#but tumblr is f*ing things up

[highvern]

Patterns III

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

Pairing: Jeon Wonwoo x fem!reader

Genre: smut (18+), eventual fluff/angst

Summary: Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is a pattern. So what does it mean when you find yourself in Wonwoo's bed over and over again?

Chapter Warnings: oral (f. & m. receiving), protected sex, kissing, awkward wonwoo, jealousy, grinding/dry humping, making out, fingering (in public)

Length: 8.5k

Note: part 3 is here and now we will yearn. you can find most of the pieces i reference HERE and some are printable! thank you to everyone in @svthub for helping and @gyuswhore beta-ing

Remember: Tumblr runs on reblogs and I run on validation in the tags and comments :)

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This blog is intended for 18+ only! Minors/blank blogs will be blocked!

Wonwoo recognizes the heat of a body blanketing his before anything else. Slowly, like sands sifting through an hourglass, he wakes. Your chest sticks to his from the heat of the morning, skin on skin. Feeling comes back to his hands as they ghost along your bare spine, following the curve of your ribs, down to the soft spot above your hips and back again.

The second thing he realizes is your lips ghosting his neck.

“Morning,” he croaks through a yawn.

You hum in response, nosing along his jaw. Eyes still shut, he can see the shadow when you rise and leave the next kiss on his lips. The same rush of arousal that haunted him last night lingers. But at least this time he’s awake enough to appreciate your efforts. 

After dedicating all his energy to pleasing you, Wonwoo nearly screamed when you palmed his cock. Too tired to fuck a pretty girl? Pathetic. But with swallowed pride, he brushed away your ardent hands, and passed out before you demanded any answers.

It was the fastest he’d fallen asleep in weeks. 

Now, you seem to be making up for the lost opportunity and Wonwoo is just as eager to enjoy. 

Hands trailing the dip of your back, his mouth opens when you prod across the seam of his lips. Everything slides together easily; your leg thrown over his hip finds the mattress and the heat against the crotch of his sweatpants calls like a siren’s song. The first nudge into the seat of your ass sends dual sighs into the air. 

Wonwoo fills his palms with the swells of your ass, dragging you across his clothed length again and again until your arousal soaks through his pants. Eyes still shut, he savors the grind, slowing you with firm hands until you protest with a huff.

You indulge him as best you can. Idle touches across his chest turn the edges of Wonwoo’s mind hazy, melting his resolve until your mouthing down his neck, then his chest, and finally his caved stomach. 

The first glimpse of your visage is proof he’s still lost in the land of dreams. All Wonwoo can see is endless skin, still bare from last night. The blur without his glass does little to dim your glow. Trails of golden light peeking through the window cast a halo around your shoulders like something ethereal; as if the sunrise itself sat itself in his lap this morning and decided to greet him personally. 

But the way you suck him through the fabric of his underwear  is akin to the devil.

“Fuck,” Wonwoo gasps. His hips curl up, searching for more relief. You don’t give in easily. Instead, you favor mouthing along the outline of his bulge until you’re back at the patch of skin sitting about the waistband.

Just as he falls into the comfort of your mouth, you move it elsewhere; lips tapering over the crescent of his hip bone while your hands make quick work of the single layer confine. Each new swath of skin is documented with fingers first then your mouth. It's slow work given the position but Wonwoo lifts his hips and assists until he’s bare and moaning your name on the first touch against his length.

Even in the coolness of the morning he’s burning. Wonwoo wants. Whatever you want, he wants too. Anything you give him he’ll take. The hunger for more worsens with each tease wherever you can reach. 

His first mistake is touching you. Hair tickling his fingertips as he cups your jaw, thumb tracing the dip of your cheek as you suck him deeper. The gentle hum from the contact vibrating through his already weak willpower.

The second mistake is peeping where you lay between his legs when you come up for a breath only to find you already looking his way. 

“Good?”

Wonwoo responds with a mute nod, trembling when you smile before taking his cock back in your mouth.

Your tongue flicks against his cockhead slowly. Content to focus the heat of your mouth there, a hand sneaks to jerk off what you’re neglecting. 

A quick buck of his hips, completely unintentional, forces you to sputter.

Wonwoo scrambles to apologize, “Shit, sorry! I didn’t—oh fuck.”

The words die on his lips as you dive back in, swallowing him down the tight heat of your throat and leaving him there before pulling away with a gasp. His head digs into the pillow as you descend, taking more; Again and again and again until your nose brushes the smooth skin of his pelvis and you choke from another involuntary buck.

Eyes weighted, Wonwoo fights between wanting to watch the bob of your head and the instinct to pinch his eyes tight and feel. Your own choked hums are the siren song that pluck him apart until a hand stops your progress.

Grabbing himself on the next upstroke to prevent more torture, Wonwoo uses all his will to speak. “Wait.”

“Wait?” you huff.

Your tongue sneaks across the tip of his cock, lapping at the leaking slit with determination. Sticky on the next stroke, Wonwoo fucks himself into your mouth involuntarily. 

“Come up here.”

“Don’t wanna,” you complain around a mouth full of dick before he can stop you.

Wonwoo pulls you off again, this time with a firmer hand and a glare he hopes silences your objections. Then, with the most pathetic sincerity he can muster, “Please?”

“Are you begging?” you goad. “Or asking?”

He doesn’t have the bandwidth for games right now. There’s a serious risk he’ll come in your mouth if you keep it up. The urge too lives in the back of his mind, haunting him since the first night you begged him to fuck your throat. But right now, after a night of denying himself the simple pleasure of burying his cock inside you, he needs more.

“Whichever will let me fuck you.”

“Say it again.”

Wonwoo chokes at the first attempt to satisfy your request. You're nasty. Licking at his cock again, undeterred by his hand preventing your greed from fully consuming him. But it’s not enough to stop you. You slip your tongue over the valleys of his knuckles, between his fingers. The wet heat of your mouth surrounds his thumb as you lash against it just to get another taste.

“What was that?” you whisper into his thigh, focusing your attention on his hip, nipping until he’s sure there will be a bruise in the shape of your mouth.

“Please let me fuck you.”

You fall to the side, scrambling for the bedside table for what he assumes is a condom. All of your back, your ass and thighs, left on display and Wonwoo takes advantage. Fingers following your curves, squeeze the supple swell of your rear until your breath stutters and your hips arch. He doesn’t stop there. Lips find your shoulder, trailing up until he can nip at your ear and his hand curves around between your thighs.

Fingers slipping through the mess, your head falls lip while Wonwoo repays your early morning favor. A ghost across your clit that sends you rocking back into his cock. “God,” you whimper as the heel of Wonwoo’s palm grinds harder. “Wonwoo.”

The sound of his name rasped on your tongue makes him hot. Wonwoo could finger you like this for the rest of morning if you let him; teeth bruising your neck, cock sandwiched between your ass and his stomach, the subtle friction enough for him to cum if he didn’t need you so badly.

But you won’t have it.

You push off his grip, turning until you’re face to face for another kiss that's too dirty for the early hour; generous with affection like you’ve got all morning to cover him in it. It’s the perfect distraction as you roll the latex down his length, and plant yourself in his lap.

It’s deep. Deep enough he feels the punch in his own gut as he splits you in half. You focus on his neck after a grunt breaks the kiss, overloading his senses. A few experimental swivels of your hips force his own to rise, keeping himself as deep as possible.

Riled from your mouth, Wonwoo is already on the precipice of finishing. Even through the condom he can feel the delicious heat of your walls clamped on his cock. The trickle of your pleased sighs into his ears don’t help either.

“Fuck, fuck, shit,” Wonwoo bites.

He tries to swallow back the rush of want, focusing on getting you caught up to where he clings so desperately to sanity. Gripping your waist, hands rough enough he’ll apologize later, Wonwoo uses the leverage to fuck roughly. One hand focuses a messy rhythm across your clit. 

But it's no use. Thighs rushing up, Wonwoo’s end hits before he can warn you. You scramble for purchase from the rough jerking threatening to dislodge you and in the chaos you end up pinned to his chest as he cums.

All you can do is blink. Wonwoo stares back, hair matted to his forehead, pinked skin peeking through the sweaty locks, eyes rounded with his own shock. 

“Well,” you pant, rolling to the side. “That's flattering.” 

The stickiness between your thighs still burns hot; unfulfilled by such a quick ending. But he’s earned it after last night. Goosebumps flicker across your body from the cool air as you stare at the ceiling and clear the morning fog from your brain.

“Sorry, I’ve nev—”

You swat at his side. “It’s okay. Promise.”

Wonwoo’s quick enough to snatch it, fingers intertwining and preventing you from poking him in the ribs again. Laying side by side, shoulder to shoulder, your eyes slip shut. You pretend to ignore the way he moves over you, flattening his body atop yours. 

A kiss on your collarbone, another between your breasts. His mouth trails to your nipple, sucking until you squirm before moving to give the other one the same treatment of teeth and tongue. It barely eclipses the feeling of his thumb searching between your thighs.

He descends lower when you start shaking. Lips blazing across your stomach and hips, lazy like there’s all the time in the world. Nerves short circuiting, you arching everything he has to offer; until his mouth replaces the hand between your thighs. 

It’s slower than last night. Wonwoo savors the taste of you, tracing all the parts that make your vision blur with shocking ease. You encourage him to focus in the right spots with a hand knotted in the base of his hair, thighs crushing to the sides of his face when he delivers exactly what you need.

A wiggle of his tongue on your clit distracts from the fingers sinking inside; one before he adds a second. Not as satisfying as his cock but the bend and curl with the right rhythm for your hips to buck.

He isn’t goading or punishing. None of the usual quips that accompany him between your legs spill from his mouth. When you grind up into his face he flattens his tongue and lets you; when you tell him to give you more he does, a third finger joins the mix as he sucks your clit until you cry.

“Just like that, fuck I—” you choke. “Wonwoo, please, don’t stop.” You hump his face, feet planted on the bed for more power as you pull tight across his mouth. 

A last rough curl of his fingers across your walls breaks the dam. Eyes rolling back, you savor the feel of him bullying your insides until everything explodes in flashes of white. Wonwoo does right and keeps playing with you until pushed away but not before sneaking a last lick to your bundle of nerves just to watch you shake.

Wonwoo rises with a cocky smirk before dropping back into your chest. He nuzzles down into the cradle of your throat, face still wet but you don’t have half the mind to complain. You don’t have any mind at all from the wet kisses he paints into your skin.

Sleep comes easily; carried by the lull of calming breaths and the waves still flooding your system.

The second time you wake up, Wonwoo is still asleep across the bed. It makes slipping away to the bathroom for clean up easier, but your eyes continue to glance at him as you move across the room for a fresh set of clothes. His back faces you so only the mangle of hair at the crown of his skull and the broad expanse of shoulders are exposed. The memory of the morning after your first hook up plays in your mind. Embarrassment, anxiety, the rush to be anywhere but his bed. 

Now it’s the lazy weight of an early orgasm and a good night’s sleep. If the afternoon wasn’t booked, you’d be sorely tempted to lay back down and sleep the day away next to him.

A fast shower wakes you enough that fatigue can’t seduce you back beneath the sheets. The first time in weeks you aren’t plagued by racing thoughts, mind blissfully empty as you wash away the remnants of a satisfying morning. You leave the bathroom dressed and prepared for the mess waiting in the rest of the apartment. 

Fishing your phone out of the trail of discarded clothes from the night, you see a litany of messages waiting to greet you. But only one catches your attention. 

Em: tickets for the new exhibit are at willcall! I got an extra in case lisa wanted to come

Wonwoo’s voice makes you jump. “Big plans for today?” 

You watch him wince out of the corner of your eye as he rounds the corner of the hallway, dressed in the new pair of sweats you left on the corner of the bed before leaving, chest still bare.His hair is more of a mess than what you left him with, and he bounces from one foot to the other. Good to know you’re not the only one out of their depth. 

