#but with the fabric store closing down it makes the project just.... so much more difficult.....

[jennay]

Photographs

Noah Sebastian x reader

Request: I've got a fluffy one with Noah!! You've been best friends forever, and one day, Noah looks over old pictures of you guys and realizes that he's in love 🥰

An: this is around 3-4k and it's the longest thing I've written on here. I loved this idea so much. 🖤

Noah Master List

Noah didn't want to tell you the bad news. He didn't think you would take it well, but much to his surprise, you acted like you didn't care.

You didn't want him to feel guilty, so you put on a brave face and pretended it didn't matter. "It's okay." You give him a reassuring smile. "We've celebrated so many birthdays together, one more or less won't make a difference." You wrap your arm around his and pull him along. "Let's make the most of our time?"

"Really? You're not mad?" He asks, sounding doubtful but following your lead.

"I know you have a lot going on, and you need to show up at these things." You say, stopping in front of an old building with a sign that says 'Antiques.' You'd always loved browsing through the dusty shelves and finding hidden gems from the past.

Noah, on the other hand, hated the smell and the clutter of these places, but he never complained when you dragged him along.

"Come on, let's go treasure hunting." You say, pushing open the door and stepping inside.

"It smells like my grandma's attic," Noah whispers to you, keeping his hands in his pockets and looking around nervously. He always acted like he was afraid of catching some ancient disease.

"Stop." You laugh, "You're literally so dramatic."

You unlock your arm from his and walk into one of the sections filled with stuff from the 1950s. You loved the feel of the fabrics between your fingers, the smell of old perfume and dust, and the thrill of discovering hidden gems among the piles of clothes.

You told everyone you would reinvent the style and wear them, but you never did. Instead, they collected dust and stayed in boxes. You always told people it was because your apartment was too small for such a big project, but the truth was, you just didn't have time for all your hobbies.

Noah watched you with amusement, wondering what was going through your mind. He'd known you for a lifetime, yet you still surprised him.

Out of the corner of your eye, you see him watching. "You look awkward, Noah. Can you at least pretend to look at something? They're gonna think you're casing the place."

He saunters closer, standing behind you and leaning down to rest his chin on your shoulder, "I hate this place."

You pick up another shirt, holding it in front of you, and observe the fun pattern, wondering if it's worth it. "Do you think I should get this?"

Noah stands straight and gently grabs the shirt from your hands and holds the shirt close to your chest, imagining what it would look like on you. "I like it, but I think your boobs are too big." He laughs. "I don't think it's going to fit."

"My boobs aren't even that big." You say, shrugging your shoulders; you grab the shirt back, folding it and setting it down.

You notice his eyes falling to your chest as he says, "They are!"

You cross your arms over your chest, a light laughter falling from your lips, "Stop looking at them!" You snap your fingers at his face, "My eyes are up here!"

"Sorry, but the denial is extreme."

You tilt your head back, looking at the ceiling, praying for the strength not to murder him right then and there. "Let's get out of here; I'm not asking you for advice ever again."

Noah laughs, following you down the aisle, and when you reach the door, he gladly reaches out, holding it open. "After you." He smiles goofy as he showcases the world outside.

He inhales the fresh air, glad to leave the musty store behind. "How about a drink?" He gestures to the bar down the street. "Or are you ready to call it a night?"

"Let's go to my place instead. I still have some beer from the last time you were over. And I found these old photos of us when I was packing. You have to see them!"

He freezes on the sidewalk and gapes at you. "Packing?" His voice croaks, and his smile quickly fades.

Your eyes widen. "Shit." You say under your breath. "Noah, I…let me explain."

He blinks at you a few times, waiting for you to start explaining, but you can't find the words.

You and Noah never kept secrets from each other, and his heart sank at your words. He feels anxious as he wonders why you're moving and why you didn't tell him sooner.

You two had been inseparable since childhood, growing up in the same neighborhood in Virginia, and when he moved away, you followed him. You had never lived more than half an hour apart.

"I meant to tell you, but I knew you'd freak out, and I had this whole speech planned." You say, trying to sound casual. You hope he'll understand you're not abandoning him but just trying something new.

He shakes his head and walks away from you towards his car. He presses a button, and the doors unlock.

"You can explain in the car." He says coldly.

He's angry you didn't trust him enough to tell him sooner and feels betrayed by your secrecy.

You fasten your seat belt, feeling a knot in your stomach. The silence between you and Noah is deafening. You wish he would say something, anything, to break the tension.

Noah rests his head on his hand on the middle console and steers the car with the other. His expression is blank, but you can sense his resentment. "Where are you moving? Is it far?" He asks, his voice flat.

"Washington." You manage to squeak out.

He straightens up and grips the wheel with both hands. He glances at you when he stops at a red light. His brown eyes are cold and distant. "That's two states away from me." He says, his tone bitter.

You sigh heavily, "My brother offered me a job, and with it being a new company, I want to help. He helped me through some pretty hard times." You pause, remembering how your brother was always there for you when you needed him. "I wanna help him out now that he needs it." You say softly, hoping he will see how much this means to you.

You glance at him, hoping to see some understanding in his face.

"What about me?" He quietly asks, his voice cracking slightly. "You're okay with just peacin out on me?" He stares at you with disbelief.

"It's not like that." You try to explain, but your voice trembles. "Noah, you do this to me all the time. Every year four the last four years, to be exact." You look away from him, feeling tears welling up in your eyes. Arguing with him was your least favorite thing to do.

He rolls his eyes, "My job is touring, and I always come back!" He reminds you, raising his voice slightly. "And when I'm not working, I spend time with you!"

He pulls into your apartment complex, but you don't respond to his words. There was no use in adding gasoline to the fire.

You unclick your belt and open the door. On a typical day, this is where Noah would get out and meet you in front of the car and give you the biggest bear hug telling you he will see you soon, or he would come upstairs and have a few drinks while the two of you played games and laughed your asses off, but Noah won't even look at you after you.

You shut the car door and walk around to his window. He rolls it down and numbly looks at you. You hate this. You hate hurting him like this. "I know you're mad, and I'm sorry. I should've told you a long time ago. Before I started packing." You say in a shaky voice. "I didn't mean to upset you."

He nods, biting his lip. He doesn't know what to say to you. He feels like he's losing you.

"Can you wait a minute? I have something for you." You ask him, hoping he will accept your gift.

He studies you for a second, noticing the fear in your eyes. He doesn't want you to be afraid of him, but he's angry, too. "Yeah." He says softly, giving you a weak smile.

Noah waits for you in the car, lost in his thoughts. Is he wrong for feeling this way? Does he have the right to be upset?

You come back with an envelope in your hand. You hand it to him through the window. "These are some photos of us. I thought you might like them." You say with a sad smile. "I made copies so you can keep these."

He takes the envelope from you but doesn't open it. He looks at you with a conflicted expression. "Thanks." He says quietly. "I'll look at them when I get home."

Noah was curled up on the couch, his eyes glued to his favorite show. He knew it was a futile attempt to distract himself from the pain of losing you.

The envelope you gave him lay on the coffee table, a silent reminder of what he was about to lose.

He had brought them down from his bedroom, telling himself he would look at them, but he couldn't bring himself to do it. They just taunted him with their presence.

He glanced away from the TV, noticing his bandmate and friend coming down the stairs. He watched as Jolly approached and sat on the couch beside him.

Jolly picked up the envelope and examined it curiously. "What's this?" He asked, shaking the envelope slightly.

"(Y/n) gave me some pictures," Noah muttered, turning his attention back to the TV.

"Ooh, pictures? Like naughty pictures?" Jolly joked, wiggling his eyebrows. He tore open the envelope and pulled out the photos.

Noah didn't stop him; he wanted to see the pictures, too, but he needed someone else to do it. "She's moving to Washington next week," Noah states painfully. "She thinks she gave them to me as a parting gift, but I think she's a sadist."

Jolly hands Noah the photos one after one, making sure that he looks at every single picture. "You're going to let her go?"

He shrugs at his friend, "I can't tell her what to do, man. It's her life."

Noah stares down at one of the photos, feeling nostalgic. He smiles as he recognizes it's a picture of you and him from your teenage years when you were both rebellious and adventurous.

Noah remembered the day perfectly because it was the same day your parents decided he was able to stay with your family for a few weeks until he could figure something out.

He was always grateful for your parents, who treated him like their own son. He bounced back and forth between your house and a few others, never feeling like he belonged anywhere. But with you, he felt at home.

You were sitting next to him on a bench at the park, leaning your head on his shoulder. Your hair was bright pink, contrasting with your black clothes and accessories. You wore stud bracelets and Converse shoes, showing off your punk style. Noah wore skinny jeans and a red band t-shirt, matching your edgy vibe. You thought you were the coolest kids in town, but doesn't every 16-year-old think that?

You had a camera in your hand and snapped a selfie of the two of you, capturing the moment forever. You smiled at him with your eyes sparkling, and he felt his heart skip a beat. He still feels it every time he looks at you.

He continues to flip through the photos, listening to Jolly's side comments about how dorky the two of you are or how he couldn't fathom having a friend that long.

Noah felt a strange sensation in his chest as he continued flipping through the images. He saw your smile, your eyes, your laugh, and he realized how much he missed you. He was starting to comprehend why he was so upset you were deciding to move away from him. He felt like he had been punched in the gut. "Fuck." He says, tilting his head back and dropping the photos beside him. He runs his hand down his face dramatically. "I can't let her go."

Jolly finds this whole situation amusing. "Oh?" He laughs.

"It's her. It's always been her, dammit! I'm mad because I love her, and she wants to leave." He shakes his head, feeling a rush of emotions.

Jolly chuckles at Noah's sudden realization. "Yeah, man. I was wondering how long that was going to take. Glad you caught up." He says sarcastically.

Noah leans forward, groaning while resting his face in his hands, "What do I do?"

Jolly stands up, stretching his arms out and yawning. "You can start by, I don't know, telling her?" His hands fall back at his side, "Why are you still sitting here? Go tell her." He demands. "I think heartache is great for making music, but dealing with you having a heartache moping around all the time is going to be miserable for all of us."

Noah looks up at him with a hopeless expression. "But what if she doesn't feel the same way? What if I ruin our friendship?"

Jolly rolls his eyes and grabs Noah by the shoulders. "Dude, trust me. She feels the same way. She's been dropping hints for years. You're just too dense to notice." He says bluntly.

Noah blinks in disbelief. "What?"

Jolly sighs and lists some examples. "Like how she always hugs you longer than anyone else. Or how she laughs at your lame jokes. Or how she looks at you with those puppy eyes. Or how she always calls you her best friend, but in a way that sounds like she means more. She's never gotten along with any of your girlfriends…and she's jealous when you don't spend time with her?"

Noah thinks about it and realizes he's right. He feels hope, "She does do those things."

Jolly nods and pushes Noah towards the door. "Exactly. Now go get her, tiger." He laughs.

Noah smiles and walks out of the door, leaving Jolly behind.

Jolly shakes his head and smiles to himself. "I did it."

You'd just finished packing the last box for your kitchen. You hated packing. You always left it until the last minute, hoping that somehow it would magically get done by itself. You always procrastinated. It was your biggest weakness and a terrific motivator.

You lay on the cold kitchen floor, exhausted from the continuous packing. You felt a wave of sadness wash over you as you looked around the empty room.

This was where you cooked, laughed, cried, and shared many memories with your friends. And now you were leaving it all behind. You thought about asking a friend to sit with you, but part of you wanted to be alone. This would be your new norm until you made new friends.

Am I doing the right thing? You text your sister.

You needed some reassurance, some validation, some support. You peeled yourself off the ground, lazily crawled to the fridge, and popped open a beer. It was one of the ones that Noah left. You stared at the label, feeling a weird pit in your stomach. You wanted Noah here helping you through this and sharing what's supposed to be a positive pivot in your life.

You wanted his support more than anyone's, but he ignored your text, and you decided to give him space. You understood why he was upset but thought he would get over it. It's not like the two of you were dating, and this was somehow breaking up your relationship. But maybe that was the problem. You wanted more, and he didn't.

You sipped the beer, feeling the bitter taste on your tongue. You wished you could talk to him, hear his voice, see his smile.

You wished he would tell you that he loved you, would miss you, and would follow you anywhere, but that just wasn't the case.

I think big decisions are sometimes scary. Besides, this will be the first time you won't have your sidekick, and I'm sure that's a weird feeling.

You sigh as you lean against the cupboard, texting her back, I don't think I can do it.

You feel a surge of panic and desperation. You can't leave without telling him how you feel. You can't let him go without knowing if he feels the same. You stand up, set your beer on the counter, and search for your keys. You knew what to do, and it was now or never. You didn't care that you were in pajamas; you needed to talk to Noah and understand what would happen if you chose to stay. You grab your purse and head for the front door.

As you open it, you're startled to see someone standing in your doorway with his hand up as if he were ready to knock. Your heart stops as you recognize him. It's Noah. He's here. He's looking at you with shock and confusion. "Hi?" Noah says as if the wind has been knocked out of him.

You stare at him, speechless. You can't believe he's here, at this exact moment when you were about to find him. Is this fate? Is this a sign?

"Is this a bad time?" He asks.

You shake your head no. Your shoulders relax, and you smile while letting him in. You hang your purse on the coat rack and lead him to the living room. "Sorry, there's shit everywhere."

He doesn't seem to care. He only has eyes for you. "You can't go." He bites his lip nervously. "I can't let you."

Your eyebrow raises, and you decide to stay quiet, hoping he will enlighten you.

Noah nervously grabs your hand and pulls you to the couch where the two of you sit. He turns to face you, holding your hand tighter than before.

"Just hear me out for a second." He swallows hard, unsure of how to say the words. "I'm an idiot." He exhales loudly. "I'd do just about anything for you. I hope you know that. Miles got us out of that interview on your birthday… the one out of town. So that I could be with you."

You pull your hand back, squeezing the bridge of your nose. "You guys didn't have to do that."

You feel guilty.

He reaches for your hand again, gently caressing it with his thumb. "We did Because I wanted to spend that day with you. I need to tell you something."

He looks into your eyes, his own filled with sincerity. "I'm in love with you." He says softly. "I can't stand the thought of losing you."

You feel stunned. You don't know what you were expecting, but it wasn't that. You feel a surge of joy and relief mixed with disbelief and fear. Is this real? Is he serious? Do you dare to believe him?

Your stunned face finally shows a smile creeping on your lips. "Good. I was going to find you to tell you the same thing."

He grins, no longer nervous, as he brings his hand to your face, closing the gap between your lips and pressing down. You feel his tongue gently trace your lip, asking for permission, and you don't hesitate to accept, allowing his tongue to dance with yours.

You wrap your arms around his neck, pulling him closer, feeling his heartbeat against yours, and before you know it, he's pulling you on his lap and deepening the kiss, making you moan softly.

In between kisses, he tells you how much he loves you, wants you, and needs you.

You gently pull away, resting your hands on his chest, lust in your eyes, craving more touches from him.

He smiles at you with love filling his eyes, "This means you're staying, right?" He rests his hands on your hips, waiting patiently for a response.

You giggle, a little surprised by his question. You thought it was obvious. "Yes," You say, looking around the apartment, "Wanna help me unpack?" He groans, but his eyes sparkle with joy. He pulls you closer and kisses you softly. "I guess I can, but only because I love you."

[maythedreadwolftakeyou]

Hiii, do you have any tips for drafting out embroidery patterns? I've got one in mind, but drafting it out and color picking is so nerve-wracking!!

[Hi!!!! this got kinda really long so I'm gonna crop it under a read more. And I honestly don't have any real training/instruction in fiber arts so this is just how I do things, and probably others do them very differently!]

Haha so my fandom embroideries are VERY different from my non-fandom personal pieces in this respect. For non-fandom things i just kind of throw myself in like WAHOO FREEFORM LETS GO and go for a kind of messy colorful approach that ends up as things like this:

Versus my fandom stuff is way more structured and designed to fill space, be very precise, etc. So for those I do go in with a digital mock up of the design I make in photoshop, that I then color in, and then as my last step translate to thread colors.

For my Dragon Age series. this has been because I'm specifically trying to mimic the stained-glass style of art you see in parts of the game like the dialogue wheels, some icons, windows, etc. The icons in particular were really easy to copy into embroidery because they already come in handy circles:

This is mostly because I have desperately wanted to pick up stained glass work as a hobby for like 6 years now. As in once every 3-6 months I put everything I'd need to start doing it into an online shopping cart and look at the price total and then sadly close the window because I just don't actually have any space I could do it in (I live in a 2bed apartment so i have no garage or yard or anywhere it wouldn't make everything else a mess or be a hazard). The day after one of those events I impulse bought and completed a floral embroidery kit from the craft store and kinda was like... ok, well, I did this once how hard can it be to use this medium to mimic the hobby I wish I could be doing? Plus, it's only like 60 cents per color! I can afford that! So I took the first design I wanted to do, the romance icon, and basically redrew it sloppily in photoshop, then freehand-copied the design onto fabric and stitched it the next day:

I learned a lot from this piece and changed my approach a little. Here you can see I tried shading in the parallel direction to my thread, which looked messy and added texture, so now I shade horizontally to my thread direction instead.

But it gave me a basic approach for turning the Tarot cards or DA Keep tiles (or any other art!) into embroidery patterns, which I couldn't copy as directly into this really smooth stained-glass style. There's a basic process I follow when doing these conversions that generally follows the same order, which I'll go through below.

STEP 1: SHAPES

The first thing I do is pick the shape of my display frame which is usually a circle, but could be an oval or rectangle too, since I hang the finished pieces on my wall to have nice way to show them off. I like to fill the whole space so knowing the size and shape of what I want the finished project to look like is a good goal for me. Since I am doing fandom pieces I want to be recognizable, I do stick pretty close to the "original" character design/art, but you can absolutely change as much as you want and freehand draw your own interpretation instead. If you're doing original art just substitute the below composition notes with "sketch out roughly what you want it to look like". I personally do my pattern drafting digitally as I find it easier, but you can do this part by hand too.

First, I keep the reference image I'm working off of open next to me while I work, and draw in the shape of my frame (here, a circle). If I'm adding in the little border to be fancy, I add a second inner circle. I keep these as their own top layer so I always know I'm working within the final "frame" and don't spend time designing any section that will fall outside it. Then I will take copies of the reference image and knock the layers down to 25-50% opacity, and start moving them around underneath the 'frame' layer until I like the way their positioning looks as a composition. Sometimes elements of a card I want to include don't all fit in, so I'll chop the section out and add an additional layer to throw in (like the background circle things in the Hermit design below). Or I'll just freehand things like adding much bigger diamonds behind Solas in my Hierophant design because I did NOT want to do 1000 tiny ones. Then once I'm satisfied with the general composition, I'll use the plain ol circular brush tool to trace out the major shapes of each element. I try to keep in mind that I can't go too small, and curvy lines are more difficult to fill in than straight ones. I usually do a rough messy version first, make it mostly transparent, and then a cleaner and more precise one over that.

(you can see parts of the rough one on the left and the fully 'cleaned up' on the right for the Hierophant design)

Now: depending on what you are doing next with the pattern, this might be where you stop and start coloring. If you are planning to freehand your design or just trace it onto fabric (or even print it onto fabric here), there's no need to do more than this kind of lineart! However, if you are working digitally and want to create a scalable vector so you can print it at different sizes, you can use the pen tool in photoshop to trace your design and make a "work path" of the lineart. However, another note: THIS PART IS VERY FRUSTRATING AND TEDIOUS BECAUSE THE PEN TOOL WAS CREATED BY THE DEVIL TO TORMENT US. It is so so so easy to accidentally delete a line or even the whole path and not notice later on. Ask me how I know 😭 Anyway I'm not going to include a pen tool tutorial because I don't even know how to use it well and have to google or watch videos every other time I try to use it. But if you can muddle through it gets you some really clean lines that eventually look like this:

With the work path selected, you can select the brush tool/size/color and use the "stroke path" option to create lineart of the vector. Then you can save this as a transparent png file for use at different sizes and for printing and it looks so nice and clean! one of the big benefits to this is that you get really fine lines that are easier to be precise with stitching on. This is extra perfect if you are printing the design directly onto your fabric (which you can do with an at-home inkjet printer for designs under 8inches wide, as long as you stick a piece of stabilizer on the back of your fabric and cut it down to printer sheet size--this is what I do and can make another post about that process if people want haha), or if you are printing onto transfer paper like you can buy at craft stores.

This is where I end the lineart for my designs. After I have this, I move on to the next phase, which is...

STEP 2: COLOR

For interpreting my designs into thread, I start by thinking of it as flat colors first. You can't "shade" as easily with threads as you can with things like paint or brushes in digital art (though you can A Little, which I will get into), so to start color planning I pick the "main" color each section will be in the piece.

