#but what can i expect from a loser who doesn't even date in his own age bracket or older 💀

[rubiatinctorum]

i did Not go through shitty friendships where i was being made fun of on the side as a child and a teenager just so i could go through them again as an adult. No more :3c I don't need to prove myself a good enough court fool, a good enough person, a good enough artist (but not so good that someone feels threatened), and a good enough servant to 'deserve' friendship.

[iwasdear]

I'm coming in with another thought about Matsukawa cus he lives in a penthouse in my brain and bro is not moving out any time soon

he did not truely grasp how big his meat was until he lost his virginity

sure he's not dumb he knew it was definitely something but not until he got a girl in bed did he realize his shtick was built different

and lemme say that did more than just inflate his ego, he was a changed man

And doesn't just slang it all willy nilly and expect his size to do all the work, he learned the motion of the ocean and was a certified sex god from that point forward‼

Not just cocky for cockys sake, he promises a good time and sure as hell lays it tf down too😼

On a similar note can I ask how you think all the seijoh 4 first times went? when? how? what do you think?

oh i definitely fuck with this thought, anon. he's not cocky just because he can be cocky, but it's because he knows he can be cocky. matsukawa isn't like those annoying mfs that are cocky because they think they're the shit. he is the shit. after that encounter where he lost his virginity, he became a god and nobody could stop him no more.

now, here is how i think seijoh 4z first time went ( with reader ) ★

oikawa had his first time at a party. since he's very popular, he gets invited to parties often. i feel like he def had no idea as to what the fuck to do, but i mean, you're not bound to knows when it's your first time, right? he was really excited about it, though, and spoiler: he came really fast! we understand, king. hormones are everywhere, there's a rush that's hard to ignore, its a first time sensation, how could he hold back? he had a round two after that because he reached his own high, but reader didn't even get to enjoy theirs, and let me tell you. his second orgasm hit him ten times harder. i know this messed up with his ego so he's been participating in every no nut november like a loser because he says it will help him last longer (it really doesn't).

mattsun had a pretty decent first time with a date, and it went absolutely amazing for both of them. the amount of stamina this guy has is insane. they met on a dating app, both of their profiles specifying that they didn't want anything serious, much rather looking for a quick hook-up. it was then when matsukawa realized his cock was in fact not your average dick. the fact that his huge buddy could make someone cry in pain fascinated him. my guy has morals so he held back so reader could adjust but god was his ego over the roof. ever since then, mattsun proudly carries a weapon between his legs.

makki had his first time in a damn club HANDS DOWN. unlike oikawa, who had the commodity of a (strangers) bed, hanamaki went at it in a bathroom. oh yeah. ngl i feel like he's a sucker for head, so they went with that first! he loved it, btw. lasted quite long but not too long, iykwim. then he proceeded to fuck reader on the sink. some clubs tend to have full body mirrors and my gut is telling this mf had a second round but this time full view on said mirror. the ones above the sink weren't it for him. out of the 4, i personally think makki is the most experienced. he knew what he was doing the moment they walked into that bathroom. if you're wondering, they waited for it to empty out and locked the doors and didn't let anyone in for a good two hours, teehee.

this one may be a little too biased because i love iwaizumi a little too much, and in my eyes, he's a gentleman. unlike the other 3, iwa had his first time with someone he was in a stablished relationship with at the time. it was actually quite romantic and beautiful and SIKE. hajime had his first time in the lockers. stressed from dealing with oikawa and his annoying fangirls, mattsun and makki holding him back from beating the shit out of his best friend, and just built up stress from other things. he was over it. the stablished relationship part is true. he asked reader to meet in the lockers a little earlier than the time practice usually ends because he heard from others (mattsun) that sex was a good stress reliever. by the way, iwaizumi was the last to lose his virginity. the gentleman part was also true because despite being someone who doesn't speak his mind outloud, my man still had the courage to confidently ask reader if they could do the deed right there and then. tbh i feel like he likes his privacy, and i mean, anyone could walk in any second, so they both went with the showers. great experience if you ask him, but he would NOT do it in an open space like that ever again.

© iwasdear | more thoughts are welcome!

[misfitgirlwrites]

Modern!Reader x Alastor Headcanons | Third Place Giveaway Winner

This is very funny to me. Alastor dating or befriending someone who's more similar to Vox to say the least than him when it comes to...technological advancements

CW: none, just some bickering between what could be seen as an old married couple

It's a little hard for almost everyone to tell, but you and Alastor are close

I say it's hard to tell because you two are constantly throwing jabs at each other and honestly, it couldn't be helped

He was just so...old

Everything about his habits and interests were outdated and Alastor wasn't the type to do his own thing quietly 

There's always a comment, a sideways glance, a light scoff which leads to,

"Don't be upset because you don't know how to use a cellphone."

"Me? Upset over such a device? You confuse me with someone else, dear."

"I don't think I am. What'd you have again? Messenger birds?"

"Very funny."

You would simply chuckle at Alastor for the most part. You've heard it all before, your love and talent did lead to you VoxTech for a bit of your afterlife, but you didn't stay.

You found it more enjoy using what you know to help Charlie with her cause.

You were a helpful person in your own way. It was the only reason you kept trying to introduce Alastor to some form of modern tech. 

"I can make you the simplest most basic cellphone Hell has ever seen. Only phone calls and texting--"

"You lost me."

"--Only phone calls and we'll get to the rest eventually?"

"No."

You'd groan out, "even Lucifer has a cellphone! He's older than you!"

"Was that supposed to help you convince me?"

"...You're such a loser."

You have special nicknames for Alastor when you feel like picking with him. 

Old Allie

Old Man Red

Ye Old Alastor

Arthritis Strawberry

Alastor: Great Gatsby Edition

He hates all of them, of course, and that's why you love them

Alastor is completely uninterested in what you do. His focus is just more on your talent and passion than what you're making

You argue that what you're making is your passion so he should show a little interest

This would lead to a breakthrough!

"Only for phone calls."

"Right."

"Don't add anything else."

"Mhm."

"______. I mean it."

"Don't go using that scary tone with me, mister. I'm your friend, so trust me!"

It took all your willpower to not add anything extreme to the, in your opinion, useless cellphone. Phone calls only, just as promised. You knew Alastor agreed to shut you up, but you were still satisfied with your win

That's why you were very surprised when you got a call from him and you knew he wasn't in the hotel. You of course told everyone who would listen (AKA everyone in the hotel)

You yourself were always on the move and it made you happy that the chance to hear Alastor while you were both away was significantly higher (he lowkey hates the thing, so he doesn't always answer)

After a while, like a lot of elderly, Alastor would just straight up not take the phone with him.

"Al."

"Yes, my dear?"

"The point of a cellphone. You get it, yeah?"

A roll of the eyes

"Al."

"I still use the thing."

"You leave it in the hotel!"

"I forget it here and there."

"You can't tell me you're not someone's fuckin' grandfather with that lame excuse. At this rate, I'm gonna glue the phone to you."

Honestly, he kept it on him for almost two months. You expected to be having this conversation sooner.

After nagging him for a few days, Alastor made sure not to "forget" the cellphone anymore, much to his annoyance. He, of course, couldn't be seen with the thing, so it was just easier to leave it at the hotel

Two more weeks in, and Alastor would definitely be thinking of ways for this device to get in an unfortunate accident, if you will

While fiddling with the damned thing one night, Alastor finally found the one extra feature you decided to add. After a small click sounded, the small phone extended in his hands, making him let it go. The small screen was now larger; touchscreen.

Alastor's eye twitched. He could almost hear you cackling. 

He was going to end you.

@theblueslytherin Here as promised! I really hope you like it!

Alastor Taglist: @alastorssimp @saints-wrapped-in-plastic @dasimp777

[queerfortress2]

transman reader x a very pathetic sniper and medic PLEASSEEE im tired of seeing them written as dominant alpha men

HELLO HELLO LETS SEE WHOS UP FIRST

*adjusting glasses* I LOVE THIS!! LITERALLY WITH YOU ON THIS ONE I WANNA DOMINATE SOME MEN (tf2 reference) let's get right into this before i make a fool of myself oh dear — mod medic! <3

TRANSMASC!READER X MEDIC + SNIPER (SEPERATE)

SNIPER

major MAJORRR bi energy from him, i just think he wouldn't mind dating a man. problem at hand i think he's so very bad at dating in general and it being man doesn't make it worse per se, but now he's just 10x more awkward

he's seen hetero dating on TV! but how does it work with another man? he's so awkward i love him...

you WILL have to make most of the moves anyway, I don't really think he's dominant I think he's like. a loser, you feel? like a loser/pos though.

very very touch starved

like if you even hold his hand i think it would be easy to fluster him hes so pathetic

upon reaction i am one of those girlies who think he would throw his hat over his face and murmur something about being 'okay' and that you were just looking at him funny

sure mundy. sure. whatever YOU wanna believe.

other than that hes super physical while alone with you, i dont think much in public but i think if you catch him really tired in bed he would cling to you like a very lanky and large koala.

dont call him out about it he will fold

all in all? i think he desires some softer lovin. like after a harsh days work of being a mercenary i think he just NEEDS it

MEDIC

hehe. guess whos my favourite mercenary

i think hes just gay. sorry even as a woman i can acknowledge thats a man who likes men

probably offered you surgery. please deny it though. like for your own safety i genuinely think its better to just keep them

flustering? mmm. i think its a little harder, especially in a dominating manner. i always see him as a little bit of a control freak, so he would be a little .. stubborn about it

not to say its impossible! because its not impossible but its hard to do!

i'd say be.. harsher with it. sniper likes that softer love i think medic (to fluster him even in the slightest) would need something more out there

PIN HIM TO A DESK, CORNER THAT MAN, FIGH—

ahem

be brash is all im saying

i think while hes working late at night its easier, he isn't expecting anything specific and at that our he probably advises you just to sleep, its only a tad bit easier to deal with him at that our, you can be a little soft with him

he will bring his up later though

not now, no, he still wants to work, but SOON. PREPARE

i?? hope?? thats okay? I DONT EXACTLY* KNOW* WHAT LENGTH MY WRITINGS MUST BE! BUT HOPEFULLY YOU'RE SATISFIED DEAR ANON, TILL WE MEET AGAIN!!!

