#but yeah! thank you for the ask! I always appreciate it!!!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Death Wish 4

Warnings: non/dubcon, mentions of crime, violence/abuse and other dark elements. My username actually says you never asked for any of this.

My warnings are not exhaustive but be aware this is a dark fic and may include potentially triggering topics. Please use your common sense when consuming content. I am not responsible for your decisions.

Character: mob!Bucky Barnes

Part of the mob drabbles au

Summary: you’re desperate for a way out of your life and you ask a powerful man for help (plus!reader)

As usual, I would appreciate any and all feedback. I’m happy to once more go on this adventure with all of you! Thank you in advance for your comments and for reblogging ❤️

Photo Inspo

You close the cupboard and nearly jump out of your skin as Adrienne stands on the other side of it. She stares at you soberly before she cracks a sheepish smile. You show your fright with a hand on your chest. 

“Ade,” you huff. 

She laughs, “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean to.” 

“No problem,” you assure her. “What’s up?” 

Her nostrils flare and her smile dulls, “it’s been a week.” 

One week. Your father’s been away for a whole week. He’s rarely been gone that long. His jobs are never more than a couple days. And you haven’t heard from him, but that’s not unusual or disappointing. 

“Hopefully it will be another,” Kitty says as she walks into the kitchen with a half-finished glass of water. “It’s calm around her. Isn’t it?” 

You nod. A silence rises around the three of you. You think back to the one memory you have of a peaceful house. When it was the three of you and your mother. 

“He got that kidney stone,” Kitty says. “Had him in the hospital for days. Ma said it was barely the size of a bead.” 

“Best days of my life,” you agree. 

“I don’t remember,” Adrienne says. 

As the youngest, she doesn’t remember everything and you sometimes think that’s better for her sanity. Even your memory is splotchy. There are fractures of noise and vision. Sometimes you only see, other times it replays like a record on a player and crawls through your ears. 

“So, Ade, why are you so concerned?” Kitty inquires. 

Adrienne hesitates. She shrugs and looks away guiltily. She’s a bad liar. You all are despite the typical consequences. 

“Mitzi wanted to see a movie. They’re screening Breakfast at Tiffany’s at the Golden Reel.” 

“Audrey?” Kitty preens. “My favourite.” 

“You can come. I was going to ask both of you but I thought if daddy came back--” 

“And we’re all gone...” you add. “You two go. I can deal with him.” 

“That’s not fair,” Kitty says. 

“Really, go. I can’t focus on a movie right now.” You insist. “Have some popcorn for me, alright?” 

“He probably won’t be back,” Kitty argues. 

You wave her off, “really, it’s fine. You know I hate crowds. That theatre is tiny and it’ll probably be packed on a Friday night.” 

“Okay, but I’m bringing you back raisinettes. I know you love them.” Kitty insists. 

“Have fun. Tell Mitzi I said hello,” you turn back to the cupboards and run your hands over the laminate.  

You’ve been restless. You clean just to keep yourself busy. To keep from thinking. And when you lay down at night, you’re not kept awake by your usual dread. It isn’t your father standing on your chest, it’s Barnes. In your dreams, he doesn’t strut into the bakery, but into your house. And he sits at the table where your father would usually be and sits silently, waiting. 

That’s why this calm unsettles you. There’s always a storm to come after the quiet. It will unfurl soon enough. 

“Hey, you okay?” Kitty’s gentle touch makes you wince. 

“I’m good,” you assure her and nearly gag on your tongue. For a moment, it wasn’t your voice, it was your mother’s. That same lie she told for so long. You both hesitate at the echo of your lifetimes. “Really,” you face her, “you know I’m dying to have this place to myself. When does that ever happen?” 

She stares at you then smiles. “Yeah, enjoy it while it lasts.” 

She falters again. It’s what you’re all thinking. You want to milk every bit of joy out of your father’s absence.

Kitty turns and grabs Adrienne’s hand, quickly redirecting from the threat of inevitability, “Ade, what are you gonna wear?” 

You take out the flour and all the other ingredients you need. For once, you can afford to spare a bit extra. When you were really young, your mother made her own bread. That stopped shortly after she had Adrienne. She changed after that. She was exhausted with all three of you. 

You measure out every part before you begin. Your precision has always tied you in knots. You find it hard to get anything done unless it’s entirely orderly. In a house full of chaos, that means often you don’t get much done at all. 

As you knead the dough, Kitty and Adrienne’s voices garble on the stairs. They stomp down to the first floor and call a goodbye to you through the doorway. You holler back but keep your hands working. 

You get the loaf in the oven and clean up the mess. The empty house is eerie. You can’t remember the last time you were all alone. Really alone. Ever, if at all. 

You wash the bowls and the whisk and the roller. You put it all away, step-by-step, running through every single detail. The timer counts down, the small windable egg-shaped device your mother always had going for one way or another. Tick, tick, tick. 

It goes off and you jump. For a moment, you’re back in your memories. You’re a little girl at the table, watching your mother rush around the kitchen. Kitty’s beside you with a colouring book and Adrienne’s in her high chair. 

Your mother limps from the fridge to stove. She doesn’t let it deter her. She bends to take out the pan of food as the timer buzzes. Adrienne wails at the noise as you cover your ears. The smell of cigarette smoke singes in your nostrils. 

You twist the timer so it goes silent as you return to the present. The scent of tobacco fades as the fresh baked bread wafts through the kitchen. You open the creaky oven door and use the stained oven mitts to take the pan out. Your mother always wanted a new stove. You assume she wanted a lot of things that she never got. 

You put the pan down and shut off the oven. The doorbell pierces the air and you spin, your back hitting the counter. It wouldn’t be your father; he wouldn’t ring the door. He always comes in screaming, even in the middle of the night. 

You put the oven mitts on the table as you pass and step out into the hall. You near the door, a shadow on the other side of the marbled glass. It’s a man. Your heartbeat spikes. Your father is a criminal and a strange man knocking at your door could be dangerous. 

Is death so bad when living is terrifying? 

You open the door. A wash of deja vu flows over you. It isn’t a strange man, it’s Steve Rogers. Again. That doesn’t ease your worries. 

“You. Come.” He orders you. 

You hold your breath. That is unusual. Your father’s associates come and go, most times they barely acknowledge you, they’re just there to talk shit with him or drag him off on some caper. This is different. Different is dangerous. 

“Yeah, you,” he snaps his fingers. “Look, I don’t got all day. Let’s go.” 

You look down. “My shoes...” 

“Get ‘em,” he sighs and crosses his arms. 

You step back and leave the door open. You step into a pair of scuffed flats and turn back to him. You don’t even grab your keys as you step outside. You’re shaking. 

“Is it my father?” You ask. 

“No questions.” He snarls as he turns and marches down the narrow walkway. 

You follow him at a bouncing pace, struggling to keep up with him. He leads you to the car and opens the back door. It’s then that you notice the woman in his front seat. Her eyes are skittish as she peers back out at you. 

“Get in,” he opens the door. “And be quiet.” 

You put your head down and obey. The look on that woman’s face is enough to keep you in line. Besides, your father prepared you well. There’s an order to things and you’re at the very bottom. So keep your mouth shut and do what you’re told. 

[planetpedri]

hiiii, please can you do something with pau cubarsi where the reader accompanies him to the ballon dor awards and it’s super sweet xxx

Heavy focus — Pau Cubarsí.

