#but with the perspective he's gained he's deeply connected with what really matters to him

[youryesman]

I wondered why I woke up at 2 AM and then visions of inquisitor Anders flashed through my mind; a vivid picturebook given free reign of my imagination. I'm something of an Andraste.

[artisticxlly]

Some (actually a lot) of my thoughts on Kagehina; the theme of soulmates

Disclaimer: I am still somewhat new to posting in this fandom. Someone might've posted these same exact takes already (I'm not well-versed in Kagehina analyses). This is just my pure brainrot (also unfiltered, so this doesn't have a ton of structure, just a collection of thoughts)!

As I'm getting more into this ship, there are a lot of things that make me emotional about them.

A thing some people point out when it comes to these two is that Kageyama's backstory is shown extremely late in the manga as a 'protagonist' (or at the least a very essential character). You can argue whether or not it's done well, but for me this is perfect to demonstrate a full-circle moment, as not only did Kageyama find this person that Kazuyo promised would find him, you as the reader only get to realise that now as well.

And adding onto that, in my opinion it also contrasts nicely with Hinata, as his backstory is shown from day one, it is one of the first things explored in the manga. It starts and ends with them, so to say.

About their backstories: As someone who is very much invested in Kageyama's whole arc of 'king of the court', here is a speculation of how he actually got to that point.

Maybe this is a bit obvious, but losing someone like Kazuyo is devastating. And at the time, Kageyama would struggle with making new friends. He always stands out in those flashback panels as someone who carries a passion for volleyball like no one else (at least for his childhood) e.g., he gets made fun of for not owning any video games.

At its core, that intense interest in volleyball is what connected him and his grandfather so deeply.

It makes sense for Kageyama to desperately dig his nails into that remainder of Kazuyo, to train more and more, chasing that feeling of connection to someone he was actively grieving.

And another point would be this famous panel:

"If you get really good". And Kageyama takes his word for it, because really, his grandfather would be one of the people he trusts more than anything. And he practices until exhaustion, until he can't, because he wants to have a relationship (no matter the nature) like that again, wants a deep connection that he gains through his passion for the sport. He wants someome to find him.

I think Kageyama would reach a point where the amount of time he invests into training would be both physically and mentally unhealthy.

And perhaps, that's what also leads to him having no compassion for the people who don't share the same fire as him on the court (which is honestly a bit of a common theme for Haikyuu and its characters). He'd probably doubt a person who is like what Kazuyo described exists.

And then Kageyama and Hinata meet for the first time one the court.

The first time you read the chapter, without knowing Kageyama's backstory, it's moreso framed that he is insensitive, a bit of a jerk too. You could even go as far as to interpret the line as "what have you been doing until now?!" as Kageyama thinking that Hinata should've just practised harder, especially when he later goes on to say that Hinata should get "better" if he truly wants to stay on the court for as long as possible.

When you reread the chapter after going through the whole manga though, these lines make a lot more sense, and - depending on your perspective - are a peek into just how taken Kageyama is when faced with someone who has an equal drive as him on the court.

"what have you been doing until now?!" turns into "why havent I met you sooner?" and "get better" turns into "get better (than me), so we can find each other again" (As Kazuyo promised Kageyama).

And actually, Kazuyo's promise doesn't become fully realised until they're both on the court again, now in different teams.

That's why the flashback to that line is used then, not when Hinata and Kageyama first bond together in Karasuno. Not when they make it to nationals. No, when they're in different teams, after you see Hinata go through a whole lot of development away from Kageyama, then the promise is finally fullfilled. You could argue back and forth which one of them ended up being "someone better" but the point is that they found each other again because of it. Doesn't even really matter that they're on different sides of the court.

That's their arc, at least if you focus on Kageyama's backstory.

In general though, they are characters that continue to parallel each other, over and over. The amount of which is honestly almost absurd.

One of the biggest ones is just how much time they invest into practicing. The manga makes it a point with both of them that the people around them don't have the same energy as them and get tired out while those two continue (like maniacs /hj).

I mean, they even like the gym for the same reason, they're fond of the smell (which makes me mushy I won't lie, these goddamn weirdos /aff).

Another one is that they both want to play as long as possible. During the first chapter of the manga, this whole theme drags through the whole chapter, as they both talk about competing to get to stay on the court longer than anyone else.

A last one, that I just find funny, is that their numbers are ALWAYS one apart and sometimes even the same as in previous teams, EXCEPT for their third year in high school.

Junior high 3rd year: 2 and 1

High school 1st year: 9 and 10

High school 3rd year: 2 and 5

Adlers/Msby: 20 and 21

National team (2021): 9 and 10

Ali Roma/Asas São Paulo: 20 and 21

Like it's not funny, how much these two share even before knowing each other. And yet, despite all the similarities, they don't immediately get along in the way you'd think. There is this weird tension where they meet, they immediately get into an argument, too. But there is nuance to it. Izumi points it out actually, that Kageyama took Hinata seriously. The rest of the people there didn't think much of Hinata and his team, and yet Kageyama seemed to have this 'innate' sense that Hinata wasn't someone you should underestimate.

And they fight again, when trying to get into Karasuno, when they're in Karasuno, etc. etc. But it's never them genuinely disliking each other, it's just bickering at most. And as you read along you grow very fond of that aspect of them.

Maybe it is an overused word, but I don't think you could make it any clearer that those two are written to be soulmates.

Anyways, those are my thoughts! I'm obviously not normal about them, but I hope someone else can agree with these takes ^^

[moonmaidensblessing]

I love Mystra as a character 100% she is an interesting character and I adore a morally questionable woman with my whole heart in fiction but I’m trying to get why ppl get so up in arms about her. The concept of a god having a relationship with a mortal is nothing new; I wrote a paper last semester comparing Gale to Odysseus from the Odyssey for the very reason they both had relationships with goddesses. It’s an age old situation in storytelling and it’s not going anywhere.

I want to posit the idea that Gale’s specific dynamic with Mystra is meant to say more about his character than her, though, since he’s a major character. His relationship with her is meant to tell us how powerful he is as a magic-wielder and his connection with it is beyond what the average magic user could ever dream of (looking at you, Rolan). He is written in a way where his hubris could easily lead him down a bad path as it had done several times for him already. He is messing with things beyond his scope, though, as he learns more and gains more power. A line I always feel people ignore is the one where he admits Mystra gave him a boundary, appropriately seeing what it was (Netherese magic that had almost killed her before), and tend to majorly focus on the fact that she asks him to sacrifice himself with that same dangerous magic. I mean, i can see a perspective that she sees Gale as potentially dangerous since he disregards her request ultimately for his own purposes. Keep in mind that he not only has the parasite, but the orb would not be kept docile forever. He became dangerous not only to himself but to anyone unfortunate enough to be too close should something happen. He poses an immense threat after crossing Mystra’s boundary (his exact words in the game) to Faerûn, the Weave itself, etc.

Does this make Gale evil? No. He had the potential to be misguided, though, in the story, and I think that’s the writers’ point was how easy it can be to fall from might and grace with a few bad choices.

To be frank, the dynamic between Gale and Mystra is already at a power imbalance. It isn’t like the other characters’ relationships with their respective gods because they do not have a romantic/sexual relationship with them. That is a curious distinction, which would lend to it being an unusual practice in the pantheon of the gods. However, not in the world of literature, I reiterate. Odysseus has intimate encounters with several goddesses in his journey, but the power dynamic is written a lot differently than how Mystra and Gale are written.

If it is not common practice for the gods to have intimate interactions with mortals, then it stands to reason that it is a discouraged practice among them. We hear a line in the game where Gale says Ao would not permit Mystra to interfere with their quest directly, and it makes me believe there are rules for the gods when it comes to behavior and actions. For some reason, Mystra is permitted to have romantic relationships with her worshippers, and I have to wonder why that is. Apparently it isn’t common for her to pick someone, either, as she only chooses the most powerful magic users, her chosen ones. And that’s where we start to run into the power imbalances.

In a way, Gale seeks the missing magic for Mystra to feel equal to her, a dynamic that would never change no matter what he did. Who is really to blame? The one who wasn’t content in his role, or the god who appointed him to that role in the first place? Was Mystra trying to influence Gale to stop him reaching beyond mortal limitations, fearing (for him or perhaps herself even) that he would go too far one day just like Karsus before him? Did she have valid reasons to fear for herself and the world of magic, or was it a selfish act borne out of fear of losing control of her realm and devotees? I don’t think people are thinking this deeply about it.

I think why it bugs me in a way that kids keep giving her the “bitchy mean girl” treatment is because it sort of cheapens the intent of the characters and what its supposed to mean to the story. I mean It’s funny but I cannot look at a single piece of fan art online that features her without 15 ppl all unironically claiming acts of violence against a video game character. I guess its ultimately harmless, and it’s good they are able to recognize the harm that is present there, but it feels like a simple, immature take just all on its own.

Oh and I definitely hate the take that Mystra groomed him. That makes me pretty sick, and it isn’t a one to one comparison at all. I sincerely doubt that was the writers intention at all, and as someone who was it makes me pretty mad to see. But I understand since most of those saying it are most likely children who don’t have a full grasp of it. Grooming is intentionally selecting a person with little to no agency, usually a child, and trying to influence them into inappropriate situations. I feel like comparing that dynamic to grooming demeans and lessens the importance of it in real life. Gale was not a child, he has agency in his life, and it’s cheapening even to the character to imply he had no control over what was happening to him. Unless I’m missing some crucial piece of lore here, I don’t think Mystra picked Gale as her chosen and romantic partner to make him find Karsus’ tome and unleash the magic that nearly killed her and destroyed all magic.

I get it, though, why young people jump to that conclusion. Again, I’m glad that they see the surface level issue. I’m glad they can recognize danger and harm. That’s good. I’d never discourage someone, especially children, in being vigilant with those sorts of things.

And of course all this said not so much in defense of Mystra (though I love her as a character) but more in defense of the people who wrote it. This game is so well written and it’s one of the reasons why I love it so much. The fact that I CAN write an essay for class about it makes me over the moon and goes to show just how much depth and meaning is present.

[xinghai]

break, guilt, midnight + 17, 39 !

Thank you for the ask rezia ^ o ^

guilt: What is your OC guilty about? How do they handle their guilt? Do they try to avoid guilt, or do they accept it?

Early on, Shiryo feels guilty about not having a strong passion or interest like other people. They get really into a hobby for a little bit and then move on. There’s the guilt of using resources and investing time in something they won’t build on in the future. For this one, they didn’t really have a coping mechanism (hobbies were how they coped with moving around and being isolated from others). Before meeting Makoto, they avoided it. However, they slowly learned to accept that it wasn’t a waste to explore and learn about new things, even if they didn’t use those skills in the future. The act of exploring and experiencing those things is meaningful in itself.

Shiryo definitely feels guilt about how Makoto (P3 protag) sacrificed himself to save the world. They felt powerless at not being able to help him carry that burden, despite how much he’d helped them, and about forgetting about his sacrifice in the first place (no matter how briefly). There’s also aspects of survivor’s guilt there. Their family also moved soon after the 3rd years graduated, so they felt guilt/isolation at “leaving” the others.

At first, they probably couldn’t find joy in any of their hobbies. Everything they do reminds them of the time they had with Makoto and how he helped them accept themself. Their method of coping is withdrawing to numb the pain, similar with how they coped with leaving their friends behind in the past when moving. Avoidance for sure.

However, this time, they reach out to support the people that they and Makoto care for deeply. They’ve established bonds, and they realize those bonds aren’t lost- even with death. They think about Makoto when they do the things they used to try together (and with new experiences too). Eventually, they learn to cherish and honor his memory without being chained to the past.

Continuing below…

17. What positives did they extrapolate from the worst moment(s) of their life?

They lost one of their closest friends, but they gained a new perspective on life. They’re living for both Makoto and themself. Makoto saved their life, and that makes it something to cherish, unlike in the past where they felt that they were replacable/expendable. And they realize that their life has meaning, even if they're a little different from other people.

midnight: What keeps your OC up at night? Do they have nightmares? Fears? Anxieties? What do they do in the small hours of the morning when they should be sleeping?

The Dark Hour keeps him up at night .

I'm getting the vibe that Shiryo is an anxious person in general (got that depression anxiety combo with fries). They're anxious about having to constantly leave places behind when their family moves and about not feeling connected with others. When they do get to know someone, they're worried about losing that person and eventually leaving them behind. They worry about normal stuff like their grades, relationships with friends and their parents, and their future. And of course, he probably worries about fighting shadows during his time with SEES. Risking your life isn't small potatoes (contrary to what Akechi says).

In the small hours of the morning, they pick up whatever hobby they're into at the time. They find comfort in working with their hands and thinking about a different hobby.

break: What would cause your OC to break down completely? What do they look like when that happens? Has anyone ever seen them at their lowest?

Being forced to leave a friend behind in a life/death situation would probably push them over the edge. It's all their favorite trauma packaged into one. They get very scatterbrained/disorganized trying to think of a solution, and he probably has to be pulled away by an ally because he's either completely frozen or will dive in without thinking. It's probably also hard to manage his persona, though not to the extent of Shinji or Strega. All of SEES has seen them like that, and he's able to lean on them even once he moves.

39. If they could go back in time, how would they reassure their child-self about the future?

Based on P3: The Answer, they would choose not to go back in time. Though they experienced many hardships, he also had many wonderful experiences. They wouldn't have it any other way. Though if he could send a message without space/time shenanigans, they'd tell themself that it's okay to try new things. Even if brief, those experiences are not time wasted.

[danganronpa-21]

002 for Kiki Naegi!

Alright, sounds good! Sorry for the lateness on this one. Almost forgot I had it!

This question is in relation to this ask game.

How I feel about this character:

She's the worst and she sucks. Just kidding lol, imagine if I beta read the entirety of DR4 and that was the outcome?

Anyway, jokes aside, my time on DR4 gave me a lot of time to get to know Kiki, and I found one of the things I liked about her is that she is such an emotional protagonist. Even paired up against Makoto or Komaru, Kiki is someone who seems to feel very strongly about the things in her life, and I found that that was something I could relate to in her as a protagonist. She's also incredibly soft-hearted, I think more so than we've ever seen, so that gave her a bit of an interesting edge as a character who sort of takes on a leadership position as well. She has a pretty naive perspective on life, but does everything she can to use that to her advantage, so it ends up creating this image of a character who's very in touch with herself and her emotions, so much so that she can use them for the good of other people. It's definitely one of the things that stands out most to me about her as a character, and I found it made her a character that I enjoyed getting to follow.

All the People I Ship Romantically with this Character:

I feel like, because I beta read and spent so much time trying to prep Shukiki moments, I feel like that's gotta be my answer. Sometimes beta reading really was 'alright, cute, but how can we make this cuter?"

In the end, that meant that I ended up gaining some sort of affection for the pairing, as we tried to create a few good moments where you could see that Kiki and Shuichi were connecting. Plus, I feel like as far as couples go, they would be pretty healthy in the sense that they are both quite in touch with their feelings. Even if Shuichi were to get upset and shut down a bit, Kiki knows easily how to work through that and make sure that the two of them are having healthy communication. I think they just end up being one of those pairings that becomes sugary sweet, and even if they're not your cup of tea, you can usually find that you get why other people like them.

