#but when you start thinking about it the logistics become confusing

[thetrashthatsmilesback]

The common argument is that Anakin is mad that he got hurt, but the deception arc actually was more malicious than is often discussed.

This is the script of the episode from the website subs as scripts. Explicitly, Anakin's reaction to Obi-wan's death was used to sell the deceit. That goes further than just doing what must be done. In context, the Jedi know that Anakin is attached, and have decided to exploit that attachment. Whatever one's opinion on the attachment situation, that is why the deception arc was done the way it was - to exploit Anakin's attachment.

I have seen people discuss why using obi-wan makes no sense when characters such as Quinlan exist and specialize in special ops, but I'm going to give the show the benefit of the doubt that there were probably some copyright issues with attempting to use Quinlan for this arc. Unfortunately, the show would have been beholden to any outsourcing contracts and their limitations for EU characters. For this reason, I won't go into why I think Obi-wan wasn't the best choice of character for this arc from a logical standpoint. It's a point I see brought up a lot, and it is fair that the choice to use obi-wan specifically is a bit confusing in universe, but I realize that the show had limitations legally that they had to work around. That's not an issue.

What I do find to be an issue is that the deception arc plays into a wider pattern that appears as if the Jedi are punishing Anakin for his attachments. I don't mean that they are angry he is breaking the code, that is fine. They have a code for their religious order, as a member he is expected to follow it. Rather, I mean the way they go about attempting to help him with his problem with attachments appears to almost always come in traumatic ways which come across as punishment.

With this, we come to Ahsoka. The decision to make Ahsoka Anakin's Padawan was to help him overcome his tendency to form attachments. In theory this could make sense - have him raise a child and then learn to let her go upon her knighting. It is said that Padawans teach their masters just as much as the other way around. Under normal circumstances, this is fine and could be a way to teach him healthy ways of letting go.

Unfortunately, the clone wars were never going to facilitate natural process ending with Ahsoka's knighting. While others might learn healthy ways of letting go upon their padawan's knighting, as a general on the front lines it was always more likely that Anakin's Padawan would be separated from him through more extreme circumstances. Most probably through death. Sending a 14 year old girl to the front lines of a war is, in any universe, incredibly irresponsible - doing so with the express intention that it would teach her primary caretaker to let go displays that one is aware of the danger she was facing. There is no way to read this other than the council hoping that danger coming to Ahsoka would lead to Anakin detaching from her. Her assignment to him reads as punishment for his tendency to form close attachments which affect his thinking and actions.

This is a screenshot which proves Ahsoka was assigned to Anakin with the intention that he would learn to let go from starwars.com.

This, particularly, is where many people get hung up about the deception arc. It is the question of if the ends justified the means - in this case was the use of someone else's emotional attachment justifiable. For this, a brief discussion of the psychology is important.

I'm going to draw from multiple sources, the first of which being sudden.org. You can read the article I am referencing here x.

There are three main factors regarding how heavily witnessing a death will affect a person:

Whether they knew the person intimately.

If they were also injured or at risk of injury at the time of witnessing the death.

Whether or not they were unconscious at the time of the death

If the person who witnesses the death is close to the person, was at risk of injury themselves, and were conscious for the time of the death, then it increases the likelihood of PTSD symptoms developing. Anakin and Ahsoka both fit all three of these criteria.

The likelihood of witnessing a death affecting someone strongly is increased by the following factors:

If there have been long term stressors leading up to witnessing the death

If someone has a strong support system after witnessing the death

Factors which crop up after the death such as bereavement, a perceived lack of justice, personal injury, the scale of the event, litigation, etc.

Once again, we see that Anakin and Ahsoka both fit into several of these factors. They are active participants of the war, often on the war front and deployed. Their support system is lessened due to the stressors of the war. There aren't many other Jedi around as they are all on the war front, meaning their primary support systems are each other. The plan hinged on Obi-wan escaping with the other conspirators, meaning a sense of lacking justice is also present.

These factors alone mean that the plan was likely to cause personal psychological damage to both Anakin and Ahsoka, who, again, were chosen to witness Obi-wan's death because their reactions, especially Anakin's reaction, would sell the ploy.

The next source is about the affects of witnessing a death on the brain. This is primarily in concern of Ahsoka, who at this point would have been about 15. It reporting on a long term study discussing the effects of witnessing a parental figure's death on a child x.

Following children ages 7-17 who have lost a parent and comparing them to children of the same age who did not, those who had lost a parent, even when accounting for outside mental health issues in the children or parents, showed higher rates of PTSD and depression. They also showed academic difficulties, emotional control difficulties, and difficulties in natural development.

Ahsoka's age puts her right at the prime age for these disturbances, and since in the show Obi-wan acts as a fatherly figure towards her, she fits the demographic of the study.

So the means were emotionally traumatizing a young adult and a teenager, possibly to the detriment of their future neurological and psychological development.

The ends however, also need discussion. Because the plan didn't actually work. Dooku figured out that Rako Hardeen was a spy before they even made it to the final show down - many argue he figured it out in the episode The Box. The plan of having Anakin's reaction sell Obi-wans death was unsuccessful by the time the plot to kidnap the chancellor was engaged. Further, the Jedi still almost didn't succeed. The chancellor was still almost taken later that night.

While military plans can fail, the context that this one almost did several times does affect the argument of if it was all worth it. I think it's fair for people to point out that the plan very nearly wasn't worth it, and possibly wasn't worth it to begin with.

Maybe Anakin is just mad he was affected by the plan, but in context the plan was emotionally disruptive to himself and Ahsoka, and in the broader context could be viewed as a vindictive way of teaching Anakin a lesson about attachment which could be taught in less traumatic ways. Trauma tends to cause more unstable attachment, not less, meaning this event could have, and did have, the opposite effect of what was intended. I don't particularly care if Obi-Wan should have apologized or not, but leaving Anakin out of this plan was not simply military necessity. Obi-wan was the general Anakin worked most closely with, if anything it weakens both the 501st and 212th to have obi-wan die - in the books it is explained that the 501st is taken from the 212th when Anakin is knighted. This plan has wider military implications than just Anakin's bereavement that are difficult to parse in any way that makes sense. Anakin might have been upset because he was personally wronged, but the withholding of information that from a military standpoint could affect his own command of his troops and strategy is also dangerous, wreckless, and the affects are left largely unexplored by the show and spinoff comics.

Rako Hardeen You know, one of the worst parts of that arc is that Obi-Wan never actually apologized to Anakin. All he did say was, "I know I did some questionable things BUT, I did what I had to do. I hope you can understand that." That's not enough, especially if he thought that that was okay on ANY level.

could anakin maybe be considered selfish in this moment, valuing his feelings and interpersonal relationships over his obligations to society at large? what if duty to the republic is difficult and requires sacrifices that anakin is simply unable and unwilling to make? have you considered that the tv show is trying to show a fracture point in their relationship that will be exacerbated until they fall apart in revenge of the sith because of opposing ideologies, anakin to his selfish, greedy, possessive clinging on, and obi-wan to subordinating his feelings to do what he must, as best he can?

[greentrickster]

Okay, so, been reading some good scumplane (OG!Shen Qingqiu/Airplane) lately, because in this house we support Airplane being loved by terrifying/terrifyingly hot men, but also, like... I do love Moshang just so so much as a ship.

And all this has awoken a mighty need in me.

A need for a Moshangjiu fic with scumplane getting established first and then bringing our favorite popsicle in on things.

Anyway, scenario! Shen Qingqiu starts noticing Shang Qinghua when they're disciples via the classic scenario of being smart enough to realize something is fishy about SQH being the only survivor of a demon attack, begins paying attention to his most anxious shidi, accidentally shows his most anxious shidi the simplest of Human Kindness, accidentally becomes shidi's favorite shixiong, accidentally becomes friends with shidi, accidentally catches feelings. Continues being a Sneaky Bastard in order to figure out what shidi is up to (and now also to confirm shidi is single).

Ah, shidi is entangled with an Ice Demon. This shixiong will make use of his scholarly peak's library to learn all and then decide to- wait. Wait, it's super violent by human standards, but is it- is this demon attempting to... court shidi?

...

Not if SQQ dates him first he's not!!!

There follows a whirlwind romance between SQQ and SQH where no one really knows what's going on, especially the two involved, it involves a lot of shit talking about everyone else in their lives, snacks, and accidental trauma bonding.

Also Airplane being Airplane and accidentally spilling that not only is he also kinda crushing (bad) on Mobei-jun, but also Mobei-jun's entire backstory and please, shixiong, I know it all looks bad but this shidi's house is literally the only place in the world it's completely safe for his king to sleep, everyone deserves to sleep without having to worry about their relatives murdering them for things that aren't their fault from time to time, right, shixiong???

Shen Qingqiu: ...goddammit, the demon's a fellow sad little meow meow. (only not in these exact words because he doesn't know these phrases, naturally)

In a wild, bold, and - dare I say it - shockingly sexy convolution of thought processes and ideas, SQQ manages to finagle SQH into letting him meet with MBJ (SQH nearly has a heart attack three times in the process but it's fine, it's cool, this is his life, this may as well happen, it's fine-).

SQQ: It has come to my attention that my shidi is spying for you on our sect.

MBJ: (glowering at SQH, who is cowering behind shixiong wondering how he got talked into all this)

SQQ: However it also appears that this is merely a cover story and the only thing you really do is use his room to nap. And also that you are quite fond of him.

SQH: (This is it, this is how I die. Again.)

MBJ: (...if I stare straight ahead and don't change my expression, no one will be able to tell that he's right)

SQQ: So anyway I think you should join Cang Qiong Mountain Sect.

MBJ: (gears grinding)

SQH: (squawking splutters of protest and confusion)

SQQ: (who speaks panicking!SQH at this point) Stop that, it's perfectly reasonable. He has the head disciple of our logistics peak under his thumb, it would be the simplest thing in the world for him to have you throw the sect into absolute chaos without even trying, then organize an attack, swoop in, and crush us all. He could have done it years ago, but he never has, he never even seems to initiate anything. I don't think he even cares about taking the Northern Throne, I think he's just incompetent about wanting to spend time with you. So he might as well just lie low until our shizuns ascend and then I'll take him on as a disciple on Qing Jing and you two can stop sneaking around like idiots.

MBJ: >8O

SQQ: Are you actually opposed?

MBJ: (folds arms and looks away sulkily, because like... it's true but you don't have to say it like that)

SQH: 8O ...reverse uno...

SQQ: What?

SQH: You're reverse unoing my blorbo!

SQQ: Quit making up word-

SQQ cannot continue because the System just presented the option to accept this potential new plot line (even if it does have the rather confusing title of 'Shidi Has Two Hands'), and holy shit, Mobei-jun seems to be potentially down for it, holy shit, apparently Mobei-jun actually likes me, holy shit, SQQ may have just solved all my problems-?!? This is great, this is fantastic, this is the best day of my life, this- is a long time I'm being allowed to be myself about all this, why is Shen shixiong not interrupting...?

Ah.

It is because I am kissing him full on the lips.

Cool cool cool.

At least I'm gonna die on a high note.

SQQ: O///O o_o (ahem) Shidi's- shidi's a really bad kisser.

SQH: Ah-haha, I can explain-

SQQ: We should work on that. Later.

SQH: (BEST DAY OF BOTH MY LIVES!!!)

MBJ: (I... did not actually hate watching that. Hm.)

Anyway, he agrees to the plan, SQQ and SQH start dating, some more time passes, the previous generation of peak lords ascend, the new generation take their places, and a week later Mobei-jun is an outer disciple of Qing Jing Peak.

The other peak lords are not amused, Qingqiu that is a demon, no.

SQQ: So what I'm hearing is that whole 'Cang Qiong will accept anyone from anywhere' philosophy was a lie then?

He's a demon!

SQQ: Children can't help where they're born. Now if you'll excuse me, I have classes to teach.

First lesson of the day is SQH and SQQ are a package deal, take it or leave it. Second lesson is no canoodling with Shang Shibo until you've finished with lessons and chores for the day. Third lesson is if you see any Bai Zhan disciples hassling our peak's disciples you can break their swords. Just snap 'em in half. Throw them off the peak. Don't kill them, but do make them cry.

SQH, meanwhile, has now seen MBJ in an outer disciple uniform and had a whole bunch of new awakenings on top of all the other things he already knew about himself.

And, in a twist of dramatic irony... Qing Jing's first disciple to ever have demonic heritage decides the dorms are a no-go after one night because, to him, they are broiling hot, how can anyone sleep in this heat, and chooses to go sleep in the wood shed instead.

[lewis-winters]

Hiii you’re like the person I trust the most to give me band of brothers analysis lol so I wanted to ask about the tension between dick and lew in crossroads. I’m not sure if I’m misinterpreting it or if I missed out on an important detail but the whole interaction where moose and lew go bug dick while he’s writing up his reports confuses me. I get Dick doesn’t want to be behind a desk and wants to be leading easy company again but once moose leaves it looks to me as though dicks’ question about the intelligence being any good ticks him off, prompting him to make the comment about the bacon sandwiches. Do you mind sharing what you think is going on between them here? Both canonically and your interpretation

Sure!

Canonically: Lew is ticked off because he's S2. Intelligence is literally his whole job, and Dick is questioning how well he's done it.

My interpretation (which is largely informed by canonical interpretation): some of the tension of this scene is definitely because Moose is handling the company now, and Dick is stuck behind a desk. You're correct on that one. I think it's a little exacerbated by Lew coming in and making jokes about it-- which is quite an anomaly, since we've seen Dick laugh at Lew's jokes before, even if they're at his expense. But even when you bear that in mind, he's not REALLY that annoyed at Nix yet. He snarks at him a bit, but other than that, he's really just sulky. He'd been bared from the details of almost everything but logistics, and on top of that is having to write a report he really doesn't want to write. Furthermore, he's annoyed at the learning curve of being behind the desk-- you could see it with his discomfort with the aide assigned to him, and with how Zielinski has to hover over him and teach him where to sign or where to write etc (though that's later in the episode). Our poor Richard is a jock, through and through. I'm willing to bet he'd rather be outside using his body instead of waiting behind a desk. But, bless him, he's taking it in stride and really just pouting.

Then, he changes his tune when he finds out Moose is leading the company out on Operation Pegasus. He becomes MORE anxious. He forgets what he's sulking about and immediately starts talking strategy. Those are his boys! He wants to look out for his boys!

And Nix can tell. You can see his face falls when Dick starts asking after times and places. So, he goes over there and tries to calm him while also rescuing Moose from Dick being too overbearing.

AND THEN Dick asks after the integrity of the intelligence Nix has.

