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sickficideas Ā· 4 months ago
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gotta hear me out || sick Akutagawa w/ caretaker Atsushi - chapter 2 of 3
ao3! 5.1k/10.6k - please refer to the tags in the link for content + warnings!Ā sicktember 2024, day 30: past prompt (2022, day 27: sleepless night)
Atsushi tries to keep himself busy. Thereā€™s not many signs at all that Akutagawa has done anything in his home outside of his room - thereā€™s a few dishes and a pot in the sink that Atsushi decides to clean and put away, dishes far fancier than necessary, he thinks - a rice cooker and a teapot on the counter too. He thinks his next objective is going to be to get Akutagawa to eat something. Rice is probably an easy start.
The storm seems to have let up a bit. Itā€™s still raining, sky still filled to the brim with dark clouds, but he hasnā€™t heard thunder for a while. He knows that it wonā€™t continue like this, but itā€™s a nice break for now. He really hates having to listen to thunder.
He finally finds a thermometer, too. He snuck into Akutagawaā€™s bathroom through a second door, finding one buried under other medical supplies, without charged batteries, of course. At least the batteries were easier to find, and now he has a working thermometer.
He checks his own temperature, laying the thermometer under his tongue for a few seconds, to make sure itā€™s working properly. Heā€™s been told by Yosano that his temperature is higher than the average humanā€™s, closer to that of a tigerā€™s, and the thermometer reflects that. A hundred and one point one. That would be a decent fever on a normal person. He washes the thermometer and sets it on the counter beside the rice cooker.
Atsushi turns the TV in the living room after peering around for a remote. Thankfully, it was already on a very low volume. He doesnā€™t need it loud at all, he really just wants to keep track of the news. Theyā€™re actively reporting on the storm, confirming his hypothesis that it will indeed continue on through the night.
He bites his lip.
He wanders back into the kitchen, deciding heā€™ll work on the daunting task of trying to figure out how the rice cooker works. Itā€™s more difficult than it looks. Itā€™s way, way fancier than one heā€™s ever seen, and he thinks he might have to give up and opt for cooking rice in a pot, but luck is on his side, and he finds a manual.
He turns back to the island in the kitchen, opening the foldable manual to find the section that explains which buttons do what, and he catches something dark in his peripheral. Atsushi backs up, nearly hits his back against the other counter, arms defensively over his chest as he gasps.
Akutagawa just raises his eyebrows in vague confusion. Heā€™s sitting at the kitchen island on one of the bar stools, one arm crossed and his head propped on the other.
ā€œYou scared me,ā€ Atsushi says with the heavy sigh, lowering his arms and closing his eyes for a few seconds, trying to lower his heart rate. ā€œHow long have you been sitting there?ā€
ā€œNot long,ā€ Akutagawa says simply. Atsushi has no idea how he didnā€™t hear him leave his room. He doesnā€™t even really look half-asleep, his eyes just squint, bothered by the overhead light. Atsushi wanders over to the light switch to turn it off.
ā€œDo you ever have these on?ā€ Atsushi asks him, realizing a pattern from earlier.
ā€œNo,ā€ Akutagawa says. ā€œI hate having the lights on. Such a waste. I can see perfectly fine without them.ā€
ā€œMaybe youā€™re still a vampire after all,ā€ Atsushi jokes, finding the connection a little amusing.
ā€œUgh, shut up,ā€ Akutagawa grumbles, bringing his head down into his hand and pressing them against his temples. Atsushi realizes he still definitely has a headache, no wonder the lights are bothering him so much. Heā€™s slept a few hours, at the very least, Atsushi was hoping that would help. He definitely needs something in his system.
ā€œWhen was the last time you had something to eat?ā€ Atsushi asks him, folding up the manual after figuring out enough to be able to do simple things with the rice cooker.
ā€œNot sure,ā€ Akutagawa murmurs, lowering his hands back onto the counter, ā€œa couple of days ago.ā€
Atsushiā€™s eyes widen. ā€œDays?!ā€
ā€œI don't eat often. That's not abnormal,ā€ Akuatagwa huffs, like thatā€™s an easily acceptable answer.
ā€œWell, yeah. That's clear,ā€ Atsushi mumbles. Akutagawa is ridiculously thin, which heā€™s sure has something to do with his illness, but heā€™s seen him regularly refuse to eat. ā€œYou should eat every day. No wonder you're passing out all the time.ā€
Akutagawa seems taken aback by that accusation. ā€œI do not pass out all the time.ā€
ā€œI can't count the number of times I've seen you pass out on two hands, so, that's too many,ā€ Atsushi chides. Itā€™s not always for a long time, but Akutagawa clearly never has enough energy to fight regularly. Heā€™s seen him pass out, just for a few seconds, many times after using his ability for extended periods of time. ā€œAlso, you literally passed out when I got here.ā€
ā€œIā€™m sick, in case you forgot,ā€ Akutagawa grumbles.
ā€œI thought youā€™re always sick,ā€ Atsushi says, mocking how difficult he was being earlier. Akuatagwa just rolls his eyes, props his chin up on his palm and stares out the window, childishly pretending Atsushi isnā€™t there.
Atsushi opens a few cabinet drawers and doors looking for rice, surprised Akutagawa doesnā€™t try to wring his neck for going through his things, but he finally finds the rice. He takes the container out onto the counter.
ā€œHowā€™s rice sound?ā€
ā€œNauseating,ā€ he answers, still staring out the window.
ā€œOkay, well you have to eat something, Akutagawa,ā€ Atsushi tells him with a half-pout. He wishes there was some way to help his nausea without him taking medicine, because heā€™s sure any of that would make him feel terrible on a completely empty stomach.
ā€œDo as you wish,ā€ Akutagawa huffs, repeating his earlier sentiment. Maybe he's realized that Atsushi won't back down.
Atsushi takes that, and decides to continue.
Akutagawa doesn't say a word to him for at least the twenty minutes while the rice is cooking. He stays on the chair for a while, listless and staring out the window, deep in thought. Atsushi wonders what he's thinking about, or what's ever on his mind in general, but he thinks that's something he'll never find out.
He disappears behind Atsushi's back once he's turned around and scooping the rice into a bowl. He sees he's gone and sat down on the couch, his eyes now on the TV screen instead of the window. They're still covering the weather. Atsushi suspects they'll probably be doing that through the night too.
Atsushi wanders into the living room with two bowls of rice and just sits with him and watches the news for a little while. It's kind of nice - calm, quiet. Akutagawa doesn't turn it up and neither does Atsushi, so at times the raindrops against the windows are louder than the weather reporting, but Atsushi doesn't mind it. He wishes Akutagawa had some sort of rice seasoning or chazuke packets laying around, but based on what he found in his kitchen, he gets the feeling that the latter never cooks at all. He thinks eating rice plain in solidarity with Akutagawa is fine in the end.
Akutagawa eats more of the rice than Atsushi expected him to, considering he hasn't eaten or taken medicine in days due to his nausea. Maybe he had been mistaking hunger pains from not eating for nausea. Atsushi decides he'll see how it goes, and if that's really the case, maybe he can take some medicine.
He's relieved at the idea that Akutagawa might be fine after all. He just needed a few simple things, just to be taken care of for a few hours.
The weather report starts to show aerial clips of Suribachi City. Atsushi's been through there several times in his time at the Agency, being it's an area of high crime that even the mafia seems to stay out of.
He'd never thought out how horribly prone to flooding the crater-shaped slums are, but it makes perfect sense. The reporter talks about how many of its inhabitants will be found in Yokohama during the storm to avoid drowning in the floods. They have nowhere else to go.
Akutagawa takes the remote, changes the channel to the next one down and hands it to Atsushi.
ā€œChoose something else to watch,ā€ Akutagawa tells him. Atsushi takes the remote, a little surprised by the sudden demand, but the look in his eyes is strange. It's not fear, is it?
ā€œNews not good enough for you anymore?ā€ Atsushi says, testing to see if he's receptive to teasing, because even the tone of how voice is a little concerning.
ā€œAre you enjoying watching homeless children drown?ā€ he bites back. It's not quite as mean as he usually is, more defensively, and a strange comment considering nothing of the sort was shown on screen. It was simply implied.
ā€œSince when do you care about kids? You kill people,ā€ Atsushi reminds him. He's really just teasing him, but he's never seen Akutagawa interact with a child other than Kyoka, and he wasn't good to her. ā€œOr, used to.ā€
Akutagawa looks angry for a few seconds, like he's trying to figure out what to say, but it seems Atsushi's comments have left him speechless enough to decide against it. He just sighs and turns his head back towards the screen.
Atsushi thinks the entire interaction was strange. Akutagawa getting so defensive out of nowhere isn't like him. Atsushi at least knows what to avoid in conversation most of the time so he doesn't get choked out, but this time, he has no idea what set it off. Or, if he does, he doesn't know why.
He knows a lot less about Akutagawa than he thinks he does.
Akutagawa coughs into his hand a few times before he places his bowl of rice on the coffee table, chopsticks laying over the top of it, to then cough into his elbow. Atsushi gets up quickly and decides he'll get him a glass of water. He needs to start getting hydrated anyway. The dizziness and headache could certainly be lessened if it wasn't dehydrated.
Atsushi hands him a glass of water once the coughing dies down. Akutagawa is hesitant on taking it, looking like he's considering ignoring Atsushi's presence, but he gives in and takes the glass from him, only taking a few sips of it.
ā€œYou're aware my lung illness doesn't care if I'm hydrated or not,ā€ Akutagawa mumbles, ignoring Atsushi's eye contact as he stands in front of him.
Atsushi's heart sinks a little, hearing him say that.
ā€œLet me look at that wound again,ā€ Atsushi decides, not wanting to start an argument on how Akutagawa should care for himself. It's a losing battle with how unbelievably stubborn he is. He takes the glass of water and sets it behind him on the coffee table.
He leans forward over Akutagawa, who doesn't resist, pulling down the neckline of the sweatshirt to reveal the bandage. Blood has seeped through it already, but not enough to stain the sweatshirt, it looks like. He lifts a knee up onto the couch to avoid awkwardly leaning over Akutagawa, trying to inspect the wound a little more closely as he peels the bandage back.
It looks okay. Not better by any means, but cleaner at least, from Atsushi's earlier work. He thinks this should be stitched up, but it's far too old to do that now - it would only trap the infection the way it is. He thinks right now all he can do is keep it clean and covered, but once Akutagawa is feeling a little better, he needs this looked at by a professional.
He wishes he could lend Akutagawa some of his self-healing. It would make his life so much easier.
ā€œYou're too close,ā€ Akutagawa mumbles suddenly, and Atsushi realizes how close he really is.
He's almost straddling him. One knee leaned against the couch and the other propped up on the other side of Akutagawaā€™s leg, almost leaning against him. This would have been much easier to do from the other side of the couch, but he was already here.
Akutagawa doesn't do anything to push him away, but his cheeks are suddenly red.
ā€œRight - sorry,ā€ Atsushi stammers awkwardly, standing and backing up. ā€œI'll be - right back. I think I just need to change the bandage.ā€
So he does just that. He takes some supplies out from the bathroom and leaves the basket on the counter, since he'll certainly need this again later.
Atsushi just sits beside him this time, taking off the bandage as carefully as he can. Akutagawa doesn't react to much of what he's doing, aside from when he tries to clean it up. He can feel him flinch and tense up, but he doesn't make any noise - just staring forward, even though he's paying no attention to the random channel he flipped to on the TV.
Atsushi looks up every now and then, just to peer at what he can see of his eyes, and he's deep in thought about something, so much so that Atsushi is worried he'll scare him if he suddenly speaks.
He wishes he knew what Akutagawa was thinking about.
As he finishes up the bandage, he eyes Akutagawaā€™s unfinished rice. He ate a fair amount of it, but not as much as Atsushi would have liked him to.
ā€œYou need to eat more than that,ā€ Atsushi tells him after he pulls the collar of Akutagawaā€™s sweater back up over the new bandage. He thinks he'll have to change it every few hours or so.Ā 
ā€œDo you want me to vomit?ā€ Akutagawa grumbles, using the armrest of the couch to force himself up, an action that seems to be rather painful. He's sore. He hopes that doesn't mean his stomach is already hurting.
ā€œDoes that mean you feel sick?ā€ Atsushi asks him.
ā€œI wish you would leave,ā€ Akutagawa mumbles under his breath, not with any intention of hiding that sentiment from Atsushi. He thinks that's a yes, then, with how he's deflecting. His arms are crossed over his chest, very defensively, but Atsushi's at least glad to see he can stand on his own.