Rather than stand idle, you race to keep your hands busy in an effort to fend off the awkwardness. 

“Ugh, yeah.” You pop bread into the toaster. Two slices, just in case. “My friend got me tickets to this new exhibit at the museum downtown.” 

He moves for his phone on the couch scrolling through messages from the evening. “Oh, cool.” 

You hum agreement into your coffee cup. 

The silence of the kitchen is stifling. Not ten minutes ago you curled up in bed with him but without the guise of sex there doesn’t seem to be anything tying you together. The pop of the toaster almost sends your coffee cup flying.

“It's, um, a really cool exhibit. She’s been curating it for the past two years.” You say while putting together a sham of breakfast. “It’s the first exhibit they’ve let her do solo.”

“Impressive.”

“Yeah.” You wince. “I’m gonna get dressed so…”

“Yeah.”

Mirroring last night, you shuffle to the reprieve of your bedroom. Locked in, the crumpled sheets of your bed pointedly stare at you; the scene of the crime. If you look too closely there's traces of the dip in the mattress where you both fell together. 

But you won’t look because the suffocating tension in your chest is bad enough without reliving the past hour. From tangled in a lover's embrace to the inability to look each other in the eye. 

You dress quickly. Warm enough to fight off the rain beginning peppering against your window and the winds that will no doubt come with it. In the mirror you still look fucked. The unmistakable glow of a morning on the right side of the bed; puffy lips, warm cheeks, and eyes glassy no matter how much you blink. There’s nothing to be done about that though so you grab your bag and return to the living room to deal with your guest.

The back of Wonwoo’s head sits over the couch. Slumped back like he’s given up in his fight against bad luck and ready to accept whatever fate the universe bestows.

“All good?” you ask, grabbing the now cooled mug. 

A hand scrubs down his face, “Landlord can’t come until this evening.”

“Oh.”

“It’s fine, I’ll just go hangout at some coffee shop or whatever.”

He looks pathetic. Like last night in the hallway soaked to the bone. Unfortunately, you’ve got a soft spot for pathetic things with glasses and broad shoulders.

The words are in the air before you can bite them back. “You can come with me if you want.” 

New tension fills the space. It curls around Wonwoo’s shoulders, slipping into that place in your stomach that’s suffered all morning. He turns slowly, failing to hide the shock that finds its way in the corner of his mouth.

Staring at one another, both surprised at the offer hanging in the air, it’s Wonwoo who speaks first.

“I don’t really have clothes for a museum.”

A true enough excuse. His clothes still sit in the washer from last night and the collection of wrinkled shirts and sweats sitting in the closet will get you killed; or worse, laughed at. There’s only one person who might have clothes in the apartment that would make the cut. 

“Mingyu might have some clothes here. But if you’d rather not, that's fine.”

“Uh,” Wonwoo blinks. “Then sure, I’ll go.”

Abandoning the cup on the counter, you journey down the hall. Beyond the door to your room, then Amina’s and finally the last one. You step into Lisa’s room and dial her number. She picks up the call on the second ring.

“Helloooo?” She sings. Ears straining, you can hear Mingyu’s mumbling somewhere in the background.

You wade closer to the dresser on the far wall before responding. “Hey, does Mingyu have clothes here?”

After years of living together and sharing clothes, you know the first few drawers house nothing you wish to see. But rather than spend hours digging through the massive collection she’s amassed, you wait for an answer as you slide open one of the safer ones.

“Why? Are you planning to go as him for Halloween?”

Wedging the devices between your shoulder and cheek, you move to the next drawer containing more Lisa sized clothes and less Mingyu sized ones. 

“Um, Wonwoo-is-here-and-needs-clothes.”

“I’m sorry, what?” Lisa pauses before screaming. “He’s there?” The volume makes you wince, dropping your phone as she continues to babble like a lunatic on the other side. 

“What did you do? Rip his clothes off? I knew you were a little minx.” She hums.

“I didn’t—” you sputter. “He got locked out last night and stayed here. Did Mingyu check his phone?”

“He dropped his phone in the lake yesterday and it isn’t working. So you and Wonwoo didn’t have sex?”

Choking on the directness, you change the subject. “Anyway! Does Mingyu have clothes he can borrow or not?”

“You did! Was it on the couch? The kitchen?”

“We’re not freaks like you and your boyfriend”

“Oh so there's a ‘we’ now?” Lisa asks like a shark smelling blood. 

“I hate you.”

“No you don’t,” she sings. “Mingyu’s clothes are in the bottom drawer.”

Shutting the current drawer and dropping on your knees, you mumble. “Thank you.”

“Have fun on your date!”

“Drown.”

“Love you too.”

The line goes dead as you dig out a pile of shirts and pants. Mingyu nearly has his name on the lease next to Lisa so it’s no surprise he’s got half his closet here. Not that you mind since the nights Mingyu stays over come with a morning of homemade breakfast and a clean kitchen. If Lisa and Mingyu ever break up you’d consider kicking her out to let him move in. 

You return to the living room with a stack of options cradled in your arms.

“Here,” you say, shoving them into Wonwoo’s chest. “We’ve gotta leave in like ten minutes if we want to make it on time.”

Wonwoo emerges from the bathroom with two minutes to spare. Mingyu’s clothes are too big for him but it works. A sweater you could only describe as “meet the parents” hangs off his shoulders, tucked in at the waist. You try not to ogle but he looks good; too good considering you know what lies underneath.

“Ready?” he asks, breaking your trance.

“Yep. C’mon.”

The car ride downtown gives Wonwoo plenty of material to strike up conversation but he falls flat every time his mouth opens. Luckily, you’re more than willing to fill the silence and he’s grateful. 

He tries not to dwell on the fact this feels suspiciously like a date. Not just the sequence of events but the fact when you stopped for another coffee he immediately grabbed his empty pocket for the black leather wallet still on his kitchen counter. Or how he steps ahead to hold open the door when you reach the imposing white marble building downtown.

It doesn’t matter what it all feels like because Wonwoo doesn’t date. Not for lack of interest but some things in the world don’t work out and one of them is his love life. Further proof was the pained expression on your face when you invited him here; like you would have taken back the invitation in a second if you weren’t so polite.

“So what's the exhibit again?” he asks to fill the silence of the line at will call.

Today is a busy day for the museum. Students mill about between different groups. Couples young and old mixed between families. What do you two look like to them? A couple? Two friends that have seen each other naked but can’t manage a conversation afterwards? The idea has Wonwoo increasing the distance between you.

“Ugh, ‘Love: Immortal.’ It’s—”

“A collection of love, in all its forms.” Someone announces from behind.

A woman with dark hair approaches, obviously familiar to you from the way you greet each other. Wonwoo feels a fresh wave of discomfort at the way she cuts her eyes his way and then back to yours. Surprisingly, the way you shake your head makes him deflate.

“Alright, c’mon. Lots to see.” 

She drags you two to the front, flashing a smile at the security guard before walking through without hassle. 

“Benefits of knowing the head curator.” She turns to Wonwoo with a spark in his eye he recognizes from his interactions with Lisa. “Who are you?”

“Wonwoo.”

“Nice to meet you. I’m Em, I’m sure you’ve heard nothing about me.”

You huff dramatically but the beginnings of a smile form on your lips. 

“Y/N told me you’re in charge of the exhibit.”

“Wow, so you have heard of me! I like him better than the other one already.”

You turn to ice immediately. Shoulders tense, eyes burning. Wonwoo can only assume she means Seungcheol. He knows the barest details of the break up; he didn’t bother asking for information on something that wasn’t his business. Seungcheol didn’t like Wonwoo and he can’t say he was too fond of the older man in the few instances they interacted. Mingyu’s birthday party last year was the most recent time Wonwoo saw him and the entire night he couldn’t believe no one was feeling the same exasperation at turning every story into one about himself. 

At least someone seems to feel the same way.

“The exhibit?” you grit. 

Em leads you through the small crowds funneling towards the main room, to a closed off wing of the museum with several signs warning “EMPLOYEES ONLY BEYOND THIS POINT.” Thick blue velvet curtains obscure the room beyond the final arch but she bats them aside and ushers you two through the opening before tossing them closed once more. 

Frames fill the walls, evenly spaced with meticulous precision. Photographs in black in white, large canvases full of color. Across the floor, sculptures dominate the spaces; marble, bronze, one that looks like white sand from where Wonwoo stands.

“Well, you two have fun. I have to do some finishing touches on the brochures for tomorrow's benefactor showing.”

And like that he’s alone with you again.

At least this time he has the excuse of submersing himself in art. It isn’t something he has vast knowledge of but it’ll help dull the edge he still feels in your presence. 

The first sculpture looks straight out of an Italian vacation catalog. Pure marble, dramatic and imposing as it greets you two. It’s impressive; the detail, the skill. Wonwoo may not understand what he’s looking at but he can admire people blessed with the talent to create it. 

Warm sunlight pours in from the sky light, painting the figures in glowing buttery gold. The woman appears to be reaching up for the winged man, desperate, wanting. Her face is hidden but the man’s is angelic and serene.

A metal card sprouts from the ground at the foot of the statue.

Antonio Canova, “Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss.”

You split to circle the statue, taking in the smooth marble from all angles. Concentration bleeds across your brows, turning them into a soft scowl. Instead of staring, Wonwoo floats to the opposite wall, coming face to face with what might as well be a painting of the way you woke him hours ago. 

Two lovers, curled in the sheets, share a passionate kiss frozen in time. It hollows Wonwoo’s stomach to think someone from decades ago could paint something so familiar. Capture a moment he took for granted in a second only to have it replay in his face.

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec, In Bed, The Kiss. 

Whoever this Henri guy is, Wonwoo doesn’t like him.

“What do you think?” you ask from his side.

Startling from your voice, Wonwoo is at a lose for words. “It’s…nice?”

“Nice?”

Scrambling for an explanation to the lie he decides on the obvious, “Like the colors and stuff.”

“Huh.” 

He can’t help but feel he’s failed some kind of test. That something greater rode on his analysis of such a stifling painting.

“It looks like that one dude— Monet?”

“That dude Monet?” You snort. “He founded the impressionist movement so you’re not too far off.”

You’re already moving on to the next area when the initial sting of disappointment wears off. 

More paintings, all lovers clutching in passionate embraces dot along the walls. Some are sequenced to tell a story. Some painfully longing, others with surprisingly obvious eagerness.

Wonwoo finds you again parked in front of one of the darker canvases. Your figure shields the entire image from view but it's okay. He finds himself observing the way your head tilts to the side, like the two hooded figures are the most interesting puzzle you’ve ever faced. It pulls Wonwoo in like a magnet, he wants to see what you see. Understand what makes it so fascinating even if he doesn't get it himself.

René Magritte, The Lovers.

Suffocating is the first thing Wonwoo can think of. Unsettling, scared. A litany of descriptions he’s felt looking at the other works around the room but this one leaves him reeling. He moves on before you can ask him how he feels. 

Wonwoo doesn’t understand art, but apparently it understands him.

More pieces, cacophonies of colors and textures, swirls blending scenes into dreamlike scenes. Photos of couples, man and woman, woman and woman, man and man; all wrapped in embraces or staring fondly across the expanse.

Wonwoo works the way you came and you cover all the works he’s pretended to look at. The next time you collide in front of a dark painting near the end of the exhibit hall. 

Edvard Munch, The Kiss.

“What do you think?” Wonwoo asks this time.

You stare at the canvas a moment longer before responding. “It’s one of my favorites so I can’t be unbiased.”

“Promise I won’t tell anyone.”

A conspiratory smile, there and gone in a flash, makes his heart squeeze.

“Munch was supposedly pretty ambivalent to love, at least that's what some people think, but I feel like this and his other paintings show the opposite. It feels jealous? You see other people blend together seamlessly and it feels that's what he wants. If you saw Kissing by the Window I think it’d be more obvious. If you look at any of his other work you’d see he wasn’t ambivalent to anything.”

“Anything I’d know?”