Remember how, in the battle prior, on the titular Crossroads, they ran into a whole-ass company of SS? That could, arguably, be Lew's fault. It's his job, as Intelligence Officer (that's what S2 is-- though irl it's kinda conflicting because some sources say he was S3 around this time, not S2, but in the show he is, so we'll talk about that) to KNOW what's there, right? So he could warn the platoon walking into a battle that what they're facing isn't just another platoon, but a whole company.

But here's the thing: I only said arguably. In reality, sometimes intelligence is just wrong.

Other times, intelligence expires. Maybe Lew knew that it was just a platoon the day before, right before Alley and co. were attacked (evidence: Tab knew what was beyond the crest of the hill when Dick asked him, meaning that there was a briefing amongst the NCOs that happened about the lay of the land before they settled in that place-- Nix would've lead that, as S2), but come morning of the next day, he didn't know that said platoon had called for backup, and are now a company. Other other times, maybe there's no intelligence at all, and they all have to make do with expired intelligence. That's just one way things could've gone wrong.

Dick knows that. Lew knows that. There is a margin of error in intelligence that should be accounted for.

But I'm willing to bet Lew feels guilty about it, anyway, so he gets a little defensive; "I think it's pretty good." And then when Dick presses, he goes right for the kill, and hits a sore spot; "Why don't you ask Moose when he comes back?" and even when Dick STILL presses, though little more gently, with; "tell me if anything goes wrong," Lew bites back still; "yeah tell me if you see any bacon sandiwches [that I asked your orderly for]."

Which is him effectively telling Dick to mind his own business-- which is. Behind a desk and with Zielinski.

That being said, I don't think asking after the integrity of Lew's intelligence is bad or malicious because the lack of it DID lead to the previous blindsiding of Dick's platoon. He really is just worried about Easy. And I don't think Lew getting defensive about the intelligence is bad, either-- intelligence is SO fickle, you have no idea. Especially in an active warzone. You will get things wrong sometimes, and people will blame you. No use rubbing it in.

But also? Dick chose to charge into said company with NO new intelligence at all. Like. Richard. Dick. You came up with that attack on the fly. Were you even in communication with Nix while you were doing it? George is literally right there with the radio, Richard, did you ASK him????) I know the show paints that attack as necessary and also a success, but if you read Parachute Infantry, David Webster thought that attack was risky and uninformed. It makes you think, ya know? Biases, biases.

^^ THAT is most definitely for a whole separate post lmaoooo

Anyway. TL;DR: I think Lew was a little ashamed and guilty about not having had the intelligence Dick needed on hand (to know that he isn't running headfirst into a company of SS) before and got a little defensive when Dick brought it up. So he drops the jokey façade for a minute and does his own lashing out (to the extent that he allows himself to lash out at Dick, anyway-- which, btw? we need to talk about bc the way Dick lashes out at Nix is VERY different to how Nix lashes out at Dick and it's so INTERESTING).

They both apologize, though. Non-verbally, at least, when Nix comes back up for the VAT69 and Dick allows him. Mm. Love Winnix. Love when they say so much shit but never anything they actually mean. Kings of passive aggression and double entendre. Love that for them.

shameless plug: if you like meta posts check out my #bob meta tag for all your meta needs!

[garf-lover96]

Astarion Ancunín x Julian Devorak crackship hcs

ah i see your endless comparisons between them, so i know this is not a post for too niche of an audience..... i just had this thought about them actually being together and my brain started working too fast so i just had to write it all down

disclaimers: for simplicity reasons, let's assume they meet on some ambiguous middle ground between their worlds; these are headcanons for spawn!Astarion (after killing Cazador) and upright!Julian (minus the mc i suppose) because i wanted to make them healthy and fluffy

———

a little exposition:

• they meet in a tavern (obviously!). Julian falls first and buys Astarion a drink, Astarion falls harder later on

• it takes Julian quite a bit of courting to get Astarion to agree to go on a date with him, but when he agrees, he's rewarded with the most romantic (and brilliantly planned) night of his life

• Astarion really appreciates Julian's patience and understanding when he finally opens up about his past. they exchange some stories of the hard moments in their lives

• somewhere in the middle of those comes up the fact that Astarion is a vampire which gets a "well, obviously...?" reaction from Julian. Astarion is a little embarrassed about that

• eventually, they agree to be in a relationship! they warm up to each other at a incredibly fast rate and start living together after more than a few exciting adventures together (but it doesn't mean they plan to stop going on them any time soon)

living together/relationship dynamics sillies:

• getting right into it, Julian obviously enjoys getting bitten and is more than happy to let Astarion feed on him. he asks Astarion to do it whether he's hungry or not. are you sure you don't need a snack?? absolutely sure????

• Astarion learns how to make a few simple meals for Julian. he notices when Julian forgets to eat for a longer while and wants to make sure he doesn't collapse out of starvation. he says that he's doing it only so his blood tastes better, but Julian knows he's just worried about him..

• Julian's sleep schedule is messed up as is so he definitely doesn't mind having to become nocturnal for his partner. hell, he can even stay awake for the whole 24 hours! maybe even 48 hours, occasionally. which always results in a crash and he ends up sleeping through at least 12 hours straight to make up for it

• when that happens—and Astarion has nothing better to do—he tends to just orbit around him the whole time he's asleep. he usually picks out a book and lays down close to Julian's chest so he can listen to his heartbeat while enjoying some literature

• Astarion was a little sceptical of Malak when they started living together but it turned out they actually get along quite nicely. Astarion praises him every time he steals something..

• Julian is very interested in the logistics of being a vampire, and now that he finally has the chance, he wants to know all there is to know about the topic. the lack of heartbeat, the heightened senses.. the teeth.. he gets a little giddy thinking about them. or seeing them of course

• they both get haunted by nightmares but since half of the time at least one of them is awake while the other is sleeping (or in that damn reverie when it comes to Astarion) because of their confusing sleeping patterns, they make sure to calm each other down from them. they breathe together, cuddle and mutter words of reassurance to each other

• their morbid interests go quite well together. of course, while Astarion's specific interest lies in stabbing people sometimes and Julian's lies in anatomy and the more theoretical stuff in general, Astarion actually enjoys it when Julian goes on one of his medical rants and explains in exhausting detail. for instance: why someone bleeds out faster when they get stabbed in the neck rather when they get stabbed in the stomach

• Julian is always acting as Astarion's mirror. he's there for every request and makes sure to compliment Astarion plenty whenever he gets the chance. he lives to serve and reassure. Astarion is immensely grateful for that

• they're both consent kings, they always make sure to discuss anything requiring it. they check up on each other even after agreeing to it anyway

• they absolutely love using pet names. they can barely go without using "darling", "dear" and "my love" every other sentence

• Julian teaches Astarion how to dance. it takes a little convincing, but when Astarion realizes that Julian is actually a pretty great teacher, he relaxes and lets himself be guided. now they make sure to make time for it at least once a week

• Astarion loves hearing Julian's silly stories from his travels and always asks sarcastic follow up questions. think the "oh, and were there dragons there?" kind

• even though there's a big height difference between them (5'9 and 6'4), they pick each other up all the time. Julian started it by picking Astarion up when he least expected it. but since Astarion is no longer limited by the tadpole, is eating well and Julian is skinny anyway, he's more than capable to get his revenge on him as often as possible

———

broke: Astarion and Julian are pretty similar to each other!

woke: they're actually in love and married and they kiss each other on the lips mwah mwah mwah

[keep-the-wolves-close]

Movin’ Mountains

Chapter 4: Talk of the Town

Pairing: Kayce Dutton x OFC Stella Daniels

Rating: M

Warnings: some language, possibly more angst but tbh just a heavy conversation between the adults

Word count: 3,224ish

I would love to give credits to @dameronscopilot and @deanscroissant and @lexixstewart for being sounding boards for me during this whole process, giving outsider insight, being cheerleaders, and allowing me to screech at them about things that have happened during the writing process. I seriously couldn't have gotten this far without y'all.

Author's note: I hope everyone is enjoying so far! I hope you love this chapter as well! It's gonna start picking up here soon. I'm taking the time to enjoy the quiet before the storm lol.

Stella and Kayce got back to the camp and she let him go to Monica. Jimmy spotted her and waved her over. She smiled fondly at the wrangler. It had been a while since they’d been able to sit and talk. She sat in the chair she’d dubbed as hers with a sigh. “Hey JB.”

Jimmy looked at her timidly. “How’re you holdin’ up?”

Stella watched as he wiggled around in his seat. She leaned back and propped her elbow on the back of the chair, gingerly scratching her eyebrow. It was getting itchy which told Stella it was in the final healing stages. “I’m okay. My bruises are almost nothing, my ribs are still stiff if I sit too long, but I’m fine. How’re you, Mr. I ride broncs now and I’m damn good at it?” She smirked at him.

Jimmy ducked his head as his cheeks warmed up. “I wouldn’t say all that now.”

“I heard from Lloyd that you won a buckle! I’d say that’s pretty damn good!” She pushed his arm.

“I’m finally good at something.”

“Jimmy, you’ve always been good. The curmudgeons around here are just bitchy.”

Jimmy smiled at her words. If there was anyone who’d believed in him the entire time, he was sure it was Stella. “You’ll have to come watch one time.”

“I definitely will! Now that I’m up and moving. I might even let you take me.”

Jimmy’s face froze. “I dunno if that would be a good idea.”

“Why not?” Stella knitted her eyebrows together.

“I mean aren’t you and Kayce?” He made an awkward motion of kissy faces and making out with the air.

Stella belly laughed, catching the attention of everyone nearby. “You’re such a 12 year old!” She wiped a few tears from her laughter away and sniffled. “We are, but he’s not the jealous type.”

“The way he looked at me a few times says otherwise.”

“He’s just protective. He always has been.”

“If that helps you sleep at night, you call it that.”

“He might have just also still been confused and in the midst of whatever with Monica. Then he sees you making me laugh, and got irritated.”

“Well we’ll figure out logistics later. Ryan is glaring over here by the way.”

Stella huffed. “He and I got into it last night.”

“What about?”

“Me almost dying, becoming more involved in the ranch’s dirtier side.”

“I think it scares him. He doesn’t want to lose you. We all don’t.”

“But you guys won’t, Jay.”

His eyes widened at her. “How can you promise that with everything you’ve seen and experienced in the last year, the last six months alone?”

Stella held a finger out in his direction. “While you make a fair point, let me rephrase. You guys aren’t gonna lose me if I can help it.”

“Yeah. I know everyone would do everything they could to keep you safe, but it’s still not a solid promise. Bad shit happens that’s out of our control sometimes.”

Stella glared at the wrangler. “I hate it when you make sense," she mumbled.

“You love me for it, Stell.”

They shared a grin, but a throat clearing interrupted the happy moment. Stella looked over her shoulder, and frowned when she caught her brother’s eye. She faced Jimmy again. “JB, give us a minute, yeah?”

Jimmy nodded and made himself scarce. Stella didn’t bother to look at her brother. “Sit.”

He sat in the chair next to her. The air was thick with tension between the siblings. Ryan sat forward with his elbows propped on his knees and his hands folded. “Jimmy’s right,” he admitted quietly.

Stella pulled her lips together, thinking carefully about what he was confessing to. She knew he probably hated to say that Jimmy was right which meant this was weighing on him big time.

“I know you’re worried, Ryan.” She got him to focus on her instead of the flames. “But I know all of y’all, have done and would do their absolute damndest to make sure I come out unscathed. I don’t have to officially be Rip, until Rip is gone. And that ol’ bastard will be around for years to come. Kayce’s workin’ on mending that fence.” Stella smiled sympathetically to her brother. “And you know me, if I don’t think it’s a good idea, I will always voice my concerns or my disagreement.”

Ryan’s mouth turned upward in a small grin. If there was one thing he knew about Stella, her mouth was loud when it had to be. “Okay, you make a good point.” He gave her puppy dog eyes. “But can I cut you a deal?”

“Possibly? I’m not gonna promise anything, but I’ll at least hear you out.”

Ryan sat up straight to give her his proposal. “I’m fine with you going deeper. I’m a hypocrite for even thinking you shouldn’t when I have already. We both have.” Stella nodded, pleased that he’d apparently been doing some self reflection. He continued. “But the second I feel you’re in too deep, potentially unsafe—,” Stella interrupted him finishing his thought.

“—You can be the first one to pull me out of the deep end.” She smirked at her brother. “I wouldn’t expect any less from you because I would absolutely do the same.”

The siblings stared at each other, coming to a silent agreement. They would be each other’s life line in the craziness they were diving into. Stella adjusted her glasses in the bridge of her nose and smiled at him.

Footsteps from behind broke the duo out of their little bubble. Stella glanced back at who was making their way over. It was Monica.

Monica shoved her hands in her pockets and asked, “can I borrow her for a second, Ryan?” Ryan stood and patted his sister on the shoulder as he made his way off. Monica waited until he left and took a seat around the fire.

Stella leaned forward with a stick she’d found to stoke the fire with. She stole a glance at the woman across from her. “What’s on your mind?” Stella asked gently.

“Since it’s just us right now, can we talk about what’s going on?”

Stella nearly choked at Monica’s question. She knew it was a conversation that needed to be had sooner or later, but she’d really been hoping for later. She cleared her throat. “Uh, sure.”

“So you and Kayce are together now?” Monica took note of the flannel that was Kayce’s. The light marks that weren’t a part of the yellowing bruises on her neck. There had been little signs here and there before now that pointed to Monica that they were together. She and Kayce had also just finished talking about it. She wanted to make sure Stella wasn’t going to lie to her. She knew it was sneaky, but she had to. For her own peace of mind.

Stella pulled her lips together and nodded. Her chest caved in. “Yeah, we are.” Stella knew there would always be some animosity between them now. She’d accepted it. Monica and Kayce had split up. Kayce and Stella had fucked around. The best friends ended up together not long after. Monica had moved on too, but it was a wound that would probably always sting for her though. She and Stella had been on a pretty good level with each other for a really long time. They weren’t besties, but they could definitely get along.

Monica knew Stella had always had a soft spot for Kayce and Kayce for her. Before he even met her. Stella never said anything and missed out. That was her fault, and she just cared that he was happy. She always tried her hardest to respect the relationship and marriage and keep her distance, only reaching out every so often and only seeing Kayce if they ran into each other at the ranch, or if Monica invited her over. And Monica respected her for that.

Once Kayce and Monica had officially called it quits, Stella had just been concerned for her best friend’s well being. She knew that Monica meant the world to Kayce, and she didn’t know exactly what went down, but she knew it had probably been tearing him up. She got blinded by her feelings for him and didn’t do anything to stop them from getting in the way.