ā€œI don't get all your back and forth. You let me bathe you and then you want me gone,ā€ Atsushi huffs. Akutagawa has never made any sense to him. He can never tell what he's thinking or what he'll say next.
ā€œYou're only here because of Dazai, are you not?ā€ Akutagawa says, walking towards his bedroom, ā€œTell him I'm alive and go home. He doesn't care how I'm doing beyond that. As long as - I can still use my ability.ā€
Atsushi can't see his face, but he can tell by the way his tone wavers that it hurts him to say out loud, like it's something he's only recently come to terms with.
ā€œThat's not -ā€
Akutagawa slams his bedroom door behind him with the help of Rashomon, as if it's helping him prove his point.
That can't be true. Dazai isn't like that. Sure, he did ask Atsushi to make sure Akutagawa wasn't dead and really didn't say anything beyond that, but it was because he hadn't heard from him in over a week, and he wanted to make sure he was okay before the storm came in. He doesn't think Dazai would be okay with Atsushi leaving as long as Akutagawaā€™s still breathing. He still needs help, he's not okay by himself.
Surely that doesn't have anything to do with the usefulness of Akutagawaā€™s ability.
As the sky gets darker, it brings on more thunder. He thinks the storm is starting to kick things into gear, and he changes the channel to confirm his suspicions. They talk about how the worst of it will come at around three in the morning, and they're still only at eight in the evening. He shivers at the thought of having to deal with the thunder all night.
He decides to force himself back into Akutagawaā€™s bedroom.
Akutagawa's sat up against his pillows with his comforter up over his knees, reading a book, of all things. He looks a little cold. Atsushi doesn't understand how he can read the words with how dim the light on his nightstand is, even with the pair of glasses he's suddenly wearing.
Akutagawa glares at him, and Atsushi stares back, but only because he can't stop thinking about the glasses. Does he think they look cute? Stupid? He doesn't know, but he's staring, and Akutagawa doesn't like it. The way he looks at him almost make it seem like he's taking it as a challenge, like a dog would.
ā€œGlasses?ā€ Atsushi just says.
Akutagawa tilts his head, confused at first. He rolls his eyes, visibly annoyed, before lifting his book back up. ā€œI have terrible eyesight.ā€
ā€œYou do?ā€ Atsushi says. That's new. He's never realized that. Does he wear contacts? Akutagawa doesn't seem like the time for that. Maybe he only needs them to see close up. Why does he even care?
ā€œMust you always bother me? If you refuse to leave I'd rather not have to interact with you,ā€ Akutagawa grumbles. Atsushi's realized over time that when he says stuff like this it doesn't sound genuine at all. Akutagawa thinks it does, that's what he's trying to put on, but Atsushi doesn't think he wants to be alone. But Atsushi doesn't have any idea how to call him out for it.
ā€œJust shout if you need me, then,ā€ Atsushi says, feigning indifference, nonchalance, he doesn't know, he just doesn't want Akutagawa to know it doesn't bother him.
ā€œI will not,ā€ Akutagawa says in some feeble attempt to defy him, but as if immediately struck down by karma, he suddenly groans from some intense pain, painful enough to make him drop his book and wrap an arm around his middle, painful enough to catch him off guard like that.
ā€œAre you okay? Atsushi asks him, cautiously approaching the bed. ā€œIs it your stomach?ā€
Akutagawa nods with a little noise of discomfort. He has a feeling this is a result of him eating, and he's got a lot more to be concerned about if Akutagawa throws up.
ā€œPlease just - leave me be,ā€ Akutagawa groans quietly, his book already forgotten and off to the side as he doubles over, clearly in pain. Atsushi doesn't want to leave him. He is a little afraid of the backlash he'll face by ignoring him, but he thinks Akutagawa has other problems to worry about right now.
Atsushi wonders for a moment if maybe he has a heating pad somewhere that would help the pain a little bit, but Akutagawa derails any of Atsushi's mental plans to prevent him from getting sick when he gags.
Atsushi is fast enough to get the trash bin under his chin just as Akutagawa shifts to the edge of the bed, presumably to vomit on the floor to avoid the bed. He has his mouth covered and he's breathing fast and heavy, staring forward like he's too focused on avoiding throwing up to see Atsushi has the bin for him.
ā€œHere, use this,ā€ Atsushi tells him, fairly certain that whatever Akutagawa is trying to do to breathe around his nausea isn't going to work, and he's right. As soon as Akutagawa is aware of the bin, he coughs and retches, and a rush of vomit splatters into the thin bag.
It's not much at all, just a few bits of rice mixed in with saliva. Atsushi is fairly certain that there's blood there too, but he's not sure if it's a result of
his cough or how poor his health has been the past several days. He bites his lip, trying to stay as still as possible as he holds the bin.
He breathes heavy, shaky over the bin, strings of saliva caught on the sides, his lips shining from it. He spits to break them off and tucks the side piece of his hair that's facing Atsushi behind his ear. Atsushi holds his breath. That was weirdly attractive.
He groans quietly, gagging one more time over the bin, catching him off guard. Atsushi reaches over to lay a hand on his back to give him some comfort, but before he can, Akutagawa shifts himself back to the center of the bed to lie down, arms wrapped around his abdomen.
Atsushi sets the bin down on the floor, assuming he doesn't need it anymore, but he doesn't look any less nauseous.
ā€œStop looking at me like that,ā€ Akutagawa grumbles. Atsushi didn't realize that he was making a face. ā€œI'm notā€¦a stranger to this.ā€
Atsushi feels his stomach sink. He knows that. This isn't even the first time he's seen Akutagawa throw up, but seeing him in so much pain and discomfort without much of a way to help him still makes him feel awful. Atsushi really wants him to see a doctor.
ā€œI think you should -ā€
ā€œI'm fine,ā€ Akutagawa mumbles, now letting Atsushi even finish his suggestion, ā€œlet me sleep. I'll be fine.ā€
Atsushi doesn't believe him. He's still visibly nauseous. He thinks Akutagawa just wants him to leave to save him some embarrassment, but really, Atsushi has no real power over him there, as long as he's not actively throwing up right now.
Atsushi takes the comforter and shifts it around a little before laying it halfway over Akutagawa, who pulls it up closer to his shoulders. He doesn't say anything, doesn't ask Atsushi to leave or to do anything else, he just shuts his eyes and pretends he isn't there.
Atsushi supposes that's better than pushing him away.
ā€¦
Atsushi thinks it's around one in the morning when he hears Akutagawa's bathroom door shut.
He hopes for a few seconds that maybe he's just gone to use the bathroom, but the coughing and retching that follows is enough to get him off of the couch and headed that direction.
It's dark. It's probably midnight now, Akutagawa somehow slept for longer than expected, at least as far as Atsushi is aware. He left Akutagawaā€™s bedroom door open just enough for him to still hear anything, but even so, his enhanced hearing helps as a backup.
Unfortunately, though, it makes him extra sensitive to the thunder roaring overhead and the needle-like raindrops flying against the windows, too.
Atsushi sneaks into Akutagawaā€™s bedroom, peering through the first door and allowing the dim light from the living room to spill into the bedroom. Akutagawa isn't here, of course, he can still hear him coughing in the bathroom, but his sheets are strewn across the bed as a sign of a very restless sleep. The sweatpants he wore are tangled in the sheets, too.
He opens the bathroom door now, carefully, and flips on the light switch because it's far too dark for him to see anything right off the bat. Akutagawa is on his knees in front of the toilet, his forehead pressed against it for a moment before he lifts his head to hiccup, and gag unproductively into the bowl. He's just wearing the long sleeved shirt and a pair of boxers now. He must've gotten too hot and taken his sweatpants off.
ā€œI don't need you in here,ā€ Akutagawa grumbles, whipping his head to the side and attempting to glare at him, but the light is too much. He hisses through his teeth, like he didn't realize it was on to begin with, turns his head back and presses a hand up against his forehead.
ā€œDoes your head hurt?ā€ Atsushi asks, his hand on the light switch.
ā€œTurn them off,ā€ he mumbles. ā€œPlease.ā€
Atsushi shivers as thunder roars over head just as he turns off the lights, and he swears he sees the same reaction from Akutagawa, barely lit by the plug-in light near the sink.
ā€œI didn't know you knew how to say please,ā€ Atsushi teases, trying to keep his voice quiet, now that he's aware of his returned headache - if it ever even left in the first place.
ā€œLeave me alone, Weretiger. I don't need you to sit here and watch me vomit,ā€ he mumbles back, his tone weak and desperate, almost, the bite from his tone completely gone now.
Atsushi's heart sinks. He sounds miserable. He really sounds like he's in a lot of pain, and Atsushi can see it, too. He moves and sits beside him, close enough to be useful but not too much in his space, and watches him wrap an arm tight around his stomach, groaning quietly from the pain. His skin is paler than before, in a harsher contrast against the dark circles under his eyes, and there's some shine against the sweat collecting on his forehead. Heā€™s certain his fever isnā€™t any better.
ā€œYou don't wanna try taking anything for your stomach?ā€ Atsushi asks, clicking his tongue. He knows anything Akutagawa swallows will just come right back up. There's injectable medications for nausea, but he doesn't exactly have those resources in this situation. He thinks Yosano would kill him if he even attempted asking her.
ā€œThere's something I have that -ā€ he stops, his body tensing up sharply as his stomach cramps,Ā  but his mouth stays closed through grit teeth and nothing seems to come up, ā€œin the mirrorā€¦that can melt under my tongue.ā€
ā€œThe mirror?ā€ Atsushi repeats, standing up and headed for the absurdly large sink counter where the mirror, three times the size of his own at home, stands. He didn't know such a medication existed, but Akutagawa certainly would, considering how often he's sick.
ā€œJust press the corner of the left panel,ā€ Akutagawa mumbles, laying his head against the porcelain with a shiver and a defeated sigh.
Atsushi does so very gingerly, not entirely sure what that will do, but the panel pops out at an angle, like a cabinet would. He takes the corner and opens it all the way, revealing six or seven shallow shelves filled to the brim with various medications. Most of which are in prescribed amber bottles.
Atsushi's stomach twists at the sight of all of them. He doesnā€™t think that even Yosano has this many in her in-house supply. They all have his name. Akutagawa Ryuunosuke. He catches sight of various dates, ranging from a month ago to two years ago, and so many medication names he doesn't recognize. Doxycycline, Azithromycin, Prednisolone, and dozens of others, some unfinished and some empty. There's over the counter stuff in here, too - Midol, Theraflu, extra strength Tylenol, and more - some of which he's never seen before.
ā€œWhichā€¦one?ā€ Atsushi asks, overwhelmed by what he's looking at. He had incorrectly assumed it would be easy to find.
ā€œZofran,ā€ Akutagawa murmurs quietly. Atsushi can barely hear him. ā€œOrā€¦Ondansteron.ā€
Atsushi scans over his collection and finds it labeled under the second name, carefully removing it as not to knock over the others, one hand splayed out just in case they happened to fall. Heā€™s tempted to make a joke about it to lighten up how he feels seeing this collection, but he doubts Akutagawa wants to hear any of that, being this sick or not.
ā€œI need to sort through those,ā€ Akutagawa mumbles when Atsushi kneels down next to him, crossing his legs just a foot or so away as he opens the box and pulls out the silver packing. ā€œItā€™sā€¦itā€™s not as much as it seems.ā€
Weirdly enough, Akutagawa seems to be saying that to make Atsushi feel better about it. He doesnā€™t think that itā€™s true, and that makes him feel worse.
Akutagawa twists up in pain again, breathing out a pained groan as his eyes screw shut. He shifts to gag over the toilet bowl, an arm still wrapped around his abdomen, but he still canā€™t bring anything up. Atsushi doubt he has much left anyway with how little heā€™s had to eat.
Akutagawa breathes heavy over the bowl, very visibly nauseous now, having trouble focusing, it seems like. Atsushi hears more thunder, louder than before, and Akutagawa shakes at the sound of it, this time, apparently not caring much to hide that fact from him right now.
Atsushi bites his lip. He scoots a little closer and lays a hand between his shoulder blades, surprised to not see him lash out considering how much he wanted him gone.
ā€œIā€™d be surprised if you had anything left to throw up,ā€ Atsushi says with a quiet sigh.
