#but who knows if I might change that later idk
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Some of my thoughts for your conversation about inaction towards antiBlack/racist behavior in shared online spaces (particularly fandom).
1. "I dont see it / I dont go here" - this was my first thought/defensive reaction and in reading others responses I think its a shared one.
Tumblr is perhaps unique in how purposely you can shape your experience and limit what you interact with. Blocking someone just cause is fully acceptable and expected here.
So, when Ive seen depictions of 'Black' characters that made me go, "Mmm idk man" its been my policy to just block and move on. Less chance of seeing a racist in the tags I like in the future *shrug*
Now on other sites perhaps there is some consideration that could be given to not wanting to boost something racist via interaction...but that's not how Tumblr works. Furthermore your reminder that seeing things go unopposed is the problem hit me like a frying pan to the face. Because...yeah duh.
We know the 'social rules' of this platform, you report/block the porn bots, you dont spam tags for engagement (or report if you see it), add image descriptions, reblog things you like etc. Would it be so hard to leave a simple comment on the things you want to see be changed?
2. "What if I do it wrong/I dont know this fandom/Not my place to speak?" - I firmly believe the main reasons people dont meaningfully engage with posts here or on other platforms is two fold: Responses and Outting.
If you were to post a mild comment saying for example, "Hey, feels kinda weird how you're only talking about this Black character being violent in this show. Why dont you check out this blog post by CBC, a Black artist who really digs into this topic more?"
Now you are expected to 1. 'deal' with whatever that persons response is and 2. Anyone an see and respond to what you said.
I think we generally expect random stranger interactions on the Internet to be unpleasant but, like if we are putting the focus on caring about Black people in out spaces...shits already 'unpleasant' for them.
Its time to start firing fireworks off in our neighborhoods to keep the rents low so to speak. You, non-Black folk (i.e me), dont have to wage endless comment battles with someone who wont listen. Just stating what you are seeing is enough, its marking that post for other people coming along. Forcing the question, "Y'all are we cool with this?"
As for messing up/having a record of things you said someone else might take issue with later on. Yeah but thats already happening whenever you reblog anything.
If you actually spoke out of turn just say, "Im sorry thanks for letting me know" and move on with your life. Otherwise folks on here will actually harass you over your shipping preferences so your rolling those dice already. Why not do it for something better worth it?
3. A Note - Genuinely thank you for posing these thoughtful question and just honestly expressing your frustration/hurt. It helped me think more deeply about some old habits.
Thank you!
Hm. And you're welcome
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Thaal Sinestro of Korugar
-cracks knuckles-
Here's ALL of his lore that I cooked up:
(warning for: the sheer ungodly length of this, mentions of death, and a low-key humorous mention of alien physiology at the end cuz I couldn't help myself--)
(Some of this might still be a slight work in progress and/or may be subject to change later on. I'm not sure yet.)
-----
Backstory:
It wasnāt supposed to end that way. He wanted her to be safe and far away from the threat of action. Unfortunately.. he had made a mistake and it cost him greatly. Both heart and mind.
The loss of his wife.. the loss of his best friend, Abin Surās sister.. it caused quite the disruption in their friendship.
Some time well after that horrible event, Sinestro and Abin got into an altercation. An argument while out on duty. Abin had heard of Sinestroās plans, but he didnāt agree with them. Both men were already still rocky and broken from the loss of Arin. So, when Sinestro was plotting some way of utilizing his GL powers to enforce order and protection.. no matter how unreasonable. Abin Sur lashed out. Calling him crazy, delusional, that nothing will ever bring her back.
Sinestro.. well.. he wasnāt thinking and without any ill intention.. he attacked Abin Sur. He only wanted to try and reason with him. He didnāt mean to do it.. but a stray blast from his ring managed to wreck the ship they were traveling in.. and the blast severely damaged Abin Sur.
..Sinestro fled the ship in horror, not seeing the fate of his friend as the ship hurtled down to a particular blue planet. The thought of having presumably killed his own partner and friend on top of having already dealt with the loss of his wife.. well.
That absolutely destroyed him. Shattered him so deeply.. heās grown distant. Disconnected and apathetic. Bottling up, locking away, and throwing the key away with his emotions..
