#but we have made much progress in our understanding of what the cold is

[triptychofvoids]

Hey you’re a guy of science!

Could you explain on how the common cold works? Like how do you catch it?

the common cold is not one single virus, but rather hundreds of different types (a handful of 'main' viruses with hundreds of different subtypes and mutations), but the most common cause of colds in many cases is the rhinovirus and its many many many variants! rhinovirus is a respiratory infection that is spread primarily through the air, and you can see how this tends to be a problem, because we do unfortunately need to breathe.... there are several different ways you can catch the cold, but most often it tends to be either direct transmition through the air or through phsysical proximity (being indoors with someone who is infected and breathing it in, or directly touching or perhaps kissing someone who is sick for example), or indirect transmission, such as touching a surface which the virus has spread to and then touching your mouth or nose. the virus can then of course very easily find its way into your respiratory tract and begin to multiply and so on...

if you are sick with some form of respiratory illness, it is highly recommended to wear a mask while in public spaces to avoid spreading said illness to others! and, if you arent sick but would like to take some basic precautions to avoid it, remembering to wash your hands and to avoid contact with someone who you know is sick until they have recovered is a good start!

[meidiary]

( 📁 ) THEY ENTERTAIN ANOTHER WOMAN FOR TOO LONG

synopsis: instead of them being jealous, this time you are because of their attention being focused on someone else 🤧

characters: zoro, luffy & sanji!

warnings: female terms used in zoro's & sanji's <3, nicknames + swearing, angst for sanji

mei's note: my previous post had an accidental angsty ending for luffy so i'll be posting a happy one soon! <3

⟶ @ahseyy request: ... And i have this idea 🤧 we had that the OP boys are jealous, sooooo obviously we need that Yn is jealous! ...

☆ "they're just friends!" usopp's words kept ringing in your mind as you stare at ZORO and his ex-girlfriend.. you and the rest of the strawhat crew had stopped sailing, planning to settle a bit on the island you came across. oh, how you deeply regret telling luffy that "this seems like a good place for us to stay in and regain our energy!" now you're stuck witnessing this situation play out, having you completely engrossed in it.

☆ usopp, having a sixth sense for drama, immediately noticed the lack of your presence as a result of you spying observing zoro and his ex.

☆ "are you done spying on your boyfriend?" he chuckles seeing your startled expression. "i'm not spying on him! i'm just-" you see her playfully slap his bicep, earning a displeased look on your face. "why is he even speaking to her for so long? it's not like they left at the best terms.." you blurt out, sighing after seeing usopp's sly smirk.

☆ you know he thinks you're an obsessively jealous person, but you can't find it in you to care because there she goes touching him again! the worst of it all is that zoro doesn't seem to be bothered by it.. your eyebrows furrow as you keep witnessing them smiling way too much, standing way too close, being way too touchy, and the worst of all; they're talking way too soft for you to eavesdrop!

"that's it, i'm going over there!" you utter annoyed, dropping the mop you were holding for the past 15 minutes, having made little to no progress at cleaning the ship's floor. usopp, taken aback, dashes to stand in front of you, blocking the exit of the ship. "are you out of your mind? don't you understand you'll be labeled as the most controlling girlfriend ever?! just- sit this confrontation out alright?" he let's out a sigh of relief, feeling he prevented a major fight to go down, not only between you and zoro, but possibly also between you and zoro's ex..

usopp was right, you know he was, but you couldn't bother thinking straight while you were still seeing that woman being handsy with your man. fuming, you gaze at the two, loathing the almost non-existent space there was between them. "i'm so done," you mutter upset. "please take over cleaning for me today, usopp.." you left to your room and plopped down on your bed, trying to put all your intrusive thoughts to rest.

but of course you couldn't after having seen that interaction between the two. were you exaggerating? was this normal? is it wrong for you to feel this way? this fuming feeling is causing you so much distress. it's like your thoughts are eating you up from the inside. you don't want to feel this way, like you're the one at fault, like you're not enough, like you'll never be enough.. right after that thought crept up out of the darkest pits of your brain, you heard a knock on your, now locked, bedroom door. "baby? you alright?.. why's the door locked-? baby?" you recognize zoro's voice immediately, mentally being stuck between picking the easy choice: ignoring him and bottling up your feelings, or the hard one: facing him and talk to him about your current thoughts..

unbeknownst to you, you unconsciously chose the former option. you open the door and look him in his eyes, hiding as much of your feelings possible. "what?" he furrows his brows, confused by your cold welcome before he remembers usopp warning him you weren't in a good mood because of his overfriendly encounter with his ex. "is this about her?" he chuckles before shaking his head slightly, in disbelief you'd be this bothered by someone from his past. "so what if it is?! is it so weird for me to be upset some woman is being all handsy with you?! and is it suprising that i got bothered even more by you not minding her touching you? is it that weird, zoro? 'cause if it is, please, do tell me!" you blurt out, almost all in one breath, before slamming the door shut.

you weren't planning on letting it out, you didn't want to bother, assuming he'd just brush it off as you exaggerating.. you didn't expect him to open the door you aggressively slammed in his face, so soon. you didn't expect him to, when he saw you leant on the wall with furrowed brows and a trembling upper lip, grab you by the waist and pull you closer to him, so close there was barely anything between you at all.. and least of all did you expect him to grab your chin, raising it so you looked him in the eyes while he told you "if i gave one shit about her, would i be here right now? tell me, if i didn't care about you at all, then why would i tell her i'm not interested in getting back together with her when she asked? why would i tell her i finally found someone that i want to spend the rest of my life with? shit, as cheesy as it sounds, it's true, baby.. i can't imagine being with anyone else except you. so please, don't you get jealous about girls i don't give a damn about."

you send him a soft smile, leaning your forehead on him. "don' know who told you i was jealous.. but you got to get better sources 'cause i for sure wasn't jealous.." zoro scoffs letting out a "yeah, right."

☆ needless to say you two made up and cuddled for the rest of the day.

☆ that would be the end.. but of course usopp had to bug you.. "hey! i took over your cleaning today, so you better take over mine for the next week.." usopp pleaded, with both his hands on his hips. "out." zoro mumbled into your neck, expecting him to comply instantly. "but-!" usopp began to bicker, before getting interrupted by zoro. "now." you accidentally let out a giggle, swiftly moving your hand to cover your mouth right after. "whatever! i will be back, considering this debt!" with that usopp leaves the room, leaving you two alone, enjoying the comfortable silence.

☆ SANJI is a womanizer, that's no shocking discovery. you've know about this fact since the moment you met him. he was charming you up while asking everyone's drinks and then he went off, flirting with another woman on his way back to the kitchen. that moment you learned that this was sanji. but there's also the caring sanji that'd make you a warm soup when you're sick, tending to your needs yet still somehow find away to make you blush whilst laughing with him. in addition to the caring sanji, there also is the determined sanji; whenever he'd speak about finding the all blue, and all the meals he would cook, all the different fish he would see, you could swear you saw his eyes glistening with adoration and resolve. further, intellectual sanji heavily plays a role in your daily life; happily helping you with mundane chores to the most exciting adventures you and your fellow strawhats go on. he fills you in on books he's read, food he's cooked, ingredients he's used, products he's bought and much more!

☆ you could go on and on, daydreaming of all sanji's positive personality traits, but you're all time favorite would have to be considerate sanji.. the way he could immediately sense from you that you weren't feeling like your usual self still amazes you. how he always chooses the right moments to bring you a freshly brewed cup of tea with your favorite desert right next to it, which you have know idea how he had the time nor ingredients for. how he treats you like a princes and tells you how much you mean to him in so many different ways when you feel absolutely miserable. and, oh, how he always knows when to embrace you tightly and whisper sweet nothings into your ear, until it becomes numb.

☆ so with all that, you accepted him being a womanizer, having the seemingly perpetuous habits of bantering with other women. you always wondered if he'd stop flirting with so many women if you asked him to.. but then the thought that you two were nothing and wouldn't be anything else than friends hit you.

☆ nevertheless, seeing his cheeky smile being sent to some random woman, seeing him subtly sling his arm around her waist as he guids her to the dance floor, seeing him lean closer to her every minute, it was killing you, no more like slowly scraping you from the inside, the bottled up pain waiting for you to finally burst open.

you've been eyeing them the whole night, not once taking your eyes off of them or bothering to answer usopp's rants with more than a 'mhm,' or a 'hmm'. "have you listened to a word i said?!" usopp voiced suddenly, turning the strawhats' complete attention to you. "mhm.." absent-minded, you nod hearing him say something, but not comprehending the words he spoke.

"see, told you she wasn't paying attention," usopp leaned back against his seat after pulling up his shoulders, indicating he was right about you not paying attention to what anyone was saying. zoro, being the one seated next to you, tapped your shoulder, earning a "hm?" from you. getting annoyed by your negligence, he shifted his gaze to the direction you were looking in, finally understanding what the issue was.

to clarify your absent-mindness, zoro nudged his head towards sanji and his date. his date, who was sat on his lap at this point, making the knot in your stomach grow substantially. seeing his arm wrap around her hips as she leaned on him was your final stroke, your last straw. it was your breaking point.. you've reached, no, you've long surpassed your limit for these shenanigans, but right now, this very moment you finally break.

you suddenly feel a rush of tears burn your eyes, overwhelmed with your thoughts and emotional distress. you jump up, hurriedly leaving the club room you were in, not wanting anyone to see you in your current state. you desperately search for a private area where you can cry yourself out of this situation without having people judge you. but you notice the whole place is packed with couples who can't keep their hands off of each other, except the balcony, so you shakingly make your way to the cold space.

all of a sudden, you hear someone's heavy breathing behind you. "darling? what's the matter? what happened?!" sanji. he asks you breathlessly, due to him running after you. you quickly tried to wipe your tears away, but they kept coming! making you feel even more hysterical. "hey, hey now -" sanji notices your crying, he turns you around, his arms moving from your arms down to your waist, pulling you closer to him. "talk to me, sweetheart.. please, just talk to me.." he pleads, moving his face closer to yours.

"i- i can't- do- it!" you babbled in-between sobs. "what, darling? who did this to you?" sanji moves his hands to your cheeks, pulling your face to his, carefully. "you..! you're killing me!" he furrows his brows in confusion. once you calmed down, you slowly tore one of his hands off your face. "i can't keep seeing you with others, sanji.. it really fucking hurts! i- i just can't-" you push him away a little, "i can't keep bottling it up sanji.. i'm done.."

☆ he didn't even mean to.. he was just being friendly, he was cracking jokes, making sure she was feeling calm and at peace, he asked sanji to get her something to snack, he was being luffy..

☆ normally, you'd swoon over him whenever he'd be in this caring mood of his. but not this time, no. this time, you were close to glowing green out of envy. you shouldn't be feeling this way, you know that. you trust luffy with your everything! it just hits you in the wrong place whenever he leans towards her when she speaks. it's like you can feel your heart cramp up each time she looks up at him and smiles, receiving his usual toothy grin in return.

☆ she was lost, abandoned at sea by her very own family. at least that's the bit you picked from usopp dramatically narrating her lifestory. is it heartless that all you could think of was that you hoped, the strawhats and you would drop her off at the very next island, wish her luck with her life, and continue your journeys? knowing luffy, that's the last thing that would happen. no, it's not even on the list of things he would ever consider! your thoughts made you feel absolutely terrible. you weren't a bad person, so why were you being so uncaring towards this poor girl who had lost so much? envy. jealousy can bring out the absolute worst in people. the lowest of a person's nature gets drawn out someone. and that someone now, was you.

you tried to stay away from her, not wanting to accidentally lash out. you felt bad for her, you did, but you also how far you could go, when jealousy takes apart in decision-making. so you avoid her, and just like that, you were also avoiding luffy. because for some reason, he was always near her, always. it's like he was scared she'd run away?

luffy noticed. but he didn't know the reason you were avoiding her. he's always optimistic and cheerful, so everyone expects him to always be exactly that, except you. you were there for him, allowing him to have bad days. he didn't have to hide his feelings or emotions. it was a relief for him to find someone like you, someone he lived so dearly, who lived him back just as much. it was refreshing, calming, delightful. what happened? what did he do? was he too much? or did he do too little to show you he cares so much, that he'd give you the world if you asked for it. he'd go to the moon and back for you. he doesn't know how, but he'd find a way. and now he lost you? that can't be true. it can't. he won't accept it!

that's how you got in your current situation; his face was buried in the crook of your neck, his hands holding you tightly by your waist, mumbling something about how good you smell.

you had told him the reason you were avoiding was because of your sudden jealousy. he laughed for a good 10 minutes about how ridiculous you were to think of something like that! but in his mind, oh, how relieved he was that you weren't avoiding him because you fell out of love with him. it was because you were too in love with him..

☆ you two ended up having a picnic on deck, trying to keep usopp and chopper away from your neatly set up meals prepared by sanji (duh)

☆ luffy kept teasing you about how jealous you were and that you love him too much for your own good. acting like he wasn't on the verge of being a crying mess because he thought he lost you 🙄

☆ he kept giving you nose tip smooches while telling you you'll never lose him <3

MEI'S NOTE: so, uhm yeah sanji's part was definitely something...

... hope you enjoyed!! <3

[yuri-is-online]

Azul totally has an octopus and shrimp plush that he makes kiss.

Who? How? Usually when I get an ask I know where it comes from (or why anyway) but this time I just looked at my phone and got hit by a bus. But you know what annon? You are so right, he totally does.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, Azul engages in some SSS tier simping (shrimping?), once again this is a joke but I am not taking cold meds this time! Please look at my masterlist for more serious works.

Plush toys do not exist in the ocean, the concept of them was something Azul had been made aware of in his research and made note of in land training camp. But of course, as was the case with more things than he would ever admit to outside of a court order, Azul failed to grasp just how ubiquitous and popular plushies were. He had even been gifted an octopus plush as a prize during one of the first Board Game Club events he attended, something he had intended to brush off as childish until he saw the way his club mates reacted, even if he didn't understand why himself the little guy was clearly an enviable prize. A claim made less believable with how he hadn't let Floyd squeeze it, or Jade poke at it, and he certainly had not agreed to give it to Idia no matter how much he had begged.

The shrimp plush had been a... strategic purchase. No really, if anyone asked he had a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he had bought this specific plush that he had to go out of his way to find, order, and watch out for to make sure that Jade didn't bring it to him with the rest of his mail. The Mostro Lounge was always going to expand to have a merch store, and since plush toys were so popular with humans it made sense to have some! He just needed to ensure this particular brand was of a high enough quality to commission-

No one was going to buy that excuse. All the more reason to keep this little indulgence a secret, even if the seller had been confused by his request for discreet packaging.

"It's just a plush sir?" To them maybe, to him this is a painful sign that he should just say something already but he needs to plan for that and this should help. The two plushes certainly look natural enough together, Azul has seen pictures of some beds that have a bunch of little guys set up on them and he's beginning to see the appeal. Maybe he should get two eels? Smaller than the shrimp, obviously, it's the only way the real ones will ever let him live it down. But by thinking that he is sort of acknowledging who the little shrimp is supposed to represent. And they're sitting next to him in his bed.

He takes back his previous thought, Azul has no idea how humans sleep with things that remind them of the objects of their affections, it's filling his mind with situations.  He props himself up against the headboard, holding both plushies close to his face so he can see them without his glasses.

