#but unfortunately I have no ability to write whatsoever

[treepainting]

I just searched this up because I just read the latest chapter of an ongoing fic (that as far as I can tell is not even CLOSE to finished) and I noticed that the word count was stupidly large and was reminded of this post and, I kid you not this fic is currently sitting at 242,274 words

I love going back at this post and just marveling at the work and dedication and time it must have taken to get all of this written out- and it was done For Free. As a Hobby. That they do for Fun.

This kinda turned into an author appreciation post but 🤷🏻‍♀️ y’all deserve it.

How Long is this Fic Really?: A Guide

Word count in the HP Series: 

Sorcerer’s Stones: 76,944  Chamber of Secrets: 85,141 Prisoner of Azkaban: 107,253  Goblet of Fire: 190,637 Order of the Phoenix: 257,045 Half-Blood Prince: 168,923 Deathly Hallows: 198,227

Word count in the LOTR Series:

The Hobbit: 95,022 Fellowship of the Ring: 177,227 Two Towers: 143,436 Return of the King: 134,462

[bugs1nmybrain]

Mommy's Boy: Shigaraki x Fem!Reader~Mommy Kink~☆•°♡☆°●♡

As always, Minors do NOT interact!

I remember saying how I thought writing Shigaraki fucking you in front of Dabi was out of pocket, but I've pretty much thrown all humility out the window at this point. Upsidaisy.

Updated: Nov 26th, 2023

Traits about the reader: Medium to big boobs, curvy, thick thighs, implied to be either shigaraki's age (20 in this) or older, implied to be on birth control, bad at playing video games

Notes: NSFW/smut, mommy kink, sub/switch Shigaraki, fem reader, shy and moody Shigaraki???????, Shigaraki loves boobs, awkward reader and Shigaraki interactions, spanking (reader receiving), tit sucking, vulgar language, mutual masturbation, slight degrading, a sprinkle of praise, hair pulling (Tomura receiving), no condom, reader and Shigaraki play GTA 5 in the beginning, kinda cringe tbh, season 4 era Shigaraki

I know each of my fics always end right after sex I'm so sorry. I'm going to have to get better at some plot after sex because I feel like it's so cliché.

"You suck!"

Unfortunately for you and Shigaraki, there was only one controller for the PlayStation. He had wanted a gaming date but there wasn't much you two could do together, so you had compromised by taking turns on GTA (story mode by your request).

Tomura watched as you continued to knock into every car in your line of view. You'd back out of a car you had hit only to knock into another. When you finally made it to a mission that required shooting, you were doing halfway ok, but only because of the auto-aim mechanics to be completely honest. However, the cops just showed up, and now it was you (Trevor), Franklin, and Lamar against a shit load of police. Shigaraki hoped and prayed you'd start catching on, but you just kept on dying.

"GTA 5 is easy! How are you fucking up this bad?" Shigaraki ponders in a near-genuine tone.

"It's been a while! I haven't played for maybe over 6 months."

"It's not even hard whatsoever, I don't get this. Give me a turn."

"You played like 4 minutes ago."

"Yes, but you're bad at this and it's making my head hurt. Give me that stupid controller," Tomura, without your input, snatches the controller out of your hand and plows through the mission for you with ease. You slouch on his shoulder and mope, your feelings hurt by your own pathetic gaming abilities.

"Maybe we should do something that we could both do. Why do I want to just sit here and watch you play GTA all night?" You whine. Shiggy responds with an annoyed groan.

"Take it then! It's not my fault you're shit at this. Maybe try a strangers and freaks mission," Shigaraki drops the controller on your lap. You breathe in and set your waypoint to Vinewood Boulevard. Tomura observes you drive so cautiously that it's almost worse to watch you drive so slow than to smash into cars.

Tomura sighs in agitation and slumps his chest against your back, wrapping his arms around your soft tummy and burying his face in the crook of your neck. He hugs you tight as he watches you fuck up your game and turns his attention away from your awful playthrough to something that he'd consider you to take more pride in.

Tomura glances at the v-neck of your black shirt that looked like his, only short-sleeved. He allows himself to look at your tits while you're distracted. He's had some pretty good self-restraint today, he'd say, as the push-up you were wearing was driving him fucking crazy. They looked so hot and the complexion of your skin gave them a lovely glow. He felt like a pathetic little bitchboy, wanting nothing more than to touch them and bury his face in your tits. It was a good thing you were so distracted by GTA because he was scoping the terrain out to plot his next move.

He felt embarrassed. The two of you have had sex many times, but he still felt annoying to want to appreciate your tits. Would he seem like a little bitch with mommy issues or something? Oh well, you were his girlfriend, right? If you didn't like it then you'd need to find a better toy to play with, though the thought fueled his blood because Shigaraki hadn't ever found anyone that took interest in him like you did.

There was no helping it. He was already growing a boner and you were already feeling it press against your ass as you sat in his lap.

"Tomura?"

He felt a shock surge through him, knowing full well why you were calling his name. So he didn't answer.

"Tomura, are you okay?" You giggle teasingly.

Don't do this to him, he thought. This was supposed to be a simple gaming night. But who was he kidding? 9 times out of 10 your dates ended in kind of sex.

"What gives you the impression that I'm not?" He says in an embarrassed tone. Was he feeling flustered? Cutie.

"Because something's poking me."

"Haha."

You laugh, a little surprised that he's not trying to come back with some cocky monologue like he always does. You turn around to face him to see the cutest scowl on his face. He's clearly frustrated and the boner in his pants only makes it cuter. You take it upon yourself to straddle his lap, resting on his thin frame with your thick thighs. The outline of your crotch presses against his bulge and he grunts in response.

"What's wrong, Tomura?" You coo at him and begin stroking his hair tenderly. You're going to kill him, he swears. His gaze stays stuck on the TV screen as your player stands outside of the Los Santos hospital, but you turn his face to look at you instead. "Why are you being so moody?"

"Your tits have been distracting me all day," he pouts with a flustered face, his eyes now making their way toward your cleavage.

The immediate cackle you respond with almost softens Shiggy's cock all the way, feeling insulted.

"I'm serious," he says with a grumpy voice.

"Really? Is that all, baby?" You smirk with a nurturing voice.

"Pretty much."

Taking Tomura's neck, you kiss his nape gently. He cups your hips with his hands, leaving some fingers up so as to not harm the only person who has both shown him love as well as not piss him off to no end (well, for the most part). You begin grinding on his cock which creates heavy, frustrated sighs from him.

You continue to play with Tomura's hair, messaging his scalp in between your fingers. He tilts his head backwards with a drawn-out whine as if he hasn't been touched in his whole life. That notion wasn't entirely false, before you Tomura hadn't received physical affection like this from anyone and assumed he never would because of his quirk. You were such a lucky catch for him. Maybe it was why he was hesitant to say his needs, he was scared he'd weird you out and that you'd ditch him.

Damn, when did he start caring about how somebody else would feel about his actions?

"What's wrong?" You ask caringly.

"I told you what's wrong."

"Oh, right. What can I do to make it better?"

"Mm.." Shigaraki stares at your chest and back up to you, hoping that you would pick up on his desires without him having to say it. He felt so cringy right now, like a little subby boy begging for access to your tits.

He gives up on trying to be nice when you continue to play dumb. You were doing it on purpose, for sure. A part of you loved seeing Tomura shy and polite like this, as he was usually so abrasive. He tugs on the V of your shirt and whispers in your ear, "are you too numb to get the idea?"

"And what's that?" You banter.

"Bitch. What am I supposed to tell you? That I want to suck on your tits?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Shut up!!"

"It's okay," You laugh. "You don't have to be embarrassed. I know you've got mommy issues."

"What of it? Is that a problem for you?"

"No," you giggle. "Do you need me to spoil you, baby?"

"Ew."

"I'm trying."

Tomura cackles, his broody demeanor. He squeezes your love handles and buries his face in your neck again.

"It's not my fault that you've got the body of a MILF. How am I supposed to react?"

"Wow, what a compliment."

"It is a compliment," Shigaraki snickers as he begins kissing your neck and down your chest. His hands travel from your love handles up to your waist, gripping like his life depended on it. "So, are you going to let me indulge or what?"

You giggle are stroke his long hair as he hums in question, embarrassed by his request, but somehow honored.

"Knock yourself out."

"Mmm, thank you mommy.."

"Oh my god you didn't just say that."

"Just roll with it."

Shigaraki takes a finger and tugs at your V-neck, but is disappointed at your bra. He reaches underneath to unclasp the back and yanks it out from your shirt. His attention focuses back on your tits. Tomura pulls your collar down to reveal one. He wastes no time and begins sucking tenderly. You can feel his cock growing more inside his pants, so you start grinding on the fabric, causing him to grunt while your tit is in his mouth.

Tomura pulls the other breast out from your shirt, taking a moment to gawk at them before going for the other. He teases your other nipple with his fingers. You hadn't realized how sensitive your tits really were as his tongue was flickering against your nipple causing a dripping arousal to seep through your underwear. You whine at the pleasure.

"Is this making you feel good baby?" You ask sultrily to Tomura. He responds with an eager "Mhm" and continues sucking. After what seemed like forever he lifts his head up and pulls your face down to kiss him, his saliva-coated mouth being a lovely adhesive between your lips.

"Your tits are so cute, mommy.."

"When did I consent to this mommy treatment?" You giggle.

"You're literally the one who told me I have mommy issues! Don't make me feel like shit for this."

"I'm not!" you laugh. "I'm just teasing."

You kiss him and continue to tug at his hair, "Does my baby boy need mommy to take good care of him?"

"Yes please.."

"Please, who?"

"Please mommy.."

"Mm.." You lift off of his lap and take your leggings and shirt off, leaving your full figure out for him. He puts up a finger to signal "wait" and reaches over to his bag on the floor and pulls out his special gloves. Fuck what would he do without them? He needs his hand condoms if he's gonna thoroughly make love with you.

"You're so sexy," he says, trailing his fingers to your wet cunt as he begins stroking your clit. You whimper in excitement and begin to pull down his pants. His cute cock slips out, standing proud with pre-cum already leaking out from the tip. As he continues toying with your pussy, you stroke his sensitive cock which creates lovely scratchy moans from his throat.

"God..that's it...," Shigaraki his horny, pulsing cock out on your clit, rubbing circles on it rapidly. You moan out lightly, grinding your clit against his fingers to create more friction. You rub his dick in fast as he submissively cries out in pleasure. Your clit twitches in familiar waves of pleasure once he begins sucking on your tit again.

"Is mommy gonna cum?" Tomura teases, releasing his mouth from your breast to only go to the other.

"Mhm!"

The look on his face when you began falling onto him as you came was unlike him. Tomura snickers in pride, pulling you in for a kiss while you kept stroking his cock.

"I think you deserve some privileges," you coo at him, and you sit on his lap yet again.

"I do? Have I been a good boy?"

"Mhm. Very good boy."

You circle your groin around Tomura's leaking cock as he whines out in pleading.

"Please, mommy..."

"Please mommy what?"

"Fuck me. Fuck me mommy, pleaaaase...."

With a pleasant hum in your throat, you reach down to rub Tomura's cock, then inserting it inside of your dripping cunt. Tomura groans loudly at your gooey, wet walls and attempts to push his cock deeper into you, begging for you to fuck him. To his satisfaction, to begin to bounce on his cock in rhythm, and Tomura swears you're going to drive him insane.

"Mm..does my baby boy like this? Does he feel good?"

"Fuck, yes...," Shigaraki moans. He watches intently as your tits bounce while you fuck him. He smacks your ass in frustration, shocking you.

"I guess I'm a bad boy, then. Are you gonna punish me?" He chuckles maniacally.

"Tomura, that wasn't very nice of you," you squeal, pulling at his hair in response.

Without speaking you begin bouncing on him in a quicker pace than before. Shigaraki holds around your waist tight as he thrusts, trying to savor every inch of your pussy. You were so fucking tight, but so wet too. Your cunt always made him leak, but tonight it was driving him mad.

"..fuck me...fuck me harder, mommy!"

"MmmMM! Fuck! God, mommy, you're gonna milk me.."

You oblige, hopping on him while you clench your walls, purposely trying to milk him.

"That's it, baby. Cum for me. Cum inside of mommy's pussy."

You definitely didn't have to tell him twice. Tomura sufficates himself into your neck as he holds you tight, fucking you until he finally cums deep. His orgasm is intense and long, as he continues to pump you full of cum for many seconds.

Panting and sweating, Shigaraki kisses you once more before you lift your pussy off of his cock, cum oozing out onto his lap. He snuggles in your arms and you stroke his hair. He whines from his cock that's still throbbing after his orgasm.

"Did that feel good, baby?" You ask with a nurturing tone, kissing his scrunkly forehead.

"Uh-huh...I don't know if I've ever came that hard."

"Mommy told you she'd take good care of you."

"Okay stop it. That shit is over and done with," he laughs and flicks your forehead. You rest your head down on his chest while he holds you tight, breathing heavily as he pets your skin.

"I love you," Tomura says and kisses your head as he yawns, sleepy from his orgasm.

"I love you too, Tomura."

"Next time Daddy's gonna have to do something special for you."

[wajjs]

I am always thinking about how Morrison planned on explicitly (as in, leaving no doubt about it) writing Hal as pansexual. And considering the character, it makes so much sense.

Partly because of his close contact with aliens who have so many different definitions and understandings of gender, and also because when it comes to his relationships with fellow humans he has romantic/sexual tension with a lot of people regardless of their gender.

I think it would've been cool to explore that, and would've also helped modernize the character. Writing him as pansexual isn't a stretch at all, since, well, there is proof everywhere (and across different universes/earths/and canons).

The way I see it, having him directly confront his sexuality and sexual attraction can also lead to him confronting his attachment issues. Hal is a very sexual, and also very romantic, person, and the type to show his feelings in a grand romantic gesture kind of way. I mean. The whole plane thing. C'mon.

But also, when someone has a part of themselves they're blind to, that directly affects their relationships. And I think that, ultimately, that's what affects Hal's ability to stay with someone (except, funnily enough, for the DKR earth, where he's happily married with a kid) without sabotaging it himself.

On that same vein, I do also think fandom tends to misinterpret Hal's relationship with gender. I think part of the blame has to do with the fact that those Spectre panels have been reposted to infinity and beyond without any sort of context, and that mixes well with the fact that unfortunately a lot of people just don't read comics at all.

I do not think those panels are meant to be taken as Hal being secretly transfem, though it is definitely interesting and heartwarming to think/write what ifs in which that is true.

What we see is that the feminine version is just one part of Hal, but not THE part. She doesn't have dominance over the others whatsoever. There are other versions of himself that also cannot be exactly tied down to any binary gender whatsoever.

It's my opinion that, if anything, Hal is genderfluid, but is somewhat unaware of it since he thinks that's the natural state of things. (And I also think he would only use he/him pronouns even if he becomes fully aware of his genderfluidness.)

[ruanais]

。。。 FOUR, NINE, THIRTEEN 。。。

• — { omnipresent. chapter one: }

• — {warnings : mentions of suicide, dark content, no nsfw but things that could be triggering, dazai :P , bad writing, reader curses a lot, maybe some typos, etc. etc.}

• — {special thanks to : silver for helping me write + plan the plot, thank u to red and kat for taking their time to beta read, and thank u to mai for also helping with the plot ! }

• — { tagging the people who expressed interest ! @settingssun | @silverbladexyz @cheriiyaya | @kxttqi | @riiwrites + comment under this post to be tagged ! }

THE FIRST TIME Dazai Osamu met you, it was midnight. he was just walking to a bar and you were on the edge of a bridge railing, dressed in a school uniform. probably from a prestigious high school and not more than 15, he guessed when he took a better look at you. 

it was raining a storm, Rain had soaked through your clothes, and your hair was drenched. Paired with the harsh wind, you must be freezing. 

You were looking down at the river, a rather far away look in your eyes as you were seemingly in a dilemma, weighing two choices and- 

oh. 

dazai had already got the gist of what you were about to do, yet made no motion whatsoever. still and silent as a shadow, even when you took in a sharp breath and stepped off, falling down to the river’s current

a splash and you were gone forever, leaving him alone on the bridge.

now he was blankly staring at where you were mere seconds ago. not caring to even move. rooted at where he was. but several questions ran through his mind at that moment.

did you notice him staring? 

it wasn’t any use thinking about it so he let it go. 

the second time he encountered you, he had heard a series of gunshots then quickly headed to there. you were already dead. shot by someone he couldn’t catch.

Obviously, he was surprised to see your face but quickly collected himself, called the police, and left. finding it suspicious but quickly brushing it off his mind as he had more urgent and important matters to take care of than the measly death of someone he didn’t know. 

the third time he saw you, you were crossing the street. a calico cat in your arms as you talked to it, petting its fur and a warm smile on your face. 

then, you turned your head and caught sight of him, you widened your eyes seemingly in recognition, but you had ran, almost as if you were trying to escape from him.

well, dazai had tried to chase after you. But in your haste, you had failed to look at the road. tires screeched and you got hit by a car. 

he had ran and reached out his hand to try and pull you away despite knowing it was futile. but it was too late. blood splattered on him, staining his hand. Not that he ever cared. 

the cat was unhurt though, somehow miraculously shielded by your body. its large eyes looking into his’s before letting out a small meow then ran away. leaving you on the ground. 

sirens cut through the deathly silence, medics quickly rushing out of an ambulance after a bystander called the police. arriving just a few minutes later.

He tsked, running his hand through his hair, and and slipped away from there, away from that street, never to return.

on the fourth time, he saw you again. now convinced that you were a special case, he had to find you before you were gone. 

but unfortunately, he was too late again. you were a member of an rival organisation, holding important information and so was captured, interrogated, then brutally killed by one of the executive’s ability. crimson red blood pooled around your corpse before he got a chance to talk to you. 

“she already told us what we needed to know already. it’s no use keeping her around.” was what ozaki said when he demanded an explanation. “best to kill them before they cause further trouble. Say, dazai, don’t tell me-?” she frowned, shooting him a small glare. sighing deeply when he shook his head no. 

“I have to say, she was quite pathetic. Immediately telling us everything when we threatened the lives of her subordinates… I overestimated her.” was what she said while walking away slowly disappearing into the darkness, leaving him alone in the dim room. 

it was strange, he had to admit. the fact that you died every time before he got the chance to talk to you was quite eerie. not that he could do anything about it. Then, he left you again, leaving his underlings to clean up the mess. 

it happened nine times more, but instead of seeing you directly, he saw it on the news or heard it from his acquaintances. looking at your picture, you looked different in every universe but you had the same features. just enough to be recognizable. 