“The Scream?”

“Wait, really? Like The Scream?”

“Yeah, it was a few years before he painted this but he painted couples kissing since before that.”

“Huh.”

“What do you think?”

“Now that you say that, it feels like I’m watching my friends make out at a party.”

Dual shudders wrack your bodies, no doubt picturing your roommates.

Searching for a distraction, Wonwoo approaches the last piece of the collection. A dark bronze statue; two lovers, a man and woman, sit naked, wrapped in each other's arms. The placard on the floor reads: Auguste Rodin, The Kiss (Le Baiser). 

Even though there's no movement, the desire is clear. It reminds him of this morning. How you sat in his lap, twisted in his embrace while he worked you up. For the first time, Wonwoo understands art. If he had the talent to immortalize the way you glow under his hands he’d do it. 

The realization leaves his ears ringing, heart beating in a flurry. 

Luckily, the only thing at the end of the hall is a photobooth. The sign next to it advertises the photos are free and the museum’s social media to share the pictures. You’re already making a beeline for the curtained side when Wonwoo decides to follow.

You scoot to the far edge of the seat, assuming he’s right behind. There's just enough room for him to fit in but the heat of your side into Wonwoo makes him sweat.

“Alright so we just press this and—oh!”

A flash of bright white startles you both as the machine quickly catches both of your startled expressions. The next one also catches you both off guard and so does the next. Wonwoo barely manages to smile in the last picture.

Peeking out from the curtain, he catches the strip of film falling into the dispenser tray and collects it for you both to inspect.

Surprise captured in blurry black and white photocards. Your mouth hangs open in almost all of them. Wonwoo’s eyes are shut in three of the four. As expected the final picture is the best but that's not much given the mess of the first three.

“Oh my god, you can see up your nose.” You cackle, fingers pointing at the second picture where Wonwoo’s barely a few inches from the camera. 

He can’t argue. Instead he laughs too and points out how you’re crossed eyed in the third picture. You both howl with amused delight at the collection of silly expressions. And just when it’s under control, one of you snorts and starts laughing again until you're both breathless.

“Okay, okay. Let’s do a real one now.” 

Settling in, you both wiggle next to each other to get comfortable despite the lack of space. Wonwoo’s arm finds its way around your waist simply because there's nowhere else for it to go. Same for your hand on his thigh as you lean forward and press the button again. 

You're still too close to the camera lens when the first picture flashes but manage to lean back in time for the second. 

“Now a silly one.”

You both move at the same time, heads colliding. Wonwoo jumps back, head hitting the hardwood wall behind him. The camera flashed again while stars danced in his vision. Like something in a movie, his eyes meet yours. Humor melts into something more serious. The urge to kiss you, to feel your lips against his, not from some primitive hunger but a different sort of long he felt all morning. 

“You guys found the photo booth?” Em’s voice calls from beyond the curtain.

Wonwoo tries to hide his disappointment but you mirror it clear as day before he ducks out of the booth.

After your not-date with Wonwoo, you cherish the peace soon to be shattered that evening. Your roommates integrate you when they return from their trips. Amina first, pretending she has no knowledge of the unexpected guest until Lisa arrives an hour later. Her suitcase sits forgotten at the door, diving into a good cop bad cop routine over bags of takeout. 

“Okay, so you hook up the night before, go to a lovers exhibit at an art museum the next day, get lunch afterwards, and you still don’t think it's a date?” Amina asks in disbelief.

“Nope.” You pop the ‘P’ for extra emphasis while dividing the steaming take out between three plates. The events of the early morning are one of the few details you kept secret. Mostly to preserve Wonwoo’s pride but also to keep more evidence from building your roommates’ case.

Lisa chews through her noodles. “Did he think it was a date?”

“No.” Maybe. What if he did? Wonwoo didn’t say anything, didn’t attempt to hold your hand like some might on a date, didn’t flirt with you or stand too close. The only thing to suggest otherwise was the almost kiss in the photobooth that didn't really count at all. He needed to kill time before being let back in his apartment and you were sympathetic enough to help. 

But the strip of film, with blurry captures of you mid-sentence and Wonwoo’s shocked face, remains a secret, tucked under a pile of books on the shelf in your room. Another moment you feel protective of. Want it to exist away from prying eyes, just between you two after what was definitely not a date in an exhibit full of romantic paintings and sculptures. 

The second strip of film is with Wonwoo. You watched him from the corner of your eye as he scooped it up while you focused your attention elsewhere. Anywhere that would keep away the idiotic warmth attempting to bloom in your chest.

“Mingyu said Wonwoo wouldn’t talk about it so maybe your right.”

“How is your boyfriend just as nosey as you?” Amina asks through her own mouthful of chicken.

“Hey! Mingyu is definitely the bigger gossip in our relationship.”

“Steep competition.” You snicker, joined by your other roommate when Lisa chucks a fortune cookie.

“Anyway,” Lisa claps. “You and lover boy should figure out if you’re dating now.”

“We’re not dating."

Another week passes in a blink; the same nonsense with work, roommates, and friends. But you can’t shake the feeling something has changed between you and Wonwoo. His endearingly awkward attempt at small talk over text didn’t help. Assuring you Mingyu put him under a microscope when he got home, random drivel about his work day, even asking more about some of the artists you showed him in the other exhibits at the museum.

But you aren’t dating Wonwoo. That’s the key fact. You aren’t in a relationship and you’re both free to do whatever you want with whoever you want. It’s the mantra you repeat in your head over and over as you watch another girl flirt with him at the bar over the rim of your drink. 

She’s pretty. Pretty enough you can’t find a way to fault him for entertaining her while waiting for the next round. Confident too, tossing her head back as his mouth moves to respond to her quip. Nothing he said could be that funny. But she laughs wildly nonetheless and Wonwoo eats it up. One of her hands finds his arm, claws digging into claim him for the night.

Your buzz turns to a boil, fueled by alcohol and the green-eyed monster whispering in your ear. Wonwoo came with you. Technically not a lie because you arrived together with the rest of your group after meeting at his and Mingyu’s apartment. But Wonwoo hovered near you, his hand slipping further up your bare thigh as the night progressed. The unnamed woman can do whatever she wants because Wonwoo is at the bar to get you a drink. And it’s you he’ll sit back down next to. Or that’s what you tell yourself.

The details of Wonwoo’s face are indiscernible; if he’s smiling at her awkwardly, or laughing at her jokes, or looking at her with the same hungry expression you’ve been on the receiving end of. Granted the bar is dark and bodies crush in on all sides, obscuring your view to the point you try and peer around them without shame to watch the show. But she steps closer and Wonwoo isn’t stepping away.

Rather than continue your own torture through watching the display, your drunk brain forces your body to take action. The bar gets closer as you weave between the crowd with grace or shouldering through drunk partiers who pretend not to hear you ask for space. 

Just enough space remains between Wonwoo’s body and the redhead for you to slide between them.

“Hi,” you smile with false sweetness.

Wonwoo doesn’t seem shocked as he smiles back after a beat. “Hi.”

“Um, excuse you?” the woman scoffs behind you. “We were talking.”

You don’t even need to speak before Wonwoo plucks the cup full of ice and lime wedges out of your grasp, passing one of the new drinks the bartender slides his way. Once he has his own, you’re led away while whatever-her-name-is stomps her foot in the background. 

The dance floor bleeds out into the rest of the club but Wonwoo wedges you both deep enough that the walls of bodies all around offer some sort of privacy. Not that anyone is paying mind to another pair crammed close together, you two are simply one in dozens.

Chest to chest, the pulse of music lulls you into blind numbness beyond the warmth of his thigh between your own. The drag of muscle against your core with each sway. Firm hands guide your hips, teasing under the edge of your top before dipping back down. Your hands are far more teasing; one knotting in his hair, pulling until you can feel the rumble in his throat where the other rakes across. 

Wonwoo focuses his own taunts across your face. A kiss to the corner of your mouth, your cheek, chin, temple, ear. Everywhere you want to feel him but not where you need him. The smirk of his lips against your jaw, a cruel mock at the way your hips buck eagerly from some light petting, sends a new wave of chills down your spine.

It's nothing worse than anyone else is doing but you feel naked. More exposed when you find his mouth against your own, tongue scorching between your teeth, dragging across your own to spread you thin. All you can think about is where he’s touching you, how easily he could dip his hand up the back of your skirt and find evidence of arousal in spades. 

The bass dips to something slower, vibrating deep in your bones and any concerns for the public eye dissipates with it. You don’t know the song. It doesn’t matter if you did because the motions of your hips follow Wonwoo’s until you turn around. He doesn’t miss a beat when you turn and glue your back to his chest; hard against the seat of ass with his palm spread across your stomach to keep you firm against the next grind.

Wonwoo’s hand follows the heat of your thigh up and up and up until only the short hemmed skirt stands in the way. Skin glowing under the attention, you wiggle further back into his chest until he takes the chance. Wonwoo lets the sway of the music do the work, fingertips flat to the seam of your panties providing enough friction to drive you wild.

It’s too dark to see below your shoulders, let alone for anyone else to see where his hand works, but the risk of getting caught scorches your nerves. 

Hot smokey air blurs your vision when you lean back to whisper an offer too good to refuse. The bar is on the same long street as his apartment, a quick walk to fuck in the comfort of a mattress. But as your eyes slip open to tempt him, Wonwoo is already looking at something far across the club. 

Following his line of sight, you find your ex-boyfriend crowded in a booth, surrounded on all sides by familiar faces who became strangers in the aftermath of the breakup. Seungcheol isn’t looking at you because he’s in deep with some blonde; arm around her shoulder and chin tipped back. The same moves he used to get you.

But Seungcheol can’t be here because he’s halfway across the country. He wasn’t coming back. That’s what he said. He wasn’t coming back yet he’s sitting less than fifty feet away. 

Your eyes finally manage to work again, scanning the others at the table and finding his best friend. Of course he’d come back for Jeonghan’s birthday. 

It’s Jeonghan who looks at you first, not Seungcheol. His eyes drag above your head, where he must spot Wonwoo’s face given the way he fails to conceal a second of shock before looking away. Jeonghan leans towards Seungcheol’s ear and you don’t stay to guess what he’s saying.

The bar is too crowded, the music too loud. Too many people jostling you side to side while you navigate towards the hallway leading towards the bathroom. It’s dark, a few couples pressed against the walls; some chatting, others… reenacting what’s happening on the dancefloor.

Thankfully the bathroom is empty. After locking the door, you catch a glimpse in the mirror. Skin flushed with sweat, hands trembling, and heart racing. How much is due to dancing after a few rounds and what can be attributed to the anxiety of an unexpected run in with your ex is unclear. The coolness of a wet paper towel against your skin helps wash away some of the mess.

Pacing in a tight circle, you burn a rut into the floor.

You won’t be upset. You won’t. You aren’t. Whatever you had with Seungcheol is long over. Thoughts of him, rose colored memories, were nothing but the past. They didn’t bring the same misery as before, the longing to have him back or for a different reality. But your body refuses to have the same reaction now that he’s back in orbit.

A firm knock against the door startles you. 

“Um– someone’s in here.”

“It’s me.”

Not Lisa. Not Amina. You unlock the door to find Wonwoo peering back. His eyes widen behind the frames of his glass as he eyes your state in the new lighting. 

“Sorry, I’m—” you sniffle, cut off by the comfort of Wonwoo’s chest.

It’s awkward, arms pinned under his own and your nose jammed against his collar bone. You’ve never hugged Wonwoo, or seen him hug anyone else for that matter. But he’s trying. 

The rhythm of his heart calms your own. On instinct, your arms circle the narrow part of his waist, melting into the weight of his hold. All the worries dull around the edges, softened with Wonwoo here; his face pressed into the crown of your head.

“Wanna leave?” he asks.

Nodding into his collar bone, you inhale the smell of his cologne. Sweat and beer and smoke from the bar also seep in but you hold tight anyway; cling to the comfort of his scent until you feel lighter.