Monica took a deep breath to calm her nerves. She didn’t want to cause a scene or give anyone a free show. This wasn’t the time, nor the place.

Stella stared at her and kept going to fill the silence. “I don’t know what changed," she shrugged. "After you guys split officially and you moved on, I just wanted to keep him from going off the rails.”

“So you slept with him? Your best friend of 14 years? That’s how you kept him from going off the deep end?”

“No Monica, and you know that just as well as I do.”

“Do I?”

“I mean you should. You’ve known me for almost just as long. I know we weren’t really the best of friends, but you should know enough about me by now.”

“That’s what’s crushing me, Stella.” She sighed heavily. “You. Of all people.”

“I didn’t take him away, Monica. You guys called it quits. You went your way and he went his own way and something changed between us along the way. I didn’t put a gun to his head and make him.”

Monica stared at Stella from across the fire. She shook her head, “no you didn’t, but I thought I could trust you.”

“That’s the thing, Monica. You can. Not to make this a kindergarten argument, but he moved on me first.” Stella dropped the stick in her hand on the ground with a huff. “I didn’t really do much to stop it because I was taken out by my own feelings, and that’s on me.” She crossed her arms over her chest feeling too exposed. Raw. “To which I’m sorry for. I know sorry doesn’t make it better, but it had to be said.”

“Like I told you not long ago, I’ll always be around in Kayce’s life. We have a child. So inevitably your life too.”

“And like I told you that day, I understand and I wouldn’t expect anything different. Kayce told me you guys were gonna co-parent to keep stress on Tate minimal. Which seems like the best course of action.”

“Have you said anything to Tate about you and his dad?”

Stella shook her head assertively. “No. I wanted him to get settled into his new routine and once I got a chance to talk to you, with or without Kayce, then we would decide how to go about it from there.”

Monica sat back and appreciated the care of the thought process Stella had taken in regards to her child and his welfare. She looked past Stella and spotted Kayce as he marched over to the two of them. He looked worried. Monica panned back to Stella. “It looks like you’re gonna get your wish of talking to both of us.” She nodded to the man coming up behind Stella.

Stella felt the weight of Kayce’s hands leaning on the back of her chair and tilted her head back to look at him. He gazed down at her. Monica felt her stomach tighten at the intimate sight. It wouldn’t normally be an intimate motion, but it was like she was watching their souls intertwine with their eye contact.

“Everything okay?” Kayce asked Stella softly, for the second time that day.

She nodded and remembered what was happening and knocked herself back to reality. “Kayce, is Tate with grandpa?” He nodded. Stella waved to the empty chairs. “Pop a squat for a minute. You should be a part of this conversation.”

Kayce’s eyebrows knitted together, but he saved any questions for after he took a seat. “So what’s goin’ on,” he asked the women tentatively. Almost afraid of the answer.

Monica took the lead in answering him. “Stella and I were just going over a few things that we needed to update each other on. Laying a couple ground rules down.”

Kayce squinted between the two of them. “Okay,” he dragged out the syllables. “Ground rules of?”

“How this is gonna go around our son. When we’re gonna tell him about you and his aunt being together.”

Kayce’s eyes bugged but he corrected them quickly. He just got done talking to Monica about this. He didn’t expect this talk so soon. “I think you and I should get a schedule set for him for when he comes here and when you have him, first.”

“I agree.” Monica swallowed. “Once he’s adapted, should we all sit and tell him?”

Kayce looked at Stella for input. She changed her sitting position while she thought about the possibilities. “I mean, he’s gonna be hurt either way. We’ve gotta give him time and respect that, even if he’s only 10. But I think seeing his mom’s reaction would help him.”

Monica looked at her in question. “What do you mean by my reaction?”

“Well, if I’m being transparent, this calm chat wasn’t what I was expecting for when this topic came about. I know you’re not “okay” with it, but you haven’t tried to deck me yet.” Stella gave Monica a small smile. “So I think if he saw that, it might help him keep calm about the change.”

Kayce’s eyes lit up as Stella spoke. This was a completely different mindset from Stella than what he was used to. She was thinking like a mother. She sounded like a mother. A thought he’d never had before crossed his mind. It was with the potential for him to make Stella a mother in the future. He had to shake his head to break him out of the burning thoughts. “I think Stella’s right.”

Monica nodded. “That settles it then. We’ll tell him together.” She stared Stella down. “Can I trust you around my son? You’re involved in this shit mess just as much as his father.”

“Monica… if there’s one thing I can 100% guarantee you, it’s that I would do everything in my power to make sure your boy is safe. I know how much Kayce and you love him. He’s a great kid and I would do anything to keep him from getting hurt.” She laughed humorlessly. “For god's sake I got beat to shit trying to stop those men from taking him.” Monica stopped to look over her face. It had healed for the most part, but you could see the few scars that forever remained. The scene replayed in Stella’s head.

She had gone out to the barn to grab Abigail to go for a night ride. She spotted Tate and found it hard to believe that he would have been allowed to go to the pen by himself. Especially since she and Kayce had to break the horse for him still.

She remembered scaring Tate into running for his grandpa’s house, but the little boy turned back when he saw her getting beat on.

Tate screamed her name loud and clear, “Aunt Stella!!”

She grabbed a piece of rebar sticking out of the sand by the round pen and swung it at the face of the man that had Tate as hard as she could like she was hitting for a home run. The man’s jaw snapped shut and reopened as he let out a deafening scream.

“You filthy bitch!” The man’s words were garbled.

Tate started to dart toward her, but was snatched up by someone else.

“Stella!!” His tiny voice hollered.

Stella started to scramble for the second man, but was grabbed from behind. “Fuck you piece of shit! Let us go!”

A fist hammered down onto her head from the man that had her knocking her glasses off her face. She groaned as her vision blurred. She tried to get her foot behind or under the man’s leg, to sweep his foot out but he stayed on top of it. His arms were wrapped around the top of hers as she struggled to gain some high ground. She didn’t want to do this, but she didn’t have any other option but to ram her head backwards into his nose as hard as she could. Hopefully breaking it.

He yelped out, and loosened his grip. Her head started to thump wildly. She would have gotten away if the other man hadn’t been enraged and made his way back for her after getting Tate in the van.

“Fuck!” She squeaked out. He gripped her up by the neck making her lose air and landed a solid fist to her face, knocking her woozy. Her posture drooped and the man behind her let her fall to the ground.

She tried to claw her way back to standing to run toward the van, but the men kicked her sides and face. Anything they could get to to make sure she stayed down. The bunkhouse was too far away to have heard their screams. She couldn’t breathe from the wind being knocked out of her and her vision was starting to go. With one final attempt to crawl back to her feet to get to the van, the lead man landed a knockout blow to her chin with his foot and Stella stopped moving all together.

“Stella?” She heard Monica’s soft voice drift in from the outside of her mind.

“Yeah, sorry. It still races through my mind sometimes.” She looked down and fixed her glasses.

“I appreciate you fighting for my son, you know. I never got to say thank you properly with everything going on. I know his father probably said it for me, but I wanted you to know it wasn’t unnoticed.” Monica glanced at the wicked pink scar across her eye.

“Of course. I would want someone to do the same for me.” She pulled her lips tight against her teeth. “I also want you to know I will never bad mouth you to your kid. You're his mother. You’re always going to be in Kayce’s life because you’re Tate’s parents. I understand that. I just hope one day, you’ll be able to hate me a little less while going through life near each other. That’s really all I wanted to say.”

“I think we can come to that eventually. I need time.”

“Of course.” She smiled softly at Monica.

Monica realized it was late, and that she didn’t have a tent. “Where should I stay?”

Stella glanced at Kayce. “How ‘bout I stay with my brother tonight, so she can stay with Tate? I’ll have Jake take Flip back down tomorrow and grab her a tent. Which after Jake riding Flip up here today, that horse should be broke for the most part.” She looked at Monica. “If you wanna keep staying up here with us?”

Monica took in Stella’s courtesy towards her, even with the awkward air.

Kayce assessed Stella’s mood. “You sure?”

“Yes, Kayce. I wouldn’t have offered if I wasn’t.”

“Thank you, Stella.” Monica expressed.

Stella’s eyebrows came together. “For what?”

“Letting me be with my boy.”

Stella chuckled. “He’s your son. Who am I to keep you from him?” She stood stiffly with a groan. She’d been sitting too long. “I’m gonna go find my brother.”

[archive-of-the-lost]

𝐒𝐢𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐮𝐩 𝐟𝐨𝐫 @waffledforbrunch

Your siblings are…Itoshi Sae and Rin!

♡ Within the Itoshi household, you seem like the middle child.💀 So, one year younger than Sae, one year older than Rin. It makes sense! Being the middle child and the only daughter, you developed a more outgoing personality to stand out from your brothers.

♡ Growing up, the three of you were very close. Being so close in age, the three of you stuck close together like glue. Though you weren't interested in soccer like Sae was, so you would accompany Rin with watching that Evolman cartoon he likes so much.

♡ Whenever Sae took Rin to get ice cream, he would bring you along too. Until they started playing soccer together, then they started getting more ice cream by themselves. But they still made sure to bring one popsicle home for you. Though you'd have to wait for it to refreeze in the freezer and it'd be a funny shape by then.

♡ You were always better at making, and keeping, friends than the both of them, so you weren't too lonely when Sae left for Spain compared to Rin. But you both obviously felt his absence, drawing the both of you closer together within a house where your parents felt so detached, even though they weren't neglectful or anything.

♡ You weren't there when the Itoshi brothers had their fallout, it's not like you attended Rin's training for fun. So you were very confused when Sae came home with the air of someone haunted. You tried to greet him, but he walked past you like you weren't there. Half an hour later, Rin came back with his eyes puffy, like he had been crying. You tried to ask him what happened, but he wasn't in the mood to tell you.

♡ The rest of Sae's stay was...awkward and tense, to say the least. Despite your attempts to catch up with Sae and lighten the mood, your brothers were unreceptive (Sae) and downright hostile (Rin). Then Sae leaves for Spain without another word, and you're left alone with Rin again. Watching Rin leave for training with a new determination set in his jaw, like he was out for murder, you felt as though you lost both your brothers that night.

♡ Rin opens up to you about the incident months after it happened, late at night while you're getting a drink from the kitchen. Your parents are in their room, out of earshot. He tells you everything, what Sae said about wanting to become a midfielder, the humiliating game that ensued, what Sae said to Rin after, how Rin is going to destroy him, destroy his life, destroy everything-

♡ You listen to Rin's furious, hurt, vulnerable ramblings and come to a conclusion: Idealistic plans made with someone else doesn't do you both any good. All it does is limit the both of you and cause disappointment. You did your best to comfort Rin, but that was the last time he confided in you for a long time.

♡ Okay, time for some headcanons more specific to you and having the Itoshi brothers as your siblings or this would just be an Itoshi brothers and middle child Itoshi fanfic. You can treat it as an AU where the Itoshi incident™ never happened, so they grew up to be well adjusted people, or the future when the Itoshi brothers have made up and are now normal about things. Whatever works for you.

Sae

♡ Sae influenced you to be logistically oriented growing up, since the three of you were so close. Seeing his brazenness probably taught you to have confidence in yourself too. You both get along well because of this, except when you butt heads because you both can be quite stubborn and prideful. The way you think your emotions shouldn't affect your performance also sounds just like Sae.

♡ The way you end up losing contact with people who don't live up to your standards for a relationship is. not great but Sae would encourage it. HE WOULD 😭 As far as he's concerned, you shouldn't be wasting time on people who don't benefit you (like someone who would distract you rather than encourage you to work towards your goals) or aren't even interesting enough to justify having your attention. It's harsh, but that's the way Sae operates, especially now when he's older. He doesn't have energy to deal with people that drain him, and he wants you to have that same mindset to some degree.

♡ Growing up with Sae and Rin is probably why you like straightforwardness. They're blunt and refuse to beat around the bush, so communication with them is easy in the way that it's easy for you to know what they want or what they're thinking. As long as no serious emotions are involved, that's another thing. Everyone can tell where your communication style comes from after talking to either one of your brothers for longer than two minutes. It's crazy how you share so similarities with them yet turned out the complete opposite in other ways.

♡ You like cats? Part two. Good for you because Sae is quite cat coded. He's quiet and silently affectionate, doing things for you so subtly you might not even realise it. He can get quite petty sometimes too. Sulks like a cat. To everyone else he looks pissed as always, but you can tell the difference when not even Rin can.

♡ Acts of service is definitely one of Sae's main giving love languages (it seems to be in a tight battle with gift giving and quality time). Maybe you and Rin got it from him. He often keeps your favourite snacks in mind when buying groceries, lets you have a seat in overcrowded trains, brings you cut fruit (like an Asian parent) while you're working on your homework frustratedly. But don't ask him to help you with it. He does not know basic math. Did he even attend high school (joking)?

♡ If the beach is Sae and Rin's special place, your special place with Sae is this playground not too far from your childhood home. Growing up, he would accompany you whenever you wanted some fresh air, push you on the swings. He was hardly ever interested in playing on the swings himself. The image of you hanging out by the space(idk what it's called) in front of the slide while it's pitch black outside, the only light source being a bright orange streetlight and Sae standing nearby just watching you popped into my head. The vision, okay?

♡ As older siblings, the both of you are morally and biologically obligated to annoy Rin. It's a great sibling bonding activity, playing pranks on him or just barging into his room to bother him before he chases you out. Sae likes to tell white lies and convince Rin they're true until he goes "really?" and Sae will go "no :/". You like to ruffle Rin's hair. Poor Rin probably gets pissed off at least once every day. But hey, it's not like he doesn't have his own ways of getting back at you.

Rin

♡ Like Sae, Rin is also very straightforward. When you ask to hang out with him and he's busy, he'll just tell you and suggest another time. Very clear communication with no hard feelings. Despite having strong opinions most of the time, the chances of him agreeing to whatever you ask of him is 50-50. You have older sister privileges. Use it well. You could convince him to cosplay and attend an event with you if you try hard enough. He will look sour the entire time, but hey.

♡ Rin was neutral about frozen fruit at first, but you managed to convert him into a frozen fruit lover after making him try frozen strawberries. Hope you like sharing because he's stealing at least one of whatever frozen fruit you're eating now. He likes doing it when you're not looking too, so you won't even notice unless you catch him in the act. It's most fun for him when you're down to your last berry and he steals it from right under your nose. You look down, realise your last fruit is gone and immediately know who the culprit is.

