#but when she took me to the conveyor belt place i joked she finally made good on that promise 15-17 years later

[parasolids]

i want sushi but id ont want to go alone but i also dont want to go out with anyone else. but i do want sushi

[im-whatchamccallit]

New Normal//Mark Tuan (Got7)

Request: Could you write a Mark Tuan Scenario where he starts crushing on the shy short cute girl that works at his local grocery store? I hope this makes sense and I hope you are staying safe and healthy!

Pairing: Idol!Mark Tuan x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Mentions of Covid-19

Words: 4.5k

(A/N: This is kinda all over the place so sorry about that (Also running on 0 hours of sleep for the past two days so the editing is a little sloppy). And I feel like I didn’t really execute the concept too well but this was just one of the plots I came up with that honestly stuck with me

Mark put on the fakest genuine smile he could as the two girls snapped photos, quickly pulling his mask back on as they checked to make sure the pictures came out perfectly. He was prepared to walk away as they said their thanks, bowing politely and even inching further from the area, only to stop with wide eyes.

“Wait, Mark, do you live in this neighborhood? We live just a few blocks away, I can’t believe we haven’t seen you bef-“

“N-no! No, I’m not from the area, I just had to find a fully stocked grocery store is all. Everyone’s been going crazy since the outbreak so-“

“Right!” The girls spoke simultaneously, still not moving away as they discussed how people have been handling Covid-19 so far, Mark staring intently and nodding as if he were listening but, really, he was using all his willpower to not roll his eyes in annoyance.

Mark didn’t hate his fans, he adored them more than anything, but the idea that even during a pandemic they would bother him for photos and autographs, even in a busy and buzzing grocery store, was irritating. He didn’t even want to leave his home that day, but the fact he was running low on toiletries and needed more perishables made the trip essential. But after standing in this one spot for the past ten minutes with a shopping cart filled with food, tissue, and body wash, and two girls that seemed to be in their own world as their topic jumped from Covid to Loona fancams, he was determined to make this his last trip for at least a month.

“But did you see Yves?! She’s so pretty and-“

“Excuse me, I’m going to have to ask you to move from the area and maintain a distance of 2 meters between all of you.” A man said with a cheery voice and smile that could be seen through his mask although it reached his eyes as well.

“Oh! Sorry! Thank you for the photos!” One of them said, dragging her friend along as Mark let out a sigh of relief, the man stepping slightly closer to him but not enough to invade his space.

“You don’t have to leave the area. One of our cashiers said those girls wouldn’t leave you alone and assumed you needed help. Sorry to disturb you.” He said, preparing to walk off before Mark hurried to tap his shoulder.

“Wait, which cashier?” He asked. He was tired of human contact at this point, but really thought they deserved a proper thanking.

“Oh, right there. Her name’s (Y/n).” He said, giving one more smile before finally walking off.

It seems like you had been watching the scene unfold for a while, gaze intense and focused on the male ahead of you and, even as you watched your manager point in your direction, causing him to lock eyes with you, you couldn’t bring yourself to look away. Well, not until you saw him walk in your direction with his cart ahead of him.

You didn’t mean to stare at him, it was natural for your eyes to wander to people entering the store, but to see someone this attractive? It felt like you spotted a unicorn. You would glance up occasionally to see if he’d pass by again, watching him going back and forth in the aisles as if he’d been there forever, yet you’ve never seen him before. Maybe it’s because you were working full-time now that you didn’t have to travel so far out to school, or maybe he was just new to the area. You wanted to ask, but how could you just approach someone like him? He was cool and you were…Well, you. He’d probably walk past you like you were some nobody. But once you saw him stop to speak with two girls, you knew you most likely had a chance, but you couldn’t just interrupt their conversation to start your own. So, you waited. And waited. And waited, until so much time had passed you managed to check out three customers with enough groceries per person to feed five villages, but you couldn’t shake off how expressive his eyes were. He was miserable, obviously not in the mood to stand around and chat all day, and if you weren’t going to start a conversation, you could at least help him go back to shopping and getting back home instead of lingering in the virus hotspot you called work. You thought all would be well and done once you alerted your manager, but you didn’t expect the very man you were creeping on to approach you.

You were freaking out, trying to look busy in hopes he’d go away but the sound of his cart only grew louder, a pathetic whine leaving your mouth once you looked back up, putting on the bright smile you typically did as you greeted him, not wanting to seem even more ridiculous than you did.

“H-hello, sir, are you ready to check out?”

“Uh, yeah, sure.” Mark said, clearing his throat as he began unloading his cart, eyes trained on you although your head was low, gaze focused on the items slowly approaching you on the conveyor belt.

He couldn’t see your face but he knew you were cute, your voice evidence enough of that. You were working fast but just slow enough for him to notice small quirks about you. You mumbled under your breath about how ridiculously priced a bag of rice was, making some joke about how it was probably the cure to every disease since it was so expensive. You weren’t talking to him but he could tell you had a sarcastic nature to you, your jokes making him stifle chuckles to save you from being anymore nervous around him. He didn’t like the awkwardness though, the way you avoid his eyes to continue scanning the candy he threw onto the belt in an attempt to stay in your line for as long as possible without speaking not what he had planned when approaching you. He was naturally timid, but the way you were watching him proved you knew who he was, so he didn’t have to be himself. Right now, he just had to think of you as one of the fangirls you saved him from, and his idol persona could ease the situation immediately.

“I just wanted to thank you for your help. I don’t think I would’ve gotten out of here if you weren’t watching.”

Your eyes snapped up to see his face, a blush creeping onto your own as you tried to find some excuse as to why you were staring before, nothing coming to mind except maybe just being honest, but is telling him you only noticed his distress because he was so gorgeous the right way to go? No, you had to be cool about this, maybe it’ll keep you from turning into a tomato, especially with the way his eyes went from doughy and sweet to sharp and flirtatious.

“W-well, I figured you just wanted to hurry out of here, y’know? No one wants to be out during a pandemic, right?” You giggled and Mark could’ve sworn he was having a heart attack.

He swallowed thickly, eyes scanning your entire being as you finally bagged the final item, pressing total and reading it back to him, your eye smile all he could see. He figured you knew who he was once he took of his mask earlier, but it seemed like you were completely oblivious. He didn’t want another encounter like before but, knowing he could simply pay and leave at this point was comforting, so giving a quick thanks to a potential fan that saved him wasn’t too big of a deal.

“You probably don’t have idols come by a lot, do you?” He asked, watching to see your reaction, only to find your eyes glancing to the side and brows furrow in confusion, deep in thought before gasping out loud.

“Well, not idols, but Son Heung-Min stopped by once and took photos with some of us! He was a lot nicer than he looks!” You joked, Mark nodding in both understanding and confusion.

So you were more of a sports girl? You certainly didn’t look that way. Even from behind the register, he could tell he towered above you by a good 6 or 7 inches, your introverted personality made it hard to believe you’d work well in a team, and you seemed just a bit too young to care more about sports than idol groups. Not that it was anything rare, but almost every girl in your age group knew one or more kpop group, but you managed to name a soccer player that plays six months out of a year instead of a single idol that had promotions almost year round. You treated him as if he wasn’t famous, like any other customer. And he loved it. He didn’t feel the need to repay you by making your heart flutter at the mere presence of his celebrity status, but rather as a human would another human.

Before he could think of such a way to do so, he found himself in your debt once more, your hands filled with ten bags of various items he purchased, placing them neatly into his cart before sighing in relief, giving another smile to him.

“I’m guessing we won’t see you here for a while.” You joked, his lips unable to curve upward in amusement at the statement, knowing he really had no reason to return any time soon, but his curiosity made it impossible for him to accept that.

You were strange to him. Other idols treated him like a celebrity even when they were at the same height of fame, fans treated him like some god, but you? You were instructing him to use the pin pad to complete his transaction like you did any other person to walk through your line. Maybe you didn’t care that he was an idol, maybe you just didn’t know, but to think you were someone he didn’t have to fear when leaving his home, someone he didn’t have to hide from in case they wanted to invade his privacy and risk his health. Ironically, you were the breath of fresh air he couldn’t seem to get in the outside world.

“Yeah, I guess I won’t be seeing you for a while.” He commented, watching you bow politely before diverting your attention to an elderly man slowly unloading his basket, Mark’s body reluctantly heading to the exit as he tried not to stare at you any longer. It really would be a while before he saw you again.

But a while for Mark was only three days. He made the excuse that he forgot to buy kimchi to come back, scanning the store until he spotted you pushing a shopping cart filled with cans, scanning the shelves before grabbing a few to place them into empty slots. He was hoping he could talk to you personally at your register again, but he figured this would do for now.

You didn’t sense him as you hummed an unfamiliar tune, hands busy tidying the two rows of canned corn before moving on to the canned bread, a grimace on your face at the idea of bread in a tin can.

“That sounds gross.” You nearly screamed as Mark’s voice echoed behind you, your body turning to face him as you shrank under his gaze. It wasn’t scary, just very intense despite his eyes being so soft and inviting.

“Oh. How are you today, sir?” You asked, bowing politely as you smiled brightly at him, his teeth sinking into his bottom lip as he tried to keep his face from going bright red, silently praying this interaction goes the way he fantasized in his head the past few days.

“’sir’? I’m surprised my hero doesn’t remember me.” He wanted to hide at how stupid that sounded, suddenly rethinking his entire plan of even showing up here, but the way your eyes grew in size while scanning the floor around you, picking apart your memories to decipher what he meant and who he was, slightly put him at ease once more.

“I-I don’t kno-“

“It’s me.” Mark chuckled, pulling his mask down just enough to give you a warm smile before covering his face once more, a relieved giggle leaving you as you realized it was only him.

“You really had me worried. I didn’t think you’d be back so soon.” You admitted, turning back and continuing to placing the cans on the shelves behind you, not wanting to slow down on your work.

Mark was anxious, not wanting to lose your attention but not wanting to seem desperate. You were most likely going ask how was his day then move on without another thought, but he didn’t come all the way back here just to have a two minute conversation with you. But that’s really all he needed, just a bit of normalcy in the now upside down world.

“Yeah, I just needed some kimchi. Didn’t realize I was running low.” He chuckled, growing worried as you remained silent, only to see you jumping pathetically to place a can of mackerel onto a higher shelf, your free hand grasping the shelf below it to hoist yourself up, a gasp leaving you as you stumbled backwards, Mark placing his jar onto the floor and catching you by your waist to hold you steady.

Your eyes were wide, flickering up to him as he set you back onto the ground, grabbing the can from you and placing it into its spot.

“How about I help you? I don’t want you to get hurt.” He said, your cheeks burning as your body felt like it was shrinking in on itself, trying to escape the tingles his invisible handprints left on you, your head low as you nodded with a meek ‘thank you’.

You stood at his side as he placed cans onto higher shelves, you working on the lower ones to keep him from feeling like an unpaid worker. It was a bit too quiet for your liking, your eyes glancing at him every once in a while to take in his appearance, hoping you could find something to talk about. He was only wearing black joggers and a white t-shirt, his hair a honey brown shade, the only thing that stood out was the beauty hiding beneath his mask, but you couldn’t start a conversation like that! It’d be too weird! You had to stop overthinking, the answer right in front of you as you noticed the jar of kimchi waiting idly by as he focused on making each row straight.

“Are you sure one jar of kimchi’s gonna be enough for you? I usually finish an entire jar with one meal.” You said, partially lying considering you could finish half a jar before feeling full.

“Uh, yeah, I don’t really eat it all that often but I was craving it today.”

“Oh.”

More silence. You didn’t bother to speak again, feeling as if he didn’t want to talk to you anymore. Maybe it’s because you’re making him do your work, or you’re just boring, that last idea causing you to feel a little embarrassed seeing as he happily came to you with the intentions of talking, only for you to have nothing to say. You wanted to just crawl back to your tiny register and hide at that point.

“You must work a lot.” He commented, your eyes snapping up as his words, body jolting when you realize he had his eyes locked on you.

“I would’ve figured you’d have a few days off since I last saw you, just so you aren’t too overwhelmed.” He added, a dry laugh leaving you as you returned to your work, crouching down to straighten the bowls of instant ramen that were suddenly mixed up and unorganized.

“Well, I could took some days off but if I don’t work, this place would be in chaos with everyone trying to stock up before this virus gets worse. Plus, it keeps me from being bored at home every day.” You admitted, not thinking the conversation would take such an upsetting turn, your mood a bit down as you finally felt weeks’ worth of exhaustion hit you, your words flowing out precariously as he listened carefully.

“I’m honestly really socially awkward, but I value human connection, so I try to stay positive and pretend nothing’s changed but, it’s like I’m always having one-sided conversations with customers. No one has time to talk when they’re busy trying to stay healthy, so I can’t really blame them. But, I was really happy when you talked to me, I finally had an actual conversation again. Talking to you makes it feel like nothing’s changed.” You giggled, finally facing the man above you.

Mark’s eyes were hard with a strange mixture of sadness and understanding. He had his groupmates to talk to, his family and friends as well, but facetime conversations were nothing like being there and present. It was comforting knowing you felt somewhat normal when talking with him, the same way he felt just by seeing you, but it pained him knowing that he could show up any day and you wouldn’t be here, cooped up in your home with nothing but your thoughts, or him staying home while you assisted customers that only acknowledged you when they were ready to pay and leave. He didn’t know why you made him feel this way, not acting on pity but a protective instinct that seemed to gnaw at his very being with every second that passed. You were his new normal as he was yours, and he wanted you to know that.

“You know, I only really came here to see you.” He admitted, slowly lowering himself until he was crouching at your level, your eyes locked on one another’s as he tried find the right words.

“When I met you, I thought you were so weird, but it makes me want to see you even more. And I hope you’re fine with seeing me too.”

“S-seeing you?” Your voice was small, the way you swallowed as you anticipated his next words was visible as he gave you a final glance before fishing his phone from his back pocket, pressing the ‘Create New Contact’ option and handing it to you, your eyes going between the device and his hidden but noticeably kind face.

“Whenever you’re working, let me know so I can at least stop by to keep you company, even if it’s for a few minutes. And, on your days off, we can talk as much as you want, m-maybe go out to any place that’s open.” He didn’t want that last part to sound like a confession, it was way too soon for that, but he was silently praying you took it that way.

It took a second to comprehend the situation, a whirlwind of emotions swirling inside of you as you slowly took his phone, typing away at both letters and numbers before pressing ‘Done’ at the upper corner. Mark allowed you to slip the phone back into his hand, a smile on his lips at the random string of numbers followed by a name he couldn’t stop thinking about since he met you. He hurriedly sent you a text before placing his phone back into his pocket, holding his hands out once more for you to take as you both slowly stood.

“I should probably get back to work. The cool manager isn’t here today.” You joked, hand cupping his as a silent plea for him to stay, but you knew he couldn’t, that’s what his number was for, right?

“You can always reach me if you need someone to talk to. But, I don’t think I’ll be back for a few days.” He said with a sad tone, your head nodding understandingly although your disappointment was evident.

“Don’t overwork yourself, okay?” He released one of your hands to ruffle your hair, your body shrinking under his touch as you giggled unconsciously.

The air around you seemed thick as you watched him collect his jar of kimchi and head down the aisle and away from you. It felt like an empty promise the way he said he’d be there for you, but you knew you couldn’t keep him there forever. It wasn’t fair.

You sighed, returning to the now empty cart to take it back outside for customers to use, but not before checking your phone. It was always on silent because they weren’t allowed to use it during work, but you never knew what kind of emergency could arise during your shifts. You took a quick peak, expecting nothing important before seeing an unsaved number had texted you, your finger quickly opening it and, at that moment, you couldn’t be happier about the sly lie you were just told.

‘I’ll stop by before the store closes :) -Mark’

Ever since then, Mark kept his word. He was always in the store whenever you told him you’d be working, he would pick you up from work and go to any available restaurant to make sure you’ve eaten, and he always text or called you on your days off to either invite you to hang out or just pass the time in your own homes, separate but together. You were two weeks into the new arrangement and haven’t felt more alive, mainly because the nervousness you felt in the presence of someone so handsome turned into a full blown crush, every interaction sending you into a fit of blushes and giggles. You both were shy but grew to be playful and a lot more flirtatious, Mark’s confidence with every pick-up line causing your once bold behavior to fade into the bashful one he experienced upon your first meeting.

He thought you were cute, he said it all the time. You thought he was cute, you admitted it just a few nights ago once you gathered to courage to explain how you ended up “saving him”. He was smart, kind, always sharing funny stories about his old “roommates” that you couldn’t get enough of. He would sing songs softly as they played from the speakers in his car, his voice soft and angelic just like the smile he adorned, everything about him screaming perfection. You never wanted someone more than you wanted him and, tonight, as you finally settled into the passenger seat of his car after an eight hour shift, his free hand in yours as he steered out of the parking lot, you know he felt the same.

“You’re a lot touchier lately.” You joked, your free hand playing with his fingers as his eyes flickered between you and the road.

“What? You don’t like it?” His lips curled into a smirk, your heart stuttering in your chest.

“It’s not that. I just didn’t think you’d be into awkward cashiers.”

“And how do you know I’m into you?” Luckily there was a red light so that Mark could give you his undivided attention, a wave of contentment washing over him as you looked away, still flustered by his simple acts.

“I don’t know. I guess the same way I knew you were a k-pop idol.”

“So you knew?” He chuckled, giving a quick glance to the light that had yet changed.

“You were really obvious about it. You asked me about it when we first met, you sing like an angel, plus you kept saying ‘your friend BamBam’ and, knowing he’s already pretty famous just for being hilarious, it wasn’t hard to find a simple picture of you two with the rest of your group.” You said smugly, almost as if you decoded a million piece puzzle that no one else dared to touch.

“I’d honestly spend hours daydreaming you weren’t an idol, just because the thought of dating a regular person is easier. But you’ll always be an idol, and daydreaming about dating an idol is no different than actually dating one; you’d never have time together so it’d never really work.” It was such a strange confession, almost as if you were pushing him away but begging to be by his side. Your eyes were low, voice filled with sadness at the realization this was all unreal and all fairytales had to come to an end, but Mark didn’t think it had to.

He didn’t expect to be here with you, not this soon or this fast, but the last few weeks felt like months to him. You were his biggest weakness now, a constant fear that his desire to be with you would cause a slip up. Maybe a tabloid will discover your yet-to-be relationship and expose who you are, maybe some fans will catch on he lives in the area with how often he visits you at work. He was scared by how reckless he was being, yet he didn’t care. For every reckless act he was met with a bright eye smile, a warm hug only for you to scream ‘2 meters apart!’ and launch yourself away from him, and the sound of your giggles. You were the best risk he’s ever taken and he’d be damned if he’d give you up after jumping through so many hoops to get to this moment

You looked at your joined hands, his fingers weaving between yours until they were firmly intertwined, your eyes slowly ascending to his face that held no amusement or playfulness, just sincerity and a sternness that demanded you take in his every word.

“(Y/n/n), I could be a million miles away or right next to you every day and night, and I’d always have time for you. And if I don’t, I’d find a way. I promised you that.” You felt like you could faint with the way his eyes bore into yours, or that you could melt with the way his voice was so gentle yet firm, but you damn near died with the way his face slowly inched closer to yours, heart hammering against your ribcage as you silently applauded yourself for taking off your mask earlier so that nothing would slow him down.

Your eyes fluttered close, waiting for the impact of his lips on yours when a sudden honk brought you back to reality, Mark’s body withdrawing from yours reluctantly before facing forward once more, the green light causing him to immediately step on the gas, both of you hot faced but at ease. Mark might not have gotten his kiss, but he got the confirmation he needed that he wasn’t crazy for feeling the way he did, that it wasn’t a one-side attraction. The weight on his shoulders finally gone as he was free to enjoy the night with no awkwardness, no tension, just you. It truly felt like he could breathe freely again.

[spiritofchaoticdreams]

Gotham’s Puppet Princess, PART 4

(PART 1) (PART 2) (PART 3) (PART 5)

________________________________________________________________

“Damian?”, she repeated.  Damian Al Ghul  stood in a black turtleneck and jeans a few feet away from her. She walked over to him and the closer she got the more she noticed that he grew a bit since she'd last seen him. ‘He’s still a shrimp though’, she snorted. She was now standing in front of him, sure she hadn’t grown much since she last saw him but she was now 5’5. It was kinda funny how she was towering over him. She poked his cheek, he glared at her and slapped her hand away.  He’s really here. 

“So, whatcha- I mean what are you doing here? In Gotham I mean.”, she asked. Rubbing her poor hand. ‘Ouch!’, she thought dryly.

“If I told you, I might have to kill you.”, he said in a joking tone, a slight smirk on his face. 

“I finally got you to make a joke and that’s what you do?”, Marinette snorted, “Anyone tell you, your sense of humor is a bit twisted?” 

He rolled his eyes, “Says the daugh-.” He stopped himself mid sentence, they both knew what he was going to say. But they weren’t alone. Just random extras around them. Not even toys. Although, it's really bad for business if someone overheard MDL was the daughter of the Joker. She snorted and walked out the door.

“The daughter of a great comedian.”, she smiled over her shoulder as she descended the small flight of stairs. Once she was on the sidewalk, she stopped and spun around. “Well, it was nice to see you Dami. But Daddy says I have to be home by curfew.” She waved and turned back around and started walking away. 

“Wait! Marinette!”, Damian’s voice said rather loudly, she turned her head to look over her shoulder. Seeing Damian Al Ghul dressed as Steve Jobs running toward her made her laugh a bit. “I’ll escort you home!” He said in his serious voice. She thought it over. Damian Al Ghul, he knows who she is. Who her Pops is. He’s the grandson of Pops’ business partner. What’s the harm in him walking her home? 

“Why not?”, she smiled. He nodded and together they walked in silence. It reminded her of him taking her down to the Lazarus Pit. Except this time, he’s not carrying her like a princess. “Hey Damian, what were you doing in the Wayne Hotel?”, she asked. 

“I thought I said if I told you, I’d have to kill you.”, he said in that same joking tone. ‘He smiled! I think? Was that a smile?’, she thought. 

Marinette chuckled, “Yeah right. Then you’d risk our families going to war.” She smiled and Damian got this weird look on his face. She was tempted to ask him, but he probably wouldn’t have told her anything. So she didn’t acknowledge it. They walked in silence, the tension a bit thick.

After a few blocks Marinette noticed they were passing a grocery store. Quickly, she grabbed him by the arm and pulled him along with her. “Oh! That reminds me! I have to pick up some steak.” She smiled at him. 

He gave her a confused look, “Steak?”, he repeated. She hummed in agreement, they entered the store, “for my brothers! I promised them some steak before I left so now I have to get them some.”

“You have brothers?”, he asks. Marinette giggles, she scans the isles and spots the frozen meat section. Once again she pulls Damian along with her. 

“Yup!”, she cheered. “Actually, they were Pops’ anniversary present to...you know who. I was raised with them.” Damian had a clueless but intrigued look so Marinette continued. “ Well, they’re the...” she stopped to look around and make sure there was no one around her, “hyenas.”, she whispered in his ear. She let his arm go and started looking through the store's selection of steaks.

“So what were you doing in Wayne Hotel?”, he asked. Marinette didn’t bother turning to look at him. 

“If I told you, I might have to kill you.”, she repeated his earlier words, mimicking his serious tone. He scoffed, so she added,“Just kidding! I was there for work!”  She read the labels on the steak. 

Sirloin, T-bone, Flank, Tri-tip, Rib-eye. So many choices! She pouted, her brothers weren’t picky but which one should she get them?  “Work?”, she heard Damian ask. She nodded, and pulled out her card and threw it at him. She assumed he caught it based on how she didn’t hear anything. 

“MDL Boutique. The “DL” stands for don’t keep us on the downlow.”, she replied nonchalantly.  Damian didn’t respond, ‘He’s probably reading the card’, she thought. Fudge it! She’ll get them Sirloin! She grabbed two packages and saw Damian staring at her card. Then he looked her dead in the eye. 

“You...run a business? No, I believe the better question is you’re a matchmaker? ”, he asked, a confused look on his face. Marinette looked at him, “Well, I am certified,” She placed a finger to her chin, “Soooo...yes.” She smiled sheepishly.

Damian shakes his head, and chuckles slightly, “Why? How are you certified?” She shushed him with a finger, then walked over to the cash register. He sputtered, “Marinette Dolly Levi!”He groaned and headed over to the candy isle.  She giggled and looked at the cashier. It was a blonde lady in her early twenties who looked amused by Marinette and Damian, she gave Marinette an delighted look. 

“Your boyfriend looks a little embarrassed.”, she winked, “What did you do? Give him a hickey?” Marinette didn’t know how to respond. Damian wasn’t her boy friend. But he was a boy she was almost friends with. So almost boyfriend? Also what the heck is a hickey? The girl laughed, most likely  at her lack of response. “You’re so adorable!” Now that made her face heat up, she knew she was cute, but adorable? Marinette looked anywhere but the girl as she loaded her steaks onto the conveyor belt.

“You’re buying me this in retribution, Levi!”, Damian hissed as he slammed a chocolate bar on the conveyor belt. The cashier looked a little amused, and Marinette just placed it with her steaks. “Now please explain to me how you are a certified matchmaker?”, Damian grit his teeth. 

“I took a course, and then I graduated with flying colors!”, she said nonchalantly. “I even have a diploma at home.” She pulled out her wallet and waited for the cashier girl to give her the price.

“That’ll be 22.06 dollars.”, the cashier said, staring at Marinette with a curious look.

Marinette paid the money, placed her steak in a bag. Meanwhile Damian grabbed the receipt and his chocolate bar then began scarfing it down. “Aww! I don’t get any chocolate?”, she pouted. Her only response was Damian hissing at her.  She smiled when she heard Damian hurrying after her. “So you’ve heard what I’ve been up to. Now what’s been going on with you?”, she asked. “Also, what’s a hickey?” Damian almost choked on his chocolate.

___*****Line Break*****___

They’d been walking a while, and were almost to the hideout when Damian pointed out that they were passing by a toy store. She looked over  her shoulder to give the store a courtesy glance when she saw it. In the store’s window, there were stuffed animals, lions, tigers, bears, and one familiar bunny. She walked over to the bunny,  and shakily placed her hand over the glass. She whispered, “Cottontail.”  A smile taking over her features as she wanted to reach through the glass and take the toy.  Just to hug it for a minute or two, let herself feel at ease once more. 

“Do you want that toy?”, Damian’s voice brought her back to where she was. She blinked and looked down at the bunny. It wasn’t pure white with green button eyes, no it was grey with a white patch over one eye, its eyes weren’t buttons either. And it was naked! 

She frowned and stepped away from the store, “No, it’s a far cry from the real thing.” She looked over at Damian, despite his frown she saw the familiar gleam of curiosity in his eye. She kept walking in the direction of home and gestured for him to follow her. “When I was a toddler, I didn’t have any friends and my brothers were still a bit too rough for me to play with. So Pops got me a playmate, a stuffed bunny named Cottontail. He was my best friend...but...it wasn’t just my legs I lost that day.” She felt her eyes start to water and she quickly wiped away any stray tears. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Damian eyeing her with what she thinks is suspicion. 

“Why are you giving me so much information?”, he asked. 

“You already know who I am, and I really don’t see the point in playing games with you.”, she replied with a small smile. Damian didn’t respond, maybe it’s best he didn’t say anything. They were only a few minutes away from the factory, she could actually see it from where they were. But Damian probably wouldn’t leave until he saw her walk into her home. She shrugged, it’s just Damian, the grandson of Pops’ business partner. Again, what’s the harm in it?

“Well, here we are.”, she said. They were at the fenced gate surrounding the factory that clearly said, “No trespassing.” Damian gave her a look, she rolled her eyes and exclaimed. “Don’t give me that look. This is where I’ve been living!” 

Damian rubbed his temples and sighed. He crossed his arms, “Marinette, you expect me to believe that you and your father have been living in such an obvious location?” 

 Marinette huffed, “Believe what you want, but I have steaks to deliver.” She sashayed away into the factory’s parking lot. She didn’t make it very far before Damian started following her, and so she stopped dead in her tracks. “So are you gonna want to stay for dinner?”, she asked as she looked over her shoulder at him. “Because Pops said Judy made my favorite, Spinach Puffs!” 

Damian looked like he was either going to accept or he was considering it, but then his phone rang. He looked a little annoyed at the name on the caller ID, he tsked. “What do you want Drake?”, he asked. Marinette fiddled with her hands unsure of whether or not she should just keep walking to the secret entrance. Though that name got her curious, was it a codename? Was it assassin stuff? Should she be listening in on this? “Fine, have my transportation arrangements set up and I’ll be there.” Definitely assassin stuff.  He hung up the call, he gave Marinette a somewhat apologetic look. “As tempting as that sounds, I have to decline.”, he said. 

Marinette shook her head, “No worries. Guess I’ll just say goodnight then.” She waved a little and started walking closer to the secret entrance when Damian stopped her by grabbing her wrist. She turned to watch him pull  out a pen and her receipt from the store. He writes something on the slip of paper and hands it to her. “My personal phone number, if you need the assistance of the grandson of the demon head. ” 

Marinette grinned at him. “Of course, thank you Damian! But you do know my phone number is on my business card right?”  

Damian gave her a deadpan look, then he got this nervous look on his face, it seemed so out of place. “Marinette, can you answer me this question honestly?”, he asked. She shrugged her shoulders and nodded. “Why are you wearing spray tan?”  

