#but w rice you gotta wash the rice then let it cook and if you it wrong it comes out mushy and then if you want stuff w the rice you gotta

[gigginox]

i know i say rice is my all time carb but. i do eat bread more than i eat rice I think

[sickficideas]

gotta hear me out || sick Akutagawa w/ caretaker Atsushi - chapter 2 of 3

ao3! 5.1k/10.6k - please refer to the tags in the link for content + warnings! sicktember 2024, day 30: past prompt (2022, day 27: sleepless night)

Atsushi tries to keep himself busy. There’s not many signs at all that Akutagawa has done anything in his home outside of his room - there’s a few dishes and a pot in the sink that Atsushi decides to clean and put away, dishes far fancier than necessary, he thinks - a rice cooker and a teapot on the counter too. He thinks his next objective is going to be to get Akutagawa to eat something. Rice is probably an easy start.

The storm seems to have let up a bit. It’s still raining, sky still filled to the brim with dark clouds, but he hasn’t heard thunder for a while. He knows that it won’t continue like this, but it’s a nice break for now. He really hates having to listen to thunder.

He finally finds a thermometer, too. He snuck into Akutagawa’s bathroom through a second door, finding one buried under other medical supplies, without charged batteries, of course. At least the batteries were easier to find, and now he has a working thermometer.

He checks his own temperature, laying the thermometer under his tongue for a few seconds, to make sure it’s working properly. He’s been told by Yosano that his temperature is higher than the average human’s, closer to that of a tiger’s, and the thermometer reflects that. A hundred and one point one. That would be a decent fever on a normal person. He washes the thermometer and sets it on the counter beside the rice cooker.

Atsushi turns the TV in the living room after peering around for a remote. Thankfully, it was already on a very low volume. He doesn’t need it loud at all, he really just wants to keep track of the news. They’re actively reporting on the storm, confirming his hypothesis that it will indeed continue on through the night.

He bites his lip.

He wanders back into the kitchen, deciding he’ll work on the daunting task of trying to figure out how the rice cooker works. It’s more difficult than it looks. It’s way, way fancier than one he’s ever seen, and he thinks he might have to give up and opt for cooking rice in a pot, but luck is on his side, and he finds a manual.

He turns back to the island in the kitchen, opening the foldable manual to find the section that explains which buttons do what, and he catches something dark in his peripheral. Atsushi backs up, nearly hits his back against the other counter, arms defensively over his chest as he gasps.

Akutagawa just raises his eyebrows in vague confusion. He’s sitting at the kitchen island on one of the bar stools, one arm crossed and his head propped on the other.

“You scared me,” Atsushi says with the heavy sigh, lowering his arms and closing his eyes for a few seconds, trying to lower his heart rate. “How long have you been sitting there?”

“Not long,” Akutagawa says simply. Atsushi has no idea how he didn’t hear him leave his room. He doesn’t even really look half-asleep, his eyes just squint, bothered by the overhead light. Atsushi wanders over to the light switch to turn it off.

“Do you ever have these on?” Atsushi asks him, realizing a pattern from earlier.

“No,” Akutagawa says. “I hate having the lights on. Such a waste. I can see perfectly fine without them.”

“Maybe you’re still a vampire after all,” Atsushi jokes, finding the connection a little amusing.

“Ugh, shut up,” Akutagawa grumbles, bringing his head down into his hand and pressing them against his temples. Atsushi realizes he still definitely has a headache, no wonder the lights are bothering him so much. He’s slept a few hours, at the very least, Atsushi was hoping that would help. He definitely needs something in his system.

“When was the last time you had something to eat?” Atsushi asks him, folding up the manual after figuring out enough to be able to do simple things with the rice cooker.

“Not sure,” Akutagawa murmurs, lowering his hands back onto the counter, “a couple of days ago.”

Atsushi’s eyes widen. “Days?!”

“I don't eat often. That's not abnormal,” Akuatagwa huffs, like that’s an easily acceptable answer.

“Well, yeah. That's clear,” Atsushi mumbles. Akutagawa is ridiculously thin, which he’s sure has something to do with his illness, but he’s seen him regularly refuse to eat. “You should eat every day. No wonder you're passing out all the time.”

Akutagawa seems taken aback by that accusation. “I do not pass out all the time.”

“I can't count the number of times I've seen you pass out on two hands, so, that's too many,” Atsushi chides. It’s not always for a long time, but Akutagawa clearly never has enough energy to fight regularly. He’s seen him pass out, just for a few seconds, many times after using his ability for extended periods of time. “Also, you literally passed out when I got here.”

“I’m sick, in case you forgot,” Akutagawa grumbles.

“I thought you’re always sick,” Atsushi says, mocking how difficult he was being earlier. Akuatagwa just rolls his eyes, props his chin up on his palm and stares out the window, childishly pretending Atsushi isn’t there.

Atsushi opens a few cabinet drawers and doors looking for rice, surprised Akutagawa doesn’t try to wring his neck for going through his things, but he finally finds the rice. He takes the container out onto the counter.

“How’s rice sound?”

“Nauseating,” he answers, still staring out the window.

“Okay, well you have to eat something, Akutagawa,” Atsushi tells him with a half-pout. He wishes there was some way to help his nausea without him taking medicine, because he’s sure any of that would make him feel terrible on a completely empty stomach.

“Do as you wish,” Akutagawa huffs, repeating his earlier sentiment. Maybe he's realized that Atsushi won't back down.

Atsushi takes that, and decides to continue.

Akutagawa doesn't say a word to him for at least the twenty minutes while the rice is cooking. He stays on the chair for a while, listless and staring out the window, deep in thought. Atsushi wonders what he's thinking about, or what's ever on his mind in general, but he thinks that's something he'll never find out.

He disappears behind Atsushi's back once he's turned around and scooping the rice into a bowl. He sees he's gone and sat down on the couch, his eyes now on the TV screen instead of the window. They're still covering the weather. Atsushi suspects they'll probably be doing that through the night too.

Atsushi wanders into the living room with two bowls of rice and just sits with him and watches the news for a little while. It's kind of nice - calm, quiet. Akutagawa doesn't turn it up and neither does Atsushi, so at times the raindrops against the windows are louder than the weather reporting, but Atsushi doesn't mind it. He wishes Akutagawa had some sort of rice seasoning or chazuke packets laying around, but based on what he found in his kitchen, he gets the feeling that the latter never cooks at all. He thinks eating rice plain in solidarity with Akutagawa is fine in the end.

Akutagawa eats more of the rice than Atsushi expected him to, considering he hasn't eaten or taken medicine in days due to his nausea. Maybe he had been mistaking hunger pains from not eating for nausea. Atsushi decides he'll see how it goes, and if that's really the case, maybe he can take some medicine.

He's relieved at the idea that Akutagawa might be fine after all. He just needed a few simple things, just to be taken care of for a few hours.

The weather report starts to show aerial clips of Suribachi City. Atsushi's been through there several times in his time at the Agency, being it's an area of high crime that even the mafia seems to stay out of.

He'd never thought out how horribly prone to flooding the crater-shaped slums are, but it makes perfect sense. The reporter talks about how many of its inhabitants will be found in Yokohama during the storm to avoid drowning in the floods. They have nowhere else to go.

Akutagawa takes the remote, changes the channel to the next one down and hands it to Atsushi.

“Choose something else to watch,” Akutagawa tells him. Atsushi takes the remote, a little surprised by the sudden demand, but the look in his eyes is strange. It's not fear, is it?

“News not good enough for you anymore?” Atsushi says, testing to see if he's receptive to teasing, because even the tone of how voice is a little concerning.

“Are you enjoying watching homeless children drown?” he bites back. It's not quite as mean as he usually is, more defensively, and a strange comment considering nothing of the sort was shown on screen. It was simply implied.

“Since when do you care about kids? You kill people,” Atsushi reminds him. He's really just teasing him, but he's never seen Akutagawa interact with a child other than Kyoka, and he wasn't good to her. “Or, used to.”

Akutagawa looks angry for a few seconds, like he's trying to figure out what to say, but it seems Atsushi's comments have left him speechless enough to decide against it. He just sighs and turns his head back towards the screen.

Atsushi thinks the entire interaction was strange. Akutagawa getting so defensive out of nowhere isn't like him. Atsushi at least knows what to avoid in conversation most of the time so he doesn't get choked out, but this time, he has no idea what set it off. Or, if he does, he doesn't know why.

He knows a lot less about Akutagawa than he thinks he does.

Akutagawa coughs into his hand a few times before he places his bowl of rice on the coffee table, chopsticks laying over the top of it, to then cough into his elbow. Atsushi gets up quickly and decides he'll get him a glass of water. He needs to start getting hydrated anyway. The dizziness and headache could certainly be lessened if it wasn't dehydrated.

Atsushi hands him a glass of water once the coughing dies down. Akutagawa is hesitant on taking it, looking like he's considering ignoring Atsushi's presence, but he gives in and takes the glass from him, only taking a few sips of it.

“You're aware my lung illness doesn't care if I'm hydrated or not,” Akutagawa mumbles, ignoring Atsushi's eye contact as he stands in front of him.

Atsushi's heart sinks a little, hearing him say that.

“Let me look at that wound again,” Atsushi decides, not wanting to start an argument on how Akutagawa should care for himself. It's a losing battle with how unbelievably stubborn he is. He takes the glass of water and sets it behind him on the coffee table.

