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legolasbadass · 3 years ago

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Heart of Gold, Chapter 17

Characters: Thorin, Dis, Thrain, Dwalin, Balin, Original Characters

Relationship: Thorin x OC

Setting: Post Azanulbizar, Pre Quest of Erebor

Notes: Hi everyone! I hope you're all well and safe! Here I am fulfilling my promise to deliver this chapter within a much more reasonable time frame 😂 Just looking at the outline for this chapter, I knew it would be too long, so I had to cut it in two. Can you guess what happened next? That's right, I still made the first part, i.e. this chapter (which was supposed to be really short), into a long chapter. I'm doomed to never finish this story lol I still hope you can forgive me for that, and I do think there's a specific (long) moment in this chapter that some of you will particularly enjoy. In other words, explicit 18+ content coming your way ;) I also just want to say a massive thank you for all your lovely comments/messages. Every one of them warms my heart and fuels this story! 💙💙

This is the 17th chapter to my Thorin Oakenshield fan fiction, Heart of Gold, which can be read in full on ao3. Go check it out there to read from the start! Please consider liking or reblogging if you enjoyed this chapter or if you are enjoying the story so far!

Word Count: 5329

It was one of those fine Spring mornings where the air was cool but full of promises for sunshine and warmth, with birds singing overhead and rodents running around the trees, leaving traces on the still-damp earth.

Dania looked around, holding onto her wicker basket, then ventured away from the path and deeper into the forest. These woods did not go very far, and there was a stream somewhere ahead; she could hear the soft splashing of water over limestone rocks. Once she would reach the brook, she would turn around and retrace her steps. Even without this indicator, Dania doubted she could get lost. After all, Thorin had taught her how to find her way, either by remembering the natural features of the land or by following the orientation of the sun and stars.

Though the trees were denser outside the path, the sun still made herself known.* On either side of Dania, the lower branches curved, creating a vaulted ceiling, speckled with small, cautious buds reaching out for light. Small flowers were beginning to bloom. Dania recognized daffodils and Lily of the Valley, but others were foreign to her. One colourful bush in particular caught her attention, and she bent down to examine it when she became aware of a faint sound, like the cracking of branches, growing nearer.

Someone was coming.

Slowly, she unsheathed her knife, the one Thorin had forged, and stood ready to defend herself. Grasping it tightly, she tried to think critically. These woods were safe. Whoever was walking nearby would not be a threat. The footsteps were drawing closer to her, however, as though they were searching for her. When at last the branches separating her and the unknown presence rustled, Dania raised her knife, but there was no need to worry.

Her heart could not help but beat faster when his imposing figure emerged from the thicket. He wore his simple grey-blue tunic and black trousers with a silver belt wrapped around his waist, from which hung his sword.

"I must learn to announce myself from a greater distance, or else I might never recover from your attack," Thorin said with a teasing smirk.

Smiling, she shook her head and sheathed the dagger back into its scabbard. "How did you know I was here?"

"I followed your tracks," he said as he took another step and closed the distance between them, forcing her to drop her basket as his arms wrapped themselves around her waist. Despite everything, she felt herself relaxing in his hold.

"And how did you know it was me?" she asked as her hands rested on his chest, the heat emanating from him completely chasing away the morning's chill.

"Your feet are smaller, and lighter . . . and you were not in your tent," he said, his voice becoming even deeper as his gaze fell to her mouth.

"Are you spying on me now?" Dania bit her lips enticingly, inciting a low groan from him. Her whole body tingled in response.

"Aye, and a good thing too," he said as he brought his lips closer to hers so that she could feel his hot breath fanning her cheeks, "young ladies should not be out in the woods alone."

"But they can be in the woods with a strange Dwarf without a chaperone?" she said teasingly.

"It would only be inappropriate if this strange Dwarf did this," he said, his lips brushing against her own before devouring them, cutting off any air so that he became the source that gave her life. "And this," he added, allowing her to take a breath before he kissed her again, even more passionate and desperate than before, his tongue exploring her mouth like a pilgrim searching for a sacred treasure.

A soft moan escaped her lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him even closer to her so that her breasts were flat against his chest. Even that did not seem to be enough. Thorin's hands pressed into her back, pulling her toward him and grasping at the soft flesh beneath her woollen dress. Everything about Ester and her schemes disappeared from Dania's mind as she let her One and his reassuring presence carefully heal the cracks in her heart.

They were finally together. They were finally alone. But she needed air.

Reluctantly, she pulled away but remained safely in his arms, allowing him to rest his forehead against hers as the adoration shining in his deep blue eyes filled her vision. Like Dania, Thorin was panting, his mouth slightly open, and his cheeks tainted with a blush that would have disclosed their secret passion to anyone.

Smiling to herself at the sight, Dania caressed his bearded cheek. "Will you teach me?"

"Hmm?" Thorin hummed, then smirked as he brought his lips against hers. "You mean this?"

Dania giggled as he kissed her again. His eyes were even brighter when she pulled away. "I mean tracking," she said, traces of laughter still hanging onto her every syllable. "Will you teach me?"

"Anything for you, amrâlimê," he said in a warm whisper.

Such simple words, yet coming from him, they had the power to banish the strongest of storms. Dania did not share Thorin's way with words. Instead, she pulled him in for another kiss which would translate her feelings for her. Thorin responded enthusiastically to her embrace for a moment, but he seemed to have other plans on his mind.

He broke off the kiss and seemed to be on the verge of speaking, only he did not. Silence settled between them, and she could feel the tension settling into his muscles.

"Before I get carried away," he said after a moment, his voice much less confident than it usually was, "I wanted to tell you that I went to the library last night after the feast. To look for a solution to our . . . situation."

The change of tone in both his speech and body chilled her bones. Feeling embarrassment crawling up her neck, Dania looked away as Thorin looked down at his feet. His hand moved away from her back and reached for something in the inner pocket of his tunic. Dania looked back to him when he cleared his throat.

Thorin loosened his hold on her and handed her a piece of parchment. Once unfolded, she saw that it contained notes written in Thorin's elegant handwriting.

"Smartweed?" she read aloud, giving Thorin a quizzical look.

"You have never heard of it?" When Dania shook her head, Thorin sighed. Clearly, he had not expected to have to explain it to her. "It is plant; and it grows in these parts, according to the book I read."

Dania nodded. Then read some of the notes aloud. "Smartweed leaves and flowers can be collected from mid âfvalasirkha to late âfhumryanj* . . . infusions of 4 ounces of the fresh leaves or 1 ounce of dried leaves in a quart of boiling water . . . should never be consumed if pregnant, or during the fertile period . . ."

Trailing off, she snuck a glance at Thorin, looking at her with his jaw set, looking both vulnerable and imposing.

"The only danger is . . . that," he said tightly, pointing at the parchment she was holding, "and that is what we want, so . . ."

That was not what she wanted; it was what she needed to do, but she merely said, "that's what we want."

A jolt of overwhelming shame and nausea overcame her as he lifted his gaze to meet hers. Unbidden, tears stung her eyes. She wiped her cheek with a shaking hand, but Thorin was already wrapping his arms around her so that she buried her face in his shoulder, his heartbeat against her ears like a lullaby, calming and comforting.

"I'm sorry — " she choked.

"Shhh, amrâlimê, I have told you already," he murmured as he kissed her hairline softly, "you have nothing to be sorry for. In any case, if someone should be apologizing, it should be me."

Frowning, she looked up to him with wide, questioning eyes. "Why?"

"Because I — " he paused, looking around as though his answer, or the manner in which he should surrender that answer, was hidden somewhere in the surrounding trees. Then, slowly, as though he was forcing himself to do so, he looked back to her, his eyes wide with fear and remorse. "Because you deserve someone better."

Mouth half open, Dania looked at him helplessly, hurt by his disposition to continually torture himself in this way. Struggling once again with how to comfort him, she boiled down her thoughts to their very essence. "I want you."

Thorin took a deep breath, his eyes shining with unshed tears. "Then you deserve a better version of me; one who is less of a coward."

"But you're not a coward, Thorin!" she exclaimed imploringly, her hands moving to clutch his tunic.

"Really? You are forced to do things like this because I do not have the strength to tell a bunch of old council members that I have found my — that I love you with all my heart. I do not even have the courage to tell my own parents — "

"I don't want you to tell them," Dania spoke in a soft voice she half-hoped he would not even hear.

Her words were not entirely true — she wanted nothing more than to be with Thorin — but she could not face definite opposition. At least now, she could pretend like there might be a small chance awaiting them in their future.

If anyone was a coward, it was her.

He blinked back at her in a heavy, despairing silence.

Without waiting for a sign from him to continue, she went on, her confession leaking out of her like the blood of a wounded soldier. "I don't want you to tell them because I know what their reaction will be; you know it too." He grasped her arms forcefully, as though he was afraid her words meant she no longer wanted him. "I was hurt by you reaction to Vili finding out about us, and even though I do not see it as a bad thing, I understand why you felt that way. You were right to react as you did. Thorin — one day you will be king. Your people need you, just as you need them."

"I need you," he interjected in a strangled voice.

And I need you, she thought.

"You were born to be a leader. People listen to you; they look up to you and respect you. They do so because they know they can trust you to make the right decisions for them. You must put your duties first; and part of that means accepting that you are not free to love as you desire."

She hated herself for saying these things, and she knew that her heartbreak was now obvious to him and that she was breaking his own heart by not guarding her emotions better, but these things needed to be said.

"Prince or not, no one has the right to force me into a marriage I do not want," he said hoarsely.

Mahal, how she wished she was naive enough to accept that.

"I know the laws of our people,* Thorin; of course, no one can force you, but that does not mean they must accept your choice," she said bitterly. "I see the way they look at me and hear what they say of me. If we were to announce our relationship to the world; we would lose the support we so desperately need. Thorin, I don't want people to suffer because of me."

Slowly, he moved to cup her face with his large hands, the pads of his thumbs wiping her tears away. He, too, was crying now. Constant, frustrated tears rolled down his cheeks, telling her he could find nothing to dispute her words.

"But instead you are the one suffering," he whispered, surveying her face as though he was afraid she would break in his arms.

Dania tamped down the urge to snap back at him. She could usually read him better than her own mind, but at that moment, she could understand neither.

They did not have a choice, yet Thorin lingered on the premise of their relationship as though he thought he could change it, even when he had been the one to suggest keeping them a secret in the first place. He was both breaking her heart and giving it a reason to keep beating with each of his words and each flicker in his eyes. In her heart, he would always be hers, just as she would always be his, but in this cruel world, she would have to accept his fate. She had accepted it, but he also had to accept it.

"This is only temporary," he said, sounding as though he was trying to convince himself more than anything. "We will not always have to hide — "

"No, because one day you will marry someone else."

The bitter words escaped her lips before she could seize them and lock them up again.

"Never!" Thorin roared, swallowing hard. "What brought this on? How can you even say that?"

Dania's breath hitched in her throat so that she was only able to voice one word, but that one word was enough to make Thorin understand. "Ester."

The hands that were still on her face froze, and his shoulders sagged. In the next few minutes, Thorin opened his mouth to speak, but always he closed it before a single sound escaped.

At last, he spoke again, his voice softer, almost pleading, though Dania was at a loss to understand to whom he was pleading. "I will let no one separate us, Dany, no one. I am certain Ester's parents will not be the only ones to try to convince me to marry their daughters. Even my father will surely push me to at least consider them, but I will do everything in my power to keep them at bay.

"I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to hear these conjurers' ill words toward you, and how hurt you must be when you are forced to see me with these other Dwarrows; and I am so sorry to put you through all this," he spoke in a breathless voice as he rested his forehead against hers. "I hate myself for not doing anything; for not punishing them for all the pain they impose on you; but I need you to take comfort in the fact that none of those Dwarrows, even despite all their efforts, can ever hope to rival you. I have place for you and you only in my heart, and that is how it should be. I am yours, and you are mine."

I am yours, and you are mine. The same words with which she had pledged herself to him upon his return from the battle. Just as they had stirred a wave of passion from him on that night, they now pushed her to respond to his declaration by caving into her urges.

Their lips met passionately, almost violently, as though their bodies were trying to convince their minds of what was so obvious, that they were meant for one another, and that at this moment, they could give into these overpowering desires freely.

"Tell me you still want me," Thorin said in a half groan, half whimper, before kissing her even more hungrily than before.

"I want you," she said, kissing him back just as desperately. "I am yours."

His smell and taste so enraptured her that she did not realize they had been moving until her back hit the rough bark of a tree. Somehow, Thorin's body was even harder. He pressed himself against her and took her face between his hands before tearing his mouth away from hers to leave a trail of kisses along her jaw, then down her neck until he reached the sensitive point only he knew about.

A moan broke from Dania's throat, and her legs buckled. Luckily, Thorin wrapped an arm around her waist to hold her in place while his other hand reached for the hem of her skirts. All the while, he continued to suck on her neck. He was going to leave a mark; that much was certain. Dania did not stop him. She wanted him to mark her as his; it was so foolish, so reckless, but the sensible part of her mind was being drowned by the liquid heat between her legs.

At this moment, they were just two lovers, two halves of the same heart coming together. If she could not have all of him for every day of their lives — as she so desperately craved — at least she had him at this moment.

Nothing was certain except this moment.

Her hands found purchase on his shoulders, the unyielding mass of muscles impossibly warm under his thin shirt. Another moan escaped her lips when his calloused hand trailed up her naked thighs. Fearing that she might fall as every inch of her body responded to his lingering caresses, Dania wrapped her arms around him more tightly, but Thorin was holding her firmly in place, so she finally let herself relax in his grip.

When he lifted his face to look at her, she whimpered, already missing the feeling of his lips on her skin. Liquid fire pulsed through her veins as she watched him with sultry eyes. Beads of sweat were already rolling down his face, and his chest heaved rapidly, indicators that he wanted her just as badly as she wanted him.

Then Thorin's leg slid between hers so that she felt him, incredibly hard and thick, and her mind forgot how to form a coherent thought. Her hips bucked against him of their own accord, causing Thorin to groan. He could feel the pool of moisture between her legs; she was sure of it.

His eyes never left hers as his hand moved to cup her mound, and then, without any other warning, his fingers slid between her folds. Dania was forced to cover her mouth with her hand to muffle her loud moans that would have alerted the encampment even from this distance.

"You are so wet," Thorin said in a raspy voice. Dania could only whimper in response.

It was his turn to moan when she wrapped her legs around his waist. Thorin's voice was utterly divine, but his moans especially so; she might have reached her peak of pleasure from that sound alone.

"Thorin," Dania pleaded, eyes wide and desperate. She did not need to say more for him to know exactly what she needed. His thumb moved to her sensitive bud, tracing circles over it until he was forced to kiss her to silence her.

With each of his caresses, Dania grew more impatient until she could hold it in no longer.

"I need you," she moaned against his lips. "I need you inside me."

She could hardly believe such improper words had come out of her mouth, but Thorin did not seem to mind. In fact, they seemed to have only intensified his passion. Humming in response, he continued to kiss her with fervent ardour as her shaking hands moved to unbuckle his belt. The clamour of his sword hitting the ground was still ringing in her ears when she untied his trousers so that, at last, she could wrap a hand around his burning desire.

Hissing in surprise, he intensified the movement of his fingers, curling them inside her heat. She would not last long, but she wanted to feel him inside her; she wanted to feel him stretch her and cover her with his seed.

"Thorin — please — oh!"

The tip of his manhood brushed against her most sensitive spot, and then, finally, he entered her. As always, he searched her eyes for any sign of discomfort or of a change of heart. Only when she nodded did he thrust all the way in, giving her only a short moment to adjust to him before he began pounding into her.

Both his hands were now on her hips, holding her so tightly that she felt bruises forming. Dania secretly enjoyed how much more urgent this felt compared to their other couplings, and a blush smeared her cheeks as she realized how improper her thoughts were.

Dania's mouth hung half-open as the heat in her belly continued to grow to an almost unbearable degree, but then a brief moment of lucidity made her rethink her actions, and she pulled Thorin in by the neck, slamming her lips into his to silence herself just as a low moan escaped her.

"I am yours," Thorin growled breathlessly. "Only yours." For now.

"Mine," she purred before he took her lower lip between his teeth and pulled. A sharp jolt of pleasure ran through her and exploded in her core.

Thorin had clearly felt her muscles contracting, for he reclaimed her lips, his moan making her lips quiver. One of his hands moved to squeeze the soft flesh of her buttock. Another jolt of pleasure sparked through her. Nothing could stop the steady and inevitable rise quickly bringing her to the pinnacle of passion.

Shifting her in his arms so that there was practically no space between them, Thorin began thrusting even deeper into her, seeking his own end. The new angle caused him to hit the back of her cavern, scattering stars across her vision.

"Thorin — "

This time her moan was left to fly freely into the forest air as Thorin was entirely addled by the pulsing of her inner walls, a clear sign that she would come undone before him at any moment. His ragged breathing told Dania that he, too, would not last long, but that did not matter. One more thrust, and the two of them reached their peaks at the same time.

The world around her turned to white as she stiffened against him. Waves of pleasure continued to wash over her for what seemed like an eternity. Ever the most attentive and selfless lover, Thorin continued to move inside her, letting her ride out her high, gradually slowing down his movements and stopping only when she found the strength to open her eyes again.

His ragged breathing spilled warm and fast against her face as she gazed into his eyes, shining like the moon on Durin's Day. When Thorin made to move away, Dania wrapped her legs around him more tightly, making it impossible for him to leave. His eyes softened in response, and she knew that he understood both her previous fervent desire to be claimed by him and her current need to be held by him.

For a while, they remained in that embrace, neither saying a thing, fearful that one syllable might break the spell that seemed to have allowed them respite from their fears. His hands were still on her waist, though now so soft and gentle they might have healed the bruises they had left their mere moments before.

In the end, however, they had to move.

Slowly, Thorin pulled out, then gently brought Dania back on her feet, only for her to stagger into his arms. A sweet soreness tingled inside her, propelling her towards him both because she had trouble finding her balance and because it made her crave more of him already. Dania tamped down that desire and curled closer into Thorin's embrace as he lowered them both onto the soft grass. Clearly, he also did not have a pressing desire to return to the real world.

Still desperate to feel close to him, Dania sat on his lap, allowing him to cradle her close to his chest and kiss her forehead. She knew she was being childish now, but his willingness to comfort her only made her want it more. However much she loved him; however much she knew he loved her, she would never not be affected by the attention he received from other Dwarrows.

But for now, he was hers, and this time she would not be the one to pull away; she would wait until he declared it was time for them to leave.