Another knock at the door breaks you apart, but Wonwoo keeps you close with a squeeze.

“Occupied,” Wonwoo responds.

You imagine what the person beyond the door will think when you exit. Eyes glazed, shirts wrinkled, even Wonwoo’s hair is a mess from your fingers constant tugging earlier. Maybe you’d care less if the night wasn’t interrupted unexpectedly. But now you just want to run home and sleep.

This time when you step away, Wonwoo lets you. “Good?”

“Better,” you respond. 

Ushering you out the door, you quickly find the person who knocked.

Seungcheol leans against the far wall, arms crossed in front of his chest. The massive silver watch he insisted on wearing staring you down. He looks exactly the same as the day he left albeit more inebriated. Face tinged pink, shirt wrinkled at the collar. The light pouring out from the bathroom highlights the smudge of lipstick on his throat. 

And he’s staring Wonwoo down like he wants a fight.

He quirks an eyebrow. “So this is what you’ve been up to?”

The ability to speak evades you. What’s there to say? The first words you hear from him in months and the situation doesn’t paint a friendly light.

“Ya’ know, she let me fuck her in there too.”

Wonwoo stiffs at your back. It’s a half truth. Seungcheol wouldn’t fuck you in the bathroom after you asked but he left you suck him off. You don’t argue. The details won’t make you look any better. You doubt Wonwoo wants to hear it. Not after being so close to fingering you on the dance floor for everyone to see.

It’s embarrassing. You heat in the face once again but ignore the bait. Instead, you snag Wonwoo’s hand and pull him away. He fights for a second, a hesitant tug backwards while he sizes up the older man. If they want to fight, you aren’t going to play witness.

Wonwoo stays as you leave. Down the hallway, past the bar, and out the exit as quick as you came. Only the bouncer stands outside the bar in the chilly night, bidding you farewell as you follow the sidewalk home. 

The cold sobers up whatever alcohol remains in your system before freezing you down to your bones. Rain lingers in the air, on the edge of falling so you pick up the pace. It’s a long walk but not an unwelcome one. Plenty of people fill the streets, pouring in and out from other bars or restaurants open to the late night crowd. Hopefully they’ve all had a better night than you.

A crack of thunder announces the sky’s descent. Fat raindrops soak you to the bone before you can dodge under an awning. Everyone scatters like ants, swarming for any safe haven available. Puddles the size of swimming pools flood the sidewalk; cars rip up waves to douse the unfortunate souls close to the curb. 

It’s the kind of rain where the clouds fall all at once. Waves of thunder split in half from bolts of lightning. Raindrops bounce from the ground, sent sideways by the wind to soak your shoes. The pounding sound deafens everything else but not the embarrassment clouding around. All you want to do is get home, lie down, and forget everything in a tub of ice cream. 

You thought you wouldn’t care about seeing Seungcheol after your break. Sure the brief shock would settle in but after that there wouldn’t be anything else. No hard feelings, no feelings at all. But the reality of these things is always worse than the way they play out in your head. 

Seungcheol with a new girl like he’s done it a million times since your break up. Seungcheol wrapped in someone else’s arms, covered in someone else’s lipstick, without a glance your direction. 

The more you think, the more you realize it isn’t seeing Seungcheol that freaked you out. Because you’ve been hanging around Wonwoo, spending nights wrapped in his arms, almost kissing him without the excuse of sex afterwards. 

It’s having Wonwoo there to witness Seungcheol acting like an asshole. That he practically called you a slut to Wonwoo’s face, treating you like some object in their weird dislike for each other. It’s also the embarrassment that you dated Seungcheol to begin with. And how before you spotted Seungcheol you didn’t care about anything beyond where your body ended and Wonwoo’s began. All you wanted was to spend the night with him.

“Here,” a familiar voice rumbles next to you.

Wonwoo forces his jacket around your shoulders. Too tempted by the warm dryness, you accept without objection. The comforting scent of his cologne tickles your nose and you fit the urge to press into the collar for more. Instead you pull it tighter around your frame and watch the storm rage on. 

“My place is on the next block.” Wonwoo says. “You can wait there until the rain stops.”

This time when you grab his hand, Wonwoo follows. 

What Seungcheol said, what he implied, boiled Wonwoo’s blood. It wasn’t his business. It wasn’t anyone’s business. Maybe Wonwoo was jealous of what Seungcheol said, the power he still clearly had on you.

He hated that after you walked away Seungcheol’s eyes followed you down the hallway; the cocky expression on his face say ‘I won’ like you were a pawn in some fucked up game. In a way, Seungcheol had won. You scurried away like like being around Wonwoo was some sort of crime, leaving him to face the older man.

Wonwoo hadn’t take the bait. He was more concerned about where you’d end up in such a frazzled state that he only hesitated for a second rather than beating the crap out of your ex.

But right now, instead of dwelling on those unwanted feelings, Wonwoo focuses on not freezing to death in the storm. He sprints alongside you, kicking up more water that only serves to soak you both further. You take turns pulling each other under awnings and into doorways. A car passes by and sends a wave that splashes him in the face, knocking his glasses askew.

One glance at your face, shock pulling his features wide, sends you into a fit. 

Hands on your knees, you keel over in laughter. Shoulders shaking, belly clenched cackling that confuses Wonwoo more than anything else tonight. More and more rain falls around you as you hunch over to catch your breath, only to choke on more shrill giggles.

Wonwoo starts shakes too. From the cold mostly. But then his head kicks back and he laughs at the ridiculousness with you. At the way you sway on unsteady feet, unable to breathe. At the utter insanity of the night you’ve shared together.

You fall into his arms, propping each other up the remaining distance to his apartment. Occasionally chirps break through; Wonwoo collapses, pulling you with him or vice versa teetering back and forth like a pair of drunk fools.

The metal of his front door is familiar once again but Wonwoo cages you against with new warmth in his chest. He could kiss you. He wants to kiss you, but he also want to stand here and laugh like kids sharing some silly secret for hours. 

Settling for a quick peck against your chin, Wonwoo smiles again as your lips chase him. It squeezes something deep in his chest until it hurts. The corners of your own mouth strain along with his, warm pain because Wonwoo thinks he might like you. 

More than a hookup. More than some casual fling that will dissolve in the next few months. Wonwoo likes you.

As he opens the door, ushering you inside and pulling off your soaked top, he really hopes you like him too.

Taglist: @tomodachiii @cvpidyunho @miniseokminnies @ddaengpotate @arycutie @gaebestie @primoppang @gyuguys @mine-gyu @doremifasire @missminhoe @toplinehyunjin @crvs4vldtn @prettygyuuu @lovelyhachi @sliceofwoozi @dokyeomkyeom @cheolism

Series Taglist: @aaniag @sdoulc @wonvsmile @jeonwonwooscutie @wonrangwoo @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @yogurttea @4cheezflatbred @fragmentof-indifference @p-dwiddle @icedearlgreytea @cottoncheol @hoshiskimchi @listxn @kwonshiho @kyeomofhearts @beananacake

© highvern. copying/reuploading/translating my work anywhere is strictly prohibited.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

100 songs to get to know me

I posted this image over on the bluesky, and it got like 100 likes, so now here we are. I was going to write them all up here, but Tumblr imposes a 10 video limit on embeds per post which I find infuriating.

So! You can read the first ten entries here, but you can read the entire list here: https://tbskyen.bearblog.dev/100-songs-to-get-to-know-me/

1. ABBA - Lay All Your Love On Me

I genuinely don't quite know if my enjoyment of ABBA is something I came by honestly, or something which is simply genetically engineered into my Scandinavian soul. I remember hearing my mom blasting their songs on the home stereo in my childhood, and the association has put permanent nostalgia blinders on me for all of ABBA's greatest hits. Still, I think the beat is undeniable and the mournful tone of the chorus adds some real melancholy to the dramatic plea at the core of the song.

2. Afenginn - Oestrogenmanipuleret Basilisk

Afenginn describe themselves as "bastard etno-punk" which is probably as good a description as you're going to get. There's a lot of klezmer and eastern European folk influences here, but what is more important about Afenginn's best songs is that they go hard as f*ck and it's an absolute blast to dance to them at a show. They played this the first time I saw them live, and the rhythm comes back every time I hear it again. Good times!

3. Afenginn - Ralli in D Minor

With 100 slots to fill, I am giving myself permission to allocate two slots to Afenginn, and for the same reason. Ralli in D Minor is less of a dance tune to me, and more of a headbanger, but with a sufficiently loud subwoofer and a game crowd, you could f*ing mosh to this.

4. Anamanaguchi - Prom Night

I discovered Anamanaguchi as the composers of the title track to the Nerdist podcast back in the day, and being unfamiliar with the concept of chiptunes, I was drawn in initially by the sheer novelty of hearing the squeaks and bloops of my gaming childhood employed towards rock tunes and combined with "real" instruments.

Beyond the gimmick, though, Anamanaguchi won me over fully with the Scott Pilgrim game soundtrack, and then 2013's Endless Fantasy, where the gimmick of chiptune nostalgia noise (at least for me) finally coalesced into something that felt entirely like its own thing. Plus I'm a sucker for exactly this kind of bright dance pop, and Bianca Raquel's vocals here are a perfect match for the tone of the music.

5. Jennifer Hudson - Memory

2019s Cats is a fascinating fucking disaster. Tom Hooper is the worst director of musicals in my living memory, the abuse of the VFX staff extended beyond brutal crunch and absurd challenge imposed by a director who had no idea what the hell he was asking them to do all the way into an astonishingly arrogant and condescending joke from Rebel Wilson and James Corden at the expense of workers who were the last people at fault for the disaster that the movie became (look in the fucking mirror, Wilson and Corden, your performances were rancid).

Still, the silver lining of Cats is we got to hear Jennifer Hudson shake the world on its foundations with her rendition of Memory. I don't give a shit what anyone says, this performance is transcendent and no amount of institutional failure can dim its quality.

6. Annette Bjergfeldt - Min Bærende Bjælke

Annette is one of my mother's oldest friends, and a prolific singer-songwriter now turned author. I've been going to her concerts since I was a little child, and while I am absolutely not the target audience for any of it, it has stuck with me as part of my musical vocabulary deep into adulthood.

She has experimented with brass band accompaniment a few times, but for my money, nothing quite comes close to the floating, optimistic vibe of Min Bærende Bjælke. It sounds like a very particular kind of lasting romance, which of course is also what the lyrics are about.

7. Hozier - Blood Upon the Snow

We'll get more than one Hozier song on this list, but Blood Upon the Snow stands out to me as a song which easily transcends the videogame soundtrack promotional tie-in nature of its conception. Bear McCreary's hurdy gurdy and lyrics about surviving through adversity by holding on to existence with your teeth and nails... yeah, it hits with me. There's something real in that.

"The trees deny themselves nothing that makes them grow, no rainfall, no sunshine, no blood upon the snow." Something about that feels real.

8. The Beatles - Something

idk if I really need to write anything about George Harrison's most famous love song that hasn't been written more extensively by a million dad-rock enthusiasts before me.

I will say, this is one of the few songs I listen to regularly that justify the expensive audiophile headphones I invest in. There's a LOT to hear on a good, lossless, original mix of this song, if you're the kind of pervert who gets off to listening to a song a hundred times to focus on different parts of the soundscape. (it's me, I am the pervert)

9. Blink-182 - Adam's Song

I discovered a lot of my music taste as a young man from extremely low-resolution AMVs that my friend used to download off sketchy file-sharing sites. Blink-182 entered my musical lexicon through the one above, specifically, piggybacking off of my teenage love of Dragon Ball.

I never really grokked what the lyrics were actually about, until relistening to the song years later, but something about the minor-key wail of the thing really sat with my angsty teenage soul and has stuck with me ever since. I cannot listen to this song without that music video playing in my head, the song will forever belong to Vegeta.

