#but today went to the gym after work then the grocery store for dinner

[tomandgeriatric]

I made healthy choices today and I'm feeling nourished. Everybody clap.

[daycourtofficial]

Falling in Love on the Fourth Floor - Part 3

Summary: Out of an act of desperation, you move in with a guy you kind of know who happens to have a really hot brother who lives next door.

(Part 1) (Part 2)(Part 4)

Author’s note: I’m a bit uncertain about this part tbh :/ on one hand I love it, on the other I’m not sure

It had been a few days since Azriel went with you to return the truck, and you hadn’t seen much of him or Cassian since. Cassian had told you they were both personal trainers at the same gym, and he even went so far as to put his schedule up on the fridge so you would know when he’d be gone.

Looking at the schedule, he had even left a sticky note telling you he had plans before work and that he wouldn’t be back all day.

Your day alone in the apartment didn’t go as well as you had hoped it would, your phone buzzing around noon, the name Dad lighting up your phone.

You sigh, letting it go to voicemail, and decide to call Feyre to avoid thinking about him. She picks up on the third ring, her voice chirping through the phone, “hello?”

“Hey Fey, do you wanna do something today? I don’t want to wallow all alone.”

She sighs over the phone, “I wish I could, but I’m walking into work right now. I can’t call out when they can see me walking in the doors.”

You sigh, “do you know if Mor’s free?”

You can hear some commotion from Feyre’s surroundings, like she’s walking into a building.

“Mor has that internship she just started, I think she’s busy getting things ready for that.”

A beat pauses before Feyre continues, “I gotta go, but I’ll call you when I get off, okay? We can do something tomorrow if you’re free.”

You smile, “can we go to that axe throwing place we’ve been talking about for ages?”

She laughs, “absolutely. I’ll even print out a photo of your dad and hang it up on the target. Okay, I really gotta go, but if you wanna text me you can. I’ll respond when I can. Love you!”

She waits for you to echo her sentiment before hanging up, leaving you alone again. You spend the day trying to distract yourself, finding anything you can to distance yourself from the loneliness you feel. You unpack a few boxes you hadn’t gotten to, and after being fully moved in, you pour yourself a glass of soda to commemorate the occasion.

You sip from your glass as you begin cleaning the apartment, organizing the pantry, cleaning out the fridge, hell you even strip Cassian’s bed and clean his sheets and comforter.

Once the place is clean, you run out to the store, picking up what you need to make your favorite meal. You unpack your groceries when you come back, pour yourself a glass of wine, and sigh in contentment at spending an evening alone cooking your favorite pasta dish. You are determined to salvage some part of today, even if it’s just with a nice dinner. You’re playing music from your phone, the sounds drowning out the notification of a voicemail from your father that you’ve been ignoring all day.

You sip your wine as you stir the pasta, however the blaring sound of an ad startles you, causing wine to go all over the front of your clothes. You sigh, looking to the ceiling for strength to not break down. You take some deep breaths before peeling off your wine soaked dress, opening the laundry door to throw it into the washing machine. You’re hopeful that getting it in immediately will help prevent a stain from setting in, but you still pour a little extra stain remover in.

Once you get the machine going, standing in your kitchen in your underwear, you decide to make the most of this. The day sucked. All day all you had wanted to do was hide under your covers, hide from the world. You took a deep breath and told yourself “I’m done hiding.”

Your favorite song starts playing, and knowing that Cassian won’t be home for several more hours, you dance. You jump around your apartment, whipping your head around, letting out the loose bun your hair was in for the day.

You skip around, the sounds of Super Trouper by ABBA drowning out the door opening until suddenly something stops your music. Turning around you find Rhys’s hand hovering over your phone, having just stopped the music, and Azriel, whose gaze is on you, soaking in every detail of your little show.

You blink a few times, trying to ensure this is not a nightmare, however you don’t snap back to reality until the timer goes off for the pasta. All three of you whip your heads towards the timer, it’s tone jarring all three of you back to the present.