[who1ssheesh]

If you're still doing it I can't wait to see the prompt with squalos s/o being buds with Xanxus 😂

Squalo's S/O being buds with Xanxus

Pairings: Squalo/Reader, Xanxus/Reader (PLATONIC)

Notes: yes. absolutely. i live for those two idiots. This one is long af compared to Xanxus' one and I can't explain why. But I had so much fun with this, Xanxus is a soulmate in a bro-ish way????

Warnings: good ol swearing, brief mentions of sex (not much really), probably OOC and terrible english (ur not my teacher ha ha)

• First of all, holy shit that’s impressive?

• Second of all, must be mentioned that Xanxus kinda….doesn't see women as friends? He looks at them sexually right away. Or so he thought

• Third of all, Squalo gotta be terrified

• Fourth of all (that's a lot of counting) Squalo situation is not having any drama as Xanxus' does, he is a pure comedy gold and so is his relationship with you. That's what no daddy issues does to you, but what do i know

• Not comedy as if a clown comedy, but a good harsh bri'ish comedy - insert Utopia reference. Squalo is more than confident in you since you obviously date for some time for him to move in with you and therefore reveal you to his boss.

• I'll tell you a secret btw, Xanxus probably guessed he has you because Squalo is a loser cuck and started to act differently.

• I think Xanxus doesn’t give a shit enough to just bust into Squalo’s apartment for any stupid reason as if it’s his own. So if you at least haven’t heard of him as your boyfriend’s boss, you’re going to meet him in person

• Xanxus coming up and breaking your door just to nap:

🧍

• Squalo never told Xanxus where he lives, that bitch just knows

• Never in his life Xanxus expected to see one day a shmoll girl there and not hear screaming at the top of one’s lungs. He still says Squalo is a fucking virgin loser femboy ugly ass haha lol lmao, he can’t be deprived of those shitty jokes…

• I mean it, Xanxus can get pissed seeing you too being lovey-dovey but I'll expand this drama later

• Xanxus is basically your adopted stray cat, deal with it

• Squalo won't say this out loud or says this very...covertly and probably insults you along the way, but anyways he really appreciate you dealing with all that bullshit. He does indeed value strong character - you don't need to wield a big sword or shoot a gun, but going through his path even though you can be confused or scared means much. He knows a lot of cowards who can shoot a gun, so...Squalo looks much deeper than that. Shark, ocean, DEEP, get it<<<<<<</////??????? I'll see myself out.

• He is lowkey terrified but...also chill? Unlike Xanxus, he doesn't overthink (at least not much). He of course draws a line at some things - at first Squalo was really mad at his boss staying...alone....with you....at you house (he is jealous) cause Xanxus is immoral bitch and would try to fuck you if he wants to.

• Also is you start gossiping or making fun of him with Xanxus, holy shit Squalo is quick to start raging. It's one thing to gossip and laughing at some bud, but doing so about your partner is a huge red flag for him. If you have any problems. come straight to Squalo he is an adult and prefers just discussing problems.

• Well, Xanxus also will certainly not respect you for trying to spill out your bullshit on him and talking shit about his captain. He has standards. (And not because he is a little uwu girl and actually deep DEEP like ocean bottom deep cares about Squalo)

• “The fuck happened here?”, Squalo is on edge, to say the least, seeing stains of blood around the apartment and you cleaning it with a clearly annoyed expression

“So your boss-“

“My boss?!”

“-got over again”

“AGAIN???”

• So, the situation: Squalo, as a person who values trust in relationship the most, is really pissed (sad….) you’re keeping the truth away from him, and you, thinking he’s aware his boss is chilling around since…..well, Superbia is his right hand, makes sense?

• You didn’t know about their burning hate for each other. Gotta be jealous, his love to you will never be as true, fiery and emotional as his undying HATE!!!! for Xanxus

• You screaming “get a fucking room, deepshits” when they start arguing again

• You probably got Xanxus with an insult. Obviously. Sorry, you’ve signed a pact, nothing in your life will be normal again, just like your boyfriend (he’s a little unstable. Just a little)

• Xanxus haven’t been around your house for long - leaving more work for Superbia and leaving right after, quickly patching a quick wound and stealing alcohol, of course

• You’ve been quieter than a mouse, thinking you shouldn’t be involved in Squalo’s business, but one day Xanxus was noticeably not feeling good, ready to pass out, so…you helped him obviously

• Xanxus being Xanxus didn’t thank you, got pissed because air was too warm for his liking or smth and was whining that actually you did a poor job tending his wound

• “Bitch, I will kill you in your sleep?” sent him away, he honestly found this hilarious (we’re talking about your audacity here)

• You got a chuckle out of him, whick you didn't think about much at first, but a Squalo's shocked expression said everything. You can be proud

• Lowkey Xanxus doesn't separate you two together in his mind, you both are a one Superbia homunculus in his mind. Maybe that's why Xanxus with Squalo's s/o feels so....included for all three of you compared to other way around lol

• Even your jokes are on the same line istg

• Xanxus feels even...bittersweet.

• He is...kinda cautious? He knows Squalo is capable of getting out from the devil himself (remember how may times he "died" in manga lol), but you...well...he double checks every visit. Xanxus is very brutal and, unbothered and nonchalant but very smart. Makes sure no one is on his tail.

• Don't get me wrong, it's not in a sweet family way, but you kinda start having dinners together? Both are bitching around but you notice in the end they start having a human conversation instead of their regular unga-bunga

• Xanxus likes this

• Xanxus feels home

• Unlike Squalo, he can't show his devotion to save his life, so you just know there is a "useful friend of a friend that can solve some problems with a call". But I'll tell you, Xanxus will double-check if something is serious, not just throw problems as subordinates.

• Mafia is not flowers and sunshine. Those two have had a conversation "what to do if Squalo dies". Xanxus probably threw a glass at him and said to not be an idiot, but he didn't say no. You're the first person he can call at least an acquaintance, so...

• Well, that counts when we talk about older Xanxus, I'm sure he is mellowed out by that time (+ just enough time for you and Squalo to establish your relationship)

• He's not the type to get over at 2am if there's a problem lol. Maybe he can miss a call cause he's a heavy sleeper. But if anything, you have his subordinates at your place.

• He will teach you to drink. Will laugh his ass off when you fail to beat his ass at drinking competition again and Squalo is having a heart stroke on the background

• Xanxus will turn you in a copy of himself just to piss ofs Squalo lol

• You learning his mood by the intonation he says 'trash'

• Also you calling him janitor or sum in return. Varia horrified you dare to do this, and Xanxus laughing. He still shoots your way though...

• If you're not Italian, you MUST teach him swearing on your native language. Also tell him if there is any local alcohol (of course)

• "Yeah, I teached him coupla words", you laugh, looking obviously happy being a useful friend and having a surprisingly cozy chat with Xanxus.

Squalo is very confused by that. "What the fuck, but he DOES know this language already?"

• I'm sorry but so many sex jokes. Xanxus doesn't give a shit what you do there in the bedroom (until you invite him over ahaha joke unless), but he's going to be a little shit

• Xanxus is 12 yo btw.

• "Can you suck him off so he shuts the fuck up or smth?"

• LITERALLY LOOKING AT SQUALO "NO BITCHES????"

• This idiot fools around sometimes and throws 9-yo-school-bully insults lol

• "He said he wants to marry /insert random woman name/ when he grows up". 25+ y/o Squalo looking at him just:

🧍

• I hope you two have a cat. Xanxus will feed it. Raw meat and everything a fluffy boy shouldn't but it's Xanxus we're talking about. Literally a teenage edgy teen "ITS NOT A PHASE MOM" at your house.

• Naps on your bed ONLY to leave hiss smell of tabaco, whiskey and a heavy cologne. He 100% heehaws thinking about this - Squalo will NEVER be able to have sex if there is reminding him of Xanxus, like an instant turn off. You always try to complain to Xanxus about this absurd situation but start laughing to the point of crying, Xanxus becomes HYSTERICAL at these moments.

• He will teach you how to shoot. Usually he just drinks there and says you're pathetic while you try. But he keeps inviting you himself, so....Xanxus is a little sappy shit. You only use Squalo's photos as a target, so you get sad a bit and probably tell your boyfriend afterwards. He will say he wants to kill you both or smth.

• Xanxus bringing you ideas in your bed. "Hey so you can tie him up and beat to death as a foreplay".

• He will make you rank up bodies of other women he finds hot. Also if you're a girls' girl, Xanxus will ruin this completely. Basically like "just by looking at her tell be if she's a bitch"

• Xanxus enjoys if you talk shit about someone cause he is the same way.

• He will drag you into his shitty gang ideas. If Squalo could go gray-headed again, he would.

• Squalo looking at you both beaten up anf almost getting caught by the police: "why are you like this."

• To be honest, you may be having a serious talk with your man. Squalo is unironically worried, he did a LOT to keep you away from mafia but here you are. If you are very good at convincing (20 CHA lol), he can just a little bit become convinced that you getting hardened can be useful for mafia life "just in case".

• Also MAYBE he can notice the influence Xanxus has on you. Feminine clothes change to leather jackets and grunge, your knuckles even being bloody way too often, you may be smoking more frequently. Squalo is kind of chill with you finding you identity, but if you start wearing feathers in your hair HE LOOSES HIS MIND

• Xanxus will personally train you, if you ever discover your flame. They will have a fight about this with Squalo.

• Xanxus is proud of you tho. One day he will say this, I'm sure

• People know your bond, they know he does appreciate your opinion even in Varia business, and even anything happened he knows Varia is in the right hand - Squalo is more than competent and there is a little angry copy of himself so Xanxus' spirit always haunts Vongola till the end of time. hehe

• You are a badass little sis. He has never had a family, but that...feels nice.

[karizard-ao3]

Hello! I've been enjoying reading your NGE opinions and aus a lot! Can I ask you how'd you do a full prom saga au?

Whew, why does this feel so tricky? I've been thinking about this one and I'm not sure where to take it, so let's just jump in!

First off, I think we have to group everyone into who would expect/ want to go to prom and who wouldn't? So it would be:

Wants to:

Asuka, Kensuke, Toji, Class Rep (Hikari?), Kaworu

Not interested:

Rei

Too insecure to even contemplate going to prom unless a minimum of three people he admires tell him they want to see him there:

Shinji

Then we have to think, what would be the conflict? What is the big problem we're having with prom that we're going to have to overcome? I think the answer is obvious: How to get Shinji and Rei to go. I feel like Asuka needs to be the driving force there, but I also don't think she would particularly care if they go (Rei she definitely wouldn't give a fuck, Shinji she would be back and forth on, I think) unless there was an incentive. So, maybe Misato asks her to try to get Shinji and Rei to go as a favor because she's worried about them being such depressed loners and, in exchange for her service, Misato will-

Wait. oh my god. We have an opportunity here to do a makeover plot line.