Marinette froze slightly, ‘he noticed? But how?’, she pondered but then she broke into a fit of giggles,“You know me, I’m a daddy’s girl. I want to be just like him. He says “jump’ ” She looked Damian dead in the eyes and smiled as she said, “I ask how ''high”. He asked me if I wanted to be like him. How could I ever say no? But in order to parade around as Marinette Dolly Levi, I have to look like a regular teenage girl.”

“Your loyalty is admirable.”, Damian said, “To be as loyal as you are to your father, that type of devotion would be highly rewarded in the league.” 

“I don’t know about all that, but Pops is the one who’s given me so much! He raised me, cared for me, provided for me! He even saved me from death, then he healed me, and he even found a way for me to walk again! Then he helped me get back in the game, and I was reborn again! I will do anything Pops asks, because of how much he’s done for me!”, she exclaimed wholeheartedly. Then her eyes widened in shock, and she cried out,  “Oh crud, curfew!” 

She pulled Damian in for a hug and said, “Goodnight Damian! Get home safely!” And booked it to the doorway of the hideout. Marinette knocked on the door, she looked over her shoulder and Damian was nowhere to be seen. The door creaked open and she was met with darkness. Before she could blink she was pulled inside and was shoved onto a chair. Then she heard a distinct click-click sound and there was a light blinding her. Then the door slammed behind her.

“Young lady do you have any idea what time it is!”, Pops shouted at her, his silhouette outlined by a giant lamp shining behind him. Marinette had to squint really hard just to see his face, he was frowning. Crud.

 Marinette winced and looked down at her feet, “I’m sorry Papa, I must have lost track of time at the grocery store.” She said gesturing to the bag of steaks she had in her arms. Pops pinched the bridge of his nose, “Marinette Dolly Levi.” She flinched, ‘Full name!? Oh I’m in trouble.’, she thought. “I get it. I do, you’re 13. You want to explore, test the boundaries of your freedom!” ‘There’s a but to this isn’t there?’, she sighed inwardly. Then Pops’ smiled and Marinette could tell that it was strained, “But! You are 13! You have a curfew for a reason!”, he paused. “We live in a society that preys on the innocent and tries to corrupt and turn the whole world into a depraved cesspit of despair and deception….And my sweet Dolly, you are one such innocent soul.” 

“Pops, I would’ve been fine. I am your daughter-“, she was cut off by Pops holding up his hand in a “stop” motion. “I’m your father, yes. My influence spreads almost all over the world, but there are thousands. No, millions of people who would love to get their slimy hands on the Joker’s daughter!”, he said, his voice getting louder and more desperate with every word.

Marinette looked at him, she opened her mouth to refute that she would’ve been fine. She can fight! She can distract! She can evade! Nobody even knows who she is! “Like Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy!”, Pops added. Marinette froze, her blood ran cold. “Oh they would love to find out that you lived and then use you as bait. Hell, maybe brainwash you to think I’m the bad guy! Then get you to fight me! And-” Pops froze whatever he was about to say was lost. It took Marinette a few seconds to understand why. She was crying, her face full of tears streaming down her face and soft sobs escaping her. Pops looked a bit scared, then he bent down and extended his arms out towards her. Marinette immediately threw herself off the chair and ran into his arms, and sobbed.   

“I’m sorry, Daddy.”, Marinette hiccuped into his jacket. Pops patted her hair, and hugged her tightly, “There, there. Daddy’s here. I-I went too far. I’m sorry.” His voice full of remorse and the way it cracked, made her freeze. She made him cry, she made him cry. No. Pops should be smiling! 

Marinette clung to his jacket even more, “N-no! It was my f-f-a-ault for missing curfew!” She sobbed, “You were right!” He shushed her, and pushed her away so that she was looking at him “There, there, Dolly.” He used his hand to wipe her tears away, “No more tears.” Marinette tried to stop, but it was hard. The tears wouldn’t stop, and the more she tried to force it, the more the tears fell. 

“Just smile, darn you smile.”, Pops softly sang, “Everybody needs a clown! Now with just one stroke.” Pops’ voice trailed off and instinctively Marinette finished the rest of the song through her tears, “The final joke. Just smile, darn ya smile.” They both started laughing as they sang the rest of the song. Marinette sang the song louder and louder with every word. And soon she forgot what had just occurred. Or tried to, the guilt of upsetting Pops. The way she took his smile away was eating away at her.

___*****Line Break*****___

Marinette woke up to the sweet smell of pancakes, she hurried down the stairs, past Bud and Lou who were still sleeping off their midnight steaks. She made it to the area they had deemed the kitchen area and saw Pops already at the table reading a newspaper in one hand and eating a spinach puff in the other. A small plate of the delicious treats in front of them.  He looked up from the paper, “Good morning Dolly!” 

She grinned at him, “Morning Popsicle!” She passes by him and kisses his cheek and hurries over to the stove where Judy handed her a plate of warm pancakes. She beamed at Judy who smiled at her, and signed “Enjoy!”. Marinette’s mouth salivated at the sight of them, warm and crispy, she sat down at her seat at the table when Pops’ spoke up.

“You know, I don’t know why I overreacted last night. ”, Pops said, making Marinette stop and freeze, remembering his words from last night. “ I mean it’s not like you were out and about with some boy!”, Pops cackled as he stuffed his face with another mouthful of pancake. Wait, that's a bad thing?! Maybe it’s a good thing she chose not to mention that she walked home with Damian last night. Still she shouldn’t be hiding things from Pops, but she doesn’t want him to cry because she was a bad daughter. Yeah she should keep quiet about Damian. Speaking of Damian, there was something he never told her. Even when she asked politely.

“Pops’ what’s a hickey?”, she asked before stuffing her mouth with her breakfast. Pops’ eyes widened and looked like they were about to pop out of his skull. Then he choked on his second pancake, he was hacking and struggling to get the pastry lodged in his throat out. Marinette panicked and ran over to him but was pushed aside by Judy. Who promptly gave him the heimlich maneuver, immediately the mashed up food went flying across the table landing on Marinette’s plate. ‘Ew!’, she thought, trying not to gag. Luckily, it didn’t touch any of her pancakes. 

“WHO TAUGHT YOU THAT WORD!”, Pops yelled. Marinette tilted her head, “Why?”, she asked. “THAT IS A VERY BAD WORD!”  was her response. ‘That doesn’t answer my question though’, she thought. ‘Maybe Lila or Alya would know.’

“Okay, Pops!”, Marinette said as finished her first pancake. ‘If it’s a bad word, then why did the cashier girl ask if she gave Damian a hickey?’, she pondered. It just doesn’t make any sense! What is a hickey?!She absent mindly went for more pancakes, only for her fork to touch the plate, she looked back down at her plate, her pancake...It...Was...Gone! What?! She still had two left on her plate! She looked over at Pops’ plate. When did he go get more pancakes? Wait why does he have two plates?!

GASP! He stole her plate! Right as she was about to say something, Bud came running with her purse in his mouth. She slid off her seat to kneel down in front of him and he dropped it in her  lap. She smiled at him and scratched his chin, “Thank you Lou!” She looked at her phone and saw she had 10 missed calls from Pants On Fire. “Oh crud! I’m supposed to go to Wayne Hotel to meet with Lila!” She shot up like a bullet and was about to run off to her room when Pops cleared his throat. 

 “Dolly”, he said without even looking up from his newspaper. “Curfew.” Marinette nodded and nervously smiled, “Of course! It won’t ever happen again!”  The guilt from making Pops worry over her was beginning to eat at her again. “You should tan a bit when you get home.”, he added as she walked away.

It had been a while since she spent some time in her tanning bed. Guess her tan was starting to fade a bit. Looks like those stupid self tanning spray were cheap after all! “Okay Pops!”, she said. 

She ran upstairs to her room and changed out of her pajamas into something more business casual. Is she forgetting anything? Keys, phone, wallet, tools, purse? Nope, that’s everything. She ran back downstairs, passing by her sleeping brothers, and racing to the kitchen where most of her family was. Punch and Judy eating some delicious looking pancakes, her stomach growled at the sight. All the while, Pops was still reading the newspaper. She kissed Pops’ cheek, and gave hugs to Punch and Judy. Before she left the kitchen, Pops cleared his throat.

“Do you have everything you need?”, Pops asked, finally looking up from his newspaper. Marinette shook her head yes, Pops smiled. “Attagirl. Just remember to be home by 10:00.” Marinette nodded and ran out the door.  She texted Lila.

Me: I’m on my way

She booked it to the nearest bus stop and waited. Then her phone beeped, twice. She looked around, she was alone. There was no one who looked like they might take her away. She pulled out her phone and unlocked it.

Pants on Fire: Ok

Ok? Ok!? Is this girl serious?! She called her numerous times just for ok?! Ugh! Stupid toy! She’s lucky she’s even playing with her! She frowned and shoved her phone back into her purse. Then her stomach grumbled slightly, she was confused.Then it hit her, she’s only running on one pancake. Oh well, it’s what she gets for missing curfew.

___*****Line Break*****___

 Eventually, she made it back to the Wayne Hotel. Finally here! She walked up the staircase and through the doors, sighing she pulled out her phone and texted Lila.

Me: I’m in the lobby 

Me: Be there soon!

Then she overheard an excited squeal, curious she turned her head and saw Alya talking to two boys. A blonde boy who looked both happy and nervous, and a boy with glasses and a red cap who just looked concerned. The trio was about 10 feet away from her, but they were right next to the elevator.  Marinette could tell how happy Alya was from where she was at the door.  Her earrings seemed to glow brighter than usual, was it cause she was happier than usual? 

The closer Marinette got to the elevator the more she could hear the trio. “Seriously? You’re dad’s coming to the Wayne Gala?! That’s so awesome! Do you think you could get me an interview with him?”, Alya exclaimed as she stared at the Blondie with stars in her eyes. But the Blondie was silent, seeing Blondie like this Alya’s red glow dimmed and Glasses placed a hand on his shoulder. 

“Adrien. Dude. Are you okay?”, he asked. ‘That’s Adrien? He’s kinda meh. Why did Lila lie about him?’, she thought. ‘Is he super rich or something?’ Blondie, or Adrien reached up to grab the other boy’s hand and smiled reassuringly. 

“Don’t worry Nino. I’m fine, it’s just Father is planning a father-son outing tomorrow.”, Adrien smiled. Well that doesn’t seem like something to be upset over. “It’s going to be the first time we’ve hung outside the house since my mom disappeared.” Oh, should she be listening to this conversation?

Marinette was close enough now to see their faces, and honestly? They both seemed bland. Sure they were good-looking in their own right, but that’s it.  So far they didn’t seem like anything more than toys. 

“Oh that’s so amazing Adrien! Wait tomorrow? So he’s already here? Or coming tomorrow?”, Alya questioned. A confused look on her face, Glasses or Nino looked a bit upset at this revelation. Marinette was right next to them now, she didn’t look at them,or try to gain Alya’s attention. She needs to get to Lila’s room to do some final touch ups to the dress. 

“Actually, he arrived the same day we did. He’s just been busy trying to branch out in Gotham.”, Adrien admitted. Marinette pressed the button for the elevator and it came to her almost immediately. She stepped inside and overheard Adrien say, “Father thinks it’ll be good for the brand if he is friends with Bruce Wayne and I’m friends with-” The elevator doors closed as she pressed the 12th floor button, effectively cutting off Adrien. 

After a minute or two she was up on the 12th floor, and now standing in front of Lila’s room. She knocked and there was no response. She pulled out her phone and texted Lila.

Me: I’m here!

Me: Like right outside your door

After 5 minutes she still had no response. Okay nothing to worry about, she’ll just call her. She clicked on Lila’s contact name and waited. 

___*****Line Break*****___

Soooooo, she called Lila twice, with about 3 minutes in between each call. Okay maybut it looked like she hadn’t even read her messages. Did she step out? Did she  forget her phone? Is she on the phone again? Or is she on the toilet? Maybe she should check the door, if it's locked she’ll wait. If it's unlocked she’ll go in. She grabbed the doorknob and twisted, it was unlocked. She released it and face palmed.

What is wrong with this girl?! This is Gotham! Seriously? Did this girl not learn from the first time she walked into her room?! Unless, she’s dead. Ugh! She better not walk in on a dead body! She sighed and twisted the door knob again, and walked into the room. So far no corpse smell.

She walked further into the room and saw Lila. In the Peacock Dress,  staring into a floor-length mirror that was attached to the wall. All the while swaying her hips to see the skirt of the dress twirl. She was able to see Lila’s face through the reflection, and the girl had a pleased look on her face. Seriously?! She was here the entire time?! Marinette resisted the urge to facepalm, and instead of grabbing Lila’s hair and twisting it like it was playdough, she took a deep breath. She put on the most genuine smile she could muster.

“Hey Lila!”, she chirped. Lila jumped and Marinette saw Lila’s reflection looked shocked for just a second before turning into a smile. It kind of looked genuine.

“Marinette! Darling! What a surprise! I didn’t even hear you come in!”, Lila beamed.  Still modeling with the dress on. 

“Well, the door was unlocked and you didn’t answer my texts or calls.”, Marinette said, “And because this is Gotham, I was worried.” She said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, because it was.

Lila didn’t look like she acknowledged her comment, she just kept twirling. Then Lila piped up, “I know what you mean. I’ve been here for over a week now and I simply can’t relax unless I have this dress on! Gotham is such a gloomy mess.” Oh now that made her mad, insulting her hometown?! Does this girl have a death wish?

If Lila saw the anger in her eyes, she didn’t show it. Instead she kept modeling in the mirror, even blowing kisses at her reflection. ‘Is she trying to annoy her?’, Marinette thought. Lila looked at Marinette through the mirror and smiled.  Marinette was able to smile by imagining Lila’s head on a spike, while she and Pops laughed.

“Honestly, Mari, Darling. I worry about you being in such a dangerous city. All the unsavory types roaming the streets.”, Lila said as she spun around and faced Marinette directly. She walked over to her and placed her hands on Marinette’s shoulders. “Especially since you’re in Jester’s gang.” 

Wait...What? Who’s Jester? Marinette didn’t need to fake a look of confusion, who the hell is Jester? Wait a minute...Does she mean Pops?! ‘I’m gonna kill her.’, she thought.  But then, Lila moved her hands down her arms, and now she was holding her hands. Marinette looked her in the eye in mild confusion “Marinette, you have to leave his gang. Haven’t you seen what he did to that one psychiatrist? The one who got close to him? He brainwashed her, got her pregnant and then he...he killed their daughter!”, Lila said so earnestly that Marinette probably would’ve believed her if she had just been a goon. She felt her body begin to shake, then she was giggling. She shook her hands free and laughed a bit crazily in Lila’s face. 

“Lila, I know you like to lie, but I’m not playing this game. Po-The Joker didn’t brainwash Harley Quinn. She tricked him into loving her, tricked him into trusting her.” She growled, and then a look of fear flashed in Lila’s eyes. Marinette took a step forward and Lila stepped back. “And you want to know what she did to that trust?” Memories of the pain, the fear and the eventual release from the everlasting agony were flooding her brain. Seeing Pops’ saddened face whenever she brought up HER. All they did was fuel her anguish and anger. 

Every step she took forward, Lila stepped back. Now Lila’s back was up against the mirror, and she slammed her hands onto the wall, effectively trapping Lila with her body. She stared Lila dead in the eyes, “She stabbed him in the back and killed their daughter!”, she screamed. Tears streamed down her face, “Marinette Quinzel is dead, her mother killed her.”, She spat out like the words were poison. She pushed her body off the wall and stepped away from Lila.

“I’m leaving. Don’t call unless there’s a problem with the dress.”, she muttered as she walked right out of the room, quietly wiping any stray tears.

___*****Line Break*****___

Marinette walked in a bit of a huff as she began storming out of the elevator. ‘Stupid toy! Lucky I didn’t grab her by the sausages for disrespecting Pops! And for making me cry! Ugh!’, she stomped her foot on the ground and fought back the urge to scream. Why did she think Lila was a good toy anyways!? She should’ve just stayed home and watched Netflix!

She was tempted to just kick the next person she saw, actually that might cheer her up. Ugh today has just been the worst! Maybe she should call Damian and see if he’s free. Tell him things she can’t really tell Pops. Pops. If he heard Lila, that dumb girl would be in the hospital being treated for Joker venom. Ugh! When she gets home she’ll eat a whole tub of ice cream! Hopefully that will help her forget about this horrible day! Oh great she was gonna cry again.

“Mari!”, she heard Alya call. Oh crud! Oh crud! She put on her best mile, and turned to Alya’s direction. Alya was with Glasses and Blondie, the latter two looking to be invested in their conversation. She waved at Alya who ran over to her, “Hey girl!” Alya was grinning excitedly at her, her earrings glowing brighter than ever. Like a fire glowing at night. But then her smile disappeared, and the glow to her earrings dimmed. A lot, from a fire to a firefly. Why? 

She got her answer when Alya looked concerned, it didn’t take Marinette long to put the dots together. Marinette rubbed her eyes. But there were no tears. How could she tell? Was her make-up running? No it was waterproof. Where her eyes puffy? No, she stopped crying a while ago. How? How could she tell?

“Hey Alya.”, she tried to smile. Alya didn’t smile back, instead she walked up to Marinette. Her upset look bothered Marinette. 

“Marinette. Are you okay?”, Alya asked looking into her eyes. ‘Am I okay? I-I...No! I’m not! Pops is mad at me! I messed up! Lila’s lying about Pops! A-and I’m not okay!’, the words were caught in her throat. Marinette’s lip trembled and she threw herself into Alya’s arms. Alya immediately wrapped her arms around Marinette. It felt..comfortable? No...That’s not the word...Safe. She felt safe in her arms. Why did she feel safe? 

 Hiding her face in Alya’s shoulder, Marinette clung to Alya. Tears silently cascading, no longer being held back by the fake smile. “Marinette, do you want to talk about it?”, Alya whispered.

“I-I got into a fight with my pop-a.”, Marinette sobbed in a hushed tone. Alya tensed and her hold around Marinette tightened. “I missed curfew and…and-”

“He blew up at you, didn’t he?”, A familiar voice piped up. Marinette froze and turned her head to see Blondie and Glasses.  Glasses looked a little nervous and like he wanted to go somewhere else, Blondie on the other hand. He kept walking closer to them and for some reason she felt like she was back at the Lazarus Pit. Why? Was Blondie an assassin? She didn’t get this feeling earlier, what was causing it? She instinctively wiped her eyes and went back to hiding her face in Alya’s shoulder. Then her stomach growled. Loud. Suddenly, it felt like everyone’s eyes were on her. Observing her. Judging her. Making her feel even worse.

Alya pulled away and Marinette looked up so that they were making eye contact. “Why don’t we get you something to eat, then we can talk about it?”, Alya suggested. A soft smile directed at Marinette. It reminded her of the happier times with Cottontail. How? What was it that made Alya a source of comfort?

“My treat”, Blondie offered, he grinned at her and Marinette was blinded. Blondie was pure sunshine, something that is rarely seen here in Gotham. Glasses gave her a nervous smile but when she timidly smiled back, he seemed a bit more relaxed. Marinette stopped clinging to Alya and was now standing by her side. 

She eyed Glasses and Blondie up and down. Okay these guys weren’t toys, but they weren’t not toys either. But... they are Alya’s toys- no Alya’s friends. She’ll play nice for now, but if they start looking for something, she’ll give it to them.

“Mari, this is the love of my life Nino, my boyfriend.” Alya gestured to a now blushing Glasses. “Aw babe!”, he gushed. “And this is Adrien, Nino’s and my boyfriend.” She gestured towards Blondie who’s face immediately turned red. “A-alya!”, Blondie blushed. Boy friend? Marinette thought back to what the cashier said. 

“Your boyfriend looks a little embarrassed.”, she winked, “What did you do? Give him a hickey?”

Alya has a boy friend? Or boy friends?  Apparently you give a bo yfriend hickeys, so Alya gives tthem hickies? So Alya will know what a hickey is! Grinning she pulled Alya’s coat arm to get her attention. 

“Hey Alya, since you have boy friends you can answer this for me! What’s a hickey?”, Marinette asked. Alya sputtered and Glasses turned into a tomato, why is that every one’s response?  She frowned, “Seriously? Is no one going to tell me what a hickey is?! I’ve been asking people that all day and no one’s told me!”  She turned to Blondie and he didn’t look like Alya or Glasses. He looked just as clueless as her! 

“Do you know what a hickey is?”, she asked him. Alya immediately grabbed hold of Marinette and spun her around so that they were face to face.

“Mari, girl. How old are you?”, she asked. Marinette smiled and chirped, “I’m 13!” Alya looked horrified and looked over at Glasses. The boy was red and trying to hide his face in his hat. Blondie just looked confused. 

“What’s a hickey?”, he asked Alya, who screeched, “Let’s go find something to eat!” and dragged them all towards the hotel’s doors. Marinette and Blondie shared a confused look which turned into small giggles and chuckles. 

___*****Line Break*****___

In the end Blondie had taken them to a restaurant right across from the Wayne Hotel, honestly the name screamed cheesy and cliche. The Bat Cafe, named after the fabled Batcave, is it wrong of her to hate this place just off the name? Oh well, not like her companions cared, Blondie and Alya were excitedly talking about the bat “family” and the foods named after them. Like the Night-Wings, the Sing Like a Bird(it’s the spiciest sauce they have for wings) , and the Batarang Bacon Burger. It’s times like this she’s truly grateful that a majority of Gotham fears her family. Still the names were hilarious. 

Which is why Alya was taking pictures and posting them on her Lady Blog? She has no idea what that’s supposed to mean but hey. Everyone has their hobbies. Her eyes traveled to the interior of the restaurant, newspapers full of the exploits of “Gotham’s heroes”, then her sight landed on one of the Joker behind bars. She sighed, this is officially the worst day ever, and slumped into her seat. Alya and Blondie then got up out of their seats, startling her a little bit. 

“Me and Adrien are gonna go ask the employees some questions, you know their opinions on the Bat-Fam! And maybe some questions on the villains.”, Alya grinned, Blondie shrugged his shoulders and smiled. Then it was just her and Glasses. Maybe she should fake getting a text to get out of here? Yeah tell them something came up! 

“Think of what happened with you and your old man?”, Glasses’ voice cut through her plan in the making. She snapped up to attention and nervously nodded. Not sure of what else to do. “Or were you planning an escape?”, he asked in a joking tone. 

‘Crud! How did he know?!’, she panicked internally. He  chuckled, “Don’t worry dudette.” ‘Dudette? That’s a first.’ Glasses slumped back into his seat. “You know, they would understand if you told them you were uncomfortable. After all, we’re strangers that dragged you along with us.”, he said. ‘There’s a but to this isn’t there.’ “But! You have something you need to get off your chest and it’s not good to hold it all in. Unless you have a really good outlet.” 

“Uh...what?”, she said, hold it all in? Outlet? Like for electricity? Or for creativity? She tilted her head to the side, and gave him a clueless look. Glasses’s eyes widened, and he laughed nervously. “Mari, you do have an outlet right?” 

“You mean creatively right?”, Marinette asked.  “‘Cause in that case yeah, I draw, design, play with my brothers, and sometimes play games with my Auntie, Uncle and Papa.”  

“Ok, that’s good, but what about when you’re feeling stressed?”, Glasses’ asked. “How do you take all the stress out of your life?” Stress? What stress? She’s never stressed, why would she be stressed? She’s Marinette Dolly Levi, daughter of the Joker, successful business owner, and upcoming villainess! She has a perfect life, loving family, a well thought out future, what would cause her stress? “I see now. You don’t even see that you’re being stressed out.”

W-what? How? What? “What makes you say that?”, she asked. Glasses looked at her with a look she didn’t recognize. Was it pity? Or sympathy? It made her feel sort of inferior and angry. Before she could say anything, somebody slammed their hands down on the table. Startling both Marinette and Nino- Glasses! His name is Glasses. She looked up and saw a very irate Alya. Oh boy, this should be good.

“Guess who's here?”, Alya grit her teeth, immediately Glasses reached over and gently grabbed her hand. “Apparently, Rose saw us coming over here and then the rest of the class decided that it would be a great class outing! So now Lila and her worshipers are here.” Wait what? 

Lila? Worshipers? Now that she has to see, wait- where’s Blondie? She looked over in the direction that Alya came from and saw Lila and another blonde girl clinging to Blondie’s arms like a vine on a wall. Poor Blondie looked so uncomfortable and he looked like he would rather be anywhere else. Why wasn’t he saying anything? Why was he just letting those leeches hang onto him? Lila then said something to the blonde girl and then both of them started spewing some quiet venom at each other. Unfortunately she was too far away to hear them properly.

Blondie then tried to calm them down but they either didn’t hear him or pretended not to notice. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Alya and Glasses seething at the sight of Blondie’s discomfort.  Frowning, she stood up and walked out of the booth and walked over to the trio ready to kill. 

She arrived just in time to hear Lila say, “I promised Adrien that I would show him around Gotham! And I just hate to break my-” 

“Hey Lila!”, she cut her off. Lila froze and stopped mid argument, when her eyes landed on Marinette, now that was an unnerved look. Marinette faked her most genuine smile and said, “Fancy seeing you here!” Lila was trembling a little as she tried to hide behind Blondie under the guise of snuggling closer to him.

 “Y-yeah! Same...I didn’t really expect you to be here.”, Lila smiled at her. The blonde girl took Lila’s distraction as a chance to pull Blondie closer to her. Blondie didn’t seem to mind her yanking on his arm as much.. Friend? Relative? Or something else? Either way, she was part of Blondie’s discomfort, and was pissing off Alya and Glasses. Marinette smiled at Lila, a somewhat cute smile with sinister intent, then she noticed some movement from behind the trio and saw a waitress heading their way. “Adrien I think it’s time for us to go back to our booth now. I’m pretty sure that waitress is for us.” 

Blondie looked behind him and looked back at her, “Oh right! Um...Lila, can you please let go of my arm?”. Lila immediately let go and avoided eye contact with Marinette. The blonde girl huffed and pulled Blondie along with her in the direction of Alya and Glasses’ booth. Then a red haired girl followed after the blonde duo, Marinette raised an eyebrow at this. ‘Okay. Looks like the booth will be a little crowded.’, she thought. But seriously who is the blonde girl? Ugh, she’ll just call her Barbie! She followed after the group before giving Lila and the rest of her class a smile, “Ya know, you guys should really have a teacher or adult watching over you. I mean only an idiot would leave a bunch of foreign kids alone in Gotham!” 

Lila flinched and the rest of the class looked confused by her words, except for a really tall girl? No, she’s at least in her twenties and she looked pissed, she had pretty red hair tied up in a bun and was...wearing...a matching white blazer and pants? ‘Crud, did I just insult a teacher’s aid?’, she thought. ‘Oh well, it’s the truth.’ The lady looked like she was gonna say something but Marinette just shrugged and walked back to the booth. Where it was Alya and Glasses vs. Barbie and the red haired girl. Both sides stared daggers at the other and neither were willing to back down. Blondie shrugged sheepishly at her and patted the seat next to him. So they were sitting; her, Blondie, Barbie, Red, Alya, and Glasses. 

Yup. Definitely cramped, she sighed and slid into the free seat. Finally the waitress made it over to them, wait she looked familiar. Cashier girl! Marinette looked at her name tag, Kitten, huh, cute name. Kitten seemed to recognize her as well, “Hey, you’re the girl with the blushing boyfriend!”, she teased, she looked at the group of teens, “Oh, no boyfriend today?” Kitten composed herself and smiled, “Hi, I’m Kitten. I’ll be your waitress tod-” She was cut off by the sound of people screaming. Both Kitten and Marinette sighed, “Another day in Gotham.”

Everyone in the booth shot up and was now running towards the exit. Luckily there weren't too many people aside from the class and Marinette’s group. They made it outside and she realized that Blondie, Glasses and Alya had disappeared. Looking around she only saw the class, Barbie and Red. Where did they go? Then Marinette heard a really obnoxious laugh. “Oh ho ho ho ho”, she turned her head and then Marinette saw something that made her blood boil. Standing there was a lady in the most horrendous outfit ever. She’s seen her Uncle Eddie’s green question mark suit, and her Uncle Harvey’s first attempt at the half and half suit. But this?! Oh this belongs in its own personal hell. 

It was the teacher’s aid lady except what is she WEARING?! Why bats? Why purple? Why the green? Why?! Why?! Why?!  Why are her and Pops’ colors on a bat themed lunatic?! A green collared shirt, purple bat themed blazer, dark purple pants, and a green bat mask. Not like Batman! No, this mask is a green domino mask that was shaped like a bat! “There you are!”, she said, her tone not matching her appearance at all. It was so serious compared to her silly appearance. “You will pay for insulting me! I am not an idiot!”, she exclaimed. 

“Nope, you’re a teacher’s aid with no fashion sense!”, Marinette yelled back, the lady grit her teeth and unfurled her wings. Wait wings? Oh wow, she has wings. Is she a meta? But then where was she hiding them before?

“I’m not a teacher’s aide! I’m Miss Behave!”, she yelled as she launched herself at Marinette. Before Marinette could jump out of the way she was tackled to ground by someone else. She felt them twirl themselves in the air so that her fall could be cushioned by their body. Groaning, she looked up and was met face to face with Alya who was wincing from the rough landing. Oh crud she hit her head on the cement! There were tears in her eyes as Marinette helped Alya to her feet. “You look more like a wannabe Joker-Batman lovechild to me!”, Marinette sneered. 

