#but what people do in fics is hardly his fault | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

marjorie189 · 2 years ago

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Coward - Vinnie Hacker Smut

description: Vinnie cuts things off with Y/N when things get rough. After a month of Vinnie delving his emotions into work, he can no longer put his feelings aside. He realizes he makes the biggest mistake of his life.

word count: 13,933

consists of: a rollercoaster of emotions, foreplay, dry humping, p in v, aftercare reconciliation. Jacob Day is mentioned in this fic.

italics are flashbacks!

Let’s get started!

❁

Vinnie and Y/N.

Anytime anyone hears those names together, the first thing that comes to mind is what a perfect match they are for one another.

Their close friends know it, their fans know it, heck even they know it. Everyone does.

But, a better way to describe it now is, was a perfect match.

It all started with different fashion companies wanting to work with them for their fashion weeks. YSL and Dior partnering with Vinnie. Versace and Chanel partnering with Y/N.

The two were crazy busy. It was getting hard to maintain a healthy relationship. Between creating visions with the brands, fittings, events, photoshoots. It felt like the relationship they once knew was a lifetime ago.

The two were optimistic, you can give them that. They wanted to make things work. The whole fashion week events would be over someday, they’d say in motivation to pull through with it all.

When the fashion weeks did come, they’d be in the same city. Whether it was Milan, Paris, New York, or any other beautiful city, unfortunately they were hardly together.

Once all the fashion weeks were over though, they felt relieved. They finally felt like things would finally go back to normal for them.

The two were always always hip to hip. It was rare to see one without the other. They were practically like a married couple, never leaving each other's side. The only difference between a married couple and them was that they maintained the same love for each other. Married couples usually lose their flame after a while, but not them.

They were truly in love.

Right when they got back from the fashion world to their lovely and comforting home in California, their plans of going back to the way things were changed. Vinnie had to fly to Paris for a fashion shoot with Ami Paris.

Y/N was excited for him, she was so proud of him. Of course she felt sad knowing Vinnie had to leave. They hadn’t spent much time together in the past couple months, but nevertheless she was proud of his achievements.

Vinnie, on the other hand, felt horrible. He knew he would have to be traveling from Paris to LA, LA to Paris, repeatedly. All he wanted to do was give Y/N the time of day. He wanted to love her, spend every forsaken second with her. He missed doing that. They would do it all the time before the world they knew got crazy, he was looking forward to doing it again. But nope, the world had other plans in store for them.

Y/N, not even for one second felt like they wouldn’t manage it all. Hell yeah, it was hard, but they would get through it. They already had, what’s one more? She’d miss him tons but she’d be counting the days, weeks, for him to fully be in her graces again. They’d for sure need a vacation after all of it.

But Vinnie. Oh, Vinnie.

He felt guilty. He loved his girl. There wasn’t anything he wouldn’t do for her. He cared deeply for her and it tore him apart that he’d have to leave again.

This time it was different. The two had been looking forward to this present moment for months now. But he had to ruin it with another campaign. If it were up to only him, he would hit them with a hard pass. He’d prefer to be with his baby sprawled up, under his covers. They hadn’t been able to do that in months. It was always go, go, go.

They were supposed to do nothing together. That was their plan, that is what they had been looking forward to.

He kept pondering to himself that it was all his fault. He’d leave Y/N in a couple days, all alone this time. She would no longer be working like crazy, surrounded by thousands of people. It would just be her, without him. She would be at home, without him.

“What’s wrong?” She would ask, frowning.

Vinnie was sitting at the edge of his bed, quietly. Y/N was kneeling behind him as she wrapped her arms under his buff arms.

It took him a few seconds to respond.

“Nothing.” He’d say.

“Come on, Vinnie. You should be happy, right now!” She said, knowing he was upset about Paris. She knew him more than anyone. She could see right through him. “Sure, I know it’s going to be hard. I know. But it’s me and you against the world, nothing can stop us. You’ve got to lighten up. Seeing you like this makes me feel down too, you know?” She murmured the last part, pressing her lips onto his soft cheek.

And for that second, he felt like they could actually pull through. He was just too far up in his thoughts. He was focusing too much on the negativity to realize that they’ve never failed at loving each other.

Vinnie woke up the next morning, before his sweet Y/N. He caught himself feeling guilty and upset with himself, all over again.

Right beside him, restfully sleeping was his world.

He felt his throat clenching as he realized he couldn’t give you this. You two would no longer wake up to each other, huddled up. He hated that.

He got out of bed roughly leaving you behind. He walked into his conjoined restroom and stared at the sink countertop. If it wasn’t for Y/N being a couple feet away, he would’ve let his rage take over and punch the countertop.

He just couldn’t do it.

He thought about it for a couple hours that day. Y/N had woken up a while ago, but Vinnie pushed her away. He finally came to the conclusion, he had made a plan. He had to let Y/N know now in order for it to work out before he had to leave for Paris.

He sat her down. Thankfully she started speaking first, he didn’t know how to start the conversation.

“Are you finally going to acknowledge me? It feels like all day you’ve been ignoring me,” She spoke out, seemingly hurt.

“I-I’m sorry,” He croaked out. He was holding it all in. He looked down at his lap, fidgeting and playing with his beautiful hands.

“Vinnie, I thought we talked about this,” She expressed with a sigh. She scooted closer to him, she was wrapping her legs around his waist, in an attempt to get him finally to look at her.

Before she could, he pulled her off of him, placing her beside him.

“No, Y/N! I don’t think this is going to work out!” Vinnie let out, finally speaking to her this whole day.

“W-what?” Y/N said, she felt taken aback, realizing what Vinnie meant.

‘It’s over. I’m sorry.” He said standing up.

“Vinnie! What are you talking about? We can make this work. I don’t understand why you’re making this a greater deal than it has to be! I can wait, I’ll always wait for you.” Y/N exclaimed, standing up as well.

And that’s what broke him. Once she said that last sentence, it was final. He wasn’t turning back.

Vinnie’s first part and might it be added the hardest part of his plan was done.

Next he would talk to Jack, his best friend.

“You know how we’ve been speaking about moving out of the Hype House for a while now?” Vinnie said, bringing up the topic to him.

“Yeah! You, me, and Y/N!” Jack says, smiling at the thought, not taking the conversation too seriously.

“Yeah well change of plans. Just you, me, Jett, and a couple other gu-” Vinnie blurted out.

“Okay holda holda holda up!” Jack said back tracing. “Are you being serious about moving out right now? And second of all why is Y/N out of the picture? I thought she wanted to have some privacy away from the ruckus of the Hype House. We all did,” Jack questioned.

“Y/N and I broke up,” Vinnie says so nonchalantly.

Jack seemed like he was about to have a panic attack.

“WHAT?!” He yelled out. “Why do you seem so off right now, so fine? Are you okay?” Jack asks quickly.

“Are we moving in together or what? I already looked into a couple places online.” Vinnie shot out.

And that’s how it all started. Vinnie was moving into a new house with Jack and a couple other of their friends.

Y/N and Vinnie were over.

Vinnie had a couple more days before traveling to Paris, and he wanted everything to be right in place. His plan was working perfectly.

His plan to leave Y/N.

He had started to pack everything up in his room at the Hype House. The news of Y/N and Vinnie’s split had spread throughout the house.

Vinnie was quiet and closed off, not speaking to anyone, steering away from everyone.

Y/N of course had tried talking to him. To try to fix it all. She knew Vinnie was making a mistake, a horrible one at that, but he would just turn a blind eye. Completely neglecting her.

Vinnie had passed by his room one last time, the night before his flight.

He was standing in the middle of his now empty room and Y/N had entered Vinnie’s room.

“Please don’t leave me,” Y/N shakily let out, whimpering as she wrapped herself around Vinnie’s toned waist. Her head resting on his firm chest.

She broke down in an instant, tears pouring down her face, shuddering tears.

“You’re the love of my life, Vin,” She whispered into his chest. “Please, don’t leave me.”

It was like an instinct because he didn’t even realize that his arms were wrapped around her back, hugging her.

He stood tall, emotionless.

“Don’t make this harder than it has to be,” He muttered, as he loosened his arms around her.

He pulled away from her, walking out of his old room, leaving Y/N behind as she cried her heart out.

As Vinnie left the house, Y/N had slid down the wall in the now unclaimed room, crying on the floor.

She cried for a good twenty minutes. As her tears ceased, she breathed out as she examined the room in which she fell in love.

The memories that were made there.

She looked at the wall across from her. That’s where Vinnie’s desk and PC used to be. Vinnie would stream there, play Valorant, and where he taught her how to play video games. He would always let her sit on his lap as he played. She would sometimes stand behind his gaming chair and massage his broad shoulders, watching him play.

It broke her heart thinking.

Her eyes roamed to the big empty space in between the walls. That’s where his bed used to lay. The bed in which they watched movies and stayed up all night talking. It’s where they cuddled and made love.

Silent tears streamed down her warm cheek.

She would no longer be able to play with his soft curly hair and hug him. No longer be able to kiss his red plump lips, the ones she loved.

Her eyes roamed the door, the walls, his bathroom sink, his shower, where his bed used to lay, his PC area, all places they’d had sex.

It was all over.

After a while, she finally got the courage to walk out of his room. She walked across the hall to her room and dove under her covers.

All she wanted to do was drown in her sleep, hoping it would be all over when she woke up, like a terrible nightmare.

She tried her hardest to not cry. She felt like all she’s been doing since Vinnie broke things off with her is cry.

Y/N just wanted to be as emotionless as Vinnie. She didn’t want to feel the pain anymore.

Crying made her feel everything.

She didn’t want to cry anymore, just sleep.

She tossed and turned, uncovered herself and covered herself with her sheets, and even tried different sleeping positions. Nothing managed to get her to a restful sleep.

After what seemed like an hour, she couldn’t take it anymore. She was frustrated with herself, she felt angry.

All Y/N wanted was for her and Vinnie to be okay.

She stood up from her bed, grabbed her sheets, cover, and a pillow.

She walked across the hall and walked into the empty room.

She went to the corner in which she was crying in earlier.

She took a deep breath and dropped everything she had in her hands onto the floor.

Y/N spread her sheets across the cold floor and placed the pillow at the top.

Y/N got ahold of her duvet and covered herself under it, laying on top of her sheets. Her head on top of her pillow.

She looked around the dark room as she laid on the floor. She somehow felt at ease in what used to be Vinnie’s room.

She didn’t feel as lonely there. The tears from earlier had dried up on her face, but new ones brimmed.

She felt comfortable in his room but it broke her heart, thinking of everything that had occurred.

Y/N started crying on the bed she had put together on the floor. The comforter that covered her almost swallowed her whole. Her eyes and top of her head were all that could be seen.

Her breathing was getting rough, her eyes were stinging, her face was wet.

Her heart stung, it physically hurt. It felt as if it was being clenched and pulled away from her. All she wanted was for this pain to be over.

Her eyes were getting to the point where they were heavily drooping.

Next thing you know she was passed out on her ex-boyfriend’s floor.

Somewhere along the walls of the Hype House was Jacob Day.

Jacob Day was one of the newer members of the Hype House. He started living with them a couple months ago. Around the time where Vinnie and Y/N had started to get insanely busy.

Jacob heard about the news. He honestly did not expect it. He never really got to know Y/N nor Vinnie because they were hardly ever at the house. But he would always hear their names from Mia and Thomas and of course he knew of them.

He had seen Vinnie leave earlier that day. It was getting late and he decided to check up on Y/N.

Jacob didn’t know her all that well but knew that breakups were hard, especially theirs, everyone thought they’d be together forever. They really did seem in love, he’d thought.

It sounded cheesy but if anyone would have to bet money on who would last, it would be on them.

Plus, whenever Y/N was at the house, she was always kind and welcoming to him. And, it seemed like she was finally going to be spending more time at the house. Why not make a friend?

He wanted to return the kind gesture.

Jacob walked towards her room, knocking softly at her door.

The door slightly opened due to his knocks, and he caught sight of an empty room. Y/N was nowhere to be seen.

He took a slight turn about to head back to his room, but as he turned around he noticed the door across from hers. Vinnie’s room.

He stepped closer to Vinnie’s door and quietly placed his hand on the door handle. He would check just in case Y/N was in there. He had a feeling she was.

He soundlessly opened the door and it was pitch black in there. If it wasn’t for the moonlight’s reflection hitting the ground floor, he wouldn’t have noticed her.

Jacob frowned at the sight. He almost felt his heart pang. He didn’t know the girl, but it was still upsetting to see.

He didn’t know what to do. He stood there for a couple seconds, at the entrance of the room.

He didn’t want to wake her because what would he even say?

Jacob got the idea of letting Thomas know. Y/N and him were close, he would know what to do.

He quietly closed the door not wanting to wake her.

As soon as Jacob let Thomas know the situation, Thomas immediately went to the site. Jacob followed behind him.

Thomas walked into Vinnie’s empty dark room to find his best friend on the ground, sleeping.

At the sight, Thomas let out a sad sigh. He knew Y/N was struggling with Vinnie leaving.

Thomas neared closer to Y/N’s laid body. He bent down beside her and caught the sight of her red nose and cheeks alongside her puffy eyes.

Thomas carried her up and out of the floor, her blanket still wrapped around her body. Thomas and Jacob walked out of Vinnie’s room as Y/N was peacefully sleeping in Thomas’ arms, shutting the door closed behind them.

Y/N shifted in her sleep, realizing she was no longer on the comfortable floor.

She hummed as she squinted her eyes at the huge headache she had.

Y/N opened her eyes and realized that Thomas’ had lifted her out of the floor and was currently walking.

“Tom? What are you doing?” She asked sleepily, looking up at him.

“I’m taking you to mine and Mia’s room. You can sleep there,” He said sweetly, smiling down at her.

Y/N looked up at the ceiling and caught the glimpse of Jacob walking behind them.

Her eyes widened and she felt her cheeks warming up. She didn’t know Jacob all that well, and felt embarrassed that he had to see her that way.

She just huddled up with her blanket and onto Thomas' chest. Thomas was like her older brother, they had lived with each other for almost two years. She didn’t feel like she had to hide with him.

As Thomas made it to his room, he laid Y/N carefully next to a fully awake Mia.

Jacob awkwardly stood by the door and decided to go back to his room.

“I’ll leave you guys to it. Good night.” He said, waving at them.

Thomas and Mia wished him a good night and Thomas mouthed a “thank you” to him.

Jacob nodded with a smile and before he left, Y/N whispered a “good night” to him too.

He smiled and walked out the door.

Y/N looked away from the door and faced Mia, who was laying beside her.

“Come ‘ere” Mia said, wrapping her arms around Y/N knowingly.

Y/N let herself be embraced by her sweet best friend.

“I just miss him,” Y/N let out as Mia tightly hugged her.

“I know, baby. I know,” Mia comforted as she rubbed her back.

“You can sleep here for as long as you want,” Mia whispered after Y/N dried the tears off her face.

“Thanks. Both of you. You guys are the best,” Y/N said, finally letting out a smile.

“Is that a smile I see?” Thomas teasingly said.

“Maybe.” Y/N smiled.

She slept comfortably that night, they all did.

Present time

*a month later*

Y/N’s POV:

It had been a rough past couple of weeks but with everyday that came along, life seemed easier.

I had my career to be thankful for. It’s the most successful I’ve ever been.

I’ve gotten to spend more time with my friends and have even made a new one.

Jacob Day.

He’s a nice person to have around after a break up. Jacob is sweet, thoughtful, and caring.

I will admit, Jacob is one of the only reasons I’m able to smile, after Vinnie.

He got me out of the gutter and helped me see the light of day.

We’ve gotten to spend a lot of time together this past month.

Jacob knew that I was hurting and made it a mission to get me to feel better. Ever since that night where he found me sleeping in Vinnie’s room.

At first it started with Jacob coming to visit me in my room. We would spend time in my room. He’d let me vent to him about Vinnie. He genuinely cared about how I felt and how the breakup was affecting me. After a while our conversations no longer consisted of Vinnie. Our time progressed to us having movie nights in my room or playing card games.

After about a week he’d finally got me out of my room. He helped me get ready, when it was the last thing I wanted to do. Jacob would help me pick out outfits and would make me sit on my vanity to do my makeup or my hair. He would wait patiently for me to get ready.

Whether it was just to go out for a walk or to grab a coffee. He’d wait however long. Knowing I would feel great, afterwards.

He was the sweetest.

We even planned and executed a Disneyland trip after watching countless of Disney movies. Now that was one of the best days I’ve had this past month.

If it wasn’t for Jacob I’d still be crying in my bed over Vinnie.

I was currently all dolled up in the kitchen waiting for Jacob to come downstairs for a coffee outing.

Mia was cooking food, while Thomas and I were standing around the kitchen.

“You sure you don’t want some food, Y/N/N?” Mia asked sweetly.

I shook my head thankfully.

“No thank you. I would but Jacob and I are going to grab some coffee,” I smiled over at her. “It looks delicious though!”

Mia smiled back with a nod.

“You know, you have been drinking a lot of coffee lately!” Thomas acknowledged.

“I know!” I exclaimed. “It’s all because of Jacob. His addiction to coffee is wearing out on me,”

“Do you get a coffee everytime he gets one too?!” Thomas questions with a shocked expression.

“Maybe…” I say with a smirk.

Mia and Thomas let out gasps.

“He just gets really good coffee and they’re really yummy!” I explain with a smile.

“Well I’m glad you two are getting along,” Thomas smiles.

“Yeah,” I nod. “Me too.”

I look over at Mia and she has a teasing smile on her face.

“Alright, what are you going on about?! What’s the foolish smirk for?” I ask with a playful eyeroll.

“You two are just spending a lot of time together-” Mia starts to converse before Thomas chimes in. “Like everyday!” He pipes in.

“All I’m going to say is I’m certain with all the time you two have spent together, Jacob must have some feelings for you,” Mia implored. “And I’m not mad about it!”

I rolled my eyes with a smile.

“Well I made it crystal clear to Jacob from the beginning that I’m not looking for anything and he knows that,” I declared.

“Well why did you have to make it crystal clear?” Thomas asked with a knowing smirk.

I rolled my eyes with a small blush as Mia elbowed me.

“Because we’ve gotten close to kissing a couple times and I do not want to lead him on and make him think we’re an item when we’re not. Vinnie and I’s break up is still fresh and I can not possibly have it in me to date someone at the moment,” I confessed.

“At the moment,” Both Thomas and Mia repeated.

“You two are crazy,” I say, shaking my head, with a little laugh slipping through my lips.

“Y/N!” I heard Jacob call out as he walked down the staircase.

“I’m in the kitchen,” I yell out.

“Is that a smile I see?” Thomas says as he furrows his eyebrows at me.

“No.” I say sassily.

“Rightt..” Mia trails off.

Jacob walks into the kitchen, his eyes meeting mine instantly.

He smiles widely as he walks over to me.

“Hey Jacob!” Mia cheerfully lets out.

“Hey Mia,” Jacob replies, his voice naturally deep.

“What’s up Jacob,” Thomas greets Jacob.

“Morning man,” Jacob smiles as Thomas and him fist bump each other.

“You ready to go?” Jacob asks, looking down at me.

I nod with a smile as he takes a hold of my arm.

Jacob was about to lead us out when Mia holds us back with a question.

“Jacob doesn’t Y/N look phenomenal today. There’s just something about her,” Mia asks.

My eyes widened.

“Really? I think she looks beautiful everyday,” Jacob answers cluelessly.

I let out a breath of relief knowing he didn’t catch onto Mia’s game. But, then I feel warm inside as I realize what he said.

“Aww! Thanks J!” I smile, embracing him in a hug.

Jacob lets out a chuckle holding me in his arms.

“Come on, let's go,” He says as we let go of our hug.

We walk towards the garage and he opens the passenger door of his car for me. I hop into his Corvette and fasten my seatbelt as he closes the door behind me. He hops into the driver’s seat turning the engine on.

“I was thinking we could go for brunch instead of just coffee, I’m getting hungry. How does that sound?” Jacob suggests.

“That sounds perfect!” I smile.

Vinnie’s POV:

Present time

I’m finally laying in my bed. Finally able to breath and relax.

But it’s unsettling. I feel out of my skin.

I’m no longer filled up with work, no longer able to avoid my problems. No longer able to ignore the thoughts of Y/N.

Now that I’m home, in California, after a whole month.

I wish it could all be a lie. Was I that stupid to let Y/N go?

I had been too busy in Paris with Ami doing press and photoshoots to even let my heart feel anything.

Now that I’m all alone, locked up in my room, I don’t know how to feel or what to do without her.

I haven’t even let myself feel the truth.

In my head, Y/N is still my girlfriend. We’re still together in my mind and heart.

I haven’t acknowledged the truth.

This last week, I had agreed and accepted my invitation to go to Seoul for Fashion Week. My heart had hoped that Y/N was going to be there too, but I never saw her. I don’t even think she attended, which caught me by surprise.

I was finally back home. If I could even call this new house a home. No one knew I was back in California, only Jack and Jett. According to the internet I’m still in Seoul.

Laying in this dark room, everything that I’ve been ignoring and avoiding has come to bite me in the ass.

The silence and emptiness is itching at me.

My mind can’t stop wandering to her.

What is she doing right now? Is she thinking of me too?

My mind wandered to my last night in California before going to Paris.

I sniffled, remembering Y/N crying in my chest, hugging me.

The way I just left her crying. I was such a jerk. Such a fucking asshole.

But I was hurting just as much as her. But we both wouldn’t have been in that predicament if I wouldn’t have been such a bitch and waited a month.

We both still could’ve been together. I know it for a fact. I would be laying with her, cuddling her right now, probably having the best night of my life with her if I would’ve just accepted that being in a long distance relationship wouldn’t be that bad. It would be worth it at this exact moment in time.

I stood up angrily out of my bed, headed straight for the wall, fist landing into the wall.

I felt my blood rushing to my fist and I let out a huff.

Nothing I put myself through, including causing myself pain, hurts more than what I’m feeling right now.

I let out a frustrated yell, landing on the floor. My legs pressed against my chest.

I pulled out my phone from my pocket and did something I haven’t done this past month.

I opened up Y/N’s instagram page. I clicked on her most recent photo on her feed and my heart felt like it was being ripped out of my chest.

She looked so beautiful. She was smiling brightly with her perfect white teeth. Her hair falled over her shoulder.

All the tears that have been stored in, fell right then and there.

My loud crying filled the room.

My cheeks were all wet as I swiped to her next photo.

She looked so elegant and precious. I remember I was always the one who took photos of her for Instagram. I wonder who’s taking them for her now?

A smile grew on my face, watching her smile through my phone screen. I’m glad she’s able to move on and carry on with her day, with a smile. She deserves that and the whole world. I deserve to be the one that’s crying after a month of our breakup.

My heart breaks knowing I’m not the cause of that smile, not anymore.

And she’s working on herself. God, I’m proud of her. Her eyes are captivating in the first photo.

I get a flashback of her crying with her red puffy eyes. But she looks happy now.

“Me too baby. Me too.” I let out.

I then scroll to another photo and what I see stabs me in the heart.

It’s a photo of a tall dark haired guy, standing next to my Y/N. They’re both smiling happily in front of the Disneyland castle.

I instantly felt the pain.

She was happy with someone else and it’s all my fault.

It was Jacob, one of the other guys from the Hype House.

Y/N didn’t even know this guy but I guess she does now. She was all alone after I left, but I’m sure that’s how she got to know Jacob. Knowing that they live together is worse.

I couldn’t take it anymore. I turned off my phone and threw it across the room.

I started crying into my lap.

I had lost the girl of my dreams. All because I let the negativity get into my head.

We could’ve waited a month. She told me she’d always wait for me. I thought I was doing her a favor, us a favor.

But I know she would’ve been sad and missing me once I was in Paris, if I hadn’t broken up with her. I couldn’t put her through that pain again. We had already been distant with the countless fashion weeks we attended. Paris was just the cherry on the top.

But now look at what I've done.

As I finally look at her page, for the first time since we’ve broken up I see this.

I’m not even mad at her. She deserves to be happy. I’m just angry at myself, knowing that, that would’ve never happened if I would’ve just stayed with her. If I would’ve just made it work. We both would’ve worked long distance. She knew it and now I know it. But it’s too late now.

I stand up from the ground, grab my phone and lay in bed.

I open up Tiktok and go onto Jacob’s page. I know it’s going to hurt, but I need to know more about him. I need to see what Y/N sees in him.

I go onto his page and click on a random video.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV33M2J/

Great, of course the first video I see of him is a thirst trap. Showing off his six-pack that is seeping through his shirt and his foolish little smile at the end.

I scroll onto another one of his tiktok’s.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV3psAE/

Oh, wonderful, now I actually get to see him shirtless. Just great.

Is this who Y/N is with now? I wonder if they’re an item?

God, I hope not.

I quickly went from annoyed and angry to hurt again.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV3v9ka/

This tiktok, knowing that Y/N was with him. Making it worse, is that they were at Disneyland.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRV3XNSb/

Okay, now this one hurts.

I remember when Y/N, Thomas, Mia, and I were the ones who would go out. Now it’s them, with Jacob, not me.

I felt a sense of betrayal from Thomas and Mia, they were my friends too and they know how I feel about Y/N.

Thomas knew that one day I would marry Y/N, he knew that. How could he be out and about with Y/N and some other guy.

I watched the tiktok again, realizing that they had their Corvettes. Knowing damn well that each car fits two people.

Y/N and Jacob must’ve been riding together and I hated knowing that.

It tore me apart thinking of Y/N in a fast car, with another guy.

It used to be me, driving around with her. In my car. No one else’s. Car rides are always intimate.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRgya8PJ/

Okay, I’ve gotten to the tiktoks that they’ve made together.

It broke my heart. Seeing them, seeing her, happy.

Not that I didn’t want her to be happy, but because it was with him and not with me.

But I’m to blame, which angers me more.

But their matching outfits and the way they danced so happily, with smiles on their faces.

It seems like he makes her happy. He seems happy too.

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRgyVJCc/

They’ve all hurt me. But this tiktok in particular hurt me the most.

The way Thomas was instigating behind the camera. Y/N and Jacob sitting next to each other at the movie theater.

Both Y/N and Jacob being shy to the idea of the middle compartment between their seats being able to move up, allowing an open space between them.

Jacob’s voice low and surprised at the realization. “Woah” he says and glances at Y/N as he lifts up the compartment.

“Dude, it's your chance.” Thomas insists.

Y/N blushing and looking away at the comment.

Maybe I’m looking too much into it. But it’s evident that there’s something between them.