…

He was in the agency now, a new member. And amazingly, in record time, he was already doppo kunikida’s worst nightmare. 

today was his third day. how boring was this? 

in short: indescribable.

he felt like a deer caught in a spotlight. Far too out of place. Dazai knew how to put on an act, one to cover his true intentions quite nicely. Not enough to fool edogawa, of course. But enough to fool everyone else. 

he had listened to what odasaku had told him, be someone who saves people. he did or tried, or it would be something that he would do later. Depends, really.

…maybe one of the reasons he decided to follow through with his friend’s words was to make himself feel better. From what though? 

the guilt of not being able to save you? Maybe not stopping you from dying on the first time you met? 

Impossible. he was known as the demon prodigy after all when he was back in the port mafia, famous for being someone who had no remorse for murdering hundreds or committing endless heinous crimes. 

How troublesome. Such emotions were an obstacle to his goals. 

He tried to get rid of it. ignoring the guilt that was eating his heart away helped only a bit. But distractions helped. A few bottles of sake and his guilt would leave him for a while. 

But maybe paired with the fact that he couldn’t help nor save sakunosuke oda only made it worse. 

guilt was annoying. Troublesome, a nuisance. just about anything that was negative, he thinks, leaning back in his seat and ignoring the reports he has to write. 

actually, all emotions were useless. Was what he thought, turning around and around. 

…come to think of it, he never saw you in this universe before. nor even heard of you. 

maybe you don’t even exist right now. 

which is weird. since you seem to pop up randomly in every universe he’s in. 

really, really, reallyyyyyyy suspicious- 

“Ow!” 

A book hit his head, snapping him out of his thoughts. 

“Get to work dazai!” 

ah yes, classic kunikida. Always and forever strict and doesn’t like fun. Why were all math teachers like that? oh. even former ones. all they do is yell, scream, scold, yep math is definitely ruining the minds of everyone.

“Fineeee…these are boring though… I’ll do it later….” he whines, laying his head on his desk, drawing random shapes with his finger on the light brown wooden table. 

“Just do your work already!” Kunikida yelled, clearly at his breaking point.

“Come onnnn kunikidaaaaa just let me have some funn~” 

“You can have fun after work is over-“ 

“Aaah! sorry I'm late!” 

The agency’s door bangs open, and a disheveled young woman appears.

you?

he automatically freezes, eyes widening as he feels a chill run down his spine, dazai did just a quick double check to see if his vision is finally failing him.

the same eye colour? check.

the same hair colour? check.

the same height? check.

check, check, check.

fuck

Was what Dazai thinks after mentally checking off everything. His eyebrows furrowing. it was getting even more suspicious. Normally, you would die before he got to interact with you, so isn't this practically giving him a chance to know about you? What the hell does it- does it even fucking make sense? 

obviously not. 

which…didn’t make things any easier. 

kunikida mutters something under his breath before marching towards you, ready to give out yet another lecture. “Now why were you late?!” 

“uhm…I had to work a longer shift?” you said, shifting from one foot to the other. “Uh…it also didn’t help that there were more customers than usual..?” you added, awkwardly smiling as you sweatdropped nervously. 

“how many times do I have to tell you to fix your schedule?!” kunikida practically screams at you. “This has been the 5th time this month!” he stomps his foot before sighing, walking back to his seat and sitting down before checking his watch; “see? Now you’ve made me 3 minutes behind!” he groans, but promptly pushes back up his eyeglasses and opens back his computer to work.

“It wasn’t my fault- oh! new member huh? hi. want meat buns anyone?” you raise up a paper bag of warm buns, waiting for their response. instantly, almost everyone in that room raises their hand up. Except for kunikida and dazai.

“…we need to save some for president and haruno though.” Yosano reminded you as she reached into the bag for one. “i bought another bag of them, it’s fine!” you reassured her, then walked towards dazai.

 “hey, you. Do you like meat buns?” you ask, before letting him having a chance to answer, you stuffed the whole bun into his mouth when you got the chance, “it’s good right?” ignoring the fact that he may be choking right now. But who cares when you have dr. yosano? 

“Yep!” he replies after a while when he finished the bun, putting on a charming smile, pausing for a few moments before adding something utterly ridiculous; “would you be interested in committing a double suici-?” 

“no.” you interrupted, cutting him off. hitting his head with a folder you took from kunikida’s desk. Not noticing the slight ouch he let out. “I’m far too young to die yet.” You declare, taking out a bun and apparently practically inhaling it in less than a minute.

“What’s your name by the way?” “Dazai Osamu.” “That’s a weird name.” You remark, placing back the folder. “Anyways, I’m [name].“

“no last name?” “[name]’s surname is a mystery to everyone. only the president and ranpo know it, but apparently they wont even give a hint.” Yosano yawned stretching her arms.

“But, if you successfully guess what is her last name, you get half the money in her purse!” A random staff member chimed in.

“shut up!” you huff, “and my last name isn’t that important anyways! Besides, I’m not paying anyone for guessing my last name correctly-“

“all of you shut up! We won’t ever get any work done at this rate! Dazai, focus on your damned reports! [name]! Help organise these folders!”

kunikida hollered, now practically spitting fire. Well, to avoid trouble, everyone got to work. Expect for dazai that is. Unfortunately, he was still lazing around until you threatened to tell the president of his tardiness.

“Who knew [name] could be so strict? you really wouldn’t know her from just 3 years ago.” yosano teases as you glare at her. “Let’s not talk about that time.” You cringe, tensing up at the memory.

“ehh? but you were so cute back then! now you’re just a boring adult…” the doctor sighs, “at least I can go out to drink with you now.” she added, browsing through grotesque pictures of victims’ deaths. “oooo now this looks good…” she mumbled, absorbed in choosing the next picture to hang in her room. 

“Well im glad that I changed.” you say as you pour some coffee into your cup. How the coffee machine got placed on your desk was a wonder but no one asked why, already used to your rather unusual actions.

“Mmm…pretty sure you’re the only one that feels like that.” 

…

“I swear to God I’m gonna dieeee…” you slump in your chair, frowning after a few hours passed. evening had arrived and it was just about 6:00PM. The sun was in the process of setting, a warm orange-reddish glow settled around the agency.

everyone was occupied with something; dazai with his beloved a guide to suicide book, you with your day dreaming, kunikida with his work, yosano with her pictures, the staff with their own things, and ranpo who finally arrived after buying his snacks and is now feasting on them.

“there’s more work for today. Good job everyone. Feel free to home and rest.” the president suddenly appears from from his office, a black cat and haruno following him close behind.

Fukuzawa Yukichi: the man responsible for creating the Armed Detective Agency. the cat sat down the floor, then stared up at the president, letting out a small ‘meow!’ earning a few “awwws” from the agency staff and members.

“goodness…that cat is cute…” you murmur, playing with a pen. “I’ll bet I’ll scare the shit outta them the second i try to go near there though. what a shame.” You sigh before picking up your phone, after hearing numerous pings, you quickly scrolled through them, then got up, took your bag and started out.

“well then, thank you all for the hard work and please excuse me for leaving before you. I’ll see you all tomorrow then. Also! president! There’s a bag of meat buns for you and haruno! enjoy!” You waved, opened the door, and left. stretching your arms when you felt like you finally tasted the freedom of after finishing work.

you soon arrived at the train station, buying a ticket then entered the train. Suprisingly, there weren’t too much people. That’s good. after all, being stuffed in a train with loads of people like sardines in a can was never fun.

sitting down, you glanced out the window, admiring how pretty the sky looked when the sun was setting. Maybe you should wake up earlier tomorrow to see the sunrise…which would probably never happen since waking up in the mornings were hell.

nothing was really new. you followed the same routine everyday. wake up, brush your teeth, eat something, dress, then head to uzumaki cafe to work.

Which usually lasted until the afternoons. Then, you walked up to the agency’s office and helped with almost anything until your roommate spammed your messages to buy groceries or beer or whatever.

you’d head back, make dinner, do chores, shower, mess around then practically pass out in your bed until 7:00am and repeat.

you followed the same routine today as well, get back, made dinner, which today consisted of rice, vegetables, and soup. after that, you headed to bed a bit later than usual. due to innasomia from caffeine.

you really shouldn’t have drunk that much coffee at night.

either way, you were content with how things were. And you had thought that tomorrow would be the same as before until you woke up due to your phone ringing.

squinting at your clock, you wince. It was quite early: 8:00am and you only got 4 hours of sleep. just the day when you got the rare chance to head to work late.

groaning, you reached for your phone blindly, knocking down a few things until you could finally get a hold of it.

“…hello?” You groggily ask when you answer the phone, immediately snapping awake from your half asleep state after realising what the other person on the line just said.

“what the actual living fuck?”

rua’s notes : and that concludes the first chapter! whoaaaa it sure took a while huh :0 since it’s only the 1st, I wont immediately write abt the reader and osamu’s relationship :3 also, the reader has a ability ! (just wait a few more chapters) also chapter two will be focusing back on dazai !

thank u for reading this cringy ass fic that I stayed up all night writing !

[stayevildarling]

Hi. I saw you are running low on inspiration for some Delia, Mina, & Billie fics. I was shifting through and found some fun prompts that could be fun to use with them!

“Where are you? Tell me where you are.”

“You left me alone.”

“Don’t cry please.”

“Oh my gosh, you’re bleeding.”

“Don’t yell at me!”

“What did you do?”

No pressure whatsoever, inspiration comes naturally so it’s okay if you don’t have it currently. I have been loving the Marvel fics too but I do miss our girls Delia, Mina, and Billie! Thankkk youu. Take care!

Cordelia Goode x Billie Dean Howard x Wilhemina Venable x Reader - Basement Blues

A/N: Thank you very much for sending these prompts. I got a request that instantly reminded me of this and so I combined it🫶🏼.

initial request:

Hiii as per usual I’m watching a horror movie and I was wondering .. could you write a fiction where r decides to join Billie during the inspection of a presumed ‘haunted house’ and her coworkers, while Billie is checking upstairs, pull a prank on r deciding to leave her behind in the basement. Little did they know that a ghost lurked there, anything but kind, leaving r absolutely terrified. Maybe she hurt herself trying to push the door open. When Billie finds out what happened, she is both outraged and deeply sorry for r, who won’t speak but only cry and shake in fear. It could be a hurt comfort fic w multiple characters too, I was thinking Cordelia and Mina maybe? (You choose) When Billie comes back home with r, Mina and Delia will surely ask her questions, noticing r’s state. The three of them trying to pick up the pieces. Thanksss <<3

tw: mention of ghosts, mention of haunted house, mention of cursing, mention of smoking, mention of blood

word count: 6k

taglist:

@lunaticwhittaker , @billiebeanhoward , @lanawinters-ily , @kenzbro , @minaslittleone , @httpfiftyshadesofgay , @whitelotus00 , @ninaahs , @paulsonsratched , @vintagepaulson , @isle-of-earle , @grilledcheeseandguavajelly , @lucyintheskywithxanax , @fanfics4world , @mymiraclewitch , @hazard-to-myself , @awritersometime , @wastdtime , @p1pecleanerwitheyes , @queen2234 , @ihartnat , @lifebyinez , @ahsatanizgay , @stepintomyworld

The academy had been quiet today, the soft sound of rainfall shuddering against the windows overlooking the gardens and greenhouse of the coven, your home. As your partners go on about their usual days, Billie Dean filming her show- getting ready to film the last bits for her newest season, Cordelia working in the academy, guiding a group of witches in improving their magical abilities and Wilhemina equally at work, you find yourself feeling a little bored.

Now it certainly didn't happen often, as you had a career of your own, but unfortunately you are off from work for a week, which usually you would enjoy, if it meant their schedules lined up with your own. However, as it was a little short notice, neither of them could take any time off, leaving you almost like a lost puppy wandering the academy. Often you had wished you could also be a witch, get taught by Cordelia and spend your afternoons or days off working on spells, witchcraft and potions. But you couldn't and so the only thing you had been doing today was some reading, getting started on some dinner preparations and checking in on the supreme from time to time. Despite not being a student at the academy, you wanted to make yourself useful and so you had spent your morning in the greenhouse, tidying up the potion shelves, organising the various ingredients and labelling some jars. Afterwards, you watered the plants, ensuring they receive the proper care, despite the supreme caring and tending to them regularly but you knew she had been busy lately.

However, as the day goes on, you find yourself growing increasingly bored, sighing to yourself, you lean on the kitchen counter, overlooking the gardens and how it was by now pouring down with rain, the sky filled with dark clouds and making the aura almost a little gloomy. Your thoughts are interrupted when the sound of the front door opening and closing startles you a little, causing you to instantly turn around, your features beaming. A small smirk makes it's way onto your features, as you watch your girlfriend Billie Dean walk inside, abandoning her umbrella nearby before kicking off her heels. Almost with graze, she abandons her handbag and blazer in the hallway before sighing heavily at the rain and knowing she would need an extensive hair care routine tonight, as otherwise she would be overwhelmed with her hair going frizzy and wavy. You peek your head around the doorframe, watching her in quiet adoration and giggling a little at her antics.

,,Hi'' you beam a little, your genuine smile instantly lighting up the room as you didn't expect the medium to be home just yet. ,,Hi babydoll'' she greets you warmly, her features equally lighting up before opening her arms. ,,Come here'' she offers and you comply, letting her steady arms wrap around you as you nuzzle yourself further into her neck, taking in her scent of expensive Chanel perfume and vanilla. ,,How's my baby girl?'' she asks gently before you mutter out a quiet ,,I'm k Billie, how about you?''. As the two of you pull away, you follow her into the kitchen where she takes a seat, lighting a cigarette before filling you in about her day. ,,How was filming?'' you ask excitedly as you watch her light the cigarette with again such grace. ,,It was good darling, we have one more house to film at tomorrow and then we should be mostly done'' she announces, brushing her fingertips through her slightly soaked curls.

,,Where are you filming tomorrow then?'' you ask curiously before she fills you in a little further, the two of you getting lost a little in conversation and Billie filling you in on all the details about her day. She watches curiously as you listen intently to her every word and as she abandons her cigarette in a nearby ashtray, before turning the coffee machine on, she can't help but notice how spotless the place is, not just the kitchen but the academy as a whole. ,,What did you get up to today darling? other than cleaning?'' she chuckles, knowing you to be a bit of a neat freak. When your gaze averts hers, the blonde can tell that something was on your mind, in fact she had noticed it as soon as she greeted you as you normally aren't that clingy or cuddly straight away. Her features tense a little as she tilts her head to the side to get a look at you ,,What's the matter?'' she asks, her tone soft but a little stern at the same time. ,,Nothing Billie'' you assure, quickly smiling at her to make the statement more believable.

Her eyebrows furrow as she sits back down again, her gentle hand finding yours on the table and holding it in place. ,,What is it?'' she tries again, her eyes piercing right through you as you meet her brown ones. Sighing heavily you avert her gaze again before speaking ,,I've just been bored today, I have done everything that I could think of but I always feel a little useless when I'm not working or when I'm not around either of you'' you admit. The statement causes for her to frown a little before she begins thinking ,,You're off for the rest of the week right?'' she asks, causing you to nod at her question. ,,I'm sorry darling but I promise I'll take you somewhere nice this weekend hm?'' she tries, causing you to simply nod sadly, excited at her offer but knowing you would still have to wait a whole week for that to happen. Billie watches as an idea quite literally ripples through you, causing your eyebrows to shoot upwards, a smirk on your features ,,What's going on in that pretty little head of yours?'' she smirks before you fill her in ,,Can I pwease go to work with you tomorrow?'' you ask excitedly, your features beaming once again.

The medium scratches her head before beginning to play with her rings, thinking about it for a moment. You had often asked Billie as you are a big fan of her show and she had taken you for some promo bits a few times. Her crew loved you anyway as you always made yourself useful and got everyone coffee so she simply smiles at you before nodding. ,,Sure babydoll, I'd love to take you'' she reassures before you beam a little, kicking your feet up and down in excitement and she chuckles then at your adorableness, before pressing a kiss to the hand that she is still holding. Glancing at the time, you notice you should carry on finishing dinner preparations and so you do just that, walking back over the fridge and setting the ingredients down. You smile warmly as you feel Billie's arms wrap around you from behind, her chin resting on your shoulder ,,What are we having tonight babydoll?'' she whispers. ,,Tacos'' you announce before she presses a kiss to your cheek. ,,Oh, you truly are an angel'' she smiles before walking away, swaying her hips a little more than necessary. ,,I'll just be in the shower darling'' she announces before leaving you.

A while later, you finish setting the table and continue to prepare dinner, chopping some vegetables, overlooking the gardens once more, noticing how the atmosphere seemed a little lighter, even a rainbow in the distance somewhere before you see a presence lingering by the doorway from the corner of your eyes. ,,Hi Delia'' you greet her as she watches you in quiet adoration. ,,Hello sweetheart'' she smiles warmly before taking slow and gentle steps towards you ,,Guess what?'' you beam a little and doing some type of excited dance that she can't help but giggle at. ,,What darling?'' she asks, her heart fluttering at seeing you so happy. ,,I'm going to work with Billie tomorrow'' you announce proudly, almost a little smug. ,,You're what?'' she asks, acting as if she didn't hear you properly, her eyebrows raised ever so slightly. ,,I-am-going-to-work-with-Billie-tomorrow-'' you slow down the words in a joking manner causing her to smirk a little.

,,Oh yeah? who says that sweetheart?'' she asks, the concern already laced on her beautiful features. ,,Me'' Billie Dean announces as she walks in, towel wrapped around her head from just finishing in the shower. The medium presses a kiss to your cheek before stealing a vegetable from the chopping board and putting it in her mouth ,,And why is that?'' Cordelia asks, her eyebrows still raised as she tries to keep her worry hidden and at bay. ,,She told me she's bored and I would love to take her'' the medium shrugs before leaning agains the kitchen island. ,,I'm not sure that's a good idea'' Cordelia protests, remembering the dangers that Billie's career brought, often finding the medium shivering and shaking at night after an especially rough few episodes. ,,Why not? I'll look after her'' the medium announces, giving you a little wink before speaking again ,,Besides, you have been here all day'' she argues causing for Cordelia's eyebrows to raise again.