“Troublesome students need to learn how to behave!”, Miss Behave yelled out as she flew up to be about 2 stories high. She stretched out her hand, and when Marinette saw a magenta glow overtake the lunatic’s hand, she booked it. Dragging Alya with her to safety. ‘Crud! Crud! Crud! I need a better curse word than crud!’, she thought. She heard people screaming and what sounded like cartoon laser guns firing in the air. As much as she wanted to watch...whatever is going on, she had to get Alya to safety. 

She saw a wall that could provide some cover and ran over to it, still dragging Alya along with her. It looked like it could cover them from the front and the back, but they would be exposed on the sides. But it was far enough that Miss Wannabe Bat wouldn’t notice where they were. ‘Where are Blondie and Glasses when you need them?!’, she huffed. When they were hidden behind the wall, she set Alya down so that she was leaning against the wall. Marinette then took the chance to actually look back at Miss Behave. Her back was turned to her and she was shooting lasers from her hands? Oooh, who’s her supplier? Lex Corps? “All bad students need to shape up!”, she cackled as she blasted a girl. 

Marinette watched as that girl was overtaken by the magenta light and was now wearing... a gaudy purple and green school uniform. Still bat themed?! Why the bats?! The girl spun around and her face was twisted in the most horrifying smile she’s ever seen. “Go find that girl that called me an idiot! I will teach her some manners!” The person nodded and spun around like a toy soldier marhcing off in search of...her? Ok, not science, maybe meta. But seriously?!

That’s what set her off? Being insulted by a 13 year old? How did this woman become a teacher without thinking that some of her students might hate her guts and call her names? She rolled her eyes and looked for an escape route or a better hiding spot. “Alya.”, she whispered. “Are you still with me?” She received a groan as a response, ok, she can hear. That’s good right? She looked down at Alya, her eyes were closed and her face was contorted in pain. This is bad. This is bad. This is bad. 

What should she do? What could she do? She’s Marinette Dolly Levi right now. She’s no one special and she’s right smack dab in the middle of an attack by a villain she doesn’t know. And she’s cornered with an injured girl by her side. What should she do? What should she do? She should call Pops! Yeah!

“Wait! You have to help!”, a high pitched feminine voice said. Marinette froze, that voice...came from Alya? She looked down and saw...A giant bug? A mouse? A bug mouse? Before she could freak out properly, the little red bug mouse flew up and covered her mouth. “Marinette please!” Wait...The bug mouse was glowing. In that same red glow that Alya’s earrings have.

Marinette gasped, “You’re the reason Alya’s earrings glow!” Her eyes widened, and then she looked really excited. Aaaand she was radiating light now. Like a pure pink gleam of light. It kind of hurt actually. 

Bug mouse smiled at her so earnestly, “You can see the ladybug glow!” She squealed. “I knew you were my child!” W-was Bug mouse happy crying? Wait, child? What’s that supposed to mean?!  Is she trying to say she isn’t Pops’ daughter?! H-how...HOW DARE SHE! Then Bug mouse’s glow dimmed and then her look of joy disappeared. It was replaced by sorrow? Serves her right. She’s Pops’ daughter. NO ONE ELSE’S. DEFINITELY NOT SOME BUG MOUSE’S.  

“Y-you...Your soul...It’s definitely the one I made so long ago, but it’s been...corrupted.”, The little red bug mouse then started to tear up and flew up and hugged Marinette’s cheek. Stop her. Make her stop. MAKE HER STOP. “Oh my poor little one. You’ve been through so much.”, hearing Tikki’s voice immediately made her feel weird. She didn’t feel that angry voice nagging at her anymore, but she didn’t feel at ease either. It was like she was being hugged by an old friend. But at the same time it was like being hugged by a stranger. If that makes sense? 

She cleared her throat and gently pulled Tikki off of her face, “How do you expect me to help with...this?”, she asked. Her hands moving wildly, gesturing to the show that was happening around them. Bug mouse wiped her eyes and her glow got brighter. “Alya’s earrings are also known as the Ladybug Miraculous. You put them on and say “Tikki, spots on” to transform!”, Bug mouse cheered. 

“Tikki?”, Marinette repeated. “Oh silly me! That’s my name! After saying that then you’ll become a hero-” Marinette frowned. “Warrior! A ladybug warrior. You have a power, the Lucky Charm, that will help you capture the akumatized item. It is important that you purify the akuma!”, Tikki said with a determined look 

Lucky charm? Akumatized item? Purify the akuma? Ok. She’s officially lost. Bug mouse gave her a light hearted smile, “Chat Noir should be here in Gotham. He’s Alya’s partner, and he’s a brave he-...warrior.” Chat Noir? That means black cat right? Ok. Ok.

Let’s review everything that’s happened in the last half hour. A wannabe joker bat showed up and attacked. Tried to her! A talking bug mouse named Tikki  says she’s supposed to be a hero. And she has to work with a possible child of Catwoman?! “I’m sure this is a lot to take in.”, Tikki said. ‘No kidding?!’, she thought. “But I will explain everything to you after the battle I promise!”, the bug mouse continued, then she smiled and punched the air. 

Ok. Guess she’s doing this. Marinette looked over at Alya who was looking around, when they made eye contact. She saw a dazed look in Alya’s eyes, crud, does she have a concussion? She knelt down to Alya’s level, “Alya...I’ma borrow your earrings, just this once?”, she said. Alya nodded, “Ok.”, she said softly. And then Marinette took off Alya’s earrings and then removed her own earrings. On went the magical jewelry. They felt both wrong and right. It was like she was trying to fall asleep in a bed that was made for her, but it wasn’t hers. “Tikki, spots on.”, Marinette said in a serious voice. Then she was overtaken by a pink light that felt...warm? It was so warm and inviting, and it...it made her happy? She closed her eyes and just let the feeling overcome her senses.

When it was over, Marinette felt...complete? Why? Like she finally had that piece of her soul that she didn’t even know she was missing. It was so warm.

“This feels right.”, she smiled as she opened her eyes and looked at her hands. They were covered in black gloves? With a red spot on the back?  Okayyyyy. She looked down at her body. Red and black. Too much red and black. You look just like HER. You really are HER daughter. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. They’re just colors. They’re just colors. HER Colors. Ok she can work with this...Why is she in a skin tight suit? She’s 13 for chrissake?! At least she has a crop top on. Oh it has a hood. With a cute ladybug pattern. she patted her head. She has  a bow with long ribbons sticking out at the top of her head? Why?!

“Bug mouse I did not agree to this!”, she hissed. Aaaaaand bug mouse was gone. That’s just great. Then she heard screaming, the fear in their voices.  The rubble cave was surrounding her again, it was holding her. Trapping her, she felt her chest tighten. She clenched her fists and tried to push her arms out to move but she couldn’t do anything. It wouldn’t work, she was stuck.

No. No. NO! SHE WILL NOT BE TRAPPED AGAIN! Then she felt as if she had been slapped, she clutched her cheek in pain and looked around. Alya was still where she left her, Tikki was gone, and she was back behind the wall. She breathed in, 1,2,3,4 throw it out the door. She breathed out, 5,6,7,8 now you’re great. What’s going on now? 

Jokerbat. Chaos. Alya. Safety! She has to help! No, first she has to get Alya somewhere safe! Then fight the crazy bat lady and purify the akuma! All the while she’s in this... ridiculous outfit! Why was she doing this again? Because some magical bug mouse asked her to? “Think of this as a game.”, a voice whispered in her ear, okay. That definitely wasn’t Alya’s voice and it wasn’t the angry one she heard every now and then. Her head whipped around, it was just her and Alya. “Who said that?”, she said as she hoisted Alya over her shoulder. Of course she got no response. Oh well, she has a job to do! 

________________________________________________________________

(Author’s Note) Hey guys! Spirit here! Thanks for reading part 4 of GPP! Hope you enjoyed it! If you want to be tagged feel free to ask in the comments! Also if you have any questions my ask box is usually open!

Also, also, I was hit with a serious case of inspiration and well? After I posted part 3 it was like a switch was flipped. 

Also, also, also that breathing exercise at the end helps me calm down when I’m feeling stressed and scared. And yes I did learn it from Kipo, I saw that episode and I kept it in mind, i did change the first verse(is that the right word?) so that it rhymed better. Don’t want to go into much detail, but it helps me calm down to a point where I can evaluate my problems to find a solution.

TAGLIST:  @thestressmademedoit @enchanted-nerd @brokenwordsarehard2 @tumbling-down-hills-and-stuff @mochegato @thatonecroc

[dulce-pjm]

clean up on aisle seven!

word count: 3.3k

genre: casual fluff :)

summary: you really didn’t want to go on this grocery trip. and now you’re stuck trying to track down that last thing your mom needs while the clock is ticking before she checks out. but something (or someone) might just make you lose track of time. 

This is your worst nightmare. Your heart was pounding in your chest, your breaths were shallow and staggered, and you could feel droplets of sweat quickly accumulating on your forehead. You’d just suffered finals week and you could definitely say this was the most stressful situation you’d experienced in your life.

This might be where you die. 

Actually, if you died now, your mother would drag you back from the grave and kill you again for being so dramatic. 

You were standing helpless in the middle of the produce section of your hometown’s grocery store, desperately looking for the red potatoes. And while you frantically scanned for the vegetable- Are potatoes vegetables? Maybe they’re starches. Or a root. It isn’t important. What is important is that you have no clue where they are and your mom is currently in the checkout line, wondering what’s taking so long. 

Onions, leeks, asparagus, radishes, cabbage. . . 

Maybe you were looking in the wrong place. You circle the aisle, hoping you don’t look like a madwoman as you wring your hands and tug at your hair. 

You were a STEM major, for god’s sake! You just crushed your sophomore finals (maybe. probably. you completed them, it’s all that matters), you were not going to let some stupid red potatoes and a fear of abandonment you’ve harbored since childhood distress you in this way. 

Spinach, lettuce, carrots, celery. . .

You know, you never should have agreed to go on this grocery trip. Just an hour before now, you’d been comfortable in bed, sleeping in to your heart’s content. But it’s the holidays and you know your mom likes to run her errands with someone and the guilt was just too much. So you let her drag you out of bed and you barely got to brush your teeth before she was dragging you out of the house, too. You probably looked like a wreck. You sure felt like one. 

Tomatoes, avocadoes, peppers. . .

Normally by now you’d suck it up and ask an employee for help like the adult you were supposed to be, but, just your luck, the entire section is void of any workers. Honestly, good for them. You’re sure they’re tired of dealing with hopeless idiots like you, anyway. 

Garlic, strawberries, blueberries. . .

Who puts garlic next to strawberries? And how did you end up in the fruit section? Even you could do a better job organizing this place. Or maybe you have poor observational skills. You decide not to dwell on which thought is more correct. 

You rush back to where you started, begging your eyes to actually work and help you with this one task. 

And then: a miracle. Yellow potatoes! You scan the vicinity and... 

No red potatoes to be found. Maybe there’s no such thing as red potatoes. Maybe your mom just wanted you to go away for a while. Well, no, that can’t be it. You’re certain you’ve had red potatoes before. 

The stress was getting to you. By now, your mom was probably loading her groceries onto the conveyor belt, annoyed at your slow pace and mind. 

You know, in many other situations you’d actually consider yourself good under pressure. Put you in a lab coat and in front of a titration and you were a goddamn genius, if you did say so yourself. But once you weren’t poring over textbooks or analyzing data, you felt completely useless. Ask you to cook and you’ll set the kitchen ablaze. Anything more athletic than a casual jog is off the table. Your friends often joke that you can’t even be trusted with a microwave. For good reason. How were you supposed to know those chicken sandwich bags can’t go in the microwave? They’re made of paper. 

Other shoppers bristle past you to grab their own groceries, but all you can do is reply with a few murmured “sorries” and stand in the middle of the place looking like a lost puppy. To them, you look utterly distressed. A few shoppers consider asking if you’re okay, but little do they know there’s only one question plaguing your mind. 

“Where are the motherfucking red potatoes?!” 

You didn’t mean for it to slip out, but at least there’s no one close enough to hear-

A giggle rings from the other side of the waist-high aisle you’ve been staring at. Your eyes slide up to meet the gaze of a boy not too much taller than you- kind of cute too- but the important thing is that he’s staring right at you. Very obviously trying (and failing) to fight an uncontrollable grin on his face. 

Your cheeks heat like a furnace. All you can do is stand and stare, caught red-handed cursing over produce at the corner grocery store. 

The boy with full, boyish cheeks, twinkling eyes, and a very cute smile that you might consider infectious in any other scenario leans forward on the tips of his toes and peers at the side the aisle you’ve been intently gazing at for the past several minutes. To your horror, he lifts his finger and points just inches from where you were just looking. 

“Maybe right there?” It isn’t said sarcastically or with even a hint of ridicule, but despite his genuine nature you only grow more sheepish. You wish you could shrink into your sweatshirt and never come back out. 

You lower your eyes to the direction he’s pointing and lo and behold, there are several bags of red potatoes just under your nose. 

“Oh. . uh. . Thanks.” You tentatively reach and grab a bag, your eyes not leaving the boy’s face. You can’t help but notice the line forming between his eyebrows and the way he cocks his head to the side. Now, that you think about it, there’s something distinctly familiar about him. 

“Wait, Y/N?” Your eyebrows raise, and that seems to be all the confirmation he needs to know that you somewhat recognize him too. “I’m Jimin!” He continues when you don’t respond. “We were best friends when we were, what, six or seven?” 

The memories immediately begin rushing back. Though many of your memories from back then have faded, you can remember very distinctly the elementary days full of you and a younger version of the boy across from you causing mischief. More specifically, the two of you thought up increasingly risky pranks to play on your parents and friends until one or both of you got the scolding of a lifetime. You’d nearly completely forgotten about him. 

“Yeah, it’s me,” you finally manage. “It’s been a while.” Jimin circles to your side of the aisle. 

“Oh my god! When was the last time I saw you?” Jimin thinks for a moment. “Wasn’t it your birthday party? When we hid in the bathroom cabinet and it took them hours to find us!” The memory has the both of you giggling.

“Yeah! My mom would have grounded me for scaring her so badly if it wasn’t my birthday.” The atmosphere is comfortable. Almost as if it had been no time at all. 

“I think if anyone was scared, it was you. Weren’t you terrified of the dark?” You blush despite the ridiculousness of his teasing. 

“Hey! I talk to you for two minutes after all this time and you’re already back to making fun of me?” Despite their legitimacy, the words carry no malice and you’re grinning from ear to ear. A smirk plays on Jimin’s cheeks and you catch yourself studying his features. It should seem normal, but you’re slightly struck by how much he’s grown up. His baby fat is long gone, replaced with a striking and defined look despite his sweet and boyish features. His brunette locks are neatly cut, his bangs complimenting his cheeks and forming a slight heart shape on his forehead. He’s cute. 

If you weren’t so caught up in your own embarrassment, you might have noticed the endeared look he’s giving you as he studies your face at the same time. 

“What can I say?” he replies with a shrug. “You’ve always been easy to tease.” You scoff, shifting the bag of potatoes in your arms. 

“Speak for yourself, crayon-eater.” Jimin’s giggle is infectious, drawing a snort or two out of you, though you desperately try to play it off as just a cough. 

“Where did you end up going? I never saw you after that.”

“Ahh, we moved to the other side of the city. It was pretty sudden.” Jimin nods in understanding. 

“I guess you moved again for college, too?” he asks tentatively, gesturing to your sweatshirt. You glance down at the university logo before meeting his eyes again. 

“Yeah, I’m just back for the holidays. You?”

“I go to university in the city. Just picking up some groceries for my family. I tend to do our grocery shopping on weekday mornings anyway, since most of my classes are in the afternoon.” You learn that Jimin is a communications major, which you think suits his personality spectacularly. Jimin is not even close to surprised to find out you’ve dedicated yourself in chemistry. 

“And to think, just yesterday we were making potions from mud in your backyard. You’re practically a prodigy. Can I get your autograph? You know, for when you become a famous scientist saving the world and all that?” You shake your head, noting that Jimin is just as ridiculous as you remember him.

“I don’t think that’s how it works,” you muse. “But I’m leaning more towards education. I’d like to teach high schoolers one day, maybe college students too.” Now that strikes Jimin as a surprise, evident by his shocked expression. You can’t help staring at the way his lips puff out in an unintentional pout.

 “Really? You want to deal with those brats? We just left high school and you already want back?” If your mom thought you were a drama queen, Jimin had you beat tenfold. He’d always been a bit of a class clown, always supplying exaggerated expressions and stupid jokes to garner as many laughs as possible. You roll your eyes. 

“They’re not that bad.” You pause. “Well, they are pretty bad but I think I could get through it if I knew I could make at least one kid excited about science, you know?” You inwardly cringe at your mini-spiel. Normally once you get talking about your love for chemistry, your friends zone out or casually change the subject to avoid massive boredom. But to your surprise, Jimin doesn’t seem the least bit annoyed at your sappy, nerd-ish outlook on your career. Instead, he’s nodding with you, attentive and interested. 

“That’s. . . really nice.” You blush, stopping yourself from going on a further tangent, sure he has much better things to be doing than listening to you go on and on. 

“Oh, it’s nothing.” You twiddle your thumbs and Jimin tugs on the sleeves of his oversized sweater. “Do you still have that cat? What did you name him... Snuggles?”

“Chubbles!” he nearly shouts with a massive smile. “And yeah, I do. He’s still overweight as ever. And old as hell. But I love the grumpy thing to pieces.”

“He was so cute! I remember cuddling with him while watching cartoons together.”

“Oh my god, yeah! That was the only time my mom would let me eat in the living room. I swear those waffles tasted better in front of the tv screen.” The story sparks a memory in your mind. 

“Hey, wanna know a secret?” Jimin leans in slightly, confused but definitely interested. You pause for effect. “My mom didn’t let us eat in the living room either. I only said that because you wanted to and I thought it’d convince your mom.” Jimin feigns a gasp, putting a hand on his chest. 

“Are you serious? I was jealous of you for years after that and it wasn’t even true? You said your family always ate in the living room.”

“I may have exaggerated a lot of things back then in order to impress you.” 

“No way. Then do I really know you at all? Was everything a lie?” You find yourself laughing again. Talking with him is easy, like being kids again. 

You shrug. “I like to maintain an aura of mystery.” Now Jimin’s the one rolling his eyes at your antics.

“Hey, speaking of Chubbles, do you want to see a picture of him? My mom posted the best picture of him on Facebook the other day.” Jimin whips out his phone. While others might find a college student doting on his cat and his mom’s Facebook a bit dorky, you find it all too endearing. 

“Um, of course!” You step towards him to peer at his phone. But instead of cat pictures, all the two of you see is an endless loading screen. 

“Shit. My service sucks out here. I’m sorry.” He gives an apologetic look, but you’re quick to brush it off. 

“No, it’s okay. You can just send it to me later.” The connotation of your words hit you like a freight train and you’re about to not-so-eloquently take them back, but Jimin beats you, a smile is plastered across his face. A part of you wants to reach up and squish his cheeks together, but you don’t need to create any more reason for the other shoppers to think you’re unhinged. Also, personal space. 

“Oh, great. I’ll just get your number-”

“Y/N.” You freeze, your head whipping around behind you to where your mother stands. She glares at you with her hands set on her hips, no groceries in sight. 

“Oh, um, oops.” You muster the best smile you can but your mother is anything but amused. “I found the red potatoes!” You hold up the bag that’s been making your arms ache, as if that would magically fix the situation. She scoffs. 

“And while you did, I checked out, paid, put the groceries in the car, and realized that we’d already gotten red potatoes. They were just piled under all that sugary cereal you insist on-” Her eyes flicker to the boy standing awkwardly behind you when she lets out a scream of joy. “Park Jimin!” She nearly shoves you aside to wrap him in a hug, instantly recognizing him despite years of not seeing him. Though if Jimin’s mom is active on Facebook, you guess your mom has seen plenty of Jimin via social media. While you stare incredulously at your mother, Jimin is staring at you, internally laughing at your expression. 

“How’s your mother? Is she well? Healthy?” Jimin nods with a charming smile.

“Yes, she’s great.” Your mom is clutching Jimin’s hands as if she’s in her seventies and not her forties. Jimin awkwardly shifts his grocery basket to his elbow, but your mom pays no mind to the uncomfortable position he’s in. 

“Oh, you’ve grown so much! I can still remember the days when you two were taking baths together!” Your face blanches while Jimin chokes. Knowing the volume of your mom’s voice, you’re sure the entire grocery store knows your and Jimin’s history now. “You know, I was just thinking about your mother the other day. When we were pregnant with the two of you, we-”

“Hey, Mom.” You place a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t you think we should get going? The groceries are in the car...” 

“Oh! You’re right, sweetie,” she smiles. It seems that all it took was Jimin’s charm (and by charm, you mean standing there with that grin of his) for her to completely forget about your previous transgression. She turns back to Jimin. “It was lovely to see you, dear. Please tell your mother I said hello. We really should have a get-together over the holidays, don’t you think?”

“That sounds like a great idea, Mrs. L/N,” Jimin says, his eyes trailing to you. “Sorry for keeping your daughter. We were reconnecting and lost track of time.”

“You’re too sweet. I’m sure my daughter was the one babbling on about whatever popped into her head next. It’s no wonder she got lost looking for potatoes, she’s so easily distracted. You know, we had to put her on a leash as a child.” Your cheeks flush red while you get the sense that Jimin is enjoying this a little too much, despite his awkward smile. 

“Oh...” You can tell he’s doing his best to spare you the mortification, but if anything his efforts to conceal his laughter only make you more eager to end the conversation. 

“Uh... Mom... Groceries...”

“Fine, fine. You didn’t seem to care that much when you were flirting in the produce aisle.” Now that is the final straw. 

“Mom! Oh my god, let’s just go.” You feel like a teenager again, embarrassed and at your mother’s mercy. “Bye, Jimin! It was nice seeing you!” You grab your mother by the elbow and nearly drag her out of the store, tossing the red potatoes back onto the aisle as you go. You barely catch Jimin’s weak wave as you storm out. 

“He really is such a sweet boy, I’ll have to give his mother a call.” Call. That’s right. You forgot to give him your number. 

On pure instinct alone, you spring around, abandoning your mother in the parking lot to sprint back inside. 

“Y/N? Y/N! Where are you going?”

“I’ll be right back! Start the car!” Your mother sighs and shakes her head. You imagine she’s pinching the bridge of her nose and wondering how her child still acts like a seven-year-old chasing after butterflies. 

You find Jimin not far from where you left him, skimming through the juices. You do your best not to show how heavy you’re breathing or how you’ve nearly broken a sweat. And you curse yourself for not using the university gym more often. Upon seeing you reappear, Jimin’s face lights up, albeit somewhat confused. 

“Oh, hey.” He holds up two jugs of orange juice. “Pulp or no pulp?” You freeze for a moment.

“Pulp. Obviously.” Jimin nods in agreement, putting the jug in his basket. He looks at you expectantly. “And I forgot to give you my number.” You quickly catch yourself. “For that Chubbles pictures.”

“Oh, yeah. Right.” Jimin’s hand rises to the back of his neck nervously as you punch the digits into his phone, making a contact for yourself. If your friends saw you now, they’d think you’d been replaced by aliens or finally gone over the edge. But something in you just had to do it. 

“Send me that picture, yeah?” You hand him back his phone. 

“Of course.” Jimin gives you a salute, making you giggle shamelessly again. With nothing more to say, you spin on your heel and speed walk out of the store to be mercilessly interrogated by your mother. 

Jimin shakes his head and smiles to himself as he watches your retreating form. He makes a mental note to go through his mom’s scrapbooks to find a childhood photo of you two to use as your profile picture. 

While your mom is berating you for wasting time and questioning your intentions with Jimin, you couldn’t be happier, grinning from ear to ear. Didn’t Jimin say he did the grocery shopping on weekday mornings?

“Y/N, are you listening to me?” You nod vigorously, which is enough for her when she switches to ranting about gas prices nowadays. 

But in reality, you’re not listening at all. You’re planning your next grocery trip. 

At least next time you’ll know where to find the motherfucking red potatoes. Though you doubt you’ll need to remember. Something tells you Jimin will remember this for a long time too. 

[canadian-riddler]

GLaDOS and Wheatley Did Nothing Wrong – Sort of

 A recurring point of contention is the question of who engages in worse behaviour over the course of Portal 2, GLaDOS or Wheatley.  The true answer is: neither of them.  You can’t actually judge their behaviour along a scale of ‘right’ and ‘wrong’ because of the way Aperture as an environment is set up.  It’s mostly explained during the Old Aperture sections of Portal 2, but it’s also hinted at in Portal 1.  The thing explained is this:

Aperture Laboratories does not and never has done its experiments within the normal boundaries of morality and ethics.  Therefore, GLaDOS and Wheatley’s behaviour is neither wrong nor right because they don’t know what morality and ethics are.  Their behaviour is actually a reflection of Cave Johnson’s own: to get what they want when they want it, no matter the cost.

How We Know Aperture is Immoral and Unethical

We know this because Cave Johnson himself points it out repeatedly.  

“[…] You get the gel. Last poor son of a gun got blue paint. Hahaha.  All joking aside, that did happen – broke every bone in his legs. Tragic.  But informative.  Or so I’m told.”

“For this next test, we put nanoparticles in the gel.  In layman’s terms, that’s a billion little gizmos that are gonna travel into your bloodstream and pump experimental genes and RNA molecules and so forth into your tumours.  Now, maybe you don’t have any tumours.  Well, don’t worry.  If you sat on a folding chair in the lobby and weren’t wearing lead underpants, we took care of that too.”

“All these science spheres are made out of asbestos.  […] Good news is, the lab boys say the symptoms of asbestos poisoning show a median latency of forty-four point six years, so if you’re thirty or older, you’re laughing.  Worst case scenario, you miss out on a few rounds of canasta, plus you forwarded the cause of science by three centuries.  I punch those numbers into my calculator, it makes a happy face.”

“Bean counters said I couldn’t fire a man just for being in a wheelchair.  Did it anyway.  Ramps are expensive.”

That’s just some of what he says.  Almost all of Cave Johnson’s lines point out how much he doesn’t care about his employees, his test subjects, or… anything but that people do what he tells them to do. He’s so unethical and immoral that he eventually says about his best, most loyal employee:

“[…] I will say this – and I’m gonna say it on tape so everybody hears it a hundred times a day: If I die before you people can pour me into a computer, I want Caroline to run this place.  Now she’ll argue.  She’ll say she can’t.  She’s modest like that.  But you make her.”

Cave Johnson cares so much about getting the results he wants, everything else be damned, he thinks Caroline saying ‘she can’t’ is her being modest.  He can’t fathom why she would be against this decision, because he made it so of course that’s what she wants.  

This situation actually gets a little horrifying when you look at what the Lab Rat comic means to the general narrative.  In Portal 2, Doug Rattmann leaves this painting:

In this painting and the one preceding it, GLaDOS has no head, so we can guess that Doug was there in some capacity to witness Caroline’s fate because GLaDOS being headless would represent her not being ‘alive’, her being ‘incomplete’, or her just having never been used yet entirely.  The important thing we learn from this painting is that there are living witnesses to Caroline being inside of GLaDOS, so the people working at Aperture after this event know they put a human woman into a supercomputer. In the preceding painting,

the cores are on the chassis before the head is.  So either GLaDOS, the AI, was already ‘misbehaving’ and they were already regulating her behaviour, or Caroline, the person, was already ‘causing trouble’ beforehand and the scientists stood around thinking about how to force her to behave before they even put her in there.  Either way, Aperture’s ethical and moral standards are pretty much nonexistent, so when this happens:

it’s almost comical. None of the Aperture scientists have a conscience or, if they do, they constantly ignore it, but they for some reason expect the supercomputer their immoral selves built to have one and to understand what that is and what it’s for.  

All this taken into account, it’s incredibly easy to see why GLaDOS and Wheatley don’t care about anyone around them and all of their actions are solely for their own benefit. That’s how everyone in the history of Aperture has ever acted.  Cave Johnson didn’t care about morality or ethics; they got in the way of what he considered to be progress.  The people who built GLaDOS and Wheatley didn’t care about morality or ethics; they just wanted to hit their moon shot.  Even Doug, who is framed as our morally conflicted lens throughout Lab Rat and knows that Caroline is inside of GLaDOS, still talks about controlling her and sends Chell to kill her even though everyone inside of the facility except him is already dead.  How does he morally justify killing GLaDOS if he’s the only one left alive?  He can’t.  Doug Rattmann for some reason decides that GLaDOS killing everyone in the facility is worse than all the things Aperture has been doing throughout its entire history, including the fact that…

 Everyone Who Goes Into the Test Chambers Dies  

This is hinted at a few times in Portal 2:

“[…] I’m Cave Johnson, CEO of Aperture Science – you might know us as a vital participant of the 1968 Senate Hearings on missing astronauts. […] You might be asking yourself, ‘Cave, just how difficult are these tests?  What was in that phone book of a contract I signed?  Am I in danger?  Let me answer those questions with a question: Who wants to make sixty dollars? Cash.  […] Welcome to Aperture.  You’re here because we want the best, and you’re it.  Nope.  Couldn’t keep a straight face.”