Pairing: Pau Cubarsí x Fem!Reader.

Summary: It was Pau’s first Ballon D’or, and he had successfully gotten you to agree to go (not that it took that much convincing). You had never been so proud in your life, and he was just happy you were there with him.

Word count: 470+

Disclaimer/s: Allll fluff !!

A/N: I’m nauseous, I tried to search for a specific pic of him there but why did like. nobody fucking post pics of him there ???

The black dress felt far too tight on you. Maybe it was your nerves or it was just tight, either way, you were uncomfortable. You had agreed to go with Pau when he asked without hesitation, but you seemed to have forgotten that you would have to spend hours in the dress you’d boughten. Not to mention, the heels? They were digging onto the soles of your feet the more you walked.

But! All that aside, it was an amazing experience. You’d arrived, walked the carpet with him and his family, taken pictures, and it all went smoothly.

Pau was a bundle of jittery nerves, he couldn’t keep a smile off his face at all times, except for maybe when he asked how you were doing.

The whole night, he’d turned to you every ten to twenty minutes to ask, “are you alright?” or “are you having fun?” oh, and your favorite, “you’ll tell me if you need a break, right?”

Each time, you gave him a reassuring smile, and if you could, a quick squeeze of the hand. Pau would smile back, a hint of relief on his face every time. When he could, he would give you a quick peck. Whether that was on the lips, cheek, forehead, or just anywhere on your head and face in general.

When Lamine won an award, you glanced at Pau, your lips forming a pout at how adorable he looked. He held not jealousy or envy toward his friend, just adoration. Pau was always so proud of his teammates, and it was very clear in his expression just how proud he felt.

You wore the same expression the whole night, but it wasn’t just for all the other players, it was especially for Pau. Your boyfriend. Your stomach hurt with how proud you were of him and how far he had come. He was all you could focus on the whole night, in fact.

Leaning over, after the awards were over and everyone began to leave, you whisper in Pau’s ear. “I’m so proud of you.” He glanced down at you, his ears turning a light shade of maroon.

“I didn’t win anything?” He chuckles, standing up and lending you a hand.

You shrug, “that doesn’t mean anything. You still made it here, thats a big accomplishment. I’m proud of you, always.”

Using the grip he had on your hand, he pulls you closer to him. “Thank you.” He cheeses, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your lips, which you greet happily. “I love you.”

“Of course.” You hum against his lips. “And, I love you too.” You pull back with a grin, “now, i’m sure you have people to meander around and talk with, yeah?”

Pau sighs, tangling his fingers through yours. “Unfortunately, you are right.”

likes , comments , and reblog’s are all appreciated. lmk if you’d like to be tagged in future posts for Pau or for any specific people i write for in general.

DTS , @halfwayhearted @spidybaby !

[cookiekissers]

Hi, I just discovered your CRK profile and I can say I simply LOVED it. I would like to commission a piece featuring Peach Blossom Cookie.In the scene, he invites the reader to walk under the cherry blossom trees and then they have a picnic where he and the reader start enjoying some peach-shaped sweets. During this, he confesses his feelings to the reader, and they end up kissing, with a light touch of nsfw at the end! No need for them to go all the way, hickeys, kisses, and neck bites are enough! (Make the reader big and rough to contrast with Peach Blossom, Peach blossom dom pls )

I am 19 years old, I am of legal age! :)

[Peach Blossom Cookie x Male Reader]

ahhh thank you so much! Happy to hear you enjoyed my writing! <3 also hell yeah dom top peach blossom 🤟

Petals danced around you as you walked under the blooming cherry blossom trees with Peach Blossom Cookie firmly clinging to your arm. You could feel his hands massaging your muscles lightly.

"Your arms are so strong, Y/N Cookie~" He giggled. "But you feel a bit tense, is something the matter?" Peach Blossom Cookie asked innocently. You avoided his eyes with a bit of a pout. He always teased you like this.

"I'm fine," you replied quietly. "Are we almost there?" You quickly changed the subject, sensing that something was off. It made you a bit bashful since Peach Blossom Cookie was noticeably more affectionate than usual. He was a caring and warm Cookie in general, but when he was alone with you his attention became more... intimate.

"Almost~" Peach Blossom Cookie giggled. "It's such a beautiful spot, perfect for a picnic, so I had to take you here." He smiled warmly. Your heart quickened, though you tried to urge it not to at the sight of his lovely smile.

The spot Peach Blossom Cookie brought you to was a small, secluded clearing surrounded by large cherry trees in full bloom. The branches above created a thick canopy of blossoms and leaves, providing pleasant shade.

Peach Blossom Cookie pulled out a large blanket from the wicker basket he was carrying. Even though you offered to help him carry the supplies, he insisted on doing it himself and even shooed you away when you tried to assist with setting up the picnic. Peach Blossom Cookie happily prepared the picnic spread, taking great care to ensure everything was perfect and in its place. You didn't understand his commitment to detail for a simple, casual picnic but a part of you appreciated him going through the trouble for you.

Once it was finally ready, Peach Blossom Cookie gestured for you to come sit beside him, patting the blanket with a cute smile on his face. You did as requested, but you were a little hesitant. You tried not to let your mind wander as you sat beside Peach Blossom Cookie, who looked so perfect against the pink falling petals.

Peach Blossom Cookie took your hand into his. You looked up in surprise at his action, but he didn't meet your gaze, instead choosing to focus on the picnic basket set in front of him. He kept your hand in his as he opened the basket, pulling out the various snacks and desserts. Colorful macarons that resembled peaches, chocolate-covered strawberries, and longevity peach buns. The buns were neatly packed in their own small bamboo steam basket.

Peach Blossom Cookie gingerly picked up one of the peach macarons and smiled.

"I made these for you, my dear. Please, try one," he said softly, his eyes sparkling with warmth. Peach Blossom Cookie offered the delicate macaron, but you found yourself leaning away slightly as he tried to feed it to you, overwhelmed by the tenderness of the action. Heat crept to your cheeks as you felt a flutter in your chest, caught between shyness and the allure of his affectionate gaze.

"You didn't have to go through all the trouble just for me." You muttered, quickly turning away so Peach Blossom Cookie didn't see the blush dusting your cheeks.

Peach Blossom Cookie was a great friend to you and he cared for you deeply. And you cared for him, albeit in your own aloof way. He would be overly affectionate sometimes, but you never really minded. Even now, as his hand remained firmly wrapped around yours, you couldn't help but feel a warm glow in your chest.

"You're my dear friend. Of course, I wanted to do this for you," he answered earnestly. His words gave you a fluttery feeling in your stomach, and you raced to stuff down the feeling as quickly as possible.

"Still... it's very thoughtful of you," you said quietly. You gently placed your free hand over his and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Thank you," you mumbled, feeling slightly embarrassed. Peach Blossom Cookie's face brightened, clearly pleased with your gratitude. He playfully pressed the dessert lightly against your lips.

"Now say 'ahh'~!" Peach Blossom Cookie laughed. This time, you accepted it with a small smile. He waited patiently as you chewed thoughtfully. The crispy, but still soft cookie mixed with the feather-light cream in the middle surrounded a center of sweet peach jam. It was clear that Peach Blossom Cookie had put in a lot of care when making these sweets for you.

