#but u gotta. be nice and realise u have a lot in common with everyone with EVERYONE

[kil9]

yeah i just think we dug ourselvs a bit of a hole as the "special snowflake swjs" by creating an endless loop where we are touchy About being touchy so any criticism of this side of politics automatically means that youre on the evil side so then we just became the caricature that everyone thought we were. it kindof sucks and i see it happen to the younger generation as well which is crasy. it took me too long to realise that the way to get more allies is to. not disown ppl for tiny mistakes & to learn to prioritize and stuff. then there will still be people like "you let the tiny mistake slide. does that mean you think murder is ok?" like get a grip i guess... i duno im kinda not an expert or anything i just like to think a lot

[seonghwa-is-babie]

Pretty baby

Seonghwa x male reader

Y/n has been working a lot these past few weeks, which is stressing him out, fortunately, seonghwa knows exactly how to help

Warning: nsfw after a long time of fluff(guys in lingerie, hickeys, anal sex, pet names, sub seonghwa, dom male reader)

Note: back at it again with these from watpad, hope this one turned out good ;-; This took a while, sorry, but I hope you'll like it or find it decent at least :)

Seonghwa had noticed y/n acting.... Strange, he always had a tired expression on his face, he'd get irritated more easily and he came home later then usual. When the younger asked him about it, y/n said it was work, then went to bed

As this behaviour started becoming more common as days went by, he had to do something to get the other's mind of off his job, luckily he had his members who were more then willing to help

🐯

"guys, I'm starting to get worried about y/n, he's been working so hard, too hard, he looks so stressed and tired out" he gazed towards the his other members "what should I do?"

"you could try to get him to relax after work, maybe a massage or something?" Hongjoong suggested "I don't know, I don't wanna keep him up longer than he has to be" seonghwa said a bit concerned

"I got it!" San shouted, to everyone's surprise "how about you convince his boss to let him have a day off and you can help him relax all day" seonghwa looked at the younger in awe "San... That's brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?" he got up to grab his coat, wallet and keys "I'm going out to get some supplies!"

🐯

It was almost 11 pm when y/n came home, his boss made him work over time again. Lately he's just been getting way too much work from his boss and it's been stressing him out a lot,to the point where he can't even pay enough attention to his boyfriend due to all the work and stress.

He makes his way to his and seonghwa's shared bedroom and saw the light was still on, he opened the door, spotting seonghwa tapping away on his phone"hey baby, sorry for being late again" the latter looked up at him as he got dressed into his nightwear "it's alright honey, I know how important work is for you" as y/n got into bed, seonghwa pulled him closer and nuzzled his face into the older's chest

🐯

Y/n woke up around 10 am, which was 3 hours later than usual because someone () turned off his alarm clock for the day. Once he saw what time it was he rushed out off bed to head downstairs for a quick breakfast, not knowing someone was already downstairs on the phone, talking to his boss

"hi, this is Park Seonghwa, y/n's partner. I called to inform you that he can't come to work today, he's feeling pretty sick today" seonghwa said, hoping this would convince the man "well, fine, but he better come to work again tomorrow" he smiled and nodded "of course sir, I'll make sure he's up and running by tomorrow. Have a good day" he hung up and saw y/n standing at the doorway in awe

"how did you do that?" seonghwa threw a smug smile at the older "acting, love, you should try it sometime. Anyway, come sit, I'm making breakfast for us" y/n smiled fondly at his boyfriend and sat down at the table

🐯

"so, how was it?" seonghwa asked as they finished breakfast "fantastic baby, just like everything else you make" he blushed and looked away, focusing on washing the dishes instead "Could you go run a bath? I'm almost done here" y/n nodded "yeah sure"

As he went to the bathroom, seonghwa smiled to himself "he's already so much more relaxed than last night, I guess I'm doing a good job"

he finished drying the dishes and putting them back where they belong, and made his way to the bathroom to find his boyfriend in the middle of taking off his clothes "oh, hey baby, I was just getting ready" the younger nodded, a bit flustered at seeing his bare body, though he's seen it thousands of times "just tell me when you're ready and I'll get started, alright?"

"ready for what" y/n said as he got into the tub "oh right, I wanted to try massaging you, I heard from the members it can be quite relaxing, so I wanted to try it" he smiled up at seonghwa "you really planned it all out for today, huh?"

"if it's gonna get you relaxed and less exhausted then it's worth it" the smaller pulled a small chair to be able to sit comfortably behind his lover

His hands reached the older's shoulders and started softly massaging them, making the latter instantly relax "does it feel good, honey?" y/n nodded "amazing, how'd you learn to do this" seonghwa stopped for a second "ummm, I had to practice on the other members" he said a bit flustered

"your hands feel so soft and delicate against my skin" y/n pointed out "well, I don't have my mother's hands for nothing now do I?" the latter chuckled

🐯

The rest of the day was spent with seonghwa trying out different things to help y/n relax, even more mature stuff, which y/n discovered during dinner

He was focusing on his food when he caught a glimpse of something red across the table, his first thought was that seonghwa had spilled something, but he was proven very wrong when he looked a bit clearer, it was a strap, most likely from some type of bra

When seonghwa noticed y/n staring at his shoulder he realised a bit too late where he was looking but still did his best to cover it back up before changing the subject "so how is it?" y/n snapped back out of his trance "ummm, good, delicious actually." seonghwa smiled at him, hoping he'd forgotten about the strap

🐯

As y/n was brushing his teeth, all he could think of was the strap, why was seonghwa wearing it? When did he even buy that? Maybe he should should just ask

"hey baby, what was that red thi-" he paused as he saw seonghwa sitting there in a big silky robe, normally he'd have his pajamas on. he made his way over to y/n "isn't that robe a bit too big on you" y/n smiled at how small his boyfriend looked in it "well, it was big enough to hide my little surprise" seonghwa undid the knot the robe had on his waist and revealed a red lingerie set that made him even more sexy than he already was, in y/n's opinion.

"holy fuck" y/n whispered "do you like it? Seonghwa smirked" I love it" he said against the younger's lips, kissing him passionately. Seonghwa started slowly moving back towards the bed, sinking down on it as y/n got between his legs, softly grinding on him "such a pretty baby, all dressed up for me" seonghwa bit his lip to prevent any moans coming loose "you-hm!-ve been so-oh!- stressed, wanted to help yo-ah!-u" he said, clearly struggling to hold back his moans

Seonghwa started grabbing at y/n's shirt, wanting it off, he continued like this for all of his clothes, till he was left bare.

"aren't you gonna strip for me baby? This doesn't seem very fair, now does it?" y/n asked teasingly, to which seonghwa bit his lip and started taking off his panties, bra and leaving the stockings on.

Just as y/n was grabbing the lube to put on his fingers to prep seonghwa, the latter stopped him "I already prepped beforehand" the older was still a bit hesitant "you sure it's not gonna hurt?" not wanting to hurt his lover "don't worry, I'll be fine" seonghwa reassured the older.

Y/n sank his cock into seonghwa's puckering hole, the latter biting his lip. He waited until he adjusted to the taller's size "y-you can move" y/n started slowly moving in and out of seonghwa, only speeding up if seonghwa asked him to.

Though he was still holding back his moans, y/n noticed this "why are you holding back baby? Let it all out, you know how much I love those pretty noises you make" and that was apparently all it took for seonghwa to let out his moans and groans. Y/n smirked, speeding up a bit

"ah!~ y/n you feel so good inside of me~ah!" y/n smirked "that's it babyboy, just like that" he started thrusting his hips harder, making seonghwa's moans even louder as he hit the younger's prostate "oh~ yes! right there~!"

y/n felt his climax approaching as his boyfriend's entrance kept getting tighter around his cock, indicating the younger was close as well, y/n took this opportunity to lavish his neck and chest "ah!~" y/n kept pounding and nipping at his skin, he knew seonghwa was nearing his orgasm "ah! I'm close!" seonghwa cried out "me too baby, just a bit longer" y/n groaned

After a few more thrusts, y/n came inside of seonghwa, the younger cumming on both of their chests. After pulling out, y/n took a moment to breathe, before helping seonghwa take off his stockings, lifting him up, and carrying him towards the bathroom "let me help you this time, you've been doing things for me all day" seonghwa smiled and nuzzled his face into the older's shoulder

🐯

"there we go baby, all nice and clean, just how you like it" y/n said as he helped his boyfriend dry off "my cute little baby" he ruffled his hair "I just got that done" seonghwa pouted, but quickly changed to a smile