This was the beginning of the end of his GL career.. and the lead up to him being picked up by the Yellow Corps. The immense fear and angst building up inside him being strong enough he found a new life with the Yellow Lanterns. However, he couldnāt take the life and went rogue. Taking the ring with him and starting his own little sect.
----
imagine. some late series episode that ends with a little close up of some guy who looks a bit like Vincent Price for some reason lowering his newspaper and staring in Guy & Feste's direction as they head back home for the day after having a chat at some outdoor cafe.
you don't know who this weird guy is until it's later revealed that it was Sinestro. He ALSO used his ring to go incognito and appear human so as not to attract any attention while he "stalks" Guy & Feste for some reason idk I didn't think this far.
---
it kinda adds weight to the act of killing him. but like.. it probably killed Sinestro, too.. to do it. maybe it was an accident..? unintentionalā¦ during a fight.. and Sinestro was hiding it. and although Guy reminds him of Abin Surā¦ he hates Guy because he reminds him of Abin Sur and what he did to him. like a weird sort of "reincarnation" thing?? if that makes sense??
Guy being so angry at Sinestro for what he did feels almost cathartic for Sinestro cuz he knows he deserves it.
---
Sinestro sees occasional visions of his wife and friend begging and pleading for his help that will never come. This fuels his fear to power his ring. he needs fear to wield it. and that is a big fear. the repetitive action of losing his wife and friend and not being able to do anything about it.
---
Miscellaneous:
Soranik Natu was given the Natu surname as she was raised by another family. whether on Ungara or Korugar is undecided, but she does keep it.
Sinestro was unable to continue raising her as he was in no condition to do so, and Arin was.. well. out of the picture.
Sinestro sees Soranik and hears her name and he knows that's his daughter and he feels sick. She looks like her mother, he can see it. There's the underlying fear of what she may think of him and how much she may take after him. He is very aware of the terrible things he has done but he is blinded, in a sense, thinking what he is doing is for the greater good. to protect people..
To protect Soranik.
From a fate that fell upon Arin Sur and many others.
---
Soranik is like a combination of the two. her horns are smaller and so are her ears. she has tiny "tusks" (fangs?) compared to her mom.
but she also has elements similar to her dad.
also I can't help but think about Sinestro saying he wishes for his daughter to not become like him, but to instead become more like her mother. honor her memory. it's a terrible loss for the universe for someone like Arin Sur to no longer be in it..
---
I 100% want there to be a moment in an episode where Sinestro's backstory is revealed. likeā¦ his life he had up to when Guy first met him. We get to see just how tragic his backstory is.
There's been some subtle little hints here and there before, like someone from on Oa hearing Guy make a remark about Sinestro's weird earring and they tell him what they know.. how it's actually something very meaningful, a combination of two races and their culture. how it is a show of respect and mourning..
the mourning rituals of both Ungarans and Korugarians came together when Sinestro lost Arin. The piercings worn by those who lost a partner from Korugar.. and the wearing of a specific flora from Ungara..
Sinestro's mournful earring has a unique flora depicted hanging from it. A custom metal made to resemble that flora from Ungara.. to honor the memory of Arin Sur. He wears it always except when bathing or resting, but he keeps it with him ever so close at all times.
Should he lose that earring at allā¦ wellā¦
we might just see Sinestro become a Red Lantern.
---
I do kinda like the idea that Ungara and Korugar are relatively close planets with their own races inhabiting them. and because of this, the two races are uniquely compatible, genetically speaking, which leads to how Soranik Natu was born at all when Thaal Sinestro got with Abin Sur's sister, Arin Sur. Sinestro & Arin were the first ones to discover this.
Also, Ungarans are taller than Korugarians. Soranik stands a little taller than Sinestro.
Sinestro is 5'5" (average)
Soranik is 5'9"
Arin & Abin Sur: 6'6" 6'8" (average)
---
(Warning for alien physiology talk & humor)
what if Sinestro has never seen a human before and the first time he sees Guy shirtless in the Oa locker room he notices Guy only has 2 n1ps and Sinestro is like:
"Only 2? However will you feed all your young? Surely they should starve with such a lack of bodily provisions."
