#but when the chips are down and you think you're harming any of his family

[tinfoil-jones]

Jerk Ford AU: The Worst Timeline

Out of all the scenarios and alternate timelines / other AU's this one could cross over into or adopt elements from (You can see a Reverse Portal Scenario Here and Here), the worst and most destructive alternate timeline for Jerk Ford would be Drifting Stars.

If you don't know, Drifting Stars is a popular AU where during the events of Not What He Seems, Mabel goes through the portal instead of Ford coming out. And now Mabel and Ford are together in the multiverse.

Stanley never stopped being involved with family because he was never kicked out, so Mabel and Dipper have actually known their Grunkle Stan their whole lives, they've even visited him a fair few times and stayed over, the summer that the events of the show takes place in is just the first time they stayed for an entire summer.

Imagine if, about five years before the show starts, little 7-8 year old Mabel falls into the bottomless pit and somehow gets ejected to the only other thing out in the multiverse with the same dimensional signature as her; Jerk Ford, her great uncle who has been missing for twenty five years.

Jerk Ford sees this crying little kid and he takes pause because, for one thing what is a kid doing in Mystery Flesh Pit National Park in the Body Horror Dimension, and another thing why does she have an eerie resemblance to his nephew, who was only ten years old the last time that he saw him?

Jerk Ford at first was considering leaving her to the lost and found at the tourist outpost of the national park, but then she called him "Grunkle Stan." (Because she is mistaking him for Stanley, and Grunkle why did you cut your hair?) And it's all over.

Jerk Ford, a multidimensional space hobo vagabond who has been trying to get home for the past twenty five years at this point and has had absolutely no contact with his family for obvious reasons, he just goes YOINK THIS IS MINE NOW.

And why is this the worst timeline for the Jerk Ford AU?

You know that scene in the Lion King when Rafiki is holding up Simba to the valley? Well, imagine Jerk Ford doing the same thing with Mabel. Except she's like this:

Because Jerk Ford already has poor impulse control when it comes to pettiness without his brother to reign him in, and now he has Mabel who is a very similar brand of unhinged as he is, they're just subjecting the entire multiverse to a path of glittery destruction the likes have which have never been seen before and will hopefully never be repeated.

Jerk Ford was already wilding all on his own now he has Mabel who has so many ideas. And she has this pathetic, lonely man wrapped around her little finger.

Also, Jerk Ford is a known runner. He does not fight if he doesn't see himself winning, and he'll usually go out of his way to not kill people. He just lacks the trigger-happy 'shoot now journal about it later'-gene that most Fords have. (He has very specific exceptions)*

But in a scenario where he has Mabel? Where he isn't facing consequences all by himself? He isn't letting anything in the multiverse so much as breathe rudely in her direction. So now, he isn't just some jerk or mostly harmless nuisance, he is stacking bodies (not in Mabel's line of sight, obviously).

The (Jerk) Ford Hate Club is besides themselves. Now, stopping or killing Jerk Ford isn't their only prerogative, they also need to 'rescue' this small, innocent child from The Worst Ford and his influence. Unaware that the terrible-flavoured beanboozled jellybeans that keep making their way into their catering were all her idea.

When Jerk Ford and Mabel return in 2012, Dipper is besides himself because, sweet Moses his sister is alive! She's really alive!

But she's been with with The Author who he hates, and being raised by him for the past five years has had obvious effects on her development.

She's still happy go lucky and nice, she's not a jerk at all like her Grunkle Ford.

But she's basically a supervillain who is on the FBI's Most Wanted List in every dimension she's been to that has one, and some organizations both official and criminal consider her a bigger threat than Jerk Ford (relative to body size).

Her sunny disposition did not change at all; she's blowing up whole buildings with a damn smile on her face

It's terrifying. This is the worst Jerk Ford timeline.

*While he was in the multiverse, instead of celebrating Jewish holidays the traditional way there was no point without his family, he would travel to different parallel Earth dimensions to kill Nazi’s. He would try to be a little more traditional, and halt the killing spree while he had Mabel with him, she was too young for murder.

[bunny-jpeg]

mafia romantic

lando norris

tags: smut/pwp, mafia au,tattoos, enforcer!lando, sweet!lando, oral sex (reader receiving), dirty talk, hair pulling, (slight) submissive lando

mafia romances made you laugh. when people found out that your boyfriend of the last few years was working under zak brown. people got a bit of a shock and the assumptions raced in their minds. they imagined scary mobsters with their guns and drugs through the streets of monaco. some would even think that lando had hurt you.

and you'd simply smile over the rim of your drink at their questions. the lando norris hurting you? never. not in a million years! you often replied simply, "oh never. he's a huge suck up!" followed by another laugh.

lando loved having his hair played with, whenever he could get your hands in his curled hair, he loved it. you had known lando for years even before you started to see one another. despite his profession, you cared for him deeply. you loved him, the connection you shared went beyond just love. it was an undying, unwavering affection that could last forever.

lando norris was the enforcer for a loan shark named zak brown as part of the mclaren family network.

"who's my good lando?" you giggles and he laughed. you were in bed together after came home from work. he was snuggled in your arms.

"you make me sound like a dog, love." he chuckled as he held onto you.

you replied with humor, "well, you're snuggled against me and want to be petted like a prize-winning puppy. is it bad to want to give you that praise for deserve for being such a good boy?" you tried not to discuss work too much, you knew that profession wasn't ideal for lando. but it was where the chips fell and you both had to make the best of it.

you continued to play with his hair as he held on to you. he moaned a little when you nails scratched across his scalp. he practically melted at your touch. "i want your." he said, "everyday i leave this apartment, i'm thinking about you. i wish i could be here all day and in your arms."

you chuckled and stroked his head, "what about my job?"

he sighed, "just quit it. you and i can live in a cardboard box." he turned in your grasp and placed his face between your breasts, "you, me and four walls of cardboard."

you replied, "as much as i would love that." you then kissed the top of his head, he held onto your sides for a moment and pushed your shirt up a little bit. he kissed your stomach, feeling the soft skin against his lips. he groaned and rubbed himself up against you. you laughed, "as much as i would love, i prefer to share a bed with the man i love."

"fuck, angel." he groaned.

"someone feeling good, huh?" you asked. he looked good in the white tank top and black adidas sweatpants. you could feel the hard-on in his pants as he rubbed against you.

"you just smell so good." he held onto you tightly as he rubbed up against you. he shuddered and felt a particular warm course through him.

you laughed a little as he kissed your chest once more. you squirmed a little against him, his lips tickled you. his fingers did dip into the waistband of your own sweatpants. you moaned a little bit and then lando got the sweatpants down your legs and off your body. he then had your legs over his shoulders. electricity coursed through him when he went for the so called 'kill' - and kissed your pussy.

he hissed through his teeth before he said, "mmm, baby girl."

you held onto his hair once more, this time a little tighter as he started to kick your sex. he tasted your slick pussy and it made you experience a rush of heated pleasure.

this was your mafia enforcer of a boyfriend. he was talented with a crowbar and a baseball bat. and while he bruised others, he could never lay a bruising hand on you. he couldn't leave any marks on you, even when you wanted a hickey. it would kill him to harm you, he couldn't break something so soft. when your softness was what drew him in.

"fuck, lando. jesus christ." you groaned when his tongue grazed across your clit. you moaned a little harder, "you feel amazing, honey. you know how to make me feel good."

he moaned against your pussy as he rubbed against the bed to get some relief. you moaned loudly and clutched onto his locks tighter, which only enthralled him more.

"you're so good, lando. fuck, i want you all the time. i miss you every time you leave for work." you whined against the bed as he continued to eat you out. you felt like a dream on lando's tongue, he gripped you tightly by the thighs and let you press them against his head. he let you add pressure around his skull, the muscles at his head turned him on, "you're such a scary mafia man, but you're so soft with me, rigth? you are so sweet towards me. you love me so much." you whined and rolled your hips against his nose and lips.

lando moans against your wet slit and gorged himself on your perfect cunt. you lit a fire in him. he thought of himself as a low0life and a bad man. that changed when you were around, you made him feel loved. and he wanted to show you how much he loved you.

"my lovely lando. my perfect man. fuck, i love you."

lando pulled his mouth away, his chin glistened with your wetness and he looked blissed out. this was the scary norris who broke knee caps and would smile even with blood in his teeth. the enforcer who left fear in most? now, he was lazily fingering you.

"such a strong boy, so perfect for me." you moaned as the pleasure continued to course through your body. you whimpered when his thumb rubbed against your clit. your noises got louder while he pleasure with his tongue and fingers. you grasped onto his hair tighter.

lando dragged his tongue across your clit. he was encouraged by your moans as you clutched onto him. his tattooed fingers plugged your cunt and pushed you closer to pleasure. he panted heavily against you. he was drunk off the feeling of you, the taste of you, everything about you. he licked his lips briefly before he dove back into eating your slick cunt. he moved further against the bed for some relief.

"lando." you moaned. you pushed your cunt furthe rinto his face as you felt the pleasure run deep. your heart raced as you felt yourself get pushed over the erotic edge.

lando felt painfully hard in his sweatpants as he brought you to climax. he shuddered before he pulled away from your cunt with a dazed look in his eyes, even more than before. his cheeks were flushed and all down his neck too.

you smiled down at him as he licked his lips and his fingers. you moaned a little from the sight. "fuck, honey." you pushed your hair back and out of your face. you fanned yourself from the heat. lando beamed up at you, a stupid grin across his features. he crawled on top of you and took you by the face. he eyed you for a moment.

you looked at one another, a thrum of pleasure between the two of you. lando continued to smile at you as he asked, "can you help me out, love? i want to feel you every way i can tonight." <3

[willowser]

part one here :)

your father accepts takami's proposal the spring after you turn 21.

keigo has enough sympathy to push the process back, after touya's death. despite not knowing what you were sharing in letters, the plans you were making, he has enough respect to give you the time to heal. he's a good man and you do feel lucky to have him, out of all the suitors your father was speaking to, and you think you could love him, with time.

further up north, into the mountains, he has a piece of land and a cabin, a bunch of horses, and one evening he tells you he can't wait to take you there. let you see what else is out in the world, the beauty that you're missing in your small town. you think you might like that; all you see in the street, in your dreams and dark doorways, is touya's ghost.

an outlaw gang begins to pick up speed out to the east. at first you hear very little of it, don't know all the details of their crimes, but the more inland they move, the bloodier their trail becomes. keigo gets pulled into the investigation as they ride across the country and he's gone frequently, which has been another reason for his delayed proposal, and on the nights that you can't sleep, he tells you not to worry. the league, as they've been nicknamed, is only killing off men in the army. soldiers, in their sleep or late at night as they trail home from taverns.

it doesn't settle any of your nerves. if anything, it makes you sicker. you can't help but to remember the things touya told you in his letters, how angry he was at what the men around him had become. the seed he planted flourishes in the wake of bloodshed; vengefully, you think these men deserved it, after all the harm they've done, what they took from you. on nights when the melancholia hits the hardest, you're relieved, even, at the justice—and that has your stomach souring every time takami smiles at you.

the day of the wedding comes suddenly, despite all the waiting you and keigo and your families have had to do. you're to marry in a small church, white and paint-chipped; a final resting place to your lost love. you say goodbye to touya then, as you take in the image of your own reflection, the woman grief has made you. the woman you'll have to be from then on.

keigo's a good man, deserving of a good wife, and he is here and warm and alive—and you want to give him a fair chance.

the organ plays outside your small dressing room, your signal to come out. your dad should be waiting on the other side of the door to walk you down to where keigo waits for you. one last time, you close your eyes and imagine someone else at the end of the aisle—a bright-eyed young man that that you've loved as long as you can remember—

and then you let him go.

but when you open the door, expecting to see the face of your father, you are met with the looming figure of a dark man; dark cowboy hat, dark jacket, dark bandana pulled up just under his eyes. the organ plays on, unaffected, and the man—the bandit—simply puts one finger to his lips, silencing you.

