#but why is maria always the one portrayed to be ignorant of how life really is

[mariatesstruther]

the way some ppl villainize maria whilst simultaneously extending the most grace humanly possible to tommy and and abby and joel and tess is….. odd

[jgroffdaily]

A photo of the “Merrily We Roll Along” bows from @alixlerman on Instagram.

Recent guests: Renee Fleming, Phil Dunster, Cherry Jones, Marilyn Maye, Patti LuPone, Lonny Price, Cynthia Nixon, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Bernadette Peters, John Gallagher Jr, Gaten Matarazzo, Mandy Patinkin and Debra Messing.

A new production photo by Joan Marcus with a review pull quote, which is part of a new collection of promo material from NYTW, is below.

A review excerpt from Cititour:

So, should we really care how they all got off track, even if we’re eventually shown they were once much better people? In past productions, that has not usually been the case.

What’s changed here is that Friedman has staged the work (on Soutra Gilmour’s barely changing unit set) as a memory play of sorts, with a deeply troubled Franklin obviously trying to figure out why he’s rich but unhappy by replaying his entire life in his head. Further, when he says, early on, that his biggest mistake was saying “yes” every time he meant to say “no”, it not only sounds sincere coming from Groff (even if the statement is meant to hurt his wife) – it proves to be painfully accurate.

Choosing Groff to portray Franklin proves to be a stroke of genius, and not just because his golden throat does justice to some of Sondheim’s best songs. His undeniable good looks and obvious charm (where we have often gotten smarm) makes it entirely reasonable that Franklin would inwardly believe he always deserved success and therefore ignore its cost.

Moreover, it also makes perfect sense that Franklin would attract the love of not just Mary and Charley, but his two wives, the sweet if naïve Beth (an appealing Katie Rose Clarke) and the manipulative, emotionally stunted Broadway star Gussie Carnegie (the sensational Krystal Joy Brown, who needs a “Dreamgirls” revival ASAP). Even Gussie’s then-husband, the powerful producer Joe Josephson (a touching yet hilarious Reg Rogers) can’t seem to resist Frank’s allure.

But “Merrily” is no one-man show, and this production works splendidly because of Groff’s undeniable chemistry with his main co-stars, each of whom are equally brilliant.

[shu-sakamaki]

(TW : Bullying)

Random and dark headcanons about Shuu Sakamaki

If you are not comfortable with those themes please just scroll, I don't want to make anyone uneasy, it's for fiction and fantasies only, Shuu is in NO WAY meant to be portrayed in real life, he is not a good person and none of his actions are acceptable.

In which you're a bride living in the Sakamaki manor :

- His voice is really low, much lower and raspier than his voice in the anime, it just makes more sense to me because he's always sleepy and horny, sadly he's the one who speaks the less (like, sir, just keep your mouth open and never shut up 👄🔪)

- He's just so disgusted everytime Reiji come near him that he's always scrunching his nose for a split second and then furrows his brows as if he smelled something bad but it's just Reiji (🤣🤣) and four eyes get even more mad.

- If your staring at him for too long he will stare back at you and look at you up and down. Now, there's two type of look, there is the "gtfo of my face, you're burning my eyes" (which is kinda hot in its own way 👉👈) and the "I'm horny as hell, keep staring at me I will mount you, female." And I don't know how, but he notice everything, you can try and  be unnoticeable by looking at him and then looking away but when your looking back at him again, he's staring right at your soul like 👁-👁 (sir pls stop you're scaring me)

- He have bedroom eyes like, 90 % of the times, Shuu always seems to be in his own reality with his closed eyes and earphones, he somehow look zooted (on sleep and sex uhu, anyways letmeshutup)

- He's the king of side-eye, if you bother his slumber he will give you the saltiest, hottest, coldest side-eye, it'll make you tear up. My theory is that he can make people crumble with just a look. (and that's on 💫trauma💫)

- Now that we're on the subject of tears, Shuu loves them (you monster) and try a lot of things mainly out of boredom and just to randomly see you cry because why not. And him being a teaser + dacryphilia is the worst thing you can ask for. Because when the oldest lay his interest on someone, I think that the rest of the brothers kinda back off to  not make him angry (they're not suicidal gud gud) so you're just getting bullied by him and everyone is just watching.

- For example when you walk past him, he'll pinch your thighs and it always hurts so bad and leaves red/purple spots or just grab your wrist and hold it really hard till you cry and beg him to not break it. And sometimes he'll just plainly ignore you which can be worst because it's always leaving you with the impression that something's gonna fall upon you when you least expect it. (Not mister playing as the Fates) And if you try to avoid him, he's going to catch up on it pretty fast and suddenly you're seeing him everywhere and he's not going to limit his torture to the manor, even in school he will find ways to terrorize you. He will say the lewdest, dirtiest things to you like its nothing or will just sneak up on you and touch your butt in the hall. (You need to keep an eye on him like the bogeyman). It's just a game for him, he's bored and you're the perfect prey to toy with.

- Yeah also he doesn't care about consent... just like the rest of his demonic gremlins of brothers, resisting him just makes it more fun for him. But if you are actually getting aggressive like pulling his hair, slapping him or scratching his skin he'll put out his knife (he gon look at you like dis 🔵👄🔵🔪) and will threatens to kill you really slowly. A thing about his knife, is that admin once said that he's carrying it everywhere, so he can just pull it out of idk where and rub it on your skin, threatening silently to slit your throat at any moment. There is always that one kid who like to draw on people's arms with a marker in school, Shuu does the same with his knife, you have little cuts here and there because of him.

- He's manipulative and merciless, you can pour your heart out to him and tell him how something just broke you and he's gonna look at you like "and what does it got to do with me?" or just fall asleep on you. He picks a lot on your insecurities just because he knows where it hurts (he doesn't really think it, he don't care lol) and will talk to you with such a mocking/condescending tone, as if your stupid and its not like you can complain about it.

- Shuu appears at the most random times and just ask you to do things that HE'S supposed to do. And you can either do your thing and he won't care or be bothered that you disobeyed and will punish you. Admin mentioned it often, how one of the scariest thing with Shuu is the unlimited feeling of uncertainty, you really never know. One day he's cool with you and the other he's not.

- Remember when Shuu talked about seduction ? He said that its the difference between him and Laito. Laito thrives off people's fear and disgust of him and he will force himself upon them, and with Laito, you're mainly scared of him. But with Shuu, there is something quite exciting about him being around you and just giving you his attention. (Idk how to explain it, it's the Shuu Effect 🦋) Sometimes you can even feel like you have a choice, when you really don't. He's guilt-tripping you a lot of the time and you don't realize it sometimes and think that it's your decision, but honey...

- When he starts to get use to you, use to you taking care of him and use to your presence that's when the trickiest part comes up. He can either, get bored of you so he'll probably leave you alone giving green signals to his brothers to do whatever they want (or he kills you) or he's falling in love.

- You know that he's falling in love with you when he's more around you to the point when he's the only face that you're seeing and his brothers are just avoiding you like the plague, everyone does, it's like, even humans have a gut feeling that being around you won't bring them good because of the scary demon behind you. (Well if you listen to him it's more of a "You're the one obsessed with me and not the opposite" but yk), he's going to insult you every ten seconds because you looked at an alive being "I'm not looking at you for ten seconds and you're already whoring yourself out ? Pathetic." (But really, it's the poSseSsiViTy), I can also see him as being more touchy in a way but it varies, it don't necessarily mean that Shuu would go tender on you.

- He built a wall around him (like attack on titan type of wall duh, Wall Maria I see you 🙄) to block and repulse any being who wants to be close to him, so when he realizes that he's falling in love with you (and hard because Shuu don't have the concept of limit) he will probably get scared and would try to back off, scare you, being even more brutal because he need to know, need to be sure, how willing you are to be with him. He can't handle a deception and also I feel like he is pretty aware of his mental state and he is deeply scared of losing you and losing himself completely in the same boat.

- When he starts to really care for you, I think that he will start to have nightmares again, especially about Edgar and other stuff involving you because how scared he is. Which bring me to an article that admin about Shuu mastering aftercare, it's 100% logic that he's with you and whispering sweet nothing till he sure that you are safe and asleep with him.

- When his shell starts to crack, it's when he's going to be as his probably most vulnerable state when you can just see how much the paranoia, the possessivity and all the trauma cloud his mind. He will still try to test you for some time and just kinda...still observing like a predator (but with more of a lovesick turn) till he's certain that you will not betray him. And don't take it personally, that's just how he is, everything has been taken away from him, all the happiness, all the color were sucked out of his life, and when there is a real opportunity of getting this happiness back he doesn't play. Literally, Shuu can not handle losing someone important again or he will go full-on Kanato insane. That's why he drown himself in sex and sleep, to not think, that's why he always have sound in his earbuds, to not hear the silence. Its not Shuu's fault that Edgar is dead, it's not his fault if the German shepherd got killed, it's not his fault if his mother didn't took care of his brother, but he'll still take the blame. (Well maybe not for Reiji but you get it.)

Thanks to everyone who manages to read it through and have a good day and remember that you're loved and worthy ❤😌

((I honestly LOVE how you emphasize the canon aspect that Shu has NO LIMITS. Or he LOVES you to the point of obsession, or no deal. That IS Shu... And I'm scared about the person I'm becoming but the ones about how scary he actually is while statically staring at you?... Was hot... O///O ???))

[youwontlikethisblog]

Thank You For Dropping Me Off, Sir

Now I've talked a lot about Armando's denial and given the facts to prove it. What I don't want getting lost in translation though is that though Armando does care about Betty, you cannot deny that he is also concerned over the company, however it(his feelings towards Betty) is the the real reason he continues with the plan.

@el-moscorrofio-y-el-mercachifle (They're the poster about Aura Maria and Mario their post is Episode 64, go read it if you haven't had the chance!) mentioned something that I hadn't thought about all that well, that due to Armando's tendency of people pleasing he often does things out of a deep responsibility for their happiness and his guilt.

When Mario manipulates him this day(the day after he first kissed Betty) he really switches language as he tells him "I don't like this." "I'm worried." He's after our(my) money." which moves Armando to continue with the plan, for the sake of Mario and the company and everyone else in the company but now he has another reason, he somewhat wants to understand what he feels.

Now let's jump into the scene I'll be breaking down.

Betty is being dropped off by Armando. She is still keeping this very PG, trying to justify his actions to them being work related. Again this is very true of a person who has experienced real heartbreak of the romantic kind. Like I mentioned in the previous post I was in toxic friendship, when that friendship was over I spent years guarding myself around anyone and making no efforts to from friendships of any real substance and when I did I worked really hard to keep them at arm's length. This was my defense mechanism and I appreciate the fact that they show this with Betty.

In most instances they don't portray characters with emotional damage all too well or one could assume that Betty does this because she's insecure and though to some degree that's true, Betty also does this to protect herself from having to once again experience heartbreak and this time from someone who she actually cares about, not someone who in some way forced himself to be her interest.

Miguel wasn't just a guy who used her and got money out of it. That wasn't the only thing that broke Betty.

Miguel presented himself as a love interested to Betty, who didn't like him at first but was flattered by his attention, as she later tells Armando that she up to that point thought no man would ever pay attention to her as a woman. Betty was somewhat guarded but once she let her guard down she fell in love.

She says she gave all of herself and all her love to him. He was her first love but Miguel didn't care. To Betty what Miguel did translated to him finding her so repulsive, so heinous, and disgusting that even her love wasn't enough to change his heart and he shared her naked spirit to his friends all for money and to make fun of her. It wasn't a question of ego but rather of worth.

This with every right left Betty traumatized. So when she speaks over him, interrupts Armando and justify it as him being drunk, not knowing what he was doing, depressed, stressed, anguished for the company and exceeding himself with beautifiers, she is trying not to feed her hope. She is trying to remain grounded and safe because unlike with Miguel Betty on her own has discovered who Armando is and decided to fall in love with him. What she feels for his is true and genuine feelings that weren't "forced" or pushed onto her like with Miguel. If she allows herself to believe what he is saying she is allowing herself to fall victim to loves cruelty again.

Armando soberly repeats the same things he had drunkenly told Betty the previous night. That he can't live without her.

"But you haven't lived without me, Sir. I work by your side more than eighteen hours (Girl I would've done killted myself if I had to work beside a man as neurotic as Armando for 18+ hours a day!No matter how good the view is!) a day."

"Yes but now it's different, Beatriz, because I feel these desires[I can't really hear what he said] to caress you, to kiss you." He says leaning forward after touching the side of her face with the back of his fingers, but Betty pulls back and says "No".

As he pulls away Armando studies Betty's face and looks embarrassed as well as confused at Betty's rejection all the while trying to remain composed.

This is when Betty names the list of reasons not to believe Armando is interested in her and Armando gets mad at her.

He openly yells "No,no,no, I'm not confused Beatriz!" he says between clenched teeth and turns to look at her. "I am not. I feel perfectly sure that what I'm saying is the truth."

"Sir, the thing is that it's not possible for you to have taken notice of me."

Angirly now Armando screams at her "But why!"

Why does he react so angrily at Betty for this? For one because he doesn't like for Betty to invalidate his feelings(again this shows he feels comfortable being himself around her) and that she wouldn't believe that he likes her.

I mentioned already that Armando's tone gives us a true understanding of what he's saying and with what intention even when his body language is different. Here he is upset that Betty doesn't believe him and mostly that she doesn't see why he'd be interested in her.

"But why?" he asks more calmly at seeing Betty's reaction.

She nervously begins to explain "Because I know your type really well. You are of fine palate. You like women who are ninety, sixty, ninety, tall, pretty, with class, and-and I don't correlate with any of those characteristics, sir."

"Yes that's true." They both laugh nervously, "Betty, Betty, Betty." He is now trying to find the words to speak. "I love,love, your-your, strength hmm" He nods and here we see him slowly become more honest as he finds the qualities of Betty's that he loves/likes. "I love that energy that I feel when we're together, I love it. I love the way you do things like so sure of it." He smiles and turns to look at her and then tells her. "I also love your softness(tenderness/gentle nature)." he says looking away from her now being shy and then looks back at her and tells her "I love that gift you've got, of managing people. I really love that."(y'all this is why she works 18+ hours with him, I get it).

Again he starts to struggle to find the words but he finds them and unlike the first reason he listed (her strength) he is actually being honest even though he is doing the same gesture(from what I've read often times when you are reading body language you don't just focus on the gesture but overall the entire context; like tone of voice, subject of conversation, speech patterns, ect. We can conclude that Armando is being honest here as it shows a very natural pattern of behavior of his here instead of seeming tense, now he is actively wanting to find the words to speak) "I love your sensibility, man, you've got a very special sensibility." Betty now looks away from him with a slight smile and he seems Contentment with her reaction(Even in the past, before all of this, Armando has always had a face of contentment/joy when he sees Betty smile, especially when he is the one that makes her smile and because of that he kept trying to actively treat her better so that he could be the cause of it; it's a sense of reward really. He did something nice for her and she'd be happy and that would make him happy. A clear demonstration of this is when Armando talks to Betty about her new raise) and he tells her "Betty it's because you're like a little angle to me. Plus I love your personality, what a (the word he uses literally translates to hot or scorching but we'll use another one) welcoming personality and and I love you intelligence. The way you so efficiently do things. It's because I think that any man would find all of that attractive now, don't you think?"

Armando started struggling to consciously find what he likes about her but all of a sudden he can't stop naming them or talking about the things he finds attractive of Betty's. Like a vail has been dropped in his brain all of a sudden>

"Mmm, no." Betty shakes her head in response to his question. "Definitely not, Sir."

"No?" He chuckles nervously "then I don't know what's going on with me then so then I'm going crazy...crazy for you. See I want you to know that since I found out about Nicolas I felt a lot a lot of fear. I felt a lot of anguish and believe me, I felt a lot of anguish but also this desire to caress you and kiss you. " In this sentence we get a shift of tone of voice showing that he shifts from being honest to being manipulative.

"No, no, Sir. What I was only going to tell you is that I don't understand why you feel that about me. I can't find any motive why[you would]."

Armando's tone has now shifted to manipulation, no longer being light hearted and natural.

"This goes to prove that what one feels goes beyond physical appearance, the stereotypical, you understand me?" then again shifts to his natural voice "Betty I know that you've probably thought that the woman of my life has to be a ninety, sixty, ninety, with these marvelous curves, with generous breast, blue eyes, very tall," he says very clearly showing that he likes that and Betty seems down about it until he turns to look at her "like the models, right? But look none of those models have made me happy. I haven't felt for anyone, what I feel for you Beatriz Pinzon Solano." The final sentence he says with conviction. You can't overlook or ignore that as confusion, this shows us that Armando to some degree knows that what he feels for Betty goes beyond anything he's ever felt for anyone.

Now next he closes his eyes to go onto this monologue that beauty isn't what media feeds us but rather something that is deeper than skin. That is it based on the substance of a person, speaking Betty's love ideal here. Why does he have his eyes closed?

He can openly talk about Betty and the wonderful qualities that he finds attractive but he can't openly talk about Betty's physical appearance because up to this point he hasn't accepted or had to face that reality yet.

Betty the whole time is paying attention to what he's saying, his body language. This is why Betty lives sure and convinced of what he is telling her because she's learned to read him like her favorite book and that's the thing.

Betty is very aware of Armando's feelings, boundaries, and flaws. Just like Mario is and we see that in the office when they see each other for the first time after the kiss. Betty inspects his behavior and then decides to act like nothing happened, not only to protect herself but to not make him uncomfortable. The difference however is that while Mario uses his knowledge on Armando to manipulate and force him to do things, Betty doesn't. Betty uses this knowledge to help him and to encourage him in his growth by celebrating his victories and standing beside him when he fails. She doesn't demand for him to change or stop doing what he is, instead she allows him to behave how he does but she isn't shy to show how she feels about it. While Armando isn't so much intune or aware of Betty's feelings because he's so focused on what Betty does for him, however this doesn't dismiss that because of the way Betty loves him, it also inspires him to change and that's really the biggest lesson we get with these two and we're only getting started.

"Are you sure you haven't had anything to drink, sir?"

"I'm sober, Betty, but I'm hallucinating, and that's real." he looks away from her and then back "I'm hallucinating but for you. Of you, Betty." he leans forward. Now the music here gives us the understanding that it is meant to be intriguing(I love the soundtrack so I looked it up and that's legit the title track for this theme) .

Music is a huge part of cinema as it is proven to affect the audience and convey feelings otherwise dismissed. The music creates an air of mystery now because we don't know if what Armando is saying and doing is honest now while in the past we could pick up on it now it's a lot harder to do so.

However one can imagine that while he had his eyes closed he was pictureing Adriana Arboleda sitting in front of him(why else would they show us Mario giving him the picture and telling him to just picture her instead) instead of Betty.

Betty turns to look at the moon after he points it and she smiles.

"Yes the moon is very beautiful. How curious." she speaks as Armando now looks at a picture of AA. "It's the same moon that's inspired so many poets throughout a lot of human history." Here Armando takes in a deep breath is seems to be pumping himself up, he takes off his glasses. Betty is still looking up at the moon and says "There's nothing that inspires more than the moon." Armando sleeks his brows(he wanted to look presentable IG) and agrees with her, now his hand under her chin her turns her around towards him.

"And that's our moon, Beatriz and this is our night." He now leans closer.

Now I see many people point out that Armando's eyes are open when he kisses Betty but this is something he does with Marcela as well which indicates that it isn't based on disgust but mostly guilt.

As they kiss at first his eyes are wide open and then tightly shut(if I'm being honest, as a person who hates romance(ironic huh) I hate with a passion, kissing scenes so this is hard for me to watch lol like I've seen from the nose up, nothing below that so I know how Armando reacts as wella s Betty but the mouth part is the one that grosses me out the most) . Betty takes ina sharp breath and pulls away and now Armando opens his eyes surprised and does the same.