And Guy stands there extremely confused. Asks him what in the ever-loving heck he's talking about. Sinestro responds by merely removing his own clothes and presents his 8 n1ps.
Guy is understandably disturbed by the implications now registering in his mind.
If Guy ever mentions pregnancy, Sinestro responds "The women carry the young and the men provide for the young. ..What does your kind do? Don't tell me the women do all the work and that you're utterly useless? You humans are quite the odd creature."
Guy is very much offended.
#my art#phone art#thaal sinestro#sinestro#green lantern#yellow lantern#sinestro corps#abin sur#arin sur#soranik natu#guy gardner#//long post#may as well tag them all in here#ask to tag#suggestive??#cw blood#tw blood#tw death mention#CAN YOU GUYS TELL HOW MUCH MY BRAIN LATCHED ONTO THIS? I hope posting this helps to remove him from my brain space.
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Maggie in Reacher AU
Face Claim: Dominique McElligott
Originally from Lostwing, Maggie moved to the big city of New York in search for greater things, as her family had asked of her. She landed an amazing deal as a model for an organization called The Seven. This is where her life took a drastic turn. She married the sweetheart John Gill.man, who was not as he seemed. For a time, she chose to survive to this, put up with both abuse and torment, until one day she made her desire to divorce public ā the only way she actually got John to sign the papers. Despite this, his viciousness only increased. It led her to run away back to the only place she knew: Lostwing.
Though she is not as the locals remember her, donning a similarly vicious and aloof attitude as her ex-husband, she was nonetheless welcomed back to the place she used to call home. Here, her status as an ex-model is ignored, she is just one of the locals, like the rest of them. Because of this, she thought she was safe there, that neither John nor her past sins would follow her to that backwater town... But, she'll soon discover she cannot run from the skeletons in her closer that easily.
#;; MAEVE ;; reacher verse.#;; MAEVE ;; self ; visage.#welcome to the reacherverse girlieeeeee#i'm just shoving everyone to lostwing for now cause I want them all together#but who knows if I might change that later idk
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Winn + Mac fusion idea. lalala.
#clemart#uhm. yeah sure boss up#ttcc#toontown corporate clash#mac opsys#winn dos#<- technically#Crome#idk i got inspired by a lot of the cog fusions going around. a lot of my notes are in the second one#if you can read them. i rushed them bc i wasnt planning on sharing but some of my friends like them ++ i had a change of heart#i dont think ive seen a toon/toon fusion so heh.. you know what i had to do#actually ive had the idea for a little bit. i just needed a push of inspiration#i tried to make them a nice mix between the two but i fear they lean too heavily on one side or another..sighs and kicks rock#technically speaking i wouldve left their arms a solid blue or maybe a blue/white. but i feel like with the hair the yellow is#blocked out. so i thought doing half blue half yellow would be a bit more balancing#like winns (and macs to a degree) design i put the green on the clothing rather than the body#this is a little more colorful than what i think is possible but tch whatever. sniffles. gets scared#i think ive given up on trying to keep drawing toon species that are only in game. go my bugs and jerboas who cares anymore#i might remove the blue from the tail later..idk....
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It's so weird that in angel s5e2 they do a little flashback to Spike's blaze of glory moment in the last episode of Buffy... but they leave out Buffy saying "I love you". It's such a blatant omission, the ONLY omission from that scene, that it feels totally deliberate and kind of dishonest. Considering a lot of the Spike and Angel moments in S5 revolve around their jealousy and rivalry towards each other, and a LOT of that is to do with Buffy like... Why would you leave it out? It's a pretty big moment for Spike's character in general.