Dania could feel herself slowly falling asleep in his arms, as though his body around hers was a balm meant to heal her wounds, even if only temporarily. It was only his baritone voice whispering her name that propelled her to open her eyes and look up to him.

"Will you promise me one thing?" he asked as he continued to rock her gently, one of his large hands now cupping her face.

"Hm?"

"I need you to trust me, amrâlimê," he said softly, tightening his hold on her. "They will not separate us; I will not allow it. I may only be capable of delaying their wishes; but as Mahal is my witness, if I must run from their iron grips for a hundred years, then so be it. You mean everything to me, Dany, and if I cannot marry you, I will have no other as wife." Their lips, which had been growing closer with every word, met softly in a physical manifestation of his vow. As they pulled apart and gazed into each others' eyes, Dania finally felt her tears recede, and her heart felt lighter in her chest. "Promise me that you will trust me; that you will trust these words. Promise me you will trust in us."

For the first time, she actually felt like they were on the same page about their relationship. He had held no fanciful images of a blessed union — images which tortured her on even her brightest days — nor had he spoken of sacrificing his birthright to be with her, something she would never forgive herself for; something she would never let him do.

"I promise," Dania answered, rendered momentarily breathless by the intensity of her love for him.

Hearts considerably lighter, they shared another kiss, soft and sweet as a ripe strawberry. Both of Thorin's hands now rested on her cheeks, guiding and controlling the kiss as she melted in his hold. Then, as though afraid he might get carried away once more, Thorin pulled away, resting his forehead against hers, his eyes locked on hers as though gazing into her soul. She always felt so exposed when he stared at her like this, and even though embarrassment came to her easily in those moments, she also enjoyed it more than she dared to admit, simply because all of his attention was on her and no one stood in their way.

If only that expression could have marked his features freely.

The air was already warmer when they began to make their way back to the encampment, the midmorning sun shining through the branches to light their way. They took a different path, one that wound to and fro so that it took them a while longer to get back, not that they minded. Hand in hand, they savoured the delay, sharing their impressions of the last few days without a single worry for propriety. Conversations with Thorin were usually easy, such as it was now, because she did not have to worry about anything but being herself. Even more than this, Thorin could be himself with her. He did not need to act or speak as a prince should.

Dania loved him in those moments above all.

They even found a shrub of smartweed on their way, so she collected some and placed the sample neatly in her basket. Even that did nothing to alter their mood — or at least, she tried very hard for her countenance to remain the same — and in the end, she was glad that they had had the chance to speak, even if it had been a painful conversation.

She was his, and he was hers, not only in this moment, but at least in this moment. For now, she would allow herself to savour every moment with him, and she banished her fears of whatever would happen in the future at the back of her mind.

#the hobbit #the hobbit fanfiction #thorin #thorin x reader #thorin x oc #thorin fanfic #tolkien #tolkien fanfiction #thorin x you #heart of gold

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sometimesiwrite · 4 years ago

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Sick of This

A/N: Modern AU inspired by a random piece of dialogue from TW2 (Roche’s Path) in Vergen when Geralt and Zoltan speak with Yarpen and Burdon (I think). We hear a story about how Geralt took care of Triss while they were travelling together and she had a horrendous illness. I’m working with hybrids of these characters, but primarily drawing on game dynamics with a bit of book influence for Yennefer and some Netflix influence for Triss.

Summary: Geralt and Yennefer are in town for a an important political dinner when Geralt learns that their friend, Triss is down for the count with a terrible stomach flu. With some time to spare, he visits her, intending to stay a short while, but her condition worsens to the point where Geralt feels he can’t leave. Internal and inter-personal conflict arises as Geralt vies to skip dinner in favour of caring for a friend in need. tl;dr: Going through a relationship rough-patch (again) and realizing you might have feelings for a close friend makes for a difficult night.

Characters/pairings: Geralt x Triss; Geralt x Yennefer; Yennefer x Istrid; Jaskier

Warnings: Infidelity, verbal abuse/toxic partnership, detailed descriptions of vomiting/severe nausea/stomach pain.

MASTERLIST

Triss looked down at the illuminated screen of her phone: “In town for a few days,” the text read. “Long story. Yen has a work thing. Anyway, let me know if you want to grab a drink.” The number didn’t belong to a name in her contacts—but then again, Geralt’s number never did. Every few months, he’d get a new pay-as-you-go so that old clients wouldn’t try to contract him under the table. It only took two calls from the same tight-assed, penny-pinching hypocrites who’d tried to low-ball him on his first case to make him realize an ever-changing phone number was a good idea. So: burner phones. As a nice added bonus, it made it harder for the Redanian Secret Service to keep tabs on him which meant a little more… investigative freedom when push came to shove. The few people he ever contacted regularly—Triss, Yennefer, Eskel, Lambert, Jaskier (Vesemir didn’t text)—never bothered putting his number in their contacts. By the time they got around to updating his number, he was changing it within a few weeks anyway. Besides, he insisted it was safer for all of them if they didn’t have his name in their phones in the first place. By now, everyone knew that if they got a text from an unknown number, there was a 99.9% chance it was Geralt.

The toilet gurgled as Triss returned to the sofa with a groan, scrunching her knees up against the pain in her stomach. She checked her phone again: “Only if you’re free, I know Foltest keeps you pretty busy…” She rolled her eyes and replied, “Thanks, Ger. Ordinarily, I could use one right about now, but I’m feeling pretty sick. Think I should stay home </3” She smiled weakly as the text fwiipped its way up the screen. Too bad she was laid up. Would’ve been nice to see him. Her friends always said he was too grumpy and moody to be any fun, but Triss always thought of him as being quite mellow and calming to be around. He never imposed expectations on their time together, unlike her other friends who were always scheming, gossiping, or bitching about their bosses. Just easy conversation and a few good laughs as they caught up on the past few months or years or however long it had been since they last saw each other.

She checked her phone again and fired off a few brief “not today, babes, sorry, I’m just so sick” texts before her mouth started watering again and she headed into the bathroom: a routine by this point. A few girlfriends had offered to keep her company with rom coms and ginger tea, but she was already feeling so exhausted and it was only 1pm. Besides, Triss wasn’t sure she was prepared for anyone other than her cat (who was hiding under the bed) to see her like this: tawny cheeks flushed with fever, tight brown curls haphazardly bunned on top of her head in a pragmatic attempt to keep them out of the toilet and away from her face, frizzy ringlets falling loose down the back of her neck… and she was acutely aware that she smelled of sickness. Her body’s best attempt to rebalance itself meant that her underarms would overpower even her best deodorant. IF, that is, she cared enough to put any on which she Did Not. She was also, like any sensible woman in her current state, not wearing a bra.

Nope. Today was a day of horrendousness. Her phone pinged. “You need anything?”

“A new body might be nice. If you happen to see one that would suit me… 😝”

The fwoop! came in before her screen went dark: “LOL, I’ll see what I can find. Any preferences?”

Triss smiled despite the pain in her stomach. “Hmmm I did always want to be a physiotherapist. Oooh! Or a gymnast!” Fwiip!

Fwoop! “Still at your same place? I can send it by courrier. Should get there before 3:00”

Triss was trying hard to come up with a witty enough comeback, but her head was starting to ache. Hmmm. Yes, body, I would love to hydrate you, but you keep rejecting everything I put inside you. “Ugh,” she groaned again and made her way to the toilet. When she got back a few fruitless minutes later, she checked her phone again. Nothing. She just replied, “Thanks, Ger. BRB, going to go die now. When the courier gets here, just tell him to transfer my soul into the new body. I’ll leave it under the Welcome mat.” The TV flipped on as its owner began the endless Netflix Scroll of Indecision. She finally settled on Blue Planet for the 50th time hoping that slow-moving sea blobs would be soothing in some way.

It didn’t. Another excruciating hour of bathroom visits every ten-to-fifteen-minutes had her googling ‘pressure points to relieve nausea’ by 2:30. She had just pinched a spot on her wrist between her thumb and forefinger when she heard a soft knock on her door. “Ugh, no, GO AWAY! LEAVE ME TO DIE IN PEACE!” she called out from her nest on the sofa. It was too late. The she heard the door brush against the spongy beige carpet as someone poked their head inside, “Triss?” It was Geralt.

“Oh gods, no, Geralt, stay back, save yourself!”

He gave a low chuckle and Triss already felt a little better. How does he always manage to do that? “I don’t have a new body for you, but I might have the next best thing. Permission to enter?”

Triss let out a rueful groan, “Alright, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.” She heard him step in quietly and toe off his shoes as the door closed. A second later, he came around the corner with a Rexall bag in hand. He’d been to a barber recently, and his silvery hair was looking more stylish than usual—cut shorter on the sides and stylishly swept back from his face. Paired with his dark-teal flannel shirt and grey denim jeans, Triss thought he looked unusually striking.

Geralt tilted his head sympathetically at the sight before him. Triss was bundled on the sofa in an oversized sleep shirt and sweatpants, fuzzy socks bunched around her ankles, and what looked like any and all home remedies gathered around her: hot water bottle, cold pack, three mugs of tea (ginger, peppermint, and chamomile by the smell of them), a glass of ice water, a barely-touched bowl of chicken broth, a mangled bag of oyster crackers, and a thermometer.

“You’re really down for the count, huh? Got a fever?” before she could object, the back of Geralt’s hand was on her forehead. It felt cool and refreshing against the dry heat of her face as he assessed her condition. “Meh. Could be better, could be worse.”

“I could’ve told you that,” Triss retorted with a halfhearted smile. “Ugh… sorry, um, I have to…” she pointed towards the bathroom and Geralt raised his hands (‘say no more’) as his friend scuttled exhaustedly around the corner. He busied himself with watching manta rays gliding through the open ocean until he heard the toilet flush and Triss emerged again, looking ragged and a little sheepish. “Sorry,” she said, pouring herself back onto her nest of blankets and stuffed animals.

Geralt shrugged, “No need to be, you’re sick. Here,” he reached into the pharmacy bag and brought out a box of ginger Gravol tablets and a medium-sized bottle of Cherry Punch Pedialyte—she was allergic to most over-the-counter cold and flu medication.

“Geralt, you didn’t have to do all this for me. How did you even know I had the stomach flu?”

He looked over her shoulder at her laptop which was still open to the page of various nausea-relieving pressure points, “Hm. You should have this stuff around anyway,” he paused as Triss swallowed heavily and went to the bathroom again. It wasn’t that she didn’t know how to take care of herself, her mother had been a nurse practitioner for heaven’s sake. Still, Geralt was never one to leave a friend in need if there was something he could do about it. A particularly visceral sound drew him from where he was perched on the arm of the sofa. Triss was crouched on the bathroom floor, shivering with her forehead resting on her elbows over the toilet bowl. She spat. Geralt sat on the edge of the bathtub. “How long has it been like this?”

“Since about... 10am,” she managed to get out before her entire body heaved. Geralt instinctively reached out to place a hand on her back. She didn’t object. She never objected to these little shows of affection from Geralt. There was always something reassuring about them, and it felt particularly nice to be reminded that she wasn’t alone just now.

Geralt rubbed slow circles across her back as he coaxed her through retching and dry heaves. “You know you could've just asked.”

“I know but—”

“Stubborn?”

“Uh-huh,” Triss admitted, sitting back on her heels and flushing the mostly-empty toilet. “Besides, the last thing you need is to be taking care of a gross friend right before getting ready for a fancy business gala.

“You clearly don’t know just how little I’m looking forward to this evening,” Geralt grumbled, passing Triss a cool glass of water to rinse with.

“Not looking forward to talking the talk, Mr. Slick P.I.?” Triss’s eyes gave a twinkle as her freckled cheeks pulled into a cheeky smirk.

Even when she’s a mess she still finds a way to light up. Geralt furrowed his brow at his own thoughts. Where did that come from? “You know how it is, all this high-society stuff, rubbing elbows, laughing at tasteless jokes. It’s just not me. But Yen—well…” he sighed heavily, “I dunno. She’s right in that it’s a good way to get the information we need, stay visible to the right people but… I shouldn’t be talking to you about this. I know she’s your friend.”

Triss raised an eyebrow, “Oh, go on. Trust me, there’s nothing you can say about Yennefer of Vengerberg that will surprise me. Besides, you’re my friend, too.”

“Hm.” Geralt stared down and fiddled with his crossed thumbs. “Lately I can’t get anything right. I’m always asking the wrong questions, or I’ll try and talk to her about something I want us to work on and it’s never worded the right way and then it just turns into a fight which is what I want to stop doing in the first place. And then I’m either too sensitive or not sensitive enough and… it’s like she has a set of rules inside her head she won’t tell me about. Feels like it’s harder than it should be. But who am I to know?”

“I’m sorry, Geralt. Yennefer can be so unfair sometimes. I don’t think she understands how much she can push against the people she cares about. It’s one thing to be a friend, at least I can take a breather every now and then if I need to. But it’s different for you. You don’t like taking time apart.” Triss offered an apologetic smile before groaning and leaning back over the toilet and Geralt’s hand took up its place on her back again as he worked her through another round.

Geralt’s phone rang as Triss flushed the toilet. “Sorry, it’s Yen. I should take this. Be right back. Yen? Yeah, I’m with Triss, got a stomach thing, I stopped by to bring her some...” his voice disappeared around the corner as he went into the bedroom. Triss couldn’t make out their whole conversation, but it sounded tense. The phrase, “...just trust me to dress myself, I’m not a—,” came through the drywall. Triss sighed sympathetically. It certainly hadn’t been smooth sailing for the two of them. Geralt had his own flaws and foibles in the romance department—he could be callous and insensitive in favour of honesty at times, and never shied away from pushing buttons—but Yennefer was mercurial, brazen, rash, and brutal; all excellent qualities for a powerful and influential chief advisor. But as much as Geralt was his own handful, she’d never known him to willfully hurt someone he cared about, and was quick to apologize when he did.

When Geralt came back, Triss was trying to push herself to standing. He caught her as she swayed on her unsteady legs. “Whoa, whoa, Triss, easy. Here, sit back down, wait here for a second.” Triss did as she was told and settled miserably back onto the bathroom floor. Geralt immediately returned with two blankets before disappearing again. A few minutes later, he returned once more with a tea tray on which was balanced Triss’s laptop, a small glass of Pedialyte on the rocks, the pack of gravol, and the box of oyster crackers.

Triss let out a soft giggle, “What is this?”

“You need to try and get something in you. Might not be pretty at first, but if you don’t get some fluids soon, you’re going to be in bigger trouble.”

“Really. I had no idea. I can take care of myself, you know… sorry that was,” Triss sighed. “It’s been a long day

Geralt hunkered down next to her on the floor on top of a throw pillow, “Hey, I get it. But that’s not why I’m here. Just because you can doesn’t mean you have to. So take this, with a sip of this,” he handed her a blister pack of the Gravol and the glass of Pedialyte, “and let’s see if you can keep it down.”

“Cherry Punch. How did you know this was my favourite?” Triss could no longer hide the fondness that was welling up despite her unrelenting discomfort and growing exhaustion. Geralt gave a muted smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “How’s Yennefer?”

The lines on Geralt’s face became more pronounced, “She’s… fine.” Triss tilted her head (‘really?’) and Geralt relented, “There’s a chance Istrid will be there tonight.”

“The head of the Archeological Association? I don’t get it, what’s he got to do with you and Yennefer?”

Triss could guess the answer from Geralt’s pause. His words merely confirmed it, “They have history.”

“You don’t think that Yennefer will—I mean, she wouldn’t—”

“She has. She doesn’t know that I know, but…” Triss’s heart sank. “I don’t know why I’m waiting for her to tell me. Guess I don’t want her to feel like I went out of my way to find her at fault—which I didn’t, by the way. I found out by accident.”

“I’m sorry, Ger.” The weight of Triss’s head against his shoulder brought Geralt out of his daze and he looked down at the messy updo of mahogany hair. He smiled again, a delicate, private, unconscious thing that sparked from an unconscious uplifting somewhere in the middle of him and pulled the corners of his eyes. He thought about ignoring it, not wanting to have to go digging inside himself for what it meant. Instead he wrapped an arm around Triss’s shoulder and pecked a chaste kiss to the top of her head.

“How’re you feeling?”

The answer to that question proved complicated. Triss’s spirits were a bit better thanks to Geralt’s stubborn-yet-easygoing caretaking. But the introduction of contents into her contrary stomach was yielding less-than-desirable consequences. Painful cramps persisted between more frequent bouts of vomiting—which by this point was mostly dry-heaves followed by the occasional expulsion of bile. Meanwhile it was 5:30 and Geralt’s phone beeped a notification. He checkecked the screen with one hand while he soothed Triss with the other: Where are you??? Yen. Who else could it be? He’d have to call her.

“Geralt, go! Really, I’ll be fine I promise. You’ve got to rub elbows and laugh at bad jokes, remember?” Triss propped herself up on wobbly elbows over the toilet bowl, not trusting the wave to be over.

Geralt was already dialling. Triss heard the faint echo of her friend’s voice on the other line as she answered with, ‘Where the HELL are you?’

“I’m still with Triss, Yen. Things aren’t looking good here, she’s just gotten worse. If I can’t—Yen, listen if she doesn’t—if she doesn’t get any fluids in her I’ll need to take her to the hospital.” Geralt pulled an apologetic face and Triss gave him a reassuring wave that she’d be fine if he stepped out for a minute. “Yen, please, I thought we talked about this, please don’t use that tone, it makes me feel…” The conversation continued, though this time in the living room: “I know this is an important night for us to both be there, Yen, you’ve been reminding me for the last month, but I can’t just leave until… what’s that supposed to mean? That’s not—no, hang on, that’s not fair, Yen… Well if you already don’t believe me I don’t—Okay, then you tell me what I’m supposed to say! I’m tired of this, Yennefer, I am so. Exhausted trying to figure out exactly what to say in order for you to not react like this every time I… can I finish?...”

Geralt was pacing back-and-forth now, and Triss could tell from the tone on the other end of the line that Yennefer wasn’t backing down anytime soon, “Geralt, if you don’t leave Triss’s apartment and come back here and get dressed this instant, I swear I will—”

Geralt paused outside the bathroom door for Triss to flash a wilted thumbs-up as she tried to drink more Cherry Punch Pedialyte, “Or you’ll what, Yen? Count to ten and then chuck me in the coi pond? I—you know what?” he moved back into the living room, “No, you know what? How ‘bout this: I’m staying here with our friend who needs help, and you can go to this big event, embarrassment free, and do what you do best without the big idiot holding you back. Whatever needs to get done at this dinner tonight, I bet you’ll do better on your own than worrying about me screwing something up.”