ā€œI donā€™t think I do,ā€ Akutagawa mumbles back, ā€œthatā€™s - the problem.ā€
Atsushi tries to shift his hand a little in attempt to rub his back, give him some comfort, but he fliches at the sudden movement and Atsushi takes his hand back. Itā€™s strange, how he wonā€™t allow this despite the fact that Atsushi bathed him not too many hours ago. Maybe the fever was subduing him. Maybe heā€™s a little more with it now.
Thatā€™s good, he thinks, but it means Akutagawa is pushing him away.
Akutagawa lays down on his side in front of the toilet, slowly. almost holding his breath. He wraps both arms around his middle with a quiet groan and almost relaxes on the floor. Atsushi would rather he realx in his bed, but heā€™ll let him rest here for a moment before he makes him move.
Atsushi's pained to see how battered Akutagawaā€™s thin legs are. There's awful scars of all shapes and sizes - Atsushi can pick out several from bullets, he's able to recognize those fairly easily. Thereā€™s newer injuries, too, as new as the one on his shoulder, but none nearly as bad.
He doesnā€™t often think about the kinds of things Akutagawa has suffered through. Heā€™s sure bullet wounds are just the surface, even despite how long something like that must take to heal, and the nasty scars they leave behind. Itā€™s no wonder Akutagawaā€™s body can hold up long anymore, illness or not.
ā€œDo you wanna go ahead and take it?ā€ Atsushi asks him quietly, trying to ignore how loud his own thoughts are. ā€œYou can lay here for a little to see if it works. But I don't think you should sleep here.ā€
Akutagawa lets out a quiet, defeated groan, and reaches a hand out to take the pill from Atsushi. He watches him take it, but he canā€™t use that to ignore what heā€™s thinking.
He doesnā€™t think he could ever convince Akutagawa to leave the mafia, but heā€™s worried he wonā€™t survive through it much longer in his condition.
Why does he care, anyway?
28 notes Ā· View notes
bourbon-ontherocks Ā· 11 months ago
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20 questions for writers
I was tagged by @pia-writes-things (ty!!! ā¤ļø)
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
46!
2. What's your total AO3 word count?
703,271. Which is, um, a lot.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
Good Girls (formerly), HPI (formerly), and l'Art du Crime. There's also a random bit for les Combattantes, and one GG fic has a shared universe with Graceland. I'm very mono-fandom lol.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Take A Dip
It's All Coming Back To Me
It Hurts When I See You Struggle
Love And War
We're Living In A Powder Keg And Giving Off Sparks
Unsurprisingly, these are all GG fics, although I don't think my kudos ranking is accurate because most of these were impacted by the great kudos-bombing gate from 2020 so it's hard to tell what's actually my most kudo-ed fic.
5. Do you respond to comments?
Absolutely. My secret goal is to keep the conversation going back and forth for the longest possible time because I love the opportunity for a good ramble about my writing šŸ˜ˆ
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
I wanna say Ad vitam Ʀternam (L'art du crime)? I mean, it's literally an MCD fic, so, not that merry... Also if I remember correctly, Always lost in the sea (HPI) doesn't end on a very hopeful note either.
7. Whatā€™s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
I don't know? All of them? None? I generally tend to go for happy open endings with that extra bit of bittersweet so I really couldn't tell. But hey, maybe the ending to that thing I'm currently writing actually is the happiest of it all, because oh boy, things do get cheesy at some point šŸ„ŗ
8. Do you get hate on fics?
No at all! Unless you count that one person who commented on several chapters of whichever long GG fic I wrote just to point blank hate on Beth character lol
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Of course I do (in English only), I like my porn toxic and desperate and angsty with just the right amount of power play and mutual hatred. Basically, I write hatefuck šŸ˜‚
10. Do you write crossovers? Whatā€™s the craziest one youā€™ve written?
Not really, no... I've tried a couple of times, but I think I'm better at/more interested in mimicking existing interactions than inventing a dynamic between characters who never met canonically (and also, boy the kind of SETUP you need to justify some characters crossing paths... it's just too much work). I'm more of a cameo/easter egg kind of writer, so once in a while I'll allow a character from another fandom to pop up in a fic and say hi, but it's really a blink-and-you'll-miss-it kind of encounter.
I guess my craziest attempt would be that Crazy Ex-Girlfriend / Good Girls crossover that I never finished though, cause like, super different moods?
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Not that I'm aware of but I don't really attempt to know
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Yes! By myself lol. I once posted a fic in two languages before acknowledging it was a hell of an additional work šŸ˜­
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
Kinda? We never finished nor even posted it but at some point we shared a quite unhinged co-writing story with @whiskeyjack and @00gangfriend00 and it was a lot of fun šŸ„°
14. Whatā€™s your all time favorite ship?
You... you guys have that? You don't just live by your Ship of the Moment just to instantly forget about it and hop on the Next Ship when it shows up? I'm sorry but I don't think I have one of those.
15. Whatā€™s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
What a trap question!!! šŸ˜‚
It's All Coming Back To Me, obviously. Look, I really really want to finish it, not even for me at this point, but for the 120-something people who subscribed to it, for the faithful readers who still leave me comments every now and then hoping for closure. I know how it ends. I have it partially written. I just don't seem to know how to write for Good Girls anymore, and getting my head back into it feels like such an insurmountable load of work, I just- I'm trying, ok?
But like, if someone's interested in helping, or even writing that ending based on my notes (and getting full and proper credits for it obvi), just let me know! I'm really open to it šŸ„²
16. What are your writing strengths?
Probably dialogues? I've been told many times that my dialogues feel very close to the original, and the thing is, I write about TV shows and I have a very good ear so I think I catch quite easily the actors' voices and tones and mannerisms in my head, so every time I write down a line, I play it several times in my mind with the character's voice to determine whether they would say it like that or not. Looks like it's not working so bad.
Also I *think* I'm not too bad at stream-of-consciousness inner monologues. At least it's one of my favourite things to write so there's that.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Action scenes (that includes sex lol). Filling the gaps between the important parts. Descriptions. Setting up the scene.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Like, featuring two different languages inside the same fic, or writing in different languages? I'm not sure I've ever really written the first one? I guess I find it a bit clunky, occasionally I've written scenes that included a character whose native language wasn't the one of the fic, and I'd give them a line or two if that's relevant to the plot (for instance, if characters are lost somewhere in another country, I can add a line/dialogue in another language for comedic effect. Or it can be a way for a character to whisper something for themselves), but the logistics are quite nightmarish, you gotta either assume your audience knows the second language, or translate the lines in the author's note, or have another character translate it in a way that doesn't sound too articifial, that's really really tedious haha
19. First fandom you wrote for?
Good Girls.
20. Favorite fic youā€™ve written?
You think I know that? Out of FOURTY-SIX??? Lol. Get out.
Tagging: @sdktrs12 @joeyjoeylee if you're around @riosnecktattoo @humanbra @hemerae-ramblings @sothischickshe @asteraceae-blue
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thunderbottle Ā· 3 years ago
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Hello king, I am a new asker, i hope youā€™re doin well!
I have no name for myself yet, I will gladly be remembered as a c!/sbi!wimble sot enthusiast
For like. A While. I saw stuff about SBIVerse and thought to myself ā€œI will keep this in a tab, and one day I will read itā€
I donā€™t know why it took me about over a few weeks to read, but I am so, so glad that I binge read it in a day. Your characterisation and story telling is absolutely beautiful, and I really love the way youā€™ve set this story out.
I am biased to SBI!Wilbur, because of course I am, this is not a shock to me, so I will ramble about him only for a bit because he is my absolute beloved. (all of the characters included in the fic are so well written and designed, Iā€™ve never seen Sally designed this way and I absolutely adore her)
Wilburā€™s character is so amazing, I love the latest chapters when you really tried to show how affected he really was during the scene with Fate and the world goingā€¦yknowā€¦
ANWAY!!
His character design is so pog, I will think about his struggles constantly (and I will not ignore how he tells Absolutely No-one But Tommy) and how heā€™s developed to really, really care about Tommy, Techno and Phil. Especially having his character to be disabled and have different struggles, itā€™s something I really enjoy and absolutely love reading about :D
Thank you for creating such a beautiful story, itā€™s such an incredible read. If anyone following you hasnā€™t read it yet, they should, they wonā€™t regret it.
Ooohhh you wanna subscribe to thunderbottle on ao3 and and follow here on tumblr and you also want to subscribe and leave kudos on 4OAK and every other fic that has been written sooo badddd /lh
ghsfdgd hi tysm.. this reads like i wrote it which is VERY funny to me bc yes... sbiverse!wilbur is my little guy my pathetic soggy cat. he's awesome i'm so excited to wreck his shit for a few more chapters hgsfgdfh. also i'm excited to give him a happy ending <3
i'm really glad you enjoyed reading!!!! i'm getting closer to being like... finished with the main plot of the story which is insane. like obviously we have a lot more to go but the fact that the end is in sight is crazy
thank you as well for the free advertisement yes omg you should all totally be reading Four of a Kind by thunderbottle on ao3-
tysm anon <3333 i hope you like what i have in store!
