#but what i Do think is that fanart and analysis of art are staring to blend a little too much and that the former is hurting the latter

[fountian-of-youth]

Welcome to the fountian of youth project !

Here you will be meeting Entity/z- 013253 -

Case file here

Badges

Bad end file here

Mantis allo!

Timeline info

Ascended form

Cons of immorality

And appearance insert here

His room /kitchen area

This is a rp blog drama , action or friendly conversation are very much welcomed !!

Of course if you wish to talk to the doctor you can !

Dr. kraken , the founder of fountain of youth and one to have created the serum allo was injected with .

Insert image here

Case file here

Bad end file here

Ascended form

Kraken lore (updated )

Kraken's analysis

Rules

° you must be strictly 18+ to interact with this blog since it will dive into very serious and adult topics by that like murder , gore and trauma of any kind

° for the love of God pls keep things fucking sfw. I will not fucking stand straight up NSFW questions regarding pregnancy and weird fetishes

° keep things mostly in the pressure world pls I don't mind other random questions but I'm getting tired of thinking how things would work. Pose it as games only.

° joked are jokes but if I do much see another joke disguising a kink you are getting blocked , yes even evil gays have a line they won't draw and shockingly there a real person controlling this (I have cursed knowledge of forbidden things do not make me have a flash back )

° please don't control my OCS feelings or actions (unless your Melinda ) and generally be respectful cause they are my oc only I know their reaction

° I have a busy life so pls don't spam me with ask or tags , I'll reply in my own time but if I do forget pls do tag me or remind me in dm ! I'll try to respond as best I can

° I'm ok with hurting the two and trying to kill them since allo's immortal and kraken kinda a cyborg but don't go too far that or borders healthy obsession

° I don't mind fanart or art in ask! Pls send it helps me picture the interactions better

°other than that you're good to go ! If you want to discuss plots and ideas for our chats/rps dm me! I love to plot and go into character development!

Additional stuff

@creator-of-creativious is my other main blog where I'll post art or random posts not related/ related to this account

I'll be using hashtags to keep our rps in like of these : #fountainofyouthproject, allo, allo nanol , Dr. Kraken .

He will also talk in orange text so it be easy for you guys to read and spot while Dr. Kraken will have red text and white speech

I'll use your OCS and your username as tags as well so you can see it

With that over ask away !!

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For allo

A kitchen hidden away and set in a more secretive part of the hadal back site. A hoodies figure is walking about sorting throughout items and spices seemingly absorbed into his work.

His hands are nimble and gentle when picking or setting and his tail and wings indicate he's isn't human anymore. Is he trustworthy ? Or is he an enemy ?

Do you approach?

=================================

For dr.kraken

He was stationed in his usual spot working away in the lab he pretty much claimed it for himself. He didn't like working with anyone and he certainly wouldn't like someone like you walking in to order him around .

His tendrils whipped about the room to grab what he needed gasping items or tools to get his work done. A sadistic glee shining in his eyes.

Do you choose to be civil ? Or snippy ?

===============================

Bad end allo

Shifting in the encloser of his cell a massive creature stared at the doorway that was the only access to the cramped space. Hollowed glowing eyes staring forward at the cursed opening. He didn't like being trapped . He hated it actually he wanted this to end - who was he ? That caught him off guard....who was he ??.....

He stopped thinking when he snapped his head and stared down at the person that dared enter the cell he was trapped in. A snarl ripping through his throat

(for mini bad end picture he was cat sized and your expendable / entity runs across him in the halls because he escaped )

===============================

Bad end Dr.kraken

You were running down the halls shaking and panting as the second breeched happen (your either a scientist or expandable ) shaking as nee entities or old ones captured were out again and causing havoc.

You turned and tried to run avoiding anything but stopped with wide eyes as before you stood a large albino like creature with a razor sharp smile.

Do you flee ? Or beg?

[hellonerf]

suicide is discouraged in the workplace

im not even gonna try to be coherent here. this is not an analysis post i am braindead. if i was a better artist makima wouldve been my muse when i was deep into chainsawman. actuallt she kind of was but i pussyed out

OK everyone here can subconsciously understand this connection. dont get too hung up on makima's strong motherhood theme and i just thought about what if ame was motherly and i couldn't kill myself right aftee thinking that as i have no means to it. that was a joke its late and im just me. i decided i wasnt a fan of motherly ame though so all suicidal thoughts erased. i am really chill now

old makima fanart i drew that im trying not to rip my hairs out over thinking about it with ame. also dont worry if this makes tou find my mainblog or main accounts whatever

actually theyre really different in many ways now that im looking at these. ame is so much of a son and makima is so much of a mother its like oppsoite spectrums. but thay makes the commonalities fun actuallt. i keep thinking about the movies and makima hating bad movies. ame is not an art kid by any means does he even care of the beauty of the world? i doubt it. but he likes bad movies and he likes cheap entertainment so who knows... they'd disagree on that. well i think makima's opinion on that was pretty extreme so i think most would disagree with her really

i could imagine ame going "Chainsawman. Doesn't spit." and smoking for the first time to look cool like in movies only to pathetically cough. thats their common trait... artifice... humans... but in a way that loops back to being Really Human i guess. holds a kind of arrogance and hubris that is so associated with humanity. it cant be anything else. ame should kill himself i think he should get moments of clarity and awareness and want to kill himself rqlly bad

both concepts of control. awesome. SUICIDE IS NOT ENDORSED IN THE WRKPLACE. ame goes to protestant church once or twice and sleeps because hes useless. makima is baptised and goes to local catholic churches not the cathedrals she supports the local christians.FUCK i just remembered the country mouse city mouse thing. ame is a liar and hates everything and loves everything and never feels content. i like to imagine him as a country mouse so fucking bad i want him to chill out one day and go to those middle of nowheres i know exist in america(can i shove cana in here and get away with it). why are they in the city if they are country mice? because..... you know..... you understand..... another w for eternal unhappiness (refer to title of this post)(suicide is discouraged in the workplace)

they are evil bosses i am the employee and when i ask for a break they gaze at me with a vacant stare and smile and i know in my heart they are viewing me like i am beneath them. i get scared and run away but truth is they didnt hear my request. they do not register individual people

if they met they would know immediately and viceversa. because everyone knows subconsciously because lying is futile and everything melts away. ame:i know a toxic boymom when i see one... okay im kidding makima is a toxic boymom if u push the chainsawman in ur head 🙂 ame as a kind of control devil works inmy head. i really believe ame was a polite child but demanding in many ways. sincerely wanting.

ame:gun devil i'll give you one year of the lifespans of the american people. in exchange i want you to kill makima—that is... the control devil (i never got around to drawing this)(ame and gun devil can you imagine)

or:gun devil i'll give you one year of the lifespans of the american people. in exchange i want you to kill alfred f jones—that is... the united states of america (paradox)

throughout all this i wanted to cite the best makima artist in the world ever but i'd feel bad if they wouldn't want to be associated with evil hetalia america blog. also i want to be normal and not cringe at being cringe just becayse i think makima was a thunderstrike of genius that i shouldn't taint. ame is a more flexible character to me for obvious reasons. this is how i'd shove ame into makima's role. but u couldn't put makima as ame. only one way. im okay with that. concept idea consensus words fear control blablabla u get the point i hate using words dont care sleepy now

[jrooc]

Thanks @callivich for the questions the tag (and @mybrainismelted💕)! Do I want to talk FanFic and Gallavich? Always!

What’s a fic you’ve read more than once?

So many 😅

Old Rules for New Sidepieces

Cassanova Catering Conflict by HorrorBusiness

And some cathartic ones like:

Ian Gallagher is a Haunted Man by Lalablowlooza

Lately @sam-loves-seb's Loving you With No Conditions

2. What’s a gifset you always have to reblog?

The dock scene. Mickey's Mickey-ness

3. What’s a headcanon you can’t stop thinking about?

Ian play-what-cool Gallagher. Mickey having a lot of kinks. Bisexual Carl.

4. What’s a fanart you love looking at?

@sweetperversiongirl's art or there's a couple images by @steorie that I just stare at sometimes

5. What’s an idea you’d love to create if you had the time/inspiration?

A magical story where Mickey is a witch ✨

6. What’s something you’ve discovered since entering this fandom? A new trope you love? A different analysis of the show? Something else?

Soulmates. I love the magic/creature stories too which I didn't think I would at first.

7. What’s your favourite season? And has this changed after multiple rewatches of the show?

S4. Mickey's growth is everything in this season.

8. What’s a plot hole you wish had been answered or resolved?

Yevgeny! Why do they talk about kids in S11 and just not mention him? Drives me crazy they would drop such a big plotline and be like this is okay!

9. What line/dialogue/description from something else (a poem, a book, a tv show, a movie, or something else) do you feel describes Ian and Mickey’s relationship?

