#but when he's having a Weird Brain Day™ his answer is

[gl1tchy-4rt]

Maurice you Dumbass 😡(derogatory)

Me: Maybe I should continue with Spaghetti Family, or maybe answer the asks or maybe post about the other AUs or maybe actually do homework

Brain: Best is can do is

✨✨I f##king hate this man hope he dies in The Third impact ✨✨

Why has this Mets™ fan taken over my brain? And yes if you are wondering he is canon to Spag. Family.

Also I couldn't help myself:

Just like with Matteo I went Brainrot mode and made this kiddo

Here he is; the runt (Loving): Maurice Jr.

While, yes he is bratty, he has no fault of having Maurice as his Dad.

He's been left watching TV without supervision multiple times (Thanks to his Dad) due to his he had nightmares for 2 weeks and now knows the lore of Neon Genesis Evangelion.

Fairly a bully but the moment you say no he stops from shock.

Not in good terms with Matteo and Maria.

He thinks Uncle Pino is weird, cause "one moment he is mean to me for having fun! (AKA: Misbehaving) but the next he is worried cause I tripped and scratched a knee?" ("It's no biggie, i can walk it off")

Lives with his Mom one week and then other one with his Dad.

He loves his Dad! And he wants to be like him when he grows up cause his Dad is soooooo cool!...

That's until he realizes that; "Oh Lord.... I'm becoming my Dad" (AKA: an absolute as###le that pretty much has no friends)

Runs away from Maurice's house and Crashed into Pino's couch for some days (Peppino had no problem with this) Now he fully lives with his Mom.

Fairly chill with Peppino's family (including Bruno's and Gustavo's) and his Mom but an absolute as###le to his Dad (As he should)

He repaired his relationship with Matteo and Maria and now they are friends :) (Tho he still traumatized his half-cousins with Neon Genesis Evangelion)

So yeah that's all for the Green man I had lots of fun with this, tho I may be a bit busy with school so I may not post as often, but that doesn't mean I'm abandoning this AU ;)

So that's all for Today's post and see y'all next time

Buh-bye!!

[inairbinad]

Steve's Got a Date with a Vampire!

part one of seven | 4.9k | AO3 Now Complete!

Where Eddie wakes up a little bit different, Steve is obsessed, and Dustin gets his Meddling Kids Platinum Badge™. I know I posted a couple teasers from the last chapter of this over the weekend, but friendly reminder that this is primarily an idiots to lovers fic, and they take their sweet ass time getting there. Warnings: None for this part, except the obvious mentions of blood.

Steve didn’t ever really leave Eddie’s bedside, while he was sleeping. The only breaks he took were to shower or go visit Max down the hall. Most nights he stayed past visiting hours, the nursing staff having long given up on trying to stop him falling asleep in an uncomfortable hospital chair—oftentimes with Lucas's head resting on his shoulder.

One of those nights, with Steve already leveled with exhaustion and barely holding his own head up, Robin came in to sit with him.

“Steve,” she all but whispered.

“I’m okay, Rob,” he said automatically. “Just gonna rest my eyes for a bit, then I’ll drive you home.”

“Don’t worry about that,” Robin said, sounding fondly annoyed. “Nancy’s gonna drive me. But—don’t you think you should go home and get some rest?” she tried.

They’d had this conversation every day for the last three, now. Steve hadn’t yet relented.

“I’m just gonna worry if I go home,” he said honestly. “I won’t sleep. At least here I know they’re both still breathing.”

Eddie had made strides in that regard, at least; they’d extubated him earlier that day. There still weren’t any signs of him waking up, though, and there was no change at all with Max.

Robin sighed, apparently having expected that answer. She was quiet for a minute, as they both listened to the slow beep of Eddie’s heart monitor.

“Can I ask you something?” Robin asked, voice still low. “And you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to, to be clear.”

Steve had an idea of what was coming next and let it happen anyway.

“Sure,” he said.

“This,” she started, gesturing towards Steve slumped in his chair, “is more than just guilt, isn’t it?”

Of course Robin knew. She always went on about how she couldn’t read social cues very well, but Steve couldn’t ever get anything past her. Maybe it was their “telepathic brain thing” that Dustin always complained about them doing. Sometimes it weirded Steve out a little, but right now he was just grateful for it. For Robin.

“No,” he said. His voice sounded small. “It’s hardly guilt at all, really.”

Robin just made little humming noise to herself. Steve took that to mean she wanted him to keep going.

“I mean, I wish we’d done things differently, obviously” Steve said, laughing bitterly so that he wouldn’t cry instead. He’d go back and do things over a thousand times not to end up here again. “I wish I’d stayed with him and Dustin, maybe. Or dealt with Jason when we’d had the chance…” he trailed off, thinking of Max down the hall, Lucas’s swollen face, and the way Erica jumped at every loud noise now. “I’d do a lot differently—or I wouldn’t do it at all. But I blame Vecna more than I blame myself, believe it or not.”

He couldn’t quite figure out what Robin was thinking, or what the look she was giving him meant. Her eyes were soft, a little sad, but also something else.

“I just,” Steve started, but he didn’t know how to say it out loud. Except he knew Robin was waiting for him to, and that she’d be proud of him if he did. The promise of that propelled Steve forward. “I can’t lose him, Robin. Not when I just got him.”

Steve didn’t think he had Eddie, not really. He just knew how Eddie’s teasing grin made his insides warm. How whichever pet name for Steve fell out of his lips at any given moment made him almost forget the apocalypse they were fighting together. Steve didn’t need to have Eddie as his own, he thought. He just needed to know he was alive, that Steve had more days ahead of Eddie invading his personal space, and leaving Steve breathless when he left his scent of smoke and something spicy in his wake.

“You won’t,” Robin said, something steely in her voice now as she grabbed Steve's hand and squeezed. “Neither of them are going anywhere. Not if I can help it.”

Steve did his best to believe her.

———

On the seventh morning of Eddie’s hospital stay, Steve dragged himself into Eddie’s room like usual. Coffee didn’t really do much to quell his exhaustion these days, but he sipped on some anyway as he got to his new routine. He played one of Eddie’s cassettes—quietly, as he’d gotten plenty of dirty looks from the nurses for being too loud before—humming along as he pulled a chair up next to Eddie’s bed. He was so still, Steve couldn’t help reaching out to thread his fingers around Eddie’s wrist, just to feel his pulse still beating away.

This time it stuttered under Steve’s touch. That was new. Steve looked at Eddie’s face, confused. He looked peaceful, like this. His skin was still cool to the touch, but his breathing was even, pulse slow and now jumpy. Was that a good sign?

“Hey, Munson,” Steve said, settling in. He let his grip around Eddie’s wrist loosen, leaving his hand to cover Eddie’s own instead. “It’s been seven days in here, now. Three since you’ve been breathing on your own again. Max is still asleep, too. I wish I had better news. Dustin misses you. I miss you,” Steve sighed and tried to think of something cheerful to share.

“The press does seem to be buying the government’s alternate serial killer theory, since it’s simpler than ’Satan did it,’ I guess. Wayne said the police are working on closing the case against you, so that’s a relief, at least.” Steve dropped his head into his free hand. What good was clearing Eddie’s name if he wouldn’t wake up to see it himself?

“I was wondering why I wasn’t handcuffed to the bed,” a surprisingly smooth and awake voice said above him.

Steve’s head snapped up so fast his neck cracked. Eddie was looking down at him already, his brown eyes darker, somehow. But they were open, bright, and alive. Steve felt his mouth stretch into a wide grin. He didn’t know what to say for what felt like a long time, just smiling stupidly at Eddie.

“Disappointed by that?” Steve finally replied, then immediately felt like kicking himself. Here Eddie was, waking up from a coma, and Steve couldn’t even figure out how to say something normal. Something like, how are you feeling or can I get you some water, sprang to mind too late. But apparently all Steve’s stupid little brain could manage was something not-so-vaguely flirtatious under Eddie’s gaze.

But Eddie didn’t seem to mind. In fact, if Steve wasn’t totally deluding himself, it seemed like Eddie liked it. He didn’t blush, but he looked flustered. Hungry. Steve let that revelation settle deep into his bones, warm and pooling like syrup.

Then he got his shit together.

“How are you feeling?” he asked, squeezing Eddie’s hand. He was still cold. Eddie’s gaze flicked down to Steve’s neck and back. If Steve hadn’t been analyzing Eddie’s every move—for any sign that he might break, might fall back into a coma, might leave again—he’d have probably missed it.

“Starving,” was all Eddie said with a devilish grin.

Steve watched, somewhat dazed, as Eddie let the doctors marvel over his recovery for about forty-five minutes before checking himself out against medical advice. His bites had already scarred over, completely healed in somewhat miraculous fashion. The doctor’s seemed mildly concerned about Eddie’s circulation, given how much blood he’d lost and how slow his pulse still was. But all of his tests were normal, had been for days now. He didn’t seem to have any muscle atrophy, no loss of brain function. He was just Eddie.

So Steve didn’t argue when Eddie asked him to drive him home as soon as possible. Steve wheeled Eddie down the hall to visit Max before he took him back to the motel where Wayne was staying. Eddie had complained loudly about the wheelchair, only relenting when Steve gently laid a hand on his shoulder and said, “Humor me.”

They sat with Max for a while, sobering Steve’s giddiness at Eddie’s complete turnaround. But Steve knew if anyone had the strength in them to do the same, it was Max Mayfield.

No one was here visiting yet—it was still early by anyone but Steve’s standards. So they took their time talking to her, Eddie giving her the daily update like Steve had done for him. He gave Steve a knowing grin as he said, “We all miss you, Red.”

Steve was too busy looking at his feet in embarrassment, so he didn’t notice Eddie hopping out of his wheelchair at lightning speed.

Then Eddie was in his space again, quicker than Steve had time to even account for. Eddie turned into Steve’s neck and whispered, “Cover for me, Stevie.”

Then he dipped down the hallway and into the stairwell.

Steve fumbled to recover for a minute, wondering what on earth had just happened. He looked to Max’s sleeping face as if maybe she’d know. Steve imagined her usual lazy shrug and his heart ached.

Sure enough, a minute later one of the younger nurses came looking for Eddie with discharge paperwork. Bewildered as he was, Steve could handle this part. He leaned against the door frame next to her and grinned.

“I think he went back to his room for something,” Steve said, before putting on the most convincing show of fake flirting he could muster. It still wasn’t his best—Steve was mostly still thinking of Eddie whispering into his neck and ear—but it worked well enough to distract her. Steve was actually surprised to see her face fall when he brushed her off for Eddie’s return.

Take that, Robin, he thought, picturing her damned tally board. Steve thought this whole endeavor probably warranted a point in the ‘You Rule’ column, but he didn’t care much. He was too busy watching Eddie saunter over to his side with his now-zipped jacket suspiciously full looking, and his grin bright.

“Let’s blow this popsicle stand, shall we?”

Steve was too busy caught up in the thrill of Eddie—alive, probably healthy as Steve had ever seen him, laughing breathlessly as they made their escape to Steve’s car—to even ask what he’d been covering for. He wondered if they’d just robbed the hospital pharmacy.

Eddie seemed to wilt a bit once they got outside and the sun peeked out from behind a cloud overhead, hitting him straight in the face.

“Shit,” he mumbled to himself, ducking back into the shade by the doors. “Didn’t think of that.”

“What?” Steve asked, offering his sunglasses over. Eddie accepted them with a grateful smile, then took a tentative step back into the sunshine.

“It’s nothing,” he said, seeming to relax a little once the sunglasses were on. Steve couldn’t help but notice they looked good on him. “Help me to the car, would you?”

So Steve did, offering Eddie an arm to lean on as they made their way through the parking lot. Steve eyed him carefully, but didn’t ask questions.

Well, at least not until they got into the beemer. That’s when Eddie immediately pulled something out of his jacket—was that donated blood?—then tore into the bag and sucked its contents down like, well, water.

Then Steve had questions. The first of which being a hearty, “The fuck?”

Eddie drained the bag and let his head fall back to rest on the seat, exposing the column of his neck. Steve swallowed, cursing his brain to pay attention to what the hell was happening instead of being a slut for once. Eddie lolled his head to look at Steve and gave him a gleaming, bloody smile.

“So, funny story,” he paused. If Steve had to guess it must’ve been for dramatic effect. “I think I’m a vampire.”

———

Admittedly, the whole vampire revelation made Steve a little anxious in a what-in-the-Vecna-fuckery sort of way, but he didn’t trust Eddie any less over it. Just because he was on the slithering asshole’s radar, Steve didn’t understand why he’d have to worry about Eddie being mind-controlled by Vecna anymore that he did for Max or Will. The whole vampire bit was admittedly a curveball, but so was the rest of Steve’s life at this point.