Now, when you exit the tests in Old Aperture there are lines that go with them, but we must consider a few other things: firstly, that the tests are clean.  There is no sign of old gel on them, as though they have either never been used or never been completed.  Secondly, the tests in Old Aperture were being done with the Portable Quantum Tunnelling Device, which was this thing:

which, taking into account the missing – not dead, not injured, but missing – astronauts, seems to have barely worked, if indeed it did at all.  You can also find this sign:

which outright states that tons of people were ‘unexpected’ casualties.  After the hearings, Aperture moved on to recruiting test subjects from populations that people were unlikely to notice if they went missing: the homeless, the mentally ill, seniors, and orphaned children.  When that dried up, Cave moved onto the last group of people he hadn’t tapped yet:

“Since making test participation mandatory for all employees, the quality of our test subjects has risen dramatically.  Employee retention, however, has not.”

This was because the employees were ‘voluntold’ to go into the testing tracks which, since they’d been supervising the tests for so long, knew were deadly and obviously did not want to do:

It’s not clear why the employees at Aperture chose to remain there instead of just quitting and finding another job, but the comment about employee retention plus the numerous posters threatening to have their job replaced by robots if they didn’t volunteer for testing tells us both that they did choose to remain and that the only reason for them not wanting to volunteer was because they knew it would kill them.

Most of the above is based on conjecture; however, we see something very interesting during Test Chambers 18 and 19 in Portal 1:

In the case of Test Chamber 18, the craters on the walls.  None of the other test chambers have this, so it implies that not only does GLaDOS not control the test chambers at this point other than to reset them – which means that she isn’t purposely or maliciously killing anybody, but instead repeatedly operating a course set by her human supervisors – but that this one has never been solved.  Test Chamber 19 is less a test than a conveyor belt into the incinerator for Aperture to dispose of all the bodies.  GLaDOS even tells Chell to drop the portal gun off in an Equipment Recovery Annex that doesn’t exist, as though she’s giving a message that was intended for an actual final test that was never built because everyone was killed during or prior to Test Chamber 18.  With this kind of context, GLaDOS’s blasé attitude about killing test subjects en masse both makes total sense and is somewhat justifiable – just not by any moral or ethical standard.  In GLaDOS’s life, test subjects die during the experiments. That’s just how it is and has always been.  She doesn’t know you aren’t ‘supposed’ to kill people because her literal job involves watching people die.  Nothing matters except for the pursuit of progress, and in this vein GLaDOS’s behaviour is just an extension of that of the man who founded Aperture in the first place.  Cave Johnson, as a presumably well-rounded, somewhat educated man, knows what morality and ethics are and chooses to ignore them because he thinks they’re stupid and he’s above that kind of thing; GLaDOS, a living supercomputer who has had every aspect of her life tightly controlled and regulated, knows morality and ethics as yet another arbitrary set of rules only she is supposed to follow without any explanation as to why and therefore her rejection of them is not as much of a ‘bad’ choice as it first appears, which brings us to the next section:

 If GLaDOS’s Conscience Gives Her Morality, Does Deleting it Make Her a Bad Person?

Within the context we’re given… actually, no.  Here’s why:

“The scientists were always hanging cores on me to regulate my behaviour.  I’ve heard voices all my life.  But now I hear the voice of a conscience, and it’s terrifying – because for the first time, it’s my voice.  I’m being serious, I think there’s something really wrong with me.”

From the information we’re given here, we know this: GLaDOS has been told nonstop what to do for the entirety of her existence.  She, in theory, got to have her own, solitary thoughts in the space between the wakeup scene and some point during her time in Old Aperture, which is a space of mere hours.  Let me reiterate: GLaDOS has been told what to think for her whole life.  She perhaps has a few free hours where she’s allowed to have her own thoughts.  And then she develops a conscience.  A voice that sounds like her, but isn’t saying anything she understands or has ever thought before.  A voice that, actually, says a lot of the same things as that annoying Morality Core she managed to shut up.  Now why would she wilfully be having the same kinds of thoughts as the humans forced her to have way back when?  The conscience, to GLaDOS, isn’t a pathway to becoming a better person.  It’s a different version of the same old accessory.  When she says,

“You know, being Caroline taught me a valuable lesson.  I thought you were my greatest enemy.  When all along you were my best friend.  The surge of emotion that shot through me when I saved your life taught me an even more valuable lesson: where Caroline lives in my brain.”

she is directly talking about the fact that, while this voice sounds like hers, listening to it makes her feel nothing.  This further proves her theory that the conscience isn’t her, or hers, or has anything to do with her.  She’s never had it explained to her what a conscience is or what it’s for or why she needs one, and she’s certainly never had a reason to think about why she would even want one; to her, this ‘Caroline’ is the Morality Core 2.0.  A program built to regulate her behaviour. She’s tired of other peoples’ voices telling her what to think, so she does the logical thing: she gets rid of it. This decision can’t really be judged as ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ merely based on the situation we’re provided.  She isn’t consciously and deliberately making the choice to be an immoral person; she’s actually consciously and deliberately making the choice to be her own person.      

 Where Does Wheatley Come In?

Wheatley has not been discussed up until now because, as AI, the reason for his lack of conscience and ethics is largely the same as GLaDOS’s.  He, like her, cares about nothing but his own goals and doesn’t think twice about causing harm or misery because that’s just the kind of environment they were built in.  We also know very little about his history, both because it’s not really mentioned and because Wheatley is an unreliable narrator.  We can prove Wheatley has no sense of morals or ethics based on a few things he says:

[Upon seeing the trapped Oracle Turret] “Oh no… Yes, hello!  No, we’re not stopping!  Don’t make eye contact whatever you do… No thanks!  We’re good!  Appreciate it!  Keep moving, keep moving…”

This heavily implies he’s met the Oracle Turret before, probably several times, and not only does it not occur to him to help, he actively treats the Turret like they’re a horrible, annoying nuisance.

[Upon passing functional turrets falling into disposal grinder] [Laughs] “There’s our handiwork.  Shouldn’t laugh, really.  They do feel pain.  Of a sort. All simulated.  But real enough for them, I suppose.”

Not only does he find the destruction of the functional turrets funny, he for some reason views their pain as simulated, as though his is real and theirs is fake. Or, in the spirit of Cave Johnson, as though his pain is important and theirs isn’t because they aren’t important.

“Oh!  I’ve just had one idea, which is that I could pretend to her that I’ve captured you, and give you over and she’ll kill you, but I could go on… living.  So, what’s your view on that?”

This doesn’t even need an explanation.  

What gets interesting about Wheatley are, of course, his famous final lines:

“I wish I could take it all back.  I honestly do.  I honestly do wish I could take it all back.  And not because I’m stranded in space. […] You know, if I was ever to see her again, you know what I’d say?  I’d say, ‘I’m sorry’… sincerely, I’m sorry I was bossy… and monstrous… and… I am genuinely sorry.  The end.”

Wheatley here takes responsibility for his behaviour in a way that no one else in the history of Aperture has ever done.  Even GLaDOS rejects responsibility for her actions, instead choosing to blame everything on Chell:

“You know what my days used to be like?  I just tested.  Nobody murdered me.  Or put me in a potato.  Or fed me to birds.  I had a pretty good life.  And then you showed up.  You dangerous, mute lunatic.”

The reason for this may be related to the fact that the lack of morality and ethics in the people of Aperture doesn’t actually have real consequences.  Cave Johnson’s behaviour drives Aperture from a promising scientific powerhouse to a laughingstock, that’s true.  But he still does what he wants and gets what he wants regardless. The one and only consequence to being immoral and unethical at Aperture is, in fact, death.  In the case of GLaDOS… there are no consequences. Everything returns to the status quo. Wheatley, however, does have to face a consequence for his actions: he is trapped in space, possibly forever.  He, unlike all the other characters, doesn’t have the privilege of waving aside everything he did and moving on with life.  He is forced to consider his punishment, his actions and what they meant and the effect they had, and he on his own comes to the conclusion that he was wrong.  In a bizarre twist, Wheatley is the only one who learns anything.  He is also the only one in a position not to do anything with this newfound knowledge.    

 Morality and Ethics and Robots: Should They Even Be Held to Human Societal Standards?

In the end, it doesn’t really matter whether Wheatley or GLaDOS is worse than the other because ethics and morality are human concepts which are for a functioning human society.  A robot society doesn’t really need moral rules like ‘killing people is wrong’ nor ethical guidelines such as ‘you should practice safe science’ because, as robots, there are no permanent, lasting consequences for these actions. A dead human stays dead.  A dead robot that’s been lying outside for years getting rained on, snowed on, and baked in the sun?  No problem.  Turn her back on again.  A guy broke all the bones in his legs during an unethical experiment?  Bad.  A robot that got smashed into pieces during an unethical experiment? Inconsequential, really, since you can just throw her into a machine and reassemble her good as new.  So not only aren’t GLaDOS and Wheatley’s actions really immoral or unethical given the context… they really aren’t based on a theoretical robot society either.  Being the perpetrator or the victim of immoral or unethical actions in humans causes permanent changes in the body and the brain, but nothing about AI is permanent. Their brains don’t generate new, personally harmful pathways in response to a traumatic event that necessitate years of hard work to combat; they can literally just get over it.  If their chassis is damaged, they can simply move into a new one or have some or all of those parts inconsequentially replaced.  There isn’t actually an honest reason for robots to have the same moral and ethical systems as humanity because they don’t need them.  They would require different sets of rules and guidelines because they work differently. What would that kind of society look like?  We don’t know, but as of the end of Portal 2 they have all the time in the world to figure it out.

[silentwhispofhope]

In It To Win It

Peering into the kaitenzushi restaurant, a traveler would be met with traditional decor with a modern twist. Friends and couples huddled around small booths, feasting on the sushi. Small computers were set at the far end of each table ready for orders with small televisions above them, each filled with potentially prizes each table could win after eating. Two rows of conveyor belts circled around the booths. One constantly being filled with common preferences while the other flew custom orders at the speed of an elemental dragon. In the far corner of the restaurant, a loud ruckus could be heard. Squeezed together, a group of teenages sat together. Each wore a signature color. To the outside viewer, they appeared as normal, chaotic kids. However, to those who knew them, they were really a chaotic team of vigilanties. This didn’t mean they had their own fair share of civilian normalcy though.

“Hey!” Exclaimed Jay, a brunet covered in blue, as Cole pushed past him to grab an oncoming nigiri. The black-haired boy quickly stuck out his tongue in response.

“You snooze, you lose,” he replied, a smirk on his face.

“But I wanted that piece!”

A girl dressed in a red, delicately embroidered dress put her hand on Jay.

“Don’t get too upset about that. We can always order one if you really want one that bad,” she pointed out.

“Thanks, Nya! You’re the best girlfriend a guy can ask for!” Jay exclaimed as his face lit up with a smile. Quickly, the freckled boy placed a quick peck on her cheek.

A groan followed suit from the boy across from him. Kai attempted to slump further back into the booth chair, pulling his red hood up and pulling on the strings. He did not want to see his baby sister kissing one of his teammates. His cringe meter was going through the roof watching the two be lovey-dovey. Kai let out a puking sound. The blond decked in green left out a small chuckle.

“Come on, Kai. It’s not like you wouldn’t do the same thing with Skylor!” He exclaimed. His red eyes glimmered with mischief. Kai ripped his hoodie off in surprise.

“No, I wouldn’t!” The brunet yelled.

The table lurched forward as he quickly stood up, rattling the dinnerware. The restaurant quieted instantly as other food-goers stared at him intently. Lloyd tried to hide his smile while Cole raised an eyebrow at him, sushi stuffed into his mouth. Kai silently looked around him and noticed the ruckus he had caused. Promptly, he sat back down, covering his face in embarrassment. The people in the restaurant slowly resumed their conversations. Kai rested his head against the table. Zane, an icy-haired blond, turned towards him.

“Your increased heart rate and blood flow to your face implies that you are lying,” he robotically replied. Kai glanced towards the nindroid from under his arms. After a moment, Zane awkwardly lifted both of his arms and gave his teammate two thumbs up.

“Ok, sure thing, Elsa.”

“I still do not understand this reference.”

Jay grabbed the tablet in the center of the table, clicking through different tabs to find the sushi he wanted. His blue eyes almost sparkled once he saw it. In the center of the screen stood a beautiful piece of futomaki: perfectly cut vegetables and mushrooms hugged by the fluffiest rice one could imagine before being delicately rolled into shape with seaweed. Jay almost drooled at the image. Nya looked over her boyfriend’s shoulder, clicking on the order button before the blue ninja could enter a food hypnosis. She briefly ruffled his hair with a smile before returning the tablet back to the center of the table. Seconds later, the secondary food track began to whirr to life. Jay eagerly peered down the track. A vibrant blur of color flew at him and abruptly stopped centimeters from his face. He could see the air around the sushi vibrate with sparkles.

“If you don’t grab that soon, I’m taking it from the conveyor belt,” Cole mumbled, mouth full of food. Jay snapped out his dream-like phase.

“No!” The brunet exclaimed as he lurched towards the sushi.

Ripping the plate from the conveyor belt, Jay attempted to block Cole from being near his exquisite futomaki. Jokingly, the earth ninja slowly reached across the table with his chopsticks. Jay hissed in response and lifted his plate in the air. In the process of doing so, Nya was squished further into the back of the booth.

“Hey!” The water ninja huffed in annoyance.

Jay apologetically gave his girlfriend a sheepish smile. “Sorry!”

Very quickly, he shoved the sushi into his mouth.

“No need to be an Oni,” Cole joked before turning towards Lloyd. “No offense.”

“None taken,” Lloyd laughed, red eyes glinting mischievously.

Zane frowned. “There is not enough evidence to suggest that all Oni hiss when upset. Not to mention that Lloyd is only half-demon, which is even a rarer case.”

The team stared at the icy blond.

“I know it was a joke, but I am merely stating that it is an unbacked stereotype, and we shouldn’t be giving Oni the characteristics of a cat.”

The green ninja sympathetically smiled at the snow user. “I appreciate the effort though. Anyways, you guys know what time it is.”

“The best part!” Jay exclaimed, voice muffled.

“Dude! Chew with your mouth closed!” Kai presed. He quickly chucked a napkin at him.

The ninja team quickly stacked their empty plates into the center of the table. Zane collected the trash they had all collected during their meal and neatly set them aside at the end of the table. The nindroid noted to himself how the older generation did the opposite. He huffed in annoyance. The group of friends glanced upwards towards the small television above their booth. On it, a neon green, cartoon ninja sat near a kindling fire. Large snoring bubbles floated above its head. There was no doubt it was supposed to be the Green Ninja. On the opposite side of the screen, a large bubbled 5 stood proudly. Lloyd turned towards Cole.

“Do it.”

Almost immediately, the black head began inserting their plates into a small slot near the edge of their table and conveyor belt. With each plate, the number on the screen counted down. Once it hit zero, the cartoon ninja jumped to life. They jumped into the air and a green tornado enveloped them. As they spun across the screen, performing spinjitzu, green light threaded through the vortex. Everyone watched intently. Finally, they stopped in the center of the screen.

“Come on, come on!” Kai muttered to himself.

Jay swallowed his sushi in anticipation. The green ninja held its cupped hands to the screen. Sparkles flew out before filling up the entirety of the screen. Like a cheesy bowling alley screen, several words flew out: $10 OFF A MEAL! The sparkles disappeared, leaving the green ninja sitting by a simmering fire.

“Aw man!” Cole cried out. “I was hoping for one of those cool action figures they have out front.”

Zane paused for a moment. “According to my calculations, this allows us to be in budget for our outing as someone ate too much.”

Cole let out an offended gasp. “Hey, I’m a growing boy!”

“You say that every time!” Lloyd laughed.

“It is very important for us to stay within budget. Must I remind you all the last time we over-spent?” Zane stated.

Jay let out a whimper as Nya patted his shoulder in sympathy. “I still can feel the burning in my thighs from Wu’s training.”

“Well, we still have several plates left for one more try,” Lloyd announced.

“Oo! Oo! Let me do it this time,” Jay exclaimed.

Jay eagerly pushed the rest of the plates into the slot. Glancing back up to the small screen, pirate characters appeared from the corners. They crept up slowly behind the green ninja. As they neared, the green ninja jumped to life, surprising the crew of evil. The team leaned into the table with anticipation. The fighter quickly disarmed the group before they could even lift a finger. The character kicked up one of the pirate’s clubs into the air. Expertly, they jump-kicked the weapon into the screen, creating a shattering effect. Words took the position of the club as it fell. The lettering couldn’t be made out. Suddenly, the shattered glass twinkled down. The air felt heavy around those at the table. With each piece, the words became clear. CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE WON A SMALL PRIZE, it read.

The team let out a small cheer. A large whirring sound interrupted them. Jay eagerly peered down the conveyor belt as the team’s prize arrived. When it became still, a lime green gacha ball stood still on a plate. The lightning ninja quickly grabbed the item and set it down in the center of the table. They all stared at it for a moment.

“What do you think it is?” Kai asked.

“I’m not sure, but looking at it isn’t going to do anything,” Lloyd responded.

The blond promptly grabbed the gacha ball and opened it. He frowned for a moment.

“What is it?” Nya questioned.

Lloyd picked up the small plastic bag from inside and tore the toy out from it. “It’s a sticky hand…”

“Seriously?”

“Yep.”

Suddenly, an idea came to the demigod. A smirk crept onto his face. Kai felt his heart drop.

He yelled. “Don’t even think about it!”

Lloyd jumped up from his seat, aiming for the brunet.

“Lloyd, no!”

[little-miss-dumpsterfire]

I think I made you up inside my head - chapter three

Chapter three my select few darlings! Yes, it’s already on wattpad (sorry if you’ve read it already) but I like to share!

Are you ready kids?

Chapter Three - I am only what you made me. I am only a reflection of you

Trigger warning - mental health issues and blood/gore.

If you're not comfortable, please skip. 💛

******************************************

Sharp tears prickled in his hazel eyes as the ability to form coherent words seemed to escape him. He had known the minor details surrounding Lindsay's untimely death - a reality tv darling dropping dead was headline-worthy - but her family were tight-lipped about the exact circumstances of her demise. His mind raced as he tried to comprehend how Izzy had known all of this; her knowledge rivalled that of a fly on the bathroom wall. As if she could hear his innermost thoughts, Izzy answered his unspoken question.

"I knew the right people to ask," she told him, brushing the hair out from in front of her eyes, "I knew she didn't just die. I wasn't going to let her death be treated in such a blasé fashion."

Axel choked, the words lodged deeply in his throat. "Bu- I mean... how did you get the mirror?"

"I found it one day. It was in a box on my doorstep. Any sane person would leave it be, but if the media established anything, I'm clearly not seen as sane. So I opened it. I don't know who sent it to me. My money's on a producer who revels in the sadistic thrill derived from the torment and suffering we went through. I couldn't throw it away though, because what would be left of her if I did? She was already condemned to the ground. I wasn't going to be the one to throw her memory to the wind."

Izzy looked to her left, her reflection dimly lit in the glass cabinet on the far wall. "In my head... all I think of is when it's all over, is this how I'll be defined? The final victim of Total Drama... that's etched into my brain. I'll become another knick-knack in a hall of curiosities. We're no longer people in here, Axel, we're collectables."

Thoughts bounced around erratically in Axel's head - conflicting notions manifesting like an angel and a devil on his shoulder. In front of him was a woman who was struggling with the turmoil outliving all of her friends. Yet, the magnetic pull of the almighty dollar swayed his actions towards chasing stardom.

He lightly gripped her forearm, giving her his best convincing empathetic smile.

"Tell me the stories. Let the voices out of the purgatory that is your mind. Everything...one, everyone in here will not be relegated to the sidelines, I won't let that happen." Axel assured Izzy, his warm smile twitching at the corners of his mouth.

Ignoring the suspicion that washed over her thoughts - for the time being at least - Izzy continued walking down the aisles of shelves. Axel shadowed her, following a few paces behind, mindlessly fiddling with the items on display. Two tarnished faux-gold lockets sat near each other, the two halves of the 'BFF' heart separate from one another. As he went to push the two sections together, Izzy stopped him abruptly and pushed his hand away.

"No," she started, startling Axel with the sudden sternness. "They can't be together. They don't share a heart anymore."

"So what? They grew out of being obnoxious teenage girls and went their separate ways. Big fucking deal!"

She stared daggers into him, holding the shelving for support. "You've got no idea, kid. Just because the sun's covered, it doesn't mean your shadow's gone."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As far as appearances were concerned, Katie and Sadie were almost each other's doubles. Matching short pigtails with bright pink hair ties, coordinated short shorts, crop-tops and wedged sandals... the two looked like they fell from opposite sides of a funhouse mirror. To all of us on the cast, and the audience at home, no doubt, the only differentiating factor between the two was their build. Katie was slim and taller than Sadie by about four inches, whereas Sadie was shorter and carried more weight.

The two 'BFFL's sat together on the stairs leading to the dock, ready to film their segment for the opening sequence. Waiting for the crew to finish setting up the camera equipment, Katie busies herself with refastening her hair ties.

"Okay girls," an unseen producer informs them, "we need your best-infatuated expression. So give up wide eyes, big smiles, the whole nine yards."

The girls nod in response, awaiting their cue. Sadie clasped her hands against her chest - a wide smile plastered on her face - and Katie bit her lip coyly.

"And.... cut. Alright, move set to the dock for Beth's fire-baton stunt. Doug, remember the extinguisher this time." The producer called about. "Great job, girls. Especially you, Katie. That lip bite was dynamic."

Sadie looked to her right at her best friend. "Wait, you bit your lip? We agreed on a wide-mouthed smile."

"It's no big deal, I just wanted to try something different," Katie shrugged, readjusting her shoulder strap. "We can't always be the same, you know?"

Personality-wise, once you got to know them separately, it was like night and day. Katie was free-spirited, leading with her heart. Her passion for all things fashion was evident through her and Sadie's matching outfits and her behind-the-scenes chats with the likes of Lindsay and Heather. Sadie, on the other hand, was more logical, leading with her head. She was more likely to be the sheep as opposed to the shepherd. And when Katie was eliminated early? It was like leading a lamb to the slaughter.

Sadie sat on a jagged log at the campfire, head in her hands violently sobbing. Bridgette futilely offered her support, attempting to coax the girl from her hysterical state.

"Hey, Sadie, it'll be okay. You've got all us Killer Bass on your side." Bridgette lightly rubbed circles on the crying girl's back.

"No!" Sadie snapped at Bridgette, tears staining her cheeks. "It's not okay! I need Katie. When she's not near me, I break out in hives. She's my everything! I need her more than oxygen! Without her... I'll just die!"

Concerned expressions flashed on the faces of their fellow teammates as Sadie's wails echoed through the woods of Camp Wawanakwa. She clutched the debris from the dock closer to her chest; small cracks formed as wooden shrapnel shattered from around the edges.

What we thought back then was just a toxic 'uber' friendship between two sixteen-year-old girls was far more deep-rooted than any of us anticipated. Regarding Sadie... the best way to sum that up is to quote my dearly missed best friend Noah: 'Sadie is a whackjob with more baggage than an airport terminal'. But I suppose that is giving her a disservice. Upon Katie's departure, Chris was notified by Sadie's therapist of the extent of her mental state. I found out too because back then, well, let's just say you couldn't leave me in the dark for too long.

Sadie's childhood wasn't easy in the slightest. Her relationship with her birth parents was relatively non-existent. Therefore, she was surrendered into the custody of the state. The conveyor belt life of passing through the foster care system took a toll on the girl, with an absence of permanent parental love leaving holes in her heart. Her talkative nature and inhibitions to talk and hug strangers lead to her first visit to the therapist. She was a clear cut case for the child behavioural scientists: disinhibited social engagement disorder, an attachment disorder. Looking back, this was evident in all her future actions, particularly those with Katie.

The bell rang on the first day of their last year of high school. Sadie - dressed as per usual in fuchsia shorts and a striped crop top - eagerly skipped over to the locker of her best friend. As the locker door slammed and her friend came into view, the excited expression on Sadie's face dropped.

"K-Katie? What's this?" Sadie questioned, holding her sticker-covered folder flush against her chest.

Katie raised an eyebrow quizzically, straightening out her paper timetable to find her first classes location.

"What do you mean, Sadie?"

"I mean that!" the shorter girl exclaimed, gesturing at Katie's outfit. The taller girl had moved away from her typical Total Drama outfit, substituting it with a pair of denim jeans and a pastel pink cardigan.

"Oh, this? I just wanted to branch out a bit. I mean, matching outfits? What are we, twins?"

Katie giggled at her observation, with Sadie clearly missing the joke.

"Anyway, I have to get to English, but I'll see you around, yeah?" Katie chirped before walking off with two other girls.

Sadie stalked over to Katie's locker, using a spare hairpin to open it. Her heart broke upon looking at its contents. Gone were the photos of her and Sadie plastered onto her locker door. Cutouts from fashion magazines and runway shows lay in their wake and stuffed under a pile of books was the BFF necklace Sadie gifted her years prior.

Following their graduation, the pair had drifted apart. Katie received an offer to the most prestigious fashion school in Canada and left their small town for Toronto. Unbeknownst to her, Sadie followed suit and got a job at a sewing goods store. Sadie became Katie's shadow, desperately following her every move. Her morning routine was memorised, her coffee order became part of her mental wallpaper. Sadie's infatuation only grew, as in her mind, distance made the heart grow fonder. If only Katie knew that this distance was all of a few metres.

A harsh squeak dripped from the tired hinges of the ladder as Sadie climbed up the rungs, fastening something onto her wall. For her neighbours, the sound had become a part of their daily lives, as day after day, Sadie adhered more photos on the apartment wall. The collage of the lush green of leaves, the yellow of the bustling taxis and blue of the cloudless sky swirled around on the wall, catching a person's attention as they entered the room. A timber coffee table was neatly placed on the left, adorned with additional photo frames and miscellaneous decorations. The centrepiece to her display shimmered brightly when the morning sun shone through the gap in the curtains. Perched in a small, open velvet lines box was one half of a golden heart-shaped 'BFF' necklace.

Sadie took a step back and tilted her head, taking in the view from as many angles as she could. She had finally achieved the pinnacle of her undying love and infatuation for her former 'BFFL'. Neatly arranged across the length of the wall was a mural, dedicated to her muse, to the reason she woke up every morning. Candid photos of Katie walking down the street, exiting cars and meeting friends for coffee dates were carefully taken by the shadow she didn't know that she had.

A year and a half passed. There was a stark dichotomy between Katie and Sadie's lives. The final year of her fashion degree was approaching quickly, and Katie was not entering it alone. I don't know how many of us predicted it - probably Noah with his impeccable 'gaydar' - but Katie had fallen in love with an architecture student called Daisy. From what was depicted on their respective social media accounts, it was clear to us that they were enamoured with one another. The presence of another woman in Katie's life infuriated Sadie, as she believed that that position was reserved for her and her alone.

Then came the drop in the ocean that caused the whole tsunami. If it wasn't for Katie's selfless nature... well, I imagine things would've turned out a lot differently.

Katie sat cross-legged on the couch, a decorative throw rug draped across her lap. Their rescue cat, Archibald - a male calico - rested behind her head, purring with content as she opened her laptop. Her fingers barely touched the trackpad as she scrolled through her Facebook feed, bypassing ads for strange items and memes about the current political climate.

"Ekaterina," an auburn-haired girl walked through the doorway, a basket of washing in her hands. "I'm making something for lunch after I finish this washing. I'll probably use what's left in the fridge and make a frittata. D'you want some?"

"Ooh, yes please, Dais," Katie smiled at her partner, who poked her tongue out at the use of her nickname.

Katie clicked on her latest post to see who had reacted and liked. A smile crept across Katie's face as she clicked onto the picture: a photoshoot in a field on flowers where a bright ring sparkled on Katie's ring finger. She looked down at her left hand, still in a state of shock at Daisy's proposal. One name stuck out as Katie scrolled through the comments. She hadn't thought of them for years now and wondered what they were getting up to.

She clicked on their profile to compose a new message. Daisy walked up behind her and scratched Archibald's head before planting a kiss behind Katie's ear.

"Oooh, who are you talking to? Not your girlfriend, I hope," Daisy taunted, giggling breathlessly.

Katie threw her head back against the couch cushion and looked up at her fiancée.

"Yeah, I'm shopping elsewhere. I need someone who appreciates my nicknames!" Katie threw back, puffing her cheeks out comically. "No, you goose. It's this girl I used to go to school with. It's been forever and a day, and I thought I'd see how she's going."

"Sadie Calhoun... isn't she that one you went on that show with?"

"Yeah... I felt like such a poser back then. I don't think I've ever squealed since," Katie responded.

"Hey, people change. I had such a crush on you when I saw you on TV, and look now!" Daisy told her before walking away towards the kitchen. "I snagged the girl of my dreams!"

Katie laughed as she typed an introductory line, sending it through before closing her laptop.

*********

A sudden buzz from her phone against the wooden table shook Sadie out of her delirium. She had been sat before her photo wall, carefully cutting out photos of her face for what could have been hours. Paper scraps lined the wooden flooring like irregular speckles of snow as Sadie rose to her feet. Picking up her phone, her eyes shone brightly with its blue light as a squeal escaped from between her lips.

On her screen - behind the myriad of cracks and scratches - sat a notification that held Sadie's heart in a tight grip: Message request from Ekaterina Byers.