Ohhhhhhhhhh my god. Please forget everything I was saying before because I think this would be so funny. We could do an Asushin She's All That thing! Hot and popular Asuka declares that she can turn any loser boy from school into the Prom King, and poor Shinji becomes her project.

I think if we go this route we would probably have to alter the living arrangements so that Asuka and Shinji are not housemates, but I think we could reasonably have them living in the same apartment building. I kind of want to have Shinji living with Kaji and Asuka with Misato. I like when Misato and Asuka have girl talk and I think it's cute that Shinji apparently tries to mimic Kaji's style in ANIMA. Oh, what if Shinji tried to style himself like Kaji on the day Asuka decided to ask him to prom and was not successful? She critiques his look and is like, "I'll fix you, if you agree to go to prom with me" or something like that? I don't know. Just a thought. It might not work.

Kaji and Misato having their own little romance subplot going on while Asuka and Shinji are going through their own thing also very much appeals to me, and as the Asushin plotline progresses it can impact Kaji and Misato's relationship somehow? Don't know. But I do want a Kaji/Misato thing to happen. (I googled it. The ship name is Misakaji.)

Okay, so, Asuka and Shinji have this deep-seated disdain for each other, even from the beginning. I guess maybe Class Rep can be the one who picks Asuka's project and she picks Shinji, which Asuka tries to get out of at first, but eventually has to suck it up and invite him to prom. So that's the first hurdle. She needs to get him to agree. Luckily for the fic, Shinji will have his own reasons for saying yes. What could they be? Probably some kind of pressure from his friends. Kensuke and Toji were teasing him about being bitchless or something, maybe? Or Kaji tells him he needs to find a prom date and do one normal high school thing before he graduates. We know Shinji does what he's told, so he's now struggling to find a date. Along comes Asuka to tell him he's going to prom with her and also allowing her to make him over so she'd not humiliated to be seen with him, and he's just like, "Ugh. Fine."

They are definitely butting heads and stuff at first, but eventually they start to see a softer side of each other, as happens in these situations. Maybe Shinji discovers Misato never stocks food in the fridge and Asuka isn't a very accomplished cook, so he ends up bringing her meals. Asuka learns that Shinji doesn't want to look like his asshole father and she reveals her own father is a jerk, so they bond over that? They find out Kaji and Misato are hooking up and that's a whole thing.

There should be some angry making out.

I mean, they would really only have like a month to go from prom invite to prom night, right? Or is it six weeks? It's a very short amount of time for them to switch their tunes about each other, so I guess maybe instead of a full on love confession, we can shoot for something like: Shinji is feeling really awful about himself that he needs to be made over and act like a completely different person to get positive attention from the other kids at school. Asuka feels like her baby romance with Shinji is only because she's pushing it, and he doesn't actually care. In the end Asuka tells Shinji he's fine the way he is and undoes his makeover as much as she can (she gives him back his polo shirt and comes the styling product out of his hair? Or she rents him the silly powder blue tux he was so taken with when they went shopping for prom outfits?). She also tells Shinji he doesn't have to go to prom with her. She might just stay home. Shinji says he would rather hang out with her, then, since the only reason he wants to go to prom is to hang out with her. It is a lovely moment. Misato and Kaji are not having it. They have both spent so much fucking money on the kids' tickets and limo and outfits and shit. Misato even paid for Asuka to get her makeup done by a professional. It's very sweet they think they're going to hang out around the house in their prom outfits, but no. They are actually getting their asses to prom right now.

So Asuka and Shinji go to the dance, but they sneak out onto the school roof or something at some point and slow dance under the stars and then don't go back in.

I hope that was intelligible. I will not be reading over it for mistakes. Feel free to chime in with other ideas.

[andydrysdalerogers]

Undercover ~ Chapter Twelve ~ Her Royal Highness

Pairings: Jake Jensen and OFC Samantha Matthews

The Losers have made it back to their families and are out. Well, almost. A threat against the British crown needs to be handled and the CIA has tapped the Losers for one final mission. And they are sending in Jensen.

Jake Jensen hasn't been a civilian in years but now he's undercover to find out why his target is where he is and who he's after.

Enter Sam, someone who Jake doesn't expect and well, he didn't know he was looking for.

Can Jake handle his mission and falling in love? Especially when the truth leads to a bigger mission than expected?

*~* A Jake Jensen Story *~*

Author's note: this story continues after the events of the Losers. I may weave other characters into it but they are all minor. THE TAGLIST IS OPEN.

The playlist is available on Spotify.

cover photo by me! Dividers by @firefly-graphics

Warnings: angst, death, smut, and a bunch of stuff a can’t say because it gives away the plot!

Previous: Chapter Eleven ~ Separation Anxiety

Story Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Sam doesn’t usually wallow. Her life had been pretty good up until right now. Her parents loved her, she had good friends, a man who loved her, a steady job and a home all of her own.  The last two weeks had proven that complacency was dangerous.  As her father’s car pulled up to Kensington, Sam sighed, wiping a tear away at the thoughts of Jake not being with her.  When she stopped, her father exited and offered his hand to her. She accepted, as any princess would, and he led her into their family home.  

“Samantha, I’ve set up your room. It's Apartment 10, your own space as you are an adult now. We need to go over the plan for you and introduce you to your security. I’ve also taken the liberty of gathering some CVs for a secretary for you. And we need to go over the presentation to Parliament.”  

“Great,” Sam deadpanned.  

Her father sighed. “You could be more grateful.”  

“Grateful for what papa? For you taking me away from my home, away from the only place I really knew.  From the man I love?” Sam kept her composure.  “I was safe with Jake.”  

“You were shot at with him!” 

“And he took that bullet for me! Does that not make him worthy of me Father?” 

At the use of the formal title, Harold stiffened. Sam was rarely upset with him, even with how absent he was with her. His focus had been getting his son to take the throne and with that, his daughter had to be on her own. “Samantha...” 

“I’m Sam. That’s how I want to be addressed.  I will only be here long enough for the heir to the throne be born before I am no longer necessary.”  

“Samantha...Sam please, don’t be like this.  You know your brother had no choice.”  

“My brother hates me.  He blames me for his mother dying.  I wasn’t even in the picture and yet its all my fault. I am here because YOU want me here, not Tony. I will do my duty to you and then I am gone.  I have no desire to be a part of his court nor his family.”  Sam turned around and stomped away, aware of her petulance.  Once a steward took her to her apartment, she opened the door and took a look around.  Like everything else in Kensington, the designs were dated and royal. Too much gold inlay for her liking. Her bag had been brought up and she moved to unpack it.  

On top were three photos, one of her mother, one of Bowie and one of Jake and herself during Christmas.  She clutched the photo and laid in bed, sobbing for her lost love.  

Jake watched from the two way mirror. John Fitzgerald. He looked beat down and ragged from his run-in with the Embassy guards. He sat there with a smug look however, and it made Jake crazy.  This bastard started a turn of events that caused the love of his life to be taken from him.  He needed to get answers so he could fight for her.  Clay entered the room.  

“Fitz, long time.”  

“Not long enough,” Fitzgerald replied. “Would have though you would have retired after Colombia.”  

“Which Colombia, the first, second or third time?”  Clay took a seat across from the man.  “Either way, I still got out and you are still captured.”  

John snarled at him. “I would have taken what I needed if it hadn’t been for your boy.”  

“Right, Samantha.” Clay opened the file he had brought in with him.  “Otherwise known as Her Royal Highness, the Dutchess of Manchester.  Funny, you would think that they wouldn’t have titled her if she was a secret, but the best kept secrets are the ones right in front of you.”  

John swallowed. “I knew she was special,” he replied, without the cockiness he had prior.  

“You knew she was special,” Clay repeated. He studied John for a moment.  “You knew she was special, but you did not know she was titled, did you?” 

“Of course, I did.”  

“No, I don’t think so.  See, you searched for the Duchy of Manchester on a tip from someone who knew that she was it but didn’t tell you why. My bet is on the fact that the money led you there.  The Duchy was paying someone but the transactions when to an unnamed account and that’s where you got lost.”  

John fidgeted in his seat. “No.”  

“Liar. You don’t have to answer but I have a feeling you’ll give yourself away Fitzy.  Someone in the royal family or in the opposition is bankrolling you.” No answer. “And it’s someone who either wants the crown or wants the line to die and start a revolution.”  

“You’ll never know Clay.  Maybe I just wanted that sweet piece of ass to be mine. Maybe I just wanted to bend her over my desk and fuck the shit out of her because she looks just that good...”  

The door flew open and Jake came in the room and hit John in the jaw, toppling him from his seat. “Don’t say another word about her like that, you fucker.”  

The guards helped John back into his seat, his bloody smile looking back at Jake and Clay. “Nice shot. Doesn’t help your cause though. I mean the princess is just one piece of the puzzle. My homeland has always needed better leadership and they gave birth to it 50 years ago. We’re just strong enough to take it now.”  

“What did you just say?” Jake looked at him. “Birthed new leadership?” Jake ran through all of his research. “Son of a bitch. I know who his backer is.”  He turned to Clay, “do we have his computer?”  

“Yeah, everything from his house and … where are you going?” He chased Jake out of the room with Fitzgerald spitting and swearing at his idiocy.  

A few days later, Sam was being fitted with her gown for her presentation.  She stood still as the royal seamstresses flited around her, pinning the royal blue material in place.  As she sighed for the hundredth time, her father and brother walked in. “Can I help you?” 

“Sam, enough,” her father said.  “Ladies, will you help her Royal Highness out of the gown?  We need to speak to her in private.”  All of the ladies bowed and took Sam behind a screen and out of the dress. She popped back in her jeans and the Petunias shirt she had stolen from Jake.  

“Could you look any more American?” her brother scoffed.  

“Could you be any more of a pompous prick?” Sam countered, sitting on the armchair farthest from him.  

“Alright, that is enough,” her father said, stopping the insults before they became worse.  “Princess, we need to talk about the future. Your role within the Monarchy, your security and future plans.”  

Sam looked alarmed. “Plans? Like what?” 

“Like getting you to meet people,” Anthony said. “With the right company escorting you, of course.”  