"It's really good." You praised. Peach Blossom Cookie beamed at your praise and released his grip on your hand so he could reach out and cup your cheek, brushing a stray crumb or two from the corner of your mouth with his thumb. You felt your heart suddenly jump in your chest as Peach Blossom Cookie leaned forward slightly, his soft face inches away from yours.

"I'm so happy you like them." He whispered softly, his pale dough painted with a bright blush. You felt your whole body tingle beneath his touch.

"Y/N Cookie... there's another reason why I brought you out for a picnic." Peach Blossom Cookie admitted. You stared into his eyes, completely mesmerized. Swallowing thickly, you knew where this was going, and just the thought made your stomach twist with a flurry of butterflies. Peach Blossom Cookie's eyes flickered briefly to your parted lips.

"You mean so much to me, and I realized, that I'm in love with you, Y/N Cookie." He confessed.

You froze as the words sunk in. Love. Peach Blossom Cookie loved you? Your mind was a whirl of thoughts. How long had Peach Blossom had these feelings for you?

It almost didn't seem real, like he was simply teasing you like he had always done. But there was no mistaking his words and they rang true throughout your entire being, making your heart skip a beat.

Before you could even think of a response, Peach Blossom Cookie cupped your face with his hands, and closed the distance between your lips. He kissed you, softly and tentatively as if testing the waters before eagerly deepening the kiss as if he could no longer hold himself back. Your mind went blank, and the only thing you could think of was that you wanted to kiss him back.

Peach Blossom Cookie slid his arms over your broad shoulders and straddled your lap. You wrapped your arms around him in turn. Peach Blossom Cookie moved his lips against yours passionately, kissing you as if he had been wanting to do this forever, as if he were starving for your touch this entire time.

You mind was so hazy with affection that you didn't even realize what was happening until you were flat on your back, and Peach Blossom Cookie had pinned you to the ground. He trailed kisses across your jawline and neck, breathing heavily while kissing every inch of exposed dough his soft lips could reach. Your hands flew up to grip his slim back is surprise as you jumped slightly at the sensation of Peach Blossom Cookie sucking a hickey into your dough. You couldn't keep a moan from slipping past your lips and panting needily, your head fell back, exposing your throat to Peach Blossom Cookie, allowing him better access to mark your neck.

"Oh, my sweet Y/N Cookie... I've been waiting for this day for so long~," Peach Blossom Cookie whispered against your dough as he continued to suck on the sensitive spots along your neck. You shivered at his words, his hot breath tickling your dough and sending a rush of pleasure through your veins.

You let out a yelp of surprise as you felt Peach Blossom Cookie suddenly bite you. You could hear him chuckle deeply at your reaction. You were unable to form any coherent thought or words, your vision tunneling as he began to leave love bite after love bite all over you.

You had known Peach Blossom Cookie for a while, but you never expected something like this from him. Despite his slim frame and pretty looks, he had surprised you with his sudden strength, and never did you think he could be so... dominate.

Peach Blossom Cookie's lips worked expertly over your neck, leaving marks on your dough with each lick and nip. He kissed each hickey and love bite affectionately when he was done. The sensations alone were enough to make you dizzy with pleasure, and your hands gripped his back tightly. You hips bucked involuntarily and you swore quietly when Peach Blossom Cookie paused.

"Sorry..." You muttered in embarrassment at your own body's excitement.

Peach Blossom Cookie chuckled as he lifted his head to look into your eyes.

"You don't need to apologize. It's quite alright. I know you are not used to being touched so intimately, my dear." He teased. You frowned in annoyance.

"Hey-!" You began to protest with a grumble, but Peach Blossom Cookie quickly silenced you by leaning back and grinding himself against you, making you gasp.

"It's alright. I'm a little excited myself." Peach Blossom Cookie giggled suggestively. "The picnic can wait. After all, I want you to enjoy my gift to you~" He purred, leaning down again, his teeth grazing your neck, ready to strip you and expand his marking to the rest of your body.

You didn't expect things to turn out this way when going on a picnic with Peach Blossom Cookie, but you couldn't say you disliked the results.

[multifandom-nerds-blog]

So I watched Moominvalley season 4 and uhhh

It's a Moominvalley season I guess. Which happened to be the final one? Also Comet in Moominvalley was... An episode. That was the final one🤨?

Like there was definitely some nice stuff in this season. Like Moominpapa and Aunt Jane was great in my opinion. But then you had THE final episode which was Comet in Moominvalley, which had such a weird pacing if you ask me. It was also super anticlimactic, and didn't feel like a final episode at all. (Though I'm very happy that the Groke found some sort of friends in the Valley, really nice.)

There was also barely any Snufkin content??? Like. It's Snufkin! The most popular Moomin character? They gave him so much character development in the first 3 seasons only to have him show up in like 3 or 4 episodes of the last one. Not to forget how they baited a meeting between him and the Joxter (who was in Moominvalley for 3 episodes! And Snufkin only appeared in the last of those 3 episodes.) only to not do something with it. Though I give it to them that this probably would've been a bit difficult to tackle. I'm also not sure if there's another official Moomin Media where they do actually physically met? I think in the books Snufkin knows that Joxter is his dad, but never actually met him.

Though I very much appreciate how Little My continues to be extremely annoyed with the Mymble. You go girl. (Which brings to the question if anyone knows that Snufkin, including him, is also a child of the Mymble/Little Mys brother? The Mymble definitely wouldn't tell anyone on her own. Though I feel like it was implied that they know it in the Aunt Jane episode, but also not really. One way or the other they gave off the correct sibling vibes in that episode.)

And for the rest of the episodes.... I don't even remember all of them. Like, there wasn't really anything to pay attention to in most episodes. Not sure why we needed a whole episode for Brisk in the final episode (Misabel content is always good though). The train episode was kinda funny. I did like how the Joxter either didn't listen to what was going on or just took a nap most of the time (mood). And again I liked that the Groke had more positive interactions with some of the main characters.

So yeah. All in all the season was honestly a bit dissapointing. Especially the last episode. They really fumbled with Comet in Moominvalley. Moominpapa and Aunt Jane would have honestly been a much better final episode. Mostly cause it was about Moominpapas book releasing, which he wrote entire time over, and ends on a message of "family can be very complicated" (absolutely, yes, thank you). And since the Moomins just are this big mix of biological and found family I feel like this would have worked pretty well as a final episode.

[nientedal]

Is it worth watching Megamind rules? I know I’m not the target, but I’m curious yet also really really nervous. I know it’s for a younger audience but I’m still very on the fence and nervous. Also, love your writing

Omg, thank you, and thank you also for asking and yes yes yes 100% it's worth watching! It got crapped on by a bunch of people who decided based on the trailer alone that it was going to suck (how fun, a movie about a guy who everyone decided would be bad despite not knowing him got a spinoff show that...everyone decided would be bad despite not watching it, lol), so there's a lot of hate out there for it. I'm assuming you've caught wind of some of that, and that's why you're nervous? But for what it's worth, I was staring at the screen like :D basically the whole time.

Some more specific notes below the cut, but the tl;dr is please do give it a chance, if you can find the time. A G-rated direct-to-stream spinoff show wasn't what a lot of people were hoping for, and there were some folks who watched it and didn't care for it. But from a writing and storytelling standpoint, I think it is genuinely good! If you go in expecting a cute kids' show with some silly jokes and social misfits finding their way forward together, and keep an open mind, I don't think you'll be disappointed-- in fact I think you may be pleasantly surprised.