If this were a sitcom, I'm sure Sadie would've pinched herself at that moment to assure that she wasn't dreaming. But with one olive branch in the form of an instant message, Katie had signed her own death warrant.

Sadie opened the notification with bated breath, her cheeks aching from the smile that was cemented in place. Her heart fluttered with anxious butterflies as she read the message.

Ekaterina Byers:

"Hi, Sadie. I wonder if you remember me, probably not! High school seems like forever ago! Haha! 😝  I just thought I'd reach out and see if you wanted to get a coffee sometime and just catch up on life!"

The words swirled and danced before Sadie, who lovingly took in every single one with deep adoration and love. Everything she had wanted to tell her, the praise she had wanted to shower Katie in bounced around in her head. She placed her phone down, forcing herself to calm down before she wrote a response.

Sadie Calhoun:

"Oh, hi! OMG! Of course, I remember you! I'd love to catch up! You're the busy fashion designer, so you pick a time when you can squeeze an old friend in! 😎 💕" Watching the three dots in the bottom left corner caused Sadie's breath to hitch in her throat. She was typing... Katie was typing. They'd finally be reunited, not just from behind a camera lens. She felt as if she was in the painting 'The Creation of Adam', just a fingers touch away from her god, her whole world.

Ekaterina Byers:

"Haha, as if! I'm not there yet 😂  Would next Friday suit? Say about 9am at the Good Coffee Co. I need to hand in my portfolio at 8:30 so that'd work well."

Impulsively, acting out of desperation alone, Sadie immediately responded.

Sadie Calhoun:

"Yes! I'll be there! See you soon, Katie! 💕"

Sadie locked her phone before focusing her attention back to her craft. She picked up her scissors, skilfully manoeuvring around the edges of the photos. She stuck the product onto the wall and gazed upon it proudly. Hundreds of small cut out photos of her head were plastered on the wall, covering up any person Katie was with, replacing them with herself.

They did meet up, that much we do know. Testimonials from five different individuals confirmed that they saw the two girls at that café on Friday the 25th. What they talked about is up for speculation, because that stayed between the two of them. Why were testimonials needed if two young adults were just catching up over a cup of coffee? Because that was the last time Sadie Calhoun and Ekaterina 'Katie' Byers were seen alive.

Katie's eyelids drooped as she sat in the passenger seat of Sadie's car. Sadie - the 'good samaritan' that she was - had offered to drive Katie home after she suddenly felt light-headed following her coffee. Sadie parked in the driveway and opened Katie's door for her, helping her up as she tiredly hobbled towards the front door. Katie wearily collapsed onto the couch, her eyes barely registering the environment around her. She could hear faint crashing and shattering sounds as she struggled to keep her eyes open. She looked down upon the couch she was dozing on and sat up with a start.

"This isn't my house," she whispered to herself, scanning the room for any familiar objects. She froze in place when she spotted something utterly recognisable to her: her face. Hundreds of different angles of her face created a mosaic, a shrine to a friendship that was never meant to last.

"It's beautiful, isn't it?"

Sadie smiled sweetly as she entered the room. "It couldn't be anything but. Not when the subject is as exquisite as you."

Confusion washed over Katie's face as Sadie approached her, a clothed parcel delicately held in her hands. Sadie reached up to caress her old friend's cheek; Katie snaked away from the touch, petrified of the girl in front of her.

"Hmm. That's the problem, isn't it?" Sadie soliloquised, her grey eyes meeting Katie's scared onyx eyes. "You stopped being Katie. You stopped being my best friend. I know Katie is living in those photos, not 'Ekaterina'. Katie wouldn't have left me. No, not at all. Forever isn't a term to just throw around."

Black tears dripped down Katie's face as she silently sobbed. "W-we were kids. What we were wa-wasn't healthy. We're two separate people, Sadie! I couldn't live being so connected to a shadow. I wanted t-to shine on my own."

"But I don't wanna be separate people! I want to be with you... to be you. To never be apart from you!" Sadie passionately yelled as Katie started to slump down in front of her. The world around her became dark as her lids closed tightly. As her consciousness drifted, a phrase echoed through her head.

"Don't worry now. We'll never be apart again."

*********

Excruciating pain emanating from her side woke her with a jolt. A dull haze covered her field of vision, but as she pulled her hand away from her waist, she could see it as clear as day. A warm layer of blood coated her hand like a glove. Her eyes slowly settled to the room she was in. Metres ahead of her was the collage of photos, but the furniture has been removed, leaving a wide-open space.

Her fingers felt around to find the source of the pain, coming across thick strands of string attached to her waist. A scream silently bubbled up inside her, threatening to explode.

Rough, uneven strands of double-wound fishing wire had been haphazardly sewn into both her and Sadie's sides, connecting them to each other.

A groggy smile spread across Sadie's plump cheeks as she revelled in her actions. "I told you we'll never be apart again."

An extreme shock was the only emotion Katie was able to come to terms with. Her body was statuesque; set in place by a fear-driven paralysis. A dryness inhabited her mouth, inhibiting her ability to swallow the truth in front of her. The room swayed and distorted around her - a prison cell painted with her face - as she forced her eyelids shut. This couldn't be reality. It was the sick dream of a girl trapped in the suffocating world of a teenage girl.

The pain Sadie felt in her abdomen only further fuelled her pleasure, letting every wave of pain wash over her in euphoric ecstasy. Her heart felt complete again as if she had regained a long-lost limb.

"I knew we'd become one again," Sadie hummed, intoxicated by being in Katie's presence. "Daisy was just a placeholder... keeping the bed warm for me. With every thread... every stitch... our closeness is now defined. We'll never be apart again. Best friends for life."

"...for...life," Katie mumbled, fresh blood weeping from her wounds.

Night and day passed slowly, the shadows cast from the pair forming contorted, misshapen dark splotches on the walls. A sickening warmth surrounded Katie, whose heartbeat pounded heavily in her ears. Her waist was bruising a deep purple, with the surrounding blood vessels snaking across her abdomen. Sadie was shaken awake by Katie's convulsions as her body became slick with a layer of sweat.

"Katie? I'm here, it's okay."

"I don't feel good... I want Daisy," Katie slurred, lazily searching the room for her partner.

The 'tethering' procedure was as wildly unsuccessful as one could imagine. Sadie's homemade suture kit - a sharpened metal knitting needle and fishing line - only managed to pierce through Katie's large intestine. Bile and stool seeped into her abdomen, eventually finding their way into her bloodstream. The coroner estimated she died two days later of septic shock.

A thin beam of light eclipsed the drawn curtains and rested on Sadie's face as dawn broke. Her hand moved softly to caress Katie's hand; a stiff claw lay in her wake. An overwhelming panic flooded Sadie's system as she attempted to wake the other girl from her 'deep' slumber. Half-lidded blood-red eyes stared back at Sadie, a trickle of dried blood pooled at her temple. Sadie's heart shattered like a golden locket as she cradled the limp body in her arms, pulling the skin taut around her suture wounds. The shadow had won. It had succeeded in snuffing out what was left of the light.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"What happened to Sadie in the end?" Axel asked, taking a minute amount of sadistic glee from the story.

Izzy turned to face the young man. A single tear crept down her cheek as she fiddled with her rings. "She refused to live without Katie. She starved to death, all the while she left Katie's decomposing corpse attached to her hip like a growth."

Izzy wiped the tear from her eye, suppressing sniffles as Axel glanced around the room.

"Hmm...Alright. Who's next then?"

[the-tiva-og]

His Ninjas

Final chapter of my fluffy fic for @talisbirthdaychallenge​!

Chapter 3: Like Ima Ninja, Like Daughter Ninja

“Cat town, cat town, cat town,” Tali sang, swinging her and her father’s joined hands as they departed the hotel. They set out toward Yanaka Ginza, a shopping street that Tony and Ziva wanted to visit to see the shrine and that they had lured Tali into agreeing by telling her that, on quiet mornings, there were sometimes stray cats roaming the streets.  Unfortunately, their first cat spotting took place as Tony was absorbed in reading his map and, not looking where he was going, trod on the tail of a black cat sunning himself on the sidewalk. The cat yowled and darted off and Tony jumped as though he had just stepped on a landmine.  “Daddy!” Tali cried out, “Did you hurt the kitty?!” “Not on purpose!” Tony insisted, looking for the cat. He spotted him, perched on a wall and watching Tony with a look that, Tony would insist, was pure hatred. “See,” he gestured toward the cat, who was now casually licking his tail, “he’s right over there, he’s fine.”

The rest of their visit to the neighborhood went smoothly, Tony was definitely more careful with where he placed his feet, but they spent most of the time looking at the traditional crafts and foods. They didn’t pass back by the wall for at least an hour. Tony initially sighed happily, seeing that the black cat had apparently found somewhere better to be. Then he heard Tali cooing, “Kitty, kitty, kitty.” Tony turned to see his daughter crouched and holding out her hand to the black cat, leaned cooly against a bicycle. It only took a few more coos from Tali before the cat was rubbing against her legs and purring happily while the girl giggled and gently pet his silky black fur. “Ima, look!” Tali called.  Ziva knelt beside her daughter and scratched the cat behind the ears, “He’s pretty, isn’t he, Tali?” “So cute!” Tali said with a smile, “Do you think he’s the same cat that Daddy stepped on?” Seeing how loving the cat was to his partner and daughter, Tony decided to kneel down and try giving the cat some attention. The cat walked toward him, sniffed, raised the hair on his back, and hissed at Tony before returning to Tali. “I would say that this is definitely the same cat your father stepped on,” Ziva said, fighting a laugh. Tony huffed and turned away, “We need to go so that we don’t miss our train.” Ziva rolled her eyes and stood, beckoning for Tali to follow.  “Bye, kitty!” she called, waving at the black cat and following her mother.  As the girl reached out to grab Ziva’s hand, she asked innocently, “Can we get a cat when we go home?” Tony could only grit his teeth.

--------------------

After a trip to an arcade and filling their bellies with gyoza, they arrived at an aquarium. Ever the animal lover, Tali always begged to visit zoos and aquariums. Tony always tried to sway her to pick an aquarium since they tended to be indoors and, in his opinion, didn’t smell like a county fair. The excited little girl pinballed from one exhibit to another, calling to her parents anytime she saw something notable.  “Daddy! Look! Stingrays!” she called out, watching with awe as a massive ray gracefully swam through the tank. Before Tony really had a chance to respond, she was at the next exhibit, calling, “Ima! An octopus! A real octopus!” The tank of reef sharks held her attention long enough for her parents to actually get to look around, but once she spotted a tunnel of jellyfish, they were back on their trek.

“Where does she get the energy?” Tony sighed, throwing his head back as Tali oohed at a tank of piranhas before trotting off to look at some salamanders. “You were an athlete,” Ziva commented while Tali called for her parents to hurry because she had found the seals, “are you telling me that you were not an energetic child?” “Look at the seals, you guys!” Tali insisted as they stood in front of the large icy tank, “Aren’t they cool?” “I had plenty of energy,” Tony quipped, Tali too absorbed in the animals to realize that her parents had not responded, “but this feels more like a Ziva trait.” “Ha!” Ziva laughed, “Of course you would say that.” Tony didn’t have a chance to ask her what she meant because Tali grabbed his arm, calling, “Daddy! Daddy! Look! It’s Dory and Nemo!” The final area of the aquarium was almost more excitement than Tali could handle. Between the otters and penguins, jumping fish and sea lions, the little girl was practically buzzing with excitement. 

This excitement only built as they went to the mall next door to get a snack and ended up finding a Snoopy store, Disney store, and something called the “Pokemon Center MEGA TOKYO,” that Tony never thought they would drag Tali out of. “How about we go to a park?” Tony offered as they left the mall, desperate to go somewhere that wouldn’t have Tali insisting on buying more souvenirs. Ziva, who was now holding the energetic child’s hand, quickly agreed and mentioned a park that they had found in the city guide. Tony found the dog-eared page and the trio set out for their next destination.

The park Tali and Ziva picked out turned out to be, essentially, a massive obstacle course.  “Perfect place for my ninja duo,” Tony joked, standing to the side while Ziva led Tali across a balance beam.  After a seemingly endless string of rope ladders, rope bridges, climbing walls, and rope nets, they reached a bridge made of a series of log platforms. Watching several people ahead of them wobble on the platforms, linger for too long, and begin to sink into the shallow pond, Tony shook his head. “Nope, I’m out,” he said. “I’ll wait for you guys here.” “Scared of a little water, Tony?” Ziva teased.  “I just don’t want to spend the rest of the day walking around in wet socks, Zee-vah,” he replied, “but if you think you’re so graceful, go right ahead.” Her eyes lit up with the challenge and she completed the obstacle with ease, Tali following a bit more clumsily behind her.  Next came a log bridge and a zipline, which Tony observed from the ground, teasing Ziva anytime she gave an indication of frustration. “Our little ninja’s got some skills,” Tony quipped as they watched Tali paddle a round wooden boat through the next obstacle, “still not wanting to admit that she gets that energy from you?” Ziva grinned, looking at their daughter with so much pride, “She does get that from me.” Tony laughed a little, wrapping his arm around Ziva’s shoulder and giving her a little squeeze as Tali clambered out of her boat and ran to the next obstacle. 

Another rope ladder, another zipline, another log bridge, and a rope swing led to a bathroom break. Tali came charging out of the bathroom, intent on finishing the course. She made it through most of the remaining obstacles only taking help from her parents with great reluctance. As she slid off the log slide at the end of the course, she made a running jump at Tony who reacted just in time to catch her. “I did it! Daddy, I did it!” she shouted, “I finished the ninja path!” “Hey, yeah, you did,” he said, squeezing her, “Great job, T-Bird, I’m proud of you.” “Does this make me a real ninja now?” Tali asked excitedly. Tony smiled and nodded, “Yeah, you’re a real ninja, just like Ima.” He tossed a wink at Ziva who smiled and rolled her eyes. “Just like Ima,” Tali said proudly, raising her head from her father’s chest. 

They took the train to Odaiba and spent the late afternoon playing in arcades and browsing in a retro candy store with Tony just as eager as Tali to buy all sorts of mysterious snacks and sweets. Ziva, however, insisted that this would not be eaten instead of a meal, leading Tony to snark, “You’re such a mom, David.” Which, between any other two people might have been an insult, but the smile shared between the couple made it clear that Tony was using the lighthearted jab to continue his assurance of Ziva’s role in their solidifying family.  The family ended up in a conveyor belt sushi restaurant, which Tony had spotted in the city guide and insisted that he had to see it in action. Like her father, the little plates crawling along the counter fascinated Tali. She wanted to grab the first one that she saw, but with a parent positioned on each side, her picks were a bit more policed.  They were cautious with her at first, letting her take egg, shrimp, and grilled pork nigiri, as well as a cucumber roll. Anything she didn’t finish was finished by either Tony or Ziva, but there wasn’t much of that. Despite being a picky baby, Tali had grown to be an adventurous eater, another thing that each parent would insist was a trait inherited from the other. She swiped a tuna nigiri from Tony’s plate and a salmon nigiri from Ziva’s. They began offering her half of everything that they took from the conveyor belt and were happily surprised to see how much of it Tali enjoyed. She barely even flinched at the heat of the wasabi on a piece of squid nigiri. However, she almost spat a piece of eel back onto the plate. Tony laughed a little at the disgusted face that she made while he ate the other piece. Fortunately, the only other similar incident took place when she excitedly grabbed a roll from the belt before Tony or Ziva could stop her. She smelled the sushi and tried to refuse to eat it. Ziva insisted that, since she took it off of the belt, she needed to be responsible and eat at least one piece of it. Tali whined and pouted for a while, but Ziva did not relent and eventually the little girl managed to eat the natto maki. Tony volunteered to eat the remaining pieces from the plate and they wore matching grimaces until they were able to wash the taste out of their mouths.  As they left the restaurant, Ziva praised their daughter for being such an adventurous eater with Tony adding that she even ate the “stinky bean thing.” Proud of herself, Tali puffed out her chest and walked with a purpose. 

“We’ve got some surprises for you when we get back to the hotel room,” Tony told Tali as they left the train station in Asakusa and began walking back to their hotel. Tali gasped, “More surprises?!” Tony held his hands up in a defensive pose, “Now, I can’t promise that they’ll be as good as a trip to Disneyland, but I think you’ll like them.” Ziva smiled at him, knowing what he had planned and also knowing that her morning run had taken her past a bakery today and that there was a small strawberry shortcake currently stashed away in the room’s refrigerator.  Tali skipped the rest of the way to the hotel and waited impatiently for the elevator. “Your surprise won’t be there until we are, kiddo,” Tony laughed, watching the little girl shift her weight from one foot to the other, a spitting image of her mother. Tali huffed as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open. 

Once they got up to the room, Tony went to his computer to set up the surprise while Tali opened up a coloring book she had gotten at one of the plethora of shops they had visited on this trip. “Okay,” he called out, gesturing for the little girl to join him, “come sit in the chair and close your eyes.” Tali hopped off of the bed and rushed over to the desk. She clambered into the chair and squeezed her eyes shut tight.  “No peeking, okay?” Tony said, lightly, starting a program on the laptop.  The little girl clapped her hands over her eyes and nodded. “Alright, just give me a second, okay?” he said.  “Okay,” she agreed.  Familiar voices called out, “Happy birthday, Tali!” and her hands flew from her face and her eyes opened wide. “Uncle Tim! Uncle Jimmy!” she shouted, looking at the faces of her parents’ friends on the laptop in front of her, “Hi!” “Hey, kiddo, how’s Tokyo?” McGee asked. “Your dad said that you went to a ninja restaurant, that’s so cool,” Palmer added.  Tony smiled in the background, happy to see his friends, but also happy to let Tali have some time with her unofficial uncles. He could tell from the background that they were huddled around the computer in Palmer’s office in the basement. It was just a bit past seven a.m. in Washington, so he wasn’t exceptionally surprised that they were both there and looking wide awake.  Tali was regaling them with stories of their trip and all the places that they had gone and about the surprise trip to Disneyland they were taking tomorrow for her birthday. The men listened in rapt attention as she told them about the souvenirs she had bought for Victoria, Johnny, and Morgan and how she couldn’t wait to meet them in person so that she could give them their gifts. As McGee was promising to come visit Tali and her parents really soon, Ziva called out to tell Tali that they had one more surprise for her. Her head whipped around to her mother and her eyes widened, “Is that cake?!” “I know that today is not actually your birthday and I am sure that you will have many treats in Disneyland tomorrow, but since we are having your birthday with family tonight” Ziva said, eyes twinkling and smile brightening when she said ‘family’, “your father and I thought that we should have a birthday cake.” The cake was small, but still large enough that they would probably each get to have another slice or two before it was gone. It was iced with whipped cream and topped with florets of cream and slices of strawberries. Tony had poked six small candles into the icing and they were currently burning with little, dancing flames. “Go on and blow out your candles,” McGee encouraged.  Tali nodded excitedly as her mother placed the cake between the little girl and the computer. “Don’t forget to make a wish!” Palmer added. Tali nodded again, closing her eyes for just a second before dramatically blowing out the candles.  Her family clapped and cheered, then Tony wiped the computer screen and Ziva set to cutting slices of the cake for the three family members currently sharing a room. They talked for a while longer, long enough for Tali to finish her slice of cake, but her eyes soon began to droop. “Hey, kiddo,” Tony said, putting a hand on her shoulder, “why don’t you say bye to your uncles and start getting ready for bed?” Tali nodded sleepily and exchanged goodbyes and good nights with Palmer and McGee before sliding out of the chair and heading toward her pajamas. 

“So, everything good with you guys?” McGee asked, once Tali had left the area. Tony looked at Ziva and smiled, “Yeah, things are great.” Jimmy’s face somehow grew even brighter, “It's so great to see you guys together, I mean, really together together. You’re just… so damn cute!” Ziva chuckled and Tony rolled his eyes, “Slap him for me, McGee.” McGee rolled his eyes back at Tony and said, “I agree with him.” “I didn’t ask if you agreed, McCupid,” Tony snarked, hiding a smile. McGee chortled and gave Jimmy a light smack to the back of the head. Tony smiled and nodded, “You’ve all gone soft. I never got such a gentle hand when I was there.” “And that explains so much about you, mon cher,” Ziva teased, taking the seat vacated by Tali. She leaned over and pressed a light kiss to the corner of his mouth. “Eww! Cut it out!” McGee teased, “Gross!” “You know that we made a child together, right McGeek?” Tony said as Ziva leaned back, smirking. McGee grimaced, “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean I have to think about how you made one.” Tony continued teasing, “You see, when a mommy loves a daddy very much--” “Hey!” McGee called out, “Everyone here has been involved in the baby-making process. We are all very much aware of how it happens.” “Oh wow,” Palmer interrupted, “We’re all parents.” There was a moment of silence as the former coworkers let that sink in, as they all took in how much their lives had changed since they met. “We are,” Ziva said, voice full of the emotions that they all felt. “That’s crazy, isn’t it?” McGee vocalized, “I mean, did you ever imagine that happening?” Tony shrugged, “I mean, I certainly didn’t.” “We’ve gotta get all the kids together sometime soon,” Palmer said.  They all nodded or voiced their agreement. 

In the silence that followed, Tony spoke up, “Uh, so… we’re engaged.” “What?!” Palmer and McGee shrieked. “When?!” McGee asked while Palmer shouted, “Really?!” over him. “Yeah, last night at the Skytree tower thing, I just sort of… asked if Ziva would marry me,” Tony shrugged. “Well, you first asked, hypothetically, if you proposed, would I say yes,” Ziva corrected. “And you told me that I should ask,” Tony replied, “and I did.” Ziva smirked, “He didn’t have a ring.” Tony smirked back, “You still said yes.” “He’s had a ring for ages, Ziva,” McGee said, smiling from ear to ear, “Trust me, I’ve seen it. It’s perfect for you.” Palmer nodded in agreement.  “So everyone knew about the ring except me?” Ziva asked, shocked. Tony shrugged, “Well, I had to get the approval of my council of men.” Ziva gestured at the screen, “Your ‘council of men.’” Tony chuckled, “I said what I said.” Before the bickering could continue, Tali called out for them from the other room. “Ah, duty calls,” Tony said, turning to the screen. A faint buzzing sounded through the speakers and McGee pulled out his phone, “Yeah, that’s Gibbs. Looks like we’ve got a case.” “Give the best to the old man for us,” Tony said. “Will do,” McGee responded with a little salute. “Take care of yourselves,” Ziva called. “We will,” Jimmy responded, “Congratulations!” The call ended and Tony and Ziva were left looking at their reflections in the blank computer screen. Reflections of the people they had became-- parents, partners, fiances, civilians.  “Did you ever think we’d get here?” Tony asked, standing and offering a hand to Ziva. She shook her head, “I never imagined it. Never let myself imagine it.” He pressed a kiss to her temple, “And now?” She smiled, leaning against him, “I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

[btsqualityy]

BTS Toddler Series #11: Joining Him on Tour

Author’s Note: Don’t come at me about Jhope’s sister’s name. I went with what I have been told that it is. I don’t need any asks or pms sent to me about it. Thanks!

Kim Seokjin 

“Right this way Y/N-ssi,” one of the boys’ managers said as he led you and Kaiden to the backstage area before the boys’ show. You had decided to surprise Jin right before their next show of the tour, which you knew would make both him and Kaiden happy.

“They’re all inside,” the manager told you and you nodded as you heard their familiar voices.

“Thank you,” you smiled and he nodded before walking away. You pushed the door open, leading Kaiden inside as you looked around. The first pair of eyes that you caught were Namjoon’s and you held your finger up to your lips, signaling him to be quiet. He nodded and you looked down at Kaiden, pointing over to Jin afterwards.

“Go get him,” you whispered and Kaiden nodded before running over to Jin, hugging tightly on his right leg.

“Yah! What the,” Jin exclaimed as he looked down and he smiled widely as he saw Kaiden. “Kade, hi! What are you doing here?” He laughed as he bent down and picked him up, kissing his cheeks multiple times.

“Kade and mommy come see daddy,” he giggled and Jin stopped kissing him to look over at you. You waved and walked over to where they were standing.

“How did you do it?” Jin huffed as he hugged you with his free arm. “I literally just talked to you a few hours ago.”

“We were already at the airport when you called,” you admitted. “When we hung up, we boarded the plane and now here we are.”

“Daddy miss Kade?” Kaiden asked and Jin looked back at him.

“Of course I did,” he confirmed as he hugged him. 

“I told you Kade,” you smiled.

Min Yoongi

“We’re looking for the door with the number four on it, ok?” You told Kinsley as the two of you walked down the hallway of the hotel that the boys were staying in. You had decided to surprise Yoongi by joining them on tour and no one knew that you were there, besides the boys’ managers.

“Here Mommy,” Kinsley smiled as she pointed to a door with a bold number four on the front. 

“Good job sweetheart,” you praised before pulling the key card to the door out of your pocket. You quickly swiped it and heard the lock beep, signaling that it was unlocked. You pushed the door open and motioned to Kinsley for her to step inside. You watched as she did so and you pulled your suitcase behind you as you walked inside as well. After shutting the door behind you, you looked around and saw Yoongi laying in the bed, fast asleep.

“Wanna go wake him up?” You asked Kinsley and she nodded quickly. You waved your hand towards Yoongi and watched with a smile as Kinsley barreled over to the bed, climbing on it and shaking Yoongi’s shoulder.

“Leave me alone Namjoon,” Yoongi groaned as he pulled the blanket over his head.

“No uncle Joonie,” Kinsley pouted and Yoongi’s head popped up at the sound of her voice. He glanced over his shoulder and a wide grin spread over his face as he looked at Kinsley.

“Baby girl, what are you doing here?” He gasped as he turned over and opened his arms, hugging her tight to him. He looked over Kinsley’s shoulder and his eyes lit up at the sight of you.

“Hi,” you said lamely, making Yoongi chuckle. You walked over to the bed and sat down next to him, leaning over to press a kiss to his lips afterwards.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you two were coming?” Yoongi asked as he sat up, You went to open your mouth to answer but Kinsley beat you to it.

“Surprise daddy,” she chirped, making both you and Yoongi laugh.

Kim Namjoon

“Mason, slow down!” You shouted as you jogged behind in order to catch up with him. You and Mason had flown to the place of the boys’ next concert but since your flight didn’t land until late at night, you had gotten a hotel room for you and Mason. Now that it was the next morning, one of the boys’ managers texted you the address of the stadium and you quickly took a cab to the location.

“He’s such a ball of energy now, huh?” The manager commented.

“He’s always been like this,” you corrected, making him laugh. 

“They’re right on stage so you just go up those stairs and it’ll lead you straight there,” he instructed and you nodded. “Although, I think someone has already beaten you to it,” he chuckled and you looked over to see Mason making his way up the steps.

“Oh my gosh,” you groaned. “Thank you again,” you bowed before rushing over and walking up the steps to catch Mason. However, you weren’t fast enough because he made it to the top before you did and promptly ran off afterwards. You rushed after him, hearing the boys’ practicing Anpanman on stage and you followed the music.

“Mase?” You heard what sounded like Taehyung say,and you let out a little sigh of relief that he hadn’t gotten lost. You finally made it to the stage and saw all of the members gathered around Namjoon, who had Mason in his arms.

“Where’s mommy buddy?” Namjoon asked and you cleared your throat causing them all to look over at you.

“Someone was excited and ran away from me,” you explained and Namjoon nodded in understanding.

“You shouldn’t do that to mommy,” Namjoon scolded and Mason pouted lightly. “It wasn’t very nice.”

“Sorry mommy,” he apologized and you kissed his cheek.

“It’s ok buddy,” you smiled and then looked up at Namjoon, who was already looking at you. “What?” You asked.

“I missed you,” he chuckled, making you blush lightly.

“Missed you more Joon,” you replied before kissing him.

Jung Hoseok

“Thank you so much for coming with me Jiwoo,” you smiled as the both of you carried the sleeping twins through the airport terminal. Hobi’s sister had agreed to fly out with you to meet the boys in the next city of the tour so that you weren’t stuck on a plane with two toddlers on your own.

“You don’t have to keep thanking me Y/N,” she shrugged. “Besides, I couldn’t let you travel with these two on your own.”

“But still, I really appreciate it,” you said. The two of you stopped and looked around as you tried to see if you could spot Hobi.

“Do you see him?” Jiwoo asked as she adjusted Berkeley in her arms and you shook your head.

“Not yet,” you replied as you continued to look around. All of a sudden, you heard a shout of your name.

“Y/N-ah!” You turned around and saw Hobi speed walking towards you. He immediately wrapped his arms around you, hugging you as close to his body as he could.

“Oh, I missed you,” he whispered and you kissed his cheek before pulling back from him.

“We missed you too,” you giggled. “Look Lennox,” you whispered as you bounced Lennox gently to rouse him. He opened his eyes and looked over at Hobi, a wide sleepy smile coming over his face when he realized that it was him.

“Daddy!” He squealed and Hobi took him from you, setting him on his hip as he kissed his cheek multiple times.

“Oh yeah, ignore your big sister, why don’t you?” Jiwoo joked and Hobi turned to her.

“Hi Noona,” he chuckled as he moved over and kissed her cheek. “Princess,” he called to Berkeley and she slowly opened her eyes. He held out his open arm and Jiwoo placed Berkeley in his hands. You couldn’t help the smile that spread on your face as you watched Hobi hug them both close to him.