All the same, Eddie himself had insisted that they give it a few days before letting him around the kids, to be sure. Dustin only gave it twenty-four hours before calling a “family meeting” and inviting everyone over to Steve’s. Steve had not been consulted, but what else was new?

So there he sat, Eddie sandwiched between himself and Robin on his couch, while Mike, Lucas, and Dustin took turns pacing in front of them.

The kids eventually devolved into having a rapid-fire debate about some dude called Kas—who apparently destroyed things? Steve wasn’t sure it really mattered. Dustin kept yelling something about Kas and betrayal, whatever that meant, but Mike was countering with something about evil and alignments. Steve guessed it wasn’t about any dark desires from a chiropractor.

Eddie had finally had enough of their bickering and whistled for them to shut up.

“Look, kiddos. I want a Vecna-free brain just as much as you guys. Well, more than you guys do,” he paused to fiddle with his rings. Steve wondered if they weren’t real silver, or if that was just a myth. Then he realized he’d thought all vampire-related things were myths up until yesterday. He shook himself out of his thoughts as Eddie continued. “If he is secretly hanging out in the ol’ noggin, I can’t tell. But don’t you all keep telling me about a girl with mind-reading abilities? Think she could suss him out?”

The room went silent, blessedly, for maybe one-and-a-half seconds.

“Genius!” Dustin exclaimed.

“Where’s El?" Mike asked Lucas at the same time.

“Will that work?” Lucas questioned over everyone else.

“One at a time, Jesus,” Steve cut in, rubbing his eyes. When he stopped, Eddie was looking at him with some emotion Steve couldn’t quite interpret. He stopped trying and turned back to the kids, who stood there staring at him like they were waiting for assignments. Steve sighed, and pointed at Mike. “You first, Wheeler.”

Mike turned to Lucas. “Was El still at the hospital when you left?”

She spent most of her time with either Hopper or Max these days, so it was a fair assumption.

“She was,” Lucas confirmed. “Is that something you think she can do?”

“Probably,” Mike shrugged.

“Definitely,” Will amended, speaking up for the first time in a while.

And so that’s how Steve ended up going to get El so she could “do a proper seance” on Eddie’s brain, as he’d put it.

“I don’t feel him,” El said about an hour later. “Your mind is strange.”

Robin failed to hide her snickering behind her hand.

“Believe me, kid, I know,” Eddie agreed with a grin.

With everyone more relaxed after that, Eddie regaled the kids with his tale of evading tipping off the nurses to his being awake while he pieced together that he’d woken up not quite…human.

“So I played dead,” Eddie told them and flopped on the floor like a sack of dead weight, letting his tongue loll out of his mouth and everything. Steve watched the hem of Eddie’s shirt ride up just far enough to give him a glimpse of the worst of his scarring. They already seemed to have faded again since the day before. “And hoped like hell I wouldn’t eat anyone before I could figure out how to get down to the blood bank. Then Stevie came to my rescue.” He flashed Steve an exaggerated wink and whisked himself back to his feet as he told everyone how waking up felt.

Eddie apparently had a lot of weird dreams while he was still under, too. When Dustin asked, Eddie explained how most were like watching his body turn cold, like steel—or dreams about blood. He recounted waking up and being overwhelmed by feeling almost everything around him, of being able to hear the heartbeat of the patient in the next room over before the monitor even registered it with a beep.

As an added bonus, Eddie also enjoyed showing off the fangs.

Steve had to work to control his face every time Eddie popped those out. Steve thought the fangs should be freaking him out, but they didn’t in the slightest. To the point where Steve thought maybe there was something wrong with his fight or flight response after one-too-many trips to a different dimension. A normal person would be scared, not inexplicably turned on by the thought of them sinking into the flesh of their neck.

In the interest of not exposing himself as a lovestruck idiot to absolutely everyone in the room—Robin absolutely already knew, based on the looks she’d been shooting him all afternoon—Steve excused himself to the patio for a smoke break. He didn’t usually smoke much anymore, unless he was drinking, largely due to Robin’s incessant nagging about it. But Steve was pretty sure if he had to keep his blossoming crush on his friend the vampire in check, he’d need a lot more nicotine to distract himself.

Except Eddie slid out of the patio door to join him. Steve offered him one from his own pack wordlessly. Eddie accepted with a toothy—but thankfully fang-free—grin.

“Do these do anything for you anymore?” Steve asked, suddenly curious.

“Not really,” Eddie shrugged. “I just wouldn’t know what to do with my hands if I quit. Or for an excuse to leave the room when I’m uncomfortable.”

Steve huffed out a nervous laugh, unsure if that was meant to be Eddie calling him out. Unwilling to really find out, Steve stayed quiet and stared up at the few stars that were starting to show themselves.

“Are you sure you wanna let me drive them home?” Eddie asked after a minute, staring determinedly at his shoes. Steve didn’t know what the hell to make of that question.

“I’m not your mother, Munson,” he tried for a lighter tone.

“True,” Eddie smirked, “but you’re kind of theirs, though.”

Fair, Steve thought. But he still wasn’t sure what Eddie was actually getting at. “What’s this about?”

Eddie sighed and stubbed out his cigarette with a frustrated flourish. “I guess I’m asking if you’re sure you trust me to be around them. By myself. When I’m like…this.”

Steve almost laughed, but managed to hold it in once he saw that Eddie was being serious. He was tucking into himself like a pill bug, like he was expecting the fear and revulsion to finally come rolling off of Steve in waves.

Steve had wondered if it was a delayed reaction on his part, as well, and if eventually he’d be disgusted or freaked out by the whole situation. So far those feelings showed no threat of surfacing, and Steve didn’t really think that they would, either.

Instead, all he felt was relief. He was relieved that Eddie was still alive. Or, well, kind of alive. He never really mastered the logistics of all the vampire movies Robin has made him watch. And really, after all of the Upside Down creatures that had tried to eat them over the years, Eddie seemed positively tame.

Most importantly, he seemed like himself.

So, gently, Steve reached his hand across the empty expanse between them and laid it on Eddie’s forearm. Eddie’s eyes snapped up to meet his own.

“I trust you,” Steve said, putting every ounce of sincerity he could muster into the look they shared. Eddie seemed to believe it, because after a moment he deflated, melting back to lean against the house. “And more importantly, so do they,” Steve added, jerking his head back towards the kids inside.

“Your trust is pretty important to me, too, Harrington,” Eddie admitted with an almost shy smile.

Steve sucked whatever he could out of the last dregs of his cigarette and prayed for the strength to survive being a total goner for Eddie Munson.

———

Max seemed to be improving physically, but there were still no signs of her waking up anytime soon. The longer she slept, and the more things deteriorated in town, the more everyone wanted to find Vecna and finish the job.

Soon enough they all coalesced around a plan to end the Upside Down nonsense once and for all. With El and Will back in town, and Eddie’s newfound enhanced abilities of his own, it didn’t take much. Especially once they realized their old friends the demobats were now more inclined to follow Eddie’s lead than “Old Slitherfuck,” as he called Vecna.

One spring night they snuck into the Upside Down one last time and ended things for good. Max woke up in Lucas’s arms the moment Vecna was done and dusted, and El closed the gates for what they all hoped was the final time.

And now? Well. Now everyone was trying to get back to normal. Or as normal as they could be when they had to figure out ways to steal blood for the vampire in their friend group.

So on they went, trying to settle into yet another new set of skin. Eddie was still wary of himself, Steve could tell, but he never withdrew into isolation or tried to convince everyone they were better off without him.

Which was good, because everyone wanted Eddie around that much more.

Dustin wanted nothing more than to test his abilities, and did test whatever Eddie would let him get away with. Robin asked if they could have vampire movie nights, or if Eddie would find that insensitive (he heartily agreed to it). Nancy had a million questions like the good reporter she was, and she and Dustin often piggybacked off each other’s ideas. Mike tended to go between staring at Eddie in awe and wondering if maybe his sexuality was just “people with superpowers.”

Or at least that’s what Steve and Robin assumed when no one else was listening (and Robin wasn’t pointing out Steve’s own crush on a certain vampire).

Steve was just doing his best to cope. He was getting used to the whole “Eddie Munson is now an undead vampire” situation. Really, he was.

Was he sometimes inexplicably a little bit jealous that he apparently didn’t get enough demobat venom to also be turned? Jealous that he wasn’t the one with superhuman strength and outright awe from the kids at his mere existence? If he was, Steve wasn’t willing to admit it out loud. Because he knew where the jealousy was really coming from, and he certainly wasn’t going to admit how attractive he found Eddie’s new set of pearly whites, no matter how many times Robin tried to get him to.

With everyone’s support (and curiosity), it didn’t take very long for Eddie to finally relish his adaptation into an immortal being either. They’d determined that the sun was hard on him—it made him feel sluggish and itchy, “like Kryptonite"—but he didn’t burst into flame under its rays. Usually he just wore sunglasses and carried around an umbrella like an old-timey gentlewoman who didn’t want to accidentally gain a freckle.

Eddie had been a night-owl before, anyway, so nothing much had really changed there either. Silver didn’t hurt him, mirrors still worked on him, and garlic only made him sneeze. No one was willing to check if a wooden stake would do anything, and Eddie seemed as glad of that as Steve was. Other than the commanding an army of bats, invulnerability, and the obvious diet changes, Eddie didn’t seem all that different.

It was driving Steve wild.

The simplest of flirtatious remarks sent him into a tailspin most days. And Eddie was full of flirtatious remarks by default. The more Steve let on that the flirting flustered him, the more elaborate Eddie got with it.

Eddie’s retelling of his and Steve’s escape from the hospital became more embellished, as well. Steve didn’t exactly know what had happened before he’d arrived to visit that morning, but he was pretty sure it didn’t involve a ravenous Eddie hanging upside down from the hospital ceiling to avoid being caught out of bed while he looked for the blood bank, like Eddie claimed.

Once, he was regaling Will and Dustin with his harrowing journey down into the basement on the “hunt for blood,” as he stood on top of the coffee table in Steve’s living room. (Steve did not have it in him to object to this, a bit of a double standard that Robin mocked him mercilessly over.) Steve was only half paying attention—he’d been there, thank you very much, he remembered what actually happened—from the kitchen while dumping a bag of chips into a bowl.

He perked up though when Eddie said, “Steve was pitifully flirting with a nurse for my benefit—“

“Hey!” Steve protested as he made his way back to the living room. He shoved the bowl into Eddie’s chest and flopped on the sofa next to Will. “She was into it.”

“I could tell your heart wasn’t in it, sweetheart,” Eddie said, and shot Steve a wink. It was so simple, barely even a blip on anyone else's radar, but it had Steve feeling heated through.

Steve tried not to melt into the floor as Will gave him a sideways glance. He did his best to ignore it. The last thing he needed was for someone other than Robin to needle him about his ridiculous behavior.

That particular desire was quickly snuffed out by one Dustin Henderson, though.

———

One day in May, Dustin cornered Steve on their way out of the Henderson house.

“Do you have a problem with Eddie?” Dustin asked him, point blank in his hallway. Steve was suddenly very grateful that Claudia was not at home at the moment.

“No?” Steve couldn’t help but let it become a question. Dustin narrowed his eyes.

“Well, it seems like you do. All you ever do is stare at him, you barely talk, you act like you’re going to jump out of your skin if he even looks at you. Are you afraid of him or something?” Dustin’s face softened, like he was trying not to be quite as harsh as usual. There was still a fierceness there, though, that Steve knew was just born of protectiveness over Eddie.

“No,” Steve replied without hesitation. “Even though you might think that’s a perfectly reasonable reaction to have to our friend the newborn vampire, I’m not afraid of him.”

“Well that’s just it!” Dustin half-yelled, throwing his hands in the air. He just barely missed clipping Steve’s nose. “He’s our friend, but you’re back to treating him like some kind of freak. So if you’re not afraid of him, I’d like to know why you’re being a dick.”

Steve flinched. Dustin wasn’t outright saying it, but he got the implication all the same; you’re acting like King Steve again.

He so violently wanted to reject the accusation that he considered telling Dustin the truth.

It wasn’t like Dustin didn’t accept queer people. He knew about Robin now—thank god—and practically mooned over her for weeks with how cool he found it. Steve was pretty sure Dustin wouldn’t react any differently to finding out he was also a member of the fruit basket, as Robin had dubbed them.

Steve took in the sheer disappointment on Dustin’s face and sighed. He retreated into the living room and plopped on the couch, restlessly running his hands through his hair. Tews came up to him and rubbed her cheek against his pant leg. He gratefully scratched her ears.

Steve knew if he just admitted to the jealousy, Dustin would feel better, but wouldn’t entirely lose that kicked-puppy look. ‘I just want my dads to get along,’ he’d taken to whining whenever he felt like Steve and Eddie weren’t bonding to his specifications. Steve tried not to spontaneously combust each time any of the kids referred to him and Eddie as such.