As far as I recall they don't even mention it, they just mention the fact that Spike and Buffy have had a lot of sex compared to bangel's ONE disastrous time (that they remember) but it does kind of cheapen it for Spike. A big motivation for him not leaving LA could have been him not wanting to hold Buffy to her words, since he clearly doesn't believe that she loves him (even though she does, as per Whedon). He presumably thinks she only said that to make him feel better in his final moments, because she wouldn't have to actually follow through on her words. Which is sad. But it makes much more sense as a motivation than the weird 'it cheapens my moment of glory' excuse like since when does spike give a shit about that
#spuffy#idk missed opportunity for sure. maybe it's brought up later in the season? I can't remember rn#but they do kind of shunt spike's complexity and make his character all about angel's feelings#though don't get me wrong i LOVE their fight over the cup#i love the symbolism of spike being able to hold the cross while angel can't.#spike pointing out that he fought for his soul while angel had to be forced to change is sooooo cathartic#because that's the thing about angel is he's not inherently a good person. he has to continually fight to be better#he's the faith to spike's buffy#btvs thoughts#btvs#anyway their continued insistence that buffy and angel are soulmates that transcend any other relationships#is rly detrimental to both buffy and angel as characters imo. as well as any other relationships they might have#cordelia and spike who actually put in the work to get to know them as people are automatically relegated to second fiddle#dont get me wrong i love bangel for the angst but i dont buy that buffy will always be in love w the same guy she barely knew at age 16
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it just occurred to me that some of you might have missed seeing american football player joe burrowās suit this past june during paris fashion week, and it is my personal opinion that everyone see these images at least once in their lifetime, especially those of us with a shared interest in slutty clothes on men (fictional or otherwise). so here they are.
#not to assume!! iām sure there are some tumblrinas into sports like myself who have seen these#but iām just covering my bases here playing it safe#the perfect suit for a fictional character of your choice!!!#will this mean anything to anyone who isnāt me? not sure#i gasped when i first saw these images#number one bc i was like joe burrow is at fashion week? as i do like american football and was not expecting this move from him#and number two bc oh my GOD his BACK#sluttiest suit iāve ever fucking seen#immediately i jotted it down in my head for later#i said i have so many fictional men i can put this on#anyways it was really groundbreaking for me#it might be in my head bc i like joe burrow personally but i hope this is life changing for u all as well#idk what to tag this??#just fictional men i think it would look good on i guess#and why not iāll tag joe burrow bc i know there ARE joe burrow fans on this app just maybe not running in the circles iām in#joe burrow#sam winchester#dean winchester#anakin skywalker#will graham#obi wan kenobi#obi-wan kenobi#bruce wayne#sorry bruce wayne was random lmao#idk everyone just tag hot ur own hot men#my post
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for anyone wondering, what about Han Sungsoo? š¤ it seems that he hasn't been the CEO of Pledis since early 2022, the role until now was filled by Lee Dahye, a former VP for Bighit. HSS has still remained in the company but was demoted to an internal director
if you're wondering how you missed this, don't worry, there was never an official announcement! š carats had to find this out more than a year after the fact by doing some digging
but now Lee Dahye is being replaced by Kim Yeon Soo, who's the original VP of Pledis before they were acquired. He's the one that appeared on SVT Club, and he has historically had a good relationship with Seventeen. the way I always thought of it is Nu'est was HSS's project group, where Kim Yeon Soo oversaw the creation of svt. after the acquisition, he was put in charge of Hybe Labels Japan. it seems now he will remain in that position while also taking over as Pledis CEO
personally, I don't know what to think of this yet. on one hand carats have always had a positive view of Kim Yeon Soo, and he's always seemed to have a close relationship with svt. and I would say I'd rather have him in charge than a hybe plant
but the timing of it is very convenient. this is pure speculation on my part but with Seungkwan's Instagram post recently and all the stuff going on with hybe, it wouldn't surprise me if hybe was bringing in Kim Yeon Soo to try and appease the members (and possibly other Pledis employees). it definitely feels like they're trying to appease /somebody/ with this move, and I can't see it being the fans since most carats didn't know about Lee Dahye being the CEO in the first place. so I can only assume it's people within Pledis they're trying to appease š¤·āāļø