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babbushka Ā· 5 years ago
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Blog PSA Regarding Fics
Hey guys, Iā€™ve got a little announcement to make regarding the future of my stories.Ā Iā€™ve been thinking about it for quite some time now, but from now on, all my chapter fics will be uploaded exclusively to AO3.Ā 
The sinday writing, oneshots, headcanons -- all of that will be posted here to tumblr still! Thatā€™s not going to change. But for me, the hassles of dealing with long-format multichapter fics on tumblr are just becoming too frustrating.Ā 
I know Iā€™m not the only person who does this, and this isnā€™t a new concept or anything, but I just wanted to make this announcement to let you guys know that the way things will be moving forward are as follows:Ā 
When the new chapter has been published to AO3, Iā€™ll make a post here on tumblr with the link to the chapter, complete with the chapter content warnings and the gif header so everyone knows which fic Iā€™m talkinā€™ about. Iā€™ll continue to tag those who have been asked to be tagged so theyā€™ll get notified that the chapter is up.Ā 
However Iā€™m no longer going to be posting the entirety of the chapter in a text post here. Iā€™m very sorry, itā€™s just too much hassle between tumblr hiding the post in the tag due to there being links (both for the tumblr masterlist and the ao3 redirect link), tumblr hiding all your kind comments and not allowing me to respond to them, tumblr not showing my posts in the tag for whatever reason, tumblr not giving the tagged people the notification that the post has been published, and a whole mess of other things.Ā 
For those of you who might be new to fandom, Iā€™m sure you want to know why AO3? Iā€™ve got 3 main reasons:
Better organization system. You can sort through my works and search through my entire archive with ease by using the filtering system! You can filter by pairing, by tag, by length, by completion status, among numerous other options. You donā€™t have to rely on tumblrā€™s faulty search where it only shows you half my writing, itā€™s all there neatly and easily accessible for you.Ā 
Better notification system. If you like a particular story of mine, you can subscribe to it or add it to your bookmarks, so that when a new chapter gets posted you are notified via an email. No more missing posts because tumblr didnā€™t tag you even though I put in the tag!Ā 
Better comment system. You can leave a comment and Iā€™ll actually be able to reply to you. In fact, not only will I be able to reply, but we can start wonderful comment threads together in a clear and accessible manner! Plus, you do NOT need an AO3 account to read stories, to comment, or to leave a kudos! (the ao3 equivalent to aĀ ā€˜likeā€™)Ā 
I love you guys so much, and weā€™re approaching a really significant follower milestone for this blog, and Iā€™m so grateful that anyone reads my work at all. I hope that you guys continue to read and enjoy the stories through AO3, and that you can understand why Iā€™m shifting all the chapter uploads from here on out, to my AO3 profile.Ā 
Iā€™m sending you guys all my love, please donā€™t be too upset with me over this lol, I hope everyoneā€™s doing well!Ā 
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onlyonewoman Ā· 5 years ago
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Eleven very problematic heartbeats
My Juice/Tully altenate ending AU is among the top 100 SoA fics on AO3 in terms of kudos, without any category (sexuality, warnings, content rating etc) weeded out.Ā  If this sounds like bragging then yeah, of course it is to some extent, but mostly it says more about how plenty of people are able to read stuff thatā€™s: - Non canon - Uncomfortable - Morally challenging - Problematic and toxic without loosing the moral compass! After that stupid shit happened when someone in the SoA fandom decided I was a threat to the fandom, toxic and shaming self-shippers (which I donā€™t, I just donā€™t understand the concept wich is a whole different thing than shaming) and also shipping a rapist with his victim without any context added to exactly HOW this fucked up ship set sails at all, I am so greatful for all the people who gave my story and chance and tell me how: - They KNOW how absolutely horrifying this idea would be IRL but still love it in this imaginary bubble. - They feel challenged by my portrait of Tully and pulled between the realisation of his awful actions and my background history for them. - They WANT to hate him and KNOW they should, but canā€™t, because thatā€™s how we learn empathy. My story doesnā€™t excuse or defend rapists, it only declares them humans and no monsters.Ā  My story is an AU where so much of the roots come not just from the prison stuff in SoA, but from Oz and where I deliberately try to dig into how we see a rape as more unforgivable than a murder and how we, as an audience of shows like SoA, slowly get dragged into the main characters moral compass (or lack there of) and how it completely clashes with everything a reasonable human being would think and do, yet we still root for them. Eleven Heartbeats is NOT a defence of rapists or a clear case of Stockholm Syndrome, but an exploration of what weā€™re willing to do to: 1. Survive when weā€™re not supposed to. 2. Hold on to a company we canā€™t choose when weā€™ve been sentenced to isolation. 3. Look the shame and self-hatred in the eye and let go of toxic pride in order to tell ourselves that being alive and find some happiness even at the bottom, is a natural instinct and not something we do or do not deserve. Itā€™s a moral greyscale where Juice and Tully both are forced to live with their crimes and both have the choice of die as they lived (like Jax) or keep on living without regret (like Happy) or try and scrape out the good crumbles of them that remain and let go of the toxic fuckingĀ ā€œhonor codeā€ that says death is the only way to pay for grave sins.Ā  We let Kurt Sutter drag us through 7 fucking seasons of more and more moral decay and we loved the sociopaths and psychopaths he let us close enough to get to know on the safe distance from the screen. It means a lot to me with the support and comments and kudos on Eleven Heartbeats, since you lovely readers seem to understand so well how this isnā€™t a defence of rapists or aĀ ā€œbad guy turning good with loveā€ or a black and white Stockholm Syndrome case. Neither is it a Tully/Juice canon shipping story because clearly there was no such thing as consent between them in canon. And why do I have the bad taste of bragging with my statistics for this? Well, because I want to encourage people who write highly problematic ships that as long as you KNOW what youā€™re writing and donā€™t seriously PROMOTE abuse by pretending itā€™s a form of a healthy love (yeah, E.L. James, Iā€™m looking at you!) itā€™s completely valid and okay to step into the grey zone and play around.Ā  Eleven Heartbeats is NOT a story about savingĀ ā€œthe bad guyā€ with love. Itā€™s not aĀ ā€œhe didnā€™t know any betterā€ story, itā€™s not aĀ ā€œyou can change him with loveā€ story or anĀ ā€œit wasnā€™t really rapeā€ and I really love how my readers always keep that in mind, not forgetting about or forgiving Tullyā€™s transgressions, but also not dehumanizing him for them. Iā€™m so happy that this story that some people actually madeĀ ā€œwe should erase this from the Internetā€ posts about (yeah, they wanted it to be fucking ERASED), keeps getting more readers, kudos and new people commenting and sharing their thoughts - and of course I canā€™t stress enough how absolutely crucial the support from the readers giving this a go from the very beginning has been! All the love to you and remember: exploring emotions in fics is normal and healthy and a great outlet for thoughts and ideas we donā€™t dare to share openly. It doesnā€™t mean we endorse them all, doesnā€™t mean weā€™re loosing our moral compass or our capability of separating fiction from reality. It doesnā€™t mean weā€™re promoting rapists and their victims in Stockholm Syndrome situations, but that we challenge our comfort zone while being completely clear on where the fic stops and reality begins.Ā  Thank you, every single one reading, subscribing, leaving kudos and commenting - and now also TRANSLATING!!! - Eleven Heartbeats. You make this journey to one of pure joy, despite the grave and dark content. And of course, all the gratitude in the world to the one who inspired this story: @ineedthesons and her increadible The Comforter series. Eleven Heartbeats wouldnā€™t exist without that. Also, thank you @theruneofkenaz for your support and donā€™t miss her amazingĀ Wait for meĀ story and thank you dearest GirlWhoLovesMonstersĀ for the support and equally awesome Hell Has A New Name story. And if youā€™re in a toxic relationship or suffer from PTSD or something else due to trauma like those described in this story, remember that your life is not a fanfic and that fanfics like this arenā€™t some creative excuses for an abusive partner - or parent or friend or sibling or whatever - but just a fan fic with roots in what I hope we all realise is a world that weā€™d shun if it hadnā€™t been fiction: Sons Of Anarchy.
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ao3-elle1991 Ā· 5 years ago
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elle1991ā€™s 2019 round-up!
Wow, itā€™s hard to believe the year is almost over. Itā€™s been an exciting one, so letā€™s take a look back on whatā€™s happened, and whatā€™s coming up in 2020!
The stats...
In 2019:
I wrote 3 stories
I wrote 171,836 words
25,110 of you read my stories
The fics...
Here are the stories that I wrote in 2019:
Time After TimeĀ (124,026 words) -Ā Steve Rogers, Iraq war veteran and long-time loner, feels like his life is stuck in a rut. With no family and a grand total of two friends, he spends most of his spare time alone, painting, jogging or having flashbacks of the war. Which is why when Natasha invites him to a masquerade party at a kink club, Steve throws caution to the wind and decides to give it a go. There he meets the mysterious Winter Soldier, but as things blossom between them, so does a dangerous undercurrent. Both are harbouring a big secret from the other, and the fallout could have lethal consequences...
MementoĀ (31,043Ā words) -Ā A deadly virus has decimated the world's population. The lucky ones die quickly. The unlucky ones die slowly - becoming increasingly zombie-like and aggressive. This is the post-apocalyptic world that Steve Rogers wakes up to, after a 4-month medically-induced coma at a military base - his memory gone. As food supplies run low, he and a handful of other survivors - fellow amnesiacs Bucky and Natasha, along with the mysterious Dr. Banner - are forced to leave the relative safety of the base. With their memories gone, they have only their instincts, one another, and mysterious mementos they left for themselves prior to their amnesia - objects that they hoped might one day manage to make them remember who they really are...
Dear SteveĀ (16,767 words) -Ā What if Bucky never fell from the train and was never captured or frozen by HYDRA? "Dear Steve" explores that idea, This is a series of love letters written by Bucky Barnes for Steve Rogers, starting in 1945...
Captain America Reverse Big Bang šŸŽ‰
I cannot talk about my year in fandom without mentioning my favourite fandom event,Ā @capreversebb!Ā This was my second time taking part in this event, this time solely as a pinch hitter. I was lucky enough to write for the incredible @diurnaldaysĀ / @diurnaldaysart and together we produced the art and story of Memento. A big thank you also goes toĀ @nursedarry who betaed for me at such short notice, and of course the amazing mods who ran this event and made this all possible:Ā @potofsoup2, @kajmere and @artgroves! Thank you to all of you for helping make fandom a fun and positive place, you are all super-awesome people šŸ˜€
Coming in 2020...
New year, new decade, new fics!Ā I look forward to continuing to entertain you guys in 2020 with more stories! Hereā€™s whatā€™s in the pipeline:
Dear Bucky, part II of The Stucky Letters - 17 chapters, starting immediately after the end of Dear Steve.
UNTITLED - Stucky holiday romance ā¤
Like the sound of these fics? If you want to get an email whenever I post something new, then click on my AO3 profile and become a user subscriber.
A special message for you...
And last but certainly not least, I cannot talk about 2019 without giving a huge hats-off to you guys, my readers! I love writing and would do it even without an audience, but the fact that there are thousands of you out there who read my fics makes it a million times more rewarding!
THANK YOU for your readership, your loyalty, your kudos, your comments, your love, your excitement and your enthusiasm for my stories. You make writing so much more fun, and knowing that you guys enjoy reading my works and that these stories touch your lives in some small way is such a humbling and wonderful experience.
I look forward to sharing more stories with you next year, and reading your thoughts in the comments section of AO3! And if youā€™ve been a silent lurker so farā€¦ come and say hi! Iā€™m not scary, I promise, and I love to connect with readers ā¤
All the best for 2020, folks. See you on the other side!
Lots of love,
Eli
xxx
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insfiringyou Ā· 6 years ago
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1,000 kudos on Ao3 - Thank you!
Just a think thank you to all of our followers/subscribers for getting our BTS fics and scenarios to over 1,000 kudos on archive of our own.Ā 
Our account can be found here
We made the account in light of a lot of our fics being taken down from tumblr around Christmas time (although nothing we have ever posted actually breaks the new guidelines!) Frustratingly, there is no option to have these reviewed anymore. :(Ā 
Therefore our complete masterlist (found here) links mostly to Archive.Ā 
Thank you to everyone who has ever liked/shared/commented/subscribed/re-blogged - you guys are so amazing! :) We have a lot of new content coming soon, particuarly really important Suga/Jeong-sun works and also some important Jungkook/first girlfriend stuff :) Admin N is also going to be working on some fan art soon.Ā 
P.S the new album is so amazing! Mikrokosmos and Dionysus are my favourite tracks and I got version 2 in the physical album. (picture below) (Admin N has 3 versions and managed to get Yoongiā€™s photocard in one and is now refusing to give it to myself despite Yoongi being my bias :( I believe a petition should be formed for this! :)
- Admin M
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notesintheflyleaf Ā· 7 years ago
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I got tagged by @superhappybubblesloveĀ Thanks for the tag!
1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?
Uh. If Iā€™m being honest I have an old FF.net account I never posted on and only created so I could comment and follow fics, too chicken to post anything, from like 5 years ago with the name, and it was all i could think of when I made my tumblr. Iā€™m not incredibly inventive with screen names. I donā€™t even remember what got me to use that name on FF because it was so long ago and I was too chicken to post!
2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/favorites, follows/subscriptions, visitor hits, kudos)
I only have 3 Fics out right now, so of the 3, it would be Coincidences Lead to Consequences, which was my first fic posted, the first fic I have written in over 4 years and I was so shocked by the overwhelming support I got from the fandom!!Ā 
SO appreciative for the feedback and understanding, as now, I am even scared to look at it because I am sure it is scary bad.
3. What is your FFnNet/AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?
I actually never put one up ? I guess I could do that...
4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?
Two regular, supportive commenters who make me feel like utter MUSH and give me the motivation to try harder,Ā  (you guys are amazing) Joanna and Sarah
5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?
I read probably 3-5 of them over and over.Ā 
Talk Too Much by @xaphrin
All I Ask of You and As the World Falls Down by Khirsah on AO3 , they are the same story told by the perspective of the two main characters, same events but totally different outlook- Dragon Age fandom. Great read.Ā 
All of The Wild Florida Bay,- but mostly Merry and Bright (Because I giggle and roll around in joy) by @sabraeal
And Pas de Deux -because it is written so viscerally and beautifully that my whole being wants to weep with a myriad of emotions that overwhelm me,Ā  by @superhappybubbleslove
Thereā€™s more but these are the MOST frequent ones
6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?
2 Subscriptions... I donā€™t relaly understand the the bookmark thing.Ā  I should use that stuff more.
7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?
Uh. Iā€™ve only really posted the 3 fics but i write Magical AU that I donā€™t post.. I have one right now that I am considering posting. When Iā€™m done fiddling.
8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)
2 Subscribers and 13 bookmarks HOW NICE !!! I did not know this.Ā 
9. Is there something youā€™d like to write about but are šŸ˜Ø of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)
Thereā€™s a few fandoms I wanted to contribute to, but theyā€™re so large and Iā€™ve seen people be judgey and I am scared to post in those because I am still getting into the swing of doing this.
10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.
Everything. I know I am coming from a very rudimentary level of skill where I am fueled by passion and not so much by ability. I would love SPECIFICALLY to get better at nailing tension in scenes a bit more fully, I kinda feel like those fall flat sometimes for me.Ā 
11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?
Ah. Itā€™s noncannon but definitely not a rarepair, and the stuff Iā€™ve written but not posted have also been for cannon or somewhat popular noncannon ships.
12. How many stories have you posted on FFNet/AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?
3 Haha
13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?
GOD. 7 ? 8? Some are scraps not finished others I hate and want to redo or as stated before I am scared to post.Ā 
14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?
I take notes sometimes, I guess.Ā 
15. Have you ever co-authored a story?
Nope but i think it would be very fun and it would be awesome to have someone giving me feedback before I post it!! I would love to , I think I could learn a lot and enjoy the experience!
