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washymylifeaway · 4 years ago

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SakuAtsu Fanfic recs pt2 leggo

I promised a pt 2 and here it is! Link to pt 1 here :) I was lazy so given summaries (I cped this time, but in the future I might paraphrase), and ofc these aren’t all of the ones I loved, just some :D So in no particular order, have some SakuAtsu <3

As always, pls check WARNINGS, TAGS, and SUMMARIES for fics before reading (esp cause I didn’t put individual warnings PLEASE make sure you’re okay with the content!!!!!!) and make sure you’re taking care of yourselves (since mental health is key!) Stay healthy loves <3

Teach Me, Tune Me, Tempt Me by Anonymous (E) 38.8k // Sakusa Kiyoomi needs to conquer many lifelong fears in order to enter his first romantic relationship. Miya Atsumu is there to guide him every step of the way, even if the one Sakusa desires is someone else.

Flowers Bloom In Our Masks by UnicornFlowers (G) 24.5k // "Mysophobia, also known as verminophobia, germophobia, germaphobia, bacillophobia and bacteriophobia, is a pathological fear of contamination and germs." "You read that off of Wikipedia." "That's the point, Omi-kun. I read up on it fer you."

the art of folding a handkerchief by Emlee_J (T) 5.6k // “Atsumu-san’s just realised he likes Sakusa-san,” Shouyou says simply, as though announcing the weather. “Ahh,” Bokuto nods sagely, standing up straight and nodding his head, as though this was a perfectly normal thing to hear and not monumental in any way. “'Ahh?'” Atsumu protests, indignantly, ��what do ya mean ‘ahh?’” “We were wondering when you were going to notice,” Bokuto shrugs, and Atsumu gawps at him. “'Scuse me?” He splutters, and whips his gaze around to Shouyou, who bobs his head at him in confirmation. “How did you two notice before I did?” Atsumu blurts out. "Most people do," Shouyou says softly. -In which Atsumu develops something annoying, like feelings for a teammate, but at least he has a couple of wingmen and Tobio's seemingly infinite resources to help him out.

for whom the heart beats by cielelyse (T) 1.6k // Atsumu's heart keeps skipping a beat whenever Sakusa's around - so often that it's baffling and honestly downright concerning. "I think I might have a medical condition," he says into the phone. "Good," says Osamu, and hangs up.

as you are by papertulips (G) 5.8k // Kiyoomi learns that falling for Atsumu is the easiest thing in the world.

Hide and seek by badreputation (E) 10.5k // It’s just a fleeting infatuation. As long as he pushes through it he’ll manage. So what if nowadays there isn’t a night where he doesn’t dream of Sakusa pinning him down on his own bed, in the shower or make Atsumu go down on his knees in the hallway? Those are just pesky details.

People Will Say We're in Love by tirralirra (T) 9.5k // “Saku...Atsu? What does that even mean?” Atsumu says, squinting at the device. People seem to think that Sakusa and Atsumu are in love, so they come up with a list of things to do to deter that. Maybe it would work...if they weren’t in love.

do not separate! by aalphard (T) 5k // He knows he likes peanut butter and the tuna onigiri Uncle Shamu makes for him. He knows he likes volleyball and the way his daddy looks so, so cool when he’s on court. He knows he likes drawing and playing with toy swords. He knows he likes reading and it’s even better when Atsumu is the one reading for him. He knows he likes to have pancakes in the morning but he also really, really likes tamagoyaki and he knows his daddy can’t make those at all. He tries, but fails every single time. He knows his daddy’s teammates like him and he knows they’ll help him if he wants to play with them one day. But the thing is he likes Uncle Omi-kun more than he likes the rest of them and that is a secret he won’t tell anyone that’s not his daddy. He doesn’t like to make people sad.“Omi?” “Yeah?” “Nao said he likes you more than he likes the rest of the team. Don’t tell’em.” or atsumu is a single dad and kiyoomi can't help but fall for him.

you make my heart burn by myhopeisjhope (G) 9.2k // “What’s up with that awful expression?” Atsumu asked. He leaned against the counter with his hip, looking directly at Kiyoomi, his regular fox-line grin plastered on his face. Kiyoomi made eye-contact with him then, his eyebrows knotting in annoyance, but Atsumu was too interested in the cute pair of beauty marks above Kiyoomi’s eye to care about the glare that was sent his way. “What’s up with that awful hair?” Kiyoomi shot back. And that was exactly when Atsumu decided he liked the guy.

somewhere in the middle (i think we lied a little) by akanemnida (E) 4.3k // “Body worship,” Miya said instantly, after Kiyoomi asked him what he wanted as reward as the winner of their service ace competition. “I can do that,” Kiyoomi said with a frown. “God, you really are the vainest person on this planet—”Miya shook his head, smirking. “Nuh-uh, Omi-kun. I meant I wanted ‘ta worship ‘ya.”(Or: Sakusa and Atsumu and all the blurred lines in between.)

san'yō expressway, 6:17 pm by yamabato (T) 8.1k // Atsumu tilts his head to watch a slice of orange light bend over the impassive planes of Sakusa’s face. He is absolutely, ruthlessly beautiful. It makes Atsumu want to punch something—put his foot through the windshield—scream, maybe. Kiss him again, maybe. They have 344 kilometers to figure this one out.

affection by papertulips (G) 2.1k // "I gave you the key to my house for emergencies only." “This is an emergency.” “What?” Atsumu pouts, looking up at him with wide eyes that definitely work on Kiyoomi but he will never admit it. “I missed you.”

love could be labeled poison and we'd drink it anyways by myhopeisjhope (NR) 21.3k // "Huh?" is Atsumu's response, and it's seemingly the only thing the man could think of after the minute-long silence that stretched between them. "We should break up," Kiyoomi repeats, more clearly now. He doesn't let any emotion seep into his voice, keeping it neutral and detached, as if breaking up with Atsumu was the easiest thing ever, while in fact it's the complete opposite.

And I'll Ask for the Sea by meeks00 (T) 6.9k // When a couple of his teammates reveal that Atsumu has feelings for him, Sakusa doesn’t react well. It doesn’t help that Atsumu is his typical petty and salty self. --“Come on,” Atsumu is saying in a wheedling tone behind a bright grin. “Just stop,” Sakusa snaps suddenly. “Will you just leave me alone for once? I don’t even like you!”Normally, Sakusa’s words don’t phase Atsumu at all. He’ll talk over Sakusa or brush off any harsh words easily enough and might turn to someone else for the attention he apparently craves. But this time, Sakusa’s words seem to stop him cold, the smile freezing for just a moment on his face.

the Definition of Miya Atsumu, by Sakusa Kiyoomi by orphan_account (G) 4k // Miya Atsumu is a self-centred prick who thinks he's top shit. Underneath the word 'asshole' in the dictionary is a picture of his stupidly pretty face. Sakusa Kiyoomi's definition is, according to him, 100% correct, until he takes a closer look.

i’ll do anything you say (if you say it with your hands) by liliapocalypse (T) 7.6k // Seeing Sakusa stressed out, Atsumu writes random letters on Sakusa’s skin to soothe him during the team’s assisted stretches. Somewhere along the way, the touches shift from barely tolerable to something Sakusa actively craved for. One day, though, Atsumu accidentally writes a confession instead.

it ain't no matter of 'if' honey, it's just a matter of 'when' by irleggsy (M) 2.1k // With a beer in one hand and an accusatory pointer finger on the other, Sakusa slurred, shouted even, “Atsumu. If you wear those godforsaken cutoff camo jorts one more fucking time I’m breaking up with you.”Atsumu made a noise in his throat caught somewhere between a wheeze and a squawk that came out more of an avant-garde honk noise than anything else. He stared up at Sakusa with wide eyes, a bewildered smile just barely glued onto his face. Or: The MSBY Black Jackals go to a bar. Sakusa likes to run his mouth when he's drunk.

dog eat dog eat dog world by perennials (T) 8.4k // You are your first and only line of defense against the universe.

Who Could Have Seen This Coming? by crone_zone (M) 16.7k // Peering out the side of his eyes at the man walking beside him, Sakusa wondered why he’d impulsively changed his mind about his plans this evening when he’d noticed Miya’s reluctance. Surely he wasn’t worried about this asshole, was he?--In which Sakusa impulsively invites Atsumu over to his apartment when he sees he's upset and something entirely unexpected happens: he realizes he likes this asshole. Cue [off-camera]sex, mutual confessions, insecurity, and adorable losers who are opposite in all the right ways.

Miya Atsumu's unwavering love for Sakusa Kiyoomi and an unholy amount of terrible food analogies that should not have the right to Exist by aiviloti (G) 5.6k // Five times Miya Atsumu talks to (harasses) his friends and sibling because he has feelings for Sakusa and doesn't know what to do or how to deal with them and the one time he talks to Sakusa about it. “How do you make friends apart from showering them in praise?” Atsumu wails one night, and Osamu thinks, oh god, here we go again.

Sakusa's Secret Admirer by TwilaFrost (T) 20.2k // Every day after practice, Kiyoomi finds another letter inside his shoe locker. It's only every signed: -❤ He's determined to find this person. Is it crazy to fall in love with someone you've never met?

take what's yours and make it mine by claudusdiei (T) 5.9k // (this has a second fic hehe) atsumu falls in love four times in his life (or: in which atsumu gets his heart broken twice, has the self-awareness of a sober mule and really likes yellow tulips)

School Bus Yellow by yuuki (G) 4.9k // Atsumu has a crush on Sakusa, and it’s kind of ridiculous how much he likes a guy who wears ugly colored jackets and is afraid of germs.Though, Atsumu’s probably not all that great himself. He’s still figuring that part out.

show me how by emeraldpalace (G) 2.9k // Sakusa isn’t sure when or how it happened, but the fact remains: Miya Atsumu has become a comfortable constant in his life.

touch me (i want you to) by melstar (G) 3.9k // He should have seen it coming, really. Spend six months tip-toeing around the line of domesticity with the team’s resident germaphobe, and there was no way he’d be able to think of the guy the same way anymore. Or, Atsumu touches Sakusa's arm once and thus begins a downward spiral into the inescapable jaws of attraction.

Dreaming of You, Talking About You by kitkatwrites (T) 1.1k // Osamu learns that Atsumu talks in his sleep, especially about a certain wing spiker from Tokyo.

If your world falls apart, I'd start a riot by Serendipity (jenjaemrens) (NR) 3.1k // "It was Atsumu who was the older brother, but it was Osamu who was more protective of him. He would always protect Atsumu from things around them that could hurt him. "Or, the story of Sakusa Kiyoomi and Miya Atsumu through the eyes of Miya Osamu.

but soft what light by min_mintobe (T) 2.1k // "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day, Bokkun—" Atsumu drawls, "—hot. "In which Miya Atsumu woos Sakusa Kiyoomi by (gratuitously, seductively) quoting Shakespeare. One-shot.

sakusa kiyoomi's fixation on (miya atsumu's) lips by catsoncocaine (E) 3.7k // Everything about Atsumu is fucking beautiful, but there is one specific part of his that is like kryptonite for Kiyoomi. It is both his curse and his remedy, rendering him useless and yet egging him on to move at the same time. Kiyoomi hates it as much as he loves it.

The Jacket In Your Closet by dai_naning (T) 8.6k // According to the gossiping players around him, Miya Atsumu is an asshole. He's an incredible player in court and an obnoxious person off the court. He taunts people, points out their weakness, and doesn't give a shit if he's disliked or not. Some even say his teammates ostracize him. Sakusa looks at Miya Atsumu and can only see a player who keeps his eyes firmly forward, demanding the same to the players who want to stay on the court. Sakusa can't fault him for that. (That doesn't erase the fact that he's an asshole though. And that he's still the one who gave a jacket to a stranger.)

sakusa kiyoomi is....an uncle? by miyaudrey (T) 5.9k // “Oh, by the way, my nieces and nephews are going to be there.” “Your what now?” Or, Atsumu finds out three hours prior to a Sakusa family gathering that Kiyoomi is an uncle.

Confessions of a V-League Setter by Anubis_2701 (T) 3.3k // "Never?" Sakusa's lips thinned. "No, never. Now stop talking to me." Or, Atsumu discovers that Sakusa Kiyoomi, germaphobe and reluctant heartthrob of the Black Jackals, has never been confessed to before. He decides to change that.

Touch Me by cajynn (E) 3k // Sakusa actually likes being touched but he's very picky when it comes to who and how. When the who turns out to be Miya Atsumu he has a crisis.

Please Stop Crying by dauwtrappen (G) 2.9k // Friday starts off well until it doesn’t and Kiyoomi can hear something crash, feel something snap inside him when Miya, about to set him up for a quick attack, suddenly starts crying in the middle of their three-on-three. Kiyoomi doesn’t even react when the ball bounces off his head, doesn’t cringe when his face is smushed against the net briefly because he forgets to land in front of the it. He’s too shocked, too appalled with the tears pouring out from Miya’s eyes to care.

I can't take much more of your hesitating by playexodus (T) 2.7k // The curved sides of Atsumu’s pecs peek through that absurd tank top at just the right angle. Sakusa swallows. “Your entire chest is hanging out of that shirt. We’re in public. You could at least pretend to be a decent, morally upright person. Not to mention that this Los Angeles beach boy aesthetic is terrible on you.”Glancing back down at Atsumu’s chest to glare at his sharp, glistening collarbones is a bad idea. Sakusa wills his eyes to stay fixated on Atsumu’s face. As it turns out, this too, is a bad idea. “Oh?” Atsumu turns his half-lidded gaze onto Sakusa, the corners of his mouth curling. “Just to be clear: you’re definitely not enjoying the view then, Omi-Omi?”

curse breaking by allicanseeispink (T) 9.2k // Nearing the fourth hour of the silent treatment, Kiyoomi’s already frayed nerves began to whittle down to their last fibers. Today, it was raining. A proper Tokyo monsoon tantrum just shy of a full-blown typhoon that left puddles on sidewalks and fell from an angle so wicked it eluded umbrellas. It was raining and they haven’t spoken in almost four hours. (In which Sakusa wanders into the minefield that is Atsumu's feelings and tries not to blow things up.)

Summer Special: Omigiri by mika60 (T) 6.9k // Miya Osamu always comes up with the perfect marketing plan for his shop, even if it involves the two biggest idiots he knows.

a list of things sakusa kiyoomi hates by BrenH (T) 7.3k // “Just fuckin’ write shit down so ya remember it then. ”It was probably supposed to be a joke, just Osamu being as annoying and unhelpful as always, just reminding him that he shouldn’t have bothered trying to count on his brother for help. He’s forgotten about the whole thing until a few days later when he’s shopping and comes across a small, black notebook shaped like a cat, and his brother’s stupid suggestion flashes through his mind. Before he knows it, the cute little notebook is dropped in his basket, purchased, and in his possession. Or, the one where Osamu suggests Atsumu keep a notebook to track all the things Sakusa hates that he does, and he takes it further than he means to.

A Challenge, A Cat, and A Confession by Kitaa (G) 6.2k // Atsumu enjoys bothering Sakusa. One day he bothers him enough to be invited over to his apartment, only to discover that Sakusa has a plant, a cat, and a cute laugh.

Multiples Of Two by yuuki (G) 3.3k // He does everything in multiples of two. The day Sakusa Kiyoomi died, Atsumu checked his pulse twenty-eight times. Okay, so Sakusa Kiyoomi has never died. And Atsumu has never been close enough to Sakusa to be able to check his pulse. So what if Atsumu is just being dramatic again? He’s allowed to be dramatic when he’s in love with a man who has less emotion than a rock.

gold rush by sketchedsmiles (T) 18k // When the MSBY Black Jackals sign their newest team member, Sakusa Kiyoomi, Atsumu makes it his personal responsibility to befriend the indifferent player.

got sand in my eyes (and my shorts too, damn you miya) by luxnoctre (T) 4.7k // On one of their rare rest days, Hinata takes the part of the MSBY team to the beach. Chaos ensures. (or alternatively, do not piss off Sakusa when he is in the middle of relaxing)

mortality is found in the flesh of your sins by citronnes (M) 10.6k // dickhead one, sakusa kiyoomi. dickhead two, miya atsumu. neither understand how to communicate. Pray tell, why are you drawn to him?Are you drawn to him in the way he looks beautiful even when crying? When his eyes are red, shiny tears streaking down, lips quivering, is he beautiful?

This was v long ahahaha.... Anyway, is this finished? No LOL, but I’ll just make small additions via reblogs (?) over time. Maybe :) Sorry if you wanted me to ramble on about SakuAtsu,,,, slide into my messages/asks for that LOL. Maybe over time I’ll add the commentary from other posts I make in the future :’)

#sakuatsu #haikyuu fanfic rec #haikyuu fic recs #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #hq fic rec #anime #manga #sakuatsu fic recs #i'm a lazy person #also if you saw me saying i was gonna post kyouhaba #no you didnt #like i just said #lazy #there are a lot of fics in that one #anyway #all of these are really good #like i couldnt not put them all #ya know?

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barbika1508 · 5 years ago

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Hiwaga (Vampire! Jeongguk x Reader)

Part 3

Words: 13,9k

Genre: Soulmate AU, Reincarnation AU, Enemies to Lovers, Action, Romance, Smut

Pairing: Vampire! Jeongguk x Reader

Warnings: Angst, Gore and Blood, Beheading - Violence, Fighting, Death

Summary: Life was good, playing out better than it has been ever before. My future was bright and full of promises and wishes coming to realization. All up until she showed up. She stormed though the front doors ruining everything along the way by her mere presence derailing my goals and purpose in life. A puny mortal, a child, a complete nuisance, and yet…The key to an unimaginable life, to the truth all along.

Author's note: Hiwaga – mystery; full of wonder Words in italics are dialogues or thoughts that Jeongguk reads from others. Dictionary is down bellow if anyone is interested by certian words Appearance of Monsta x, K.A.R.D., Got7

Jeongguk’s POV:

‘’Well isn’t this very ominous. Not a vibe.’’

A deep sigh follows ‘’Can you stop with the vibe meme thing?’’ curiously I glance towards Yoongi hyung who is for the first time actually looking annoyed by the human’s behaviour. I’ve always expected her to act as she is right now actually, having been laughing and joking around with Jimin and Hobi hyung not even 5 minutes ago, the three of them watching a comedy special. I did join them mid-way having gotten used to her less now bothersome laughter, that I think I can pick up on from anywhere in the house.

But this is the first time that hyung - who showed favouritism and defended her even when she was acting like a complete brat – is actually annoyed. Glancing at my brothers they’re all looking grim the situation demanding us all to behave accordingly and serious. But looking at the girl she keeps on a bright grin having arrived last – human’s bodies are useless, having to eat, sleep and go to bathrooms is just time consuming and at have inappropriate timings too.

She raises her hands up in surrender lips going into a thin line in an attempt to stop smiling.

I hold back the eyeroll in favour of focusing onto the meeting instead – and acting accordingly. I’m standing near the corner of the table, with Yoongi hyung standing on my left in the middle of it and Taehyung having staked claim to stand on his left side. Jin stands at the head of the table, the human opposite of him clearly missing the whole point as she loudly tugs out the heavy wooden chair having clearly underestimated its weight as it rattles against the ground loudly. She does have some decency and blushes but makes quick progress of sitting herself down, not making any extra noises after that. Across us are Hoseok hyung, Namjoon is in the middle with scrolls stacked before him and his notebook that’s scribbled to the brim it looks like. Jimin hyung is next to him standing relatively serious, hair looking brightly neon orange as he re-dyed it yesterday.

The table the last time I saw it was a chaotic mess of stacked books, papers and random things strewn around it like cups, scattered pencils and so on. The library reflected the chaos the last time I’ve helped Y/N moving things around, and sort of cleaned piles of books she’s gotten out carelessly…okay we’ve gotten preoccupied discussing Overwatch strategy, and talking about music and filming things in general. It was odd to find her interests being so similar to my own and her actual knowledge at some points that greatly preceded my knowledge.

Back to the matter at hand – the library was put back in place. I know it was dusted and whipped down as the smell of a wood cleaner is present and lingering in the air. The table has improved as well containing much less contents and miscellaneous items, while books and like I’ve mentioned some scrolls remain. But the topic of our sudden meeting is the purple and golden detailed piece of folded paper that has been placed in the middle of the table. It’s staring at us menacingly in a way.

