#but who knows maybe a miracle happens haha

[ofallthingsnasty]

Sorry for the radio silence, I'm prepping for my dental surgery exam and it's. So much. 😭 It's on wednesday and afterwards I'll actually have some free time until my next exam (april 4th, one day before my birthday lol)!! I'll get to all of your asks then 💕💕 Thanks for sending in so much 🥹

[borgijin668]

Doodle time!

This time it's mainly Leo and Donnie, the famous Disaster Twins. I hope this will make your wait for the next part of my comic more pleasant, because it will take me some more time to finish it, unfortunately. I don't think I'll be able to post it before the end of the month, but who knows...maybe a miracle will happen, haha!

~~!Masterpost!~~

[somesecretpie]

I am looking for a human host!

Are you bored?

Are you lonely and bored?

Do you have a lot of time on your hands?

Do you have hands?

I’m offering you a proposal, with potential financial compensation for your troubles. It may sound off putting at first blush, but hear me out. I am looking for a human host. And I mean a “willing” human host who might be willing to give up some of their time to help out an odd fellow that doesn’t have hands or blood.

Am I asking to control your body? Yes. Sometimes. You’ll still be there, but taking the backseat. Now you’re probably thinking “That sounds no fun! I don’t want to spend all my time riding shotgun.”

And that’s valid.

But you all spend about half of the day unconscious anyway. Your body is just there, doing nothing—a complete waste. As for me, I don’t sleep (haha), so we could have it so that during the day, I will graciously let you do fun human things, and at night, I’ll do whatever. And by whatever, I mean perfectly safe, perfectly reasonable activities.

I don’t drink, and I rarely go outside.

I enjoy baking, I look at pictures of birds online, I’ve been getting into neuroscience lately. Very interesting stuff. You’re all very interesting.

And maybe you’re still thinking “Hey now, I don’t want some random mind-controlling thingy hauling my body around in my sleep, “Weekend at Bernie’s Style” to which I say, you’re no fun and you’re not the kind of person I want to live with anyway.

“But I’m a light sleeper!” you say.

Don’t worry! I can isolate your somatosensory cortex so you can’t feel anything.

“But my family will think it’s weird!” you say.

Don’t worry! You don’t have to tell them.

Actually, I would prefer that you don’t tell anyone. Please.

And should anyone question me, I’m not bad at impressions. I’ll get really good at a “you” impression, it’ll be the first thing I do!

I know this all sounds very strange and potentially unpleasant, but remember the financial compensation that may or may not be happening. Hell, I’ll even do some of your chores if you like, while you sleep. You can wake up and the dishes will be done, laundry folded and coffee made. Doesn’t that sound nice? And then you open the fridge and oh, what’s this? Someone baked banana bread last night (that was me, I baked banana bread last night.)

Now I should say, I don’t have a lot of standards, I really don’t. But I do (unfortunately) have some, so let’s just get them out of the way before I waste your time.

Please do not contact me if you have any of the following:

- Anemia: Sorry, it’s just not going to work out. I can pay for iron supplements, but I can’t work miracles.

-A weak immune system: I don’t like getting sick, I’m sorry. It’s gross, sick people are gross. I mean I know it’s not your fault, but healthy folks only please.

-A strong immune system: Yes, I know what I just said, but I also don’t want to be attacked by your immune system. So maybe you’re not the picture of health, but you’re just kind of okay. I’m looking for someone who is just kind of okay.

-A penchant for alcohol: It makes me feel strange…

-A name that starts with a P: I’m not the greatest at “speaking.” It’s hard, moving air through your throat and moving your tongue and your mouth at the same time. You all do it so easy—can’t say I’m not envious! I’m the worst at making the “P” sound.

I intentionally avoid any "p word" in conversation, and get by well enough, but I’ll look pretty foolish if I’m cavorting about, pretending to be you, and I can’t even say your name!

Those are my standards, but really, other than that, I’ll take anyone.

I don’t care if you’re male or female or anything in between.

I don’t care if you’re gay.

I don’t care if you’re smart.

I don’t care if you don’t have a lawyer.

There are so many things that I don’t care about.

Now, I’ve specified all the ways in which I could compensate you and how our relationship will be not in any way problematic, but I want to stress that, above all things, I am looking for a friend.

Someone I can spend quiet evenings with.

If you want to hang out with me during the day, that’s great! I can give you fun hallucinations. Or you could have hallucinations the normal way, like by reading, like what you’re doing now. I love to read! I love doing funny voices. I wonder what you think I sound like?

I hope I sound nice.

And one of the best things about me is I’m very quiet. No one else will be able to hear me except you. I’ll be like your own personal friend that only you know. Like a secret friend. And you don’t even have to talk to me because I can read your thoughts.

I suppose I should tell you a bit more about myself, since you’re still reading.

I was born in the Everglades, I think. It’s been awhile.

But I remember being so cold…

And so alone...

But then I met this sweaty man in a colorful tee-shirt, with a camera, and half a granola bar, and with blood so hot.

So yeah, he was my first host, and I’ll admit, we weren’t the best of friends. It was a confusing time for both of us. I was confused. He was confused. What happened was really both of our faults, you could say…

He was a bird watcher, if I recall correctly. Just watched birds all the time. I thought it might have been out of jealousy—watching those little things flying around makes you feel kind of stuck. I felt stuck.

So I decided to be a bird for a while to see if it was really all it’s cracked up to be. Squished myself into the body of this lovely American crow. We settled down, built a nest, and laid several nice, healthy eggs with a man-bird by the name of “Richard Baxter.”

He was a very proud bird, very large. And he gave me so many wonderful gifts. Like children, and also small pieces of plastic.

I still have all of them.

The plastic, not the children.

I’d never been so happy, all these hormones had me consumed in the joy of motherhood, but the crow’s health was failing. I could not sustain myself—it’s pathetic little heart beat weaker and weaker.

I tried starving, I tried everything I could, I wanted to be a bird so bad. But it just wasn’t working out.

The bird stopped working.

The other crows held a funeral service for me, even though I was still alive. I tried to tell them, but I’m not good at speaking, you remember.

It was all just a big mess.

I haven't seen Baxter since, but I still think about him a lot.

Is that weird?

I’m totally over it though, haha.

After that incident, I got kind of depressed... I possessed a lot of trash animals—gulls, racoons, and salespeople. I did what I could to survive. That’s kind of where I am now.

I am currently living in Miami florida—been body surfing almost every day (haha). Right now I’m using a library computer and a librarian. She does not like being possessed, boy howdy are these fingers twitching. But you can thank her for my halfway decent grammar.

I’m tired of feeling like a parasite.

I want to try a different approach.

I want to be friends? Like with Richard Baxter except I also live in your brain and drink your blood sometimes. But I’ll make you bread in your sleep, so it’s okay.

It’s been really hard finding someone willing to put up with me.

I’ve tried everything.

So I thought I would put up an advertisement online, why not?

Can’t say the P word in real life, but you can hear it in your head loud enough I hope.

I know I kept saying that I would compensate you financially, but I’m going to be real with you, I don’t have much. I’ve got like twenty bucks, some small pieces of plastic and a book about...finance....

But I’m a real hoot! ;D

So,

(P)lease,

If you are interested, leave your comments below. I would love to get to know you :)

I need to go now, the library is closing soon, but I’ll get back as soon as I can.

[warabidakihime]

Rules and Roses Chapter 4

★ characters: kibutsuji muzan x reader x akaza

★ plot summary: Kibutsuji Muzan has finally decided to expand his empire, and the way he intends to do so is by running for the highest political position. With you, his darling wife, at his side, he believes he can achieve and have everything the world has to offer. He is, after all, the Phoenix of Phario.

★ fic playlist: sometimes, same day, as time stops, wolf’s song (this is also the vision board for the fic). 

★ content warnings : implied violence and abuse, profanities, toxic relationships, smut.

★ Previous Chapter

a/n:

hello!

just want to hop on here and say thank you to everyone who has been giving their likes and reblogs. huge thank you to those who are taking the time and effort to read my story as well. i've been wanting to continue this story for so long but i'm just so busy with work, but i'm glad i am able to find the time to write and update as regularly as i can.

hopefully someday i can hear your thoughts through your comments though haha i would really love to hear what you think about Rules and Roses and the way i write the characters as it is my first time. tbh, i am extra curious to know if i'm giving muzan's character justice HAHA but yeah, it never hurts to leave comments so feel free to send them my way.

i also would like to give those people who have not read the manga a heads up, that in this chapter and in the succeeding ones, there will be minor to moderate manga spoilers, so ready with caution.

also, moving forward, things will steadily pick up, so get ready HAHA!

enjoy reading everyone!

-

The sun had barely risen over Areswood, its golden hues taking its time enveloping the sky, but Muzan and Douma were already up and busy at Obelisk Kibutsuji, going over their next course of action for their campaigns for the next few months.

Muzan stood at the center of his spacious office. A large map of Phario's electoral districts sprawled across the narra table in front of him, dotted with colorful pins representing key areas of support. 

Douma, on the other hand, leaned over the map, his eyes narrowing as he assessed their next move. 

"We need to double down our efforts in the southern districts," Douma said, twirling his fan languidly. "The latest polls show we're losing ground there, but it is the opposition's home turf, so I'm not surprised," he added with a hint of mirth.

Muzan nodded, rubbing his temple as he processed the information. He'd been up since dawn, reviewing speeches and strategies. The weight of the campaign was beginning to show in the faint lines on his face and the dark circles under his ruby eyes.

Unlike Douma, Muzan couldn't afford to make light of the situation. Keeping a straight and serious face, he continued to rack his brain for strategies. After a few minutes, Muzan finally spoke, catching everyone's attention.

"Let's schedule a town hall meeting in Azudellin. We need to connect with the voters there and show them we're listening to their concerns."

"Today?" Douma asked.

"Yes, why? Do we have other agendas for today?"

Douma quickly checked his calendar on his phone.

"We have an interview with the Areswood Times in an hour, then a fundraiser lunch at noon, followed by debate prep, and a gala dinner with key donors tonight."

Muzan sighed, his frustration evident in his voice. "We can't afford to delay this. Azudellin is slipping away from us."