He leans forward over Akutagawa, who doesn't resist, pulling down the neckline of the sweatshirt to reveal the bandage. Blood has seeped through it already, but not enough to stain the sweatshirt, it looks like. He lifts a knee up onto the couch to avoid awkwardly leaning over Akutagawa, trying to inspect the wound a little more closely as he peels the bandage back.

It looks okay. Not better by any means, but cleaner at least, from Atsushi's earlier work. He thinks this should be stitched up, but it's far too old to do that now - it would only trap the infection the way it is. He thinks right now all he can do is keep it clean and covered, but once Akutagawa is feeling a little better, he needs this looked at by a professional.

He wishes he could lend Akutagawa some of his self-healing. It would make his life so much easier.

“You're too close,” Akutagawa mumbles suddenly, and Atsushi realizes how close he really is.

He's almost straddling him. One knee leaned against the couch and the other propped up on the other side of Akutagawa’s leg, almost leaning against him. This would have been much easier to do from the other side of the couch, but he was already here.

Akutagawa doesn't do anything to push him away, but his cheeks are suddenly red.

“Right - sorry,” Atsushi stammers awkwardly, standing and backing up. “I'll be - right back. I think I just need to change the bandage.”

So he does just that. He takes some supplies out from the bathroom and leaves the basket on the counter, since he'll certainly need this again later.

Atsushi just sits beside him this time, taking off the bandage as carefully as he can. Akutagawa doesn't react to much of what he's doing, aside from when he tries to clean it up. He can feel him flinch and tense up, but he doesn't make any noise - just staring forward, even though he's paying no attention to the random channel he flipped to on the TV.

Atsushi looks up every now and then, just to peer at what he can see of his eyes, and he's deep in thought about something, so much so that Atsushi is worried he'll scare him if he suddenly speaks.

He wishes he knew what Akutagawa was thinking about.

As he finishes up the bandage, he eyes Akutagawa’s unfinished rice. He ate a fair amount of it, but not as much as Atsushi would have liked him to.

“You need to eat more than that,” Atsushi tells him after he pulls the collar of Akutagawa’s sweater back up over the new bandage. He thinks he'll have to change it every few hours or so. 

“Do you want me to vomit?” Akutagawa grumbles, using the armrest of the couch to force himself up, an action that seems to be rather painful. He's sore. He hopes that doesn't mean his stomach is already hurting.

“Does that mean you feel sick?” Atsushi asks him.

“I wish you would leave,” Akutagawa mumbles under his breath, not with any intention of hiding that sentiment from Atsushi. He thinks that's a yes, then, with how he's deflecting. His arms are crossed over his chest, very defensively, but Atsushi's at least glad to see he can stand on his own.

“I don't get all your back and forth. You let me bathe you and then you want me gone,” Atsushi huffs. Akutagawa has never made any sense to him. He can never tell what he's thinking or what he'll say next.

“You're only here because of Dazai, are you not?” Akutagawa says, walking towards his bedroom, “Tell him I'm alive and go home. He doesn't care how I'm doing beyond that. As long as - I can still use my ability.”

Atsushi can't see his face, but he can tell by the way his tone wavers that it hurts him to say out loud, like it's something he's only recently come to terms with.

“That's not -”

Akutagawa slams his bedroom door behind him with the help of Rashomon, as if it's helping him prove his point.

That can't be true. Dazai isn't like that. Sure, he did ask Atsushi to make sure Akutagawa wasn't dead and really didn't say anything beyond that, but it was because he hadn't heard from him in over a week, and he wanted to make sure he was okay before the storm came in. He doesn't think Dazai would be okay with Atsushi leaving as long as Akutagawa’s still breathing. He still needs help, he's not okay by himself.

Surely that doesn't have anything to do with the usefulness of Akutagawa’s ability.

As the sky gets darker, it brings on more thunder. He thinks the storm is starting to kick things into gear, and he changes the channel to confirm his suspicions. They talk about how the worst of it will come at around three in the morning, and they're still only at eight in the evening. He shivers at the thought of having to deal with the thunder all night.

He decides to force himself back into Akutagawa’s bedroom.

Akutagawa's sat up against his pillows with his comforter up over his knees, reading a book, of all things. He looks a little cold. Atsushi doesn't understand how he can read the words with how dim the light on his nightstand is, even with the pair of glasses he's suddenly wearing.

Akutagawa glares at him, and Atsushi stares back, but only because he can't stop thinking about the glasses. Does he think they look cute? Stupid? He doesn't know, but he's staring, and Akutagawa doesn't like it. The way he looks at him almost make it seem like he's taking it as a challenge, like a dog would.

“Glasses?” Atsushi just says.

Akutagawa tilts his head, confused at first. He rolls his eyes, visibly annoyed, before lifting his book back up. “I have terrible eyesight.”

“You do?” Atsushi says. That's new. He's never realized that. Does he wear contacts? Akutagawa doesn't seem like the time for that. Maybe he only needs them to see close up. Why does he even care?

“Must you always bother me? If you refuse to leave I'd rather not have to interact with you,” Akutagawa grumbles. Atsushi's realized over time that when he says stuff like this it doesn't sound genuine at all. Akutagawa thinks it does, that's what he's trying to put on, but Atsushi doesn't think he wants to be alone. But Atsushi doesn't have any idea how to call him out for it.

“Just shout if you need me, then,” Atsushi says, feigning indifference, nonchalance, he doesn't know, he just doesn't want Akutagawa to know it doesn't bother him.

“I will not,” Akutagawa says in some feeble attempt to defy him, but as if immediately struck down by karma, he suddenly groans from some intense pain, painful enough to make him drop his book and wrap an arm around his middle, painful enough to catch him off guard like that.

“Are you okay? Atsushi asks him, cautiously approaching the bed. “Is it your stomach?”

Akutagawa nods with a little noise of discomfort. He has a feeling this is a result of him eating, and he's got a lot more to be concerned about if Akutagawa throws up.

“Please just - leave me be,” Akutagawa groans quietly, his book already forgotten and off to the side as he doubles over, clearly in pain. Atsushi doesn't want to leave him. He is a little afraid of the backlash he'll face by ignoring him, but he thinks Akutagawa has other problems to worry about right now.

Atsushi wonders for a moment if maybe he has a heating pad somewhere that would help the pain a little bit, but Akutagawa derails any of Atsushi's mental plans to prevent him from getting sick when he gags.

Atsushi is fast enough to get the trash bin under his chin just as Akutagawa shifts to the edge of the bed, presumably to vomit on the floor to avoid the bed. He has his mouth covered and he's breathing fast and heavy, staring forward like he's too focused on avoiding throwing up to see Atsushi has the bin for him.

“Here, use this,” Atsushi tells him, fairly certain that whatever Akutagawa is trying to do to breathe around his nausea isn't going to work, and he's right. As soon as Akutagawa is aware of the bin, he coughs and retches, and a rush of vomit splatters into the thin bag.

It's not much at all, just a few bits of rice mixed in with saliva. Atsushi is fairly certain that there's blood there too, but he's not sure if it's a result of

his cough or how poor his health has been the past several days. He bites his lip, trying to stay as still as possible as he holds the bin.

He breathes heavy, shaky over the bin, strings of saliva caught on the sides, his lips shining from it. He spits to break them off and tucks the side piece of his hair that's facing Atsushi behind his ear. Atsushi holds his breath. That was weirdly attractive.

He groans quietly, gagging one more time over the bin, catching him off guard. Atsushi reaches over to lay a hand on his back to give him some comfort, but before he can, Akutagawa shifts himself back to the center of the bed to lie down, arms wrapped around his abdomen.

Atsushi sets the bin down on the floor, assuming he doesn't need it anymore, but he doesn't look any less nauseous.

“Stop looking at me like that,” Akutagawa grumbles. Atsushi didn't realize that he was making a face. “I'm not…a stranger to this.”

Atsushi feels his stomach sink. He knows that. This isn't even the first time he's seen Akutagawa throw up, but seeing him in so much pain and discomfort without much of a way to help him still makes him feel awful. Atsushi really wants him to see a doctor.

“I think you should -”

“I'm fine,” Akutagawa mumbles, now letting Atsushi even finish his suggestion, “let me sleep. I'll be fine.”

Atsushi doesn't believe him. He's still visibly nauseous. He thinks Akutagawa just wants him to leave to save him some embarrassment, but really, Atsushi has no real power over him there, as long as he's not actively throwing up right now.

Atsushi takes the comforter and shifts it around a little before laying it halfway over Akutagawa, who pulls it up closer to his shoulders. He doesn't say anything, doesn't ask Atsushi to leave or to do anything else, he just shuts his eyes and pretends he isn't there.

Atsushi supposes that's better than pushing him away.

…

Atsushi thinks it's around one in the morning when he hears Akutagawa's bathroom door shut.

He hopes for a few seconds that maybe he's just gone to use the bathroom, but the coughing and retching that follows is enough to get him off of the couch and headed that direction.

It's dark. It's probably midnight now, Akutagawa somehow slept for longer than expected, at least as far as Atsushi is aware. He left Akutagawa’s bedroom door open just enough for him to still hear anything, but even so, his enhanced hearing helps as a backup.