Just a gentle heads-up on some stuff because I'm not sure what you've heard about the show yet, and I'm also not sure what your existing expectations are!

The show was given a shoestring budget and not a lot of time to go from writers' room to final product, and yes, there are places where you can tell. But that was always going to be the case-- Dreamworks was absolutely not going to be spending big bucks on a franchise they've barely even acknowledged in more than a decade-- and it wasn't the fault of the people making the show. And even with the low budget, I think the animation is still genuinely solid, especially in later episodes! The people who worked on it really did a great job with what they were given.

And the writing!!! Holy shit!!! My skin is clear my crops are watered etc. The original writers handled this project and they absolutely delivered. Megamind & Roxanne's whole Thing progresses and grows and blooms in a really sweet and realistic way. Roxanne & Chum have a great dynamic. (Minion's name needed to be changed for legal reasons, but the writers worked that into the show and I gotta say, as a trans person, it was really lovely to see everyone else respond to "actually, because of [spoiler], my name is Chum now" with "oh! cool okay" and just keep rolling. I love that that was modeled for kids.) The character development is tangible; we get to watch Megamind really grow as a person and come into his own over the course of the series. And the new characters are really fun-- I genuinely enjoyed Keiko and everyone else.

Even if you never watch it (it's OK if you don't!) please just know: this was not a cash grab; Megamind Rules was made by people who truly cared about this world and these characters.

It's also worth noting that Megamind Versus the Doom Syndicate (the extended pilot) recaps a bunch of the same lessons as the original movie, so it can feel a little bit "...didn't we JUST do this??" but I'm pretty sure that was because Dreamworks didn't want to rely on kids to watch a 13 year old movie rated PG instead of G in order to get context. So like, I get it. And it's still cute! But it did mean I was nervous about what the rest of the series would be like until I was laughing my ass off halfway through Episode 2. If you're nervous, you can probably skip MMVtDS.

But yeah. I truly do think Megamind Rules is worth watching, and I've been so sad about the reception it received. Thank you so much for asking about it, and not just deciding it sucks and moving on. I appreciate you.

[mykoreanlove]

Win you over

Part 3

„Sorry?“, he repeated dumbfounded.

„I think you’re very brave for coming up here and confessing. I’m really impressed. However, I can’t date you“, you explained.

„And why is that?“

„Because I don’t date“, you said sternly.

Hyunjin kept his cool, on the exterior. Internally however he had no idea what just had happened.

„This is the first time he ever got rejected. I can’t believe it“, Minho muttered under his breath.

„Is that like a set rule?“, he asked.

„It’s a rule I had to implement for myself.“

„Because…?“

You took a deep breath, debating whether you should disclose your reasons. Normally you wouldn’t but you felt like you had to with him. Since he was open and honest with you, you wanted to reciprocate.

„Whenever I tried dating someone I was always the one ending up with a broken heart. It always felt like love was avoiding me. After a while I just gave up“, you explained.

„Gave up?“

The thought alone made him wince in pain, Hyunjin was a hopeless romantic at heart.

„Yeah, I decided to give up on real guys.“

He nodded, feeling empathy for your decision.

„Wait, real guys?“, Minho interfered.

You chuckled nervously, you didn’t think he would catch that.

„Yeah, I substituted real guys for the one in my head.“

Minho‘s eyes widened in shock, trying to figure out if you were a severe nutcase yourself. Hyunjin however was highly intrigued.

„The one in your head?“

You nodded.

„I asked myself why I wanted to date someone in the first place. And I figured out that it was all because of certain emotions I wanted to feel. You know, feeling wanted and adored, appreciated and desired. Stuff like that“, you said with reddened cheeks.

Hyunjin‘s eyes wandered down to your body, taking in your physique.

„I know exactly what you mean“, he mumbled.

„And I figured out that I can give those feelings to myself. So, I invented a boyfriend“, you explained proudly.

„I knew she was crazy“, Minho elbowed Hyunjin.

„A boyfriend, huh?“

„Yeah, he’s basically my perfect type. I imagine him with me, sending me words of encouragement. Consoling me when I’m down, complimenting me when I look into the mirror. Stuff like that.“

„I bet she’s kissing her pillow thinking it was him“, Minho mumbled under his breath.

„I even gave him a name“, you laughed, very well aware how ridiculous all of this sounded. But you were set in your decision - this man, even though he was an invention of your mind, was the only one there for you, always by your side, no matter what.

„I see“, Hyunjin grinned. „That’s a lot to compete with“, he mused.

You packed up your stuff and got up, ready to leave.

„Thank you for understanding. Have a great life, Hyunjin.“

You waved at him and made your way home.

„Dude, I told you! Psychologists are all crazy! Like what the fuck was that? She had a made up boyfriend? That’s a grown woman!“

Hyunjin however was unfazed, smiling from ear to ear.

„What are you smiling about?“

„I’m going to make her mine.“

„What?!“, Minho yelled. „Are you out of it?“

Hyunjin took a step closer to his friend, determination in his brown eyes.

„Hyung, I’m going to show her that I’m better than the guy she made up in her mind. I will break down her walls and show her that fiction can’t even come close to what I can give her. Believe me when I say this - I will win her over.“

[gem-de-lune]

Helloo! Thank you for all the readings ever since and for the update today! My question is abt you if its not too intruding. If it is, you could just ignore this! That’s totally fine i just got curious because i am a believer of energy and vibrations but i don’t know the specifics of it yet such as to how to communicate or protect them and sorts. I just think tarot is just one way to go around this.

Anyways, how did you get into tarot reading? And how are you doing your practice to improve your intuition(?), if thats the right term for it😅

Aside from helpful and hopeful, I find your readings interesting. I feel like you’re more attuned to people’s energy as opposed to the other readers i see online. You seem more detailed because the other readers comes off as general when they do read like it’d make me think ‘isn’t that just common sense?’

I didn’t know before that people you read can give permission or not if they like 😲 Maybe it’s because it’s the first time I’ve seen a daily reading of someone but how exactly does that work. To what part of the person exactly are you asking? Also, I remember one of your readings where you asked all members and that there were members who were much more open and quicker to respond. I don’t know why but i just imagined little souls of them lining up and all 😭

Oh, when you read do you see a vision on your head or do you hear words? And how does your practice differ from others?

Sorry i thought I was going to ask a few questions only but more questions pop up as I typed this haha. I’m actually curious more than I thought. Again if all this feels too intrusive you don’t have to answer! Sometimes, my curiosity just gets to me.

Thanks again btw! We really appreciate you 🧡

Oooooh i will answer to the best of my ability since a few of yall have been asking something similar and this ask has all those questions compiled lmao.

A- I got into Tarot by essentially ordering a deck and just started doing personal readings for myself right away. I used Tumblr and TarotForum.net (not active to use anymore, but you can research card combinations here, and it is very helpful). I highly recommend just starting with the regular Rider Waite deck bc you need to learn what the most generic cards mean to make things easy later.