"c'mon now, girl," he rasps, creeping in closer and closer, a hand raised to grab you up. "don't wanna be late for the wedding, now do we?"

you ride for days with a sack over your head, hands and ankles chained.

just by the sound of their voices, you count at least four of them, one being the woman—girl, she sounds like—that helps you out to the shade when you need to relieve yourself. the names are used infrequently enough that you can't attach them to the visions you've painted in your mind, of what they must look like.

the only one you know for certain is dabi, and that's the name of the man you ride with.

he and another snappy young fellow help to haul you up onto the horse every morning, and the son-of-a-bitch pulls you flush against his chest, arms around your waist as he takes the reins. you hear his smile, how it poisons his voice when he presses into the burlap, asking, "comfortable, girl?"

you refuse to answer, refuse to speak if you don't have to. it's a good thing they keep the sack over your head, you think, because if you could see him, you'd spit.

it feels like an eternity that you're with them, but time passes differently when you're a prisoner, when you can only feel the heat of the sun and not its shine on your skin. you've no idea what they want with you or why they've taken you; you're given your own tent—that you can tell, trapped in the dark as you are. there is no breath echoing beside yours, no warmth to be found. only the low glow of a campfire, and the muffled voices murmuring around it.

everything changes when you give in. when you decide to speak.

you've already been pushed into your tent for the night, but you can hear the sound of vibrant laughter echoing outside against the night, and you think of your only hope: the girl.

"i need to go!" you call, heart thrumming as the voices die down. "i need to go, i said!"

the tent flap opens audibly and you flinch on instinct, fear bubbling in your veins. you'd been expecting the worst after first being taken, but you haven't been touched more than necessary—more than dabi deems necessary. rough as his hands have been, they haven't violated you. yet.

you're grabbed by the arm and lead out, marched down until the cold settles in and the fire is long behind you. and then you turn on her.

"please," you gasp, clutching her hands in your own. "let me go. i've got nothing for you, no purpose, but m-my husband would pay handsomely if—"

"husband?"

a chill run downs your spine at the sound of his voice, the anger lacing his words. when you try to pull away, his grip tightens, keeping you rooted as he inhales deeply, and then your feet are skidding in the dirt as he pulls you against him.

"no, no, no," he murmurs, low and raw. "ain't been no wedding yet. made sure of that."

the acknowledgment at what he's done—the pride—lights a fire under your ass. you think of keigo, standing in the church, alone. waiting as the organ played on. how long did it take for his heart to break? for them to realize you weren't coming? surely he would have sent someone after—right?

"you sure did," you seethe, angry tears building beneath your burlap. "you whoreson dog! lemme go!"

try as you might, squirming in his hold does nothing, not even when you get one hand loose and beat it against the expanse of his chest.

"get off!"

the bag is ripped off your head so quickly that it's disorienting, black spots dotting your vision as you try to blink the world into clarity. you cry out from the shock of it all, the light of the moon in your eyes, and then you're being spun around to face the vast, empty valley ahead of you. the canyons that swallow the landscape in the distance, the mountains that bar you from the only world you've ever known.

you're out in the middle of nowhere, far from civilization.

even if keigo has sent someone in search of you—who knows how soon they'll find you. if they will at all.

you try to turn your face from the disheartening sight, chest feeling hollow and pinched, but dabi grabs your chin in his hand and forces you to look.

"no, no," he repeats, "i asked for y'first and i ain't waiting another fuckin' minute."

a shrill scream rips through the night when he turns you around, hands going from your arms to cup your cheeks, digging into the sides of your neck. this is it, you think, what you've been dreading all along, the assault you knew would come from a son-of-a-bitch like him.

"look at me, girl," he growls, shaking you when your eyes squeeze shut in stubborn defiance. "i said, look at me, damn it!"

tears blur your vision, but you blink through them anyway, their searing heat. he nearly blends into the night, dark as he is, but his eyes are wide, blue, and his face is washed pale in the moonlight and—

and you gasp, hard enough that your heart wracks, that your knees buckle, but his hands never stray from your face, thumbs brushing softly over your cheekbones.

"touya?"

[dragon-kazansky]

Spirit of the sea

Izzy Hands x Reader (GN)

SEASON 2 CONTENT AHEAD!!!

Blackbeard rules the sea. Despite wanting his captain back, Izzy realises his mistake. Protecting the crew is his concern. Protecting you is his life mission. Stede's return brings hope, but there's a lot of work to be done before this crew becomes a family.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Warnings: Spoilers. Izzy's depression spiral. No real unicorns were harmed in the making of Izzy's new leg. Things get a little steamy at the end.

Chapter Thirteen - Loving touch

♡♡♡

Stede had gathered the crew, minus Izzy, to talk to them all. Turns out Ed woke up. You swore under your breath when you heard that. No way is that man going to be happy with any of you.

"What happened to your face?" Pete asked Stede who was standing to a bruise on his cheek.

"Bet Blackbeard did that, didn't he?" Wee John asks.

"It was an accident. Okay? I think Ed just sat up too quickly," Stede says.

"That's what they all say," Roach states.

"As you know, he's gone through quite the ordeal and he does need to regain his strength," Stede explains.

"Yeah. He'll probably get around to killing you after he's rested," Jim says, looking Stede in the eye.

"Yeah, I'd say it's a pretty obvious mistake letting him get strong again," Lucius points out. You nod.

"Kick him off the ship already!" Jim yells.

"We just don't banish people, do we?" Stede says. "That's not us. Let's give him some time, perhaps to rebound a bit."

"Medically speaking, the man can't speak, and his brain is maybe couscous." Roach points out. "Also, gonna need that steak back. It's dinner."

"Right. Yes, aye."

"Maybe we should put it to the vote," Fang suggests.

"Do we have to do this now?" Stede asks.

The crew start yelling.

♡♡♡

Stede got his answers from the crew, that much was clear enough. As you head out, Stede catches up to you.

"You were awfully quiet in there."

"Don't get me wrong. I agree with them, Ed has to go."

Stede's expression falls.

"I know you like him, but that man... he did things. He hurt people like I've never seen before. He hurt Izzy..."

"Ah yes, Izzy. How is he?" Stede asks.

"He's been better."

"Where is he anyway? I didn't see him in there."

"Drinking probably. He, uh, he's stopped talking to me at the moment. He won't talk to anyone."

Stede frowns again. "He's stopped talking to you?"

"I think it's the constant drinking... It's making him... upset. Like, more than before."

"I see..."

You shrug lightly and sigh. "Look, I'm not looking for sympathy. You're the captain, sort this out."

You walk off. Stede watches you go, his heart feeling heavy. Maybe he could have a word with Izzy for you.

♡♡♡

You sit on deck with the wooden sparrow in your hands. After everything that happened it had survived. Izzy had kept it in his cabin. You had found it when you had gone in there to find him. Izzy was nowhere to be seen, but the sparrow was sitting on his desk. There was a slight chip in the wood, right on the wing, but for the most part it looked good.

You sigh as you run your finger carefully over it's little head. Did Izzy even notice it was gone? Probably not.

"The atmosphere around here sucks," Lucius sighs, sitting down next to you. You notice the cigarette between his fingers, but you don't ask. "What's that?" He nods toward the wooden bird.

"Marietta."

"Marietta?" He looks at you with a funny expression.

"That's what I called it. It was a gift for Izzy from me. I dropped the first one in the sea while I was angry at him... so I remade her." You hold the sparrow up. "She's a little beaten, but still in nest condition."

"You carved him a bird?"

"Look, I can't draw like you can. I can't make sew like Frenchie, or knit like Wee John. I can, however, whittle."

Lucius smiles a little. "I like it."

A moment of silence passes while you play with the bird in your hands a little more.

"So, you and Izzy?"

"So, you and Pete?" You reply, sarcastically.

"We're fine," he says defensively. "What's going on with your boyfriend?"

You raise your eyes to Lucius. "Blackbeard abused him. Punished him. Took his leg. He's a little upset at the moment. Rightfully so."

Lucius stands up a little defensively. "We've all been through shit," he says.

You narrow your eyes at him. "I'm not saying you haven't. We thought you were dead!"

"Well, I wasn't." He puts out his cigarette. "I've suffered too and it's all his fault!" He points to where Blackbeard is tied up on the deck.

"He's fucked everyone over, Lucius. Just need Stede to get his ass in gear and do something about it."

Lucius sighs. "Do you think anything will ever go back to how it was?"

"No," you admit honestly. "But I do believe things can get better. In time."

Lucius says nothing. He glares at Blackbeard and then leaves. You sigh and return to holding the bird, caressing it again gently.

"Oh, Izzy..."

♡♡♡

Stede found Izzy at the front of the ship. He was leaning on some of the rope rigging, his wooden leg propped up on the railing. In his other hand was a bottle of rum, of which he was drinking merrily.

He looked a mess.

Stede offered him a smile as he joined him, ignoring the look Izzy was throwing his way. He means over and notices the unicorn is missing it's head.

"He's seen better days, hasn't he?" Stede asks in a lighthearted manner.

"At least he's still got both legs!" Izzy yells.

"Yes!" Stede joins in. "He can't hear you, he's go no head. You've got a head, though, which you should look after."

Izzy down his rum. Stede sighs.

"What do you want, Bonnet?" Izzy asks, not really in the mood for conversation.

"Well, here's the thing. The crew, they're in a bit of a deadlock over the whole banishment of Ed thing and I just thought, seeing as, well, you were the one who kept his body aboard, maybe you should weigh in. You've already murdered him once. Seems like a pretty good payback." He chuckles softly. "So, what do you think?"

"My vote?" Izzy leans in a little closer to Stede. "A rotten let's got to come off."

"Right. Just to confirm, was that a nay or yay on the banishment?"

Izzy just drinks some more.

"Right... I suppose I just mention that our Spirit of the sea is worried about you. You've stopped talking to them apparently..."

Izzy says nothing.

"Don't push them out, Izzy."

Izzy just drinks from his bottle again. Stede sighs and takes his leave.

♡♡♡

"So! We, the crew of The Revenge, have voted and we've chosen banishment, unfortunately." Frenchie states, announcing the result. "So, yeah. Effective immediately. Your complimentary dinghy awaits you portside. Now leave, please."

"Fuck off," Ed hisses, walking past him. You watch him closely.

"Alright, rude."

"Fuck you," Ed laughs softly, walking past Olu.

"First time I've been on this side of a walk of shame," Wee John comments.

"Way to make this awkward, bruh," Archie says.

"Shitty sailing with you." Jim chimes in.

"You're making it really hard to look up to you, man," Pete sighs.

"Hey, made you this sandwich for the trip," Roach says, holding it out to him. Ed slaps it out of his hand and Stede catches it

"You don't want your sammie?" Stede looks sad.

Ed slaps it out of Stede's hand and it hits Lucius in the face. You have to cover your mouth to stop from laughing. Lucius bites back his laughter too. It really isn't a funny moment, throwing someone off the ship, but at least you can find something to laugh about, you supposed.

"Ed, say something at least."

Ed turns his head and looks at Stede.

"You're not a fuckin' mermaid."

You knit your brows together in confusion by that statement. Stede looked equally confused.

"What?"

Ed climbs off the ship and into the dinghy. Stede looks down and watches him, you and Lucius part with the rest if the crew, not hanging about to watch any longer.

Ed was gone. That was that.

