#but we're lovable weirdos!

[sirenthestone]

Me, picking a lock for the first time since middle school because I stupidly locked myself out of the house: "If this works, I'm gonna find the LockPickingLawyer and kiss him on the mouth."

My neighbor, wielding an expired credit card: "Better idea: not doing that."

[hotasfahrenheit]

we're back again for another quick installment of weekly Umbrella Propaganda with a lovely new umbrella sighting this week!

i love the leaf pattern on this one 🍂🍁

overall this episode was pretty umbrella light, with a lot of the scenes happening indoors or in sheltered areas outside.

there's only two episodes left to go, which means this umbrella train is nearing its end no matter what. i hope we get a few more umbrellas before it's over, and that everything ends as happily as it can for our collection of lovable weirdos and misfits.

i just really love this show, y'all.

this episode umbrella count: 1

total series umbrella count: 26

(you can find previous weeks of umbrella posting by checking out my pun's umbrella catalogue tag!)

[loveyourlovelysoul]

I really have a weird and difficult relationship with love. I kind of was taught I need to be enough to receive it, to give it away mostly (people please) and to never ask for it or anything much. To settle with whatever I could get and even be thankful about it. To fly low. I also was taught to not be too much, to not ask as I would be getting a no and that this would have been somehow bad (me not being enough ig), to really do not annoy others or be a bother. And that often I'm a bother and too much. And even bad, so I need to behave well and obey, do not get out of a fixed route that everyone considers perfect and good for me (do I too, honestly?) and make everyone proud of me so that I could feel okay and safe. But part of me always wanted more, never really understood the reasons behind this (yes, playin' it safe... but is it so?). I wanted to be seen, to be acknowledged, to be accepted and loved for the person I am, even wrong, even bad, even difficult. Am I really that difficult anyway? I think the main point is that I wasn't taught about self respect, or I kind of was taught it's something negative, as if it was selfishness (especially boundaries/privacy)... when actually it's far from that. Maybe my caregivers just followed their control/anger issues and narcissism, and kind of unconsciously manipulated me and my need for love to please them and behave properly (so that they could feel enough, safe and okay; judging me while actually judging themselves).

But anyway... despite this need for more, I closed myself off from love. I kept giving it away, doing my best, often failing anyway (when others project their needs on us and how they see themselves on us, they cannot accept anything less than whatever they consider perfect and even then, it may not be enough as it's them not feeling enough anyway). I have tried loving, but it never went well. Being blocked, being a weirdo scared of how I was feeling (not fully being aware of that either) and how I was making others feel, I scared/pushed away many people and others just left cause they couldn't get to give to me the way they wanted to. And at times I couldn't even give properly to them either: I think in order to give, we need to know what we're giving, and also to learn to receive to understand that feeling better. I came to think it was better to love people who didn't know about me, love them in silence and imagine (daydream) a fake me (a better me) and a fake life with them... it was safer: they could never push me away but only love me the way I wanted them to (even toxic love, as I thought that was the good kind of love for me). Not sure this was the reason behind my feelings, but I guess? Anyway there's nothing bad in wanting to be wanted, accepted or loved, at all. But it may be wrong what value we give to that act (or its absence) on us. What we make it mean. If our worth only resides in how much we get and how deserving we feel for others, than that's not good.

But love is something nobody knows much about, they don't teach you about it in school nor at home (unless you have a dog: you can taste unconditional love this way, something you'll always miss in your life after first trying it). Nobody is really ready when it comes to it, we all deal with some demons in our heart anyway. This is why we need to be patient and talk, also with ourselves. It's something you try, learn through the way, make lot of mistakes about, feel weird and unacceptable, unapproachable... and then it's confidence again when you start getting a little back again (but we lose it when the other person gives attentions to other people... jealousy is often a sign of our insecurity and fear of losing someone that we "possess" cause we see in them our only worth and lovability; but why don't we trust them respecting us and choosing us anyway? If they have red flags is it really entirely our fault -us not being enough for them compared with the third person- -and is it really so or just our fear sabotaging us-?). It's too much focused on the outside, on how much we get and how "acceptable" we feel according on whatever social standard we consider we should fit into (we just find flaws in us or in others, if we feel not enough for them), but love should start within, knowing how to love ourselves and what we desire and need, and how to meet those desires and needs. Knowing our worth, knowing how much love and respect we deserve just because we're alive and we have to do nothing impossible to receive it (and that basic respect and kindness have nothing to do with a love interest, very often: we may mistake them as so as we're not used to feel enough and when we do... it must be something very big). Doing what's best for us, accepting only what's really best for us: when we don't, when we only want to be loved (even if what we get is only what we think love is or should be and not what it really is) we just fall into others' traps and play games we may not even want to play to start with (be it in friendships or romatic relationships). And not trying to change others so they meet our standards (the same ones we were taught we need so much to meet to feel lovable enough) or change ourselves to fit their likes (they may be leaving anyway sooner or later, if they are the ones not feeling enough for us). I think love is a meeting of two people working together toward the same goal which is learning and improving, making life less bad and sharing every part of it, every part of them (despite some secrets about our past and stuff we feel bad about are okay to be kept). But it doesn't always work, and that's okay. It only means we weren't the right person for each other. It's not that we're unlovable, especially not at all. We are enough to be loved, even if someone cannot love us the way we would want them to. Someone else will, for sure. Receiving (or saying) a no in a specific situation, of whatever kind it may be, doesn't mean we're gonna get no's forever in every situation because that's what we are enough for or what we deserve (or that we're pretending too much and cannot settle or won't be able to find anyone anymore). Do not make a specific situation something general about your life and/or you.

