#but why not have a little fun on the way amirite

[sokovianfortune]

currently fantasizing about a wanda stan's worst nightmare (animatic set to confrontation from jekyll and hyde)

[demonclownhotti3]

Have you ever watched something and a series of oddly specific kinks awoken in you afterwards?

[stem-sister-scuffle]

STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 1 MASHUP 5

Dr. Olivia Octavius (Spider-Man Into The Spiderverse) vs Ms. Frizzle (The Magic School Bus)

Dr. Olivia Octavius is a Quantum Physicist and Roboticist!

Ms. Frizzle is a Science Teacher!

Why you should vote for each contestant:

Dr. Olivia Octavius:

""If you stay in this dimension too long, your body’s going to disintegrate. Do you know how painful that would be, Peter Parker? You can’t imagine. And I, for one, can’t wait to watch." I love deranged evil women she is the character of all time to me"

"Dr. Olivia Octavius, also known as Doctor Octopus, is the secondary antagonist of Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse. She's also known as 'Liz' by her friends, one of them being Peter Parker's aunt May. She is an evil scientist, CEO of the science research & development company known as Alchemax. She's the scientific advisor for The Kingpin's inventions to open up portals to other dimensions. She's an evil woman in STEM girlboss."

"feral :)"

"Oh I heard you like mad scientist girlies???"

"I know she’s evil but I love her shes so cool. Have you seen her. I support womens wrongs <3"

"MILF. Evil. What more does she need? wowza"

"shes not the best shes the worst and she owns it. milf i mean. who said that"

"I mean. just look at her. she has the robo arms, the awesome hair. also if I recall, she's also been in science educational videos for kids"

"Proves herself as a competent fighter able to take on multiple spider-men at once, plus rocks the mad scientist look"

"Successfully works as a kids' science show presenter while also being a supervillain and working on sketchy projects. Is an absolute dork about her work and about cool phenomena in a way that's really endearing right up until she threatens to lock someone up to slowly die so she can study the phenomenon that's killing them. Probably put bugs in the microwave as a kid to see what happens.

Yes she did get hit by a truck in the fight and disappear but I fully believe she lived and ended up in some other universe.

1. She's a supervillain, she's definitely been hit by a truck before. 2. Out of everyone fighting in there she's had the most experience with this sorr of thing. While missteps are possible she would be going into it with some idea of what the risks are and how to deal with them. 3. Isekai truck trope 4. If she did end up in another universe she would totally find a way to keep herself stable there. She's got science knowledge and robotic limbs built for crime. 5. I like her and I think it would be really funny.

Why did I make this part mostly ""no she isn't dead"". It'd still be funny even if she was dead tbh.

I cosplayed her once and that is irrelevant to the poll but idk. She's fun."

"it's so rare to have female mad scientists in media like her, she's a role model to girls who want to commit crimes against the spacetime continuum everywhere. she's very important"

"She's really cute, too bad about all the murder and stuff :/ Women's wrongs, amirite?👍"

"She has a "For Science!" attitude that makes most male mad scientist look sane and safety minded. I would gladly be her intern/minion. <3"

"is only here to do science for Nefarious Purposes. science without any regard for moral cost. idk i love that this character type gets to be a milf for once. we love to see an evilgirl winning"

"mad scientist lady. cool as hell hair. evil girlboss."

"She's evil. She's evil and I love her"

"Evil milf with giant robot arms that loves chaos."

"Mastered multiple disciplines, managed to break barriers between dimensions, which even in superhero realms is a bit impressive. STEM girlies should be allowed to go a little evil/feral/unhinged. as a treat."

"She is evil! She is sexy! She employs usage of soft robotics into her prosthetic tentacles, is the head scientist at Alchemax, and quite literally built a machine that creates a portal to alternate dimensions! Get you a girl that can both make educational science videos and also rip open a portal to alternate dimensions under dubious moral conditions."

"she's sooooooo cool"

"She is a girlboss she tried to make a portal and while she’s a villain she isn’t the Evillest out there… babygirl head scientist Her glasses are shaped like octagons :3"

Ms. Frizzle:

"*gestures at entire magic school bus series*"

"Embodies the true spirit of scientific discovery: barely-contained chaos."

"She is very knowledgeable about a wide variety of sciences, and uses that knowledge to further the educations of many people. Teachers deserve the world; they do so much for so little in return. (shout out to Mrs. Goates)"

"She loves science and loves teaching kids about science. I love her. Idk I saw she only had one submission and that made me sad so now im here submitting her"

"She is an icon and has cool earrings"

"SHE'S SO COOL!!! She's so smart and so fun and genuinely just an icon. ALSO she has a little lizard on her shoulder. I saw an ask abt the submissions for Ms. Frizzle and the sender was the only person who submitted her.. I couldn't let this go. ALSO one of my professors irl called herself the irl Frizzle and she's a doctor of biology so make of that what you will"

[argentior]

Headshots of the apathy adoring guys.

Sketch ver

apathy adoring is a self-indulgent rewrite of redo of healer that is probably at least a little influenced by the way too many manhwa/manga with dubious relationships I've read. Which is to say for some reason I looked at Redo of Healer and thought "I can make a messed-up Josei story out of this" and ended up doing it. Still has dark themes though so like. Careful before you click.

Anyway. Notes on the guys as of Ch 11 and general apathy adoring notes/spoilerish recap if anyone cares to read that I suppose. Random summary stuff and fun facts.

The Boy | Keyaru

Protagonist of Redo of Healer. The premise of that thing is that this guy at 14 years old was abused physically and sexually for 2 years because his semen can raise the level cap of others. It be one of those magic with numbers and a limited slot of skills fantasy worlds. He goes back in time and carries out a long rape revenge seinen fantasy thing. I did not like that. I don't know why the fic got into my brain so much.

Still out for revenge in the fanfic. He ran away from Alban and managed to eat a couple more poisonous plants and fungi relative to canon before he was caught this time, so his immunity to drugs and poison kicked in sooner.

Was still caught, healed Kureha, allows himself to be abused for the revenge plan, that whole deal.

Interested in the maid because of previous timeline memories. Infatuated by the Maid/reader in this current timeline due to the chain of events that occurred that resulted in more interactions. (Came in later, she was assigned to clean him up, and it just went on and on)

A notable differences from the source material includes him playing along and "getting better" at healing publicly so he gets to stay out of the dungeon some days. I was getting tired of writing scenes in the dungeon.

Has introduced himself to the Maid/reader character. So she knows his name. She just refuses to acknowledge it.

The weirdest thing he's done in the story so far: used healing magic to kind of transform his hand into being like the Maid's wounded one and kissed it.

Main aim when writing him: Pitiful enough to make you help but there's something wrong with him that makes you regret it. Or maybe you're just being paranoid.

The Knight | Bako

Appears in the light novel/manga and is killed shortly after. Was used by Keyaru and his group because Bako was the "most sane of the knights" whatever that means. In the novel it was murder after his aid because he was involved in the attack on Keyaru's village and could have spread knowledge if Keyaru's party, in the manga it was because he attacked Keyaru's group in revenge for killing Renard. Renard had taken him in. He's vice captain of Princess Flare (first/main abuser of Keyaru)'s knights.

In the fic he's a coward who is aware of Renard's atrocities but is too attached to his father figure to really do anything about it.

Infatuated with the maid due to projecting. He is very aware of what the kingdom does to the boy in the dungeon but you know. Coward.

Savior Complex.

I hate his hair why are you so spiky.

Has no colored version in the manga. Was that insignificant. Chose blond hair for the "knight in shining armor pretty gold good and righteous" imagery and steel blue eyes and something dull and different from the red eyes of the other guys. Also. Similar to Renard.

Main aim when writing him: physically strong/imposing but kind of pathetic if you're not in a fight-or-flight headspace.

Yukito | Harris | The Rabbit

An oc I made to balance out the cast. What's a josei without 3 guys amirite haha

No but like sincerely. A character to balance out whatever freak stuff is happening with the other two. Also probably delves into the idea of free will and consent somewhat.

Is a rabbit demi-human (basically a rabbit boy). Escaped slave, gave his "true name" to the Maid/Reader after they met by chance, which by source material lore means that he is bound to her mind and heart, body and soul. She is Not Happy about this.

Has chopped his ears and tail off and is blending in as the "human" Harris surprisingly well. Being albino tends to answer the question of why he hides his face for most people.

Main aim when writing him: a decent, sweet person in unfortunate circumstances. Kind of the physical manifestation of the idea of running away, which even if possible the maid thinks of too much of a dream than actual choice.

Bonus

The Maid | The Reader

Low level low magic horrible stats. Instead of being a competent warrior like the other staff in the palace, she is just good at cleaning.

Very tired, very paranoid. Violent intrusive thoughts.

Wary of all the boys. No attraction to any of them lol.

But if pressed. And had to stick to any of them. It would be Yukito.

[thescribblings]

Long post ahead! (It got out of hand, this is very wordy)

So! I've mentioned his second prosthetic. I've spent a while trying to draw some sort of visual aid to my explanations since I'm not the best with words lol-

I also might have burned myself out a bit but anyway-

Here's what i came up with!

Individuals, backstory, and info under the cut!

Backstory - prosthetic - random notes

How about a little storytime then?

Leo was 23. He and raph were leading a supply run, and everything was fine until they bumped into sister krang, and she brought backup. How lucky amirite?

Lets fast forward a bit towards the end of the battle, troops were fighting hounds, zombies, tech - you name it, they fought it. And while that's happening, Raph had taken on sister krang herself in an attempt to stall for everyone to escape, and leo was trying to make a path through the chaos for the troops.

But no matter his size, raph wasn't strong enough to take on sister krang alone. Leo knew this, raph knew this, She knew this. Leo started making his way over to raph, sprinting and teleporting left and right, getting glimpses of that stable red and her sadistic smile.

