#but uhhhhh im just sayin
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its like.
i want a relationship (i think) but i dont wanna make out or do anything futher than that or even kiss someone on the lips
i just want maybe a kiss on the cheek & hugs and MAYBE cuddles cos im kinda touch-averse
and then i realize thats just a qpr (i think)
and then i realize im not attracted to anybody my age
and im like "but girls are so pretty!" yeah man they are but guess what? thats aesthetic attraction. im just aroace and thats okay. i dont have to bend to other ppls will
like i like the idea of relationships & think romance is really cute but i dont think i want that stuff to be real in my life
i might throw up if someone even says they want to kiss me actually
#marf rant#uhhhhh#if this doesnt make sense dw about it im just sayin stufd#and listening to chappell roab#chappell roan#asexual#aromantic#aroace#lgbt+#we need to just decide on lgbt tags theres too many#im tired#and gay as hell
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uhhhhh…. like eh-PO-na not EH-po-na? if that makes sense?
the girl in the video i’ve been watching keeps sayin’ it like EH-po-na and im ready to admit i’m just the weird one
genuinely the most upsetting thing is watching zelda videos or hearing people talk about the games and finding out I’m mispronouncing like half of the characters fucking names
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I can't believe I missed this episode holy shit
I just watched the Sallie House episode and holy shit.
(Some shippy things or however you see it below)
Shane.. something was up. He seemed so intense and did everything he could to get reactions out of Ryan. Wasn't fazed in the least, but with a slight hint of worry when a few things happened. He was yucking it up but at the same time keeping an eye out and an eye on Ryan.
which brings me to my next thing. Shane was hovering over Ryan in those moments where Ryan was panicking and was actually quite attentive. Like on the island of the dolls where suddenly he was behind Ryan in seconds and he grabbed him and pulled him back when (Ryan tripped? Fell?). Same here.
Ryan started having a panic attack and fell to the floor. Shane noticed as it begun and got that soft voice telling him "its okay, maybe sit down, watch your head, dont get hurt" and when Ryan wasnt as responsive and still in the attack, shane immediately went and sat directly about his head in the chair that he had to squeeze around Ryan to get into. I get it helps the shot to be that close when Ryan is spread out but.. there where easier to get to sitting options right there. I had a feeling he wanted to make sure he could help Ryan out of it and watch over him (the jumpcut to Ryan being up and fine). Protective and vigilante af friend that I would love to have.
Then the constant "you did it!" "I'm proud of you" "you're fine" from shane that clearly helps give Ryan confidence to keep going. Again, would love to have someone like that. I think Ryan is grateful for him as well when they go to these places. He is always sticking close to Shane or keeping him in his sight. If he starts to freak out bad, shane cracks a joke and you see the tense leave ryan and he plays along but you can tell he was grateful for the light tone.
The absolute JOY Shane has for a spooked Ryan is rather cute. Though, shane seems to back off if things start to get too far and reassures Ryan. This episode though... Like I said something was up here. He was glowing like a fool on adrenaline. (Like someone who got laid earlier or just won a car or smt)
The intensity Shane was using to taunt the demons while staring at ryans face was... a lot. Ryan wouldnt look him in the eyes even though i would have if someone is that close staring at my eyes for a while. (Which yeah, made it seem more like all that was fake and shane knew it but wanted to act it up to see how ryan would react. You know what? Ryan thinking its all real and being scared shitless was enough for me, entertaining as hell forget the legitimacy.
And immediately after that taunting Shane is laying on a pentagram telling the demon to eat his heart, or go after ryans heart, but wait back up “we are a packaged deal” and its just... is this all a power move of his over the demon? (Like that much energy he puts towards ryan is some sort of claim, acknowledging what is in the house but making it clear ryan is off limits.... alright im into the au now damnit) Just saying he is awfully charged in this episode and a ton of people took notice and I think ryan was kinda offput.. like what is happening
You can't tell me that Ryan didnt curl against shane's side laying there between vlog updates. After admitting it, moving closer, how terrified he was, and how comforting shane was being emotionally and physically (shoulder rub/close proximity/fully facing ryan/body launguage open and relaxed). I ever get a friendship like that im set for LIFE.
Shane comes off as " it's hilarious when youre scared and if I cause it. But if you seem unwell or its getting a little too intense im drawing the line for you. I however can take ALLLLL of this, bring it onnnn. Leave the smol one alone tho, I'm right here and ready to mingle."
