#but we have made much progress in our understanding of what the cold is

[triptychofvoids]

Hey you’re a guy of science!

Could you explain on how the common cold works? Like how do you catch it?

the common cold is not one single virus, but rather hundreds of different types (a handful of 'main' viruses with hundreds of different subtypes and mutations), but the most common cause of colds in many cases is the rhinovirus and its many many many variants! rhinovirus is a respiratory infection that is spread primarily through the air, and you can see how this tends to be a problem, because we do unfortunately need to breathe.... there are several different ways you can catch the cold, but most often it tends to be either direct transmition through the air or through phsysical proximity (being indoors with someone who is infected and breathing it in, or directly touching or perhaps kissing someone who is sick for example), or indirect transmission, such as touching a surface which the virus has spread to and then touching your mouth or nose. the virus can then of course very easily find its way into your respiratory tract and begin to multiply and so on...

if you are sick with some form of respiratory illness, it is highly recommended to wear a mask while in public spaces to avoid spreading said illness to others! and, if you arent sick but would like to take some basic precautions to avoid it, remembering to wash your hands and to avoid contact with someone who you know is sick until they have recovered is a good start!

[meidiary]

( 📁 ) THEY ENTERTAIN ANOTHER WOMAN FOR TOO LONG

synopsis: instead of them being jealous, this time you are because of their attention being focused on someone else 🤧

characters: zoro, luffy & sanji!

warnings: female terms used in zoro's & sanji's <3, nicknames + swearing, angst for sanji

mei's note: my previous post had an accidental angsty ending for luffy so i'll be posting a happy one soon! <3

⟶ @ahseyy request: ... And i have this idea 🤧 we had that the OP boys are jealous, sooooo obviously we need that Yn is jealous! ...

☆ "they're just friends!" usopp's words kept ringing in your mind as you stare at ZORO and his ex-girlfriend.. you and the rest of the strawhat crew had stopped sailing, planning to settle a bit on the island you came across. oh, how you deeply regret telling luffy that "this seems like a good place for us to stay in and regain our energy!" now you're stuck witnessing this situation play out, having you completely engrossed in it.

☆ usopp, having a sixth sense for drama, immediately noticed the lack of your presence as a result of you spying observing zoro and his ex.

☆ "are you done spying on your boyfriend?" he chuckles seeing your startled expression. "i'm not spying on him! i'm just-" you see her playfully slap his bicep, earning a displeased look on your face. "why is he even speaking to her for so long? it's not like they left at the best terms.." you blurt out, sighing after seeing usopp's sly smirk.

☆ you know he thinks you're an obsessively jealous person, but you can't find it in you to care because there she goes touching him again! the worst of it all is that zoro doesn't seem to be bothered by it.. your eyebrows furrow as you keep witnessing them smiling way too much, standing way too close, being way too touchy, and the worst of all; they're talking way too soft for you to eavesdrop!

"that's it, i'm going over there!" you utter annoyed, dropping the mop you were holding for the past 15 minutes, having made little to no progress at cleaning the ship's floor. usopp, taken aback, dashes to stand in front of you, blocking the exit of the ship. "are you out of your mind? don't you understand you'll be labeled as the most controlling girlfriend ever?! just- sit this confrontation out alright?" he let's out a sigh of relief, feeling he prevented a major fight to go down, not only between you and zoro, but possibly also between you and zoro's ex..

usopp was right, you know he was, but you couldn't bother thinking straight while you were still seeing that woman being handsy with your man. fuming, you gaze at the two, loathing the almost non-existent space there was between them. "i'm so done," you mutter upset. "please take over cleaning for me today, usopp.." you left to your room and plopped down on your bed, trying to put all your intrusive thoughts to rest.

but of course you couldn't after having seen that interaction between the two. were you exaggerating? was this normal? is it wrong for you to feel this way? this fuming feeling is causing you so much distress. it's like your thoughts are eating you up from the inside. you don't want to feel this way, like you're the one at fault, like you're not enough, like you'll never be enough.. right after that thought crept up out of the darkest pits of your brain, you heard a knock on your, now locked, bedroom door. "baby? you alright?.. why's the door locked-? baby?" you recognize zoro's voice immediately, mentally being stuck between picking the easy choice: ignoring him and bottling up your feelings, or the hard one: facing him and talk to him about your current thoughts..

unbeknownst to you, you unconsciously chose the former option. you open the door and look him in his eyes, hiding as much of your feelings possible. "what?" he furrows his brows, confused by your cold welcome before he remembers usopp warning him you weren't in a good mood because of his overfriendly encounter with his ex. "is this about her?" he chuckles before shaking his head slightly, in disbelief you'd be this bothered by someone from his past. "so what if it is?! is it so weird for me to be upset some woman is being all handsy with you?! and is it suprising that i got bothered even more by you not minding her touching you? is it that weird, zoro? 'cause if it is, please, do tell me!" you blurt out, almost all in one breath, before slamming the door shut.

you weren't planning on letting it out, you didn't want to bother, assuming he'd just brush it off as you exaggerating.. you didn't expect him to open the door you aggressively slammed in his face, so soon. you didn't expect him to, when he saw you leant on the wall with furrowed brows and a trembling upper lip, grab you by the waist and pull you closer to him, so close there was barely anything between you at all.. and least of all did you expect him to grab your chin, raising it so you looked him in the eyes while he told you "if i gave one shit about her, would i be here right now? tell me, if i didn't care about you at all, then why would i tell her i'm not interested in getting back together with her when she asked? why would i tell her i finally found someone that i want to spend the rest of my life with? shit, as cheesy as it sounds, it's true, baby.. i can't imagine being with anyone else except you. so please, don't you get jealous about girls i don't give a damn about."

you send him a soft smile, leaning your forehead on him. "don' know who told you i was jealous.. but you got to get better sources 'cause i for sure wasn't jealous.." zoro scoffs letting out a "yeah, right."

☆ needless to say you two made up and cuddled for the rest of the day.

☆ that would be the end.. but of course usopp had to bug you.. "hey! i took over your cleaning today, so you better take over mine for the next week.." usopp pleaded, with both his hands on his hips. "out." zoro mumbled into your neck, expecting him to comply instantly. "but-!" usopp began to bicker, before getting interrupted by zoro. "now." you accidentally let out a giggle, swiftly moving your hand to cover your mouth right after. "whatever! i will be back, considering this debt!" with that usopp leaves the room, leaving you two alone, enjoying the comfortable silence.

☆ SANJI is a womanizer, that's no shocking discovery. you've know about this fact since the moment you met him. he was charming you up while asking everyone's drinks and then he went off, flirting with another woman on his way back to the kitchen. that moment you learned that this was sanji. but there's also the caring sanji that'd make you a warm soup when you're sick, tending to your needs yet still somehow find away to make you blush whilst laughing with him. in addition to the caring sanji, there also is the determined sanji; whenever he'd speak about finding the all blue, and all the meals he would cook, all the different fish he would see, you could swear you saw his eyes glistening with adoration and resolve. further, intellectual sanji heavily plays a role in your daily life; happily helping you with mundane chores to the most exciting adventures you and your fellow strawhats go on. he fills you in on books he's read, food he's cooked, ingredients he's used, products he's bought and much more!

☆ you could go on and on, daydreaming of all sanji's positive personality traits, but you're all time favorite would have to be considerate sanji.. the way he could immediately sense from you that you weren't feeling like your usual self still amazes you. how he always chooses the right moments to bring you a freshly brewed cup of tea with your favorite desert right next to it, which you have know idea how he had the time nor ingredients for. how he treats you like a princes and tells you how much you mean to him in so many different ways when you feel absolutely miserable. and, oh, how he always knows when to embrace you tightly and whisper sweet nothings into your ear, until it becomes numb.

☆ so with all that, you accepted him being a womanizer, having the seemingly perpetuous habits of bantering with other women. you always wondered if he'd stop flirting with so many women if you asked him to.. but then the thought that you two were nothing and wouldn't be anything else than friends hit you.

☆ nevertheless, seeing his cheeky smile being sent to some random woman, seeing him subtly sling his arm around her waist as he guids her to the dance floor, seeing him lean closer to her every minute, it was killing you, no more like slowly scraping you from the inside, the bottled up pain waiting for you to finally burst open.

you've been eyeing them the whole night, not once taking your eyes off of them or bothering to answer usopp's rants with more than a 'mhm,' or a 'hmm'. "have you listened to a word i said?!" usopp voiced suddenly, turning the strawhats' complete attention to you. "mhm.." absent-minded, you nod hearing him say something, but not comprehending the words he spoke.

"see, told you she wasn't paying attention," usopp leaned back against his seat after pulling up his shoulders, indicating he was right about you not paying attention to what anyone was saying. zoro, being the one seated next to you, tapped your shoulder, earning a "hm?" from you. getting annoyed by your negligence, he shifted his gaze to the direction you were looking in, finally understanding what the issue was.

to clarify your absent-mindness, zoro nudged his head towards sanji and his date. his date, who was sat on his lap at this point, making the knot in your stomach grow substantially. seeing his arm wrap around her hips as she leaned on him was your final stroke, your last straw. it was your breaking point.. you've reached, no, you've long surpassed your limit for these shenanigans, but right now, this very moment you finally break.

you suddenly feel a rush of tears burn your eyes, overwhelmed with your thoughts and emotional distress. you jump up, hurriedly leaving the club room you were in, not wanting anyone to see you in your current state. you desperately search for a private area where you can cry yourself out of this situation without having people judge you. but you notice the whole place is packed with couples who can't keep their hands off of each other, except the balcony, so you shakingly make your way to the cold space.

all of a sudden, you hear someone's heavy breathing behind you. "darling? what's the matter? what happened?!" sanji. he asks you breathlessly, due to him running after you. you quickly tried to wipe your tears away, but they kept coming! making you feel even more hysterical. "hey, hey now -" sanji notices your crying, he turns you around, his arms moving from your arms down to your waist, pulling you closer to him. "talk to me, sweetheart.. please, just talk to me.." he pleads, moving his face closer to yours.

"i- i can't- do- it!" you babbled in-between sobs. "what, darling? who did this to you?" sanji moves his hands to your cheeks, pulling your face to his, carefully. "you..! you're killing me!" he furrows his brows in confusion. once you calmed down, you slowly tore one of his hands off your face. "i can't keep seeing you with others, sanji.. it really fucking hurts! i- i just can't-" you push him away a little, "i can't keep bottling it up sanji.. i'm done.."

☆ he didn't even mean to.. he was just being friendly, he was cracking jokes, making sure she was feeling calm and at peace, he asked sanji to get her something to snack, he was being luffy..

☆ normally, you'd swoon over him whenever he'd be in this caring mood of his. but not this time, no. this time, you were close to glowing green out of envy. you shouldn't be feeling this way, you know that. you trust luffy with your everything! it just hits you in the wrong place whenever he leans towards her when she speaks. it's like you can feel your heart cramp up each time she looks up at him and smiles, receiving his usual toothy grin in return.

☆ she was lost, abandoned at sea by her very own family. at least that's the bit you picked from usopp dramatically narrating her lifestory. is it heartless that all you could think of was that you hoped, the strawhats and you would drop her off at the very next island, wish her luck with her life, and continue your journeys? knowing luffy, that's the last thing that would happen. no, it's not even on the list of things he would ever consider! your thoughts made you feel absolutely terrible. you weren't a bad person, so why were you being so uncaring towards this poor girl who had lost so much? envy. jealousy can bring out the absolute worst in people. the lowest of a person's nature gets drawn out someone. and that someone now, was you.

you tried to stay away from her, not wanting to accidentally lash out. you felt bad for her, you did, but you also how far you could go, when jealousy takes apart in decision-making. so you avoid her, and just like that, you were also avoiding luffy. because for some reason, he was always near her, always. it's like he was scared she'd run away?

luffy noticed. but he didn't know the reason you were avoiding her. he's always optimistic and cheerful, so everyone expects him to always be exactly that, except you. you were there for him, allowing him to have bad days. he didn't have to hide his feelings or emotions. it was a relief for him to find someone like you, someone he lived so dearly, who lived him back just as much. it was refreshing, calming, delightful. what happened? what did he do? was he too much? or did he do too little to show you he cares so much, that he'd give you the world if you asked for it. he'd go to the moon and back for you. he doesn't know how, but he'd find a way. and now he lost you? that can't be true. it can't. he won't accept it!

that's how you got in your current situation; his face was buried in the crook of your neck, his hands holding you tightly by your waist, mumbling something about how good you smell.

you had told him the reason you were avoiding was because of your sudden jealousy. he laughed for a good 10 minutes about how ridiculous you were to think of something like that! but in his mind, oh, how relieved he was that you weren't avoiding him because you fell out of love with him. it was because you were too in love with him..