When he was almost there, leo got knocked back a few hundred feet by a sudden explosion, knocking him out for a minute or so

Miraculously he was fine when he came to and started his mad dash towards raph once again, but before he could reach him, sister krang reeled her hand back and plunged it straight into his construct, dead center.

Leo screamed when his construct started falling apart, but raph only smiled at him before it fizzled out completely. Then sister krang finally noticed leo, her smile turning to a sneer. This unlocked something in leo, giant blue portals opening under all the troops, sending them anywhere else while he reached his older brothers mangled corpse.

While he was mourning, krang knocked him away. All he managed to grab was raph's mask as he flew across the battlefield and passed out on impact.

Sadistic as she was, sister krang decided to have fun with him. He woke to his odachi laying broken, just out of reach. While she was slowly breaking his right arm off before tossing it to a hound as a treat, then she started slowly, excruciatingly carving away at his leg, from his hip to his knee, all the way to his femur.

She then grabbed his femur and twisted it out of its socket as slowly as she could, laughing. He managed one more burst of ninpo, teleporting himself, his severed leg, and his odachi out of harms way.

Onto the prosthesis!

Here he is! My favorite middle-aged turtle

What you see here is his uncovered prosthetic since he took off the sleeve for this (more on that later), the majority of his thigh had been too damaged to save from sister krangs little torture session, and instead of just doing something like a rotationplasty and calling it a day

(Image taken from google)

Donnie decided to just remove the damaged tissue and replace it with nanotechnology instead.

Since his femur was left with krang, donnie made him a new one out of some sort of metal as well. It's hollow because why not. but let's talk nanotech, yeah?

I'm not the best at explaining these things (and i only have a surface level understanding of it), but I'll try.

If you've ever watched endgame and watched when Iron Man tapped his chest and his suit built itself on the spot, that's nanotech. Teeny tiny pieces of metal that make something bigger! Or, if you've watched Big Hero 6, it's kinda like the nanobots. The gist is that you just have to program the tech to do what you want. In this case, it's been programmed to act as muscle tissue.

The tech formed individual muscle strands that interlocked with his remaining muscle. That way, it had a pretty straightforward connection. Why make something complex when the body is a perfectly functional mechanism in and of itself?

So, as you might assume with an injury this severe, it took months upon months to heal, even with their impressive healing factor, this is a lot. And to avoid oberwhelming Leo's body and mind too much while he's healing, donnie decided to manually keep the severed leg alive in a machine that simulates the body, providing oxygen and nutrients, and of course, doing physical therapy on a set schedule.

Let me tell you, leo did not like this at all. He was forced to look at the bloody remnants of his leg constantly, always reminded of everything he lost in that last battle for months.

Donnie installed the ports separately and let them heal before reattaching the limb months later. This was especially rough for leo as he had literally lost an arm and a leg and was forced to look at the bloody proof 24/7. When his leg was finally back on his body, he hated it. It felt weird and unnatural at first, but soon enough, he refused to take it off at all.

Present day, he forgets it's a prosthetic half the time, he's just so used to it that it's become part of him, the only time the realisation hits that yes, his leg is gone now, is when he has to do maintenance on it. (lil more on that later, not much, tho)

The prosthetic was designed to function just like an ordinary leg would, and it was a success! It acts just like it did before the injury.

You might be wondering how his reattached leg is still alive, right? Since, y'know, there's nothing but tech connecting it to his body now. Remember how the femur is hollow? There are actually teeny tiny pipes running through the walls of his femur that provide blood to his leg!

At first i thought i could make blood pass through the metal muscle like it would with flesh, but i quickly realised a major flaw in that, were he to, say, get stabbed or something, the muscle would rebuild in moments sure, but there would be blood in the prosthesis and he might get some deadly blood disease from it so-

I decided it would be more practical for it to pass through the femur, since it would take some very severe damage to the prosthetic for it to cause any actual issues, even if he did get stabbed or slashed he would be stunned, but over-all fine when the tech retakes its shape

Now, you might be thinking 'well it can't possibly be removable! It must be permanent' jokes on you. It's completely detachable!

Kinda rushed these drawings, lol, but you get the gist

This whole 'secondary prosthetic' idea is something i actually thought of while drawing these! Since it would be pretty flawed if he was suddenly bedridden or reliant on someone strong enough to carry him if they suddenly needed to escape, lol (my boy weighs like 200+ kg, sure, it's doable, but it's better if he can handle himself in emergencies)

So! His leg can, in fact, be removed! It'll sustain itself for upwards of 12 hours with the built-in mechanism that circulates and provides oxygen and nutrients to the blood in his leg, i won't go into too much detail about that whole process since i already wrote down the gist of it in the picture itself.

What i didn't mention is that the secondary prosthetic is optional, so he can choose to just go legless if he feels like it. He never really went without it in the apocalypse, usually choosing to keep up his everyday work instead of taking a break for once in his miserable life. but now that he's safe and all, he usually just hangs out on the couch or something. Actually, there's some emotions here

When he does take it off, mainly for maintenance, he gets hit with the realisation that he had, in fact, lost most of his leg, followed by depressive episodes where he refuses to leave his room - the couch - or any space he percieves as safe until it's back on. Usually, he ends up moping on the couch bundled up in at least two blankets until his leg is returned to him or, more commonly, he usually does maintenance on it himself, and yes, he mopes the entire time. He will mope for hours on end without saying a single word at times

Donnie, ever the tech enthusiast, invented a whole new fucking metal for this prosthetic, it's specifically made so that normal x-rays pick it up as bone and flesh instead of metal, he also designed a special x-ray that sees the prosthetic as metal, of course. But they usually just used the regular ones just in case something got caught in the tech

Since leo is, well.. leo. He did sometimes store raph's mask in the hollow space in his femur, donnie highly discouraged it but jokes on him. His mask was also stored in there at some point. It wasn't a common occurrence, of course. Just mainly when he wanted to hide them from someone who would have otherwise seen them on the handle of his (very historically inaccurate btw, i did some research), custom nagamaki blade, it's more based on a nagamaki blade than it is an actual nagamaki blade, leo wanted it that way lol

Onto the sleeve!

As you might have noticed, he's missing some skin, right? Not to worry! Donnie designed a protective cover out of a silicon like material. It's like artificial skin!

Showing you his most commonly worn sleeve while standing like the gayest middle-aged turtle you ever did see

When i draw him in colour, his sleeve will most likely be black, as it's my favorite colour on him lol.

His two main ones are black and green, the green one is a bit off in colour, a bit too saturated compared to his scales, it matched his skintone better when he was younger since his scales have dulled with age. And as of right now, none of his sleeves have his markings on them. They're all pretty plain

And as you can see, the sleeve makes his leg look completely normal in shape! You wouldn't even know it's fake if he wore full lenght pants! (Don't tell him i called it a fake leg, he'd smack me lol) anywho, the green sleeve is more discreet if he wants to wear shorts out in public without catching everyones attention, y'know?

He 100% has like three of these just laying around. We all know he's gonna get stabbed, donnie knew, at least

(Sidenote, remember how he lost his arm at the same time? And how raph died? He begged donnie to model his new arm after raph for a very special reason. 'So he and raph could still fight side by side', sappy, i know)

I definitely missed something, and i might add it later if i remember what it is, but here it is! My own prosthetic design

Thank you vv much for reading!

Have nice day

[literaticat]

Dear Jen, Do you know why are all the editors are leaving Chronicle? Should authors be wary of subbing there? What is going on??? Thanks

(Jenn, or Jennifer. Thx!)

Yes, there's been a fair amount of churn at Chronicle. I can give you a little timeline, but please know (ESPECIALLY if you are any of the people I'm alluding to!) -- I TRULY LOVE CHRONICLE, I love every editor who was there and is there, I count them among my friends, I have MANY successful and beautiful books with Chronicle, more coming, and I hope to have many more in the future. I am not talking trash or giving any particular "inside scoop" here, this is just an outside perspective that I think/hope is at least relatively accurate and neutral.

So first of all: Many editors leave the publishers they start with at some point, because sometimes, that's how you get a promotion if you are in a rut where you are, and if you are in NYC, you can just apply to another job down the street. This tended to happen LESS often at Chronicle than at most NYC publishers, because pre-pandemic especially, if you live in San Francisco and you want to stay in San Francisco... that's the publisher in San Francisco! So many editors who started there never left the way a NYC editor might. But then the pando happened, and lots of work got remote, and it was less imperative to be tethered to one location. This is where our tale begins.

A couple (few?) years back they lost an editor who had a lot of books. (For a good reason, she got a different job, yay for her). However, they didn't replace her, and all those books got assigned to the remaining editors on top of their pretty full workloads. That's a lot -- but OK, so far so good.

Then there was some kind of upper-management rearrangement or something (way above the editor's pay grade, nothing to do with them) -- but the result is, they lost a couple of key managerial positions and didn't replace them for a while, so there was a power vacuum -- nobody was really in charge or able to hire more people to help.

Meanwhile (at least as far as I can tell), there were too many books and not enough editors, burnout / fatigue / life changes happened to cause a diabolical domino effect where one editor left so the others had EVEN MORE books and burnt out even faster, another left, burnout faster, another one left. So now, very unfortunately, many of the "original" Chronicle editors (by which I mean people that had been there about as long as I've been agenting or longer) are gone.

The good news is, there's a new boss, who seems to know what's what, there are still a couple folks left who have institutional knowledge, and there has been at least one great new hire, with I'm sure more on the horizon.

SO: The metaphorical Good Ship Chronicle hit a storm and sustained some damage, lost a captain and some crew, and was starting to capsize, but now has somebody new at the helm and is in the process of being righted. This is not a process that will or can happen quickly -- but it's happening. The passengers on board are hanging tight. I don't know if new passengers need to be WARY per se -- but I would suspect that the ship wouldn't really WANT to take on a bunch of new passengers until there's some more crew on board and they are sure it is smooth sailing. So, you know. Expect delays. (publishing, amirite?!)