"No, Sir.." Betty is now the one struggling to find words.

"You didn't like it?" He asks but states at the same time.

Betty nods gently, however her eyes are wide. Betty is terrified here and it isn't because Armando is taking advantage here(he's not) it's because she is terrified of all the implications it means. For one she is allowing herself to have hope for a relationship with Armando, for her to show her love to him and for him to love her for it, despite the fact she's "ugly". It means that she is setting herself up for a potential heartbreak that could be the end of her.

"Lets move from here, it's cause my dad peeps out through the windows and he can come and see what's going on and I don't want that."

"Yeah me either."

They move from location and Betty proceeds to speak.

"Sir this isn't correct. I don't know what's going on with you. I'm starting to get worried, Sir. "

"What is it Betty? Is that you suddenly don't feel anything for me?" He tries to stay composed but his micro expression shows worry.

"Of course I do." He looks somewhat relieved while maintaining a poker face. "I admire you a lot. You're a man that's so-so interesting." he smirks and raises an eyebrow showing approval of what she said as well as confident in himself 'Of course you do'.

"I started to feel that you were special for me when you started to defend my work. To value me as a professional." He still seems pleased but not as much. As Betty relays all of this in the professional element(While Armando focused on the person). We know why it was so important to her that Armando did this and why he became special to her for it, however Armando doesn't. "and I realized how important I am for your life.(osea, how important of a role she plays in his life)" Armando now has eyebrows raised and is blinking rapidly. He is really paying attention to what she is saying. and trying to comprehend as well "All of these things attract me from you." she says timidly.

He now has to face this new reality, that though he confessed true attraction based on her person, Betty has only relaid professional or work related qualities that attract her, not him as an individual and why it bothers him.

"That-that's wonderful, Betty."

"But this is crazy, Sir. You have a girlfriend, you're going to get married." He turns from he and opens his mouth slightly in shock and then turns back to look at her. "You can't leave Marcela to start a relationship with me."

He now looks at her with a frustrated expression.

"It would be terrible, your family would not allow it... and what would happen with me? You have to really think this through."

"No, Betty, but of course. It can be crazy, of course. What's happening is that I already... I already experienced something. Yes and I already confirmed that I want to keep living it. Now you're right I can't breakup with Marcela, just like that. The situation with Eco Moda is too difficult to end things with her right this moment, plus my relationship with my family is in crises, I think they wouldn't take the sandal and neither would I but you better than anyone know I don't love Marcela. See if that's the case, what's the fear? Let's continue ahead, Betty. Besides it's about feelings. I have to feel for you, you have to feel for me. We'll see til where we go. Don't you think?" The music theme is titled "secrecy".

"I'm just so afraid, Sir."

"Or is it because you feel more for that sir, Nicolas?" he says with a tinge of jealousy.

"Ay, sir, lets take Nicolas out of this conversation, you want to?"

"Yes clearly, that's what I want. So what then? What's the fear? Huh? You've risked everything for me, see, together we've done a lot crazy things. We've been accomplices in a lot things and now you're going to tell me that you don't have the bravery to live this next to me? Or you don't want to live it, Betty?

"Of course I do, Sir."

"Yes?" He now shifts to kiss her.

After their kiss, after Armando does that disgusted face again, Betty agrees to be his other woman.

His phone starts to ring and Marcela is a very possessive manner tells Armando that she's waiting for him and just wanted to make sure he was going to go over, that she a very delicious dinner for him.

After he hangs up and he agrees to drop her off he tells Betty "You look very precious." And she scoffs in a lighthearted way, finding it funny that he'd say that.

Marcela legit made fun of her and said that she looked worse than she had the day before so it amuses her that Armando would say that.

"One last question, will Mr. Mario Calderon know of this?" she asks as they arrive at the front of her house. "It's just that you both are so trusting of each other, you tell each other everything. I wouldn't want for him nor anyone to know of this, Sir. In some way you have a relationship with Ms. Marcela and by accepting this affair I take on the role of you lover."

"No don't say that." Again this entire things highlights Armando's true nature of his obsessiveness with physical perfection and how it's the only way he can ever be attracted to a woman so he feels grossed out by the idea of having to do anything more than kissing, and lover implies that they do more than kissing. He'd know, he's an expert in the subject.

This is when Armando promises to Betty not to tell Mario about this.

This is his second mistake with Betty.

The first being that he starts his relationship in the bases of lies.

The drop off:

Now as the nights go on there's a change of pace to the drop offs in front of Betty's house.

This first time Betty waves good-bye to him and he repeats to himself he's a piece of ish over and over again, angirly. Duh, he feels guilty.

Betty's dad then opens the door and Armando urgently drives off. Later we see that he does this frequently but slowly he begins to take a while longer before driving off, which demonstrates his longing for Betty.

[su-angelvicioso]

I'm not sure why you and others push for the fandom to not view Maria as evil? Maria's one of my all-time fave villains, alongside Aro and East of Eden's Cathy Ames *precisely* because she can be cold-hearted, manipulative, and evil. Even in the vampire world, plenty of covens in BD hunt humans and create companions but don't cause death and suffering on the scale that Maria does. Why can't we just love her as an "evil" character instead of pushing the idea that's she's misunderstood?

I’m sorry if this response is about to come with some Aggressive Heat. I am...

But I am saying it like this for the last time I hope because I am Simply Tired of constantly having to explain this very same thing that I have already explained and talked about a million times already. This is not just to you. This is to everyone who has ever came after me, insulted me, talked down to me, and more simply for trying to love and show a different, better, more nuanced character in the name of María.

María is not evil, she is not a villain. I don’t care what anyone says. She does not even act as a villain in the present of the series. Not even to the one that she is most known for being “evil” to. She and him are literally friends. Some characters, usually characters of color, are always portrayed and said to be So EviL when they’re not? They really are just misunderstood. Sometimes on purpose, and sometimes on accident due to ignorant and prejudiced influences.

I’m not sure why you seem to think me -and others- wanting to show that María is not evil is something that needs to be questioned. María is not a villain, point blank period. and putting her into the same category as Aro and whoever else you just named I don’t know them is exactly the problem. Because María didn’t do the morally grey things she did because she’s “cold hearted”. Also the covens in BD have been alive for who knows how long, eating the regular vampire diet. How do you know they haven’t or don’t “cause the death and suffering on the scale that María has” ??? I’m sure needing to eat people (and animals) to survive for hundreds/thousands of years surely does cause death and suffering for a Very long time does it not?

Also those covens and vampires in BD didn’t live in a literal fucking War Zone damn near their entire lives. They weren’t born into that environment, raised and shaped in that environment thinking that’s how life was all around. They didn’t have to fight for their lives living in the middle of war everyday. They didn’t lose not only their Human Life and Family but also Vampire livelihood and entire SECOND family to said war. They weren’t left all alone helpless, defenseless with nowhere to go unless risking being found and picked off. They didn’t have to learn how to adapt into a fucked up situation, all alone lest they be killed but you know who was? María.

She actually had a very understandable reason to do the things she did. Does it make it right? No. However it is wrong to me to call her evil when She Didn’t do those things because she just felt like it and/or because she had some gift and then got other gifted people and formed some government coven to rule over the entire world. That’s where the difference lies.

I don’t understand why y’all fight so hard to call her evil? I don’t understand why y’all WANT her to be evil so bad just so y’all can insult and put her down and claim it’s all “in good taste” bc “she’s bad lol”... It’s really not. Stuff like that goes south and gets racist Real Quick and I will never sit comfortable with it. Especially when they don’t understand or relate to her character on the level that I do, coming from someone who sees herself in said character and sees how just unfairly she was treated.

I remember reading a post talking about how anytime a woman of color appears on the screen and isn’t absolutely 100% perfect, people reach to call her evil when she’s really just a character who has flaws. Sometimes those flaws are Very similar to Certain Other Characters however those other characters Never receive the same energy and are even seen as good.

María is a character who has been shaped, taught and destroyed by her environment. She’s a character who’s been forced into a situation and had to adapt in order to survive. That doesn’t make her evil. María is also a character that was intentionally written to be seen as “Evil” “Manipulative” and “Cold Hearted” by a White Woman who is known for being racist and making characters she doesn’t care about, (usually poc) seem more violent, “evil”, bitter, angry, etc.. than the more popular characters (who are usually white) who are portrayed to be “pure”, happy, and good etc... She also made this character to only be used as a plot point, a device for a white male main character who didn’t need it, thus doing a disservice to her as an actual whole character and a person.. which a lot of people ran with and perpetuated and still do to this day. So much is stripped away from her because of that and no it isn’t right.

So excuse me but No. I will not be acting like she’s some evil villain nor will I ever do so. I Am So Tired of that characterization and representation for not only Mexican characters like María but also other poc who never got to see people like them shine and be the good ones and the hero’s and look nice and such, or just to simply exist and be imperfect and Not get called evil at every reaching chance by people who don’t understand.

And I damn for sure am not about to act like she’s So Evil and then turn around act like the white characters everyone loves are some angels for damn near doing some similar shit.

I Am Tired of seeing my people always be demonized in the Most stereotypical ways and making her that way and pushing that notion that she’s “So Evil!” Leads people to be so close minded that they don’t even Try to empathize with, nor understand her character.

This has been happening to her character since the beginning because people only saw her as “Evil” and that’s it. That also leads to people getting Down Dirty and Racist against her because they think that’s what she deserves for being an “Evil” character. I’ve been around a long time, at the time when nobody thought about her character for more than two seconds and when they did, it was only to call her evil and other nasty ass names and compare her to white characters who were no better and all around treat her character like more shit than Meyer did. It was sick and it was horrible, all because nobody really looked at her character, talked about her, analyzed her or anything, She was given some of the worst treatment I’ve ever seen given to a character, all because “She’s Evil.”

And not to be petty but Y’all are really starting to sound like Mermaid Man with this whole “EVIILLLLL” thing that y’all have been literally pushing since her character was introduced. But when I “push” to have her be seen as an actual person with feelings, history, character, nuance, culture, dimension, and understanding and to be treated with the same respect and empathy that yall give other characters like Victoria, Jasper, Alice, Jacob etc.. then it must be questioned? It’s been horrible for her character since forever. People have only JUST started to come around to her, understand her more, and give her the same type of care, defense, and sympathy that people have given to the likes of Jasper. People only JUST started to really ease up on her and say she’s actually not Evil and see her as a Real Character/Person. People have been absolutely shitty to her and calling her evil for WAY longer. But that time is over and frankly? It needed to be over. So when you ask me “Why can’t we say and act like she’s evil?” I don’t really understand it because y’all BEEN doing that and a lot of you still are.

If you think I’m about to act like she’s some Evil Bitch Villain all because she’s an unhinged character with gray areas when not only does it make perfect sense why she ended up that way but also damn near every other character in that series is just as, if not more gray, and “evil” then you are sorely mistaken.

The fact that you have the privilege to not already see nor understand WHY I do what I do for María and WHY I will never see her as evil and WHY I try to bring about the notion that she really wasn’t evil and/or no more evil than her white counterparts that are praised for also being manipulative and such themselves really showcases my point here, and then to tell me I (and some others) “push” so hard for it when we’re really just calling people out for their hypocrisy, Racism and ignorance when it comes to María’s character.. That doesn’t sit right with me.

I, a woman of color who has been talking about and explained This Very Thing multiple times until I’m blue in the face, and is Tired of it shouldn’t have to explain to you why I do this and why I feel it is the right thing to do for characters like her. That is not my job, and why you don’t understand it and sent me an inflammatory ask like this is beyond me.

Again, I apologize if I am coming off too harsh however I am very Sick & Tired of people (usually anon) coming at me with this same thing to me over and over again, and having to explain over and over again only for people to continue to say things about her that clearly show that she is still misunderstood because of how heavily she is ignored and simply written off as “Evil”. Her character has literally suffered so much because of that and I am Tired of it. So I put this response as bluntly and clearly as possible.

If you wanted to have a real genuine question I do not think going on anon and doing it like this is the way. Considering my past with this very thing, I do not trust inflammatory anons such as this one. I’ve been told not to take them seriously however I took this one seriously and responded this way because I am at my wits end.

[cagestark]

Could you do a divorced!starker prompt? They meet each other some years after their divorce... I really don’t have a plot for it? lol I just wanna see them falling in love again after an angsty split up, pwease 🥺

Hope this works!

Warnings: sex, addiction mentions, overdosing. Tony and Peter are both 38.

Read here on AO3.

-

“Thirty-eight years old,” Peter mutters under his breath, glaring at his reflection in the mirror. “And I still don’t know how to tie a tie.”

Ned appears over his shoulder, a familiar warm presence. It’s been nearly fifteen years since Peter moved away to California, only seeing Ned for the odd weekend during the holidays or their weekly Skype sessions, but some things never change. Their friendship is one of them: something forged in fire and made invincible, but for all its strength, its still so soft. “Here,” he says. “Maria taught me years ago.”

“I wish she could have made it tonight,” Peter says. Ned’s wife of ten years is a lovely woman with the darkest skin he’s ever seen. When Peter visits New York, he often stays with them in their apartment, sleeping on the couch only to wake up to her in her mint colored bath robe telling him that breakfast is ready and coffee is waiting.

Then again, maybe it’s a good thing she isn’t there. As selfish as it is, tonight he is glad to have all of Ned’s attention on himself.

Maybe it will help him stay out of trouble.

“I wish she could have made it, too,” Ned admits, taking Peter’s tie and maneuvering it expertly into a Windsor knot. “But she’s showing some couple a house upstate, and she wants to be there early. I told her I’d send her a selfie. You’ll have to get my good angle.”

“She thinks all your angles are good.”

“Well, she’s farsighted.”

“Barely. She doesn’t even wear glasses—”

The bantering comes easy to them. It always has. It distracts him from the thoughts of what’s coming tonight, of his reflection in the mirror, of what his former classmates will think when they see him. The eyes are the same, with some extra lines around them. His hair isn’t as thick as it was in high school, but it’s certainly not thinning. His physique is mostly unchanged, though he isn’t running anymore eight minute miles. It’s hard, getting older. And what does he have to show for it? Yes, he’s successful in his field. He doesn’t have to worry about money (much). But there is an emptiness in his house in Palo Alto, one that echoes. It echoes inside him.

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you,” Ned asks in the cab.

“Who?” Peter asks. Like he doesn’t know. He gives up the gimmick almost immediately, shoulders sagging. His gut feels full of snakes, twisting and squeezing the breath out of him. If he weren’t sitting down, he’s afraid his knees might knock together. He hasn’t been more scared of anything in his life—not moving across the country, not changing careers, nothing.

Nothing except seeing his ex-husband, Tony, for the first time in fifteen years.

“He’s going to be there,” Ned says calmly. “He already mentioned it to the tabloids. I called the school ahead and they said that they’ve got increased security just because of him. He’s definitely going.”

“Of course he’s going,” Peter mutters. “He’s Tony fucking Stark. He’s a billionaire. Why wouldn’t he go back to his twenty-year high school reunion.”

Ned is unphased in the face of Peter’s sarcasm. He reaches out to take his friend’s hand, both their palms sweaty. They haven’t held hands in years, not since they were just kids in high school, but Peter squeezes and squeezes and doesn’t ever want to let go.

“I’m scared,” Peter admits.

“Are you going to make a move?” Because of course Ned knows. Peter has never explicitly stated that his biggest regret—the thing he thinks about during every lull in his day, the thing he lies awake at night lamenting, what he wishes he could take back every time he tosses a penny into a fountain—is divorcing Tony.

They were high school sweethearts. When Tony moved from Malibu to New York in their sophomore year, there was animosity between them, both competing for the top spots in their class, both on the decathlon team, both filling out forms for the same scholarships their senior year. It only made sense that their animosity morphed to a tension of a whole different sort. Tony was beautiful, was clever and smart, so kind-hearted…so flawed.

But freshly eighteen, already committed to going to the same college together, Peter could only see through rose-tinted glasses. They married with only Peter’s aunt there at the courthouse to give her blessing (and her blessing came in the form of many warnings—you’re so young, Peter, I hope you know what you’re doing). Then their time spent in university was tumultuous at best.

Tony drank too much. There were a few incidences with cocaine that made the older boy aggressive and even more pig-headed. Mostly, it was the arguing. Tony’s instincts to lean towards stoicism and sarcasm in the face of emotion and turmoil made Peter feel more alone than ever in his own on-campus apartment. What had they been thinking? Neither of them was mature enough for marriage. Tony especially, Peter would think, noting his empty seat during the morning lectures, knowing that his husband was back at their apartment sleeping off his latest binge.

So, he went with his aunt to begin the annulment process. The judge was sympathetic and granted it. Peter Parker-Stark became Peter Parker again. He moved apartments, stopped answering Tony’s texts, sat on the other side of the room during the classes they shared together. It wasn’t easy. If anything, Tony’s behavior grew more reckless, which was hard for the younger man to ignore. There was one night when Peter got a call from the emergency room that Tony had overdosed, and Peter was still his emergency contact. He sat by his ex-husband’s side until the sun came up and he began to stir. Peter had left before Tony could wake, stopping by the front desk to tell the nurse to remove his contact information. He wouldn’t watch Tony kill himself—couldn’t.

After that, Tony got the hint. He stopped texting. He stopped making sad eyes at Peter from across the room. He stopped trying to corner him in the hallway after their lectures ended. While it was what Peter had wanted, it still made his heart ache, heavy. There was no winning. There was no clean break. Everything hurt.

Sitting two rows behind him at their graduation was the last time Peter saw him. In person. After that, all of his Tony-sightings were via the news: newspapers sold by vendors on the street, magazines beside the checkout at the store, interviews on television. Tony had always been brilliant, always had dreams of starting his own company. Peter had just never thought he’d be able to shake his addictions and do it.

For a long time, it seemed like he was able to manage both. Every other article seems to portray Tony as a partying playboy, different men and women on his arms every night, arrested once for possession of marijuana. But Tony never crashed and burned the way Peter had been so afraid of. Even after Peter had move away from New York (away from Tony, away from the huge tower in Manhattan that had his former last name emblazoned on the side), he’d kept track of Tony in the news. Seven years ago, he committed to rehab, and when he got out, he’d done more than turn over a new leaf. He’d abandoned that tree altogether.

Peter couldn’t help it. Alone in his condo one night, eating leftover take-out alone, he’d realized: leaving Tony had been the biggest mistake of his life. Every interview charmed him all over again, every smile cut as sweetly as it cured him. The passion in his ex-husband was visible, and he was doing it, living his dream, changing the world. So many nights he thought of trying Tony’s old number to see who might pick up. In a box in his closet were letters, apologies, pleadings, still in their envelopes, unlicked and unsent.

“I can’t make a move,” Peter says, feeling tortured. “I know what that looks like. Trying to get back together with him now that he’s on Forbes Wealthiest.”

“Does that have something to do with it?” asks Ned.

Peter is ashamed to feels tears burn at his eyes. “I remember when we sat on the floor of our apartment because we had no furniture. I remember eating ramen and rice for three meals a day until we both found jobs. I loved him, then. It’s not about the money.”

Ned squeezes his fingers. When the cab turns into their school lot, filled to the brim with cars, they slide together a little in the backseat, and Ned is a warm, solid presence beside him. Suddenly, Peter wants a hug, more than he’s wanted anything. Instead, he just squeezes back.

There is heightened security. There are paparazzi, real life people with cameras standing around. And Tony is already there, his car a sleek, sexy thing, obscene outside their simple high school. The cab drops them off and Peter pays with shaking hands. It’s something out of Alice in Wonderland, being back here after so many years. Things have changed—the school’s roof is a different color. The parking lot has been paved, finally. But it’s still the same place. They’re the ones who have changed.

“Ready?” Ned asks.

“No,” he says. They go in anyway, shifting through the crowd which is only there for Tony. They have to show their ID’s to get in, and Peter is already seeing familiar faces: shapes different, hair different, but features so similar. Voices the same. The old decathlon team is there and they freak out to see Peter, even Flash, who was only ever shit to him.