Fuck it, Steve thought. He knew Dustin would latch on to his confession like Dart with a Three Musketeers, and Steve dreaded the conclusions he’d jump to. But he couldn’t stand to disappoint the kid. He took a deep breath in as Dustin sat beside him. For once, he’d kept his mouth shut instead of berating Steve into submission. He waited patiently, quiet.

“I’m not afraid of him,” Steve said again. “I don’t think he’s a freak. I’m not turning back into King Steve.” He gave Dustin a pained look, who had the grace to look a bit sheepish in response. “I like him, okay?”

“You don’t seem like you—“

“No, Dust,” Steve interrupted. He held Dustin’s gaze this time, hoping he’d connect the dots without too much explanation on Steve’s part. “I like him. I stare and barely talk and tense up because he makes me nervous. But in the butterflies in your stomach kind of way, not the oh god he’s going to kill us all in our sleep kind of way.”

Dustin stayed silent, but his eyes were wide as saucers. Steve wondered if he should give himself a pat on the back for rendering Dustin Henderson speechless for possibly the first time ever.

“You okay?” Steve asked instead, picking at his pant leg. Steve was nearly certain Dustin wouldn’t care that he was bisexual, sure. But he couldn’t help but worry that Dustin still wouldn’t approve—that Steve wouldn’t be good enough, not for Eddie, not in Dustin’s eyes.

Dustin had a knack for surprising Steve, though.

“This is amazing,” he said, eyes practically fucking sparkling with delight.

[PART TWO]

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi! I saw that you were theorizing before about Sherlock so I really want two things let out of my chest since I saw the series and I am curious what you think.

First of all, I have always had this theory that Moffat and Gatiss wanted Johnlock as their end-goal. I studied Film and screenwriting which taught me a lot and there is NO WAY they made all those things suggesting that their relationship is keep building from colleague to friends to something else in the first two season just by share accident. There are so many ways they could have done it and I don't believe it that they wanted queer baiting just for the sake of it THIS much without a resolution. I especially not believe it since Gatiss is gay and he should know more. Not to mention that the interviews around the first two seasons were quite telling sometimes that they were not opposed to the idea. Then something happened. My theory is that either the BBC or whoever was charged of Doyle estate and Sherlcok Holmes right (which became free from this year), or maybe even both of them could see where this is going and let Mofftiss know that they can't do that. They are bringing the money and they can call the shots even though they are the creators so they needed to compromise. And you can see they clearly made a turn from Season 3. And I think you can tell about the interviews as well from that period. I believe that's (one of the) reason Martin had enough by the end probably and they just did the job they had to do. That's what I felt. Like they were acting but it didn't really have the....spice if you know what I mean. What do you think? I have always had this theory but since studying film and how film production work and the writing progress I am convinced that they thought it through and they had a clear intension, a long game but they need to stop. 2. This second one is not a theory but it always really bugged me. In the last episode, the Final problem when Sherlock had to call Molly to make her say I love you (let's not talk about the part how rubbish it was), why Molly looked so...pardon my language...shit? She looked so done, like she was crying for hours before and it was just super weird. What was the intention behind it? It was never really explained. Or did they want to suggest that she had a shitty day and she has no patience today for Sherlock or what? She was so completely different than normally. (And I try not to rage about the fact how they underminded her character but that's another story). What do you think about that one? Honestly it really bothered me when I saw that.

Sorry for the long post. This is something I have in me for years and I didn't really have anyone to share with. If anyone else wants to comment on it, go ahead. (And english is not my first language so sorry if there are grammar issues)

Hey Lovely!

Sorry for the delay in a reply, I always need to switch my brain into Meta Mode™ to answer these types of questions, and since I don't do that much anymore, I have to go back and see what I used to theorize, LOL. So, let's go:

ONE:

Your theory aligns mostly with my own: either the (at the time) Doyle estate got involved since they saw where the plot lines were leading to post-S3, OR – and this is the one I lean more heavier towards – BBC interference. I believe there was a turnover of higher-ups at BBC at the time, if I recall correctly, and perhaps their vision for the show differed from what the story was being told. I agree with you – there is NO WAY that they DIDN'T see what they were doing...

Which then leads me to the third (and, I fear, the actual answer) option – queerbaiting to bring in the numbers. Moffat has done projects in the past where he never follows through with the queer romance or they die / happens offscreen, and Gatiss has openly admitted to using homoeroticism to bring in an audience after the downfall of S4. So It's also likely that they got too full of themselves, and without a third writer to reign them in and make a cohesive narrative (at the VERY least make S4 make sense to the other previous episodes with or without Johnlock endgame), they wrote something no one liked at ALL (even though they LEGIT thought TFP was great enough to nominate for an Emmy, if I recall correctly, and backed down on that claim after it was critically panned), including the critics AND general audience, basically told everyone they were stupid, and picked up their ball and went home. And they refuse to say if Sherlock is done at this point because the Brand™ gets them money still.

None of the actors seemed very happy after S4, even though they worked SO hard to make the best with what they had been given. Martin was DONE in interviews, Ben is SO bad at faking it, but he tried, bless his heart, and I think at this point, with both Martin and Ben busy with their own careers and side projects, I don't think we're getting anything within the next 5 years. But I've been surprised before.

TWO:

Ah, yes, the Molly Thing in TFP™, one of the things that just... ruined her entire character, devolving her back to ASiP Molly. The running theory – or at least my theory – is that she is a placeholder character for John in John's coma nightmare. She is John's inner feelings, the ones John himself feels like he can't express to Sherlock because he fears the rejection from Sherlock. I PERSONALLY think that's how we're supposed to read that scene, because otherwise any other context is weird and demeaning to her character arc.

But then again, the entirety of S4 is one big FU the series without an S5 to clean it up.

-------

I hope I helped a bit with this response! Sorry if I missed anything, I'm exhausted and need some sleep LOL.

Feel free, friends, to add your own thoughts.

[belphegor1982]

9, Cobra Kai: Miguel and Sam.

Hey, I actually managed to write something :D I hope I didn't miss the mark too much with this assignment - it's more of a discussion of sleep deprivation than the actual thing, like... 60/40? But I had fun with those kids and it was my first time getting into Miguel's head, yay 💜

(here's 900 words set in the almost immediate aftermath of 5.10 - no season 6 spoilers!)

[Put That Guy in a Situation™ ask game/prompts]

Restless

Tap-tap-tap-tap. Miguel’s knee bounces up and down and up again and down again. Small movement, quiet rhythm, heel to floor, never ending. When he tries to stop his toes take it up. It’s weird to think that there was a time not so long ago that even wriggling one toe used to be so much work. Perhaps this is why he hasn’t really tried to slow down. Besides, nobody’s told him to cut it out yet – not the nurses and doctors walking past him, not even the woman behind the desk a few feet away, answering phone calls, typing on her computer, and being tiredly polite to people asking her question after question.

Still, he startles when he registers the footsteps.

“Still wired too, huh?”

There’s a wry smile in Sam’s voice, and sure enough, that’s what her face looks like when he looks up and sees her standing to his right. She also looks pinched, with dark shadows under her eyes, but there’s a peace to her that matches the one tucked in a corner of Miguel’s heart.

“Uh, yeah. It’s, uh…” He glances at his phone – doesn’t unlock it, just switches it on then off – and feels his eyes go round at the time displayed on the screen. “Wow. Yeah. Well, it’s not like I could sleep anyway.” He cracks a smile. “Maybe I’ll never sleep ever again, who knows.”

“Or maybe you’ll crash for a week and wake up in the future,” Sam says with a twinkle in her eyes. She has a very expressive face, and it’s impossible to miss the worry furrow between her brows and the downturn of her mouth when she asks more quietly, “How’s Sensei Lawrence?”

“Still in radiology, but Mom said he’d be okay.” So did Sensei Lawrence, but Miguel is more inclined to trust his mom on things like that. “How’s Sensei Toguchi?”

Sam’s eyes dart right to the corridor she just came in from. Then she plops on the seat next to Miguel and lets out a sigh with the hint of a shudder.

“Still in intensive care. Mom said they’ll probably keep him for a few days – he lost a lot of blood.” Her eyes meet his, very blue, very warm. “But she also said he’s going be okay.”

“Good.”

There’s a million questions in Miguel’s head, like what the hell do you think happened to them, or what’s gonna happen now Cobra Kai isn’t a thing any more, or do you think you and Tory can be friends because I swear she’s a great girl when you get to know her, but for some reason they don’t make their way out. Probably because there’s too many of them.

Maybe Sam is having the same problem, maybe not; she lays her head on his shoulder and stays there, a warm, comfortable weight against him, and asks, “So. Not sleeping ever again, huh. What do you think you’ll do with all that time on your hands?”

Miguel has always loved to yes, and, and Sam has always been really fun to play off of. He grins.

“Well, apparently people who get up really early can, like, do crazy stuff with their brain, or become amazing athletes or something. Maybe I could take up a hobby.”

“Oh yeah?” There’s a grin in Sam’s voice, now, too. “Like what?”

“I was thinking crochet. Or running. Maybe karate. Or… I dunno, finger painting?”

“Back up, that third one sounds cool. You should look into it.”

“You know what, maybe I will.”

Sam laughs quietly. Miguel can’t make out her face very well from this angle, but he can see her eyelashes cast small shadows on her cheeks. The sight makes his heart beat faster, but more steadily, like the softness of it is soothing some of his raw edges from the fight, the stakes – the whole night, really.

“I might, too,” she says, her voice lower, but still smiling. “You know, if I can never sleep again either and I start seeing spiders and stuff. Apparently that’s a thing when you’re really sleep deprived.”

Miguel scrunches his face. “Arachnophobia?”

“Hallucinations,” she corrects with a snort. “Plus headaches and anxiety and being really aggressive for no reason.”

“Damn. Then I might try the alternative instead.”

“Crashing for a week and waking up in the future? That could work.”

Sam hums. The vibration of it travels down Miguel’s shoulder and into his chest. It settles into his stomach and stays there, and even though it fades after a second it’s like he doesn’t really go away.

Or maybe it’s just Sam’s deep breathing. In, out. In, out. It’s not even the sort of breathing exercises Mr. LaRusso likes to start his lessons with; it’s just… peaceful.

“We’re gonna be okay,” he hears her murmur, and smiles into her hair.

Miguel still doesn’t quite know what to do with the nervous energy he’s now recognising as a leftover from the adrenaline rush, but he’s startled to realise that somewhere in the last few minutes his knee completely stopped bouncing.

Sam slips into sleep surreptitiously, like dusk turns into night. Miguel holds her body against his, warm and soft and real, and wonders what the future will look like when she wakes up.

It’ll be uncharted, and it’ll be good – they all fought hard enough for it.

And he’ll be greeting it with eyes wide open.

—

(I've always loved how those two have their own games of "yes, and". It's adorable 💜)

I hope you liked it! :o)

[geddy-leesbian]

weird writing ask: 18, 19, 24

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end.

Going with the first passage with a clear origin story that came to mind. The first draft and final version of a moment from a long-awaited treasure at the end of my cruel fate:

The concept started very late when I was very on sleep meds way back in september and wrote this:

The next day I managed to figure out what I was thinking about, which was the final cutscene of Starcraft 2 Wings of Liberty. The dramatic reveal of Tychus working for Mengsk is ahhhhh. The way Jimmy just hears Mengsk's voice coming from Tychus's helmet and it sinks in that the man he thought was his best friend, who he has a long history with, was a mole working for his worst enemy for the entire game AHHHHHHHH

So I wanted a similar dramatic reveal moment with Serrennedy. Krauser's voice coming from an ear piece Luis has, Leon realizing that he's been betrayed. I went through a few variations of the rest of the plot, like there was a less angsty version where Leon didn't die, but the Saddler using Luis as a tool to distract Leon and Krauser monitoring him concept stayed the same over the SEVERAL MONTHS it sat in my drafts collecting dust

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

As far back as I can remember tbh. I was writing pokemon fanfiction by first grade. I just liked it. And I've been sporadically writing ever since, posting it online starting in middle school. I had a phase in middle school where I wanted to be a Real Fiction Writer™ in middle school, and then in high school I was a journalist for my school's newspaper and had a phase where I wanted to be a journalist. That interest gradually faded and was replaced with wanting to be a mortician (still planning on that!) and I lost interest in writing fics, possibly because my daily X-Men roleplay was enough to get my writing fix ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Something about Luis Serra did insane things to my brain and got me writing more than I had in a very long time, and actually posting my writing for the first time in years. I'm just going to keep going with whatever's fun for me.

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

This is hard for me to answer, it just depends. I just kinda do stuff impulsively. I guess my visualization stuff counts as prep. As everyone knows, my RE4R autism is terminal at this point and I have folders on my phone for a few characters, locations, pairings, etc. and the first thing I do when I come up with a new concept is go through all of those folders selecting pictures that feel related. And of course I do my playing with pngs like they're paper dolls edits.