♡ You taught him to ice skate. He doesn't like roller skating as much, but ice skating is cool. It was also one of the good things he could look forward to in winter after the Itoshi incident™, so there's that. Somehow, you always find a way to make him feel better, even when you're not there. Your presence bleeds into his life. That's what it means to have a sibling. Then you both managed to convince Sae to try it out too, and found out that, to your shared delight, that he's the worst at it out of the three of you. He refuses to ice skate ever again.

♡ It's easy for him to tell when you have too much energy while working because you'll be fidgeting or getting up to walk around too much. Even if you have no idea what he's talking about, he'll insist you look like you're on a sugar rush. His solution to this? Make you exercise. A short workout, a walk outside. Just something to get your energy out. If you don't want to? Well... He gets a strange burst of energy once in a blue moon where he gets the urge to play with you. What is Itoshi Rin's form of play (with a sister)? Tickle fighting. He'll tickle you until you're slumped over your seat, exhausted in a boneless way. Like a deflated balloon. And then he'll leave, happy that you're finally not bothering him from across the house. As for whether you get any work done after that... That's not his problem.

♡ Both Sae and Rin never argue with your parents. If they want to listen or just don't care, they'll agree or go along with whatever your parents say. If they don't want to listen, they just ignore your parents and do what they were gonna do anyway. 💀😭 They could never as children, but they're all grown up now. Rin still spends more time with you and your parents than Sae, so whenever he hears you start to disagree with them, he'll roll his eyes and start scrolling on his phone to entertain himself until y'all are done. Do not involve him in your arguments, especially if it doesn't concern him.

♡ Rin is also big on acts of service. Guess it runs in the whole Itoshi family. Whenever you guys go shopping, the only bag he'll let you carry is whatever you brought with you into the mall. Heavy grocery bags, small bags of any accessories or clothes you got, even tiny plastic bags for candy or makeup or whatever, he's carrying all of them. No, he is not flexing to impress girls, where did you get that idea from? What's sad is that he's being serious. Also goes to your class to bring you stuff you forgot at home and chides you for being so careless. You always find that more female classmates talk to you after he leaves.

♡ Sae isn't big on physical affection, so Rin is the one more likely to give you hugs and cuddles. Rin's touchiness is most obvious when he's feeling sleepy in the car. He'll put his head on your shoulder and doze off peacefully. He'll let you do the same with him if you're also feeling sleepy. As opposed to Sae who would rather lean his head on the car door and risk hitting his head when the car goes over a speed bump. He remembered to buy a neck pillow eventually.

Notes: At first I thought about matching you with Bachira, then decided to go for a more opposite kind of dynamic. Rin came to mind, so of course, Sae comes as a package deal too. But I wanted to think of a deeper reason for your sibling match, then the perfect idea came to mind. The lore matches, I'm so happy with this matchup. 😭

About your moodboard because I got strangely excited over it

Red sunglasses: Your favourite colour is red and you wear glasses Blue popsicles: Self-explanatory. Also beach background Yellow roller skates: You like roller skating and give off yellow vibes online Egg: You used to go by "Eggo". Wordplay on your real name. There's also a smiley face, because you're very silly :) Reindeer slippers: Red again and you like festive holidays Swings: Three of them for the three siblings. Blue, yellow and red, the primary colours prominent in the moodboard Aquarium: Related to the sea Cat: You like cats and also yellow Raspberries: Red and you like frozen fruit, raspberries fall in a subset

[navibluebees]

Someone to be Proud of (Recom Quaritch x Female Human Reader) Part 2

Please read before interacting.

So, I decided I wasn't finished with cutie Quaritch from the smut. I really like the idea of his recom being a better person. Seeing the beauty of Pandora and becoming reformed. If you think redemption arcs aren't a good time, no worries, the first part can be read as a standalone. If you need more of the soft, conflicted side of him, I hope you read and enjoy! Also no smut in this part, but there will be in the future, clearly marked.

The next morning, you woke up alone. Confused, you looked around the room, seeing no sign of Miles. A note crinkled on the pillow next to yours.

Gone for a meeting. I hope to see you soon.

Miles

Your mouth spread into a smile as you flopped back, enjoying having the giant bed all to yourself.

~~~

You hadn’t planned for this. The “walk of shame”. There was nothing to be ashamed about, though. Two consenting adults enjoying each other’s bodies… Although it probably wasn’t too common that the adults were different species. Minor detail. Your clothes and slippers were already on. Being in the hallway wasn’t ideal but no so bad as the initial challenge: leaving the Colonel’s room without anyone connecting you to him. You weren’t embarrassed  of last night, but its not like you needed everyone to know, either.

As logistics support, your bunk was a little down the hall and around a few corners. With a deep breath, you opened the door and peeked out in either direction. So far so good. Sneaking quietly down the hall, you barely managed to avoid a few of Miles’ team talking together about their new mission. It seemed to be a continuation of what they were doing the first time around, but you didn’t catch much more than that. A sigh of relief and you whipped around the corner straight into a blue chest. 

Corporal Wainfleet gripped you by the arms to steady you. “Ah! Hey Y/N. Good morning. Nice.. are those bunnies?”

Flustered by getting caught and having your sleepwear examined, you stepped back, lifting a hand to gently break his hold. “Yes, Wainfleet. These are, in fact, rabbits. Now, if you’ll excuse me.” You made to step around him and he started in with, “Aw come on. Don’t be like that..”

“LYLE!”

Lyle snapped to attention and your head shot up at the call from across the room. He was heading toward you. His pants were cinched at his waist, wearing a sleeveless shirt. Even though you’d seen the man naked the night before, his presence as a leader was somehow more overwhelming. “Lyle, are you harassing the poor girl?”

“No, sir. Would never, sir.”

“Alright, then, at ease. Y/N I had some questions about a report, let’s walk together.”

~~~

A minute later, he was following you down the hall, toward your room.

“Sorry, I tried to be cautious, but I guess I’m not too skilled with that.”

“It’s alright,” he huffed, amused. “You have other talents.”

You gasped and he ducked away, avoiding your swinging fist. He caught it in the air while you playfully tried to fight him. He laughed quietly, his eyes crinkling up. “You’re too easy to mess with.”

Spinning around to continue down the hall, you ignored his quip and were almost to your room when he stepped quickly to you in a few strides. “Can I come in?” He asked when you paused outside your door. “I’ve got a few things to tell you.”

Heart settling with nerves, you nodded. He ducked in, coming into your human-sized room and sitting on the edge of the bed, almost daintily, afraid to move. Your small room had a bathroom with a shower, a small bed, and a desk to work at. A few personal items were scattered about and he analyzed your room with keen eyes. 

“I’ve got to get ready for work, so can you talk while I shower?”

He looked mildly flustered but nodded and you smiled to yourself, enjoying the effect you had on him. He sat on the floor of the bathroom, averting his eyes when you undressed and got in the shower.

“So.. you know we’ve come here for a mission. Hell, you probably know some more things than I do. Do you know much about the war 15 years ago?”

You had been a young child, around 10 years old and only heard whispers. As you got older, you researched and saw everything. The people native to Pandora had attacked and killed so many humans, forcing them to come back to Earth. It was unbelievable. You relayed everything you could to him. 

“Yeah, that’s about what happened. So my soldier, the traitor Jake Sully, he abandoned our cause. We were just trying to take care of our own back on Earth. He betrayed us. So now, our mission is to take our revenge and make it so this new colony can thrive.”

You nodded along, connecting more of the dots of Miles’ history. 

“But the thing is.. I’m not really me. I mean, I feel like Miles. But I’m not the same man. I’m in a whole new body and feeling really unsure. I have all his feelings yet I’m not him but I am and heck, all these twists are really messing with my mind.”

You cut the water off and stepped out of the shower. Pulling a towel around you, you moved into his space and sat down in his lap. His arms circled you and he cuddled you close.

“So now, the mission and everything, we’re about to head out for it.”

You jerked back, a bit pained and looked questioningly at him, brow furrowed. He swiped a thumb across your cheek. “Last night was really special to me and I’d like to do it again. I’ll call you when I can and hopefully we can wrap the mission up quick.” He pressed a quick kiss to your forehead and squeezed you tight. Helping you up and making his way into your room, he paused right before he opened the door. You reached out first. 

“Be safe. I’ll miss you.”

His smile quirked and he yanked you in for one more quick hug. “I’ll be back in the blink of an eye.”

~~~

The recom team was sent out that day to Bridgehead. The day was boring without the team coming in and out of the office area. Due to the ship carrying a variety of passengers, the work area was kind of a catch-all. You signed up to come to Pandora for a new opportunity. The recruiter had said they needed someone to come along for logistics and statistics, so most of your days were spent staring at numbers and watching words blur together. You’d be able to do more once you could work with other people in your area down in the colony. 

You got a message that your ship was due to head out two days from then. Only a matter of time before you could see Miles again.

~~~

Your heart raced as you were sent down to Pandora. Making sure your mask was sealed, you followed the line of people into the tall entry building and tried not to stop and gape at everything. The technology that had been created in such a short time was astounding. Miles had sent a quick message to you saying that he had made it safely and that he had big news. Your body was a mess of nerves as you wandered around that night, trying to find him. Since neither of you had been here before, you weren’t able to plan a meeting place.

Asking people for directions, you managed to find out where the recoms were staying. You hurried to the bay where they were staying and poked your head in. Zdinarsk saw you and gave a small wave, popping a bubble. You stepped in and smiled at the others, who greeted you enthusiastically. They asked how the last few days had been. “Boring without you all, of course,” you retorted. They burst into laughter, echoing around the bay. Right then, Miles came in, chastising. 

“Alright, alright, y’all keep it down-“ he cut off right when he saw you and he stepped to you quickly. His chest moved in shallow, nervous breaths that he tried to hide before he grabbed your hand and pulled you back into the hall. He yanked you roughly against him, causing you to yelp and and flinch. “God, sorry. So sorry. I just, you gotta see this.” He took you swiftly down the hall, you having to run to keep up.

He brought you to what looked like interrogation rooms you’d seen on old police shows, all empty except for the one on the end. A boy. Human. He threw a chair against the wall and yelled toward the camera. You gasped and covered your mouth, confused and distressed. The boy was in a loincloth and had hair formed into locs, blue paint across his body. “Miles what’s going on?”

“Y/N… that’s my kid.”

[big-greenboy]

I saw all the knight imagery, and wanted to put this out there.

Me, “totally cis girl”, who loved when girls had to pretend to be a boy for plot reasons.

I’d imagine myself as a princess, uncomfortable that I couldn’t choose who I am, already having my identity decided for me. I can’t even choose whom I will marry, my husband will be decided by a fight. A handful of brave men fighting in armor for my hand in marriage. What no one knew was that I would join the arena.

But first I needed to practice. I misuse a corset to flatten my chest enough to fit into a knight’s armor (don’t actually do this; idk the actual logistics of this; this is all imaginary). I’d run off to practice sometime in the night, so I wouldn’t be seen.

Despite my (poor) efforts, I’m found. But he doesn’t have a clue. He addresses me as another man. I give him a fake babe to call me, a masculine name. My helmet makes it hard to tell if I’m a girl or just a guy with a higher voice. He asks if I am training for the battle to get the princess’ hand (to which I say yes) and if I need help (which I gladly accept). He tries me he’s out late because he spends so much time taking care of his family, but wants to marry into money to help his family, that’s why he’ll participate in the battle too.

Night after night, we practice. You can imagine it now. Two ‘men’, with mutual respect for each other, under the stars, fighting each other it swords? Talking and flirting as we practice… slowly falling in love… But, shit, He’s falling for another man? Isn’t he supposed to keep his heart saved for the princess? Not doing other knight? And me, conflicted because I promised I’d never get married and become ‘some wife’, yet here I am, hoping he wins.

The tournament comes. I sneak off to participate for my own hand. But I see him. We fight other people, avoiding each other because we don’t want to truly fight each other. But one of us sees that the other is about to be attacked from behind, and we jump in to save them. We make eye contact.

We then start to fight together, us against them. It’s unheard of, to help each other, but that means there’s no rules against it either and there’s nothing they can do to stop us. Win after win, each time we stand back to back, it’s instant dopamine to our brains, a silent communication that I love him, and he loves me.

Everyone is defeated, either giving up or carried out by nurses. All except us. The crowd, once cheering for us, falls completely silent. No one knows what to do.

The knight is conflicted. He wants to marry the princess to save his family, but he doesn’t want to deny his love for this man he met. I am conflicted because I swore to myself I’d never marry, but I couldn’t deny my love for him.

But I think back to why I made that promise. I was scared of being exactly what my parents want me to be, a queen. I was scared I’d have my husband chosen for me. I was scared my husband wouldn’t respect my identity. But I don’t need to be scared of him. I don’t need to be scared of any of that. It’s him and me against the world, right?

I sheath my sword, and turn to him. I take off my helmet. He sees me for the first time…

[insert us finally making out; my parents, the king and queen, conflicted and confused; crowd cheering; my parents just go along with it; we get married]

Despite our marriage, he called me ‘king’ out of respect. The kingdom starts to call me ‘king’ instead of ‘queen’. He calls me by both names, my princess name, and my knight name. He calls me husband and wife, interchangeably, not caring if the kingdom hears him calling me the masculine name or ‘husband’. He doesn’t see me as “man” or “woman”, whether I wear a dress, armor, or suit. He only sees me as me.

_________

Sorry this wasn’t NSFW, cause I know a lot of this tag is NSFW. But I want more SFW stuff.

Also, I’m sorry this is so long he. I didn’t mean it to be. I got carried away.

Also also, I’m 99% sure I’m just genderfluid and an egg. 🥚

~Kittanon🐾

Thank you for this pearl! You should definitely write more because you're super talented, have a great day!

[cloudwhisper23]

I saw this 20 questions for fic writers thing on my dash, so I'm doing it now that I'm back to my computer! Also expect writing to return soon, lol

1. How many works do you have on A03?

I currently have 9 works on Ao3! That number would be way higher if I posted all the fics I wrote on Tumblr to Ao3 though.

2. What's your total A03 word count?

Total.... hang on, I need a calculator for this one.

271,112 words! I thought it would be higher, tbh. But again, I don't post everything to Ao3, so that's just a fraction of my writing.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

I write for Five Nights at Freddy's (the games) and Hollow Knight. I do also write for other stuff, but I don't post it, so that's not important.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Misguided Protection

There Are Others

Finding a Home

Deal with the Devil

Becoming a Family

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try my best to respond to comments. Typically it'll be an emoji response, mainly to acknowledge my readers when they get all excited. But sometimes people have suggestions or questions, and I feel that if I wrote something confusing, it's my job to explain what's going on (only for fanfiction though. Since I don't revise it before I post)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Hmmm.... Probably There Are Others, since I at least tried to give most of them happy endings. But this fic is the reason my friends keep a kill count.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Misguided Protection

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really? It's more that people challenge my view and how I chose to write the story, but I've never gotten outright hate before.