But, the way Y/N giggles and blushes as she looks at Jacob, it brings tears to my eyes. I sniff as I rewatch the video.

I shut my phone off not being able to put myself through watching more of their tiktoks.

I shut my eyes, I feel the pain of my reddened eyes as they close. I grab a pillow and stuff it onto my face.

I grunt out and throw the pillow across my bed, landing on the floor.

I go to grab it, only to let out the whimpers and cries I’ve been holding in.

I lay on the pillow and let it all out, once again.

I just want all of this pain to go away.

My loud cries were heard all around my room.

After what felt like hours of crying in bed, I grabbed my phone, opened up iMessages and opened up her contact.

I reluctantly started typing a text.

‘Hey.”

But then quickly deleted it, before I started typing again.

“I’m finally back in LA”

No. I shake my head before deleting it again.

“hey, it’s been a while.”

“do you wanna maybe meet up?”

I let out a grunt before shutting off my phone. I didn’t have the guts to even send her those messages. I guess it’s better if I don’t, she’s happy without me. I don’t want to the reason to ruin that for her. I’ve done enough harm.

But little did Vinnie know that with a slip of his finger, he sent it. Unknowingly.

Y/N’s POV:

I had just gotten home after having brunch with Jacob.

I was slurping into a boba drink, sitting on an oversized bean bag chair in the living room, when my phone went off two times.

“Hmm,” I hummed to myself as I grabbed my phone.

My heart instantly fell as I saw Vinnie’s contact appear on my lockscreen with the messages reading:

“hey, it’s been a while.”

“do you wanna maybe meet up?”

Vinnie’s contact still had a red heart beside it from when we were together.

I didn’t even realize my eyes were watery until my reflection appeared on the black screen my phone showcased once the lock screen turned off.

I wiped my tears away.

Yeah, I’ve been feeling happy and having a fun time. But Vinnie was always in my heart. The pain never went away, it was always there. It wasn’t as grave anymore, but it remained punctured in my heart.

My breath shuddered, I didn’t even know what to do.

He wanted to meet up? I didn’t even know he was back in California. I thought he would still be in Seoul for fashion week.

I got invited to attend but I wanted to keep myself as far away from Vinnie as possible. I wouldn’t be able to adverse myself into work knowing that at any given moment I would bump into Vinnie or catch a glimpse of him. I couldn’t possibly bear to see him.

I declined their offer.

It’s been a month. I’m sure he’s done with Ami Paris.

So he’s back.

My heart swelled at the fact. My heart tingled, my stomach filled with butterflies.

But the tears streamed down my face knowing we’re not together. He broke me in half, and hurt me like no other. But, I was happy knowing he’s back. Vinnie will always hold a special place in my heart.

I missed him. More than anything. I sniffled, letting my head fall down. I wiped my tears away not wanting anyone to see.

Jacob, Mia, or Thomas could walk past any second and I wouldn’t know how to explain the tears or my sudden sadness.

I stand up from the bean bag chair and head up the stairs to my room.

As I make it to my room, I lock it behind me and sit at the edge of my bed. Staring profusely at the message.

I read them over, countless times. I don’t even know what to do or what to reply. I do want to reply, but how?

He broke my heart, left me. It would be pathetic of me to run back to him once he’s now available.

But I love him.

The tears now willingly and slowly streamed down my cheeks.

Oh, Vinnie.

My fingers grazed over the keyboard that was shown through the screen.

Mindlessly they started typing.

Hey.

I don’t send it yet, thinking of how I would even respond to his second text.

I thought about meeting up with him. Seeing his beautiful light brown eyes. His magnificent hair, his delightful smile.

His enticing lips.

God, but why did he have to break up with me?

This past month, all I’ve been doing is question his poor actions that not only affected him, but me.

How could he be so careless? To my feelings, to my emotions. I loved him. I still love him. But he ruined that.

Why did he give up on us?

I sniffle at the thought.

Sure, why not.

I type and send both messages.

What else do I have to lose?

I turned off my phone once both messages appeared as blue bubbles.

My heart is racing and my hands are sweaty.

I threw my phone onto the mattress and sat there in thought.

My thoughts were interrupted shortly after by my phone going off.

My eyes widened. That quick?

I quickly grab my phone and see Vinnie’s contact on my lockscreen.

The message reading:

Here’s my address

I’m free the rest of the day

I respond:

be there in an hour.

Okay, now I’m nervous.

I could always cancel?

Seeing him again is going to be overwhelming. I could already feel it.

But if I text him, telling him I’m not going to go anymore. I’d regret it.

The only option left now is meeting up with him.

I let out a sigh and stood up from my bed.

Looking into the mirror, I retouch my smeared makeup and choose a different outfit.

I’m going to see Vinnie again after everything that went down. I have to dress for the occasion.

I look through my closet. All I know is that I have to choose an outfit that hugs all the right parts of my body. Screaming and showing him what he decided to leave; unattended and unclaimed.

I wore a white, skin tight cropped tank top that cut low into my breasts. Lace filled the rims of the tank top. Paired with light washed blue denim pants that hugged every angle perfectly.

I smiled at myself at my reflection through the mirror.

I grabbed my car keys off my desk, walked out my room, down the stairs and out to my car.

I didn’t want anyone to question where I was going so I left without notice.

I drove down the hill, plugged in the address to my phone leading the way to Vinnie’s new home.

It was thirty minutes away.

Vinnie’s POV:

I’m FREAKING out.

I am in no way shape or form prepared to see Y/N.

How in the world could I be such a dumbass? How did those messages even manage to be sent?

But what’s done is done.

Y/N said she was going to be here in an hour. That was 40 minutes ago.

I'm fresh out of the shower. I’ve sprayed on cologne but I might’ve put too much on, so now I’m a nervous wreck. I don’t want to smell like I’ve dumped the whole bottle on myself.

I feel like pulling my hair out.

I took a couple deep breaths before sitting down on the couch.

I’m wearing a white fitted t-shirt with khaki cargo pants. Nothing too crazy.

I fiddle with my rings distracting myself from my crazed thoughts.

What are we even going to talk about? I didn’t intend for this meet up and now I’m stuck with it.

Not that I don’t want to see her because God knows I do, just not under these circumstances.

She’ll be expecting a reason for coming over and I have none.

What have I gotten myself into?

How did those damn messages get sent?

Y/N’s POV:

I’m pulling up to his driveway and I park by his entrance.

So this is his new home?

It’s on a private road, nothing extreme like the Hype House but secluded.

I sigh before exiting my car. I nervously walk to the front door.

Should I have texted him that I’m here? Maybe knocking at the door or ringing the doorbell is overstepping a boundary.

But, I’m already at the door, there’s no point in going back.

I knock and immediately put my hand back down.

I feel like I just ran a marathon because I suddenly feel warm and my heart’s beating a hundred beats per second.

It feels like an eternity before the door opens, revealing a Vincent Cole Hacker. Right in front of me, in the flesh.

I feel my heart instantly break again as my eyes meet with his honey ones. Just seeing him hurts. I don’t know if I should turn around and leave, crying in my car seems like a perfect idea right now.

We both stand awkwardly at the door. Neither he nor I initiates a conversation or a gesture.

I break eye contact and my eyes are roaming anywhere but his. I instantly feel small and regret coming in the first place.

I could feel Vinnie’s eyes no longer on mine, but on my body. His eyes were trailing my body, I felt them like lasers against my now vulnerable skin.

I get the courage to look back into his eyes and he meets with mine again.

He clears his throat and speaks up.

“Y/N, hey. Uh- come in.” He says deeply. I could tell he was nervous.

I sent him a forced smile and walked in.

As I set foot into his house he closed the door behind us.

My eyes roam the new surroundings. It’s nice and spacious here.

As I’m taking it all in he invites me to the kitchen.

I follow behind him as he leads me to a seat in his kitchen island.

“Want a water?” He asks me delicately. Almost as if he spoke too loud we’d both wake up from this dream or somehow ruin this bizarre moment.

I hum a response along with a nod.

He smiles a small smile, before turning away from me, to grab a bottle from the refrigerator. His back facing me.

His small smile brings heat into my cheeks for a small moment, my tummy fills with a few butterflies.

I hate how with just the smallest smile, he can send my body into abyss.

He turns back around and hands me the bottle.

I open it because suddenly I’m thirsty.

I gulp down a couple sips. His eyes darted to the bottle against my lips, to my jawline, down to my neck and chest.

I place the bottle down on the counter once I’m done, his eyes never leaving me.

I clear my throat quietly to gain his attention back.

His eyes widened as he realized I caught him checking me out. His cheeks turn deep red.

Vinnie’s mouth opens to apologize or throw me a lame excuse to hide the fact that he was looking at the most sacred parts of my body.

“I know it must be hard,” I let out, our eyes meeting once again.

“Yeah…” He trails out, his hand meeting the back of his head, scratching his curls nervously. “Sorry about that.”

I don’t utter a response back

He’s standing awkwardly inbetween the fridge and the kitchen island.

“You know you can sit, right? It’s your house.” I say, a small smile forming on my face.

A chuckle leaving my lips, he seems to lighten up a bit.

“Right,” He says cutely, as he takes a seat adjacent to me. Gosh, I forgot how darn adorable he was when he was nervous.

I smile, a tint of pink on my face.

“So, how’s everything?” He says once he got comfortable in his seat.

The air in the room feels a tad bit more relaxed and less awkward now.

I take a couple seconds to respond to his question.

“It’s been good,” I say with a trail in my voice, almost like I’m convincing myself it’s been good.

“Yeah?” He questions with a furrow in his brow. His voice soft and caring.

“I mean what else could I say?” I respond with a shrug, breaking eye contact as I look anywhere but him. I felt my throat clenching and tightening, along with my sudden pained heart.

He let out a sigh. “Yeah.” He says like he understands what I mean. I look back over to him.

He’s looking down at the counter and I let out a silent sigh myself.

“What about you? How was Ami Paris?” I ask, slightly changing the forsaken conversation, genuinely interested in the new topic.

I would’ve expected him to look back up but instead he slouches even more, if that was even possible.

I guess the words ‘Ami Paris’ brings back memories. It sure does to me. I know it does for him.

After a couple of quiet moments he looks back up and the way his saddened eyes bore into mine, it almost brings me to tears. But I hold them back.

“It’s over, finally.” He whispers the last part to himself, but I hear it plain as day.

“Great opportunity, though. I’m sure,” I say, trying to lighten up the mood.

He looks up with a nod.

“Yeah,” He says with pressed lips. He’s holding back his words, I know he is.

He clears his throat.

“So how long have you been back?” I questioned.

His eyes met mine, right as my voice met his ears.

“I got back late last night. Today’s my first official day back,” He informs.

I nod my head, listening to his sweet voice and the words that slip through his lips.

“I just had to leave Seoul,” He huffed, almost sounding distressed. His hand met with the roots of his hair, slipping through.

“It ended already, if I’m correct?” I questioned, referring to the fashion show.

He hums, nodding his head.

“Yeah. I was invited to a couple after party events. But, I just needed to come back home, though,” He sighed softly.

I nodded.

I could tell it was a sour subject for him and I didn’t want to press him.

The kitchen became heavy, again.

It was quiet. Not a comfortable silence, but an awkward one.

Both of his arms were holding his head. He was facing down into the marbled island.

My eyes met him. His broad shoulders and biceps were in plain sight. The tattoos on his arms, exposed, bringing back memories. Memories in which my fingers have traced those same tattoos thousands of times. Tattoos that were practically mine at the time. I still feel a deep connection to them.

I didn’t even realize the sigh that escaped my lips.

The sigh that slipped through my lips made him look up at me.

He sent me a sympathetic smile. Almost as if he knew exactly how I felt.

“It’s been a while, right?” He asked, raising an eyebrow at me.

I only nod.

His jaw was clenched and he rolled his tongue on the inside of his cheek.

If it wasn’t for the wall that barricaded my emotions and heart, I would’ve straddled him then and there. Kissing him endlessly. The sight of his tight jaw, in a perfect angle, made me feel indescribable feelings.

But the Y/N that would do that is gone. The Y/N that was Vinnie’s girl is no longer in existence. I’m no longer his girlfriend. It’s not my place to kiss him, even though I’m dying to.

At the same time though, it hurts me. The thoughts of kissing him and straddling him right here in his kitchen sends my heart into ache.

Vinnie hurt me. I loved him, with my life and he took that for granted. I wasn’t going to fall at his feet just because I love him.

His choice to leave me has consequences.

He locked his eyes with mine. I stared back at him, not saying a word.

At this point, I just wanted to go back home and fall under my blankets.

What was the point of being here if we were going to sit in awkward silence?

Right as I was going to leave this awkward situation he spoke up.

“I’m really sorry,” He croaked out, voice cracking.

He looked at me, waiting for a response, a reaction.

All he got from me was a deadpan stare.

His eyes pleaded for a response, my heart crinkled.

“I don’t know what you want me to say Vinnie,” I respond, not meaning for it to come out as harsh as it did. But it did.

“I-II know,” He quickly retorted. “A-and you don't have to. I screwed up. Big time. I’m such an idiot. A big fucking idiot. And you don’t deserve this. I’m lucky enough that you came and that you’re sitting here, listening to my damn excuses.” He rambled on, as I sat listening.

Still with a neutral face, but on the inside I’m confused as to how to feel.

I already knew the second he broke things off that he was making a mistake and I was going to rub it in. I had to be a bit selfish and he couldn’t be upset about it.

“But yet you still decided to go on with the breakup. How is your smart decision going now?” I let out.

I was being harsh, I know. But he broke me into a million pieces and I had to put them all back together. And I’m barely starting to get back on with my life but he had to barge back in.

“You were right,” He whispered, breaking our eye contact. Coward.

“Yeah, well, it’s too late for that now,” I stated, softly but definitively.

I pushed the chair back and as I was about to stand up to leave, he interrupted speaking pleadingly, begging.

“Please, Y/N!” He stood up, out of his seat. My eyes met his figure.

His eyes were glossy, his cheeks and ears a pomegranate red.

My heart was met with a pang. All I wanted to do was run away. Being here was too much, it’s overwhelming.

“I think meeting up was too soon. The breakup is still fresh and clearly we’re both not over it. I know you’re hurting Vinnie but remember this was your idea. I was there too, right where you are now. It’ll get better though. Trust me, you just have to have the right people supporting and surrounding you,” I say, just wanting to get the hell out of there.

I didn’t even look back at him as I walked away, to see how my words affected him. I just wanted to leave this whole thing.

As I was bare inches away from exiting the kitchen, the same way I entered, Vinnie caught my attention again.

I stopped midway as the words met my ears.

“What, like how you have Jacob?” His words were filled with anger. The first harsh words he’s sent me today.

I scoffed as I turned back to face him.

He was still standing in the spot where he was on the verge of tears. That Vinnie is gone.

The Vinnie I was facing now, was fuming.

“As a matter of fact, yes Vinnie! Jacob would be a prime example,” I screamed out.

He just stood there, death glaring. He stood there silently, the steam fuming out of his ears was almost evident.

All I could do was roll my eyes and start walking away again. My back facing him.

I was over it already.

Of course, as I was about to exit Vinnie shot me another comment.

“Yeah, go run back to Jacob!” He rudely yelled out.

I turned around quickly.

“At least I have someone to run to!” I screamed out.

He let out a loud grunt, not expecting my response. His fists met with the marbled stone. He let out a hefty yell, after punching the kitchen island.

I saw the red bruised knuckles he carried around, they were fresh but not seconds fresh.

“Go punch some more walls, or whatever you’ve been up to,” I angrily blurt out.

I let out an upsetting huff and turned to walk away this time.

I was already walking out the living room, when I heard him quickly trying to catch up to me.

“Just leave me alone, Vinnie. This was a mistake. Coming here was a mistake. I thought meeting up might somehow make things better, but I was clearly wrong.” I say, meeting with his soft brown eyes again.

“No, Y/N, I’m sorry. “ He tried apologizing.

“No, don’t fucking apologize! I’m tired of your apologies and dumbass excuses. Just admit it, you were a little bitch. A fucking coward, couldn’t even be a man and work for our love. I gave you my all and you couldn’t even wait. What four weeks? Me and you could’ve been having the time of our lives right now in Seoul. God, I’m glad we broke up. This just showed me that I don’t want someone like you in my life. Why would I want a boyfriend who can’t even love me enough to fight for us. It was great, what we had Vinnie, but it’s over.” I expressed turning around. Goodbye Vin-” I was saying mid-turn trying to walk towards the front door, until I was stopped from continuing.

Vinnie had grabbed ahold of my hand, pulled me towards him and pressed his lips onto mine. It all happened so fast, I didn’t capture what just occurred until my lips were on his.

He had smashed his lips onto mine, it was full of fierce and passionate energy. I was taken aback. I stood still, my lips were motionless against his. I was in shock but the arm he had tightly wrapped around my exposed back and the hand that was softly yet firmly set on my cheek brought me back to life.

My lips fought back against his, ferociously. Our lips were at battle, our breathing was trying to catch up to us.

My arms quickly wrapped around his neck, pulling him down to me, despite my feet tippy toeing to reach his tall figure.

He lifted me off the floor and I wrapped my legs around his waist. The palm of his hands were pressed against my ass. I could feel his long fingers pressed against my skin through my denim.

As our swollen lips were reuniting, he gestured my ass against his firm waist causing me to let out a whimper.

The sudden friction against my core caused warmness to travel all across my body.

Vinnie’s eyes shot open due to the breathy moan I let out, disconnecting our kiss, I could feel his eyes on my visage.

My eyes were screwed shut and layed my face on his shoulder. I bucked my hips into his waist in hopes of feeling that same tingly feeling he caused me. I did it again but the sensation did not meet the one that Vinnie caused.

I let out a deep breath in defeat. But my heart accelerated when I felt Vinnie’s hand rocking me into him. I let out a sigh as my heat pressed against his toned skin that could be felt through his tight shirt. His hands gripped my ass and at the angle that he had me in and with every rock towards him, my clit was being pressed into the denim of my jeans and the roughness of his skin.

I let out whimpers and I could feel the sweat forming on my forehead.

Third Person POV:

Vinnie was forming hard on, caused by his doing. Y/N was penetrating herself against him and he was helping her.

His eyes met her. She had her head rested on his shoulder and her legs wrapped around his body.

Vinnie lowered his face and pressed his lips on her soft skin. Her breasts look divine in the small tank top she wore. Vinnie came into contact with the lace that accentuated her boobs.

Y/N could feel Vinnie’s lips pressed against her exposed boobs.

She couldn’t believe what was happening but the ever-amazing feeling that she was feeling on her clit with every swift moment, caused her not to care.

All the tension she’s had for the past month was being soothed against her pants.

Vinnie’s thumb swept against her nipple and Y/N felt a ray of lightning hit her core.

Vinnie could feel her nipple hardening at his touch. He proceeded to do the same with the other nub.

As he toyed with Y/N’s breasts he lowered her down onto his hard dick and with the impact of both of their cores meeting they both let out groans.

Y/N’s POV:

As I felt Vinnie’s hard dick against my vagina’s lips, an even more explicit feeling coursed through my veins. I wanted and needed more of him.

“Vinnie,” I let out softly as I continued to rock myself against his bricked dick.

“We’ll talk about it later.” He whispered in response.

And with that I was content with what was happening.

I nodded and pressed my lips against his cheek.

I looked behind Vinnie and saw the stairs that I presume leads to his room.

And for the first time since our sexual encounter our eyes met. It felt like we were in a trance.

I lifted my head towards the stairs, non-verbally telling him to take us to his room.

He smiled and turned his body towards the stairs. Not letting go of me as he walked up them.

His hands stayed on my ass, pressed firmly on it as I started sucking on the soft skin of his neck.

I aimed for his soft spot that I’ve grown to memorize for moments like these.

“Oh fuck.” Vinnie slipped out.

I smiled as I heard his little moan knowing I was the one causing his pleasure.

We finally made it to a large room, instantly recognizing the familiar bed frame.

Vinnie dropped me onto the comfy mattress, I layed there sprawled on his bed as he eyes me from above.

Our eyes interlocked as I heavily breathed on his bed, feeling the look in his eye.

None of us make a sound, only admiring one another.

He sank down towards me, his hand on either side of my body. He gently grabbed ahold of me, lifting me up as he laid on the bed. Placing me on top of him.

It was a gentle and sweet gesture but as our eyes met I knew he was ready to commence.

I was straddling his laid body. Both of our heats aligned to one another.

His hands are on both sides of my hips, ready to start rocking me against his hard member. I placed my hands on his lower abdomen, steadying myself.

We both gave each other little nods before we continued.

I rocked forward in sync with Vinnie’s arms pulling me towards him, against his hard dick.

As I met his hardness, I felt myself dampen further into my panties.

I closed my eyes right before rolling them. I’ve definitely missed my clit on the verge of climaxing. And not just one driven by me, but one with the help of a male. Apparently that male was destined to be with Vinnie, again.

I fluttered my eyes open to the sound of Vinnie’s grunt.

His face is tight and his brows are furrowed. He’s beautiful.

Vinnie fastened our rocking and I could feel the bundle of nerves that consists of my clit feeling immense pleasure with each second that was met with the bulge in his pants. With this rhythm I’d be cumming in no time.

“Vinnie. I’m going to cum soon,” I whispered, before closing my eyes forcing myself deeper into the curve in his pants.

“Oh fuck, me too.” He let out a gasp, feeling me forcing myself lower onto his hard on.

“I need to take my fucking jeans off,” I desperately say.

I lift myself up slightly from Vinnie's lap, unbuttoning my jeans and tearing them apart.

As soon as I was left in my panties, Vinnie stripped from his pants.

I ripped my tank off and Vinnie was on the verge of taking his t-shirt off.

“Can’t even wait for me?” Vinnie smirked as I continued dry humping him.

His shirt was way over his head when his hands gripped my lower waist.

He readjusted himself up and cupped one of my breasts through the padding of my bra.

He gave it a rough squeeze. “I love your boobs!”

I smirked and his eyes trailed to my other breast.

“Well, why have them covered?” I beam as I smirk, unclasping my bra, exposing my breasts.

I lean forward towards his face and he happily gapes his mouth open, taking one of my breasts into his mouth.

His tongue swirls around my nipple and my hips involuntarily shake due to the sudden pleasure that rushes to my clit.

My breath hitches as Vinnie sucks my nipple causing me to grab ahold of his torso.

He bucks his hips up causing the bundle of nerves in between my legs to meet with his hard dick. I let out a loud vocal moan.

I seep my underwear to the side, exposing my bare clit, allowing it to meet the clothed rockness of Vinnie’s dick.

I continue moving forward, in a quicker state, my bare clit meeting Vinnie hardness.

“Oh, oh, fuck.” I loudly moan out. My heart is accelerating and as I pant out for air.

I could feel my nipples hardening to the new amount of pleasure seeping through me.

“God, Vinnie. This feels too good. Please keep going,” I plead.

Vinnie pinches the unattended nipple and twists it, tightening it in between his thumb and index finger. His mouth filled with my other tit.

His free hand met with my bare skin in between my legs.

“You’re so wet,” He groans.

His middle finger and index finger start to massage my clit.

“O-oh, Vinnie.” I instantly cried out, feeling spinny.

I shut my eyes as his fingers swirled in slow and steady circular motions, hitting that one particular sensitive spot each time.

I shuddered, my toes curling. As much as Vinnie’s fingers brought me to glory I ached for his dick inside of me. But, Vinnie’s fingers just made me want to come undone.

I’m a shaking mess and he roughly fastens the swift movements against my clit. My eyes met his determined face.

His brows knitted together as he held in his breath. My eyes trailed to his arm that met the lips in between my legs.

“Vinnie, please.” I begged as my fingers grazed into his briefs.

He was making me a mess. God, how could I have forgotten how good he was at sex and at making me feel so fucking good.

I looked up and met his honey colored eyes as I was on the verge of cumming right into his pretty hands.

He had a proud smile and I just let out a small laugh, playfully rolling my eyes.

Vinnie's hands left my core and I pouted.

He looked up at me and let out a laugh.

“Don’t worry I’ll have you cumming in no time. I know you were so close and you’re probably upset at me for stopping. But I promise it’ll be worth it.” He smiled, leaning up to me.

His mouth nearing my ear, whispering. “I’ll be slamming into you so right that you won’t be able to stop yourself from cumming. I want to see you shaking out of control, grabbing hold of me because it’s too much for you to handle. It’s going to be so fucking overwhelming but you’ll be begging me to not stop. I promise.”

His voice sent tingles and shivers down my neck, covering my whole body.

A small whimper escaped my lips as I nodded.

I wanted to be fucked by Vinnie, so hard that I won’t even remember where I am. The only thing I’d feel is my body combusting and coming undone.

I lifted my body up allowing myself to slip his underwear off.

Vinnie managed to kick them off. Both of us are now naked on his bed.

So, this is really happening?

Vinnie’s dick springing up after being released from his underwear. The sight of his cock caused my brain to shut down.

Without a thought, my hand slightly inched towards his member. For a second, I held back. My heartbroken state came back for a second but as quickly as it came it went away.

My hands gently met his precious penis. Such a pretty figure.

I swear if it wasn’t for Vinnie being an ass my lips and mouth would’ve been obliterating his dick right now.

But for now my hands will have to do.

The tip of my finger met the head, precum lubricating it.

A sigh was heard, almost sounding like a wince escaping Vinnie's lips.

I gently grazed my hand down his member. Not exactly giving him a handjob. More of showing my infatuation for it.

I bent down slowly, placing my lips on the sensitive tip of his penis.

Vinnie was muttering silent profanities, I could tell he was trying his hardest not to buck his hips up. He wanted my lips wrapped around his member, badly.

But, if anyone was going to pleasure someone, it was going to be him pleasuring me.

I slightly gripped his dick and pressed it against the bundle of nerves aching for him.

I maneuvered the head of his penis up and down my lips, meeting my clit every time his head went up my lips.

I shivered and croaked out a moan due to the touch of his dick.

Vinnie hissed at the grip my hand has on his penis.

His hands roamed up my bare stomach. His touch against my skin sent shivers up and down my body.

I kept steady movements and started rocking my hips to insync with the touch of Vinnie’s dick hitting against my clit.

Stars appeared in my head with each hard impact that met on my clit.

I gaped out for air. My hips abruptly lifted away from his member due to the immense amount of pleasure coursing through my body. Vinnie quickly set his hands firmly on my hips, keeping me set on top of him. Knowing damn well that I was close to cumming soon.

I lifted myself up and aligned Vinnie’s dick to my entrance and slowly lowered myself onto him.

