#but unfortunately for everyone
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90-minute (ish?) study of a screenshot I took upon arriving in the flooded city the other day
Reference image:
#nier#nier automata#my art#artists on tumblr#I know tumblr hates landscape format#but unfortunately for everyone#landscape painting was one of my favorite art classes
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lead balloon (the tumblr post that saved me)
if this comic resonated with you, it would mean the world to me if you donated to this palestinian family's escape fund.
--
no creative notes because this isn't that kind of comic.
I know I don鈥檛 owe any of you anything but I still felt compelled to write about my long term absence. And I feel far enough away from the dangerous spot I was in to be able to make this comic. I have a therapist now, and she agreed that making this could be a very cathartic gesture, and the start of properly leaving these thoughts behind me. I am still, at seemingly random times, blindsided by fleeting desires to kill myself. They鈥檙e always passing urges, but it鈥檚 disarming, and uncomfortable. I worry sometimes that my brain鈥檚 spent so long thinking only about suicide that it鈥檚 forgotten how to think about anything else. Like, now that I've opened that door for myself, I'll never be able to fully shut it again. But I鈥檓 trying my best to encourage my mind in other directions. We'll see how that goes.
I am still donating all proceeds from my store to Palestinian causes. So far, I've donated over $15K, not including donations coming from my own pocket or the fundraising streams which jointly raised around $10K. In the time since I made my initial post about where this money would be going, the focus has shifted from aid organisations to directly donating to escape funds.
If you'd like to do the same, you can look at Operation Olive Branch, which hosts hundreds of Palestinian escape funds or donate to Safebow, which has helped facilitate the safe crossing and securing of important medical procedures for over 150 at-risk palestinians since the beginning of the genocide.
#cw: suicidal ideation#cw: suicide#cw: self harm#cw: mental health#cw: depression#i made the balloon the main representation of my self destructive urges for a reason but im not going to explain it#i tried to keep a lot of the details in this vague#it would be my worst nightmare if this comic encouraged someone to hurt themselves#so. please dont#for a long time even the thought of making this comic felt so insipid and narcissistic#with the state of the world as it is#having the only threat to your life be yourself felt so privileged and trite and shameful#but doing this comic made me sit down and process things in full#and im just. very grateful i didn't give in to my thoughts back when i sincerely felt i'd be more useful to the world dead#i also feel the need to say that this wont represent everyone's battle with mental illness. its unfortunately different for all of us#there is no fix-all#and im afraid this might be one of those comics that either resonates a lot or misses the target by a mile#i made it for myself foremost. and now that its done im glad i did it#thank you for reading#and please stay alive#stillindigo art#stillindigo comics
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#Seven Possible Reasons Why the Ghost is Here#lists#ghost#ghosts#haunted house#haunting#spooky#unreality#everyone in this day and age loves a good joke about the game of bridge#unfortunately this is the only one we had
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you know what boils my blood.
over the last 2 weeks, i've seen countless patients walk into my urgent care center, symptomatic for so many things, refusing to get tested for covid and flu, citing that they don't want to knowingly bring it to their holiday tables. i had a patient tell me, verbatim, "i don't want to test for covid, because i don't want to be the asshole who brings it on a plane."
i understand that - i understand that holidays are times where people look forward to meeting loved ones that they might only see once a year, or where they get a break from the hectic back and forth of their lives.
but here's the thing - whether they get tested or not, they will bring whatever they have to their holiday tables. it's pure recklessness to know that you're sick, and walk into someone else's house spreading the disease.
today, january 2, i saw 91 patients, many of them who have tested positive for covid and flu. many of these patients are the same ones who didn't want testing 3 days ago, until their events were over, and now, they will have to reach out to everyone they know to let them know that they were positive because they were showing symptoms well before their event.
the next week or two? we're going to see many, many more, all people with symptoms that started around christmas. these are the only two viruses we test for rapidly in our office, but they are potent and can be fatal in many people.
so here's why i wrote this post, and maybe it's a little late, but - if you care about your loved ones, please get tested if you know you're sick. it doesn't have to be at a clinic if you don't want it to, because the over-the-counter tests work just fine too (if you test within 5-7 days of symptom onset). just...please don't try to run from the knowledge that you might have covid, because immunocompromised people, elderly people, people with co-morbidities like asthma, pregnancy, diabetes, etc...many of them may not recover. and they may not be sitting at your holiday table in the future because of it.
