paranoid-rhythm

[paranoid-rhythm]

Sorry to ask this out of blue but does yua kouji have a daughter? The kid Kanako Mitsuhashi, yusa san's ex wife post on twitter, is that his kid?

Heya anon,

Sorry, I don't really check here anymore so ksksks

Anywayyyy, the daughter seems too young to be her and Yusa Kouji's daughter, given that they've divorced in 2012, buuuuuuuut they've never announced anything formally so I guess we'd just better get our noses out of their business 😅

[paranoid-rhythm]

Beyond Tomorrow - King of the Cavern, Monte Cristo Valentine's Scenario Translation

Putting this here too, just so I can have a copy somewhere else other than reddit.... TL under the cut, ehe~

Guda: ..................

Guda: The staff and all the other Servants are here, but―...

Guda: It looks like he's not here.

Guda: He's not here.

Guda: Or here.

Guda: He's not here either.

Guda: Not here either.

Guda: And not here as well.

Guda: I wonder just where he is...

Guda: ..................

Guda: Huh?

Guda: There's something on my desk,

Guda: A pack of cigarettes?

Guda: Ah, there's a note here too!

Edmond (if Gudako): Lift up your face. There's no need for tears. Sometimes, it's good to drag out a bit of tobacco smoke.

Edmond (if Gudao): Chin up. And don't sigh either. A man should exhale tobacco smoke instead.

Guda: ――――――――――

Guda: Yeah...

Guda: I've definitely received them, King of the Cavern.

Guda: I guess this is a challenge for me, when I become an adult, huh―

........................

Cagliostro: And so, in the end, you still didn't meet with her majesty?

Edmond: There's no need...

Cagliostro: Is that the truth?

Edmond: You're being importunate.

Edmond: It would do you best if you made yourself scarce before I unsheath my sword, my archenemy, Cagliostro.

Edmond: No matter how you hide or mend it, your soul will never forget how the flame lord's arm

Edmond: And black flames incinerated that soul of yours.

Cagliostro: But of course. However, I do not mean to provoke you or any of the sort, but... Fufu...

Cagliostro: Very well, if you say as much, then I shall drop the topic altogether.

Cagliostro: I shall speak of it no more.

Edmond: As you should.

Cagliostro: Only I, you hear?

Edmond: !

Cagliostro:��However, yes, what about her?

Cagliostro: According to the information I have received in secret, you have sent her majesty heavily tar infused, paper-rolled cigarettes!

Cagliostro: Aah, that truly! Would be a risk to the Master's health!

Edmond: You bastard―!

Nightingale: (In any case, for all of you) It's time for treatment!

Edmond: Mercede―... No, Nightingale! Stop!

Edmond: Though even if I say that, you're not the type of woman to stop anyway.

Edmond:** Farewell.

Cagliostro: Hahahahahahahahahahaha! This truly is something!

Cagliostro: Oh... Dear me, it seems like the nurse over there is looking right at me as well.

Cagliostro: Could it be that I am considered as another factor that is harmful to Her Majesty's health?

Cagliostro: Very well, then I shall take my leave as well. Do excuse me, mademoiselle.

Nightingale: .........

........................

Guda: ..................

Guda: Well, for now...

Guda: I have to talk to him directly.

Guda: I should absolutely meet him even once, before the day ends.

Guda: Maybe I should ask Nightingale for help!

Guda: Or maybe I'll ask Abby?

Guda: Alright, it's decided then!

Beyond Tomorrow

A return gift from the King of the Cavern, the Count of Monte Cristo.

The Heroic Spirit who once manifested under the name of The King of the Cavern smoked all types of cigarettes that can be lit by fire. He was particularly fond of cigarettes rolled in paper, and thin cigars.

Of all the cigarettes, this one was his favorite. A limited edition re-issue of a brand that went out of production in 1999. He found it by chance in a resource warehouse at the Chaldea base... In a corner of a luxury goods container.

When a certain white-haired Ruler asked him if he liked the taste, all he said was:

"Who knows."

[paranoid-rhythm]

A Gap In Between Battles - Richard I Valentine Scenario Translation

Putting this here too, just so I can have a copy somewhere else other than reddit.... TL under the cut, ehe~

Narrator (Xu Fu): Promotion Film: The Lionheart King, Richard I

Narrator (Xu Fu): Produced in Cooperation with "If you have a lion's heart, then you have a direct current heart," Edison.

Narrator (Xu Fu): Narrated by "Lady Yu is my Summer!" Xu Fu.

............................

Narrator (Xu Fu): Do you know what it means to have a lion's heart?!

Narrator (Xu Fu): The fangs of a beast that devours the darkness! The roar of a lion that defies fate!!!

Narrator (Xu Fu): And who has such an unyielding heart?

Narrator (Xu Fu): Yes, that's right! It's the Lionheart King, Richard I!