Our breaths hitched. My eyes fluttered closed, I placed my hands on his lower abs for support.

I could feel the hardness of his penis seeping through me. The head of his dick was completely in me, I could feel my walls clenching around Vinnie, causing him to let out a pleased moan.

I continued lowering myself, the feeling of fulfillment seeping through my blood.

I let out small whimpers as I adjusted to his full length.

He was balls deep in when he let out a grunt. My pussy was clenching his hard cock. It felt amazing. So full and great in me.

“You’re so fucking tight…” He grumbled out, head leaning back into his pillow, eyes completely shut as he composed himself.

As he laid back, I lowered my face to place small kisses on his abs.

As I placed kisses on him, he started playing with my hair.

I looked up at him from his stomach and he gave me a little nod.

I sat back up and lifted myself up and quickly lowered myself down, our skin slapping against each other.

I could feel every single detail and texture of him inside of me. Each vein prominently intensifies the urge to break loose with him in me.

I lifted myself back up again and started quickening my pace.

Jamming him into me with each time I slapped my body down.

“Mhmm, fuck.” I whimpered out.

My ass hits against his thighs, creating slapping noises that echoed throughout the whole room.

Vinnie’s grunts and my whimpers that were growing louder by the second, it could fill the whole house.

From down below, Vinnie has a perfect view of my boobs swinging up and down my body. His hands gripping them.

I leaned towards him, giving my lower body a better angle to slam down into his dick.

“Yeah, fuck, like that.” Vinnie deeply expressed.

His hands now trailing down my back, meeting at my ass, gripping it. He motioned my thrusts into him and he bucked his hips up deeping his dick inside of me.

I moaned loudly as his dick hit my g-spot.

I looked up to meet Vinnie’s eyes and as our eyes met as he switched our positions.

I was now under him and he laid closely on top of me.

I could feel his breath on my face and our eyes were entranced to one another.

My heart fluttered from the sudden contact, I looked down at his lips and he suddenly bent down to kiss me.

I didn’t retract from the kiss. I did the total opposite. My soft lips rekindled with his. His plump lips meet my deep red swollen ones. .

We were deep into our kiss, when suddenly I felt him stroke fiercely into me and I let out a loud moan.

My lips still against him, as I yelled out.

My hands wrapped around his neck, as my breath got knocked out of my lungs.

I spread my legs open to allow him to thrust into me.

With my legs wide open for him, he commenced his deep hard-driven thrusts into me.

He slammed into me with no regard or remorse.

I looked up at him and he was deeply concentrated and focused on his fierce thrusts.

His dick was sliding in and out of me with so much force that I couldn’t handle it. But, it felt amazing. I wouldn’t dare stop him.

My moans were no longer whimpers, they were full of lengthy loud ones.

He kept on slamming into me. His full dick meeting my insides with each deep thrust.

“Oh fuck, Vinnie. Please don’t stop,” I moaned out. Praising him for making me feel whole again.

He was hitting my g-spot with each forceful thrust.

“”Who fucks you this good, huh?’ He asks, grunting.

“You, Vinnie. Only you,” I let out, my mind delirious.

I was panting for air, goosebumps filled my body.

I could feel my legs shaking as I gripped the sheets from beneath me.

“Yeah?” He asks with a lifted brow. “Not even Jacob?”

The name ‘Jacob’ really sparked something in him because his hand gripped against my thighs, spreading my legs even further.

I lifted my legs up in the air, Vinnie in between them.

Thrusting into me like it was going to be the last thing he did.

With each push into me, he let out a grunt.

Almost as if he was trying to prove a point or keep in the moans I knew he had in him.

“Fuck no. I’ve nev-” I was saying until Vinnie ferociously slammed into me, the words no longer being able to come out of my mouth.

He kept on going faster after I confessed that Jacob and I never had a sexual encounter and I swear I was going to cum.

“Ahhh!” I yelled out. “Fuck, I’m so close.” I breathed out.

“Please Vinnie, please!” I moaned out, begging him to make me cum.

“Hold on!” He challenged, his hands gripping on my breasts, putting his whole weight on them.

He pushed harder into me, my breasts would definitely be forming bruises in a couple hours, but it was no problem to me.

He rode out his high. I could feel him twitching inside of me. Insinuating he was close to coming undone.

“You’re mine, Y/N. No one else’s.” Vinnie possessively says.

I nodded as I was close to my high, as well.

My legs were insanely shaking and I tightened myself, gripping Vinnie’s dick. Causing him to finally let out an exasperated moan.

I smirked and as Vinnie was on his last strokes, I quickly slid my fingers onto my clit and came undone with Vinnie.

He fell on top of me, laying on me. His dick still inside of me.

I look beside me to find Vinnie’s face laid on the crook of my neck. He was breathing heavily against my skin, causing me to giggle.

“You’re tickling me Vin,” I say in between giggles, with a huge smile on my face.

He turns his face, his eyes meeting mine and no longer deep into my neck. He sees me smiling and a wide grin appears on his face.

He then turns back and quickly kisses me all over my neck, causing me to laugh out loud.

“Vinnie, stop!” I say slightly, shoving his face away from my neck.

He lets out a cute laugh and lays back down, his face on my chest.

My hand tangles into his soft sweaty hair.

I press my lips against his face.

Vinnie closed his eyes due to my kiss. I swooned at the sight of his eyelashes.

He let out a sigh. “I never want this to end,”

“I don’t want it to either.” I softly say.

I gently grabbed Vinnie’s face and pressed my lips against his.

I could tell he was a bit surprised to my sudden affection but fuck it. I know Vinnie is the love of my life.

I pulled away from his heartwarming lips.

“Never hurt me again Vinnie,” I say seriously, looking into his eyes.

He looked like a kid on Christmas morning. He lifted himself up, leveling his face to mine.

“Never ever again! I promise you that. I’ll never make that foolish mistake ever again!” He exclaimed happily.

“Good! Now fucking kiss me again,” I say letting out a huge smile.

He lowered himself down to my lips mumbling. “Gladly!”

I wrapped my arms around his neck. Our chests were pressed to one another.

“I’ll never leave you again, baby.” He whispered, looking deep into my eyes.

I nodded.

His sweet lips met mine and I fluttered my eyes closed taking in the moment.

Vinnie pulled away from our kiss.

“Stay the night with me. Tomorrow you can go and tell everyone you’re mine again. Especially Jacob!” He proposed.

“You’re so annoying, you know that?” I smile, a blush forming on my cheeks. I knew he was jealous but my heart belonged to him.

“A tad bit.” He shrugged jokingly with a grin.

“I’m all yours and you’re all mine.” I say pulling his face back into mine.

Our lips smash into each other, sweetly.

“I'll toast to that!” He mumbles.

We continued conversing sweet nothings.

“I may or may not have broken down to my mom on facetime,” Vinnie confessed.

“Well I’m glad you did. I hope Maria kicked your ass!” I exclaimed.

He chuckled.

“Yeah, she did.” He paused. “So did my dad and Reggie,” He continued, causing me to giggle. He joined in my laughter.

“I love you,” I profess quietly, only for us to hear.

He sighed.

“Yeah, me too.” He smiled sweetly.

“I’m really sorry Y/N. I know I already half assed an apology but let me explain my awful train of thought. I thought that by ending things, you won't have to hurt and be in pain while I was gone. I knew you were always sad when we couldn’t be together because of work. I would see the light leave your eyes, I would see your red puffy eyes, knowing that that pain was because of me. We had already suffered enough before I broke things off. I thought that maybe if we broke up and I wasn’t in the picture anymore you wouldn't have to be so sad all the time. I thought that if we were apart, you’d be able to be happy without the thought of me in a whole ass other country. I’m so sorry. I just made everything worse. I was so fucking wrong.” He expressed.

I could see the tears brimming in his eyes.

“It’s okay baby. Don’t cry,” I spoke quietly. I swiped the tears in his eyes before they rolled down his cheeks.

He laid his face down into my chest.

“And the way I left you crying the night before I left for Paris. I was such a dick. But I thought I was doing the right thing by leaving. If I just looked into your teary eyes or heard you cry for another second that night I would’ve stayed. But I used my power and dignity to leave, thinking I was going to help you.” He confessed.

It was eye opening hearing his side of things.

“I wish you could’ve just talked to me, Vin. We could’ve settled on a plan. I could’ve visited you in Paris for a couple weeks and we could’ve met up in Seoul,” I sighed sadly. “We could’ve prevented all of this emotional damage.”

“I know. I was such a fucking idiot.” He said looking back up to me, while I played with his hair.

“Promise you won’t do anything like that again! If you’re feeling anxious or upset we can talk. We can always talk, love,” I reassured.

“I promise.” He nodded.

“Okay good. I trust you.”

“I’ll never do anything to make you doubt me again.” He reassured, pressing kisses on my chest. “A positive thing that came out of this is that I know what life is like without you-”

“How the hell is that a positive thing Vincent Cole Hacker?!” I exclaim, interrupting what he was saying.

He let out a laugh.

“Let me finish, woman!”

“Is it those Paris girl you fucked?!” I say, raising my eyebrows. Not letting him continue.

“Oh god, no!” He said in disgust. “Don’t even remind me. I thought getting with them would help me get you out of my head. But when they would leave I would feel sick to my stomach. None of them were you, baby!” He explained.

I just gave him a petty look as I crossed my arms.

“No, don’t cross your arms, now I can’t see your precious boobs,” He pouts, trying to pull my arms apart.

“No. I don’t think you deserve to see them right now!” I sassily say.

He gave me a grimace look.

“What I was trying to say before you interrupted me is that I will never leave you again. Life is pointless without you. I know how dark and gray life is without you. My heart was failing and aching without you. I had no purpose. But now that I have the chance to be with you again. I won’t fuck up this time. I’ll take that chance in a heartbeat and I won’t ever let you go again. I promise you that,” He softly ends.

I could feel the warmness on my cheeks and the butterflies in my stomach erupting.

“Okay fine, maybe you deserve to see them now.” I say, uncrossing my arms, an uncontrollable smile appearing in my face.

“Good because I missed them! And I already know what you’re gonna say: ‘you just saw them’. But baby I haven’t seen or felt them for a month. I have a lot of catching up to do!” He proclaimed.

“I like the sound of that!” I say giggling as he cups my breasts.

My hands traced his Greek god facial features, letting them roam down his arms and chest.

As he peppered kisses all over my skin he spoke up again.

“You know I think fate brought us back together.” Vinnie hummed, looking up at me.

I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Really? Why do you think that?” I curiously ask looking down at him.

“So, I drafted those messages you got earlier. I didn’t send them because I was too much of a coward but somehow they got sent. I must’ve sent it without realizing. But God I’m glad they sent,” He professed.

“Well then we’re meant to be.” I smiled.

“Yes, we are!” He mumbled against my skin.

“We should get cleaned up.” He charmingly says as he kisses my chest, swiftly picking me up from the bed.

❁

Ahh! I hope you all enjoyed! This is my first ever writing smut for Tumblr, let me know how I did haha!

Go ahead and request if you want me to write anything for you!

Check out my masterlist & who I write for!

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livelaughloveluffy · 3 months ago

Note

The straw hat crew with reader who likes to give them compliments, but hates it when the crew gives reader compliments?

compliments - with the straw hat crew

a/n: ahhh thank you for the request!! it's been a long time since i've written a fic like this, so hopefully i can do it some justice!! 💗 (i like skimmed proof-read this so forgive me if there is some grammatical and spelling errors 😭😭)

a/n: (also sorry, the sanji girlie in me is always going to bring it back to sanji, so yeah... there's some sanji x reader in here too 😭😭😭)

a/n: ((sorry idk how to tag this guys 😭😭😭😭😭😭))

word count: fuck idk man, its kinda long though (hehehe that's what she said)

nothing but fluff here💗

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it has only been two weeks since you first joined the straw hat pirates, and it was definitely a huge change of pace from your life before them. the crew, as eccentric, spontaneous, and bold, as they are were also some of the kindest people you had ever met. you couldn't help but be in total awe of them. i mean- how could you not? the amount of countries they've helped, people freed from oppression, friends they have defended and supported even when the whole world was against them...

it was hard not to feel insignificant, through no fault of theirs, it was just a lot to live up to.... and it was hard to feel enough at times.

• ♡ •

while your time being apart of the crew is nothing to write home about, hardly even considering yourself a true member yet, you still couldn't help but be utterly amazed with the people around you, and you just couldn't help yourself but to let them know.

mornings on the sunny were truly a special time. the mouth watering smells leaking out from under the kitchen door, as well as the sounds of a soft melody from brooke's violin fill the ship.

"good morning brooke! what song are you playing? it sounds wonderful!" you ask as you made you way to the kitchen, too eager to see what wonders awaited for breakfast

"yohoho!! just a ballad i've been composing!" he replied, sharing a smile with you before you turn and open the kitchen door.

"it smells delicious sanji!! seriously, im salivating out there! when's breakfast going to be ready?"

a faint blush appeared on his cheeks, but after a quick drag from his cigarette he quickly regains his composure "you're actually right on time! i just finished up!!"

• ♡ •

after breakfast, you weren't surprised to find zoro working out, as he had told you "any second not training, drinking, or sleeping, is a waste" one of your first nights on the ship. you watched in awe as he carried an inhuman amount of weight with ease, not even breaking a sweat.

feeling your stare, his eyes wander to meet yours, "need something?"

"oh! um.. no sorry!! i just can't believe you can lift that so easily!! you're not even sweating!"

"well yeah, this is just my warm up" he replied, a small smirk appearing from the corner of his lips as you wandered away

• ♡ •

in the girl's shared bedroom, you found nami hunched over her desk, carefully and slowly drawings lines for yet another one of her maps. it had been a few days since you had seen this particular map, so you quietly peered over her shoulder to see her progress

"nami, this is incredible!! i could've sworn two days ago there was only a vague outline on this page!! look at that detail!!"

she turned around, beaming at you "thanks!! after years of practice i could draw a map this simple with my eyes closed!"

• ♡ •

the sounds of sawing and nails being pounded into wood grew too loud for you to ignore, so you finally decided to leave the girls room to see what the commotion was all about.

in the three seconds it took you to get to the door, the sounds had ceased. curiosity overtaking you, you couldn't help but step out and see what had caused it all.

the first think that caught your eye was a small greenhouse the seemingly appeared out of thin air, since it definitely wasn't here earlier, and usopp and franky opening up some colas nearby

chopper ran up to you, giddy with excitement "do you want to see the new greenhouse usopp and franky made? its perfect for all my medicinal herbs! now i can grow them here on the sunny!!"

taking the small deers hoof into your hand, you followed him down the stairs to the greenhouse. "wow!!! you guys just built this?"

"franky drew up the plans after breakfast and did the labor, and i added a special watering system!" usopp chimes in, ready to boast about their design, and for good reason

"consider me impressed!!! i may even dare to say that it's SUPER!" you proclaim, earning giggles from all three of the boys

• ♡ •

the following morning you woke up with a purpose. stars still in the sky from how early it was, you tiptoed out of the shared bedroom and to the kitchen. trying to be as quiet as possible, not wanting anyone to hear you, you turned on the lights and gathered the ingredients to make some lemon bars, as a thank you for the crew, they did save your life after all.

as you baked, occasionally glancing out the kitchen window every once in a while you slowly saw the stars leave the sky, the moon disappear, and the sun slowly beginning to rise. its just about dawn now and your lemon bars had finally finished chilling, ready to be cut and served.

sanji, a typical early riser since he has to prep and cook breakfast, opened the kitchen door shocked to see the lights already on and you inside. "oh! mellorine!! i didn't expect to see your beautiful face this early! to what do i owe this pleasure?" he asks.

"sanji.. i'm not- um.... i just made some lemon bars... as a thank you for the crew.. maybe we could eat them with breakfast if thats okay..."

"of course we can!!! im sure i can whip up some stuff that would compliment them perfectly! get some rest! it's still super early, i'll call when breakfast is ready!"

• ♡ •

"breakfast!!!" sanji's voice rings throughout the sunny, and slowly but surely everyone made their way to the kitchen, you being the last to arrive. once you had been seated, you noticed sanji walking his way over to the table, with your tray of lemon bars in hand as he announces "this morning we also have a very special dish prepared by our newest member!"

luffy's eyes widen as he looks over at you and practically shouts in excitement "wow!! i didn't know you could cook! what did you make? im sure its amazing!!! i want some!!"

with all eyes on you, you couldn't help but feel a bit shy, the confidence and determination you had this morning suddenly dissipated "just some lemon bars... its really nothing special... i just wanted to thank you guys.. for everything.. it's just you're all so amazing, you guys are crazy talented and strong and so kind and thoughtful... its really nothing special... i'm sure they don't even hold a candle to the elaborate desserts sanji makes every night..." you mumble, cheeks burning red with embarrassment.

"i'm sure they're delicious! definitely better than anything our captain could ever make" nami says with a sly smile. "all this talk about food is making me even more hungry!! let's finally eat guys!" luffy shouts, grabbing for the closest plate of food to him, too impatient to wait any longer.

• ♡ •

one chaotic, fast and messy breakfast later, and all the plates on the table were practically licked clean.

"thank you for breakfast sanji, you outdid yourself as always! those omelets and the potatoes, freshly squeezed orange juice, delicious as always!" you said absolutely glowing, sanji's breakfasts truly were the best, you wonder how you ever lived a life without them before.

"thank you mellorine!! but those lemon bars! they were divine!! who taught you how to bake?" he asks.

before you can get a reply in, the entire crew bursts into an uproar of compliments.

"yeah!!! i never knew you could make stuff like that!! i might have you replace sanji!!!" luffy exclaims

"i totally would've thought sanji made them if you hadn't said anything!" nami says, usopp nodding along and adding "yeah!! i was totally worried they would be bad at first because you seemed so nervous, but i can't believe sanji didn't make them!"

a soft spoken "absolutely delicious" coming from robin

zoro, lifting his head up and meeting you eyes, decided to chime in on the topic "i guess they were good." but after an intense glare from sanji then mumbles "...really good" his cheeks flushing ever so slightly.

"they were SUPER!!!!" franky shouts, causing luffy, chopper, and usopp to giggle.

and by this point, the compliments became a bit overwhelming. you didn't feel confident enough to accept them, but didn't want to be rude and ignore them either. your silence was definitely noticed by the crew who began to quiet down a bit as your face grew hotter and hotter, blush way too visible to hide behind your hair, you looked down and muttered as quietly as possible "they're really nothing special... im glad you guys liked them though..." and rushed out of the kitchen as fast as you possibly could.

• ♡ •

you retreated to the crow's nest to collect yourself. it was truly the perfect spot on the sunny to get some alone time. out of sight from everyone, but still in a spot where you can enjoy the warm sun, the ocean breeze, and the sound of the waves crashing as you sail the sea.

thankfully, you managed to leave a book up here the previous day, so once you caught your breath and the blush cleared from your face, you read. just to take your mind off of the interaction with the crew.

• ♡ •

you weren't sure how much time had passed, as you had gotten unexpectedly absorbed in the story of your book, but it wasn't until you heard the sound of a lighter.

you look up to meet the sky-blue eyes of sanji, he takes a drag of his cigarette before taking a seat on the floor next to you. the two of you sat together for moment of silence, minus the sound of the waves beneath you both. a quiet sigh leaves his mouth, before he breaks the silence "i just wanted to apologize. i didn't mean to put you on the spot in there. we didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"no you don't owe me an apology! really! it's fine!! i know you guys were just trying to be nice and compliment me but.... i don't know... " you paused to collect your thoughts for a second. trying to word how you felt. sanji waiting patiently, taking a couple drags before you finally found the words to continue talking.

"it's just hard sometimes.. to feel like i'm good enough... especially around you guys, i mean the countless people and countries you guys have saved, your strength, your kindness... sometimes, i guess i just feel like a fraud being in the same crew..."

sanji took a moment to consider your words and feelings, and with a quiet sigh said "yeah.. i get it. it's funny because i actually feel the same way sometimes... but you know, luffy chose you to be here for a reason, and even if you don't see that, he does. we all do. we all serve a purpose on the crew, one thats invaluable to our captain, and he has no doubts about what that is."

finally turning to meet those sky-blue eyes, you looked at sanji with a small smile. "thanks, that really means a lot.."

he returned your smile with a bigger one and replied "of course!! i mean.... come on, those were some damn good lemon bars and i think luffy would kill me if you never made them again."

you shoved his shoulder, and in between laughs, you look over and sanji and reply "whatever!!"

and it was at this moment, for the very first time under the warm summer sun and ocean breeze blowing through your hair and the faint smell of sanji's cigarette smoke, that you began to felt a little more sure of your place in the straw hat pirates...

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a/n: i totally didn't expect to make this as long as i did so thanks for sticking around if you made it this far!!! i love and appreciate you!! have a great day/afternoon/evening/night!!! 😭😭😭

a/n: enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!

#one piece #one piece fic #one piece x reader #black leg sanji x reader #vinsmoke sanji x reader #sanji x reader #one piece sanji #black leg sanji #one piece fluff #sanji fluff #op fluff #fluff fic #via's fics #one piece fanfic #op fanfic

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kkami-writes · 9 months ago

Text

waiting for us — chapter fifty one. the wedding cw. smut!, semi-public sex (bathroom), piv, protected sex (shout out to condoms) wc. 1,965 + 4 ss a/n: THIS IS UNEDITED. I FINALLY FUCKING FINISHED THIS MY GOD. I'm so sorry this took forever...that's my bad <3 hopefully the motivation keeps rolling and i'll finally finish this fic.

The ceremony had been perfect, something right out of the pages of a fairy tale. The venue had been small since they had kept it to close family and friends but it still had been breathtaking. Minghao had made you his best “man” and there was no place you’d rather be than next to your best friend on the most important day of his life. (and if you cried while they were reciting their vows, you’d never tell. Though Minghao had taken plenty of pictures of you ugly crying to store in his blackmail folder.)

It was probably inappropriate to daydream during a wedding, but Jeongin couldn’t help himself. You were standing up there, looking absolutely breathtaking, it was hardly his fault that his mind had wondered what you would look like, dressed in all white at their own wedding.

If he was honest, he never expected to get married. Well, he supposed that’s wrong. While he does in fact plan on getting married eventually to all his soulmates, before you had come into the picture that had agreed that a ceremony between eight people would be a little hectic. He didn’t need some grand ceremony to show his love but for now, he could dream of seeing you in a wedding dress for now.

The reception is just as gorgeous as the actual wedding, with lavish decorations and a crystal chandelier.

Currently you were being dragged from table to table, both Minghao and Jun introducing you to people like you were their child. (though Minghao would argue that him and Jun were indeed your dads).

From across the room you can feel a pair of eyes on you, practically burning a hole into your flesh from his heated gaze. Jeongin was sat at your assigned table, a drink forgotten in front of him while he stared you down. His gaze is enough to set you aflame, cheeks reddened from how intense his eyes felt against you, not so subtly running along your body. The boy was practically eye fucking you from across the room, not a shameful bone in his body. It was quite distracting as you tried to introduce yourself to Jun’s grandmother.

The two of you make eye contact and it’s impossible to look away, his deep chocolate eyes captivating you. Jeongin’s tongue darts out to wet his bottom lip, your eyes following the movement and the cheeky fucker smirks, knowing he’s caught you in his web. With a subtle nod towards the bathrooms, he gets up, suddenly paying you no mind before striding in the direction he directed you to. It leaves you a little mystified, blinking and frozen in place. You clear your throat, turning to Jun with a small smile.

“Excuse me Junnie,” You mumble before escaping the male’s grasp, but he lets you go easily enough, too caught up in a different conversation.

As you make your way towards the bathrooms there’s a sense of heat that starts to fill your lower belly, a wave on anticipation for whatever Jeongin has up his sleeve. It fills you with excitement, hands practically shaking as you open the door.

The bathrooms are one of those fancy single ones, lights dim and fancy expensive soap. You don’t have time to admire the decore as Jeongin pins you back against the door, the tell tale click of the door being locked. He doesn’t hesitate to press his lips to yours, practically devouring you. It’s all teeth and tongue, groaning into your mouth desperately. The sound goes straight to your pussy.

Jeongin presses against you, already hard in his slacks, hips rutting up against you.

“Fuck. Do you even know how good you look?” His voice is raspy and deep, sounding already so gone. You can’t help but giggle, rather enjoying the effect you have on the boy.

“Mm, I have no idea,” You singsong. “Maybe you should tell me,” Your words illicit another groan from the boy before he’s picking you up and carrying you over to the counter and setting you down there. Perhaps the way he had lifted you up like it was nothing turned you on further, it would seem your baby bread has been accompaning his hyungs to the gym more often.

Jeongin runs his hands up until they’re splayed across your thighs, easy access thanks to the slit in your dress. His lips are on yours again, this time much softer, taking his time to savor your taste. Meanwhile his hands grope and squish at the soft flesh of your thighs, fingers running up until they hook under the waistband of your panties, pulling them down to your ankles.

You let out a gasp as his long fingers make contact with your wet core and Jeongin takes the opportunity to slide his tongue into your awaiting mouth. You’re completely at his mercy, deft fingers circling your clit and his tongue stealing your breath away.

“So wet,” His voice is deep, slightly gruff as he nips at your now swollen tiers. “Eager are we?” The cocky tone makes you want to roll your eyes at him, but they’re rolling to the back of your head anyway as he easily slides a digit into your core, a whine falling from your lips. “Look so good like this for me,”

You can vaguely hear the sound of the music that’s blasting in the venue, the walls of the bathroom muting it but even then, the sound of your slick echoes lewdly in your ear and it heats your body up.

Jeongin is so content like this, watching you fall apart on the counter, soft moans filtering from your lips as he’s lazily thrusts his fingers into you. As much as he would love to take his time with you, his cock is starting to ache, still trapped in the confines of his slacks.

“Can I fuck you baby?” He asks against your ear, pressing soft kisses to your earlobe and trailing them down your neck. You nod your head, probably a little too eagerly but there’s pretty much nothing on your mind besides Jeongin’s cock splitting you in half. But then you remember something important and it makes you whine.

“Innie…you don’t have a condom do you?”

The question makes him freeze and if he wasn’t literally two fingers deep in your cunt you would have laughed at his bewildered facial expression. But then suddenly he’s pulling out of you, a whimper leaving your lips at the loss of his fingers filling you up. Jeongin is frantically patting at his slacks, as if searching for something, leaving you slightly baffled at the sight. Finally he pulls his wallet out and from it, produces a singular condom.