♡♡♡

"Is it me or does the energy around here seem off?" Wee John asked.

"By 'the energy,' do we mean him?" Roach nods over to Lucius who was smiling and freaking out a little. "Or him?" He gestures over to where Izzy is still standing at the front of the ship yelling at the unicorn.

"Well, mythical creature?" Izzy yells. You sigh as you watch him from where you stand. He still wasn't talking to you much. "Anything to say to yourself? Fuck you!"

"Or them?" Roach asks, looking at Jim, Archie, Frenchie, and Fang scrubbing the deck of any "possible" bloodstains left over from where Edward had bled out.

"Do you still see blood?"

"Yeah. We'll get it. Just keep scrubbing."

"They're lookin' this way." Fang says.

You tune out the rest of their conversation to watch your stupid drunk pirate curse at the unicorn some more. If only you could talk to him. He would surely listen to you.

It was breaking your heart to see him fall apart like this. Izzy hadn't held you since you got back onto The Revenge. He was shutting you out, suffering on his own.

You hated it.

You try not to let the tears fall as you walk away, letting Izzy do whatever the fuck he wanted.

♡♡♡

Olu had invited you to join the crew for a surprise. Jim had speculated they were planning to kill you all off for being disturbed after sailing with Blackbeard. You thought it was a bit of a stretch, but you wouldn't put it last them either.

You were all guided below deck where the surprise was.

"You gotta close your 'cause it's a surprise." Olu says.

No one does that, everyone sceptical. Frenchie leads you all behind Olu. You find Pete and Wee John waiting.

"Ta da!"

Wee John moves to reveal the surprise.

The crew all jump and startle, hiding the knives they were all carrying behind their backs incase of an attack.

"Fuck!" Lucius sighs, jumpy enough already.

"Guys, it's called a pine-ata." Pete says.

"Yeah. So, you just pull this string and then--" Olu tries to explain.

"And then you hit it with a stick!" Pete demonstrates.

Everyone is triggered. PTSD from the storm, from Blackbeard.

"Time for blindfolding." Wee John tries.

"Stay the fuck sway from me!" Jim yells.

"You won't want to stay the fuck away from this came!" Roach says, brining the cake in.

You feel your stomach churn at the sight of it. It looks like the wedding cake...

"God's sake, take it away!" Fang screams.

You all draw your weapons. Yeah, even you. This is too much, too soon. This how it ends up at a stand off.

"One-half of this room has some serious emotional damage," Jim explains, holding Wee John in a choke hold. "And it's not us."

"Well, it's not us!" Wee John says back.

You have your knife pointing at Olu.

"Right, so, is everybody else's arms and various limbs getting tired?" Frenchie asks.

"Alright, look, look, look, look. I think there's actually an easier way to resolve this." Olu days, eyeing your knife. "Yes? Right. So you all think that we're plottin' against you?"

"Yeah," you nod.

"Which, in hindsight, maybe was inaccurate." Frenchie says. "I don't know, you tell me."

"Okay. So, can we all agree to just not jump the other crew and solve this as fuckin' adults?" Olu asks.

"You're saying this is like a space that is safe?" Jim asks him.

"Yeah, babe." Olu looks at them.

"I love that."

"A safe space."

"Yeah, okay."

You all lower your knives. You take a deep breath. Nearly lost your cool there.

"A lot has gone unsaid," Roach speaks. "I think now is a great time to discuss lingering issues."

"Yeah, yeah, absolutely." Archie nods. "Can we talk about the fucked-up sleeping arrangements?"

"Excuse me, do you even have a name, new guy?" Wee John asks her.

"Yeah, fuck you is her name." Jim starts, drawing their knife again.

"Hey, stupid name for a person," Roach draw his knife on Jim.

"You know my name is Archie," she point her weapon at Roach.

Everyone draws their weapons again. You sigh and point your knife at Olu again, but he doesn't sense any actual malice from you.

The sound of something thudding against the floor draws everyone's attention to the door. You turn and your heart skips a beat at the sight of Izzy. Two wooden legs at his feet.

"There! It's done!" He yells. "Maybe next time he'll think twice about not doing his fucking--" Izzy's peg leg breaks from under him as he raises his crutch and he falls harshly to the ground.

You gasp and drop your knife, hurrying over to him. He shrugs you off.

"Get off me! Fuck off!"

You sit there on your knees as he rolls over and starts crawling down the hall. Your heart breaks watching him.

"Leave me alone! I'm already gone." He mutters. He starts repeating a phrase over and over again. "You're born alone, you die alone. You're born alone, you die alone."

You can feel tears building up again. God, only Izzy could ever make you cry so much.

"Yeah, he's definitely more disturbed than any of us," Lucius says, watching Izzy go.

You try to hide your teary eyes as you get up and leave.

♡♡♡

You're sat up on deck with yours curled up wiping away the tears that were falling. If only you could get that stupid man to talk to you. You just wound to heal his internal wounds, and soothe his external wounds.

You don't hear the door open, but you do hear footsteps coming over. You turn your face away, but you know it's Fang who is now sitting beside you. He has one of the unicorn legs in his hand.

"You okay?" He asks softly. Fang was a soothing presence.

"Spectacular," you mutter.

He look down at the wooden leg and then back at you.

"We, uh, we had an idea for Izzy."

You wipe your eyes again. "Yeah?"

"We're gonna make him a new leg. You wanna help? It would sure mean a lot if you gave it to him after." Fang smiles.

"You want me to help?"

"I think Izzy would like that, don't you?"

You shrug quietly. "I don't know. He's not exactly talking to me right now."

"Aw, listen. He still loves you. He's just hurting, but maybe we can help. Let's do something good for him."

Fang offers you a small smile.

You find yourself smiling back. You reach over and take the leg from him. "Okay. Let me see what we can do."

Less than 30 minutes later the leg is being constructed, the crew are gathered to help. Fang constructs the leg into a strong, comfortable, and practical leg. Lucius had got some gold paint to add something that little bit extra.

You smile as you paint the leg.

"The gold was a gold touch."

Lucius smiles, happy he could help.

You leave the leg to dry and then Fang returns to your side with it. You sigh as you take it, looking it over.

"We sure it will do?" You ask.

"Its been measured and made just for Izzy. It will more than do. Oh don't forget the note." Fang holds out the parchment.

You take the leg and take the note.

"Right..."

"Just leave it outside his door if he doesn't want to talk. I can assure you he'll talk to you again soon."

You nod and make your way to Izzy's cabin.

♡♡♡

As you approach Izzy's door, you don't hear much. It's almost too quiet for your liking. You hover outside the door, the leg in hand. That's when you hear his voice. He's talking to someone.

"And you? What's your excuse?" You hear him say. You lean a little closer to listen, worried about him. "I mean, what even are you?"

You knock on the door hoping he'll answer.

"Fuck off." You hear him shout. You knock again firmly. "Fuck off!" He yells again.

You sigh. Telling him it was you probably wouldn't make a difference. You prop the leg up but the door, tucking the note and Marietta, Izzy's carved sparrow that you still had, into it.

You knock again and hurry away, disappearing down the hall.

"You are harassing a cripple! Fucking twats!" Izzy yells, no longer realising the person has gone from behind his door. He limps his way over and opens it, looking down the hall.

He sees no one.

His gaze drops down to the item waiting for him. He sees the note and the bird. He reads the note first, all emotion clogging up in his throat.

Those little shits.

He cries. Izzy covers his mouth as tears overwhelm him. He looks up down the hall, trying not to break down.

"Fucking cocksuckers."

He sees the sparrow and picks it up. It's then he realises you had been the one knocking. His finger close around the bird and the tears fall freely.

Shit. He's been really shit to you.

Izzy hold the sparrow against his chest and takes a few deep breaths. He grabs the leg and hobbles back inside his room.

♡♡♡

It's the early hours of the morning.

Izzy stands on deck with his new leg on. It's a good fit. Made really well. His hair is slicked back against his scalp, out of his face. His face is a little cleaner. No rum in sight.

In one hand he's clutching the ring he wears under his clothes, hanging from a string of twine. He smiles as he looks down at it.

In his other hand is the note. His eyes drift over to the words written on it. His heart feels full.

'For the new unicorn.'

Izzy smiles.

With the dawn of a new day comes a new Izzy. A healing Izzy.

He's going to be okay.

No. He'll be more than okay.

He just needs to talk to you first.

♡♡♡

The sun hasn't even risen yet when Izzy wakes you. You've been sleeping with the rest of the crew since Izzy stopped talking to you, so he had to be quiet when waking you. You're startled awake by something hitting your face again and again.

You wake up to find little balls of paper being thrown at you. You look up to see Izzy waving you over. You look at him confused. He wasn't talking to you befkre, and now he wants to?

That's when you notice the leg and your heart begins to race.

You climb out of bed and make your way out of the room, not waking a single person. You follow Izzy into his cabin and enter cautiously. He looks tidier, cleaner, more content.

"Izzy?"

He stands there and looks at you. There are several emotions flickering in his eyes, but he finds his words in no time.

"Thank you."

You stand there awkwardly. "I didn't do anything."

Izzy inhales loud enough for you to hear as he looks down at his leg, his hand resting over his thigh. "You did this."

"It was the crew's idea."

Izzy holds up the sparrow. "I noticed it was gone, but there was only one place it could be."

You nod your head softly.

Izzy puts the sparrow down and walks over to you, closing the distance between you both. You find your heart rate picking up as you look into those beautiful eyes of him.

"I love you," he whispers.

Just like that he's reaching out and kissing you. You're in his arms again. You return his kiss, having missed his lips. Having missed him. You reach out and take hold of him.

The kiss is hot, passionate, desperate. It's significance lies with the fact that you two spend all your time wanting each other, but when you're hurting, you don't reach out for one another.

You remove his scarf, taking the ring around it and carefully placing it down. It belonged to his mother and you know he would definitely curse you if you lost it. You begin to undress him, and he, you.

Clothes land on the floor. The soft thud of his wooden foot taps lightly on the floor as he moves you over to his bed.

Doing this right after the emotional rollercoaster you both has been through probably wasn't the best idea, but this time no one could stop you both, and this was long overdue.

You push Izzy down on the bed and take care of him, admiring him. You notice the other ring around his neck. You had seen it before, but it's origins you hadn't known. He was wearing it last time you did this too.

Still, your mind was focused on other things.

Safe to say, both of you are going to be a little late getting up tomorrow.

♡♡♡

@grippleback-galaxy - @askmarinaandothers - @godlikegallagher - @for-fuck-sake-im-alive - @whiskeyswriting - @lxsm2 - @bloody-bunni666 - @the-chocoholic-writer - @bugbugboy - @callmemana - @the-shenny-of-azkaban - @cool-ontherun-world - @outer-space-beech - @ahewi24 - @grace585 - @innertimemachinegirl - @dmitrytherat - @emilynissangtr -

[starboy-acer]

“no grave could hold my body down. i’ll crawl home to her” [Jay Ferin x You!]

(this is the angsty one of my albatrio x you btw. i know you jay ferin fans. i know what you are. story is below the cut)

(and to my irl... if you read any of this and send me any lines from this, i will block you /slightly silly)

you wake up on the deck of the albatross. you're cold, soaking wet, and in pain. you attempt to pinpoint where the pain is coming from, but it's difficult to do. you try to push yourself up, but your ribs begin to scream in pain. you let yourself fall back down and stare up at the sky. then, you notice the loud, crowded voices of your captains.