Narrator (Xu Fu): Even though he was the king, he lead the charge on the battlefield, and was said to personally crush the enemy general's head with a battle ax!

Narrator (Xu Fu): You're questioning if a proper war have been fought under the command of such a king? (Somehow) It happened! (Seriously) It did happen!

Narrator (Xu Fu): Robin Hood's ally? A wielder of Excalibur? A descendant of Melusine?

Narrator (Xu Fu): Was it all just fantasy? Or is this the truth that will reveal the real history?!

Narrator (Xu Fu): The legendary Lionheart now walks through Chaldea. And now, the battlefield is... Yes!

Narrator (Xu Fu): VALENTINE'S DAY!!!

............................

Richard: And so....!

Richard: I'm here! To give! My return gift!

Guda: Calm down, Lionheart!

Guda: I haven't even given you anything yet!!!

Richard: What this? So you're one to get hung up over such small details, huh, Master!

Richard: Whether I received chocolates or not, that's not a big deal.

Guda: Of course it's important!

Guda: Or are you a picky king after all, Your Majesty?

Richard: Hehehe... Come to think of it, this is the first time that we've had a proper conversation, aside from when I was summoned. Hooray for Valentine's day!

Richard: I heard that it's something of a modern festival, so I couldn't just stay still!

Richard: So it's better to act quickly! I don't really care whether I receive chocolates or not!

Richard: In any case, it'll just become a funny story about a fool who got ahead of himself anyway!

Guda: You're really just going at it at your own pace, huh?

Guda: Instead of a funny story, it's actually more like a scary story though...

Richard: Alright, then let's head out! Since I have a feeling that the simulator will be a very busy place today!

Guda: You're just like an arrow shot out at full force!

Guda: It's exactly that side of you, Your Majesty!

............................

Richard: Ooh, this simulator thingy sure is impressive! This feel of being in a city, even the smell of the wind is very life-like!

Guda: Huh? Did you change clothes?

Guda: So you remember that feeling well?

Richard: Well, those clothes would stand out too much here.

Richard: Had that outfit been easy to recreate, I would've tried to make it popular here...

Richard: Anyway, if the simulator can truly emulate that day... Then our destination should be a little way ahead from here...

Richard: Ah, there it is!

Guda: That...?

Guda: A knight corps?

Richard: Ah, quiet down! Quiet down!

Richard: This person will be accompanying me, so make sure to protect them with all your might! Also, you are not to talk about any of this...

Richard: In any case, all you just keep mum and follow me!

Richard: Alright, let's head out! Somehow, I'm feeling very excited!

Guda: (Well, we're inside the simulator so I think it'll be fine, but...)

Guda: (Am I... Being dragged out into a battlefield?)

............................

Richard: Finally, we've arrived! Looks like all the preparations are all completed.

Richard: I think we've arrived much earlier than I actually did back then but... I'm surprised, I wonder how long have they been waiting?

Narration: As Richard dismounted, a person who seemed to be the leader of the opposing group appeared and exchanged friendly greetings with him. After a short while, both group brought forth fruits, luxurious carpets, jewels, and other items, which they then gifted each other with.

Guda: Is this a place to barter?

Guda: In any case, it doesn't seem to be a battlefield.

Knight: .........

Citizen: ........

Guda: Though it seems like...

Guda: There's this tension in between some people...

............................

Guda: .........

Guda: I wonder if... I can be alone with him for now?

Richard: I've made you wait, Master. Then, as promisedー...

Guda: This is the consequence of a reverse cause and effect!

Guda: I'll have you eat this chocolate!!!

Richard: Wha-?!

Richard: Gahhh!!!

Richard: You got meeee...! Ugh...! (tumbles down)

(Knights appear to arrest Guda.)

Guda: It became something troublesome...

Richard: Ah, stop, stop! Don't draw out your swords! This person just wanted to give me a gift!

Richard: It's just one of my usual jests! Don't mind it and just let it go! Throw it out into the Gironde River!

Richard: However, it's my fault for making you worry! The blame should fall on me! Forgive me!

Richard: Good grief. Sorry about that, Master.

Richard: But that really surprised me. I never thought that I, who prides myself on my speed, would fall behind you!

Guda: In the first place, chocolates are meant to be given first.

Guda: Besides, I already received flowers here, so...

Richard: Ah, it's my loss, my loss. As expected of the Master, you're quite used to this kind of exchanges, huh?

Richard: But, that was cutting it close.

Richard: Look, it's about to begin.

............................

Narration: There was a female singer, playing a musical instrument. Though the people there were from different backgrounds and countries, they all listed to her in unison.

............................

Guda: (Got captivated listening to the music)

Guda: What a wonderful song...

Richard: That's true.

Richard: I wanted... To let you hear this melody.

Richard: And to show you this scenery.

............................