☆ you two ended up having a picnic on deck, trying to keep usopp and chopper away from your neatly set up meals prepared by sanji (duh)

☆ luffy kept teasing you about how jealous you were and that you love him too much for your own good. acting like he wasn't on the verge of being a crying mess because he thought he lost you 🙄

☆ he kept giving you nose tip smooches while telling you you'll never lose him <3

MEI'S NOTE: so, uhm yeah sanji's part was definitely something...

... hope you enjoyed!! <3

[yuri-is-online]

Azul totally has an octopus and shrimp plush that he makes kiss.

Who? How? Usually when I get an ask I know where it comes from (or why anyway) but this time I just looked at my phone and got hit by a bus. But you know what annon? You are so right, he totally does.

notes: they/them used for Yuu, Azul engages in some SSS tier simping (shrimping?), once again this is a joke but I am not taking cold meds this time! Please look at my masterlist for more serious works.

Plush toys do not exist in the ocean, the concept of them was something Azul had been made aware of in his research and made note of in land training camp. But of course, as was the case with more things than he would ever admit to outside of a court order, Azul failed to grasp just how ubiquitous and popular plushies were. He had even been gifted an octopus plush as a prize during one of the first Board Game Club events he attended, something he had intended to brush off as childish until he saw the way his club mates reacted, even if he didn't understand why himself the little guy was clearly an enviable prize. A claim made less believable with how he hadn't let Floyd squeeze it, or Jade poke at it, and he certainly had not agreed to give it to Idia no matter how much he had begged.

The shrimp plush had been a... strategic purchase. No really, if anyone asked he had a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he had bought this specific plush that he had to go out of his way to find, order, and watch out for to make sure that Jade didn't bring it to him with the rest of his mail. The Mostro Lounge was always going to expand to have a merch store, and since plush toys were so popular with humans it made sense to have some! He just needed to ensure this particular brand was of a high enough quality to commission-

No one was going to buy that excuse. All the more reason to keep this little indulgence a secret, even if the seller had been confused by his request for discreet packaging.

"It's just a plush sir?" To them maybe, to him this is a painful sign that he should just say something already but he needs to plan for that and this should help. The two plushes certainly look natural enough together, Azul has seen pictures of some beds that have a bunch of little guys set up on them and he's beginning to see the appeal. Maybe he should get two eels? Smaller than the shrimp, obviously, it's the only way the real ones will ever let him live it down. But by thinking that he is sort of acknowledging who the little shrimp is supposed to represent. And they're sitting next to him in his bed.

He takes back his previous thought, Azul has no idea how humans sleep with things that remind them of the objects of their affections, it's filling his mind with situations.  He props himself up against the headboard, holding both plushies close to his face so he can see them without his glasses.

“I was so lonely.” Azul is incapable of picturing him otherwise.  “I really missed you.”  He sniffles, and the little shrimp jumps to comfort him.

“I missed you too!”  The little shrimp is friends with the octopus?  Azul has no idea when that happened he just got them today-  “Let’s never be apart again ok?”

“Do you really mean that?”  The little octopus tentatively reaches out one of his stubby tentacles towards the shrimp, who takes it happily.  “I don’t want to let you go…”

“You don’t have to.” comforts the little shrimp. “We can get married and do our laundry and taxes together forever and you won’t ever have to be lonely ever again.” 

And that is apparently when Azul decides to come back to his senses, just as he is halfway through humming a wedding march and making the plushies kiss.  He remembers himself enough to keep them from dropping to the floor, but they still fall to his side as he collapses back onto his pillows redder than a boiled lobster.

Maybe he should just… give the little shrimp over to Yuu.�� And make some actual progress on that laundry and taxes bit.

[xxgoblin-dumplingxx]

what’s it like to be around science experiment!reverse reader when something really sweet surprises them? please a tiny fluff for our hearts?

Jason wound his way through the woods, following one of the interminable trails he knows that you take to get to your clearing. Why you're back there today, Jason isn't sure.

He only knows that you are.

He woke up in your bed by himself and you left him a note telling him that that's where you'd gone. Which was progress he supposed. It meant that you weren't just disappearing.

How did you do this? Were you like a homing pigeon? Did you have landmarks you followed? Or had you just cut your way through in a haze so many times that you just did it the way dancers went on pointe? Muscle memory.

When he got there, thankfully, you weren't in mid-explosion. He didn't think he could handle that. But there was a definite... Buzz in the air. It reminded him of white noise. It felt like a miasma of... neutrality. Like walking through a mall on a Saturday. Things-feelings that just... were.

Odd but not unpleasant. Taking up all the empty space in the air but not suffocating him.

And he stopped in the gap you used as a door and waited for a second, waiting for you to finish what looked like replacing a hammock that a storm had ruined and slipped in. "Hey, baby girl," he said, "you good?"

"Yeah," you yawn, "Just needed to move." You take a deep breath and go to pull yourself back into line. Into control and wince. It's nice to let it out and just stop holding on to it all.

Jason moved closer to you and wrapped his arms around you, squeezing you tenderly. "You don't have to do that, you know?" He kissed the side of your head, "I wanna bounce my head off the nearest wall when Bruce talks too long. I can only imagine what it feels like when it's like that from EVERYONE all around you all the time."

"I don't read minds," you remind him.

"Still," he snorted. "It's the closest I can get." He kissed the side of your head again and rubbed your arms. "I don't want you to feel like you have to hide how you're feeling from me. Not like you do everyone else."

"It's just... a lot sometimes."

"I know," he admitted. "But- We- I especially get worried that it's getting to be too much for you to handle alone."

"I get really lonely," you murmur.

Jason nodded. He could understand that too and it made him kiss your temple. "I brought a picnic," he tried, face heating. "It's mostly brownies. And some green apples and nutella. And I brought a book to read I thought if you wanted we could-"

And when soft lips collide with his as you wrap your arms around his neck, it feels like taking a bite of a hot chocolate chip cookie on a cold winter day and the first like of a snow cone on the hottest day of summer. A quiet, simple joy. Laid over the feelings he knew you felt for him. The ones that popped like firecrackers in his chest. And he smiled against your lips. It was a good thing you replaced the hammock- a snack and a nap in the sunshine would be nice.

[tommykinard6]

This blog is here to stay. It will remain a Tommy Kinard and BuckTommy blog.

I’m pissed. I’m grieving. 9-1-1 is my favorite show and now they’ve pulled this shit.

If Lou had left the show because the death threats were too much, his mental health was suffering, or he just couldn’t take it anymore, I would absolutely understand. I’d blame a certain part of the fandom, but I’d respect his decision. But he didn’t even want this. He loves Tommy and Tevan. I don’t know what Tim is thinking.

I know it all feels like a waste right now, but it’s not. Let me recount really quick:

• Buck is bisexual.

• There have been some really important scenes to come out of his discovering his sexuality, including Josh’s speech and his own lesson in fighting for his relationship.

• Tommy Kinard will be a character you pry from my cold dead hands. A gay man who discovered himself late in life and is still living his life genuinely. A man who made mistakes and acknowledges them, but has grown far past them. What a wonderfully rounded character.

• Excepting the end of 806, the beauty of their relationship. They did so much with so little screen time.

It’s not a waste, even though the ending absolutely trashed the progress made.

Resolutely, I do not believe this is the end. I know, I know, “the interviews”. It’s not out of the realm of possibility that they’re misdirecting. Also, they haven’t even written the rest of the season yet. The storyline is fixable if there’s a make up.

Not telling anyone how to feel about Oliver’s comments, but I would caution about using TVline’s article as the Bible. It was a terribly written, heavily biased interview and frankly it’s an insult that it was even conducted.

Even if it is the end, no one has to stop shipping. No one has to leave the fandom. We did not lose. We still got our canon ship and it will forever be an irrevocable fact that it was canon. BuckTommy is endgame for me. I may be disappointed by expectations, but I will never be in the wrong for sticking by that.

Make your displeasure known to Tim and ABC, but do not lose your dignity doing so. Do not engage with the haters. No harassing Lou. You can hold Oliver accountable for his remarks, but no harassment of him. You can call him out without making him the fandom whipping boy. I’ve seen many people latching onto him as the outlet for their feelings on this. Do not harass or bully the writers or actors, but make sure the producers and showrunners know they fucked up.

And most importantly, look after yourselves and each other. We’re still a community and we’re here to stay. This week is one of the worst ever, but we will come out of it.

Thank you, Tommy Kinard, for the hope you gave us, the representation you presented, and the character you were. Thank you Lou for portraying such a character and being such a sweetheart. BuckTommy will forever be in our hearts, endgame or not.

As a reminder, BuckTommy is not the be all end all of the show for queer rep. Hen and Karen, our fabulous queens, and Josh will still always be there. Buck is still bi, no matter what’s next in store for him. Tommy, even if gone forever, is still a significant moment of gay rep. And that’s not even counting the small characters that come in and out. It’s not always done well, but it’s there.

[weirdsht]

Disillusioned 24 .  Perhaps It Is More Than That

a/n: i feel a bit better so let me give you guys a small treat

tags: feelings in progress

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are currently closed but my ask are still open (read pinned)

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Cale had been busy as of late. From learning about the illusionist on White Star’s side to escaping the mountain with the Mercenary Guild and the combined elves. It didn’t help that the white thing somehow got the wrong idea and spread the rumour that he had a god behind him.

It’s tiring. He has to do all sorts of things to get his slacker life.

‘When I’m done with everything I’m going to tell _____ to hire someone to run their county so we can go live somewhere quiet with everyone.’

That is what’s running through Cale’s mind as he finishes his conversation with his family.

“One more thing…”

Or at least he thought they were finished.

Deruth got up from his seat to go out of the great meeting room in favour of a more secluded room.

“Is this something of secrecy?”

“Kind of. It’s bound to get out soon if the situation isn’t fixed, regardless I think you would appreciate the privacy.”

Cale who has no idea what the news is about felt a random cold chill behind his back. His instincts are telling him that his either about to be annoyed or angry.

“Viscount Legalem told me that Count _____ has been unconscious for a while now. They have done everything to see what’s wrong but could not find anything. I have also sent our experts but still found nothing. All of them are saying that they are just asleep.”

As usual, Cale’s instincts were right. He is both annoyed and angry at the news brought to him.

“...”

His feelings are so distraught that he doesn’t know what to say. Duke Deruth looked understandably from the other side of the communication device. As if the rumours about gods’ will weren’t enough something had to happen to _____ the moment he takes his eyes off them.

Cale has a feeling that a god is in play.

But he dared not say his thoughts out loud.

“Our people are still over there. They are on standby in case something happens and will be there until I give the order to come back.”

“Please call them back. I will visit them myself after my business here is done.”

Cale’s father nodded and promised to do as he wished before ending the call.

The commander didn’t know if he felt crestfallen because of his rumours or angry because of the healer’s predicament. Nonetheless, his sour and sad expression made everyone around him concerned.

Some getting the wrong idea. Others understood that the poor man just wanted to be a slacker.

"One more thing young master."

Cale looked at Cage who had more to say after describing the God of Death as a blockhead.

"He told me to tell you that _____-nim is fine. However, I am not sure what he means."

Cage may not know but Cale connected the dots immediately. Everyone can see his gaze hardening at Cage's message.

"That motherfucking god!"

"Did something happen to _____-nim? I tried to check on the Perduellio territory but everything seemed to be normal. They do seem to be more secretive than usual and I couldn’t see _____-nim…"

A look of concern painted the excommunicated priestess' face.

"I'm not sure yet, I have to check myself. But please curse the God of Death twice as much today."

"I sure will young master!"

With that Cage said her goodbyes so Duke Fredo and Cale could talk privately.

During their talk, Cale’s mind became even more complicated. There are already so many things going on and now he has to infiltrate the Endable Kingdom on top of it?

It takes a lot to be the perfect slacker.

He decided to take things one at a time. Prioritizing doing the things he deemed most important.

“We’re going to visit the Perduellio Territory first. Raon get the teleportation circle ready.”

The most important thing to him right now is making sure the healer is fine.

“Are you not in a rush after hearing White Star’s plan?”

“I am, but this is more important.”

That made the vampire duke wonder just what business the young master had there for it to be deemed most important in his list.

