#but uhhh hmmmm
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Fem soukoku au where chuuya gets reincarnated into a harem game she played and instead of romancing any of the male leads she falls in love with the villainess….
#im gonna be honest chat i dont actually read#a lot of reincarnation manhwas#but uhhh hmmmm#fyodor is the evil duke of the nort#or something#akutagawa is her bodyguard?#atsushi is a servant/butler#i want kunikida in this too but i have no clue what role to give him#yeah i dont actually have many ideas#and to be clear dazia falls in love FIRST#NOT CHUUYA#dazai fell first and harder belivers rise#soukoku#skk#dazai bsd#bsd dazai#chuuya bsd#bsd chuuya#chuuya nakahara#dazai osamu#bsd#bungo stray dogs#fem skk#fem soukoku#art#digital art#artist on tumblr#fanart#bsd fanart
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"it was awkward to see colin flirt and behave like a rake" "he gave me the ick" yes ! that is the fucking point!! congratulations! you have the media literacy skills of a fucking monkey because my 4-year old niece could understand it better than you do.
we are supposed to find colin cringey and annoying and get the ick because that is not who he is. he is not anthony, or simon, or even benedict. colin (apart from gregory) is the sweetest of all bridgerton brothers (i'm going by book canon) and his most identifiable character trait is the fact that he values an emotional connection above everything. he runs away to the continent because he wants to feel that emotional connection. he has meaningless sex in brothels because that is the example he has seen growing up, that is the norm. he tries so hard to fit into the norm. he goes out drinking, adopts an entirely new personality, learns flirtations because that is how he thinks he will fit in. he's got armour on, as violet said. he puts everyone's needs above his own, he stops rambling on and boring his family with details of his trip because he knows no one cares. he doesn't talk to anthony or benedict about his heartaches because he knows they still, somewhere in their heart of hearts, view him as the annoying younger brother. he's so devastated by his closest friend not responding to him that he adopts a new personality in the hopes that it might mask the hurt better. he runs after penelope in episode one because he is so attuned to her emotions that he knows she's hurting, and tries to comfort her even when she's spiraling and lashes out. he must have been hurt by her words in the "good night mr bridgerton" scene but he puts it aside to genuinely apologise to her when literally no one else in that family would do that. colin, instead of brooding over his own feelings, goes and corners penelope in her family's garden and apologises to her, disregarding his own hurt at being cruelly dismissed by his close friend.
penelope asking colin to kiss her is not a mark of how "pathetic" she is. she has written and shamed herself in a manner that is almost entirely unsalvageable. she is at her lowest point, and then portia comes in and reminds her of how undesirable she is, and she sinks even lower. she asks colin to kiss her because she sees it as a final act, after which she can quietly wave goodbye to her dreams of ever getting married and leaving her mother's home. colin kisses her because he is also keenly aware of how she's feeling. he knows how hurt she is, he wants to do anything to alleviate that. be it cracking a joke, or kissing her. he is gentle, because he wants it to be something she can dream of when she's by herself. penelope, at this moment, has no hope for herself, and their kiss is an act of letting go for her. no, it's not a pity kiss, no he did not like her after her glow up, he has always loved her. him being struck dumb is a reaction to her physical transformation, nothing more. he does not flirt with her in that ballroom scene, he only approaches her when she's in distress. he's not flirting with her. i can assure you penelope could wear the frumpiest most neon yellow gown of all time and colin would still go "<333 my pen" for her.