Richard: That was amazing! It never gets old no matter how many times I hear it.

Richard: I was completely overwhelmed by it too, when I first heard it when I was alive.

Richard: Both allies and enemies alike were all listening to it with the same expression on their faces, right?

Guda: Yeah, the lingering tension in the air disappeared...

Guda: Wait a minute, enemies?

Richard: Yeah, we're still in the middle of a war after all, so they're still our enemies. The person we're negotiating with on the other side is both a friend and an enemy.

Richard: This gathering today... Is for a ceasefire negotiation with a certain army.

Richard: In a previous negotiation, I made an unreasonable demand to the other side, saying that I wanted to hear what their music was like.

Richard: Even though some factions apparently forbid playing music.

Richard: However... They still responded to my request.

Richard: Even though it was after the fact that I've robbed them of thousands of lives.

Guda: ......

Richard: Both sides have let a lot of blood flow.

Richard: Nevertheless, we still believed that we can reach a sort of compromise so we all gathered here today.

Richard: Even though I am bathed in blood, they still reached out to me.

Richard: Even if it's impossible for us to walk the same path, we can still prevent each other from staining the road ahead of us with blood.

Richard: Though a lot of grudges and bitterness will remain forever...

Richard: Just hearing that music, we can...

Richard: Whoa there, it's become quite the depressing conversation. Forget all of that just now, remember only the music and wonderful scenery.

Guda: King Lionheart, could it be that from the start...

Guda: It wasn't really about giving a return gift for the chocolates, but...

Guda: You just wanted to bring me here?

Richard: You're just overestimating it, Master.

Richard: I just didn't know what expression I should make should I receive chocolates.

Richard: I didn't really think that I would actually be given chocolates, so for a moment, I wondered if I really deserved to receive them.

Richard: After all, I am a man who was always chastised by the Church. And my siblings always told me that I had no common sense as a human being.

Richard: And even with all of that, I was a man who did nothing but wage wars.

Richard: However, all of my uncertainties were blown away by that performance earlier.

Richard: Good grief, I brought you here so you could have fun. What use would it be if I'm the only enjoying.

Guda: It was fun!

Guda: I also had fun giving chocolates.

Richard: Haha! Is that so, then we're in the same boat!

Richard: Now then, since we're already here, why not try the foodー...

Richard: Hm? What is it?

Richard (to the mob): What is it? Is there something you want to ask me about? (Gets dragged away by the mob)

............................

Guda: Hey, wait a minute, King Lionheart?

Guda: What are you guys talking about?

Richard: They were asking me about you. They thought that you're one of my close aides, so I'm just explaining things to them.

Richard: So I told them that you're the person who is worth dedicating my chivalry and my life to. The Master of Chaldea who holds the fate of the world in their hands!

Guda: They all look so confused!

Guda: What have you done to the simulator NPCs?!

Richard: Well, though I did instruct my men to keep silent about you, I couldn't possibly enforce that to the other party.

Richard: Alright, it's troublesome to explain more about Chaldea so I'll be borrowing this camel!

Richard: I thank you all for today's performance and negotiations! I will leave the rest for you to handle, my knights!

............................

Guda: That was too reckless!

Guda: Seriously, it's that side of you...!

Richard: Oh right! Since we're already here, how about we go and meet my wife Berengaria, or my sister Joan?

Guda: .........

Guda: Seriously, it's that side of you, you know, King Richard the Lionheart?

Richard: They'll surely be surprised if I introduce you as my Master, to whom I've dedicated my chivalry to, and when I turn into Spiritron form in front of them!

Richard: That sounds fun, right, Master?!

Guda: IT'S THAT SIDE OF YOU!!!

............................

Richard: Heeeey~! Master?

Richard: Guess you've fallen asleep, huh? So you're someone who can fall asleep even inside the simulator, huh?

Richard: Well then, I'll go ahead and eat this chocolate!

Richard: It's delicious.

Richard: It seems I have to thank you once again for this.

Richard: I'm thankful as well that the same musical instrument was included in the gifts from earlier...

Richard: I apologize in advance for my poor performance but... Let's treat ourselves into a concert for just the two of us, the performer and a lone audience.

............................

Narrator (Xu Fu): After this... The two were embroiled in a major incident in the desert, and ended up fighting monsters and mysterious shark men.

Narrator (Xu Fu): Was it the result of the simulator malfunctioning? Or was it due to some malicious intent?

Narrator (Xu Fu): It all turned into a huge commotion involving other Heroic Spirits, resulting into more than 600 pages of manuscript paper...

Narrator (Xu Fu): Oh well, it's all something trivial compared to the chocolates so, I've no choice but to skip over it! Oh well!

Narrator (Xu Fu): The battlefield of Chaldea, the Lioheart King's battlefield.

Narrator (Xu Fu): All of this events took place in a gap in between battles.

............................