Move the focus away from those people and remember not everyone thinks the same: being pushed away even more than once by the same type of people (cause we were always searching for love in the people who couldn't give it to us, just because we wanted to prove ourselves we were enough for them -but it's not us the problem...) doesn't mean we cannot change how we look at things (us, love) and start searching for love in the people who can actually see us and love us for who we are. It doesn't mean we're any less, it doesn't mean we're not lovable or that the first people were right. It doens't mean these people loving us are doing it out of pity or because they want something from us. It means they prolly are just the right ones for us. And that maybe we've just learned a little more about us, our worth and how lovely and deserving we are. So we're accepting what we really want and need. And are no more afraid to ask or try, even if things still look deeply scary and we're not really sure of how they'll turn out to be. But we know we have ourselves by our side, and we can survive anything. And being vulnerable is okay: if someone takes advantage of us it's not our fault, not us being naive, it's them not being correct or respectful of another human being. It's not about love or our worth. If we give trust, we're not responsible of what others do with that trust. Love needs vulnerability, needs openness to possible pain. Asks us to not cage ourselves: only this way we can really experience it fully and for real. And find what it is and should be for us (everyone of us has their own definition of love, their own needs and all, and that's fine! Find people who share yours, or that can understand them and meet them through proper compromise with you. Communication is always the key in relationships). And please, find people who supports you and your dreams, and don't block you at every given chance just because (prolly) they want to be the best among you two or because they fear losing you (and try to make you believe you cannot make it). You deserve to try, to ask and fly high always.

[pizzaboat]

Idk if I'm reading too much into jokes or background reactions but the "I'm nervous/afraid" jokey body language trope that's in the movie really strikes me when it comes to Nimona

Cause when Nimona shows up she's this creepy abnoxous little weirdo who doesn't mind making Ballister uncomfortable. You'd assume that no matter the weather she'll keep doing her and pushing her lovably morbid weirdness no matter Ballister's reaction

But she does correct herself in that scene at the near start of the movie when Ballister gives her an angry grunt and presumably glares at her because she keeps talking about killing the squire

The animation is obviously intended to be hilarious. Her hand movements and the instant correction of her words are funny on the surface, but when you also consider Nimona's perspective, it had a bit more to it

Ballister's face doesn't show on screen, so we don't see what made her switch up, but that doesn't matter because it sets up this background foreshadowing for Nimona. Her perspective isn't the focus of the scene, so while she's on screen fully, she's more Ballister's perspective on camera than her's

Then I also noticed that when Ballister was confronting the squire and she was messing around and talking about all the things Ballister was totally gonna do to this guy she ducks back when Ballister's comedic body language goes all over the place and she smiles nervously with full teeth

Like, as the audience we're set up to see the joke first, which is that Ballister is frustrated and isn't getting his point across because of communication, but once again in the background we're seeing the way Nimona might be reading things

More obviously we see her PTSD and stuff on display. Actual flashbacks that are serious moments in the movie

So when you take the fact she has ptsd into account and you read her again in those seens it really makes you think.

I don't have ptsd so i can't really compare too closely, but the closest I can understand or empathise with what is happening is with the fact I grew up with corporal punishment until the age of 12

And I wasn't always afraid of my parents or adults at a certain age, but I quickly perked up and adjusted myself when I saw them getting angry. Like I could be messy and all over the place but for a few seconds it could be "batten down the hatches!"

Idk. Again. No ptsd. But that's what I think is sorta happening to her there

She probably just views it as common sense. Stand back from the angry flailing guy cause she's had worse done to her for less

But I just think that's a sad and interesting detail, like her trauma doesn't just exist in some scenes, it also exists in the background of jokes in the movie or regular scenes

[thesinglesjukebox]

HOZIER - "TOO SWEET"

I believe when that happens you can add something acidic to the dish to balance it out (lemon juice, vinegar, blurbs, etc.)...

[5.15]

Hannah Jocelyn: “Feel It Still” once more, with less feeling! [5]

Leah Isobel: This is not sexy! This is the audio equivalent of that one twig-looking Tumblr daddy dom wearing his uncle's work shirt! This is the most desperate balding guy at the bar hitting on you! He's never taken a sip of straight whiskey without grimacing and his hair grows out in patches! He listens to that first Fleet Foxes record alone in his apartment and cries because he never made it as a cool Brooklyn folkie when that was a viable career path! Get a real job! [2]

Alfred Soto: I have never wanted to smell like a bonfire -- that shit just happens if you're in the woods and the rules allow you to make one -- so I don't know what this purring panderer is on about other than using verbal aikido on his lover. On the other hand, the bass line grooves. That this stew topped the American chart says something about novelty. [5]

Joshua Minsoo Kim: Far too confident in its bassline. It's high in the mix and clearly meant to carry the song, but it's just kind of ugly? At first it's manageable: the arrangement quietly blossoms so that every instrument hangs off it like a flower on a branch. And then it becomes too much: we move from one passage to the next with little care for dynamics, as if all that matters is the dun dun dun, dun dun dun. [3]

Mark Sinker: Pretty grumpy the currently active TayTay energy field is requiring me to pay greater attention than normal to the words in a song (any attention at all): “You treat your mouth as if it’s Heaven’s Gate / The rest of you like you’re the TSA!” Old-times Hozier leant instead into a bunch of the most over-known jazz cuts as a signal-shortcut; better by far to be invoking weirdo space death-cults and oppressive govt security agencies to make yr little point -- you’re hot for a rules-loving gal! proud outlaw that you utterly are! “You can sit in a barrel!’ And OK, the serenely self-absorbed clumsiness is actually the same thing either time, his narcistic unawareness the whole of this vocal, but at least this couplet has the free pass of inadvertent opacity. The Hale-Bopp don’t stop!  [4]