Triss heard his phone flip shut followed by a heavy sigh before his sock feet padded back into the bathroom. Unfortunately, just then, her suspicions about not being finished proved correct as her mouth, once again, began to water. Thankfully Cherry punch wasn’t nearly as bad coming back up as other flavors were known to be. In less than a second, Geralt was there with a warm hand and a blanket around her shoulders. They didn’t talk much over the next little while as Geralt continued his attempts to soothe Triss’s stomach enough to hold something down. After an hour, Triss finally was able to rest a little, albeit still in quite a bit of pain. But with the toilet no longer an ongoing necessity, the sofa once again became a viable option. Geralt scooped up the blanketed bundle and carried her back into the living room to continue their journey under the sea, complete with cold compress and bendy straw.

By 7:30 Triss hadn’t needed the toilet at all in the last hour, and some of her stomach pain was starting to diminish. However, she was still shivering and achy, and not interested in food. She kept insisting that Geralt had time to meet Yennefer at the gala, that she would be perfectly fine on her own, but Geralt wasn’t convinced. Showing up now would not only put Yennefer in the awkward position of having to save face by not murdering him in cold blood in front of a dozen or more foreign dignitaries, but it would also mean having to face Istrid who, if he wasn’t already, would doubtlessly be very interested to hear Yennefer’s thoughts on a great number of things before the night was over. Geralt didn’t trust himself not to do something he’d regret—or at least that Yennefer would regret.

Another hour in and Triss was starting to perk up: minimal stomach pain, and she was making a decent dent in her Cherry Punch. Geralt decided it was time for a little chicken soup. He made a freezer pizza for himself and cracked a beer while he warmed up a can of Campbell’s Chicken Noodle, ladelling out all the broth into a mug for Triss so she wouldn’t be tempted to eat more than she could handle. Geralt had only one goal for her tonight: keep everything down. If she could do that, then he had at least been able to do something for her. If not… Geralt tried very hard not to listen to the voice that said, ‘then you’re no use for anyone’ in the back of his mind. Thankfully, Triss finished her broth without concern and he didn’t have to worry about that voice for the time being. Instead, he settled a little deeper into the sofa cushions as Triss resumed a comfortable spot against his shoulder.

After another little while, a miracle happened: Triss started to have fun. That characteristic sparkle came back to her eyes, and the two friends quickly began to actively enjoy their evening. They watched The Fellowship of the Ring and took a drink of beer or Pedialyte every time Frodo had a dramatic closeup, was stabbed, or rolled his eyes for dramatic effect. Geralt microwaved a bag of popcorn, and Triss cautiously had a few oyster crackers as they laughed and caught up. Finally. It may not have been the original vision for what drinks and casual hangs would look like, but it was good. It was nice. Relaxed, and pleasant. Easy. Geralt’s mind wandered as the Fellowship fled the Balrog, and he didn’t notice the little line his thumb was leaving on Triss’s blanket as it traced up and down her shoulder. He also didn’t think twice when she shifted, half-asleep, to lie her head in his lap and his hand moved to the curve of her waist. It wasn’t until he looked down in the direction of soft snoring that he was reminded exactly who was lying in his lap.

His initial thought was, ‘shit,’ as he slowly removed his hand from her waist, not wanting to wake her, but also not knowing what to do. It was suddenly all so intimate, though he didn’t quite know why. As he watched her, peacefully asleep in his lap, he realized he didn’t want to break away. Didn’t want to wake her to adjust to a more ‘appropriate’ orientation. He touched her shoulder again. That was nice. That felt… nice. She stirred, and Geralt wondered if she was comfortable as he brushed a tight ringlet behind her ear. She smiled in semi-consciousness and his heart sang. This was bad. This was very very bad. He reached for the remote and flicked the tv off. It was after midnight, and high time everyone went to bed. Alone.

That was the only option. Right? In theory, no. There was another option, and a significant part of Geralt wanted to go with that one, stay in this soft warm place where everything felt easier… where he felt happy. But a louder part of him knew that wasn’t right, wasn’t fair; that even if he was unhappy—even if Yennefer had spent the night with Istrid (Geralt tried not to think about that). The bottom line was Triss felt well enough that he no longer needed to stay with her to make sure she was alright. That was why he’d come. If he stayed for other reasons, it wouldn’t be fair to anyone. End of discussion.

“Triss,” Geralt murmured, rousing her as gently as he could.

“Hmm?” Her eyes fluttered open to see Geralt staring down at her. She didn’t remember lying down in his lap, but she must have just before she fell asleep. “Did I fall asleep on you?”

Geralt’s eyes crinkled, “Hm. Yeah. You were pretty out of it.”

“Ah, shit, I’m so sorry!”

“You needed the rest. Wouldn’t be the first time someone’s passed out on me, and you’re significantly easier to deal with than Lambert.”

Triss bunched her blankets around her shoulders and shivered sleepily, “You should go. Yennefer’s probably waiting for you.”

“Hm. Yeah, probably,” Geralt heaved himself off the sofa as Triss released her hair and gathered her nest to head to the bedroom. Geralt waited until she was bundled in bed. “All set?”

A little smile peeked over the tops of the covers, “Mmmhmm, thanks.”

“Need anything else?”

“No, I’m good. Goodnight, Ger.”

“Goodnight, Triss,” Geralt flicked off the light. In the entranceway, he paused with his hand on the doorknob, took a deep breath, and left, locking the door behind him and putting the key back in its usual hiding place. Enough now. Done. He was determined that whatever he had felt, whatever warm, unexpected thing had bubbled to the surface, would forever exist behind that locked door, frozen in time. A blip. The important thing was nothing was acted on. Not really. At worst, they wandered into a grey area by accident. These things happen. The key now was not to dwell on it, to move forward.

Geralt’s stomach soured as he slid his keycard into the slot of room 622. The lock clicked open as the little light on top flashed green and Geralt turned the handle, closing the door behind him as quietly as he could. He toggled the dimmer switch next to the door; the lowest setting would give him enough light to get changed without waking up—Yen? The bed was empty, still freshly turned-down, with his pre-approved evening attire laid out as he had suspected. He fucking hated that tie. He put the suit back in the garment bag from whence it came and checked his phone. Nothing. No texts, no missed calls. Might still be out. It wasn’t unusual for these events to turn into afterparties which was where most of the juicy information was gathered. He hit speed-dial.

“Hi, Jaskier? It’s—yeah, hi. Listen. Are things still going over there? I just—hm? Yeah, she’s doing okay now. Took awhile for me to get anything in her, but no hospital visit so… yeah, she finally got to sleep just as I was heading out, made sure she was hydrated and had a little something… I’m sure she’d appreciate that… Actually, that’s why I’m calling, I just got back and she’s not in, I was wondering if you knew where she…When?…Okay…No, archeology… Mmm no, they’re very different fields. Nevermind, thanks, Jas…Yeah, no it’s, um, I just wanted to make sure that she was okay. Didn’t want to bug her in case she was in the middle of—something. Yeah… Well don’t let me interrupt that. Okay, all the best. Go get ‘em tiger. ‘Night.”

Geralt tossed his phone on the bed and flopped heavily on top of the duvet and rubbed a hand over his face.

“Goddamnit, Yen.”

__________________

@the-space-between-heartbeats

@just-a-sad-donut

@oxenfurt-archives

@thirstyforred

@titaniafire

@belalugosisdead

@lonelygayz

@awkward-turtles-world

@iloveyouyen

@criminaly-supernatural

@friendlybelladonna

@enkelikauneus

#geralt x triss #witcher au #Modern AU Witcher #Takin' care of Triss-ness #morethangeraskier #rarepairs #off-canon #tw partner abuse #tw2 #tw3 wild hunt

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mariaiscrafting · 4 years ago

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yo i saw your post to canon about gender studies and stuff and i ran out of asks ages ago so I couldnt send this until now, but feel free to go off about gender and stuff, i would love to hear it- maybe tag me in it if you do? - evilglitter (canon's canonical spouse)

Heya, @evilglitter! Lol yeah, I saw canon’s reply and I was just gonna ask, like, what exactly y’all would like me to go off about. It was kinda an open-ended sorta reply where I can really talk about anything y’all are interested in/questioning about, I guess.

If y’all don’t have any specifics you wanna know about for now, that’s cool, too, I can go off about what’s been bothering me lately and helping me along my own journey to pin point my gender identity.

The first thing my brain’s been hung up on is the difference between gender identity & expression. So, just as people say pronouns /=/ gender, I’m of the belief that expression /=/ gender, either. To explain this to people and better-conceptualize it myself, I always return to the kind of example this trans lady on Youtube (Contrapoints) goes back to. She brings up various examples of people who wear makeup: First, there is a cisgender man who might be mistaken as a woman when he wears feminizing makeup but is still a man nonetheless, whether wearing makeup or not. Then there’s a cisgender man who uses he/him pronouns when out of drag but she/her pronouns and a female name when in it, but still identifies as a man in and out of drag, almost like he’s playing a character. There are non-binary, genderfluid people who will identify as men and use he/him pronouns out of drag, while identifying as women and using she/her pronouns in drag; they identify themselves as women and men depending on their expression. And there are transgender women who identify as women in and out of drag, regardless of their expression. I’m not sure if I’m articulating this example too well - it’s much better-articulated in video format, I think - but that’s basically how I see gender identity and expression. They are two separate things that draw from each other and might have links to each other, depending on each individual’s view on their own gender, but don’t have to match at all. Butch lesbians can have a more masculine gender expression, and yet identify as cisgender women. Transmasc people can also have a masculine gender expression, and yet identify as trans men, non-binary, or anything else. Gender identity does not have to equate with expression, and that’s a really difficult box that I’ve had to learn to break out of, for my own sake, and through the gen & sexuality studies I’ve been doing at uni. Like, as a presumed cis woman my whole life, I’ve just assumed that to be perceived as a woman, I need to express myself femininely, and that if I fit into that feminine gender expression, I do not deviate from the identity of a woman. But lately I’ve been grappling with the idea that maybe I don’t identify as much as a woman as I once thought, that when I look inside myself and question the role I want to fit into in society, how I want my peers and colleagues to treat me, and my own characteristics/tendencies, I might not be as binary a woman as I always was taught to believe, and none of these things are affected by the fact that I’m curvy or wear skirts and heels or wear makeup; I can be as feminine or as masculine as I like, but to me, those do not equate my gender, and it’s okay if they don’t.

Lol the other thing I’d like to rant about for now is different theories of gender. First, I’d like to say that I’m by no means an expert. I’m literally just some second-year G&S minor who’s watched a lot of videos from trans people, learned a lot from Tumblr over the past 7-8 years, and read a couple texts here and there. I don’t know nearly as much as I’d like to pretend, but I’ll give my take on what I do know a little about. There are lots of different theories on what exactly gender is that overlap and contradict each other, at times. There’s the biological perspective that I’m sure we’re all familiar with - the belief that gender = your sex assignment. The problems with this theory are obvious, in that it doesn’t account for intersex people/people with chromosomal/hormonal discrepancies, or binary transgender people. Basically, the theory that XY = man and XX = woman is pretty... antiquated and flawed, imo. Then there’s the theory that gender is a bunch of performances, which I think came from Judith Butler, this well-known 2nd Wave feminist. This theory basically states that gender is this, like, specific, stylized series of actions that we perform everyday to fit into what our society’s roles for our genders are. Butler would probably disagree with me about expression versus identity, because to her, gender identity doesn’t go beyond the performance of one’s own gender. Basically, what we perform everyday, whether it be to act feminine, masculine, or androgynously, is telling of what our gender identity is. If we perform the actions of being a woman, then we are a woman, etc. Finally - and I’m sure there are many more theories on gender, but these are three I’m most familiar with - there’s the theory I personally most agree with - gender as a social construct. This is the idea that gender is constructed by societies, that gender roles are imposed onto us from the external, and that we are then socialized into whatever gender. I don’t totally agree with this theory because I do believe that gender goes beyond just the social roles we try to adhere to to fit into society, and the socialization we undergo from childhood; I do believe there is something at least a little innate about one’s own gender identity. The road social construct theory goes down is this one where, if we created a society free of hierarchies and gender roles and such, gender would cease to exist, which... is that true, I don’t really know. But I do think that gender is at least somewhat of a construct that society first created because it was useful for the creation of an efficient society, but is now just used to justify oppression, and that beyond that, gender as it functions in society is just this illusion that we could 100% do without if we want to obtain equality or whatever.

But anyways, lol I dunno if any of what I’ve just ranted about makes sense or is what y’all were looking for, and honestly at this point, I’m just using this as an opening for me to rant about something I’ve had bottled up for quite a while. I apologize for not being totally coherent since I’m not very experienced in actually talking about gender theory. If y’all want to chat about something specific, feel free to ask anything. :) Hope your journey to figure out your gender goes well, @canonurl

#asks #gender #gender identity #not mcyt #idek what this ask turned into lmfao #Anonymous #canonurl

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the-satellite · 4 years ago

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Hello friends and welcome to ☆Hateful Nostalgia☆. I was exposed to the mob talker mod WAY too young bc I was an unsupervised child on the internet watching mod showcases and SkyDoesMinecraft. Looking back these sucked, the stories were often bland and the designs were milk toast at best and tits out at worst. So for the sake of procrastinating on working on anything substantial I grabbed the main 6 I remembered and gussied em up. Redesigns, rewrites, better names, all that bullshit. If your interested in better photos, design notes, story details and rambling hit the basement, otherwise here's a line up you should click for better quality.

Also I wrote all this once before already but I deleted it like a dumb bitch. On the night Unus Annus was murdered in front of my eyes no less. Was a rough fuckin night.

The Creeper- Kupa. An explosive pyromaniac with a habit of making empty threats and yelling. She protects what she believes to be her territory with a suicidal passion, but if you manage to get her to cool down and soften up she's pretty sick to hand out with. Hard of hearing, has at least one bout of head trauma at all times, and deathly allergic to cats.

Because the creeper is kinda the og I wanted to reference AT2's design more than the others, but I'm p sure the only thing I actually kept was the red hair and brown gloves. Otherwise I was doing whatever. I really wanted to lean into the explody bit of creepers, so I gave her some bite and dressed her in clothes referenced from Irish railroad workers. This may also be why I keep imaging her with a very heavy Irish or Scottish accent, whichever would be most incomprehensible when angry. Every color but her skin was color picked from one of the references, with some minor alterations for makes my eyes happy reasons.

With Kupa I imagine a story line with her would largely be about her as a character and her development than like an actual adventure narrative like everyone else. She starts off ready to blow up both you and herself in a misguided attempt to defend what she sees as her's and opens up and learns not everyone is out to get her. Lots of time taken to understand her childhood and how she ended up how she is. Very simple, probably the default or tutorial run people would go through.

The Zombie- Bee. The ill husk of a missing explorer suffering from a less than conventional appetite. She wallows in her self imposed loneliness, believing herself to be an irredeemable monster doomed to hurt those around her. What she really needs is a buddy and some clue to who she used to be. Rough voiced, chronically fatigued, and prone to spontaneous combustion in sunlight.

I definitely consider this one the weakest for design sadly. I imagined Zombies as humans who went into strange caves and caverns and didn't come out for years, only to pop up as completely different people. I just tossed AT2's design. The first thing I did was make her a bit of a genderbent Steve and tinted her green bc Zombies in game are just Steve but green. Tore up her clothes, colored picked the darkest colors I could from the clothes on the in game and boom, Bee. I do vaguely regret not making her eyes pure black but I also still wanted her to be human enough to fit with the other overworld mods.

Ok so Bee actually has a basic story. When you meet her she's aggressive, but as a warning. She fears the possibility she may hurt somebody so heads for threats immediately. Going back and forth between her cave and village for a while you learn more about the situation with the missing folks who come back and Bee as a person. After a bit you pick her up off her depressed ass and start a nocturnal adventure of refinding your past, adapting to who your becoming, overcoming self destuction, and slow burn babey!!!

The Skeleton- Ulna. One of the few surviving warriors of a now destroyed kingdom and dead culture. She spends most of her time now traveling alone, hiding in trees and shooting anything see sees as a threat- which is everything- in the face with homemade arrows. Very much suffering from loss of her home and a bad case of lost purpose. A woman of few words, very antisocial, and naturally nocturnal.

I came in with the Skeleton wanting to make her seem mysterious, so my first thought was immediately a cloak and a mask, but I wanted her face to like be visible so I went with the face paint. I didn't actually know that I wanted to do under there so I went with wraps that are reminiscent of the original outfit but still not tits out bc it's so fucking easy! Gave her a quiver, color picked the cloak and face paint from the in game model and the wraps from AT2'S art. I did like. Subconsciously draw her eyes the way I do Asian characters but I didn't have anything specific in mind so like go nuts with what you think she is.

Ulna's deal is very much her lack of purpose or home and the entire thing is about finding that again. She's found sitting up in a tree during a storm pointing a bow and arrow into your face. She eventually let's you stick around until the storm is over and theres some bonding into deep night until the rain stops. You ask if she wants to come with on your little travelling sword for hire business, she says sure, sleep schedule shenanigans, backstory angst, and road trip bonding happens and she eventually decides that helping people is her new purpose and you're her new home

The Spider- Park. A young adult experiencing the world for the first time through her tribe's rite of passage. She's really just trying to figure out how to live life outside of the cave she's been stuck in her entire life and aggressively trying to be an independent adult despite not knowing anything about being an independent adult. Its projection. Blind in the daylight, naive and excitable, and taken to refusing help at her own risk.

Ok so. I don't know who looked at the spider and said "purple haired loli with puffy pants" so I once again yeeted the whole thing, only really keeping the kinda cutesy and childish bits. Spiders are a tribe of humans what live in caves unless they've broken off to live on the surface. Kids are kept inside until they hit a certain milestone, where they come up to explore at night. They're usually small and pale, but are pretty kickass when necessary. Again picked the colors off the in game model, played with the lightest gray for the skin, and bc I couldn't figure out anyway to use the stripes so they're on the patches lol.

Park's meeting is probably the funniest and most meet cute one here, in that she accidentally drops on top of you from a little cliff drop off. Cue loads of apologies and an explanation about the spider deal and being blind in light. She asks for some help getting around and bam babey friendship and emotional attachment! What follows is kinda a buddy of coming of age story with the obligatory goes home and is miserable scene. Generally it's just about being a scared young adult and having someone to fall back on and why that's important. Also crushes and young people being bad at that.