But in a solitary life, there are rare moments when another soul dips near yours, as stars once a year brush the earth. Such a constellation was he to me.  - Circe by Madeline Miller

Tagging @such-a-barbarian @ian-galagher @francesrose3 @energievie @michellemisfit @i-think-you-mean-reduction @meagaboooo @skylerwinchester @stocious @mmmichyyy @transmickey @softmick @bawlbrayker @deedala

Come play with me (if you want)!

Original Questions

[becca4leafclover]

Kinda thinking of making a place for a fan community but instead of making another Discord server people join and gets a ton of bloat and not much interactions and information goes into the void, what if I made like a forum. A website forum! Like in ye olden days! People don't need to join a server to attempt to find a community that may or may not be dead with the pressure to be active, they can passively view if they want and make a super simple account (for verification purposes) to comment or post. Or maybe only need an account after 5 replies or smth like that. And I could set up optional email announcements for go live/video posts/announcements, and separate notifs for stuff for the site so ppl don't get spammed if they just sign up for content notifs and don't care about the forum site [stares at Discord servers that do that]

Idk I know it'd probably never do well because of tosay's Internet usage but I hate joining 1001 Discord servers and having to pretend to be interested the server's specific branch of community but I can't leave because I want notifications I don't really get otherwise. Plus I saw a post that described the rise in requiring Discord servers to get information instead of having basic information and troubleshooting on a website as "an information black hole" that got me thinking about doing this anyway. That was in the context of programs and software and stuff but I feel like fanart and theories and analysis fall into a similar mindset too. That's a big part of the appeal of Tumblr after all! Posts still circle from a decade ago there's very little that when in the right hands and interests, is ever truly dead. Applying that to a fandom as a creator-to-be seems like a decent idea? It's combining the things people like about Discord servers, feeling more closely connected to a creator and community and art, with the longevity of interactions on Tumblr, and you could even throw in Reddit's formatting of tags and categories (since it's a little better than Tumblr's sometimes when labeled well) to really make things appeal to individual users who want to interact however they see fit

[songbird-sunrise]

Ooc: Hmm you don’t have to answer this publicly it can just sit in your ask box or something else I don’t mind.

I havent actually been following songbird!wilbur for a significant amount of time, really, the impact was being friends and sometimes friends of friends of people who were running the anonverse and bedrock verse. I feel like I’m overstating my connection, I’m often just following bloggers who are friends with the rp ers, and they are some of the most passionate people they’re totally insane and I love being witness to it

hell, I only started following a couple of months ago, and I didn’t even see whatever meat of conflict that has happened. I’ve just watched it unfold on my dash whatever’s been happening. I don’t think I’ve even sent in an ask.

so that’s to say, I have such a lack of connection to this story, no complex history, no deep understanding, which makes it so much more impressive that the little parts I’ve seen are so emotionally beautiful to me. Even just like the blog header. I’ve been hearing about this story for so long that part of it is the thrill when I do figure out something that’s happened

but more of it? Maybe even most of it? Is because of how much dedication and soul has gone into this story. There is a reason that so many people are passionate, there is a reason that some days I see more fanart of songbird on the dash than like cwjlbur or ccwilbur combined. Because you have made something exquisite with this story and what an honour right? To bear witness to it, even this late, even this far behind.

I think the message, the little scraps of it that my colander brain (system lol) can pick up and I think the message of that. Getting better. Finding community and trust. Finding yourself. I think it’s wonderful.

(What’s embarrassing is that i am for all intents and purposes a fake fan </3 not caught up on any lore I just stare at your header and feel Emotions, so all of this could be entirely 10000% wrong which is why it’s a bit of a like… maybe don’t publish it but perhaps I deserve public punishment for being a clown on anon and sharing emotions)

so yeah uhh you’re amazing I love your rp character and I hope to one day be one of the people posting about them when a particularly cool thing happens. I thank you and applaud you for the amount of work that you have put into this story. Good job. Happy new year to you and happy new year to songbird!wilbur too.

what an exquisite thing I get to see, what could I feel other than honour.

-rib

OOC: Ohhhh my god. oh wow. oh holy shit. this is like the sweetest thing I've ever gotten wtf

usually I don't get very sentimental on here ooc but hey. I'll do it for today

it's been a bit rough writing on songbird-sunrise lately. Nothing I write feels good, and it all feels like such a chore most days. But hearing that you, someone who only recently got involved, loves this silly little character I've made so much absolutely warms my heart. It reminds me of why I do this in the first place

songbird-sunrise is, in a way, my love letter to the dreamsmp and c!wilbur. I know you said your analysis on songbird's themes was probably wrong, but you're actually completely right. We want to show the messy, complicated, hard, and beautiful parts of healing and finding yourself. And the fact that it's conveyed to you without even seeing everything is just. fucking amazing. it's nice to have a direct reminder that I'm actually good at what I love to do for lack of better words

all this to say, thank you. thank you for sending this ask, and thank all of you out there. Whether you're an old fan, a new fan, someone who sends a lot of asks, someone who likes to lurk, someone who makes art, analyses, all of you. thank you, and I promise that there are still some big things planned. The journey of healing is never over, and really, songbird!Wilbur is just beginning :)

-holly and wilbur

[gffa]