“Seungminnie hyung said I should keep one in my wallet just in case…never really thought anything about it. I’m gonna kiss that man later,” His words make you snort, shaking your head at how silly he is. But if you were honest, you’d probably kiss Seungmin later for the same reason.

The two of you don’t waste anymore time, remembering you are in a public space, at your best friends wedding for goodness sake. In your defense, your brain is no longer working, especially when Jeongin is bending you over the (very nice) counter, moving the skirt of your dress aside and slipping your panties down your legs.

You arch your back just slightly, legs spreading to give the boy a peak at your glistening folds and Jeongin swears he could probably cum in his pants. He’s quick to slide the condom over his almost painful erection, coming close to press his chest to your back, trailing kisses along your shoulder. He ruts his cock against your soaked core before positioning in front of your entrance. With how aroused you are, it’s an easily glide in, just a slight stretch that feels all too good.

Jeongin lets out a borderline pornographic moan when he bottoms out, your wet warm heat squeezing his cock feels heavenly and he already knows he’s not gonna last very long. He shudders against your body as he holds you tightly, large hands splayed across your torso.

“Fuck- You feel so fucking good,” He groans, needing just a second to calm himself down before he blows his load already. You can barely register his words, not faring any better. The sensation of being so full, of having your soulmates cock buried inside your heat is a feeling you don’t think you’ll ever get used to.

The two of you simply relish in the moment for a second and while maybe Jeongin might have jumped the gun on your first time together, he promises that the next time he’ll take his time to savor you. For now he just wants to feel you coming apart on his cock.

He moves his hips rather expertly, rocking into you with strong thrusts and you feel yourself further melting into the cool counter, the drag of Jeongin’s cock against your gummy walls feels too fucking good. Any and all thoughts are leaving your head, the only thing you care about is the heady pleasure that builds steadily in the pit of your stomach.

Jeongin is pressed flush against your back, sucking marks into your skin and whispering sweet dirty words into your ear and you feel yourself getting closer and closer to your peak.

“Such a good girl, hm? Taking my cock so well. You feel so good baby…I’m not gonna last long,” He nips at the back of your ear and you nod your head in agreement.

“Innie! I-Innie…” You’re mumbling his name over and over like a chant, your walls clenching around his length sporatically. “I’m so close…gonna, gonna cum,” You gasp out, the rubber band threatening to snap each time the tip of his cock hits that spot deep inside of you. He brings a finger to your clit, rubbing the swollen button in circles.

“Go ahead baby, cum all over my cock,” He says with a grunt, thrusts somehow getting even harsher and the sound of skin slapping reverberates against the walls.

It doesn’t take much longer before you’re gushing around his cock, coming with a whimper. Jeongin does his best to fuck you through your orgasm but with the way your walls clench around him has him spilling into the condom not too far after you. Both of you need a moment to catch your breath, slowly coming down from the euphoria of such an act. Jeongin seems to collect himself before you, not even noticing him pulling out. You only finally come out of your haze when you feel something damp against your skin.

Jeongin is cleaning you up, even if he didn’t cum inside, you can still feel your own release against your thighs. Slowly, he also helps you pull your panties back up before picking you up to settle you on the counter. He fusses over you, smoothing your hair down and fixing your dress and your heart flutters in your chest at how attentive the younger boy is after having just dicked you down. You giggle before wrapping your arms around him, pulling him into a sweet kiss, one that he happily melts into.

When you two pull away, he’s giving you that bright fox-like smile, dimples practically blinding you as he helps you off the counter.

“C’mon baby. Let’s go dance and hope that your friends didn’t notice your disappearance,” You snort.

“Even if they didn’t, I think the hickies speak for themselves,” Jeongin has the gall to blush, his tongue running along his teeth.

“Sorry, not sorry,”

“You are such a brat,”

“Guilty!”

You roll your eyes, spanking him before moving towards the door.

“Let’s go dance baby bread,”

previous | masterlist | next

waiting for us taglist (50/50) @abbiestearsricochet @boo-ven9eance @adorawritesalot @inlovewithallmusic @alnex05

@borahae-reads @zonked-times @loverlixie @katsukis1wife @0325tiny

@adestayskz @minhwa @littleaprilcherryblossom @soobery @lillithathecat

@everglowdaisies @boi-bi-ahaha @popcatx0 @stayinhellevator @jaiuneamesolitaiire

@enchantedgrunge @corrodedthorn @143lix @ashitshowforalot @lynlyndoll

@txtandroll @kawennote09 @liknws @ritzy-dream-boy @vampcharxter

@puppy-minnie @freckleboilix @turtledove824 @fylithia @jutdwaekkigym

@hyunestrella @blackrowses @chlodavids @reallysparklychaos @sunnibearr

@chili-crab0811 @stickycrusadecollective @lucidliving1205 @princelingperfect @leemidnightmoon

@shakalakaboomboo @nykto-philia @mixtape-racha @lovestayforev @the-simpy-simp

#stray kids #stray kids smau #skz smau #stray kids social media au #stray kids imagines #stray kids fluff #stray kids reactions #stray kids imagine #stray kids scenarios #skz texts #skz fake texts #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #stray kids fanfic #skz social media au #skz smut #stray kids smut

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tsuutarr · 5 months ago

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A were-wolf hottie and no pic, give me the fluffy hooligan please 😫

Extra points if it's enemies to lovers trope, except no vampire verses wolf, more like were cat or coyote vs wolf?. Scooby-Doo zombie mayhem got me

(So I ended up doing a bit of a rivals to lovers kind of thing rather than enemies! I didn't have too much info to go off of, so if this fic isn't to your liking, feel free to send me another ask with more details!)

Pairing: Vilkas Lunewood (werewolf OC) x werecat! reader

Contents: one-sided rivalry (somewhat one-sided romantic pining) where Vilkas thinks of you as his greatest rival to beat on exams.

Word count: 1180

Even though Vilkas would rather read his favorite book in a cozy nook, he’s known as a brute – someone who can weaponize his fists to subdue all that cross him. His sharp eyes and broad figure do little to deter his reputation as a brutish hooligan. However, despite his reputation, Vilkas has never started any fights – it’s just that he’s always finished them, being the last one standing.

It’s hardly his fault that he’s so strong, though, especially since strength is the least of his concerns. No, his much bigger concern is defeating you, his stupidly pretty werecat rival, academically.

“Hm… I could’ve done that a bit better…” you murmur from beside him. You’re both staring at the recent exam scores posted on the bulletin board.

He smells you before he hears you. Vilkas has always noticed your scent, something warm and soft – something he associates with afternoon naps basking in the gentle rays of the sun. Not that it matters, really, not when you’re constantly kicking him to the curb in terms of your grades. He’s been number one for as long as he can remember, but then you come along and place him in the number two spot consecutively. And you look cute while you do it. Frustrating!

“Ah, Lunewood, your score’s gone up, hm? That’s good to see.”

Vilkas scowls at how easily you address him, gloating about your victory. You’ve never been scared of him, always talking to him whenever you can. It’s stupid. You’re stupid. You and your stupidly lovely ears and stupidly adorable tail and that sweet voice and–

“Lunewood?”

“What?” he growls, his eyebrows furrowed at the center.

“Ah, you look rather upset, is all.”

“I am not.” Of course Vilkas isn’t upset – he’s good at taking a loss! And even if he is upset (which he isn’t), it’s not like he’s bothering anyone! The clear distance most people are keeping from him is definitely, definitely not because they think he’s scary for scowling – that’d be ridiculous!

“If you say so.”

Vilkas’ scowl deepens.

“Ah. It was quite nice chatting with you. I’ve got to head off now.”

Vilkas’ nose scrunches. You’re probably gonna stick your nose into a stupid little book (something he’d do too). You’re gonna brew yourself your favorite beverage as you curl up to read something you like and you’re gonna look so cute doing it and it’s so annoying to Vilkas to think about.

Stupid, stupid werecat.

The next time Vilkas encounters you, it’s because he smells your warm scent mingled with a scent he’d only describe as sour. His frown deepens as he follows the smell, before coming across you getting harassed by some no-good werewolf.

Ugh. Seriously. Like yeah, you’re cute and charming and whatever, but couldn’t that stupid werewolf pick another cat to pick on? Like why’s that dumb werewolf wasting time flirting with you? And why haven’t you just beat that stupid, no-good werewolf off with a stick? You’ve got the claws to scratch him up. Ugh. Whatever. It’s not his business–

“Leave the cat alone,” he spits, despite his inner monologue. He’s not helping you because he thinks you need his help or because he’s worried or whatever. He just doesn’t have anything better to do. That’s what he tells himself as he sizes up the werewolf that’s been hitting on you.

“Yeah? What’re ya gonna do about it if I don’t?” the no-good werewolf hisses, standing taller to appear bigger. The no-good werewolf is bigger than you, a werecat, but can’t compare to the sheer muscle mass Vilkas boasts.

“I’m not gonna do anythin’ about it,” Vilkas growls. “‘Cause you’re not gonna give me a reason to do anythin’ about it.”

The no-good werewolf falters briefly at the deadly gleam in Vilkas’s eyes, but decides to stupidly stand his ground. “You want me to give you a reason to scram?”

“You think you got what it takes?” Vilkas shoots back, his teeth bared. His tail bristles, ears flattened against his head.

“Lunewood,” your voice calls, which irritatingly makes Vilkas feel calmer. “Let’s just go.”

Vilkas isn’t sure what to do – he’s not really one to back down from a fight, but your voice and smell just make Vilkas feel… softer, like he’s wrapped in a you-shaped blanket.

“Wait–” the no-good werewolf’s face pales. “Lunewood? Vilkas Lunewood?”

Vilkas stands taller. “What about it?”

“No–nothing!” a squeak leaves the werewolf’s mouth as his tail tucks between his legs, before he runs away.

“...I should’ve punched him once,” Vilkas grumbles, crossing his arms.

“Hm, maybe you should’ve,” you agree lightly. “The more I think about it, the more I dislike him.” You spin on your heel, turning to Vilkas with a smile. “Thanks, by the way. I appreciate it.”

Hmph, a good ploy on your part – trying to make him lower his guard by thanking him? If you think that your thanks makes Vilkas’ tail wag, you’re so very correct – Vilkas tries his best to temper his tail’s excitement, but he just gives up because he can’t. “It’s nothing. I didn’t do it for you.”

Your cute little cat ears and tail twitch. “Oh.”

Vilkas immediately feels bad.

“I guess it was one of those territory things, then? Did you want to mark your territory?”

Vilkas huffs out something akin to a laugh. The only thing here that he’d want to mark is you – wait, scratch that.

“Well, anyway. Can I take you to a café or something to thank you?”

What? Why would you want to feed him? It’s not like he did anything great. Is this a trick? Are you trying to poison him?!

“Or do you not like sweets?” you look contemplative. “Maybe barbeque…? But my campus job doesn’t pay that much…”

“A café is fine,” he grunts, tail swishing behind him. “You can buy me a barbecue when I beat you on our next exams.”

You tilt your head to the side, confused. “But you’ve never been able to beat me before?”

Vilkas’ eyes narrow as you hum in thought.

“Oh! Is this like a bet?” your eyes glint mischievously, a cheeky smile curling on your lips. Cute. “How about it, Lunewood? If you beat me in the next exam, I’ll treat you to a barbeque. If I win… Well, I’ll keep that a secret for now.”

“What?” Vilkas asks, frown set deep in his mouth.

“Hm? Are you scared?” you tease, your voice taking on a lilt that makes Vilkas want to chase you down and mark you.

“Don’t bet on it, kitty-cat,” he responds. “I ain’t scared of anything.”

“Then is the bet on?”

Vilkas doesn’t hesitate when he answers with, “You bet.”

(You two do head to the café, much to Vilkas’ pleasure [since he wants a sweet treat, that’s it. It’s not because he’s hanging out with you or anything]. You’re surprisingly interesting to talk to, which he should’ve maybe expected since you’re his rival. You’ve got pretty good tastes when it comes to books and a good eye for cute cafés too.)

#werewolf x you #werewolf x reader #werewolf oc #monster boyfriend #monster oc #werewolf oc x reader #tsuuper ocs #Vilkas Lunewood Tsuu OC #monster lover #monster romance #monster boy oc #monster boy

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itsbeeble · 1 year ago

Note

I saw your post about having Bang Chan brain rot and honestly, same. He has filled every waking thought I've had for the last year and I'm big mad over it.

So my fic rec is a little angsty/suggestive with him being as obsessed with y/n as we all are with him. Like, he's angry that he can't focus on work because he's too busy thinking about them but can't have them for whatever reason. All the features he possesses that we love that he can't see in himself are exactly what draws him to y/n. (I feel like crushing on Chan is an exercise in learning to love yourself, and that's a lesson he needs to learn as well).

WHY WOULD YOU SAY THIS TO ME I LITERALLY FELL TO THE FLOOR WHEN I FIRST SAW IT (that first statement is so real actually)

OBSESSIVE

Summary: Chan has always been obsessed with you, but he's been too afraid to act on it until now.

Genre: Angst, fluff

Pairing: bestfriend!Bang Chan x (implied)fem!reader

Warnings: a little angsty but mostly fluff, hurt/comfort, suggestive, some uhhh sexual themes but there's no actual smut or anything, small make out scene teehee, swearing, insecurities briefly mentioned, I think that's it

WC: 2462

18+ MDNI, AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED

A/N: guys look it didn't take me 10 years to post! Also i'm gonna add to my masterlist a "Brainrot" section bc i'm not officially gonna write for certain groups but fuck do i get brainrot

Chan is restless in his studio, staring at the walls in front of him unable to focus. He can’t get his brain to work, to think, to do something.

It’s your fault. He knows it’s your fault, but he can’t figure out why. Had you said something to him? Had you done something?

No. The answer is no, you hadn’t done anything to him. At least not technically.

In fact, it’s more him that's the problem.

It’s almost unhealthy the way he’s obsessed with you. Unhealthy and almost annoying considering that you hardly ever give him the light of day.

Chan adores you. Adores the way you don’t care about what anyone else thinks of you, the way you laugh too loudly, the way your nose crinkles when you smile, and the way you can hold conversations so easily. He adores the way you never seem to care about looking put together, dressing in whatever you find comfortable that day, and somehow still looking beautiful.

He doesn’t think he’s ever felt this way about anyone before. He hates the swirling in his stomach, the way his heart beats faster, and the way he can always tell when you’re close to him whether you want him to know or not. Chan can always tell from the smell of your perfume, that sweet, subtle scent you’ve worn since the day you met him in your days as trainees.

These emotions…he shouldn’t be feeling them. Not about you, his best friend. His confidant. The one person he can trust to always be there for him, for everything. He’s tried so hard to will these emotions away, to force himself to like other people. He’s tried hookups, blind dates, dating apps. He’s tried imagining it was his grandmother instead of you whenever his thoughts dive into dangerous territory.

And no, the grandmother thoughts didn’t work. His thoughts kept returning to you, how you would look under him. How you would look with your hair splayed out, your hand cupping his cheeks, and your lips sending him the sweet smile that you seem to reserve for him.

Fuck, he’s doing it again.

Chan takes a deep breath, sipping at the day-old water and grimacing at the stale taste in his mouth. His computer screen is still blank, the screen off from the time he’s spent staring into space and thinking of you.

A knock on the door and then you’re slipping in quietly with a plastic go-cup filled with iced coffee.

“Hey.”

Your greeting is simple, but you flash that smile and Chan’s heart starts doing flips. He hates it. He hates that you make him feel this way, hates that he gets nervous whenever you’re around.

He feels you at his side, your arm on the back of his chair, fingertips brushing against his shoulder and sending jolts of electricity down his spine. He turns his head, angling his neck to look up at you.

You with your calm eyes, with your gentle brushes against his skin, and the way you somehow soothe the storm that you caused inside of him.

The cup in your hand is angled toward him, and he shakes his head.

“You shouldn’t be drinking that, you know,” it’s almost instinctive how he scolds you, a frown on his face when you just roll your eyes and pull the cup away from him. “Especially right now. You should be asleep, Y/N.”

“So should you,” you hum, rolling your shoulders back and wincing when something cracks.

“I’m working.” He nods his head at the computer, and you raise an eyebrow at the black screen.

“I can see that. Working very hard, just like you always are.”

Your hand raises to his head, ruffling the soft strands of hair. Chan clicks his tongue and pulls away from you. Your hand drops down to your side, and your small drops slightly. Barely noticeable, but enough for Chan to feel a pang in his chest. He rolls his chair back slightly, spinning it to face you. You pull a chair up, sitting directly across from him, and delicately place your coffee in an empty space on his crowded desk.

Chan feels your knees brush against his, and heat scorches his body again. Why do you do this to him? Is it on purpose? Do you know he loves you more than a best friend should?

“Are you okay, Channie?” You lean toward him, the open part of your button-down shirt dipping to expose more skin. You would think he’s never been around a woman before.

He clears his throat, tries to look at you, and then clears his throat again. You’re biting at your lip now your eyebrows furrowed together in thought.

He leans away from you when you lean toward him. Your knees are between his thighs now, unbeknownst to you but he is all too aware of it. You rise from your chair, coming closer to him and standing between his legs. One of his hands twitches, fighting to raise just a little bit to touch the side of your leg.

“You seem a little feverish,” your hand is cold against his skin, and he almost chokes on the air he’d been struggling to inhale without the sweet scent of you overpowering his lungs and making him do unthinkable things. Your lips are twisted into a pout, your hand moving to his forehead and then his cheek.

It takes Chan a moment to realize that he’s grabbed your wrist.

It takes another moment for him to realize that his lips are against the back of your hand.

Another moment and you haven’t pushed him away. Is it shock? Are you too disgusted to do anything? Fuck, why did he have to do that?

“Y/N—” he’s stumbling over his words, trying to grasp any thought that runs through his brain. An apology, hopefully. “I’m so— I didn’t mean—”

Your lips are on his before he can say another word. It was a quick, fleeting kiss. Heat of the moment, maybe.

You pull back, just far enough to look him in the eyes.

Chan opens his mouth, ready to speak again.

The door slams shut. The space you stood in is empty. Chan’s heart sinks to his stomach, his skin still warm where you touched him.

“Fuck”

It’s three days before Chan hears from or sees you. Three days of absolute radio silence. No one forcing him to stop working, to look away from the screen and lay on the couch for a while. No wild laughter, random coffee dates. Nothing, and he knows why.

He knows you’ve been avoiding him. It’s not that difficult to figure it out. Whatever happened that night…it scared both of you. What frustrates him isn’t the subtle rejection. No, he could never be mad at you for that. He loves you too much to be angry about that.

No, he’s mad about the fact that you’re running from this. You who regularly gets into heated arguments with the staff when they’re working him and the other members too hard. You who always accepts when you’re in the wrong, actively seeking a solution. You who has never had problems with communicating your emotions. He’s angry that the one time he needs you to communicate with him, you disappear. Now, after three days of you avoiding him, he isn’t quite sure he wants to see you anymore. He wouldn’t have minded if you told him you hated him for what happened.

Radio silence is…quite possibly the last thing he expected.

A knock on his door jolts him out of his thoughts. Three raps, then two, and the door opens. He knows it’s you by the shuffling of your feet against the ground and the sound of ice against plastic. You come to stand near him. Not next to him, no, it’s like you can sense the anger in him.

Or you can hear the angry typing.

“What are you working on?” Your voice is quiet, so quiet that he almost doesn’t catch it.

He doesn’t respond, at least not at first. The typing doesn’t slow, and he hears a small exhale from you.

“Chan?” Your hand comes to rest on his shoulder and the typing stops. You drop your hand to your side, biting your tongue and forcing the tears back. “Channie, can you please talk to me?” He turns to look at you, trying to hold back all of the emotions he’s been feeling these past three days.

“About what?” He plays dumb. Maybe if he acts like nothing happened, you’ll just drop it and you can start avoiding each other and he can move on from you.

“About…about what happened.” Your voice shakes, and he almost feels bad.

Scratch that, he does feel bad.

“I don’t think there’s much to talk about.” Chan dismisses, “You made it clear how you feel and that’s fine. We can forget about it.” He avoids your gaze now, but he hears a sniffle coming from you. Hears a sob that you made a poor attempt at concealing. He looks at you again, and your hand is over your mouth while you try to calm yourself. He bites the side of his tongue, closing his eyes and exhaling heavily.

“Come here,” he raises his hand and lazily beckons you over to him. You don’t move at first, still focused on calming yourself. “Y/N, come here.”

Your steps are slow, almost nervous about approaching him, and suddenly all the anger is washed away from Chan’s body. All he can think about is the fact that he’s made you cry, made you upset, and he wants to fix it.

“Why are you crying, pretty?” You’re standing in front of him, all too similarly to three days ago. Your cup has been placed to the side again, next to his keyboard, and your hands are in his.

“I feel like…” your voice is thick with emotion, tears rolling down your cheeks that Chan wants nothing more than to kiss away. “I feel like I messed everything up.”

“How could you possibly think that?” Your best friend frowns.

“I— I kissed you.” Your sentences are stuttered. “I fe—feel like I me—messed everyth—everything up. You— You’re my bes—best friend, Channie.”

“Look at me,” he holds his hand to your chin, tilting your head to look down at him. “You did nothing wrong. In case you forgot, I kissed you first.”

“But that was diffe—different!” You cry, yanking your hands out of his grip and turning your back on him. Chan rises from his chair, carefully watching your movements. “I kissed you!”

He’s curious now. “Do you think I hate you because of that?”

You turn around, and a gasp escapes you. He’s only a few inches from you, his breath kissing your cheeks. You can see a dark tinge on his tanned skin. Was he blushing? Was he mad?

“I— I mean—” Chan steps toward you again, practically backing you into the wall.

“Because you’d be wrong,” he continues. “In fact, it’s probably made me even worse.”

What? “Chan— what does that—”

“I’ve been obsessed with you from the day that I met you, Y/N.” Here goes nothing. Chan takes a deep breath before continuing. “Everything you do, everything you say. I’m addicted to you. You know, I couldn’t tell at first if I envied you. It was the way you carried yourself, the confidence you had in every little thing. The way you fought so hard for the things that you loved and the people you cared about. I thought I envied the way you could laugh as loud as you wanted without fearing what other people thought of you.”

You’re against the wall now, but he hasn’t caged you in. No, he leaves you room to escape should you so choose. Your tears have stopped and Chan reaches up to cup your cheeks, wiping away the streaks that were left.

“I was wrong.” His voice is so quiet, so much quieter than he probably intended it to be, but it has a zoo erupting in your stomach. “It wasn’t envy.”

“Then what was it?” Your voice matches his in volume, your eyes flicking from his lips and back up to meet his gaze. He takes a deep breath, relishing in the feeling of your cold hands twisting into the fabric of his shirt, your knuckles brushing against the skin of his stomach. “Channie?”

The way you said his name should’ve been innocent. It should have just grabbed his attention, snapped him out of the spell you’ve cast on him.

The air is knocked out of your chest at the first touch of his lips on yours. It isn’t rough, not by any means.

His lips move smoothly against yours, slow and sure of every move he wants to make as if he’s always going to be two steps ahead of you. One of his hands slides down to cup the back of your head, right at the base to allow him to angle your head and pull your body closer to his. Your hands have tightened into his cotton t-shirt, holding so tightly you’re positive the fabric has stretched.

Your chest is on fire, whether from lack of breath or the emotions running through you like wildfire, you aren’t sure, but you don’t want to stop. You can’t stop. Not when he tastes so good, not when he’s kissing you like there’s nothing else he’d rather be doing.

A whine escapes you, and you feel his body go rigid. His lips stop moving, and he pulls back from you. You see his chest stuttering as he tries to stop himself from taking deep breaths. He doesn’t say anything, and neither do you for a long time.

You don’t have to, though. The drawings he traces into your hip with his finger and the hazy, starstruck look in his eye says enough.

His eyes meet yours when you clear your throat to get his attention.

“So,” your voice is slightly hoarse but you can’t find yourself caring. Not in front of Chan. “You never answered my question.” He bends down, his lips lightly pressing into the skin of your neck. Your breathing hitches, and you feel him smile against you.

“What question was that?” He asks, and his voice is right in your ear, and you can’t help but pull him closer to you.

“What was it that you felt?”

He just laughs against you, finally taking his hand out of your hair.

“You know what it was, pretty. Don’t pretend.”

You smile, your arm coming to wrap around the back of his neck.

Love. It was love, and you knew it the whole time.

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daylite-writes · 1 year ago

Note

Traitor readers always hit different! How about traitor reader with all of the harbingers (but I got a special bias for Pierro) 😫. Like betraying one is bad enough betraying and hurting all? Oh boy

Oooh I like this! I am gonna split it up into separate little instances of what I think they’d be like though for my sanity. I may expand to a few other full traitor fics (esp the Pierro one I really popped off on that damn) later on if I get ideas!