A Gap In Between Battles

A return gift from King Richard the Lionheart.

During an important peace negotiation, the melody of a stringed instrument played by a lone female musician and her singing voice captured the heart of the lion.

The Lionheart King was so fired up that he said to the general, with whom he was negotiating, "You are my bosom friend. You should marry my sister and we shall rule this land together."

In the end, the talks of marriage fell through. When his sister, Joan, suddenly approached the Lionheart King about this, she scolded him with such cold, freezing eyes.

The atmosphere of the celebration that remained in his memory even after he became a Heroic Spirit was a fitting return gift for his Master. With this in mind, the Lionheart King acted with speed worthy of his name, the swift. He snatched away his Master before he had even received the chocolates.

Had his younger sister been there, she would have looked at him with the same eyes she had when the talks of marriage was first brought up.

"Brother, it's exactly that side of you."

[paranoid-rhythm]

「Chaldea Treasure Hunting!」 Rain Witch Tonelico Edition (Translation)

Tonelico: An adventure, is it? Please leave it to me!

....................................

Tonelico: Ooh! Master, look! It's full of buildings I've never seen before! So this is how a city in the near future looks like, huh? Searching for the Holy Grail together with the Master is very exciting, isn't it?

First, we should find clues about the Holy Grail's locationー

???: Welcome, emissaries from Chaldea. I am the one who rules this Singularity, the Sealed Mage. If you defeat the three guardian beasts that protect this Neo-Britain, then I shall allow the Holy Grail to be manifested to you. You budding mage, if you wish to acquire the Holy Grail, then make sure to triumph over this game! Fufu... Hahahahaha!

Tonelico: A game where we need to take down magical beasts, huh? Yes, this is something just right up my alley! Now I'm all fired up! 

Ah! I'm sensing a large magical response!  Is that the first magical beast? How ominous! However please leave it to me, I'll show you the spirit of fae magecraft! Master, your orders!

Guda: Let's do this splendidly!

Tonelico: Hah! Too slow! You're full of openings! Fairy Ring Mushroom! 

We did it! The second magical response... Seems to be coming from underground... Let's keep going!

....................................

Tonelico: It's quite the creepy place, isn't it... This is...! It's a stronger response than the one earlier! It's coming!

The guard dog of hell, Cerberus! It'll be a tough fight with wave magecraft... can you spare a bit of your mana with me?

Guda: Of course! I'll back you up! 

Tonelico: I have to be bold and strong here! Water Mirror, max expansion! Memory of Londinium!

It's our victory! Now then, the next one should be... Ah! A response from above! I'll activate my transfer magecraft! Please come this way! 

Hmm, there's nothing here... Oh! It's above! 

W-what is this size?! Master, let's collaborate on this! The collaboration of a faerie and a human! Let's shoot it down with both of our magecraft! 

Guda: Alright! With these command seals I command thee! 

Guda: Let's stack it on!

Guda: Mana release! (Increase Tonelico's Buster performance)

Tonelico: An unprecedented amount of mana... With this, I can come up with a new type of magecraft!

Two dreams that shape the future, like the  faerie gliding across the lake! Anomalous Viviane! 

Phew! We did it! Master, hold on to me! 

....................................

Tonelico: That's... the Holy Grail! 

???: Fuhahaha! To think that you've defeated my guardians!

Tonelico: What an overwhelmingly evil mana! No questions asked strike!!!

Merlin: No way, I didn't even have time to read out the elaborate explanation I put into this! Ugh! It seems that my attempt to offer a bit of thrill, surprise, and romance has backfired, but well, it looks like you both still enjoyed it, so I’ll take my leave! Farewell!"

Tonelico: Here I thought that everything's suspiciously shady, so it was the Mage of Flowers' work, huh? In any case, this means that everything's all settled, right? A magical battle in an unknown world! It was a lot of fun!

Ahem! What do you think of your adventure with me? 

The adventure that a lone girl longed for and loved in a silent library...  A scene that was unimaginable back then, but now, here we are, creating a special magic just between the two of us... 

This is quite the big event for this Tonelico, and I mean that in a good way. It was a great honor to spend such a wonderful time together with you today!

I hope this will become a page in the story you weave!

[paranoid-rhythm]

「Chaldea Treasure Hunting!」 Oberon Edition (Translation)

Oberon: Time to embark on an unforgettable adventure with this fairy king Oberon!

.....................

Guda: It's a city of steam!

Oberon: Hey, you're a youngster from the 21st century, aren't you? Aren't you supposed to be used to this kind of city? Well then again, I can understand your excitement. 

Even though it's the same consumer civilization as yours, I guess you find that there is a certain allure in this scenery. It's a city that retains its medieval charm while being dominated by a primarily industrial design, I guess being able to imagine such a contradictory world is one of humanity's strengths.

Guda: You're a reliable companion!