There's remastered versions of this AMV out there, apparently, but if it's not 144p with tinny audio, it's just not right. That's not what the song is supposed to sound like, not to me.

10. Blink-182 - Miss You

Blink-182 is one of those bands I discovered via anime AMVs and listened to obsessively for a period as a teenager (The Offspring will show up later on this list), and then fell entirely out of touch with for years until discovering much later in life that they did, in fact, keep releasing music. I Miss You from their self-titled 2003 album felt, when I discovered it sometime in the early 2010s, like a much more mature and interesting sound from a band which had gotten stuck associated with my adolescent superpower kung-fu fantasies which I was, at the time, feeling a bit embarrassed about.

The song had a resurgence on TikTok a little while ago as a meme template, which made me listen to the albums again, and rediscover yet again that Blink-182 is, in fact, still putting out albums.

---

The rest of the list is here: https://tbskyen.bearblog.dev/100-songs-to-get-to-know-me/

[itsrlymine]

I was scrolling through tumblr and found your page and omg- I was reading one of your pinned posts and this particular quote clicked, "How can you create reality when reality is already created?" THATS SO TRUE??

I really dislike how a lot of creators act as if you have to do a bunch of things to "get your desires" when you are literally just becoming aware of something that already exists, it's exactly that phrase, "You want it, you got it." ITS AS SIMPLE AS THATT!! Seriously, it really is that easy, y'all need to start listening to this queen fr.

Also can I be 🌌 anon please?

LITERALLY!!!!! 🌌 I'm sorry I'm seeing this late but babe you are so f-ing correct! It is as easy as we make it but it's even easier than that! There is nothing for us to do or become. We just are it already like wake tf up!!!

[lovelybucky1]

I'm the one who requested the drug deal Jonathan Crane thing and I f*ing love it p.p Thanks for writing that! That was the first request I made on Tumblr that got an answer and I keep smiling like a cheshire cat when I look at it xD

Also I wouldn't mind at all if you ever decided to make a sequel (no pressure, though) :3

my inbox is open for cillian characters! please keep the request coming, i love them so much 🫶🫶🫶

warnings: dubcon, kidnapping, mentions of drug use, AFAB!reader, mild knife play, hitting/punching, mild blood, unprotected sex, breeding kink, degradation, really nasty horrible stuff, 18+ minors dni

part 1

masterlist

jonathan isn’t gentle in the slightest. his nails scratch your skin as he tears your clothes off of you, not bothering to even undo the buttons or zippers. he mutters to himself under his breath as he manhandles you without care

you fought him at first. you hit and scratched and bit and squirmed, but after a stinging slap to your face and a threat to your neck, you decided to back down. you dont make it easy for him, of course. you lay limply in the cramped van as he tries to manipulate your arms and legs to get your clothes off.

“you fucking bitch,” he spits, teeth still bloody from the well-aimed punch you got in. “no wonder he gave you up without a second thought.”

giving up on trying to get your pants of, he picks up a long hunting knife from the floor and slices through then with ease. somehow he didn’t cut you, but you suppose the fear was part of his plan

you were now left only in your underwear in a dark van with a psychopathic potential murderer. he looks at you hungrily, like he can’t tell where to begin with you. you try to close your legs, but he grabs your thighs and slots himself between them so you can’t hide yourself

“that didn’t have to be so difficult,” he hisses

“you said you like when they fight back.”

he grins, and if you didn’t know what you do now, you’d be charmed by it, but all you can see are the maggots that come from his rotten insides.

he reaches down and begins to undo his fly. he pulls his pants down just enough to free his cock, and even in the dark you can see how hard it is. you know he won’t be gentle, and the size makes you nervous.

“i can give you something for the pain,” he suggests. “you won’t feel a thing except pleasure.”

“i’m not taking anything from you.”

he pulls your underwear aside and slaps your pussy to see you jump. “smart choice. i was lying,” he smirks.

he lines his cock up with your entrance and pushes in slowly, but unrelentingly. you cry out as he forces his way inside of you, carving space out for him as he goes. he has no care for your comfort

“fuck! you fucking asshole!”

“awh, does it hurt?” he asks condescendingly. “your little cunt can’t handle all of me?”

a scream rips out of your throat when he roughly thrusts into you. you try to push him away, pushing on his chest, neck, shoulders, and arms, but there’s no use. he laughs at your pathetic attempts to get him off of you

“you can’t escape it. let me use this dirty pussy like you let your boyfriend,” he smirks. “think about him, hm? you trusted him, thought he was a real nice guy, didn’t you? he’s the one who got you into this. he’s the one who let me do this to you. doesn’t that make you angry?”

tears sting in your eyes again as you think about your betrayal. he did allow this monster to violate you like this. you never would have done something like that to him.

“now look at you. you went from a happy couple to a duggie and his whore. well, now you’re my whore.”

jonathan fucks you hard and fast, clearly only using your body to get off rather than making it good for you too. his hips slam against yours and each time you hit your head against the metal wall of the van

“fuck you!” you scream, throat raw

“i’m doing you a fucking favor, sweetheart. you know what would’ve happened if i left you out there with him? you’d be in a living nightmare right now, praying for god to put you out of your misery.”

you pick your hand up and palm his face, pushing on his nose until his head is turned to the side. a growl escapes his mouth and he grabs your wrist tightly, ripping your hand off of him.

jonathan’s face flashes with rage and he pulls out of you entirely. for a moment, you think it’s over. that is, until he grabs you by the hair and pushes you face down on the floor. before you could get up, he drapes himself over your back and lines his cock up with you again

“you’re making me regret keeping you,” he hisses as he pushes inside again. immediately he resumes his brutal pace, fucking into you too deeply.

“then- fuck, let me go”

“i can’t do that. you’ve seen my face. you know too much.” he leans down to press his mouth against your ear. “i could kill you, or you could shut the fuck up and take my dick.”

you try to scream, but he seemingly read your mind. his hand clamps over your mouth and he shushes you.

“fuck, baby, ‘m close,” he pants. his hot breath is sickening as it fans over your neck. “where do you want me to cum?”

“pull out,” you say, but it’s muffled by his hand. “pull out!”

“what’s that? cum inside? you naughty little thing,” he chuckles.

he lets go of your mouth and moves his head to push your head against the floor. his thrusts are erratic and sloppy, his hips hitting yours rapidly until a strained groan escapes his mouth and you feel his cum flood your cunt.

“shit!” you yell, but jonathan is unbothered

jonathan lays on top of you, his dead weight pinning you to the floor as he catches his breath. his softening cock remains inside of you and you cringe at the feeling

jonathan finally gets off and you sit up to try to find your clothes. before you could look, jonathan pushes you back down with his foot to your shoulder. you watch as he kneels in front of you and positions your legs where he wants them.

he has your legs spread with your knees up, used pussy on display. before you could realize what’s happening, there is a camera flash and a mechanical noise

“what the fuck?” you exclaim, finally realizing what he just did

“just in case you get any ideas,” he smirks, holding up a developing polaroid.

[designatedgrape]

Uncle Wayne, How Do I?

I’ve never done a tumblr ficlet before, but @sullymygoodname mentioned older Steve having his own “Dad, How Do I” YouTube channel, and my brain immediately went off in its own direction.

Steddie modern AU, rated G, 700 words. Written in less than an hour, and not edited.

---

It takes less than a day after Steve moves into his first apartment for him to realize that he’s in over his head. He’d thought the hardest part of moving out of his parents’ house was scraping together enough money for first month, last month, and the security deposit. But apparently, he was sorely mistaken. He looks helplessly between the picture frame in his hands and the large swath of empty wall above his thrift store sofa, and he realizes…he has no idea how to hang this thing.

So of course, he turns to YouTube.

The first suggested video for “how to hang a picture” is from a channel called “Uncle Wayne, How Do I?” Steve snorts. He wonders how many videos it would take to cover all of the knowledge that Richard Harrington failed to impart on his son.

He clicks on the thumbnail—and a man in his late 40s, looking stoic as he stands next to a picture frame on a wall—and turns up the volume on his phone.

“I’m Wayne Munson, and this is how you hang up a picture frame.”

Okay, good start. 

Steve is expecting Wayne Munson to walk him through each step, describing what he’s doing as he goes, but…no. Wayne does something with a ruler, and something with a long yellow thing that might be a ruler, but has a bunch of clear tubes with greenish liquid inside? And then he uses a pencil to mark the wall, because he’s somehow figured out where he wants the picture to go. Steve must have missed that part. He’ll have to go back in a minute, but for now he just wants to see what comes next.

Wayne uses a hammer—Steve knows that tool!—and a nail… Wait, no. Not just a nail. There’s also a hook. But the nail goes through the hook? Did Wayne make a hole in it?

And then suddenly, the picture is hanging on the wall, and Wayne faces the camera, unsmiling. It’s the screenshot from the thumbnail. And that’s…it. What the fuck kind of how-to video was that?

Steve is just about to click away in annoyance, when the sound of a shrieking guitar comes through his phone’s speaker, and a black screen with “Eddie Translates for Uncle Wayne” in blood-red letters appears.

“All right, boys, girls and everyone in between, let’s go over that again, shall we?”

The voice is distinctly younger: low and mysterious, melodic and teasing. Steve waits for a face to appear to match it, but one never does. Instead, Eddie just talks over the same video that Steve watched a moment ago. This time, though, there are pauses and replays and slow-motion sections, all while Eddie says things like, 

“So when I asked Wayne what he did here, he just grunted and gestured at the screen, which I’m pretty sure means that you need to measure from the top of the frame to the hanging wire or triangle ring or sawtooth hanger or whatever you’ve got.”

and

“Pop quiz from Uncle Wayne, little sheepies: why should you use a picture hanging hook on the wall instead of just a regular nail? If you guessed, ‘because it looks f-ing badass,’ you’re damn right it do— Ow, Wayne! Jesus! I’m getting to it!” Eddie clears his throat. “The correct answer, according to Uncle Wayne, is, quote, ’So that you don’t rip half the damn wallboard off when your picture falls down because you didn’t take ten seconds to find a damn stud.’ Cool. So there you go.”

Steve is grinning so hard that it feels like his cheeks are getting a stretching workout. As soon as the video ends, he immediately clicks on the next one. Wayne—or more accurately, Eddie—is teaching him how to plant grass seed. Steve definitely won’t need this information for the foreseeable future, given that he doesn’t have any yard to speak of, but that’s neither here nor there.

He doesn’t notice how many videos he’s watched until he realizes the arm holding up his phone is starting to ache, he’s desperately thirsty and also has to pee, and the sun is starting to set. And he still hasn’t hung up the picture that started this all. 

He might however, be a little bit in love with Eddie.

[onlyancunin]

I feel better now, a little update

First and foremost I want to thank you for all the reactions under the last post. I feared I'd get angry messages, I remember the last time I was on Tumblr (10+ years ago, I was in Loki/Avengers and SPN fandoms back then), if I tried to post "too much heavy personal stuff" that ruffled someone's feathers, I'd get hateful anons. I was fully prepared to get attacked again but the reaction was so accepting and supporting it honestly makes me cry. I was really, really ready to get berated, so seeing quite the opposite feedback really touches me. From the bottom of my fucked up heart - thank you. For listening, letting me know you listened, for messaging me, for relating with me.

Sending back words of encouragement and little boosts of strength your way ✨✨✨ to anyone reading. Whatever it is that's pissing you off today, grab the bling bling and beat the sh# sh# out of it.

If I learned anything along the way it's not how ruined the life is that makes getting out of it hard. It's believing we deserve something better.

And after how many years of shit... PURE SHIT... I think we do deserve something better. If not our of self-love, then out of f-ing spite and up yours to whatever that left you so broken you believe you're beyond help. I cling onto the notion that nobody, me included, is beyond help, no matter what happened. I cling on it like my life depends on it because it does.