Peter shakes his hand anyway. It’s been twenty fucking years. Plenty of time for Flash to have changed.

The auditorium is decorated scantly, but classy. It’s preferable to the way Peter remembers their school dances being: all strobe lights and music so loud it was impossible to hear each other. His eyes scan the room, but there were so many people in their graduating class (and Tony is, admittedly, short) that Peter can’t spot him right away.

“Drinks?” Ned asks.

Peter nods. Across the room are a series of white-clothed tables with finger foods and drinks. They fill their plates with grapes and cheeses and shrimp cocktail and all manner of other things, laughing at the pile of food they’ve accumulated. Sporadically placed around the platters are framed pictures—outtakes from their yearbook, most likely—and they laugh so hard that tears fill Peter’s eyes at the picture of Flash taken at the prom afterparty wearing nothing but his vest and pants. The afterparty was held at the school also and an alcohol-free zone. That hadn’t stopped plenty of teens from drinking on the way there.

Their class president accosts them before they can sit down, giving them nametags and markers to write with. For the sake of irony, Peter considers writing his name down as PENIS, but really. He was grateful if no one would remember.

“Peter,” Ned says, lowly, pressing his nametag into place on the breast of his shirt. “I see Tony.”

“Where,” Peter breaths, marker shaking in his hand. He keeps his head ducked, staring at the table. He can’t look up. He just can’t.

“He’s—oh. Oh, Peter. He’s coming over here. Okay. T-minus ten seconds, I’d say. What should I do? Should I tackle him? Should we run? Peter, I—oh.”

Peter can feel him. Tony has always had a presence about him, a tangible aura that follows him around the room. For the first time in fifteen years, it washes over Peter like ocean tide slipping over his head. He feels it from his crown to his heels, goosebumps raising along his arms, hairs standing on end. It’s a Tony-sense.

A tanned hand enters his vision. There are more scars on the knuckles than there used to be, but he knows those hands. He knew them intimately. Those hands used to take him apart after a long day in classes, used to edge him for ages during finals when he was already wound up tighter than a spring.

“Hey, Leeds. Looking good. I think some friends of mine are being shown a house by your wife tomorrow.” The voice is the same, maybe a little deeper, rough and fast. It makes Peter shiver. He watches Ned shake hands with Tony but can’t cock his head up to take the man in.

“Oh, you’re friends with the Romanovs? The house is killer. Maria showed me some pictures.”

“Natasha talks about it all the time. Don’t tell your wife this, but they’re already pretty sold.”

“Jokes on you,” Ned says, whipping out his phone. “I’m going to tell her anyway.”

They laugh. Peter can’t avoid it anymore, can’t stare at his own hands like an idiot. He turns, tilting his head up.

He knows how Tony looks. Last week, the guy did a segment on Good Morning, America for fuck’s sake. He isn’t so different, has hardly changed, to be honest. He looks so good that it hits Peter all over again, he let this man go. He feels that stinging in the back of his eyes that warns him he is on the verge of tears, presses his lips together even as he sees Tony smile—he has more laugh lines, ones that Peter didn’t give him.

Peter holds out his hand, trembling, hoping to God that he doesn’t burst into tears. Tony stares at it for a long time before taking it—and pulling Peter up and out of his chair.

“Can I hug you?” Tony asks warmly. “Are we there yet? Can we get there, quickly? Because, not to be soft, I’m really craving a hug right now.”

Peter laughs wetly. He nods. They hug. Tony is barely an inch taller, definitely broader through the shoulders though. His suit feels silky against Peter’s skin, and he smells so fucking good. Cologne. Something expensive and familiar. The same cologne he got Peter for Christmas their first year together. He digs his fingers into Tony’s back, pressed flush together from chest to shin. It’s hard not to fall back into their old dynamic. In this man’s arms, he feels small and soft and cherished.

“It’s okay,” Tony says softly. “It’s okay. Okay?”

Peter nods. He doesn’t know what’s okay, because nothing feels okay, except for this moment. This singular moment, when Peter clicks back into place with the neighboring puzzle piece that he left behind so many years ago.

Tony lets the hug go on far longer than is platonic. Except for the lack of swaying, people might have mistaken them for slow dancing.

“Now might not be the time,” Tony says into Peter’s neck, warm breath fanning over him. “But I texted you a few times, oh, a decade and a half or so ago, and you never got back to me. Like, what gives?”

Peter shakes his head. Tony pats his back, right between his shoulder blades, and hums—a warm sound that reverberates through Peter’s entire body. “I’m only kidding,” he admits. “Water under the bridge, Pete, I hope?”

Pete. God. He pulls back, a hand on Peter’s shoulder, and there isn’t any hope that Peter will be able to school his face. None at all. He must look tortured, on the verge of tears, years of regret that he will never be able to reverse. So much pain, and some anger too, because Tony became the man that Peter wanted, only years, years late.

“Want to walk with me?” Tony asks. His eyes flicker to Ned. “That okay, Leeds? Pete and I will go and see the locker that Thompson used to shove him in. Pay our tributes.”

Ned exchanges looks with him, unsubtle question written on his face. Peter smiles shakily, nods. “Just don’t check to see if he still fits.”

Tony keeps a hand on his back, escorting him out. The warmth sinks right through Peter’s shirt, down to his skin and deeper still, to his bones and his aching heart. This might be all he gets, the last interaction with Tony, the last touch, the last looks. What he gets tonight will have to hold him over for the rest of his life.

Tony leaves behind his security while they walk down the hallways, shoes soft against the tiled floors. It smells the same, and if he weren’t just a little taller, he’d be seeing everything exactly the same. Remembering it. The squeaking thunder of shoes as students filled the hall, the slamming of locker doors, the raucous discussions and laughter.

When he glances over, Tony is staring at him, a soft smile on.

“What?” Peter asks when Tony’s smile blooms.

“Just—you couldn’t have made it easy on me? Became hideously unattractive, or something? God, Pete, you haven’t changed at all.”

“You have,” Peter says. His mouth has always worked a little faster than his brain.

“The crow’s feet? They’re my curse.”

“That’s—that’s not what I meant. Come on, Tony,” Peter says, bumping their shoulders, feeling twenty years younger. There are butterflies in his stomach again. Maybe between AP chem and Shakespearean Literature, he’ll catch a glimpse of Tony in the hallway, a split moment that could make his entire day. “You know you look great.”

“Yeah?” Tony asks. He sounds sincere. “Not going to lie. It feels damn good to hear you say it.”

“So modest,” Peter teases.

“That’s one thing that hasn’t changed,” admits Tony. He stops to rest against his old locker, leaning against it. These days, he wears tinted glasses, but they are off and hooked in the breast pocket of his suit. He’s styling his hair differently these days, but it works for him. Everything works for him. “Tell me what you’ve been up to. How’s California?”

“It’s—” awful. Lonely. “—great. I’m making security software for companies who want to stay ahead of cyber-attacks.”

“I keep up with your work.” Tony’s expression is unbearably tender and fond. “It’s impressive, but I expected no less from you.”

“Tony,” Peter whispers. “Tony, I know this is years too late, I know that you’re successful and happy and there’s no reason to bring up the past. But I just need to say that I’m so sorry. I’m sorry that I didn’t have more faith in you, in the man you could be. You were—and I just—left. I’m so sorry.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” asks Tony. He pushes away from the lockers and comes to stand shoulder-to-shoulder with Peter. “I’m not holding any grudges. I was a fucking mess in college, Pete. And for many years after. The things you caught me doing—I’m ashamed to admit that was only the half of it: the drugs, the drinking. You were the only thing that kept me together—”

“I know,” Peter laments. “And then I just left you—”

“It wasn’t your job. Come on, where’s the smart man I knew? You should know this. You can’t make a person change a moment before they’re ready to, and you’re not obliged to wait around in the meantime. Keeping me together wasn’t your responsibility.”

Peter’s face crumples. It’s more than he expected to hear after all these years—he was so afraid that Tony would be angry, would blame him, would rub in his face how far he’s come and how it is no thanks to Peter. The relief he feels at knowing Tony forgives him (or doesn’t think there’s anything to forgive) almost staggers him. But that’s only half the burden Peter carries.

“I wish I’d held on longer,” he admits. He can’t even look at Tony, the warm solidi presence by his side. He stares down at their shoes, dark and shined enough that they can see their faint reflections in them.

“I’m glad you didn’t. I was hurting us both. I wasn’t any good for you.”

“And now?” Peter asks.

“Now what?”

“Now, are you good for me?”

Tony turns until he has one shoulder braced against the lockers, all of his attention on Peter. No questioning that it’s a heady thing, a physical, tangible feeling, being under those dark eyes. He shivers all over with it, skin prickling, craving—“What are you asking, Pete?”

Peter shakes his head. He can’t say it. Can’t be rejected, even though he deserves it, after the way he rejected Tony all of those years ago. Tony reaches out and Peter flinches even though Tony is the gentlest man he knows, never raised anything more than his voice to him even in their most heated arguments. Warm fingers brush his chin, coax his head to turn and make eye contact.

“My therapist says that communication is key,” Tony says, the corner of his mouth drawn up. “Ironic, considering that I barely spoke a word to him for our first three sessions. Talk to me. We were no good at this back then, and we’re too smart for that. Let’s be good at it now.”

“You’re right, I just—I. I follow your work, too,” Peter ends, lamely. His eyes are wet, lips trembling even as he smiles. “I always have. I can’t stop.”

Tony groans. He reaches out for one of Peter’s hands and laces their fingers together. It’s been too many years—they don’t fit the way that they used to. But maybe that’s a good thing. Maybe this is something that they will have to relearn. That they will have the chance to relearn. Tony brings Peter’s hand up and presses his lips to the knuckles, facial hair brushing the skin. It’s the most chaste, platonic affection, but it takes Peter’s breath away. Then he turns Peter’s hand over, wrist up, and presses a kiss to his pulse. Surely he can feel it hammering away under his lips.

“You want me, Pete?” Peter nods, eyes closed to savor the way Tony’s lips brush his skin as he speaks. Then all at once, they are gone. When he slits his eyes open, Tony is watching him, serious. “I don’t want a fling. I don’t want a one-night stand. You were my one that got away—and unless you don’t want this—I’m not letting you go ever again.”

“How, Tony?” Peter whispers. “I live in California, you live in New York—”

“We’ll take it slow,” says Tony. He’s always been quick on his feet, and the picture he paints for Peter is everything he needs to hear. “Texting. Phone calls. Skype. And if things go well—and I want them to go well, Pete—I’ll fly to you or fly you to me and we’ll go out for the weekend. And if things go very well—and I want them to go very, very well—”

Peter laughs. “I get it, I get it—”

“Then we’ll figure things out. I’m flexible. California doesn’t have a SI headquarters yet, which I’ve always personally thought was such a shame. You could come to New York, too, if you want. Lots of companies here are vulnerable to cyber-attacks. I’m willing to stage a few myself, if it means you’ll have work—I’m joking, honestly, only a joke. God, I’ve missed that look on your face.

“And if New York doesn’t sound good? Pick a place. Any place. We can meet in the middle. We can leave the country. If it goes well.”

“And you want it to,” Peter finishes. He presses his palm to his mouth to smother his smile, but it’s no good. There’s no hiding it. “I want it to, too.”

They kiss, and it’s better than coming home. Peter’s home is an empty, lonely thing. This is warm, and soft, and so tender that it makes him ache from his chest right down to his groin. He brings up a hand to smooth over Tony’s cheek, down the curve of his neck, over the soft collar of his dress shirt. Tony coaxes his mouth open, licking softly and sweetly. He tastes faintly of some brown liquor, scotch or whiskey or bourbon.

All at once, their kisses change from a sampling to the desperation of two drowning men. Peter feels surrounded, overwhelmed in the best way. All of his senses are alight, signals jammed by the interference of Tony: facial hair and liquor and cologne and soft silk ties and the hot bulge below Tony’s leather belt, the one that presses against his own because Peter’s hips jut forward gently.

“I missed you,” Tony says when they come up for air. “I missed you, I missed you, I missed you so fucking much.”

Peter whines. He grabs at the lapel of Tony’s suit to urge him closer. Tony turns them so that he can press Peter into the lockers of their youth, bracing one thigh between his open legs and rutting against him, tilting his head to mouth hotly at his neck. Peter gasps, keeps his eyes half-open to watch the other end of the hallway and make sure no one comes looking for them.

“Missed everything about you,” Tony says. His voice is wrecked, and Peter thinks he might be on the verge of tears. When he pulls back, he sees the slightest redness around Tony’s eyes, the sheen of unfallen tears. “Look at me, Pete. I need to say—I didn’t do any of it for you. You know that, right? My sobriety, my therapy. It wasn’t for you. It was for me. Because I was tired of being the kind of man who let other people down. Who let himself down. I didn’t think I had a fucking snowball’s chance in hell getting you back, you know that right? If this goes south between us again…and I don’t want it to, but if it does? It will hurt like hell. But I will be okay. I want every day you spend with me, every phone call we share, every meal, every glance. I want it all to be because you want to talk with me, dine with me, look at me. Does that make sense?”

Peter nods. He reaches up to rub his thumb tenderly against the soft skin between Tony’s eye—it comes away only a little damp. “How could it be anything else?”

They kiss again. It’s fifteen years overdue. The library fines they must have accumulated would be incredible. They’re insatiable, eighteen years old again, spending their ‘wedding night’ in a motel 6 with candles that Tony bought at the local dollar store, ones that make the room smell like fresh cotton linens and that cast the room in a whole yellow glow. It wasn’t the first time they’d made love, but God it had been good. They’d nearly burned the room down, in more ways than one.

“Tony,” Peter groans, cock aching. He wonders about the car in the lot that belongs to Tony, whether the seats go back far enough for them to properly enjoy themselves. He thrusts his hips, desperate it a way he hasn’t been for anyone or anything in years. “Please,” he asks, not knowing what he’s asking for.

“You know I have you,” Tony says, biting at Peter’s throat. “You know I always have you. Come on, come here.”

Tony tugs him gently down the hallway. The first classroom they come to—AP Chemistry, or at least it was 20 years ago—Tony tugs on the handle and it opens. They duck in.

It’s still a chemistry classroom, the lab tables neatly arranged in rows. There is the faintest scent of cleaners and chemicals, a sinkful of glassware that some student didn’t put away. Tony and Peter had shared this class, Peter sitting at the front and Tony at the back. They don’t choose either of those lab tables, instead settling nearest to the door, unable to make it any further before Tony hoists Peter up onto one of the black, glossy tables.

“Can’t get enough of you,” Tony says, pressing Peter back so he can untuck his dress shirt from his slacks, push up the undershirt and mouth at Peter’s abs. They aren’t as defined as they were twenty years ago, but Peter is proud that there is still definition left, and plenty of strength beneath that. “God, you’re perfect. Still so perfect after all this time.”

“Tell me you’ve got a condom, lube, something—”

“All of the above, baby, be patient with me.”

Peter sits up abruptly. He threads his fingers through Tony’s hair and pulls gently until the other man gets the idea and leans back, their eyes meeting. “I’ve waited long enough, I think.”

Tony softens. Peter hasn’t seen such a serene, fond expression on his face since they were married. This side of Tony doesn’t exist in the tabloids. It fills up all the empty parts inside of him that gaped for so many years. But there’s another empty part of him that he’d like Tony to fill. ASAP.

“Undress,” Tony says firmly. “Just what’s necessary. Don’t want to get caught with anything more than our pants down, do we?”

“Don’t want to get caught at all,” Peter says snidely, opening his belt to leave it hanging at his sides while he unbuttons and unzips his dress slacks. He wrenches both down just as far as he needs to, rolls so that his stomach is pressed against the chilly lab table. He feels a moment of shyness, anxiety, but then Tony is pressing a reverent hand against his flank, rubbing soft skin with a tender thumb.

“God,” Tony says, wrecked already. “You’re a gift. I don’t know if I deserve you, Pete, but I’m willing to spend the rest of my life trying.”

“You can start by fucking my soul out of my body,” Peter says pressing his feverish cheek against the lab table. He’s smiling though. He’s missed this so much, the banter, the connection. The sound of Tony’s belt is loud in the room, the rustle of fabric deafening to Peter’s senses which feel dialed up past their limit. Tony reaches out to pull a stool from under the lip of the lab table, gently lifting Peter’s leg up to fold and rest on it. In this position, he’s spread wide open, the perfect cradle for Tony to fuck up into.

The first touch of Tony’s lubed fingers has Peter groaning. Tony has always been good at this, and the years have only given him more experience. He is gentle but relentless, massaging Peter’s rim, pressing in with a single twisting finger, then two, the stretch making Peter gasp and press back, urging Tony in to the knuckle. Tony fucks him with his fingers for several long minutes, leisurely, like they have all the time in the world. Peter knows not to rush him; this is Tony’s favorite part. Taking someone apart. Turning him into a leaking, whining mess.

“Think you’re ready, Pete?” Tony asks. “Think you can take my cock?”

“I know I can,” says Peter. “But are you ever going to give it to me?”

Tony spanks him lightly after pulling his fingers free. Then there is something larger, blunter, hotter at Peter’s opening and he lets himself go soft, opening up. It’s been so long since he’s bottomed for someone, but he remembers what to do. He’s so relaxed that he can’t even groan, just lets all the breath slip out of him as Tony presses in, gentle but insistent, until he’s bottomed out.

“How do you feel even better now than you did all those years ago?” Tony asks through his teeth. He leans down to bite at Peter’s shoulder through his shirt, just the soft press of teeth. Peter whines, panting, squeezing down around the cock inside him just to feel Tony jerk and bite harder. “Are you ready, Pete? I don’t want to hurt you.”

“Ready, I’m ready, give it to me—”

Tony does. God, he does. He remembers just how Peter likes it, too, soft, long, deep thrusts that the younger man can feel so deep it’s in his fucking throat. Merciless, Tony thrusts into him again and again and again, pressing firmly along Peter’s prostate, every inward thrust accompanied by a jerk of Peter’s cock where it’s dribbling onto the tiled floors.

“You want to work your cock, baby?” Tony pants. “Or you want me to? Feeling lazy?”

“You, you,” Peter gasps. He’s not feeling lazy—he’s feeling alive and awake and invigorated and like he’s liable to explode at any moment—but he’s also desperate to feel those rough hands on him again. Tony is obliging, reaching around to wrap his fingers around Peter’s cock and begin jerking him off in the same way he does everything: thoroughly, leisurely, efficiently. “God, yes, thank you, please Tony—”

Tony groans. “Keep talking like that and I’m going to blow my load in you, baby. You want this over so quickly? Huh?”

“Thought we were just getting started.” Peter can’t help it. He’s laughing, grinning, giddy with it. “Give me your cum, sir,” he says, playing on Tony’s old kinks. “You can impress me with your stamina next time.”

Peter thinks that’s what did it: next time. Tony’s hips roughen, thrusting harder as he nears his end, and Peter clenches his muscles to squeeze around him. When Tony cums, he wraps a gentle but possessive hand around Peter’s throat, the other hand milking Peter’s cock for all it’s worth. Peter wishes they weren’t using a condom so he could feel the hot rush of cum—but there will be time for that. Time for everything he’s been wanting again all these years.

Even after Tony’s hips slow, he stays deep inside while he jerks Peter off. Taking the hand off of his throat, Tony reaches down to cradle Peter’s tight balls and that’s it—he’s gone, spurting all over the lab table, another stool in front of him, the floor. It lasts forever, Tony holding him through the wracking spasms of his body. It’s the best orgasm he can remember having, alone or with anyone else, in years.

“Thank you,” Peter whispers. “Thank you.”

Tony turns him around, hair disheveled, sweat at his temples and softening cock still out between his legs. “What for?” Tony asks, smirking. “For the hand-job?”

