#but when she heals it's like oh this is real and this is the whole point and it's why i'm trying to get these stinky gods so ppl can heal
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i got bit by the butch wolverine bug and trust me im in lov w her BUT have we considered futch deadpool???
(headcanons and upcoming fic snippets under the cut)
working on a big silly fanfic about this hot mess boinking logan in the odyssey. here’s some headcanons while the story finishes cooking.
- so. kept her first name as wade. i’ve seen a few alt names floating around for f!deadpool (big love for the winnies, winonas, and wandas of the lesbianpool extended universe) but genderfuck ‘not rlly a name’ just fits my vision for her. her parents were weird idk.
- deadpool is a woman in all variants except one in my personal headcanon. he is called dudepool. also her corresponding nicepool is male gaze-ified pre-mutation wade. she’s bleach blonde and her suit has a titty window.
- ex special forces turned mercenary whose life shit the bed when she was diagnosed with cancer. tried to be proactive about it long enough to get a mastectomy, then found out said cancer was pretty much everywhere else, and we know the story from there. since this predates her healing factor, she’s permanently single-boobed. has padding in her suit to even her out since it doesn’t leave a whole lot to the imagination, wears big t-shirts and ignores it in her civilian life.
- bisexual disaster zone. spent many years in a very happy and deeply perverted relationship with a male stripper named van carlysle, until that went down the toilet. a solid 70% of the casual sex she has is with women.
- dresses like the shitshow nightmare we know and love, loves an awful t shirt and a pair of crocs. put little to no effort into her appearance pre-mutation and that hasn’t really changed, had a brief phase of screwing around with makeup and wigs and then decided it was basically - to use a line of internal monologue from the pending fic - rolling a turd in glitter.
- speaking of, has a real complex about the changes to the way people perceive her post-mutation, namely that they seem to find her super fucking irritating and odd in a way that they very much Didn’t when she was still conventionally hot. between her military background and the general company she keeps, she’s quite often the only woman in her circles, and has always been a dysfunctional mess of adhd and unfiltered word-vomit, but that was generally read as mpdg ‘cool girl’ behaviour prior to her transformation, and now people seem to just think she’s a lunatic. less ‘oh god im hideous’, although she *absolutely* has those moments too, more ‘oh god everyone i know has thought i was a weird pain in the ass this entire time and only tolerated me because they wanted to fuck me’
- wears a lot of poorly applied eyeliner and purposely sleeps in it because she thinks it looks cool. it does not.
- had absolutely zero plans to snitch to cassandra about johnny’s rant, right up until the ‘bald hell’ line. she took that shit personally (almost definitely didn’t need to but whatever. i support women’s wrongs.)
and some snippets from the fic, all of which are me wade objectifying logan. technically spoilers but also what else did anyone expect
#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool fanart#deadpool#lady deadpool#ladypool#Wade Wilson#x men#x men fanart#digital illustration#digital art#butch wolverine#poolverine#deadclaws#lesbian deadpool#f!deadpool#gender bend#rule 63#marvel fanart
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Star Patient: Chapter 9 (FINISHED SERIES, final chapter)
WARNING: This series will include; possible inaccurate medical procedures and medical setting, gore, toxic relationships that should NOT be replicated in real life, murder, yanderes, cursing, suicide mentions, implications of misandry (male misogyny), descriptions of self-harming, accusations of cheating, child death, death of major and minor characters, OC's are used throughout the story for plot and depth, reader is in denial and paranoid, toxic family dynamics, perversive thoughts, reader is bipolar (not saying that in a quirky way, like literally bipolar), religious comparisons, light mention of demons, stalkers, nonconsensual drugging, minor implication of necrophilia, possibly more to add.
Inaccurate canon-timeline and setting (this is before Ashley and Andrew murdered their parents). They also live in America (because I wasn't aware they lived in Europe prior to this series).
Reader has a small fear of adult men/rape and has a history of suicide attempts.
Incest is not Wincest.
Amnesiac! Obsessive! Patient! Andrew Graves x Yandere! Nurse! Reader:
Wordcount: 14,100+ words
Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, final chapter (current).
Want to listen to music while reading? Check out the Star Patient's Official Playlists! Multiple different playlists and genres!
(Y/N) arrived at the hospital feeling refreshed for the first time in a long while. She’s had a couple weeks to heal from her accident, and she was paid the whole time too!
Now she’s back at work and ready to get back to it. She fixed the star patterned lanyard around her neck and fixed her undershirt’s long sleeves.
She exited her car and locked the door, walking into the hospital lobby. She walked to the elevators and pressed the button for pediatrics. When the doors opened, she left the elevator and walked into the staff room, checking in.
She made her way to Doctor Ryan’s office and waited a moment to make sure there was no patient in the room before knocking. The door opened as Doctor Ryan’s head peeked out, a confused expression on his face before his eyes widened.
“Oh my god! Hey!” he smiled, quickly opening the door all the way. “Come on in!”
“Hi, sir.” (Y/N) smiled. “I’m back and ready to work!”
“That’s great! These weeks felt so strange without you.” Doctor Ryan spoke. “Do you understand how hard it is to try and talk with Ruby? God, she bores me.” He groaned, causing (Y/N) to laugh.
“Yeah. Ruby’s just Ruby.” (Y/N) smiled.
“So, how are you feeling?” he questioned. “You’ve had enough time to heal up, right?”
“Yep.” (Y/N) nodded, smiling. “I’m perfectly fine! I’ll be having my staples and stitches removed after work today.”
“That’s great to hear!” Doctor Ryan beamed. “Just take it easy, okay? Don’t go lifting any heavy things like chairs or stuff; I can do that. And take some sitting breaks.”
“I’m fine, it wasn’t that bad.” (Y/N) reassured, albeit she did feel warm inside knowing her superior was worried about her. “It stopped hurting after a few days, so it was just letting the wounds heal over.” She lied.
“Well, I’m glad you’re feeling better.” Doctor Ryan smiled. “Oh, before I forget!”
He moved over to his counter, bending down and unlocking the lock on the cabinet before opening it, pulling out a basket. The small basket had some packets and wrapped candy bars, along with fake orchids.
"I got you some chocolates and flowers! If you're allergic to coco or milk, I have this replica of hot chocolate powder that tastes like hot chocolate, but doesn't have any milk or coco! People are so smart nowadays!” Doctor Ryan explained. “Oh, and don't worry, I checked with the missus first, so she won't be mad at me!" Doctor Ryan cooed over his wife.
“Tell her I said thank you. And thank you to you too.” (Y/N) smiled, accepting the basket and placing it on the counter. “But you didn’t have to do this. I was only gone for about two or three weeks.”
“I never realized how much I enjoyed your company around this place.” Doctor Ryan sighed. “I mean, seriously. Ruby could never.”
“What about Agatha?” (Y/N) questioned. “Wasn’t she here?”
“Taking vacation. She just divorced her husband, so she’s sunbathing in the Bahamas.” Doctor Ryan explained.
“About time.” (Y/N) scoffed. “Her husband was a dick and all he knew was how to use it.”
“Careful, don’t let our boss hear that.” Doctor Ryan chuckled. “That’s potty language.”
“Oops.” (Y/N) hummed, though she wasn’t sorry in the slightest.
“Ready for today? We have six scheduled, and walk-in’s from there.” Doctor Ryan explained, picking up his computer. “First one comes in 20 minutes for an annual check-up and flu shot. Let’s get everything situated.”
“Yes, sir.” She smiled.
She picked up antiseptic spray and wiped down the examination table, replacing a new paper sheet on it so no accidental snot or blood spills could infect the cushions, before looking at Doctor Ryan.
“Excuse me, sir?” (Y/N) spoke.
“Yes?” he hummed, arranging the pan with a antibacterial wipe, a lidded-syringe vaccine, a cotton ball and a bandaid.
“Do you think it’s possible for me to continue my education online? Or transfer to another Treegrowth hospital program somewhere else?” she questioned.
“What? Why?” Doctor Ryan questioned, stopping what he was doing as he looked over to her.
“I’ve been wanting to move out of the city lately, but I’m worried about my education.” (Y/N) lied. “I still want my degree after all.”
In truth, she wanted to leave the city. Even though she hid Penelope’s body, once it’s found a search will be conducted. After that, they’ll see Andrew on the cameras, and it’ll be game over for him.
(Y/N)’s not safe either. Considering she led Penelope out of the store to the alley with no cameras, and came back without her jacket alongside Penelope not following her; it’s safe to say she’s a prime suspect.
So I got rid of that jacket for nothing… (Y/N) mentally sighed.
Well, it wasn’t entirely for nothing. At least it kept people from getting suspicious so far. She would’ve had the police called on her if she walked into the store wearing blood (whether she entered wearing the blood or not, and she’s unsure if she could’ve used a fashion excuse).
It’s at least given her some time to plan other than immediately going to jail.
It doesn’t help that not only was (Y/N) seen on the cameras last with Penelope and Andrew was in the store too, but it’s safe to say that seeing the two enter and leave together is more than enough evidence that the two are “working together” (the police will say).
She highly doubts she can place the blame on Andrew for “blackmailing” or “threatening her life” her to where she had to kill Penelope. It just wouldn’t be believable with Andrew in a wheelchair and (Y/N) willingly buying clothes and food for him.
As shitty as it’ll be, she’ll have to move. She can’t move back to her hometown considering: one, her parents are dead; two, Ren might still be living there and she’s not risking it.
However, the family farm is back at home and if Rose wasn’t lying, then it’s now in (Y/N)’s name. She’ll receive a letter in the mail in a few weeks regarding her parents wills’, but for now she’ll have to brainstorm somewhere else to stay.
It shouldn’t be hard to find another apartment on the other side of the city considering how shitty this place is, rent would probably be low or at least decent too.
She could almost laugh at her luck. Maybe there is a God who favors her—it’s about damn time considering how much she’s suffered for this.
“Move out of the city?” Doctor Ryan questioned, sighing. “So I take it you’re not taking over my night shifts…?”
“Sorry…” she smiled sheepishly. “My boyfriend and I want to move someplace bigger, so we’re looking outside of the city.”
“Wait? You have a boyfriend?!” he gasped, almost dropping the pan of needed medical supplies.
“Yeah… we've been together a year now. Met him in a library at the beginning of college.” She smiled.
“Oh, that’s great! I didn’t know this but that’s great!” he laughed. “Whats his name?”
“And—... A-Andes.” (Y/N) hummed, smiling as she lied.
“Whats he look like?” he questioned.
Oh, his hair as luxurious as a raven. His eyes are as green as lush bushes from Iceland. His skin is as pale as winter’s first snow. His smile might as well be Cupid’s bow striking an arrow through my heart. She thought.
“Honeypot brown hair and eyes like roasted chestnuts during Christmas.” (Y/N) cooed, almost cringing at the thought of speaking about another man (even if they were just imaginary).
“Sounds like a dreamboat.” Doctor Ryan teased. “Reminds me of me in my young years.”
“You’re only 10 years older…” (Y/N) pointed out.
Even if he was older, sometimes it felt like she was more mature between the two, but it’s probably a persona for work considering they work with children. (Y/N) doesn’t hang out with Doctor Ryan outside of work since he’s her professor, so she's not aware of his home persona; however, she doesn't really care on finding out. She likes this Doctor Ryan the way he is, and she'd feel terrible if her superior knew the kind of person she actually was outside of these pastel nursing scrubs.
“Well, you still have a year left for your degree…” Doctor Ryan explained. “I can talk with our educational board later, but I don’t see why it’d be a problem. You do your research and send in your homework on time, and you do good during manual instruction too… so you’ll just have to go to another Treegrowth hospital and work with one of the pediatricians there.”
“Thank you.” (Y/N) smiled, letting out a relieved sigh.
“Speaking of school, you don’t have to worry about those research papers assigned over your resting period. I’ll extend the deadlines.” Doctor Ryan explained.
“Oh… thank you, sir.” (Y/N) smiled, surprised.
She had completely forgotten about those papers, she was busy doing other things during her break, such as spending days planning her next move and while keeping a low profile (and thinking of dinner plans to make sure Andrew was eating too).
Over her break, she had removed Andrew’s staples on his ankles and started helping him with physical therapy for his legs. It might be a few months before he can run, but he’s been shown to stand and walk for short periods at a time, so she’s not too concerned in something going wrong during his recovery.
She also got rid of her own stitches and staples, avoiding the emergency unit of the hospital too so no doctor can try and schedule a check-up with her.
She made sure to visit Ashley and place some flowers in her memoir. Now, she couldn’t place them exactly where the grave was in risk of someone potentially finding the suspicious sight and reporting it to the police, so she settled for placing them on the trail’s entrance.
She visited Ashley’s grave and apologized for her harsh words nights ago, remorseful for blaming Ashley for her struggles. It wasn’t her fault, and it probably wasn’t her demon’s fault either; it was something (Y/N) did to herself and she had to take responsibility.
Worrying so much about Andrew, Ashley, and what to do after Penelope death, she’s completely forgotten about her college papers.
“I’ll go get the patient and get his growth developments.” (Y/N) smiled, walking out of the room.
(Y/N) left the room and let out a sigh.
Maybe killing Penelope was a terrible idea; unlike Ashley, Penelope’s home was here! While Penelope didn’t have any family, she did have co-workers. Soon enough they’d grow suspicious and call the police for a wellness check eventually (it’s not like they’d be investigating the hospital and its illegal methods, so that’s not a concern).
Penelope could be reported missing tomorrow and it wouldn’t take long for a missing person paper to come out.
It was almost frustrating really for her to have gotten caught up in her emotions. She used to be so good at bottling them up, but recently it seems like there's a hole in her bottle at the bottom that causing all her emotions to pour out quickly.
It made her want to scream and shout, but she couldn't do that at her job, so she resorted to kicking the floor's baseboards lightly and silently screaming as she pulled her lanyard around her neck, strangling her.
Well, it's better Penelope is dead. She won't be a threat to Andrew anymore.
That thought made her feel a bit better, causing her to stop her silent tantrum and readjust her lanyard.
She had a patient to meet and make sure nothing was wrong with the kid. She met with the receptionist, taking a patient's clipboard of information they filled out in the waiting room for Doctor Ryan. She opened the waiting room door and smiled, reading the patient's name.
"Zoe Hoops?" she read. "Follow me, please."
.
.
For the first time in who knows how long, (Y/N) felt excited leaving work.
Work for (Y/N) was an escape. Instead of worrying about her problems, she’d worry about someone else’s. Even if she still has problems, it felt good being able to leave work with a smile on her face.
Nothing went wrong during her shift. Nobody died. Zoe didn’t cry during her flu shot, she’s getting very big now. George sprained his ankle but he was walking like a champ. Nelly got discharged after her fight with a RSV. Tom and Jerry played trains in the hallways and are said to be discharged soon.
It felt nice being bit by the harsh autumn air, knowing that winter was coming up.
It felt nice walking out of the hospital doors, even if her feet ached and there was a sore spot in her back.
It felt nice seeing the sun rising, brightening up the city and her mind with a new light.
It felt nice driving home, knowing for the first time that someone was actually waiting for her to come home.
It felt nice feeling the heated air from the apartment as she opened the door. All the locks were undid; Andrew must’ve kept them unlocked for her.
There’s a chance he went back to bed since all the lights are off. She quietly closed the door and locked all five locks on the door. She didn’t bother turning on a light as she planned on going right back to bed after her 12 hour shift, placing her purse down on the hallway table in the dark.
She walked into the living room, opening the curtain and checking the locks on the window to make sure none were loose or unlocked. She finished that window and walked to the knife one, only to feel a rough push.
She was knocked to the ground with a thud, landing on her back and quickly on alert. A short yelp leaving her as she got pinned to her carpeted living room floor. Her eyes adjusted to the dark as she squirmed and kicked, trying to kick off her assaulter as she hit and scratched.
It was Andrew.
.
.
Bored would be an understatement. Andrew was practically dead as he looked through the category of movies he was illegally pirating.
What? Don't judge. Nobody wants to spend $10 on a movie they're only going to watch once or twice. If you bought a new movie every day to watch in a 30 day month, you'd have spent $300 on movies alone in a single month. He'll take the money saving option and $10 a month for VPN. Besides, (Y/N) was the one that showed him this site on her TV.
He browsed through the movies mindlessly before picking a Ryan Reynold's movie called Waiting...
He watched the movie with a neutral expression. The jokes really weren't really that funny when he couldn't hear (Y/N) laughing in his ear at them. He wished she was here with him right now. He wondered if she'd laugh at the inappropriate jokes, disgusted at the cook's handling rude customer's food, or sympathize for Calvin's fear of peeing outside of his home's bathroom.
Maybe he'll watch the movie with her when she gets home from work. He really couldn't be bothered to focus on this right now.
A thought crossed his mind as he thought: damn, was it really this hard to watch a movie alone before? He doesn't remember needing Ashley's commentary on every piece of media he's consumed, yet with (Y/N) it feels like he needs her approval or disproval before he can decide if he likes something or not.
He groaned, throwing his head back on the couch cushion, before noticing the open front door at the corner of his eye. He immediately stood up, alarmed as he carefully walked over to the door, peeking outside to see if anything (or anyone) was there.
Nobody.
He closed the door, leaning his weight on it. He couldn't walk far or stand long, his ankles having a small ache to them still.
(Y/N) didn't leave the door unlocked, he remembered watching her leave for work and locking the door behind her. She had cooked him breakfast as he complained about wanting to sleep in with her longer, clinging onto her waist from behind as she cooked him waffles. It was 2 AM, at least six hours until (Y/N) would return home, he remembered her telling him. She had left her phone number on the refrigerator for him to call if he needs her (he's been pondering if he should.
Andrew knows she takes security very seriously. He's seen her check her window and door locks every morning when she wakes up and every night before bed. A paranoid little thing she is, but he thinks that's good considering this city isn't a very good place to live in. He would rather she be overly paranoid than overly careless.
He re-locked the five door locks on her door; a bullock, a chain-lock, a sliding lock, a deadbolt, and a classic handle lock. He hopped into his wheelchair and spent the time re-checking all her window locks (three in total on each window).
She must've spent hundreds to maybe even a thousand on all her security, it's a miracle she doesn't have cameras in her apartment too. Maybe she's cautious of digital security. He noticed she uses VPN's, fake emails and usernames that's not her name, uses no social media, and weekly changes her passwords.
He's not sure why she's so paranoid, but he'd rather wait until she's ready to speak. She's already done so much for him, housing him, feeding him, buying him clothes, taking over his hospital bills, and even letting him sleep in her own bed—he'd do anything other than make her mad at him, not when he's living life so good.
He has to start looking for a job. There's no way he can work in person, maybe he can be a teleprompter for an insurance company or something... The both of them did agree that he'd live with her so long as he pays her back eventually; and he's not too sure he can repay her with chores and homemade food like a househusband...
He heard a drawer shut somewhere in the apartment, immediately alerting him. He got in his wheelchair and rolled over to the kitchen, grabbing a large cleaver.
Ah, memories.
He quietly strolled down the hallway, cautiously looking around before noticing the bedroom door was open. He remembered (Y/N) closing it before work, so Andrew just spent his time on the living room couch waiting for her to return to him.
It'd be nice if he had a gun in case it was another hitman who his parents hired to finish the job, but he doubts (Y/N) casually has one lying around.
The door was cracked open, so he took a breath before opening it all the way. The door was loud and creaky, something (Y/N) intentionally made sure of.
There was a man rummaging through her drawers, hunched over as he looked through her bedside drawer, snatching something before putting it in his pocket. He had blond hair, a black button down shirt and blue jeans, classy and uncovered for someone who breaks into an apartment.
A robber?
"What do you think you're doing?" Andrew questioned, already annoyed. He really didn't want to go through anymore drama in his life.
The man looked over his shoulder, though his expression didn't seem surprised, but excited as he smiled. His hand moved from the drawer and pulled a gun, aiming it at Andrew.
Fuck.
"Bang!" the man exclaimed, pulling the gun's trigger.
Nothing.
"No bullets." He smiled, chuckling as Andrew clutched his chest, practically half-dead from a damn near heart attack.
"Jesus, fuck..." Andrew hissed, holding his chest where his erratic heart was beating. "Who the fuck do you think you are?"
"Ren. It's nice to finally meet (Y/N)'s pet. Andrew, right?" The man, Ren, smiled as he placed the gun down into her drawer, closing it up.
"How do you know our names? Have you been watching us?" Andrew questioned, ignoring the man's mocking words.
There's no point in being hostile. He's not so sure he can win in a fight without his legs, and the confidence this man is oozing is really making Andrew second-guess himself, almost like he was the one in the wrong instead.
"Right. Let's get to the point." Ren hummed, plopping down on (Y/N)'s side of the bed, picking up the pillow and sniffing it.
Andrew felt his eye twitch, enraged and disgusted at the scene in front of him.
"I'm Ren. I'm (Y/N)'s childhood friend from church and I'm her husband." Ren smiled.
"Husband?!" Andrew exclaimed.
"Oh, right. Soon-to-be-husband. I just gotta propose and take her back home and yada-yada, you don't wanna hear our sappy love story." He laughed, waving his hand in the air.
"Stop the bullshit. What the hell are you doing here?" Andrew snapped, watching as Ren squeezed (Y/N)'s pillow to his chest.
"Oh, just checking in." He smiled. "Yeah. I have a hotel around here. Only for a week though!"
"What do you mean 'checking in?'" Andrew hissed, making quotations with his fingers.
"Checking in!" Ren smiled, gesturing to a poster in the room.
The poster was of one of her favorite bands. Upon closure inspection, Andrew noticed a small hole, a black reflection peeking right back at him. A camera.
"Hey, what the fuck?!" Andrew exclaimed, swirling his head to face Ren. "Why the fuck is there a camera?!"
"Oh, I just installed that! It's even smaller with audio too! Oh, has technology grown over the years! It makes my job so easy." Ren gushed, acting as if nothing was wrong.
"What job? Stop ignoring my damn questions!" Andrew hissed, strolling closer to Ren.
He grabbed Ren's collar, forcing Ren off the bed and holding him down to Andrew's eyesight as Andrew gritted his teeth. A dark storm as he looked at this strange man who decides to waltz in his home, sit on his girlfriend's bed, hug hisgirlfriend's pillow, place a camera in his girlfriend's room.
"I'm going to fucking kill you if you don't leave my home right now..." Andrew spat out, a harsh glare in his eyes.
"Your home?" Ren laughed. "It's not your home, silly! It's under (Y/N)'s name!"
"Do you wanna die?" Andrew snipped back.