Taylor Alatorre: Who wrote these lyrics, the Women's Christian Temperance Union circa 1905? Back then, the narrator of "Too Sweet" would've been a cautionary poster child for the domestic discord caused by excessive drink. But we're in a post-21st Amendment world now, and the more pressing social ill at hand... is that my girl doesn't want to party all the time. It's such a ridiculous premise that it has an unlikely liberatory effect, freeing Hozier from his endemic dourness and letting him play as the lovable asshole, whose assholishness is thankfully of the low-stakes, take-it-or-leave-it kind. The mandatory blues-rock inflections are smoothed out to the point of being rubberized, a snub to purism that proves a suitable match for Hozier's role as the all-too-tamable sort of danger. None of this negates the song's fundamental slightness, but the clever-stupid "TSA" line indicates that slightness might have been what he was aiming for anyway. [6]

Ian Mathers: I mean, obviously it's both fine on its own (if not particularly spectacular) and also weird that this and not "Take Me to Church" is his first #1, but I'm sorry, I just can't get over there being a hit song that finally speaks proudly for those of us that have trouble falling asleep at a so-called "civilized" hour (although honestly even 3 is a bit early, if I really had my druthers).  [6]

Harlan Talib Ockey: To be a Hozier fan is to know pain. One set of bonus tracks better than their parent album is a shame. Two is a migraine. Three starts to feel like sabotage, on some level. Is he or his label so averse to rockin’ out that his most interesting, guitar-heavy tracks are almost always relegated to B-sides? Justice for “In the Woods Somewhere”. Whither “Jackboot Jump”, which never even got a studio recording? “Too Sweet” may not have Hozier’s most intricate lyrical storytelling, but it does have a clear narrative, a strong vocal performance, and an infectious bassline. And I feel vindicated seeing one of his lost rock songs succeed, which is the important part. [7]

Nortey Dowuona: Producer Bekon cannot be stopped. He has summoned the power of Sergiu Gherman (Garden (Say It Like Dat)), Peter Gonzales ("Leave") and Chakra, ("Bali"). Now he has notched a number one hit. Bekon is unstoppable right now. Stop playing with his name. [10]

Daniel Monteshenko: "Hell yeah, another smash hit!" - people making playlists for second-rate denim emporiums [3]

Isabel Cole: Is it really so crazy to posit that a song about an unrepentant appreciation for the earthy side of earthly existence should, I don’t know, fuck a little? What’s even the point of a paean to late nights that would slot seamlessly into any coffee shop’s opening hours playlist? Where’s the hunger in this ode to appetites? Where's the life in the call to live? And what in god’s name is that TSA line supposed to mean? I mean, I know, it’s connoting constant vigilance about what’s allowed to enter, but the phrasing calls to mind someone who insists on doing a pat-down before sex. Similarly, the grape line that appears in the final verse suggests that the titular “too sweet” is supposed to convey a certain untouched freshness, or a lack of life experience, but placing it in the chorus right after a line about black coffee sets up an implied contrast that makes the metaphor feel like it’s breaking, because, like, be serious: we all know the my-body-is-a-temple crowd has been off sugar for years. [4]

Katherine St. Asaph: I said last month that this sounded like a Danger Mouse take on "Be My Baby," and I stand by that! You don't have to believe a word of this song to recognize the appeal in that. [6]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Hozier back to doing what he does best: making songs designed to soundtrack fancams of fictional vampires.  [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[will80sbyers]

Tbh I think Karen and Ted are not bad parents as people make them out to be. People can headcanon them as abusive/neglectful but I just do not think they are? The thing with them is that they are ignorant of what the hell is going on in the town, lol. I think they'd be pretty much supportive and helpful when they finally learn what is going on about the supernatural mess. Esp it is strange when people try to make Karen some sort of an abusive or malicious mother or try to make Ted a Lonnie.02 or Neil.02.

I don't think they are perfect parents at all and I think them not knowing what's happening to their children is a big problem because they can't help even if they wanted to, they don't know what happened to Mike and Nancy except that Nancy lost her best friend and Mike lived that trauma of thinking he did too but then he came back and also had a few traumas like at the school in s1 even if Idk what the government told them to explain about what happened there, + the mall fire... but at the same time like, it's the 80s and most people don't even know how things like that impact your mental health, they would think Mike is doing more or less fine for the time period 😬

I also don't think Mike is telling them about the bullying at school because he thought it was something he shouldn't talk about to Eleven to not look "not cool" when he was little and I think he just kind of got used to it in the years and kept it as something he manages alone or with help from his friends

so they are definitely not paying attention to Mike as they should for his emotional needs in my opinion but they are not really what I would define as outright abusive

I do think that Ted in particular is neglectful and emotionally absent and dismissive of Mike especially for what they have shown at least, but I don't think he does it with malicious intent or because he doesn't care about him, it's the way he thinks he should parent his child because of lack of education and because he's probably traumatized himself from his own childhood

now, this is personal but I feel like I relate a lot to Mike because my parents are kind of similar to his, they are not great tbh but they are not abusive in the general sense of the way and gave me every material thing I needed and tried their best to support me in their own way... maybe they are a bit emotionally abusive (?) but without meaning to... I think they are doing their best even if it's not always enough to raise children and if I want to be harsh I would say they shouldn't have had children in the first place, but now we're here and so we go on lmao

Mike's parents definitely did some things that are not okay at all so I think the criticism on them is valid sometimes, like Karen spying on Mike and Nancy or Ted constantly lowkey talking shit about the things his son loves like d&d, that's not ok... but at the end of the day Mike and Nancy and Holly are taken care of in general and they feel that their mother certainly loves them and cares for them in every way she can...