Unfortunately, though, it makes him extra sensitive to the thunder roaring overhead and the needle-like raindrops flying against the windows, too.

Atsushi sneaks into Akutagawa’s bedroom, peering through the first door and allowing the dim light from the living room to spill into the bedroom. Akutagawa isn't here, of course, he can still hear him coughing in the bathroom, but his sheets are strewn across the bed as a sign of a very restless sleep. The sweatpants he wore are tangled in the sheets, too.

He opens the bathroom door now, carefully, and flips on the light switch because it's far too dark for him to see anything right off the bat. Akutagawa is on his knees in front of the toilet, his forehead pressed against it for a moment before he lifts his head to hiccup, and gag unproductively into the bowl. He's just wearing the long sleeved shirt and a pair of boxers now. He must've gotten too hot and taken his sweatpants off.

“I don't need you in here,” Akutagawa grumbles, whipping his head to the side and attempting to glare at him, but the light is too much. He hisses through his teeth, like he didn't realize it was on to begin with, turns his head back and presses a hand up against his forehead.

“Does your head hurt?” Atsushi asks, his hand on the light switch.

“Turn them off,” he mumbles. “Please.”

Atsushi shivers as thunder roars over head just as he turns off the lights, and he swears he sees the same reaction from Akutagawa, barely lit by the plug-in light near the sink.

“I didn't know you knew how to say please,” Atsushi teases, trying to keep his voice quiet, now that he's aware of his returned headache - if it ever even left in the first place.

“Leave me alone, Weretiger. I don't need you to sit here and watch me vomit,” he mumbles back, his tone weak and desperate, almost, the bite from his tone completely gone now.

Atsushi's heart sinks. He sounds miserable. He really sounds like he's in a lot of pain, and Atsushi can see it, too. He moves and sits beside him, close enough to be useful but not too much in his space, and watches him wrap an arm tight around his stomach, groaning quietly from the pain. His skin is paler than before, in a harsher contrast against the dark circles under his eyes, and there's some shine against the sweat collecting on his forehead. He’s certain his fever isn’t any better.

“You don't wanna try taking anything for your stomach?” Atsushi asks, clicking his tongue. He knows anything Akutagawa swallows will just come right back up. There's injectable medications for nausea, but he doesn't exactly have those resources in this situation. He thinks Yosano would kill him if he even attempted asking her.

“There's something I have that -” he stops, his body tensing up sharply as his stomach cramps,  but his mouth stays closed through grit teeth and nothing seems to come up, “in the mirror…that can melt under my tongue.”

“The mirror?” Atsushi repeats, standing up and headed for the absurdly large sink counter where the mirror, three times the size of his own at home, stands. He didn't know such a medication existed, but Akutagawa certainly would, considering how often he's sick.

“Just press the corner of the left panel,” Akutagawa mumbles, laying his head against the porcelain with a shiver and a defeated sigh.

Atsushi does so very gingerly, not entirely sure what that will do, but the panel pops out at an angle, like a cabinet would. He takes the corner and opens it all the way, revealing six or seven shallow shelves filled to the brim with various medications. Most of which are in prescribed amber bottles.

Atsushi's stomach twists at the sight of all of them. He doesn’t think that even Yosano has this many in her in-house supply. They all have his name. Akutagawa Ryuunosuke. He catches sight of various dates, ranging from a month ago to two years ago, and so many medication names he doesn't recognize. Doxycycline, Azithromycin, Prednisolone, and dozens of others, some unfinished and some empty. There's over the counter stuff in here, too - Midol, Theraflu, extra strength Tylenol, and more - some of which he's never seen before.

“Which…one?” Atsushi asks, overwhelmed by what he's looking at. He had incorrectly assumed it would be easy to find.

“Zofran,” Akutagawa murmurs quietly. Atsushi can barely hear him. “Or…Ondansteron.”

Atsushi scans over his collection and finds it labeled under the second name, carefully removing it as not to knock over the others, one hand splayed out just in case they happened to fall. He’s tempted to make a joke about it to lighten up how he feels seeing this collection, but he doubts Akutagawa wants to hear any of that, being this sick or not.

“I need to sort through those,” Akutagawa mumbles when Atsushi kneels down next to him, crossing his legs just a foot or so away as he opens the box and pulls out the silver packing. “It’s…it’s not as much as it seems.”

Weirdly enough, Akutagawa seems to be saying that to make Atsushi feel better about it. He doesn’t think that it’s true, and that makes him feel worse.

Akutagawa twists up in pain again, breathing out a pained groan as his eyes screw shut. He shifts to gag over the toilet bowl, an arm still wrapped around his abdomen, but he still can’t bring anything up. Atsushi doubt he has much left anyway with how little he’s had to eat.

Akutagawa breathes heavy over the bowl, very visibly nauseous now, having trouble focusing, it seems like. Atsushi hears more thunder, louder than before, and Akutagawa shakes at the sound of it, this time, apparently not caring much to hide that fact from him right now.

Atsushi bites his lip. He scoots a little closer and lays a hand between his shoulder blades, surprised to not see him lash out considering how much he wanted him gone.

“I’d be surprised if you had anything left to throw up,” Atsushi says with a quiet sigh.

“I don’t think I do,” Akutagawa mumbles back, “that’s - the problem.”

Atsushi tries to shift his hand a little in attempt to rub his back, give him some comfort, but he fliches at the sudden movement and Atsushi takes his hand back. It’s strange, how he won’t allow this despite the fact that Atsushi bathed him not too many hours ago. Maybe the fever was subduing him. Maybe he’s a little more with it now.

That’s good, he thinks, but it means Akutagawa is pushing him away.

Akutagawa lays down on his side in front of the toilet, slowly. almost holding his breath. He wraps both arms around his middle with a quiet groan and almost relaxes on the floor. Atsushi would rather he realx in his bed, but he’ll let him rest here for a moment before he makes him move.

Atsushi's pained to see how battered Akutagawa’s thin legs are. There's awful scars of all shapes and sizes - Atsushi can pick out several from bullets, he's able to recognize those fairly easily. There’s newer injuries, too, as new as the one on his shoulder, but none nearly as bad.

He doesn’t often think about the kinds of things Akutagawa has suffered through. He’s sure bullet wounds are just the surface, even despite how long something like that must take to heal, and the nasty scars they leave behind. It’s no wonder Akutagawa’s body can hold up long anymore, illness or not.

“Do you wanna go ahead and take it?” Atsushi asks him quietly, trying to ignore how loud his own thoughts are. “You can lay here for a little to see if it works. But I don't think you should sleep here.”

Akutagawa lets out a quiet, defeated groan, and reaches a hand out to take the pill from Atsushi. He watches him take it, but he can’t use that to ignore what he’s thinking.

He doesn’t think he could ever convince Akutagawa to leave the mafia, but he’s worried he won’t survive through it much longer in his condition.

Why does he care, anyway?

[berryblu-soda]

made onigiri today and DIDNT TAKE ANY PICTURES !!! AGHHHH-*bite bite bite bite bite bite* <- sounds of me eating said onigiri btw hahaha

10/10 deffo recommend :D!! not overly expensive if you wanna try em. (ngl im writing this down here bc i ran out of storage space on drive and wanna put this somewhere online hahahaha)

Onigiri recipe ?? 🍙

FILLING:

can of tuna, i used the oil kind, i think theres water one as well??

mayo (main ingredient asides from the tuna)

honey mustard (didnt add too much of this, can maybe be skipped)

salt and pepper to taste (rice has no salt, hence the slightly salty filling)

some sort of spicy condiment if ya want (im a loser and dont do spicy fjdhfsd)

got a can of tuna, drained out the oil, added mayo till it stopped tasting "dry", added just a tiny bit of mustard, then some salt and pepper, filling should have decent amount of mayo but not overpower the tuna, and ever so slightly salty to compensate for lack of salt in rice

RICE

cup of sushi rice (short grain/ sticky rice yk? ) <- rinse a couple times till water runs clearer!!

cup of water (its a 50/50 rice to water ratio here, if you wanna make more add more of both!)

non edible things:

thick bottom pot with a well fitting lid

some sort of cloth

heavy bowl

wooden spoon (ig normal works too tho)

wash and drain rice a couple times (gotta remove the starch!!!). add equal parts of water and rice to a medium sized pot and turn flame on high till it starts to boil, stir occasionally (<- prevents sticking) <- no lid yet

shut off stove once it boils, wrap lid in kitchen cloth, close up the pot and place bowl over lid to add weight and prevent cloth from sliping down. (do not open back up to check on the rice!!!! we´re doing steam cooking here!!!!)

turn stove back on at lowest possible setting for 10 minutes. by the 10 minute mark DO NOT OPEN IT!!!! shut off the flame and let it steam for 10 more. once it´s done open it up and fluff it up so it releases excess steam (prevents mushiness :3)

I cannot help you on the onigiri making process hahaha, but i will say:

rice wont stick to wet hands!!

try not to overdo it with the filling. i found that spreading out a (not overly thin!!!) layer of rice on my hand, placing a bit of the filling at the center then folding the walls in towards it was the easiest way to go. if the walls arent enough to close up the ball bust grab a tiny bit more rice and patch it up 👍

scoop the filling up w the spoon and try not to get it in your hands, you need those for the rice xd

bonus: once the onigiri are fromed you can sprinkle some sesame seeds on em and set them on a pan w the tiniest bit of oil to crisp them up, rlly helps the flavour :D!!