(PS: I don't know too much about boats, but you get the picture!)

(PPS: Do you know the difference between "flotsam" and "jetsam"? THAT, I do know. Flotsam describes debris of a boat -- after a shipwreck, say -- cargo or bits of wood or whatever that are floating around. Jetsam describes things that are deliberately thrown off a boat by sailors when they have to lighten the load because they are in distress and sinking or something. You can remember because "floating = flotsam / jettison = jetsam". That's your fun fact for the day!)

[raayllum]

Very non-consequential, but still fun question: what animal do you associate with each of the main trio? (plus anyone else you feel like doing!)

I overthought this question because I couldn't just do animals in general and had to go with specific species so:

Callum is a bird, obviously. The boy loves his Ocean arcanum too but birds have the wings, and the intelligence and mating for life bonds (more often), and sharp little beaks that can gouge your eyes out. Man has teeth. Let's leave them there.

From there it was whittling down which bird to pick, so I learn towards either a standard Rock Pigeon or a Clark's Nutcracker bird.

Rock Pigeon

Rock pigeons for a few reasons.

Elegant but not overly pretty, which fits Callum pretty well. He's grown into a handsome boy but he'll always have a tiny bit of awkwardness, and the green sheen nicely ties into his eyes

Callum's name means dove, and pigeons and doves are very similar overall. However, Callum is less squeaky clean/outright peaceful than just a dove would indicate, so pigeons have a more grey/black down to earth colouring felt right. "Dirtying yourself with dark magic" and all that

They mate for life, which is a memo re: Rayla Callum has definitely gotten on board with lbr here

Pigeons are very smart, remembering faces, see the world in complex colours (artist anyone) and able to navigate complex routes to find locations / their way home (hence why they were used as messenger birds during wartime).

At his best, Callum is very communicative, has a great memory, and will eventually learn to navigate his own path away from others' imposed destinies on him

Clark's Nutcracker

They're in the Corvidae family like crows and ravens, which makes me happy, as those are two of my favourite birds

Again has the intelligence that our boy needs/deserves; these guys in particular are very good at prying seeds apart with their beaks, which gives me key of Aaravos / Callum unlocking secrets vibes

Sharp pointy beak to bite/stab people with. It's what he deserves

They also mate for life hell yeah

I also feel like they somehow match him better aesthetically but Idk why so grain of salt

Rayla I defaulted pretty easily to either a wolf or honestly more likely an arctic fox.

I wanted something smaller and more solitary than a wolf, since even within her village community Rayla has always been an outsider

Also very influenced by aesthetic (white, fluffy, slim) in addition to being loyal the way canines tend to be + a hunting animal bc like look at her swords

They also change colours as their coats update with the seasons, which felt very on par with how Rayla has transformed her wardrobe colours and herself / tries to take on different faces and identities depending on where she is on her arc

Constantly shifting like the moon amirite?

They are described as playful, cunning, cheeky, and curious

Bc they're heavily arctic animals / places with long winters, they depend more than other animals on hiding and stowing food away for later, which makes me think of how Rayla is pretty consistently carrying secrets / stashing the coins away in Stella's portal

Ezran to me is a Strawberry Poison-Dart Frog.

I chose this one cause I feel like an amphibian of some sort would best reflect Ezran, given his associations of being torn more explicitly between two worlds and two things. On the one hand, he's a child and should be treated/respected as such, and on the other hand, he's also a king and should be treated/respected as such. So amphibians having water and land, the way that Ezran does well both in times of conflict and times of peace (the latter being something Rayla really struggles with in particular) is well reflected. Also Bait, obviously

I went with orange > red even though Ezran wears the latter, cause orange feels warmer than the danger! zone red puts in, as well as mixing well with Ezran's brown hair. The touch of blue is for his eyes and his connection to Zym, and a tropical lil guy who likes sunshiney weather. Frogs are also pretty slippery and fast and Ezran (esp pre-series) is pretty wily and mischievous, getting into nooks and crannies he shouldn't be and then getting out of hot spots later on in show, so that matched up in my head

Other notes:

Viren always makes me think of serpents, and Claudia and Aaravos always make me think of spiders, so I'll toss those two in as well (although I feel they're more self explanatory symbolism wise / more offered within the text itself).

[cinamun]

Hey Boo heyyyy,

You know I'm in love with TFA (swoon). So, my question is who in your life or someone who's close to you their life did the inspiration of the Drake family evolve?

Heyyyyyyyyyyyy BOO!!!!!

I mean, I wont say who specifically... I mean I might... so basically...

So at first, I made Indya as the complete opposite of myself in terms of traits because we gotta do that sometimes!! What would it be like to play in a way that might make you cringe? It was fun and a form of escapism (why so many of us play, amirite). It was also a challenge after playing out another very wholesome family.

ANYWAY

I would absolutely say that, throughout this saga, there have been themes and personalities and situations that were inspired by either mine or the experiences of people I grew up with or around or loved.

I wrote all that and then decided I won't say who, specifically. I think the reason is its personal but also, what I love is that people who read this feel a familiar connection to either a persona I've written or a situation I've put a character in. I love when I can relate to something and others do too!

So.... are there real life inspos woven throughout this story? Even the OCs? Absolutely. Will I say who and what and when? No because I ain't no snitch.

ALSO

There is a little bit of me sprinkled in everything I write, even that wild ride of a Globetrotter Challenge. Its fun!

[cosmiclion]

Familiar AU angst hours: I know I said that hunger makes demons weak and vulnerable, but what if it makes them revert back to a mindless state? The longer they go without consuming a soul the closer they are to becoming the feral monsters that they so look down on.

And ever since he became Ciel’s guardian Sebastian hasn’t made a contract with anyone, what with all the time consuming work that comes with caring for a young child. Of course, since demons are immortal they can go years without really starving, but the thing is Sebas had already been a bit hungry when he first found the child. Sure the prospect of raising a little human and gaining his trust so that he’d later decide to make a contract with him sounded fun, but years go by and the Phantomhive boy still doesn’t mention it.

Conflicted, strange feelings start swirling around inside Sebas. While he does care for the kid and even feels protective of him (in his own demon way), he has never stopped viewing him as a potential meal. But if the kid never offers him his soul, does that mean he should just leave? If Ciel grows up and doesn’t need help and guidance anymore, why stay? Saving him and keeping him alive was just an experiment, right? Right?

To make matters worse, he starts to worry when he finds himself often fantasizing about the flavor that the past trauma has added to the young soul. He’s always been a patient calm demon, so what’s going on? Demons can also smell souls, and Ciel’s is mouth watering, oh how he’d love to open up his jaws like a giant wolf and swallow him whole.

Oh no.

He’s losing his mind. He hasn’t even gone looking for souls of dying people all this time, as that goes against his aesthetic. And of course the idiot bastard hasn’t talked to anyone about this. Which is why he doesn’t know Ciel has been studying demonology behind his back, knows everything about demons and contracts and actually plans to make a contract, but what he wants is for Sebas to be his familiar, which means he’ll be bound to him until he dies of old age (the little shit does view him as a parental figure but also wouldn’t mind having a demon by his side to help him gain power and smite his enemies, boys amirite?).

I haven’t fully decided how the story goes from here, but maybe it gets to a point where hunger overcomes Sebas for a while and Ciel has no choice but to confront him and forcefully bind him with the knowledge he has acquired, maybe also with Agni’s help (they have met Soma and Agni by now, more or less at the same point in time as in canon). After Sebas has calmed down, Ciel makes a promise: if he stays with him all his life and becomes his sword and shield, he can have his soul in the end, effectively making him a familiar demon; and in the meantime he can take the souls of any enemies they may kill whenever he gets hungry.

Tl; dr: Scrawny Victorian orphan catches demon like a pokémon.

[ooops-i-arted]

idk if this is an unwelcome rant or anything but I saw your anti ahs0ka posts from july and I’m just….so frustrated. I don’t want to sound like a dudebro but as someone whose favorite SW character is Luke I just can’t stand Star Wars anymore. I personally didn’t like him in tlj, but I could accept it—but then they just sort of kept chipping at him through every new piece of media. He’s strange in mando/tbobf, no one will join his temple despite apparently all of these older force sensitives surviving rotj, even obi-wan is retconned to know leia more. now this shit w this show, where #she is the self-insert in thrawn stuff. also you don’t even have to be FS anymore, etc etc. the “important Jedi lineage” is now obi-wan-anakin-ahs0ka, bc who even cares about luke amirite. it just sucks because I did genuinely used to like her, but with every new thing it could not be more clear that narratively she should have died bc now the whole gffa’s story is hers

I'd love to say I'm above petty rant but I am SO not, your rant is most welcome. If you don't have anything nice to say about Ahsoka, come sit by me. 😉 (Honestly I'm just happy to see other people acknowledging what a poorly written character she is when I've been saying this since the Rebels season 2 finale. I definitely felt like the only one back then.)

More seriously.... yeah, I do get the feeling of everything you loved about Star Wars being chipped away. I hope those who do enjoy it have fun and all, I don't begrudge anyone that, but I can't lie, I do kinda feel the same way. Like it's all being rewritten Filoni-style. And George Lucas he is not, no matter how much he thinks he is. Also I don't presume to know Timothy Zahn's feelings but I still think it's shitty and disrespectful as hell to carve a big hole out of the wonderful, iconic Thrawn trilogy and plop Ahsoka in. It's becoming REAL obvious that Filoni isn't the creative genius he's hailed as, he strip mines Legends for ideas and then gets the credit.