I swore for about ten entire minutes that I wasn’t going to do a set of recs for THE OLD GUARD, I was just going to watch the movie, indulge in a bit of fanart, and then I would be done. But then I was like HOW ABOUT I HAVE SOME FEELINGS INSTEAD? and here we are. So HAVE SOME FEELINGS ABOUT ANCIENT IMMORTALS AND REASONABLY ANCIENT IMMORTALS AND BABY IMMORTALS.  COME YELL ABOUT FEELINGS WITH ME, FANDOM. THE OLD GUARD RECS: ✦ An Unrecorded History by xpityx, joe/nicky, 1.1k    Joe closed the book and dropped it none too carefully on the table. He would have liked to have thrown it away—to prevent anyone else from reading it—but it was far too easy to make copies of books in these times, so he knew it would be no use. He also could not quite bring himself to discard something as precious as a book, no matter how poorly written it was. ✦ keep yourself alive for me by retts, joe/nicky, NSFW, 1.7k    Nicky grabbed Joe’s hand and pulled him towards the stairs, not that there was any resistance from Joe. ‘If I remember correctly, this one has two bathrooms, doesn’t it?’ ✦ let’s give them something to talk about by lacecat, joe/nicky & andy/nile, nsfw, 4.8k    In which Nicky and Joe take liberties with recounting history, because it’s fun. ✦ Family Dinner by dadvans, joe/nicky & nile, 2.4k    The only time Nile ever sleeps a full night and feels remotely part of herself is when she stays with Nicky and Joe, who shampoo brains out of each other’s hair in the shower and clean their guns on the couch watching Chopped reruns. ✦ one burning candle, one wind-whipped flame by Dialux, joe/nicky & andy, 5.1k    Yusuf dies, and dies, and dies, and lives, as well, for a thousand years. Nicolo’s by his side for all of them, and it’s not quite the love story of eternity, but it’s theirs: and that’s enough for them both ✦ Future Days by maroon, joe/nicky & andy/noriko, 2.1k    “Then why untie me?” The man grins, terribly amused, and awfully affectionate. Andromache wants to look away, but for some reason, can’t. Maybe because the look in his eye reminds her of herself, a lifetime ago. “Because my beloved is soft, and kind, and will flay me alive if he’d known I tied up a woman.” ✦ Islands of Hours by RC_McLachlan, joe/nicky, 1.5k    There eventually comes a lull, and so they go to Malta. ✦ take out by j_gabrielle, joe/nicky & nile, ~1k    It probably should bother her when Joe kicks the door to the flat open and promptly marches in to deposit their takeout on the living room table. All while he is tracking half-dried blood and mud on the shiny tile floors. “You, ah,” Nile says even as she hurries to pick through the night’s offerings. “They let you on the subway like that?” ✦ all a smooth plain, and the soil deep by inlovewithnight, andy & nile & joe & nicky, 2.1k    After London, they all need to rest. ✦ we are golden by retts, joe/nicky, ~1k    Joe lowers his gaze to the open page on his lap. The sketch is of a man on a charging horse, hair and beard whipping in the wind, sword in one hand and a shield in the other. The eyes in the drawing are the same eyes watching him now. His Nicolo. 'You were a hard fucker to kill back then, Nicky.’ ✦ An eagle’s old age, a sparrow’s youth by BakedAppleSauce, joe/nicky, 2.2k    Joe comes shuffling back into the room, heavy footsteps that mean he’s either tired, or not really trying, or both. Familiar as breathing. Nicky’d recognize him anywhere, walking among a million of strangers. In which some people are laying low for a while, in more ways than one. ✦ A Most Forgetful Death by RC_McLachlan, joe/nicky, 1.2k    “You’re an incurable romantic,” Nicky says, and though his expression doesn’t so much as twitch, Joe can hear the laughter languishing between the words, can feel it on his tongue and rubbing up against his teeth when Nicky meets him halfway to smear a kiss against his mouth. ✦ Luce e ombre by sheafrotherdon, andy & nile, 1.2k    The discomfort is so new that it startles her, and she searches her memory to remember a time before she was immortal: a time when a cut, a scrape, a bruise hurt for longer than a moment, long enough to interrupt sleep. The memories don’t come ✦ When I Am with You by takethisnight_wrapitaroundme, joe/nicky, NSFW, 5.4k    “You… would like to waste a thousand euros’ worth of champagne by pouring it all over me?” Nicky has to repeat it aloud to make sure he’s heard right. While spending some quality time together on vacation in France, Nicky has a surprise for Joe. And Joe, as it turns out, has a surprise for Nicky. ✦ the common tongue of your loving me by spokenitalics, joe/nicky, NSFW, 1.4k    “It’s just— Do you ever wonder how much we’ve forgotten?” Nicky asks, eventually. “How many names and faces and places have just… faded away from our memory?” ✦ i have loved you for a thousand years by owilde, ~1k    It’s him. Again. Yusuf shields his eyes from the blinding desert sunlight, staring into the near distance where a man is stood, alone, a harsh silhouette cut against the bright blue sky and peach-coloured sand. ✦ this is why by retts, joe/nicky, 1.2k    Small as it was, they had their own room in the London safe house, which was a good thing because Joe was prying open Nicky’s mouth with his fingers. Not with his tongue, much as Nicky would prefer it, but with three calloused fingers sneaking inside his lips as if Nicky wouldn’t wake up from the intrusion. He was on his back, Joe pressed closer to him than his own shadow. The slant of moonlight from the window illuminated Joe’s dark eyes as he bent over Nicky. Joe sucked in the corner of his mouth, a tell that he’d never shaken off all these long centuries. ✦ I Found Peace in Your Violence by j_gabrielle, joe/nicky, 1.5k    5 Times Joe and Nicky kill each other + 1 (of many) times they killed someone together ✦ life is very long by kaydeefalls, joe/nicky & andy & nile & booker & quynh & copley, 7.1k    Andromache tells him: “The Greeks used to have seven different words for love. Well. More, probably. But I remember seven.” She shrugs. “There are many ways to love one another, and life is long. We’ve time enough for them all. It’s the only thing that makes it worthwhile.” Nicky and his immortal family, over the centuries. ✦ take a breath by BeStillMySlashyHeart, joe/nicky & andy & nile & booker, 1k    Once they are safe, Nicky and Joe take a moment together. ✦ Between the Hour and the Age by hauntedjaeger (saellys), andy & nile & joe & nicky, 2.5k    “To the Art Institute of Chicago,” Andy echoes, “so that my breasts may be culturally appreciated in perpetuity.” She tips the bottle and lets out three drops. As they fall to the stone floor, Joe and Nicky rap their knuckles on the nearest pieces of metal: the other lantern for Nicky, the oxidized helmet for Joe. One rap for each drop. In another time, they might have struck their swords on shields. ✦ how we live by retts, joe/nicky, ~1k    Life, though, brings pain. Goddamn pain. Bullets that struck his cranium and pelvis – the big bones in the body – are forced out. The rest went through him, carrying organ tissue and muscle with them. Those lost bits have to be regrown. Bones realign and the ribs in his lungs retract so they can breathe again. So Nicky can breathe again. And when he breathes, he thinks, Yusuf. ✦ Paradeisos by Enneara, joe/nicky, 2.9k    Traveling through Greece with Yusuf after fleeing the Holy Land, Nicolò suffers a crisis of faith. ✦ The Language of Love by 1derspark, joe/nicky & andy/quynh & booker & nile, 4.5k    Or five times Nicky hears Joe speak his language and one time Nicky returns the favor. ✦ Le Vite by ScribeofArda, joe/nicky & andy & nile & booker, 8k    Nicky breathes out. “What did I miss?” he asks, staring out at the hills. “Why didn’t I see this coming?” After everything, after finding Nile and losing Booker and Andy’s new mortality, Joe is pissed off. Nicky is just tired. ✦ The god of my idolatry by Petra, andy/nile, NSFW, 3.4k    “You said you were worshipped as a god.” “I was.” Nile steels herself and asks, “Would you like to do it again?” Andy laughs and throws back the contents of her glass. “They don’t teach you pick-up lines in the Marines, do they.” ✦ love is not over by retts, joe/nicky & andy & nile, 1.3k    'Babe, do you know what this reminds me of?’ asked Nicky. Joe licked his lips and tilted his head to the side, gaze intent on the mole on Nicky’s cheek. 'What?’ 'The first time you drew me.’ ✦ Case Analysis by skeeno, joe/nicky & andy & booker & copley, 3.4k    It’s not totally out of the ordinary for the people Copley meets in his line of work to be extraordinary. But he’s intrigued by these four. ✦ compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience by Jack_R, joe/nicky & andy & quynh, 11.9k    ‘You are a shame to your countrymen and the lowest of the low,’ Yusuf said, ‘and your mother copulated with a dog.’ ✦ Everything in moderation (even moderation) by BakedAppleSauce, joe/nicky, NSFW, 6.1k    The novelty has worn off, of course, but it’s not the novelty that keeps anybody coming back, anyway. Novelty never sustains anything. ✦ What the Water Takes by xpityx, andy & nile & quynh, 1k    Here is a secret she will never write down. ✦ Stracciatella by ScribeofArda, joe/nicky & andy & nile, 4.8k    “None of us have any evidence of the ways we have died,” Nicky continues. “But you remember the fall, don’t you? You remember the first time you died, the way your blood spilled out as your throat was slashed. I remember the first time I died, when the love of my life drew his sword across my neck as I drove mine into his chest and we both fell to the sand.”

[misdre]

misi's beyblade AUs masterpost

i like making AUs, i have many of them, here's a post of them from oldest to newest. (at least approximately) (the ones that got no art of them have photos from unsplash. i just enjoy setting the mood)

⸻⸻⸻

Magical boy AU takao is an ordinary middle schooler who one day gets dragoon the magical spinning top from a cute little azure dragon, seiryuu, and transforms into a magical boy to protect the world from evil for some cosmic reasons that i haven't come up with yet. the rest of the characters have similar powers from their holy beasts and takao needs to gather up his team to fight the evil and. you get the drill is there art of it? yes 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 is there a fic of it? no note: i originally created this just because i like designing the outfits so i haven't planned the story much (this used to be my main focus but then 4kingdoms happened GJSDHGHSDG) i'd want to though, i'll get back to it eventually...at some point...... one of the charm points of this AU is that the holy beasts are these digimon-like animals that hang out with the characters and each have their own personalities.

Fairy tale monster AU takao and gramps live in a cabin in the middle of a forest full of monsters and takao decides one day to venture out to look for a silver-haired boy he once saw, he meets up with the other BBA characters one by one in the grim woods. is there art of it? no is there a fic of it? yes note: my oldest halloween fic. the characters are all these different cute spooky creatures and it's intended to sound like a fairy tale.

One day, he determined that the time was ripe: Takao decided to leave for an adventure. For his grandfather was old, it was not at all unusual for him to lay down to bed before sundown. Once the hut had fallen in drowsy silence, Takao packed his one and only bag with what little he felt he needed, took his cap and jacket, and stepped over the doorsill. He had left the safe warmth of the hut behind.

Royal fantasyverse AU (the tale of four kingdoms) takes place in a fantasy universe with four kingdoms (east, west, south & north) created by the four holy beasts, in an era where each kingdom happens to be ruled by an exceptionally young king due to their respective circumstances. when the four meet for the first time, a snowball of events is set in motion that's going to affect all four kingdoms. is there art of it? yes 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 is there a fic of it? yes 1 / 2 note: like a period drama with magic and gay and tons of worldbuilding. probably has way too many mysteries for the boys to solve because i have no self control when it comes to creating twists. this is The one AU that i have crammed every usable canon character into, i need enough people to inhabit four fucking countries

After creating the four lands, the holy beasts created people to inhabit them. Because the beasts were celestial beings and couldn't but guard people and the world they lived in from far above, they needed human vessels to lead the four nations. Thus they created four kings who would rule over other people using the four beast’s powers. The four kings were neither human nor gods, but something between – they were messengers, or icons, of the four holy beasts.