Douma, feeling a bit depleted himself, shrugged. "The earliest we can fit it in is next week. It might be too late by then, but who knows? Maybe a miracle will happen."

In the midst of a very important meeting, a knock separated everyone from their own thoughts. One of Muzan's executive assistants, Nakime, walked in with a stack of freshly printed leaflets, oblivious to the tension in the room.

"Sir Kibutsuji, Sir Hashibira, these just came in. The design team finalized the new posters and pamphlets for the campaign trail."

Muzan barely glanced at the leaflets, his mind racing. 

"Thank you; just leave them on the table."

Nakime quickly left after obeying his orders, clearly sensing the gravity of the moment.

With mindless eyes, Muzan continued to rack his brain for any backup plan or anything that could be of significant help to the predicament they currently have. Letting out a resigned sigh, Muzan finally opened his eyes and turned to everyone. 

"We'll have to make do with what we have," he said, turning to Douma, who's listening intently. "At our interview with Areswood Times today, maybe we could give Azudellin a special shout-out—say something that can please their ears. This is your specialty, so I leave this to you." 

Douma nodded, a peculiar smile present on his face. "I'll handle it. I'll make sure our message is loud and clear in the interview today."

Muzan merely nodded at his running mate before turning to the rest of his party. 

"Let's deploy a few of you to Azudellin today; get some boots on the ground. We'll organize smaller meet-and-greets throughout the week to keep our presence felt until we can hold the town hall altogether. Take this chance to highlight your own platforms and campaigns as well, but don't oversell yourselves and turn off the locals. Understand? We can't afford any missteps."

A chorus of 'yes, sir.' and 'understood' rang in the room after listening to Muzan's orders. As usual, his commanding voice and his overall demeanor exuded charisma and extreme strictness, which made everybody in the room yield to him so easily.

Muzan scanned the room, making sure everyone's conviction matched his own. Technically, his party has been dominating almost all polls across the entire country, and it's safe to say that he is the number one candidate to win the elections, but he didn't want to remain complacent.

He doesn't want to attribute his victories to silly things like fate or destiny. He did that before and miserably paid the price; after learning his lesson, he vowed to never rely on foolish things ever again and will do everything in his power to ensure his indisputable victory.

Taking a deep breath, Muzan felt assured again. 

"Alright. This meeting is adjourned. Thank you, everyone."

*

"Oh, really? That's good to hear, darling. I'm happy for you," Muzan said softly, followed by a fond chuckle as you continued to share what happened during your hair appointment.

You were at the salon, enjoying your usual 'pamper time.' While you were getting your hair done, an A-list celebrity approached you. Initially, she only intended to have a small chat, as you are technically an A-list celebrity yourself. However, as your conversation continued, Ume confided in you that she recently got engaged but hasn't announced it to the public yet.

She personally requested you to be her wedding planner, and of course, you gladly accepted.

"Ahh! I'm so excited. I'm still preoccupied with Ms. Rivera's wedding, but so many ideas for Ms. Ume's wedding are already flooding my mind," you told your husband gleefully.

Muzan chuckled again, his eyes turning into crescent moons as a smile spread across his face, a total contrast to the serious expressions he had earlier.

Muzan prided himself on being level headed even in the most dire situations, but all that bravado would always melt away whenever he was with you. He couldn't help it. Your energy has always been contagious, and when it came to you, he was nothing but a man hopelessly in love with his wife.

Douma, seated in the backseat with Muzan, looked at his running mate with pure intrigue, watching him transform into a lovesick puppy while talking to you.

"Ah, yes, the meeting went great, my love. There were a few bumps here and there, but we managed," Muzan said to you. Knowing you, he anticipated your worry and was proven right when he heard the concern in your voice.

"I see... well, if there's anything I can do to help you guys, you know I'd be more than willing," you said from the other line.

Muzan smiled softly, clearly touched by your investment in his endeavors as much as he was in yours.

"Well, if you're free next week, you can tag along to our town hall at Azudellin," he proposed.

You smiled, having left the salon and decided to go to the mall for some much-needed retail therapy. Akaza wasn't with you today, as he had something to take care of, so Gyokko, one of your security guards, was accompanying you today.

"I don't have anything planned next week. I don't mind joining—wait, can I also do my own charity event there? I haven't done one in a while, and don't you think this is the perfect time? It could help your campaign."

Muzan immediately smiled at this. "You're more than welcome, darling. I'll have my people assist you with your preparations. Just let me know what help you need."

"Aww, you don't have to! But thank you. Let's talk more about this at home later. Maybe we could tailor this with your own community outreach initiatives. I believe you have a couple, right? We can make it a joint one, hitting two birds with one stone."

Muzan was listening intently when Douma reached out to let him know they had reached their destination. Muzan gave him a curt nod before returning to you.

"That's right. Alright, let's talk about it later, Y/N. I need to go; Douma and I are here at the studio already. Take care on your way home, okay? Call me if you need anything."

You nodded with a happy smile on your face. "Okay. See you later, my love. And good luck today. I love you," you said with passion.

Muzan replied just as passionately, "I love you too. Mhm, yes. Goodbye. See you later."

After ending the call, he turned to Douma; his whole demeanor had already changed. "Let's go."

Douma complied, climbing out of the car after him.

As they walked inside the building and toward their dressing room, escorted by a handful of media staff, the vice presidential candidate subtly nudged his running mate.

"It seems like that phone call improved your mood, Pres ."

Muzan smirked, his strides toward the TV studio exuding confidence and pride. "My first lady is quite the wonder woman."

Douma chuckled softly, amused by Muzan's demeanor. "It seems like she has quite an effect on you."

"She does," Muzan replied, his tone unapologetically confident. "She's not just my wife; she's a force to be reckoned with and my equal."

Douma raised an eyebrow, intrigued by Muzan's unabashed praise. "You sound almost unbeatable when she's on your side."

Muzan merely nodded, the cocky smile on his face still present. "Indomitable."

Douma chuckled softly. "You've really got it bad, haven't you?"

Muzan shot him a sidelong glance, a hint of amusement in his eyes. "Do you not feel the same about Shinobu?"

Douma chuckled again. "Hey now, don't underestimate me. My wife is a force of nature herself."

The proud CEO of Obelisk Kibutsuji and Phario's leading presidential candidate simply offered his running mate a rather shallow chuckle as a response and a nod to convey that he agrees with him.

Finally, they reached the TV studio, and the two of them noticed that it was a full house.

"Are you ready?" Douma asked Muzan.

Muzan's gaze swept across the room, his presence commanding attention.

With a confident smirk, he declared,

"To make history? I was born ready.'"

He made his way to the stage, greeted by applause and camera flashes, projecting an aura of assured victory as he took his seat on the couch.

*

The day was finally coming to a close. After spending the entire day at the mall shopping, you were exhausted and hungry.

Initially considering Italian cuisine, it suddenly occurred to you that the downtown burger joint you and Akaza had visited a couple of days ago was nearby.

Opting for convenience and familiarity, you decided to head there and also decided to order takeout for both Akaza and Muzan, as well as Kokushibo and the maids and guards.

Surely, both had returned home by now or were on their way. Muzan's jam-packed schedule guaranteed he would appreciate indulging in fast food after such a long day, and Akaza would undoubtedly welcome the gesture.

And it wouldn't hurt to treat your house staff every now and then. It is something you do every now and then, as it's one of your ways of showing appreciation for the services they provide you.

For Muzan, you chose to order the same as yourself, knowing he preferred healthier options but trusting he would enjoy something you approved.

You already ordered Gyokko to prepare the car, so when your orders are ready, you can just hop in and make a beeline home. As you waited at the counter, you hummed to yourself, glancing around the familiar surroundings of the burger joint.

Once again, a sense of déjà vu struck you, from when you entered earlier and throughout your stay. It's honestly starting to worry you.

"It's nice to see you around here again, my dear."

You turned to the voice—a kindly old lady. "Excuse me?" you asked politely.

The old lady smiled warmly. "It's been quite a while since your last visit."

"Oh, I've been busy these past few days," you replied with a smile. "I really enjoyed my first time here last week."

Confusion crossed the old lady's face at your response.

"Aren't you one of our regulars?"

You frowned, puzzled. "I'm not sure I understand..."

"You've been coming here for years , haven't you? Or am I mistaken?"

Your unease grew visible. "I'm sorry, but I think you have me confused with someone else."

Before you could finish, the old lady turned and retrieved a photo from the wall behind her, returning to you with a smile.

"This is you and your fiancé, right?"

She handed you the photo.

In it, Akaza had his arms around your waist, both of you beaming happily.

Your eyes widen in sheer shock.

"What..."

Turning the photo over, you saw a note scribbled on it:

Hakuji Soyama x L/N Y/N - Just got engaged! (03/03/2015)

-

taglist: @bffrrufr @unadulteratedhandsbanditdreamer @unlikelybananawerewolf

[foodtruckery]

You need an abo tag? Bet.