#zee rambles#this isn't to guilt trip anyone#but im so so tired of people coming in and just refusing testing because they want to see grandma or whatever#and on top of that people are avoiding vaccinations and all that too??#we all lived through the pandemic - everyone saw how many people unfortunately passed away from it#now because of vaccinations and some amount of herd immunity we're finding milder cases in healthy people#but that doesn't mean its gone#that doesn't mean it doesn't have long-term repercussions even in healthy people and that doesn't mean people aren't still dying from it#honestly i just needed a lil rant#and if this helps at least one person??? im all for it#also i can't sleep so here we are spilling thoughts into the voidddd
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Lmao a cursed or simply funny thought
If I were bun and not cat
(as in, y'know, assigned bunboy instead of catboy in chat)
I would probably have the most random word as the last name
...and probably much less thoughts about the background
But it would be definitely a funny haha to the tune of "NB person names Socks"
#shut up kevin#ffxiv ramblings#but unfortunately for everyone#I was assigned catboy#and decided to make it everyone's problem#because hark! lore be upon ye!!
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assorted bat practice... on top of everything he has the audacity to be hard for me to draw
#astarion#bg3#my art#eventually want to do this for everyone#polish/collect/post a bunch random drawings ive got lying around from figuring out how i want to draw them#he just has more complete ones bc unfortunately. i do like him.#i just always have to take like ten passes at his likeness#my findings are that you can always make his face narrower and the eye bags are load-bearing
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plucked by the lotus picker
#Jin Zixuan#Jiang Yanli#Jiang Cheng#Wei Wuxian#XuanLi#MDZS#Mo Dao Zu Shi#Genderbend#no work no food votes the peanut gallery#unfortunately Yanli-gege has the last say and everyone gets a second helping of dog food
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"But if college was free, then people would abuse that and get useless degrees" hell yeah I would! If I could go to college without debt I would make it my job to get a degree in every little thing that interested me. I'd get a doctorate in film studies. I'd have a bachelor's degree for every science I like. I'd try to learn at least 5 languages with varying results. I would learn something "useful" like coding and then follow it up with a ""useless"" degree like art history. I'd be the world record speed run holder for getting every degree possible.
But I can't afford college without going into massive debt, so instead I spent the last 5 years trying to figure out what I am passionate enough about to consider going into debt over, because unfortunately being passionate about everything is extremely expensive to pursue.
#simon says#i love learning so much and I hate the USA's college debt system#once they make that shit free I will be unstoppable#this topic sprung up because I had the idea that im very academic and annoyingly analytical that I might as well get a degree in it#because without a degree you just seem like an autistic asshole#but with a degree? then you look like a CREDIBLE autistic asshole#don't worry I will still learn but I still want that funky piece of paper to tell everyone I learnt it#also there's some things that are VERY difficult to learn#like I would love to persue this topic further but unfortunately I would need help with that#also before you say 'try taking [blank] classes instead! it's less expensive than a degree!' im broke#my only learning resource is the library sorry about that#also this is not the post to give me unwarranted financial advice#finances are one of the topics I DO NOT care about and I WILL NOT listen to a word you say
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馃尡鉁傦笍 (crop from this month's patreon piece)
twitter | ig聽|聽inprnt | patreon | store
#thanks to everyone who's supported me there over the past couple of years#i know i haven't posted much publicly#most of what i've done lately is only on there bc it's either hard to crop and share nicely#or it's just sketches#the past 2ish years have been the worst of my life so unfortunately that translates also to less art to share
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(Worf voice) SLAY
#hello star trek fandom. i have arrived. unfortunately#giving data powers he doesnt have for the bit#i know the actress hated the outfits cos it was blatant fanservice but she looks SO GOOD#IM NOT IMMUNE TO FANSERVICE#obviously the solution is that everyone else should have gotten sexy unique little uniforms too. oh well#star trek#tng#the next generation#data soong#deanna troi#jean luc picard
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This is a bit of a love letter to the series I got super into this year to end 2024 off. I love you inanimate insanity, absolutely changed my life and other many sappy things you could say about it.
#inanimate insanity#ii#not going to be able to tag everyone unfortunately#oj ii#paper ii#taco ii#pickle ii#fan ii#test tube ii#lightbulb ii#paintbrush ii#knife ii#suitcase ii#trophy ii#box ii#bow ii#microphone ii#cabby ii#candle ii#yinyang ii#baseball ii#nickel ii#balloon ii#marshmallow ii#bot ii#soap ii#bomb ii#apple ii#cheesy ii#nutas art
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btw i feel like this shouldn't have to be said but the reason that agatha hates rio is because agatha didn't get to say goodbye to nicky. rio couldn't offer her any more time. and, in rio's mind, nicky going peacefully in his sleep (and even telling him to turn around and kiss agatha goodbye!!) is the one grace rio feels she can give agatha. nicky doesn't suffer. he doesn't fight. he just...goes. he goes on a walk with his mother and kisses his mama goodbye. but agatha doesn't get to say goodbye!!! she doesn't get those final moments with him!! she wakes up and he's already gone.