“That too,” says Peter, laughing.

They clean up—thoroughly, since neither of them are interested in leaving cum behind on 12th grade chemistry desks. By the time they stumble out of the classroom, they are re-dressed, hair combed, looking (except for the flush in their cheeks) like all that might have happened in Classroom 110 was just a lengthy, tender conversation.

“Do you want to get out of here?” Tony asks. When they pass his body guard standing where they left him, the guy is struggling to keep a straight face, though he follows them without a word. “I’m thinking…Indian cuisine.”

“That place at 99 Hudson Street? Is it still there?”

“God yes, I’d have left this city years ago if otherwise.”

-

And in the morning when he wakes up tangled in the sheets of Tony’s bed on the penthouse floor of Stark Tower, the news has pictures of them sitting cozily in Tamarind restaurant eating lamb kabobs with bell pepper crusts and sharing tindora poriyal.

The headlines read, Reunited.

[itsclydebitches]

RWBY Recap: “As Above, So Below”

Welcome back, everyone. So. Last Saturday I was actually feeling pretty good about RWBY. Not as a whole, but for that particular episode because, as I explained to a lovely anon, not much happened. Sure, there were some semi-important bits in the form of meeting Willow and Weiss discovering the recording, but compared to everything else we’ve gotten this volume it was all around a tame fifteen minutes. Which meant there wasn’t much space for RWBY to mess things up. There simply weren’t any stakes last episode. You don’t like how the group gets past Whitley or the exact words Ironwood says to Jacques? It’s ultimately whatever in the grand scheme of things. Last episode was mostly details.

“As Above, So Below” is not that kind of episode. So much happens and I’m once again left metaphorically banging my head against the wall, not regarding the writing choices themselves per se, but rather at how they’re used and portrayed. There is so much that I want to enjoy about this episode but Rooster Teeth continually ignores aspects of a situation in order to highlight one very narrow, very biased viewpoint. The scenes throughout demand that we conveniently forget or outright ignore certain things in order to immerse ourselves in whatever emotion the writing has decided we should be feeling right now ... and I simply can’t do that. RWBY is a show based on the claim that it’s a bright sunny day, so pay no mind to the rain clouds hovering above your head. It’s the animated equivalent of a Jedi mind trick. These are not the interpretations you’re looking for.

Secrets are finally revealed, folks, and oh boy. It’s a hot mess.

But let’s start at the beginning.

Undermining my assumption last recap that Watts had dismantled something that was regulating just a portion of Mantle’s temperature---something specific to maintaining rain over snow---we learn that all heating has been lost across the city. Which, if you know anything about temperature and the fragile human body, is really fucking bad. Here RWBY actually did a good job of introducing Weiss’ comment early in the volume about how people can freeze to death within an hour or so. We were still left with a few detail-oriented questions like how useful aura is in combating that, why Ruby was still so cold with her, why no one was showing symptoms back during the walk to the farm... but at least the setup is clear here. Civilians don’t have aura so that’s that. They’re dead if they don’t find some way to keep warm (riot fires help...) or aren’t evacuated somewhere else. It’s a big deal, though how exactly this fits into the rest of Watts’ plan and the other bits of chaos he’s accomplished is still unclear. More on that in a bit.

We see Pietro and Maria, but they don’t actually do anything this episode. They just stand around looking scared as people get violent and the city is covered in ominous red lights. At least the show remembers that they exist, but we don’t get to see the brilliant scientist specializing in creating weaponry and the former Grimm Reaper doing something to help. So... B grade on that one?

There’s no time skip this episode so with Mantle unraveling we segue right back to the dinner at the Schnee’s. Ironwood is still getting called out for having too much power. He pushes back that there are checks and balances in place to keep everyone, including him, from abusing that power. This is countered with a broad and not very persuasive claim that they simply haven’t worked. Ironwood comes back with a line about intentions and the nameless (?) council guy goes, “What people intend and what people do are not always the same thing!” Well no shit. If that were the case everyone’s lives would be staggeringly easier. You intend to find the madman who dismantled your army at Beacon? Boom, done. Intend to find the murderer responsible for attacking Robyn’s supporters? Congratulations, you did it. RWBY now has a habit of throwing out lines to remind us that the evil men in power---notably Ozpin and Ironwood---might intend to do good, but look! They haven’t managed it! Which... yes? Sometimes intentions fail, but that leaves the unanswered question of what these characters (and the writing) want them to do instead. No one has the luxury of changing their situation and everyone continues to ignore the fact that there are only bad options all around. I’d rather have someone with good intentions at the helm than, you know, Jacques. It also speaks volumes that as much as the council and RWBYJNR has been criticizing Ironwood lately, everyone still expects him to make the hard call himself. They don’t want that responsibility; they want a scapegoat if and when things go wrong. Just like the group was happy to scream at Ozpin and then get pissed that he left, leaving them to make the hard decisions themselves for once, everyone is screaming at Ironwood and then two minutes later turn about with, “So what should we do, General? What’s your plan? How are you going to fix this?” Though I don’t think any of it is intentional, RWBY has a lot to say about how only good and lucky leaders get to come out of their role unscathed. No matter what you do someone hates you for it and even choosing to abstain isn’t an option, as we saw clearly with Ozpin.

At this point the meeting is briefly interrupted by a waiter who tells Jacques about the heating issue. He responds with a, “My authorization?” before trying to cover things up, awkwardly agreeing with the conversation he just missed. Robyn announces that she’s not done with Ironwood yet though and accuses him of more failures, ending with, “yet you won’t let your own council help you?” which... honestly? Just hammers home how not useful this “Ironwood should trust everyone!” mindset is. Because is Robyn really that dense? The council is Jacques and two of his lackeys. You know, the guy who is about to be arrested for treason and as an accomplice to murder. Even though that hasn’t been revealed yet, Robyn is very well aware of what a corrupt, dangerous individual he is. Remember that she herself is not the council. She was given a “seat at the table” because Jacques wanted to use her against Ironwood. Robyn is sitting here symbolically pointing to Jacques and the two members he has wrapped around his finger going, “Why aren’t you trusting them?” like that’s in any way a sound suggestion. Sometimes the answer to, “Why are you doing Bad Things like keeping secrets?” is “Because people can be unimaginably stupid.” This is an example of that. Robyn wants to know everything and right now she’s willing to risk that information falling into an enemy’s hands to get it.

(Also, that picture in the background? Says a lot that Jacques has a picture of him, his obedient son, and his terrified wife in the room where he conducts business. No Weiss or Winter in sight.) 

Ironwood, of course, tells a straight out lie with an excellent poker face. “I’m not hiding anything.” Which inspires Robyn to use her semblance. Oh no! An insanely convenient ability that would undo every conflict we’ve set up for this season! However will we avoid this? Timing, obviously. Weiss, also conveniently, barges in right when Robyn has put Ironwood on the spot. I said it as soon as Robyn’s semblance was introduced: if you give someone that level of power---something that can too easily solve all the problems you’ve set up---then you have to keep coming up with semi-contrived ways of keeping them from using it.

Also, does she need skin-on-skin contact for her semblance to work? I wonder if that’s why she’s got that one random finger missing on her glove.

Wiess plays the recording of Watts and Jacques, giving us the rest of their conversation. We don’t learn anything new. Watts promised Jacques a seat on the council and he in turn (supposedly) would get the satisfaction of ruining Ironwood’s life. Jacques handed over his login information, including what he gained post-election, and now Watts has access to everything he built and then some. To say that’s bad is an understatement. You might be distracted from your worry though by hearing that cake line again as well as the men’s villainous laughs. RWBY really went full cartoon for that conversation.

A detail I really love though? Ironwood’s rhythmic footsteps as he walks around the table. Super ominous and intimidating. Meanwhile, a hilarious detail is how awkward Jacques gets when he’s finally lost that precious control. This isn’t a confident man capable of denying the accusations against him in anything like a persuasive manner. He doesn’t have Ironwood’s poker face. Jacques is a coward who looks like a schoolboy seated in the principal’s office once caught.

He attempts to escape only to find Weiss’ knight blocking the exit, the one we now know was the possessed armor that belonged to her grandfather. In a thoroughly satisfying moment she declares that Jacques is under arrest... and then turns around to ask Ironwood if she can actually do that. I’m on the fence about this. Normally I don’t mind a bit of humor lightening the mood, but in this case we have three things that I don’t think are improving the situation. The first is the sheer emotional impact that should be accompanying this arrest. This is Weiss’ abuser. The man we’ve known about (incidentally anyway) since Volume 1 and who has driven nearly the entirety of her character development from working to escape him pre-RWBY to coming back as a huntress. Provided that Jacques doesn’t pull a Torchwick and escape himself somehow, this is the culmination of nearly seven volumes worth of heartbreaking struggle. There are some things that I think should be allowed to shoulder their weight without undercutting it with a joke and this is 100% one of them. Just like finding out that a friend you thought had been permanently torn to pieces in front of you should generate heartfelt shock and joy, reaching the moment where you finally arrest one of the show’s biggest personal villains should be treated seriously. Let Weiss have this and put the joke later if you still want it. Weiss could be staring hollow-eyed at her father being put in handcuffs and Ruby could try to cheer her up. “So...” she says. “Can we arrest people?” Weiss blinks, coming out of her stupor, and gives a tentative smile. “Don’t know, actually. But it’s working in this case.” There. Serious moment leading to a bit of comedy-bonding. Humor is a wonderful tool, but it also lessens the other emotions of a scene if not used properly.

Potential issues #2 and #3 are smaller. On a personal note, hearing Weiss’ question simply reminded me, again, that RWBY has failed to establish hard rules for its world, including what a huntsmen’s job entails. A few weeks ago fans were arguing over whether Blake and Yang should feel anything in regards to killing Adam because, according to some, it’s already a part of a huntsmen’s responsibilities to arrest and if necessary kill people. Why would they flinch at something they knew they were signing up for? Others (myself included) pointed out that although we see the students sparing with one another at school, no one says anything about them taking out human and faunus criminals. RWBYJNR’s adventures---from Ruby stopping the robbery in her trailer to tracking down the White Fang---are presented as outliers. This is not the sort of stuff huntsmen are meant to get up to. They fight grimm first and foremost. Everything else is a case-by-case surprise. Note, for example, that Ironwood expects his army to keep the peace and presumably the police when things aren’t quite so dangerous. He’s not sending huntsmen out to track down everyday criminals because that’s not their job. Killing grimm is. Weiss’ comment reinforces that. Can I arrest someone? Is that within my power as a huntress? And Ironwood... doesn’t answer. Because it’s meant to be a joke, not a legitimate bit of world building.

And then the third... is just how Rooster Teeth is using humor throughout the entirety of this episode. AKA not well, which makes me less inclined to give this particular moment the benefit of the doubt. We’ll get to that in just a second though. For now I’ve written way to much on a two second scene.

While Jacques’ plans unravel the rioting in Mantle is getting worse and worse. “Atlas killed the heat on purpose! They’ll do anything to control us!” which is very much a conclusion born of panic. It feels like every other episode Mantle is on the verge of collapse and, by extension, all of these moments feel anti-climactic. We’ve watched Mantle rioting over the embargo, and then Penny, and then the election, and now the heat... none of it feels like it has weight anymore. Rioting is just the way we’re ending most episodes now. It also (again) raises that question of what exactly Watts is trying to accomplish, and not in a “Still to be revealed!” kind of way. We do still have an element of that, but at this point there’s also just a, “Literally what was the point?” aspect too. Why is Mantle rioting most episodes? Shouldn’t that be something to build to? More importantly---as I’ve said before---WHY did they frame Penny? We see in the next scene that Jacques’ guilt likewise reveals Penny’s innocence... even though everyone important knew that two seconds after she was accused. There were no consequences attached to blaming her and, as just established, we clearly didn’t need the loss of a city defender to bring that city to the brink. Mantle has been going over the edge for a variety of reasons and the people were at that point before the group even arrived. When Penny was first framed that seemed like a brilliant setup. Now we see definitively that it led nowhere. Why did Watts bother and why did the writers? It’s another case of RWBY chucking in things they think are “cool” without bothering to follow up on them.

So yeah. The Penny situation is done. We didn’t even get any development out of her from it. That really is disappointing.

With everything Jacques did on the table the situation looks bleaker by the minute. What can Watts do with this control?  “With enough time… whatever he wants.” The group finds out that the first thing he did with this power is shut off the heat and Weiss has the most dramatic reaction, which makes sense given that she’s the one who best understands the risks here. And then... then.

Oh dear god.

Ironwood realizes that Watts may eventually have access to the Amity info, if he stumbles across it or actively goes looking for things to uncover. This revelation on its own is good. That’s something Ironwood needs to try and prevent, so it would have been an excellent moment of storytelling to show us Ironwood’s moment of revelation, perhaps with a bit of dramatic music to hammer things home. Except that instead of keeping this issue between the people who know about it---Ironwood and Ruby could have exchanged knowing glances like Blake and Yang did when they first started keeping their secrets---Rooster Teeth has Ironwood talk about loud to himself about the major secret he’s keeping. He literally calls it a secret! “No. The secret is safe for now. But if he learns about Amity…” Hello?? I understand that this episode is all about things coming to light, but that moment was an absolute insult to Ironwood’s character. We just saw this man claim with a perfectly straight face that he had nothing to hide. Five minutes later he’s apparently lost so much intelligence he stands in front of four people he’s keeping secrets from, including Jacques Schnee, and starts soliloquizing about said secrets. That is the most stupid and contrived way to get caught in a lie. Oh no! I totally forgot a bunch of people were standing beside me! Now everyone has heard that I’m keeping a secret since I felt the need to state that out loud...

And in case anyone thought this is a case where I’m reading too much into things, Robyn literally laughs and goes, “Yep! Still here, everyone!” Reminding them that someone who is not supposed to know about this stuff is standing... right there... listening in... The writing draws attention to it. 

This trumps all other former stupidity. Like the group loudly announcing their attempts to avoid getting arrested in the city covered with surveillance. This is so stupid I want to turn it into a meme. Cleanse this scene somehow.

Anyway. More rioting. More anger. Shock, surprise, that draws a ton of grimm. Take note of the fact that Ironwood’s army is almost useless against this barrage. The missiles from the airships don’t seem to take the horde out. Nor do the guns. Two other soldiers are forced to cower when some pterodactyl-type grimm flies overhead. 

I say this not to bash the army itself (they’re doing their best while up against horrible odds), but rather to re-emphasize how not good telling the whole world about Salem is. Everyone seems to forget that, first and foremost, this is the concern that Ozpin dealt with. Even if he was 100% wrong on every other count---no one would lose hope, no one would ever betray him---it is impossible to hear about Salem and not experience negative emotions and those negative emotions draw grimm that kill everyone. Ironwood’s primary justification was that he’ll use his army to protect the people when that happens and (ignoring that his army can’t possibly be everywhere at once) we see here that it’s all but useless. His soldiers may have been able to handle the grunt grimm seen at the breach and the Battle of Beacon, but they’re  helpless in the face of anything stronger, the exact sort of stuff that world-wide panic over an immortal woman would draw. Clover makes it clear when he arrives that only huntsmen stand a real chance and huntsmen are few and far between nowadays. They lost an entire school. Lionheart made sure nearly all the huntsmen in Mistral were killed. They’ve reached a point where teens are given licenses at least two years early, without full training, because they need the help that badly. Ironwood cannot protect the people if their fear grows stronger. That’s not his fault, but it also means he can’t afford to deliberately stoke that fear. Telling the world about Salem, whether she’s immortal or not, is a 100% death wish for lots and lots and lots of people.

That’s why I can’t get behind an idealistic view of, “But they deserve to know.” Maybe they do, but if given the choice I’d rather keep people in the dark and let them live their lives than tell them for the sake of the moral high-ground and risk the very likely possibility that they’ll die a horrible, bloody death. 

Then, finally... we come back to the group’s secrets.

As established, Robyn is calling Ironwood out on his own secret keeping because he just admitted aloud to having a secret. 100% dodged her suspicion  by Weiss’ timely arrival and Jacques getting outed as a traitor, then went ahead and shot himself in the foot. Sorry. I just really can’t stress that enough. Anyway, she’s homing in like a bloodhound, backing him into another corner, and this is the animation they decide to give us.

This is why I haven’t liked the group since mid-Volume 5. Because they’ve become reckless, hypocritical, often incredibly cruel people. Animation is a drawing. Someone had to decide and design this moment. Nothing is left to chance. So Rooster Teeth made a conscious decision to have Ruby almost-smiling in this moment. Looking pleased and happy at the very least. She’s still keeping her own secrets and is taking pleasure in the fact that Ironwood’s are coming to light. This is the exactly the same behavior we saw with Ozpin and (to a lesser extent) Cordovin. The satisfaction this group derives from either seeing or handing out what they perceive as another’s just desserts while they themselves are committing the same or worse sins. Ruby should not look happy here in the same way that she should not have pushed for Ironwood to sacrifice Mantle in the name of finishing a doomed project. And as we’ll see in a moment, she shouldn’t be giggling with Oscar over the shared damage they’ve caused.

At this point everyone is ganging up on Ironwood. Yes, including Oscar. As a preface to all this, I love my farm boy. Just not how Rooster Teeth has been writing my farm boy. Because this is what I meant at the very start of this recap. Oscar and Ruby’s speeches here are only inspiring if you choose to ignore the fact that, in this moment, they’re still keeping their own secrets. I honestly thought Oscar was going to come clean when he approached Ironwood leaning against the wall. Instead he offers his advice which is, straight up, to just stop keeping secrets. Says the kid who is still keeping secrets. Oscar even goes so far as to say that “You already knew that wasn’t the right course” which is the biggest load of BS I’ve heard on this show so far. No! No one agreed that was the wrong path. You all explicitly decided that keeping secrets was the right thing to do. They’re telling him he was wrong to choose the thing they benefited from and continue to use to their advantage in this scene.“Tell the truth,” Oscar insists, still not telling the truth. “You’re not alone,” Ruby adds when she hasn’t trusted Ironwood once this season. This moment is manipulation because Oscar and Ruby both are trying to convince Ironwood to do something using false personas. Ironwood believes that he should listen to them precisely because he thinks they’ve achieved the very thing they’re demanding of him: sharing all their secrets. He thinks they’re models to look up to. When in fact Ironwood is the only one who has ever managed this demand by sharing his plan with them, completely of his own volition. 

The fact that they decide to tell him a few minutes later doesn’t matter. They already got what they wanted and the damage is done. I mean that literally. By manipulating Ironwood into spilling the beans, they’ve created a situation where Ironwood revealed the Salem secret to the council and Robyn but not her immortality. Ironwood himself only learns of that afterward, back in the dining room, and you can see the utter devastation on his face.

Is it still a good idea to tell two highly suspect council members and a woman who has been his semi-enemy about Salem given that she can’t be killed? Who knows. We don’t get to tackle that question because Ironwood wasn’t given a choice. It’s too late. He was pressured and manipulated into a making a huge decision without all the necessary information (which, for the record, is still not the same thing as the group deciding to help people and do the job they signed up for without knowing about Salem). Even if nothing horrible results from these three people now knowing about Salem, Oscar and Ruby have created more problems. We hear the council woman ask fearfully whether Ironwood can defeat Salem. The only thing holding them together is the hope that they can still win with their army... but they can’t. What’s Ironwood going to do with that expectation now? Will he tell them about her immortality too? Risk what they might do in response? Don’t you think this is something he should have known about weeks ago, Ruby? “You should know before you make any… sacrifices” Oscar tells Ironwood, completely ignoring the fact that he already made sacrifices. Mantle was a sacrifice. Those resources were a sacrifice. Telling the council was a sacrifice. Ironwood’s ongoing hope that he could finally end this, stretched out far longer than it had to be, was a sacrifice.