"JAY, ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" you hear chip's voice get to a level that you've never heard before. you've never heard this much anger from him. you could almost feel his emotions radiating off of him, sending waves through your body. "YOU COULD'VE GOTTEN EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON THIS SHIP KILLED. SERIOUSLY, WE TRUST YOU TO BE LOGICAL AND RESPONSIBLE, AND THAT WAS NEITHER."

you rack your mind for what he could possibly be referencing. you assume that your injuries have something to do with this. being a barbarian, you get hurt plenty, but it's always intentional and subsides soon after you heal up. this pain was different. you could gather that you, and the crew, were severely harmed in combat. obviously, you had been taken by surprise and immediately knocked out. if you were there for the battle, you definitely would've remembered it as you like to relish in your battles.

"EVEN THEY WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO RECKLESS, AND THAT'S LIKE, THEIR WHOLE THING." you could tell chip was talking to you and you felt jay's eyes on you. chip took a deep breath. you couldn't see what was happening, but you could tell from gillion's silence that he was comforting chip in some way.

"jay," gillion broke the tense silence. "i know that things get difficult when your family shows up, but-"

"but what, gillion?" jay interrupted, clearly sobbing from the tone of her voice. "but. what. what could you possibly say right now. i fucked up. i fucked up so bad that the literal tank of our crew got knocked out immediately. i fucked up so bad that the ship almost got completely wrecked. i fucked up SO BAD that i almost got you all KILLED. so what, gillion. but what."

you knew that jay needed someone in her corner right now. you could hear her sobbing and her voice breaking as she tried to speak. you knew that you needed to get up, push the pain aside, and be with her right now. so, you stood up. everyone looked to you as you winced loudly and grabbed the railing of the ship to keep yourself up. you looked down to where you were laying and saw a deep red puddle. you knew that was your blood, but that wasn't a new sight for you. you didn't care about how injured you were. you didn't care to seek medical aid first. you cared about jay.

"holy shit." chip said while looking at you. "you're alive?"

you looked at him and squinted in confusion. "yes, i'm alive. why would i not be alive?"

"you don't remember?" gillion asked as he walked over to try and help you stand upright. "i used the last of my healing magic just to keep you from dying. i apologize that you're still in pain."

"ah, you're fine, gill. it's not like i've never-" a searing pain rushed up your body from your ribs. they were clearly broken, shattered even. you winced and your knees buckled. gillion catches you and carefully helps you sit upright against the railing on the deck.

"dude, you need to rest. you can't do anything in this condition." chip said as he walked up and crouched beside you.

"resting won't make my ribs magically piece back together again overnight." you shoot back. you didn't want to rest, not when jay is under fire like this. "don't mind my injuries right now. i'm more focused on who the hell you think you're yelling at over here."

chip just looked back at you absolutely dumbfounded. "how long have you been laying there listening?"

"long enough to hear you screaming at jay."

jay was turned around and wiping the tears from her face. you could tell that she didn't want you to see her in this state, but you absolutely did not care. the sole reason you were even on this ship was jay ferin. you would always be in her corner. you had her back even against navy during training as kids. it was always you, kira, and jay ferin. the officers were always hard on her and her dad was the worst of them all. you earned plenty of harsh punishments over the years from standing up to the authority figures in your life when they would be anything negative to jay or kira. you were their protectors. you were the first person that jay went to when she was leaving and as soon as she said that she was leaving, you were already packed and walking out of the door with her. she is your best friend and your entire world and you would never let anyone harm her.

chip tried to explain himself before gillion interrupted and finally told you the whole story. what you remember is that while you were in allport- which is usually dangerous enough with your high bounties, but you needed supplies- jay saw kira again, and she was with faye and jayson ferin. by the time the crew found her, she was already too close to them. jayson was clearly saying something to her while kira had her hand on jay's shoulder and faye stood there listening. jayson immediately spotted the crew, but his eyes almost shot to you.

"kira, jay. your best friend is here." he said with frustration dripping off the words 'best friend'. kira's eyes widened as she stared you down. her hand dropped from jay's shoulder.

"you... you're alive?" kira said with genuine shock.

"what are you doing here, kira. what are you doing with... them." you said back, gesturing to the ferins.

"what do you MEAN what am i doing here? i'm navy. i've always been navy! you used to be navy too. you AND jay. before you just... left me."

"we didn't leave YOU. we left NAVY. and before i speak one more word, you need to decide between us and navy, ki." you used the old nickname you had for kira. as kids, jay had trouble pronouncing her 'r's, so you started calling kira by 'ki' and let jay catch on. eventually, jay's slight speech impediment went away and you did away with the nickname when you were teenagers as jayson ferin always said it sounded "childish".

kira shook her head and looked down. "don't make this hard, please. you guys could just come back and we could be us again and i wouldn't have to choose."

"choose." you stated. the words pierced kira's heart and you could tell.

"i choose navy. i've always chosen navy. it's my livelihood and i'm not going to leave it for you." kira held her head up and balled her hands into fists.

"then, i'm gonna need you to get away from jay. right now." you stepped towards jay before jayson held a hand up.

"step any further and i will not hesitate to hurt you or your crew."

"i am not scared of you. i never have been. you should know that very well, jayson."

"that is ADMIRAL ferin to you."

"hard to say that when there's so many already. navy is practically crawling with faye's spawn."

faye just looked over to you with a slight smirk. you haven't met jay's grandmother often, but when you did, you immediately got an awful vibe from her. your hatred for her has only grown over the years.

"jay, just come back over to us. you don't need to go with them!" chip called from behind you as he stepped up to stand with you.

"it's not your destiny to go with them! you're walking a better path than them." gillion stepped up beside chip.

jayson's eyes were locked on you. "you have one last chance to turn around and let me talk to MY DAUGHTER in peace. choose wisely."

you looked at chip and gillion as they nodded at you. you pulled out your battleaxe and felt your blood run hot as you entered a rage. a firey aura surrounded you and your eyes began to emit a slight glow. "i've never backed down from you, even when i was a child. and now, you're gonna feel what that old rage feels like now."

before you could even charge him, you felt a heavy weight fall on you that sent you to your knees. there was nothing above you, but it felt like a boulder was dropped on you. you heard your spine crack as pain shot up your back. then you fell to the ground.

"after you fell, we all kinda backed up. gillion wanted to fight, but i could tell that this wasn't a fight we were gonna win and told jay to come with us back to the ship. jay just... zoned out. her dad told her to attack us and she just... did. ollie picked you up and we had to fight to get jay. our crew against jay, jayson, faye, and kira was not a pretty fight at all. we nearly died, multiple times, and we only managed to get out because gillion did some mind trick on jay, picked her up, and we ran." chip said, helping gillion to bandage up your wounds. jay had already left to go have some time to herself. you wanted to go with her, but she told you to just stay there and she'll talk later.

"i cast suggestion and 'suggested' that she freeze and stop attacking." gillion added.

"yeah, that. but anyway, we ran to the ship, but they just chased us. they destroyed half of the port trying to attack our ship. they even got a couple of hits on the hull. it's not awful, but it's not good either. we have to hope that we don't run into anything before we get to edison kingdom. alphonze needs a repair too, so we're just gonna kill two birds with one stone."

"we are not killing birds." gillion shot chip a glare and you giggled slightly before wincing in pain again.

"gill, it's a metaphor. it means that we're doing two things at once."

"that makes so much more sense. i didn't want to believe that you were killing birds with stones."

after getting bandaged up, you went to the captains' quarters and took a nap to try and heal up a little, same with chip and gillion.

you woke up a good few hours later. chip and gillion seemed to have turned in for the night and were resting peacefully, but you didn't see jay. feeling significantly better, you walk onto the deck to see jay sitting against the mast. you walked to sit beside her and she stared off into the distance.

"are you okay, jaybird?" you called her by your special nickname for her. when you called her that, it basically meant 'i'm here for you, tell me anything'.

"i'm not, hawk." jay replied so quietly that it was almost a whisper. hawk was her nickname for you, similar to jaybird. she called you that because hawks are generally hostile to anything bigger than them, incredibly intelligent, strong, and they're loyal. you're just like a hawk. "i froze. i keep freezing. i shouldn't be on this ship. all i do is endanger the people on it. i keep putting everyone in danger."

"jaybird," you moved to face her head on and you grasped the sides of her face to force her to look at you. "you're not a danger. you are not the danger on this ship. we constantly get thrown into danger whether it's gillion and some weird sea creatures, chip with his whole black hole in the sea thing and trying to find his old crewmates, or it's you with the navy. or hell, US with the navy. the navy isn't fond of our crew for a hell of a lot of reasons, and you're not the main one."

"don't lie to me."

"i would never even dream of it."

jay paused for a moment. she knew that you were telling the truth, from your perspective anyway, but she didn't know what to believe. she looked down and started to cry again. you pulled her in close to you and she curled up in your lap, burying her head into your chest. you're the only person she's ever been so vulnerable with. you're the only person she can consistently trust, and she knows that.

you began to caress her hair, twirling strands around in your hands. you felt your heart squeeze, but it wasn't any pain. you had long pushed aside your feelings for jay because you believed that it would cause tensions or conflicts in your further adventures, but as you watched her sob into your arms with the moon beautifully highlighting her orange hair and her face glistening with tears, you knew you had to tell her.

"jaybird, i have to tell you something." you started and jay just slightly looked up at you. "i... fuck, i don't know how to say this. basically, i have some... feelings for you."

"wait, you do?" jay sat up, genuinely confused. "how?"

"what do you mean?"

"how could you like someone like me?"

you scoffed. "well, for starters, we've been friends for years and years. we grew up together. i've watched you go from a scared kid under navy's boots to an absolutely gorgeous, strong, powerful woman. you're a damn good shot and everytime i watch you fight, i just admire you even more. we've gone from me protecting you all the time to fighting together and protecting each other. you're also just so so gorgeous. i love how the color of your hair complements your skin tone and your blue eyes. when you fight, your hair gets all disheveled and falls in your face and it just makes you look intimidating and... i don't know, it just does something to me." you kind of laugh at that last part because you didn't intend to say that, it's just what you were thinking.

jay stares at you, jaw agape, as her eyes widened. you look back at her as your heart races. you don't know what she's going to say at all. except, she doesn't say anything. she just leans over and kisses you. instinctively, you wrap your arms around her waist as she sits in your lap. she runs her hands through your hair and pulls away.

"so... that's probably good, right?"

"yes, idiot." she smiled as she kissed you again. she kissed you like she had been waiting her entire life to do so. she kissed you with such desperation and passion that you were convinced she has had feelings for you for a very long time, maybe even longer than you have for her.

you both decide that it's time to get some real rest and head into the captains' quarters. gillion was asleep in his barrel while chip was asleep in his bed right beside the barrel. instead of going to your bed, you decide to curl up with jay in hers. you were both turned to face each other. you played with jay's hair, occasionally kissing all over her face, while she made sure she was as close to you as she possibly could be. it didn't take long for you both to fall asleep. you dreamed of her and, of course, she dreamed of you.

"wait, so," chip looked at jay with a confused face, clearly about to say something incredibly stupid. "anastasia. what's all that with her. like the romantic dancing and stuff."

you looked over at jay, feeding into the stupidity. "i was charmed! i also happened to be very nervous about asking you to dance!" she looked at you while she talked.

"hmm," chip and gillion looked at each other and nodded like they were agreeing with each other. chip finally spoke up. "me personally, i wouldn't take that. would you, gill?"

gillion shook his head "absolutely not!"

"okay well gillion, you don't like women. chip, women don't like you. i am not taking girlfriend advice from two men who don't get bitches."

chip and gillion dramatically clutched their chests as they pretended to be hurt before jay actually threw a stone at both of them, causing them to fall over.

"WE'RE NOT KILLING THE BIRDS WITH STONES, THE BIRDS ARE KILLING US!" gillion yelled out, referring to jay as 'the birds'.