‘’We’ve all been graciously invited to the Crown Prince’s ball, as you might have guessed yourselves from the bold invitation that was sent to us.’’ Jin hyung starts standing straight but has both hands placed onto the table ‘’Its due to happen in South Chungcheong Province. 3 days from now.’’

At the human’s obvious movement, my eyes almost automatically dart down as I watch her sort of crawl over the table, hand reaching for the letter. Nobody stops her to my surprise as she snatches it and backs into her seat, her lazy-like manner now gone as she sits straightened up eyebrows furrowed as her eyes dart over the paper, examining it all around.

‘’That’s a very short notice isn’t it? Unorthodox.’’ Hoseok murmurs standing with one arm crossed over his chest while the other resting atop of it, as he’s propping his head with his hand looking lost in thought.

‘’Doesn’t it usually take a week for the word to get out?’’ Jimin asks eyes focused on Taehyung who is nodding, and shifts onto his left foot.

‘’I’ve already asked around, but judging by the tone of the messages the lower tier covens and some individuals weren’t invited.’’ He explains the whole circumstance suspicious making my stomach churn which in usual settings wouldn’t be even a bother ‘’They laughed at the mere location when I mentioned it more to detail.’’

‘’Well they all have good reason to!’’ Jimin states ‘’It’s very unconventional of Wangja to organize anything in a smaller city as Nonsan is!’’

I simply nod in confirmation not having much to say about the matter. I’ve found it’s usually best to listen to Namjoon and Yoongi hyung who always know the ins and outs on any sort of manner. Crossing my arms, I shift on my legs out of habit to look more human than for convenience.

‘’The Prince has some ties to that province.’’ Namjoon hyung starts ‘’I’m sure he has bought out a business there, farms of strawberries or rice. But I doubt that’s the reason that he wants to brag about.’’ He looks at Yoongi hyung who has his eyes averted. I try following his eye line and at what he’s staring at – a pile of books? But as I narrow my eyes, I do get an inkling of which books he’s interested in. The golden one.

‘’Nonsan you say?’’ Y/N says for the first time in a while. She has slumped back into the chair, holding open the invitation one hand propped on the table the other one sort of wrapped around herself. Silly human, even though we’re going through summer in the midst of it, this mansion is big and luxurious, the marble providing coldness rather than containing heat. So, it can get cold for the human if she’s underdressed, the night providing more of the difference in temperature than day. And currently it is night-time.

‘’Modern equivalent of what used to be Deogeun and Hwangsan.’’ Yoongi speaks up gently, his eyes like a hawk watching the mortal, as she places the invitation onto the table atop of papers carelessly. She meets hyung’s eyes briefly, both of her hands sort of hugging herself, the white spotted blouse she has on clearly not providing enough heat. She’s sort of in a business attire today, the pants being grey-ish beige, meaning Taehyung must have dressed her. The particularness of the blouse is that her chest is sort of just there, two of the top buttons undone. Her collarbones nicely stand out, the golden necklace’s she’s wearing a perfect addiction to highlight her sun-kissed skin. The scars aren’t even bothersome, they just add something more to her. And unlike her usual pulled back hairstyle, she has actually put effort and has curled her hair, that fall over her shoulders nicely in waves.

‘’That’s oddly specific, history wise.’’ Hoseok is the first one to comment on their exchange, everyone starting to look between the two in confusion. Y/N sigh still looking unbothered frowning, as she fiddles with the edge of the book that’s closes to her. Something is bothering her.

‘’History buffs.’’ Yoongi replies ‘’Its why she’s here.’’ Everyone turns to look at him. But even as nerves are starting to eat at me, I can’t take my eyes away from her, noticing more details like the makeup which she put on. I kind of prefer her without it. Of course, the mascara lengthens her lashes, but the powder hides her natural tone and small imperfections that she has. Her lips do look plump the rosy nude lipstick making me think that she must taste like peaches for some reason.

‘’Yah Y/N-ah not only do you speak languages as in plural and many, you’re also learning our history as well?? Next thing you’re going to tell us you were a general in your previous life!’’ Hoseok jokes, prompting everyone to smirk, as they stare at her.

But the smile she puts on is fake and half-hearted. I’ve learned how to read though her facial expression rather easily, and how she can mask away her inner feelings which reflect on her heart beat, and breathing steadiness.

‘’You wish.’’ She mumbles almost awkwardly ‘’So the invitation…’’ she straightens up, goosebumps rising over her forearms ‘’…he wants me to come.’’ Her expression hardens like I haven’t seen before. She is sort of glaring at hyung in accusation.

‘’Yes, and that comes out of the question.’’ He immediately states crossing his arms, as I let my own fall to my sides, finger itching to the end of the bombard jacket I’ve put on earlier, wanting to try it out finally.

‘’I second that.’’ To I think everyone’s surprise Namjoon speaks up.

‘’Agreed.’’ Jin nods, staring seriously at the human girl.

‘’It’s not like he’s giving us the option.’’ She replies back almost through grinded teeth as she crosses her arms, hands briefly running up and down her biceps as to warm up.

‘’No Y/N-ah.’’ Yoongi persists, while I start to shrug off my jacket ‘’You do realize you’re a lamb wanting to walk straight into a pack of bloodsucking leeches, right?’’

Silently I had her the jacket, which she accepts without questions sparing me a glance. Her eyes seem to have hardened, lips in a thin line briefly softening once her gaze is on me. But she’s quick to sober up so to speak, slipping her arms into the too long sleeves.

‘’Not to be rude or anything, but where exactly am I as of right now?’’ she narrows her eyes at him. To everyone’s surprise Yoongi hyung growls, the action prompting me to take a step to the side towards her. It isn’t until a moment later when hyung’s red eyes find my own, that I realized what I’m doing.

‘’Its different Y/N-ah. We want to protect you, that’s not that hard to comprehend.’’ Jin speaks up as I continue and hold onto Yoongi’s glare ‘’It’s obvious he wants to take advantage…’’ he doesn’t directly say but we know he what he means and why exactly the prince wants her for himself ‘’…and we are not going to let him do that. He isn’t entitled to you or anyone. He isn’t even a member of the ancients for fuckssake he doesn’t have that much power.’’

As Yoongi’s gaze flicks away I turn to watch the human as she rolls up the sleeves until her hand peek out. Tugging the front together she sorts of disappears into the jacket, looking smaller and younger all of the sudden. Anger begins to crawl underneath my skin, at the mere thought of the prince having his way with her. Even if she knows how to fight with a sword, she is defenceless.

‘’He really doesn’t.’’ Taehyung starts standing with his hands in his pockets looking very serious and almost angry ‘’I can get the guards of the ancients to pay attention to this matter. Just need a few days, but in the mean time I’ll get you the best of the best to keep you safe…’’

She’s already shaking her head ‘’I’m not staying behind.’’ She says standing up, the chair that she pushes away making a gods awful noise of protest in the tension of the room ‘’And this is reason enough as to why I cannot, and most definitely won’t stay behind.’’ she grabs for the invitation and raises it up, her hand quick to grab for the lighter that was discharged on the table, next to the candle on the candle stand. Nobody stops her as she turns the lighter up hovering the flame over the corner of the fancy paper.

I simply blink a few times tilting my head, as I watch it not take aflame. Instead the purple starts to fade out, a mark making itself present to all of us. I’ve missed that completely earlier when scanning the page – sparing a glance to the others so have they.

Just as she’s done burning the page, Namjoon is at her side taking the paper gently from her delicate fingers. I don’t miss once she lets go of the lighter, she rubs her fingers together. Careless human.

‘’A lion with an open and closed book. Side by side.’’ I frown at the symbol not being familiar with it. Shouldn’t it be a tiger as they are a symbol of Korea? Why are lions making so many appearances?

‘’What does that mean?’’ Jimin asks right behind Namjoon, who is examining the invitation once more, making sure he’s looking at every inch of it.

‘’Lions? Aren’t they tied to Europe? Egypt? Iran?’’ Taehyung mumbles walking human speed over to the three while Hoseok’s gaze is fixated on Yoongi, who is glaring at the golden book, Jin hyung’s jaw set tight.

‘’Venice.’’ Y/N replies instead holding a defensive position as she has her arms crossed as well, looking indifferent at this whole situation ‘’A lion with an open book means peace. Closed means war. Its rather simple.’’

‘’Start a war or maintain peace.’’ Jin states gathering everyone’s attention back to him. He looks conflicted eyes darting from one to another ‘’If Y/N-ah doesn’t come, that means we’ll be engaging ourselves into a war. And if Y/N-ah does come…’’ he trails off nose scrunching up for a moment as he looks away.

‘’A spoil of war.’’ Yoongi speaks up finally voice low ‘’In either case.’’ He glances at me briefly but his eyes snap to Y/N. She’s actually pacing back and forth side to side, a spring to her step confusing me. She was all grim and serious a moment ago, that typical stubbornness she tends to show more often than not newly present – and now replaced with something that I can’t exactly put my finger on.

It has me itching to move, itching to just shake her. Shake everyone else. We are being blackmailed. Nobody dares to do that to our coven, to Jin hyung let alone Yoongi who is a well renowned elder a general, a fighter and great conqueror even.

‘’It’s not going to end like that.’’ Jimin says upset stepping back over to the table ‘’He won’t just outplay us like that! We’re better than these petty mind games and childish treats.’’ He snarls in the end, Tae at his side, putting a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

‘’We’re not going to bow down that easily.’’ He confirms eyes for a moment flashing icy blue the motion showing how upset he really is.

‘’We can’t just defy him either.’’ Hoseok states angrily ‘’I don’t need to remind you what happened the last time, that prick didn’t get his way.’’

His words only spur my anger on, the helplessness that floods me for a moment enraging me as this whole situation has my lungs losing air. It’s suffocating. Not having entirely, the upper hand its odd – we’ve worked years to establish ourselves in the world and for others to leave us alone. Right now, all that hard work is toppling down. And all due to a mere human. She’s going to die in two decades either way! Why is everyone stressing out so much to protect her?! Why am I filled with so much dread, that it stops me from breathing, or moving at all as I feel like any wrong more, I’m going to cause a domino effect and cause it all to head to ruin.

Thinking about Hoseok words we’ve all heard the slaughter of the whole town that happened 60 years ago. The prince wanted a newly turned vampire girl that was supposedly destined to her maker. The Crescent Moon coven, was a strong one fit with warriors from the Joseon Dynasty – they were all ready to lie their lives down. And that’s exactly what happened. The prince a weakling himself armed with a measly ability of brief paralysis never gets his hands dirty – he bid other covens sister covens of the crescent moon coven to kill them all off. So, in the end he got his toy, and in the process a reputation that has even other covens on other continents hesitate.

‘’Well, with that lovely set of bad news, I’m gonna go get drunk. Who’s with me?’’ her voice is way too cheerful for the situation and the mess she’s in the centre of. I look at her incredulously as she lulls backwards clapping her hands once, the smile unfitting to rest over her softened features. Even though her eyes seem to remain stony her whole demander changes.

‘’Y/N-ah.’’ Yoongi mutters sounding exasperated and very tired, looking paler than usual as he looks at her in defeat.

‘’Hey, I know this is a lot right now, but I really don’t think that...’’ Jin hyung is cut short as she waves her hand in dismiss smirking.

‘’Oh, no, I was going to do it anyway. This just gives me a better excuse.’’ She replies cheerfully, her heart speeding up slightly, which she’s trying to mask by patting her thighs, as her hands keep moving around. She even winks as she glances at me. That’s what gets to me. All the dislike I’ve felt since she entered is back hitting me full force. This pesky mortal, this bug, this menace, this poor excuse of a human…

‘’Oh, so now you’re just going to go drink, are you?’’ I snap not holding myself back ‘’Drink away your sorrows and troubles, acting like a child instead of dealing with what seems to be your impending death?!’’ my voice rises in the end as I turn towards her properly ready to just…ugh!

‘’Jeongguk-ah.’’ I pick up on Namjoon’s voice which usually I’d listen to and turn to him but it’s too late. This is between me and her.

She simply stands there and blinks at me perplexed heart beat picking up in speed ‘’Aren’t you afraid mortal?’’ I step forward right into her space glaring down at her ‘’You want to die, don’t you? You are just asking for it? You hide behind your neatly crafted masks, talking so much but not saying anything that matters! Nobody can say that they know you, the real you as you keep avoiding questions and situations…who even are you?!’’ I laugh manically in a way gaze hardening as she glares at me ‘’You’re disregarding everyone right now, you are spitting in their faces and laughing in the process at us!’’

‘’Don’t…’’ she starts sound angry, her chest almost rumbling like a growl for moment, but I’m not sure as my chest feels inflated ready to burst from how angry I am.

‘’Every single one of them cares for you! They are trying to come up with a plan, a fucking plan to keep you away and safe while you flaunt yourself without a single care in the world! I can end it all right now!!!’’ before I can properly think it through my hand reaches out fingers curling around her throat without actually putting any pressure.

But my sudden action has everyone jumping towards us, ready to intervene – with a single thought and expansion of my mind they all stop in their tracks their angry thoughts filling my mind at first, before I silence them up ‘’Just say the word and I’ll end your pathetic life, that you are so happily wasting away without a care of the men that practically took you in as one of them. I dare you.’’

Throughout this whole exchange, since the moment my fingers came in contact with the warmth of her skin, she hasn’t even flinched. Not even as I forced her head higher bending it awkwardly meant to frighten her. She keeps glaring at me in defiance, breathing harsh as I’ve got a hold on her oxygen path but that’s just her body’s natural reaction rather than fear. There’s no fear in sight. Just matching anger that radiates right back at me, and something akin to hurt, that’s brewing behind the wetness that’s slowly but surely gathering across her lower eyelids.

That’s slightly unexpected in the fact that this is such a human response. Despite the brief hesitance that washes over me, I don’t loosen my hold making sure she has enough air to breathe semi-normally. He nostrils are flaring breathing sounding extra harsh in the silence surrounding us. Hyung’s remain like statues locked in place around us.

‘’Do it.’’ her words are brief monotone. I hesitate again not expecting this outcome and acceptance ‘’This is your go ahead, so do it Jeongguk-ssi! End my misery which you seem to know all about huh?’’ she bites in the end, the way she addresses me has me flinching again. The others have gotten used to the her informal friendly manner of addressing them while she keeps being so formal to me…when all I want is for her to be more comfortable with me…specially with me ‘’What are you waiting for?!?’’ she bellows hands coming up to grab at my wrist but not to move it away, but to tighten my hold on her ‘’DO IT THEN!!! END IT! Save yourself and your hyungs! You claim I don’t care, but this is its Golden boy.’’ She snarls ‘’This is me handing you all the reigns to solve this! I know that you’ve hated my guts from the moment I’ve walked in, so here’s your chance.’’ Her hold is minuscule compared to my own the tightening of her hand doesn’t do anything ‘’Do it.’’ she grinds through her teeth glaring at me looking completely pissed off and ready.

Every never in my body is on edge, every cell has come to a standstill at the last two words that she snarls. She’s being serious about this – she’s serious about dying. Her eyes as hard and cold – a complete contrast of the warmth that’s always there - legitimately frightening frankly. She looks like a completely different person…I don’t know this Y/N. It’s just so surreal that a look from a regular human as herself has me cowering almost.

She doesn’t falter as she simply waits for me there’s no flicker of anything on her expression or in her eyes. Humans are fickle creatures; they can be strong headed one moment and in the next they change their whole behaviour and point of thinking and attitude.

I’m completely startled and thrown off by her. The hurt that is spreading all over me is so foreign that I have no idea how to deal with it. How to deal with her. It hurts so much.

It’s not even anger anymore entirely - I despise her I know I do right now especially, the carelessness the obvious and easy acceptance of her faith her destiny…I hate her. I fucking hate her, don’t I? Why does it hurt so fucking much? My heart having been stopped all those year ago aches…feels like it’s going to burst. It gets overwhelming all of the sudden…her skin feels blazing hot.

I let go of her, taking half a step back as if she’s fire itself. Her body falters but only for a moment – she’s up on her feet posture straightened as a soldier almost, head rising up pridefully.

Her eyes are glossed over as she blinks and what breaks my heart further is them darting behind me. She looks towards Yoongi. But no tears leave or fall her down her cheeks no. Her breathing seems to calm down, heart still hammering against her chest, painfully sounding. She ends up nodding some sort of determination, washing over her.

‘’And I’m the pathetic one then huh?’’ it just feels like a punch to the gut the anger that starts to radiate of her. She takes a moment to glance around at hyungs that have remains the same, my control of them having shifted into subconsciousness. I’ve never achieved this before. ‘’I’m going whether you like it or not. The time has come.’’ She takes a step back hesitating briefly ‘’My time has come.’’ She mumbles more to herself, glancing away and back at me blinking away fallen tears but she’s quick to turn around and march outside, hitting the heavy wooden doors with more force than its necessary but also more force than a human can display, as both swing open with ease.

Maybe that’s just my mind playing tricks on me. We all listen to her march away, her footsteps echoing in the spacious corridor. I let go of my hold of the others, having to really concentrate and even close my eyes to figure out this newfound strength that seems to be awakening. Once I hear them start moving, the dryness of my throat that hits me isn’t unexpected.

Nobody says anything at all, as I pull myself together gathering the mess that others thoughts have left in my mind. Blindly stepping forward I reach for the pushed back chair and sit myself down on it, hand automatically reaching for my temples. I don’t have a headache per say, but it sure does feel like one, dull throbbing paired up with hunger.

The hurt still lingers, it lingers like a freshly cut wounds from a sword or from a whip. A painful reminder of my human life ghost over me, over my back but it brings back the memory of Y/N back. Fuck. Fuck!!! Why am I aching all over? Why is it so hurtful to even think about her? I can’t shake off the memory of her shouting, and screaming so desperately for something, or someone. It suddenly fills my mind, the sigh of her in terror, but also the relief and the way she said ‘my love’ as she looked straight at me.

My dead-unbeating heart aches, longs for something. Something I don’t think I’ve ever felt before. Maybe I felt it briefly with Na-yeon, but this is in a different way and thousand times more intense. More real. I can’t wrap my head around it what’s so ever, it doesn’t make sense. This anger, this hatred this pain this agony that has my knees shaking, and has me wanting to sob, and shout and scream. Just as I’m on the verge of doing so, hands settle over my knees.

‘’Jeongguk-ah.’’ Yoongi’s voice calls out softly ‘’Hey listen to me. Just focus on my voice okay.’’ he starts the notion, his position very similar to the time when he turned me. I was so confused and absolutely terrified with the burning, and blinding hunger that was taking over every part of my being. It’s almost as overwhelming as whatever this is now – the spiralling thoughts about the mortal won’t stop. The added images of her in armour, and her grins and cheers of my name make no sense. Did hyungs think about her like this?!

Dressed in a simpler dress running across a field of flowers? A flower crown on her head, brightening up her being? The image of her naked body, decorated with less scars but cuddled up to my own? The sight of tears of joy that spill from her eyes, as I find myself on my knees offering a humble looking golden ring?

‘’…you’re alright Jeonggukie, you’re alright. Nobody is mad at you okay? Just focus on me, I’m here like I always was and will be remember?’’ Hyung still continues to talk bringing memories back when he turned me, and how he helped me calm down.

I was such a hot head, wasn’t I? I still am just more focused on my actions. Specially since she came into our lives, wreaking havoc.

‘’In another life.” the declaration is full of sorrow, voice cracking at the end as tears spill and glint in the sun. It’s a very similar image to the way Y/N acted before walking away.

‘’In another life, things are going to work out with us. There won’t be duties nor any betrothed nor anything else to keep us apart.’’ The promise is meant wholeheartedly, even though the voice sounds faint as if losing battle.

‘’In another life’’ The echo was melancholy, full of emotion full of…of…

‘’Hey.’’ I didn’t even realize I opened my eyes until I realize I’m staring at Yoongi hyung, his eyes full of concern glowing brightly red as he stares at me frighten as well.

‘’Hey.’’ I sigh realizing that I’m half slumped forward. Looking up all the hyung’s are still in the room, none looking angry. They are relatively unmoving only Namjoon hyung listing through a thick red book.

‘’You alright there maknae?’’ Hoseok asks trying to put on a smile of reassurance, others doing the same. I simply blink a few times trying to see what book Namjoon is listing through but give up as I straighten and turn to Yoongi. He remains kneeling a moment further and then stands up, hands leaving from where he rested them on my knees.