My non-romantic OTP for this character:

I find whenever I answer this question, on my FE blog or here, I'm always like "omg their siblings", and guess what? I'm about to do it again, my non-romantic BROTP for this character is Kiki & Mokubo! I think they have the potential for a really interesting dynamic. Kiki is really friendly and open. She's a people's person, she likes getting along with others and having a good time and making sure that everyone is feeling good. As I've said already, she's good at opening up to others and sharing with them the ways that she's feeling. It's kind of like she just has a natural sense for how to work with others. Mokubo, on the other hand, is more like his mom. He's reserved and quiet, but sharp as a knife in matters of intelligence. He notices things that others might not pick up on right away, and tends to think much more inquisitively about the world. It is obvious that he has lots of love for the people around him, of course, but it is distinctly in his own way. I think they pair up really nicely against each other, because Kiki acts as a comforting compass for moments when Mokubo's neurodivergency might make him feel a bit uneasy about social situations or heavy emotions, and Mokubo encourages Kiki to think more deeply about the world around her and helps her understand the world from a fresh, unique perspective that enables her to grow as a person. I think I could see them growing up into strong adults with a really healthy relationship, knowing they can depend on each other in their times of need.

Plus, with the two of them at the helm as the older siblings... you just know that each of them give great advice to Kiri and Koto as they grow up. They're going to be so well-rounded because of their big sibs lol.

My unpopular opinion about this character:

You see, the thing is, I'm not entirely sure what the popular opinion is about this character. Gaiden readers, please feel free to enlighten me.

I suppose a potential unpopular opinion that I have is that while I love how Kiki is so soft-hearted and emotional, I would be quite interested in seeing at a point where her anger gets really just like, dry. Like you remember that old Tumblr post that talked about dry vs. wet anger? I feel like Kiki experiences a lot of wet anger, where there’s a lot of sadness and heavy emotion tied to it. She’s one of those people who tends to cry when she’s upset. That’s why I would really like to see her become just so, so angry at someone someday that she just… doesn’t. I think it would be neat to see her at the point where she just doesn’t care anymore, where she is sharp with someone and doesn’t care how much they grovel, because they are beyond forgiveness. Sure, Kiki is a loving person, but everyone has their limits. I guess you could say I’m just interested in seeing what hers are!

One thing I wish would happen/had happened with this character in canon:

I would really have loved to delve into more of how her demeanour makes her different to Kyoko as a detective. As Kiki has been studying under her mother for a little bit (although she is not at Kyoko's level), I think it would be interesting to see how Kyoko might modify the training for Kiki. Especially considering she recognizes that Fuhito's training was not necessarily always healthy for her when she was a girl, I think she would probably put some serious reflection in on how it needed to change for her. Really though, I think my big concern for it is maybe seeing more in-depth of how the difference of behaviour affects Kiki. Kiki is a direct contrast to her mom in the sense that whereas Kyoko keeps herself very guarded, Kiki tends to express herself very openly. She feels most things quite deeply and expresses her emotions on the regular, almost never feeling the need to hold anything in just for the sake of keeping up a facade. She's very honest about who she is, but I really do wonder how that would inform her position as a child in Kirigiri detective training. I almost wonder if it was ever a potential point of conflict between mother and daughter, with Kyoko accidentally foisting certain expectations on Kiki while training her because it was instinctive from what she learned. I guess I just think exploring how Kiki is so different from the regular Kirigiri detective and how it affects the way she does things would have been an interesting path to go down at some point!

My OTP:

Already mentioned this one, so maybe I’ll do what I did when I did these on my FE blog and just talk about what a future for them would be like. For Shukiki, I think it’s a pretty big question because per the end of DR4, they’re still in university. They still have to get through the end of their schooling to decide whether or not they’ll end up having a life together! So in this case, I’m thinking probably mostly about a university romance. A real university romance, where they’re not forced into yet another messed up killing game.

I feel like Kiki’s pretty busy the first few months of university, because she’s one of those people who would run around and join a whole bunch of clubs and make no friends. Shuichi still has a really hard time making friends, but Kiki easily drags him in to conversations, going “hey, this is Shuichi”. Still, even if Kiki makes all kinds of friends, I don’t see them being a big parties couple. I think a lot of their time while they’re in school is spent having coffee dates, studying together, and having movie/gaming nights in the dorms. Some of the other students might dismiss them as high school sweethearts and say that they won’t last (even if this isn’t quite the case), but they quickly find that the foundation of the relationship is strong. Healthy communication is kind of their forté, and they later become an example for other people seeking romantic relationships in the same group. No matter what happens as they pass through their academic careers, they have each other’s backs and celebrate each other’s successes.

My crossover ship:

I mentioned this when I fulfilled the asks on my other blog, but I'm actually not too big of a fan of crossovers just in general, so I probably won't have anything to say here! I'll keep Kiki with her own folks.

A headcanon fact:

Kiki’s silver ahoge and heterochromatic eyes are not just chance traits, but actually a minor condition called piebaldism. For piebaldism, it differs from something like albinism in the fact that particular cells are capable of producing the colour they intend to, but are “turned off”. You might generally recognize this condition in others by people who have white patches closer to the front of their hair, or paler patches of skin.

For Kiki, it doesn’t seem as if a great deal of her body has been affected by the condition, but you can majorly see it in her eyes, her ahoge, and some parts of her body that are usually covered by her clothes. For example, there are lighter patches of skin on her shoulders, lower back, and thighs. The condition doesn’t affect her health at all — unlike albinism, it doesn’t even affect her ability to see — so she often just doesn’t mention it. It’s just the kind of thing she would mention in a “two truths and a lie” game, to be honest!

[theemptyskies]

Real talk.

Note that this is all my own opinion.

In an Azula Redemption fic, in my opinion, she would not have to apologize for anything she did during the war to anyone. Not Aang for shooting him with lightning. Not Mai or Ty lee for imprisoning them. Not the Gaang for chasing them. The only one I might concede is targeting Katara during an Agni Kai.

What she probably should do, is apologize for the way she treated Mai, Ty lee and Zuko when they were children. If it takes place post smoke and shadow then she should apologize for what happened then as well.

She does not owe Ursa anything. While Ursa did love her, she very much neglected Azula which left her feeling that something was wrong with her. She has every right to never let Ursa in her life again. There is no argument that can be made against it. Azula's feelings are valid. She was neglected by her mother. Ursa's personal feelings don't matter. She may have loved her but I don't recall any instance where she actually told Azula that, or spent time with her, or showed even close to the same level of affection. Ursa did kiss her on the cheek the night she left, however I will point out that she woke up Zuko and made sure the last thing she said to him was basically I love you while she left Azula unconscious, unaware of the action. We never even see a scene where Ursa says "I love you" to her.

It's what makes the hallucinations so tragic at the end of season three. Those scenes can be read in a multitude of different ways. My reading of them, examining Ursa's relationship with Azula, noting that every interaction they had was shown to be confrontational, referencing "The Beach" where she did show that Ursa's relationship and abandonment did hurt her deeply, implying that she did want her affection, is this.

Ursa's neglect of Azula throughout her childhood caused Azula to develop feelings of inadequacy. This feeling pushed her to try as hard as possible to earn Ozai's affection, where she succeeded until he left her behind before the final attack in the Earth Kingdom. Coupled with Mai and Ty Lee's betrayal, this caused her feelings of inadequacy to resurface stronger than before. Everyone left her behind. Her mind conjured the image of Ursa, the origin of her feeling, saying "I love you Azula, I really do.", things we never saw her say.

I read these scenes as the hallucination saying things Azula always craved to hear. Affections that were always withheld from her, hammering away at her already fragile psyche. Reminding her repeatedly that she was never good enough for either of her parents.

So no. I don't think Azula ever needs to forgive Ursa or give her a chance and there isn't an argument that could be made to convince me. At most, I think Azula should confront her as the core of a majority of her trauma, similar to how Katara did with Yon Rah.

For me, an Azula redemption is about her coming to terms with her trauma. It's about her finding her place in a post war world. Her rebuilding her relationship with Zuko, the only family she was ever truly close with. It's about her seeing through the lies and manipulations implanted by Ozai from a young age. It's about her gaining a good, healthy support system that won't give up in her.

It's about her, in the end, finally finding peace, whatever that happens to mean for her in your particular fic. If it involves romance, that's great. A lot of people who make "shipping tier lists" rank almost every ship with Azula at the bottom, often saying things like "nobody deserves to deal with a relationship with Azula" which, as someone who grew up in an abusive household who also relates a lot to Azula, I gotta say it kind of hurts hearing people say those things. Everyone deserves love.

If your fic doesn't include romance and focuses on her familial relationships then that's also great. She definitely has a lot on her plate and building that healthy support system is an amazing route to take your fic, leading to a great heartfelt ending.

Please note, Azula's misdeeds should not be overlooked. Anyone you want to have her connect with, she will have to earn it. But I feel like it's important to understand why some people behave the way that they do. Not excuse thier actions, but to help map out how they can make up for them. That's why we were shown Zuko's tragic past while also seeing him burn down a village and threaten defenseless elderly people.

With the way she's portrayed, it easy to forget this powerful, intimidating character, is just a child. She's just 14 years old. It's something I think a lot of people who write off her character as irredeemable don't account for. Whenever I dig past her surface level "bad guy" traits with this in mind, admittedly, I'm often brought to tears. She's very much a product of her environment. It's because of that, that I think she can learn to be a better person.

To recap, an Azula redemption in no way shape or form NEEDS to include Azula trying to make the Gaang like her. It was war and every one of her actions during it have no bearing on her, from her perspective. If you want her to connect with them then you can, just don't be someone who talks bad about a redemption fic because she doesn't. 🙂

She did treat Zuko, Mai, and Ty lee very poorly as a friend and sibling. So she does owe them an apology and they are also under no obligation to give her another chance.

Ursa does not need to be forgiven, nor should it be portrayed that Ursa did nothing wrong. Azula's feelings are valid.

The core of a redemption fic (for me) is character growth, in this case for Azula.

Romance is ok in an Azula redemption fic. I personally enjoy Azutara fics where she helps Azula through her mental health recovery and trauma. Citadel is an interesting fic that takes place several years into Azula's stay in a mental institution. Here's a link if you wanna check it out. Keep in mind, it's nine years old so comic events aren't a thing 🙂 https://www.fanfiction.net/s/6939866/1/5

Not having romance is equally ok. There are a multitude of great fics both post canon and AU that follow this route. Here is a fic recommendations for it. This one is an AU taking place during the war.

Her actions should not be excused because her story is a tragedy. She still did bad things.

Hopefully you all enjoyed my little ramble that I also hope is understandable. I tend to go off on tangents a lot. Considering it's 6:30 am where I'm at and I still haven't slept, this probably has horrible grammar and is likely riddled with typos. So I'm sorry about that bit lol 😅

[demonologist-in-denim]

Review of Falling Skies by VivatRex

The first Crowley redemption fanfic I ever came across was Falling Skies by VivatRex. This was shortly after 8x23 aired, and at the time, there wasn’t much fic out there involving Crowley that portrayed him as anything other than a villain. (There still isn’t, to be fair.) And there definitely wasn’t much out there in which Crowley actively sought redemption, much less worked alongside and eventually earned himself a place among the Winchester extended family. So the fact that Falling Skies was a slow burn Mooseley fic was just something I was willing to accept in order to read what I was desperately looking for in a Crowley fic.

I was inspired by this post to go back and reread Falling Skies for the first time since it was completed in 2015. All 328,000+ words of it. It’s certainly the longest fanfic I’ve ever read. And I’ve read fanfics that more closely align to what I’m looking for – but because this was my first Crowley redemption fanfic, I’ve never forgotten it. There are parts of it - scenes, even single lines - that I vividly recall. There are scenes and dynamics and plot points in this fic that were significant influences on my own writing, and are so deeply entrenched in my understanding of post-cure Crowley that rereading this fic felt like some tantalizingly familiar part of myself echoing back to me after a long absence. This is the longest review I have ever written, but then, it is a very long fic.

To quickly summarize the fic, Falling Skies begins after 8x23, with the angels falling to earth and Sam having collapsed from attempting to abort the demon trials. The overarching plot follows Dean, Sam, humanized Cas and resentfully cured Crowley as they attempt to deal with the fallout of Abaddon’s return and the shuttering of the Gates of Heaven. Along the way, a new villainous angel makes a play to rule both Heaven and Hell, angels and demons battle out their differences on Earth in a massive slaughter, and the Man Tablet is discovered, which reveals that the ultimate apocalypse involves merging all the known planes of existence into a hellish nightmare. Throughout all of this, Crowley struggles with a blood-born conscience that begins to form itself into a soul, a mental and emotional link that now connects him and Sam due to the incomplete cure, and rival selves: the cunning, successful King of Hell and a man haunted by his past, longing to make amends. It’s equal parts Mooseley, Destiel, and a season’s worth of near-world ending scenario.

Scenes from this fic that I’ll never forget:

The opening scene is Crowley in the church at the end of 8x23, beset by guilt and shame as he can feel for the first time in hundreds of years the depth of pain and suffering he’s caused.

His reaction shortly after the aborted cure to remembering he killed Meg. “Crowley’s stomach twisted in a painful knot at the thought of Meg…The unspeakable acts that hadn’t seemed unspeakable at all at the time…He promptly rolled down the Impala’s window. He leaned out, vomiting onto the road.”

The scene in which Crowley admits to Sam that he wouldn’t have been able to live with himself after the cure, “if you’d cured me, I would’ve hung myself the minute I found a long enough rope.”

The scene in which Crowley faces the demon who tortured him on the rack, and sees himself in comparison to that demon, hears his own awful words to Kevin, “What you people fail to under is that you are nothing” and “it makes him sick to what little remained of his soul to think that his mindset had been similar to this…only a few months prior. That he hadn’t been much better than this, once.”

Fergus’ death scene was particularly memorable. Driven by fear of his own impending death and going to Hell, he accidently kills someone he loves, and takes his own life by hanging. It’s not ever the backstory I would have imagined for him, but it was written with real heart behind it.

Having chosen to complete the cure, that Crowley receives complete forgiveness. Whatever substitutes for divine authority in this fic restores his soul fully, forgives him for all his past sins, and frees Crowley from the ruinous effects of damnation. “He’d been forgiven. Crowley sobbed into his hands.” It’s not the story I would have written for Crowley, but at a time when Crowley redemption fic was almost nonexistent, this was powerful.

In a rare moment in which Cas is being a self-righteous asshole, Dean remarks that “you’re really reminding me of someone…a douche bag I met back in ’08 who threatened to throw me back into Hell if I didn’t show him the respect he deserved.” Later, after he’s had time to calm down and begins to feel guilt, Cas asks “The ‘douche bag’ who raised you from Hell. Did you hate him?”

This fic offered a lot of the emotional struggles and scenes, the waypoints, I wanted to see along Crowley’s road of redemption.

His struggle with embracing more human emotions and perspective. His subconscious and then intentional rejection of the monster he used to be.

Being offered a choice between more power and more humanity, and after a long internal struggle, choosing humanity.

Ultimately choosing the Winchesters and (Crowley’s own conception of) the greater good over demonic self-interests. Choosing “one tiny forever [with people he cared about over] a never-ending existence” without them.

