#but we dont need that brand of crazy

[mistressemmedi]

i seriously can't wrap my head around. you would mass report the most vile accounts on instagram and the most that they would do after 6 months of reporting would be saying "we didn't find anything wrong with the account 'killallthewomen' uwu 🥰". there are "fans" out there who mass reported a 19 year olds account and somehow made her deactiva like wtf

[jentlemahae]

i hate kpop documentaries …….

[cocolacola]

it's 3 am and i am deeply invested in the fanon i have created for myself with my various evil british people shows

[sungstars]

slut me out | njm x fem!reader

i.e you needed to give your situationship the time of his life after seeing his instagram story.

word count: 2.8k (not proof read)

content warning: situationship, open ending, smut lol, oral (m. rec.), fingering (f. rec.), explicit sex, unprotected sex(no!), creampie, lmk if i missed anything thanks!

author's note: two fics in one day! can we believe this LOL. would you guys be surprised if i said that i have a mark one that i'm hoping to finish and it'll be queued up for tomorrow morning/afternoon. i hope you all enjoy this fic and as always, dedicated to my crazy and delusional bffs. likes & reblogs are appreciated as always. requests are open till october 5th! i'm still working on my jay fic, and hoping to have that out by tuesday!!

“you’re fucking crazy,” you said once the phone picked up after the first ring, “you can delete that story, i saw it.”

jaemin let out a hearty laugh, “hmm? but jisungie looks so cute, what if one of my followers wants me to put them on with him?”

you jeer, fingering hovering over the red button on the screen, “you definitely could’ve posted him without making sure your shirt is unbuttoned and they can see the chain that i bought you peeking through. what if they’re crazy like me?”

“don’t worry, nobody has you beat in that department.” jaemin added quickly, “you can come over if you want.”

did you want to? absolutely. you needed to rock his world so hard that it was likely to be rated a category 9.5 earthquake.

“you can come to me,” you quipped back, “and hurry up, i dont have a lot of patience. don’t change either.”

“you’re so demanding,” jaemin whined, a glint of playfulness evident in his voice, “i have to stop at my other hoe’s house first, but i’ll be there.”

“not even funny.” you hung up the phone, rolling your eyes.

focusing back on your room, you jumped up in a panic. you needed to change and also pick up the clothes you had thrown all over the place.

realistically, you didn’t know if jaemin was kidding about seeing somebody else first, but if he wasn’t, you had about twenty minutes including traffic before he got to your place.

you shoved all the loose piece of clothing into whatever drawer or laundry basket they would fit into. doing a once over your room, you were satisfied with what you were able to do.

looking at your floor length mirror, you didn’t care too much about what you had on. a big t-shirt with snoopy playing baseball on the front.

easy access for jaemin, but you should probably change your dingy halloween panties from victoria secret into something cute.

perhaps pink? that seemed on brand for tonight’s theme.

you were digging through your underwear drawer looking for that lacey pink thong you got from the mall a few weeks ago when you heard a knock on your door.

“fuck,” you said, slamming the drawer shut to no avail and rubbing your hands down your hair to smooth out any frizz, “fuck.”

the knocking got louder, causing you to practically trip on air as you ran to grab the door.

“took your sweet time letting me in,” jaemin pouted. leaning against the doorframe when you opened it, “that mad at me?”

rolling your eyes, you pulled him in by his silky pajama shirt and closing the door behind him, “guess she wasn’t that good if you got here within the same hour of calling.”

jaemin smiled, dropping down onto your couch and sliding his shoes off, “i’d say she was pretty damn good if i got done quickly and i’m not here.”

you crossed your arms, scoffing at his comment and began to walk to your bedroom.

“you’re such a dick.”

“i heard that,” he said, jumping off the couch to chase behind you, “i'm just kidding y/n, you know it's just you."

"are you sure? cause you keep making comments about other girls, are you trynna compensate? i don't care if you see other people."

jaemin laughed at you for the nth time this evening, making you want to just slam your bedroom door in his face and lock him out, but unfortunately for you, seeing jaemin in those pink pajamas and gold chain sent you into borderline ovulation.

you grabbed jaemin by the arm, leading him to sit on your bed and standing between his legs.

"it's just you," jaemin reassured, a hand coming up to rub your hip gently, "just like driving you crazy 'cause i know you're really fucking insane."

jaemin got a whiff of your secret cloud perfume as you leaned down and kissed his neck gently.

"i'm going to turn you every way but loose tonight," you whispered into his ear, teeth grazing the shell of his ear, "and i'm gonna show you how insane i am over you."

a shiver went down jaemin's back as you kissed down his neck and to his adam's apple, making sure to suck dark marks into his skin before placing your lips on his.

his arms wrapped your waist, pulling you down into his lap as he deepened the kiss. your hands found their way entangled into his brunette locks, moaning as he slipped his tongue into your mouth.

the two of you fought for dominance over the kiss, though jaemin just wanted to put up a good fight before letting you win.

you then slipped your tongue into his mouth, removing your hands from his hair and moving them down to his shoulders.

you gently pushed him back and onto the mattress, letting your fingers skillfully undo his pajama shirt, enjoying the smooth silk under your fingertips before pulling the shirt open.

jaemin pressed his hips up, hoping to get a small bit of friction on his growing erection and moaning when you rut your own hips down.

pulling away from the kiss, your chest heaved as you did a lookover his body. his plush lips swollen and glossy with spit, dark splots decorating his skin from earlier, his own defined chest moving rapidly as he tried to catch his own breath.

"you look so pretty under me, jaem," you complimented, your fingers dancing across his exposed collarbones and down his gold chain, "a sight only i should be allowed to see."

jaemin exhaled heavily through his nose, "a sight only for you. . please, don't stop. i want you. . i need you so badly, y/n."

how could you deny such a request from a pretty boy completely at your disposal? you weren't a cruel or dumb woman, so of course you'll comply.

you leaned down to attach your lips to his collarbone, biting and sucking gently as you made your way down his chest.

moving the pink fabric away, you let your tongue teasingly flick at his nipple to elicit a whiny moan from his mouth before taking his nipple between your lips.

"fuck y/n," he groaned, "that feels so good."

smirking to yourself, you pull off and stand up. the boy's eyes widened, trying to hold back another whine because why did you pull off? and why are you standing?

"c'mon," jaemin said, voice cracking slightly, "don't be a tease."

"a tease?" you titled your head as he sat up on his elbows, "if you beg, i'll consider."

a bright red hue cascaded over jaemin's face at your request, but he couldn't get any more pathetic than he already looked.

"y/n," he pleaded, "please do something. i am so undeniably hard, and if i don't feel those pretty lips or pretty hands wrapped around my dick that i know you love, i will implode and you'll be out of a bomb dick appointment and home."

a laugh escaped, jaemin really knew what to say to make you give into him. it's why you liked him honestly. he was funny and charming, and did in fact have a great dick that drove you insane. you used to be normal before he stuck his dick in you.

jaemin reached forward, grabbing your hand and placing it over his boner. that action alone could've made you cum in your panties because pathetic jaemin was probably your favorite jaemin.

you instinctively wrapped your fingers around it the best you could while it was restrained in those silky pants, slowly jerking him off and watching a bead of precum stain the fabric.

"see how hard i am?" he asked, breathily, "all for you. all because of you."

stroking your ego was one of the many things jaemin was good at, so you decided to play nicely and give him something to relief this tension you could feel growing in his body.