Stan going into a heat he hasn't had in a decade when Ford calls him back because he's back in the presence of his safety, his brother. Ford opens the door, crossbow wielded have you come for my eyes, and has to immediately drop it because Stan's pupils are rapidly dilating and he's beginning to pant and Ford can fucking smell the slick running down Stan's leg. Suddenly all the anger, paranoia, desperation is single mindedly focused on keeping his omega safe, secure, covered. - starrypockets

ad;sflkja i did not say i needed one! but i mean. here we are anyway hahahaha

SO HAHAHA. i touched on this suuuper briefly in another ask somewhere, but i think if stan had gone into a random heat when he gets to ford's place, in their paranoid vs mullet stages, that would've been....bad actually haha. or at least really fuckin complicated, which makes it fun!

like maybe stan is so caught up in the stress and anxiety of seeing ford again - of ford ASKING for him to come and see him, what are the odds?? - that it all either triggers a heat or he doesn't even realize it's happening until he's already there and can't really do anything about it. but ford had invited him here, and he doesn't want to fuck things up by not showing. but he also doesn't want to fuck things up with this, y'know? but maybe ford will at least let him lock himself in a room for a few days??

but ford...well, ford isn't exactly himself right now. he has so much caffeine in his body it's a miracle he hasn't had a heart attack yet, he can't remember the last time he slept, everything hurts and he doesn't know why unless the nail is still sticking out of his hand when he comes to, and he is concvinced - for good reason - that someone is being sent to further mutilate him. you're going to throw on TOP of that his brother, who yes he sent for, but by his memory is a beta, is surprise actually an omega and coincidentally going into heat on his doorstep?? something that, oh how convenient, is a fantasy he's indulged himself in one-too-many times. i don't think ford would even believe stan was REAL right away.

cause ford also isn't just ford right now. ford has a demon in his head that has seen every depraved, hormone addled fantasy he's jerked off to and would absolutely know his feelings for stan. and even if this suddenly-an-omega stan IS real (sus), ford is still one micronap away from potentially ending the world. so now on top of the EVERYTHING he's been going through, he's also fighting every secondary instinct he has because holy shit, he can't afford to lose it right now.

but...y'know....maybe all that up front confusion between both of them at least slows down the "go downstairs and start fighting and ruining each other's lives again" thing. and it would take a lot of gymnastics to get there, but...well. bill can't use ford's body if he's tied up well enough, right? and in a few hours, all stan is really going to need is a dick to fuck himself on. if you think about it......they could make this work, right?

which would, of course, mean BILL is absolutely participating. but maybe he'd be so fucking strung out on 'alpha in proximity to their favorite omega in heat' thing that he's not trying as hard as he probably should right now to get back to the portal shit when he's in control.

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger Barel Main Route - Blind Love Chapter 25 His POV

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this. I’m doing this for archiving purposes and you can probably find a better translation out there

As if time had stopped, the conservatory remained quiet and peaceful.

Moonlight filtered through the soot-stained holes of the ceiling, creating a soft halo around Kate’s hair.

I had brought Kate to the place where I hung out with Alec to show her a “certain something”.

Roger: Wait. I’m positive I left it around here somewhere…

I pulled out several folded sheets of paper from an envelope that was hidden under a flower pot.

Kate: …A letter.

Roger: Like I said, Alec left me a letter before he died. I really wanted to keep it close to me, but… I didn’t want to get stuck in memories.

I didn’t need that childish desire to get lost in memories when I had to deal with fighting against despair every day.

Kate: …You’ve already read it so many times that you don’t need it with you.

Roger: Huh?

(...How did you know?)

Kate: The letter. It’s wrinkled and worn.

I handed Kate, who had always been kind and showed concern for others since we met, the letter.

Roger: Hm

Kate: …Can I read it?

Roger: Since it’s you, I want you to read it.

I wanted Kate to know the secret I’ve been keeping to myself.

Kate: Thank you…

“To my little friend, Roger”—that’s how the letter started.

It then went on about how if anything happened to Alec, he wanted me to forget about him and the research on the Cursed he had done here. And—

“Hey, Roger. The world we live in is very cruel, isn’t it.

It’s full of things beyond our control and our hearts bleed out just by being alive.

But I also think the world we live in is beautiful.

The sky’s blue when you look up, the birds sing, and sometimes someone will find hope that’s like a miracle.

The world is cruel, yet endlessly beautiful.

That’s why the world is worth living in and fighting against despair for.

My dear little friend, you will no doubt encounter despair in the future. However, don’t let yourself be defeated.

Your life will always be beautiful.”

Kate looked up at me from the letter, her gaze sweet and gentle.

Roger: Those words saved me, and I’ve been living by them my whole life. With those words, I’ll be fine. I can fight against despair even when I’m by myself. I’m strong, I won’t be defeated, I won’t be lonely, I won’t let my soul rot, and I’ll fulfill my ambition. That’s been my mantra until I met you.

Kate: …Huh?

The way Kate blinked in confusion was so adorable that I found myself smiling.

I didn’t want to succumb to my curse, so I always repeated to myself “I won’t be a traitor” as if to fight against my “betrayal” curse.

However.

Roger: I’ve always claimed that I’d never betray anyone, but maybe I’ve…been betraying my own heart.

(Stubbornly saying “I won’t be a traitor” may have been a way for me to ignore my true feelings)

(I’m almost sure)

Roger: Deep down in my heart, I’ve been searching. For someone I could laugh with by my side.

(Kate became my dog, assistant, partner, and then lover)

Roger: Someone to chase after my ambitions with.

(Kate is with me now)

Roger: Someone to snap me out of it when I’m falling into despair.

(Like the time she yelled at me in jail, I think…No, I don’t think I’ll ever forget about it)

Roger: Someone to teach me that, even if love’s pointless, it’s the best.

(This unidentifiable feeling called love definitely exists between us)

Roger: That “someone”—there’s no one else but you, Kate.

(Kate, I don’t want anyone else but you)

Kate: …

Roger: …I won’t find anyone else in the world.

I loved how Kate looked when she tried to hold back her tears.

Roger: Pfft…haha. What’s with that cute face?

Kate: As you can see, I’m trying to hold back my tears!

Roger: A~ah, I can’t take you seriously when you’re barking like that.

Roger: Pfft…Alright, alright. Hang in there.

Kate: Please stop talking already…

Kate looked up, trying to stop the tears from pooling at the corner of her eyes. But—

Roger: Not gonna. I still got something to say to you. ‘Til now, I’ve been saying some pretty words with love, but… My main reason is that “I” enjoy being with you.

Kate: …

(“I” only wanna be with you. Until the day I stop breathing)

When Kate blinked in surprise, the tears she tried to hold back spilled out.

Kate: If you say something like that, then…waaahh~~

Any place where Kate cried cutely like this felt like the kindest, most peaceful place in the world.

Roger: With you, the world isn’t such a shitty place.

(Kate, I can’t abandon this shitty, yet beautiful world I live in when you’re in it)

(Even when against despair…I think that’s what makes this worth fighting for)

Kate: Roger…

Roger: Hm, what?

Kate:  Roger, Roger, Roger!

Roger: What?

With her face still wet with tears, Kate jumped into my arms with everything she had—

Kate: Roger, I love you!

(...Yeah, I know)

(I love you too. I know because you taught me what love is)

Roger: A~ah, your face’s all wet. You really are so cute!

While holding Kate tight, I teased and spoiled her.

(A~ah, damn. I don’t think I’ll be content with life without her.

(Despair will always come after us because life isn’t kind)

(Because hope isn’t easy to come by)

(But still…)

Kate: Roger, you can keep teasing me all you want. You can bully me. You can do whatever. But promise me. That we’ll keep living together until the very end.

Roger: ……Yeah.

(Let’s give despair the finger and live together for as long as life lets us)

As if making a vow for the future, I stole a kiss from Kate and looked into her eyes.

Roger: I’m gonna push you around so much you’re gonna hate it. And that’s for life.

Kate: *sniffle*…Crying made me hungry…

(That wasn’t sexy at all. But maybe I’m crazy ‘cause I found it cute)

I couldn’t help but laugh when I felt this unscientific, but lovely feeling rise up in my heart.

Roger: Yeah, me too. Having you in my arms’ tired me out. So…

Kate and Roger: Let’s go eat.

—The conservatory was empty, except for the sound of laughter left behind.

Destiny, unrealizable dreams, incurable disease, war, poverty…

It just goes on.

This world’s a bargain sale of despair.

And it’s called “despair” because you can’t do anything about it.

However, that’s not something I’ll allow.

If you can’t overcome despair— then what’s the point of me, of us humans, being born?

That’s why…these days, we live our lives giving it the finger.

With the one we love.

[all-pacas]

stupid chase 13 self indulgent sibling shit:

13 is the first one to jokingly refer to chase as her brother. except she calls him her younger brother. chase is like super touched but also hi i'm older than you "sure you are buddy". it's like an ironic "haha we're not actually siblings" joke except secretly no. it's not ironic

13 also has made at least a couple "let's go find dad" jokes about house. she finds it funny and deeply annoying that house and chase don't seem to Get It. it's very obvious to her that chase's deepest dream is for house to pat his shoulder and say "i'm proud my son" but they deny it

at least once 13 has pat chase's shoulder and gone "i'm proud my son"

at least once though. at least one time. "i killed my older brother." "i abandoned my younger sister to rehab." like they know. all their darkest shit. they don't want to be siblings because they did terrible things to their families. but it's why they are

they text. she's constantly sending him photos from her greek island. the food. the beach. look how hot my girlfriend is. he's in the middle of some gross procedure and gets a text of a beautiful sunset. he sends back a photo of a urine sample or some gross wound

when chase quit at the end of s8 and 13 swung by the next episode to talk with wilson the next day? she was staying with chase while she was in town. they mostly just hung out and watched nature documentaries. when wilson called she was like "oh i just happen to be in new jersey, let's meet up" while wearing sweats and sitting on chase's sofa

chase offers to kill her since house is gone and can't. they come up with a rough timeline and plan and then never discuss it again. until it's time.

at least a few dark "oh, shit, i'm wilson now, aren't i?" jokes from her in return. shit, the new house has a dying best friend too! except with so much less sexual tension!! they joke because they can't bring themselves to be serious about it. she tries to set him up with new friends. big advocate for choreman

idk but i get the feeling they'd watch crappy reality tv together.

they'll sometimes just have the darkest and most serious 1 am conversations about morality and souls and what makes a person good or evil, and then the next time they see one another instead of following up it's just "did you see real housewives last night"

chase has never asked 13 for a favor. like he'll ask her little things or let her pay for lunch, but that's about it. meanwhile she can call him at 2 am and he'll show up no questions asked. maybe kind of grumpy about it tho. kind of pisses her off he never lets her return the favor and sort of shut himself off emotionally after s6. but also it's nice? not the "chase's turn towards cynicism" part, but having a standing no questions asked deal.

when he annoys her enough, 13 DOES call chase "robbie" or worse "bobby" but he's never called her by her first name and probably never will

he didn't tell her he got stabbed and she was mad about it because see above. that was a real bobby day

chase knows she doesn't want to fuck around with more huntington's trials but he reads EVERY article and EVERY journal, just in case some miracle comes up. 13 meanwhile follows fake african country politics with a weird intensity to make sure diabla's forces aren't regaining power. they never discuss either thing with one another.

first time 13 visited Chase MD office she forced him to pose in front of the door and took like 15 photos like it was bobby's first day of school. absolutely humiliating

chase goes to 13 and amy's wedding. he's the only one of the PPTH folks who do (taub sends a card. they forgot to tell foreman.)

once 13 was like "we're both hot and single and should do what hot, single people do!" "....have...sex...?" "no, go to a gay bar" they actually go quite a few times

[hey-must-be-a-devilbetween-us]

you guys don't understand how much I need for Crowley to survive in large part because people other than Aziraphale start actively caring for him,

I need Muriel to get an inventory of books about depression and break ups and they're like ooooh that's what's happening, starts looking up cures on Aziraphales old Amstrad and starts miracle-ing Crowley warm sweaters and ice-cream and hallmark movies and not knowing what to say to make it better but they're there.