Crowley grasping – and openly admitting to valuing – humanity for its own sake. And that while in becoming less demon and more human, in becoming family with the Winchesters, he may lose his powers and influence, his immortality and near-invincibility, that he gained everything else. “Love, friendship, family, redemption…It’s all worth it!”

Crowley in this fic is written as having that change of heart and perspective because of and for Sam’s sake, and I very much write all of that happening for Crowley’s own sake and born of something innate to him, but seeing all of this in a fic assured me that I wasn’t the only one who thought that redemption was possible for Crowley. It meant a lot to me at the time. I guess, considering I was willing to reread this whole fic again all these year later, it still does.

Crowley admitting – to himself and to others – or directly referencing feelings of guilt, remorse and shame for his actions. It wasn’t explained away as just the effects of the cure. Something deep inside him had been changed, restored.

The very first scene resoundingly validated my own understanding of 8x23 – Crowley caught up in the flood of emotions brought on by the cure, seeing his actions for the first time as truly monstrous, hearing the cries of his victims. Holy mother of sin, the things I’ve done.

The admittance to himself that time alone in the bunker’s dungeon, in the dark, was too much time left to self-reflection and memories – the nagging of his conscience when he’d rather suppress it entirely.

The rawness of his emotions, his unfamiliarity with how to process them, “it had been a constant struggle not to start sobbing like a bloody child since Sam had almost cured him.”

His increasing hatred of other demons, not because of their disloyalty or incompetence, but because of what they symbolize: their delight in suffering, the misery they cause, that he was anything like them and might still be – or worse, might regress and become again.

In canon, Crowley asks Sam where to begin looking for forgiveness. He references wanting to make amends again in 10x17 when he tells Sam he thought making changes to Hell “might matter.” But after the cure, Crowley in canon never really expresses one way or another whether he thinks he’s capable of or can earn redemption. We’re left with subtext that suggests Crowley thinks he’s too far gone for that – or has been convinced that that’s the case by the attitude of the Winchesters and Cas. Fanfiction, this fic, offered up what canon couldn’t:

Crowley admitting to hating what he was and wanting to be better. Saying things like “I’ve been past the point of forgiveness for a very long time” and “There’s no forgiveness, not for a thing like me” and hating that.

Feeling beyond ashamed to have so thoroughly damned himself beyond any hope of redemption. “Even now, he would never forgive himself for all he’d done – and truthfully, he didn’t believe he deserved forgiveness.” Crowley feeling that way both kills me – because it’s not true, dammit – and fulfills a perverse need to see the character suffer through all the necessary growth to actually become that better self that is worthy of that redemption.

Crowley admits his own efforts are “not enough!...It’ll never be enough” compared with his sins. In canon, Crowley never says as much, but plenty of other characters, particularly the Winchesters, are more than happy to come to that conclusion for him.

Again, I am amazed – looking back at this fic – of how much of Crowley’s road to redemption that this fic established for me. One of the waypoints was Crowley coming to a point where he recognizes and then internalizes that being a demon is bad. That seems obvious, but Crowley had so much to gain from being a demon. Did gain so much, compared to his human life. But in becoming a demon, souls lose something, something of immense and irreplaceable value.

After the aborted cure, Crowley “had all the souls of the damned behind him, and he’d never felt weaker.”

And then there was the matter of watching what other demons did, the harm they caused – seeing the consequences and aftermath of the pain and suffer he had caused, how that effected the people around him, the people Crowley now cared about.

There’s coming to grips with the understanding that possessing a meatsuit is a horrible, violating experience for that person.

And that being this broken, corrupted thing is something Crowley wants to get away from, forget about, suppress. And as he increasingly becomes one of the boys, it’s something he tries – without success – to put behind him. “Would you believe that I’d almost forgotten?...Forgot what I was.”

Crowley’s road to redemption, his “transformation” in this fic, is slow. As appealing as the plot point of the demon cure was in canon, I couldn’t imagine the reforming of a soul of the demonic smoke to be anything other than slow, painful, and complicated. It had to be that way, it had to be something of value, to be a redemption that was actually earned.

Crowley’s humanity shines through a little at a time. In most of fanfiction, we go straight to the heart of the matter. That’s what we’re here for. But it’s so much more impactful when the glimpses of Crowley’s feelings and humanity are rare, and veiled behind snark, dismissal, and misdirection.

Crowley has moments of both begrudged self-reflection and open admission. He surprises himself in moments with the sincerity of his own remarks.

Grapples with longing for humanity and the good aspects that come with that, as much as he hates human weakness.

He often considers himself not human enough, and is hard on himself for that.

He learns to ask for help, and the scene in which he asks for help in completing the cure is something I longed to see play out in canon.

There is a scene where a character can see Crowley’s true form – what an angel sees when looking at humans, demons and other beings – and can see that it’s healing from the corrosive effects of damnation and being on Hell’s rack. This is something that I’ve never explored in my own work, but have often thought about and wondered how to visualize for the reader. Visualize Crowley “regaining pieces of his soul,” as Eliot in Leverage recently put it.

There are moments in the fic in which Crowley’s demonic instincts and humanity align, have the same goal, which is something I love and would have wanted to see explored in canon.

At one particular vulnerable moment, Crowley admits to the cure having saved him – “You saved me” – from the damage done to a soul corrupted into a demon. Saved him from himself, stopping him from doing more evil in the future.

The tragedy of that, of course, is that the Winchesters didn’t save Crowley intentionally, didn’t do it for Crowley’s sake, and because of that, Crowley in canon could only begrudge having been transformed from an “icy, unfeeling, ruthless, perfect” demon into a “messy, emotional” shadow of himself.

Even as Crowley laments “not being human enough” in this fic, he is also conflicted about not being demon enough.

The part of Crowley that still revels in depravity and violent strength, in ultimate power, can’t stand the idea of being weakened by human nature. He can’t believe he’s starting to feel all those rainbow, feel-good emotions that make such fools of the Winchesters and their kind.

Equally, not being demon enough undermines Crowley’s legitimacy as King of Hell. If he isn’t the most ruthless, sadistic, uncaring monster out there, he isn’t fit to rule Hell. And not being the king, who is he? And from where does he obtain his power, his means of security and self-preservation? It is as much an existential crisis as it is a matter of wanting to hold onto ill-gotten power and authority.

Giving into his more human side, “would he even be able to rule Hell,” or would he be reduced back to the nothing that he was before bashing his way through the ranks?

And if he gives up humanity for being King? For power? At least then “I’ll have power. I’ll have respect. I’ll have the best a demon can have. The best I can have…It’s all I can do.”

Even in admitting letting go of humanity secures him power, Crowley admits that he chooses that because it’s all he thinks he’s worthy of, a sad consolation prize. Crowley never admits as much in canon, but I absolutely read all this as the reason for his inability to let go of Hell and move to join the Winchesters sooner.

Crowley’s perspective on being king in this fic and how that perspective changes over the course of the slow burn is perhaps the greatest strength of the fic.

Throughout much of the fic, Crowley legitimately loves being king. He loves the authority, he loves the power. The fic leans heavily on his cunning and strategic mind, something that canon failed to capitalize on after Crowley became a second-tier member of Team Free Will. While reading, I honestly believed that the author was writing a Crowley that loved the crown and would begrudge giving it up.

But slowly, what he loves about being a king cannot outweigh everything he hates about Hell, demonkind, and what being king costs him.

Very much in line with canon, Crowley gets to a point where he is forced to admit to himself that despite all the perks and benefits, he actually hates being the King of Hell.

He believes he has to keep being king to keep Hell in line and less of a threat – just like in canon. And uses that as a justification, along with love of power, to remain trapped in his own personal hell.

A few aspects of being King of Hell that the fic explores that canon doesn’t include:

The brilliant idea that “Hell chooses who leads it.” Demonic loyalty shifts from an unsuitable leader to a powerful alternative, and when that loyalty shifts, the power of Hell shifts from to that particular demon or Knight of Hell. That’s what gives the king (or queen) of Hell their immense power and legitimizes their authority. Love that idea – it almost makes it like a…demonocracy.

Crowley feels responsible towards the overall protection of demonkind. This is somewhat suggested in canon, such as when Crowley refers to Bobby Singer as being a surge to “his kind.” But it doesn’t have quite the paternalistic quality to it, compared to in the fic when Crowley gets angry that Abaddon is using “his subjects” as cannon fodder against angels. “Yes, they were traitorous, weak-minded prats, but they were still his.”

But the most significant aspect of Hell and demons this fic explores – in my opinion – is how Hell turns souls into demons. Falling Skies delves into Crowley’s own torture on the rack, “he kept seeing flashes – brief, vivid visions, memories” of “blood and laughter and screaming ad begging and pain.”

Souls are strapped to the rack and torn apart, “destroyed brick by brick…violated and torn down” and then, made into a demon, “pieced back together into something else…something evil. Something poisonous and wrong.” This unmaking so as to create from the ruins departs from the idea that a soul caves or gives into to evil in Hell, and instead invests in the idea that it is something done to them, that it is a perversion of everything that they are, which in my opinion is a much more compelling take on demons.

Hell doesn’t only take a soul’s humanity, it takes their memories as well. Crowley references how “his torture in Hell had been enough to erase almost every part of his human life. He honestly only knew the barest details of the man that was Fergus.”

What he does remember is primarily the bad memories, as if Hell intentionally allowed him to hold onto those memories to either fuel his damnation or to discourage him from being nostalgic for his human life.

Much of what Crowley actually feels, even as a demon, is suppressed, “drowned in smoke”, numbing him to his actions and clouding his own thoughts and emotions in Hell’s influence. “He’d never realized how much he’d lost, how much he’d blocked out, how much he hadn’t even thought was worth remembering.”

All of this significantly influenced my own ideas about what it meant to be a demon – to be a semi-cured demon – and Crowley’s existential struggle.

Some smaller, more personal characteristics of Crowley that this fic influenced in my own writing include:

Crowley being a cook, and rolling his eyes at the boys fearing he’s going to poison them

Crowley referring to or thinking of the Winchesters as “his humans” rather than him being “their demon”

Crowley stating in fanfiction long before that final scene in 12x23 that he “always wins”

pointing out how even before the cure, he has carried his own weight in the saving-the-world department. “Who helped you stop the apocalypse? Me. Who helped you take out Castiel when he tried to pay god? Me. Who helped you stop Dick and his cronies? Me! ARE YOU NOTICING A TREND HERE?”

In this fic, Crowley takes a younger meatsuit – the son of his canon meatsuit. Which made me very uncomfortable and felt hypocritical, because by this point, Crowley is very much one of the good guys and should have had qualms about that. But then angelic powers make it possible for Crowley to take that meatsuit and the person is snapped back into existence, whole and unaware, and Crowley is visibly relieved by that. Vessels and meatsuits has always been something that the canon never properly addressed or explored. And while Crowley taking just a younger version of his vessel felt like ageism here, at least the author addressed the moral complications of his choice.

Crowley’s central, guiding concept of redemption and what it means to do the right thing was also established for me in this fic.

He has the chance to murder the demon that tortured him, that led him on his path to damnation. The demon attempts to play the mortality card, telling Crowley to “kill again and blacken your heart even more.” And Crowley, in perfect character, replies “in for a penny, in for a pound.”

Crowley truly believes himself to be beyond redemption, but that he can use his damnation as another resource in the larger fight for what is right. If he’s already damned, no reason to hold back – he can do the ugly, messy things the others can’t, what might even need to be done to secure the win for Team Free Will.

He reflects on his changing perspective of morality, how he thought good and evil were just human concepts that got in way, that people mistakenly draw line between good and evil when really it’s a spectrum that people move up and down all the time.

What he comes to believe in, with his semi-restored humanity, is choices. “That night that Sam had injected him with human blood, that night he’d come close to being saved (or doomed?), he had seen the darkness inside of himself, and he had hated it…there was good and evil within everyone, or at least the potential for it. What mattered was what side you chose, or at least which you chose the most often, which you kept trying to fight your way back to…For the time being, Crowley was not evil. And really, he rather liked that.”

That idea of Crowley fighting his way back to a better version of himself, to his morality and humanity being defined by his choices – that is central to me in Crowley’s character and road to redemption.

Much of Crowley’s relationship with the boys post-cure for me was based on this fic as well.

With the cure coursing through him, seeing Dean as an actual person for the first time.

His professional respect for them morphing into admiration, into protectiveness, because “they tried. And that should count for something, damn it.”

His understanding that the boys’ don’t just use people up – they do so by giving them something to believe in, something to fight for, and letting the cause use them up.

Dean making a deal with the angels to kill the King of Hell, and being unable to go through with it, then choosing to stand between Crowley and the angels.

Crowley recognizing his and Cas’ similarities, discussing with him the benefits and difficulties of being human or semi-human.

He and Cas getting a drink together and sharing their woes.

Cas admitting that his old angelic biases being in the way of seeing before how alike they are.

Crowley and Cas joking that in their team-up, Crowley is Dean and Cas is Sam.

Idea explored in this fic that I loved and want to flesh out in a fic:

Closing the Gates of Hell means all the demons, including Crowley, will be trapped down there forever. And a) Crowley considers or b) the Winchesters consider without telling Crowley - turning him human so that he won’t be trapped down there with demonkind.

A third or even second attempt at the cure might not be possible, or not take full effect.

Turning a soul into a demon takes proper time, that “hurrying the torture, letting out the souls before they’re fully cooked…churning out demons with bits of human still left in them. You’d think it would make them less dangerous, but it just makes them a hell of a lot worse. They’re out of their minds and out of control.”

And I very much appreciated that it referenced the reality that in killing a possessed meatsuit, the boys were killing a victim, a possessed person. That is something that sort of fell away and became an acceptable collateral damage, and never sat very well with me.

Falling Skies also introduced a loyal lackey for Crowley by the name of Laharl who I loved as a character. Crowley very much needed that someone in later seasons.

Castiel attempting to heal Crowley, and him suffering an instinctual fear that the angel intends to smite him.

The boys – and Crowley – struggling with the unwelcome knowledge that if Crowley chooses to become king again, there will come a time when their interests don’t align, and they will have to be enemies again. How much Crowley doesn’t want that, can’t bear the thought he might hurt them again.

I know this is a really long review. And I honestly don’t expect anyone to read it all the way through. I wrote it more for myself than anything. Because, even though there is plenty about the way that I write Crowley that differs from the way this author did, there is also so much here that influenced my understanding of him and his road to redemption. When there was no other fanfiction about Crowley fighting his way out of the dark, about choosing the Winchesters and to be better, there was Falling Skies. And I will always be immensely grateful for that.

Read the fic on AO3

[gayregis]

Question. Part 1. Hi. I like your blog and your analytical analysis of books, which is always very accurate and insightful, so I couldn't find anyone better to ask a question to. I am haunted by the scene where Regis announced to the male part of Hansa that Milva is pregnant. Then there is a dialogue, at the end of which Regis asks Geralt to do something... I felt connected to Jaskier as a character for the first time because I also don't understand what it is about. ->

P2. I asked my friends who had read the books, and their opinions were divided. Some believe that Regis asks Geralt to dissuade Milva from having an abortion, while others, on the contrary, believe that Geralt should persuade her to do it. Or maybe that's not the point at all? Further, my reflections, which may not be relevant to the question... Maybe I'm the only one who noticed a lot of "c*nservative" ideas in books.