“I teleported us inside this room because I know the human wants to check in on _____ as soon as possible!”

Cale thanked the dragon as he stepped out of the magic circle. As soon as he did the first thing he saw was _____. Just as they said they looked like they were just sleeping. As if they just lied down an hour ago and took a nap.

“Choi Han”

He calls out for the swordmaster.

“Tell Viscount Legalem and the other servants that we’re here. Tell them to not come in until I say so.”

“Yes, Cale-nim.”

With that Choi Han went out of the room, leaving only the four inside.

Duke Fredo, who is back to his bird form, cocked his head as he observes the person on the bed. He has heard of them, especially their shocking comeback from the dead.

“Is that Medicus-nim?”

“Yes.”

Cale’s answer was simple as all his attention was on _____. He then got closer to the bed, walking until his knee was hitting the soft mattress. His movements were soft, careful even. As if the slightest thing will disturb the healer.

At Cale's gentle and cautious movements, Duke Fredo understood just how much this person meant to Cale.

"Maybe I should chain you beside me and ask hyung-nim to hire someone to handle your territory work?"

Cale felt extremely frustrated at _____'s unconscious state. He shouldn't have allowed the healer to get out of his sight without one of his people watching over them.

"That seems like a good idea, maybe I should talk to hyung-nim after going to Endable? Hmm?"

He couldn't help but mumble his real thoughts as he stroke the count's hair.

At that moment, _____'s eyes fluttered open. As they did two strands of tears fell from their eyes.

'That fucking bitch, after I'm done with White Star I have to smack that God of Death next!'

Luckily, it doesn't look like the healer would cry. If they did Cale would make sure to remove one of the gods existing in this world.

“Why do you look like Ron gave you raw lemon?”

_____ joked while poking Cale’s furrowed forehead. There’s a slight blush on their face and the redhead isn’t sure if it’s because of their tears or something else.

“You really have the nerve to ask me that?”

“Hahaha I guess I shouldn’t– Why is there a vampire that looks like a bird? Wait are bird vampires real? My ancient power is telling me it isn’t…”

“Ho? You can tell who I am? I thought you were a healer, do you have another power?”

The bird fluttered his wings a little to greet the healer.

“It’s an insider secret, it would be disadvantageous for me to show all my cards when I don’t know you, now would I?”

Duke Fredo lets out a hearty laugh at _____’s response.

“My son picked a good one.”

“Anyways, so we’re going somewhere.”

Cale ignored the vampire’s nonsense.

“Everyone out. Raon put a soundproof barrier in the room.”

“You guys can hang out in Raon’s room next door.”

Cale looked at _____ pointedly at the mention of the room. How is it that a toddler has a room and he doesn't?

“Don’t worry human I’ll share my room with you!”

Raon tried to console the redhead.

“Hahahaha! I’m kidding. It’s actually two rooms in one. One room is for the kids and the other one is for you. There’s a connecting door in the middle so everyone can go as they please.”

“When did you even have the time?”

“I mean all I had to do was say the order and wave my hand. Anyway, that room is beside this one. The first door is Cale’s the second one is Raon’s and the kittens.”

Just in time, Choi Han comes back to hear the count’s instructions. He already saw the rooms they were talking about so he signed himself up as the two’s designated guide.

“Cale-nim I have fulfilled your orders. Viscount Legalem told me that it should be fine if you take _____-nim with you. He is more than capable of handling the affairs here.”

The swordmaster greeted the healer for a bit before guiding himself and the others out of the room.

As soon as the door closed and the sound barrier was up Cale began explaining.

���I’m not from this world. I was from a place called Earth and we had abilities. My previous team leader back there gave me one of his powers called embrace. It’s what I used to get the other earth attribute power.”

…If one can call that a proper explanation.

Good thing _____ is used to Cale throwing fast ones at random times. Being around the redhead so much has rendered them immune to his sudden burst of confessions.

“Hmm, so that’s how your plate didn’t break the balance. That’s good. Now what was this thing about us going somewhere though?”

Cale internally let out a sigh of relief. Contrary to his calm and nonchalant demeanor he was nervous about telling _____ about his real identity. He was nervous that it would cause a rift between them. That they won’t be as closed as they used to be.

Sure he can fix it. Communicate and work it out. But can he take it? Can his heart take being disconnected from them for that long?

Just during the short while they have been apart hurt the redhead. What more when they have to be apart because _____’s mad at him?

His heart wouldn’t be able to handle it.

Cale doesn’t know when he realised his feelings. Maybe it was during the Henituse Battle? Perhaps during the Battle at Castle Leonia? It could even be when he went to ‘visit’ the healer’s family.

Cale Henituse wasn’t sure but one day he woke up fully accepting that his heart beat wildly at the mere thought of _____. His chest feels warm at the thought of seeing them. And he feels irrational anger at the thought of a single scratch on their body.

It was also why he decided to tell the healer everything. He craves that sense of acceptance from them. Wants them to have the privilege of knowing every side of him.

And he was glad that _____ looks ready to accept him for who he is.

Their remaining talk was smooth. Cale updated the healer on everything that went on. From the fake World Tree to the battle that happened in the Stan Territory just a few hours ago. No detail was spared.

A lot of things have to be done. A lot of people have to pay. However, despite all those things Cale’s shoulder feels a little lighter. He feels as though everything else is easier now. Before he would have reasoned that it was because he feels at ease as everything is going well for him.

But not now.

For he has learned that it’s more than that.

He has finally opened his eyes and accepted his feelings.

Accepted that it was indeed more than feelings of responsibility.

[dysfunctionalupsidedown]

Mike Wheeler: Trauma, Insecurity, and "STurn" (Analysis)

In "From the Hair Chair: Finn Wolfhard | Stranger Things", which is available on the official Stranger Things YouTube channel, Finn Wolfhard addresses the question, "What's going on with Mike Wheeler in Season 4?"

Mike Wheeler’s behavior in S4 has confused many, especially general audiences. However, if you look at the bigger picture, his progression (or regression) into the Mike Wheeler we know from S4 does make sense. To get a clear idea of what’s going on with him, we must look at the four seasons sequentially and with a more subtextual eye. We have a few physical puzzle pieces, and for now, we need to fill in the rest with our imagination based on evidence. A Mike point of view isn’t particularly needed to fully understand this, although it would be helpful for the GA and is something I want from S5.

In relation to this particular interview, I’ll examine Stranger Things (2016) for the past and present and “STurn” for the possible future. “STurn” actually does tell us a bit about how Mike’s self-identity arc will potentially continue in S5 and wrap up.

Also, I understand that “STurn” isn’t factual and is not even confirmed to be related to ST5. Though I don’t believe this entire analysis is instantly negated by my use of the playlist, as its only purpose here is to assume a hypothetical future. Aside from the Finn interview, everything else comes straight from the show and holds a reasonable explanation for Mike’s behavior up until the end of S4.

Remember, this post is for fun and speculation, and "STurn" is the best we have right now. Just keep in mind that I’m going into this analysis assuming it’s related to Mike Wheeler in S5. I could be entirely incorrect. Similarly, this interview isn’t wholly factual either, as it’s not what’s in the show, but it relates enough to what we’ve been shown of Mike for me to comment on.

This might be a lengthier post. Be warned.

If you’re still here and interested, I’ll get right into it.

Trauma

Finn first addresses how each of the characters are dealing with their past trauma, and that is a perfect way to describe Mike’s behavior in S4. I think a lot of people, especially the general audience, forget that, yes, while these are all characters, trauma does have the ability to affect them and change their behavior. There was an entire “Your original character before trauma vs. after trauma” trend on TikTok a minute back, and that wasn’t for nothing. 

Mike, just in S1, witnessed one of his best friends go missing, watched this best friend turn up apparently dead (as well as see his “body”), went to his funeral, jumped off of a ledge, saw his other newfound friend disappear, and so much more. Don't even get me started on the following seasons.

Mike is afraid of losing. That’s what happened to him in S1. He lost. First Will, then El. 

His fear of loss and determination to keep things in his life are significant parts of his character and have been since S1. That’s why he was so intent on finding Will. That's why he checked his walkie for El every night. That’s why he acts out in S3-S4. This isn’t an excuse for his behavior, but an explanation. It’s part of his trauma, and we see this in S4 with his fear of losing Will and El again: “Maybe I feel like I lost you or something,” and “I can't lose you,” respectively. I theorize that he fears being out of control regarding these things.

A lack of control also explains why he was so volatile to Will and El during and after Rink-O-Mania. For Will, Mike addresses this directly to him when he apologizes. It’s made evident to the audience that he acted cold in part because he thought Will was slipping away, but truthfully, he wasn’t aloof. He noticed everything about Will’s behavior and even managed to make the tragedy of that day about their friendship. Now, back to the apology, “About the last few days… You didn’t deserve anything… The truth is, the last year has been weird… Maybe I was worrying too much about El… And, I don’t know, maybe I feel like I lost you or something.” His defensiveness during the argument at the rink seems more like a trauma response than straight-up disinterest, which some people apparently think.

For El, I think this translates into him wanting her to need him. If El needs him, then there’s no way he can lose her, right? We know from the show that she doesn’t need him anymore. Mike also acknowledges this multiple times, and that thought terrifies him. In the last episode, he explains this to her, “... The truth is, El, I don’t know how to live without you… I can’t lose you, okay?”

Before Will shows Mike the painting in the van, Mike explains his dilemma. Will tries reassuring Mike, telling him that El will be fine, and Mike says he understands that. Mike then explains his true concern, “But what if after all this is over, she doesn’t need me anymore?... The truth is, when I stumbled on her in the woods, she just needed someone. It’s not fate, it’s not destiny, it’s just simple dumb luck. And one day, she's gonna realize that I’m just some random nerd that got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep. I mean, at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for The Daily Planet.” 

Will continues to comfort him, focusing more on the loss aspect of Mike’s trauma, which is made evident here. But those lines also make it clear that Mike is afraid El will realize his inferiority to her and abandon him. This is a good transition into Mike’s insecurity.

Insecurity

I’ve seen people argue against what Finn says here because Mike is part of the somewhat “outcast” group at school. I don’t think trying to argue that takes away from the fact that Mike did, does, and will continue to try and lead a “normal” lifestyle. He’s a teenage boy with a girlfriend and a friend group he fits into. That’s normal. He’s trying to get by. 

It was the same in S3. Mike was a kid with friends, a girlfriend, and a new want for maturity. It’s not unrealistic that the character is aging out of or into specific behaviors, especially ones that he’s previously exhibited. That leads us to his insecurity. 

We’ve had hints of it starting as far back as S1E3, when Troy injures Mike, and he initially lies about it to El so that he doesn’t seem like a loser. Similarly, these themes pick up with Will in S3E3 during their fight in the rain, “...We’re not kids anymore. I mean, what did you think, really? That we were never gonna get girlfriends? That we were just gonna sit in my basement all day and play games for the rest of our lives?”

Curiously, Mike is shown to be especially “normal” in California. He dresses differently than he does in Hawkins and acts more aloof. As Argyle says, “It’s a shitty knock-off.” Skipping forward to the “... She's gonna realize that I’m just some random nerd that got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep… at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for The Daily Planet” line, and we have a good enough view of Mike’s internal conflict.

He is deeply insecure, and it seems particularly so around El. I don’t know if this was addressed in the show, and I wish we had seen some of Mike’s letters, but does El even know about the Hellfire Club? I don’t believe we’re given any indication that she does, which could imply that Mike kept it hidden from her. It wouldn’t be surprising, considering his complete attitude change in California. Also keeping in mind that Mike stopped playing D&D when he was with her in S3 and only continued to play in S4 while El was away.

Mike also displays this insecurity by choosing to distance Will. For what reason, I can’t say for sure, but it’s probably something “abnormal.” 

Regardless, his insecurity ties into his fear of loss. The more normal he is, the more things he can maintain in life and the less he has to lose. Especially when it comes to El. It all stems back to his fear, not genuine malintent, and I see too many viewers misunderstand this. 

It also works the opposite way, to a different and lesser extent. If he’s out of Hellfire Club, he loses his “normal teenage clique.” Aside from losing El completely as someone he profoundly cares about, if he loses El as a partner, he loses his girlfriend. That’s a blow to his normality. 