“I was so lonely.” Azul is incapable of picturing him otherwise.  “I really missed you.”  He sniffles, and the little shrimp jumps to comfort him.

“I missed you too!”  The little shrimp is friends with the octopus?  Azul has no idea when that happened he just got them today-  “Let’s never be apart again ok?”

“Do you really mean that?”  The little octopus tentatively reaches out one of his stubby tentacles towards the shrimp, who takes it happily.  “I don’t want to let you go…”

“You don’t have to.” comforts the little shrimp. “We can get married and do our laundry and taxes together forever and you won’t ever have to be lonely ever again.” 

And that is apparently when Azul decides to come back to his senses, just as he is halfway through humming a wedding march and making the plushies kiss.  He remembers himself enough to keep them from dropping to the floor, but they still fall to his side as he collapses back onto his pillows redder than a boiled lobster.

Maybe he should just… give the little shrimp over to Yuu.  And make some actual progress on that laundry and taxes bit.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

what’s it like to be around science experiment!reverse reader when something really sweet surprises them? please a tiny fluff for our hearts?

Jason wound his way through the woods, following one of the interminable trails he knows that you take to get to your clearing. Why you're back there today, Jason isn't sure.

He only knows that you are.

He woke up in your bed by himself and you left him a note telling him that that's where you'd gone. Which was progress he supposed. It meant that you weren't just disappearing.

How did you do this? Were you like a homing pigeon? Did you have landmarks you followed? Or had you just cut your way through in a haze so many times that you just did it the way dancers went on pointe? Muscle memory.

When he got there, thankfully, you weren't in mid-explosion. He didn't think he could handle that. But there was a definite... Buzz in the air. It reminded him of white noise. It felt like a miasma of... neutrality. Like walking through a mall on a Saturday. Things-feelings that just... were.

Odd but not unpleasant. Taking up all the empty space in the air but not suffocating him.

And he stopped in the gap you used as a door and waited for a second, waiting for you to finish what looked like replacing a hammock that a storm had ruined and slipped in. "Hey, baby girl," he said, "you good?"

"Yeah," you yawn, "Just needed to move." You take a deep breath and go to pull yourself back into line. Into control and wince. It's nice to let it out and just stop holding on to it all.

Jason moved closer to you and wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tenderly. "You don't have to do that, you know?" He kissed the side of your head, "I wanna bounce my head off the nearest wall when Bruce talks too long. I can only imagine what it feels like when it's like that from EVERYONE all around you all the time."

"I don't read minds," you remind him.

"Still," he snorted. "It's the closest I can get." He kissed the side of your head again and rubbed your arms. "I don't want you to feel like you have to hide how you're feeling from me. Not like you do everyone else."

"It's just... a lot sometimes."

"I know," he admitted. "But- We- I especially get worried that it's getting to be too much for you to handle alone."

"I get really lonely," you murmur.

Jason nodded. He could understand that too and it made him kiss your temple. "I brought a picnic," he tried, face heating. "It's mostly brownies. And some green apples and nutella. And I brought a book to read I thought if you wanted we could-"

And when soft lips collide with his as you wrap your arms around his neck, it feels like taking a bite of a hot chocolate chip cookie on a cold winter day and the first like of a snow cone on the hottest day of summer. A quiet, simple joy. Laid over the feelings he knew you felt for him. The ones that popped like firecrackers in his chest. And he smiled against your lips. It was a good thing you replaced the hammock- a snack and a nap in the sunshine would be nice.

[tommykinard6]

This blog is here to stay. It will remain a Tommy Kinard and BuckTommy blog.

I’m pissed. I’m grieving. 9-1-1 is my favorite show and now they’ve pulled this shit.

If Lou had left the show because the death threats were too much, his mental health was suffering, or he just couldn’t take it anymore, I would absolutely understand. I’d blame a certain part of the fandom, but I’d respect his decision. But he didn’t even want this. He loves Tommy and Tevan. I don’t know what Tim is thinking.

I know it all feels like a waste right now, but it’s not. Let me recount really quick:

• Buck is bisexual.

• There have been some really important scenes to come out of his discovering his sexuality, including Josh’s speech and his own lesson in fighting for his relationship.

• Tommy Kinard will be a character you pry from my cold dead hands. A gay man who discovered himself late in life and is still living his life genuinely. A man who made mistakes and acknowledges them, but has grown far past them. What a wonderfully rounded character.

• Excepting the end of 806, the beauty of their relationship. They did so much with so little screen time.

It’s not a waste, even though the ending absolutely trashed the progress made.

Resolutely, I do not believe this is the end. I know, I know, “the interviews”. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that they’re misdirecting. Also, they haven���t even written the rest of the season yet. The storyline is fixable if there’s a make up.

Not telling anyone how to feel about Oliver’s comments, but I would caution about using TVline’s article as the Bible. It was a terribly written, heavily biased interview and frankly it’s an insult that it was even conducted.

Even if it is the end, no one has to stop shipping. No one has to leave the fandom. We did not lose. We still got our canon ship and it will forever be an irrevocable fact that it was canon. BuckTommy is endgame for me. I may be disappointed by expectations, but I will never be in the wrong for sticking by that.

Make your displeasure known to Tim and ABC, but do not lose your dignity doing so. Do not engage with the haters. No harassing Lou. You can hold Oliver accountable for his remarks, but no harassment of him. You can call him out without making him the fandom whipping boy. I’ve seen many people latching onto him as the outlet for their feelings on this. Do not harass or bully the writers or actors, but make sure the producers and showrunners know they fucked up.

And most importantly, look after yourselves and each other. We’re still a community and we’re here to stay. This week is one of the worst ever, but we will come out of it.

Thank you, Tommy Kinard, for the hope you gave us, the representation you presented, and the character you were. Thank you Lou for portraying such a character and being such a sweetheart. BuckTommy will forever be in our hearts, endgame or not.

As a reminder, BuckTommy is not the be all end all of the show for queer rep. Hen and Karen, our fabulous queens, and Josh will still always be there. Buck is still bi, no matter what’s next in store for him. Tommy, even if gone forever, is still a significant moment of gay rep. And that’s not even counting the small characters that come in and out. It’s not always done well, but it’s there.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 24 .  Perhaps It Is More Than That

a/n: i feel a bit better so let me give you guys a small treat

tags: feelings in progress

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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Cale had been busy as of late. From learning about the illusionist on White Star’s side to escaping the mountain with the Mercenary Guild and the combined elves. It didn’t help that the white thing somehow got the wrong idea and spread the rumour that he had a god behind him.

It’s tiring. He has to do all sorts of things to get his slacker life.

‘When I’m done with everything I’m going to tell _____ to hire someone to run their county so we can go live somewhere quiet with everyone.’

That is what’s running through Cale’s mind as he finishes his conversation with his family.

“One more thing…”

Or at least he thought they were finished.

Deruth got up from his seat to go out of the great meeting room in favour of a more secluded room.

“Is this something of secrecy?”

“Kind of. It’s bound to get out soon if the situation isn’t fixed, regardless I think you would appreciate the privacy.”

Cale who has no idea what the news is about felt a random cold chill behind his back. His instincts are telling him that his either about to be annoyed or angry.

“Viscount Legalem told me that Count _____ has been unconscious for a while now. They have done everything to see what’s wrong but could not find anything. I have also sent our experts but still found nothing. All of them are saying that they are just asleep.”

As usual, Cale’s instincts were right. He is both annoyed and angry at the news brought to him.

“...”

His feelings are so distraught that he doesn’t know what to say. Duke Deruth looked understandably from the other side of the communication device. As if the rumours about gods’ will weren’t enough something had to happen to _____ the moment he takes his eyes off them.

Cale has a feeling that a god is in play.

But he dared not say his thoughts out loud.

“Our people are still over there. They are on standby in case something happens and will be there until I give the order to come back.”

“Please call them back. I will visit them myself after my business here is done.”

Cale’s father nodded and promised to do as he wished before ending the call.

The commander didn’t know if he felt crestfallen because of his rumours or angry because of the healer’s predicament. Nonetheless, his sour and sad expression made everyone around him concerned.

Some getting the wrong idea. Others understood that the poor man just wanted to be a slacker.

"One more thing young master."

Cale looked at Cage who had more to say after describing the God of Death as a blockhead.

"He told me to tell you that _____-nim is fine. However, I am not sure what he means."

Cage may not know but Cale connected the dots immediately. Everyone can see his gaze hardening at Cage's message.

"That motherfucking god!"

"Did something happen to _____-nim? I tried to check on the Perduellio territory but everything seemed to be normal. They do seem to be more secretive than usual and I couldn’t see _____-nim…"

A look of concern painted the excommunicated priestess' face.

"I'm not sure yet, I have to check myself. But please curse the God of Death twice as much today."

"I sure will young master!"

With that Cage said her goodbyes so Duke Fredo and Cale could talk privately.

During their talk, Cale’s mind became even more complicated. There are already so many things going on and now he has to infiltrate the Endable Kingdom on top of it?

It takes a lot to be the perfect slacker.

He decided to take things one at a time. Prioritizing doing the things he deemed most important.

“We’re going to visit the Perduellio Territory first. Raon get the teleportation circle ready.”

The most important thing to him right now is making sure the healer is fine.

“Are you not in a rush after hearing White Star’s plan?”

“I am, but this is more important.”

That made the vampire duke wonder just what business the young master had there for it to be deemed most important in his list.

“I teleported us inside this room because I know the human wants to check in on _____ as soon as possible!”

Cale thanked the dragon as he stepped out of the magic circle. As soon as he did the first thing he saw was _____. Just as they said they looked like they were just sleeping. As if they just lied down an hour ago and took a nap.

“Choi Han”

He calls out for the swordmaster.

“Tell Viscount Legalem and the other servants that we’re here. Tell them to not come in until I say so.”

“Yes, Cale-nim.”

With that Choi Han went out of the room, leaving only the four inside.

Duke Fredo, who is back to his bird form, cocked his head as he observes the person on the bed. He has heard of them, especially their shocking comeback from the dead.

“Is that Medicus-nim?”

“Yes.”

Cale’s answer was simple as all his attention was on _____. He then got closer to the bed, walking until his knee was hitting the soft mattress. His movements were soft, careful even. As if the slightest thing will disturb the healer.

At Cale's gentle and cautious movements, Duke Fredo understood just how much this person meant to Cale.

"Maybe I should chain you beside me and ask hyung-nim to hire someone to handle your territory work?"

Cale felt extremely frustrated at _____'s unconscious state. He shouldn't have allowed the healer to get out of his sight without one of his people watching over them.

"That seems like a good idea, maybe I should talk to hyung-nim after going to Endable? Hmm?"

He couldn't help but mumble his real thoughts as he stroke the count's hair.

At that moment, _____'s eyes fluttered open. As they did two strands of tears fell from their eyes.

'That fucking bitch, after I'm done with White Star I have to smack that God of Death next!'

Luckily, it doesn't look like the healer would cry. If they did Cale would make sure to remove one of the gods existing in this world.

“Why do you look like Ron gave you raw lemon?”

_____ joked while poking Cale’s furrowed forehead. There’s a slight blush on their face and the redhead isn’t sure if it’s because of their tears or something else.

“You really have the nerve to ask me that?”

“Hahaha I guess I shouldn’t– Why is there a vampire that looks like a bird? Wait are bird vampires real? My ancient power is telling me it isn’t…”

“Ho? You can tell who I am? I thought you were a healer, do you have another power?”

The bird fluttered his wings a little to greet the healer.

“It’s an insider secret, it would be disadvantageous for me to show all my cards when I don’t know you, now would I?”

Duke Fredo lets out a hearty laugh at _____’s response.

“My son picked a good one.”

“Anyways, so we’re going somewhere.”

Cale ignored the vampire’s nonsense.

“Everyone out. Raon put a soundproof barrier in the room.”

“You guys can hang out in Raon’s room next door.”

Cale looked at _____ pointedly at the mention of the room. How is it that a toddler has a room and he doesn't?

“Don’t worry human I’ll share my room with you!”

Raon tried to console the redhead.

“Hahahaha! I’m kidding. It’s actually two rooms in one. One room is for the kids and the other one is for you. There’s a connecting door in the middle so everyone can go as they please.”

“When did you even have the time?”

“I mean all I had to do was say the order and wave my hand. Anyway, that room is beside this one. The first door is Cale’s the second one is Raon’s and the kittens.”

Just in time, Choi Han comes back to hear the count’s instructions. He already saw the rooms they were talking about so he signed himself up as the two’s designated guide.

“Cale-nim I have fulfilled your orders. Viscount Legalem told me that it should be fine if you take _____-nim with you. He is more than capable of handling the affairs here.”

The swordmaster greeted the healer for a bit before guiding himself and the others out of the room.

As soon as the door closed and the sound barrier was up Cale began explaining.

“I’m not from this world. I was from a place called Earth and we had abilities. My previous team leader back there gave me one of his powers called embrace. It’s what I used to get the other earth attribute power.”

…If one can call that a proper explanation.

Good thing _____ is used to Cale throwing fast ones at random times. Being around the redhead so much has rendered them immune to his sudden burst of confessions.

“Hmm, so that’s how your plate didn’t break the balance. That’s good. Now what was this thing about us going somewhere though?”

Cale internally let out a sigh of relief. Contrary to his calm and nonchalant demeanor he was nervous about telling _____ about his real identity. He was nervous that it would cause a rift between them. That they won’t be as closed as they used to be.

Sure he can fix it. Communicate and work it out. But can he take it? Can his heart take being disconnected from them for that long?

Just during the short while they have been apart hurt the redhead. What more when they have to be apart because _____’s mad at him?

His heart wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Cale doesn’t know when he realised his feelings. Maybe it was during the Henituse Battle? Perhaps during the Battle at Castle Leonia? It could even be when he went to ‘visit’ the healer’s family.

Cale Henituse wasn’t sure but one day he woke up fully accepting that his heart beat wildly at the mere thought of _____. His chest feels warm at the thought of seeing them. And he feels irrational anger at the thought of a single scratch on their body.

It was also why he decided to tell the healer everything. He craves that sense of acceptance from them. Wants them to have the privilege of knowing every side of him.

And he was glad that _____ looks ready to accept him for who he is.

Their remaining talk was smooth. Cale updated the healer on everything that went on. From the fake World Tree to the battle that happened in the Stan Territory just a few hours ago. No detail was spared.

A lot of things have to be done. A lot of people have to pay. However, despite all those things Cale’s shoulder feels a little lighter. He feels as though everything else is easier now. Before he would have reasoned that it was because he feels at ease as everything is going well for him.

But not now.

For he has learned that it’s more than that.

He has finally opened his eyes and accepted his feelings.

Accepted that it was indeed more than feelings of responsibility.

[knightyoomyoui]

TWICE x M Reader - "Cry For Me": PART 4

A/N: We're now down to three remaining parts for this series. Hopefully I still made the progress of the story clear despite the word count being minimized compared to the previous parts.  Been months since I posted the last part, so let's see where we left off and how it will go for YN and the girls again on their respective agendas.

PREVIOUSLY ON CRY FOR ME: PART 3...

"Well, I have to go now. I still have somewhere to go, I just came here to remind about our supposed meetup yesterday." Jeongyeon excused herself.