It gets the brain juices flowing. And I do enjoy it, otherwise I just wouldn't do it.

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

Hello! Sending some numbers from the end-of-year book ask, I'm not sure of everything you've already answered, so if you'd like to do any or all of these: 4, 5, 12 (especially because you write about reading books with vibes related to your projects), and 17. I hope you feel better!

hiya!! thanks for the ask! referencing this post.

4. If you DNF any books, what was the pettiest reason you put a book down this year?

so one of my toxic reader traits is actually that i DON'T tend to DNF things--i'm very stubborn, and i tend to read fast enough that it doesn't feel like a waste of too much time, AND i usually flip from "Reading to Read" to "Reading to Tear That Shit Apart" (as a writerly exercise, mostly, or for a hate read, which i find cathartic because i am frequently full of rage these days).

one book that is taking me Much Longer Than Anticipated to get through, though, is DAEMON VOICES by Philip Pullman, which i started in....september. a writer friend gifted it to me, and i was pleasantly surprised by the last book she gifted me, so i'm slogging along. but. this man. grates on me. it's mostly his hot takes on religion, so i keep putting him in time out when he conflates shit he has no business conflating. some of his general story thoughts are interesting! but every time he mentions religion, he's on thin ice with me, and he keeps winding up in Time Out About It lol. (also the lectures transcribed to essays format isn't really working for me, pettily.)

5. What's a scene you read this year that sticks with you?

oof okay i LOVE the specificity of this question but it absofuckenlutely made me bluescreen haha.

after staring at my shelves about it for a few minutes (quite a few minutes), i have to confess that MOST of NETWORK EFFECT is imprinted on my grey matter (but that's my second time rereading it, so i don't know if it counts. shout out to "ART sent me" and "you little idiot," especially).

for things new to me this year: the last scene of ROADSIDE PICNIC by the Strugatskys has apparently ALSO imprinted on my brain (unexpected), and mumu's delightful narration in WALKING PRACTICE by Dolki Min has great sticking power (there's some VERY cool text formatting going on there that feeds into the voice, which i loved!).

12. Did any book inspire you to create?

first off, it made my whole week that you mentioned the reading/writing/vibes thing, i feel seen and known, thank you!!

second off: WALKING PRACTICE gave me excellent writing-related vibes and inspiration for my weird little monster child book, and i loved the cool formatting/voice things it did. (it definitely comes with content warnings, though, for things like graphic on-page sex and body horror and eating people (frequently all three of those together/concurrent), so proceed with caution if that's not your jam!)

the SKYBOUND SAGA also inspired ~creation~ for me, from the opposite direction: very much a "damn, if this can get published, mine can too, let's gooo" type of inspiration. (i am a spite-fueled being, sometimes.)

17. A book you reread this year. Did it hold up to how you remembered it?

oh! i did actually quite a bit of rereading toward the end of the year!! i reread ARTIFICIAL CONDITION and NETWORK EFFECT in preparation for SYSTEM COLLAPSE, and those absolutely held up--ART and murderbot are my beloveds, and i stayed up way past my bedtime for like a week in a row (even though i have reread both of those at least once before, so hypothetically i know what's coming and i could put them down any damn time)(reader, i cannot).

my other rereads were VICIOUS and VENGEFUL by VE Schwab. VICIOUS held up perfectly, too--i've reread it before, and this time i did it specifically to dissect her timelines, and it's just a masterpiece of tension and pacing and history and reveals.

VENGEFUL, on the other hand, was Fine™. i don't hate it, but i don't love it--i could set that one down easier (which was good for my aforementioned bedtimes), and dissecting it wasn't as helpful of an exercise. don't get me wrong, i love victor and mitch and syd, and i enjoyed eli's backstory, but. it wasn't VICIOUS.

thanks again for asking!!

[chaos-of-the-abyss]

#this#but when he's having a Weird Brain Day™ his answer is#“yes but only if my clone is evil”

this by extension also means dior:

wants to have hate sex

wants to have a good time while having hate sex

wants to know if he's good at hate sex

in the would you fuck your clone meme, dior is either "i'd fuck my clone because who would know better how to fuck me than ME?" and "i'd totally fuck my clone because i want to know if i'm good in bed". hmm. it varies by day methinks

[darthstitch]

Stork Delivery Service

Okay, so Matthew thinks he's got this whole Raven of the Dreaming business down pat, right?

What? It's been a hundred years. There was one harrowing moment where he thought that they were all gonna lose the Boss and end up with Daniel becoming the new Boss but that didn't happen, thank Christ and all His Angels (especially Michael) for that.

But hey, things worked out, right? The Boss is happily married to Hob Gadling and it's kinda sweet how those two had never seemed to have left the "honeymoon phase" what with all the cooing and flirting via poetry.

(It had the added benefit of sending Desire of the Endless into a total hissy fit because ewww not my brother ick ick ick nooooo and apparently there WAS such a thing as Brain Bleach™ which was just karma, in Matthew's considered opinion.)

Anyway!

There had been a few weird happenings in the Dreaming lately, what with Lucienne suddenly finding the Library completely upside down, for starters. Then, there was that day where everyone seemed to be suffering the worst Migraine in History and the Dreaming had collectively gone, "Yeah, nope, we're not going to be working today. Eurgh."

And then, there were a few nights where everyone just woke up craving all sorts of food. Like Matthew himself suddenly just wanted a pizza with all the toppings, including pineapple, for Chrissakes and pineapple was a mortal sin against pizza, worthy of being damned to the lowest pit of hell, okay?!

So Matthew just gets this strange compulsion, like he needed to check things out over by the Giant Rapunzel Patch™ - which, apparently, was in use by the more Fairy Tale-inclined dreams. Sure, whatever - Matthew wasn't exactly a big fan of eating his vegetables. Sorry, kids.

And he settles down by this utterly ginormous patch of rampion and finds... a baby.

A very familiar looking baby.

Look, the kid looked very much like a certain Lord of Dreams - what with the whole Snow White routine, right down to the rosebud lips in that Familiar Pout, protesting his current indignity with all his might.

Matthew manages to scrounge up the softest blanket he could find and wraps the kid up, a minor feat, what with the lack of opposable thumbs. But he did it and he flew off to the Castle with the baby, who calmed down immediately, much to Matthew's relief.

His Darkness was oddly unsurprised when Matthew deposited the kid into his arms, snuggling him close and greeting him with a: "Hello, my little love. Welcome home."

Look, Matthew could be forgiven for the incoherent: "Uh, Boss, how?!!! And what's his name?!"

Dream declined to answer the first question. But the answer to the second was, "His name is Oliver. His other father will be very glad to meet him."

Oliver, the little Prince of the Dreaming, was just as delighted to meet his Da, at least as far as they could tell with the happy gurgling and cooing.

-end-

Footnote the First: Dream is STILL refusing to explain how Oliver came to be, other than: "It is all very much my husband's fault."

Footnote the Second: Hob's only response to this is: "Welp, when two people love each other very much..."

Footnote the Third: Oliver's godparents include a Muse, one Really Old Guy, an Archangel, Death of the Endless and Rose Walker.

Footnote the Fourth: Oliver's first complete sentence was "Shaxbert yucky!" much to the delight of his other father. Look, if Dream wasn't singing him lullabies, he tended to fall asleep to Hob's infamous Shakespeare Rants™!

[captain-krow-drozdov]

2012 TMNT x ROTTMNT Crossover Idea Thingy (Disaster Twins Edition)

So Basically, Donnie And Leo Hear Through The Ye Ol Grapevine That Big Mama Has Got Her Hands On A Rather Interesting Mystical Doohickey That Will Supposedly Summon Skilled Fighters For Her Battle Nexus From Other Timelines/Universe's.

The Twins Basically Go Fuck It We Ball To This And Start To Plan A Little Recon Mission, Cause Honestly Sounds Fake But Bet. And Well Since This Recon Mission Happens To Land On Their Twins Only Bonding Day They Might As Well Confused The Fuck Outta Anyone At The Hotel Who Manages To See Them. So They Pull The One Prank Every Set Of Twins/Siblings Has To Pull At Least Once, Pretend To Be The Other, Or More Specifically Two Leos.

Rise Donnie Goes Full Cosplay On This Shit, My Guy Has A Battle Shell Made To Look Exactly Like Leos Shell, He Paints On Leo's Markings, He's Wearing One Of Leo's Spare Blue Bandanas And Each Twin Has One Of Leo's Mystic Katanas (A Back Up Escape Plan In Case Things Go Sideways) And A Normal Replica Katana. Donnie Looks Like A Mirror Image Of Leo, Granted Donnie And Leo's Red And Blue Eyes Have Always Mirrored The Others.

They Get To Big Mama's Hotel And The Plans Going Well Enough So They Split Up (Keeping In Touch Via Mind Meld/Twin Telepathy BS) To Look For More Information, This Leads To Donnie Getting Found And The Plan Changing To Donnie Playing Distraction For Big Mama Via Fighting In The Battle Nexus (The Twins Aren't Too Scared Because Leo Can Teleport Donnie Out If Things Get Dicey And Donnie Can Fight Perfectly Fine Without Any High Tech/Mystic Stuffs Anyhow) And Leo Looking For Any Concrete Info/Mystic Doohickey That Is Possibly Summoning Potentially Dangerous Fuckers.

Now The 2012 Bois On The Other Hand Have No Idea What The Shit Is Going On, It's Been A Shitty Day Okay Man? They Were Just Minding Their Business Then The Next Thing They Know Is Weird Glowy Hamato Clan Symbols Appear Underneath Them And Then One World's Worst Uber Ride Later They Are In A Not So Graceful Turtle Pile On The Floor In Front Of A Giant Spider Mutant Who Just Called Them "Turtly-Boos~".

Said Giant Spider Lady Oh So Kindly Informed Them (In Words That Mikey Is Pretty Sure Aren't Real) That They Will Be Her New Battle Nexus Champions, Which Leads Them To Where They Are Now Sitting In Holding Cell Waiting To Be Sent Out Into Some Sort Of Underground Mutant Gladiator Pitt Still Woozy From Previously Mentioned 0/5 Star Uber Ride And Thoroughly Done™ With The Day.

Now You See Leo Has Outsmarted Big Mama A Few Too Many Times In Her Opinion And She Isn't Above Setting Him Up In A Four Against One Fight, Because Well What's More Fun Than One Ninja Turtly-Boo Throwing Hands With People? Why Five Ninja Turtly-Boos Fighting Each Other Of Course!

Donnie Is Just Vibing With The Chaos At This Point (The Fights He's Been In So Far Weren't Too Hard To Be Completely Honest) And The Ring Is Empty At The Moment, The Announcer Going On A Long Winded Spiel About The Next Opponents That Donnie Had Long Since Tuned Out In Favor Of Touching Base With Leo On His Progress. Leo Apparently Had Confirmed The Existence Of The Aforementioned Mystic Doohickey And Worse He Found Out It's Already Been Used At Least Once And He's Currently Planing On How To Steal It Since They're Already Here.

Donnie Is About To Respond When His Four New Opponents Appear. Some Rather Familiar Looking Color Coded Turtles Who May Or May Not Be Ninjas... Shit. Well That Answers What The Mystic Doohickey Does And Well Donnie Has Always Wondered If He'd Win In A Fight Against An Alternate Version Of Himself... So He Raises The Katanas And Sends Leo A Simple But Clear Message, "You Owe Me $20 The Multiverse Is Real And I'm About To Four V One Our Alternative Selves."

(That's All I Got Tbh, Otherwise My Brain Says Donnie Fights For Appearances And Well Fun (They Are The Disaster Twins After All) As Leo Attempts To Get The Mystic Doohickey Before They Call Off Stealing The Mystic Doohickey For Now Before Alternate Turtle Bros Get Hurt, Leo Teleports To Donnie Then Portals Them All Out Of The Battle Nexus And Back To The Lair Where Leo And Donnie Do Rock Paper Scissors Over Who Has To Tell Dad And Raph What Went Down. 2k12 Bros Are Trying To Figure Out Why This Universe Has Two Leo's And No Donnie To Be Seen, Miscommunication Ensues Via The Twin Just Going With It. Rise Fam Are This 👌 Close To Putting The Twins On Child Leashes.)