“Right company?” 

Her father looked uncomfortable for the first time in her life.  “I’ve arranged for you to be escorted by the Earl of Stratham.”  

“Earl of Stratham? Peter Cambridge?” Sam had remembered the boy from her visits when she was younger. Ten years her senior, she was surprise to hear that he was still single. And then it dawned on her. “No.”  

“Samantha...” 

“No, I refuse. I am a woman in love. I will find my way back to him Father.”  

“Samantha be realistic,” Anthony said with an eye roll.  “You are the Princess of England not some American tartlet having an affair with a GI Joe. He is not of your station.”  

“So what? He is a good man who took care of me.  Who loves me. I would rather be locked up in a tower than give him up.”  

Anthony stands. “I am ordering you to present yourself to Parliament when it is time.  The Earl of Stratham will be by your side. We will announce your engagement to him in a few months after you have acclimated back to being a good Englishwoman and Princess of this royal house.”  

Sam’s face shatters as she runs from the room. Harold turned to his son. “Did you really feel that is necessary? She hasn’t been brought to be royal. And once you and Marie have children...” 

“I can’t wait to have a successor in place. You know Edward would jump on the chance to become King or have one of his children take over. We can’t allow that to happen.”  

Harold looked to where he could hear his daughter’s cries. “I know. But to take away her first love like this is cruel.”  

“He’s American, Papa.  She needs to get over it. She almost died with him and his team.  This is the best solution. Jacob Jensen is not good enough for our Princess.”  Anthony started to walk out the door. “She is our best hope to preserve our line until I produce my own heir.”  

“I hope you realize that by doing this, you are essentially cutting off any chance of getting to know and love your sister. It is not her fault that your mother left.”  

“She may not be the reason, but she had the chance at the normal life that I was never given. I’m sorry she is hurting but as head of this house, my decision is final.” He walked out without a backwards glance.  

Harold headed in to see his daughter. He found her in bed, chest heaving as she cried. “Oh, princess.”  

“I hate you,” she replied.  “I hate both of you.” Sam looked at her father squared. “I will not marry that man. I will not give up Jake. I’d rather abdicate and be a poor woman in love than a rich woman without. Get out of my room.”  

“Samantha...” 

“I said get out! You know no love for your daughter when you allow your son to do this to me.”  Sam moved into her bathroom and locked the door.  She sank to the floor and cried.  “Jake, please, come get me.”  

Jake had been working on the computers for the better part of a week.  The encryption was something to be admired and, in another lifetime, Jake would have appreciated it.  But now, it was nothing more than the bain of his existence.  He needed the information on it. Proof of his theory of who was after his Princess.  

“How’s it going Jake?” Aisha asked gently, setting a cup of coffee next to him.  

“Thanks,” he took a sip. “I’m almost there. I’d be impressed by this if it wasn’t pissing me off.”  

“Have you taken a break?” She looked at him with concern when he shook his head no. “Jake, you are going to burn yourself out and be no good to Sam when she needs you.”  

“I need to find this. I need her to feel free and not trapped.”  

“Jake! Man, have you seen this?” Pooch ran in, holding a tablet.  

“I haven’t looked at anything but this and my photo of Sam. What is it?” He took the table from his hand.  

PARLIAMENT CALLED INTO SESSION EARLY ~ANNOUCEMENT TO BE MADE BY HIS MAJESTY 

“Shit.” Jake reads the article. “The session is being called tomorrow.”  

“They are going to present her, aren’t they?” Aisha asks.  

“Yeah, I think they are. Fuck, I need to crack this shit.” Jake sat back down at the computer as Pooch kept reading.  

“Says here that the Earl of Strat... Strut... Stat... shit what is this word?” He showed Aisha.  

“Statham.” She took the tablet. “Says that he has begun courting and that its serious, but they don’t name the woman. Just that she is close to the crown...” she trails off.  

Jake stops typing, holding still.  He slowly looks at Aisha and Pooch. “You don’t think...” 

“It could be anyone Jake.”  

“She wouldn’t do this to me, would she?” 

“No, of course no. Jake,” Pooch grabs his shoulders, “Jake, look at me. She loves you. She was devastated at having to be pulled from you. This has to be her family not her.”  

“She’s mine,” he whispers.  “I have to fix this.”  He taps on the keyboard again before grabbing his mug of coffee and launching it at the wall. “Fuck! I just want to talk to her. To let her know I’m still here.”  He dropped his head into his hands.  

“You can,” Pooch says.  

“What?” Jake looked at him. “She lost her phone. I don’t...” 

“I slipped one into her bag.” Pooch shrugged. “To track her just in case.” Jake jumped up and hugged Pooch hard. “Get off me man.  

“Can’t do that Poochy. Gimme.”  

Pooch laughed and handed him the phone.  “Its encrypted and hopefully still charged.”  

Jake selected the contact and let it ring.  

Sam heard the ringing, but she couldn’t figure out where it came from. Her phone had been lost in the race to safety and she didn’t want to use the in house phone in case anyone was listening.  She went to the closet and the ringing got louder.  She searched the bag she had brought from home and found a phone.  She answered the unknown number. “Hello?” 

“Princess.” 

“Jake? JJ? Is that you?” 

“Sam, oh god its you.”  

“Jakey,” she cried. “I miss you so much”.  

“I miss you too Princess.  How are you?” 

“Tired and scared. Frustrated with my family. Jake, when are you coming?” 

“As soon as I can, love. We almost have it.”  Jake swallowed. “I heard you’re being presented tomorrow.”  

“Yeah,” she said softly. “I hate it. The dress is itchy and my crown is heavy. Would rather stay in your Petunias shirt.”  

“Hey, you have my shirt,” Jake said, making Sam giggle.  “That’s my favorite sound baby. We got a couple of articles about life in England.”  

“I bet.”  

“Are they making you date someone else?” Jake listened as Sam sniffled on the phone.  “Oh.”  

“I don’t want to Jake, I promise. I told them I am in love with you, and I would rather be locked up than let you go.  I promise JJ, I only want you.”  

“I thought that’s what you would say Sam. Fuck, I miss you in my arms.”  

“I want to be there with you.”  

“I’ll find a way Sam I promise. Your knight.”  

“I love you Jakey.”  

“I love you Sammy. I’ll call again tomorrow, ok?” 

“Ok. Bye.” 

Jake hung up, feeling better about the situation.  As he took a moment, the computer binged.  He looked down.  “Son of a bitch, I knew it.”  He took the computer to Clay. “We need to get to Fowler and Hart.”  

Clay read over the details.  “Hot damm Jensen, good work.  Let’s go rescue your girl.” 

Sam was primed and primped to within an inch of her life.  Her royal blue gown was heavy and uncomfortable.  The pins holding her hair were stabbing her skull.  But she waited in the receiving room until her brother called her forward.  She sat, wishing she was in Jake’s lap, cuddling with him.  

“Well, I see our prodigal princess has returned.”  Sam looked up to see her Uncle Edward.  

“Uncle, how nice to see you.”  

“You look well my dear.” Edward appraised her. “For being raised as an American.”  

“It is always a pleasure to see you Uncle. Excuse me.” Sam walked away with a shudder.  She really hated that man.  As she walked, she bumped into another body. “I’m so sorry.”  

“The error is mine, Your Royal Highness.” Sam looked up to see a handsome man with dark brown hair and blue eyes.  

“No, I wasn’t looking where I was going.  Sorry. I’m Sam.”  

The man chuckled.  “Yes, I know. Peter. Peter Cambridge.” He offered his hand and Sam took it. He raised her hand to place a kiss on the knuckles. “It's nice to see you again.” 

“Thank you, Your Grace.” Sam blushed. Her secretary interrupted.  

“Your Royal Highness, Your Grace, it is time for the presentation.”  

“Shall we?” Peter offered his arm and Sam placed her hand. There was nothing she could do to stop this now, so she conformed until the time was right.  

Peter escorted her down the aisle to the front of Parliament. Her father and brother stood on either side. Once they reached the end, Anthony took her hand and walked her to the center.  

“Ladies and Gentlemen, please allow me to present my sister, Samantha Marie Elizabeth Matthews – Davenport, the Duchess of Manchester and heir to the throne of England.”  

There was silence in the room before the clapping started.  As cameras flashes in their face, Sam noticed an odd look in her uncle’s face.  She went to point it out when the room when black, screams heard, and chaos ensued. Once the light returned and the smoke from the flash bangs dissipated, Harold checked on his children.  “Anthony are you ok?” 

“I’m ok,” he said coughing.  

“Sam?” Nothing but silence. “Samantha?” 

Her Royal Highness was gone. 

NEXT

Taglist:

@patzammit

@texmexdarling

@slutforchrisjamalevans

@firephotogrl74

@tinkerbelle67

@before-we-get-started

@bunnyforhim

@alexakeyloveloki

@sunnyhummingbee

@whiskeytangofoxtrot555

@peaceinourtime82

@saucy-sassy-sparkly

@kmc1989

@kandis-mom

@lokislady82

[bunbeeplays]

The Lemon Legacy: Generation 1, Chapter 27 - Ophelia in Tartosa

The house Ophelia moves into oversees the scenic Tartosan walking trails and waterfalls. She's even within walking distance to a small beach, not to mention her new workplace, La Coppia Serena. This sunny haven beats the cloudy summer days at Willow Creek, that's for sure.

Ophelia takes advantage of the weather and starts a little garden. She's determined to be her best self this summer. She actually ends up liking it! She even plants an apple tree next to the yoga mat she never uses. Maybe that'll change!

Ophelia's Tartosa friends are psyched she's a local now, so they're going to show her around the plaza. But first, pictures! Gnomeo, who Ophelia kept after Harvestfest, had to get in on the pic. I couldn't get the lawn flamingo she stole from that museum in frame unfortunately.

Ophelia: Wow, what a pretty sitting area.

Drew: Don't get too excited, kiddo, it's all debug. You can look but you literally can't touch. Come on, we'll show you an area you can actually interact with.

Xander seems to know the stall vendor well.

Xander: Hey, Cam. Whatever my friends want, it's on me.

Ophelia: You don't have to do that, Xander. I'm no mooch.

Xander: My parents own this stall, Lemon Cake. They pay my salary, so technically this is me funding my future paycheck.

Ophelia: Thanks for showing me around, you guys.

Moses: No worries, love. Drew told me we're apparently your dads now, so it's our duty to look out for you.