9. Do you write smut?

I don't post it, but yeah.

10. Do you write crossovers?

Within the same fandom. I write crossovers of different AUs within the same fandom, but I do not write crossovers between fandoms. Not currently, at least.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

No

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Yes, but it never saw the light of day (it was a minecraft fic I co-wrote with someone in elementary school)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

All-time? Uhhhh, I've determined that gay ships are absolutely my favorite thing ever. So my favorite is probably one of those. But it changes depending on fandom fixations honestly. Buuuuut, outside of fandom logistics, I'd still say Jeremike. Even though it's a silly one. I just love how people write that ship.

15. What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I have a giant incomplete folder of fnaf fics that I've started writing, but they haven't seen the light of day. Which means I've forgotten a bunch of stuff within that. But truth be told, I do want to continue writing Becoming a Family, even though I don't think I'll ever touch it again. My flow just never seems to be in the right place when I try to work on it.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I'm good at silly banter and dialogue in general.

I'm pretty good at adapting to sudden challenges in my writing (aka, plotholes that I've already posted) to still justify things happening as well. But not nearly as good as I am at dialogue.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I'm terrible at writing descriptions. I'll never forget the day I realized my friends genuinely thought my OC Mikayla was tall, despite how much I tried to write her as short. I usually don't write with physical characteristics in mind, so that used to be my justification, but since i had a clear picture in mind and it did not come across properly, I have to say descriptions are my weakness.

I'd also say romance, but my friends tell me I'm better than I think I am.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I stress out about that sort of thing. I wrote in Spanish for an art trade once (dialogue only, of course), and I made my friends fact-check every sentence to ensure it sounded natural. I could do it, but it's not really something I enjoy.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

MCYT. It was a different group of people back then, but that notebook is still sitting in my house, and I still get embarassed just thinking about it.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

My favorite? Honestly, it's one I'm writing right now. It's a fnaf fic, but I haven't posted much about it yet. It's called Runaway Mike, and I'm super excited about how it's turning out so far. Probably not one I'll post for a while yet.

[wanderingmipsy]

Oh boy... buckle up... I was 21 and on my first first date and it was hilarious and really is biggest "i'm ace" flag I have.

To preface I am terrible at flirting/interest cues so the guy I had my first kiss with and I were already off to a weird start. In the first day we had known each other he had had to stop me from walking, look me dead in the face and say "hey, I like you, I am trying to spend time with you please stop trying to catch up to the group unless you are also not interested" (who had been trying all day to give us alone time as they are NOT bad at seeing flirting). He had also had to, not an hour previous to the kiss, during the date looked in my eyes and said "please stop moving your had away I do not need more armrest I'm trying to hold your hand". Bless this man, I liked him right back and due to aforementioned awkward and clueless behavior it had come up that I hadn't dated anyone previously- remember this for later.

So to set the scene we had been talking books at dinner and he is like oh, you should borrow this book from me I think you would like it. Logical little me was like, oh well I can come get it from your place before I drive home because its on the way and I have been looking for a new book. He is into this, I am unclear on why he is happy but I'm happy to have made him happy.

Post dinner we go back to his place and he offers for me to come in while he looks for the book, I say it's fine, you weren't expecting company I'll wait on the porch (cue mildly confused look but he rolls with it). He come back with the book right about when it starts to rain in earnest. We are standing on the porch talking, its sunset, raining in the most sort of storybook romance way, the streetlights are the illumination, the universe was trying to make it romantic but I'm present so it doesn't last, I'm trying to figure out how you end a date without making it weird.

Into what is becoming an increaseingly erratic series of comments from me he says "hey, I'd like to kiss you, is that ok" (this was a decade before consent is sexy was a thing, he was a lovely guy). I am flustered but would also like to kiss him, I say yes and as he leans in I realize I have a major problem right as his face gets to mine. I have seen other people kiss but have never really taken any time to consider what the face logistics might be if I was kissing someone. This poor man kisses me with my eyes wide open and a mild grimace on my face leaving my lips parted and teeth together. He gets a wall of teeth to kiss and pulls back, unsurprisingly mildly surprised. We stare at each other in confusion for a few seconds and he goes "was that bad, you didn't want to," and begins to apologize right about the same time I blurt out "um what am I supposed to do with my face" (I wish I was kidding but its the honest truth of what I said).

This lovely patient man stares at me for a solid 5 seconds as I melt in mortification and then starts laughing "you really meant you hadnt dated anyone I figured you had to be being polite, which was fine but you actually meant that". Being the dear lovely man he explained the logistics after some initial confusion of how to make a step by step list out of a kiss. It went a little like "um well you make kind of kiss lips but like don't squeeze them together and maybe close your eyes" (solid advice our second kiss at least was lip to lip). It took some experiments to figure it out but we got pretty good at kissing after that.

So yeah, my first kiss is the stuff of comedy ledgend.

[madschool01]

What you need for a career switch to becoming a designer

Career switching in Singapore can be a daunting experience for anyone, whether you're making a small pivot or taking a massive leap into a completely new field. It’s a step out of your comfort zone, and even with the countless pieces of advice and wisdom from friends, colleagues, or the internet, uncertainty often lingers. The thought of starting fresh and learning the ropes can feel overwhelming, especially in a competitive landscape like Singapore.

This is particularly true for creative industries such as design. Unlike more conventional fields, creative roles are often dynamic, requiring a blend of technical expertise and artistic intuition. If you're switching from a completely unrelated profession—whether you're in finance, teaching, or logistics—moving into design can feel like a whole new world.

The design umbrella itself covers a wide spectrum of roles: from graphic design to UX/UI, fashion to product design, and beyond. It can be confusing figuring out where to start, what skills to learn, and what resources to tap into. In Singapore, the design industry is flourishing, with many opportunities available for those willing to upskill and get involved. But before diving in, it's important to understand the essentials for making that switch.

Whether you're exploring courses, building a portfolio, or networking with local designers, having a strategic approach will make the transition smoother. In this article, we’ll cover the key steps you’ll need to take if you’re planning a career switch to become a designer in Singapore.

We’ll help guide you through the resources available, from design courses to certifications, and discuss how to get your foot in the door of this exciting, ever-evolving field. Whether you’re eyeing graphic design, interior design, or UX/UI, our guide is here to help you navigate this journey.

Identifying Your Niche

There are many kinds of designers, ranging from user experience designers to product designers and more, and each requires their own area of expertise. Before immersing yourself into a career in design, it would be good to have a rough idea of what kind of design you would like to focus on. A clear goal would enable you to specialise much earlier, dedicating your time and effort into gaining knowledge and skills in that line of work. Given the stage of life you may be at when undertaking this career switch, time may well be of the essence.

To learn more about the different kinds of design professions, dive into research online, or reach out to others already working in these roles to hear their experiences. After all, what better way to get an authentic view of a profession than to hear it straight from the horse’s mouth? If you are more of a hands-on person, try sourcing for taster courses online, or in-person. These courses are more touch-and-go, but can give you a brief overview of what each design role encompasses, and what individuals in these lines of work may have to deal with every day. From this, it may be easier to formulate an opinion on which design job is most suitable for you.

Of course, if you are still not entirely sure which role suits you best, and you can afford the time to explore, it is fine to dabble in different areas of design until you discover what works best for you. A career switch should never be a hasty, uninformed decision, and you should take the time to carefully weigh the costs and benefits of your prospective path.

Design Diploma

If you have long since stepped out of school, you might be thinking reluctantly, “Why do I need to go through this again?” Understandably, getting a design diploma may sound like a massive time sink, coupled with the time loss from starting a different profession anew. In truth, obtaining this diploma is an extremely worthwhile investment.

Having a diploma opens doors for you professionally, as it vouches for your competence and credibility. When prospective employers see that you have a design diploma – be it a graphic design diploma, a user experience design diploma, or any other kind of design diploma – it immediately informs them that you have attained a solid foundation, and this may net you more opportunities, especially in companies, who may sort potential candidates based on the qualifications on their resume.

Gaining a shiny new qualification aside, a design diploma course arms you with the hard skills and a comprehensive understanding of design principles necessary to stay afloat in the design industry. Of course, you could always attempt to pick these up through self-learning. However, this can take far longer, and you would have to locate resources on your own. A diploma course has the added benefit of being more structured, which allows you to learn in a more systematic way compared to self-learning, while keeping you on task. The access to dedicated lecturers, fellow learners and specialised resources also grants you greater support towards your professional growth and development.

For those currently working a full-time job, you might be concerned about being able to balance a diploma course alongside your current schedule. Thankfully, design schools offering diploma courses have become more aware of the growing demand from working adults to upskill themselves, and some have started offering evening classes, which may be more ideal for your tight schedule.

Design Portfolio

Should you have conducted your own research prior to reading this article, “Design Portfolio” is likely the most common phrase that has popped up as a requirement for entering the design industry. As the saying goes, “A picture speaks a thousand words” – as does a design portfolio for a designer. A design portfolio is critical to any designer, since it explicitly showcases the range of projects you have worked on, and allows prospective employers or clients to get a better sense of your abilities, and artistic direction, in the case of more artistic design professions.

This begets the question – how should you make a design portfolio?

Trailing off our previous point, enrolling in a design diploma course would require you to work on your own projects as deliverables, which can serve as samples to use in your portfolio. Otherwise, to grow your portfolio, consider developing your own samples. Depending on the design profession you are looking at, this can range from case studies and your solutions to address them, graphic design samples, or anything creative you have produced in your own time. You never know – it could be a personal project that earns you your new position one day!

As for presenting your portfolio, it would be ideal to have a website to feature all of your past works. This not only makes it easier for others to look through your portfolio, but the appearance of your website also lends itself as a testament to your design abilities – so do not underestimate its potential, and ensure that it looks clean and presentable.

            Switching careers to a design role can certainly present its challenges, but it’s often less daunting than it appears. The key steps involve building a foundation of knowledge and experience, developing a standout portfolio, and possibly enrolling in a graphic design course in Singapore.

Such courses help you pick up essential hard skills, gain industry-relevant certification, and boost your confidence in this creative field. For anyone starting out, creating a portfolio that showcases your talent and potential is critical.

A well-structured design course not only teaches you the tools of the trade—like Adobe Creative Suite or typography—but also provides an environment where you can start crafting your first professional projects. By acquiring a solid blend of practical experience and academic training through a properly crafted program, you set yourself on a path to transform your passion into a sustainable career. We hope this guide has provided a roadmap to kickstart your journey into the dynamic world of design.

[glemmerdash-piecesof8]

continued....hope are enjoying,Caragh

‘So I wake up like normal everyday and take all the herbs and go to bed early.’

‘And no internet.’

‘No internet?’

No internet, no phone.’

‘What about the others? Shane will update you but only if you ask.’

Roo sat down. ‘No phone, no internet, no electricity for a month. She thought and thought and then remembered how Curtis had said the French theorist he liked only had a landline. She listened to the birds for a long time while Jatetsu did some stretches. Shane came out looking slightly more wild than usual and Jatetsu got him his breakfast, which he ate with gusto, making Jatetsu smile.

He finished and then looked at Roo who had been staring at him on and off for 10 minutes. He smiled, ‘Penny for your thoughts baby.’

Roo leaned back. ‘Jatetsu says no internet and no phone for me.’

‘Mmmmm,’ Shane said, ‘We discussed it and it’s for the best for at least a month. Luther and Luke think so too. And obviously Curtis and Dee think it’s a good idea too.’

Roo nodded.

‘It’s for the best Roo.’

Roo played with the pot plant on the table and said hesitantly, ‘And would you all support me to do it permanently. Like help the kids with homework and do all logistics that involve email. I am happy to just read books and the newspaper if I need to find things out.’

Shane looked thoughtful. ‘I can ask the others, say we do a trial for 6 months and then see how it’s working out practically. How does that sound?’

Roo nodded and Jatetsu beamed and told Dee who was coming back with some winter Jasmine for the table. Dee smiled and then pointed at her wrist,looking [RvS51] at Roo and saying ‘We start in 30 minutes.’ Roo nodded and then Shane dragged her up. ‘Time for qigong.’ And Jatetsu disappeared, leaving her feeling less self-conscious as she copied Shane.

Dee kept her busy the rest of the day and when it started getting dark Shane came back from the shed before having an acupuncture session while the others made dinner. This pattern continued for 10 days, with Roo slowly getting more and more interested in what she was learning.

Dee talked each day about what she needed to know about the people in her life and how best to handle them. She also taught her how to handle them. She also taught her how to do self-massage and explained in detail to her how to manage her herbs. The rest of the time she spent teaching her how to cook.

Roo was feeling better and was realising Dee might be right about the dietary advise she had given and realised she was learning to cook in a way that would make Luke and Luther happy and that made her smile.

After the 10 days she woke up by herself in the morning so Dee made a new timetable and went to another room and came back with a bag of books for Roo.

‘These books are from fans. I want you to read these first,’ she said, putting down a book on permaculture and another on the money supply. ‘By the end of next week we will film you explaining those two books.’

Roo got defiant. ‘And if I don’t?’

‘Jatetsu and I will leave,’ Dee looked right into Roo’s eyes and said, ‘You need to start doing some work.’

Roo tried to be grumpy but she eventually looked at the covers of the books and went to Dee to apologise. Dee looked at her with love and gave her a squeeze. ‘Which one should I start with?’

‘The money supply,’ Dee said firmly. ‘The banks have to stop making money out of thin air,’ and then Dee went for a walk, leaving her stunned[RvS52] .

She went to find Shane in the shed and Shane came out looking slightly weary and then he saw the book. ‘So she’s decided you need to start work then.’ Roo nodded. ‘Yes, we all think that has to become central to our message. They sent us 15 copies so everyone has read it except you.’ Roo looked confused. ‘But we have our issues.’

Shane looked at her a little exasperated, desperate to get back to work. ‘Remember Valarie talking about ecocide law?’ Roo nodded. ‘Well this is as big as ecocide law. It’s our duty Roo. I need to work now, some big names are dropping out because Valarie is involved but there are so many that still want to be involved, it looks like we are going to have to have multiple tours. Thomas is saying we can make a spin off just about the tours. He wants us to have our own international channel called ‘of the birds’, so I am really busy Roo. You need to just read a chapter of each of the books a day and then discuss them naturally with us on camera. You have to do that part Roo. The others are coming to camp on Sunday and you need to be ready by then.’