Sorry for the tangent, I feel very emotional rn. And grateful. I've ordered soup, I'll try to feed myself. My whole body is sore, I had the most intense and weird dreams revolving around the dichotomy of good and evil in life. How one feeds off of the other, essentially all being one and the same, just dressed in a makeup that makes it more digestible, depending on who thinks they deserve what. I slept for 13 hours straight and any other day I'd say I feel like shit but compared to yesterday, I feel like a fucking god. I'm literally sore from my muscles tensing for hours, but at least the shivers are gone.

What a timeline.

Sending hugs. If anyone wants to speak, my dms are open. I'm no expert in battling addiction, but I have 10+ years of experience. And I know a thing or two about hating oneself.

Bonus- my emotional support cat named Cas (after the holy tax accountant) :

✨✨✨

[alicesadventuresinffxiv]

What are the most popular F/F Final Fantasy XIV ships?

(*on AO3, as of October 13, 2024)

I like writing femslash, so while I was doing the FFxivWrite challenge, I had the thought: wouldn’t it be fun to try writing each of the top 10 most popular FFXIV F/F ships? 

I figured it would be a good way for me to learn to write characters I wasn’t used to, plus hopefully it would mean some of the well-liked but rarely-written pairings would get more fic for them!

But then I ran head-first into the question: what are those F/F ships? I hit some interesting challenges attempting to figure that out, so here’s a post about how I reached my answer!

.

First things first: I’m using AO3 stats for this analysis, entirely because AO3 has the most robust searching and filtering tools. Trying to wrangle this kind of analysis on tumblr or twitter would be a nightmare, as much as I’d love to know the answer on those sites!

Second, let’s quickly double check my assumption that F/F ships are indeed rarepairs in this fandom.

Yep, if you’re at all familiar with @centrumlumina's work on AO3 stats (which this analysis is somewhat inspired by ^^;), this is exactly in line with general fandom trends! For reasons that I understand intellectually but not in my heart, F/F fics tend to hover at around 6% of AO3 output overall.

Interestingly, this small slice of femslash makes FFXIV more similar to large, broad fandoms like the MCU or MHA (pictured above), and less similar to other online multiplayer videogame fandoms (pictured below). You might think that given its friendly reputation, FFXIV would attract more women and/or LGBTQ+ players and therefore have a higher proportion of femslash. But nope!

(Admittedly, pitting FFXIV against the fandom that contains Arcane feels a little unfair... :P)

.

So alright, with that out of the way, let’s start by doing the obvious thing. Hey AO3, what are the top 10 relationship tags when searching FFXIV on the F/F category?

[Note: Since the Warrior of Light is typically written as the author’s original character - especially in cases with multiple WoLs - I am combining the WoL/WoL and WoL/OC tags together.]

If you’ve been in FFXIV spaces for a while, you probably already guessed the #1 result! But as someone relatively new to the fandom, I was actually quite surprised. None of my previous fandoms had nearly this much focus on original characters!

Indeed, WoL/NPC ships and OC/ OC ships absolutely dwarf the numbers for any NPC/NPC ships, with the exception of the three largest M/M pairings (Aymeric/Estinien, Emet-Selch/Hythlodaeus, and Thancred/Urianger). Also, given that not everyone tags their OCs using either of the WoL or OC tags (ack! please use tags, your works get lost otherwise!)… you can always expect results for OCs to be an undercount. Woah!

Anyway, since WoL ships are so huge, I decided it made the most sense to give them their own list:

Another thing that surprised me is that male characters in FFXIV are so many times more popular than female characters that genderbent M/M pairings will show up in these F/F lists.

And… I wasn’t quite sure how to count those ships in my tallies.

On the one hand, genderbending (not to mention trans headcanoning-ing!) characters is a fun and often subversive way to approach popular ships. More power to everyone doing it!

On the other hand, part of the underlying motivation for my own writing goal was that I wanted to write pairings that fandom somewhat overlooks. 

As such, I went with a compromise: I’m including pairings with canonically male characters in my graphs (those are the pink bars), but I kept the lists going until I reached 10 pairings involving characters who are portrayed as women in the source material.

(There were no nonbinary FFXIV characters which placed on any of my lists, sadly. Apologies to Feo Ul, who is still the loveliest of branches in my heart.)

Other than that caveat, the results here aren’t too far off from my own guesses. Anecdotally, I’d seen that a lot of WoLs are self-inserts for their players, so it makes sense that typical WoL ships are with NPCs that are generally considered to be attractive by the fanbase. Correspondingly, the Reader/Character fics that are somewhat common in other fandoms don’t even rank on these lists, which might suggest WoL/NPC ships are largely fulfilling that niche.

(Something something, FFXIV is a dating sim with combat, in this essay I will…. :P)

.

Anyway, WoL ships are nice, but what I actually wanted to write were NPC/NPC ships. So let’s add a bunch more excludes to the filtering… and…

Hm. That's interesting. There's a bunch of F/F ships that I know I’ve seen fic and art for that are missing from this list!

Out of curiosity, I did a few searches specifically on these missing pairings, in case they were so rarely tagged as purely F/F (or so commonly shipped alongside a WoL ship) that trying to find them via excludes didn’t work. These were:

Alisaie/Tesleen (20 total, 13 tagged F/F)

Krile/Tataru (14 total, 7 tagged F/F)

Ysayle/Heustienne (5 total, 5 tagged F/F)

Wuk Lamat/Sphene (4 total, 4 tagged as F/F)

[Note: The first number is what I used during the writing challenge last month… which is how I ended up putting Krile/Tataru over Lucia/Hilda. Oops! But the second number is more in line with the rest of the analysis here, so I will use that going forward.]

Seems my expectations were flat-out incorrect! Of these four, only Alisaie/Tesleen makes the top ten. Meanwhile Wuk Lamat/Sphene is a pairing consisting of very new characters... so perhaps it will grow over time!

Right then, let's add Alisaie/Tesleen in, and while we're at it, let's run direct searches on all the potential candidates rather than using excludes to ensure no fics are getting needlessly thrown out.

With those adjustments in place... I reached my final top ten!

Not bad! Predictably, pairings that get more focus in canon (Gaia/Ryne and Sadu/Cirina) tend to place high, as do pairings involving Y’shtola (since she’s a very popular character overall). 

As a Lyse-enjoyer, I found Lyse getting 3/10 spots on the list to be pretty funny, as was the heavy presence of Stormblood characters! Apparently I’m not the only one who thought StB was a good expansion for lesbians. :D

There are also a few pairings here that I hadn’t ever considered before doing this analysis. But hey, that was the point of making the list! And trying to figure out the dynamics for pairings I didn’t usually ship did indeed turn out to be a fun writing exercise last month.

So what do you all think, tumblr? Did the results surprise you like they did me? Or did I overlook a pairing that really deserved to be included?

In any case, I hope you enjoyed reading this analysis!

[cerberusxt]

How I paint things - Part 1

I often get asked what my painting process is, so I thought, why not use the fact that on Tumblr I’m not limited to a mere hundred character to try and explain as thoroughly as possible the way I do things ? That way, you might glean a few useful tips and tricks along the way.

But before I get started, a word of warning. What I will explain is a process that work for me, it might not fit your habits, or your enjoyment of the hobby, and that’s ok. My method isn’t better or worse than others, it’s just the one that served me the best up until now. That’s why, for each step and choices of said process, I will try and explain my reasoning, that way you will be able to assess if it’s a good fit for you or not, or if you can incorporate some elements of it into your process.

With all that out of the way…

Let’s get prepping !

I won’t go into details on the assembly process itself, or how to fill gaps and other build shenanigans, I mainly suck at it. Follow the assembly guide, don’t forget any mold lines, don’t forget any mold lines and you should be fine. Instead, my focus here will be on how I go about prepping subassemblies.

For those who don’t know, painting in subassemblies consist of painting your minis in separated parts before gluing them all back together at the very end. The main advantage is that it make painting most parts of the mini far easier, especially the one partially hidden by others. The main disadvantage is that it requires more prepping than normal and the "gluing back together" step can be a bit nerve wracking at time, with the constant fear of F-ing up your whole finished paint job.

But all in all, with practice, the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. In the long run, it will help you increase your paint job quality, so it’s well worth considering giving it a shot.

But how one go about it ?

Generally, if the model allows it, I break my model like this : 

Head

Arms (if the mini is holding a gun with both hands, I glue the gun to one of the arms, but still keep both arms separated because if you assemble both arm to the gun, you run the risk of them being misaligned to the torso once you glue them to it. When separated, you can still adjust things easily)

Body with the legs attached

Backpack

Cape, but only if I can subassemble it in a single piece, otherwise you run the risk of not shading or highlighting it consistently and that would be glaringly obvious once reassembled.

Base

That can change with vehicles, or if the mini is some weird tentacle monsters with 8 arms, but you get the idea.

Don’t go overboard with it though, if you paint every single part separated, you will have a hard time reassembling everything. The trick is to keep things balanced, that’s why I advise you to take the time to think a bit about the best way to subassemble your mini before jumping in and gluing stuff together, you will save time in the end.

Now, how to hold all this separate parts in a way that will allow you to paint them without having to put your greasy little fingers all over them ?

Here are the methods I use depending on the parts :

Method 1 - Small drill + Toothpick

Basically, I drill a small all in a part that will be hidden from view once reassembled, and I stick one pointy end of a toothpick in it. If the hole is long enough, the conic head of the toothpick will get stuck in it. If you can’t drill far enough due to the limited size of a part, you can also slightly cut the tip of the toothpick to help make it fit.

Advantage : No glue involved, meaning you limit massively any risks of f-ing things up.

Disadvantage : It can only work on part with enough plastic to be drilled without drilling to the other side.

Method 2 - Toothpick + superglue

When the part is too small to drill, just put a tiny bit of superglue at the end of a toothpick and glue the part to it. Try to choose an angle that will be hidden from view once reassemble (can sometime be harder than you think). Once finished, if you haven’t put too much superglue, you can pull the toothpick away. If some glue is left behind, you can scratch carefully with the side of an exacto knife.

Advantage : Work with any part of any size

Disadvantage : The superglue let some material on the plastic you will probably need to scratch away with an exacto knife, which can be dangerous for your paint job.

Method 3 - Spare base + superglue

That one work mostly for the body to allow painting the real base separately. You just add some glue under one of the feet (not the two if you can avoid it) and stick it on a spare base. Ideally a smaller base than the final one, letting you more easily work around the mini. Once finished, you just have to slightly push on the mini to break the superglue bond (putting the mini into the fridge can help if you have difficulty removing the part, the cold makes the superglue much more brittle).

Advantage : Make working on the final base much easier

Disadvantage : None I can think of, works like a charm every time, but can only be used for the main body. Arms, heads and the like can’t really stick on a base.

Method 4 – DIY handle + double-sided tape or blue tack

For all the parts that won’t work with the methods above, you have the nuclear option, consisting of using some kind of piece of wood (you can build a DIY handle by screwing two pieces of wood together in a T shape) and adding double-sided tape or some blue tack on it. Push the part you want to hold on it, and voilà. Can work well for big and flat parts, just be careful when you will have to paint the other side to stick it somewhere where you will have an easy time correcting any damage on the paint job.

Advantage : nuclear option that works with almost everything

Disadvantage : The tape / blue tack can damage the paint job depending on where you stick your part to it.

Examples with a big boy that couldn’t fit in my at the time too small handle :

And with a flag that can lay flat :

Once all your subassemblies are finished, one crucial final step remains : with some blue tack, you will mask the zones where you will glue your mini back together at the end of the painting process. That way, once your model has been primed, you will just have to remove the blue tack to show the bare plastic under.

Why bother with that step ? Because the plastic glue work badly over a primer. It doesn’t nullify entirely it’s effect, but it sure slows it, which can be a problem for some parts.

And in the cases where you forgot to add blue tack to some joints, a tip I use is to simply scratch a bit of the primer with an exacto knife to show the bare plastic underneath. Don’t overdo it though.

Once finished, stick all the toothpick into some cork, and you are good to go.

Behold the Grey Plastic Christmas Tree of Doom !!!