[shinsorokiri]

S/o Loses Memory and Quirk | 2

Aizawa, Hawks, and Dabi HCs

Warnings: Language, violence, Dabi catches someone on fire, talks of killing, sadness, mentions of hospitals, fire in general

A/N: CONTENT? ON MY BLOG? Wild. But seriously, I had fun writing these! It was nice to finally write again :,) I hope y’all enjoy it as much as I did! I did kinda do something different for Hawks, but I hope that’s okay Anon. Happy reading!

aizawa shouta | eraser head

It was quite the transition for you going from single and not a teacher in your mind to in a serious relationship and a teacher of upcoming heroes

It was also quite the transition from being able to fight with your quirk to only being able to fight with your hands and maybe a weapon

But lucky for you

Your man was there to help you out

Of course you only know the things about your relationship that he has told you

But hey

Things could be worse

Of course you were off work for now

And yeah a lot of it had to do with the fact you don’t remember anything 

But the main thing was a new handicap you had developed 

It hit you out of nowhere about a week after you were getting adjusted to your new old life

You were at Aizawa’s... or uh... Shouta, he said you could call him that

Still a little weird calling a man you barely know by his first name so you get tripped up sometimes

But anyways 

You were at his school sanctioned apartment

Because Recovery Girl thought it would be a good idea for you to be monitored for a while and obviously 

Aizawa jumped at that

He made sure you were comfortable with it though

And even offered to stay at your school sanctioned apartment

And you appreciated it

But honestly

You still thought he was crazy attractive 

And there could be worse things than staying in this man’s apartment

So you said yes

And you’d be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy staying with him

He was very attentive

And just

Really nice

So you were lucky that you had someone like him with you

Because one day you were cooking

You decided to make something for him instead of the other way around because you wanted to show your gratitude for him

When suddenly 

You got the worst pain you have ever felt in your head

It was a headache but a headache at the base of your skull

So bad in fact that you collapsed 

It about gave Aizawa a heart attack

He was by your side in like .5 seconds

He heard you fall and RUSHED

He picked you up and hurried you to his room all the while asking what’s wrong

You couldn’t really answer because the pain was pulsating

So you just groaned

And that freaked him out some more

He laid you down super carefully

And all you wanted him to do was lay down next to you and pull you as close to him as he possibly could

Why he wasn’t was a mystery to you at this point in time because HELLO SHOUTA TAKE CARE OF ME

“(Y/n) I’m gonna call Recovery Girl, okay?”

You whimper 

And your eyes are squeezed shut

Needless to say Aizawa is so scared

He calls Recovery Girl immediately

And mans is a little frantic

But before she even gets there

The pain stops

It’s gone

It went away?

And what went away with it was every thought you had during that little... attack?

You open your eyes

And see Aizawa staring at you with The Most Concerned™ face

It was kinda cute

“…Shouta…?”

“(Y/n)…? Are you okay? What happened, what’s going on? Did you faint or-”

“I’m fine… I think… I don’t know what happened I didn’t pass out or anything my head just… hurt. Like, a lot.”

“Oh… oh.”

There’s a silence between you two

But you note how relieved he looks for a moment before it immediately turns to concern again

“Um… Recovery Girl is on her way here. Maybe she’ll be able to help?”

“I hope so.”

Recovery Girl

Could not help

But!!!

This was new information

So she sent you to the hospital

You got an MRI of your brain

The part of your brain that seems to just be shut off at first was the same as before

Not Working

But

Luckily and unluckily you had an attack in the MRI Machine

And the doctor’s realized that when the pain was happening

That part of your brain started functioning again

That’s what was causing the pain

All the blood vessels in that part of your brain started to dilate 

And it caused you extreme pain

The upside, though, was that your brain was fighting to work against whatever had happened to it

But damn you were tired of being randomly rendered absolutely useless because of the amount of pain you were in

Every time it happened and Aizawa was around, though, you were immediately comforted

Every time he would just pull you into his arms and stroke your head until it stopped

It was comforting to you and him

And it’s helping you see why you fell in love with him in the first place

It was about a month after the incident and you were still basically living with Shouta

And every week the pain got worse, lasted longer, and happened more frequently

And every week Aizawa took more time off of work to look after you

And for some reason the both of you noticed your memory was getting even spottier

You seemed to be forgetting things you recalled weeks ago

This deeply worried Aizawa

And he always had his eye on you

Literally always

But the FEAR this man felt at a month and 4 days of you living with him so he could monitor you

Rivaled the fear he felt when he first saw you get hurt

It was like any normal time you got one of your headaches

Except this time

Instead of you snapping out of it

You just stopped moving

You weren’t making noises

Your eyes were still open but you weren’t responsive

He FREAKED the FUCK out

He sped to the hospital

And they took you in and checked for anything that could be wrong

The portion of your brain that wasn’t working was trying to work again

Which meant you were still in extreme pain

And the pain was so bad that you were unable to do  a n y t h i n g

The hospital gave you heavy ass sedatives

And some hardcore pain killers

So you were unconscious and ~couldn’t feel a thing~

And Aizawa found himself sitting next to you

Holding your hand

Fucking Terrified

The worst case scenario found it’s way into his head

What if you never woke up?

What if this was slowly killing you this whole time, and he just watched and let it happen?

He should have done more to save you

The fact you’re lying basically comatose in a hospital bed is all because he wasn’t there to protect you

He was sitting there

Staring at the ceiling 

Holding your hand

Silent tears streaming down his face

These thoughts running around his head for hours

When suddenly he felt your hand squeeze his

He looked at you

And he saw you give him a small smile

The sparkle you would get in your eye from looking at him that he hadn’t seen in a month was in full force

“Thanks for taking care of me while I fought back, Sho.”

He could have screamed

But instead he just hopped into the bed with you and hugged you as tight as possible

“Okay there, babe, I can’t breathe.”

He hears your giggle and his heart literally skips a beat

He loosens his grip on you

“Sorry, (Y/n). I just… I really missed you. So much.”

You swear you’ve never seen him smiling so big

You’ve also never seen him cry so much

Honestly, it moved you to tears as well

“What are you talking about? I was always right there with you.”

You put yourr hand on his cheek

Wiping away some of the tears pouring from his eyes

“No, I know that, but… I missed you. I missed hearing your giggles any time I did something stupid, I missed hearing you say ‘I love you’ every time you left the apartment or when you were dozing off and absentmindedly hummed it, I missed when you would run your fingers through my hair and detangle it to help me destress when the kids were giving me a hard time. I just missed you.”

“Well, I’m back. And I’m not leaving any time soon, I can promise you that.”

The doctors did some more tests

And the part of your brain that was dormant was now fully functional

You did suffer some memory loss, though

A lot of the time you had forgotten was when your brain wasn’t functioning properly

But you and Aizawa were both fine with that

And of course you still had to stay in his apartment with him until the doctor’s were sure you were back to normal

Which was so nice

And you honestly didn’t even want to go back to living on your own

(Spoiler, you didn’t, you moved in)

Oh

Your quirk also returned

And you were back in your classroom as soon as possible

And unbeknownst to you

Aizawa has this villain on his radar still

And he cannot wait until he sees them again

takami keigo | hawks

It’s been a month and a half since you’d lost ability of your quirk and your memory of the last two years of your life

And the whole time

Keigo has been trying to find the perfect opportunity to ask Dabi who did this to you

So imagine how crushed he feels when he finds out that villain had died

The villain who did this to you just so happened to piss Shigaraki off and

Well

Yeah

Asshole is now dust

I mean they totally got what they deserved but uh

No one can fix your memory now

But we’re getting a little ahead fo ourselves here

Rewind to when you first lost your quirk and memory

You’d figured out your memory of the last two years was gone pretty damn quick

And then in typical you fashion you lowkey told off the doctor for not telling you about it sooner

And went on all your socials only to see that you were in fact in a relationship with Hawks

Which was wild to you

Because holy SHIT you got HAWKS???

You were very pleased with that 

But you were also kinda sad

Because you don’t remember anything about your relationship

You practically memorized every picture the two of you had on your social medias

And every tweet you made about him

Every video of him online talking about you

Every text the two of you had sent

You were recovering in the hospital for a while and didn’t have anything else to do

So you, for lack of a better word, studied up

Keigo came in the next day and you immediately threw a stuffed animal at him

“And why didn’t you tell me we are technically in a year long relationship, birdbrain?”

“You just answered your question, dove. I quite literally have a bird brain, there’s nothing I can do about it.”

The two of you sat and talked about your relationship for the rest of the day

“Yeah, uh… we do live together, by the way. We figured it would be the safest option for the both of us being pro-heroes and all… and you also got tired of me picking the lock to your window in your old apartment every night. This one time you were having a ‘cool down night’ and I, not knowing this, came in through the window but I tripped and made a very loud banging noise and the next thing I knew someone who looked like my girlfriend but had a charcoal face mask on and a knife in hand was ready to fight. I may have screamed. Loud.”

He smiles after you chuckle at this

Then he frowns when you frown

“What’s wrong, little bird?”

“I just… I want to remember you.”

That sentence made his heart do a hurt

“Tell me more…? Please?”

He just told you stories for the rest of the night

Until you got tired and he had to leave, that is

And then he vowed to find this villain and get your memories back

This happened every day until you were released from the hospital

But even after that

You moved back into your shared penthouse with Keigo

And when he was home and not at work he would spend every minute with you

He would try to jog your memory by talking about the smallest things the two of you had done

Of course it didn’t work

But he was trying as hard as he could

You knew about his plan to get your memory back

And that’s why you were thoroughly concerned when you came home from the grocery store one day to see him laying face down on the couch with his wings just kind limp at his sides

“Kei? What’s wrong?”

He perks up when he hears you

But then he frowns and sinks back into the couch

“Okay, yeah, that was telling that something is definitely wrong but I still have no idea why there’s a soggy chicken on my couch. Care to explain?”

He sighs

And turns his head to look at you

“They’re dead.”

“What?”

“The villain. The person who did this to you. The only person who could reverse this. They’re dead.”

You’re quiet for a moment

“…Oh.”

There’s a heavy silence between the two of you for a while

You were upset

Really, you were

You just wanted to remember Keigo

The stories helped, sure

But you wanted to remember all the memories you made

“I’m sorry, (Y/n). I was supposed to fix this, and look at me now. I can’t believe the dinosaurs devolved into whatever the fuck kind of failure I am.”

You frown

“Stop that, Keigo. You’re not a devolution you’re literally an evolution of the human race.”

“And so were you until I fucked it up.”

“Keigo.”

He just sighs

Finally sitting up

“Sorry. I just… really wanted to get your memory and quirk back for you. You don’t deserve this shit.”

“It’s okay. Honestly. I am a little bummed about it, obviously, but… I still have the most loving and caring boyfriend in the world… so… I can’t really complain.”

He feels the corners of his mouth perk up a bit

But he still is upset

He knows all you want is to remember all the things the two of you shared

Hell, you don’t even remember him asking you to be his girlfriend

And yeah, he tells you the stories all the time

But there’s something different about hearing something and seeing something

Living something

And that

Is when our lovely birdbrain remembers something

“I’m gonna go for a quick fly. Just to take my mind off some things.”

“Okay, well, I can tell you’re still upset, so be ready to eat some chicken when you get back. I’ll order from your favorite place.”

He snorts

“This. This is why. My order is-”

“Oh, honey, I know. We’ve ordered this place like seven times in the past two weeks.”

“Thank you, dove!”

And with that he’s gone

You shake your head with a smile

But order the food immediately

And little do you know

He flew back into your place very quietly

And went in the closet

He pulls out a shoe box and then takes off again

He goes to the rooftop that he asked you to be his girlfriend at the first time

And opens his little box

Thank god he’s secretly the sentimental and soft type 

Because he has pictures of so many of your dates

And little keepsakes from multiple of them

And all the notes he’d ever written you

And all the gifts he’d ever received from you

All of it

And he starts setting it all up

Putting it all together

He’s ready to sit there all night with you

And just tell you absolutely everything you want to know

All the stories behind the pictures

After he thinks it’s all perfect

He flies back to your place

And at good timing too because the food just got there

“Hey, Kei! Your bird instincts are really sharp, everything just got here, do you wanna watch a move or-“

“I wanna take you somewhere. Bring the food.”

“Oh? Okay, let me go grab my shoes and-“

“No need. Come here.”

He opens his arms

And you just raise an eyebrow at him

“You mean… you’re gonna fly me?”

“Yeah!” 

He looks so excited

You do not

“I promise, you’ll love it. I know you will because you gave me that look the first time I asked already and then you ended up asking me to go for joyrides every second we had. Now, come on.”

You sigh

Grabbing the food in the little baggies and walking over to him

He wraps his arms around you

And before you can even think of backing out

You’re in the air

And he was right

You do actually kind of love it

“Close your eyes!”

You roll your eyes, but close them anyways 

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t excited to see where he was taking you

You feel your feet touch solid ground again

And you feel Keigo let go of you

Which is kind of upsetting to you because >:( why he let go??

But then he guides you somewhere, and you hear him shuffle away to stand a few feet in front of you

“Okay… open.”