At this point I almost rather they leave Luke alone. Han is my BOY and they already did him so dirty (left Leia, returned to smuggling invalidating all his character development in the OT, gets a crappy death from his shitty incel son - I did like Solo but it was too little to late) so I 100% get your feelings there. It's like Disney doesn't even care how important these characters are so many people in their rush to replace them with their new, safely copyrighted and controlled characters. And ofc Filoni props his TCW OCs over all. Just look at how Mando S3 had Din and Grogu's story trashed so Girlboss Barbie Bo could feature instead. I'm not sure why they're so resistant to paying writers, they clearly need some new ones.

[spicykaraage]

I Want to Be Santa Claus - Story Translation

[Prologue]

Ryoga: (Alright, now that practice is over, I can go see Chibisuke.)

—

Ryoma: Practice ended pretty early today, didn’t it? It’s not even noon yet.

Kikumaru: Well, it’s Christmas Eve. And we’re gonna have a party tonight, it’ll be fun~

Ryoga: Happy birthday, Chibisuke!

Ryoma: Big Bro. So you remembered my birthday.

Ryoga: Of course I did. You really thought your dear older brother would forget?

Kikumaru: I’ve said it before, but I think it’s so cool that your birthday’s on Christmas Eve.

Ryoma: Well, thanks for remembering. See ya.

Ryoga: Not so fast. Since it’s Christmas, let’s go pay a visit to the Christmas market.

Ryoma: A Christmas market? In Japan?

Kikumaru: I saw the commercial on TV too. Apparently it’s being held at this big park and they have stalls with Christmas food and other goodies.

Ryoga: That’s the one. The perfect way to spend Christmas, amirite?

Ryoma: Hmm. Well, I don’t have any plans after this, so I guess I can come along.

Ryoga: Great, done and done.

Ryoma: But how we do we get there from here? It’s at some big park, so it’s probably pretty far, right?

Mizuki: We’ll be able to take the train there.

Kikumaru: Mizuki. So you’re interested in the Christmas market too?

Mizuki: I am. It looks like an interesting event, so I’m planning on going with Yuuta after this.

Yuuta: They’re selling limited edition Christmas sweets and fresh roasted chicken and all this other good stuff.

Kikumaru: But what’s so special about chicken during Christmas?

Yuuta: Oh, yeah… it is just regular old chicken, I’ve never really thought about it before.

Tohno: Hey, that’s actually a pretty good point.

Kikumaru: Wha…

Tohno: People trying to make everything all festive and Christmas-y while not knowing its original meaning.

Mizuki: If you’re talking about the chicken, I already know the answer to it.

Mizuki: Since I’ll be hosting tonight’s party, I’d be able to explain it to you all, if you’d like?

Tohno: Just being a know-it-all is a bore. Why don’t you come up with something entertaining yourself?

Mizuki: Wha… excuse me?

Ryoga: Hey, now. Why are you getting so heated over Christmas?

Tohno: I just hate how half-assed it is. If you wanna liven things up and have fun, then you gotta be thorough about it.

Yuuta: Yeah… you do got a point.

Kikumaru: Yeah. It would be cool to look more into the meaning of it and enjoy it in your own way.

Kikumaru: If we went to the Christmas market, we could see and learn all kinds of things. I think I’ll invite everyone else from Seigaku too.

Ryoma: Huh, so now more people are gonna come?

Ryoga: The more the merrier, right? Well, let’s all get going.

[Episode 1]

Ryoga: This Japanese Christmas market’s a lot bigger than I was expecting.

Ryoma: There’s so many stalls. Plus the decorations are incredible, it actually looks pretty nice.

Ryoga: Right. Plus I heard the whole market is lit up at night.

Oishi: There’s some kind of outdoor stage over there too, what do they have planned with it?

Yuuta: They’re gonna be holding a Christmas concert. You can read about it on this flyer.

Mizuki: Well, well… it appears they’ll have a gospel choir and brass band performing. Maybe I’ll check it out later on.

Kikumaru: Huh? Where did Fuji and Taka-san go, they were just with us.

Oishi: The two of them decided to visit this big advent calendar on display.

Kikumaru: Advent…?

Ryoga: It’s just a calendar to countdown to Christmas.

Ryoma: It’s basically a wooden house with little drawers in it that are marked with the days until Christmas…

Ryoma: And each day you open a drawer there’s candy or other stuff inside.

Kikumaru: I see. Sounds cool.

Ryoga: They have a massive one on display, and they also have smaller ones over at this stall.

Mizuki: Ah, so this is what you’re referring to. It says it’s a sample product, but you’re still allowed to open the drawers.

Yuuta: Hm. Wonder what’s in them.

Mizuki: Well let’s open one and see, shall we.

Mizuki: So this one… has a candy inside.

Yuuta: A calendar with a different candy each day would be cool.

Mizuki: Not everything inside has to be candy, you know?

Mizuki: But regardless, it would be fun to count down the days to Christmas with one.

Ryoma: I wanna see what’s in the drawers in that big one on display.

Yuuta: Right. Maybe they’ll have these giant candies.

Ryoga: You wanna go check it out, too?

Kikumaru: Oh, well there’s some other stalls I wanna check out, so I’ll catch up with you guys later.

Oishi: I’ll go with you.

Ryoga: Gotcha. Welp, see ya.

—

Oishi: What did you want to see?

Kikumaru: Tree ornaments. There’s a tree at the camp that hasn’t been decorated yet.

Kikumaru: I talked with the staff and they said I could decorate it if I bought the ornaments.

Oishi: Oh, yeah? There’s a stall right around here that’s selling all kinds of them.

Kikumaru: Oh, so there is. Here’s some ball ornaments, and some holly ornaments.

Kikumaru: But they’re all pretty basic, aren’t they? It’s gonna be hard trying to pick out ones I actually like~

???: See, I knew you guys weren’t putting any thought into it!

Oishi: Wha…

[Episode 2]

Tohno: See, I knew you guys weren’t putting any thought into it!

Oishi: Wha…

Omagari: Sheesh. You yelled so loud I thought something happened, but you were just calling out to those middle schoolers.

Tohno: Well I couldn’t just stay quiet and let those halfwits half-ass what they’re doing.

Tohno: If you’re gonna celebrate Christmas, then it’s only right that you celebrate it thoroughly and with its original meaning in mind.

Kikumaru: I’m trying, but… do the decorations have any meaning?

Tohno: Holly was used to ward off evil, and ornaments represent an abundant harvest.

Tohno: There’s always meaning and customs in the things you prepare for this. If you don’t follow those customs, then you can’t call them Christmas decorations.

Kikumaru: So, I guess that means we should stick with the status quo. But I was wanting unique decorations…

Oishi: Well, yeah… but maybe you could make the basic decorations look unique by using different colors?

Kikumaru: Different colors…

Tohno: Hey, now that’s a good idea!

Oishi: Oh… thank you very much.

Tohno: But you have to be smart when using different colors too. It’s become a whole lot harder now, hasn’t it~?

Tohno: But you’re the one who raised the bar on yourself, so that’s on youuuuuu!

Kikumaru: Nice going Oishi, you’ve raised the bar…

Oishi: No, I was just making a suggestion…

Tanegashima: Hey-o. I’ve got meat pies.

Tanegashima: Oh, there’s middle schoolers here too. Looks like everyone’s gettin’ merry on Christmas Eve~☆

Omagari: Was the stall crowded?

Tanegashima: It isn’t now. That tree over there’s starting to light up, so it looks like people are flocking in that direction.

Omagari: That one there? It does glow beautifully, even during the daytime.

Tohno: There’s a toy soldier hanging from the tree. They’ve got pretty good taste, don’t they?

Tanegashima: I’m pretty sure that’s just a basic decoration, but you really like it?

Tohno: I think it’d be great inspo for an Execution! I’m gonna take a closer look!

Omagari: Man, doesn’t matter what he sees, he’s always thinking of executions. That figures.

Tanegashima: Atsu’s very committed, especially when it comes to his Executions. He’s always got his antenna up.

Oishi: True… that must be why he said Christmas should be celebrated thoroughly.

Tanegashima: Yeah, maybe so. Or he’s just the type of guy who wants people to put in the effort with what they’re doing.

Kikumaru: Yeah, true…

Kikumaru: Well, let’s put in all the effort we can then. We’ll pick out decorations with creative colors.

Oishi: Yeah. Let’s do it.

[Episode 3]

Yuuta: These chocolate strawberries are so good!

Mizuki: And they said these chocolate-covered apple desserts are exclusive to this market.

Mizuki: There’s many families visiting here as well. This certainly does seem to be an event that can be enjoyed by people of all ages.

Yuuta: Yeah. It is Christmas after all, I even saw some kids buying gifts.

Mizuki: That’s right, there will be a gift exchange at tonight’s party, have you gotten anything yet?

Yuuta: I haven’t yet. I’ve been checking out all the stalls, but I don’t know what to buy.

Mizuki: Why don’t you try getting something you would be happy to receive?

Yuuta: Mmm… for me, that’d be sweets. Maybe we can check them out?

Mizuki: Of course. There’s a sweets stall right around the corner, let’s go check it out.

—

Ryoma: They’re doing another street performance over there. Juggling this time.

Ryoga: Wow. I still think the clown walking on stilts was pretty cool, though.

Ryoma: Hm…? They’re selling socks over here. They look a little big, though.

Ryoga: A little. But with your size Chibisuke, you could fit your whole body into one, huh?

Ryoma: Don’t treat me like a kid.

Ryoga: Kakaka. I’m just kidding.

Ryoga: But stockings do take me back.

Ryoma: What do you mean?

Ryoga: Back in the US, we’d put letters in our stockings asking Santa for gifts.

Ryoga: I thought we could spend Christmas together like we did back then. It’s been so long, though.

Ryoma: What’s wrong. You’re getting all deep all of a sudden.

Ryoga: Mm. Yeah, maybe?