colin jumps to catch the balloon's ropes because he sees that penelope is in danger, he does not give a shit about anyone else lmao. he feels temporary relief when he sees eloise run to safety, but the moment he sees penelope in immediate danger, he rushes to take action. afterwards, when he sees that she's being comforted by debling (all my homies hate debling, even if he is aro/ace coded i do NOT claim him) he does not approach her. it would be easy for him to do so, but he does not, because he respects her boundaries. colin bridgerton is the only man in the ton who respects women (the featherington sons-in-laws are too pretty to have a thought) he calls out fife and his friends for treating women like objects and calls them cavalier. the only way he would have been more explicit about his demisexuality was if he tap danced on the club table (entertaining thought, luke newton please)
colin also rapidly takes action, something which no one in the show has done so far. simon would have died instead of accepting his feelings for daphne, daphne would have been content with a loveless marriage forever instead of asking for help. kate would have pushed edwina down the aisle and gone off to india instead of confronting her own feelings, and anthony would have married edwina if she hadn't been brave enough for the three of them to run from the altar and ruin herself. penelope stood on the sidelines for years and loved him quietly because she had no hope of him loving her back. colin, the moment he is assured of his feelings, runs to penelope, almost kisses her in the middle of a ballroom. when he hears that debling is about to propose, he goes to the ball, just to dissuade penelope one more time. he cuts into their dance because he's desperate. when he runs after her carriage, he asks her if she has been proposed to, because he would not have touched her otherwise. he confesses his feelings to her only when he knows that she hasn't gotten engaged to debling, and when she says "but we are friends" he moves away. nothing more. he would have let her go, if she did not return his feelings.
idk whether i should be flattered or offended at people misunderstanding this season because on one hand it is offensive, but on the other hand, it means only smart people get polin. seriously. your minds have been rotted by insta-love and enemies to lovers that you can't even appreciate the innate beauty of friends to lovers. being friends with someone and then holding all those feelings for them. the trepidation of possible rejection. the fulfillment of being loved by the person who knows you the best of them all. the privilege of loving someone whose feelings you know better than your own. love is gentle and kind and yes it is a violent, uprooting force but above all, love does not hurt anyone. it does not hurt you. i could love someone quietly for years and it wouldn't bother me if their feelings were requited or not because my feelings are none of their business and i consider it a privilege to love and be loved by them, even if it is not in the way i would want it to be. polin are privileged in the highest sense. they know each other better than anyone else, they know how to love each other better than anyone else. to think they are rushed or they dont deserve each other is a disservice to both of them. they would be miserable with anyone else.
in other matters, if i see one more person talking smack about luke or nicola behind the safety of their screens i will personally get a bazooka.
#bridgerton#polin#bridgerton season 3#colin bridgerton#penelope featherington#colin x penelope#colin my beautiful boy i will avenge you from these dumb people#penelope my sweet girl you are a dumbass but i am rooting for you and the love of your life#also anyone else see that complex female characters on this show are much better written when there's a woman running it?#hmmmm jess brownell you have my respect...for now#long rant but uhhh i am writing a fanfic where i erase the mistakes of cvd (the ghastly man)#the only good thing you did was the casting and i doubt you had a hand in it at ALL#luke newton and nicola coughlan the ACTORS that you are
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Can a conniving octopus and an equally conniving squid fall in love........
#utmv#inkmare#nightmare sans#nightink#ink sans#sanscest#zu yapping#should i draw more of my uhhh mer inkmare designs.... hmmmm
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first the pirate poll drama and now the stucky fans are frothing at the mouth lmao. literally i think everyone just hates the ofmd fandom bc they want what we have (queer queer romance written by a diverse writers room that actually cares about the characters and the story they're telling)
#for the record stucky was a FORMATIVE ship for me. it shaped me as a person it changed my literal brain chemistry forever.#i get it!! i know my hersory!!! i just really don't care who wins lol#Who Cares#the anger abt it all is so fucking funny tho fjdkshjkf#ofmd#our flag means death#gentlebeard#blackbonnet#mcu#txt#mine#og#stucky poll#anyway in case this breaks containment uhhh what are some disclaimers i should make. hmmmm.#ok so ofmd is not perfect and i have a whole tag for criticizing it (yes this includes criticizing the entire premise)#yes also the ofmd fandom is annoying but so is every fandom who cares#also idc if you voted for stucky or gentlebeard im just here to laugh when ppl get rlly mad abt tumblr polls
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Back at it again
Hhhhzhzhznzn I’ve been having a rough time w social events n stuff lately so I’m very eepy 😔
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maybe..,. maybe it's time I finally add Ten Piedad to my f/os list.
But watch out.