And you do

And you’re honestly shocked

You see a bunch of pictures of you and Keigo

A bunch of little things that are obviously from your relationship

And you just stare at him speechless

“(Y/n) (L/n)… I know you lost your memory, so I present to you all of our memories, but this time in picture and object form. Now this is actually hard for me because it shows that I have a very big heart and I’m not the playboy the tabloids like to make me out to be, but I trust you to know this. Because I fell in love with you, and even though you don’t remember falling in love with me, I’ll do everything I can to make it happen all over again. So, with that being said, will you be my girlfriend, (Y/n)?”

He knew the answer would be yes

But he had to ask just so you remember him asking

You losing your memory was sad

But it wasn’t going to come between the two of you

You were his

And he was yours

Always and forever

todoroki touya | dabi

Dabi got the answers he wanted from Shigaraki

He learned about this new underground hero

And he was READY to find this fucker

After Shigaraki told him everything

He went back to his room

Where you were alone now and hugging your knees to your chest

“What’s wrong, doll, you’re acting like you can’t remember who you are or something.”

Dabi isn’t funny

He knows this

But he copes with shitty jokes

“Ha. That was funny, asshole.”

“I try.”

He goes and grabs his coat

Slipping it on his shoulders

“Are you going somewhere?”

He looks at you

And sees that you’re staring at him

You’re also doing that thing you do when you get upset where you play with your sleeves

“Cheer up, doll. I’ll be right back, I’m just going to find the person who did this to you and get them to fix it before burning them alive.”

“Oh. Well, um… come back soon, I guess.”

He frowns a bit

He knows you must be overwhelmed right now

And yeah, he should stay and comfort you

He does kind of want to

But he also wants to get your memory back

And get your quirk back

And get his doll back in general

He sighs and walks over to you

Placing his hands on top of yours to stop them from moving for ten seconds

“I’ll be right back (Y/n). I promise. I just need to find out who did this to you and get it reversed. I know you just woke up, but I’m sure you’re still pretty exhausted considering you were dying on me a few days ago, so take a nap, alright? And stop sitting like that because I had o stitch you up on your abdomen and I don’t want to have to do it to you while you’re awake because I don’t want to deal with your annoying whining.”

He cares about you

But he still needs to be an ass

You can’t know just how much he’s in love with you

Not yet at least

“Damn, you’re one romantic son of a bitch, huh?”

“Romantic? no. Son of a bitch? Yes. Go to sleep.”

He places a quick kiss to your head

So quick that you question if it even happened

Before he’s out of his room and about to leave the hideout

“And where are you going, Dabi?”

Dabi rolls his eyes at Toga’s nosey tone

“Out.”

“Out? But (Y/n) doesn’t remember anything, I would have thought you’d be in the mood to make her remember. If you know what I mean…”

“You’re one fucked up 17 year old.”

He doesn’t wait to hear her answer before leaving

He figures the easiest way to catch this douche would be to start a fire and wait for the heroes to come 

So that's exactly what he did 

He went to the nearest apartment building and just ignited it without a second thought

And since he’s pissed

It went up in flames fast

And of course everyone knew it was him with his blue fire and all

He wondered how many more innocent people he would add to his death toll with this

But he honestly didn’t care in this moment (like he would care anyways)

All he cared about was getting this new hero on his case so he could fuck them up

And he got exactly what he wanted

Without a doubt

This new hero came onto the scene to stop him

“Dabi.”

Perfect

“Asshole. What did you to (V/n), and how I can undo that.”

The hero laughs

This fucker laughed

“Oh, I blocked the part of their brain that contains their long term memory. They won’t be getting their memory, quirk, andy of that back any time soon.”

Dabi basically growls

Then he gets a brilliant idea

And his snarl turns into a grin

Then a full blown smile

“So you did this to them, which means you can undo it.”

“Yeah, obviously. But I’m never doing that, so-”

This new hero really loves to talk

And this new hero also really underestimated what Dabi could do when he was pissed off

The next thing that happens is this heroes legs are on fire

Like just burning up

And of course this bitch can’t move

Just screaming

Because OW

LEGS ON FIRE

The last thing he sees before Dabi knocks him unconscious is Dabi’s laughing face too

Talk about terrifying

Lucky for our hero, Dabi put out the flames and then transports him back to the hideout 

When back, Dabi ties him up

Waiting for him to wake the fuck up so they can fix this mess

And equally as ready to have some fun when this hero refuses to do what he tells him to

“Who’s this?”

He turns to you

You look like you just woke up as a big yawn breaks out after you ask and you rub your eyes

“This is the fucker that broke you. He’s also gonna be the fucker that fixes you.”

“Wow. You got him real fast.”

“Damn right I did.”

“Sounds like you’re pretty damn soft for me.”

“Fuck off.”

He fights back the smile that wants to spread out across his face when he hears your sleepy giggle

But he does not fight pulling you into his arms for a hug

He needs that right now

“You smell like burning flesh and pine needles.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

The two of you are interrupted by a groan coming from our lovely hero

Dabi’s head immediately snaps towards him

And the hero nearly shits himself when he realizes where he is

“Look who decided to wake up.”

The hero is just kinda quiet

Just staring wide eyed at the two of you

He’s also staring at the rest of the league excitedly watching to see what was about to happen

“What’s wrong? You were so happy to talk earlier.”

Dabi’s voice is full of venom

Literally with every word he is seething

The hero just kinda opens his mouth to say something, but nothing comes out

“Eh, whatever. Your voice makes me homicidal anyways. Besides, we only need your hands, so get to work.”

Dabi grabs your arm and walks forward with you

And this is when hero man finally gets a voice

“You’re crazy if you think I’m restoring their quirk!”

“Well I’m not exactly sane, tough guy. And if you don’t restore their memory and their quirk I’ll make sure I burn every limb of yours so bad so you can no longer use ‘em but you’re still alive and useless until I finally take pity and watch as you burn to death.”

“Oh! Oh! Can we make s’mores with him?”

“Shut up, Toga.”

Dabi lightly pushes you towards the hero before grabbing the ropes that are securing his hands and burning them

And yes

This did leave a mark on the guy’s wrists

“Now, fix this. And don’t even think about killing them because if you do, I’ll make sure it takes at least 10 years for you to slowly succumb to your injuries.”

Dabi smiles at him before leaning in to whisper in his ear

“And I’ll make sure your family is there to watch, Takeda Toru. Oh, and don’t worry, I won’t forget about your girlfriend either. She’ll be the first to go.”

The fear that flashed on this man’s face caused Dabi to cackle

And sure enough it did the job

Who said diabolical threatening couldn’t get you what you wanted?

You collapse after a few quick jabs from the hero

And Dabi catches you

He frowns when he sees your unconscious face

“What did you do to them.”

“I undid it! I swear! Their brain is just resetting they’ll be out for a little while!”

Dabi makes a grunting noise

“For your sake I hope you’re telling the truth.”

He then knocks the hero out again

And takes you to his room

He was just hoping it didn’t take as long as it did for you to wake up the first time

And good news

It didn’t 

You actually woke up after about two and a half hours

“Touya? What the hell happened? Why am I in your favorite hoodie, you love to make sure I don’t wear this because you’re a dick.”

He just stares at you for a moment

“Hello? Earth to burnt popcorn, did I like almost die or something?”

Your memory was obviously back

It just seemed like you had a gap where you couldn’t remember what happened when you had amnesia

And honestly he can live with that

And imagine your shock when he tackles you in a hug and kisses you like you could disappear at any moment

“Welcome back, doll.”

He explains what happened

And then you get pissed

“That fucker took my memory?!”

“Yeah, he did.”

You sulk for a second before looking at your boyfriend

“Can I kill him?”

“Only if I can help.”

“Deal.”

[the-golden-ghost]

Character bingo: Goemon and Spamton

Okay first off I'd like to preface this by saying these two interacting would be THE funniest duo of all time and what's even better is that there's absolutely nothing in the Lupin III verse that would preclude Spamton from being there. Like a used car salesman who was cursed to be a horrible little puppet and now spends his days trying to convince people to help him steal a robotic body that will allow him to transcend and become God? Sounds only 65% as weird as most plotlines on the show tbh.

THAT SAID:

For Mr. Goemon Ishikawa XIII:

I'm the only one who knows anything about them: MODERN WRITERS STOP FUCKING UP HIS CHARACTER CHALLENGE! Let him be arrogant and snarky and self-important and stubborn and a really bad samurai who only convinces his friends that he's a Great Samurai because he can do fancy sword tricks and literally none of them know what a samurai is! Let him be funny and sometimes have the brain cell but also sometimes very NOT! Let him be a bastard who sells out his friends for one corn chip while proclaiming he'd never do such a thing and then turning around and walking through the fires of hell for them just to keep them guessing! Let him be good at video games! Come on!

pathetic wet cat of a man: He hangs out with Lupin and Jigen so he seems the least Wet Cat by comparison but make no mistake. He is a Wet Cat. In his soul

they could've been such a great character handled differently: This is true of every Lupin character in some way though and is really YMMV depending on which installment you're watching etc.

they have done nothing wrong, ever, in their life: (JOKE) I don't like when people have this Take about him in earnest but if you say it ironically it's very funny. He should be allowed to steal and vandalize and kill. As a treat <3

Autism™ : Diagnosing everyone I've done so far with this as is right and proper

will somebody give them a fucking hug etc: the answer is yes and he will get one when he gets home :) His family loves him! I love that <3

they could pour soup in my lap: UNTOUCHABLY cool guy even if he's secretly a Huge Dork

based: YES

There's nothing going on behind those eyes <3: He joined the clown brigade! He knew what he was getting into!

For Mr. Spamton G. Spamton:

If I Met Them I'd Beat Them Up (affectionate): And I wouldn't pay him for it either! Flinging him into the core of the sun as we speak! Get Fuckt Puppet Boy!

Pathetic Wet Cat: He thinks he's hot shit but he is in fact THE most Pathetic Wet Cat I think we've met on the game to date. And we've met ROUXLS.

Anti-Blorb. Thinking of him constantly and I hate it: Fuck! He got into my brain! Horrid little man! But yeah I REALLY like to Rotate this guy. Lots to Unpack there.

AGSADHSJHGDSGFJDHGFDJ etc: You know how it is

Autism™: He sure does

Genuinely what the fuck: ~Me, when he popped out of that fucking dumpster for the first time

Will somebody please give them a hug: In Spite of Everything I do actually want him to experience self-acceptance, affection, inner peace etc. I mean this guy has never really had any approval in his whole LIFE except when he was being manipulated by an outside force! People only love him when he's not in control of himself! The minute he steps back and the mask comes off he's rejected and discarded! It's horrible!

there's nothing going on behind those eyes <3: AGAIN he thinks he is a Brilliant Manipulator but the deadass ONLY reason anyone helps him is out of A). Morbid Curiosity or B). Pity and literally no other reason like he is SO blatant about his Evil Plans it's very funny

I mean technically it worked though! But not for the reasons HE thinks dgshgdjfgjdfgdjfhd

[whateverthedragonswant]

As promised, I'm pestering you with my brain mush. Humour me, please. Maybe I'll have to split into 2 asks, sorry.

That whole exchange between Ramon and Eddie hit very hard, and I don't think I'm really ready to compare notes with my own experience, even if it'd help. I'm just saying that for all we have witnessed until 5x17, it's not Ramon who has pressured and hurt Eddie so much, but Helena. Except that Eddie, with Buck, pointedly blames only his father for being the fucked up one, not Helena or the combination. Just Ramon. It's not that he has this good of a relationship with his mother, either, or that Abuela and Pepa have, for what I've seen in 5x17....It's almost as if the three of them teamed together to mock her. It was weird, and awkward.

Helena and the cooking was another weird bit: if that need for control was put there, I don't think it was only for comedic relief. Everything means something, like Rowena would say...Ramon wanted caterers,but Helena only allowed them to reheat things. She needed to be in control.

Which I'd say, it's another freaking trait of Eddie 1.0 personality, the one that always needs to be in control for Christopher. Can we think for a moment that Ramon was probably around just some days a month? And that it was Helena's constant presence to influence Eddie? We know for a fact that both Pepa and Abuela have a splendid rapport with Eddie...and how could've Isabel managed to fuck Ramon up if she is such a good-hearted woman?! We don't know about her husband, but if he had been so much of a trouble, probably something would've slipped. Finally, we know that Isabel is back in El Paso. Why? For his son?

Let's go back to The Real Fucked Up Family Blueprint™, aka The Buckleys. As I have already written, it always stayed with me the feeling that everything, every fucked up decision was stemming from Margaret, not Philip. Margaret didn't go to hospitals, Margaret didn't want to keep Daniel's stuff, Margaret was the first to yell and the one to never try to reach back, Margaret was the one to cut Maddie out to teach her a lesson, and the worst words come out from Margaret's mouth. Philip sort of....goes with it? He kept Daniel's bike, for fuck's sake! How much was he convinced of this whole charade, and how much he was simply going along with his wife's demands? How much was his mind, and how much was he the "do what your mother told you" kind of father?