"Oh please, you're wheel-bound." Ren chuckled, his brown eyes challenging Andrew's green eyes. "Besides, you're very lucky I haven't killed you yet; especially when you've been sleeping with my girl."
"Your girl?!" Andrew exclaimed, his head butting into Ren's, ignoring the sting as his hands shook, itching to punch Ren's teeth in. "She's mine! You stay the hell away before I fucking gut you!"
"I love your enthusiasm, but you don't love her." Ren laughed, patting Andrew's shoulder as if consoling a child.
Andrew quickly wound his fist, gathering momentum before punching Ren's face.
Ren's head knocked back, hitting the mattress as a trail of blood poured out of one of his nostrils. He quickly sat up, clutching his nose.
"Ha. Ah... I'll let that slide..." he breathed out through his mouth, his eye twitching in a sign of annoyance. "See... I'm not here to hurt anyone. That's already over." He spoke, grabbing a tissue from tissue box next to (Y/N)'s bedside for sick days.
"What do you mean 'it's already over?'" Andrew questioned.
"Her parents?" Ren smiled, tilting his head to the side as he plugged his bleeding nose with the tissue he grabbed. "The (L/N)s?"
"What did you do?" Andrew demanded, grabbing Ren's collar once more.
"Haven't you heard? They're dead!" Ren smiled.
"I know that! I mean, what did you do?" Andrew groaned, impatient with Ren's childish demeanor.
"Well, I killed them!" Ren chirped. "Well, I didn't directly kill them, but I played a part in it."
"Spill it out! How?" Andrew snapped, annoyed as he shook Ren's collar.
"I hired a hitman. Quite pricey too! He just crashed an auto-driving car into a gas tank and blew the couple up!" Ren explained.
"W-what?" Andrew questioned, shocked. "Why the hell did you do that?!"
"Well, they were no use to me anymore!" Ren laughed. "When they finally left that farm to go visit (Y/N) in years, I knew it was finally time! I had been following them for years, so when I saw their car drive out of town I knew they were going to see her! My AirTag told me where they were."
Andrew's heart dropped, surprised and disgusted at the man in front of him. How dare he lay his eyes on (Y/N)? How dare he stalk her?
"So when they led me here, I had (Y/N)'s address and knew where she was, so they were of no use!" Ren smiled. "Oh, tricky little thing! I'll give her credit, she escaped my radar—but she's back now~" Ren laughed, his bloody tissue started to overfill with blood as it traveled lower and lower into the tissue white cotton, tainting it with crimson.
"So... you've been after her this whole time?" Andrew questioned. "Why? Is it the farm's money? What do you want from her?"
"Her." Ren smiled. "I want her. Such beauty shouldn't be for just anyone to see."
"What makes you think only you can have her?" Andrew snapped.
"What makes you think you can have her?" Ren retorted. "She was mine first! I had her before you did!"
"Well she's mine now!" Andrew hissed. "Besides, she likes me better than you. She chose me after all."
That earned him an uppercut, biting his tongue as he rolled back in his chair away from Ren, grabbing the cleaver in his lap and holding it as he gritted his teeth.
"Oops. You seemed to have upset me for a second..." Ren chuckled. "I will not apologize; however, I have a deal."
"Shove it up your ass!" Andrew exclaimed.
"It involves Ashley." Ren hummed.
Andrew's grip on his weapon immediately loosened, hesitantly lowering down onto his lap.
"A-Ashley...?" he questioned. "My sister? You know her?"
"Knew her." Ren scoffed. "She's dead."
Andrew's heart dropped for what seemed like the umpteenth time. He stood up his full height, towering Ren's 5'9" body with his 5'11" self. He grabbed Ren's collar and knocked him back onto the mattress, seething as he glared at Ren.
"What the fuck did you do to her?! I'll fucking kill you!" Andrew shouted.
"Wait! I didn't do it this time!" Ren gasped as Andrew started choking him.
"Then who else?!" Andrew hissed.
"(Y/N)!" Ren exclaimed.
"(Y/N)?" Andrew questioned, his grip loosening on Ren's neck. "Explain."
"Look in her bedside drawer." Ren hummed, tilting his head to the cabinets he was rummaging through earlier.
Andrew hesitated, before letting go of Ren's neck. He fell back into his wheelchair, before reaching over and opening the cabinet, surprised as he held his breath.
In the drawer, there was a small box and a snack-sized bag labelled Rophynol. There was a pocketknife with a rose on it, and a gun that Ren pulled out earlier. It looked awfully familiar, and it had no bullets too... And finally, there was a black and red occult charm, one Andrew immediately recognized as Ashley's.
"Jesus... no..." Andrew gasped, gently picking up and cradling the charm, the only thing remaining of Ashley. "No, please..."
"Oh, how cute! My little angel is into the occult now! Isn't she so pure?" Ren cooed. "Is what I'd say if I didn't know that was Ashley's... My angel is far too pure to be involved with that demon crap."
"How do you know Ashley's name...?" Andrew grumbled. "How do I know you didn't plant this?" Andrew hissed, protectively cradling the charm in his hand.
"Because I have no reason to kill Ashley." Ren hummed. "Well, scratch that. I would've. She got what she got for what she tried to do." Ren smiled. "The only reason I know of Ashley is because I followed (Y/N) to her grave!"
"A-a grave?" Andrew spluttered.
"Duh. I told you she was dead." Ren rolled his eyes. "You really don't listen. My angel is so patient and kind, accepting strays like you into her home..."
"But... this isn't proof that you didn't kill her..." Andrew muttered. "(Y/N)... she wouldn't kill anyone. She's just perfect. A darling... She wouldn't do it—you would!"
"I would—and have." Ren smirked. "But that's not what we're discussing right now. Here." Ren hummed rummaging in his back pocket before pulling out some small folded squares. "Look."
Andrew accepted the pictures, opening them. He unfolded the squares and saw five pictures. One of Penelope, (Y/N)'s co-worker Andrew remembers, and (Y/N) out in the rain in an alleyway. Another photo showed a knife in (Y/N)'s hand, along with one in Penelope's. The third had a photo of (Y/N) on top of Penelope, straddling her waist with a pocketknife in the air. The fourth had the knife stabbed into Penelope's chest, along with multiple other wounds on her chest too. Finally, the last photo showed (Y/N) throwing the body in a public clothing donation center.
"Right in the act!" Ren laughed, gasping for air as if it was there funniest thing ever. "I followed you guys later that day while the hitman did his job! I can't believe I actually caught that! Turns out my angel is such a little vixen!"
"This can't be real..." Andrew rasped.
"Oh! It is! And look, best one for last!" Ren smirked, grabbing final photo in another pocket, pulling it out and unfolding it for Andrew. "H-ha! Ha! Here! Lookie!" Ren laughed, waving a photo of (Y/N) in the rain with a set of flowers, placing them down on a trail entrance. "Giving her condolences to her victim! Oh, she's so pure! I haven't even bothered visiting Ben's grave!" he cackled.
“You think this is something to laugh about?! People are dead!” Andrew shouted, shoving the occult charm into his pocket before glaring at Ren.
“So sensitive… it’s just a blood relative…” Ben sighed.
“That’s my sister!” Andrew snapped.
“It’s not like you haven’t killed anyone before.” Ben hummed, crossing his arms.
“You son of a— w-wait…” Andrew’s threat fell short, taking in Ren’s words. “How… do you know?”
“My father owns our town jail, so we have access to arrest records to check for felonies and such—we look up people and decide if they should be held in jail or be sent to prison.” Ren explained. “You showed up on my records, lucky you!”
“Damn it…” Andrew hissed, gritting his teeth.
Of course, (Y/N)’s stalker has to be involved with the police. Why wouldn’t he?
“If I recall… you have three accounts of second-degree murder. Cannibalism. Escaping house arrest. Invading officers—“ Ren listed.
“Hey! Hey! That’s not what happened! That’s bullshit!” Andrew snapped.
“It’s what the system says. You really think the justice system is gonna believe a murderer?” Ren chuckled.
“It was self-defense and necessity. I had to do it.” Andrew hissed.
“Right. And the girl that went missing in your hometown? I'm fairly certain you caused it—same with the man shot in the park a city nearby a month ago. That's two more accounts of second-degree murder, but anyways…” Ren hummed, playfully rolling his eyes in a teasing motion. “You asked why I was here earlier…”
“To check in, you said…” Andrew muttered.
“That’s not all!” Ren chirped. “I told you I’ll only be here for a week, so we only have a week for this. I want you to help me.”
“Help? Help you? As if!” Andrew scoffed, grabbing his cleaver.
“Oh… well, I guess the police can be more helpful then…” Ren hummed.
Damn it.
“What is it?” Andrew gritted through his teeth. “What do you want?”
“(Y/N).” Ren smiled.
“I already told you. She’s mine!” Andrew hissed.
“No, she’s not!” Ren hissed, clenching his fist. “You don’t love her! How can you when she killed your sister?”
Andrew opened his mouth to retort, but nothing came out.
Because how could he love someone that killed his sister?
Ren smiled, pleased to see Andrew couldn’t come up with anything.
“See? How can you love a murderer? She’s killed innocent people, and you love that?” Ren chuckled, smiling. “(Y/N)’s not that innocent little nurse who just helps from the kindness of her heart. She does it to feel better about herself, an ego to fulfill. If you can’t love that side of her, you don’t deserve her. Do you really love that side of her? I mean, how do you know you're not next? Not even her own co-worker was off-limits!"
“Do you really ever shut up…?” Andrew grumbled, adverting Ren’s eyes.
“Let’s make this easy.” Ren hummed. “You help me get (Y/N), and this whole apartment is yours! I’ll send you rent money, and grocery money, and whatever money you want that will keep you satisfied in this apartment—so long as you don’t leave it! Or, ya know, you can and just go to jail. That works for me, but I’m trying to give you a chance here.”
“Why not just kill me?” Andrew questioned.
“It’ll upset my angel too much, dummy!” Ren chuckled, patting Andrew’s shoulder like he was swatting away a toddler’s joke. “In order to prevent anymore… accidents from her… it’d be better to make it seem like you betrayed her! Which you will if you wanna live!”
Andrew slapped away Ren’s hand, annoyed as he sighed. “And how are we gonna do that?”
“You are gonna drug her!” Ren smiled.
”Excuse me?” Andrew snapped.
“It’s easier than you’d think, especially with this!” Ren smiled, opening the bedside drawer and shaking the bag of white powder. “I can only assume this is Rohypnol since there’s a box here of it. This is a date-rape drug, or a sleep medicine gone wrong.”
“Really?” Andrew cringed, making a face. “I have to literally put it in her drink?”
“Yeah, or a liquid food like soup. Doesn’t matter. Just make sure she eats it.” Ren shrugged, placing the bag back into the drawer. “I’ll leave that there. Remember, you have a week.”
“And if I don’t, I die or get arrested…” Andrew muttered, watching as Ren moved around, grabbing a small box in his pocket before walking into the bathroom.
”Don’t even think about it…” Andrew hissed. “I share that bathroom with her.”
Ren looked over, before shrugging his shoulders. “Fine. Bathroom cameras are off-limits…”
“You’re gross…” Andrew groaned, rolling his eyes. “Why do you need those pictures?”
Ren ignored him, instead placing a camera in another corner of the room for full coverage.
“Why do you bother doing this?” Andrew questioned.
“Why not?” Ren smiled.
Ren noticed the answer didn’t satisfy Andrew as he glared at him, so he spoke again.
“And to make sure she’s doing okay.” Ren hummed.
“I think more than half of her problems would be gone if it wasn’t for you.” Andrew grumbled.
“You can say what you want…” Ren spoke. “But just remember, you have only a week left with her. Do you understand.”
“Yeah. Okay.” Andrew muttered.
“By the end of this week, you should have her unconscious. You will not mention me or any cameras. Nothing.” Ren ordered. “When you drug her, give me a call.”
Ren pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket, his number already written down on it. Seems he had this all planned.
“Be quick about it when you call. The drug shouldn’t take long to kick in. And use the whole bag if you can—the drug is tasteless and odorless so she won’t know any different.” Ren explained.
�� “Okay. Okay.” Andrew hissed, upset as he snatched the paper and shoved it in his pocket.
“I’ll see you tomorrow. I have some stuff to show you.” Ren hummed.
Andrew followed Ren as he put cameras in other rooms of (Y/N)’s apartment, before leaving out the front door, driving away in a silver Honda Odyssey.
Andrew sat around in silence, looking around at the apartment.
He felt angry. Angry at Ren and his blackmail. Angry at (Y/N) for lying to him and taking away his only family he considered. Angry at himself for letting this all happen and being so easy to control.
He felt upset. Upset at Ren taking control of his life. Upset at (Y/N) for pushing her way into his life. And upset at himself for allowing his life to be controlled like this.
“Fuck…” he groaned, covering his eyes with his hands.
.
.
She was knocked to the ground with a thud, landing on her back and quickly on alert. A short yelp leaving her as she got pinned to her carpeted living room floor. Her eyes adjusted to the dark as she squirmed and kicked, trying to kick off her assaulter as she hit and scratched.
It was Andrew.
Andrew had a crazed look in his eyes. An angry expression on his face that matched his panic at the hospital that night he tried to figure out what to do next after discharge.
He was mad, and there was a cleaver raised in the air just a few inches from her face.
“Andrew! Andrew, it’s me!” (Y/N) gasped, reaching her hands up and grabbing his wrist.
Was he mad at her? For what? Does he believe she's an intruder? But that wouldn't explain why he has a cleaver ready in his hand.
"Andrew!" (Y/N) squirmed, digging her nails down into his wrist to hopefully make him let go.
It won't work. He's pumped with too much adrenaline to even register the pain, that or he's able to tolerate it. Either way, both situations are bad for her and could result terribly.
"You son of a bitch! You killed her!" Andrew hissed, fighting to slam the cleaver down.
Oh god fucking damn it. (Y/N) mentally groaned.
Of course he'd figure it out eventually, but she was hoping to break it to him lightly, if that's even possible.
“You don’t understand!” (Y/N) retorted, struggling to hold back Andrew as his free hand tried pinning down her arms. “I had to! I had to!”
“You didn’t have to do shit!” Andrew snapped, furious as the cleaver came closer to her head.
“She was gonna kill me first! I had to defend myself!” (Y/N) blurted out.
“So you killed her?!” Andrew snarled.
“I panicked! The situation was too far gone to de-escalate.” (Y/N) snapped.
“That’s no excuse!” Andrew hissed, the sharp blade of her own cleaver getting closer to her head.
There was a moment where she considered that she might actually not be able to escape this one. With his strength against her, this isn’t a fight she can win.
“So what? I just let her kill me?” (Y/N) scoffed, her voice strained as she was losing, the blade grazing just above her nose and between her eyes.
“Yes!” Andrew snarled. “It should’ve been you!”
The sudden shock that jolted through her body shouldn’t have been surprising, it was her versus his sister, of course he’d choose her over his unprofessional nurse—but it still hurt to hear.
“If you kill me, you’ll pay.” (Y/N) snapped, a new wave of anger taking over her. “Even if it’s not me, you’ll pay. I don’t have to kill you myself for it to happen.” (Y/N) hissed.
There was a falter in his grip, tears welling up in his eyes as his grip loosened slightly, his hesitancy a mistake as she moved her hands off his wrists. She gripped the blade’s end, ignoring the already stinging sensation as it pressed into her palms in a line.
Even if the blade comes down, her hands will take the blow. She doesn’t need her hands to live, and she’s ready to make that sacrifice.
Her anger flared as a wave of adrenaline rushed through her, aiming to survive and escape. She grabbed the cleaver and pulled it back to her, catching Andrew off as he let go.
She kicked his stomach, before pinning him back on the ground, raising the cleaver.
“I can’t do it…” Andrew muttered, tears welting up in his eyes, a look of defeat as he made no effort to retrieve the cleaver hovering over him. “I can’t kill you.”
His hands went to her hips, loosely holding them as he stayed on the ground, (Y/N)’s body hovering over his.
(Y/N) glared at him, the cleaver raised up high as she aimed for his neck, gripping the cleaver’s handle tighter.
“Just who do you think you are…?” she spat out, watching as tears fell down Andrew’s face. “You think you can just kill me after all I’ve done?” she questioned.
Her twin buns were messy, one of her buns loose as her star hairclip threatened to fall from her hair. Her nurse lanyard dangled down on Andrew, one of her hands resting next to Andrew’s head as the other held her kitchen cleaver.
She watched the tears fall down his face, before throwing the cleaver across the room, probably creating a mark on her wall she’ll worry about later. She threw the cleaver so they both wouldn't make a drastic mistake they couldn't change. There wasn't any need for more bloodshed, all it did was get them both in trouble numerous times.
“Was there really no other way?” Andrew questioned, his hands tracing self-assuring circles on her hips. “You really couldn’t have done anything other than kill her?”
(Y/N) paused, thinking. Maybe if she hadn’t provoked Ashley to attack by spraying perfume in her eyes, perhaps they could’ve talked it out. She could’ve made a compromise with Ashley, or even go as far as to dropping the whole murder idea all together.
But Ashley Graves is dead, in an amateur grave (Y/N) dug up and covered with dirt herself, some flowers resting in the forest entrance as an apology and tribute to her. It won't fix anything, not what's happened in the past or future or now, but it's something to ease her mind, help her with the guilt.
“I don’t know.” (Y/N) admitted. “I just did what I could; isn’t that what we all do?”
“It still hurts though.” Andrew sighed.
“It always will.” (Y/N) spoke. “But it’ll lessen over time.”
“It’s just… she’s probably the only thing left that would’ve helped me know who I am.” Andrew groaned, tilting his head to the side to look at the wall, avoiding her eyes.
“You’re Andrew, dummy.” (Y/N) spoke.
“Well I don’t feel like Andrew.” Andrew muttered.
“When do we feel like ourselves these days?” she laughed, as if he made a funny joke.
Andrew glanced up at her, unamused.
“Come on, you have a whole new path ahead of you. You don’t have anything from the past holding you back, so what’s stopping you?” (Y/N) questioned.
“I-I don’t know. Maybe I’m worried.” Andrew stammered, unsure really what to say or how to put his feelings into words.
“About what?” she pried, getting up off his waist.
“I don’t think it’ll work out well for me…” He groaned, exhausted.
“That’s everyone’s fear. You’re not special.” (Y/N) rolled her eyes.
“I mean being a criminal and all…” Andrew added.
“Same boat here.” (Y/N) hummed. “C’mon, surely we can help each other? Make a truce and no more murdering?”
Andrew looked hesitant, staring off to the side as he thought. It was risky, especially after all they've done. (Y/N) lied to Andrew; but so did Andrew. (Y/N) betrayed Andrew; but so will Andrew.
"Okay, fine. No more murder." Andrew sighed, bringing his hands up and wiping the tears from his eyes.
He felt almost embarrassed that he cried in front of (Y/N), but he knew she wouldn't say anything about it. She really doesn't get the right to make fun of him for it after all the times she's cried in front of him.
.
.
Even if they did a truce, Andrew was distant. He stopped sleeping in her bed, and insisted on sleeping on the sleeper sofa in the living room. It doesn't take a genius to know Andrew was upset about Ashley's death; anyone would be upset really.
(Y/N)'s believes the reason why Andrew's so upset about it is because Ashley was probably the only key to Andrew knowing who he really was. Ashley's the only person who knew Andrew before he jumped and got amnesia, and there's no guarantee the amnesia will ever go away; in fact it could potentially worsen.
But (Y/N) would rather not think of that. She can't change what's been done.
However, Andrew hasn't been eating much. It doesn't take a genius to know that Andrew's gone into a state of depression, feeling hopeless and lost on who he is and what to do next.
They've had their arguments and bumps, (Y/N)'s had to force Andrew eat and make sure he's taking care of himself while she's gone at work. It seems like he's just getting worse by the day, and it's been a full week now. Though Andrew's come around to joking and smiling more, there's still a barrier between the two, one Andrew won't allow to break down no matter how many times (Y/N) bangs on it.
But he's eating again, in fact he's insisted on making dinner today after (Y/N)'s complaints. It was Andrew's turn to cook dinner—well, it's been his turn for a while now, but (Y/N) didn't want to force him to cook when he wasn't feeling well. Andrew never really cooked a meal that took longer than 30 minutes, but (Y/N)'s been insistent on him learning how to cook proper meals since it was a basic skill needed as an adult, so here he is being forced (guided) to cook beef tips and rice.
"You're checking the locks again?" Andrew sighed, watching her pace around the kitchen as he cooked.
Andrew stirred the beef tips, watching (Y/N) check all the three locks on each window, she was such a worrywart.
"You're gonna get wrinkles if you keep stressing yourself out like this." Andrew commented with a smirk.
"I think I'd look pretty hot with wrinkles. Like a MILF." (Y/N) snickered. "Besides, I'm just being cautious! Do you understand how many creeps are out in the world?"
"Yeah, I'm looking at one right now." Andrew teased.
"Oh, ahaha." (Y/N) laughed sarcastically. "You think you're so funny? Only funny thing about you is your face."
"I prefer the term 'handsome', but thanks." Andrew hummed smartly.
"Oh, yes, so handsome..." (Y/N) cooed, leaning over the counter and pinching Andrew's cheek, watching his eye close as he accepted the treatment, albeit a hint of hesitancy. "That rice is gonna be done soon. Be a dear and check it."
"Yes, ma'am..." Andrew commented teasingly, watching her let go of his face so he could check the rice cooker's timer.
"What movie do you wanna watch tonight?" (Y/N) questioned.
"I dunno. You decide." Andrew hummed, keeping his eye on the timer before going back to stirring the beef tips.
"Ugh, Andrew..." (Y/N) groaned, walking out of the kitchen to go into the living room and check the locks. "You know I can never decide a movie, that's why you always pick!"
"Let's do a comedy then." Andrew hummed, opening the rice cooker's lid as it beeped.
"A comedy? Okay, let's do an Adam Sandler then." (Y/N) hummed.
"You know there's other comedy actors other than Adam Sandler, right?" Andrew chuckled, a fake one. "Besides, I thought you said you could never decide on a movie?"
"Well, now I decided." (Y/N) huffed, checking the blinds and curtains and locks. "Besides, he's funny! He's got a funny voice and funny lines! I mean, c'mon, his performance in Grown Ups was pretty nice, especially the sequel."
"Whatever you say." Andrew chuckled.
Andrew grabbed two bowls and scoops some rice into each, then topped it with beef tips and gravy. On any normal day, (Y/N) would've complained to him that there needed to be a vegetable as a side, but she was just happy that Andrew was out of bed and standing up on his own for longer periods of time.