Mike and Nancy rely a lot on their external relationships outside of the family for emotional support but they know they can also talk to their mom if they really need to... it's just, emotional vulnerability is really hard for them, and I think this is Ted's fault mainly, he does love his children but he can't communicate that with emotion for some reason, in his mind he cares for them with providing a home and material stuff and discipline... he thinks that's what a father should do to show love to their children because he was raised that way

and it's not good for the kids but like, it's not the same as what Will lived, I don't think Lonnie ever loved any of his children and when you feel that from your parent it fucks you up a lot because you internalize that deep down as you not being lovable and then react in different ways... Jonathan embraced being different and the weirdo and made taking care of Will his purpose... Will tried to make himself small and invisible and avoid bothering the people around him as much as he could...

the only reason why Will and Jonathan are not on really super screwed up after all they lived is because they have each other's support and also a great mom and Will has good friends... a good support system is around him luckily!!!

so yeah, I think Karen and Ted love their children and they are not evil but they are not great parents and could have done a lot better to make their kids feel more emotionally secure

these two chaotic babies deserved even more love!

[ara-mas]

the inherited fear

Okay, so something I've been thinking about a lot (too much. faaaar too much) lately has been how we each have some different kind of fear that moulds almost all of the behaviours we carry through adult life. I'm not talking like a fear of spiders, or a fear of heights, i'm talking the big *big* kinds of fears. Especially when it comes to when we're at our most vulnerable. Yeah, these fears can come out in work, in school, in all sorts of ways, but at their most prevalent, in relationships. The level of vulnerability that comes with opening up to another human seems to exacerbate all the underlying stuff going on below.

We all seem to inherit this fear from some childhood experience or another, or perhaps even a series of experiences, or perhaps even our whole damn childhood. For me, the fear that came out of it is not being good enough. How's that played out in my life? In work, I'm constantly pushing myself, I don't ever feel like I'm contributing as much I could, or as I should. Working beyond my limits, to exhaustion. Raises and/or promotions stir no joy in my heart, they just feel like another notch on a never-ending wheel toward some unattainable level of perfection. In school, mixed in with the rollercoaster that was adolescence, it came out as an eating disorder. In relationships - whew! Where to begin? Putting up with things that no one deserves? Tick. Not being confident setting boundaries? Tick. Putting other peoples' wants and needs ahead of mine? Tick, tick. It's all very cliche I know, but cliches are cliches for a reason. They happen a lot, to a lot of people.

There's this tiny little child version of me, hiding somewhere between my left lung and my heart (or wherever the soul is) that just desperately wants to be told that she's good enough, that she's loved, and she's valued for who simply being herself. Yet, there's some masochistic part of myself that leans into situations that make me feel not good enough. Where others would have no qualms saying 'I don't like how you made me feel' or 'I don't deserve that', I am paralysed. I think it's because not only does it give me an answer to the question of "am I good enough?", but it gives me the answer that that category of question wants. It also gives me the only answer I knew as a kid, that I wasn't good enough by my parents' measure. It's so cyclical. If I didn't fear not being good enough, then by merit I would already think I was good enough, and then I wouldn't even need an answer to the damn question in the first place. I go toward what I know, the answer that's familiar, because that's what I was conditioned to believe.

The thing is though, with us humans, is that we all come into this world deserving to be loved, simply for existing. With the only caveat I can think of being not knowingly causing harm to another human, there's nothing we need to achieve, no particular way we need to look, no box we need to fit into, to be deserving of love. Do you think a puppy wakes up in the morning and thinks to itself "hmm, my bark isn't as deep as it was yesterday, my coat isn't as shiny as it could be, I'm going to wallow in self-loathing and I'm going to truly believe I don't deserve snuggles". Nope. Kids are kinda like puppies if you think about it - all they want is to be loved for simply existing. So, what to do about the fact that we weren't treated as unconditionally lovable puppies as children? Spend years unlearning the unhelpful thoughts and behaviours, of course.

For me, that's seeking love from myself rather than anyone else. It's about recognising the difference between pushing myself to grow vs not thinking I'm enough to begin with. It's being brave - to be myself, to speak my truth, to embrace the utter weirdo I am, and knowing that someone else's response to that vulnerability has nothing to do with me. I’m excited to see what comes when things are done and words are said and decisions are made, not based out of fear, but out of love for myself.

If a puppy can be loved just for being itself, why the fuck do we think we can't. If we’re not being vulnerable, what’s even the point.

[roguedeck]

Note: I'm trying something new with deck overviews. Inspired by Rachel week's, instead of getting a long-form discussion of decks you'll know get a brief logline about what the deck is trying to achieve, 4 guidepost cards to show you what the deck cares about, and then a lovable weirdo.

I think this will be faster to get into cyberspace, easier for you to digest, and less prescriptive. The idea isn't to get people to copy my decks. It's to inspire them to make one of their own.

Check out her discussion of decks and approach here.

Logline:

How much value can you get in Boros? Keep your hand full and the free spells flowing. Sort of like a voltron deck without relying on Commander damage to win. Let's see how many subthemes we can jam into a deck and still make it function.

Guideposts:

Wheel of Fate: This is your Necropotence. Aisha needs significant card flow to keep the engine running. This one is the best because it synergizes naturally with your commander's ability to play it for free. Wheels also load up your graveyard for recursion shenanigans.