"Oh okay, be safe on the road Jeongyeon." You understand, nodding softly and smiling at her. "Goodbye and thanks for the time!"

"You too, YN." Jeongyeon waved her hand at you, but instead you returned the gesture by wrapping her around on your embrance, sending undescribable sensation tingling around her body. "I-it's really good to have you back, Jeong.", you remarked about the redefinition of your relationship with her. Jeongyeon listened, her heart surprisingly softened as she heard the tenderness in his voice.

Now that you disappeared in front of her and entered the building again, that left Jeongyeon to be stunned once again at your heartful and cheerful action, she sighed deeply and clenched her fists at how tough it is again to resist the glimpse of your old being while knowing the bitter truth of it that you still haven't changed, leading yourself astray.

She watched your back distancing away from her, breathing gets heavier as a result of a familiar longing feeling increasing, having her saddened at your lunch that brings her back to that particular time in the past when she had her first date with you and those other numerous times you had to take her outside before, almost giving the same vibes in comparison.

The next day, you were busy reviewing all of the documents you needed to sign and deliver to your coworkers for arranging when your thoughts turned to Tzuyu, realizing that you hadn't caught up with her yet after that disappointing and cold night you two had.

Checking the mini-calendar on your desk, you discovered that tomorrow marks your seventh monthsary with her. After completing all of the necessary papers, you closed several tabs on your computer and opened a new one to search the internet for the best restaurant to go to on a date with your partner.

Going through your automatic dispenser to refill your cup with some fresh black coffee, you dialed Tzuyu’s phone number and waited for her response as it rang. 20 seconds had passed, but your call was instead left unanswered and labeled ‘cannot be reached’. You just thought that she’s probably busy right now with her work, and you understood that it’s not even her break yet, so you’ll just save it for later.

You then went to another option of leaving her a message to invite her. “Hey Tzu, can we go out tomorrow? It’s your day off, and we can spend time together for our anniversary. You’ll definitely love our date, so please accept. Love you! ” You sent it to her before shutting it off and taking a sip of your hot beverage.

Hours later, after you have called it a time to dismiss as you just played games for an hour without any task left to do aside from those you have completed already, you reopened your message box and noticed that Tzuyu had replied. A grin appeared on your face as she agreed for you to take her out.

However, that wasn’t the only reason what made you happy.

You left the building and greeted your workmates to take care of themselves on way home and some goodnights, you went to your car and drift away towards the destination you have in mind to end this day in a positive note.

Not much of a kilometer away, you parked in a spa that is still brightly lit, along with the rest of the places here and the lampposts beside the streetwalks.

You stepped on the entrance and noticed that the door already had a sign hanging with a message saying “Sorry, we are closed,” but you just scoffed and continued to open the door for yourself. Upon entering the aforementioned place, the room was quiet, the ambiance was soothing, and widely spaced as there's no crowd around.

Except for this other short haired woman who shares the same room as him tonight. You watched her gather all the things that they usually use for their customers and return them to their rightful place.

Hearing your footsteps on the floor echoing through the room, she has found your presence from the distance. She looked around and you matched a wide gummy smile that almost identical but not as large as Mina’s.

She wears a simple gray masseuse uniform with thigh high stockings in combo. You walked closer to her and made yourself relax on the vacant chair near her.

“My special regular customer has arrived, I see.” She teased and hid a smile as she carries a tray along with her. “Exhausted with work?”

“Kinda. Still felt like I need it though.” You said as you leaned back on the chair and closed your eyes while you waited for her. “How about you? Was there many customers today?”

“Yeah,. there’s like some group of women who came here earlier to do some bit of makeover before they attend some event or something. I heard it was a wedding.” She said, still feeling the effects of multitasking on assisting them for massage and beauty service both being a manager and a worker at the same time.

“Hmm. Then we do both really need to make ourselves more cozy for tonight, aren’t we?” You smiled as you watched her approached you. She sat beside you and caressed your arm.

“Are you perhaps thinking about doing it, YN?” She wheezed.

“Oh I have a lot of things in mind.” You smirked, holding her hand and rubbing it with your thumb.

“I would like for us to go all the way but let’s save it for next time. My body felt like it’s about to crumble tonight.” She sighed, slumping her shoulders.

You just chuckled and slapped her arm. “Easy, I’m talking about accompanying you and doing some massage.”

Jihyo leaned aback. “You can? But you’re tired too, though. You don’t need to be if you can’.”

“Nah, don’t mind me. In fact, I can still do it. I mean, I won’t initiate on you in the first place if I knew I can’t, right?” You winked, making her blush. “Let me help you also this time and return the favor, you’re not the only one who has skills on helping people relax and I came here because I need you right now, Jihyo.” You said, hiding the double meaning of it by referring to your girlfriend Tzuyu who wasn’t able to provide your urge yesterday when she went through a bad day to be entertained.

You pulled her arm to place her closer on you. The woman named Jihyo crashed against your body. She fixed her position on top of you, crouching against yours as you began kissing her deeply.

“And also, it’s fine with me if we can’t do it tonight. We can still find some way to help our urges while we give each other some body relaxation.”

“You do you, then. Take me to paradise, YN.”

Jihyo returned the intimacy, dragging her lips along with your movement. She felt her body heaten up with your hands groping her curves, on every parts you can reach on her. It was an easy access, as she’s petite compared to your size. You could’ve manhandled her under your dominance but you respect her decision to disregard it for now.

“I’ll be right back.” Jihyo cut your kiss with her as she gets up from your body, pushing herself away to stand and search for something to leave you for a while. Not wanting to keep you unattended, she signals you with a seductive “come hither” motion along with some bottle of herbal oil and lube she carries with her.

You immediately stand up and entered a familiar private room, the spot where you first met Jihyo after servicing you with her “special massage”. The table is all clean and prepared, she placed the bottles on the tray and not even bothering to have any questions, you just watched Jihyo taking off her uniform from top to bottom.

Carefully concentrating on every action she does, the clothes have been loosened and dropped on the floor. She steps out of her heels and just like that, Jihyo is now standing in front of you, barely naked with fabulous matching pair of red lingerie and black stockings.

You felt more intense as Jihyo smirked at you and she started climbing on the table. You viewed every glorious parts of her sexy and alluring body that wouldn’t be able to resist anytime.

“I can’t be the only who’ll be left hanging here without any clothes on. Take it off so that we can start.” Jihyo sat on the surface and she reaches for your coat, spreading it to slip through your shoulders. Then she proceeds to unbutton your white polo and opens up one of her desires for men, those packed set of abs that you’ve worked hard to built thanks also to Momo’s help.

She licks her lips as her hands travelled through your crotch and sensed something large bulging on the center. “Couldn’t control it, huh?”

“How could I be? You’re so damn sexy right now, Jihyo.” You said breathily as you sneakily glanced down at her deep cleavage forming as her arms compressed with the lustful touches she applies on your groin area.

“Let’s not keep your friend suffering while waiting, start ahead first with my back. It’s where it hurts a lot.” She said as she laid down on the table with her front figure first.

Her entire back frame all presented to you, you grabbed the bottle and spurted some amount of oil on your hands and rubbed it to create some heat, you then began spreading it across Jihyo’s toned back. Every glide, pound, and dig you create with your strong fingers across her succulent, slippery and smooth tanned skin, it arouses you more when you start hearing her hums and moans especially when you unclasp her bra and proceeded focusing on her sides.

And you spent the rest of the night with a much-needed session to satisfy and release your temptations and pleasures with Jihyo through different segments of a wild body massage.

The following day after finally meeting Jihyo, you shifted back to your responsibilities as a thoughtful and loving boyfriend to one of the gorgeous women you have ever pulled while pretending to not have any idea that you didn’t just met and became wild with another woman than her as usual. You visited Tzuyu’s house with her parents and there she was, dressed in a simple orange outfit that still fits her so great as always.

Her visual has this magic that makes her look blooming on every attire she puts on, and ofcourse the other part about it which is your favorite is that you’re the only one who could also take those off from her and admire her body even further.

Thinking that hopefully it happens on your special day with her and might be the perfect “next time” that she states few days ago to do it, you acted normal and presented yourself as a nice boyfriend to her in front of her parents. You excused her to them and brought her to your car.

As she sat beside you, you kissed her on the cheek and smiled at her. “Happy Monthsary, Tzu. I’ll do my best to make this special for the both of us, okay?”

“Okay.” She only replied with a smile that you weren’t aware that it’s full of force that she did with it.

You drove her to the restaurant of your choosing, after winning your consideration through some background check and reception it received from its previous customers. It had you assured that this would be a wonderful location for you to pour your love on this breathtaking woman.

Holding her hand, you had her following you to the entrance and to be assisted by the receptionist. “Reserved table for Mr. YN LN, please.”

“There’s one near at the back, sir.” She pointed at the direction after checking your inquiry. “I suppose you’re taking her on some lovely date tonight, sir.”

“More than that. It’s our monthsary today.”

“Oh is that so? Congratulations to the both of you. I wish you both a well-spent evening here at Twice’s.”

“Thank you.” Both you and Tzuyu replied and bowed at her respectfully.

“Follow me, please.” The receptionist led the way and showed you both the spot where you’ll both be having to enjoy the rest of the night being alone together just like what you needed to be.

You set the chair for Tzuyu like a gentleman and she takes it with no hesitation. You made your seat in front of her and both then looked around at the indoor atmosphere it possess.

“So, did you like the place?” You asked her. “I went to find the perfect one just for you.”

“It was great.” She answered plainly. You nodded and felt relieved at her response.

“We’re almost surpassing to a year now, yet it still feels like yesterday since the first time I met you.” You said to her. Tzuyu just watches you and nodded before she lowered her head.

“Have you perhaps thought of what it would be for us in the future, Tzuyu? I-if we’re still gonna be like this?”

“Sometimes.” She said nonchalantly.. “I do care for what’s going to happen someday but I don’t make it affect me too much, I just leave it off to what we have right now. Because I don’t want to call it in advance because of the things that could come for us to face first before we get through there.”

“But you don’t want to let it happen, right?”

“Happen what?”

“That there might be a time that it’ll take us two apart and ruin what we would’ve have grow together. Not only for us, but for our family that I wish we could create in the future.”

Tzuyu looked at you speechlessly after those words came out from your mouth. She wouldn’t deny that it was indeed sweet and touching, to hear your lover being frightful of the challenges that them as a couple might have to deal with and conquer together for the sake of a better life to maintain as time progresses.

But she can’t be fooled anymore by your fluffy talks and foolish acts of pity. She has learned enough about the real you. She starts to feel her hatred tense up, filling her insides at how could you just say all of that without any complete sincerity and determination.

If you can act at whatever you do or say in front of her just to hide your faulty secrets, she wouldn’t let herself to lose through these ridiculous game you have placed her in. She wants to strike back for making her feel disposable and underestimated. Just because you created these scheme that doesn’t mean that you’ll win also. You may be the one in control and know the mischievous moves you have to execute but if Tzuyu becomes just as unpredictable or should she say… even more, there’s got to be a way to turn the tables that seemed impossible around.

And that is through unveiling every piece of the lies and misconceptions that you have shared not only her, but for Nayeon and Jeongyeon who fell victim into his disguise.

If you may be thinking that you just could get away with all your pretend, Tzuyu wants to be the one who will be involve in putting the shameful side of yours in full attention and revelation for everybody to witness.

She would’ve love to share her future and dreams having you by her side but it all changes beginning today.

From wanting you to change her life for the better forever to Tzuyu wanting you to be gone out of her heart that you didn’t deserve to attain and non-existent to her.

Her eyes largened and stared down in fury at the table while she felt her fists clenching at the cloth of her dress imagining every amount karma she wants to unleash on you.

“Tzuyu, are you okay?” You asked her. “That table won’t do no harm on you, don’t threaten it too much with your stares.I’m right here, you can share what troubles you..” You joked.

If only you know that she actually wants to do it all on you by hurting you in any procedure she would do it in no time just to see you cry for her in mercy. Tzuyu thought about it.

“S-sorry. I might’ve spaced out. If f only the table can speak, it would express its fear on me.”

“Yeah, I wonder why you seemed mad. Did anything happen? Was there a reason?”

“Yeah, that’s me having a date with a cheater I couldn’t wait to expose and dump him out to where he belongs..” She said on her inner thoughts but again, she had to keep her composure, not wanting to create any scandal or ruckus in such public place that elegant people like her manages their time with their company.

She wants to embarass only you, and she rather prefer to see it all by herself to savor each moment.

“Nothing.” She fakely shook it off and chuckled.

“Okay…” You just understood her. “Just tell me if there’s something wrong, okay?”

“Alright.” But deep down, Tzuyu doesn’t want to, because doing it would rather worsen her mood knowing that the main problem is the one who is she currently facing at.

The date went smooth in your opinion, although you have been noticing that Tzuyu is acting strange and less expressive than usual. You tried your best to cheer her up and with the smiles she’s been giving to you, it does made you assured that it’s effective of making you look a concerned and caring boyfriend for Tzuyu.

Unfortunately, your plan to have an intimate time with Tzuyu failed as she requested to go home already because she is tired and getting sleepy. You helped her sleep and left her home, with her parents thanking you for making Tzuyu happy on celebrating another milestone of your relationship with her. Unbeknownst to you, Jeongyeon who got stuck into a light traffic inside a taxicab, saw you and Tzuyu depart from the restaurant. Observing Tzuyu holding a large bouquet of flowers while holding your right hand as both strolled through the sidewalk and crossed the street, Jeongyeon felt an immense jealousy for the girl you replaced instead of her who was the first wife you ever had.

She slowly frowned. The cab then continues to detach her away from the painful sight she has just witnessed as the vehicles went moving again.

Meanwhile, Tzuyu on her bedroom, woke up right after you closed the door. A teardrop filled with hatred and anger fell on her face, her heart aching knowing at the fact that you’ll be back on doing your habit of leaving her again to whoever that girl she had caught you sharing a time together at the gym.

The next morning, Momo received a message from you and she directly informed Nayeon about it, saying that you wouldn’t be able to meet her today at the gym because you’re busy and you just had your body massaged few days ago.

Nayeon then began wondering who would you be seeing next today if not Momo already. She then alerted Jeongyeon that you may try to connect with her while Momo did the same for Sana. Tzuyu on the other hand, was left unbothered by Nayeon now because she already knew that the two would be having a date yesterday.

This is now a part of their plan to keep you on track on whatever bullshit you may attempt to do behind their backs, and Nayeon would be leading the way to remain her eyes spying on you discreetly as the rest of the girls update her about your possible whereabouts to visit.

You could say that Nayeon has became obsessed on chasing hell to put your deceitful intentions into its rightful punishment.

Without any of their idea, you arrived to a café after craving for some freshly brewed coffee solely made by your most favorite barista in this place.

You went to the cashier and there she is, immediately serving you with all welcome. “I suppose you had enough of palpitating your chest with your bland coffee you got there on your office.”

“You’re too harsh on me, but you’re also right Chaeyoung. Well, what’s new that you would like to recommend me to try?”

“Our special Caramel Mocchiato iced coffee. Tasted it yesterday and it’s splendid. Would you like it?”

“Ofcourse, I have trust on your taste. It was great, I could tell when I already got one from the source too.” You winked and clicked your tongue, turning Chaeyoung’s cheeks reddish as she remembered that moment you’re implying at.