#i think he has earned it (<- both a treat and a threat)#and yet. and yet....#much to ponder hmmmm#ok I'll explain for once bear with me#the biggest problem is that i don't have a S/I for him#for now I've just been pairing him with my Monstersona but now it ain't enough#i need a s/i that's canon compliant#so ofc i thought: no biggie I'll just reskin them so they look like they're from blasphemous but uhhh#the issue is that i need some juicy lore to put into. otherwise they'll look bland. generic even.#and god forbid that. I'd rather starve.#but I'm not in the best place mentally to put myself into working on this so I'm just. stuck.#and i hate it!!! augh!!!! i just wanna kiss and bite and smooch and knead the big scary goat man WAAAAAAAAAAHH#anyways. that's on that. thanks for coming to my rant show.#echoes from the fog
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would you believe me if i told you that before i started drawing this i told myself it would just be sketchy lineart
#kakavege#goku#vegeta#dragon ball z#dbz#my art#they're ss4 cause uhhh hmmmm well you see#its hot#also gokus like holding his legs or something thats why hes taller#OR WAIT no vegeta is extra enough to be flying to gain that height advantage hghsjhgj
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god the trailers were so good..... the rhaenyra daemon contingent actively coordinating a war while aegon pouts and alicent suffers the horrors and aemond stalks around mewing
#daemon knee deep in mud like: aegon the usurper and my other nephew the uhhhh uhhh hmmmm Not Aegon#hotd
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no promises anymoooooreeeee i'll appear online when i appear online 😭 every time i say "ooh i think life is almost done being overwhelming!" it. becomes even more overwhelming in the dumbest ways. all i can manage rn when i'm not stressing myself into a shut-down state is staring at the wall while listening to youtube essays + mindlessly crocheting.
i might queue up ppls art and fics w/o commentary in the tags... i want other ppl to see what all of my cool friends have made, but i genuinely can't think right now with this monstrous brain fog. i'm really sorry, just. yeah. maybe i'll think of some way to make it up later!!! once the dust has settled!!!! but until then i wuv u and miss u. smiles.
[venting in tags including familial manipulation and ableism. i. didn't mean to write all of that, thiss was originally going to be a main blog post but. aaaaaAAAAAA!!!!!
also no need for replies or anything, i'd turn them off for just the one post if i could kjsndkn, i just needed to get things out and go eep jsjndsfdn ok bye bye bye bye!!!!]
#goddd my family finds it sooooooo funny that i can't do basic tasks! it's soooo funny that i can't even think of a horror movie to watch#on halloween bc i genuinely can't remember a single one right now. it's soooo funny that i can't take cardboard boxes or#old furniture out of my room without help bc i've physically and mentally and emotionally burnt out for Months.#and me not being able to move shit out after two (2) days makes me a hoarder somehow. and ofc hoarding is a moral failing#and my mom has to give me a stern talking-to about hoarding things... that were. again. in my room for 2 days....#[tbc it isnt a moral failing no matter the reason. life is hard and things happen and it can be hard to get rid of things for Reasons.]#nevermind them making constant snide remarks about me using ugly 'mismatched' desk / storage furniture. bc it was free / cheap? no income??#AND!!!!! i have a couple of new diagnoses. which doesn't change much day to day but it does make my family making fun of me#even more dumbfounding. like. this explains a lot of really scary unexplained symptoms that constantly leave me#housebound for weeks but uhhh haha hehe hoho??? so silly so funny that i'm barely conscious for multiple weeks???#and you can see that i'm getting worse but that makes it funnier??? hmm!!!#also nevermind that i've told them the exact reason why i've been like this (read: them) but that ALSO makes it funnier somehow.#but i also can't say shit bc they're doing something ~nice~ for me (out of convenience + after almost a decade of 'don't get comfortable'#and 'don't decorate this room bc it isn't yours' and 'you need to be ready to move out by x date'#only for the date to arrive and them to pull the 'i never said that. and if i did say it i didn't mean it like that.#and if i did mean it like that i don't anymore.' card. + any big renovations are things they wanted anyway. hmmmm!!