Oberon: Well, of course! If it's a request from you, this Fairy King Oberon will fly over to you with all his might! Though well, it did take me a quite a while to change into these clothes, but I hope you forgive me for that. After all, we're going to an adventure! So I have to be stylishly dressed, right? 

Now then, according to this steam observation clock, it seems that the Holy Grail of blessings is somewhere underground. If we find it, we'll gain a lot of QP, right? Time to go all out to repay my debts!

.....................

Oberon: Honestly, stairs of all things? In a city of clockwork? Not even a single transport mechanism?! I guess we'll just have to accept this fact and take the long way down. It'd be much easier if only I could fly, but as you know, my wings are just ornamental. Maybe I should go to Da Vinci and ask her to make a mechanical glider for me. No, maybe a jet pack is saferー...

Guda: Oberon...! Wait!

Oberon: Hmm? Did you say anything? Whoa there! Sorry, sorry, I got distracted. Wait, is our faces kind of close right now? Are you okay? Pfft... Haha... Hahahahaha! Just what kind of expression are you making! Too bad it's dark in here, if I had a camera, I would've taken a snapshot of it! 

Guda: Are you telling me my face looks weird?

Oberon: Whoa, sorry about that. I don't mean anything bad by that. I'm telling the truth. It's just that, it's an expression I've never seen you make before. It’s not the nervousness in battle, it's not the fear of death, it's something child-likeー... no, it's nothing. Saying it out loud just cheapens it. 

Anyway, forget that! Right now, there's only the two of us, alone in this underground passage. It's not like there's a terrifying enemy waiting for us ahead, so let's take it easy and enjoy this uncharted journey together!

The path ahead looks like it's going to get even narrower, so hold my hand, and let's keep moving forward. It's so you won't stray far from me, come on now, give me your hand.

.....................

Oberon: Looks like we've descended quite a bit. Oh! This seems to be the lowest level. All that's left is a straight path from here. Everything’s going smoothly! Hm? 

Huh? What is it? Is it coming from behind us? 

What in the world? This is unexpected! Let's run, Master! 

Just how persistent are these guys! And to top it off, I think there's even more of them now! 

Ah, I see light shining up ahead! Let's keep going!

Huh?! There's no road?! We're gonna fall, Master! Give me your hand!

Guda: Oberon!!!

- The Master and Oberon clung to each other as they fell. -

Oberon: Is this what they call "drowning in schemes and strategies," huh? I didn’t expect the path would collapse. Oh well, I’m used to falling. It’s just that this time, I'm a bit more entangled into something.

.....................

Oberon: Oww... Ah, Master, are you okay? 

It's hard to believe there's so many flowers blooming down here, right? As long as there is life, there will always be flowers blooming somewhere. Water, sunlight, flowers, insects, and greenery, they're all part of the cycle after all.

That's right. I'm the one who left the Holy Grail there. Because I heard that you were going to go on an adventure.

It's all true that I was asked to do this. However, it wasn't as calm as I expected it to be for the Master. Things didn't go as expected, but today is a day of celebration for you, right? What's important isー

Nemo Marine: Captain! I've found Oberon! 

Nemo Marines: We've found him!

Nemo Professor: It's all a farce! Oberon-shi has been persistently rejecting all communication attempts.

Captain Nemo: We've finally connected to you. Oberon, is the Master alright? The communications suddenly cut off when you went underground though. 

Oberon: Oh my, I didn't know about that~! The Master is fine and has successfully retrieved the Holy Grail. It's no problem over here. 

Nemo Engine: Then hurry up and return already! Your scolding will come after that!

Nemo Nurse: Fufu, if you have any injuries, I'll take care of them, so please feel free to come to me.

Captain: Everyone, shut up for a moment! Oberon, Master, it's great that you two are safe. I'd like for you both to take your time and explore the city. And if possible, I'd like for the both of you to take a lot of photos of the scenery for future reference. There's a lot of vehicles in a clockwork city, right? 

Oberon: Of course! Please look forward to the souvenirs we'll get you, Captain! We have to keep Engine happy after all. 

Nemo Engine: I-it's not like I'm interested in motorcycles or anything! W-well, I'll use it as reference for the Penguin Porter's external parts...

Oberon: Okay, then let's focus on that, huh? Well then, see you later in Chaldea!

Nemo Bakery: I’ll bake a warm baguette while waiting for you, okay?

Oberon: Alright, let's go back to the surface and explore the town until the sun sets. Even though it's a town that's messy, oily, and full of shady shops, I'm sure it'll become a wonderful memory. 

After all, exploring an unknown world is an adventure in its own right.

[paranoid-rhythm]

「Chaldea Treasure Hunting!」Tiamat Edition (Translation)

Tiamat: Alright, let's go! I haven't forgotten anything!

...........................

Tiamat: Hey~! Here, over here! So you've finally arrived. Mother rayshifted a little earlier and waited for you here. 