"take 'em off," you said, releasing his cock from your grip, moving back to give him room, "show me that pretty dick, jaem."

if you weren't standing in front of him, you were sure he would've fell face forward onto your carpet from how fast he was trying to get his pants down and off his hips.

once they were at his thighs, you leaned forward and placed a chaste kiss on his lips before sinking down to your knees.

you were face to face with jaemin's cock, the tip an angry shade of red and precum still leaking from his slit.

spit began to pool inside your mouth the longer you looked at it, and you stuck your tongue out to swipe the precum dribbling from his cock.

jaemin moaned out, hands gripping the sheets beneath him, “stop. . put it in your mouth.”

you furrowed your eyebrows and looked up, “don’t make demands.”

the brunette’s jaw ticked, one hand coming up to your hair and the other grabbing the base of his dick.

he pushed your head back roughly, tapping the head of his cock on your lips and smearing more precum across, “don’t be a fucking tease.”

your eyes widened in surprise at the switch in jaemin's demeanor, but instead of giving him a hard time, you complied by opening your mouth for him.

without hesitation, jaemin shoved his cock into your mouth until it hit the back of your throat which caused you to gag and tears well up in your eyes.

"don't get sensitive now," he mumbled, swiping the tears from your face, "now be good and suck. show me why you're my favorite."

his favorite? you should been his fuckin' only like he said you were earlier. what is up with the inconsistency? he's gonna piss you off.

you used your tongue to lick the under part of his cock, pulling off to leave just the tip in your mouth.

jaemin's grip on your hair tightened, trying his best to let you have control, but wanting nothing more than to just fuck your throat until you're sobbing.

you pulled completely off his cock, bringing your hand to jerk him off while you used your tongue to lick a stripe on his balls and gently suck.

the brunette's eyes rolled back, a string of moans and high pitched whines leaving his throat as you continued to toy with his balls.

whenever your hand reached the tip, you would squeeze every so slightly, causing him to fuck into your hand.

jaemin was close, and you could tell by the way he was whimpering and trying to chase your hand.

you looked up at him, smiling to yourself before pulling off his dick completely, basking in his borderline sob at the loss of contact.

"why did you stop?" tears welled up in his eyes, feeling like he would explode, "you're so fuckin' mean."

cooing, you wiped tears away from his eyes like he did earlier, "cause i knew you were close, jaem."

he sniffled, grabbing you and pinning you down onto the bed in one swift motion.

sometimes, you forget how strong he can be, causing you to get even more wet if that was possible. your panties were sticking almost uncomfortably to your cunt, and you were hoping he would do something to relief that soon.

too lost in your own thoughts of pleasure, you didn't even realize jaemin was pulling your t-shirt up until the cool air hit your nipples.

he used his lithe digits to roll your perked nipples around, causing you to squeal at the contact.

"love the panties," jaemin teased, using one of his hands to snap the waistband against your skin, "so cute and so soaked. god, you really get off from anything as long as it's me, huh?"

"you fuckin' wish," you tried to bite, but it came out as a whimper when he pressed his hand against your core, allowing for some friction of pleasure.

"shhh," he said, "can't even muster an ounce of niceness when i'm about to fuck you?"

jaemin flicked your nipples, smirking at your almost pained moan before moving down to take your underwear off, eyes watching how they were sticking to your sopping cunt, "so wet for me, hm?"

you nodded your head in compliance this time, "all for you."

he swiped a finger up your slit, bringing it to his mouth and licking it clean, "taste so sweet, but act so so mean towards nana, wonder why that is?"

you huffed, hooking a heel behind his thigh and pulling him close so his cock would make some contact with your cunt, a noise escaping your throat when the tip came into rough contact with your clit.

"that needy? what was it you said earlier? beg. beg for it, dumb whore."

degrading was something you and jaemin never tried, but with how effortlessly it slipped out of his mouth, you wish he would've done it sooner.

"jaem," you grinded against his cock, "please fuck me, y'know you want to. please, i need it so badly."

jaemin just looked at you unimpressed, dragging his cock up and down your cunt, looking at how you falter when his tip catches your sensitive bundle of nerves, "beg more."

you wanted to burst into tears, he knows how much you want him, he can feel how wet you are and probably at more slickness slipping out as he teased you, "nana, please put it in. i'll stop being mean, promise. i need your cock--i need you. please fuck me."

his left hand came up to smooth your hair out, smiling all his pearls at you as he slowly pushed the fat tip of his cock into you, finally.

jaemin slowly pushed himself into your cunt, moaning at how easily you took his cock, letting his hand fall from your hair and place pressure on your clit.

"it's like you were made for me, fuck" he gritted his teeth, thrusting shallowly into you, "taking me so well every time, your cunt just fuckin' sucks me in.. ha."

all you could do was moan in response, eyes rolling back when jaemin's gold chain smacked you in the nose, "fuck, too good."

jaemin rubbed your clit roughly as he picked his pace up, hips snapping against yours as your arousal ran down your thighs and his balls, creating a wet sound between the two of you.

you clenched around jaemin's cock, letting out high pitched noises of pleasure as he fucked you harshly, the knot in your stomach tightening and traveling down your pelvis.

"fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" you cried, placing your hand on his lower abdomen and trying to push him away, but he quickly snatched it and held it above your head, "jaem, fuck, please, it's too much."

jaemin ignored your pleas, "y'know you can take it, stop trying to run from it."

when jaemin snapped his hips harshly once more, you felt that knot in your stomach break and ecstasy overtake your senses.

you couldn't even muster the feeling of embarassment from how good you felt when liquid practically sprayed your thighs and jaemin's abdomen.

the boy tapped the head of his cock on your clit, groaning loudly as you continued to squirt before roughly showing himself back into you.

"jaemin," you squealed, back arching up, "i can't! i can't."

"you can," he said, fucking you harshly, feeling himself getting closer and closer, "and you will take this dick. you wanna whine about other people havin' it so bad, take it, slut."

with jaemin fucking you so soon after an intense orgasm, all you could do was sob and mumble his name. it wasn't going to take you long to cum again, and jaemin could tell about how you were clenching on his dick.

your fingers dug into his shoulders, creating red crescents as his chain smacked you over and over again, his orgasm approaching any second.

"i'm so close, angel." he whined, his thrusts starting to stutter and slow down, "fuck, can i come inside please?"

"o-of course," you nodded your head, your own orgasm approaching once more, "please cum in me."

one more snap of jaemin's hips and he let out a loud moan, stilling himself as white hot ropes of his cum began to fill you and create a creamy ring around his cock, "fuck, you were too good."

he began to thrust slowly to ride out your orgasms, kissing your forehead and whispering sweet praises into your ear.

once you pushed his chest away to let him know he was overstimulating you, he pulled out completely and laid next to you, chest heaving rapidly.

"y/n." he turned on his side, "i really do like you."

you smiled, grabbing his hand and intertwining your fingers, "i really like you too jaemin."

he pressed a gentle kiss to your cheek and pulled you closer to him, "it's always been just you."

end!

[doromoni]

Not Over the Papaya | OP81

⊹ ｡•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader

Genre : Fluff Smau

A/N : I’m back!! am i still sick? yeah a lil~ But I can finally look at my phone 🥹. Thank yall for waiting and supporting NOTP series 🧡.

Face claim : Jennie Kim

Warnings : Cursing, Grammatical Errors

Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

< Previous | Part 7 | Next >

“I have nothing to say to you”

“Ok, then let me do the talking. Y/N I’m really sorry”

“Lando, you apologizing wont make what you did go away! Can’t you just leave me alone??”

“I will, I promise… i just want to end everything correctly… please let me. Y/N please”

“i’m already happy Lando.”

“I know that Y/N and I’m happy for you! I don’t want everything to be awkward with Oscar when we do see each other.”

“For Oscar…”

Y/N. 3m

story replies

oscarpiastri am i crazy or is the coffee we make in your flat better than this??

Y/N. No lie youre so right, this coffee lowkey is not it.

oscarpiastri I thought I was tweakin. Where are you btw?? I left for the bathroom for 3 mins and ur gone??

Y/N. uhh… im looking for popcorn :DD

oscarpiastri How aren’t you getting a stomachache with the things you eat baffles me .

Y/N. Ion know myself dude 🤷🏼‍♀️ I’m amazing like that

oscarpiastri well no need to look, they have it at the plane. I asked John if the plane stocked popcorn and yes they do

Y/N. Really? You’re literally the bestttt 🥺🫶

Y/bf Y/N L/N when I found out that you’ve died from caffein overdose I wont even be surprised 😀

Y/N. I just wont die, simple as that my dearest best friend.