What kills me is the casual nature of it all. There was no catalyst here. Nothing new happened to convince the group that they can suddenly trust Ironwood. If they’re willing to trust him now that means they trusted him before and just didn’t tell him because... they didn’t. The defense of “He’s unstable, who knows what he might do to them and Mantle once he finds out the truth!” was a smokescreen the whole time. Because nothing changed. Ironwood said and did nothing in the last fifteen minutes to suddenly cause the revelation of, “Oh my god. We can trust him. Now we finally know we’re safe to reveal this secret.” They could have done it on day two and avoided so much strife. Like, you know, the situation in Mantle that Nora felt the need to scream at Ironwood about. Maybe if you’d told him his plan was doomed he might not have taken so many resources from the people, given that he’d have known there was no longer a justification for that. You had the power to fix the problems you blamed him for from the get-go.

Combine this with Oscar and Ruby’s horrible conversation. Sure, the rosegarden shippers are thrilled, but beyond the fact that I’m personally not shipping Ruby with a boy housing her 1,000 year old headmaster, that (once again) was not the correct emotion to apply to this moment. They both come across as horrendously callous by laughing and giggling through the decision to finally tell Ironwood. It’s not like these secrets have driven this entire volume and are about to absolutely devastate him or anything. Why would you have a serious conversation about this? Why express even an ounce of sympathy and regret for what you’ve done? Nah, better to jump around and give each other thumbs up. Act so proud that you’ve randomly decided to come clean, like you deserve praise for this. Kids, am I right, Marrow?

Seriously. This is how these two treat the situation vs. what the situation actually is.

Which in a horrible way is fitting because there are zero consequences for all this. (Cue my shock...) Ironwood isn’t mad about any of this. He jokes with Oscar! “No more surprises, alright?” Given that RWBY releases weekly and thus there’s plenty of time between episodes, I feel like people forget the expectations they developed months back. The more optimistic side of the fandom (god bless you all, you’ve got more hope than me) keeps insisting that eventually the group’s new behavior will lead to repercussions, but time and time again Rooster Teeth tells us they won’t. Not for putting Argus in danger. Not for stealing an airship. Not for keeping the secrets Ozpin was crucified over a whole volume for. And that’s still going. Alongside Qrow’s talk with Ruby, Ironwood is given the space to blame Ozpin again---“Why? Why would Oz keep this from us?”---and has no desire to blame the group for doing the exact same thing. Oscar is allowed to go, “Sorry! We just didn’t trust you” but the same justification out of Ozpin’s mouth doesn’t fly, despite the fact that he had a hundred more reasons not to trust a bunch of teens. The level of hypocrisy in this episode is just staggering. We all watched Ruby tell Ozpin’s lies and went, “Oh yeah. This is going to come back to bite them” and it didn’t. 

There is nothing the group can do to get in trouble, or even a reprimand for. Anything and everything is twisted to praise them:

Destroyed precious military equipment (which this episode’s attack shows that the world desperately needs) and nearly get people killed by attacking an ally? You get a free ride to Atlas.

Broke Atlas’ laws by stealing their property and then avoiding the police? You get hugs from your sister and early huntsmen licenses.

You tell the exact same lies you demonized your headmaster for? You’re so much better than he is and I’m so proud of you.

Keep secrets from Ironwood, making a horrible situation even worse? Haha no more surprises in the future please!

And yes, this also includes: Going behind everyone’s back to spill information to Robyn? No one will even find out you did that. I’ve seen a post going around with people expressing how pleased they are that Robyn didn’t rat Blake and Yang out. That’s the level of bias the fandom and the writers are working under. The group gets away with everything because they’re the protagonists. Everyone adores them unconditionally. At this point I think they could join with Salem and people would insist that it’s the smartest and most badass move they could possibly make. Fans and the writing would praise them for that too. 

Ugh. Sorry for the level of salt in this recap. For the record I am glad that others are able to enjoy all of these moments. I just can’t. Oh boy I can’t. 

Alright. Close to wrapping up now. A series of smaller things: Oscar has another moment where he draws on Ozpin’s memories of Atlas being built. “You say that like you were there---” Ironwood says. We’ve spent a lot of time theorizing about the merge but in light of this episode... are we really expecting an explanation? RWBY hasn’t adequately explained dust vs. magic, or Qrow’s semblance, or why we should be rooting for heroes who do everything their perceived opponents do. Why would we expect them to explain something as complicated as this merge either? I think we should just expect a continually wishy-washy situation that changes based on the whims of the plot.

Ren and Nora have a moment on the airship that sparks another charged look between Blake and Yang. Are we ever going to tackle the huge concerns Ren had a few episodes back before they were silenced with a kiss? Does he or anyone else know that Oscar spilled the beans? For that matter, did Oscar admit that there’s still a question left in the relic? Does Ironwood actually want to lock it up now like they should have from the start? Did he explain precisely why Ozpin ran off? These answers remain lost to the void.

Jaune looks like he’s going to be sick after the airship is attacked. Nice throwback to episode one.

Whitley is devastated by his father’s arrest, truly alone now. He slinks off with Willow watching him go. Hopefully with Jacques out of the way she and Weiss (and possibly Winter) can start helping him. Show him how to connect with others in ways besides cruelty. 

The group then jumps out of the destroyed ship... but not before Elm and Harriet tease each other a bit. In a kind way. One might almost say... a friendly way...

Yeah these people aren’t friends. No way. What an absurd assumption. Will the show ever come back to that assertion, or will it remain another illogical way of insisting that the group is intrinsically better than everyone else they come into contact with? I’m betting on the latter.

Finally, we catch glimpses of a disguised Neo infiltrating the Schnee manor. After everyone leaves she returns to Cinder who says, “Oh, you’re back early. Tell me you’ve found what we’ve been looking for” and Neo gives an affirmative gesture. To which I respond with no emotion whatsoever because this episode has scorched me from the inside out.

1/10 with the 1 given because yay arresting Jacques. Everything else I’d happily put through a paper shredded. I’m gonna go cleanse my mind with more Witcher 3 now.

Until next week! Everyone start praying...

[reflectionsofacreator]

Ezio’s a Painter

I somehow kinda glossed over this during my ac2 and Brotherhood play throughs, mostly because I kept meaning to make a larger post about it, then kept putting it off. I guess that’s now. This is probably old news to a lot of people, but I wanted to write a post on it anyways. 

This is a researched theory, not explicitly confirmed, either via verbal or textual evidence. That being said, there is a mountain of worldbuilding evidence, if you go digging and give some thought to it. 

So early on in ac2, when you’re introduced to Ezio’s family, Maria Auditore, you hear this gem of a conversation as they walk through the city: 

Maria: Self expression is vital to understanding and enjoying life. You should find an outlet. Ezio: I have plenty of outlets.  Maria (dryly): I meant besides vaginas.  Ezio: Mother! 

During the outing, she leads him to meet Leonardo da Vinci, a family friend and local artist. This is the first time Ezio’s met Leonardo, and when Leo asks what Ezio intends to do with his life, Ezio says something about being “A banker, I suppose”, like he doesn’t really know what to do with his life. 

It isn’t until after the trial and murder of his father and brothers that Ezio truly becomes friends with Leonardo, and receives upgrades. It’s implied to take a few days, and Ezio doesn’t exactly have anywhere to go, so it’s likely that he ended up staying over at Leonardo’s while all of this went down, or over at Paola’s. It’s likely that Ezio took an interest in painting because of Leonardo, though this is never outright said. 

Now, Ezio being a painter isn’t touched upon at all until you get access to the Auditore Villa in Monteriggioni, and even then it’s not exactly called attention to. At most, you get the ability to wander around, and see Ezio’s room. In one of the corners is a painting of Ezio’s first victims, Uberto Alberti, the man directly responsible for the Auditore’s murder. 

Notice how it says “my”. 

This is something that’s actually happened in Ezio’s life. The Animus can only take so many shortcuts with his life, but the important things tend to stick there, in some way, shape, or form. Rebuilding Monteriggioni was important to Ezio, so it was incorporated as an economic mechanic. Painting was important, so we have portraits of the people Ezio’s killed. 

As ac2 progresses, Ezio’s room slowly fills up with more and more with portraits of the people he’s slain, all listed with a date of death, their name, and who they are. A few of them have personal descriptions, always written in first person, versus how the Animus uses second person to denote things. 

The language choices aren’t precisely significant in an earth shattering way, but it’s important enough to note it. It’s part of why I feel like these portraits are actually made by Ezio himself, instead of simply being commissioned-- the simple fact of the use of “my, I” etc. 

If you go downstairs in the villa, you can see an artist easel, as well as painting supplies. I, initially, thought maybe it was supplies for Leonardo, but at that point in 1476-8, Leonardo wasn’t living with the Auditores in their Villa. But they’re clearly there for a reason, meaning that someone in the Villa used them. This is the kind of environmental storytelling that I really enjoy, where there’s depth that you can dig for, but it’s not exactly the forefront of things. 

Additionally, Ezio’s home is filled with an art gallery, with whole rooms and halls dedicated to the stuff. This is true for Brotherhood even, after the loss of Monteriggioni, but the art gallery in the Tiber Island Hideout is much smaller. 

What’s interesting in ac2 is that most of the paintings that Ezio owns relate back to the stories of the gods, or of Adam and Eve, which is ironic considering the nature of the Assassin’s Creed backstory. Or it could be simply really subtle forshadowing, though of what I’m not sure. 

All the paintings that Ezio owns in Brotherhood, that aren’t his, are works from Raffaello Sanzio da Urbino, better known as Raphael. I checked -- all of them are by Raphael, whereas the ones in ac2 were from an assortment of artists, Leonardo among them. It just strikes me as a little odd that every single painting in his Brotherhood era gallery is by Raphael, but who am I to judge. Ezio’s just missing a statue from Michelangelo, and he’d have scored a Renaissance Trifecta. 

Ezio’s habit of painting his victims continues on into Brotherhood, where his targets are the focus of much larger paintings. His works in ac2 are roughly 2 feet at most, while the works in Brotherhood take up at least a whole wall’s worth.  

Another thing to notice is that the portraits in Brotherhood instead have more of an artistic look about them. Compare how all the portraits in ac2 look like simply in game renders with filters, versus how this painting of Lucrezia looks. 

Stylistically, the portraits in Brotherhood clash horribly with Raphael’s paintings, but I suspect that’s due to the artists taking more freedom with how they want to portray Ezio’s art. It’s much more modern than the time period would suggest his painting would be, but we ignore that because they’re cool looking. 

Ezio had nine paintings in base ac2, with the dlc adding on an extra two paintings, and sixteen subjects between all of them. Brotherhood has six paintings, and six subjects. Of the two groups, only one person is painted twice: Rodrigo Borgia. 

They both fit into the same sets as they’re painted in, with the first matching the other severe paintings, but I kinda feel like that’s more an art direction choice than a choice of Ezio as a painter/character. Obviously more thought was put into the Brotherhood paintings, so they have more life to them, and more detail, but even then, Rodrigo’s portrait doesn’t exactly stand out among the set. It’s still interesting to see the differences between the two, and kinda wonder at what they say. 

I’ll admit that the timing for Rodrigo’s first portrait is kind of ... odd? The attack on Monteriggioni happens almost directly after Ezio’s confrontation with Rodrigo, so there isn’t that much time for him to paint the man. I do feel that’s more of an issue with the games being made several years apart-- the player should get Rodrigo’s portrait after Ezio beats him at the end of ac2, and Brotherhood wouldn’t come out for another year or two. 

I kinda posit that Ezio painted the first one over the course of years, slowly, probably in the timeskips between sequences 12/13/14, and it wasn’t until Ezio beat the man at the end of ac2 that he considered it “finished” and put it up.

Admittedly I’m thinking of doing a series of posts where it’s just the various portraits, just because I can, and I kinda want to show them off. Maybe. 

Anyways Ezio’s a painter and I’m not going back on this. Take it as you will. 

[vivxwrites]

Three Years Later

*not my gif*

Word Count: 1816

Summary: You and Natasha reunite after being broken up for three years.

Warning: Angst (don't worry nothing about Endgame), Cheating

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Reader

A/N: This fic was requested by @xyttara and I hope you enjoy it! 

You had just gotten home from a three month mission and you couldn’t wait to see your girlfriend of two years, Natasha after being away. You couldn’t stop your leg from bouncing up and down during the debrief and you were struggling to pay attention. Fury called you out on your behavior a few times to which you gave him a sheepish look and did your best to focus. Your mind just kept racing and racing with thoughts of Natasha; you had to physically stop yourself from swooning a few times.

“Agent (Y/L/N),” Fury snapped at you. You whipped your head up to look at the commander, having been caught not paying attention again. He sighed, “Alright, get out of here. Go reunite with Romanoff or whatever the hell you’re itching to do.” 

You fought a blush at being caught before you responded to Fury, “Yes sir.” You tried not to flat out run from the conference room in your haste to see your girlfriend after three grueling months. Your mission had been quite simple really, just bust an arms deal, nothing you hadn’t done before during your time at S.H.I.E.L.D, but it had required days of careful stake outs and building up a cover for yourself. You had completed the mission with patience, speed, and ease, as you always did. 

You stepped into the elevator that would lead you to the apartment you shared with your long-term girlfriend. You gave the other occupants a nod and pressed the button for your floor. You were used to spending time apart from your girlfriend, her being an avenger and you being a high-ranking S.H.I.E.L.D agent caused the two of you to be apart more often than either of you would’ve liked. You and Nat had made the relationship work, the love you both felt for the other always prevailing. You supported each other through the stress and trauma of your jobs and you would safely say that you were more proud of your relationship with Nat than your accomplishments as an agent. The elevator dinged softly as the doors opened and revealed your floor. You stepped out and a feeling of giddiness washed over you. You approached your apartment door and smiled inwardly at finally being home. You put your hand on the scanner and the door unlocked and opened. 

‘That’s odd,’ you thought to yourself. You recalled all the other times you came home from a mission, having been met with Natasha flinging herself at you each time. She was nowhere to be seen and you walked through the rest of the house in search of her. When you approached your shared bedroom you found the door shut, which admittedly wasn’t weird in any way, but you felt a nagging feeling deep in your gut that something terrible awaited you on the other side of the door. 

You carefully pushed the door open, excitement pretty much gone all together, and heard muffled giggles coming from the bed. ‘Natasha must be wanting to surprise me’ you thought. You stepped through the threshold and felt your heart drop at the sight that met you. The first thing you noticed about the man on top of your girlfriend was his metal arm. Then you noticed his long shaggy hair and the fact that he and Natasha were both naked, in your bed, together. Your mind sneered at you, ‘She certainly surprised you didn’t she.” it taunted. They hadn’t noticed you and all you could muster up in your stupor was to stand in the doorway and gawk openly at them. You were feeling so many emotions at once that you couldn’t figure out which one you should be portraying in this situation. ‘Anger,’ your brain said, so you went with it. “Honey I’m home,” you taunted. They both whipped their heads to you and you heard Natasha let out a quiet “shit.” 

Bucky scrambled around to wrap the sheet around his lower half as Natasha threw on the first shirt she could find. It was his that she had put on and you seethed at the sight. She walked towards you slowly with both palms up, as if you were some sort of timid animal and that fueled your inner fire even more. You backed up and barked out, “Don’t even think about touching me and do not come any closer.” 

Natasha stopped right in her tracks and met your eyes, which were filled with anger and betrayal. “(Y/N), please baby. Please we can talk about this, it was just sex, babe, please, you have to believe me.” She was pleading with you frantically, but you ignored it. Her words flew all around you but not a single one went into your ear. You were too busy focusing on the sound of your heart breaking, slowly, as the situation finally sunk in. 

You felt like vomiting and tears rushed down your face. You looked at Natasha one final time and said, “Don’t get yourself killed Nat.” With that last statement you walked out of the apartment, continuing to ignore Nat’s pleas as you went. You stepped into the elevator and pushed the tears off of your face. You used the ride to compose yourself before you reached your destination. The elevator pinged again and you walked off in the direction of Fury’s office.

He was conversing with Maria Hill when you approached. “Director Fury,” you called out to him. He turned towards you, clearly surprised to see you. “I’d like to request a transfer, as soon as possible.

*Time Skip, 3 years later*

 You stepped out of the limo that had stopped in front of Stark Tower. The last thing you wanted was to attend some ridiculous banquet that Tony freaking Stark was hosting, you would’ve much rather been throwing yourself into work, as you had been doing for the past three years. You rolled your eyes, smoothed out your dress, and began the walk to the party. The invitation told you that you were permitted to bring a plus one, but truthfully, you had no one to invite. Your life post-Natasha was incredibly lonely and filled with work for S.H.I.E.L.D’s London Branch. At your new workplace, you stuck out like a sore thumb and were kind of an outcast. The agents only gave you sideways glances and you were labeled as the ‘American’ as soon as you had arrived. 

When you stepped into the party room you headed straight for the bar and ordered yourself a drink, already feeling stressed out. Fury had told you himself that he wanted your presence at this banquet, one being thrown for the success of your S.H.I.E.L.D. branch, and you had no choice but to go. You sighed inwardly and gulped down a sip of your drink. You found yourself watching the guests interact with each other and your eyes found those of one James Buchanan Barnes. He looked like he wanted to approach you but you sent him a tired look that screamed, ‘Just stay away from me.’ He listened like the good little soldier he was and you tore your eyes from his gaze, having had enough of looking at him. 

It wasn’t too long before Maria Hill had walked over to you and started up a conversation. You were glad to see her, and the two of you caught up on work things together. Hill had always been a friend of yours and you had actually missed her. The two of you chatted until she was being whisked away by another group of agents and you smiled fondly as she left. She had always been popular. 

You grabbed a refill of your drink and walked over to the balcony to look out at the view. You had your back turned when you heard footsteps approaching and didn’t bother to turn your head. Even after three years you hadn’t forgotten what her quiet yet confident steps sounded like. 

“Hey,” she said as she stood next to you. The air was tense around the two of you and the sight of her sent chills through your body. Three years and she still had the same affect on you. 

“Hi, Nat,” you greeted back. You certainly weren’t going to be the one to clear the air first, always one to be stubborn. She looked beautiful with her lips painted red to match her hair and dress and the sight brought back a ton of memories. Damn Natasha Romanoff and her good looks. 

“I missed you.” She spoke quietly and you could hear how unsure of herself she was in her voice. 

“I missed you too,” you admitted sincerely. Yes, she had hurt you, but you still loved her. The years without her made you realize that and you hated yourself for it. Why couldn’t you just move on like a normal person? You curled into yourself protectively and gave her a small, quick smile that didn’t reach your eyes. 

“(Y/N),” she began and you steeled yourself for the conversation that was coming. She continued, “Sleeping with Bucky was a mistake. I have a history with him and I was too weak to resist temptation.” She sniffled as she looked at you and spoke again, “I feel so guilty for what I did to you. I ruined an amazing thing and I will always hate myself for that. Seeing you again today has made me realize one thing and it’s that I still love you, (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”

You sucked in a breath at her admission as you fully processed her words. She still loved you. “I still love you too Nat.” Your voice broke as you tried to get out your next thought, “But I’m scared. You really hurt me and I don’t think we can just jump right back into what we had. I can’t handle being hurt like that again but I love you too much to just give up and throw all of my feelings for you away.” As you finished, a few tears rolled down your cheeks and you waited for Natasha’s next move. 

She slowly wrapped you into a hug and hid her face in your neck. “I will never do that again. If you’d like, we can go back to dating first and start from the beginning again. Whatever you think is best, we’ll do. We can go as slow as you want, even go see a counselor. I’ll do anything just to be with you again.”

You laughed softly at Nat’s words. “We don’t need to see a counselor, Nat. I think I’d like to start from the beginning though. It’s best that we rebuild our trust.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do,” she promised, and you were finally home.