,,Yes teaching witches all day'' Cordelia argues back, you watching the scene unfold quietly, knowing it's still light and mostly a joke. ,,Come on Dee, it's not like she's going to work with Wilhemina'' Billie jokes, before walking away to light a cigarette. ,,Who's not going to work with me?'' the redheads voice rings through the quiet kitchen as she returned moments ago. You beam a little seeing your Mina, having missed her today ,,Darling Billie here has decided to take Y/N to work tomorrow'' Cordelia announces, her eyes pleading with the redhead hoping she was going to agree with the supreme and share her concern. Wilhemina watches Billie's devilish grin before retreating for a smoke, your puppy eyes as if asking for permission, despite not needing it and Cordelia's eyes piercing through the redhead. Wilhemina remains quiet, not necessarily liking the idea of you being near ghosts and spirits but trusting Billie and her white light spirit that she talks about daily enough to let you go, knowing you must have been bored and feeling bad that she didn't manage to take any time off to spend with you this week.

As you serve the food, Billie returns before Wilhemina's eyes pierce through the medium ,,You better look after her Howard'' she warns before the blonde chuckles ,,Always''. Cordelia watches, her eyes meeting Wilhemina's surprised that she agreed before reminding herself that you are an adult after all and can make your own decisions. The tense atmosphere is quickly replaced by a comfortable one as the four of you talk about your days over dinner, the three of them thanking and praising you for you cooking and you making fun of Billie for almost dropping the entire content of her tacos on the table while trying to take a bite. The remainder of the evening is spent in the comfortable embrace of each other, the almost all too familiar image of Wilhemina sitting in her armchair by the fireplace knitting, Billie and you snuggled in Cordelia's arms on the sofa while watching some of her show.

The next day begins with a gentle warmth filtering through the windows of the academy. As the first light of morning creeps in, Wilhemina's alarm clock ripples through the quiet air, causing her and Cordelia to stir from their slumber, arms and legs still entangled in each other and their comforting embraces. Slowly, Billie Dean stirs as well, before opening her eyes, catching a glimpse of Wilhemina already on her way to the bathroom, Cordelia's eyes meeting hers. ,,Where's Y/N'' Billie asks confused, her voice still sounding hoarse from sleep. Cordelia glances towards the bathroom door, finding Wilhemina disappear inside, at first assuming you had been in there before her eyebrows furrow. The two of them briefly make their way downstairs, only to find you already having set the table for your girlfriends for breakfast, Wilhemina's lunchbox for work already prepared as you go on about your task while dancing along to a song playing in the background, swaying your hips as your excitement gets ahold of you.

,,Sweetheart?'' the supreme tries softly, however you are so lost in your buzzing mood that you can't hear her. Billie chuckles before walking over to you, startling you. ,,Morning babydoll'' she greets you with a chuckle and gentle kiss as your cheeks are coated in a slight red shade, not expecting them downstairs yet. Cordelia watches in quiet adoration, leaning against the doorframe and she can't help the fluttering of her heart or the genuine smile spreading across her features, seeing you this happy and content. It hadn't always been like this, the last two years having been anything but kind to you and she had often worried if you would move past it, make it to the other side but seeing you this genuinely happy, causes her both relief and joy. The supreme is startled when she hears the sound of Wilhemina's cane softly approach from behind, causing her to snap out of her thoughts and join the three of you for breakfast.

,,Alright I'm off, have fun little one'' the redhead speaks softly as she collects her things including the lunchbox you had made for her. ,,Thanks Mina'' you smile at her before she turns to the medium ,,Look after her'' she warns again before leaving, her cane echoing through the academy as she makes her way towards the driveway. The remainder of the morning you cannot await your departure with Billie, she made sure to make it special for you, helping you with the perfect outfit and even some makeup as she offered to maybe give you a little scene in her show after all if it wasn't too dangerous. After saying goodbye to the supreme, who's worried glance follows you until you are both out the door, Billie drives you to her usual coffee spot, picking up her pre work coffee and getting you a little something as well. ,,Thanks Billie'' you beam, loving when she spoiled you like this.

The ride to the location takes about half an hour and the two of you simply enjoy each other's company, the sound of the music quietly in the background. Billie truly was stunning and you have a hard time not stealing glances at her or to stare too much as she takes you inside to her crew, the mini skirt complementing her body in the perfect way. ,,Good morning Miss Howard'' her crew greets her and you watch in awe seeing her crew again and all the film equipment already prepared. ,,Morning everyone'' she greets with her usual cheerfulness until her colleagues take a look at you. ,,We've got a guest today?'' her assistant remarks excitedly and Billie nods, before introducing you to two male crew members that you hadn't met before, being familiar with the rest.

While they look over the last few details of this house's history and the spirit meant to be residing here and haunting the people living here, you inspect the camera equipment a little further, staying in the background as you didn't want to bother Billie or anyone. ,,Alright, start upstairs and then make our way down?'' her assistant suggests and Billie nods before checking herself in the mirror one last time, doing some sort of expression that you can't help but silently chuckle at in adoration. ,,I want you to stay down here with the crew babydoll k? I'll get you once I know it's not too dangerous and then I'll see if I find a little scene for you alright?'' she asks, bopping your nose with her finger and you nod and smile before she presses a kiss to your lips.

The house becomes quiet as they ascend the stairs, the only noises to be heard Billie as she takes the camera through the house, talking about the history of this home, what the owners had been going through and what they had researched about the spirit. Some of her crew members remain downstairs and you watch the two guys as they mutter something to themselves. There is some artwork on the walls and you inspect them a little closer as you see old family photos and you wonder who the people may be as the family living here was young and these photos looked a couple of centuries old. ,,Hey, your Y/N right?'' one of them asks and as you are awful with names you decide to call them ,,the blonde one'' and the ,,the ginger one'' in your head. ,,Yes I am'' you announce friendly, not particularly liking the company of men but wanting to be nice nevertheless considering they work for Billie.

,,We left some equipment down there, do you think you could fetch it for us while we do this?'' the ginger one asks and you nod as he gestures towards the computers where you see Billie inspecting upstairs and so far not having any luck as she works her magic in contacting the spirit. ,,Sure'' you shrug friendly, usually helping out her crew whenever you joined the medium the couple of times you had been to her office. ,,It's just a small laptop'' the blonde one says and opens the door for you. The entire basement is dark and as one of them turns the light on, a wooden staircase is exposed and you make your way down. As soon as you reach the bottom of the stairs and look around, the door suddenly bangs shut and you quickly go upstairs, still thinking this was an innocent mistake. When you hear both of them giggling and notice they had locked the door, you simply roll your eyes before muttering ,,Not very funny''.

In the end you sit on the stairs for a while, realising you have no service or connection to contact Billie. The door was thick and you assumed if you screamed she may not hear you and you simply will embarrass yourself more. In the end, you walk back down the stairs, checking out some more frames on the walls and countless storage boxes. It's when the light suddenly begins flickering and turning off altogether that your breath hitches a little. In a desperate attempt, you use your torch from your phone, despite it only providing a small source of light in the big basement. At first you assumed it was those same idiots that had locked you in here to begin with but you quickly realise it was more serious than that when countless of the boxes begin tumbling down the shelves, no presence of anyone visible.

,,Hello?'' you call out but instantly scold yourself as you had always mentioned how stupid it was to call out said word whenever watching a horror movie. Carefully, you walk around some of the boxes, shining your torch in the direction the noises came from when you see a shadow. It causes you to shriek a little before backing away. Now, due to the darkness you aren't sure but you could swear you had seen that face on one of the photos from earlier, a man assuming in his twenties with dark hair, dressed in some clothes that match the century vibes from the pictures. His expression looked angry, making you feel scared and uneasy. In a desperate attempt to flee the situation you begin screaming and banging against the door but you can't hear anything other than the giggling idiots on the other end.

,,This is my house, you have no business here'' a dark voice suddenly calls out before a torch comes flying your way, hitting the door and causing the glass to split everywhere, including your direction. ,,Please I just want to get out of here'' you plead, your rational side not able to believe that you are actually talking to a ghost and at the same time admiring how Billie could do this on a daily basis as this terrified you in a way nothing had ever scared you. It's when you hear heavy footsteps at the bottom of the staircase that you begin banging against the door, screaming for Billie and eventually using all of your strength to try and open the lock, hitting your shoulder and pushing all your weight against it in the hopes of opening the door.

,,Where is Y/N?'' Billie's voice calls out as she makes it downstairs again, seeing her two crew members but no sign of you. They both shrug and Billie is confused before looking around the house. ,,Y/N?'' she calls out before she hears you crying out her name. ,,Where are you? Tell me where you are'' she calls out in a desperate attempt, hearing your distress. She suddenly hears banging from the basement door and stares at the two idiots before rushing over, the camera still following her. The medium unlocks the door instantly, finding you shivering and shaking with fear as you practically fall into her arms, the spirit near seconds from you and she is quick to grab you, spin you both around so she faces the spirit before chanting some latin words and making him disappear.

,,What the hell happened?'' she asks as she takes your cheeks into her hands, tears continuing to stain them. ,,You left me alone'' you choke on a sob, feeling the fear still rippling through your body as you had never experienced something like this before. ,,Don't cry please'' she whispers as she holds you protectively. ,,Why were you in there?'' she asks confused before you meet her eyes and your guilty eyes meet the two idiots standing in the corner, their expression suddenly very serious. ,,Turn this shit off'' Billie curses as she stares at the camera, leaving you for a moment. ,,Are you serious?'' she screams, not being able to hold her composure. ,,Locking someone in a basement of a haunted house, congratulations, you didn't only scare her for dear life, the spirit is also gone'' she screams in frustration, her whole camera crew and assistant silent as they had never seen the medium like this before.

,,Get out of here, you are both fired'' she curses before turning to her assistant. ,,We are done here, I'll see you in the office on monday'' she announces and the woman simply nods as Billie reaches for her handbag. As you follow her, her assistant gives you a compassionate and sorry look. Billie takes your hand, guiding you towards her car before opening the door for you. She closes it gently before getting into the drivers seat, banging the door in frustration before lighting a cigarette. The two of you remain there for a little bit until Billie finishes, without a word she begins driving, the music still playing quietly in the background.

,,I'm so sorry'' she eventually whispers and as you turn towards her, you notice a tear running down her cheek and you are quick to catch it with your thumb. ,,It's okay Billie, it's not your fault'' you assure but the medium knows you are wrong. She should have looked after you, stayed with you and looked after you better. This is exactly what your other two girlfriends had been implying and that makes her feel even worse. ,,It is'' she mutters quietly and Billie was so lost in her daze that she never noticed your state, how pale you are, that your whole body is still shaking, the pain on your shoulder unbearable and your hands covered in blood from the glass and trying to open the door frantically. ,,I promise Billie it's okay, we can just forget about it'' you encourage her but she remains silent, struggling with the guilt of what had happened.

By the time you both make it home, you both notice Wilhemina's car in the driveway, unaware how long this whole thing actually took and how long you had been gone. Billie looks at your face, still so lost in her feelings that she doesn't notice your physical state. ,,We don't have to mention it promise'' you encourage and she simply nods as the two of you walk inside the academy. Now, the shock had momentarily made you forget about the pain and the state your body is in and so it's no surprise as the two of you walk inside, when both Wilhemina and Cordelia's face drop seeing your state. Cordelia's eyebrows furrow as they both walk over to you, Billie following behind.

,,Oh my gosh, you're bleeding'' Cordelia shrieks, quickly taking your bloody hands into her own, the blood staining her and some pieces of glass still stuck in your hands. Wilhemina takes one look at your painful face, quickly noticing the signs of shock as your knees and hands are shaking. You remain silent before looking into Cordelia's eyes, trying your hardest to force a smile. ,,I'm fine I promise'' you reassure but they are having none of it. ,,I just fell that's all'' you try to lie, not wanting to have Billie getting the blame but again they can see right through you. ,,Sit down'' Cordelia orders as she takes you in the kitchen, Wilhemina and Billie following, as the medium leans against a counter, lighting a cigarette in frustration.

,,What the hell did you do?'' Wilhemina's yelling ripples through the air, causing you to shake in Cordelia's arms as she checks and begins treating your injuries with her magic. Billie pretends that the raising of her girlfriends voice doesn't affect her, simply shrugging as she takes another long drag. ,,Don't yell at me'' she warns, not in the mood for Wilhemina's usual antics and anger. ,,You need to tell me what happened Howard because when Y/N left this morning she was the happiest and now she is shaking, bleeding and it looks like she is going to pass out'' the redhead warns, controlling her voice after seeing Cordelia's warning expression.

,,It wasn't Billie's fault'' you somehow mutter out, fighting through the pain of your shoulder injury. All three heads snap towards you and you begin speaking again ,,Her coworkers played a dumb prank but Billie fired them as soon as she found out, it really wasn't Billie's fault'' you defend her and Billie's heart swells with pride, her eyes filling with tears as she knows she deserved every bit of this but appreciating nevertheless that you are trying to defend her. ,,What sort of prank sweetheart?'' Cordelia asks seriously before you glance at Billie and fill them in. ,,They asked me to get something from the basement and then locked me in there'' you admit and Wilhemina scoffs at hearing your statement.

,,But then where did this come from?'' Cordelia asks confused as she points out the cuts on your hand and the leftover glass she had pulled from it. ,,There was a spirit but Billie didn't know and got rid of it'' you admit And Wilhemina can't help but lose her temper again. ,,Really you left her alone? with a fucking spirit in the basement?'' Billie is in no state to deal with this and so all she does is collect her cigarettes before placing her hand on your shoulder in a comforting manner before walking past you. ,,I'm sorry babydoll'' she apologies again before disappearing outside, needing some air.

Wilhemina can't help but notice your flinching and pained expression when Billie had touched your shoulder and she tilts her head to the side a little before stepping closer to you. ,,Are you in pain little one?'' she asks and you shake your head but when your two girlfriends glance at each other, they know you are still trying to downplay the situation. ,,If you are in pain, you need to tell us sweetie'' Cordelia encourages and you hesitantly fill them in. ,,I tried to break the door open'' you admit and they both look at you seriously before Cordelia points towards your shoulder. You nod in confirmation and with gentle hands, she lifts your sleeve down, exposing your beaten and bruised shoulder. ,,God'' Wilhemina mutters, seeing the state you are in and feeling like she wants to kill those idiots that did this.

,,That spirit should be grateful it's dead because otherwise'' Wilhemina mutters and you can't help but break out in laughter, startling the two of them. ,,Sorry'' you mumble and Wilhemina smirks ever so slightly, Cordelia happy to at least see you smiling again. As she inspects your shoulder a little closer, she realises the extend of your injury and glances at Wilhemina who knows exactly what this means. ,,Sweetheart, your bone seems injured, I can fix it but magic like this can be tricky'' she explains and you listen intently to her words. ,,Can't you just fix it?'' you ask and she bites her lip before sighing. ,,I can but the way this magic works is the bone will heal itself, it's very quick I promise but can be very painful'' the supreme explains and you glance at Wilhemina who looks at you with so much concern.

While Cordelia prepares herself for the spell, Wilhemina passes you some water and encourages you to drink the whole thing. ,,Ready?'' the supreme asks and Wilhemina reaches her hand out to you which you take. ,,Ready'' you mumble, feeling a little nervous before her hand hovers over your shoulder before she begins chanting some latin words. At first the pain feels tingling, the initial pain even leaving before the excruciating pain ripples through your body. Your eyes begin swelling up and you can't help but let out the most painful scream, that causes both their hearts to ache. ,,Done'' Cordelia whispers, her own eyes filled with tears at knowing how much that must have hurt. ,,I'm so sorry sweetie'' she whispers as she cups your cheeks. Your eyes remain closed but as you open them again, you notice the absence of any pain, her magic working wonders as if none of this ever happened in the first place.

,,Better?'' Wilhemina asks, her expression almost unreadable and you nod before Billie comes rushing inside. ,,What happened?'' she asks, hearing your scream from outside and never having heard you like this before. ,,Cordelia fixed the bone that broke'' Wilhemina mutters without the slightest bit of emotion in her voice, Billie's eyes widening in realisation. ,,Sweetie are you okay? you look awfully pale'' Cordelia acknowledges as the colour quite literally drained from your face. ,,Yes.. I think I'm going to have a shower'' you say before standing up, not wanting to be anywhere around for the confrontation that was about to unfold between your girlfriends. They all watch as you walk away, their worried eyes following you and Cordelia can sense with her magic that a wave of dizziness was going to wash over you any moment. With quick steps she aids to your side as you hold onto the nearest wall. ,,It's okay, I'll help you darling'' she offers and she takes your hand, gently guiding you upstairs, knowing what this type of magic and the shock from before can have an impact on your body.

Cordelia‘s movements are gentle as she helps you upstairs, sitting you down on the bed before retrieving some clothes for you. She knows about your desire to shower after today but she also knows your body is in no condition to do so after the shock and her magic. She washes your face for you, gently dresses you in some pj‘s before tugging you into bed. As she watches you get comfortable, she feels conflicted, knowing you both needed her and the desire of not leaving you alone but she also knew her other two lovers needed her in order for the argument that was bound to happen not to escalate. „It really wasn‘t Billie‘s fault Delia“ you mumble, already feeling the tiredness from the day wash over you. „I know sweet girl“ she smiles before walking over and pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead.

„It‘s okay you can go“ you mumble, being able to tell how conflicted the blonde is feeling. And it almost brings tears to her eyes how well you know them, how kind and considerate you are. Now before the witch gets the chance to leave, the door opens and both of your heads snap in the direction, surprised when you see both of your girlfriends walking in together. You can tell by their expressions that Billie still feels guilty, that Wilhemina still feels angry but it‘s the way they walk in together, side by side, no distance between them that you and Cordelia can tell they had settled this among themselves. Billie remains silent, walking over to you as Cordelia checks in with Wilhemina, the redhead nodding as if to signal that all is well. „I‘m so sorry my sweet girl“ she apologizes again and knowing Billie you knew she would be sorry for a lifetime. „It‘s okay really Bills“ you encourage and she smiles contently before pressing a kiss to your cheeks.

„Now babydoll, me and Mina had a talk, considering the day you‘ve had, how about we order your favorite? you can have a little rest until it gets here and then we‘ll watch your favorite movie?“ your eyes sparkle at her statement and you glance at both Delia and Wilhemina who simply smile and encourage you to agree. „Yes please“ you beam, before sitting up excitedly, the tiredness suddenly gone. And so, the four of you find yourself in front of the TV a little while later, your favorite takeaway in your lap and your favorite movie playing in the background. You could tell there was maybe a conversation to come but by Wilhemina and Billie‘s causal bickering and joking you could tell everything was back to normal. After finishing your meal, Cordelia begins the dishes as Billie steals away for a smoke and you finally find yourself in the arms of your redhead lover.