The Blaze- Amber. A demonic entity who would let the world burn and the sun die if it meant she'd get her soul back. She's known for being ruthless, taking souls through force instead of making deals like other Blazes. Keeps this forceful nature even once she's become friendly, makes you do dump shit. Territorial, eyes glow and dim with her life, and runs remarkably warm.

Amber here is the first one I actually did! I was just. Really tired that she was in a bikini. I decided early on I wanted overworld mobs to be human and everyone else was decidedly not, so Blazes are demons who gave up their souls under false pretenses to other Blazes. Because of how little clothes AT2's design wore I had essentially free reign and my thought was immediately to lean on golden knight bc of how Blazes are found protecting fortresses. The gold isn't picked from anything bc I was looser with the colors, but everything else is, and the hair is supposed to represent the smoke. Also the sticks in her hair are blaze rods bc I don't like them just floating around her.

Amber is found in the Nether obviously, protecting a fortress and immediately trying beat your ass and either incinerate you or make you give up your soul. During you prove yourself a p damn good fighter and she makes a deal to show you how Blazes exist and pursade you to give your soul up willingly. Bonding happens and she explains where the souls go and what happened to her. Insert line about how she dug in the sand for her soul until her fingers bleed bc I'm an Arcana freak lol. In general I'd just like her to learn to adapt to who she is now and learning to live life well instead of letting her anger burn her up from the inside out.

The Enderman- Violet. A confused but sweet young bit of void created by and connected to the Ender Dragon. Her relationship with reality is tenuous at best and abusive at worst, making stable existence rather difficult. She doesn't know a name, age, gender, anything about herself aside from that she likes sweaters. Communicates primarily through psychic connections, docile and sweet, and melts like a witch in water.

Violet was incredibly easy, so this may be way short. Endermen are decidedly human shaped void from the End with varying sentience. They're direct extensions of the Ender Dragon, and nobody knows how they're made or where they come from, not even they do. Adventurers who escaped The End say they seem scared of it though. Violet in particular is pretty damn new and extraordinary nonconforming, and I tried to show that with her sweater and ponytail. Once again, literally all colors picked. Definitely the simplest but one of my favs.

Violet is the sweetest meet up I think. As your traveling between villages you notice a strange enderman watching you and plant a little flower in front of her. She picks it and you hear a happy little trill come from you and a pretty voice say thank you in your head. Now you have a tall dark teleporting travel buddy! After a little bit of back and forth she tells you in some broken English that the Ender Dragon made her but she doesnt know how, and that it's bad and needs to be killed for the sake of Endermen and that's the new goal. Spoiler they're the corrupted souls of those that died fighting it, with it gone Endermen are free to exist as their own being and do whatever, hurray!

#cosmic entity's art #minecraft #mob talker mod #mc creeper #mc zombie #mc skeleton #mc spider #mc blaze #mc enderman #character design

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trensu · 5 years ago

Text

Episode 49: The One with Too Much JGY and Not Enough Wangxian

Very little wangxiantics in this episode, guys, there’s like, VERY LITTLE wangxiantics

The fact that the show is bringing us down to breadcrumbs again is Homophobic

But let’s get through this!

blah blah blah jgy acts all pathetic blah blah blah lxc engages jgy in a convo blah blah

lwj has to go in and be like, bro, please, don't talk to him

and wwx is like, yeah, you literally just told jc not to talk to him, follow your own advice dude

lxc is like, hm, you make a good point...i shall continue talking to jgy regardless

jgy continues with his pity party speech and i continue not to care

BUT THEN LXC KNEELS DOWN TO SPEAK WITH JGY MORE INTIMATELY????

WTF LXC STOP THAT RIGHT NOW

lwj is like BRO

lxc is like I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING BRO

and i'm like DO YOU THO?

now he's going to question jgy and counting on him answering truthfully??

WHAT HAS HE DONE TO MAKE YOU THINK HE'LL DO ANYTHING BUT LIE, ZEWU JUN??

so we get a much less entertaining Q&A session accompanied by jgy's flashbacks

(can we go back to lwj's drunken Q&A sesh? I’d much rather question drunk!lwj than sober!jgy)

the only point i had any actual sympathy was when jgy brings up qin su and her mom bc qin su and her mother deserved better

Ooh, lxc is getting super judgy about jgy killing jgs

This is where you draw the line, lxc?? c’mon.

i mean, judge him for how he did it, sure

there was no need to involve all those innocent women in the murder

but really, killing jgs was the only good act of public service jgy did

give credit where it's due, pal.

HELL YEAH IT'S BITCH-SLAP JGY TIME AGAIN

LOL EVEN WWX AND LWJ LOOK SURPRISED THAT LXC DID THAT

oh noooo lxc is asking about jzx and oh, wwx is PISSED

Wwx grabs the front of jgy's robes and hauls him up and yells in his face “WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO? SAY IT!”

cue flashback scene to jgy tricking jzx

AND NOW MY BRATTY SON IS YANKING THE FRONT OF JGY'S ROBES SCREAMING WHY? WHY? TELL ME WHY DID YOU HAVE TO DO IT??

HIS VOICE IS ALL CRACKED AND HOARSE AND HE'S CRYING

I WANT TO WRAP HIM UP IN BLANKETS AND COZY THINGS AND PROTECT HIM FROM ALL THE BAD THINGS IN THE WORLD

jl collapses to his knees and my beautiful sunshine boy falls to his side and scoops him into his arms

BC WWX LOVES HIS BRATTY NEPHEW AND GOD DAMN IT, JL DESERVES HUGS AND AFFECTION

oh jgy was about to touch jl's face and i was like DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE I WILL CUT THAT HAND OFF YOU

but then he pulled away bc i am very fearsome actually wwx was glaring at him

and ofc jgy can't have people being sympathetic to anyone NOT him so he's like, what about me, huh? you never ask why I personally had to suffer!

Cue another flashback in which JGS IS A FUCKING DOUCHEBAG

I HOPE HE ROTS IN ANCIENT FANTASY CHINA HELL

HALF OF THE PROBLEMS WERE A RESULT OF HIM NOT BEING ABLE TO KEEP IT IN HIS FUCKING PANTS

ROBES

WHATEVER

ugh i hate jgy too

he's essentially telling jin ling that oh, i killed your father bc your grandfather was scum of the earth

AS IF JZX AND JL DESERVED TO SUFFER FOR JGS'S SINS

FUCK YOU JGY

suddenly jgy takes my bratty son hostage!!

wwx shouts "JIN LING" as he jerks towards his only nephew

BUT IT'S TOO LATE, jgy already has that garrote AROUND JL'S NECK

WIPE THAT SMUG SMIRK OFF YOUR FACE SU SHE

I WILL END YOU

god i need to stop threatening people, i have no ability to back it up

lol jc is like WWX YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO TAKE ALL HIS WEAPONS AWAY!!

and wwx is like I DID!

siblings always find time to bicker, even in dire situations

lwj tells them that jgy hid the garrote inside his body

bc lwj is smart and observant

but ewwww, the idea of yanking that gold string out of a vein squicks the hell out of me

yuckyuckyuck it makes my skin crawl

jgy tightens the string around my bratty son's neck and everyone freaks out, obvs

oh jc loves his nephew so much! he's all like, if you need a hostage take me instead and leave jin ling alone!!

JC IS A GREAT UNCLE, JC LOVES HIS FAMILY SO MUCH, JC DESERVES TO RECONCILE WITH HIS BROTHER AND HAVE A LOVING HAPPY FAMILY

jgy is like, nah bc of Reasons

then my sunshine boy is like, hey aren't you forgetting smth jgy? what about your loyal lackey here?

but ss is an idiot and is like, don't worry about me boss!

and jgy is all, cool thx lackey

now lxc and jgy do some more chitchat i don't care about

suddenly there is ominous knocking on the doors AND A WILD LAN SIZHUI APPEARS!!!

He got chucked into the temple like the football lol

NOW WEN NING IS HERE! HE’S COVERED WITH RESENTFUL ENERGY, CARRYING BAXIA LIKE A BADASS

Dude, for real, wn looks so cool here

letting the tip of the saber scrape ominously against the stone ground and walking with slow measured steps

and baxia is freaking glowing

nhs calls him "brother" but i'm pretty sure he knows it's not nmj and just said it to freak jgy out

wwx ofc recognizes wen ning

AHHHHHH WWX IS DOING HIS EERIE WHISTLE AGAIN, I LOVE IT WHEN HE DOES THAT

SO COOL, WWX, SO COOL!!

his brow is all furrowed when he sees wn is not reacting and he starts to whistle more earnestly

wwx: what's happening? why is wn not listening to me? could it be...?

cut to lwj, looking all serious bc hey, this is actually a serious situation

lwj: he is possessed by the blade spirit

wn roars and vaults over the distance between him and jgy with baxia raised high and it looks freaking AWESOME

lol we get a quick shot here of nhs panicking and ducking behind su she

jgy lets go of the gold string around jl's neck to flee from wn which gives wwx an opening

Wwx dives forward and wraps himself around jin ling

Then he twirls them to the side away from incoming baxia and crashes them both to the ground where they're safe

as this is happening, lwj sees his opening and draws bichen

we get a quick moment where wwx and jc are both fussing over jl, it’s super sweet!

AND THEN WE GET A SHOT OF JGY'S DISEMBODIED ARM

THE CAMERA STARTS TO TILT UPWARDS

WE SEE THE HEM OF LWJ'S PRISTINE WHITE ROBES FRAMED BY BICHEN

BICHEN HAS RIVULETS OF BLOOD STREAMING DOWN THE BLADE

THE CAMERA CONTINUES TO TILT UPWARD UNTIL WE SEE LWJ STANDING TALL, FACE GRIM AND SERIOUS AND JUST OVERALL HOLDING HIMSELF IN AN IMPOSING BADASS WAY

wwx is looking at him like HOLY SHIT LWJ

Which is a totally reasonable reaction bc holy shit lwj

HA, now jgy only has one arm

I may not be able to follow up on my threats but it is gratifying to see lwj follow through for me lololol

gross, ss is all begging for medicine to help jgy

stfu ss, nobody likes either of you two

wn's blow struck the ground and cracked it before so now he's back up doing his steady creepy walk to finish what he was going to do

lwj's brow furrows and he sits himself down, cross-legged and summons his guqin

lol i love how he summons his instrument tbh

he just wooshes his flowy sleeves and his guqin glitters into existence

it looks very Magical Girl and i appreciate that

someone needs to draw lwj in a Magical Girl outfit IMMEDIATELY

lxc gets his flute out and our lan bros do a duet to chill out the angry sword spirit

LOL WEN NING JUST STEPS ON JGY'S CHOPPED OFF ARM

DO IT AGAIN WN 😆😆😆

let me just say, i'm really enjoying watching jgy and ss cower away from the oncoming wen ning

but oh noo! jl calls out for his evil uncle and draws wn's attention and wn tries to attack him

i guess baxia senses jgy's blood on jl's robes or smth? Idk, doesn’t matter

wwx tries to do some sort of spell to stop wn but it doesn't work and in a fit of panic he yells out “WEN QIONGLIN!”

thankfully this snaps wn out of it enough that he stops baxia like, one inch from my bratty son's face

the lan bros are still doing their Magic Music thing and wn is trying to reign in baxia but baxia's pissed off so everyone’s struggling

wwx starts his whistling again and it's rattling Plot Device 3

lxc tries to stop wwx but lwj shakes his head at his brother like no, back off

wwx turns to look at lwj, lwj meets his eyes and gives him a single solemn nod

AND WWX SMILES AT HIM BC HIS SOULMATE BELIEVES IN HIS ABILITIES AND TRUSTS HIM!!!

this is the first legit proper wangxiantic moment in the whole episode, what the heck

GIVE ME MORE WANGXIAN AND LESS JGY, PLZ & THX

jc: wei wuxian!!

wwx turns to see his brother and jc FLINGS THE DEMON FLUTE AT WWX bc apparently he's been carrying chenqing around THIS WHOLE TIME??

wwx nods to him (and omg jc is helping him, this is good, this is a step in the right direction!!) and brings chenqing to his lips

we get a shot of lwj staring at wwx as wwx starts to play

and the background music starts to get SUPER INTENSE and EXCITING as wwx plays

CHENQING STARTS TO OOZE THAT SMOKY RESENTFUL MAGIC STUFF

we get a shot of JC watching wwx play and this is the softest we've seen him look at his brother since he came back from the dead

he's looking at him like it's finally hitting him that wwx is back, his big brother is alive and here and protecting him and jin ling bc that's what family is supposed to do

AND IF I CAN’T HAVE WANGXIANTICS, I WILL ACCEPT YUNMENG BROS TIME AS RECOMPENSE

oooh, Plot Device 3 starts to zoom around and we get a fun bit of camera work so it seems like we're seeing everything from Plot Device 3's perspective

which is kind of adorable for some reason???

it's just zipping along and it sees wwx and wwx guides its attention to where wn is struggling to control baxia

wwx starts to walk, getting both baxia and Plot Device 3 to follow him further into the temple

lwj sees this happening and whooshes away his guqin and follows bc he's always going to follow wwx obvs

WWX IS SO AWESOME, I LOVE WATCHING HIM WORK

EVERYBODY IS STARING AT HIM IN AWE AS THEY SHOULD BE BC MY SUNSHINE BOY IS SKILLED AS HECK

he manages to get baxia into the coffin with nmj before he starts coughing up blood

But before we can freak out about that, nhs scream in the background

so everyone runs to check out what's happening there

nhs is all SS WHY'D YOU TRY TO KILL ME OMG MY LEG IS ALL CUT UP NOW, EVERYTHING IS AWFUL, HELP HELP

and ss is like BUT I DIDN'T, HE'S LYING!!!

lol baxia just leaps out of the coffin buries itself in ss's chest

AND THAT’S IT FOR SU SHE

good fucking riddance

But also baxia is nmj's saber

DID IT HEAR NHS AND BE LIKE, NO I CAN'T LET MY MASTER'S BELOVED LITTLE BROTHER GET HURT BY THIS USELESS NOBODY???

BAXIAAAAAA

WHAT A GOOD SABER YOU ARE *CRIES*

wwx starts up his demon flute again even tho baxia seems much more chill now that it has finally killed someone

But let's watch wwx be a badass on the flute anyway

look at my sunshine boy go!

look at him corral all that resentful energy!

love my sunshine boy

baxia is finally subdued and wwx lays it and Plot Device 3 in the coffin with nmj

he covers the coffin using some of his wicked awesome red magic stuff

but it's taking a lot out of him i guess bc he stumbles back and lwj is right there to catch him

bc they're soulmates and they love each other

aND GOD THE WAY THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER HERE

JUST, UGH

EVERY TIME THEY LOOK AT EACH OTHER MY HEART GETS PALPITATIONS

And this is the only other wangxiantic moment in this episode, wtf show

cut to the next scene, everyone's patching up wounds and whatever

lol we can hear nhs whining like a baby bc omg it hurts it hurts, lxc be more gentle

and lxc is like, chill bro it's just a stab wound

nhs is like JUST a stab wound?? r u kidding me, i'm DYING!!

Which is exactly how i would react to a stab wound lol

now lxc is with jgy and he's like jgy if you do ONE more bad thing, i will definitely finally punish you mercilessly

then he starts checking out his armless shoulder bc lxc really is too good and not all that bright apparently

lol when wwx sees lxc tending to jgy's wounds and his face is like ugh i can't believe this guy

AND THIS IS WHEN WE GET THAT AMAZING AWESOME SHOT OF NHS'S FACE GOING ALL SERIOUS AND, LIKE, VENOMOUS

WE ONLY SEE PART OF HIS FACE, THE OTHER PART COVERED BY LXC'S OUT OF FOCUS FACE

AND NHS GLOWERS AT JGY

oh, my poor sunshine boy is wincing and holding a cloth to his STILL SLUGGISHLY BLEEDING NECK WOUND

SOMEBODY GIVE MY SUNSHINE BOY MEDICINE

TAKE WHATEVER LXC GAVE TO JGY AND GIVE IT TO MY SUNSHINE BOY STAT

lsz is watching him very intently bc he's figuring out some things about himself and wwx that LWJ DIDN'T HAVE THE GOOD GRACE TO EXPLAIN TO EITHER OF THEM YET

lwj ofc has got his eyes glued on wwx bc, i mean, what else is there worth looking at in the Temple of Doom?

And i guess this counts as a wangxiantic too bc lsz is basically wangxian’s love child anyway!

lxc has the gall to ask nhs to hand him the medicine bottle to tend to FUCKING JGY'S (AKA HIS BIG BROTHER’S MURDERER) WOUNDS

GOD JUST LET JGY BLEED OUT AND DIE ALREADY

nhs is like sure! grabs the medicine bottle and hides it in his robes

he makes a whole show out of rooting around in his robes to ‘find’ it and lxc goes to him to grab it or whatever so his back is turned to jgy

AND NHS, THAT CLEVER CLEVER BOY, USES THIS CHANCE

he makes a show of looking over lxc's shoulder and shouts LXC LOOK OUT!!

lxc grabs his sword and whirls around and stabs it right into jgy

and nhs is all stuttery and nervously saying how omg he saw jgy reach behind him and he thought he was gonna do something awful so he panicked

Then jgy finally sees nhs AND THAT'S WHERE THE EPISODE ENDS

So another episode with way too much plot stuff, yuck

I mean, we only got 3 actual wangxian moments??

What is that about, huh? THAT’S NOT EVERY GAY RIGHTS OF YOU, SHOW!

The next episode is THE LAST and we’re definitely getting wangxiantics there and i will definitely cry about it

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql #i've had this sitting in my drafts for most of the week #i didn't want to post it until i got around to watching the last ep #but the world keeps conspiring against me #so i figure i'll post it now #and try to watch the last ep...later #i'm almost done with this project omg #i'm already feeling nostalgic about it

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mitcheemarns · 6 years ago

Note

Mitch/Auston—#46!

46 - “Dance with me.” Mitch/Auston

okay so a few warnings before the prompt. there’s a hostage situation that occurs in the fic, so prepare for that. the fic’s also like 2k so it’s kinda long. i don’t think the anon was expecting this when they asked for this prompt lol, im sorry.

Auston takes a deep breath in, exhaling silently. He’s trying to keep calm in a room so filled with fear. It hadn’t taken long for people to start crying out and screaming when the bank was compromised.

The resounding bang of the warning shots fired into the ceiling still rings throughout Auston’s mind. It’s hard to focus on his thoughts when the pump of adrenaline courses so strong through his veins. His hands are shaking from their positions on the back of his head. His knees hurt, bare skin on the cold marble of the ground.