Ryoga: If there’s anything you want, just let me know by the end of tonight.

Ryoga: I’ll let Santa know too.

Ryoma: Are you treating me like a kid again?

Ryoga: Hey, now. Santa only visits good kiddos, remember?

Ryoga: C’mon, let’s go check out the other stalls.

Ryoma: Hey, don’t pull me…

Ryoma: Jeez, you’re a handful, Big Bro.

[Episode 4]

Kintarou: Hey, hey! Why don’t they sell any takoyaki~?

Chitose: Kin-chan, this is a Christmas market, they’re not gonna have takoyaki everywhere like Osaka.

Ishida: But the octopus is red and the seaweed’s green. They could sell it as Christmas colors.

Chitose: Well, that is one way to look at it. Maybe they do sell it somewhere.

Chitose: Let’s browse the stalls while we look for some takoyaki, okay?

—

Kai: Hey, Rin. That scarf looks so thick and fluffy and warm.

Kai: …Huh, he’s gone?

Chinen: He left to go get something to drink.

Chinen: …Wait, Kei-kun’s not here either.

Kite: He went to the stalls over there to purchase some hot food.

Kai: Everyone’s all over the place.

Kite: They can do whatever they want to do.

Kai: Whoa, they have a plush toy shaped like a tree. How cool.

Chinen: They’ve got all kinds of Christmas costumes too. I’m gonna look for a black Santa suit in the sale cart.

Kai: Black Santa suit?

Chinen: Fufu… I wanna be a black Santa that’ll scare all the naughty little children.

Kintarou: Huhhh! Mister, you’re gonna be Santa?

Ishida: A black Santa costume, that’d be a cool way to change things up.

Chitose: There is a party tonight, maybe I should look for something too.

Kite: Oh, so you’re all here too.

Kintarou: If you’re gonna be Santa, then please give me a present.

Chinen: Yes, right… if you’re a good little boy, then I’ll give you a present. But if you’re a naughty little boy, then I might take you away somewhere.

Kintarou: I’m a good boy!

Ishida: That’s right, Kintarou-han’s been working real hard in tennis.

Chinen: Yes, yes, I see. Alright, then I’ll give you one of the cookies I just bought.

Kintarou: Yay! I got a present!

Kite: You certainly are kind for a black Santa.

Chinen: That’s because he wasn’t a naughty child. I’m saving the scares for the naughty children… fufu…

Kai: Well I’ve been a good boy too, so does that mean I get a present?

Kite: And just what makes you believe that? Once you’ve made up for all the times you were tardy, then you can talk.

Tanishi: Hey, guys! There’s these huge sausage kebabs over here!

Kai: Whoaa, those look so good. I’m gonna go buy one too.

Kintarou: Sounds great. I’ll go have one too!

Kite: So carefree… the lot of you.

Chitose: But it’s Christmas, so it’s good to have fun. These happy vibes are actually pretty nice.

[Episode 5]

Ryoga: Here, Chibisuke. I bought you some hot chocolate, so this should warm you up a little.

Ryoma: Thank you. Looks good.

Ryoma: Whew… whew…

Ryoga: Too hot?

Ryoma: I just don’t wanna burn my tongue.

Ryoga: Oh snap, that is really hot. I’ll let mine cool off too.

—

Ryoga: By the way, have you seen anything you liked at the stalls?

Ryoma: Nope… Why?

Ryoga: I already told you. I’m gonna tell Santa what you want.

Ryoma: This joke again. You’ve been teasing me all day.

Ryoga: (He thinks it’s a joke? Man, this kid…)

Krauser: Ryoma, Merry Christmas!

Ryoma: Merry Christmas. So you came with them, Krauser.

Yagyuu: He saw the ad of this place on TV and invited me.

Niou: I came along since there’s stuff I wanted to buy, but this place is actually pretty nice.

Krauser: So you came with your brother, Ryoma. I’m jealous that you’re able to spend Christmas with your family.

Ryoma: Really? We just happened to be around each other today.

Ryoga: Oh, c’mon, quit lying. You know you chose to stick with me.

Niou: How about you try some of this magic gum? Eat this, and it’ll make you honest in no time.

Krauser: I tried it earlier and it made me very honest. I highly recommend it!

Yagyuu: Uh no, it’s snapping gum…

Krauser: Yagyuu-san, you ruined the prank.

Ryoma: Yeah, I’m gonna pass on that then.

Niou: Aw man, you’re no fun.

Ryoma: Heh… you’ve got a ways to go.

Ryoga: (…Chibisuke’s looking like he’s having fun.)

Yagyuu: By the way, there’s a Christmas concert being held soon, will you be going?

Ryoma: It’s an outdoor stage. It’ll probably be too cold to just sit still and listen to the performance.

Niou: I wouldn’t worry too much about that. Apparently there’s heaters placed at the foot of the seats.

Ryoma: Huh, it shouldn’t be too bad then… Okay, let’s go.

Ryoma: Hey, get a move on, Big Bro.

Ryoga: Hey, hey, don’t just leave me behind.

Ryoga: (I was hoping I could find out what gift he wants.)

Ryoga: …Being Santa isn’t easy.

[Episode 6]

Ryoma: They had so many singers, they were all extraordinary.

Ryoga: That choir was legit, wasn’t it. They performed the usual Christmas songs but their take on them was pretty refreshing.

Krauser: I was surprised to see a koto being played with the brass band! It was very Japanese!

Yuuta: Whoa… the wind’s strong…

Mizuki: Now that we’re away from the heaters, it’s going to feel extra cold.

Tohno: Huh? How pathetic, you’re shivering so much over this?

Ryoma: So you watched the concert too, senpai.

Tohno: Their performance wasn’t that bad to listen to.

Mizuki: It was a very nice concert. The music was superb, but the host’s presentation was excellent as well.

Krauser: He also shared a lot of knowledge about Christmas. It was very interesting.

Mizuki: I learned methods on livening things up with conversational skills and when to take breaks for tonight’s party, it was very informative as well.

Ryoma: Oh that’s right, you are hosting tonight’s party, huh.

Mizuki: Yes, I even prepared a script as the host that I’ve been working on as we speak, I intend to hold a fun party.

Tohno: That sounds great!! I’m looking forward to it, okay?

Mizuki: Oh…

Tohno: Well you said it yourself, you’re putting in the effort as a host, so everyone at the camp should at least get excited over that.

Tohno: But if you end up letting us down, it’s not gonna be pretty.

Mizuki: …Yes, of course, I understand.

Yuuta: Mizuki-san… I’m rooting for you!

Mizuki: Worry not, I will ensure that it will be a fun party.

Mizuki: …It will, it absolutely will.

Ryoga: Not getting a lil’ nervous, are you?

Mizuki: As if I would. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must finish the preparations for tonight.

Yuuta: Oh, I’ll head back with you. I think I’ve seen enough of the market.

Tohno: I should head back and do one last checkup on some things.

Krauser: What will you two do now?

Ryoma: Why don’t we head back too, Big Bro? It’s getting really cold again.

Ryoga: Yeah… I’ve still got things I wanna do. You can go on ahead without me.

Ryoma: Oh…

Ryoga: Alrighty… time to start working as Santa.

[Episode 7]

Clerk: Thank you very much.

Ryoga: …Okay, got it.

Ryoga: (Chibisuke said he didn’t want anything… but when we were together, he kept staring at this.)

Mouri: Oh, hey.

Kabaji: Good evening.

Ryoga: Oh, it’s kinda weird seeing you all together.

Ochi: We just happened to run into each other at the moment.

Mouri: Did you come to buy Christmas presents?

Ryoga: I actually plan on becoming Santa. Don’t tell anyone else what I bought, please.

Atobe: I see, so it’s a secret gift.

Ryoga: Well, yeah. You guys buying gifts for other people too?

Ochi: Mouri gave me a gift this morning, so I came here to return the favor.

Mouri: It was just a lil’ something to express my gratitude, I didn’t mean to make you feel obligated.

Atobe: I’m getting gifts for all of my club members at the camp.

Atobe: Right, Kabaji, show me the list of what everyone wants.

Kabaji: Right.

Ryoga: That’s nice, so they told you directly what they wanted.

Ryoga: I couldn’t get a straight answer, so I had to pick one I thought they’d like.

Ochi: But if you chose it yourself then that means you put thought into it, right.

Mouri: Yeah, plus I think it’d be a nice surprise.

Ryoga: But if they end up not liking it, I’m gonna be really upset.

Kabaji: When it comes to gifts, I believe people are more happy that you got them something rather than what you got them…

Atobe: Heh, that’s a good point.

Ryoga: Yeah, I get that… I hope that’ll be the case for this.

Kabaji: Why not write a letter and include it with your gift?

Mouri: There you go. A letter would be a great way to express your feelings directly.

Ryoga: That would be a whole lot better than just giving them a present. I’ll give it a try.

Ryoga: I wonder if they sell any stationery around here…

Ryoga: …Oh, I found some good ones.

[Episode 8]

Ryoma: Man, where did Big Bro run off to…

???: Ho-ho-hooo!

Ryoma: …

Ryoma: …Was that your Santa impersonation?

Ryoga: Yep, pretty much.

Ryoga: I told you you could go on ahead without me, but it looks like you stayed just to look for me.

Ryoma: Yeah, ‘cause you just disappeared and I thought something was wrong.

Ryoga: Everything’s fine, I told you there was some things I wanted to do, didn’t I?

Ryoga: But I’m sorry if I made you feel lonely.

Ryoma: I didn’t feel lonely…

Ryoga: I bet. ‘Specially since you got all these nice friends around you, huh.

Ryoga: I was really glad to see you smiling and having a good time with them earlier today.

Ryoma: Why would you be happy to see me smiling?

Ryoga: Because you’re my little brother, of course I’d be happy to see you happy.