They got dressed in their nightwear and got in bed after changing the sheets "y/n" said person turned to face his lover "Did I do good today?" y/n nodded "yes baby, you did more than good, and I really appreciated all that you've done for me today. I love you" seonghwa moved closer to y/n "I love you too" they shared a quick peck "let's go to sleep, I've gotta get up early tomorrow" seonghwa nodded and nuzzled his face into y/n's chest "goodnight honey"

🐯

The next day at work y/n was seated at his desk, doing some paper work, when he got a phone call from Hongjoong "hey Hongjoong, what's up?" Hongjoong let out a sigh and y/n immediately knew why he called "yah, why'd you two have fuck before a dance practice day? Of all days, why?!" y/n grinned "well it's not his fault you don't get dick as good as he does" it went silent on the other side "..... YA-" before Hongjoong could shout his ears off, he hung up and glanced at a picture of him and seonghwa on his desk "I hope they won't tease you too much baby"

Meanwhile in KQ, the rest off the members were laughing at Hongjoong's outburst whilst seonghwa was a blushing mess, very sore on a day they had to do nothing but dance and move

[ichirostitties]

I'LL BE ONE OF THE FIRST ASKS!! WELCOME FRIEND! (This is Mod Ramuda from Marble Texture Imagines!) Do you mind doing some fluffy headcanons for Fling Posse and Doppo waking up with their S/O in the morning? Like Routines, etc. It can be scenarios or headcanons or whatever is easiest for you! Thank you so much and have fun!!!! 💛💙💛💙💛💙

OH THIS ONE WAS SO CUTE IT MADE MY HEART GO LIKE UUGHJGGASGHJKSF i love them so much

Ramuda

-man imagine waking up next to ratmuda wouldn’t that be the wackiest time (u wake up to owo right in ur face)

-ok but he’s probably really clingy so you’d probably wake up and find that he’s lying half on top of you. either that or he’s just hugging you from behind because he wants to feel like you’re his if you get what i mean. ramuda is possessive ok

-you probably wouldn’t be able to move until he wakes up because he’s just that clingy and whiny (dw tho if you actually annoyed him fr he wouldn’t have let you sleep in the bed in the first place)

-sometimes you wake up and he’s already been up for a while, either way you still wake up to “hewwo hewwo onee-san ya ya ya minna genki ii ne ii ne”. Ramuda is still high-energy in the morning I think.

-if you have to get up to go somewhere he’d maybe let you go but you’d have to ask really nicely

-if he wants to have sexy times ur going to have sexy times that’s just how it is but i wont go into any detail this is a Christian ask

-he eats candy 4 breakfast (ok but for real are his teeth ok??) no ok so i think he’d love to make breakfast with you. he acts really cutesy 99% of the time so it’d probably be a lot of fun!! Ramuda’s a fun dude who’d still call you onee-san even after you’ve married him.

-usually though you guys probably just do your own thing food-wise (aka you have something normal like toast and he has 60 donuts or something) and just chill out. I think Ramuda is the kind of person who needs to trust someone before he even lets them get remotely closer than just a one-off date like everyone else and um. u moved in with him so i guess he trusts u now for the most part. you can probably talk to him about anything and he’d go with it.

-he’s really affectionate as usual so he’s probably really touchy and u get lollipop breath in ur face cause he wont stop smooching u sometimes (if he can reach). but do u smooch him back?? absolutely

-overall Ramuda doesn’t actually enjoy the company of others as much as he seems to, so I think he’d really appreciate just being able to spend the morning doing meaningless things with someone. He’s actually genuinely sweet when it’s someone he loves, even if he just plays it off as him being his normal self

-he’s babey!!

Dice

-damn where would u guys even wake up. wild.

-In all seriousness Dice would simultaneously the best and worst person to wake up to (at your place definitely because he’s lost his poor babey). He’s so affectionate he’s probably clinging to you in some way (maybe a little too tightly but you probably don’t mind. he’s a cutie)

-well it’s either that or he’s completely sprawled out and has taken All of the blanket and his arm is across your chest or something and is probably snoring or sleep-talking (IT’S CANON THAT HE DOES BOTH AND IT’S THE CUTEST THING EVERB I LOVE DAISU). so you may wake up to that or because of that. honestly it’s probably not a big deal since you’ve been with him for this long lol

-uh oh i can feel my dice love coming out ughgjhjhjgjghasd oh no here it goes

-dice 100% wants to go back to sleep once he’s up (”I WAS DREAMING I GOT TRIPLE 7s BABE U GOTTA LET ME GO BACK TO SLEEP”) and you probably just go with it cause he’s r eally cute + u get to hug him for longer so i really don’t see any negatives

-unless you’ve gotta be somewhere then uhh gl!! you’ll have to drag yourself from his grip if you’ve woken up with him holding you and if not you’ll have to manually move each Dice Body Part that is currently laying across you so you can actually move (and you’d probably have to leave just as he’s waking up/he probably hasn’t woken up yet. but if he was up he’d give u the biggest hug ever before thanking you endlessly that you let him stay with you)

-but if you didn’t have to go anywhere it’d be a really relaxing and chill time! Dice isn’t really used to having a place to stay so he’d be SO grateful like aww,,babey ;( 

-he eats so MUCH and isn’t past pouring cereal and milk on toast or something outrageous like that. hopefully you don’t mind him eating so much! he swears he’ll pay you back (and he will for sure). except he says it with his mouth stuffed full of food so you may have to ask him to repeat himself (or you can just make fun of him if you want. he has the best reactions)

-dice is probably itching to head down to the slot machines (esp after his dream lmao) but he’d be content to stay with you for the morning because he usually doesn’t head out this early anyway!! and he loves spending time with you

-if u play mobile gacha games u guys go through the morning login bonuses together aw how romantic

-every morning with dice would be something different cause he’s just an unpredictable guy honestly, like I don’t think you guys would have a set routine. he’d have some wacky dream to tell you about every morning and you just sit there and listen and nod because 9 times out of 10 they make no sense but you go with it because It’s Dice

-he’s so cute please love him he takes all my uwus

Gentaro

-Gentaro is almost always up before you, he strikes me as an early morning person, so you would almost never wake up to him. He’s not used to affection so if you did wake up next to him and hug him or something he’d probably get really tense and wake up immediately. you could possibly get him to go back to sleep but for Gentaro it seems like once he’s up, he’s up

-not in a creepy way or anything, but Gentaro really likes to watch you sleep cause you look so relaxed and peaceful, and it puts him at ease. he takes half a minute or so to appreciate your sleeping face before he gets up for real. He doesn’t realise that sometimes you’re awake when he does this and you are 100% aware of it. but it’s okay you think he’s cute

-he’s probably sitting at the table drinking tea or something. When you get up he probably just smiles at you while you wake up. I’d like to think this is part of the routine, he smiles to acknowledge your presence while you wake up properly and it just sort of happens every morning

-mornings with Gentaro are usually really quiet. Neither of you feel the need to say much, so there’s a fair amount of comfortable silence and it’s really nice. Even if you have a bad sleep, Gentaro will always be waiting at the table with his cup of tea (and some for you if you like it :0) 

-I think he’d like to tell you stories to wake up, especially if you’re stressed! Honestly he’d put so much effort into making you feel loved, but only in ways that aren’t immediately noticeable because he still isn’t used to intimacy and he probably still gets embarrassed even now ow i hurt myself thinking about gentaro’s past ok i’ll stop

-he really enjoys your company no matter what you’re doing, but I think what Gentaro enjoys most about mornings is that you guys just get to talk. He finds you so interesting to speak to (he himself is super interesting?? he knows so much) and he loves learning about you. Early morning and late at night is probably the prime time for you guys to just talk, so that’s what he looks forward to the most. Gentaro is so sappy he’s secretly a big romantic what a softie

Doppo

-THIS POOR MAN he really really doesn’t wanna get up :^( since he works all weekdays, this would unfortunately be the most common way to spend mornings with him

-his alarm goes off and he just knows he hasn’t had enough sleep, and he wakes up next to you he wants to leave even less, but he has to (the devil works hard but doppo kannonzaka works harder)

-most mornings he wakes up before you, but you’re usually up before he leaves, just in time to wish him the best before he leaves (please give him the biggest hug ever he really deserves all the love). He doesn’t have time to make himself breakfast most likely, so he just has coffee or whatever and leaves. He feels really guilty for not being able to get anything ready for you though :^(

-if you get up before him you could make him breakfast!! He’d really appreciate it and probably apologise for making you do that, but you can assure him it was all of your own will. He would probably be close to tears he’s so happy to have someone like you aww

-on his days off Doppo sleeps like a brick, so you’d almost always wake up before him and he’s definitely tangled up with you cause he really really enjoys your warmth

-he doesn’t wanna get up, so mornings where he doesn’t have work are s o lazy. You just lie in bed with him while he sleeps, but if you really want to get up he’d probably whine and pull you back. It would be an endless struggle and honestly who can say no to him (just look at him..uwu!!!)

