#heres to hoping itll reach the people that experienced the pipeline

[garf-lover96]

Astarion Ancunín x Julian Devorak crackship hcs

ah i see your endless comparisons between them, so i know this is not a post for too niche of an audience..... i just had this thought about them actually being together and my brain started working too fast so i just had to write it all down

disclaimers: for simplicity reasons, let's assume they meet on some ambiguous middle ground between their worlds; these are headcanons for spawn!Astarion (after killing Cazador) and upright!Julian (minus the mc i suppose) because i wanted to make them healthy and fluffy

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a little exposition:

• they meet in a tavern (obviously!). Julian falls first and buys Astarion a drink, Astarion falls harder later on

• it takes Julian quite a bit of courting to get Astarion to agree to go on a date with him, but when he agrees, he's rewarded with the most romantic (and brilliantly planned) night of his life

• Astarion really appreciates Julian's patience and understanding when he finally opens up about his past. they exchange some stories of the hard moments in their lives

• somewhere in the middle of those comes up the fact that Astarion is a vampire which gets a "well, obviously...?" reaction from Julian. Astarion is a little embarrassed about that

• eventually, they agree to be in a relationship! they warm up to each other at a incredibly fast rate and start living together after more than a few exciting adventures together (but it doesn't mean they plan to stop going on them any time soon)

living together/relationship dynamics sillies:

• getting right into it, Julian obviously enjoys getting bitten and is more than happy to let Astarion feed on him. he asks Astarion to do it whether he's hungry or not. are you sure you don't need a snack?? absolutely sure????

• Astarion learns how to make a few simple meals for Julian. he notices when Julian forgets to eat for a longer while and wants to make sure he doesn't collapse out of starvation. he says that he's doing it only so his blood tastes better, but Julian knows he's just worried about him..

• Julian's sleep schedule is messed up as is so he definitely doesn't mind having to become nocturnal for his partner. hell, he can even stay awake for the whole 24 hours! maybe even 48 hours, occasionally. which always results in a crash and he ends up sleeping through at least 12 hours straight to make up for it

• when that happens—and Astarion has nothing better to do—he tends to just orbit around him the whole time he's asleep. he usually picks out a book and lays down close to Julian's chest so he can listen to his heartbeat while enjoying some literature

• Astarion was a little sceptical of Malak when they started living together but it turned out they actually get along quite nicely. Astarion praises him every time he steals something..

• Julian is very interested in the logistics of being a vampire, and now that he finally has the chance, he wants to know all there is to know about the topic. the lack of heartbeat, the heightened senses.. the teeth.. he gets a little giddy thinking about them. or seeing them of course

• they both get haunted by nightmares but since half of the time at least one of them is awake while the other is sleeping (or in that damn reverie when it comes to Astarion) because of their confusing sleeping patterns, they make sure to calm each other down from them. they breathe together, cuddle and mutter words of reassurance to each other

• their morbid interests go quite well together. of course, while Astarion's specific interest lies in stabbing people sometimes and Julian's lies in anatomy and the more theoretical stuff in general, Astarion actually enjoys it when Julian goes on one of his medical rants and explains in exhausting detail. for instance: why someone bleeds out faster when they get stabbed in the neck rather when they get stabbed in the stomach

• Julian is always acting as Astarion's mirror. he's there for every request and makes sure to compliment Astarion plenty whenever he gets the chance. he lives to serve and reassure. Astarion is immensely grateful for that

• they're both consent kings, they always make sure to discuss anything requiring it. they check up on each other even after agreeing to it anyway

• they absolutely love using pet names. they can barely go without using "darling", "dear" and "my love" every other sentence

• Julian teaches Astarion how to dance. it takes a little convincing, but when Astarion realizes that Julian is actually a pretty great teacher, he relaxes and lets himself be guided. now they make sure to make time for it at least once a week

• Astarion loves hearing Julian's silly stories from his travels and always asks sarcastic follow up questions. think the "oh, and were there dragons there?" kind

• even though there's a big height difference between them (5'9 and 6'4), they pick each other up all the time. Julian started it by picking Astarion up when he least expected it. but since Astarion is no longer limited by the tadpole, is eating well and Julian is skinny anyway, he's more than capable to get his revenge on him as often as possible

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broke: Astarion and Julian are pretty similar to each other!

woke: they're actually in love and married and they kiss each other on the lips mwah mwah mwah