#i didnt post about lee dahye directly when i found out bc i still wasnt totally sure if it was true#even though the evidence seemed to be pointing that way#although im pretty sure i remember posting a vague rant about hybe when i found out lmao#its interesting bc even after the acquisition even though i hated hybe#i felt it was still better for the members to re-sign and stay in pledis#bc where else would they go that would still have the resources to support them? especially when they seemed to be doing okay under hybe#even if i didnt like the company#but now i really do hope they leave#idk where they go or if it means they cant promote for a while or if it means they cant use the svt trademark and branding anymore#but all my worst fears about hybe have been proven true and i wouldn't be upset at all if they just left#which is not something i ever thought id say#like my ideal is that pledis could break from hybe all together but i know thats unrealistic#and its so frustrating bc i know its just a company but pledis has had such a rich and unique history of not only artists#but creative directors producers and other employees#but its been changed almost to the point of unrecognizability now#even nana who was with the company for 15 years left which says a lot#even the people who were loyal to pledis despite everything have started to leave#what does that say??#anyway im home sick today so i had time to rant#might turn rb's off later but ill try leaving them on#melia.txt
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sorry for making yet another textpost but i came across that post saying they dislike transfem natsume because he "canonically hates being perceived as a girl and tries to erase all sorts of memories related to that" and also went on to shame genderbends of him aswell. So, as someone who not only draws genderbends of natsume but is myself someone who is nonbinary and hates being perceived as a woman, i thought id offer my two cents
first of all; i think its important to note that natsume does NOT hate his childhood. in fact, hes quite happy that he had such an unusual upbringing!
what natsume hates is being perceived as weak. thats why he was raised as a girl after all, it was his mother trying to protect him from evil spirits. he doesnt hate the whole "-chan" or "wearing dresses" thing because he has a hatred for womanhood, its because due to his upbringing hes now come to associate those things as being weak. he begs tsumugi to forget about it because that means tsumugi remembers natsume being weak, and natsume thinks tsumugi still referring to him as "natsume-chan" means he still sees natsume as weak. (iirc natsume did however once say that he is a little sad that he doesnt really know how to relate to young boys due to this in poltergeist, but i couldnt find the exact quote. either way that just adds to the complexity of natsumes relationship with his childhood, because while he is happy to be "abnormal" in that sense, it has left him lacking in some areas)
i have to ask though, should this conflict of his not be something we hope he overcomes? should we not want him to develop a healthy relationship with various gender expressions? should we not want natsume to overcome his belief that feminine things = weakness? i want natsume to reach a point where he can wear feminine clothing and not feel like some damsel in distress because of it. i want natsumes character to grow. i want him to develop a positive relationship with his gender because natsume DOES enjoy some more typically feminine things, like baking! he used to bake with his mom when he was little! and i want him to feel like he can indulge in that side of him without feeling insecure.....
i LOVE transmasc natsume, my primary hc for him is transmasc nonbinary after all, but with all these things considered, shouldnt people be allowed to headcanon him however they want? if they hear his story and negative relationship with femininity and how that resonates with them and they themselves are transfem, should they not be allowed to hc him as such too?
which brings me to my next point; my own personal relationship with gender and femininity. i was raised as a girl and i fucking DESPISED womanhood. i hated everything about it. i hated how i felt forced into a box i didnt want to be stuck in, and i hated how it felt like my whole life had already been planned out for me due to societal expectations, aswell as me needing to present a certain way. i was peak "tomboy" growing up, constantly wearing super baggy clothes and wouldnt even brush my hair alot of the time. but despite that i remained miserable. i frankly hated how i looked and would constantly dye my hair vibrant colors in an attempt to make me like myself a little more. it wasnt until i realized "wow, im actually not a girl at all" that i finally let go of believing i needed to look a certain way (and thus, defying it) and started to dress for myself. i started to dress in clothes that made me happy and feel pretty! alot of which leans feminine, but clothes doesnt have a gender, and how you dress doesnt define your gender either, but it can still be a bit scary yknow? especially since i dont want people to think of me as a girl, and drawing a bunch of femstars has really made me learn to love myself more in a funny way. i can put these characters in clothes i think are beautiful, i can explore the more feminine parts of me that i adore but dont want to express in public due to how i want others to perceive me, but it has also warmed me up to femininity even more. because femstars to me feels detached from the expectations of society because its not a real thing!! there are no canon femstars designs!!! i can do literally whatever the hell i want with it and its been so liberating to me!!
all this to say; i think it really sucks seeing the way this fandom treats transfem hcs and explicit genderbends, because like ive said before; they can truly be something so personal. you dont know why that person is drawing what theyre drawing, so its a little unwise to make assumptions based on ........ Well, whatever it may be. i know very well that women dressing the way society expects them to SUCKS, esp if you have personal ties to it, but you have to realize the issue isnt femininity, but misogyny.