For the existing icons this was simple--I kept the same sections as the original designs, so for each I just color picked or eyeballed the color in photoshop and colored it in (but you could do this on paper with pencils, markers, whatever as well--they don't need to match your threads exactly and usually won't, it's just to give you an easy reference to follow as you go). For the tarot cards which were more complicated in coloration, I just did my best and went with what looked good next to each other, even if it was a little off the original art. It will be off more later anyway when you have to pick threads so don't stress it too much honestly. I will often make layers with different color options and turn them on/off for direct comparison to try to determine what I think looks best as well, like below where I was debating between more blue/desaturated for the background or brighter colors.

I do wanna note I have regrets about the color selection, shapes, or shading in EVERY SINGLE ONE of my finished pieces. But no one else ever comments or probably even notices! One aspect of this hobby is just learning to be satisfied with what you've made and using what you learned to get closer to your preferences next time. I'm only going back and redoing some of my designs' colors because I want to make it easier for others to choose on the patterns I sell, more than I care for just for myself. Also since I'm doing this lineart/stained glass looking approach where I go over the distinct shapes with black thread at the end, it means I get these clear delineations between sections you might not necessarily have in your own pieces, and that's ok.

Ok right. Now while shading/coloring in detail is hard with thread, you CAN make whats essentially dithered gradients. "Dithering" in the concept of art means using 2 (or more) colors to give the impression of a third color, or to gently scale between the existing binary rather than a hard line. Think of it like blocky pixel art or gameboy game images. If you're doing needlepainting, you use really small stitches close together to get this effect, which translates to "smaller pixes"--if you look at the jellyfish in my first photos that's a very messy casual version of that. If you want a better example, I recommend looking at @ammocharis 's pieces like these in her pinned post, which are truly amazing! I simply do not have the patience myself 😂 For my stained glass style, I work only in very long straight stitches, so I can only shade in one direction and have to be a little more precise with it.

So for shading, I think about in each section which direction my threads might go. Then perpendicular to that direction I pick which side will be the light one and which the darker one. Sometimes I color this in on my pattern mockup, but sometimes I don't! Or I'll only do it for certain sections to make sure I don't forget. Like for my Tower design I only colored it as flats, and waited until I selected threads to decide how the shading would go. I am currently working on a smaller, simplified version of my Hierophant design and I did add shading digitally for that one just for fun. But it's not as important as having the flat color version you can use to quick-reference how you want your design to go while you're stitching. You might also notice I don't actually color my gold--I just throw in a stock image of gold foil for that layer so I can't confuse it with any of my yellow thread sections.

Here's a close up where you can kind of see what I mean by the "dithered" effect between colors--some are more obvious (like the red on the far left or middle orange) and others pretty subtle (dark grey to dark red on the wolf face):

Now, while I use single layers of satin stitches for this, and just alternate thread colors increasing/decreasing as I go, you can accomplish the same thing with short overlapping stitches like with needlepainting, or with clusters of french knots, or whatever else. But in GENERAL you are going to be able to trick people into seeing gradients out of dithering best when you are using the same type of stitch for that whole area. So if I was using multiple stitch types like having french knots, daisy chains, ladder stitching or whatever else for some sections, I would keep those to contrasting areas/colors. A fantastic example of using different layered types of stitching to create more intricate color/texture in an embroidery would be these incredible tarot card depictions by @hattedhedgehog, which I like even better than my own embroideries. Here's his take on the Tower card as well for comparison to mine (I'm so in love with it!!!).

But anyway, at this phase, your design is actually still digital--the above is just to explain how it translates later in the process. The next step is...

STEP 3: THREAD SELECTION

I will admit here I am not great at this part. I am constantly second guessing my thread colors, and can spend over an entire hour in the thread aisle at the craft store agonizing over choices. Really, I think this is just one of those things that takes practice and you get better at it over time. What I have had the best luck with is actually printing out a reference photo of my design/the original artwork and taking it with me. If you already have threads you can do this part at home too, but DMC alone has over 500 colors and I definitely don't even own half that so I like to torture myself by looking at them all together on the thread racks. Plus Anchor and Artiste and whatever other brands there are out there. One approach is to just sit there and pick out what you want for each section and line it all up together on top of your printout. Or in the case of my Tower I laid a bunch of options out on top of my template in the hoop to guess how they'd look in the frame.

For me since I am also doing this dither shading thing, I also need 2-3 colors per sections depending on its size. Sometimes it's easy and the threads have a color just a little darker or lighter right next to them in the numerical lineup! Other times, there is no good match, or it looks too far away to shade nicely, or I want one to be a warmer or cooler tone than the other... which means a lot of standing and fretting to myself over it. I actually take a lot of photos at this stage because it can be easier to see how they will look in the end from a photo than in person to me? Idk why. Plus then after they get scrambled in my bag I remember wtf order I meant for them to go in later. But as long as you're not preventing other customers from shopping themselves, you can spend as long as you want staring at thread in the embroidery aisle and they won't kick you out unless it's closing time, so take your time.

Now, IN THEORY, you can sort of combine steps 2 and 3 by color-selecting from your threads and using that to color in the design. However I have tried this and it led to mixed success because the photoshop eyedropper brush simply isn't actually that exact (in my experience, it desaturates compared to what we actually see). And because then you have to have the threads on hand while you're coloring... which means you might buy ones you don't end up using if you don't like them. So I prefer to just use this as a refinement step where I pick threads based on the design colors, then will re-color the design a second time to match those threads more closely to be sure I like the effect.

I've even used this as a tool when I needed to adjust my color choices mid-project, by digitally coloring over over my WIP:

Or here's a design (but I haven't posted the finished piece yet bc it's a gift so shhh) I made with certain color tones initially, but after buying thread I re-did the color mockup to be more vibrant, because I liked those threads better in the store:

Once you have your thread, you can make yourself a little reference chart with the colors you intend noted on the sections you want them, like below:

(note: i didn't end up sticking to these colors because I ended up dying my own thread for several sections. And then forgot I made this entirely and picked new ones because I put the project down for a year between design and stitching. Sigh).

Or for my Solas pattern I did this in a really detailed way, which i am sorry but i have redacted because... i have it for sale now and don't wanna just give that away haha. But if you buy the pattern from my shop this is one of the files you'd get with it, for ease of reference. I do also include a text-only list of them as well.

Now I don't go to this much trouble for all my designs, just the ones I put up for sale (or plan to). You can also just make a text list of your color plans if you want. Though for fun I also have been using my scrap thread to make these little "color palette" keyrings for my finished pieces, so if I ever remake them or update their patterns I will know what the original colors were, plus I can compare what i used to other threads if I wanna change part of the design up. This step is absolutely not necessary and I'm just doing it because I'm selling the patterns now, but they are kinda fun to look at.

And don't forget.. if you start a section in a certain color and decide you don't like it, you can just cut the threads and pull them out! I did that with my original hierophant piece actually. I had an entirely different color for one row of diamonds i thought just clashed way too much with the others, so I used photoshop to paint over it with some alternate options until I found one I liked better. Then I cut away all the old threads and put in the new color. It can be a little harder to fill a piece the second time since the fabric will have stretched out a little, but as long as you're using a good stabilizer it usually doesn't move too much.

You can also just make test swatches on spare fabric to test before you add them to your real piece. I wish I'd done this for some color transitions that didn't end up looking the way I wanted, but I am simply too lazy most of the time. My exception is usually for metallic, satin, or sparkly threads, because I want to know how they feel while embroidering. But if you're really worried about a certain color or shade it's a good thing to remember you can just do.

SO yep, that's my general process for drafting patterns. I start with the shapes/design, then do my flat color version, then I pick my threads. Makes it sound easy and short when phrased like that :) But I can honestly spend 8-10 hours just on making the lineart and coloring it in. If I was better at art, probably this would be less, but I'm working with what I've got (not much) 😂 I think all aspects of this are also something that gets easier over time, but it will probably never look as bad as you worry when you start out. I think all my pieces look awkward and rough right up until I do the finishing steps and move them to the display frame sometimes.

I hope this was helpful and answered your questions!! Feel free to post/share your WIPs to ask for feedback or advice ever too :) I've only ever had people in the embroidery community on tumblr be encouraging and helpful to me, and I'm happy to answer any questions myself when I can or if parts of this were confusing

[himikochan]

Heyyo friends I wanted to share my recently finished object! I try to do at least 1 sweater a year that challenges my knitting and crafting skills. This year I picked steeking- a technique where a knitted object is sewn and cut into- and this one also delightfully used up a bunch of yarn that I had purchased in 2020 for a different project (I tried to make a pattern for a Feather and Fan dolman sleeved cardigan and there's a reason no one has done that, at least in the colorway I did, it was hideous-- that being said, I did chart out how to do an in pattern feather and fan increase so I have that tucked away).

I've recently de-stashed a lot of yarn: there's no shame in admitting that what makes you feel creative and comfortable has changed! And you should be okay with letting half-finished projects go if you don't want to finish them! My grandma has moved into a community for seniors on fixed incomes, who are often on the hunt for cheap/free crafting supplies, and the folx in her building were absolutely delighted to accept the skeins that I didn't love anymore!

I have been thinking a lot about how I want the space I live in to look; especially because I'm privileged to have been gifted so many crafting/art supplies over the years, purchased some and had my interests change, I've been on and off struggling with my mental health, and I've been really prioritizing making my space easier to keep tidy and "sparking joy" so to speak. So now my yarn stash and tools largely fits into 1 bin! I don't necessarily have projects in mind for them, but they more closely align with the colors I like to wear now, textures I like to knit with, and it's a manageable amount for me to paw through when I'm ready to cast on a new project.

All of the yarn for the abandoned dolman cardigan was saved from being re-homed and I was committed to using at least some of it because I had a good amount of it! I had purchased 5 cakes of Palette in Cosmopolitan (a fuschia fingering weight), 4 of Aloft in Cosmopolitan (a fuschia lace mohair), and 4 of Wool of the Andes Sport in Ash (a grey sport weight) from Knitpicks. I knew I wanted to make a cozy sweater out of it but the fuschia and grey color palette was a little too stark for the designs I've been into lately.

On Local Yarn Store day this year, I had picked up a skein of ColourLab DK by West Yorkshire Spinners in Tutti Frutti from Firefly Fiber Arts Studio (a self striping DK weight yarn in yellow/purple/pink/magenta/orange) because I thought it would look interesting with those colors! I DID NOT THINK ABOUT HOW THEY WERE ALL DIFFERENT WEIGHTS THOUGH!!! don't worry it ends up okay

I ended up picking the pattern Flower Power by Anna Johanna because it was a steeked color work sweater that used 3 different colors- it's meant to be knit entirely in a DK weight which is what my multicolor is. Sport weight, my grey, is a little lighter than DK but I knew wouldn't be too much of an issue. My fuschias were held together but a fingering weight and lace held together is still functionally much smaller than than a DK.

I struggle with gauge and my gauge changes as I knit, so swatching only helps me so much. My projects have a tendency to grow during blocking, especially length-wise. I was between sizes so I sized down and basically knit the length at 60% of what I wanted (so pre-blocked the sleeves were just past my elbows and they blocked out to my wrists). For the yoke, I followed the pattern as written but used size 6/4mm needles (I swapped to the recommended size 7/4.5mm for rows of a single color) because I knit my colorwork a little loosely. When I got to the body, my fingering weight was just too thin so I held it double and still sized up to size 10/6mm needles so I would have a nice cushy fabric.

I still ended up with a full cake and a half of Palette and Aloft, a half skein of ColorLab, and probably 2 of Wool of the Andes Sport. But I used so much of what I had and I have a cool new cardigan!!!

The pattern was well written and the design is super cute! I will say, the bottom half of the last set of flowers is a little tight but I suspect that's an issue with me sizing down and my gauge issues. I don't think that's a pattern issue, that's my bad, and really it just affects the drape when I raise my arms up which isn't really an issue. Additionally, if I had sized up I think the body of the sweater would have been too big for me. Maybe I should have used the bust dart option in the pattern but I didn't think it would be necessary (TL;DR it's probably my shoulders causing the issue but because of the way 3D patterning works with yokes, the tension can migrate to the chest even if you don't have a large chest).

While I like my cardigan very very very much, I can now see that these stripes weren't the best pick to show off the flower pattern. I can see the flowers more now than pre-blocked, but the stripes are a little too bold and detract a bit from the overall effect. IMO it looks like a technicolor cheetah print, which I like, but it's not the flowers I was thinking haha. The length of the dyed stripes is very long, which I normally like, but a shorter or smaller stripe might have softened the bold yellow line. Additionally, those colors are the same intensity as the grey: if I had replaced the grey with a white or light grey, the multicolor stripes might have shown more.....

This was my first time steeking and I loved it! I followed the prep instructions in the pattern and followed along with Katie Green's tutorial on cutting steeks. It was very very fun and NGL it was exhilarating cutting through something I had knitted!

The buttons also came from my stash, my mama gave them to me a few years ago :')

so like I'm feeling the normal PROJECT NAUGHTY and I LOVE PROJECT and in 2 weeks, when it's cold again, I will love them :3

.

PS I just finished writing this post and I'm a bingus and just realized this is my second sweater this year (I count the year ending on my birthday) and I never finished my post on the Soldotna sweater

PPS I tried a knitting machine at the library and I loved the experience! I think that's my new thing to learn and tinker with and, because I love the feeling of fingering weight and struggle with gauge for fingering weight, I bid on one and GOT one at a steal! It'll be here next week, thinking of names to give them :)

[shhtickerbook]

Hi, I really like the Wonka movie and love the idea of Willy being a regressor. Could you do a scenario where he's at his shop but suddenly gets trigger and regresses?

Bittersweet

thank you so much for the request! Sorry it took a while.

Trigger warning for panic attacks, mild injury description and detailed descriptions of a trauma trigger

This fic takes place where all of the The Scrub crew are all aware of Willys regression, post movie. Also in my own AU, Their found family decide to remain close to eachother and stay in town to help with the new shop / factory.

At last the rebuilt shop had been restored, it had taken time , much longer than it had previously. For a while Wonka could hardly bare to look at it, seeing everything he worked so hard for so destroyed. But with the help of his friends and new family, they managed to restore it to her former glory. It was even improved beyond its previous, with the chocolate cherry blossom bearing a prismatic array of leaves and petals. It was somehow even more perfect than before.

Everything was going perfect that day, sales were inclining everyday. Abacus becoming chief financial advisor of the store, with the Money he had earned he was able to move both his Wife and Granddaughter to come live with him here. They were all thriving brilliantly with this new future to come.

Noodle was attending a grammar school now, but every day she would come racing to the store to help out. She was busy stocking the shelves of chocolate boxes, when she saw Willy strolling down the lane, cane swinging. Sometimes he just had to take it all in around him again, grinning at this dream he’d made come true.

“We’ve only got a few of the deluxe boxes on display Willy, they were pretty popular and they probably won’t last too long.”

Willy hopped over to take a look, the truffles in question had been increasingly popular. But it shouldn’t be a problem, he had a machine upstairs that was busy pumping out more. They had been closed for some refurbishment for a little while, but at last reopening to the public, and he couldn’t be more excited. Willy made sure to make some a quick patrol around the shop, checking in with each of his friends who were working in their own stations.

“Willy get a look at this! It’s done”

Piper called over in a sing song voice, she was busy tinkering away at a panel by the moat that surrounded the chocolate tree. Before there was just the small boat that mechanically spun around in a circuit, but this time Piper and Willy had put their heads together to something much more magic. With her mastery in plumbing, she turned a wheel until a pipe burst open into the moat. Wonkas finest melted chocolate streaming out, this time the boat needing no mechanism to cycle around. It was a perfect chocolate river spiralling around the tree, Willy whooping in excitement.

“It’s perfect!”

With clasped hands and a grin, before Piper put her arm around the chocolatier with a firm pat on the back. It was great timing too, the clock rang for 9:00am. Abacus checking his own pocket watch to be sure before calling out.

“Alright, any minute now we’re going to be open to the public again. And if my findings are correct I think it will be even busier than last time! Oh and noodle, Uniform?.”

He looked over at her with a raised eyebrow, noticeably lacking the blush pink outfit. Noodle just chuckling before holding up her bag, a flash of pink fabric poking out like a flag. It had been Willy who designed such garments, everyone at first was a little unsure with how… flamboyant they were. But they quickly warmed up to them, even Abacus.

Willy just couldn’t wait for the customers to arrive, sitting himself by the glass to peer through into the gallery gourmet. In the distance seeing a cloud or people making their way up. With a smile he stood up, adjusting his new scarf over his coat, before opening the front doors.

“Welcome one and all again to the renewed Wonkas chocolate!”

-

The new grand opening was going splendidly, the chocolate river canal proving to be quite the money maker too. Only a sovereign a ride, and it created quite a line for it that wound around the shop. Which meant those waiting in line had a perfect view of everything they had on sale.

Willy had the opportunity to unveil one of his newest creations too, the everlasting gobstopper. A hard candy In which never gets smaller, no matter how much and how long you sucked on it. (Lofty had been testing one for nearly a month now)

The prismatic coloured candy was stacked into a pyramid in its new display, Noodle working the station. They were making the most money they had ever had, but that didn’t matter much to Willy. What mattered to him was being able to share his joy and magic with those willing to indulge. And this time he didn’t have the chocolate cartel to worry about, his shop was bound to become the star of the Gallery Gourmet.

“Oi Mr Wonka!”

Willy was alerted by a boy tugging on his tail coat, turning to see a familiar face. It was the young shoe shine lad he had been stopped by multiple times on his first day here.

“Where are them swirly chocolate things? Me Mam loves them.”

Willy chuckled, surprised that the boy wasn’t trying to proposition him with a shoe shine or a brush of his coat. He already had chocolate smeared across his mouth, clearly been at the free samples.

“The chocolate truffles I think you’re referring to, are just over by the display over there young man. But try and save some for your Mother though”

Willy pointed his cane in the direction of the now dwindling boxes of truffles. The boy giving him a doff of his cap before turning on heel, Willy returning it with his own top hat. He decided to go check in with Abacus, he was just finishing up with a customer. The cashier ringing joyfully as he dropped coins inside, Abacus just couldn’t believe how much they were making.

“I’d say we’ve already made double of what he did last time Willy, especially with the new gobstoppers.”

Willy grinned, everything just felt so perfect. With the extra money, he planned to raise his friend’s wages. And although she wasn’t aware, Willy had begun to collect a fund. One for Noodle, he had already promised her a lifetime of chocolate. But with the girls smarts and potential, he wanted her to have most in life. The money was for her future, if she wanted to pursue any kind of career. She had done so much for her, he wanted to do the very same for her own future.

Before he could respond, a scream cut through their conversation. The sudden noise startling Willy, almost feeling his stomach drop into his shoes. Over on the other side of the store, a crowd had grown around a young boy. A boy who was red in the face, spluttering and choking. The exact boy that Willy had spoken to just moments ago.

Abacus immediately dropped what he was doing, racing over and pushing through the crowd. Willy knew he should follow, make sure the boy was alright. It was his store, the owner.

But he didn’t, he stood there completely catatonic.

No, no. Not again, it can't happen again.

In preparation for the new opening, Willy had obsessively checked and taste tested each product. So much so that he’d gone to bed with an exceptionally sore stomach. Everything was safe, he was sure everything was safe. Abacus, Lottie and Noodle were all kneeling by the young man, Before Abacus called out.

“Call for an ambulance-“

The shop itself was spinning, and it wasn’t just the chocolate canal ride. Willy was sure that the ground itself was falling away beneath him. An ambulance? Before it had just been multicoloured hair growth or green skin pigmentation, nothing life threatening. Nothing ever in need of any medical attention.

What had he done? It’s not as if the chocolate cartel could be involved like last time. It was his fault, it had to be his fault. He felt sick, face turned white as a sheet. He lost track of how long he’d been staring, but Noodle had noticed him through the crowd and immediately ran to her elder brother figure once the boy was being taken away.

“Willy? Willy!”

She tried to get his attention, but the chocolatiers eyes were fixed ahead. His lips were trembling with his head shaking, it was scaring her. She tried her best to reassure him, knowing what he’d be thinking.

“It’s okay, Willy you didn’t-“

He broke eye contact with the scene, looking down at her with his head shaking even more violently. His eyes flooded with tears as he began to step backwards, almost like a frightened animal.

“No, nono. Not again it can’t happen- won’t happen again”

He started mumbling out almost psychotically, flinching away from noodle when she tried to touch him. Both arms up with his hands and fingers flicking in panic. It was all his fault, that young boy might even die because he had done something wrong. He had no one to blame this time, what would mamma think?

He couldn’t hear anything around him anymore, it was just static. Everything was spinning and blurring, stumbling and tripping over things as he continued to backtrack. He needed to get away, he was a coward. A coward in which had probably killed or seriously injured a child with his stupid dreams.