Ryan might be buff but he is still a small dude compared to Shane and I get the impression shane finds it very endearing. And uhhhhh lemme just say it seems like flirting a bit with the height banter. That was one thing me and guys always banted on for an excuse to be close and comment on eachother lightly, kinda like a "hey shortstack.. i kinda dig that"
Shane seems like he is only going to these places and is on the show to get a rise out of Ryan. Like he isnt that interested other than the history, but damn if he isnt invested in thinking on how Ryan is going to take something or what will spook him while he is alone. He couldn't care less about these places but lights up when watching how Ryan is fairing with the place. Ryan is in his spotlight.
Ryan :“If I wake up and see something staring at me... *voice shaking and drawing in on himself*” and then shane leaning towards him doing an arm gesture (about to say something too, cut himself off) and expression I read as “you wont, ill be right next to you”
As they get ready for bed, Shane bringing up scary things to Ryan again to spook him and I guess it worked bc Ryan said “I’m moving closer to you, I dont care” and then a (pleased? surprised?) laugh and agreement from shane
Shane offering to go into a room first, "want me to take that?" "Want me to go in first?" "Watch your step, maybe i'll..." but also trying to guilt ryan into continuing to stay the night in the house after 3am (I wonder why hmmmm)
Heart Eyes left and right
What even was that last part of the episode, felt like a date, looked like a date, sounded like a date. “I’m happy to let you believe in this stuff cause then I get to watch you freak out.” “Lets leave, wait let me finish my beer” *Shane’s husky voice out of freaking no where* “Yeah, finish your beer.”
This episode was just.. a lot. Bless.
#shyan#im not going to tag the show since i think they look on tumblr#but uhhhhh im just sayin#skeptic believer#didnt ship it until recently bc that wasnt my thing but something I saw made me go hmmm ok#i think it was when i went into the tags and saw art#that normally gets me#let e tell ya though#i would have a hard time watching the show if it werent for shane lightening it up now and then bc im like ryan#am i living vicariously through others? yes!
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haha ahahaha ahaha ahem 😳
#obey me#its like 4 am but i just saw simeon's new ssr and uhhhhh#i am about to. as they say. Act Up !#like ok. ok. alright. ok#the choker. the gloves. the blood#at this point ''angel'' is just a suggestion#like. girl... that look does not inspire chastity! all im sayin#im sorry. i just. im#*inhale* *screams into fist*#im fine. i need a moment
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charlie higson choosing to personally torture me with the very few bits of information we get of davids upbringing when that seems to be yhe Basis of why hes LIKE that. i can infer so much shit based on his behavior and his emotions around things and his beliefs but god its kinda left up in the air right? I CANT EVEN REALLY TALK ABOUT THIS BC I HAVENT READ BOOKS 5-7 SINCE LIKE. 2020/2021. muy memory and incomplete information. maybe we get more than that. maybe less.
my point being uhhhhh. while there probably wasnt any Event or even what could be recognized as child abuse going on. his dad obviously effected him some kinda way. probably in the subtler ingraining beliefs and witholding affection unless he was "good enough" or something. (yknow, stuff david wouldnt clock as being bad for him. stuff that influenced his view of how the world works) anyway. therapists dont exist anymore so like whatever not like he can get normal about it now
do u guys think david was thatnpower hungry and controlling bc in some subconcious part of his mind he was still trying to "earn" his dads respect. i mean its obviously more complicated than that hes a fuckin tory and this is how boys Should act. this is the most worthwhile way to exist, obviously. plus the royalism. he needs to be important. but idk .
im just sayin if what he wanted was power, as he claims and believes, he already got that. he hit that goal over and over. and yet he was never satisfied. so my thoughts that he was trying to get something else and going abt it the wrong way.
all this just beinf conjecture LOL
kill me actually. palace kid likers stay fucking LosiN(whips aeound to see david king standing behind me)GWHY IS HE HERE !?!????