Omegaverse AU a canon divergence AU (i guess??) where genders are replaced by A/B/O and everyone being either canine or feline. max is a late bloomer canine and finds out he's the only alpha of the BBA boys thanks to a certain feline omega. is there art of it? not really but i do have dog boy max and cat boy rei art (which are a bit too cute for this kinkfest. i mean they're obviously aged up for the real thing.) 1 / 2 is there a fic of it? it's been in the works for like, five years but i always shy away from finishing it note: it's omegaverse, it's exactly what you'd expect. the smut is so filthy i've been too embarrassed to even post it. hiromi is also an alpha by the way

Coffee shop AU highschooler rei goes on a venture to hit on a local Hot University Teacher and coffee shop owner judy in a cafe owned by her, ends up receiving a bunch of flirty cups of latte from barista max working there. is there art of it? no is there a fic of it? yes note: i mean, rei being into blonde MILFs is pretty much canon

Now that Rei looked at the boy more carefully, he realised his hair was just as fair and eyes just as blue as he knew Judy Mizuhara's to be. Maybe they were related? It wasn't that strange if Judy had hired a relative's kid to help out at the shop, right? He certainly looked American, but he had spoken Japanese. And then, all of a sudden, the boy turned to look back to him. Startled, Rei blinked his own golden brown eyes and shifted them back to his now empty cup. God, it was rude to stare at someone, wasn't it? He'd been too deep in thought to even notice doing it. Not that the boy had looked judgmental – he only seemed to wear a smile.

Soulmate AU max keeps having dreams with peculiar scenarios about a boy named rei. one day he borrows a book on soulmates from hiromi and finds a chapter talking about meeting your soulmate in the realm of dreams. is there art of it? no is there a fic of it? yes note: i don't even care for soulmate AUs, this was my own dare to myself to find a single soulmate trope that interested in me enough to write a thing of it.

Max was walking through a crowded airport, carrying a heavy backpack with him. He had never been to this airport in his life, but somehow he knew exactly where he was, and where he was supposed to go. And he was in a hurry, and Rei had at some point emerged from the crowd, as usual, keeping up with him without bumping into any of the people that should have blocked his way. “I'm sorry, this is probably my fault,” Rei said. “I haven't even travelled in ages anymore, but these dreams just keep coming back to haunt me.”

Chess player AU rei is a young chinese chess champion participating in the world junior championships, ends up falling for the american chess prodigy max somehow in the process and is determined to get to play against him again. is there art of it? no is there a fic of it? yes note: so this is one of the weirder ones i've done. it was inspired simply by me having a very vivid mental image of a scene of them playing dramatic chess together. this is probably my most underrated AU even by myself, i think the writing is pretty solid for such a short story of a topic i know practically nothing about

As a child, Rei had initially been taught to play xiàngqí, a Chinese game much more popular back in his home country; but chess with its refined, uniquely shaped pieces was love at first sight for the young Rei. He was a fast thinker and had amazing concentration skills once he set his mind on something, and he also had an outstanding memory, making it easy to memorise game patterns he once saw and then use them for his advantage. This all granted him natural talent in chess. But despite his skill, he had a bad habit of easily losing his temper and becoming indecisive once his focus wavered. Also, he was just a tad bit too sentimental. These traits often became his worst enemy in important matches, much worse than the actual opposing player. Keep your cool. Focus. Play well.

Flower shop + fake dating AU yuriy doesn't really know anything about flowers but is working part-time in a flower shop for the easy cash. he keeps getting a pair of weird customers who ask about flower language for hypothetical situations. is there art of it? not by myself and i don’t have a link to the fanart made of it unfortunately is there a fic of it? yes note: did i write this for valentine's day? i feel like i maybe did. this is my only AU (and fic in general) so far that's about a non-BBA character as the main lmao

“So, I need some advice for a particular situation,” the customer then began, idly tapping the counter with his hand. “I mean, not a real situation, of course – hypothetically speaking, if someone was just pretending to be going out with another person, but they weren't really going but it just needed to seem that way to everyone else, what kinda flowers would get the message through?” Possibly an idiot, Yuriy concluded his analysis. “So you need suitable flowers for a date,” he stated, shooting his eyes at his notes about common flower-usage.

Classical music AU (the heart that i love) max is a piano prodigy attending a classical music college that holds annual music competitions for the students. he's got some haters for being the son of a world-known pianist who's one of the teachers, but he also ends up having a budding romance with rei the mysterious chinese violinist. is there art of it? yes 1 / 2 is there a fic of it? yes note: the origin of this was my "max and mao are besties" college AU. then it got mixed in with my thirst for classical instruments and max being bullied.

Max isn’t exactly a synesthet, but he has always been able to see music as pictures – as entire sceneries, as great adventures. This tendency of his emerges especially strong whenever he’s learning to play a new piece on the piano; as he moves along the melody, the scenery is also being built around him like a jigsaw puzzle, creating a complete picture piece by piece; and once he has mastered the song, he’s able to freely traverse and immerse himself in the world inside that puzzle. Some pieces have a more relaxed or soothing scenery than others, some are exciting and thrilling – even deliciously sinister in the way that a good horror film can be. Setting himself down in front of a piano is always an invitation to a world of his choice.

Bakeneko AU after moving to a small rural town in japan, max hits his head and starts seeing things, such as a weird white cat following him around. after a while, he's convinced that he's being haunted. is there art of it? yes is there a fic of it? yes note: another halloween AU, a more surreal one where max is human and rei is. well. not

Max kept walking, his eyes still on the narrow road. He hadn't noticed while deep in thought, but it really was quiet that evening. The sun had nearly set by now, leaving the sky striped with the dusk of the approaching nightfall. There was no wind to rustle the treetops, no birds chirping, nothing. Only the sound of Max's own footsteps on the pavement, and the matching sound that followed. Followed. What if someone actually was following him? A sudden, violent chill struck down Max's spine, causing his hair to stand on end. He stopped. After a short delay, the steps also stopped.

Genderbend AU a canon divergence AU where everyone's a different gender from canon (duh). starts off as an alternate version of the g-revolution world championships where the girls meet for the first time and befriend each other. rei is a professional model in addition to being a blader in the baihus, and max from the PPB is delighted to be able to battle her. she has no idea that rei has fallen for her at first sight, though. is there art of it? yes 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 is there a fic of it? it's... in the works. note: i created this because i wanted to design attractive girls, what about it. absolutely partial to maxine's huge badonkadonks.

It wasn’t like Rei hadn’t already taken notice of her before, given that they were participating in the same world championship tournament, but the real turning point was the first time they stood on the opposing sides of a bey stadium. It was the day when the match-up roster signalled the match between the Chinese team and the American team, the Baihus versus the PPB All Starz; and despite both teams consisting of five players, it came down to, to Rei’s immense joy, the tag team of Rai and herself against the two most interesting US players, Rikki Anderson and Mizuhara Maxine.

Vampire & merboy AU rei is a starved vampire just about to end his own life when he meets merboy max at a forest lake. is there art of it? of max yes is there a fic of it? yes note: yet another halloween monster AU, this time they are both monsters though. this one’s a pretty grim one i have to admit

Rei succumbed into deep thought, considering his few options, when something grabbed his unsuspecting hand. Something yanked him forward in one mad splash and forced not only the rest of his arm but also his shoulders and head underwater. Half a second later Rei, so badly startled that he’d come close to slipping into insanity, found himself staring at a pair of bright blue eyes only inches away from his own face. His other hand and lower body still firmly on land, Rei pulled himself back with strength that he didn’t even know his weak body still contained. As he did, he also pulled up whatever was clutching his hand, which turned out to be another hand – a white hand with elongated, dirty fingers, so sharp at the tips that they looked like daggers.

Mafia AU max is the boss of the BBA mafia family, rei is a hitman and max's right hand man, the rest have various roles in the organisation. salima, mariam and some other girls (at least) are reporters doing investigative journalism on organised crime who get interested in covering the story of a group of russian elite detectives doing a thorough investigation of the BBA. is there art of it? of rei and max yes 1 / 2 / 3 is there a fic of it? it's in the works but it's just a gratuitous reimax smut note: this is a story i wish existed but this kind of police investigation action thing is so not my genre of expertise. that's why i'm just doing a PWP of my boys and the rest exists on conceptual level

“Did you know,” Salima said, perfectly peppy about it, “that there are secret underground auctions for stolen artwork that’s sold in the black market? Not just online auctions in the dark web but actual, physical events held somewhere in the city! Isn’t that so intriguing? Can you imagine how an event like that would look like, Max?” Max can – in fact, he doesn’t need to imagine. But he’d rather not think about it; the memories bring the familiar taste of bile in his mouth and make his gut curdle with a mixture of disgust and very particular guilt. The mere thought of it makes him set his coffee aside and bring a hand between his tightly shut eyes.

⸻⸻⸻

the next thing i come up with? who knows............

[hello-nichya-here]

Zucest - Is It Really Flirting?

(Originally posted on AO3 as chapter 43 of Defending and Analysing Zucest)

@azdaema-does-art asked: So I think a big stumbling block for me with this ship is that I very much adhere to the reading of the show that holds:

Quasi-Seducer!Azula (as seen virtually anytime) and Quasi-Seducer!Zuko (as seen in "The Waterbending Scroll") are not actually expressions of desire from them. Rather, this is Zuko and Azula trying to be intimidating by modeling their behavior off their father (circling, personal-space-invading, low seductive tones, etc)

When actually trying to flirt neither Zuko nor Azula acts anything like that. When Zuko goes on that date with a girl in the Earth Kingdom, or Azula flirting with that guy on Ember Island, they're both awkward disasters.