16. How did you discover FFNet/AO3?
Google.
17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on FFNet/AO3?
Nooooo no no no. Very new. Used to be just kinda creeping on other peoples stories, dolling out kudos but scared to comment.Ā 
18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?
Nope, itā€™sĀ ā€œHey guys!ā€ orĀ ā€œMy dudes!ā€ at the beginning and end of my apologies.Ā 
19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?
Several !! I saw how open and accepting the fandom was and I wanted to be part of that!
I donā€™t want to over tag but I have several above already mentioned.
20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?
Jeeze I am a beginner and I do it for fun myself. Maybe have fun and donā€™t stress yourself too much because it should be fun?
21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?
I mostly get hit with inspiration on an outline but I miss large portions of plot so I add those as I go but I do have the biggest arcs planned.
22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?
Nothing bad, I donā€™t actually think anyone in this particular fandom would leave a bad comment? everyone is THE MOST KIND OMG
23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)
Ah. Romantic tension that leaves that burn in your soul where you are just like OMG BUT WHY NO KISS ? I struggle cause I ALSO WANT KISS
24. What story(s) are you working on now?
One calledĀ ā€œThe Door Down the Hallā€ and one like.. short couple chapter thing calledĀ ā€œCuriosity Killed the Catā€ Hopefully this one wonā€™t run away and become longer than intended like Magic In The Woods did ahah *cough*
25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?
Sometimes inspiration sparks and I have to get the planning down before I forget but I AM TRYING not to juggle too many at once. So maybe 2 small fics at once is my limit.
26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?
No but Iā€™ve been told I should so thatā€™s the plan starting next week.Ā 
27. Do you think youā€™ve improved as a writer since you first started?
I hope so !
28. What is your favorite story(s) that youā€™ve written?
I only have the 3... so. Idk, I think I like the premise of Magic in the woods best, maybe.
29. What is your least favorite story(s) that youā€™ve written?
I trash the ones I hate before they get posted. And then intentionally forget them. So. Yeah.Ā 
30. Where do you šŸ‘€ yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?
I do this for fun so I Just want to improve and continue to feel stress relief from it? 2017 was rough for me, I have a 1 year old and a 4 year old, and my dad got SO sick. So the writing was a nice personal escape when I have a little time to myself at night.Ā 
31. What is the easiest thing about writing?
Uh. Planning?
32. What is the hardest thing about writing?
Not trashing everything in editing because I end up thinking it is bad.
33. Why do you write?
Stress relief ! It has been great to have something to do with myself, thatā€™s just for me and retains my sense of identity among the other hats I wear of Mother, Wife, and Employee.
For tagging: @katcchako @fadedforyou @bouncyirwin
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velkynkarma Ā· 7 years ago
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Get to Know the Author
@bosstoaster has been tagging me all night :P
1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?
Iā€™ve had the name ā€˜Karmaā€™ for about 17 years now? I donā€™t even remember where it came from. The ā€˜Velkynā€™ got added a little over 10 years ago when I decided I wanted to get back into fic writing. But I was still in that phase where you think youā€™re supposed to ā€˜grow outā€™ of fandoms and writing fanfiction, so I didnā€™t want any of my friends to know I was doing it. I was embarrassed. It was silly. I picked a different handle, VelkynKarma, which actually means ā€˜hidden Karma.ā€™ Later I just liked the name and also got over my embarrassment for fic writing and just started using it everywhere.
2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).
No matter what statistic you look at, Routine Maintenance wins across the board by a large margin. Parasite Knight only has 1 less subscription, though, so I guess itā€™s a fair contender on subs.
3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?
Same as my tumblr icon, itā€™s one of my OCā€™s, Morrigu Lovel. He is a little smartass and I love him.
4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?
Oh for sure, thereā€™s a few lovely readers that come back every time and always have something to say. I love you guys :) And a few others that donā€™t comment on every chapter or every work, but the comments they leave are always phenomenal and make my day.
5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?
Depends on my mood, and I donā€™t necessarily read the entire fic, just the paragraphs/scenes/chapters that really stick out to me. But yeah, Iā€™ve got some favorites I return to a lot.
6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?
Oh geez. This oneā€™s hard to say since I watch stuff on AO3 and FF.net. A lot? I think a lot of those fics are dead now though.
7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?
Mmmm I donā€™t really have a tendency to stick to any particular series or AU for very long? I guess in terms of general themes Iā€™ve done zombie AUā€™s the most, between Age of Heroes for Young Justice and Road Trip to End Times for Voltron...something about zombie apocalypse scenarios just fascinates me, especially since it can be done so many different ways.
8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)
252 user subs, 444 work subs, 2039 bookmarks. I didnā€™t even know that until now, huh
9. Is there something youā€™d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)
Thereā€™s some character interactions that are such hot-button topics in the VLD fandom Iā€™m cautious about approaching them because I donā€™t want to deal with people complaining or begging for things to get escalated. Like, I love Keith and Lanceā€™s interactions in canon, but donā€™t have much fic centered around them because ship lashback is real.
10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.
Short fic. What is brevity even? I canā€™t do zines or commissions because I canā€™t figure out how to manage a damn word count.
11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?
Nope! I donā€™t write any ships at all. I just write platonic interaction. Though I guess I wouldnā€™t be adverse to a platonic ā€˜rarepairā€™ as long as I liked the charactersļæ½ļæ½ interaction potential.
12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?
So far, 25. 23 of those are Voltron, 1 is Young Justice, and 1 is Supernatural (experimenting with cross-posting on both of those last two, some fandoms are just hard to break into or not on certain sites).
13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?
Oh boy. In progress? I wanna say 3. Notes? A lot, lot more.
14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?
I jot down notes! Or email myself ideas if Iā€™m at work/out and about. Or speak them into a little portable digital tape recorder I keep next to my bed, if itā€™s the middle of the night and I have an idea, but lack dexterity to type.
15. Have you ever co-authored a story?
Not in a long, looong time.
16. How did you discover AO3?
Through TVTropes. Every time I finished a new series Iā€™d swing by to read tropes pages and see if there were any decent fic recs. At first they all went to Fanfiction.net or livejournal but, over time, this ā€˜Archiveā€™ thing kept showing up. I made an account to lurk or subscribe to things but didnā€™t actually start posting to it until at least a year later.
17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?
Moderately well known in the platonic corner of it probably assuming people know bosstoaster and I are not actually the same person lol but probably not well known outside of that. Once upon a time I was a Big Name in the One Piece fandom, but after the timeskip I fell out of the fandom and lost my pirate king throne. Thatā€™s okay, it was fun while it lasted.
18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?
No but you all are too kind
19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?
In terms of ā€˜officialā€™ authors, Brandon Sanderson is everything I ever aspire to be as a writer, and I take a lot of inspiration from that. For fic? My buddy BlackFriar was super helpful during the Young Justice era. More recently in the VLD fandom, @maychorian was big for just...getting me to stay in the fandom at all? One of her fics got me hooked and I stuck around, and then felt compelled to write, instead of just drifting off to the next interesting thing. And the Think Tank ( @bosstoaster @butteredonions @ashinan @mumblefox ) have all been huge for getting me to keep writing, between writing sprints and interesting discussions and a lot of encouragement, so thatā€™s been huge for me this past year.
20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?
At the risk of sounding like that one video...just do it. Itā€™s scary to put yourself out there, but just do it. You learn by doing. You also learn by absorbing new things around you, so read a lot and try new stuff; you never know when something completely random or a personal experience might actually add a lot to your story. And finally, write for you, first. Write the stories you want to see. Writing for comments/bookmarks/reblogs only goes so far. It means your motivation is reliant solely on people liking your work, which means you start writing for other people and not for yourself...and if reception is lackluster, it can kill your ability to finish a project, which hurts your practice at follow-through. Itā€™s a slippery slope and starts to make the whole thing a lot less fun and a lot more of a chore. Write things you want to read, and if you feel like sharing them after, other people might like them too, but itā€™s important that you like it, first.
21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?
Has to be plotted completely. If I try to wing it I meander or get hung up on trying to keep track of details. Turns into total garbage.
22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?
A few times, sure. Happens to everyone. Most often, itā€™s people begging, demanding, or insinuating that my platonic fics should include a ship, especially if the fic focuses on the interactions of two specific characters. Those are very frustrating because Iā€™m always upfront about the fic being friendship only, and there are usually a million other ship fics already out there. Leave my platonic fic alone! I usually ignore the comments, or just politely remind people itā€™s friendship only and will remain that way. In one bewildering instance in a different fandom I had somebody who had been thoroughly enjoying the fic up until the climactic battle, whereupon they were furious at how it was resolved, and took great pains to tell me just what they thought. That one stung. I had to sit on it for a few days before I worked up the nerve to respond, and chatted with a few friends over it too. In the end I realized that it was more comparable to a fan really enjoying a canon work but being mad about a sudden twist that just didnā€™t seem right to them. It happens. I thanked them for reading, explained that I disagreed with their comments but did hear them, and thanked them for their time. Best I could do.
23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)
I am straight-up incapable of romance, period. Even so far as to slide into ā€˜fakeā€™ romance (I once got prompted for fake marriage/dating and literally couldnā€™t envision how to do it? Itā€™s just so foreign to me). Or flirting. I canā€™t even identify flirting IRL. Basically anything in that general area of writing is completely out of my league. I can write intense scenes that are intimate in non-romantic, non-sexual ways, but those are really difficult for me to do too and Iā€™m constantly second-guessing myself in case itā€™s maybe too much.
24. What story(s) are you working on now?
If I told you Iā€™d have to kill you. But no, srsly, I donā€™t like to share ideas in progress until itā€™s almost done, just in case. Sometimes I share and then immediately lose interest, but Iā€™ve already raised peoplesā€™ hopes, and thatā€™s just a dick move.
25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?
Iā€™ll have outlines, or sometimes need to plan around prompts. I donā€™t usually do series, so I never really need to plan too far ahead though. Sometimes if Iā€™m plotting a crossover/AU Iā€™ll obtain the source material and read/watch/play it to start gathering notes for that fic while working on a different fic, so that by the time Iā€™m done writing the current story, the AUā€™s skeleton is plotted out and I have a place to slot in all the characters.
26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?
No. Iā€™ve gotten better habits since working with the Think Tank but I still tend to be more of a ā€˜burstā€™ writer (no activity for days or weeks, and then suddenly word vomiting 100K in a month).
27. Do you think youā€™ve improved as a writer since you first started?
By a HUGE margin
28. What is your favorite story that youā€™ve written?
Oooh, thatā€™s a toss-up between Phantasmagoria and Prince of Memory. The former because I love writing horror and itā€™s an idea Iā€™d wanted to tackle for a while. The latter because it was a personal writing challenge to myself that I honestly wasnā€™t sure was going to go over all that well, but the response was stunning, and I was quietly surprised.
29. What is your least favorite story that youā€™ve written?
Caged Bird, from a different fandom. I make it a personal rule to never delete stories that Iā€™ve posted, but ooh man, I wanted to get rid of this one really bad. I was happy when LJ gutted it. I actually donā€™t have any real dislike for any of my Voltron stuff.
30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?
Still writing because Iā€™d die if I stopped. Like a shark. But with writing.
31. What is the easiest thing about writing?
That flash of inspiration, when you get an idea and suddenly itā€™s building itself almost too fast for you to keep up. Dialogue. Action sequences.
32. What is the hardest thing about writing?
Getting started. Titles. Editing. Research. Any particularly emotional moment.
33. Why do you write?
Because fandoms are fun but I have so many questions after. ā€œWhat if X happened? What if Y was a factor? Why not Z?ā€ I try to hunt down answers to these questions in fandoms and if the fic isnā€™t already written, I write it. Also to challenge myself to do things that havenā€™t been done in the fandom yet, or to tackle things I havenā€™t tried yet.
I think everyoneā€™s been tagged already so...feel free to play if you want, I guess!
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kittyboo8015 Ā· 7 years ago
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I was tagged by my one of my favorite authors and cat @kaguneko *scratches your ears* šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•
Questions for Ao3 Writers:
1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?
My username is kittyboo98 lol So itā€™s pretty much me being unoriginal again. Kittyboo is my childhood nickname and I was going to use kittyboo97 (birth year) but it was apparently taken? I find it fascinating that there could be another kittyboo out there lol
2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos)
Iā€™m going to answer this based on my Eruri fics only because I stopped writing reader inserts over a year ago. So with that being said, Milestones has the most kudos at 43. Bookmarks are tied: Milestones and Clueless both have 5. Clueless has the most hits followed by Bad Behavior.