[its-not-a-phase-mom-i-d8-demons]

pairings: Lucifer x Fem!Reader, Mammon x Fem!Reader, Leviathan x Fem!Reader

warnings: tw abandonment (but it turns out okay, I promise), mentions of the act of birthing,

A/N: you came to the right place! as the second oldest of six children, I have some experience when it comes to pregnancy:) I hope you don't mind, nonny, but I'm gonna split this up into a few parts so I can do the dateables as well!

Lucifer

The moment you had shyly produced the positive pregnancy test from the pocket of your hoodie, it felt like Lucifer had entered into a fever dream filled with nursery designs, baby names, the expenses that pile up before the baby even arrives, researching human pregnancy, keeping you out of harm's way and healthy and happy...

So when you first stagger out of bed and rush to his bathroom, hand clamped over your mouth and one shaky hand on your slightly swollen tummy, Lucifer isn't surprised

He is very concerned, however. You had been so nervous to tell him of your pregnancy, you waited until the last moment before your bump was noticeable to tell him

That meant you had been suffering from all of these pregnancy side effects before he'd permanently moved you to sleep in his room

Lucifer hoists himself out of bed and pads into the bathroom, gathering up your hair, if any, into his fist and pulling your hunched form between his legs for support

You hate this feeling with a passion; throbbing stomach and a lump in your throat with little to no vertigo and tears rolling down your face as you try and catch your breath

You tell him it hurts, you ask him if he can take the pain away as your head rests on his chest, lashes fluttering with wooziness

Lightheadedness was unbearably common; you would suddenly grip his sleeve and he could watch the color drain from your face and your knees get shaky, body beginning to sway

He always catches you though, finding a place for you to sit or lie down and gather yourself

Tummy rubs become more common; the feeling of his hands against your bare tummy, spreading their warmth and nullifying the ache, allowing you to relax

He's extremely attentive as well and can tell whenever you need something

Water? Here's a cup sweetheart, remember, you're hydrating and eating for two people!

Craving something? Chocolate? Fried pickles? Chips of some kind? sweets? He's stockpiled anything you could want and locked it away just for you.

I feel like Lucifer would want your baby to be a little girl. A little princess he can carry on his shoulders and spoil with his love and gifts.

Satan ruined him for having another baby boy, but if that's how the cards fall, he certainly wouldn't mind. Unfortunately, he'd be constantly walking on eggshells, afraid he'll make your little boy into another rebellious child

That's the last thing he wants

Lucifer does his best to keep his kid away from Satan and Belphie and out of the 'Formerly Anti-Lucifer League', but sometimes you're taking a nap or out shopping with Asmodeus, and Satan and his brothers manage to coerce the little one into their shenanigans

One thing is for sure though, even if Lucifer didn't want any kids and the creation of one was unplanned, he would never ever turn you away

He's very responsible and does anything in his power to make the pregnancy as easy and happy as possible

On the day you are to give birth, he's a mess

He has already sweat through 3 shirts by the time the IV has been secured to your hand

Everything he says doesn't come without a stutter

He's squeezing your hand and kissing your hair during labor, trying to distract you from the burn between your legs as much as he can

You probably need extra stitches from baby's horns ngl

Definitely cries before the baby is even put in your arms

Refuses to let his brothers come and see you, "They can wait until we go home."

Lucifer is Smitten™

He smooches the tiredness under your eyes and tells you to get some rest

Surprisingly, he enjoys a lot of the names from the human world you discuss and will most likely pick one of those

But if it's a girl, her name is Lilith. I'm sorry MC, your input is invalid at this time

You don't regret 'final day in the devildom sex' at all when you get to witness the Avatar of Pride reduced to tears when the nurse puts the child in his arms

P-P-Pregnant? MC, ya better be jokin'...

Mammon

You weren't, judging by the pregnancy test(s) clutched in your fist

He's not mad at you, he's not upset, (in fact, he's the happiest he's ever been), he just scared

Broken Condom Victim™

He loved you just a bit too hard last week...

but let's be real here, HIS MC, carrying HIS baby?

That's like the highest level of ownership on his lovely human you could get! Levi, Asmo, Beel, Lucifer, everyone would be SOOOO JEALOUS!!!

AND

He gets to have a little one running around again!

You saw how sweet he was to babified Satan in the obey me anime premier! He LOVES little kids and nothing would make him happier than someone to play with (besides MC of course) that wouldn't make fun of him for messing up and being silly!

AND

You're so pretty!!

I mean, ya were always pretty, but somethin' about ya is different and yer even more beautiful than before somehow!

Mammon said, his entire face the shade of a pomegranate

Pregnancy glow is REAL

Asmo agrees, after stealing you away from an extremely overprotective mammon and hiding in the attic to chat without disturbance (mammon)

But as much as YOU know he would be the BEST father, comments from his brothers continue to drag him down and the evenings he cried into your shoulder became more and more frequent as your pregnancy progresses

Mammon, as we all know, is, in fact, a tiddy man

He likes to touch and squeeze them, and just gently hold them while cuddling or even browsing in a store, he'd just come up behind you and touch your boobs

(also, mammon likes all sizes, so if you have next to no tiddy like me, you'll be at his mercy as well. those with the large honkers, however, watch yourself)

Now that there's a miracle growing in your tummy, other parts of your body are preparing for its arrival, including your chest

Swelling, swelling, soreness, growing and darkening of the nipples, and swelling make it so Mammon can no longer touch your pretty tiddies :(((

(grammarly didn't like that word)

On the day mammon snack size was to be born, mammon is silent but extremely fidgety

It was early in the morning when you'd shaken him awake like, "mammoney, I'm going into labor" and he was out of bed and out the door with your luggage before you finished blinking

After grabbing your DDD's and you, he carries you down to the car (what dysfunctional family doesn't have a car? a nice one (Mercedes, Audi, you get the idea) for lucifer and a Volkswagon bus or something for his siblings to share) and drives quickly, but very carefully drives to the hospital, holding your hand the whole way.

He covers your eyes when they put the IV in, just in case you're squeamish, and rubs your arms as the drugs begin to take effect and there's a little fear in your eyes at the thought of pushing an entire human/demon being out of your coochie

He assures you and never lets go of your hand no matter how long you're in labor

When it's all over with and you are resting in your hospital bed waiting for the doctors to finish the Apgar tests and give you your baby

Mammon is speechless as the nurse places the baby in your arms

That's HIS KID!!

Immediately starts crying

The little horns poking out of the blanket? Those look just like his!!

Judging by the bit of hair on it's head, it looks like the baby will have hair like yours

If it's a baby boy, he thinks it should be named "Mammon II" but you just giggle and remind him of the deal he made with lucifer long ago, that his first born child, no matter the gender, had to have 'Lucifer' somewhere in their name

Human names are dumb, except for yours of course, so he searches for suitable demon names

The last thing he wants is a kid named Lucifer, so that will be the kid's middle name

He really regrets his past decisions now

Leviathan

"Levi?"

"Yeah, babe?"

"I'm pregnant."

*leviathan has been KO'd*

No joke, this man is literally floored and didn't wake up for a while and you were afraid you had just slain the fucking Lord of Shadows

Some Henry you were

You had to call Lucifer in to wake him up because he was still flat on the floor a half and hour later

Mammon is more that happy to tip a bucket of ice water on the face of the son of a bitch that impregnated HIS MC

Levi wakes up and pounces on you, gripping you tightly by the arms

"You're k-kidding r-right?"

Him? A father?

Uhhhhhhh

Unfortunately, Leviathan.exe has stopped working, try again in two thousand years

I hate to say this, but he definitely detaches himself for a while until his brothers, especially Asmodeus, literally beat him into shape

He comes back to you, a little bruised and sobbing, but not from the beating he just received

He's so sorry he neglected you! He's such a horrible demon, undeserving of your welcoming nature

He's gonna be the worst dad, and he's not good enough for you, and his kid will hate him just like everyone else does, he doesn't deserve you, he's so sorry for making you suffer the side effects and feel all alone,

Sir, I-

FALSE

It's your turn to shake some sense into him, reminding him that he would be the. best. dad!!

Not to mention the fact that you were just happy he realized his mistakes and came back to you

He begs you to sleep in his bed tub with him for security, and you have to admit his tail is very comforting

Levi does extensive research on human pregnancy and now at the dinner table, instead of talking about the latest slice of life anime he'd been watching, he's just spouting random pregnancy facts and you're laughing so hard it brings you to tears

When the weird dreams and vivid nightmares happen, Levi is right behind you, rubbing your swollen tummy, and letting you talk about them

A lot of them were about him and about your future child

Most of them were about how they got hurt in some way, either that or YOU got hurt and the baby died

These, more often than not, brought you to tears and stress you out, but Levi is right there, okay? Nothing can hurt you, nor would he let anything happen to you on his watch

Learns how to massage you (safely) to reduce stress

Definitely talks to the baby a lot

Levi begged you to be induced so the birth was safe and not a sudden occasion and you agree

On the day the doctor recommended, you arrived at the hospital and got down to business

Levi didn't really want to be in the room with you, but he knew he had to for your sake and he'd played a few birth simulators from both perspectives and you really needed him

Kinda sits there awkwardly comforting you and encouraging you, holding your hand and caressing your cheeks, a bit flushed from exertion and tears

Listen

If the baby is a boy, his name will be Henry and that's final

If it's a girl, he doesn't really care, as long as you don't name her 'mammonia' or something dumb like that

definitely crashes your hospital bed to snuggle until the baby is ready

cries when the baby wraps its extremely small digits around one of his own

also at the little horns protruding from its head

and the tuft of purple in its head

Also Smitten™

He's so excited to get home and show off his beautiful baby to his brothers and then formulate a plan to raise the kid to live and breathe TSL just like his daddy <3

--

July 9th: VIP MEMBERS, GET YALLS JUICE!!

Countdown Masterlist

Main Masterlist

[kerie-prince]

We're Worlds Apart (3)

Draco Malfoy x American No-Maj!reader

series m.list | general m.list | previous chp

warnings: cursing, angst(?), Draco being a meanie :(

summary: Draco Malfoy is a pureblood wizard. Magic runs through his veins and has been since his birth. You're a Wiccan No-Maj; a non-magical being with ordinary blood through your veins, but practices what you call magick. And this very practice upsets your neighbor.

a/n: not my best lmao kinda gets cheesy. anyways, Y/M/N = your mother’s name and Y/B/N = your brother’s name

(gif cred)

“Do I really have to get one?” Draco whined in the middle of the phone store, getting his very first cellular device.

“Yeah, man. It's 2008 and you still write letters. Plus, your bird took a shit on my car,” Blaine said matter-of-factly. He found it funny that Draco still used an owl post for communication; the only other person Blaine knew that still uses an owl is his 97 year old grandmother. And even she has a landline in her house. “It's just easier and quicker to use. Why wait a whole day for a letter when you can just text me and I’ll respond in two seconds?”

“I’ve never even used a wall phone, how do you expect me to use a bloody cell-phone, Blaine?” Draco was fidgeting in his seat as he waited for the store employee to finish, what was it called, a credit score? Muggles sure are weird.

She came back shortly with a small, black box that had a weird word on it. What the bloody hell is an iPhone? She explained how it turned on, all the applications it carried, and details about billing and more. Draco was still confused about the whole thing but Blaine said that he would help him understand it better.

“Well look at you, Dray. A modern wizard in America,” Blaine jokes. Draco played with the new device, working out all the kinks of it. He sent his very first text message to Blaine at that moment. Took him precisely 5 minutes to type out a very bland, simple ‘Hello. -Draco L. Malfoy’

It made Blaine laugh so hard that he held his stomach. “My god, we’re gonna have to work on your texting skills, man. First things first, you don't have to sign your name at the end of a text. I know it's you.” Blaine explained to Draco all the fundamentals of texting as they walked through the halls of Santa Marie.