‘’I think so.’’ I mumble glancing towards the doors.

‘’We might have an upper hand here boys.’’ its Jin that speaks up suddenly. Unlike others I can’t find it in myself to turn to him, but continue to stare at the ajar doors, trying to listen and pin point where the human went. It feels off not hearing her. I know she found a room at the very top of the mansion, a small quarter that belong to a maid previously – we can’t really hear here from here.

‘’That might actually work.’’ Namjoon says as I turn to the hyungs all huddled together next to Jin, that looks actually hopeful others slowly following suit ‘’We just need to figure and calculate the odds.’’

I’ve clearly missed a bit chunk of the conversation, rather focusing on locating the mortal. Some sort of panic rises in my lungs, my throat closing in at the lack of heart beat.

She left. Glancing towards Yoongi he’s already staring at me but with a softened expression Took a car and probably went for a drive. She’ll be back soon enough, I’ll send Jimin and Hoseok to keep an eye out. Don’t worry we’ll get her back safely.

I simply nod at his thoughts only slightly pushing down the panic. It’s weird. What occurred, and the words that were spoken and…it’s all just weird.

In another life huh. Those words bring an additional heaviness that settles, lodges itself into my soul…what’s left of it anyways.

*D-Day*

‘’Déjà vu much? Or is that just me?’’ I can hear the smirk in his tone. Sparing a glance to my right I watch as Yugyeom smirks cockily, clearly very amused by me.

‘’Hm, the song, or?’’ he chuckles shaking his head pushing me slightly playfully as he comes to a still at my side. I half laugh along with him, readjusting my posture keeping an eye out on the smaller ‘throne room’ the scenery unchanged as vampires keep on dancing. Of course, the ones higher in rank are mostly in the middle of the room whilst vampires as myself sort of bodyguards are positioned all around the spacious place. Seeing most of the Prince’s coven around has my nerves tingling uncomfortably. The positions they’ve chosen to stand in are very strategic – something that Namjoon hyung predicted impeccably.

‘’So, what do you recon my fine less handsome than me friend?’’ the question is expected. I glance over to the Prince’s people trying to see if anyone is interested in us. Remaining silent for a few extra moments, I focus on their thoughts finding out nothing but boredom and uninterest in most of what’s going on. Specially once the Prince’s laughter rings out the ballroom.

Something’s very wrong isn’t it?

‘’The usual. Anything caught your eye??’’ I reply out loud The prick has his eye on our human. My guess he called you just to rub it in our faces when he attempts to take her.

‘’That girl in the green dress. From Busan supposedly.’’ He wiggles his eyebrows annoyingly, putting on a boyish demander He’s testing JB-hyungs and our covens’ loyalty. He knows we’re close. He just wants theatrics doesn’t he.

‘’Hmmm. Decent.’’ Unimpressed I take the pointed-out girl in, spotting another red head dancing next to her ‘’Dibs on the Illsan chick.’’ I don’t know exactly what he wants, but he isn’t getting anything tonight. Specially not Y/N.

‘’The one in purple? Ah Jeongguk-ah have your standards fallen?’’ he’s quick to tease me placing one hand over my shoulder nudging me You’ve grown fond of her, haven’t you? What happened to you absolutely despising her guts my friend? Even though she’s rather very attractive for a mortal.

I hold back the growl that threatens to leave my throat at his mere thoughts, and quickly turning erotica images of Y/N ‘’What’s the issue is that you’ve raised your own too much.’’ I manage to stiffly say turning my head to glare at my friend, who raises his eyebrows in surprise and the narrows them, looking knowingly at me.

You like her. I immediately start glaring at him and his thoughts That’s very poetic sort of there Jeonggukie!

‘’Are you sure it’s me?’’ he adds out loud daring me on all of the sudden fully leaning onto me. I glare at him in anger, hating that he’s quick to read me even though he doesn’t have any mind related abilities, having been graced with an elemental ability of controlling the earth.

I do not like her! We’re not 5 you oaf! Ridiculous. Hyung’s have taken a liking to her, and it wouldn’t be fair to them to not stand on the same page it’s all. ‘’Judging by your ex-es I’m 100% sure.’’ I reply to which he feigns hurt stumbling a step back hand placed over where his heart is.

‘’Oh, you wound me brother. Wound me deep!’’ he ends up giggling peering at me with one eye closed the other peeking. I shake my head at his antics glancing around the room meeting Yoongi hyung’s eyes. Whatever makes you sleep better, as they say.

His amusement is annoying as he ends up gigging stepping closer to me again. I keep my mouth shut waiting for hyung to approach us, my eyes unwillingly shooting over to the loudmouth Prince that is shouting praise holding hands with a very clearly uncomfortable Y/N. To everyone else her mask is perfectly crafted the big grin reaching the sky, her eyes cutely crinkled, the blush fitting for a human look of innocence – to me I can see that she just wants to get away desperately.

‘’Hyung.’’ my best friends voice brings me out of my slight daze as Yoongi reaches us as well as Jaebeom, the leader of the White Moon 7 coven. I quickly greet him and bow down respectfully to which he simply smiles looking more relaxed that Yoongi who has kept a serious face all evening. It’s weird seeing and knowing that he’s nervous.

‘’It is nice of Wangseja to have invited us together once more. We don’t see each other enough as it is.’’ Jaebeom starts politely with a friendly smile on his face as he looks between me and Yoongi that finally cracks a smile.

‘’We should change that somewhat.’’ Looking at hyung I simply observe as the two older vampires start up a conversation with ease, completely distracted at the moment.

Jeongguk-ah are you there? ‘’Yes, very charming when he wants to be.’’ I’m left startled for a moment figuring that they are talking about me the two other chuckling quietly.

‘’Sorry.’’ I apologize out loud and in mind quick to set up a link between Yoongi and Jaebeom. Outside our own coven, Yugyeom and Jaebeom are the only ones that know about my ability. Everyone just assumes I’m stronger than the average vampire, and that is how Yoongi portrayed me ever since changing me, keeping my mental ability as a secret which turned out helpful in many situations.

‘’Where is your lady at? Surely you didn’t leave her at home.’’ Yoongi teases the younger leader, crossing his arms as he smirks eyeing the sudden shyness that Jaebeom portrays.

‘’Yes well, we’ve agreed for her to stay behind…’’

‘’Much to her dismay.’’ Yugyeom adds smirking earning himself a smack over his head flawlessly so may I add. I quickly spare a glance barely finding the human girl trapped between two chatty vampire ladies.

‘’…and take care of things at home in peace. Vampire royalty and gatherings as these aren’t really the right scene for her in my opinion. Politics can be draining, mortal or not.’’ my eyes remain on the human girl now standing at the side of the dancing vampires clapping along to the lively song, as others dance. A guy is talking to her, leaning in to close for comfort. But she’s not pushing him away.

Forcing myself to look away, I make work of focusing and expanding my mind; it’s hard to explain how my ability works its sort of like an expanding bubble sometimes – other times it’s like a bungee rope expanding and shrinking. Tonight, it’s a mix of both, as I make sure that whoever is paying attention to us or has at least a suspicion of anything - I slip a random thought into their brains averting them completely.

Glancing between the three vampires I set the link between our leaders trying to maintain the enclosed radius keeping guard of others thoughts while, I shield away their minds.

‘’…we’d be glad if you came over. I’m sure your human will get along with my beloved just fine.’’ The sentiment is genuine and welcoming, but I cannot say the same for the second ongoing conversation. As Yugyeom starts to explain on what renovations they did, I tune the outside world to out focusing on the conversation in my head.

…you can’t ask me that hyung. I blink in confusion at the strain that’s coming from Jaebeom.

I’m not. I wouldn’t ask that of anyone. But you will have to pick a side as a leader. Yoongi remains calm, face twisted in a gummy smile which is far from what’s boiling on the inside.

You know friendship wise…no brother wise I always have your back. I could never replay you for what you’ve done for us, for me… I glance past Jaebeom not wanting to be obvious, seeing the brief hurt on his features before he smooths it out with calmness as he adds in commentary correcting Yugyeom that continues to blabber providing the perfect coverup.

Jaebeom’s words have me curious. I know Yoongi knows his from way back…I mean he isn’t that old as a vampire but he’s old enough, and has been through things. I’m not surprised that Yoongi helped him, just at the gratitude that’s coming from the White Moons coven leader.

Friendship aside Jaebeom-ah you need to think what’s best for your coven. You’re the only one that can decide on it. You cannot ask neither Jinyoung neither Jackson on this. They will agree with you, with hesitance at first but your opinion matters in the end. I look at Yoongi whose own eyes skip and meet my own. Well there goes plan B sort of.

Like Yugyeom said previously that prick invited mostly people that are loyal to him – covens known to be cutthroat and eager to reach higher statues as quick as they can doing whatever the need to, to reach their goals. While they keep up appearances of wanting peace and good grace, everyone knows them. It’s why everyone leaves them alone and are befriending them. My friend’s coven makes sense as in added theatrics as well as drama and flare putting them in the position of choosing their loyalty. There’s of course our sort of sister clan from Busan named Kard. I know Namjoon secured their support just earlier having seen him convers Matthew. A big guy easily distinguished from the crowd, loud but generally friendly.

I’m not sure about the point of view from Monsta X as they call themselves. Nice dude’s but not sure why they were invited exactly. Maybe Jimin or Tae will work their magic on them.

Why so invested in her? Judging by the carefree nature… Jaebeom trails off gaze trailing over to Y/N. To my surprise she’s standing with the Shownu. He is known to be friendly as well on a human level nice despite looking like an absolute giant specially now standing before her in comparison. I know most humans wouldn’t dare approach him – neither some vampires.

I watch sort of entranced at the way Y/N smiles genuinely ending up in giggles, hand not really covering her mouth as most girls do.

Her dress tonight is more modern, still draped from her waist down but unlike her proud showing of her scars and skin the last time, this time the top does hug her curves precisely, but the boat neck cut prevents from showing extra skin. The colour doesn’t make her stand out being a dark navy blue, with golden detailing woven into the torso. Compared to other women here it’s rather simple at first glance. She has once more a cuff strapped to her bicep showing of her slightly more built figure. Hair pulled back, only a few curled-up strands are elegantly falling down.

She looks royal in a sense. She holds herself as one actually and not in an arrogant way. Her attitude is much calmer than it was back home…actually it’s been tamed since the argument from the library 3 days ago. Nobody expected for her to retract in on herself, barely speaking to anyone of us.

What hurts the most is her blatant ignorance for me. It stings like an open wound thinking about it. My main anger lies in her wish for death. She revealed much of herself – the wish for death not expected from any one of us. Maybe with the exception of Yoongi. It always brings a bitter taste to my mouth, sour uncomfortably at the thought of them together. Seeing her so cheerful across us spewing jokes making vampires thrice her age laugh is the perfect illusion isn’t it?

There’s always more than meets the eye. I can’t help but to say silently in the back of my mind. I feel both hyungs eyes on me, while I keep my own on her. The agitation like a small tidal wave begins its climb, masking my emotions with it. This is not the time nor place to rethink my past decisions, let alone hers and her actions. No weaknesses.

‘’A pleasure but I’m going to have to decline.’’ I pick out her voice though Yoongi mind. Just as I was about to back away from them let them talk more, she comes into the front. I think all of our eyes dart towards her standing near the opening that leads to the side and Japanese inspired garden that’s not at all anything to brag about.

I don’t recognize the vampire but judging by his posture which seems to be overbearing her and his sort of puffed out chest he’s clearly underestimating her and undermining.

‘’…just one dance, mortal. To show you how a real dance occurs, show you the magic of it.’’ que Yugyeom fake throwing up noises next to me.

‘’Who does he think he is?! Ugh.’’ My best friend adds sounding annoyed. I can feel Jaebeom’s eyes on me, but I keep staring at how the male vampire takes a closer step hand reaching out for Y/N’s hand her arms remaining at her sides, fingers fidgeting. Her right hand is bent where her sword would rest on her hip.

‘’I’ve been shown quite enough of magic that will last me my life time thank you sincerely for the offer but my answer is still no.’’ She shots him once more, bowing to him respectfully but half-heartedly taking a step back with the intention on clearly moving away, but he simply steps before her preventing her from leaving.

‘’You’ve never been with me, little lamb. Can’t say that until you try me.’’

I don’t even wait for hyung or anyone to give me permission. My body starts moving forward on its own as I avoid vampires moving around swiftly, hand reaching up grabbing onto the prick shoulder.

‘’Is this guy bothering you?’’ I find myself asking tugging him aback gently enough to dislodge him and break his bravado, as I stand sort of in between them acting as a shield to Y/N, her eyes darting to me. I put my hands together before me, squaring up my shoulder not being able to help myself but to up him puff my chest out a little bit. He’s leaner in posture than I am, and judging by the immediately brief snarl he’s an entitled brat.

‘’No, no, no.’’ Y/n shakes her head, her hand that wraps around my left would make my heart flutter up my throat if I were still alive, specially her proximity as she steps forward and stands next to me ‘’The gentleman was just politely asking for a dance in your absence it’s all.’’ her smile is Oscar worthy as she looks at me.

Barely composing himself he nods his head and puts on the fakest smile achievable ‘’Indeed, the lady looked lonely. Nobody should ever leave something as delicious looking all alone.’’ The comment has me narrowing my eyes, body tensing. The caresses coming from Y/N’s hand that’s running up and down my forearm do help.

‘’I’d suggest that you step away before I punch you in the face.’’ his cocky demander disappears, into one of shook and offense as she glares at me. Giving him a pointed look with a raised eyebrow he’s quick to start moving away without even properly bowing or anything. Glancing after him he’s running of to his sire, I’m sure.

‘’That was unnecessary.’’ Her comments irks me to no end from the get go as I turn down to look at the girl. She’s shorted than last time, not wearing any heels unusually so. She still tall enough to be able to reach my lips…hmm her lips do look nice too…snap out of it Jeongguk-ah!!! You hate her, right?!

‘’But very welcomed.’’ I simply blink at her baffled once more at the change in attitude from annoyed looking to a genuine smile which she offers looking up at me, still not having unhooked her hand from my own.

‘’So, I take it that you’re done with dances for the day?’’ I ask instead treading on what feels like a millimetre thin ice. Last time she paid me any mind it ended up bad. The ache returns of course, even though I thought to myself that I’m not going to let it get to me – with a single touch, I’m back at square one.

‘’Yes.’’ She half groans throwing her head back, the action childish as she closes her eyes briefly exposing her bare neck to my eye and my eyes only. It has my blood speeding up so to speak, the sight of her flawless neck so close to my hands offering such temptations…close to my mouth ‘’Done with dances forever.’’ The mumble follows which has me chuckling quietly again at the kid like reply. Straightening up I notice how her chest expands and deflates eyes taking her surroundings quickly ‘’Maybe one dance would hurt.’’

Her cheeks are quick to intensify in colour and warmth that she radiates, her hand that has come to a stop over my own suddenly lays there noticeable. Her fidgeting is back as she bends and stretches her fingers slowly.

‘’Is this your way of asking me to dance with you?’’ I ask grinning immediately completely enamoured for a moment at the sudden shyness that she’s portraying not meeting my gaze even though I’m standing right in front of her in her personal space.

‘’Bad idea huh? I’ll just go…’’

‘’No, no I accept.’’ I quickly interrupt her as she’s quick to let me go and untangle herself away. But it’s easy to capture for her hands, readjusting one over my shoulder and the keep a gentle held off her right one her fingers for a moment tapping against my hand. She looks up at me almost bright red, blinking sort of innocently as I lull us to the side trying her out more or less.

Her eyes remain firmly on my own feet easily following my movements, as I take charge and lead the dance, keeping us to the side but still in the circle of the ongoing dancers, music still being played by the live orchestra that’s situated on the other entrance of the mirroring garden. Cocky of that bastard to hire more musicians that we had. It’s the little details of pettiness.

‘’I’m surprised you’re not drinking tonight.’’ Instant regret!!!!!! I straight out start to shout at myself in my mind every curse word that I know of resurfacing and aimed at myself. What the fuck was this!!! I was given a chance to make things right and here I am fucking it all up asking her the one question that should never have left my mouth!!!

She hums instead shrugging her shoulders ‘’They supposedly bought the best of the best red wine for me. The label best doesn’t always mean or guarantee quality though.’’ I smirk at her quick dismissal of their pitiful efforts ‘’Besides red wine gives me acid reflux so that’s just a bummer.’’

I legitimately laugh at her predicament the genuine misery in her tone adding to it. She smacks her lips together portraying her detestation ‘’As lacking as our…’’ the last word goes unspoken masked with a slight cough as we both glance towards the Prince, that’s at the side chatting with his advisor vividly. The seriousness the older looking advisor has and calculating eyes ranking the vampires gives me all the bad vibes as Y/N would say. Twirling her around, I make effort to perfectly spin her out, and receive her back in my arms. The fond smile that has made itself present remains on, as I watch completely smitten by the share grace she effortlessly embodies, her dress floating along making it seem like she’s gliding along, moving in tune to me. Once I pull her in the second time, her dress gently brushes against my front, her arms arched in such a way as if she’s a professional dancer and has been doing this with me for years.

For a moment I’m left mesmerized as she easily picks up the pace and keeps up with me, body pressed tighter and closer to my own, the tuxedo I’ve got on feeling restricting after a while.

‘’I swear…’’ she starts and sighs sounding very annoyed out of the blue ‘’Firs the lack of beverages, then no functioning bathrooms, and the tip of the iceberg is the lack of Chrysaor. Aish.’’ She whispers the last part angrily almost looking at me pointedly.

Chrysaor is the name of her kopis, that she had to leave at the entrance. Even though others have weapons some as mere decorations on them, others just out of habit she wasn’t one of the very few guests that weren’t allowed to carry their weapons inside. To be fair someone had a spear, thinking it would make him look cooler than he is – it’s a fact because I’ve accidentally read his mind.

‘’I’m curious.’’ I speak up curiously watching as the annoyance disappears and she looks at me with an open expression easily maintaining her composure switching the steps up ‘’Why the Greek elements?’’ everyone has been wondering her relation to what seems to be a seemingly Greek background. But she never specified it, and upon certain situation she reacted completely differently, indication another proposition and notion of her belonging to other cultures. At one point, it was debated if she was from Canada. Another one someone placed her, to be Italian. I think Taehyung even propositioned that maybe she grew in Japan, as that’s another language which she showed in being extraordinarily fluent in a mere week ago.

Yoongi merely smiled at any of our questions, ignoring Jin’s persistent nature in finding out the truth as upon the first initial question of ‘Where is she exactly coming from?’ he was left puzzled, and realized that he forgot, and mixed it up in his head.

She snorts at my question I think having expected it at one point or another ‘’Its same if I’d ask you why are you so Korean?’’ she shoots back gaze piercing through me ‘’People could easily confuse you for something else with a different cultural background. Same can be applied to me I agree with you on that.’’ I glance away out of embracement and awkwardness at her rather defensive reply.

‘’But also, to answer your question, I do have lineage reaching years, centuries, millennia back to Greece. Like Yoongi has to the royal family.’’ It’s a well-known fact in our coven that Yoongi by birth right is actually higher up that Wangseja himself is. And I think other covens know this too, but due to hyungs blunt nature they are wise to back off and not engage into political games with him.

‘’You’ve done research about it?’’

A small smirk draws itself on her lips, face turning away to the left. For a moment she gets this faraway look, but then turns to look at me ‘’You could say that.’’ Before her answer can puzzle me further and raise more questions, she’s quick to return the favour ‘’What about you? Are you curious about your history, your ancestors, previous lives all that?’’

For the first time I feel as if her complete attention is on me, eyes unmoving having softened actually. Her heart remains steady, breathing having calmed down, and even her feet are lighter than before, sliding against the polished floor like a breeze ‘’Once upon a time, yes I was curious.’’ I find myself admitting looking in between us as the closeness we’re holding one another at, her hand feeling warm in my own ‘’But I didn’t get many answers.’’ due to the chandeliers above us, the light reflecting in her eyes resemble stars.

‘’Yes, humans do have a poor way of recording history. And have a reputation of destroying it as well as replacing it.’’ the curt laugh gives away the tinge of bitterness that’s she’s feeling about this matter.

But what’s intriguing is her wording. The way she keeps addressing humans as if she’s isn’t one herself. I know I must be overthinking, it’s probably nothing. She’s tired of her race as we are of our species at times when idiots poke their heads out into the sunlight – literally.