Xander: If you're her dads what does that make me?

Drew: You're the weird family friend.

Xander: It's an honor.

Xander! That is not how you eat with chopsticks! Bad boy!

Ophelia seems to be doing okay and I've never had her eat anything that required chopsticks before. Be a good example for Xander!

Moses: Sorry to hear things didn't work out between you two.

Ophelia: It was for the best. I'm just happy we'll still be friends.

Moses: Ah, staying friends with an ex, a queer right of passage. Hell, my ex introduced me to my current boyfriend. I'm sure you'll make it work.

Drew: Hey, at least you got out before it got too bad. Before I came out as nonbinary, I dated a guy for like forever, until I found out he planned to join the military and expected me to be his little army wife. Moving to Strangerville and staying at home all day? No thanks.

Ophelia: What about you, Xander? Any recent love life woes?

Drew: Don't bother. The man's an open book about everything except his romantic life. I know more about his most recent bladder failure than his last date.

Moses: Typical Xander, never kisses and tells.

Xander: Would you listen to these two, Lemon Bar? So nosey.

Moses: Our theory is he's too embarrassed to bring anyone home because he lives with his parents.

Xander: You guys make it seem like I'm some loser that lives in the basement! …I live in the attic.

Ophelia: Haha

Ophelia: You've gotta make decent money, why don't you get your own place?

Xander: My parents had me when they were a little older. They're elders now, so I want to be there to help them out around the house.

Drew: Doesn't hurt that they live in a mansion.

Xander: Definitely.

Ophelia: Didn't realize I was rubbing elbows with Tartosa's elite!

Drew: I'll give him this, the Pappas family has money and influence around here, but Xander doesn't act like a rich asshole. Just a regular asshole.

Xander: That's the nicest thing they've ever said about me!

Drew: If you're looking to get back out there, I know tons of single girls. Or guys. Or others.

Ophelia: If this is you asking my orientation, I'm pan, so those all apply, but right now I just want to focus on having fun and making money.

Xander: Sounds like a good plan to me!

Xander: Chopsticks aren't so easy after all, are they, Lemon? Ophelia: Eat a fanoo, Pappas. Xander: gasp Forbidden words, in front of your parents? Kids these days! Ophelia: Guys, can you make Xander part of our metaphorical family so you can disown him?

[ansbobcar]

Darts (OrKa scenario)

Orter x fem oc (my oc Rinka) my friend helped make the shipname :D

Feel free to imagine it as a x fem reader tho if you want. (Gotta encourage y'all to write more)

Anyways I'm too lazy to write it properly I got inspired by too many manhwa scenes and that one kdrama called Nevertheless well the ost mvs atleast so here you go:

_ _ _

Rinka and Orter are at Joe's again but instead of opting to do the monthly endurance drinking game that he won 24/25 times. He suggests a different game.

"Darts?" - Yeah. (fyi idk how darts work so this is like not accuratteeee)

The gist of it is that whoever hits the lower target has to drink a shot and that after x number of rounds, whoever has the higher score winsss and gets a favour from the loser. And if you've read the fandom wiki - Orter is god at darts.

Oh yeah and this is without magic too so Rinka's garbage at it. "How do you do this without magic?"

"Let me show you."

They're both pretty comfortable with each other (I mean they're like fake dating dating out of convenience) and too concentrated on the game to really take a moment and consider how close they were with each other. Like the sides of their heads were practically beside each other with his arms guiding hers. They both don't notice it even when she gets her first tiny win (the dart actually hit the thing) in an ocean of fails.

I'm telling you they're oblivious to the fact they ACTUALLY like each other romantically. Nobody even points it count because THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BELIEVE THAT THEY'RE IN LOVE. (It's genuinely stupidly effective that Kaldo, someone who knows Rinka really well, can't spot the half-lie.)

Rinka's like tipsy at this point (they played like a bunch of rounds) but thinks she can keep going with the drinking.

So Orter wins obviously but he doesn't utilise the favour straight away like she did. (Not yet published EP 7 moment)

He's saving it for when it's necessary to use because she's pretty accepting when she trusts that person to doing stuff.

They head back to his office and like: the two heavy drinkers were now officially drunk.

Orter's open about his feelings/thoughts he sounds more like a flirt/clingy lmao while Rinka's shy (her usual persona is more like a cool older sister type, so her being shy/hesitant which is more in line with her as a teen is like partial truth.)

So mannerism switch from the typical OrKa interaction.

Orter brushes out some loose strands from her face (hairstyle is now down and free) and she's like not used to the feeling of being the center of attention still.

"Don't be startled when I say shouldn't hide yourself. You're pretty" She's taken aback by this (yeah bro has never stated she was pretty, it's a big deal). "Not even a thank you? You're too humble for your own good."

"You're starting to sound like Ryoh."

"How so?"

Lists their similarities until he's like right at her face and she's like super conscious of him. Bro's eyes feel like they're looking right through her which wells up more fear in her than expected.

But it's still calming.

They get interrupted by a phone call by Renatus that a super important corpse went missing.

_ _ _

Extra thought/crack interaction:

Drunk Rinka: Oh god what the hell is he doing up in my face? Does he know... he shouldn't know how would he know AAAAAAAAAAAA

Meanwhile, Drunk Orter: I WANNA KEEP HERRRRR! SHE'S PRETTTTTYYYYY AND FUN!!! I LIKE HER AROUND!!

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

And once again, a day at Family Video:

"So? How did it go this time?"

"Oh yeah, I've totally got a date."

"Do you really, though?"

Steve sighs. Sometimes knowing each other inside out is more of a curse than a blessing.

"That's what I thought. Get the You-Suck-Board out of the back"

"Sure thing Your Majesty"

"Excuse me? If anything I would be elected by the people, King Steve"

Whenever she hears anyone else say one of his old shameful nicknames at school, she will make sure to "accidentally" hit them very hard in the face during football practice. Or PE. Or sometimes just in the hallway, if they have no classes that overlap. Or the balls, if he is a real buttface. "With my luck I would rearrange his features into something less hideous" is her justification when Steve winces in second-hand sympathy. He truly adores her with everything he has.

Whenever he hears someone else use "dyke" or "fairy" or "queer" as an insult, he will glare at them so hard they never dare wear their current outfit again. Ever. If there is one thing years of being a jackass taught him, it is to give the most judgmental stare you can imagine.

They are also not above inventing a bullshit excuse to demand extra fees if it happens in the shop. He and Robin consider it compensation for having to listen to such bullshit with their own two poor queer little ears. Somehow Keith hasn't caught up yet.

Steve sighs. Again. It is truly impressive how much of an effect Robin can have on him without even physically being there.

" Alright-y, Dyke-y."

But Steve isn't anyone else, and neither is Robin. They are Steve and Robin and they are soulmates. It is almost like exposure therapy, in a way. Hearing it so often from someone they know will never really mean it takes away some of the sting when others use it maliciously. Steve didn't even have the designated-self-loathing-hour that normally follows the last time Mike sneered one of his old nicknames at him. (Didn't stop Robin from "accidentally" spilling her milkshake on him later. Steve only felt a little bit bad for laughing.)

"I can still hear you breathing on the phone. Dingus."

"So sorry. I was just waxing poetry about how meaningful our friendship-"

"Well I am about to start waxing poetry about what a loser you are. Loser."

Steve gives her a middle-finger she cannot see but is satisfactory either way, and places the phone back on the table. For a second he considers hanging up for a few moments if only to save a few cents. But it isn't he who is going to have to pay the phonebill and the job sucks anyway, so he doesn't. That's what Keith gets for his blatant favoritism.

He goes back to the phone after giving himself a point in the Gay-Jokes-Board. If she truly wanted him to play fair, she should've come to work instead of blowing him off because of "sickness" or some bullshit. Karma, bitch.

Another customer enters. He takes a short look at the door and braces himself. To be honest, flirting with girls isn't nearly as fun without Robin's silent running commentary. By now he doesn't even expect a second date, he does it mostly to have something to do while everyone he knows is at school. But he knows that Robin truly is at home feeling miserable right now (she even skipped band practice yesterday. And nothing comes between Robin and band practice), so when he sees the flowing dress entering through the door he is already mentally preparing himself for another conversation that will make him cringe at 2 AM and steal his sleep for the next week. The things he does for Robin.

He is not above admitting how he visibly deflates when he recognizes the bright red hair entering through the door. Thank God.

"Hey Dorothy!"

"VICKIE IS THERE?! FUCK"

Steve laughs at her outrage. By now he does actually know her name (hard not to, with how often she coincidentally comes to browse the store whenever Robin has a shift), but he has called her "Friend of Dorothy" so much that it has stuck. He is just very bad with names, okay?! Besides, in his humble and correct opinion, Dorothy is simply the superior name. It suits her way better. One day he will be able to convince Vickie of his correct opinion, and when that day comes, he will be ready to immortalize the moment she tells Robin with his camera.

Vicky comes towards the counter and Steve makes the executive decision that torturing Robin is more important than costing Family Video money. Robin realizes what he is about to do, but her cries of protest only encourage him further. Will he pay for that? Probably. Is it still worth it? Abso-fucking-lutely. The click when he hangs up sounds like music to his ears.

He smirks when he sees how her eyes immediately search out something behind him. When she sees his expression, her cheeks flush as bright as her hair. Every time that happens he has to think about Robin's hour-long monologue about how adorable Vickie looks when she blushes. He realizes that for once there isn't anyone here to stop him from saying that. He may not be good at mantaining relationships, but no one can deny that he is an expert at getting a date. And if Robin refuses to make a move? Well, he always has wanted to play matchmaker.

He leans forward and gives her his most charming smile. "So...do you come here often?"

She blinks at him. "Are you...flirting with me?!?!"

"Pretend that I'm Robin, alright?" He brushes one of her red locks behind her ear.

"Jesus Christ"

"Superstar. So, when are you free? Lucky for you, I have Robin's entire schedule memorized."

They stare at each other for a time, at an impasse. And then-

"LISTEN TO THAT HOWLING MOB OF BLOCKHEADS IN THE STREET-!"

(Steve vaguely notes that they scare a few potential customers away with their musical numbers. (Yes. Plural. Obviously.) To say that Vickie isn't a great singer is a bit of an understatement. He thinks it is only fair, considering he already saved Family Video's phone bill by hanging up on Robin. ROBIN. If they wanted him to care they should pay him better.)