A/N: Hi! I don’t really have much to say today. Feel free to check out my stuff, send in requests, or flat out ignore me. Also, I think you’re all awesome. Thanks, Viv. :) (I almost forgot the smiley face)

[piccolina-mina]

I cannot speak for anyone else, and I'm not trying to. I can only speak for myself as an observer and a friend. And sometimes I feel really bad for bisexual fans, especially the bisexual men who are out, open, or quietly observing, and still active in the RNM fandom.

There used to be many bisexual men who shared their thoughts, but a few I remember left fandom. There are many women, but it still comes with a pressure and expectation to only appreciate specific parts of the series or face erasure if they don't comply.

It must be gratifying to have a strong bisexual character let alone a male character like Michael. You don't see it often at all. Bi characters are rare and bi men are like unicorns on TV, and how they are represented can vary. But one thing that has been consistent and obvious is that Michael is a character Carina has invested in a lot.

A lot of effort and care goes into how he's portrayed as a bisexual man. She seems very in tune and careful with how she wants to depict that, for better and worse, and sometimes at the expense of other aspects of the show that require sensitivity, awareness, and care too.

And I have seen how important that is to many bisexual fans but particularly bi men. But I can only imagine how difficult it has to be when you're seeing your representation onscreen -- you're seeing yourself reflected -- and you constantly see it regarded as "bad bi rep" usually over trivial things.

Michael is confident, out, unapologetic. He has an interesting story of presumably when he realized he was bisexual. He has those moments of insecurity, but he's consistent. And he's never treated as less than or not "manly" or anything like that by the majority of the characters -- the important characters.

His Bisexuality is never treated like a character flaw by the others.

His friends, acquaintances, siblings, and love interests don't look down on him for being bisexual. It's not the sole thing that drives his arc, or the only reason he's "relevant." He's a multi-dimensional character who happens to be bisexual instead of "the token bisexual character."

It seems pretty damn awesome.

But sometimes I imagine it has to be hard to see all of these factors and then see the frequent takes that he's "poor bi rep."

And it has to be invalidating that only one of his relationships matters and the other one is constantly torn apart.

Isn't that part of the "pick a side" frustration bisexuals face way too often? Why unwittingly perpetuate it so much?

Isn't the whole idea supposed to be that both of these relationships are valid and meaningful in different ways, and that's OK?

On the show you have Alex and Maria, and neither of them make Michael feel like crap because he's bisexual. Alex doesn't treat him like he's less queer for dating and sleeping with women. He doesn't shame him (something that has been known to happen with some popular queer ships like Calzona on Grey's Anatomy, for example) for being bi.

Any of the issues they have, have absolutely nothing to do with Michael's sexuality. That has to be refreshing.

And Maria doesn't judge Michael for being bisexual either. All fandoms as a whole, in general, tend to fetishize and/or love mlm ships, but as we know, irl wlw are fetishized and revered more, usually by straight men who think a woman's bisexuality is for their sexual pleasure, gratification or chance to have a threesome.

In real life, it's obviously difficult for bi men dating etc. For every Maria, there's a woman who only thinks she's a "beard" or pitstop until her bi lover is gay, or feels insecure that she can't give him something someone else can, or a plethora of other misconceptions and ignorance.

But Maria isn't like that. None of the drama surrounding her relationship with Michael had anything to do with him being bisexual. It was never about the parts of who he slept with, but her relationship with who he slept with.

And to hit home that Michael being bisexual didn't make him less desirable or attractive to her, they kissed after the truth came out. And they both enjoyed it.

People hate that and tear it apart, but I imagine that was also something important to show.

And then, fandom, fandom from all walks of life and different genders and sexualities find this bisexual character attractive and desirable.

It has to be messed up as a bi male fan to see part of the fandom, a great deal of them straight women be shamed or ridiculed or referred to as homophobic for liking Michael and Maria.

It has to be messed up for bi female fans to have their sexuality completely invalidated because they like miluca. To be called homophobic or biphobia despite being bi themselves for liking Miluca.

Or to have their love of this ship and this representation that is important to them reduced to them just wanting to self-insert with Michael (I mean, hey, what if it's about self-inserting with Maria? Because that's what a hell of a lot of queer miluca fans are thinking about).

Or to have them criticized for it if that's the case, but it's widely accepted that bisexual and straight fans can thirst over the two men just fine.

What is wrong about thirsting after one or both parties of miluca in equal measure as one would Malex? And doing it with them as a couple rather than individually? Why is that only an option with them separate but not with them together as it is with Malex?

Like, a (so far) straight female character is criticized for having feelings for this bisexual man and straight female fans are criticized for liking miluca, or hell, self-inserting with miluca, and finding this male character, who happens to be bisexual, attractive and sexy.

Bi female fans are criticized for liking miluca or self-inserting either way with Maria and Michael. Their sexuality is always questioned for enjoying this ship as if they're somehow less queer for enjoying it.

No one ever considers that they're enjoying the hell out of thirsting over Maria via this relationship. It IS Maria after all.

Michael is hot. Maria is stunning. Only one of these relationships is giving queer miluca fans Maria, right? Why is enjoying that via their relationship not an acceptable option? For bi fans of any gender? For straight fans?

To Maria, to the fans of the miluca ship, Michael's bisexuality doesn't matter or make him less than, or less attractive. He's accepted and cared about and desired.

And some people read that as latching on to a straight presenting ship and thus being inherently homophobic and biphobic, instead of seeing, and appreciating, and enjoying that there are no qualms, no judgment, no prejudice, no second guessing about shipping a presumably straight woman with a bisexual man.

His sexuality never hinders him from being shipped with anyone. It never stops him from being desired. It doesn't stop fans from enjoying and self-inserting either. He didn't stop being viable when it was revealed that he was bisexual.

And if people can see that and respond that way to a character they love, then maybe it breaks the stigma about dating, falling in love with or sleeping with bisexual men. Maybe people can apply that to real life too.

And that's the power of representation in media, and how influential it can be. That's something special and important too.

It's not something that happens easily, and like with any disenfranchised group, experiences are always different. It's not always the same for bi men versus bi women. Intersectionality comes into play. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that just a basic understand of people and their experiences.

Ironically, both experiences by both male and female bi fans are being invalidated and/or erased here often when it comes to this, which is very unfortunate and sad to see.

I mean, I can't shake the concept of someone's experience battling being rejected or invalidated, and then watching something where someone like you isn't being rejected or invalidated for their sexuality, and many of the viewers and fans aren't rejecting or invalidating this character's sexuality ... but then seeing some of those fans are rejected and invalidated for enjoying one or both of this characters' relationships. 🤔

Their acceptance, not tolerance, their acceptance of bisexuality is rejected and criticized. It doesn't make sense.

And yeah, it's a love triangle. But it's a love triangle between a bi man, a gay man, and a woman. Something you do not see often at all. And sexuality isn't the root of the tension or conflict. Nowhere. Not once.

It's played out like any other love triangle. It's normalized because the whole point is that bisexual people being attracted to more then one gender is normal.

They're subjected to the same things as everyone else, including love to hate love triangles.

I don't know. This isn't even in response to anything specific, it's just, sometimes, I really sympathize for the bisexual fans and friends, and I really feel bad for the bi men in the RNM fandom who thoroughly enjoy having this representation and enjoy both relationships and the depiction of what it's like having feelings for two different people for different reasons who then see parts of that which they appreciate and make them feel seen always ripped apart so often.

Man, it must feel like A LOT sometimes.

But again, I'm not presuming to know how anyone feels, and I certainly can't speak for them, but I would be lying if I said it didn't cross my mind on occasion.

[auroraknux]

Decided to make yet another “Incorrect Shadow Boom Quotes” post. As always, I don’t remember where most of these quotes originate from (I steal them from various incorrect quotes blogs), and some of them have been tweaked a little.

I just enjoy collecting quotes that fit the characters, I guess. :P (Though, it has given me some of my ideas for how I want to portray the characters in this AU.)

Sonic: You're flirting with me?

Knuckles: Something like that.

Sonic: Finally! Do it some more.

Knuckles: So wait, Rouge kissed you and you said "thank you"?

Shadow: Yes.

Knuckles: Well, that was very polite.

Shadow: I don't hate you anymore.

Sonic: No?

Shadow: No, though I did imagine at least 20 different ways to remove your head from your body.

Sonic: Really? Which one looked the best?

Shadow: Hedge clippers. Really dull ones.

Sonic: No, you wouldn’t want it to go quick, would you?

Rouge: I need your help.

Shadow: Okay, who are we killing? I won’t kill kids, that’s a rule. That rule is negotiable if the kid is a dick, though.

Shadow: (talking about Rouge) That’s my girlfriend, suckers!

Amy: That’s your wife.

Shadow: My wife! Even better!

Rouge: You’re pretty cute when you’re nice.

Shadow: Well, what am I when I’m not nice?

Rouge: Hot as fuck.

Amy: (talking about Sonic and Knuckles) This is the gayest thing I’ve ever seen. Truly, the gayest. I wouldn’t even act like that, and I’m dating a woman.

Shadow: Rouge, can you turn the light on?

Rouge: I don’t need to Shadow, you’re the only light I need in my life.

Shadow: Darling, that’s really sweet but I can’t see.

Sonic: [mentally] Wait, is he into me? Quick, make a bad joke and see if he laughs.

Sonic: [aloud] Did you hear the one about the skeleton who couldn’t go to the party? He had no body to go with!

Knuckles: [laughs] That’s really funny.

Sonic: …

Sonic: [mentally] Well, that’s not a fair test. That joke’s hilarious.

Rouge: Don’t buy flowers for your girlfriend. They don’t want that. Buy them swords! SWORDS ARE WHAT WOMEN WANT.

Rouge: I would greatly prefer a bouquet of twelve katanas over a bouquet of twelve roses any day.

Amy: I'm a lesbiab

Amy: Lesbiam

Amy: Less Bien

Amy: Girls

Sonic: It's okay, take your time.

Amy: [to Sticks] You’re gonna be my woman.

Knuckles: We can make this work! We're Romeo and Juliet!

Sonic: It didn't work for Romeo and Juliet. That play ends in a tragic double suicide.

Knuckles: That's how it ends? Why do people like it so much?

Shadow: We don’t use curse words in this house. *gestures to Tails* There are children present.

Sonic, in the distance: FUCK!

(After Sonic joins the group)

Shadow: Alright, usual formation!

Sonic: What's the usual formation?

Knuckles: Varies.

Sonic: How can the usual formation vary?!

Amy: Is the whole village gay?

Sonic: Not yet.

Knuckles: I was voted Most Confident in my Low Self-Esteem support group!

Sonic: There are no straight men, just men who haven't met me.

Sonic, about Knuckles: There’s a guy over there who looks like he can bench-press 300 lb…and I’d like to be 77 of them.

Amy: Most people that meet me don’t know that I’m gay.

Sonic: Blind and deaf people know you’re gay.

Shadow: Dead people know you’re gay.

Amy: Sticks, did you know I was gay when you met me?

Sticks: Buster knew.

Sonic: Where've you been, dude? I've been trying to find you all day!

Shadow: Oh, what a coincidence, I've been trying to ignore you all day.

Sonic: (to Shadow) I'm here, I'm queer. Get used to it.

Tails: Hey Rouge, I--

Rouge: Shh, I'm listening to music.

Tails: But there's no sound coming out?

Rouge: Listen closely and you'll hear it.

*Shadow laughing in the other room*

Rouge: There it is.

Shadow: I am offended. I am angry. I am very tired. So I'm gonna take a nap, but when I wake up, oh, you are in for it.

Shadow: [four hours later] How dare you?

Sonic [drowsy]: Can I lay on your shoulder?

Knuckles: Sure, whatever.

Sonic [sniffling Knuckles' neck]: You smell like... something nice. Vanilla maybe. It is good. I like it. I could be here all day and never get tired of it.

Knuckles: *blushes furiously*

Rouge: [watching some kids playing] I keep picturing our own kid in there, he'd be the best one.

Shadow: I think you meant "she".

Rouge: He.

Shadow: Either way Rouge, we've been over this. Kids are afraid of us.

Rouge: Yeah but why?

[Two kids run close to them and gasp]

Kid: Are they gonna eat us?

Shadow: Hi kids.

Kids: Ahhh! [both run away]

Shadow: I even smiled this time.

Sonic: I just want to be friends.

Knuckles: Okay!

Sonic: Plus a little extra.

Sonic: Also, I love you.

Amy: You all think I enjoy being a mother hen to you all?!

Everyone: ...

Amy: Okay fine, it's like crack to me.

?: For self-defense training, I'm going to pretend to be a burglar, and you two have to act wisely.

Maria: Okay.

Shadow: Sure.

?: If you want to live, give me all your money.

Maria: Bold of you to assume that I have money.

Shadow: Bold of you to assume that I want to live.

?: ...

Sonic: I'm cold.

Shadow: Like my heart.

Sonic: Now is not the time to debate which one of us is more dead inside.

Tails: I could strangle you.

Knuckles: You aren’t tall enough.

Tails: You’ve sunk low enough for me to reach.

Kidnapper: [on phone] We have your son.

Sonic: I don't have a son.

Kidnapper: [getting frustrated] Then who the heck just asked for chocolate milk with a straw and made us cut the crust off his PB&J?

Sonic: Oh god.

Kidnapper: What?

Sonic: You have my husband.

Rouge: [flirting] You have beautiful eyes.

Shadow: Thanks, I need them to see.

Amy: Tails, how long does it take until you start hallucinating from sleep deprivation?

Tails: I think--

Shadow: Seventy two hours.

Tails: How do you--

Shadow: There’s a clown behind you.

Amy: Knuckles, would you do me the honor of becoming my son-in-law?

Knuckles: Did you just propose to Sonic FOR me?

Amy: Someone had to do it.

Sonic: You have no idea what I'm capable of.

Shadow: Don't take it personally, but I feel like I'm being threatened by a cupcake.

Sonic: *looking in a mirror trying to practice self-love* You're doing great, you stupid bitch.

Amy: My sexuality doesn't define me.

Sticks: Hey, how are you?

Amy: Gay.

[rosesmith18]