I need Beelzebub and Gabriel to visit separately at first to check up on him cause they're grateful for what he and Aziraphale did but they don't want to hurt him with their happiness, until eventually Crowley tells them all grumpily its fine if they come together next time and they all go for walks and play boardgames.

I need Maggie and Nina to come over to just listen to music and let him cry it out and they probably starting crying too and drink wine (Maggie drinks tea😊) and even gasp talk about stuff other than Aziraphale, for hours.

maybe even the Them come around sometimes too, maybe Newt and Anathema got a letter from Agnes with big ol' script on the front saying 'DO NOT BURN' with clear instructions to not worry this isn't a prophecy Anathema just pop in and bring some cheer to thee Angel's bookstore and the Them ask to come along and they all become pretty close. (Somehow they bring Warlock too idk maybe they all go to the same school haha)

I need Aziraphale to come back and after everything is settled he is glowing with gratitude for everyone who was there for Crowley when he couldn't be.

I need for all of them to turn around and say 'hey we're here for you too, ya know?' because they can tell being in heaven separated from Crowley was just as bad if not worse because of how alone Aziraphale was, he didn't have a bunch of lovely humans and outcast angels and demons and anti-christ's and kids and witches to rally around him.

I need all of them to have a real big ol' party in the shop where everyone is being their totally authentic, joyful selves as Aziraphales thank you and he just starts crying he's so grateful because he looks at Crowley smiling and dancing and laughing with his very own friends that discovered what he did so long ago, how fucking amazing Crowley is.

He just can't imagine what would have happened if he had been down here all alone.

And Crowley hugs him and kisses his head and he starts crying because he's imagining what it was like for Aziraphale up there all alone, and its chilling.

Aziraphale just laughs tearfully and says, "I didn't feel alone, I was watching over all of you the entire time."

Crowley smiles back with tears to match, "Never again angel, no more watching over, you stay right here."

[mouwrites]

hi i was the one who asked ab the character match up thing but i also have a request!

could you write headcanons of being best friends with lloyd garmadon (and a slight unaddressed undertone of them having crushes on each other maybe)

like they’re really dumb and make fun of each other all the time but would die for each other easily and they have starfarrer marathons and play video games together and all that junk

totally fine if not though!! ⭐️🌟

Absolutely!!

Ninjago - Being Lloyd’s Best Friend (?) ;)

You guys met when he was on a mission

The ninjas were on the hunt for an ancient magical artifact, which you just happened to remember finding as a child

You guided them through the wilderness, secretly doubting your own navigational skills

That and the fact that you weren’t sure it was even there anymore made you obviously anxious

Lloyd, who was following the closest behind you, noticed the way you chewed your cheek and wiggled your fingers

You locked eyes once, and the look he gave you was the gentlest, most trusting yet understanding look you’d ever seen

Your anxiety melted away as you gazed into his deep green eyes

Then, realizing you were staring, you giggled awkwardly and apologized

That was how your very first conversation began

Lloyd was just trying to keep you calm so you could focus, but he completely forgot his goal when you mentioned Starfarer

“You like Starfarer?”

“Yeah, haha. I know it’s a little childish—”

“I love Starfarer!”

“No kidding?!”

Honestly, you had no idea where you were at that point

You were just taking random turns while you gushed about the series

(Much to the annoyance of the others following close behind)

By some miracle, you eventually found the artifact

On the way back, Lloyd explained what it was and what he needed it for

You thought he was so cool

You demanded to have him update you when the mission was completed

You exchanged numbers before finally departing

Less than five minutes after he left, you guys were already texting up a storm

You found out you actually had much more in common than being Starfarer fans; for one, you both loved video games

You compared which games you’d played and which you hadn’t, making vague promises to get together and play the ones you hadn’t

Needless to say, you guys text a lot

Lloyd is frequently gone on missions, but he always keeps his phone nearby

Calling you is his favorite way to pass the time when traveling

You keep him updated on more worldly matters, like when a new Starfarer comic is going to be released

He tells you about his fantastic adventures in return

Secretly, you both think to yourselves as the other speaks: Man, they’re the coolest person in the whole world…

Lloyd tries to visit whenever he can

Playing video games and goofing off with you always makes his day

He’ll lie awake at night recollecting your jokes and bursting into laughter all over again

You lie awake at night envisioning him on his missions, your heart racing as you picture him escaping peril time and time again

So, when one of you texts the other late at night, you’re both awake anyway

Your late night texts are different from daytime texts

You talk about deeper things: life, death, your pasts, anything and everything

You don’t really do this when you meet up; no, that time is reserved for teasing and goofing off ONLY

But you both sort of wish you did talk like that in real life, though neither of you bring it up

You just push down that stirring in your chests when you sit just a bit too close, or when you stare for half a second too long at your friend’s face

A rather pleasing face…

anYWAY you guys also share a huge sweet tooth

Snacks are a must whenever you hang out

And if you bake… oh man

You will immediately become Lloyd’s favorite cook

Even if you’re nowhere near Cole’s or Zane’s level, Lloyd will stand by his opinion that your goodies are better than theirs

You guys would ABSOLUTELY go to fan conventions together

Matching cosplays!!

If you cosplay a ship, you’ll awkwardly agree to do cute poses together when people want a picture

Again, just push down that stirring in your chest when you hold each other…

The other ninjas don’t tease Lloyd about you being his s/o

Mostly because they aren’t sure if you guys are actually dating or what

Lloyd doesn’t notice their skepticism though, he’s too focused on being silly with you :)

Thanks for reading! And thank you anon for the request :) take care guys <33

[nervoushottee]

Flaws and All CH. 3 | Joel Miller x Fem!Reader

Warnings: you getting jiggy with it with a knife to a can of frank and beans (no blood though)

Summary: You and Joel are on the road to Abe's place but stop to make camp before it gets too dark. You thank Joel for saving you.

Note: AHHHH GUYS HI! You have no idea how happy I am to post this. Fall is ever so approaching and I've been getting more into the comfort mood of the cold. I have been honestly writing this fic off and on throughout the time the last chapter was posted. I think I was at my previous job when I started this fic. But I quit that job and then I got a shitty 9-5 job and I quit that one haha! But no need to worry, just so happy my fingers are tapping on a keyboard again to write stories I can't stop thinking about.

Enjoy hottees!

(Light editing)

—————————————-

Besides old cars and debris, the roads were thankfully quite bare. Nothing but the frequent deer and occasional squirrel crossing the road, that would scare you from time to time. But you would rather the fleeing animal stop you both than a group of raiders any day. 

Rain came an hour or so into the drive and washed away the snow dusted roads. You would miss it but it was better to not worry about snow if the two of you would need to camp for a night before reaching the place Abe talked about. You and Joel hadn’t said much of anything beside you giving him directions if he needed it. And the two of you learned early on that you didn’t really know how to read a map. 

You got pretty embarrassed after that, and it was one of the main reasons why you hadn’t spoken up. So the two of you rode in silence, you laid your head in the palm of your hand against the passenger window and watched the scenery pass by. 

You don’t know when or how long you fell asleep for but a bump in the road wakes you up. Blinking once or twice and rubbing your eyes with your good hand, you look around to see if any of the scenery has changed. “Sorry.” you hear Joel mumble. 

 “I tried to avoid any bumps or potholes. I didn’t mean to wake you.” He says in a low voice. Almost as if he keeps his tone soft and serene, you’ll fall back asleep. 

Shaking your head to dismiss his apology, you sit up straight from the slumped position you once were in. “I needed to get up anyway.” You yawn a bit, covering your mouth while doing so. “How far have we gotten?”

Joel nudges his head softly to indicate the road ahead, “Not too far now. Maybe six or seven hours til we get there, give or take.” he pauses before saying something else. 

You’ve noticed so far that Joel takes his time in trying to find the right words to say to you. Even if it's just about the simplest  things like the coffee he handed you back at the station. You wondered if there was a reason behind his pauses and his hesitance. Was it because of the way the world was now? Having to choose the right words to say to strangers who may or may not rob you in your sleep. Or was he like this before all of this happened? 

You didn’t think he was a stranger to you, not anymore. And maybe that was stupid to think on your part to let your guard down so early on  and think of him as your partner now. But something in you felt it was alright to. 

“Reckon it might be time to call it a night though. I don’t want to be on these roads when it’s dark. We haven’t seen anyone for miles and we’re lucky, but that luck might run out when the sun goes down. So it’s best to not stay out here and test that.” He finally tells you. You don’t disagree with him either. It's been a straight miracle that the two of you hadn’t seen anyone since the day when the settlement went to shit. 

“Have you ever been here? Abe's place?” You couldn’t pronounce the city from the map that sat on your lap and you were still kind of groggy to even try. 

“Not particularly.  ‘Ve heard of it but I’ve never been. It’s another reason why I’m not too keen on taking these roads at night.” He tells you. 

You hum in response, closing the map and tucking it  back into your backpack that sat at your feet. After a few minutes, Joel found a clearing that was wide enough to push the truck through and head into the forest. The drive was bumpy, and you were thankful that the tires hadn’t popped with how many old branches and rocks it drove over. Once Joel felt it was a good spot deep enough into the forest to not draw any attention he parks the truck and shuts off the engine. 