[pbandjesse]

Today was a good day. We finally have he AC in the bedroom! I am chilling in here right now and I am very comfy. 

It was an odd day though. I felt like I was in waiting mode a lot. I didnt work on any art. I slept alright but getting up was hard. I loved my outfit today and I felt so cute. James also looked very cute and did their hair all nice. 

But it was an odd day still! I thought my meeting was at 11 but it was actually at 330. So I sort of felt like I was in waiting mood all day. It was hard to get myself to eat or do anything. 

So I started the day making hardboiled eggs. I finally have the hang of our egg cooker. I made egg salad and had it on toast. I would wander around a lot. Bother James. I played a little pokemon. I watched videos. I was directionless. 

Eventually I decided to make shortbread dough to decorate cookies for Charlotte's birthday. So I had a good time putting that together. 

Around noon I heard a knock at the door and it was Mr Will. Who looked so sad. He had a death in the family and I was just. So upset for him. I gave him a hug and told him how sorry I was. He was there to put our ac in, as well as do a few more things around the house before he went to the funeral this weekend. He is just such a kind man, and I hated seeing him in this kind of pain. But I hope that the distraction of work was good for him? I gotta hope. 

We moved the bed and I cleaned all the dust back there. He put the ac in. James was making naan in the kitchen. But would come check and help at some points. 

I tried to just let Mr Will do his thing. And we chatted a little before he left. I told him to let us know if we can do anything for him. I may make more short bread to give him too when he comes back. 

I sat on the fire escape for a while. Played on my tablet. Enjoyed the nice weather. I was in a good mood. 

And I was excited for my meeting. Which went great. I really like Emily. She had me style my first person and it went really well! She gave me some good feed back and it was fun talking through the process and what I thought this client would like. It was a good time and I will start getting like 1 or 2 a day for the next week so I am excited to get better at this new thing. 

Once my meeting was over I went and laid on the couch until James was done work. I was very weak by then. Because of the food issue. I had had some snacks but nothing great. So I was glad we were going to go get groceries once James was done. 

And it was a nice trip to the store. I got lots of quick make meals, like rice and mac and cheese. And we got fruits and ice tea. James was worried about things fitting in the fridge, which like, fair. But it was fine in the end. 

We stopped at mcdonalds to get fries to have as a snack while dinner was being cooked. And it helped me feel less shaky. And dinner was good. Indian food and James's naan bread. It was great. 

I took a shower after that. Washed my hair. I feel good, just tired. But like. In a good way. 

Tomorrow I am going to do art and post to the shop. I think Im going to try to make a m/w/f schedule for posting on there. I think that will help me stay on track with posting the plushies. I am going to do another cleaning around the apartment and try to read. And then our friend Dante is supposed to come stay the night. I am looking forward to having a friend here. 

I hope you all sleep good tonight. Take care of yourselves! 

[nowoyas]

Your 'katsudon' looks delicious,.. How did you make it,, 😍

*breaks fingers* alright recipe time bitches, gonna throw this shit under a readmore for ur dash’s sakes

ingredience:

1-2 chicken breasts (I used one cus I got a different brand from usual and these chicken breasts were THICC, u wanna make sure they’re kinda thin otherwise cut em in half or they won’t cook through properly)

rice (1 cup white uncooked is what I used)

onion (half a large yellow onion, I used two small yellow onions cus I’m an onion whore)

panko, which is japanese bread crumbs! (like 1 cup)

1 large egg, beaten

2 more large eggs, beaten, SEPARATE from the first egg

about 1/4 cup flour

salt n pepper baybeeee

grated lemon peel (if it doesn’t have lemon peel, soy sauce, or just so much sugar I didn’t cook it, but you can leave this out if you want :( )

2/3 cup dashi stock 

1 1/2 tbsp mirin (rice wine, it’s a cooking wine so you should be able to buy it even if ur not legal drinking age)

1 1/2 tbsp sake (NOT a cooking alcohol, u will need someone to buy it for u if ur underaged)

1 1/2 tbsp soy sauce

1 1/2 TEASPOONS, not tablespoons, sugar

if ur life rocks and u can find it, mitsuba which is japanese parsley. if ur life doesn’t rock and u can’t get it (Aka ur me), regular parsley works fine

oil! a flavor neutral cooking oil like canola oil or veg oil. don’t use olive oil. the amount will depend on the size of ur frying pan but we’re gonna b shallow frying this shit

resippy:

set everything out, cook ur rice ahead of time

start by slicing up your onions. what I do is cut the onion in half and then do wedges, then separate the layers and toss that into a bowl. set aside for later

I like to set up ur breading station first so u don’t gotta do it with chicken hands or wash your hands 50000 times, so set out either shallow bowls or plates with ur flour, ONE beaten egg, panko, and then one clean plate for once ur chicken’s all bready

then u wanna prep ur chicken, if ur chicken breasts are thin slicing in half once longways is fine (like chicken tenders) but if u got thicc bois first slice em in half so they’re not so thicc. u want this shit to b able to cook all the way thru because in this house we do NOT stan salmonella poisoning or any matter of food-born illnesses. I find 4 chicken tender-sized slices to b the perfect amount to fit in my pan

if u didn’t prep ur breading station ahead of time, wash ur hands and do it now. ur order is flour -> egg -> panko -> finish plate

if u prepped ur breading station first, then sprinkle salt + pepper over both sides of each chicken not-tender, maybe a lil bit of lemon peel. then, one at a time, cover each piece with flour, then dredge it in egg, and then the panko. b careful to completely cover ur chicken during each step! when it’s bready, place the chicken+seasoning+floureggpanko on the plate, rinse ur fingertips bc they’re probs gettin breaded too, and repeat until all ur chicken’s covered and breaded

get a plate and line it with 2 or 3 paper towels, have some extra on the side too, you’ll need em

now for the fun part and the reason i smell like burn ointment right now: frying!

you wanna get a shallow frying pan and pour enough oil so it’s half an inch deep in. heat it over medium heat 5-10 minutes, you want the oil to be around 350 degrees fahrenheit (176.66 celcius according to google?) but I don’t own a thermometer lmao. take a tiny piece of panko and drop it in the oil, it might sink a lil and if bubbles carry it back to the top kinda slow-ish you’ll know you’re ready to fry. u wanna make sure it’s not too cold or too hot cus too cold won’t get crispy and too hot will over-cook ur breading while ur chicken doesn’t cook all the way thru

drop one of your katsu tenders in the oil s l o w l y. if u did it right the oil probably doesn’t cover the tender all the way--that’s ok, using either tongs or something scoopy or like, long chopsticks, carefully flip it every now and then until the whole thing’s nice and golden brown. remove and set on ur paper towel plate, repeat for the rest of ur katsu tenders. I recommend one at a time so you don’t overcook any of them! it also makes em easier to flip in the oil without being a dumbass like me and having oil pop all over ur goddamn s k i n and burn u cus god knows I do that shit every time or grab fresh hot meat with my bare hands when it’s barely out of the oil

once you’re all done frying, remove ur oil from the heat and let it cool before you even THINK about cleaning that shit. get another frying pan (probs deeper than the one u fried in), toss in ur sake, mirin, dashi, sugar, soy sauce, and onions, and stir it up. heat it until it starts boiling, drop ur heat to medium, and cook it up until ur onions are all wilty. 

at this point, put ur fried up chicken in and turn the heat up to medium high. take ur other two beaten eggs and pour em over the chicken so it’s about as evenly ditributed as u can get. nice egg bath for our nice bready chicken. 

when the egg’s around half cooked (I’d give advice on what that looks like but it’s kinda somethin u gotta feel with ur heart of hearts), turn off the heat and add ur mitsuba or boring old dried parsley I GUESS and more lemon peel. probably less than i would add. I’m known for eating more lemon than is healthy.

remember your rice? I sure hope so! get some of that shit in a bowl and scoop out some chicken tendie, make sure u get onions and some of the liquid and stuff, and lay that shit on top of the rice.

take a bite and fucking ascend. holy shit. izuku was right. katsudon is so fucking good. the first time I made this shit and tried it I got some rice, meat, and onion and egg all in one bite and yelled “oh FUCK” so loud in my kitchen my roommate came out of her room and I had to let her try some. but don’t be fooled. this recipe could probably maybe serve two, potentially three if ur all small eaters. don’t share. eat all of it urself. c o n s u m e it. I highly recommend gettin a bite with everything in it, cus you’ll fucking d i e. 

izuku was so right. this shit slaps. even if it’s not technically katsudon. (I think it makes it oyakodon? but shhhh it’s katsudon if I SAY it’s katsudon) it’s just. so good. i’m a lil drunk cus the sake isn’t resealable so I’ve been drinking it but f u c k this shit’s so good. call me a kinnie but katsudon’s one of my favorite foods now too i’m lowkey crying a little it’s so fucking g o o d

[dazombi3fari3]

Hey doll hey!!! How’s your day/night going? Great I hope. I had a pretty good day … but it’s night now here in Florida and I am starting to hurt pretty badly…. I think I over did it today.

I noticed that I haven’t done any Monthly Beauty Favorites so I thought I’d start a new series for this blog… hope you like it.