#maybe ill delete this later idk but i just felt like i needed to say something#as i constantly see these things being spoken of yet never do these people actually reach out to femstarries#and ask Hey why are you doing this?#so instead they make bad faith assumptions and it really sucks.#and while im here;#trans hcs count as genderbends. Because you have changed the characters gender#*IF the org chara is a cisman and you make them a trans woman i should add#once again Stop treating trans and cis people as two separate things#if it was a cisbend itd be CALLED CISBEND#and the reason i tag genderbend is because i know some people dont like it#and thats valid!!! no one is forced to like this kind of stuff!!!#and some people who dont like genderbends might be new to enstars and dont know what femstars is#so should it not still be tagged for those people too?#should we not look out for the trans people who dont wish to see their favs be a different gender???#i dont get it. i really dont#this post probably wont even reach the right audience but wtv#nat rambles#nats enst posting
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my feelings with eating disorders are weird. and like, dieting in general. you should be able to do whatever you want with your body, but to see someone wasting away and even encouraging it in front of me while I'm too thin to be healthy to begin with... It's sad. you can do whatever you want, but I'm sorry you feel like you need to do this.
#idk. you're hurting yourself. nothing good is gonna come out of this.#i don't eat enough as it isā and while i've settled on no i dont have an edā it's something i've had to think about#and i have friends who wouldn't eat and i WAS the friend who wouldn't eat and. i am so worried for you#if you think i'm vagueposting about you i'm notā not really. i'm just distressed and worried for you.#existenceunrelateds#cw eating problems#cw eating issues#cw eating disorder#cw ed#i know saying this won't change anything but please. please take care of yourselves. the world wouldn't be better with you weak and shaky#might delete this later
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Itās me boy of you know
#um i'm just posting this selfie cause idk#maybe you dont know what i look like or whatever#i dont post selfies as much as I used to cause i still look the same lmao#like nothing has changed really just different lengths of hair#me 10 years ago and me now? same dude#might delete this later who knows#p#l
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giving my ldb a daughter. embarrassing for all involved. mostly me
#her mom is an orc and her dad is a wood elf so she's going to be a very pointy orc. angular#like ok i suppose i leaned a little heavy on the elf features but also shes 12. she'll develop more orcish features. Not My Fault š#mimiart#weird little girl who pretends to be a wolf -> actual werewolf pipeline#elder scrolls#skyrim#shes sooo sweet and smiley :) idk where that comes from. not either of her parents. neither a point for nature nor nurture#calling her Khara for now. might change idk#re: my caption its only embarrassing because of who she had the child with. he fucking sucks#but so does she which is why they get along and they make each other worse. but also sometimes better#whatever. they love each other and their weird kids#at first they said āno kids absolutely the fuck notā then they decided to adopt alesan because like. hes already pretty much self sufficien#like he had a job and everything right. this will be a breeze hes already pretty much a fully formed human we can just help him out#by letting him sleep in our house right. and then like not even a full year later uloth gets pregnant oops š¬#does anyone here know how to keep a baby alive. thankfully uloth has amassed basically a small village of followers/friends/housecarls#some more responsible and knowledgeable than others. so dw the kids are okay and not dead#they just keep the necromancy and shady black market trading and unethical experiments OUTSIDE THE HOUSE#tes#ocs#oc#khara has only broken her dads finger once. orc grip you know how it is#oh and his nose too. but he deserved it for stealing hers š like what was she gonna do?? NOT steal his right back?? come on
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i think the most we will get is PC release (if that) this year but that means we gotta deal with those trolls bc changing angrb0daās skin color is such a big deal to these mfs and i still dont understand that sweet baby inc shit bcuz all the information im seeing is just bundled bullshit LMFAOOO i feel like her actual character gets overshadowed by the made up problems and no one actually talks abt HER as a character or even analyses her fr (outside of here ofc) lol sms abt to make a banger with her and atreus istg