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do yall wanna hear about my fucken. dead poets society/riverdale brainrot. no you dont its terrible anyway here you go
-s1e13 that scene where cheryl is overcome w/ grief about the loss of her brother and goes to the now frozen over river where they were last together. The Gang shows up and are! very concerned!!! rightfully so cause then she falls in. they barely save her life. its very dramatic. do with that concept what u will
-s4e19 Killing Mr Honey. someone suggests they really actually kill mr honey cause hes kinda mean sometimes. everyone else is like what the fuck! no! however that does not stop jughead from writing a short story where The Gang do indeed murder a man. all he does is changes their names before publishing it. do with that concept what u will
-recurring motif in riverdale is betty and archie staring out + putting their hands to their bedroom windows. theres also a window motif in dps. idk i just think thats fun
-feel like i need to watch s4 again cause. bret 🤝 neil: kill your popular, prep school, secret society leader subtext gays. there must've been nods to dps in that season there MUST have
#killing mr perry has a very nice ring 2 it#thats all im sayin#uhhhhh#ask 2 tag#Just Generally Kinda Intense#dead poets society#riverdale#i KNOW im being cringe i KNOW it!!!! im Trying not 2 care#cowboy posts
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Did you know that the human experience is often complex? Did you know that it's possible to not be able to split your whole existence into little perfect boxes? Did you know that some things are not simple?
#god im fucking losing it#sort of uhhhhh sick of this shit#im just yelling on here sorry folks#i have nowhere to put this shit and not making it Known means that itll just circle in my head forever#i mean... we're still circling but i do get some... uh idk... ease? from this#just sayin shit#its what we do#gotta fucking relax man#your so uptight#so boxy#so categorical#calm down#chill#do whatever the fuck you want dude#fucking ease up#run face first into a glass door#...something like that#absolute fucking jackass#my head needs to just all get on the same fucking page for once#or im going to actually go insane
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aight not to sound like im starting shit or anything but whys everyone suddenly decided they hate charlie kelly lmao
#im seein posts floating around sayin like. that hes not allowed in s13 or some shit#idk man but i dont get it wheres all this come from...#just doesnt seem to make sense to me uhhhhh anyone wanna maybe enlighten me#shut up lev#sunny
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here's a thought....... maybe your crush would like you back if you maybe..... idk.... texted them back
#i mean 🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️🤷🏻♀️#it takes two to make anything work#uhhhhh hellloooooooo#lol#im just going with the flow regardless#but dont be upset if i give back the same energy you give out#lmfaooooooooo#benosy#im just sayin
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Request for @superlovercat
*Mikeys gonna be a little turd and be the one to tell the jokes here( like come on ya know he would xD)🧡I also hope you dont mind it being in a headcanon style
LEO💙
You and Leo are cuddling on the couch
Your stomach growls, and you had a craving for Taco Bell
"I'm really craving something" you said to yourself
Mikey overhears as he's walking by
A joke popped in his head and hes just got to tell it
Mikey would joke to Leo that when is he "planning on putting some beef in your taco" after dating for so long
You know, Mikey being Mikey 😂
Leo just glares at him over his shoulder
"I'm just sayin"
Dissapears; he gone
Leo would get mad at him but is more focused on your calm demeanor, thinking that you felt embarressed, etc.
"I'm sorry if he made you feel uncomfortable"
"Uncomfortable? Why would tacos make me feel uncomfortable?"
He couldn't believe what he was hearing
He knew you could flirt, oh you were flirty, but...
Your so sweet and innocent
He could just hug you, squeeze you
Kinda gets into overprotective mode; wants to put earmuffs on you so Mikey doesnt ruin that pure mind of yours
RAPH❤
You and Raph are in the kitchen, replinishing your bodies from a workout session
Raph helped you with your session and he made you relax some while he lifted his weights
As y'all are enjoying your food, him a meaty sandwich and you a salad with ranch dressing, Mikey comes in to grab a soda from the fridge
He notices sweaty bodies and your ranch dressing
Opportunity calls
"Want a cucumber to go with that?"
Raph gives him a death glare and Mikey laughs as he runs away
"Idiot..."
"Raph, can you give me a cucumber?"
Raph nearly chokes on a bite of sandwich
You ask if hes alright
Gives you a thumbs up
"There's one in the fridge, right?"
Thats when he knew that the joke flew over your head
You were so pure, and you had to hear the filth out of his younger brothers mouth
"Yeah..." he says as he gives you the cucumber for your salad
The next workout session was going to be a session in giving Mikey a lesson
DONNIE💜
Donnie is sipping his coffee while watching a documentary with you
And while his eyes may seem focused on the screen, he takes side glances at you and snakes his arm around your shoulder
Hed pull you into him
Hed take another sip and let out a satisfactory sigh
Nothing could compare to this: a lazy afternoon with you, a good tv program, and a good cup of joe
"It doesn't get any better than this"
Mikey snuck up behind the couch, peeking over the back to look at the screen
He had heard Donnie and wanted to tease him
He made himself be known
"You know what else goes good with coffee? A creampie"
"Mikey!"