-by the time you get up it isn’t the morning anymore. Doppo probably gets anxious about it being another few hours closer to him having to go to work again but he has you there to reassure him that it’s okay, and find something calming for you guys to do for the rest of the day. 

-please love doppo he deserves a big rest!!! i love him so much i want to give him all my support ;( he’s so soft

[teddystrap]

[神なる君と] Spirit duo - Rei

なんかちょっとラ��トスパートな感じですけど…

Rei is the friendly spirit that Sakuya and co. met when they were investigating rumours about hauntings in the old school building. He’s arguably the most ‘mysterious’ character, since nothing is known about his former life, and I was super curious what his deal is. Not to mention he’s the final obstacle standing between me and Mikoto!! Ψ(￣∀￣)Ψケケケ

Truth be told he’s not really my type, though - since I’m not 15 anymore. I mean he’s a ghost but looks more like a forest elf / Mori Boy circa. 2001, and his voice sounds like it’s breaking. Compared to the other characters also he has a personality (or lack thereof) that is blander than konnyaku. In fact I found myself opening all the Yuzuru options in his common route first before going back and redoing them for Rei, because senpai saranghae I only wanna be wit u <3... 

Aaanyway.

-Mizuniwa Rei-

Rei-kun’s common route was actually quite revealing and interesting - in two of his ema, Mikoto actually asked to tag along, so it seemed like there might be some important information there idk. 

In his second ema, Mikoto tells Sakuya that she has the power to push people who are on the brink between Life and Death into one world or another, depending on what kind of guidance she gives.

Which in retrospect seemed like heavy foreshadowing for what’s about to come.

Fuu-san’s backstory was also revealed here:

Around 10 years ago, Fuu-san and his bff, a boy named Kawashina Yuuya, were students at Mikagurayama High School. One day they found a hidden basement storage room in the old school building, and turned it into their hang-out spot.

The basement used to be a bomb shelter, and had some books left over on occult spells and curses, that were used during the war to protect the townspeople. Fuu-san found a book with a spell to summon the powers of the Great Demon, and wanted to try it out of fun/boredom, but Yuuya was against it.

So Fuu-san did it by himself anyway. He got the sealed cursed box from the magical cave and took it back to the basement to perform the spell. Halfway through he passed out... and when he came to, he realised that Yuuya saved him by transferring the spell onto himself. 

Yuuya never woke up again, despite a lot of medical attention and whatnot. After half a year, Fuu-san decided to quit school and skip town to learn exorcism so that he can save his friend. But when he finally returned a few years later, Yuuya had already died...

Fuu-san lived with guilt all these years and thought that Yuuya died hating him. But when he went down to the basement with Sakuya to liberate his spirit, Yuuya’s spirit communicated through Sakuya that he doesn’t ever regret saving Fuu-san, and he hopes Fuu-san can stop blaming himself and go forward in life, smiling... By this point I was pretty much crying like a baby... ｡･ﾟ･(ﾉД｀)･ﾟ･｡

Oh how I wish there was a Su-sa-no-o in my neighbourhood, with a sexy store-owner like Fuu-san... 

But we’re not here to court Fuu-san (I wish we could, mang. I wish we could), so let’s get back to Rei. In his route Sakuya tries to help him to find out about his family and his past. She asks Aki for help ofc, and Aki reports back that she couldn’t find anyone matching Rei’s description in the database of deaths, nor the missing persons list...

And the mystery deepens dun-dun-DUN. This would’ve made for an interesting story development,... except the writers totally abandon it and instead opt for Rei and Sakuya frolicking around in the forest, true to his Mori Boy style (wholesomely tho, since they are both underage XD). Then Rei realises that he’s not long for this world, and he tries to put some distance between them - but Sakuya eventually convinces him that they should spend his last remaining time on earth together and make lots of beautiful (wholesome) memories.

There were a lot of group events in his route, which was nice since I got to see Yuzuru-senpai mucho. (Although he’s not an option here obvsly T_T)

You know I will happily choke on a fish bone for you, senpai <3.

So hoshimatsuri night, Rei undergoes the ceremony to pass into the other world. Sakuya stays home, because she’s not strong enough to go and say goodbye to him. Is this like deja vu from the Yorihito/Nisei story arc or what?? ...After that, Sakuya goes to the old school building one day after school, and finds a note from Rei. SURPRISE - he’s still here.

...

It turns out that Sakuya’s, uhh, clinginess is keeping him from successfully departing. At this rate he’s going to grow weaker and weaker and become trapped in the interstitial space between two worlds - forever. They keep communicating through notes, and through voice chatting over radio, while Sakuya grows enough balls to finally let him go.

Eventually she does. Because let’s face it - Otomate can’t afford to pay their seiyuu to carry on a story for like two gajillion chapters.

In his final moment of departure, he appears to Sakuya in a dream, but they can’t hear each other’s voice. Just as Sakuya is freaking out, he pulls her in and kisses her, then disappears into the ether. (*ฅ́˘ฅ̀*)♡

...I guess Yuzuru and Rei’s routes don’t work the same way as Narumi and Yakumo’s, bc you don’t get the alternative ending by choosing the ‘wrong’ option for the last couple of choices. I wasn’t strong enough for senpai’s bad end, but I was actually pretty curious about Rei’s, although all the same I wasn’t able to unlock it. Either way I hope he didn’t get stuck in between worlds forever, poor kid has been through enough.

1. Good end: Fast forward 10 years, Sakuya becomes a teacher at Mikagurayama High School, just as Rei had hoped. She still goes to the garden every day to take care of Rei’s flowers. The old school building is about to be torn down because it’s too old and might be a safety hazard. She’s on her way there one last time... when she gets a call from Aki, who finally found out what happened with Rei’s past-life investigation 10 years ago. Unfortunately Aki trips on something and the line cuts off before we get to hear it. _(:3」∠)_

So Sakuya is there happily watering her flowers, when guess who appears - ahem *Rei*, now all grown up. He tells her that this time he’s not a spirit anymore... and the scene just ends there. I’ve seen a lot of abrupt endings but this has gotta take the cake. Although I’ll admit adult Rei is kinda sorta smoking hot, so less talk more making out!

[Thoughts] What can I say? This route really didn’t explain as much as I thought it would, although there were some good bits. For one, the Fuu-san backstory really got to me. Fuu-san was always the side character that I was most curious about, since he seems kind of... shady, and like he might’ve had a colourful past. His arc really delivered, and it’s my favourite out of all the four side stories, although I loved them all in their own way.

I was expecting to find out about Rei’s past here, but I guess the writers are saving it for Mikoto’s route / wrap-up, which almost certainly means there’s going to be a surprise revelation. So I am looking forward to that and I hope they don’t fuck it up.

The route itself actually felt like it was mostly stuff that belongs in a fandisk, rather than an individual character route. All the group hangouts, and scenarios that reveal idiosyncrasies about the other characters (e.g. everyone’s drawings in the Fuu-san arc. I finally got to see Yuzuru-senpai’s kawaii creations! :3).

Senpai’s art totally unleashes his inner otome...

As expected, Rei failed to give me any doki-doki feels... except at the end, where we saw grown-up Rei and got to hear Iguchi Yuuichi’s normal voice for like 2 seconds. (I wish this game had a fandisk bc I *definitely* need more of that!!) From the other character routes I got the sense that he’s an iyashi-kei type of guy, and he’s probably the most consistent out of all of them, because he continues being selfless and caring about Sakuya before himself throughout - e.g. helping her to find her future path despite not having one himself. 

Still I gotta admit, when he confessed that he liked Sakuya, I did a silent fist-pump in the air, because FINALLY here’s a guy who said it first. I’m so tired of always having to make the first move >;(

Also the thing that Narumi said really touched me here: that Rei would rather choose a lonely existence as a spirit trapped between two worlds for the rest of eternity, than force Sakuya to let him go. Even when he was weakening, he never said anything to Sakuya. In a way he was perhaps the most adult-like one out of all of them. Admittedly I didn’t like Sakuya very much in this route. She seemed very self-absorbed and immature, refusing to face the truth. But eventually Narumi kind of slapped some sense into her (figuratively ofc, I mean Narumi would never actually slap her XD) and she did choose to do the right thing.

...I guess Narumi is determined to be the guy that has a crush on her and ‘saves her’ one way or another in every route. Kudos to him but he’s still only, like, my third or fourth favourite lols.

Lastly, I felt that this route was actually the most poetic + metaphorical one so far. (Maybe the other ones were, too, and I just wasn’t paying attention?) ...The metaphor of flowers bearing seeds that blossom into new flowers, bearing witness to their relationship and carrying on their legacy. When they first met the flowers were newly planted, and when they said goodbye they were just about to wither. 