„I‘m glad you‘re okay little one“ she whispers as her fingers trace patterns on your back. You smile as you nuzzle into her further, seeking her warmth and she wraps you closer, being able to tell. „Sooo“ you begin and by your tone of voice she can tell whatever you are about to say will make her smirk in that all too familiar way. „Does this mean I can come to work with you next?“ you smile cheekily and she simply raises an eyebrow before chuckling lowly. „Definitely not little one, if you think Howard‘s work is dangerous, you definitely don‘t want to meet my bosses“ and the two of you chuckle, Cordelia smiling from the kitchen having heard the interaction before melting into your girlfriend further.

[crimeronan]

quick dunmeshi thoughts now that it's been a few hours since i finished the manga:

chilchuck good. love a bitch.

i was hoping i'd have a new popular femslash ship i can write for but unfortunately the yuris are too sweet and fluffy for me. i need my sapphics to try to kill each other at least once :(

similarly: marcille did great being unhinged within the constraints of the genre but baby girl i wanna see you in a yellowjackets type setting SO BAD. set marcille free in an adult drama where she can do true atrocities. FOLDED TOO FAST GIRLIE I BELIEVE IN YOUR ABILITY TO SUCCUMB TO DARKNESSSSS DONT LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS!! DONT BELIEVE IN LOVE!!! DONT HAVE A POIGNANT MOMENT OF EMOTIONAL GROWTH AND ACCEPTANCE!! DONT COME TO TERMS WITH GRIEF!!!! DONT LET THEM CONVINCE YOU NOT TO DO ATROCITIES YOU ARE SO POWERFUL AND CAPABLE OF RUINING EVERYTHING FOREVER!!!!!!

wasn't attracted to laios except for in one single scene.

it was the one where he suffocated falin.

we're not going to unpack this.

izutsumi would be a blorbo if she wasnt just straight-up me.

as is though so many of her lines are things i have directly said aloud in real life conversation that i spent the whole time going "well. this is freaking me out."

kabru is an icon. love guys who play 3d chess

come to think of it, i'm pretty sure his relationship with mithrun is the only one that had any emotional impact on me whatsoever. cunt who can't feel dick about shit x bitch who's pissed off about it 5EVAAAAA

i still default to snack packs of cheez its and goldfish crackers to replace the meals i don't wanna cook. an entire 100-chapter manga about the love of cooking and eating has done nothing to improve my outlook on cooking and eating.

sorry senshi. :(

[takami-takami]

Hi everybody! Sits down with you all in a circle.

So, I have been putting off making this post for a while. Mostly because I was just nervous to do so, and had originally wanted this to be a like, casual-tip-jar type situation. But unfortunately, a lot of life events are happening and I feel the need to explain.

Basically, there are two facets to the situation!

First, my family's financial situation is not looking good. My mother works long hours and comes home at 7:00 pm every day, but even that isn't enough to cover the bills anymore. With the amount of debt we're in, she has had to take a second job on the weekends, meaning she will have no days off. This breaks my heart, as she's already been through enough and I don't like seeing her so stressed like this.

Second, I'm trying to find a way out of living here. Living with my abuser (my father) has caused me a great deal of suffering and hinders my ability to heal. After a recent traumatic event, I decided I need to move out sooner than my original plan of doing so after I graduate next year for the sake of my mental health. In order to do this, I will start working in addition to school around December. I have an oppurtunity to work as a home health aid with flexible hours so I can keep my internship (which I am very excited for!!!), but it will take a while to get certified.

So all that concludes to... I need money lol.

First off, I want to make it explicitly clear: do not feel pressured to send in any money whatsoever.

Think of this like. A tip jar for this page! If you wanna leave a tip after reading my writing, or just want to leave a little bit for any reason, I would be so very grateful. But I will also be grateful if you can't, because just you being here in this lovely little community has meant more to me than you will ever know! Every like and comment and interaction is priceless and I hope you know that. <3

Anyways. If you donate $19 or more, I will draw you a sketch of a character of your choice as thanks! Here are some examples yippeeeeee!

And yes, I am comfortable drawing spicy content for $24 or more. 👀 No Hawks though. </3

Please dm me PRIOR to donating if you would like to recieve a sketch commission. <3

But anyways I love you guys mwah mwah!!!!!!! Anything helps. <3

[gutsby]

Ok sorry this might be long but I want to say that you are truly an all star in the joel fandom, guts. I read Seeing Pink like 3 times last week. Waiting game has changed my brain chemistry for fucking real. I think about it TOO much. I think I actually need to take a break from all the smut I read in general and all the smut i RE-READ too, waiting game definitely top of the list for the latter. If I ever do find the discipline to chill for a sec, I will STILL think fondly of our bestie reader and dbf joel in my moments to spare. The latest chapter was to die for, the angst killed me. I hope all will be well in their perfectly written fictional universe and, with love and respect and zero pressure, look forward to any future chapters we get!

Even though I just said I need to take a break from how much smut I read, unfortunately i've been peaking at some of the daryl fics and I've literally never fucking watched the walking dead lmao and based on what I've seen some of your other anons I've read, I may need to read Wedded Bliss even though I don't have a leg to stand on there either! The point is like YOU ARE A GREAT FUCKING WRITER.

I'm almost done ranting but I was wondering if it is not too intrusive to ask, are you a writer offline? Like is that your job or a job you hope to have? Not specifically asking where or in what capacity or anything but I was mostly just curious about the mastermind behind all this amazing writing we get. I am a big reader (of things other than smut, i swear, but that too obvi lol) and I have aspirations of little stories here and there. I saw your response to that anon who wants to write and it was so sweet. But I totally got where that anon was coming from. I have self doubt beause even though like for most people this is just a hobby, it's intimidating and wild that we've got people like you with the ability to be full blown fucking novelists in our midst on tumblr. Ok I'm done being crazy on main. Thank you again for everything for real for real for real!

With all due respect………I’M FUCKING SOBBING!!!!!

Thank you so much for this kind message!!!! 🩷🩷 It makes my week to hear what y’all think of what I write, and I’m so thankful to have people like YOU reading and rooting for these stories and characters - I’m continually in awe of you guys and everything you do and don’t deserve it. I hope to update WG very soon and keep their dumbass romance alive too!! 🫡🫡

And not intrusive at all! I don’t share a lot about my personal life on here, but I’m a lawyer! I work in the most boring ass practice area requiring zero creative writing whatsoever…..so Tumblr is a huge outlet for me LOL. I think it would be awesome to get published someday, but it’s more of a dream than a goal atp! I just like to write.

If YOUUUUU ever wanna start writing too, GO FOR IT!! I’ll try not to scream at you like I did the last anon but holy shit please write if you ever have the slightest inclination to do so—the world will be better for it, and you’ll learn and grow so much. Even if it’s scary. Even if it’s intimidating. Even if you don’t think your stories will “measure up” to what other people put out….WRITE IT!!! I cannot emphasize that enough.

Anyway thank you again from the bottom of my heart and I wish you the best of luck in life and writing!!! ♥️

[flying-fangirls]

Arthur's Story

Okay so now that Part 46 is out and we got that moment of John explaining what Arthur's train story meant to him, I kinda want to talk about this particular allusion myself. Arthur's retelling is mostly pretty close to the original, but I am going to get into interpretation/implementation stuff. So if you want to read the original story for full context, it's "Solitude" by Ben Ames Williams!

To start bluntly: I do not like the Lilly comparison /nm

I'm not saying it's wrong per se, but I do believe it's a fairly weak conclusion that misses out on a lot of other potential.

Let's back up.

Alright, so if you go and read it, you'll quickly see that the original short story, "Solitude," is ridiculously well-aligned with the tone and mood of Malevolent. There are ideas of cosmic insignificance, perseverance and despair, questioning morality and "goodness," and helping others in dark times. (it does have some of the weird hallmarks of early 1900s white dude writing, but otherwise I actually quite like this story! it's got nice vibes and pretty words)

Where It Falls Short

Now, an allusion is a reference within a story to an outside piece of information, and its entire purpose is to add new depth. A good allusion considers the full context of whatever it's referencing, and uses that context to its advantage. It challenges the audience to work through that outside context and uncover some new perspective(s) on characters, themes, and/or plot— something they otherwise had not seen or considered before.

The thing is, when Part 46 applies the "Solitude" allusion to Lilly specifically, there's nothing new gained whatsoever. What does John tell us during this moment?

Lilly took care of him, showed him his first glimpse of humanity, and gave him a name— all good stuff! But also all old stuff, these details have all been said in the show before, some more than once. Since we know that the main point of an allusion is to bring something new to the table, then this implementation fails on that point because all it's done is simply rehash previously established perspectives on Lilly.

Not only does this take on the allusion fall short, the show's interpretation also limits our ability to understand it. This isn't a moment where the podcast shows us new information and lets us draw our own conclusions. This is a moment where John stands in for the podcast's voice, and he tells us what it considers the "right" interpretation. Even if we had formed our own interpretation about this allusion, the show has now essentially told us that those interpretations are "wrong" (which isn't an antagonistic move on the show's part, by the way! just the message it's unconsciously implying)

I agree that John's connection between the story and his experience with Lilly in Part 46 is a genuinely sweet moment! But unfortunately, because it neglects to take a new path, it's also a predictable moment that loses its strength among all the other sweet Lilly moments. And that takes away any chance for the allusion to impact the audience in a unique way, wasting its full potential.

Where It Misses Out

(now here comes the English major moment when I tell you why I'm right and you're not /j)

Alright, again, the Lilly comparison isn't wrong. I think it's totally legitimate to see this story about a woman helping an injured and lonely man, and think of Lilly! But personally, when I heard Arthur's retelling, I never once considered Lilly until the show told me to (12 episodes later). When I listened to Part 29 and the first half of the story, I admittedly was totally lost and dug through those lines over and over to find a meaning. And the only real interpretation that naturally came to me was a parallel to Arthur and John's journey. A man lost in a terrifying world, at the whims of forces much stronger than him, who has lost all of his loved ones to death or abandonment? Yeah, that's literally just Arthur and John.

And the conclusion in Part 39 only seemed to support that interpretation more— Moll abandons her entire life to follow Mat into the cold and dark, John and Arthur both (literally and figuratively) throw their lives away to help the other through the dark. We can even swap who's who here— either Arthur or John could be Mat struggling to survive as a "good" person, and either one could be Moll extending a hand to that person.

There's also a particular line that John says in Part 46 that feels completely out of place with the interpretation the show tells us:

He implies that Lilly did the same as Moll and shut out everything around them. But when Lilly takes care of John in the hospital, his development there isn't that she "drove out the world." Lilly brought the world closer to John, not further away— she helped him expand his focus outward, not close it off.

However, this line does fit extremely well with John and Arthur's dynamic! How often have we heard about these two's edges blurring, about their minds and emotions and internal selves blending together? How many times have these two expressed a love so codependent that it rejects everything outside of themselves? Heck, John's major emotional plot in s4 revolved around the desire to shut out the outside world and isolate himself together with Arthur.

Just like how Moll's arrival drove out the world for Mat, the arrival of John into Arthur's life certainly drove out the rest of the world, pulling him away from his job, home, and friends. Likewise, the arrival of Arthur into John's life most definitely drove out the rest of the world, removing him from the legacy of the King and literal world of the Dreamlands.

The podcast tries to push its Lilly interpretation into a mold that it simply does not fit. And in doing so, it completely misses the perfect connection between Moll/Mat and John/Arthur that already exists. "Solitude" offers a naturally perfect bridge between its story and Malevolent's, but Part 46 steers us away from that bridge and straight into the river where we're left without any strong understanding or impact.

Where It Could Go

Not only does a Jarthur interpretation of Arthur's story connect the allusion to the podcast well, it also gives us a new perspective to think about Jarthur with (again, the most important part of a good allusion).

Earlier I said that Arthur's retelling of "Solitude" mostly followed the story, and that's because he leaves out one key detail: Moll had spent most of her life trapped as the victim of abusive men who forced her to neglect herself and care for people who didn't care for her back. (Admittedly, I think it's weird the show ignored this specific detail, but most allusions do intentionally require outside work on the audience's part, so for now I'll hesitantly just say that was Guthrie's aim.)

If we consider this backstory in our interpretation, we can find a really fascinating view of Jarthur's dynamic. Both Arthur and John could be Mat: a man who has seriously harmed others before and is now left broken and lost in a dangerous world. Then we can have John as Moll: trapped by the King and the Dark World and Arthur's body, powerless to take control of his own self, forced to neglect his identity/values for others' wants. And we can have Arthur as Moll: stuck in relationships/lifestyles that restrict him, autonomy stolen by social expectations and eldritch beings with far more power than him. Both of them as Moll: escaping a past of abuse, but nevertheless still finding yourself in a position of supporting men at the cost of your individuality.

A Jarthur interpretation frames Arthur and John's pasts in a concept of abuse and neglect, which is not usually (if at all) how the podcast presents their backstories. It also forces us to reconsider the full scope of their dynamic with each other. Normally the show presents Jarthur as a messy, yet overwhelmingly restorative and supportive relationship. However, when we place Jarthur into the context of Moll, we are forced to stop and acknowledge how their dynamic still harms them both: They're codependent to a self-destructive degree, protective enough to harm anyone else who gets close, so closely connected that they lose a part of who they are for the other's sake. Neither one of them exist as a wholly independent individual anymore, both of them losing pieces of their minds, emotions, and bodies to accommodate for the other's needs.

While s4-5 John and Arthur are clearly at a point in their relationship where they openly express their love and gratitude to the other for "saving" them, this allusion presents us with a perspective on their situation without the rose-colored glasses. We have the opportunity to recontextualize their dynamic and remember just how much Arthur and John have lost for the sake of each other, no matter how loving and compassionate that sacrifice might be in their eyes.

Where I Conclude the Ramble

From the moment Arthur first told this story in Part 29, its ambiguous inclusion captivated my little overthinking brain. It was incredibly fascinating to mull over Arthur's words and John's reaction, and then to dig deeper into this obscure story outside of the podcast and uncover answers!

Which is why I think I'm so disappointed with the final answer that Part 46 told us. If anyone else has looked into "Solitude" outside of the podcast before, they likely saw the same well of potential depth to work with that Harlan Guthrie clearly also found. Yet, for some reason, the podcast offers a conclusion that barely scrapes the surface of that well.

Instead of giving us new depth to the story, a Lilly interpretation really just brings up more questions for us. Did Lilly neglect herself in some way when she took care of John? Was Lilly the victim of abuse at some point in her past? What parts of Lilly's past led her to this point? There's so much more information that we need for this layered allusion to make sense, but we never get that information, so all we're left with is a weak conclusion and wasted potential.

On the other hand, a Jarthur interpretation does answer questions for us, and it adds depth to our previous understandings of their dynamic. We better understand how John and Arthur's bad decisions lead them to their darkest moments, how lost and afraid they both felt at the start of the podcast, how they found relief and protection in the other. And we consider new possibilities of how John and Arthur's past circumstances abused them, how they were trapped in cycles that stole their autonomy, how they still cannot escape these cycles and keep throwing their lives away for others.

Part 46 told us a single interpretation to have for the train story, but there is no reason we can not (nor should not) look for other interpretations— especially when the story itself shows us evidence that points to a different answer.

(final disclaimer: I absolutely do not intend any of this as any sort of attack! this is just general literary critique to try and explain why I'm a little annoyed at a single line lol)

[kallie-den]

A Commanding Weakness Ch. 10

Uma Vilchis, the Inyx's mess officer, is the last to fall - and Wasp decides to have some fun giving the plump cook a brand new fetish

If you like my writing, please consider supporting me on Patreon!   For less than the price of a cup of coffee each month, you can get   immediate, early access to everything I write - along with exclusive stories and the ability to vote on what I write next. Your support helps  me keep writing and is greatly appreciated

---

“There we go,” Dr. Hiraga told the mess officer lying in her examination chair. “All done.”

Mess officer Uma Vilchis yawned and stretched as she woke. She blinked a few times. For some reason, she was left with the persistent impression of bright, swirling lights shining straight into her eyes.

“Huh,” she said sleepily. “That really was painless.”

“Is that what people have been saying?” Dr. Hiraga smiled professionally as she made notes on her dataslate.

Uma nodded. “I’ve been hearing all about it for weeks.”

“Weeks,” Dr. Hiraga repeated, raising an eyebrow. “Yes, I suppose it has been, hasn’t it? I’ve been too busy to keep track, but we’re finally almost done with the imp- I mean, the inoculation. You’re pretty much the last one.”

“The last one.” Uma sighed as she sat up. “Isn’t that just typical?”

“I’m sorry?” Dr. Hiraga said, taken aback.

“Oh, it’s fine.” Uma shrugged. “It makes sense. I guess the mess officer really is about the last person who needs an inoculation against some kind of alien virus.” She visibly bucked herself up and slapped a forced smile on her face. “My apologies, doctor. I shouldn’t make any of this your problem. I’m just… well, it’s been a long tour. Not a lot of excitement involved for someone like me.”

Not a lot of excitement back home either, although Uma left that part unsaid. The source of Uma’s maudlin mood was simple: she was bored and felt hopelessly overlooked. A solution, unfortunately, was far less simple. As always, Uma tried to focus on her responsibilities as mess officer. On good food, and on being a warm and friendly face to all the weary crewmen who came to the Inyx’s mess hall for rest and succor. Uma liked to think that she played a small but critical part in keeping morale high and making sure the ship continued to operate at peak performance.

But keeping the smile on her face was getting harder and harder. The long tour was wearing on people. The crew was tired and irritable. They didn’t want to chat with their friendly mess officer. And lately, there had been another change in mood, growing steadily with each passing day. Uma couldn’t quite put her finger on it, but it was like everyone else was in on a secret joke Uma simply wasn’t privy to.

Most of the crew were probably hoping that their mission would come to an end soon and that they’d be able to return home and see their friends and families again. For Uma, though, that prospect offered little comfort. She had a family, yes. Kids, even.  But in recent years, her personal life had seemed just as unrewarding as her professional one. It wasn’t bad, exactly. Just like being the mess officer on the Inyx wasn’t bad.

Uma just needed a little excitement in her life.