Donnie jumped and looked back to see Mikey laughing and running away before he got a beating
"Dude, you're blushing!"
"No I'm not..."
"Speaking of creampies, I want one" you said
Donnie looked horrified
"D-do you know what that is, honey?"
"Yeah, its just a pie, right?"
Donnie is silent
He's crying on the inside for how sweet, innocent, pure minded you were
"Yeah... yeah..."
MIKEY🧡
Mikey likes being flirty
Especially with you
He loves seeing you blush when he tells you how cute, amazing, etc. you are
But he wanted to spice it up a little
After all, you've been dating for a while now
So why not?
Its a cold day in New York City
Your sitting in the lair, trying to get warm
The heater Donnie installed was being fixed maintenance
Mikey saw you and grabbed a blanket and plopped himself behind you, wrapping you up and pulling you into him
"Are you cold, angelcakes?"
"Yeah, im feeling a bit warm right now"
He smirked
"If you want, I can warm you up, outside and inside."
"How would you warm me up inside? By drinking some hot cocoa?"
That wasnt what he had in mind
"Uhhhhh..."
He was stuck
"You mean you..."
"I what?"
"Never mind, baby girl"
He hugged you, so tightly
You were too pure, an angel in disguise
#tmnt#teenage mutant ninja turtles#tmnt bayverse#tmnt 2016#tmnt 2014#tmntxreader#xreader#ask#request#donnie#leo#raph#mikey
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@drdone started following you
bree i always collectively panic that u follow my shitpost blogs rp blogs but then i remember its u and then i just wanna say how much i love u tbh
#≪ *rolls up to the Sonic Drive-In & honks a La Cucaracha horn* YO DOES KNUCKLES WORK HERE? (ooc) ≫#now... im not sayin u should make an rp blog.........................#but id totally be willing to help u make an rp blog.#even if its just 2 goof around#i think ud have fun tbh#but uhhhhh anyway ily ? ? ??
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T.H| Just Hurry up Please
summary: honestly coochie be bangin
warnings: shaving? A very talkative thomas and a pregnant women
a/n: i just read back in my messages and i swear these people lift me up so much, i love all of you who keep giving me complements and etc, i love all of you honestly.
“THOMASSS!” you yelled from the room, currently seven weeks pregnant and craving fruit snacks and mini Oreo packs, it made him confused and ask why the mini packs if they all taste the same, they simply do not.
“yes darling!” he got up and walked to the room, you sighed and lifted yourself up to the headboard before speaking. “i need you to do me a huge favor”
“if you want me to get you food it isnt a favor” he gently laughed before leaning against the door with his arms crossed. “no i need you to shave me” you simply said and his face dropped. “as innnnnnnn?” he took his hand and pointed south, “if you dont wanna do it you dont have to!-”
“nonononnono wheres the razor” he asked, quickly walking into the bathroom and looking on the counters and in the shower “its uhhhhh-” you snapped your fingers three times “its in the drawer nearest to the right wall!” you said and he nodded, walking to the wall and opening the drawer. “no these are where the towels are!- wait nevermind i went to the wrong wall” he rolled his eyes at his stupidity and went to the other wall, bending down and opening the drawer revealing all of your feminine products but he only grabbed the pack and opened it. taking one out and exiting the bathroom and coming back to you.
“i havent shaved in three months tom, its gonna get complicated down there” you warned him and only chuckled “oh im sure i know everything about heavens” “did you just call my vagina heavens?” “yeah?” you cringed at him before telling him to grab a towel, non scented soap, a squirt bottle and a plastic cup of water, plus a pair of scissors and a little small toothed comb.
“im not giving surgery, right?” he asked, looking at the small table that he set everything on. “you- shut up” you pointed at him before laying down. your pants are off and the two towels, your sitting on them. tom pushed the blankets to his side of the bed so the main focus is you. “alright, get in position”
“position?” tom asked, looking away confused. “As if your, gonna, ya know!” “ohhhhh” he separated your legs and laid on the bed, eye level with your clothed hood.