3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?
My Ao3 icon is my RAH Leviā€™s face XD. I love it because Iā€™m pretty sure the look of utter disgust on his face would be his response if he ever read my fanfics.
4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?
I have two I think and Iā€™m very grateful that I have any at all ļŠ
5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?
I think definitely Sugar by imawarlock (goddamnchou) I now own it in print ļŠ
Dancing in the Dark that Tanya and Zed wrote for my birthday this year (I love you guys) Ache and aisle 10 by Kaguneko. Good Southern Boys by Minxiebutt jfc hnngh Thereā€™s so many more but Iā€™d be here all night lol
6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?
Iā€™m subscribed to 20 stories and have 97 bookmarks.
7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?
Modern au, definitely.
8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)
18 subscribers 15 bookmarks.
9. Is there something youā€™d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)
Not that I can think of lol
10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.
Canonverse! I need to learn to write it. I love to read it though!
11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?
Popular because pretty much just Eruri ļŠ
12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)? 13 lol
13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?
Ummmmm like 15 ahahaha
14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?
Yes in my phone. So much rambling lol
15. Have you ever co-authored a story?
Not yet but Iā€™d like to!
16. How did you discover AO3?
Tumblr lol
17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?
Lmao not even close
18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?Nope but I love you all
19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?
Iā€™ve told this story like a million times but I met Zed about almost 3 years ago on Ao3 in the comments of a fic and shortly after Zed started writing and somehow we became friends. When I said I would like to write someday, Zed just kept telling me to ā€œDoooooooo it.ā€ So I did and I was hooked lol Thanks Zed :*
20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?
I guess write what you like and write it for yourself because you want to and never force it. Write what makes you happy ļŠ
21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?
Plot so much plot. Sometimes too much XD
22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?
I got a pretty vague condescending comment on a reader insert once (the fic was old lol) telling me that I need to write dialogue better followed by a sarcastic lesson in writing a dialogue. I just shrugged and moved on.
23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)
I am working on getting better at smut. Hopefully Iā€™ll improve over time. I need to add more details I think?
24. What story(s) are you working on now?
Still working on some prompts. (Vampires, Neetwin, Mobuhan) My freaking canon fic jfc By the New year, I plan on starting a Cop au series of one shots. I have a plot line and all.
25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)? See above XD
26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself? Impossible with school going on. 27. Do you think youā€™ve improved as a writer since you first started? I really hope soā€¦.
28. What is your favorite story that youā€™ve written?
I think Milestones and Bad Behavior because the former was my first fic and cake theif Erwin is dear to me and the latter was launched by my obsession and thirst for Officer Erwin RIP me.
29. What is your least favorite story that youā€™ve written?
I like all of my fics.
30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?
Well, Iā€™ll be writing probably during summers because Iā€™ll be teaching by then. Iā€™ll write in my cozy apartment with my future cats Erwin and Levi lol
31. What is the easiest thing about writing?
Definitely thinking of the plot.
32. What is the hardest thing about writing?
Probably getting down the ideas in writing and trying to have it go as well as it did in my head.
33. Why do you write?
To preserve my sanity. Comfort definitely. I just love writing Eruri so much ļŠ
This was pretty interesting and fun! Thanks for tagging me! šŸ’•šŸ’•šŸ’•I hope this is readable because this app is broken as Fuck.
I will tag @shippingeruri @hedera-helixwriteseruri @chuulain @tsukinoyoukai @tsukareta-levi @erurifluff Only if you want to of course! I canā€™t wait to read all of these!
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ao3-elle1991 Ā· 6 years ago
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elle1991's 2018 round-up!
Wow, it's hard to believe the year is almost over. It's been an exciting one, so let's take a look back on what's happened, and what's coming up in 2019!
The stats...
In 2018:
I wrote 9 stories
I wrote 313,591 words
88,619 of you read my stories
The fics...
Here is a full list of the stories I wrote in 2018:
Steve And Bucky's Kinky Alphabet (176,544 words) - 26 chapters of explicit porn-with-plot featuring Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Each chapter focuses on a different kink, with one chapter for every letter of the alphabet. Or: the one where JARVIS goes rogue and kidnaps the Avengers until they can sort their mental health out, and Steve and Bucky fuck a lot and fall in love.
I Like Cats, Too (10,526 words) - The Avengers are more than just a team; they are a family. When that family is torn apart by the split caused by the Sokovia Accords, Natasha regresses into herself and lapses into a prolonged period of silence. As Team Cap hide away in Wakanda under the protection of T'Challa, will anyone be able to help Natasha overcome her depression and mutism? Enter a very special cat named Midnight...
At Your Service (12,931 words) - Clint and Natasha lose a bet. For the next 24 hours, they have to dress up in matching outfits and do everything Phil Coulson says... Or: The one where Phil gets Clint and Natasha to dress up and act out some of his many, many Captain America fanboy fantasies.
Secrets (40,706 words) - Bucky Barnes is a man with a lot of secrets: he is a member of the elite Avengers squad; he is 100 years old; for 70 years, he was HYDRA's weapon, carrying out countless acts of horrific violence whilst under their control. Nevertheless, despite his dark past, he is trying to move on with his life, working hard as a SHIELD agent and even developing a relationship with Tony Stark, a fellow SHIELD agent who heads up the R&D division of the Tech department. All seems to be going well, until a security breach at SHIELD threatens to expose Bucky's past as HYDRA's secret weapon. With one SHIELD agent already murdered by the mystery thief, it is a race against time to find the individual responsible and put a stop to their sinister campaign. Just how long are Bucky's various secrets going to remain secret...?
The Adventures Of Steve Rogers, Newsboy Extraordinaire (11,161 words) - 7-year-old Steve Rogers does not have many friends. The other children in his class think of him as the weird kid who can't speak. His next-door neighbour Bucky Barnes doesn't care about Steve's Selective Mutism though. He thinks Steve is awesome and is willing to fight anyone who says otherwise. When Steve gets a part-time job as a newsboy, it triggers a chain of events that no one could have predicted. A mystery robber is targeting local businesses, putting Steve right in the firing line. Will Steve find the courage within himself to save the day - and even find his voice?
The Black Widow Ice Cream Parlour (3,746 words) - Natasha Romanoff is used to being the least celebrated, least appreciated Avenger - which is why it comes as a shock to stumble upon an ice cream parlour devoted to her whilst on holiday in an obscure corner of Italy. Or: The one where Natasha meets one of the people whose lives she has saved, and finally gets the appreciation she deserves.
Love Is Blind (14,512 words) - After a mission goes horribly wrong, Natasha Romanoff is left completely blind. Whilst SHIELD scientists desperately seek a cure, Natasha struggles to come to terms with her disability. With boyfriend Clint Barton by her side, can she come to terms with a world without sight?
Black Widow By Day, Black Kitten By Night (6,164 words) - Natasha has a kink for kitten pet play. Clint is only too happy to oblige. Or: the one where Natasha dons her cat ears, Clint ties up his pet, and hardcore, steamy sex ensues.
Time After Time (work in progress) - Steve Rogers, Iraq war veteran and long-time loner, feels like his life is stuck in a rut. With no family and a grand total of two friends, he spends most of his spare time alone, painting, jogging or having flashbacks of the war. Which is why when Natasha invites him to a masquerade party at a kink club, Steve throws caution to the wind and decides to give it a go. There he meets the mysterious Winter Soldier, but as things blossom between them, so does a dangerous undercurrent. Both are harbouring a big secret from the other, and the fallout could have lethal consequences...
Captain America Reverse Big Bang ā¤ļø
I cannot talk about 2018 without mentioning the incredible @capreversebb. It was my first ever time taking part in a fandom event and I want to thank the organisers for all their hard work because I had an amazing time! I wrote fics for two incredible artists (@massivespacewren and @ranaraeuchle) and made friends with a bunch of amazing creative people along the way. @chiyume, @velvetjinx, @whatthefoucault, @thelittleblackfox, @cryo-bucky, @buckities and so SO many more folks, my life is richer with you guys in it. Thank you for being so lovely and friendly and just fantastic human beings. You guys rock and I love you all ā¤ļø
Coming in 2019...
I look forward to continuing to entertain you guys in 2019 with more stories! Here's what's in the pipeline:
Finish writing Time After Time (Estimated completion date, based on posting one chapter per week: early May 2019)
Dear Steve (Part I of The Stucky Letters)
Dear Bucky (Part II of The Stucky Letters)
UNTITLED (A Clint Barton origin story based in my Fearless universe)
Like the sound of these fics? If you want to get an email whenever I post something new, then click on my AO3 profile and become a user subscriber.
My personal life...
2018 has been quite a special one in terms of my personal life, too.
At work, I got promoted... twice!
And the one I'm most proud of: I overcame a lifelong dental phobia! Honestly, it has been a rollercoaster journey, but now I've finally done it, I feel an incredible amount of relief and empowerment. If you're struggling with something similar, it might be useful to (1) try to identify exactly what you're afraid of, (2) try to identify what things will help to reduce that fear, and (3) just take things one little step at a time. Keep chipping away at it and, most importantly, don't give up! Good luck, with whatever it may be. You deserve to live a life without fear and if someone as once-terrified as me can do it, it is absolutely within your ability to do it too ā¤ļø
A special message for you...
And last but certainly not least, I cannot talk about 2018 without giving a huge hats-off to you guys, my readers! I love writing and would do it even without an audience, but the fact that there are thousands of you out there who read my fics makes it a million times more rewarding!
THANK YOU for your readership, your loyalty, your kudos, your comments, your love, your excitement and your enthusiasm for my stories. You make writing so much more fun, and knowing that you guys enjoy reading my works and that these stories touch your lives in some small way is just such a humbling and wonderful experience.
I look forward to sharing more stories with you next year, and reading your thoughts in the comments section of AO3! And if you've been a silent lurker so far... come and say hi! I'm not scary, I promise, and I love to connect with readers ā¤ļø
All the best for 2019, folks. See you on the other side!
Lots of love,
Eli
xxx
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kaseyskat Ā· 7 years ago
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Writing tag~
Casually pretending that @meimagino tagged me because this looked fun and technically she tagged anybody with an ao3 account which I indeed have-
I am tagging @thesameoldfairytale @ashthe7th Ā @sheldilocks and @theinsanefox
1.Ā  How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?
On AO3, my username is just a shortened version of my tumblr username. As for that, wellā€¦ I came up with ā€˜cherryfeatherā€™ years ago when I first started rping on websites. It came from the book series Warriors by Erin Hunter, where Cherryfeather was my ocā€™s name. When I started creating usernames, I tagged 101 on the end to add numbers and give my username at least some originality, andā€¦ I just havenā€™t stopped using it. Cherry is an irl nickname for me, so it works ;)
EDIT: Iā€™ve changed my url to karinathekitkat - Karina being the name Iā€™m going to change my name to at some point(hopefully soon) and kitkat being an alliteration with Karina.Ā 
2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos/)
Supernova has the most kudos at 109(followed by Sorry, Honey with 106) but And These Promises Iā€™ll Keep has the most bookmarks at 19.Ā 
3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?
I still do not have a profile icon, because I have no clue what to use. Iā€™m torn between a picture of Yuri Plisetsky or a picture of cherries. Lol.
4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?
I think the most regular commenter I have is @thesameoldfairytale because she loves my writing for whatever reason XD Besides that, I love all comments. All of them.
5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?
Ha. Hahaha. Yes. Most definitely. Umā€¦ here, lemme list them.
Tomorrowā€™s Yesterday is Always Today by Hey_Diddle_Diddle25
~Victor is a superhero, Yuuri is a supervillian, and Yuri is caught somewhere in the middle. Sharing an apartment complicates things.~
The plot of this story is amazing, everything about it is amazing. Featuring angsty backstory! Viktor and Yuri, misunderstood villain! Yuuri, and ultimate villain! Celestino.
Kingdom Locked Up by soliloqui
Iā€™m not pasting the entire summary here, but this is the fic that introduced Viktuurio to me, and omg I love it. Lilo writes Yuri so freaking well, and captures his emotions so well, I canā€™t believe this isnā€™t actually a canon manuscript. If Viktuurio isnā€™t your thing, at least read the first chapter because holy crap Iā€™m in love with this fic.
PermafrostĀ and FrostbiteĀ by StardustCoeur
Suuuper heavy fic, guys. Read with caution. Thatā€™s really all Iā€™m going to say, because Iā€™m addicted to angst and this has loads of it.