Ryoga: I also figured you’d be fine with me being gone since they’re here, too.

Ryoma: Well, I guess being with them is pretty nice.

Ryoma: But you’re alright to hang out with too, Big Bro…

Ryoma: It feels a little better to have you around than not… Just a little, though.

Ryoga: Aw, what a cute thing to say.

Ryoma: Yeah, never mind. I can’t with your jokes.

Ryoga: I’m being serious here. You little fart~

Ryoma: Can you stop… Quit messing up my hair…

Kikumaru: Oh, there he is. Shorty!

Fuji: You’ll be late to the Christmas party if you don’t head back soon, you know?

Ryoga: Ah, it’s about time now, huh.

Ryoma: …Achoo.

Fuji: Fufu, it’s gotten pretty cold too.

Kikumaru: They were giving away these hand warmers for free. I have some more, so you can use them.

Ryoma: Thanks.

Fuji: Take one too, senpai.

Ryoga: Oh, thank you.

Fuji: …Huh, it’s snowing.

Kikumaru: Huhhh. The forecast didn’t mention it was gonna snow.

Ryoga: But seeing all these lights with the snow sure is beautiful. It’s cold, but maybe it’s lucky that we got to see this.

Ryoma: …Yeah. I’m glad we didn’t leave yet.

[Episode 9]

Mizuki: Now, let the party commence. Everyone, please raise your glasses of juice.

All: Merry Christmas! …And happy birthday!!

Ryoma: Wha… how’d you all know it’s my birthday?

Kikumaru: Senpai had spread the word about it. We may as well celebrate them together, anyway.

Ryoga: The more people celebrate, the better, right?

Ryoma: Can’t you just mind your own business… well, it’s fine.

—

Mizuki: —All right, we will now begin the gift exchange.

Mizuki: Exchanging gifts during Christmas time is said to be a custom born out of feelings of mutual consideration for each other.

Mizuki: So let us celebrate this Christmas gracefully, and share our compassion with others.

Tohno: SURPRISE!!!

Oishi: Senpai…?

Mizuki: …Oh, what is it?

Tohno: I’ll take it from here. Not that you’re a bad host or anything, you seem to know what Christmas is all about and have done a good job livening things up.

Mizuki: Nhm. Why, I’m honored.

Tohno: But I wanna spice things up a bit. I’m gonna turn this little gift exchange into an official competition!

Mizuki: What… a competition…?

Tohno: Everyone will draw numbers and choose their gifts in numerical order. The catch is that the even numbers can swap their gift with another person.

Kikumaru: That’s different, but it sounds interesting.

Mizuki: But, weren’t you the one who had said that it’s important to hold these events while upholding its original meaning? Does this not contradict that statement?

Tohno: This kind of competition is popular in Europe and the US. Besides, it’s still a gift exchange.

Tohno: Look here, these are the numbers you’ll draw that’ll decide which order you’ll pick the presents.

Tohno: And these extra slips are a little gift from me…

Tohno: They’re “Execution Test Subject Tickets”. This is a perfect time to use them!

Oishi: E-Execution test subject…!?

Tohno: I’ve hidden some of these tickets in the presents. Whoever ends up with one will get executed.

Tohno: It’s one of the best surprises you’ll ever receive. Hyaahyaahyaa!!

Mizuki: E-Excuse me!?

Kikumaru: That’s not good… if we choose a gift that has one of those tickets in it, we’ll get executed!

Ryoga: Haha, how fun!

Oishi: Huh…?

Ryoga: It’s a big surprise, but you may as well have fun with it, right?

Ryoma: I won’t care if I end up with one of those execution tickets. I’ll just get my revenge on him.

Kikumaru: Oh, really? You guys really are brothers~

Mizuki: You certainly are brave. Very well, as the host, I will brace myself and join the fun.

Mizuki: Now… let the gift competition commence!

[Episode 10]

Mizuki: Everyone, this concludes tonight’s entertainment. Please continue to enjoy your meals and merriment to your heart’s content.

—

Tohno: Keh, the surprise I worked so hard on got ruined…

Mizuki: So it did, all of the upperclassmen ended up with your execution tickets…

Mizuki: But today is the Holy Night of mercy, so why not spend the rest of Christmas Eve peacefully?

Tohno: Hmph… well, I guess I can just give ‘em all a good beating later.

Oni: Hey, that apple pie you like so much is about to run out.

Tohno: Huhh? Please, I’m gonna get some regardless.

Mizuki: *sigh*… I am utterly exhausted…

Kikumaru: Nice job. Big surprise aside, you made it a lot of fun, Mizuki.

Mizuki: It’s only natural that my skills would produce a fun party.

Kikumaru: Nyahaha. Of course, Mizuki.

Kikumaru: Oh, yeah. I’m gonna check out the gift I got.

Kikumaru: I’m happy to see all this candy in here. But what do you even call this thing…?

Oishi: It’s a Christmas Boot.

Kikumaru: Oh, yeah, that’s a fitting name.

Oishi: Wow, there’s a snowman cookie in there too.

Kikumaru: You want some? Okay, I’ll share it with you, Oishi~

—

Ryoga: Looks like Christmas Eve’s almost over. Feels like the whole day just flew by.

Ryoma: It does. With going to the Christmas market and this party…

Ryoma: Oh yeah, I know I’m a day late for this. But happy birthday, Big Bro.

Ryoga: Oh wow, the birthday boy just congratulated me. Thank you.

Ryoma: Also, thanks for inviting me to the Christmas market today. It was actually kinda fun.

Ryoga: That’s good. I’m glad.

—

Ryoga: (Okay… is Chibisuke fast asleep?)

Ryoga: (Good… sleeping soundly. I’ll leave his present here, then.)

Ryoma: Mm…

Ryoga: (Crap, is he waking up?)

Ryoma: Big Bro… let’s go to this stall next…

Ryoga: (What the, he’s talking in his sleep. Must be dreaming about today.)

Ryoga: Merry Christmas… and happy birthday, too.

The following morning—

Ryoma: A present and Christmas card…? Is this…

Card: “Santa brought you a present, Chibisuke! I hope you like it.”

Card: “I’m glad I got to spend Christmas Eve with you again.”

Ryoma: Heh… typical, Big Bro.

[Epilogue]

The day after Christmas—

Mizuki: We’ll store these decorations away in this box. Please do not mix any of them up.

Kikumaru: Huhh, I won’t be able to tell the difference. You’re gonna have to label them with magic marker or something~

Mizuki: Just pay attention to the size of the decorations inside, please. We’re sorting them by size.

Tohno: Hey, I already took care of the decorations over there.

Kikumaru: Thank you very much, senpai.

Tohno: I’m not gonna rest until all this stuff’s been taken care of.

Kikumaru: Wow, so thorough.

Kikumaru: And that surprise on Christmas Eve really had us on the edge of our seats, even though it was kinda scary.

Mizuki: Yes, it was. Although it was unexpected, it did make things a lot of fun thanks to you.

Tohno: Kuukuku! Is that so?

Tohno: Maybe I should keep it up and try doing something interesting for New Year’s too, eh?

Tohno: Like maybe we could use actual bodies as the hagoita, and ring in the New Year with screams around the camp, and instead of a happy face in fukuwarai we could do one of anguish…

Mizuki: It’s still too early to be thinking of New Year’s… let’s prioritize cleaning up after Christmas for right now.

—

Ryoma: Hah…!

Ryoga: Yo, Chibisuke. You’ve been really going at it with that wall since this morning.

Ryoga: So you’re already out of the Christmas spirit?

Ryoma: Yep. I wanna become even stronger.

Ryoga: It’s always about aiming for the top with you.

Ryoga: That competitive streak hasn’t changed since you were a kid.

Ryoma: Well yeah, I’m not gonna lose to anybody… including you, Big Bro.

Ryoga: Oh-ho, is that right.

Ryoma: How about I show you just how strong I’ve become. Let’s have a serious match today.

Ryoga: …Whoa there. I hate to break it to you, but I’m gonna hold off on that for now.

Ryoga: But if it’s just some simple smackin’ the ball, we can do that all you want.

Ryoma: Tch… whatever.

Ryoma: Alright, let’s take it from here.

Ryoga: Heh… you got it.

[STORY END]

[stop-breaking-my-heart-dragonage]

listen I love DAO, DA2, and DAI very much and will replay all three on repeat but DAO really spoiled me with the whole "origins" part, something DA2 and DAI severely lack.

In DAO, you get to play through one of six origins that show how you got recruited to the Grey Wardens and affects how you play. I play as a Tabris and that plays a part in every decision she makes from how she views the Grey Wardens as a whole, who she romances, what she does with Loghain at the landsmeet, etc. It's incredible because that origin you get adds so much to the immersion each playthrough.

But then there's DA2 which I do adore with all my heart, but I can't lie, the first time I played it was very much "Oh, I have to be this human named Hawke? and the only differences in backstory really come from whether I'm a mage or not ...Ugh, okay, but only because you showed me Carver and now I'm attached, I'll keep playing, I'm sure nothing bad will happen to him."

And then DAI, which I also adore, comes along and just, "Okay pick who you wanna be. Great, here's a paragraph detailing your backstory, but you get to start in the same spot no matter who you make your Inquisitor to be, have fun."

It's not like it's a deal breaker that we can't play through an origin first before jumping into the main story. The player can take that element into their hands to make up for it. We see it all the time with players sharing the upbringings and family dynamics for their Hawke, or fully fleshing out their Inquisitor and why they were at the conclave in the first place.

I think DA2 does this a little better since at least it feels like Hawke had a life before Kirkwall. Your mother and survivng sibling are reminders of that life, as are every mention of your dead sibling and father. You're always reminded that you're a Fereldan refugee. You lost everything to the blight and now you have to rebuild yourself up in a new city.