B- As for how i practice and improve, as I got more familiar and understanding, i realized there were basically multiple ways to connect energetically for a tarot reading. you could connect to a higher power/diety, or to an individual's subconsious/energy. From there, I began meditating- specifically chakra training, awareness meditations, and Kundalini Awakening Meditation to train my intuition and spiritual connections. At that time, I was connecting to what I call "the universe" mainly. However, the Universe is very finnicky. Sometimes they answer me, and sometimes they do not, and there is no way of me forcing it. I did not realize this until a bit later ofc bc sometimes when you start out, you are not sure of how you should be feeling or what feelings to trust.

But yeah so as I worked on my Chakra training I kind of naturally gravitated more towards people rather than only the Universe, because it makes for a more accurate palatable reading in simple human terms. The Universe and Dieties will always try to tell you more profound and big picture things, but sometimes you do not need all of that. You just need the most simple explaination. So in most instances, I request for the Universe to assist- but only assist rather than getting all my answers from them. And I ask them to be simple and specific on purpose otherwise the message is way too philosophical and weird bc they are trying to tell me the grand plan of things rather than the details- which is what Humans are more focused on. Reading by connecting to the individual makes it more personable and easy to understand.

C- Now as to how I connect with individuals, I do this in about 3 steps that vary. 1st, I make sure I am able to focus my mind. I do this through some breathing exercises that take a few seconds to a minute, and maybe a short meditation. In particular i keep my eyes closed and have a ritual of blowing onto my deck (idk why it just centers me) then I inhale with it against my nose, then blow out one more time with my head tilted up. I like to visualize sending out shimmering wind that travels to where it needs to be and sends me there. At this point, and let's use Seunghan for example, i will see the person I am connecting to.

They could be doing anything, walking down the street, in a cafe, at home, etc. In Seunghan's case he is usually walking around on the streets or at a public space sitting like at a cafe. Maybe I will call out to him or tap him on the shoulder. He looks up and I hold out my hand. Whether he takes it or not is the permission. That is if I can even get that far though.

I can be stopped at any point. Whether I am unable to visualize the air I blow out travelling, or unable to see the person I attempt to connect to, or maybe i try to force it thinking it's me and the person looks weird (has a weird smile, weird expression, or looks warped), or even if they simply don't acknowledge me at all. All of these are the permission indicators. How far I get insidcates how willing they are to share anything at all.

In the case of the last vibe check attempt, I was stifled from just the air blowing. I thought maybe I was not focusing, so I tried more after meditating, but rather than the normal enviornment I was met with a door to which I knocked on to request entry. Upon entering, I was met with some darkness and just weird expressions from Seunghan and one other member I could not place. But all were just standing around staring at me like an intruder. I could not see all their faces which means some did not want me to know what they were feeling at all. So I decided that was a no and I needed to go for now.

Now when it comes to visualizing like this, it is so much faster, more fleeting, and less detailed than what I am describing. It's the vagueness of a fleeting dream almost. Which is why meditating and being focused is important bc every small sensation is a factor that changes the enviornment.

When I do the Vibe checks for all members- I've mentioned before about how "so and so wanted to go first" lol and it IS kinda similar to tiny voices in my head but since it's energy it's just a vibe. I'll ask "who wants to go first" and in my head like a mantra it'll be like "Sohee Sohee Sohee Wonbin Wonbin SOHEE SOHEE Eunseok SOHEE" and some will back off and wait their turn and others will go back and forth for a while before I get annoyed 🥴. The event is similar to when you have a song stuck in your head. The ones that usually care the least about the order are Anton and Sungchan, also sometimes Shotaro. Eunseok likes to be first a lot and so does Wonbin. Sohee it just depends. I usually do Seunghan first regardless so he is never part of those fights lol.

Anyways a lot of this is basic intuition and rather than really detailed visions it is just feeling. You know like how you meet your friend's eyes and you immediately know what they are thinking or wanting to say? It is like that. As to how I came to know how to do that I have absolutley no clue- it is just something I eventually started doing naturally when doing readings and it has been very accurate ever since.

I hope this makes sense lolol i kinda went too in depth but I hope this helps for anyone interested in learning to read tarot in this method. You have to be a very empathetic person though and remember to use protection like sage or crystals bc some people's energy lingers on you and it's not always good at all....

Also be careful if you just connect to dieties bc not all of them are good. USE PROTECTION!!

Hope this was insightful! If anyone has further questions about this, feel free to leave a comment? I'll answer them.

[angelfrogs]

If there is one interesting in-story similarity between humans and devils in CSM it is how both most humans and most devils do not seem to "get" Denji and Pochita's bond. Do you agree or am I imagining things?

I agree with you to an extent, mainly because I am of the perspective that humans and devils are more similar than anyone ever gives them credit for. I also think that anyone who does understand their bond doesn’t ever feel the need to speak on it.

If we really look at the people who make claims about Denji and Pochita (or make choices about them as if chainsaw man is an object) most of them are made by characters in positions of power who have trouble with empathy. Yoru, Makima, and public safety are the most obvious and glaring examples. I think this stems from an obsession with power that is also shared by these characters (I’m counting “public safety” as a character for the sake of simplicity, as there are many choices made by “public safety” that have unknown origins)… the reason none of them tend to actually succeed or understand what they’re handling is because they refuse to see Denji.

I’m going to focus in on Yoru for the rest of this, not only because she is most relevant to the current happenings in the manga but because I think she’s really the perfect character to use as a base example here: from the very beginning I’ve felt that Yoru’s main function within the story is to be wrong. She’s hasty, she throws tantrums, her plans don’t pan out, she’s consistently causing blunders for Asa, and though she’s introduced in a show of power and she has her moments of competence in battle it’s obvious that’s all she’s really capable of. She needs Asa more than Asa needs her. (though I’m not saying Asa doesn’t need her, she clearly does, but not to the same extent and not in the same way) In early chapters of part two there’s great care to set up Yoru’s character in a way that can be easily summed up as “she only cares about power, and she is wrong to think this way.” This set up is why people thought/think the crux of part two was going to be Asa “humanizing” Yoru sort of like how Power had been in part one, and while that could possibly be the endgame it’s certainly not true now, because while they have an abundance of similarities they have one fatal difference: where Power was a lair, Yoru is just wrong. Yoru is wrong when she says the most power comes from killing what you care about. Yoru is wrong about what chainsaw man is. Yoru is wrong about what interpersonal relationships are. Yoru is wrong to never see Denji, but rather a weapon in his place.

I also think Yoru is wrong to think that this fight, no matter the outcome, will fulfill her.

Part of why Yoru is wrong is because Asa is usually right, because if Yoru and Asa are meant to be opposites then where Yoru is war, Asa is community. But I don’t think Yoru is necessarily in this position because she’s a devil, but rather because she refuses to learn. As I mentioned earlier, Power and Yoru have a very similar position in the beginning of their stories: both of them are in a weakened state after a heavy loss, both of them have little to no social awareness, both of them take their frustrations out on the people around them, both of them are extremely arrogant and boastful. Both of them are devils. But the main thing that separates them is actually Meowy. While Power is not literally Meowy’s mother, she acts as such, she cares for Meowy and puts herself in danger to keep Meowy safe. She experiences these very “human” emotions and more importantly she acts on them. She realizes she has these feelings and learns how to show care. Yoru considers Tank and Gun to be her children, she feels a deep kinship with them, but she can’t fully seem to act on these feelings because she has an incorrect interpretation of what being a parent means. And you can make the argument that this is because Power is a fiend but Power isn’t the only devil to act like this (I cannot justify putting an entire rant about the Angel Devil here but KNOW I have one locked and loaded, know there’s another one about Nayuta, and furthermore! The fucking leech devil. It always pisses me off that I never see anyone talk about the leech devil when discussing the morality of devils but I digress) Yoru is also not the only character to trade “children” for their own personal gain, there’s a reason this is happening simultaneously with the deal between the aging devil and public safety (most specifically Tadashi Hasegawa). Yoru may be the war devil, but she’s not unique in the way she views power/personal gain, and she’s certainly not unique in the way she treats the people around her.