Certain characters take it MUCH better than others, varying from a scale of “Oh that’s Lowkey Hot” to “DIE”.

cw: yandere (?) behaviors, murder, manipulation, imprisonment, forced marriage, forced experimentation

~~~ Harbingers reacts to Traitor!Reader (ordered best to worst ~~~

Childe definitely takes it the best. In fact, this is honestly preferable for him. He’ll let you escape back to your leaders after you find out, giving you a head start before chasing you across Teyvat. The adrenaline is the hot part. He can’t get enough. He’s so easily bored. Come on baby, run a little faster. Make it fun. And after he follows you to your master’s base of operations, he’ll slaughter them and offer you an official place within the fatui’s ranks. Under him, of course! He won, after all, and the winner takes all.

Pantalone doesn’t see this as the worst thing. He’s very familiar with traitors, spies, and secrets. Though how you got around him for so long is a mystery. Once he finds out he’ll just be so sweet. Come on, treasure, just tell him everything and he’ll protect you. No? Oh well. A pretty enough price—or a favor from his more violently inclined coworkers—will have them abandoning you forcefully or not. Then he can scoop you up and… convince you to come home with him. It’s just more leverage to have over you, and it’s perfect for a man with control issues.

Pulcinella just… drops you. He has a nation to run, and his proximity to important information is too valuable. Unlike many of his colleagues he is not willing to bend the rules for feelings. He’s old, and he knows whatever feelings he feels towards you (platonic, romantic, familial, whatever) will pass with time. He reports this information to the proper place, and trusts the people he commands to take care of you properly. It hurts, but most things do at first.

Signora really thought you loved her. She hasn’t felt passion in centuries, and now as soon as her frozen heart thaws it’s revealed you're a traitor? Her heart can hardly take it. It hurts so much. Leave. Go now before she changes her mind and kills you. She cannot bear to have another lover dead in her arms. So take this chance and go, if you don’t, ice will encase her heart and she will slaughter you.

Columbina goes the kidnapping route essentially immediately. You can’t be a spy if you can’t report back to your masters! She’s very gentle though, running her fingers through your hair, humming happily, showering you with beautiful outfits and clothes. Even if you’re paralyzed from her haunting melodies, and feathers and eyes unfurl from the corners of your vision. Like a bird in a cage. It’s really your fault for catching the attention of someone so insane and powerful.

Arlecchino reacts similarly to Capitano, she is very proficient at breaking people down, ruining them, and turning them into what she thinks you ought to be. How dare you? This is a betrayal she will have to remedy. Loyalty is necessary. She’s crueler than him about it. Less patient. You will not be coming out of this unscarred. It’s better to just give in quickly, convincing her you learned your lesson, that you’d never betray her again. Reguardless of what you do though, several house of hearth members will be stalking you whenever you’re away from her, so don’t even bother trying to get back to your masters. It will not end well.

Pierro. Oh Pierro. You’ve never seen the man so sad. For a second, he looks almost pathetic. That is, before he motions for his men to drag you down to whatever dungeons are within the palace. He doesn’t visit you for weeks, but as soon as you start to think he’s never going to look at you again, he’s there, outside your freezing cell. The sadness so heavy in this man is wiped away by fury. He, personally, drags you from your cell. You can’t even walk as he pulls you along, stumbling every time you try to get your footing. He drags you for what seems like forever, ignoring you. Eventually, you’re in the Tsaritsa’s cathedral, with the ice goddess herself standing where the priest was. She smiled at you, and fear floods your body as he forces you down the aisle. He mutters something about how lucky you are. How many strings he had to pull with his god to allow this. You’re married there, ice freezing your ankles as you stand where a bride would, heart heavy in your throat. You know then that the only option is to say “I do”.

Scaramouche does not and will never take this well. Another betrayal? Typical of humans. He will go into a rage when he faces you, and chances of you escaping that rage in one piece is slim to nothing. If you don’t, ice floods his veins as he curls around your body, just asking why why why. If you do, he’ll drag you to the infirmary, force some poor healer to fix you, and then toss you in the dungeon similar to Pierro. He won’t visit you, thinking that this is a proper punishment. You abandon him? He’ll abandon you. He’ll come around sometimes though to yell at you or sob on your lap. Other than that, expect a life of imprisonment with mild favoritism and some physical scars.

Sandrone doesn’t take it well at first. When faced with your crimes, she immediately lashes out, destroying several of her newest machines and scarring you physically. After she calms down, though, she’ll calmly figure out everything that you leaked, who you leaked it to, and begin to work while you stay in a cell in her lab. She comes back to you a few days later, in which you’ve been completely abandoned, with some sort of mechanical collar and a tracking chip. Oh calm down, she’ll say as she rolls her eyes. The surgery is quick, but done without any anesthesia. The collar records everything and will shock and paralyze you upon exiting her laboratory. The chip is for tracking, but it can also release poison into your bloodstream. There! She was being so nice, not turning you into a machine. Say thank you, it might make her more likely to feed you.

Dottore has a breakdown almost immediately upon hearing this. He’d cackle, pacing in front of you, rambling on about how bold you were to try this shit with the cruelest of the Harbingers. Really? Playing with his heart is probably the worst mistake a person could ever make. He’s never been too enamored with human bodies, but monsters? Abyssal creatures? He finds them so beautiful, and he’s been needing a new subject. Don’t worry, it won’t hurt! Just be quiet and let him make you into the ideal version of yourself. He’d never dare do this to you if you weren’t a traitor, he loved you, but all bets are off as soon as you sabotaged his work and smuggled information. And the worst part? You’d still be his lover. Forever bound. Just more monstrous than before.

~~~

Lowkey I can’t believe I wrote for all of them. I didn’t think I do them all but then I had IDEAS. Which is somewhat uncommon for me. Everyone clap!

#genshin yandere #Yandere Genshin x reader #yandere harbingers #yandere dottore #yandere childe #yandere sandrone #yandere pierro #yandere pantalone #yandere Signora #yandere scaramouche #yandere arlecchino #yandere Pucinella #technically? I mean he’s here #yandere columbina #i think that’s everyone #asks #requests #genshin fanfic

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littlestarbigsky · 2 months ago

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been thinking long and hard abt soda and what it did to him to drop out of high school (i also feel bad bc somehow the only fics i have abt soda are all ships and i know i can do better for my boy)

so here’s a quick lil thing abt darry and soda after soda dropped out :p

darry couldn’t remember the last time soda had been this upset. even after their parents died, there were moments when the gang was all together and soda could laugh and feel the littlest bit normal again, but this felt like it was never going to end, and there was no reprieve. there was no end in sight, and darry couldn’t do anything to help him.

his grades had been going downhill for a while. it wasn’t his fault, or at least not entirely. it had been years since soda had done alright in school on his own instead of barely scraping by, and at some point the class had left him behind and it was like they started speaking another language.

and then their parents died.

soda already had enough trouble missing one day of school, let alone missing a week while they tried to throw together a funeral.

a month after their parents had died, after far too many nights at the kitchen table crying over math homework, after screaming matches that shook the roof over his grades, after darry had yelled so many times about how failing out of school was a surefire way to get them sent to a boy’s home, soda finally said that he was dropping out of school.

he could barely leave his room after telling darry, he couldn’t even tell ponyboy himself. he didn’t know what to do with himself, battling with his own mind every hour of the day. thoughts bouncing around his head of feeling like a failure for not even being able to graduate high school, bullying himself over not being able to joke around about it or making other people happy, which felt like maybe the only thing he was good at anymore. he knew that he was going to fail out eventually, so what was the point?

“soda?” darry cracked the door open, his eyes landing on his little brother where he had been for the last three days: curled up in bed, his back to the door. “do you want some dinner?”

soda silently shook his head.

darry sighed, “you can’t stay in here, forever, pepsi. we miss you out there.”

soda didn’t give much of a response, just gave a half hearted shrug.

“listen,” darry let himself into the room, sitting down on the bed and bringing a hand up to rub soda’s back. “i know you feel lousy, and i know you’ve got a lot on your mind, but you’ve gotta get back to living, soda. you’ve just gotta. we couldn’t get along without you.”

soda rolled over and sat up, and darry had to swallow a gasp at the state of his brother. soda’s eyes were rubbed raw and angry red from crying with deep shadows stamped under them, his hair was sticking up at all angles from the grease he hadn’t washed out in days, and his clothes were wrinkled and hanging loosely off of him.

“soda…”

darry could hardly get the word out before soda had thrown himself at his big brother, tears starting up again. god, he was so tired of crying.

“i’m so sorry,” he cried miserably, clutching to darry with everything he had in him.

darry felt the tears hit his shoulder and his heart ached for his little brother, “i know, i ain’t mad at you, honey.”

“mom and dad just wanted me to graduate and i couldn’t even do that! how am i supposed to do anything if i can’t do that?” soda sobbed.

“they’re not mad at you either, baby, don’t say that,” darry could feel tears prickling in his own eyes.

“listen, i don’t care if you’re lyin’ to me,” soda leaned back, his eyes not meeting darry’s. “but can you please tell me it’s gonna be okay.”

darry felt like he had missed a step going down stairs with the way the words made his stomach drop. he grabbed soda’s face in his hands and forced his brother to look at him.

“it’s gonna be okay, baby. i don’t know when and i don’t know how but i promise you, we’re gonna be okay. i’m gonna make sure we are.”

he wasn’t sure soda believed him, and maybe he didn’t even fully believe himself, but he had made a promise, and he had every intention of making good on it. some of the tension soda had been holding in his shoulders seemed to melt away, and darry knew he would be okay with saying everything over and over again if it meant soda didn’t have to be so scared.

“thank you… i know you hate lying to us.”

“i wasn’t lying.”

#sodapop curtis #darry curtis #the outsiders #the outsiders fic #star’s writing

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zeyris-daydreams · 2 years ago

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I tried to get a tighnari ai to behave the way I wanted it to but it did not work. Instead I wrote a tighnari fic myself

// sexist tighnari, implied sexist Cyno, non-con, tighnari and reader without a vision, kidnapping, breeding

「—————————·♡·—————————」

Tighnari was nothing but kind and patient to you. Sure, you had to be dragged back to Sumeru by your feet given how idiotic you were, but it was your own fault.

It all started when you went to Sumeru after hearing your traveler friend say what kinds of things Sumeru has while they were in the process of traveling there. Back and forth, their life sure must've been interesting. Not only trying to find the missing sibling, but seeing so many nations and knowing so many people.

As much as it wasn't the life you wanted for yourself, that itself was inspiring enough to get out of the unchanging surroundings to visit Sumeru. It sure meant to be a one time visit, just seeing the mushrooms, trees. Exploring the culture, people, their way of being. You were fortunate to stay in Sumeru while the conflict with dendro archon was finally resolved, and the Lord of dendro freed herself from the oppressive hands of akademiya. To think they'd hide away their once beloved God just because she was no longer the size she used to be.

That itself was a story full of inspiration, and just like that you stayed in Sumeru longer, as far as allowing your friend to introduce you to the people they met. Paimon sure kept talking the whole way, but alas you were there. After meeting Cyno you met the forest ranger called Tighnari; it wasn't the first time you met a person with animal body parts, as much as his huge ears always shocked you. After exchanging pleasantries traveler explained what Tignnari does, and he agreed to let you learn from him about the forest. As much as you weren't a person to like the outside world, the beauty of sumeru had you captivated for a while. To the point you didn't even realise that something from the forest made you sick. Weakening you, you hardly had the energy to leave the village, it sure wasn't related to Tighnari.

Yeah, right.

You knowing other people was irrelevant, as you spent more and more time with Tighnari, completely oblivious to the fact that you had an effect on him. It was confusing the other, Collei had a vision. He could teach her, given that Celestia was kind enough to even accept her input. Collei was just a girl after all, but you? An ordinary person with no vision, expecting to get some knowledge? Tighnari didn't know whether to find it hilarious or astonishing, and yet he fed you with the thought that you were in fact learning valuable things.

Sure, the mushrooms he taught you about aren't really that common, so there's no need to learn about them, but he had to have a reason to tell you about the plants that definitely will not heal wounds? When you asked about essential information, he only said you had more to learn before you'd be able to gain that top knowledge.

It frustrated you to no end, after all you didn't plan to live there. Tighnari refusing to share essential knowledge was sickening, and yet you clung to the idea that maybe he will tell you something important.

From not caring, you became a person who's sole idea was to get Tighnari's approval. Your weird weakness didn't go away and only grew worse, and for some reason the only relief you could get was to not be exposed to Sumeru for the most part.

"Let's see if staying inside does you any better."

He said. And you didn't expect that to work, in fact you didn't expect him to say it again a week after.

Your skin felt less itchy, but as soon as it started to get better, the sensation of your clothes against your skin was the key to your irritation. As much as staying inside helped, now the clothes kept bothering you. And whenever you as much as stayed in something looser or shorter, Tighnari would look at you for a moment, before he'd continue doing what he did before.

It remained unclear wether that was the intended effect, and one could only assume it wasn't what the ranger intended. Still, that being a side effect made it all more convincing.

And yet to him you were nothing but trying to tempt him. Make him snap, which is what you'd get if you weren't careful enough. And after a few weeks he regarded to you with some sort of coldness, some sharpness to his speech.

And still, you remained as kind as ever, as much as sometimes it annoyed you. You were offered a drink or two by Tighnari at some point, and he drank some as well. After all he only taught you how to get rid of witherings by a long distance, if he ever needed your help. And you stupidly believed he finally began to treat you like a friend, only to end in his bed, crying out, spread open. All because you gave him the permission, and maybe it was your own fault for being too relaxed around the fennec.

After that Tighnari began acting weird around you, closer. More touchy. There he'd pull your hair from your face, other time he'd tickle your chin. You thought it was going better, your weakness finally fading ever so slightly.

One time when he was telling you about the completely irrelevant topic of sumeru roses, you mentioned briefly if his dendro could dry them up or preserve them so you could take them to your homeland. Show these beautiful flowers to people you knew. If he could help you take more.

That was met with an expression filled with blankness, before he jokingly said something along the lines of. "we will see"

He didn't take you seriously though, and after you mentioned it again, he seemed irritated as ever, long ears pushing themselves back on his head as Tighnari fought the troublesome feeling in his gut. But he agreed to let you see if his dendro can work to preserve later. And you, like an idiotic human you were, agreed.

Only a day later did you see that your weakness returned, and that it only came in the morning. Tighnari blamed it on allergies and pollens, that "these flowers aren't ones that you grew around. That's what makes you weak, possibly."

Confused, you never understood why. It was only when you were looking for Colleis medicine did you knock over a bottle that spilled down your shirt, and within a moment you felt your body burn. The effect truly was invisible, the substance clear as water. The first thing you did was to wipe it off, the sensation so terrible it took you a moment to connect the dots. It felt the same as when you'd step out of the house, the same as when you'd put on more layers. Was it someone's- was it Tighnari's doing?

The idea made your stomach curl, and you were quick to try and confront him. But all you've been met with was Tighnari telling Collei you seem to be getting worse, making up stories about him.

"I didn't expect local flora to affect you that way, we will be more careful next time"

And when your whining was finally over, now that Collei walked somewhere else, you had to deal with what you've caused.

To think someone like you could try to make Tighnari, the beloved caretaker of the forest, look bad. You couldn't forget the look of disappointment on Collei's face when she walked out, remembering the gloomy look on the foxes face. The memory had your hands shaking.

"To accuse me of such things. I really do wish to know what I might've done that you try to make me look bad" and yet you already knew what face hid behind that mask. Any protest you brought up was muffled by his hand, fingers easily making you drink a vial. Being pressed against the wall with his fingers blocking your nose was sure one way to get you to swallow it whole.

It made you dizzy rather fast, and he managed to just about lay you on the bed before you fell unconscious. Tighnari panicked, he had to find a backup plan. He couldn't let you leave him with that issue, leave him stranded till he'd die.

Sure, you were just a human girl. A pathetic little idiot who thought she'd get away with getting on his nerves, teasing his nature. And then planning to leave, he couldn't let you be away without a consequence.

And not once did he mention the weakness of his kind, to him, his manipulation was just means of ensuring your stay. And now that you had clear plans to move, Tighnari made it sound like he was used by you.

Maybe him not telling you why you couldn't leave was also means to keep his own shame to himself. He'd whine about this to someone, and not bring the issue up with you. and since you pretended to deserve knowledge, to be so knowledgeable, maybe you should've known what you've done when you let Tighnari have his way with you.

You hated everytime he turned it that way, and Collei didn't look too keen to touch the topic anymore. Because as longest as you didn't try to leave, the forest ranger didn't mention the topic to anyone. You'd be good, let him do as he pleased, and you'd be fine.

That's until your friend was back from Fontaine to meet with you up again. Tighnari dreaded that visit, traveler always could tell when something was wrong. And you were meant to be gone from Sumeru by that time, so after a while of planning he made you behave. By some miracle you had your hands on herbs that would help you with not conceiving the first and last time you let Tighnari act up, and you thanked Archons for that opportunity.

But this time, Tighnari was straight about it. And if you dared to as much as make a wrong look, he'd make sure you'd be swollen with kits before you'd be able to say another accusation. Before you'd able to leave and not depend on him anymore.

And so, when Traveler and Paimon finally arrived, you did your best to behave. Using their visit as means to distract the forest ranger, you had a plan. After all he couldn't chase after you when they were there, so you waited carefully for the time they'd arrive, and dressed up. Earlier you didn't do that, because of the odd feeling on your skin, usually wearing loose clothing. That was preffered by Tighnari's standards. You were a silly woman, easy access was what was preferable.

And the moment you were alone for as much as a moment, you ran. You ran on your feet fast, you ran for a while. And even if the pain was like needless, you pushed through, just to make sure you weren't there anymore. And even if you were faintly aware that someone was after you, you landed in the famous sumerian port. Only then did you realise how long you haven't seen this place, and before that someone could catch up to you, you sneaked on the container ship. It rather fast sailed away, leaving the person who followed you rather angry.

Traveler did ask Tighnari where you went, and as much as the ranger tried to hide both his anxiety and anger, he assured it must've been to get Collei's medicine. Shortly after the traveler was gone though, Cyno met face to face with the other.

"She sailed to Inazuma, now that the decree in Inazuma is lifted, a lot of merchants move their things there." He started. Ah he was annoyed, Cyno didn't want to disappoint his friend like that. But he almost had you, almost.

"It will take three days for the boat to arrive to the port in inazuma, but there's no other boat available for at least a week" and yet Tighnari couldn't bring himself to be angry at the general. It was his own issue. "Thanks for letting me know that."

Cyno scoffed. Although not earlier mentioned, Cyno met with you quite a bit. Everytime he visited Tighnari, you exchanged glances. And these weren't pleasant. You knew Cyno was aware of everything, and Cyno didn't care either. As longest as his friend was happy, he couldn't care less for an opinion of a woman. Even more so, one who thought she could handle taking care of plants and forests without any real talent.

Or a vision, to show her ambition was worthy of attention.

You tried to gain knowledge to be able to develop more solutions for the problems of your nation, and now you were not only chased by a crazy fennec, you also had a general from Sumeru on your tail.

First days in Inazuma were nothing but an issue, and you eventually managed to ask the sweet girl you met to find you a job. Ayaka already knew where you'd be useful, and so you ended up as the main caretaker of her garden. Her estates garden that is. Even though you hardly met her brother, Thoma was good enough of a friend. Although nothing was between you two, it took you some convincing to make Ayaka hide your traces in Sumeru.

You cried to the Celestia itself that day, just how blessed you were that someone as kind as her was willing to help you out on your second day in Inazuma, keeping in mind your impromptu arrival. After all you didn't get ready for this at all, maybe it was better. Maybe that cursed Ranger would've known something was up otherwise. Regardless, you were happy that Cyno couldn't show up. General in Inazuma could cause some diplomatic issues, and even if he sent men here in disguise, they'd never find you.

That is what you thought, because when the traveler came there to meet with people again before their new journey, you were sure you'd collapse.

"Paimon meant to ask, after the last visit in Sumeru we didn't see you for a while. Paimon is curious, do you not like the sumerus climate?"

She could be sweet, and yet that question itself seemed to fill you with anger. By then the fear of the ranger turned into anger faster than it could be seen that you were scared.

You said something unpleasant, after which paimon didn't ask about that at all. In fact, paimon didn't ask you anything again, and the guilt you felt in that moment was enough. You told the traveler that there was nothing to worry about, keeping Tighnari's little threat in mind.

He wasn't there, and it filled you with fear nonetheless. "Try anything, a word. Any weird movement, and I'll fill you with kits enough times for you to understand who you belong to." So that you wouldn't be able to leave.

It was sickening.

To bear the children of your captor was the last thing you'd want, and even if he wasn't there, that fear didn't go away.

Alas Traveler ended up hanging out with Ayaka for the most part, and it was peaceful for another week. That time spent in Inazuma felt great, refreshing aside from the constant paranoia. That whenever Ayato wanted something, you assumed he'd send you back to Tighnari. Or whenever Ayaka would take you out in her limited time, you'd look around, back and forth to try and see if someone is waiting to snatch you.

It took you another week to calm down and grow accustomed to the people, but it didn't last much longer.

One day that you finally felt fine enough to walk out on your own, you bought Ayato another rather weird combination of ingredients. And you weren't even there to carry it in, only remembering the blunt pain to the back of your head the moment you turned to walk back to the estate.

From the sound of it, it wasn't Tighnari to be the one to drag you back. He was quieter, but these steps were rougher, heavier.

Whoever that was, you woke up on the boat again, tied to the wood that kept the floors of the boat separated. The column of that wood was thick, and with how you were tied, you couldn't even shift to the side.

There he was, you saw the light colour of his purple vision in the darkness. It seemed he stayed on boat, because in the end he really came for you. "You're lucky Tighnari can't leave Sumeru for more than a few days." Cyno spoke. "otherwise he'd smash your skull in the moment he saw you"

You knew it didn't mean to make you feel better. In fact it only brought more fear to your gut, tears swelling in your eyes as you bit your lip. You wouldn't give him any satisfaction, silent whenever he spoke.

Coming to Sumeru was a bad choice. How could you not notice the way you were treated just because of your lack of vision? Just because you weren't from Sumeru, because you weren't a man. "he was worried sick for this past month, and here you are, parading with some other men like a whore"

Cyno murmured, looking down to you again. By then he was stood near you, and you couldn't help but hiss. Only hearing him made you fill with anger.

It ended as soon as it started, and soon you were led out of the boat by force of course. After making sure you were unconscious again, you were driven back to Ghandarva vile.

Ah Cyno kept complaining just how worried Tighnari was the whole time you were on the ship, and now even if you were unconscious, you could hear his annoying voice repeat that.

And you didn't care, to you, they both could die. They could just go at eachother if that's how Cyno cared for Tighnari, you didn't care.

More than seeing Tighnari, you dreaded waking up. Dreaded the consequence of your own action, facing him after knowing what you did. And how angry he'd be.

As soon as you opened your eyes you saw you were stuck in the similiar office again, with the soft bed, and the unfortunately similiar figure at the desk.

At least he seemed to be composed for now, eyeing you in silence before you were lectured. He'd leave the physical punishment for later, firstly telling you just how idiotic you are.

"You sure are pathetic, such a weakling like you going away. I sure hope you had fun, that was the wrong way to beg for my attention" he started, putting down the mixture of herbs he was mixing.

Tighnari stood up, his fluffy tail twitching. And it was clear he did his best to keep his ears straight, so they wouldn't betray any emotion. And yet they kept twitching backwards in annoyance. "I never wanted your attention, asshole-"

At least you managed to have some of your sass, his fingers squeezing your chin to tip your head up. You almost forgot you had your arms tied behind your back. "quiet, let the adult speak."

"To think you can toy with me and my feelings is truly disgusting" he started, scoffing. "you really are pathetic, getting me to bond with you to then try and leave me forever. How cruel can you be, y/n?"

Your face twisted in confusion, repulsion. You felt dreadful with how he turned the blame on you again. "I never wanted any of this, Ti-"

"You didn't! Ah, yes tell me all about it then!" Forcefully you moved your head away from his grip, and that did not seem to please him. "You know fully well we mate for life, and you just got up and left. What is actually wrong with you!"

"First you start showing yourself around me, carelessly showing off to tempt me. And when I finally had enough, I am to blame?" At that point you knew that speaking would rile him up more.

It wasn't the Tighnari you used to grow fond of. He was nice, he cared for you ; and now he's just awful. He didn't deserve any more words to describe his behaviour. And whenever you brought it up earlier, you were met with 'if you behaved, I could be nice around you again'.

Now wasn't the time to think about that, because he hissed. "I'm a man for Archons sake! You lured me in and then dared to-" he spoke with utter disgust. "Leave like nothing, are you really that dumb to think we wouldn't find you?"

It seemed the anger pent up and he didn't know how to express it anymore. Especially with his recent heat, where he couldn't cope with it anymore, crying from pain at the thought of not being able to get it out on you. It wasn't as bad before you two had sex that time, but now, now that he craved you, the pain was bad enough to make him throw up. That thankfully was a few days ago, now he was way better. It still brought a lot of anger and frustration, but you not seeing him in that sorry state was the most convenient.

"Or was it just some competition?" He started. "make yourself my mate and then fool around to make me prove myself like a pathetic little cub, all for your own amusement? That must've been what you wanted. To make me show how well prepared I am to care for you and our little kits-" oh no. No. "Ah, to test me like that, you sure are not trustworthy"

"But now, that..that will change. You won't leave me again to entertain other men" he started, leaning to look at you. By how he looked at you though- The threat from before finally sank in. He wouldn't let you leave. You wouldn't be able to leave.

You'd be stuck there with his kits, unable to go anywhere anymore. You'd be a good girl and stay in Sumeru, and you wouldn't make yourself visibly available to any other men as he assumed you wanted.

"Tighnari I'm- ssorry please ddon-t do this-" before you knew it you were already crying, his finger wiping off the tear as he sighed. "Don't cry, I'm only doing what's best for you, please, understand it" it wasn't time to focus on how angry he was. Because oh how happy he was to finally have you back.

For a brief moment that caring voice returned, even if it was nothing but condescending. By that time Tighnari was already sat on the bed, pushing you back to lie down. And with your arms tied, you couldn't as much as sit back up, shaking your head when he tugged you by your legs.

Like that he was sat between your thighs, looking at you.

Oh he'd rather do it when he'd be in heat, but he knew if he waited more, his little darling would find a way to leave.

Again.

And Tighnari could not have that in any way, he could not have you as much as think about it. "calm down now.."

Despite saying that he took your top by it's edgee, ripping the buttons off to open it up. "tighnari nno-" another whimper.

Squirming away was of no use, he held you down, and within moments your bottoms were off as well, face buried in your neck as his fingers dragged across your clothed heat. At least your underwear was still on.

You dared to try and hiss again, this time his hand dug into your waist, making you wince. After he made sure to bite your neck he spoke, maybe he enjoyed seeing your face twist in that pain.

Either way his other hand didn't have the glove on it anymore, fingers moving beneath your underwear to move up your folds, index one rubbing your clit in circles.

You really were just crying, whimpering for him not to do that, and each time he'd say something along the lines of. "Let me take care of it.." or "behave now, you brought this upon yourself" and even if he didn't speak it harshly, it was clear he was belittling you, focused on how easy it was to slick you up, his fingers easily entering you.

Tighnari shivered, oh it felt nice. You were so hot, squeezing his fingers in a way where he couldn't just wait to sink into you. And yet he was careful, dragging them over your walls, scissoring them lightly with each move until you were whimpering.

Each move made your body tremble, shivering. Your thighs squeezed him in a pathetic attempt to try and slow him down, or discourage him, but Tighnari only took it as a challenge, gripping your thigh to move it open.

"H-nhho- I'm ssor-Ssorry let's- nh- ttalk it o-ooUt.." your pathetic crying mixed in with the whimpers, breath hitching each time his fingers dragged out of you.

"It's far too late for discussions, mate" mate. Only then did it click he couldn't have been lying. Was it really your own fault for letting him use you that one, single time? No. You couldn't let yourself be tricked, he did it himself. He should've thought about what he did.

Tighnari's fingers felt undeniably nice, and despite the weak kick you tried to give him, your thighs only shook, funny feeling in your gut tightening, curling. Your little struggle only made him tip his head a little, did you really think you could do anything? Weakened?