What if Eddie was throwing punches at himself? What if that rage was his own punishment? He was trying "not to be like Ramon", and he was always angry. I would think more logical that he was trying to be like Ramon, and that was the reason to set off his rage. But he was trying his whole life, I suppose after Shannon's pregnancy, when he stepped from the role of son into the role of father, not to be like Ramon. And this thing enraged and hurt him more, punishing himself, not Ramon.

What I am wondering now is: was really Ramon the real shadow looming over Eddie's unhappiness and repression, or was it his mother? How much is Ramon really a free agent, and how much he simply obeys Helena? How much of Helena's sternness and harshness towards Shannon reflected some kind of not-accepting behavior from her husband's family? Some fucked up wall she probably repeated onto Shannon, maybe unconsciously? How much her need to be in control of everything reflects the fact that she run a household alone, with three kids, no husband, and a mother-in-law who probably didn't like her? Just wondering. I have no answers, I admit.

Finally. That"I was punishing myself more" kinda shocked me. How could a young, angry Eddie, be punishing himself by being angry at his father? We are not talking about repression, about putting on the facade his father was asking him. That was hurting himself. We are talking about RAGE. It was the rage the punishment for Eddie. Which got me thinking about the Fight Club...the whole "maybe you were throwing punches at the wrong guy" talk. How Buck made it all about himself, but Buck is an unreliable narrator because he does blames himself for everything.

I think it's definitely more complicated than we witnessed, and that they left us out of some important missing piece.

Edit: OMG my drafts and asks are back! Finally! So sorry for the delay!!!

Hey @trickster-archangel! No worries at all, send me as many asks as you would like. =)

Ooh yeah, this was definitely an interesting development for Eddie to watch this episode. I'll be honest with you, I'm very Anti-Diaz parents myself and Anti-Buckleys, and I tend to view the interactions with Eddie and Maddie and Buck respectively through my own lens based on my own experiences. So for the relationship between Ramon and Eddie to shift in this seismic way, well, honestly it felt off to me a little. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm happy for Eddie but at the same time, it just felt like Ramon was let off of the hook a bit too easily. Especially since they put the obvious parallels between them in their story lines this season, in order to justify Eddie finally burying that hatchet because he can now identify with Ramon while also being true to who he is and putting himself first.

And if that felt out of sorts, the whole ignoring of Helena being an issue was baffling. I get that they wanted Eddie and Ramon to reconcile, but to me, you don't say things to your son like "Don't drag him down with you" and attempt to guilt and manipulate him into giving you your grandson and the next time you see each other, it's all sunshine and rainbows. I think you're very spot on with the observations you made regarding her and her need for control.

I remember when watching 3x15 and 2x18, thinking 'man, Ramon is like the enforcer but it's at Helena's prodding.' I mean, even in 2x18, you can see how Ramon seems to go on Helena's cue, when she brings up Christopher now that Shannon is gone. Ramon stops and apologizes (after he makes the comment about Shannon) when she gives him a look. The whole thing read as one big pile of manipulation to me, one that had been pre-planned. And I think the show absolutely meant to show us that because they kept those shots in to show us how Helena and Ramon exchanged looks throughout.

(I seriously love that actress that plays Helena btw, she does an incredible job)

And this scene is purely Helena:

I think it all comes down to what you suggested. And I'm going to take that and run with it if you don't mind: Eddie has more anger towards his father because Ramon was never around, because Ramon put too much on his shoulders, because the responsibility was put on him at such a young age. And no matter what he does, it's never good enough for Ramon. Which is an interesting contrast if you compare it to Shannon. As Ramon says so inappropriately at 2x18, she ran out on Christopher. So you would think that Eddie would have some major anger towards her as well. He does but we also see him attempting to have empathy and to understand her side of things, not only because he loved her but also because he had run too, in the beginning after Christopher was born, re-upping without telling her. As far as we know, Helena didn't leave in any way, shape, or form, and now that we know that story about what happened when she went into labor with Adriana, it's obvious that Eddie took the responsibility very seriously like Ramon intended him to, but it's also due to Helena. Did she tell him to go get the car? No. But why didn't she have an option in place? For someone to be called in Ramon's stead to help her not only get to the hospital but to make sure Eddie was looked after? (and Sophia if she was born then, idr the sequence of the sisters tbh) I'm not saying everyone has this plan in place before labor occurs but why did she say "of course, I thought he was going to call someone to drive us to the hospital"? It wasn't his responsibility. It was hers. She was the only parent (and adult) present. This wasn't her first rodeo when her water broke. Yes, Eddie might have reacted too fast for her to stop him but by that line of dialogue, it's clear she also put that responsibility on him, too.

That whole scene just makes me sick to my stomach to be honest. "Ramon's prized pickup" and she keeps looking to Ramon as she tells the story. Only the end "he was trying to drive me to the hospital" with her semi-proud expression redeems her in this exchange. But sure enough, when Eddie starts to react, "it's just a story". Helena is an absolute moving part to this whole situation. While the show may have moved her responsibility to the side in favor of Eddie coming to terms with Ramon, there is absolutely zero possibility that Eddie wasn't parentified (and I would even argue spousified) by her as well when Ramon wasn't around. And it doesn't negate her manipulation tactics in 2x18 and 3x15. She absolutely led the charge in both of those scenes, Ramon was like her pitbull, there to back her up and attack when needed. So I think it's interesting that the show chose to change up the dynamics here slightly.

But it does make me wonder if like Shannon, Eddie is willing to forgive Helena because they were in it together so to speak. And because Ramon was the one that left and stayed away. No matter the reason he was doing it, he wasn't around. And when he did come back, he was the enforcer again ("you grounded me actually"). Annnnd I do wonder if the show chose to focus on Ramon because of the fact that when we get Eddie's back story in 3x15, he is doing exactly as Ramon had done. He joined the military to provide for his family, he had accidentally gotten Shannon pregnant and needed to provide. So he did what he viewed as the right thing, he married her and joined the army. The same reasons Ramon was away on business so much. Helena had Eddie and then Adriana (and Sophia wherever she comes in) so he had to continue to provide. And since this season is about Eddie and him choosing what he wants for himself, to follow his own heart (btw I read this INCREDIBLE post by someone on this site stating this is why Christopher hasn't been too present this back half of the season, even this episode, if I find it again I have to reblog it, it's so good), I think that's why they chose to hone in on Ramon in last week's episode. That's why they gave Ramon and Eddie the parallels they did: the fake heart attack, the feeling useless when their professional lives have changed, etc. Because they were completely overhauling who Eddie was from the beginning of his story (even though we don't see this side of him until 3x15). I think they wanted to show the progress he's made and how far he has actually come from who Ramon is. Even though we saw he was nothing like Ramon by the time we meet him in the show and we learn about Christopher, Eddie had to realize it himself. Which brings us back to the point you made about Eddie being angry with himself.

I think you are right on the money when it comes to Eddie having so much anger and like you said throwing punches at himself. Because he was basically fighting a shadow, Ramon's shadow, and he sort of got away from it by moving out of Texas buttttt he didn't 100% because he was always seeing that shadow when he looked in the mirror. And I think you're right, there's still an important missing piece. Plus, last we saw, Ramon and Helena still weren't satisfied that Christopher was with Eddie (2x18) so suddenly they are cool with it? After doing everything they can to manipulate Eddie to get him to give Christopher to them and/or move back home? I get that they kept Christopher out of this episode because it was about Eddie and his arc, but it's weird they resolved things with Eddie and Ramon like this without having that brought back up again. Because that's definitely part of the shadow (Ramon's part anyway) and what Eddie has been working against this whole time, who he is as a father vs Ramon and if it's enough (or right) for Christopher. So things can't really be 100% resolved between Eddie and Ramon (and especially Eddie and Helena) until the Christopher issue is resolved. So, I do think they will need to circle back at some point for that for it to be more fully rounded if that makes sense.

And that whole "I was punishing myself more" line shocked me, too. Though, I kind of get what he's saying, but still how unfair to himself. Like you mentioned, how much of that shadow looming over him is Ramon vs Helena? Either way, it's their shadow, Eddie didn't ask for it. So, I was taken aback with that one, too.

Sorry, I hope this all kind of makes sense. Due to the Tumblr issue, I was kind of all over the place. Thank you for the ask and for your patience! I hope you have a great rest of your night!!! <3

[charlesemersonwinchesteriii]

hi apologies this is the only way I can publish this ask due to Functional Website. sorry to answer this so late I unironically had to take a few weeks to decide if this was simply too cringe to post publicly. thanks for your understanding. anyways:

I’m assuming this is in response to these tags but how funny would it be if you’d just sent me this based solely on my Vibes?

Ok Anon I’m going to have to curtail my obnoxious gushing to you here because there’s already so much ranting to do in this post, so let me just straight up tell you it was extremely sexy of you to ask me this and you should def hmu if you’re single and also not put off by the following insanity.

That said, let’s get into it. First off, important notes:  

1) I should stress that this is Fake News FPF (Fake Person Fiction), not RPF. There’s a whole post to be made about the whole FPF concept (hey boys! commit to the concept next time! using your real names for your weird improv skit characters makes everything weird and uncomfortable for the rest of us!) but the gist of it is that no, this is not about any Real Live People (TM), this is about the Funny Characters created for the Funny TV Show. Blustery closeted drama queen Stephen, mild-mannered totally unfazed Jon, incompetent unhinged idiot Steve, etc. The Colbert Report, not The Late Show. You get it. Moving on.

2) The phrasing of this question gave me an absolutely wonderful vision of like, a version of SPN where the Winchesters are going around doing all their bullshit and meanwhile the cast of The Daily Show are just in the background commenting on it all and maybe John Oliver gets incidentally murdered by a ghoul at some point. This is the funniest thing on earth but unfortunately back when I made this my kid brain was just going to town in weird ways so when I say “Jon Stewart was there” I mean I decided it would be cool if he fought the fucking devil.

And now it’s readmore time, because I’m assuming the general public has no desire to get into this any further. One day I will have to answer to mobile users for my sins. Mea Culpa.

So idk if you know this but the TV show Supernatural was actually originally called Unnatural and the original concept for the show had a reporter going to investigate urban legends. Wow, I said, watching season 5, I’m so glad they didn’t go with that idea. Wow, I said again later, watching season 10, I wish they’d fucking gone with that idea, because I hate this show so m—

So in my AU Jon Stewart is a reporter going to investigate urban legends and it’s super cool!!! And he learns all about Hunters and goes from being a hapless civilian in need of saving to a badass fighter who uses his quick wits to defeat monsters!! He has a whole arc full of character development!! Can you IMAGINE.

But it’s not just him! I put in a bunch of correspondents and other assorted characters from TDS and TCR and gave them different roles and wasted my entire youth. Like Stephen Colbert is an angel because he’s a religious fanatic and comes from a cruel repressive environment and is kind of a dick. Steve Carell is a demon because I wanted an excuse for the other characters to be mean to him and make him cry. John Oliver is a witch because he looks like Harry Potter. I thought everything out perfectly.

Anyways I obviously created full seasons’ worth of plotlines, rearranging and changing stuff from SPN canon to make it more fitting and also less terrible and also, of course, gay. BUT we’re not going into all of that here we’re going to try to answer something resembling your question.

So I think the plotline that’s the most fun from Jon’s POV is definitely defeating the Horseman Pestilence because in my version it starts with an exciting quest to get the Staff of Moses (criminally and kind of insultingly underused in the original SPN btw like it was there for one ep and they CUT IT INTO PIECES???) which he then uses to subdue Pestilence to get the ring and also heal everyone in the hospital and also accidentally cover the surrounding area in a (no longer) endangered species of tree frog. Very successful adventure all around, although at the end of it the Staff turns into a snake and slithers away because sorry Jon, can’t let you have that extremely OP item until you really need it again…….

My favorite plotline, though not Jon’s as he is miserable during it, is my retelling of the s8 closing the gates of hell arc, because the SPN writers dropped so many balls in that one that it turned into a hilariously fun ballpit for me to play in. But that whole thing would take A WHILE to explain so I can’t inflict it on the world unless explicitly asked.

So yeah none of this actually answered your question that I’m sure you regret asking at this point. Sorry about that :( You did give me a chance to talk about this idea I’ve been obsessing over on and off for years on end though so uh, wow, thank you for that! Thanks. Means a lot. I am going to end this post now before I say something insane to you. You SHOULD hmu later tho if you’re still out there. Could be fun. Could be soulmates. Carry on my wayward anon!

[meandmyechoes]

Ahsoka/Feral development bible. (Disclaimer: IT'S CRACK)

Their ship name is Fireworks. Because it's a one time, brilliant passion, but it wouldn't last. Violence is a gentle expression. It's also where they meet.