Also Sakuya and Rei always met after class at sunset, the time between day and night - like the space between Life and Death. Idk mang but that’s, like, really beautiful or sumshit.

But this is the most poetic thing of them all~!

[6ad6ro]

um so… i woke up thinking of this old friend. she was like best friends w my bad ex? like i used to hang out w her like crazy. she was rly nice? mostly? tho she def had this issue where she didn’t rly know what she wanted in life. and let other ppls warped judgements of “how ppl should act” rub off on her.

like i remember times she would more or less call me a lazy piece of shit to my face. like it was somehow “understood”? but then i’d be like “why are u calling me that?” and she wouldn’t know. bc it wasn’t her actual opinion. she liked who i was. idk she was just rly confused. i think her brother was a cop. her dad was emotionally neglecting and like conservative or militant? i remember her always wanting to smoke pot but also saying “drugs are bad™”. she was someone who u could tell always wanted to be free but was held back by the opinions of the people around her.

especially her on again off again bf? i… didn’t like him. he wanted to grow up to be a politician. he only listened to classic rock. he looked and acted like a conservative wanabee eric foreman from that 70s show, but somehow even worse. he had her convinced that her dream was to be “a loving housewife”… it made me sick. i remember how he tried to convince her to stop hanging out w her best friend and me JUST bc she smoked pot. bc “she was an evil hippie and bad”. i mean tbh she SHOULD have stopped hanging out w my bad ex, but for completely dif reasons. like he was def that kinda guy. a selfish, immature, stubborn, self-righteous idiot. but he was the first guy to ever rly like her. and she had… self esteem issues. i remember how she would… was always waiting for him to decide to wanna go out w her. she seemed so lonely.

her and i were kinda friends separately from my bad ex (lets call her “A”). so one time i remember she ended up coming over to hang w me n watch rocky horror in my room? it was rly fun tbh!! we were having a great time! it was totally innocent! but i remember at one point she like… got weird. got up. and was like “im sorry i think i’m being a bad person i gotta go”. and left? i didn’t get it at the time? or rather… i think i denied it. she clearly liked me, wanted something to happen that night, and felt like a bad friend for having those thoughts. i never asked her about it but looking back it was p obvious. also A was a control freak n just a bad person… so i wouldn’t be surprised if she told L to stay away from me. even tho A was constantly cheating on me n using everyone around her etc. idk it was complicated.

i also remember another time before her and that guy that became her bf (lets call her “l” and him “m”)… i remember there was some small party at my house and for some horribly embarrassing reason my bad ex (we were still together then) convinced me to mess around w her under a blanket in same room as our other friends? we were all v v drunk. i guess it made others in room feel v lonely n so L and this other girl started like… both making out w the one other guy in the room? it was bizarre. that kind of stuff is fine in some circumstances? but this was rly unhealthy. i remember the guy felt bad and told the other girl he had to stop bc he had always rly liked L and wanted to see where things would go w her? other girl said she was fine w it (and knowing her persona it easily was?) and he ended up napping on floor w L. next day i think she woke up, completely regretted what happened, and ran back to M. it kinda sucked for guy bc he rly cared about her but she never even was willing to talk about what had happened. to her it was just a drunken mistake (i knew she kinda liked him back but obv she was scared).

even w all that stuff, L was a constant member of our hangout group for like… 7 or 8 years straight? idk! it was always rly fun w her! even if, looking back, A constantly was ruining all our fun w her insane bullshit. i have fond memories of 3am park hangouts n just roaming around talking n going on adventures… i’d never cheat on a partner. never have, never will. but i think i did have like… feelings for L that i always ignored? that part of her that… wanted freedom? from those weird family’s/bf’s/society’s ideals that she let chain her down? it was attractive. she was a nice person just doin her best.

anyways i remember around when A and i finally broke up for good (only a month after my dad died, if u wanna know how awful of a person A was). and she ended up taking me aside n warning me that A had been cheating on w me w another guy, but it’d gotten serious w him. and A of course was lying and stringing me along so she could get money n sex from me etc. A using me was p common. but L had had enough and “betrayed A” (did a v nice thing) and told me. i think that was… really what set in motion A and i being done for good. that helped wake me up about what a horrible person A was. and had always been. i’ll always be grateful to L for that. that must’ve been hard for her. and i think her and A’s like 10 year friendship died over that. which rly was a good thing like A was a terrible person.

anyways fast forward like 2? 3?? 4 years? L had gone off to a college out of state w her boyfriend M. she… followed him around. no judgement, but it prob wasn’t good for her. i was in an apartment in another city and me and A had been DONE™ for years. i was still def hurt from the 8+ years of abuse, but i was def over her at least. seeing other ppl regularly. it was def a weird time for me but… that’s another story.

L and i hadn’t rly talked in years. i just didn’t rly associate w ppl A still hung around. i never knew her and L had stopped being friends or i prob woulda kept up w L. i don’t think L and i cut off contact on purpose, but it was just one if those “things”. but L hit me up outta the blue. was like “ back in town do u wanna hang?” and we did! it was rly nice seeing her! we went out and about. idk. we started hanging for a bit. but she… idk she clearly rly enjoyed my company? but also… had those weird judgements. idk.

one time we were hanging and she was at my place and saw all the alcohol i had layin around and was like “hey uhhh can i have some?” and i was like “hehe okay i guess we can drink” and ordered a pizza and we just hung out.

idk but before we got drunk she finally told me why she was back. M, the guy she had followed to college, had done the gross, stereotypical dude thing of breaking up w her right after they both graduated. i got a vibe he had been cheating on her all throughout too. he rly was the type. and as we drank we talked about it. i felt so bad for her. she vented all night. and idk all i remember was we were both v drunk and i think i was… idk why my head was in her lap? but she was playing w my hair. and idk. we kissed. things happened. she seemed so happy w it! i was too. i even stupidly cracked a joke “i bet A would be rly pissed if she saw us rn” and we both laughed. i always regretted sayin it tho bc its not like i was doin it to get back at A.

but i remember we were in my bed making out bc i had accidentally gotten aggressive w her n slammed her into a wall n started kissing her? so hard her nose started bleeding? i felt awful but she LOOOVED it and idk we somehow wound up in bed. idk i kinda regret this. bc… i was having a hard time around then and… just sleeping w all my friends? it just became… clockwork. i would do what i thought my friends wanted me to do regardless of how i felt. i had become kinda a slut.

so i remember like… making out but then i started to escalate things? and i think fir a split second she sobered up and was like “wait lets cool this down a little”. and i was like “okay no prob” and we both tried to go for a walk n find a park? we walked hand in hand and she kept telling me how happy she was? like how… this was the kinda stuff M would never do with her? she was just smiling a lot. it was cute. but i was so drunk n still fairly new to area, so i took her in wrong direction from the park. we ended up giving up n just walking back.

we got back in and thats i think when she sobered up mostly but i wad still out of it? and she realised her dog hadn’t been fed. it was def a partial excuse but she rly loved that dog so i could tell it was REAL guilt. i felt bad bc i tried to take her hand n go back into my room bc i wanted her to stay n cuddle? i was just drunk. i wasn’t forceful, but i shoulda been like “oh that’s fine!” but tbh i was also a touch worried she was too drunk to drive. well anyways… she left.

later we did have a looong talk about it. like… she ended up going to try and get back with M again (i still will never know what she saw in him like he rly used her n treated her bad like even going so far as to ask her advice on dating other girls after they broke up). but idk i thought she was smart enough to end things w him, and could tell her and i had feelings, so i tried to stay a lil closer than friends? idk what i told her but it was along the lines of “we can stay friends but if things happen sometimes it’s okay w me”. i look back on it w embarrassment but i guess it wasn’t that bad a thing to say?

but rly it was mostly a drunken mistake. and she was scared. and wanted to cut it off. she couldn’t end things w M like she was still torally in love w him even tho he had abandoned her. tbh i know what that’s like. well anyways i remember a few hangouts later she just… bailed on me? in a rly mean way? i had gone to pick her up from her house (idk 30 min drive each way) and she just… totally stood me up. i was parked at her house like texting her wondering where she was? and she sent me a text like “sorry something came up”. and wouldn’t tell me what happened and i got annoyed and drove home.

i have a feeling now that like M had… shown back up in her life and she sorta… threw me away to run back to him? i mean i can’t take it too personally bc she woulda done that to ANYONE. i don’t remember what happened after that but we just stopped talking again. i saw later on fb that her and M had gotten engaged or married?? idek? idk if her and i are still fb friends or if one of us blocked the other or what? i don’t remember.

but idk. i hope she’s well. i hope M got WAYYY better. or she left him. or idk. i wouldn’t even know how to contact her. i’m almost afraid to. like bc i… could see her giving up on her dreams and just being that housewife to him. even if she was mildly content doing that, i know she’d never be happy. and it’s so unlikely that he’d have grown to be good to her. i just… hope she’s doing well and is okay and happy. idk why i woke up worrying about her. it’s been so long… i’m such a dif person now. idk. time is weird.