And I mean, people quite literally made her.

I guess the point I’m trying to drive home with all this is there’s no vice unique to devils, nor is there a virtue unique to humans, which is not only why both humans and devils misunderstand the relationship Denji and Pochita have but why they’re able to have that relationship in the first place.

This kinda got away from me but I hope that this is at least a little bit what you wanted to hear about!

[mel-loly]

-Thank you to everyone who is still here liking, commenting and reblogging my content, even though I'm not posting much “fandom stuff” anymore, you're still here! And I really appreciate that.. (and that makes me so happy, that as I showed in the “comic”, it moves me, so- thank you, really!!) :]💛

Also- a tip: there are also many other blogs that don't post fandom stuff, but when they do, they get more likes and reblogs than the original/other content.. So also give love to those people who have your original content, reblog, like, comment, because that's what they need! Recognition for your original content! And I know you won't regret it, and it won't hurt you to do what I said! In fact, you will be doing good and giving such love that many wanted and deserve.

A big kiss/p and a hug! Even for those who only like it when I post fandom stuff, I still love you so much, and I won't stop making this type of content, ok? I just want to give more voice to what I have to give as original, because that's what makes me happy and well ^^

-Melissa, Designer.

[cacaocheri]

You should in fact infodump about poptropica, also have you considered doing a DCA Poptropica crossover to unite the interests together?

1) I love you so much dude I hope you're doing well 2) poptropica infodump would take AGES this thing has lore so I will spare you a ramble for now 3) I . HAVE NOT. BUT COULD YOU IMAGINE SUN AND MOON WITH THE BIG BOBBLE HEADS

no? because I can

oh my god they look so much more cursed than I expected I'm laughing my ass off

[fumifooms]

You’re the resident chilchuck expert, so I was wondering about it there’s any canon evidence that he did smoke or drink alcohol when the kids were younger. I always thought it was something he picked up due to the strain of long jobs, when the kids were already older, but you seem to think differently and I was wondering if there was anything in canon that made you think that way!

Now that you mention it I guess it’s true there’s no evidence he did. Smoking we literally only know he does at all because of one post-canon panel where he has a pipe, so no, maybe this stick-looking thing in the panel below too though, I’m not familiar with medieval blunts eh. We’ve only gotten one panel of him and his daughters interacting when he was younger so that’s not too insightful on that end, and every time we see him young and freckled it’s in a job context so again not really where we’d expect him to be drinking. The earliest proof (/heavy implication since we don’t see inside his cup I guess) is 3 years before canon when Laios hired him, where he’s at a bar, classily placed in front of all the bottles ✨

Yes alcohol is almost certainly a way through which he copes especially with stress, so if we go with the theory he started around when work got stressful, well… Chilchuck started working as a dungeon diver ~10 years ago so when he was ~19, making Mei, Fler and Puck ~6 and ~4 respectively, so from that draw the ‘stressful enough to start drinking’ line wherever. We don’t know what he did before that with any certainty, and it could be he did odd jobs, lived off mostly mutual aid and community work, or just focused on only raising the girls. Half-foots tend to be poor and I see a lot of that in Chilchuck specifically so I don’t think he could have afforded to not have some paying work though.

Alright, so then why do I think he did drink when the girls were younger?

I give a more complete rundown of the info we do have on his alcoholism & his family with panels and references + all the speculation I make from it here. But the most targeted and objective answer I can give is:

Of course there’s just very very little we know of Chilchuck’s life with his family, and I think that’s by design too. I think the details being up in the air is to allow more nuance of the topic, like, will trying to reconcile go well, is their relationship salvageable? We don’t know, because we don’t know. So the message of giving hope a chance even if it’s a long shot, that things could truly go either way, is more relevant, impactful and meta in that way. How long was he usually away for work travels into dungeons here and there? How did he act with them? All we can really do is "it’s likely that", it’s a game of which way we think it’s more implied. There’s no right and wrong answer, it’s all Marcille-like larping the events out.

My main reason for thinking he did is that his father died from overdrinking and Chilchuck is very aware of that. He mentions his death casually in the extra about their stance in alcohol and in his Adventurer’s Bible profile, etc. He acts towards the alcohol presumably the same way his father did: with abandon, uncaring for the health effects, probably happily too considering Chil says "dying doing something you love is a good way to go". Very nonchalant. So you see what I’m saying here right, wether he started early or late, his view of alcoholism is very influenced by what he saw of his father growing up, it’s something he’s always been aware of and saw in a mostly positive light, something that was inherited you could say. It’s something that was normalized to him from a young age. Regardless or where it goes from there I do think this part is pretty inarguable. If he views it positively and we know that in the present alcohol is his favorite food that he loveees, why would he have held out on it? Personally that all makes me think he started drinking very young, especially since I don’t think they limited alcohol to age as much as modern standards (and I mean, teen drinking is obviously still a thing). And here you could argue, maybe his father only started being more alcoholic later when Chilchuck moved out, or something! And to that there’s nothing I can say except I think that’s a strained theory, and that Chil might even have largely cut contact with his family after moving out (since he and siblings are listed as almost strangers and he doesn’t seem to have much emotional attachment to his parents, but also we know he rents out his place to "a relative"), but it’s true we have no evidence. "I’ve picked up the same unhealthy substance abuse as my father haha! No big deal right haha" repeated several times to me just reeks of intergenerational trauma, & the alcoholism gene as they call it. Like effortless sliding into drinking as if it’s second nature, it’s natural after all, it’s normal after all, it just makes sense, it makes you feel good and that’s what matters.

BUT from my interpretation then we have a whole other layer: Alcohol is of course not all bad always. I think he’s always liked alcohol and drank it on occasion and it brought him joy etc etc, but I think here the implication in the question is, how much effect did his drinking have on the family relations and how early? And that isn’t so much about when him drinking started but when the alcoholism started. Addiction is defined by a habitual need, that has negative effects from filling that need (physical, psychological, social, etc) and negative effects from withdrawal. If Chilchuck drinks to cope and he can’t not cope without it, that’s addiction, if it affects his relationships, if it’s a need he has, it’s addiction. Addiction can be very insidious or look very casual, and how much people around the person are affected by it is case by case. Cheerful drunks can be sooo annoying and uncomfortable though let me tell you. Drunks are drunks. And this sounds harsh, but even if people around them don’t mind drunks it’ll still have some effects here and there, living with one can be such a challenge, ily drunks good luck with everything much like Chilchuck you deserve good things 🫡　