Noodle tried again desperately to get his attention, waving a hand in his face. It was terrifying, he didn’t look like himself. He just continued to mutter and whimper to himself, his head shaking so hard that it may pop off his shoulders. She tried to hold onto his hand again but he recoiled away in disgust like she was diseased. No matter what she was saying, it wasn’t getting through.

“Willy! You’re scaring me, let me explain-“

But he wasn’t listening, holding his hands close up to his chest protectively. His cane clattering loudly to the ground, now without his mobility aid as he kept stepping back.

He needed to get away, now. Gasping for air, he stumbled backwards, feeling for the door into the backroom of the store. But he felt into midair instead, losing his balance and crashing into one of the shelves instead.

He yelped out in surprise, the back of his head hitting wood as a one of the glass jars wobbled from its shelving before crashing down over him. The further stimulation only worsening Willys condition. Noodle screamed and attempted to grab onto him before he fell, but couldn’t in time. Shards of glass and candy fell about him like snowflakes, But Wonka hardly noticed, far too panicked and overstimulated to care about any pain.

The commotion attracted even more attention in the shop, customers looking over to see the owner sitting in a pile of glass shards. As quickly as it happened, Willy somehow managed to get back to his feet, splintering his hands and arms with the glass in panic. In a rush he managed to pull open the back door and escape from everything. Behind him he could hear people calling his name, but unable to differentiate whether it was his friends or angry rioting customers. Noodle just stood there, not sure if she should follow. Deciding instead to enlist some support before attempting to talk with him like this.

Willy’s legs felt like jelly, so he didn’t make it very far. Falling into a heap on the floor, before gasping desperately for air. He couldn’t breathe properly, tears pouring down his face before he burst into sobs. Every single terrible outcome and scenario was racing around Wonkas brain. Did he not check the ingredients correctly? What if the boy wasn’t the only one in distress? They would for sure close down the store, maybe even arrest him. It was all his fault, it was happening all over again and there was nothing he could do about it.

-

Once the child was loaded into the ambulance, the employees of Wonkas Chocolate thought it best to close up shop for today. Abacus had spoken with the ambulance attendant, who had assured him that the boy was going to be alright. It was a huge relief to everybody, and although fellow customers seemed a little unsettled by the event, it was no where near like the angry mob from before. The only irritation coming from the announcement of their early closure. Both Abacus and Piper were guiding shoppers out the front door when Noodle approached both of them, looking extremely distressed.

“It’s Willy, he’s- he’s not okay”

-

Wonka was still so deep into a panic attack, so that when the door opened and his friends entered, he hardly noticed.

Noodle gasped at the sight of him, his cut up hands from the glass had begun to bleed horribly over his hands and arms, ruining his velvet jacket. The chocolatier was curled up into a ball, hyperventilating between cries.

Noodle couldn’t help but hold onto Pipers hand, she wasn’t good with blood. Benz squeezed her hand back reassuringly, they all too often forgot she was still a child herself. So Abacus approached first, kneeling in front of the panicked boy.

“Willy, it’s alright. It’s not what you think. The boy is going to be okay.”

But It didn’t seem like Abacus’ words were getting through, He had to physically take ahold of Willys hands before he would any pay attention, his bloodshot eyes snapping up. It hurt his heart to see him like this.

“He— is. Okay?”

Willy managed to choke out between gasps, Noodle pulled away from piper to sit on the floor too, a hand comfortingly on his knee as she looked with concern. Willy Wonka was the strongest person she’d ever met, seeing him like this, it was scary.

“Yeah Willy, he just had a peanut allergy-“

Willy blinked hard, shaking his head again.

“Bb-ut I mmade a sign- i forgot to put them up?”

He began to spiral yet again, he did remember creating such labels, as it was Noodles idea. He thought it terrible luck for those who had such afflictions. But he wanted to include everyone to enjoy his creations as much as he could. With plenty of his other treats being free from such ingredients. They were even placed on the other side of the store especially to reduce any cross contamination. Had he forgotten to properly label something?

“Seems the young chap just wasn’t paying too much attention, just grabbing at any free sample he could find. It’s not your fault.”

Abacus gently rubbed the back of his hand with his thumb, before sucking through his teeth at the state of them. Willy was struggling to process this new information, his body and brain had already accepted the fact that this was all his fault.

“You need to breath Willy, in and out”

Noodle demonstrated, breathing in and blowing gently out onto his hot teary face. Willy looked up, still taking in short shallow breaths. He attempted to follow her guide, but halfway fell back into the hyperventilation.

“It’s okay buddy, try again”

Piper had come to kneel down too, smiling sadly at the sorry sight of him. It was strange seeing such a positive character so distraught. It ended up taking quite few minutes for the breathing exercises to help, with Willy leaning against Abacus as he did his best to follow his friends instructions.

At last the hyperventilation had slowed but Willy was still shaking. Biting down hard on his lower lip, tears continuing to cascade down his cheeks silently. Clicking his tongue sympathetically, Abacus pat his shaking knee. It was clearly going to take a little while for Willy to accept that this wasn’t his fault.

“You’ve had a bit of a fright, haven’t you?”

He couldn’t help but feel a little embarrassed by his overreaction. But even with the reassurance that the boy would be alright, the anxiety was still lingering like little bugs racing up and down his skin. He was also beginning to feel that fuzzy sensation in his head again. It was like the scare had flipped a switch in his head, so he just nodded mournfully.

“Oh you poor lad”

Abacus tutted sympathetically, turning his attention to the injuries too. Gently lifting his arms to peer at them, surface wounds thankfully yet still very painful looking.

At least those could be easily fixed. Then turned to Piper with a knowing look, both of them having the same suspicion of his seemingly regressive headspace.

“We best get him upstairs to the flat, would you mind Benz?”

The woman nodded, before patting Noodle on the shoulder. Who was still staring at Willy with concern and anxiety.

“Hey noodle, how about you go help Larry and Lottie wrap up the store? We’ll take care of Willy”

Noodle wasn’t sure at first, looking back at her friend who was still in quite an upset state. but she was a little grateful for the opportunity. Seeing Willy so traumatised and bloody wasn’t an easy thing for a 13 year old to look at, especially when it was somebody she loved so much. So she quickly lunged forward to hug him tight, bearing in mind to be gentle around his arms. Even in the hug she could feel him shaking still, Willy only managing to weakly return it. When she stood up to leave she hesitated for a moment, watching as Abacus helped him onto his jittering legs.

“We’ll get him all sorted dear, you go help with the store..”

Abacus reassured her, Nodding after one more hesitant glance. She trusted them to look after Willy, they all cared for him so.

“Now then, let’s get you upstairs.”

Piper held the chocolatier up, watching how his legs were knocked kneed like a newborn fawn. Holding an arm over him to help him move on forward.

“Mmsorry”

Willy mumbled. Although he could sense the obvious regression taking its hold, he felt like such a silly burden. But when he they came up to his spiral staircase to his flat, he couldn’t help but moan. His stupid legs felt completely useless, almost like they were made from gummy candy.

“It’s okay buddy, but I don’t think these stairs are gonna be the smartest plan for you right now”

Before he could respond, he yelped as he was lifted up, then being settled on the plumbers hip. Seeing her grin mischievously as she held him steady. Willys face burning in surprise, but the action just made him feel even more fuzzy.

“How can someone who eats mainly chocolate be so little? He’s like a bird?”

Piper hushed over Willy to Abacus, who just chuckled at the comment.

“Little I think is definitely the correct adjective for right now, the poor boy's had such a fright"

There was a part of Willy that wanted to object to the accusation that he was feeling little, but even he knew they were likely right. He needed it terribly. And now that the adrenaline of everything was fading, he could truly feel the pain in his arms. Eyes widening in fear when taking actual sight of them, he didn’t like blood.

So he just squeezed his eyes shut right, pushing his head into pipers shoulder. The woman in question looking over at Abacus at the action, lips pursed at just how adorable this was. If it weren’t for such a bad situation, she would be skipping in joy. Why Willy had decided to implement such a fancy staircase (when he often needed his cane) was beyond them. Sometimes the chocolatier forgot about practicality, always wanting the extravaganza.

-

At last they made it upstairs to a landing, Abacus opening the mahogany door into Wonkas flat. The inside was extremely cosy, its interior inspired from his old canal boat home from when he was a child. A sloped curved ceiling with lots of warm colours and carved wooden decor. It was pretty simple and homey, the kitchenette and lounge taking up the room. A very large window looked down below to the gallery gourmet, with a small workshop set up against it, an ornate machine churning out singular chocolates. Then finally Willy’s bed up a few steps to an upper level of the room itself.

There was were two other doors on either side of the reasonably size room, one normal one leading to a bathroom. The other door abnormally small? Only around a metre in height. But that didn’t matter just now, the pair walking further inside before Piper settled Willy down on the couch.

“There we go, home and safe now.”

She comforted, hating how fragile and anxious he seemed. The presence of his home brought some comfort though, Willy reaching out to stroke the ribbed corduroy fabric of his lounge. Not before Abacus quickly lifted his hands away in alarm.

“Ah-ah! I’m sorry Willy but I will not have you smearing blood into that furniture”

He chastised only gently, the pale pink fabric being very easy to stain, and even harder to wash out.

“Wasn’t gonna..”

Willy mumbled, but his eyes did widen when he peered at his injured hands again. They were starting to really sting now, and he could catch the shiny glint of glass that was still imbedded.

“I should hope not, that chaise lounge just so happens to be one of my favourite pieces of decor in this accommodation”

A sharp pertinent voice cut through, not before Piper let out a yelp in surprise. Standing between them was a very small orange man, who just rolled his eyes at the reaction.

“Oh please Ms Benz, you have squealed many times at my presence. I’m tired of being revered like a mouse around a circus elephant”

The Oompa Loompa was holding an empty teacup in hand, he was only departing from his own room to tidy it away. Not expecting the flat to suddenly be busy with uninvited guests.

“Well if I’m the ‘circus elephant’ in that analogy, I’d be careful I don’t send you through that window with the kick of my boot.”

Piper threatened, stamping her foot in his direction. She wasn’t so keen on Lofty, his uptight attitude drove her up the wall. And she still hadn’t got used to his small presence, maybe it was because when he was a child she used to have nightmares and a very irrational fear of gnomes of all things.

Abacus himself also was a little surprised by the little orange man’s entrance, but was able to behave more tactfully than Piper. He’d only spoken with Lofty very little, the Oompa Loompa preferring much more to stay to himself with his job in the tasting department.

“Now would somebody care to explain what has happened here?”

Lofty came to the front to peer at Willy, grimacing at the sight of his injury. But he was even more curious about the strange manner that Wonka seemed to be in. Willy had tucked his knees to his chest as he anxiously flicked his fingers, he certainly wasn’t his usual overly positive and often irritating self.

“We had a bit of a situation in the shop, poor lad went into anaphylaxis. He’s going to be alright, but Willy here got quite the fright”

Lofty raised his eyebrows, it still didn’t quite explain the bloody arms though. But the possibility of that lounge being stained was his main concern.

“I’ll go fetch my first aid kit before he gets blood on anything else in here that I have the slightest attachment to.”

Lofty said with mild disgust before turning on heel to his room. Willy himself still looked pretty miserable, but more exhausted than anything. Piper just wanted to scoop the boy up into her lap and squeeze him tight, although she wasn’t sure if it would be appreciated right now. The group was then startled for a moment from a noise clearly coming from downstairs, a creaking metal noise.

“BENZ! WE TRIED TO TURN THE CHOCOLATE VALVE OFF BUT ITS NOW STUCK AT MAX PRESSURE”

A whiny yell came out clearly from a distressed Larry chucklesworth who had turned the chocolate river valve in the wrong direction, doubling its pressure as it pumped out melted chocolate.

“For Petes sake! I’m coming you idiot!.”

Piper sighed out in exasperation, pinching her brow. She had specifically told everybody not to touch it, she was still sorting out all the kinks. She did catch a small giggle coming from Willy though, happy to see at least it had made him smile.

“I better go sort out that mess downstairs, you be good for Abacus and that sunburnt gnome”

She leant down and gave him a peck on the cheek, wishing she could spend some more time with the little chocolatier. Turning Willys face bright pink, unable to hide a smile at the affection. As Piper turned to leave, she had to quickly jump at the arrival of Lofty yet again. Whom arms were filled with a leather first aid kit, rolling his eyes at the woman who quite nearly flattened him beneath her boots.

“If you could please move to the floor, I’m not risking anything with that lounge.”

Lofty demanded, Looking up at the two remaining men as best he could from behind the first aid case. Willy obeyed and slid down to the floor, sitting crosslegged. His head was feeling very fuzzy now, and he looked up at abacus with whine, wanting him to sit too.

“I think I’ll just sit here if you don’t mind Lad, I don’t think I could get back up from the floor if I sat down”

Abacus chuckled, perching instead on the couch. But still kept a comforting hand on his shoulder, gently massaging back and forth to soothe him. Lofty had been watching the interaction with a raised brow, something was certainly going on. So as he began to unpack some supplies, he bluntly questioned.

“Alright, if I could be informed of what’s going on right here, it would be very much appreciated. I’m quite positive this reaction is far beyond than a child choking on a peanut, especially with those injuries of which still nobody has explained how they came to be.”

He curtly asked, whilst pulling out some bandages, gentian violet and some tweezers for those glass shards. Abacus awkwardly cleared his throat, looking over at Willy whose face had darkened. Although the Oompa Loompa had been residing with him for a while now, his regression was something that he hadn’t yet disclosed with him. Although all his friends had been amazingly supportive and loving, it was still a very peculiar topic to try and explain. Lofty was already quite judgemental most of the time, what if he found this weird and gross?

Willy brought his knees up to his chest anxiously, staying silent in a panic. He didn’t want Lofty to hate him. But he felt a gentle squeeze on his shoulder, Abacus smiling kindly.

“Would you like me to explain?”

He suggested, especially since it seemed the boy wasn’t feeling so verbal right now. Willy looked up and thought about it for a moment, before giving him a nod. He didn’t know how to put his words right for this. All the while Lofty has continued to observe the interaction, shoe tapping on the floor impatiently.

“Alright, i believe you should know regardless as you share a residency with Willy. Sometimes when he gets overwhelmed, Mr Wonka finds it a little hard to stay grown.”

Abacus carefully explained to the little orange man across from him, who frowned in confusion.

“Grown? I can’t see any sign of him shrinking in size, he looked to be the same height as before since I last checked.”

The Oompa Loompa positioned both hands into a viewfinder over the chocolatier, nope, still the same size. Abacus couldn’t help but laugh at the misunderstanding, wishing this could be easier to explain.

“No not in physical size, more like he feels a little younger. Where he needs a little extra care and support, like a child.”

At this point Willy wanted to sink through the floor, not daring to check the Oompa Loompas facial expression. Instead picking at the fabric of his slacks, the small bigger part of him wanted to end this conversation and say that Abacus was just talking utter nonsense, but he didn’t have the energy to do so. He was tired, all he wanted was for his arms to stop hurting and for someone to hold him for a while.

“So what you’re saying that Mr Wonka here regresses to infancy when unsettled?”

Lofty questioned the man, it was difficult to discern his tone. After all, most of the time when he spoke it sounded as if you had offended him in some way. But when he looked at the mannerisms and body language of Willy, he certainly seemed very different than usual.

“Well, when you put it bluntly. Yes you’re correct, but I hope that you won’t be too judgemental. This is something Mr Wonka cannot help, and we shouldn’t be cruel about it.”

Abacus’s voice began to become colder as he finished his sentence, it wasn’t something Willy was used to ever hearing, looking up in slight alarm. Abacus was staring down at the Oompa Loompa almost threateningly, daring him to respond. In response, Lofty snorted after a pause.

“Hm, very peculiar I must say, but I suppose he already acts rather immaturely most of the time regardless.”

Was all he said before completely moving on, returning to prepare the first aid equipment. Acting as if Abacus had just requested he pass the sugar over to him. Both Willy and Abacus were surprised by well, the lack of reaction.

“Now then, please take off that coat show me your arms. I need to know what I’m working with here”

Willy paused for a moment, still expecting some kind of response, insult or anything. But let Abacus carefully ease him out of the blood soaked jacket before displaying his arms outwards, with the Oompa Loompas only sign of disgust so far being directed at the injuries.

“Goodness you’ve made quite the mess of yourself haven’t you?”

Abacus nodded in agreement, before wincing when seeing the state of them properly in the light.

“Indeed, he took a bit of a tumble into one of the displays. One of our crystal chocolate jars paying the price.”

Lofty just sighed, typical Wonka behaviour. He’d never met a person so terminally clumsy sometimes and foolish.

“Of course he did, now I’m going to need you to stay very still. I’m going to remove these glass shards before they get infected.”

He held up the tweezers, Willy shrinking away in alarm at the metal instrument. He didn’t want it to hurt. But Abacus rubbed his back supportively, assuring him it would be fine. As promised, Lofty was impeccably careful as he removed each tiny shard from his arms and hands, his very small hands working in his favour for the task. Back in Loompa land he had a friend whom was the islands herbalist, so he only had some experience when it came to medicine.

He placed each glinting piece into a dish by the table, and once satisfied there was none remaining he reached for the little purple bottle.

“This is an antiseptic I assume?”

Lofty questioned the mathematician, handing the violet bottle up to him. The man pulled a face when reading the label, knowing from experience that this stung viciously.

“Alright, this may sting a little”

-

It did in fact sting quite a lot, as soon as Lofty applied the purple tonic. Willy yelping and flinching away. The pain had just begun to settle when they’d reached upstairs, but now it felt as if someone had set a match upon his skin. And with how sensitive he was already feeling, fresh tears began to spill over and he did his best to squirm away.

“Now i understand it hurts, but it will feel a lot worse later if you don’t allow me to finish Mr Wonka”

In the end Abacus ended up having to retreat from the couch, Willy positioning himself into his lap for security from the horrible anti-septic. He was perhaps feeling the smallest he ever had, and even with Lofty there he didn’t have the willpower to mask it. Eventually with enough comforting words and support from Abacus, Lofty had successfully painted either arm and hand with the bright purple medicine.

“See, we’re done now. There was no need for that silly nonsense”

Lofty chastised as he screwed the cap on the glass bottle again, but he still didn’t seem very fussed about the dramatic change in headspace. More irritated by what he deemed was a bit of an overreaction. Next reaching for the roll of bandages, but this time Willy was much more reproachful about offering his arms back over to the Oompa Loompa, scowling at him best he could.

“I don’t appreciate that expression directed at me, I was just going to wrap your arms up. Unless of course you would prefer Mr Crunch to do so?”

He spoke with crossed arms, but found the grumpy expression slightly entertaining. Especially with his forlorn tearstained face which worked against his attempt to be threatening.

“I could if you’d prefer, but that would mean i would need to tip you from my lap to do so.”

Abacus explaining his options, thanking heaven above regardless that the man was very light and he was only losing partial blood flow to his legs.

“But you are certainly not welcome in my own, I’ve been in danger of being crushed once too many times today.”

Willy thought about it for moment, finding the embrace around him far too comfortable to give up quite just yet. So reluctantly pointed at lofty rather rudely.

“He do it”

“Can Lofty do it please would be much politer thank you very much”

He corrected with a firm expression, but began to unroll the bandages regardless. Carefully he applied the bandage around each skinny arm, all the while Willy just back leant into Abacus throughout the process. He was so tired, all he wanted was to sleep. By the time Lofty was finished, the boy was practically half asleep.

“That’s you done now, very brave”

Willy dozily inspected his new bound arms, before letting out a big yawn. Even lofty finding it a little endearing, revealing out a small smile before quickly replacing it with his usual frown.

“I think we best get you tucked up for a little rest, shall we?”

Willy nodded, and reluctantly allowed Abacus to tip him off his lap so he could stand again. The poor gentleman groaned in pain as he stood up, he was certainly far too old for this.

“Mm-head hurts”

Wonka mumbled out, his skull feeling as if it had been stuffed with cotton wool. Infact most of his body was starting to feel very sore and weak.

“Well no wonder it hurts with all that silly crying, but I give you permission to return to that lounge. Now that it’s no longer in danger of being stained by bodily fluids.”

Lofty said distastefully, motioning for Willy to get up and move. Kindly Abacus helping him up to his feet again, which was desperately needed as he had forgotten his cane downstairs in the store.

He practically collapsed back down onto the couch, sighing in relief to finally be lying down. His entire body felt as if it had been put through the laundry ringer at scrubbits. A few moments later he felt Abacus tuck a thick blanket around his frame, the one that had been stretched across his bed.

In his dozing state, he instinctively reached out for something. Face screwing up a little when realising it obviously wasn’t going to be there.

“What on earth are you looking for?”

Lofty questioned, clearly seeing the man feeling around in complete thin air.

“Chester”

Willy mumbled out , he was so tired but he still needed his companion, especially right now. Lofty’s slow blink was practically audible, shaking his head before turning to the mathematician who had busied himself with folding up the velvet jacket. Planning on taking it back personally to soak it out, even though he’d left the laundry business, it still stuck with him.