[finsaraan]

i just want you to know - this is the abridged version. i wrote something longer. and it was really prosey fancy and vaguely like an actual ficlet, but i felt like, there isn’t a chance in hell of anybody finishing this unless i file off at least a few paragraphs and fill it with the amusing use of casual language and luis-from-ant-man-style retellings to juxtaposition the setting and theme of the story being told

anyway @kohledtouch @championofstendarr @laelaloola (especially u u agreed to this and u didn’t even kno, this is a lesson in looking before u leap) y’all enabled this, gotta face the consequences of ur actions hit me up w/ how many paragraphs u got in before ur soul left ur body and idk what i’ll owe u but i’ll owe u something LMAO

Well he’s Titus Mede II’s son and his name is Alexandros and his mum is Olympias the emperor’s second wife and she married him when she was 17 bc her family wanted the power and she’s a descendant of a usurped Septim emperor from way yonder through the mists of time. So she has this baby boy, hooray, he’s adorable with his wavy blond hair and his odd eyes, one’s blue one’s green, and he spends his childhood frolicking barefoot through the White Gold Tower’s private gardens which it would realistically have as the home of the royal family, and chilling with the soldiers in the barracks, and the grooms in the stables, learning filthy language and all about war. His parents don’t get on because his mum doesn’t take shit lying down and doesn’t and never did love her husband, so if he’s remotely rude to her, which he can be because he’s just like that but also stressed all the time, she snaps right back and then he snaps back because he’s a proud man and not good at apologising and then it spirals out of control. 

One day in particular when Alexandros is four, it’s soon after the death of his older sister, who was the crown princess and very capable and absolutely doted on by the emperor who’s distraught about it still, he goes to his mum’s room late at night only for the emperor to come in soon after absolutely sloshed, immediately getting his kit off, and Olympias, hoping to make him go away and also shield her baby’s eyes, hides Alexandros and says ‘no we can’t do the do it’s that time of the month’ but he’s like ‘you said that a week ago you HAG’ but now that she has her baby she’s feeling very protective so she snaps right back more viciously than usual so they start a proper shouting match until Alexandros bursts out screaming SHE HATES YOU GO AWAY GO AWAY, only to be grabbed by a stunned and horrified and slightly embarrassed (bc hes naked) emperor and tossed quite violently from the room. He’s caught by the guard on duty who takes good care of him while he screams because honestly that was a pretty traumatic experience. Once he’s put to bed and then up the next morning he doesn’t remember it, but it does scar him psychologically. The marriage goes downhill quite badly from there, it was their worst argument yet, there were a lot of insults, Titus feels very attacked by his now-crown-prince son’s apparent hatred of him, Olympias is livid that he handled her baby so roughly - it all makes everyone bitter.

Now when Alexandros is seven his education has yet to start and he’s a bit too cosy with the common soldiery that man the Tower, as someone puts it ‘he speaks as if he was conceived against a barrack wall’. Also, he hasn’t had a lot of interaction with his father, who doesn’t have time for children really and is still kinda put off by That Incident and by the very guarded way his son looks at him when the boy’s brought up for inspection days that let Titus see how he’s doing. So Titus thinks, to get him away from his mother’s influence, because she’s probably turning the boy against him (tbf she is), he’ll send him off to Cloud Ruler Temple to be mentored by this Penitus Oculatus commander called Leonidas. Leonidas thinks Alexandros is a spoilt brat. He has the child doing a soldier’s training from dawn until dusk, feeds him two spare meals a day, gives him shitty blankets and makes him sleep outside if he’s been disobedient (and if it’s not gonna kill him), and while this does mean that Alexandros is really good at taking hardship when he’s older - his soldiers will love him because he’s known for refusing to take food, water, or shelter if there isn’t enough for every single man - it’s also frankly irresponsible on Leonidas’s part, because he chronically underfeeds a growing boy, and Alexandros ends up significantly shorter than average for the rest of his life.

Now he’s twelve and his training with Leonidas is done, so he’s back home. He sings at a court banquet and a grumpy Titus Mede - who thinks he sounds a lot like his mother when he sings and is REALLY put off by it - humiliates him in front of everyone by telling him it’s a stupid waste of time for a prince to learn an instrument. Alexandros runs away and blackmails a soldier he knows, who's travelling home to sort a blood feud, into taking Alexandros with him. There’s a battle between two tiny villages and Alexandros makes his first kill, takes the head home, and feels a lot better knowing he is officially A Man at twelve when his dad didn’t have HIS first kill until he was sixteen. Now Alexandros gets his own retinue, a bunch of generals’ sons around his age, and he meets HEPHAESTION. Hephaestion is a babe, they hit it off immediately, and it’s barely any time at all before they’re completely inseparable. They’re soulmates. The same day that they meet, Alexandros makes another lifelong friend - the stallion Bucephalus, who nearly tramples some people in a panic at a horse fair, but Alexandros realises it's been mistreated and gentles it until it lets him ride it, ooh ahh very dramatic and you bet your ass Hephaestion is swooning in the background.

Fifteen years old, Alexandros is sent off with his friends to study some real important shit like philosophy and morality with a former Psijic monk (who isn’t actually former he says that but actually he’s an active Psijic - they sent him to try and influence Alex to take a good and wholesome path) called Aristotle. Alexandros never gets the hang of magic but he likes medicine and learning about nature and discussing abstract topics. Supposedly, doing this all in some chateau out in buttfuck nowhere is so he doesn’t get distracted but once again, Titus wants to separate Alexandros and his mother. The only time Alexandros leaves is to be summoned to various battles or sieges around the provinces for experience and because he and his father get on quite well when they’re out on campaign, they think the same tactically and Alex does admire his father really, he just feels guilty because his mother’s a woman with drama and flare running through her blood (descended from Tiber Septim rememeber), and lets him know when she feels betrayed. It’s a very emotionally scarring situation, because he can’t please one parent without angering the other. But on campaign it’s ok. He flourishes, he’s clearly got the knack, and the soldiers really love him ‘cause he comes into the healers’ tents to talk to the wounded men and tell them how brave they were. He’s got an incredible memory for names and faces, he never forgets anyone he’s met, and it’s a big thing when you’re just some lowly soldier and the crown prince remembers you and says he saw you, first up the wall in that siege, terrific job mate. He really craves the adoration of his people, it’s so much simpler than the mess his family is in. Be nice, make an effort, the lads love you. No nonsense there.

Sixteen now, he’s left as regent (of the entire empire!) when the emperor goes off on a longer campaign, but has to embark on his own one when there’s an issue with a big load of Forsworn. He does insanely well. He’s sixteen. Sixteen! Half of the enemies he comes across can’t even take him seriously, until he slaughters them. You stop laughing pretty fast when Alexandros’s legion comes at you. More than that, he gets there from the Imperial City faster than the soldiers sent from actual Skyrim, and they show up half way through like ‘whu?’ but Alexandros ropes them in no-nonsense and as they incredulously ask the Imperial soldiers ‘how old is this guy?’ they’re just given a knowing look and told ‘wait ‘till you see him in action, then you’ll know’.

At seventeen (he’s up to a lot now) his mum is pestering him to start churning out bastards because he’s unusually celibate for his age and status. She’s feeling very insecure because she’s engaged in some political fights and frankly the only reason she’s alive is because she’s wife of the emperor and mother of the crown prince; if she looses that status, she’s a goner, and at the moment the only reason she’s still married to Titus is because if he divorces her he weakens Alexandros’s claim to the throne and that could be chaos if Titus were to unexpectedly perish. So a potential heir from Alexandros would strengthen her position, and also give her another baby, which she wants because she’s feeling very excluded from Alexandros’s life. Rather than inevitably fail to walk the tightrope between his parents, he’s taken to only speaking to them when summoned, and confiding in Hephaestion for everything instead. After Alexandros dodges a series of prostitutes sent by his mother to get him producing and maybe separate him from Hephaestion a little, he pretends he slept with one to get his mother off his back, and ends up, in the aftermath, getting jiggy with Hephaestion for the first time instead. They’re as madly in love as ever. All their friends can tell It’s Happened, and some bets are finally won.