“Okay-” you say to gather yourself while unbuckling your seatbelt and turning to open the truck door. Your hand on the cold medal.  ready to push it open until you  feel a gentle touch against your elbow that stopped you. 

“Wait-” Joel hesitates, removing his hand from your arm in the process. He looks at you, pausing again like he wants to say something else after that but falters. He turns his head to look out the front window then the rear view mirror before he eventually speaks. 

“Let me take a look around first, just in case.”He asks you shyly as if you would deny his request. To take the initiative to look out for any danger before you come out. 

And maybe you would've put up a fight a few hours ago, but your body hasn’t fully woken up from your nap. Still fuzzy, warm and comfortable in your sitting position. You nod your head in which gives Joel the reassurance of you staying put until he says it's safe.

With the light slam of the truck door, you see Joel’s fleeting form in your side view mirror. Gun in one hand and flashlight in the other, he walks around the area you two have called home for the night to make sure it’s safe. And you tried to stay awake, you really did, but the sleep called you back so easily that you slipped right back into it. 

When your door opens unexpectedly you awake in fright. Your eyes widen as you frantically pull out the knife that you were sitting on the whole ride. Your healing hand is screaming at the harsh friction.

 “Hey-Hey it’s me. It’s just me, you’re okay.”Joel says to you with his hands raised. You refocus your eyes and see that Joel is in fact in front of you. It’s not a raider that killed Joel and now is after you and the goods in the truck. Just the man that’s been your traveling partner these few days. The man you’re starting to trust with your life.

With his eyes never leaving yours, he nods his head softly. Silently telling you that it’s okay, there’s nothing to be afraid of. That it’s just him. He places one of his hands on yours in a sign of comfort before slowly reaching for your knife. “Sorry I scared you. I tapped on the window but it seemed like you were out cold.” 

You nod your head in response. Placing a hand against your chest, feeling the rapid pitter patter of your heartbeat from the scare. You close your eyes for a second to try and catch your breath as you inhale and exhale slowly. You hear the soft mutter of Joel repeatedly telling you that you’re okay and that it was just him. He’s still so close to you, the warmth of his body, the smell of his skin and the sound of his voice help you to relax. You open your eyes when you feel Joel's  calloused thumb move lightly back and forth against the top of your hand. Continuing the gesture, he uses his other hand to take the knife out of yours. 

Looking down at his hand placed on top of your injured one, your heart doesn’t let up from the rapid heartbeat. Now it has a different meaning. Not from being afraid of dying or being tortured or whatever bad thought you had moments before. But from the small gesture of tenderness from the quiet man in front of you. 

As quickly as the gesture happens it goes aways. As Joel clears his throat, moves his hand and steps back. He moves enough for you to get out of the truck. 

“The spot is good. Once it gets dark, you won't be able to see the truck from far away. I had a hard time lookin’ even now.” That explains why you were able to fall asleep. He had been gone for a while. 

“We might have to keep the fire low tonight or even just sleep in the truck after we eat to keep ourselves from sticking out in the dark just in case.” He explains to you.

“Makes sense.” you say to him as you pull a few items from the back seat of the truck. “I’ll get dinner started then.”

The two of you work silently.  Joel goes around to collect pieces of wood and bark  to make a small fire. You gather a few cans of food to start dinner. Noticing that the supply was getting scarcely low, even with the small amount of things you found in the gas station. Making a mental note to tell Joel about it later, you sit on the ground across from him while he gets the fire going. You place the cans down in front of your crossed legs and get to opening them with your knife. 

The sounds of aluminum cracking and the crackling of burned wood filled your ears as you worked to open the cans. The tip of your tongue sticking out of your mouth absentmindedly as you push through the top of the can with your knife firmly. 

“What are you doin’?”

You look up to see Joel staring at you, still kneeled in front of the slow growing fire.Your tongue going back in your mouth as you pick  up the can you already have half open.  You hold it up and look at him confused. “Making dinner.”

“I see that.  But why are you using the knife? You tryin’ to get a cut on your other hand?” He asks you smugly, a small faint smile curling on his lips. 

You roll your eyes, “This is how I always do it. How do you think we had cold tomato soup last night? Or When we had uh- slimy chicken soup the other night.”

“I have a can opener.” He states. It was true, he did have a can opener. A  small one that annoyed the hell out of you with how hard you had to grip the metal and turn it with all your might. You’ve used can openers all your life and you had never seen a can opener as shitty as that one.  “I know you do.” You tell him. 

“And yet you still want to use that to open it? You could cut yourself.” He points at your knife. “Hey. If I don’t use this, I will be battling with that stupid thing for 10 minutes to open one, let alone two. This is way is easier.” You explain as you extend out your knife.

“Let me do it then so you won’t overwork your hand.” Joel says as he begins to stand up. 

“No, no, I’m fine Joel. You get that fire going.”

Joel shakes his head, the small gleam in his still there before he lets out a breath that can almost sound like a chuckle. “Well be careful, that’s all I’m saying.”You hum a response and get back to work, your tongue sticking back out as you concentrate. Nearly finishing the first can, you still feel the heaviness of someone staring at you. Looking up to see Joel watching you and your hands work against the aluminum can.

“Well I can’t work carefully with you staring so hard. I’m gonna lose my focus.” you tell him dramatically. He relents by lifting his hands up in surrender, turning back his focus on the fire. You open the second can a lot faster without his ogling. 

After the fire was set and the cans were warming , the two of you sat by the fire.  The sun was setting, the sky nearly dark and the sleeping bags underneath you both to aid against the cold damp ground. Your jacket zipped up to your neck and Joel’s zipped up to his chest. 

With fire crackling embers that float toward the sky, the moon hovering over you and the stars twinkling in the night. It almost feels normal. Like you’re out camping instead of surviving and it nearly makes you start crying. How nothing will ever be the same again.You would think after dealing with raiders and runners and whatever the hell else that's out there for a couple years would make you used to it. And it did for the most part. But there’s always that small faint feeling that creeps up on you when you hope the next day will be normal. That you wake up and you're back in your apartment waking up on your couch from this crazy dream

.

Clearing your throat, you force the thought away. You carefully pick up the warm can wrapped in one of your shirts to keep yourself from burning your hands. You blow lightly against your spoon to keep the food from burning your mouth before eating. You eat in silence, occasionally stealing glances at Joel who looks as if he’s staring right at you. But you know he isn’t. He’s looking past your shoulder seeing if there’s any danger lingering in the dark. Hiding behind a tree waiting to sneak on you both at the perfect moment. 

“I think we’re okay.”you say to him.

 His eyes move towards you before flicking down back to the can of frank and beans you gave him a few minutes prior. “You did a sweep before you started eating. If there was someone out there, they probably would’ve come out by now.” You don’t know if you were saying this is for his reassurance or yours. 

Joel eats a couple spoonfuls before speaking, “Can never be too sure.” he shrugs. 

“We should clear this up soon and call it a night in the truck just in case.” 

You don’t fight him on the decision. He’s kept the two of you safe for this long and you hadn’t complained, so you weren’t going to complain now. The scar on your palm itches in remembrance of how he saved you the first time. 

Joel finishes his can before you, so he begins to gather the items you brought out back into the truck. You finish your food right when he’s done, the only thing left to do was roll the sleeping bag that was under you and to put out the fire. Joel pours a small amount of water on the flames and stomps the rest out, making the small area turn nearly pitch black. 

The air is colder without the heat of the blazing orange. You opted not to put your sleeping bag away, but to use it as a makeshift blanket for the truck. With your passenger door open, you slide into the seat of the car, tossing your backpack in the back, Joel doing the same. 

You let out a sigh, trying to get comfortable but you somehow feel Joel’s stiff movements. You turn to look at him and see his door still open, half of his body out of the truck. “You okay?”

Joel and his hesitance. He stares at you for a few seconds. “I’m gonna  check again before we call it a night. Just to see how the truck looks at night and see if we need to move or not.”You don’t respond to him immediately, and it seems to almost make Joel falter in his words. “Okay.”you pause, “Be careful.” He nods his head before getting out fully, telling you he’ll be right back. 

“Wait!” you say a little loudly. Joel opens the door and sticks his head in first with his eyebrows raised at your request. You twist in your seat to get to your backpack, and pull out your knife and slowly hand it out to him. His lips slowly quirk up into a smile as a way of thanking you. “Lock the door. I’ll knock on the back of the trunk first so I won’t startle you again.”

With the plan set, Joel closes the door and gets swallowed by the darkness of the night. Your heartbeats a bit quicker when you think of anxious “what-ifs”. What if he doesn’t come back? What if he does and he’s hurt? What if there actually is someone waiting in the shadows for the right moment to act?

Morals were the last thing on anyone’s mind in this world. Now, it was only about survival of the fittest. No matter what you had to do or who you had to hurt to see another day. And in the beginning, it made you sick. The killing and the screams and everything else in between. Some days it still does. 

But with Joel, it felt a little easier. Especially with how cautious and attentive he’s been today. From what you’ve gathered from the short time of being at his side, he seems to have always been a cautious and attentive man. But since the gas station, since the call with Abe, he’s even more so. You won’t ask him about it though. You won’t pry just yet because it makes you feel safe. Something you haven’t felt in a long time and you truly don’t know what he’ll say if you ask him. Or that he’ll stop altogether.

Just as Joel had said, you hear two taps against the back of the truck before seeing Joel’s dark form. You reach over the front seat and unlock his door so he can get inside. 

“All good?” you ask him.

 He takes a second putting his flashlight in one of the cupholders and starts to make himself comfortable.  Letting out a sigh of relief or exhaustion (you couldn’t tell which one). He finally  nods, “Could hardly see the damn thing in the dark, and even with the light.” he gestures to said flashlight. 

“That's good news.” Joel hums in agreement. 

The two of you sit in silence, the only sound is crickets in the trees and the rustling of forest animals. “Nearly forgot-”Joel says as he takes out your knife and hands it to you. 

“Oh.”you say in surprise, forgetting yourself that you had given it to him in the first place. You were glad he didn’t have to use it and told him as such. He agreed right along with you. 