“are you ready?” “yes y/n” “pull them off” tom hasnt looked their in what felt like years. so he was excited and eager to pull them off, but when he did his face stood in shock “thomas, stop. your pissing me off” “sorry i didnt expect id be in the jungle” he spaced off, looking up at you as you gave...that look.
“whats the next step please!” “take the comb and the scissors please” you said, watching as he nodded and reached his arm over and grabbed the items. “you are going to give me a trim, okay?” his jaw dropped at your words “a...trim?”.
you sighed as you let your head rest on the pillow “i swear im not having sex with him ever again” you whispered “WAIT WHAT??? NONONONONONO IM GIVING YOU A TRIM” he quickly got to work, combing through the hairs before cutting them neatly, his tongue poking out the side of his lips as he tried all of the different ways. “Stop playin!” you yelled and he glared at you “your gonna make me stab you on accident!” “mhmm, accident you say?” he rolled his eyes and chuckled before cut more.
“so how do i clean this up?” “did you get the inside?” his eyes widened. “You grow hair inside-” “no tom we dont, move the lips” you ordered, looking as he moved your lip to the side “this is so strange” he muttered to himself, “be careful, i swear if you hurt me-” “i wont!” he took his other hand and replaced his current one pushing the lip away and took the scissors to carefully cut the hairs before repeating on the other side.
“take the soap and use the water to lather it up” you said and he followed, he lathered it up before placing it down. “okay now spread it on there” “like in between?” “no no, just above it” he placed the soap on the skin, the soft hairs against his hand as he rubbed it in, small circles all over. “open them more please” he said, and you followed. he got your bikini line “now the razor”
he picked it up “im scared y/n” “your doing good tom, just do swipes, go up then down, then to the side” “alright, i think i got that” he sighed, “and pull my stomach up!” “what?” “push the skin up” you took his free and used it to push up your stomach skin. “like that, okay?” “alright” he groaned before swiping gently up, he did it but avoided one place.
“god damn” he talked to his self, using the squirt bottle to rinse away the hair. “i feel like i should get an award, how ling have we been here for?” “about an hour” “AN HOUR? y/n im not ever doin this again, i can barely see” “keep talking shit” “shit atleast im being honest babe, i feel like i just gained 300 worth of muscle trying to shave this thing” “alright imma fuck you up” “im just sayin” he shrugged, dramatically wiping his forehead while you just starred at him.
“im telling my kids they father was a very lazy man” “i get up like 78 times a day just to get YOU food, whos lazy?” he said, biting his tongue as he got the bikini line. “exactly, so be quiet before i bite it” “bite what?” your eyebrows furrowed. “oh you know exactly what im talking about, now let me focus”
when he was done he helped you in the shower, rinsing off all the hair he couldnt get and you looked in the mirror “really? a land strip?” you said, both starring at the line of hair. “yeah i thought we could get matching ones” he shrugged. “you want me to do yours?” you asked looking at him and he nodded. “it shouldnt take an hour....right?” “uhmmmm no”
“AHHH” he screamed. “WHAT THE FUCK?” you giggled at his yelling. “sorry! but we gotta get this done!” “why the wax? why not the fucking razor?” he yelled in lowercase, you only shrugged before pulling the other side some and he screamed at the top of his lungs. “NO STOP IM NOT DOING IT ANYMORE” he pushed your hand away “tom its the last one...pleaseeee!” you begged, looking at the strip. “i gain all sex privileges back then, deal?” you dramatically thought about it before he smacked his lips and slapped your hand away “ALRIGHT ALRIGHT-” you quickly pulled the paper off and he screamed again. “OHHHH MY FUCKINGGGG GODDD Y/N” he starred at you while you tried to hold in your laughs. “it looks pretty” you choked out before you broke out laughing him still starring at you. “i have to put on some oil first!” picking up the tea tree oil and rubbing it on your finger tips before putting it on him, a sigh of relief leaving his lips as he tilted his head back.
“see! all happy a good now arent cha?” you giggled. “im never doing that again, y/n” “lets go look!” you took his hand and pulled him back into the bathroom, you both stood in silence as you tried posing, his area still slightly red as his penis was just in the air, sitting there. “yeah never again, period” “since when do you say period, thomas?” “since you waxed off my skin” “it was your idea!” “and i regret every minute of it, its only gonna grow back” you glared at him as he gave you a blank stare. “just put on your clothes” “exactly what i was about to say!”