Will is confusing to me. If he “loses” Will, just like he felt he did at the beginning of S4, he falls more into the pattern of trying to be normal. There’s no impact on his normality. By keeping Will at arms-length, Mike gravitated more towards his “shitty knock-off” version of himself. Something about Will brings out what Mike feels is abnormal in him, so by distancing himself, he could avoid it altogether. That’s likely in part what caused such a conflict at the beginning of S4: Mike’s inability to be “normal” while fully keeping Will in his life and vice versa, his inability to lose Will just to maintain normalcy.

"STurn"

We’ve focused on trauma and insecurity. Now, it’s time for self-identity. I think that's a theme in store for the future. I'll refer back to the “STurn” analysis I previously did.

Many of the songs on this playlist contain themes of a false identity. I’ll start with “Angst In My Pants” first. To quote my "STurn" analysis:

This song is about a person attempting to be someone they're not, suppressing who they really are, and it ultimately leading to dissatisfaction. The lyrics, "You can dress nautical / Learn to tie knots / Take lots of Dramamine / Out on your yacht" describe a faux lifestyle one lives that only serves to hurt them in the end: The idea of putting on a self-harming persona. This could be what Mike is going through in S5.

Next, we have "Substitute":

This track is about an idealized version of someone being put in place of their true self. The narrator describes a scenario in which their partner sees a version of them, "I'm a substitute for another guy / I look pretty tall but my heels are high / The simple things you see are all complicated / I look bloody young, but I'm just back-dated, yeah", that is unrealistic and put on, as seen in the lyrics "Substitute your lies for fact / I see right through your plastic mac / I look all white, but my dad was black / My fine-looking suit is really made out of sack"... The concept of a guise applies well to Mike, as referenced in Angst In My Pants. A recurring theme of hiding oneself really makes me think Mike is going to completely abandon his interests for a different lifestyle. I believe Finn has also mentioned that Mike wants to be as "normal" as possible, so I can't wait to see [how far] they take that idea. It could also be him realizing how he's been acting, and admitting that this "romanticized" version isn't true to him.

Finally, "The Rebel Kind":

Like The Better Side, I couldn't find any lyrics, so I'm doing it by ear. Though, I'm happy to say that this song is about a desire to embrace differences and rebellion. "We'll be free to run with the rebel kind" and "It's not easy, but I don't mind / I just want to run with the rebel kind" establish that. The track appears to tie into Mike's insecurity struggles throughout the playlist. It could be the narrator's struggle to keep up with societal norms before finally giving in to their truth instead of trying to conform, read as "they call us rebels but don't get how hard it is to for us to keep up." On the other hand, it could be the narrator commenting on how society doesn't understand people like them, and, by embracing their true selves, it proves more about who they are than conforming ever would; read as, "you think we're the rebellious ones, but you don't understand that we're more self-secure and strong than you'll ever be." I can see both of these interpretations working for Mike and his connection to the Party. The progression of insecurity in Angst In My Pants and potential realization of this guise in Substitute is wrapped up by Mike's self-acceptance here. I really hope this is how it plays out in S5.

Conclusion

Mike's brewing insecurity, paired with his trauma of loss, seems like it may boil over in S5. I theorize that he’ll drift even more into his “shitty knock-off” self, even if just on the surface, and do whatever he can to maintain normalcy in his life. Whether this leads to more conflict with Will, we’ll have to wait and see.

Besides that, Mike might eventually accept his "differences." He also may be willing to cope with loss for what it is, even if it’s the loss of the normalcy he tries so hard to maintain in certain situations. I can see Mike having a heavy emphasis on self-identity in S5, and as I said earlier, I can’t wait to see where they take that.

Thank you for reading; I hope you enjoyed!

As is customary with all my posts, if anything here is incorrect or you believe there’s something I should add, feel free to let me know. I’d love to have more conversations about Mike and read all the predictions for S5 I can.

[knightyoomyoui]

TWICE x M Reader - "Cry For Me": PART 4

A/N: We're now down to three remaining parts for this series. Hopefully I still made the progress of the story clear despite the word count being minimized compared to the previous parts.  Been months since I posted the last part, so let's see where we left off and how it will go for YN and the girls again on their respective agendas.

PREVIOUSLY ON CRY FOR ME: PART 3...

"Well, I have to go now. I still have somewhere to go, I just came here to remind about our supposed meetup yesterday." Jeongyeon excused herself.

"Oh okay, be safe on the road Jeongyeon." You understand, nodding softly and smiling at her. "Goodbye and thanks for the time!"

"You too, YN." Jeongyeon waved her hand at you, but instead you returned the gesture by wrapping her around on your embrance, sending undescribable sensation tingling around her body. "I-it's really good to have you back, Jeong.", you remarked about the redefinition of your relationship with her. Jeongyeon listened, her heart surprisingly softened as she heard the tenderness in his voice.

Now that you disappeared in front of her and entered the building again, that left Jeongyeon to be stunned once again at your heartful and cheerful action, she sighed deeply and clenched her fists at how tough it is again to resist the glimpse of your old being while knowing the bitter truth of it that you still haven't changed, leading yourself astray.

She watched your back distancing away from her, breathing gets heavier as a result of a familiar longing feeling increasing, having her saddened at your lunch that brings her back to that particular time in the past when she had her first date with you and those other numerous times you had to take her outside before, almost giving the same vibes in comparison.

The next day, you were busy reviewing all of the documents you needed to sign and deliver to your coworkers for arranging when your thoughts turned to Tzuyu, realizing that you hadn't caught up with her yet after that disappointing and cold night you two had.

Checking the mini-calendar on your desk, you discovered that tomorrow marks your seventh monthsary with her. After completing all of the necessary papers, you closed several tabs on your computer and opened a new one to search the internet for the best restaurant to go to on a date with your partner.

Going through your automatic dispenser to refill your cup with some fresh black coffee, you dialed Tzuyu’s phone number and waited for her response as it rang. 20 seconds had passed, but your call was instead left unanswered and labeled ‘cannot be reached’. You just thought that she’s probably busy right now with her work, and you understood that it’s not even her break yet, so you’ll just save it for later.

You then went to another option of leaving her a message to invite her. “Hey Tzu, can we go out tomorrow? It’s your day off, and we can spend time together for our anniversary. You’ll definitely love our date, so please accept. Love you! ” You sent it to her before shutting it off and taking a sip of your hot beverage.

Hours later, after you have called it a time to dismiss as you just played games for an hour without any task left to do aside from those you have completed already, you reopened your message box and noticed that Tzuyu had replied. A grin appeared on your face as she agreed for you to take her out.

However, that wasn’t the only reason what made you happy.

You left the building and greeted your workmates to take care of themselves on way home and some goodnights, you went to your car and drift away towards the destination you have in mind to end this day in a positive note.

Not much of a kilometer away, you parked in a spa that is still brightly lit, along with the rest of the places here and the lampposts beside the streetwalks.

You stepped on the entrance and noticed that the door already had a sign hanging with a message saying “Sorry, we are closed,” but you just scoffed and continued to open the door for yourself. Upon entering the aforementioned place, the room was quiet, the ambiance was soothing, and widely spaced as there's no crowd around.

Except for this other short haired woman who shares the same room as him tonight. You watched her gather all the things that they usually use for their customers and return them to their rightful place.

Hearing your footsteps on the floor echoing through the room, she has found your presence from the distance. She looked around and you matched a wide gummy smile that almost identical but not as large as Mina’s.

She wears a simple gray masseuse uniform with thigh high stockings in combo. You walked closer to her and made yourself relax on the vacant chair near her.

“My special regular customer has arrived, I see.” She teased and hid a smile as she carries a tray along with her. “Exhausted with work?”

“Kinda. Still felt like I need it though.” You said as you leaned back on the chair and closed your eyes while you waited for her. “How about you? Was there many customers today?”

“Yeah,. there’s like some group of women who came here earlier to do some bit of makeover before they attend some event or something. I heard it was a wedding.” She said, still feeling the effects of multitasking on assisting them for massage and beauty service both being a manager and a worker at the same time.

“Hmm. Then we do both really need to make ourselves more cozy for tonight, aren’t we?” You smiled as you watched her approached you. She sat beside you and caressed your arm.

“Are you perhaps thinking about doing it, YN?” She wheezed.

“Oh I have a lot of things in mind.” You smirked, holding her hand and rubbing it with your thumb.

“I would like for us to go all the way but let’s save it for next time. My body felt like it’s about to crumble tonight.” She sighed, slumping her shoulders.

You just chuckled and slapped her arm. “Easy, I’m talking about accompanying you and doing some massage.”

Jihyo leaned aback. “You can? But you’re tired too, though. You don’t need to be if you can’.”

“Nah, don’t mind me. In fact, I can still do it. I mean, I won’t initiate on you in the first place if I knew I can’t, right?” You winked, making her blush. “Let me help you also this time and return the favor, you’re not the only one who has skills on helping people relax and I came here because I need you right now, Jihyo.” You said, hiding the double meaning of it by referring to your girlfriend Tzuyu who wasn’t able to provide your urge yesterday when she went through a bad day to be entertained.

You pulled her arm to place her closer on you. The woman named Jihyo crashed against your body. She fixed her position on top of you, crouching against yours as you began kissing her deeply.

“And also, it’s fine with me if we can’t do it tonight. We can still find some way to help our urges while we give each other some body relaxation.”

“You do you, then. Take me to paradise, YN.”

Jihyo returned the intimacy, dragging her lips along with your movement. She felt her body heaten up with your hands groping her curves, on every parts you can reach on her. It was an easy access, as she’s petite compared to your size. You could’ve manhandled her under your dominance but you respect her decision to disregard it for now.

“I’ll be right back.” Jihyo cut your kiss with her as she gets up from your body, pushing herself away to stand and search for something to leave you for a while. Not wanting to keep you unattended, she signals you with a seductive “come hither” motion along with some bottle of herbal oil and lube she carries with her.

You immediately stand up and entered a familiar private room, the spot where you first met Jihyo after servicing you with her “special massage”. The table is all clean and prepared, she placed the bottles on the tray and not even bothering to have any questions, you just watched Jihyo taking off her uniform from top to bottom.

Carefully concentrating on every action she does, the clothes have been loosened and dropped on the floor. She steps out of her heels and just like that, Jihyo is now standing in front of you, barely naked with fabulous matching pair of red lingerie and black stockings.

You felt more intense as Jihyo smirked at you and she started climbing on the table. You viewed every glorious parts of her sexy and alluring body that wouldn’t be able to resist anytime.

“I can’t be the only who’ll be left hanging here without any clothes on. Take it off so that we can start.” Jihyo sat on the surface and she reaches for your coat, spreading it to slip through your shoulders. Then she proceeds to unbutton your white polo and opens up one of her desires for men, those packed set of abs that you’ve worked hard to built thanks also to Momo’s help.

She licks her lips as her hands travelled through your crotch and sensed something large bulging on the center. “Couldn’t control it, huh?”

“How could I be? You’re so damn sexy right now, Jihyo.” You said breathily as you sneakily glanced down at her deep cleavage forming as her arms compressed with the lustful touches she applies on your groin area.

“Let’s not keep your friend suffering while waiting, start ahead first with my back. It’s where it hurts a lot.” She said as she laid down on the table with her front figure first.

Her entire back frame all presented to you, you grabbed the bottle and spurted some amount of oil on your hands and rubbed it to create some heat, you then began spreading it across Jihyo’s toned back. Every glide, pound, and dig you create with your strong fingers across her succulent, slippery and smooth tanned skin, it arouses you more when you start hearing her hums and moans especially when you unclasp her bra and proceeded focusing on her sides.

And you spent the rest of the night with a much-needed session to satisfy and release your temptations and pleasures with Jihyo through different segments of a wild body massage.

The following day after finally meeting Jihyo, you shifted back to your responsibilities as a thoughtful and loving boyfriend to one of the gorgeous women you have ever pulled while pretending to not have any idea that you didn’t just met and became wild with another woman than her as usual. You visited Tzuyu’s house with her parents and there she was, dressed in a simple orange outfit that still fits her so great as always.

Her visual has this magic that makes her look blooming on every attire she puts on, and ofcourse the other part about it which is your favorite is that you’re the only one who could also take those off from her and admire her body even further.

Thinking that hopefully it happens on your special day with her and might be the perfect “next time” that she states few days ago to do it, you acted normal and presented yourself as a nice boyfriend to her in front of her parents. You excused her to them and brought her to your car.

As she sat beside you, you kissed her on the cheek and smiled at her. “Happy Monthsary, Tzu. I’ll do my best to make this special for the both of us, okay?”

“Okay.” She only replied with a smile that you weren’t aware that it’s full of force that she did with it.