“Not a lot of excitement, huh?” came a voice. “Why don’t I help you with that?”

Uma looked around sharply. She could have sworn that she and the doctor had been alone in medbay, but now there was a third woman in the room with them. Uma couldn’t imagine where she might have come from. It was like she had just appeared out of thin air. Strangely, Dr. Hiraga had no response whatsoever to the stranger’s sudden appearance.

Stranger still, there was something familiar about her. Uma could have sworn she recognized her from somewhere. Was she on the crew? She didn’t look like it, not with those technopunk clothes and that unruly, electric green hair. Maybe she had been in one of the briefings that the captain circulated from time to time. Uma barely paid attention to those. They weren’t particularly relevant to the mess hall, after all.

“Hi,” Uma said, for want of anything better to say. “Do I know you?”

“Sure you do,” the punk woman promised as she slouched her way across the room. There was something distinctly sleazy about the way she spoke. “I’m the… uh… how about the ‘uniform compliance officer’?” She snickered. “Yeah. I’m that.”

Uma stopped trying to smile. Something was clearly wrong here. “That doesn’t make sense. The Alliance doesn’t have uniform compliance officers.”

The woman just winked mischievously and lifted her hand with a flourish. “You do now.”

She snapped her fingers.

At once, the room around Uma disappeared, drowned out by a vast, spinning, kaleidoscopic pattern that immediately tugged at her will, promising to steal it away. With her last few moments of consciousness, Uma reflected that, before, she’d been wrong. The lights hadn’t been shining into her eyes. They’d been coming from behind them.

Then, even that thought was gone. The holo-implant Dr. Hiraga had just planted in Uma’s brain drowned out her conscious mind, leaving her nothing more than an empty vessel for whatever thoughts and feelings Wasp wanted to pour into her.   And once Uma was completely hypnotized, the spiral began to pour. Shifting with every passing instant, it encoded its visual pattern with layers and layers of information that swiftly reprogrammed Uma’s mind. The implant had long since been perfected. It admitted no resistance. Within just moments, Uma’s deeply-formed ideas about propriety, hierarchy, and common sense were all formed anew.

Eventually, the implant switched off and Uma returned to consciousness. Blearily, the mess officer rubbed her eyes. The lingering effects were far worse than those of the procedure.

She frowned, confused. The lingering effects of what?

“I’m… I’m sorry,” she said slowly, to the strange woman still standing in front of her. “I must have… I must have… um…”

“Don’t worry about it,” the woman offered a touch impatiently. “I was just telling you, I’m the uniform compliance officer. Uniform Compliance Officer Wasp.”

“Wasp,” Uma echoed slowly. Why did that name sound so familiar? Then she remembered, and it all fell into place. Of course it was familiar! Uma rose to her feet and saluted stiffly, embarrassed at her lapse of memory. “Uniform compliance officer! Forgive me.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Wasp said. She was grinning from ear to ear. “At ease.”

Uma relaxed gratefully. Still, she couldn’t help but wonder why the uniform compliance officer had come here, of all places. Moreover, though, she was simply embarrassed to have forgotten about her at first. Forgetting about such an important, high-ranking officer was a major faux pas. Fortunately, Wasp didn’t seem inclined to pull her up on it. Instead, she swiped the dataslate out of Dr. Hiraga’s hand and started reading it. The doctor still didn’t react.

“You’re… right, the mess officer!” Wasp nodded slowly. “Uma Vilchis. I remember you from the crew roster. Not from the holodeck, though. Not much of a fantasy life, huh?”

“I suppose not, sir,” Uma replied.

“That’s kind of a shame.” Wasp made a point of looking Uma up and down, plainly ogling her body. She wolf-whistled appreciatively. “I wish we’d gotten to know each other sooner. Could have had some fun with you. There aren’t a lot of women built like you on military starships.”

Uma shifted uncomfortably. The way Wasp was talking to her and looking at her seemed unmistakably sexual and inappropriate - but who was she to question such a high-ranking officer?

“Well, you know what people say, sir,” she laughed nervously. “Never trust a skinny cook.”

As mess officer, that distrust was one thing Uma never had to worry about. Uma was visibly, undeniably full-figured and plump, and always had been. It was all over: her face, her chest, her belly, her thighs. Uma was, quite simply, fat. She didn’t dislike it, even if it sometimes made her self-conscious. Her figure had always been natural to her - not helped, admittedly, by the same love of food that had guided her to becoming a mess officer. A pair of pregnancies had only made matters worse, although, from the whispers that reached her ears, Uma understood that there were more than a few women aboard the Inyx who quietly appreciated the way the extra weight sat on her hips and her ass.

It was, admittedly, true, that her physique wasn’t quite up to military regs. But even stern commanders like Captain Vasser tended to let that particular regulation slip. Nobody wanted to see a skinny cook in the mess hall — and besides, it wasn’t like she was in any danger of being sent into combat.

“Anyway,” Uma added, hoping to put an end to Wasp’s scrutiny. “I think you’ll find my uniform entirely up to code, sir.”

“Hm,” Wasp mused. “Yeah, actually, no. It’s not.”

“It’s not?” Uma blinked, dismayed. She didn’t understand. She was always fastidious in her presentation. She looked down at herself, but saw nothing amiss.

“See, there’s actually a brand new uniform for the mess officer.” Wasp’s grin somehow widened still further. She could barely keep herself from cackling. “It’s just come into force. It’s meant to help liven things up a bit. That’s why I’m here, actually. To bring you up to speed.” She threw an arm around Uma’s shoulder. Uma was too distracted to register that she was a hardlight hologram. “Come with me. Let’s get you fitted.”

***

"D-d-d-,” Uma stammered, blushing so deep she thought her face would melt as the sheer, unrelenting embarrassment she felt robbed her of her words, “d-d-do I h-h-have to?”

“Yes,” Wasp replied impatiently. “It’s the new uniform. Now, hurry up!”

Hands trembling, Uma could only nod meekly and keep working the long, red, soft rope around her own body. Completing the ties - the shibari, Wasp had called it - hadn’t been easy. It was all new to Uma, but she was good with knots, at least, and Wasp had been a very insistent teacher. 

As she wrapped the latest length of rope around her thigh, pulling it tight so it pressed into her soft flesh, Uma once again checked the diagram Wasp had pulled up for her on the dataslate. It was exacting, and following it had taken forever. Uma couldn’t believe how long these regulations were getting, and she didn’t understand why they were being posted on illicit holonet sites - but who was she to question the uniform compliance officer? At least it seemed like she was almost done, but Uma wasn’t sure if that was a curse or a blessing. On the one hand, Uma was keen to put this humiliating ritual behind her.

On the other, if she kept going, she’d at least have more rope covering her body up.

Once Uma finished the knot, Wasp stepped back, looked the mess officer up and down, and clapped her hands together out of sheer glee. “Oh, yes! Looking good, girl.”

Uma wanted to shrink into her own skin.

“I c-can’t,” she bleated. “Y-you expect me to g-go out there? L-like this?”

All the way down her torso and around her hips, Uma was bound tight with rope. It fell about her in symmetrical loops, artfully designed to best accentuate every aspect of the female form. The ties around her breasts pinched and lifted them, making them seem bigger, more prominent, infinitely soft and inviting. Across her stomach, the rope was worked into a diamond pattern, like netting, drawing attention to the pale, alluring skin beneath. Around her hips, the ropes pulled tight, pressing against Uma’s curves and reminding her of their presence with every step.

On any woman, they would have looked unmistakably sexual. On Uma, it was on another level.

At Wasp’s instruction, Uma had pulled the ropes particularly tight around her prodigiously soft body. The effect was magnificent. Everywhere, Uma’s plump body bulged visibly between the gaps in the ropes. It was like she was begging for all who saw her to reach out and sink their fingers into her needy, yielding flesh. Around her stomach, it was especially visible. The rope bondage acted like lingerie, framing and shaping Uma’s belly. It made her look like the very image of fertility.

Nothing could have been more desperately embarrassing.

“It’s your uniform, Miss Vilchis,” Wasp drawled, rising to her feet. “What kind of Alliance officer objects to their uniform?”

“It’s… that’s…”

Uma’s mouth kept moving, but her brain froze up, paralyzed by the absurd contradictions in what she was hearing. It was ridiculous for rope bondage to serve as a military uniform. And yet, it did. That was what the uniform compliance officer was telling her. She could not think otherwise.

“B-but…” Uma said frantically, searching for any way out. “It’s… it’s indecent!”

“Indecent?” Wasp laughed. “Is that any way to talk about your uniform?”

Uma squeaked. “N-no, sir!”

“You should be proud of your uniform!” Wasp declared. “Isn’t that right?”

Uma turned an even deeper shade of red and nodded miserably. “Y-yes, sir. But… I… proud?”

Wasp shrugged, a cruel smirk writ large on her face. “I simply don’t see the issue.”

Uma squeezed her legs together and shivered as she felt rope rubbing against her skin. She knew Wasp was right — she was in charge of uniforms, after all — but she couldn’t help reaching for excuses all the same. “B-but it might… wouldn’t it��� um… d-distract the rest of the crew?”

Wasp sighed theatrically. “Maybe, admittedly, this is just a little bit too early for something quite so… open. Even if the rest of the crew have been implanted, they aren’t broken in quite yet.”

Uma had no idea what she was talking about, but a sigh of relief was on her lips as she sensed Wasp’s resolve wavering.

“Fine,” Wasp said eventually. “Have it your way.”

“I can wear a different uniform?” Uma asked hastily.

“Oh, no.” Wasp’s smirk returned with a vengeance. Uma couldn’t help but be struck by the feeling that she’d stepped into some kind of trap. “Not quite.”

Just a few minutes later, Uma was walking gingerly through the Inyx’s corridors, heading for the mess hall - and desperately praying that her embarrassment didn’t show in her face.

They can’t see, she told herself. They can’t see what I’m wearing.

“Good afternoon, Uma!” someone called out, as Uma rounded a corner. A crewman. Uma didn’t know their name, but she did recognize them. A regular friendly face at the mess.

“G-good afternoon!” As she replied, Uma tried her hardest to sound casual. It didn’t work. Her voice was an octave higher than usual.

Mercifully, the crewman didn’t comment. A strange look passed over their face, but they kept walking without saying another word.

Uma sighed with relief - but her relief was dashed as soon as she walked past another vent, and felt a breath of cool air passing over her skin. It was an unpleasant reminder of just how naked she truly was.

She was still dressed in the uniform Wasp had prescribed for her: intricate, bright red rope bondage, artistically wound around her entire body. The only difference was that nobody else could see it. Before sending her down to work her regular shift at the mess, Wasp had issued Uma with a portable holographic projector which, attached to one of the ropes on her torso, projected a perfect simulacrum of her old, standard-issue Alliance uniform.

In a way, it was an ideal solution. Uma’s modesty was perfectly preserved.

And in a way, it solved absolutely nothing.

For instance, as Uma arrived at the mess and busied herself preparing meals for the crew who were just about to come off their shifts, she found she couldn’t quite ignore the way one of those ropes snaked up between her thighs and pressed against her sex every time she moved.

More and more, it was becoming a distraction. A sharp bite of unwelcome pleasure that nipped at her over and over again, threatening to turn her words into moans and fill her face with unwholesome color.

Why did she have to wear this under the hologram? Uma kept asking herself that question. And she kept reminding herself of the only answer she had:

It was her uniform. She had no choice.

All Uma could do was take deep breaths in a bid to stay calm as she started serving the crew of the Inyx their meals. One by one, the weary crewmen came to queue up in front of Uma so she could dole out the meals she had carefully prepared earlier that day. As usual, most of them had little more to offer in return than a nod or a half-grunted acknowledgment. Normally, that would have gotten on Uma’s nerves.

Now, she was desperately thankful.

They couldn’t see what she was wearing. But reminding herself of that did Uma little good when she could still feel the cool air against her bare skin all over her body. When she could still feel the ropes. Whenever Uma looked down at herself, the illusion seemed paper-thin.

She was naked. Worse than naked.

And it was driving her crazy.

Every new face became a source of excitement. Every interaction became a fight to keep a cool, composed demeanor. It didn’t matter what she told herself. Her brain would not accept that she was clothed. It knew the truth and screamed it at her, drawing sweat from her brow and slapping an uneven, nervous smile on her face.

“Hey, Uma!” came a familiar voice. Uma looked up and recognized a crewman — Rhea — who always took the time to chat. “How’s your shift treating you?”

“G-good!” Uma squeaked, then winced. Her voice was horrifically uneven, and elicited a perplexed look in response. Uma’s anxiety doubled. She felt it in her gut as a tight knot. “Um. How’s… yours?”

“Fine, I guess,” Rhea replied. Normally, their exchange might have ended there. But it was too late. Uma had aroused her close attention. “You OK? You seem a little… off.”

“N-nope!” Uma tried even harder to control her voice. It only made matters worse. “I-I mean… yes! I’m OK. Just… um…”

She tried to think of an excuse. Her mind short-circuited. The only thought thundering through her head was a single conviction, irrational but all-consuming.

She can see. Rhea can see. She can see everything.

Rhea’s eyes flicked up and down over Uma’s plump physique. Uma could feel them stabbing into her, sharp as needle points. They seemed to strip away the ephemeral guise of the hologram, leaving Uma’s tender, soft flesh bared for the shocked, lustful gazes of all who had come to the mess.

“We’ve been out here so long,” Rhea offered sympathetically. “Maybe you should take a little more rec time? I’m sure the captain would-“

A cough from somewhere back in the queue interrupted them. “Hurry up!”

“Oops.” Mercifully, Rhea hurried along, freeing Uma from her scrutiny. “Sorry!”

Uma only had a moment to gather herself before she needed to serve the next crewman. As she did, she was panting. She couldn’t center herself. She just kept falling into the desperate thrill of her new uniform.

Then it occurred to her: wasn’t this exactly the excitement she had been craving?

She choked down on the thought at once, guided by two contradictory impulses. One told her sternly that she wasn’t the kind of pervert who would take excitement from something so utterly humiliating. The other whispered that she was exactly that kind of pervert if she found something as mundane as her uniform sexually humiliating.

Uma frowned, assailed by a moment of dizzy confusion. It was like she was on the cusp of grasping some deeper truth - but it never came.

And with the seemingly never-ending queue of hungry crewmen, she had no time to dwell on it. Uma turned to serve the next, and the next, and the next, and with each one, the anxious heat in her body only grew and grew. By the time the next familiar face appeared at the counter, the rope between her legs was pressing so hard against her cunt, every movement was blissful agony.

“Good day, Uma,” said Lieutenant Kuznetzov, greeting the mess officer with a warm smile. “Everything running smoothly as usual?”

It was only recently that Lieutenant Kuznetzov had become one of Uma’s reliably friendly faces. Before, she’d been one of the least approachable of all; a butch, imposing woman with an unreadable face and no words to offer but criticisms. Now, she was unfailingly bright and sunny. She’d grown her hair out into an appealing bob, set off against a full face of makeup. Instead of her uniform, she wore a pretty little dress that set off all her body’s feminine features.

Or was that simply her uniform now? Uma couldn’t be sure.

“Of c-course,” Uma whimpered. As unthreatening as she was now, Lieutenant Kuznetzov’s eyes still felt like hot knives. Uma shivered all over, and felt the ropes more keenly than ever.

Again, Uma’s voice betrayed her plight. She just couldn’t keep it even, not when she was experiencing such constant stimulation. When Lieutenant Kuznetzov gave her a surprised look, Uma thought for sure she was going to be discovered. Surely there was no way someone as perceptive as the lieutenant would fail to notice that something strange was going on with her. But as Lieutenant Kuznetzov looked, Uma started to realize there was something off about her gaze. It was dull, somehow; glazed over, lacking all of its usual sharpness. If Uma hadn’t known better, she would have sworn that Lieutenant Kuznetzov was somehow tranquilized.

As if to confirm her suspicions, the searching look on Lieutenant Kuznetzov’s face eventually slackened into a dull, agreeable smile. “You look nice,” she said, before she took the tray of food Uma was holding out for her and moved along.

It was a banal comment, but it still set Uma twitching with a fierce mix of emotions. She looked nice? What did that mean? Had Lieutenant Kuznetzov noticed something? Uma peered at a nearby metal counter, studying her reflection. She looked normal, didn’t she? Didn’t she?

As far as Uma could tell, her holographic guise was holding up well. There was no hint of the binding ropes beneath. But that didn’t mean Uma looked normal. Far from it. As she looked into the makeshift mirror, Uma was struck by the dumb, nervous grin that refused to slip from her face, and by the hint of lurid color in her cheeks. Even if the ropes didn’t show, the thrill certainly did. Uma was glowing with it.

She looked good.

That simple observation set Uma’s heart aflutter. What did that mean? Why did she look so good like this?

And why was she enjoying it so much?

It was just a uniform, she told herself. Just a uniform. Nothing more. Uma’s brow furrowed. Once again, the blatant contradictions started to gnaw at her. If it was just a uniform, why was she so turned on? If it was just a uniform, why did she feel the need to hide it?

It was almost like-

“How’s it going, babe?”

Uma blinked, startled by the voice. She looked over and saw exactly what she had been afraid of. It was Wasp.

The uniform compliance officer.

As she looked Uma up and down, a ravenous look in her eyes, Uma made herself stand up straight, even though it forced the rope between her legs to press even deeper into her sensitive cunt. Her hands at her sides, she tried to subtly pull on a few ties here and there, arranging them to be just so.

She needed to look her best. Her uniform had to be perfect.

“Very good, sir,” Uma managed, just barely not moaning. It was far from the truth, of course, but it wouldn’t do to complain in front of such a senior officer.

“Great, great,” Wasp drawled. She seemed to be able to see straight through the holographic projection of Uma’s old uniform. Uma didn’t think to question that, although she did notice that Wasp seemed to be holding something behind her back. “You look… mmf. Good enough to eat.”

Uma shivered. She felt herself soiling the rope with her wetness. “T-thank you, sir.”

“But, see, I’m actually here ‘cause I forgot something,” Wasp added swiftly. “There’s, uh, an extra regulation. Something else you need for your uniform.”

“What is it?” Uma asked. The grin on Wasp’s face made her feel like she was stepping on a land mine just by asking.

“Here!” Wasp declared, and revealed the object she was holding with a gleeful flourish.

It was a dildo.