#agatha all along#aaa spoilers#agatha all along spoilers#agatha harkness#idk i keep seeing people say that like. there's no reason for agatha to hate rio bc of how gentle she was collecting nicky and its like#i don't think u are seeing it from agatha's pov.#unfortunately i am team agatha in the divorce. sorry.#also i do genuinely love that they were so messy.#agathario#kind of?#anyway. trust i have my docs open.#again so sorry to everyone who followed me for literally anything else#i also think some of agatha's coven killings for agatha were a way to balance the cosmic scale or whatever.#she kills enough witches and she might have the chance to get nicky back etc etc but im too tired to go into that further
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The fact that izzy apparently just hangs out in stede's room doing his own thing is so funny because what's he gonna do when stede&ed start fucking?? they're gonna have to lock him out of the bedroom like the family dog that's yowling at the door
#i made a part 2 of this post because ep 6&7 converted me unfortunately#to everyone saying he can join: you were SO right and i'm an idiot anyway#steddyhands#ig#our flag means death#ofmd#ofmd spoilers#our flag means death spoilers#ofmd s2#ofmd season 2#ofmd izzy#ofmd stede#ofmd edward teach#ofmd ed teach#izzy hands#stede bonnet#edward teach#blackbonnet#gentlebeard#stedward#stizzy#gentlehands#ig???#because the implication is that he's stede's weird rescue dog that his gaggle of kids dragged home one day#& stede has /just/ got him to stop trying to eat his face
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robot yuri (i finished persona 3)
#hey guys guess who my favorite character in this game was lol#anyway if im wrong about sophia dont tell me i just bought p5s like yesterday ive only known her for about 3 hours of gameplay total#persona#persona 3#persona 5 strikers#skribbles#FINALLY defeated this godawful artblock unfortunately the game that defeated it came out in 2006 sorry everyone
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Ooh, you want to know what happens at the gay bar run by ex-pirates, ooh...You'll just have to read Tiger Tiger to find out...
(Inspired by this Disco Elysium comic)
#tiger tiger#remy bonnaire#Arno#jamis arlesi#f slur mention#(Remy is allowed to say it. Jury is still out on Jamis though.)#I love that disco elyisum comic so much. I have it saved in several places so I can find it to show people. I lost it once. Never. Again.#Hard lesson about redrawing/heavily referencing a beloved comic is that you will feel so inferior to its genius.#I did my best but I feel like I didn't hit the high notes I wanted. Such is art!#At the end of the day I have to remind myself that I'm still on a journey and not every piece is going to be my best.#Yeah I'm still on my Tigers propagana train. Toot Toot. All abord or perish to the Tigers.#I hear tigers are running the Olympics this year. That's right. It's tigers all the way down.#Obscure references aside; time to talk tigers spoilers:#I was absolutely losing my mind at Remy taking Jamis to the Starfall. He did *not* expect to be in a gay bar.#Jamis is our beloved bisexual lad but I don't think he's fully in tune with it yet.#How down right unfortunate that he is also the hottest cub in the room. Will he realize? What will he realize? Who Knows!#Thank you to everyone who checked out Tiger Tiger from my recommendations!#And thank you to my fellow Tigers fans for receiving my comics with open arms. Next comic will be about Rat Man.
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shen jiu's brother is exposing STERNOCLEIDMASTOID ALSO KNOWN AS THE SCM (PICTURED IN DRAWING) in addition to being implied to be exposing THE JUGULAR NOTCH BETWEEN HIS TWO CLAVICLES (COLLARBONES) SOMETIMES ALSO REFERRED TO AS THE CLAVICLE THOUGH IT IS OUT OF FRAME for every beast on the peak??? like some kind of harlot????
#svsss#shenbros#update: i know the muscles on the muscles on the neck are not the clavicle#(and knew that upon making the post)#the description was intended to be pithy and funny not an accurate description of the post#thank you for trying to inform me. there is literally nothing i can do other than delete the post at this point though#if you have rbed the unedited ver it will always be the unedited ver and everyone who rbs from you will also share the unedited ver#it will unfortunately continue to piss you off. i'm sorry.#i'm also sorry if the updated caption is rude.#danart
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