#Truth be told i dont even wanna talk abt this anymore but this topic gets brought up pretty much every week atp#How weird is it that u would only accept her if she were white#Thats literally you admitting you like her character but her being black is a deal breaker#I feel like no matter how much they want her to be a white girl changing her skin wouldnt change their opinion abt her#Theres this one (big) acct in particular thats constantly shitting on rag and its like bro u need to just leave if ur not happy#or take a long ass break and come back at times and then leave again cuz hes just miserable as fuck and yall know exactly who im talking ab#I do see more people getting annoyed with this topic and i dont blame them#its getting super out of hand and dragged out atp#Once again i do not want ppl to like her out of PITY. she deserves a very honest group of fans and if those fans are ppl#That disliked her at first but started to like her later on thats fine as long as its out of being genuine#I cannot wait for her to gain more fans fr but i have to be careful what i wish for bcuz i dont want ppl to become too crazy lol#I might just post smth on that god forsaken reddit as an appreciation post of her or smth idk yet LMFAOOO#I for sure will have to be more brave and visible with my love for her one of these days#also very grateful for that one ragnarok vp. he loves angie for sure#Anyways#Love angie for life#Gow#god of war ragnarok#rant
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so this was supposed to be a silly joke about a minor character in the geistverse but i accidently designed him similar to how i sometimes draw myself, lets not reflect on that too much
#hes a 'reporter' as in he does youtube shit but hes popular enough he gets passes into events and stuff#anyways he sees lilith at an event and falls completely head over heels#and he ends up doing so many videos about the thieves that it ends up being a joke among anyone who likes them#might change his design a bit later idk his hair was poofier originally#still have a few more minor geistverse characters i need to draw but we are getting to you guys knowing them all#faust [oc]#klepto talks to himself#klepto rants about ocs#klepto's art tag#lilith [oc]
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re: my last tag on my last post
#didnāt want to go all deep and whatever on that post bc idk whatever. i have my reasons i think#anyway#it really is odd to me that i might be memorable to people who iāve never even interacted with directly#like people can just see me around campus and my face becomes even somewhat recognizable to them#itās such an odd but cool feeling#bc growing up i was very much someone who just wanted to blend in more than anything#i didnāt want to do anything that would make me stand out in the slightest#i wanted to be as boring and unmemorable and regular as possible (at least in regard to my appearance; personality wise i was very much a-#-weird girl)#and i guess at some point in high school my mentality shifted and i wanted people to see me and think iām cool or attractive or whatever#i wanted people to look at me and actually Think something of me#and now itās not really something i actively try to do#itās more of a ādo i think i look good? do i like how i look? do i feel good? goodā and i go out like that#so itās like. startling but also kinda really cool to have people actually remembering my face and thinking iām cool or pretty or talented#or smart. or all of the above (preferably lol bc theyāre all accurate ehehe)#even if they donāt automatically know how they recognize me#like. iām here! i can be seen! and when i come face to face with these people who iāve never seen before but who think iām familiar#i can just casually chat with them and joke around and have fun#i canāt remember their names quite right. but they compliment my makeup or my shirt and an hour later iām jokingly blowing kisses at them#idk itās weird to think about how much iāve changed as a person bc even four years ago this wouldāve been like. unthinkable behavior#and now it just comes naturally i guess#(though the alcohol certainly helps iām sure haha)#anyway iām just proud of how far iāve come both socially and in terms of my own self confidence and outgoingness#and my willingness to just be seen!!!
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the whole "you shouldn't identify as X, don't form an identity when you can't/don't know yet, you're too young, what if/you might change your mind!" etc etc. it's so silly when you think about it. what's wrong with changing your mind anyway? why did we all decide that gender/sexuality identity has to be static and can never change? why did we decide that it's a bad thing to change? because the old generation tells us change is bad? because they (mostly conservatives) want to conserve "the good old days/the way things are supposed to be" in their minds???