I'd be curious to hear you address this. (Or point me to some awkward disaster!zucest fanfic.)

***

That is a really good point and I'm glad you brought it up. While I understand that reading of the show, I disagree with it slightly for a few reasons (beyond my own bias).

Need to be in control: No one can argue against the fact that neither Zuko nor Azula know how to have "normal", healthy relationships with others, mainly due to how unequal 99% of the relationships in the Fire Nation are since imposing your own will over someone else's has become part of their culture. Both Zuko and Azula accepted being treated like mere tools/punching bags by their father, Zuko was constantly insulting Iroh over the smallest things and Azula full on threatened Ty Lee's life to make her join her on her chase after her brother and the Avatar - both were scenarios where desire wasn't a factor at all (thought I know many fans that would like to think otherwise XD)

However, during The Beach, we saw how both of them try (and fail) to deal with romance. Zuko was extremelly paranoid that Mai was interested in another guy, for no real reason, and was constantly trying to intimidate her into either admiting to it or into saying she disliked the guy, even though she had clearly said she was completely indifferent to him. And Azula, after her kiss with Chan, decided, on her own and not giving a damn about his feelings on the matter, that not only would they be officially a couple, but that they'd dominate the earth together. Control is, more often than not, a major factor in all of their actions and relationships, so Azula wanting to intimidate Zuko in the bedroom scene (which she very much tried to do and succeeded at) doesn't automatically rule out the possibility of atraction.

Mixed feelings: While "I wanna fight/kill my sibling" is sort of these two default state, there are moments that show that they do have at least some positive feelings for each other. Zuko doesn't give a shit that Aang is going to kill Ozai, but seeing Azula falling "to her death" and then chained up and defeated after their Agni Kai quite clearly made him emotional, even if he tried to control himself. Azula's positive feelings for Zuko are so obvious I had to do an in length discussion of it in chapter 12 "Is Zucest just about sex?" Combine all of the conflicting emotions they have for each other with their need to control the other, and some scenes end up getting some connotations the writers weren't planning them to have... supposedly (I'll get into that in a bit)

Awareness and familiarity: Don't get me wrong, Zuko and Azula are two extremelly traumatized, socially awkward teenagers who have no idea how to flirt (or how to fit in with people their age) but we also need to take context into consideration, especiall when it comes to Zuko's date with Jin and Azula's interactions with Chan.

In Ba Sing Se, Zuko was outside of his comfort zone, away from home, in enemy territory, and so paranoid that he assumed Jin came into the tea shop so often because she knew they were Fire Nation, not because she had a crush on him or simply enjoyed their tea. And while he liked her and the date was nice, Zuko was very "stiff" and even looked a bit uncomfortable (not to say very uncomfortable) at some points - which is oddly simmilar to how he was acting during the bedroom scene (hell, Azula was quite clearly looking at him just like Jin did, as I pointed out in "The most important parallel in Avatar"). Finally, we cannot forget that, even though he was awkward as fuck during 90% of the night, Zuko did manage to do something kinda romantic by lighting up the place, meaning he isn't completely oblivious to the concept of flirting (which is proved by his relationship with Mai).

Now, when it comes to Azula, the poor girl has almost no idea how to flirt. Almost. Talking about Chan's sharp outfit shows she's got some of the basis down, like "say something nice" - the problem is that her concept of "nice" is very different than that of most people. She did sort of know what to do once Ty Lee gave her some tips... but she quickly reversed back to her regular ways - which once again shows that flirting/seduction has an element of control and intimidation for her. She probably doesn't always mean to act in ways that could be considered flirty, but that doesn't mean she is completely oblivious to the implications of, let's say, invading her brother's personal space and talking to him in a low tone while wearing nothing but a robe.

And since I mentioned Azula going back to what she knows, that leads us to another thing to take into account: the fact that Zuko and Azula quite literally knew each other their whole lives - meaning if they were to ever flirt with each other, it would probably look at least somewhat different than when they were out of their element. Azula was the one in control, so she was far more comfortable and confident than she had been with Chan, and Zuko was the one being intimidated, which explains why he kept his guard up. Once again, that "theory" is sort of confirmed if we compare how Zuko acted while flirting with Mai on The Headband versus how he tried to interact with her in The Beach - when he used a non-traditional, but very Mai-esque "You're so beautiful when you hate the world" he got her equivalent of an "I love you" when she told him she didn't hate him, but he tried to do more "normal" things like getting her a pretty shell it blew up on his face. He knows Mai since they were both kids, meaning he usually knows how to deal with her, just like Azula usually knows how to deal with him.  

Intensity: While a lot of Azula's behavior can be explained by her copying Ozai, we need to remember that there's only so much he could affect, especially since her way of "intimidating" Zuko was far more touchy and incestuous than his, and lasted a lot longer. Azula gets close to people when she's intimidating them (see how she toyed with Aang in The Drill), but not as close as she did with her brother. The sole exception to that being Sokka on The Day Of Black Sun - but that is on somewhat shaky ground despite the accidental sexual tension since the first time she got close to him she was being launched by the Dai Li and he just happened to be standing a little bellow the direction she was launched at, and the second time had him pinning her to the wall (which is in character since Sokka usually goes straight at his foes to intimidate them while fighting), and as soon as she had her firebending back she pushed him away. On top of that, she was trying to distract him, Aang and Toph, meaning he wasn't her focus at all, and she ignored him on all the other times their groups were facing each other.

With Zuko on the other hand, she was going full force, like I said on my analysis of the bedroom scene. She played coy, stared at him in a very intense, weird way, circled the pillar on her bed, stretched in front of him, got on his personal space touching his shoulder and chest, and bit her lip while talking basically purring her words. That is all a bit too much for me to believe it was just about intimidation. And the touching gets even more suspicious when you notice Azula does enjoy and is willing to give physical affection - she hugged both Mai and Ty Lee after seeing them again, pulled Ty Lee close while conforting her and apologizing for her harsh words at The Beach... and put her hand on Zuko's shoulder while saying he restored his own honor to reassure him after he was feeling bad for betraying his uncle.

Intention of the actors/writers/animators: Avatar is no stranger to parallels. It also isn't a stranger to adult themes/jokes, fanservice, and ship teasing. For instance, even thought they didn't end up together and were never canonically interested in each other, there was A LOT of hints/teases of Zutara - dude fucking took lightining to the heart for her.

Just like the writers and producers were aware of Zutara, Tokka and many, many other ships, they were also aware of Zucest and even jokingly shipped Azula and The Blue Spirit at a panel. The animators habit of sexualizing the characters speaks for itself, so I won't even go into that. Finally, Grey Delisle, Azula's voice actress is a Zucest shiper, has brought it up many times, asked people to send her fanart and fanfic of it, created the phrase "Zucest is best cest", and has full on said she voiced the scene as if Azula was trying to seduce Zuko,  - which regardless of whether or not the writers intended for the character to be doing, means that there is a very strong incest subtext to the scene and that, in a weird way, "Azula" herself confirmed her motives to act the way she did.

[mahou-goth]

Today is the 2nd birthday of my art blog! Maybe this is sort of silly, but I've been reflecting a lot lately, so I'll probably get rambly and sappy and serious and other bullshit. Under the cut!

TW: suicide ment, parental death

I remember when I was in early high school I was always kind of in awe that people could get so invested into something that they'd make fanart for it constantly. I'd see it a lot! But back then my hyperfixations would only last a couple weeks before I got tired of it and moved on to something else. There was never anything consistent enough that I'd want to draw fanart, even back when RWBY first came out it was the same thing. I'd be obsessed for a while! And then move on.

But two years ago on a whim I decided to make this art blog. I was honestly so sure that I'd start it, get tired of it within a couple weeks, and ultimately just delete it. But I actually got involved with the community! I saw so many amazing and inspiring artists! I read fun theories, fanfics, ideas, analysis, etc! Before long RWBY became a staple in my life. I related to a lot of the characters and their struggles, especially Yang. And with the hope of Bumbleby becoming a real possibility and being so well written, I was hooked. In the summer of 2018 between volumes 5 and 6, I lost my dad. He wasn't my biological father--that man left me when I was very young. I don't even remember him being much of a presence in my life aside from the very rare times he's visit for a couple hours. For a long time I wanted to have some sort of a relationship with him, but he let me down time and time again with false promises. He added me on Facebook a couple months before my dad died, and I remember just going off on him about how I felt. After so long of wanting him to, y'know, be my dad, when he came to me that time I was just done. I told him how I felt and that was that. I had a dad, you know? So when James, my dad passed it just felt really unfair. 15+ years of wanting a father figure in my life only to finally find someone and then have him taken away so unexpectedly. It's like a cruel joke.