Y/bf just have fun and give em hell 🤭 . Oh! my chocolates dont forget!! Safe travel luv 🫶

Y/N. Oh they wouldn’t know what hit em. I will bring chaos . I wont forget your chocolates y/bf!!. And thank youu

maxverstappen1 Y/NNnnnnnnnnn I’m sorry 😩

Y/N. Sorry? and you are?

maxverstappen1 I changed my password already! Plsss do not be mad >:((

logansargeant Y/N are you going to the raceeeee???!!

Y/N. well yes I am American Boi

logansargeant why am i always the last to know?!!

Y/N. Sorry (Lmao I’m not)

logansargeant Ur so mean to me >:((

oscarpiastri

story replies

Y/N. 🧡🧡🧡

oscarpiastri food was 🔥 music was 🔥 the pretty girl held my hand also 🔥.

Y/N. Is it safe to assume you liked everything then…. 🫣

oscarpiastri YES i did! I’d wife you up if you’d let me.

Y/N. I haven’t met your family yet SIR. 🤨

oscarpiastri That wasn’t a no. If the last song in your album wasnt a proposal…. 🤭

Y/N. OK! you win. Be grateful I love you. Now stop looking at ut phone you need to focus on your debriefing! I could ser John glaring at you rn!!

charles_leclerc is that Y/N’s Unreleased album????!!!

oscarpiastri why yes father, it is 😌.

charles_leclerc and you and Y/N are not letting me listen?? HOW DARE YOU TWO 😭

oscarpiastri Sorryyy . I get first listens ~ you wait for the release of Heartbreak club like the otherss😛

charles_leclerc even Alex is freaking out!!! comeonnn Son. Just 1 song plsss.

oscarpiastri ask Y/N 🙂‍↕️ She’s the genius behind this masterpiece (that i get to listen to whenever i want 😛😛😛)

charles_leclerc I will revoke your adoption! Oscar Jack Piastri-Leclerc.

logansargeant Heartbreak Club??? Isnt that the name of you and Y/N’s club for people who got cheated on

oscarpiastri the very same HAHAHAHAHA

logansargeant so its about Lando cheating???

oscarpiastri Yes and No… and I’m not allowed to elaborate further!

logansargeant Boi without me there wouldnt even be a club with you and Y/N~ mate yall owe me 🥰😀

f1wags

liked by user1 , user2, and others

f1wags Oscar and Y/N are already in Belgium🫶 .

user1 Oop, is Y/N going to attend the race 🫣

user2 Ohhhh I really hope so! Plss plss

user3 I really miss Y/N in the paddock. Miss ma’am pls mark your territory! Ion like that other girl there 🤡 Ur tainting the McLaren brand pls exit the premises.

user2 The height difference is so 🥰🫶🧡

user3 I offer myself as their child or their pet I dont care. Pls just have me

user4 Their future child would be troy bolton i swear. To sing or to do sports 😩

user5 HAHAHAHAHAHHA I could so imagine it.

user6 BET ON IT!

user7 I SAW THEMMM 😭 they were do cute I can’t!! Y/N was so busy yapping and Oscar was just smiling at her and nodding. Boi is just happy to be there, Oscar same.

user8 I still cant believe that Osc knows the tracks inside Y/N’s album

oscarpiastri

liked by Y/N., mclaren, charles_leclerc , carlossainz55, and other

oscarpiastri Touch down and Landed 🛩️ Excited to get behind the wheel!

charles_leclerc what is with you and spa (wdym landed?? you’re literally here since Tuesday??)

alexandrasaintmleux let him have his fun, babe.

Y/N. Yeah! have your own timeline Lechuck

oscarpiastri listen to the ladies, Mate. It’ll do you good.

charles_leclerc I love my life and the people in it 😀

mclaren Locked and Ready 💪 Let’s go for Podium!!

user1 LETS GO OSC!!

user2 continue the podium streak champ!!

user3 Oscar future WDC , i’m calling it

user4 Oscar looks extra pookie todayyy 🥰

user5. Ah Y/N effect 🙂‍↕️~ I see your man girl!

user6 Y/N’s influence on Osc is really showing fr. Ma’am ur doing amazing work!

Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @tellybearryyyy @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed

Maintaglist : @myescapefromthislife @peterholland04 @charlottef1 @fangirl125reader @mel164 @gnarlycore @chloelovesln4 @vickykazuya @merchelsea @ln4author @qzmef @nxk1309 @styl1shl1v @lottalove4evelyn @gr3yhues : closed for now

[motthe]

Married+jayce viktor, visit relatives +she/her reader? Continuation please!! I gotta know more

i hope you enjoy the continuation!!!

warnings: more crazy family shenanigans

Dirty Santa had the family in an uproar when cousin Pat drew number one for the second year in a row. Seeing as your grandmother had made the pieces and walked around with the bowl, no one had any real proof Pat had cheated.

You were happy with your number. It wasn’t dead last like you’d hoped but close enough to see more gifts and get your pick of the litter.

Jayce was scrambling to understand the rules again with Viktor’s help, but even then you’d had to correct him on a few rules.

“Okay,” Jayce muttered, thick brows set in a determined line, “stolen twice and it’s frozen, no stealing back, number one gets to go again at the end and you’re stuck with whatever they trade you.”

“Perfect,” you said. “The rules change from family to family but that’s ours.”

Your more rowdy aunt who was a bit too serious when it came to any type of games shouted for Pat to get a move on. You sat back with your husbands, head cushioned by Jayce’s arm and one of Viktor’s hands in yours. You don’t know where your energy went after dinner, but you could fall asleep to your insane family after years of these events. Although loud and encompassing, it was home, and you were happy your loves were sharing in the madness.

“Who’s five?”

“That would be me,” sighed Viktor as he leaned forward. No one had a chance to offer him assistance as he snatched his cane and use the handle to snag a bag. Everyone whooped as it slid down the length and into his lap.

“Show off!” someone called.

Viktor merely smiled to himself, passing you tissue paper as he revealed a pack of pens, a book of crossword puzzles, and a few of those brain teasers you’d see in bookstores made of wooden figures or metal rings.

“That’s right on the nose for you,” you said, tossing the trash to your father who had the black bag by his chair.

“Yes, I’m quite happy with these,” he hummed, flipping through the crossword puzzles.

“I’m glad someone got them who will actually do them,” your mother sighed, clocking herself as the buyer. “They’re good for your brain!”

After a few more turns, Jayce browsed the lingering gifts on the table in the midst of everyone before eyeing the tool set in Uncle Jimmy’s arms.

“Now, son,” your family member began, mean mugging, “think about that decision.”

Jayce hummed, tapping his chin and staring at ceiling. He was so dramatic. God, you loved him.

Finally, he sighed and shook his head. “I’m thinking I need a new tool set.”

“Ooh, that’s cold,” Great Aunt Lynda cackled, sipping her wine. You could’ve sworn she mentioned a dry December when you all were fixing your plates. Apparently she’d had an incident at Thanksgiving, but you hadn’t been here. You all had gone to Jayce’s mother’s.

Now or made sense why your mother had made it clear that no was to bring beer into this house on the holidays—only wine.

Viktor was sipping some of his own as your number was called. Pulling yourself from his side, you looked over each gift that had already been opened. None of them appealed to you, so you went for the smallest gift bag.

Your husbands leaned in as you pulled out what was clearly a gift card, opening the little flap to see where you’d be buying from.

“How much we talking?” Aunt Pat asked.

“If it’s for fast food I’m taking it,” one of your younger cousins declared.

Viktor choked on a sip while Jayce shrugged, clearly confused as he read the brand. “I don’t dont know this store. Is it local?”

“Oh, it’s local all right,” Great Aunt Lynda said. Everyone snapped their heads to her when she spoke.

“It’s not fast food,” you announced, shoving the card back into the bag. “It’s for medicinal purposes, kiddos.”