“Would you mind translating what on earth he is requesting?”

Abacus just smiled, remembering that name very clearly. So he just pointed up at the bed, knowing it would he the most likely location.

“Check underneath the pillow of Mr Wonkas bed.”

With a raised eyebrow and a lot of confusion, the Oompa Loompa reluctantly followed the direction. Only feeling more lost when lifting the pillow and finding the contents beneath.

“Is this some kind of rag?”

He held up a small knitted bird with an extended arm, its head lolling to the side rather unsettlingly. Willy spotted the item immediately though, lifting his own head up from the couch with a whine.

“Chester..”

Loftys confused frown remained, able to put together the clues that this amalgamation of wool must be “Chester” Mr Wonka did seem very concerned about it though, so he quickly handed it over to him. The little bird being clung close to his chest, with its misshapen beak poking out under his chin. It was all so ludicrous, it was just a silly inanimate object.

But he saw how the boy began to settle again at its presence. Eyes closing at last as his breathing became slower and deeper. For the first time since he’d seen the man that afternoon, he looked genuinely at peace. From behind him he heard the accountant approaching, who was holding two cups of tea, one being marginally smaller.

“Think we could both do with one”

Lofty accepted the offer, the pair sitting in the kitchenette. Both of them looking over at the now fast asleep chocolatier on the lounge. A comfortable silence between the two as they just took the time to wind down, the scene would probably look extremely strange to an any outsider if they happened to wander inside. Abacus smiled fondly as he noticed the knitted toucans wing being gently chewed on as Wonka slept.

“Thank you, for being understanding about this. This is a part of him that not many know or care to understand, but I believe it’s something very special to be trusted with”

He said to the Oompa Loompa, who had also been observing the chocolatiers behaviour. It was rather fascinating.

“But, I won’t hold it against you if this is a little too strange for you. This manner of coping is certainly unconventional”

He continued, wanting to assure him. He remembered that Noodle had been a little apprehensive about it all when he first explained the regression to her. And Willy had been extremely firm in the fact that he never wanted to be a burden to anybody or make them feel uncomfortable. Lofty stayed silent for a few moments, draining the cup of tea before answering.

“You are speaking with somebody who comes from a tropical island populated only by 2ft tall orange men. I think you would find good reason to label me as a hypocrite if i were to judge Mr Wonka negatively for this.”

He paused in his statement, looking over again at the boy with the smallest of a smile

“Is it a little peculiar? Definitely, but I suppose we all must learn to be open minded when it comes to things we don’t quite understand yet.

And on one hand, I may find it a little endearing too, at least he’s less irritating than usual, aside from all the tears.”

And with that, he turned again to the man across the table. Nonchalant as always.

“Anyways, how about you go hunting for some of those truffles. I’m sure Wonka always hides them out of my reach”

[hongcherry]

pretty please (stay with me) || c.sc | 2

“After being assigned a fashion show for your big senior project, you set off to find volunteers to make it successful. However, when you meet Choi Seungcheol and his unfriendly clique through your volunteers, you realize they’re an unwanted package deal you can’t escape from. Can you handle Seungcheol’s obnoxious friends, and can he handle your brash behavior?”

🍒 Pairing: businessMajor!Seungcheol x fashionMajor!Reader (f)

🍒 Rating/Genres/AUs: M(18+); Slice of life (!!!), slow burn, drama, fluff, angst; Unrequited enemies to lovers, strangers to lovers, college au

🍒 Warnings: General tws + none? regular drama, cursing... lmk if i missed something tho!

🍒 WC: 12.4k

🍒 Betas: Sarah, Indi, Kelly, Freya 💙

🍒 Author’s Note: Thank you for the support so far! This chapter is a little more chill compared to what's to come ^-^

also read here: AO3 | Wattpad

seventeen masterlist | main masterlist

previous chapter \\ series masterpost // next chapter

Coming home to find your mother in the living room a few days later was not something you could have foreseen.

Her suitcases are by the front door, and her shoes are tossed in different directions. She and your father are in a heated argument; your sister is nowhere in sight.

“Oh, hi, dear,” your mother greets when she hears the door open. Her voice turns sweet, contrasting how it was a few seconds ago. She turns away from your dad, spreading her arms with a smile as if she wasn’t just yelling. Your father grabs one of her outstretched arms and pulls her back.

“You don’t get to hug her,” he hisses before looking at you. “To your room, Yn.”

“Where’s Seoah?” you wonder, ignoring his order.

“At a friend’s. Now, go to your room.”

“Don’t talk to her like that,” your mother chimes in. Despite sounding defiant, she retracts her arms from you before she can even touch you. “How are you, sweetie?”

Your brain is whirling with confusion. You aren’t sure if you’re happy or annoyed she’s back. Her trips usually last for several months, maybe a year or two at most, but she always comes back. Sometimes you wish she didn’t. Her attendance never brings comfort, even if you want it to.

“I-I’m fine,” you answer. “What are you doing here?”

“She’s leaving,” your father says, pointing to the door as he looks at your mother. “Now.”

“Just let me stay for one night,” your mother pleads with her eyes on your dad. “I can find somewhere else tomorrow.”

Your dad glowers at her. “I’m tired of you treating this place like a hotel. If you wanted to stay, you shouldn’t have left.”

This conversation again.

Your parents are still married, perhaps because of the divorce cost or custody decisions, but it feels like it is an open marriage. Your mother never tells you if she has another partner, but some of her pictures from her trips are questionable at times. Additionally, your dad has never brought home anyone, but you won’t be surprised if he has gone out to find one. 

Well, you wouldn’t have been surprised in the past. However, the present is different. He is nose-deep in his work. He claims it’s because he is trying to provide for you and your sister, which you’re sure has some factor in it, but he’s also probably trying to distract himself from his own personal demons. You were never that close with him to begin with, and your relationship only worsened when your mother left. You know he cares, but not as much as you wish he does.

Their argument fades out as you stand staring at them. You doubt anything will get resolved. Taking in a sorrowful breath, you turn around and leave the house.

The café you usually visit is nearby. It’s the perfect place to study or hang out with friends, as the atmosphere is peaceful. The food is reasonably priced and not too bad as well.

You find a spot in the corner and settle down.

The sketches for your outfits are coming together. You planned to go to a fabric store later this week to pick out a few yards of fabric. Luckily, your college has collaborated with several stores around to provide the students participating in the show discounts. Most are generous discounts too.

Once you are done going over your sketches, you double-check your to-do list. Jeonghan and Minghao are making good progress with the promotional items. Music, on the other hand, is a little more difficult. You haven’t found the right sound yet, but you’ve scheduled a meeting with Jihoon soon.

You sit your iPad on the table and rest your head in your hands. This project is challenging you in ways you didn’t expect. You simply want to create clothes, not deal with all the tiny other details of a runway show. Thinking back to the start of it has you remembering what you’ve been through these past few months. 

You hate how much you think of Seungcheol at this moment. He has been the biggest surprise of them all.

He isn’t even helping you with your project, yet you have seen him so many times, he might as well be. You’re not sure when you started to tolerate his presence, but somewhere along the way, he grew to be one of the few people you wanted to see more.

And that corny nickname he gave you… Why does part of you like it? Damn, you wish you weren't thinking of him. Your thoughts of him are getting so bad. You can hear his voice—could hear that ridiculous laugh that makes you want to join in with him.

The contagious laugh is so prominent in your mind that you swear it’s right next to you.

Goodness. Even when he has no reason to be in your thoughts, he finds a way to squirm in. Or maybe you just find excuses to bring him in. Nevertheless, the latter is something you don’t want to admit to.

You regain focus on your iPad with the aim of distracting yourself. You’re about two minutes into sketching another outfit when he who should not be mentioned's voice sounds in your head again.

It’s so clear and getting louder. It’s repeating your name, spreading an odd warmth through your chest.

“Are you ignoring me?”

A hand touches your forearm, causing you to loosen your grip on your stylus. It rolls off the edge of the table into a person’s hand. Your gaze follows up the arm until it rests on their face.

Seungcheol chuckles at your startled expression.

“You okay, Cherry?” he asks with mirth.

Have you thought of him so much that you somehow manifested his presence? Irritated at the lack of control over your thoughts, you snatch the pen from his grasp. If only you could rein in your thoughts as well.

“What are you doing here?” you question, glancing behind his shoulder. For once, you don’t see his business clique. Your shoulders ease at this, not ever wanting to see them after what happened. The only person you see is a tall man with stunning features. He’s watching Seungcheol, so you guess they’re together.

Since your show project is never far from your mind, you take a mental note to ask him to be one of your models before he leaves.

“Just passing by,” he shrugs, then glances at your iPad. “That looks nice so far.”

Your gaze cast down at your sketch again. There is just a figure with a long, flowy skirt. Nothing extravagant.

“Thanks,” you reply slowly, but it sounds more like a question.

This time it’s his turn to ask, “What are you doing here?”

“Needed a different environment to work in,” you answer. It isn’t a lie, but you aren’t going to disclose why you need a different environment in the first place. Family drama is never a conversation you enjoy having. And you definitely aren’t going to have it with him. Even if you two are getting closer, he isn’t on Dae’s level of friendship.

“Ah,” he pauses and before he can say anything else, you speak up.

“Who’s your friend?”

Seungcheol peers over his shoulder as if he needs a reminder of who he’s with. “Mingyu.”

“You think you can bring him over?”

He snaps his eyes back to you; they’re slightly wide, briefly before narrowing. “Why? You’re going to try to seduce him?”

Are you just imagining the bitterness hidden behind his teasing tone?

“He is handsome,” you observe. You drift your attention to Mingyu. His dark hair is pushed behind his ears, a few strands hanging in front of his face. He wears a short-sleeved shirt that exposes his muscles. You hope he wasn’t asked to be someone else’s model already.

Seungcheol doesn’t seem amused by your response.

“Yeah? Get in line, Cherry. He gets a lot of people batting their eyelashes at him.”

“Is that why you hang out with him? You’re trying to get his leftovers?” A smirk grows on your face as you look back at him.

Seungcheol stares down at you with an unreadable expression. “I don’t need his leftovers.”

“Then where’s your line of people batting their eyelashes?” you challenge.

“Right here,” he taunts, eyes sparkling with vain as he leans over your table to get closer.

You scoff at his answer and move away from him. You need space to think clearly. “I am not batting my eyelashes at you, Seungcheol.”

“Maybe not,” he says, “but you have your own ways of showing your affection.”

“Like?” you raise an eyebrow. The only thing you feel like you’re showing him is an annoyed look.

“Like not telling me to go away when you first saw me.”

“That’s affection to you?” you laugh in disbelief.

Seungcheol shakes his head. “I’m telling you that’s how you show affection. I think I’m growing on you, Cherry.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes and instead give him a scowl. You move farther away from him to show you definitely aren’t growing a liking for him—even if your heart hints otherwise.

“You will never grow on me. Not with those ‘friends’ of yours,” you reply.

“Hey, they’re doing you a favor,” he says, bemused at your sudden hostility toward them.

“Not those friends,” you sigh. Does he really need to be told which group of people you are talking about? Surely, he doesn’t think his business friends are such saints to not consider them.

“They just aren’t used to your people,” he reasons before sitting down across from you.

You give him a pointed look. “My people?”

“You know, the flashy fashion and such,” he says and gestures at your outfit as if to make a point; it’s another fit that “normal” people won’t wear for everyday attire.

“So that gives them the green light to insult me constantly?” you question, a little astonished at how he’s defending them. You understand they’re his friends, but is he so far up their asses he can’t see just how ugly their personalities are?

“You know you’re not all sunshine and rainbows, too, right?” he retorts.

You have to force your jaw not to drop. “Oh, I’m sorry. Next time I’ll let them say all the shit they want to and not defend myself since, evidently, no one else will.”

The indirect jab at Seungcheol doesn’t go unnoticed by him.

“I told them to stop,” he frowns, thinking back to the lounge.

“Ah right, how could I forget? How silly of me,” you answer sarcastically. Although he did try to stop them, you feel he could’ve done more—maybe been more assertive. You feel he isn’t one hundred percent on your side, and that hurts you more than it should.

You make sure your iPad is locked before you stuff it in your bag along with your stylus. This isn’t how you wanted, nor imagined, your conversation with Seungcheol to go.

“You just gave them a bad first impression. You weren’t very friendly when we first met.”

You pause in your movements as your mind whirls back to seeing him at Jeonghan’s door instead of Minghao.

“Neither were your friends,” you recall.

“They would’ve been nicer if you—”

“I really can’t believe you’re defending them right now.”

“I’m just saying you all have some issues that need to be solved, and not everyone has been on their best behavior,” he sighs.

Your eyes scan his face, sensing the trouble he’s going through at being in the middle of two sides. It’s then you realize he will never have your back completely due to his conflict of interests. 

This shouldn’t bother you.

You had planned to never talk to him again once you were done working with his friends on your project, yet there is a tightening feeling in your chest that doesn’t make you smile. Some part of you is starting to oppose that original idea.

“I doubt these ‘issues’ will ever be resolved,” you reply, tossing your bag’s strap over your shoulder.

“Why not? We can all talk it through,” he says quickly, so you can’t leave. The look of hope on his face has you considering it for a split second, but you know that won’t go the way he’s imagining.

“I’ll make it easy for you, Seungcheol,” you begin and ignore his offer. “Don’t talk to me ever again.”

You should’ve known he isn’t going to let you go that easily. He grabs your wrist gently when you walk past him to leave.

“Where did that come from?” he wonders, tone teetering with confusion and annoyance.

“Don’t message me either,” you simply answer and pull your arm from his grasp. He looks baffled at your response, sitting still as you move away.

Before leaving, you stop at Mingyu. You give him the quick project explanation you’ve given to others before handing him your card. He tells you he’ll consider it, which isn’t what you want to hear, but at least he isn’t taken by anyone yet. You don’t want to linger around him any longer because Seungcheol is bound to come over since they came here together.

You leave just in time as you spot Hana, Hajun, and Soonyoung walking over to the café. You see through the café’s window as they greet Seungcheol and Mingyu. Some things will never change.

As you climb into your car, you feel a pair of eyes on you. The urge to turn back to confirm your suspicion of who it is is strong, but you keep your gaze forward. You didn’t stay at the café as long as you anticipated and hope your parents are done fighting when you get home.

You sit on Dae’s apartment floor as you pencil your clothes patterns on your fabric. With your mom back in town, you and your sister have been spending time at other people’s residences. You at Dae’s, and her at her own friend’s. You two have never been that close, so being separated from her doesn’t bother you as much as it would bother other siblings. Nevertheless, you’re still the big sister and worry about her occasionally—often sending text messages to check up.

You and Dae have music playing as you work on separate pieces. Even though you’re fine working alone, it’s comforting being with a friend right now. There’s a lot on your mind, and you just need something to distract yourself. Keeping your hands moving is a big help for that.

Your father has allowed your mother to stay while she finds another place to go. Her being at home means lots of fighting. At least for once, it isn’t silent in the house. You and your sister spend most of the time in your own rooms, only coming out for dinner. This isn’t new, but it feels more like a prison than before. The good side of Mom staying is she cooks dinner, which allows you to focus on your project. You have fulfilled all your helper positions—thankfully, Mingyu came around in the end and said yes—so you are focusing on bringing your sketches to life.

“My hands are cramping,” Dae whines, bringing your attention to her. You finish the line you are drawing and sit back on your heels.

“Take a rest,” you suggest. Dae shakes her head.

“I’ve got a quota to meet. If I can finish it now, I can have the rest of the day off,” she explains and goes back to her work.

“If you say so,” you mumble before finishing your work. 

Ten minutes pass until she speaks again.

“I ran into Seungcheol today on campus,” Dae says casually. You pause your movements at her sentence.

“And that matters to me how?” you wonder, keeping your gaze locked on your task at hand. Just his name has your heart racing. Though, you conclude it to be from anger.

“He asked about you,” she replies and stands up, a cut piece of fabric in her hand.

“I hope you told him I moved across the globe,” you mumble and grab the scissors you had brought. However, you can’t really focus on anything, so you simply mess around with the crystals you have to hold down the fabric.

Dae laughs a little and shakes her head. “I told him you are moping without him.”

You flicker your gaze to hers quickly, mouth open at her disloyalty.

“I am not moping, and if I was, it wouldn’t be because of him,” you argue fiercely, unknowingly moving your hands as you speak. 

Dae’s gaze glances at the scissors still in your grasp. “Let’s put that down when we’re talking about Seungcheol, okay?”

You peer at the object and scoff. “It’s comforting me right now, so no.”

“How exactly is it comforting you?”

“I’m imagining sticking it where the sun doesn’t shin—”

“Yn,” Dae scolds.

“You asked,” you say, then set them down reluctantly.

Dae eyes your movements carefully before speaking, “He just wanted to know how you were doing.”

“I’m doing fabulous,” you snap, hoping that is what she had told him. Your tone is a little harsher than you mean.

“I told him you were doing fine,” she answers your silent question.

You sigh. “Both start with ‘f’, so you were close enough, I guess.”

“You know what else starts with ‘f’?” she asks.

“Fudge? Which we should go get, by the way.”

“Forlorn,” she answers, dismissing your attempt for sweets. “You’re forlorn.”

“I am not sad and lonely,” you huff. Sure, your family drama is at a high right now, and you just dumped your not-so-friend-who-you-were-starting-to-like-being-with.

You are not sad. You are not lonely.

“You’re also in fenial,” Dae adds.

“I’m in what?”

“Fenial.”

“You mean denial?”

“Yes, you are.”

“Huh?!”

You stare at her, puzzlement written all over your face. She smiles at that, pinning her fabric to her dress form and then turning to you.

“You’re in denial that you miss him.”

“What is fenial?” you ask, disregarding her statement about how you feel about Seungcheol. You are not missing him. He has chosen his side—alright, not really, but his actions say otherwise. He is not on Team Yn.

Dae groans. “We were on f-words, and I had to improvise. I just wanted to tell you you’re in denial.”

“And you’re felusional.”

“How about we just change to d-words?” she asks when she notices what word you mean.

“Or change the subject entirely.”

You stand up, stretching your arms over your head and twisting your body to ease your back as you’ve been hunched over for a while. Dae stays silent as she lets the topic rest momentarily. You leave to grab a glass of water before sitting on her couch. Just as you think she’s letting it go, she speaks.

“Do you think he’s a bad person?”

“Dae,” you sigh in a warning. You came here in hopes of getting away from your problems, not facing them.

“It’s a yes or no question,” Dae states sternly.

Instead of responding right away, you take a drink from your cup. The cold liquid feels refreshing, and you relish in the feeling before her question echoes in your head.

Finally, you say, “No.”

Dae slows her movements on her dress form and peers at you. She doesn’t look at you playfully or pitifully, which you appreciate, but you still don’t want to talk about it. She seems to want otherwise.

“So, why did you stop talking to him?”

“I told you before,” you answer. “I don’t want to be around someone who won’t stand up for me. They’re his friends, and I’m not going to force him to choose.”

“You want him to, though,” she observes. Even though you want to deny that, you know she is right.

“Well, I didn’t want to force him to. I thought he would just do that upon seeing how rude his friends are.” Your thumbs play with the condensation on your glass.

“You’re not innocent either, Yn,” Dae answers softly so as to not hurt your feelings. It doesn’t help.

“Great, so you’re siding with them now as well?” you exhale, exhausted.

“No,” she replies seriously. “I’m trying to show you that he could have picked them over you.”

“Explain,” you say as you try not to lose your temper for a change.

“You’re saying his friends are rude—”

“They are,” you interject.

“I’m not saying they aren’t. Just listen to me,” she continues when you nod. “You’re saying his friends are rude, and he should ditch them, but if you’re being mean, then shouldn’t he leave you too?”

There is an argument on the tip of your tongue that never forms. Her words sink into your mind, processing what she means.

“What his friends are saying to you is not right, and I get why you’re fighting against them, but I wouldn’t hate Seungcheol for not unfriending them.”

“He still doesn’t always have my back,” you counter.

“Hm,” she concurs. “That he could do better on.”

You sit still as you muse about what she told you. She has a valid point, and part of you is grateful he didn’t leave you despite you always giving off the impression of wanting him to.

“And I don’t hate him,” you murmur, lower than your normal volume, but Dae hears you.

She exhales slowly, glancing at you sincerely. She gives you a reassuring smile. “I know.”

“Can you play that one more time?” you ask as you lean over Jihoon’s shoulder.

“Sure,” he answers and clicks a button. The sound plays from his speakers once more. You move away and begin to pace in his room. Your eyes stare down at your feet while you carefully listen. Having four elements seemed good at first, but now you are having trouble finding a beat that fits all four. You like some of the pieces Jihoon created, but they often fit more with one element.

“Something just isn’t,” you trail off once the song fades out.