He knew how to pick you apart, so when you felt close, he made you come on his fingers against your will.

The forest ranger knew how to make sure you weren't distracted, and once he slipped the remaining fabric off your legs he undid his pants, taking our his mostly hard length out.

Mostly hard- he must've gotten off to the sounds of you whimpering and asking him to stop. Fucking degenerate, you didn't understand how someone could get off to that idea. You couldn't even tell him how disgusting he was, Tighnari's tip already moving over your heat to slick himself.

Moving into you easily he groaned, the sound melodic as your heat tried to push out the unwanted intrusion. But it only made him let out a whimper, Tighnari bottoming out inside you soon after, pressing into you, almost grinding as he nibbled on your neck again. "ggonna stuff you sso good-" ah it's been so long-

He really really missed it, that's how it was supposed to be. You were his mate for archons sake! And as a good mate you were supposed to fulfill his desires! Not run away and make him hurt and ache!

After all it was your fault for allowing him to have sex with you that one time. It was your fault he couldn't stop himself from wanting you so much, you should've known. You should've asked. And you were selfish instead, now paying the price as he slowly moved his hips away from you, just to bottom out again with a shaky groan. That was right, you were his.

"N-nnari please don't-" you knew the nickname usually worked, pace smoothly picked up as he shook his head. "N-nhh.. shhut up-" another grunt followed. "Bbe good and take it- Nhh fuck- you're sso tight.." it's been some time since someone did that to you, and Tighnari felt somewhat grateful that, by how you reacted, he was the last one you laid with in this way.

All you could do was whimper through tears, your body feeling funny. For some reason your body reacted in a way that betrayed your mind, it wasn't what you wanted. And yet it only grew warmer, hiccups leaving as you stared at the ceiling.

"nGh.. you'll bb-be a good girl- take it-" the ranger started again, the softness of his tail tickling the underside of your thigh. "Look at you already- hheating up like that.." he was aware this was a punishment, but to Tighnari, - before he'd let his anger take over and destroy you - the punishment would be better if it was taken slow. Your body betraying you, violatiing you in a way where you couldn't control yourself.

You enjoying it would only make it more humiliating, and he really did want to make you ashamed enough not to get any more funny ideas.

With each move the pace picked up, hand tight on your waist as you let out a shaky hiss, other hand sliding down your thigh so his thumb could press to your already aching clit, giving it slow rubs.

It all made you feel tight again, abdomen growing tense as you tried to use your legs to shift away, digging your feet into the bed to move up. But his grip was too tight, Tighnari's hands forcing your hips back onto his cock.

"Don't- hhn.. don't ffucking try that--" the thrusts grew sharper, and you had no choice but to look away. That gave you some sort of control, distracting yourself from what Tighnari was doing. You wouldn't give him the satisfaction of coming on his length like a cheap whore.

He seemed to catch on with your plan, his thumb pushing into you even more to make you wince. "Don't annoy me even mm-more, y/n- you know what's.. hha.. gonna happen otherw-wwise-"

You thought back to the traveler. To Ayaka and Thoma. You used their kindness up and were snatched without a warning, you didn't even get to say goodbye.

You imagined yourself taking care of the garden there, remembering the way you had to use the knowledge provided by Tighnari to do that. That itself made your brain focus back on reality. "Look at me, nnow-"

Once he was ignored he decided to let your hip go, hand gripping your chin tight to make you look at him. His eyes were narrowed, ears pulling themselves back in annoyance. It took you a moment to realise how rough he had become, uncontrolled cry following. Were you really moaning pathetically while thinking about Inazuma?

"You'll look at me-" Tighnari hissed, thrusts nice and hard. Oh god. You'd break.

"And see everything-"

Another harsh thrust. You'd spill.

"I'm doing to you-"

With that your core went tense again, the orgasm you so badly avoided making your toes curl, shaking your head. But his grip was too firm.

It was understandable, he was rather good with his how.

"Y-you understand?"

Unfortunately for you, you weren't able to hiss again, shaky and quiet cry leaving as you arched into the other unwillingly. That itself had him shudder, feeling you come against him like that mare his hips stutter into yours.

"H-mhh.. ggonna fill you-" oh no. "You wwant to be a mommy?"

You cried out that no, despite it being muffled. You whined and tried to kick at him after realising what he really meant, but it was useless. He was too strong, he was too fast.

The pace was all funny, ah he was close it seemed, face lowering back again so his sharp teeth could graze your neck. "g-ngh.. you're ggOnna- nhh llook soo good swollen with my kkits-"

That outcome was to be expected. You did that to yourself.

And now you had to pay.

You recalled that before all of this, when that mistak between you happened, he pulled out right after he came, but now, now that he finished inside you, he only stayed in, the discomfort only now settling in.

He felt odd inside you, did you tighten or did he thicken? Even if you tried to shift your hips it only made you wince, Tighnari's ear giving a small twitch of satisfaction.

"We will be stuck like that for some time. This gives you time to reconsider what you've done"

You really were crying up to that point, salty and hot tears streaming down your warm cheeks as you hiccuped, shaking your head.

He was nothing but manipulating. Always talking like he cared about what you had to say, always behaving like he could resolve the issue when in reality, you were never listened to.

"It's fine if you don't feel talkative this time. We have much more opportunities to talk it out tonight"

#yandere tighnari smut #tighnari #yandere tighnari #genshin impact #genshin smut #tighnari smut #tighnari x reader smut #cyno #tighnari non con

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snowball-doie · 4 months ago

Text

| pairing: gn!Reader x Fox Hybrid!Renjun

| warnings: 18+ MDNI. Domestic life with fox hybrid Renjun. He's in fox form throughout the fic. Cuteness aggression. No sexy stuff.

| wc: 1.5k

Ever since his hiatus began, Renjun was having a hard time keeping his form stable. Some days you’d wake up with a long orange tail wrapped around your thigh while the rest of him was still human; Other times he’d have pointy red ears on the top of his head, a long tail trailing along behind him, and soft whiskers on his cheeks during meals. You tried your best not to point it out. You knew that his unstable shifts had to do with his unstable mental health, so there was no point in faulting him for either when you’d been by his side since day one to hold him and make sure that he knew he was loved and supported by everyone around him. Besides, his fox features were so cute… You felt like melting whenever his tail would tap against your leg in the night. You knew that it was your job to protect him when he was at his most vulnerable, human or fox form, and it twisted your heart whenever you had to be away from him because it meant that something could go wrong or that there wasn’t someone there to calm him down if he were to get upset. You tried to keep him off his phone in order to avoid anything bad. You watched him as he deleted social media off his phone so that he could focus on getting better instead of what people were saying about him. But being away from him felt like leaving a whining cat home, the guilt seeping in when you knew that he was curled up in bed with his tail trying to wrap around himself in order to provide comfort…

Oh, fuck, you couldn’t take it anymore. You were spending more time at work focusing on Renjun than your tasks for the day. While packing your things, you told your boss that you were sick and would be heading home early— They could fire you if they wanted, you didn’t care, you just wanted to see your Renjunnie.

When you got home, you were in such a rush to input the door code that you fucked it up and had to start over while you pouted, anxiously swaying on the balls of your feet. Was your baby okay? Did he miss you? Did he go on his phone again? Did he open Twitter? Your heart twisted again,

“Renjun-ah, I’m home!” you called out the second the door was open.

The pitter-patter of black padded feet scrambled from the bedroom to the entryway so fast that you hardly had time to register what was going on before Renjun slid on the floor as he turned then dashed directly at you, a big smile on his face and a chirp of excitement right as he jumped onto you. You giggled. Cute thing was in his fox form completely. His tail was wagging, his ears were flickering, and he was licking your face to kiss you.

“Hi, my sweet boy.” You wrapped your arms around his small body.

Depending on the day and the amount of strength he had to transform, Renjun’s fox appearance could be as small as a cub; Other times he was so big that you couldn’t pick him up at all. That afternoon, however, he was about the size of your bicep, making him the perfect fit for cradling in your arms once he would calm down— Which you weren't sure when that would be with how hyper he was. You could barely hold him up. He was wiggling like crazy while whining to show how much he missed you.

“How long have you been like this?”

Obviously you knew that he couldn’t reply, but it was like talking to a dog or a cat. You kind of just… do it out of habit.

Renjun’s energy slowly faded until he was docile in your arms, allowing you to cradle him as you wished, leaving a kiss on his soft forehead to make him purr happily while enjoying his new found urge to be lazy. You walked further into the apartment now that you weren't busy managing him. All four of his legs were dangling in the air, his tongue lolling out, and his tail wrapped around your wrist so that you couldn’t let go of him— As if you ever would.

“Are you feeling okay today, sweet boy?”

Renjun nodded.

“Did you do this while you were sleeping?”

He shook his head.

“Hmm… Did you do it for me?”

He nodded again, his cute smile widening until his eyes were squeezed shut. Adorable.

“Did you at least drink water today? Or eat food?”

Renjun turned in your arms so that he could hide his snoot against your chest, an attempt to avoid answering the question with a nod or shake of his head— Which in turn told you everything you needed to know. Silly boy.

“Let’s get you something then.”

You carried him into the kitchen, and with your free hand which was not trapped by his soft tail, you retrieved a bowl from one of the cabinets. Renjun had designed a few bowls for himself to use whenever he would be in fox form. You used to keep them out so that he could use them whenever you weren't home and he happened to shift; but before his hiatus began, it had been about a year since he needed the bowls, so you both elected to store them away in order to keep them safe. Now that he was having trouble with his form, maybe it was time to put them back out.

“The yellow one?”

Renjun nodded.

You grabbed the yellow bowl and began filling it with drinking water. It was his favorite bowl that he had, the first one he ever made, decorating it with white flowers and purple decals here and there to highlight his favorite colors in a minimalistic yet still adorable look. Renjun was eager to drink the water when you put it on the floor for him then put him down too. He lapped at the water quickly, leaving you to focus on pulling food out of the fridge for him. Poor thing really needed you more than you knew… It wasn’t good for him to be home alone as much as he was. Maybe you could use up some of those vacation days you saved up in the hopes of going with Renjun on tour one time to support him… but with his ongoing hiatus, maybe it took precedence over something silly like tour.

“Here you go, sweet boy.”

After serving him some food, he began nibbling while you petted his long back, scratching gently along his fur until you got to his tail which you played with. He was soft. Very soft. He loved it when you played with his fur, because he never, ever let anyone else do that to him— It was just too personal, and it made him self-conscious. But you loved him for him, and you understood him, and he trusted you to take good care of him and not hurt him in such a fragile state. His tail started wagging faster once he finished his food and water, and he turned to look up at you with a proud smile that said, “Look what I did!” And you were looking. You smiled back at him while picking him up. He so calmly accepted laying down in your arms, allowing you to carry him over to the couch where you sat down and put him on your lap in order to turn on the TV as you slowly kept petting him.

Renjun chirped happily, his stomach full, his fur being played with, and the comfort of your body acting like a cushion beneath him. He didn’t even watch the TV with you. He kept his nose tucked towards your stomach so that he could look up at you with his cute eyes. You scratched the top of his head. Renjun’s eyes fell shut when you got the itches behind his ears and even flattened the fur along his nose while wiping away the food still stuck to his snout.

“I think I’m gonna stay here with you tomorrow,” you finally said, having made up your mind.

Renjun’s tail excitedly tapped against your thighs.

“That sound good, baby?”

He chirped happily.

You giggled. “Okay. Let’s do that, then.”

The tip of his nose nudged your wrist happily to urge you to pet him some more. Of course you obliged him. Renjun settled again, and you returned to watching TV. Eventually, you heard a quiet snore on your lap, catching your attention to find that Renjun was fast asleep, his body curled up into a C shape on your lap, his tail covering his paws and nose to keep himself warm.

“Gwiyeo…” you whispered, continuing to pet him because you worried that if you stopped then he would sense it and immediately wake up.

You could always save up on more vacation days… You were most worried about him, so it was time to stay home and look after him until he was better, then maybe you could actually go along with him on tour to keep him company. Honestly, if you weren’t as stubborn as you were, you would’ve taken up Renjun’s offer to quit your job and just have him take care of you… But since that wasn’t in your card, the best you could do was make sure your little fox was okay first and foremost.

taglist: @henderysposts

#op #fanfic #renjun #nct #nct dream #renjun fanfic #nct fanfic #nct dream fanfic

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bluecanvasshoe · 8 days ago

Text

Frankly, Mr. Shankly

platonic!Marauders x gn!Gryffindor!reader

Picture from Lucy Orpwoodd on Pinterest!

Summary: You've been feeling inadequate in everything, really. It seems the people you thought were pushing you away are the only ones who can help calm these thoughts.

Content: reader struggles with feeling 'average' and 'not good enough', everyone is a bit of an ass but they all apologize, hurt/comfort, Wolfstar is so far just pining in this and Remus is a lil salty, mentions of Sirius' family life :(, use of y/n (IM SORRY), teenagers being weird and communicating poorly

Word count: 3.4k

A/N: WOW i didn,t expect to be writing THIS much over the break, but i'm glad i have! i hope you all enjoy this one!! and: HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!! MY FIRST FIC OF 2025!

and just to be clear: what’s said in this fic about being average IS NOT the truth. but average is perfectly fine, and what’s been written are anecdotes from the reader’s mind (and mine, hehe). do not take whats said to heart, because you’re amazing no matter what!!!!

title from Frankly, Mr. Shankly by the Smiths!

You've always loved your friends, and you knew they loved you equally. If there's one thing about the Marauders, it's that each second spent is a second valued.

Year five was likely the most fun you’ve had in your life. So, why would year six be any different?

Well, this is how.

Your best friends, your partners in crime, your platonic soulmates who complete the Marauders, a group of five rowdy teens, seemed too good for you nowadays.

You were always painfully average in just about everything. It was well known, and for a long time, it really didn’t bother you. It was easy, low maintenance, and no one expected perfection. But since the start of the year, you soon came to find out that this average-ness made it incredibly easy for you to be outshined.

For so many years, people told you that marks or your number of friends were simply figurative objectives or ideas that didn’t carry any real significance. These assurances, however, are only said aloud when there’s nothing to downplay in the first place.

If you’re extraordinarily pretty, people would say you are blessed, and if you’re smart beyond imagination, people would call you gifted.

If you’re none of those things, if you’re not in the middle or either end of the line, you do not receive compliments because hardly anyone sees a point in complimenting the mode. This isn’t to say that some don’t put in a good attempt at digging deeper; but when you seemingly don’t care nor try, no one sees a point in acknowledging something neither person cares for.

These small encouragements were simply a means to an end, a way to appease the unsatisfied.

You didn’t blame anyone for your faults; that’d be silly. No other Gryffindor, no other friend, would intentionally try to put you down. But intentional or not, they still did.

So when James became Head Boy and had actual responsibilities, you felt a little upset. Not angry or sad, but you did miss spending every hour with him and the others. Not to mention the arrogance that he now held. It’d usually be funny, but now it felt like he was too good, too smart for you. You couldn’t live up to the student body’s role model that is James Potter.

After that, Remus became a Gryffindor prefect. You were happy for him, he truly, 100% deserved it. But then he had his own duties too, and you noticed how much more focused and dedicated he was to his role; a good thing, yes, but he tended to drown himself in responsibilities, distracting him from the Marauders. You now felt brushed off when you tried to make conversation with him, as if other things, things that would’ve usually fallen second, came before his friends now.

Sirius had always been a heartthrob, but over the summer, something must’ve changed to make him more appealing to the eyes of your fellow students. More often than not, he’d be away with someone new, or a new person would tag along in your adventures. This person would then begin to think that they were a Marauder, and it made things incredibly frustrating to have someone who often disregarded your presence assert themself into your life.

Finally, Peter was now spending more time with his girlfriend, a Ravenclaw girl you’d never met and he never specified before. You were happy for him, but now he was so distracted with her and trying to impress her via marks that he didn’t have as much time for the Marauders anymore.

But what about you?

Nothing was new in your life; you hadn’t been awarded the title of prefect, or head of anything, or heartthrob, or the love of someone’s life.

At first, you were sad. However, the start of a new school year was always a little bit melancholy, so you chalked it up to post-summer blues.

But when the leaves started falling and you found yourself walking amongst orange and red trees alone, you became angry. Angry at your friends, Marauders or not, angry at teachers who constantly downplayed your achievements, angry at your fellow students, and most of all, angry at yourself.

If you couldn’t live up to be as good as the rest of the Marauders, did you even deserve to be one?

Did you deserve to be at Hogwarts?

You tried studying more often and staying behind in class to ask questions and improve your grades, but nothing worked. Nothing improved. In your mind, you were a lost cause.

–

It was breaktime, and you were hoping you’d get to hangout with the other Marauders. You stood from your seat in potions, slinging your bag over your shoulder and exiting the dingey classroom.

Exiting the room, you ventured to a classroom close by in hopes that Remus would be there.

“Moons,” you called, approaching him.

He looked up from a piece of paper he had in his free hand, noticing you with a smile. “Oh, hello, N/N.”

“Would you want to come with me to find the others?”

He frowned, gaze sympathetic. “I have a prefect meeting that’s supposed to run for the entire break. I’m sorry, but I really need to go this time.”

You hummed, feeling a twinge of sadness in your chest. “Okay, no problem. Would you like for me to walk you there?”

He shook his head, smiling. “No, I’ll be alright. I’m getting used to it, the cane.”

With a nod, you stepped aside to let him past you. “Alright. I’ll, uh, I’ll see you later then, yeah?”

“Of course.”

It was always meetings, or supervisions, or patrols. God, he was too busy these days.

With no Remus to accompany you, you found the divination class where both James and Peter would’ve been.

James, noticing you from the corner of his eye, turned his head to face you. He had an arm around Peter, the two of them moving to stand beside the entrance of the classroom so as to not block those who were walking in the halls.

“Hey! How was potions? No Remus?” James asked, pushing his glasses up.

“Remus has a meeting-” “Right, that reminds me, um, guys, I have a study session this break.” Peter interjected, “sorry for the interruption, but I gotta go.”

“Oh, no problem, Wormy,” you replied, watching as James took his arm from Peter’s shoulder, shoving his back lightly as he walked off.

“You suck, James!” Peter called over his shoulder, receiving a hand-heart from his attacker in return.

You grinned, snickering a little. “Wanna come find Sirius with me?”

He smiled, his hands dropping to his sides as he made eye-contact with you. It was hard to look any of your friends in the eyes lately; you didn’t quite understand why. “Sure!”

You two had been making mindless, nonsensical chatter as you found your way to Sirius’ class. Lo and behold, he was there, leaning against the stone of the wall.

“Why’d you two take forever?” He groaned, standing up from the wall.

“Because your class is really far away,” James shrugged, him and Sirius doing their secret handshake. The long haired boy then turned to you, offering his hand for your handshake.

Once completed, you all began making random conversation, beginning to make your way down to the Black Lake.

“-And I mean, I’m Head Boy. Merlin, sometimes people are so stupid, it hurts!”

Sirius laughed, “yeah, I know. Sometimes people will think that, because I’ve had my fair share of partners and whatnot, they can just say whatever about me. It’s awful, especially when they believe that they’re my best friend for life. I cannot stand it.” He bemoaned dramatically.

“Exactly! People just believe that I’m everybody ever’s best friend because I’m Head Boy, and then-”

You didn’t try to interrupt the conversation; you wouldn’t have anything to say, anyways.

Head Boy, my relationships, prefects. It’s all everyone ever talks about, and it’s getting tiring.

–

Everyone, for the first time in a week, was gathered in the common room. Remus sat with Sirius on a couch opposite to you, James laying across a sofa that faced the fire, and Peter sitting beside where James’ feet landed.

Remus, seeming to remember something, raised his head to look at you. You who had been quiet, avoidant, and easy to anger in recent weeks.

“Right, Y/N, do you still have my copy of the Odyssey Homer I gave to you?”

You looked at him, jaw closed tightly. “Uh, yeah. I can return it in a bit.”

“Could you maybe get it now?” He insisted, his tone kind, but almost cautious. You felt bad for the fact that he felt he needed to be careful, guilt weighing more than it already did.

“...Yeah, alright.” You muttered half-heartedly, setting aside your book and walking past the couches. The warm, cozy atmosphere of the Gryffindor common room would usually be comforting, but it only made you feel more upset. Upset for the time lost between the five of you, and longing for the connection you all had in previous years.

You walked up the steps to your dorm, one of your roommates sitting on their bed. They looked up from a book about divination, giving a wave as you trudged over to your bedside table.

“You’ve been grinding your teeth in your sleep again,” They commented, dogearing a page of the textbook and closing it. “Does your jaw not hurt?”

You ignored their question, head turning to look at them. “Oh. I’m sorry. Why didn’t you wake me up?”

“Last time I did, Y/N, you were all pissy.”

“Still,” Your head turned back to the drawers as you crouched down, opening a drawer and searching through it. “I would’ve made up for it.”

“Not the point, Y/N. You’re acting weird.” They crossed their arms, leaning back against their headboard.

You paused, heart beating a little faster. So it’s noticeable? Merlin, of course it’s noticeable. But that means that your other friends have noticed it too. “No, I’m not.”

“You are. What’s eating you?”

Sighing, you closed the drawer and opened another one. “It’s just stress from school.”

They hummed, “You just said it was nothing.”

“It is, but now I’m telling you it’s school stress.”

“Exactly. You switched up your excuse because you’re refusing to say what’s been going on with you; it’s something else.”

You sent them an unamused look, trying to appear nonchalant. “Merlin, nothing’s going on. Will you drop it?”

They sighed, picking their textbook back up. “Christ, alright.”

You found the book you’d borrowed with a relieved sigh, closing the drawers of the nightstand and leaving your dorm with an unusual hastiness. Returning to the common room, you wordlessly gave Remus the Odyssey Homer and sat down again.

James craned his head towards you, stopping mid-sentence and interrupting his nonsensical conversation with Sirius. “You alright there?”

Looking up, you raised an eyebrow. “Yes. Why?”

He shrugged, “You haven’t been talking as much. Did we do something? If we did, you’re allowed to punch us all really hard if you tell us what.”

You huffed. They hadn’t done anything, not really. “You guys didn’t do anything.”

Sirius hummed, tilting his head. “You are acting kinda weird, though. We obviously did if you’re being this avoidant, mate. You can talk about it, we’re not gonna be angry.”

“You’ll feel better if you do,” Peter piped up, his words drawn out.

You hesitated. “It’s so stupid.” You muttered, looking at your lap.

“What’d you say?” James asked, leaning forward.

“‘It’s stupid’,” Replied Remus, using air quotes. James gaped, standing up to march over to your couch and sit down beside you.

“If it’s making you feel so upset, then it’s obviously not stupid!” He huffed, a hand on your shoulder. You grimaced, shoulders hunched.

“It’s not a big deal, though. I really shouldn’t be as upset as I am.”

“Nonsense, N/N! Don’t say that,” he chided. Peter leaned forward, each of your friends donning worried expressions.

Sirius scoffed, “you tell me I’m perfectly reasonable whenever i’m upset about my family, so stop being a hypocrite and tell us!”

“It’s not that easy, Pads.” You replied, frowning.

“I know it’s not, but we all trust each other, yeah? You know we wouldn’t judge you like pricks,” He reasoned, dragging Remus with him to squeeze into the vacant space beside you on the couch. Peter got up, opting to sit at the bottom of the sofa by you.

After a few seconds of hesitation, you felt your bottom lip quivering. James frowned, leaning forward to get a look at you; curse him and his observant qualities. “Awe, no, don’t cry,” he held one of your hands, fiddling with you fingers in an ever to calm you. “Actually, no, crying is good. But please, what’s wrong?”

The others, in a collective effort you get you talking, piped in small encouragements.

You wiped your eyes, sniffling. “I feel… I dunno, I feel stupid. Like- like you guys are too… good for me.”

“What? No!” James gasped.

Sirius frowned, an arm around your shoulders. “Absolutely not. You’re not stupid, and we are not ‘too good’!” He exclaimed, acting as though the mere thought was outlandish and preposterous in nature.

“Why would you think that?” Asked Remus, his voice gentle and coaxing.

You shrugged, swallowing your tears. “You’re… You’re all accomplishing things. And I’m really happy for you all, but I-” your voice cracked, the painful constricting of your throat cutting off your words. You’re not sure if your tears are out of anger or sadness. “I’m not doing anything. I’m not achieving anything impressive. I’m surrounded by amazing people, but I can’t even live up to a quarter of the person they are, and I’m so tired of it.”

You purse your lips, wiping at your eyes again. “And I- I…” With a deep breath, you felt the frustration in your chest bubble up again, the irresistible urge to snap consuming your thoughts and controlling your mouth. “I can’t be the person everyone else is; I’m so average it hurts, and every day I’m reminded of the fact that I’m not and won’t ever be as good as everyone else because now I’m being left alone with my thoughts more often. And- and it’s because all of you have some new title, or are too busy studying and I miss being friends with all of you and I feel so selfish, but I’m so pissed.”

When you were done, you took in what was likely the biggest breath of your life, lungs expanding wider than they ever had. Not even running could render you as out of breath as you currently are.

The rest of the Marauders fell silent, sharing expressive glances and mulling over the right things to say.

“We’re still friends. Marks, names, none of that... actually matters to us. They’re just things.” Peter replied, his voice soft.

You huffed, blinking back tears. “Everyone says that because no one understands that I try so hard to achieve that ‘thing’. It’s so much more to me than that; I just- I just want to be good enough.” You choked out, the anger fading from your voice and being replaced with a pathetic, sad crackle.

James’s hand tightened on your shoulder. “Hey, no, you are good enough. We don't care about any of that,” his tone grew to become more serious than it previously was, his words carrying double the weight. “We became friends with you because we all sat in the same train compartment and got along when we were eleven. Do you think we cared when we were kids?”

You took a steadying breath, shaking your head ‘no’.

“Do you think we care now?” He continued, thumb rubbing shapes into the bone of your shoulder.

“I don’t- I don’t think so.”

He nodded, “Good, ‘cause we don’t; you’re an enjoyable person, we value that the most!”

“Just because Prongs and Moony’ve got posh new titles doesn’t mean they’re better,” Sirius commented up from your other side, nudging you. “If they really believed in that stuff, do you think they’d be friends with us? I mean, we have a detention slip scrapbook, mate. Not really goody-two-shoes behaviour.”

You huffed a laugh at the mention of your shared collection of write-ups, wiping at your eyes.

“That’s not everything though, is it?” James and Remus chorused, giving each other a quick high five soon after.