P3. We cannot ignore the fact that they were written quite a long time ago and many ideological and cultural aspects of Poland (see the law banning abortion in 2020) that could influence them. It was the 'poll' at the beginning of this scene that made me think of this. Why do men decide whether to give Milva medicament or not? Secondly, Geralt insistently refuses to call it "medicament" but prefers the word "agent."

P4. Secondly, Geralt insistently refuses to call it "medicament" but prefers the word "agent." He also demands that Jaskier shut up when he supports Cahir that "only a woman decides." Pro-life vibes, or is it just me? We also can't ignore the fact that Geralt is very concerned about his infertility.

P5. In general, continuing the theme: very many sorceresses also lament the lack of ability to have children, and all of them, even if they had relationships with women, were always looking for the ONE AND ONLY man. Moreover, the same-sex relationships in the book are only female/female shown, but never male/male (a quick and disdainful mention in "Season of Storms"). But even f / f relationships are presented as some not-serious-play; remember how Ciri called it all "fun," talking with Mistle.

P6. Here again, I see a toxic-masculine culture that sexualizes lesbians and completely denies gays. (This also reminds me of Poland's situation, where the majority of the population is very religious and homophobic.) I was too disappointed by the stereotypical representation of women: hatred because of the same outfits/jewelry, thin waists and small portions (remember how Yen and Fringilla eat), eternal gossip, and so on. I mean, women aren't like that, man.

P7. The toxicity of the presented heterosexual relationships has been said a thousand times before me. In general, I am always a little upset when I see that someone calls Sapkowski such a tolerant writer. According to my observations, toxic masculinity, "conservative" ideas, and strengthening stereotypes about LGBT people, women, etc., often slip into his books. I may be wrong, so I apologize in advance. I would like to hear your opinion. Thanks.

Finally. The scene I was talking about, maybe you need it. ‘What’s this all about then? Unanimity? Total agreement? Is that what you’re expecting?’‘You know very well what it’s about. But since you ask, I shall tell you. Yes, Geralt, that’s precisely what it’s about. And no, it’s no me that's expecting it.’ ‘Could you be clearer?’ ‘No, Dandelion,’ the vampire snapped. ‘I can’t be any clearer. Particularly since there is no need. Right, Geralt?’ ‘Right,’ the Witcher said...

p. s. From the same Anon with a 7-part question. English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. I tried to ask questions as respectfully as possible, but I often confuse English pronouns/times/etc. Please note that it was completely unintentional if I made an offensive mistake, and I deeply apologize. I will correct myself if you point this out to me in your answer. Thanks again.

omg i love this and i’m gonna divide it into different segments to be easier to read. also don’t worry your english is great thank you!!

1) “I asked my friends who had read the books, and their opinions were divided. Some believe that Regis asks Geralt to dissuade Milva from having an abortion, while others, on the contrary, believe that Geralt should persuade her to do it.”

yes, this is a confusing scene. when i first read it i was TOTALLY relating to dandelion, completely confused on what the message was and what the in-universe conversation was about. i had just felt proud of myself for understanding everything regis said in the previous scenes, and now here he was saying something and i didn’t know how the fuck to decipher it. 

but after re-reading and also reading others’ analysis on r/wiedzmin, i found what i think to be the answer. in my opinion, the scene is not about actually either dissuading or persuading milva to have an abortion. rather, it’s about supporting her emotionally so that she can make the right choice for herself. 

regis, as a doctor, wants his patient to make choices with a level head and for her own self, not under pressure to make the strategic choice that would benefit the company the most. this is my interpretation but since regis mentions milva has been a little feisty in consultation (she wouldn’t give him the date of her last period... lol), i feel like he could sense that she was really stressed out about this and although she��initially made the choice to have an abortion, she may not have been thinking for her own self, rather letting the priorities of the company come first before her own wants.

in this moment, geralt realizes exactly why she has come on the journey, he mentions how she was willing to sacrifice her own child for his, etc. so, geralt needs to talk to her in that moment to tell her that he doesn’t expect her to do anything just so she can be more of an “asset” to the company, to tell her that she is his friend first and comrade-in-arms second, because milva is very loyal and also headstrong and would have done anything for geralt and the company. milva in general also wants to be “useful” because she has internalized misogyny from how she was raised, she doesn’t want to be “useless” like she was taught women are ‘supposed’ to be, as is shown in their conversation.

so geralt talks to her and she makes the choice not to have an abortion after all, because after talking to geralt, she doesn’t feel like she has to prioritize geralt’s needs and the company’s needs over what she wants. 

2) “Maybe I'm the only one who noticed a lot of "c*nservative" ideas in books. We cannot ignore the fact that they were written quite a long time ago and many ideological and cultural aspects of Poland (see the law banning abortion in 2020) that could influence them. 

It was the 'poll' at the beginning of this scene that made me think of this. Why do men decide whether to give Milva medicament or not? 

Secondly, Geralt insistently refuses to call it "medicament" but prefers the word "agent."”

He also demands that Jaskier shut up when he supports Cahir that "only a woman decides." Pro-life vibes, or is it just me? 

We also can't ignore the fact that Geralt is very concerned about his infertility.

in my opinion i think the author-intention was to set up a conversation in which a rhetorical question is asked, which will 100% be answered with a resounding positive, a “yes” all around. regis asks the company, because he’s a character so he can be poised as the author wants to propose a question like, “what are your thoughts on abortion,” which allows the rest of the characters to respond “it’s a woman’s right to choose for herself!” in this way, i think that it is very pro-choice... i will agree later on about what you say in other parts of your message, about the conservatism and also centrism in the books, but when it comes to abortion sapkowski imo in the witcher series espoused some pretty pro-choice views. this scene, compounded with the fact that yennefer, the leading female character, performs abortions as part of her job, and also the scene in season of storms with coral and the king of kerack in which he makes a fool of himself in front of her because she assists women with abortions... it’s a topic that’s come up a few times, and all of the times it has been a pro-choice perspective. (again, this is not to say everything in the witcher series is progressive, haha)

in-universe, i suppose you could think of it as that regis was just being coy and asking a rhetorical question also in-universe... such that he was going to give milva the decoction no matter what the men of the company chose, but he just wanted to “ask their opinions” (i.e., tell them what is happening with milva, because it’s a serious subject that needs to be addressed by the company) before, so he could introduce the subject to them (sparing milva of the difficulty of telling them all) and gain their assistance in supporting milva during this time. (random sidenote, but i like how regis acts as a middleground between milva and the rest of the company in this. there are three genders: woman, man, and medical professional. lol). 

so yes, i don’t think that the men of the company actually “get to decide” if milva would have an abortion or not - their opinion’s don’t matter. out-of-universem sapkowski probably just wanted to set up a conversation between his characters where they could espouse explicitly pro-choice opinions (dandelion and cahir practically start arguing over if the northern kingdoms or nilfgaardian empire are more pro-choice). in-universe, this was probably more of a way to bring the subject up rather than actually asking for opinions. 

i think it may look like there are some pro-life opinions shown by geralt in this conversation at first glance, but there might be something deeper. when he tells dandelion to be quiet when he begins to hound him that “only a woman decides,” i think it’s not because he disagrees with that - rather, that he agrees, but that that isn’t the issue here that he needs to deal with. it IS milva’s decision, everyone is in agreement about that - and that’s precisely the problem, because milva is in a vulnerable emotional state and also a precarious physical environment, and these factors could influence her to go through with the abortion, while in “regular circumstance,” if everything were fine and everyone was safe and they weren’t on a quest to save ciri, she might go through with the pregnancy. so, geralt gets annoyed that dandelion tells him this, because he agrees, he already knows! it’s useless to tell him that, because he already agrees with him, what he really needs to do now is move forward with having an emotional talk with milva, which is difficult for him.

i think the “medicament” / “agent” thing is still a little confusing to me, because i don’t know which one has a negative connotation. to me, it’s a medicament, or a medicine, whic is something that cures an ailment, that has a negative connotation, because it kind of refers to the state of being pregnant as a sickness or illness that needs to be cured? an agent is more like a substance that causes a reaction, i think of that of enzymes that speed up chemical reactions in cells, it causes a certain result to happen - which seems more appropriate in my opinion. but yeah i’m not sure which is the “worse word” to use, or if either are “bad words” to use when it comes to this

3) In general, continuing the theme:

Very many sorceresses also lament the lack of ability to have children, and all of them, even if they had relationships with women, were always looking for the ONE AND ONLY man. 

I was too disappointed by the stereotypical representation of women: hatred because of the same outfits/jewelry, thin waists and small portions (remember how Yen and Fringilla eat), eternal gossip, and so on. I mean, women aren't like that, man. 

The toxicity of the presented heterosexual relationships has been said a thousand times before me. 

Moreover, the same-sex relationships in the book are only female/female shown, but never male/male (a quick and disdainful mention in "Season of Storms"). But even f / f relationships are presented as some not-serious-play; remember how Ciri called it all "fun," talking with Mistle. I see a toxic-masculine culture that sexualizes lesbians and completely denies gays. (This also reminds me of Poland's situation, where the majority of the population is very religious and homophobic.)

In general, I am always a little upset when I see that someone calls Sapkowski such a tolerant writer. According to my observations, toxic masculinity, "conservative" ideas, and strengthening stereotypes about LGBT people, women, etc., often slip into his books. I may be wrong, so I apologize in advance. I would like to hear your opinion. Thanks. 

very much agree with all of this. in some circumstances, i think the author-intention was to break stereotypes and tropes - such as fringilla and yennefer speaking about oysters in relation to their ‘diets’ ... but then, they are actually talking about oysters in the context of having to teleport from the castle, they are actually speaking about high-intrigue political alliances, not something as silly as diets... but the effect, to me, is lost, because they led into it acting vapid and speaking about diets anyways, and if they used sarcasm in their voices, it wasn’t strong enough coming through the text in my opinion.

similarly, i think he tried to do some of this trope-breaking with the sorceresses overall, how they are all vapid and obsessed with appearance, but actually are the political masterminds behind everything. although he achieved the latter, he did not manage to have the latter negate the former... the intelligent political talks did nothing to “cancel out” the previously-demonstrated vapidness and obsession with femininity, and the way he describes women overall is something to roll the eyes (and the stomach) at. (“triss’ waist measured ‘22′,” oh give me a break lmfao...)

i also agree that although there are technically gay and lesbian characters in the books, none of them are “good representation” - the only ones i can think of are philippa, mistle, and degerlund (season of storms, which you are right in describing as “disdainful”) - all of these characters are violent, none of them ever are shown having a healthy relationship, and their “love” either ‘corrupts others’ (i use that term semi-lightly) or is part of some political manuever. ciri’s time with mistle is that of a ‘youthful violence,’ it is part of her time with the rats, her time reaching into her worst most hateful depths as a person, and it’s presented as something to “heal from.” and we haven’t even mentioned how mistle assaults her in the beginning of it all. this is largely a post for another time, but it’s not a good situation by any means.

i also get super annoyed for this reason when i see people applauding sapkowski for being a “progressive writer.” in my mind, he is not progressive at all, although he has his character espouse some pro-choice views here and there, that is not nearly enough to make up for the fantasy racism/antisemitism, use of antisemitic caricatures to do trope-reversal on, misogyny to do trope-reversal on, and blatantly just Not Good gay and lesbian characters. 

in my mind, it’s inappropriate to label him as “progressive,” because he was not writing with diversity and representation in mind. i think a lot of people get confused, because they assume, “oh he included women, so he must have been wanting more representation for women!” ... when he was pretty much just writing for writing’s sake... of his own worldview and biases, nothing special when it comes to representation. and i agree that a lot of conservative ideas slip their way into the books, from my perspective he tries to make some centrist milquetoast statements at times (”don’t be neutral in the face of evil” for example) but wraps it up in literally a fantasy pogrom - which is not something imo for a goyische author to put into their stories. his inspirations at times are clear, and he uses them in manners which can come off as blunt and disrespectful.

[handlewithkara]

I know I’ve been radio silent for a kind of unacceptably wrong time, but actually I have been writing. I have even sent stuff off to the beta (1 fluffy established relationship smut, one angsty one night stand and the entirety of “All The Boys I Used to Love”) and I have real hopes about posting them. 

Anyway, I’ve also been thinking a lot about various Karamel things and there are some things I really need to get off my chest. So sorry about long rambling and bad screenshots. 

Mon-El:  You should, uh, know that you deserve the same compassion that you show others.

Kara: I forgive you. 

I think there is a reason why I and I'm sure many other Karamel fans found this moment to be absolutely beautiful. Because even beyond getting to see them on screen together again, getting to see them talk, have a real conversation, a lot of this moment made me want to pump my first and shout "Yes!!! Exactly!". Because there is just so much TRUTH in that statement, in that scene.

This scene also made me want to go back and talk again about the reveal of Mon-El's true identity and Kara's subsequent forgiveness. Now I will be the first to admit I get why some people are unhappy with it and I'm sure there are many Karamel fans who would have welcomed it if it had taken Karamel longer to reconnect after the truth came out. But just because it can be argued that it was rushed or that it wasn't great that the moment of forgiveness happened essentially on another show, I feel like going back and remembering and even defending that nonetheless there were some really good touches in how the storyline of Kara's forgiveness played out.

1.) First I think it has to be acknowledged that Kara is a deeply forgiving person. Something we have seen over and over again, even long before Mon-El entered the scene. I think it is stressed the most in season 1 when Alex is clearly worried that Kara will hate her for taking the life of Astra, one of Kara's few living relatives. And instead Kara completely and unquestionably embraces Alex instead (a moment that I think is very well mirrored in season 5 when Kara doesn't have even an ounce of grudge or hesitancy when Alex lashes out at her after Jeremiah's death). But we have seen this in smaller ways as well, whether it is Kara reaching out to, showing empathy with, connecting to or befriending people, who would be "rivals" in other shows (Lucy), or straight up villains (Leslie, Rhea and Sam/Reign come to mind, to showcase that this attitude is pretty much independant of deservedness). IMO even her clearly seeing past Cat's abrasive or insulting behavior and still seeing the good in her is a clear example of this.

2.) How Kara acted when she found out.

First I want to say: look, Kara knows what it is like to find out that a person you are emotinoally close to lies to you, to find out they were somebody else from what you thought they were and they have been keeping that from you.

And look how she didn't come up with a complex plan to screw Mon-El over and "make him feel the same kind of pain she felt". How she didn't lie to him and pretend to be okay and continue to relationship just so she could stab him in the back, steal from him and carry out a scheme to lobotomize the entire world just because she got hurt.

But I do want to stress, that isn't because she wasn't angry or because she is Kara and as such some kind of benevolent forgiving saint.

The very first scene after she finds out is her having dinner with the Daxamites. And Kara is passive aggressive pissy. And petty. There is this scene where she steers Mon-El into having to fess up and explain himself in front of everybody, something that he is clearly uncomfortable with.

Heck he even vocalizes it. 

Mon-El:  I'd rather not.

Kara:  No, no, Prince, by all means. Please tell us of your heroic escape.

What woud have been the 100% "saintly" reaction? I don't know. Maybe to cry and run off the moment she found out the truth? Or to immediately turn down dinner with the slave owning autocrats? But that's the kind of nuance I love about Kara as a character. Yes, the is good and forgiving and strong and awesome, but she also has a temper and she absolutely can be petty.