Sunbird's Invocation: is the lynchpin of the enchantment subtheme in the deck. You're hoping to use your recursion spells to cheat this into play early. Once you do, you get to double up on your free spells every turn.

Divine Reckoning: An asymmetric wrath. Sure your opponents get to keep their best creature, but you keep Aisha. This helps clean up the board without making you too much of a target. Could also be one of the other asymmetric wraths like Single Combat or Tragic Arrogance. Divine Reckoning sits nicely in the 4CMC slot, so you don't need anything else for Aisha to trigger it.

Goblin Dark Dwellers: When this deck is firing on all cylinders, you are churning through cards. You're wheeling, you're rummaging, you're casting free spells. Dark Dwellers gets you access to all those used resources. It's also a good signpost for the blink subtheme. Getting extra Dark Dweller activations keeps the wheels turning.

The Lovable Weirdo:

When you put all your eggs in one, attacking creature basket, you need to have some type of defense. One interesting wrinkle is that Aisha actually works on defense as well (you do combat damage on both sides of the coin), but you really want to be attacking with her and setting the tempo.

That's why you need an ace-in-the-hole to prevent you from the crackback. That's why we're going with Righteous Aura. This two-mana enchantment from Visions lets you spend a White and Two life to blank damage from anything.

Massive Fireball to end the game? Nope.

Some dragons beating you down? No thanks.

Since you're getting all your value for free, keeping some mana open as a rattlesnake of protection is sweet.

[mamabearcat]

Aw, thanks for the shout out @keichanz​ 😘😘

I don’t think the word organised can be used to describe me; I’m your classic chaotic arty type person who goes through rare fits of tidiness, and then everything falls apart again gradually.

At the beginning of the year I had an organisational spurt, and made myself a separate fanfic blog - https://mamabearcatfanfics.tumblr.com/

It’s sorta organised? Maybe? Anyway - happy reading Nonny - and I can definitely recommend everyone on this list as well as Keiz herself - excellent writers and a lovely bunch of people to boot!

hey can you recommend other fanfic writers who write NSFW yet fluffy InuKag? Preferably ones with an organized page like yours :) I love how it's so easy to browse through and read your stories because of your tags :) Thank you

hey there anon! i’ll do my best, though i can’t say for sure if all of them have an organized blog like my own heh ^^; so for your convenience i’ve added their fanfiction URLs as well :)

@lemonlushff [AO3]  @doginabirdcage [AO3]  @dangerouspompadour [AO3]  @akitokihojo [AO3] @clearwillow [AO3] @mamabearcat [AO3]

[jimilter]

Hey Ash!!!!

It's sad bitch Hour, that is its 3 am and I wanted to say 🥺🥺🥺 I adore you so much 🥺 You are very welcoming and accepting Idk why I feel very comfortable on your blog.

I don't typically share my ideas or what I like reading since I think it puts pressure on people, and might seem like you are demanding favours, done to you subtly. But with you I just wanna say them all, no matter if you ever encorporate them or not. I feel like you listen and get as excited for them as I am, even when they are not anything exceptional. The pressure I feel generally, of making the other person comfortable while being on the edge of discomfort is lifted, you know what I mean???

Also, went through your personal tag and bitch cried at 3 am yesterday cause same??? You're so relatable for me. Like everything is so on point I can't😭😭

Lastly the work you put in, in literally everything, I feel like I don't appreciate you as much as other people I interact with here. Cause I am always tired after reading your monster fic. And other times Idk why I don't. But Wanted to say despite being a verrryyyy busy human I appreciate soooo much the hard work and all the sentiments you put in this blog.

The fics are publishable quality always. And don't even argue me on this because fiction irl is soooo shitty and your finesse in writing don't compare. I will literally bitch slap (another thing, I won't be comfortable saying this to some of my friends here either, Idk why you feel like same aged friend who I can just lovepat for saying something stupid about themselves. I am lovingly violent and its hard for it to come out but you make me comfortable, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN???) you if you don't agree with me here.

Idk maybe it's the idealised verison of you in my head but comfortable atmosphere can't be hallucinated.

You write so well and are so talented. Smut I think is a very tricky thing to write. All smut is good smut as is every food you eat. But only certain foods jam into that spot to make you food pregnant. And your smut is exactly that. It's droolicious.

And the story line DON'T EVEN GET ME STARTED OMG, the 1st jungkook fic with the ab riding I read, I have it in my mind at all times. The PLOT?? THE PLOT HAVE ME IN IT'S CHOKEHOLD.

Don't get me started on the asks answer and review answers everything is so genuine and organised that I swoon everytime. I notice your cheeky side as well which is very adorable too. I think you're a very lovable and adorable person in general.

Anyway just wanted to say you're super nice and super talented and I adore you a loot.

Pls. Ignore my new words formation I am acutlaly half asleep by now I hope I was coherent enough. Take care 😘😘😘😘

IVY?????????????????????????????????

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

I---

omg babe??? 😭😭😭 you feel comfortable on my blog??? BABE, THAT IS THE BIGGEST COMPLIMENT EVER!!! please, i'm close to tears what in the world!!! my heart has jumped out and is now running laps around my body ughhhh this is the most MOST wonderful message i have EVER received, ivy 🥺

omg babe, yes i do love listening to and discussing ideas a lot!!! we're all celebrating stories here, fiction >>>> reality so HELL YES to requests/ideas/inspirations from everyone, you feel me? 🥺

AAAH my personal tag is a mess adfhasfdash like me :( but i swear it feels so so endearing and comforting to know you relate to it??? like, you mean i'm not a whole ass weirdo having this complicated thoughts, you understand some of that??? thank you for saying that, baby, you made my whole week 😭😭😭

hey, don't say you're not appreciative enough bec from my pov, every single piece of feedback from you sends me over the moon, okay? 🥺 WHAT MORE DO U WANT??? FOR ME TO SOB 24X7 BEC I CANT HANDLE YOUR SWEET WORDS??? 😭 okay, but this:

Cause I am always tired after reading your monster fic.