During that time, RWBY became a distraction. Volume 6 teasers started popping up, the fandom was becoming more active again, it helped a little bit. I think the worst of it was right around when volume 6 was probably about halfway through. Grief really fucks up a lot for you. I became a really angry person, I isolated myself from friends, told everyone multiple times there was no way I'd be able to support anyone emotionally, and I left some awful friendships. Even my girlfriend at the time, who knew what this sort of grief was like, tried to hold on to me so tightly that it's ultimately what ended up pushing me away even further. A lot of things just kept going wrong. I remember being downtown by the river one night cause I wanted to get away from everything for a bit, and I just really missed my dad. I missed him a lot. The thought of "If you miss him so much, why not just join him?" ran through my head a lot, staring at the water. It was a little scary.

As stupid as this may sound, clinging so much to a show, "I want to know what happens next." was the simplest response that kept me going. Seeing a new episode every week and then coming on here to see all the new fanart, the wild theories and analysis, all the way down to the smallest things that likely didn't mean anything. (Like Blake taking One Whole step closer to Yang when they told everyone Oscar was missing.) That goofy excitement and seeing so many happy posts made a lot of the grief bearable. It was my first time having to deal with such a life changing loss, but RWBY and its community softened the blow a little, and I'm really grateful for that.

I think some people don't quite understand that. My ex got annoyed that I just wanted to watch RWBY, read stuff about it, draw for it. I tried to explain it to her a few different times like... why I wanted to focus on it so much, and she'd understand for a while. But she'd always get frustrated again a few days later. I tried to do the right thing and break it off a couple times because I just wasn't able to maintain a relationship, but it just sort of... kept dragging on before I finally put my foot down and called it quits for good.

On the other hand, others did understand why RWBY was so important to me, and still tried to chase me from the community anyways due to some issues with my platonic partners coping in unhealthy ways with trauma. (That was a looooong talk with them;; but it all turned out okay and they're doing better.) They knew all of this. I was really scared for a while. Not that I'd lose followers or that people blocked me, I didn't care about that. I was scared that I'd lose the only way I've found that's helped me cope with losing my dad.

I knew grieving was a hard process, but I never thought it'd be so difficult for others to let me grieve. And for me to let myself grieve. Maybe it's dumb to rely so much on a show to help me get through the hard days, but if it helps me that's all that really matters. Volume 7 will be here before we know it and I am beyond excited. Regardless of how much shit people have tried to throw at me and how cruel others are, a lot of good has come from it too. I've experimented more with my art and have tried to improve in areas I've always been too nervous to try cause of how bad I am at them. I've made some really awesome friends!! And I hope to talk to more people and possibly collab with artists! And! I reconnected with an old friend who is now my girlfriend by getting her into RWBY, and of course the bees. :P

I feel like this whole post is a big jumbled mess, but really I'm just so beyond thankful for this whole community. I'm thankful for the people who enjoy my art and continue to support me and I'm grateful for all the fun content people make for it, from fanart to analysis to shitposts. It's all helped me so much.

It's been a really wild 2 years and I'm stuck in this fandom for a long time. Nothing and no one will change that. ♥

[rayraywrites]

Title: Love Letters

Characters: Sawamura Eijun, Miyuki Kazuya

Relationship: Miyuki Kazuya x Sawamura Eijun

Rating: General Audiences

Total Word Count: 1383

AO3

Gift for @akocchi on twitter

Summary: “It is incredible how essential to me you have become.” || Trieste, 1926; From Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf.

Inspired by: fanart & letters between Vita & Virginia

“...Damn you, spoilt creature; I shan’t make you love me any the more by giving myself away like this—But oh my dear, I can’t be clever and stand-offish with you: I love you too much for that. Too truly. You have no idea how stand-offish I can be with people I don’t love. I have brought it to a fine art. But you have broken down my defences. And I don’t really resent it …

Please forgive me for writing such a miserable letter.

V.”

----

Tears built up in his eyes as they tracked each loving word of the letters lying in front of him. The brushstrokes of each alphabet left his heart aching. The way the women loved each other, in secret and in the open. He felt it deep inside his soul as his fingers brushed tears away from his eyes, and the way his hands trembled as they carefully tucked away the letters back inside the book. They were only photocopies, images of the original letters sent by two beautiful creatures to each other, pining alone in their mutual love, but yet he wanted to honour them – he was careful. 

He was sitting inside his room, lounging comfortably on the floor with all his books and notes spread around him. But rather than focus on the analysis of Woolf’s Orlando he needed to complete, he found himself whimpering over letters. 

When he closed his eyes, he could see the words etched on his eyelids. The one line that had brought him to tears initially reverberating in his mind as if it explained everything about him. And perhaps it did. Vita’s agonizing words painted a picture of his pain, even when there was no reason for his emotions, no comparison to the heartbreak she went through, she and Virginia. 

“It is incredible how essential to me you have become.” 

As he packed up his things, giving up on writing his analysis that night, his hands brushed the book once more. Surreptitiously glancing around, as if he didn’t know he’d been alone for a few hours, he thought that maybe he could put down his feelings the same way she had. Pulling out a blank sheet of paper, the other hand reaching for his wayward pen, he tried to compose a letter that would depict his emotions in the same way they did.

“Sometimes, when it’s late at night and the moon is shining bright in the dark sky amongst the twinkling stars I sit outside on the field. On the mound, and I stare at home plate as if I can conjure you up, crouching behind the plate with your mitt at the inside. I can imagine your eyes gleaming behind your mask, and the smirk on your face as you await my pitch.” 

He paused his writing, feeling the blush that bloomed across his cheeks begin to spread down his neck and up his ears. He could feel the heat from his face and had to stop writing simply to try and fan his face down. With an embarrassed giggle, that he tried to suppress but ultimately failed, he focussed back on the letter. 

“But though we both may love baseball, the thing I like more, the moment that I hold deep inside my heart is one you don’t remember, the moment that felt throwaway to you. It was after a practice game, I hadn’t done well – the batters getting inside my head faster than you could combat them. I had received the lecture from you, from Nabe-senpai and from Boss. And yet, that night, when I had been huddled into my blanket, ready for a night of self-pity before I pushed past this game the next morning, there you stood outside my door. Your pillow in one hand, an anime you knew I loved, and wearing my favourite shirt of yours. You were there because you knew I was upset, but you didn’t bring the game up, instead letting me cuddle with you and take solace in your presence.”

He didn’t write down the full story though, keeping the ending of that night to himself. They had fallen asleep, his head resting on Miyuki’s chest, and arms wrapped around each other. He had closed his eyes second, content to watch as Miyuki’s eyelashes fluttered close, or how without his glasses he looked younger and happier. At some point in the night he had woken up, unsure why his sleep had been disturbed, or even where he was at that exact moment. But then his sleepy eyes had been attracted to the face beside his own, and as his brain woke up slowly, he registered the pleasant buzz of noise as Miyuki actually speaking softly.

He had been sleeptalking, but unlike the nonsense Eijun sometimes spewed, this was all encouragement and affection. What Captain Miyuki couldn’t say, lest he be called biased, his subconscious managed to release.

“You’re going to be an amazing Ace Eijun. Your pitching is getting cleaner and more controlled every day. I believe in you.” 

Eijun had teared up that night, a soft grin on his lips as he watched Miyuki slowly slide back into a deep sleep. He hadn’t realized that he’d been needing validation till he’d received it. The next morning when Miyuki had asked why his shirt had gotten wet, Eijun had blushed and looked away, blustering until the conversation had been dropped.

That memory was just for him.

He continued to write the letter, laughing and smiling to himself as he tried to convey all the affection he felt for Miyuki. He had gotten so distracted by writing, that he hadn’t noticed when the door to his room had opened, nor when a recognizable pair of feet came to stand in front of him. It was only when a chuckle reached his ears that he looked up. Seeing the familiar smirk and eyes hidden behind the glare of glasses he smiled widely in greeting, before realizing what he had been doing.

Blushing brightly, Eijun scrambled to put the letter away before Miyuki caught onto what he had been doing. But before he could hide it fully, Miyuki crouched down, and began helping him, assuming he had intended to pack up altogether. That meant it was easy for Miyuki to see the words on the paper, and to see the slightly red-eyed look of nervousness that was dancing across Eijun’s face. To his dismay, Miyuki managed to pry the letter from his hands with a teasing laugh. 

But as he began to read it, Eijun could see when the laugh disappeared and the blush began to grow. When Miyuki lowered the letter, Eijun tried to hide his face behind his hands, not wanting to see the affect his words had had on Miyuki, as they had had on him. But he wasn’t able to, Miyuki grabbed onto his hand, forcing Eijun to stop and glance at him. The blush on his own face had matched Miyuki’s, both of them a bright red colour, but there was a brilliant smile on Miyuki’s lips, one that Eijun had never seen.