Roo looked at Shane and her heart sunk as he roughly kissed her and then disappeared back in the shed. She was all alone with the words of a stranger. She sighed and then wondered down to the stream and found somewhere to sit before loosing herself in the scandal that is fiat money.

She had heard some of this before but she had always written it off as a conspiracy theory. She started getting a little hostile and then went back to read the foreword. Yes, it wasn’t even written by a socialist but rather someone who identified as a capitalist but not a neo-capitalist.

The words started pounding in her brain and then she felt a hand on her shoulder and looked up, feeling calmer immediately when she realised that it was Jatetsu. He took her hand and they walked up the hill for a silent lunch.

Shane wasn’t there so Jatetsu took him something to eat, leaving Dee and Roo sitting in silence. Dee motioned for Roo’s wrist and she handed it over. Dee checked her pulse and then said ‘One more hour of reading and then you’re with me for the rest of the day.’ Roo nodded looking relieved and then went off to finish the book.

She lay down on a blanket on the grass outside and read about how countries left the gold standard and how it was all downhill from there. They then described how a bank creates money out of thin air by creating a loan.

Roo frowned. She didn’t want to believe this information because it seemed like some huge scam that pretty much everyone she knew had fallen for. Wow, she thought, 97% of new money is created by banks, not the mint.

She put the book down and collected the blanket, letting the wind play with it for a moment as she shook it out.

Inside Dee had some tea ready and she smiled at Roo. She took Roo’s pulse and then smiled. ‘I think we can just do some moxa later, how does that sound?’

Roo nodded. ‘Great. I don’t feel like lying still for the needles.’

Dee started talking about herbs she could grow in the English climate and Roo concentrated as she learnt where to plant them and what to harvest. Roo slumped when she had finished talking and Dee asked what was wrong.

‘It’s just herbs seem so silly to focus on when the others are all off changing the world.’

Dee nodded and poured some tea but was quiet. ‘I know, I know, they can’t do it without me and I need to look after everyone’s health but it just seems like a withdrawal. I should be fighting for the things they are doing, or be writing poetry or something beautiful.’ There was silence for a while and then Dee started talking about how herbalism was under attack from big pharma and that people needed to learn how to heal themselves by tending nature and being less dependent on the psychology of pills. Then she said, ‘Roo, you need to sit at all the press conferences and smile. You are part of a team now - you don’t have to do everything.’ Then she led Roo to the treatment room and did some moxa and let her drift off for a change while she made dinner.

Until the others arrived Roo studied the book on the money supply until she could remember all the concepts and dates and learnt about herbs in the afternoon.

When the others arrived they all gave Roo a hug and then Luther introduced the two kids him and Carl had adopted. They had done a deedpoll [RvS53] for them to change their names and the one had insisted he wanted his English name to be Marvelous, while the little girl had decided on Lily.

They had both decided they wanted to be filmed but so far had been very very quiet according to Luther. When the filming stopped Luther took Roo aside and asked how she was, with the conversation eventually leading to the book. She smiled, ‘I am ready to talk about it now.’

‘Good,’ said Luther, ‘The author is coming tomorrow to be interviewed by you.’

Roo was a little flabbergasted and then remembered Shane had said about work and smiled.

She went to find Luke but he was nowhere to be found so she went and helped set up the campfire before it got too dark and played with the kids with Fiona and Franny.

When they were eating stew that night Franny and Robert and Shane were around her. They seemed to want to talk about something so eventually Roo said ‘So, what’s happening?’

They all looked at each other and smiled. ‘I was talking to the director of the documentary and when he found out I was involved with Pieces of 8 he had an idea.’ Roo nodded and so Robert continued. ‘He wants to incorporate it into the show, but we said we can make it a travel programme and give people pointers of what to do about it, i.e. stop drinking coffee.’

Shane blushed and Robert notices and said ‘Don’t worry mate, we won’t out you. Your stuff is alright.’ They all laughed and Roo was thoughtful. ‘So how would that work with the tour?’

‘Well, we would arrive 2 weeks early and film, you would be there for the opening of the tour and then we would go off filming again and then come back for the end of the tour to close it.’ Roo thought for a while and then asked ‘Could we do a show with Dee and me learning about cooking and herbs and so on too from local people?’ Shane smiled and Robert and Franny conferred and then Robert smiled. ‘I suppose we could have another set of camera people to film you two while we got nature shots. I don’t see the executive producer saying no.’

Shane disappeared to go and find Jatetsu. When they returned, Shane was beaming, they sat down and then Jatetsu started talking about what he had been learning the last two weeks. ‘I have been practising filming and now I feel confident to do it. So I would like to film Roo and Dee talking to locals and learning about herbs.’ Everyone smiled and then they all hugged. ‘It’s going to be great,’ said Shane. Carl appeared with marshmallows and they listened to him tell stories about the kids with such a joyful spirit, they were all infected with his surprising joy.

When the expert arrived the next day Roo was quite nervous but she was ready and had a flask of special tea to drink while they got ready. He was an old man but he was tall and strong so when Jatetsu asked him if he was happy to walk Bob said yes.

So Jatetsu led them through the woods until they arrived at a field of bluebells. It was so unexpected and beautiful it took Roo’s breath away. There was a glade which didn’t have bluebells but you would still be able to see them from the video. Beltrano appeared with chairs, he seemed to have become the master of logistics, while everyone else sat down on blankets.

Jatetsu and Robert fiddled with the camera and then they were ready to start. Jatetsu and Dee prepared some tea in a tea ceremony for everyone and then after some silence they started.

‘Hello Bob, welcome, and thank you for spending time to come and talk to us about the money supply.’

‘Thank you Roo. It’s a pleasure.’

‘So, it’s a big subject, but I am wondering if you could give us some context about how this situation came into being.’

‘Let me tell you a story Roo. About 20 years ago I was happily teaching a seminar to some masters students at a university I was a lecturer at when one of students interrupted me and said ‘Can you explain the money supply please. I have done the whole undergrad and I still haven’t found anything to disprove that banks don’t create money out of debt.’ I hadn’t heard of anything like this before and at the time still thought that only the Bank of England through the Mint created money. This young lad had found out how things work but I didn’t believe him and told him it was a conspiracy theory and after the class told him he needed to see a psychiatrist.

That was the most stupid and cruel thing I ever did. The student stopped attending classes but would submit to me essays, which when I checked the references were true, about how the money supply was getting inflated to an unsustainable level by banks being able to create money when people go into debt. I failed all the essays because they were not answering the briefs of the course and while I did it with relish at the beginning I slowly started to feel like perhaps I needed to sit down and talk to this young man.

I made a note on the last essay for him to come see me but he never came to collect it. In fact he committed suicide after starting a course of antidepressants. The next week after he had committed suicide I received a package from him of books about the money supply, with extensive notes. I was feeling very depressed and was in dire straits, even though whoever I confided in told me the lad was just troubled. I didn’t say anything to anyone about how I was starting to believe what the lad had been saying.

I started contacting the people that had written the books and asked about why this information was underground. I got multiple replies and they all said that because it wasn’t illegal it wasn’t an issue for people and the richest 10% benefit.

After a while I got distracted as I didn’t want to loose my job over this as we were just reaching a point where we would have paid off our house and my wife at the time told me I was loosing my mind.

Then there was the financial crisis in 2008 and they started pumping money into the banks ‘to save them’ and I knew I couldn’t keep quiet anymore.

My wife left me but by then we had become strangers anyway. So I wrote the book and in it I explore how quantitative easing is just rewarding banks for gambling. The really frustrating thing is even MP’s I talk to don’t know how banks create money when they create loans. So now I get people looking at me like I did to that lad 20 years ago but I keep talking in his memory.’

Bob stopped talking and Robert turned off the camera as Bob looked like he needed to lie down. They found him a blanket and a glass of water and then he smiled, brightening after the water, handed back the blanket and said ‘Let us continue.’

So they did and Roo asked many questions, including what happened when the Bretton Woods agreement ran out and how the banks weren’t needing to keep deposits anymore. Then they started talking about how money was increasing inequality and why it was so difficult to buy a house. The conversation wound gently down and then it was time for the picnic.

The rest of the week was much less dry, though everyone had their statistics which they would needle into conversations on camera. Bob had agreed to set up an organisation with Anbessa with Anbessa[RvS54]  admitting that he needed a break from sewing - all the clothes he had promised being done.

Luke was being very scarce. Whenever Roo tried to find him or corner him he made quick advances to leave. It made Roo feel low and after the weekend was struggling to get out of bed.

Dee was busy with everyone else but when Shane asked her what might be going on with Roo, Dee suggested he asked. So that afternoon he went back up to the house to find Roo sobbing in the kitchen with Dee. Shane sat down and looked seriously at Roo and asked what was going on.

‘It’s Luke. He just won’t talk to me. I know he is busy but it’s like since seeing the video he doesn’t like me anymore.’

Shane took her in his arms and Dee prepared some tea. Dee mouthed to Shane over Roo’s head ‘Find him’ and Shane nodded, knowing Luke had to be somewhere.

He left Roo in Dee’s capable hands and went to find Luke. He asked the others who were busy learning how to play djembe drums with a visiting expert and they all said no and then Beltrano suggested that Luke may be on the other side of the shed where there was internet.

Shane started running there and then speed walking when his body started moaning. Must do some cardio, he thought to himself. He got to the shed panting and then felt an uneasy feeling. He went round the back tentatively and found Luke hunched over his laptop with earphones in. Luke looked up and straight away closed his laptop. He started standing up and packing away his laptop and saying he needed to go. Shane walked up to Luke in his sweaty state and firmly put his hand on his shoulder and then started talking about Roo while holding onto Luke, who deflated as he spoke.

Luke sat down and looked like he was going to cry so Shane sat down too. ‘I have been haunted by the videos and there are more now. I should have predicted this would happen and told Roo. I have let her down so much. And she has you now and Dee says she’s not supposed to sleep with anyone else for a few months which means I don’t know how to make it up to you. I feel like I have betrayed her.’ And a tear rolled down from Luke’s left eye before he buried his face in his hand.

Shane waited for a while and then said, ‘You need to talk to her.’ Luke looked up and nodded and then stood up and followed Shane when he said ‘come’.

They got to the house and Roo was sitting outside staring listlessly into the middle distance. She looked up and her eyes and face went through myriad emotions before looking away and down at the ground. Luke looked at Shane who nodded and then went inside, leaving Luke to go to Roo and Luke took her hand.

‘I am so sorry I have been avoiding you. It’s no excuse but I have been feeling terrible about not predicting this or being able to protect you.’

Roo looked up and then gave Luke a big hug and said, ‘Don’t let that bother you please. Let’s just talk and walk,’ and so they did.

As they came back to the house Roo asked him if she could spend the night with him. Luke shook his head. ‘Love, Dee told us she thinks you need to be just with Shane for a few months, until some time has passed. We all agreed that is the best thing too. It will help the rest of us get to know each other and focus on our projects.’

Roo sat down on a nearby rock and tried to calm herself down. Emotions were flying all over the place but she did the deep breathing again and then felt a wave of peace wash over her. She looked up at Luke and said, ‘I will miss you but if it means in the long term my life is less complicated I suppose it makes sense. I can focus on learning how to handle the chaos and the kids. We really are one big team aren’t we’. She said thoughtfully.

Luke nodded and helped her up and then they went to help chop vegetables in the kitchen. Robert rushed in about an hour later just as they were tidying up with a big grin on his face. ‘Mongolia has said we can get married there.’

Everyone who was helping in the kitchen looked at him and he brushed his hair from his face and got a goofy smile on his lips. ‘I mean Roo and the others!’

There was a lot of whooping and hugging and they went to find the rest of the gang, with Luther and Carl talking about organising to divorce, which had been the plan all along if things worked out.

Jatetsu found some bottles of mead and they all toasted to success and the future, taking turns at trying to make Roo blush on camera with about half of them succeeding magnificently. The kids eventually were put to bed but everyone else was too excited to sleep so they stayed up all night around the fire and watched the sunrise before people drifted off to sleep or start working on preparations, depending how energised they felt.

Luther sat watching the embers of the fire until the kids woke up and had their breakfast and smiled constantly for the next week, singing at every opportunity and generally being delighted and whenever people looked at him askance he would just say ‘We are so blessed!’ and even when the paparazzi arrived after having done some sleuthing he just beamed at them, after getting the kids away, and talked to them and joked with them until they left feeling bemused or mesmerized or both and with signed copies of Luther’s book called ‘Continent power or how Africa subsidises the rest of the planet’, which some of them were actually considering reading.

A few days later when they all decamped and travelled home Anbessa broke his near constant silence and started describing the wedding dress he had been working on for Roo. He seemed to be convinced that the best place to get married was on a steppe somewhere with the wind howling around making it seem like a home video.

Jatetsu agreed with the idea and by the time they got home had convinced the others in their car it was the right thing to do, and by the evening it was all set to get married at the next full moon on a steppe. Shane went to sleep that night in Roo’s room, which would be his bed for the next few months though the next morning they moved to Shane’s room as it was more out of the way and it had vinyls.

Shane woke the next morning to see Roo watching him, before disappearing to get coffee for both of them. Shane was relieved about the wedding but since the kids had arrived he had begun to feel more and more like it was just him carrying the tour as Carl was completely distracted.

After breakfast he asked Roo to come with to say goodbye to the artists and Robert tagged along with the camera. When they got to the studios they knocked and Jerome answered the door with a shy smile and then led them into the space which had been totally transformed since they had been away.

The white wall of the building had been painted a dark blue with one wall of burnt orange in the middle. The floor looked like sand and the curtains were a glowing green you could see through. It was strong [RvS55] but warm and the furniture and desks were a mix of old purple armchairs and sleek white desks. But what made the space were the beautiful sculptures dotted around and the paintings. Jerome led them through the now office to see the board room and then the private offices and as Shane started to actually thank him, dragged him away to show him one last thing. It was a baby recording studio, kitted out with equipment Shane knew would blow most engineers [RvS56] minds away.

Jerome then handed over the set of keys and said, ‘If you don’t mind, I would like to do your creative direction and run the creative portion of the tour. If that’s alright with you I’ll see you Mondays to Wednesdays.’ Shane just looked at him and the keys and then gave Jerome a big awkward hug. ‘It will be great to have you stick around my friend,’ he said with a grin. ‘Thank you so much!’

Shane went and sat in his office while Roo went to get the others and his laptop and spoke earnestly to the camera about the tour and the detail they needed people to do. When he was done Robert put the camera down and said, ‘ We’ll broadcast that before we announce about the wedding. I’ll go edit it now and sneak it in somewhere. I’ll also send you a copy to upload to the website. I still can’t believe we are staying. The experiment is already more interesting than I ever imagined.’