‘’Maybe one day I’ll find out more. Yoongi lived through most of the history, and from what he’s been telling me about certain stories not much made it to the light of day.’’ Her smile widens at my words, body moving and moulding as I bend her over for a moment, following along the other dancers the difference between us that we are both half-ass-ing it sort of, the others seemingly putting effort. And yet the two of us are the ones most in tune with one another.

We fit like puzzle pieces in a sense, as she moves and I follow right on point, and with a slight nudge from me she’s already adapting just as I’d imagine it in my head. It feels right, how harmonious we actually are.

‘’I bet…’’ she quickly shuts up, as everyone goes quiet the music ending, claps suddenly rising in volume. Startled I look up around us, not even following along as everyone has turned towards the orchestra, fake smiles present. I quickly spot Taehyung and Jimin in the front, both with dancers of their own while Hoseok is hanging back with Namjoon. Yoongi is standing near Jaebeom still across the room, while Jin is somewhere in the middle.

I look at him in confusion feeling Y/N shift in my hands. Glancing down she offers a nod towards hyung, understanding whatever message he sent her whilst I wasn’t looking.

‘’Thank you for the dance Jeongguk-ah.’’ The thanks is unexpected along with the loveliest smile I’ve ever seen in my life. If I were still alive this would be the time when my heart would just jump out of my chest, and I’d be red head to toe. She called me Jeongguk-ah. Hehe.

‘’Ah your welcome, thank you.’’ I reply completely perplexed and awkward taking a step back still holding onto her hand as I bow down properly almost 90 degrees. She chuckles at what a dumbass I am, nodding her head simply hand leaving my own with hesitance. At least it feels like hesitance.

I put on a smile easily because it’s her, but maintaining it once she walks away is tricky. I can still feel her hand on my own, as it remains warm. Placing both hands before me I take a step back, my intention is to back away and sink into the ground, from how dumb I am.

How does she have such a big impact on me? A fucking smile has my knees weak and wobbly.

You are totally into her, pfff what a softie!!! instead of sparing my best friend a glare I look back into the crowd completely ignoring the Prince as he begins another speech addressing everyone, probably ready to close the night off by bringing in humans. Maybe that’s why Jin hyung got Y/N’s attention, wanting to get her out. She shouldn’t see this ever. Or be a part of it!

‘’Ah JK, JK, you won’t even look at me.’’ Yugyeom states disappointed immediately after ending up chuckling clearly amused by my predicament.

Just making sure she’s safe that’s all I reply back frowning to myself, as her back is turned to me. But judging by Jin hyungs agitated expression something must be happening ‘’I’ve seen your ugly mug enough already.’’ I reply back looking around the room, noticing the lack of “guards”. The area near the main entrance is sort of empty.

Aha that’s what they all say. That’s what Jaebeom hyung said too for his mate I raise my eyebrow turning to him briefly the word mate suddenly ringing in my head. Mate.

‘’Oh, what’s happening?’’ just as he asks that and I tug my mind back from going into overdrive at an inkling I get in my gut, the lights get suddenly cut off. Some ladies even though are vampires do shout out like humans do in their horror movies. What’s surprising is that most of the chandeliers were lighted up by candles. As far as Namjoon’s hyung research went the Prince had a wind manipulator in his guard.

I immediately look towards the centre of the room air getting sucked out of my throat as the boulder of nerves that makes itself present once more with full force sinks his claws more into me. As people shift around, I completely lose sight of her in the crowd barely picking up on Jin hyungs purple hair. Before I can run after them, a hiss gets my attention a man dressed in the royal guard’s officer clothing raises his arms up holding a sword steadily between his hands.

There’s moonlight faintly shining inside enabling us to see enough not to be left completely blind. The advantages and disadvantages here are also that some vampires have better and worse night vision from one another. And they don’t call me Golden Maknae for nothing.

It’s easy to push Yugyeom away and take a step back intercepting a dagger in its wake of lodging itself into my heart. I’m met with glowing red eyes, as the man hisses mind screaming KILL loudly. He acts fact moving back and reaches forward again, the larger blade of the sword rendering a hinderance to his intent of cutting me, than the dagger he holds in his other hand the image of him cutting of my head with it very unrealistic. As I reach forward this time using his hesitance to my advantage I grab onto his forearms, and simply squeeze my ability coming through.

The scream he lets out is sort of a human habit, pain half reduced thanks to our genes. The scene is what gets to him more likely, bones sticking out as his forearms and limp hands sort of dangle, the crushed and bent shape of his forearms moulder to my fingers plainly creepy looking.

As his hands give out, the blades start falling down immediately. I headbutt him unnecessarily so yes, but it has him stumbling back while I kneel to pick up both blades before they can chatter to the ground.

And it’s just in time, as another man is suddenly at my right-side dagger inches away from the side of my throat. But it’s Yugyeom that pulls him back, the ground around us shaking. Nothing happens expect that the man’s neck cracks as my friend takes care of his previous attacker, who lays on the ground with a weirdly bent leg and neck. Turning to the fallen guard, the dagger in my hold mimics the image he had in his mind – it gets swiftly lodged in his chest instead of my own.

For a moment I want to leave it in, but decide against it switching the weapons in my hands, knowing I’ll do better with the Geom he wielded, dagger at the ready for extra damage or to deflect attacks.

The goal is simple really – get to Y/N. I bet my hyung’s are on the same thought as I am, but what fuels me is much deeper than they could ever understand.

It’s weird that the guards and the men fighting against us, let go most of the guests to run to the gardens as the entrance seems to be blocked completely. The colour of a blue dress gets my attention mid-way as I stare bewildered at the human girl cursing out loud not keeping quiet at all. She’s banging against the door, shouting ‘’GIVE ME BACK MY KOPIS YOU COWARDS!!!’’

I can’t even take a moment to shake my head at her, or call her out on it as a woman jumps onto my back, her hiss sending a cold shiver down my spine fangs close to ripping into me. This is what happens in war or in fights – you lose your focus for one second or stop moving and you are done for.

I half expect the blood curling scream that rings in my ears slightly painful only a second after. But the dead-beat weight and gurgling that follows is welcomed. Shaking my shoulders, she falls down, behind me hands tearing at and into her own throat, blood spilling from every nock and cranny of her face I’ll put it like that. Glancing up Yoongi offers a brief nod my way, as he moves to stand behind me. A cold shudder runs down my spine, the sight of him using his abilities rare for a reason.

Focus Jeongguk-ah focus

This is exactly why he has trained me for all those gruelling never-ending one on one hand combats lessons lasting years – they are paying off tremendously. Just not in a way I’d expected them to, having Y/N as my main priority to protect and not myself.

We need to get to Y/N hyung

I barely can focus on replying as I intercept more blades going our way, guards seemingly doubling number wise as well as individual attackers. Besides having a vague sense where my brothers are, I’m tremendously grateful for the handpicked friends that have chosen to fight by our sides, Jaebeom’s choice in standing with us, bringing warmth to my heart.

Upon punching and knock a man into a half dead state watching as he falls heavily to the ground, I turn up ready to lodge the dagger into the next asshole that is planning to stand in my way. I’m met with a composed fellow that has his tuxedo ripped and is breathing heavily as he glares at me with bright red eyes, fangs out. Isn’t he the leader of the newest clan with the unorthodox name? An orange hair man stumbles behind him confirms my thoughts, as I know Jooheon hyung, having met him through Namjoon and Hoseok. He’s the one that nods his head urging his leader forward.

Getting frustrated with the nonstop attacks, I’m tempted to just force everyone to a stop quick to rile myself up more by imaging Y/N – the memory of her smiling at me encourages me with ease. But the man that stands before me and grins cockily ready to fight, suddenly has his eyes rolling to the back of his head body crumbling on the ground, something bursting as blood splatters hit my trousers.

‘’Now is not the time Jeongguk-ah.’’ Yoongi growls ‘’You need to go get Y/N and get out of here.’’

For once I don’t hesitate or second guess his notion. Not that I ever did, but at some requests you have to stop and rethink things. But this time, I’m in sync body and mind. Making way for him, I move past Matthew who sends a wink my way continuing on to crush a guy’s skull with his bare hands, his second in command a grey-haired girl right next to him, pushing away another girl with ease.

I notice that the entrance has been busted open by force. Our library doors come to my mind briefly, wood splintered at the handles like back home. But these are much, much heavier doors than ours, this house having been a fortress and armoury a long time ago. Meaning the walls are thick, as well as the passages, and these doors included.

And yet someone managed it – what’s so shocking is that I’m the one that’s considered being one of the strongest vampires maybe in the world - and I know it myself that I’d have a great difficulty achieving whatever happened to the doors.

A shout of anger has me backing towards its direction voice falling quiet, but cuts and grunts persistent. Once I manage to get myself out of a noose that I find myself in with another girl that’s clearly on our side I do take the chance to look towards Y/N.

The lower part of her dress has ben sort of torn and half cut away, her bare feet peaking specially as she kicks a man very Spartan style, while her bronze blade glints magically almost in the cascading moonlight that’s peaking from the gardens, the huge open walls proving a disadvantage somewhat from the removed previous doors that guarded this room.

She’s standing rather close to our way out luckily and for all my doubt she looks like she’s holding perfectly fine on her own, the many bodies that are disintegrating into ash at her feet are a huge indication that she is no stranger to carnage as this one. She skilfully even more skilful than Yoongi or Hoseok hyung combined are, glides across the ground dodging the quickly paced attacks of what I know seem like blurred figures and movements to human eyes. And yet here she is intercepting every blow as if she’s one of us.

That’s not right. By logic she shouldn’t be able to see us move so quick, let along deflect fatal blows like that. A growl leaves from her lipstick stained lips, as she mercilessly cuts down another woman similar in height leaving her crying out in pain pushed harshly to the ground. I watch as Y/N moves her kopis as if it is an expansion of herself, easily across the woman’s head, cutting it clearly off. Her eyes lift up meeting my own in the massacre.

But it’s as if the cosmos slows down, and connects the pieces of a giant infinite puzzle that for the first time slots together into one.

Because her eyes…I’ve seen them before. I’ve admired them many, many times. In more serene times, and much bloodier than this.

‘’Duck!!!!!!’’ her shout is quick face turning into one of panic. I blindly follow her words, falling to my knee’s half turning back to see a rapier being thrust just above my head. Hand shooting up, I twist the guys own hand completely pulling his arm out of his socket as I turn and stand around lodging the dagger into one of his eyes. I’m not sure in which as I don’t bother making sure, Y/N being in danger bringing my own panic to the front.

Before my brain can process what’s happening, my body freezes tiny bits of shocks of electricity force my muscles to tighten up. I groan through my teeth, falling down onto my right knee as my body clamps up. The hold that’s on the juncture where my neck meets my throat is the strong, long nails digging into my skin but not piercing it.

I try to move immediately, despite my body wanting to curl in on itself I fight against it achieving no difference in the end as my body continuously gives out. I do manage so semi-successful tugs but nothing prominent, as I freeze up all the more, the static intensifying making me cry out as fuck this shit hurts.

‘’I’d advise you to stop dear.’’ The Prince’s voice is condescending. I try to get a look at him, but he has me in his grip in a way that forces me to stare forward, eyes darting around trying to find my hyungs – no one is in sight. Only Y/N that’s twisting and turning her blade which is lodged in a man’s chest, her hand holding him up somehow by his throat. I bet she’s responsible for the doors – but more importantly she lied didn’t she. The display of strength…

‘’Ah just when I was starting to have real fun.’’ Her voice is heavily sarcastic as she spares the Prince a glare, and then pushes the disintegrating body away, her blade remaining covered in fresh blood that she brings to hold on her side.

‘’Indeed fun. It was well worth hiring extra lackies for you to play around with.’’ The Prince brags happily almost ‘’Your reputation precedes you daimones. I hope you’ve been appeased by my gifts.’’

I stare at Y/N as she clicks her tongue looking very unamused as she swings her sword around for my guess a dramatic effect and examines it for a moment. She nods her head more to herself as she walks towards the middle of the room actually keeping her distance from us ‘’Wouldn’t call whatever you’ve presented necessarily gifts, Cheob.’’

The word she addresses him with, I think has not only me rising an eyebrow in interest. It’s a highly unusual insult to use on a male let along on him. She could have literally used any other name, or cuss word to degrade him and yet this one in particular seems to hold meaning.

‘’Now, now no need for immediate name calling. We’re all civil beings here.’’ He tries to approach this in a polite way not even denying her implication.

‘’Says the man that’s holding my protectee under his hand.’’ I stare at her with widened eyes. Protectee is a term I’ve heard from Jin hyung before when he explained about titles and some laws, we as vampires have. This word reaches out globally, and can have any creature stake a claim of protection to their own species or another one.

‘’Its only out of precaution, you can understand that from my point of view can you not, general L/N? Or should I follow in your footsteps and address you by your real titles huh?’’ she doesn’t even flinch at his teasing as I think he expected her too ‘’The famous Death bringer, Reign ender, Atlantean leviathan and the of course the most known one; the Ghost of Sparta. Just to list a few names ladies and gentlemen.’’ He cheers in the end, clearly wanting to clap but he’s currently preoccupied with having me paralyzed and hostage.

But even without his “help” in the matter of incapacitating me, I’d definitely have to take a moment to process this information as my mind starts running a thousand miles per hour. All of those titles…I’ve heard them. Some from games and the current pop culture, some from Namjoon hyung as his random discoveries during out years together took him around the whole world. He even took time to explain to me whenever I was curious about his studies. None of this makes sense. When I look at Y/N I can’t even begin to imagine her as either one of those things that the titles hold myths about.

‘’Should we add former protector of lowline vampires as well to that list?’’ the shout crawls up on me unexpectedly as his fingers dig into my flesh deeper, nails piercing skin blood quick to raise and start flowing from the open wounds. But that’s barely noticeable in regards of pain tolerance – what fucking gets me to tremble and shake is the amplified pain the electric current that seems to be frying off my nerves is entering my system directly. My body has barely time to heal itself before its being wounded. Besides all that to worry about, the sensation feeling and sort of state of mind fogginess is what creeps me out. Even if I wanted to read into his mind and stop him, right now it feels like it’s next to impossible to even attempt.

The asshole twists his fingers deeper masochistically forcing me to brace myself on my hands as my legs fold into a kneeling position. He keeps me upright enough head still twisted to the right, my neck exposed to anyone. He’s positioned me like a fucking dog, ready to have his head chopped off at any moment.

‘’Spare us the theatrics Cheob, you’ve lost your audiences and so-called loyal followers a while ago. Stop trying to gauge my interest.’’ She replies keeping up a relatively indifferent attitude.

It does cross my mind as things are now coming up to light that she might not even care about me, as much as I care about her. I might be considered a bystander her main goal being Yoongi. Maybe after all she really is involved with him romantically. She seriously might be doing this just because he’s my sire and my death would hurt him more.

‘’C c c, did old age bring you impatience darling daimones?’’ he doesn’t let himself get phased voice turning unnecessarily higher, my breathing remaining harsh due to the constant zaps and what feel like small wildfires spreading and crawling over every inch of me ‘’The night is relatively young. And we haven’t even brough snacks in yet.’’ I bet his grin is menacing – I bet the prick is trying to look intimidating for no good reason. The twitch in Y/N lips is evident to it, as she shifts from one foot to another, bringing her sword to her side properly, still lifted up pointing finger that’s situated on the blade tapping against the metal. She’s imitating her heart beat. Hmm.

‘’Might be Cheob.’’ She says eyes meeting my own for only a second ‘’And as much as we are both fans of drama and its twists and turns it would be very much so appreciated if you’d let go of my coven. Along with Jeongguk-ah first. I’m sure any favours you wish to get granted aren’t worth by killing yourself slowly by holding the youngling hostage hmm?’’

I’m surprised that she knows of his weakness. Even though his ability has been added to the unofficial A list, it comes with a huge downside to it – he’s draining himself as we speak, of his energy and life essence actually. As much as it is threatening the ability is deadly more so for himself.

‘’On the contrary my lovely daimones. You’re worth every drop of blood even if it’s my own at the moment.’’ His reply is way to cheerful, the eerie silence breaking at again an unwanted shout that turn into growling and hissing noises as I breathe heavily, my chest starting to burn. My teeth sharpen unnecessarily, senses somewhat focused, body detached from my mind. This isn’t good. Shit. He’s managing to keep my mind hazy and distracted, and with the onslaught to my body he’s achieving a dissociation to start occurring.

Again, heeding to his warning, my head on its own falls limply forward, the small amount of control that I did have now gone. Even my thinking capabilities are getting leaden ‘’See?’’ he cheers ‘’It is so fun to have the drama the flare, the pain!’’ he taunts shifting me his breath fanning over my exposed neck, as he must have knelt down ‘’To control ones prized possession as a mere rag doll, or dog to be completely frank with you.’’ He’s pissing me off for real now anger spiking over the pain that’s being delivered steadily ‘’And I know that you’ve been looking for him for over a thousand and more years, haven’t you?’’

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, watching as something drips down from my face staring at the first droplet of darker coloured blood as it hits the polished stone floor ‘’You’ve pointed out twists and turns earlier fittingly my lady.’’ He continues on grip starting to become agonizing, the mumbles uncontrollable as is the hiss coming from my chest. His grip shifts to the back of my hair, head being forced to turn upwards ‘’They are unexpected and completely breath taking, aren’t they?’’ his head is close to my own, probably grinning widely like the clown he is.

Opening my eyes narrowly I can see that Y/N is absolutely fuming on the inside, her eyes evidently ablaze in the darkness, rimmed with gold. Her body is at a complete standstill, chest barely moving even thought her heart and breathing are normally functioning. That’s good, that small fact eases my worry. Her posture is exactly the one Yoongi hyung has taught me to hold. Good.

‘’Does he even know sweet Y/N-ah? Opps Y/N-nim. He doesn’t does he?’’

Y/N tilts her head instead the motion sort of familiar as hyung’s have pointed out that I tend to do that whenever I’m confused. She’s not even close to being confused or lost at the moment. Her finger tapping against the metal is still present in the stillness.

‘’You know…’’ she starts intaking a breath calmly ‘’The nickname’s as fun as you find them, do hold a meaning to them Cheob. Yours not so much for yourself but I’ve made peace with my actions.’’ One side of her lips stretches up into a crooked smile, the glint in her eyes frightening as her face shifts into a menacing expression ‘’So are you really ready to test my already thin patience and challenge me Cheob?!’’ she pronounces the last word clearly, and slowly her taunting way more efficient than his one was.

Because of the brief silence that follows it seems as if she struck a nerve, murmurs starting but ending quickly, as my body wants to bend down and over. I start to uncontrollably shake, teeth cracking under the pressure of how tightly my jaw is pressed together. Besides the complete physical shut down, I use my last energy resorts from not calling out to her, or making any noises. Even if she doesn’t care I don’t want her worrying.

‘’Stop calling me that!’’ he snaps the exclaim sort of echoing around ‘’I am Taewang of the Three Kingdoms of Korea, and of the existing kingdom that is today!!! You will address me as such daimones! You are below me in stature and as a being! You will bow down and pledge your immortal life to serve me or face the consequences of your foolishness with the price of your soulmate’s head.’’

His shouting tirade isn’t as frightening as one might think it’d be. Of course, his words do send my blood to run faster, the following probably not promising anything good for Y/N or even my hyungs. If I were alone…I look up at Y/N that looks unphased still. But the smile she was sporting is gone. So is her more leisure position. She has straightened up perfectly, like a soldier, like a fighter with her core balanced, mind in tune. She is ready for anything. Even though her kopis has been put and hidden behind her, the tapping against the metal of the blade still remains.

Wait…wait…soulmate? What is he on about?!! Did I hear him right?

My body begins to buzz when her eyes dart down to me irises bleeding golden. I’m not entirely sure if the room gets brighter or if she has put on a sheet of glow around herself – but I can say for sure that she is absolutely gorgeous, her aura shining, being draped in gold.

‘’Touch him, further and I’ll chop of your tongue.’’ Her tone is rid of the scratchiness that it usually contains ‘’I haven’t made a promise in over a thousand of years but I’m promising you this parasite.’’ I can feel how the Prince tenses behind me hearing the undertone clear in her now more melodic and entrancing voice ‘’If you harm one more hair on his head, I will end you all. And I will do so smiling while I bathe in your blood.’’