Unbeknownst to him, Miyuki had only ever shown that smile to two people in his life, one to whom he couldn’t any longer, and the other, Eijun.

With a quiet whine, Eijun pushed his face into Miyuki’s shoulder, face steaming at the thought that he’d brought a smile like that onto Miyuki’s face. He looped one arm through Miyuki’s, and just buried his face in the soft fabric of Miyuki’s shirt, and tried to muffle the shout that was bludgeoning its way up his throat. His face probably would have cooled down soon enough, and maybe he would have been able to have a meaningful conversation with Miyuki, but then he heard Miyuki’s soft response which was enough to send him spiraling again and pressing his face into Miyuki with an even louder whine than before.

“If you think you’re the only one who feels this way, then you’re a bigger baka then I thought you were.”

----

“....Somehow its dull and damp. I have been dull; I have missed you. I do miss you. I shall miss you. And if you don’t believe it, you’re a longeared owl and ass.

Virginia.”

[movietvtechgeeks]

Latest story from https://movietvtechgeeks.com/misha-collins-gives-classic-supernatural-interview/

Misha Collins gives a classic 'Supernatural' interview

As I’m about to have a new book about Supernatural released on May 9 (Family Don’t End With Blood: Cast and Fans on How Supernatural Has Changed Lives which you can get here), I’m reflecting back on some of my many conversations with the Supernatural cast over the past decade. Getting to know this special group of actors, as well as the extraordinary group of people that is the Supernatural fandom, is what gave me the idea for the new book. I knew that fans had powerful stories about how the show had changed (or even saved) their lives; from chatting with the actors over the years, I knew that they did too. So I thought I’d share some of those interviews here – take a trip down memory lane, as it were. First up, Misha Collins! Misha wrote a special essay for Family Don’t End With Blood, but it isn’t the first time he’s contributed to our books. He wrote a powerful (and amusing) chapter in our last book, Fan Phenomena: Supernatural, too. And he contributed to Fangasm: Supernatural Fangirls. In fact, he had the last word in that book, which made him happy. Way back in 2012, we posted some excerpts from our first meeting with Misha. We didn’t know him at all then, so let’s just say he was full of surprises—and that we had a very good time indeed. Check out when we interviewed Lynn on her own Supernatural experiences. Check out exclusive excerpts from Lynn's upcoming book! So, here's Misha Collins in all his glory speaking straight from the heart. We first sat down with Collins shortly after he joined the cast, and before he had any clue what “fandom” was all about – or even that Supernatural had so many passionate fans! We had spent the day on the Supernatural set, doing interviews for some articles in Supernatural Magazine, so by the time we returned to our hotel at Vancouver’s lovely Sutton Place, it was already late – not too late though, we hoped with some trepidation, for our scheduled interview with Collins. We’d been seriously impressed by Castiel’s dramatic introduction to the show, and his already powerful connection with Dean, and couldn’t wait to chat with the actor who portrayed him. Our set van pulled up to Sutton Place behind the one transporting Misha, and when he jumped out, we were completely caught off guard by how much the actor didn’t look like the character. Obviously the lack of trenchcoat was instrumental, but frankly, we just didn’t expect Collins to be so — well, attractive! Dressed in faded vintage flare jeans and a gauzy shirt, he looked like he’d just stepped out of the 70s, which was a very good look on him indeed. Add to that a beaming smile instead of Castiel’s uber stern verging-on-constipated expression, and damn, who knew! An hour later, we joined Collins in Sutton Place’s cozy bar, Gerard’s, for a drink and what was scheduled to be a half hour interview. Misha had just been booked for his first Supernatural convention, so he kicked off the interview by asking us what to expect, since no one had prepared him. Which seemed odd to us, since he certainly had a few convention experts at his disposal. Lynn: No? Did you ask Jared and Jensen — because they’ve been to a million. Misha: Yes, but I didn’t get a clear picture. Maybe they didn’t want to scare me. It’s an unusual phenomenon? In your opinions? Kathy: There have been other shows popular enough for conventions, of course, but Supernatural seems different. The dedication and also the level of involvement really is what impresses us. Not just watching the show, but writing meta-analysis of the show, fabulous fanfiction, screencap by screencap analysis of scenes…. We just came from an interview with (propmaster) Chris Cooper, and talking with him about the little tiny things fans pick up on. They know that you have to find the exact same thing you used in season 1 and bring it back in season 4 because fans screencap it and say hey, it’s not the same. (Not us, alas. We’re oblivious. You could probably replace the Impala with a hybrid and we wouldn’t notice. JUST KIDDING! But seriously, our friend Mary once realized that a scene of Sam and Dean burning bones at a graveyard was footage from a previous episode. And she was RIGHT!) Misha: It is amazing the level of creative input, not just the nitpicking continuity questions, but the creative input. Now that we were five minutes into our allotted thirty and had not yet managed to ask one measly question from our handy dandy prepared notes, Misha hijacked the interview once again to ask another. This constantly happens to us in interviews, which we used to think was due to the fact that we’re an English professor and a psychologist, not journalists, and thus we fail at journalistic rigor. Luckily their questions are as interesting as ours anyway at least half the time. Misha: Can I ask one more question, then you can ask your questions? Us: Oh, sure, no problem, of course. (Really, who would say no to those blue eyes??) Misha: From a psychological vantage point, what needs is this fulfilling? Leave it to Misha to ask a question that took us an entire BOOK to answer. He’s now got it all in one handy dandy place in Fandom At The Crossroads. At the time, we were only beginning our research for that book, but we laid out our theories about the supportive, normalizing, validating role that the fan community plays, and the ways in which creative expression like fanfiction, vidding, and fanart can be for play, celebration and fun – and for exploring identity, self expression, even working through trauma, with the fan community a kind of group therapy experience. Collins, we have to say, listened much more intently than most of our students. Alas. Misha: That’s very interesting. Kathy: Most fans kind of get into fandom because it’s a way to be accepted. So if you’re passionate about a television show, most people outside of that community will look at you and say “Get a life”. Within that community, it’s a conversation about people and places. That’s where we started and just really wanted to be. Lynn: The other weird thing about this fandom is, the more we’ve researched it, the more we realize that it’s a very reciprocal fandom. The creative side — the actors, writers, production office, directors, the art department –they interact with the fans directly and in a very respectful way. This is a smart, educated, older fandom. It’s not 10 year old kids who don’t know what their boundaries should be. So they’ve really built up this really reciprocal, active relationship. Misha: That’s very interesting. At this point, we realized we were now halfway through our allotted time, and Misha had mostly fixed us with those puppy eyes and kept us talking with “that’s very interesting” interjections. Damn!! We started to wonder if we’d been compelled-by-an-angel. Breaking eye contact with difficulty, we attempted to change the interview back to US interviewing HIM. Lynn: You must have had some interactions with the Supernatural fans. Misha: You know, I’ve received fan mail and it’s actually, I don’t know why, but previously my fan mail was coming from the US prison systems. Inmates were writing me. Lynn: (at the time utterly clueless about Misha’s propensity for teasing with a completely straight face….) Wait, what? Was that because you were on ‘24’ or what? Yes, those are Lynn’s incredible powers of hypothesizing. Misha: (still with that totally serious face, ensuring that Lynn would continue to look like a moron….) Honestly, I don’t know. I assume it must have been 24. Lynn: (continues to look like…..yeah yeah, whatever.) Misha: (realizing we’re going to, sadly, remain clueless….) Well this will be different because it seems like actual letters from people who really have a personal investment in getting a response, which gives it a different tenor to the writing than someone trying to collect a random collection of autographs that have no sort of personal meaning. Other than that, I’ve been approached on the street, there’s no way for me to tell if they’ve been avid fans or people who just watch the show. They were very respectful and positive. Kathy: This is an interesting fandom, because they don’t always take well to new characters in the show, they pretty much want the show to be about the boys. Your character is an exception, almost immediately the fandom took to this new character. We’ve never seen this before. Misha: (deadpans) You’ve hated the character. Lynn (beginning to get with the program): Did we say that?! Misha: (grinning) I think part of that has to do with the build up, being receptive to Castiel. It was such an inherent piece of the story. The character is a super character, a super cool character, it was a super cool introduction to the character. Lynn: Talk about drama! And it doesn’t hurt that there is a great deal of chemistry between Castiel and Dean. Misha: The scenes that we’ve had together, there’s something that clicks and they’re easy, the way we interact with each other. Lynn: There is, yes, in Castiel’s interactions with Dean. I always wonder how much of it you can feel in the moment. Could you tell if it’s going to be good, how it will play out on the screen? Misha: No, never. I’m not very good at telling. I think they’re really right on. I think the things that are horrible actually turn out to be the best. Lynn (deadpans): Luckily you’re not doing the editing. Misha: (who can take it as well as he can give it) Right. I don’t know why, but there’s always a certain intensity, like a quiet