The demands from the robbers are barked out in a vicious tone. They threaten the tellors with vehemence, all evil and imposing in the mismatched black of their outfits.

“Give me the fucking money!” one of them screams at the lady sitting behind the main counter.

She’s crying, crouched away from the man and his gun. Her entire body is visibly shaking. She sobs. “I don’t have any more.”

“What? Is that all you have?” the man guffaws maliciously, pulling back the slide of his gun and flipping the safety off.

She screams from fear; it’s tangible, Auston can feel it ten metres away.

The man points the gun closer to her, “give me a fucking answer!”

“I don’t know,” she cries out, hugging herself tighter and shielding her head.

The man sneers, firing a bullet into the side of the counter and drawing various gasps and screams from all the other clients and tellers in the bank. “Who knows where the other cash is?”

There’s no sound, except the wailing of a boy. Auston looks around, mindful of the other men keeping the perimeter secured. It isn’t long before he locates the boy, only five or six, kneeling alone on the ground with a stuffed bunny. He isn’t far away, only a few feet or so. Auston bites his lip, unhappy with the terror the child is subjected to.

He looks in his direction, and decides to do it despite the pounding fear in his chest. He slides closer to the kid, hoping no one sees him. A boot on his back knocks him down heavily, all the breath struck from his lungs.

He hears the cock of a gun and tenses.

“What the fuck are you doing?” a voice atop of him sneers.

Auston grits his teeth, and thinks of Mitch.

***

“Dude,” Mitch said, lounging on the couch in one of his better outfits.

Auston turned around with a smile, running a hand through his hair with some gel. “What?”

“Can we just, like, not go?” Mitch asked, rolling on his back so Auston only saw his face upside down.

“What, on the date?” Auston adjusted his shirt, pulling it across his shoulders evenly. He walked towards Mitch, settling down heavily on the spot beside him.

“Yeah,” Mitch whined, flopping into Auston’s lap instead. “I’m so tired.”

Auston grinned and knocked the red bull hat from Mitch’s head, throwing it to a random corner of their living room. There was a squawk from Mitch that was quickly silenced as Auston stroked his hair reverently.

“You sure you don’t want to go to that fancy, new restaurant?”

Mitch turned to face Auston and pouted. There was a snort from Auston as he bent down and pecked Mitch on the lips.

“Fine then,” Auston said, pinching Mitch on the cheeks.

“Ow,” Mitch mumbled, smacking away Auston’s hand. “You hurt me. Make it up to me, asshole.”

Auston smiled silently as he kept carding through Mitch’s short hair. “Yeah? What do you want?”

Mitch closed his eyes and hummed, reaching up to give Auston’s cheek a few pats. It took a few seconds before his eyes burst open again, surprising Auston a little. He stared into the vivid blue for a while before Mitch had enough of it and turned his head away shyly.

Mitch jumped up from Auston’s lap suddenly, grabbing his phone on the way up. Auston stared at him in blank confusion as Mitch tapped open a slow song.

“Dance with me,” he smiled as he set his phone down.

Auston groaned as he got up and Mitch started his incomprehensible dance moves.

“It’s times like these when I wonder why I couldn’t have gotten a ‘Jake’,” Auston mumbled, taking a stride towards Mitch.

“Hey,” Mitch protested. Auston wasn’t sure what it was referring to. He had clutched one of Mitch’s wrists and pulled him towards his chest.

“Isn’t this so much better?” he smiled as he held Mitch loosely, swaying side to side amidst the gentle melody of the music.

Mitch settled his head on Auston’s shoulder and wrapped his arms tighter around his torso, humming contentedly. “Yeah.”

***

Auston exhales as much as he can with his face pressed into the cold ground. He can see the boy whimpering in his peripheral vision. The fear still tugs at his heart, his constant worry of going back to Mitch throbbing painfully.

“Just let me help that boy,” he spits out, trying to eye the man currently pinning him down. He knows there’s a loaded gun in his hands, so he doesn’t try anything funny to get himself shot.

“Why should I let you do that?” the man scoffs. His voice is so high-pitched; it grates at Auston’s eardrums.

“Look, if he doesn’t cry, then you guys won’t have shit to worry about either. He’s just a kid.”

Auston would love to show the man what he’s made of, drag him through the dirt a little.

The pressure on his back lightens. The man laughs mockingly at him. “Go ahead then. Don’t try anything stupid. I’d hate to traumatise the ‘kid’.”

Auston resists the urge to roll his eyes directly at the man and shoulders himself free. He tries not to mumble under his breath as he shuffles silently towards the boy, currently huddled close to a wall.

Auston can see that he’s scared shitless, tears welling up disastrously in those wide eyes. The bunny is clenched so hard in his hands that his knuckles are white. Auston moves closer and the boy whimpers and cowers away, screwing his eyes shut tightly.

“Hey,” Auston whispers with a smile, staying a feet away from the boy. The boy opens one eye, still sitting in a tight ball. “What’s your name? I’m Auston.”

The whimpering stops and both the boy’s eyes open. “Auston? Like Auston Matthews?”

“Yeah,” Auston smiles. “That’s a cool bunny you got there.”

“His name is Mitch,” the boy utters, examining the gray, felt rabbit with wide eyes. “Like Mitch Marner.”

“Mitch Marner, huh?” Auston repeats with a gentle tone. “Is he your favourite hockey player?”

“Uh huh,” the boy nods, eyes expressing his sad awe.

“He’s my favourite hockey player too.” Auston shuffles a little closer. “Do you want to stay with me?”

The boy nods again, reaching a hand out. Auston’s heart clenches a little more, and grasps it firmly but delicately. His hand is so small, Auston notes. His mind wanders a little to how Mitch would react to this little boy with a stuffed bunny named Mitch. He’d be ecstatic.

“I’m Alex,” the boy mumbles, syllables tripping over each other.

Auston smiles. “Nice to meet you Alex.” The boy, Alex, smiles back nervously. He’s still scared, but much less now. Auston tucks a strand of brown hair behind his ear and corrals him close, shielding him from the criminals.

“Is your mom here, Alex?” Auston asks, looking down.

He shakes his head and hugs his bunny closer.

“Do you know where she is?”

He shakes his head again. He threatens to tear up again.

“Hey,” Auston whispers. “We’ll find her, okay?”

Alex looks up at him. “Do you promise?”

Auston breaks a little. “I’ll try my best.”

Alex’s feeble “okay” is drowned out by the shouts of the men dressed in all black.

“Why did you fucking do that?” the leader shouts at another teller sitting behind the front desk. “Why did you press the fucking button?”

Shit, Auston thinks. Things don’t typically end well like this.

“Well, now we gotta fucking look for an actual hostage, don’t we?” the same man announces loudly.

The teller sobs. “Please don’t take me, I have children at home.”

The man sneers, not letting up his gun, “would you rather a pregnant woman go?”

The teller is still sobbing. The leader scoffs.

Auston looks at Alex, whose eyes are wide open with fear. He looks at the bunny thinks of Mitch.

***

“Smile,” Auston said, sticking his phone in Mitch’s face. Mitch reacted ridiculously, holding out two peace signs instead.

Auston laughed and Mitch focused just enough to join Auston. “You’re so dumb.”

“Yeah,” Mitch smiled. “But so are you.”

Auston looked around, making sure none of the other patrons were looking at them. He turned his phone off, stopping the recording, and grabbed Mitch’s hand. He pressed a quick kiss to it before throwing it back under the table like nothing had happened.

Mitch beamed at him. “What was that for?”

Auston shrugged. He had felt such a strong surge of love that had overwhelmed him. He had had to do something.

“You know I love you right?” Auston said, staring at Mitch playing around with the salt shaker.

Mitch rolled his eyes, still messing around with the cap of the shaker. “Yes, Auston. And I love you. If you didn’t know that already.”

Auston smiled. “When the commercial goes out, I hope people see how much we love each other.”

Mitch’s face softened. “Yeah. I don’t think they’ll be able to mistake it.”

Auston wanted to hold Mitch’s hand. Right out there in the public.

He’s distracted from the thought when the salt spills from the shaker. Auston facepalmed, not really surprised at how Mitch managed to do that.

“Whoops?” Mitch smiled. Auston only sighed. It was endearing.

***

Fuck, Auston thinks. He wants to be with Mitch.

He hopes Mitch understands why he has to do it.

“Alex?” Auston asks.

The boy looks at him.

“Do you see that lady over there?”

Alex turns his head in the direction Auston is pointing in.

“Yes,” he says quietly, clutching his rabbit.

“I’m going to go to the bad guy, okay?” Auston says carefully. “We’re going to go to that lady and you’re going to stay with her. Is that okay?”

Alex looks at Auston in fear. “What?”

“Someone needs to go to the bad guys, right? I don’t want it to be anyone else.”

“But… we’re going to find my mommy together,” Alex says, staring at Auston with wide, trembling eyes.

“We will,” Auston says. “But first, we have to make sure no one else gets hurt, right?”

Alex nods slowly, but still a little unsure of what Auston is trying to do.

“Here, come on,” Auston urges. “We don’t have much time.”

They shuffle along the wall to the lady dressed in pink without much trouble. All the robbers are focused on shouting at the teller who had set off the emergency alarm and alerted the police. The look Auston had received when the lady had recognized him was full of respect. It had turned into wary reverence when Auston had explained to her what he wanted to do.

He leaves Alex with a hug and a pat to the head.

“You’ll be alright, okay?” Auston smiles, heart beating rapidly in his chest.

“Don’t go,” Alex says, clutching at him tightly. His arms are wrapped around Auston like a vice, face screwed tightly in sadness and fear.

“I’ll be okay, too,” Auston says. “I’ll introduce you to Mitch someday.”

The boy looks up at him with teary eyes. He sniffles. “Here,” he says. “Take Mitchy.” Alex offers the rabbit to him with an honest expression.

“Are you sure?” Auston asks. He feels tears prickling behind his own eyes.

“Yeah, he helps me when I’m scared. Maybe he’ll help you too.”

Auston smiles at Alex again, taking Mitch the rabbit from him and squeezing him one more time. “Thank you, Alex. I’ll see you soon.”

“Hey! Assholes!” Auston shouts as he moves away from Alex and the lady.

There are five guns trained on him within seconds. “What do you want?” the leader snarls.

Auston gulps down his fear as he sticks Mitch the rabbit in the back pocket of his jeans and raises his hands in the air. “I’ll be your fucking hostage, okay? Don’t hurt anyone else.”

The leader laughs, nodding to his other commandants. “Did you hear that? Take ‘im boys.”

It takes only a few seconds for them to wrestle him into a corner, where two men have guns trained on him at all times.

“Alright then,” the leader says.

Auston exhales, looking down at his lap with his hands on the back of his head. He looks in Alex’s direction and meets his eyes. He tries to give him a reassuring smile, but from the way Alex is crying silently again, he doesn’t think it helped.

It isn’t long before some random guy is trying to take down the men with his bare hands. Auston swears in his head and feels the fear grow inside his chest. Things have gone south.

“I love you Mitch” is the last thought in Auston’s head when he hears the shots ring out.

#asks #anon #my writing #fic stuff #hockey rpf #ship: they love each other #1634 #this has been in my head for a while now #not edited #ill post a new fic on ao3 thatll be edited

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elcorhamletlive · 6 years ago

Text

MCU Rewatch: Spider-Man: Homecoming

(Doctor Strange isn’t making my life easy and I can’t wait for him right now lol so Spider-Man it is! I WILL include DS in this rewatch, though. At some point)

It’s really cool that the drawing tips us off that the Vulture has a daughter right on the first scene.

I feel like the second scene, though... is unnecessary. Like, seeing the Vulture with his suit kind of kills the impact of seeing him during the movie. We already know he’s up to no good - we didn’t need the extra scene.

Peter’s vlog is really cute.

“I don’t know how jobs work” is such a great dialogue. lol

Ok, I have a lot of... mildly negative feelings about several choices in this movie, but it’s hard to complain about the casting because of all the racist backlash it got for being diverse, and I don’t want to add to this chorus by any means. Still... the fact that Flash just doesn’t look like a popular douchebag really kills the effect of his scenes, to me. Like... couldn’t they find an actor that was, I don’t know, a little bit taller than Tom Holland? He looks like someone who would totally sit at Peter and Ned’s table at lunch, not like a bully that’s been harrassing Peter for years. There certainly were ways of keeping these aspects of the character and still having a non-white actor, I think.

Just... stop making people point out Aunt May is young and pretty. I get it, it’s a meta joke because we’re used to having her be an old lady, but boy is it annoying.

I do love the detail of Peter saving the cat.

This is the movie where my Happy annoyance goes off the chart. Shut up, Happy. He’s doing the best he can and all you do is dismiss him at every turn.

May totally thinks Peter and Ned are fucking, doesn’t she? lol

Laura Harrier, otoh, is perfect casting. She’s so pretty and she just really has the air of Liz’s general high school archetype.

See, this Vulture arrival could have been so cool if we hadn’t been shown the suit in the first few minutes of the movie.

I feel like the fact that Tony handles Peter in the worst possible way in this movie (”because I said so” is soooo not an argument you should throw in a discussion with anyone, but especially not a teenager) is both something I like because I feel makes sense for his character and that frustrates me because it’s another thing his fandom just ignores.

“I thought it was the anti-gravity gun” really dude? Isn’t this scene supposed to show us how ruthless you are? This... is such a weird line that kind of totally undemines that.

“I just wanna thank you for letting me be a part of your journey” Ned is my favorite part of this movie. lol

Thinking about Flash... I feel like maybe the thing is that Flash here isn’t supposed to be cool at all, and it’s just that this version of Peter Parker is not an unpopular bullied kid, but a regular kid who’s actually well-liked by most of his classmates except this one asshole dude who no one else really likes? Which, sure, I mean, it’s a valid story to tell, but it’s just... not that appealing to me. I feel like Peter is not enough of the underdog in this movie, most of the time.

The scene where he stalls with Karen is really fun, though. lol

The scene at the Washington Monument is also really great. Lots of tension and really fun.

I fucking love how awkward Steve looks in those PSAs. I also love that he straddles the chair, because it’s such a non-Steve thing to do, so it really seems like he’s just trying to be cool, like “this is how kids sit these days, right?”.

Also, the director is Morita’s descendant, right? I hope the government was like “stop playing these PSAs” and he was just like “fuck that noise” and kept playing anyway in Morita’s memory.

“I got a nephew who lives here” I’m waiting, MCU.............. give us the pay off we deserve.

I have so many mixed feelings about the scene with Tony. On one hand, I get that this is supposed to be low point of the movie, so Peter screwing up makes sense, but... Tony, couldn’t you have TOLD him you had called the FBI? Why did you just say “yeah yeah, whatever, someone else will handle it” and then not update him about serious shit that HE had discovered? It’s weird, because I feel like Tony is framed as correct here by the narrative, and I really don’t think he is.

I do like the “and I wanted you to be better” line.

Peter and Liz are super cute. And the montage of May preparing Peter to prom is also adorable.

The Vulture reveal still works. It’s a GREAT moment.

“prototype for Cap’s new shield” is a line the Stony fandom has absolutely not taken enough advantage off. Tony just sitting around making Steve new shields? Even though they’re not talking? I live.

I... really dislike how Peter’s Big Hero moment is made to be about the whole “being nothing without the suit” thing. This... just isn’t his narrative? It just feels like the movie is taking Tony’s narrative and imposing it over Peter, and it feels like something we’ve already seen.

And the last scene... Part of me likes that Tony is like “that was totally a tough love moment that you needed, right? right????” because it shows a little how he doesn’t know what he’s doing, but I wish he had apologized. And the fact that he’s got the reporters room ready to go, when, by the Accords, he’d NEED to make Peter remove his mask... I don’t know, I really don’t like a lot of the narrative choices made with Tony in this movie. I think on this aspect, it’s worse than Ultron.

LOL AND THERE IS THE PROPOSAL. The world’s most awkward, anticlimatic proposal. Honestly, as a Stony shipper, I kind of love it, because it’s so bad it becomes incredibly easy to write around.

Aaaand it’s over. Ngl, this is among my least favorite MCU movies. It just... doesn’t... touch me in any particular way? Like, I like a few things about it, but the overall narrative just doesn’t grab me. It’s not a BAD movie, but it’s a little... Meh.

#mcu rewatch #welcome to my most unpopular mcu opinion #mcu negativity #mild ship negativity

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so-shiny-so-chrome · 6 years ago

Text

Witness: Battle_Cat

Creator name (AO3): battle_cat

Creator name (Tumblr): fuckyeahisawthat

Link to creator works: https://archiveofourown.org/users/battle_cat/works

Q: Why the Mad Max Fandom?

A: Fury Road blew my goddamn mind. I like action movies and female action protagonists, but nothing has ever quite hit me like Fury Road. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I had never written fanfic and didn't know what ao3 was, but the characters just wouldn't leave my head. I started seeking out meta on Tumblr, and many of the people who were writing and sharing great meta were also writing fic, and at some point I started thinking, hey, this is a thing I can do. And then I did it, A LOT.

Q: What do you think are some defining aspects of your work? Do you have a style? Recurrent themes?

A: Smut smut and more smut, lol! And sometimes action. I really like writing about intense physical experiences and the emotions they generate. I come from a screenwriting background, so I tend to be terse and am always thinking about how to say the most with the fewest words possible. I love writing characters who find it very hard to talk about their feelings, so Max and Furiosa are pretty much perfect for me.

Q: Which of your works was the most fun to create? The most difficult? Which is your most popular? Most successful? Your favourite overall?

A: Ahhh I can't pick between all of my children! AO3 statistics says Zero to Sixty, my Max-and-Furiosa-get-together fic, is my most popular by hits, kudos and bookmarks, which is not surprising given that it was written early in the fandom. I don't think I can pick a favorite but I have a lot of love for: Desperate Measures, Her Reputation Precedes Her, Hard Run, Tough to be Tender, and Scarf Thing. The only fic I'm still slightly unhappy with: Equinox. I feel like I set up some great tension and then wrapped it up too quickly.

Q: How do you like your wasteland? Gritty? Hopeful? Campy? Soft? Why?

A: Hard but with some humanity left still.

Q: Walk us through your creative process from idea to finished product. What's your prefered environment for creating? How do you get through rough patches?