You took a second, but you eventually shook your head ‘no’ once more. “Sirius, the people you’ve been hanging out with, they… I don’t like it when someone new is with us.” You said cautiously, looking at him in the corner of your eye. He blinked a few times, nodding. “They ignore me, Remus and Peter most of the time and it- it just feels a bit… degrading?”

Sirius’ mouth opened, giving a slow, understanding nod. “Ooh. Yeah… I can see why,” he sympathised with you, looking at Remus briefly. “Moony and I have talked a bit about it. I swear, I’m not doing it ‘cause I think we need someone new, but I don’t want to abandon you lot to go be with someone so seems cool; not as cool us, of course. I’ve tried not to involve them in our hangouts a ton, but- I dunno, I suppose they get in their head about it and act like they’re a part of our group. I’m sorry, not just to you, but to everyone. I’ve been an ass.”

You smiled, looking at him. “Thanks, Pads. It’s okay.”

He shook you a little, frowning. “Awe, don’t say that, hold me accountable. James said you could punch us, you could punch me!”

With a grin, you shook your head. “I’m not gonna punch you. That was shitty, though.”

“It was shitty, so if you won’t, I’ll punch him!” James offered, his usual attitude reappearing as he enthusiastically raised his hand.

“Let’s not punch each other,” Remus said at the same time as Peter interjected, lifting his head to say, “Can we not?”

“They’re constantly inhibiting our fun,” James whined, stretching his arm over you to hold hands with Sirius, who had a dramatic, forlorn expression on his face.

“We’re hated by everyone.” Sirius sighed, shaking his head.

Remus raised an eyebrow, frowning. The look he gave Sirius, the one the other would gaze at him with in much the same way, was one of longing and affection. It was torturous, really; seeing how in-love but convinced about its assumed one-sidedness they were. “Do you not have a fan club or something?”

“Let me be sad, Remus.”

James laughed, separating his hand from Sirius’ and looking at you again. “Seriously, though. We’ll never be ‘too good’ for you or leave you behind for something stupid like a title, mate. You’re our best friend, you always have been, and nothing will change that,” he squeezed your shoulders, glasses reflecting the warm light of the fire.

Remus nodded, “none of us were abandoning you. I suppose we all got distracted in our own ordeals, but we’d never knowingly distance ourselves from you. You’re one of us; your status doesn’t change that.”

You gave both Remus and James a watery smile, old tears drying in your eyes. “I’m sorry for being avoidant. I should’ve- I should’ve said what was happening, it’s not fair to you, I’m- I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize!” James exclaimed, removing his arms from you to outstretch at his sides, enveloping you in a hug immediately after.

Remus reached past Sirius, putting a hand on the middle of your upper back. “You’re a great friend, and I truly, honestly mean that. And you’re smart, too; don’t forget that. If I didn’t have you to talk with, I’d go insane. I hardly think they can even read.”

Sirius and James squawked dramatic refusals in response to his claim, causing Remus to grin smugly.

Sirius cleared his throat, placing a hand on your shoulder. “Anyways, if we’re all saying things we like about you, I still remember when you incendio’d that letter my mother sent in third year. I thought you were a badass. I still do; you’re cooler than that git.” He gestured to Remus, causing the scarred boy to raise his hands in faux shock, mouth slightly agape.

“I agree with what they said,” Peter interjected from the floor. “You’re a good friend. We all met on the train for a reason, I think.”

“Exactly, Wormy.” Sirius nudged Peter with his foot, the boy shoving it away in return.

After all was said and everyone was forgiven, you eventually all moved to form a group hug.

“Let’s pull a prank after this. ”James suggested, his voice muffled. “Let’s douse the hallways in grease from the kitchens again.”

Maybe the couch was tiny and didn’t fit all of you and maybe you couldn’t breathe anymore, but at least self-deprecation wasn't the cause for your breathlessness. The anxious, upset racing of your heart was replaced by happiness. The nasty thoughts clouding your mind and drowning out any sounds around you were replaced by giggles or dumb jokes from your closest friends.

For the first time in a few months, you felt that being average, normal, was okay.

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alsofrozenjokes · 6 months ago

Text

obligatory wing preening fic

Grian was molting.

He had been for the past week, and in that time Scar had hardly seen him at all. Not that he was too disappointed, really, Cub had said that Grian got moody during molts, and given that ‘moody’ seemed to be a default for Grian, Scar was in no hurry to see that.

Though, maybe that was unfair. Grian had a reason to be upset after he’d told Scar he was going to do better, Scar’s fault, one hundred percent, he knew that, though.. Well, he wasn’t exactly sure when he could have spilt that big of a secret, especially when Grian was.. interested.. in his alter ego, but regardless, he had a reason to be upset! Scar understood! But lately Grian had been nice. He’d been lovely, really. Scar just loved being HotGuy with CuteGuy, even in a time where he was struggling to love any version of himself at all, where he resented every alter ego that stopped him from being Scar, that kept him from knowing who ‘Scar’ was. He still didn’t know, truthfully. He had very little idea, but he felt like he might be getting closer when he was with Cub in his apartment, hanging out, laughing, laying on each other..

But Grian had been nice. Scar didn’t go very much out of his way to see him outside of work, but he didn’t necessarily feel the need. Grian didn’t go much of anywhere, so he was always around when Scar was with Cub, teasing, chatting with Cub about chores, pretending that whatever he and Scar had wasn’t extremely strained and awkward. Though, in a way, pretending made it more real, and when they were superheroes, they were hardly pretending at all anymore, fighting crime and being awesome and loved by all.

Apparently though, Grian had somewhat irregular molts, and this made him moody and itchy and generally antisocial according to Cub. And respectfully, if that information was coming from Cub, Scar wanted absolutely nothing to do with it. Though, the sentiment did live equally with Scar’s sympathy. Apparently Grian shed most of his feathers all at once, leaving sections of bald spots and itching as the pins grew in. He had a history of plucking as well, a desperate attempt to speed up the process according to Cub, but that really made things worse, and Grian had to wear covers to help curb the temptation, even when he was home. Apparently they had all sorts of wing sweaters, which Scar thought was adorable, a suspicion that was confirmed when Cub sent him a picture.

Grian did not look happy in the picture. He also didn’t look like he knew it was being taken. Scar wouldn’t be snitching, that was for sure. Anyway, all of this was the reason that Scar was petrified at a text from Cub in a groupchat with Grian.

‘Do you want to come over?’ Scar said yes before the second text came through.

‘This is the height of Grian’s molt, and it’s about now I help get rid of the keratin sheaths.’

‘My favorite time of the year :)’

Grian butted in immediately, ‘Glad someone’s having a good time.’

‘I am.’ Cub didn’t miss a beat. Scar put his phone down before either of them could say anything more. Was this- was Cub inviting him over to preen Grian’s wings? Well, maybe they were both inviting him, Grian was on the groupchat, and he didn’t say anything.. Maybe molting was different from preening? Though the way Cub said it, it certainly sounded like he planned on touching them. Touching Grian’s wings, oh god, yeah, Scar was not doing that, he’d been hit in the face enough times to know how this would go down.

But he said he’d go. Cub was expecting him and Grian- well, Grian probably didn’t care much either way, but Cub was expecting him! He had to go!

But what to do for an avian that was molting.. Scar didn’t know many avians. He didn’t know much about the species at all. They had wings. He knew that. And lots of sharp bits. Lots of sharp bits. Eugh. Maybe he should bring a peace offering? Flowers? People liked flowers. Avians were people. Birds probably also liked flowers. Maybe if Scar brought a bouquet of flowers and stood quietly in the corner of the room there would be minimal violence. Peace offering. Oh! And waffles! Frozen waffles, Grian liked those! Yes, perfect, this would be perfect.

Scar didn’t see Cub’s face when he opened the door behind the massive bouquet of flowers and waffles he was holding, but he could imagine it wasn’t anything less than positively thrilled! Despite his impaired vision, he knew the apartment well enough by now to navigate to the coffee table by the couch, however that didn’t stop Cub from fretting over him, pulling him in the right direction and generally being adorable.

“Scar- this really wasn’t necessary-“ Cub tried, but Scar waved him off in a grand gesture.

“It was no problem at all! Everyone needs a little pick me up, especially when they’re feeling under the weather.”

“He’s not sick, Scar.”

“He might not be, but you’re injured!” Scar turned on Cub, only half teasing, “Look at you in that mysterious cast with that mysterious broken arm, you might never recover!” Scar set the flowers down, humming as he passed off the plastic bags of frozen waffles to Cub.

“Doctor said I’ll be fine in two more weeks. The healing is faster with..” Cub trailed off, looking into one of the bags, “These aren’t going to fit in our freezer.”

“It won’t heal if you’re cursed! And you very well might be cursed! I wouldn’t know! You won’t tell anyone how it happened!” Scar stopped when Grian snorted a soft chuckle, noticing him for the first time.

“I’m not dying, Scar. Ya goof.” Grian hunched himself up on his arms from his place on the floor where he’d presumably been laying face down on a pillow and blanket. He was shirtless, wings splayed out behind him- wings- oh god he looked terrible! “What’s in the bags?”

“Grian! You look like a porcupine! What happened? Your- Where-“

Cub groaned while Grian laughed, letting his head drop back on his pillow. Scar was startled when Cub yanked his arm, “Scar, I told you he’s molting. Don’t be a dick.”

“I- I didn’t-“

“It’s fine, Cub,” Grian huffed a laugh, shaking his head, “I know I look like a half-plucked chicken. Or a porcupine, whatever. Most avians don’t shed so many feathers at once, Scar, but molts are never pretty.”

“You look, fine, Grian,” Cub insisted, but Grian wasn’t having it,

“I’ve lost so many feathers that I can’t even fly. I look diseased. I know it and you know it and Scar knows it. Right, Scar?”

Scar startled, caught stuttering between a wolf and a bear, both of whom were staring at him intently, “He- just a little. Maybe a little sickly, a little-“ he stopped when Cub patted his shoulder, rolling his eyes. Still, Scar bit his lip, glancing back and finding his escape, “I’ll put these away! If they don’t all fit I’ll just keep the rest at my house,” he said quickly, snatching the bags of frozen waffles back from Cub and retreating over the couch to the small kitchen.

“Wait, what’s in the bag-? You have a house!? Where’s your house? What’s your address? Why haven’t we been invited to your house, you’re at ours all the time!” Scar ducked away, embarrassed, but Cub seemed to have his back, answering the first question to a resounding oOooOoooOoo from Grian. Score.

Cub sat down next to Grian on the blanket and the two of them began to talk about something or another, though Scar was a little preoccupied with the freezer which.. was admittedly quite a bit smaller than he remembered. The damn thing was a pain to open as well, always getting stuck on who knows what. Yeah, he.. he was going to have to bring a couple of these boxes home. Most of them, probably. Hm. Did he have room in his freezer for this many waffles? Oh dear.

When Scar tuned back into the conversation behind him, he was pretty sure Cub and Grian were speculating about his house and all the rich people stuff he had in it, which, quite honestly, was not a topic of conversation Scar wanted to indulge in, so instead he stood stiff in the kitchen, vainly hoping he’d be forgotten about and Cub would finish preening Grian’s wings and everything would be fine.

“Hey, Scar? Whatcha doing?” Darn. Busted. Cub looked up from where he was sitting at Grian’s side, wing in lap.

“Oh! I was just watching.”

“Watching? From all the way over there?” Cub sounded amused, clearly unaware of the great danger here. Grian was laying face down, saying nothing at all.

“Yeah! Moral support and all that.” Scar gave his patented double thumbs up, though it didn’t seem to have any effect on Cub.

“I could do with some actual support. You don’t want to come see?”

“No thanks.”

Grian snorted while Cub scoffed, a sound that pierced the veil of Scar’s bleeding heart. “He doesn’t bite.”

“I do,” Grian lifted his head to say it and Cub pushed it right back down into the pillow.

“He doesn’t. He’s just itchy. You’ll make his day with a little scratching in the right place, he just melts into the floor. Just wait until we get him in the shower with the jets.” Cub tried a smile, but must have realized just how apprehensive Scar was when he didn’t budge, only shifting his weight from his place in the kitchen. The silence lingered long enough that Grian lifted his head, confused, but he let it drop again when Cub continued to work his hands through his feathers. “Let me show you how, at least. It’s cool, I promise.”

The urging, bordering on desperation, was what made Scar finally crumble. Cub wanted this, clearly he wanted this, wanted Scar to be part of it, and Scar would have trouble denying anyone in that aching state. Truly, Scar didn't know why this was so important, but the least he could do for now was to sit on the arm of the couch, cautious to keep some distance, but close enough to watch. Cub’s soft relief, radiant on his face, eased some of Scar’s anxiety.

From his perch Scar watched as Cub brought his fingers back to Grian’s wings, meticulous as he felt around the spiny little feathers. Grian relaxed under his touch, both of them quiet as Cub squeezed the spines, pulling the white bits away and revealing a brand new feather.

“These are pin feathers,” Cub said, like he knew Scar needed the reminder, “They grow in under this keratin bit, and when they’re ready it kinda crumbles off, leaving a new feather. Avians can do most of this by themselves, but molting is a bit more intense of a process when you lose so many of your feathers at once, and the parts where the wing connects with their back is a lot harder to reach. It’s nice to have a friend in all cases.”

Cub continued on, not looking at Scar as he worked. He was so gentle, touches light and calculated, never lingering. Even when he was brushing away the little white shards, he hardly touched the feathers, treating them as if each one might break with too much force. Scar was so enraptured with Cub’s hands, he hardly reacted when the other spoke again, fingers grazing a stubborn looking pin feather.

“This one’s not ready. If the shell doesn’t budge, don’t mess with it. Grian could use the reminder as well. He isn’t very patient, even when it hurts, so that’s just another reason why I’m here instead of him.”

Grian made some sort of grunt in protest, but stopped when Cub began to scratch an area of tightly clumped pin feathers, groaning into his pillow instead. The clear relief of the action pulled on Scar’s heart, Cub’s small smile doing him in completely. A mix of curiosity and longing pulled Scar from the couch, sitting with some apprehension at the tip of Grian’s other wing, though his hesitation melted at a soft, gentle glance from Grian, smile just visible from beneath the pillow.

“Won’t be able to reach me like that, Scar.”

“I wasn’t planning on it.”

Grian snorted, rolling his eyes before turning back to being face down, wing on Scar’s side lifting just slightly before flopping back down.

“Well, if you do eventually feel like helping, you should keep a few things in mind,” Cub hummed, casual, but there was a weight there that caught Scar’s attention. “Avians have backs and shoulders that are a lot more sensitive than ours. Don’t pet. It’s akin to the sensation you might have if I ran my hand right down the middle of your back, but more intense. More.. loaded, I guess. Like if I was running a hand down your thigh, y’know?”

“I- Oh-“

“Save it for the bedroom,” Grian mumbled, continuing on to say something entirely unintelligible before piping up, “or I’ll report you to HR.”

“I’m not going to touch you!” Scar squeaked with a small jump, maybe a little too defensively, because Grian looked up, confusion, or maybe concern etching itself across his features.

“I.. I know. I mean, you can, it’s not.. This isn’t the same thing. It’s like getting poked, or having a bug brushed off your back, or- I don’t know, humans don’t necessarily have an equivalent grooming activity-“

“Brushing hair.” Cub cut in, grabbing Scar’s attention back from sparks of fear, “It’s like brushing hair. Working out the knots, parting it correctly, having it cut or dyed or blow dried or braided. It’s like hair. Like family.” Scar blinked, shoulders slackening before he nodded, tension easing.

“Yes,” Grian sighed, relaxing again, “It’s like hair.” He paused, not taking his eyes off Scar even as Cub continued working on the right wing, which looked almost finished at this point. “Have you ever grown your hair out, Scar?”

“Uh, no. I haven’t,” Scar said, feeling awkward as he ran a hand through his own hair, thin and messy as it had always been, after the accident at least. (Easier to refer to a terrorist attack as an accident, better not to think of it at all.) He never liked his hair very much. Always hard to control, hard to hide. Stressful more than anything. He couldn’t imagine it long. “It’s always been short.”

“Mine too! Honestly, it’s unruly enough as it is, and flying would be a complete nightmare with it long and everywhere.”

“You could just tie it up,” Cub suggested, “Most do, don’t they?”

“Guess so. It’s a lot of hassle though.”

Cub snorted, shaking his head, “Every part of your daily routine is more hassle than I could manage in a lifetime. I can barely find the motivation to brush my teeth most mornings, yet you’re in the bathroom for hours.”

“Cub used to have long hair,” Grian flashed Scar a grin as he changed the subject, snickering when Cub groaned. “It was fantastic. You peaked in college.”

“It was not. I was experiencing free will for the first time away from home, and I made many mistakes.”

“Do you have pictures?” Scar perked up, Grian saying yes at the same time that Cub said no. Grian sat up to grab his phone, wings raising in turn with his excitement and hitting Cub in the face while feathers brushed past Scar’s nose.

“Oops,” Grian pulled his wings back in, though he didn’t sound very sorry at all, “Let’s see here..” he started scrolling, Scar peeking over his shoulder while Cub got to his feet, moving to sit instead by Scar’s side. Cub scowled as Grian let out a squeak of delight, practically shoving a picture of the two of them together in Scar’s face. It struck Scar how young they looked, even though physically Grian didn’t look very different at all- it was a change on another level, experience, new life lived, challenges overcome. Oh! And Cub had long hair!

“Look at you and your little bun! Oh, that’s so cute!”

“It’s not.”

“It’s adorable,” Grian sang, sighing as he flipped through other pictures, “It was hot that day, we were mini golfing in the summer, but I bet I have pictures with it down as well. Went just past his shoulders, it was great. Cub has great hair, it’s thick and it was so soft when he used to take such good care of it.”

“We have different memories.”

“Ah! Look! He let me braid it this one time-“ Grian proudly presented to Scar a picture with Cub in pigtails, looking just as unhappy as the present Cub was now.

“Cute!”

“Delete that.”

“Oh! Here it is long! We were bowling, us and Mumbo- Cub was the only one who could throw the ball straight. I told him Mumbo and I needed the bumpers, but he didn’t believe me. No men have ever done it worse than us, Scar, it was just gutter after gutter. We didn't even have half the points Cub did combined.”

“I don’t think I’ve been bowling,” Scar mused to no one in particular, but shrank in on himself when Grian jumped up.

“Seriously?”

“I- no-“ Scar shrugged to deflect the high energy, a little more uncomfortable when Grian’s demeanor changed from shock to.. Scar wasn’t really sure, though he looked uncertain, glancing away with wings tucked back, “I mean, I don’t think I’ve been mini golfing either, definitely not since- I mean, I guess I probably have a few times before college, but I don’t really count it.”

“You don’t count the first eighteen years of your life?” Grian snorted, failing to notice as Scar faltered and Cub tensed, “Not sure you know what ‘Never Having Done Something Before’ means, bud.”

“I.. Yeah,” Scar mumbled, Grian blinking as he noticed for the first time something was off, “Sorry.. ‘s just different.”

Gears turned in the few seconds of silence, Grian bringing a hand (clawed, sharp) to his mouth when he finally seemed to realize. “No- It’s fine, my bad. I wasn’t thinking.”

“It’s okay.” The silence was heavy. Then, out of nowhere, Scar felt like he was suffocating, sudden, like a train had crashed off the tracks and barreled into him head on. “I- ‘xcuse me for a minute. Just need some air.”

Scar never felt clumsier as he hurried to the front door, thrusting himself out of it while firmly keeping his eyes on the ground. Stairs had never been so uneven, but he wasn’t sure he could stand to take the elevator, to stay still for even a moment, to face anyone that tried to catch up with him.

Outside air was a blessing, the breeze a gift from the highest heavens, but still, Scar had little oxygen to breathe, little coordination of which to move, but there were no benches, so instead he stumbled his way to the rundown parking lot across the street, sitting on a curb stop at the head of one of the many empty spaces. Why was this happening? Why now? Why did everything have to be so hard so much of the time? Why couldn’t he just be normal?

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed before the shadow of someone sharp fell across the tar lot, long, imposing, snaking its way forward. Sharp feathers, talons, teeth, words that bit and snared and dark eyes like slits, wholly unpredictable and utterly terrifying on a good day, or maybe this was just a bad day and Scar’s world was too warped to differentiate. Either way, it was awful it was Grian. Where was Cub? Why did anyone need to come down at all, but out of all people, why Grian?

“Hey,” there were no hard edges when Grian spoke, sitting on the curb stop across from him at least eight feet away. If Scar could stand to make himself look up, he might see how Grian’s posture was low, how his wings were tucked tightly at his back.

“Hi,” was all Scar managed. Grian shifted his weight.

“Is something.. not good? Between us?” Grian paused as if expecting an answer, but Scar didn’t know what to give him. “I mean..” Grian continued in the lack of response, “It’s always been rocky. I know that. I know most of that is my fault. And I think- that isn’t to say- we’ve both had our moments, I think. I really- I think it’s safe to say we’ve both been hurt. And I know I’m a lot of the problem a lot of the time. I know it. And I’m sorry for it, I really am, I don’t think you deserved half of the shit I put you through, you really aren’t any of the things I thought of you- well, there’s more, at least. There’s a lot I didn’t know. I assumed poorly of you for a lot of the wrong reasons. I know it, I just..”

Grian paused for a long moment, longer than what was remotely comfortable, but Scar felt a little too numb to care or speak.

“I thought we were doing okay.”

Grian waited. Scar did not answer.

“Are.. are we not? Doing okay? I know I haven’t seen you in a week or so, but at work- HotGuy and CuteGuy I mean. It’s been great. I’ve been having so much fun, and you look like you’re having fun too. Is- is the teasing too much? I can dial it back, I just thought we were getting along, having fun with it. Are you not having fun?” There was a strain there, the kind that hurt a little too deep to ignore. “Scar, I need you to tell me if you’re not having fun. Please.”

“I’m- HotGuy- It’s fun. Work is.. it’s better than it’s been in years. Maybe it’s better than it ever was in the first place. There’s nothing wrong with CuteGuy.”

“But I- I am CuteGuy, Scar. I don’t understand. Is something wrong with me?” Scar did not answer, he didn’t know how, but the sudden intensity of Grian’s distress nearly folded his lungs over, “What’s wrong with me?”

“I don’t know,” the words fell from his mouth like a whisper, “I don’t know. I’m scared. I’m just scared.”

“How do I fix it. Please. Tell me how to fix it.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry.”

“I am. I think I lied to you. I think I said all these things about making this work, about making us work, and I want it, I want so badly to make it work, but everything about you is so sharp, and I can’t stop being afraid when you see me. HotGuy doesn’t care. HotGuy isn’t worried about any of it, but maybe that’s because it’s CuteGuy. I can’t stop being- I can’t stop splitting people up. I can’t just be one. I wish I didn’t care. I don’t want to care. I want this to work so badly-“

“Scar-“

“I don’t want to hurt you, Grian. I know I’ve gone and inserted myself and all my dumb problems into your life but I really- I never meant to intrude on you- I never wanted to hurt you! I just can’t stop lying-“

“Scar, you’ve made my life better!” Grian nearly shouted to be heard, to cut Scar off, to make himself be known. Quieter, he continued, “You’ve- you’ve made me better. You’ve challenged me, you’ve forced me to confront all sorts of nasty shit within myself, and you’ve made me better. And I-“ Grian stopped for a second, biting his lip hard as he glanced from his feet to the ground and back again, looking just about as lost and frightened as Scar felt.

“You’ve made me better, and along the way I think you paid the price for it. I think- I was so- I’m not a very good person, Scar, and you saw every nasty, ugly instinct I have in my arsenal, you’ve seen all of me, and you’ve- Micah- hurt me, but even then, you never wanted to. I don’t think you ever wanted to. You might’ve saved my life, then. Micah, you, whoever. Who knows where I would’ve ended up. But everything I’ve done, I only ever wanted to hurt you. Keep you away from me, from Cub. So I.. it’s okay. It’s okay, if you don’t like me. If you don’t want to like me, don’t want to hang out with me or touch my wings or whatever. It’s okay.”

Once again Grian waited for Scar to say something, and once again he couldn’t bring himself to. He couldn’t even find the words. In his absence, Grian continued.

“I know you know that Cub and I.. You can’t have him without me around. That’s not going to change, and I don’t think you could even dream of trying to change it either, you’re a good guy, I know it, but I.. For what it’s worth, Scar, I can try to stay out of your way. If you’re comfortable with CuteGuy but less so with Grian, then- I can try. It’s the least I can do. I think you’re good. You’re good, you’ve helped me become someone who’s a little more worth something than he was before, and I think in a way, you help Cub too. I bet a lot of people you meet are better because of you. And I- I really respect you.”

The silence was long. Grian might’ve been crying, but Scar couldn’t quite tell, he couldn’t tear his gaze from the cement. His mind felt like a whirlpool, and he was drowning in the middle of it. But he didn’t want that. He didn’t want Grian to dip out of his life forever. He just didn’t want to be afraid, but he didn’t know how, but maybe- maybe it was okay. Grian wasn’t angry that Scar had lied, or at least that Scar couldn’t will his body and mind to love him like he so desperately wanted. It was okay. It was okay.

“Grian?”

“Yeah, Scar.”

“Can we still be friends?”

“I’d really like that.”

#hermitcraft #grian #gtws #goodtimeswithscar #cubfan135 #hermitfic #convex #cubscar #hermitshipping #grub #desert duo #hotguy #cuteguy

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inbloomwriting · 1 year ago

Text

Everything to me - Chapter 1

Chapter one - Apple seed

Story Masterlist

Plot: Jamie Tartt is a lot of things: professional footballer, the island's top scorer .... sexually, extremly handsome. But one thing he never saw himself as was a dad. Too bad he has to deal with the consequences of his own actions. This fic follows reader and Jamie as they navigate life and turn from practially strangers to parents. Pairing: Jaime Tartt x female reader Warnings: Pregnancy, swearing, mentions of food and alcohol, slight mention of sexual intimacy (nothing graphic), strained/toxic parental relationship Notes: 5.8k words. I do not have a set uploading schedule. Please bear with me as I work on this story. I know hardly anything about pregnancy, all my information comes from google. Likes, reblogs, comments are all much appreciated. I am German. Sometimes I get the tense wrong or make mistakes. I am useless when it comes to punctuation. Go easy on me, please

"You never understood you're everything to me I just hope you know, the future in your heart Is just about to start"

The universe must be mocking her, (Y/N) is sure of that. This is all one big elaborate joke and any minute now Ashton Kutcher is gonna jump out from behind some bushes and tell her that she has been punkd.