The promise sends chills over me, but I’m at my ends here. For the first time since I’ve been turned, I can easily describe this abyss that I’m falling towards as sleepiness. I feel sleepy, on the edge of being pushed or simply blown and sent over the edge into the darkness that is encompassing my vision. The only thing keeping me present is the sort of angelic aura that radiates from Y/N.

I should be concern for myself, for the wellbeing of my hyungs that faintly I start to pick out their voices that seem to be shouting in the back of my mind. But she’s the thief of my attention, my whole meaning of existence. An entity bound to the earth.

‘’Get her!!!!!’’ the man behind me shouts, but it sounds like it’s coming from a bubble. This time as the agony just forces my body to succumb and give in the fight, healing coming to a full stop no shout or call ring out into eeriness that’s replaced with a tantrum of warlike cries.

My gut twists in worry, mind wanting to remain awake and get up and fight – but I’m just so tired. I don’t want to leave her alone.

‘’Jeongguk-ah, Agápi mou closer your eyes.’’ her voice reaches my ears like a sweet lullaby. I can taste sweetness from peaches, and citrus from another fruit on my tongue. My eyes fall closed for a moment – still seeing her eyes which are so beautiful and breath-taking as they focus solemnly onto me. Looking like molten gold, and blazing sun they look at me with gentleness and what’s most important – love. And wanting, and endearment, and, and…

That’s when my word gets consumed by nothingness.

Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 (Final)

Dictionary: Taewang - meaning "Grandest of all Kings" Wangseja - Crown prince, the son of the king who appointed as heir to the throne. Kopis - a heavy knife with a forward-curving blade / the Ancient Greeks often used single-edged blades in warfare, as attested to by art and literature. Geom - is the generic term for "sword", but more specifically also refers to a shorter straight-blade, double-edged sword with a somewhat blunted tip Daimones - The word is derived from Proto-Indo-European *daimon "provider, divider (of fortunes or destinies)," from the root *da- "to divide". Daimons were possibly seen as the souls of men of the golden age acting as tutelary deities In Greek mythology, Chrysaor (English translation: "He who has a golden sword"), was the brother of the winged horse Pegasus Cheob /Korean/ - (in polygamous societies) a woman who lives with a man but has lower status than his wife or wives.

#jeon jungkook x reader #bts jeon jungkook #bts vampire #bts vampire au #yoongi vampire #jungkook x reader #BTS jungkook #bts jungguk #bts jeon jeongguk #jeongguk x reader #bts fanfic #bts fanfction #bts #bts romance

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rigelmejo · 4 years ago

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February Progress Update, March Goals:

(Updated as it’s now the end of the month) How February went:

Chinese novel chapters read in February (so far): 27 (a huge amount! Last month’s was 8. This month - 4 were Guardian, the rest are 寒舍)

Chapters I studied with Listening-Reading Method: 2 (Catch me barely doing L-R and just reading Guardian instead...)

Chinese shows watched: 6. (I expected this number to shoot up and I was right! Word of Honor - tian ya ke adaptation - is airing and I am watching the raws first then the English subs as they release. I’m also maybe going to start Anti Fraud League since I finally finished ep 1. YouTube recommended me another Zhen zhehan drama - he plays Zhou Zishu in woh. It’s called Demon Girl and I’d had it in my list to practice anyway with when I got bored since it’s set 1920-1940s, one of my fave drama settings, featuring a demon heroine in which demons are like mutants who live among us. Which happens to be my LITERAL favorite story setup - mutants/monsters/etc sci fi or supernatural setup in which the story uses it to tell fantastical tales while also commenting on real social issues. Some stories do it better than others - In The Flesh and Bureau of Transformer do excellently, Love and Redemption and Guardian do some fascinating stuff with it, Heroes touches on it only a little compared to Xmen which is known for it, and Merlin often failed to commit to a strong message. But regardless - if a story has this Setup I will ultimately wanna see. So that show definirely has 3 selling points now: my Fave story setup, a heroine as the lead, and an actor I like as the other lead. I also found Mystic Nine and LORD Critical World in HD on a chinese site so I’m very tempted to just watch them in chinese only since it’s more convienient then the english sub links I have for the shows. An interesting update: trying to watch a show this month was easier than in the past - last month I could barely watch Any shows, and before that I distinctly remember shows being harder to catch the details. I watched Anti Fraud League ep 1 fully this month and caught all details roughly without pausing - and like 3 sentences of exposition on main character Mi Huo I paused and replayed the scene just to catch all the chinese subtitles and clarify I understood correctly. I think I got about 90% of the details - because I was a little vague on some word meanings and just guessed on those. And grasped 100% of the overall plot. which is well beyond where I was at month 10-11ish last time I tried watching shows. Also yay! A detective show felt as easy as watching a fluff romance which is so great, because I like this genre much more! Although I am going to give a grateful shout out to Granting You A Dreamlike Life because... while the shows first 15 eps I did watch are Not My Thing, I watched it like 8+ months into learning and it was both a challenge and easy enough TO watch and keep watching. Which made it great for improving. I really think it helped a lot. And I also think... at this point I probably could rewatch guardian without eng subs and be fine. When I watch shan he ling today I guess I’ll find out if I can handle a wuxia plot though without eng subs lol)

Japanese Audio listened to: 14 (no change, this is since start of year)

Personal books read: 11 (since 2021 started - so 6 books in February. I have been reading SO MUCH lately, I’m really excited? I’ve been meaning to read so many of my books I just hadn’t gotten around to it. This is also likely to increase as I’m about to finish dmbj 2 next time I pick it up).

Some other things:

@a-whump-muffin u inspired me and sometime soon I will be trying to play KH in japanese again, and looking at ur super amazing grammar guide u made ToT (I might try nier automata if its bearable just because I’m playing all the drakengard/nier games right now but... the language is a lot more sci fi so i’m not sure that’d go well... also i want to check if my final fantasy type-0 has japanese language settings...). But like... I am definitely up for looking at a grammar guide, and looking up words on my phone as I play. Now that’s a study method i could DO maybe ToT and also like!!! ultimately i want to do it anyway!!! i just figured it would be drowning and chickened out! but like. to study doing what u wanted to do anyway in the language??!!! wowwww ;-; i mean that’s basically why i’m reading chinese but u get the idea

Other japanese updates: I’m still listening to quickleur I just haven’t done any listening lately (u can tell by the L-R status above lol). It did help a lot though even the bits I listened to, as far as refreshing my mind on particles and verb endings. And the explanation on sentence structures u gave @a-whump-muffin !! (who is god tier if ur studying japanese they are <3 <3 )

Part of the ‘personal books read’ goal - I’m counting any textbooks I read in that category, in the hopes if I frame it in my head as reading for personal interest instead of studying, I will do it. Ideally I would LIKE to read my DeFrancis Chinese books, Chinese Nature Method grammar book, Chinese Sentence Patterns book, 2 books I just ordered, my japanese reading books (the 1st one a good refresher the 2nd one literally could be... my textbook for years its got so much). Those chinese books in part because WOW I am so used to so much grammar in context when reading, but when I go to produce language I’m a hot MESS. And I think just like... I really should read those books and fill in the gaps in my understanding and like solidify the correct understanding of what I can comprehend. Sometime.... I ALSO should read my Alan Hoenig chinese characters book. But will I???? AHA. I forgot to mention in my last reading post - but brute forcing learning the hanzi has been going fine actually. I was concerned just looking up hanzi when reading, that I would struggle to learn the new ones. But I can confirm that reading has gotten easier, and I’ve picked up a LOT of hanzi I was previously brute force looking up repeatedly while reading. So like... as long as this keeps working, I’ll keep doing it. I’m very lazy and the path with least resistance and mental exhaustion is what I’ll keep doing, if it works, even if it might be slower. (Although I do think the hanzi books I have are very useful and have helped me speed up progress when I used them).

I learned how to make gifs this month and I’m overwhelmed with all the stuff I could try to do? Idk its very cool i’m very excited about it.

Goals for March:

Basically, we’re sticking to the quite steady study plan I’ve had the past few months, which has boiled down to: read chinese, L-R, listen/watch if desired, do something listening related in japanese if desired. It’s not well rounded or anything but I’m making steady progress and its easy to keep doing.

Anything in bold is what I’m doing right now/likely to do (although we know how often I just derail).

Read chinese novels. (This can include Guardian. Currently includes: hanshe, guardian. On hiatus: Tian Ya Ke).

Listen-Read Guardian. (Reading guardian in Any way is the priority so if this happens yay, but if it doesn’t I’ll be happy if I’m still working through guardian and just postponing the listening part).

Optional. Play video game in japanese, use a dictionary and grammar guide when confused af. This one’s imminently likely just because the instant I get Nier remastered I’m playing it, and also playing Nier Automata etc games, so like... the opportunity and desire to play the japanese versions of games I want to do that with WILL hit me.

Optional. Watch chinese shows. This one’s also likely because a priest novel drama adaptation just dropped (Word of Honor, shan he ling, tian ya ke/Faraway Wanderer’s adaptation) and I don’t want to wait for the english subs.

Optional - unlikely (I’m not in the mood to listen to stuff lol). Audios. Keep listening to Japanese Quicksleur when there’s down time (like playing games), and Chinese Spoonfed audio if I feel like it.

Personal. Keep reading while I’ve got the motivation to. I am really enjoying getting through all these books I’ve wanted to read for so long.

BELOW I will eventually link a list of story recs (also see tag rec list for more):

Poyun 破云 (recced)

Poyun 破云 2

一级律师 by 木苏里 (recced)

盗墓笔记 series

默读 by priest

他们的故事 by 一根黄瓜丝儿

寒舍 by 夏灬安兰 pingxie supernatural au

818 (pingxie)

鎮魂 by priest (chapter 4)

天涯客 by priest

Qi Ye 七爷 by priest

六爻 by priest

FGEP

犹记斐然 foxghost rec

一受封疆 foxghost rec

女主大人我错 gl

将军府小妾生存报告 gl

夜半衣寒 by 夏灬安兰 pingxie (can u tell i like this author)

(瓶邪同人)所谓一切发生在网配+番外 (writer and radio voicer pingxie au)

死亡万花筒 kaleidoscope of death

将军府小妾生存报告

女主大人，我错了

魔女霓裳

公主饶命 GL

民政局领到了媳妇

In progressing difficulty, books I want to read and should be ready to read now, a la foxghost’s recommendations:

那些風花雪月 by Gong Zi Huan Xi (took 14 months of study before I tried to read this, did try, did not click with me lol)

不正當關係 by Gong Zi Huan Xi (foxghost said this was the same difficulty as the story above, so I’m probably ready for this one too).

*SCI 谜案集 by ErYa (I’ve heard this somewhat easy to read, is a good story, and since its case-centered I think it would be a good intro to later reading books like Silent Reading by Priest)

龍圖案卷集 by ErYa (There is an audiobook on Ximalaya!)

黑風城戰記 by ErYa (sequel to novel above)

Then the recommendation says you should probably watch a lot of shows for some vocab (I sort of do so I’ll see how that helps me out), and you can start tackling xianxia, like Priest’s “六爻, and then 鎮魂, then 殺破狼, and pretty much any other of GZHX’s works.” I would guess this point is when Tian Ya Ke would be more my reading level, when 六爻 is, at the beginning. I would guess after 鎮魂 is when I could try to tackle Can Ci Pin. Sha Po Lang is steampunk and fantasy, so I would guess it has some of the sci fi type words - so if I’d be ready for that, I might be ready for Can Ci Pin at the same time.

#march goals #march study plan #february goals #study plan #february progress #rec list #march

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haberdashing · 5 years ago

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Like Emptiness In Harmony

TMA AU of 160. When Jon wakes up after that statement, he finds that he’s changed just as the world around him has.

on AO3

Jon came back to himself... no, that wasn’t right; Jon’s self was far too nebulous a concept for that. How many weeks, months, years had passed since he’d truly been himself, free of influence by eldritch powers? Had he even truly been himself before he’d joined the Magnus Institute, or had he been controlled by the Web back then, too? Would he even recognize his true self, his human self, anymore? (Were his true self and his human self even the same thing these days?)

Jon came back to consciousness on the floor of the safehouse, with Martin standing over him, and for a brief second things seemed alright, seemed as normal as they ever were, before he saw the terror in Martin’s eyes and remembered what he’d read out loud before passing out and knew (lower-case) that something had gone terribly wrong.

The details were still fuzzy in Jon’s mind, though, and as Jon struggled to put the pieces together, to wake up more fully and figure out exactly what kind of trouble he was in this time, he was only able to say a single word.

“Martin.”

But... but it didn’t sound right, somehow. The word was clear enough, luckily, it wasn’t like he was trying to spit it out through a gagged mouth (which was a sensation Jon unfortunately knew all too well thanks to Nikola), but the tone was off. Jon was confused and curious and scared, but when he called out Martin’s name, none of that came through. Instead, his voice sounded... smug, smug and vaguely condescending, much closer to the sort of tone he would have used to dismiss Martin before Prentiss’ attack than the one he’d meant to adopt now.

“Jon?” Jon wasn’t sure how much of the uncertainty he heard in Martin’s voice just then was real and how much of it was just his mind projecting. Probably some of both there.

Jon cleared his throat and tried again.

“Martin.”

It came out the same as before--exactly the same as before, actually, his tone and enunciation both identical to when he’d said Martin’s name before, as much so as if he’d recorded it before and simply played it back again instead of actually speaking anew.

An analogy that, when Jon examined it more closely, seemed entirely too on the nose.

“My god.”

He said the words only partially because they were what he actually wanted to say; if Jon were free to speak his mind, his speech would probably be significantly less coherent right now, and filled with half-formed questions. But this would have to do at short notice, combining actual meaning with a way to test his current theory.

Sure enough, he was able to say those words just fine, just as he had... how long ago was it, now? Minutes, hours, an eternity ago? And with them came that same smug, self-congratulatory tone, one that almost made Jon want to punch himself in the face for sounding like that. But it wasn’t really himself that he wanted to punch in the face at the moment, just as it hadn’t been himself, exactly, who had first said those words. It was his voice, sure, but the words themselves, the mind behind them, were not his own.

Jon opened his mouth to say Fuck Jonah Magnus, but was far from surprised to find that the words refused to cross the gap between his mind and the world around him.

It was all starting to come together, now. It didn’t click, per se, just continued on the progression from lazy analogy to hunch to theory to something just shy of a dark certainty.

Why did nobody ever swear in the statements, goddammit?

Though that- that wasn’t quite true, was it, there were one or two instances in there where-

And then it clicked. Jon Knew, then, what he could and couldn’t say, the exact limits of his strange new vocabulary. (Or... not new, really. None of these words were new to him. Perhaps he would never say anything new again.)

“Jon, are you alright?”

Even Knowing what he could say didn’t mean controlling his speech was easy, though. It was a little like trying to conduct a conversation by flipping through a dictionary, having to find just the right word in its pages every time a new one was needed.

“No. No, of course not.” The words were right, or close enough at any rate, but the tone was all wrong, and it wasn’t even Jon’s own voice this time, the voice and words of a now-dead man leaving his lips instead.

Jon laughed, then, and that at least sounded normal enough... well, for a certain definition of normal, at any rate. It sounded sharp and cold and full of fear, without a hint of humor to be found, and that wasn’t normal for a laugh, no, but it was what Jon had intended at any rate, a sound that was still all his own.

“Jon, you’re, you’re scaring me a bit, something about your voice seems weird...” Oh, good, he noticed that much at least. “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know... and it makes me very afraid.” At least it was his voice again, now, not that of... well. Jon wanted to call Mike Crew a killer, a monster, but those weren’t exactly distinguishing features, were they? Martin probably didn’t even recognize the voice that Jon had adopted a moment ago; it’s not as if he’d had the chance to chat up Mike before Daisy killed him.

“Right. Alright. Well then, er... is, is there anything I can do to help?”

Jon laughed, and this time there was humor to it, or at least levity, despite the world having gone wrong, despite his voice no longer being entirely his own, because no matter what Martin was still Martin, trying to help, putting Jon’s well-being above all else, even when the world was quite possibly falling to pieces around them.

“I am unsure if I will... be able to stand myself up again.” Between the words and the hand extended in Martin’s direction, Jon hoped that the instruction would be clear enough.

Evidently it was, as Martin took his hand, helping pull Jon off of the floor and back onto his feet. It took more effort than it should have, Jon thought, Martin grunting and breathing heavily by the end of it despite past jokes about how easy it was to pick Jon up, but it worked, though Martin’s whole body was shaking by the end of it. (Jon wasn’t sure whether said shaking was even entirely physical in nature, truth be told.)

Jon half-walked, half-stumbled his way forward.

“No, no, no--don’t, don’t go outside. It’s--it’s real bad.”

Outside had never been Jon’s destination, however, though Martin seemed to believe otherwise. Jon didn’t want to go outside, to experience the horrors that had now been unleashed upon the world outside their cabin. He simply wanted to... Jon had to suppress a bout of hysterical laughter as it occurred to him that he simply wanted to see what had happened, to watch the chaos unfold, and wasn’t that all too fitting...

The view outside the nearest window was enough to confirm all of Jon’s worst suspicions. The world had been torn apart, all the fears unleashed upon it to wreak havoc, all because of what he’d just read out loud (all because of him).

“My god.” It felt wrong, somehow, using the words of the man who had orchestrated this apocalypse to describe it, but Jon didn’t have much in the way of alternatives at his disposal.

“I don’t know if it’s just here, or-”

“No. No...” Between trying to put the world’s destruction into words and trying to translate what words he could come up with into something said in the statements, Jon struggled to speak, though it didn’t show in his voice when he did manage to string a few more words together. “...the populated world... edged with a strange, creeping fear... far, far away...”

“Is that Peter’s voice? Jon, don’t... just, please don’t.” Martin laughed briefly, though Jon could see that his eyes were filling with tears. “I, I think I’ve heard enough from him already, thanks.”

Jon nodded enthusiastically, went to apologize, realized that even a simple “I’m sorry” was beyond his reach now, settled for “I was an idiot.” instead.

“Don’t say that. You’re not an idiot for not thinking of it, it’s just...” Martin let out a long sigh. “Jon, I’m scared.”

“...fear can just become as routine as hunger... I felt every feeling... They overwhelmed me... my impact on the world... my failure...” Jon switched between different statements, different voices, desperate to find the words to explain what had happened, what the world had become and how it was all his own fault. The end result felt like almost as great a failure as what it was purporting to describe, but it was an attempt, at least. It would have to do.

Martin wrapped one arm around Jon’s shoulder; Jon briefly considered pushing it off because he was about the last person who deserved to be comforted now, when he was the one who had caused so much pain and suffering, but decided against it because that would hurt Martin’s feelings more than it would appease his own, and he couldn’t exactly explain his own thought process to Martin at the moment.

“You’re not a failure, Jon. No matter what this is, no matter what else happens, you’re not a failure.”

Jon laughed and shook his head and laughed some more, a laugh that kept threatening to turn into a sob as he looked out at the ruins of the world he had wrecked entirely.

“And with each act of glorious, hateful destruction, I felt my god’s love embrace me, consume me... ”

Jon pointed to the sky, to the giant eye that now engulfed it.

“It’s still there, still watching me.”

The laugh that kept threatening to turn into a sob finally did so after a long minute, and as it did the tears that had been building in Martin’s eyes began to flow, and the two men threw their arms around each other, holding one another for comfort as they cried over the loss of their world.

#tma #tma au #tma fic #tma fanfic #the magnus archives #the magnus archives au #the magnus archives fic #the magnus archives fanfic #personal #my writing

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coepiteamare · 5 years ago

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the dictionary of lovers - confirmation (n)

pairing: jungkook x oc

genre: romance, fluff, mild angst (i don’t know what the other entries will look like)

warnings: none for this one!

notes: inspired by David Leviathan’s The Lovers Dictionary.

word count: .8k

summary: a nonlinear recollection of the ups and downs of our relationship in short snippets. alternatively titled: love letters i wrote but never sent you..

confirmation (n)

Sometimes it came in the form of an action.

We had a rather heated debate at IKEA about the curtains we were trying to buy for our apartment, the first time you and I had ever decided to live with a significant other: you wanted the black curtains—"it’ll prevent the sunlight from waking me when I want to sleep in”—but I wanted the white ones—“it’ll make our room look much more open and airy”—and we made our way around the entire store still talking about what color curtains to get.