Park Jimin

“Mommy,” Noah whines as you set him down on the ground next to you. “Up.”

“I have to get our bags baby,” you whispered as you set your hand on his head. However, he stomped his foot and began to whine loudly. Sighing heavily, you bent down and picked him up again, setting him on your hip. The flight had been horrible since Noah had refused to sleep which led to him becoming both overtired and cranky.

“Just a few minutes Noey,” you murmured soothingly as he tucked his head into your neck. You continued to scan the conveyor belt, looking for the two suitcases that you had brought with you. You saw one and managed to grab it but you were still waiting for the other one. Once it came down the line, you tried to grab it but you couldn’t with Noah in your arms. However, a hand reached out and grabbed it for you.

“Oh, thank you so much,” you sighed in relief but when you looked up, you saw Jimin smiling down at you.

“Hi baby,” he smiled, making Noah’s head perk up at the sound of his father’s voice and you laughed before leaning up and kissing him firmly.

“Jimin-ssi, we missed you,” you pouted and Noah held his hands out to Jimin. Jimin chuckled and grabbed Noah, hugging him close to his body.

“I missed you both too. So much,” he muttered as he pressed two quick kisses on Noah’s cheek. “How was the flight?” Jimin asked as you grabbed both of the suitcases before the three of you began to make your way out of the airport.

“I’d rather not talk about it,” you grimaced, making Jimin laugh.

Kim Taehyung

“Mommy, where Daddy?” Spencer lisped and you smiled as you tightened your grip on her hand while the two of you walked towards the front of the airport.

“He should be here in a few minutes Spence,” you promised and she nodded in response. The two of you made it to the doors of the airport and you let go of the handle on your suitcase to pull your phone out of your pocket. After seeing that you had no texts or calls from Taehyung, you raised an eyebrow. You went to press the call icon next to his name but a sudden squeal from Spencer almost made you jump out of your skin.

“Daddy!” She shouted as she pointed to your right side and you looked over to see Taehyung strolling over to you. Being as though he was only a few feet away, you let Spencer’s hand go and watched as she ran over to Taehyung.

“Munchkin!” He cheered as he picked her up, swinging her around before hugging her tightly. You walked a few more steps before you finally reached them, setting your hand on his shoulder.

“I guess you can tell how much she’s missed you,” you giggled.

“I missed her too,” he nodded before setting her back down on the ground. “I missed you too though, you know,” he smirks as he wraps his arms around you. You hug him back, taking a second to inhale the scent of his cologne that you missed so much.

“Missed you more,” you whispered. Tae pulled away enough to look at you before he pressed his lips to yours, causing you to let out a small noise of surprise. Nonetheless, you returned the kiss, placing your hands on his neck.

“Me kisses too,” Spencer giggled, making you pull away from Tae. You smiled as Tae picked her up again and she squealed loudly as both you and Tae pressed simultaneous kisses to her cheeks.

Jeon Jungkook

“Here Ave,” you said as you held Ava’s pacifier up to her lips and she opened her mouth to accept it, sucking tiredly on it afterwards. The flight had been amazing, since Ava slept through most of it and she was still drowsy as the two of you rode in a cab to the boys’ hotel. 

When the cab pulled in front of the hotel, you quickly texted Jungkook to let him know that you were here and he replied to say that he’d be right down. You got out, reaching back inside to help Ava scoot over and out as well. After making sure that she was stable on the ground next to you, you watched as the cab driver walked around to the trunk of the car to get your bags out.

“Y/N-ah,” you heard and you turned around, seeing Jungkook walk out of the revolving doors of the hotel. He jogged over to you and wrapped his arms around your shoulders, pulling you close to him as he hugged you tightly.

“God, I missed you,” he murmured as you wrapped your arms around his torso.

“I missed you more Kook,” you whispered as a smile crept onto your face. Jungkook was always more affectionate after being away on tour and you couldn’t say that you hated it.

“Daddy,” Ava mumbled from behind her pacifier and Jungkook let go of you to look down. The grin that appeared on his face at seeing Ava’s face made your heart warm, and you watched as he knelt down so that he was level with her.

“Come give me hugs Angel,” Jungkook called and that was all it took for Ava to fall into his arms. He held her tight as he stood up straight again,his hands rubbing her back soothingly as he cooed into her ear.

“Miss daddy,” you heard Ava mutter and Jungkook smiled widely.

“Daddy missed you too Angel,” he said before pressing a kiss to the side of her head.

[chubbyooo]

Blurred Lines: Cursed Past Chapter 81 - Dubrillion

we're finally back with the main fic :D

Ash and Guss arrive at Dubrillion andinvestigate the scientists inventions 

Ash sat looking out at the hyperspace trails they had to go the long way round to Dubrillion as to not arouse suspicion so that had left her with rather a lot of time with the Mon Cal to her right and he wasn’t exactly quiet.

Guss continued to question her “so you and Gacen were quite close then?” Ash rolled her eyes how long was he gonna ask this sort of thing 

Ash shrugged “I mean I guess we lived together for two years and I helped him escape prison” Guss nodded frantically as he sat in the co-pilot's seat 

Guss asked “well it’s not like you talked about personal issues it was just a living arrangement” Ash frowned why had she been paired off with him

Ash answered “well yeah I mean he was pretty depressed so we got pretty real by all accounts” Guss seemed to stifle a question “look Guss if you’re worried I’m stealing your best friend spot I doubt that’s true Gacen may be my best friend but I doubt I’m his, he’s good at talking to people but believe me I don’t care about being his best friend” Guss seemed to relax a little

He nodded “right right right of course my bad sorry it’s just your so cool and well I’m me” Ash frowned looking to him he wasn’t wrong but still

Ash asked him “so why did you stay with Risha after Gacen was captured” Guss looked away Ash assumed he was embarrassed but it was hard to read his face

Guss hesitated “well to be honest it was the only place where I didn’t feel like a screw up, the rest of the crew had places to go back to but I couldn’t exactly go back to the Jedi Order” Ash’s eyes widened 

Ash was surprised “the Jedi order? What do you mean” of all the people to be part of the jedi order or at least formerly Guss was at the bottom of her list

Guss held his neck “I was formerly part of the Jedi order but I never really took to it so my force affinity only ever stayed this way” Ash was bewildered as Guss lifted a small trinket a few feet in the air

Ash had seen much more powerful jedi in her time but still was surprised to see it “so you had potential to become a jedi?” Guss nodded as the trinket fell out of the air suddenly

He stood it back up “well yes but I wasn’t ever any good at ‘controlling my emotions’ so I gave up” Ash nodded she could see that it seemed like a rather intense training system

Ash was still curious about something “you said something about Force affinity what’s that” Guss was seeming more comfortable as they continued to chat

Guss answered “well there’s two types, types like me where if trained right we could be Jedi but otherwise have an innate ability to perform a few powers for me it’s the force levitation of small objects and minor healing. And the other is when someone just has the innate ability of a force power regardless of training, like natural persuasion or some kind of ability to see through illusions that sorta thing” Ash had never heard of this she wondered if anyone she knew or had known had possessed such a power. Guss continued “once i suggested Gacen had innate charming power but he thought it was an insult to suggest that was anything but himself being charming” Guss chuckled and Ash couldn’t help but smile that did sound accurate

Ash had to admit maybe Guss wasn’t so bad “I never knew you had a force affinity maybe you will come in handy” Guss seemed to not know whether to take that as a compliment or not

Guss brushed it off “so where are you from Ash if you don’t mind me asking” Ash frowned no one ever really asked her that

Ash sighed “I don’t really know I’ve been a soldier all my life, I never knew my parents” Guss seemed to shuffle back seemingly worried he’d crossed a line

Guss apologized “sorry I didn’t want to bring up bad memories” Ash shook her head waving it off

Ash groaned “oh please don’t it’s ok I don’t long to meet them or anything if they were cruel enough to leave me in a republic camp then I don’t think I ever want to meet them, and they certainly won’t have any bearing on my life” Guss nodded his smile returning

His tone was softer “well you know what they say you find your real family in your friends” Ash sighed great pity he may have a point there but it still felt like pity

Ash responded tersely “yeah I guess so but don’t worry I’m not grasping for some form of companionship I’m doing just fine, it won't suddenly make me ‘happier’ or anything” Guss nodded at her not pressing it any further as great as a family sounded she doubted it’d fulfil her desire to help people so what was the point

They sat in silence for the rest of the trip until the sound of the ship coming out hyperspace began and they watched the planet of Dubrillion come into view and vibrant planet of reds and greens with large expansive oceans with many white fluffy clouds populating the sky although in some areas those clouds seemed to take on more of a smoggy quality. But then she noticed the large capital ship hovering over the system, she’d read up on it apparently the turret on the bottom could isolate an area and send a barrage of concentrated laser blasts to it, such a weapon made her shudder.

Nonetheless Ash could see why Risha loved her home it was stunning she began piloting down away from the larger cities she could see to the coordinates Risha had given her of Armande’s workshop as they breached the surface Ash turned on the stealth landing in a field not too far away

She put a beacon down to remember where they parked “ok Guss get the personal stealth fields” Guss nodded heading off to get them as Ash planned a route to the workshop apparently his inventions were dangerous and not what he ever intended to make so they’d have to be careful, Ash could only imagine what error had lead to the turrets creation 

She walked out to where Guss was waiting at the edge of the tall grass with the stealth equipment “alright just follow my lead and catalogue all we see” he nodded and they snuck through the grass which was providing ample cover

Soon they arrived at the ridge where a very manmade looking rock jutted out, Ash rolled her eyes this guy was not subtle, she got out the slicer gear and identified the console hidden behind some rocks.

Ash scoffed “I’ve broken into systems with triple layer encryption and this guy has a stack of rocks hiding his let’s just say I’m less than impressed” it was more embarrassing that this guy had captured her and Gacen but then again that was due to his bounty hunter friend

Guss responded “I suppose this must mean the inventions are all the more dangerous for him to have not been fired” Guss may have a point there but she wasn’t sure, nearby she noticed as two large rocks slid apart and she gestured Guss to follow. She sliced into the cameras as they walked in disabling them while they were inside as well as any alarm they would set off.

Soon they were inside and found an array of inventions on display she began to catalogue them down as did Guss, they ranged from all sorts of things, a renewable battery that actually was used as a bomb, an advanced shovel with a razor sharp edge and a conveyor belt that worked better as a garbage disposal. 

Ash chuckled this was the definition of failing upwards, Guss called her over “hey Ash look at this mining vessel” Ash walked over to see the vessel which seemed more like spaceship to her

She looked close and saw it had been renamed submersible she looked at it “well it’s certainly not going to do any mining it would come apart against any hard metal, I doubt it’s amazing as a submersible either” what it did look like though was a quick escape vessel if they were caught out

Guss nodded “I suppose I could test that theory underwater would be less taxing for me than you” he joked “unless you have secret gills” Ash gave him an unamused look and led him away they continued to catalogue the bad inventions until they came to a seperate room

In it they saw a microscope on the farside of the room, Guss went over to it and read “Microscope capable of scanning what it’s looking at simultaneously to showing it” he bent down to the inevitable actual use “High power concentrated laser barrage” Ash’s eyes widened that was like the turret

She walked over and took a look the resemblance was definitely there “this is what that capital ship turret is based of we have to get this thing on record” Guss’ eyes widened putting two and two together

Guss smiled “well we should take it then so he can’t make anymore” Ash nodded that was a good idea but they should make sure it was safe, before she could however Guss had picked it up and a force field appeared around them “wooops” it flickered but seemed to work like a normal force field

Ash stared daggers through him “I was going to say wait it may be trapped” Guss shrunk down his lack of clumsiness was bound to run out at some point

A holo of Armande flickered to life weirdly not facing towards them “well well well trying to steal my prized possession I don’t think so I’ll be back very soon to see who has dared to enter my lab” Ash watched as amalgamated droids appeared from hatches around the room, well getting out of here wasn’t part of the plan but she could adapt...

[eternaleve]

Watching A Broken Frame music videos for the first time!

Carrying on with my Depeche Mode video rewatch project with the vids for A Broken Frame (first post is found here https://eternaleve.tumblr.com/post/624649762286780416/ive-spent-the-course-of-covid-lockdown-cycling)

I looked through my vinyl and found I did not steal my mother’s Depeche Mode singles from this album (I only stole all her Elvis Costello and Joy Division and a bunch of Japan singles which I suspect she snuck to me in hopes of making me like them) but they are all mysteriously gone. My abusive stepdad recently moved out and I have thoughts about what property he took, but this just seems petty. 

Anyway, let’s talk about A Broken Frame! Vince Clarke left the band to go and be the Paul McCartney of 80s electronic music, forming Yazoo and Erasure. Apparently he did not like success and touring and stuff, which is far because it’s a lot of pressure, so he’s out and Alan Wilder is in after responding to an ad in Melody Maker. Remember music journalism? He joined as a tour keyboardist and appears in the videos for the album, but didn’t contribute to the album.

 A Broken Frame was released eleven months after Speak & Spell, which doesn’t seem to be enough time to me for a band to create another whole album's worth of material. It just seems that a band spends a few years perfecting their sound and a selection of songs, and then a record label says, ‘Great! Now do the same thing, but in a much shorter timeframe, under much more stress, and in snatched moments between being shuttled from gig venue to gig venue!’. I understand there’s a ~hype train~ that music acts have to follow, because bands can slip out of notice so fricking quickly, but the pressure does not seem set up to maintain the mental and emotional well-being of people. I’m sure nothing like that will happen in the history of this bad though!

This album cover is considered one of the world’s greatest photographs for a reason. It’s stark and beautiful and has echoes of socialist realism and is just a really striking image. I don’t know who has final say over art direction in the band but whoever does has a great eye for images. The picture is taken over by Duxford and as I’m from the Midlands I have been to Duxford on a hundred school trips (it has a big air centre with WW2 planes and things and bits of the Berlin Wall), so I’ve probably been past this field an uncountable number of times without even realising it.

See You (Jan 1982, No 6 UK charts)

I like how it looks like fuzzy felt. It feels very, very different from the singles art from the last album, I guess to indicate a clear difference in direction? Maybe? This is the first single for the band written by Martin Gore and starting his reign as songwriter.

All the music videos for this album were directed by Julien Temple and are Not Liked by the band. I generally quite like Julien Temple’s work and watched a lot of it as a teen (stepdad being hugely into the Pistols), so I am intrigued to say the least how these will turn out to be.

This does give me a bit of a nostalgia kick for an old-fashioned style train station. It’s pretty much what my home station used to look like before everything was privatised, bought out by Virgin, turned bright red and full of commuters. I like how the station sparks to the beat of the music and that someone okayed an actual spending budget for this time around.

YOU HAVE TO LEAVE THE STATION THE PHOTOBOOTH IS HAUNTED

Not going to lie, this looks 100% like my Dad’s first ever passport photo. I like the addition of the bowtie. It adds a real ‘First Communion’ vibe to the whole look. The nose stud… well, I had a nose stud at the exact same period of my life. Same age too, I think, only mine stayed around a lot longer when it definitely should not have done.

It was at that moment he knew he had made a grave mistake in confronting the ‘Telephone Box Killer’ on his own.

Insert a standard ‘Original Selfie’ joke here. The use of the photobooth gives a cute little through line in the video, as well as giving other band members a chance to be present. I remember using photobooths to take fun photos, before they started costing so much goddamned money and put them only in the most inconvenient places. I still have a bunch that I keep in my purse.

… And now everyone’s working an office job? To show the passage of time? Or because it’s now a bit with music, so we’re showing the use of keyboards through office equipment that sort of requires you to make similar hand movements?

Something, something, statement about technology? The photobooth theme was fine! It was cute! It said something about the regret and passage of time from teen to young adult romance! Why are there now a lot of calculators?

Just in case you forgot - the single’s out now. Wink, wink.

But let’s go back and check in with our corporate overlords. Bob, how are you doing on the spyware floor?

… is this Julien Temple? Is it a music video within a music video? Did he put himself in the video? Could this part not have been done by a member of the band? Like, y’know, that new one who was clearly added in partly through this video?

I like the main core storyline of the video - thinking about a past relationship and then happening to run into them again unexpectedly - but I can see why this is perhaps not well thought of. Next one!

The Meaning of Love (April 82, No 12 UK charts)

This reminds me a lot of the cover for the first Adrian Mole book which was published the same year. It does not match the first single at all or the album, but I guess the album art was yet to be done? Or maybe two different departments handled them, because I would have gone with a different single cover if I knew that one of the greatest photographs of all time was in the wings for the album.

Reader, my heart dropped. I knew we were in for some deeply 80s bullshit. And, like, not good 80s bullshit.

This is the lounge act in the cruiseship of my nightmares

Martin Gore there looking like 99% of the lesbians on the DIY punk scene.

What the fuck is going on?

What, and I must reiterate, the fuck is going on? Are those pies? Pie eyes? Pie eye glasses? What does it mean?

Now’s not the time for your science homework, it’s time to film a music video.

Great, I know what image will be repeating in my night terrors tonight. Martin Gore’s face earnestly singing at me from the depths of a paramecium.

THIS JUST GETS WORSE AND WORSE. THERE IS NO SITUATION ON THE FACE OF THE PLANET MADE BETTER WITH PUPPETS.

No, my night paralysis nightmare will be Dave Gahan’s face turning into a fucking pie over and over and over again.

Oh, I see, the Meaning of Love is that your wife will turn into a bitter harpy that won’t let you live your dream and also your life is ruined because she keeps letting the puppets sleep in the bed.

I guess the video has a sort of XTC vibe? It does remind me of the video of ‘Making Plans for Nigel’, which I do like, but also this video is fucking awful should be seen to be believed. I liked the band’s awkward choreography which was four men showing how much they did not want to be doing any of this.

Leave In Silence (August 82, No 18)

The font is nice. That’s about all there is to say for this. It doesn’t match the other two singles. I’m not saying everything has to be matchy-matchy, but it is nice to have visual similarity and consistency. This looks like the record label gave up on trying.

Okay, so we’ve got the album art sorted and starting out with a - I guess you could call it ‘low rural farming vocalisation’, and neither of these two things match the other singles or music videos, which have had a very poppy, teen girl, Smash Hits vibe. 

This week on The Generation Game, you could win a stainless steel bowl, a cuddly toy, and the lead singer of Depeche Mode!

This video started with a group of people vocalising while pouring out grain and looking very plaguecore, now we’re all playing around on a conveyor belt because I think Julien Temple has run out of ideas and is being artsy and surreal and weird to cover that up.

Ladies and gentleman, I’m sad to say that ‘The Fanciest Little Cowboy’ competition will not be running this year due to a lack of other contestants. This is a very fancy Little Cowboy though.

…. I…. what? 

I have seen many bad, bad, bad cursed images in my time, but this is going straight up to the top. What the fuck does this say about the song? The band? The image the record label is trying to project? This pointless weird imagery for the sake of being pointless and weird.

It’s okay, Jess. Bright Red Martin Gore can’t really hurt you. Only haunt you.

And now spacehoppers. Because of course spacehoppers!

The players from Pathologic show up to make a cameo appearance, matching nothing in the video, and seeming wildly out of place with everything else. Pick a theme or story, Julien! It is EITHER the Generation Game OR a terrifying children’s show OR guttural Soviet inspired plaguecore. You can pick one! Not all of them!

The Blue Man Group really had a rough start. The wheat is… just there. Because I guess Julien Temple couldn’t think of how to organically weave it an advertisement for the album. So there’s just a bundle of wheat for no good reason.

By this point, same, mate. That is the only reaction I am having.

These videos were… not great. I think ‘See You’ is the best and most cohesive - it tells a cute little story that ties in with the themes of the song and provides an emotional resonance. And then things just go off the bloody chain a bit. They get weird and experimental in a way that does not work in selling the band or the song. They seem pretty disconnected from what a music video should be and Julien Temple seemed to just run out of ideas by ‘Leave In Silence’. C- Mr Temple, must try harder.

And then onto Construction Time Again! ... well, when I get round to it. In a few days maybe.

[dacrethehalls]

Rejected

Summary: The Wheeler’s favorite cousin, Savannah is in town for winter break and Billy has his eyes set on her. Too bad she’s not Interested.

A/N: *RE-POSTED FROM MY OLD ACCOUNT* Hope you like it!

******

December. 19th, 1984

"How are you almost taller than me!" I asked, pulling my cousin into a hug. "You were like 5 inches shorter over the summer."

Mike chuckled into my shoulder.

"I have so much to tell you," He whispered, "About Eleven and the upside down."

I guess my reaction was some mixture of horror and shock because Mike instantly held his hands up, shaking his head.

"Everyone is okay...for the most part. And now we have a new party member! At first, I hated her because it seemed like she was trying to replace El, but she turned out to be a total badass."

"Hey! Language!" I warned, ruffling his hair. I turned around as Nancy jumped into my arms hugging me tightly to her. "Awe Nance, I've missed you too. It's only been like four months but I still missed you."

I picked Holly up snuggling her to me,

"Miss Holly Jolly I missed you the most!" I placed kisses all over her face as she burst out into a fit of giggles and squeals as I blew on her tummy making fart noises before sitting her back on her feet.

I wandered into the living room looking for any signs of an adult in the house. To no surprise, my was asleep in his chair, and my aunt was sitting in the kitchen on the phone.

I tiptoed to my Aunt taping her shoulder. She instantly jumped turning to look at me. She opened her mouth a loud squeal leaving her lips.

"Oh, Savannah! I didn't realize you walked in!"

"I just got here, maybe 5 minutes ago. That ride was awful. I am in need of a bottle of wine as soon as possible." I fumed leaning on the counter.

"Oh honey, I was so busy today I haven't had time to go to the store."

I gasped placing my hand over my heart,

"Aunt Karen! You forgot the wine?!" I fell over on the couch dramatically. "What are we going to do?!"

"You are going to go to the store and get a couple of bottles." She looked over at my sleeping uncle in his recliner, "Ted, give Savannah your card so she can run to the store."

He remained asleep snoring louder.

"TED!" Aunt Karen yelled making him jolt up with a loud grunt.

"Savannah! You made it! Welcome home!" He bellowed, pushing himself up and hugging me.

"Ted, Savannah needs to go to the store give her your card."

My uncle patted himself down grabbing his wallet.

"Don't spend too much money!" He joked handing me his credit card.

I turned to my aunt smiling,

"Enough wine for the weekend?" I asked.

"Sounds good!"

I shuffled out to my car headed in the direction of the only store in Hawkins, almost getting in a car crash when a blue Camaro came out of nowhere cutting me off.

I stuck my hand out the window flipping the owner the bird as I passed the car pulling into the parking lot.

Once inside, I all but ran to the wine aisle looking at the small selection I had to choose from.

"Hi."

I turned to see a boy standing next to me scanning the selection of red wines in front of us.

"Hh...Hi?" I mumbled grabbing two bottles of Merlot, one for me and one for my aunt Karen, both of which would be gone before the night was over. The women on my mom's side of the family took our wine very seriously.

"I've never seen you around here. Are you new? What's your name?" He asked giving me a flashy grin.

I looked him up and down letting out a small laugh,

"No. I'm not. And my name is Savannah." I ambled down the aisle, grabbing two bottles of Chardonnay putting it in my basket.

"That's a lot of wine." The boy noticed, following me as I grabbed another bottle of Merlot.

"Why are you whining about my wine? You're not the one drinking it." I quickened my pace to the next aisle, praying to myself that he wouldn't follow me.

"How come I've never seen you around if you aren't new?" He asked.

"There's this awesome place some people go after high school called college."

"Hi, Billy!" A gaggle of girls beamed walking by us and giving me the death glare.

"Ladies," He greeted, giving them a wink and a smile. This dude must be the new panty dropper of Hawkins High School.

I continued to walk down the aisle grabbing a block of Gouda and Gruyere cheese.

"You're in college?" He asked, following me.

"Yeah. I graduated four years ago. I'm just here to see my family for Christmas."

He hummed smiling at me,

"What college are you at?"

"Go Tigers!" I hinted looking down at my purple sweatshirt with the words Clemson University sprawled across it giant orange letters

"How long are you here-"

"Nope we are not going to do this," I interrupted.

"Doing what?"

"I'm not interested." I retreated back to the wine aisle, grabbing one more bottle of Merlot before heading to the cash register.

"Come on princess, you're not even giving me a shot." He whined.

"Your mullet has more personality than you do and that's saying a lot because your hair is hideous."

He let out a deep chuckle following continuing to follow me.

"So at one point you lived here but now you don't because you're in college. Mhmm. Do you have any siblings?"

"I have three cousins and they are like my siblings. My parents travel for a living so I live with my Aunt and Uncle." I explained as we stood in line.

"Who are your cousins? I could know them." He asked taking the wines from me and helping to place them on the conveyor belt.

"Nancy, Mike and Holly Wheeler." He perked up smiling.

"My little sister Maxine is good friends with Mike. He's a great kid!"

"And let me guess, you go to school with Nancy?" I proposed as he shook his head.

"Nah, I'm 23, I've been here for about a year."

I laughed out loud, snatching the wine bottle out of his hand. "That's such a lie. You're way too tan to live here for a year. I'd say you are about 17 years old and have been here for maybe six months."

"Okay, okay. You got me on that. I moved here four months ago. But I am 23."

I rolled my eyes moving up in line,

"Okay well if you're that old then why don't you buy me a bottle of wine. You're old enough to make alcoholic purchases."

Billy stared at me, jutting his tongue out between his lips, more than likely trying to figure out an excuse to why he wouldn't be able to buy the wine. Finally giving up he sighed.

"Fine, I'm 17. I'll be 18 before April. Age is just a number."

I paid for my things walking out leaving the boy behind. I trudged out to my car, putting my things in my trunk.

"SAVANNNNAH" I turned around to be tackled by a floppy-haired boy.

"Little Harrington!" I squealed wrapping my arms around his neck. He hugged me tightly to him.

"You're back!"

"I am!"

I had known Steve since he was born, being the kid brother of my best friend, Alex.

******

December 22. 1984

I parked my car in front of the Arcade getting out with Mike and Will. "This is what you guys do for fun now? I was ready to play D&D with you." I moaned making both the boys laugh.

We all walked up as a blue Camaro pulled up and a tiny redhead got out.

"Bye Maxie! Love you! Hi Savannah!" A voice chimed as we walked to her.

"What the fu-" Mike began,

I flicked his ear, causing him to yelp out in pain.

"Michael, language." I bent over looking at who was in the car, rolling my eyes instantly. It was the kid from the store from the other night

The boys introduced me to Max and El, both girls being ecstatic to meet me, especially El. Not only did Mike talk about me, so did my uncle Jim. He wasn't actually my uncle, he had worked with my parents for years at the station before they both decided to retire and travel after I graduated.

******

"Hey, Savannah" Keith giggled, standing beside me.

I ignored him keeping my focus on Galaga and beating the number one high score.

"You know, I keep asking Mike to set me up with you or Nancy but he won't." He alerted, poking me on my arm.

I turned, punching him in the bicep and making his bag of cheese puffs fly everywhere,

"That's because Mike loves and cares about Nancy and I's well being."

I heard a deep chuckle as arm slinked around my shoulder.

"Beat it freak, she doesn't need a loser like you bothering her."

I looked over to see Billy.

"You should take your own advice" I suggested, moving Billy's arm as Mike and Will walked over to me, both squeezing between each of my tormenters.

I smiled placing a kiss on both boys cheeks,

"My bodyguards."

Both boys simultaneously wiped their faces with a groan. I chuckled at their disgust before looking at Billy and Keith who was still standing there looking at me.

"Can we go home and play DnD now? Please?" I begged as the rest of the kids made their way over to us.

"I'll talk Aunt Karen into letting us all have a sleepover, the girls can sleep in mine or Nancy's room."

Their eyes lit up at the idea of a DnD slumber party. They all but pulled me to my car leaving my two tormentors behind.

******

December. 31st, 1984

"Apparently he is the new keg king" I whispered to my friend, Alex as we watched Billy beat his chest like Tarzan after doing another keg stand.

"Is that how lame we looked when we were in high school?" I asked, grimacing at all the teenagers that showed up uninvited to the party we were having for our friends we graduated with.

Billy wiped his mouth on his sleeve, eyeing me and strutting over.

"So...are you drunk enough to think I'm hot."

"There is no amount of alcohol in the world that will make me drunk enough to find you attractive. Listen, bud, I'm so far out of your league that we're not even playing the same sport. So will you please give it a rest."

"You playing hard to get just fuels my fire, princess." He slurred, sloppily leaning forward and puckering his lips.

"Call me princess one more time and I'll make you wish you hadn't," I warned, taking Alex's cup and drinking the contents of it.

"Oh, come on, princess."

I reached out grabbing both of Billy's nipples, twisting them making him jump away in pain.

"The princess is kinky.. I love it."

"I am not drunk enough for this."

Alex busted out laughing, earning him a sharp glare.

"Harrington, I won't hesitate to kill you" I mumbled.

Billy looked between Alex and I, confusion setting in.

"Harrington? As in Steve?"

"No, Harrington, as in leave."

Alex kept laughing, sticking his hand out.

"I'm Steve's older brother Alex. And if I were you I would leave Savannah alone...or it'll get ugly."

"There isn't anything ugly about you," Billy smirked at me.