It is only once they have gone through the entire "Jesus Christ Superstar" Discography and Vickie is already stepping into her car that he realizes he never actually arranged the Robin and Vickie date. Rockie date? Wait......

He basically throws himself onto the the phone

"ROBIN!"

A very confused Mrs. Buckley calls for her daughter. Steve is practically vibrating on his feet.

"ROBIN! IF YOU COMBINE YOUR AND VICKIES NAME TOGETHER YOU GET ROCKIE!!!!"

"OH MY GOD, LIKE IN THE ICONIC AND VERY QUEER ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW?!"

"I TOLD YOU THAT SHE'S INTO YOU BITCH!"

btw. people. please tell me your Vickie headcanons. <3

Hey look the WIP game actually works lol

-> tramp-stamp

-> gatekeeping 101

-> anti-heteronormativity

-> jancy appreciation hours

[slashingdisneypasta]

SecretLover!Prof. Aaron Callahan x Fem!Reader || Oneshot

Plot: What the hell kinda luck leads you and Callahan to finally decide to date- and then immediately end up with him subbing one of your classes that day??

Part 1 Part 2

Warnings: Teacher/student relationship and sexual references.

"You want... to take me on a date??" Blinking, you look baffled at him. "... we can't go out." You exclaim, completely incredulous. "That's the secret part of secret affair."

A smirk slides across Callahan's face, looking cocky as usual. Like he knows everything, the handsome bastard. "I was actually thinking I'd cook for you. At home." The smirk broadens. "See,.. I know the rules."

"Well you should, you did help to make them."

"Mmm," He groans, annoyance laced in the tone. "Actually I think that you took control on that- but I digress. What do you say? I've cooked for you before, after all,.. its not like I'll poison you... "

"Uh, I stole leftovers out of your fridge. I don't think that constitutes as you cooking for me- but-- " Shaking your head, you taking a deep breath and think; drumming your fingers against the bench.

The two of you have been getting along better; that Halloween event was so much fun, and not just the bathroom rendezvous, you actually loved talking with him-- but do you really want to let this become... more? What would you even call him after you went on a date? Date is a hefty four letter word, filled with expectations and assumptions and a 'where is this going' conversation that you are completely unequipped for.

Callahan is an ass, though. A cold, manipulative, narcissistic ass. So... maybe... you shouldn't??...

Your eyes flicker up to his face then, though, and your moment of sobriety is over. There's just something in him that you like all of a sudden and the past week since Halloween, you've been all for him. Shrugging nonchalauntly, you give a grin. You cant help it. "Yeah. Cook me dinner- what do you plan on cookin me, then?"

Giving fully-pleased grin, rolling his shoulders. "Let's call it a surprise." He teases, leaning in and dropping a slow kiss to the corner of your mouth, his hand fitting to your waist. "I'll see you tonight- dress uhh... " He gives you a once-over and you gape. Excuse you???- "better."

Excuse y- glancing down at your pyjamas, just a t shirt and shorts, you give a sad pout. These pj's are cute! Hmph. "You know, I like you at the moment but you're still on thin ice." With a matter-o-fact, deadpanned look on your face now, you take a deliberate sip of your coffee/tea at him.

"Uhuh, whatever. Bye." One final waist-squeeze from him and an almost-sincere smile (on one side of his face at least) and he walks on out of the apartment for the day.

~

What the HELL?

"Alright class, as you can hopefully tell I am not an English teacher," Professor Callahan stands at the front of your class after making an entrance of himself coming in (He couldn't quote a law & order but apparently he knows Hamlet- the Claudius bits) and you're closest to him in the front row so you're the only one who hears the next part even though he doesn't look at you. "and to be honest I look down upon and each and every one of you poor hippie losers."

What the hell is he doing in this class?? This is YOUR class!! He's a law teacher- Before you can think it through, your arm shoots up into the air. He sees you and nods to your hand. "Where's Mr Bradford??"

"Sick." He responds, and does not elaborate- he quickly looks back to the class in general. "Now, I want you to do the modules I write on the board and if you have a question... I don't care. Email your ailing teacher. Go."

Narrowing your eyes, you watch him turn and write the appropriate modules onto the board; using your eyes and mind power to insist he turn around... but he doesn't, not once. The jerk.

Finally when Callahan turns back to the front, gives the room once sweep with his eyes and then sits down at the desk to do his own work without even looking at you for a second you sigh and open your laptop to start the modules... awkwardly... and immediately see an instant message pop up in the corner of the screen. From Aaron- the name you put his contacts under when you realised other people might catch a glance of your messages or your calls and you didn't want them getting suspicious about a last name (Or 'the professor', which was another option that had passed your mind).

Aaron: Stop staring.

Huffing, you roll your eyes and immediately start typing out an answer.

You: Oh so you noticed me?? Interesting.

You: Couldn't tell.

Aaron: What do you expect? Am I supposed to walk into class and kiss you- then introduce myself as the professor for the day and expect everyone to respect me?

You: No one respects you. They hate and fear you.

When you glance up to see his reaction to that, you see a smirk slither across his face as he types back to you.

Aaron: So?? That's infinitely preferable.

For goodness sakes. Stifling a grin by pressing your lips together, you shake your head and open your classwork. Whatever, maybe you can just ignore him and get your work done today. Pretend you don't know him. Try not to think about the fact you were bent over your professors bed with him behind you in his teaching suit, well-

Woof... you think, eyes rounding and shaking your head again; trying to shake the memory out of your head. Okay, mind outta the gutter, lets do some work. Come on.

~

For the rest of the 3 hour class you shift between actually doing work and sending Aaron random messages to try and get a visible reaction out of him (He does react, but he's subtle. Just soft smirks, a couple of headshakes... the biggest responce you got was an eyeroll). No one else notices because they're all terrified of Callahan, and are actually doing their work.

When 3 o'clock finally fits and its time to leave for the day, everyone else starts filing quickly out while you casually just pack up your things at your leisure and wonder what you're going to wear for your date tonight when you feel a tap on your shoulder. Turning around, you see Lewis.

Lewis, the guy you went on a date with a couple of weeks ago and Callahan - Aaron, - got weird about it. Before Halloween and everything... sorta changed. As Lewis gives you a cute grin, his tucked into his back pockets you look to the professors desk and catch Aaron the manipulative bastard pretending not to notice the cute guy approach you; busying himself putting his things back in his briefcase.

"Hey, Y/N. Sorry, I know we've both been really busy lately so we haven't had a chance to catch up, since... " Here Lewis gives a shifty-eyed glance between you two, reminding you of the almost-risqué moment the two of you had when he kisses you goodbye after the date. A wonky grin wibbles across your mouth, thinking about the worse, down-right-scandalous things you've done with the other man in the room- nearby- listening in... "But, uh, I was wondering! Heh- if you wanted to go on a second date??.. you know- with me? The new Five Nights at Freddy's movie is out and I got tickets." Oh- he remembers you love Five Nights at Freddy's!, damn him. Damn him and that cute lop-sided grin on his face. "Whadaya say?"

... Oh. "Oh."

You should say yes.

Lewis is cute, and he's sweet (He gave you his spare copy of Freddy Vs Jason on your date for goodness sakes! You cant get much better then that), he likes Five Nights at Freddy's!... and what you said to Callahan (To Aaron) two weeks ago still stands. You want to be married one day, you want something with someone that can last-

... But right now all you can think is that you have plenty of time to find that. You're young and you have years, and right now all you really want to do is be with Aaron.

A week ago the answer would have been yes but Halloween night changed everything.

You hear the sound of a briefcase clipping shut and take in a sudden, deep breath. "... actually Lewis, I already saw it- sorry!! You can take someone else, can't you??"

Lewis's smile falters, but not in a pitiful puppy-dog way- in a 'well damn, that's a shame' kind of way. You like that about him, after all you only went on one date together and he barely touched you. "Ehh, no worries. Maybe we'll hook up some other time."

"Maybe!" Giving a genuine smile, you nod; noticing Callahan at his desk waiting impatiently for the two of you, the last remaining students in the room, to move it and get out. His briefcase is stood up straight on the desk and his fingers are drumming against the leather. He can definitely hear what's being said, too, since he's barely 10 feet away.... and looking right at you both- "Uhh... well I'll see you next class, Lewis!"

"Yeah, see ya." With a last arm squeeze, and a kiss to the cheek, Lewis gives you casual smile and leaves the classroom.

... After a moment of embarrassed silence in which you think about where to go from here... you quickly glance at Aaron for a moment and pull your shoulder bag on right over your head. "Well what are you lookin' at?" You ask boldly, then go ahead and try to just leave. Like uh-yeah-no-see-ya-later-bye-

But- "Uh uh uh, not so fast." You were, of course, greatly mistaken to think he was just going to let you leave after seeing that. Sighing, you stop in your tracks and look nervously back at him. "... what was that?"

"I'm sure I dunno what you mean, Professor." You give him a pointed look. "Just chatting with a friend."

"A friend?... " He raises a brow. "Huh."

Welp. That 'huh' doesn't sound great. "... 'Huh'?"

"Mhm. 'Huh'." He agrees, folding one hand into one of his pants pockets and looking... thoughtful. Dangerously thoughtful. Oh lord- "... as your professor I feel I should warn you, Miss L/N,.. boys at that age are- " He pauses, considering his next words. " - fickle. And inexperienced. And... q u i c k." The last word comes out slow and you want to laugh.

You try not to laugh, wandering over to the desk and looking pointedly at him again. "Sir... I don't think its appropriate for you to be talking to me about this, is it? I mean- " Quickly you drop the good student act. "Not unless you're gonna gimmie good grades for listening to your jealous garbage, at least." You shrug, dropping your shoulder bag to the ground with a teasing grin.

Letting out a chuckle, he smirks and runs his hand that's not in his pocket slowly, wryly over leather of his briefcase. "... what else would you do for a pass, sweetheart?.. "

A snicker slips out of your nose, shaking your head. "You're not really my real teacher, Aaron, you have no power over my education."

"Well that's true... Also means its not against the rules- if I do this." After leaning across the table, Aaron presses his lips against yours in a hot, slow open-mouthed kiss that makes you dizzy. And you let him, in your classroom, where you learn about American literature 5 days a week. You even reach over and wrap his red tie around your knuckles, stroking his tongue with your own. When he pulls back, only a couple inches, he can obviously see the fog in your eyes from his kiss and you can definitely see it in his. "Or, this." He goes on, beginning to press kisses along your jaw and down your neck in a way that makes it hard for you to keep yourself together. "Or... "

Oh, fucks sake here we go, you're going to fuck him in the classroom. Pulling back with huff, you slowly let go of his tie; slipping the smooth fabric through your fingers. Your eyes flicker slowly from his lips up to his eyes and back. "... Professor I changed my mind, I'll do anything for that grade."