“Can’t you just make four separate tracks?” Chan, who you met through Soonyoung a week ago, pipes in from Jihoon’s bed. He claims he has nothing to do and wants to help as well. At first, you’re unsure. His major is dance, like Soonyoung’s, so what knowledge does he have about music production? Despite your original disposition, he turns out to be more helpful than you initially thought.

“I don’t have enough time on stage for that,” you explain. In order for the show to not run for an entire day, each student is given a limited amount of time for their section of the show.

You all sit in silence as you think about what to do.

“Hey Jihoon, Chan—Oh,” a familiar voice rings out in the room. All heads turn to the door to see Seungcheol standing there.

It’s been nearly two weeks since you saw him, and during said weeks, you had been avoiding him. You didn’t let yourself be alone with him, let alone let him speak a word to you. 

The fight you had with him is still prominent in your mind, but what’s more evident is the way your body reacts when he gives you any attention. You feel betrayed by your own body when you feel a pang in your chest or a lingering desire to be close to him again. It’s as if you lost something you could’ve had if it weren’t for his wishful thinking. He wants his two worlds to coexist, but that isn’t going to happen. Maybe you would’ve given him an ultimatum, but you aren’t sure if he would even pick you. Hell, why would he when he’s known them longer? No reason to put yourself in that position.

“I didn’t know you’d be here,” he says, taken aback. Before you can question what he is doing here, Chan speaks.

“Hey, Cheol,” Chan greets. “Can you give us some help real quick?”

Chan’s question pulls you from your sappy thoughts and look at Chan as if he grew two heads. Seungcheol? Helping with music?

“We can figure it out ourselves, we don’t need—”

“Is this the music for your project?” he interrupts and walks inside the small room.

Sighing, you move away when he nears. “Yeah, but I don’t see how you could help.”

“Play it, please,” Seungcheol directs to Jihoon, ignoring your comment. Jihoon obliges before you can stop him. For the nth time, the music sounds in the room.

You stay silent as Seungcheol stares at the screen. His brows are drawn together, and his lips are in a slight pout. You realize you have never seen him so serious before. You don’t know why he’s so focused on a project he has nothing to do with.

As the song ends, another voice comes from the doorway.

“Cheollie, we’re leav—What are you doing here?”

To your disappointment, Hajun is standing at the door. Though what you really get a kick out of is her outfit. For the first time, she isn’t in pants. Her skirt stops a few inches above her knee, and her blouse is form-fitting rather than loose—like she normally wears.

Instinctively, your eyes drift to Seungcheol. You didn’t realize his attire until now. Despite it not being a suit, he wears slacks and a patterned top. A simple and clean look but is still nice. Were they on…?

Even though her question is most likely directed at you based on her tone, Seungcheol answers, “Give us a moment, Hajun. I’ll be out in a second.”

“But the—”

“Wait in the car then,” he replies sternly, eyes not leaving the computer screen. She fumes, gives you one final glare, then leaves.

“You have other files?” Seungcheol questions.

“Yes, but they’re either missing an element or don't fit any of them,” Jihoon explains.

You can’t recall ever telling Seungcheol about the theme of your project, so why is he acting as if this isn’t news to him? Maybe he put it together upon seeing your designs, or maybe his friends told him about it. Does that mean they talk about you in private? Probably. Still, you can’t help but want to ask.

“How did—” you begin, but Seungcheol stops you.

“Have you done one file with all four?”

“It was too long for her project,” Chan explains.

Suddenly, you feel you are being pushed out of your project. They’re talking about you as if you aren’t standing a few feet from them.

“This is my show, remember?” you huff. However, no one reacts to your question. 

Your patience drastically decreases. It doesn’t help that the bane of your existence is the cause of being overthrown.

“So, just cut each element file to make them shorter and create transitions,” Seungcheol suggests. “She’ll just have to organize her lineup to match.”

“That’s a stup—” you began.

“That may work,” Jihoon mumbles, then says to himself. “Such an obvious solution, too.”

You open your mouth to speak, only to be interrupted again.

“It may sound choppy if not done correctly, but that won’t be a problem since you’re making the track,” Chan adds with a supporting smile.

“Will you buffoons stop interrupting me?!” you exclaim, stomping a foot like you are a child.

They all turn toward you. Seungcheol chuckles softly at your scowl.

“Shouldn’t we be getting a ‘thank you,’ Cherry?” Seungcheol asks cockily.

Chan and Jihoon look at him, confused, never having heard that name before. To be fair, no one has.

“No, because you all just decided things without me,” you argue and gesture to the screen to prove your point.

“We were helping you,” Seungcheol rephrases.

“You were taking ove—”

“Come here,” he says, holding out his hand. You look at it as if he has just stuck it in sewer water.

“Like hell I will. You can leave. Hajun is waiting for you anyway. I need to finish working with Jihoon,” you scoff and angle your body to the screen to dismiss him.

“I don’t know why I offered my hand,” he mumbles under his breath, but it’s so quiet you can still hear it.

“Great question,” you say. “I don’t know why either, because I’m never going anywh—”

“I should’ve just taken yours.”

Seungcheol suddenly grabs your wrist, firm enough so you can’t escape but not so rough to where he’s hurting you. He starts walking toward the door with you in tow. Unless you want him to clean the floor with your body, you have no choice but to follow.

He pulls you into the empty bedroom next door, shutting it before he releases you. He presses his back against the door to make sure you can’t make a run for it.

“That’s your tenth time interrupting me,” you hiss, a finger pointing at him accusingly. It’s bad enough he waltzed in and made decisions for your project without consulting you. Now he wants to, what? Force you to talk to him? Force you to forgive him?

“It was probably like three times, and Jihoon interrupted you as well,” Seungcheol says.

“He’s not an ass like you,” you reply.

“Oh, I’m an ass?”

You move closer to him, finger now pressing into his chest. Your unwanted yearning for him is transforming into anger. It’s a way to divert the denial you’re feeling at how much you missed being near him. Even if he has pissed you off before, you didn’t realize how much he has wormed his way into your life. To suddenly cut him off made it harder not to think of him. Now that he is here in front of you, you don't know what else to do but to default to how you initially felt around him—annoyed.

Surely, the increased heart rate is due to being irate, not because you are nearly toe-to-toe with Seungcheol.

“A big ass. Huge! One that I—No!”

You quickly stop your sentence when he opens his mouth. The finger on his chest is now pressing against his mouth to quiet him.

“Let me finish, dammit. You’re rude and insufferable. You’re the biggest ass I’ve ever met. One that I wouldn’t mind kicking—with my heels on, mind you.”

Seungcheol looks at you, pleased, which only intensifies the fire in you. Once he starts speaking, you quickly retract your finger. The feel of his mouth moving against your finger feels like fire against your skin—burning and making you feel warm.

“You sure you can balance on one leg long enough to do that?” he taunts.

After letting out a big exhale while stepping away, you ask, “What are you even doing here?”

“I promised I would help Joshua with something,” he explains. Hearing his name, it dawns on you that you are probably in his room. He and Jihoon have been roommates for a few months now, so you see him frequently.

“Why are you dressed like that?” you question next, eyes going up and down his body swiftly. 

“I went out to dinner,” he shrugs, not finding a big deal in what he’s wearing.

You aren’t going to bring her up. You really aren’t. So, why can’t you stop your damn mouth from running?

“With Hajun?”

Something in your tone must have gotten Seungcheol’s attention more. A stupid smirk forms on his stupid face.

“Something on your mind, Cherry?” he quips. You hate when he has that mischievous grin of his.

“Besides wanting to kick you? No.”

Rather than Seungcheol being offended by your answer, his smile only grows. “I’ve missed your sassy mouth.”

There’s a tug in your chest at his words, something akin to a siren's call—luring you to someone dangerous. At least, dangerous to your heart. 

It feels good to be missed by him, but you still can’t let go of the words he said to you in that café.

“I’m sure your friends are ecstatic to not have seen me lately,” you huff. Even though you are tired of thinking of them when you’re around him, you still bring them up. It’s just easier to latch onto a reason to be mad at him.

“I’m not talking about them right now,” he says firmly.

Seungcheol pushes off the door to stand closer to you. You take one step back, but one of his hands presses against the small of your back to bring you to him. The close proximity has you trying to lean away, but he doesn’t let that happen.

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” he encourages, voice softer.

Your heart is hammering in your chest. You’re still worked up from all the irritation you feel. You’re probably overreacting, but being alone with him stirs up feelings you’ve locked away.

“Let go of me,” you reply in lieu and wiggle in his hold. It’s fruitless.

“Yn,” he says lowly. Hearing your name from his lips has your breathing stop. It’s odd to hear it when he normally uses the nickname he gave you. “I’m sorry.”

You don’t need him to tell you what he’s apologizing for.

“Don’t,” you warn and press a hand against his chest. “You don’t mean that.”

His body feels soft, yet firm under your touch. While you would focus on his build, the feeling of his racing heart catches your attention more. Your eyes snap to meet his, not noticing you are staring at your hand on him. Is he nervous?

“I do. I’m sorry you felt I wasn’t on your side,” he says, mouth tugging down. “I want to be there for you.”

There is that feeling in your chest again—one you have been trying to force down for days. You try to hold onto the fizzing anger in you, but Dae’s words resurface in your mind. He could have left you. After all, he is right. You were rude when you first met him.

Seungcheol’s gaze darts between your eyes and then to your lips. You say nothing as he does so, your own eyes sweeping across his features.

As if in a daze, he starts to slowly lean forward.

You press the hand against his chest harder to stop him. “Cheol, you can’t. I—”

“What is it, baby?” he murmurs, thumb rubbing against the small of your back. The pet name wraps you in a blanket of illusion where you’re really his. One where there isn’t constant drama looming around you. You like the way it sounds from him.

“I have lipstick on,” you reply quietly.

Seungcheol flickers his gaze to your eyes, his own forming small crescents as he chuckles. “Is that your excuse to stop me?”

“No,” you answer with a slight shake of your head.

“Then stop talking,” he laughs softly and leans in again. Your hand on his chest relaxes as you let his body come nearer.

His lips gently brush against yours, almost experimentally. The simple feel of his mouth on yours has your body tingle. Your chest feels tight the longer you hold your breath in anticipation. As soon as he starts to press his lips on yours more, there is a loud noise from the other side.

“Shua, wait! I think Seungcheol and Yn are in ther—”

You both quickly separate from each other, eyes wide as saucers when the door opens. Joshua stands with a hand on his doorknob; his lips are in a deep frown at seeing you two.

“Not in my room,” he whines, body sagging when he sees both of your expressions.

“Huh? What do you mean? What’s going on—Oh,” Chan calls out as he comes behind him. 

You’re sure neither one of you is untidy in terms of clothes and hair, but the look on your faces is a flashing neon sign indicating what was occurring or about to occur.

“Nothing happened,” Seungcheol says and pushes a hand through his hair.

“Hopefully not. You have your own place for that,” Joshua replies. The thought of doing something intimate with Seungcheol has your cheeks feeling hot.

Not wanting to think of that, you glance at Chan. “Did Jihoon get the music sorted?”

Chan, still a little startled, nods. “He’s ready whenever you are.”

“Great, I’m coming.”

Chan says okay before heading back to the other room. Joshua makes his way into the room while you and Seungcheol start toward the exit. However, before you can completely leave, Seungcheol grabs your upper arm gently to stop you.

He leans toward your ear to whisper, “It was an end-of-the-year dinner with my whole class. My friends are probably wondering where I am.”

Without another word, he presses a chaste kiss to your forehead before sending you a smile and rounding the corner at the end of the hall that leads to the front door.

Your brain hasn’t caught up to anything that has happened in the last few minutes. From being frustrated with Seungcheol to nearly kissing him. You don’t even like him, so why is your heart soaring at thinking of possibly being in a relationship with him? Why does knowing he didn’t go to dinner alone with Hajun make you feel relieved? Hell, you don’t even find him attractive… Right? Yeah. He isn’t your type. His smile isn’t pretty. His eyes definitely don’t shine. His dimples are unflattering. His laugh is cute—obnoxious! His laugh is obnoxious.

Your shoulders deflate.

Oh, fuck.

Seeing Seungcheol on campus stirs a torrent of emotions through you.

The sight of him has your lips tingle as if you can feel the ghost of his mouth on yours. You ponder on what would have happened if Joshua hadn’t barged into the room. Would the kiss have been short and sweet? Long and passionate? Quick and desperate? Would he have said something that would’ve changed the trajectory of your relationship? Did you want that?

You have been snuffing out any thoughts about Seungcheol that crosses the line of friendship. There isn’t a reason why you can’t be more than friends—besides the disapproval from his business friends. You chalk it up to being too busy to put much effort into a partner. Plus, is Seungcheol even the person you want?

“You know you’ve been staring at the man for the past three minutes, right?”

Dae’s voice knocks on your mind’s door. Your gaze tears from Seungcheol’s back, who is ahead of you in the line ordering, to peer at your friend. She wears a small smile and is watching you closely.

“Not on purpose,” you argue. “I was just staring off into the distance. He just happened to be there.”

“You’ve been hanging out with him a lot,” she observes.

With the conversation about Seungcheol, you can’t help but drift your eyes back to him. 

He must sense your stare because out of the blue, he’s looking over his shoulder at you. The cashier follows his gaze, then says something to Seungcheol to which he nods in reply. Although the cashier turns back to the screen in front of them, Seungcheol’s eyes linger on you. He gives you a quick wink, mouth raising in a lopsided smile before finally averting his gaze.

“I haven’t,” you answer late and glance away.

“Uh huh,” Dae says, unbelieving.

“He’s just somehow always around when I’m working on my project with his friends. I’m not hanging out with him,” you explain.

“Maybe not directly, but he’s still there,” she shrugs.

“Trust me. I wish he wouldn’t be,” you sigh, shuffling forward when the line moves. “He’s distracting when I’m trying to get work done.”

Dae giggles. “Oh, I’m sure he is.”

“Not in that way,” you scold with a light arm slap. “I mean, his friends are easily susceptible to topic changes. What should be a thirty-minute meeting turns into an hour.”

Dae hums but doesn’t say anything else when you both are near the cashier finally. After ordering for yourself, you take out your card ready to pay.

“Actually, it’s already been paid for,” the worker says.

You cock your head to the side in confusion. “What?”

The cashier turns to Dae, who is ordering next to you. “And your friend’s.”

Suddenly, Dae is giggling. Though they aren’t quiet chuckles, they are loud and obnoxious. So much so, you feel it could be heard throughout the whole building.

“How kind of him, Yn,” she teases you, gladly accepting the free meal. You don’t need to specify the “he”. Since the deed is already done, you have no choice but to grab your food and move along.

“You should thank him,” Dae suggests as you walk to an empty table.

You scan the area and spot him with his back to you again. He sits with Vernon, Doyun, Joshua, and Mingyu. None of them notice you, and you turn around before that changes.

“I don’t want to, not in front of his friends,” you say, taking a bite of your meal.

“Why not?”

“I just feel it’ll be awkward,” you mumble.

Dae smiles. “It wouldn’t be, but fine. Let’s write him a note instead.”

You glance at her questionably. “Or I could just text him.”

“That’s so boring,” she scoffs, reaching inside your purse.

“Hey!” you try to protest but that doesn’t stop her from rummaging through your bag. She pulls out your sticky notes that have a cute design on them.

“Don’t you have yours?” you grumble as she starts to scribble on it.

“Yours are nicer,” she answers simply. She slides the pad over to you and her pen. “Now, write a thank you.”

Reluctantly, you do as you’re told. While you do so, Dae digs into your purse again. This time she pulls out your travel-sized perfume. You figure she wants to freshen up, but rather, she tears off the sticky note and spritzes the paper with the scent.

“That is so old school,” you groan, cringing at the cheesy act.

Dae smirks and folds the note. She pushes it in your hand and then covers her barely-eaten food.

“Let’s go give it to him as we’re leaving,” she instructs.

“But I barely started eating,” you complain, glancing down at your food.

“Do you really want to stay in this stuffy area? We can eat somewhere else.”

You watch as she stands up. Sensing she isn’t going to take no for an answer, and you don’t like eating in here anyway, you oblige and grab your meal.

“Any slower and we’ll have to eat during the lecture,” she says.

“We should’ve just left without sitting down,” you reply and started walking in the direction of Seungcheol’s table.

You don’t get the chance to back out of Dae’s plan since she taps his shoulder to get his attention as soon as she’s in arm's reach.

He jumps, turning as his eyes raise to flicker between the two of you. You bite back the giggle that almost escapes upon seeing his stuffed cheeks. He reminds you of a cute chipmunk, and there is a tingle in your fingertips that makes you want to poke his face.

Seungcheol seems embarrassed at having been caught like that, quickly covering his mouth and turning away. Once he swallows his food, he looks at you both again.

“Yn has something to give you,” Dae says.

You suddenly feel like her kid who has been forced to do something because “Mommy said to do it.” His friends are watching inquisitively.

“Oh?” he wonders, eyes glinting with curiosity.

You push out your hand, the folded note sticking out. He takes it slowly. His fingers brush yours as he did so, and you feel like such a love-sick teenager at the subtle giddy feeling bubbling from his graze.

You don’t want to be there when he opens it, so you clutch Dae’s arm and beeline to the exit without a word. You refuse to turn back to see his expression, only focusing on Dae’s endless giggles on the way out.

Your mom has finally found a hotel nearby to stay at. Even though you haven’t seen her in a long time, part of you is glad she is going. However, the little girl in you wants her to stay. To try to fix what is so broken in this fucking house, but that is a wish that will never be granted. You just want the fighting to stop, for you and for your sister. For that to happen, it’s best that she left. She’s been gone for three days; it’s been quiet since. Your father hasn’t said anything, just asked if you and your sister were okay before returning to his office.

Spring break came and went in a blink of an eye. You had no plans besides continuing to work on your project. After your mom left, you transferred all the items you had worked on from Dae’s place back to yours. You hung out with her occasionally, which wasn’t shocking to do, but what you didn’t expect was to talk to Seungcheol throughout the week. 

Seungcheol was out of town with his family, so he was pretty busy. Despite this, he still managed to find time to talk to you when he could. Conversations were dragged out due to the delayed responses, but that didn’t matter to you. It was nice to learn more about him and think about something other than your project—even if it were just for a few minutes at a time. 

Now your floor is covered in fabric scraps, cut-out fabric pieces, and sewing pattern sketches. Although it’s a mess, seeing your progress feels good.

Outside your door, you hear hurried shuffling. You ignore it as your sister is probably playing around.

“Yn! Your boyfriend is here!” Seoah calls out. You pause in pinning a piece of fabric to your dress form and sigh. You stick the pin in the pin cushion you have on your wrist, then leave your room.

As you are turning the corner, you ask in exasperation, “What are you talking about, Seoah? I don’t have a—Seungcheol?”

You stop in your tracks when you see him standing in the doorway, his name coming out as a gasp. His hair is wavy, which is different from how you normally see it. His dark hoodie and pants combo is nothing spectacular, but it has you wanting to wrap your arms around him to see if he feels as comfortable as he looks. 

You quickly blink a few times, gathering yourself again and trying hard not to ponder on your thoughts. You veer toward your sister. “Go to your room.”

“What? You’re not even going to introduce me?” she scoffs, ignoring your demand and turning to Seungcheol. She outreaches a hand to him and bows slightly.

“Hi! I’m Seoah, the better sister.”

Seungcheol chuckles and reciprocates the handshake, bowing slightly as well. “Nice to meet you, Seoah. I’m Seungcheol.”

“I’ve heard about you!” she exclaims. “Yn has talked about you.”

That is a partial lie. You have talked about him, but not with her. She must have heard you talk about him while you spoke to Dae on the phone. Curse your thin walls.

Seungcheol glances past her to you, who stands, annoyed, a little away from the door. He takes in your casual attire, and you realize he’s not used to seeing you like this. You suddenly feel self-conscious. Instead of that making you cower in shyness, you just get irritated.

“Good things, I hope,” he answers your sister with a laugh.

Seoah winces. “Actually, not really—”

“Room! Now!” you huff and point to the hallway. Seoah rolls her eyes.

“Yeah, yeah,” she says. She gives Seungcheol a wave before skipping past you, making sure to “accidentally” bump into you on her way.

Once you hear her door shut, you walk closer to Seungcheol.

“What are you doing here?” you ask in a quiet voice, knowing Seoah probably has an ear pressed up against her wall.

Rather than giving you the answer you’re looking for, he chaffs, “You’ve said bad things about me? I’m hurt.”

“Yeah, well, I’m about to have more bad things to say if you don’t answer my question.”

Seungcheol smiles, seemingly unfazed by your brazen response. “At least you would be talking about me.”

Unamused by his playful tone, you take a step back and push the door closed. Seungcheol presses his palm against the object before it can fully shut. His push on the door is strong enough that you have no choice but to stop your actions.

“Must you always be so snappy?” he questions blithely.