^ i'm - 💀💀💀 you didn't have to CALL ME OUT like that!!! 😭 no but in all honesty, thank you so much for all the appreciation you always give me 🥺🥺🥺

omggg "publishable quality"??? i wanna scream but now that i've been threatened by a bitch slap *gulp* (which i love btw PLS speak your heart out, we love unfiltered emotions in this space 😭), i am forced to keep my mouth sealed and thank you 😩 but like:

PLEASE! STOP!!!

i'm wheezing but also crying HELP???

All smut is good smut as is every food you eat. But only certain foods jam into that spot to make you food pregnant. And your smut is exactly that. It's droolicious.

NEVER heard of such an analogy before but i'm into it 😩✋ and i LOVE the word droolicious, petition to add it to all dictionaries, pronto!!! thank you so so much, my lovely baby 🥺 smut is definitely hard to write. i didn’t feel confident enough to even try my hand at it until like 2018. (i turned 18 in 2015 and was definitely reading smut after that for over 3 years before i ever wrote it) but hearing compliments such as this makes it a little easier to manage, you know? 😭❤

ahhhhhhhh the abs riding istg it was SO last minute!!! i was writing that second smut scene which wasn’t even that huge, just meant to be there in the background (to sort of portray the dynamics between those two) while they talked abt the next step in the escape plan. but then i started to envision the scene and realized that - if i were oc, there’s no chance in HELL i wouldn’t have ridden those abs 😐 and so it happened 😭 THANK YOU SO MUCH, BABY!!! ❤❤❤

omg i always try to be completely honest when i respond to people so it’s amazing to know you find my responses genuine 🥺 take this, for example. i am literally writing a letter to you comprising whatever comes to my mind abt the things you’ve talked abt 😭

Anyway just wanted to say you're super nice and super talented and I adore you a loot.

^ same to you, back to you, i adore you MORE 😤🥺❤

okay??? good. 😌❤

you cannot comprehend how MUCH this ask means to me!!! especially currently when i’m going through multiple existential crises in the span of a day 😭 thank you for being the absolute sweetheart, ivy baby, and writing me this. i am always going to think about your words, they will get me through sad hours, you know? 🥺

i love you so so so SO much, babe. you’re so precious oh GOD 😭❤

[bisluthq]

I think this is what we're discussing the other day that even though karlies work is amazing, I don't see it as being genuine or as genuine as bellas if compared. Idk if that's because of their personalities where karlie seems a bit cold and Bella is this cool sweet lovable girl so when you see them posting or talking stuff you think one is "more" genuine than the other but yeah dk if public persona factors into it but I feel the difference is because of that tbh or because karlie married into unlikable family so that soils the way people view her and her work

Look, I think it comes down to Bella being Cool™️ and Karlie is the definition of uncool. Nothing Karlie does ever seems cool lol. That’s why I lol @ Swifties who say Taylor was jealous of how cool Karlie is because Karlie is literally the biggest weirdo dork (quite literally at 6’2) ever. Tay and her defs bonded over not fitting in but like Tay *is* cool and Karlie can never be.

[gyavaforradalmar]

crazy ex girlfriend really just said fuck standard sitcom friend groups consisting of 5-7 people, we're gonna give you like twenty lovable weirdos and you're gonna care about every single one of them

[plutoswrath]

Ok, i have to say this.

Dear Luca, you're one of my favorite tumblr astrologers, if not THE MOST favoritEST.(we're ignoring the obvious language mistakes for the sake of expression)

You really take your time to respond all the questions you get and you're so detailed in your answers, it makes me cry. (in a good way)

You don't judge the person who's asking (even if it's a "dumb" question).

[Well, we all say there are no dumb questions, but there are those some people ask... we keep our mouth shut tho.]

Anyway, i was going to congratulate you for being so dedicated and giving (with the information and time). It's obvious that you really focus on answering as exact and whole as possible. Are you a perfectionist by any chance? :))

I feel so free to ask you anything and share my experiences, since you're much more accepting with the long unnecessary asks, although i do it always anonymous. (i am the weirdo with sagittarius venus in 4th and the beauty of female bodies)

Perhaps you often see me in your notifications too.

I think it might also be because i already know a Luca irl and... i guess i'm biased.

Anyway, keep up the good work and attitude towards the beginners around here, that makes you so lovable.

I’m not going to lie, this even made tear up a little bit, thank you so so so much for these absolute kind and genuine words!!!! While I do this for myself because it is fun and one of my passions, it of course feels always nice to get some feedback and of course encouraging messages like this one!! 

Haha, I am an extreme perfectionist, that’s why my replies take a while sometimes, because I don’t like half assing things. I try to answer as best as possible at least, and I don’t to keep anyone in a bubble of illusion here: of course there are question that either go against my guidelines or are just very...bizzare (?), so there are defenitely asks I don’t answer at times. In the past as I started out this blog (many..many years ago asdfghj I’m so OLD) I’ve allowed too much on here and it really stressed me out, so I’m a bit stricter now but only to create a respectful safespace for everyone (including me of course hehe). And it really warms my heart to hear that you feel safe enough to asks freely and share your experiences, really! I actually don’t know who you could be based on my notifications, but let me just say that I didn’t perceive you as weird for that ask haha, I related a lot to you, so if anything, that would make us two weirdos <33 

Thank you again for being so absolutely kind and blessing my night with this!! Take care and stay safe dear!! 💞💞

(and I don’t know if you’re listening to nct or if you’re into kpop in general, but regardless...Doyoung has a present for you...here..take this..it’s for you <33)

[messinwitheddie]

oh,, what an interesting change of attitude in both zim and ferocity

(They both have a lot to process.)