“Damn it, now’s not the time to be flirty, YN. I’m at work.” She warned you.

“Alright alright, fine. Give it to me.” You said as you started pulling out a credit card on your wallet. Chaeyoung sighed and shook her head at your silliness. You grabbed a seat for yourself and waited patiently for your beloved girl to serve you the coffee you’re excited to taste made purely by the skills of this pretty barista.

“Here’s your Caramel Mocchiato.” Chaeyoung said, placing it on your table. She stood in front of you as she observed you take a sip from it. You simmered it on your mouth and analyzed your opinion about the drink she recommended you.

Chaeyoung’s nervousness was then replaced by uplift when she saw your face brightened after you swallowed it. “Take it as my new usual now, Chaeng. That was delicious.”

She playfully punched you on the shoulder. “Told you. I’m glad you like it.”

“I knew I would be, it was made by you. You never cease to disappoint me so far, Chaeyoung. Maybe this is why I still keep myself chasing for your interest.” You said with a smile. Chaeyoung grinned and pinched your cheek.

“You want a good news? I’m liking every single bit of what you do to me, YN.” She stated before she walked away with confidence from you. You wheezed and chuckled, delighted to hear it from her.

10 minutes after you left, Chaeyoung was still servicing the customers in line with their orders until a certain someone reached her turn, who not only demanded for her choice through the menu, but also the full attention of the barista to join her for an abrupt discussion about something serious, which led the latter into curiousity.

[dysfunctionalupsidedown]

Mike Wheeler: Trauma, Insecurity, and "STurn" (Analysis)

In "From the Hair Chair: Finn Wolfhard | Stranger Things", which is available on the official Stranger Things YouTube channel, Finn Wolfhard addresses the question, "What's going on with Mike Wheeler in Season 4?"

Mike Wheeler’s behavior in S4 has confused many, especially general audiences. However, if you look at the bigger picture, his progression (or regression) into the Mike Wheeler we know from S4 does make sense. To get a clear idea of what’s going on with him, we must look at the four seasons sequentially and with a more subtextual eye. We have a few physical puzzle pieces, and for now, we need to fill in the rest with our imagination based on evidence. A Mike point of view isn’t particularly needed to fully understand this, although it would be helpful for the GA and is something I want from S5.

In relation to this particular interview, I’ll examine Stranger Things (2016) for the past and present and “STurn” for the possible future. “STurn” actually does tell us a bit about how Mike’s self-identity arc will potentially continue in S5 and wrap up.

Also, I understand that “STurn” isn’t factual and is not even confirmed to be related to ST5. Though I don’t believe this entire analysis is instantly negated by my use of the playlist, as its only purpose here is to assume a hypothetical future. Aside from the Finn interview, everything else comes straight from the show and holds a reasonable explanation for Mike’s behavior up until the end of S4.

Remember, this post is for fun and speculation, and "STurn" is the best we have right now. Just keep in mind that I’m going into this analysis assuming it’s related to Mike Wheeler in S5. I could be entirely incorrect. Similarly, this interview isn’t wholly factual either, as it’s not what’s in the show, but it relates enough to what we’ve been shown of Mike for me to comment on.

This might be a lengthier post. Be warned.

If you’re still here and interested, I’ll get right into it.

Trauma

Finn first addresses how each of the characters are dealing with their past trauma, and that is a perfect way to describe Mike’s behavior in S4. I think a lot of people, especially the general audience, forget that, yes, while these are all characters, trauma does have the ability to affect them and change their behavior. There was an entire “Your original character before trauma vs. after trauma” trend on TikTok a minute back, and that wasn’t for nothing. 

Mike, just in S1, witnessed one of his best friends go missing, watched this best friend turn up apparently dead (as well as see his “body”), went to his funeral, jumped off of a ledge, saw his other newfound friend disappear, and so much more. Don't even get me started on the following seasons.

Mike is afraid of losing. That’s what happened to him in S1. He lost. First Will, then El. 

His fear of loss and determination to keep things in his life are significant parts of his character and have been since S1. That’s why he was so intent on finding Will. That's why he checked his walkie for El every night. That’s why he acts out in S3-S4. This isn’t an excuse for his behavior, but an explanation. It’s part of his trauma, and we see this in S4 with his fear of losing Will and El again: “Maybe I feel like I lost you or something,” and “I can't lose you,” respectively. I theorize that he fears being out of control regarding these things.

A lack of control also explains why he was so volatile to Will and El during and after Rink-O-Mania. For Will, Mike addresses this directly to him when he apologizes. It’s made evident to the audience that he acted cold in part because he thought Will was slipping away, but truthfully, he wasn’t aloof. He noticed everything about Will’s behavior and even managed to make the tragedy of that day about their friendship. Now, back to the apology, “About the last few days… You didn’t deserve anything… The truth is, the last year has been weird… Maybe I was worrying too much about El… And, I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something.” His defensiveness during the argument at the rink seems more like a trauma response than straight-up disinterest, which some people apparently think.

For El, I think this translates into him wanting her to need him. If El needs him, then there’s no way he can lose her, right? We know from the show that she doesn’t need him anymore. Mike also acknowledges this multiple times, and that thought terrifies him. In the last episode, he explains this to her, “... The truth is, El, I don’t know how to live without you… I can’t lose you, okay?”

Before Will shows Mike the painting in the van, Mike explains his dilemma. Will tries reassuring Mike, telling him that El will be fine, and Mike says he understands that. Mike then explains his true concern, “But what if after all this is over, she doesn’t need me anymore?... The truth is, when I stumbled on her in the woods, she just needed someone. It’s not fate, it’s not destiny, it’s just simple dumb luck. And one day, she's gonna realize that I’m just some random nerd that got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep. I mean, at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for The Daily Planet.” 

Will continues to comfort him, focusing more on the loss aspect of Mike’s trauma, which is made evident here. But those lines also make it clear that Mike is afraid El will realize his inferiority to her and abandon him. This is a good transition into Mike’s insecurity.

Insecurity

I’ve seen people argue against what Finn says here because Mike is part of the somewhat “outcast” group at school. I don’t think trying to argue that takes away from the fact that Mike did, does, and will continue to try and lead a “normal” lifestyle. He’s a teenage boy with a girlfriend and a friend group he fits into. That’s normal. He’s trying to get by. 

It was the same in S3. Mike was a kid with friends, a girlfriend, and a new want for maturity. It’s not unrealistic that the character is aging out of or into specific behaviors, especially ones that he’s previously exhibited. That leads us to his insecurity. 

We’ve had hints of it starting as far back as S1E3, when Troy injures Mike, and he initially lies about it to El so that he doesn’t seem like a loser. Similarly, these themes pick up with Will in S3E3 during their fight in the rain, “...We’re not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”

Curiously, Mike is shown to be especially “normal” in California. He dresses differently than he does in Hawkins and acts more aloof. As Argyle says, “It’s a shitty knock-off.” Skipping forward to the “... She's gonna realize that I’m just some random nerd that got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep… at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for The Daily Planet” line, and we have a good enough view of Mike’s internal conflict.

He is deeply insecure, and it seems particularly so around El. I don’t know if this was addressed in the show, and I wish we had seen some of Mike’s letters, but does El even know about the Hellfire Club? I don’t believe we’re given any indication that she does, which could imply that Mike kept it hidden from her. It wouldn’t be surprising, considering his complete attitude change in California. Also keeping in mind that Mike stopped playing D&D when he was with her in S3 and only continued to play in S4 while El was away.

Mike also displays this insecurity by choosing to distance Will. For what reason, I can’t say for sure, but it’s probably something “abnormal.” 

Regardless, his insecurity ties into his fear of loss. The more normal he is, the more things he can maintain in life and the less he has to lose. Especially when it comes to El. It all stems back to his fear, not genuine malintent, and I see too many viewers misunderstand this. 

It also works the opposite way, to a different and lesser extent. If he’s out of Hellfire Club, he loses his “normal teenage clique.” Aside from losing El completely as someone he profoundly cares about, if he loses El as a partner, he loses his girlfriend. That’s a blow to his normality. 

Will is confusing to me. If he “loses” Will, just like he felt he did at the beginning of S4, he falls more into the pattern of trying to be normal. There’s no impact on his normality. By keeping Will at arms-length, Mike gravitated more towards his “shitty knock-off” version of himself. Something about Will brings out what Mike feels is abnormal in him, so by distancing himself, he could avoid it altogether. That’s likely in part what caused such a conflict at the beginning of S4: Mike’s inability to be “normal” while fully keeping Will in his life and vice versa, his inability to lose Will just to maintain normalcy.

"STurn"

We’ve focused on trauma and insecurity. Now, it’s time for self-identity. I think that's a theme in store for the future. I'll refer back to the “STurn” analysis I previously did.

Many of the songs on this playlist contain themes of a false identity. I’ll start with “Angst In My Pants” first. To quote my "STurn" analysis:

This song is about a person attempting to be someone they're not, suppressing who they really are, and it ultimately leading to dissatisfaction. The lyrics, "You can dress nautical / Learn to tie knots / Take lots of Dramamine / Out on your yacht" describe a faux lifestyle one lives that only serves to hurt them in the end: The idea of putting on a self-harming persona. This could be what Mike is going through in S5.

Next, we have "Substitute":

This track is about an idealized version of someone being put in place of their true self. The narrator describes a scenario in which their partner sees a version of them, "I'm a substitute for another guy / I look pretty tall but my heels are high / The simple things you see are all complicated / I look bloody young, but I'm just back-dated, yeah", that is unrealistic and put on, as seen in the lyrics "Substitute your lies for fact / I see right through your plastic mac / I look all white, but my dad was black / My fine-looking suit is really made out of sack"... The concept of a guise applies well to Mike, as referenced in Angst In My Pants. A recurring theme of hiding oneself really makes me think Mike is going to completely abandon his interests for a different lifestyle. I believe Finn has also mentioned that Mike wants to be as "normal" as possible, so I can't wait to see [how far] they take that idea. It could also be him realizing how he's been acting, and admitting that this "romanticized" version isn't true to him.

Finally, "The Rebel Kind":

Like The Better Side, I couldn't find any lyrics, so I'm doing it by ear. Though, I'm happy to say that this song is about a desire to embrace differences and rebellion. "We'll be free to run with the rebel kind" and "It's not easy, but I don't mind / I just want to run with the rebel kind" establish that. The track appears to tie into Mike's insecurity struggles throughout the playlist. It could be the narrator's struggle to keep up with societal norms before finally giving in to their truth instead of trying to conform, read as "they call us rebels but don't get how hard it is to for us to keep up." On the other hand, it could be the narrator commenting on how society doesn't understand people like them, and, by embracing their true selves, it proves more about who they are than conforming ever would; read as, "you think we're the rebellious ones, but you don't understand that we're more self-secure and strong than you'll ever be." I can see both of these interpretations working for Mike and his connection to the Party. The progression of insecurity in Angst In My Pants and potential realization of this guise in Substitute is wrapped up by Mike's self-acceptance here. I really hope this is how it plays out in S5.

Conclusion

Mike's brewing insecurity, paired with his trauma of loss, seems like it may boil over in S5. I theorize that he’ll drift even more into his “shitty knock-off” self, even if just on the surface, and do whatever he can to maintain normalcy in his life. Whether this leads to more conflict with Will, we’ll have to wait and see.

Besides that, Mike might eventually accept his "differences." He also may be willing to cope with loss for what it is, even if it’s the loss of the normalcy he tries so hard to maintain in certain situations. I can see Mike having a heavy emphasis on self-identity in S5, and as I said earlier, I can’t wait to see where they take that.

Thank you for reading; I hope you enjoyed!

As is customary with all my posts, if anything here is incorrect or you believe there’s something I should add, feel free to let me know. I’d love to have more conversations about Mike and read all the predictions for S5 I can.

[minggukieology]

편지- Letter ✍️

Now that the dust has settled, I found a peaceful moment in the afternoon to sit down in silence and listen to Letter while trying to unpack all my thoughts. This lengthy post will be more in the tone of my personal stance and connection with the song, omitting going into too much detail about the grammar and explaining Korean expressions but still I will try to explain how the song makes an impression with the specific language used.

My reflections:

From the beginning onwards, the song sounds very delicate, while Jimin is singing to us in the polite form and bringing up multiple themes that are characteristic for the ARMY fandom and our path with the boys over the years: the desert, the sea, the cold winter and a warm spring day... He is wishing us to be happier and for this to last forever, while promising to be there when you feel like falling and cherishing all the memories we made together.

In that way, I, as a listener, am in a headspace where I am reminiscing on our story with Jimin as an idol and all we've been through together with him (and trust me, if you have joined just recently, there has been a lot darker times)...

Though as the song progresses and as the refrain comes on, the urgency to express his emotions intensifies together with the instrumental. And this is where Jungkook's vocals come in too. Jimin with the help of Jungkook is suddenly singing in a casual (lower politiness) form as if directly trying to reach out to the person on the listening end individually, addressing every line with a higher intensity and more personally. It just feels more intimate, even more earnest and more powerful. Moreover, the lyrics and chosen words feel more targeted at an individual rather than towards a group (even the scrapped lyrics felt more like he was writing towards a single person in this section).

Whatever the reason for Jungkook's appearance in this part, it makes the emotional impact even more convincing.

....

No matter what angle you may choose, Letter is an incredibly heartfelt track packed with strong emotions. I believe it's a song for ARMY and at the same time it is a song for someone in Jimin's life that has been his lifeline and his strong heart connection to them prompted him to write these lyrics woven with thick emotions.

That being said, Jimin sharing this unique space with Jungkook to support him in his emotional expression with his hidden layered vocals and some more audible backing vocals speaks volumes. Just the fact that Jungkook is present on a track (and on the most intense and personal part of the track) where Jimin is earnestly trying to deliver a message to the listener from the depths of his heart is special, no matter how anyone subjectively wants to interpret the song and its content: Do you think they are singing directly to ARMY? Great! I'd argue having someone that shares the same love and commitment, understands what you're feeling and is able to channel the same emotions as you, and as a testament to your bond you let them contribute to your own artistic expression with theirs, is incredibly precious.

There are things that Jimin will never comment on, so I doubt we will ever find out how this song and Jungkook's feature came to be besides what we already heard. Jimin is incredibly smart in how he tailors his message and communication with the broader audience. Thus, while on the surface the public sees him dancing sensually with female dancers, a longer careful look would give you a view of the half-half makeup and other dichotomies in the choreo/concepts, specifically chosen pieces of clothing, specially crafted details in the performance sets, etc. And the same thing applies to the song Letter too. Only after listening closely, you'll get to uncover layer by layer what lies hidden in this "hidden" track. On top of that, Jungkook casually showing he learnt the chords for this song in a random live broadcast out of nowhere prior to the release of the album just shows there is more to the story than we'll be ever told.

Personally, I will be keeping this song close to my heart and holding onto it until their military service concludes. It has become my own lifeline to my life as a fan and getting to hear Jimin and Jungkook together delivering these precious words is something I will cherish forever 🙏

[valorant-drabbles]

Hallo! I'm the one who requested the iso x reader from last time （＾ｖ＾）

I was wondering if you could make a part two showing how they slowly progressed with each other if it's alright since I really loved the first part and I'm brain rotting hard about Iso

PS - I'll go by ♠️spade anon from now on

Not me accidentally creating a multi-part slow burn Iso fic!! Oh boy

Could be seen as platonic or romantic… but if people want a part 3, it’ll definitely be more romantic.