You drove her to the restaurant of your choosing, after winning your consideration through some background check and reception it received from its previous customers. It had you assured that this would be a wonderful location for you to pour your love on this breathtaking woman.

Holding her hand, you had her following you to the entrance and to be assisted by the receptionist. “Reserved table for Mr. YN LN, please.”

“There’s one near at the back, sir.” She pointed at the direction after checking your inquiry. “I suppose you’re taking her on some lovely date tonight, sir.”

“More than that. It’s our monthsary today.”

“Oh is that so? Congratulations to the both of you. I wish you both a well-spent evening here at Twice’s.”

“Thank you.” Both you and Tzuyu replied and bowed at her respectfully.

“Follow me, please.” The receptionist led the way and showed you both the spot where you’ll both be having to enjoy the rest of the night being alone together just like what you needed to be.

You set the chair for Tzuyu like a gentleman and she takes it with no hesitation. You made your seat in front of her and both then looked around at the indoor atmosphere it possess.

“So, did you like the place?” You asked her. “I went to find the perfect one just for you.”

“It was great.” She answered plainly. You nodded and felt relieved at her response.

“We’re almost surpassing to a year now, yet it still feels like yesterday since the first time I met you.” You said to her. Tzuyu just watches you and nodded before she lowered her head.

“Have you perhaps thought of what it would be for us in the future, Tzuyu? I-if we’re still gonna be like this?”

“Sometimes.” She said nonchalantly.. “I do care for what’s going to happen someday but I don’t make it affect me too much, I just leave it off to what we have right now. Because I don’t want to call it in advance because of the things that could come for us to face first before we get through there.”

“But you don’t want to let it happen, right?”

“Happen what?”

“That there might be a time that it’ll take us two apart and ruin what we would’ve have grow together. Not only for us, but for our family that I wish we could create in the future.”

Tzuyu looked at you speechlessly after those words came out from your mouth. She wouldn’t deny that it was indeed sweet and touching, to hear your lover being frightful of the challenges that them as a couple might have to deal with and conquer together for the sake of a better life to maintain as time progresses.

But she can’t be fooled anymore by your fluffy talks and foolish acts of pity. She has learned enough about the real you. She starts to feel her hatred tense up, filling her insides at how could you just say all of that without any complete sincerity and determination.

If you can act at whatever you do or say in front of her just to hide your faulty secrets, she wouldn’t let herself to lose through these ridiculous game you have placed her in. She wants to strike back for making her feel disposable and underestimated. Just because you created these scheme that doesn’t mean that you’ll win also. You may be the one in control and know the mischievous moves you have to execute but if Tzuyu becomes just as unpredictable or should she say… even more, there’s got to be a way to turn the tables that seemed impossible around.

And that is through unveiling every piece of the lies and misconceptions that you have shared not only her, but for Nayeon and Jeongyeon who fell victim into his disguise.

If you may be thinking that you just could get away with all your pretend, Tzuyu wants to be the one who will be involve in putting the shameful side of yours in full attention and revelation for everybody to witness.

She would’ve love to share her future and dreams having you by her side but it all changes beginning today.

From wanting you to change her life for the better forever to Tzuyu wanting you to be gone out of her heart that you didn’t deserve to attain and non-existent to her.

Her eyes largened and stared down in fury at the table while she felt her fists clenching at the cloth of her dress imagining every amount karma she wants to unleash on you.

“Tzuyu, are you okay?” You asked her. “That table won’t do no harm on you, don’t threaten it too much with your stares.I’m right here, you can share what troubles you..” You joked.

If only you know that she actually wants to do it all on you by hurting you in any procedure she would do it in no time just to see you cry for her in mercy. Tzuyu thought about it.

“S-sorry. I might’ve spaced out. If f only the table can speak, it would express its fear on me.”

“Yeah, I wonder why you seemed mad. Did anything happen? Was there a reason?”

“Yeah, that’s me having a date with a cheater I couldn’t wait to expose and dump him out to where he belongs..” She said on her inner thoughts but again, she had to keep her composure, not wanting to create any scandal or ruckus in such public place that elegant people like her manages their time with their company.

She wants to embarass only you, and she rather prefer to see it all by herself to savor each moment.

“Nothing.” She fakely shook it off and chuckled.

“Okay…” You just understood her. “Just tell me if there’s something wrong, okay?”

“Alright.” But deep down, Tzuyu doesn’t want to, because doing it would rather worsen her mood knowing that the main problem is the one who is she currently facing at.

The date went smooth in your opinion, although you have been noticing that Tzuyu is acting strange and less expressive than usual. You tried your best to cheer her up and with the smiles she’s been giving to you, it does made you assured that it’s effective of making you look a concerned and caring boyfriend for Tzuyu.

Unfortunately, your plan to have an intimate time with Tzuyu failed as she requested to go home already because she is tired and getting sleepy. You helped her sleep and left her home, with her parents thanking you for making Tzuyu happy on celebrating another milestone of your relationship with her. Unbeknownst to you, Jeongyeon who got stuck into a light traffic inside a taxicab, saw you and Tzuyu depart from the restaurant. Observing Tzuyu holding a large bouquet of flowers while holding your right hand as both strolled through the sidewalk and crossed the street, Jeongyeon felt an immense jealousy for the girl you replaced instead of her who was the first wife you ever had.

She slowly frowned. The cab then continues to detach her away from the painful sight she has just witnessed as the vehicles went moving again.

Meanwhile, Tzuyu on her bedroom, woke up right after you closed the door. A teardrop filled with hatred and anger fell on her face, her heart aching knowing at the fact that you’ll be back on doing your habit of leaving her again to whoever that girl she had caught you sharing a time together at the gym.

The next morning, Momo received a message from you and she directly informed Nayeon about it, saying that you wouldn’t be able to meet her today at the gym because you’re busy and you just had your body massaged few days ago.

Nayeon then began wondering who would you be seeing next today if not Momo already. She then alerted Jeongyeon that you may try to connect with her while Momo did the same for Sana. Tzuyu on the other hand, was left unbothered by Nayeon now because she already knew that the two would be having a date yesterday.

This is now a part of their plan to keep you on track on whatever bullshit you may attempt to do behind their backs, and Nayeon would be leading the way to remain her eyes spying on you discreetly as the rest of the girls update her about your possible whereabouts to visit.

You could say that Nayeon has became obsessed on chasing hell to put your deceitful intentions into its rightful punishment.

Without any of their idea, you arrived to a café after craving for some freshly brewed coffee solely made by your most favorite barista in this place.

You went to the cashier and there she is, immediately serving you with all welcome. “I suppose you had enough of palpitating your chest with your bland coffee you got there on your office.”

“You’re too harsh on me, but you’re also right Chaeyoung. Well, what’s new that you would like to recommend me to try?”

“Our special Caramel Mocchiato iced coffee. Tasted it yesterday and it’s splendid. Would you like it?”

“Ofcourse, I have trust on your taste. It was great, I could tell when I already got one from the source too.” You winked and clicked your tongue, turning Chaeyoung’s cheeks reddish as she remembered that moment you’re implying at.

“Damn it, now’s not the time to be flirty, YN. I’m at work.” She warned you.

“Alright alright, fine. Give it to me.” You said as you started pulling out a credit card on your wallet. Chaeyoung sighed and shook her head at your silliness. You grabbed a seat for yourself and waited patiently for your beloved girl to serve you the coffee you’re excited to taste made purely by the skills of this pretty barista.

“Here’s your Caramel Mocchiato.” Chaeyoung said, placing it on your table. She stood in front of you as she observed you take a sip from it. You simmered it on your mouth and analyzed your opinion about the drink she recommended you.

Chaeyoung’s nervousness was then replaced by uplift when she saw your face brightened after you swallowed it. “Take it as my new usual now, Chaeng. That was delicious.”

She playfully punched you on the shoulder. “Told you. I’m glad you like it.”

“I knew I would be, it was made by you. You never cease to disappoint me so far, Chaeyoung. Maybe this is why I still keep myself chasing for your interest.” You said with a smile. Chaeyoung grinned and pinched your cheek.

“You want a good news? I’m liking every single bit of what you do to me, YN.” She stated before she walked away with confidence from you. You wheezed and chuckled, delighted to hear it from her.

10 minutes after you left, Chaeyoung was still servicing the customers in line with their orders until a certain someone reached her turn, who not only demanded for her choice through the menu, but also the full attention of the barista to join her for an abrupt discussion about something serious, which led the latter into curiousity.

[minggukieology]

편지- Letter ✍️

Now that the dust has settled, I found a peaceful moment in the afternoon to sit down in silence and listen to Letter while trying to unpack all my thoughts. This lengthy post will be more in the tone of my personal stance and connection with the song, omitting going into too much detail about the grammar and explaining Korean expressions but still I will try to explain how the song makes an impression with the specific language used.

My reflections:

From the beginning onwards, the song sounds very delicate, while Jimin is singing to us in the polite form and bringing up multiple themes that are characteristic for the ARMY fandom and our path with the boys over the years: the desert, the sea, the cold winter and a warm spring day... He is wishing us to be happier and for this to last forever, while promising to be there when you feel like falling and cherishing all the memories we made together.

In that way, I, as a listener, am in a headspace where I am reminiscing on our story with Jimin as an idol and all we've been through together with him (and trust me, if you have joined just recently, there has been a lot darker times)...

Though as the song progresses and as the refrain comes on, the urgency to express his emotions intensifies together with the instrumental. And this is where Jungkook's vocals come in too. Jimin with the help of Jungkook is suddenly singing in a casual (lower politiness) form as if directly trying to reach out to the person on the listening end individually, addressing every line with a higher intensity and more personally. It just feels more intimate, even more earnest and more powerful. Moreover, the lyrics and chosen words feel more targeted at an individual rather than towards a group (even the scrapped lyrics felt more like he was writing towards a single person in this section).

Whatever the reason for Jungkook's appearance in this part, it makes the emotional impact even more convincing.

....

No matter what angle you may choose, Letter is an incredibly heartfelt track packed with strong emotions. I believe it's a song for ARMY and at the same time it is a song for someone in Jimin's life that has been his lifeline and his strong heart connection to them prompted him to write these lyrics woven with thick emotions.

That being said, Jimin sharing this unique space with Jungkook to support him in his emotional expression with his hidden layered vocals and some more audible backing vocals speaks volumes. Just the fact that Jungkook is present on a track (and on the most intense and personal part of the track) where Jimin is earnestly trying to deliver a message to the listener from the depths of his heart is special, no matter how anyone subjectively wants to interpret the song and its content: Do you think they are singing directly to ARMY? Great! I'd argue having someone that shares the same love and commitment, understands what you're feeling and is able to channel the same emotions as you, and as a testament to your bond you let them contribute to your own artistic expression with theirs, is incredibly precious.

There are things that Jimin will never comment on, so I doubt we will ever find out how this song and Jungkook's feature came to be besides what we already heard. Jimin is incredibly smart in how he tailors his message and communication with the broader audience. Thus, while on the surface the public sees him dancing sensually with female dancers, a longer careful look would give you a view of the half-half makeup and other dichotomies in the choreo/concepts, specifically chosen pieces of clothing, specially crafted details in the performance sets, etc. And the same thing applies to the song Letter too. Only after listening closely, you'll get to uncover layer by layer what lies hidden in this "hidden" track. On top of that, Jungkook casually showing he learnt the chords for this song in a random live broadcast out of nowhere prior to the release of the album just shows there is more to the story than we'll be ever told.

Personally, I will be keeping this song close to my heart and holding onto it until their military service concludes. It has become my own lifeline to my life as a fan and getting to hear Jimin and Jungkook together delivering these precious words is something I will cherish forever 🙏

[valorant-drabbles]

Hallo! I'm the one who requested the iso x reader from last time （＾ｖ＾）

I was wondering if you could make a part two showing how they slowly progressed with each other if it's alright since I really loved the first part and I'm brain rotting hard about Iso

PS - I'll go by ♠️spade anon from now on

Not me accidentally creating a multi-part slow burn Iso fic!! Oh boy

Could be seen as platonic or romantic… but if people want a part 3, it’ll definitely be more romantic.

Gender neutral reader!

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Mild Cursing, Spoiler for Part 1 of this fic

Cold Shoulder

Reader x Iso

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |

It had been about three weeks since the incident; since you and Iso had your little quarrel, and inevitably having started to understand one another. It was definitely a challenge for you, since you’d struggled for years when it came to getting along with people outside of work hours. Thankfully, Iso was proving to be extremely patient and courteous towards you and your growth. That wasn’t to say he didn’t get irritated every so often if he noticed you slipping back into your old, cold habits…

But you were making a genuine effort. What more could he ask for?