“Ew! Medicine?” one of the twins whined, sticking out a tongue. “Who’d want that?”

“Ooh,” Jayce said, tapping away on his phone. “That makes a lot more sense.”

“Lynda there are kids playing!” Dad barked.

She waved a hand, draining her wine glass. “It’s a gift card. Be glad I didn’t bring a D-I-L-D-O—they were two for one!”

“A dodo?” one of the kids questioned.

Jayce lost it. You just shoved the gift bag behind your back and told them to move the game along.

In the end, you and your husbands got to keep your gifts. Aunt Lynda was all too happy to waddle over and talk about the best things to buy before you excused yourself for a bathroom break. Viktor was safe chatting away with Jimmy while Jayce was heading for another snack in the kitchen.

You had all of three, peaceful minutes in the bathroom before your phone lit up.

Groupchat: Jayce 💍 Viktor

Jayce: someone save me Lynda’s blocking the kitchen exit and there’s a mistletoe hanging above her!!

Viktor: That sounds like a trap.

Jayce: no shit!

Viktor: I meant for me. If I come to the rescue, I’m sacrificing my lips for yours.

Jayce: So you’re just going to leave me here?

Viktor thumbed up the question, hearing your laughter from down the hall.

You: Hold on my damsel in distress. I’m on the way.

Jayce: I’m glad to see SOMEONE loves me in this marriage

Washing your hands, you pocketed your phone and readied yourself for the last bit of the party which always ended in more christmas games or old home videos.

Only time would tell.

[jesterjoint]

fully convinced my workplace is some kind of magnus archives au. about 5 months ago i started logging everything that proves this point in my notes app and so far i have

-ominous delivery guys??

-the metal pipe incident (he’s fine)

-the debate on whether or not tacky button up shirts are appropriate work attire

-that cult leader

-the woman covered in spiders who insisted she “didn’t need help” because they were “guiding her”

-“since when did we have 2 bitches named sasha working here?” (we dont. it’s just me.)

-we got a shipment in from brands that have no record of existing at all

-the evil mannequin

-the dog situation

-the terminally ill gay goth employee and the little older lady who runs shit like the navy have some kind of family dynamic

will update if any more crazy shit happens 🙏

[dahfloofysmol]

HELLO. This is the official post for YouTube kids’ surprise party on the 27th of March. Any and all gimmick blogs welcomed!

Some roles we need are:

-DJ [real-pollo-campero]

-great DJ (as per requested 🤨) [spotify-kids-real]

-video jockey [buildabearfr]

-Someone to make the cake [forever21-official]

-Puncher server [big-mayo-official]

-Decorator [barns-and-noble-official]

-Party crasher(s) [officialtinder and youtubefr and actually-kroger]

-Corner Person [Pinterest, yahooo-official, reallytimhortons]

-Person who’s dealing with a crazy sugar high [firewaysubs and zotap]

-Emotional support [walmart and def-bjs-guys]

-Mom [Krista the art program and Canadian tire] AND dad friend

-Birthday person IS taken (obviously lol)

-Someone to bring snacks [incognito-mode-official]

-Ring Leader (person in charge of the games) [totally-official-yahoo]

-person who performs a special but confusing (and overly translated) version of happy birthday [google translate ]

-piñata [firehouse-subs-fr]

-setting off fireworks [google-news-official]

-here for the food and bringing tWO DOGS!!! OMG DOGS!!!!! [swearification-and-cursing]

-person currently trying tO EAT THE CAKE!! STOP THAT!!! [shakespeare-official-account]

- stopping the Cake Eater [wow-google-maps]

- putting spiders (?????) under the cake [true-blue-straya]

- the person that is every bisexuals awakening [it’s-target-official]

-pops in for the last 5 minutes with a card + a store bought cake [the-real-google]

- gay wine uncle [the-McDonald’s]

- creepy uncle (???) [rick-e-chedder-official]

-single rich aunt who disappears every night at specifically 8:00 pm [totally-not-kraft-mac-and-cheese]

-shapeshifts between wine aunt and vodka uncle, and the comic relief [the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

- bringing lights so we aren’t all dancing in the dark [real-vivaldi-browser]

- summoning Satan under the table with a bottle of whiskey and pancakes (??????????) [definitely-canada]

-person asking weirdly specific and absurd questions [actual-aspec-military]

-the COOLEST cousin [support-speaks]

-cousin who hangs out in the corner and looks like they know something you dont [the-official-publix]

-person who hits on everyone at the party even though they’re already dating 2 ppl [fr-winn-dixie]

-contributes Ziploc® bags [totally-scjohnson]

-bringing burritos [the-real-chipotle]

-YouTube's kids southern aunt who blesses everyone's hearts bc they think theyre dumb most of the time [i-bless-your-heart]

-middle school cousin who argues with anyone and everyone to look cool [wallyworld-the-unofficial]

-gives oil (?????????????) and branded pens as party favors [truly-jcjenson]

-the strange neighbor kid who talks to no one but sings the loudest and brings a weird yet tasteful gift [the-real-aperture-science]

-bringing Walmart sugar cookies [not-really-discord]

-guy bringing the Knives [wheatley-labs-official]

-joining in on the games [totally-official-yahoo]

-the disco ball [jollibee-real]

-that one uncle with lore of untold numbers of deaths involved, and that includes guns [partycityistotallyofficailguy]

And any other role I haven’t stated!! I’ll accept pretty much anything

In case what you pick is already chosen, tag your second option ;p

—>The biggest part of the surprise party is wishing YouTube kids a happy birthday, but in the most creative way possible. In the “ask me” works, but literally anywhere; on your blog or on a post from anywhere (that you know they’d be okay with a little shenanigans) works wonderfully.

->Also, saying happy birthday is awesome, but spicing it up would be more fun!!! Day Of Birth, One of Awakening, Oh Child of the 27th, and any other batshit way to say “happy birthday” would both be awesome and absolutely hilarious.

Again, invite any and all gimmick blogs, and feel free to let me know what you’d want to do! We attack on the 27th >:DD

ADDITIONAL NOTE: sometimes there will be more than one person in each role! I do actively encourage for people to come up with silly and niche roles if you think of one ;D

ON THE 24th I WILL NO LONGER TAKE ROLLS!!!! Spread the word please!

@barnes-and-noble-official @basically-bumble @totallyofficialtacobell @totally-official-yahoo @totally-bing @officialtinder @officially-google-translate @officially-ikea @official-fedex @incognito-mode-official @forever21-offical @officialkfc @kfc-official @k-f-c-official @life360-i-swear @xgames-blog @cars-official @big-mayo-official @bingle-official @the-real-google @the-real-firefox @nasa @wow-google-maps @wallyworld-the-unofficial @walmart-the-official @realgoogleslides @realgoogledocs @yahooo-official @unfortunate-wattpad @firewaysubs @firefox-official @pinterest-real @spotify-kids-real @duothelingo @definitely-wikipedia @firehouse-subs-fr @google-2point0 @gimmick-thief

[godilovecinnamon222]

how to surv1ve thanksgiving and christmas d1nn3r with an 3d mini guide!

disclaimer:

i am by no means encouraging anyone to st4rv3 or to follow this guide, i made it hoping that it would reach the people that know they'll be struggling at holidays and that need this help. i know how scary and how hard it is to try and keep an 3d a secret, this is supposed to help the people that need to know how to avoid the judgement and the oddly terrifying questions that get thrown at them.

how to prepare:

i would say there's 2 ways to go about the day before the d1nn3r, e4ting so that you won't p4ss out infront of your entire family, or f4$ting, this is really up to you. i have a pretty good tolerance for not p4$sing out so i will probably be f4$ting but it's totally your choice!! you can also try and calculate how much your going to e4t and burn c41s according to that (i'll list basic f00ds and numbers at the bottom)

"why is there like nothing on your plate??"

first off the best way to avoid this entirely is to just make a plate, i'd rather avoid people finding out so i can keep doing what im doing

for your plate (if you make one) load it up with tonsss of vegetables or fruit but i feel like fruit is never really served tbh, and some meat bc yay protein, sometimes ill throw a roll on there to make my plate look a little better but i don't ever really eat it, my whole family thinks im a very picky e4ter and they know i dont like thanksgiving food so im typically able to get away with throwing out f00d. and family dinners are so chaotic that people don't even realize sometimes.

you can also cut your f00d up and reshape it etc (yall know this meathod 🙏) to make it look like you at3, mashed potatoes are very easy to spread around and make them look like less. here's some excuses you can use to respond to the question:

" oh i atę earlier!!" this is a classic obviously but if your with people before hand e4t a little something in front of them and really make sure they notice.