Gender neutral reader!

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Mild Cursing, Spoiler for Part 1 of this fic

Cold Shoulder

Reader x Iso

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

It had been about three weeks since the incident; since you and Iso had your little quarrel, and inevitably having started to understand one another. It was definitely a challenge for you, since you’d struggled for years when it came to getting along with people outside of work hours. Thankfully, Iso was proving to be extremely patient and courteous towards you and your growth. That wasn’t to say he didn’t get irritated every so often if he noticed you slipping back into your old, cold habits…

But you were making a genuine effort. What more could he ask for?

Despite it only having been a few weeks, you and Iso had started getting along quite quickly. He’d made it clear that you were always welcome to join him if you were feeling lonely- and considering your friend quantity in the Protocol was quite low, you were finding yourself ‘lonely’ often. It was strange- last month, you were completely fine being on your own. And now, if you went a few days without a casual conversation with somebody… you felt an odd emptiness inside your chest. A yearning for connection that you’d thought you’d severed long ago.

There were many days where Iso would return to his room after training to find you sat on his bed, listening to the playlist he’d shared with you. Usually you were reading, or watching movies on your laptop… passing the time until he’d return and possibly join you. Iso knew you had a bit of trouble asking to spend time together, so when you were in his room- it was kind of obvious why you were there. Once he’d shower and change clothes, he’d settle into bed and join you in whatever you were doing.

Overtime, this became routine. On days neither of you had a mission, you’d spend time together in the comfort of Iso’s room… quietly bonding, occasionally starting conversations- though usually it was Iso initiating. After all, even after all this time, he still found you to be absolutely fascinating, and desired to learn more about you.

“What do you think we learn from fighting ourselves?” Iso’s voice cut through the current silence filling the bedroom, causing you to look up from your book, eyebrow raised curiously at the sudden query.

“… what?”

“Ah- sorry. That came from nowhere.” Iso apologized quietly, his gaze sheepishly moving away from where you were watching him. “I was just… thinking about our mirror selves. From Omega Earth. How they look and act almost exactly like us- and our teammates as well.”

“Mhm. What about them, though?” You questioned further, noticing Iso shift in his seat.

“I’ve… had this question on my mind ever since I saw myself on the other team. ‘What do we learn from fighting ourselves?’… I’ve asked a few of the others, but… honestly, none of them had an answer I was looking for.” Iso grimaced softly at the memory of him asking Phoenix this question, only for the Brit to cockily answer ‘How much better I am compared to that fake me!’.

You took a moment to ponder his question. This was something you genuinely appreciated about spending time with Iso- he posed questions that made you think. Nothing too philosophical, usually… but it kept conversations interesting, and additionally helped the two of you learn more about how the other thinks.

“I guess… we learn our weaknesses.” You answer after about a minute of silence. “Though it’s not ideal… there’s certain circumstances where our double will be better than us at something. It’ll reveal a weak point in our abilities… and give us something to work towards improving. Alternatively, we learn the weakness of our double, and how to potentially exploit it if need be.” Your shoulders shrugged slightly, as you bit gently at the end of the pen in your hand. “It can also help us to… uh…”

Your hesitance to speak further piques Iso’s curiosity, and his gaze moves to you. He can’t help but notice your cheeks glowing a faint shade of red. You seldom showed emotion like this… allowing yourself to be embarrassed or even revealing a moment of weakness. Despite his desire to urge you into finishing your thought, he knew pushing you to answer would just make you uncomfortable. And, there was the possibility it could cause you to throw out your walls again, giving him the cold shoulder again- he couldn’t risk that. So, he waited.

As much as you wanted to change the topic or just… leave the thought unfinished, Iso’s eyes on you made it clear that he really wanted to know what you were thinking.

“Y/N?” Iso called out quietly. A sigh escaped you reluctantly, as you turned your body to face away from him slightly- only so that he would have trouble seeing how flushed your face had become.

“It… it also helps us to… see what we couldn’t see before. In our own teammates.” You finally continue, deciding to occupy your twitching hands with twirling your pen between your fingers. “How much our team would do to… to protect us. In the face of danger. The threat of death is always so real when you know the enemy won’t hesitate to kill you… sometimes you forget how dangerous it can be. How quickly you can lose somebody. And… how… if a teammate dies, you might go about the rest of your life… regretting that you never got to know them better. Or you might die with the same regret…” You swallow.

You thought back on the day you nearly died at Pearl almost every day. It all felt so surreal… the rush of emotion you felt when you saw Iso in danger? The searing pain from the bullets that had pierced your body?… the last thing you see being Iso using your Operator to take down the approaching threats…

His words echoing constantly in your mind.

“Don’t you dare die on me, Y/N.”

You’d always been so cold towards him… never giving him any reason to like your company. And yet… Iso risked his own life to save yours. With no hesitation.

“Y/N.” It was only after feeling Iso’s hand on your own that you realized he’d been calling your name. His voice was gentle, worry lacing the elegance he spoke your name with. His gaze on you was equally as concerned. It was only in that moment, seeing your own reflection in his eyes, where you notice you’d started crying.

“Shit.” You pull your hand away from Iso’s, and quickly moved to wipe your face of any tears that may had fallen. This was… new. You never let such fragile emotions show in front of the other agents… you only ever let out your piled up emotions behind closed doors, where nobody could see. Where nobody could know. “Sorry, I don’t… know why I’m crying. Can you just forget I said any of that?” You requested, though your voice wavered as you spoke, making you cringe internally. Were you truly so emotional when you thought back on that day…?

Without another word, you found yourself being pulled into Iso’s lap, his arms wrapped around you comfortingly, yet not intrusively. Physical contact wasn’t something you were used to either, but… in that moment? It felt… incredible. You needed this… so badly. For how long you’d needed it for, you didn’t know. You just knew you never wanted this moment to end- as soft as that sounded.

“I’m… not going to let either of us die with that regret.” Iso promised ever so softly, with his head resting comfortably against your shoulder. “And believe me, I don’t intend on dying anytime soon. So you don’t have to worry to much about missed opportunities to… get to know each other. And stuff.”

You kept your face hidden away from Iso; thankful he wasn’t making an effort to look regardless. You felt incredibly vulnerable in that moment… so you truly appreciated that Iso was making the effort to give you some level of privacy. At least as you attempted to pull yourself together again.

“I… I’m glad that… you didn’t give up on me.” You mumble gently against his chest. “… even though I was kind of an asshole to you.”

“Oh, no. You were a total asshole.” Iso chimed. You could just hear the grin on his face through his voice. It made you want to strangle him… not to death, per se.

“… besides. There’s no way I’d give up on someone as… incredible as you.”

Iso’s hand managed to find yours once again, and slowly, gently, you found your fingers intertwining with his without even thinking about it. The previously jarring silence in the room had been replaced with an air of comfortable quiet, as the two of you sat in each other’s company.

You never thought you’d have this thought towards another agent… but…

You really did enjoy Iso’s company. To what extent?… You were unsure.

Yet you enjoyed it regardless.

[rvnwtch]

Here’s my post for our Ravenwatch event! I might try to turn it into something longer in the future. I thought it would be fun to write Fennorian taking Vestige’s blood and NOT being nervous about doing it.

The sun had set a while ago, and it was beginning to get chilly out when Fennorian broke the peaceful silence between them, “My flask is getting a little low. It’s probably time to call it a night.”

They’d made good progress today. Fenn’s lead had sent them to a small seaside town. They’d even managed to track a vampire back to its coven. It wasn’t quite time to interrupt the vampire’s plans yet, so they’d agreed to spend some time in the library planning their next move. 

Vestige hummed in disappointment. “Already?” 

Fennorian smiled sheepishly and held his flask up before them. “I apologize, I’ve been drinking from it more frequently today.” He avoided Vestige’s eyes as he said this. 

In the back of their mind, they hoped they weren’t the reason he’d needed his flask more. But the lack of eye contact had basically confirmed it.

“It’s not that! It’s just that I feel like we only just met up again.” Vestige said, trying not to pout. They were an adult, they could very well act like one.

Smiling sympathetically, Fennorian said “I feel the same. Unfortunately, I do need to get blood somehow and I don’t think the people here in town would be comfortable around us if they knew I was a vampire.”

Vestige could understand that. People starting to go missing in town and suddenly a vampire is politely asking for a quick sip? That would not go down well. 

Still, the Vestige couldn’t help but lament the idea of spending more time together. Then, a thought occurred to them. Was it inappropriate to offer up their own blood? They didn’t think so, but it was a line the two of them had yet to cross. Maybe he didn’t want to drink their blood. They weighed the options in their head, rocking on their feet. 

They could spend more time alone in their inn room, or more time with Fennorian after a bit of potential awkwardness? 

 Finally they said, “If it isn’t too strange… I don’t mind if you have a little bit of mine.” They immediately pressed their lips together in embarrassment. Avoiding eye contact, Vestige kept walking as if they hadn’t said anything. 

“Oh!” Fennorian said in surprise. Vestige only came to a stop when he did. “I-I don’t know what to say. You trust me that much?” 

Vestige looked up and almost regretted it. He was openly studying them and was failing at hiding the wonder on his face. “I do.” 

They almost expected him to say “You don’t have to offer anything if you really don’t want to.” But they both already knew this. 

Instead he said, “If you’re really comfortable I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” 

They were stunned by his quick agreement. Why did they think he would say no? 

“Why wouldn’t I be comfortable? You have to do this pretty often, don’t you?” They asked teasingly. 

“I do,” he said with a smile. “but not everyone is so… accepting of my condition. Though I shouldn’t be surprised, you’ve never judged me for it before.” Hesitating, he said, “We should go somewhere private.” 

Vestige prayed they weren’t blushing as hard as it felt like they were. 

Fennorian had led them down a quiet little street and back toward the inn. When they arrived he had surprised Vestige and brought them back to his room. “Alright then. Where would you like me to drink from?” 

Vestige tilted their head. “Uh I don’t know, what’s considered normal in this situation?” 

A small smile flashed across his features. “Well,” Fennorian started taking their hand, “Some people prefer here…” his fingers grazed along the armor protecting the inside of their wrist. “Others here…” he nudged their armored calf with his foot, Vestige scrunched up their nose at that. Their reaction made him chuckle. “And some prefer… here.” His cold fingers skimmed against the skin of their throat. “It’s easier and a little quicker to take blood from the neck.”

Vestige’s heart jumped at the feather light touch. But Fennorian wasn’t done yet. 

He stepped closer, his eyes trained at that spot on their neck. Fennorian’s voice was amused as he whispered, “I suspect you’ll go with your neck though, am I right? Unless of course you want to take a bunch of your armor off and have to spend the time putting it back on again after.” 

Heat flooded the Vestige’s cheeks. The thought of taking off any article of clothing, or armor, so Fennorian could put his mouth near their skin seemed highly inappropriate in their head. they huffed and said, “I see your point. So how does this work?”

Fennorian stepped closer to them, practically framing their body with his. “The only downside to a neck bite is that some people lose their balance during the bite.” He winced at his own words. “I don’t want my fangs to scratch you if you do. Here, lean against the wall and grab me if you need to for support.” 

This was getting more and more intimate. 

Still it didn’t feel like a mistake.

“Okay.” 

“If you want me to stop just tell me or shove at my shoulders. Actually, have you fed a vampire before?” He asked curiously. 

Slowly Vestige shook their head. 

“I might go a little slower then. I don’t want you to feel dizzy.” 

Just this conversation was making them feel dizzy.

He learned in close, stopping just shy of touching their skin. “Ready?” 

“I think so.” 

Fennorian’s lips brushed against their throat. 

When his fangs sank into their neck, they gasped softly. Quickly their hands flew to his shoulders for stability. Fennorian, ever the gentleman, began to pull away. 

“I’m okay.” They whispered.

At their reassurance, Fennorian continued drinking their blood with a contented sigh. As he drank their blood they could have sworn it felt as though his skin was warming, particularly his lips.

The time ticked by slowly and eventually he pulled away entirely. Vestige blinked, trying to will away their mild embarrassment. 

The first thing he asked was “How are you feeling?” 

Eyes trained on his mouth, Vestige replied “I feel fine.” 

“Well then,” Fennorian cleared his throat and stepped away from in an attempt to give them space. They didn���t want space but the moment was over. “Thank you for allowing me to have some of your blood. You don’t know how much it means to me.” 

Vestige let a smile creep its way back onto their face. “Just as you’ve said that I can always count on you, you can always count on me, Fennorian.” They winked. 

Fennorian guided them to a wooden chair to sit. “Truly, I appreciate it.” He said holding eye contact with them for a long moment. Then he blinked. “I don’t have any food in here. Although, I saw a few places selling food on our way back. Let me get you something.” 

Attempting to wave the offer off Vestige said, “That's alright. You don’t need to worry about it.” 

He wagged his finger at them. “Ah, ah, ah! You’ve fed me now, allow me to find you something to eat. Besides… you want to keep your strength up don’t you?”

[bonefall]

Can I hear more about Villain Thornclaw? The way you described him is a really cool take on his character.

He exudes a sense of detached ruthlessness, something happened and he just never got over it, most of the time he is a model warrior, but sometimes he says something or gives a cold look, and that hints just how much he is willing to do for his beliefs

The first warrior that Firestar named becomes his most insidious enemy.

He was too young to clearly remember Clawface snatching him and his little sister, but he does remember the way it became an early fixation. His favorite games were always reenactments and play fights, and his father Lionheart and kidnapper Clawface would be characters in them. He often would go too far and play rough, actually biting or scratching his playmate.

We, in the real world, may recognize this as a way kids often process trauma. But they don't have cat therapy here.

And quickly these fixations became unsettling. Brightkit didn't like these games, and their older siblings were disturbed. Frostfur reacted strongly and tried to intervene, but it didn't help the way they wanted.

He got good at hiding it, and he got better at finding other ways to express his fixation. He never knew Lionheart, but he DID know Grandma Speckletail, and she would tell him all about the ways he could be like his dad. When you don't know a person, they can be anything you want them to be.

Turns out if you dress up "I'm obsessively xenophobic of foreign cats and want to rip them to shreds" as "I will ferociously avenge my father and uphold his legacy," suddenly you're golden! It's that simple!

(it's almost like clan culture didnt actually value peace or kindness and just encourages you to channel ur violence towards specific ends)

Thornkit went from Grandma Speckletail to Mentor Mousefur, and she continued to cultivate this. There's a time and a place for aggression. Be good to your clanmates. Use words in camp, not claws. She made a good soldier out of him.

When ThunderClan had a reckoning with Tigerclaw and his ideology in TPB, during his coup, the line of thought that went through Thornpaw and the cats like him was that Tigerclaw was the problem. Who could have known! A shock! Sickening!

...for a while they were "better," devastated by his betrayal, more openminded. But minds don't always trend towards progress.

Eventually, Thornclaw backslid. Let's not throw out the kitten with the tonguewash, here. Yes yes, Tigerclaw was a damn traitor and a hypocrite, but there's worse cats to look up to, you can't deny his nobility, that some of his ideas were great for ThunderClan, that there were lofty ideals he merely took from our grand and glorious history and we can return to those days...

What is so terrible about being a thistle? To lash back when you are attacked? To defend the meadow for you and yours?