"Dinner's ready!" Andrew called out.
"Okay!"
(Y/N) chirped, making sure the final window was locked before closing the curtains.
She walked into the dining room and sat down as Andrew poured some lemonade into a cup.
“Thank you for dinner.” She hummed, accepting the cup Andrew handed her, taking a sip before placing it down onto the table.
“It’s nothing.” Andrew waved off, sitting down next to her.
“Doctor Ryan gave me a basket of hot chocolate supplies today, we should make them for our movie night.” (Y/N) suggested.
“Are you talking about the scrawny guy that’s way too happy?” Andrew questioned.
“That’s the one.” (Y/N) smiled.
“Ugh…” Andrew groaned, already knowing how extravagant that hot coco basket will be.
“It’ll be a waste of money if we don’t use it.” (Y/N) reasoned.
“Still…” Andrew sighed.
Just the thought of another male thinking about her made Andrew feel sick. It didn’t matter if Doctor Ryan was married with kids and her instructor, he still felt annoyed knowing the man got to spend more time with her than he could.
“I can make it after dinner when our stomachs settle.” (Y/N) hummed, taking a bite of her food and washing it down with her drink. “Don’t worry about the dishes either, I’ll wash them since you cooked dinner tonight—which, by the way, is very good.”
Andrew nodded, eating his food silently, looking down at his bowl before speaking.
“Do you think I’m a bad person?” he questioned.
(Y/N) frowned, looking up from her bowl. “A bad person?” she contemplated. “What makes you think that?”
“It’s not what I think; it’s what you think. Do you think I’m a bad person?” he repeated.
“I think… if bad people existed, we all would be bad people.” (Y/N) spoke. “And if good people existed, we all would be good people.”
“Which means…?” Andrew questioned, impatient as he looked at her.
“There no such thing as a bad person, only doing bad things.” (Y/N) huffed. “You know, that famous saying? It was something along those lines at least.”
“Right…” he sighed.
“Anyways…” (Y/N) yawned, covering her mouth, before resting her cheek on her palm. “Why?”
“What do you mean ‘why?’” Andrew questioned.
“What are you thinking about that has you wondering if you’re a bad person?” (Y/N) asked.
“I’m just curious…” Andrew muttered, shrugging his shoulders.
“About?” she pried.
“Do you think…” Andrew hesitated, placing his spoon down in his bowl, before looking at (Y/N). “Do you think it’s okay for someone to do bad things if it’s to protect themselves?”
“Depends on the circumstances…” (Y/N) hums. “I mean, some things can be forgiven and some can’t.”
“Don’t worry about the circumstances, just think of it as whole. Can you forgive me for doing bad things if it was to protect myself?” Andrew huffed, annoyed at her deflections.
(Y/N) paused, thinking. Is he… trying to open up about his past? His crimes?
“Well… I think you should do whatever it takes for you to survive.” (Y/N) muttered.
You can kill someone as long as they tried killing you first, that’s how self-defense works—at least, it’s an excuse for her to feel better about herself.
“You wake up with yourself, you go to bed with yourself, you feed yourself, you shower with yourself; you live with yourself for as long as you live, so only you should matter.” (Y/N) spoke, leaning on her hand and closing her eyes. “I think, it’s best to lend help to others once you’re stable yourself.”
“Right…” Andrew muttered. “So, I’m sorry.” He whispered.
He leaned over the table and moved her bowl and food away from her head, watching her peaceful face as she kept her eyes closed, before she slumped on the table.
Andrew stood up from the table, picking up (Y/N)’s phone and using her thumb to unlock it. He grabbed a piece of paper out of his pockets, dialing the numbers in before holding it up to his ear.
“Ren? I did what you wanted, come get her.”
.
.
“I’m so glad you came to your senses! You did it last minute, I was worried I’d have to find a place to bury you!” Ren chirped, laughing as he entered the apartment.
“Shut up…” Andrew muttered, annoyed.
It hurt. It felt like he betrayed himself more than he betrayed (Y/N). His chest ached, sore from lying to her, but it also burned, knowing that (Y/N) was going to be in the hands of this man now.
“As promised, you’ll live. I’ll give you 4,000 every month for rent, shipping groceries, online shopping, all that stuff. Just money for whatever you need.” Ren explained. “Remember, so long as you don’t leave the apartment! We don’t need the police finding you after I worked so hard to cover both your and my angel’s tracks! It was hard wiping out that camera footage at the mall, you know?”
Ren went around the house, removing all the cameras and microphones for Andrew to live in privacy.
Ren took a suitcase out of (Y/N)’s closet and unzipped it, picking up (Y/N)’s unconscious body and placing her in a cradle-like position, setting her down in the suitcase and zipping her up.
Ren noticed Andrew’s hesitant expression, watching him zip her up so he spoke.
“She’s claustrophobic, but this is just so none of the neighbors see her.” Ren explained. “I’ll make sure to pull off the side of the road and take her out of the suitcase before I get on the interstate.”
“You better…” Andrew muttered, watching as Ren grabbed the suitcase’s handles.
“Well, this is it. Call me if you need anything.” Ren smiled, handing Andrew a phone out of his pocket.
It looked new and pricey, but for all Andrew knows, it could have a spyware on it. He’ll sell it and buy a phone that isn’t hacked instead—but he won’t tell Ren that.
“Thanks.” Andrew muttered.
“I’ll pay you cash the last of every month in the mail. (Y/N)’s rent is due every first of the month, so just place cash in a envelope and drop it off at the landlord’s mailbox in the front. Purchase your groceries online and all that. You probably know everything else now.” Ren explained.
Andrew watched as Ren dragged the suitcase out of the front door, a feeling of dread washing over Andrew as he spoke.
“Hey.”
Ren turned around, an amused smirk on his face, as if he was challenging Andrew to defy him. “Yes?”
“Please… just take care of (Y/N).” Andrew muttered, her name feeling like poison to his throat.
“Of course. I’ve always taken care of her.” Ren smiled.
Andrew and Ren had different ideas of ‘care’, but it won’t concern Andrew anymore after today.
“Bye now!” Ren waved, walking down the apartment steps with the suitcase (Y/N) was in.
Andrew said nothing, watching him walk away, before he finally left his view. Andrew shut the door, shutting them both out of his life.
.
.
“And that’s how you’re here!” Ren smiled, watching as (Y/N) squirmed and tried to kick, her efforts fruitless as she was strapped to an expensive chair.
“Shut up! I hate you! I hate you, cunt!” she screamed, trying to bang her head bang onto the chair, but the straps around her forehead didn’t allow that.
“There’s no point in screaming; we’re in the middle of nowhere! Have you forgotten where our home is already?” Ren chirped.
“This isn’t my home!” (Y/N) shouted.
This is no home. This is Hell, pure Hell as she stared down the Devil.
There is no home for her, only settlements until she ups and moves to the next location. This should’ve never happened.
“How… how did you even find me?” (Y/N) muttered.
“I’ve been keeping a close eye on your parents. I had an AirTag in their car, so when they left town, it notified me and I followed them.” Ren explained. “They led me right to your apartment! So when they stayed the night, I hired a hitman to kill your parents when they leave town, do whatever so they just controlled an AI car to crash into the gas pump, hence the explosion at the gas station that killed your parents!” Ren beamed, as if the story was something to be proud of.
Fucking Apple. Whoever made AirTags probably made them under the guise to stalk his wife, or husband, no judgment.
“You’re terrible.” (Y/N) muttered.
She looked around the room, trying to find anything to aid her escape, but it was fruitless. She was stuck in Ren’s bedroom, in a pricey chair with fancy restraints that he no doubt planned for her to be strapped in.
She’d be watched while Ren is here, and even if Ren led to go work at his father’s prison that he’ll inherit when his father dies, there’s probably a camera and microphone hiding somewhere in the room to supervise (Y/N) while she’s away.
She had no way of escaping due to these damn rubber straps preventing her movement, she can’t even tilt her head. The chair was screwed into the ground, preventing her from even lifting up the chair or knocking it over.
“Why can’t you just leave? Leave me alone!” (Y/N) exclaimed, pissed off.
“Oh, my angel. You’ll understand one day that this is all because of my love for you.” Ren cooed, reaching out and cradling his hand on her cheek.
She tried to snap back and bite his finger, but the straps preventing her from tilting her head to bite him, trapped and felt vulnerable to whatever he wants.
“I really don’t think you understand the gravity of your situation, pretty. You do know that I can easily turn you into the police?” Ren smiled.
“You won’t.” (Y/N) challenged. “You’d miss me too much.”
“I can just visit you in prison everyday and night. Besides, my father owns the place, so I can do whatever I want.” Ren hummed, smirking as he knew the advantages he has to this situation.
(Y/N) frowned, annoyed as she looked away from him.
If only this chair was a normal wooden chair, then she’d just bang the chair legs down on the ground until they cracked and broke the chair. Or at the very least, alert neighbors in the apartment; but Ren lived in the middle of nowhere. Curse this secluded private town and it’s distance from neighbors—the only time she’ll complain about having privacy.
Either way, she’s trapped. It’s not like anyone in this town is even aware that she’s back, or would they even care considering her reputation here is worse than a sewer rat’s. If anything, they’d probably say she deserves it.
Is this to pay for my sins? (Y/N) thought to herself, shutting her eyes.
There’s nothing to do but accept the situation. Maybe after a few months or years, he’ll let her out of the chair and she’ll be able to escape after building enough rapport (because she seriously doubts she’ll develop Stockholm Syndrome for this bastard).
(Y/N) chuckled, laughing to herself at the bizarreness of the situation.
Her father’s kindness to see her turned into her ultimate demise. Or perhaps it was her fault for writing her parents contact information as an emergency contact for her hospitalization.
Everything just always seems to come and bite her back in the ass.
“So what happened with Andrew?” (Y/N) questioned, smiling. “Did you kill him too after he drugged me?”
“No, he’s alive.” Ren answered.
“Shocking.” (Y/N) commented.
“Well, we did make a deal after all. I don’t go against my word.” Ren smiled.
“Funny, considering you said you’d protect me; yet you’re the only threat.” (Y/N) scoffed. “You didn’t protect me from Ashley or Penelope either. Some protector you are.”
“Well I could’ve protected you if you just didn’t run away! You and your silly little brain, angel.” Ren chuckled, smiling as he shook his head, like he was laughing at a toddler. “I am sad to have missed your first murder; but I at least saw your second!” Ren smiled, pulling out some photos of (Y/N) killing Penelope from his pocket, waving it in her face.
(Y/N) frowned. So this was it, the rest of her life with the man in front of her. He has permanent blackmail on her, so even if she did somehow manage to escape, it’d be hard trying to get a whole new identity once a warrant would be out for her arrest, let alone trying to get a damn car to escape.
Damn you, Andrew… (Y/N) thought to herself, though she probably deserves this after killing his sister.
A Grave for a Grave.
.
.
Maddening. That’s how it felt without her. He hasn’t been able to sleep in three days, or was it four? He already can’t remember. It’s been a month, maybe a month and a half? He can barely get more than 3 hours of sleep a night, tossing and turning and tossing and turning in an endless loop.
God, he missed hugging her at night. Only a week of sleeping together in the same bed and he was already hooked on her warmth and softness that’s now permanently gone.
Andrew’s always considered himself as an introverted guy, but it feels like living Hell by not being able to see her.
He finds himself re-cooking the meals she’s made, scavenging through her drawers and cooking the recipes she left—but it never tasted like her cooking.
He finds himself using her bath products, reminiscing in the familiar scent—but it always missed the scent of just her.
He finds himself sleeping in her bed alone, only the ghost of her cold touch hugging him, but it provided no warmth or comfort like she did. Even her scent was starting to fade from the sheets. He missed her touch.
He finds himself waiting by the front door for her, leaning against the wall, sitting on the floor, peeking out the peephole looking for her; but he knows deep down he won’t see her. He just wanted to see her again.
It was his fault after all, he was the one that turned her in. He probably didn’t have much of a choice anyways, it was either that or die, but honestly death seems like a much more bearable situation than having to deal with the burden of loneliness and isolation.
Her phone was left on the charger. He had retrieved it from her purse and used it to call Ren and take her away, but he regrets the decision now.
He managed to crack the password on the fourth day of living without her. It was annoying, but he didn’t have her thumb to unlock it, and it was hard trying to come up with a password since she regularly changed her password as she does with other things in the apartment.
After meeting Ren, he understands her paranoia of security.
He unplugged her phone and looked through her pictures. She barely had any, only pictures of her in high school with who he can only assume were old friends. One had blonde hair with pink highlights and the other had strong muscles and short black hair.
The picture was taken from an angle. (Y/N) sat on a couch with a computer and notebooks in her lap as she wrote. Meanwhile, black hair was taking up some of the couch as she leaned on the armrest, glaring at the blonde who intruded on the picture with half of her head in the way.
The black hair looked like the brawns, the pink hair looked like the beauty (though Andrew thought [Y/N] was just as pretty, if not more), and (Y/N) looked like the brains.
Other pictures included her family farm, some good harvests of the year, pictures of old CD’s she listened to in high school, and old church gatherings.
Andrew found himself staring at her in the pictures, wondering why he never took a picture with her to remember.
He looked closer at the church pictures and saw one of the whole church members combined. (Y/N) stood in a blue dress with a white bow on it, and standing a few persons away from her was Ren, staring at her at he wore a white button-up and black slacks.
That damn man… Andrew thought, annoyed.
Even in their teen years, he was pestering her.
He swiped through more photos, finding more of her family farm, before noticing a picture that caught his eye.
It was a picture of a smaller (Y/N), a few years before her pre-teens, standing next to a wagon filled with a berry harvest. She posed in front of a sign that said (L/N) Family Farm: Fresh is Best below the big font, there was an address.
12920 N Estrella Lane, 39302, Luna, GE
Wait a second.
Andrew plugged the address into the phone maps, coming up with an address 34 hours away.
There wasn’t a moment’s hesitation the way he shot up from bed, scrambling to find his shoes. He grabbed a trash bag, piling some clothes, phone charger, and snacks into the bag. He put on a jacket (Y/N) bought him and a disposable mask he found in (Y/N)’s drawers. He picked up his wallet, an envelope of money Ren mailed to him, (Y/N)’s car keys, and something helpful from (Y/N)’s drawer.
He locked the door behind him, hopping into (Y/N)’s car Ren left considering he couldn’t trust (Y/N) to drive with him (nor would he allow her to drive anywhere and escape him again).
Andrew put the keys into the engine and plugged the (L/N) Family Farms into the car’s GPS.
It wouldn’t give him an exact location, but it’s at least a start. If Ren followed (Y/N)’s parents from their farm, then they must live in the same town. It at least gives Andrew a place to start searching.
Andrew just has to make a quick stop before he confronts Ren. Hopefully, nothing bad has happened to (Y/N) during this past month.
.
.
“Darla Carving got 8 years for poisoning her husband, under the charge of attempted murder.” Ren explained, sitting on his bed, eating some grilled chicken.
(Y/N) tuned him out, annoyed as she stared at the wall.
“Remember how we went to school with her? She used to be an artist, but now she’s just an inmate.” Ren smiled. “But hey, maybe she’ll be the next Van Gough in prison, I’d buy a piece—you’re not listening again.” Ren frowned.
(Y/N) rolled her eyes, annoyed. “Can’t you just shut up and eat?”
“Speaking of food…” Ren smiled, setting down his plate onto his nightstand. “It’s time for you to eat!”
(Y/N) frowned, already clamping her mouth shut, biting her teeth together.
“Now, now, it’ll be easier for the both of us if you just listen.” Ren smiled.
“No!” (Y/N) snapped, watching as Ren grabbed a bowl of tomato soup from the dresser.
“Say ah.” Ren smiled, holding a spoon to (Y/N)’s mouth.
(Y/N) kept her mouth shut. She would turn her head the other way if it wasn’t for the straps holding her head still.
Ren gave up trying to gently spoon it into her mouth, before grabbing her chin and forcing her mouth open, jabbing the spoon down her throat, before scooping up more soup and repeating the process.
Ren finished trying after some scoops, making sure she swallowed before placing the spoon down.
“See? It doesn’t get any harder, only you make it tough.” Ren smiled, setting the bowl down onto the nightstand.
(Y/N) grimaced, closing her eyes as she gave him the silent treatment.
“Soon the Rohyopnol will kick in, then we’ll get you your bath!” Ren cheered.
The tomato soup was laced with Rohyopnol, it just makes it easy for Ren to carry her around, hold her, and bathe her without (Y/N) trying to escape, considering she’ll be dead asleep.
“What pajamas today? Black or purple?” Ren hummed, holding up two pairs of pajamas, both with pants and long sleeves since she’s not allowed to sleep with a blanket in case she tries choking herself (as if she can escape the straps).
(Y/N) stayed firm with her silent treatment, ignoring him. She had 30 minutes before the Rohypnol kicks in and she’ll lose consciousness—she plans on spending that time being petty and spiteful.
(Y/N) kept her eyes closed, ignoring him like a child would.
If you can’t see it, it’s not real.
“Look at me.” Ren snapped, grabbing her lower jaw. “Stop being difficult.”
(Y/N) kept ignoring him.
“I wish you’d just accept your situation. It’s been a month now, can’t we just get along?” Ren frowned.
(Y/N) mentally rolled her eyes, annoyed.
At this point, she’ll suffer from muscle dystrophy being stuck in this chair all the time with no exercise. Perhaps she can bargain with Ren on that; have time out of the chair and regain her strength until she can escape.
“Listen to me!” Ren exclaimed, desperate for control even with the upperhand in this situation. “Why don’t you ever listen, Angel? Is it really so bad? I could do worse such as—“
A shot rang out through the room, Ren collapsing to the floor, hunched over.
“What the f—“ Ren looked up to be met with the barrel of a gun, Andrew’s holding the trigger before quickly pulling it without any hesitation.
“You know, you’d think a guy like this would have security or even good quality locks.” Andrew commented, sighing before he looked over at (Y/N)
(Y/N) froze, unsure if he was a threat or not. He had traded her in, and now he has a gun after turning against Ren. Will he turn on her again?
“(Y/N)…” Andrew spoke, taking in the sight of her, happy to see her before he noticed the straps on the chair.
He walked over to her, walking behind and undoing the leather straps attached to the chair, releasing her.
She stood up, stumbling a bit as she grabbed the nearby nightstand for support.
“What the fuck is your issue?!” she spat aggressively, her legs shaking before collapsing onto the ground near Ren’s bleeding corpse.
It was a pathetic sight, like watching a newborn fawn try and stand up on their nimble legs.
“Get away!” she snapped.
“(Y/N), shh. It’s okay.” Andrew frowned, concerned as he crouched down to her level.
“Who do you think you are?! Some hero?” she spat out, hitting his chest. “You think you can just show up and everything is suddenly sunshine and rainbows? What’s your intentions?”
“(Y/N), I just wanted to help.” Andrew spoke, fighting her hits, placing the gun in his waistband and grabbing her shoulders. “Hey, listen.”
“I hate you!” she spat.
“Can’t you shut up?” Andrew hissed, annoyed. “I made a mistake, okay? I wasn’t thinking, it was my life on the line!”
“How can you think you can save me when you’re the one that put me in this situation?!” (Y/N) scoffed in disbelief.
“I had to do what I had to do!” Andrew snapped. “You said it yourself. ‘It’s yourself for life!’”
“I didn’t mean trade me in though!” (Y/N) hissed.
“You would’ve done the same in my shoes!” Andrew hissed. “You killed my sister for your life! I turned you in for my life!”
(Y/N) paused, annoyed at how she could see the semblance, even if the circumstances were a bit different.
“We’re even now, okay?!” Andrew spat.
Almost. If anything, it felt like (Y/N) owed Andrew more. He killed her stalker and he saved her, meanwhile all she did was kill his sister and lie to him.
She’ll take what she can get. She’s not stupid to try and push this on more when she doesn’t have any good cards in her hand.
“Okay… okay, I get it.” (Y/N) sighed, woozy as she sat down on Ren’s bed.
She ignored the shiver of disgust that crawled up her spine as she sat down on Ren’s slumber spot. While (Y/N) sat in the chair in the dark, she could hear Ren’s peaceful slumbers as he slept under warm blankets.
“I… just want you to know, he gave me some Rohypnol.” (Y/N) explained. “It’s gonna kick in eventually, so I can’t do much.”
It was probably a small pill crushed up and distributed throughout the entire soup, so she probably didn’t drink enough to make her pass out, only enough to be drowsy and possibly caused temporary slow mental processing.
Andrew nodded, looking around Ren’s room before rummaging through his nightstand.
He found a tissue box, some Rohypnol pill capsules, a bottle of lotion, and some polaroids of (Y/N).
“Ick.” Andrew groaned, rolling his eyes, already guessing what this drawer was used for.
“What?” (Y/N) questioned, trying to peek over his shoulder.
“Don’t worry about it…” Andrew muttered, closing the drawer.
“What are you looking for?” (Y/N) questioned.
“This.” Andrew smirked, holding up Ren’s wallet.
How alike they are; they kill someone and they rob them. It’s not the like the dead person will need it anyways.
“Let’s go.” Andrew spoke.
“If we drop by the bank, I can use an ATM and draw out money from him.” (Y/N) spoke.
“You know his username and password?” Andrew questioned.
“Please. His username is his first and last name, and his password is my birthday.” (Y/N) scoffed.
“How cute.” Andrew commented sarcastically, stepping over Ren’s lifeless corpse.
“Not!” (Y/N) snapped, glaring at him.
Andrew led (Y/N) out of the house, glad that Ren lives on acres upon acres, therefore having no nearby neighbors.
“You stole my car?” (Y/N) huffed, walking out of the house as she saw her car parked near the gate.
“How else did I get here? Public transport?” Andrew scoffed, taking the keys out of his pocket. “I’m driving.”
“Yeah, duh. If I did, I’d fall asleep behind the wheel.” (Y/N) spoke in a ‘duh’ tone, hopping into the passenger seat.
“Moody…” Andrew muttered under his breath, annoyed.
“You’re the one that practically sold me for some money!” (Y/N) snapped. “Of course I’m moody!”
“And it was for my life.” Andrew added. “Besides that, what’s next? Back to your place?” Andrew questioned.
(Y/N) paused, thinking.
She can’t go back. Penelope’s dead, and even though Ren erased the store’s camera footage, there’s probably a backup file on an ICloud somewhere. Even if the evidence was completely removed, she doesn’t feel safe going back to that city.