A: Most of my short pieces are really just a single scene, sometimes with setup and aftermath. Sometimes I'll start with an image (like one of @youkaiyume's excellent smut drawings) or a concept or idea for the scene. Something short, like under 2,000 words, I will ideally sit down and write in one draft, maybe in a day or two. I don't do a lot of drafts, although I do somewhat edit as I go. Something longer like a multi-chapter fic, I usually have a separate Word document with notes and a very rough outline. I usually have the ending or the big climactic scene in my head before I've got everything in the middle figured out. If I'm struggling with something, I'll usually step away and just let my brain chew on it for a while, until I figure out what about it isn't working for me. I learned in grad school that your brain can be doing a lot of creative heavy lifting while you're off doing other things.

Q: What (if any) music do you listen to for help getting those creative juices flowing?

A: I'm not much of a music person, tbh. I have gotten inspiration from fanart, Tumblr submissions and kinkmeme prompts, though.

Q: What is your biggest challenge as a creator?

A: Finding enough time and energy to write. I'm someone who needs big chunks of time to let my brain get into the creative state and this whole having to have a job thing is a real drag.

Q: How have you grown as a creator through your participation in the Mad Max Fandom? How has your work changed? Have you learned anything about yourself?

A: When I saw Fury Road, I had been in a serious writing drought for the better part of a year. I was frustrated and feeling very hopeless about the filmmaking world. Even under the best of conditions, filmmaking is an incredibly slow process with a lot of gatekeepers. Being able to just write something, put it on ao3 and get instant feedback was an incredible breath of fresh air. I remembered my love of writing and found a whole new creative community. I started exploring a new genre, erotica, and learned that I love it. I started writing prose again after a long period of focusing on screenwriting, and gained a new appreciation for what can be done in the short story format.

Q: Which character do you relate to the most, and how does that affect your approach to that character? Is someone else your favourite to portray? How has your understanding of these characters grown through portraying them?

A: Furiosa is the character who lives in my head most vividly. She has a lot of characteristics I tend to put in my original female characters: a certain ruthlessness and hardness; hypercompetence combined with standoffishness punctuated by a few key moments of vulnerability.

Q: Do you ever self-insert, even accidentally?

A: I don't really like talking about characters as self-inserts. I think every character has some part of you in them whether you're aware of it or not.

Q: Do you have any favourite relationships to portray? What interests you about them?

A: Maxiosa for sure. I already had a pattern before Fury Road of writing hard women and caring men, so Furiosa and Max fit right into that. They are both incredibly damaged people who have been the victims and the perpetrators of violence, have a lot of self-loathing, have been isolated in various ways for a long time, and are used to having no one to trust. Bringing those two people together and watching them slowly allow themselves to trust each other is very powerful.

Q: How does your work for the fandom change how you look at the source material?

A: Fury Road is an incredibly rich text and there are so many things that are only hinted at, left unexplained or implied. I've lost count of how many times I've watched it at this point, but there are always more details to notice and spin headcanons about.

Q: Do you prefer to create in one defined chronology or do your works stand alone? Why or why not?

A: For MMFR, I started out writing mostly short smutty one-shots. At a certain point it made sense to start stringing them together, and the ones that take place in the same timeline are now roughly in order in the series Together. It happened organically, though - I tend to write my longer stories non-chronologically anyway, so at some point I realized I was constructing a giant smut novel.

Q: To break or not to break canon? Why?

A: Ehn, I am pretty agnostic on this. Sometimes sticking to canon can be a fun limitation you impose on your story. Other times, ignoring it can be a fun what-if.

Q: Share some headcanons.

A: Ace definitely lived. Nux definitely died historic. Valkyrie is alive in some of my stories and not in others. Dag's baby is a girl and she names her Angharad. Max comes and goes from the Citadel, staying for increasingly longer periods of time. Furiosa often wants to leave, but feels too much responsibility to the new Citadel to ever let herself.

Q: If you work with OCs walk us through your process for creating them. Who are some of your favourites?

A: I haven't created a lot of OCs in the Mad Max world because the canon characters are just so interesting to explore. But when I do they just kind of pop up. Biltong from the story Her Reputation Precedes Her is a personal favorite.

Q: If you create original works, how do those compare to your fan works?

A: My original works are mostly on the action/thriller/horror spectrum. I had never written smut before MMFR, but to me, it's very similar to writing action. You're telling a story through high-intensity physicality and the emotions surrounding it. In my original works, I mostly write female protagonists in high-intensity situations, so it made sense that MMFR would catch my attention.

Q: What are some works by other creators inside and outside of the fandom that have influenced your work?

A: @primarybufferpanel 's Orbit was my fandom gateway drug. @primarybufferpanel, @sacrificethemtothesquid, @lurkinghistoric, @v8roadworrier, @thebyrchentwigges, @thatonezombiecosplayer, @youkaiyume, @ecouter-bien , @bethagain, @fadagaski and @yohunny have all created things that I find inspiring, epic, thrilling, heartbreaking, hot, funny or all of the above. And I'm lucky that I've gotten to know many of them online and in meatspace!

Q: What advice can you give someone who is struggling to make their own works more interesting, compelling, cohesive, etc.?

A: Stop and ask yourself: What does this character want? Why are they doing what they're doing right now? Concretely, what are they trying to achieve? What are the obstacles? What are the consequences if they don't get what they want? If a scene or story isn't working for me, usually it's because I don't know the answer to one of these questions.

Q: Have you visited or do you plan to visit Australia, Wasteland Weekend, or other Mad Max place?

A: I've been to Wasteland Weekend 3 times (2016, '17, '18) with Clan of the Boltcutters, and plan to go again in 2019. It's been so cool watching our camp and the festival grow and change each year. I had never been to anything remotely like Wasteland before I got involved in the Mad Max fandom, and now I can't imagine it not being part of my year. Australia...maybe someday.

Q: Tell us about a current WIP or planned project.

A: While I've been writing in the Venom fandom lately, I do plan to come back at some point and finish Closer, a story I really liked writing that I just haven't gotten time to get back to. I also have a few lingering MMFR projects that will hopefully be completed later this year.

Thank you @fuckyeahisawthat

#Mad Max Fandom Creator Spotlight #Mad Max Fandom Spotlight #fury road fandom #Mad max fandom #mad max fanfic author spotlight #mad max fic #fury road fic

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greystoner · 7 years ago

Note

Do u have a post somewhere abt your ocs? Who are they what do they do!

HOO BOY sorry this took me so long to get to i havent had a lot of spoons

my ocs are all a part of my original story which i still… need to title lmao. or at least, my main 3 ocs are! valére, cosette, and theodore. i have a 4th in the making named apollo but i don’t have a lot down for him yet. and a 5th one will be revealed in the future

i can try to give a description of their original canon (it’s basically like a supernatural/horror/comedy) and then talk about each of Them specifically. i actually have a pinterest board i started making for the story the other night. and the 3 of them have their own individual boards too.

first thing’s first: the setting of the story is primarily in france.

basically in the world there’s a handful of individuals who are very, very sensitive to the supernatural. you can think something like mediums/psychics, but their sensitivity is far beyond those. it starts when they’re a child, seeing supernatural things such as ghosts/spirits etc on a regular basis. each person has different reactions to it of course, but many get so used to it that they don’t realize how Not Normal it really is.

there’s also these supernatural beings i’ve been calling ‘messengers’ for now until i come up with something better. they’re neither good nor evil, necessarily, but they’re generally tasked with fighting off monsters and at times, keeping a close eye on that handful of humans because, obviously, these humans would attract anything supernatural like a moth to a flame. it can put them in a lot of danger. but their main job is to fight off malevolent creatures from the world. the messengers tend to travel between the mortal world and others frequently, and often take the shape of animals or even people. with animals, most try to pick an animal that would easily blend in. so basically birds, cats, dogs, etc. some have one animal they stick with, others change depending on where they’re going.

a lot of the monsters can’t be seen by normal humans, but normal humans can still certainly be affected by them. the monsters that these messengers have to fight off range from imps to goblins right up to thinks that border on eldritch abominations. think a lot like, monsters you’d see in bloodborne or dark souls or w/e.

also messengers can be considered “symbiotic” while demons are “parasitic”. but that’s a whole other worldbuilding post for another time.

BUT ANYWAY ONTO THE CHARACTERS THEMSELVES please be prepared for a shitton of Words and rambling

ok starting with valére. here’s his pinterest board

and here’s a drawing of him a friend of mine did a while back

so valére is kinda like the Main Protag of the story. he’s the one that’s most fleshed out currently. he’s a 39 year old dude of french peruvian descent that was born in marseilles, france. his father’s side of the family were peruvian immigrants and have been in france for a few generations. his mother is french/polish, so val is mixed, but takes a lot more after his father’s side.

he’s a 6′5″ brick wall of muscle and appears intimidating at first, the scars don’t help, but he’s a giant teddybear. he’s very friendly, smiles a lot, laughs a lot, but can be a little odd with his behavior and people can think he’s a little weird because of it.

he grew up in marseilles and had a pretty cozy life. his parents weren’t Rich but were definitely upper class, so they never struggled much. the visions of spirits and whatnot were always present thru his childhood and he never thought much of them, they were just a normal occurrence in his mind. so it was easy for him to ignore them and vice versa, and it was hard for anything malevolent to feed off of him.

he did have some trouble making friends growing up though, mostly because a lot of other kids thought he was a weirdo and he sort of was but without meaning to be. just, when you grow up constantly surrounded by spirits and shit, then it’ gonna kinda shape you in a way. but he’s always been open and kind to others, and hates conflict and will do what he can to avoid it or break it up.

and he was the kind of kid that got hurt a LOT cus he had – and still has – the tendency to be rather reckless. his pain tolerance has always been crazy high. like, by the time he was 6 he had already broken an arm and a leg. he broke his leg on the playground but got back up and tried to play again as if nothing happened and his parents were like WHAT the fuck.

but anyway when he was like 9 he was walking back home from school and he found this giantass pure black owl injured in the gutter and he was like ??? because it was the middle of the city, what’s this fuckin owl doing out here, and why is it hurt? basically it’s hurt really really bad and it could very well die but he hauls this giant bleeding bird up in his arms and it doesnt even try to attack him and he carries it back home and spends hours that day taking care of it with the help of his mom and manages to keep it from dying. then the next few days he takes care of it and feeds it and after they finally released it valére swore for years it thanked him and said it would repay him some day

after that the spooky shit kinda got more intense but he never really thought much of it and just carried on and it seemed like he was the only one that could see any of it anyway. but otherwise things were relatively calm for a while

when he was 20 he was visiting some cousins out in paris. he was leaving a bar at like 3am and he was followed out by some guys. and at this point valére is already a huge dude so basically it takes 4 of these guys to properly get him down and then another slit his mouth which left him with nasty scars. there wasn’t much of a reason for it outside they were assholes and also took all of his money he had on him at the time. right after they left tho, even tho he was bleeding everywhere he got up and basically started walking toward the nearest hospital but not even halfway there someone spotted him and stopped him and called an ambulance LOL but even after that whole ordeal it really didnt put a damper on his overall positive attitude

things were quiet again for a bit but he started finding feathers around his apartment every so often and he’s like ???????

when he’s 22 things go to shit fast and he’s involved in a nasty traffic accident where a truck crashed head-on into his car, and it lands him in the hospital with gashes all over his body, spine broken in multiple places and many other broken bones, and his chance of living was very slim. if he did live, he’d be paralyzed and in a wheelchair for the rest of his life. turns out that owl he saved like 13 years before was this sort of like… spiritual/paranormal agent thing carrying out a mission disguised in that form and it got attacked by a malevolent being the day valére found it. and true to its word it repays him by basically saving his life by transferring its power/essence into him. and of course the doctors and his family things its a miracle etc etc ANYWAy

what mr owl failed to mention was that now that valére had these powers he’s pretty much kinda thrown into The Job as a messenger himself and basically has a duty of hunting down and killing the big scary evil monster demon stupid assholes so hes like cool i guess

he’s just all in all a pretty friendly well-meaning guy even if he looks kind of imposing with his scars and being a 6’5” brick wall of muscle (hes got some squish around his belly tho). and he says weird shit still sometimes and he laughs a lot. and it’s rare to catch him in a bad mood and he tends to avoid people if he is in one. he is very emotional tho and cries really easy. but even tho hes super friendly and welcoming he doesnt get close to people due to the danger of his job and he doesnt wanna wrap anyone else up in it, but even when hes asked why he dodges the question. but after now 17 years of doing that kinda work hes kind of really traumatized from everything hes seen (and also the accident and almost Dying in the hospital) but he hides it very well.

he’s the Dad Friend™

his abilities are: he’s capable of sprouting four black owl wings for flight, invisibility (but he can do selective invisibility, meaning he can make a certain person/people able to see him if he wants), he’s got cool swords he can summon at will that has a lot of powers of its own, and he can also do spatial/time manipulation but it takes a pretty big toll on his body so its kind of only for desperate measures. he can manipulate/control fire. also he can teleport i guess. but if he uses too much of his powers at once he can lose control and basically turn into a freaky monster (i keep imagining the glasgow smile scars tearing open and his teeth r sharp and theres like this black sludge coming out of his mouth… woo) and go on a rampage and then later will be back to normal but it has only happened once when he was still getting used to it and he swears Never Again (lol)

he likes bandannas (he has like 58967659 different ones and is always wearing one around his neck) and sweaters (like the bandanas he has like 58967659) and cream puffs (any pastry really but those r his favs) and cats and small dogs and classic literature and sappy romance movies. also hes gay and works at a flower shop during his free time

ONTO THE NEXT: cosette! her pinterest board is here

i don’t have a good reference pic of her yet… besides this thing i did a few weeks back

along with a big wip i’ll post eventually.

but yeah so she’s a 19 year old girl of romani descent, but she’s been kind of separated from the culture for a long time, since her parents died when she was young and she was put into foster care before finally being fully adopted by 11.

she’s got a lot of attitude and likes to cause trouble, because her adoptive parents are kind of strict and it caused her to have a very rebellious streak. at one point she uses their money to buy a motorcycle lmao so that’s her main mode of transportation and it’s sick as fuck. the helmet she wears while riding it has lil cat ears on it.

but she is well-meaning despite the rebelliousness and sharp tongue. she likes to crack jokes and tease the people she cares about, but will go to the ends of the earth for them.

she hasn’t had her powers as long as valére has, obviously. val has had his ever since she was still just a baby. she got her powers when she was 17, so she’s still getting used to them. she saved a cat from being attacked by stray dogs and surprise! the cat is just like the owl that val saved once. and one day when cosette gets hit by a car, the messenger offers her some of its life force. and now it sticks around with her as a cat and she calls her gigi even tho that’s not her real name

basically considering how gigi takes the form of a cat, some of cosette’s abilities are based off that, not unlike how since the messenger that val saved and vice versa was an owl so he has the power of flight and whatnot, she’s incredibly resilient, has heightened reflexes, can do Sick Parkour, always lands on her feet, and she has lil fangs that grow when she uses her powers and her eyes do Cat Things too. and her nails can turn into claws lmao. she also has powers similar to val’s like the invisibility, spatial/time manipulation, etc, but considering she’s still kinda new to it all she’s not As Powerful as val can be yet

but she meets val literally just bc they pass each other on the street one day, she senses val is The Same, and follows him back to his place DSBFHDBDFHFGF and decides she’s going to stay there and val is just like ???????? ok cool

she’s a huge lesbian btw

theodore is the next oc (pin board here) and the one whose fc is louis garrel. here:

he’s 34. the youngest of 5 kids. his siblings were extremely mean to him throughout his childhood lmao cus they thought he was a freak. like for the first 5 years of his life he legit never spoke and was petrified by the visions of spirits and stuff he’d see. his parents didn’t know what was going on, they’d take him to a therapist and of course the therapist had no clue

so he grew up as kind of a cold and distant guy. hes very well meaning deep down but he just didnt have a happy childhood. the one relative he has a good, loving relationship with is his father. he excelled in school and was popular at first bc hes Handsome but considering his disposition it was hard to get close to him at all

and the case with him and his messenger is strange because. until he gains his powers he and the messenger had never met before whatsoever. the messenger is named vadim and takes the form of a giant black wolf. im still working out Why vadim even bothered saving him but basically, theo gets shot by his eldest brother and left to die. vadim drags theo off somewhere secluded, saves him, etc.

except vadim isn’t exactly a messenger but also isn’t a demon either. he Used to be a messenger. soemthing happened that made him Not so he kind of toes the line between them. messengers are kinda like angels in a way but on a much lower tier i guess. demons are just… demons

and this is where the symbiotic/parasitic thing comes in

bc messengers are very serious about repaying debts. it’s why val and cosette survived at all, because they had saved the lives of messengers before so said messengers saved them. and, for example, gigi pretty much lives with cosette now and cosette offers her protection and vice versa. it’s mutually beneficialmeanwhile like

if youre possessed by a demon you dont really get much out of it yourself. you’re pretty much just. a host to a parasite

and vadim is like… he isnt possessing theo but hes still feeding off of his energy despite saving him and giving him power. i havent really decided a lot on theo’s power but. he’s really strong. which is one reason vadim bothered saving him. bc he could see the fuckton of untapped potential

and a lot of it is due to his bottled up anger and hurt and whatever

also he and val kiss

the 4th i’m working on is named apollo and his pin board is here

he’s Sort Of an antagonist but not exactly im still working on his info but he looks like this

he’s a successful businessman but unlike the other characters he Actually Died before he was saved except. he was brought back by a demon that posed as a messenger. and basically bc it was kinda like a deal with a devil sort of thing. now he has to do whatever it wants and is lowkey possessed but also is kind of getting a kick out of bad shit but also not? he’s full of a ton of Conflict. but also the demons messenger counterpart comes into play at some point to help save apollo it’s good

the demon is a white snake and the messenger is a black one

no step on snek

#science-boner #my ocs

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thirstyfortom · 7 years ago

Text

How could I refuse? I love writing this kind of scenario LOL! Hope you like it! <3

Meeting an artist MC before RFA

Zen

He was supposed to be at a studio, that happened to be next by the university

Since he was struggling to find a place to park his bike, he ended up doing it at the university parking lot.

As soon as he took his helmet off, Zen heard this annoyed sigh behind him: “Ahh, you’re finally here! Why didn’t you text me you were going to be late, dude?”

“Excuse me?” “Let’s go. I’ve been waiting for you for hours!” you pout and man… he has no idea what you’re talking about, but this pout makes him feel bad as if he knew.

So he follows you to the building a few steps next to the parking lot, he is going to be late for his gig, why is he following you? Where to? Oh my god… why are you dragging him to this dark room?

“Alright. What was your name again?” “Zen, and you are…?” “MC, but you knew that. My friend talked about me, right?” Not really… which friend? WHAT’S HAPPENING?