Ahsoka is Ojouuchan change. my. mind.

Her cat hates him

Feral drinks Respect Women™ Juice

I may write that TCW trio vs Sith Trio matsuri rivalry just to flesh out

Like, this is basically a high-school au

In a completely unorigianl way, Feral finally saved up money/get bullied enough to take up self-defense classes and Ahsoka is the sensei's DAUGHTER that cliche trope and proceed to captivate him in a new angle he's never seen before (She craves violence) [still dancing on this origin story/second meeting]

Ahsoka likes him because he builds up his confidence little by little around her, and she learns a little more about him every day, but mostly because he has that spark of courage (and a loyal brother)

For Feral is love at first sight (because I too, would propse to Ahsoka in a kimono on sight), but he couldn't quite word his feelings. So Ahsoka would be taking the initiative to tease him playfully (to befriend that lonely, hard-working boy at first). But once Feral is sure of something, he is unstoppably fiery. His favourite trait of Ahsoka is her laughter. He would so make her little crafts and trinkets from scrap metal on his 11 part-time jobs, hesistant and only flattered when Ahsoka likes it all the same.

I just… so fucking soft?? It's a puppy love and a summer daydream.

Them sparring 👀👀👀 pencak silat

Omg their first date = beat the shit out of each other… that's a fucking good idea… that i give myself maybe one more day to come up…

Hmmm I should shove that first kiss in the same fic just to cut some work but i think it'd happen a little later after several more dates.

Meeting extended family… yes… delicious comedy

The idea of Ahsoka pretending to be civil in front of Maul for Feral's sake while Savage looks left and right like he hates the Jedi too but also want Feral to be happy and Murder NOT happen at the dinner table, sends

The Jedi absolutely despises the Sith clan and by extension thinks little of this weird Nightbrother trio on the edge of town. Mostly they just ignore them if Maul stay out of trouble. They have all the wrong assumptions about Feral, who is patient to answer their interrogation enquiries and masking panic at his best for Ahsoka's sake. But don't you talk shit about 90% of his clan on the narrow and straight

I just realize it's practically Romeo and Juliet too?? Not where I was going but oh god. (of all things my brain said Anakin vs. Savage brawl first)

I used to think they're like, 20 and 18 here. (now I need them to celebrate a sweet birthday!) They could be older but age isn't really relevant in this case.

Their break-up in the (fake) rain. The last make-up kiss before they go fight (each other) in the War™ BIG KRIFFING YES

That cliched open ending with them rekindling as military cadets… 😏

※※※※※※※※※※

Season Part. 2.

I think I definitely model their relationship after somebody i couldn't pinpoint, but from muliple pairs and characters, when they are in different situations. For example, t r a i n i n g is synonymous to Yumi and Ulrich for me, so yeah, I be copying the entire scene for them.

I did went back to watch Feral's one episode and he's so off from fanon it's bewildering. He had six lines. Well, he had Finn Abernathy vibes in this. I wrote him to be home-loving, incredibly loyal and determined. (maybe the last two traits are where they coincide, hmmm) His flaw would be his reservation. He is not shy by nature (lol supported by canon dialogue) but semi-aware of his fragility from trusting too easily. You just don't wanna open up after you've been through too much. Ah yes, so everything will be too late except that time he took the leap. He probably weren't a favourite child being the shortest and weakest compared to his big bros. He is not as gifted as them but he can certainly fight when he puts his heart in it. He just doesn't believe in casual violence as a convenience.

Ahsoka is the wildcard here because how do I juggle Ojouuchan and her canon snippyness? For one thing she'd be a full fledge Jedi Knight here—

…and that's about the only thing I kept from canon lmao.

In this au, the Jedi could be a little lax with dating and stuff but i don't think they're that strict and swift to shut down in canon as well. Most likely due to its short-livedness and multiple people covering for her the high council won't find out haha.

I think they both know it wouldn't be a long-term thing (when you're young three months sounds an incredulously long time already), sometimes you just need to make a stupid decision and run with it. So it wouldn't really be an issue, Ahsoka leaving the Order and all. They both know they just weren't this exclusive* thing and they will both choose their clan/faith/family over each other. (Re: Dark Disciple)

I avoided so far but they have to get into arguments. Not the taylor brb crying kind… (because they ARE adults), but the 'well if you don't trust me maybe you should send me back kind' haha. Well I don't know what adult arguments look like but they be having so many little brawls and make up immediately the next day? i seriously don't know.

They shared this fundamental patriotism but to different allegiance. They are both determined and comapssionate, but in different ways. And it is this diverged p.o.v. that stem from a mutual care that sparks their arguments. I don't have concrete debates yet but as a healthy story little bits of disagreement need to be sprinkled before the catalyst of war finally drives them apart.

Some songs:

Uchiage Hanabi duh.

Long Live how could i write romance without taylor swift?

Mine too, maybe, and I do think of Wildest Dreams.

※※※※※※※※※※

Part 3.

This is really what the original Part 2 is. The reunion. I want to write the angsty part of it, but i kind of already did with the dialogues… idk there are flashes of frames in me head but to novelize it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) i'm lazy and i don't want to do the work ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

essentially this is a forever clone wars au, or the war would have to drag on longer than three years at least. Palpatine won but Order 66 happened on a much smaller scale? or just Sith!soka? ¯\_ (ツ)_/¯

Damn I will jump at any chance to write Sithsoka…

But really both Rebel!Feral and Sith!Feral has potential. On one hand, I could give him what he always pursued, in a convoluted way, that he found a new home, just in time for it to be taken away, so he must continue fighting. On the other hand, Sith!Feral finally accomplished what was expected for him, claimed his "bloodline" and he can't deny the creeping pride it has to fully embrace his heritage. He would like to be more powerful to protect, but there's always a more efficient method than mass killings. He's more interested in building a Sith Empire…

[bmp-slbp-matchup]

Headcanons: Kotaro & Mini Sasuke

Kotaro’s way of talking to Sasuke and him constantly pointing out that he is “little” encouraged me to write about my headcanons which I had harbored in my brain about what their relationship would be like, if Kotaro wasn’t hostile towards the Takeda/Sanada Clan and would meet Sasuke (like Kiyohiro does).

At first, Sasuke would be a bit distant, but after seeing Kotaro more frequently, he would warm up to him more. However they would be still not close to each other, as Kotaro wouldn’t see any reason to talk to the kid and Sasuke would prefer to talk to the others instead. So at first they would simply exist to each other.

That is, until one day Saizo and Yukimura again decide to leave Sasuke alone who is of course really bored without them. He sees Kotaro around and decides to approach him bc that’s what children do when bored.

Sasuke first tries to start a conversation, asking Kotaro lots of questions that stem from his boredom which get answered in a normal manner. Finding it unusual that the child talks to him, Kotaro asks some things back which makes Sasuke really happy and see him as a friend.

This gives him the idea to ask Kotaro to train with him since the men that would usually do that aren’t around and also he thinks they are friends now.

Kotaro for his part is super confused, like at first the kid comes to him out of nowhere, starts talking to him and ask him questions and now he asks him to train with him?  “You want me to train you?” he would ask to which Sasuke would simply nod. 

Kotaro doesn’t strongly dislike Sasuke and sees this plea as the continuation of their conversation, so there is no reason for him to refuse. Sasuke again is very happy. 

At first it is a weird situation and Kotaro doesn’t really know what to do, watching Sasuke being absolutely eager and super cheerful while he himself still just is like “???”. However he then notices that Sasuke is waiting for him to teach him something and thanks to him participating so keenly, things work. 

Training with Kotaro is different to Sasuke: He isn’t as rigorous as Yukimura and doesn’t exhaust him with fitness exercises too much, but focuses more on tactics. He also isn’t like Saizo either and doesn’t challenge him with sarcastic remarks, but is rather neutral about everything. Whenever Sasuke does something wrong, Kotaro simply tries to teach him again or show him other tricks, corrects his stance etc. and when he gets frustrated because he isn’t good at something or just can’t get the hang of it, showing his anger, Kotaro once again is like “???”. Instead of provoking him further or motivating/comforting him, he choses to just try to understand him by asking questions. “Are you exhaused now?” “What exactly causes the problem?” “Do you want to try something else now?”

Sasuke’s training experiences would be positive because a different point of view would help him develop his skills further in different aspects, so he wouldn’t be as sad when Saizo and Yukimura are busy anymore, as long as he could train with Kotaro instead. 

Kotaro wouldn’t be as strongly reluctant to train with Sasuke as Saizo is, and provided that he has time to spare and does feel like it, Sasuke wouldn’t ever really have to convince or beg him to train with him. Otherwise he would just explain to him why it isn’t possible. However children aren’t always understanding, so when Sasuke would urge him or be like “Okay, then next time, promise?” Kotaro would be super surprised™ like why is this child so persistent about this???

Kotaro probably wouldn’t ever feel responsible for Sasuke and care for his raising, but if he did, he wouldn’t do that as strongly as Yukimura does when it comes to manners. However I can totally see him rebuke him veeeeeery slightly, if Sasuke used swearwords.

JUST THINK ABOUT IT; FUMA-SENSEI AND LITTLE SASUKE AND SCREAM AND CRY WITH ME

[enigma-the-mysterious]

Actually you know what? I will try not to be sarcastic and answer you in good faith. So here is a non-comprehensive list of issues I have with Temple of Doom:

The racism. Oh my god the fucking racism. It's like the makers asked themselves "what's the most stereotypical stereotypes we can apply for this movie?" and went wild with that. The savage brown people eating gorilla brains? Bad Native Cultists performing human sacrifices? The old mystic Indian dude? What?!

The parroting of British colonial propaganda. Yes you read that right. The thuggees were actually a lot more complex than "lol they were the bad guys". Yes you read that right too. Were they highway robbers with no qualms about killing people? Yes. Were they also one of the first groups to actively resist the British? Also yes. So of course the British stood to gain in more than one ways by eradicating them. If you think that the British hunted them down from the goodness of their heart because they cared about the natives.....lol. Pick up a history book. They decimated a very real threat to their empire and used it as propaganda to paint themselves in a good light.

I mean there's this whole line in the movie:

Chattarlal: The thuggee cult has been dead for nearly a century

Blumburtt: Of course, Thuggee was an obscenity that worshipped Kali with human sacrifices. The British Army wiped them out

Yeah. How heroic. Brave British Eradicating a Horrible Native Cult to Save the people.[Victorious Fanfare]

In fact, this entire movie smells like one of those propaganda pamphlets circulated in the Pre Independence Era. Just look at the character of Chattarlal. From the very beginning, he is clearly shown to be anti British with his underhanded jibes and backhanded compliments. Throughout the dinner scene he is practically seething at the British officer. And why shouldn't he? He cannot live as a free man in his own country. Yet, the narrative paints him in an evil light. Of course he makes slaves of children because how else are you supposed to sympathise with the neutral "good" protagonists? He must do something really really Bad™ to make the British Colonisers appear like the lesser of the two evils. So should the Thuggees under Mola Ram because strip away their evil practices and they are essentially just an army of resistance against the colonial forces. So, at the end of the day, when the British Army comes to the rescue of Indiana Jones and Co., guns blazing and shooting down the Bad Brown Native Freedom Fighters Cultists, you are cheering for the colonisers and not the people they are subjugating. Because the brown people are Bad and deserve to be put down by the Heroic white dudes.

The White Saviour Trope. Do I really need to say more on this? It irritates me at the best of times but to apply it in a story set in British colonial times? When the British were systematically and actively committing cultural and actual genocide? Please give me a fucking break.

And finally the thing that gets me the most as a Shakt Hindu? The depiction of Kali. What the fuckity fucking hell fuck was that?! Whatever that was sure as hell wasn't Kali! You know the epithet that goes before her name? It's Ma. Mother. She is our mother. She is Ma Kali. We are her children. She loves her children. No she is NOT evil. No, her followers are NOT weird cultists. She is one of the most complex figures in Hindu mythology and her lore is so much more complicated than a "Goddess of X thing." Every time her name is uttered in the movie, it is with contempt and fear. If you have no previous exposure to Hindu mythology, you would think that she is a demon or a similar entity of evil. Fuck that. And what was that weird Western patriarchal narrative with this artificial conflict between the Good Male God (Shiva) and the Evil Goddess (Kali)?? (They are spouses for God's sake) None of the rituals depicted make any sense. Henchmen doing some weird belly dance?? Voodoo dolls??!! I mean, sure this is fiction, you can take some creative license. But this is an actual religion and culture you are appropriating and bastardizing. Where is the fucking shred of respect??

So in conclusion, fuck Temple of Doom and Fuck the Indiana Jones franchise as a whole. He is a fucking grave robber anyway.

I was once again reminded of the existence of Temple of Doom and now I want to cut a bitch. Preferable if that bitch's name is Steven Spielberg