Ren might’ve told someone about her old dwelling, probably his dad, current owner of the jailhouse she was living in for some weeks before Ren bailed her out. If Ren is found dead in his home, (Y/N) would be a major suspect.
Even if she did decide to go back to that apartment, she doesn’t want to live in that shitty city anymore, not with all the crazy shit that’s happened there.
She needs to move away.
“Wanna go on a roadtrip?” (Y/N) smiled.
“Where to?” Andrew questioned, confused.
“Go back to our apartment. We’ll pack up our stuff, sell the car, and take a train.” (Y/N) explained.
“Why the sudden idea? Are your intrusive thoughts winning over?” Andrew raised an eyebrow, putting the keys into the ignition.
“Okay, look. You’re stuck with me; and I’m stuck with you. We have too much blackmail on each other—both ends. So we might as well stick together to keep each other quiet.” (Y/N) explained. “It’s too dangerous for us to go back and stay. Not with all the murders recently. They’ll think it’s you since your home city is just a few cities over. And when they find evidence showing it’s me, it’s over for me too. You need me for money; I need you to keep quiet.”
“Yeah, sounds about right…” Andrew sighed. “So, an official truce now, right?”
“Seal the deal with a kiss?” she questioned, smiling.
Andrew looked over at her, smirking. “Ah, but I thought you were still throwing a temper tantrum?”
“I’m over it. You were reasonable.” (Y/N) hummed, smiling. “A few pecks could really help me, though.”
Andrew smiled, placing his elbow on the glovebox and leaning on it, leaning in and quickly pecking her awaiting lips.
“Hey!” (Y/N) frowned, unsatisfied with the rushed kiss.
“You said a peck." Andrew smirked.
“You know damn well I didn’t mean that! A real kiss!” she huffed, grabbing him by the collar and kissing his lips more firmly, staying there for a few seconds before pulling away.
“Women. You give them what they want and they want more.” Andrew playfully sighed, grinning at her.
“Ahaha. Get going and drive, chauffeur.” (Y/N) hummed.
“Yes, ma’am.” Andrew teased, driving out of the driveway. “There’s some chips in the back if you want them. Have a real snack.”
“I’m gonna take a nap and sleep off the pills…” (Y/N) spoke. “When I wake up, I can take turns driving next.”
“Sure.” Andrew smiled.
As if. He thought, mentally scoffing. There’s no way he’s letting her drive, he’s a gentleman after all!
“You just sit back and get some shuteye…” Andrew hummed, placing his hand on her thigh while driving.
.
.
“All set?” (Y/N) questioned.
“All set.” Andrew nodded, smiling. “Granola?” he offered, holding out a wrapped bar as he snacked on one himself.
“Thanks.” (Y/N) smiled, taking the granola bar in her hands, watching as Andrew swiftly picked up her bags. “Hey! You did that to distract me.”
“You’re just too slow is all.” Andrew smirked, carrying the luggage to the car.
“Mm… right.” She smiled, shutting the door and locking it.
Andrew prepared the car while (Y/N) turned the apartment keys to the complex owner. She exited, finding Andrew waiting for her in the driver’s seat.
“Hey, I should be driving. That’s my car.” (Y/N) frowned.
“Not in 30 minutes. It’ll be someone else’s from Craigslist.” Andrew smiled. “Now hop in before we’re late to meet them.”
(Y/N) smiled, getting into the passenger seat. Andrew drove out to a public supermarket to meet the new owner of the car. (Y/N) negotiated with the customer and managed to snag a few thousands for the used car.
(Y/N) took a cab with Andrew to the train station, getting a first class booth so that they could have a closing door for privacy, that way nobody noticed their faces.
“Hey, look. You’re on the news…” Andrew spoke, although not happy for the news as he pointed his phone (he got from Ren) to her.
“It was only a matter of time for them to find Penelope’s body and the security footage. It must’ve produced a foul smell in that box and—hey! That photo is so unattractive!” (Y/N) exclaimed, cringing at her photo.
A photo of her three years ago, the photo for her legal driver’s license. Her hair was messy and her eyes had sunken in with black eye bags under them, showing her malnutrition since at the time she was homeless in her car.
“Yeah, not so pretty compared to you now…” Andrew hummed, holding up the photo to her to compare.
"Stop that!” (Y/N) huffed, snatching his phone.
“I’m just saying!” Andrew chuckled, smiling before it dropped. “Hey, you sure about this?”
“Don’t worry…” (Y/N) smiled. “Well come back, for Ashley and Hailey. I promised them flowers after all.”
“You promised them flowers? Even Ashley?” Andrew questioned, surprised.
“Of course I did.” (Y/N) frowned. “She might’ve been… a specimen, but she was still a human after all. I mean, I’m supposed to be saving lives as a nurse, whether they’re a kid or not.”
Andrew nodded, looking at the window and smiling, before changing the subject. “Where we going anyways?”
“I dunno…” (Y/N) hummed, thinking. “Greenland?”
“And freeze my ass off?” Andrew huffed. “No.”
“Don’t you wanna see the northern lights. It’ll be so romantic!” (Y/N) cooed.
“Huddling together for warmth like penguins under solar rays?” Andrew smiled, grabbing her waist and pulling her into his side, resting his arm around her shoulder. “Maybe that can be a vacation one day. I don’t feel like starting a fire all the time.”
“They still have heating there…” (Y/N) pouted.
“No. No yearly winter.” Andrew spoke firmly.
“Fine. Iceland?” (Y/N) questioned.
“We can’t go out of states, dummy. We need passports.” Andrew groaned. “Meaning they’ll discover our identities and we’ll take a vacation to prison instead.”
“Let’s take a cruise then.” (Y/N) chirped. “I’m sure not all cruises or boats check passports! Let them leave without us and boom, we stay!”
“So persistent.” Andrew hummed. “Okay, maybe. But I don’t want to live in a damn city, I’ll tell you that. Find a town to live in.”
“A town where we can see the northern lights.” (Y/N) huffed.
“Deal.” Andrew smiled.
“Seal the deal with a kiss?” (Y/N) questioned.
Andrew smiled. He’s definitely come to enjoy their promise kisses.
Andrew leaned in, kissing her soft lips for a few seconds, before pulling away.
“Sealed.” He murmured.
“Good.” She smiled, pecking his lips again for extra measures.
She rested her head on his chest, looking out the train window at the scenary.
It doesn’t matter where she lives. She’ll find another hospital to work at after completing her degree at one of the Treegrowth hospitals for a falsified certificate. It's not the best to becoming a good person, but it's something; however, as long as she has Andrew, she has a feeling things will turn out just fine.
A huge thank you to those who have been following this little book since day one, and a huge thank you to every new reader who just made it here. I truly couldn’t have done this without each and every one of you. All your comments and positivity and criticism helped me tweak my writing to just not mine, but yours.
If you want to read more Andrew Graves x reader stories of mine, congrats! I will be doing an Andrew Graves x Two-Faced! Serial Killer! Reader! I hope to see you there!
Want more Andrew Graves content? Check out the Andrew Graves masterlist!
Inbox is OPEN for questions about the story and new plotlines/ideas, not for requests!
Chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, final chapter (current).
Want to listen to music while reading? Check out the Star Patient's Official Playlists! Multiple different playlists and genres!
#stellar constellations#andy graves#andy graves x reader#andrew graves x reader#tcoaal andrew#andrew tcoaal#andrew graves#tcoaal#the coffin of andy and leyley#yandere x reader#yandere x yandere#female yandere#yandere girl#yandere#yandere x willing reader#x you#x fem!reader#fem reader#x female reader#female
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thinking abt how all of madge's cleric abilities manifest in shades of grey/as smoke/as pyrite and mica except when she heals which is genuine gold
#personal post#orlesian noble lbs#ch: madge underbough#she's technically a cleric of mask but she doesn't know that#her and her cult/friends/b*lsheviki just got cleric adjacent powers one day (for revolutionary activity)#so like whenever i describe it like that it's like yeah she surrounds you in darkness so you can sneak better BUT#it feels comfy like a weighted blanket#or temp hit points wrap around you like smoke from hearth or smoke from a campfire when your with all your friends#u feel very sage from mosquitoes and also punching now#but when she heals it's like oh this is real and this is the whole point and it's why i'm trying to get these stinky gods so ppl can heal
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Ok I posted about this in anger a while back but I'm gonna say it more intelligently and actually tag it because I think it's something people need to hear. Something that bugs me about how people talk about the morality of the men in this game is that a lot of analysis totally glosses over Anya's motives and what she actually asks of people, and in doing so once again strips her of agency. Like. The reason Curly sucks isn't because he failed to properly punish Jimmy, it's because he ignored Anya in favor of her abuser. He didn't listen to her regarding how to move forward, he didn't give her a way to protect herself. No matter what he would have done to Jimmy, Anya is still traumatized and in danger, and that's the most important point of failure.
I think a lot of people are projecting a revenge fantasy on Anya, and while I'm not gonna argue about the validity of revenge here, for Anya specifically I think that's a major mischaracterization. She's the one who says that our worst moments don't make us monsters. And while yes, this could just be her trying to appease her abusers, she still doesn't strike me as a particularly vindictive person. She's a nurse, symbolically in a role associated with care and healing. Before the crash, she seems like a very soft-spoken and restrained person. Hell, she can't stand giving Curly his meds because she feels so bad for him. There isn't really a point in the game where she calls for violence at all. And even if punishing Jimmy or Curly is morally correct (subjective), saying that it's what anyone Should have done still glosses over Anya's wants and needs. It still centers the abuser, even in vitriol.
It's especially weird to see people judge Swansea on these grounds, because like... We don't know what his dynamic with Anya was like. We don't actually know what she said to him, if she even confided about her pregnancy or the SA at all! I honestly think Swansea's actions give more credence to the idea that Anya herself wanted a peaceful resolution. The whole "Oh, I'm holding it together" thing, him becoming more hostile after speaking with Anya... He waits until Daisuke AND ANYA are dead before trying to kill Jimmy. I think the obvious reading is that he wants Jimmy dead, but Anya asked him not to do anything crazy. Genuinely, I think Anya just wanted to be safe. She wanted out above everything. She didn't want more violence. The only violence she commits is against herself in the end, in order to escape this hell her coworkers made for her.
And like. Swansea is kind of the only one who actually did try to protect Anya in a meaningful way. I won't say that he couldn't have done more for her - all of the men on that ship failed her in some regard - but Swansea intentionally keeps the axe out of Jimmy's hands. He keeps the pod a secret, probably to give to Daisuke, but we can't say anything for sure. I joke that Swansea should have killed Jimmy from the start, but if we're being real that would have been an insane thing to do given what the characters know. But Swansea isn't the point of this post. Like. Idk I just think it's really bizarre that when people discuss Anya's assault, they still do it from the perspective of the men involved. It's weird and I don't like it. Like people have said before me: it's not enough to hate abusers, you have to love victims.
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i've been debating on whether to post about this but what the hell, it's relevant both to today's episode and the topic of people trying to smooth over the flaws of Dungeon Meshi characters.... so, uh, remember what i said yesterday about Laios forgetting the basics of human decency when interacting with Izutsumi
i was intially worried about people reading this scene in uhh certain ways but was thankful to see most fans were chill with it... before i realized that. uh. maybe people were being a little too chill
okay............ so,
1. for the record: i believe that it is clear from what we know about him and what we know about the entire series as a whole that, yes, Laios didn't have "untoward" intentions towards Izutsumi in this scene. there's even an aside in Izutsumi's profile in the Adventurer's Bible that says as much. he likely saw it in basically the same way Falin did when she was observing the reproductive organs of the caterpillar in that one scene. FOR THE RECORD this excuse would basically never fly in real life, but for Laios, it actually honestly makes sense... he has a habit of ignoring people's boundaries, he gets ahead of himself when it comes to learning about monsters... he didn't have bad intentions, no, but it doesn't change the fact that he's an adult man (not a [my face contorts with a great pain] "curious boy") who was being really invasive about a teenage girl's body. it was weird. it was 100% weird, lmao, i don't think fans are "lacking media literacy" by saying "uh yeah that was kind of creepy and inappropriate of Laios"
2. and i also don't think it's villifying ND people to say that. if i were to be honest, i would argue the whole "he's just a curious boy :(" thing is a lot more offensive to neurodivergent people. Laios clearly knows about the concept of bodily autonomy- he felt weird and bad about touching Marcille and Senshi in "intimate" ways just to heal them. literally one scene after this one he expresses embarassment about accidentally touching the leg of (who he thinks to be) Marcille. he very obviously possesses the capacity to understand why it would be inappropriate to observe a stranger's body like they were an animal. i can accept the explanation that his monster curiosity temporarily overpowered his "oh actually maybe i shouldn't try to get up close and person with this teenager who i literally just met," but that doesn't change that he had to be restrained from doing that. i'm not even saying he's a "bad person" or anything because of this scene- i just am baffled at the idea of fans being presented with the slightest bit of messiness (he was creepy to a young girl, however unintentionally) and jumping to try and "justify" it (he's just silly, he's socially awkward, he's autistic, he's a Curious Boy) and even mock others who rightfully point out that that was uncomfortable behavior. Laios was creepy to Izutsumi. he didn't mean to, but he did (and to be quite frank he was lucky to get off with a smack from Chilchuck and a blindfold)
3. "I would also ask" excuse me?
#i have been utterly haunted by 'he's just a curious boy' for days#he's just a curious boy :( he's just a curious almost 30 year old boy :( :(#dungeon meshi
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jj is so funny because he doesn’t even pick up on half the looks you’re giving him.
he’s always oblivious for a little while, tugging you around with him on a pogue mission only a few hours after he made you cream on his dick so hard you cried. you’re quiet, uncharacteristically so — not even intervening like you usually would when he pipes up with a dumb idea. you physically can’t. you can’t see any of his faults like this, only latching on harder to his charisma and the way he can command the groups attention at the drop of a hat.
you’ll take any excuse to touch him, giving him the big doe eyes as you cling to his bicep listening to him ramble. “look, i’m tellin’ you guys — it’s a solid idea. we got nothin’ else so i suggest y’all listen to me, honestly.” he clucks in that slightly southern accent that makes your tummy get warm. john b sighs, turning his attention to you.
“you allowing this?” he asks and you simply nod, unable to offer anything but a hazy smile.
when arriving to the abandoned building you were meant to be investigating, you get separated for a little bit — much to your devastation. you wait outside on look out with kie and sarah, whilst the boys check out the inside. jj flips a torch in his hand, chipper as ever as he strolls through the building, looking around.
his two friends eye eachother before speaking up.
“so, uh… jayj, i hate to be the one to tell you that you’re totally blind, but i think your little fangirl out there has been craving a little something from you.” john b arrives at his side, addressing the elephant in the room that the blonde seemed unaware of.
“what are you yappin’ about, dude?” jj is distracted, lifting a cover off some old tools lying around on the floor, making a mental note of how they might help them in a jam.
“your girlfriend looks like she’s constantly about to jump your bones.” pope calls bluntly from behind, a few strides back. jj’s attention is captured and he blinks at the two boys who stare at him with knowing smiles. he glances between the two of them before shaking his head.
“oh, nah — gave it to her real good this morning. had her cryin’ on it n’shit. ain’t no way she’s goin’ again, atleast until tomorrow.” he converses casually as they continue down the creaky path. john b and pope look at eachother with clear realisation on their faces, and the brunette slaps his shoulder.
“so that’s what that face is about… okay. she’s uh… dickmatised, man.” he presses his lips together in a smug smile and jj raises an eyebrow.
“cant just make up words, dude. its not fair. some of us struggle with regular words let alone that bullshit.”
“look, all we’re saying is we are proud of you jj. you’ve clearly been putting in the work.” pope teases making john b chuckle, nudging his arm against your boyfriends.
“y’all are so weird. but yes, for a matter of fact, i have.”
once reunited with you, he can’t hold back his own smirk, tonguing at the healing cut on his lip at the way you agree with just about anything he says, constantly reaching to run your hands along his skin. he finds fun in teasing you, purposely flustering you because he can, turning his whole body to face you and imposing in your space.
“damn, lil’ bitta’ dick and you get shy on me? thats actually very cute. i’m flattered.”
maybe you could go again, after all.
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i hope i never lose you !!!
*ੈ✩‧₊˚ in which they finally figure out they can't lose each other.
or
for when it's forever with them. ˚ ༘♡ ⋆。˚
social media au // max verstappen x fem!reader
prequel - you're losing me ⋆·˚ ༘ *
warnings - language
author's note - part ii !! i really hope you like this <3 i love you so much, thank you for reading!! i'll post that pierre gasly au tonight, in a couple hours so !!! tagging everyone who asked for part ii @tpwkangieee @mirrorball-6 @teenagedreams-cl @kimi240302 @formulas-bitch @ironmaiden1313 @alilstressyandlotdepressy @ushygushybaby @moonsf1
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by yourbestfriend, danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 2,781,926 others
yourusername but on a wednesday in a café i watched it begin again
14,528 comments
username HELLO THE CAPTION?????
username MAX LIKED THIS OH MY GOD
username what in the actual fuck is happening
lewishamilton 🤍
*liked by yourusername*
username WHAT JS HAPPENING OMG
username not her quoting begin again mother i am not that strong
username the fact that she wrote this song for max after her break up with her ex :///
landonorris the caption ⁉️
-> yourusername 🫶🏼
username SHE'S BEING CRYPTIC AGAIN OMG
username are they...................back together
-> username don't do it. don't give me hope again.
lilymhe angel baby 🤍
-> yourusername gf 🤍
username max in the likes whatthebfucjcomg
username the amount of time and work im putting into this will bring shame to a fbi officer like im so invested
maxverstappen1 photo creds ?
-> yourusername photo creds to this weird dude who wouldn't stop following me with a bunch of flowers in his hands
-> maxverstappen1 your FAVOURITE flowers
-> yourusername details
-> username i think i just died.
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by y/nupdates, maxandy/n1, f1_.wags and 6,628 others
formulaonenewz singer/songwriter, y/n y/l/n and formula one driver, max verstappen are back together, an insider claimed. "they both took some time and thought things over and and now they're back, better than ever," they continued, "a new beginning, if you will." the pair were also seen out on a date in monaco before the race this weekend. for more details, click on the link in our bio.
579 comments
username THE WORLD IS HEALING
username i've prayed for this.
username THE SIGH OF RELIEF THAT JUST LEFT ME
username parents did it for us 🙏
username THEY LOOK SO GOOD OMG
username back in lovers era i see
username no bc a new beginning is so
username faith in love 🤝 restored
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, georgerussell63 and 789,715 others
maxverstappen1 i love you and that's all i really know
tagged yourusername
7,826 comments
username SHUT UP SHIR IP SHIT UP SHUT UP SHUT OP SHIT UP
username GOODBYE.
username LOVE STORY ARE U KIDDING ME
username does this mean they're engaged again question mark
danielricciardo FUCKING FINALLY
*liked by maxverstappen1*
username tears are streaming down my face as we speak
username and the whole world cheered
username THE CAPTION IM DECEASED
carlossainz55 hurt her and we have permission to run you over
-> landonorris yes
-> charles_leclerc absolutely
-> lewishamilton toto made sure we knew this. so did susie.
-> pierregasly our eyes are on you, verstappen.
-> danielricciardo real
-> maxverstappen1 wouldn't dream of it.
-> username them being protective of her 🫶🏼
username i love them so much your honour
username parents (y/n and max) did it for the children (me)
yourusername it's a love story baby just say yes
-> maxverstappen1 no ?
-> yourusername it would've been fun if you would've been the one
-> maxverstappen1 TOO SOON
-> username LMFAOOOOOO
≡;- ꒰ °instagram ꒱
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yourusername i hope i never lose you
tagged maxverstappen1
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username THE WAR IS OVER 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
username u don't know how happy i am rn
username from "you're losing me" to "i hope i never lose you" WE WON
username IM SCREAMING
username perfect day to go sky diving with a parachute
-> username going bungee jumping without any harness
lewishamilton the best 🤍
*liked by yourusername*
username they're so ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
username IM SO AHHHSJSJSKSKDJS
username max i've got my eye on u
lilymhe can't believe i lost my gf to that thing :////
-> yourusername forever yours 💌
-> maxverstappen1 ...
username IM SO IN LOVE WITH THESE BITCHES OH MY GOD
username "sacred new beginnings that became my religion" SHUT UP IM EMOTIONAL
username THIS SONG AND THEM OMG
maxverstappen1 i'd never walk cornelia street if it's not with you
-> yourusername damn i hope not after i wrote songs (plural) for you
-> maxverstappen1 and i thought you would be sweet with your reply
-> yourusername my fav guy that goes vroom vroom 😘
username them.
#f1 x female reader#f1 x reader#fake instagram imagines#social media au#f1 imagines#max verstappen blurb#max verstappen x fem!reader#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen imagines#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen instagram au
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Thinking of reader absolutely bitching camgirl!gp!Chaewon. 69ing with her at first but you tasted so good she asked you to completely sit on her face, making her eyes roll back and cumming untouched when you completely sat on her face. Her viewers loved seeing her so submissive because she’s always been the dominant one in her videos.
uh oh!! ill need clean up on isle MY SCREEN😝 (im so sorry)
warnings: g!p chaewon, switch/subby chaewon, camgirl chaewon, switch reader, 69, face sitting, half of a blowjob (does that make sense), chaewon sound like a fuck boy for a bit…, slight dirty talk, mommy kink😔, the viewers r weird um i was literally passed out writing their lines, lipstick marks, i think thats it?
not proofread🎀
all her streams were straight to the point! the highest donator picks out what chaewon and her guest would do
fearlesshuhjin sent $100!
fearlesshuhjin: 69 please!
She looks at you for a second, seeing as her eyes darken for briefly, before turning her attention back to the laptop that was filming you both.
“You got it huhjin!” She laid down, ripping her boxers off as she waited for you to get on top of her. “Hurry up pretty girl.. can’t keep the fans waiting” You gulp as you start to mount chaewon, lowering your face to her hard dick. She grips your ass before giving your right cheek a harsh slap which earns a whimper from you. Chaewon chuckles before bringing your cunt closer to her face, blowing air on your entrance “s-stop fucking teasing!” you say before slapping her inner thigh, “okay okay! fuck…” She licks at your entrance and the viewers saw as her eyes lit up the moment her tongue tastes your sweet pussy, shoving her whole face into your wet cunt to savor the flavor😛 moaning at chaewons eagerness, you start stroking her length while peppering her pink tip with wet kisses, slowly making your way down the sides of her pretty cock, leaving pink lipstick marks to claim it as yours.