“So when we get to Abe’s place, what’s next?” you ask him softly in the dark. If it wasn’t from the moon cascading its light against the front glass of the truck, you probably wouldn't be able to see him. You can’t see much as you would with the daylight or even the evening haze. But enough to see that his eyes open when you ask him the question. 

“Keep moving I guess.” He says simply. “Abe said we could stay temporarily but we won’t know how the place is until we get there. We don’t know how secluded it is or if it sticks out like a sore thumb so, we can’t really make much plans until we get there.”

You turn to the sound rustle at the side of your door, but don’t see anything. And Joel doesn’t make any movements that indicate danger. If you listen as hard as you can, you can hear the small sounds of squeaking. A rat or a squirrel you tell yourself with a sigh. 

You subconsciously scratch at your clothed palm as you look out the window. Accepting that the rustle sounds weren’t an animal but a raider. 

“Lemme take a look at this.” Joel says as he softly takes your injured hand into his. It causes you to move your attention from outside to him. Turning your head you watch as Joel repositions himself so he’s turn slightly towards you to get a better grip on your hand. “How’s it feeling?”

You shrug, “It doesn’t really hurt anymore, just itches from time to time.”

He nods before slowly untucking the end part of the cloth. “Should be okay to take this off now.” 

You watch as Joel holds your hand in his as he attentively unwraps the cloth. Despite telling him you’re not in pain he’s still just as gentle as the first time he helped you. After the last piece of gauze falls from your hand, the two of you see a red angry scar in your palm. A scab forming over it. 

You slowly make a fist with your scarred hand a few times to see how it feels. It’s not all the way healed, but it’s freeing to not have the gauze on all the time. Joel hasn’t said a word as he watches you make a fist and open your hand back up again. He uses his thumb to lightly trace the scar. Your breath falters slightly from the sudden touch. You hope he didn’t hear it. 

“How’s that?” He asks, staring at you, waiting for your reply. 

You nod your head, Joel turns back to your scar and this time his thumb rubs against it a bit firm then before. It stings a little but it isn’t terrible and you tell him as such. 

He nods at the information before softly placing your hand back down on the truck’s center console. “Good. Should be fine then without the cloth. It needs to breathe so it can heal fully.”

After that, silence engulfs you both as you try to sleep, but sleep doesn’t come to you as quickly as it did hours before. Thinking too much about these past few days. About Joel and how safe he’s made you feel. And how he didn’t leave you to go to that other place Abe had mentioned. You never would have thought you would have partnered up with just one man for as long as you have been with him. You’ve been with groups with men before, you’ve been alone and you even stayed at settlements or bad attempts at QZs. But never a one on one partner like this. 

“Thank you by the way.” You say out loud without much context for him to understand. You hear Joel turn his head towards you but you don’t look at him. Your eyes straight as you squint to watch the trees move slightly against the cold wind.  

“You don’t have to thank me for that darlin’, I told you already it wouldn’t have been right-” Joel starts to explain to you seriously. The endearing name hits your heart, making you turn your head the second he says it. But you don’t speak on it as Joel pleading eyes tell you not to. You assume it as an accident and try not to make anything out of it. Thinking it’s that southern hospitality subconsciously creeping back out of him. 

“No, not that.” You slide the sleeping back from your lap up to your chest to keep yourself as warm as possible against the cold to distract yourself. You take a breath, 

“Thank you for letting Abe know I was there, that I was with you. With how shit this world is now, it's still very surprising to not get tricked or left behind.” you exhale out with a humorless laugh. 

You sneak a look at Joel to see if he smiles even a centimeter at your terrible attempt at a joke but he stares at you with an intensity that you’ve only seen twice. The first time when Joel rescued you from your near death experience and the second when he was on the radio with Abe. It causes you to freeze in your seat and not dare try to move your eyes away from his. “I’m not gonna leave you.” he tells you. 

Those five words, so simple yet mean so much. How serious it sounds when he says it to you. His eyes almost daring you to say something otherwise, and you’re almost tempted to.  And it’s as if a weight is lifted off your shoulders and your chest, you sink a bit into your seat. You nod your head softly to him in understanding before turning your head to your window. 

A small smile grows on your lips as you see small white flakes fall from the sky. 

“It’s snowing.” you say quietly. Joel doesn’t say anything to you, but you don’t mind. Feeling comfortable in the silence as you watch the snowflakes fall down. And slowly but surely, your eyes drift close and you fall asleep. 

———————

Taglist: @hoemadegrace @ninjarose23 @mandeepandee1997 @sheepdogchick3

[literaila]

shoes (part one)

tasm!peter x fem!reader 

summary: 

“apparently dating your boss is a 'conflict of interest.'" 

"i can't imagine why."

warnings: haha, just lots of nothing, harry is there, peter is there, reader is there, rich people stuff, mentions of alcohol, secrets that only i know 

a/n: two in one night???? yes. i’ve been sitting on this for like seven years. (cowboy like me). 

*

peter doesn't often pay attention to people's shoes. 

he's never been inclined to stare at the ground, or, at least, to stare at the ground and not watch the strange way it seems to rumble beneath him. to watch people walk like he might look up and find them smiling back at him. 

no, he doesn't have time to look down and appreciate the scuff marks on someone's nikes. he doesn't want to stare at someone's wingtips and wonder where he can get a pair for himself. 

his old tennis shoes are enough comfort for him to ignore the tears in the soles, and the laces are only slightly frayed at the edges. a bit black from years of neglect and errant ideas of buying the exact same pair.

but tonight, standing in this crowded room and listening to people politely chuckle, he's staring at the shoes beneath him. 

there are high heels, wingtips, and fancy leather slippers that probably cost more than his rent, and amongst them all, his converse are certainly a conversation starter. 

that is, if peter was actually attempting to talk to anyone. 

he can hear all of these people speaking about investments, the stock market, and the kids these days that just don't want to work, and all of the rich-people-talk that he doesn't get to hear often. even staring at the floor like he's doing, looking strangely obsessed with feet, he knows whose granddaughter is valedictorian and who plans to become the next state senator. 

but he doesn't hear anything necessarily useful. 

nothing about strange men growing claws, or people dying in alleyways with no one around. no one's grandson has become a living wart, and no one here cares if another building gets destroyed by some strange--and necessary--experiment. 

the shoes are nice, though. he can follow a person around the room just by following their footsteps. he can watch people walk and act like he's not supposed to be here. 

because he's really not. 

the fact that jameson happened to give him this job--begrudgingly, with a frown on his face and a hang of his head--is a miracle. and a disaster because lucy, whom peter is replacing, is going to pass her stomach bug to the rest of the office, and then peter will receive the grunt work. 

but he was going to sneak in anyway. he was going to watch from the ceiling--far enough away for shoes to be a mere blur and people to be anaomlys, rather than annoying. he was going to hide in the dark and maybe steal a couple of appetizers. 

instead, he's standing in the middle of the room in his converse, holding his camera like he might actually want to capture some of this. 

the egos and complete ignorance of everything important happening in the world. the smell of money and arrogance. 

peter is thinking about ditching the party--telling jameson that he puked all over some lady's jimmy choo's--when two pairs of footsteps head toward him, rattling like a drum roll. 

high heels and tennis shoes, not unlike his own. 

he's staring down at a wonderful pair of jordan's when the approaching subject clears his throat, and a flash of teeth causes peter to finally look up. 

and meet wide eyes, staring right back at him. 

you're wearing lipstick, bright glitter flashing across cheekbones that didn't need to be defined. you're wearing lipstick and a smirk, like you know that peter's going to get lost staring at you. 

which, currently, he is. 

but your eyes are grinning at him; they are warning him to run. 

and he almost can't look away. 

wouldn't, if not for the arm attached to yours, and a familiar voice saying his name.

"peter," the man says, clapping him on the back and pulling his eyes away from a girl that he probably should've noticed an hour ago. "didn't think i'd be seeing you here." 

why would he? 

harry osborn is giving peter a wide smile, his eyes are reflecting secrets from a childhood peter can't seem to remember currently. 

but may pounded enough etiquette into his head for it to remain, even when everything else doesn't. 

"good to see you," peter says, hugging harry back and finally paying attention, noting a new haircut that is definitely not helping his childhood friend with anything. "if i'd known you were going to be here, i would've found you hours ago." 

harry steps back, straightening his back and looking around. "i'm here in my father's place. he wasn't feeling up to it." 

peter swallows. "he alright?" 

"just a cold, i'm sure," harry shakes his head, sharing an inside joke with peter that neither of them understands. "what're you doing here? finally hooking up with one of the girls from high school?" 

peter bites the inside of his cheek, sharing a short laugh. 

did you finally marry a rich girl? 

"no," he answers, voice still light, eyes still leaning to his right, where you're still standing. "i'm here for work. taking pictures of the banquet for the daily bugle." 

harry nods. "did you get a good one of me?" 

"of course not." 

when harry laughs, peter laughs with him. he looks down again, feeling weirdly comforted that he's not the only one wearing tennis shoes in a place like this. glad that he can tell jameson he spoke to someone. 

he looks up again, shaking his head. and then he turns, clearing his throat. "and you are?" 

when he meets your eyes again, there's a new glint. a flash of lightning beneath the clouds. your mouth opens, but harry speaks before you get the chance. 

"this is y/n davis. my date."

there's a breath, a flash, and someone pops open a bottle of champagne, but peter manages to keep his full attention on you. 

"nice to meet you," you say, a tight smile on your face. 

your voice is soft and stern, like peter shouldn't disagree. 

he's smiling back, but he's not sure that he can hide the surprise on his face. he's sure that he's seen you somewhere before. sure that he recognizes that look on your face... 

"this is her first banquet too," harry adds, pulling you closer. peter can hear your shoes click as you adjust. 

"there's a lot of people. not enough alcohol." 

peter's lip twitches, and yours does the same. 

but harry laughs. "there's an open bar," he whispers to you. "i told you i'd get you a drink whenever you'd like." 

you look away from peter and to the other man. "i'm just kidding." 

harry scoffs, and peter leans back, looking towards the bar that he'd mentioned. "no, i agree," he says, "i thought you guys were supposed to have waiters walking around with cocktails. i have to walk all the way over there for a beer?" 

harry shakes his head. "should've brought a date to do it for you." 

peter shifts on his feet. there's a beat of silence, where he remembers what he's supposed to be doing here, and then swallows. "how long do these typically last?" 