#tom holland x reader#tom holland#tom holland fanfic#tom holland x black!reader#tom holland imagine#tom holland x pregnant!reader#tom holland fluff#tom holland au
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i love bottling my feelings up its a fun time
#text#but i know once my stupid depressed brain starts sayin shit it wont stop so#im just uhhhhh sad#as per usual#tbd
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star wars!!! or cr if it's been requested already
the first character i ever fell in love with: obied wans,,,,,
a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: i love. LOVE. L O V E. ahsoka. however it’s true what they say when they say too much of a good thing is bad. she’s turning into the star wars version of varric and i am, how u say, Tired Of It.
a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: hilariously i simply do not care enough about shipping in star wars to have an answer for this one that’s not what i’m here for i’m here for the lightsaber combat and the jedi baybeeee
edit: wait i guess uhhhhh hanluke? i think there was like a solid three months where i liked it. it’s not that i don’t like it anymore it’s that i just don’t really think about it.... does this count
my ultimate favorite character™: [[GENERAL GRIEVOUS VOICE]] G E N E R A L K E N O B I,
i understand the sith only in that i, too, am absolutely obsessed with obi wan kenobi
prettiest character: even as an obi wan stan i know the correct answer is the one, the only, padme amidala
my most hated character: kylenol ronald
my OTP: STORMPILOT....... anidala but like if it was well written. hanleia bc i’m not saying they were formative, but like,, rogueish snarker falling in love with someone terrifyingly competent.... im just sayin.........
my NOTP: please no with the ob/kin or the qu/obi. or the an/soka. no master/padawan pairs in general i am begging of you to cease and desist
favorite episode: YOU WERE MY BROTHER ANAKIN. I LOVED YOU.
saddest death: maul’s because it didn’t stick hDJKSG sequel trio’s character arcs may they rest in fuckin peace. oh and anakin’s in ep 3 + qui gon’s in ep 1. ALDERAAN ): satine’s in tcw because truly can we stop fridging these ladies for the drama. padme too bc ‘she lost the will to live’ like hUH??? HELLO?????? i know we ascribe her dying to palps draining her of life to sustain vader but c’mon man what kinda bullshit reason was that like we coulda gone with literally anything else like oh idk a sith lord fucking FORCE CHOKING HER when she was heavily pregnant + the emotional/physical/mental stress of watching a literal genocide happen + the shitty air quality of mustafar like c’mon with the “lost the will to live” smh
favorite season: do i look like i remember which clone wars arc happened in which season. i still haven’t finished watching tcw not because i don’t want to but because i keep forgetting that after a certain point it’s just sadness all the way down and im not ready 2 relive that (order 66) yet
least favorite season: see above. does the sequel trilogy (except for tfa aka ‘the calm before the storm’) count bc i really think that that should count
character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: kylie renner. i just think he could’ve been written better but that’s applicable to anybody in the last two movies. he was interesting in tfa i will say. but as he was simply a dollar store version of anakin......... please. as if kyle has the range to accomplish what anakin did. the disrespect of it all. also hux bc i get it he’s a white boy but.... really?
my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: ANAKIN STOP PANAKIN
my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: god remember when padme was more than a love interest bc i’m trying to manifest this energy always
my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: don’t look at me okay the scene where jango and obi wan have that heated conversation in aotc lives in my head rent free
my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: i...... listen. listen obitine is cute but i really cannot get over the whole satine wholesale rejecting her culture like bro.....