“f-fuck mamas, taste sooo good!! need more..please baby” her voice was muffled as comments started to spam as they wondered if this was the real Chaewon or not😭
bitchesonmyd: yooo how tf is chaewon acting like a submissive lil bitch? thought she was a big bad bitch 😒
pussydestroyer69420: bro how can she be big at 163 cm? make it make sense💀🙏
stayhorny: damnn can yall shut the fuck up we came to jerk off not argue tf😤😤😤
user9503620563: could not edge to this, squirted immediately!
user6969: this was NOT her number, still good tho!
her whimpers sent vibrations throughout your core, edging you closer to your sweet release😵💫 taking notice of this, she tried to heal her pride as she starts to tease you “you already close slut? crazyyy we just star-“ “get back to it chaewon.” quickly shutting up, she laps at your pulsing pussy (haha pp) grabbing your hips to force you to grind on her skilled mouth. You sit up, deciding to leave her hard cock to focus on your orgasm more
“oh FUCK!- ugh cmon baby eat mommy some more! shit your tongue… soo good!” grinding harder on her face, suffocating her as your thighs quivered on both sides of Chaewons head😵💫 Chaewon doubled her efforts, shoving her tongue deeper into your fat pussy, wanting to hear your praises more. she gripped your thighs as she started thrusting into the air, you took notice as her cock started to twitch. you put a finger on her tip to stop her from blowing her load all over you, “You fucking stupid or something? think you can cum without mommy’s permission? stop thinking with your weak ass dick and make me squirt bitch.” Wanting to please you, she drilled her tongue even deeper into your core, bringing a hand to rub your neglected clit. Your back arched as your moans turned into loud squeals and screams of her name. Your juices were slowly dripping down her lips, before she licked them to savor your sweet taste. “Ah! s-shit! Im close baby! So so cloSE!” She got excited at the chance of tasting more of you! starting go speed up her movements and exploring more of your sweet, fat pussy😵💫 “O-oh shIT!” you came violently in her mouth, your back arched as you tilt your head to loudly moan into the night.
She drank every drop of your sweet nectar, sucking on your entrance as if she was dying of thirst. “M-mmgh! fuck yeah baby… take it all .. ugh!” rubbing your pussy back and forth on her eager mouth, filling it with your juices. Your pussy tasted wayy to good for her not to cum right away! Her sperm got everywhere! The sheets, your face and tits, even her stomach wasn’t safe from her warm load😵💫 Humping the air as if she was deep in your pussy. As you both rode your high, you grabbed the laptop to check on the comments
cockneedingsucking: What the fuck? chaewon’s supposed to be the dominant one! she has the cock!
finally catching your breath to clap back at this rando
“Bitch! shut the fuck up! You’re probably a sad and pathetic excuse of a person. stay mad no one wants to suck your nasty little one inch wonder”
you ended the stream after the viewers started shitting on the guy, leaving you with a pussy drunk chaewon. Her face stained with your orgasms from earlier and her stomach sticky with her warm load. You slowly lick up all the cum from her abs, gathering it all in your mouth as Chaewon squirms under you. Showing her all of her cum in your mouth, before tilting your head back and swallowing it all in one gulp then showing your empty mouth after a few seconds.
“damn… that was hot as fuck baby.. can I be your girl?”
Chaewon’s words were slurred, seeming as if she was actually drunk from something that wasn’t your pussy. Cleaning her face with the nearest shirt, you cuddle up next to Chaewon. grabbing the nearest pillow to lay your head on it, guiding chaewon to lay her head on your chest. Her soft, half lidded eyes looked up at you, awaiting an answer
“I’ll think about it darling.. rest now okay?”
“okay… stay with me though? please?”
“Of course”
You stroke her hair as her eyelids started to droop, before closing to let Chaewon drift off to dreamland. Kissing her head, you hug her closer to your chest.
I guess this is alright, was the last think you thought of before as you too start to fall asleep..
hi my loves❤️ im so sorry this took so long😭 i was a bit busy trying to save my relationship… AND IM REALLY SORRY ABT ALL THE UPDATES ABT MY BF N SHIT OMG ill get more reqs done soon!
THANK YOU FOR OVER 200 FOLLOWERS HOLY AHIT THERES SO MANY OF YOU
Stay safe and love ya lots!
-Vicky💋
#anon ask#vicky’s asks#wlw#le sserafim x reader#le sserafim smut#g!p le sserafim#lesserafim smut#le sserafim imagines#kim chaewon smut#kim chaewon x reader#kim chaewon x reader smut
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I AM SO OBSESSED WITH YOUR DELIA OMG. Like okay let me gush for a second, you have galaxy brain reads on every pokemon character, they all follow their character notes closely but with like an extra dose of empathy and insight compared to what's in the show, like, "oh, yeah, that IS how they'd be as a real complex person"--like, I love how your Ash is this great mix of the empathy and hopefulness that are his main traits from the show but *also* feels properly like a 10 year old (in a way that respects the intelligence of 10 year olds!!) instead of having the blanks in his personality kind of filled in by the generic rules laid out by "shonen protagonist"
BUT DELIA OMG SHE'S MY FREAKING FAVORITE. I LOVE THE BIT in the cassidy arc where cassidy's like "I see what you're doing" and Delia's like "Shrug! :)" and omg why is that perfect?? Like...one consistent theme you bring out in Delia is that she's so cozy with, and empathetic towards, her humanity. It shows up in her sexuality and how unafraid of it she is and how much she treats it as normal and not-shameful (which I find so healing), and I think what rings with me in the Cassidy bit is that she feels exactly the same way about her being a little catty towards Cassidy. She embraces her own emotional stake in the whole thing with so much love and so much acceptance that it's an okay thing for her to be. I love her. I love your comics. I hope you do lots more.
oh my gosh thank you for such a thoughtful and kind message 😭
I’m so glad you enjoy how I write these characters! I do my best to stay as true to them as possible but it makes me so happy that you also enjoy when I deviate a little bit.
Delia’s such a lovely character and it’s sad there’s so little about her outside of the novels. I’m glad my take on Delia still feels Delia even though I am filling in blanks haha. She definitely strikes me as the type who is ditzy but wiser than she lets on and knows herself, and her emotions especially, very well. She’s kind, and since she’s young, she’s a little naive but not at all a pushover. Idk she’s so fun to write!!
Thanks for reading my little comics 😭😭😭
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the nanny [paige bueckers] part nine
(chapters 15 & 16)
‘the nanny’ master list!
chapter fifteen: pink frosting.
paige pulled her car into her designated spot outside of her condo building, exhaustion clear as day on her face. the estimated thirty minute drive from the airport took longer than necessary, something about a sunday afternoon causing tons of traffic. the thought of having to unload all of their luggage and drag it upstairs already exhausted her even more, knowing madison wouldn't be any help. and the fact it had begun to snow, she knew she had to be fast, or else madison would get busy playing in it.
sighing, paige unbuckled herself from her seat, turning off the engine and stepping out of the warmth of her black vehicle and into the chilly atmosphere. she quickly made her way to the trunk of her car, pulling out the two large suitcases they used for the week, along with the several backpacks they used as well. and as if the universe had heard her internally complaining about the load she had to take in on her own, the sound of a familiar, but completely unexpected, scream interrupted her whining.
the blonde looked up hesitantly at where the noise had seemingly come from, unsure if she'd even want to know. however, it was none other than an excited catherine, standing at the porch of paige's condo. the woman had a blanket she definitely pulled off of paige's couch draped over her shoulder in attempt to protect her from the cold, an arm sticking out as she waved down the two girls a few floors down from her.
and then, as soon as she was there, she was gone. paige furrowed her brows, confused at everything that was happening. maybe it was just because she was tired, or maybe the last argument she had with her mom was still heavy on her mental and could've been causing hallucinations.
"was that cat?" madison asked from beside the woman, only further assuring her that it was indeed real.
"i think so?" paige replied just as unsure.
the brunette returned to their sight a few minutes later, an actual jacket on her torso now as she made her way out of the front door to paige's building.
the same excited smile grew across her face as she got closer to the bueckers, her arms opened wide when she saw madison heading towards her.
"maddie!" the woman called out, to madison's surprise. like she didn't know it was catherine until she heard her voice. the girls face mimicked catherine's as she ran over to her, somehow not slipping in the snowy parking lot. catherine crouched down to catch madison in her arms, squeezing her as tight as she could. "oh- i missed you, mamita. how was it? was it fun?"
madison then went on and on about the trip as a whole, down to the snacks she got to eat on the plane ride back to storrs. catherine just nodded enthusiastically as she pulled the girl out of her embrace, letting her finish her story, her active listening skills showing out.
once madison was done with the majority of her story, catherine stood up from her crouch, her eyes finally meeting paige's blue ones. as if they could read right through one another, catherine immediately knew that look on paige's face, knew the reason for the bags under her eyes, and why she looked so relieved to see her.
catherine gave the blonde a smile, a sweet and gentle one.
"hey, p," her voice was much calmer, softer than when she was just talking to madison. "c'mere." she prompted, walking closer to paige until their bodies connected in a hug, her arms coming to wrap around her shoulders naturally, like they had hugged each other every day.
but they didn't hug each other every day.
they never hugged.
paige's brows furrowed momentarily, her hands hesitantly coming up to catherine's back as she held her in the embrace. though she wasn't expecting it, she was not about to complain. a hug from catherine could probably heal the world, and she'd been patiently waiting for her turn.
every time madison was sad, or had an 'owie', she'd run to catherine for a hug. like it was the only thing that could make her feel better. and right now, paige understood and agreed completely. she'd been looking for this hug all week—she needed it.
catherine could've sworn she felt paige melting into the hug, different from the initial tense body she started hugging moments prior. she could tell paige was tired, in need of some support. her weight was heavy and her grip was tighter than either of them realized.
catherine didn't let herself dwell over the fact that paige was hugging her, this being the first time their bodies were this close, and in such an intimate manner. she didn't think too deeply about how a family of butterflies invaded her stomach, or the sense of relief she also felt during their embrace. and god forbid she noticed the way paige's hands slid across her back and waist as she pulled away from the hug, lingering in its place naturally. or the way it left her mind wandering down a dangerous, inappropriate path—she just focused on paige.
pulling away after a few moments passed, catherine give paige a sympathetic smile. "you alright?"
paige nods, a small smile on her lips. "better now that i'm home."
catherine's smile stayed as she looked between the blonde and the small girl next to her. she knew that paige just needed a break, a moment to relax.
"hey, maddie." the woman fully turned towards the five year old, hands falling to her knees as she bent down to be eye level with the girl.
"hm?" madison hummed.
"i have something super fun planned inside!"
the girls eyes widened and lit up, and catherine would have sworn she saw stars in her eyes. madison was always so excited for an adventure, anything new. "what is it?!"
"you gotta go see for yourself!" the brunette replied in a tone that mimicked madison's thrilled one.
madison made her way through the little snow fall, not missing the warnings from paige and catherine to slow down or be careful as she began trekking several feet ahead of them.
as they walked into the bueckers home, a smell that could only be described as christmas lingered, along with music that fit perfectly with the holiday spirit.
it wasn't until then that paige noticed catherine's christmas themed pajama pants. red and green plaid clung comfortably to her legs, and she paired it with a dark, red top. paige cursed herself internally for basically checking catherine out, her eyes moving up and down her body bashfully. she hated how easily entranced she became in the woman's presence. she hated how her body naturally looked that good. and she hated how she could tell catherine wasn't wearing a bra, and how much it made her stomach flip.
or maybe she just hated it because she knew it was so far out of reach. so unattainable. that's when she knew she was in deep.
'cut it out,' paige thought to herself.
madison gasped a few moments after entering her home, excitement rushing through her, though she didn't know what to expect—the sound of christmas jingles enough to rile her up. "what're we doing, cat?"
"we're making christmas cookies!"
madison jumps in excitement, turning to paige swiftly. "oh! oh! mom, can we put up the christmas tree?"
paige smiles down at the girl, glad there was something to snap her out of her thoughts. leave it up to madison to always keep you on your toes.
"yeah, babe, of course."
˚✧.*
the three girls have been standing in paige's kitchen, all focused on something specific to the cookie baking process as they conversed about their week apart.
"what'd you and molly do while you were there? in new york?" paige asked as she began preheating the oven, looking over a recipe she found online.
"nothing much.." the brunette responds, kneading one half of the sugar cookie dough, madison taking her time on the second half. "she took me to the city for a day, it was beautiful. too crowded for me, though."
paige snorted quietly. that sounded like something catherine would say. "you're the only person to go to new york city and expect it not to be crowded."
scoffing, catherine looked past her shoulder momentarily to stare daggers at the blonde, noticing how she began to struggle with the oven. "listen, i love new york," the woman defended, "seriously, if i ever run away, it'll be to new york." she explained, "but i would not live in the city."
"you're such a baby." paige teased, a laugh following her words.
"can you just hand me the damn cookie cutters, please?" catherine dismissed the blondes teasing, shooing her off to do something that wasn't bothering her. "they're in that bag."
paige rummaged momentarily through the brown paper bag that carried all of catherine's favorite baking essentials, but came up short. taking the bag in her hand, she walked over to catherine like a lost child, "they're not in here."
catherine looked up from her cookie dough rolling and into the dark bag, noticing that the christmas themed cookie cutters were indeed not in there.
"shit, i must've left it in the car." she spoke, mainly to herself.
paige watched as the woman began dusting off her hands and placing her utensils down, like she was getting ready to leave.
"i can go get it," the blonde offered quickly, before catherine could get too far.
"oh, it's okay, i can gr—"
"no, let me," paige proposed once more, this time her hand casually falling to the brunettes back, willing her to stay.
as soon as her hand was there, was as soon as it was gone. though, the chills down catherine's spine stayed stagnant, yearning for her to touch her again.
something about being away from each other longer than they were used to made things feel different now that they were back. the amount of times they had shared touches tonight probably would have added up to every single time they've touched ever before.
catherine cleared her throat in attempt to clear her mind at the sound of her car keys jingling, and the front door closing behind paige.
letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding in, the woman began helping madison roll out her cookie dough.
moments passed and madison if now was the right time to talk. "cat?"
"yeah, mama?"
"grandma got upset that i called paigey mom." madison had waited to talk about this, knowing her mom a little too well, not wanting to hurt her feelings or upset her. this setting reminded her of the first time she spoke with catherine about this, and it prompted her to continue it now.
catherine just snorted, having heard all about it already, "did she?"
madison nodded, "yeah, she was really mad at mom."
catherine shrugged, "it's okay, you don't have to worry about it." she assured the girl, giving her a comforting smile, one that always made madison feel at home.
"why does grandma not like it though?" the girl inquired, pushing away a piece of curly hair that fell in front of her face.
the woman shrugged again, "i'm not sure, mama."
madison thought about what she was about to say, quite intelligent for being so little. she let a long moment pass, willing catherine to look up from her cookie dough once more. she had an expecting look on her face, like she knew madison was wanting to say something.
in that moment, paige made her way back. brand new, unopened, pack of cookie cutters in hand as she stopped in her tracks at the silence she walked in on. as if she knew this was meant to be a private conversation, she closed the door softly behind her, creeping slowly down the small corridor before she walked into the kitchen.
"can i call you mom? or would she get mad at that also."
catherine did a double take, not expecting madison to say that at all.
"what?" catherine asked, but she heard the girl loud and clear. her voice was soft, like that instantly made her fragile, and laced in confusion.
"can i call you mom?" the small girl repeated, her voice youthful and full of wonder, not understanding the deepness behind her words.
catherine didn't know it, but paige's face mimicked hers at the moment, glad she listened to her gut feeling about eavesdropping on their conversation.
"oh, mamita.." catherine started, oblivious to the feeling of tears welling up, "i don't.. you can't.." the woman tried, but she came up short. this meant so much to her—madison meant so much to her—but she knew she couldn't just let that happen without paige knowing, something so fragile. "paigey's your mom, okay?" her voice was gentle as she tried to deny the girl as softly as possible. "y'know, she makes your 'owies' feel better, and she reads you your favorite books to sleep, and she loves you."
"you do those things, cat."
the woman internally cursed how smart and aware the girl was. she really was smart.
catherine sighed, giving madison an unsure look. this was the first time she truly had no answer for the girls problems. madison looked back down at her half of the cookie dough, and catherine wasn't sure if she looked sad or not. "i do love you, though." she assured.
madison looked up, her face bright with a smile again. "you do?"
"more than i think i realize."
"what?"
"i just mean that i do really love you." the brunette explained to the girl, "and i love being here with you and paigey, and helping you grow.." she trailed off momentarily, "and i wanna be best friends forever."
"promise we'll be friends forever?" madison asked the woman next to her genuinely, like she'd be afraid that she would disappear if she didn't.
catherine nodded, her face contorting as she fought back tears. "yeah," she nodded, her voice cracking as she reached to pull the girl into a hug. "of course."
they hugged for a moment, catherine doing everything in her power to not cry—or at least let these tears fall—before madison spoke again. "i love you too, cat."
well, so much for not letting the tears fall. the woman wondered if it would be obvious that she had started to cry, immediately reaching to wipe her tears away, sniffling back any snot that dared to leave her nose.
paige stood down the small corridor, once again mimicking catherine's emotions. they were too alike, sometimes, wiping at her own tears. her heart was full and simultaneously hurting. madison cared for catherine more than her small mind could comprehend, and to think that catherine would never be more than a friend (to her or to madison) devastated her to no end.
the sound of the oven beeping took her out of her thoughts, and catherine's comment after that. "where's paigey? the ovens ready for the cookies."
the blonde quickly tiptoed back to the door, opening it loudly this time before shutting it like normal, acting like she had just strolled in. walking in, she found the girls like she left them.
"cookie cutters have arrived," she announced.
"i call the christmas tree ones!" madison called.
˚✧.*
"cat, it's not turning red." madison spoke aloud her dilemma to the woman beside her, mixing away at the pink frosting that she intended to be red. "is it because the frosting is white?"
the brunette nodded, "that's right, you'd need something stronger to make it red."
madison sat back, huffing at all of the work she put in for no outcome. "boo."
catherine just grinned at the girl, then turning to the other side to catch paige really focused on her cookie design. her brows were furrowed and she had been quiet for a good minute now.
"you're serious 'bout that cookie."
paige nodded, still focused as she half answered. "gotta be precise." she mumbled.
peering over to catch paige's.. artwork, catherine snorted lightly.
"what?" paige challenged.
"he looks wonky." the woman admitted about the snowman shaped cookie.
"you look wonky." the blonde insulted back, to which catherine gasped dramatically.
"take that back!"
"aight, aight, i'm sorry." paige apologizes.
catherine should've known better than to think she was being serious, though.
"it's fi—" the brunette cut herself off at the feeling of paige's finger dragging green colored frosting down her nose.
catherine gasped as madison broke out into fits of laughter, and paige awaited her next move. she didn't pay too much attention though because as soon as she started to laugh, catherine was grabbing the bowl of bright, pink frosting madison was once working on and smearing some down the woman's cheek.
the two stared at each other momentarily before going all in.
their faces and arms were covered in different colors of frosting as they continued to fight one another with the sugary substance. even poor madison was eventually pulled onto the battlefield, though she took it like a champ, laughing all the way to the finish line.
"cat!" the blonde giggled, catherine clearly winning their impromptu food fight.
˚✧.*
their frosting fight didn't last too long before madison started crying about getting some in her eye. soon, catherine was wiping her whole face off with a rag and reminding her of her bed time.
"alright, mama, go hop in the shower and head to bed." the brunette instructed once she wiped the last bit of baby blue frosting off of madison's face.
madison was about to protest, but a sudden wave of sleepiness washed over her, and the sound of a yawn leaving her lips rather than an argument was more than enough reason to take the loss.
paige stood their patiently, watching the way the two of them interacted. she thought about much their bond meant to her. how if madison asked to call anyone else their mom, she would immediately feel jealous, or hurt. but not catherine. something about that felt right. it made sense to her.
the blonde wished her daughter a goodnight, leaning down to place a kiss to the top of her head, praying catherine didn't miss any extra frosting in her hair that would be crusted by the morning.
as madison walked off, catherine turned to find paige as messy as she left her, definitely being the sole winner of their frosting match. she giggled once more, the same rag in her hand coming up to start wiping at her face.
"how's it feel to lose?"
"i don't know, i've never lost before in my life." paige answered dramatically, turning her head to help catherine out with her cleanup.
though that didn't last long, the woman before her deciding to throw the rag at her chest, leaving her to clean herself up. "i'm done with you."
the blonde just laughed as she started at her face again, wiping off the streaks of pink as catherine went to wet another rag, cleaning herself up now.
they stood their in comfortable silence as they wiped away any evidence of their childish behavior, paige being the first to finish. she watched catherine wipe at her face, and noticed how she kept missing this one small, spec of bright green frosting that landed just below her bottom lip over and over again.
"can i.." paige attempted, her hand coming up to rest against the woman's face. her thumb swiftly swiped against catherine's plump, bottom lip.
catherine's breath hitched in her throat momentarily, that being the most intimate thing to happen to her in years. every touch they shared today was more than she was used to, and it was beginning to turn her on.
on instinct, catherine slightly caught her bottom lip between her teeth, still looking up towards the slightly taller blonde.
the air was stuffy all of the sudden, neither one of them willing to move or speak first.
they shared a look of understanding—like they both knew what just happened, how the air shifted, and how their eyes were suddenly darker—and it was too late to try to brush it off without acknowledging it.
the feeling of paige's gaze sent chills down the brunette's spine. cocking an eyebrow at her, catherine waited for her to say anything. at this point, she was waiting for her to make a move.
though, she wasn't sure these feelings she kept denying were being reciprocated.
the moment came and went with no verbal communication for a long, quiet minute.
"there, you.. sorry, you just kept missing it." the blonde finally spoke, her hand finally dropping from the woman's face and into her pockets as she felt the sweat begin to pool in her palms. she wondered if catherine could feel it, and it caused her cheeks to grow red.
"oh, uh, thank you."
another long moment of silence washed over them, the tension in the air begging for either of them to speak.