(PnF) Headcanon #7 Thomarie Nitpicks #1 Bridgette

The next couple of post will be centered around some critics I have with both the ship Thomarie as a whole as well as the characters evolved in it, and their general world. For those who don't know the ship Thomarie is centered around (OC)Maria Flynn & (OC)Thomas Fletcher. I will mention this again at the end of the post, but more about the canonical versions of these characters can be found on angelus19 & sam-ely-ember deviantart(Thomas Belongs to Melty64). If you can not tell I will not be working with a lot of the canon information about these characters as I'm not really in to it-as I will explain with the next couple post-but the fact remains I did not create these characters. Critic #1: Bridgette(Bridgette belongs to Orthgirl123 on DeviantArt) Okay, it's best to start with the longest post as to get it out of the way. I HATE Bridgette as written in the MnT(Marie & Thomas) Universe. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, and I am not trying to bash the character herself. I am talking completely in the context of her role in MnT. She is written as nothing, but a generic secondary love interest from a bad teen romcom. I read the post her creator made about her, and it gives the character a lot of potential that is never used. The rundown is that Bridgette's dad went MIA(Missing in Action) when she was around nine or something, so her mom remarries meaning Bridgette has a step-dad & new brother. Bridgette says in that post that she had a good life with nothing to complain about, yet she goes on about how she hides her 'real self' out of fear, and ends up coming off as a jerk to everyone around her. Again I do not hate the character, she has potential, but not in the way her creator tries to portray. Because I hate to break it to you, but girl if you come off as a massive jerk, you're not pretending, you are one. Like look, I get we all can be jerks by accident sometimes, but that doesn't mean you weren't a jerk, and the people you were a jerk to have the right to miffed about it. See what Bridgette has is a classic case of 'Victims Complex', she believes she has a right to act this way towards people, because she was hurt once. She wants the people around her to feel bad for her, and thinks her hurt garners her the right to be excused of her mistakes, when everyone else gets punished. So, do I feel bad for Bridgette? No. As a victim myself I can't feel bad for someone who uses their status as a victim to exploit the kindness and understanding of other people just so they can get away with not returning that kindness by being a massive jerk. Does this make her a bad character? Not at all. I think this type of personality has great potential, but it needs to be recognized for what it is first instead of sugar coating it to make a bland 'relatable' character. Which brings me back to the problem with her in MnT. In MnT Bridgette is portrayed as a a jerk whose actually really kind on the inside, and when Thomas accidentally sees that kindness, he accepts her invitation to go on a date. There she tells him her 'sad' backstory to garner sympathy from Thomas which works, and they become closer cause he's also a 'jerk' at times due to his past. By the end, Thomas chooses Marie over Bridgete causing the girl to go into a fit about how nothing in life goes her way, and Thomas comforting her with kind words. This, all of this, is BULLCRAP! Let's break this down one by one. First problem, being nice to ONE person does not excuse being mean to HUNDREDS on a daily bases. Secondly, no one goes out with the biggest jerk at their high school just cause they learned the person has the ability to be the bare minimum of a decent human being. Thirdly, using your sad backstory to garner sympathy when you know you've been a massive jerk is manipulative, and funny enough usually garners the exact opposite in real life. I've never met a nice guy whose tried to do that, and didn't instantly get blocked. Fourthly, Thomas' rude behavior is nothing to Bridgette's, they're incomparable, but I will compare them anyway. Thomas occasionally ignores people when they're talking to him, and on one or two occasions has given someone the finger. Bridgete started rumors about multiple people at her school(including Marie) that caused these kids to be taunted mercilessly by their classmates until they refused to come to school again. Yes, Thomas did try to turn the citizens of Danville into a mob of criminals that attacked each other(See the fanfic Monster on angelus19  deviantart. Warning it is only in Spanish), but he was nine, had been hit by a Emotion Enhancer(Look up the definition of enhance), and had been disappointed by his dad and annoyed by Marie all in the span of like half an hour. I think he gets a pass. Fifthly, the idea that Bridgete should be instantly forgiven after have a tantrum over losing to a girl she started horrible rumors about. And lastly, the idea that THOMAS of all people forgave her. I mean look I know in the canon Thomas is like just a brooding emo, but this boy tried to turn his own father into a criminal in Monster, and yet he harbors goodwill towards a random bully who started rumors about his crush? With that out of the way, let us proceed to the revision paragraph for this critic. How do we improve this character and story? Well, are goal is to make Bridgette if anything a realistic character which means she must have her own goals that make sense in the context of her past and personality. Those goals can be outlandish, but she should have some realistic ones on occasion. She should be bound to the rules of reality as well as her own society. Her actions must always have consequences of equal measure whether her actions are good or bad. She must be the norm not the exception, and those around her should not differ from their established character, merely on the basis that she exist. In summary, we don't want Bridgete to be special, because no one in life is special. Even Marie & Thomas shouldn't be special(more about this critic later). Yes, these characters should all be different, but the universe shouldn't show favoritism, because that means the creator shows favoritism which is not relatable. The creators of Phineas & Ferb are a great example of making the main characters unique, but not special in comparison to those around them. Every character has a talent, interest, goal, and even flaw unique to them. And, the only time someone is seen as above reality-the rule of equal consequence-is by other characters who don't understand the whole story. This makes even simple one or two off characters memorable for all the right reasons(ex. Any of Doofs ex-girlfriends.) Bridgette is not memorable, because she's a good character, she memorable because she's put above the other characters whenever she's around. In all my reading experiences with Bridgete I've never felt like I choose to focus on her because I really liked or related to her, I instead always felt like she was forced into my focus every other line of dialogue. I don't want to hate Bridgette, if I wanted to hate Bridgette I wouldn't be writing an entire critic about how she has WASTED potential. I would just rant about how she has NO potential. Alright, we've made it to the advice portion of the critic a.k.a the last paragraph of this post. In this paragraph I'm going to share the changes I've made to Bridgette in my own stories in a summarized manner. I will explain why I made these changes and the benefits they have on the character and story. Firstly, I changed the reason for Bridgette's interest in Thomas. In the story 'Who I Really Am' by Orthgirl123 on DeviantArt she writes that Bridgette didn't like Thomas originally, but just kinda started to like him. This is not only boring, but also makes no sense. She just...starts liking him? That's kinda not how people work. So, instead I came up with the idea that Thomas & Maria built something in class that backfired resulting in Bridgette breaking her arm. This leads to Thomas & Maria having to help Bridgete until her arm heals. Because of Bridgette's status as a bully not many people like her and no one is nice to her, so Thomas' kindness mixed with Bridgette's insecurities about her dad being gone result in what most would call 'Daddy Issues'. This change does many things, for starters it establishes a reason for Bridgette's feelings that make sense in the context of her character, secondly it establishes Bridgette delusional mental state. Bridgette being established as delusional is important for her arc. You see if we establish that Bridgette is oblivious to the plights of others, blinded by her own pain making her unable to see the error of her ways, we allow her to be cornered. Instead of being able to say she did a bad thing and just apologize for it which is unsatisfying when your someone who bullied a girl into basically a depressed state. Bridgette will be confronted leading to the breaking of her delusions. This will allow Bridgette to be blinded by confusion as well as denial for a short period before she spills her guts about what she did out of the new found unbearable guilt. Her broken delusional state allows Bridgette's subconscious to eat away at her in a way no punishment could. This character arc becomes even better when we tie to loose threads together. In the MnT canon universe Maria's school stalker takes her depressed state as an opportunity to make his stalking known to her hoping she will be desperate enough to accept his feelings. But, in my personal headcanon Bridgette is the one who tells the school stalker about the situation and encourages him to pursue Maria. This may sound extreme at first, but remember that Bridgette's horrible behavior is usually a fleeting comment. Even Maria hides her pain when baring with the insults Bridgette's rumors have incited others to sling Maria's way. These facts make it difficult for the readers to comprehend the pain Bridgette is really inflicting on these people to the extent at which they truly exist by making them seem unreal or a drifting matter with little effect. This portrayal of the effect Bridgette has on people also makes it more difficult for Bridgette herself to comprehend what she's truly doing to people. To Bridgette they are just words-that as a bully-she has had to endure plenty of times. She doesn't sympathize with or even pity the people she hurts, because they feel detached from her life-like her comments, a fleeting name on the wind. So, if we have Bridgette do something that has such a massive effect, like enticing a stalker to harass someone, we turn that fleeting name into a news story. We don't just make Maria a girl Bridgette started a hurtful rumor about, we make Maria a name on her tv, just like Bridgette's father. We don't just make Bridgette a bully who said horrible things about people, we make Bridgette a suspect in an assault and harassment case. We put faces to names and bring the consequences outside the school bubble that protected Bridgette for so long. But, what really breaks Bridgette's delusions is Thomas. In MnT canon Thomas learns Bridgette can be a decent human being, tries to make her a replacement for Maria, and watches Bridgette scream about never being good enough, and feels pity for her, forgiving her for making Maria(and others)depressed. In my headcanon, Thomas finds himself harassed by Bridgette after her arm heals. She never stops trying to coerce a date out of him which Thomas is both not used to, and does not appreciate. She learns of Thomas' feelings for Maria, and tells him she is better then Maria so he should pick her, but Thomas only responds that if she is aware of his feeling she should give up before she hurts herself, he won't play games with her. And, when Thomas learns that Bridgette is the reason the stalker pursued Maria he does not let Bridgette throw a tantrum then forgive her. He makes it known she's crossed a line, and if she doesn't find herself back on it, she'll be the one at the tail end of his gun, not that stalker. In this scene Thomas breaks Bridgette's delusions by making it clear that he is not someone to be fond over and obtained. He and Maria are people with lives outside of playing the school hierarchy game Bridgette has concocted in all her years of turning the school into her consequence free paradise. He puts his foot down, something no one has ever done to Bridgette, and teaches her that their are worse things than petty popularity contest outside those school walls. And, if she doesn't sort herself out she's gonna step on the wrong peoples shoes. These warns strike a fear in Bridgette she's never felt before, but also slams her into denial. Thomas leaves her to think about what she did, and when a day or two passes of Thomas completely ignoring her. She lets out her confused emotions on Maria right before the school play when the two girls are alone. This is were her abandonment issues from the fanfic that I haven't mentioned come into play. It's Bridgette being ignored by the one guy she believed could replace her dad that triggers her fear of abandonment leading to her breaking down in front of Maria. She leaves the play before Maria can say anything, but the two meet a week into the new summer, and Maria confronts Bridgette. In the MnT canon Bridgette has her outburst in front of Maria & Thomas before being forgiven and giving up peaceful, for some reason happy with herself despite learning nothing as she's faced only the miniscule consequence of not getting the guy she likes and having to settle for Maria's cousin Xavier. In my headcanon, Maria is the one who confronts Bridgette who is still hurting from what happened with Thomas. Maria takes Bridgette and Thomas somewhere they can talk despite Thomas' disinterest in the idea. There Maria makes it clear what Bridgette did-both the rumor and stalker-were beyond horrible, but she can see Bridgette is also hurting. At this point Maria & Thomas are together, and Maria tells Bridgette that she will try to forgive Bridgette, if Bridgette promises to admit to spreading rumors about people, and apologizes to her victims directly. Bridgette accepts hesitantly and is helped by Maria to make a change. The two eventually develop a friendship after Bridgette starts getting therapy again, and Thomas does eventually stop ignoring Bridgette. In my headcanon, Xavier never had feelings for Bridgette. Because, yes Bridgette is a redeemable character, but not enough that I or anyone should want to see her related to Maria. In summary, these are my thoughts on the character Bridgette and the general storyline she is involved in. If I ever post a complete story about this exact topic I will let you know. I want to make it clear I do not harbor any ill-will towards the creator of Bridgette or the creators of Maria & Thomas. I just don't enjoy their story telling or how they portray these characters on most occasions. If you yourself have any thoughts on my changes or have an idea of a change you would add, let me know. If you want to read or see any art involving these character's check out their respective creators DeviantArt. More post about critics for the MnT Universe will be coming out soon. *Disclaimer: While I have made changes ranging from small tweaks to drastic alterations to many of the pre-existing characters on this post, I remind you that I DO NOT own any of the characters. Though I also remind you that I have made changes to these characters as to fit my own personnel headcanons or stories. So, do not assume that they follow the same timeline or share the same basic information.

[asecretsummer-rpgpromo]

WANTED! FC can be changed!

Name: Maria Gomez Age: 26 Sexuality: Bisexual Gender: Female Portrayed By: Emeraude Toubia Availability: Open

“This town is kind of crazy… some of the things that happen would make great tv!”

→ Background

Maria has always been into fashion and make up. Ever since she was a little girl she’s just loved clothes and learning everything she could about make up. Maria started up her own youtube channel when she was fifteen, where she would give make up tutorials and fashion tips, that sort of thing. It was slow at first but she eventually gained quite a lot of subscribers and she really enjoyed doing it. It was something she loved and she would beg her parents for a better camera every year until they finally relented and bought her one for her eighteenth birthday. Her father always thought it was a waste of time but he’d also always had a hard time letting his baby girl down. Maria was the apple of her father’s eye, a real daddy’s girl, and she knew just how to get whatever she wanted out of him. He wasn’t her biological father but he’d been in her life since she was a baby and she couldn’t imagine anyone else being her dad. It was easy for her and she knew that her father would always relent and give her pretty much whatever she wanted, from new clothes to make up and magazines, even cold hard cash. It never made Maria spoiled or vain exactly, just a little bit manipulative, bordering on blackmail sometimes. It was a feeling she got great satisfaction from.

→ Back to Baberton

These days, Maria is mostly trying to survive Baberton like everyone else here. The murders and scandals interest her in the way it interests most other people. She still lives at home with her parents which can often be embarrassing at the age of twenty six but it’s comfortable and honestly Maria doesn’t know the first thing about getting her own place, she’s never even had a job! She spends so much time on her videos, making them and editing them, that she doesn’t often have the energy for anything else and honestly her father doesn’t push the idea of a job as much as her mother, who is easier for Maria to ignore. She doesn’t worry too much about becoming the next victim because she doesn’t deem herself interesting enough to be on the serial killers radar. Why would she be? When she’s not doing her youtube thing Maria spends most of her time with her friends, Summer Hughes and Harmony Maxwell. Maria really doesn’t have room in her life for much else, or she feels that way anyway, she can be rather lazy when she wants to be though she can feel that it’s slowly driving her parents crazy as they think she’s going to amount to nothing.

→ What’s Her Secret?

When she was thirteen, Maria caught her father cheating on her mother with one of his students. She caught them in his car one afternoon while she was taking a shortcut home and it really shocked her. Maria had been under the impression that her parents were madly in love, soulmates even, so this was a crushing blow. Her father convinced her to keep quiet so as not to hurt her mother and he promised to end the affair. As Maria got older however she just became more bitter about it. She loves her father a lot, she really is a daddy’s girl, but sometimes it really gets the better of her and she can’t help but rub it in his face that she knows something that could blow up his whole life. It’s usually by using this as leverage that she can get whatever she wants out of him.

Has been skyping with a guy called Aaron Hopkins after he stumbled across her youtube channel and messaged her. He lives in London and has almost convinced her to start sending him indecent pictures and going on camera nude for him in exchange for money. For a girl who doesn’t want to get a job and wants to make all her money online… it’s slowly starting to seem like a rather appealing offer.

Main | Plot | Most Wanted | Ask

[super-queer-hannibal-obsession]

The M/M Shipping Thing: Misogyny, the Male Gaze, and Feminist and Queer Representation

Follow up post to this one, here. Read this to see my thoughts on the importance of allowing women to see men through a lens where male sexuality is something to be celebrated, not feared. Seems like a lot of people can relate to this, and I just love talking about it so have some more of my thoughts.

First of all, it’s a numbers game…

Going off of this point by @colt-kun which I’ve copied and pasted here. This gives a great overview of a purely statistical analysis of why m/m ships are more common.  

“There’s also the sheer numbers to take into account.

Take the first Avengers movie as an example (because frankly its one of the few recent blockbusters with two female speaking roles). Two females, Black Widow and Maria. Then eight males, Iron Man, Thor, Captain America, Hawkeye, Hulk, Loki, Fury, Coulson.

Not counting polyships/selfships for ease of math, and using the characters cisgender identities bc that is what they are largely seen as (no disrespect meant to any trans/nb interpretations)

Possible f/m ships: 16 (35.5%) Possible f/f ships: 1 (2.2%) Possible m/m ships: 28 (62.2%)

That’s not even accounting for screentime, character chemistry, interaction times, etc. thats just the NUMBERS.

When there’s a large disparity in character gender then yeah, you’re going to see a heavy inclination to m/m ships because that’s really ALL THATS POSSIBLE. The fans have a natural desire for more story and romances, they want to world build and AU. We’ve done that since stories were first told.

So of COURSE you’re going to see a lot of women - of all sexual orientations - leaning towards m/m pairings because when there’s only potatoes at the buffet… you eat the potatoes. Think of all the shows an movies with only one female character in a cast of men. Is it really difficult to see WHY there’s a lot of m/m ships there?”

Mainstream media is male-centered and male-dominated.

Going beyond just the numbers the fact is that in the majority of popular films and TV shows many of the female characters aren’t well-rounded or on screen as much as most of the men. There is a tendency for women to be the secondary characters or maybe to have one main female character. This makes it hard to really relate to and invest in a lot of the female characters out there. Not that people don’t, but it’s not going to attract a huge following.

Take Supernatural (low hanging fruit I know) where even if there are a large number of women that appear throughout the series, there aren’t many that stick around(and let’s not even go there with all of the deaths and how sexist that is right now ha)or interact with each other in a way that would lead to a lot of shipping. Even in my lovely Hannibal fandom, the Marlana ship which people love and people write for just isn’t going to have as much of a following just based on the fact that they aren’t the main characters. And Marlana is a good example of a w/w ship where they aren’t objectified, don’t die, and still it’s a secondary focus. There obviously are some exceptions, but they are few and far between.

The Male Gaze:

Also, women (and any gender that isn’t cismale) are trained to see film through the male perspective. Film and TV is usually shot with the male gaze, so women learn to see through this lens. We grow up learning to empathize and put ourselves in the shoes of male protagonists because otherwise we would have very little media to enjoy. I think this is part of why it’s natural for women to ship m/m ships. I also think that shipping men and sexualizing them can be a subversion of the male gaze and is an empowering way to flip that script for many women.

We could go into a whole other discussion on internalized misogyny and patriarchal culture and why there are some not so great reasons women might gravitate towards m/m ships, but I think it’s important to see all the reasons why this is and to not demonize women for doing something that makes sense both statistically, sociologically, and psychologically, etc.

Men rarely have to put themselves in the shoes of women in film. So, I do feel like there is a difference between straight dudes watching lesbian porn and women who thoughtfully engage in a m/m ship. You can’t ignore the gender politics at play and how these factors interact. In an ideal world, people of all genders and sexualities could enjoy bodies without all the baggage of sexism and homophobia, but sadly that’s not our world.

This famous, awesome thread really sums it up:

Disclaimer:

I do think there are women who fetishize and act awful when it comes to m/m ships. (I also realize there are lots of other intersections at work in film such as race and class that I’m not really addressing.) Especially those who don’t do any of the emotional or intellectual work around the history of the queer community and who don’t engage in activism of that sort. Plus, if you are a straight woman who loves and supports gay male ships but you’re grossed out by queer women or you’re objectifying actual queer men in your life, it’s time to check yourself and stop that.

Homoerotic Subtext:

Also, women, and queer people across the board, have been trained to read subtextual clues like pros. Women are especially adept at reading into stories since they are so rarely represented in positive ways. Queer people do this, too. It makes sense that women, especially queer women, would pick up on interactions that have homoerotic subtext easily. And, since film is male dominated, it is much more likely the subtext will be between two men. Also, let’s just face it, the history of film is male centered and homo eroticism is a big part of it, and it’s usually about good looking white dudes. The LGBT community itself still has a long way to go in portraying and magnifying people of all genders and sexualities more equally.

The weight of the male gaze on queer women.

There’s also the problem of objectification. I like to write, read, and see fan art about w/w ships, but there’s always that weight of feeling like you’re objectifying women all over again and feeling unsure about it. Honestly, I think that many of us in fandom should probably do what we can to write more femslash and write original queer female characters, but there are a lot of reasons why these ships aren’t as popular as m/m ships. There’s a lot of baggage around portraying women and female sexuality. And lesbian sex is so objectified that it can be a minefield to navigate even when(once in a blue moon) a good f/f ship opportunity comes along. But, even with that, there are some thriving ships such as Korrasami and Clexa(oh look another queer woman is dead. This is why we can’t have nice things). Queer women do celebrate and create fandom around good w/w ships when we get the chance. 

Misogyny and Mocking Fandom:

Lastly, and I’ve read lots on this before so this is just my take, people tend to demonize fandom and m/m shipping because it is something that is driven by women, mainly made by women, and made mostly for other women (and nonbinary folks, too).

Even in the LGBT+ community, there is a lot of misogyny. Cis gay white men are the face of that movement, and they often don’t realize the sexism that is still alive and well in the community. It’s easy for people to laugh at, mock, and critique shipping because it is very much a space not created by men. I also think it’s easy for some privileged gay men to point out perceived injustice but not realize the sexism inherent in what they are saying.

Fandom is very much a place where women explore their sexuality and can enjoy seeing men being acted upon, not just being the actors. It’s no surprise that women are intrigued by the sexual politics of queer men given the messages about being penetrated and being acted on that women get all the time. Analyzing sexual dynamics through a m/m relationship makes a lot of sense psychologically as it isn’t tied to a male/female gender dynamic in the same way. I think it’s a very natural way for women to see sexuality , and things like dominance and submission, as a personal preference and the beauty and excitement of different ways of expressing sexuality.

People like to enjoy women’s work while also mocking it.

Also, I know many queer men who enjoy m/m smut, fan art, etc. from fandoms where I’m sure that 90 percent of the work is being produced by people who aren’t cisgay men, and are very likely people who identify as women. So, while I know that some queer men are cool with it and some aren’t cool with it, I think it’s important to keep in mind that many of them are benefiting and enjoying from the work that female driven fandom is creating.

In conclusion:

Once again, it’s important to not be a homophobic, fetishizing, clueless person. I see instances of problematic behavior and thinking among women who ship men together often, and it’s a problem and needs to be called out when it happens. But, for all that is holy, stop acting like all of these women are gross, homophobic fetishizers and look at all the reasons why m/m shipping is such a phenomenon. I always think being self-critical and analytical is important. It’s also good to listen to different perspectives because these are intersectional issues with valid discussions to be had.

Sorry this was so long. I really could go on and on, and this is what happens when I miss writing feminist/queer theory papers. ;)

[taco-night-frenzy]

Shadow the Hedgehog part 2

Whats up, I’ve been listening to more SA2 Shadow songs, felt the need to continue where I left off. 

Again, I want to just give off a general warning, this is just my interpretation of an interpretation of Shadow’s character. I love the way Shadow is portrayed in song, and I feel the musicians had a better grasp of his character than Sonic Team. 

Ironically, the problem with Shadow is his identity crisis. Not the good one where he doesn’t know who he is, but the fact that Sonic Team doesn’t know what they want to make him.

I think a big factor in his failure as a character is that he was often portrayed as “Bad Sonic” and just... an evil Sonic. And the thing about that, is Metal Sonic pulls this off much better, and Shadow really had some backstory and thought put into him that made him different from that. The good part of his character isn’t the “bad Sonic” part of him. In fact, for the most part, Sonic doesn’t even seem to be important at all to Shadow’s character or backstory, other than he was possibly designed to look like Super Sonic. (Again, almost none of what I say is canon as the series goes on because Sonic Team kept adding weird things to Shadow’s ‘lore.’) 

Anyway, let’s ignore that, just some of my bad opinions there. Let’s get to the real bad opinions I wanna talk about, and what I think Fumie and Bradly (the composers and lyric writers of Shadow’s songs in SA2) tried to portray about Shadow.

I want to now get to Supporting Me, but I think this requires us to look at one song before. I think the lyrical songs go in order, and Supporting Me is directly after For True Story. For clarity, I think the songs go Rhythm and Balance, Supernatural, For True Story, and finally Supporting Me. 

With Throw it All Away somewhere. Probably at the start, I’m not sure. My belief is Throw it All Away is meant to be just a general telling of Shadow’s character.

Now, wake up Now, wake up Now, wake up

Everybody tries to be straight But things are still unchanged It's useless to resist Their effort will be wasted Head straight for your goal by any means There is a door that you never have opened There is a window with a view you have never seen Get there - no matter how long it takes

Oh, dark - the darkness that dozes in the dusk Throw it all away No one can break you - nobody can tear you You live an endless life forever Oh, dark - the darkness that dozes in the dusk Throw it all away You see a light wherever you go You have to face it again and again And again... And again... And again and again and again 

You live an endless life forever... Forever... Now, wake up! 

I cut out a lot of repeats so I don’t make this post longer than the Great Wall, but feel free to look up the lyrics yourself if you want to see exactly how it was sung.  Anyway, first things first, I wanna talk about the important part of the song that is similar to Supporting Me. There seems to be two different voices singing this song. I believe that scratchy, dark voice is Shadow’s unconscious thoughts, or the thoughts Gerald Robotnik put into Shadow. Or even Gerald Robotnik himself. 

Now, I know if we look at the canon and the later games, this really does not make sense, but I’m looking at this solely from SA2′s point of view and the song writer’s point of view, and also just kind of how I would like to see it. 

Now, wake up 

obviously it’s that inner voice, or Gerald Robotnik telling Shadow to wake up when he’s found by Eggman. Or it could more easily represent “wake up and do my bidding.” Sort of like a sleeper agent, who isn’t aware they’re under control.