We can have Tigerclaw's good aspects without the bad, surely?

And Firestar...

You must understand it's nothing personal. Firestar's a fine cat, for a kittypet. There is no hate for him. But we can't have a leader who stops ThunderClan from engaging in honorable combat. The Clan has become too mixed, and he punished him simply for expressing his concerns. What other choice is there? To do nothing as the clans are destroyed from the inside out?

Bluestar brought wildfire to the forest, to burn it to the ground. Firestar is Thornclaw's natural enemy-- and so is every cat like him.

[withlovewriting]

All I Ever Knew, Only You 14: Light 'Em Up

Chapter Fourteen.

So bright, the flames burned in our hearts, That we found each other in the dark, Black beast, out in the wilderness, We are fighting to survive and convalesce, But we're gonna live, we're gonna live, at last, Then I heard the church bells from afar, But we found each other in the dark

Summary: Hawkins was your typical quaint, mid-western town where nothing ever happened. People were born here, lived their entire lives within the town limits, and eventually died here, peacefully in their sleep. But one cold November evening in 1983 would change everything.

Despite a child with psychokinetic abilities and ravenous monsters that lacked faces, stranger things had definitely happened in the small town in Indiana. One of them being your reluctant and slightly imposed friendship with Hawkins High’s own King Bee, Steve Harrington.

Characters: Steve Harrington x Non-descriptive F!Reader (eventual)

Words: 5,726

Chapter Warnings: Explicit language, mentions of injuries, fluff, Protective!Hopper here for duty, the death of dart that i am still not over, attempted suicide in the absolute most minimal way i promise (you'll understand when you read it i promise, everyone is good everything is fine i just don't know how else to label it), i am now totally unsure which one is the bigger idiot.

Series Warnings: Strong language, mentions of underage drinking, mentions of drug use, canon-typical violence, mentions of alcohol abuse, mentions of possible mental health disorders, child abuse, slow burn, kinda enemies-to-friends-to-lovers, I like to call it ‘two idiots who begrudgingly befriend each other only to realize… ‘wait a damn minute…’, eventual sexual content, no use of y/n, canon-typical time-period bullshit. 18+. Minors DNI.

Previous Chapter

Next Chapter

Chapter Fourteen: Light 'Em Up

The tires of the blue Camero groaned in discontent, screeching as the car finally came to a stop with half of Merrill’s pumpkin sign still attached to it.

Steve had progressively become more awake, and also more panicked during the ride, and despite the pain you’d be in any time you had to brace during Max’s overzealous drive, you couldn’t deny the fact that had any of the boys driven, you probably wouldn’t have made it out of the Byers’ driveway.

“Told you. Zoomer.” Max told them proudly before pushing open her door and allowing Mike to climb out, followed by Dustin as you and Steve were left to clamber — or in Steve’s case, fall — out of the too-small backseats.

You made your way around to the trunk, grabbing goggles as the kids tied their bandannas around their faces. You didn’t have much time to look for real supplies, and you just prayed that what you had would suffice.

Either way, it would have to do.

Steve groaned as he pulled himself up from the floor where he’d all but rolled to, his face beaten and swollen slightly as he stumbled for a moment whilst he tried to get his bearings.

“No… Guys. Hey, where do you think you’re going?” He questioned Mike as the younger boy strolled right past him, can of gasoline in hand, “What are you, deaf? Hello? We are not going down there right now. I made myself clear. There is no chance we’re going to the hole, all right?”

You passed Steve, too focused on the task at hand to bother yourself with his dramatics, and instead handed Mike a rope as the older boy continued to emphasize his argument. Walking back around to the trunk to grab your own gear, Steve’s hand shot out, the boy stumbling a little as he held on to you.

“This ends now!”

Shrugging his hand off, you sent him a sharp glare whilst Dustin finally responded, “Steve, you’re upset, I get it. But the bottom line is, a party member requires assistance, and it is our duty to provide that assistance.”

Dustin stormed off, making his way toward the group as they began to lower items into the hole whilst Steve stood — still a little dazed — and inhaled deeply. You could tell he was frustrated, but at least he wasn’t yelling about it anymore.

“He’s not wrong.”

“You too? I thought we were on the same side here.” Steve sighed, his tired eyes roaming over your face. The boy had perfected the kicked puppy dog look.

Biting your bottom lip, you moved closer to the boy and placed your hand on his arm that was leaning against the open car door, “We are on the same side, okay? Look, these kids are gonna go down there whether we go with them or not. If you need to stay up here, that’s fine. I get it. But I’m not letting them go down there alone, especially not with those things running around.”

Steve sighed, tightly squeezing his eyes closed, “We said we’d keep them safe…”

Your hand moved from Steve’s forearm, hovering over his bruised knuckles for just a second before gently squeezing his hand, causing the boy’s eyes to pop open almost comically, “So let's keep them safe. You got this, Steve. We got this.”

Your left hand grabbed a backpack from the trunk containing a bandanna, goggles and Steve’s trusty nailed bat. You held it out to him with bated breath, waiting for his decision. After the relentless attack from Billy, you wouldn’t blame him if he decided he needed a time-out. Your own head was throbbing, you couldn’t begin to imagine how his felt.

Nor could you ignore the relief that flooded your bones when he took the bag from you, a simple nod from the boy before you began to pull on your own gear.

In usual Steve fashion, the boy demanded he go first into the hole to check it out and make sure there wasn’t a pack of hungry Demo-dogs waiting underneath for you all to drop directly into their open mouths.

“Holy shit,” Steve gazed around the tunnel as the rest of you dropped down, Mike pulling out a map before setting off in the direction he believed would lead you all to the hive mind.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hey. I don’t think so. Any of you little shits die down here, we’re getting the blame. Got it, dipshit?” Steve grumbled, pushing past Mike, “From here on out, I’m leading the way. Come on, let's go.”

You all began to follow him, no questions asked as Steve led the group and you brought up the rear. By the time you were deep enough into the tunnels, you were ready to throw your flashlight at him. A little hustle this, and c’mon, pick up the pace that.

You’d almost forgotten that he was captain of both the basketball team and the swim team and was more than comfortable ordering people around.

Vines wrapped their way along the long floors, keeping you conscious of where you were stepping, as if they might leap out at you any second and dangle you upside down, and the particles of something floating in the air made you cautious that maybe the bandannas you all wore were not enough to keep your respiratory system safe and working.

You felt like your head was turning every few seconds, paranoia from the Demo-dogs, as well as uncharted tunnels, making you feel on edge and Dustin’s sudden screaming really didn’t discourage that.

Rushing toward the boy as he fell to the ground, his shouts desperate enough to rattle your bones, you grabbed at him as he flinched away, unaware of your presence until you managed to get him to look at you, the boy calling for his friends as the group quickly returned.

Slipping from your grasp as he continued to flail about, the group surrounded him, “What happened?”

“It’s in my mouth! Some got in my mouth! Shit!”

He began to hack up a cough as you pulled down your bandanna, trying to catch Dustin’s attention as you called his name, pulling his face into your hands, all but forcing the boy to look up at you,

“Dustin, relax!”

Gulping in a large breath of air, the boy finally settled, his blue eyes peering into yours, “I’m okay…”

“You serious?”

“Very funny, man. Nice. Very nice.”

The group continued on, murmuring under their breath as you helped pick the boy back up, a possibly too-hard whack to the back of his cap to send him on his way after you pulled up your own bandanna once more.

This was going to be a long night.

“Alright, Wheeler,” Steve sighed, flashlight pointed at the crossroad of tunnels surrounding you, “I think we found your hub.”

“Let’s drench it.”

And so you got to work, covering the walls and surrounding tunnel entrances in gasoline. Turning toward Steve, who was busy pouring out his own canister, you pulled your bandanna down once more,

“Are you sure you won’t, like… light up like a Christmas tree?”

Steve’s brow cocked, the only hint that he was silently questioning you.

“You know, with all that hairspray, are you sure you’re not flammable?”

Despite not being able to see his facial features, you felt it in your soul when Steve was glaring at you, causing a smirk to pull one side of your mouth upward.

“Ha ha, very funny,” the boy’s monotonous tone only caused your smile to broaden as he moved closer toward you, the tips of his sneakers knocking your own slightly as he reached forward with his free hand, rubber glove gently gripping the bandanna that now loosely hung around your neck and pulling it back over your nose, “And stop pulling this down. We don’t know what’s floating around down here.”

Rolling your eyes, you secured the cloth a little tighter around your face and wondered how ridiculous you all looked.

“You guys ready?” Steve asked once you were all standing at the entrance to the tunnel you came from.

“Light her up,” Dustin confirmed as Steve pulled out his lighter.

You felt his dark eyes peering up at you from where he knelt on the floor, “We are in such deep shit.”

You placed a hand over Max’s shoulder, pushing the girl in front of you as the tunnels lit up, an unbearable and unforgiving heat beating across your face as you watched the vines along the floor begin to dance along the embers. Everything really was connected, and you could only hope this didn’t hurt Will more than it had to.

“C’mon, go!” Steve pulled you along by the wrist, only letting go once he was certain your feet would follow, as he pushed his way to lead the group once more, “This way!”

Unfortunately for you, you were running just behind Mike when he took a tumble — a thick vine wrapping around his ankle and slowly dragging him across the floor — causing you to trip right over him, your own ankle rolling under your weight as you failed to catch yourself on the sharp walls of the tunnel.

Mike’s screaming caught the attention of the group as you tried to drag yourself toward the thick vine, unable to untangle it as it fought against you, only tightening its grip on the boy. Despite struggling to pull off your backpack, you finally managed to pull the ax that you were yet to return to Mrs. Byers and hobbled to your feet, balancing on your one good foot as you swung at the vine, cursing as you lost your balance and tumbled toward the wall.

A shrill screech seemed to emit from the vines as they curled up, releasing the boy's ankle as Steve’s bat connected with it once, twice, three times.

Lucas and Dustin pulled Mike up, a tight grip on their friend as they checked him over whilst Steve turned to you, eyes wide even under his goggles as he looked from your face to your ankle, and back again, noting your flamingo-like posture,

“You good?”

Before you could respond, a growl from behind the group stopped you all in your tracks.

A Demo-dog stood on all fours, large mouth opening, and closing as it continued its inhuman noises. Dustin watched for a moment, head cocked slightly to the right.

“Dart.”

When the monster didn’t immediately attack, seemingly checking out the boy in front of him — friend or foe? Possibly even snack — Dustin stepped forward, despite everyone pleading for him to stay where he was.

“Shh, stop. Trust me, please.”

Dustin remained eerily calm as he slowly approached the dog, the monster taking a few cautionary steps closer too, meeting him near the middle of the tunnel.

“Hey, it’s me. It’s your friend, it’s Dustin,” the boy pulled down his bandanna before lifting his goggles in hopes the monster would recognize him, “It’s Dustin, all right? You remember me? Will you let us pass?”

The monster snarled at him, revealing far too many sharp teeth for your liking, but remained in place. If it wanted to, it easily could’ve ripped Dustin apart by now. You knew that as well as the boy did. But this… thing, something about this one was different. Maybe it really was Dart, and maybe, he and Dustin had formed some kind of weird, fucked up human/alternate-dimensional-creature bond in the few days it had taken Dart to sprout four legs and a mouth full of teeth.

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry. I’m sorry about the storm cellar. That was a pretty douchey thing to do. You hungry? Yeah?” Dustin reached into his backpack, pulling out what looked like a Three Musketeers bar, “I’ve got our favorite, see? Nougat.”

As Dustin opened the wrapper, the creature slowly padded toward him, much like a family dog might’ve. Once Dart began to eat, Dustin shooed the rest of you through, Steve holding you up as you hobbled alongside him.

Once everyone had passed, Dustin stood, pulling down his goggles as he moved past to follow the group, turning around as Dart did the same, “Goodbye, buddy.”

As your group rushed back looking for where the rope to safety dangled, leading back up to the surface, the whole tunnel system seemed to shift, rumbling and sending you all in different directions.

“What was that?” Max asked, turning in the direction of… roaring?

“They’re coming. Run! Run!”

Steve lifted Max up first, the girl pulling herself up the rope with no problem, quickly followed by Lucas and then Mike. Dustin was halfway up the rope, clutching to his friend's hands when you saw the first shadow of a Demo-dog on the wall.

“Harrington,” you swallowed, heart pounding against your rib cage, eyes beginning to water as you realized your fate.

“I know, I know…” Steve panicked, gripping his bat in his hands as he shouldered Dustin a little further up, “Go, c’mon, get up-”

You both knew you didn’t have enough time for the two of you to get back out to safety and somehow, Steve had continuously surprised you in these life-and-death situations — especially when it was between his life and your death — constantly putting his safety on the line. Back last year with the Demogorgon, hell, even earlier that evening at the Junkyard.

This time… This time, it was your turn.

“We’re not gonna both make it up there in time. You need to go.”

His head swiveled around so quickly, you were sure he almost gave himself whiplash, but you didn’t give him enough time to disagree as you rearranged the ax in your grip, holding it high and standing your ground despite your shaking hands, “I’m not gonna get up there quickly, it’s pointless. Just go. Please.”

Ignoring the crack of your voice, and the shouting from the kids above you, Steve shook his head, eyes darting between yourself and the incoming monsters, their roaring getting closer and closer, “No, I-”

“Go, Steve!”

“Not without you.”

Snapping your own head toward the boy, you both stood silently as the few seconds that passed felt like hours, before finally accepting your fate.

The kids would be safe. But you were doing this. You and Steve would foolishly take on a pack of Demo-dogs.

Despite Steve’s eyes flicking back to the tunnel, yours remained on him as you tried to swallow down the fear that was crawling up your throat, clutching at your vocal cords and making it impossible to speak.

The first Demo-dog rushed around the corner, but you barely saw a flash of it as you were suddenly spinning around, Steve’s chest colliding with your back as he gripped you with one hand, turning your body behind his.

When the pained cries and shouting and screaming didn’t come, your eyes peeled open, watching as the dogs ran straight past you, entering a different tunnel and paying both you and Steve no mind.

Once the echoes of their rushed feet had disappeared, the tunnel remained silent, even the kids above were in shocked silence. Blood rushed in your ears, as your body shook, the ax falling from your grip and landing by your feet.

Steve’s labored breaths pushed his chest into your back repeatedly, and you weren’t quite sure if it was your heartbeat or his that you could feel.

His grip remained tight around your waist, rubber gloved fingers digging into your skin a little too tightly to be reassuring, yet you still leaned your weight against him, head bent backward at a mildly uncomfortably angle as you pulled down your bandanna and caught your breath, trying to work out if you were actually still alive.

It was only when he tilted his own head down, resting his chin on your shoulder that you flinched away — his panting a little too loud in your ear — the previous pain from earlier that evening finally ebbing its way back now that the adrenaline was finally dissipating from your veins.

“Eleven,” Mike shouted down, “She’s doing it, she’s closing the gate. Get out of there, now.”

Neither of you needed to be told twice, and once Steve had awkwardly lifted you halfway up the rope, allowing you to place your weight onto his shoulder as the other kids had helped you crawl out of the hole, he quickly followed after you just in time to watch the headlights beam on Billy’s car, momentarily blinding you all.

And, just as it had seemed last year…

It was over.