Uma was instantly, utterly aghast at the object. A hundred different protests immediately rose to her lips. This was absurd. A dildo wasn’t part of any kind of uniform. It wasn’t clothing at all, it was a sex toy. This was degrading. Humiliating. Where did Wasp get her authority from? Since when did the Inyx have a ‘uniform compliance officer’? Was that even a real position? Shouldn’t she speak to the captain about this?

Then, almost as quickly, the protests were smothered by a logic that was equal parts foreign, ridiculous, and utterly implacable.

Wasp was the uniform compliance officer. That meant she was in charge of uniforms. And Uma needed to wear her uniform.

Suddenly, as perturbed as Uma was by the object in Uma’s hands. She couldn’t help but yearn for it.

Her uniform simply wasn’t complete without the dildo.

That didn’t mean she wasn’t embarrassed, though. She was. Deathly so. Uma’s cheeks burned bright scarlet as she ushered Wasp toward the privacy of the ship’s galley.

“S-sorry, sir,” Uma whispered. “I… I hadn’t realized. I’ll take care of it at once. Just… in private. Please.”

She was so flustered, she didn’t think to question the way Wasp simply phased through the counter to join Uma in the galley, out of sight of the queuing crew members. A few of them let out impatient sighs, but besides that, none of them seemed to take much notice.

Once the door to the galley slid shut, Wasp held the dildo out toward Uma. The mess officer took it gingerly, and her shame only grew once it became clear that Wasp fully intended to watch her.

Uma couldn’t protest against it. Wasp was the uniform compliance officer. It was her right.

All Uma could do was try to stifle a moan as she pulled the rope between her legs to one side and pushed the seven-inch dildo all the way inside herself.

She failed.

“S-s-sorry, sir,” Uma bleated after the shrill moan erupted from her lips. “It’s u-unprofessional. Sorry. I j-just-“

Her words died. She couldn’t think. The long, hard, silicone shaft inside her pussy was turning her legs to jelly.

“Don’t worry about it.” The lurid, smarmy look on Wasp’s face was all but manic. “New uniforms take a little breaking in, am I right?”

“Y-y-yeah,” Uma agreed breathlessly.

She tried to close her legs. That was a mistake. A sharp, electric shock of pleasure almost made her bend double. Uma tried to take her hand away and found that the shibari tie running between her thighs was taut enough to keep the dildo in place, resting on it.

Uma couldn’t breathe for panting. She could see stars. Her knees were weak. A few droplets of wetness trickled down the dildo and fell to the floor. Her heart was pounding. She had never been so feverishly excited.

“Great,” Wasp said, openly leering at Uma. “Then, I guess you’d better hurry up and get back to work, officer!”

"Y-yes, sir,” Uma whimpered, offering a weak salute. She took her duty seriously, of course, but she couldn’t imagine how she was going to be able to perform it now.

She turned to head back out to the counter, and the very first step she took almost brought her to her knees.

It was impossible to move without working the toy even deeper inside her body, pressing ever more insistently against the most sensitive parts of her. Uma couldn’t even minimize the pleasure without resorting to an awkward, bow-legged gait that gave her away at once. All she could do was try not to let it show, but by the time she reached the counter, she needed to lean on it heavily just to keep herself upright. Uma’s every nerve ending was lit up, hypersensitive, ready to explode.

“Oh, just one more thing,” Wasp said, as she waltzed past Uma. “The regs say it needs to be switched on, too.”

Uma barely had time to process the significance of that before Wasp snapped her fingers — and the toy inside Uma’s cunt started to vibrate.

At once, Uma bent double and came.

She had already been on a hair trigger. The sensation of intense, merciless vibrations radiating from within her core was more than enough to push her over the edge. Uma saw white, and only managed to keep herself from moaning by expelling all the air from her lungs in a desperate, ragged gasp. For a brief moment, Uma forgot her shame and was carried away by the great wave of pleasure that ripped through her body.

Then, a voice called her back.

“Hey, can we get some grub already?”

Uma looked up, and as she saw the queue ahead of her, adrenaline flooded her veins and brought a goofy grin to her face. “S-sure!”

Her orgasm never quite seemed to end, as she forced herself back to the task of serving up hot meals to the Inyx’s weary crew. The pleasure stayed in her body, a constant current, ebbing and flowing whenever she moved. There was no escaping it. Every rope that dug into Uma’s chest, or her hips, or her belly, was a reminder. It all made her shame burn hot, lending a delectable thrill to each and every interaction. Every time someone so much as glanced at Uma, she was forced to ask: did they know? Could they tell?

And she had never felt more alive.

It was just so exciting. Now that her orgasm had thoroughly scrambled Uma’s better judgment, she couldn’t help but enjoy herself. For so long, every shift had been drudgery. But this was the farthest thing from boring. She was afraid of being discovered, yes, but it was a delicious fear. Something to be savored. For the first time in her life, Uma began to understand why people loved horror movies so much. It was just the same: the agonizing tension, building towards the inevitable plunge.

She couldn’t wait.

Uma was still embarrassed and ashamed, of course. Desperately so. She was a pervert. There was no denying it now. It was far too obvious. Instead, she faced a different dilemma. A different contradiction.

Did she really want to keep her uniform hidden? Or did she want to display it for the entire ship to see?

More and more, as Uma fought through her shift, she found herself dwelling on the question. It was an itch, growing and growing by measure. Now that her common sense had been dashed, the notion was all but irresistible. The ghosts of her inhibitions still held her back, warning about what people might think and what it might do to her reputation. But Uma was no longer sure she cared. She just wanted to take that plunge. To be seen. To cast aside the boredom of her life, once and for all.

How would it feel? What kind of look would she see in their eyes? Lust? Shock? Awe? Uma couldn’t wait to find out. Every time one of the crewmen glanced up at her, she was shot through with questions.

Could they see through her holographic disguise? Might it flicker out at just the wrong moment? Or could they hear something in her face? Could they read the unwholesome blush in her cheeks? Could they see the anguished, ecstatic yearning in her eyes?

Questions like that had been eating at Uma all shift. But now, they weren’t anxious. They were hopeful.

For some time, she went on like that, serving food to the Inyx’s crew with hands that trembled more and more with each passing moment. Her arousal grew and grew as the vibrator buzzed within her - but so did her disappointment, as the crewman failed to pay her the suspicion and attention she craved. Eventually, though, one of them paused to address her.

The engineer, Sai Kabir.

“Uma,” she said, stepping up to the counter. “A moment of your time? I wanted to speak with you about a few minor inefficiencies and maintenance issues relating to the galley equipment.”

A shiver of tension raced up Uma’s spine and she nodded, practically drooling as she did. “O-of course.”

She was familiar with Sai Kabir. The engineer was always cordial, if not friendly — and recently, it had been impossible not to take note of the way her chest had been bulging out from underneath her shirt. Uma couldn’t believe the mild-mannered crewman had been hiding assets like those and she couldn’t imagine what had persuaded her to start showing them off — but she had, more than once, been jealous of how the other members of the crew now stared at Kabir. And, secretly, of the blush that rose to Kabir’s cheeks when they did.

Now, though, the other woman seemed to be all business. 

"As part of our routine checks, in engineering we’ve been monitoring the power draw from different sections of the ship,” Kabir told her. “And I noticed some unusual fluctuations relating to your equipment down here. My guess is that the capacitor heating coils have started to suffer ion decay as a result of the unusual radiospheric activity out here on the rim.”

Uma just nodded dumbly, hoping it would seem like she could follow the engineer’s technobabble. In truth, her long words cascaded meaninglessly over the mess officer, adding to the busy noise that filled her head.

“However,” Kabir added, “it’s also possible that it’s due to an adverse feedback loop between your equipment and the surrounding cooling sinks. If they need to draw more power to counteract the ambient heat of the galley, and that power itself produces heat as it encounters resistance in some degraded reactor channels… well, I’m sure you can see the problem.”

“The… p-problem?” Uma panted. Talking was even harder than thinking. “O- of course.”

She really couldn’t. The vibrator in her cunt occupied all of her attention, and every time she twitched, the ropes wrapped around her luscious, plump body seemed to bind even tighter.

“Although…” Kabir’s brow furrowed, and the suggestion of scrutiny made Uma’s heart race. “Perhaps it’s a much more straightforward issue.”

“Y-you think?” Uma forced out. She wanted to moan. She wanted to moan so badly. “What, um, what makes you say-“

Kabir held up a finger to stop her talking. “Can you hear that buzzing noise?”

Uma quivered as another little orgasm tore through her.

“B-b-buzzing noise?” Uma bleated. “That’s n-not… um… I can’t…”

She was grinning. She could feel it. She couldn’t stop herself.

“You can’t?” Kabir suddenly leaned forward, bending over the counter. “It’s right there. Low-pitched. It sounds close. And kind of… wet?”

As she drew closer, Uma felt like her heart was going to explode.

“N-n-no.” Out of instinct, Uma denied it. “I don’t think… I can’t h-hear a-anything! Or maybe it’s the s-s-ship just, um, you know… settling?”

Though she was trying to head the engineer off, another part of her - a larger, deeper part - was begging Sai Kabir to look closer. To notice. To see Uma for what she was: a pervert, getting off on the secret under her hologram.

“It’s not that,” Kabir said at once. “No, it has to be something small. Maybe…” Suddenly, she glanced at Uma’s face and her frown deepened. “Uma, are you alright?”

“O-of course!” Uma squeaked. It was true, in a way. She was on cloud nine. Shame, anxiety, and arousal had all melded together into a dizzying euphoria that she could not escape. It was a kind of madness. “I’m j-j-just… busy!”

As Sai Kabir peered at her, closer and closer, an idea ignited and burned within Uma’s head. What if she just took off the hologram? She could, easily. It was right there, pinned to a rope running along her collar. Then, Kabir would see. She’d know Uma for what she was.

What kind of face would she make? Uma was dying to know.

She couldn’t help but be disappointed when Kabir suddenly drew back. “Of course,” she said apologetically. “You’re working, and I’m bothering you. Forgive me. We can discuss this later when you’re not so busy. Perhaps I’ll come back and we can find whatever’s making that buzzing noise.”

“Oh,” Uma said faintly.

She glanced at the clock and at the queue in the mess hall. The crowd was already thinning out. Surprisingly, it was beginning to look like Uma was going to make it through the entire shift without anybody discovering the secret of her new uniform.

Uma couldn’t take that. She couldn’t take being boring again. And so, driven by the never-ending surge of arousal within her, she made a promise to herself.

When the next person came up for their meal, Uma was going to take off the hologram covering her up.

Sai Kabir departed, and the next member of the crew started to approach. Seconds stretched out to what felt like an eternity. During each heartbeat, Uma was tormented by the knowledge of everything she had to lose if she went through with it — and everything she had to lose if she didn’t.

In the end, it was a snap decision. Before her better judgment could prevail, Uma’s hand reached up and snatched the miniature projector away from her collar.

The veil fell. In the brief moment before Uma’s vision became nothing more than a white blur, she saw the crewman’s eyes widen in palpable awe.

Uma knew at once what the other woman was seeing: Uma’s true self. The fat, bounteously curvy woman was, all over, tied up with ropes that made an unmistakable spectacle of her body. The crimson strands made a gorgeous contrast with her pale skin, making it look all the softer, all the more inviting. Her physique’s proportions, already mouth-wateringly plush, were only further accentuated by all the places in which the shibari ties pulled taut against Uma’s body. She looked incredible. She looked like erotic art.

But that was just the beginning.

Far more striking than simply her body was the look on Uma’s face. The look of unrepentant, ravenous need in her eyes. The shameful blush in her cheeks that made the perverse fetishism of her appearance undeniable. The way her lips were parted and wet, quivering with each panted breath. It made it all so clear. This wasn’t an accident or a mistake. Not something Uma had been forced into. This was something she loved. Something she craved. Now, everybody knew.

And there was no going back.

For Uma Vilchis, that was the best part of all.

Once her vision eventually cleared, she was finally able to get a good look at the woman standing in front of her. The woman she’d exposed herself to. It was Alara Hisarlik, the ship’s counselor.

“My, my,” the counselor purred. “What is the meaning of this, mess officer?”

Uma had no answer for her. She should have been terrified. Instead, the look of vicious, predatory interest in Alara’s eyes only heightened her pleasure.

She wasn’t boring. Not anymore.

More and more of the other crew members in the mess were starting to turn their heads and gawk at Uma. Some of them whispered, or blushed, or pointed. Uma welcomed it all. If not for the toy already in her cunt, she would have been touching herself.

“I think our sweet mess officer is experiencing some kind of… incident,” Alara announced loudly, licking her lips. “She’ll come with me to my quarters. I’ll take care of her. Don’t worry, Miss Vilchis. I’m told my new hypnotherapy program can be terribly effective.”

Uma nodded mutely. She could sense the intent behind Alara’s words. Clearly, this was no longer the wholesome, friendly counselor she remembered chatting with. That was perfectly fine with Uma. She welcomed whatever depraved plans Alara had in store for her.

It was just the kind of excitement she needed.

But as the two of them exited the mess hall and made for the turbolifts, Wasp appeared once again. Uma stood at attention, ready for her uniform to be inspected, but it wasn’t her Wasp had eyes for. The hacker grabbed Alara by the shoulders and hissed manically to her co-conspirator.

“Alara!” Wasp said. “We need to talk. Something big is happening.”

“Not now.” Alara shrugged her off. “I’ve just found a new subject.”

“No time!” Wasp shot back. “You can get to her later. This is huge!”

Alara frowned. “What is it? What’s happening?”

Wasp licked her lips, and Uma could tell if the look of mania in her eyes was born from fear or glee.

“I just intercepted a transmission,” she told Alara. “An admiral is coming to inspect the Inyx.”

---

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[yandere-romanticaa]

Whos the best daddy: oda, jingyuan or childe?

WELCOME TO THE DADDY OLYMPICS 🔥

I shall be your fine hostess for the evening so BUCKLE UP! We have a fine selection of men here, all amazing but do not be fooled by their charms, they are beyond deadly!! In the wise words of Mr Pedro Pascal "Daddy is a state of mind." and today, we shall find out which one of these three men has what it takes!

The first man we have is the 11th Harbinger, Tartaglia! Or Childe! Or Ajax! Or however the fuck you want to call him, he has too many names!! (One is enough my good Sir.)

Renowned as a family man, Mr Tartaglia writes letters to his whole family and loves all of his siblings very much, so much so that he is willing to lie in order to keep their dreams intact. While some people might argue what he is doing is wrong (and in a way they're right) but his intentions are always pure and just wants his family to have a good life.

What a gem of a man!

We are also aware that this man is LOADED, so his family or friends do not need to worry about any expenses whatsoever, regardless of how much they cost, Mr Tartaglia has you COVERED!

However.

As unfortunate as it may be, Mr Tartaglia simply lacks the certain finesse that your classic Daddy™ requires to have. His boyish charms are out of this world but they are indeed just that - boyish!

Besides, I personally believe that he'd be more of a "Sir" type of guy. "Sir" and "Daddy" are indeed powerful authority figures but there is a slight difference there.

The final ranking for Mr Tartaglia is 6/10. He is handsome and strong, but he's too much of a kind elder brother figure, or a "Sir" to ever truly quality as a Daddy. At least, that's what I think.

Oh boy, it's getting saucy now! 🥴🤤

This is general Jing Yuan, a man renowned for his lazy and carefree attitude but behind that smile is an incredible tactician who can strike like a lion at any given moment. Despite his attitude, be very, very afraid of him.

Isn't that just so sexy of him?

Tall, husky and sweet, Jing Yuan fits the mold of "Daddy" quite nicely. And to top it off, he has a young child under his care! Their interactions are heartwarming and precious, I can't stop staring at the screen whenever the two are on it and I know for a fact that I'm not alone there <333

His out of this world voice (I'm talking about the English dub) makes me melt - if he tells me to do something, I will do it.

No questions asked.

His authority as a general also gives him great power and leverage as well. A kind man who has the ability to crush anyone who gets in his way is always an amazing Daddy™!

I simply must give this beautiful general a perfect 10/10 score! 😍

And finally, the last man of the hour is the darling Oda Sakunosuke, or Odasaku for short! <33 :3

Where, oh where do I begin with this man? He has the blood of many people on his hands and yet, he managed to worm his way into the heart of the Port Mafia's youngest but most dangerous executive that has ever lived, which is nothing to scoff at I assure you.

While his status as a mafioso gives an air of uncertainty about his whereabouts and well being, it is safe to say that he, like Jing Yuan, is quite the Daddy™. Kind, caring but also incredibly humorous, he is the ideal package. Walks and coffee shop dates would be beyond interesting with this man and besides, I'm sure that his long and slender fingers will be good for other things besides writing! ;)

This man also takes care of an entire gaggle of orphans! Isn't he just amazing?!

Unfortunately, there is one glaring issue though -

His kids are dead!!

That's right you heard it here folks, his kids got blown up! Don't worry Odasaku, I'll be more than happy to give you as many kids as you want! Do you want a son? A daughter? Both??

My body is READY!

As much as I want to give this man a 10, his job and the fact that his kids are blown to bits knocks out a point. I'm sorry Odasaku, but your final ranking is a strong and massive 9/10.

Folks, this is where you step in! Yes that's right, YOU! YOU vote which one of these men is the ✨ ULTIMATE DADDY! ✨

[singswan-springswan]

can we get director’s commentary on Moonspell por favor?

ooooooh okay okay. tbh moonspell feels so long ago that I'm not sure I remember much of my thought process while writing, but let me make an attempt.

first of all: chapter titles. Usually when I write fics I don't bother with chapter titles ((((mostly because I don't often write multi-chapter fics but that's another thing altogether))))). For this fic, however, I wanted to use the lines of this one cool poem:

which influenced my final chapter count. I think I originally only planned to write three chapters but then I was like. well the poem has six lines. and I knew what I had to do. If you noticed, the second fic in the series depicting Ezra's monthly woes is also named after this poem.

You must know that the first chapter of the fic had me totally envisioning that diner scene from into the spiderverse. I wanted to immerse myself into the setting. backwater diner, at least a decade old or so, best burgers in town, etc. It's giving dark and quiet past the fluorescent lights and reflections in the glass. Kanan keeps seeing one of the inquisitor wolves in the flower bed over Ezra's shoulder and realizes that the kid is being stalked by Lothal's latest Problem People. Most of the plot from this fic was taken directly from the original imagine I wrote of the werewolf AU, which is in the first installment of the series and also floating around somewhere on my blog.