Ok so with the dad thing and the "ok well maybe he’s always drunk casually but it grew worse with time around when he started working as a dungeon diver" precision made, the other bit of info we have that can inform this is that Chilchuck is on a harsh diet and that alcohol is a hunger suppressant. We know Chilchuck "used to be fine not eating for two days", that literally on screen to quench his hunger so it doesn’t keep him awake he goes to drink water, drinking is his instinct to hunger. Again alcohol is a hunger suppressant and if you want info on that the internet has a lot of research and anecdotes about it. He diets to be light enough to not trigger traps, so it’s something he’d have started after dungeon diving most likely. Between the stress and the diet, yes it’s extremely likely he started going harder on alcohol after he started working in dungeons. There’s arguments on wether two days without eating is less bad for half-foots than humans, but apart from smaller portions there’s nothing that indicates half-foots should get less than 3 meals a day. They need less food but that’s because their bodies are smaller: the need is proportional to the body, not smaller than others’ races, the % of need is similar even if the kg amount of food isn’t. There’s also a popular headcanon with support basis that half-foots run hot and have a faster heartrate and whatnot, and that points towards a faster metabolism rather than a slower one: a bigger need for eating rather than a smaller one. He has the same bmi, 18, as Mickbell, but perhaps because Chil is much taller he’s less intensely visibly underweight with ribs showing than Mick during the bath extra, it’s most apparent when he becomes tallman.

Alcohol is something so important and omnipresent in his character that I have trouble believing it’s something that was part of only a small fraction of his life. It’s his immediate go-to, his no-brainer solution to a good time, I’ve sort of always assumed especially after looking at his family that it’s something he discovered decently young. Like he just acts like someone who’s always had alcohol to fall back on and started young idk. Alcohol is one of his 5 keywords. Alcoholism is very ingrained into his world view and life, his "it doesn’t matter" stance his ‘work hard play hard’ mentality his idea that the world is harsh so you get relief where you can, so it just makes sense to me that it’s always been in his life, if not actively then at least looming.

So yes, in summary, my take: Alcohol was always something he wholly enjoyed to an unwise level, but it could have been considered casual until he started working into dungeons and his need for it on a regular basis intensified. Alcohol has always had positive association to him as far as we see, so when it started being a problem he didn’t see it as such. To quote him, "I drink anytime I get the opportunity to". Why always? Approval of father’s alcoholism. Why alcoholism at all? Diet + stress & coping mechanism & emotional stunting + relationship issues, and she decided she had enough after they went out for drinks.

Conclusion

Chilchuck having drunk from a young age makes sense to me and it’s the strongest narrative angle I see on the table, but that’s objectively a me opinion, yes! There’s no evidence, moreso there’s canon basis and supporting info, but it’s all very left up to interpretation. I’ve made my own interpretations of things from the scraps we see, like everyone else making Chilwife and daughters content. Wether you have a stance on the topic or prefer to leave it vague in your takes, it’ll be a matter of what you think makes most sense, or what you’d rather believe I suppose (which is literally fine)

There’s a lot of subjectivity in even just setting up causal links like you probably noticed during this and I was careful with my word choices, because we’re just extrapolating from what we see and unless Kui states it explicitly from a reliable mouth all we can do is have informed opinions on most things. This particular interpretation is influenced by other details I’ve come to form about my interpretation of Chilchuck too, the more psychological and emotional sides of him and the timeline and how his marriage even happened, unplanned pregnancy imo. Like I hope you see what I mean, this wasn’t supposed to be a speculation post just a quick simple answer but there’s sort of just no other and concise but complete way with the subjectivity nuance to put "maybe it could be yes because of this but maybe it could be no because of this" haha

Edit: Wait the phrasing on this… Interesting. "In recent years"— This does imply that if not just his alcohol consumption increasing then the diversity and quality of it did, so either he indeed did start drinking more (not necessarily meaning he didn’t drink before) assumedly because of his wife leaving, or he started drinking other/more different kinds of alcohol maybe due to the union he formed + his experience gave him greater salary than he had previously (and no wife and family to provide money for), a mix of both perhaps.

[tetzoro]

i don’t think i’ve talked about it much on this blog because tbh it’s a really difficult thing for me to talk about in general but a year ago today, i lost my baby kitty zelda and i miss her so very much ᰔ

[moeblob]

just gonna lay down and think about FE Fates for a while now... don't mind me

[kindlythevoid]

MUTUALS!

I'm writing everyone's names down so I remember. If I do not know your name (and please assume I don't unless you very recently told me (Moss) or your name is very clearly present in your bio and/or pinned intro post!!), please do me a favor and drop your preferred name in the reblogs/comments/tags so I can write it down in my special notes app for y'all.

As a reward for your participation, please take a cookie!

(Hugs will be given out upon receiving the name)

[castles-in-the-eyre]

five songs you actually listen to + five tags

@belbeten thank you for the tag!!! and… please ignore how tremendously late this is 🫣

here’s five i’ve been rotating in my brain lately:

hollywood - jukebox the ghost

angel eyes - abba

hard to explain - the strokes

you! me! dancing!! - los campesinos!

pink lemonade - the wombats

and entirely no-pressure tags: @yourlocalgremlin @blutterlie @brizelizi @cx-shhhh @arteyhumano299 :)

[good-beans]

hiii ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ i've always loved your milgram posts and was hoping to hear you talk about them more. it's a bit of a vague question but i was hoping to hear your thoughts about the characters or songs? or really anything that's been on your mind! apart from that i hope you've been having a good day (or night!)

!!!!! Omg thank you so much?? This made me so happy ;----; I’m sorry if this is more than you bargained for LMAO, I planned on jotting down a few ideas and then I just kept on writing..... I hope you’re having a lovely day/night as well!✨

So, I’m actually not that great with coming up with crime-logistic theories (timelines, cause of death, etc), but I’ve been really interested in the insights we get on characterization from the visuals – specifically looking at the image of the self each prisoner creates. The videos come directly from inside their minds, so these self-portrayals aren’t biased with any manipulation, or how they want Es to view them. I’ve been bouncing these around in my head for a while, so thank you for the reason to actually put them down somewhere! So here are details I’ve gathered on each of them: (And as with everything in Milgram, this is just how I understood the symbolism – if people have other interpretations, I’d love to hear them!)

I've been adding edits as the videos come out, it's through Double now 👍

Haruka: In T1 he definitely views himself as guilty and dangerous. Though it’s dulled with crayon/mixed media, he conjurs a version of himself that’s committing acts of violence even in his suffering. The fact that his younger self takes place as the victim is huge to me. I know it could mean a lot of different things, but my personal interpretation is that Haruka sees his younger self in his little sister. He’s been in her shoes, at a time his mother loved him best. He believes he is the reason she stopped loving him, so he hates this younger version of himself. And this leads him to hate her now that he’s seeing the similarities. I believe the crimes happened extremely recently, so it’s interesting that he portrays himself as a child in much of AKAA. He’s not trying to gain any sympathy with it, he still genuinely feels like a child because of how much he struggles with everything. I don’t know what it means yet, but I’m really interested that despite all the water imagery he creates, he visualizes himself sinking, but never actually drowning/short of breath.

Yuno: Between both her videos, we only ever see her, her, her. This is because her motivations start and end with herself. I know her situation relies heavily on her clients, but in her mind, the one who was in control the whole time was only her. She’s the only one she can trust to take care of her and show her real love. She got into her line of work to benefit herself, and she went through with the abortion to benefit herself. She's taking the ultimate responsibility for everything that happened to her and everything that she did. Though it makes me happy to see it framed as all self love, it’s also clear that she’s unhappy with her decision. And, when everything revolves around versions of herself, there’s only one person she has to hate... 