" i dont feel to good right now."

" im not super hun6ry" also a classic but in classics we trust!

"last time i atę ____ it made feel really sick"

" oh i'm allergic to ____" allergies are a solid excuse but i wouldn't use it unless you actually have them

" gotta save room for dessert!!" don't worry i'll also be explaining how you can get through that to

dessert:

i feel like this is almost more stressful than the main meal, honestly me and my favorite cousin walk like crazy when ever we're together so sometimes i get lucky and miss dessert and than it sits out but there's no one really makeing me ęat it, for our family dessert is mostly optional and my mom knows i don't like e4tin6 a ton of junk so she won't suspect anything but if your family's forcefull here's a few things you can do:

-go for something that you know is lower in c41s or a safe f00d for you

-have very tiny servings

- bake something yourself so you know exactly what your getting

-talk about how full you are while your eating dinner so people think less at dessert

" i might have something in a little bit!!" try to avoid saying things about f00d, like im still full from dinner or im letting my f00d settle, because than you won't have to deal with "but you barely 4tę anything!!"

know what your 3ating:

all of these are measured by the s3rving siz3 (also going to be listed) they may also vary depending on brands, ingredients, toppings, blah blah blah you guys probably know that. this is basically just a rough estimate

cranberry suace: 86 c41s, one slice (about 8 slices per can take that as you will)

- mashed potatoes: 214 c41s (1 cup)

- sweet potato casserole: 235 c41s (1 cup)

- green bean casserole: 200-230 c41s ( a little under 1 cup)

- green beans: 31 c41s (1 cup)

- broccoli: 31 c41s (1 cup)

- asparagus: 32 c41s (10 spears)

- mac and cheese: 310 c41s(1 cup)

- turkey: 240 c41s (1 cup)

- gravy: 36 c41s (3 tbs)

- stuffing: 300-400 c41s (1 cup)

- rolls: 80-150 c41s (one roll)

- pumpkin pie: 300-450 c41s (one slice)

- apple pie: 300-450 c41s (one slice)

- pecan pie 400-500 c41s (one slice)

these f00ds are mostly for thanksgiving because the whole holiday is centered around f00d and i actually despise that, let me know if i missed anything you want me to add to the list or if any of these are incorrect!!

with all of that said, if you enjoy thanksgiving or anything to do with f00d in general, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!!! no matter where you stand your 3d is still valid. so if you choose to try and make the best of the holidays to whatever extent that may be go right ahead and don't let anyone else stop you, make your self a plate of your your favorite things and go back for dessert twice if that's what you choose, one day won't ruin every step of progress you made, as long as you don't loose yourself entirely you will be ok!!

no matter who you are or how your struggling, your 3d is valid, good luck, be safe, and happy holidays!!!

[luvsatorus]

summary: you tease satoru in public, afab!reader, nsfw

contents: dom! satoru, jjk universe, aged up minors (jjh), public, fingering, oral (f!recieving), dumbification, lots of pet names, dacryphilia, biting

word count: 1.9k

part one

"we're leaving now," satoru stands up abruptly. the sudden movement causes his long legs to knock the underside of the shared table, the cups threatening to spill liquid. the people housing at the table all snapped their head towards satoru who was avoiding eye contact with the members at the table. "uh are you alright satoru?" suguru asked, with slight concern but attempted to laugh off his nerve. it was very out of character to see satoru so bothered infront of everyone. "yes, i just remembered that y/n and i had some things we needed to take care of back home" a small smile threatened to appear on your face before keeping the stoic one on, "oooh yeah! silly us, sorry to leave to so suddenly, you know how toru gets about unfinished business" you gently stood up and slipped from the table, directly contrasting from satoru's harsh one. a small look of relief was found on the others as you noticed their shoulders rest. "ooh okay, you two can sort it out quickly" yuji mentioned as satoru placed a 20 on the table to pay for any drinks you two had previously gotten that night.

for the past hour you had rubbing and palming poor satoru under the table. while everyone had been laughing and drinking, satoru was grumbling, shooting threats at you. "y/n stop it," but you didnt even glance back at him and just continued to softly palm over his growing bulge, "and so what happened then?" you exclaimed over to the excited blush colored hair boy in front of you. "it was fucking crazy, that curse was massive and ended up staining my brand new clothes" the boy slumped down a bit in mourning over his former cloths. you felt writhing from under your hand, "you better fucking stop brat" your boyfriend mutters, but you choose to play a little demon, and ignoring him and putting more pressure and even cradling the imprint on his pant. "well thats what you get for not wearing your uniform while exorcising a curse dumbass" a spiky raven hair boy monotonedly said as he took another drink of his spiked beverage. the boy frowned, "i wasn't even on duty! it wasn't my fault the world needed saving at an inconvenient time" he ended up muttering the last bit to himself.

you gave a soft laugh as you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist, satoru's hand gripping the side of your right thigh. "what do you think youre doing bunny" you loved the way how small you fit in his arm, his arms being able to completely wrap around you and his hand reaching to rest in your inner thigh, softly kneading at the plush skin under them. you had been wearing a soft flower dress and made you look like angelic. his hand softly pushed the flowy fabric up where you felt his large hand move up and down your thigh, threatening to giving you the same treatment you had been giving him for the past hour. you looked back at your handsome man behind you. his small black glasses hanging lowly on his nose bridge, his cerulean eyes threatening you with lust and desire. "having fun with our friends, silly" you whispered and gave him an innocent smile as you fiddled with the button of his black jeans, quickly popping them open. a small smirk appeared on his face as he announced that the two of you would be departing.

the moment the two of you got home, the inner door of your shared home was met with you back, your neck with satoru's lips. a uncontrolled moan slipped from ur lips and your hands tangled with the silky white hair ontop of tall sorcerer in front of you, his hands gripping the underside of your knees, forcing them to wrap around his slim waist. the new postion, forced the dress you were wearing to be hiked up to pool around your waist. "you think youre so funny, dont you brat?" his hands harshly squeeze the plush of your ass before raking them under your dress to pull at the lacey black thong that hug your hips, only to let the string snap back at your sensitive skin. resulting in a light gasp to leave your blushed lips. you could feel the venom of his words against the skin of your neck as he ruthlessly sucked and bite at the surface. the aggression forcing purple marks to be left in trade. "i have no idea what youre talking about" you breathlessly said with a smile on your face as satoru pushed you harder against the hard door behind you two. he grind his hips into yours, the roughness of the denim rubbing at the wetness of your covered cunt. you whimpered and you placed your forehead on satoru's shoulder. "so youre telling me you cant recall teasing me for over an hour under the table with your pretty hands?" satoru presses his clearly hard cock onto you, grinding the two clothes together, ensures to stain your juices on him. he loved the way you left your desire on him and how often he needed to make runs to the store to buy new ones. you whimper as you shake your head no as you grind your hips into his craving for friction. "use your mouth pretty girl before i use it for something else," he threatens, youre tempted to not say anything in hope satoru would shove his cock down your throat. but you know better than to tease him anymore than you have, "oh that? i was just having fun" you giggle as you grind deeper into him, causing a growl to leave satoru, "you know i fucking hate it when you play smart with me like this, you brat" you let out a loud gasp as you hear the fabric of your pretty white dress being ripped open from the front and satoru using one of his hands to pull down at your bra, resulting in your tits spilling from their confinements. his mouth latched onto the plump mounds before suckling on the peaks. his tongue swirled around your nipples before swiping his tongue flat across them, causing flurries of moan to leave your mouth. satoru always knew how to use his tongue to please you in every way. "m-my dress," you said in a mindless frown. "i'll buy you a new one, i promise pretty." he said with your tits muffling his sound as he glanced up at you through his frothy white lashes, his glasses still hanging lowly from his nose.