Despite it only having been a few weeks, you and Iso had started getting along quite quickly. He’d made it clear that you were always welcome to join him if you were feeling lonely- and considering your friend quantity in the Protocol was quite low, you were finding yourself ‘lonely’ often. It was strange- last month, you were completely fine being on your own. And now, if you went a few days without a casual conversation with somebody… you felt an odd emptiness inside your chest. A yearning for connection that you’d thought you’d severed long ago.

There were many days where Iso would return to his room after training to find you sat on his bed, listening to the playlist he’d shared with you. Usually you were reading, or watching movies on your laptop… passing the time until he’d return and possibly join you. Iso knew you had a bit of trouble asking to spend time together, so when you were in his room- it was kind of obvious why you were there. Once he’d shower and change clothes, he’d settle into bed and join you in whatever you were doing.

Overtime, this became routine. On days neither of you had a mission, you’d spend time together in the comfort of Iso’s room… quietly bonding, occasionally starting conversations- though usually it was Iso initiating. After all, even after all this time, he still found you to be absolutely fascinating, and desired to learn more about you.

“What do you think we learn from fighting ourselves?” Iso’s voice cut through the current silence filling the bedroom, causing you to look up from your book, eyebrow raised curiously at the sudden query.

“… what?”

“Ah- sorry. That came from nowhere.” Iso apologized quietly, his gaze sheepishly moving away from where you were watching him. “I was just… thinking about our mirror selves. From Omega Earth. How they look and act almost exactly like us- and our teammates as well.”

“Mhm. What about them, though?” You questioned further, noticing Iso shift in his seat.

“I’ve… had this question on my mind ever since I saw myself on the other team. ‘What do we learn from fighting ourselves?’… I’ve asked a few of the others, but… honestly, none of them had an answer I was looking for.” Iso grimaced softly at the memory of him asking Phoenix this question, only for the Brit to cockily answer ‘How much better I am compared to that fake me!’.

You took a moment to ponder his question. This was something you genuinely appreciated about spending time with Iso- he posed questions that made you think. Nothing too philosophical, usually… but it kept conversations interesting, and additionally helped the two of you learn more about how the other thinks.

“I guess… we learn our weaknesses.” You answer after about a minute of silence. “Though it’s not ideal… there’s certain circumstances where our double will be better than us at something. It’ll reveal a weak point in our abilities… and give us something to work towards improving. Alternatively, we learn the weakness of our double, and how to potentially exploit it if need be.” Your shoulders shrugged slightly, as you bit gently at the end of the pen in your hand. “It can also help us to… uh…”

Your hesitance to speak further piques Iso’s curiosity, and his gaze moves to you. He can’t help but notice your cheeks glowing a faint shade of red. You seldom showed emotion like this… allowing yourself to be embarrassed or even revealing a moment of weakness. Despite his desire to urge you into finishing your thought, he knew pushing you to answer would just make you uncomfortable. And, there was the possibility it could cause you to throw out your walls again, giving him the cold shoulder again- he couldn’t risk that. So, he waited.

As much as you wanted to change the topic or just… leave the thought unfinished, Iso’s eyes on you made it clear that he really wanted to know what you were thinking.

“Y/N?” Iso called out quietly. A sigh escaped you reluctantly, as you turned your body to face away from him slightly- only so that he would have trouble seeing how flushed your face had become.

“It… it also helps us to… see what we couldn’t see before. In our own teammates.” You finally continue, deciding to occupy your twitching hands with twirling your pen between your fingers. “How much our team would do to… to protect us. In the face of danger. The threat of death is always so real when you know the enemy won’t hesitate to kill you… sometimes you forget how dangerous it can be. How quickly you can lose somebody. And… how… if a teammate dies, you might go about the rest of your life… regretting that you never got to know them better. Or you might die with the same regret…” You swallow.

You thought back on the day you nearly died at Pearl almost every day. It all felt so surreal… the rush of emotion you felt when you saw Iso in danger? The searing pain from the bullets that had pierced your body?… the last thing you see being Iso using your Operator to take down the approaching threats…

His words echoing constantly in your mind.

“Don’t you dare die on me, Y/N.”

You’d always been so cold towards him… never giving him any reason to like your company. And yet… Iso risked his own life to save yours. With no hesitation.

“Y/N.” It was only after feeling Iso’s hand on your own that you realized he’d been calling your name. His voice was gentle, worry lacing the elegance he spoke your name with. His gaze on you was equally as concerned. It was only in that moment, seeing your own reflection in his eyes, where you notice you’d started crying.

“Shit.” You pull your hand away from Iso’s, and quickly moved to wipe your face of any tears that may had fallen. This was… new. You never let such fragile emotions show in front of the other agents… you only ever let out your piled up emotions behind closed doors, where nobody could see. Where nobody could know. “Sorry, I don’t… know why I’m crying. Can you just forget I said any of that?” You requested, though your voice wavered as you spoke, making you cringe internally. Were you truly so emotional when you thought back on that day…?

Without another word, you found yourself being pulled into Iso’s lap, his arms wrapped around you comfortingly, yet not intrusively. Physical contact wasn’t something you were used to either, but… in that moment? It felt… incredible. You needed this… so badly. For how long you’d needed it for, you didn’t know. You just knew you never wanted this moment to end- as soft as that sounded.

“I’m… not going to let either of us die with that regret.” Iso promised ever so softly, with his head resting comfortably against your shoulder. “And believe me, I don’t intend on dying anytime soon. So you don’t have to worry to much about missed opportunities to… get to know each other. And stuff.”

You kept your face hidden away from Iso; thankful he wasn’t making an effort to look regardless. You felt incredibly vulnerable in that moment… so you truly appreciated that Iso was making the effort to give you some level of privacy. At least as you attempted to pull yourself together again.

“I… I’m glad that… you didn’t give up on me.” You mumble gently against his chest. “… even though I was kind of an asshole to you.”

“Oh, no. You were a total asshole.” Iso chimed. You could just hear the grin on his face through his voice. It made you want to strangle him… not to death, per se.

“… besides. There’s no way I’d give up on someone as… incredible as you.”

Iso’s hand managed to find yours once again, and slowly, gently, you found your fingers intertwining with his without even thinking about it. The previously jarring silence in the room had been replaced with an air of comfortable quiet, as the two of you sat in each other’s company.

You never thought you’d have this thought towards another agent… but…

You really did enjoy Iso’s company. To what extent?… You were unsure.

Yet you enjoyed it regardless.

[rvnwtch]

Here’s my post for our Ravenwatch event! I might try to turn it into something longer in the future. I thought it would be fun to write Fennorian taking Vestige’s blood and NOT being nervous about doing it.

The sun had set a while ago, and it was beginning to get chilly out when Fennorian broke the peaceful silence between them, “My flask is getting a little low. It’s probably time to call it a night.”

They’d made good progress today. Fenn’s lead had sent them to a small seaside town. They’d even managed to track a vampire back to its coven. It wasn’t quite time to interrupt the vampire’s plans yet, so they’d agreed to spend some time in the library planning their next move. 

Vestige hummed in disappointment. “Already?” 

Fennorian smiled sheepishly and held his flask up before them. “I apologize, I’ve been drinking from it more frequently today.” He avoided Vestige’s eyes as he said this. 

In the back of their mind, they hoped they weren’t the reason he’d needed his flask more. But the lack of eye contact had basically confirmed it.

“It’s not that! It’s just that I feel like we only just met up again.” Vestige said, trying not to pout. They were an adult, they could very well act like one.

Smiling sympathetically, Fennorian said “I feel the same. Unfortunately, I do need to get blood somehow and I don’t think the people here in town would be comfortable around us if they knew I was a vampire.”

Vestige could understand that. People starting to go missing in town and suddenly a vampire is politely asking for a quick sip? That would not go down well. 

Still, the Vestige couldn’t help but lament the idea of spending more time together. Then, a thought occurred to them. Was it inappropriate to offer up their own blood? They didn’t think so, but it was a line the two of them had yet to cross. Maybe he didn’t want to drink their blood. They weighed the options in their head, rocking on their feet. 

They could spend more time alone in their inn room, or more time with Fennorian after a bit of potential awkwardness? 

 Finally they said, “If it isn’t too strange… I don’t mind if you have a little bit of mine.” They immediately pressed their lips together in embarrassment. Avoiding eye contact, Vestige kept walking as if they hadn’t said anything. 

“Oh!” Fennorian said in surprise. Vestige only came to a stop when he did. “I-I don’t know what to say. You trust me that much?” 

Vestige looked up and almost regretted it. He was openly studying them and was failing at hiding the wonder on his face. “I do.” 

They almost expected him to say “You don’t have to offer anything if you really don’t want to.” But they both already knew this. 

Instead he said, “If you’re really comfortable I wouldn’t be opposed to it.” 

They were stunned by his quick agreement. Why did they think he would say no? 

“Why wouldn’t I be comfortable? You have to do this pretty often, don’t you?” They asked teasingly. 

“I do,” he said with a smile. “but not everyone is so… accepting of my condition. Though I shouldn’t be surprised, you’ve never judged me for it before.” Hesitating, he said, “We should go somewhere private.” 

Vestige prayed they weren’t blushing as hard as it felt like they were. 

Fennorian had led them down a quiet little street and back toward the inn. When they arrived he had surprised Vestige and brought them back to his room. “Alright then. Where would you like me to drink from?” 

Vestige tilted their head. “Uh I don’t know, what’s considered normal in this situation?” 

A small smile flashed across his features. “Well,” Fennorian started taking their hand, “Some people prefer here…” his fingers grazed along the armor protecting the inside of their wrist. “Others here…” he nudged their armored calf with his foot, Vestige scrunched up their nose at that. Their reaction made him chuckle. “And some prefer… here.” His cold fingers skimmed against the skin of their throat. “It’s easier and a little quicker to take blood from the neck.”

Vestige’s heart jumped at the feather light touch. But Fennorian wasn’t done yet. 

He stepped closer, his eyes trained at that spot on their neck. Fennorian’s voice was amused as he whispered, “I suspect you’ll go with your neck though, am I right? Unless of course you want to take a bunch of your armor off and have to spend the time putting it back on again after.” 

Heat flooded the Vestige’s cheeks. The thought of taking off any article of clothing, or armor, so Fennorian could put his mouth near their skin seemed highly inappropriate in their head. they huffed and said, “I see your point. So how does this work?”

Fennorian stepped closer to them, practically framing their body with his. “The only downside to a neck bite is that some people lose their balance during the bite.” He winced at his own words. “I don’t want my fangs to scratch you if you do. Here, lean against the wall and grab me if you need to for support.” 

This was getting more and more intimate. 

Still it didn’t feel like a mistake.

“Okay.” 

“If you want me to stop just tell me or shove at my shoulders. Actually, have you fed a vampire before?” He asked curiously. 

Slowly Vestige shook their head. 

“I might go a little slower then. I don’t want you to feel dizzy.” 

Just this conversation was making them feel dizzy.

He learned in close, stopping just shy of touching their skin. “Ready?” 

“I think so.” 

Fennorian’s lips brushed against their throat. 

When his fangs sank into their neck, they gasped softly. Quickly their hands flew to his shoulders for stability. Fennorian, ever the gentleman, began to pull away. 

“I’m okay.” They whispered.

At their reassurance, Fennorian continued drinking their blood with a contented sigh. As he drank their blood they could have sworn it felt as though his skin was warming, particularly his lips.

The time ticked by slowly and eventually he pulled away entirely. Vestige blinked, trying to will away their mild embarrassment. 

The first thing he asked was “How are you feeling?” 

Eyes trained on his mouth, Vestige replied “I feel fine.” 

“Well then,” Fennorian cleared his throat and stepped away from in an attempt to give them space. They didn’t want space but the moment was over. “Thank you for allowing me to have some of your blood. You don’t know how much it means to me.” 

Vestige let a smile creep its way back onto their face. “Just as you���ve said that I can always count on you, you can always count on me, Fennorian.” They winked. 

Fennorian guided them to a wooden chair to sit. “Truly, I appreciate it.” He said holding eye contact with them for a long moment. Then he blinked. “I don’t have any food in here. Although, I saw a few places selling food on our way back. Let me get you something.” 

Attempting to wave the offer off Vestige said, “That's alright. You don’t need to worry about it.” 