Everybody tries to be straight But things are still unchanged It's useless to resist Their effort will be wasted

Now here is why I think that dark scratchy voice is more Gerald Robotnik than anything. I don’t think Shadow knows enough of humans to know what they’re like. I think these are words by someone who tried to do good, tried to make things for the better, but it didn’t matter. 

Head straight for your goal by any means There is a door that you never have opened There is a window with a view you have never seen Get there - no matter how long it takes

And here’s obviously the instructions. “Do my bidding at any cost, do whatever you have to do, I don’t care.” Gerald Robotnik’s goal being to destroy the Earth obviously. (Is it that obvious? I don’t know. Again, after SA2, it becomes even more unclear what Gerald Robotnik really was I feel.) 

But here’s the interesting part, it’s not exactly clear that this is Gerald Robotnik saying it right? I think this is because this was made into Shadow’s very being. Even if it was Gerald Robotnik’s feelings, they were put into Shadow. They still technically ARE his feelings as well. Even if they’re someone else’s, even if they’re programmed into him, it’s still part of him, and I think this is where that really interesting struggle comes from. 

Oh, dark - the darkness that dozes in the dusk Throw it all away No one can break you - nobody can tear you You live an endless life forever Oh, dark - the darkness that dozes in the dusk Throw it all away

Now we’re at the lighter singing. I believe this to be more Shadow, or at least his more conscious self. I think it’s really really easy to see the dark and light comparison and think “oh he is just struggling between being good or evil” but I don’t think it’s quite as simple as that. 

I believe more that the darkness simply is just those fake memories and feelings Gerald Robotnik programmed into him. The fact that it’s “dozes” again makes me think it’s unconscious, like a sleeper agent thing. It’s this strange hidden thing in the back of Shadow’s mind that he can’t quite see or know what it is. It’s telling him what to do, although probably not as literally as that with the lyrics. He obviously doesn’t HEAR someone telling him what to do, but a force in him seems to be making him do it. 

And the part of Shadow that is more himself does not like this. He wants to throw that part of himself away. Again, this doesn’t really mean his lighter side is “better” but it more represents that he’s fighting with himself and who he is. Even if he doesn’t like that dark part of himself, that’s who he is, but he won’t accept it, or perhaps doesn’t know how. 

You see a light wherever you go You have to face it again and again And again... And again... And again and again and again

I think, again, it’s very easy to see this light and just be like “Oh it’s Sonic! Getting in his way!” But I think it’s more than that. I think Sonic is part of that, yes, but I think this light is just about everything. Take out Sonic, there will be someone else. 

The light could be Maria. In my previous post, I talked about how it seemed he was uncomfortable with her in one song (although this again is more of Gerald’s Programming I think.) If he does one thing, he has to face his memory of Maria, and is he doing the right thing? According to him, Maria wanted everyone dead and he promised he’d do it. Although, what if it was actually Maria wanted everyone alive? Which promise does he keep? And then, was it real anyway? 

No matter what Shadow does, he’ll have to keep facing this light. Even Eggman could be represented as light. Eggman I don’t think really wanted to destroy the earth, but that goes against Gerald’s/Shadow’s plan, so eventually he’d be in the way too. Everyone was against him, including himself. Because there can’t be dark without light. It’s just always there. 

You live an endless life forever... Forever... Now, wake up!

We return to the dark voice. Both of them telling him he’ll live forever. He can’t die and escape it. It’s something he’ll have to deal with, both of these voices fighting against each other. 

I took too long with this again, but whatevs. We’re moving on to Supporting Me now, which I believe is the final chapter in Shadow’s character in SA2. Also easily probably one of the best songs in the game.

This is directly after For True Story, which I think is Shadow’s lowest point, his most confused, where he refused to accept anything. 

Now at Supporting Me, I believe things are a little bit more clear, and he’s accepting things just a bit more. 

I'm gonna be desperate Never Lose... Hurry... Never Lose... Hurry I believe in my future, farewell to the shadow, It was my place to live, but now I need your hand. Lead me out with your light, I have breathed in, The disgusting air of darkness, but I never lose out. To the pressure, everything's just like, An illusion, I'll be losing you, before long. Never Lose... Hurry... Never Lose I never lose my confidence, I know you are supporting me, Supporting me... supporting me... I'll be losing you before long.

So again, like Throw it All Away, we have both those voices again. Except, here, it feels less like Gerald Robotnik is that dark voice. Here, it feels just a little bit like Shadow has more accepted that part of himself. A little. 

I'm gonna be desperate

This voice is the lighter one, I think the one that’s more his own self. I believe Shadow is just desperate at this point to know who he is, desperate to hold onto these memories, to hold onto anything that is him. But he knows it’s not real. Or at leas probably not real. So he desperately holds onto it. 

Never Lose... Hurry... Never Lose... Hurry 

These lyrics seem to be sprinkled throughout the song, and are all creepy and distorted. Again, I think it’s just his unconscious self, that part of Gerald that programmed him to never give up, get there at all costs. It’s always there, it’s part of him. Although, this time Shadow is using it for his own goals now. Kill the Biolizard, try to understand more about himself. Again, it feels slightly more like he is accepting it, to me at least. 

I believe in my future, farewell to the shadow, It was my place to live, but now I need your hand. Lead me out with your light, I have breathed in, The disgusting air of darkness, but I never lose out. 

This one is a little hard for me to understand. Forgive me, I know I’ve probably been wrong on everything so far, but I will probably be even MORE wrong here. 

This is still the dark scratchy voice talking. I think he is saying farewell to his oldself, his old self that fought between this light and dark side. “It was my place to live,” I believe was this dark and scratchy voice, the Gerald Robotnik side saying “I was meant to tell you what to do, you were under my control, light side, but now I need your help.” 

Again, I think this is Shadow accepting that darkness in him, at least a little bit. “Lead me out with your light.” I think even the dark side of him has accepted the other side as well. It’s less Gerald Robotnik now, and more himself. Slightly. 

“The disgusting air of darkness” is referring to itself now. I think this dark voice knows its bad, but still, he’ll use that dark side to stay confident. “I never lose out.” 

To the pressure, everything's just like, An illusion, I'll be losing you, before long.

And here obviously, we have Shadow’s conscious feelings. He knows he might be fake, his memories might all be fake. Everything he’s been told has lead up to this. He doesn’t want it to be fake though. I don’t think anyone would want to know their memories are fake, especially of the good people, like Maria. 

He doesn’t want to lose Maria, that memory he held of her. It’s not that he’s forgetting her, but he’s realizing more and more that it was probably fake, that he probably never even knew her. 

I never lose my confidence,

This is probably the most clear lyric in the song. I like it. Maybe it is just me, but it feels like a combination of that light and dark voice. It’s him accepting himself a little bit more, not fighting it, and using it to stay confident, stay on track with his goal. I think it’s obvious he does lose his confidence, but this is what he’s telling himself, this is at least what he wants to be I believe, and trying to be. It’s one of the only thing he knows. 

I know you are supporting me, Supporting me... supporting me...

I will admit, this part gets me a little. It’s sad, and its the end of the song before it loops, so really the end of Shadow in a way. 

The voice itself is really low, really hard to hear, and slowly fading away. He’s trying to imagine Maria supporting him, trying so hard to stay confident that he’s doing the right thing, that maybe she’s real. But, he knows she’s not real. She’s not supporting him. There’s no one. And that feeling is fading away, but he desperately wants to hold onto it. 

I'll be losing you before long.

This could be taken a few ways. I think most likely, it is Shadow realizing Maria is fake. Her support is fake, his memories of her are fake. He’s coming to accept it, where as before he never really could. Once he knows for sure she’s nothing more than a fake memory, she’s lost. It won’t have the same meaning. It’s hard to feel the support of someone who isn’t real, right? 

It could also mean Shadow knows he’s going to die soon. Could be both. But either way, he’s accepted it. At least a little bit. 

Man, I have written so much. If anyone managed to read through all this incoherent nonsense and still have respect for me, then thank you, I appreciate it. I really wrote all this more than anything to try and put down my thoughts and feelings as it’s been on my mind a lot, and try to make sense of this character, so its for a selfish reason that I write all this, and I don’t expect or want to force my views on anyone. 

But I really love this inner turmoil Shadow. I think this is what I wish he could have been and what he was meant to be, at least for the most part. Maybe he was simply this, but at some point Sonic Team or someone higher up said “No, he needs to also be a copy of Sonic! People love dark copies, make him that!” And then “Wow, he was really popular! Bring him back! But give him GUNS! He’s edgy and dark right??” 

And we sort of lost what made Shadow so interesting in the first place. Even in Sonic Heroes, I think they tried to bring that air of confusion and mystery for Shadow, when we find out he may actually just be a clone of the real one! That could have worked actually! That could have been a good way to bring him back and keep up this inner turmoil! 

BUUUUT then you find out in his game that he is actually the real one, and there’s not really... any turmoil there. It’s cool, dw, you’re real, everything was real all along! So... why are you still edgy? Eh, I dunno, it’s fun. 

Ah, whatever. I don’t want to poop on people who like him, because I think there is generally a good character in there somewhere, it’s just the Sonic Team writers didn’t know how to bring him out. The composers and music makers did I feel, though, and I want to give them praise for making Shadow seem really cool. 

And uh, that’s it I guess. Thanks for reading my bad opinions and bad interpretations that are not canon at all! I hope maybe it can at least let you see a different side to Shadow and maybe find him a little bit more interesting! If not, that’s okay, I understand.  Ah, so I wrote a story here after writing all this nonsense. Check it out if you managed to enjoy this for some reason. 

[burmecianblackmage]

Post #3000

Wow. This here, this just now, is according to tumblr the 3000th post I make on this blog. Who would have thought I’d stick around this long, that I’d post this much on here? And it’s been a wild ride.

I wanna use this opportunity to mention a few people as well as some stats, and since it will get long with the mentions, I figure I’d better start with the boring part - the stats, that is. So, without further ado, here we go:

Blog Statistics

As of this post, I have as already stated 3000 entries posted onto this blog, but those aren’t the only numbers to mention here. I also have liked a whooping 4404 Favorites on here, as well as followed 460 blogs. Now, I know most of these have long since stopped being active, but since I pretty much never unfollow people, that number only kept growing. It’s hard to tell how many are actually still active - and how many of those even are interested in my muse...

But let’s leave that aside! Since this blog was established on February 4, 2014 with this post, a total of 3 years, 7 months and 21 days have passed - or 1329 days in total. Many of those days have been quite interesting, filled with intriguing plays and fun encounters, and I’ve racked up a respectable 2.2573 posts per day average - not bad for a hobby, eh? Especially considering how long some of my posts tend to get...

Anyhow, in all that time, I have been gifted with a total of 433 Followers, some of which enriching my life greatly, and it will be them that I shall adress under the cut. I’ve also somehow pilled up a whooping 273 Drafts saved, but don’t be alarmed: None of those are plays I’m involved in. In fact, it’s almost entirely memes and prompts and whatnot that I stored for later use, and quite frankly, I’d do well to clean them out a bit soon...

On that note let me say that it is a pity that you cannot see a tally of how many notes your posts got, or how many of them were just what. It would have been intriguing to see how often I posted stuff only to be ignored, and how often the things I posted actually spawned something great. Ah well...

Anyhow, without further ado, let’s move to why you guys came to look at this post:

My dear Friends

Below the cut, I will list some of the people most important to me on this blog, and my thoughts on them. Please note that I do not mean to omit anybody, and should I forget someone, it does not happen out of ill-will but rather because I am sometimes a bit forgetful. If you aren’t on this list but would wish to be, then I will gladly make an addendum to it if you notify me, alright?

Maria, the Wild Rose Archer - @artemisxbow

Eri, we’ve now known each other for a good 3 years, but it’s only been in the last one that we really started to talk more, and for our muses to interact more - and look where that has lead us! We subject our two to angst and suffering, we plot evil things and have tons of hurtful ideas, and it’s not rare that I start going off on a tangent when we talk over Discord. Erm, I guess, long story short: I’m glad to know you and to play with you, and I am sorry for always being so mean to our muses. To many more adventures and plays!

Freya, the Lady Dragon Knight - @burmecias-protector

Freya-Mun, you were the first to play with me here on tumblr, and even though our plays have become quite sporadic, I always enjoy seeing you on my dash. You have an interesting way of writing and give Freya a lot of life - with all the joys and troubles that come with it. I wish we could have some more fluid plays between us again, but things are as they are, and I’m just glad we even get to play in the first place. Sceada looks up to Freya, though he’d hesitate to admit so.

Leonora, the lovely Sage - @containyourmainposure

Gwenny, you always used to be one of my favorite roleplayers on here, and I still adore your writing style. Your Leonora has long since become the way I see the canon Leonora as well, and the depth you’ve given her never ceases to amaze me. I really, truly loved writing with you as well as shipping with you - and I am sad that due to how things developed, not only has the ship sunk, but also the time we write together rapidly declined. I know it is mostly for life reasons, still, I can’t help but feel sad over it and miss it. Just like I lament the fact that it’s been ages since we’ve actually finished a thread properly... But things are as they are, and we have to take what we can get, and I’m just glad to still have you around, even if we don’t talk as much anymore. Nonetheless, I am still happy for you and how you improved your life, and hope it keeps getting better!

Leila, the daring Pirate - @dancing-dagger

Leila-Mun, I know we haven’t exactly written as much together and also haven’t really talked much, but I still consider you one of my closer friends on here. You are one that’s always open for fun and doesn’t hold back in her writing, and I really like that. You have great humor and are a pleasure to have around, no matter which muse. I hope we’ll eventually get to play more again, for I feel our muses have an interesting dynamic between them that would be fun to explore, and a number of conflicts awaiting them - be it as friends or more. I’ll try and reach out to you more soon, I promise!

Vani, the Halfling Rogue - @not-a-rogue

Lou, I’m gonna be honest with you, when I first saw you switching muses I was a bit sad. Your Porom looked very promising, and I would have loved to play more with her - but that is not to say that I like Vani any less than her, oh no. Vani has quickly become one of the most intriguing and amusing muses on my dash, and it is ever so great how she keeps forcing Sceada out of his shell with how she acts around him. Granted, sometimes that proves to be a mistake, but all in all both he and I really like your Halfling - and you too, of course. You are fun to talk with, and a really, really talented artist. I don’t know if others think so too, but you strike me as one of those muns that is just refreshingly uncomplicated and easy to approach - and I for one look forward to many more plays with you and your muses!

Emerya, the Envoy of the Fey - @atieflingwarlock

Emerya-Mun, I have to say I really, really love your muse, more than I’d ever have expected to. She is so much fun to read, yet also hides so much tragedy, and both me and Sceada genuinely want to learn more about her, and if possible to help mend her wounds. It amuses me time and time again how easily she can fluster Sceada, and how she has this very special charm to herself. I’m curious just where these two could go in the future, and how it’d all develop - and I have a good feeling that in due time, we may see it happen. Also I wanna thank you again for your help “translating” Sceada into a DnD setting, it was a lot of fun to build him up like that and now having him try and show what he can do!

Aria, the Maiden of Water - @nymphaxea

Aria-Mun, I know we haven’t known each other for long and haven’t talked all that much, but you seem like a very nice person and quite frankly, I like the way you portray your muse. The way she acts and thinks is at the same time quite admirable and challenging for my Sceada, as evidenced by that thread where he got unexpectedly angry over her resignation. I feel they have an interesting dynamic, and the few things we discussed felt very fitting too - and the best thing, it still leaves the door open for many possible directions these two could go. I hope we’ll get to explore their relationship more in future plays, and that you’ll feel better soon!

Amina, the reckless Adventurer - @the-shadow-of-a-wielder

Gem, I really like plotting and playing with you, and Amina is such an intriguing character, full of mystery and magic. I enjoy her personality as much as your willingness to throw her at anything, for better or worse. We can hatch so many different plots and scenarios, it’s amazing. Also, you are a very nice person, and to quote freely, “your crazy matches my crazy rather well”. I look forward to keep playing with you and eventually inch closer to uncovering the mysteries about Amina and her origins. Maybe we can even revive the two other verses we had? I’d certainly be all up for that!

Lenora, the Embodiment of Love - @thislovelylady // Edea, Grandmarshall of Eternia - @ladyofeternia

Lanna, Lanna, Lanna... - Of course a list like this would not be complete without you. We may neither play nor talk as often anymore as we used to, but back when I started out, you were a pretty big influence on my roleplaying, especially on Kamiizumi. The headcanons and angsty plots we created are treasured memories to me, and I have never stopped liking the way you write. It’s a bit sad that our muses don’t mesh that well with each another, because quite frankly, I do miss playing with you. Maybe one day this will be different again, who knows. Either way, I just wanna say thank you for all the times we interacted, and all the things I managed to learn from you or thanks to you. You were the heart of the Bravely RP community, and will always be remembered as such.

Brii, the Dragonhearted - @briidunviing

Brii, you know that even though we’ve barely had a thread so far between our muses, that I nonetheless consider you one of my best friends on here. You’re probably the one I talk the most with out of rp, and we seem to get along pretty well. You know I always have an open ear for you - and I’m sure you have one for me too. That having been said, I do quite like your muse! It’s a very interesting OC with a lot of inner turmoil, and the kind you just wanna help - even if you don’t know how. I’m curious to see where our muses will go once the blizzard calms down, but either way I’d be delighted to play more with you, friend.

Further Mentions:

All of you are people that I do play with and that I enjoy seeing on my dash. I’m sorry I didn’t dedicate you your own paragraph here, but if you would want me to talk a bit more about you, then by all means feel free to notify me and I’ll make an addendum for you! But even if I do not dedicate a paragraph to you, please know that I really, really enjoy seeing you on my dash and like playing with you, no matter how much or how little we’ve done so far! You are precious friends to me!

Jack, the cunning Thief - @ofgil || Teledji, the sleazy Merchant - @high-stakes-gambler || Kefka, the insane God of Magic - @light-of-judgment || Terra, the Half-Esper - @riotxblade || Vhaso’a, the tailoring Red Mage - @thevermiliongaelicatte || Lily, the aspiring Summoner - @losteidolon || Rojo, the red Chocobo - @fabulousredkweh & Lamya, the Chocobo-Breeder - @bokobreeder || Fran, the dignified Viera - @feralstriike || Faris, the Pirate Captain - @ask-captain-faris

This list would not be complete (or rather, more incomplete...) without the old friends that sadly no longer are active, but never will be forgotten. I always loved playing with you, you were wonderful people, and even if with some of you it’s only been a small number of plays, I treasure you nonetheless and silently hope that maybe one day, I might see you again:

Ritz, the valiant Student - @viera-blessed || Garuda, the sealed Primal - @ladyofgentlebreezes || Calisto, the Burmecian Knight - @burmecianknight || Garnet, the summoning Princess - @beyondtheflyingbird || Locke, the Treasure Hunter - @thepricewasright || Minfilia, the Antecedent - @sharlayanmistress || Eiko, the Lady of Lindblum - @ladyoflindblum || Garnet, the kind-hearted Queen - @avaliantqueen || Selphie, the cheerful SEEED @sunny-explosions

And finally, there are also some people I have yet to actually play with, but that are often on my dash and I enjoy reading immensly. There are differing reasons why we don’t play, and it is alright that we don’t, but should things ever change, I’d be delighted to start something with you! Until then, please allow me to keep admiring your writng from afar^^

Kuja, the magnificent Genome - @xkuja || Hylia, the Great Goddess - @hyliahergrace || Amaterasu, Mother to All - @mammaterasu || Mipha, the graceful Champion - @elegansproelior || Mikoto, the animated Genome - @emptyshards @xbranbal || Kitsuno, the dancing Princess - @foxlike-ffxiv || Eiko, the perky Summoner @sukoshishokan

Thank you all for enriching my experience here as a roleplayer! I love you all <3

Patrick~