#and how i have to do all of the phys labor alone bc if i ask for help i get made fun of!!! and yelled at that i'm doing things Wrong#(hint: i'm following instructions to the letter but. my family knows better than those silly things!! ^^ ))#jfc i sure did rant. uh. yeah. things. are really weird and uncomfy and i feel thankful that i finally can have my own things on display#outside of closets and bins again after a decade?? but i'm also waiting for the other shoe to drop / them to tell me i owe them in#some way??? bc that's how it works. 'i'm doing a nice thing you didn't even ask me for so now you have to do whatever i tell you to.'#meanwhile i can't even maladaptive daydream my way through it bc my brain is soup right now. can't remember basic things abt#my interests bc i've been on negative battery / spoons for a couple of months straight and it's only getting worse.#OKAY TLDR i'm not in a state to do anything until everything irl gets settled. and i'm trying So Hard to get it all over with but there's#only so much i can do in a day before i completely shut down. i didn't even get into the insurance stuff i've been fighting too ughhhh.#so if i show up on here in short spurts -- hi! bye! hi!! i wuv and care u!!! hope youre well mwah mwah!!!!!!! i'll post what i can and then#disappear when i need to recharge. it is what it is. i need to try to sleep now... uh if this post disappears when i wake up.... yeah......#📌 [ my posts. ]#💭 [ my thoughts. ]#vent -
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Rahajkaoaiwb so many things to do!! Idol Au mob Au Original Au and I want to draw more of yall’s ocs y'all’s ocs is too cool not to draw!! Ksidjjsj and now I wanna make Beary in Actor Au too!! How am I supposed to do all that before I have to go back to university wahhhhhauudiwijsjsijsisi;-;
#uhhh#I wonder what should Beary be in the actor au#in the original she is model#should she be a model too in the actor Au??#or she should be an actress and model???#I need more time to think about this hmmmm#ohhh actor for an action movie is sound good#don't mind me pls#just feel overwhelmed#need to let it out akakakodiiw#7 days before going back to university…
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Fuuuuucj I was supposed to think of an animal crossing island name. I forgot to think of one. Hmmmmmmmmm.....
#I think my past names that I can remember are: Bagport Asterton ...#Uhhh and my first island was named Friendship and second island was Iste Bayip#Hmmmm..... another port would be cute .... idk I gotta think ...
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i like how the area zero underdepths force you to use miraidon to get anywhere. feels very high stakes seeing The Abyss between all these cliffs and pillars
#clai speaks#indigo disk spoilers#pokemon spoilers#pokemon dlc spoilers#also STELLAR TERA TYPE.....#i dont understand what it does tho bc uhhh all my pokemon have been taking out the tera in one shot HJDBJFHF#i'm collecting stellar shards too so i assume i can put stellar tera on anyone.... hmmmm decisions decisions
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funky trade for @/breadkittyistheone on toyhouse! (i keep forgetting if they have a tumblr...)
Interested in supporting my work? Check my pinned post! Please reblog this art if you like it, every share helps!
#flat colors#fullbody#artists on tumblr#uhhh....hmmmm what else to tag#cryptid#eldritch#eye strain tw#cuz i used pure blacks/whites/red....#this was a very experimental trade bc the character was such a funky beast i wanted to play with other brushes and scratchy marks
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Silo's family using the N-word with a hard R and I know enough Spanish to know it's not in a 'describing a black cat' sorta way:
#well they were talking in English at the moment so uhhh#it was used as a noun and an insult uhhh#like No youre the HMMMM#text post#they were calling a family member with like caramel skin that like uhhh
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tapping out at the perfect moment ehehehe
(honestly 666 to everyone in the hu ge/dage bracket MAD RESPECT)
#小小的凑了一波数#there was one other person in the xz bracket also voting now and i was like…..please vote a bit slower i just need to take a screenshot 😂#ANYWAY uhhh i put hong yao in the lead strictly for ning-ge’s sake y’all can take over from here 😂👌🏼#i was toying with the idea of tipping liu xueyi’s bracket but i looked at the numbers and HMMMM#all i could do for lxy and lyx was the 1314 😂 1314都是我的好哥哥😂#comfortable lead for dage atm but 你们看着守���吧,不行我明天再来🫡#gege bracket 2023
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