Throughout the day, Draco shared his new number with his department. The more he shared his number, the faster he became at typing.

At the end of his shift, he went to a nearby restaurant where he usually picked up dinner —not one to know his way around the kitchen — and headed home.

It's been a good week for him; his mother had sent him a letter everyday, he finished setting up the guest room for Theo and Blaise, he has this new phone, and best of all, Y/N had not crossed his mind once.

Now he still hasn't accepted what she does in her free time, but also he realized that she’s not exactly harming him nor did she know what he was. He's usually busy with all the work he does, anyway. It was quite a sudden change of heart. But mostly, it was his mother that was able to talk to him and change his views.

My dearest son, had it been during the time before the war, I would have agreed with you. But you have to understand that things are different now. You're different now. Now I am not forcing you, but maybe you should just talk with her just once. If not, just ignore her. After all, she only lives next door.

When he read the letter, he could practically hear all of his friends telling him ‘She's right, you know.’ And deep down, he knew it too. So he went with her advice: ignore Y/N.

—

You’ve had a terrible week; your assistant manager forgot to count the inventory which meant she also forgot to make an order for inventory. A group of teens stole a bunch of little vials of oils you had put on display. And to top it all off, a man stood in front of your shop with signs that had biblical verses written on them, blocking the entrance way and essentially driving away any potential customers. You called security but they never came.

You were used to this happening, it's happened all your life. But that didn't mean that it didn't hurt. I'm not harming anyone, so why does this happen to me? Next week, your mother was flying in from Maine to look around the house to make sure nothing would ‘freak Stephanie out.’ 

Driving back home, you were just waiting to mix some bath salts in your tub, play music, and relax for the next couple of days. By sheer coincidence, as you pulled in you noticed your neighbor that you now knew as Draco pull into his driveway.

This week can't exactly get worse you thought as your legs carried you to his front door. With gentle knocks on the door, you waited patiently. Being rejected once more didn't bother you, but you at least wanted to hear him speak to you and try your chance to become better acquainted.

Draco opened his door, his tie was undone and he looked confusingly at you. “Can I help you?”

Panic overcame your senses and without thinking, you blurted out, “Do you hate me?” You noticed his shocked face as it was probably not something he expected to hear.

“Excuse me, what exactly are you talking about?” he asked in his entrancing British accent. It was too late to take it back, so you just kept going with it. “I’m sorry, but you moved in here four months ago and you seem to have made friends with everyone around here but for some reason, you won’t even say ‘hi’ to me. Did I offend you or something?” You sounded exhausted and sad. Not only at the week you just had, but how Draco wasn’t being so neighborly with you as he was with everyone else on the street. It bothered you so much to no end. And the most frustrating thing was that you didn’t understand why.

“Uh, I apologize that we haven’t been on speaking terms but I don’t think I have to talk to you now, do I?” Draco scoffed. Why is he being such a jerk? “I’m not saying that you have to talk to me, but it’d be nice if you could at least wave or something. But instead, you look at me funny and ignore me. It’s kinda rude.” 

“Merlin, you muggles are so temperamental.” Draco said under his breath. The word sounded funny to you.

“Muggles? Did you just call me a muggle?” The look on Draco’s face didn’t go unnoticed. He stared at you for a few moments, not saying anything. What does that mean? “Is that what you call Americans in the UK? Doesn’t really sound nice.”

Draco started laughing mockingly at you, his grip on his door tightening and knuckles turning white, “Look, I don’t understand what it is exactly you want from me but I will say this; the fact that you are so offended that I won’t acknowledge you is honestly quite fucking childish and if you couldn’t get the hint then I’ll say it plainly for you now. I don’t. Wish. To. Be. Friends. With. You. Got it?” and with that, he slammed the door in your face.

Groaning out, you yelled at him through his door, “Fuck you then! I don’t wanna be friends with some rude prick!” You ran to your door and slammed it pretty hard. The sudden noise frightened your cat and made her run from her tower into your room. What the fuck is his deal? 

You walked to your room, pissed off and tired. Looking up, you saw Draco in his room. You stared each other down before you walked up to your window to close your blinds, flipping him off before it fully closed. Afterwards, you took a regular shower and went to bed. Anger built up inside you, and for probably the first time, you hated another human being. And you had to live next to him for god knows how long.

-

“I mean, did you really have to say that to her?” Ian and Ashley had just listened to Draco explain what had happened the night before. Ian just sat in the chair eating his lunch as Ashley responded to him. “I know things might be different in England, but you should’ve given her a chance. She could be nice. I have a couple No-Maj friends on my block.”

“I’m on Ash with this. Is it really all because she’s Wiccan? Be honest, Dray,” Ian chipped in. At that point, Draco didn’t really know what to say. He thought he could look past it, but he couldn’t. “Maybe, yeah. I come from two families that had very strict traditions and views of muggles. I thought I dropped those views but seeing first hand what they do and-”

“And it makes you feel like a freak? Because you’re a real wizard that can do magic and they sit in some weirdly drawn circle and ‘do’ magic?” Ashley finished Draco’s sentence, making quotation marks with her hands. “I get it, I really do. I was offended too when I had to read about No-Maj’s doing this during school. And then to see movies where witches are viewed as ugly, green-skinned hags with warts on her face and wear rags for clothes. Kinda brings you down as a kid. But I got over it. You should, too.” Ashley held Draco’s hand for a bit before she grabbed her coffee mug and left for her appointments.

Ian sat quietly, watching as Draco was sinking in everything he was advised. “Look man, it’s not really my business to be telling you what you should or shouldn’t like, and who you should or shouldn’t like. And you know what, you’re not exactly in the wrong to get mad about what happened. After all, she just kinda picked a fight with you out of nowhere.” Draco had a face that looked as if he was saying ‘Right? I’m not crazy here’

“But,” of course there’s a ‘but’, “from what I hear around the street, Y/N’s really nice. Super weird for sure, but an overall nice person. I think you should think about it.” Ian nodded at Draco before joining Ashley out of the breakroom. Draco sat there, thinking about what his friends said and also thought back to his mother’s letters. I’m such a child. And I’m the one that called her childish. If he was honest, you were but it didn’t make him better.

He knew what he was going to do after work. It pained him to have to apologize to someone. Apologizing wasn’t something he was exactly used to doing. He’s only done it once to Harry and his friends nearly three years after the Battle. He didn’t even really know what to say to you. But he’ll figure it out. Right?

-

You stood shocked at your doorstep, hands holding onto the sweater as you looked before you. “Mom, you’re here early.”

“I had been given an extra week off of work so I thought I’d just come and see my oldest baby before your brother and Stephanie comes. Also gives me a head start to plan our dinner and get this house situated,” your mother walked past you with her two large luggage cases and dropped them on your living room floor. She looked around the house and eyed all the decorations and pictures on the walls.

To her, everything was nearly normal. You had family pictures posted and some pictures of you and your friends from college. In the living room, you had a tapestry hung up behind your couch that used to belong to your grandmother. “Y/N please, will you take down that blanket? Why don’t you put up a picture of some flowers, or maybe something abstract?”

“Because I don’t want a picture of flowers and that’s not a blanket. It was Grandma’s. I want it hung up there. Ma, you gotta understand that it’s my house now.” Your arms were crossed due to the cold. You had the day off and tried to spend it well as you did your cleansing spell in the morning, but it seems that it wasn’t very effective seeing as your mother came in and immediately started nitpicking everything.

“It was cute in your room when you were a kid. But you’re 26 now. How would your boyfriend feel if he walked in here and thought ‘oh, didn’t know I was dating a 16 year old.’” Her constant criticism was nearly pushing you to the edge. “Ma, I don’t really want to argue with you tonight so I’m just going to bed-” a doorbell rang throughout the house and you were thanking whoever was listening for giving you a reason to walk away from your mother. 

As soon as you opened the door, you were met with another face that you weren’t exactly excited to see. “Can I help you?” you repeated Draco’s words from last night back at him in a spiteful tone.

Through gritted teeth, he looked at you and said, “I just wanted to tell you that I’m sorry for being an arse yesterday. I hope we can look past it and become well-acquainted neighbors.”

“Huh, you’re sorry? You don’t really sound it.”

“I know, I’m not really used to doing this,” Draco quipped. “But nonetheless, I would still like to apologize.”

“Yeah, whatever, I’m sorry too.” You were about to close the door until your mother came up and pushed the door completely open, “Honey, who’s at the door- oh! Hello, I’m Y/M/N. And you are?” She looked at Draco with the nicest smile that you had ever seen on her.

“Hello, My name’s Draco. Nice to meet you,” he awkwardly shook your mother’s hand. He didn’t smile, but he also didn’t have the usual scowl on his face when he would look at you. Guess he does have manners. “Y/N, is this a friend of yours?” your mother insinuated with a less than discreet wink. Without missing a beat, you replied, “No. Ma, this is my new neighbor. I just met him. But it’s late, so nice meeting you Draco. See you around.” And you closed the door.

“That was rude, Y/N. You should have invited him in. He’s very cute,” your mother grabbed her bags and headed into the guest room. From a distance, you could hear your mother speak to herself, saying ‘At least this room looks normal’. “It’s kinda late. Besides, we have all the time in the world to talk.” 

You walked to your small closet and grabbed the special bath salts for stress relief and walked to your bathroom. Starting to strip, your mother barged in. “Ma! Privacy, please!”

“Don’t be ridiculous, Y/N. I gave birth to you. Anyways, how long has it been since he moved in? Do you think he knows about your witchy stuff?” She asked as she stood by the door, checking her reflection as you continued to undress for your bath. “I don’t really hold a sign around my neck that says I’m a Wiccan, Mother,” you said with closed eyes. Your mother said, “I hope not. Night, baby,” and closed the door.

This is going to be a long three weeks.

-

The morning came and you woke up before your alarm and did your daily routine. The only difference was that your mother was going through your pantry looking for ingredients to make breakfast. “Morning, honey. Do you want some pancakes? I’ll make your favorites! It’s still blueberry, right?”

“No, that was Y/B/N. Mine are chocolate chip and peanut butter.” You said flatly as you grabbed your watering can. “Oh that’s right. But I already bought the blueberries.”

“That’s fine, they still taste good.” Your mother was satisfied with your response and started right away. You walked out to your front yard and watered your plants along the fence. The betony plants were beautiful, its sight was calming your nerves as you poured water over them. The sound of a door closing caused you to look up, watching Draco as he was standing in his yard with what seemed like a cigarette attached to his lips before he took it out and placed it onto an ashtray that was on his porch.

He walked over to the fence that separated your yards. The smell of the cigarette was in the air and it reminded you of your late father. “I meant it last night,” he mentioned his apology. You didn’t really know what to say so you just nodded and went back to watering your plants.

“But if I recall, you did start that fight,” he chuckled. You glared up at him for a few seconds before returning to your task. “Alright, I guess I’m sorry too.” Draco scoffed and just whispered ‘Whatever’ and walked away. “Wait,” you called for him before he walked back into his house and luckily, he stopped. “I’m sorry,” you said with sincerity. “Can we just start over?”

He stared at you, visibly contemplating your question then finally said, “Sure.” He walked into his house and you stood shocked in your yard. Your mother walked out and announced to you, “Honey! Breakfast is ready! Come on, I think your plants are watered enough.” With the snap of your screen door, you were released from your daze and walked inside. Maybe this week is turning around after all.