*after a long, awkward sex ed lecture*

Dib "Ferocity, Scathe AND Handoverfist?! *Laughs* I always miss the good shit! Wow, today took a turn. I'm so proud of you, man."

Zim "Glad YOU find this so amusing! I'm humiliated!"

Dib "Aw, come on; This is hysterical! Look at you hopping on that bi-cycle. I love it!"

Zim "I would never be caught dead on such a primitive vehicle!"

Dib "No, Zim, there's no-- It's a lame sibling joke between Gaz and I because, you know, we're both bisexual; she's just on the gayer end of the spectrum and I'm on the straighter... nevermind."

Zim "Can we focus on ME for once?! I made a fool of myself! The entire swarm thinks I'm this neurotic, defective WEIRDO now!!"

Dib "You let that cat out of the bag the day we met the swarm."

Zim "What cat?! Why are there cats on bicycles?!"

Dib "Zim--The fuck, man? You must have a better grasp on English idioms by now."

Zim "I can never show my face in Mem's hive again! I may as well stumble aimlessly through the wilderness until a predator of somekind eats me."

Dib "I think you're making a bigger deal out of this than necessary. What you did, what you're feeling, it's natural."

Zim "NOT for me! Irkens aren't supposed to feel ...these feelings and even if we do, we DO NOT act on them!"

Dib "I know that's bullshit. YOU know that's bullshit and the entire Irken species knows that's bullshit. You guys have been brainwashed into suppressing your carnal natures by your control brains."

Zim "If what I did isn't "wrong" or indecent then why do I feel so terrible?"

Dib "I mean-- you might have pitted two sisters against each other; that never ends well."

Zim "A fight to the death over Zim's affection? That's arousing-- tragic. Arousing. Shit!"

Dib *chuckled* "I doubt they will fight "to the death" over you. Both of them just might end up hating your spooch."

Zim "No...Zim is much too charming and lovable."

Dib "Oh my God..." *laughs*

Zim "And Hoff is always an option."

Dib "He already hates you, man."

Zim "He's coming around."

Dib "I envy you."

Zim "You should, you really should."

Dib "So what did Mem say about all this?"

Zim "...In short, what you said. This is natural. We just have to ignore our impulses or risk facing the repercussions...It was more in depth than that, but, I would rather not discuss it with you, Dib-human. No offense. I...I would rather block this entire experience out of my consciousness entirely. It will take some effort, but I can do it."

Dib "That's fine. See? Kissing three people is hardly the worst thing you've ever done. Just don't do what I did and knock u-- impregnate a girl. You'll be... you'll figure it out."

Zim "Don't worry, Human. Zim has no desire or intentions to do...THAT unless necessary."

Dib "Your species is weird, Zim."

Zim "And likewise, yours, human."

Dib "When are you leaving to find the Sage?"

Zim "Right after you leave for Earth."

Dib "You don't want to part with Mem and her swarm on bad terms."

Zim "I DON'T?!! How have I navigated through the uncharted cosmos without your insight, Dib? How?!"

Dib "Fucking talk to them before you leave, drama-queen supreme."

Zim "Zim does not accept that title."

Dib "But you wear the crown so proudly."

Zim "What am I supposed to say to them?"

Dib "I don't know. How you feel, I guess."

Zim "I'm not sure how I feel. I'm not sure I feel anything."

[travllingbunny]

THIS.

I can't wait to see how the upcoming movie will be marketed the next year. Collins wrote this book to be as resistant as possible to the usual BS misinterpretations and shitty marketing of The Hunger Games:

oh you want to be entertained by the Games? This is all this "action-adventure" YA franchise is about, right? Bad news for you: the Games themselves are brutal, unglamorous, and take up less than 1/3 of the story (more like half of even that, since there' are more interesting things happening before, in and around the Games than during the Games).

the romance is doomed and we pretty much know it from the beginning, and unlikely to make one feel warm and fuzzy in your shipper hearts. It's just about getting to see how it's going to go wrong. (Alternatively, if you're one of those people who are like "romance was never important in THG, I see that because I'm cool and not like thrse stupid shippers" - sorry, the romance is really central to the story, as it reflects the themes of the story and the emotional and ethical development of the protagonist... i.e., for the same reasons it was pretty central in the original trilogy too.)

I'd love to see Hollywood and the media try to spin this into another "big YA love triangle" thing, because that would be absolutely hilarious. Sure, there is a sort of love triangle situation there, but it feels almost like Collins is taking the piss there going: OK, let's see you try to make this into another "Team A or Team B" thing. Good luck with that... :D (also, good job, Suzanne Collins, for managing to write an ex-boyfriend who somehow manages to be even less likable than Coriolanus fucking Snow, even while we're in the latter's head witnessing how deceptive, selfish and possessive he is. Amazing)

Or if you happen to be one of those people who thought it was so much fun to watch all those Capitol weirdos in ridiculous makeup and OTT colorful clothes, which made it so easy to forget any real world parallels and see them as the Other in the story: get ready to see a Capitol that looks normal and that's incredibly familiar. Get ready to see the world from their perspective and see that they are just like us, to see them rebuilding after a devastating war, see their incredible hatred and dehumanization of the people in the District - and understand the reasons why they developed that hatred and the need to label the District people as "animals" as a result of their own hardships and horrible experiences that made them into "animals".