"do you, uh, wanna stay and.. catch up?" paige asked, a tone catherine would only describe as shy in her words, one she had never heard from paige.
catherine was about to say no, attempting to run away from her feelings once again. and then, she heard the unfortunate tone of her best friends voice in her head. "you're not over chris and that's why you don't want to accept that you like paige."
catherine knew she was over that part of her life. and she knew she wanted paige. she needed to stop running. paige had been nothing but sweet and caring to her. and there was something about her that was different. something she'd never experienced or felt with anyone ever before. whether it be just a friendship or something more, catherine knew she didn't want to let the woman go, for she'd grown immensely attached to her and madison.
maybe it took molly's pushy attitude, or having to go so many days apart, but she had finally started to accept it.
she really did like paige.
"yeah.. yeah, i'd love to." catherine spoke breathless, nodding softly.
paige's smile in return was nothing short of the definition of giddy.
chapter sixteen: it's kinda hot.
˚✧.*
the two women were having a great night together, catching up about their weeks apart, and more in depth now that madison wasn't present for it. they shared their feelings about the adversity they were met with, paige more than catherine by a long shot. catherine was a great shoulder to lean on for paige, and paige knew she wouldn't let her be down for long. like when she offered to show her an interpretive dance to some christmas tunes to get a laugh out of her.
paige was sprawled out on her living room couch, sinking into the dark grey cushions, a random blanket balled up behind her head to act like a makeshift pillow. the room was dim, only illuminated by the warm lamp in the corner and the t.v. right in front of her.
a smile tugged at her lips as she watched the show catherine was putting on in front of her. the woman was still clad in her christmas pajama pants, still sad deep down that paige wouldn't match with her for the time being. a half empty wine glass sat comfortably in her hand as she danced, paige praying to god that she didn't spill any of it on her nice carpets.
"okay, and then you do this.. 'feliz navidad.'" the brunette sang dramatically, pacing the living room, her bare feet shuffling against the soft carpet beneath her.
paige just snorted, closing her eyes momentarily as she shook her head at the ridiculousness in front of her. a look of adoration played on her face like she was entranced, grinning at catherine. "no way you're doing this right now."
catherine totally dismissed her statement, her focus now on the blonde before her. the woman inched closer to her, eventually letting her palms rest against the small coffee table separating them right now. she leaned in closer, examining paige. her face must've replicated the curiosity in her mind, because paige's brows quickly furrowed, nervous at why the energy had just shifted, almost pulling back when catherine leaned in. "what?"
catherine's face softened instantly at her words, grinning down at paige. half thinking about what she would say next, she shook her head. "your eyes look so pretty in this lighting."
that was only part of their activities for the night. they shared the cookies they made earlier, sure to not eat too many so madison could enjoy some the next day, trading in their alcohol for a cold glass of milk (paige going the extra mile and making hers chocolate).
they dared one another to go outside into the cold, snowy storrs night with no jacket on to see who could last the longest—spoiler alert, it was paige.
and the other made catherine question whether or not she wanted want to runaway all over again.
paige was hovering over the light purple suitcase she had just hauled onto her clean sheets, rummaging through the clothes and accessories she had in there from her trip to montana that week. she knew if she didn't tackle it now, she never would.
her knees lightly tapped against the black bed frame each time she leaned in to pull out an item of clothing, folding them semi-neatly if they were clean or throwing it into her hamper if the opposite. she focused in on this little task, leaving her and catherine to sit in comfortable silence outside of the christmas music they could hear still playing in the living room.
the woman looked up from her chore to find catherine slowly walking around her room, arms crossed naturally over her chest. a smile played on her plump lips as she took in all the little details paige encouragingly incorporating into her small, personal space: pictures and polaroids of her loved ones framed or hung up along her off white wall and dark dresser, her small book collection of strictly romance novels that rested comfortably on her minimalistic bookshelf that azzi got her into, her choice of dark blue bedding that had a small uconn husky specifically stitched into the left corner of it—everything.
"you're so cute." the brunette called out from the other side of the bed, which made paige look up quickly. her eyes would have widened and her stomach would have dropped had she not caught catherine looking at a picture of her when she was about seven years old, sporting a clearly oversized football jersey. that quickly calmed her thoughts.
"thanks." the blonde chuckled out, looking back down at the last few pieces of items she had to return to her living space from her luggage.
catherine continued to snoop, really taking in every picture paige had hung up on her dresser. she recognized the woman's teammates in a lot of them, and a woman in one that she assumed to be paige's mom. they had the same smile. and she couldn't help but notice the one of her and madison sitting together at the park near the woman's condo.
it was a selfie catherine took a little over a month ago that she had sent to paige as a mid day update, having known she probably wouldn't have seen her daughter that day.
it made her heart flutter. she really was apart of their lives now, and she played an important role. and something about seeing her face in a framed photo with her favorite person in the whole world in the bedroom of her other favorite person (in the whole world) sort of solidified that in her mind.
but, what really got her was a picture of paige and madison right after the girl was born. it was an intimate photo, one paige probably didn't show everybody she ever met or would talk about madison to. she was holding newborn madison, sunk into her hospital bed and gown, smiling down at her daughter. it brought tears to catherine's eyes, gasping lightly.
"oh.." her voice was soft, genuine. paige looked up, wondering what photo catherine was looking at now. but, by her reaction, she almost knew which one. "que lindas.." the woman spoke out loud with her native tongue, complimenting the girls in the picture, picking up the framed photo to examine closer.
paige was about to ask what that meant, but the other question that had been on her mind quite a lot poked first. "where's your accent from?"
catherine looked up from the picture in her hands, gently placing it back into its respective place. she cleared her throat so her words didn't come out as small as they wanted. "puerto rico.." she trailed off, cheeks growing a light shade of red that looked almost dark pink against her skin. "you can hear it?"
the blonde shrugged, lips pursing as she thought to herself. "it's faint. comes out a little when you speak spanish."
catherine began to fight with herself mentally, hating that anybody could hear it. to her, it sounded bad, out of place. she needed to watch what she would say. but being around paige and madison just felt so comfortable and normal she would not even think twice about half the things she said or did. "god, that's embarrassing."
paige shrugged once more, disagreeing with her statement, shaking her head. "it's kinda hot."
the woman simply laughed, true and genuine, throwing her head back once in amusement. those were honestly the last words she expected to hear from her.
"fuck, are you drunk?" she asked seriously, though she was still chuckling. something about paige saying that to her face completely sober just didn't add up in her mind, especially knowing how she was when she was under the influence.
"not anymore. wine isn't as strong as i thought."
shaking her head, trying to distract them both from that comment, mainly so she wouldn't blush, catherine started to brew together a joking insult to lighten the mood. "weird. for such a big person, you're such a lightweight."
"what the fuck do you mean 'big person'?" the blonde asked, jokingly offended, as she slid the now empty suitcase off of her bed, rolling it over to an open corner in her room.
catherine scoffed like it wasn't an obvious fact, hands coming up to rest on her exposed waist. "jeez, p, i mean—two dirty shirley's and you're gone."
"you're literally a liar!" paige countered, voice high pitched, unable to believe the playful teasing coming her way. she made her way over to catherine, sitting at the edge of her bed.
catherine's brows shot up, a challenging look on her face. "should i remind you of the first night we met."
"cat, you swore we wouldn't talk about it." paige warned, a finger coming up to hang in the air like it would pause the woman's thoughts, make her forget about what she was about to say. "plus, you put double shots." she explained to her defense.
however, catherine didn't hear any of that, a playful grin on her face as she thought about the fire she was going to start.
slightly inching towards the blonde, who was now fully sat at the edge of her bed, legs spread apart just a little, her feet planted on the ground, her voice dramatically mimicked paiges. "'you have such a great body, cat.'"
the woman simply shook her head, not willing to let her laugh come out. and she prayed that the heat now rising through her body at the reminders of how she first felt
for catherine wouldn't show up against her pale cheeks, her palms already growing sweaty.
"'mm, cat, that's such a cute name.'" the brunette continued, determined to get paige to crack. though this time, instead of trying to sound like paige, she put on her best, funny impression of a seductive voice, this making paige even more embarrassed.
"catherine!" paige pulled out the full name, begging her to stop. she couldn't believe this was happening.
"ah, cat, come meet me in the bathroom."
the blonde finally laughed out loud, shaking her head back and forth, waving a hand in the space between the two. "i didn't say that, you freak."
catherine scoffed, "me the freak? can you even recall the name of the girl you actually hooked up with in the bathroom that night?" she challenged once again.
to which paige had no answer for her, dismissing her completely. "oh, you wanna know about my sex life?" she challenged. "very personal."
the brunette rolled her eyes at her dismissal, though she was actually want to hear about her sex life, prompting her next response. "yeah, actually."
paige just shook her head, her turn to dismiss catherine, "get outta here.. acting like i was thirsting over you or sum."
"you so were."
paige's tongue met her front teeth, sucking against them and looking away, hiding her embarrassment. "was not. i'm just a nice person, thought you shoulda known."
catherine rolled her eyes, attempting to turn back and face the army of photos she had been observing. then, suddenly, a wave of confidence she didn't normally feel unless she was working the bar took over. though, it didn't come out as confident, more so just bold. especially since she was shyly looking away. "what else, then?"
paige furrowed her brows, taking a sip of the chocolate milk she had been lugging around with her all night, before reaching over to leave it on the nightstand where her lamp was, that being their only source of light. smacking the taste against her tongue one time, she asked, "'what else' what?"
maybe she got too ahead of herself. it could've been the wine from earlier, or the undeniable signs throughout their day together that they were both feeling the same, but she wanted to know for sure. she needed to know. "what else do you think."
even paige was unfamiliar with this kind of attitude from catherine, the shift in her tone and attitude clear as day. it was the kind that attracted her to the woman the first night they met. it made her cheeks grow hot, though it could've just been the wine. or maybe that was just an excuse. she wasn't sure what she wanted her mind to think.
"'bout you?" the woman asked, her tone more confident though she was nervous, both her and catherine's body language and tone of voice contradicting how they felt inside.
catherine simply nodded with a light hum. "mhm."
"for real?" paige asked again, and catherine nodded once more. she was genuinely curious now.
"i mean.. you're great with maddie." she started, her sweaty palms now feeling like pools the more she thought about her feelings for catherine in depth. for a moment, she clasped her hands together, before ultimately opting to let them fall at her sides, holding herself up against the soft bedding.
catherine wanted to roll her eyes, probably a reaction from the anxiety she was starting to feel. paige simply had to have more to say than that. and if she didn't—if all paige saw her as was a caregiver to madison—then catherine needed to reevaluate her feelings.
the brunette simply just cleared her throat softly, stepping back to lean against the dresser behind her. "that all?"
the blonde gently shook her head, soft eyes looking at the woman before her. "you're.. genuine."
catherine nodded, willing paige to keep going. to fulfill the need she was feeling. 'just say it' she begged internally.
"and smart. and caring." paige continued.
"that's it?" the woman asked one more time, though it came out more desperate and needy than whiny, her tone completely giving her away. paige playing hard to get was only further stressing out catherine.
paige quirked an eyebrow as her eyes shifted, something in them turning dark and catherine couldn't help but notice. her lips tugged into a small smirk, and her voice dropped an octave or two. "what do you want me to say?"
her voice was teasing, but not the way catherine was familiar with. no, something much more dangerous, intense and intimate. one that would send her home thinking about it for days and cursing herself for feeling so turned on by it.
and suddenly that need for paige—in her mind, her heart, and another place that need not be mentioned—was even closer to being satisfied.
the way she looked right now, the way she spoke, it was everything catherine had ever needed. she needed her. she wanted paige to stop playing. to just say how she felt. it was hypocritical because she herself couldn't even do it, but paige's hesitation only psyched her out more.
catherine took a deep breath, needing to steady her thoughts. they were going far too left, she needed to ground herself. but, man, was it hard. she sighed before she shook her head, "nothing.." she admitted, allowing their moment to die, turning back towards the dark colored dresser to finish up her snooping.
paige's face dropped at that, thinking they were finally about to get somewhere. that either of them were about to break, reveal the obvious. she then wondered why she herself hadn't made any moves yet. though she thought she was being the most obvious out of the two—and catherine only being obvious because she wasn't aware of how clearly she was showing her feelings—why couldn't she make herself tell catherine how she felt?
maybe she didn't want to mess anything up. catherine was consistent. something- someone in her life, in madison's life, that would always be there. and how she was with madison, their bond, it was like no other. a real, genuine connection that they shared that even paige herself couldn't wrap her head around. she couldn't possibly ruin that.
then again, what if something better came from this? paige had never even taken the time to think about settling down, though she knew she'd have to, and she'd want to one day, especially not so young and so fresh into her career. but, thoughts like these left her pondering. left her hoping.
"tell me." paige insisted, not willing to let this moment, their moment, vanish.
"paige.." the brunette trailed off, shaking her head lightly, turning on her heel to face the woman. she regretted the boldness she was feeling earlier and what it lead her to do. now, things felt more real. though it had all gone mostly unspoken, it was pretty clear. "you know i can't."
"why not?" paige pushed. this was the farthest they had ever gotten, and considering this was almost nothing, she had to keep trying. "c'mon, cat."
"it's not that easy." the woman spoke matter of factly, trying to hide how she felt with a plain face. paige could always see right through her, though.
"it can be." she stood from her spot on the bed, inching towards catherine. catherine's eyes followed paige, trailing up once she was fully standing, those few inches she had on her feeling a lot more powerful in this setting.
catherine's arms folded over her chest naturally, eyes still following the blonde coming closer, and closer. she was sure paige could hear her breath hitch in her chest, like she knew exactly what to expect.
in a swift, smooth motion, paige allowed her hand to creep up to catherine's face. slightly calloused fingers came up to hold her cheek, the blonde praying that her hands weren't still sweaty. thumb swiping against her cheekbone, she admired her face. that damn face that always made her melt. never leaving her mind, no matter what she did. her long fingers stretched across the woman's cheek, her hand sliding slightly upward, gently scratching against her scalp.
catherine's eyes shut instinctively at paige's touch, something about this new feeling already so comfortable, leaning into her. the woman sighed with a hum, one paige wanted to place as a soft moan vibrating in the back of her throat. she then let her arms drop from her chest, a gesture that was now symbolic, almost like how she was slowly letting her walls down.
"fuck, stop running from me." the woman pleaded, eyes soft, her tone hushed and raw, though it was meant to be endearing.
she didn't want catherine to disappear again. after their week apart, and the period when catherine was m.i.a. for a brief two weeks, it was the last thing she'd ever want. she couldn't handle catherine not being in her life, not even for a little bit. she wanted catherine around for everything, all the time, for the rest of her and madison's life.
catherine frowned. she couldn't see, her eyes still closed, but she could hear how emotional paige was just from those words. her tone, needy and affectionate, it made her knees weak.
"cat?" paige spoke gently. catherine's eyes, now doe, fluttered open, looking up at paige through her lashes. a small pout lied on her lips and she couldn't help but feel small, childish. paige was breaking down her walls, and fast, and she didn't know what to do.
their eyes met, and catherine knew paige was asking her a question through them. she wanted her to say something, anything.
but alas, catherine was running, after deliberately being asked not to.
"i don't know what to say." the brunette admitted, a frown playing on her plump lips. sad at how bad she was at not only accepting her feelings, but understanding them and being able to express them. catherine sighed, looking away from the blonde before her. "maybe we should call it a night. i'll sleep on the c—"
fortunately, catherine could never finish that statement.
paige's soft lips had met catherine's in a hushed and hurried manner, not wanting to hear the next excuse catherine was doing to ride with this time. not wanting to let her feelings for catherine go no where. not wanting to let their moment go.
the blonde had leaned down into the kiss, pulling catherine into her more and more, tilting her head up just slightly. her one hand rested comfortably between her cheek and the back of her head, while her free one opted to fall to her waist.
catherine's hands fell to paige's waist, still secured in the hoodie she had worn traveling back to storrs earlier that day. she wasn't sure if she wanted to smile into her or pull back.
the brunette was surprised to find herself kissing back in the first place, normally being the type to freeze up. the taste of the wine on her tongue and the chocolate milk on paige's creating an odd but addictive taste.
the kiss was enough to make her mind go mush, and almost completely forget about what she was about to say in the first place. however, it wasn't yet strong enough to keep her anxiety at bay.
pulling away almost frantically, catherine wondered. "fuck, what're you doing?" the woman asked, breathless.
the blonde just looked at her, a look in her eyes catherine has definitely never seen before, not willing to move her hands off of her.
"shutting you up." paige stated, matter of factly, just as out of breath, before she pulled catherine into her again.
authors note!
the things i'd do for some chocolate milk right now. anyways,
EEEEEEKKKKKKK!!!
finally, i've been dying for them to kiss for forever. it's about fucking time—now fuck😛 ugh honestly though i'm so excited, i just wanna write them for the rest of my life, im emotionally attached and invested LMAO
but, as per usually, tell me all of your thoughts! i know i always say this, but your comments are my favorite, and they give me so much motivation!!
thank you for reading! love yall!🩷
- mari 🫧
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Scars That Bind
**WARNINGS**: implied ptsd, scarring, angst (but w/ happy ending)
~~~~~~~~
@httpvomitello ,"Hi Hi, how are you? So I was wondering if you could do a one shot with Donnie x f! reader who is his girlfriend. It would be after the event of the second film, where she helps with the fight and everything. However, she ends up with a big scar on her back, but she never got around to revealing it to the others because she was ashamed to show it, and because of that, in those weeks she almost didn't let Donnie touch her, whether it was a hug or a kiss. Until one day, he accidentally sees the scar, and after her explanation, he comforts her and things get better.
A/N: oh boy this is much longer than i had planned it to be! hope y'all still enjoy though! im just gonna go cry in a corner after having written this ╮(T▽T)╭
~xXx~
It had been weeks, and yet the events of the Kraang attacks still effected you. Effected your life. It hadn't been as often as early on, but you still had nightmares. Still awoke sweaty and fearful from a nightmare that played out way differently and more devastating than how the real battle had ended victoriously. Well, mostly victoriously. Yes, the four ninja brothers you had helped and fought alongside went home with some new scars that they would no doubt proudly brandish, but the one you took home made you feel anything but proud. Anything but strong like how the turtles felt about theirs.
The large, healed but still freshly ugly wound across your middle back would be a forever reminder of how things could have gone terribly wrong for you that day. You were lucky to make it out alive in the end, but you had not only been physically scarred, but mentally as well.
What if you hadn't made it out of that slippery situation? What if it had happened and then Donnie, your everything, wouldn't have even known, to busy off fighting the big bad boss? How could you leave him, leave everyone, so suddenly in your foolishness to be more than what you were? A fragile human, trying to be a hero like her mutated boyfriend who had been training to fight his entire life?
The near death experience left you thinking and imaging the worst nearly every waking moment, and it seemed to effect more than just your lonesome. It had started to effect your relationship with Donnie. You can't remember the first moment it happened, but you remember every other time you had rejected his touches. The poor man couldn't get a kiss from you, much less a hug, and he had no idea why. The hurt in his eyes always tugged at your heart strings, but not as much as if he were to find out about the permanent alteration to your body.
If he found out, he would surely blame himself for not being there to protect you. Something you wanted him to not do. He along with his super brothers had more pressing things to be worried about, not a single human when they had the whole of New York on their shoulders. Your horrific dreams of death had also instilled in you that very great possibility of just how much danger you truly were in being with them. Yes, it was something that you had all known. April, Casey, and even Vern were just as in likely danger simply by being friends with the turtles, but no one really realizes the weight of something till it comes crashing down on them. Like it had to you.
If one day something happened to you, you didn't want to leave behind a deeply heartbroken and changed Donnie. Making distance would surely make such a casualty easier to deal with if there was nothing no longer there right?
Right?
You chocked on a sob, eyes screwed shut with clasped hands against your reddened face. The staggered cry quietly echoed off your bathroom walls, the only other sound being the slight slush of water in the tub you had planned to get into before you had caught a glance of the cursed marking on your back in the mirror. Now, you sat on the edge, trying your best to reason with your recent actions, but your heart and subconscious knew the truth and would not let you get away so easily.
Images of Donnie's hurt face only a couple hours ago still projected freshly in your mind. The pain in his eyes when you stepped back from his open embrace and rejected his goodbye kiss before you departed for home. You've seen the genius sad before, but never had you seen him so dejected. Knowing that you were the cause, hurt even more.
"But it's for his own good.", you sobbed aloud.
Than why did it feel so wrong?
Suddenly, something had fumbled and hit the tiled floor loudly, causing you to nearly jump out of your skin as you swiftly turned on the edge of the tub to see the last person you wanted to in this exact moment.
There, standing in the entrance straight as a pillar and eyes so wide they might pop out of his head, was Donatello. He had come to return back your phone, that of which he had called deciding it was finally time to talk about your standoff behavior towards him when it rang from the lair lounge. Now though, a call to work out the reason was no longer warranted, the off color patch of new skin and flesh on your back still crystal clear in his mind.
"I. . .", Donnie faltered, one usually a dictionary of speech, now speechless.
You on the other hand, were much more reactive. Your heart picking up pace, as you were quick to grab your towel and wrap it around, stepping out of your forgotten bath and racing to get out of this situation.
"I-I wondered if I had forgotten that, thanks Don, you can go-"
You had tried and failed to push your way past Donnie after swiftly grabbing your phone off the bathroom floor, but the turtle in purple was much faster and had grabbed hold of your arm just as you entered the hallway.
"How. . .how long have you. . .", Donnie swallowed, still struggling to find the words.
You felt your heart drop in your chest seeing the agony in Donnie's knowledgeable gaze.
"Donnie, please. . .", you mutter barely above a whisper, lip beginning to quiver.
"When you said you went to the hospital to check on a friend, did you really go for yourself?", he questioned, brows furrowed as he looked down at you, but you were careful to avoid his gaze.
You tried to pull your arm from his grasp, but Donnie held firm. He wasn't letting you go this time.
"(Y,n), please, I'm just trying to understand."
"There is nothing to understand.", you gritted out, angry with yourself for the tears that threatened to spill once again.
"How could you say that? You have a-"
"I know!", you finally snapped, glare flashing up towards Donatello.
Said turtle was stunned, but soon relaxed his expression, slowly letting go of your arm to take a step back. You cursed yourself internally, looking back to your hallway's carpet and holding yourself tight. A moment of tense silence befell the both of you, neither speaking and both refusing to look at the other. Your heart ached, and so did his, but it was not you who apologized first.
With a tight throat, Donnie was first to speak quietly.
"I'm sorry. . ."
"Don't say that.", you thought to yourself, another stinging pang shooting straight through your chest. Fighting back the urge to cry, you shook your head, chancing a glance at your slumped boyfriend.
"No. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have yelled. It's just. . ."