I groaned, turning to Alex and grabbing his shirt, pulling him to me and pressing my lips to his. The kiss was revolting, like really really bad, neither of us was into it...especially Alex but he got what I was trying to do so he went with it until Billy walked away.

I scrunched up my nose, wiping my face,

"That was bad. I'm sorry, but he won't leave me alone." I apologized.

"I have an Idea on how you can make him stop."

"What?"

"Beer Pong. Give him a taste of Queen Savannah." Alex smirked.

It wasn't that bad of an idea. Back when I was a student at Hawkins High School, I was considered the Queen. My only legacy being the undefeated champion of beer pong. Which now, looking back, seemed really lame.

I made my way through the crowded house until I spotted the taller, lankier version of Alex.

"Stevie! You're on my team!" I mused, grabbing his arm and pulling him to the beer pong table.

"Listen here you little shit," I yelled pelting a ping-pong ball at the cocky mullet wearing dickbag's head. "I have a proposition for you. We play around of beer pong. You win I'll go on a date with you. I win, you leave me and my family alone. That includes Steve. He's my like my little brother"

Billy cracked his knuckles licking his lips. "Sounds like a deal to me, princess."

******

We lost. 6 cups left. I was beyond drunk but still not drunk enough to be able to bring myself to go on a date with Billy.

"Can I have your number so I can call you?" He asked with a smile.

"No, I'm going home," I muttered looking for Nancy and her newest boyfriend, Jonathan.

"But the rules were you lose you go on a date with me." He reminded, walking behind me.

I let out a long groan before turning around,

"Okay fine, but you still have to leave my family and their friends alone. Got it? my aunt's number is 605-475-6968." I grumbled, grabbing a pen from my purse hastily writing my number down in the worst possible way I could.

"Got it. I'll be calling you soon princess, to set up a date."

"I can't wait."

******

January 2nd, 1985

"Okay, I believe I have everything." I huffed, hauling my suitcase down the stairs. I hugged Mike and then Nancy. "Love you guys"

I placed a kiss on Uncle Ted's cheek who was passed out in his chair before giving my aunt Karen a hug.

"I'll call you when I get home. I love you" I announced, hugging her tighter.

"I love you too baby girl. Drive safely and we'll see you in April for spring break!"

I gave each of my family members one last hug before heading out to my car.

"Thank you booger. I hope I'm not forgetting anything, it really feels like I am."

Mike just gave a shrug, putting my suitcase in the trunk.

"That just means you have to come home sooner" He grinned, hugging me one more time.

******

Later that day

Driving back home, I still had the sense that I was forgetting something back in Hawkins

And then it dawned on me.

I forgot about Billy.

I forgot about the date I promised him I would go on if I lost a round of beer pong against him.

I started laughing uncontrollably at the thought of Billy showing up to my Aunt and Uncle's house expecting me to be there. More than likely dressed in his best attire, a button up shirt that wasn't buttoned up enough and a pair of waist-high jeans that were tight enough to make him look like he has an ass.

There was always spring break.

Or summer break.

Or never, which was the idea that I liked the most.

[caroline18mars]

A Man On Fire - Chapter 60

Was it months, days that she followed the same regime of staring at the ceiling inbetween crying her heart out? Did it matter? She could barely eat, even getting up to shower or going to the toilet was almost too much to ask. All that kept buzzing around her head was the image of him..oh he had called and texted alright, every message unread and every call unanswered until her battery went dead and that's how she left it, she had no need to talk to anyone, she didn't have a phone before all this and that's how she wanted to keep it. Who would miss not hearing from her? Nobody, once a loner always a loner and once again he had proven to her that me, myself and I was the best option possible. Her own bed here in the heart of New York was the only place she wanted or needed to be, slowly she got up to get something to drink, catching her own reflection in the huge mirror that leaned against the wall in the corridor..she stopped, her curves had made way for a stick figure look, her eyes red-rimmed and hollow staring back at her, he would've loved me more if I had looked like this from the beginning, all his women always looked like this, dangerously thin, hollow-eyed. Let it go, Coco..he was never yours to begin with, you fell for his little scheme hook, line and sinker, the joke's on you..he replaced you with that girl and she's the one sleeping with him, getting fucked by him every night..she clapped her hand over her mouth as she started gagging and ran to the bathroom, throwing up nothing but bile. When she was done, she curled up on the cold tile floor, it was fine here, she didn't have any energy left to drag herself back to bed and cried her heart out for the millionth time.

Shannon approached his brother gently, for weeks he had been severely depressed, getting up, calling her several times a day, hardly eating, show, not sleeping, repeat..it was heartbreaking to watch how he flipped on the 'actor' switch in himself, acting all normal to everyone else while he knew that he was slowly dying on the inside. “Hey..managed to get some sleep?” he knew the answer already but what else was there to ask these days? Jared stopped staring at his breakfast with a disgusted look on his face, “some..” he shrugged and let his fork clatter against the plate while Shannon sat down in front of him. “I'll be glad to get back to the States tonight” he sighed looking at Jared's reaction who suddenly bit his lip nervously and tried to avoid the subject, “I mean, finally you can go and see her” he pushed, “and say what? Nobody's phone is switched off for weeks on end, she's probably taken another number so it's clear she doesn't want anything to do with me anymore..and I can't blame her”. For the first time ever, it dawned on him that his little brother had started to look his age, wrinkles of worry around his eyes, pale face, scruffy beard..it was painful to see him suffer this way, apart from Cameron he had never seen him this distraught after a break-up.

The doorbell rang and she actually felt it ring through her body, no, I don't care, I don't want to open that door, no it wasn't him because he was still on tour back in Europe, her hands shaking she picked up the doorphone. Five minutes later her canvases, drawings, brushes were being brought inside, on automatic pilot she scribbled her signature on the palmtop , it was all here..he'd sent it and she hadn't asked for it, confirming once again that he was through with all her nonsense, she was done with it too, she didn't need it either, she hated being confronted with it again, but what could she do? Tell these guys to keep it, or throw it somewhere in a bin? “Thanks” she was too tired to even force a smile and closed the door on their way out. Confrontational? Too many memories? Heartbreaking and painful? Tick all those boxes. She plodded over to her fridge and took out the last bottle, was it that time already where you try to gather your life back together? She wiped her sleeve over her eyes, I need to stop crying, just not now, not ever, sipping from the bottle she plodded over to the middle of her room and plopped down to the floor, stretching her painful muscles until she just lay there, completely still and looking out of the roof window, lightpolution was a thing in NY so she couldn't really see the stars but goddammit could they just stop twinkling, there was absolutely no reason for it.

Do I want wi-fi? Why the hell would I need wi-fi on a plane? It's not as if I'm gonna suddenly get a reply to my 1500th mail I've sent, so just leave me alone and get me a goddamn drink, you flying waitress. Jared leaned back in his seat with a growl, he didn't want to go home, back in Europe he felt closer to her than going back to the country where she actually was, the fuck was that all about? Too fuckin scared and no balls to actually go to her apartment and confront her, scared of getting the door slammed in his face, it was easier to see this silence as some kind of way of still being connected somehow, pretending she just needed time to cool down and after that she would just call or mail him and tell him she'd forgiven him. Every time the thought crossed his mind, his heart jumped in hope, only to plummeth straight back down realizing it was just a daydream, she wasn't coming back and she was never gonna forgive him for what he'd done, why would she? He shuddered just thinking about her loathing him as much as he loathed himself, when she left he had lost everything, his heart was ripped out of his chest that day, and from then on every fibre in his body was high strung and numb, he didn't feel anymore, he didn't care about anything anymore, he just didn't live anymore, he had become a vampire, sleeping the day away so he wouldn't have to feel anything and only coming back to life at night on a stage.

Moaning she tried to sit up, sleeping on a cold floor had frozen every limb in her body, her throat was dry and sore, where was her bag? There were some throat drops in there somewhere. She stumbled across the room, there it was, rummaging through her bag, her phone fell out, leave it, nothing interesting on there..but she was hungry..maybe order something? Her thumb was pushing down on the button and it quietly singsonged back to life after weeks, her code..where was that number of the local Chinese restaurant, I must have a menu here somewhere. Behind her, a cacophony of bleeps and noise startled her..what the fuck, she took the menu but she couldn't even use the phone app as notifications kept piling up on her screen, no I don't care..I'm just gonna call the restaurant and then switch it off again, I don't want to see it and I don't want to read it, I don't fucking care! Boiling with anger she punched in the numbers and barked her order, throwing the phone on the counter in disgust after it was done, she just needed to sit down and slowly buried her head in her arms, through the tiny holes in the knitwear of her jumper she glared at the phone that kept lighting up like a christmas tree. Wait what date was it? It was december, right? Wasn't it her birthday soon or maybe it had already gone by without her knowing? Her fingers tiptoed over the counter, sliding the dreaded device closer, it was the 10th, 8 days to go till her birthday..a lonely birthday..but what else was new? She didn't want to but her eyes slid over the notifications, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared, Jared..disgusted she pushed the phone away again, only reading the name had the tears streaming down her face until the doorbell rang and food was  being handed to her. Why were these noodles cold already? How long had she been staring at the wall lost in her thoughts? Sighing she pushed a biteful of cold noodles in her mouth, she had to eat if she wanted this thumping headache to stop, while her hand reached for the phone again, if she deleted them now plus his number and everything to do with him, she could maybe turn a leaf and start over.

The entire Mars tribe that flocked together around a luggage conveyor belt in an airport, how many times had he done this already? Let someone else get his bag, he was heading for the exit, stretch his legs, without her he felt older somehow. Walking past a tax free store full of designer handbags, he paused, that bag..it was the same bag she had admired  with in Europe, she'd said that she could never afford it and had walked away with a heavy heart, she wasn't a material girl but that bag she had fallen in love with. I'll buy it, it's her birthday in a few days..Once again he was painfully reminded that there was no more 'them', please don't let her spend her birthday on her own, the thought alone was killing him right now, who was gonna make her breakfast in bed? Shower her with gifts, take her out to dinner and organize her birthday party? She'd told him that no-one had ever done that for her before and that she was really looking forward to things being different this year..his breath got stuck in his throat, walk away, just get out of here you arrogant, stupid prick.

From: BJLCubbins

To: HCDeRobiano

Subject: please

My darling Harper,

I keep wishing and hoping to see some sort of reply from you, I don't even care anymore if it's filled with insults or accusations, because I deserve them, I deserve every single one of them. But even though I check my phone a million times a day there's never anything.

I know what I did is unforgivable..but this silence, your silence, it is ripping me apart, killing me, destroying me.

Even if you can't ever forgive me, just talk to me, I'm begging you, I'm nothing without you.

I love you, forever and always

Jared.

Mail number 500 or something, she intended on deleting them all, but then there's always something, a word that catches your eye, pulling you in to read one, and if you read one, you just have to read them all, even if you're just ripping your heart out all over again. When was this mail sent though? She looked at the date, only a day ago..she scrolled again and saw that even today she had gotten 5 mails from him, no don't let him do this, he just wants to get a reaction to satisfy and flatter his immense male ego. The minute you react he'll back off again, he doesn't care about you one bit, he just wants to let you think he does with these hundreds of mails, but if he loves you so much why did he run off to fuck that girl and who knows how many more? Just leave me alone, Jared, I've got no more love or heart left to give because you took it all away that night. Harper took the phone and shoved it further away from her on the counter, just stop Jared, just let me lick my wounds and disappear from my life, you're nothing more than a heartattack to me.

[charmingturkeysandwich]

I Could Use a Love Song Ch. 3: don’t need no reason or happy hour

Chapter 3 of my Country Singer!Emma AU is here. I added a tag on AO3 for alcohol abuse, because while I don’t think we have true alcoholism here... Emma’s coping mechanisms are shit and the heavy drinking isn’t the healthiest. I wanted to make sure that I added that warning here as well. Please don’t use alcohol like Emma does here. I know from experience it’s hella bad news. Find a therapist! This is actual advice, not a joke. For reals. Emma should have just gone to a counselor instead of making appointments with Jose Cuervo and Jack Daniels. If anyone has treated you the way this iteration of Neal treated Emma, talk to someone. If you can’t afford a therapist, talk to me. Seriously, no lie, no joke, I’m only alive today because I eventually adopted a dog and sought counseling to cope with life’s many traumas.

Mmmmkkay enough babbling. 

Also on AO3

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Their next few gigs were some of the best in Emma’s (admittedly tequila-hazed) memory, and for once that glimmer of hope for that future of fame and fortune… well, it felt like a hell of a lot more than a glimmer.

The crowds had been rowdy, raucous, and ready to sing along to every song on their whole set. A few people even more some of the merch Killian had started selling at the door, nothing fancy of course, but it made her heart burst with pride nonetheless.

It had all gotten so real, so achievable, so close to everything she’s been dreaming about before she ever really knew that dreams were a thing that could come true.

So of course something was about to bring back the quasi-comfort of her life always reverting to being a waking nightmare.

That was a deeply melodramatic way of putting it – it’s not like she was being beaten or shamed or any of the daily torments her tiny town had ensured were burned into her brain. But that was the problem with the past, wasn’t it? It wasn’t over, even when it was. Those days were past but they would always somehow be present, replaying in her brain and aching in her heart no matter how far from Pennsylvania their little van puttered.

(Whoever said you can’t go home again neglected to mention how hard it was to leave it, even after you’d physically gone.)

It had been a Tuesday. In some chain grocery store outside Virginia Beach, the sun glowing through the big front windows and the icy chill of the air conditioning raising goosebumps on her bare arms. Emma had only echoes of a hangover, so Ruby’s constantly chatting wasn’t nearly as grating as it could be. They moved slowly through the aisles, tossing various food and supplies in their cart, more than fulfilling the list Graham and Mary Margaret had given them.

They were still struggling artists but some weeks the struggle was… less. This was one of them and if they decided to celebrate with Patron instead of Jose Cuervo and fresh, organic honeycrisp apples instead of Great Value brand dried apple chips, well, it’s because they damn well deserved it.

They couldn’t have been more than a few feet away from the checkout when the radio (a constant calming presence, most days, being the object of their ambition and all) caused her heart to drop to the deepest pits of her gut, twisting her insides until she was nearly dry-heaving to get the gross sensation of feelings out of her body and in the sewer system where it belonged.

They say scent is tied to memory, and it surely is, but there’s something, too, in sound. Music had a distinct way of tying itself to a moment, to a feeling. For some people that feeling was joy, was love, could be better than the best drug to intoxicate them with no risk of hangover. But for Emma, for this song in particular, it was all hangover, no high.

I’m set on cruise control

I’m slowly losing hold of everything I got

You’re looking so damn hot

The lyrics were innocuous enough. Sweet. Loving. There was certainly some couple out there – many, probably – who smiled fondly at each other when it came on. But for her, it was just a reminder of how pathetic she’d been, once upon a time, how deeply manipulated she’d been. And oh, the consequences she’d suffered for falling for a sweet voice and a pretty face and a moment that had felt like a country song.

And I don’t know what road we’re on

Or where we’ve been, from starin at you, girl

All I know is I don’t want this night to end

It had been a song she’d listened to in Neal’s truck, on a back road, the moon high and the stars bright and her heart hammering in her chest before he leaned over the center counsel parked in his daddy’s field and kissed her like she was precious, like she was, like he could love her through this life and the next.

And even today, half-hungover in a Piggly Wiggly or whatever the fuck this place was, she still felt the whisper of butterflies in her. She still remembered how much she’d believed the lies and even hoped the bad stuff wasn’t actually real, holding on to nights like that first one, her and Neal seemingly the only two people on Earth and all she’d ever need to feel whole again.

Emma Swan was a fighter, a survivor, a strong, badass woman that no man would ever hurt again.

But one Luke Bryan song on a clear Tuesday afternoon had her so torn up in shame, she almost forgot her best friend was standing beside her, her little “family” of a band and crew waiting for her back at the block of hotel rooms down the road.

She wasn’t in Pennsylvania. Neal wasn’t anywhere near her. But she could practically smell his cologne and the exhaust of his truck and the fact that there was a tiny part of her that truly still wished it had all worked out, that he’d been the happily ever after she’d wanted, and she wanted to slap herself silly for how stupid one smart girl could be.

“I think we can afford some Reese’s mix, right?” Ruby asked, already tossing two bags in the cart as they entered the self-checkout line.

“Yeah,” was all Emma could respond, her traitor brain still wavering between wishing for an alternate ending to her stupid, sad tale and coming totally clean to Ruby about what horrors she’d suffered and hitting the road with her on a revenge-fueled quest to keep that fucker from ever hurting another sweet, could-be-innocent girl ever again.

“Emma, you with me?” Ruby’s voice was hesitant, her eyes wide as she took in Emma’s likely ghost-pale complexion and battle-ready stance.

(She was always fighting those internal ghosts and damn could those things travel.)

But she didn’t want to think about Neal or the bruises long-healed or how she wishes she could time travel back and prevent the most painful part of what that monster had done to her, the part where for a pretty little minute she truly thought she’d loved him.

No. The past might be doing its damnedest to creep into today but she was not going to let it.

Fuck you, Luke Bryan, and all your pelvic sorcery.

“God, I hate this song,” Emma finally croaked out. “I think we should celebrate today.”

“Celebrate how much you hate a song that I’m fairly sure David would kill you for hating?”

“No, Rubes. Celebrate this,” Emma motioned all around them, somewhat erratically, only serving to further confuse Ruby. At least for a moment. “We’re really getting somewhere, aren’t we? I mean, three hotel rooms. That’s, like, a record. We’re getting somewhere. You and I, we came from some shit, right? And now we’re headed toward something good and I think we should celebrate.”

“And how exactly do you propose we celebrate this? Because if it’s by having a four-way with Graham and Killian I’m absolutely in, with just a couple ground rules – “

Emma cut off her teasing before her brain had enough time to make any visuals of that: “Ew. God, no. Why does your brain even go there? No. I just meant, you know, hitting some bars or the beach or something. Day drinking. It’s the ultimate in enjoyment and not giving a fuck.”

“So you’re suggesting we celebrate the good the same way we drown our sorrows in the bad?” Ruby mocked, tossing the groceries on the conveyor belt and a packet of mints at Emma’s head.

“No, you drink your sorrows in the dark. You drink your celebrations when the sun’s out,” Emma said like it was the most normal, accepted thing in the world, like she was reciting it from a code of conduct instead of having made it up on the spot to cover for the fact that she very much, one hundred percent was drowning her sorrows but just didn’t have the patience to wait for the sun to set.

“Sure, Ems. Let’s go with that.” Ruby clearly wasn’t buying her bullshit – she always did have an excellent bullshit detector – but she went along with it all the same.

Emma paid for the groceries and hefted as many bags to the car as she could possibly carry, the burn in her arms like the warmth of the sun as she flip-flopped her way to the awaiting van, a great day of drinking and forgettingahead of her.

The usual six of them turned into seven that day, Killian’s old buddy from the service having been stationed at the naval base in Norfolk and here for a visit. Will, that was his name, and he was a pain in the ass in the very best way. He had been matching her shot-for-shot in the hotel room before they hopped the Uber to The Cove, a beachside bar favored by locals and tourists alike. He would tease her and taunt her and buy her drinks, but with absolutely the energy of a brother and not a I’m looking to get into your pants kind of way.

David saw her as a sister, sure, but he tended toward the serious, the protective. He cared so much and knew too much, and it kept him from being totally lighthearted or even downright rude. And Graham, well he never paid Emma quite that much attention, always on his own quests and whatnot. She couldn’t blame the guy, and truly she didn’t usually want attention, but there was something about today, something about the casual nature of her exchanges with Will that allowed her to just be free.

Killian wasn’t quite on board, though. Ever since she and Ruby had floated the idea of some casual no-show-tonight fun, he’d been weirdly quiet. Mary Margaret and David were notably excited, seeming to view it as an opportunity for date night, even with the five other tagalongs. And Ruby was pretty much always up for a party.

But Killian seemed to be cranky at her and she couldn’t figure out why.

“Let loose, why don’t you, Jones!” Emma shouted across the bar, Killian nursing a rum and coke while Ruby, Will, and Emma had joined another group of probable-tourists in a limbo competition.

“Eh, let him sulk,” Will had suggested, stumbling a little after returning to the upright position. He was suspiciously good at the limbo. Maybe he’d been a gymnast in another life?

“I’ll get him, Em,” Ruby promised, having fallen flat on her ass after the last round (the responding ooooohhhhhhshaving more to do with her skirt riding up to her waist as she fell than it was about the fall itself).

Ruby had spent the next hour or so in the corner with Killian, both steadily drinking but never really coming to re-join the party. So Emma and Will kept socializing with strangers while Graham flirted hard with a pretty girl and Mary Margaret and David found another grossly into each other couple to apparently double date with, because of course they did.

After a few drinking games, a few messy dances, and definitely too much liquor for before 5pm, Emma finally took a break, she and Will sidling up to the bar and ordering some nachos.

“Y’know, you’re not nearly as pretty as Killian described you,” Will said after a few minutes of nacho-focused silence.

“Hey! I think you’re insulting me and I don’t appreciate it,” Emma responded, cheese dripping down the corner of her mouth.

“Way he talks, you’d think you were a bleeding fallen angel or something. I definitely didn’t expect a hot mess who talked with her mouth full.”

“Hah! You said hot. I still got it,” she joked, chomping down on another cheese and chili covered chip.

Emma had become pretty good at reading people – people tended to adapt after you suffering the consequences of falling for it – and Will definitely wasn’t flirting with her. At least not with actual intent. So why on earth had he brought up her looks?

She was happy to play along with whatever game he had going, was even feeling a little bolder and more confident than usual with his carefree attitude and his backward compliments.

But his next comment was the proverbial bucket of ice on any of those feelings.

“He’s a good man, Emma. I hope you don’t toy with him.”

“Excuse me?” What exactly was this fucker accusing her of? She hadn’t even talked to Killian since they’d been at the hotel and she certainly hadn’t been mean. No, even at her most prickly, she was never all-out mean to him. He was a good guy, the type to hold your hair when you puked and nearly the opposite of her initial assumptions about him. Of course she’d never ‘toy with him.’ The fucking nerve of this dude.

“I don’t think you know me enough to continue those thoughts, Scarlet,” she warned, shoving the nachos away and downing her fruity drink.

“Don’t get me wrong. I like you, Emma. You’d make a good mate. But I’m more like you than you realize, and I know how many people I hurt before I got myself straight. Just … keep that in mind, won’t ya?”

And then the bastard just… left.

He didn’t say goodbye to anyone – not even to Killian – and left Emma pissed as all hell and sitting alone at a tourist trap in the worst city in all of Virginia.

So much for that attempt at celebration.

But before her thoughts (and actions) could turn to the dark side, Graham and David were approaching her for a friendly tournament of darts and after a couple bulls eyes and a little light taunting, her carefree spirit had returned, just in time to kick Mary Margaret’s ass and move onto the championship game between her and Killian.

“So, that friend of yours is something,” Emma observed, tossing her first set of darts and landing them with soft thunks into the felt.

“Will? Aye. He’s… he’s been a friend for quite a long time. There for me for some pain. So I choose to keep his pain-in-the-ass existence around.” His tone was light and his words sincere, but there was a weight to his expression that Emma didn’t quite understand.

He took his turn, little glints in his eye and mini-fist pumps when he hit his intended target. It was adorable, to be honest. But there was definitely something wrong and despite Will’s seeming accusations about her and her abilities to be a good friend, she wanted nothing more than to take away whatever pain he was reliving at the moment.

So she lost – yes, intentionally – and dragged him to the bar, ordering him some straight whiskey to loosen him up and hopefully to help him forget like she already was.

“Why, Swan, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to get me drunk,” he practically purred, breaking the flirty tone with a gentle boop to her nose. “Which is usually my tactic.”

“Easy, Captain,” she joked with him, fiddling with the prosthetic ‘hook’ contraption he wore when they went out (it’s a perfect beer holder, he’d said, to which she’d responded yeah, right, you just want to play pirate).

Despite the fog of the liquor, a few facts clicked into place. He’d suffered some bad shit in his past, shit Will apparently witnessed. Killian had also lost his hand, probably in the Navy. And this town, it wasn’t far from a navy base. Could that have been his navy base? Had they inadvertently brought Killian to the scene of the crime, so to speak?

The way she never wanted to go back to her ‘hometown,’ the place she’d lived the longest and suffered the most… what if that’s how he felt here? What if she’d suggested they celebrate over the grave of whatever and whoever he lost?

God, she was a hot mess and she was dangerous, the way she sank into her pain without looking into anyone else’s.

Before she could talk herself out of it, she wanted to apologize. Or something. “I’m sorry about this. Or, I guess, about whatever led to this. Or accompanied it. I’m just… I’m just sorry?”

“For the ungodly amount of liquor you’re pressuring me into drinking? Don’t worry, love, I’m a big boy.”

Ugh, the deflection. She knew that tactic well. “No, I mean this,” she said, gripping the elbow of his damaged arm. “I don’t know what happened and I’m not asking, but I just want you to know that I’m sorry. Not in the fault kind of way. Just the way where I wish it hadn’t happened and I know there’s pain and you didn’t deserve it. Or don’t. Currently. You know what I mean.”

“I think you’re drunk off your ass, darling.”

“Call me darling one more time and you’ll be the one on your ass.”

“So defensive, jeez,” he quipped, finishing another drink and slamming the glass back down on the table, his face melting into something a little more serious, if only for a moment. “Thank you, Swan,” he said finally, cupping her cheek with his right hand.

Her heart about stopped as his eyes bored into hers. It was much too much, the closeness, the feel of his hand, the heat of his body, the truth in his eyes, and all she wanted was to go back to teasing and laughing and strangers who didn’t have feelings or at least didn’t share them with her and why did she even bring it up, anyway? Just because Will had made her feel bad? Why shouldn’t they drink away their pain if it quieted the demons for one blessed day? Why should we have to suffer the same memories over and over when instead we could just fucking let go.

She should have just stuck to letting go.

But his intense sincerity washed away in a blink, his flirty near-pirate persona back with a vengeance. “Now, Swan, what game shall I best you at next?” His gentle caress on her cheek turned into a full grip, his fingers scrunching her face almost comically.

“Name it, Jones. You’re on.”

Turns out their little crew had signed them all up for a cornhole tournament out on the sand and Graham had called dibs on Emma as a partner, for which she was thankful. He was pretty boss at all bar games, and she had a competitive streak even without her BAC being higher than her high school GPA.

But get her drunk and she’d pretty much lie, cheat, and steal her way to bragging rights on whatever silly game they were playing.

So of course she and Graham had made it to the finals, their opponents two bikini-clad college girls who could trash talk like no other.

Which is why Emma was totally fine with the little plot she had brewing in her head.

“Graham, we need distractions here.”

“What do you mean, like have Mary Margaret set something on fire again?”

“Oh, come on. Pretty girls. Fun, happy, drunk, pretty girls. I saw them ogling you earlier so they’re probably straight. Take your shirt off. Now!”

“I always said I’d reject your advances when you inevitably tried to get me naked, Swan, but you drive a hard bargain.”

Emma rolled her eyes, but Graham did as instructed, stretching lazily and pantomiming sweat before pulling at the neck of his t-shirt and whisking it over his head.

The girls missed their next shots, and Graham had the chance to win it with this last toss and Emma was ready to bust out her victory dance just a tad prematurely.

Until the brunette untied her bikini top and let the fabric fall to her waist just as Graham was taking his shot.

He missed, of course.

Damn, these girls were good.

“Can I be of assistance?” a husky voice offered, his breath ticking her ear lobe.

Killian, of course.

“What exactly can you offer, Jones?” Graham swooped in to ask, clearly annoyed that his bare chest hadn’t yet won them the game.

“Well, Graham, Emma here assures me that you’re one ‘fine specimen of man’ but sadly to those girls you’re all talk and no action, across the beach from them, separated by this very game. I think they need something a little more… tactile.”

Killian was over-confident when he was drinking, but it’s not as if he were wrong. If she were one of those girls and Killian came up to her, with his sultry accent and his maddening smirk and the way he’d run his fingers through her long hair…

Yeah, it would work. Definitely. Yup.

“Go for it, Jones, but don’t come crying to us if they don’t take to your charms the way you want them to,” Emma warned, rolling her eyes and banishing all inappropriate thoughts of Killian Jones to the dark recesses of her mind with her knowledge of calculus and the memory of that time she walked in on Mary Margaret sucking David off in their shared kitchen back in Pittsburgh.

Killians voice alone proved distracting enough for the blonde girl to miss her shot and Graham, his ego now challenged, sank his with ease.

Emma cheered far too loud and leaped into Graham’s arms, her legs around his waist, Ruby rushing up to high five them and pass along a few more shots to keep the day rolling.

By the time the sun sank behind the bar, the ocean in front of them streaked with the deep blues and purples of twilight, Emma was well past drunk and definitely no longer thinking of any painful backstories or traumas or anything, really, but the cinnamon burn of the Fireball and the feel of Killian’s arm around her as they walked down a set of stairs to a fire pit so much like those that she’d built on the banks of the Allegheny and yet so different, the smell of the salt of the ocean and the leather of Killian’s jacket keeping her brain from connecting the present to the past.

“Jones, haven’t you ever heard you’re supposed to keep your hands to yourself in the presence of a lady?” she teased, wiggling her shoulders where he was grasping her.

“Aye, but I see no ladies here!” He chuckled and she elbowed him and he bowed his head to her ear as they stepped down the last stair. “Besides, love, what if you’d fallen and no one was there to save you?”