With a mocking smirk so close to your face, so pleased to have a girl in a classroom, even if its not his, Aaron holds one side of your face and rubs your jaw fondly with his thumb. "Is that so?.. What a good student you are. Hmm... go lock the door."

"Yes sir." You grin, heading off to do just what you're told.

~

15 minutes later you leave the classroom with slick on your thighs and a warm feeling in your pants, as well a whole new appreciation for Wattpad authors and their vision.

[runninguplenorahills]

if you want to talk to asks, not to drop my haterism here (just came across a horrible post), to each their own hcs, but i feel like you'll get me; i'm SO confused by the popular "Ted thinks Mike and Will are already dating, he doesn't know about El", "Ted will be revealed as an ally" ideas because they just directly contradict canon? as a headcanon i would just ignore it but i know a lot of people Genuinely believe it fits the show canon which is crazy to me

Ted's whole deal is that he's a proud patriot republican and doesn't really care about Mike or Nancy at all. and the only interactions we ever get of him with Mike are not only passive aggressive but also both carry homophobic connotations "see what happens", "our son with a girl"

i know a lot of people have that hc but i Really don't get where it even came from and this is one of these cases where hcs get framed to be feasible in canon, despite there being actual canon material directly disproving them (and meanwhile "you can talk to me" Karen is right there, but nooo Ted's Reagan conservatism is just his casual hobby he's secretly a queer ally parent)

those canon twister hcs bothers me every time lmao. i know you have some Opinions on canon getting conflated with fanon so i'm curious if you have thoughts on this specific canon butchering or if you've not seen much of it

much love and guten abend(nacht) 💖

OH. MY. GOD! Of course I have thoughts on this! How can I not?

It is one thing to not pick up on the queer coding for Mike through Ted at all, but it’s a whole other thing to not recognize/acknowledge that Ted’s remarks are said derogatorily! “Our son with a girl?” is ridicule. “See what happens?” is a warning.

Even the “Ted doesn’t care at all” headcanon is already not a possibility in canon because of the simple existence of his remarks.

If people wanna headcanon Ted to be like that that’s fine but I just wish those people would acknowledge that this is not how Ted is in canon. And it’s just so bizarre to me that people actually believe that it is a possibility in canon, because, as you said, it does directly contradict with what we see on screen. Ted makes derogatory remarks about Mike’s lack of interest in girls, he’s being insensitive towards Mike/almost entirely lacks empathy for his son, he belongs to the majority of people who overlook Mike’s struggles, in s4 he asks Karen if she can remind him when their children will become reasonable human beings, in s1 he tells Karen to trust the government because they’re on their side, he’s a Reagan supporter and he also didn’t care at all about Will’s disappearance even though Will disappeared on his way home from Ted’s house!

Ted being an ally makes zero sense.

I also don’t think that Ted actually assumes that Mike is gay. He does of course pick up on the fact that Mike does not show interest in girls but I do also very much believe that Ted just thinks that Mike is a loser whom no girl shows interest in either. Because that’s something that gets brought up in the story as well. But with the rumors regarding Will and Mike being so close to Will I do think Ted tries to get Mike away from “becoming gay”. I think his remarks are his way of making Mike “not want to be gay”. But his remarks also kind of strike me as his way of coping with the idea that Mike might not like girls which absolutely does not mean that Ted is open for it, nor that he has any kind of suspicion about Mike’s sexuality.

It’s kind of difficult to explain but I personally think that no matter how much fun Ted pokes at his son for not being interested in girls, at the end of the day he still expects Mike to like girls.

Moving on, I do agree that when it comes to Ted and Karen people should definitely focus more on Karen’s ally potential (as that’s the one that does exist) but I also think that we shouldn’t forget that Karen did not join the search party for Will either even though it was just as much her house that Will went missing from.

And no, I have not forgotten that Karen brought Joyce a casserole to comfort her, but that is something she did because she cares about Joyce, not because he cares about Will. And my point is not that Karen doesn’t like Will, I do think she actually does like him, but my point is that due to the gay rumors Karen didn’t find it necessary to go look for him. That he isn’t really worth the effort. Mike’s statement: “I’m the only one that cares about Will” was kinda very true regarding his family.

And while Mike thinks that being gay is only a bad thing if it’s him who’s gay, I can imagine that Karen thinks the other way around. Being gay is only okay because it’s her son who’s gay. And while Karen is obviously lacking in her role as mother she does love her children. She does love her son, and I don’t think that finding out that Mike is gay (if she does) would change that. To me it seems like Karen’s ally-ship will be very selective though, and she’ll have a whole lot of unlearning to do.

Thank you for the ask and much love to you as well and guten abend hahah🩷

[confusedelulu]

I just finished watching "The bear" and here why I loved it so much

(this is my opinion, I have no experience on cinematography or audio or storytelling nor am I a cinemaholic :) :-

It's so human.

Like I know it's a show but whilst watching I catch myself feeling like I'm being allowed to witness these people that are in the restaurant industry and how they're living. I feel like I'm peering to other genuine people's lives and being allowed to watch their journey in a way, their normal daily lives.

It's also very short.

My impatience with starting and watching most shows is that they're unnecessarily long as fuck. They will be like 1 hr episodes and then at least 8-10 eps in a season and it's will not even be that deep, most of it is just empty scenes that don't really add much to anything. You know when in some shows or movies they'll have "empty" scenes that dont add much to the show or anything but they're still meaningful cause they're pushing the show forward and maybe setting the tone or letting us breath or they're simply gorgeous to behold. So you still don't feel like they're a waste of time cause thought was put into them, the entirety of the bear feels like that.

Also I just love-love- how the relationships develop in the whole show. Not necessarily between the characters too but with how we perceive some characters. The one I can think of at the top of my head is Pete; cause when he was introduced and the first few times we see him he's kinda treated like "the loser" and no one kind of takes him seriously and you feel as though he's just a person whose pushed around and just taking it. But then that scene with Donna(Carm and Sugs mom) it really drove me to tears cause he isn't dense or stupidly ignorant, he knows what's up but he's trying to go about it in his own way- a subtle way. He doesn't insult nor curse and he's loving, he wants the best for his wife but he also understands where her mom is coming from. He isn't hateful and we see that play out in while cutting into the scenes of the mess in the kitchen. It felt so real. He felt like Waymond for me just a little.

And then there's richie's arc which we can all agree on obviously; the whole mushroom peeling scence is just absolutely wonderful and the build up to it. And when he was singing taylor swifts song, it just came together so beautifully.

The Sydney episode- like the whole thing was just beautiful. The joy the actual fucking joy I felt seeing her move around and see her kind of assemble this vision of hers to a point and then her trying it out. The whole scence with her father in the diner thing celebrating her moms birthday and him telling her this story of their date. I actually cried there cause I remember having almost the exact same kind of convos with my father multiple times; how you can feel that he loves her but also wants to make sure that she's sure about what she's doing, not cause he doubts her but cause she doubts herself. Their whole gentle relationship which I had not expected at all; and which I love.

And Marcus going to Copenhagen and how at the end of that episode I just felt relief that nothing bad happened. How gentle the entire thing was and how we got to know Marcus as a person away from the beef. How he is kind and loving and passionate. The whole conversation with Luca (the chef)- dont even get me started on that convo- I felt like I was actually sitting there and listening in on a convo between two people. The hug with that guy that marcus helped, how relieving it was. The whole episode was a gentle step back and from all the chaos and just existing day to day. It's quiet and tranquil.

AND THE FUCKING MULATU ASTATKE SONG DROP! That entirely surprised me cause I had to take a sec; the use of Ethiopian music is something I'd never thought I'd see especially used so perfectly for a scence in Hollywood. I could tell there was some habesha that participated- Sydney's family name is also Adamu like. I couldn't find out who though but I felt so proud and happy and I really appreciated it. And i knoooowww some habesha was involved (but I couldn't find out who) and I am so proud of them.

The whole Christmas episode and how -just beautifully it was executed. A lot of families are like that. My family is like that- well minus the fights and knocking down walls with your car part, but the tension is exactly like that when I was growing up. And I didnt feel stressed out of my mind watching but I understood, I understood where everyone was coming from, and how people get to those points that they get to. And it did a wonderful job conveying that. And the desire that you have to leave but the thought that they're your family. And the guilt that some of them probably feel because of Michel's death cause of the toxic environment that was created but is ultimately no one's fault in that sense (like carms mom and maybe carm himself).

The whole Ebari part where he's saying he doesn't wanna change but then we see him later watching a vid in his own place in the kitchen and agreeing and in the background the picture of the 3 of them is hanging.

Again very very human and just life, it felt relatable and understandable. Just came to accept and see these characters as real genuine people as the show went on, like the people in my life.

These characters just feel like people and people are soggy and not perfect and when interacting we don't fit eachother as well as we thought we would and there's friction. And some one needs to apologize and someone needs to be the bigger person but it's hard and it takes time. And it requires constant constant work. And they do a real good job at it. I just love love the show and seeing as how I normally have 0 patience to watch show if I'm not interested by the 4th ep, I will say I will be watching and rewatching this multiple times. Highly recommend.

[mattzerella-sticks]

Remember that episode where it turned out Martin Mystery was a senior advisor of the Psi Psi Sorority? Think of a AU or reboot show where Martin is roped into an “sorority” of mean girls from all around the world led by Mandy from Totally Spies (either Korean here or some other Asian-American ethnicity) as either recurring characters or maybe the show is centered around Martin and this sorority. Either way, this is influenced by Malcolm in the Middle. This started at first as Martin seeking help

I remember the show but I have no memory of the PPP sorority episode or Marvin lol... and then the Malcom in the Middle angle... 🤔

I had some googling to do. And I still don't get half of it.

But it's not like I haven't had my own ideas for a Martin Mystery reboot, so let me entertain the above.

Let's say that The Center, due to some bureacratic and over-arching plot reasons, has been shut down. Not even MOM saw this coming. The main cast all kind of accepts this: MOM, Billy, and Jave with a kind of dejected resignation, Diana okay with it (since she was moving on elsewhere with an internship with a political figure 😉), and Martin the most devestated. Though, at seeing no one willing to stand up and fight, he dejectedly tries to move on as well (though it's obvious he's not happy). And, unlike Diana, he doesn't know what to do with his life after graduation.