I really wanted to set the stage for future character dynamics. Really lay out the groundwork for plot development and Ghost Crew at large coming together slowly. Since the fic is written mostly from Ezra's perspective, most of the foreshadowing and allusions are vague and weird, because bro does not have context. Very subtle hints at what's going on, and I did do my best to write Ezra as someone honestly considering all the possible scenarios for these strange events with a perspective that does not include any supernatural influence whatsoever. wanted him to just be ??? the whole time.

It was really fun for me to write the dynamic between Kanan and Ezra. The two of them have nearly polar opposite experiences with lycanthropy. Kanan was raised in a massive pack, and Ezra has been on his own with his abilities hidden from him since before he could really remember. What seems obvious to Kanan would blow Ezra's mind. Kanan is the only person in a position to mentor Ezra, but he's also very resistant to this fact. He hasn't been living with Ghost Crew for the six years leading up to his first meeting with Ezra, since he and Hera split ways after the AU equivalent of A New Dawn, so bro is not a family man. He's just a tough charming bachelor lone wolf trying to mind his own business. Unfortunately, the plot loves him. Ezra on the other hand has grown up in foster care, assuming himself to be human on top of that. He's a nice enough kid, but he's a delinquent with a rap sheet at the local police department. He's been in and out of foster care for years. Most guardians get sick of him before long, and he expects Kanan to do the same, especially when Kanan doesn't even have an interest in starting a family.

All of these factors made for an understandable tension between them. I spent a lot of time trying to carefully tweak the dialogue and tonal descriptors so the readers could feel the friction early in their relationship but also be able to see their easy chemistry and how much they have in common.

I think I wrote the tire blow-out shortly after my own first experience having a tire explode while I was driving. Since the sounds and sensations at the time were not at all what I expected, my idiot shebs did not pull over for a solid mile and almost kriffed up the back axel. Luckily, Kanan's car flipped on its side and stopped him before he could make my mistake 👍rip ezra though he'd never been in a car wreck before. I like to think his thoughts on the matter were appropriate for someone of his age. Most amusing chapter in my opinion.

I really liked the chapter in the school cafeteria where Sabine complains about her family's hunt and warns her friends not to venture out on the night of the full moon. Admittedly, a lot of inspiration for this series came from Teen Wolf. I'm always one to appreciate a good highschool drama involving supernatural conspiracy (which doesn't turn out to be as deep or dramatic as the kids make it. think: adults and kids in the same town are living different genres of werewolf thriller). Part of that chapter was me trying to sketch out the mechanics of Sabine's hunter family operations, and again, Ezra's chronically-out-of-the-loop pov made that difficult. I also needed to establish Ezra's goon squad. He may play the part of the loner, but let's applaud this guy for having a solid four friends who could all do way better than him. Nixie is an OC I threw in there to fill up empty space. yes, I named her after my favorite mako mermaids character because I MISS her. anyways

Sabine being the popular girl punk sneaking weapons into school and putting her combat boots on the table scaring everyone including her closest friends has a very special place in my heart. Sabine deserved a dynamic high school experience okay my girl was SUFFERING at the Imperial Academy in canon I just know it.

Wanted to hype up the shift with a chapter of whump by putting Ezra through a mix of sensory overload and fever. headcanoning that moonspells do that to inexperienced werewolves. given again: Ezra's outside pov, the conversation between Zeb and Kanan is unsettling; not just because Ezra can hear it from two stories above them. I got a kick out of rubbing his obliviousness in. poor guy has been told nothing. that very specific vibe of mystery prior to main character enlightenment when everyone else seems to know what's going on was something I felt very appropriate to capitalize on.

On the flip side, when I got to Kanan's pov, I wanted to refrain from mentioning things in great detail because he already knows everything, and is instead only making vague references because none of this is nuanced to him. I think the only thing I really detailed from plot relevance for Kanan's pov was his relationship with Hera, which was important exposition to establish the high stakes in the scene (and lay some groundwork for their dynamic throughout the series). We got to emphasize more his attitude about the whole situation. again, Kanan does not want to be involved at all. Fortunately, a few pov chapters also highlight his sense of obligation. He's an unreliable narrator for insisting that he doesn't care when hopefully his actions show the opposite with an instinctual compassion and meticulousness. This version of Kanan is a lot more rough than the one Ezra meets in canon (mostly because he hasn't been living with Hera since he met her), and I wanted to reflect that with his attitude and behavior especially with the way he handles Ezra. I wanted all his softer moments to be fringe and allusive so I could spend future fics wearing him down.

Overall, the goal of this fic was to throw Ezra into the supernatural world with little explanation. Lots of setup for future shenanigans. world-building and slotting characters into their roles. cooking with a mildly funny but also weird unsettling vibe to go with Ezra's suspicions that he stumbled into a horror story. Kanan doesn't want to be the dad that stepped up he doesn't want to be a dad at all. betrayed by the narrative fr.

Thank you for the ask! I was actually just thinking about this series and it was fun to return to these musings for a bit. I forgot just how long this fic was until I needed to talk about what the kriff I was thinking.

always open to more requests!

[frozenambiguity]

Anonymous asked:

Hey, mun. What are your thoughts on heavier/proship content?

Ah. The question everyone keeps wondering about. Answer under read more because it got long.

Ooc; Hi there. Sorry it took me a while to reply, I have been a bit busy asdfgfds. To put it simply: I have no issues whatsoever with portraying heavier or darker concepts in fiction. I roleplayed for an entire decade in a fandom widely known as highly "problematic" content-wise, and I absolutely loved the characters and how wicked the plot could get (and if you know Diabolik Lovers, then you really know how wicked it can get). 

I think the main point here is the ability to distinguish fiction from reality. Writing a gruesome scene does not make you a violent person, for example. So, really, it is all about knowing your preferences and your partners' and respecting boundaries.

I strongly believe that, even if you enjoy something and someone else does not, that fact alone should not taint your entire relationship as a whole. You can still find other points of interest, without reducing your entire friendship to a specific topic you disagree about. But, again, I speak for myself. I know that, unfortunately, some people disagree and this is a red line for them. And that is okay — if so, we can go our separate ways.

As for the proship part, listen — I have been around for a long time. As such, I also know that people have different interpretations about what being "proship" means. Too many, in fact, to keep track of. So what I will say is that I follow the "ship and let ship" policy. Of course, people can have ships that they cringe a bit thinking about. But does that mean that one should straight up harass people or vague about them for it? No. Far from it. Again, it is all about knowing your boundaries. Will you stop being friends with an amazing person just because they view or write X and Y romantically? Not me. I can just — skip those types of posts in the dash, for example. Try to curate my space a little, because I can appreciate whatever else that person is bringing to the table. 

What I mean to say is, sincerely, I do not think our tastes in fiction define us as people. And another big sensitive topic here is that interpretations can be different. Cultures are different. People are different. I will write about this because it is relevant when it comes to Kaeya and I am pretty sure that is what you want to know: I do not care about fandom discourse, i.e. Ragbros vs KLK.

Some can view it as a familial type of bond and that is okay (though, please bear in mind that the entire thing about Kaeya being adopted is not real. It is a mistranslation, as they are sworn brothers and not adopted brothers. And I am being impartial here).

Why am I talking about this? Because of objectivity. You may view them as familial because that is your personal experience and you play the English version of the game and that is what you are comfortable with. And that is okay. But that does not mean that people who view them romantically are wrong or should be crucified or considered monsters.

I have seen KLK enjoyers being bullied to the point that they stopped writing the characters. Stopped drawing them. Lost their passion for something just because they knew they would be met with anger and intolerance. And now, just to be safe, they prefer not to create any content or address this type of topic because of backlash. They have to censure themselves because of others. And that is absolutely devastating. If you ever took part in any of this, I hope you reconsider your actions thoroughly. Fandom spaces are to be shared, not to be owned, "cleansed" or dominated.

To this day, in asian communities, KLK is considered the original BL clickbait couple of the game. And, to this day, they still are a very famous ship in those communities. 

This is to say: do I have an issue with Kaeluc//Luckae? No. Not at all. I write KLK with a very dear friend and we are happy in our little own bubble. Isn't that what writing is about? To feel emotion in and through our interactions?

However. Does that mean that I will approach every single Diluc with the intent to ship? No, not really. The fact that some people may think so is... astonishing. I, too, appreciate the familial aspect of their bond. Because, romantic or platonic, they are each other's home. They are important to each other, to the point it almost transcends friendship or a romantic relationship. To quote Kaeya: "Perhaps we're fated to be doomed together".

Regardless of the nature of their relationship, their fates are bound.

And, to put a bit of perspective on the matter, I, too, started in the "ragbros" team, even before creating this blog. To the point when my friend told me they were shipped a lot, I remember staring deeply into nothing for a few moments. Only to let out a dramatic "HUH?????" afterward. Laughs. But then I started to talk with more people, started getting more insight, to the point where I don't really mind the ship. And that, if you choose to view them as a ship, they are one of the strongest and most complex ships out there — right next to Haikaveh. Trust me. Even as platonic, their relationship is very deep and meaningful.

Now, I realize that having this sort of view on the matter may be considered a "sensitive" topic (although, sincerely, I don't understand why). And following this philosophy also brings other types of questions along: when people have "if you write incest, dni" in their rules, do they mean KLK? I assume they do, just to be safe. But again. They are objectively not related nor incest, so the seed of doubt is always planted there. 

TLDR: People have boundaries, and it is important to respect them mutually. However, one should not reduce friendships to something they disagree about, nor end them because of that. Also, I hate that this sort of topic has become something seen as "taboo" or "drama". Please. There are more important things to care about than silly little pixels.

[yunoteru4ever]

A big review of Sakae Esuno's 'Big Order,' Part 1: The Actual "Review" Part

It begins.

This all began with a simple ask from @bluescxrs, but I've definitely made it grow in my mind since I received that request. What began as "Can you outline the story differences, particularly in relation to Eiji/Rin" became me thinking "I should make that just one part of a much larger, thorough review."

So for a while now, I've been sporadically writing parts of this post while simultaneously asking myself "How do I even do this?" More specifically: How do I review a manga AND an anime that are so different from one another? How do I explain the differences between the mediums without proliferating tons of spoilers? And is that even really part of a standard "review," or does this need to be multiple posts?

My ultimate conclusions are that I need to treat this like any other anime review I've put together on my main Tumblr. I think going deeper on what separates the two versions of "Big Order" is going to require its own post with more spoilers, though.

I'll just be upfront about this,, and state what any regular readers of this Tumblr probably already know: I've come here to praise "Big Order" as a manga, and to be less kind to its anime incarnation.

Background/Behind-the-Scenes

In case you didn't know, Big Order was Sakae Esuno's follow-up manga after he struck gold with Mirai Nikki/Future Diary. I'm sure he was feeling the pressure to produce a worthwhile follow-up after he hit it big with that one. But thankfully, Big Order was a successful series for Monthly Shōnen Ace. At least it was successful enough to run for almost as long as Future Diary did and get collected into 10 volumes. Kadokawa has never shied away from ending a series early if it fails to catch on, so that speaks well to Big Order's reception. Admittedly, it never generated the same numbers or level of passion among its readership. But as Esuno himself has said, a mangaka is lucky to create even one series as beloved as Mirai Nikki. And it's not like Big Order didn't have devoted readers of its own — especially in Japan, but to some degree also in China and parts of Europe.

It never made much of an impact on the Western hemisphere, though. Mirai Nikki's success in America and much of the Western hemisphere came largely in the wake of its popular anime adaption. I can't speak to how well Big Order did as a scanlation. But unfortunately, the manga wasn't officially published in North America until AFTER its anime adaption had finished airing... to pretty much the opposite of acclaim.

The anime was produced by the same studio that adapted Future Diary a few years earlier: Asread. Although Esuno has stated his overall satisfaction with the anime adaption of Future Diary and said that he sat in on some story meetings to see how they were adapting the manga and provide some feedback, I've never seen him comment whatsoever on the anime adaption of Big Order. In fact, I don't think I've ever read or seen any interviews that were conducted with him since post-2015! The closest I've ever seen him come is confirming that they were developing an OVA prior to its eventual release in late 2015. That's it. As such, we have no idea how involved he was or wasn't with the development of Big Order's anime, nor do we know what he thinks about the end result. I don't want to assume his feelings... but I have to imagine that they're less positive than his opinion of Future Diary's anime.

We'll circle back to why I think that at the end of this post, though. For now, let's dig into what this series is actually about.

The First Chapter/Episode's Plot Setup

Ten years prior to this story, everything changed. A massive cataclysm struck the globe that killed approximately 3.5 billion people... about half of the world's population. At the same time, the world saw the appearance of the first "Orders" — people with supernatural abilities that can be activated verbally, or sometimes just mentally. People become Orders when when a floating, intangible fairy-like girl named "Daisy" appears to them and grants them a single wish. The Order's ability is based upon how Daisy interprets their wish... but no one who isn't an Order or potential Order can even see Daisy, so how or why these superpowered individuals come into exist remains unknown to the general public.

Daisy's first appearance before Eiji.

In the aftermath of that disaster now known as "the Great Destruction," the majority of the world's governments collapsed. It fell to the United Nations to create and establish interim governments and oversight councils as a way to maintain a semblance of order. Most of these governments are led by Orders who are put under the U.N.'s well-paid employ, with their supernatural abilities serving as a means to both maintain local control and enforce the law among normal civilians.

Eiji Hoshimiya is our focal protagonist. He's an 18-year-old high school student who lost his parents in the cataclysm 10 years ago. To make matters worse, he's the very person who accidentally caused the Great Destruction — an unintended side effect of his wish to "dominate the world" running amuck. Yup, Eiji is an Order, although he's sworn off ever powers after what happened back then and kept the secret of his guilt to himself. After both his parents died in the Great Destruction, Eiji's main focus has been to simply give his terminally ill stepsister, Sena, whatever joy and attention he can manage to provide during the limited time she has left. When our story starts, she supposedly has just six months left before a rare form of leukemia takes her life. And once Sena passes away, Eiji's fine with accepting whatever punishment come his way for his actions 10 years ago. He only wishes to hide his guilt for as long as it takes to keep Sena smiling.

A symbol appears on the user's palm whenever they invoke their Order ability, which also calls forth a "stand" or "avatar" figure that embodies and ultimately enacts the user's Orders. Just like Daisy, these avatars are only visible to other Orders.

(This is a VERY LONG post, so I'll put the rest under a cut for everyone's benefit.)

Rin Kurenai is our secondary protagonist despite the fact that she's also something of an antagonist — a dichotomy that's certainly famillar to anyone who's experienced Future Diary. When Rin shows up at Eiji's school one day, Eiji immediately crushes on her. Unfortunately for Eiji, Rin isn't the sweet new transfer student she initially appears to be. In reality, she's an Order that's come to this school to fulfill a personal vendetta. After spending 10 years working training herself up while trying to locate and identify the person who caused her parents to die in the Great Destruction, she's finally arrived at her chance for vengeance. Her sole dream stands before her: A chance to kill Eiji Hoshimiya.

Some facts to consider about how Eiji and Rin's Order powers work:

Eiji's power of "domination" lets him control absolutely anything within his "domain," which is defined as anywhere he's been + a surrounding radius of roughly 2 meters. This domain ALSO includes anything vertically aligned with that same space/radius. (In other words, if he walks the entireity the first floor of a three-story building, he now can control anything that happens on not only the first floor, but ALSO all the same spaces above him on the other two floors. Or if he flies above the ground, he can now control the ground directly below that airspace. Get it?) Oh, and his control/domination isn't limited to just giving orders to people and/or creatures within that space — he can literally control the laws of physics if he so wishes. He basically controls reality itself within his domain. But importantly, the moment that something he's controlling leaves his domain? He loses all power over it. And he can do nothing to anyone or anything that never enters his domain.

Rin's also an Order, and her power is regeneration. Whenever she so wishes, she can heal herself as well as anyone and anything within arm's reach. This allows her to repair broken weapons or heal wounded allies, of course, but it also auto-triggers any time she dies, reviving her in seconds. This renders her effectively immortal.

Given the above facts, when Eiji is faced with a relentless immortal assassin whose only wish is to kill him by any possible means, he makes the decision to use his powers on Rin by giving her two consecutive orders:

Order #1: Rin can never harm him or his sister.

Order #2: Rin can never leave his domain. (Because if she did, she'd break free of Order #1.)

Just like that, our lead characters are thrust into an unlikely, antagonistic "partnership."

But wait; there's more!

If you're wondering how Rin knew that Eiji caused the cataclysm? That's because she's an agent of the Ten Hands — a group of ten powerful Orders who made up the interim U.N. government of Kyushu... until now. Because when Eiji and Rin wind up at their headquarters in Dazaifu, it turns out that the Ten Hands have just declared they are the next evolution of humanity and intend to rule the world. (If you're familiar with the X-Men? Just picture Magneto's Brotherhood of Mutants :P). Rin's went rogue even from THAT rogue organization, though, because Ten Hands wanted her to capture Eiji alive! They're after Eiji because his powers are useful to them AND he makes the ideal figurehead/decoy to front their organization. Once they declare war on the United Nations in Eiji's name (going so far as to include the public announcement that Eiji is the one to blame for the disaster of 10 years prior), Eiji find himself forced to cooperate and act as the figurehead/puppet ruler of the Ten Hands. Where else can he go when he's now the most wanted and hated person on the planet?

A spread giving an overview of the Ten Hands, aka "the Group of Ten."

But as an extra carrot-on-a-stick, the leader of the Ten Hands — Colonel Hiiragi — reveals to Eiji that they've kidnapped Sena. And he then suggests that if Eiji expands his influence over the world, he should logically eventually locate an Order that could cure Sena of her terminal illness.

So wait, what kind of story is this?

For me, the primary joy of Big Order's main plot comes from the characters constantly working to out-manuever and out-manipulate one another. This is often done in the form of Order "battles," sure — but rather than being about who can hit one another hardest with a superpower, those battles are still fundamentally about pulling tricks, feints, and ultimately out-manuevering someone.

Eiji thinking what EVERYBODY in this story is thinking, essentially.

You can see it built into where the setup I described above leaves off. See, it's like this:

Because the Ten Hands has already announced Eiji as their leader and the cause of the great destruction PLUS they've got his sister, he is blackmailed into becoming their figurehead leader.

To try and counter this, Eiji swiftly places his domination order on every member of the Ten Hands, giving him the ability to control them individually while they're inside the base — providing him with leverage. IN THEORY.