But the thing is... Kara's petty phase doesn't last long. By the end of the very same episode, Kara does the sane thing, the fair thing.

She demands an explanation. She cares about the details (”Were you ever gonna tell me the truth?”) She listens to what Mon-El has to say. She is not convinced. 

And she cuts Mon-El out of her life. THAT is the non psychopath thing to do when you are disappointed in somebody. When you think that they will just hurt and disappoint you again and you want to protect yourself.

Kara:  He lied to me about who he really is - for nine months. -  I can't shake it

Kara:  I don't even know who he is anymore.

Kara (about Winn’s girlfriend):  You're just going to forget about it? Aren't you afraid she's gonna hurt you again?

3.) Why Kara forgave him aka The Crossover.

I'm not going to pretend the crossover is perfect. There are many things worth criticiziing, whether it's from a meta level (was it a good idea that Karamel making up took place on a different show? should the focus have been more on Westallen?) to a structural one (the conflict Westallen have doesn't really match the conflict Karamel have all that well, nor does the problem of "Tommy" from the music world have that much in common with the real Mon-El, Musicmeister's action are really random and lack motivation). But going back to it I wanted to talk about it on a pure character level. Namely: What is the reason Kara forgives Mon-El? What motivates her?

Is it Musicmeister reminding her that she luuuves Mon-El, is it just because Musicmeister says so, is it jealousy, is it because she doesn't want to be single again, is it Mon-El having a good explanation, is it her being touched that Mon-El followed her, is it that she came close to dying?

No.

To me it is pretty clear that the focal point of the episode is this one.

Kara:  I think you're being a little tough on your son. [...] it's obvious why he didn't tell you right away. I mean, look at the way you're reacting. Maybe if you just listen and and hear his reasons and try to see things from his point of view maybe maybe you'd understand why he didn't tell you before now.

And that's why Mon-El's words about Kara's compassion for others ring so true. Because this is at the heart for why Kara re-embraced Mon-El. She gained some distance, looked at the situation from a different perspective and started thinking about it differently. Kara put herself in Mon-El's shoes and came to a conclusion about how he felt about the whole situation. That's why at the core of Kara's forgiveness is empathy and compassion.

Mon-El's motivations didn't change. They are still really sucky reasons. But Kara put herself in his shoes and empathized with him anyway and had compassion. All things she said are still valid, that she didn't deserve to be lied to, that Mon-El didn't give her a chance to react.

And that's why it felt so good when in s5 when Kara regained her spine, she stresses this. That her motivations do matter (and mind: Kara did listen to Mon-El's motivation and she did care about the details even before Musicmeister entered the scene). That the compassionate thing would have been to care about why Kara did it. Because when she shoe was on the other foot, that is exactly what Kara was willing to do. To first listen to Mon-El's explanation and then put herself in his shoes and empathize with how he got there and have compassion for him as a flawed person. Who did screw up but Kara is pretty damn bighearted. And that's why she rocks.

4.) So Mon-El's lie = Kara's lie?

So was Mon-El's lie about his identity basically the same thing as Kara's lie about her identity? I don't think so. I think there are both aspects that make it worse and aspects that make it better.

First the obvious one:

When Kara lies about Supergirl (or when Alex lied about working for the DEO), she is not lying about a morally bad thing. She is lying about a morally good thing. There is nothing morally reprehensible to most people about saving others or working to protect others.

By comparison, being the Prince of Daxam isn't just something many people would find morally objectionable as long as they knew the details of it (imo picture it less as fairy tale prince and more like "actually my dad is Saddam Hussein/Bashar Al Assad/Kim Jong Un"), it's also something that Mon-El specifically knew Kara disapproved of.

So regardless of whether one agrees with that Kara's blanket dislike of "The Prince" was justified, Mon-El knew that she had a strong opinion on this and hence knowing about this aspect of his life would be something she would reasonably want to know about, care about and it might have a big influence on her opinion on him.

Secondly, after the nature of what Mon-El is lying about, there is the is the aspect of motivation. Let me stress once more that the story has made it clear that motivation is something Kara does care about. That's why she cared about asking Mon-El to explain himself (after some encouragement from Alex and Winn). it’s what Mon-El talks about in 100, that Kara’s motivation matters and that's why in season 5 when she puts her foot down she makes it clear that her motives to lie do matter. 

And the thing is: Mon-El doesn't have a good explanation for it. There is no "well the government told me to" or "I did it for personal safety or to protect the safety of others", no "I lied becasue I was trying to save the life of my bother", no "well if I told the truth our parents would start a mob war", there is only "I was lying, but I wished it was true" and "I was worried about what your reaction would be". (let me note here: I actually like that about the story, that there is little attempt of the story to muddle the waters here and justify it. Mon-El screwed up, Mon-El is contrite, Kara is willing to give forgiveness despite there not being any excusing additional aspects).

So far, so reprehensible, right?

Well to me there is one thing that makes Mon-El's lie about his identity different than Kara's lie about being Supergirl/an alien, that I think has a meaningful influence on why Kara was willing to forgive and embrace. At this point in the story, "being the prince of Daxam" wasn't really an active part of Mon-El's life. It was part of his past.

Yes we can discuss whether you can ever truly shake off that kind of privilege or what you were taught, but the base point of it is that Mon-El didn't really lead a double life with Kara. He didn't pretend to be the perfect little boyfriend with her and then turned around and snuck off to lead a life of Daxamite privilege and decadence. When he said he was going to work, he really went to work. He had no access to that life of privilege anymore and he made no moves to regain it. All the things that Kara cared about: his feelings for her, him being flawed but trying to be better were still very much there (Alex: “Maybe he's just a guy who's ashamed of his past, and he's looking for a fresh start.”). 

Similarly, all the flaws that Kara might associate with being the prince (like promiscuity, laziness, cowardice) were still visible and present in Mon-El before she knew he was the prince.  

When Mon-El lied about his idenity, he lied about a part of himself that he at the very least had mixed feelings about and eventually grew to actively dislike and try to get rid off. A part of himself he didn't actively engage in and that he eventually went to great lengths to reject.

By comparison when Kara hides that part of herself, she hides something about herself that still very much takes up large chunks of her time, that is very meaningful to her and that she has every intention of carrying on, of keeping up.

Mon-El lied about his past, Kara lied about her present. That's why I think if somebody dealing with Kara found about Supergirl, they could reasonably say "Wow, I feel like I only know like 50%" of you. While with Mon-El, with the kind of insight Kara had into him at that point, finding out that he used to be the prince of Daxam is a lot more like "Wow, I feel like I only know 90%" of you.

That's why I think that upon realizing that, considering Kara's general attitude towards forgiveness and considering that she knew, felt and believed about Mon-El it was reasonable that she came to the conclusion that their relationship was worth preserving, at least for now/while she was still evaluating him and seeing how he would behave in the future, in regards to her, his parents and heroism. It was still a leap of faith of her to do that, but considering what we know of Kara's personality, I think it makes sense that she is the kind of person who would make this leap of faith.

So to recap, the top reasons why it made sense that Kara forgave Mon-El:

1.) Kara has shown over and over again that she's a very forgiving person whether people deserve it or not

2.) Kara herself has also lied to/deceived people she liked or cared about her identity (ie Cat, Lena). AND she has also previously been lied to by people she cares about about having a whole other identity (Alex). Because of this Kara imo clearly and staunchy believes that a lie about one's identity does not invalidate the connection you have with a person, it doesn't mean that it invalidates the interactions you have with them or that you don't really care abuot them, that the relationship you have with them isn't real.

Obviously Kara still considers herself a friend to the people she didn't let in on her secret and obviously Kara thought that her relationship with Alex was more meaningful than the fact that Alex had a secret second job.

3.) The encounter with Musicmeister above all stressed empathy, namely Kara relating to Mon-El and how he probably felt.

4.) In the end, Mon-El's lie was fundamentally about the past, it in retrospect didn't really have that much to do with what Mon-El was at this point and with what he was inside Karamel's relationship. It's pretty clear to me that at that point Mon-El had already emotionally seperated himself from his role as the prince and from his parents.

I believe that Kara sensed that and put trust and faith in that and she ended up being proven right about that (Kara: ”we found a connection.Through the kindness in our hearts”)”. If you look at the scene where she breaks up with him, imo she doesn't get hung up on the lie, but she does lose faith, she worries that longterm Mon-El won't have the moral fortitude to be a hero or a good boyfriend. ("You just want things to be easy, Mon-El. But being a hero and falling in love, those are not easy things. They're hard and they're messy. And they hurt sometimes.") This is what matters to her, whether he will have the strength of character to stick with being a hero. 

Mon-El refused to rejoin his parents, essentially cut them off, staying away from them even beyond what Kara expected or wanted (Kara clearly was supportive of Mon-El reconnecting with them as his parents), to the extent that was wiling to support Kara and stand by as Kara kills his mother and unleashesh a dangerous attack on the rest of his people, is willing to join the fight against them and even after being split from Kara shows no signs of returning to his life as a prince.

It's pretty clear to me that Mon-El basically cut off that part of his life,  that at that point it wasn't an active part of his life anymore and that in the future he did everything to minimize that part of himself (compared to Supergirl being a sizable, ongoing part of Kara's life that is important to her and that she intends to carry on in the future).

That doesn't mean that his lie wasn't a big deal or that Kara had no right to be mad about it, but I do think it lends some believable weight to why Kara was willing to take the plunge and accept him.

Again, this is a character aspect we have seen many times in Kara, that she is willing to encourage and embrace people to turn their life around, even if they have gone pretty damn far into their road to villainy (again, Livewire, Rhea).

One last thing I want to say, I have read people claim that they found it "out of character" that Mon-El became a good and attentive boyfriend after this experience. I personally always read this as a clear and natural progression. This event of Kara's forgiveness imo clearly left a big impression on Mon-El. He didn't just almost lose her, I think he also truly got that Kara not just forgiving him but being willing to re-embrace him and give him the benefit of the doubt was a big. fucking. deal and that probably the vast majority of people in her position wouldn't have done it. So it makes sense to me that he was on his best behavior and eager to show both his gratitude and she wasn't wrong to gift him that.

Conclusion: Kara is a kickass awesome person and character and the story of her forgiving Mon-El is more nuanced than people give it credit for

[sugar-petals]

Please do a tarot reading on bts personality? Thank you

if we’re talking personality, it’s time for the big guns. i promised i’d use this deck to an anon, today we’re doing a shaman soul reading. 

Jungkook: THE RAINBOW

A sign that the end of the storm is near. This card is truly blessed and imbued with great innocence because that’s exactly what Jungkook is. It’s the “everything is alright” signal: The rainbow symbolizes completion of the soul in the Himalayan region where shamans consider rainbows a bridge to the afterlife. Believe it or not: What we see as JK is the last incarnation of his line. His journey is basically complete (!), it is whole. He’s found what we will all find and the end which is a state of profound happiness. There’s a reason why he brings so much ease, fun, and talent everywhere he goes. That sense of lightness and positivity is deeply embedded in him. Brightness, bubbliness, fleeting moods but always optimistic. His personality is all about joy and the feeling of soaring high. It’s not a farce we see on camera, he really is like that. What I noticed is. Since we see a colorful bird dashing forward on a ray of light, I believe JK is headed somewhere blissful, and he’s headed there fast. The pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, pretty much. Not just the shamans in Nepal consider the rainbow as an arch, Norse ones do, too. The Bifröst bridge connects Midgard to the Æsir. Jungkook has a sort of divine connection going on. That’s why his personality is dignified. Bifröst is translated to ‘shimmering path’, that he got famous was destined from the beginning.

Hoseok: THE SWEAT LODGE

Hey, Mama. I am not surprised that this card is all about a connection to mother earth and all things maternal. The hut — and the ritual that is behind it — is essentially an image for the womb. Hoseok is looking for that warm and cozy feeling in his life. That tells you a whole lot about the personality we rarely see on stage, it’s a much calmer state. The act of sweating disperses old habits and bad thoughts, this is precisely what he seeks. That blissful, protected place/state of being attracts him, or rather, draws him back into his past. His character is so youthful and cheery because he longs for a space like the sweat lodge that leaves you relaxed, drained from the weight of the world, and without sorrows. What he longs for is purity. He’s let go of demons and phases in his life he’s grown out of. His goal is to feel renewed and being without baggage. Note also that the sweat lodge is a community place. He is deeply social, it’s not an act. Hoseok aspires to be a nurturing figure in the future, and peace is very important to him.

Jin: TAMING THE WIND

Think about it: Something as dynamic as air representing Jin makes a lot of sense. He might be a fire sign, but air is nonetheless strong in him. He is a person who is self-directed and cannot be grasped at any time. Air does what it wants, and few other forces can stop it. On top of that, wind is malleable. It can be completely still, gently blowing, come on strong, or be a flat out hurricane. The different levels of intensity are all present in Jin’s character. As in, he can be the introvert of all introverts only to turn into extroversion embodied. The card tells us about just how versatile he can be. That he will achieve more consistency in the future is represented by the act of taming: Yes, he will settle. Visually, the feather is the most important part of this card. It symbolizes a holy dedication to life and distributes smoke during shaman rituals. It can also be interpreted as a pointer when you’re in alignment. So, I’d describe Jin’s character as something that dispels the old to bring about harmony. Thus, he is wild and tame alike. Very interesting duality.

Namjoon: THUNDER

Next to Jimin’s card, this is the most powerful one I pulled. If you’re familiar with The Tower in tarot, THUNDER is similar. Especially in its spiritual weight. Thunder always hails of new things coming. Namjoon is that kind of vanguard. Even his voice booms like thunder man, that’s no coincidence. That he’s the leader of one of the most famous boy groups on this planet means something dramatic and big coming our way. At his core, he is revolutionary. Namjoon is Namjoon because of his message that’s loud, terrifying to great many a hater, and a call to awakening. I am certain he is on his way to enlightenment, I’m not kidding. Because think about, thunder comes first, then: lightning. It describes his personality progression well: Namjoon did a full 180° in the last years. He did all of his shadow work. This card always says a person is about to fulfill their purpose, so he’s currently at the very brink. He is scared to the core but knows that he’s destined for great things. Like buffalos storming ahead, he is unstoppable just like that. It’s because of him that the game changes 😊

Yoongi: THE PRESENT

Beside the literal interpretation of Yoongi being a present to this world which truly is the case, this card also means unconditional offering in a general sense. You’d think it’s his wonderful music that he has gifted us. The meaning of the card says otherwise, things go deeper, it’s about something that is not material in nature. Only true love and true feelings can fully belong to a person and they can give them as a present. I think this is what Yoongi’s personality at its deepest level is about. He is a generous man. Who is more giving than someone so dedicated and full of tender emotions. The card is also a signifier of gratitude, and I think Yoongi truly is thankful. The winged woman shown on the card lifts up the sun, which tells me Yoongi wants to uphold joy and that he was sent to us as an angelic, radiant being. Lil’ cherub he is. The card is colored in such a bright yellow and orange way, I think he could be a kind of light worker, even, if you’re familiar with this concept. What Yoongi’s aim is at its most basic level is to gain access to the happiness of life. And he wishes so dearly we experience it, too. I need a moment.