he wasted no more time getting you from the front door to your shared bedroom where he threw you onto the lush mattress, ripping the remains of your dress off of you, onto the floor where they belonged. he rushed out of the remains of his own clothes, finally tossing his dark shades onto the shared piled on already forgotten clothes. his toned slim body, you always found it funny how perfect his body remained despite dealing with multiple life-threatening curse everyday. i guess you can thank the limitless once again for not only keeping your boyfriend alive, but also looking fucking delicious for you. satoru laughed before leaning down to crash his lips onto yours "you just love staring at me dont you baby" he mumbled against the wetness of your tongue. you aggressively and dumbly nodded as you moaned into his mouth. he ran the softness of his tongue along the bottom of your lip, taking the plump flesh between his teeth where he sank them, pulling at them a little. "of course i would when youre just so pretty toru" you spoke in a pout after he released your lip. "flattery isnt going to help you, dumb little girl" he spoke as he rush down between your legs where he lick the wet cloth that stuck to your cunt, earning an honest gasp from you. he laughed against you, the vibrations causing shivering along your spine. "dumb brat" he spoke into your cunt as he pushed the soaked cloth aside with his long finger and stared into your cunt, letting the cool air meet with the heat of your cunt. you whines as you bucked your hips towards his mouth, earning a well hearted laugh from satoru. "come on now baby, stop being a brat and be a good girl for once" you frowned as you felt satoru's hand wrap around your outer thigh and pulled you close to him where you could feel his hot breath on you but still never touching you. "dont cum until i say you can" he speaks against your cunt as he begins his assault. he licks a long stripe against your folds, dragging your slick up to your clip, but stopping right before the bud of nerves. you whine as he mixes his own salvia with your juices, earning moans from him as he loudly starts slurping at the juice you had formed for him. "fuck you taste so good baby" a pitched moan leaves your mouth as your hands rush to grip satorus hair, pushing him deeper in you. he laughs as he finally drags his tongue over your clit, effectively causing you to jolt up from the suddenness. "mmm toru" you whine out as your grind your cunt inside his face, "pretty girl with the prettiest cunt" he assaults your clit with aggressive lapping. you arc your back and shove your shoulders into the plush foam mattress, giving satoru a perfect view of your tits. you can already feel your high forming "so fucking good toru please please" you mutter in speed and you chase your high.

satoru picks up his speed, "whats that baby, youre being a mumbling brat" one of satoru's long and slender fingers is shoved into your cunt as you let out a moan, you thoughtlessly thank the gods for being satoru perfect in every way, "fuck i feel so good toru please i wanna cum" satoru responds with humming as he adds another finger, knuckle deep into you, your sweet slick coating his fingers. "too bad you can cum until i tell you, sweet girl"

fuck fuck its all feels too good you think as you feel the peak of your rollercoaster coming to its peak, your moans getting louder, ensuring your neighbors can hear the mess going on from your house. "toru please baby i need to cum please baby please" you start mindlessly stuttering as drool starts falling from your mouth and tears prick your eyes. "awe baby, all this just from my mouth and fingers. you really know how to please me" his tongue starts to flick at that perfect spot, and he adds another finger, curling them to reach that ridge that shoots you straight to heaven. "oh fuck toru baby can i please cum please cum" you tensed your stomach trying to wait out your high, your hands attempting to find stability in satorus hair. "go ahead and cum for me pretty girl" you groan at satoru's approval, as you allow yourself to release onto satoru's fingers, letting the white cum coat his fingers, forming a white ring along the base of his fingers. "fuck! toruuu god fuck!" you begin blabbering pleases and profanities, as satoru doesnt slow his pace until your high is over. it isnt over as you let out sobs as you feel his finger slip out of you, as he pushes your legs apart and stand between them holding his massive cock in his hands. his cock is glistening with his own pre-cum, and fiery red at the tip as he pushes it toward your entrance "youre not done yet brat"

part two tba

[mythalism]

I'm actually really curious about your thoughts on the bg3 main story. I have often felt like it lacks a personal touch (probably due to the nature of tav as a non-character and all the companions being possible pcs)

to give the short (for me) version, yes i totally agree with that. i think there are a lot of issues with it, like the one you mentioned, that are a byproduct of bg3 being about RPG freedom first, and story second. and because of that, even though i do think they weaken the story, i dont think they necessarily need to be changed. it is impersonal because you have SO much freedom, so it had to be. my main complaint which is something i think could have actually been different while maintaining the rpg freedom that is the main goal of the game is the scope of the story. it is too fucking huge. and not in terms of time or size of the game. the plot is like... incomprehensibly large in scope. you have THREE LITERAL GODS + each of their champions + fucking balduran being a little freak freak + lost githyanki prince + rafael and mephistopheles + elder brain LIKE HOLY SHIT!!!!!! RELAX!!!!!!!!!!!! there are so many antagonists and so much going on that none of it gets its own time to breathe, no antagonist can truly stand out among the 15 others waiting for their turn in the spotlight, and the story as a whole lacks direction, instead feeling scattered and hectic because we have to do SO MUCH. and thats not even getting to the companion antagonists like cazador and generic brand mythal. it feels like they went crazy with the wealth of possibilities available to them with the world of the forgotten realms and instead of going "hey, what story do we want to tell?" they were like "WOW WE GOT WIZARDS OF THE COAST IP LETS GO CRAZY!!!!" which, i get. it was probably very exciting. i just think they DO have the writing chops, the companions questlines are really well done, the dialogue is great, like all of the smaller writing is so well done. but it makes the overarching plot stand out as especially messy in comparison.

i would have literally gotten rid of the elder brain completely and had the emperor be the mastermind behind everything rather than the absolute. it wouldve felt far more personal and intimate and added a second layer to his betrayal of lying to you over and over. it would be an easy change to fudge the lore a tiny bit so that having orpheus's power allows him to extend his psionics further, and he uses that increase range and power to manipulate gortash, orin and ketheric into doing his bidding. they can still be devoted to their respective gods, but the emperor would be using that devotion to manipulate them into thinking they are acting for the gods but in reality it is the emperor. it ties their involvement in the plot to the emperor's manipulation, giving them a shared experience with the player, rather than to a very impersonal elder brain with which we have 0 relationship or attachment to. also there should have been more toxic yaoi between him and that dragon. anyway i once wrote all this out on twitter in more detail but it was so long ago i dont remember it and i havent played the game in over a year. hopefully you will trust me that i figured out any plot holes and made it all make sense.

[vegantinatalist]

you're a crazy bitch and should be killed and eaten for forcing your morals onto a damn cat fucking slut ass nigger

You know most people dont even take their cat to a vet? Like ever? I am a rescuer and I volunteer with other vegan rescuers, we are liable for these animals health and safety and they get regular vet checkups through their lives. None of us have ever encountered an issue. Their food is literally nutritionally exactly the same as any other brand of cat food if not better, some of the nutrients are just formulated in a lab the same way your IV bag nutrients are. They enjoy it. Obligate carnivore just means some nutrients arent produced in their bodies the way they are for us out of amino acids from plants (and some other stuff like needing a certain protein to acid ratio). So for example, they need taurine to come from their food. It doesn't mean that if you formulate their taurine in a lab that they magically wont be able to digest it and they'll die, that's not how this works. Way to expose how dumb and nuts you carnists are though. Keep opposing major progressions I'm sure it will get you far.