But what he (and we) don't initially know is that Colonel Hiiragi had already put his own unique Order in place that covers the same base, and Hiiragi's power completely counteracts Eiji's control of the Ten Hands' people. (Hiiragi's power does NOT, however, counteract Eiji's control of the objects, air, physics, etc. within the base's property.)

But there's another complication to consider: One of the members of the Ten Hands is using his ability to stop time to freeze Sena, preventing her disease from progressing. As such, anything Eiji does to attack within the base or undermine the Ten Hands' plans will obviously cause that person to unfreeze Sena, returning her lifespan to a ticking clock.

With all that going on, Can Eiji really do anything to push his own agenda and exercise his free will? That's just ONE example of the complicated tit-for-tat thinking that makes up so many of Big Order's character interactions and confrontations.

Eiji and Rin's relationship is a microcosm of this stuff. Eiji knows Rin can't kill him thanks to his Order ability, but he also knows that she's foolishly obsessed with killing him personally to the point that she refuses to let anyone else have that pleasure. As a result, the person who hates him the most also becomes the person he's most able to trust. But that doesn't mean Rin's ready to give up on trying to trick him into a not-quite-accidental death, either. There's a push and pull to their mutual trust-laced-with-distrust.

Even within the Ten Hands themselves, there are a couple members who turn out to have more faith/trust in Eiji than they do in Colonel Hiiragi. Hiiragi's mission is ultimately somewhat compromised by his need for personal vengeance, whereas Eiji manages to gain faith and trust from some of the members based on how he indepently handles some things. All these personal motivations, unique powers, and relative/comparative intelligence mix to make a stew of actions and counteractions that I greatly enjoy reading. And by the time the story starts to move away from focusing on these complicated showdowns, you're far enough in that you should (hopefully) be attached to some of its characters already.

The Narrative and its Characters

From a writing POV, it's worth noting that Sakae Esuno took a different approach to writing Big Order as compared to how he wrote Mirai Nikki/Future Diary. See, Esuno had a pretty strong outline for the story when he started making Mirai Nikki. (Actually, he says he created two outlines for Mirai Nikki: One for "I get to write the full-length story" and one for "I have to wrap things up quickly because the series gets cancelled early.") However, on Big Order, Esuno opted to only plan where the story would go in a much looser, vaguer way. He said he wanted to leave himself more leeway to explore whatever new ideas he thought of as the story developed, not constrain himself so much to a tightly pre-planned narrative. I'm not telling you this as a form of judging his choice negatively, though; I can see the appeal to both approaches. I'm just telling y'all this because I think those differences in approach are sometimes noticeable.

There are occasionally pieces of info or hints within the manga that don't seem to go anywhere, and you might even notice some of these are dropped entirely in the anime. A prime example: The early chapters of the manga have Sena referencing that the doctor working caring for her at the hospital is her and Eiji's uncle. Whether she's speaking literally or somehow metaphorically, this never goes anywhere. Heck, we never even see or meet that character! So it's understandable that those references are left out of the anime. It doesn't feel like it's some lost subplot that was left hanging, but it's just the kind of detail that feels like it might hold meaning down the line... yet never does. Those sorts of "dead-end details" get increasingly rare the longer the manga goes on, however. The story grows leaner and tighter as it nears its end.

Beyond that, this story has all the hallmarks I've come to love about Sakae Esuno's works: Tons of plot twists (much more in the manga), the ability to vascillate wildly between darkness and comedy, engaging psychological underpinnings to the characters (mostly in the manga), a twisted focal relationship... it's all here. What's not to love? Well, I suppose Big Order and Future Diary share one weakness: Despite both stories supposedly having a global impact, the entire story stays isolated to Japan. Future Diary justified this with some passing text explaining that Deus has intentionally developed or lured his future god prospects into one area. Big Order's justification is that the entire "Great Destruction" was caused within Japan due to research taking place in Japan. Perhaps not as strong of an overall driver for the localized focus, but it works decently enough.

So let's dig a little into that "twisted focal relationship." Despite what I said previously about Rin and Eiji's "dual protagonists where one is also kind of an antagonist" dynamic being similar to Future Diary's Yuki and Yuno, these characters almost feel like counterpoints to the leads of Mirai Nikki. Although Eiji visually looks a lot like Yuki and Rin might initially give off Yuno vibes thanks to her aggressive nature and twin hanging hair-tails, they're each more unlike their Esuno-created predecessors than they are similar to them. And so — as I said in that old post I just linked to — Eiji and Rin almost feel like a reaction/response to Yuki and Yuno, intentionally designed to flip or trade off a lot of their individual traits while still maintaining a select few similarities.

Rin's blind rage at Eiji can make her kind of a moron at times. Delightfully so.

Both of them get to grow and change a lot over the course of the manga's story, though they don't get anywhere NEAR as much growth in the anime. The ten or so manga chapters following the end of the anime are particularly good for Eiji, who goes through a period of trauma-response depression that's very well-portrayed IMO. I think him already being in his mindset helps him cope with the wild perception-warping crap he sees and experiences shortly before the final stretch of the story kicks in. Rin's growth is more gradual; at first, she's just forced to gain some empathy for the person she's spent a decade hating. That helps her to eventually shift her desire for revenge onto other parties. But in the end, she gets smarter AND kinder, learning to let go of her desire for revenge and legitimately finding a way to forgive something that once seemed unforgivable. It's actually touching, IMO.

But you know, Yuki/Yuno's relationship never got a strong outside competitor. Let's face it: Yuki never showed any interest in or attraction towards Akise, regardless of Akise's own feelings. On the flip side, the Eiji/Rin relationship actually gets a pretty strong third party thrown into the mix: Iyo.

Iyo! No surname needed, evidently?

If there's a tritagonist in Big Order, it's Iyo — a member of the Ten Hands' leadership who demonstrates fr more compassion thant he rest. Iyo's a shrine maiden/miko whose Order granted her the power to predict the future with 99% accuracy by asking any question to the heavens, summoning a slip of paper that provides the answer. The downside to this is that whenever someone acts upon her predictions they are inherently changing the course of fate, so their actions will affect whether the prediction remains true. And for Iyo, that's a personal matter: Her very first question to the heavens (and thus the first prediction handed down to her) was to find out who her future husband would be... which is when she learned that she was destined to marry Eiji Hoshimiya and bear his child. This prediction + Eiji's natural kindness towards her are two reasons why she finds herself swiftly infatuated with Eiji as soon as he aligns himself with the Ten Hands. And thus, Iyo winds up being the third spoke in a love triangle that also includes Eiji and Rin. But she's not hanging around just to undermine or irritate Rin, because she proves to be an invaluable partner to Eiji's goals in her own right.

I adore both Iyo AND her twitchy bunny-ear head-ribbon. Part of me can't help but want her to win Eiji's heart, because she deserves the world. However, because her infatuation with Eiji is driven by her prediction, her attraction to him is kind of questionable IMO; does she only fall for Eiji because she was told that she would by her powers? Regardless of the reason, her feelings drive her to try and spend more time with him/get closer to him. The knock-on effect, however, is that because she's acting upon her own prediction, that means her actions have every possbility of destroying/altering the very future she's pining for.

The writing here definitely favors Eiji and Rin as the core couple, but unlike Future Diary, Big Order isn't going to give you a clear-cut answer as to who the characters wind up with. Future Diary wound up cementing Yuno and Yuki's relationship canonically because, well, that was the whole point of the thing. The central Yuki/Yuno relationship was the absolute core of Future Diary's narrative, but conversely, the Eiji/Rin relationship isn't the most important relationship in Big Order. It's a major focus, sure, but it's not propping up the entire narrative — which I think is why Esuno feels no need to canonize it. Although the story definitely seems to favor Eiji/Rin, neither the manga nor the anime explicitly state who Eiji winds up with (if anyone).

Instead, the core relationship that's propping up Big Order's story is a familial one: The one between Eiji and Sena. Sena is the stepsister he didn't think he wanted and who he was initially hesitant to get to know. Ultimately, however, she won him over with her warmth and sweetness. When their parents were killed in the Great Destruction, Eiji wound up isolating himself from everyone BUT Sena. Which is a big reason why Eiji's ultimate goal is merely to protect her and give her happiness for as long as she lives (which, as previously stated, is currently expected to be only six more months). It definitely calls to mind Yuno's own simplistic goal of "one day of perfect happiness," etc. But while Yuno's goal is inherently flawed, Eiji's is theoretically possible... right up until the Ten Hands ruin it. Because just a few chapters into the story, they start telling her all kinds of shit that Eiji had been trying to hide from her.

Sena starts out as little more than a background MacGuffin, but she isn't content to stay on those sidelines. Once she has agency to do so, she starts participating in her brother's struggle despite this being against pretty much everybody else's wishes. Her unwanted intervention makes for a pretty fun spanner in the works of the story... but I'm not going to get too specific about it. I think it's really fun to watch her fight back against her own "MacGuffin" status — too much fun for me to spoil how it all happens.

Anime vs. Manga: The Short Version

The anime adapts the first 32 chapters of the manga over the course of its ten episodes. MOST of the major plot beats are the same, at least. But along the way, there are LOADS of scenes altered in small ways, as well as some added and some entirely deleted. And of course, once it reaches the final episode? There's a new ending and denouement so that everything stops there. They do not leave anything open for a possible future season that would adapt the remaining 22 chapters of the story — those are simply ignored.

Now yes, the anime aired while the manga was still ongoing. But... the manga was also MUCH farther along than the anime would lead you to believe — 50 chapters had already been published when the very first episode aired! So the decision to cut the manga's story off at Chapter 32 is definitely a weird one.

To briefly summarize the most common changes made to the first 32 chapters in the process of turning them into 10 anime episodes, it's like this:

The anime turns the nudity / sexual content / fanservice WAAAAAY the fuck up. Like, a simple hug in the manga becomes grinding/dry-humping in the anime. A girl in full clothing in the manga will become a girl in a very loose-hanging dress with most of her body exposed in the anime. And, look — for better or worse, Esuno is no stranger to tossing female nudity into his manga, either for some pointless fanservice or sometimes to further accentuate the horror on display. But even the most fanservice-y manga scenes are extended and expanded upon a lot in the anime.

Ton of background information that provides foundations for how things work in this world is removed. The manga often ends a chapter with an info page providing details on a supporting character's backstory or how one specific powerset works. These are the kinds of lore-dumps that are often used as screens that frame commercial breaks in a lot of major anime (Attack on Titan and My Hero Academia both have done this). In Big Order, however, the framing cards for ad breaks are just pieces of art, and no attempt is made at providing any of these additional details in any format. They're just left on the cutting-room floor, which I think definitely makes a lot of things both more shallow AND more confusing.

An example of one of these "data pages" within the manga.

THE MOST IMPORTANT CHANGE OF ALL: This one bullet could be an entire essay of me complaining ALL BY ITSELF, but I'll try to keep this brief: In the manga, a number of characters point out that Eiji and Sena aren't actually related by blood, so they theorize that maybe their relationship is somehow romantic/sexual etc.? This suggestion is always shot down by a disgusted Eiji, who will usually insult the theory/theorizer while explaining that being "family" isn't just about your blood ties — but regardless, Sena is absolutely his family, and so on, because she's always had his back. And it's sweet. They are willing to do anything to support one another, even when they see the other one headed in the wrong direction, but it's always very pure and warm-hearted and UMMMMMMMMM, the anime goes in the exact opposite fucking direction. These stepsiblings are absolutely fucking one another in the anime. I cannot and will not ever understand what drove them to do this. Whatever the reason, this is SO antithetical to the manga's point and the central relationship of the story that it does a good job ruining the anime all on its own, even without the other changes... and that's without me touching upon the ethical question of 18-year-old Eiji fucking the 13-year-old Sena. One of the weirder aspects of this ill-advised change is how this whole new subplot has NO impact on the rest of the story! The scenes of them being sexually/romantically involved contain no voice work, for one thing. But also, some of the scenes from the manga where he angrily denies his relationship with Sena being like that are still present in the anime. But I guess now they're just really aggressive lies? He literally beats up one character for suggesting he might be attracted to Sena. Which works great in the manga, but now it's like.... wtf? Also, Eiji having feelings for/involvement with Sena *never* comes up when he's dealing with his relationship with Rin or Iyo — he's still flustered by the idea of sex with anyone or being close to a cute girl, etc. It really comes across as though Asread just kinda inserted this gross shit without telling anyone outside of the animation team directly involved with the new scenes.

WHY, FUCKING WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS

Suffice it to say that for as much as I love the suspense and twists of the manga, I can't recommend its anime incarnation unless you just want to see the characters (1) in full color and (2) in motion. It makes a somewhat amusing side dish to the manga, but it's a very poor substitute.

But I'm going to get somewhat more in-depth about all the differences between the two in my next post on the subject, which will include sharing some spoilers about what happens AFTER Chapter 32 in the manga. It's a big enough task that I think it deserves its own separate writeup. And lord knows that this one is already long enough. :P

[yeetspace]

Just saw the post about the person who was fighting their newly appointed AI personal fuck with whatever the fuck shit bullshit and it was like correcting them on their own goddamn work while they were writing in the sanctity of the road fucking home:

The way I tell you

I am a screaming star in the deep recesses of the night sky that which is glutted full of nonsensical, heartless images made by machines. scream dance scribble on the goddamned walls

be real Make physical media exist exist exist in spite of those which wants you to not so they may reap your labor separate from the heart at which makes it REAL makes it HAPPEN makes it even BE.

There is no animosity to the artificial mind It is simply those who are used to create despite a creator. To make despite the materials, That being pattern recognition, the ability to symbolize, not make comparisons but symbolize. Just cannibalizing itself like a cancer, and even more horrifyingly like a real cancer, it's fucking destroying everything here with us on its way out.

You know why? (Other than the fact that it's a deeply flawed machine that has no ability to do half the shit that it's being forced to do) It's the fact that now that it's known that it can't be used to steal all of the materials people have been using and compiling on the internet, the people who have the most vested interest in just destroying that and not letting people have community so that no one's able to properly communicate the injustices done upon them as we have for the past few decades, would really benefit from some "unfortunate artificial collapse of all things on the internet cuz all the information got all skewed randomly with no culprit whatsoever"

So weird right

[cosmicjoke]

Man, in a million years I would never have thought that Levi's current frustration, anger, and threat of breaking his legs was the frustration of not being able to persuade Erwin to stay just because he was risking his own life. And I think if there was such a thing, he could have said that he wanted Levi to stay behind for personal reasons in the interview with E L, where Isayama also added him thoughts on this scene but instead he said that saying he trusted Erwin's decision meant that he would take his responsibility if something happened. And then he took him anger out on Eren and Jean (Even though I thought the violence was unnecessary here)

Similar to those who say that Levi made a selfish choice by choosing Erwin's peace over humanity.

Unfortunately, even some popular accounts say so, and some people have a habit of relying on their popularity and believing what they're saying is true. In short, a flock of sheep.

When I saw your mutual analysis articles with that blog, I was surprised and triggered at first. Because years ago, I followed that blog and some of the big accounts it interacted with, read and liked some of its metas. After a while, I noticed that she reduced Levi to E at odd angles in some of her writings, and after a while I turned away from her and their analysis, and cold from Levi.

Then I realized it was because of their favorite ship. I noticed that they wrote biased articles without taking off their ship glasses under -neutral posts - to find materials and support for their ships. Most recently, I unfollowed her and the others when I saw her response to someone asking if Erwin was the focus in the final salute scene in the final episode. In her answer, she did a math calculation to prove that Erwin was ahead of the rest and Levi was more in focus than the others :/. not joke.

While I may seem like I've vilified her and their other colleagues here, it's not my intention, but.. this is what really happened. Because of meta and analysis writers like them, I had come to question the actions of my Comfort character, Levi, and my love and admiration had waned. And now, years later, when she threw a question at you, my first thought was that maybe years later she had changed her ideas and views and maybe offered a good analysis. but no. as I predicted. They're reducing him to Erwn again as usual.

Sorry if I'm out of context here. I know some of what I write seems delusional. but ım tired

Hi there,

No worries, I understand perfectly what you're saying. Yeah, this is what I'm always saying, is that when one is adamant on seeing their ship as canon, even when there's absolutely no evidence whatsoever of the ship existing in canon, they ultimately will filter everything that happens in the story through that lens, and it warps their perception of the story and their ability to have an objective read on the situation and the characters actions.

Things have definitely gotten out of hand in the online community. People allow others to influence their own opinions and even, sometimes, a lot of these people haven't even read AoT and form their opinions completely based on what others tell them. And your particular story is one of the most unfortunate results of this kind of thing, where people begin to think less of Levi as a character, because he's been cast in this sort of light, portrayed as someone who's only and main focus is Erwin, instead of what he's truly fighting for, which is humanity. There's a mountain of evidence supporting this fact. There's none supporting the idea that Levi "did it all for Erwin". But people twist it to the point of making Levi seem selfish or self-interested, or unable to think and act for himself, totally reliant and dependent on Erwin, and even beholden to Erwin, like some sort of slave. It's pretty awful and absolutely insane. In order to come to that conclusion, one would either have to completely ignore Levi's actions and words within the story, or twist them to the point of them being unrecognizable.

And lol, yeah, that whole thing you mentioned, with the final salute, how anyone could "interpret" that as Levi being solely focused or mainly focused on Erwin is beyond me. It reduces Levi's commitment and respect for his other comrades, which in turn, would reduce the respect one feels for Levi as a person. I don't know why anyone would want to claim that, or "prove" that Levi was focused on Erwin in that shot. The vow he made was for ALL of his comrades. And so, his final salute was for all of them. He fulfilled the vow, and he was showing his respect for everyone. He cared about all of them equally. He placed equal value on all of their lives, equal meaning. It's just sad and bizarre, besides, that anyone would want to deny that, all for the sake of trying to prove he was in some sort of romantic relationship with his commanding officer.

Levi chose to follow Erwin in the first place because Erwin sold him on this idea of saving humanity, of using his strength to save humanity. Levi trusted in Erwin's ability to lead and to tell him how best to use his strength to that end. He didn't follow Erwin because he was in love with him, or beholden to him, or obsessed with him. He chose to follow him because he respected Erwin's ability to do the right thing and make the right choices when it came to advancing humanities cause and fight. It's just so obvious, and it really is a head-scratcher why anyone would want to take Levi's heroic nature and altruistic motivations and reduce it to a love-sick obsession. That's not who Levi is. It never was, and it never will be. Levi cares about all people.