Guda: Sorry for making you wait!

Tiamat: Fufufu! A child who apologizes honestly is a good child! Good kid, good kid. 

Now then, let's get going. Since we have this wonderful weather, it'll be a shame if we don't enjoy it to the fullest. 

Guda: Speaking of, that's quite the wonderful ribbons you have.

Tiamat: Fufu! Isn't it? I prepared these cute ribbons and this cute overalls for today's picnic. 

Guda: Huh? Did you just say "picnic"?

Tiamat: That's right, a picnic, spending time leisurely in a vast meadow under the blue sky. That's the reason why Mother chose this place. Which would you prefer, a brisk, refreshing  place where you can have fun playing or somewhere that is calm and relaxing?

Guda: A brisk, refreshing place where I can have fun playing!

Tiamat: We're here, Master. Playing in the river is one of the best experiences of summer. Mother prefers the sea though, but we don't have many choices. Even if you fall down, Mother is right here to save you immediately, so don't worry. 

Master? What's wrong?

Guda: But we need to look for the Holy Grail...

Tiamat: Oh, my child is so earnest! Mother is happy, but this makes me sad. But, I knew you would think that way, so I packed not only lunch boxes but also the Holy Grail inside this basket... Huh? Huh?! I, of all people, lost something precious to my child! What a blunder! With this, I am a failure as a mother... 

Guda: L-let's go look for it! That's what we came here for anyway!

Tiamat: Aaah! I thought we could save searching for the Holy Grail at a later date, so I secretly hid it and prepared a picnic, because I wanted to give my child a fun picnic and adventure! 

Huh? Who is it, calling at this time?

King Hassan: Do you hear me? Do you hear my voice, O' Mother of Genesis?

Tiamat: Huh?! T-the Old Man?! A-are... Are you here to condemn Mother for taking the precious Holy Grail?

King Hassan: Not even close, I'm just here to give thanks.

Tiamat: T-that won't do! This Mother will not leave her child behind! 

King Hassan: It will do you best to listen to what I have to say. I am not drawing my sword. First, I am giving thanks for the lunch box, filled with carefully prepared dishes. It truly was a wonderful lunch box.

Tiamat: Eh? Huh? W-well, t-there's no need for thanks... I just made a lot of food for this picnic, so I just wanted to share... S-so, what is it that you wanted to tell me?

King Hassan: In the basket that you gave me, a Holy Grail is wrapped up along with the lunch boxes. 

Tiamat: Ah!

King Hassan: As expected, huh? You've mixed up the baskets. Well then, I shall return this Holy Grail to the rightful place it belongs. You should enjoy this rare time to take a break to the fullest. However, you should also fix that careless side of yours. 

Guda: It's great the Holy Grail was found, huh? 

Tiamat: But, finding the Holy Grail means that the picnic with only the two of us will now end... 

Guda: Why don't we eat, then play for a while before going back?

Tiamat: Huh? T-that's right, we should do that! Mother is so happy that she has raised a kind child! Let's enjoy this day together! Hooray for picnics! 

The culture of human children is a good thing, isn't it? 

[paranoid-rhythm]

「Chaldea Treasure Hunting!」 Asclepius Edition (Translation)

Asclepius: So you've come huh, Master? As expected of my patron. 

.............................

Asclepius: Alright, it seems we've arrived at our destination.

As the supervisor for this bounty, or should I say, treasure hunt, I expect that you have the courage to accompany me.

With this heat, and this environment, I wonder what kind of wonderful diseases, and the Holy Grail is waiting for me. I'm very much looking forward to it. 

Jason: Hey~ can you hear me? Oh! So you're there, Master! I'll be your support for today! So you should thank and venerate me! 

Asclepius: Sigh... Oh right, that's the case. Since everyone in Chaldea's support team is busy working on something else, he volunteered himself to do this. 

Jason: That's right! Just tell me if you feel like riding a huge ship right now! 

Asclepius: It's all land out here though, did you volunteer just to say that?

Jason: No, I didn't! Absolutely not! Well, whatever. First things first, head to the big city about 5 kilometers from here. A response from the Holy Grail is coming from that direction. Alright! You guys! It's time to depart!

.............................

Asclepius: It's quite the lively town, huh. This seems like it could result in all sorts of ailments. Come on, Master, hurry and find a patient!

Guda: Asclepius, this is bad!

Asclepius: T-this is...!!! You're telling me that you woke up this morning and found that your shark-rough dry skin has worsened and you've become a real shark?! Hey, tell me when did the symptoms start? Did you have any fever? Answer me quickly and accurately!

I see. That is quite interesting indeed. Here, take this Anti-Shark Head Remedy. If you rest for a while, then there shouldn't be any problems. Well then, my next patient is waiting so I'll excuse myself. Take care of yourself.

