sadoldfairy

[sadoldfairy]

I want to cry so bad but I don't have the time.

[sadoldfairy]

I want to crack my head against the wall .

[sadoldfairy]

I want to scream and scream until I lose my voice.

[sadoldfairy]

I am drowning..

And I don't know what to do..

What is right and what is wrong....

Should I swim to the surface..

Or should I sink to the deepest pit of despair ...

[sadoldfairy]

Fariha Róisín, How to Cure a Ghost

[sadoldfairy]

a cat: *touches me with its small hand* me: *eyes tearing up* thank you

[sadoldfairy]

I am so tired that even breathing became too much for me..

[sadoldfairy]

me: we have… a Problem

my shit brain, immediately: What If You Died! That Would Fix This

[sadoldfairy]

im a triple threat

codependent, clingy, and constantly upset

[sadoldfairy]

god the loneliness of young adulthood is so real

[sadoldfairy]

I am lost.. And I don't wanna even be found.

[sadoldfairy]

Ever cried in your bed curled up in a ball because you’re alive and can’t die?

[sadoldfairy]

i can’t get angry at you, so i just get angry at me 

[sadoldfairy]

just because YOU don’t understand the way I feel doesn’t mean my emotions are invalid

[sadoldfairy]

FREE ME!!!!!!! Idk from what...I just want to be free from literally everything

[sadoldfairy]

I'd be lying if I said I don't miss them.. I miss them like crazy, I miss us eating together and laughing too much until our faces hurt, I miss opening up to each other about all of our secrets and struggles, I miss playing video games with them and waking the whole house up, I miss everyday calls, I miss that finally I felt like I could connect with someone who really care about me.

And now I am all alone.

[sadoldfairy]

Everything started in 2015, now it is 2022 and I am still stuck there in Feb 2015 and I can't get out..