Now shit goes terribly wrong, and it’s about to get convoluted - the emperor takes a fancy to the daughter of one of his generals, Attalos. If she becomes his mistress, and has his children, and Titus really takes a shine to her, her noble birth makes her a really strong candidate for marriage, PLUS, Attalos is rumoured to be a Thalmor informant. That would put Olympias and Alexandros in the doghouse and in serious danger, but take a big weight off Titus’s shoulders, because he no longer has a mortal enemy in his house and a son influenced by said mortal enemy. Alexandros just tries not to rock the boat. On the return from a state visit, father and son and entourage are hosted by Attalos at his villa on the road. Attalos gets drunk and alludes to the potential union, suggesting any children from it are better than a child of Olympias, and then he insults Olympias a lot, thinking he’s being subtle, but he’s not, because he’s completely smashed. Alex is pissed. When he calls Attalos the fuck out, Titus gets pissed at him and tells him to check himself. Alex calls out him next, telling him to stand up for his own heir, unless he’s a desperate old man who’ll lick Attalos’s feet he’s that thirsty for the man’s daughter, who is frankly much too young for his old ass - also, they all know the rumours, Attalos is a filthy Thalmor informant, so he’s probably trying to suck up to them as well.

(The retelling of this gets him a lot of points amongst Thalmor-haters and if you hear it retold in certain places the string of inventive insults that prefix ‘Thalmor’ is about as long as the entire rest of the story.)

Titus is pissed, as you would be, to the point of drawing his sword, maybe a bit extreme, but he trips and falls on his face. Alexandros utters the immortal line ‘look, men, who the people thought would cross the tyrants for them - and he falls crossing from couch to couch’. Alexandros then has to book it, taking Olympias to her relatives in High Rock, then disappearing himself into the Druadach Mountains. He pisses Titus off for a bit by making it seems like he might be gathering allies in the mountains to go to war, but eventually messengers get sent back and forth and after a lot of debate, a peace is agreed to, and Alex and Olympias are welcomed back to the Imperial City. Things are still hella tense. Hoping to fix this, Titus sends Alexandros into Skyrim to deal with this civil war business that’s popped up, planning on following along later because his health is real fucked up just then. He’s been in a lot of battles, he’s like swiss cheese at this point.

Now at this point if I’m feeling indulgent, this is the point at which Alexandros turns out to be the Last Dragonborn and has to deal with all that shit. Otherwise, he just shows up and does his Alexandros thing, which is kicking ass and actually trying really hard to come to a peace agreement. The emperor wants to crush the Stormcloak rebellion entirely, but if Alexandros were to get his way - you know, like if he were to suddenly and unexpectedly become emperor himself - his offered treaty to Ulfric would be a formal apology for the failure of his father to honour his title as protector of the realm and chosen of the Divines; an offer of total religious autonomy, total autonomy in the deciding of any High King or Queen; and a getout clause that lets Skyrim legally secede from the empire if the jarls together decide that the current emperor/empress is failing in his or her duty to protect the rights and well-being of the citizens of Skyrim, failing to honour the gods that put them on their throne, offending egregiously the cultural beliefs of the people of Skyrim, or proving themself unworthy of the respect and power of the Ruby Throne.

Alexandros is real fucking confident. And he enjoys the enormous ‘fuck you’ he’s sending to any future rulers that don’t live up to these standards, because even if the treaty focuses on Skyrim, is they were to pull that getout clause and secede, everyone would follow whether it applies to them or not.

Back in Cyrodiil, while Alexandros is either being Dragonborn or not, the emperor is making plans to divorce Olympias and marry Attalos’s daughter but with legislation that secures Alexandros’s position as heir, hoping it’ll placate him even though his mother’s just been slapped in the face essentially. And on top of that, there’s a member of the Elder Council called Pausanias Orestes - he and the emperor were bang-mates, once upon a time, but Pausanias got dumped for a younger, hotter bloke. Pissed, Pausanias calls the guy a lil’ bitch, and the guy goes and gets himself killed being extra in battle to prove that he’s not. His kin, upset, have their revenge on Pausanias in a very dark and disturbing way because they don’t want to kill him because he’s still on fairly good terms with the emperor. Pausanias entreats the emperor to get him justice. Titus makes Pausanias head of his bodyguard, which is a very big favour, but doesn’t punish them that abused Pausanias. Eventually, Pausanias becomes a member of the Elder Council. Now here’s the thing; who’s the man that did that to Pausanias? It’s general Attalos, father of the girl emperor Titus Mede wants to marry, the man that’s about to achieve a real big power boost just by getting his daughter to bang the emperor. Oh dear. And guess who was with the entourage that stayed at Attalos’s villa the night of the bust up that Alexandros ended up having to flee; who had to stay in the house of the man that had wronged him and never been punished for it? Pausanias. Alexandros noticed this incredible cruelty at the time and apologised to Pausanias for it. Pausanias likes Alexandros for that reason. So when someone comes to Pausanias and says; we want to assassinate the emperor, and Alexandros is in on it, will you go to Skyirm and hire the Dark Brotherhood? Pausanias says yes. The thing is, Alexandros isn’t in on it; he’s far too pious to ever consider killing his own father. But there are those that thing the Medes are getting a little out of hand and if they all happened to die then that would be very handy for certain point-eared control-freaks who have a violent need to be absolute cunts and are the Tamrielic equivalent of that person who comes into your inbox and nitpicks your TES lore knowledge in a very condescending way, especially over things that are honestly subjective.

[survivorkomnata]

Episode #5: "my wig is scalped. i am ascending, friends." - Jake

Just realised I forgot to confess about my winner pick yet. I have predicted correctly both the the times I have done this. Looks like this is the only thing I am good at in ORG's so why not keep the trend going. With that said, my winner pick for this season is Zac...wait nooo. I said I am done with playing nice. Gotta give myself a chance , so my winner pick is Karthik. GG

Okay so the swap continues to be great! Basically my relationship with Zach has improved a lot so hopefully he is down to work with me! And it would depend on what he wants if they wanna eliminate Jake or not, I personally don’t care lmao but I think that maybe keeping Jake might help me to have options with the original Kato aswell (who Idc about but as I said I can’t close that door) but anyways I really don’t wanna have to decide yet so I wanna win this challenge more than anything right now.

We going full crackhead

not much has changed. we are immune again, and so i'm final 12 (which is the common # for merge, but i anticipate otherwise this game). it's exciting because my main goal right now, bar winning/jury, is just single digits, and i think that's achievable.

on my current tribe, i think i trust karthik the most. i speak to him daily & we have fun conversations, and he likes to mock me which is really fun for me. tim i trust but we have been lacking conversation (though i believe that's due to inactivity opposed to us being weird). i already went through miguel & jake in my last confessional so i'm not going to regurgitate that. i love all 4 of these men so much.

i can't help but think i'm majorly fucking up with my physical side. i really carried in the puzzle immunity, which was a public immunity. this means that other tribes are going to notice me. on top of that, i was in a majority like i deadass could've lost and have been fine (afaik). i sent ally/liam to tribal in the minority (luckily they thrived) & i sent another og-takagi majority to tribal and i lost one. odd, but whatever. i'm just paranoid i think because my biggest thing is skewering others perceptions of me and i think i'm making it much harder by performing exceptional in most challenges.

i'm thriving tho. i lost my trail of thought but... king. love u all. i am talking to a friend about driving n life but there was something i wanted to fucking talk about im STRESESDDDDDD. idk. yeehaw.

oh i remembered - the exile decision. though this wasn't for the complete round, it was so stupid for tim to suggest 'jess' and 'stephen' or something. like???? sister???? either send alyssa so she lacks connection & they boot her or send someone else. idk. it made no sense to weaken the social game of one of our own, but maybe he's playing it odd. regardless, miguel and i spoke in pms about it and we were on the same page (and i made a mistake of saying ''hope they vote alyssa out'' or something similar, which isn't ever my game (to elaborate: i never directly say anything but rather insinuate because im ditzy n dmubb :p)). it was just annoying like maybe i'm overthinking it but ... bye.

im getting like 7th-10th i know it.

I’m ecstatic right now, my tribe won immunity and I have officially broken my Survivor ORG record. It’s also looking like an og Takagi is goi g home tonight which helps as going into merge I want as many og kato as possible. I’m a little wary of Stephen at this point but that’s the game of Survivor. Stephen is a strong player and while I like working with him, I think he needs to be voted out down the road because he is definitely a strong strategic player like me, maybe a stronger one. Right now I need to focus on getting back into the game as I definitely was limited for the past few challenges. It showed in this challenge as I helped my tribe win the challenge. The merge is coming soon and I’m hoping to make the merge and continue showing a new side of myself, like David did in Milennials vs Gen X. Doing this helped David excel in his game and it’s helping me excel in my season of Survivor. I’m pushing myself to see just how far I can go and see if maybe I can win this competition.