Steve had managed to drive to Hopper’s cabin thanks to your directions as the kids huddled in the backseat. Nobody uttered a word, and the car radio remained off the entire drive. The only words you spoke were a mumbled thank you as he assisted you out of the car, tucking your arm over his shoulders, his own hand wrapping back around your waist as he helped you slowly hobble toward the cabin.

You could only pray that whatever had its hold over Will was gone, leaving the boy unscathed and that Eleven and Hopper were alive and safe.

Thankfully, you’d spotted Hopper’s Chevvy hidden where he usually parked it between the trees and found yourself all but rushing toward the safety of the cabin.

The commotion from the kids must have alerted everyone to your appearance as the group, bar Will and Eleven, stepped out onto the porch, eyebrows pinched together, confused at your sudden appearance. The plan was for you to stay at the Byers and wait. It was clear to everyone that somehow, for some reason, that plan had changed.

You felt a whimper force its way out of your lips before you even recognized the sound as your own when you caught Hopper’s gaze, the man pushing through the small crowd outside the front door, his long legs reaching you quickly.

Steve released you from his grip as soon as the larger man approached, brows still furrowed on his face as he pulled you into a tight hug,

“What the hell happened to you guys?”

It took Steve a second to realize that Hopper’s attention was now directed toward him, his dark blue eyes taking in his bruised face.

“Uh, something came up. We… We couldn’t stay at the Byers. I know we said… I promised we’d look after the kids, but-”

“Can we talk about it later?” You sighed, hoping Hopper would take pity on your tired eyes and pained limp, “Eleven and Will… are they okay?”

Hopper helped you up the porch steps, a sweet smile sent Joyce’s way as she took your face between her warm palms and placed a kiss on your forehead, “They’re fine. Exhausted but… Alive. Safe.”

It felt like a weight had been lifted from your chest, the ability to finally inhale deeply causing your vision to blur a little. The plan had worked, and most of you had survived. Mike had already made his way into the cabin, grabbing at both Eleven and Will and pulling them into a tight hug, quickly followed by the rest of the kids, bar Max who hung back a little.

Joyce, however, moved her attention to the young girl, pulling her into a motherly hug, “Whatever you kids did tonight… Thank you.”

“Can we, uh… Clean up a little?” you turned toward Hopper, nodding toward the bathroom, knowing there was a first aid kit stashed in the medicine cabinet.

Hopper’s gaze switched between you and Steve before sending the latter a slight glare, despite his nod, “Head on through, do you want me to-”

“It’s fine, Hop. We won’t be long,” you sighed, trying to put as little weight onto your ankle as possible as you shuffled Steve into the too-small bathroom.

Once the folding door was shut, shutting out the quiet mumbles from the group, you let out a long, exasperated sigh, leaning on the door whilst Steve was already looking through the cabinet, pulling out the small box.

“Do you want to-”

“No, no… You sit down, I don’t think that ankle is gonna handle any more pressure on it tonight.” Steve interrupted, motioning for you to sit on the closed toilet as he nosed through the first aid supplies.

Finding some ointment for bruising and a clean cloth, Steve ran the tap until the water was warm, ringing out the excess water before standing in front of you, hesitating.

“Do you, uh-”

“I can’t exactly see the back of my head, Harrington.”

Nodding, Steve placed the cloth against the back of your head, a mumbled apology falling from his lips when you hissed in pain.

“Billy, he uh… He didn’t-”

“Billy didn’t touch me,” you sighed, “not really, anyway. Shoved me away from Lucas and I hit my head on the counter.”

An unintelligible grumble fell from Steve’s lips, his eyebrows almost connecting as he frowned, only deepening as you continued to speak, “I must say though, Harrington. I’m pleasantly surprised. You got in, what? At least three hits before-”

“Before he blindsided me by hitting me in the head with a plate?” Steve huffed, pulling away the cloth and rinsing it when he found only dried blood. He took a second to look over the wound, unsure as to what he was really even looking for.

“I mean, it’s Billy. Do you really expect him to play fair?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Steve groaned slightly as he bent down, resting on his knees as he lifted your ankle. After taking off your sneakers and socks, then rolling up your jeans a little, he turned your ankle cautiously as he inspected it. The skin had already begun to swell, and a deep red bruise was blossoming along the outer side of your heel,

“You really need to ice and rest this,” Steve placed the cold cloth against the skin and held it there, continuing to scrutinize your injury.

A small huff fell from your lips as you sent the top of his head a smirk, “Where did you get your Ph.D. from again?”

“I play sports,” Steve’s eyes met yours, an annoyed, but innocuous glare settling across his face as he peered up at you, “I’ve rolled my ankle enough times in Basketball to know how to deal with it.”

A high, mocking tune rumbled in your throat as you cocked a brow, “My bad, Harrington. Didn’t know you liked to play Doctors and Nurses in your spare time.”

“Why do you do that?” He interrupted thumb subconsciously grazing the part of your skin that the cloth didn’t reach.

Your face scrunched slightly, feeling a little too defensive already, “Do what?”

His shoulders slumped as a long sigh escaped his nose, but his eyes remained focused on you, “You know, I think tonight, when you were convincing me to follow those little assholes into the pits of Hell… I think that was the first time I’ve heard you actually call me by my name.”

“I call you it all the time-”

“No,” he interrupted once more, the line between his brows emerging once again as he tried to stress his point, “You call me Harrington all the time. Normally with a glare, but still…”

You remained silent for a moment, wondering if you did, indeed, do that, “Does it matter?”

“I mean, it makes you sound like you’re always mad at me-”

“I am normally mad at you,” you joked, but your smile slipped from your face just as quickly as it had appeared when his expression didn’t change, “I don’t know why I do it, alright? I do it to everyone, I guess…”

“I just…” Steve sighed, the hand that was holding the cloth to your ankle moved to push his hair back from his forehead before quickly reattaching itself to you, as if he needed to anchor himself to something to get his thoughts out, “I like it when you call me Steve. Makes me feel like we’re, you know… Friends.”

You watched as he shrugged, his throat bobbing as he tore his eyes away from you in what you could only assume was embarrassment.

Because even after everything you went through together almost a year ago, even after he saved your life… you weren’t friends. But now?

“Seems like the universe is trying to tell us something.”

Steve’s eyes returned to yours, confusion etched on his face as you sighed and sat up straighter, your body a little closer to him, “We are friends. I mean, you saved my life twice in one year. It would be kinda rude not to be, right?”

A small puff of air forced itself from his chest as he sent you a small smile, “Third time’s the charm,”

“Oh my god, why would you even say that?” You laughed back, mouth agape in faux offense, “But, I suppose I could… try and reserve last names for when I’m actually mad-”

“It would save me a lot of confusion.”

You shared a small, almost silent laugh, his eyes boring into you, seeming much darker in Hopper's dodgy bathroom lightening, Steve’s thumb still subconsciously skimming over your ankle as you both reveled in the quiet, the voices in the lounge were low and muffled slightly, so when the folding door was swiftly yanked open, nearly sending the boy into your lap, you both jumped out of your skin, your wide eyes narrowing into a glower as you stared down the man on the other side of the door,

“You kids need some help in here? Been long enough I thought you’d got lost.”

Rolling your eyes, you settled back against the tank of the toilet with a sigh, “Waiting times in the ER are outrageous. I’ll tell my doctor to hurry it up.”

Steve cleared his throat, discomfort written on his face as he sent Hopper an almost pained smile, unable to keep eye contact for more than a few seconds, “Almost done. Promise.”

You watched Hopper as he watched Steve — the boy suddenly finding the bare wooden floorboards beneath him a little too fascinating — his eyes flitting to you for just a moment before settling back on the boy, “Yeah, well, speed it up, alright? I need to take a leak.”

“Hop,” you heard Joyce warn, pulling the man’s attention for just a moment. His tongue ran across his bottom lip as if he were deep in thought, before he finally conceded, pulling the door across once more, but not shutting it fully.

Steve quickly poured the Arnica ointment onto some toilet paper before gently dabbing it onto your ankle, brows furrowed in concentration “We really should speed things up.”

“Ignore him. He’s just… weird.”

Steve sent you a quirked brow, all too aware that you didn’t bother to lower your voice and that the possibility of Hopper hearing you was high.

“You’re pretty close, huh?”

“He, uh… He dated my Mom. Hung around for a while and never really left, even when they broke up.”

“That’s nice.”

Shrugging, you peered through the gap in the door, eyes finding the man across the room talking quietly with Joyce for a moment before disappearing from your obstructed view, “I guess so. I don’t really see eye to eye with my Mom. I mean, I know what people say about her, about my family, but Hopper, he just… He never cared about all that stuff. I, uh… I cried myself to sleep the night they broke up. I mean, I’d seen guys come and go for years, I was used to it, and I just kind of thought he’d disappear like everyone else. Cross the street when he saw me, duck his head when he saw me in the same aisle at Big Buy… But he just… didn’t, you know? It wouldn’t have ever lasted with my Mom, but he’s been there for me more than anyone. Especially my own dad. I owe him a lot.”

“I don’t think he sees it that way.”

Steve’s comment caught you off-guard slightly. You’d heard all the gross accusations that high schoolers had thrown your way. That Hopper had left your mother for you, that he was your real dad and everything in between. You had thought for so long that he had simply hung around because he felt guilty. Then, you’d heard that he had a daughter, Sara, who had passed away in New York, and you thought that maybe his protectiveness over you was down to grief. That he was trying to make you fit into a Sara-shaped hole.

But Hopper, despite all of his flaws — and he had plenty — was simply a good man.

Sending your sudden tension, Steve scrambled to continue, “I mean, I don’t think he thinks you owe him anything. He seems like a decent guy-”

“He is,” you cut Steve off. Your chest felt heavy and tight as if your body was desperate for the conversation to finish before you burst into tears and embarrassed the both of you.

“All done,” Steve smiled, placing the toilet paper into the sink to be flushed later. He placed your ankle gently on the floor after rolling back down your pant leg and pulling on your sock, “I wouldn’t even try the sneakers, but you do need to ice it.”

Holding out a hand, Steve pulled you up, your bodies a little too close in the cramped bathroom, “We should-”

“Sit your ass down, Steve,” you wanted to pat yourself on the back for remembering, “It’s your turn.”

Eventually, you and Steve emerged from the bathroom, one arm slung over his shoulder as he guided you back into the lounge, Hopper quickly moved from where he was leaning against the wall next to the bathroom and took over, walking you back to his armchair whilst Steve quietly argued — and lost — with Joyce as she tried to give up her own chair, eventually reassuring him that she was going to check on Will, who was resting on Hopper’s fold up bed across the room.

When the once cold can of beer pressed against your ankle had warmed to room temperature, and the box of ‘Eggo’s’ Steve had held against his bruised face had turned soggy, the boy finally pushed himself up, clearing his throat, “I, uh… I should get going.”

You’d explained most of your evening to the group, leaving out that Hargrove had been the cause of your own injuries, and Hopper had told Steve that Billy would find himself on the receiving end of a few extra speeding tickets since the former didn’t want to press charges, and by now, everyone was visibly exhausted. It had been a very long weekend.

“Can I catch a ride?” You asked, already pushing yourself up off the armchair to follow.

Steve nodded and extended the offer, eventually driving you, Max, Lucas, and Dustin out of there. He’d have to drop Billy’s car back before anyone became suspicious, but he’d just waved a hand at you when you’d offered to drive the Camero back after picking up his own car, telling you he would simply walk home and collect it from the woods where he’d left it with yourself and Dustin at the beginning of your hunt for Dart.

Despite Hopper offering to stay at his for the night, you declined. You just wanted to crawl into your own bed and not emerge for a couple of days, despite knowing it was the beginning of another school week. So, after Jim had made you promise to radio him if there was any issue, he begrudgingly sent you off into the night with Steve.

The excitement seemed all too much for the kids, each one falling asleep before Steve had even passed back by Merrill’s farm. His voice was gentle as he woke them up, bar when he gave Dustin a shove, the boy snoring obnoxiously loud as he spread out across the backseat, the last to be dropped home.

Once the boy was safely inside his house, Steve sighed and pulled away, ready to make his way to your house. He could've easily dropped you home first and left Max to last, but the both of you remained quiet as he drove past the long, winding road that would've led to your street. His eyes were red-rimmed and heavy, and he cursed each time his hand subconsciously rubbed at them after he'd pulled over outside of your home.

You hesitated for a moment — your hand ready to open the door — unsure of what to say. So instead, you let out a long sigh and turned in the boy’s direction, “Get home safe, okay?”

Steve nodded, “Want me to walk you to the door? You really shouldn’t be putting weight on that-”

“-After everything that’s happened tonight, if I get murdered between this car, and my front door, then so be it,” you joked, a small smile on your face as Steve tiredly returned it.

Steve’s mouth opened, ready to retort, but instead remained hanging wide as you shuffled across the seat, pulling him into an awkward but quick one-armed hug, “Thanks again, Steve. And I’m sorry for, you know… dragging you along to the tunnels.”

Clearing his throat, Steve sent you a firm nod, “No, it’s… I get it, you know? I mean, either way, we kept the kids safe, right?”

“Right…”

“We make a pretty good team,” a puff of laughter fell from Steve’s lips. The irony wasn’t lost on the boy. 12 months ago, Steve wouldn’t have given you the time of day. You both knew that. Hell, you were certain he wouldn’t be able to pick you out from a lineup full of new students that he’d never met, despite the fact Hawkins only had one high school.

“Yeah, I guess we do. Goodnight, Steve.”

You shuffled out of the car ungracefully, and Steve watched with a wince, forcing himself to remain seated as you hobbled your way up the creaky, decayed porch steps and eventually into your home.

Only once you were tucked away safely in your house, bedroom light flicking on a moment later, did Steve finally drive away.

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Kathryn Janeway

By Ames

Finally, we’ve made it to the Delta Quadrant in A Star to Steer Her By’s character spotlight series, as we turn our focus to the crew from Voyager. And who better to start us off than our intrepid Intrepid-class leader, Captain Kathryn Janeway? She stalwartly leads the crew through uncharted space, wheels and deals with new alien species, kicks countless asses, and drinks copious amounts of coffee. What’s not to like?

Well, some things, as you’ll see below in our patented list of all Janeway’s Best and Worst Moments throughout the series (and beyond!). What’s in the Delta Quadrant doesn’t actually stay in the Delta Quadrant, you see. So count the number of times Janeway self-destructs the ship as you read on below and listen to our countdown timer over on this week’s podcast episode (T-minus 57:33). There’s coffee in this blogpost!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Ralkana? He said you’d been shot. One of the early gems of Voyager is “Resistance,” and Kate Mulgrew is on high display throughout. When she comes to understand Caylem’s tragic history, Janeway embraces his cause with compassion and empathy. And when the poor, senile man is dying and continues to mistake her for his daughter, Janeway lets him believe his delusions because they’re all he has.

Hello. I’m Captain Kathryn Janeway. Welcome to the Bridge. We joke a lot on A Star to Steer Her By that Janeway’s go-to tactic is self-destructing the ship. And she gets to actually carry that through for the first (but not last) time in “Deadlock,” taking out a whole bunch of Vidiians with her. Lucky for us, a spare Voyager crew (including a bonus Harry and Naomi) are saved as a result, since any other time it’s a trick you can only pull once.