Jimin: THE INCA CROSS

Ooof. Oh shit. This card is a massive fucking deal. I’m stunned every time I see it. It has a huge wtf factor. A simple but overarching symbol. To shamans, the Inca Cross symbolizes all directions and dimensions coming together. It even connects the Underworld with the Gods themselves. It also has a hole in the middle, allowing us to travel to a different perspective. It tells me Jimin is the one holding everything around him together with his personality. He is that cross, a compass basically. He has access to greater wisdom. The Inca Cross is a big leap, this is what Jimin essentially is. What he exudes propels us forward and unites us. He can make people change their mind and direction in life. He is only halfway aware of that skill. I wouldn’t mess with him either way, he is the true axis of Bangtan. The crucial (=cross-like!) one, even Namjoon said that. Now what’s also important is not just the cross itself but also the color. It is made of solid gold, a very warm tone. His charm and soothing character is innate to Jimin, and that is a regal feat. It’s very important that he knows his worth, that is the crux —cross— of the matter. Now this is where it gets really metaphysical: That the Inca Cross bridges the lower, middle (Human), and upper realm to shamans in Peru is no coincidence. It tells us Jimin was sent from a place that is not this, aka the middle world. I think even people who are not into spirituality can feel that. He is either a saved soul from the Underworld so this is his first incarnation after a long time or he was sent from the Gods. Because the cross connects all worlds, it could even be both at the same time. And since the Inca Cross allows dimension and time travel (!)… maybe he can do even that. This card is telling me the wildest shit.

Taehyung: HEART OF SKY

During the last tarot readings I drew The Empress for him several times, the energy is no different here. This card has Queen of the Night type of imagery. It’s a very dreamy, whimsical woman immersed in melancholy, dressed in lavish garments. It’s not hard to see the parallel to Taehyung’s character. He is just as nostalgic and concerned with all things that bring more beauty to this planet. That is his purpose. I repeat: Taehyung is here to spread the fine things in life to bring us sophistication and wholesomeness. The Heart of Sky is quite possibly the card most connected to creativity and love. It encourages the one receiving it to paint. We know he’s already an artist at heart, the shaman cards know it, too. Heart of Sky means to pour out your emotions. And to show all your talents in a gorgeous way. The card is just… spot on. Nighttime plays an important role in this illustration, Tae is more Moon than Sun in personality. He’s in tune not just with his divine masculine, but also feminine. Perfect balance. The Heart of Sky carries with it a strong ethical component also, that means Taehyung is figuring out his intent very often. He’s a benevolent person, a creator. A good person, a benevolent heart. He wants the best for everyone, you and me, anybody.

Bangtan: THE SUN 

I also pulled a card for the personality of the group as a sum. THE SUN is pretty straightforward: BTS are luminaries, a figurative giant. A super-star. Shamans connect the sun to male energy so the allegory fits, there’s a bright and positive masculine quality in their work. BTS are a hot topic and the energy is high. Sometimes even overpowered because their solar pizzazz is so ardent — burning out is the #1 danger here. That’s why the members connected to the moon and night (Joon, Tae, Yoongi, to some extent Jimin) are so important to balance everything. Passion, humor, creativity, playfulness are always around when BTS is near. The sun is at the center or the universe and widely seen, the group indeed takes that center spot right now. Many other life forms depend on the sun, revolve around it, BTS and their light are needed. If they fall, a system collapses. The card tells us they are currently at their zenith, truly radiant now, soaring like the winged spirit on the card. Also, to state the obvious: Come on, who’s the sun of BTS? Hobi’s personality sticks out the most, reflects back to the group dynamic. This is his card and time to shine. He makes or breaks the deal and the cards know it. He sets the tone.

bighit: THE JAGUAR

I wanted to see what the personality of bighit as a whole is, too. Unsurprisingly — what came out is an animal who’s a roaring force to be reckoned with. The energy is a lot more competitive and serious compared to The Sun. I find it convincing and see why these cards came out: Lighthearted group, big business company. Now, the Jaguar has a dark side as well as extreme advantages. He sure doesn’t look like the scariest animal ever, but being on top of the food chain allows him to do whatever he pleases: He’ll never be prey. On the other hand, he is protected because he’s so strong. Bighit does have that quality of being untouchable. Much like the jaguar, it’s an undertaking that operated in the shadows for long. We know that Bang PD claims to have the secret success formula and isn’t as public as say Lee Soo Man and JYP. There is a component of mystery, and the other companies are careful because of it. On the light side, BTS certainly have powerful and rational guidance. To give an analogy from the jungle book: Bighit is like Bagheera, the voice of reason, infusing BTS with strength and knowledge.

if you like my readings, support your local tiger on ko-fi 🐅

[goodfish-bowl]

Snippet 1: Alone

Here is the Vlad Snippet for Dead to the World. Snippets will typically be shorter than 2k words and in one perspective.  

Can also be found here. 

                  Vladimir Masters knew an opportunity when he saw one and knew better than to let one pass him by. He had been meaning to reconnect with his (former) college “friends” in recent time, either way. He was going to plan a “college reunion”, but then, of course, there had been a sudden change, and not all change is bad. While the nature of the event was surely tragic, the opportunity it presented was not. In fact, it was one of the best things to happen to him personally in a long while. When Maddie’s son passed in a heartbreaking accident, Vlad’s only thought had been that he should be there to support her, and he pushed his long-schemed plan ahead of schedule by months. With Maddie in the fragile state she most surely was in, he would be able to sweep her into his arms, and away from Jack’s with much less hassle than his original plan.

               Vlad’s new plan was simple enough compared to his old one. He would show up, and offer Maddie much needed consolation and support, help her through this trying event, and somehow twist it so that the boy’s death would have been Jack’s fault. Nothing was more powerful than a mother’s love, after all, and such a thing would drive Jack far off, and Vlad that much closer to what his heart desired. He would hardly have to do much of it himself, if everything went swimmingly. Maddie would realize his feelings for her, and she would return them. Then he would have her to himself, and he would finally be complete.

               When Vlad heard how the boy, Daniel, he believed had been his name, had died, he almost burst out laughing at the irony of it all. A portal. The boy had died inside of a ghost portal, electrocuted to death. He almost found it hilarious that a portal had killed Jack’s son due to his mistakes. They had found several obvious, exposed electrical problems inside the portal that had been the exact cause of death for young Daniel, a mistake Vlad knew Maddie would never make. Jack had not only killed his (former) best friend, but his own son, using the same damn thing no less. Vlad wonder if this was some sort of karma inflicted onto Jack for what he had done to him so many years prior, and only wished it hadn’t affected Maddie so deeply as well. The jumpsuit-clad buffoon had had it coming.

               But, something about the whole thing bothered Vlad, a gut feeling. No, it was something in his core, not his gut. But it was impossible, the boy was dead as a doornail, he hadn’t survived, and surely wouldn’t become what he was, despite the similarity in their cases. There was a much higher chance of the boy becoming a full ghost, especially since he had died inside the portal, than becoming a half-ghost. The boy had crossed over too-completely for Vlad to have that vain sense of hope his core insisted on feeling, that he would no longer be alone. Vlad would no longer be alone once he had Maddie, he reasoned.  She would accept him and love him, completely, even if not at first, she would eventually. Then he would finally feel complete. But it tugged insistently, hopelessly hoping that the boy would come back. It would sooth Maddie, he supposed in a way, if her son somehow survived his period beyond the veil, and he could still continue to drive it between her and Jack, since the boy, Daniel, would no longer be alive either.

               Vlad spent the next two days helping Maddie where and whenever he could. He had never met either of Maddie’s children before now, so he wasn’t expected to make a speech at this event, a rare thing for the CEO. Jazz was pleasant enough in her grief-stricken state. Smart, almost frighteningly so, but he’d expect no less from Maddie’s daughter. The only traits of Jack she exhibited would be her own fixation on psychology and her tendency to be easily distracted. Thankfully, there was little resemblance otherwise, and he was keen to dote on the girl to gain Maddie’s affections. He spent a comparable amount of money on flowers, paid for the hall where the funeral would be held, and even covered the cost of the grave site where Daniel would be buried after the funeral. He didn’t know what kind of flowers Maddie liked, something he definitely should know, so he bought them all, and had them arranged into a draping arrangement to be displayed on the casket. He was sure she appreciated the sentiment without knowing its full purpose.

               Vlad was extremely careful on the day of the funeral, as he soothed Maddie. He had to be careful what words he said and even how and where he stepped. He had to make sure not to insult or aggravate her in her fragile state, less she turned on him instead of her own husband. He decided he wouldn’t drive her and Jack apart just yet, not until she had at least partially recovered from her grief, it would be easier then than it would be now. If those 20 years locked away taught him anything, it was patience. He wore an expensive, yet strikingly simple, black suit to the funeral. Maddie was the star of it all, all eyes should be on her, not him, for once. He was in awe of her the entire time, clinging to her every word and action, how the black dress she wore clung to her frame in a modest, yet oh so thought-provoking way, at least to him.

           Vlad was surprised when he actually recognized one of the attendees, the Mansons. They were a rich, influential, and well-connected family, and liked to isolate themselves to the higher-class circles, so he was genuinely surprised to find them here. Their daughter, whom he had never had the displeasure of meeting, was apparently a close friend of Daniel’s and he could appreciate the eloquence of the dress she wore. Vlad didn’t even give the Mansons a second glance.

               Vlad was fixated on Maddie’s opening speech about her son and ached a bit inside. He couldn’t tell if it was his core or his cold, lonesome heart that clenched at the near-visible pain Maddie was in, but it tugged at his heartstrings all the same. She spoke of memories she had with Daniel, some embarrassing and heartfelt others near tragic, as she recalled how he grew up. Vlad watched her stave off tears with all her strength as she trudged on and his love for her only grew. He barely heard the words she was speaking, but he clung to every single one of them.

               Then, of all the damnest things, his core burst out, burning him internally, another ghost was nearby. Small and weak, but it was there all the same. He glanced around, bitter to have his attention torn away from Maddie, but this was important. Ghosts knew not to bother him as Masters. He swiveled his head around, careful to be subtle in his sudden change of focus. He couldn’t spot anything, but there was a ghost nearby, very nearby, but where?  

               It was quiet, muffled, inaudible to all but him. Cries for help and banging on wood, desperate and pleading, and weakening by the second. They were coming from the casket.

               Vlad hated what he did in that moment, the confused stares and shouts of anguish and then horror that had been directed at him, Maddie had shouted at him. It was basically sacrilege, what he had done, but it had to be done, he physically couldn’t have done anything else, consequences be damned. He had no choice.  

               Vlad threw up the front lid of the casket, something no one else have been able to do, since the casket had been effectively locked, and the lid too heavy to be lifted with one arm, let alone flung open. The hinges creaked then snapped as the lid fell against them and the top half of the casket slammed into the floor behind the alter, but he could care less. He ignored how the sounds behind him suddenly shifted from outrage to unnerving silence. Vlad, carefully as he could, picked up the shivering, panicking boy inside.

               The boy was near hysterics himself, pupils blow wide, breathing erratic. But his eyes, oh his eyes, they glowed that same toxic, unmistakable green that the Ghost Zone did, the green glow of ectoplasm. Vlad could even feel the thrum of ectoenergy in the boy as he picked him up, dragging him into a sitting position. Daniel was weak, like a struggling kitten, as he strained against Vlad to see what was going on, the green in his eyes flickered out. Vlad hardly remembered to breathe as his mind confirmed what his core already had known.  

               Daniel Fenton had come back to life three days after his death, but that hadn’t mattered to Vlad then. No, the only thing that mattered when Vlad had picked up the distressed teen was that he was no longer alone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

While I like this, I feel like it really wouldn’t have worked well in the original, since it really doesn’t hold the importance other than showing what Vlad is up to, which I really didn’t want to do in the original as well. 

[justkindaoverhereobsessing]

2020 IN WRITING

tagged by: @indestinatus​

tagging: no one, because I am unable to think straight. But whoever is interested in doing this: I’m interested in reading it. <3 

Wow, okay, I’m getting real in this little questionnaire... read at your own risk, friends.

1. List of works published this year:

I genuinely can’t write them all out here... there are too many of them! (I’ve done so little besides writing this year!) But I keep a running list of all my projects here. I’m sorry for cheating on this one, haha. 

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

This question comes up a lot on these things, and I always put the same answer: That We May Forgive. It’s has emotional moments, silly moments, heartfelt moments where the warmth made me cry as I wrote. It was written in one sitting, and it’s the story where I felt most connected to the characters I love so much. It sums up the joy I feel knowing that these (fictional) friends of mine have finally reached peace after too many years of trauma and hardship. I began the story with a single line in mind, after which the characters took over and told the story for me:

Ziva's second pregnancy is nothing like her first.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

You Stumble, You Soar, which was written for one of my dearest friends in the world, @why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee​. I wanted to do so much better by her, but as I ran out of time to complete the story by the end of her birthday, I rushed the writing and I think the story suffered for it. It made her happy, though, and that’s the most important thing. She deserves all the happiness, all the time��but especially on her birthday. 

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

I can’t think of a favorite excerpt of my writing, because I’ve written so much that I can’t think back!

5. Share or describe a favorite review you received:

“Wow. Let me just tell you that I am absolutely in love with this story. I wake up everyday and, as I log into fanfiction, my only hope is that you've uploaded a new chapter because DAMN. The characters are so well written, the story is beautifully constructed and this last chapter just broke my heart into tiny little pieces. What a remarkable job you've done. Please, don't ever stop writing NCIS/Tiva fanfiction- specially this one story: it's one of my all time favorites. Thank you :)”

An incredibly kind and inspiring comment by a reader named Alexandra on my longest (WIP) fic, We Are an Ocean.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

I’ve had two periods of NCIS hiatus this year—and actually, I’m still in the midst of the second one right now. These have periods of turmoil in my own life. When I’m upset, feeling sick, feeling sorry for myself and I’m depressed and aching... that’s when I write the best, because writing is my safety blanket. When I’m feeling numb, though, or lost... the characters are lost to me, too, and so are the words I use to wrap them (and myself) in comfort.

7. A scene or character you wrote that surprised you:

I’m going to deviate here from NCIS, which is—I’m well aware—why most of my followers have chosen to follow me. But in the last month, I’ve written a single fic for Criminal Minds—it’s called In Possibility, it’s unpublished, and it’s now over 100,00 words. It’s centered on Spencer Reid, who was intimidating to me when I started writing the fic. He’s far more intelligent than I am, requiring me to do a lot of research to give him realistic lines, he’s a deep and complicated character with complicated motivations and a tangled, traumatic past. He also has a sweet, really good heart that’s been scarred by years of difficult work and an emotionally taxing personal life. 

I thought he’d be difficult to write; to my surprise, he comes as naturally to me as any of my other favorite characters ever have. He gave me my first nanowrimo win! To be frank, he’s gotten me through a lot of shit this year. That was the best surprise.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

To be honest, I wasn’t much of a writer before this year. I enjoyed writing, especially in a roleplay setting with fandom friends... but I deeply struggled with trying to write alone. I didn’t do much of it.

Then, this year, well... the concept of writing exploded into the most important distraction, escape, and joy I could imagine. 