But the Inquisitor? A lot of times it feels like the Inquisitor didn't even exist until they fell out of the sky. Sure, Cassandra can ask you where you're from or Josephine will ask you questions about your life prior, but that's about it. it's so unfortunate because DAI was the perfect set up for a origin stories the same way DAO was; what lead the Inquisitor to be at the conclave? What specifically put them there?

The first time I played DAI, I didn't put much thought into my Inquisitor. It took me playing through DAO and DA2 and starting a replay of DAI to actually figure out my Inquisitor and you know what I ended up doing?

I used a DAO origin.

Yeah, we know that all the wardens exist and the player picking their character decides where Duncan will be to recruit them and the others are just shit outta luck. I decided my Lavellan's actually Surana who escaped the circle with Jowan and she eventually joined the Dalish and adopted a new name after he died. Lemme tell you, roleplaying that as my Inquisitor's backstory makes everything in DAI just 10x better.

Every staff Ash crafts is named after Jowan. She wasn't born Dalish but her cover story says she was, and she slips up a lot. Her accent doesn't sound typically Dalish. Threnn tells her "Loghain was super cool actually" and Ash flashes back to when Jowan was taken by Loghain's men and when she tracked him down to Redcliffe only to find out Loghain planted him there to poison the arl, he was caught and tortured by the arl's wife, she begged a pair of wardens to let him go if they found him.

Ash is very against blood magic after it eventually killed Jowan and she isn't shy about expressing it. So you know Varric pulled my Hawke, a blood mage, aside like, "Listen, keep the blood magic stuff to yourself, the Inquisitor has a thing about it." and Edgar just gives a thumbs up and keeps going, "man, blood magic bad, amirite?"

Every conversation Ash has with Solas and Vivienne is just her biting her tongue and forcing out, "...yeah, okay." She knows the Chantry and Circles are bullshit but can't go off about it because hmmm, you know an awful lot about this for being Dalish?

Ash and Cullen see each other again after ten years and both just, "Hmm... you look famil...liar.......... oh no."

But that's my point: If I'm going to replay DAI, I boot up DAO first. I play through the mage origin as Ash, and as soon as Jowan runs off screen, I quit out of the game to boot up DAI with a little "Ten Years Later" mumble to myself, and it's so much better.

Honestly if I could find a way to incorporate an unused origin into my Hawke's backstory, I probably would! Because DAO knew what it was doing and it's super effective. I can't gush about DAO enough, I swear.

I can only cross my fingers that DA4 y'know, goes back to it's origins.

[caninerants]

Honestly, Ive been meaning to write something about Helluva Boss for a while and uh. I'm in that Writing Mood. So here, have some quick rambles about my thought on HB and worldbuilding and stuff

They'll be under the cut just in case I write too much lol

The way HB fails [hard] with being what it wants to be

First things first: I am not a professional writer at all. I'm just some dog who can write for fun.

Ok. That's out of the way, cool!

So... Helluva Boss, amirite? I think the frustration a lot of detractors/critics have over it (and frankly, I'm amongst these) is how much *potential* it has. It exudes it, and like, if you read 5 different HB rewrites, they will all grab different stuff and run with it, because there's many, many things to tinker with that, in the hands of a well planning writer, could make the series just. Brilliant!

But, let's be real, the series doesn't do that. I'm not original in saying this but, from a plot perspective, HB sucks. It falls flatter than a metal sheet (is that a phrase?) And, hypocritically, it's obvious how Viv prides herself as writing it as revolutionary in ways that the story doesn't even (and forgive me for this) have the balls to be in.

It prides itself in having raw portrayals of queer folks, yet it only lets itself write the same overused "gay ppl + sex = funni" jokes over and over again, it goes and compares it's protagonist Blitz to Bojack Horseman, yet in Helluva Boss the plot bends itself backwards to lift any sort of responsibility that Blitz has for his actions (which is, y'know, NOT what BH does, at all), prides itself of being a female centered plot even though it's obvious how underdeveloped the female characters are compared to the male ones. I could go on and on.

And, in the most sincere, nice way I can conjure, this isn't just the creator being a hypocrite, this is straight-up a symptom of what I think dooms not only this series, but most of the works Vivziepop has done: The story of the thing doesn't know what the fuck it wants to be

Helluva boss is, at least in theory, supposed to be a dark comedy about demon hitmen. Simple concept, lots of stuff to tinker and play with! A lot of ways and directions to take it to, too. But then it tries to be a musical every few episodes. And then a family drama. Sometimes it's an episodic story and sometimes it tries very hard to fit into a season-long arc, depending on the mood. It gives characters some sort of growth just to take it away, and then give them another sort of growth. It defangs and villanizes it's antagonists in a way you just can't help but feel bad for them, because it takes away what made them interesting. The protagonists fuck up and the plot let's you know they fucked up, but then... The consequences of their actions never come!

Blitzo indirectly causes permanent scarring, disability , and trauma on his childhood friend and it causes such a rift that they don't talk in fifteen years, but it's fine! Look! Fizz forgives him in the span of a day after a little chat and now they're friends again :] don't think about it at all :] this is perfectly A-OK and totally not a way of making our poor little Blitzy a victim and Fizz the cunt for not forgiving him until now :]]]

Don't get me started on Barbiewire

Helluva Boss biggest sin is not it's lack of character growth, or it's dumb sex jokes (they ARE bad btw. I'm dying on that hill), or any of that sort. There's many good shows that can pull stuff like that and still be, y'know, good. Or at least mid. It's greatest mistake it's in the way that not only doesn't know what to do with itself, but also wants to do everything without understanding why and how to do it. To bite more that you can chew, if you know.

I have way too many thoughts and criticisms around this funky web series, and I'll probably do more rambles around this specific problem. But I think this is it for me and for now

[crusherthedoctor]

For the top 5 prompt: Top 5 Eggman boss battles.

This is yet another list that probably shifts depending on the day, because there's a lot of good ones.

5.

An underrated one. Like Rush Adventure in general.

There's no deep reason, I just think it's a neat fight, and since it uses the Jeweled Scepter, that grants it a plethora of unique magical attacks that you don't often see in an Eggman battle.

4.

I couldn't decide between these two, so fuck it, they're both here. Can you blame me? They're both well-known, and for good reason.

The Egg Walker marks the end of Tails' story, and it follows up the race to the missile in the city. The battle itself is fine, if perhaps a bit easy, but Eggman's tranquil fury in the cutscene prior really sells the mood. Shame he's rarely been given opportunities to show that side of himself since then. But that's where Stellar comes in. Either way, between that and Tails standing his ground, it's a great moment for both characters.

As for the Viper, we all love the obvious meme, but like the Walker, the fight is also fun in itself, and is reasonably tricky for a final boss. But as weird as it might be to say, the ending is what really makes it for me. The way the music stops the instant you get the last hit in, the way Tikal warns you about his kamikaze dive, the way the lonely sound and visuals of the explosion lingers before culminating with what could be mistaken for a volcanic eruption... awesome.

3.

It's an awesome mech. It's an awesome battle. It's an awesome moment for both the hero and the villain. Capped off with descending towards the center of the earth. As someone who considers Unleashed flawed in ways that I can't ignore, even I can't deny that this is one of the game's standout moments, and it deserves all its praise. I'd argue it's a better final boss than the actual final boss, and I'm not just saying that because the latter is another giant monster... okay, maybe that's part of it.

Shout out to the Generations version, because I really enjoy that one in its own right.

2.

Oh boy, here comes the controversial one. How dare I put anything from Forces on a top five that isn't derogatory, amirite.

In all seriousness... look, say what you will about the fight itself. I think it's alright, but I get why it might be considered perhaps a little anti-climactic compared to what it could have been as far as gameplay goes. And you guys know that I always consider gameplay to come first and foremost, no matter how good or bad the story of the game in question is, so it's not like I'm ignoring that part. And of course, there's the Nega-Wisp Armor reskin aspect that everyone complains about, which caused Twitter to throw the baby out with the bathwater and consider Eggman's position as the final boss to be the true problem. Which is probably why the final boss of Frontiers ended up being a talking ballsack. Thanks, everyone.

Anyway, all that said, I think there are certain elements that elevate it in spite of its ultimately okay status. There's the music, but that goes without saying for a Sonic game that isn't Chronicles. But another factor is the combination of the seriously underrated sound design, with the complete and utter silence on Eggman's part, which like @skaruresonic, I interpret it as the doctor being too focused on killing your ass that he disregards his usual banter, and like the Egg Walker cutscene in SA1, I think the effect really works, regardless of the actual intent or reason behind it.

So yes, I'm putting it as #2 for these overlooked attributes. I'm not sorry.

1.

The finale of S3&K will always be particularly special to me. There have been many great Eggman throwdowns, but this one illustrates how the doctor's high octane levels of pure determination rival Sonic's own; perfect for an arch-nemesis. There have been godlike figures who go down after a single fight, meanwhile this mortal man belts out a bonanza, because the mere concept of giving up the Master Emerald does not compute.

The build-up also goes a long way: S3&K as a whole establishes and maintains this aspect of Eggman's character throughout. He's going to get the Death Egg back up and running, and nothing is going to stop him. His robots set the jungle on fire. He himself destroys the ruins in Marble Garden, in the hopes that Sonic will get killed in the process. He's not even phased when the Death Egg falls smack dab into a volcano; his dedication never wavers. Then come the endgame, where he finally fucks off with the Master Emerald after telling Knuckles it was Nothing Personnel Kid, which is followed up with a dramatic chase through the crumbling Sky Sanctuary, which then culminates in the final showdown aboard the eponymous vessel... and then continues even after it blows up.

It's iconic, it's fun, it's climactic, and Eggman's ridiculously exaggerated refusal to quit being on full display cements it as one of my favourite Eggman portrayals, despite hailing from a 2D game with no dialogue.