Fuuta: His self-imagery makes it really clear how his mindset changed between trials. In T1 he genuinely saw himself as the hero, the perfect knight-in-shining-armor. Once doubt started to creep into his mind, though, he suddenly portrays himself as a criminal hiding/running in dark areas. It also emphasizes what he was saying about he and Es being the same: the girl that he accused of being guilty turned to ash after being sprayed with his paint, and he starts turning to ash along with Es’ accusation and paint spray. I know people took that as his suicidal intent, (and while that’s still a thing he does express in Backdraft,) I actually think his burning is just his fear that he’ll die at the end of Milgram. Another little detail, but someone mentioned Fuuta only lowered his mask in BIO while he’s looking at his phone, showing that he was comfortable being his true self online. Meaning, he had to hide some part of him in the rest of his life. The original post said it was his sexuality, but I feel as though it’s just his general paranoia of living around warriors for justice who are constantly evaluating everyone’s behavior. 

Muu: Like I said, the mvs are unaffected by how the prisoners want Es to see them, soI was confused when people accused Muu of lying in T1 – that’s really how she took the situation! In her mind, that pain and mistreatment made up everything in her. Her being a bully didn’t matter then, because it was her being a victim that led to the murder. In T2, it becomes obvious that she does harbor guilt. No innocent person would imagine themselves as a monstrous, destructive creature like that. If she really saw herself as ‘queen bee,’ her self-image would be flawless and lovable. INMF also showed she wasn’t exaggerating when she said the murder was to free her: we see her self-image undergo a full metamorphosis and sprout beautiful wings to fly away after she committed her crime. Though she feels guilty, she still believes it was necessary to free her and is grateful for it. 

Shidou: I’m still working on something more solid for him, but it’s neat that T1 he’s expressing so much guilt, yet his self-image is engaged in very abstract activities (like gardening and eating). In T2 he’s chilled out a bit, but that’s the video that death is literally following everywhere he goes (flowers dying behind him, ghosts surrounding him). It’s also worth noting he has his doctor’s coat on for most of Throw Down, and then the only time he has it in Triage is at the very end when he’s vowing to help the other prisoners. I’ll get back with a more solid conclusion on his soon…

Mahiru: Like Yuno (and semi-Haruka), the fact that she’s the only one to appear in her T1 mv means all her turmoil at that point was focused inward. She saw herself as the center of her story, which isn’t necessarily a selfish thing. It means she didn’t blame her boyfriend for anything that happened, even though we know it was likely both of their behaviors that led to the crime. Still, she’s taking all the focus on herself, showing off all the things she did and failed to do for him. The fact that everything is styled like magazine pages hints that she genuinely sees their relationship as the picture perfect example of love. After all, she was just “being herself” when she got him killed. Even that deep in her heart, she’s convinced love makes everything glossy and perfect. T2 is an exaggeration on both if these concepts -- she still places all the blame/responsibility on herself, but with the doubt creeping into her mind, she now paints herself as a villain who's actively causing harm. She still believes love can make things seem perfect, but you get the sense she's become more aware that love wasn't transforming her, it was blinding her.

Kazui: So this is an interesting one. I know that the performance aspect in Half is obviously taken as him acting that he loves his wife when he’s fallen in love with someone else. However, the fact that he’s singing the song about how he doesn’t love her, while still on stage/in costume, gives me a different idea. His emotions are so incredibly repressed and fucked up that even in the privacy of his own heart, he feels like he has to act sad about her death when he actually has more complex emotions than that. Not that he’s happy about it per se, but the feelings are too complex for him to show even himself. (We’ve all been there, where even in our private thoughts it’s embarrassing to be excited about something terrible and we pretend we aren’t.) That’s why I think he sounds so different in Cat – he’s able to start processing that he may be relieved, or freed that she’s gone. Or maybe he’s just realizing the murder was indirect, and he’s allowed to mourn her without feeling personally guilty for her death. So I agree the costumes represent hiding his emotions, but I think it symbolizes him lying to himself rather than just lying to his wife. Now with Cat out, he also shows a shift of seeing himself more guilty. Rather than a passive character, his self appears as someone known for manipulation/deception/trickery -- someone in charge of the situation. He's coming to terms with his active role in Hinako's death. There's also a lot of his vices shown explicitly, like his smoking and drinking. He's painting himself in a much worse light as his guilt gets to him. (There's also something to be said about the whole thing appearing under a filter of advertisement/magazine style, but I have yet to form a conclusion I'm happy with on that)

Amane: The major thing I took away from Magic was the idea that Amane really felt isolated in her cult. She saw herself as a normal girl, but no one else is like her. The other children are all animals, and the adults in charge are animalistic or robotic. There’s such a divide between her and everyone else. She’s not living up to their religious standards the way that everyone else seems to be. With the adults, it could be the general feeling that they never listen to or understand her because of her age. In T2, she presents a new idea: she's struggling with how complex and contradictory the self is. The human psyche has so many parts and motivations, all represented by the marching band members. She wants to be good. She's flawed. She wants to help. She's hurting. She knows she's made mistakes. She thinks she deserves punishment. That punishment is killing her. The adults around her make behaving look/sound so easy, but at her age it's so difficult to be a good girl! She wants to show this to Es, since she believes her own misbehavior + following the rules is what led to her murder.

Mikoto: He’s got So much going on with identity and sense of self, but I don’t have a ton on him that hasn’t already been said lol. I’ve joked that the reason Meme got the most views is because it’s the mv that shows the most skin, but on a serious note I think it’s really telling that there are so many bathing/showering/teeth brushing shots. Those are the stereotypical times we’re completely alone with ourselves – cleaning off everything external so that it’s just us in our purest form left when we’re done. An interesting switch I've noticed in Double is that the two major alters never appear beside each other -- there's the reflection in the mirror at one point (and I think they're face to face in the last shot?) but we never see both onscreen at the same time. This is because each one wants to distance themselves from the other: Bokukoto wants to show he's far from a killer, and Orekoto wants to make it clear he's the one who was violent. Neither wants to be mistaken for the other, but it's much easier to do so since they look exactly the same in this video (no color-coded clothes or eyes or lighting.) A minor detail, but the fact that his own mind conjured up quotes around the word "savior" makes it clear that Orekoto is slowly realizing his actions may have gotten Bokukoto into more trouble than they saved him from...

Kotoko: I don’t have too much on her at the moment since a lot of her scenes seem to be memories of her actual life and are already in line with what she’s admitted about herself. Still, I think the running-alongside-wolves scenes reveal a lot. She very clearly works alone, but wolves are known for hunting in a pack. Does she have a pack we haven’t seen yet? Is there a reason she’s no longer with them? Does she just dream of running with one because she craves that belonging so deeply? @tokyogruel pointed out that wolves are known for caring for weaker pack members, and that there have been analyses of the Harrow wolves being Kotoko's family members. This is revealing a more prominent focus on family than she's made known so far. She doesn't see herself as an elevated hero -- she always views herself as part of a team, which can be seen in her 'deal' with Es and all her T2 commentary of their partnership (despite being their prisoner). She's always been working with and for others.