-

Draco sat in his room, not exactly sure what exactly happened. Was he really going to try and become friends with a muggle? He could imagine the look on his fathers face. Just because he had lost in the Battle, didn’t mean that he magically accepted muggles and muggle-borns. Narcissa didn’t like them much either but she also didn’t hate them as Lucius did.

This would shock not only his parents, but also his friends, Blaise and Theo. Merlin, the person that would probably have a field day about this would be Hermione Granger. He sat there, imagining Granger either laughing at him or cursing him after all the bullying he put her through. All those years of calling her a mudblood and he becomes friends with a muggle. A No-Maj. A Wiccan No-Maj. But then he thought about what Ian said at work. Y/N is really nice. Weird, but nice. And when he agreed to having a fresh start with you, he figured that it would give you a chance to prove him wrong about what you were like.

Or she could be exactly what I always thought muggles to be. Foolish.

—

next chp

(っ◔◡◔)っtaglist: @beiahadid @malfoy-styles-wife @fivenightslaughter @juneballoon999 @leydileyla @fangirlanotherjust @originalsoulcollector @opiomancy @lipstickandloveletters

[my-brothers-corrupted]

It's okay to talk about how hurting you are, Jackie. You came out of it with scars and trauma too. You're not alone in your pain, and JJ and you have been through the ringer and pulled back again. It's okay to acknowledge that it hurts. Not everything is okay, but that's okay.

Jackie purses his mouth before sticking another handful of nachos in it.

"I'm just taking guesses here," says Bowlan. "But the only reason I'm bringing it all up is because I expect that the pair of you need some medical attention as well."

Blue and Jackie exchange sulking looks. Blue sips at his fizzy drink.

Bowlan sighs.

"Okay. Let's talk Kayden."

"Please," mumbles Blue.

"Schizophrenia is one thing. There are ways we can work on handling it. Sometimes schizophrenia does not respond well to treatment or medication, but based on what you've told me, I think some behavioral therapy and medication, along with social support, could really help Kayden improve."

"That's great. But you said you thought there was more than schizophrenia going on."

"Well, there's the obvious things - vitamin deficiencies and some other things I want to look into. His bones are pretty brittle. I'm not surprised he has old fractures. But psychologically, yes, I'm worried about other things. Your brother's traumatized. I'm concerned about Post-Incarceration Syndrome."

“What... what is that?” asks Jackie. “Like, what does that mean?”

“No matter what happened to you boys, it seems that Kayden has really felt that he has been alone – and possibly stuck in his room – for several months, believing that this Anti is forcing him to stay inside. So, while Post-Incarceration Syndrome is usually applied to someone who has been in prison, I think it might describe some of what your brother is going through. It often includes PTSD – the reliving his terror, the paranoia, the panic attacks and breakdowns – and can even include Stockholm Syndrome, which, in what I have to admit would make a very interesting case study, he seems to have developed through his own hallucination. Most concerningly, I think that Kayden is demonstrating Social Sensory Deprivation from long-term isolation.”

Blue's stomach flips. He stares down at his plate, losing his appetite fast.

“He has some stimming behaviors consistent with intense social deprivation, including, at times, self-harm, slamming his head into things or biting his fingers to blood. He's deeply obsessive. You've probably seen the way he draws for hours and hours at a time, often unable to stop even when someone tries to pull him out of it, and sometimes drawing the same thing again and again and again. He gets overwhelmed if you talk to him for too long, but at the same time, he seems almost alarmingly desperate for social interaction. He needs to be with people right now.”

“We won't leave him on his own again,” whispers Blue, unable to meet his eyes. “We... couldn't do anything about it til now.”

“All we can do is move forward,” agrees the old man kindly, stirring his tea. “I'm just sorry he's been through so much. And I'm glad he has you now.”

“Yes, forever now,” agrees Jackie. “I promise.”

“But there is another reason I'm bringing this up. Post-Incarceration Syndrome can also include personality changes and a shifted view of the world. In Kayden, this is appearing as learned helplessness and submissiveness, generally ingrained in a person as part of their survival mechanism in an oppressive or abusive environment. He has felt that he is completely at the mercy of this monster for a very long time, and that would make it difficult for anyone to get out of the mindset that kept them alive.

"On the other hand, in some prisoners, it manifests as aggression towards others and more angry, defensive personality traits and outbursts, trying to protect one's self from the abusive environment by lashing out. But Kayden has been mild – and in fact quite kind – so long as he isn't hallucinating a threat. There can also be a need for control and a preference for the set-up of the abusive system even if it was problematic. They're called Institutionalized Personality Traits – or just Antisocial Personality Traits. And I bring this up, boys, just because I wonder if maybe Kayden isn't the only one displaying some of these behaviors.”

Blue and Jackie look up together, and then at each other, sharing the same expression of alarm. Just as quickly, they turn back to their plates, Jackie scraping up his chips while Blue takes a hasty sip of his drink.

Bowlan laughs and then clears his throat apologetically. “Sorry, it's just that you two are certainly twins. I think you must be using telepathy.”

Blue sighs, pushing his hair out of his eyes. “We just... we're here for Dap – for Kayden.”

“If Kayden is the only one who's been through hell in the last few months, then sure, let's focus on Kayden,” Bowlan agrees, picking at his salad.

“I do have some control issues and a bad temper sometimes,” says Jackie. “Hard to keep my emotions in check. That's probably all you're seeing.”

“Ah,” says Bowlan, visibly unconvinced. “And yourself, Matti?”

“I don't know what you're talking about,” answers Blue blankly.

“You're also quite thin, the pair of you. A little more active, I would guess, but quite thin. A little scarred up. A little panicky at times, if you don't mind me saying. Look, we don't have to get into it, I'm not a shrink, just... think about it. About getting some help for yourself.”

Blue turns away darkly, but Jackie's wheels are already spinning, absent-mindedly sifting his chips through cheese. He does have angry outbursts. He does cling to the brother system and relive bad shit that's happened to him, and sometimes he feels so angry at everyone else around him that he just wants to slink home to his brothers and spend the rest of his life hating the world until it stops scaring him. Post-Incarceration Syndrome. It repeats in his head.

Maybe it's a name for the enemy he's facing.

And if he can admit that there is an enemy to face, if he can admit that there is something that's hurting him - well, maybe then he can fight it too.

“What do we do to help Kayden with all that, though?” asks Blue. “Social isolation and learned helplessness and Stockholm Syndrome. Like a therapist, okay, sure. But what do we do? As his family?”

“I think it will be really good for him to be living with someone again,” Bowlan encourages. “Keeping him company, providing him with the social stimulation he's been missing. Just helping him live again, you know? He needs hobbies other than drawing for fourteen hours a day. Needs to get out of the house, to meet people, to remember who he was before all this. Help him make his own decisions and give him power in his life again so he doesn't think he just has to lie down and let this all happen to him. Respecting his choices is going to be key here. I've been watching you two – I know you want to take care of him. But you will need to be able to let him decide how to take care of himself too once he's feeling a little more stable. Otherwise you'll just become the new boss to him.”

Blue nods. He supposes that's what the cameras said too. Tearing down the big brother system. Treating Dapper like an equal. In the abstract, it all makes sense. He just needs to start applying it. Harder than it sounds, but... necessary. Vital, even. Shit, this is going to be difficult.

"Do you have any questions for me?" asks the doctor.

[lost-n-stereo]

Harry/Allie: "If anyone asks, you're in love with me."

“Have you ever been someone’s wife before?”

There’s a stranger in front of her, hands twisting in front of him as he looks from left to right as if someone is following him. Her mother always told her not to talk to strangers but didn’t warn her of the proper etiquette on what to do if said stranger was extremely handsome and rushing up to her in the wine aisle of the grocery store.

“Excuse me?”

He huffs a little, rolls his eyes as if she’s the one being ridiculous by asking questions. “I need a wife, like now.”

She wants to say excuse me again but she also doesn’t want to look like an idiot. The man stretches his neck up so he can see behind her and winces. “Are you okay? Like…mentally?” She says it with care but almost snorts at the shitty look he gives her in return. He runs a hand through his artfully messy brown hair and sighs.

“The short of it? My mother’s friend is here and is constantly trying to set me up with one of her daughters. She has four, all of them are…let’s just say, less than appealing. And I mean that in the most respectful way.”

Allie rolls her eyes. “Of course you do. And anyways, what’s that got to do with needing a wife?”

“If she sees that I’m in a relationship, not just a girlfriend but a literal marriage, she’s not going to try to set me up anymore.”

“And when she tells your mother that she met your wife?”

The guy bites on his lip as he thinks about it and she doesn’t want to admit how adorable it is. “I don’t know, I’ll deal with that later. Just please, can you pretend to be my wife? It’ll be five minutes, tops. This woman basically swims in wine every night, she’ll be coming down this aisle any second.”

Allie thinks about it, figures there’s no harm in helping this handsome idiot out for a few minutes. “Fine,” she sighs out. “Although if we’re married, I should probably know your name.”

He laughs. “I’m Harry. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Bingham.”

“Allie,” she whispers right as a tall woman in a dark green designer wrap dress careens her cart down the aisle where they are standing. Luckily Allie wasn’t pushing her own basket, just dropped by the market on her way home from work to pick up her favorite Pinot since its Wednesday and she always watches her favorite reality show with a glass (bottle) of wine.

Harry puts his arm around her waist, her body jolting a little at the unexpected contact. He places his lips close to her ear. “Easy, just trying to sell it.”

“I don’t have a ring,” she says dumbly, mostly to distract her from how close he is to her but he just shrugs.

“Details, darling. And remember, if anyone asks, you’re in love with me.”

Her knees go slightly weak at the pet name, the word falling from his mouth effortlessly as if he’d been calling her that for years.

“Harry Bingham! Is that you?”

The woman’s voice is more of a screech and she can literally feel Harry’s body tense. He just peeks out from where he’s practically hugging Allie and looks over at the woman that’s taller than the both of them. She quickly comes up with a solution for her ring finger, puts her hand on her hip facing the opposite way so it’s behind her back.

“Mrs. McAvoy, how lovely to see you today. How’s the family?”

Allie wants to laugh but she doesn’t, just stands next to Harry when he extends to his full height, his arm still tucked around her middle, hand resting comfortably on her hip. It’s hard to understand what’s so bad about this woman and her daughters that convinced him this is the solution but she’s sure as hell going to ask him about it once this woman walks away.

“Everyone’s great, Harry. The girls have been asking about you.” The woman looks over Allie then and she wonders what she thinks of the worn leggings and off the shoulder sweater she’s wearing because she was too lazy to dress up for work today. It’s a good thing she’s the assistant editor of an online publication because there’s no dress code and if she’s being honest they sometimes are lucky she even shows up in pants. “Who’s this here?” Her tone is curious but Allie doesn’t miss the underlying judgment. Not hard to read between the lines on that one.

Harry looks over at her then, his eyes full of very believable adoration, and damn this man could be an actor. “This is my beautiful bride, Allie. Allie, this is Martha McAvoy, a very dear friend of my mother’s.”

“You…wait…what? Bride?!” Martha’s face is practically purple and Allie is genuinely concerned for a moment that she may have swallowed her tongue. “Your mother never mentioned you’d gotten married.”

Harry just shrugs, drops a chaste kiss on Allie’s bare shoulder, and nuzzles her neck a little with his nose. She tries not to pay too much attention to the way her skin is tingling from where his lips touched her. “I’ve been keeping her a bit of a secret,” he says before looking into her eyes. “What can I say? It was love at first sight and I just had to make her mine.”

Normally a sentence like that would make her gag but those words from this guy, who’s looking at her like she’s the only thing in the entire world that matters, she can’t lie and say that it doesn’t make her melt just a little.