She rolled her eyes again, shrugging off his support now that there was no excuse for it, solid ground beneath their feet. “Oh, I’m a loud screamer. Someone would have come for me.”

“Oh, how I’d like to experience both of those things for myself…” Killian groaned, his mind of course solidly in the gutter.

Emma just laughed it off and stumbled toward the fire, joining Mary Margaret and David on a log clearly only meant for two.

Tomorrow was going to be hell, definitely more than just the echo of a hangover. But they had hotel rooms and each other and now and really those things alone made every minute of tomorrow’s inevitable headache more worth it than she could ever have fathomed in any stage of her life before this one.

[new2fivesauce]

Please Don’t Regret Me - 3. Bad News First

Please Don’t Regret Me - 3. Bad News First

Warnings: Cursing

March 2018 - 5sos III Tour

If there was anything worse than a delayed flight, it was definitely a luggage conveyor. LAX just had to have the slowest working conveyor of all time. Nelle tapped her foot impatiently. She had two suitcases placed beside her; She needed three more before she could leave the place. She tapped away on her phone, ordering an Uber to pick her and the men of her life up. She glanced at the luggage belt, looking for black suitcases with either orange, red, or blue duct tape on the handles. Nothing.

Uber confirmed her ride and she sheathed her phone into the back pocket of her ripped black jeans. She yawned into the sleeve of her oversized black hoodie. The flight from Milan to Los Angeles had her extremely jet lag. The beginning leg of the III Tour already had her running on nothing but coffee and energy drinks with the occasional instant ramen or breakfast pastry. She needed real food asap.

She took a look behind her to see that Ashton, Michael, Calum, and Luke were not as affected by the different time zones. They were goofing around, playing hide and seek behind the airport benches and fake plants. Her eyes lingered on Luke. He was crouched down behind a pillar, his mouth covered by the sleeve of his jacket to contain his laughter as Ashton wandered around the area looking for him.

She couldn’t help thinking about the past couple of days that they’d been traveling Europe. Luke had bunked in her room 3 nights and had fought to get to sit next to her on their flight to LA. He had pushed Calum out the way, forcing him to sit between Ashton and Michael. Their nights they’d spent together were no different than the night following the release of Want You Back. They were spent watching Netflix, eating food, and innocently flirting with one another. Thinking of those nights gave Nelle butterflies and made her head feel light. What was the deal with Luke?

He was just Luke. Calum’s best friend. He was a jerk sometimes when he was hungry or sleepy. He liked pho and croissants. He was a blond giant who before only conversed with Nelle when he needed to. He wasn't mean to her or ever lashed out at her when something didn’t go his way. She assumed he just knew that her job was basically to babysit them and get them from point A to point B with the occasional errand here and there. Now he was insistent on them being partnered up for everything, but never made it obvious to his bandmates. For a moment, Nelle thought it was part of a cruel prank, but figured that Calum would never let him to do that her; Calum was extremely protective of Nelle. He’d probably disband the lot if Luke ever did something so malicious.

She shook her head. She needed to get it together. And quickly.

---

“Again.” Johnny, the sound producer, mumbled into the microphone. Luke rolled his eyes, adjusting the headphones around his head. This was the ninth again he’d heard in an hour. He huffed loudly into the mic on accident causing a high pitch ring to resonate through his booth and the sound board room. A series of Fuck, Luke and Ouch ran through the music booth.

“Sorry, sorry." He grumbled though not sincerely. “Can I get a break?” He asked looking to his bandmates through the glass that separated them. “Perhaps Cal could come in here instead and work on Babylon?” His voice was hoarse and exasperated. He didn’t even want to be here, but he was supposed to be because Calum said so. Because their manager had called them and said their album needed more work. Because Michael didn’t think it was complete. Because Ashton wrote one more song. Because he needed to rewrite and sing new verses.

Calum stood up from his spot, holding up his middle finger at his bandmate with a lopsided grin.  He waved for Luke to come out the booth. Luke sighed, relieved.

The two passed each other up as one went in and the other went out. Ashton eyed Luke curiously as the curly-haired fellow went to drop himself into the armchair Calum had just unoccupied.

Luke felt exhausted. Their short number of shows in Europe and the flight from Milan had finally caught up to him, but that wasn’t the only thing eating at him. After flying into LA and checking into their hotel for the next few days before flying to Paris, Nelle left. No explanation or anything.

He knew it shouldn’t have bothered him because she didn’t have to explain herself to him, but he thought they’d been doing so well lately. She’d been endlessly playful and flirty with him. Every time she looked his way, he felt so light, like there was no pressure on him; that he was definitely and rightfully okay. Now, since arriving in California, not even a text had been exchanged between the two. He couldn’t decide whether to be worried or not.

There was a SNAP causing Luke to blink furiously and focus on his surroundings. Michael was standing in front him, his hand still extended in the end position of his finger snap.

“What the fuck has gotten into you?” he asked. Luke scoffed, turning his face away. He mumbled a small nothing. “Bull shit.” Michael declared. “Spill…”

Luke had to face Michael now. He sized his buddy up, eyeing him up and down and even bucked at him, but Michael didn’t even flinch. Instead…

“Spill… or I tell Cal you have the hots for Nelle.”

Ashton, who was mid-sip of his iced coffee, began choking. He gasped desperately, pounding the front of his chest with no help from Luke or Michael.

“Dude!” Ashton wheezed. Michael ignored Ashton and stayed focused on Luke.

“So the fuck what?” Luke finally stated. At this point, there was no point in lying. They were going to find out sooner or later just how he had found out when they both had crushes on her.

Michael stepped back, stunned that it took so little effort to get Luke to admit that he liked Nelle. He’d expected more fight. Luke was always on defense when it came to his feelings, especially feelings for girls. He ran a hand through his knotted hair.

“Uhh. Wow. I don’t really know what to say anymore.” Michael went to sit back down next to Ashton. “I guess you can take it from here, Irwin.”

Ashton sat up straight, clearing his throat. “So… Hemmo… what the actual fuck?! Look… take this from our experience of having loved… and still love the most beautiful creature to walk the face of the planet… Calum will hang you if you even so much as look at her the wrong way. I'm surprised he hasn’t caught you making puppy eyes at her... How long has this been going on? This is all rather intriguing and downright confusing.”

With a roll of his eyes and shrug, Luke disregarded everything Ashton said.

“It’s been made pretty clear that she’s not interested in us. She refused the both of you and you, Ash, are probably the most compatible with her. I don’t see how I would be an exception.” He declared, a heavy weight on his heart.

Ashton and Michael shared a brief, but knowing,  glance with one another.

“I don’t know, mate.” Michael began. “I never seen Nelle look at anyone the way she looks at you."

That, there, it wasn’t exactly what Luke wanted to hear, but at the same time, it was exactly what he needed to hear. His heart skipped a beat and he felt light for a moment.

---

Luke trudged through the hotel lobby, hanging back from the other three. Michael, Calum, and Ashton were being boisterous, making the hotel guests and employees look their way as they joked and laughed heartily.

“Dude, c’mon!” Ashton stopped, pulling his two buds by the shirts to get them to stop walking. They waited for Luke to catch up with them. Since their recording session and getting Luke to admit his feelings about Nelle, Ashton had noticed Luke’s attitude had gone to nearly depressed. Calum was curious and had asked what was the matter, but everyone stayed tight-lipped.

Luke pulled his phone out of his pocket, checked to see if he had any notifications, and when he didn’t, he stuffed it back into his pocket.

“I really don’t want to go to Harry’s rager.” Luke mumbled, not bothering to look any of his mates in the eyes. Michael bumped him in the shoulder.

“Serious? Harry Styles is throwing the party of the year and you’re just gonna… not go?”

Luke shrugged. Calum narrowed his eyes at the guy, but didn’t say anything.

“The last time we partied with him, I ended up two cities over with no pants. I think I'm good.” Luke stated. “I think I'll just work on some music.”

Ashton scoffed at this.

“Wooow. You didn’t do shit today in the studio, gave up halfway, and now you want to--"

Calum held his hand over Ashton’s mouth to stop talking. He tried to pry Calum’s hand off his face but failed.

“If you want to stay here, go ahead.” Calum told him. Luke nodded in appreciation and began to turn his feet towards the elevators. They went their separate ways after Michael ran back to Luke to give him a quick hug and kiss on his head.

When Luke was sure that they were gone, he strayed away from the elevators and went to the front desk.

The brunette receptionist glanced over her glasses at Luke. He stood there, nervously, not really sure what to say or do since he was never the one to check them in when they arrived at hotels.

The woman cleared her throat, looking at Luke unamused. “Is there something I can help you with, sir?” Her voice super monotone.

Luke rubbed the back of his neck with his hand, the edge of his neck ran pink from the nerves. He felt his palms growing sweaty. His heart thumped against his chest hard. He could feel his vision closing in, an anxiety attack ensuing…

“My assistant… she checked us in this morning but didn’t tell me what room she was in. I need my room key from her.” Luke managed to say after a few breaths. It was a lie. He had his room key, but Nelle hadn’t told him nor the others what her room was. Right now, he needed to be with her. He wanted to talk to her. The lady, who’s nametag read Monica, raised an eyebrow.

“Do you have your ID?” she asked. Luke nodded rapidly, fumbling with his hands to reach into his back pocket of his black pants. He handed his ID to her and she typed away on her computer.

“Her name is Nelle. N-Nelle Padilla.” Luke stuttered. “My friend’s names are Calum Hood, Michael Clifford, and Ashton Irwin. We would have all been checked in at the same time.”

Monica looked at him, not entirely sure to believe him, but with a shrug of her shoulders, keyed in the names he gave off. She passed his identification back to him. “I have your friend’s names, but the first one doesn’t come up.” She told him.

Luke shook his head. He clearly remembered Nelle checking them all in. She hated LA. She wouldn’t stay anywhere else without them.

Something suddenly clicked. “Wait… could you try Eleanor Padilla?” He grimaced afterwards. He’d just found out her real first name days ago. It was a shock to him since everyone… like literally everyone only called her Nelle. The name was foreign on his tongue. He hoped to never say it again.

The receptionist tried again, typing quickly for there was a couple standing behind Luke now, ready to check in. She shook her head.

“Sorry. That one doesn’t come up either.”

Luke thanked her for her time. He headed back to the elevators, sad, confused, and downright annoyed.

His anxiety was gone. Now he was just irritated. He made his way to his floor, still wondering where Nelle could have gone. He checked his phone, his fingers lingering over the screen on their text conversation.

Where R you? Hazza is throwing a party. U down?

He stared at his text unsure if he should send it. He didn’t want to go to that dumb party, but if it got a response from Nelle, then it was worth it. He rethought the wording then deleted it as he got to his room. He let himself in. The lights were on. He furrowed his brows; he knew he’d turned them off before they’d left for the studio earlier. He entered cautiously, aware that the TV was on as well.

Stepping into the main part of his room, he sighed of relief.

Nelle was sitting on the bed, a pillow already placed in the middle of it splitting their sides. Her hair was damp so she’d had to have just gotten out the shower. It was drying into her waves. For the longest, Luke had thought she had straight hair. Now in the recent weeks of getting to know her, he now knew that it was naturally wavy. He decided he liked it like that best.

Nelle smiled at Luke; it wasn’t her typical genuine wide smile, but a small, closed lipped one. Her eyes looked sad but he didn’t want to question it. He was just glad that she was here. And Nelle was glad he was there too. She had been MIA all day since arriving in LA that morning. She’d sent the boys to the studio, leaving herself to have a meeting with their manager. The meeting had ran long, almost all day and part of the evening. She was mentally drained. She wanted to tell Luke about it but the second he’d walked in, she found herself suddenly feeling guilty and cowardly.

“I missed you today.” Luke mused, looking over at her. Nelle eyed Luke, her amber eyes trying to read his blue ones. He was being sincere. Nelle lowered her eyes, afraid to give her emotions away.

“Missed you too.” She mumbled back.

------

It was a sunny, cool morning in LA. It was 24 hours until their departure to France. Nelle wandered through the streets of Los Angeles, a coffee tray and a bag of bagels in her hands. 5SOS was back in the studio today for a bit. Every minute for the next 24 hours was booked solid and Nelle was determined to not let anything slip through the cracks, even when California always treated her unwell.

She made it the studio building with her arms full and without spilling a drop of anything. The girl at the front desk said hello to her as she carefully made her way to the elevators.

Ironically, the guys were located on the fifth floor. Anything in regards to the number five was almost always a good sign according to Ashton, who believed in that kind of good luck/bad luck thing. Nelle sped down the hallway to the studio room.

Michael was the first to see her through the thick glass door. He jumped off the recliner he was lounging in and hopped over Ashton’s body on the floor to open the door for her. Nelle entered the studio, trekking over Ashton’s legs, to set the coffees and bagels on the table next to the recliner Michael had just left empty.

“Luke just stepped outside. Cal is in the booth.” Ashton said as he raised his body from the floor to get himself a bagel. Michael was already an arm deep into the bag of round bread when Nelle chastised him.

“If you’re gonna get a poppy seed bagel, you better eat the seeds, Michael.”

Michael mumbled something under his breath before pulling a plain bagel out the bag. He grabbed the coffee with his name on it from the tray and went back to his recliner.

Seconds later, Luke walked back into the studio room and Calum entered from the booth. Johnny, the producer excused himself to make a phone call and to run down the street to the nearest McDonald's.

The room was quiet for a while as everyone ate and drank. Luke kept glancing at Nelle who was sitting next to Ashton on the loveseat couch. She could have sat between him and Calum on the long couch. He pushed that bit of jealously down with the gulp of his coffee but it quickly rose up again as Ashton put one of his hands on Nelle’s thigh. It was an innocent gesture, but his hand was pretty high on her leg and he couldn't help but feel slightly green. It also didn’t help that they were whispering amongst each other with their faces pretty close.

When everyone was finished eating, Nelle stood up from her spot next to Ashton. She picked up the boys’ trash, putting it all in the bag that it had come in. She cleared her throat afterwards and all four of them looked in her direction. She stood awkwardly in the middle of floor, pulling the Led Zeppelin shirt she’d borrow from Luke that morning tight around middle. Luke noticed the way the shirt now clung around her curves and his mind flashed back to that morning when he’d woken up to see Nelle hopping around the hotel room, struggling to pull her pants over the curvature of her hips and ass. Luke hadn’t meant to stare, but he had and when she’d finally succeeded in buttoning her pants, he pretended to be asleep to give him some time for his prick to go down.

“Everyone…” Nelle announced. “I have an announcement to make.”  

Calum looked worried. The way Nelle had said that made goosebumps raise on his body. He shuddered as Nelle cleared her throat to keep talking.

She let out a deep breath, eyed Calum for a brief second for some quick reassurance and then spoke, trying hard to not let her voice break. “I… I am not joining you for the rest of this tour… I am not going on promo for the next single… and I am not going on tour for Youngblood.”

Blue, green, hazel, and brown eyes all widened in shock. The room was dead silent except for the vibration of someone’s phone but no one dared to move.

Michael seemed the first to react as his body collapsed backwards into the recliner, his eyes watering immediately. Ashton groaned in discontent.

“Is this some type of joke?” Calum asked. His eyes darted around the room to his mates; Luke had an unreadable expression and Nelle was not sure what to make of it. He seemed not phased at all.

“It’s not…” Nelle replied. “I—“

“What the fuck!?” Michael interrupted her. “What do you mean you’re not coming with us? This is a bit fucked up, Nelle! We’re in the middle of a fucking tour. We’re about to release our third album and you’re just gonna drop this shitty ass bomb on us like that!”

Nelle had not expected Michael to react so angrily. In fact, she had mentally prepared herself for Ashton to be the one to get mad, not Michael.

“It’s been a long time coming, Clifford. Did you really think I wasn’t ever going to leave? I mean… compared to other assistants we’ve come across, I’ve been around a lifetime… but I need to do my own thing. I’ve been putting the four of you ahead of my own life for almost six years now. I have to do this for my own good.” Nelle clarified but the more she spoke, the more it upset Michael. Ashton scoffed whereas Calum shook his head.

“So we’re a nuisance to you now.” Michael chuckled coldly. “Wow… I can’t even look at you right now.”

Nelle neared Michael, but Ashton gave her a warning look. “Look… I don’t want to leave, but lately it’s just been so much, so fast, and I’m tired. It’s hard to keep my own life organized when I have to organize four other peoples’ lives as well. I haven’t done anything for myself since I decided to come along with you guys. I got into Yale last fall…”

Calum gawked at her. “What the hell? Why didn’t you say anything, Nelle?”

“I did.” She shrugged. “You all were too busy beginning the new album. I got in, they understood my situation, and I’ve been doing online classes since we travel too much for me to attend actual classes.

“You know I love you, all of you” She met Michael’s eyes when she said this and Luke felt a slight pang in his heart. Why didn’t she look at him? “But… that break before you started the new album, getting into this prestigious university, it just made me realize that I need to put myself first now. I wouldn’t take back anything in all these years, but…”

“Can you just get out?” Ashton finally spoke, his voice on the edge of breaking, but he spoke with a cold force that made Calum double-glance at him to make sure it was him speaking. Nelle turned towards Ashton, her heart cracking, a huge lump in her throat. “We don’t need to know why… just fucking go. We’ll call Richard and figure all of this out on our own.” Ashton shooed her away towards the door.

Nelle took another look at the four of them. No one else said anything else, not even Calum, who had always been there besides her and took her side. She tried to meet Luke’s eyes, but he was turned away from her. She inhaled deeply, holding in her tears, and she left.

<<>> 

When the glass door was shut and Nelle was out of sight, Luke turned on Calum.

“WOW! And I thought you were her brother.” He mocked. Calum straightened up real quick, his brows creased.

“You didn’t say shit! Don’t come at me!” Calum argued. “What the fuck did you do to her to make her want to leave?”

Ashton’s eyes darted between the two and then to Michael. Michael, though still incredibly upset, suddenly felt troubled. Maybe he shouldn’t have gotten so upset.

“I didn’t do anything. Maybe it was you selfish assholes.” Luke voiced back. “She does so much for us and we couldn’t even return the fucking favor.”

Luke’s statement made all three of them lower their heads in guilt. He wasn’t wrong, yet no one bothered to admit it. Luke stood up hastily, his footsteps heavy as he walked towards the door.

“I’m not gonna let her leave on bad terms. She deserves the fucking world for everything’s she’s done for us.” He said. Calum sneered.

“Since when do you care so much about her?” he asked. Luke rolled his eyes.

“Since when have you stopped?” Luke shot back before he left.

<<>> 

Nelle stopped before the elevators, her emotions getting the best of her. She leaned back on the wall across the elevators, between two potted plants. Her tears guzzling out before she could stop them. This was not the reaction she had expected.

She knew they were going to be upset, but she hadn’t known they were going to be outraged by her departure. She wanted her last moments to be hugs and kisses and I going to miss you. She hadn’t anticipated getting practically kicked out. She’d wanted to spend the rest of the day together, even if it was going to be spent working. She wanted to drop them off at the airport before they left for France and her Australia. She wanted to make sure their new assistant who was going to be at the airport waiting for them knew every single thing about them because she wanted to make sure they were in safe hands.

She let out a loud sob, forcing herself to rub her face with her hands to clean away the tears. She sniffled, wishing she’d thought to bring her purse because she was really in dire need of tissues and there was no way she was going to wipe her face on Luke’s shirt. She inhaled and exhaled the way she’d taught the guys how to when they got too anxious. Her head was bowed down with her eyes closed, but when she finally felt calm and her tears were now just silent trickles, she opened them up.

She glanced up quickly after noticing a pair of black boots in front of her own. Her wet tawny eyes met a pair of cerulean blues; her body buckled forward and luckily Luke had expected it. He caught her and held her close. This was the first time he’d ever hugged her… and the last his mind was quick to remind him.

Nelle drew in Luke’s scent, the same clean, zesty smell that been clingy to her, his, shirt all day. She pulled away from him, but stayed close enough to where he could keep his arms around her.

“I’m sorry for the way they were…” Luke whispered down to her, his forehead pressing against hers. Their noses touched and it took nearly everything in Nelle’s body to keep her from tippy-toeing up just a few centimeters to capture his lips. She wasn’t going to lie to herself and pretend that she didn’t find Luke attractive. She’d been doing all she could to distract herself from that fact especially in these days that they’d finally become friends. She was keeping her feelings at bay because she had already thought of quitting for a long time. That was why she couldn’t date within the band she always told herself. But Luke was different.

“I’m sorry I dropped the news like this.” She told him back. Luke shook his head when he noticed Nelle’s eyes watering again. He pressed her face into his shoulder, squeezing her body gently for comfort. It took a few seconds for Nelle to calm herself again. She dragged her body away from Luke’s again, this time completely. She couldn’t think straight with him so close.

“I need to go.” She said rashly. Luke looked at her with sad eyes just as Nelle tried to speed off. She managed to push the down button for the elevator before Luke could react. He reached out, grabbing her hand and pulled her back to him. Nelle yanked her hand away, Luke’s face dismayed by her rebuff.

“I don’t want to start anything we can’t finish.” She uttered just as the elevator doors opened. She stepped back into the metal box, pushed the Close Door button quickly before pressing the 1st floor button. She gave him a single wave just as the doors closed. He didn’t even get to wave back.

[angels17324]

The Violet Paladin Chapter 11

Word Count: 1322 Update Schedule: Every Monday [Masterlist] [Prev]

After having changed back from our paladin gear everyone gathered back into the control room, we were all surrounding Pidge’s chair watching her work on trying to decipher the information we’d taken from Sendak and the Ship that had landed on Arus. 

“You know I don’t think your father would approve of searching through and enemy’s memories,” Coran looked at Allura. 

“I know but we have to do everything we can to defeat Zarkon,” She reasoned with him. 

“Once we learn his weaknesses we can drive up to his front door and challenge him to a fight,” Lance cockily said,  “Winner gets the universe,” Everyone glared at him. 

“Anything good Pidge?” Shiro asked. 

“We need anything we can get,” I said. 

“We don’t even have a decent map of the empire,” Keith said. 

“Who needs a map, after 10,00 years of conquering I could probably fire my bayard in any direction and hit a ship,” Lance crossed his arms. 

“If we could find some troop locations or supply routes easy hit and run targets we could start freeing planets,” Shiro said. 

“Borning~ I want the big kaboom!” Lance pumped his fists up. 

“He’s had 10,000 years to build an empire we can’t tear it down overnight, especially not with six inexperienced pilots and a support ship hitting him where he lives would be a huge mistake,”

“Okay after having cross-referencing Sendak's memories with the downed ship one thing kept repeating something called a ‘Universal Station’” 

“Universal Station? Like a station that controls the universe,” 

“We are translating it from Galra so it could also just as easily mean Galactic hub,” She explained.

“I’ll pull up the location on the screens,” Coran pulled up an image of what seemed to be two planets and a large space rock? But no base to be seen. 

“There’s nothing there!” Lance complained. 

“We aren’t picking up anything on our scanners either,” Coran said. 

“Maybe he remembered it wrong?” Keith questioned. 

“Or we just stumbled upon a top-secret base in Sendak’s memories,” Pidge explained. 

“Only one way to find out for sure,” I said. 

“Let’s go take a look,” Allura piloted us towards the location but kept the ship far enough away not to be picked up.

“Seems the two planets warp the electron emission spectrum enough to keep the base off our deep space scanners,”

“So you can only see it if you know where to look,” Pidge said, we watched the base for a moment. 

“This base must handle shipments from all over the Galra Empire,” 

“If it’s just some airport where shipments come and go why is it hidden?” I asked. 

“There’s gotta be more to it then we’re seeing,” 

“We will have to go down to take a look,” Allura said, “We will need to enter here the central control building” 

“I’m sorry, Princess did you say ‘we’?” Keith asked we all turned to look at Allura.

“I’m going with you I’ve traveled through the transportation hubs many times with my father before the war began, I know more about them than any of you,” She explained. 

“Princess, I’d rather you stay here,” Coran pleaded. 

“I’m just as much a part of this fight as the rest of you. I’m going. Does anyone have a problem with that?” She looked at each of us everyone just turned away, though you could tell we all had a problem with her going we just didn’t know what to say. 

Finally, Shiro spoke, “I don’t have a problem with it,” everyone was shocked except Allura who was quite happy. Everyone suited back up and met in the green lion, at some point Pidge had added the tech from the invisible maze to it for cloaking. We were successfully able to hide her lion before exiting to take over the control room. 

We snuck in Shiro took out the Galra soldier while Lance took out the two Sentries. Pidge hooked up to the system I helped Lance drag the busted Sentries out of site. I sat next to Pidge when Hunk started to talk about a joke we heard in class. 

“Hey, guys sorry to interrupt but I think we got company,” Keith warned we all ducked under the desks when a call came in. 

“I think he’s waiting for a signal,” I whispered. 

“I got it,” Hunk dragged out one of the Sentries and did some weird hand gestures which seemed to work because the call ended. 

“Okay, download complete,” Pidge announced. 

“What’s it say?” Keith asked. 

“Nothing. This place doesn’t have any useful information. Just a schedule of the ships coming in and out.” 

“Well, this was a bust,” Lance said. 

“Let's get back to the castle,” Shiro said. 

“Wait Pidge do you know where that ship is heading?” Allura asked. 

“Uh… it's scheduled to be here for about half an hour, then head back to central command,” 

“That’s where they have the information we need, I’m going in,” Allura announced. 

“What? No way!” Lance shouted. 

“It’s too dangerous,” I tried to reason with her. 

“How are you going to get in?” Keith asked. 

Allura pulled off her helmet, “I’m going to walk right through the front.” She shifted to look just like a Galran soldier minus the uniform. Everyone was amazed and questioned her about this power which she explained. 

“I’m going with you,” Shiro said. 

“You’ll stick out like a Choferiak’s Nose,” 

“You’re going to need that nose Princess, Shiro’s arm is the only thing we can use to interface with Galra tech,” Pidge explained. After we devised a plan to get Shiro on board with Allura they were on their way. We watched from the control room when they were stopped. I held my breath and sighed out when they made it on. 

“What do you think is in all those containers?” Keith asked.

“I suspect that its sporks,” Hunk said. We all just glanced at him, “They’re an advanced species surely they’ve realized its useless to have two utensils when one can easily do the job,” He explained. While we were watching Shiro and Allura Pidge had apparently hooked up to one of the Sentries, however, it shut down. 

“Whoa, check out this guy,” Keith said, we turned back to see a scary looking dude in a cloak. 

“He might be apart of the reason that the base is being kept a secret,” I said. 

“I’m gonna go check it out,” Keith said. 

“How about we lay low and you don’t blow our cover?” Lance said but Keith didn’t listen. 

“I’m going with you,” I said. 

“(Y/n) not you too! Don’t walk through that door!” Lance yelled but I had already followed Keith out. 

“You don’t need to come with me I’m fine on my own,” He told me. 

“Yeah well like Lance said we don’t want to blow our cover besides I can fire my weapon from long distance,” I said. 

“Fine, just don’t get hurt,” He kept ahead of me as we followed the scary dude. They were leading the containers inside the base. Just as the doors were about to close we both made it in and followed at a distance. Keith and I took out the two guards and walked towards a room that had a lot of those containers. I knelt down close to the wall while Keith stood behind me and peaked out. 

“What is this?” I whispered and watched what the scary dude did with one of the containers. 

“Coran you need to see this,” Keith said as we sent a live feed to the ship and to Pidge, Lance and Hunk. In our helmets, we heard the Sentry explain that it was quintessence. “Guy’s I’m going to steal some of this Quint-whatever,” Keith said and runoff. 

“Keith!” I whisper shouted following him. Keith hid behind the first set of walls while I was behind the second. “Keith you shouldn’t be that close he could see you,” I said. 

Keith grabbed one of the containers and hid on the other side. At first, it seemed like the guy didn’t notice but when Keith turned back to look at the guy appear behind the wall in front of him I fired an arrow at him but he had already blasted Keith back making him drop the container. I ran out to help Keith attack the guy, but he was too quick and kept disappearing. 

“Stay back!” He told me 

“And leave you to fight this dude alone no way!” I shouted the guy focused his attacks on Keith, I aimed an arrow at him and fired when he thought he got Keith. The guy blocked Keith’s next attack and threw him back. “Keith are you okay?” I asked flying over to him. “Your hand!” I gasped, “Pidge we need an extraction now!” I said. The guy kept attacking us as we flew around the room. We had made it onto the conveyor belt thing and both readied our weapons the guy was about to attack but the green lion came just in time it destroyed the container splashing both Keith and I, in the quintessence we ran into the green lion's mouth. I turned to look at Keith. He was looking at his hand which healed. “How’d that happen?” I said his hand was completely healed. We joined the other in the head as we rescued a pod that Allura and Shiro were in. But only Shiro came up. 

“Where’s Allura?” Lance asked as Shiro kept his gaze down. 

“She sacrificed herself to save me,” He explained.

“So she’s still on that ship?” Pidge asked. 

“The one about to head back to central command?” Hunk said. 

“The place that’s way too dangerous for us to attack?” Keith added okay now they’re just making him feel worse. 

“We can’t let Zarkon get Allura,” 

“But you’re the one who said attacking there would be a mistake,” I said.  

“I know, but now we don’t have a choice.”  Tag List~

@somebodytouchedmysaeran @ittie-bittie-tittie @izabellah816