intensity that seems to organically comes out when we’re (Cas and Dean) doing scenes. We pointed out that for some reason, the Cas and Dean scenes, especially early on, were set up in a very intimate way, with lots of whispered conversation and emotion-packed stares and glares. Fandom, predictably, was almost immediately captivated by the character and his relationship with Dean. Kathy: The first online community devoted to Castiel (and Dean) was created within 42 minutes of the character’s introduction. Misha: (deadpan) Why do you think it took so long? Maybe the servers were down or something. We took a break when food and drink arrived, and somehow Misha once again took up question-asking instead of question-answering. Misha: So is that stuff mostly on Live Journal? What is Live Journal? How gigantic is it? How many people in the domestic US belong to these communities, about 10,000 people, or 100,000 people? As you can see, Misha is an excellent interviewer. It took us about ten minutes to realize we were once again being interviewed instead of interviewing, and to determinedly turn the tables back. Did he have any idea, when he auditioned for Supernatural, how passionate the fandom was? Misha: I had no idea what I was walking into. I had no idea when I went into audition. Lynn (grabbing the chance to ask one of our many still-unasked questions): Oh hey, that’s one of our questions! What made you audition for this role? Misha: The desire for a job. I think I didn’t even realize until after the audition what it was for, I thought it was a guest star. My manager told me, but I wasn’t paying attention. It was a demon that I was auditioning for. Kripke didn’t want it to get out to fandom (that Castiel was an angel). He gave me a little direction, after I did the demon version once, he gave me a little direction to change it to be an angel, and he told me they hadn’t been down on earth for two thousand years so there would be a quality of just looking at humans as though they were strange alien beings. Lynn: You do that so well. Psychologists are always trying to read people’s non-verbals. And there’s this subtle sort of little twist you do, regarding people a little too long and sort of speaking a little more slowly, because you’re not sure of your footing. It’s very subtle, but it’s very there. Misha: Cool. It’s fun to play with that. Lynn: Castiel is a complicated character and I think fans like that too because he’s not — you can’t really peg him. Is he good? Is he not good? He’s a sympathetic character but he can be a bastard. Does he like Dean, does he hate Dean, does he want to take Dean apart? Misha: (deadpans) Does he want to take Dean to bed? Lynn: (nearly spits her drink all over her interview notes). Excellent question! Both of us (silently): Everyone wants to take Dean to bed….. Kathy: (recovering from the take-Dean-to-bed visuals first) So, has anyone told you anything about what the conventions are like? Misha: No. I’ve never been to one. Kathy: Well, there will be thousands of people. And as soon as you walk out onto the stage there will be clapping and cheering. Misha: Sounds like a fantasy. Kathy: It does, doesn’t it? Then you’ll have to answer their questions on the spot. Misha: I have a friend who was on the last Star Trek series and he was telling me about his conventions a few years ago, and I was thinking, wow, I hope my career never comes to that. Then I got the first call and I was like, WHAT???? FANTASTIC, I can handle this, sign me up! At the time, Misha had just filmed his acrobatic guest spot on Nip/Tuck, and there was a clip on Youtube which the SPN fandom was loving. For obvious reasons. Misha: My barber found it and when I went in for my hair cut, he said your Nip/ Tuck clip had like more than 30,000 hits — oh, and it’s airing next week. I didn’t know it. I said, how the hell did you know that? It was a pretty weird role. When I shot it, before I was shooting this, I thought it would be under the radar. Famous last thoughts. Lynn: That’s pretty funny. And even after having been on things like 24, because that’s a pretty popular show, it doesn’t have the sort of concentrated fan base that this show has. This is something different for you. Misha: Totally different. Interesting, because something like 24, there’s more people watching me, but no one interviewing me. Lynn: No, exactly. Not watching you in the same way. I mean, I don’t want to make you paranoid…. Misha: You are! Lynn (evil grin): Am I doing a good job? Yes, that’s what we do. Misha: I think it makes me take it a little more seriously. It sort of makes it feel like a bit more of a responsibility. It’s just not some junk that people are half watching. There’s a bit more devotion on the receiving end. This may be totally out of line, but it feels like Jared and Jensen sort of feel that way with the cast and crew. Just the sense that they’re being watched. I haven’t got that kind of attention myself, so that’s good so far. Kathy: You will at the convention. The Supernatural conventions are like a self-contained universe, and it’s a different universe. There within that universe, you’re a celebrity. Misha: That’s funny how when they send the contracts they mention security, and I thought, I’m certainly not going to need that! At this point in the interview (of which we’ve only included excerpts), you may be thinking that surely our allotted thirty minutes had long past. You would be right. This didn’t occur to either us or Collins as we sat in Gerard’s trading interviewer duties, however. It was Misha’s turn again. Misha: Let me just go back to that last point, being scrutinized by the fans. The other thing is, seeing how nasty they are to the people they don’t like, it makes you conscious of that, it’s just not sort of the carrot on the stick. Just the accolades you get that are going to your head and skewing how you think. There’s a little bit of fear for me, being new. What if they turn on me? It would be devastating, it would be like a divorce. I don’t want to go through that. Lynn: Don’t worry, they’re not tired of you. Misha: (deadpans) You haven’t seen the stuff that we shot already, it’s pretty embarrassing. Collins’ zinging sense of humor was apparently nurtured in a remarkably pop culture-free childhood environment. I was raised fairly isolated from the popular culture in general. We didn’t have a TV. We didn’t have any money. We moved around a lot. I was in 15 different schools by the time I was a freshman in high school. I was often an outsider at the school and I never really had a tight network where I would get involved. I was wearing the Michael Jackson glove when everyone else was already on to Prince….I do get into things but I’ve never had a devotion to any popular culture and I’m always not understood at all. Lynn: So you grew up not really a fan and not watching TV — how did you decide to become an actor? Misha: Good question. Lynn: (silently) Finally! Misha: My mom was a professional storyteller when we were growing up, which meant that she would go and tell a story to a school assembly here and there. She did community theater and I was in a couple of her plays. Nothing serious. Then I did a couple of plays in high school. My mother would come to whatever school I was in, and direct the play. I don’t know how, but I would end up getting cast as the lead. As I looked back I was horrified at the nepotism that went into that. I think that the teacher should have said absolutely not, you’re not casting your son as the lead. So I have that background. But I was going to go to law school, I went to the University of Chicago. Then I got out of school and didn’t know what to do with myself right away. I took a little time off and I started a software company. I was just sort of floundering around. At this point, Collins must have realized that the interviewer/interviewee roles had been flipped again, suddenly exclaiming, “Wow, I haven’t given such a long-winded answer in a long time.” We assured him that was fine, and so he went on. Except, abruptly and inexplicably, he was now speaking with an unidentifiable but definitely non-American accent! Misha: I was going into character for some reason when I was in college. Lynn: (silently) Apparently that has continued into the present. Misha: I was a Russian foreign exchange student, Lynn (silently): Ohhhh, so that’s what this is! Misha: And these lasted for a long time, like six to nine months and it was fun and everyone laughed until they got really sick of it. So a couple friends said you should really try acting. Basically I got a head shot taken and took one class when I was living in DC when I interned at the White House. My first audition was for Barry Levinson for Liberty Heights. I didn’t even know what an audition was. I had no idea what I was doing. I got the part and worked on it for about six weeks. Then there was another movie casting locally, which was Girl Interrupted. I thought, this is easy! I’ll be a movie star for a little while. Then I moved out to LA, got an agent and went to my first LA audition and I saw 30 guys there. Auditioning in Baltimore and DC there would be me — the same old me and a black woman and a 4 year old child. Then moving to LA, there were 30 guys that looked like Mike Doppleganger. It took me nine months auditioning five days a week to get a guest star on Charmed. That was my first role in LA. That’s a long-winded story for ya. It was. So long winded that Misha was chastised by The Powers That Be for being late for some phone interviews and we were chastised for making him late. Hey, we were the ones BEING interviewed half the time, it wasn’t our fault! Anyone who has had the pleasure of seeing Misha at a convention knows that he took on the experience with the same intellectual curiosity he brought to our first interview. Sometimes his Q & As are so hysterical that we’re crying from laughing so hard. He broke the rules early and often (huge surprise there….) and in the process changed the norms for cons, and for the ways in which the creative side interacts with fans. He treated fans like fellow adults, asking as many questions as he sorta-kinda-maybe answered (a dynamic with which we were already intimately familiar), tossed out the no-cursing norm, and generally engaged in witty banter that some fans matched him step for step and others just quirked an eyebrow. We will continue through the launch of Lynn's book with some of her best Supernatural interviews. Check out Misha’s chapter – along with many other cast and fan chapters – in Family Don’t End With Blood. You can pre-order it here.

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