He wagged his finger at them. “Ah, ah, ah! You’ve fed me now, allow me to find you something to eat. Besides… you want to keep your strength up don’t you?”

[bonefall]

Can I hear more about Villain Thornclaw? The way you described him is a really cool take on his character.

He exudes a sense of detached ruthlessness, something happened and he just never got over it, most of the time he is a model warrior, but sometimes he says something or gives a cold look, and that hints just how much he is willing to do for his beliefs

The first warrior that Firestar named becomes his most insidious enemy.

He was too young to clearly remember Clawface snatching him and his little sister, but he does remember the way it became an early fixation. His favorite games were always reenactments and play fights, and his father Lionheart and kidnapper Clawface would be characters in them. He often would go too far and play rough, actually biting or scratching his playmate.

We, in the real world, may recognize this as a way kids often process trauma. But they don't have cat therapy here.

And quickly these fixations became unsettling. Brightkit didn't like these games, and their older siblings were disturbed. Frostfur reacted strongly and tried to intervene, but it didn't help the way they wanted.

He got good at hiding it, and he got better at finding other ways to express his fixation. He never knew Lionheart, but he DID know Grandma Speckletail, and she would tell him all about the ways he could be like his dad. When you don't know a person, they can be anything you want them to be.

Turns out if you dress up "I'm obsessively xenophobic of foreign cats and want to rip them to shreds" as "I will ferociously avenge my father and uphold his legacy," suddenly you're golden! It's that simple!

(it's almost like clan culture didnt actually value peace or kindness and just encourages you to channel ur violence towards specific ends)

Thornkit went from Grandma Speckletail to Mentor Mousefur, and she continued to cultivate this. There's a time and a place for aggression. Be good to your clanmates. Use words in camp, not claws. She made a good soldier out of him.

When ThunderClan had a reckoning with Tigerclaw and his ideology in TPB, during his coup, the line of thought that went through Thornpaw and the cats like him was that Tigerclaw was the problem. Who could have known! A shock! Sickening!

...for a while they were "better," devastated by his betrayal, more openminded. But minds don't always trend towards progress.

Eventually, Thornclaw backslid. Let's not throw out the kitten with the tonguewash, here. Yes yes, Tigerclaw was a damn traitor and a hypocrite, but there's worse cats to look up to, you can't deny his nobility, that some of his ideas were great for ThunderClan, that there were lofty ideals he merely took from our grand and glorious history and we can return to those days...

What is so terrible about being a thistle? To lash back when you are attacked? To defend the meadow for you and yours?

We can have Tigerclaw's good aspects without the bad, surely?

And Firestar...

You must understand it's nothing personal. Firestar's a fine cat, for a kittypet. There is no hate for him. But we can't have a leader who stops ThunderClan from engaging in honorable combat. The Clan has become too mixed, and he punished him simply for expressing his concerns. What other choice is there? To do nothing as the clans are destroyed from the inside out?

Bluestar brought wildfire to the forest, to burn it to the ground. Firestar is Thornclaw's natural enemy-- and so is every cat like him.

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Kathryn Janeway

By Ames

Finally, we’ve made it to the Delta Quadrant in A Star to Steer Her By’s character spotlight series, as we turn our focus to the crew from Voyager. And who better to start us off than our intrepid Intrepid-class leader, Captain Kathryn Janeway? She stalwartly leads the crew through uncharted space, wheels and deals with new alien species, kicks countless asses, and drinks copious amounts of coffee. What’s not to like?

Well, some things, as you’ll see below in our patented list of all Janeway’s Best and Worst Moments throughout the series (and beyond!). What’s in the Delta Quadrant doesn’t actually stay in the Delta Quadrant, you see. So count the number of times Janeway self-destructs the ship as you read on below and listen to our countdown timer over on this week’s podcast episode (T-minus 57:33). There’s coffee in this blogpost!

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Ralkana? He said you’d been shot. One of the early gems of Voyager is “Resistance,” and Kate Mulgrew is on high display throughout. When she comes to understand Caylem’s tragic history, Janeway embraces his cause with compassion and empathy. And when the poor, senile man is dying and continues to mistake her for his daughter, Janeway lets him believe his delusions because they’re all he has.

Hello. I’m Captain Kathryn Janeway. Welcome to the Bridge. We joke a lot on A Star to Steer Her By that Janeway’s go-to tactic is self-destructing the ship. And she gets to actually carry that through for the first (but not last) time in “Deadlock,” taking out a whole bunch of Vidiians with her. Lucky for us, a spare Voyager crew (including a bonus Harry and Naomi) are saved as a result, since any other time it’s a trick you can only pull once.

There’s nothing to fear… except Kathryn Janeway Throughout the sensory-overload nightmare fuel that is “The Thaw,” Fear the Clown torments the people within his holo-environment until he crosses paths with Captain Janeway and she proves to be the most cold-blooded of them all. She cleverly tricks him into releasing the hostages before ripping the rug out from under him with the reveal that she isn’t really there.

You’re part of a family now, and you have obligations Watching the crew become more of a family as the seasons progress is a highlight of Voyager, and the way Janeway comes to trust Neelix is lovely to watch. In “Macrocosm,” she makes him an ambassador, and an episode later in “Fair Trade,” her “you’re part of our family” speech when Neelix admits to feeling like he no longer has a purpose on the ship proves how she values him.

Time’s up Not only is “Year of Hell” one of the best two-parters in all of Star Trek, but it also has yet another instance of Janeway destroying the ship! She takes it upon herself to save her crew from the Krenim and their very pretty, very powerful timeship by plowing what’s left of the Voyager directly into that sucker. And she even gets a great sendoff line to go with it!

For what it’s worth, you made a tempting offer If we’ve learned anything from the first several seasons, it’s don’t cross Janeway or she will double-, triple-, or quadruple-cross you right back. Evidently, no one clued in Kashyk in “Counterpoint” because he tries to use her to find a wormhole and nab some telepaths, but she’s been prepared for that the whole time. Pity, the two of them were almost cute together.

I’m a little busy right now, helping a friend It takes her quite a while (most of the series even), but Janeway slowly makes steps to accepting the EMH as people. By “Latent Image,” she’s agreed to let him process his trauma, even though it would be much easier to deal with if she just erased it (again) like the program he is. She even sits with him while he has existential crisis after existential crisis.

Her Royal Highness, Arachnia, Queen of the Spiderpeople! As far as comedy episodes go, “Bride of Chaotica!” is one of our favorites. You can tell everyone’s having so much fun, especially Kate Mulgrew as she throws herself fully into the over-the-top role of Queen Arachnia. Janeway pretending to be a B-movie villainess is just candy to watch, and she saves the invaders from the fifth dimension. All in a day’s work!

I make a better you than you Jake thinks he’s very funny in making me include this one on the Janeway list, but here we go. So Dala in “Live Fast and Prosper” isn’t really Janeway, but she does make cunning deals and schemes with the best of them. And hell, the bonafide Janeway delivers as well by foiling her counterpart’s dastardly plans and throwing her in the brig where she belongs.

I’ll start my own Federation, with blackjack and hookers When the Voyager is stuck in the titular void from “The Void,” everyone’s begging to resort to piracy – it just looks so fun! – but Janeway puts her foot down. Despite being so far from home, she has tried her darndest to unhold Starfleet ideals, and starting her own miniature Federation is her way of showing that people are better when they work together. Void friends forever!

Must’ve been something you assimilated While I could pick on Admiral Janeway for breaking the Temporal Prime Directive in “Endgame,” I’m just too impressed by how she so thoroughly owns the Borg Queen. She knows diplomacy won’t get her anywhere with the Borg, so she lets herself get assimilated to pass on a neurolytic pathogen that takes out the whole collective and saves Voyager!

Set your compass to Starfleet Finally, we’ve been pretty forthright about our love for Star Trek: Prodigy, and Admiral Janeway really gets some great moments to chew the CGI scenery. In the season one finale, “Supernova,” she stands up for the Protostar crew, especially sticking her neck out for Dal in a way that is so pure and supportive that you root for the whole group. We're so excited to watch season two when it’s up on Netflix!

—

Worst moments

And if you win you get this shiny banjo made of gold What the whole series boils down to is the long journey to get home from the Delta Quadrant… but it’s kinda Janway’s fault they’re stuck there in the first place due to her needlessly selfless actions in “Caretaker.” And then there are countless opportunities to get home after that that she squanders to uphold Starfleet rules. Who’s gonna know, Janeway?

The Trolley Problem solution for maximum murder Probably the most infamous action Janeway takes is the murder of Tuvix in the eponymous “Tuvix.” Sure, it’s to get two crewmembers back, and I’ve heard that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few, or the one, but it is straight-up cruel the way she forces Tuvix to medbay against his will, kicking and screaming the whole way that he wants to live.

I couldn’t help it, said the scorpion. It’s my nature. Boy, does Janeway know how to put her crew in needless danger by making snap decisions and then arguing about them a lot (a lot) with Chakotay. Her decision to team up with the Borg in “Scorpion” against the newly introduced Species 8472 is frankly insane. There’s no reasoning with Borg, lady. I’m with Chakotay on this one: you can only trust a scorpion to sting you.

You must comply In “Scorpion,” Janeway promises to return Seven to the collective when they finish the whole Species 8472 thing, but instead Janeway straight up kidnaps the poor drone and makes the decision to deprogram her in “The Gift” like the cult victim Seven is. It’s all entirely against Seven’s wishes and a little uncomfortable to watch because our new Borg has no agency yet.

Get down with your bad self Okay, Jake is being a pill again and insists we include Janeway’s fictional counterpart from “Living Witness” using biogenic weapons against the Kyrians. And yeah, it’s not actually Janeway – it’s a purely fabricated story the Kyrians concocted for their biased history program – but ya know what: I love how diabolical and ruthless this Janeway is so much that I’ll include it.

I’ll be benefiting from other people’s suffering Even more uncomfortable than watching Janeway force individuality on Seven is watching Janeway straight up ignore the DNR from Torres in “Nothing Human.” We sorta get that Seven can’t make her own decisions because she’s essentially a cult victim, but Torres is of sound mind when she refuses to accept surgery from Crell Moset and Janeway won’t hear it.

Sit in the corner and think about what you did We did a whole other blogpost about when it’s a good idea to break or uphold the Prime Directive after watching “Thirty Days.” Janeway refuses to let Tom save the Moneans and throws him in the brig for a month for trying to help them. It’s inconsistent to say the least when captains decide to hide behind the almighty Prime Directive, and Janeway is the biggest offender.

You’re malfunctioning, and you need to be repaired We praised Janeway a moment ago about how she respects the Doctor’s agency in “Latent Image,” but all through the series leading up to that, she struggles to think of him as a sapient person. It’s revealed in this episode that she’d ordered his memories of Jetal wiped as a way to deal with his trauma – something she’d surely never do to one of her solid crew members.

The Handbook on Personal Relationships is three centimeters thick Season 5 is well represented in this list, and you’d think that after that long, Janeway would have a modicum of respect for her forever ensign, Harry Kim. But in “The Disease,” she sets a double standard out of nowhere that crew members can’t bang aliens without permission. Hello? Janeway, everyone has already broken that, not just Harry, your special little boy.

Every captain gets a little torture as a treat! We get to watch Janeway go full Captain Ahab on the Equinox crew in “Equinox.” She hunts down Ransom like he’s her white whale. She tortures Lessing for information. And then she fires Chakotay for doing his job of being the most moral character in the room. It all feels out of character, but that’s kinda the point because this is what the Delta Quadrant pushes people to.

Delete the wife Speaking of seeming out of character. In “Fair Haven,” Janeway designs herself a holo-boyfriend and then falls head-over-heels in love with it. We fully support the captain going and getting holo-laid, especially since it’s unethical to bang her subordinates, but she should know better that this guy is just a sex toy and not a real person – she did program him that way!

Two Janeways are better than one There’s a whole new meaning to arguing with yourself in “Endgame.” Turns out, Admiral Janeway originally doesn’t want to wreck up the Borg as we gave her credit for above, but withholds her plan from her younger self and then tries to pull rank while everyone else is rallying to save millions by taking out the Borg. Ladies, can’t we just work together… to kill Borg!

—

And we’ve finally made it home to the Alpha Quadrant! That’s all from Janeway today, but we’ve got her whole crew to peruse through for the upcoming weeks, so make sure you’re venturing through Voyager with us here, follow along with our Enterprise watchthrough on SoundCloud or wherever you podcast, sip some coffee with us over on Facebook and Twitter, and lift your mugs to a toast: to the journey!