“Okay, you may take your clothes off now.” OH WHAT? “Lady… whoa, uhm… look, you’re pretty bold, and I like bold girls, but uhm… I’m not this kind of guy, especially not to cute girls like you and…” he notices you’re not even listening as you walk to open the curtains and reveal that this is a room full of canvases.

“I’m sorry if you had to come on the last minute, my deadline had been shortened, my friend said you’re pretty chill with your posing schedules.” Well, that was obviously a mistake and you’re looking for someone else, but uhm… why doesn’t he feel like explaining it to you?

“So take your clothes off, we could start with some standing poses, how about that?” oh, you expect him to…? N-no! Well, he understands this is about art, but still… ahh, why is he feeling so shy?

So he gathers courage to explain the misunderstood, only to feel really amused at your mortified expression. “Oh my God! So now you’re late for your gig? I’m so so sorry, sir! I… ahh, I knew you were familiar from somewhere, I…” “Hey hey it’s fine! You just wanted to finish your project, it’s cool…” “OH MY GOD! MY PROJECT! I’M STILL DELAYED AND I DON’T HAVE A MODEL!”

“Of course you do!” he takes his jacket off, ignoring all your protests and attempts of telling him to forget all this.

Well, you don’t have much time, he’s here, he’s naked, his physique works phenomenally… why not?

“You are so natural at posing, that was great, thank you!” “My pleasure, sweetie… I hope I wasn’t too awkward…” “Not at all! You were perfect, your body is… really perfect…” he smirks at your attempt of not sounding embarrassed.

And just when he was about to ask for your name, his phone buzzed. It was the client from the gig looking for him. So, reluctantly, he left.

And none of the poses he did for the photographer felt as good as the ones he was doing for you… so when you showed up at his apartment a few weeks ago, his frustration towards hi broken leg was also because he couldn’t pose for you…

Yoosung

He pulled an all nighter playing LOLOL and now was dragging himself to the university like a zombie

So he noticed the hallways looked a really different, but he was so sleepy he didn’t mind too much.

He just noticed something was really off when he heard you greeting him. Are you in his class? No, he would probably remember a smile like this if he had it seen before.

“Sit there, I’m going to test some shading effects, so don’t look directly into the light, okay?” What? Sit where? What light?

“I… I’m sorry, I… am not sure what I’m doing…” “Oh, you don’t have to do much, it’s just some bust sketches.” Okay… still not helpful…

Yoosung is now fully awaken as he looks around the room, he never saw a class like this in the biology building… because this isn’t the biology building, it’s the at one, ugh…

“Okay, we could tart with some profile angles and the light hitting from the right, okay?” “Uhm, yeah, sure, but uhm… why me?”

“Hum? Oh… because you’re the model.” M-model? Him? Why would you even think that? “Aren’t you? My friend told me the model always comes earlier on Tuesdays to help the students who need more practice…” oh, you look a little embarrassed, there’s nothing wrong about needing more practice…

He feels bad for your flustered face, you looked so excited before. You were going o draw him, he would like to see this. He… would like to know how you see him.

“Y-yeah! Sure! I didn’t know you were training… shading, that’s why I got confused. Yeah, let’s start…”

Man… this is so embarrassing, you’re looking at him with so much attention! And don’t even get him started on when you go to him and touch his face to change the position. Are you going to color this later? Because all you have to use is red for his cheeks.

“Thank you so much! I think I’m getting the hang of this…” you smile. “Can… can I see it?” “Sure.”

Wow, it’s so… beautiful, he looks so… adult in the black and white sketches… is that really how you see him? Is that how he looks?

“I struggled a little with your hair, though. I didn’t think I did justice to it…” “It’s perfect, you’re a great artist!” “And you’re a great model” you smile sweetly, and he fells all warm inside.

But he was no model, and it would be embarrassing if you even found out, so he never set foot on the art building again. But you would find out anyway in the chatroom.

Jaehee

She thought bringing work to this café would make it feel less stressing

And it was working a little, a lot of uni students would hang out there, so it had a cool environment, somehow.

Not so cool when she noticed you looking at her from the table in front of her, just some quick glances, but it was hard not to notice the attention and curiosity in your eyes.

It was starting to bother her, so she decided to call you out.

But when she looked at you, you weren’t looking anymore, you were busy with a pencil and a napkin.

Hum… maybe it was just her imagination… Ugh, she’s so stressed she’s seeing things now.

Yeah, why would you look at her with so much interest?

Wait, no… you definitely are looking at her now! Yeah, you’re smiling straight at her! This is not her imagination!

“Something wrong, miss?” “Hum? Oh no, not at all… I think this light hits you really nice, that’s all.”

What light? Oh… the sunlight? Well, it’s not even that bright since it’s late in the afternoon and…

Wait! Is it already that late? Ahh, she lost track of time in this place! She must get back to C&R immediately and hand these papers to Mr. Han asap!

But… why she keeps thinking of what you said? Why were you paying so much attention to her? Wait, why are you leaving? Hey, you left the napkin behind, won’t you come back to throw in the trash can?

She sighs before grabbing her stuff and walking to the table you were to pick the napkin and do what you should have done.

Oh no… she can’t throw it away, it’s… it’s a draw of her, and… it’s really cute… would you mind if she kept it? Or was it a gift you left behind on purpose? She would find the answer a few weeks later when you met at the RFA party.

Jumin

He was supposed to conduct a lecture to the business students.

So he was waiting next to the stairs of the auditorium, typing on his phone.

It took him a while to notice you sitting on the concrete handrails, in front of him, but it was hard not to since you were at the same point of the stairs.

But you didn’t seem to mind him, sketching furiously in you notebook.

Except when your eyes met his and you smile. “The architecture is beautiful, right?” you commented, smiling.

“Yes, it’s very imposing.” You chuckle at his answer. What’s so funny? “Great choice of words.”

Well, yes… but what do you mean? Now his attention is completely driven to you drawing, but you’re not paying any attention to him anymore.

“Are you here for the lecture?” “Nope. I just like hanging out here, it inspires me. The straight lines from the building in contrast to the trees it’s amazing.”

Oh, trees… yes, he barely noticed the trees. But they are, indeed, beautiful, it’s nice to see a piece of nature among these buildings. Ah, now he gets what you mean.

Almost everything, since he doesn’t know what you meant when talking about inspiration…

Aren’t you a business student? He’s feeling quite curious on what someone so perceptive could study…

“Do you mind if I ask what is your degree on?” it slipped his lips before he noticed “Art.” You answered, still sketching.

“I see… so you have no interest in business, I suppose.” “I have interest in lots of things, from buildings to trees, from art to business and so on. It’s good to have a wide view so you can see the beauty in everything…”

You get up from the rail and walk towards him. “Even on a trivial scene like a guy messing on his phone.” You show the sketch to him. Oh… it’s him. He feels oddly embarrassed, for some reason.

But there was no reason to. He would learn a lot more things with you a couple of weeks later when you showed up at his penthouse.

Saeyoung

He was going to pick Yoosung up to hang out later.

But Yoosung was nowhere to be found. Did he forget? Tsk... it would be a shame if the LOLOL server went down that night… well, it can’t be helped when you forget your friends…

He was smirking to himself when spotted you from across the hallway smiling to yourself too and drawing

Then you looked at him… and lowered your gaze again, focusing on the drawing.

Were you drawing him? Nah, it couldn’t be…

Well, since Yoosung stood him up, he should go back home and start working before the boss would send Vanderwood to tase him.

But seriously, were you drawing him? Ahh, he couldn’t leave without knowing what were you doing…

Was there some camera that would capture from where you were standing? He could hack it and see if…

“Cool glasses.” You said, walking towards him. “Thanks…” he scratched the back of his head, feeling strangely flustered.

“Cool hair color too, do you know the YCMK for it?” He… knew, but why would he tell this to a stranger? Why was he talking to a stranger if he wasn’t on a mission?

“Oh, you must think I’m such a creep right now, sorry.” You chuckled nervously, and he couldn’t help chuckling too, you were just so cute.

“Well, I should warn you that it’s hard to recreate such a unique hair color like mine…” “I’m up for the challenge.” Oh… feisty! He likes it… wait, what?

“So I guess it would be a challenge to see your draw of me.” “If it is a challenge for you to ask nicely…” oh god… you’re so adorable! How can he not ask nicely?

So you show him. And it’s… AWESOME! It’s him drawn in a comic book style. He looks like a super-hero, he looks like… the defender of justice. Ahh, if only he really was the defender of justice…

Too bad he couldn’t really see himself in the way you did. That’s why he was feeling even guiltier for putting you in so much danger, super hero would never let the love of his life in this much danger…

Saeran

He just wanted some ice cream.

He barely noticed he was near an university.

Since he was here, might as well sit and take a look at some students, maybe one of them would work as good bait for his plan.

He was caught up in his thoughts, but promptly noticed you sitting beside him in the bench.

Ugh… what do you want?

Apparently, nothing, as you were sketching something. You probably din’t even notice there was someone behind you, weirdo!

He was annoyed, because of you invading his space like this or because of you not even noticing his presence? He didn’t know…

He cleared his throat to get your attention… nothing. So he tried leaning discreetly to your side, still nothing.

It was only when a soccer ball fell in your direction that you took your eyes off the drawing.

“Shit!” he said, noticing the ball almost hit your head. It wouldn’t hurt, but still, people need to be more careful, for fuck’s sake!

You looked around, trying to find the kicker, and as soon as you did, you got up from the bench, yelling and cussing the person.

He felt like laughing, it was such a difference from when you were drawing… your voice was different from what he imagined, not that he actually put much thought into it, but still, it was different.

Then he noticed you left your sketchbook on the bench, and after thinking a lot, he decided to take a sneak.

He coughed in surprise seeing himself, the pink from his hair, the mint from his eyes and the black from his clothes… it looked really well put together, just like he wanted his aesthetics to be.

He saw some other sketches, the one in the following page was the sky painted in watercolor… it could only be a sign, he found his target, and he would take the sketchbook as reference to taking information about you. Don’t worry, he would give it back when you would be with him in Paradise.

The campus had a really nice view and a great light

So the photographs would work very nicely.

He was taking pictures of the view and decided to photograph some of the students walking by

Then the camera’s lenses captured you in a very interesting focused expression

He spent some time looking at it, fascinated at how geat it turned out

So he wanted more angles, still trying not to let you notie, otherwise it would lose all the beauty of the spontaneity behind it.

When he walked a little behind you, he could catch a glimpse of what you were drawing...

He immediately recognized the turquoise hair, and got super flustered when one of the photos was you looking straight at the camera over your shoulder.

He got surprised, but still, it was a stunning shot.

“It’s not polite to photograph people without their consent.” you said, smiling teasingly.

“I wish I could say the same for drawing people without ther consent, but I don’t think is something that commom whatsoever.” you laughed. Ahh... can he take pics of you laughing?

“I guess it’s not, but I’ll apologize anyway, I just liked your hair color and poses when you’re photographing.” “There’s no need to apologize, it’s a beautiful work from a very talented and photogenic artist.”

You blushed, and he couldn’t hold back a minor fist pump for taking a pic of your expression.

Ahh, even the way you pouted and told him not to do that was absolutely adorable. So he offered his hand to you.

“I’m really glad we got to inspire each other,hope this happens again in the future.” well, the future was something neither you nor him could know by now. But for the very first time in a long time, he was genuinely excited for the things to come to him.

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanons #mystic messenger hcs #mystic messenger zen #hyun ryu #Yoosung Kim #jaehee kang #jumin han #saeyoung choi #saeran choi #jihyun kim #mystic messenger v

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miminorenai · 8 years ago

Text

Kakizaki Kageie 1st ES

CHAPTER 1

While walking at the castle town, MC clashed with someone who comes out suddenly from the alley. The man MC clashed with apologized and holding out his hand to help MC. MC is stunned and admiring the man’s beauty, only realized herself when the man asking whether she is alright and attained any injuries. She respond by saying she’s okay and grab his hand. Since the man grab strongly, she falls into his chest and smell into his sweet scent. She apologized and move away from him when she awaken from her drunken state (lol xD). However, the man still does not letting go of her hand. He realized that MC’s kimono is dirty and ask her to come with him to replace/pay for new kimono. She did not manage to resist his hold since it’s too strong and follow him. While walking, she overheard people’s talk and realized that man is Uesugi Kenshin.

Then, when arrived at the castle, Naoe Kanetsugu approached them with angry footsteps. He’s angry since Kenshin escaped from castle though lots of work and babbling to him and asking what kind of excuse he would give this time. Then, Kenshin introduced her to Kanetsugu and asking for her name (and saying it’s cute huhu). Kanetsugu realized she’s not from the area and MC replied, saying that she just finished serving a lord as poison taster and going back to Kyoto. So she stop there on her way back, to rest since she sprained her leg. Kenshin in shocked and released her hand (omg i just realized they have been holding hand since the beginning xD). He stroked her head to comfort her and inviting her to stay at the castle to rest. She shocked by the surprising offer but Kenshin affirm with his decision, so MC does not have much choices~~

Kenshin and MC wait in a room while Kanetsugu makes preparation. Kenshin’s retainer (Kakizaki Kageie~) enter the room and staring at MC, asking who is she, while being menacing and cold. MC being defensive immediately. Kenshin explained she is his guest and the atmosphere turning calm. Kenshin introduced MC to Kageie. By that time, Kanetsugu arrived and give him male hakama and saying for now only this hakama available so until then, she would wear it first. Then Kenshin asked Kageie to take care of MC with an initial objection by Kageie. After being persuaded, Kageie guide MC to her room. MC want to change and telling him that.

HOWEVER, he does not come out. Kageie grabbed MC hand, making the hakama falling down. While remains silent, Kageie loosen up MC’s kimono obi (AHHHH!!!) She tried to resist but Kageie putting her hand behind. MC’s body rigid with fear. While Kageie,

“What, I suppose I would gladly to please you”

He kissed MC nape of the neck to the ear, making her having goosebumps. (AHHHH!!!) However, it is been halted as Kenshin shouted Kageie’s name and he immediately letting go of MC. She immediately fix her kimono obi. Kenshin enter the room and Kageie feign innocence. He comes out from the room as Kenshin said that Kanetsugu requires his help. Kenshin sigh and MC falling down to the floor after Kageie leaving.

Kenshin: “I’m sorry, that child means no harm”

MC: “…Yes”

MC still trembling and Kenshin stroked her head while helping her to pick up the hakama. He said he would wait for her outside, so dressed slowly. After Kenshin is leaving, MC still stares at the hakama and anxious about her life at the castle.

CHAPTER 2

The next day, MC stumble into Kageie while walking in the hallway. MC immediately remember the fear from yesterday. Kageie advance to MC and say sorry. It is so surprising, making MC forgot about yesterday’s fear. The next scene could be directed through this link.

He said this with such indifference lol xD Although she could not comprehend that, she could make sense on what’s happening (Since in the beginning in their introduction, Kenshin said to treat her gently and Kageie interpret that as pleasing/pleasuring her lol xD. And afterward Kenshin said he means no harm actually, so…) MC said it’s okay, then Kageie just pass at her side without saying much. Then he immediately look back at MC and stopped, making MC stopped too.

Kageie: “Ah, if you desired it, let me pleasuring you then”

LOL XD

Then he leaves with smile.

When MC enters into the Main Hall, she saw Kageie chatting with other retainers like nothing happened between them before. Kageie muttering he’s hungry and MC wondering what he’s thinking, since he’s so simple and refreshing? (not sure about this actually, sorry you guys) Then Kenshin enter the hall and greets them. When Kenshin saw MC, he looks her with gentle eyes and asking her whether she sleeps well. MC replied she does and giving her a friendly smile, making her mind calm. Kenshin introduced MC to other retainers (we have a cute guest with us here xD) and MC feels comfortable with friendly manners from Kenshin’s retainers.

Then, going out from the hall, MC getting back to her room. However, she lost since she’s not used with the place and going around. While looking around, she spotted a wooden door that seems different, emitting imposing atmosphere. She’s curious and trying to open the door but it didn’t budge. Then suddenly from behind someone hold her hand at the door. Kenshin is looking at her with a cold face. She is in between him and the door.

Kenshin: “What are you doing in a place like this?”

MC: “I was trying to get back to my room since I lost…”

While still watching her straight at the eyes, he frees her hands. Somehow, unlike the hands that patting her hair, his seems cold, making her heart pounded with unpleasant sound.

Kenshin: “You should not be here”

He said with low remark, after MC is a long distance from the room, as if to draw a strong line.

When MC entering the Main Hall again, she thought vaguely about the matter before. She’s wondering what is in the room since gentle Kenshin could make that kind of face. Then Kageie makes an appearance at the hall. She asked him on what he has been eating.

Kageie: “Candy.”

MC is surprised that he’s kinda a sweet tooth. Kageie staring at her while still chewing the candy.

MC: “What?”

Kageie: “You seem to have no energy”

He’s being sharped while shaking his hand in front of MC face. She said it’s nothing.

Kageie: “Hmmm..”

While muttering, Kageie put the hands into his pockets.

The next moment, Kageie throws candy into MC mouth.

Kageie: “Feeding”

Although MC is confused, the gentle sweetness that spread in her mouth making her smile. Kageie staring straight at her and saying it’s the same. MC is wondering what’s Kageie comparing with. He left the hall without replying to MC. Then, from the hallway, Kanetsugu scolding Kageie as he’s walking with his mouth full. Then the lively voices gone away along with footsteps. MC is wondering whether he’s worried about her.

From his seat, Kenshin does not greet MC, making her feels lonely on his indifference. She tries to talk with him, but he’s only smile in silence. She feels funny with him becoming cold compared to yesterday. Her mind wondering whether he’s angry with her for trying to open the door and the importance of that room. Suddenly, from the side is a cold voice.

Kageie: “What are you doing to Kenshin-sama?”

Supposedly Kenshin attitude that time also seems odd by people around. MC not replying though Kageie staring at her with cold eyes. Kenshin asked him to be silent and saying that MC has done nothing bad.

Kageie: “Hmmm”

Kenshin: “I’m sorry”

He then leaves his seat. Despite the chilly atmosphere, Kageie seeing Kenshin off, putting an immerse trust on him, while looking at him leaving quietly.

Alone at her room, she’s in her thought, making her getting out of her bed and her room.