Speaking of which, if you did your best to ignore the political commentary in THG, well, it's back and it's even more biting and in your face and hard to ignore.

I often hear fans complain about plotlines in various shows etc. that "no one asked for". I never liked that expression (even when it's just someone trying to point out to plorlines that were objectively bad and just done for the sake of pissing off fans - the problem with these plots is that they are bad, not that fans weren't asking for them). But in fact, writers should not be writing things that people 'asked for" (just like they shouldn't be writing things just to be edgy and piss people of).

Suzanne Collins saw fans asking for a prequel about Haymitch's games, about Finnick and Annie, about Mags, more of our lovable heroes opposing the oppression and evil of the Capitol, and ignored it, because she's done that and there was no reason to do it again. Instead she said "I'll give you what none of you asked for, the story about the coming of age of the franchise's evil tyrant and about that fourth Victor from District 12 that was mentioned once in the first book and not even by name - because I've got things to say" and this is why The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes is a great book.

The Hunger Games was never about the Games or the romance, and that’s what so many people seem to forget. I see so many hg fans focusing on Everlark and nothing else, or talking about how they wanted Suzanne Collins’ new book to be about  Finnick’s Games, or Mags’ Games, or Haymitch’s Games, and while that’s all fine and dandy, I can’t help but feel as if they are missing the entire point.  With the Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes, I think Suzanne Collins expressed that. She made the Games unglamorous and brutal, broke up the lovers of the story, showed how despicable and callous the Capitol and Capitol people were from the very beginning and how easily they disregarded and used the District people, and overall made one be always aware of things that in the Hunger Games could be glazed over in the favor of pomp and show.   Why want more romance or another detailed story of the Games? That’s exactly what a Capitolite would want. 

[threeopennames]

HP1C1

For the first chapter of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone (because I'm American so I have the more EXCITING title because philosophers are clearly terrible) we get a point of view story from the nasty old Uncle's life. We are essentially told that the Dursley's are ugly and unlikable. We're also told a bunch of weirdos in cloaks were running around the streets all day. We're introduced to the totally not a slur word Muggles, and some other associated vaguely supernatural stuff that we're meant to look back on and go 'oh, THAT'S what that was!'

Overall, none of this is bad. From a child's perspective (or maybe just my own childhood memories) you might not retain everything you read and recognize it being reincorporated later. If you do pay attention, you get some tiny little payoffs, and if you don't, you get a payoff when you re-read the story. The author does this a lot throughout, actually, and it's honestly a neat trick that I love seeing every single time. I like being rewarded for paying attention, but also not necessarily left confused if I missed something important. Background fluff that both provides flavor to the text AND alludes to future events lets you double dip in your story, saving on precious word count. I like this.

In addition we get maybe the most normal interpretation of the Dursley's in the whole series (though this might not be true, I'm relying on my memory of the other books here). Vernon, the uncle, is clearly an annoying jerk, but he does his best to try and not upset his wife by bringing up painful family issues. This actually comes up later! Mrs. Dursley, or Petunia, is shown as being very uptight and rude and bears some ill will towards her sister and her sister's family. An adult might expect that to mean there's a reason for it, while a child will probably just think 'oh she's the mean one' and move on. It's a decent bit of setup, and makes us expect a good payoff later. Standard, but cleanly executed stuff.

Not so great are what I can only describe as the baby hating scenes. The son of Vernon and Petunia is Dudley, who is portrayed as a right proper asshole even though he's like, a year old in the story so far. This seems like a weird choice to me. Nobody has any real control over themselves as a baby, you can't hold someone accountable for stuff they did before they even had object permanence. Yet we're being primed here to hate on Dudley, because of things he did as a literal baby. Very strange!

In addition, despite the not very subtle attempts to paint the Dursleys as really awful people, we're shown that Petunia is a devoted and doting mother. Which, is like, a good thing, right? We're shown and mostly told that Vernon loves Petunia, that Petunia loves Vernon, and they both love their son, and even their intense bitter insular nastiness revolves around protecting one another. Like, that's not ideal behavior obviously, but they aren't (yet) irredeemable. Petunia says she had a lovely day, and enjoyed talking with the neighbors, and Vernon hesitates to give her bad news because he cares about his wife's well being. It sounds like a fairly healthy relationship! It's weird to have these warm domestic scenes in between the bitterly cynical ones, because I'm being primed to hate the Dursleys as an example of a horrible family, but also being shown they're still very human and affectionate. It's a weird mix.

Now I spent a bunch of time on the Dursleys, because they obviously dominate the early chapters, but not so much on the two and a half wizards that show up in this chapter. We have Dumbledoor, who shows up to be the lovable slightly crazy Merlin type. We're introduced to McGonagall, the woman, so she's the one who will be crying later. And on the tail end we're introduced to Hagrid, who is effectively one of the two real main characters of the story. Hagrid also cries, to the author's credit.

The actual story isn't very complicated here. We get characterization of the Dursley's, so you can start hating them. The good guy wizards meet up, and drop a baby on their doorstep while also dropping some lore about a bad guy named Voldemort who killed Harry's parents. Sirius Black gets named dropped as the guy who gave Hagrid his motorcycle, Dumbledoor says it's good to scar children, McGonagall says 'yo this family is hella garbo, you sure about this', and since Dumbledoor is an omniscient god he's totally cool with it. We end with probably a very unintentionally funny line about Harry Potter being 'the boy who lived'. Because he's only major positive contribution to the story from here on out is going to be being a warm body. How exciting!