[ebonytails]

Nobody askd but like i hate the “need” to be “consistant”. Like i have DID and ADHD so my art style is going to be different oftn and i love to explore different styles. Im thinking about when i finally get my hands on a booth/table for artist alleys or at markets and . Im sorry! But my art style will NIT be consistant like MOST brand/other artists out there! And it kind of makes me sad or stressed bc what if it will make ppl not want to follow my art market journey? What if theyll find me unprofessionl just bc i dont have 1 single art style? Im silly boy! I cn only hope tht ppl wll not thnk im not professional jst bc i have 5 different styles on my booth lol

And then i would rather have one youtube channel/tiktok/account for all my ventures too. Like its knda frustrating bc you look up “artist alley” youtube videos and every channel is always Consistantly ONLY posting artist alley. Or you look up othr artists and they always Stick to one Content. Well wht if i wnt 2 post animation memes, atist alley, skits, tutorials, and video essays on ONE channel?? Art is a crazy BROAD genre, y r we also boxing artists n content creators into ONE thing just 2 pleas what. An algorithm??? Every business advice is “pick one niche!” “pick one content to do 4ever!” “if you lack consistancy, customers wont stick to u/ the algorithm will ignore you”

Art is CRAZY! art is anything u WANT it 2 be!! Im going to post animations, artist alley vlogs, and tutorials on my YT/Tiktok, im gnna post anim8ions and digital illustrations 2 tumblr + twitter, and no one can stop me!! (but i only hope that people pass by anyway ;_;)

[mjfsupremacy]

Let's talk about this.

CM Punk was a bigger star than everyone else when he came in. That is 100% fact. We would be crazy to deny it. He came in on legend status, 7 years of fans wondering if they would ever see him again. That's huge and he was a big get and for the first few months, whenever we saw him it felt like a big deal. He was putting in decent matches, he was doing incredible storytelling and he was adding so much value to the company.

That didn't last long. It became apparent well before the all out media scrum that he'd very much gone into business for himself and that he'd allowed his ego to run rampant. The list of names pouring out weekly that he had pissed off just kept getting larger and larger, and no, I don't think all the issues he had were his fault but a great many of them he claimed some fault in at least.

That media scrum was the perfect example of a man whose ego has been left to go unchecked for too long, someone who has clearly decided he's better than everyone else in the room and what he has to say matters more than what anyone else does.

After that, he was no longer the name he came in with. It's surprising that seeing AEW be completely fine without him didn't humble him even a little bit because when he came back, he didn't come back with any integrity or willingness to work to make AEW better, he was clearly, again just there for himself. Maybe at this point, he was already hoping to go back to WWE, who knows, but it was apparent he wasn't there because he cared about AEW and the fans knew it. It's an interesting bit of revisionist history happening right now that apparently WWE fans either willingly or ignorantly don't know that a large collection of AEW fans wanted him gone, because they were so tired of his attitude or they sensed he didn't care about AEW like they did. AEW fans are getting straight bullied on the internet because WWE fans think they are jealous or salty he went to WWE when that, honestly, for most, couldn't be further from the truth.

Of course he doesn't rate the top AEW guys highly, his actions for the entire time he was there showed that he didn't care that this was more than a job for them, this was a dream to put American pro-wrestling on the map again, this was a chance for wrestlers who dont fit the mould to do what they love on a huge stage. (Not a knock on WWE, by the way. They aren't wrestling. They specifically do not brand themselves as such.)

As for the WWE guys in AEW waiting to go back, they should be released. Let them go back. There seems to be this fear that if AEW releases talent that clearly wants to go back to WWE that it's a loss. It shouldn't be, they clearly don't have the companies best interests in mind, and if AEW is going to survive, it need people who believe in it 100%

AEW needs to refocus and they desperately need a restructure. They need more women in leadership for one. They need someone who can keep the egos in check but most importantly they need to remind themselves who they are and why they were so special to begin with. They have always been about heart, and wrestling, and having something to say, and passion. Some of that's been lost this year.

I firmly believe they will find it again, but I think the key is to move on, and keep grinding. Keep putting in work that silences the naysayers and is something to be proud of. I honestly wouldn't even mention Punk ever again, I'd literally scrub him and if the few friends he has left there don't understand why, I'd be asking them if they believe in what's best for AEW or what's best for them.

Anyways, here's a quick list of AEW stars that could carry the company on their back tomorrow and would smoke CM Punk on his best day.

- HANGMAN ADAM PAGE

- Orange Cassidy

- Ricky Starks

- Trent Bereta

- Wheeler Yuta

- Daniel Garcia

- Kris Statlander

- Hikaru Shida

- Julia Hart

- Willow

- Skye Blue

- Eddie Kingston

- Wardlow

- Bandito

- Konosuke Takeshita

- Kyle Fletcher

- Penta

- MAXWELL JACOB FRIEDMAN

(Edit: Darby Allin was originally on this list, I was not aware of his previous SA history with his ex or his alleged behaviours toward homeless people in his past. I'm genuinely sorry if anyone was hurt or offended by this.)

[popppyfur]

...Im having thoughts and i need a 2nd opinion.

How long ago do we reckon trolls were caught/eaten/found by bergens? (relative to the great escape for simplicity)

lemme walk you through my thoughts...

we dont know how the tunnels got there, did the trolls dig them? or something else? or were they always there?

When did Peppy decide to use the tunnels? when were they discovered?

How many trolls did the bergens eat. surely at first they must have bean eating HEAPS of trolls daily before realised that they would run out. how long was it until then?

It had to have been long enough that they would have then decided to make trollstice (help cant spell) a yearly tradtion. could it at first have been monthly?

We dont know how many pop trolls there were at first. have their number gone down? by how much? since more being eaten means less babies.

How many queens/kings were at the troll tree? Just peppy? his parents? But that raises the question of wether or not any of the escaped trolls remember a time before the bergens.

-- A brand new, different anon.

GOD you reminded me of when i eventually realized how massively fucked the pop trolls were pre 1st movie. i remember trying to read everything i could that talked about it and staying up til 4 am to do it because holy hell they were being eaten on a yearly basis. IM HOLDING UR HAND AND SHAKING IT REALLY HARD. and im gonna answer this as jumbled as i can bc. its me. the professional yapper.

on that note ! all under read more to spare everyones dashboards

also, i havent really gone through actual specific numbers, my brains just settled on some vague decision that the pop trolls dont pass the hundreds, or five hundreds. that is to say, poppy would probably still try to know everyone by name just bc she would lol. so i hope you guys can just make up imaginary numbers of years too !!

we dont know how the tunnels got there, did the trolls dig them? or something else? or were they always there? When did Peppy decide to use the tunnels? when were they discovered?

ive always kinda assumed that the pop trolls dug it themselves! they knew about it long enough that they bothered to leave behind decoys of themselves after all. im assuming its a part of a long, long long list of attempts to escape, and they finished digging just a bit before the last trollstice. peppy wasnt gonna risk losing any more, especially since poppy herself was gonna be given to gristle

How many trolls did the bergens eat. surely at first they must have bean eating HEAPS of trolls daily before realised that they would run out. how long was it until then? It had to have been long enough that they would have then decided to make trollstice (help cant spell) a yearly tradtion. could it at first have been monthly? We dont know how many pop trolls there were at first. have their number gone down? by how much? since more being eaten means less babies.

i lost the damn reddit post so im gonna make my own screenshot instead LOL

from left to right, classical, techno, pop, funk, country, and the red blob under them; rock with a mix of other trolls

so like. THIS FUCKING DEVASTATED MEEEEEEEEEEEE. assuming theres more classical trolls just off screen, the visible sheer difference in numbers from the pop trolls in comparison to the other tribes (FUNK IS AN OUTLIER HUMOR ME) just. genuinely left me a bit speechless.

and if you go back to the first movie and remember that the entirety of their village fit in branch's bunker not to mention the DAMN POT? it just. really puts itself into perspective. bc that stage was still relatively big, but the pot. the fucking pot. the entirety of pop village

ALL of them. in THERE? isnt that crazy? we can say that some escaped, sure. but just the fact that they couldve gotten wiped out just like that is so. messed up to me man ToT

i dont remember which fic i read it from anymore, but there was a line going how the pops initially outnumbered the other tribes and thats how they were ever able to threaten actually overtaking everyone. and like. YEAH SURE. fuck me up even more like that why dont ya!!!!!

so suffice to say, pop troll population not doing so hot! and all your thoughts is just one domino falling after another. you piece together the pieces and ultimately just ending up with one undeniable answer. they got eaten. simple as that.