Next, it’s priming time !

[saintmeghanmarkle]

Pat McAfee on his ESPN talk show really sticks it to Harold for the Espy Award by u/Von_und_zu_

Pat McAfee on his ESPN talk show really sticks it to Harold for the Espy Award In case anyone still wonders what ordinary Americans think about Harold, here you go. Pat is a former NFL player and is, in my opinion, represents rather well the views of mainstream and everyday Americans. Link to the videohttps://www.dailymail.co.uk/video/sport/video-3221775/Video-McAfee-disapproves-Prince-Harry-receiving-Pat-Tilman-Award-ESPYS.html​https://preview.redd.it/t5bsu61cse9d1.png?width=1042&format=png&auto=webp&s=fac9c06059f9ddd092f97f82b665d747c025d7f9Here is the DM article that goes with it. https://ift.tt/ak4OWdt lot of conversation about Pat Tillman's name. American hero... Now there’s an award named after him, as there should be in the sports world because that is somebody who is the definition of selfless,' McAfee said at first. 'It's going to Prince Harry, who I don't even think is a prince anymore... He said don't call me that,' McAfee then quipped in a subtle dig at King Charles' estranged son, later adding: 'See, why does the ESPYS do this sh*t?'After 'Boston Connor' - a member of the cast on the Pat McAfee Show - described Prince Harry's nomination for the award as 'probably the most embarrassing thing I've seen in my entire life,' McAfee questioned whether the ESPY Awards' committee even did its homework on its candidate search in the first place.'When you do something like this, you know the immediate reaction from humans and sports fans and like people with common sense and brains is going to be like ''Hey, don't be putting our f***ing guy with that guy,' McAfee said before sharing his perception of Prince Harry, who founded The Invictus Games and served in the British Army.'I don't know anything about him except for the South Park episode and what I've learned from the Crown. 'But like did his people know like ''you publicly put me up for this award. You're just asking basically ever person that considers themselves American and saying ''this is bulls***'''. Especially at a sports award type of thing... I assume he knew that. They didn't expect that?'**A second member of McAfee's cast on-air - Ty Schmitt- also added fuel to the fire on Friday, calling the ESPYS Awards 'a gimmick.''It's like you couldn't find an active US military member or someone who can't serve anymore because of something they did while serving, Schmitt further said. 'There are probably hundreds, if not thousands of people who they could have found who could have benefitted from this award. But instead let's give it to Prince Harry...' Replying to his buddy's point McAfee suggested to just 'make up' an award for Prince Harry. 'How about it's like ESPY for royal family member who doesn't want to be called ''royal family member'' who loves sports,' he said.​ post link: https://ift.tt/IePjCU0 author: Von_und_zu_ submitted: June 29, 2024 at 02:59AM via SaintMeghanMarkle on Reddit disclaimer: all views + opinions expressed by the author of this post, as well as any comments and reblogs, are solely the author's own; they do not necessarily reflect the views of the administrator of this Tumblr blog. For entertainment only.

[ouroboros-hideout]

WIP WEDNESDAY

Got tagged my @theviridianbunny and some days ago by @dreamskug @therealnightcity and @aggravateddurian Thank you all chooms. Sorry, my social game is horrible but rly appreciate you're tagging me anyway 💚

I don't really have something new to show bc brain is strange these days. And 2024 so far presented me weird vibes only kinda. In addition the next two months will be a little stressfull aswell bc I'll be moving to a new place so I'll see how much time I have for the fun things.

But here are some WIP thoughts anyway.

Art

That f-ing Kurt drawing I started over a month ago needs the last finishng touches. By that I mean redrawing his face over and over again till my perfectionism is satisfied.

Here have a small detail. Tumblr compression will eat up all the textures anyway.

Still have that Witcher Cyberpunk Crossover next on my list but the urge to draw Aon became so strong the last days so probably will go for that.

Writing

Currently rotting on my 'Like Napalm' chapters. Will actually take some small timeline changes in the chapter that's already on AO3 bc the two ambassadors of Kurt x Myers (you know who you are) gaslighted me so hard into that ship that I will incorporate it in my fic. But it'll help to close the last plottholes I had so thanks frens.

VP

I rly want to do more photos cause it's a lot of fun but I am already putting so much work on myself lmao. Probably will be an occasional thing even if it seems you ppl really liked the pics I took. Still like the idea of making it a series and not just randomly doing some shots.

That's all for now. Would like to see what all of you are up to atm. But no pressure as always!

@blackrevell @olath124 @elvenbeard @pinkyjulien @wanderingaldecaldo @kharonion @bloodydragam @bumble-v @chevvy-yates

[h3artz4mikewheeler]

Intro post!

Basic info

⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅

My name is Audie

I go my any pronouns

I am unlabeled and gender-fluid

I’m mainly going to be posting edits and just random things I come up with.

I am a Minor, I don’t care how old you are just don’t be weird interacting with me

I’m a ao3 writer (ao3 linked at the end)

My dms r always open!!!

My main interests currently

⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅

Writing

Music

Reading

Playing guitar (acoustic and electric)

Taking photos

My favorite shows/movies

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Stranger things

The goldfinch

It

Shameless

South Park

The end of the f***ing world

I’m not okay with this

Brokeback mountain

Donnie Darko

Beautiful boy

The perks of being a wallflower

Thirteen

Call me by your name

Young Royals

Heartstopper

Gilmore Girls

My fav ships/duos

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Byler

Boreo

Lumax

Elmax

Elmike(both romantic and platonic THERE CUTE SOMTIMES BUT MOSTLU PLATONIC)

Byclair(platonic mostly)

Madwheeler(platonic)

Jack twist and Ennis Delmar

My favorite bands/artists

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

Alex g the cure

Free throw

Modern baseball

Lil peep

$uicide boy$

Vs self

La Dispute

The front bottoms

Midwest Pen Pals

Title fight

Pet symmetry

Whirr

My chemical romance

Falling in reverse

Pierce the veil

Get scared

Panic! At the disco

My other social medias

── ⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──

TikTok and insta : @/ h3artz4willbyers

Twitter : @/h3artz4willby3rs

2nd tumblr acc @ptvluverrr

Im most active on here&tumblr!!!!

Random facts

⋅ ⋅ ── ✩ ── ⋅ ⋅

I’m a ao3 writer that started off writing on wattpad (only stuff posted is my 2 ever fic that isn’t finshed and a chat fic from my ao3)

I am a huge reader and my favorite author currently is Kathleen Glasgow

Im a Major loser

I have an addiction to dying my hair (I’ve done almost every color in the rainbow just not orange)(currently pink!!!)

I’m emo/scemo

That’s all i can think about right now (I will probably update) byee!!!

[nimata-beroya]

🥤🐇🍄🌿 for the truth or dare writing ask game!

Thank you @kanerallels!!

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

Oof! This is tough and I'm sure I'm going to leave many talented people out bc I can never remember their Tumblr url even though I'm their avid reader on ao3 (I'm sorry!)

@seleneisrising @photogirl894 @airlockfailure @yukipri @takadasaiko @genericficerblog @mxtr3ssquickly @insertmeaningfulusername @fanfictasia @nobody-expects-the-inquisitorius @annwayne and of course, you!

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both? 

Original characters, for sure. I'm not fond of reader inserts, nothing against who write/read them, but it's not for me because they feel a bit gaslighting. The few occasions I dare to read them I always say "I wouldn't f*ing say/do that!", and I feel I have no right to force the reader to feel/say/do things they normally wouldn't. I know it's fiction, but I cannot connect with reader inserts, neither in reading nor writing.

But unlike insert readers, the possibilities with original characters is infinite and there's no one that can say that the OC wouldn't react this or that way except me! (When I'm writing them ofc) And I accept whatever the OC's reaction is when I'm reading it bc it is what it is. I have no base to refute it.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Kalluzeb when they get hurt: two sides of the same coin

Zeb goes berserk when Kallus is in danger. Any imperial in a mile radius of them will have a gruesome demise. It's a little scary to witness. But later, he calms down once they're safe and patches Kallus up with utmost care. Kallus gets often hurt, so Zeb is an expert by now.

On the other hand, if it Zeb who gets hurt during a mission, Kallus keeps his head cold and do what he needs to do to get Zeb out of there. He's methodical and pragmatic about it. But once they're safe, Kallus crumbles. He can't deal with Zeb hurt. It messes with his head.

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

I struggle with this myself, but sometimes I do things that help me

Take a break from writing (sometimes even a short break is enough, sometimes you need days or weeks. It's okay)

But during the before mentioned break (especially the long ones) you can do other things, get out of your comfort zone. Read something (your favorite book or something new), watch tv shows/movies in a different genre/fandom you're writing for. Do another type of art, listen to music, etc.

Brainstorm with someone else (or several others). This is VERY IMPORTANT. Sometimes what we need to get unstuck is voicing the problem. I'd say that 7 out of 10 times, you'll find the solution by yourself while explaining the other person. If not, then your friend(s) will give you one, or at least, spark your imagination by telling you the detail you were missing.

Remember that even just a sentence written is progress.

And, even if it's often discouraged by many writing advice lists, edit that last portion of what you wrote and don't be afraid to discard what doesn't work (but don't delete it. You can save that for another story or later on in the same fic you're working on.). Doing this, you can make the story flow easily again.

Send me one (or more) of these Writers Truth & Dare Asks!!

[sun-lit-roses]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

Thank you for the tags @curator-on-ao3 and @emonydeborah! I apologize for how long it's taken me to respond 💛

I'm so late to this, I have no idea who's already done it. If you haven't yet, please, please consider yourself tagged - and tag me in your response so that I can read your answers! (Actually if you have done it already, also link me so I can read your answers. These are fun questions with bonus fic recs so I'd like to see them all!)

Anyway, I got a little rambly, so I'll put in a cut to not murder anyone's dash 😁

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 82.

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 397,560.

3. What fandoms do you write for? I've been primarily writing Star Trek (Strange New Worlds and Voyager) lately, with a dash of The Librarians and Leverage.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Fringe Benefits (SNW) - My beloved monument to ridiculousness where I approach the totally canon subject of Chris Pike's horse skills via Number One's hair.

October 2373 (Voyager)- My magnum opus! The one time I've managed to achieve completion of an October prompt list - five of them. In one coherent (ish) fic. Granted, it did take me until December... but the point is that I finished it! It follows a very eventful and occasionally random month aboard the Starship Voyager, where they have to deal with imprisonment, alien attacks, diplomatic meetings, and Kathryn's inability to talk about her feelings.

For the Captain Who Has Everything: A Prixin Story (Voyager) - Look. You can't just give me three delightful misfits for ONLY ONE EPISODE and not expect me to adopt them as my own. SO this is what happened next for the little Good Shepherd flock, where 'what happened next' is shenanigans to set up their Captain with her First Officer as a gesture of gratitude.

Growing Pains (SNW) - Aw, one of my early Chris and Una fics! This is one of the set I wrote while the first season was just airing weekly - hard to believe that was almost two years ago 😲 This one was the aftermath of Una 'I'm just fine-ing' her way into emergency surgery and Chris letting her know that there were things up with which he would not put - top of the list being losing his Number One.

Command Advice (SNW) - Another of the early SNW set! This was my 'spicier' take on the resulting conversation between Chris and Una after she learns about her Where Fun Goes to Die nickname. In one version, they have a very serious conversation about Starfleet principles. In *this* version, they're less serious. Also naked.

5. Do you respond to comments? Yes! Or at least I try. I love and cherish every comment, but I tend to run (very) behind on responding and have to play the game of 'is it weird to reply to a comment this late?'

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? My very first fic ever! Actually I think it might be my only fic with an angsty ending. I guess I got it all out of my system early. That one is Wednesday, a Sanctuary fic where Helen has a very sad day.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Literally everything else. I can't even pick out of my collection of sappiness.