Donnie looked up just as you looked down the hall, but your gaze was else where. It was a look he was all to familiar with, one he'd seen after terrifying incidents he and his brothers had experienced.
"Is that why you've been so distant?"
By that, you knew Donatello meant your scar.
The reference broke you, nodding as you started to sob and weep, new tears making new streaks down your face. Donnie muttered a quiet 'oh', opening his arms as you quickly crossed the short distance to fall against his plastron. The moment his strong arms wrapped around you, your heart had exploded, cries racking your body as you sobbed loudly, not caring if the neighbors heard. It had been so long since you had embraced each other, since you had been this close to the person you fell so deeply in love with, that the sensation of Donnie holding you felt as though you had finally returned home after an arduous journey across rough seas.
The entire time you cried Donnie stood cradling you, rubbing your arms softly and murmuring quiet whispers of "its okay" and "let it out" against the top of your messy hair. Neither of you knew how much time had passed, Donnie undoubtedly willing to hold you up if your legs no longer could, but soon you had calmed, only letting out shaking breaths and a few soft sobs here and there. Once you felt you had regained enough strength you gingerly used Donnie's strong plastron as leverage to push your self back, just enough to still remain close but also peer up into his worried gaze.
"I'm sorry Donnie. I never wanted to hurt you. I was so scared about how something happening to me would effect you, when I've been causing you that pain this entire time. I'm so, so sorry Donnie.", you choked out, feeling as though you were ripping off a band-aid and at the same time having heavy weights lifted from your shoulders.
"Oh, (y,n).," Donnie muttered, reaching up to move a strand of hair from your sticky, tear stained face. "I only wish I had realized sooner what you were going through. You shouldn't have faced this alone. I should have been there to help."
You bit your bottom lip, shaking your head slowly.
"No Donnie, that's exactly part of why I acted the way I did. I don't want you to blame yourself for what happened."
Donnie's grip on you tightened, a pit forming in his chest. That scar. It grabbed him by the throat and had him in a choke hold the second he stepped into your bathroom. When had you gotten it during the Kraang attack? Were you alone the whole time? How did you get such a wound?
Donatello had to be quick to stop his thoughts before they spiraled into picturing unsavory images of just how exactly you had been hurt. He hated it, this revelation that something seriously bad had happened to the person he loved and he wasn't there to do anything about it. If he'd lost you, he'd surely would have lost himself.
Leaning forward with tightly shut eyes, holding back his own tears for your sake, Donnie's lips pressed firmly to your forehead before slowly pulling back. His beautiful gold eyes found yours, a comforting smile gracing his features as you tiredly peered back at him inquisitively.
"Sorry, dove. I can't say that I won't, but I promise I'll try to as long as you promise me something."
"Anything, Donnie."
"Promise me that you'll always remember I'm here for you. That you can come to me about anything, and to please let me help fight your battles with you, just as you so bravely have done for me."
Your lips formed into a smile, the first genuine one in who knows how long. Your head fell against Donnie's strong chest once more, your arms squeezing him this time and feeling your soul being filled with a warm, positive feeling for once as the tallest ninja turtle returned your embrace with just as much love.
"I promise.", you spoke just above where Donnie's heart lay protected by plastron, the feeling of another gentle, loving kiss being placed against the top of your hair.
~xXx~
#bayverse tmnt x reader#bayverse tmnt#bayverse donnie x reader#bayverse donatello x reader#tmnt x reader#aged up tmnt#female reader#angst#angst with a happy ending#@httpvomitello#imababblekat's writing
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The Dragon and The Raven Chapter 9 (Seasmoke)
Chapter Summary: Aemma discovers her mother is letting Dragonseeds start claiming dragons. She and Benjicot fly to Dragonstone. If someone is going to claim her father's dragon, she should try to see the person she thinks is worthy of Seasmoke. As they go to witness the people, Seasmoke decides to surprise them all.
Taglist: @callsignwidow @whimsicalmystic02 @mercedesdecorazon @rhaenyrathecruelwithteats
Tags: NSFW words, mentions of potential miscarriage.
Keep track of the story: masterlist
Aemma and Benji’s relationship slowly started to heal after their fight. Aemma always took the time to assure her husband of how attractive and loving he was towards her. Of course, Benjicot also took the initiative to reciprocate those actions. He missed her so much from their time separate. Every day, he would wake her with a kiss on her brow before getting ready for the day. Per the healer's orders, he would allow the princess to sleep in to ensure the princess would get enough rest to help their babe.
Aemma was finally introduced to Kermit and Oscar Tully. The Tully brothers were awed by meeting the princess; words that described her beauty were unmatched by the real picture. As they expressed loyalty to her mother, Aemma noticed how the two young men tried but kept failing to ogle her. Benji also saw this, sending a glare to his friends, causing the boys to flush, stammer, apologize, and quickly leave. No one wanted to be the cause of Benjicot’s ire.
“They are your friends, Ben,” whispered Aemma as she tried to console her husband.
“Which is worse because they know I do not like it,” stated Benjicot, growing to hate how easily it was for him to get jealous. He knew his wife was gorgeous, and men would always stare, but that never meant he had to like it.
Aemma sighed, knowing his feelings were valid, “Yes, in your defense, they probably should know better, but in their defense, they have no chance. Why would I want the attention of some other man when I have yours? Why should I care for another person’s attention when you provide all the attention I want? I carry your babe, not theirs, and you are the only one who makes my body and soul burn for you.”
Feeling devious, she walked closer to her husband, pressing her body to him and whispering to his ear, “You are the only man who can make my thighs ache and wet for your cock. You are the only man who can satisfy a dragon, making her scream and shout your name. This whole camp knows my body belongs to you. Even now, my body wishes you would take me..”
Aemma gasped as Benji's hungry kiss cut her off. As he raised her in his arms, he walked back into their tent, wishing to show the princess how much her pretty words had affected him. Aemma giggled and sighed, feeling his kisses on her neck; oh, how much she missed this.
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As Benjicot left a satisfied princess sleeping, he walked towards the training ground, where he found Cregan Stark and his Aunt dueling. Benjicot could not help but notice how much time the two were spending together, wondering if he soon would have to speak with Lord Stark about doweries, knowing that he was technically in charge of any potential marriage regarding his aunt. As the pair noticed the young lord, they stopped and walked towards him. Aly asked for Aemma, to which Benjicot said the princess was sleeping. Aly nodded, stating that she would bathe before checking on her. Aly became very overprotective of the princess since their fight.
As both men watched Aly Blackwood leave, Cregan glanced at Benjicot.
“How is Aemma truly?” pondered Cregan as he began to polish his sword, not once removing his eyes from Benjicot.
“She is getting better; her illness is finally relieved from her. Thank the gods,” stated Benji, feeling slightly nervous after seeing the piercing gaze the Wolf Lord gave to the lord of Raventree Hall.
Cregan nodded, “That’s good; she was looking a little frail, which worried me…” Cregan notices the slight frown on Benjicot’s face.
He sighed. Hearing from Aly that Benjicot tended to be easily jealous, he needed to clarify before the lad thought anything.
“I love Aemma as a sister. Jace and she endeared themselves to me when they went to the north, and they often reminded me of my own siblings. Seeing someone so fierce and happy as Aemma to be knocked down over a sudden illness just worried me. She barely had enough time to mourn Prince Lucerys, who I know was close to Aemma; I felt everything was going too fast. Nevertheless, I vouched for you when Jace was adamant not to accept you, so I was worried the “illness” was just an excuse and you two were having troubles.” explained Cregan Stark, trying to see any cracks in Benjicot’s face, but the young lord had a good poker face.
In reality, on the inside, Benji wanted to scream, his guilt returning to him with the troubles he and Aemma were going through. Benjicot pondered if he should tell Stark what happened or not. After a while, he decided to give some information, knowing the Stark lord would appreciate it.
“In truth, we just found out that Aemma is expecting, but many of the foods have so far not sat well with her, so she was feeling frail, which caused more worry once the healer stated that Aemma was at risk of losing the babe. She felt she was failing at her duty, which I had to assure her she was not. Another babe can come if the gods wish to bless us, but the gods can’t give us another Aemma Velayron.” explained Benjioct, staring up at the sky and seeing two dragons dancing in the air, Caraxes and Sliverwing.
Cregan exhaled as he stood clasping Benji’s arms and clapping him on the back, “Congratulations, but truly, are she and the babe doing better?”
Benjicot slightly smiled, “Yes, with each day, both are getting stronger, but the healer has asked us not to share anything until her fourth moon, just to be sure. So Please, only you and my aunt know outside of Aemma and me; please don’t share the news until we feel ready.” asked Benjicot, feeling more at ease.
Cregan nodded, overjoyed that this surrogate sister was having a baby. After dealing with their house losses, Houses Targaryen and Blackwood were receiving a new life.
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As Aly reached the tent, she was met by a few handmaidens running through it, preparing the princess for the rest of the day. Noticing one holding a letter, Aly went to her, asking if she wanted to give it to the princess, as the maiden nodded and left. Aemma saw Aly and grinned at her, finding how much they enjoyed each other’s company.
“May I ask the princess what tired her out in the middle of the day to warrant a nap? Hmm?” teased Alysanne, grinning more as she saw Aemma blush and turned away.
“All I will say is your nephew, and that should be enough,” Aemma said as her handmaiden giggled, finishing putting the princess together.
Alyssane rolled her eyes but was secretly glad to hear that Ben and Aemma were coming back together like before the whole Aegon debacle.
While waiting for the last Handmaiden to leave, Aly went to Aemma, looking at the girl leave and placing a hand on the princess’s ever-growing stomach. “How are you both dwelling today?” she whispered.
Aemma smiled, placing her hand on Aly, “We are doing well. I don’t get as sick anymore, but I crave lemon cakes. But I don’t want to make it too obvious by asking for them. Those were the tall-tale signs in my mother’s pregnancies.” stated Aemma, flushing in embarrassment as Alyssane laughed.
“Just let me know; Ben and I will sneak all the lemon cakes our princess commands us to take.”
Aemma laughed, hitting Aly on her shoulder playfully. She was glad to make a friend. Moving to Raventree Hall after the war would be easier.
Before Aly forgot, she handed Aemma the letter she held in her other hand. Aemma opened the letter, reading that her father wished for her and Benji to speak with him. Frowning, she asked Aly if she could do the favor and asked Benji to meet her at the hall in Harrenhal. Aly worried and asked if everything was fine, but Aemma shrugged, not knowing what her father wanted.
As Aemma and Benjicot entered, they saw her father sitting at the table, drinking wine and looking at papers before him. Looking up, he saw his daughter and good-son walking hand in hand, better than a few weeks ago when they would barely touch each other.
“Good afternoon, Kepa . Has something happened? Is mother well?” Aemma questioned her father.
“Good afternoon, My Sea Dragon, has your ailment finally felt you …hmm?” raised a brow the Rouge Prince, seeing both freeze for a second before relaxing.
“Yes, it was just the food that wasn’t sitting with me quite right, and with the worries of grandmother, I fear it was all too much too quickly,” smoothly lied Aemma. Her father had no right to judge the events that transpired in her marriage, not when he had his own problems with her mother.
“You did not answer my second question. Is everything alright in Dragonstone?” pondered Aemma.
“I received two letters from Dragonstone. Your mother has found a few Dragonseeds willing to claim any unmounted dragons on Dragomount… She only wanted to notify us to keep it looped, but… Your brother Jacaerys sent one as well. He is urging you to come to Dragonstone.” Explained Daemon, seeing Aemma’s face scrunched with confusion.
“Why does Jace want me back home… I’m sure he could handle the situation regarding the dragon seeds. What could worry him about them and the drag-” Then Aemma paled as she quietly gasped.
Hearing his wife, Benji quickly turned and steadied her, growing worried, looking back at Daemon.
Daemon turned to Benji and nodded at the boy, a silent thank you for being there for her.
“That is why I am asking about your ailment… do you think you are strong enough to ride with your husband to Dragonstone? Jace is asking for you to come, per the chance one of them tries to claim Seasmoke, Leanor’s dragon, that you be there…” explained Daemon, seeing tears pool into Aemma’s eyes. Leanor's disappearance left a hole in Aemma, and knowing someone might take her father’s mount made it seem fair for Aemma to say goodbye to the dragon should it happen.
Aemma nodded as she left to prepare Sliverwing for the journey. As Benjicot was following when Daemon called out to him.
“You are going to see another side to my daughter in Dragonstone; Aemma was always known as the kind princess like her grandmother, Queen Aemma, but as I said, dragons are overprotective of things they love. She will be very hostile to any of the people who will try to claim Seasmoke… try to stop her from setting one of them on fire,” stated Daemon as he quietly laughed at his joke.
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As Aemma and Benjicot arrived, Rhaenyra was shocked to see her daughter’s new appearance. She looked drastically different from when she last saw her; she was practically glowing. She narrowed her eyes… could she… turning to Rhaenys, who glanced and nodded.
“My pearl, seeing you and your husband away from Harrenhal is a surprise. Is there anything I need to know?” asked Rhaenyra, smiling at her daughter but then frowning at her daughter's hardened look.
“If you are going to give out dragons so easily, then I think your second eldest should be here to see what kind of people are willing to risk themselves getting killed for a dragon,” stated Aemma as she stared down the people near her mother, all who quickly turned away from the princess’s gaze.
Aemma's eyes narrowed, and she saw two young men with dark skin, white hair, and brown eyes. She then turned to her grandparents, who would not see her eyes. Benjicot looked at his wife with a smile; Daemon’s statement seemed correct. Rhaenyra sighed as she quickly glared at Jacaerys, looking too smug to see his sister here. Of course, her two eldest children would always team up against their parents when they didn’t get their way.
“Aemma, my sweet, we need allies, and we have many dragons who are unclaimed; you did not need to come all the way here-”
“I do when you are planning to give away my father’s dragon! ” quickly replied Aemma, her eyes ignited with fury. Bennji tried to calm her, pressing her back to him and whispering sweet words. Aemma closed her eyes and sighed, letting her husband comfort her. Rhaenyra sent a grateful smile to her good-son, relieved to see them so close again.
“ I think that Jace and I deserve to see who might claim him… please Mother, grant me this..” pleaded Aemma.
Rhaenyra nodded, “Alright, we were planning to go in an hour, but if you feel tired..”
“No, just let my husband and I place our things in my room, and we will meet you in Dragonmount. Jace, help me,” commanded Aemma as she left the room, Benjicot and Jace following her.
As everyone watched the dragon princess leave, they stared in awe; there they saw was the actual presence of a dragon.
As the large party arrived in Dragonmount, many dragons seemed to know what would transpire, each leaving their caves, flying in the air, and landing. Almost like they were exhibiting their finest qualities, waiting for someone to try and claim them. A few tried and were chased away, or some tragically passed to claim a dragon. As everything was happening, Aemma stared at Seasmoke, her father’s dragon, who was restless and crying. Aemma’s heart ached. She, too, missed Leanor as much as Seasmoke did, wishing there was a world where Aemma could have had both Leanor and Daemon co-existing and being her fathers. She was selfish, yes, she knew, but she was only human. Benjicot turned his gaze to where his wife was staring, taking a break from the intense setting of people dying and getting maimed in trying to claim a dragon. He was not afraid or disgusted but instead getting bored.
“Was that your father’s dragon?” asked Benji, noting his wife nodding.
“Yes, He and I would take Seasmoke and Sliverwing out together. People called us the fog of Dragonstone because of how much we flew together,” explained Aemma as she reminisced about her father.
Aemma smiled, seeing Seasmoke land nearby, chirping and recognizing the princess. Her excellent mood, although quickly soured when she saw Addam of Hull come… she could care less if he was her grandsire’s bastard; she only cared that he seemed to think of himself worthy of her father’s dragon. Turning sharply at her grandmother, Rhaenys only grimaced and nodded to Aemma, letting her know she was allowing it to happen, making Aemma's nose flared in anger. Benji noticed and pressed her tighter body to him.
“Calm, sweet girl, don’t stress yourself; it's not good for you and the babe,” whispered Benji as he stared at Addam, trying to pet Seasmoke.
Seasmoke stared at the young lad, sniffing his scent before the dragon roared angrily, nearly biting the man’s hand off. Addam fell to the ground as everyone gasped in shock. Seasmoke became angrier with the presence near him. Aemma, gasping, not thinking clearly, ran off, trying to calm the dragon. She knew running to a dragon that was not hers was foolish. Rhaenyra gasped, shouting for Aemma to step back. Hearing the shouts from the queen, Benji ran to his wife, capturing her arm as he roughly pulled her back to him; he was not risking losing her. Seasmoke ran towards them and screamed at their faces, causing the two to flinch and close their eyes. Sliverwing, hearing the commotion, landed behind her rider, screeching back at the younger dragon to back off. Everyone was tense, not wanting for the two dragons to fight. They became more nervous when they heard Vermithor growling, not liking his mate so near a male dragon. After a long beat, Seasmoke lowered his head in submission, recognizing Sliverwing and her rider before gazing at Aemma. Aemma stares back at him before shakily raising her hand to him.
“ Lyikri , Seasmoke, do you remember me?” whispered Aemma as she soothed the male dragon.
Seasmoke moved his head to the side, staring at the princess, almost looking like he did remember her. Moving slowly closer, he began to sniff her, and then Benjicot, a scent near them, was calling to him. Then he moved lower towards her stomach; he sniffed her stomach. This made Aemma gasp as she and Benji touched her stomach. Seasmoke then started chirping, nuzzling her stomach, laying in front of her, and continuing to chirp and nuzzle. Everyone who was not Aemma looked at the grey dragon in confusion before Rhaenyra and Rhaenys gasped, both remembering how Syrax and Meleys reacted to their own pregnancies in the past. Rhaenys allowed her tears to flow; it seemed Leanor wanted his future grandchild to have his dragon.
Rhaenyra smiled, turning to the confused audience, “Seasmoke is no longer available to be claimed.”
Alynn, confused, turned to the dragon queen and asked, “But I thought one rider was not allowed to have more than one dragon?”
Addam nodded in agreement, feeling that he was being robbed of a chance to prove himself to Colrys Velayron.
Rhaenyra smiled, “That’s true. Never has a rider claimed two dragons from what we know, and Aemma is not different, for it wasn’t Princess Aemma who claimed Seassmoke… but the babe in her stomach.’ she explained, tears falling as she stared at her daughter.
Everyone turned to the princess and her lord husband, trying to see a bump. Corlys could see a slight bump as he grew overjoyed; he was to be a great-grandsire!
Aemma and Benjicot froze; they weren’t planning on telling anyone yet… but it seemed the gods were not letting them have control over that. Seasmoke was letting them know he had claimed their child. Benji stared at the dragon and then caressed his wife’s slight swelling. His child seemed to be a future dragon rider, a first for House Blackwood.
#benjicot blackwood#benjicot blackwood/oc#fanfic#hotd#hotd fanfic#benjicot x reader#seasmoke#Princess Aemma Velayron (oc)#Thedragonandtheraven#bloody ben#ao3 fanfic
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When will my life begin-pt. 1
Chloe Charming x Red x f!reader
Synopsis- you are Rapunzel’s daughter but don’t know it because Mother Gothel survived and took you too. You possess similar powers to your real mother but they don’t work as well. Red and Chloe are visiting wonderland for the first time since the time travel and Red is nervous. She decides to take Chloe her new girlfriend to a mysterious tower from her childhood and they meet you.
Warnings: not proofread, angst, mentions of abusive parents, anxiety, fluff, slower burn, you just meet so no relationships until at least part two.
Almost 3.5k words
I really hope you enjoy!
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You awoke in your cramped tower, another lonely day. Mother says you can’t leave, you mustn’t. Evil people will hurt you just like your real parents. “You are weak and helpless and they’ll eat you,” is repeated daily.
You have a special gift; you can bring life and healing when singing. Mother loves your tricks but they are somewhat rare and you have a hard time making it actually work. She gets so mad at you, she says harsh punishment is the way to make it work. So far you still screw up.
She barely leaves you alone, the only time you can relax is when she takes her daily naps. Her “Beauty sleep”. Or when she goes on supply runs. You only ever let your thoughts drift then. To that one time you saw a flash of red outside. You were only 13 then and it’s been years but you always did wonder who it was.
***
Red was beyond nervous, Chloe a little too. She had to be strong for her new girlfriend, however. Red was dealing with healing from the trauma still and this visit was making her sick. She knows her mother is better but the whole time travel being dangerous thing has her waiting for the other ball to drop.
“It’ll be alright, promise Heart,” Chloe said it, trying to soothe her. She holds her hand whilst keeping the other on the steering wheel.
When they get there it’s a lot less gloomy than it was originally and the kingdom sits in the midst of a massive ring of roses. Red holds a smeck of comfort that the change brought her home some real peace, but the gnawing feeling never ceases.
“Yeah… I know” Red sighs. “I feel as if-“
“This is just a facade?” Chloe interrupts. “I realize how scary this is; I, myself, worry something went wrong but for now we have to play the part. It’s okay to be scared. You grew up with the most terrifying women I’ve ever seen.
They got to the entrance.
“Well… let’s face this then.” Red decides. She gets out and waits before entering.
Queen Bridget stands ready to greet her daughter, coming in for a bear hug. At least this time both her and Chloe are squished. She still flinched a little but was quickly soothed by a comforting tap on her wrist from Chloe.
“It’s good to see you… Mom,” for the first time.
“It’s so good to see you too my muffin cake!” Reds mom squeals. She starts to see more similarities to Pink haired Bridget by the second and she’s still weary, but relieved.
They pull away and Queen Bridget turns to Chloe.
“Oh where are my manners?! Chloe it is so wonderful to see you here again!” Bridget smiles. Not sickenly to Red’s mild shock.
Chloe glances at her girlfriend and they both smile too and shrug.
“Glad to be back too” Chloe replies with a chuckle. Time travel is weird.
“Now as much as I want to talk your ears off you girls must want to settle in first! I’ll have the Tweedle brothers carry your stuff to your room so you can unpack. Now… I wanna hear about any cute dates later but I understand. I’ll wait dears,” she actually GIGGLES and walks away. Not without giving a little squeeze to Reds shoulder.
They both stand there a little awkwardly and Red exhales, feeling like she can fully breathe again. She feels like she needs to get out when an idea pops into her head.
“Hey wanna go see something cool?” Red says excitedly. Chloe nods and red grabs her hand to drag her back out into the wonder woods they passed through on the way there.
“Where are we going?” Chloe whispers when they hit a particularly thick part of the forest.