“White gets dusty and dirty too often and, besides, you’ll find a way to stain it in a week, tops,” you dragged your black booted feet as you pushed the cart away from the section.

“The black ones look so stuffy! And what if I want the light to stream in? You can sleep through anything anyways!” I tugged on your shirt. “They say natural sunlight is good for the human body.”

You looked at me and sighed, “how about we come back to the curtains? We still have other things to look at.” But you knew that once I was set on something, there was no going back.

Sure enough, the entire walk around IKEA, I couldn’t and wouldn’t shut up about the damn curtains, even when we made our way to the end of the store. “White would make our room seem much bigger and it would make it open and even when it’s gloomy-” “we live in Los Angeles babe; there’s only a two week period of gloom.” I pouted, “maybe I just wanted to see you wrapped in light.”

“What was that?,” you put things on to the conveyor belt.

“Nothing, nothing.”

To my surprise, when I came home the next day, flopping on to the sofa and bemoaning my coworkers, I saw that the blinds in our apartment had been replaced with the white, lacy curtains I had wanted.

You ran from the kitchen and flung yourself on to me, shrieks filling the apartment as you poked and tickled me and I tried to fight back. “I thought we decided to just stick with the blinds for a while longer!” I pushed you off me and we both sat up.

You reached for me and pulled me on to your lap, laughing. “You’re cute when you pout,” you bopped my nose, “and you’re right. It probably would be better to have white curtains so that we can fight the gloom and doom of the world outside.” You squished my cheeks and laughed when I squeaked and tried to pull my face away. “I’d give you the world if I could make you smile, so giving up black curtains seems like a small price to pay.”

Sometimes it came in the form of words.

Laziness seeped in through the window on a Saturday morning, and I blinked away the sleep that was still latching on to me. As I turned around, I could make out your figure in between the wisps of my eyelashes: white light streamed in through the curtains, wrapping you in a soft halo, as if I didn’t already think you were an angel. You slept peacefully, chest rising and falling with each breath. I tried to match my breath to yours as I gently brushed your hair out of your eyes. You stirred gently and reached up to lace your fingers with mine.

“rise and shine sleepyhead,” I laughed. “What do you want to do for breakfast?”

You moaned and covered your eyes with your arm, not letting go of my hand. “Its too early to think about anything”

I laughed, drawing a whine out from you when I pull my hand out of your grip to ruffle your hair, and checked the time. “It’s 12:30. We can either go out to eat or make pancakes?”

“Does this mean I can have breakfast in bed?” you grinned, finally uncovering your eyes to rub at them.

I threw my pillow at your face. “You can scramble the eggs while I make the batter.”

“hey babe?”

“yeah?”

“I love you.”

3 small words from a boy rubbing his eyes in the afternoon glow, morning breath lingering on his tongue, and my heart pounded loud enough to fill a concert stadium.

“you still have to scramble the eggs.”

Other times, it came in the form of silence.

Like the time I asked you, “were you ever going to tell me Jungkook?” I didn’t need to look at your face to see the answer. You gave it to me in your silence, the way you tried to say something—anything—but couldn’t. I watched as you opened and closed your mouth, and I bit my lip and tried to hold in my tears. Your silence told me everything, even the things I didn’t want to hear.

#tdol #the dictionary of lovers #jungkook fic #jungkook #jungkook scenario #bts fic #jungkook fluff #bangtan fic #bangtan scenario #jungkook imagine #bangtan imagine #bts scenario #bts imagine

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stonecoldhedwig · 4 years ago

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Et puis, épuisée // And then, exhausted

This article was posted in the summer of 2019 by Pauline Harmange, but it’s something that has resonated with me ever since I read it in August 2020. I find myself returning to it, thinking about it.

There’s one phrase that hums around in my head a lot from it: J’aurais pu faire sans toutes les micro-agressions d’un quotidien qui n’a pas de place pour les doutes. J’aurais pu apprendre dans la douceur. // I could have done without all the micro-aggressions of a daily life that has no room for doubt. I could have learned gently.

I’ve translated it into English below (thank you, trusty French dictionary), trying to keep the tone of the original piece in mind. Numbered footnotes are the author’s, asterixes are mine.

Tw: abortion; pregnancy; sexism

For several weeks, I’ve been trying to write this article, and I can’t find the right angle. I want, or even need, to talk about the questions I’ve been posing to myself for months now about femininity, about what it is to be a woman at the moment, but how do I talk about all this without falling into an incredible pathos? I feel so out-of-touch with Insta accounts and the warrior-witch-superwoman trend, I don’t know how to articulate these intense, almost negative emotions that come over me as soon as I start to think about it.

Because I’m going to be very honest: right now, I’m exhausted by being a woman.

Before I became a feminist, I was a girl, and that was enough*; it didn’t cause me any headaches. Once I became a feminist, I had to question a lot of things: why I denigrated girls more feminine than me, why I forced myself to wax when I didn’t like it, why I let men comment on my appearance and didn’t stand up for myself, or why I was scared when I was out on the street by myself. It was tiring, but I didn’t feel myself being overwhelmed by the weight of a burden too heavy for me. The truth was that I needed to take breaks. To create sacred rituals that celebrated my period, or to read books with hypernormative gender representations, so as to forget for a few seconds the numbers that made me feel sick (which numbers? Simply put, all of them, because they are all horrible).

And then, I was betrayed by my own flesh. I got pregnant when I had an IUD. (1) I experienced a heartbreak that it is illusory to want to put into words: the heartbreak of ending a pregnancy that should never have occurred, even though I’ve wanted a child for a long time. I nurtured, and still nurture, a black anger towards this life (this society, too) for forcing me to make a choice I don’t regret. How complicated life is.

And ever since that moment, I have had the feeling that life is becoming even more complicated. I feel like I’m suffering. Suffering because my body has struggled to recover from its tiny 5 weeks of pregnancy. Suffering because of my Polycystic Ovary Syndrome, which ruins my life, as well as suffering from my contraception because no matter where I look, there’s no ideal solution. I am suffering the after-effects of an anorexic adolescence, strewn with bad people, which has crippled the way I look at myself. I suffer that mental load, always so strong, when my IUD is removed and I have to calculate the risk, and deal with the terror of getting pregnant again, the reminders on my phone not to forget my pill, waiting for the next period. I suffer the mood swings, the water retention, the irritability, I suffer that sticky feeling every month before I bleed, of not being able to do anything, especially of not being able to create.

I am even more affected than before by what I already felt: that I am a woman, socialised as such, and that if I want to exist in this world, I must constantly do violence** to myself. In a utopian version of life, I wouldn't need to force myself to speak louder, I wouldn't need to fake it till I make it, I wouldn't have to take on more masculine ways and a self-confidence that I don't have. Because in a utopian version of life, doubts, fragility, sadness and uncertainty would be respected, and I would not be encouraged to be someone other than myself. My body betrays me there again (unless it’s just too faithful this time): whenever I’m confronted with a situation where I don’t want to have to pretend, I sweat a bitter sweat that confirms to me I’m going against what I am. I was going to say “against my nature”, but that’s not it; against my culture, perhaps, or against what I was educated to be. (2)

I'm exhausted by being a feminist, but then again, what can I do about it? I cannot take a vacation from my downtrodden condition, nor from my empathy for the horrible things happening all over the world. I am exhausted though, and angry too, for being a permanent spokesperson for my cause but speaking in an echo chamber. Writing those feminist articles that only women will read. Reading those feminist books and talking about them with other women. I don't listen to any feminist podcasts, by the way, because I'm fed up with content that doesn't teach me much (3) and I'm sickened to see so few men taking their place (silent and humble) in the discussion. What good are all these podcasts and all these articles and all these books, if it's women who buy them, consume them and then regurgitate them to the men around them? Who compensates for the time spent, the energy wasted in teaching men too lazy, too selfish and too vain to educate themselves? (4)

Maybe that's why I don't identify at all with movements of self-gratitude or of celebrating femininity. Being a woman and realising it has made me harder on myself and on others (for example, I really don't have any patience with men anymore, and I’m not ready to apologise). Certainly, I'm stronger, too. I know better how to say no, I know my body better, I have much better tools to manage conflicts than the ones I started with, I let myself do less and I pretend better. But I am convinced that I could have acquired all this knowledge without the violence inherent in a society that does not really want us, we who are not able-bodied, old and wealthy cis-straight white men. I could have done without all the micro-aggressions of a daily life that has no room for doubt. I could have learned gently.

There are, of course, unexpected joys that being a woman brings me. When I read an excellent book written by a brilliant woman, I am overcome with the emotion of being inspired, and I also allow myself (which I never would have done before) to include myself in the circle of these creative women, I allow myself to feel close to them. When I think of the women around me, incredible in their strength, their refusal to compromise, their talents, I am filled with incredible gratitude, because I finally know how to recognise that the work, the luck and the happiness of my sisters do not diminish the value of mine.

But I’ve never had the courage to be a role model, an “inspiring” woman. To exist, women must either fit into boxes (do we really exist then?), or get out of them in a total, radical and claimed way. So much work, once again. I was thinking about this issue this summer as I considered my body hair: to shave? not to shave? I realised that as soon as I went out with visible hairy legs, I tended to dress better, do my hair, and even put on makeup, thus carrying the image of an assumed feminist, whose hair is a message, a standard. Actually, I'm just a big slacker with hyperpilosity, but without my drastic disguise, I was afraid I would simply portray an image of a neglected woman.

It makes no sense, it's not even a liberation anymore. I am discouraged.

I know that it's my fault too, it’s up to me to take a step back and let go, and that my anger and exhaustion are symptoms to deal with, not necessarily emotions from which I will draw positive things in order to move forward. (5) Still, I am where I am today. At war. Feeling like I’m not very far from losing, by the way.

I'm going to take a vacation (from the internet, from life, and from myself) and put things back in an order that makes sense. Who knows, maybe if I put my head deep enough in the sand, when I bring it out in September, the patriarchy will have been abolished? We can but dream.

________________________

(1) Yes, it does happen, but no, it’s not common. Whenever I mention it, women around me who have an IUD look at me in horror and I feel compelled to reassure them, as if I was the only one in the world to whom this could happen. This is not the case, and I do not have the energy to reassure, I’m afraid.

(2) You might call it “stepping out of your comfort zone”, but listen, after a while staying in your comfort zone doesn’t strike me as a delusion-like desire***.

(3) I'm not saying that to brag; it's just that after almost 10 years of feminism and a passion for reading, I'm relatively familiar with a lot of the topics that are now more mainstream.

(4) You don’t need to write to tell me “not all men”. Thank you in advance!

(5) We could talk forever about the idea of “positive”, about how it is often a way of silencing our anger and sweeping away injustices, and that it is a new, fashionable way of policing women, but hey... we need another article for that, and this is not it.

________________________

*the term used in the original article is basta; the Italian for stop. I've treated it as an equivalent of ça suffit, or “that’s enough”.

**I was a bit iffy on whether this should be do violence to or violate so French speakers who are less rusty than me, please forgive me xoxo

***It honestly took me about twenty four reads to work out what this sentence meant, but I did learn the verb “to strike”, so there we are.

#tw abortion #tw pregnancy #tw sexism #feminism #french to english

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writing-marvel · 7 years ago

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Dating Peter Parker..{Headcanons}

Author: @writing-marvel

Character(s): Peter Parker/Reader, Michelle MJ Jones

Word Count: 913

Notes: Brief mentions of Peter Parker smut and I know some people are against that but it is very clearly marked so y’all can just skip over that if you don’t want to read it.

PDA

Peter is pretty low-key with PDA when you first start dating

He's just too nervous to even hold your hand

He just links his pinky with yours and blushes

And so this becomes your way of holding hands

When he's nervous, worried, happy, whatever it is, he'll just lace his pinky with yours tightly

He eventually becomes a bit bolder though

And he will out his arm around your waist, or your shoulders

He presses kissed to your temple, cheek, nose, forehead, lips, anywhere

Only really chaste kisses, he saves everything else for when you're alone

He always likes to be touching you in some way, to confirm you're still there

He will rest his hand on your thigh in class

Or at the table during lunch

On the train

Watching a film

Peter is huge on cuddling

He doesn't care where you are if you want to be cuddled he will sit on the ground and pull you into his arms and hold you so tightly you can't breathe

Getting shouted at for cuddling during gym class

And in the library

And that time when you both fell asleep on the decathlon bus

Saying ‘I love you’ was really hard for Peter at first because he was scared to admit how much he cared for you in fear of losing you

He said it the first time during another Captain America gym test

Peter was doing pull-ups on the bar, talking to Ned about you when you wandered over and he didn't realise because he thought you were still hanging with Michelle

“It's been five weeks and I still haven't told her I love her, Ned, I'm such a wi-”

“Love you too, Pete, but you might wanna slow down on the bar there.”

Watching as he falls to the floor in a fit of coughing and shock.

After that it becomes something he refuses to stop saying

Mumbling ‘I love you’ to each other as often as you blink

Everyone just gets used to it

Everyone secretly thinking y'all are cute as fuck

Being careful not to get caught kissing Spider-Man by anyone with a camera

Being careful not to be seen with Spider-Man full stop

Doing the Spider-Man kiss when no one is looking, though.

HANGING OUT

Usually at his apartment

You guys just order food in or cook at home

May chooses the films

She’s always part of the evening

Sometimes it’s movie night or game night

Peter also loves going shopping with you, he won't even deny it

Carrying all your bags

He makes a day-trip of it

He likes going to get food and such too

Doing your homework together

Really quickly so you can spend the rest of the time cuddling

And making-out

Staying over on weekends and being super-tired because you stayed up all night watching movies

Getting worried when Peter doesn’t come to get patched up until late at night.

Getting mad when he’s beat up

But he knows your anger is not aimed at him, but at the perps

Make-up make-out sessions and he stays over

SEX

Losing your virginities to each other

A special gift for his 17th birthday

Peter was so nervous, for the first few times he was a bumbling mess

He has a secretly dominant side

If he’s jealous he’ll mark you up so everyone knows who you belong to

If he’s angry, it’s pretty rough sex, and it’s great

Sometimes, he’s just tired from duties, you take charge

He won't say it, but he loves when you ride him

It’s his third favourite position

Lazy morning sex with Peter

Only when May/your parents are out

Waking him up to a blowjob

Waking up with his head or hand between your thighs

Morning hAIR

mOrNinG VoiCe

Your foreplay was just kissing

Until Michelle got nosy

And literally fucking snorted

Peter was so red in the face, but he swallowed his pride and spoke to her after class..

It got pretty interesting after that.

Peter is a huge, damn tease.

Sometimes during class, he will get you worked up

Only for the bell to signal the next class

And he leaves with a wink

He has a slight voyeurism kink.

He liked to swing you around the city late at night (and find interesting places to fuck)

AFTERCARE

Cuddling

SO MUCH CUDDLING

He loves giving you his clothes to wear

He particularly loves when you wear his nerdy shirts

Or his sweatpants

Even his socks

He so attentive

“Do you need anything?”

“Are you cold?”

“Wanna’ watch a film?”

He will literally carry you around.

He has a pack of bobbles and hair clips by his bed

Just in case you want to tie your hair up

He loves when you do because you look so cute with your messy hair

Just cupping your cheek and holding your face

Telling you how beautiful he thinks you are

PICK UP LINES HE LIKES TO USE

“You're like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life.”

“With my IQ and your body we could begin a race of genetic superchildren to conquer the earth.”

“...”

“I’m also Spider-Man.. so..”

“I'm attracted to you so strongly, scientists will have to develop a fifth fundamental force.”

“Damn girl, I must be reading a book because you are FINE print.”

“Here is my library card, because I’m checking you out.”

“70 percent of the human body is made up of water and I'm very thirsty.

#peter parker #peter parker x reader #tom holland peter parker #peter parker smut #tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland spiderman #peter parker imagine #peter parker spiderman #tom holland x reader #tom holland spider-man homecoming

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captpoonam · 4 years ago

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Learn The Magic & Worth Of Kind Words

The words we use in our daily lives are effective. They can either break or create relationships with ourselves and others. Self-awareness is our self-talk is one of the strongest ways of self-love and self-compassion. Let us make a wise choice of our phrases.

The correct words spoken in the correct way will bring us happiness, wealth, and appreciation, while the wrong words — or even the appropriate language is spoken in the wrong way — may lead to a country at war. If we want to accomplish our ideas and implement our visions to reality, we must cautiously organize our voice.

And don't neglect today that a kind word can be used to mean strength over someone's life. And it will add power to those who can't find it inside themselves.

Without language, an idea will never be a reality. This is what that we have been told throughout history, which talks of 'God'—whatever a word may imply to you—saying 'let there be light' and thereby providing light.

So, what can we gain from all this? Are we meant to choose the very best words in a way to construct our very best essence?

The Strength of keywords and expressions

Our perceptions also have an effect on what we represent in our lives. Yet it can be said that the true force lies in our voices. It is our words that are the brazen expression of our deepest feelings.

They are a sign to the world that we see people, our lives, and ourselves. It is this impactful confirmation that our words offer that encourages our thoughts to express themselves in reality. Then why are we deciding to exploit our most valuable asset?

3 Great ways to use the phrase

1. Selecting Your Words Smart

● As a culture, we are trained to speak about our sufferings and troubles. We take our impressions of events, of people and of ourselves, and express them to the world, putting them into reality.

➢ So with that fact, when we are complaining or talking about our lives to someone, we are placing some harsh terms out there to make it a reality. When you utter something loud enough times, your statements become the reality, not just in your own view, but in the thoughts of all of you, too.

➢ If that's so, then question yourself — do you really want to convince yourself and everybody else you know you are unhappy in love, bad, depressed, lonely, or whatever else you are worried about? Specifically, now that you know that these are the very keywords that make up the life that you live?

➢ Start picking the words you say deliberately. Experience better self-awareness of the words you use to describe yourself and your life. Poor, weak terms like 'can't, 'won't,' 'shouldn't' and 'don't' all need to be prevented. They rob you of your right to build the life you want to live.

➢ As the maker of your world, that's what you mean. So next time you mess up on using insulting words, recover command, and structure your word choices so that they have a much more beneficial effect on life.

➢ For example, if you would normally say things like 'I am unhealthy and overweight,' then why not twist this into a more effective, productive comment like 'I am in the process of being healthier, and every day I get closer and closer to my ideal weight.'

➢ Your words are the painting in which you depict your truth. Choose these words carefully and confidently to build a truth that is right for you. Your words are the painting in which you depict your truth. Choose these words carefully and confidently to build a truth that is right for you.

2. ‘I Am What I Am' This is Me

➢ State who you are, your goals, your desires, and your achievements with two of the most important words a human will ever express – 'I am.'

➢ These two little but extremely strong words can be considered the most valuable words you have in your whole dictionary. If we finish the term 'I am ...' describes who we are to ourselves and to those around us.

➢ Yes, when you say 'I am...fat/lazy/shy' or 'I am...smart/confident/successful/happy,' this is the very reality that you make for yourself. It doesn't matter if there's any honesty in the language you utter, how you complete those two small words is how you describe your existence.

➢ Then why don't you pick a better word for yourself? Know what you are and what you aspire to be, beginning each morning with a constructive encouragement starting with the magical words 'I Am.'

3. Express From Your Heart

When we think about our position in life, talk impatiently, or use harsh terms, we generally do something from a position of panic. So, the first step you need to take to overcome this is to have greater self-awareness with the words you use.

Next time you open your mouth to argue or to put yourself or anyone down, ask yourself:

Why am I going to say this?

Is it going to help me or my happiness?

Ask yourself these two crucial questions, and you can no longer realize that you are simply acting out of panic. This is the feeling that you're not good enough, the feeling that you're in the wrong profession, the wrong choice, etc.

Most important, you will understand that by sharing your worries, you will do little about your satisfaction. Your thoughts will only make you feel bad and more deeply reflect these doubts in your mind.

Choose the words bravely, carefully, and sweetly. Often talk from a place of love; to yourself, to your life, and to others. Your words are directly linked to your universe, so use them carefully.

Get the instant motivational doze and explore now.

#Motivational Speaker #Best motivational Speaker #Motivationa Speaker in Delhi #captpoonam #Golden Girl

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phynxrizng · 8 years ago

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NINE NOBLE VIRTUES

Nine Noble Virtues

The Odinic Rite lists the 9 Noble Virtues as Courage, Truth, Honor, Fidelity, Discipline, Hospitality, Industriousness, Self-Reliance, and Perseverance.