Honorable mentions (that currently come to mind):

Death Egg Robot, cause c'mon, it's a classic. This mostly refers to the original Sonic 2 version as well as the variations in Generations and Mania.

Egg Shrimp (Sonic Advance 2), for being petty enough to abduct Vanilla after his plan's been foiled, and for the badass moment afterwards in which Sonic narrowly saves Vanilla.

Egg Emperor, because I don't care if it's Metal Sonic, it's an Eggman mech, he's trying to mimic Eggman, shut the fuck up or I'll do a in-depth Shadow the Hedgehog level tier list. The design is rad as hell, and it has the iconic TAKE THI-TAKE THIS, TAKE THI-TAKE THIS.

Egg Salamander (Sonic Rush), for capping off the dynamic between Sonic and Blaze... and because Wrapped in Black.

Nega-Wisp Armor, because the fight is fun despite its simplicity, and it's noteworthy because Eggman finally got to be the true final boss of a 3D mainline installment for the first time. And it only took a decade...

The endgame for Mania, in which Eggman menacingly jumps around in a Pokeball and then holds his own in a three-way standoff instead of being tactlessly upstaged like he's nothing.'

The one in IDW that doesn't exist.

[thesinglesjukebox]

MIRANDA LAMBERT - "WRANGLERS"

Use promo code "JUKEBOX" at checkout to get 20% off your first pair of jeans...

[5.36]

Alfred Soto: She didn't write a note or a word for this, and I can tell. It's as if someone typed "Gunpowder and Lead" and "Mama's Broken Heart" into ChatGPT and out came "Wranglers." The brawny production hinders: every rote syllable gets punched up. [4]

Aaron Bergstrom: Miranda Lambert knows her way around a great revenge song, so I have no idea how something as bloodless as "Wranglers" made it past quality control. This sounds like if "Kerosene" was taken over by a hedge fund. [4]

Nortey Dowuona: Someone needs to get Audra Mae on the record on how long Wranglers take to burn. We would all learn a great deal. I mean, they're jeans, how long do they -- wait. [10]

Ian Mathers: See, other jeans burn like this [crowd goes "ooooh"] but Wranglers burn like this [crowd loses it, uproarious laughter]. Wranglers be burnin', amirite folks? [crowd goes absolutely feral with joy, rips up seats, destroys stadium] [6]

Katherine St. Asaph: As a bar, "Wranglers take forever to burn" sounds badass until you think about it -- so you're what, waiting around your no-good ex's house for a couple hours watching yourself fail to commit arson? As a piece of maybe-product placement, it's no "Wrangler butts drive the cowgirls nuts." [5]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Just as schlocky as Chris Stapleton's take on prestige-country RAWK; just as charming, too -- you get the sense that Lambert knows she could do a little better than replicating the feel of "The Chain" for the Taylor Sheridan aesthetic universe, but she's clearly having fun. The drums unfortunately sound like Stadium Arcadium-era Red Hot Chili Peppers, but everything else is gorgeously-wrought in the way that Lambert's best singles sound: it's not subtle and brilliant in the way that "Bluebird" or "Vice" were, but even unsubtle Lambert can be an exceedingly good time. [7]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: The way that the chorus descends -- as if engulfed by flames and consumed by vitriol -- is satisfying as hell. This one is for your inner pyro.  [7]

Taylor Alatorre: One of the purposes of a song like "Wranglers," even if Lambert will deny this, is to demonstrate how much more "real" its performer is than Nashville newcomers like, for instance, Dasha. Which is fine on its own: gatekeeping, in forms both benign and ugly, has been a country tradition since it was still being called "hillbilly music," and it makes more sense to police the authentic in a genre whose very name embeds it in the soil. Lambert certainly sounds more comfortable tossing around the signifiers of battle-scarred, woman-scorned country than Dasha does -- maybe too comfortable, if all the instant "Kerosene" comparisons are any indication. But there's one fatal flaw that "Wranglers" shares with "Austin," and it's the intended wham line in the chorus that serves only to douse the narrative in the cold waters of an anti-climax. Steer your mind away from the familiar abstractions of vengeance and female autonomy, and actually picture what Lambert is asking us to picture here: does a pile of faded blue jeans burning in the desert sun for half an hour longer than expected really sound all that satisfying to observe? Why write a revenge fantasy where it can be assumed that the revenger is impatiently checking her watch every few minutes, waiting for the fantasy to be over already? [3]

Jonathan Bradley: A far cry from “Kerosene” or “Gunpowder and Lead,” what’s supposed to be a barn-burner turns out to be a damp squib due to a muddy mix that chokes the guitar in indistinct haze, taking Lambert’s own voice with it. Soggy kindling results in little heat and so much smoke you can’t make out much of anything at all. [4]

Mark Sinker: A pop song is after all no more than a cluster of commodities circulating within a set of interlinked markets -- so how is a Brit listener my age (me) still faintly rattled when said song’s burden is a straight-up major brand-name placement? As if that’s somehow not allowed (or anyway not really cricket). Blame the BBC’s straight-up long-term ban on any hint of advertising in anything they broadcast, and the penumbras of ideology beneath and alongside that ban, the smoke and the steel shaping my inner mind: it’s like The Who never Sold Out; like the late Nick Kamen kept his laundrette Levis on to Marvin’s “Grapevine,” like Sigue Sigue Sputnik never sold literal ad-space slots on their first LP (for L’Oréal, EMI, i-D magazine and more); it’s like Run DMC went barefoot. I escaped it enough that Vybz Kartel, Gaza Slim and Popcaan excitedly hymning their nice new furry suede shoes is one of my all-time favourite Jukebox entries. Sadly this is no “Clarks”: after a misleading Morricone lens-flare it slumps quickly into charred serge and claggy ash. No ethical immolation under capitalism! [5]

Michael Hong: If this is Miranda's attempt at returning to being the shit-talker and the fire starter, well, it sounds like she's got her kindling stacked too neatly and forgotten her matchbook at home. [4]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[nochi-quinn]

legend of vox machina season 2 episode 8: echo tree OR more like incel tree amirite

sam is the "nice melons" npc bc of course he is

imagine the twins using their old tricks to duck the guards and it doesn't work bc that was over a decade ago

hello Elf Guard Matt

"we're his children" (derogatory)

"I've known many people with money and titles. They are definitely not worth you."

VELORA

the twins are not immune to velora and neither am I

"your father will be pleased to see you" I doubt that

"if you'd notified me you'd be gracing us with your presence" has this man never heard of an emergency

"if you've come for my money - or my goats - I don't have any!" wilhand

"real vestments!" I don't know why that's so adorable to me but here we are

"did you forget to eat??" eating is one of the three things grog actually knows how to do

"hi, pop-pop. I fucked up" me every time I call my parents

"what can syngorn do for you?" directed very specifically at percy, fuck everybody else

oh I just realized he's probably shitty about keyleth too, since she's also a half-elf

a second-generation half-elf, at that

my partner: does he not realize vax is wearing deathwalker's ward me: he doesn't care, that's human shit

"do you have any idea the burden your sudden arrival has caused my family?" I regret to inform you that this is in fact also your family

and now we know what role vex played in this emotional abuse hellpit

"you might just wanna avert your eyes" she literally confirmed that grog's dick didn't get acided off for him

if that's how scanlan 'works both ends' I am terribly sorry for any of his partners

it took me three watches to realize he's whistling Pull My Beads Of Love

percy spending that whole meeting trying desperately to figure out which House he could give to Vex without Cass shanking him

"what does 'fuck you' mean?" little pitchers have big ears

(didn't they on-purpose teach her the word 'shit' in the campaign)

if we get byroden flashbacks are they gonna be exu-compliant

"somehow I feel like it hurt me more" relationships! with! abusive! parents! are! complicated!

ew, tree gunk

he finally called her stubby, I can die happy

I knew where they were going as soon as he said "stimulation"

big "not a good enough reason to use the word 'penetrate'" energy

I enjoy Transition Frog

garmelie: don't submit to his voice vex, already extremely emotionally compromised: ✔✔

look, I don't claim to be a perfect parent, but I don't think I could look at something a child made for me with their own two tiny little hands and just casually break it in front of them

not even just my child. any child.

yeah, come to think of it, even vax doesn't Get It, bc he never wanted syldor's approval, or at least got over the want very quickly.

(fun fact, every time I type or say "syldor" I have to force myself not to say "isildur"

look at this. this is insane. I'm obsessed with this shot.

the feywild is using all of percy's black powder, he better hope victor survived.

I'm glad we got the "if I could pull the blood of him from my veins" line but it was so, so good when she was yelling it at her dad

vax now is not the time to ask keyleth to touch your butt

"dear broken vex'ahlia" if the word 'broken' is literally in your proposal there might be something fucked up about it mb

vex: my heart is someone else's percy: oh? do I know them?

incel tree saundor

"how do you fight a tree?" with a druid

I reluctantly admit him making the arrows out of his palm is pretty cool

I also love a good upside-down arrow shot

vex Jungle Sliding for her life

god I love keyleth so much

the way it springs open inside the stab wound is A+

mala: of course it survived, bc percy 100% expected her to stab a man with it

"he is who he's always been" "I know. and so am I." I am foaming at the mouth over this, at vex knowing she needs to work on parts of herself before she can actually confront her dad

there is SO MUCH nuance and middle ground between "still being actively abused" and "full no-contact" but it's more viscerally satisfying to show the Salt The Earth Behind You fight instead of the long, slow, painful work of attempting reconciliation

tl;dr reconciliation is a thing and I wish more stories used it even though it's complicated and subjective

"I usually hate the theater"

"how did that appear? how did tvs just appear? and really old tvs, based on the make and the year?"

this motherfucker

"he killed me with them" grog backstory GROG BACKSTORY

westruun is my favorite arc okay, I apologize for nothing