“I would go into these woods a couple of times when I was younger… around the third time I came across a massively tall tower. I heard pretty singing. I sadly had to leave but when I came back for the seventh time I heard it again. I never really figured out what or who it was but maybe we’ll see if we go again.
And so they trekked further into the heavily wooded area for a few minutes until finally there was a small clearing with a large tower.
Just by luck did they happen to hear a soft melody coming from it. There was clearly someone home and Red couldn’t not pass up the chance to figure it out once and for all. She used to think about this for years after her last encounter.
“Oh no…” Chloe whispers and whips her head, “I know that look. We are not about to do what I think you’re thinking.” Chow huffs
With a role of her eyes, Red replies hushed, “Fine, just me then. I’m gonna figure it out.” She jumps up on the viney stone and finds it stable. She starts climbing and soon after Chloe groans and follows her.
“Does it have to be this high?” Chloe whimpers, daring not to look down. Red is already far enough up that she doesn’t hear her.
***
You finish sweeping when you hear climbing you don’t think much of it, it’s just your mother. You still tense but remain sweeping. You should’ve finished awhile ago, but you enjoyed the free will of being able to daydream while she was on a trip a little too much. You hear footsteps hit the floor and try and finish up faster.
“I’m sorry mother I’ll be better next time, let me finish first!” You hurry out. When there’s a second pair of feet hitting the ground you focus on the window. Two girls stand there.
You drop the broom and scramble back, falling on your back and hitting the wall.
“I- I- who are you?” You question breathlessly.
Red and Chloe both share another look.
“We aren’t here to hurt you!” Chloe hurried out. Red nods and slowly steps forward.
“No, we just heard the singing and wanted to check it out. Are you up here alone? How do you even get down every day?” She questions and you still cower but decide to answer them.
“I’m not supposed to speak to others. Mother will be furious, I- who are you?” You repeat.
“This is Red and I’m Chloe.” The blue haired one speaks. “I am from Auredon, Cinderellasburg specifically and Red is from here in Wonderland. Do you know why you are in this tower?” It’s almost too much but you answer honestly for fear of angering them.
“My parents were killed when I was a baby and my Mother took me here for my protection. This place is called wonderland?” You question. If you are gonna be killed maybe you can learn some stuff. Although, these ladies seem harmless enough and quite pretty. Nothing like the grotesque monsters your mother warned you of.
“Yes, you don’t know?” Red says, you shake your head. Your curiosity is quickly getting the better of you now.
“Please don’t lie what’s it really like out there?” You softly question.
“Well… there a kingdom just past these woods. my castle, oh by the way I’m the princess” Red casually throws in there making your jaw drop “but it’s very…. Beautiful.” She goes for. “There are roses everywhere now.” She adds.
“Oh… your majesty” you bow. You read a book once with a king in it and you knew you were supposed to bow.
“It’s only majesty for kings and queens, it’s- you know what that doesn’t matter you don’t have to be so formal, I am also a princess as well. Again though you don’t have to be so formal.” Chloe urges. You are completely awestruck by the fact that two very lovely princesses happen to be your first real life interaction besides your mother.
“Well… thank you Chloe and Red. I am still honored to be in your presences. Tell me, are these kingdoms violent at all?” You interrogate farther.
“Not too much honestly, like the occasional violent coup but day to day life can be lovely,” Chloe replies. Red looks to be deep in thought.
“So your mother locked you in here? That’s… that’s crazy” she realizes. Then her face lits up.
“Chloe, a quick word in the corner.” The two huddle leaving you to finally pick yourself up from the floor and dust off.
“Are you thinking what im thinking?” Red asks. Chloe bites her lip.
“Unfortunately. This poor girl needs our help. I can’t help but feel she looks familiar somehow.” Chloe frets. She thinks you are beautiful truly, but she can’t figure out for the life of her who you remind her of.
“Okay well I think we need to convince her to leave-
“I’ll do it.” You say, causing them to jump up from the huddle. “You two are loud by the way and this room is pretty small,” you giggle. It feels good, you don’t know the last time you’ve laughed. They both blush.
“That easy?” Red questions and Chloe slaps her lightly.
“What she means to say is, we understand how terrifying this could be and that we are glad you are allowing us to help you.
“I’ve wanted to leave everyday, my mother isn’t even my real mother and yeah, I’m terrified. You two are living proof it’s okay out there.
“So how does your mother get down?” Red asks.
“The vines”, you shudder at realization you will have to climb down. Chloe seems to have an equal reaction.
“Well let’s go get you somewhere less cagey.” Red smirks.
After a very fear filled climb down your bare feet touched the hard ground. The gravel admittedly hurts your sheltered feet and you wince.
“What’s wrong?” Chloe notices.
“Oh, I guess I’m not used to standing on such rocky ground.” You admit shyly and wince again when you take another step.
Red hums.
“Wait a sec.” She starts taking off her boots and hands them to you.
“thank you! I’m sorry if I’m a little slow with all this.” You relent, still very great full.
“Don’t be.” Red smirks.
Chloe turns to her, “is you giving people shoes a habit now?” She snorts.
Red rolls her eyes. You finish putting the boots on and get a little nervous.
“We better go, mother could be back any second.” You say.
“Alright then, let’s go” Red leads.
The walk is so terrifying every sound muffled from your time up high is so much louder. Each cherp, squeak, and buzz makes you jumpier.
It’s all worth it though when you see the red castle.
It’s the grandest thing you’ve ever seen, lit up (it’s now darker outside) and the roses are so stunning and fragrant you want to cry. And you do.
“Hey,” Red says. They both come closer.
“I’m fine it’s just so pretty.” You sob.
“If you think this is pretty wait till you see my room. It’s so cool” Red says excitedly and leads for you and Chloe to follow again.
Reds castle looks so much brighter than she remembers. It’s so well lit she can actually see the high ceilings now.
“Right this way, I need to check in with my Mom… she’ll know what to do.” Red decides. It feels so weird asking her mom for help.
The lounge room is very ornate and there is satin cushioning and mahogany wood everywhere. Reds mom is setting out some tea and snacks, enough that they are clearly for the girls too.
Red clears her throat, “mom I have someone I need you to meet.” She says. Bridget looks up and immediately drops the teapot.
“Oh my,” she tsks, “very sorry dear I just thought you were someone I knew. You look so much like her. Um who are you? It was now that both Red and Chloe shamefully realized they didn’t ask for your name. They were so focused on getting you out they didn’t even find out who you were.
“Y/n your majesty.” You curtsy. The queen inhales sharply.
“You don’t have to be so formal but uh… You wouldn’t happen to have hair that glows when you sing would you?” she questions. You are immediately scrambling to figure out how she possibly knew that.
“That’d be a coincidence, we found her in a tower. She’s like repunzel!” Chloe adds and then immediately gasps. Chloe feels so stupid for not putting two and two together. Meanwhile both you and Red are clueless of what’s happening.
You squeamishly give a “yes”.
“Oh you look just like her.” Chloe realizes.
You want to curl up in a ball. This is already so overwhelming.
“Like whom?” Red nods her head in confusion.
“Well, there was a princess named Rapunzel locked in a tower by an old hag, she would use the girls powers to rejuvenate herself. She originally pretended to be her mother. Her now husband Eugene found her and allowed her to see floating lanterns that appeared on her birthday. Turns out the whole kingdom was setting them off for her. They thought mother Gothel turned to dust but she reappeared and in turn stole her baby. They had no idea where she went and searched the lands. She wasn’t ever found…. Until maybe now?” The queen finished the tale, hope growing on her face by the second. Both you and Red were utterly gobsmacked.
They all turned to you only for you to get extremely lightheaded from the attention and the fact that other than the lanterns, the story completely paralleled yours. You didn’t even know when your birthday was. Your thoughts wage a war and you feel as if your legs are giving out.
Before you hit the floor Chloe catches you.
“Oh rabbits,” The queen exclaims. “You girls be a dear and make sure are guest is alright. I believe I really do have to make a phone call now.” She turns to you, who is still conscious but out of it. “Sweets, I promise you are safe now. This castle is heavily guarded. No one gets in that wasn’t supposed to and while you are technically free to leave at any moment I believe you understand you have to stay for a little bit longer.” She hums and turns shaking her head in disbelief as she heads to the phone in her room.
“I-I” you stutter. The two others give a concerned look.
“Hey it’s gonna be fine, even if you aren’t the lost princess we can keep you save. We promise,” Chloe soothes, Red is now hunched down to your levels.
“Promise” she agrees with a curt nod. You take a deep breath, it comes in more broken but it helps ever so slightly.
“Thank you, thank you both!” You exclaim, wrapping them in some sort of embrace, you don’t know what it’s called though.
“Ha no problem maybe-princess,” Red jokes. She earns a glare from Chloe.
“So if I my parents are alive, am I gonna meet them?” You question in disbelief. This feels like a scary dream.
Red bites her lip before replying, “Well I’m assuming that’s what the call was for, she is most likely calling them now.” You are more confused.
“How will they hear her voice from all the way from the castle?”
“There are these machines that let you call from any land so long as the other has one too” Chloe responds, sharing yet ANOTHER look with Red.
“Sheesh, you need to get out more” Red tries to lighten the situation and to be fair it makes you laugh a little.
“RED” Chloe scolds.
“She laughed!”
“It’s okay, I’d rather joke about it than have it still happen” you add but now they both look sad for you again.
“Do you think they still want me? Like what if they have other children and don’t need me as a child anymore. And I’m not really a child at all, I don’t know how old I am yet but I seem far too big to be one.” You start picking at your nails in worry.
Red sighs, “I know what it’s like to have to worry whether someone likes you or not. Trust everything will work out.” She says.
“From what I heard they never stopped looking for you. They did have another child but they actually did kinda do the lantern thing every year. It’s just that they didn’t understand you were sent to wonderland. The whole time they’ve been looking elsewhere but I know for a fact they never fully stopped and that shows they will want you.” Ella offers. You just nod softly, the fear was still there, but if it’s true then it makes you feel a little better. They were good at that. You think you’d want to be their friends. Best friends even someday if you still manage to hang out.
Before the awkward tension breaks naturally the Red queen burst through the door with two others. They also look like royalty to you but that’s not what makes your chest pound. They woman looks so painstakingly like you it makes Chloe curse herself for not getting it immediately. You all stand up, Red and Chloe help you first. And you all how your head.
The woman nearly runs to you and pulls you into another embrace of sorts. This time it’s a little tighter.
“Oh my, you’re really her aren’t you, you’re my baby girl!” She gasps. You blush and stand there terribly awkward. Red can feel your uneasiness from next to you so she coughs in attempt to break Queen Rapunzel from her stupor. It works.
“I- you’re my real mom?” You question.
She pulls apart just enough to put one hand on your cheek and another on your shoulder.
“I know for sure, yes. You are everything I dreamed you to be, my beautiful baby girl. Oh you must have so many questions.” She says. She smiles like the sun and has tears pooling in her eyes. She’s dress so elegantly in purple, but she’s shaking quite a bit.
“I’m here, you’re here” you say. Rapunzel turns to the man.
“Eugene Flynn Fitzgerald Ryder, come over here this instance,” she beckons and slowly a man steps forward. You notice you have his eyes and hair color. You’ve never had a dad before, it’s almost too much. He certainly doesn’t seem like he’s an evil man.
“That’s really her my little buttercup?” He says and when he gets a good look at your face he breaks into the loudest sobs you have ever heard in your life. You honestly don’t know what to do but stand there. You are also overcome with emotion but this is quickly becoming too much for you. He steps forward again.
“Bathroom!” You exclaim and haste fully walk past them and into the halls where you start running.
“Y/n-“
“Flynn give her some time,” Rapunzel sighs.
“We‘ll make sure she’s safe,” Chloe interrupted, grabbing Red to follow you.
After a couple turns they hear sobbing down an otherwise empty hallway. You sit there with your head tucked into your knees gasping for breath. They slowly walk up to you.
“It’s a lot, I know” Red sighs. “Meeting your mo- family for the first time. You start thinking of what can go wrong when you don’t know them and they don’t really know the real you. It’s hard.” She pauses, “but take it slow. I promise that they are also overwhelmed too. But after not getting any affection your whole life it seems like even the tiniest bit is too much.”
“If you want, we will stay with you as much as allowed. I know we just met but it seems like maybe you trust us the most and that’s precious, the trust,” Chloe states. Her eyes are truthful and earnest. Red shares that earnesty.
“I- supposed if it’s alright. I would never want to impose and you’ve done so much for me. This is all just- well you said it” you gesture to Red.
“We’ll be here.” They both say in unison and it makes all three of you giggle. Maybe your new life won’t be so bad. At least not if they’re in it. Your worry is replaced with a similar fluttery feeling but you don’t know exactly what it is.
This is your happy beginning. Your life has finally begun.
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It was the first real day out on the lake for the summer with all the boys and a few of the girlfriends including y/n. The sun was high and so was the energy so much so that she had forgotten to re-apply sunscreen leaving her as red as a tomato after her post-lake shower.
Getting sunburnt was never really a problem for her because of her skin type her mother was Caucasian and her father was Micronesian so she was fairly tan most of the year and would turn 3 shades darker in the summer; so sunscreen was never her main priority when having fun on the boat even though she would usually tell her boyfriend to re-apply every chance she got. Today it had just slipped her mind.
And she was left to deal with the consequences looking in the mirror and frowning at what she saw; making quick work to get the aloe vera and applying head to toe or at least what she could reach.
“ LUKE” she yelled out to her boyfriend sitting on the bed “Can you help me real quick?” Luke walked in and before he could agree “What the fuck baby that is bad.” he said looking at her back “I know I need help” she wines “Can you put some of this on my back please” handing him the bottle of aloe.
“This is why you need to put on sunscreen my love this is going to take like a week to heal,” he said in a voice of pity and y/n just frowned at him in the mirror. After thoroughly applying letting it dry and then applying it again.
“There is no way I am going to be able to wear a bra” she said as she pulled a shirt over her head trying to be as careful as possible. “ maybe it's not so bad you got burnt after all,” Luke said with a smirk causing y/n to hit him with her towel “ that is not nice Luke,” she said with a pout “I'm sorry baby I was joking,” he said pulling her to his chest “ we need to get some food in you and some water you will feel better then hmm?” she shook her head yes but didn't pull away just yet.
Down in the kitchen, Luke started preparing a plate for her full of the chicken Jack had just grilled on the new grill he got for his birthday now that he had learned how to cook and all the other sides. Before setting it down in front of y/n “thank you lukey you are very sweet” Leaning up for a kiss he gladly reciprocated “You are very welcome baby”
It wasn't until the next morning that the whole no-bra thing started messing with his head. Y/n was feeling much better and was in the bathroom brushing her teeth when Luke walked in greeting her with a lopsided smile “Good morning baby” “Good morning handsome” she said before rinsing her mouth.
Luke was about to grab his toothbrush before something In the mirror caught his attention; his girlfriend's perfect boobs staring right at him as she started her skincare. Good God that was a direction he thought before continuing his morning routine.
Not even 30 minutes later did it happen again this time in the middle of the conversation he was having with her about breakfast “Lu are you listening” she asked “I-um yeah I'm listening” That was a lie.
And again about an hour later when they had made their way out to the hammock they sat in every day at least once. When she had laid down on his chest and he could feel her boob press to his chest in a way they couldn't when she had a bra on; causing a groan to slip out of his throat.
“Sorry Lu I didn't mean to hurt you” y/n said trying to sit up but before she could Luke pulled her down to where she was “It's not that it's these,” he said slipping a hand up into her shirt, and giving her a hard squeeze “ oh” she moans slightly “ my boobs are the problem?” “ they might be if we don't do something about it right now,” he said voice low even though they were the only ones outside “Well we aren't doing anything about it out here that is for sure.”
And I will leave the rest for y'all to imagine <3
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Oh my gosh I love the Graves rescuing reader fic, it was so good. I imagine if she does join them eventually the whole shadow company just loves her, they're always around in some way. If it progresses to something more like poly!shadows I feel like if word got back to 141 they'd be so pissed but also would feel guilty as shit too. Sorry if this is incoherent, Im half asleep but I already love your blog and your writing, went through a bunch of your posts and it's a FEAST thank you
(hi darling i’m so sorry this is so late ): thank you for your patience and your wonderful idea !!!! i adore poly!shadow company !!! you’re the sweetest ever and i’m so so flattered that you like my writhing so much. thank you so much <33)
joining the shadows wasn’t a question of if, but when. and when, according to graves, was when you were fully healed. you were impatient to get back out there. prove yourself to — you want to say yourself, but you know it’s not true. you want to prove to them that you were worthy of saving.
it takes longer than you want to be field-ready. your impatience sometimes gets the better of you, storming into graves’ office during meetings you definitely weren’t invited to, demanding to be allowed to do something, anything. fuck physical therapy, you were fine. fuck the therapists, you didn’t need to talk to them any longer and if another one asked “and how does that make you feel?” you’re going to lose your god damn mind. he would give you a look, cup you by the nape of your neck and bring himself close, the heat of him comforting in a way you didn’t realize you were missing until he was almost pressed up against you.
“the moment you’re ready, i’ll send you out. swear it.”
the more you were around the shadows, the more you got used to them. you didn’t want to get used to them. you didn’t need yet another reason for feeling weak, nothing like a liability and something to throw away when they were done with you.
but they never did.
a shadow — or two — always joined you to your physical therapy appointments. it made them better. less like you were trying to fix a broken toy and more like you were trying to become part of something bigger than yourself. there was a shadow that has wanted to become a therapist but couldn’t see himself sticking to an office. so he offered to help you, off the books, filled with coffee and tea and ways to keep you talking but not cornered, caged, a specimen on display to be torn to shreds.
you were welcomed to the team with open arms. fit right into them, into a place you didn’t even know you were missing from. they kept you safe, and you kept them in kind.
it wasn’t a surprise when you kissed graves after a successful mission and a little too much wine. it wasn’t unwelcome when he took you home, stripped you of your clothes and made you feel like a dream. it was a surprise when two other shadows joined you, but you weren’t about to say no and they weren’t about to take it easy on you.
you were prized among them, their little lamb with bloodied teeth and claws to kill. you were one of them.
(how the 141 found out, you’ll never know. you were partnered with them, unfortunately, for something or another. just another mission to get your boys home safe. you didn’t care much to interact with them or deign their apology — if it could be called that — with any real acknowledgment. just a leveled look so they knew you heard and then your attention was stolen by a shadow that tended to be in your bed more than the others. no one ever complained, you all shared. you could feel their looks on the plane. the lingering heat from the gaze as you talked with graves, strapped a shadow in and checked to make sure another had extra magazines. you’ll never know what they’re thinking. you don’t think you particularly care.)
#ink by bambi#phillip graves x reader#phillip graves x you#phillip graves imagine#shadow company x reader#shadow company x you#shadow company imagine#poly!shadow company#modern warfare imagine#cod x you#cod x reader#asks#anons
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Okay, review time!! If you are one of the oddballs who thinks you cant be critical of something you love I suggest you stop reading now before I ruffle your feathers. Iron flame, second in the empyrean series. I am gonna start with what I was not a fan of and then go into the shit I adored.
1) what in the actual fuck was the pacing of this book?? I can tell you what, it was non existent. There was none. Where I thought there was a lot of filler in the last book there was none in this one. We got snap shots of conversations and then *boom* more plot flew at you. The timeline of this book greatly suffered for it i think bc we end only a couple weeks, if that, after threshing, which happens sometimes in October. This book was actually so wild with times.
2) while it was a spectacular cliff hanger, xaden becoming venin pisses me off. Especially if Rebecca yarros isnt going to have him tell violet. Like if that small tid bit of a conversation we got wasnt him telling vi that he was venin then the entire romantic conflict of this book was rendered pointless and their going to be having the same fucking fight for the rest of the series and at rhat point I give up.
3) I understand that the revolution is trying to take down basgaith and make the world better or whatever the fuck but can someone actually formulate a real plan for me?? Because I feel like their mission is just, giving violet and xaden something to be pissed at each other about.
4) the entirety of cats character. I get that she was set up as a spin on the typical jealous ex. Like having her be bitter about xaden picking violet over her but OH WAIT it wasnt actually about the man it was about the crown, oohh not like other girls. Im a writer too I see the point. I dont care. I think it was trashy. If you wanted her to be a bitter spiteful ex then have her be a bitter spiteful ex, the whole crown thing was shallow.
OKAY haters your time is up now onto the shit that made my heart hurt with joy and sadness
1) xadens arc in this book. I really liked that he went from "transparency is never gonna happen" to losing his fucking mind over violet and giving her everything. I love feral men and he qualifies. I think his arc was really well done and i liked it.
2) I appericiate that violet stuck to her guns for this book. She wouldnt let xaden off without a fight and I loved that. She made him bow and scrape and I was eating it up. It was spectacular.
3) the throne room scene. Violet on the throne. "Im making a temporary point not a lasting vow of maschocism" xaden being feral.
4) that gets its own point actually, just xaden being completely feral this entire book healed a part of my soul.
5) andarna's little speech at the end where she was like "I waited for you violet" made me ugly cry. That was just so hopelessly good I loved it. Andarna in general heals my heart but that part was just *chefs kiss*
6) tarin being completely and utterly ready to eat people this entire book. Just, at every turn "I want lunch their pissing me off " was spectacular
7) every scene their squad was in. Rihannon, violet, sawyer and ridoc are my roman empire. Their bond is so amazing. The fact that they launched a rescue mission for violet. Rihannon being ready to kill xaden at every turn. Ridoc being so platonically and adorably in love with violet. Just- augh happy cries happy cries. I love it all. Their so special tbh.
8) I love xaden actually, just, the whole book every scene hes in lives in my brain.
9) I liked that we saw a small bit of violet being feral this book too. I hope that we get more of that in future books. I want more of violet losing her fucking mind. Hot, badass women covered in blood
10) Liam. Fucking Liam. When violet was kidnapped and Liam was there. Now, do I logically understand that he was a hallucination, yes, do i care?? No. He was a gift from Maleck I will be hearing no critiques on that. It was so fucking sweet and amazing. I love violet and Liam and Liam being dead so horribly breaks my heart. I loved Liam. Liams death lives rent free in my skull.
#i might add more to this later#please#i am begging yall#dont get weird#i am allowed to love this book and have critical opinions abt it#if i start getting threats about my fandom opinions again i might lose my mind#haters get fucked#anyways#i need the third book right now and the fact that i wont get it until next year kills me a little#i loved iron flame#i loved fourth wing#xaden riorson#violet sorrengail#violet and xaden#fourth wing#iron flame#book review#iron flame review#🪓
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