“Must you always be so annoying?” you retort. 

“Annoying is subjective.”

“Seungcheol,” you exhale. “I’m busy, so unless it’s something dire, get off my porch.”

“I haven't seen you for a week and suddenly you’ve turned into an old lady.”

Your eyes narrow. The pin cushion comes into view, and you reach to pluck a needle from it.

“This old lady has a weapon, so don’t even start,” you threaten.

Seungcheol takes a step back when he sees the small object. He bites his lower lip as he stares at it. You can tell he’s trying not to laugh. It makes you jab the air toward him, causing him to take another step back.

“Alright, alright, Cherry, put that tiny sword away,” he laughs, hands rising to show mercy.

You oblige, eyes scrutinizing him in case he decides to do something. Though, he simply lowers his arms.

“What do you want?” you ask.

“It’s always ‘what do you want’ and never ‘how are you’,” he sighs teasingly.

Your reply almost leaves your lips until you hear the sound of a door opening from inside.

“Yn? Is there someone at the door?” your father’s voice comes from somewhere behind you. In a panic, you shut the door—so unexpectedly and fast, Seungcheol doesn’t have time to stop you this time.

You turn around to him. “Yeah. I forgot I left something at Dae’s. She’s just brought it back. I need to go meet her.”

Lying to your Dad isn’t something you probably need to do. It’s not like you are banned from having friends or being in a relationship, but you try not to mix too much of your personal life with people you know.

“Ah, alright,” he says. He lingers around for a moment and then leaves the room.

You open the door as soon as he is out of sight. You step out this time. Seungcheol gives you a concerned look, but you pretend not to notice.

“Can we talk in your car?” you ask. It’s better to talk where Seoah isn’t eavesdropping, and your Dad can’t spot you.

Seungcheol doesn’t question you and gestures for you to lead the way.

“You’re not wearing shoes,” he observes as you go down the stairs.

“Good to know you can see,” you reply, not caring about the fact. You’re just going to figure out what he wants then go back inside.

“And you called me insufferable,” he groans.

Suddenly, your feet aren’t touching the floor.

Seungcheol has his arms under your knees and around your back. You instinctively wrap your arms around his neck tightly.

“This is unnecessary!” you shriek at the abrupt change.

“You could get hurt,” he simply says, walking the short distance from your porch steps to his car parked out front.

“It’s concrete, not glass. I would’ve been fine,” you argue.

“You never know.”

Seungcheol’s grip doesn’t loosen, and you know he isn’t going to let you down until he reaches his vehicle. With this knowledge, you decide to let yourself think about the way he holds you so tightly. His hair is tickling your arm, and his cold touch on your bare legs warms your skin the longer it presses against you. For a moment, you dive back into that illusion of being more than friends. It’s a dangerous thought.

Instead of setting you down on the ground when he arrives at his car, he gently rests you on top of his shoes—still not letting your feet touch the rough concrete. It’s a small gesture, but the impact it has on you is big. You warmly stare at him, hoping he doesn’t see it as you wait for him to open the door. The click of the door cues you to climb inside.

“All that work for what?” you laugh lightly when he climbs inside, trying not to seep deeper into the warmth that begins spreading in your chest. He turns on the car to get the AC running.

“For your safety,” he replies as if what he did isn’t anything special. While you hate the part of your brain that wonders if he has done this for anyone else before, you hate another part that wants him to only do these things for you more.

“Should I carry you if you are barefooted next time?” you tease.

The grin on his face is wide enough to accentuate his dimples. “As much as I would love for that to happen, I doubt you can carry me.”

“We can try it now,” you offer, gesturing out the window.

“I would rather not break my tailbone when you drop me,” he laughs.

It’s getting harder to deny that you miss him and his contagious giggles. You laugh along with him briefly.

“So, will you please tell me why you’re here?” you ask when the laughter dies down.

“Another ‘please’? I ought to be around you more if I remind you of that word,” he replies.

“You do, constantly,” you start. “Please go away. Please get to the point. Please shut up. Please—”

“I got it,” he chuckles, and you stop to give him a triumphant smirk. 

“I wanted to invite you to dinner with my friends,” he finally reveals.

Hearing the term “my friends” coming from Seungcheol has your smirk slowly evaporating. Upon seeing your change of expression, he quickly elaborates.

“Our friends. Would you like to go to dinner with our friends? Not my… other ones.”

You feel better at knowing it isn’t the group you are avidly evading. “Why would they want me there? Did you not ask about me coming again?”

“Actually,” he pauses, “they asked me to invite you.”

“They did?” you wonder out loud, startled.

“You and Dae.”

“This couldn’t have been asked in a text message?” you ask. 

“I wanted to see you,” he shrugs as though there is nothing wrong with that. Which, there isn’t, except it stirs unwanted emotions that make you feel warmer. 

You move your gaze from him as you consider the invitation. Your first outing with people other than Dae went horribly, and even though this will be with people you are more fond of, you’re still nervous. Maybe if Dae agrees, you’ll be more inclined.

“Can I get back to you?” you ask.

Seungcheol’s small frown quickly turns upside down when you look at him again. “Yeah, of course,” he forces out.

“Sorry, I just…”

Seungcheol reaches out to you, placing a hand on your thigh lightly to reassure you. “I get it. Don’t feel pressured. We just wanted to get to know you both without talking about your projects.”

You nod slowly, eyes staring down at his hand on your skin. Heat is spreading from his touch to across your body. His other hand comes up and guides your face upward, causing your gaze to tear from his hand to his face. He’s closer than you remember. He smiles at you, those devilish dimples appearing and making your heart melt involuntarily.

“Just let me know,” he speaks lowly, slowly so you hear him clearly. Your mind isn’t sure if he is referring to letting him know about the dinner invitation or letting him know if you want him to kiss you.

Yes to both.

You nod, eyes trailing down to his lips. You watch as they stretch into a bigger grin.

“Good,” he murmurs.

You wonder if he can hear how fast your heart is thumping in his quiet car. Though that is a fleeting thought as he nears your face. Your eyes flutter shut as you meet him halfway.

Like before, his lips graze yours tenderly. It’s so gentle that you have to suppress the shiver your body wants to emit. One of your hands slowly rises to rest against his cheek to bring him closer. His head tilts into your touch. 

Seungcheol’s hand that’s on your thigh glides up your side until it rests on your waist. Your lips are pressed against his more than they were at Jihoon’s, but not fully. Despite the slow pace, it’s thrilling to be able to focus on his every touch.

“Not your boyfriend, huh?”

The voice outside has you both springing from each other. You move so fast that your head accidentally hits the passenger window. The thud catches Seungcheol’s attention and before you can glare daggers at your sister, his hands come up to cup the back of your head where you had hit it.

“Are you okay?” he quickly asks. Although you want to indulge in his caring nature, you move his hands so you can turn to face the window. The throbbing is already fading. 

Seoah stands with her arms crossed, hips shifted to one side, and a not-so-intimidating stare.

“Well?” she prompts. Her voice is slightly muffled from being outside, but you hear it nonetheless.

You open the door so she can hear you clearly. “You say anything and I’ll—”

“You’re really going to threaten me with your boyfriend here?” she questions, a knowing smile on her annoying face.

“You’re right. Let’s go inside first,” you say before turning to Seungcheol. His face is flushed, and he still seems a little startled by everything that happened. You’ve never seen him so bashful before. He looks rather… cute.

“I’ll get back to you, okay?” you say, starting to slowly leave his car.

That has him swimming out of his thoughts. “Do you need me to—”

You smile at him. “No, Cheol, I don’t need a ‘ride’ back to the door.”

“Watch your step,” he warns softly.

“I will. Drive safe,” you say, fully out of his car and leaning in through his now rolled-down window to see him. You peer over your shoulder to see Seoah waiting a few feet away.

“Also,” he says quickly. “I’ll drive you and Dae and pay for your dinners. If that’s any incentive to come.”

“Tempting,” you playfully reply. “I’ll let you know soon.”

“Okay,” he slowly says. “Oh, and thank you for that note.”

Your body stills at remembering that silly, scented sticky note Dae made you give him days ago.

“Don’t mention it. Seriously,” you reply with a hint of sternness.

“Bye, Cherry,” he smiles. He seems like he wants to say more but decides against it.

“Bye, Seungcheol,” you say.

Per his request, you’re careful with your steps as you retreat back to your door. Before you go back inside, you turn to Seoah.

“What were you doing outside?” you question. You can hear the sound of car tires as she answers.

“Dad sent me out to get you.”

Your eyes widen. “Did he see who I was with?”

“No,” she says. “Just said he didn’t hear you come back in.”

Of course, the one time he decides to be attentive is when Seungcheol comes.

“Don’t tell him about this, alright?” you sigh.

Seoah nods. She may be annoying, but at least she isn’t traitorous. “Are you dating him?”

“No,” you reply sternly. You aren’t. You are just… testing the waters? About to have a friend with benefits? Friends with make-out-sessions? You are nearing an unhealthy spiral from how much you are fretting over the man.

“Do you want to be?” she wonders.

“Enough, Seoah. Just promise me you won’t say anything.”

Seoah stays silent for a moment. You fear you’ll have to plead more, but she ends up sticking out her pinkie finger. You sigh in relief, wrapping your pinkie around hers.

“I promise,” she says.

“Thanks,” you mumble. “Let’s get inside,” you instruct, voice softer than before.

“Please turn in your progress reports. I’ll see you all next week,” Dr. Lim says and motions to the spot on the table in front of him.

You wait as the majority of your peers place their papers in a pile. You’re still on your iPad and editing a few designs. You just can’t get one of them right. Something is off, but you aren’t quite sure of the reason.

Maybe if you hadn’t stayed up last night, your mind wouldn’t be so sluggish. 

Seungcheol wasn’t quite ready to end the conversation once he left. Countless texts transpired before he eventually called. The conversations were easygoing enough for you to continue working on your designs while you talked to him. You learned he had an older brother and parents who all lived a few cities over. He hasn’t visited as many times as he wished due to being busy with classes. Though, he tries to go when he can.

You don’t disclose much about your family, keeping it simple by saying you have a sister, whom he met, and parents. He doesn’t pester too much on the topic, and you’re glad. Instead, you talk about what you’ve both been up to and your hobbies (he likes to play games and drink with friends). 

You stayed up later than normal and are now paying the price for it. Though even through your haze, you don’t regret it.

“Come on, Yn,” Dae says when the line to leave shortens.

“One second,” you reply as you focus back on your sketch.

Dae sighs but leaves you alone, going to turn in her own report. 

Maybe the coloring? But if you adjust the shade, it will be too close to another design. Is the one slit in the skirt too common? Maybe if you add two… Better, but it still isn’t clicking. Perhaps it is the top. 

Your hand dances across the screen, drawing and erasing, then redrawing until you finally have something that itches that artistic scratch you are trying to satisfy. The other issue is you need more fabric to make this piece. You’ll have to note that down in your to-do list.

Once you are finally packed, you leave your table and set your paper on top of everyone else’s.

Dr. Lim glances up at seeing you walk past. “Thanks, Yn. I look forward to seeing what you have so far.”

“I am as well. Let me know if there are any changes that could make my designs better,” you reply, pushing your bag strap higher on your shoulder.

He smiles at you; it’s not the first time you’ve asked this. “Of course. See you next week.”

You say your goodbye and then exit to find Dae. She’s outside the classroom, leaning against the wall as she speaks to someone. He looks familiar and you recall his name to be Yejun. He was with Jeonghan when you first met him.

“You get everything sorted?” Dae asks when she sees you. You nod. “Do you remember Yejun?”

Another nod.

“It’s good to see you again,” he greets with a warm smile.

The first response you have is it probably isn’t good to see you since most people don’t find pleasure in your presence. You’re sure he just said that out of courtesy.

Alternatively, you opt for, “You as well.”

“Oh, did Seungcheol ask you about that dinner with the guys?” Dae wonders to you.

Ah, that’s right. You were going to ask her about that today but got distracted with revising your design.

“He did, but I wanted to see if you are going first,” you answer.

“Yeah, me and Yejun are planning to go.”

You glance at Yejun in surprise. Seungcheol didn’t mention his name.

Upon seeing your expression, Yejun explains, “Jeonghan invited me since I’m helping Dae with her project.”

“Hm,” you hum in affirmation. It makes sense.

“So, are you coming?” Dae questions.

You’re conflicted about what you want. What if this dinner ends like how the lounge night went? You planned to stick with Dae if she goes, but now that Yejun is going, will she leave you? What if something happens and you need her?

“Stop overthinking and just say yes. It’ll be fine,” Dae interrupts your mental questions and gives you a friendly push.

Exhaling deeply, you agree to go.

“Great,” she smiles. “Yejun offered to give us a ride.”

The mention of a ride makes you recall Seungcheol’s offer. “Oh, Ch-Seungcheol actually said he’ll drive us and pay for our dinner.”

You peer at Yejun, recalling he didn’t mention he’ll do the same for Yejun, but you figure Seungcheol won’t mind. At least the ride part. You don’t know if he’ll pay for Yejun too.

Yejun gets the hint at your look and chuckles. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll catch a ride with Jeonghan.”

“I’ll go with Yejun and Jeonghan,” Dae offers.

Your heart starts to race at the idea of being left alone with Seungcheol again. It wouldn’t be the worst thing, and you rather enjoyed his company, but lately, you’ve been treading on an indivisible balance beam—teetering on feelings you aren’t ready to come to terms with. Maybe you are, but you’re too nervous that Seungcheol doesn't feel the same. Yeah, he tried to kiss you—twice—but that doesn’t mean he likes you. You can kiss people you don’t like. He could be looking for something noncommittal and somehow sees that in you. 

Great, now you’re concerned if that’s how he sees you. Someone who isn’t dedicated to one specific person. Does he think that of you in general or in terms of relationships? You just added another reason why you shouldn’t be left alone with him. Way to go, brain. Seriously.

“Actually, I’m sure he won’t mind you both. Let me just ask real quick,” you respond hastily and pull out your phone.

“It’s okay,” Dae says, but you ignore her. You send a message to Seungcheol. You know he’s in class, according to previous conversations, but you hope he sees the text soon.

“It’ll probably be more fun in Jeonghan’s anywa—”

Your eyes shoot down when your phone vibrates.

“He said yes! It’s all good. He even offered to pay for you, Yejun,” you say, a little happier than you should’ve been. Dae eyes you suspiciously.

“Really? Oh, wow. Alright. I can’t turn down a free ride and meal,” he laughs and looks at Dae. “That alright with you, Dae?”

She slowly tears her sight from you and gives Yejun a small smile. “Yeah, it sounds perfect.”

“Awesome. I’ll tell him to pick you guys up first,” you say.

“We can just meet at yours?” Dae offers, but you shake your head.

“I need the extra time to get ready,” you lie. She says nothing at the little fib. She should know you don’t want a lot of people at your house.

“Right,” she says slowly. “Then Yejun, can you meet me at mine? I don’t want Seungcheol driving all through the city since he’s doing us a favor.”

“Okay,” he agrees.

“Yejun!” a familiar, light voice calls. You look around and see Jeonghan a few feet away.

“Class calls,” Yejun sighs and starts to walk toward Jeonghan.

Jeonghan directs a kind smile and waves in your direction. You wave back—one that isn’t as enthusiastic as his, but it doesn’t matter. He should be grateful he got a wave at all. 

“You ladies coming to dinner this weekend?” he calls from where he is. He could have easily walked over, but he decides to yell across the room instead. People are starting to glance at you all, and you sigh at his antics.

“Yup! We’re even getting a free meal from your friend!” Dae answers, having no problem with the long-distance chat.

Jeonghan laughs, loud enough for you to hear it and for your mouth to dip down at the sound. Better yet, it isn’t even a laugh. It’s a maniacal giggle. That giggly little bitch.

“Oh? Are you now?” he questions, obviously not needing a hint at who the aforementioned friend is. “Well if he’s offering, I’m going to see if he’ll pay for mine too.”

“Pay for your own, and go to class,” you finally join the discussion. You place a hand on Dae’s arm, ready to drag her away from the angelic devil.

“Trying to keep him all to yourself? That’s not fair,” he replies with an over-exaggerated pout.

“That’s not the reason,” you growl, eyes narrowing in a sneer.

“Well, regardless, he’s got money to spare,” Jeonghan chuckles and slips an arm around Yejun’s shoulder when he gets close enough. “Have a nice day!”

You both watch as they ascend the stairs, their laughter fading off the farther they get.

“Seungcheol’s loaded?” Dae asks, surprised.

It takes you a moment to realize what spurs that question. You’re about to say no, but his car and his luxury clothes say otherwise. Hell, even his cologne shouts “expensive”. Though he could’ve gotten all those as gifts, or even got help paying for some. It doesn’t matter if he has lots of money or not, but you didn’t expect him to. No one you really know is that wealthy.

“I’m not sure. Plus, paying for five meals doesn’t mean he’s rich,” you reply honestly. “It doesn’t matter. We need to go get some fabric.”

“Who’s ‘we’?” she teasingly questions, letting you pull her out of the building and to the parking lot.

“You said you needed to go to the store anyway,” you argue.

Dae smiles. “Yeah, but I never said I wanted to go with you.”

“Shut up,” you roll your eyes playfully. Dae giggles and holds onto your arm tighter.

“You can just tell me you want to hang out with me,” she says.

“I’d rather swallow my pin cushion.”

“Ouch. For a moment, I really thought we had something,” Dae sighs dramatically, clutching her chest in faux pain.

“Alright, enough playing around. Let’s get going.”

Just your luck.

You and Dae visit almost every fabric store that your college is sponsored by. Every single one you have gone to so far has the fabric you want out of stock. Dae offers some that are “close to what you want,” but you don’t want them. The fabric you saw online is what you have envisioned for your piece, and you don’t want to settle for less. 

There is one more store on the list, and as soon as you walk in, you make your way to where it should be.

There it is!

The navy blue sheer fabric is calling to you.

You’re about eight steps from it when two girls come into view. You hurry to the fabric, but unfortunately, they are standing in front of it. One girl has her hand hovering over the bolts of fabric in that section, seemingly unsure of what she wants. That’s good for you as it means she doesn’t have her eye on the fabric you want. You just need to sneak in and grab it before she makes up her mind.

“Excuse me,” you say to them. When they turn to you, you recognize their faces. They’re in your class and are participating in the runway project. Tori and Siwon, if you remember correctly. 

“Oh, Yn,” Tori says. “Need something?”

Though her voice is sweet, you know her intention is not. You’re aware of the way she speaks about you. Always something about how unoriginal you are because you “stole designs.” That or you pay for people to do your work for you. What pathetic lies. They’re common rumors amongst several fashion students. Although you don’t know if all of them are false for others, you know the allegations about you are.

Your gaze on the blue fabric catches her attention, and she turns toward it. “Oh, here’s what I came for.”

Your heart drops when she grabs it, tucking it under her arm and then looking at you again. Her overly innocent smile has your hands clutching at your sides. You know she did this just to spite you. If she really wanted it, she would’ve grabbed it sooner.

“The area is yours,” Tori says, bowing as if you are royalty. It’s a mocking action, which has you nearly stomping your heel onto her exposed foot in her open-toed shoes.

You take a deep breath and eye the fabric in her hold. There isn’t much of it left, which means there won’t be enough for what you need. Part of you doesn’t even want it if she’s going to use it in her designs.

Rolling your shoulders back and lifting your chin, you say, “No wonder you’re one of the least creative students in class. All you do is take others’ ideas. I doubt you even know what to do with that fabric, but good luck.”

The girls scoff before leaving for the cutting station. You stare after them, fire rolling inside.

“Hey, did you find it?” Dae asks when she stops next to you. She has items in her hands that you don’t pay attention to.

“Yeah,” you reply through clenched teeth. “Then Tori took it.”

“Tori from class?”

You gesture to where she is, smiling at the lady who is cutting the fabric for her.

“I’m sorry she beat you to it,” Dae says.

You shake your head. “She didn’t even want it. She took it because she knew I wanted it.”

Dae glances back to her across the store, mouth set in a firm line.

“I’ll tell you what, I’ll lure her and her friend outside and you can snatch the fabric from the counter.”

As much as you like the idea, and appreciate Dae’s support, you shake your head. “I’d probably get kicked out for sabotaging her project.”

“You’re just playing fair,” Dae argues.

“Whatever,” you reply, looking at her arms. “Let’s go check out.”

Dae follows you silently to the registers.

“We can go to another store,” she offers as you wait in line.

“This was the last store that would give it at a discount. I can’t afford it at the regular price,” you explain.

Dae nods grimly. She gently takes the red thread that you’ve been toying with in your hands. “I’ll pay this for you.”

“I’m not that poor,” you sigh and take it back.

She laughs lightly. “I didn’t mean to imply that. I just wanted to make you happy.”

“Thanks. I’ll just find something else,” you conclude, giving her a forced smile.