Jason! Where's the next patient's response coming from? 

Jason: Hey, hurry and look for the Holy Grail already! The reaction from the Holy Grail is coming from inside the temple in this town. Now that I've told you where it is, I’m going to take a break! And with that, I'll leave the rest to you, Asclepius! 

Asclepius: Sigh... Good grief, what a capricious captain. Anyway, let's head for the temple. It's this way. 

Guda: Huh? An oasis...?

Asclepius: What are you doing? Hurry up and sit right here. Hm. Well, it’s no surprise you’re shocked. You're probably wondering why there’s no Holy Grail and no enemies, right? This is all arranged by the Chaldea staff. They wanted to show their appreciation for your hard work, so I accepted the task of bringing you here. Taking care of the Master’s health is also part of my job after all.

Master, you’ve been working hard for humanity and its peaceful future. But if you ever find yourself struggling because you’ve pushed yourself too hard, and find it truly difficult, let me know. I promise I’ll use my medical skills to save you without fail. Do you understand?

Guda: Thank you, Asclepius!

Asclepius: What, I just said what any reputable doctor will say. In any case, you seem healthy at the moment. But since this is a good opportunity, let’s do a check-up. 

Have you noticed any changes in your health recently? Your temperature... is normal. Hmm, it looks like there’s no issue. Well then, I’d like you to be a test subject for this newly formulated medicine I've prepared. Now, give me your arm. Even if it hurts and you want to cry out, just bear with it until we know how this medicine works.

Heh. Looks like the hypnotic effect is starting to work. Master, make sure to rest well. Take care of yourself, okay?

[paranoid-rhythm]

「Chaldea Treasure Hunting!」Kama Edition (Translation)

Kama: Are you sure you're ready for the consequences of choosing me?　

Please wake up, lord knight! 

Guda: What's with this dating sim-like scenario?!

Kama: What's wrong, lord knight? Don't tell me, you forgot what our goal is? We're going to take back the Sammohana Castle that was taken over by the Demon King! 

W-what is it?!

Guda: This overwhelming dating sim vibes...! Fine then, let’s roll with it!

Guda: Princess Knight, banzai! Kama-sama has a perfect, 100 point score!

Kama: W-what are you saying, are you half asleep?! J-just follow me and let's head for the castle!

...............

Kama: W-we're surrounded! Get out of our way! Hyaa! Nooo! Let go of me! 

Draco: Haaahahaha! I've finally caught you! ’Tis I, the only one worthy of this throne! You noble knight over there! If you want to take the princess back, come and face me in the castle!

Kama: Lord kniiiiiiiiight!!!

Guda: G-give back the princeeeeess!!!

...............

Draco: I've been waiting. I am... the Consort of the Demon King, Draco! 

Kama: Lord knight! You shouldn't come any further! 

Draco: You small human, if you wish for me to return this castle, don’t try to convince me— prove to the princess that you are the one that's truly worthy of her!

Kama: Just what are you trying to make the esteemed knight do?! 

Draco: Seek your desire, no, your love! Now, present your merits, and use your love to convince her!

Kama: H-huuuh?! That's different from what we've talked about!

Guda: The time for me to give it all out has come, huh...

Guda: I want to protect it! I want to corrupt it! That smile! 

Kama: What the hell is thiiiis!!!

Guda: NNNNNNN!!! That outfit... Excites me! (Copying Douman)

Guda: Princess Kama is the best! The lone flower that ignites my chivalry!

Kama: M-Master... s-stop this alreadyー... 

Guda: I don't want anyone but Kama!

Kama: M-Master you... You big idiooot!!!

...............

Draco: What an overwhelming percentage of desire… I’m thoroughly satisfied. Fine, it's your win. We’ve even managed to capture footage of the “Chaldea Summer Special, Too Gullible! Princess Knight” that the New Director and the others wanted.

Kama: Wasn't it supposed to end when the Master gets in here?! I wasn't aware that you'll go this far!!! 

Draco: I can see that you're not entirely displeased though? Oh that's right, God of Love, here's the promised item. Very well, farewell then.

Kama: Huh... Huuuuuh?! You tricked me, didn't you! This Holy Grail is just made of stone! My plan to scare the Master with a ghost and rendezvous with them has been ruined... Ahem!

M-Master? You really just said whatever you wanted, huh? I-it made me happy though... 

There's no one else here so, w-what would you like to do?

Guda: Then, do you want to experience the daily life of a princess and a knight here? 

Kama: F-fine, it can't be helped then... For you to become my slave, what an idiot you are. 

May the summer time with only the two of us, last forever. 

[paranoid-rhythm]

BB Presents☆Summer Celebrity Experience! - CEs Flavor Text Translations

[paranoid-rhythm]

「Chaldea Treasure Hunting!」Takasugi Shinsaku Edition

Takasugi: Oh! You finally came, I've been waiting. 