There are lots more, but those three/four are the most prominent.
6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?
I have 12 stories bookmarked, because Iā€™m good at remembering titles so I usually just search the title if I want to reread a fic, and Iā€™m not subscribed to anything because I only recently learned this was a thing. Lol.
7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?
The only AU Iā€™ve written more than once has been Hanahaki, but thatā€™s not my favorite. Iā€™m counting my The Night Is Restless(with the sounds we hear) as my favorite because Iā€™ve thought on this one the most. Itā€™s a fantasy/royalty AU featuring Otabek and Yuri, and I love it.
8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total?
8 subscriptions and 179 bookmarks. Not much compared to some authors, but Iā€™m still proud.
9. Is there something youā€™d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it?
...yeah. Iā€™m actually starting to become a bit more adventurous, butā€¦ I have two questionable stories in the makings, and depending on how those do will determine what I write about in the future.
10. Ā Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.
Oh definitely! I want to be able to write longer stuff, and I want to be able to actually finish something. When I get a new idea, I tend to abandon the previous, and itā€™s frustrating.
11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?
*glances at amount of otayuri fics she has* *glances at the one rarepair fic she has* I write popular ships more often - or, I should say I write OtaYuri more often. I would like to write more YuriYuu stuff, butā€¦
12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day(finished and unfinished)?
26 and counting!
13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?
...Iā€™m not even going to attempt to count. At least 20. Probably more around 40. As I said, I abandon a work when I get a new idea, so my ratio of finished drafts to uncompleted drafts is like 20-80 out of 100.
14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?
I write down an idea if I donā€™t have time to start the draft itself. This way Iā€™ll remember it. However, most of the time, I start writing the intro to the story and keep the idea in my head.
15. Have you ever co-authored a story?
Yes, years ago on fanfiction.net me and another author created a joint account and we worked on a story together. Itā€™s awful and in need of re-editing, but itā€™s something. @thesameoldfairytale and I have planned to co-author a story eventually, once I get the idea written downā€¦
16. How did you discover AO3?
Well, after being forced to switch to fanfiction.net mobile and hating it, I needed something else. I had used AO3 a couple of other times when needing a good story about a pair that fanfiction.net lacked, but nothing serious. Seraph of the End got me firmly hooked on AO3, and I finally made the switch entirely. Now, I only go on fanfiction.net to read updates from one author, because her Hetalia stories are amazing.
17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom on AO3?
HAHA no. I may be somewhat well-known for my angst(maybe?) but thatā€™s it. I would love to be a bit more well known, butā€¦
18. Do you have a nickname or a fandom name for your readers?
No? I donā€™t think so.
19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?
I mean, @thesameoldfairytale still is encouraging me to write. Lin is amazing, and she has so much faith in me and my abilities, and itā€™s kind of scary, actually. Other than that, Patient Harmony on fanfiction.net helped me a lot(the author I co-authored with) and there are several people on here who have helped me as well, like @phaytesworld
20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?
Donā€™t let anything stop you from writing. It doesnā€™t matter if you donā€™t think people would like it. Heck, it doesnā€™t even matter if they donā€™t. It doesnā€™t matter how others perceive your work, because itā€™s yours and not theirs. Just be you.
21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?
I normally plan out at least a couple of events. Actually, when I get an idea, I like to play it out in action - I talk to myself, pretend to be a bunch of characters, all to get a good sense of what Iā€™m doing. I donā€™t write down any plot points, but I do plan.
22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?
The only ā€œbad commentsā€ Iā€™ve gotten are people yelling at me for making them cry, soā€¦ I apologize, of course.
23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing?
Anything super lovey dovey, because Iā€™m a bit uncomfortable with it. I donā€™t do smut(although Iā€™ve insinuated it a couple of times, only briefly) and itā€™s really hard to write romance.
24. What story(s) are you working on now?
Besides my original work for nanowrimo, I have an otayuri soulmate au, an otayuri/yuriyuu/viktuuri story(aka where both Yuri and Yuuri are poly and are dating each other as well as their significant others), and the next chapter of Threads of Time. I also have another prompt for the Writers Society on the YOI Amino I need to work on, and a little something Iā€™m writing for the author of Permafrost and Frostbite. ahahaha...
25. Do you plan your next project before you finish your current ongoing story?
Obviously, although itā€™s all accidental.
26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?
No, because then my writing will be forced and come off as stiff. I write when I have the inspiration for it.
27. Do you think youā€™ve improved as a writer since you first started?
Iā€™ve been writing for as long as I can remember, so yeah.
28. What is your favorite story that youā€™ve written?
Umā€¦ I love all of my stories, but I think Plague is my favorite, simply because of the style. Itā€™s not a style I use all that often, but it really builds suspense and I love it.
29. What is your least favorite story that youā€™ve written?
Probably Runs In The Family, because itā€™s rushed and I donā€™t even believe in my own headcanon anymore lol
30. Where do you see yourself(as a writer) in 5 years?
Hopefully actually able to finish things XD By then, I hope to have written my first novel at least, maybe more.
31. What is the easiest thing about writing?
Beginnings, for me. I love using hooks to get people interested, and hey, Iā€™ve written a beginning for every single draft I have! XD
32. What is the hardest thing about writing?
Finishing. Seriously.
33. Why do you write?
I write for the satisfaction of knowing people will read my stuff and enjoy it. I write for the satisfaction of getting my own ideas and characters onto paper(metaphorically speaking) and for the rush that happens when everything is done. I write for fun. I write to explore my own creativity and imagination.
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bsinoranges Ā· 7 years ago
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In which it gets sappy
Tagged by the amazing @lethesomething!!
1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?
So uh. BS is actually short for bittersweet, but now it doubles as my in-joke for BS in whateverCourse -- hence the in. So BS in oranges.
Then itā€™s bittersweetoranges because i read this fic called bittersweet and it was damn good to me at the time. Also my favorite fruit is orange.
...Iā€™m bot good at giving names nor titles. Haha.
2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).
Hm. Overall, that would be my KuroYachi one-shot The Lights in the Sky are Stars. It was sort of my love letter to the KuroYachi ship, and so Iā€™m not entirely sure if Iā€™ll be able to add on to it.
For subscriptions that would be my still unfinished brofest piece, The Thief, the Witch, and the Fae. This one is my bid at making an interesting take on certain characters and dynamics in a dark fantasy setting. Futakuchi is the lead if only because @haruhi02 accidentally gave me his name when I asked for random characters.
3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?
A freezing link from Breath of the Wild. Well, why not? Haha. I love Link, I love Breath of the Wild, and when I resurfaced back on tumblr botw recently came out and also the free icons.
(the rest is under a cut because itā€™s long and sappy)
4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?
Well. I wonā€™t name favorites. Frequent commenters tho... theyā€™d be my friends from chat, so shoutout to @lethesomething and @haruhi02 because you guys are great.
To be fair, I donā€™t think I post frequently enough for people to keep their eyes peeled for me.
5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?
Boy, do I. Basically anything in my bookmarks are the things I regularly return to read. Quite notable, however is anything by bigspoonnoya. God. I love her work. From the HQ to the BNHA to the YOI.
6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?
I bookmark more than I subscribed. Buuuuuuuuut Iā€™m subscribed to a grand total of 4 works, and Iā€™ve bookmarked 62 fics.
7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?
Fantasy. Hands down. Thereā€™s three-ish urban ones, then thereā€™s two full-on fantasy pieces. The rest are slice-of-life.
Thereā€™s just something about fantasy that makes me really happy. It might be the freedom to make, or that I like using fantasy as a substitute for when I want to comment on current events. But usually I like writing things that are fantastical.
Someday I want to make write a slice-of-life that makes the mundane fantastical, and then vice versa. If only because itā€™s the little things that steal my heart and imagination every single time.
8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)
Four wonderful people are subscribed to me, while 12 are subscribed to my stories. For bookmarks, I have a total of 24. ^^
9. Is there something youā€™d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)
Many of my topic matter donā€™t really make much, if any, waves -- at least thatā€™s what I think. Iā€™m only afraid I canā€™t do justice to my dark/fantasy elements, because that would be a real shame.
10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.
First itā€™s definitely finishing what I start. My multichaps arenā€™t incredibly long, but I worry a lot about continuation and future chapters that it spoils writing the present one, so I hope to work on that.
Next is my exposition and narration. I can only say ā€œName smiles.ā€ so much before I think I write in a horribly stale matter.
... Does writing romance or any sort of sexual or romantic contact count? Cause, boy do I need practice.
11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?
Is YamaYachi popular? KuroYachi? Iā€™m pretty sure theyā€™re an okay and accepted ship. But in any case the rarest pair Iā€™ve written is KuroYachi, and then KamaFuta. Because those pairs need more content, and Iā€™m pretty willing to fill them.
12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?
I have 9 works in total. Five of which are completed oneshot, and the other four are unfinished multichaps. See the trend yet?
One of the finished oneshots is the longshot Nowhere in the Sea. Itā€™s the first fic I finished in my whole 17 (at the time) years of living.
Of my unfinished things, one of them is an anthology (that I should probably close since Iā€™m not planning on updating anytime soon) and then the three fantasy pieces that has a lot Worldbuildingā„¢.
13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?
H A H A.
Hm. So, I switch between Google Docs, Sublime Text 3, and OneNote. But thereā€™s a whooping 17 unwritten stories in various states of disrepair.
Iā€™m most excited for the YamaYachi one, and also the sprawling ensemble cast one. :D
14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?
I mostly keep them in my head. So they flit in and out of my memory like deadlines. On the rare occasion that Iā€™m possessed by the idea, Iā€™l have written the idea down and then some on anything I find convenient at the time (laptop, phone, or paper.)
15. Have you ever co-authored a story?
Yes. @haruhi02 was my partner for the hq fantasy fest thing. She was with me when I finished my first ever fic Nowhere in the Sea.
16. How did you discover AO3?
I was friends with this author back in FF.Net, and she had an AO3 account. Then, I branched off her fics to read the FE:A fics.
17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?
LOL. Of course not. I can say, with confidence, that I am probably obscure.
18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?
Hm...
19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?
Fun fact, the first fan fic I wrote was an unfinished novelization of the Swan Princess (Nest Family Entertainment), and then an illustrated re-telling of Barbieā€™s Princess and the Nutracker. I started seriously pursuing writing around... the grade 5, when my bully of an English teacher said I had a talent for writing. If I had any it remains to be seen. But it was my friends back on FFnet. The likes of Mafi, and Tune, and Loke. They were there for me during my baby days writing for a fandom. We werenā€™t in the same fandom, but they inspired me so much.
Also I really like Philip Pullman and J.K. Rowling and thought it would be awesome to publish and write books.
Today though, itā€™s my friends in the chat who continue to inspire me everyday.
20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?
I donā€™t think Iā€™m qualified. But if I should, itā€™d be to stay strong and welcome to addictive cycle of happiness and misery. Because thereā€™s nothing like writing that one perfect scene -- itā€™s worth all the stress and the struggle.
Also. Writing is like wine, it getā€™s better with age, but it doesnā€™t mean that you like wine.
21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?
I plot a lot. Like a lot. But I throw out a lot through the window when push comes to shove. Sometimes Iā€™ll outwrite what Iā€™ve planned or plan something new and then Iā€™ll get flung into a crisis. Haha. Fun.
22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?
The worst comment Iā€™ve had is spam on Nowhere in the Sea. I just wish I had more comments. #NoShame.
23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)
Smut. A bit of action, but action is easier than doing the sexy.
24. What story(s) are you working on now?
Iā€™m focusing all my energy on Amor Fati, which is my gift for the fantasy exchange. I need to finish that because itā€™d be sad if I didnā€™t. And, most importantly, I want to make my giftee proud.
25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?
The plan is to keep up with my plans. I have no shortage of plans. Hahaha. But I do plan on finishing up Amor Fati then finishing either Scales or The Thief, the Witch, and the Fae before moving on to other projects.
26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?
Nope. It would probably be better if I did, but acads just eats a lot of my time.
27. Do you think youā€™ve improved as a writer since you first started?
I think itā€™s arrogant to think that I did, but I guess I did. I was 13ish -- two years after fifth grade -- when I took writing more seriously... And looking back my writing style changed. ^^
28. What is your favorite story that youā€™ve written?
I love all my stories for different reasons. To be honest tho, itā€™s what I havenā€™t written and am yet to write. I love The Thief, the Witch, and the Fae for itā€™s dark and heavy atmosphere. Scales for its hesitance and its secrecy. Amor Fati for the melancholy and for its world. Nowhere in the Sea for being my first in a lot of things (but also itā€™s magic system and world gdi). Lights in the Sky are Stars for itā€™s sweet fluff. Class Pizza for its tomfoolery. So on and so forth.