I didn’t grow as a writer this year. I became a writer this year.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

My most recent project—the one that, as I’ve said, is (and will remain) unpublished—has given me a new perspective. It’s written for an audience of me and only me... so I’ve given myself permission to engage in the most ridiculously self-indulgent writing I’ve ever embraced and thrown myself into. 

And it has been the greatest joy I could imagine in a time of great pain.* 

Next year, I want to throw myself into every project I work on with as much reckless abandon as I’ve done in this last project. I want to stop worrying so much about what people will think and pursue the words that are bursting out of the fingers on my laptop keyboard. I want to have confidence in my ability to draw out emotions—if from no one else, at least from myself.

“If I can stop one heart from breaking, I shall not live in vain.” —Emily Dickinson

And it’s alright if that one heart is mine.

That’s what I want to accomplish in my writing next year, and what a growth that would be!

* I’ve mentioned this in my last post, but I’m recovering from brain surgery, I also have the COVID-19 virus, and I’m working on passing a kidney stone that may be too big to pass. I’m writing 10,000 words a day to get through it—and it’s working. Distraction is everything to me right now.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

Like Sof, I have to tag three people here, because I really couldn’t choose just one. My three best friends in the world all influenced my writing in their own ways! <3 (Sorry for deviating a little from the writing thing in some of the following lines, oops. I just have emotions that are all over the place this week!)

@indestinatus — One of a few best friends who has had my back every day for so long now. She listens when I need to talk things out—whether or not I’m talking about writing. She really gets me when I need to be silly, or I need to be serious, or I just really, really need a friend. Also, she inspired me to start learning Portuguese this year, and I’m actually practicing by writing a fic in Portuguese, lol. It’s slow going... but Sof encourages me (and corrects me, haha) whenever I work on it, just as she does with absolutely anything else I work on. Truly, I’ve had few friends in my life that are so special to me, and I love her. I really do. 

@why-did-you-just-lie-to-mcgee — Is there a better cheerleader on this earth? Is there a better friend? Doubtful on both counts. She thinks I’m a disaster—and, by the way, she’s absolutely right—and she sometimes has to remind me to eat and sleep, but she’s totally cool with being my internet mom. Doesn’t matter that she’s nearly a decade younger than I am, lol. All of these things have bolstered me when the writer inside of me has faltered, and she has carried my burdens as I wrote them out. Anyway, she reads everything I write, and she has requested to gain access to all of my unfinished chapters and unpublished works in the event that I die—I completely trust her with that nonsense. I’ve written it into my will. Really. Like with Sof, I genuinely love Tiz, and I’d do anything for her. 

@honeybadgerdocare — Best friend of 20 years. She doesn’t watch the same shows that I do, and my endless ranting makes very little sense to her... but she listens. She’s my sounding board for everything I write, everything I read, everything I watch, and everything that gives me big feelings. I genuinely can’t describe how much she has helped me with my writing every single day, so I’ll leave it at this: I could not do it without her. I’d drown in my own struggles and I’d stop creating the art that sustains me. She’s my soulmate—sorry to her fiancé. All of my love goes to her!

11. Anything from your real life show up in your writing this year:

HAHAHAHAHA it’s cute how you think my writing is anything other than a re-organized and fictionalized version of my life and my feelings. Real life shows up in my writing, and my writing shows up in my real life. It gets crazy and obsessive, but like... I had a trip to Israel booked this year (obviously canceled due to the pandemic, but still) because Ziva comes from Israel. (Also because of my Jewish adoration for the spiritual homeland, but the thought of going and the trip planning all started with Ziva.) I went to Baltimore so I could run down an alley yelling “YOU CAN’T OUTRUN ME, I’M WEARING TUBE SOCKS!” to encourage my inner Tony DiNozzo. I nearly froze to death in Washington, D.C. and called my mom every time I saw a little red mini coop that looked like Ziva’s, or came across a place that was featured in an NCIS scene.

And to answer the actual question here, because I obviously flipped it around like the moron I am... when the pandemic canceled things I was desperately looking forward to, I wrote a fic where Tali’s excitedly anticipated dance recital got canceled because of the pandemic. I lost my appendix (last year, but the fic was written this year — does that count?) and wrote a fic where Tali loses hers, too. (I swear, I don’t always write things that torture Tali, lol, these are just my best examples!) When I lost a couple of loved ones this year, I wrote a funeral scene where Tony and Tali remembered Ziva. Writing is definitely free therapy, y’all.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

Write for yourself—write what you love, and you’ll love what you write. That’s all. That’s it. That’s my advice, something I’ve learned this year.

13. Any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

I’ve been working on We Are an Ocean for roughly a year now, and 2021 needs to see it finished. I’ve got a number of lovely, dedicated readers who deserve to see the story play out as it’s intended to be played out. 

Also, my greatest love right now, In Possibility, will probably write itself to an end in 2021. Or... who knows? Maybe it will worm its way into 2022, too. :-)

14. If you could recommend only one work from yourself published this year:

Since I already went into detail about my favorite fic of mine from this year (That We May Forgive), I’ll recommend a different one: The Stars Always Make Me Laugh. It has some of the darkest moments I’ve ever written, but it also has some of the lightest moments I’ve ever written. It was an answer to two different challenges, and if I can say this without sounding arrogant, I think I met the challenges beautifully. It gave me comfort, catharsis, and closure for a few things in my own life... and I hope it comforts my readers, too. 

15. Year word count: 

HOLY FUCKING SHIT (excuse my French). I just added up my AO3 word count + my current unpublished project, and... my word count is:

428,557.

FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY-EIGHT THOUSAND, FIVE HUNDRED AND FIFTY SEVEN WORDS

I nearly just fell out of my chair. Goodbye, friends. I am deceased.

[bramblepatch]

The Magnus Archives cast (or at least everyone I can remember who's still alive at the end of S4) ranked by how likely I think they are to survive season 5:

Jonelias Magnechard: Local Avatar Of The Eye Ruins Everyone Else's Doomsday Plans By Cultivating Super-Archivist Who Hates His Guts. Get Rekt Jonah. 0/10 chance of survival.

Julia Montauk: I don't think Julia remembers what a sense of perspective is. I also don't think she realizes that the easily-kidnapped weirdo she's been after for a while had not fully come into his power as an Avatar last time she tried to stab him. She's not likely to stop until something stops her, and that thing is not going to be a well-reasoned argument. 1/10 chance of survival.

Trevor Herbert: Trevor's chances would be a lot better if he wasn't currently babysitting Julia, honestly. He's proven capable of caution and pacing himself in the past, but that doesn't do him much good when he's backing her up. 2/10 chance of survival.

Daisy Tonner: More than likely, the long arc of her messy relationship with accountability and vulnerability is going to catch up with her. She might take some motherfuckers down with her. She might take some friends down with her. Either way, it's going to be messy. 2/10 chance of survival, and even if she does survive, the thing that walks away is unlikely to be recognizable as Daisy.

Basira Hussein: Arguments that she was right and should have been allowed to just kill Jon aside, Basira's motivations have been growing increasingly counter to the main themes of the show and she started out as a commentary on toxic codependency in positions of authority. I suspect she's on a tragic arc, and it'll end badly for her. Which doesn't necessarily mean she'll die horribly, but it's a strong possibility. 4/10 chance of survival.

Simon Fairchild: On the one hand, he's one of the most formidable Avatars left that has any direct interaction with the cast, and may well come into conflict with them before the show's over. On the other hand, as far as I can tell he's survived since the fifteenth century purely on the strength of being too expansively annoying to die. Could go either way. 5/10 chance of survival.

Helen: The Distortion itself is probably going to be ok; even with all the Entities fully manifest, I doubt something so deeply of the Spiral exists on a level that can be fully stamped out. Helen herself may or may not be the face of the Distortion by the end, but then, it's always been hard to say to what degree the Distortion's humanoid manifestations are independent of the main monster.💫 /10 chance of survival.

Annabelle Cane: She's got her fingers in a few too many pies to be really safe, but she's very good at staying three steps ahead of everyone else. If she dies, it's probably because she gives someone sufficient motivation to beat her at her own game. 6/10 chance of survival.

Jared Hopworth: Assuming he survived when the Distortion dumped him in the river - and I see no reason to assume he didn't - I actually think his chances aren't bad? He's proven self sufficient and very difficult to kill in the past, and while he's not friendly toward the heroes, he doesn't seem to bear them any particular animus, either. The main reason I'm not giving him better odds is that he doesn't seem to have many allies, and practically everyone who interacts with him sees him as a threat, a potentially useful tool, or both. 6/10 chance of survival.

Jude Perry: Might still come into conflict with Team Archives in a way that leads to her destruction, but Jude's mostly just an aimless, freewheeling source of destruction at this point in her life and I don't see any reason that the plot should demand her death. She should be ok as long as she doesn't do something stupid, although to be fair Jude is probably fully capable of doing something stupid. 7/10 chance of survival.

Jonathan Sims: Jon's fate as the protagonist, more than any other character's, is directly tied to the tone of the ultimate resolution of the story - if it's a pure tragedy or a pyrric victory, he might die horribly or might live but lose himself entirely. If the story ends on a hopeful note, he'll either be ok or will have the opportunity to make a productive and dignified self-sacrifice. 7/10 chance of survival, but there's no guarentee he'll be happy about it.

Georgie Barker: Ironically, removing her ability to feel fear seems to have given her room to double up on both common sense and self-preservation instinct. Also arguably one of the characters with the most to live for: a loving girlfriend, a cat, a career in a field that's about as close to apocalypse-proof as you're going to find, the opportunity to rub her ex's incompetence as a sentient being in his face... Georgie could still get herself into trouble, but she's in a pretty strong position. 8/10 chance of survival.

Martin Blackwood: Martin's rounded the curve on his character arc, by which I mean, he seems to have gained enough perspective that his voice actor no longer actively resents his existence. Having survived Peter's machinations and learned to actually communicate with his loved ones occasionally and not volunteer as tribute every five minutes, he's in a solid place going into S5. 8/10 chance of survival.

Melanie King: Melanie has already earned her happy ending and severed her active connections to both Powers that had a claim to her; she may not be totally safe, but it would be hard to kill her off now without making it feel pointless and vaguely spiteful in a way that doesn't serve the story. 9/10 chance of survival.

Oliver Banks: Generally doesn't pick fights. Is probably already dead in pretty much any way that matters, metaphysically speaking. He'd have to work pretty hard to get himself killed off for real at this point. 9/10 chance of survival.

The Admiral: Look, if anyone is getting out of this thing alive, the Admiral will. He's a good boy and he will be fine. We know that this, at least, is something that Jonny holds sacred in his writing: he will not kill the cat for shock value. 100/10 chance of survival.

[alarawriting]

Inktober 2020 #7: Fancy

The Kings Club didn’t literally have anything to do with kings, but it might as well have; it was the place to be for the wealthy and well-connected of the world. Celebrities, business moguls, politicians, and actual royalty rubbed elbows with each other in an environment where anything might go, and where any pleasure could be had. Tonight, the ballroom in the Kings Club headquarters was packed full of members, guests of members, and potential new members, as the Kings Club held one of its open events for postulants.

“Lord Delmarro Meridian,” the doorman announced, “and guest.”

Delmarro Meridian was better known to the world as an activist for the rights of psions. He was technically a minor noble, which was the only reason he had a membership to the club; it was his family’s membership, not his personally. But Danae Taglund, founder and CEO of Taglund Industries and Chairwoman of the Governing Council of the Kings Club, had never actually seen him at any meeting of the club, including the open events like this one.

She was surprised, to say the least. Meridian was often an enemy of Club interests, and unlike most of the rich and powerful, who knew how to get along with each other even if they had drastically different opinions from each other, Meridian’s commitment to his bleeding heart politics meant that he was rarely capable of even having a civil conversation with any of Taglund’s set.

The Kings Club attitude toward psionics was the same as their attitude toward any valuable skill, trait or possession – if you were wealthy, intelligent, and ruthless enough to fully exploit what you had to gain yourself power and greater wealth, that qualified you to join the Club, perhaps even the Governing Council. If you were too weak to be able to do that, then you were fair game to be exploited by others who did have the strength and the will. Delmarro Meridian, in contrast, spent his time and money on all kinds of ridiculous causes, supporting weaklings like the poor, the disabled, the sick, and others, like women who weren’t strong enough to do what Taglund had done and seized power from a system that didn’t favor them, or people who weren’t white and wanted to make that the world’s problem rather than working hard. There were other philanthropists with memberships in the Club – none in the Governing Council, of course, but in the Club in general, there were more than a few – but none of them were quite so prickly as Meridian.

Taglund wove her way through the crowd to speak to him. It wasn’t hard – he wasn’t mingling. Meridian had parked himself by a table with crackers, cheese and fancy jams, like jalapeno persimmon.

“Delmarro! I’m so surprised to see you here. Should we be investing in ski resorts now? I seem to recall a conversation about a cold day in hell?”

Meridian smiled thinly. “I did say that, didn’t I.”

“What’s changed?”

“I can tell you that what hasn’t changed is that I still rather despise you, Danae.”

Taglund’s smile was broad. “Oh, of course, Del, I wouldn’t have it any other way. But I am curious what you’re up to.”

“It’s good to be curious. Keeps the mind sharp.”

Her laugh was almost sincere. “That’s delightful. You’re almost clever, Del.”

“That’s been my life ambition. To be considered ‘almost clever’ by you.” He turned away, scanning the crowd as if looking for someone.

“Oh, yes, you came with a guest. Is that your newest young lady?” Taglund’s smile turned into something like a sneer. “What happened to the redhead?”

“Nothing happened. My guest and I are just friends.”

“Of course, of course you are.”

A woman’s voice that Taglund almost recognized said, “Danae Taglund. Being a busybody again?”

Taglund turned. The woman she was looking at was a stranger, but an almost familiar one. Young, with short black hair and deeply tanned skin, wearing a stunning white dress covered with sequins. “I’m sorry, do I know you?”

The woman’s smile was tight and mirthless. “I suspect you do, but perhaps you don’t recognize me.”

“I find it hard to believe you could be very important if I don’t recognize you.”

“I suppose not.” The woman chuckled slightly, and then looked away from Taglund dismissively. “Del. I’m almost done calibrating.”

“You need to be very careful,” Meridian said. “Taglund, would you excuse me, please? I need to have a word with my guest here.”

“Oh, of course,” Taglund said, and let the two of them step away. She had other guests to talk to, other agendas to pursue, and in the end it really didn’t matter who some bimbo –

--oh, no.

She spun back to look at Meridian’s guest. With the short hair and the younger face, she hadn’t recognized the woman, but—“—Eris?”

“Ah. You do recognize me,” the woman said.

The last she'd seen, Eris had been a woman in her 50's or so, with long, long black hair just starting with strands of gray, lifting and moving in ropes like snakes or undulating in waves whenever she used her power. But Eris hadn't been seen in five years, and there had been a good reason for that. Taglund’s breath came hard in her chest, and her heart pounded hard enough that she could feel it. “You’re dead! You’re supposed to be dead!”

“That’s right. I was dead for a while back there, wasn’t I.” The weirdly younger version of the most dangerous psion on the planet shrugged. “It was a mistake, and I’ve rectified it.”

With wide, horrified eyes, Taglund stared at Meridian. “You’re working with Eris?”

“I’m confident that she’s changed,” Meridian said. “Enough.”