She had a plan, all neatly laid out and organized. Blue ink on white paper in a fancy leather-bound notebook. Like a professional adult would do it who has their life all figured out.

Renovate the store and get it back up and running

Sell it for profit

Pay back Mum and get the fuck away from everyone and everything that has ever made her feel unworthy

That was the plan and she was so fucking determined to stick to it for once in her life. So this must be a prank. This must all be one big misunderstanding.

But it’s not a prank, is it? It’s the consequences of her own damn actions.

Her heart is racing as she climbs the stairs up towards Rebecca Welton’s office. Her legs and feet are heavy, like concrete. Why is being honest with your friends so damn hard?

It’s not just any friend either. It’s Rebecca. Rebecca who has always been in her life ever since (Y/N) was just a kid. Rebecca who is the only person (Y/N) ever looked up to. Why is being honest with her so terrifying?

You know why!

Yeah, (Y/N) knows why. Because she doesn’t know what she’ll do if Rebecca hates her for what happened. Of all the people in the world, she needs Rebecca on her side.

As she lifts her hand and knocks on the door of the office, (Y/N) wonders if this is what death row inmates feel like. Knowing the end is inevitable and it’s all your own fault.

“Come in”

Taking a deep breath, she opens the door and steps into the room. 3 pairs of eyes look back at her but really, the only ones that matter belong to the beautiful blonde sitting by the desk.

“(Y/N), Hi. What are you doing here? Did we have plans? I thought you went back — “

“Yeah I — no, we didn’t have plans.”

It almost kills her, that smile that Rebecca sends her way. The one that’s so warm and loving and that’s been a constant in her life for most of her childhood and teenage years coming from Rebecca. Rebecca living in that lovely white house next door with the rose bushes and the big windows. Rebecca who taught her how to do the perfect eyeliner wing, who passed down her coolest leather jacket to her, who held her hair the first time she got wasted and threw up in those very rose bushes. Rebecca who was the older sister she never had.

She loves that smile it used to bring so much comfort to her. Now it makes her want to die. The girl she used to be, deserved to be on the receiving end of that smile. She doubts she still deserves it.

“Can we—” (Y/N)’s eyes dart around the room towards Higgins, then towards the other man. He’s the American trainer, Ted. She’s talked to him once very briefly and he seems so — nice. Genuinely nice. Not for the sake of being perceived as a good person but because he just is. “— do you think we could talk privately?”

There’s a flicker of concern in Rebecca’s eyes and (Y/N) hates that she put it there.

“Oh, of course. Ted, Leslie, would you excuse us?”

Everything’s a blur. They leave and (Y/N) thinks Ted makes some kind of pun but she doesn’t really recognize anything but the racing of her heart and the sour feeling in her stomach. Oh, fuck.

Rebecca sits her down on the big couch by the window, the one that’s meant for personal talks, not business. She’s so nice. Oh, she's too nice.

“Are you dying?”

“I — uh, no.”

“Okay, good.,” Rebecca says letting out a sigh of relief. “Now that that’s out of the way, can I offer you some tea?”

(Y/N) shakes her head.

“Coffee?”

She repeats the motion

“Champagne?” Rebecca asks, a perfectly shaped eyebrow raised in question.

God, wouldn’t she kill for a glass of bubbly right now.

“No, I’m good. Can you just come sit down, you’re making me nervous.”

Not only does she sit down, Rebecca’s hand immediately finds (Y/N)’s, holding on warm and tight. It almost pulls an ironic scoff from (Y/N)’s lips. Mum doesn’t know but even if she did, she’d never offer this kind of comfort to her. She never did. So for a second, she lets herself relish in the affection. Just one second.

“Okay, now out with it.”

She’s rehearsed this conversation so many times in so many different ways. Like a school presentation. Meticulously planned. Even added in pauses for questions and shit like that.

All of that has vanished, her brain is empty, her tongue made of lead.

“I uh — look um. Do you remember when your dad died?”

Of all the ways she could’ve started this talk, this is probably the worst of them all. Who says things like that?

Rebecca seems a little taken aback for a moment before nodding her head and suppressing a slight smile, one brought on by the absurdity of the question, not by joy. “I do, yes. Hard to forget if I’m being honest.”

“Yeah, I would know.”

“Yeah.”

“So that night I was obviously very emotional because it reminded me of my dad and all of that bullshit.” Tears are already threatening to roll down her face, sitting on her waterline waiting for the right moment to strike. It’s impressive she still has any left to cry since that’s all she did the last few days.

“That’s understandable. Oh, please tell me you didn’t force yourself to come and relive all of your pain just because you felt like I expected you there? If I knew it was so hard on you I —”

This, all of this, is twisting the knife so much deeper. Leave it to Rebecca to search for a fault of hers in all of (Y/N)’s mess.

“No, Rebecca, it's nothing like that. I — I fucked up. I let it all get to me and because I’m, well — me, I got a little tipsy. Went outside to get some air and there was this guy. God, Rebecca, he had the saddest eyes. I just felt this weird connection so I sat next to him. We talked and talked and then ended up going to a bar and then to my place and then to my bed and well yeah.”

She giggles. Rebecca really has the audacity to giggle at that. In her defense, she tries to hold it in but it does slip out eventually.

“It’s not funny.”

“Is this why you’re upset? You slept with someone at, no wait, after my father’s funeral. That’s okay.”

“There’s more.”

"Oh, what is it? Was it a footballer?”

At the lack of a vocal response, Rebecca connects the dots.

“Alright. That’s — that’s not so bad. I was seeing a 21-year-old footballer. I don’t see what’s making you so upset about this.”

“I’m pregnant.”

“Oh shit.”

Getting Rebecca to swear was always something (Y/N) found a silly sense of pride in. Rebecca with her perfect hair and outfits and manners. It felt like something so alien to her and yet that was (Y/N)’s favorite version of Rebecca. The one that’s as messy as you and me even if it’s just for a second.

“Yeah, shit.”

It’s the first time she said it out loud. Rebecca is the first person to know, except for (Y/N) herself and her gynecologist. Her mother doesn’t know.

The father of the baby doesn’t know.

Just her and now Rebecca.

“And I don’t know what to do. This wasn’t the plan. Fuck — please don’t be mad.”

“Why would I be mad? ”

There is an infinite warmth in Rebecca’s eyes. A warmth she always longed for coming from her own mother but never received. A warmth that seems entirely misplaced right now.

“I fucked your employee. I used your dad’s funeral to make the shittiest of all shit decisions and now I come here unloading all of this on you because I, once again, don’t know how to get myself out of the hole I dug.”

Soft hands wrap around (Y/N)’s shoulder and pull her in. Rebecca smells like expensive perfume and hairspray. All comforting and familiar. It’s nice, (Y/N) thinks, that despite everything falling apart in and around her, there is at least one constant in her life.

“Were you really afraid of telling me or are you just afraid?”

She’s so smart and so observant, sometimes it’s infuriating.

“I’m so scared, Rebecca.”

Life doesn’t ask if you’re ready. It doesn’t ease you into things, slow and gentle. There are no training wheels, no floaties. Life happens whether you’re prepared or not. It’s nice to know that there are arms wide open for you to fall into, a hand to pull you out of the roaring sea as you’re just about to drown.

“You can always unload on me, you know that right? That’s what family is for.”

All the willpower to stay brave and collected and not cry, all that vanishes with Rebecca’s words. Family. They’re family. Maybe not by blood but definitely by fate. By choice.

Mum would’ve told her to suck it up, to stop crying, and to face the consequences of her own actions. Would’ve probably had an “I knew this would happen” or an “I told you so” on the tip of her tongue. There is none of that with Rebecca. She just accepts the tears soaking through her, no doubt, expensive blouse and softly strokes (Y/N)’s head.

For a long time, there are no words exchanged. Some moments ask for calmness not conversation. There’s something deeply therapeutic about crying on the shoulder of someone you deeply trust.

“Can I ask?” Rebecca inquires with a gentle voice just barely louder than a whisper.

She doesn’t have to elaborate. There are only so many questions people have after you told them you had a one-night stand and ended up pregnant.

“You’re gonna hate the answer.”

A laugh falls from Rebecca’s lips, her breath tickling the top of (Y/N)’s head. “Don’t tell me It’s Jamie.”

“Okay, I won’t then.”

“Oh, (Y/N).”

Where there should be disappointment in her tone, there is understanding, there is slight amusement but above all, there is deep and honest care.

“ Can you blame me? Look at him. He’s sculpted by the gods and something about that silly little accent does it for me. I hate to admit it, I truly do.”

“Does he know?”

(Y/N) shakes her head, guilt and fear coursing through her veins.

“I don’t even have his number. I know hardly anything about the guy other than that he’s a footballer, that his ego is huge, and that he likes to cuddle after sex.”

Rebecca’s eyebrows rise in surprise. “Does he? Huh.”

“Yeah, it was really cute actually.”

For a moment she almost gets lost in the memories of that night, however hazy they might be. Jamie was fun and to an extent he understood. And there’s nothing quite as sexy as a man who is just as sad and messed up as you. Is it healthy? Absolutely not but (Y/N) never claimed to have a particularly healthy view on anything.

“He works here, you know. In this very building. You can just pop down and tell him.”

The way Rebecca says it makes it sound so easy. Like it doesn’t come with a shit load of guilt and fear and embarrassment.

“Wait, I didn’t even ask and I just realized that’s very presumptuous and maybe a little rude of me — do you even want to keep the baby?”

That’s the big one. The question of all questions. It’s the second thought that came to her head when (Y/N) saw the two lines on that fateful plastic stick. The first one being “Oh fuck.” It’s the question her doctor asked. It’s in all of the leaflets and informational reading she’s been handed.

“I’ve never thought about it before. I mean sure I thought about some hypothetical future but those dreams always changed depending on my mood. Now I’m here and I need to make a choice and It’s — It’s terrifying.”

“But?”

“But I think I do want it. I think I want to be a — a mother.”

It’s a word that feels strange on her tongue, bitter and sharp. Like biting down on your cheek and tasting blood. Mother was never the warm comfort of a home. It was the cold hand on her shoulder, the icy glance of disapproval.

Maybe mother can be something else. Maybe she can turn it into something sweet.

“I’m just scared. This wasn’t the plan, not right now at least, and not like this. I’m scared of doing it alone.”

“What in the world does that mean? Alone?”

“I don’t expect Jamie to step up. I’d appreciate it, of course. But he has a brilliant career and so much going for him. Getting me, a one-night-stand, pregnant could ruin so much for him. I don’t ever want that.”

“No,” Rebecca says and cradles (Y/N)’s face between her warm hands “I mean, you’re not going to be alone. No matter what Jamie says. You have me. And I can guarantee you that there are at least 10 other people in this building right now who will also have your back. Whatever happens, I can promise you that you don’t have to do this alone. And don’t sell yourself short, you have a career too!”

Maybe the universe isn’t mocking her after all. And maybe this isn’t a punishment either. Maybe this is just life pushing her into the deep end. Thank god she has people to help keep her afloat.

(Y/N)’s eyes wander from the clock on the wall towards the door then back. Over and over again.

Every time the door opens and someone leaves the locker room, her heart speeds up. Maybe if she dies of a heart attack right here and now she won’t have to talk to Jamie. That sounds like the most reasonable reaction. Anyone would agree. Right?

The boys all regard her with a sense of cautious familiarity. They know her face, know they’ve seen her before but can’t recall where much less put a name to her.

Well, all of them but Sam. He greets her with that big signature smile of his, so full of joy and sunshine. Calls out her name and asks her about her day. Rebecca might have a point that there are more people here that care about her. Their conversation is brief but there is no doubt in her mind that if she were to call him any time of the day, Sam would drop everything and help her out. That’s just the kind of person he is.

She wonders if that’s the kind of person Jamie is.

Another glance at the clock. 2 minutes pass. The door opens once more.

Jamie is smiling when he steps into the hallway. His hair is wet, probably from the shower, and held back by that silly little headband of his. He’s wearing a ridiculously bright orange hoodie and obnoxious colorful sneakers. Everyone else would look absolutely ridiculous in this get-up. Jamie makes it work. It must be some kind of superpower.

Or maybe he’s just so unfairly fit that it doesn’t matter what he’s wearing. Even naked he looks phenomenal.

Stop thinking about him naked, that’s what got you into this mess.

“Oh, hi!”

He’s so nonchalant, so casual when his eyes meet her’s across the hall. And really, why wouldn’t he be? What they had was casual. A one-night thing, no strings attached. Just two slightly broken people finding solace in each other. That was all it was supposed to be at least.

(Y/N) feels the weight of the secret resting so heavy on her shoulders, she’s sure she’ll collapse underneath it any second now.

“Jamie, hi. Uh — can we talk?”

“Sure, ‘bout what? Are you pregnant or something?”

He says it with a smile, not giving a single thought to the fact that his joke might be no joke at all but the honest to god truth.

(Y/N) on the other hand, feels like someone doused her in ice water, just poured it all over her. Her hands are clammy, breathing shallow, heart racing. Maybe she’ll get that heart attack after all.

When she doesn’t answer, doesn’t laugh, Jamie’s eyes grow wide in return. Though his reputation might make you believe otherwise, he’s quite quick in putting two and two together. At least in this situation. He doesn’t look happy, that much she expected, but he doesn’t look upset either. He just looks shocked. There is nothing but pure disbelief on his face. The cocky smirk has dropped, now his mouth is opening and closing trying to produce words as his head is trying to process the information he just figured out.

“Do you want to go discuss this somewhere more private?”

Of all the places to tell someone they got you pregnant, the hallway at his workplace might not be the more desirable.

A pale-faced Jamie nods his head, his eyes distant and glassy. She knows the feeling, has been there just a few days ago. That’s his whole life playing like a movie in his head right there, now with added scenes of a small child with his eyes. Oh god, she hopes the baby gets his eyes.

Jamie drags her into a small room off of the main hallway. Cubicle cupboards line the walls, filled with shoes and boxes. Orange and bright green and yellow. Every possible color of the rainbow, they have a pair of shoes to match in here. The smell though? The smell has her gagging. Sweat and cold cigarette smoke. It’s disgusting.

“Oh god, Jamie. This is disgusting.”

“It’s the boot room. ‘s where we keep the boots — and people come here to smoke.”

“They come here to smoke? On purpose? Like they chose to spend time in here?”

Jamie absentmindedly nods his head. He’s so pale-looking (Y/N) fears he might just pass out any minute now.

“Jamie, are you okay? Do you want to sit down?”

His eyes start to focus again, looking straight at her. He’s terrified and quite honestly, she can’t blame him. Confusion and fear are all she’s felt for the last few days. A bit of excitement too, sure. But mostly the first two.

“Yeah. No. I mean yes. I guess? No. I — fuck.”

Nervously he combs his fingers through his damp hair as if to calm himself down. Is that something his parents did to him when he was a kid? A motion of comfort? There is so much she doesn’t know about this man. If he decides that he wants to stick around, can this ever work? Can you raise a child with someone you hardly know and not completely fuck them up?

“Is it mine, then? Are you sure about that?”

“No, I just like going around scaring people into believing they got me pregnant. Yes, Jamie! I am 100% certain.”

His hands fly up in defense “Jesus, sorry. I don’t know your sexual history. You had sex with me after a funeral, don’t know how much you get around, now do I?”

She had expected him to ask if it’s his, hell anyone probably would, but there’s something about his tone that is just so off-putting. The accusation that swings along with his words. The judgment. As if he is in any place to talk.

“Oh get off your high horse, dickhead. We both made that decision after the funeral. Didn't hear you complain. And out of the two of us, It’s not me who fucked a girl in a hot tub on national television. Eurgh”

“You alright?”

“No, this room is making me gag. I assume this is bad under normal circumstances but this pregnancy situation has my sense of smell going through the roof. This is killing me.”

“Well, why didn’t you say nothing?! We could’ve gone somewhere else.”

“I just wanted to — eurgh— I just wanted to get this over with.”

“Let me get you out of —”

“No, let me just say this real quick and then I’m off.”

She’s prepared this speech a million and one times in a million and one ways. It always worked out fine but then again, her audience was just her cat and the mirror. Having Jamie look at her, a mix of concern and shock still on his face, that’s a whole different story.

“I am having this baby and I would like for you to be a part of their life, but I accept if you say no. Just know that whatever you decide, that’s final. I can’t have you running off and then coming back in a few years regretting your decision and wanting to be a parent after all. And I most definitely will not allow you to say you’re in and then give up on the baby halfway through. I had a parent like that, I will not have my child go through the same thing. I don’t need your decision now just — make up your mind and make sure you’re 100% certain. Here uh— “

Trying to hold her breath so as to not breathe in any more of the foul smell, (Y/N) rummages through her purse before pulling out a small piece of paper.

“They don’t usually do ultrasounds that early but I made friends with the nurse as I was waiting and they allowed me to get one and see the baby. Don’t really see shit on here if I’m being honest but apparently that blob is our child.”

Jamie takes the picture, his eyes moving between the image and back to her, down to her stomach then back to the picture. It’s like his head and his eyes are trying to cope with the fact that there is a real baby growing inside her. His baby.

“I just thought you might want to have this, if not just throw it away. I’m not trying to manipulate or guilt you into anything. Let me know when you’ve made a decision. You know where I live and Rebecca has my number just ask her for it — I gotta get out of here. Eurgh.”

And while an overwhelmed Jamie sinks to the floor of the boot room, ultrasound picture clutched in one hand while the other nervously combs through his hair, (Y/N) throws up in the bin by the front door.

There are 3 things (Y/N) knows for certain. One of them is that Michelle Pfeiffer as Stephanie Zinone in Grease 2 is the coolest person in the world. The second one is that decaf coffee kinda sucks. And 3 is that whoever is knocking on her door at 9:15 tonight, disrupting her rewatch of Grease 2 better has a good reason to do so if they want to keep their head attached to their body.

Slowly she’s dragging herself towards the door. Today was exhaustion enough both physically and mentally, she really doesn’t need the stress of an unannounced visitor. Not when she’s dressed in an old, oversized Hardrock Cafe shirt, bike shorts, and those ridiculous yellow slippers she got on her last trip to Disney that look like Minnie Mouse’s shoes.

“I’m coming, Jesus — “

“I don’t know shit about babies.”

Jamie looks different as he stands before her on her front steps, hair messy and flat against his head, wearing a big grey sweater. Gone is all the charming confidence and the mischievous smirks. He’s all sad eyes and shy smiles. He reminds (Y/N) of a sad, beaten puppy. She almost feels bad for him. Almost. That’s until the words that just fell from his lips really register in her mind.

“You could’ve just texted me you’re not interested. Didn’t have to come here, really.”

“What? No, I am! “

“You just said —”

“I said I don’t know shit about babies. Cause I don’t. But I’m not gonna run off.”

“You won’t?”

Jamie has never looked so genuine, so serious as in that moment and it sends a weird feeling through (Y/N). She didn’t have any expectations in him. You can’t really have those if you don’t even know the person. Sure, she hoped he would take interest in her and the baby but things truly could’ve gone either way. To hear him say that he wants to step up and be there, that’s a feeling she can’t really put into words.

“Can we uh — can I come in? Your neighbor is staring at me.”

(Y/N) opens the door to let Jamie pass before leaning outside and facing the house next door. Sure enough, old Mrs. Hartley is standing by her window, eyes trained on (Y/N)’s front door. Jesus fucking Christ, do these people not have their own lives?

The small pink couch looks even smaller with Jamie’s broad frame perched in the corner. He’s holding onto the fluffy white pillow as if he needs some kind of buoy to keep him afloat.

“Do you want tea or something?”

“Do you have beer?”

She only raises an eyebrow in response and points to her stomach.

“Right. Pregnant. Forgot about that for a second, sorry. “

Oh, the privilege of getting to forget about that.

“I have water, ginger ale, and apple juice.”

Jamie screws his face in repulsion. If there is one thing she’s learned about Jamie Tartt in the limited time they’ve spent together, it’s that his emotions are always so clearly reflected on his face. She’s not sure he knows exactly how expressive he really is.

“I’m good. Here, I actually brought you some stuff.”

As she sits down on the couch next to him, Jamie holds out a Tesco bag to her filled to the brim with stuff.

“What’s all this?”

He looks bashful, almost shy as he shrugs his shoulders nonchalantly.

“Just some stuff for your nausea. Google said anything ginger helps so I got these lollies. Also sour candy and crackers. Not sure if it works but I felt so bad seeing you earlier and knowing it's kinda my fault, innit?."

It's such a sweet sentiment that (Y/N) can feel the tears gathering on her waterline. Maybe Jamie is the kind of person she can call when in need. Maybe he can become that person.

"That's very sweet Jamie, oh there's more."

It's a small box with two even smaller socks, so tiny it almost seems impossible that a human being can have such small feet.

"Saw them and couldn't stop thinking about how cute they were and then I couldn’t stop imagining our baby being so tiny and wearing them and, yeah.”

“They’re adorable, Jamie. Thank you.”

His words wrap around her heart like vines. Taking root. Blooming.

“Our baby”. The thought of having a baby is still so foreign to her. Her own baby, her child. Hearing Jamie call it theirs sends a flutter of feelings through her. Their baby. Part her and part Jamie.

“So what I meant earlier is that I don’t know shit about babies. None of my friends have babies, I have no siblings and all my cousins are around my age so I never really had experience with babies. I know they’re cute and I know they poop a lot. “

“They are pretty cute.”

“Yeah, and our baby?” he says and motions between the two of them “‘s gonna be the cutest fucking baby of all time. It’s genetics.”

The matter-of-fact tone in which he says it pulls a laugh from (Y/N). He does have a point though.

“I am not going to lie, I'm extremely unprepared for this. For being a — a dad.”

There’s a bitterness there, a heaviness. Maybe Dad is as sharp and as cutting a concept to Jamie as Mum is to (Y/N).

“Don’t have a dad. Well, I do but he’s right asshole, isn’t he. So I got no idea how to be good at this, had no one to show me. I’ll try though. I want to be different. I need to be. Promised myself when I was a kid that I was not going to be like him, ever.”

“I understand that, trust me Jamie I really do. But I need you to be sure that you want that. I don’t want you to stay around because of some misplaced sense of duty. I want you to want this.”

"Didn't think I did. When you told me and you gave me an out I wanted to take it. But then I kept looking at that picture, can’t make out anything on it by the way but that doesn’t matter, I kept looking at it and that part of me. That's my baby and I couldn't live with meself if I gave up on it. On you. A lot of people have given up on me in my life and I resent them for it. I can't be the one giving up now, can I? I'm better than that."

She doesn't even realize the tears have found their way out until Jamie's face fills with concern. "Oh no, I didn't mean to make you cry or nothing."

"They're happy tears, I think. I'm really scared, Jamie. Knowing that I don't have to do this all by myself, that helps a bit."

"I promise I'll try to be the best at this. I'll even rub your feet if they're hurting and I fucking hate feet."

Leave it to Jamie to put the humor back into even the most serious and tense of conversations.

"You don't have to rub my feet, that's okay. I do think we should get to know each other better though, now that we're gonna be raising a child together. I know hardly anything about you."

"Uh, you know plenty about me. You know I'm fit, obviously. You know I have great hair. I'm good at football, fucking ace actually. Also sexually."

That little shit has the audacity to wink. it should be annoying. It's weirdly charming though.

"And now you also know that I'm gonna try my best to be good at this. Hey, when the baby is here can I get one of them kangaroo pouch thingies and take them to training with me?"

"Kangaroo pouch? You mean a baby carrier?"

"Yes, that! Strap it to my chest while I do my warm-up."

"You are not taking our baby to training with you, are you insane?"

"I'm joking, Jesus. Would look fucking cool though, maybe get us matching sunglasses. Hats too. Baby icon."

"Oh my god, you know what, maybe this is a bad idea after all."

But it's not, she doesn't mean that. Jamie knows it and (Y/N) knows that he knows. For the first time since those two lines appeared, it feels like she can breathe easy again if even just for a moment. Things will be hard, no doubt but at least she can share it with someone. And it's just an added bonus that someone never fails to put a smile on her face.

"What are you watching there anyway?" Jamie asks, nodding his head towards the tv.

"Grease 2."

"They made a second one? Is it good?"

"No, it's terrible. I love it."

"See," Jamie chimes up, a small genuine smile.on his lips "learned something new about you. The mother of my child loves bad movies. This getting to know each other plan is going so well already."

And while it is a joke, there's also a flicker of truth to it. It's the little things that make us who we are. Like our love for bad movies or our desire to be better than our parents before us.

"Do you wanna stay and watch it with me?"

"Can we start from the beginning?"

"Obviously"

"Then yes! Give me one of them ginger lollies please."

They spent the next few hours watching Grease 2 followed by the first because - well it's just right to watch them both, really. It doesn't feel forced or awkward. This is not two strangers trying to bond for the sake of their child. This is a genuine friendship in the making. It feels wonderful. They exchange numbers, birthdays, favorite colors. It’s all very superficial information but it’s a start and it’s easy. This whole situation is hard enough, sometimes easy is just what you need.

The clock says 12:03 when Jamie decides it's time to go home.

Just as he is about to leave, one foot already out the door, he turns back with curious eyes.

"Do you know how big the baby is?"

"Uh, no. Pretty tiny I think."

"They didn't tell you what fruit size?"

"Fruit size?"

"Yeah like, it's as big as a strawberry now or something."

(Y/N) shakes her head in response "I think they mostly do that in American movies."

Jamie looks deflated for a fracture of a second before he lightens up again and one of those rare smiles takes over his face. The one that makes him look so boyish and excitable. Like a fucking golden retriever.

"That's okay. I'll find out."

"You do that. Let me know what you find. Have a good night Jamie."

"You too!" Then his eyes move to her stomach "And you too baby."

God, he can be so adorable it's absolutely sickening.

As she lays in bed, (Y/N) thinks back to just the night before. To the anxiety and the fear. To all the what-ifs that ghosted through her head. That seems like a whole lifetime ago and even though a lot of those fears are still present, they get overshadowed tonight. By the knowledge that she's not alone. And by the absolute sunshine that is Jamie Tartt.

Just before she closes her eyes, her phone dings with a notification.

Her hand comes to rest gently on her stomach. There’s no change there yet, absolutely no sign of a baby growing in there at this very moment. And yet she knows and that makes all the difference.

In a voice, soft like silk, she whispers “Daddy says goodnight”. It’s cheesy, outright sickening but in the dark of the night, who is there to judge her for it? Sometimes you have to let yourself be ridiculous and cringy if your heart demands it.

That night she doesn't fall asleep to fear and anxiety. That night she falls asleep with a smile on her face.

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