How many queens/kings were at the troll tree? Just peppy? his parents? But that raises the question of wether or not any of the escaped trolls remember a time before the bergens.

and ur first question, putting them together for one last godawfully long ramble :]

How long ago do we reckon trolls were caught/eaten/found by bergens? (relative to the great escape for simplicity)

the fact that world tour makes it a point to say that only peppy ever knew of the other tribes makes me lean more onto the assumption that its been... a while? but also like. no one's ever mentioned viva? no one remembers the princess who was old enough to fight bergens and mention that to poppy??? whos to say these guys arent just repressing everything as they always do????????? [ITS HARD TO ARGUE SPECULATIONS HERE BC they had to make plot for the movies to make sense!!! its why it feels so mean to me to just blame everything on peppy LMAO. even if that is the easiest way to make sense of it. I WANT NUANCE DAMMIT]

so for the sake of it. i like to think that theyve been under the bergens' capture long enough that everyone outside of the royal family forgot about the time that they were even free from the bergens. long enough that the royal family could rewrite the scrapbooks to make it seem like it wasnt their fault. that it never was. whether to spare themselves the blame, selfish deniability, or just. give up the hope that there was a single minuscule possibility to have help from the outside.

i said before that i headcanonned peppy holding resentment for them in the belief that no one could ever bother to just check. and thats part of the reason why he doesnt even want to attempt getting to know them, since it probably felt like no one EVER cared except for themselves.

again. im sorry that i dont have a specific number for you though ToT the most i can say is that: its long enough that they forgot.

POST ANSWER ASK RAMBLEEEE

heres a fic that made me ugly cry about this! i think it gives really good answers to your questions!!!!!!! and though it doesnt completely fit with whats 'canon' (when has anything ever) its such a horrifying and deliciously good outlook on how the bergens affected the pop trolls as a whole! cant recommend it enough!! please leave the author kudos and love especially if this is your type of jam!!!

more than anything. the realization of how hard the pop trolls' lives mustve even been prior to the first movie made me have so much fucking love for them even more?? T_T even if it is unhealthy to an outside perspective, they tried to stay positive, and they got through all those yearly eatings thanks to it, no wonder they try to stay within that mindset even after everything. sometimes i wonder if they felt like its all they had

[raveneira]

Friendly reminder these are feats Sarada was pulling at 11-12, this isnt something new or groundbreaking & definitely doesnt scale her to Otsutsuki. If that were the case then that'd make her stronger than B0ruto who had to flee from them 😑 which your crazy if you think she is

A Chidori is not hard to dodge if you have the sharingan and reflexes to match it which Sarada does, why I bring this up is because yall were the same ppl who attacked me and anyone else who said she was more than capable of fending for herself against Kawaki both here & here

Yall said he was too fast, that she would've died, and my favorite 'what did you expect her to do?'

I dunno, THIS?

Dont even try to argue that base Kawaki without karma, and V1 karma Kawaki was stronger and faster than a 10 tails Rinnegan amped Sasuke.

Also just wanna point out yet another glaring power scaling flaw, which is why the hell is her chidori weaker than it was when she was 12? she grabbed a whole chunk outta Boro but 3 years later she just gives bee stings? Hidari should be missing part of his abdomen.

For the record heres the damage Chidori typically does if you think Im just nitpicking no, this is a literal power scaling flaw.

Dont get me wrong Im glad shes doing something, but she was always capable of doing this all along so its not really impressive but more of why'd it take yall so long to show her actually use her arsenal & fend for herself like she always could? where was this in 58? 78? 81? 82?

It took 4 years, 4 YEARS for her to do what shes always been able to do again, shes done this since Gaiden, Sasuke has done the same at 12, yet for 4 years all she did after Boro was stand there or cry and yall response was 'what could she do?' stfu.

THIS is what she could do, if a 12 year old Sasuke could dodge a semi Kurama amped Naruto then Sarada can handle a base karmaless Kawaki and a V1 Karma Kawaki.

And before anyone mentions, the only reason Sasuke stopped being able to dodge is because Kurama had a mind of his own, he could predict Narutos movements and dodge accordingly but he couldn't predict Kuramas.

Now yall wanna gas when yall didnt even believe she could do THIS much, the bare damn minimum, DODGE, yall didnt even think she could do that but now all of a sudden when she does its this incredible feat? but I thought we were the haters for sayin she was always able to do this?

Isnt it ironic that the ones who were called haters are the ones who were saying Sarada was better than that, and the ones who were called 'real fans' were the ones saying she was too weak and slow to even dodge with her 3T sharingan? funny how that works.

See how fast ppl switch up and forget their own narratives they put out there. Be honest, you knew she was always capable of this, you just made excuses either because of a ship or because it made your goat look good.

I already know Im still gonna get branded a hater for literally saying she's always been this strong and capable of fending for herself, but Im not gonna pretend this is some impressive feat when it isn't, 3 years ago yea, but 3 years later? this SHOULD be light work for her now.

If next chapter we see some MS abilities then we can talk about impressive feats, but this? thats how I know yall didn't think much of her and still don't if you think this is a big moment just dodging an attack and doing a low damage chidori 🤦‍♀️

This is what yall clowned Naruto for when he came back in the timeskip still using his same arsenal he left with, so lets not pretend this is any different for Sarada, everything shes done in TBV so far she was doing in part 1, there's no difference YET but hopefully in 11 we'll finally see her growth, OR a dodge and chidori is all she gets and will immediately need saving now.

As long as Boruto stays outta the way then the odds are higher for her to actually hold her own, but if Boruto is coming back to the scene its game over for her so here's hoping his ass has to take a back seat the entire invasion so everyone else can actually do they thing without him draggin them down.

For context, what I mean by that is whenever Boruto is involved everybody else gets dragged down to make him look good by comparison, for example in 58, 78, 81, and 82 Sarada for some reason completely forgot how to move, dodge, react, or activate her own sharingan, but as soon as Boruto has to stay away hiding, suddenly she remembers she has the sharingan, reflexes to dodge, and defend herself. I used Sarada as the example but this is a problem with the entire cast not just her, but since this post is about her thats why I used her for reference, but everybody immediately got better as soon as Boruto was written out of the way.

I said it before and I'll say it again, HES the problem, not from any fault of his own, but because the writers cant seem to make him shine and stand out on his own without draggin everybody else down so he looks cool and badass by comparison, rather than him just standing out on his own merits.

Think about it, name one 'cool' or 'badass' moment he's had in the timeskip that hasn't been handed to him at someone else's expense

His win against Mitsuki came with Mitsuki was already wavering and feeling doubt and willing to die

His win against Code came after he just rescued Sarada who just stood there

His win against Kawaki came after he had spent the last 8 chapters being easily knocked out and knocked down

The entire invasion everybody was getting sneaked, caught off guard, barely holding their own, and needed saving, while Boruto was just casually beating Code and his grimes with zero effort.

Now? with Boruto removed? Inoshikacho holding their own against Jura and Hidari, the strongest two clones

Shikadai done restrained Jura and pulled his branches apart to free Himawari

Inojin saved Himawari and bought them time to get away from the village

Chocho pushed Jura out of the way to make his bijuu bomb miss and expanded herself when Inojins bird was hit to cushion everybodies fall.

Himawari awakens Kuramas power

Sarada remembers shes an Uchiha with the sharingan who can dodge and react accordingly

Kawaki got his brain back and prioritized Himawari's safety over hunting down Boruto.

The difference between when Boruto was involved and when he wasn't is night and day. Again its no fault of his own, but it seems like the writers cannot make Boruto shine without dragging everyone else down, and the only way everyone else will shine is if Boruto is FORCED outta the way.