So glad we won, tribals are dumb. Would’ve liked to vote out Liam though. Still, can’t wait to be the only Stephen left in the game, Stephen Prime, Stephen Supreme.

It just feels like a repeat of my previous ORG where I make the merge without ever going to tribal council and get voted out soon after. I am not so sure if this is a good thing for me. Its getting a bit boring. I want to play the game, be part of strategy talks, organize a blindside. get blindsided etc etc. These are the fun parts of the game imo and I feel these are about to happen as I am expecting the merge soon.  Hope I do not flop like my last game and last for a longer while this time around. Zach seems to like Miguel and Miguel has been feeding a lot of info to Zach. Probably they know each other from the past or something but either way they appear to be close. Zach had been planting seeds in my mind, saying more than once that Miguel seems to be cool and loyal whereas Jake is sketchy. I personally seem to connect better with Jake and feel like he is a better person to work with for me personally. He is a strong competitor and even if he doesnt happen to be the loyal kind of player, he is more of a threat and its likely that he would be targeted later in the game which are the kind of players I need around whereas I find Miguel to be a less threatening player who could slip under the radar and steal your spot at the end. I believe there would have been a push for Jake to go if we had lost but glad that didn't happen coz I do not wish to create any waves yet and cannot afford to go against King Zach's words. Fun fact - Zach has added me in 4 alliances within the past 2 days but none of those are with people in the game :)

Daniel leaving at the last vote has been a big blow to my game, but it wasn't the worst-case scenario. With me and Jess still in I still have my most trusted ally on the tribe. I questioned Alyssa about having the idol since apparently I do that to all of my allies now, but she said she didn't have it. She brought up the possibility that there was only one Hallway idol available for everyone, and while I'm not sure I totally believe that explanation she did admit that she has reached 100.

We came up with a plan last night, where she convinces Isaac that the plan is to flip me and vote Jess out. Assuming Alyssa is loyal to the plan and Isaac buys it, I shouldn't be getting any votes tonight. I'll tell Jess everything when she gets back and hopefully this vote will be 3-1. But even if Alyssa is lying to me, there's a chance Jess might find something in the basement. And if she does, well.... I'll be trying to use it to "both" of our benefits ;)

So woahhhh that double tribal huh!! I did not see either vote out happening. TJ went out on a unanimous vote and Ratboi played an idol into a split vote!!! I wonder what TJ did or failed to do in order to get voted out. Did his enemies end up on the tribe with him? And what about Ratboi. When did he get an idol? Was this from Kato or the basement?? Who split the vote in the first place? I have many questions and not too many answers as of now.

Ok so here is what I concluded so far. TJ, Jake, Alyssa, and Stephen W (The Australian) are one side of the old Kato and the other side was Miguel, Fredrico, Isaac, and Luke.

TJ ended up with Luke in the swap but Stephen W on his side so I am confusion??? Ally and Liam were there as well so idk.

So we win the challenge and I am PUMPED. Our tribe managed to work together and draft some potential questions as well as help one another out during the challenge. I managed to get a score of 7 which is dope!! Oh and our tribe also finished in first place meaning we got to send someone from the losing tribe into the basement.

The losing tribe was Atila 2.0 which consisted of Jess, Alyssa, Isaac, and Stephen Z. Now I initially thought the person going into the basement was immune so I suggested Alyssa because I know that she is aligned with Jake and I wanted to try and work with them at merge potentially. However, once I discovered that the basementee would return I switched up and supported Jake in wanting to send Jess. This was great for me because Jess is my ally and I didnt immediately suggest her so that sheds some weight off my shoulders. But umm I was also kinda rude and I stiff armed Miguel from trying to send Isaac back there. I know that they are aligned so I could not allow that to happen. I made the decision for the tribe and @'d Anna to let her know that the tribe (Aka me....) had decided on Jess. Now this could hurt my game because this could make me seem like I am hard to work with or not willing to compromise but only Miguel would think so and he's one of my targets so lol.

Hopefully at Attila's tribal Isaac goes home and the merge happens so I can slay it.

What isn't going on? That is the real question...

Let's take it back to BEFORE Daniel's departure.

Prior to the vote ( literally 20 minutes before) I went on call with Alyssa and I can't tell if I'm just sipping Paranoid Bitch Juice™ or not.... BUT the first thing she asks me is if I have the idol. I was thrown off because.. 1) Why are you asking me this BEFORE A VOTE...AM I BEING VOTED OFF?. 2) Why do you have a SMILE on your face while asking me this. Anyways.. I've come to the conclusion that she may have an idol and isn't telling me because I want to kill her in this game. The purpose of this call was to warn her that I was actually voting out Isaac so she wouldn't be blindsided. I was trying to sugar coat it. Telling her I was conflicted and that Isaac may or may not have an idol but then the Google Hangouts link was sent and I didn't have enough time to tell her. After this Chaos and Daniel going I was hella shook. Alyssa seemed pissed at me and at that point I had no regrets. An idol was flushed and someone who would potentially come after me was gone. It was a major win/win situation for me personally. Then TJ going on the other tribe.. someone who potentially would have came for me... also: another freaking win.

THEN my night gets turned upside down and I'm summoned to the basement. I can't tell if the other tribe sent me there so I could find something and they LOVE ME or because they wanted to MURDER me in this game. It's still up in the air tbh. Being away from my tribe for a long period of time was scary. I'm kind of just hoping my relationship with both Stephen and Alyssa are solid and we can bo$$ this game up. However, am I afraid of Isaac possibly finding two idols in the basement? yes? do I want to be a paranoid bitch once again in a game? no? am I dying on the inside and thinking it could be me tonight? yes? am I going to drink wine before tribal? basically.

My game plan is simple. I'm going to be straight up with Alyssa and say I'm NOT doing Stephen. She either will vote out Stephen and we tie and we can go to rocks. 50/50 odds. Or she can keep Stephen. That's it. If an idol is played and I'm who they vote out.. I'll probably cry.

I refuse to even look ahead to after this tribal because I'm sort of extremely uncertain.

Fuck this week, man. I'm so glad that Ally and I went from a minority to a tie at the best, but I'm just not super confident in much right now. Hopefully we just keep winning.

hi i literally don’t have anything to say because nothing has changed since last round

i’m rly glad tj left i liked him but i liked everyone else more... and he VOTED me i’m glad daniel left in the tie on the other tribe cos we never spoke and i’m close to stephen z it’ll be interesting to see how their tribal goes this time with 2-2 tribal lines. i’m excited. i love jess and stephen so i’m rly hoping nothing happens to them that’s p much it. i got nothin. sry.

Sisters this might be the end of the road for me. I hope it’s not because I’m having a blast but this 2-2 fuckshit is annoying. If I go I have a successful idol play to my name and a few iconic one liners, see y’all in All-Stars. Rotten Luck.

Isaac is voted out in a 3-1 vote.

[isaiahmax-blog]

☠

 O N E.

isaiah turned the corner, to find the guys who had given naomi a hard time- at a god damn halloween party. maybe his anger is already a little bit spiked, because of that. he’s already a little annoyed, because of how shitty people can be, and because elijah is drunkenly stumbling all over the place. isaiah is stuck on dad duty, and honestly... he isn’t feeling this party as a whole. so of course, that’s when he turns the corner, pushing past a few bodies that are dancing, only to see... ashley. isaiah’s mouth turns up, into a smile, his mouth opening to call out to her. he can see she’s talking to someone, and smiling at them. that special ashley cohen smile. and that’s what gives him pause. isaiah stumbles slightly, closing his mouth, just as more of the crowd clears, and he sees who ashley is smiling at like that. julian. there’s a roar within isaiah’s head, suddenly, as he hears nothing but his own blood, rushing. they’re just talking. calm down, isaiah instructs himself. he doesn’t move from the spot though, not even as others bump into him. he can’t tear his eyes away from the way they’re leaning into each other, and laughing. and then... isaiah feels something within him DROP to the floor, right to his feet, because ashley is moving forward and kissing julian, hard. isaiah feels a bit like a pervert for watching, but he’s so surprised, and shell shocked, that he can’t move. ashley kissing julian is bad, but julian kissing ashley back suddenly, with a great gusto... that’s what makes isaiah feel his breath catch in his throat. the pair are kissing, and kissing. and it feels like the longest kiss in the world. 