There’s nothing to fear… except Kathryn Janeway Throughout the sensory-overload nightmare fuel that is “The Thaw,” Fear the Clown torments the people within his holo-environment until he crosses paths with Captain Janeway and she proves to be the most cold-blooded of them all. She cleverly tricks him into releasing the hostages before ripping the rug out from under him with the reveal that she isn’t really there.

You’re part of a family now, and you have obligations Watching the crew become more of a family as the seasons progress is a highlight of Voyager, and the way Janeway comes to trust Neelix is lovely to watch. In “Macrocosm,” she makes him an ambassador, and an episode later in “Fair Trade,” her “you’re part of our family” speech when Neelix admits to feeling like he no longer has a purpose on the ship proves how she values him.

Time’s up Not only is “Year of Hell” one of the best two-parters in all of Star Trek, but it also has yet another instance of Janeway destroying the ship! She takes it upon herself to save her crew from the Krenim and their very pretty, very powerful timeship by plowing what’s left of the Voyager directly into that sucker. And she even gets a great sendoff line to go with it!

For what it’s worth, you made a tempting offer If we’ve learned anything from the first several seasons, it’s don’t cross Janeway or she will double-, triple-, or quadruple-cross you right back. Evidently, no one clued in Kashyk in “Counterpoint” because he tries to use her to find a wormhole and nab some telepaths, but she’s been prepared for that the whole time. Pity, the two of them were almost cute together.

I’m a little busy right now, helping a friend It takes her quite a while (most of the series even), but Janeway slowly makes steps to accepting the EMH as people. By “Latent Image,” she’s agreed to let him process his trauma, even though it would be much easier to deal with if she just erased it (again) like the program he is. She even sits with him while he has existential crisis after existential crisis.

Her Royal Highness, Arachnia, Queen of the Spiderpeople! As far as comedy episodes go, “Bride of Chaotica!” is one of our favorites. You can tell everyone’s having so much fun, especially Kate Mulgrew as she throws herself fully into the over-the-top role of Queen Arachnia. Janeway pretending to be a B-movie villainess is just candy to watch, and she saves the invaders from the fifth dimension. All in a day’s work!

I make a better you than you Jake thinks he’s very funny in making me include this one on the Janeway list, but here we go. So Dala in “Live Fast and Prosper” isn’t really Janeway, but she does make cunning deals and schemes with the best of them. And hell, the bonafide Janeway delivers as well by foiling her counterpart’s dastardly plans and throwing her in the brig where she belongs.

I’ll start my own Federation, with blackjack and hookers When the Voyager is stuck in the titular void from “The Void,” everyone’s begging to resort to piracy – it just looks so fun! – but Janeway puts her foot down. Despite being so far from home, she has tried her darndest to unhold Starfleet ideals, and starting her own miniature Federation is her way of showing that people are better when they work together. Void friends forever!

Must’ve been something you assimilated While I could pick on Admiral Janeway for breaking the Temporal Prime Directive in “Endgame,” I’m just too impressed by how she so thoroughly owns the Borg Queen. She knows diplomacy won’t get her anywhere with the Borg, so she lets herself get assimilated to pass on a neurolytic pathogen that takes out the whole collective and saves Voyager!

Set your compass to Starfleet Finally, we’ve been pretty forthright about our love for Star Trek: Prodigy, and Admiral Janeway really gets some great moments to chew the CGI scenery. In the season one finale, “Supernova,” she stands up for the Protostar crew, especially sticking her neck out for Dal in a way that is so pure and supportive that you root for the whole group. We're so excited to watch season two when it’s up on Netflix!

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Worst moments

And if you win you get this shiny banjo made of gold What the whole series boils down to is the long journey to get home from the Delta Quadrant… but it’s kinda Janway’s fault they’re stuck there in the first place due to her needlessly selfless actions in “Caretaker.” And then there are countless opportunities to get home after that that she squanders to uphold Starfleet rules. Who’s gonna know, Janeway?

The Trolley Problem solution for maximum murder Probably the most infamous action Janeway takes is the murder of Tuvix in the eponymous “Tuvix.” Sure, it’s to get two crewmembers back, and I’ve heard that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one, but it is straight-up cruel the way she forces Tuvix to medbay against his will, kicking and screaming the whole way that he wants to live.

I couldn’t help it, said the scorpion. It’s my nature. Boy, does Janeway know how to put her crew in needless danger by making snap decisions and then arguing about them a lot (a lot) with Chakotay. Her decision to team up with the Borg in “Scorpion” against the newly introduced Species 8472 is frankly insane. There’s no reasoning with Borg, lady. I’m with Chakotay on this one: you can only trust a scorpion to sting you.

You must comply In “Scorpion,” Janeway promises to return Seven to the collective when they finish the whole Species 8472 thing, but instead Janeway straight up kidnaps the poor drone and makes the decision to deprogram her in “The Gift” like the cult victim Seven is. It’s all entirely against Seven’s wishes and a little uncomfortable to watch because our new Borg has no agency yet.

Get down with your bad self Okay, Jake is being a pill again and insists we include Janeway’s fictional counterpart from “Living Witness” using biogenic weapons against the Kyrians. And yeah, it’s not actually Janeway – it’s a purely fabricated story the Kyrians concocted for their biased history program – but ya know what: I love how diabolical and ruthless this Janeway is so much that I’ll include it.

I’ll be benefiting from other people’s suffering Even more uncomfortable than watching Janeway force individuality on Seven is watching Janeway straight up ignore the DNR from Torres in “Nothing Human.” We sorta get that Seven can’t make her own decisions because she’s essentially a cult victim, but Torres is of sound mind when she refuses to accept surgery from Crell Moset and Janeway won’t hear it.

Sit in the corner and think about what you did We did a whole other blogpost about when it’s a good idea to break or uphold the Prime Directive after watching “Thirty Days.” Janeway refuses to let Tom save the Moneans and throws him in the brig for a month for trying to help them. It’s inconsistent to say the least when captains decide to hide behind the almighty Prime Directive, and Janeway is the biggest offender.

You’re malfunctioning, and you need to be repaired We praised Janeway a moment ago about how she respects the Doctor’s agency in “Latent Image,” but all through the series leading up to that, she struggles to think of him as a sapient person. It’s revealed in this episode that she’d ordered his memories of Jetal wiped as a way to deal with his trauma – something she’d surely never do to one of her solid crew members.

The Handbook on Personal Relationships is three centimeters thick Season 5 is well represented in this list, and you’d think that after that long, Janeway would have a modicum of respect for her forever ensign, Harry Kim. But in “The Disease,” she sets a double standard out of nowhere that crew members can’t bang aliens without permission. Hello? Janeway, everyone has already broken that, not just Harry, your special little boy.

Every captain gets a little torture as a treat! We get to watch Janeway go full Captain Ahab on the Equinox crew in “Equinox.” She hunts down Ransom like he’s her white whale. She tortures Lessing for information. And then she fires Chakotay for doing his job of being the most moral character in the room. It all feels out of character, but that’s kinda the point because this is what the Delta Quadrant pushes people to.

Delete the wife Speaking of seeming out of character. In “Fair Haven,” Janeway designs herself a holo-boyfriend and then falls head-over-heels in love with it. We fully support the captain going and getting holo-laid, especially since it’s unethical to bang her subordinates, but she should know better that this guy is just a sex toy and not a real person – she did program him that way!

Two Janeways are better than one There’s a whole new meaning to arguing with yourself in “Endgame.” Turns out, Admiral Janeway originally doesn’t want to wreck up the Borg as we gave her credit for above, but withholds her plan from her younger self and then tries to pull rank while everyone else is rallying to save millions by taking out the Borg. Ladies, can’t we just work together… to kill Borg!

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And we’ve finally made it home to the Alpha Quadrant! That’s all from Janeway today, but we’ve got her whole crew to peruse through for the upcoming weeks, so make sure you’re venturing through Voyager with us here, follow along with our Enterprise watchthrough on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, sip some coffee with us over on Facebook and Twitter, and lift your mugs to a toast: to the journey!

[elderberries-and-honey]

𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘭𝘢𝘸𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵 "𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘦" 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘯 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥

Dear Marmee,

The bitter cold crept in slowly at first but there is no denying winter has arrived here in Wales. Everything is now covered in a sheet of white snow.

Every morning, I wake before the rooster's crow. Our friend Beth has moved in with us and she enjoys knitting very much. She has knitted me two new sweaters before Christmas has even come and they keep me much warmer than my worn-out coat from last Winter. It's a good thing too 'cause there's still much to be done on our farm, though I've made a rather decent amount of progress.

Even so, we hardly had any remaining produce leftover for ourselves after selling what I was able to salvage from our terrible blight. I won't burden you too much with our troubles but things have been rough here for us and I know Winifred is silently troubling herself over it.

You mentioned Jo is trying to get published? Please let me know how that goes for her. I think it might just inspire Winifred who is still glued to her typewriter whenever she has the time to write.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely, Lawrence

Dear Marmee,

I'm sorry to hear Jo was turned down in her quest to get published. Hopefully it won't discourage her from trying. Have you heard from Amy in Paris? How are Meg and Mr. Brooks? How does Beth like teaching piano?

Many of our animals, including the thorn in my side, Frank the Goose, passed on near the end of November. Without their eggs and milk to sell, money is tighter than ever.

Winifred has begun fretting over how we will make a good Christmas for Ozzy. So I've started working at the pub again to help us make it through the rest of winter and afford a few gifts for him. I'm struggling to come up with an idea on what to get Winifred, after all, how could I top her typewriter? If you have any ideas, please include them in your next letter.

Ozzy is doing quite well, thank you for asking. He likes to "help" me on the farm but mostly he enjoys playing in the snow with the garden shovels and trying to escape to our small pond. You would not believe the tantrums he throws when I have to wrangle him away from the edge. I can almost understand how my Father felt when I was a boy and he would paddle my bottom. The boy is like a fish the way he enjoys the water! Even bathtime seems to be his favorite part about bedtime.

It was a struggle to get him out of his crib and into a real bed but we needed to complete the transition before our new little one arrives. With Beth here to teach us patience, I can proudly declare we have finally succeeded.

Sincerely, Lawrence

Dear Marmee,

We're approaching our due date rather quickly, a little under 3 months now. Millie has been staying with Louise for the Winter (and giving her free cooking lessons) after agreeing to stay and help Winifred deliver the baby, which I'm thankful for. I know this is a huge relief for Winifred. Her last delivery was not without complications and I know she grows uneasy the closer we get.

I know Winifred believes the baby will be a girl but I have my own suspicions we will welcome another son. I'm not wholly certain I could handle another little girl after we lost Flora. Not yet, rather. The pain of losing a child never truly leaves, does it?

I did not mean to ignore your inquiry over how I'm fairing. I must keep a courageous face for my family, and consequently I've grown used to wearing my mask of gallantry. Since you so kindly asked though, I will admit that I am a little worn down as of late.

I spend long hours tending the farm and go to work even longer hours in the pub. Valerie, good hearted as she is, is not the best co-worker, often drinking herself stupid before the nights out. I suppose it's true what they say about you Irish folk.

Most of my trouble comes from myself, I suppose. I watched my father save this very farm many times over and I should want to do the same. But with every plant that refused to sprout, I found myself resentful over having ever inherited it.

I think of my wife, the writer, the poet, and how she is able to read Ozzy her stories. I think of Jackson with his pub, and his son, Patrick, who's becoming a doctor, and you with your bookshop. Even my father who provided my mother and I with food, and a roof over our heads because he cared for the farm so tenderly. All of you, with such passion.

Even if I was as passionate as my father, the farming industry is changing. All these extravagant advancements are putting farmers out of work all over. If the farm were to go under, what would I do? It's all I've ever known.

If I don't have time to write before Christmas Day - I hope you have a Merry Christmas. Send my love to your girls and wish them the same for me as well.

Sincerely, Lawrence

P.S. Don't be cross with me for the joke, I only say it in jest. The Irish could drink me under the table any day of the week and sing a merry tune whilst doing so which is rather remarkable.

next / previous / first

[ejzah]

A/N: A little Deeks angst for you. Set early season 8.

***

The Bucket’s Full

Deeks hurried into the mission, a cup of cold, leftover coffee from last night clutched in one hand, his phone in the other as he forwarded some of Kensi’s latest medical paperwork to the VA. If he thought about it too hard, the sheer cost of Kensi’s treatment made him nauseous, so now he quickly reviewed the listed services and amounts and then sent them on.

This morning’s visit had not gone particularly well; while the doctor’s reassured them both that Kensi was making progress and actually improving more quickly than anticipated, she struggled with everything she still couldn’t do.

It had all started out well enough with Deeks managing to sneak in early enough to surprise Kensi when she woke up. Their good morning kiss had quickly devolved into full-on making out, and for a few minutes, they tuned out everything but each other. Until a nursing assistant arrived to announce Kensi needed to change for her first therapy appointment of the day.

Kensi had insisted on dressing as much as she could on her own. Deeks could only standby, watching her get more and more frustrated between the lack of mobility in her left hand an minimal sensation in her right. It was somewhere around her twentieth attempt to pull on a sock on that she growled and swiped her arm across her nearby tray, breaking into angry tears.

At least she’d let him comfort her this time, but he’d gotten the text from Nell about an active case before Kensi fully settled down.

It sucked on so many levels.

Tossing his bag on his desk chair, he drank the rest of his stale coffee, and sat down, letting out an exhausted sigh. He just wanted to sleep, though he never could once he actually got in bed.

“Deeks, glad you’re here,” Callen said, jogging down the stairs with Sam at his side.

Deeks rubbed his palms over his eyes, blinking back the gritty feeling. “Morning to you too.”

As they joined him in the bullpen, Sam squeezed Deeks’ shoulder before taking his own seat.

“We need you to call LAPD and get them to send a couple units over to parole near our crime scene.”

“Wait, what crime scene?” Deeks asked, holding up a hand. “You know LAPD isn’t just going to lend us resources without details.”

“Well, maybe if you weren’t late, you’d know about our case,” Callen pointed out. Normally, Deeks would have ignored the gentle ribbing. Today though, he didn’t have the patience for it and snapped back.

“I was with Kensi. Honestly, you’re lucky I’m here at all.”

“I take it it was a rough morning,” Sam guessed.

“Oh no, life on the rehabilitation unit is delightful for a 32 year old woman recovering from significant spinal injuries.”

“Ok,” Callen said slowly.

Even with his hand currently covering his face, Deeks knew Callen was sharing one of those annoying looks that questioned his mental stability.

“I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I’m running on approximately three hours of sleep and two day old coffee, so I’m not exactly my usual cheerful self.”

“We understand,” Sam told him, speaking for both himself and Callen. “Why don’t you take half an hour, get yourself together, and Nell will fill you in after that.”

“What about LAPD?” The thought of lying down for a few minutes sounded blissful, but he couldn’t exactly shirk his responsibilities.

“We’ll figure it out.”

“Thanks, man.”

As Deeks slowly got up, Sam rested his hand on the back of Deeks’ neck, his touch solid and comforting. It made him feel dangerously close to tears himself.

“It’s going to be ok,” Sam said, emphasizing the words with a squeeze. Deeks managed a faint quirk of his lips before shrugging out from under Sam’s hand, and shuffling towards the hall.

He probably wouldn’t end up sleeping at all, but the chance for a few minutes without any responsibility sounded wonderful.