That afternoon Roo was sitting with Lily and Marvelous drawing. Marvelous was complaining about being back in the city. ‘What are you missing most,is it about the mountains?’

‘Well, we can’t go and play except in the garden and, and…’ He looked off into the sky and then locked eyes with Roo and said, ‘The stars. Last night I was looking at the sky through my window when I couldn’t sleep and there were no stars.’

Marvelous seemed so sad in his 6 year old body Roo knew she had to think of something to do but she didn’t know. She looked at Lily who at 5 was making kaleidoscope shapes out of paper.

So she decided to tell a story. ‘Once upon a time there was a family living by a big stream. It was a beautiful place to live, but one day there was a big flood. So the family had to leave their house as it was destroyed.

They moved to the city where everyone was busy and there was no stream to miss. But the children were talking and realised that the thing they missed most was the stars.’

Lily nodded, ‘The stars are different every day.’

‘Yes, they are Lily. So what do you think the children did?’

‘They cried,’ said Marvelous.

‘They ran away,’ said Lily, ‘but then their parents found them.’

‘And then?’ asked Roo, her heart swelling with painful love.

‘I know!’ said Marvelous, ‘They made stars like Lily except they made them to cover the windows.’

‘Yes they did, do you know I am trying to make?’

‘What M..M..Mom?’ said Lily shyly.

‘Yes, what Mom,’ said Marvelous beaming and full of excitement.

‘I am going to take these big bits of dark blue paper and cut stars out of them to put on windows so I know the starss are still there for me. Do you want to help me?’

‘Yes! Can we make some for us as well?’ Marvelous asked with Lily nodding.

‘Well I though we can practice but do you both want them?’ They both nodded and then Lily lifted one of her creations.

‘And these too for me,’ she said with her lisp.

‘Alright, let’s make them!’ And Marvelous came up and gave Roo a nervous but love filled hug and Roo hugged back with Lily running in to join.

Before dinner Roo was standing on a chair with blu tack, sticking their creations on the windows. She finished and got down being greeted by a delighted Marvelous and then got led by the hand by Lily to Lily’s room.

When Lily’s tapestry of shapes was finished there was a gold star left over cut in painstakingly creative detail.

‘And this one? It’s your favourite.’

Lily put her finger in her mouth and pointed at Roo. She took her finger out and then motioned to Roo to come down so she could whisper in her ear and said, ‘It’s for your room,’ and then laughed delightedly and hid behind the bed with Roo following her and saying ‘For me? Who is the most lovely person in this room?’ And Lily put up her hand with a grin and Roo sat next to her and started tickling her delighted daughter before being dragged to her room by both the children, Marvelous having appeared at the peals of laughter, where they all helped to decide where the start would go eventually realising the window really was the best place.

When they walked down to dinner, Lily asked quietly, ‘And our other brother and sister?’

‘We can make for them when they arrive to welcome them. How does that sound.’

‘Marvelous,’ said Marvelous throwing his arms in the air and dancing around with a naughty grin on his face and Lily threw her arms in the air too and said, ‘And then the wedding!’ and she clapped her hands and bounced on the spot.

That weekend they made a fire outside for the children and sang camp songs which Shane knew until the children were so tired they had to be carried to bed, with them both chiming ‘Goodnight moon! Goodnight stars!’

[1] prayer beads

[2] conch trumpet

[casspurrjoybell-26]

Too Old For This - Chapter 10 - Part 2

*Warning Adult Content*

"But you know what's not your type...?" Leroy asked, a little confused, he scooted deeper into the bed, folding one of his legs and leaning in a bit so he could see the facial expressions on Zachary's face more clearly in the dimly lit room.

Zachary shook his head.

"I know what I like in theory but I've never experienced any of it, so I'm actually not a hundred percent sure I would be into those kinds of people."

There was silence in the room for a bit, except for the buzzing humidifier on the bedside table.

Zachary broke the silence first, popping his lips.

Leroy blinked, folding his other leg too.

"You haven't dated."

"I thought that was obvious," Zachary said, chuckling a bit.

Leroy rubbed the back of his neck.

"I mean..."

"I have chronic pain. I don't really get out or do much. I've been out of public school since I can remember, realistically where am I supposed to find someone? I mean there are dating apps but logistically I can't stand up for very long. So, how would that go down?" Zachary asked and Leroy just sort of sat there... stunned.

Well, that wasn't an image Leroy had anticipated having in his head but now that Zachary said it, it was just going to chill in his brain, he guessed.

"I... I don't know, I didn't really think about it," Leroy said.

"I never thought of you..." he trailed, realizing what he was about to say would sound weird.

"You never thought of me having sex?" Zachary asked, finishing Leroy's sentence.

"I mean, that makes sense. Disabled people get infantilized a lot 'treating them as if that person were a child, with the result that they start behaving like one' so I guess it's not far-fetched that you couldn't even imagine it."

Leroy wanted to protest... make excuses but the crux of the matter was that Zachary was correct... at least partially.

Part of the shock of finding out Zachary was gay was hinged on that.

He couldn't really imagine Zachary as 'anything'.

He just hadn't thought of him as being sexual until literally a few hours ago.

"Well, yeah, I've never dated, had sex or even kissed someone, so..." Zachary trailed off.

"I guess I can't say what my type actually is."

"But if you were to describe it..." Leroy said, still wanting Zachary to answer the initial question.

Zachary seemed perplexed by the attention but seemed to consider it as he cocked his head to the side and sighed.

"I guess I like people who are cute?" he said as if it was a question.

"A bit slender, yet fit, maybe, more aloof?"

Great, what Zachary was describing still wasn't giving Leroy much of a picture.

It was frustrating and annoying.

"What about you?" Leroy blinked, realizing what Zachary was asking him.

"What do you like?"

The younger man felt his breathing become shallow as he wondered how he should answer the question.

He did have an answer or at least he used to.

He liked short, curvy women with light hair and eyes... the complete antithesis of Zachary, who was taller, darker-skinned and lean.

If he told Zachary his type, then the older man would self-eliminate and he would never have a chance.

'Why the hell do I want a chance?' Leroy asked himself in his head, not enjoying his newfound hyper fixation on where Zachary wanted to put his dick.

"I like when... when a person lets me help them," Leroy mumbled.

"I... I guess I like feeling useful. It's not something I feel a lot, I guess," Leroy said, making Zachary nod.

Leroy felt the urge to talk about that feeling more.

He did like that truly, even if that was the only non-physical thing, he could think of saying at the moment.

Being short and skinny, he never felt strong or useful.

He also wasn't very smart, so trying to date women that let him dote on them or who were kind enough to pretend they wouldn't carry their own groceries, helped his self-esteem.

He didn't expand on that, though and just let Zachary soak in what he said.

"I see," the older man mumbled, before reaching out to start the movie again and just like that, the conversation was abandoned even though it lingered and clawed at Leroy's mind.

[aztrareia]

[Working title: a-z || cendent]

Hello! It’s me, i’ve been asleep for—maybe not the most of my day. I’m still fortunate that I’m able to sneak in some wip updates, and quite a bit on linearts, edits. One thing is for sure, my cold is sorta worse now. More sneezing, my throat feels dry (pls I’m almost about to finish the throat lozenges), and just now, a runny nose.

So, what’s happened with this so far?

Clothing details—better ruffle details, a bit of change to some of the details, yadda yadda please refer to the attached photo (above). The left leg, I am very tempted to add fishnet stocking details. But I tried a little bit and it looks a bit cheap? So I might leave it as a sheer white color layer, or just skin. I’d agree it’s a strange stocking design but I’m happy with it. Sort of. I’m working as fast as I can but in moderation since I’m also trying to stay not too sick.

Elongated nails of death—I wear the shortest nails irl (longer ones interrupt with concentration) and some details of this chara (long nails, the funky eyebrows) are vestiges of the past chara designs. I also think it gives her a sort of menacing vibe?? Pretty but don’t mess with me sort of mysterious lady. But very much a softie. I just—like to dress her up okay? The dangly bits are inspired from the MV for [Honey], by Solar. Any sort of dangly bits on nails look cute imo, function-wise I think it’s a nightmare.

The overlap of nails + veil + hair is going to mess with me in the coloring stages, especially that veil. I’ve temporarily put color overlays on them so I don’t get too confused when I start cleaning layers before coloring.

I also need to start putting down the details on the—torso, what do you call this? I’ve also began to think the logistics of how the thing should stay up if the sleeves are that low—I might add a few supports. As sexy as she looks right now it would be quite unfortunate if we run into wardrobe malfunctions. I also think of dumb shit like this when I draw.

The arms are sort of inspired by those Henna details on hands, but these are definitely made of silver or gold material—I like that kind of simple design with jewelry. Just long strands of metal, we all good.

There’s also an abundance of teardrop gem pieces. But I am not about to go into a meta discussion about tears becoming blah blah blah blah blah—

Imagine coming here for an art breakdown just to walk into a sob story. Which it is not, by the way, I just don’t have the strength to go into that detail right now. I’ve turned this part into a bulleted format because neither you, nor I am very fond of big blocks of text.

[In other rambling news]

I’m still quite disappointed with a new book I’ve gotten recently. It was supposed to help me figure out my coloring dilemma but all I got was a bunch of instructions that showed really okay photos. But you don’t really get much out of, “add shading,” without showing you where or how—I’m stupid. I really don’t understand how or like putting shadows on my art. I’m not a fan of the gloomy look it sometimes gives. Even if I use something like a brighter color—it just reminds me of how I shade my other art style [see: “Wounded” series a few posts below, makes the shit look cute, but for this art styles I don’t really want it to look cute…]

I’ve since tried to reach out to people if they are interested in taking it off of my hands. I don’t see it as a waste—the book really just wasn’t for what I needed it for.

[writersblockedx]

Something About Risk

Pairing - Pattinson!Bruce Wayne x Reader Summary - Y/n is recruited to handle the logistics of the Batman persona, ignoring the danger that comes with it. When she is deemed missing by Gotham police, Bruce doesn't stop until he finds her. Warnings - Violence, Blood, Angst Words - 2.7K

A/n - For anyone wanting the part two to The Problem with Duality, I plan for it to be posted by the end of this week :)

MASTERLIST

In the last 24 hours Bruce had found himself in the Batman suit for most of them. Though, he wasn't running after a common criminal, nor was he chasing leads. No, he was about patrolling the streets looking for Y/n. He must have been down every street at least twice by now. He scanned them, scanned the people he spotted. Every now and again asking if people they had seen his assistant.

Yet here he was, pulling up to the police station with empty hands. Law enforcement currently had their hands pretty full as it was. An active serial killer roaming the streets did that. But that was what scared Bruce so much. If she wasn't here, if she wasn't answering any of his messages or calls, then where was she? He fell down a certain rabbit hole thinking that maybe Y/n had become the newest victim of this gruesome series of killings.

Bruce walked into the station, every single cop and detective lined together, gathered for a briefing that had yet to begin. "Just in time, Batman." Gordon spoke. The man was standing by the door, towards the back of the group when Bruce walked in. "You probably want to listen to this."

And so, without any comments he did. The Sheriff stood at the front of this large group, a presentation situated behind him that was sure to follow the speech he was about to give. "I'm sure you're all aware of the current ongoing investigation into our most recent serial murderer." He went on, Bruce listening to where this was going and why Gordon believed he needed to listen. "We have a more general update for everyone here today." Then the man turned to his prestation. A click at his remote and suddenly Y/n wasn't just starring back at Bruce, but everyone stood in that room. "Y/n Y/l/n has officially been deemed as missing and we have reason to believe she's the next target."

Bruce stood still. Absolutely still.

The fact that the police hadn't bothered to inform Bruce of this until it became a general update floated irritation around his head. But it was overruled by the utter worry. The images of Y/n's scream and her blood filtered through his mind instead. And for a second, that's all he could see.

Then he just saw her.

It had been a strange situation in how the two came to be. But it can be whittled down to the simplicity of knowing the right people. Well, depending on what you consider to be 'right'.

Alfred was aware he needed someone else now that Bruce had taken on his Batman persona. Someone who could deal with that side of things while he dealt with the Wayne's business. It just so happened that Y/n's family were friends with the Pennyworths. Trusted friends at that. Something the Waynes didn't have many of. So, with that in mind, he offered Y/n a job. Said as long as she gave all the right answers during their rather unprofessional meeting, then it was hers.

"Smoke?"

That was the first thing he had asked as the two were wondering down the hall of the manor.

"Not really."

"Drink?"

"Only on weekends."

"What about drugs?"

"When they're prescribed."

Alfred then slowed at the ending of the corridor, a closed door facing the both of them. "The reason I reached out to you with this job is because I trust you, and your family." He started, adding to the confusion Y/n already held surrounding this job. "I can't tell you whether Bruce will think the same."

"I thought this was just admin work." The girl had replied with her wide, innocent eyes. She understood the Waynes had always been powerful people, but this all seemed a little extensive for the job she had applied for. Not that she really had applied per say.

The older man sighed; there was much he had yet to explain. "There are risks which come with working here. Not just for a Wayne, but-" Alfred stopped himself. This was something he wasn't quite sure whether he should touched on or not. And if Bruce decided she didn't fit the role, though Alfred doubted he cared, then she would know the face behind the mask. "But for something more." He finally settled on before he starred at the wood of the door.

"What are you talking about?" Y/n had urged but Alfred didn't look back at her.

"You'll see." Was all he said before pushing the door open.

The room was on the second floor of the manor, looking out on the back garden. It was a sort of lounge area. Something Y/n guessed they had a lot of to fill out the obscure amount of rooms. Lazily seated at one of the sofas ,which faced the large window, was Bruce. He slouched in a pair of joggers, a black t-shirt and, most confusing to Y/n, a pair of sunglass. He was in the midst of scanning over a few files that the girl couldn't see from here.

"Bruce, this is Y/n, the girl I told you about."

She suddenly felt stiff when Bruce hadn't even glanced at her. The most he did was give a hum out in response. "I'm here for the admin job." She told him, pushing out a sweet smile.

The boy shuffled before finally looking up at her through the shade of his sunglasses. "Yeah, Alfred said you'd be coming." He then looked at the man, flicking the glasses to rest on top of his head. That was when Y/n finally spotted the black smudges around his eyes. Another thing which only added to her puzzlement. "Not that I think it's needed."

Y/n looked between the stare that Alfred and Bruce were currently caught in. A part of her wished she had never taken Alfred up on this offer now. "I feel like I'm missing something." She pushed into conversation.

Bruce had scoffed. And if reading his mind, Alfred replied, "I thought you should be the one to tell her."