"it's not polite to leave until ten." 

"and if i conveniently left my manners at home tonight?" 

you smile at him, leaning forward--enough so that peter gets a whiff of perfume. "i saw a backdoor around the corner that you could escape through." 

harry rolls his eyes. 

peter pretends to look for the door, already having known where it was. the door he came through--the one he was going to break in through. 

"good to know." 

"have you taken enough pictures?" harry asks, "i haven't been blinded by any flash yet." 

"no one's taking pictures of you," peter says, dryly. "i'm not even sure what jameson wants. i've got a couple of shots of the chandelier, just in case." 

"get a picture of senator jenkins laughing with captain stacey and you're golden," you tell him, looking over to the pair. 

harry laughs. "or you could get a picture of us, and make it the cover." 

peter nods, moving a step back. "good idea." he gestures for the two of you to get closer together, holding his camera up. 

he watches as harry wraps his arm around your waist, and as your natural smile turns into something of a performance. 

still beautiful, though. 

"so, how do you know each other?" peter asks, just as he snaps a shot. he takes another step back, adjusting his settings. 

"she worked for me," harry says, putting on his perfect rich-boy smile. 

peter raises a brow. 

"i was his assistant."  

your words are overly enunciated and you sneak a look over to harry, like you're checking to see if he noticed something. 

peter snorts. "i'd expect nothing less from you, harry." 

"what?" he defends, rolling his eyes. "was i supposed to ignore her?" 

he says it like it shouldn't be possible. 

peter smiles. takes another shot, not caring how it turns out. he tries to get harry's sneakers and your high heels together. 

"and now?" peter continues, letting go of his camera and taking a step toward the two of you, sure that it's time to leave. 

"i work for a legal office now. apparently dating your boss is a 'conflict of interest.'" 

"i can't imagine why," peter responds, eyes flashing. 

you laugh. 

and then someone calls harry's name, and peter blinks, looking away from you and over to his friend. 

"good to see you, peter. call me sometime, we'll get together." harry offers his hand again like they're making a business deal. 

but peter shakes it anyway, nodding. 

"it was nice to meet you," he says to you and watches as you and harry walk away, arm in arm. 

he listens to two synchronized footsteps, but swears he can hear a stutter in there somewhere. just one moment where something has fallen apart. 

and then it's gone, and you look over your shoulder locking eyes with him. 

a storm flashing beneath the smile you send his way, gone as soon as it appeared. 

when you're out of his sight peter is back to standing in the middle of his room, watching the shoes of people he doesn't care to pay attention to. 

*

my masterlist here.

tags:@moonlarking-blog @v1ci0us @preciousbabypeter @alexxavicry @directioner5life @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @localrockstargf  @thestudiouswanderer @take-my-hand-time-boy @thoughtsofagodlovingsunflower @nyomjoon  @moo-b1tch @raindropstearsandtea @rqmanoff @hollandweather @wetcoldnoodle @urlocalavenderhazestan @valvlry @imthatcoolmom @spideysimpossiblegirl    invisibletrolleyson-jeremy  @sharkswaters  @rowniebow @anaislfbv @take-my-hand-time-boy @mileyc111 @starsval @ratsys

[keviniiryuu]

okay like last time, I will compile my reaction/thoughts for ep13 and gbc as a whole :D (i don't do this often bc I can't write well... but..)

I knew it.... I don't like Hina HAHA. Like, I get her, but you really left Nina just like that huh?

Go tell her off! Maybe people will say that Nina is having a hero complex or sticking her nose in to other people's business, but I think it's very brave of her.

Also, ngl, I didn't expect for this to be the reason why she was bullied...

Momoka no......

Miura-san is a goat for this one and why does Subaru looks like she's saying "God, why did it end up being me explaining it to you"

Seriously having this truck right by their agency is a huge slap to the face

Nina Fang (also Nina stop reading the negative comments...)

"I was wrong and Hina was right all long." You know what? Fuck you, Hina. I know at present it's like Hina lowkey pushing Nina and motivating her, but I can't appreciate it that much lmao.

I love the moments where Momoka gets all serious/mature mode

Momoka apologizing.... seeing everyone getting shocked about it.... Honestly, this one broke my heart a bit. Momoka, who had lost all self-confidence, had rebuilt it very slowly because of Nina's and everyone else's trust in her.

So, seeing the song that was made by her with the members in mind not doing well must be a blow to that fragile confidence yet again. She was guilty that she let everyone down.

you're not wrong, nina. i promise you.

Everyone is tired (affectionate) of Nina's outbursts while Momoka looks awestruck... Of course, we will add this to the album of the Momoka Gayze (tm) but I think this is also related to her self-confidence.

I just said that Momoka felt guilty and like how Momoka blew Nina away in Ep. 1, Nina's outburst blew her away in a way that no, no one was blaming Momoka for their failure and the person that she is closest to still believes and trusts in her.

That awestruck gaze, admiring Nina's confidence and unwavering belief for her and the group. To the song. To their decision and that they weren't wrong. Maybe I'm just overthinking it, but let me be lmao.

ugh the softness in her gayze.... i can't...

SHUT THE FUCK UP HINA. Nina is brave enough to do the things no one would normally do!!

bro whoever that was, it's on sight. also momoka, subaru. fight em

tomo no...

sigh... i love togetoge

let them drink!!!

Momoka gayze again

You love this city (and Momoka) and met friends (and a girlfriend) right Nina?

Ngl, I did like the touch that no miracle happened. Like, oh wow, a sudden burst of tickets selling! It is what it is.

First time when i'm sad we didn't get a training arc for Nina playing guitar

I love them

idiot (affectionate)

ngl. the song is not for me HAHAHA but welp. I will take this camera angle. thanks.

Okay, now for GBC as a whole: I adore this show so fucking much. I didn't expect to fall in love with the show when I started watching it, but man. I am so glad that I didn't wait for this to finish and got to wait each week for a new episode with everyone.

Personally, the ending was okay. It feels like it's just the beginning, so it didn't feel like an ending ending. Idk how to explain it. It just.... it's like not everything has been concluded.

Regarding momonina: I am not surprised that nothing happened on camera. But with all the subtext and hints, I will take it. Sure, I wished they addressed the confession more openly, but you can't win it all.

Overall, this is my anime of the season, possibly anime of the year, and definitely one of my all time favorites. Maybe I'll make a post about the ED (since it's an epilogue), about momonina, or my fave moments throughout the season but we'll see haha.

"I wasn't wrong, was I?"

"To fall in love with Girls Band Cry."

[tora-the-cat]

That's some real shit you just said about Hinata in Boruto!! It'd make so much more sense for her to be very indulgent with her children, and it'd better explain why Boruto acts the way that he does.

Instead of being afraid OF her, the more in-character reason should've been because he hates the idea of DISAPPOINTING her. Like god damn, Hinata and Temari are two entirely different characters with veeeeeeeeeery different temperaments; Shikadai fearing Temari MAKES SENSE. She can be scary as hell and she's got no qualms with using corporal punishment!! WHY WOULD HINATA DO THE SAME AWFUL SHIT SHE GOT PUT THROUGH to her own kids?????? It doesn't make sense!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yeah yeah, I get that narratively, it ties back into Naruto thinking "Moms are scary" and continues the idea that the more things change, the more they stay the same. BUT. Boruto and Himawari should've thought that AFTER Hinata popped a can of whoop ass on someone who threatened her family; NOT by unleashing her wrath on her fucking kids!!!!!!!!!!

And I'm not too sure if you're reading the Boruto manga too or if it's just the anime, but there's a scene in the manga that's HIGHLY out of character as well. When I saw it I was just like, "Wtf????" So unfortunately it's not just an anime specific problem... :(

Right??? Hinata and Naruto are both the kinds of parents that would spoil their kids fucking rotten, cause they just don't know any better. poor auntie Sakura had to teach Boruto table manners because Hinata is scared of being too assertive and Naruto never learned them. Hinata and Naruto would NOT be perfect parents, but they'd be bad parents in a very specific way. They'd be overindulgent. Naruto would treat them like adults WAY too young without realizing it's bad. Hinata would never believe a bad thing a teacher said about her kid if the teacher was not LITERALLY Shino Aburame (this is, in fact, why Shino is Boruto's teacher. I will be taking no further questions). And we almost see this in the show!! Boruto IS arrogant! He IS selfish! He has never been denied a thing in his life! His mommy says he's a miracle!!!

But then. Boruto talks about Hinata. and it's just like....'haha, moms, am I right? moms? all moms are exactly the same? annoying and scary but only COMEDICALLY scary. because they're women' and like. sigh. so close Ikemoto now try again without the sexism. And maybe. Read Naruto?

Yes!! You see, Boruto being afraid of disappointing Hinata makes a lot of sense!!! Honestly, another point on Hinata and Naruto being flawed parents is that Boruto....probably has to do a fair amount of emotional labor at home. Not gonna get into it cause that would be its own post, but Boruto is probably VERY aware of his mom's emotional state and REALLY hesitant to upset her, just cause it sucks when his mom is upset and it always feels at least a little like his fault. #eldestkidproblems or whatever ykyk. Being afraid of disappointing her would just make so much sense given the characters and their dynamics, while still filling the purpose of showing how light Boruto gets off for domestic terrorism lmao

As far as the 'moms are scary' throughline....We've got plenty of scary moms. Naruto thought moms were scary because he grew up a pariah that was probably threatened by MANY moms to not talk to their kids, he's not familiar with 'protective anger' because no one has ever gotten angry on his behalf, and Kishimoto thinks its funny to pretend women pose any threat to his cool male characters #feminism. It just so HAPPENS that if he DID have a living mom she would've been scary as shit, but. in canon it's just not a perspective it really makes sense for Boruto to have picked up because it was cultivated by very specific rearing factors.