WHO CARES if someone says they're gay then realizes 5 years later they're bi. WHO CARES if someone says they're a girl and realizes after trying it out they're not. let people explore who they are until they figure it out even if they go through every lable available to them! maybe none fit and they make up their own! who cares! who cares if they change it every year for the rest of their lives! humans change. that's the only constant about us! why is it a bad thing, even taboo, to accept change and exploration within sexuality and gender specifically?
there's always so much shame that comes with someone realizing they were wrong, changing as a person, or discovering something new about themselves. i've seen people afraid to explore themselves more or afraid to talk about a change in identity, for fear of the queer community pushing back on them the same way they're afraid to come out to the cishets in their life who are trans/homophobic. that's just not fair that their own community can become hostile towards them, too. being in a closet within a bigger closet essentially. everyone is always told to figure it all out first before claiming an identity, because then you're locked in it for life, apparently. you can't change your mind after that. why though? what's the point of that really? why can't we embrace fluidity a bit more? why can't we accept that humans do change all the time? why is making and trying to prove that these identities are static/unchanging/innate the only way to validate them? why can't they just, I don't know, BE VALID. without reason. why must we jump through hoops to be valid when we should just automatically be valid because we are human. stop letting the cishets gatekeep everything, leading to us gatekeeping each other!
I am sometimes very hesitant to talk about my own identity. I identified as a gay/biromantic trans guy for like idk 8-10 years? transitioned and everything. then like a year or two ago, I realized/decided that doesn't fit right anymore. now i'm a nonbinary, but also kinda fluid, aroace person. sometimes I don't like to talk about that because of the stigma behind changing your gender/sexuality identities. but you know what. i'll talk about it anyway and people have to learn to accept it.
what were the consequences and bad parts about changing my mind/identity like that? none. absolutely none. (outside of people being weird about it for no reason) but the benefits are feeling more comfortable with myself, and that's no one else's business.
#lee rambles#lgbt#lgbtqia#what tag do people usually use. idk#sexuality#nonbinary#transgender#gender#i know some things you cant āchangeā like if you transition. reversing some parts might be hard. but who cares#change what you want. change back a 3rd time if you want. we should let people do what they want in a safe way.#we arent going to talk about and debate children and their ability to āchooseā im not opening those worms. thats for another discussion#but i will say them simply using words to describe themselves (identity) and changing it later DOES ABSOLUTELY NO HARM. LET THEM DO IT.#we are not talking about physically changing things so dont argue that. only words. words dont harm ans are allowed to change.#but people gatekeep adults from words as well so its not āabout the childrenā its people in general.#everyone wants to gatekeep everyone from gender/sexuality so much for some reason#but this isnt about āthe children!ā so lets not talk about them#if anyone tries to argue children i will instablock. you have no permissiom#anyway. i feel like this entire post is a whole unpopular opinion. it'll probably make someone mad or cause misunderstanding#because words are hard and explaining my thoughts is hard. but youre not allowed to argue with me. im tired and dont want to deal with it#thats my boundary and im setting it up. no arguing. im not asking for debate or opnions. im simply rambling to myself snd anyone who#might not have thought about this before? idk. not sure who im rambling to or why i even added specific tags lmao#im tired and sleep deprived where am i going with this.......
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one of those really nice things with living where i do (on a farm with a well stocked garden) in regards to homebrewing is just how many ingredients i can gather myself
like, sure, i still need to buy honey for my meads, but almost everything else i have gotten for free
i have a fuck-ton each of wild raspberries and redcurrants, boxes of cherries, gooseberries, meadowsweet, and strawberries, want some sweet chervil pods for that licorice/anis-like taste? feel free to pick all of it! hell, i even picked half a bucket of hops we had growing right outside our door this morning
#homebrewing#home brewing#(idk wich one is correct)#mead making#alcohol brewing#i have decided that my brewing adventures belong on the main blog and not on the craft blog#idk it just feels right#might change it later who knows#the hops are more for my dad than for me but i have taken the lead in dealing with this kind of thing#also im gonna pick rowanberries at some point next week and i might get some more caraway#i have So Many recipe plans#i even have everything organized so i know exacly what and how much i have
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