#like i get what she's trying to do but also wtf#star wars#also i still can't believe palpatine canonically fucks#impossibletruths#ask#text
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me: genuinely gets sad seeing posts abt ppl having nice irl interactions w some stupid fucking band i like
#hhhhhhhhhhh#i get friend jealous so fucking easily oh my godddddd#im not even. invested in them as ppl i barely even know anything abt them other than like. the 6 total interview/tour vids i saw which rly#doesnt show that much lmao. like fucking. idk ik zach makes fidget spinner jokes. jake pranked someone once. uhhhhh nathans edgy fuckin. i#licherally dont know these ppl theyre just some random 23 yr old dudes who happen 2 make music i like fuck why do i care at all!!!!!!!!!!#idk i just saw some posts sayin abt how they had a cute/reassuring interaction w zach n im just.....god u wish that were me lmao........#am i just pissy abt how i missed the concert this yr???? am i upset bc they got an opportunity ill probably never get in my life???? am i#just a fucking attention seeking bitch who craves to be noticed an validated or i die???? yes yes and yes#bun.txt
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Im always a big slut for hurt/comfort, so if you made it Vang0Chainz I would perish. Also Burger Chainz trying to enculture Vang0Bang0 by having a movie marathon that turns into a sleepover. Also what if Burger knew Vang0 before he lost his memory but promised Vango that he'd never tell him who he was before. im also tipsy lol im jus throwing spaghetti places. i love your blog btwww
I was going to go to sleep but i saw this ask and had to start writing immediately (must have some weird dumb pavlovian response to vang0chainz) anyway this is super dumb hopefully, maybe you’ll enjoy it. it’s almost 5am and i didnt proofread this so its definitely a huge mess but uhhhhh here’s the trash you ordered
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“Will you stop fussing?” Vang0 says, snappier than he intended.
Burger Chainz pulls back from where he’d been inspecting Vang0’s hurt shoulder, a mix of hurt and embarrassment on his face.
“It’s not like this is the first time I’ve been shot,” Vang0 continues, “at least… I don’t think it is. Muscle memory or somethin’. Anyways, I mean it. I’m fine. And you hovering over me like I’m about to drop dead isn’t helping.”
Vang0’s not fine, obviously. He’s been shot which, muscle memory or not, stings like a bitch and more than anything makes him mourn for his jacket which there is no salvaging from the burn marks. A shame really, the chrome color had nearly matched that of his hair. He’d been thinking of turning it into his signature look, perfect for merchandising. Oh well. He wasn’t dead so that was a plus of sorts....
They were at Vang0 and Burger’s place (technically Vang0’s but Burger was there so often the distinction hardly felt necessary anymore) and, aside from the bullet wound, this was a pretty typical Saturday night. The TV providing a low din of noise to fill the empty spaces of whatever inane conversation was taking place between the two of them. Tonight was more tense than usual. Vang0 Bang0 was not a strong man. High charisma, low constitution. All that. Hiding pain wasn’t exactly in his repertoire but ignoring it? That he might be able to manage, especially if it stopped his massive cyborg friend from pulling the kicked puppy look for the next couple of hours.
Night City wasn’t exactly known for it’s premium broadcasting, most nights after midnight channels tended to switch to the same things. Classics. Vang0 didn’t care much for it, looking back at the past, even the fictional past, wasn’t really his thing. Burger Chainz, though, Burger Chainz loved them. Tried to hide it, Vang0 knew, but he’d referenced them often enough that Vang0 picked up. Vang0 was observant like that, even though he pretended not to be.
All this to say, it was after midnight, Vang0 was the one in pain, and yet Burger looked like he was the one on the verge of a breakdown. Vang0 took pity on him, the kind he only indulged in when the streams were turned off and the hour was late and he could pretend he and Burger were just normal friends, “What’s this one about again?”
Burger looks startled for a moment then glances briefly between the TV and Vang0, “Uhh, it’s a rom-com. He’s emailing another kid from his school but he doesn’t know who it is.”
Vang0 bites back a sardonic comment about how if this kid really wanted to know who his secret admirer was he could cross reference the dialogue patterns and… yeah maybe he can see why he’s not the most fun person to watch movies with and- oh. Burger is still talking.
“-things were different back then, ya know? People weren’t so… nice.”
Vang0 laughs, “You think people are nicer now?”
He gestures to the wound in his shoulder and Vang0 rolls his eyes (Eye? Can monochrome robotic eyes roll?) “Well, not bad folks maybe. Criminals still aren’t great. Prone to violence and all that. But normal people? Yeah I think they’re better.”
“Well aren’t you optimistic.”
Without missing a beat Burger replies with a wry smile, “Well, I have to be don’t I? With you around. Gotta cancel out that negative energy.”
Burger goes back to watching the TV, a slight uptick in the corners of his mouth. Vang0 can only look at him half dumbstruck, half distracted by the pain (getting shot really does hurt).
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Burger Chainz glances toward him, unsure, “Mean no offense. Just- you kind of assume the worst. About situations. ‘Bout people. Sometimes, even ‘bout yourself, if it’s not outta line to say.”
“It is.”