Before we start I just wanted to shade with you what I made for dinner tonight! I am so proud of myself. I’ve never made Salmon on my own… I always just order it from a restaurant… but with the national quarantine and all the sit down restaurants being closed I’ve had to step out of my  comfort zone and teach myself to cook things I normally would order out! so …. here it is …

Honey lemon Salmon and garlic butter and corn white rice. This dish was so sublime that I don’t think I’ll ever order Salmon when we go out to eat again!

Not all categories will have a high end and drugstore entry. Please Note that I am not sponsored by or affiliated with any of the products or companies that I mention in this blog post. * Warning this will be a long post … just grab a snack, something to drink and settle in … I promise you wont be sorry for reading this post….. Well … Without further ado …let’s get into my April 2020 Beauty Favorites.

Favorite Beauty Store:

Beautylish has got to be my all time favorite place to shop for all things beauty!! 

I’ve been shopping at Beautylish for well over 5 years. Their customer service is of the highest quality. Their shipping rate is a flat rate of $5 on all orders (in the US it’s $5 on all orders under $35 anything above $35 is free shipping). The only downside is that they are unable to ship to P.O. boxes. They offer flex payments on orders of $100 or more where you pay a down payment and then they spread the rest of the bill over  3 to 4 payments depending how much the bill comes to. The down payment amount also depends on the amount spent… For example: I just placed an order for $102. I paid $37 as the down payment and the rest was split into 3 equal payments to be due on the 1st of each month. The due date depends on the date of purchase. I tend to pay my flex payments off faster than the allotted time, but it’s great to know I have the 3 months just in case I need them. Beautylish also ships international the the following countries: Australia, Austria, Bahrain, Belgium,Bulgaria, Canada, China, Croatia, Cyprus, Czechia, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Greece, Germany, Hong Kong, Hungary, Indonesia, Ireland, Israel, Italy, Japan, Kuwait, Latvia, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Macau, Malaysia, Malta, Netherlands, New Zealand, Norway, Philippines, Poland, Portugal, Qatar, Romania, Russia, Saudi Arabia, Singapore, Slovakia, Slovenia, South Korea, Spain, Sri Lanka, Sweden, Switzerland, Taiwan, Thailand, UAE, U.K., and U.S. Beautylish carries the following brands:

A

Aethera Beauty

Allies of Skin

Alphabet Bags

Anastasia Beverly Hills

Anna Sui

Ardell

Artis

ARTISAN&ARTIST

B

beautyblender

Beautylish Presents

BeautySoClean

BECCA Cosmetics

belif

Benefit Cosmetics

Benjabelle

Billy B

Bioderma

bkr

boscia

Briogeo

Brush Works

Bumble and bumble.

BY TERRY

C

Caudalie

Charlotte Tilbury

Chemist Confessions

CHIKUHODO

Clean Apothecary

COOLA

COVER | FX

D

Danessa Myricks Beauty

Dominique Cosmetics

Dr. Barbara Sturm

DUO

E

Eau Thermale Avène

Embryolisse

EVE LOM

Evian

F

Farmacy

G

Glamcor

Good Molecules

H

Hampton Sun

Herbalore

HoliFrog

Hourglass

I

ILIA

Indie Lee

Inglot Cosmetics

IT Cosmetics

J

Jeffree Star Cosmetics

JILL STUART Beauty

Jo Malone London

Jouer Cosmetics

JUNO & Co.

K

Kevyn Aucoin

Kjaer Weis

Klorane

Koh Gen Do

KOYUDO

L

La Mer

LASHES IN A BOX

Lilly Lashes

LINA CHOO

Lit Cosmetics

Lixirskin

Lord Jones

Lucas’ Papaw Remedies

M

MAHALO Skin Care

Make-Up Atelier

Max & Me

May Lindstrom

Mila Moursi

Miss Fame Beauty

Moon Juice

MYKITCO.

N

Natasha Denona

Naturally Serious

Nomad Noé

Nudestix

O

Omorovicza

Oribe

P

Pai Skincare

Parian Spirit

Paw Palette

Peter Thomas Roth

Q

Quintessence Paris

R

R+Co

Rae Morris

Raincry

RCMA Makeup

ReFa

Rene Furterer

rms beauty

S

SACHAJUAN

Saint Jane Beauty

Seche

Sisley-Paris

Skin Inc Supplement Bar

Skindinavia

Slip

Smith & Cult

Smith Cosmetics

Sol de Janeiro

Sonia G.

St. Tropez

Stila

Sugarpill Cosmetics

Sulwhasoo

Sunday Riley

Surratt Beauty

Susanne Kaufmann

Suwada

T

T3

Takahashi Hiroko

Taos AER

TEMPTU

The Beauty Chef

The Brush Guard

The Ordinary.

The Sacred Ritual

TOM FORD

Too Faced

TRIA Beauty

Tweezerman

U

U Beauty

Uma

UNITS

V

VDL

Velour Lashes

Vintner’s Daughter

Viseart

Vital Proteins

Vueset

W

Wayne Goss

Z

ZIIP

Z•Palette

I truly love to shop with them because the take time to package my purchases with care, it never takes more than a week to get my packages (except for now, it’s taking about 2-3 weeks because of the Corona Virus), and they have a great return policy: Their website states that their return policy is: If you are less than completely satisfied with your purchase, you may return your order within 60 days (from the delivery date) for a refund. We regret that we are unable to cover return shipping costs or refund the original shipping and duties charges unless the return was due to our error. Products must be returned in new or gently used condition. If your product arrived either damaged or defective, please contact us right away. Sets/bundles are sold as-is and products cannot be substituted, customized, and/or returned individually.

I’ve never had any issues with their services, in fact there was 1 time around 3 years ago that I ordered something from the brand It Cosmetics and the wrong item was delivered to me, I contact them straight away and they sent me out the product I had originally ordered that same day and as a way to apologize for the mistake they even allowed me to keep the product that I had received in error.

  Favorite Amazon Beauty Finds:

Pixnor 5″3″ Stainless Steel Makeup Palette with Spatula Tool $6.99 on Amazon: I am so happy I purchased this!!  I use to apply foundation to the back of my hand and then bonce my sponge off my hand … what I found is that this would cause waste of product because some of the foundation would sink into my skin and I would have to use more foundation… now I just apply a few pumps onto the palette and there is zero waste. I also love the spatula because I can use it to scrape moisturizers out of the jar without having to use my fingers. I also use the spatula to mix dew drops into my foundation and now I don’t have a big mess on my hands. 

Segbeauty 5.4oz/160ml Continuous Spray Plastic Squirt Bottle With A Fine Mist $14.99 on Amazon: This bottle is a curly hair girls dream!! It provides just the right amount of moisture without over-wetting your hair. It has a 360 degree sprayer and it’s perfect for re-wetting hair in the morning to restyle and freshen up curls. This bottle has changed my hair game for the better.

Every Drop Beauty Spatula $5.89 on Amazon. I’ve always hated the thought that there was still product in the bottom and sides of my products after I’ve run out. I started cutting plastic tubes open to get every last drop on product out but with bottles you just can’t do that. I came across this little baby when I was just browsing the beauty tools section of Amazon one day and thought OH! PERFECT!!! This spatula gets all the way to the bottom, the sides, and even the shoulders of bottles! I now have zero waste with my beauty products. I love this item so much that I have ordered it’s baby sister product the Every Drop Lip Spatula for $5.49 I ordered 2 one for lipsticks and lip glosses and one for concealers and other small wand items. This has truly helped me not waste my money by allowing me to get every last drop of product out of their containers.

Favorite Makeup Tool:

Face Halo Makeup Remover Pads: $17.60 for a 3 pack on Amazon. This little puppy is the perfect accompaniment to my vastly growing Eco-friendly arsenal. I find that I do not use as much of my Bioderma now because I am not using it to take off my makeup before I use it as my first cleanse…. 1 round is enough to completely remove all of my makeup from my face, neck, and ear lobes! You just soak it with warm water and remove your makeup… and it does remove 100% of my makeup, including lash glue! I just simply wash it after every use and it dries quickly too. I highly recommend this if you are looking for a way to reduce your carbon foot print on the planet!

Favorite Makeover Product: 

Schwarzkopf Keratin Permanent Hair Color Cream in the shade 4.6 Intense Cocoa $9.97 on Amazon (but Amazon only allows you to purchase 1 so I ordered 3 more from Walgreens.com buy 2 get 1 free for the same price). This was the first time I used this product and I’ve gotta tell ya … This has got to be the BEST boxed hair color on the market. It has Anti-Breakage Technology called K·BOND-PLEX technology (that repairs inner hair structure) and a Pre-Color Serum (that leaves your hair looking healthy and strong, with less hair breakage). It also doesn’t have that harsh hair dye smell to it. In fact my hair smelled so good that it was like I had just simply washed my hair. The conditioner it comes with left my hair so smooth and soft and fluffy. I believe they use the same technology as Olaplex does because my hair felt as if I had just done an Olaplex treatment to it. This will definitely be a product I repurchase again and again. 