"Tell me what?"

The boy looked to her with nothing but a blank expression. "This admin job isn't for the Wayne empire; Alfred manages all of that." He paused, a moment of hesitation rising before falling. "It's for the Batman."

After the general meeting finished at the station, everyone disbanded to their appropriate jobs. For Bruce, that meant storming after Gordon into his office. "What are they doing?"

Gordon didn't need to ask to know he was referring to Y/n. "The Sheriff is running half the force on the theory she is the next target. The other half, still with the belief she's simply missing." Bruce hated the word simply. As if anything about this was simple. "There's about ten men at her apartment right now, seeing if they can find anything related to her disappearance."

Bruce shook his head, "They won't find anything there." He told him. "She's been living at the Wayne manor ever since she took that job." So for the last year now. As far as Bruce was aware, Y/n only returned to her apartment every now and again.

"I'll let the chief know." And with that, Gordon wondered out of his office.

Bruce hadn't been far behind. He needed to let Alfred know that cops would be banging down the door any minute down. So, the boy slipped out from his suit and hid anything that might relate to his Batman persona and then making it to Y/n's room before the cops could mess it up.

Her room stuck out compared to the rest of the manor. It didn't contain ancient furniture, nor did it feel dark and gloomy. Her and Bruce had painted it in light colours a few months after she moved. She brought several blankets and pillows until it felt like home to her. If Bruce were honest, it was the most quaint and cosy rooms in the whole house. And probably the room Bruce felt safest in. So to think in a moments time cops would be tearing it apart, it was like they were ripping away his security.

But whatever it meant to find her he supposed.

When Y/n first started working, she couldn't say her and Bruce really got along. I mean, he hadn't given the nicest of introductions. Especially considering this was a girl he was going to be seeing a lot more of now.

She had her own little area in the basement where Bruce did most of his work. He didn't think it was a good idea, Alfred did. Thus, meaning not only did they have to live and work together, but their desks had to be only meters from one another. "The chief of policing wants a meeting with you," The girl had started one Thursday morning as she wondered into the basement, serval papers and files tucked under her arms. "I tried asking him what this meeting was about, he wouldn't tell me. My guess is it's concerning that gang you beat up a little too much the other week."

It was too early for this. Too early to discuss meetings and politics. These were the things Bruce hated about his persona, the things Y/n was meant to be dealing with. "I'm not going." He huffed as he continued going back through some footage of a recent crime scene.

Y/n stood at her desk, watching the boy. "Bruce you need to have a good relationship with the police. That's the only reason they allow you to show up to crime scenes." She argued.

"No, Gordon's the reason they let me do that."

"What about the reason they're letting a vigilante rule the streets? That's not just Gordon. That's also the chief." She went on like she was a parent scolding a child. "If you don't keep your relationships balanced, you loose privileges. And just being the Batman right now, is a privilege. You loose that, I loose a job."

Bruce stopped what he was doing finally. He had started hating this. For some reason, Y/n had become one of the only people able to sway his opinion. "Fine, but you're going as well." He bargained.

"You mean, you'll make an appearance,  I'll do all the talking?"

Bruce flashed a cheeky grin back at her, "Almost like you read my mind."

Bruce had been watching for the last hour now as cops tore Y/n's room apart. It was like he was watching as they pulled apart his memorises. The bed where Bruce had sat on multiple occasions while Y/n patched up his wounds, of which he had assured didn't need to be cleaned. Or the book shelf filled with the pages Bruce noted the girl always read. And now all that was left of her room seemed shredded right in front of him.

If it weren't for the ringing of his mobile, Bruce probably would have continued standing in self pity. Alas, Gordon's contact starred back at him from the screen. "We've just got a lead."

At that, Brue shuffled away towards somewhere more private where his conversation wouldn't be overheard. "Go on." The man urged.

"We got sent a video from a security camera at the Iceberg Lounge. It's shows Y/n leaving the venue, well more like she was getting dragged out. We can't identity by who - they knew that camera was on, hid their faces." Gordon paused for a moment. "She was forced into the car. Her face was bloody from what we can tell. We're getting witnesses and more camera evidence to tell us where she was taken that night. We're sending some guys to the lounge now."

Bruce listened as much as he was able, but the vision of Y/n littered in blood and bruised, being pushed around like a rag doll swarmed his mind. "I think I've found something!" Yelled a voice from Y/n's room, alerting Bruce.

"I've got to go." The boy told Gordon before abruptly ending the call and rushing back into the room.

A cop stood, a letter and it's attached envelope slipped between his fingers. It was addressed to Y/n. Once again, Bruce found himself stood still, completely and utterly still.

He was quick to snatch the letter for himself. All at the objection of the cops.

'Miss Y//l/n,

Mr Walker would like to meet you at the Iceberg lounge to discuss recent concerns mentioned prior.

10pm, Friday.

Sincerely, Walker Storage & Warehouse.'

Bruce read it over and over until he decided on his next move. He needed to search these warehouses owned by the Walkers. That had been the conclusion he came to.

Bruce always knew Y/n worked too much. Part of that was his own fault. He lost himself in the Batman world so much he never bothered to sort out the logistics of it all. Which left Y/n with a lot of work. So it came as no  surprised when Bruce would return home after a night of patrolling and find the girl already tucked up in bed.

This night, however, she hadn't even had the energy to move from the sofa. Bruce wondered into the living room, black still smudged beneath his eyes. Laid there was a sleeping Y/n, many files and letters sitting on her chest. Bruce took a moment to take her in. A wave of guilt passing in a reminder that he knew he gave her too much work. But that was quickly pushed aside for what the boy believed to be warmth. Because that was what she gave him.

Bruce wondered to the sofa, brushing his finger gently against her cheek as to bring her out of sleep. That did nothing. She was well and truly taken with her dreams. A smile tugged at the boy's lips before he scooped his hands under her, picking her up in one swoop and taking her towards her room. He tucked her into her bed and pressed a soft kiss to her forehead, thinking nothing of it.

The boy then lingered. Just for a moment. Just to feel that warmth she somehow emitted. And within that moment, the girl fluttered in and out of sleep, muttering words Bruce couldn't quite make out. Well, that was apart from when she told him, "Stay." He wasn't sure he was hearing her right. Or maybe he wasn't sure whether Y/n knew it was him. So he pushed it aside and went to leave.

Not before a hand could reach out for his at least. "Stay." She muttered once more. And so, Bruce found himself slipping into the bed as well. It hadn't taken another moment before the girl was shuffling into his side, soon comforted by her dreams again. And Bruce finding himself comforted by her warmth.

There were many Walker Warehouses around Gotham. There was no way for Bruce to tell which one was the right one. But he took a guess and made his way to the biggest one he was aware about. He could never be sure this was where they were keeping Y/n, but it was good guess. So he rushed his way into the building.

"Y/n!" He yelled, weaving his way through the different rooms and the boxes that occupied all the space. "Y/n!" He shouted once more. "Y/n!"

No matter how manner times Bruce could yell her name, silence would always reply. It almost felt as if he was getting tormented. Until he walked into an empty room.

It was huge. Bigger than most the rooms back at the manor.

Situated right in the middle was Y/n. Her body tied to a metal chair, her face still bloody like Gordon described. Now a mix of both dried and fresh blood scarring her expression. She was swaying in and out of consciousness, suggesting why she hadn't yelled back out to Bruce when he called.

The boy rushed until he was right in front of her, dropping to his knees. "Y/n," He called, this time as low as a whisper. His hands cupped her cheeks, holding her head up for her as he starred.

"Bruce?" It was almost like a question, like she wasn't sure that was who was in front of her.

So the boy slipped his mask off, letting it drop to the ground. "It's me." He assured the girl. "You're safe now." And that was all that mattered.

[madametrashbin]

Wishful Dreaming

In which I pretend Part 3 of Inazuma’s story doesn’t exist and everyone is alive before shit goes down. Yes, people who read this, it’s time for best friend headcanons/drabbles/whatever the hell this is with Teppei. Honestly, it’s just no thoughts head empty right now and I might have gone off tangent a lot.

(And by a lot, I mean the majority of this piece, probably... by the way, credits to @streimiv and @myuni-moon for making my brain be hyper focused on Self Aware Cult Genshin... I can’t get it out of my head as of right now.)

Enjoy, even if it’s never going to be beta-read by anyone and I will never go back to edit this even if I find mistakes in this later on... and I also don’t know where my brain went for this, but what’s done is done. 

I’m not even sure if I did his personality correctly, ahaha...  (；^ω^)

(I’m going to project my denial in this, so please know it might be wince inducing and incredibly self-indulgent.)

The sun is bright at this time of day, the gentle breeze flowing through the tranquil lands of Inazuma, leaving those who are experiencing the nice morning in a blissful escape from its current reality. 

...much like a young foreigner who had left their current abode, leaving behind a note for their caretakers to see as they wander around the land of Eternity for some true fresh air and peace of mind away from the group that had more or less made their life a little too suffocating as of late.

It is also incredibly lonely in there, as they come to understand that no one (for the most part) look at them like they were a regular human... like they were them.

So they now wander, taking in the rarity of solitude that does not come as easily as one might think. Inazuma is beautiful, even if they know that the peace they see around these parts are but a veil that shields the horrible reality going on around them.

(They know what was happening outside the city, outside the teapot they were living in since they were brought here. They’ve experienced it happening before, many times in fact. They know what will happen, and they’re determined to change it. They just need to find a certain someone, and then they’re set.)

Meeting Teppei was something you didn’t really expect all that much, considering you knew he should be still a part of the logistic division of the Resistance Army and would be busy in their current base that was all the way to Yashiori Island.

Yet by sheer luck, or by fate, you meet the good fellow on Narukami Island and had managed to make a pretty good friendship with him over the course of coincidental meetings.

You’ve come to learn a few things about the young man, and it was that he was a pretty trusting guy, didn’t even think twice of being friends with you... which was a little worrisome, considering what happened in the actual storyline.

That’s okay though, you’ll make nothing happens to him... he is one of your only true friends in this world, after all.

“Teppei.”

They call to him as the Resistance Samurai turned his head away from the sight of the Tenshukaku to them.

“Is there anything you wish for? I mean, if you could have one wish granted, anything you want, what would it be?”

The young man looked rather confused at them, before they briefly clarified that they were just curious. As much as they enjoy the peacefulness of silence, they wanted to know what he really wanted... wondering if he really wanted a Vision, for the acknowledgement of the Gods.

“What would I wish for...”

The young man was quiet for a while, no doubt mulling it over before smiling when he comes to an answer, his head lifting to look at the glimmering stars.

“I would wish for the war to end... for the Sakoku Decree and Vision Hunt Decree to be abolished so people won’t have to suffer anymore.”

“Really? Not a Vision, or something like that?”

“Well, having a Vision would be nice, but thinking about it... I think it’s better if everyone is happy. A lot of people are suffering, and even if I did get a Vision, it’s still pretty difficult to win the war against the Shogunate.”

They could only hum quietly in understanding after that, not really certain what else to ask him before he gives them the same question. 

What do they wish for?

To go home. They would have said, but they chose not to because they knew there was probably little chance for them to be allowed to go home... Their “acolytes” are rather over-protective and notably possessive towards them, probably rampaging around Inazuma right now in search of them.

Well, they at least know what they’re going to do once they inevitably find them.

“Isn’t it time you should head back to your camp, Teppei?”

“Huh? Oh, right! It’s getting late! Then, if I have time, I’ll see you again!”

And he’s off in a rush, disappearing when he turned around the rocky walls and out of their sight. At the same time as he left, the bushes behind them rustle, and a frantic Zhongli appears with Venti following behind... both relaxed significantly once they saw them in perfect condition.

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you, Your Grace. It’s dangerous for you to go outside on your own like that.”

“Please don’t worry us like that again.”

They immediately take to their sides, quickly ushering them to head back to the Teapot before they stopped them in their tracks. 

“Your Grace?”

“I need to do something. Will the both of you accompany me for this?”

...and by the following morning, an official announcement is made to all of Inazuma with the abolishment of both the Sakoku Decree and Vision Hunt Decree. 

Teppei is rushing over to them with a beaming smile on his face when they meet again that noon, the young man happily shares the good news with them while they simply smiled and nodded along with what he said even if they knew the reason behind it.

They don’t tell him anything, nor mention that it was thanks to him that it ended... well, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him.

Extra, because why not:

It becomes a frequent part of your days now that the War in Inazuma was over. Hanging out with Teppei as often as you could, granted you’d have a few people trailing in the shadows at all times, watching over you so you don’t pull the same stunt again.

You have to spend a bit of time giving warning glares behind you whenever Teppei mentions the cold chills that makes his bones shiver despite the relatively warm weather. 

When the two of you get roped up into a bit of trouble (whether by lingering Fatui grunts, stray Ronins or local Treasure Hoarders seeking to rob you), Teppei would always jump in between you and them, saying he’ll protect you as he holds his spear (that he brings with him out of habit).

...you thinks it’s endearing with how he’s trying to be brave, as you can see his hands shake just a tad bit due to the numbers.

But as much as you want to let him have his moment, you prefer that your friend doesn’t get himself hurt and therefore skillfully lead him away from the danger while the rest (your cult) dealt with them.

When you feel like the divine treatment is starting to get too overwhelming, and you’re feeling a little too lonely, you always make your way to Teppei who is there to provide comfort even if you never really talked about what’s troubling you.

Your friendship with Teppei is strong, even if you rarely talk about yourself to him and how he’s told you practically everything about himself.

There’s just something about that trust that bring you a lot of comfort... it gave a different feeling compared to Zhongli or Fischl’s kind of trust... it was warmer, and felt more like home.

You’re also very adamant in keeping him away from the whole cult business, not wanting him to think of you like how the others did... you don’t want to lose that friendship that practically kept you sane in this world.

The amount of times you have to keep reminding your cult to leave him be is absurd, and as much as they protest about him, the fact you’re upset at them for that is enough to get them to stop.

...for a while, at least. They go at it again for a while when Teppei does something they don’t like until you actually snapped at them. They stopped bothering him after that.

If Teppei does eventually find out about the cult, which will most likely happen because of Kokomi, you would be genuinely terrified in the beginning of it until he gives you proper reassurance that it doesn’t change anything.

Now he’s allowed to see you in the Teapot, often visiting with curious snacks he finds and occasionally sleeping over when you are feeling particularly lonely.

Overall, a very pleasant friendship to have. Being one of the few you can really be open with and not be concerned about how you’re viewed as.

Wholesome boy will always have your back whenever you need him... even if he is a little intimidated by the Raiden Shogun and the other intimidating acolytes that are a part of your cult.