“Okay.” An awkward silence. Punctuated by the sounds of the film, too loud to be filling this space. This isn’t the conversation Vang0 wanted to be having. Not now. Not ever, if he could help it.
“How is it wrong for me to assume the worst? Huh? People do the worst all the time. We see it every day. You see the world we live in? You want me to be optimistic here? After everything I’ve gone through?”
Burger finally looks away from the screen, for once there’s no tension in his brow, only sureness. “I don’t want you to be anything other than yourself but goin’ through life thinking every shadow is out to get ya isn’t much of a way of livin’.”
“I didn’t think I’d have to remind you of all people that I have good reason to be distrustful.”
“You don’t. I-” he sighs, “I just wish you’d be willing to things as more than just black and white.”
“Oh forgive me if I’ve had some encounters,” he gestures to his shoulder, “that paint Night City in a bad light.”
Burger hesitates, “Does it hurt?”
“Obviously.”
“Right…”
They lapse into silence again, both of them staring at the screen but Vang0 can tell from the rigid set of Burger’s shoulders that he’s not really paying attention. He’s too on edge.
It’s not until after the emotional turning point of the film that Burger Chainz breaks the silence. The kid’s friends have all abandoned him, over something stupid Vang0 presumes despite not having paid much attention to what was going on. The kid was angry. Alone. And then the resolution starts and he’s so not alone anymore.
“It can’t all be bad though, right?” Burger asks tentatively.
Vang0 raises an eyebrow at him though which he means to convey Uh well, it is. In case you forgot I was shot by a person in your dumb city just a few hours ago. But which Burger Chainz apparently interprets as… honestly Vang0 has no clue how that man’s mind works.
“I- I mean. It’s not all bad all the time. Aside from the getting shot thing. Not great.”
“Can’t forget the memory wipe.”
Burger’s eye darts around the room, “R-right that too but- But. It’s not all bad. I mean, it’s pretty bad but think about it. You have an apartment and your fans and a sorta job and Dasha and- and me.”
He pauses.
“And that can’t all be bad. I’m only sayin’- the whole world ain’t out to get you, only part of it.”
This shouldn’t be comforting. At all. It should be unsettling. It should make Vang0 want to laugh bitterly and spout some brilliant sardonic response about the world being a cruel place that doesn’t care about people like him. But the music in the movie has shifted to something more hopeful. But it’s the late hours of the night where things like hope are less dangerous to feel. But Burger is looking at him with a soft look in his eyes. Like he really believes what he’s saying, the sap, and like he wants Vang0 to believe it too. He doesn’t but for just a second, Vang0 wants to. He wants to believe in a world with gentleness, the one Burger seems to be able to see where no one else can.
He sighs. Not a defeat. Not an agreement because Vang0 never yields. But an acceptance.
Vang0 tries to release the tension from his shoulders as much as he can, schooling his face into something less jaded. If anyone deserves to believe the world isn’t all sharp edges it’s Burger.
He looks between Burger and the screen, “So do these kid’s friends suck or is that just me?”
There’s a flash of disappointment across Burger’s face, but he’s never been one to push especially not with Vang0. If he drops the subject, Burger will follow. The flash is gone in an instant and a small smile grows across Burger’s face, any residual tension drifting away with it.
“Definitely not just you, they suck. You might’ve missed it but earlier they-”
And he semi-listens to Burger re-explain the plot of the movie he hadn’t bothered to pay attention to but he finds it capturing him more now. His attention is locked somewhere between the play-by-play and the actions occurring on screen. It’s the resolution now and everything seems to be coming together just a little to easily. The friends are back and the school is welcoming and the crush is confessed and everything is wrapped up too neatly for Vang0 to feel satisfied. There’s still a panging ache in his shoulder. His head is still chattering away as it has been since he woke up. Still there is that faint voice urging him to pull away. To focus on what he’s good at and make content and be alone and convince himself that that is enough. But the volume is so low that the old pop tune playing over the credits doesn’t feel abrasive. Burger is leaning in towards him slightly, conspiratorially, as if talking about this dumb classic is as important as mission details. There’s a smile on Burger’s lips that reaches his eyes. And Vang0 is content, for this moment, to pretend that happy endings are enough.
#this is... bad#but i tried and that counts for something#i was t*psy when i started writing this and am no longer t*psy if that gives and perspective#answered#burgerbang0#vang0chainz#Anonymous
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