Favorite Candle:

Bath and Body Works Vanilla Bean Noel 3 Wick Candle: This sadly is my last Vanilla Bean Noel candle… I purchase this scent every year at Christmas time … I stock up when they have their holiday sale and typically purchase 20 of them… it’s just the best scent ever

Favorite Body Care Item:

Nivea Essentially Enriched Body Lotion with Almond Oil $5 at Walmart for 16.9 Fluid Ounces: I use to use Bath and Body Works body creams but with my Fibromyalgia I tend to get very sensitive itchy skin and have noticed that the Bath and Body Works creams would aggravate my already sensitive skin … So on a whim I picked this up a few months ago. Firstly a little of this goes a long way. It’s very creamy and very hydrating and has a soft Almond scent to it. It sinks in quickly and doesn’t leave me body feeling greasy. I’m pleasantly surprised at how wonderful this product is.

Favorite Hair Care Item:

Olaplex No 6 Bond Smoother $28 for 3.3 fluid ounces at Sephora and No 7 Bonding Oil $28 for 1 fluid ounces at Sephora: These two products work together you add a few drops of the oil into the smoother and mix it together. I use this once about ever few days to revive my curls… since I don’t wash my hair everyday I need something to help my curls revive. I typically only wash my hair 1 time a week since I don’t put any hair products into my hair. This not only smells amazing, it leaves my hair soft and replenished and defines my curls when they start to go a bit frizzy. A little bit goes along way I only use a quarter sized amount of the smoother and about 5 drops of the oil. This is another item that has seriously upped my curly girl hair game.

Favorite Movie : (I know this isn’t beauty related, but I take my movie time to do my spa treatments … so I included it as a favorite.)

Synopsis: When Cecilia’s abusive ex takes his own life and leaves her his fortune, she suspects his death was a hoax. As a series of coincidences turn lethal, Cecilia works to prove that she is being hunted by someone nobody can see. This was a very well thought out movie with lots of twists and turns. Highly Recomend.

Favorite Spa Day Item:

Revolution Skincare x Jake-Jamie Avocado Face Mask $11 for 1.6 ounces at Ulta: This mask is amazingly moisturizing. I use it once a week and my skin feels heavenly afterwards.

Favorite Skincare Item: 

I tried a ton of skincare in the month of April and there were several things that I loved but I would have to say that my all time favorite item(s) are as follows:

My 2 whole face (including eyes) serum routine: #1. Good Molecules Super Peptide Serum $12 for 1 fluid ounce through Beautylish (it’s also sold on the Good Molecules website) and it’s function is to target fine lines, wrinkles, and dullness. #2. Good Molecules Hyaluronic Acid Serum $6 for 1 fluid ounce through Beautylish (it’s also sold on the Good Molecules website) and it’s function is to replenish your skin’s moisture by drawing moisture into the skin for deep hydration.  My skin has never looks this good since I was in my teens. Both these serums are light weight and sink into the skin quickly and you only need 1/2 a dropper for your full face and neck … I also use whatever is left on my hands to rub into my hands as sort of a treat for my hands.

La Roche-Posay Anthelios Ultra Light Face Sunscreen Fluid Broad Spectrum SPF 60: $29.99 for 1.7 fluid ounces and I purchase mine through Amazon. Ever since I starting using this sunscreen I have decluttered all other facial sunscreens. This is the perfect consistency for me. It’s light weight and hydrating. It sinks into the skin amazingly fast. It doesn’t interfere with my makeup application and it doesn’t have that sunscreen scent. BONUS: It’s a 60+ sunscreen which is the ideal level of protection for the face. 

  Favorite Face Primer: 

Tarte Timeless Smoothing Primer $39 for .5 ounces at Ulta and Sephora: I typically switch up my face primers every day or two but the one that I use everyday is this one. It just fills in my pores so well that I reach for it time and time again over all of my pore primers.

Favorite High End Foundation:

Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Foundation $44 for 1 fluid ounce through Beautylish (but can also be purchased through Sephora and the Charlotte Tilbury website). As I said in my haul of this item this is such a beautiful foundation. I just can’t stop looking at my face anytime I’m wearing it. This full coverage foundation leaves my skin looking youthful and flawless. It plays well with dew drops mixed in and plays well with any primer. I will always have this foundation in my collections.

Favorite Drug Store Foundation: 

Believe Beauty Skin Finish Foundation: $5 for .85 fluid ounces only at Dollar General Stores. This foundation surprised me I truly didn’t believe that this was going to be a good foundation, however it is a FANTASTIC foundation and is  is a medium to full coverage. This is a semi-dewy foundation. What I mean is it’s just dewy enough to give you that youthful look without being to extreme. It lasts all day and doesn’t break down. I hope they never stop making this foundation!

Favorite High End BB/CC/Tinted Moisturizer: 

Tarte Maracuja Tinted Moisturizer $29 for 1 fluid ounce of product at Ulta. This is a super dewy product but not in a greasy sort of way. It’s light coverage and sets with powder nicely. This is such a beautiful product.. so much so that I purchased a back up just in case they pull it off the shelves. I find that it’s best to apply this one with your fingers since it’s such light coverage that using a sponge with soak it all up and using a brush will leave it looking streaky.

Favorite Concealer:

NYX Born to Glow Radiant Concealer $9 for .14 fluid ounces at Ulta. This is such a beautiful concealer! It doesn’t settle into my fine lines as long as I set it straight away upon application. It doesn’t crack throughout the day. A little tiny bit is all you need. It’s full coverage without being super thick. It gives an amazing glow to the under eye that can still be seen even after you set it with powder. I’d probably go out on a limb and say this may be my favorite concealer all year.

Favorite Cream Bronzer/Contour: I wont be having 2 categories for this one… mainly because I don’t have a drug store option for this category as of yet, I have since purchased a drug store option today.

Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Contour Wand in the shade 2 Medium/Dark $38 for .41 fluid ounces purchased through Beautylish (but can be purchased at Sephora and the Charlotte Tilbury website). I can’t believe I am saying that this is my favorite!! I have loved the Chanel Soleil De Chanel cream bronzer for so long that I didn’t think anything would ever replace it! Sad to say the Chanel bronzer was discontinued and a new cream bronzer replaced it … it looks more hydrating than the one I have so I’m keen to try it however … let’s talk Hollywood Contour Wand shall we!? This is the first cream contour product I’ve ever tried (bronze to me didn’t seem as scary as cream contour did). It is easy to use, easy to blend in, and gives the skin a natural looking contour. This is a light weight very pigmented product. You don’t get much product for the price tag, however a very little goes a very long way. I use 1 squeeze ever 2 days (it’s a sponge tipped applicator so the product stays in the sponge… I just squeeze 1 time and have enough product left over on the sponge that the next day I just have to dot what remains over the perimeter of my face. Unlike the Chanel bronzer this product doesn’t disrupt my foundation underneath. I love this product so much that I place an order today for a back up. 

Favorite Matte Bronzer/Contour:

Mac Bronzing Powder in the shade matte bronze: $30 for .35 ounces of product. I’ve had this compact for probably way too long because it’s starting to get hard pan, so I scraped the hard pan off … the powder works fine. The picture of the hand on the left is without flash and the one on the right is with flash. It’s just the perfect everyday natural looking bronzer. You can’t over do it with this bronzer since it’s so light of coverage. I always love my look when I’m wearing this one.

Favorite Glowy Bronzer :

Tarte Limited Edition Park Ave Princess Waterproof Face & Body Bronzer $34 for .55 ounces of product at Ulta. I do love a good glowy bronzer and this one does not disappoint! It’s the perfect shade, has just the right amount of glow without having shimmer to it … it’s just this glow from within! I just love how my skin looks with this bronzer on.

Favorite Dewy Primer: 

Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Flawless Filter in the shade #3 Light/Medium $44 for 1.01 fluid ounces on the Beautylish website (can also be purchased from Sephora or the Charlotte Tilbury website). Ever since getting this product in I have not been able to put it down! It’s freaking amazing!!! AMAZING! It has just enough of a tint that this could be worn alone for “No Makeup” makeup days and has the perfect amount of glow without having any shimmer to it. 1 swipe per zone is all you need of this primer. It’s not sticky or greasy and it does hold foundation nicely.

Favorite Cream Highlighter: 

Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Beauty Light Wand $39 for .41 fluid ounces on the Beautylish website (can also be purchased from Sephora or the Charlotte Tilbury website). I have tried many cream highlighters and hate every single one, until this one came into my life! This highlighter is just magical! It doesn’t disrupt the foundation under neither, it melts into the skin seamlessly, and it has no glitter to it… just a natrual looking glow. The glow can still be seen even after setting it with powder! I haven’t been able to stop using it because I’m so in love with it.

Favorite High End Face Powder:

Too Faced Born This Way Ethereal Setting Powder in the shade Translucent $33 for .53 ounces of product at Ulta and Sephora. This powder has the most beautiful finish ever! It give a slight glow to the skin without looking like glitter or shimmer. This one has taken the place of my beloved Laura Mercier Loose Setting Powder in my heart. I just never want to be without it!!! It doesn’t take much of this powder to set the full face either. I tap 3 shakes into the cap and that sets my full face! It even looks amazing under the eyes.

Favorite Drug Store Face Powder:

Believe Beauty Matte Blur Loose Powder in the shade Translucent $5 for .14 ounces of product sold only at Dollar General. This is such a light weight powder that sets the face flawlessly. It is matte but doesn’t leave the face looking cakey or dry. It even looks good under the eyes. I have repurchased this 2 time since discovering it and I have 2 back ups.