“And it’ll be better than that cliché navy blue,” Dae says.

“It was a little cliché, huh?” you question. You're grateful for Dae trying to lift your mood.

“Absolutely!”

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[vampire-meta-knight]

Goth DIY: Altered Clothing part 2 (final part)

Part 1

This part will be shorter since we have less to cover. But it's still a long post, so I'm putting it under a cut.

Skirts and dresses! The last two dresses and green skirt took the most sewing, but the first dress was as simple as sewing studs on the neckline. The black velvet skirt was altered a bit more to fit me, as it was originally a skirt that had small pleats at the top that made the skirt cling to my stomach and flare out further down, which wasn't flattering on me, so I cut that part off and added a new waistband to get a circle miniskirt, then added lace trim to the hem for extra cuteness and a fancy touch.

Attaching skirts to a crop top is an easy way to make a dress if you don't want to sew one from scratch, but the waistlines did turn out a little wonky, so I use a belt or cardigan to hide that. I also sew a thin line of elastic onto the skirts to gather them before sewing them to the top to make it a little easier and to maintain stretch, since these dresses just pull on. I also don't hang them by the tops, but by draping them through a hanger to avoid stretching out the tops because the skirts are a little heavy (at least mine are, since I added so much to them).

For the green skirt, I added triangular inserts called "godets" to make the skirt flare out, since it was too tight before and didn't swish. I like a good swish.

The skirt with all the lace and pins and grommets and nonsense was one of my earlier projects, so it has three mistakes which I implore you to avoid. One: I didn't line the fabric loops up with the waistband very well, so they look crudely tacked-on. Two: I didn't add any fray check to the holes I made for the grommets, so they stretched out and the grommets are no longer attached to the fabric, just floating there on the ribbon. Three: I didn't stretch the skirt as I sewed on the lace, so now it doesn't stretch in that area; it still fits my waist, but I have to fight with it to get it over my hips. The design is still cute, but I would definitely do it better if I were to make it nowadays.

The half-and-half skirt only has a small alteration, which was actually to make it fit rather than to change how it looked. You see, sometimes you order something online in the same size you always wear from that brand, and sometimes that thing ends up running small and has no stretch. When that happens, when the skirt almost fits you and is just so close to buttoning all the way, get yourself a waistband extender. I made one, but you can also buy them. It's just a piece of elastic with a button on one side and a button hole on the other. Put that on, and BAM! The skirt (or pants) fit you. They won't quite zip up all the way, and it is a noticeable change, so I made a cute lace-covered patch to cover up that alteration so you can't tell I changed anything about it at all.

Now onto the sweaters. I love wearing sweaters in winter, but there seems to be a shortage of goth ones. Nothing a few safety pins and lace trim can't handle! The first three only have safety pins added to them. The coffin ones were done the same way I did my sweatshirts, but this was before I knew about fusible interfacing for appliques, so they got a little wrinkled and don't look as nice. I have a better method now, as detailed in the post I linked. The fabrics were all Halloween fat quarters from Walmart, and I found a picture of a coffin on Google Images as a base to cut out the right shape.

All of these sweaters were thrifted except the two solid black ones with pins--the first one came from Walmart, and the second one was given to me by my mom. Sweaters are plentiful at thrift stores, and they don't even have to be black to be turned into something goth.

That's all of my altered clothing so far, unless there's anything I'm forgetting! Which there easily could be, because I shared about forty garments O-O

I'll share the jewelry I've made next, and then the clothes I've sewn from scratch! This will come sometime in the future, though, because it took awhile to find everything, take pictures of it, and then write about it. And between you and me, I've made a LOOOOOT of jewelry and clothing, so give me some time. As I said in the last post, feel free to message me if you want more detailed instructions or ideas. I'm always happy to help!

Stay crafty!

[pip-says-hi]

Some more Black Lamb content for y'all!

I finally got the velcro in, so I have made the tabs to hold the head closed. Which is much easier than pinning it for a photo.

They're red, so they don't stand out too terribly against the rest of the mouth (and I cut them into little tongue-shapes to help with that, too).

Here you can see how the tentacles coil up inside the head. That's how they "retract". The head is un-stuffed- it's just an empty bag that the tentacles store in. The tentacles themselves are the stuffing.

The whole head just splits down the middle to release them.

And when it's fully closed the fluff of the fleece hides the seam. Also, USA Today best-selling queer horror novel for scale!

I didn't have goat eyes, unfortunately, and I don't do resincrafts so I couldn't make my own... if I make another Lamb, I will definitely be seeing if I can find some proper horizontal-pupil goat/lamb safety eyes on Etsy. For this one, cat eyes (inserted horizontally) will have to do.

If anyone wants to make their own, it's a pretty simple adaptation of an existing lamb pattern! Just make sure to split the lamb's head down the middle (I had to split the central head gusset) and make an entire secondary head of your red lining fabric (also split down the middle), which will line the plushie's hollow head like the lining of a handbag. And then just jam as many tentacles in there as will fit. This took a bit of trial and error, but it was still a delightfully fun project, and I am glad that so many of you out there love it as much as I do! Stay creative and prove love y'all!

[devynconstance]

Cleaning Thrifted Fabric

Nobody asked for this but I recently acquired a whole lot of fabric from my great aunt (love her so much she's the best) and I just went through this whole process so I figured I'd share what I do for clean fresh smelling thrifted fabric.

The fabric I got was partially stuff she had stored away for a long time and partially stuff from garage sales so while I wasn't necessarily worried about bugs, I like to live on the safe side when it comes to potentially contaminating the rest of my fabric stash. So before doing anything else with the fabric, I like to put it in extreme temperatures, hot or cold, to kill off any bugs or bactera that could be on the material, and unfortunately I do not have the funds for my own personal fabric freezer (i dont like putting it next to my frozen food) so here's what I do instead.

After going through everything, I throw all the material into one garbage bag (I think it works better when everything's unfolded) and squeeze as much air out of the bag as possible before tying it off. The goal is to be as close to an air tight seal as possible. And then I chuck the whole thing into my car for a about a week. This only really works in the summer and winter when the temperatures are more extreme (I should also note my car sits outside so it gets really hot with the direct sunlight hitting it and really cold on winter nights). Technically speaking, I think you're actually supposed to do it a few times (as in letting it get back to room temperature and then doing it again) but I didn't do that because the car cools down overnight anyways. When the fabric has been sufficiently 'baked' it's time to move onto step two.

This next step tackles the musty smell that thrifted fabric and clothes can have when you first get them. Just washing them in the washing machine doesn't normally do much good on getting rid of it, so after getting the bag of fabric back inside, I clean out my bathtub and prepare to soak them. If you only have a few pieces of fabric to work with you can also do this step in a bucket or large pot but i definitely needed the full tub for this batch. I partially fill the tub up with warm water (just enough to mostly cover the material), and add about a cup of white vinager and liberally sprinkle baking soda on top, i dont have exact measurements here we just go by vibes lol.

(It doesn't really matter which brand you use but here's the ones I used this time)

And finally add your material. Please please be aware that the dye on the material can bleed quite a bit and stain the other fabrics, so if this is something that'll be an issue, do this in a few batches separated by color. I notice the biggest issue with the red dyes.

Make sure everything is thoroughly soaked and leave sit for an hour. I come back to it once or twice to move things around and make sure everything is soaking evenly. It won't hurt the fabric if you leave it sitting for longer, you can even leave it overnight if you want to, but an hour was plenty long enough for my purposes.

Finally, wash and dry as normal and you have perfectly clean, bug free, fresh smelling, fabric (or clothes) ready for your next project!

[thenerdysewist]

Making My Morgana Cosplay

I watched Merlin for the first time in 2015/2016, and was immediately obsessed with Morgana's Season 4 Coat.

At the time, I hadn't really gotten into sewing yet. I knew how to sew, but I'd only made one project bigger than a pair of pajama pants. But then the pandemic hit, and I was stuck inside with too much time on my hands. I rewatched Merlin (and have multiple times since 2020), and realized that I likely had the skills to make that coat so it became my pandemic project.

Materials:

My first concern was the materials. The coat is full length, with full sleeves and a train. That would require a lot of specialty (expensive) material, and I was pretty broke considering I had been laid off. Plus, new fabric is also pretty bad for the environment. So my goal was to thrift any and all material I could. I got lucky.

I found a king size comforter set at the thrift store for $10, and that meant I got both the specialty material and the lining in one

I found a lace skirt at a different thrift store for the sleeves of the under-dress, and a green prom dress to modify.

After much digging and swearing I found left over fabric from another cosplay to use as the green fabric in the hood and sleeves

A friend was moving and cleaning out her closet, meaning I was able to thrift the belt buckle from a belt she was going to donate

The only material I purchased new was the trim I used for the belt.

Process:

The first step was picking apart the comforter set. I probably could have just cut it open in order to render it into two flat pieces of usable material, but I knew the yardage would be a tight fit, so I used a seam ripper to separate the three layers of fabric from the layer of batting. (I think while I introduced a friend to Merlin).

I used a combination of patterns from my stash to get the pieces I needed. I used the hood from Simplicity 1771A, and the sleeves and skirt from Simplicity 8013. Looking back I likely could have used the bodice as well, but I felt the angle of the neckline was wrong, so I drafted my own bodice pattern using a t-shirt and the angle from the neckline of McCalls M7502.

I decided to make a mock up first. I only had the fabric from the comforter to set to work with, and there wasn't a lot. I didn't want to risk cutting into it, and then realizing it didn't fit. So I used an old white sheet to make the first draft.

Initially I thought the coat was a coat-dress, but noticed the detail that when Morgana walked, you could see the lining flash at the front. So I cut the bodice on the fold, and turned the skirt backwards. The front was meant to go on the fold and the back was two pieces to accommodate for a zipper. However, knowing I needed a train, I added a train to the front panel and made that the back, and then made the two back panels the front panels. I sewed them part of the way down to give it a skirt look, but left the bottom open so that the lining would flash when I walked. It ended up looking like this.

As you can tell from my face, I didn't like how it was laying. It didn't have the same shape as her coat, at which point I realized the front should be separate to make it close like a coat would, rather than a dress would. So I seam ripped the front skirt panels apart and cut the bodice front up the middle. I tried it back on and it looked like this:

(You can also tell by image quality that my old phone gave up the ghost and I had to get a new one, which had a much better camera)

I liked this a lot better, but there were still more adjustments I needed to make. I didn't like the angle of the neckline, and I felt like the train was too long. So I made those adjustments to the pattern, and made a second mock up out of a sheet set that my mom had cannibalized for her own sewing project.

With all the adjustments, the second mock up ended up looking like this.

I was now happy with the angle of the neckline and the length of the train, and felt ready to move onto working with the actual materials I bought.

I cut out all the pieces twice; once from the specialty material and once from the black backing material from the comforter set I used for the lining. I also cut additional lining for the hood and sleeves out of the green fabric since Morgana's coat has that contrast lining. I started by stitching the specialty fabric together.

Once that was done, I stitched all the lining pieces together. Then I pinned the specialty fabric to the lining with the hood in between the two layers so that it when I turned everything inside out, the hood would be on the outside.

I ended up not liking how the hood looked.

It came from too far back on the neckline. and that meant I had to pick apart the shoulder and neck seams and redo it. I redid this step probably four times because the fabric was thick, heavy, and slippery. It refused to stay in place, and I was constantly catching parts of the fabric I shouldn't.

Next was the sleeves. Which literally made me cry from frustration. Sleeves are my kryptonite at the best of times, but I was also working with fabric that was heavy, slippery, and thick, in a narrow arm hole. After several screaming matches with my sewing machine, and a stress and frustration induced break down, my mom ended up inserting the sleeves for me. (Thank you, Mom!)

Then I finally got to see the fully assembled garment and I was thrilled! It really looked like it was shaping up to look like Morgana's coat.

I completed the hem on both the lining and specialty material and the bulk of the garment was complete! But I still needed her belt, and I wanted to make have an under-dress since you can see a flash of the skirt under the coat while Morgana walks. For that, I just adjusted a prom dress that I found at the thriftstore. I shortened it, moved the skirt to be right under the bust, and added straps. I didn't think to get photos of that process since it was mostly pinning and cutting.

I did however, have to make my own lace sleeves for the dress since you can see lace sleeves under Morgana's coat. For this I traced the sleeve of a shirt I already owned.

Then I made a mock up which was way too tight. I added a little extra width, and made another mock up which fit. So then I was able to cut the sleeves out of the lace I removed from the skirt, and I stitched it into the armhole created by adding straps to the modified dress.

As you can see it wasn't the neatest job, but I didn't care since it was going to be covered by the coat anyway. If I wanted to submit this for a contest or anything, I'd probably go through the trouble of making her under-dress too, but this works.

All that was left was her belt. For that, I had ordered a precut YaYa Hahn pleather trim and that gave me the width of my belt. It also gave me the length since there was just enough there to wrap around my waist with some overlap. I cut a strip from the green fabric I used for the sleeves and hood, and black fabric for the belt lining since I was out of the green fabric.

Stitched those together, and flipped it right side out. I left one end open so I could insert two loops to attach the belt buckle to the belt. Then I pinned the trim to the belt and ironed it on. It was iron on trim so I didn't have to sew it.

I inserted the loops through the belt buckle, then tucked the ends into the belt and stitched it closed.

Reveal:

Final Thoughts:

Overall, I am jazzed by how this turned out. I think it looks so much like Morgana. I might need to fix the hem since the first time I wore it, twigs started getting caught in the hem, but that is an issue for future me. My issues are actually more with my makeup. I tried to learn contouring for this. I literally haven't worn makeup since 2019 and I only did basics then. So if anyone wants to let me know tips and tricks, my ask box is open. I also still don't know how for photos.

This project took well over a year to complete. Part of it was the amount of mock ups I did, but part of it was the process of tracking down materials. It took weeks for me to find the right green fabric and I actually bought multiple other fabrics that I returned because they weren't right for it. That it was in my own stash was such a relief while simultaneously the most annoying thing ever. The second snag was finding the belt buckle. I had to get one in the right dimensions to fit the trim for the belt, and apparently belt buckles are impossible to find in a size bigger than an inch. It was complete luck that my friend found something in her closet while she was moving. (If you have buckle resources, please hit me up. I need buckles for another project I'm working on now, and can't find buckles small enough.)

This is the biggest project I've done so far, and I am so proud of myself for it.

[vikenticomeshome]

Cyberchase: How It All Started (Episode 3)

This comic was later renamed to Cyberchase Web Adventures Episode 3.

This is third episode, so let's make the intro more abbreviated.

The only credit for the production was a general copyright by the Educational Broadcasting Corporation. It used to be available for free online. Now, I am archiving it for the fans.

I will use the original 2001 version of the panels with the dark blue border when possible. However, if this is unavailable, I will use the redesigned version with the light-blue border.

If you want to see the comic with the simpler animations, go find my curation from Blue Maxima's Flashpoint Archive Project. I can't reproduce the animations on Tumblr.

I'll save my thoughts for the end, unless I absolutely need to make editor's notes.

Go.

Narration: Having escaped from the clutches of Hacker, Digit returns to Motherboard, and is greeted warmly by Dr. Marbles.

Dr. Marbles: Welcome home, Digit. While we cannot reformat the past - we can upload a brighter future.

Digit: I couldn't have said it better myself, Doc!

Narration: Hacker is furious that Digit changed sides and returned to Motherboard.

The Hacker: Nobody - not Motherboard, not Dr. Marbles, and certainly not that traitorous tin turkey will stop me from becoming the new ruler of Cyberspace!!!

Delete: Yeah, right boss! The new ruler!

Buzz: Gulp! Whatever you say, boss! Right!

Narration: Meanwhile, on Earth, three kids who don't know each other are about to have the adventure of their lives.

Narration: Meet Jackie, who has her own sense of style...

Jackie: I gotta organize this stuff!

Narration: ...and her own way of doing things!

Narration: Matt lives on a farm with his family, and dreams of being the homerun champ. Little does he know he'll soon be a hero of a different kind.

Narration: Matt is into Greek Mythology big time!

Narration: This is Inez - A computer whiz.

Narration: She loves to visit the Cyberworld of the Internet - But never imagined she could really go there!

Editor's Note: Yeah, I still don't know why they made Inez white here.

Narration: Inez has to get to the library before it closes, but she has a bunch of errands to run first.

Inez: Oh, no, this is not good at all!

Editor's Note: There is a later version of this page where they decided that Nezzie needed a helmet. Safety first.

Editor's Note: And now, we play a flash game called "Bike Route".

Inez: Oh Boy! I've got a lot of errands to run and not much time!

Inez: I've made a map that shows all of the places I need to go. Let me show you.

Editor's Note: Her checklist consists of Home, Betty's House, Post Office, Video Store, and Library

Narration: Inez needs to figure out the shortest number of blocks to get all her chores done and get to the library on time. Can you help her do it?

Narration: Here's a map to use. Inez can do the chores in any order, but she has to end up at the library.

Narration: This box shows the number of blocks you have left to get to the library in time.

Narration: These are all of the errands Inez needs to do.

Narration: Click on the blinking dots to move Inez around.

Narration: Well done!

Narration: You got to the library just in time! Now let's go on with the adventure...

Narration: Back in Cyberspace, Hacker works on a plan that will shut down Motherboard's computer circuits once and for all.

Buzz: Grumph mumph gurgle glunk

The Hacker: Charge me up, boys! It's time to wreak some Cyber-havoc!

Delete: Right, boss, right away!

Narration: Inez, Matt and Jackie are about to meet for the very first time.

Inez: Cool! I made it to the library in time!

Jackie: Man, I've got a ton of homework!

Matt: I can't wait to find out more about that Cerberus!

Editor's Note: The books in Jackie's hands have the writing backwards. The larger one is titled "How to Dye Your Own Fabric". The smaller one is too blurry to make out the title.

Narration: Dr. Marbles is busy giving Motherboard a routine upgrade.

Digit: Here we go, Doc. The Didge has whatever you need!

Narration: Meanwhile, inside the Grim Wreaker, Hacker discovers Inez, Matt and Jackie inside the library.

The Hacker: Yes.. Yes! Pay attention you degradable dunce-buckets, Motherboard's hard drive is about to crash!

Narration: Check out the adventures of the Cybersquad Online & on TV

Narration: Check TV Schedule

Editor's Note: This is another case where I believe the original background for this panel has been lost. This panel states "Check out the adventures of the Cybersquad online & on TV". However, the alt text states "STAY TUNED! THE NEW ADVENTURES OF CYBERCHASE ARE STARTING ONLINE & ON TV JANUARY 21ST!"

And that's the end of the comic.

So, what did I think about it? I enjoyed it. They made some odd choices with some of these panels. The first panel shows Motherboard with the background she got after the virus infection during Season 1 Episode 1 "Lost My Marbles". The second panel clearly shows the Crystal of Calamore that The Hacker retrieved during Season 1 Episode 11 "A Day at the Spa". If this is still canon, then that is a very confusing detail. Of course, with all the expansion to The Hacker's backstory on the show over the years, including contradictory information, we don't know whether this is still canon.

I don't understand why they made the library look like a circus tent. I see circles, squares, and triangles on the railing and trees. They must have adapted a screenshot from the Poddleville Pilot. I can't tell what's sticking out of Matt's bag on that panel. It almost looks like The Map from Dora the Explorer. I wonder if that was an easter egg.

[lemontartca]

This took me literally all day. If anyone knows good free/cheap patterns for plain tight pants and shirts for the various MH G3 body types, at this point I'm willing to abandon trying to pattern stuff myself 😅 I thought my human sewing experience would help me, but usually I just make things a bit big and continually take them in, which doesn't work very well at doll scale...

An example of how many patterns I went through, fronts on top and backs on bottom. I also made some separate bottoms which informed the changes in the legholes from V3 to V4. I actually haven't even tried the final version of the bodysuit on the doll, I'm just kind of trusting it works because V3 mostly fit with just some awkwardness (mostly around the leg and armholes). Originally I did intend to make her bodysuit out of two different fabrics and then just draw on the small detail of her waistband, but I couldn't find any fabric that came close to the color of the top half of her bodysuit at the store, so I resigned myself to making a one-piece and "dyeing" it with fabric marker (this is why I haven't tried it on: the marker needs plenty of time to dry before putting on so it doesn't stain her) and honestly I'm glad I did because as you can see, patterning this simple bodysuit was hard enough!

The leggings look like a mess in the back. I honest don't know how they got so messed up. When I was making one leg and testing the fit, and there was always plenty of room in the back, but when I made the pair and sewed them in the front first, they came nowhere close to meeting in the back and I had to sew in a scrap to extend them. The bodysuit and cape will cover all of that, though. Technically I could have made these as legs attached to the bodysuit, this just seemed easier. It will be more accurate and if it ends up leaving a waist/seamline under the bodysuit sobeit.