Now then, as my secretary, you'll be responsible for the top-secret mission for Chaldea Heavy Industries.

What, going to look for the Holy Grail is just something we'll do on the side, or rather, let's just save that for later. I heard that the Holy Grail is located somewhere in a place called "Sky Island." Well, if it's called "Sky Island," then it must be in the sky, right? More like, seriously, it should be in the sky since it's called that way.

So, this is what we need right now! I took advantage of Chaldea's resources without permission to develop this! A special combat unit, Sora Habaki! This time, I also wanted to test the performance of this highly anticipated weapon.

Now, get behind me and get in quickly. Let's go!

Hahahahaha! This is bad! The power output is too high, I can't control it! Today may be the last day for you and me.

Guda: Can't you do anything about it?! 

Takasugi: Well, if you say so, then why don't I try something. However... I could use some help....

Hey, help me steer for a while, it's this leverー... Not that! The one to the right of that! No, the one right in between my legs, between my legsー... Huh?! Hey, you! Just where are you touching?! Just where?! Ah! Alright, that's it! 

Pull it as hard as you can! Make sure you hold on tight, I'll fly it right up!

Hm? Hey, hey, what in the world is that? Don't tell me that's thunder! I didn't hear about the weather getting this rough! 

This mana response... Things are literally looking bad right now... No, more like, it's becoming more interesting! Let's charge right in just like this! That Sky Island is surely just before us! I may not have any proof, but my intuition tells me so!

Hey, wake up. It's not time for you to sleep right now. Oh, so you've woken up, huh? And your body... looks all good. Hahaha! That's great, isn't it? Looks like we've escaped death. It seems that you've got great luck, just like me. 

In any case, look, it seems that we've successfully landed in Sky Island. It's quite a nice place, isn't it, is what I want to say. But it looks like quite the violent welcoming party has come to meet us. Well, since we're here, let's give them a flashy greeting, shall we? I'll, no, let's both show them our grit!

Guda: Let's do it, Takasugi-san!

Takasugi: Let's do it super flashily! Break through them, Ultra-Advanced Reformation,  Kiheitai!

Phew, looks like we've taken care of all of them. Hm? 

Tezcatlipoca: Even though it seemed like you're holding back, that's still quite the firepower. You pass, Takasugi Shinsaku. With this, the joint agreement between Chaldea Heavy Industries and my company, Tezcatli Corporation is now finalized. 

Takasugi: I was wondering who it was, but it's you, huh? The person from the company who offered a business proposal contract with me. Aah, so it's like that, huh? You stole the Holy Grail, then created this Singularity to test me?

Tezcatlipoca: That's right. As the CEO, measuring the capability of a future business partner is the bare minimum of my job. As soon as you return to Chaldea, we'll proceed to signing the contract and establishing the business partnership. It's not a bad deal for both parties. 

Oh right. By the way, Master, if you want a business profile that's more trustworthy, come over to my side. Tezcatli Corporation is always ready to welcome you. 

Takasugi: Whoa there, I'll have to decline that. I won't just stand by and watch while you poach my most precious employee right in front of me.  

Tezcatlipoca: Heh, that's not how I'm seeing it though. After all, it's impossible to tell from the outside what's inside a person's heart. In any case, since you've retrieved the Holy Grail, hurry and return before the technical advisor catches you, or so says the Director. Adios!

Takasugi: Good grief, it sure felt like I was taken for quite the ride. But flying through the sky with you wasn't so bad. 

"If I had wings, I would fly for a thousand miles, and see countless countries."

Aah, why don't we fly, far, far away. You and me together, that is.

[paranoid-rhythm]

This is from from 2022, not 2024.

Get your facts straight first before coming for the "Doumanfuckers."

FGO 9th anniversary poll of most handsome men

I'll never understand Doumanfuckers sorry

Also yes that's Artoria on a list of handsome men, keep up bro.

[paranoid-rhythm]

Nasu Kinoko's "short" explanation on how to understand Oberon.

[paranoid-rhythm]

> A bug flew on Ishikawa Yui (Morgan)

> Waki Azumi (Baobhan) took it off her

> Ishiya Haruki (Beryl): OBEROOOON!

> Tosshi (Oberon): Sorry, sorry! My bugs! They got excited! Please excuse my child!

nsdfkljdfklgnk when life imitates art... it's always Oberon's fault...

[paranoid-rhythm]

Douman getting kicked by Fou.

Deserved. (affectionate)

[paranoid-rhythm]

Fate／Grand Order Anthology Comics STAR RELIGHT Vol. 9 Ch. 10

TL & Typeset

Read on Mangadex

[paranoid-rhythm]

Fate／Grand Order Anthology Comics STAR RELIGHT Vol. 9 Ch. 2

TL & Typeset

Read on Mangadex

[paranoid-rhythm]

I'm going to cry