Favorite High End Finishing and Touch Up Setting Powder:

Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Finish Setting Powder $45 for .28 ounces of product on the Beautylish website (can also be purchased at Sephora and on the Charlotte Tilbury website). This gives the prettiest soft focus to the face and doesn’t change the look of your makeup when you touch up with it. I find on days that I wear this one as a finishing powder I don’t have to touch up at all. I don’t quiet like this one as a setting powder, just as a finishing powder and touch up powder and sad to say I have hit pan … this is the most expensive pressed powder I own but it’s so worth it and I will definitely be repurchasing it when I’ve finished it.

Favorite Drug Store Finishing and Touch Up Setting Powder:

JCat Beauty AquaSurance Compact Foundation $13.99 for .31 ounces of product at Ulta. This is a spot on dupe for the Charlotte Tilbury Airbrush Flawless Finish Setting Powder. It’s basically a fuller coverage version and I can use it to set my set as well and I never have to touch up at all when I use this powder.

Favorite Powder Highlighter: 

Benefit Boxed Highlighter in the shade Cookie $30 for .28 ounces of product at Ulta and Sephora. OH BABY! This highlighter is so pretty and little is all you need. This is a beaming highlighter so definitely not for low maintenance makeup day but add this to your full glam look and watch out…. it’s the perfect highlighter to be noticed in.

Favorite Blush:

Tarte 12-HR Amazonian Clay Blush in the shade Captivating $29 for .2 ounce of product at Ulta and Sephora. This is the best just pinched shade I’ve ever owned. I wore it a ton in April and for good reason. It goes with everything from “No Makeup” makeup looks to full on glam looks. It lasts all day and is probably my all time favorite blush shade.

Favorite Lip Combo:

L’Oreal Rouge Signature Lightweight Matte Lip Stain ($5.99 at Ulta) in the shade 448 I-Tease (a soft taupey pink matte) a few dots of Makeup Geek Creme Stain ($11.99 on their website) in the shade Jitterbug (an intense coral matte) a touch of NARS Lip Gloss ($24 on the NARS website) in the shade Stripe Tease  (Sheer champagne nude). This makes the perfect shade for every look. I’ve worn this only for the past few days of April but I can already tell it will be worn a ton in the month of May.

Favorite Powder to Set My Under Eyes:

Laura Mercier Secret Brightening Powder $28 for .14 ounces of product at Ulta and Sephora. This just leaves the under eyes looking flawless and it sets every concealer I own except the Dermablend concealer (that concealer is just too heavy and took emollient that nothing really sets it and I would return it but I lost the uni-carton it came in so Ulta wont take it back). I wish this came in a larger jar because I just know I will be repurchasing this over and over. It gives this soft focus glow to the under eye area that isn’t shimmery or glittery … just a sort of glow from within look.

Favorite Brow Pencil:

Benefit Precisely My Brow Pencil $24 at Ulta and Sephora for .27 ounces of product. I have purchased this pencil 2 time since discovering it and I have 1 back up. This is just the most effortless brow product ever. I almost never have a bad brow day when I use this pencil. It’s a definite recommend in my book.

Favorite Brow Gel: 

Believe Beauty Eyebrow Styling Gel $4 for .2 ounces of product sold only at Dollar General. Even though it’s only got .2 ounces of product this brow gel lasts a long time. You only need 1 pass of the wand to fully set your brow. It is never crunchy and never goes flaky. The picture is of my back ups … this sucker goes fast at the store so I pick up 2 or 3 every time I go to Dollar General so I never run out. I adore this one so much that I never reach for my other brow gels.

Favorite High End Eye Shadow Palette: 

Too Faced Born This Way The Natural Nudes Eyeshadow Palette $45. It has 8 matte shades and 8 shimmer shades and you get .48 total ounces of product and is sold at Ulta and Sephora. Some of my all time favorite looks this past month have come from this palette! I just adore it so much. Too Faced really hit it out of the park with this one.

Favorite Drug Store Eye Shadow Palette: (I have 3, 1 is a bit more pricier, 1 is mid-ranged and the other is super inexpensive)

ColourPop Bare Necessities 30 Pan Eyeshadow Palette $34 on the ColourPop website. I have created so many beautiful neutral eye looks with this palette! With 30 shades I never get bored of this one.

  Believe Beauty Eyeshadow Palette  in the color story: Nearly Nude $5 only sold at Dollar General. It’s just simple an amazing palette. I was highly impressed with this one. I got a few looks out of it and it’s the perfect size for travel.

  Catrice Basic Bae Eyeshadow Palette $14.99 at Ulta. This was the first thing I ever tried from Catrice and I was super impressed! The shadows are super pigmented and blend like a dream.

Favorite Eye Liner:

Charlotte Tilbury The Classic Powder Eye Pencil in the shade Audrey $22 on the Beautylish website (but can also be purchased at Sephora and on the Charlotte Tilbury website). Now this one was a surprise to me. I hated this pencil when I first tried it…. I could never get it to work… Well I finally figured it out and I am in love. It gives such a effortless look to the eyes when I use it. This will be a repurchase when I run out.

Favorite Mascara: 

Milani Dangerous Lengths 3D Mascara regularly $9.99 nut currently on sale for $7.49 at Ulta. This is another item that surprised me but ever since I’ve been conditioning my lashes with the Jamaican Black Castor Oil my lashes have been looking so nice and combined with the mascara I just fell in love…. I can’t believe I have a favorite mascara and it’s, for the first time in years, not the L’Oreal voluminous Carbon Black!!! This just gives a nice fluffy airy look to the lashes.

Favorite Inner Corner Highlight:

Hikari Creme Pigment in the shade Honey Dew $15 on their website. I have been using this for a few years now but I just can’t seem to stay away. It just give the prettiest lilt to the inner corners.

Favorite Setting Spray: (I have 2 this month)

ColourPop Hyaluronic Acid Setting Mist $12 for 3.72 fluid ounces of product at Ulta and on the ColourPop website. This setting spray smells like the beach and leaves the skin looking dewy and healthy. It holds your makeup fairly well … I don’t really need a setting spray that will hold my makeup on until the wee hours of the morning, I just need a spray that will take down the powderiness of freshly applied makeup.  I’ve been using this bottle for 2 months and I’m almost out of it. This makes me sad because it’s sold out everywhere. I think this may just be my favorite setting spray of the year.

Belif Aqua Bomb Mist $34 for 2 2.02 fluid ounces of product on the Beautylish website (but can also be purchased at Ulta and Sephora). This one adds tons of hydration to the skin and I love it as a touch up spray too. Lately I have been using it in combination with the other setting spray just to add a bit more hydration to my under eye area. 

Favorite Find of the Year So Far: 

HonHey Portable Hand Held Rechargeable Fan. $13 on Amazon. I purchased this back in the beginning of March but it has quickly become my favorite beauty extra! It helps me dry my setting spray and lash glue. It also helps keep me cooler when the hot lights of my makeup table start to make me over heat. It has a great charge life as well. 

Well … We have reached the end dolls. Thank you ever so much for hanging in there with this post …. I know it was a long one … but this is the flagship post of this series and I thought I should be as thorough as possible with at least the first in the series… Now that’s not to say I wont have heaps of favorites in any given month, but I may just have a few favorites in other months too.

Well that’s all for now dolls. I hope you enjoy the rest of your day/night and that your spirits are high and your health is good! Remember dolls, Save a spoon for a bit of lipstick.

XOXO

April 2020 Beauty Favorites Hey doll hey!!! How's your day/night going? Great I hope. I had a pretty good day ...

[paranoid-rhythm]

Translation: Joker Game Drama CD A Parody Box Full of What-Ifs Part 3

Aaaaaand... this is it, the last track for the latest Joker Game drama CD. I had an attack of the lazies, so this is super late. I deeply apologize for that.

This might be my last (for now) shit post in this fandom. Unless they announce a continuation of this stupid series. lol jk I’ll always be lurking.

Welcome to the D-Agency restaurant. May I take your order?

Warning: Have fun...? Also, as usual, please don’t repost anywhere. Thanks! 

Part 1 - 第1話「RPG Parody~ What If Sakuma-san Became A Hero~」 Part 2 - 第2話「Zoo Parody~ What If Sakuma-san Became a Zookeeper~」

第3話「Restaurant Parody~ What If Sakuma-san Is The Part-timers’ Leader~」

 Sakuma: One gratin, one tomato pasta and two of the chef’s salad!

Fukumoto: Got it! The cheese hamburger is done!

Odagiri: #11’s dessert is also done!

Sakuma: Okay, I’ll go take it! How much time left for #5’s pizza?

Fukumoto: It needs to be in the oven for 2 more minutes, adding the prep time, it’ll be ready at around 3 minutes!

Sakuma: Okay, got it!

Odagiri: I’ll take care of the salad, so please make the gratin and the pasta.

Fukumoto: Yeah.

Sakuma: We’re really swamped today! Huh, speaking of which, where’s Kaminaga?

Odagiri: If you’re looking for Kaminaga, then he’s at a table at the back…

Sakuma: Huh?

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Kaminaga: Eh~ is that so~? Oh, hey, if it’s okay, let’s exchange LINE accounts! When you come again next time, I’ll give you a special discount~!

Sakuma: KAAAAAMIIIIIINAAAAGAAAA!!!!!