I want to use patterns in the future just to cut down on the frustrating trial-and-error re-patterning, re-cutting, and resewing because that part took literal hours without enough satisfaction as a pay-off, but I am proud of what I've put together! Just burnt out on sewing, but that's fine because that phase of the project is done. All I have left for the clothes is affixing the cape to the shoulders, but right now the velcro glue is drying there in addition to the marker, so I'm waiting. I went with an unusual pattern of a bodysuit sewn up on every normal seam except the shoulders, which is where the velro is. This way I slip the bodysuit up her legs like you would with shorts. I did this because I wanted to minimize arm movements as much as possible since every one both rubs a bit of paint off and deepens the crack on her left bicep mod. Making the clothes not require any arm movement to put on seemed like the best call, and the shoulder seam will be covered up by the... shoulder pauldron things, anyway.

I'm suspecting already I might redo this doll some day, and if I do that, I'm definitely going to skip the body mods. They were a good experiment, but they were difficult to work with and necessitated me to use way more paint than I wanted to due to how different their starting color and texture was to the rest of the doll. The main reason for revisiting would be to fix the body repaint so she's a lot easier to pose/redress and I can make all her various outfits and enjoy playing with her in them. I'm definitely going to think hard about what I can do for the future body repaints in this series since most will necessitate them, but I guess I can do Mermista and Catra first in the meantime lol (I'm still holding out hope for a G3 Nefera that will make a perfect Netossa... We'll see) and for the most part I'll stick to using the doll's natural skin color for OCs/random customs.

Next steps: Wig cap, wig, pastel blushing on the body and face to color-correct her skintone and add depth, and then finishing up the faceup as I seal those layers of pastels. Once everything's sealed, I can finally dress her, so for now I'll just attach her cape tomorrow and then set them aside. Shoulder pauldrons will be made out of foam clay somewhere along the way, maybe the boots as well though I am a little stumped on them. I have no idea how to do the gloves without painting them on, which will limit her outfits since she's always wearing different ones, so for now I'm leaving them off, but eventually I might settle on a pair for her to use across outfits.

[this-is-not-a-slow-burn]

Bra rant

personal body stuff under the cut

nothing graphic. Just being courteous.

I wear a size 40 I/J (40 G/GG in UK sizes) and have yet to find any bra maker bold enough to make the kind of bra I am looking for.

No wire. Seamless and/or stretchy, (so knit fabrics. Either stretch knit cotton or modal, or nylon stretch) Adjustable straps. Hook and eye closure (front or back is fine. just no pull over the head style) and SEPARATE CUPS. Cups that don't have a connected seam up the center. Cups that know your boobs are two separate entities.

I posted at r/ABraThatFits and got a couple of almost there suggestions, but none were just right.

Yes, having "huge" boobs but wanting a bra that is ultimately not going to provide much support seems like an odd want. But it's what I'm after. Been looking for this for about 10 years now. Harper Wilde *almost* gets there with their Bliss triangle bra! This is basically perfect!

BUT. The separate cup design stops at size medium.

Large to 4XL gets this style with cups that are connected in the middle.

This makes a uniboob situation. I personally don't want a uniboob. Uniboob means your boobs are snuggled up together which makes them sweaty and really uncomfortable. My boobs are very close set at the top, but point out and down and have wide roots. Very little projection. Having them smooshed together is more annoying than going without a bra, but going without a bra so they can "breathe" means they pull on my neck and back muscles.

Trust me when I say I've looked for the kind of bra I want *everywhere* online, in stores, other countries, sewing patterns, and there's just nothing out there.

If I had the means I would get on it and make it myself, but I'm limited there.

(this goes for a bunch of disability related things that don't exist but I have a need for, and if I could I would make them)

I don't have the money to get one custom made (Bras in my size ready made are already $60 at minimum. I used to wear the Elomi Amelia which was $72 , and they never go on sale unless it's a discontinued line. No other bras worked for me.)

[trishmishtree]

How to make a 210-year-old evening gown

Step 1: Find an inspiration gown with woefully few reference photos and no photos of the back.

Step 2: Decide that you want to be able to get in and out of this dress while living alone, and convert what’s definitely supposed to be a back-closing early 1810s gown into an apron front style. Rationalize your decision with the fact that apron front gowns definitely existed in the period, even though they were falling out of fashion. Better to be a few years late than early, right?

Step 3: Find the perfect fabric, or at least as close as you can get to the vibe even though the embroidery on the border is totally ahistorical, and only get 2 yards of it from a store that only sells deadstock fabric. Rationalize this decision with the fact that regency gowns don’t take up that much fabric and the bodices are tiny, so you can probably get away with it.

Step 4: Realize after the rest of the fabric sells out that you definitely didn’t get enough because puffed sleeves take up a lot of fabric, and you barely have enough to make it all the way around the skirt hem. Panic and trawl the internet for embroidered cotton gauze in the exact same shade of off-white as your intended fabric. Somehow manage to find the same fabric but in a different colorway on Etsy and order a yard for 4 times what you paid for the 2 yards of the original fabric. It’s fine because you only really need the off-white gauze part and not the blindingly hot pink border embroidery. Leave the fabric folded up in your stash for a year while you make the underpinnings.

Step 5: Make a regency shift and short stays out of anachronistic fabrics. Rationalize this decision with the fact that no one is going to see them anyway. Then remake the short stays so the cups aren’t as flat.

Step 6: Realize you made the top line of the short stays stick up too far so they show through anything worn over them. Make a gathered partially bodiced petticoat to hide your mistakes. 

Step 7: Decide that the short stays give the wrong silhouette for the early 1810s because they position your bust too low. Do more research and find the Bernhardt stays pattern. Try it out, but don’t take into account that you have scoliosis so you scaled the pattern wrong, and use a bias tape for binding so the top edge of the stays stretches out. 

Step 8: Hate the fit of your new stays. Spend the next 6 months doing some Victwardian historybounding wardrobe projects instead. But also find the time to draft a basic regency block pattern over the shitty stays.

Step 9: Suck it up and revisit the Bernhardt stays pattern. Realize that having scoliosis means the scaling up method just won’t work for you. Completely bastardize the pattern and do a gazillion handsewn mockups until you have an underbust design that you can’t post pictures of, because decency.

Step 10: Have a friend who bought an ugly shapeless sack of a dress and hated it and gave it to you. Take the dress apart and turn it into a new bodiced petticoat. 

Step 11: Realize that your pink cotton voile chemise proportions are wrong for the higher bustline and make a new regency shift, this time out of linen and with way more room in the bust and shoulders and everything.

Step 12: Make the gown bodice using the bodice block you drafted months ago. Be completely shocked that it actually fits over the correct silhouette from the new stays. Then be less surprised when you realize it’s adjustable. Make a mental note that the front panels should probably slant down a little more in the future, in order to curve under the bust.

Step 13: Draft a sleeve pattern by completely winging it. Get it right on the first try. Add the sleeves to the bodice. Embroider the gown bodice, because you couldn’t find an appropriately embroidered fabric and resolved to hand-embroider it because who ever wanted to do things the easy way? 

Step 14: Add drawstrings to the insides of the sleeves so you can adjust the height and puffiness of them. Cut out the skirt and line the front panel for extra structure. Have a decently good time doing colonial knots on the front skirt panel. Have a decidedly less good time trying to embroider tiny dots on the rest of the skirt, which does not have a lining backing it. Give up halfway through and sew the skirt and bodice to the cotton twill tape that will serve as the backing to the waistband.

Step 15: Take pictures because it looks pretty from the back, even though the bottom half of the skirt still needs embroidery, and you still haven’t finished the front skirt panel or the bodice front bib or the waistband.

To be continued...

[inkovert]

Ok I decided to share a heartfelt sibling moment (thank you @leebrontide for chiming in on my last post ☺️) bc I haven't really showcased the depth of love/care/protection etc between Cami and her brother Jeremy. And I really love this scene between them and the way it turned out 🥰.

CW: discussions of self-harm, grief, loss of a parent. allusion to suicide.

The minute I reached the porch, the front door flew open, Jeremy standing in the doorway in a T-shirt and shorts. 

“You good? What the hell was that cryptic ass message you sent me?” 

I’d wanted to be strong, hold it together as I explained everything to him. But the minute I saw him, I broke. Rushing forward, I dropped my bag and wrapped my arms around his neck. 

“I’m sorry, Jer. I’m so sorry. I didn’t know…I wasn’t—” I sobbed, my chest heaving between each sentence. 

Shutting the door, he drew me into his arms. “Sorry for what? Cami, what happened?”

“All the running. The way I took off in the middle of the night that day. You’ve been so scared and I —“ I gasped for air to finish my thought. “I wasn’t trying to hurt myself. If I was I didn’t know, I just…was in so much pain and I didn’t know what to do and I —“ I curled into his chest. 

Chin resting against my head, he stroked my hair gently, soothingly. “It’s okay.”

I shook my head against the fabric of his shirt. “It’s not. I’m the older one. I’m supposed to be responsible. I’m supposed to look out for you, but I’m such a mess. I’m such a fucking mess, Jer, and I don’t want you to have to deal with…to think that after everything, one day, you might lose me, too.” I curled my hands into fists. “I wasn’t thinking. I wasn’t thinking about how it was affecting you. I’m such an idiot. I’m so sorry.” 

We stood there and he remained quiet as I continued gasping between sobs in his arms. 

Once I’d settled down, he pulled back to look at me. “Want me to make you some tea?” 

I sniffled, nodding. 

He set a mug of Earl Grey tea on the counter in front of me, taking a seat in the adjacent bar stool. 

“Thanks,” I mumbled, closing my hands around the cup to feel its warmth. 

Elbow on the counter, he leaned his cheek against his palm and studied me. “You’re not an idiot,” he said softly. “You’re not a mess either. You’re grieving. We both are. We just do it in different ways.” 

I made an irritated noise at the back of my throat. “How come your way seems a lot more graceful and put together than mine?” 

He paused for a moment, then, reaching into his pocket, he pulled out his phone. Pulling something up, he set it down before me. It was a list of voicemails. I shot him a confused look. 

He pressed play on the first one and I gasped as my father’s deep, rich voice filled the room.

Son, I know you’re practicing hard out there on the school field but don’t stay out too late or your mother will get worried. I’m giving you another hour before I come and get you, alright? Love you. Bye.

He clicked on the next.

Son, I know the only thing that goes on in that head of yours is soccer but you’ve got to get more responsible. You left your whole science project on the counter. I’m gonna head over and drop it off for you, alright? I’m glad that you’ve found something that makes you happy but you’ve gotta make some room in that head of yours for some life skills. Pretty soon I’m gonna be old and gray and you’re gonna be the man of the house. Anyway, I’m on my way. Love you. Bye.

And the next. 

Son, I’m at the clothing store in the shoe section and I see these real nice sneakers here that you might like. Just calling to find out your shoe size. You’ve been growin’ too fast and the way you be stomping around the house like Bigfoot, tells me I might be a few sizes off. Call me back, okay? Love you. Bye.

I laughed at the last message, a tear breaking free and coursing down my cheek. 

“Every night before I go to sleep,” Jeremy said, “I lay in bed and listen to each one of these. Every single one. I’ve been doing it for the past three hundred seventeen days since he died and I know all forty-three by heart.” His Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat as he swallowed. “Every week I have pillowcases soaked through with tears. Some nights I can barely bring myself to sleep and so I listen to these on repeat. Over and over again until sunrise.”

I gaped at him, bewildered. “I…I had no idea.”

A weak smile. “I know. Just because I grieve privately doesn’t mean it’s any less messy or any more graceful than you.” Feeling guilty, I stared down into my mug. “You and me. We’re all we have, Cami. You may not think I get everything you’re going through, and you’re probably right, I don’t. But I get it a hell of a lot more than anyone else will. I want you to be able to talk to me when you’re upset, angry, frustrated, feeling hopeless. All of it. All the messy, unpleasant stuff. Even if you can’t put it into words. Even if you think I won’t fully get it. I want you to lean on me.”

I bit my lower lip to stop it from trembling. I nodded, then reached over to squeeze his hand tight and whispered, “You, too,” 

[rhymeswithmeg]

OKay it isn't like an exact 1:1 but I felt pretty epic with my wool cape anyway! two people I talked to knew the show but didn't immediately recognize my costume as kit and there's definitely some things I would do differently/better if I had more time/money/energy.

in the process of putting this costume together i also figured out that kit has a couple variations of what she's wearing throughout the series. i based my costume mostly off of the vibes and this picture of the exhibit when willow was first released.

anyway, here's how i did it! in case this is helpful for anyone :D be forewarned, i've never done anything like this before as a costume and i haven't really read much about costuming, this is just what worked for me. i got everything second-hand, but none of the stuff is too hard to come by.

my favorite thing - the top! what i got was the Express Silky V-neck Ruched top. i LOVE the sleeves and the neckline is exactly right and this is totally something i can wear for all kinds of stuff in the future so i'm super excited about that.

2. the cloak was definitely my second favorite part of the costume because of the DRAMA. i was lucky enough to find a big sheet of navy blue wool at the thrift store, so i bought some fabric dye and dyed it black to match kit's cloak.

my cloak was definitely way bigger than kit's (mine was 60" by 90" and i'd estimate hers was like 40" by 70") but I just couldn't bring myself to cut up such a great piece of wool more than i needed (i guess that's the fiber craft enthusiast in me). to make the neck hole, i measured a foot out from the long edge in the middle and cut a hole with a diameter of 4.5" which i found was just big enough to squeeze my head through with the give in the fabric.

i think my next steps for this would be to cut the wool to the right size and line it, especially near the neckline because wool is itchy!

3. not pictured above but also pretty cool is this leather shacket-type thing. unbeknownst to me, leather (both faux and real) in sizeable quantities is pretty expensive - which makes sense in the scheme of things, but not really for this project.

4. the belt/waist cincher thing was surprisingly hard to find. and i still didn't get it quite right! this one was pretty close i think, but i wish i could find something closer. i guess i'll just have to pick up leatherworking before next year!

5. the crystal necklace! i think it's canonically jade (for obvious jade claymore-related reasons), but i just found this green one and it turned out really cute! i definitely want to learn how to make this kind of stuff because it looks so fun.

6. for pants, i just wore my black ripstop pants because they're the same texture as whatever kit has on in the show and they're also pretty comfy. i can't find the brand or tag but i think they're just black scrubs.

7. boots - if i had brown riding boots, that would have been perfect, but i did have different brown leather boots that did the job! i think boot toppers might be in order next time, but i ran out of time. i have these boots and i love them so much! not an ad, but like - they're waterproof and they make me feel like a boss bitch when i'm walking down the street so that's definitely something.

8. and then literally to top it all off, i went to the hairdressers and showed her these pictures and she was able to get my hair pretty close to how ruby's is in the show!

more costume reference photos but they're not that good because for some reason i forgot screenshots existed??

so yeah! hopefully you enjoyed- i definitely did!!

it does make me wonder-- there are big parts of the show where kit doesn't have her cloak or her sword or her bow & quiver and then she just randomly has them again? maybe i'm just not putting the pieces together or maybe it's ~magic~ oooh

i did the same thing last year for one of nancy wheeler's Stranger Things outfits so lmk if you want to see more of this. if not, i might just post it anyway because it's my blog <3

gonna be kit tanthalos for halloween and it's going to be sick so stay tuned

me in like a week:

[quantifynorthamerica]

Mastering the Metal: 7 Professional Tips for Perfect Metal Painting Every Time

When it comes to construction projects, metalwork is often a centerpiece, providing structural integrity and aesthetic appeal. And when metalwork is front and center, a flawless paint job becomes a necessity. 

So, how do professionals achieve that perfect finish, void of streaks, bubbles, or chips? The answer lies in mastering the art and science of metal fabrication and metal painting. If you're in the construction industry, understanding some key tips can be a game-changer.

Our world today is so advanced that it's no longer sufficient to just slap on a coat of paint and call it a day. Professionals in the construction industry understand that metal painting when done right, can transform a project from average to awe-inspiring. So, buckle up as we delve into these seven tips that every professional must know to excel in metal painting.

1. Proper Surface Preparation is Key

Let’s kick things off with a universally acknowledged truth: the secret to a sensational paint job is all in the prep work. It's like baking; even if you have the best ingredients (in our case, paint), if you don’t prep right, that cake (or metal surface) is not going to look or taste good.

Firstly, get up close and personal with that metal surface. Inspect every nook and cranny. Using a wire brush or sandpaper, be the hero that banishes away old paint, rough patches, or any rust trying to claim territory. This isn’t just about aesthetics; a super-clean surface means paint clings better and resists chipping.

But wait, there's more. After your cleaning spree, you're not just ready to splash on the paint. Take an extra moment to prime that metal surface. A good primer acts like the best wingman, ensuring that your paint looks good and sticks around for the long haul.

2. Choose the Right Paint

Stepping into a paint store can be like entering a candy shop for adults. Rows of vibrant colors, shiny tins, and, oh, the possibilities. But while all those options can send your imagination into overdrive, remember this: metal is no ordinary canvas, and it demands its special kind of paint.

Think of your metal surface as a VIP guest. Would you serve just any drink to a VIP? No, right? So, always select high-quality, metal-specific paints. Epoxy and enamel paints are like the champagne of the paint world for metals. They not only provide a gleaming finish but also stand the test of time. For more details visit us at https://quantifyna.com/.

And here's a tiny secret: those premium paints? They're not just about brand bragging rights. They genuinely offer a richer color, longevity, and protection that standard paints might struggle with.

3. Use Appropriate Tools

Imagine trying to eat soup with a fork. Sounds absurd, right? Similarly, using the wrong tools for painting can lead to frustrating results. For metal painting, your tools are your trusty sidekicks, ensuring that every stroke is purposeful and effective.

For those smaller areas or intricate details, brushes are your best friend. They offer precision and control. When covering vast metal expanses, rollers come into play. They're the speedsters of the paint world, letting you cover ground quickly. Want to feel like a painting superhero? Grab a paint sprayer. It promises a silky-smooth finish faster than you can say "perfect paint job."

But remember, quality matters. It might be tempting to save a few bucks on cheaper tools, but trust us, investing in top-notch brushes, rollers, and sprayers can make the difference between an "okay" and an "oh wow" paint job.

4. Opt for Multiple Thin Coats

Alright, pop quiz time. What's better: gobbling down a whole chocolate bar in one go or savoring it piece by piece? Similarly, in the painting realm, layering thin, delicious coats is much more rewarding than a thick, hurried slather. Think of it as the art of patience. Each layer, meticulously applied, contributes to a result that's nothing short of masterful.

Thin coats have their party tricks: they dry quicker, minimize unsightly drips, and avoid those pesky bubbles. So, instead of rushing for that intense one-coat coverage, embrace the zen of layering. After each coat, take a breather, let it dry, and give it a once-over. You're not just painting; you're crafting a masterpiece.

5. Mind the Weather

Weather isn't just about deciding if you need an umbrella or sunglasses for the day. When you're knee-deep in a painting project, Mother Nature can be your best ally or your trickiest adversary. It's like planning a picnic; you wouldn’t head out without checking if rain is on the horizon, right?

For painting, especially with metal, the elements play a starring role. Paint adores a warm, dry day. It basks in it, dries uniformly, and flaunts its best colors. However, throw in some unexpected moisture, chilling cold, or sweltering heat, and you might find your paint acting all sorts of moody.

Keep an eye on the forecast. A dash of planning can save you heaps of rework and disappointment.

6. Regular Maintenance is Essential

So, you've painted that metal surface, and it looks like a million bucks. But wait, the journey doesn't end there. Think of your freshly painted metal like a garden. With a bit of regular care, it'll continue to bloom and impress.

Every so often, play detective. Whip out your magnifying glass and inspect for any chips, scratches, or signs of wear and tear. Addressing these minor hiccups early can prevent a more significant headache later. 

A gentle cleaning routine can also work wonders. Keeping the metal free from dust, grime, and corrosive agents ensures the paint continues to shine bright like a diamond.

Still in doubt? Remember that "metal painting services near me" search on Google? They often provide maintenance insights or even services to keep your painted surface in tip-top shape.

7. Stay Updated with Industry Trends

The world of painting isn’t static; it's as dynamic as the latest fashion week. New shades, innovative techniques, breakthrough products: it's all happening. So, why not be in the know?

Just like you wouldn't want to be the last person to know about the latest blockbuster movie, staying updated in the metal painting world ensures you're always a step ahead. Be a trendsetter, experiment with the latest products, and flaunt those results.

Subscribing to industry magazines, joining online forums, or attending workshops can be your golden ticket. Soak in that knowledge and dazzle with your up-to-date expertise.

Conclusion

Metal painting, when executed with precision and expertise, can elevate the overall look and durability of any construction project. It’s a combination of artistry, science, and patience. By mastering these seven professional tips, you're well on your way to delivering stellar results every time. Whether you're a seasoned professional or someone looking to delve deeper into the industry, remember that perfection lies in the details. 

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