It would be hard to get much argument on any of these values from anyone. They simply and briefly encapsulate the broad wisdom of our Gods and ancestors.

In virtually every statement of values applied to Asatru, Courage is listed first. As Stephen McNallen has said, courage and bravery are perhaps the values which the Vikings are best known for. However, despite our history, few of us face such turmoil as a literal battle for ones life. In fact, I believe it might be easier to manifest courage in such a situation than to do so in the many smaller day to day occurrences in which courage is called for.

The most common of these occurrences for modern Pagans, is the courage to acknowledge and live ones beliefs. It is also, sadly, the one that we most often fail at. While we may often be full of the type of courage that would lead us to face a shield wall, many of us quake at the thought of the topic of religion coming up at the office or a friend asking what church we attend. We won't offer easy answers, but we ask this: if you toast the courage of your ancestors to fight and die for what they believed in, can you trade away your religious identity for a higher salary or social acceptance?

In an essay on values there is also the question of moral courage. The way of Tyr is difficult to lose ones hand for ones beliefs but, Tyr thought the price worth paying. In a million ways modern society challenges our values, not just as Asatruar who are estranged from mainstream religious practice, but for religious people in an increasingly not just secular, but anti-religious culture. Values are also not in favor in modern society. Breaking or getting around the rules is encouraged to get ahead. Living honorably is simply too inconvenient. I think most people, Asatru or otherwise, find this repugnant, but the only way to change it is to have the courage to refuse to take part in it.

The second virtue, that of Truth, is the one that most led our kindred to embrace the Odinic Rite's statement of values as our own. Early in our discussions, we decided that no matter what values we chose to hold out as our own, truth must be among them. It is a word that holds so much in its definition, and includes such a wide variety of moral and philosophical beliefs that we were all drawn to it as a simple statement of what we

At least one of the reasons we wanted to adopt it was the simple issue of honesty. As Bill Dwinnels said at a recent sumbel while toasting truth and honesty: if you don't want people to know about something, don't do it. Truth, in the sense of honesty, is essential to personal honor and also to any system or morality that is not based on rigid legalism. If one is to uphold an honor code, one must be brutally honest with oneself and with others.

Truth is also the Truth that comes with a capital T, the kind of Truth that one talks about in terms of religion or morality.

It's common to talk of different peoples having different "truths," but it's equally important to remember that while we acknowledge that each person or people has their own belief as to what Truth is or where to find it, there finally is a single Truth. This is not the Truth as we believe it, but ultimate Truth. While we may respect other people's truths and seek our own, we must never forget our search for The Truth.

Like the Holy Grail of Christian legend, it may never be ours to reach, but when we cease to search we

Honor is the basis for the entire Asatru moral rationale. If anything comes out in the Eddas and Sagas it is that without honor we are nothing. We remember two types of peoples from ancient times: those whose honor was so clean that they shine as examples to us and those who were so without honor that their names are cursed a thousand years after they lived.

Good Asatruar should always strive to be among the former.

However, honor is not mere reputation. Honor is an internal force whose outward manifestation is reputation.

Internal honor is the sacred moral compass that each Asatruar and God should hold dear.

It is the inner dwelling at peace which comes from living in accordance with ones beliefs and with ones knowledge of the Truth of what one is doing.

It is something deeply personal and heartfelt, almost akin to an emotion. It's a knowing that what one is doing is right and decent and correct.

In many ways while the most important of all the virtues it is also the most ephemeral in terms of description. It is all the other virtues rolled together and then still more.

The best way I have found to describe honor is that if you are truly living with honor, you will have no regrets about what you have done with your life.

Fidelity is a word that is far too often defined by it's narrow use in terms of marital fidelity.

By the dictionary it simply means being faithful to someone or something. In marriage this means being true to ones vows and partner, and this has been narrowly defined as limiting ones sexual experience to ones spouse.

While I have found this to be great practical advice, many treat fidelity as if there were no other ways in which one could be faithful or

For we Asatruar fidelity is most important in terms of our faith and troth to the Gods.

We must remain true to the Aesir and Vanir and to our kinsmen. Like marriage, Profession (the rite in which one enters the Asatru faith, similar to Christian confirmation or Wiccan initiation) is a sacred bond between two parties; in this case an Asatruar and the Gods. In order for such a relationship to work, both must be honest and faithful to each other.

Asatru, although currently being reborn, is at its roots a folk religion and we also uphold the value of fidelity to the ways of our ancestors. This is why historical research is so important to the Asatru-folk: it is the rediscovering of our ancient ways and our readopting of them.

In any discussion of the values of Asatru, discipline is best described as self-discipline. It is the exercise of personal will that upholds honor and the other virtues and translates impulse into action. If one is to be able to reject moral legalism for a system of internal honor, one must be willing to exercise the self-discipline necessary to make it work. Going back to my earlier criticism of society, if one rejects legalism, one must be willing to control ones own actions. Without self-discipline, we have the mess we currently see in our culture.

Looking at discipline in terms of fidelity, we see a close connection. Many Pagans go from faith to faith, system to system, path to path. Asatruar are much less likely to do this. The discipline of keeping faith with our Gods and the ways of our ancestors is part of our modern practice. In this way, we limit ourselves in some ways, but we gain much more in others.

Hospitality is simply one of the strongest core values at the heart of virtually every ancient human civilization. In a community/folk religion such as our own, it is the virtue that upholds our social fabric. In ancient times it was essential that when a traveler went into the world he could find some sort of shelter and welcome for the night. In modern times it is just as essential that a traveler find friendship and safety.

In our modern Asatru community, we need to treat each other with respect and act together for the good of our community as a whole. This functions most solidly on the level of the kindred or hearth where nonfamilial members become extremely close and look out for each other. It can mean hospitality in the old sense of taking in people, which we've done, but in modern times it's more likely to mean loaning someone a car or a bit of money when they need it (that's need, not want).

Part of hospitality is treating other people with respect and dignity. Many of our Gods are known to wander the world and stop in at people's houses, testing their hospitality and generosity. The virtue of hospitality means seeing people as if they were all individuals with self-respect and importance. Or perhaps from time to time, they are literally the Gods in human form. This has profound implications for social action in our religion. Our response to societal problems such as poverty (that's poverty folks, not laziness) is in many ways our modern reaction to this ancient virtue.

In terms of our modern community as a whole, I see hospitality in terms of frontier "barn raisings" where a whole community would come together and pool their resources.

This doesn't mean we have to forget differences, but we must put them aside for those who are of our Folk, and work for our common good.

Industriousness

Modern Asatruar must be industrious in their actions. We need to work hard if we are going to achieve our goals. There is so much for us to do. We've set ourselves the task of restoring Asatru to it's former place as a mainstream faith and by doing so reinvigorating our society and culture. We can't do this by sitting on our virtues, we need to make them an active part of our behavior. Industry also refers to simple hard work in our daily vocations, done with care and pride.

Here's a few concrete examples. If you are reading this and don't have a kindred, why not? Stop reading now. Go and place ads in the appropriate local stores, get your name on the Ring of Troth, Wyrd Network, or Asatru Alliance networking lists, and with other Pagan groups. Put on a workshop. Ok, now you're back to reading and you don't agree with what I'm saying here? Well, be industrious! Write your own articles and arguments. Write a letter to the editor and suggest this material be banned better that than passivity. Get the blood moving and go out and do it. That's how it gets done. The Gods do not favor the lazy.

The same holds true for our non-religious lives. As Asatruar we should offer a good example as industrious people who add to whatever we're involved in rather than take from it. We should be the ones the business we work in can't do without and the ones who always seem to be able to get things done. When people think of Asatru, they should think of people who are competent and who offer something to the world.

This doesn't just apply to vocational work, but to the entire way we live our lives. It is just as much a mentality. The Vikings were vital people. They lived each day to its fullest and didn't wring their hands in doubt or hesitation. We should put the same attitude forward in all that we do whether it is our usual vocation, devotion to the Gods, or leisure time.

Industry brings us directly to the virtue of Self-Reliance, which is important both in practical and traditional terms. Going back to the general notion of this article, we are dealing with a form of morality that is largely self-imposed and thus requires self-reliance. We rely on ourselves to administer our own morality.

Traditionally, our folkways have always honored the ability of a man or woman to make their own way in the world and not to lean on others for their physical needs. This is one of the ways in which several virtues reinforce and support each other. Hospitality cannot function if people are not responsible enough to exercise discipline and take care of themselves. It's for those that strive and fail or need assistance that hospitality is intended, not for the idle who simply won't take care of themselves.

In terms of our relationships with the Gods, self-reliance is also very important. If we wish the Gods to offer us their blessings and gifts, we must make ourselves worthy of them and the Gods are most pleased with someone who stands on their own two feet. This is one of the reasons for the Asatru rule that we do not kneel to the Gods during our ceremonies. By standing we acknowledge our relationship as striving and fulfilled people looking for comradeship and a relationship, rather than acting as scraelings looking for a handout from on high. It takes very little for a God to attract a follower, if worship simply means getting on the gravy train. We, as Asatruar, are people who can make our own way in the world, but who choose to seek a relationship with the Gods.

In mundane terms being self-reliant is a simple way to allow ourselves the ability to live as we wish to. In simple economic terms, if one has enough money in the bank one doesn't need to worry as much about being fired due to religious discrimination. We can look a bigot in the face and tell him just where he can put it. It's also nice to have something in the bank to lay down as a retainer on a good lawyer so we can take appropriate action.

On the other side of this is self-reliance in the sense of Henry David Thoreau, who advocated a simple lifestyle that freed one from the temptations of materialism. Again, here we are able to live as we wish with those things that are truly important. Religious people from all faiths have found that adjusting ones material desires to match one's ability to meet them leaves one open for a closer relationship with deity and a more fulfilling life. While our ancestors were great collectors of gold goodies, they didn't lust for possessions in and of themselves, but for what they stood for and could do for them. In fact, the greatest thing that could be said of a Lord was that he was a good Ring Giver.

Being self-reliant also means taking responsibility for ones life. It's not just about refusing a welfare check or not lobbying for a tax exemption, but also refusing to blame ones failures on religious intolerance, the patriarchy, or an unfair system. The system may, in fact, be unfair, but it's our own responsibility to

In societal terms, we have become much too dependent on other people for our own good. As individuals we look to the government or to others to solve our problems and as a society we borrow billions from our descendants to pay for today's excesses. Most problems in this world could be solved if people just paid their own way as they went.

The final virtue is Perseverance which I think most appropriate because it is the one that we most need to keep in mind in our living of the other values. Our religion teaches us that the world is an imperfect place, and nothing comes easy. We need to continue to seek after that which we desire. In this imperfect world there are no free lunches or easy accomplishments especially in the subjects we have set before ourselves. If we truly wish to build an Asatru community that people will hold up as an example of what committed people can do, then we must persevere through the hardships that building our religion is going to entail. We must be willing to continue on when we are pushed back. If one loses a job for ones religion, the answer is not to go back and hide, but to continue until one finds a vocation where one can more forward and live as an Asatruar

Finally we must persevere when we simply fail. If one's kindred falls apart because of internal strife, one should go back and start over. Pick up the pieces and continue on. If nobody had done this after the disintegration of the Asatru Free Assembly, this would probably never have been written. We must be willing to continue in the hard work of making our religion strong not just when it is convenient and easy to do so, but when it gets hard, inconvenient, or just plain boring. To accomplish without striving is to do little, but to persevere and finally accomplish a hard fought goal brings great honor.

Source (Written by Lewis Stead from the Raven Kindred's ritual book)

Found in, Witches of the Craft.com

Reposted by, PHYNXRIZNG

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jedifighterpilot2727 · 8 years ago

Note

Prompt: Imagine Lena knowing that Kara is Supergirl but not really saying anything about it. Instead she just talks to Kara and Supergirl as the same person (i.e. mentioning things to Kara that she’s talked to Supergirl about) and Kara’s too distracted by her huge crush on Lena to notice. Then one day Kara suddenly realises that Lena has known the whole time and she’s basically confirmed it accidentally and she sort of panics a little. Lena calms her down and assures her that it’s ok.

My Baby’s Got a Secret

Lena Luthor was no idiot.

She had graduated Summa Cum Laude from Harvard with a double major in business and computer engineering.

She was the CEO of a multi-billion dollar corporation before the age of 35.

She had literally hundreds of patents filed under name.

She had read a ridiculous amount of books, fiction and non-fiction, hell, she had even read the dictionary once.

It was not hard to figure out that Kara Danvers was Supergirl.

Glasses and a ponytail did not a good disguise make. Especially when you were trying to hide from the girl who had actually designed facial recognition software.

She didn’t say anything though.

It was cute, watching Kara try and cover her tracks, try and pretend to be two different people. The excuses she came up with when cutting out of dates early, or leaving Lena’s bed in the middle of the night were overused at best and completely unbelievable at worst.

Really, how many times could her sister get locked out of her apartment? Lena had spent enough time around Alex Danvers to know that she was of above average intelligence, and definitely not the type to lose her keys three times in one week. Besides, she highly suspected that Alex would take it as a challenge to break into her own apartment rather than call her sister for help.

But Lena never complained, never said a word.

When Kara would leave in a rush with a mumble excuse, she would simply turn on the news and bite her lip with worry as she watched Supergirl fly into a burning building or stop a robbery, or worse - fight some alien threat high above National City.

She wondered how long they would be able to keep it up.

Who would slip first.

If she would go to undress Kara and find the Super suit underneath.

Or if Supergirl would accidentally kiss her before flying off her balcony.

It was like a low stakes game of poker face that kept her heart racing every time they parted ways. Whenever the inevitable happened, she thought perhaps they would laugh about it, Kara’s eyes scrunching up at the corners as she giggled about failing at keeping her secret identity a secret.

Nevertheless, she always thought it would be a breathless moment of revelation and confession.

Never in a million years did she think it would happen like this.

She was sitting at her desk when Supergirl touched down on her balcony, cape billowing behind her in the night air.

“Supergirl, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“Just thought I’d check in on you, see if you were feeling any better.“

Lena froze on her way to the bar.

She had sniffled twice this morning over breakfast and Kara had freaked out, mumbling about colds and how the human race was so fragile. She half expected her day to be filled with texts and calls from her overprotective girlfriend, but alas, a rogue alien had attacked the city and instead her day was filled with watching news reports of Supergirl.

She could play this one of two ways - confront Kara about the slip, or let it slide to see how it played out.

“Much better, I told you it was just allergies.”

“Well Ms. Luthor, one can never be too sure.”

She bit back a laugh at the ‘Ms. Luthor’ the idea of any formality between them - particularly after where Kara’s mouth had been last night.

“I appreciate your concern. Especially after how busy you’ve been today.“

She reached for her favorite bottle of vodka, only to find it was empty.

“I’d offer you a drink, but it seems I’m all out.”

“It’s fine, probably best that I don’t drink and fly anyway.” Kara smirked, and Lena was two seconds away from leaning forward and brushing the stray curl out the hero’s eyes when the sound of a siren filtered through the open balcony door.

“I suppose you’re needed.“

“A hero’s work is never done.” Kara said ruefully. “Have a good night Ms. Luthor.”

And then she was gone, a blue and red streak across the sky as Lena sat back at her desk to consider this new development.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

There was a bottle of her favorite vodka sitting on the kitchen counter when she went to fix breakfast the next morning.

“What’s this?“

“Oh, it’s for your office, I picked it up on my way home last night.” Kara rounded the corner, glasses fogged as she towel dried her hair. “Just a heads up, I’m pretty sure Snapper wants me to get the story on L-Corp’s newest stock offering today. You want me to bring food by your office for lunch or do you wanna eat out?”

Lena’s eyes traced down Kara’s still naked form.

“Uhhh, out. I’ll make reservations at that fancy burger place you like.“

“Sounds great!”

“You know, I could always go in a little late today … “ She stepped forward to trail a lazy hand up Kara’s abs and her girlfriend smiled devilishly.

“I could always tell Snapper I got caught chasing down a story …“

Just as their lips were about to meet, the tv squawked from the living room.

“This just in, the foundry plant on the westside of the industrial district has went up in flames this morning, reports suggest -”

Kara’s face fell.

“On second thought, he might not like it if I’m late again; I better go.“

“Up, up, and away?”

“Yep, I mean my office is on the top floor!” Her nose scrunched in that adorable way that Lena loved and then she was gone, returning in entirely too short a time to have completely dressed, done her hair AND put on makeup.

“I’ll see you for lunch!” Kara promised and with a quick peck on the lips she was out the door.

Lena didn’t even have to turn around to know that Supergirl was speeding past her window.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

When Kara showed up for the interview at the restaurant, she still smelled slightly like smoke.

“Hey, thanks for ordering for me!” she said grinning as she saw the two gigantic burgers and the plate full of fries Lena had ordered for her.

“I figured all the fire fighting might whet your appetite.” Lena said carefully, taking a long draw from her glass of merlot.

Kara nodded furiously, stuffing french fries in her face at a rate that would be unbecoming for anyone else.

“And Snapper was a total … jerk face. I can’t wait until Ms Grant comes back and puts him in his place.“

“I could always call and take him down a few notches if you like.”

Kara smiles at her, and she thinks this might be the closest anyone’s ever gotten to the sun without being incinerated.

“I can handle him, maybe this article will get him off my back.“

“Well I will gladly answer all the questions you throw at me. I can even arrange a private tour if that helps.”

“A private tour of what?”

“My bedroom."She says simply, and winks in a way that makes Kara drop her burger back to her plate, coughing.

“I’ll have to take you up on that. Off the record, of course.”

- - - - - - - - - - - - -

They continue in much the same way for the next few weeks, Kara and Supergirl blending together until she almost forgets she’s not supposed to know they’re the same person.

It all comes to a head at game night, Lena’s feet in Kara’s lap - nimble fingers working their magic and massaging away the tightness left from hours spent in high heels.

“There you go, 450 measly bucks for landing on your stupid Baltic Avenue hotel.” Winn passed a few bills to Kara from his ever growing stack.

“I’m telling you,” Kara grinned gleefully; “This is how the game is won, small victories. Eventually I will crush you like I crushed that missile that was headed for city hall this morning!”

The room stopped.

Everyone turned to Kara who was holding out the dice for Lena to blow on like their playing craps in Vegas and not just Monopoly in Kara’s living room.

“Ahem.” Alex cleared her throat, looking pointedly at Kara.

“What? I totally crushed it. Literally.“

“Kara.” Alex looked at Lena now. “She means she totally crushed the story Snapper sent her to write about SUPERGIRL taking care of the missile.”

It’s then Kara froze, eyes wide with fear and unease.

“I yes, I - that’s - Snapper and the story-“

“Kara.” Lena interrupts softly, sitting up and resting a hand on her girlfriend’s shoulder. “This morning you told me you were going to take a flight around the neighborhood to check for trouble. And last night Supergirl showed up on my balcony bitching about how Snapper Carr is ‘a rude little man’.”

“She did? I - well-“

“Kara.” she repeats again. “It’s okay.”

Kara’s shoulders sag in what she hopes is relief.

“You’re not mad?“

“I’ve known you were Supergirl from the very beginning. I just wanted to be comfortable enough to tell me yourself. And then you started letting things slip - Supergirl knew things only you should have known, you suddenly had a penchant for saving the world. I just assumed your subconscious was okay with me knowing and you just hadn’t quite figured it out yet.

“Oh.”

Kara’s eyes locked on hers and the rest of the room melted away.

“I should have said something after you slipped the first time but I didn’t really know what to say.”

“I should have told you I was Supergirl from the very beginning.“

She leaned forward, adjusting Kara’s crooked glasses.

“You had your reasons, there are a lot of people at risk if the wrong people find out your identity.”

“Yeah, but you’re one of those people at risk now, you should have known what you were getting into.“

“My girlfriend is pretty awesome, I’m sure she could protect me.”

A blushing Kara giggled and Lena continued.

“Not that I’m a distressing damsel or anything.”

“No, no definitely not.” Kara’s bright blue eyes were inches away now. “You can certainly take care of yourself.“

“Guys.” Alex’s voice was deadpan but it still startled them apart. “We’re all still here. So before this gets too-“ She waved a hand, “mushy; I just want to stop you.”

“Yeah can we get back to the part where I’m kicking everybody’s ass at Monopoly?” Winn whined.