As much as I have a hard time looking at my writing, I wonā€™t deny that I love them for the things that they are and could be.
29. What is your least favorite story that youā€™ve written?
... Probably my anthology? It reminds me of bad memories.
30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?
Here, still suffering but instead out of school (hopefully) and knee deep in some sort of job.
31. What is the easiest thing about writing?
The planning and the talking and the crying and the reading.
32. What is the hardest thing about writing?
The writing. Or maybe that point between the first scene and the third. Something like that.
33. Why do you write?
Why donā€™t I? Writing is me. Iā€™ve did things for the sake of reference, Iā€™ve devoted a lot of myself to writing and the idea of writing. I love it. Itā€™s an amazing way to express.
I wouldnā€™t give it up for the world.
Sooo. For tagging. @spacegaykj and @astersandstuffs and @slothesaurus if you guys donā€™t mind ^^. Feel free to ignore if you want. Thank you for the time.
Also double tagging @haruhi02 because I can.
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gilrael Ā· 7 years ago
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I was tagged by both @rolling-blunderā€‹ and @humandisasterbuckybarnesā€‹ (thanks guys!), and finally got around to doing this getting to know the author thing. I wonā€™t be tagging anyone myself because Iā€™m laaaazy
1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?
I think Iā€™ve told this story before, but basically Gilrael is the result of 11-year-old me needing a username for instant messengers and, since I was slightly obsessed with the LOTR films at the time, I put my name through an elvish name generator, it spat out ā€œGilraenā€ but I didnā€™t like the ā€œnā€ at the end and changed it to Gilrael because it sounded cooler lol
2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/subscriptions/hits/kudos).
Hits/Kudos: Close your eyes and kiss me
Bookmarks/Subscriptions: I am what I am
3. What is your AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?
Itā€™s a really old pixel art of GIR from Invader Zim that I made ages ago. I donā€™t really have a reason for using it tbh? I just kinda like it? lol
4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?
I have a bunch of regular commenters, but I donā€™t think I have a fave because I just love everyone who comments on my fic lmao
5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?
Thereā€™s some fics that I have read multiple times, but I go back to even though the chair legs are crooked by flywithturtles the most, because thereā€™s almost no content for TakiShima and I need to get my fix somehow lol (itā€™s also just a brilliant fic in general)
6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?
I have 72 bookmarks and Iā€™m subscirbed to 36 fics, tho most of them havenā€™t updated in over a year lol
7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?
Well, I have a bunch of modern fantasy stuff, though Iā€™m not very fond of the first modern fantasy AU anymore (it makes me cringe so bad >_>). Iā€™ve written about EnnoTana being Flatmates and in university two times lol
8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)
I have 44 user subscriptions and 733 bookmarks
9. Is there something youā€™d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)
Iā€™d love to continue writing my Demisexual!Yuuri fic, but itā€™s kinda getting very personal in a way that Iā€™m not necessarily comfortable with sharing because people might think Iā€™m projecting too much.
10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.
I wish I was better at keeping a consistent update schedule, but since Iā€™m always working on multiple WIPs at once that seems like it wonā€™t happen any time soon lol
11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?
I started out writing populat ships and then I got into EnnoTana which is semi-popular I guess? Not popular enough at least lol. And Iā€™ve written my fair share of rarepairs
12. How many stories have you posted on AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?
25 (only 3 are unfinished)
13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?
Thereā€™s 36 files in my fanfic folder (Iā€™m sticking with fanfic for this one because I have written a tonne of orignal stories, too lol)
14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?
Some ideas I write down, others I just keep in my head. It really depends on how invested I am in the idea lol
15. Have you ever co-authored a story?
Nope.
16. How did you discover AO3?
I was googling ReiGisa fanfic lol
17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on AO3?
Iā€™d only consider myself kinda famous with the EnnoTana crowd because apparently everyone has read I am what I am, but Iā€™m definitely not famous in the entire Haikyuu!! fandom
18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?
No
19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?
I canā€™t name one specific author. My writing is inspired by pretty much everything I have read, even the stuff I didnā€™t like, because it inspires me to do better.
20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?
Just start writing, even if itā€™s only a short little drabble, just do it. Donā€™t worry too much about getting everything right on the first try. Thatā€™s what editing is for.
21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?
It depends. Iā€™ve done both. I am what I am, for example, I only had a really vague idea what I wanted to do with, and only started plotting when I was halfway through the fic. Waiting for a miracle, however, I had plotted out from the beginning, even if IĀ  eventually threw my plotting out of the window, because Past Me doesnā€™t know what sheā€™s doing.
22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?
I canā€™t remember a single negative comment tbh lol
23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)
I have a hard time with the descriptions of what people are doing while they speak to each other? I always feel like my dialogue scenes are very static.
Another thing I have trouble with is smut, but mostly because I need to be in a really specific mood to be able to write smut that Iā€™m really satisfied with (the specific mood being the opposite of a sexy mood because Iā€™m weird)
24. What story(s) are you working on now?
Iā€™m working on an UkaTake modern fantasy AU aka Runes and spellbooks, I have unfinished KinoNari smut lying around in my fanfic folder, Iā€™m slowly chipping away at an AU in which Ennoshita is the director of a music video and Tanaka is a backup dancer, and Iā€™m always working on my original novel (aka ā€œWen der Geist Gottes treibt.../Those driven by the spirit of god...ā€).
25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?
I have so many plans all the time lmao
26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?
Not really.
27. Do you think youā€™ve improved as a writer since you first started?
As I said, I started writing in primary school, so of course Iā€™ve improved. But even going back to a couple of years ago when I started writing my first fanfic, Iā€™ve improved A LOT.
28. What is your favorite story that youā€™ve written?
I am what I am
29. What is your least favorite story that youā€™ve written?
Iā€™ve written a lot of things that were terrible, but when it comes to fanfic, the one I like the least is Black Feather (the old modern fantasy AU I mentioned earlier).
30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?
I hope that Iā€™ll finally have managed to publish my novel until then.
31. What is the easiest thing about writing?
Coming up with an idea or concept for a fic
32. What is the hardest thing about writing?
Coming up with titles and names
33. Why do you write?
Because it keeps me sane. And I mean this literally. If I force myself not to write, Iā€™ll end up depressed af. So if I ever say anything about not writing although Iā€™d like to, pls kick my ass and tell me to write anyway. My therapist will thank you.
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minthalo Ā· 8 years ago
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All of the fanfiction asks!
oh boy okay here we go
1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?
my first fic wasĀ ā€œDo you want to build a Sand Castle With Me?ā€ and I can reread it only because i rewrote it a few months ago and posted over the originalĀ 
2. Whatā€™s your most recent fic and how far do you think youā€™ve come?
my most recent fic isĀ ā€œCobrababy Nateā€ and I think iā€™ve improved a lot since the first fics iā€™ve written... at least i hope i have
3. In your opinion, whatā€™s your best fic?
my favorite fic has to beĀ ā€œMeet me by the lakeā€
4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, whatā€™s your most popular fic?
Probably my first ficĀ ā€œDo you want to build a sand castle with me?ā€
5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?
Yes!!! my favorite one isĀ ā€œYou have a nice voiceā€
6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?
Y e s and itā€™s ā€œOoh Santa Travieā€
7. Whatā€™s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?
I have this one Joncer au that iā€™ve never posted and Iā€™m in Love With but i canā€™t find the motivation to write anything lately so itā€™s just sitting in my google drive unfinished staring at me until i complete it
8. Whatā€™s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?
hmmm I have this one Brencer au that i never posted that i havenā€™t touched in Forever so probably that one, i really want to finish it
9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?
no but iā€™ve thought about it
10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?
no i usually read a bunch of fics before writing my own
11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?
Yeah, i used to take prompts off those big posts full of them, and I know there are a million more popular fics with the same idea. I usually try to let it not bother me too much
12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?
Yes, i wasnā€™t comfortable with people reading that side of my writing. Maybe one day itā€™ll change
13. Whatā€™s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?
I use proper grammar
14. Whatā€™s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?
I look for more short and sweet fics rather than long ones like i used to
15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew itā€™d be more popular?
Yup, i would write frerard fics because i knew it would get a lot of attention even though i wasnt really into that ship
16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasnā€™t receiving enough attention?
yup. I love rywalk but no one reads it so i stopped writing for that pairing
17. In your opinion, whatā€™s your most overrated fic?
ā€œHot Shirtless Plant Guyā€ its like the second fic i ever wrote and its not very good. I went back and rewrote it because it was so bad
18. Whatā€™s your most underrated fic?
literally any of my rywalk fics. they deserve better
19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?
Shit i dont know, maybe the scene inĀ ā€œDo you want to build a sand castle with meā€ where Pete wakes Mikey up and they walk around their neighborhood in the middle of the night. I like that scene
20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?
Yes i have. I posted over most of my old fics with revised versions of them because the originals were so bad. I didnā€™t change much, just fixed the Many spelling and grammar errorsĀ 
21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?
Yes!! if they have an account i always go on it to see their fics and if it is in a fandom i like iā€™ll try to read them
22. Has there ever been anyone whoā€™s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?
Y E S theres this one ficĀ ā€œFragile Capricornā€ and the author left kudos on my santa travie fic and i freaked out but also cried because thats the worst fic iā€™ve ever written but thats the one fic they read
23. Whatā€™s the nicest review youā€™ve ever gotten?
literally all my reviews are nice it makes me cry but my favorite was one onĀ ā€œPhone Callā€ and it wasĀ ā€œ THIS. this is the fic that got me into joetrick a while ago. thank u for showing me the light.ā€ it makes me so happy i can convert people to ships i like
24. Whatā€™s the meanest review youā€™ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?
Iā€™ve never gotten a mean review on my fics but i have gotten people sending me anon hate here for them, and yeah i do think that person meant for it to be insulting.
25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?
ā€œPlease update faster!!ā€ I know they mean well but writing is hard
26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?
that I write well at all because I have a million doubts in my head that my fics are shit
27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?
single fandom fics
28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?
probably bandom
29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? Whatā€™s the biggest discrepancy?
I like to think so but alot of these fics are amazing and Im just like,, basic
30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after youā€™ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?
I jump between fandoms for a while before stopping and moving on, its usually a slow change
31. Whoā€™s the one character youā€™ve just never managed to get perfectly right?
Mikey way tbh
32. Whoā€™s the one character who shines without you even trying?
literally none of them theyre all so hard to write
33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?
not really
34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?
Yes my first Joetrick fic is one of my most popular fics and I didnā€™t expect that at all, I never realized how popular that ship is
35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?
surprisingly no, all my ships are planned out
36. Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic?
Yes. I hate ryden and i put it in my first fic for the sole purpose to break them up in a horrible way
37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?
Yes. I hate ryden and i put them inĀ ā€œDo you want to build a sand castle with me?ā€ only to break them up
38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?
yes. I write in sad things because i know itll make readers sad
39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?
My ao3 stats say I have 16 people subscribed to my account but i have a hard time believing that many people like my fics that much
40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?
No. I have major writers block (and also depression) so i never have motivation to write fics even though i really want to, i never feel like i put out enough fics
41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?
I dont cross post but my favorite site is ao3
42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?
most popular fic isĀ ā€œDo you want to build a sand castle with me?ā€ and it has 1,922 hits on ao3Ā 
43. Your least popular?
Least popular fic isĀ ā€œWhat could have beenā€ and it has 56 hits on ao3
44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?
I think so. I kudos every fic i read
45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?
romance definitely Ā 
46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?
Not really i write pretty basic stuff
47. If someone you know in real life who isnā€™t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?
depends who they are but mostly yes, I would probably give them eitherĀ ā€œmeet me by the lakeā€ orĀ ā€œDo you want to build a sand castle with me?ā€
48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?
Yes all my friends know I write fanfiction. Itā€™s not really something Iā€™m ashamed of, and they usually think its less weird after I tell them I dont write porn
49. Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it?
Yes!! My friend Veronica reads all my fics because I wrote them!! she barley even know the fandoms I write for
50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say itā€™s entirely positive?
Yes it has had a big impact on my life, and I say its mostly positive. Iā€™ve met some of my best friends because of writing fanfiction and that means the world to me
You can find all of my fics on ao3 Here!!
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