MC: Yoshi (Alright)

Kakizaki Kageie

CHAPTER 3

Going out from her room, MC trying to look for Kageie. However, she is not able to pinpoint Kageie location or room especially in this wide castle (she even lost lol xD). Almost giving up, she approached balcony and saw Kageie lying down. He seems to enjoy a cool evening while gazing into the moon. She approaches him and peer into his face. MC asking what is he doing. After a little glance on MC, he muttered disinterestedly:

“Sleeping”

The conversation pause there and despite MC wanting to have enthusiasm conversation, it does not going well. She wonders if she is a nuisance if she’s is sitting next to him since she doesn’t want to leave and stand there forever. Since he is closing his eyes, MC is reluctant to ask him. However she remembers this conversation. So, she’s trying to ask his permission to sit next to him.

Kageie: “Hmm”

However, there are only silences between them. Despite all that, she wants to know him better. She feels that Kageie allowing her to sit beside him meaning he does not hate her and this makes her heart feels lighter. Suddenly, they heard Kenshin’s voice.

“Oh?”

Kageie moves. His head is still lying down. Kenshin approach them quietly and looks at both of them alternately. He said with gentle voice.

“Did both of you get along while viewing the moon?”

MC feels the Kenshin before (being cold and indifference) is like a dream and illusion. Suddenly, Kageie getting up and sitting while crossing his legs. They make a small conversation (a little about Kanetsugu is always mad) and seeing Kenshin laughing slightly loosen up Kageie (he smiles :)). Then, while still giggling and laughing, Kenshin wishes them good night and leaves.

After Kenshin is gone, Kageie continue to lie down and close his eyelids. MC could feel his fondness towards Kenshin. She wants to grow near and talk with him (despite his attempt to pleasure MC lol xD).

MC: “Anoo..” (Ahh..)

Kageie: “Nani” (What?)

MC: “If you continue to lie down here, you’ll catch the cold!”

Kageie: “I don’t care” (He’s so cold T_T WHERE IS SEXY KAGEIE IN CHAPTER 1 lololol xD)

Then, it turns to silence again. Strangely, MC feels the situation is cozy and not bad. They spend some time in quiet together while enjoying the breeze. Then Kageie yawning and getting up from there. MC realized she hadn’t speaking much and calling him. He turns and she only managed to wish him goodnight. He wishes back and leaves. Despite unconcern attitude from Kageie, she wants to approach him more.

She sees him again tomorrow at Main Hall. She happens to see that he take out candy from his pocket and eats it. She remembers yesterday moment when Kageie giving her candy. Her chest feels warm on the thought of him giving her candy to cheer her up. Then they immediately lock eyes with each other.

Kageie: “I want to eat”

MC rethinks back and being in denial. Perhaps in truth he’s doing that without much thoughtfulness xD

Then, without saying anything, he leaves the hall. MC drops her shoulder with his cold attitudes. However, she shocked when Kageie comes back and holds out candy to her. It seems he takes a different of his favourite candy and coming back to give to MC. MC is really happy and thanks him. Kageie, while smiling:

“You look happy :)“

She becomes embarrassed but continues to convey her thoughts.

MC: “Aren’t you giving me candy the last time (before)?”

Kageie: “Is that so?”

MC: “In truth, I’m really happy when you are giving me the candy”

Kageie: “If that’s the case I wish you are able to say if you like it so much”

Although only just a few moments, the trace of his mouth loosen up, and he leaves the hall with smiling face, showing subtle facial expression change. Seeing that, MC heart feels lighten as she is able to say it to Kageie. The candy itself making her happy inside:3

CHAPTER FINALE

At last, MC stay at the castle almost comes to the end. In Main Hall, Kenshin comments on the healing on MC’s leg and MC is really grateful on their help while her leg is getting better. Kanetsugu arrange for MC coming home to Kyoto the next day. Then, Kageie enters the hall and asking what’s the matter. Kenshin informs on her going back to Kyoto.

Kageie: You’re returning?”

MC: “Yeah”

Kageie: “Oh. Alone?”

MC: “Yes…”

Kenshin smiles while watching them talk, commenting on both of them becoming good friend.

Kageie: “Not particularly”

MC is slightly hurt by that blunt respond.

Kageie: “Still, I’m Mimi’s caretaker/attendant”

She is surprised Kageie mentioned her name to the point she looked into his face. She’s really happy and her heart pounding with sweet sound. He also adds he does not mind things like helping/assisting. Then, Kenshin told Kanetsugu on MC and Kageie moon viewing. Kanetsugu kind of surprised and Kageie denying it, saying he was just sleeping.

Kenshin: “Oh, whether Kageie is indeed viewing the moon or not, it’s still really a nice thing.”

Kageie: “Excessive”

MC cannot suppress her happiness secretly listening to those 3 people conversation. She still feel blissful Kageie calls her name. She actually does not expect Kageie remembers since he seems uninterested.

Then, Kenshin takes his leave in sudden. Kanetsugu chasing him and ask where is he going. MC starts to feel lonely and would miss the exchanges that she saw everyday. Suddenly she realized Kageie staring at her with puzzled face.

MC: “What is it?”

Kageie: “Why do you look happy?”

She being honest and telling him that it is because he remembers her name.

Kageie: “Of course I would remember. I’m not a fool”

She denies in hurry, saying it’s not what she means. She doesn’t expect he remembers her name actually. Since he mentions her name before. Kageie shows a shocked face.

Seeing that facial expression making her chest rentless and noisy.

The next scene could be directed to this link.

Kanetsugu saying that with straight face, making MC and Kageie look at each other.

Kageie: “Certainly.”

MC: “I agree.”

She laugh afterward. The warm and gentle air from the hall reminds MC of sad reality on returning the next day. While being lonely and feeling painful, she looks up at Kageie gently.

The next morning, after saying farewell to Kenshin and Kanetsugu, she leaves her room with luggage. She is surprised seeing Kageie at the castle gate. He’s sending her off since he is her caretaker, by Kenshin. He’s asking her why she’s surprised. She thoughts perhaps Kageie hates her and he denies it. Kageie asking why she’s thinking like that. Since this is the last time, she organized her thought and telling him the truth. At first, she finds him frightening because he is cold and she does not know what he’s thinking.

Kageie: “Now?”

MC: “You are not frightening”

Kageie: “Hmm”

Silence falls. Kageie remains staring at her, not saying anything, even goodbye. She even has a bit of expectation.

Kageie: “Are you not going?”

And of course that won’t happen. She wanting to expect for a reunion, trying to protest.

MC: “….Are you staying here (at their current location), Kageie-sama?”

Kageie: “Obviously”

Then he mutters, “Perhaps, this is just an excuse”

MC wondering what does it mean but she let it pass. She mentions her gratefulness and feeling indebt to Kageie, for taking care of her, though it’s just a short time. He makes a small nod and return back into the castle. She immediately feels painful and her chest tightened. She holds her tears and starts her journey through mountain.

She’s looking for an inn, refers to the map by Kanetsugu to stay the night. She wants to hurry since the forest seems eerie. Sudden pull on her arm making her to turn around and the fear coming out from her voice.

Kageie: “Found you”

MC is shocked as he asked him his reason of being there.

Kageie: “You, are you telling lies?”

MC: “Huh?”

He mutters in low voice, “Do you really (want) to go home?”

Without thinking, MC immediately shakes her head. While still grabbing MC’s arm,

Kageie: “I could understand you even in just a short time.”

Then his smile directed to her for the first time, making her chest rings.

Kageie: “Let’s go”

This unexpected event still making her chest feels like bursting out.

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jinatbd · 5 years ago

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I think it’s time to reflect on 2019.

What a fucking whirlwind of a year. I dieted, exercised, went to korea, went blonde and pink and purple, took a CBD class, took a lot of Yoga, kicked my merch habit, lost and gained 10 pounds, got a new fucking job that I fucking love with the best boss I’ve ever had, worked a ton of just the craziest events, and got to see the clouds move at crazy fast paces that make me feel so light and uncommitted to this world and who I am now. I think that’s one of the crazy things of sitting here on the 40fh floor watching these clouds float and I mean literally get a move on past me above a city that seems to be falling asleep slowly. What a gorgeous view and a crazy experience that I get to have. And I had this not just once but multiple times this year.

I love these stupid skylines and gorgeous landscapes and breath taking views and just expanses. It’s so different than just sitting in my LA apartment and I’m so so soooooo immensely grateful for this change. I’m glad we moved too. I think I’m happy with the move just a little uncontent with where we are choosing to spend money.

2019 was so insanely long.

Kpop wise, I was still so in love with stray kids at the beginning of the year. I watched the miroh cb but tbh it set the tone and so I wasnt as thrilled about the remainder of the comebacks. I was still so so into BTS. I still really liked taehyung. I had a yoongi phase to shield myself from claires increasing obsession with Taehyung. I got to have JUS2, the best unit ever to be birthed by GOT7 debut and also have their stuff everywhere while I was in Korea. I got into Izone. I got to have WayV fulfill every single Cpop dream I had. I watched IP2 and cried over YMM pretty much the entire season and wenhan. I got to see blackpink and pentagon and Twice and GOT7 AGAIN!!! And then my dream literally came true. I worked kcon?!? I dont even care for ATEEZ but so so cool to be able to be part of a moment. And I got to see Woojin 🥺the only one I would ever use this emoji for. As the year draws to a close, I really think I’m a bigger Dream fan than ever before. Fireflies and DNYL was the track OF THE YEAR. I can’t stop listening to it and boom is also such a great track. And on some level I think that SKZ is my guilty pleasure EDM group. That’s super super nice to have. I’m obsessed with SUPERM. WHAT A GENIUS MOVE to have such absolute powerhouses in one group and I’ll get to see them in the new year! Also so so so proud of Got7 this year. While eclipse was not my favorite, I will say this year everyone seemed the most content with what they were putting out and they had the best time promoting all of their music. As a fan I’m much deeper in love with Markhyuck than I ever have been and it’s starting to blend into 2park. It’s been such a whirlwind. Such a crazy long year. I also will take some time eventually to talk about just how different it is now that BTS is a clear top. Nothing is as interesting or as fun anymore. Especially year end stages. And I miss having Exo. I love BTS don’t get my wrong. I rrally think they did something exceptional with their music. But I dont think I can ever refute that EXO is the BEST kpop boy group of all time for many many many reasons. It’s nice having them comeback with a strong concept like obsession. So. So happy with it. Also Lowkey happy with the music style trade between 127 and exo with obessesion and superhuman lol. I think for now that’s enough about kpop. How I’m consuming it is constantly changing. I’m not longer following as closely but I think it’s just enough. And I’m learning when to save and when to just like something.

As a person, did I become more of a leo? More abrasive and rough? Defensive and almost unpleasant to be around? Maybe. I think there’s a lot of residual habits that I had formed during my two dormant years that I want to fix including, accidentally over dominating a conversation and spacing out when someone else is talking. I feel super rusty and I feel bad that I seem to no longer engage with people as much as I used to or as well as I used to. I think I need more practice with friends who aren’t just in my immediate circle or very surface level. I definitely want to read more books on that.

Personally, I have a few goals this year. First quarter of the year I want to focus on my exercise, diet, and korean. I think 3 things shouldn’t be too hard to handle. To tackle this, I want to spend time looking at things I would like to cook to be healthier and to eat healthier. And for exercise, if I can just manage to do what Kelly did and pair it with exercise, I really believe I can drop major pounds. I feel motivated again to do it and I want to do it well. I also do want to set some goals at work but I think that needs further reflecting this month. On my to do list.

I still want to do some form of YouTube but I havent quite decided what yet. So that’s more to come later.

Did I reflect on my 2019 enough? I really think that it’s been an immense year of personal growth but also if slip ups and seeing a lot of my Achilles heels. A testament of my laziness but also willingness to make things happen. I was burnt out and motivated all at once because it felt like I was living three lives at once and I had comepletely separates how I felt in each one. It proves to me that I am able to really change how I approach anything just based on mentality and it has nothing to do with how I feel right now as a whole. I am complex with many emotions and depth that gives me the ability to juggle almost multiple universes for myself. What makes me so so soooo excited about this year is that I think I can finally properly break away from chains that I’ve imposed on myself through my friendships. I have been learning how to form my own opinion, how to defend yet not be defensive of them, and to not have to agree. It’s less of a breaking away from my friends than a breaking away from my thoughts and impressions of this friendship past my boundary.

On that note, I do think this is the year that I let Alex Lim go. I think cutting him off myself last fall was the hardest most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever had to go through in a friendship but I am happy to report that I’m happier now. I feel unconstrained and just the same indifference I feel for his girlfriend. I’d love to stay in the loop but it’s not the same stress that I felt.

I also feel more free of Alex Do for the first time. This year included the developments of his update wi th AILINA when I decided to go to exec elections, him ignoring me, me finding out he was dating someone, me finding out he was refused to make it official because of us but had also brought her home, and him moving back to Texas. It just felt so much freer to not be tied anymore and to feel bad or feel remorse or any of the things that I had felt in the entirety of our relationship and post breakup. I’m actually quite happy with where I’m at now.

Family is hard. I think this year is going to be hard for everyone.

Regardless. What an amazing jam packed long ass year. I’m so so soooo excited for anew chapter. It proves that time doesn’t necessarily need to move faster. But I should also plan with less stress. I think that’s the biggest take away this year. How I manage stress.

Here’s to a 2019. The craziest year yet.

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tumblunni · 6 years ago

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Okay I’m reading that artbook for the light fury again and man it just pisses me off to see people talking that way about the “design process of creating a female”. Seriously man, nobody is mad at the light fury herself as a character and also nobody is saying she looks awful or that this one detail ruins the movie. Just that the way they talk about deciding this design is very predictably sexist.

“In general it’s more difficult to create a female character. Any incorrect line and it can go wrong very quickly! We had to control the shapes to keep her graceful”

control the shapes holy shit

“She needed a graceful quality, she needed to be appealing both close up and far away”

“We wanted to explore how she would walk to make her feel like a female (...) her legs are closer together and she’s always graceful and controlled”

Like im sorry that really creeps me out! Their idea of ‘female walking’ is swaying hips catwalk stuff and why would you impose that on an animal?? i doubt it was intended to sexualize her or anything but it just shows how the sexist idea of femininity is shaped by sexualization and people still use it even when theyre not intending to make a sexy character. Like all those weird superheroes who stand like they’re wearing high heels when theyre not, cos the artist never learned any other way to draw women...

“Toothless has (...) panthers, dogs, bats and reptiles. She has to be less reptile. (...) We looked at lionesses instead of panthers”

Well at least they didnt do the weird thing of treating panthers and leopards as ‘more feminine’ than lions, like it actually DOES make sense to LITERALLY LOOK AT FEMALE ANIMALS instead of weird human stereotypes. Wish they’d made her more like a real lioness aka more designed for hunting than the male, and nigh identical aside from lacking one single feature. And lions don’t have manes because theyre better or anything, they have it to attract mates! Thats why most male-only traits exist in nature. Stupidly shaped horns, flambouyant patterns, even big eye stalks! So they should have thought about “a plainer less decorated version of toothless” rather than “a cuter weaker smaller more rounder catwalk model version”. But since toothless isnt brightly coloured, the idea of a white version makes a lot of sense, and would also help her seem interesting as a character. That was a great choice! Its just the weird other stuff that drags down a fundementally appealing idea.

Also I’m kinda confused by the line “At first we just thought about doing a white verion of toothless but (...) Dean insisted they were not the same species.” because the design IS just a feminine version of the same species. A lot of the beta designs shown on those pages look a lot more like an actual different species and it sucks that that creativity was thrown away in favour of female stereotypes. like they straight up said “she cant have markings cos theyd look too much like scars”. Those shots of the more distinct markings on the back of the wings look really cool!! And that one mysterious design where she’s black like toothless but has a longer tail with a spiralling fin. That’s so cool!

And there’s a bit about how she represents a wild dragon in a wilder world thats never encountered humans before, while toothless is “more domesticated” yet her design is LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF THAT. Seriously in real life you only get animals that appeal to very human concepts of beauty if they’ve been selectively bred that way for generations. And why would a wild equivelant be smaller, have smaller ears, nose, claws, etc??? Why would it be ‘more rounded’??

Oh! maybe they could have made her a lighter grey, maybe dappled with black scales like an imitation leopard pattern? Instead of this weird ‘she has no scales at all and must be less reptile despite being a reptile and also despite being the wild equivelant of this speces’ SERIOUSLY WHY WOULD SHE BE WEAKER AND MORE DEFENSELESS

also wtf its dumb to make her tail fins heart shaped, thats like how they used to stick bows on female animals in old cartoons. but at least that had the excuse that they were anthropomorphised and making the choice to dress super femme, not that theyre biologically born with specifically a symbol humans made up for valentines day. It bugs me that lots of pokemon have heart symbols for girls too, but at least they have some variety of other gender differences to mix it up! And I do personally like Heracross’s vaguely hearty horn, cos in that case it seems to make a little sense? like its a cariacatured version of a real life difference of male horns being more about showing off and in species where a female also has horns they tend to be more dull and practical. i can imagine that shape could be useful for digging while the male heracross’s x-shape is worse at that but better at locking horns with other males in order to show off for their mates. thats also often a thing in real life, where “male is more buff” species often ONLY use their strength to fight other males while the female does all the hunter gatherer stuff that humans stereotype as masculine. Thats how it works with lions! Theyre basically only “buff” in the same sense as bodybuilders, heavy upper body strength specialized for one specific task and also for visual appeal, rather than like.. useful strongs. Sheep and rams also work the same way, mama ewes will do the majority of fighting off actual intruders. And did you know most actual weightlifters and people working in jobs requiring strength are usually either stocky or lithe? And most bodybuilders are incredibly unhealthy, and cant actually lift weights for more than one single rep without getting a horrible racing heartbeat and needing to head offstage immediately. they starve themselves prior to performances to get their abs to look more pronounced, even though that makes it much much harder to actually do feats of strength. Not to mention all the drug problems! The bodybuilding industry is totally as abusive as the model industry and that really fuckin sucks. Oh and contrary to popular belief, upper body strength is more useful in archery than using swords or guns, but its considered a wimpy way to fight so fictional archers are always weak and fictional gun and swordsmen are always unnecessarily buff.

sorry this went off on a big ramble lol

anyway in summary:

* cool albino dragon = cool

* creative gender differences = cool

* gender differences based on real gender differences = also cool

* human stereotypes of gender that arent even biologically based on us as actual humans and are just part of the fashion industry, somehow applied to animals as if theyre universal = bad

* “this dragon needs to be less dragony cos she’s a girl” = bad

* “this dragon needs to be weaker despite her backstory making no sense that way” = also bad

* “this dragon needs to have a sexy round butt walk” = seriously noooooo

* “this dragon has a cool spiral staircase tail” = SO GOOD, why did they reject that design in favour of boring stereotypeness :(

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