Martha is still sputtering around her words, which is honestly hilarious. It’s like she can’t wrap her mind around the fact that Harry, someone that is obviously affluent judging from his expensive watch and prep school graduate button down, would marry down the economic ladder. Allie can’t help but feel a little good about knocking this woman down a peg or two.

“Susan is going to be heartbroken,” the woman says and Allie raises a curious eyebrow like she feels a wife would at this information, looks over at Harry who just gives her a megawatt smile.

“Susan McAvoy is a lawyer,” he tells her. “One of the best in the city, but just an acquaintance, love. I assure you.” Allie bites back a laugh at how angry this make Susan McAvoy’s mother, who is currently fuming so much she may as well have steam coming from her ears.

“That’s nice, sweetheart,” Allie says, laying it on extra thick just to piss her off. “Maybe we’ll do lunch at the club sometime?”

Harry smirks at her playing along, and probably also a bit for making note of his apparent wealth. “Yes, perhaps. Martha, if you’ll excuse us, Allie and I have dinner reservations at seven. It was nice to see you again.”

He starts to pull her away by the elbow but she snatches the bottle of wine she originally walked into this store for off the shelf before he can drag her away.

“Don’t forget you said you’d buy me wine for later,” she says, biting her lip to hide her smug smile. Harry just grins, grabs a bottle of more expensive wine off the shelf and replaces the one in her hand.

“Only the best for my wife,” he says, waving goodbye once again to Martha before they round the corner.

Once they are out of earshot, Harry leans back with a sigh, his body making the chips on the shelf crumple underneath his weight.

“You’re a fucking lifesaver,” he says, his eyes shining with something like appreciation. “That should keep her off my back for a few months at least.”

Allie laughs. “Until we either get a fake divorce or I ‘accidentally’ fall off of your fifty foot yacht?” She makes air quotes around the word and he snickers.

“You’re imagining my life in a very specific way, aren’t you?”

She just shrugs. “If the silver spoon fits.”

Harry narrows his eyes, and surprises her by putting his arm around her shoulders and leading her towards the checkout. “Let me make it up to you by buying you dinner. And this bottle, of course.”

“Why are you still holding onto me?” She asks, and Harry smirks without looking at her, tightens his arm as he draws little circles onto her bare shoulder.

“Martha’s still watching,” he says simply, as he pulls out a black credit and swipes it through the machine. His arm never leaves her shoulder which she can admit is a little impressive.

She follows him out the door, asks him if she needs to change for dinner.

“You’re beautiful, Mrs. Bingham,” is all he says as he winks and gets behind the wheel of a Maserati.

On a whim she decides to turn around to see what line Martha was in but the woman is nowhere to be seen.

Allie just smiles, drops her wine in the passenger seat of her Jetta, and follows Harry out of the parking lot.

[otherworldsjt]

Death's Fury Chapter VI: Dark Lessons (Pt.1)

"The Primordials were beings revered as gods by humans for thousands of years. Over time, humans saw less and less of them until they eventually became the stuff of myths spoken about in folklore. There were originally thought to be six, but there are actually eight Primordials, each wielding dominion over an aspect of human existence – life, fury, pride, joy, lust, greed, despair, and death." I motioned to him with the last one.

"Greed and Despair went incognito many millennia ago. Since the Watchers haven't grasped the concept of turning over information to the next Watcher, any information that may have been recorded would be 200 years old by the time the next Watcher of the same family is deployed. That's why they could go so long being completely forgotten about. As for why we're here, well... you know those gods I just mentioned? Turns out you're one of them – one of the three most powerful, actually. You're the Supreme Primordial Death!" I finished and held my breath. I honestly have no idea how someone is supposed to react to being told they're a god.

I could tell from his stillness and the look of incredulity on his face that he didn't believe any of what I'd just said, and he was running out of patience. His body tensed as he opened his mouth to speak, but Trik chimed in before he could get anything out.

"Okay, look, I know it seems unbelievable, but we're telling the truth," Trik said, trying to prevent Death from getting any more irritated. "How else do you think you're capable of this?" He waved his arm to gesture to the dead scenery around us.

Death looked at us like he wanted to say something but decided he shouldn't.

"This is getting ridiculous," I said out loud. "With all due respect, we can't have a conversation with you when all you can do is glare or stare at us. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment, but there's an easier way to communicate. Do you have one of these?" I turned my head to show my c-chip behind my ear.

I received an affirming nod with a look of apprehension as Death turned his c-chip on.

"Yeah, displaying your words will make it a lot easier to understand you versus reading your expressions," I added as his screen projection from his holo-bracelet came up. He enlarged it so that Trik and I could easily see it.

On the flickering screen, it said – THIS... –

When I looked past the screen, I could see him gesturing to the state of the forest.

Then the message on the screen changed to –HAPPENED BECAUSE I'M CURSED. NOT BECAUSE I'M SOME KIND OF GOD. –

"Why would you think you're cursed," I asked him.

The message on the screen changed again.

– IT'S ALWAYS DARK AND DREARY WHEREVER I GO, AND ANYTHING THAT STAYS AROUND ME FOR TOO LONG DIES. EVEN NATURE. – The display then scrolled down, revealing more of the message. – OTHER THAN MY FRIEND, YOU TWOARE THE ONLY OTHER PEOPLE WHO'VE GOTTEN THIS CLOSE TO ME IN A LONG TIME. I'M GUESSING IT'S BECAUSE OF THE CURSE-WARDING CRYSTAL AROUND YOUR NECK. MY FRIEND WEARS ONE SIMILAR TO IT ON A RING. –

Well, that explains his fascination with the sky earlier: it most likely was the first time he'd seen it. But this curse nonsense needed to be addressed; I can't let him continue to believe that.

"You're not cursed, and this," I held up my necklace, "isn't a 'curse-warding' crystal. It's a pure rupture prism that, basically, protects someone from other forms of energy like harmful radiation or, in my case, your overwhelming spirit energy. And your spirit energy is the cause of things dying around you and maybe even the dark clouds usually overhead... Actually, let's test it. Look at the sky and tell me if dark clouds start forming; I wanna test something."

While he focused on the sky, I shrunk my field until he was outside it. The darkness immediately reemerged, and I could feel the weight of his unstifled spirit energy as it crashed against the field. After 30 seconds, I expanded the field until he was within it again.

"So, did any clouds form?" I asked.

– YEAH, HOW'D YOU DO THAT? – He responded.

"Like I said, this crystal protects me from other forms of energy. It creates a field around me that's only visible to those who can see other's spirit energy. When Trik asked you to step forward, you stepped inside the field, which weakened your spirit energy enough for its power and influence to barely have any effect on us or your surroundings."

– I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS THE RESTRICTION I'VE BEEN FEELING. –

"Right, and when I asked you to look for the dark clouds, I reduced the field size until you were outside of it," I continued. "Since your powers weren't being suppressed anymore, the dark clouds began to reform – proving that your spirit energy is somehow creating them."

After many moments of silence, Death finally responded.

– OKAY, SAY I BELIEVE YOU ABOUT THE SPIRIT ENERGY STUFF. NOW WHAT? –

I looked at Trik, who nodded as if to say, "Go ahead, it's your show."

Turning back, I smiled at the idea of having my own student.

With my eyes glowing, I looked at him.

"Now, I teach you."

[otherworldsjt]

Death's Fury Chapter V: Meeting Death (Pt.4)

"The Primordials were beings revered as gods by humans for thousands of years. Over time, humans saw less and less of them until they eventually became the stuff of myths spoken about in folklore. There were originally thought to be six, but there are actually eight Primordials, each wielding dominion over an aspect of human existence – life, fury, pride, joy, lust, greed, despair, and death." I motioned to him with the last one.

"Greed and Despair went incognito many millennia ago. Since the Watchers haven't grasped the concept of turning over information to the next Watcher, any information that may have been recorded would be 200 years old by the time the next Watcher of the same family is deployed. That's why they could go so long being completely forgotten about. As for why we're here, well... you know those gods I just mentioned? Turns out you're one of them – one of the three most powerful, actually. You're the Supreme Primordial Death!" I finished and held my breath. I honestly have no idea how someone is supposed to react to being told they're a god.

I could tell from his stillness and the look of incredulity on his face that he didn't believe any of what I'd just said, and he was running out of patience. His body tensed as he opened his mouth to speak, but Trik chimed in before he could get anything out.

"Okay, look, I know it seems unbelievable, but we're telling the truth," Trik said, trying to prevent Death from getting any more irritated. "How else do you think you're capable of this?" He waved his arm to gesture to the dead scenery around us.

Death looked at us like he wanted to say something but decided he shouldn't.

"This is getting ridiculous," I said out loud. "With all due respect, we can't have a conversation with you when all you can do is glare or stare at us. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the sentiment, but there's an easier way to communicate. Do you have one of these?" I turned my head to show my c-chip behind my ear.

I received an affirming nod with a look of apprehension as Death turned his c-chip on.

"Yeah, displaying your words will make it a lot easier to understand you versus reading your expressions," I added as his screen projection from his holo-bracelet came up. He enlarged it so that Trik and I could easily see it.

On the flickering screen, it said – THIS... –

When I looked past the screen, I could see him gesturing to the state of the forest.

Then the message on the screen changed to –HAPPENED BECAUSE I'M CURSED. NOT BECAUSE I'M SOME KIND OF GOD. –

"Why would you think you're cursed," I asked him.

The message on the screen changed again.

– IT'S ALWAYS DARK AND DREARY WHEREVER I GO, AND ANYTHING THAT STAYS AROUND ME FOR TOO LONG DIES. EVEN NATURE. – The display then scrolled down, revealing more of the message. – OTHER THAN MY FRIEND, YOU TWOARE THE ONLY OTHER PEOPLE WHO'VE GOTTEN THIS CLOSE TO ME IN A LONG TIME. I'M GUESSING IT'S BECAUSE OF THE CURSE-WARDING CRYSTAL AROUND YOUR NECK. MY FRIEND WEARS ONE SIMILAR TO IT ON A RING. –

Well, that explains his fascination with the sky earlier: it most likely was the first time he'd seen it. But this curse nonsense needed to be addressed; I can't let him continue to believe that.

"You're not cursed, and this," I held up my necklace, "isn't a 'curse-warding' crystal. It's a pure rupture prism that, basically, protects someone from other forms of energy like harmful radiation or, in my case, your overwhelming spirit energy. And your spirit energy is the cause of things dying around you and maybe even the dark clouds usually overhead... Actually, let's test it. Look at the sky and tell me if dark clouds start forming; I wanna test something."

While he focused on the sky, I shrunk my field until he was outside it. The darkness immediately reemerged, and I could feel the weight of his unstifled spirit energy as it crashed against the field. After 30 seconds, I expanded the field until he was within it again.

"So, did any clouds form?" I asked.

– YEAH, HOW'D YOU DO THAT? – He responded.

"Like I said, this crystal protects me from other forms of energy. It creates a field around me that's only visible to those who can see other's spirit energy. When Trik asked you to step forward, you stepped inside the field, which weakened your spirit energy enough for its power and influence to barely have any effect on us or your surroundings."

– I GUESS THAT EXPLAINS THE RESTRICTION I'VE BEEN FEELING. –

"Right, and when I asked you to look for the dark clouds, I reduced the field size until you were outside of it," I continued. "Since your powers weren't being suppressed anymore, the dark clouds began to reform – proving that your spirit energy is somehow creating them."

After many moments of silence, Death finally responded.

– OKAY, SAY I BELIEVE YOU ABOUT THE SPIRIT ENERGY STUFF. NOW WHAT? –

I looked at Trik, who nodded as if to say, "Go ahead, it's your show."

Turning back, I smiled at the idea of having my own student.

With my eyes glowing, I looked at him.

"Now, I teach you."