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Sakuma: It’s finally calmed down…

Fukumoto: Thanks for the hard work! I’ll start preparing the staff meal now.

Sakuma: Thanks as always, Fukumoto.

Odagiri: I’ve also finished washing the dishes.

Sakuma: Thanks! I guess it’ll be calm until the dinner time rush.

Kaminaga: Good work guys~!

Sakuma: Kaminaga! I’ve told you so many times before! There’s a lot of problems in your work ethic!

Kaminaga: Eh? Did I do something?

Sakuma: Don’t ask for the customers’ contact information! Don’t sit on the table! Idle chatter more than need is just the start of trouble! Lunch time in a family restaurant is a battlefield! Work a bit more earnestly!

Kaminaga: Ehh… no one would want to come in such strict restaurant!

Fukumoto: Though it’s true that there’s problems with Kaminaga, it’s also true that we’re really understaffed.

Odagiri: Though we somehow, barely make it work every day, but there’s gotta be a limit if there’s only 2 people in the kitchen and 2 people in the hall.

Sakuma: B-but still---…!!

Kaminaga: Why don’t you ask the manager about it though? He might actually do something about it. As the part timers’ leader, I’m sure you understand that continuing this way would eventually be bad for us.

Sakuma: W-well, you’re right. Being understaffed means our quality of service is lowered. I’ll try to talk to the manager about it. Oh, a customer. I’ll go then.

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Sakuma: Have you decided on your order?

Hatano: The fried prawn meal set and the drink bar!

Sakuma: Fried prawn meal set and drink bar, okay.

Miyoshi: The meat from this “special demi glaze hamburger”, where is it from?

Sakuma: Uh… I--… I’ll ask the chef about it!

Miyoshi: Also, if you’re just reheating stuff from cold storage, it might have additives and preservatives, so please confirm that as well.

Sakuma: We make everything from scratch, so I think there’ll be none…

Miyoshi: Hmm? Is that so?

Hatano: It’s not like the meat’s gonna be poisonous if it did have some additives. As long as it doesn’t taste weird, then wouldn’t that be fine?

Miyoshi: You ate fried prawns yesterday as well, didn’t you? If you don’t eat a more nutritionally balanced meal, your height would never improve.

Hatano: You bastard--…!!

Sakuma: S-s-sir! P-please calm down!

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Sakuma: Fukumoto, the customer from earlier praised you! He said that the hamburger was delicious!

Fukumoto: Is that so? Thank you very much!

Kaminaga: The narcissistic guy who was so concerned over preservatives?

Sakuma: Hey! Don’t talk of our customers like that!

Kaminaga: Guys like that are all about organic food and natural food, how lame!

Fukumoto: Kaminaga, those two mean the same.

(TN: Kaminaga says “organic” in English and “有機栽培 / yuuki saibai” in Japanese. 有機栽培 = organically grown food.)

Odagiri: Because of Fukumoto’s delicious cooking, our customers have steadily increased, but to the point that we’re so busy, I wonder if this is a good or a bad thing.

Kaminaga: Then why don’t we make the restaurant for reservation-only?

Odagiri: Is there such a thing as a for reservation-only family restaurant?!

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Sakuma: Welcome~! Table for one?

Amari: No, there’s one more…

Sakuma: Ah-! S-sir, I’m sorry but we don’t allow pets inside the restaurant…

Amari: Eh?! Is that so? What do we do now, Frate?

Sakuma: Ahh… you didn’t have to look so disappointed…

Kaminaga: Is anything the matter?

Sakuma: Ah, Kaminaga. This customer here would like a seat with his dog, but we can’t possibly allow them inside the dining area–…

Kaminaga: Then why don’t we set up a table outside?

Sakuma: Huh?

Kaminaga: You know, just like a terrace seat. The weather’s warm today too, so I bet it’ll be perfect outside!

Sakuma: Well, that’s–…

Amari: That sounds great!

Sakuma: Eh?!

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Fukumoto: So, it ended up like that huh?

Odagiri: Only that part looks like an outdoor cafe overseas.

Fukumoto: It’s stylish though.

Kaminaga: Also, bringing the dog along, he’s drawing in the girls.

Odagiri: By “girl” you mean, that little girl?

Sakuma: Well, the customer looks satisfied. It’s all fine then.

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Kaminaga: Thanks for waiting! Your order of beef stockpot set, a large serving of rice, and strawberry pancakes!

Tazaki: Ah, excuse me, I’m the one who ordered the strawberry pancakes.

Kaminaga: I’m sorry! I’ll fix it right away!

Jitsui: It’s alright, it’s a common occurrence, so please don’t mind it.

Kaminaga: *sighs*

Jitsui: Hm? Is something the matter?

Kaminaga: So close… if only you were a girl, I would’ve asked for your contact info!

Jitsui: Ahaha! That’s too bad, isn’t it? Though, I wouldn’t mind if you asked.

Kaminaga: I’m not interested in guys’ contact info though~

Sakuma: KAMINAGAAAAAAAA!!!

Kaminaga: Oh shit, our team leader’s super mad! Well then, please enjoy your meal!

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Sakuma: Good work today! Once you’ve finished with the closing, you guys can go home.

Fukumoto: I want to plan for the desserts that we’re going to serve next month.

Sakuma: That’s fine, but make sure you don’t go home too late, okay? Well then, I’ll go and talk to the manager about hiring new people.

Kaminaga: Good work today~!

Odagiri: Thanks for your hard work.

Kaminaga: New hires huh… what do you think?

Odagiri: We’re a special case after all, and since it’s a chain restaurant, we need to go by the HQ’s guidelines.

Fukumoto: Well, it’s not like we’re hiring a regular, we just need part timers, so I don’t think we still need the HQ’s permission for that, as long as the manager says okay.

Kaminaga: If it’s a cute girl that gets hired, then all the better~!

Odagiri: Earlier, I heard that you were flirting with a cute boy earlier. So you’re up for anything, as long as they’re cute?

Kaminaga: Huh?!

Fukumoto: Sakuma-san was talking about it, about how you don’t care which gender you’re flirting with anymore.

Kaminaga: No! No! I did talk to that guy earlier but not in that sense! It’s not like I asked for his contact info anyway!

Odagiri: There’s only the 2 of you manning the hall, so don’t make too much trouble.

Kaminaga: I get it~ I am working properly~

Odagiri: Oh yeah, weren’t planning for the menu? What are you making?

Fukumoto: I want to make desserts that use melons.

Odagiri: Melons are good.

Kaminaga: I like peaches better!

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*Sakuma knocking*

Yuuki: Enter.

Sakuma: Please excuse me. I’d like to ask for advice regarding the employees--…

Yuuki: About hiring new employees, right?

Sakuma: Ah--… yes!! As of now, the ones assigned in the kitchen are Fukumoto and Odagiri, the ones in the hall are me and Kaminaga, but truthfully speaking, our manpower is not enough, especially during the lunch time rush. I believe that if this continues, we’re going to have complaints.

Yuuki: And so, you want new workers?

Sakuma: Yes. I believe that if we add more manpower, we can serve our customers even more smoothly than how we’re doing currently.

Yuuki: Hm.

Sakuma: *There might be no hope, huh…*

Yuuki: Fine by me.

Sakuma: Eh?!

Yuuki: I’ll be in charge of interviewing new hires.

Sakuma: Is that so? Thank you very much!

Yuuki: You! What do you think is the most important thing that a part-timer must have?

Sakuma: A… a passion for work?

Yuuki: Are you stupid? Such a thing would help nothing. This is what we must look for.

Sakuma: Please excuse me. T-this is--…?! Just what in the world are these conditions!? Do part timers in a restaurant really need these skills?! I’m sure as hell that they don’t!

Yuuki: These requirements must all be met. We don’t need anyone useless, after all.

Sakuma: B-but! I think there’s no one who would clear all this conditions--…!

Yuuki: If there’s no one, then that’s the end of the story. This is good timing too. Make Kaminaga, Fukumoto and Odagiri take this test as well.

Sakuma: T-this is impossible! If they fail, please don’t fire them!

Yuuki: I’ll be the one officiating it. You just stay out of it and do your work as usual.

Sakuma: I--… I understand.

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Sakuma: General knowledge, intelligence, physical prowess, social skills. I thought that there will be no one who would pass with a complete set of all these skills, since the standards are too high. But there were eight men, no eight monsters who were able to pass the bar, one by one.

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Sakuma: So… why did it turn out this way?!

Miyoshi: Wash this plate again!

Hatano: Huuuh?! I’ve already washed it!

Miyoshi: You leave a lot of residue, Hatano.

Hatano: If you’re gonna complain, then wash it yourself!

Tazaki: Ah, ah, don’t fight!

Amari: Ah! This parfait looks good~! Is this a new creation?

Jitsui: Please don’t snitch food, Amari-san!

Amari: I won’t!

Jitsui: There’s already a previous incident, so I can’t trust you.

Tazaki: Is this dish ready to be taken to the customer?

Kaminaga: Ah. I’m the one who took their order, so I’ll take it.

Odagiri: No idle chatting!

Fukumoto: Table 10’s order is up!

Miyoshi: Hm? What’s wrong, Sakuma-san? If you need to do a number 1 or a number 2, then please go ahead.

Sakuma: I don’t need to go to the toilet! *sighs*

Normal employees would’ve been better!