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yes, there's very little I would not be willing to at least try writing! Up to now I think I've written at least mildly smutty M/F, F/F, and F/M/M sexcapades and/or BDSM. I'm working my way around to some F/F/M for SNW if I could get the three of them to cooperate.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? I think I've only written one crossover and it was for SNW/The Librarians, bringing about a meeting between Eve Baird and Una Chin-Riley, which we would have in a fair and just universe.

Wait, I take that back! I also had a little snippet on Tumblr where Hawkeye, BJ, Jonathan, and Ardeth meet up, because The Mummy/MASH is... certainly a combo. Actually, I think I also had a snippet of Gomez Addams meeting Hawkeye and BJ? What is it about MASH?

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Also not that I know of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Kind of? The Discord crowdsourced the plot to a ridiculously hilarious fic and I wrote a bit of it for fun, but I'm not sure if that counts? Co-writing does sound like a good time, though!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? Voyager! The happiest little ship in the Delta Quadrant 🚀

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I have a lot of bits and pieces on my hard drive that will never be finished and released into the Ao3 wilds - the plot didn't work out/was barely a plot, I've moved on from the fandom, I was trapped in a fever dream of my nieces playing Frozen on repeat, blacked out, and woke up to 3 chapters dealing with the socio-political ramifications of Elsa decamping and Anna appointing the prince of another land in charge rather than Arendelle's Privy Council. Anyway.

The WIPs I have posted, though, I fully intend to finish at some point! It may take a while and it might not be my original planned ending, but they haunt me. So one day I will have to put them to rest. Possibly with a 2x4, tarp, and shovel.

16. What are your writing strengths? I like to think I'm pretty good at getting into the character's voice. I hope so, at least; I spend a lot of time on it! Also, humor, although that one is objective, of course.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Commas. Clearly.

Structurally, it varies per fic, but I have a habit of running thin on plot. I start strong at A, want to get to B, but the middle gets kind of wander-y. This also leads to me sometimes stalling mid-project if I get distracted or pulled away - hence my current three WIPs. Though it doesn't help that the past six months have sucked on letting me have much free time.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? If it was short, easy dialogue in Spanish or French I might be able to swing it. Otherwise, I would need to phone a friend.

19. First fandom you wrote for? Sanctuary!

20. Favorite fic you’ve written? This is a hard one. I love them all for different reasons, some of which have more to do with the time I was writing them than with the actual contents. Reluctance was my first multi-chapter fic ever back in the FFN days, so that seems like a pretty good candidate. I learned so much while writing that fic!

[anotheruserwithnoname]

Time to wax poetic about Philomena Cunk again; or, why Diane Morgan should win the BAFTA

It’s been a couple of weeks since I waxed poetic about Philomena Cunk. It’s a shame no one has (yet) really done any highlight videos featuring her amazing 4-minute monologue giving her warped view of life in a medieval castle. It’s in episode 2 of Cunk on Earth and it’s why Diane Morgan will win the Best Comedy Actress BAFTA (or at least should).

I have already established a headcanon that Philomena is a failed Time Lord who has a thing for Pump Up the Jam (those who know, know - and be thankful i didn’t include the Tumblr gif I found from the music video because it’s f---ing annoying). This is the sequence that inspired me to write Cunk on Time, my first new Doctor Who fanfic in nearly a year featuring the first Saddlemanverse appearance of Cunk in a Twelfth Doctor story. (And yes you just witnessed the first acknowledgement of a shared universe for my fanfics. Why not?). I’ve heard people say they’d like to see Diane play the Doctor. But she’d be better as a standalone character. Preferably Philomena Cunk, failed Time Lord-turned-BBC historian. Though Iris Wildthyme would be interesting. If nothing else, she has the whole Time Lord dress sense down pat.

I’m in the process of reading Cunk on Everything, the first Philomena Cunk book. I want to see a BBC miniseries about the famous early English king named Harold the Shit and have a weird urge to see the movie Big Momma’s House.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

Can you believe that for some people Kakashi sucks as a character since according to them the two most famous things about him are that he reads erotic books in front of kids and that whenever he fights he gets cooked?

I'm telling you this because it really surprised me that someone who has seen Naruto thinks that about him, as if he were nothing more than the books and his fights, someone without development or story. It also bothers me that they say those things about him because yes, he reads those types of books but he doesn't harm anyone and on top of that he reads for himself, he's not like Jiraiya who let Naruto read his manuscripts. And also because he ONLY lost two fights (against powerful people, not random people)

Kakashi reads one type of erotica, which is Jiraiya’s books and he has stated he reads it for the plot so i don’t know why people continue to act like he’s some perv on the same level as Ebisu (has nude magazines) or Jiraiya (Objectifies women, creepy)

Like it’s just one book. Are we gonna start calling everyone who admits to reading porn in public (probably 85% of Tumblr) pervs now???

I will clerify, jiraiya didn’t ‘let’ naruto read those books/proof read them. He kinda forced it on him. Naruto very clearly wasn’t interested/didn’t care and generally doesn’t like reading and when we see him doing it Jiraiya woke him up to get him to read them. Like he shoved it in Naruto’s face and said ‘proof read for me!’

Also so many character’s lost all their fights or won 1 fight and then lost every other fight and never get this kinda shit

We never actually see Jiraiya win a fight, since Orochimaru and Itachi peaced out, and he got OWNED by Pein yet people still think he’s one of the strongest shinobi ever and don’t use his lose against him

Hiruzen very clearly only had one on screen fight and had to use a sacrifice play that only took Orochimaru’s arms, and people still treat him like he’s super strong

Tsunade never even got a major fight, Naruto overshadowed her in the one major fight we see her in against Orochimaru and Kabuto, and no one is calling her weak

Sasuke got his butt handed to him in more fights than Kakashi ever did, but he’s one of the two strongest shinobi in the world so ofc no one doubts his power

What is it about Kakashi where people see him lose two fights

1) where he made a mistake of looking in Itachi’s eyes and which we get to see him make up for the next time they meet

2) against a f***ing god tier shinobi that he still almost managed to outsmart with Choji and Choza’s help and destroy the main pein body of

And start treating him like he’s some weakling?

He ran circles around Zabuza and straight up states he let Zabuza hit him as much as he did so he ‘stunk’ (aka was drenched in blood for the hounds to find). Zabuza survived because of Haku

Kakuzu had FIVE hearts and destroying two in one swoop took Naruto out of the fight, but Kakashi fought against him longer, protected team ten, and was running circles around hidan who couldn’t even get a small cut on Kakashi (which was all he needed to win the fight)

Him and Gai destroyed the Seven deadly swordsmen who are recognized as being some of the strongest shinobi

Obito had all of the hax and skill wise was still just on par with Kakashi who has zero hax (you can’t count the sharingan cuz it drains his chakra so even though it gives him uchiha specific abilities it also harms him to use)

Put him against any normal level shinobi he’s owning them without breaking a sweat, and even against elite shinobi he’s kicking ass

Put him against a god tier shinobi like pein, or a haxed out shinobi like Obito, and he’s still putting up a fight. Even when Pein win’s it was not easily and Kakashi made it very clear he was not to be taken lightly.

People really took this complex amazing character and dumbed him down to the two stupidest traits

Like they’re ignoring so much about him

His trauma which causes him to be both very flawed but also very protective

His journey through life thinking it was his duty to die for his village, only to live through a war and reach retirement with his best friend after years of thinking he was just fooder for the military machine

The closure he gets with Obito and Rin’s death

His goofy nature

His kindness, to the point where he continues the land of waves mission even though they’re not getting the appropriate pay for the level because he recognizes it’s the right thing to do

The small ways in which we see him grow. Like he told Sasuke to give up on revenge and Sasuke left (Kakashi doesn’t know exactly why he left, so it’s possible he fully blames himself) and then when Team Ten is going out to do the same instead of deterring them he helps them because he realizes they’re going to go regardless of if they have permission. That’s what sasuke did. At least if he goes with them he can try and make sure they don’t die (which we see him do in the fight)

There’s so much to Kakashi and people who dumb him down to what he reads and the entire two fights he lost are honestly really pathetic. You don’t have to like him but don’t act like he’s not a complex interesting character people enjoy for valid reasons

[narcosfandomdiscord]

Narcovember Masterlist

As mentioned in the OG event post, bc tumblr caps a post at 50 hyperlinks and tagging a blog creates an additional hyperlink, we’ll be crediting writers by including their tumblr handle without @-ing them for now. So there’ll only a link to the fic. HOWMever at the end of the event, there will be another masterlist of every writer who participated throughout the month so their blogs and other fanworks can be found :)

Day 1

Flying In (Chapter 3) | Mayans MC/Narcos Crossover ft OC Lara Losa | 1 - Book of Genesis (by drabbles-mc)

One Good Thing | The Last of Us - Tess/Joel | 24 - Book of Revelations (by our-future-is-up-to-us-2)

Wise People | Narcos - Horacio Carrillo/OC Kiara Nash | 12 - Book of Balancing In Between (by proceduralpassion)

Day 2

Desperate | Sons of Anarchy - Jax Teller & OC Claire Morrow | 13 - Book of In Urgent Need of Assistance (drabbles-mc)

Whispers of the Nile | FBI - OA Zidan/Tiffany Wallace | 7 - Book of Time Travel (proceduralpassion)

Score! | Ted Lasso - Ted Lasso & Trent Crimm | 15 - Book of How tf Did We Get Here (our-future-is-up-to-us-2)

Day 3

Missed It | TG Maverick - Bradley "Rooster Bradshaw/Reader | 26 - Book of Abduction (drabbles-mc)

It's Me and You, Forever | Narcos - Steve/Connie Murphy | 2 - Book of Fuck-ups (proceduralpassion)

I'll Think of You | Narcos Mexico - Walt Breslin & Pablo Acosta | 25 - Book of Reciprocity (our-future-is-up-to-us-2)

Day 4

Untouchable | Sons of Anarchy - Herman Kozik/OC Tawnie Trager | 23 - Book of Just Chaos (drabbles-mc)

Go To Sleep, And Dream of Pain | Little Shop of Horrors - Seymour Krelborn & Audrey II | 21 - Book of Nerves of Steel (our-future-is-up-to-us-2)

Day 5

Here On Out | Bikeriders - Benny/Kathy Cross | 8 - Book of These Damn Restraints (drabbles-mc)

Strangers To Friends, Friends Into Lovers, And Strangers Again | Good Omens - Aziraphale/Crowley | 30 - Book of There's No Place Like... (our-future-is-up-to-us-2)

Day 6

Hell-Bent | Ted Lasso - Rebecca Welton & Leslie Higgins | 21 - Book of Nepo-Baby Levels of Incompetence (our-future-is-up-to-us-2)

Day 7

Float | Narcos: Mexico - Amado Carrillo Fuentes/Marisol | 2 - Book of Fuck-Ups (our-future-is-up-to-us-2)

Day 8

The Jackal | The Day of the Jackal - Charles "The Jackal"/Nuria | 11 - Book of Pit Stops (our-future-is-up-to-us-2)

Day 9

Casual (AO3 only) | Narcos - Amado Carrillo Fuentes/Pacho Herrera | 3 - Day of Stuff That Goes in the Junk Drawer (anonymous)

Vulnerable | Lempicka - Tamara de Lempicka/Rafaela | 27 - Book of Caretaking (our-future-is-up-to-us-2)

Day 10

In A Sky Full of Stars | Before Your Eyes - Benjamin Brynn/Chloe | 7 - Book of Time Travel (our-future-is-up-to-us-2)

Day 11

Just Like Old Times | Top Gun Maverick - Jake "Hangman" Seresin/F!Reader | 17 - Book of Inception (drabbles-mc)

Day 12

Perspective | Mayans MC - Bishop Losa/F!Reader | 12 - Book of Balancing In Between (drabbles-mc)

Day 13

Until the Day You Don't Come Back | Narcos: Mexico - Andrea Nuñez & David Barrón | 14 - Book of Decisions, Decisions, Decisions (hausofmamadas)