“Dying and coming back in a cloned body does give you some perspective,” Eris said. “And less cumulative damage to my own brain.” She smiled darkly. “I’m sane now. And that means I can target my effects.”

“Target… who?” Taglund asked, her mouth dry with fear.

“You have a lot of innocent people here,” Eris said. “Open event, and all.” Her smile grew broader. "Del wouldn't appreciate my harming them. Anyone else, though...

Taglund raised her fists. “If you’re here to start something—”

“You’ll do what?” Eris asked, blandly curious.

Danae Taglund valued strength above all else. The strength to found a company and keep it alive. The strength to stand up to a world that was trying to crush you down. The strength she had in her arms, as the strongest woman on the planet, her telekinesis channeled entirely through her muscles. She swung at Eris… who caught her in her own telekinesis, effortlessly, because the bitch didn’t just have the ability to drive everyone in a mile-wide radius insane, she was also one of the world’s most powerful telekinetics. She just didn’t use it as her primary mode of attack.

Eris picked Taglund up and flung her to the ground. “Go warn all your allies,” she said, coldly. “If you like. If you think it will help.”

Taglund got to her feet, recognizing when she was beaten, and ran for her life, leaving any possible allies behind to fend for themselves. Behind her, a stream of people who Eris was presumably defining as “innocent” were strolling for the exits, presumably all believing they’d just spontaneously decided that now was a good time to leave. And behind that, she heard raised voices, the start of sudden and purposeless conflicts that would bloom into violence within minutes.

She had no idea why Meridian the bleeding heart was working with the psionic terrorist. She didn’t care, either. Eris showing up at the Kings Club event was like a walking nuclear bomb strolling in, and Taglund hadn’t gotten to where she was in life by being indecisive or trying to be a hero. She ran like the gates of hell were opening behind her… because they were.

[beautifulterriblequeen]

Hihi. Since you are like a Guru of The Dragon Prince, and I've come to this fandom pretty late, I would like to ask you if this was discussed before: The name of the elves seems to follow a pattern so far we know: source of power + skill; aka, Moonshadows can become a Shadow; skywings can be born/ grow wings; Sunfires, can turn into "fire"[molten], but Aaravos is a Startouch elf. This brought to me the idea that his "true" power, beyond being a powerful archmage, is related to touching. 1/2

What one can expect from someone with a touching-power is to drain their power [and certainly the similarity of this potential power with the Dark Magic is quite interesting]. So… that may be the reason why he was isolated and trapped in a mirror guarded by the Dragons? The mirror did not allow any touching. He should not Touch creatures around, because his true power is unleashed?. any thoughts or info I dont know about this? Sorry, I’m late into this fandom t.t 2/2

I’m absolutely no such thing as a guru, but I can yeet a few ideas out there for you, since there has been speculation on the naming conventions for the elven races.

There’s a general headcanon that a single concept anchors all the elven race names together. The first part of their race names are their primal sources, and the second part is, well, we’re not 100% sure. But it is likely related to the effect of the primal source on the elves, the powers it bestows on them, or the skills they gain. Or some of all three, plus something we haven’t thought of yet. 

So we’ve got Sunfire,  Moonshadow, Earthblood, Ocean-mumble-something/Waterwet elves, Skywings, and Star Touch elves.

My personal take is that these six things are metaphors for physical embodiments of the primal sources. Six things that the elves can physically do to affect their world, thanks to their arcanum. I made this post about the six elven race names a while back, using Sarai’s comment to Callum about truly knowing something. Seemed kinda cool.

Sunfires have that heat and light being. They also seem to use their emotions to fuel those states, like Janai did when her sister was killed. With the ability to turn off their emotions and still burn hot, the question of power usage is just a matter of What?

Moonshadows can turn invisible, become one with the night, step into the darkness of their own souls. Because they will do anything, no matter how hard it is or what it costs, the question they ask isn’t what or why, but How?

Earthbloods are very steady, and they are connected to living things. The word “lifeblood” is probably integral to their magic, their perspective, and their skills. They’re deeply rooted in history, and that steadies them. They’re very patient as a result, so their question is always When?

Ocean elves are said to be warm, caring, family-oriented creatures. Water is life, and the other half of the concept of “lifeblood”. They’re those friends who will drop everything to help you move across the country, who will answer their phones at 3am because it’s you who’s calling them. The most important question to them is Who?

Skywings can literally fly, they embrace that third dimension in their calculations, they’re flexible and mentally agile. They can and will do anything they like, and it’s just a matter of Where?

Star Touch elves see so much more than anyone else. They have all the answers. Too many answers, perhaps. Do they see possible futures? Can they pick and choose how to guide the rest of the world? Divination is a heavy burden to carry, because your choices never come down to How or Where or When. When everything is possible you need to make your choices based on Why?

So, what’s the metaphor behind Aaravos’s power of touch? It seems like one of those nifty concepts that applies in a dozen different ways. Aaravos can touch everything from Viren’s ear to history itself. His ability to influence–one synonym for touch–is unparalleled, due to a combination of his long life and his powerful skill set. He turned Queen Khessa to ash with a single touch. He can magically create the ability to touch, using a willing partner and a series of magic spells that set his caterpillar free in the world, able to make physical contact with Viren.

But I think the most important aspect of touching for Aaravos is that he was imprisoned in an attempt to keep him from using every single one of his touch-related abilities. Aaravos is purposely being kept out of touch. He literally cannot touch the world, and had to watch as it passed him by, as decisions were made without him, as lives were lived and new creatures came into being, free to do exactly as they pleased without a single bit of contact, on any level, from a Star Touch who could see so much.

I know I go on a bit with my love for Aaravos being a karma god, able to give people exactly what they deserve, but if that mirror prison isn’t a karmic Star Touch punishment, I dunno what is.

If Aaravos really is growing himself a new body to pop his astral form into, then I’ll be on the edge of my seat to see exactly how his senses of touching will be unleashed. I expect there will be many instances that call back to his name: Star Touch. Physical touch, the touch of destiny, influencing events around him (the physical embodiment of ta’veren, perhaps), and maybe further-flung related ideas, like making someone “touched in the head”/driving them mad–looking at you, Viren–or bestowing gifts/powers/arcana to those around him.

Aaravos keeps using the creepiest powers possible. It’s far more visceral than I expected for an elf so connected to mental powers. He’s got bugs down people’s throats and he’s grabbing queens by the face and murdering them with his finger. He’s very touchy indeed. I don’t think that level of shenaniganry is going to disappear anytime soon, either. Aaravos is going to be a very hands-on elf. And I’m thinking that that may be a big part of why people dislike him so much.

[selfless1978]

I once, in private, RPed with my Leo with a very special person. They knew how much I loved my version of him, and he had expressed it like this when she asked if it would upset me. 

Basically, there is one base Leo that was originally created. No matter how much we change him and shape him, every single one leads back to that first version. If it hadn’t been for that gritty comic, he never would have been available in so many forms to love. So, in a sense, there is only one Leo and all his different shapes and forms are just a matter of perspective on those who want to bring him to life. Therefore, no one really owns him. Everyone has had a hand to making him what he is. To some a BDSM master, to others a soft, caring lover. To many he is a stick in the mud, to few he is a clown in disguise. He is a character made for the masses that takes different shapes depending on the need. Therefore, he is to be shared by all. 

Now, I’m going to do this same thing with Vicky. I’ve played her in many forms, but her base personality is the same. What makes her, her is always going to be at her core, good or bad. In my mind, Vicky has grown far from her original intention to be a self insert. She has grown into her own enigma. Now, with a few years of playing her in many situations behind me, she has that same kind of depth. I’m going to do something that I haven’t seen done yet. One version of her new to this, the other having already taken the plunge. Both together in one story. And both having fallen for him. For Leo.

I hope you enjoy.

@fearlessheartofasamurai and @bushido-in-blue

This one is for you. One having seen me through some very hard times, and is dearly missed. The other helping me to overcome a deep scar of hurt to bring Vicky back out. To let her once more flourish in my writings.

To the both of you, I thank you deeply.

-Vicky Mun

TELL HIM

She sat across from him. Her deep brown eyes watching him as he tended to his weapons. Being very meticulous to sharpen every burr. His attention to the slightest detail amazing this often impatient and flighty woman. To her, it wasn’t the only amazing thing about him. She still couldn’t believe that such a marvelous creature gave her the time of day. 

This left her with the feeling of girly giddiness and, fear. She showed him neither as she started to form a connection. She was growing very fond of him. Even now she smiled as he engaged with a quick banter session with Mikey. Raph and Donnie chiming in and soon the lair was filled with their light hearted laughter. It was over in a short time, and soon she found herself alone with him as he returned his attention back to his weapons. Still, she said nothing. She didn’t want to interrupt his maintenance of his weapons, knowing full well that his life depended on them. And, what she really wanted to say was hidden behind a wall of uncertainty. 

I'm scared. So afraid to show I care

These feelings she was dealing with were very hard for her to voice. Her own past of hurt not wanting to let go and to allow her to reach out to him. To allow her even the slightest hope that he could be something more than a friend.

Will he think me weak. If I tremble when I speak

She bit her lip as she sat silently on the couch. Here was her chance. She could tell him about these thoughts and feelings. But the mere thought of that made her clam up. She knew very well that she wasn’t very good at talking about things this deep and personal. She would end up a stuttering mess and make a fool out of herself.

Oooh, what if there's another one he's thinking of

What if he had his interest in someone else? A man like him could have any woman he wanted, why would he want to spend time with her? A nobody with a damaged past and so many issues she had to face and learn to overcome.

Maybe he's in love, I'd feel like a fool

But if she never said anything, how would she know? If she didn’t reach out to him, this torment she was facing now would never be resolved. She would forever lament the opportunity passed because she was to afraid to speak up.

Life can be so cruel, I don't know what to do

Suddenly, she felt a warmth. It, was an odd feeling. Comforting, calming. A feeling full of hope. She closed her eyes to it and found a mental image of, herself? It seemed now as if two of her were sitting on the couch. one next to the other. Her current, torn self and another that watched with gentle compassion. Her loving expression watching him fondly as he obliviously worked. 

Then, this strange vision turned to look at her directly.

I've been there. With my heart out in my hand

Images began to fade in. Curious ones. They could be memories if she had done these things herself, but she hadn’t. There were things that were noticeably different. The lair setup, the furniture, even the turtles themselves were different to her in these pictures. She was in awe as she sat there, her eyes still closed. Trapped in this strange trance. But this, she wasn’t scared of. This shade was projecting nothing that even remotely alarmed her. If anything, it seemed understanding.

One image in particular held her. An image of this other her standing in front of this Leo. Just as terrified as she told him what was in her heart. 

But what you must understand, you can't let the chance to love him pass you by

She felt her heart melt as these two came together in their first kiss.  Tell him. Tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes. Reach out to him

She could feel the elation coming from this woman. Felt all of the fear drain out of her. She watched as they held each other close. Her head now tucked under his chin while his large arms wrapped around her.

And whisper, tender words so soft and sweet

They exchanged soft, loving words as he wiped her tears. Tears of relief. This shade had faced this same fear and the relief trickled down her cheeks. Her head eating against his chest.

She wanted that, she wanted that so much.

I'll hold him close to feel his heart beat

Now the scene changed. But it was her doing this time. Turning it into an image of herself and this turtle infant of them that mirrored the happiness she was feeling from her visitor. Showing this unique vision that this was also what she wanted, more than anything else.

Love will be the gift you give yourself

The shade smiled and nodded encouragingly, showing her support. She could clearly see the happiness in these strange eyes like hers. Touch him, with the gentleness you feel inside

More images came. Scenes of soft touches and caresses. Morning after bliss as they lay wrapped in each other’s arms. Casual hand holding, giggling pillow fights. The feeling of warmth at just being near him

 (I feel it)

A warmth she could feel for herself. This shade shared her own memories so openly and complete that she had no choice. She even felt how much this image loved him, and the feeling tore at her heart. Happy that this shade could find such love, and lamenting that it wasn’t actually her feeling it.

Your love can't be denied. The truth will set you free

She was compelled to open her eyes, and so she did. Leo had now moved on to his other blade. He felt her watching and looked up, giving her a smile before he began his minute inspection.

You'll have what's mean to be. All in time you'll see

She still felt this strange presence even with her eyes now open. As she watched him, an image over lapped her view of him. An image of the shade sitting sideways in her Leo’s lap, sharing more tender kisses before it gently faded away. Ooh, I love him

Her heart ached. There was no denying how she felt. 

(Then show him)

What she wanted. She swallowed hard as she fought with herself still. The warmth this shade brought with her flared again, soothing her while still sending her support.

Of that much I can be sure 

No, there was no denying what was growing in her. The flame, which had been so uncertainly flickering began to steady and burned brighter.

(Hold him close to you)

Reassurance filled her as another image was flashed before her. Both of them wrapped in a tight hug. But this was an image of her and what could be.

I don't think I could endure if I let him walk away, when I have so much to say She would gain nothing if she remained silent. She would suffer this painful uncertainty if she didn’t speak. She would be heartbroken if she didn’t at least try.

She struggled with it for a long moment, biting her lip in indecision.

Tell him. Tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes

The playful image of her shade laughing as she dabbed soap suds on her Leo’s nose as they bathed flashed before her eyes.

Reach out to him and whisper, tender words so soft and sweet

Followed by soft whispers of sweet nothings before they shared a kiss. Him pulling her close against him.

I'll hold him close to feel his heart beat

And yet another of her shade smiling up at him while he carried her, then grinned before he playfully dumped her into a large beanbag chair and followed her down. Laughter now giving way to passion.

Love will be the gift you give yourself She took a deep, shaking, breath and pushed herself off of the couch. She could have this. This experience was crazy, but she was grateful for it. It was giving her something to bury her fears. It was giving her hope.

Love is light that surely glows In the hearts of those who know. It's a steady flame that grows

She began to walk slowly towards him. Fighting her fear and uncertainty with every step. When he noticed her approaching, he looked up. His eyes full of curiosity and her resolve almost faltered.

Feed the fire with all the passion you can show

That now very welcome warmth flared inside of her again, washing away her doubts. The shade was still with her, and was clearly telling her she wasn’t alone. She smiled a shy smile at Leo and stepped closer.

Tonight love will assume its place. This memory time cannot erase

She stopped in font of him and he looked up at her expectantly.

Your faith will lead love where it has to go

She fidgeted a moment, unsure how to even begin. Tell him

Let it come from the heart

Tell him that the sun and moon rise in his eyes

Be honest, sincere.

Reach out to him and whisper, whisper words so soft and sweet

Vicky shook a little as she heard the words only she could hear, then reached for his hand and gently took it in hers. Was she crazy? Or was there really something helping her? She did know that if this hadn’t happened, she may have never found the courage to even think of trying to do this much less be standing in front of him now. 

Hold him close to feel his heart beat

His hand in hers. 

Love will be the gift you give yourself

She could do this. If she had any chance with him at all, she had to do this. There was one last image. The shade was now standing behind Leo. Smiling that same smile full of compassion and gentleness. The warmth she had been feeling moved from her body towards it, and she understood that this image of her had indeed come to her aid. She didn’t know how it was even possible, but she would be forever grateful to it. “Never let him go”

“I won’t...”

“Leo, um, can, can we talk?”

Damn. I made myself cry with this one....