“ISAIAH! MY MAN!” one of the lacrosse players slaps isaiah on the back suddenly, pulling isaiah out of his reverie. his eyes pull away from the sight of two of his best friends kissing, only to glare at the player, who recoils slightly. “yo, man. your cup’s broken.” the player points out, slightly hesitantly. isaiah looks down, to where he’s spilled the whole glass of alcohol. isaiah hadn’t even really noticed, but as he glances down, he realises his hands have clenched into fists, turning his knuckles a stark white. isaiah breathes out, sharply, and ignores the player, only to look up and see ashley leading julian away, and into a bedroom. isaiah sees red, yet again, because he KNOWS what that means, and he god damn hates it. in that moment, he hates julian vega.

T W O .

the knocking on isaiah’s door is so persistent, and he can hear julian making a stupid frozen joke. isaiah is angry at the world. he’s angry at being arrested, he’s angry at himself for hiding out. he’s angry for being kicked off the lacrosse team. he’s angry because gina is dead. he’s angry because he saw julian and ashley kissing, then walk into another private room. he’s so pissed off, and now julian is here- as if trying to piss him off even more. go away, isaiah fights to urge to snap it out. his hands curl into fists again, his breathing deepens. just the thought of seeing julian with his stupid smile, and knowing that those lips kissed ashley ... that’s enough to make isaiah want to open the door, just to punch him, right across that mouth, over and over. he inhales, then exhales. isaiah knows his anger is sorely misplaced. he’s upset with julian, sure, but as a whole- he doesn’t want to punch him. he just wants to hit SOMETHING, because he feels so supremely pissed off with the world. and julian just so happens to be there. but no. instead... isaiah swallows hard. he swallows that anger. and he keeps the door closed between them.

T H R E E.

normally, isaiah would never step into a starbucks. he doesn’t drink coffee, and he doesn’t like going to places where he knows he’ll be recognised, especially of late. ( since his arrest. ) but, he wanted to get damaris one of those silly pumpkin spice latte’s people seemed to like so much, just to say thank you for her putting up with him, and being such a good friend, and even better house mate. she’d supported him, silently, when she had been going through her own stuff too. isaiah truly didn’t deserve her. as he pushes open the door to the busy cafe, he steps into the line immediately. it’s moving slowly, but isaiah truly doesn’t mind waiting. he’s feeling a lot better these days, if he’s being honest. he misses lacrosse a lot, sure, but... at least it feels nice to know people are fighting to get him back on the team, and fighting to show the press and media that he’s not some murderous maniac. nobody seems to believe the police, and for that isaiah just feels relieved. the mark will always be on his record, but at least people aren’t treating him that differently.

isaiah pulls out his phone, thinking briefly back to ashley, as always. he considers texting her, just to see how she’s going. it’s his mind that plays tricks on him, he’s sure of it- because he’s certain he can hear ashley’s laugh from one of the occupied tables. isaiah unlocks his phone, just as he hears her laugh, and then her VOICE. he could tell his voice from a mile away. it’s really her. as the line moves once again, isaiah slides his phone into his pocket, and glances around, a smile sneaking onto his face at the idea of surprising ashley here. he’s just glad to hear her laughing, and being herself again. 

“you’ve gotta be kidding me.” isaiah can’t stop the words from falling from his mouth, as his eyes find ashley’s dirty blonde head, sitting with... julian. again. laughing. the two are leaning in over a table together, speaking. and... it’s like they’re in their own little world. like it’s just them two. isaiah’s heart plummets, and the smile on his face is quickly wiped. right. of course she’d be with julian. of course she’d be laughing and talking with him. julian was an awesome guy. isaiah would testify that anywhere, and to anyone, but right now... that fact just pisses him off. he doesn’t need a reminder that julian is smarter, and overall just good to get along with. especially not from ashley. the pair haven’t even noticed isaiah, and why would they? his breathing comes out slightly shallowly, as he pulls his eyes away. he feels such a tight pressure in his chest, once again. not just sad...but annoyed at how public they’re being with each other. he doesn’t know why, but it’s just... the Worst. “NEXT PLEASE!” the starbucks barista glares at isaiah, as he realises he’s been holding up the line. “oh.” he swallows, uncurling his hands he hadn’t even realised had turned into fists. “shit. sorry.” 

F O U R.

“-but up until... you know...” the lacrosse team goes slightly quiet, sombre, at the unspoken mention of gina. isaiah keeps his head down, even though it’s him that the team is surrounding themselves around. he’s glad for their company, but isaiah really doesn’t want to think about that party. or that night. mike nudges cassidy, obviously to tell him to change the subject. isaiah shoots mike a grateful glance, and the energy picks up in the group once again.

“but yo, man, let me tell you. mike got totally WRECKED at beer pong.” cassidy and the rest of the guys are laughing, and it’s just such a common feeling that isaiah can’t help bark out a small laugh too, his mouth upturning. cassidy must find that encouraging, because he continues. “and what else? oh yeah, art was on the banned list, so he didn’t even get an invite to the party.” that DOES brighten isaiah’s mood, as he grins, remembering how good it had felt to finally kick art off the team. he’s glad the other team mates agree. “OH! and man, julian vega and ashley cohen? i heard they totally did it in the parents room. they were in there for a little.” cassidy is grinning, as if sharing the juiciest, best news in the world- but all it does is making isaiah’s smle vanish. “i heard that they’ve been sneaking off in between classes too, man!” isaiah feels a sickening lurch in his stomach at the idea. his mind goes back again, to the memory of ashley and julian at the starbucks, just a few days ago. he doesn’t know if cassidy is telling the truth, because there’s always a LOT of hearsay with ashley, which isaiah tries his best to ignore, or tell the guys to not participate in. “who knew? julian vega. getting his dick wet in ashley cohen.” cassidy shakes his head, as if in awe, only a few of the other guys chuckle, although there’s definitely a tension now. all eyes seem to be on isaiah. isaiah’s mind reels back to the idea of julian, playing the role of doting friend, then hooking up with ashley behind his back. it doesn’t seem like a julian-thing to do, but isaiah’s mind can’t stop itself from thinking it. isaiah slams his textbook closed, a bit too hard. silence falls over the group. 

“yo, isaiah... you uh, want us to have a word with vega?” mike asks. isaiah almost wants to laugh, because it feels like they’re in a MOB MEETING almost, and they’re asking for isaiah’s permission to take julian out. he briefly does consider it though... but really, in the end, he knows he couldn’t do that to julian. or ashley. they’re his friends. no matter what.

F I V E .

“- man, when are you going to believe us, huh?” julian is jogging to keep up with isaiah, who resolutely stares ahead, still ignoring him. “we kissed! we were drunk! it was a mistake! everyone knows you and ashley are basically in love with each other!” julian’s insistent, and isaiah wants to believe it. he really does, because he misses having julian as a friend, and he hates having to ignore anyone. julian gives up on jogging after isaiah, staying put on the spot now, as isaiah continues walking. it seems, finally, julian is fed up. “i can’t believe how immature and petty you’re acting!” he calls out, and that’s what causes isaiah to swing around, so suddenly.

“alright, man, if it was nothing then why were you and ashley sitting together at a table in starbucks, practically swapping spit, a week ago?” it’s an exaggeration, but isaiah is HEATED. julian blinks, in surprise, and then... he LAUGHS. isaiah’s temper rises, his hands curling into fists. “what- that’s funny? it this all a joke to you? tell me this shit to my face then act completely differently behind my back? i don’t care if you’re into ashley.” a lie. “but don’t fucking lie to my face. if you’re meant to be a friend, then you don’t insist we like each other, and then go kiss her and go on cute little dates with her. leave me the fuck outta it, alright?” isaiah’s voice is getting harder, more snappy, with each word. julian’s still smiling, as if in disbelief, and he shakes his head at isaiah, as if thinking ‘poor, stupid isaiah maxwell’. isaiah’s head swirls with his own fury, and his hands curl into fists, tightly, by his side. “stop fucking LOOKING at me like that, you asshole.” isaiah’s words are harsh, harsher then they’ve probably ever been in his life. julian looks surprised, for a moment, just as isaiah turns to walk away.

“WAIT-” a hand goes to isaiah’s bicep, and isaiah just... s n a p s. as he spins around, his fist is raised, and sinks right into julian’s face, just as he’s briefly imagined doing. only this time it’s real. it connects with julian’s cheek, hard, staggering the other boy back, and as soon as it happens- isaiah knows he’s fucked up. the anger all leaves him at once, and his eyes are wide open, in shock at his own actions. he punched julian. he punched his friend.

“oh fuck. fuck. fuck.” he breathes out, already taking steps closer, in alarm. “i’m sorry. shit. julian, fuck. i’m- i’m so sorry.” isaiah’s hands go to his hair, as if about to pull it out. “i shouldn’t have done that, i-  wasn’t thinking. are you alright? let me take you to the nurse. please. oh god, i’m sorry.”