Now cut to the college they formerly went to, where Mandy has transferred after flunking out of Malibu University. She expects to take over this new school only to find no one is willing to put up with her mean girl schtick and - though she tried to get into the 'popular' sorority ends up pledging and being taken in by the 'loser' sorority (think House Bunny).

Where Martin's and Mandy (and the sorority's) paths cross is maybe there's a ghost haunting a building - Martin recognizes the signs of a haunting whereas Mandy has convinced the girls to throw a party and renting the building.

The party fails, obviously. The only other guests besides the sorority girls is Martin. As Mandy begins to throw a tantrum, that's when the ghost attacks - and it's up to Martin and the other girls to save the day!

Once the ghost has been dealt with, the girls and Martin come to an agreement where if he teaches them how to be paranormal investigators, they'll act as his 'new organization'. Mandy gets roped into this as well, unwillingly, but decides it's better than being shunned. Plus she can help fund missions. Martin, meanwhile, gets 'hired' as a handyman/cook/gardner/job-of-the-day for the sorority by the college after Mandy puts up a stink.

Along the way we get cameos. MOM and Billy come and give lessons and also act as partners of this new organization. Java, who retired after The Center was shut down comes in from time to time. There's Diana. But we also have an overarching big bad who is revealed to be the politician Diana works for as well as the person behind The Center's disbandment.

We don't find this out until the very end, as the go-between for him/her and the Alpha Gamma Heta (or AGH!) crew is his/her son who (and this is where I inject some of the vibes from MY ideas for a MM reboot) we will see act antagonistically to the group, especially Martin, but in his everyday persona finds Martin to be charming and cute (he works alongside Diana so he deals with Martin by proxy).

Also, during their time working together, not only do the girls improve as paranormal investigators, but Martin and Mandy become both bffs and better people. Mandy learns to think about other people and be a self-starter, meanwhile Martin becomes more mature as he is put in a situation of team leader and counselor. He also learns more about himself, as he finds himself falling for the politician's son.

And yes, there is an episode where he worries about a date between them and the girls (and Mandy) help him get ready for it.

The whole first season wraps with the politician being found out by Diana, and he/she brainwashes her to have her be a mole. We also have the son go turncoat because he and Martin realize who the other is, and he realizes he doesn't want to just follow orders especially when he doesn't agree with the end goal. Except, with Diana as the mole, the politician captures Martin, his son, MOM, & Billy, chaining them us as he/she begins the evil ritual to attain ultimate power unopposed - or so he/she thinks.

Because Mandy, faced with the choice to be accepted by the sorority that first rejected her or jump to action, chooses the latter and rallies the girls into going out and saving the others.

They end up disrupting the ritual and saving the world. And, after the politician's machinations are discovered, the Center is reinstated. However, it won't be run as it was before. MOM decides to take on a more advisory role, with Martin taking lead on day-to-day oerations. Diana is offered a spot, too, but she declines saying her heart isn't in the business like Martin's is, and still wants to move forward into politics. However, because Mandy needs money because, now that she is set to graduate as well, her parents have cut her off.

So the next season can continue the mission but at a grander scale because the girls will be official Center agents while also training new inductees who pledge next year.

Hope this is like something you might have in mind?

[marnz]

Arranged/political marriage au?

wow YES. anon idk if you are different or the same anon sending me a bunch of prompts but I appreciate you

okay I know you said AU however I think this would be EXTRA juicy if it WASN'T really an AU, if it was in fact canon. Maybe AU after season 4.

It's been a few years. They're all in college now. What if they discover a ritual to shut off the Nemoton but it requires that the darkness around Allison, Scott, and Stiles' hearts be closed off. What if the only way to do that was marriage, a symbolic union of two becoming one, the marriage partner's untainted heart serving as a shield, as protection? Which is how Stiles ends up trying to brainstorm who would agree to marry him to shield his heart.

"It's not like I asked for this, you know?" Stiles says into the phone. He's three beers in and decidedly morose after an evening spent in the loft, watching Allison and Isaac and Scott and Kira exchange blushing gazes, hands brushing, laughing and kissing. He'd gotten so sick of it he'd snuck off and was now sitting on the balcony, leaving a voicemail and letting the night swallow up his words. "I didn't ask to be set up with anyone. I do fine on my own. But there's a difference between one night stands and asking someone to marry me. For life, dude!"

In his head Derek says don't call me dude. In reality, Stiles hasn't spoken to Derek for years. He calls and leaves Derek voicemails sometimes, just to update him, but Derek never responds.

"Sure, it's for a ritual, but it's not temporary. Scott suggested I ask Malia but I can't do that to her." They've been broken up for years, and Malia was still reeling from the death of her mother. "Lydia and Parrish are a thing now, so that option's out. Plus, Lydia and I would kill each other if we lived together. Liam is dating some chick, and between you and I, his control? Still shaky."

"So, that's everyone in the pack out." Stiles rolls his neck, trying to relieve the way tension is crawling up his shoulders and jaw. He's been grinding his teeth so much that he wakes up with them aching. But at least he's sleeping. "Then Deaton mentioned that sometimes pack alliances are established by arranged marriages. Typically with old wolf families, you know. And there's this pack in Oregon..." he pauses, trying to figure out what to say. But there's nothing to say.

He has the dim sense that the voicemail timer was steadily ticking down. "I wish I could say no. But after--" his voice breaks. "You know I can't. I need the shield. What if it comes back?"

The nogitsune isn't going to come back, says the Derek in his head. "What if it does?" Stiles says, losing track of who he's talking to. "I need this to work so that everyone can be safe. So my Dad can be safe. You were right to get out of this place, Derek. I wish--"

But he can't make himself say it. He's tied here--to the nemoton, to the house his mom lived in, to the place she died in. He's never getting out. Stilinskis aren't built for leaving.

"I'll figure it out," Stiles says. "Call me back, you loser. I need your address for our save the dates." The voicemail recording notification beeps into his ear. Stiles ends the call and stares out at the skyline of Beacon Hills. It's cold and still and the dimness of the industrial district around him is just another reminder of why he needs this ritual to work.

He wakes up the next day with a hang over and gives Scott the go ahead to reach out to the Oregon pack. He wanted a real marriage, a marriage like his parents had, full of love and laughter. Not a marriage shoddily constructed to satisfy an ancient ritual. But maybe some good can come out of this; maybe he can buy the pack some security. Derek doesn't call back, but Stiles wasn't expecting him to. And he's not expecting to come home from the grocery store a week later to find the Camaro parked in front of his house, Derek leaning against it with his hands in his pockets. He's as gorgeous and untouchable as ever.

Stiles counts his fingers carefully before getting out of the jeep, heedless of the perishables in his trunk. He's reluctant to surrender the security of Roscoe, so instead he lingers next to it, staring at Derek with an open mouth. He's only been speechless once before, when he thought Derek was dying.

"You're here," Stiles says finally. He opens his mouth, to say what he doesn't know, but then Derek speaks.

"Marry me."

[perexcri]

!!!

“Mike’s shoulders instinctively scrunch up to his ears, his posture curling over a little to try to bring himself down a few inches in height. He looks like he’s trying to fold himself up into some younger version of himself where these doubts lie, to make his eighteen year-old self fit properly with the insecurities he’s carried around for this entire decade.” This paragraph is a) Very in character (u continue to have characterization in a chokehold), and b) a extremely big and painful mood that stabbed me in the throat.

The tiger !!!

Us 🤝 Mike wheeler: knowing Will deserves a stuffed tiger rheikedidj

(Tbh cheating at a fair game is Well deserved lol bc those games cheat so.)

also lmaooo at the matching rings of power, Mike is such a nerd I’d die for him.

Mike being afraid of heights!! Leah u are 1000% correct and also Ow😭

“You two have very bright futures ahead of you. Only lightness–no more shadows from other worlds around us.” 🤔 their history teacher tapped into some magic methinks. Maybe some latent power from byler’s previous life? i wonder what Mike was hoping for from her that he didn’t get?

Tbh this is Very realistic of a first date w the awkwardness between them—even if it’s someone you know as well as these two know each other (aka literal reincarnated soulmates) it would be unrealistic for it to go perfect for them. Esp since they can’t fully relax since theyre in public and it’s the 80s. Is the night over tho? 🤔

Also just wanted to say your friend’s binding of THABA is Literallt So cool and it’s awesome that you have a physical copy now!!

I hope you are doing exceptionally well!!💐

Vee!! i'm glad i could get his character down well (something that i am often Very Worried i am not doing for ANY of these characters), but ACK sorry for stabbing you in the throat (metaphorically, of course). i think Mike is relatable to a lot of us for lots of reasons like this, unfortunately :')

Will deserves all of the stuffed tigers!! and honestly after his Vegas comments in the van, it only made sense that he and Mike cheat to get it. like you said, those games are rigged anyway, so who cares?

they are loser nerds, first and foremost. i wanted them to have matching necklaces like in aftry, but i thought the lotr spin would make it funnier. lol nerds

OH YEAHHH the heights thing!! the funny thing is i was originally gonna have them have their first kiss in that scene? the more i thought about it though the more i was like "eh this doesn't feel right," and then it occurred to me that after Mike. you know. willingly threw himself off the cliff at the quarry, that maybe he's a little scared of heights now. it makes sense to me :D and ahhh i'm glad you can appreciate some of the awkwardness of their first date!! again: they are loser nerds!! and it's basically both of their first official dates, so i felt like they'd be a little awkward about everything. to a certain extent, i think they're both trying to live up to their own expectations, but also the expectations that get put on first dates in general by *society* or whatever. *insert obligatory we live in a society meme here*

heheheh some of Mike's behavior is addressed in the rest of the fic (or at least i sure hope i managed to convey it - anyway that's going up right after i respond to this, so i guess we'll know soon, right?). i've been dissecting his character with a spoon lately and it unfortunately bled into this fic. oops

AHHHH i'm glad you liked my friend's fic binding!! T_T they're such a lovely and talented friend, and they do all kinds of cool stuff!! it made me so happy to get, but it also made me happy seeing other people talk about how impressed they were with their handiwork. they deserve so much heheheh 💜

i am wishing you all the best as well, Vee!! i hope you're having a good weekend :] 💜💜💜