[the-trinket-witch]

Hihi!!! Tis the season to ask holiday themed asks!! Assuming the world of TWST celebrates winter holidays, do your OCs celebrate any holidays? If so, what are some things they like to do?

Thank you!

Hoi hoi!! For Reference, I'm going to be using 'Yuletide' as the TWST nomenclature for the Big Winter Holiday (with others being eclipsed by it mentioned)

He celebrates Yuletide like many other folks in Altus. He HAS though, been exposed to some mero winter traditions, both just by some of his primary/middle school classmates being merfolk. It's just little touches around his family traditions, like a shell garland or two around the tree, splurging a little on seafood for dinner... For more 'traditional' Altus Yuletide fare, there's the winter market, open well into the night to allow folks a chance to see the lights on folks' houses while they shop. Something his mum had told him about, but has yet to reach the age where he can partake, is wassailling. Caroling is fun and all, but progressively getting jolly red in the face while singing and seeing who else wants to join in the festivities sounds A LOT more fun. But It was during the winter break during his first year (RSA) that That happened. It was also during winter break he got to show the Octa-trio his hometown, and have to deal with all the goings-on in Scarabia...

Their life Pre-TWST was pretty normal for a Californian Christmas. Talk to them today, they still sometimes call Yuletide 'Christmas'. It didn't take much to incorporate the parts of both holidays that didn't match up 100%. Tidus was the greatest listener as to how both holidays differed, which also helped Yuu get a better understanding of the holiday anyway. Once they grow old enough to get booze for it, their ponche navideño is gonna be what a lot of people stop by their place to get a cup of.

Both being denizens of the Coral Sea, I wanna Headcanon that their winters are a bit more like Ye Olden Days. By which I mean: It's too cold to go out anywhere, so we hunker down with our supplies and entertain ourselves in the dark. Ghost stories, party games and crafting 'to drive the cold winter away'.

I don't so much have any HCs for what STYX Yuletide is like, if its even celebrated at all. Being born/raised, in essence, in a company town kind of isolates you from learning much outside of it, so if anybody has a neat idea for traditions, he's willing to listen and give it a shot.

Being in a dryer, more arid plot of the Queendom, his Yuletides are a bit...sephia toned. Lights got draped around the house, family came over, goodies got baked and distributed among the neighbors, and town winter markets doubled as swap meets and craft fairs.

Surprisingly? For being a Yuletide Baby (Birthday Dec 24...SHIT I GOTTA MAKE A BIRTHDAY CARD FOR HIM), His folks try to make distinction that his birthday is to not be overshadowed by another holiday. Ya can't help when you're born. Some of the rest of the fam aren't as gracious, but he's got enough lovin' by his parents that makes up for it.

His home's heat is on FULL blast, humidifier going, everything every scaly bastard Reptile needs. He doesn't open the door for many, not carolers, donation canvasing, etc; it lets the cold in. His ears are quick to perk if he hears Mr Khan taking off to a warmer vacation destination.

This man's gotta travel a lot for business, so it means all the more to him when he takes the time to make his own decisions on the destination. Sometimes he'll book in some tropical locale, if only to drag Aadesh along for some subordinate ribbing. (He's made Aadesh try Snake Wine while out East, not so much 'made' as 'insisted'.)

It's business as usual for The Janitor. Once the kids take off for the break, they have the chance to do some deeper cleaning that their schedule wouldn't otherwise permit.

TAGLIST:

@ceruleancattail @squidwen @thecosmicjackalope @vaporvipermedia @writing-heiress

@oya-oya-okay @k-looking-glass-house @thehollowwriter @rainesol @cyn-write

@heartscrypt @br3adtoasty @jackiecronefield @ruggiethethuggie

@hoboyherewego @achy-boo @oreoskys @oseathepebble @oathofoaks

@tunabesimpin @hamstergal @fumikomiyasaki @valse-a-mille-temps

@hallowed-delights @kimikitti @cyanide-latte @thetwstwildcard @atwstedstory

@comingyourlugubriousness @ice-cweam-sod4 @twst-the-night-away @nammanarin @scint1llat3

@tixdixl @prince-kallisto @candiedchiliarch

[elderberries-and-honey]

𝘢 𝘴𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘭𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘴 𝘧𝘳𝘰𝘮 𝘭𝘢𝘸𝘳𝘦𝘯𝘤𝘦 𝘣𝘢𝘶𝘥𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘦 𝘢𝘥𝘥𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘨𝘳𝘦𝘵 "𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘮𝘦𝘦" 𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘤𝘩 𝘪𝘯 𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘦𝘯𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘸𝘯, 𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘭𝘢𝘯𝘥

Dear Marmee,

The bitter cold crept in slowly at first but there is no denying winter has arrived here in Wales. Everything is now covered in a sheet of white snow.

Every morning, I wake before the rooster's crow. Our friend Beth has moved in with us and she enjoys knitting very much. She has knitted me two new sweaters before Christmas has even come and they keep me much warmer than my worn-out coat from last Winter. It's a good thing too 'cause there's still much to be done on our farm, though I've made a rather decent amount of progress.

Even so, we hardly had any remaining produce leftover for ourselves after selling what I was able to salvage from our terrible blight. I won't burden you too much with our troubles but things have been rough here for us and I know Winifred is silently troubling herself over it.

You mentioned Jo is trying to get published? Please let me know how that goes for her. I think it might just inspire Winifred who is still glued to her typewriter whenever she has the time to write.

Hope to hear from you soon.

Sincerely, Lawrence

Dear Marmee,

I'm sorry to hear Jo was turned down in her quest to get published. Hopefully it won't discourage her from trying. Have you heard from Amy in Paris? How are Meg and Mr. Brooks? How does Beth like teaching piano?

Many of our animals, including the thorn in my side, Frank the Goose, passed on near the end of November. Without their eggs and milk to sell, money is tighter than ever.

Winifred has begun fretting over how we will make a good Christmas for Ozzy. So I've started working at the pub again to help us make it through the rest of winter and afford a few gifts for him. I'm struggling to come up with an idea on what to get Winifred, after all, how could I top her typewriter? If you have any ideas, please include them in your next letter.

Ozzy is doing quite well, thank you for asking. He likes to "help" me on the farm but mostly he enjoys playing in the snow with the garden shovels and trying to escape to our small pond. You would not believe the tantrums he throws when I have to wrangle him away from the edge. I can almost understand how my Father felt when I was a boy and he would paddle my bottom. The boy is like a fish the way he enjoys the water! Even bathtime seems to be his favorite part about bedtime.

It was a struggle to get him out of his crib and into a real bed but we needed to complete the transition before our new little one arrives. With Beth here to teach us patience, I can proudly declare we have finally succeeded.

Sincerely, Lawrence

Dear Marmee,

We're approaching our due date rather quickly, a little under 3 months now. Millie has been staying with Louise for the Winter (and giving her free cooking lessons) after agreeing to stay and help Winifred deliver the baby, which I'm thankful for. I know this is a huge relief for Winifred. Her last delivery was not without complications and I know she grows uneasy the closer we get.

I know Winifred believes the baby will be a girl but I have my own suspicions we will welcome another son. I'm not wholly certain I could handle another little girl after we lost Flora. Not yet, rather. The pain of losing a child never truly leaves, does it?

I did not mean to ignore your inquiry over how I'm fairing. I must keep a courageous face for my family, and consequently I've grown used to wearing my mask of gallantry. Since you so kindly asked though, I will admit that I am a little worn down as of late.

I spend long hours tending the farm and go to work even longer hours in the pub. Valerie, good hearted as she is, is not the best co-worker, often drinking herself stupid before the nights out. I suppose it's true what they say about you Irish folk.

Most of my trouble comes from myself, I suppose. I watched my father save this very farm many times over and I should want to do the same. But with every plant that refused to sprout, I found myself resentful over having ever inherited it.

I think of my wife, the writer, the poet, and how she is able to read Ozzy her stories. I think of Jackson with his pub, and his son, Patrick, who's becoming a doctor, and you with your bookshop. Even my father who provided my mother and I with food, and a roof over our heads because he cared for the farm so tenderly. All of you, with such passion.

Even if I was as passionate as my father, the farming industry is changing. All these extravagant advancements are putting farmers out of work all over. If the farm were to go under, what would I do? It's all I've ever known.

If I don't have time to write before Christmas Day - I hope you have a Merry Christmas. Send my love to your girls and wish them the same for me as well.

Sincerely, Lawrence

P.S. Don't be cross with me for the joke, I only say it in jest. The Irish could drink me under the table any day of the week and sing a merry tune whilst doing so which is rather remarkable.

next / previous / first

[nepheia]

02 ∙ the self is not me, but us

[ ✼ part 2 of the self is not me, but us series ]

okay that first part was a long-winded lead-up, but now we're at the main event: how the multiplicity of the self is the star of the entire 我们 album, but especially the mv. there are probably a hundred different ways you could interpret that gorgeous 6-minute film.

you could say it's a re-enactment of what xz experienced in 2020; that 'we' the fandom may be a collective but not a monolith, that the 'us' is complicated between star and supporter. 

you could say it's a cynical look at the psyche; that we need to shut down the din of emotions, because only in their absence, only when numb, can you truly face the hard truths.

you could say it was just his cheeky way of making his "charming and adorable villain" dreams come true!! and that 'we' are two halves of the same coin, a classic split personality antihero where one cannot have come to fruition without the other.

or...

❝ only after walking the boundless wilderness can you see us ❞

i like to think that the mv — just like xz — dismantles the notion that the 'real' self or the 'honest' self must be a clean-cut, singular thing. the most real self can be (and usually is!) what xz calls a boundless wilderness, an 'us': many disparate, messy, often contradictory parts. we also see mentions of this in restoration and glimmering:

❝ the most prideful, the most incorrigible and precious me ❞ ❝ the dull and crestfallen, diminutive me ❞

❝ the prideful, the unknowing, the helpless all of this proving that all are me ❞

these parts all co-exist in this networked hive that we call the spectrum of emotions, irreparably connected, because only through one emotion can we understand another. joy exists because sadness exists. sadness, all gentle tears and despondent eyes, teaches us that anger is different in its bitter brashness, that solitude is different in its cold loneliness, that despair is different in its bottomless depth of malice and loss.

to do away with any of them is to reduce ourselves to the black-and-white that does no justice to how complex human conflicts are. was hope vs. despair simply light against darkness? did despair 'win' just because he made it out?

no, because hope and despair don't exist in vacuums. the lyrics tell you as much — that nothing exists in a vacuum. if some emotions, some concepts, didn't exist, the way we understand life itself is likely to change:

❝ in a world without falsehoods will we be able to sleep more soundly? ❞

❝ in a world without objective truth will we be able to live more simply? ❞

if you take this lens and plaster it onto the mv, then hope and despair are helplessly intertwined, almost in a cyclical relationship. hope "birthed" despair, giving him true form the moment he was freed from that box. despair supplanted hope, taking his place out in the open world, so "hope" can also sometimes be born from despair.

⎯⎯ ୨୧ ⎯⎯

NOW. IF YOU'LL INDULGE ME.

🎪 bonus round – peak nonsense tinfoil hat theory: for those familiar with vocaloid, see: kagerou days

❝ perhaps we all became accustomed a long time ago but no one discerned it the most defeated samaritan devolved into a savage perhaps the progress of civilisation has to be cruel in order to be more hurtful than you we can only reclaim our natural state ❞

because this is a cyclical relationship, what if this is all a loop? where hope and despair know (they became accustomed a long time ago) but no one else does?

hope (the most defeated samaritan, by force) is fading away, left to die in despair's chamber. the seed of hope he planted and then subsequently picked up in the desert will sprout into a new being in this confined space, taking despair's place (devolved into a savage). 

despair (the most defeated samaritan, by choice) has taken hope's place in the outside world (devolved into a savage i.e. reduced to the 'other', no longer connected to the "civilisation" of the mind). he picks up the seed, returns to the hive mind, tries to free the newly-born despair — who he knows better than anyone else, maybe this time they can do it right, maybe this time they will break free of this cursed loop — and gets a shard of glass through the gut for it.

and the cycle repeats. despair supplanting hope, hope becoming despair, each trying to reclaim what they once were.

if despair hopes to escape, if hope despairs what he got in return for his kindness, then can we still say that the two emotions are entirely separate things?

XIAO ZHAN PLEASE JUST ONE LOOK INTO UR GALAXY BRAIN I NEED CLOSURE 🛐

⋆

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