Much as I would LOVE for Hinata to have a badass protective moment, I sadly doubt it's gonna happen, given that post shippuden Hinata seems to just....not be a shinobi anymore. which, and I say this with full scincerity, good for her! But like. the fact that she can't even stick to a wall to LITERALLY save her life in The Last is. blood boiling lmao. And! even if she did get a little protective moment, it'd be cool for her kids to realize how cool she is, but even then they wouldn't really be scared of her, you know? Like event trying to give Boruto the benefit of the doubt, there's no angle I can come at this where it makes sense for Boruto to be SCARED of Hinata Uzumaki.

I have watched an entire six episodes of the Boruto anime, and all due respect I have less then zero intention of reading the manga. As you can see, I'm clearly having a great time. SO I have NOT read that scene, but I'm more then happy to take your word for it lmao. thanks for the ask <3

[yuseirra]

My brain keeps running on its own trying to formulate a way to make sense out of it all but at this point, I wonder if it'd be worth theorizing(If I can think of something good I'll still love to share :) )

Believe it or not, I'm very, very, very stern about trying to stay true to canon.. Because working with existing characters, they have their cores don't they? I really do want to care about portraying them in ways that are true to how they are in their respective stories, that's what makes them, them

With onk.. I'm starting to wonder...(yeah I just started;) this may be the first time where I may go oh let's just ditch canon I'll do whatever I want depending how it goes. Maybe I still believe some sort of miracle may happen in the remaining chapters that'd wrap everything together at may it be cluttersome(sorry but there is literally no room left for it to be able to meet its closure in a beautiful and graceful way with a deep sense of nuance and depth the way this work deserves. It's INCREDIBLY SHORT. It cannot happen within that amount of space it needs at least ten decently lengthy chapters.) but..I don't know~~.....

Oh I'm more concerned than hyped and it's been that way ever since I started vigorously drawing for this series again this July tbh 154 was GOOD, how come everything went downhill from there haha😂.. That chapter had me so hooked and I felt I knew all the answers that were to come from that point forth. I really had a huge intuition of how things would play out(and surprisingly, the possibility is actually still there)

I don't think I'm the type of fan who can ignore canon and do what I want, I've never been that way and I can't bring to convince myself of what's not there (this means, I sincerely believe in all the things I've been drawing o<-<) but... Let's see how it goes. I was so stressed and tense ever since I started drawing hikaai...I don't like being unsure of things...what if they're totally different from what I make of them...but seeing how CANON's going, maybe I don't have to care so much either if it's doing whatever it wants, canon feels so unhinged, was there ANYONE who was able to predict what were to happen 100%? What are they doing?; So yeah.

Oh;; I hope Aqua's okay. It's just...so cruel. I've been annoyed with him but that's because I wanted him to live!!! Why doesn't he- why did he HAVE to do THAT?? Hurt his dad and everyone he loves and even himself, I'm trying to find a reasoning that's convincing enough for me to comprehend just how this could make sense and hold some kind of message although it's downright horrifying; I kept asking in my posts all yesterday right? What message are thet trying to send with this and what could be the point? I can understand if they do a good job with it, I've been putting my effort in order to make out what good may come out of it but I guess only the author would know for now

I don't know where this post is going myself, I'm just writing out my thoughts, this series may have taught me a lot about myself that I wasn't so aware of...

I guess when conflicts appear I end up going, "they couldn't have had malicious intent, could they?" on many occasions, you really don't know what the other party can be thinking so for most cases, it just feels better to believe they didn't mean harm or evil. Maybe I'm being that way about Hikaru but AI LOVED THAT GUY. I didn't have a lot of thoughts about him before that dropped! I couldn't make a clear judgment so I just left my interpretation of him on hold. Oh ;v;).. It's been REALLY ROUGH holding out for him after that happened pft will that pay off.. That guy's still so ambiguous. I rather him be a good person. The story is better if he were. I guess believing in someone is hard but I'll.. Do that till I can. I think Ai would have?

You know, if I were Ai, I'd end him with my own hands if he became that messed up. That's how I drew that one comic after 162. I'd give him a hug and then end him lol because I'd feel responsible in a way. It's ridiculous and tragic how things turned to be the way it is but it doesn't feel so resolved either

I'm afraid about the fate of this series but at least not long left now. Hopefully I can still draw Ai and her bf in a wholesome manner, I really cared for those guys and I'd love to stick around and do more for it at least for awhile

[incandescentflower]

The Miracle of Teddy Bear random thoughts - finished episode 3 and yes, these episodes are LONG but also how is so much happening already?

We've got a schizophrenia plot, a revealed twin situation, obviously the mystical bear who was given to Nut ten years ago, which is also the time when Neung died.

Saen is not dead and was not married to Na but is married to nosy neighbor lady, Jan. I appreciate that every character is somehow interrelated here. If you are introduced to someone, they matter in this story. Probably best to not forget that.

We now know Tarn is a relative of Nut's (unless he is related by marriage??) and his coma state is clearly connected to Tofu's transformation.

I think the only thing that hasn't sit right with me is Nut's reaction to Tofu initially. He seems to have thought he was related to Neung and not possibly Neung himself? Which to me would be the obvious first impulse of an amnesiac who looks exactly like someone you know.

Of course we don't get the cops involved and treat this as a missing person's case because of drama rules, that I accept, but Nut obviously thinks he could be related to Neung at the very least and waits a long time to try to find out. I guess this could be related to whatever painful feelings he has about Neung but you have a very vulnerable person on your hands, maybe think about that.

Though typing that thought made me think - it's clear that Nut has shut down. He already has a vulnerable person on his hands he can't manage. But still, I am curious if we have more reason for him knowing for certain Tofu was not Neung since he did not know Neung was dead. (unless he did? wouldn't the facebook page have had posts? he didn't seem to be someone newly grieving)

The show does feel very intentional with everything so I don't think this weird tension is accidental. But I am really curious about what else we don't know about Nut's past with Neung.

I love Inn in this already. He has been heart-breakingly perfect. You can feel his love for Nut and wanting to help him without having the slightest idea how and we are all with him as we try to figure out what could help Nut deal with his pain.

And Job is fantastic, too. Despite Nut constantly lashing out, you can't help empathize with him still.

What the hell even is in the rest of the 13 episodes haha

[p1x1x]

O o o o o can you describe the dynamics between Insight and Maya that you use? 😌

i initially didnt wanna answer this bc i am trying to explore this a little bit through lagrange and insight art but 😔😔 i’m very slow and impatient . and honestly i havent fully fleshed out everything so i might as well word vomit here. subject to change in the future, but for now…

what initially draws insight to maya is what maya represents to her. this “love” she has for people, for worlds, for what’s left behind, also extended towards maya. it didnt feel quite “romantic” and felt more like a “god loves all” vibe to me at first. but insight’s heart has never been set so aflame to this extent, so she’s really into “inspecting” maya…

personally i think there’s some different intention as to why insight, and let’s be real, pretty much assaulted maya (i honestly dont know if you’re allowed to say the actual terms here but i dont want to try tumblr lol). not that whatever intention would make it okay irl (that should be a given) but as far as the minds of fictional characters go—this sort of abstractish idea she’s been chasing is finally before her. after watching from afar for so long, she finally has something tangible, a form to work with…

(but then again, maybe she is just a gay freak yk. Damn they really wrote that in!!!! but yeah i like to think she’s making sure maya was “real”… in a way that was super weird. who can stop her though she’s got god-like powers…)

i like to think the “unraveling” nature that both maya and lagrange experience are the same… that everyone’s “construction” here is made up of glass—very, very fine glass thread. it’s one of the laws of arcaea, maybe, in the same way atoms make up our world… or something like that. anyway, while it probably happened just because insight was doing some fuckery with her powers and pulling her out of arcaea (and thus outside the laws of arcaea)… the idea of breaking something down to its very base construction seems like something insight would do to get to know this real, natural wonder of a miracle. nothing like the artificial miracles made by fellow seekers : P

i haven’t really seen anyone talk about it anywhere… but insight finding the making of miracles by her (or presumably any other seeker’s) hands unsettling is Interesting to me… enough to leave to search… it’d feel like it’d make sense if she just thought it was “boring” given her dramatic nature, but it’s discomforting. yet she loves other worlds, other things left by dead creators and im just. Wondering why… maybe bc i make stuff i think its an odd view and im probably really delusional right now considering i think she is set up to be an antagonist to arcaea or whatever and Oh look they’re starting to converge character stories together haha.

(i think this is a point of interest between lagrange and insight… insight might question the “honesty” of these miracles, could they even call them “miracles?” but in a jabby way… but lagrange’s line of thinking to me is “nothing happens without reason” even applied to “miracles”: that in their god-like state, of course miracles would be something that’s just made, it’d feel like a miracle to humans anyway…)

(so perhaps it’s the “certainty” of it all that she finds discomfort in, the rigidity that comes with a song, a lullaby, a Prediction… and why she loves arcaea for its uncertainty, fragility, birth from Emotion rather than logical structure (lagrange did say arcaea lacked intelligent design lololol) she still finds looking at the creations of other things fascinating but arcaea is truly something different in this universe…)

Tangent aside back to shikimaya: insight loves maya for what she is. i do like to think she’d try to find out everything about her (hobbies… singing? what else might maya like?) but the way she wants to know feels so separated as a person if that makes any sense? it doesnt make the love any less real its just Really weird. but she loves wholly!! i dont think she’d ever stop loving!!! truly fascinated!!!!

as for maya -> insight… maya is scared as fuck at first but it’s like. Hey i did wish for pain. and despair. it’s not like the guilt went away when she decided to walk the path of light. she did find understanding with those sad memories after all, now familiar in certain despair… but its never said what form insight keeps maya in when she takes her, so i just assumed she’s still in that string state… without her physical senses in tact, it feels like she’s barely existing in a void (like lagrange in the End). but its not by her own will, so there’s the fear factor adding onto losing all sense of time. the only thing that could come by in this state is insight herself—so for her own sanity she clings to her presence, otherwise she’d just have to be there as a… string of consciousness… she uncomfortably likes insight at some point (there is nothing she can do so. brain might as well try to feel Somewhat Fine with it. Copium. at least insight would never hate her (she has shown nothing of the sort ever)

really weird codependency (on one side at least) yuri to me. i dont know anymore .i like to make stuff up. i need to sleep