And just like that, her world settles back to normal.

A Luthor and a Super.

Who would have thought.

Let me know what you think!

#supercorp #fanfiction #supergirl #tumblr prompt #comments are my favorite thing

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jumpsitehq · 7 years ago

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300+ Funny Status for Whatsapp and Facebook in English

There are millions of people who can use WhatsApp Messenger and they also change status day by day so that why I am Publishing a Best Funniest Status in our sites. You can check the collection of Funny Whatsapp Status below. I hope you will like the funny statuses for WhatsApp. Earlier you have seen some of the Best and Latest Whatsapp Status, Love Whatsapp Status, Sad and Cool Whatsapp Status but This time we come up with All-time Favorite FUNNY WHATSAPP STATUS.

Funny Status for Whatsapp and Facebook

“Hey there WhatsApp is using me.” “I am not lazy, but I am on my energy saving mode.” “I can’t read lips unless they’re touching mine.” “80% of boys have girlfriends. Rest 20% are having a brain.” “Last seen 1985!” “When you are on a 1% battery anyone who sends a message Or calling, Becomes the enemy Automatically.” “I love my job only when I’m on vacation.” “Life is too short smile while you still have teeth……” “God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me every time.”

Best Funny Status

“Common sense is not so common.” “Never laugh at your wife’s choices… LOL..you’re one of them…” “All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.” “Never Steal because of Government HATE COMPETITION.” ” I pretend to work and They pretend to pay me.” “If you can’t convince them then Confuse them.” “I always learn from the mistakes of others who take my advice. That’s called EVIL MIND.” “I Am Gonna Make my Status High, better you to Focus on your Status only.” “I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.”

Funny Status Quotes

“AwesoME ends with ME and UGLY Start with YOU.” “People say everything happens for a reason. So when I Beat your ASS, remember I have a reason.” “People said to follow your dreams so I went back to bed.” “When Phone on silent mode – 10 Missed calls…When Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day.” “Busy at this moment…free forever.” “The only time success comes before work is in dictionary.” “If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.” “DOESN’T EXPECTING THE UNEXPECTED MAKE THE UNEXPECTED EXPECTED ?” “Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.” “Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.”

Best Funny Quotes

“You have the perfect face to become Radio Jockey.” “Totally available!!!! Please disturb me!!!!” “Hi there! I am using my brain.” “One day your princess will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.” “I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.” “Looks like I over-estimated the number of your brain cells.” “Lie is just a great story ruined by truth.” “If Monday had a face, I would punch it.” “My style is unique don’t even think to copy it!” “Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.” “I always dream of being a millionaire like my friend!… He’s dreaming too.” “My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.” “Don’t Hit Kids, They Become Smart Nowadays they Carry GUNS.” “A man is as young as the woman he feels.”

Top Fun Status

“I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.” “When I actually die some people are going to get really haunted after me.” “The winner of the rat race is still a rat.” “If money grew on trees, then girls would be dating monkeys….” “Please don’t interrupt me while I’m ignoring you.” “At least Some Mosquito’s are attracted to me.” “I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.” “I WANT TO KILL THE HOTTEST PERSON ALIVE… BUT SUICIDE IS A BIG CRIME!” “I had to take sick day.I’m sick of those peoples.” “Today’s Relationships is like You can touch each other but not each other’s phones.”

Best Funny Status for Facebook

“DO YOU EVER JUST LIE ON KNEES AND THANK GOD THAT YOU KNOW ME AND MY INTELLIGENCE…??” “TRUTH: Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up…” “It’s not that I hate anyone; it’s just that I do not like people.” “Life is Short so Chat Fast..” “My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. What a TRAGEDY.” “Save Paper, Don’t do Homework.” “A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for a long time.” “I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I am blaming you.” “Your status won’t ever match my status neither in WhatsApp nor in reality.” “My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.” “Save Water, Drink Whisky.”

Funniest Whatsapp Status

“Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money.” “WARNING!! I know karate…..and some other words too.!” “Honest people can be put into two categories….little kids and drunk persons.” “Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.” “When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you ?” “I just need a good Wifi & Wife.” “I only need three things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep.” “There’s only one problem with your face, I can see it.” “I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.” “AFTER GETTING DRUNK, BACHELOR OF TECHNOLOGY TURNS INTO MASTER OF PHILOSOPHY.” “Can’t talk, telepathy only!” “Read books instead of reading my status!” “People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason…” “I am Cool but Summer Days make me hot.” “I AM NOT A VEGETARIAN BECAUSE I LOVE ANIMALS; I AM A VEGETARIAN BECAUSE I HATE PLANTS.”

Laughing Status

“GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.” “I love you, and it’s killing me.” “A fine is a tax for doing wrong & A tax is a fine for doing well.” “I’m not sarcastic, I am just intelligent beyond your understanding.” “In bed, it’s 7AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 8:00. At school it’s 12:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 12:32.” “Some people are beautifully wrapped boxes of shit.” “Whatsapp users never die, they just go offline.” “The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight.” “High Power Come ,with High voltage Current!” “Hello madam, do you want new Credit Card ? Girl: No thanks, I have a Boyfriend.” “I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.” “Wife means Worries in life Forever.” “Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them is wearing pants ???” “A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.” “People say they can’t live without Love. I think oxygen is more important.” “I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight.” “Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.” “Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.” “Yes, I agree. Moms can find everything. Except for the ringing phone in their bags.” “Love marriage is like dancing in front of snake and asking him to bite.” “‘m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!” “Mah Attitude……Mah ishtyle…” “People say nothing’s impossible, but I do nothing every day.” “Women should not have children after 30. Really … 30 children are enough.”

Hilarious Status

“Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.” “If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.” “Don’t steal because it’s the government’s job.” “Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.” “I am currently experiencing life at the rate of 20 WTF’s every hour.” “Who care’s ?????………..I’m awesome. Fuck the Rest.” “Laugh at your problems, everybody else does the same.” “I’m not failed, But my success just lost.!” “This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear….I’m just fat.” “I hate men but I’m not lesbians”

Hilarious Whatsapp Status

“Best Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbor’s wife, And beer as COLD as your own.” “When it’s you against me, you either win or you die.” “My heart is stolen..can I check your bra.” “Marriage is the cause of divorce.” “I DID NOT ATTEND HIS FUNERAL, BUT I SENT A NICE LETTER SAYING I APPROVED OF IT.” “SI unit of ignorance = “seen”…” “I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.” “You say I dream too big I say you think too small.” “Running away does not help you with your problems unless you are fat.” “Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.” “ALARM CLOCK: Because mornings must start with a heart attack.” “Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.” “3 Mistake done by everyone ..Whatsapp, Facebook & GF.”

OMG Funny Status

“Etc Meaning – End of Thinking Capacity.” “We are WTF generation……. WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook.” “Never make eye contact while eating a banana.” “Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^).” “Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.” Do share it with your Fiends and Spread Happiness and Laugh a Lot because LIFE IS SHORT.

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rigelmejo · 4 years ago

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8/19/20 progress

I already knew this I supposed... but further confirmation that

It’s easier to immerse in a new material, if you look up keywords for the first episode or chapter. (Those first chapters are when a lot of the genre specific and story specific words pop up, so if you catch the keywords then it will be easier to follow all main-plot information in the following material).

immersing more DOES improve comprehension the more you do it.

I am watching Xin Xiao Shi Yi Lang (The Shaw Eleven Lang). I first tried to watch it in December, then in general I tried to watch shows in only-chinese more in January-May. In those months, shows got consecutively a little bit easier to follow without looking words up - although mostly, each new genre the difficulty spiked again a bit. So difficulty was like: 10, 8, 7, 8, 6, 8, 6, 4, 7, 5, etc... where 10 is most difficult to follow. I do notice that overall, regardless of genre differences/show differences spiking difficulty back up, I am getting overall better at some things.

My reading speed, ability to catch words quickly that I’ve studied, ability to read through grammar easier, ability to read through *some grammar at a quicker speed, ability to look away from the screen more and still follow the plot (so listen comprehension is better, reading speed to catch up to when I look away is improved). Overall, just the comfort level of the activity - it doesn’t feel nearly as draining to immerse in only-chinese, it doesn’t feel like I need to use a translator to look up key words if I don’t want to. As in I feel I can at least minimally follow a plot even if I skip looking up words that catch my attention. I notice overall that I have more ability to figure out at least SOME words from context alone in bigger sentences - so not just verbs. And a super noticeable skill that has improved: my ability to notice name/place/proper noun introductions is WAY IMPROVED. For the whole year of learning Chinese, I really struggled immensely with recognizing when words were a name of something instead of a noun/adjective/verb to figure out. The only time I could tell was if someone said ‘zhe she’ or ‘mingzi’ or ‘jiao’ or ‘jieshao’ first to clue me in that it was about to be a proper name, or for people hearing ‘xiaojie, gongzi, shifu, shidi, shijie, shixiong, xiong, xiansheng, laoshi’ and eventually catching on that it’s a name. But places and named objects like swords or specialized tools like shovel types or named reports completely escaped me.

I remember that the first time I watched Xin Xiao Shi Yi Lang, I could only follow the fact “there’s a sword they want, they know each other, and a princess (?) is running away from her fiance (?) who wants the fancy sword her family owns that everyone seems to want.” Which... to be honest, I do think that’s the minimum gist of the plot, so I did pretty well for my no-lookup guess of what was going on back in December. But this time when I watched, I looked up a lot of words more for double checking my correct comprehension or specifying details, not because I needed it to follow the plot. And for names, I just caught them: We’ve got Xiao Shi Yi Lang, Lian Chengbi, SiNiang, Shen Kunbi (the princess, I’m not sure I caught the second part right unless I can see it’s characters on screen), Xiao gongzi (the evil small woman who also looks like Lian Chengbi sometimes?), Jiao Zhu (Lord Jiao, the snake clan’s leader), the empress (? or queen, Shen family, I can’t quite catch if the first part of her name is a title or her name). The 4 great masters that Yi Lang, SiNiang, and Xiao gongzi just annihilated from importance... I caught the servant of Shen’s name too, the girl who begged Lian-xiong to take her with him to find her princess, but they haven’t said it enough for me to remember it.

I also catch that they’re mentioning the named place of the region often (Jiang something), the Shen clan area, and the sword does have a name (which I recognize the characters of but can’t remember the pronunciation of). I caught that Xiao gongzi is from a clan/kind of people too, the Heaven-something. All of this is a ton more specific detail-wise than I was ever able to catch back in December. Some of this is because I know new words, some is because I can read/comprehend faster so I have the TIME to catch other low-hanging-fruit details I should understand, some is because I’ve gotten much better at recognizing proper names versus nouns/adjectives/verbs. I’m really happy about the proper noun stuff... it was probably the HARDEST thing for me to distinguish in written chinese, whereas any other grammar issue was a bit perplexing but noticeable to me if I could just get extra time to read through it. I think again I probably have Tamen de Gushi novel to thank for this... it’s writing style used first person so it was easy to follow, but many other characters were always name-mentioned without usual introduction scenes, and yet others were left unnamed and so I had to get used to ‘that person’ and ‘aunt and uncle’ and ‘the gang of friends’ and get better at recognizing vague characters being talked about too.

I think a lot of these comprehension improvements in the last 8 months were partially just WATCHING more chinese-only stuff, and also doing 2000 word cards and reading in some short bursts (I’d read 15 chapters of Tamen de Gushi, a few chapters of Priest novels, and Mandarin Companion Sherlock).

In addition, I notice a decent increase lately from maybe May-August. I think what I added recently, that’s been helping - listening to chinese audio, and flashcards with sentences.

For Chinese audio I have 2 main sources - audiobooks/audiodramas where I just play them whenever I want either for background noise or to listen to and try to follow the plot, and an audio of Spoonfed Chinese sentences with english then chinese sentences so its very comprehensible audio ‘flashcards’ i can just play in 30 minute chunks in the background for ‘review’ or ‘exposure’ to i+1 sentences. This audio addition to study has been super easy to add, I just try to play it more. I think the audiodramas/books are helping me solidify the words I DO know, get more familiar with what ‘sounds right,’ increase my listening speed comprehension, and help set ‘phrases’ stick better in my head. The audio 30 minute ‘flashcard’ loops are like audio reinforcement of the sentences in anki I’m doing, and they give me more audio-only review and exposure compared to anki - helping me work on listening comprehension, and on hearing easy new i+1 sentences I can always comprehend and learn a little new stuff from each day. I really love big audio files of ‘flashcards’ and I discovered the study idea back when I studied japanese (the website japaneseaudiolessons.com was basically entirely based on this concept of teaching/study, and also to a degree I think Michael Thomas and Pimsleur are just paid versions of this method).

They let you be introduced to new things to learn in a very easy to understand way building on what you already know, and review in a way where the flashcards remind you of the translation in case you needed it. Its very low effort, but it really reinforces what you’ve learned and helps you pick up new stuff. (And it’s higher effort if you also try to repeat it and practice speaking). However, audio flashcard files I think work BETTER if you try to pay attention - at least if you hear any new sentences. That way you actively TRY to figure out what you expect the answer to be before you hear it, and note what the actual answer was so you remember this new word/grammar. Whereas reviews with this audio, you can pay attention a bit less actively, since its only going to be important to focus if you CAN’T automatically guess what the right answer is - in which case, listen more to that piece of audio. But if you’re replaying it over and over, even if you only actively pay attention some of the time, you’ll pay attention enough to pick up new info, and passively listen to things you comprehend already enough to review them. So overall, its definitely lower effort than listening to audiobooks/audiodramas and trying to purposely follow the plot. (Although I think passively listening to audiobooks/audiodramas is the easiest task, I don’t think it efficiently teaches you more as quickly as listening to audio-flashcard loops since in audiobooks/dramas you comprehend less).

Chinese flashcards with sentences in anki - right now all my anki flashcard decks use sentences mostly. The Spoonfed Chinese deck is helping with words IN context and WHAT contexts to correctly use different words. This is helping strengthen the foundation of words I know. Likewise, my HSK deck in anki also has sentences and explains individual character meanings, so that’s also reinforcing it. I’m mostly using these decks for exposure/recognition, so I’m not working on trying to correctly speak/produce such sentences very much (just occasionally). So they aren’t helping a ton at improving my speaking/production grammar. But they are helping me a lot with comprehending better, and with remembering the proper tones in words I know, and the proper words to use for different situations (especially with near synonyms). I think these cards are making my reading speed comprehension in chinese better (just like reading more in chinese was helping).

I have also been reading more - without a dictionary when possible, because I’m lazy. I haven’t been reading as much as I want, but I do feel what I’m doing is challenging myself. (I guess I just wish I challenged myself more ToT). I read chapter 1 of MoDu with no dictionary twice - the second time was much easier, somehow. I read part of chapter 1 of Guardian, part of chapter 1 of Tian Ya Ke. I read a little bit of Tamen de Gushi with no dictionary, I read a Mandarin Companion book. I notice that in general reading is helping me recognize phrases like how authors tend to word descriptions of body movements or appearance, or descriptions of emotional displays (like he rubbed his neck, put his hand in his pocket, face grew pale, eyes glanced away, mouth curled upward in a slight smile, etc). Those descriptions are getting much easier to recognize and read quickly. Also, I notice with more difficult novels, I’m getting better at roughly guessing unknown words with unknown characters - the hard part is getting myself to focus on paragraphs where I see a lot of unknown characters, because my eyes would prefer to just skim over them all. I have to make myself actually look, find the words I do know and grammar I recognize, then actually look at the unknown characters for clues of if they’re part of a 2-part version of a word I know the other character in, if they’re characters I can guess roughly the meaning of, if I can guess their sound or not, and what their word type is grammar wise if that will help me - is it a name, title, verb, adjective, noun.

Usually I can skip adjectives without losing the main idea of the plot, but I still slow down and try to figure out the adjective if it keeps popping up - it means the author relies on it a lot. Names automatically get easier once I realize they’re just names to recognize. And unknown characters part of 2 character words, if i CAN guess a meaning from context, are generally the most important for me to pick up. Because they usually contribute to plot or details, and they’re words I actually can keep relying on later on in the writing if I figure them out. As usual... dialogue is my strong suit, and the easiest part to follow. Action descriptions of things going on are the second easiest. Then finally, long descriptions of places/people/economy/looks/situation/group etc are still my weakest point since those parts are noun and adjective heavy, usually with less already-known general words I can lean on to help me.

---

I am really pleased about my show comprehension improvements though. I’m thinking, as long as I look up the words in new shows for the first couple episodes, I should be able to get into new genres/new shows without them feeling draining anymore.

I’m going to keep working on my flashcards until they’re in the 2000s, to match up with my original old single-word 2000 cards. Then maybe focus more on reading. I’d like to get more comfortable reading novels (even though lol I know that’s probably THE HARDEST of my comprehension goals).

Also surprisingly I’ve been really picky about my tones lately, so I’m spending probably 1/3 of my study time overall just on focusing on tones - tone training, pinyin pronunciation basics again, listening carefully. I noticed my active vocabulary has decreased a little these past couple months... but I suspect that’s mostly because I’ve NOTICED where I was incorrectly using the wrong word for a situation, so now my mind isn’t auto-supplying a word to use unless I’m relatively sure its supposed to be used for that situation. So in the long term it’ll probably be a good thing. Likewise, words are auto-showing-up in my mind less to use if the tones are less solid.

I’ve been using the Hanzi flashcard deck on and off again (anki version). I’m contemplating adding my own pronunciation mnemonics to them, so they’ll be more thorough.

Other notes:

- nothing seems to make those words like ‘turan’ ‘suiran’ ‘jinran’ ‘shihou’ ‘zhiqian’ ‘ranhou’ ‘ziran’ really seem to stick for me except reading/listening more. They’re all ‘explanation’ words usually used in telling stories or descriptions, and since they’re not directly anything you could ‘draw/visualize’ then for me I find I just need to be exposed to enough examples of them being used.

- similarly, the way authors/storytellers say descriptions of people moving hands/eyes/heads/looks really is something to just... get used to. All the words are simple, its just getting used to seeing them in those combinations.

- i still have no idea if ‘repetitive listening’ of 50-100 times helps a LOT lol. But i do think listening MORE in general, definitely helps to a degree. Especially once you’ve got 1000-2000 words you’re vaguely familiar with. That means there’s a lot of words you’ll eventually Recognize when listening, even if you can’t comprehend full sentences.

- immersing in content you’re already familiar of the context of, is always easier. whether its because you read it/watched it in english before, or because you looked up keywords/summaries for the first couple episodes before diving in. That said, I prefer to also do some immersion where i go in knowing absolutely nothing (so if i need to, i’ll look up keywords while watching). Because i like to see exactly how much i can understand when i had nothing to rely on going into it. That said, that’s more for gauging progress. For actually PICKING UP NEW WORDS from a show or audio, I think having context ahead of time improves the ability to pick up new words.

- if you’re learning a language that happens to make audiodramas about stuff you like??? I 100% recommend checking them out! Chinese has been a treasure trove for me, because if I like a book or show, then there’s a corresponding book/show, and there’s usually also an audiodrama, and usually also fanmade dialogue-containing music video edit videos and AU edit videos, and regular music videos, and osts.... and you can find ONE story you like and have like 200+ hours of material to sink into. If I like one story (lets say MoDaoZuShi by MXTX) then I can watch a drama, read a novel (in chinese and english, in traditional or simplified characters), listen to an audiodrama, listen to ost, find a ton of music video edits with dialogues, find fanfic in multiple languages, watch donghua if I wanted animation instead of live action. And also check out any of the author’s other works. Same thing with getting into something by Priest - I can watch Guardian, listen to fanmade audiobooks, find music video edits with dialogue, listen to the ost, read the novel in traditional or simplified or english. And several other priest novels ALSO have audiodramas along with all this other stuff. A person can easily find a visual show, an audio drama/book, a text only novel, and a picture-text manhua all about some story they like. So they’ve got this very easy to find ‘study material’ to immerse in a variety of different ways. Whether they ‘need’ practice in each area, or are just more comfortable with say ‘audio’ or ‘manhua’ instead of reading novels, they can still find stuff to enjoy. When I studied french I always found reading material I liked, but I should have been looking harder for other materials in other areas, like I am in chinese. Likewise, in japanese I could often find visual shows or manga i wanted to check out, but I had trouble finding audio-only I was interested in... I could have been looking for a broader variety of materials than I did at the time.

#august 2020 progress #august progress #progress

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