You groan, starting to back away back to your room. “What are you guys doing here?” You exclaim, “but more importantly - please drain my pasta while I find pants.”

You slip into your room, finding a comfy pair of sweats and a crop top, coming back out to find Azriel draining your pasta into the colander.

“Well?” You ask, cutting up the chicken you had pan-fried earlier. Azriel won’t look you in the eye, a blush evident across his face as he’s turned in the opposite direction, facing away from you.

Rhysand doesn’t have the same affliction.

He smirks at you, “is this how Cassian gets greeted when he comes home? I must say I’d be more chipper coming home to that little show than to Azriel.”

Azriel does not respond to the jab. Instead, he picks up another knife, helping you cut. Rhys just stands behind you two, leaning against the fridge.

“Cassian most certainly does not get greeted by my bare ass when he comes home,” you respond indignantly. The two of you have finished chopping, so you motion for all the chicken and the pasta to go into the pan with the pesto sauce concoction you’ve made. Azriel helps you stir it, and once it’s evenly distributed, you two pop it into the oven.

“Well your ass wasn’t bare, it was slightly covered by your very cute-“

The task at hand done and a new timer set, you turn to face Rhys, cutting him off. “I spilled wine on my clothes and I didn’t want it to set and then I got carried away when Abba came on.”

He only smiles back, “got a hot date for dinner tonight?”

Azriel tenses ever so slightly, but you don’t think too much of it as you respond, “yeah word on the street is she has an incredible rack and a great ass.”

“Having seen them first hand I think the rumors are true.”

You roll your eyes, but decide you’re done with this game and want some sincerity.

“I had a shitty day and I just wanted my favorite meal.” You look down, crossing your arms. You don’t like being vulnerable, especially around people you just met. You think about Cassian, and how much he loves the two guys in front of you. Maybe you can take a leap, and perhaps they’ll catch you.

“I’d actually enjoy the company if you guys want to stay. I made plenty of pasta to wallow in so I think there’s enough to go around.”

Your eyes stay on the ground as you move your hands up and down your arms, a nervous movement. You watch as Azriel’s foot comes into view, standing in front of you as he gently taps his foot against yours, a silent request to look at him. “I love pasta,” he tells you, looking into your eyes. You’re struck by the absence of pity in them, and how they are full of sincerity, of kindness.

You look away from him when Rhys starts talking, “It’s decided. You got a two for one deal tonight - two hot dates for the evening.”

You smile, the thought of being alone almost overbearing, when you remember, “why did you guys come over here anyway?”

Azriel sheepishly looks away, clearly thinking about how they caught you half naked when they walked in the door. Rhys tells you, “we wanted to watch Forest Gump and we knew Cassian had it on Blu-ray.”

You nod, looking over at Cassian’s wall of dvds and blu-rays, which you had to admit was quite impressive. “I’ve never seen it - is it any good?”

When Cassian got off work from the gym, he thought he’d come home to a dark apartment, scrounging the fridge for any remnants of food. What he didn’t expect to find was his two brothers watching Forrest Gump, and seeing a tupperware container in the fridge with a sticky note with his name on it in Azriel’s neat script.

He walks in, Azriel shooting daggers at him. The audacity, Cassian thinks, watching a movie in my place and being annoyed that I’m here. That is until he comes close enough to notice your head in Azriel’s lap, a hand curled up on his thigh. His eyes linger on his brother’s hand that is slowly massaging your scalp, the hands he had always been so nervous and protective over. Cassian realizes he’s never seen his brother leave his hands to be so openly observed outside of his brothers.

He stares for a minute as your blanketed back slowly rises and falls, clearly asleep, before he turns, giving his brother a shit eating grin where they have a conversation without words. The conversation essentially boils down to Cassian’s eyebrows raising up and down, and Azriel’s continued scowl at Cassian’s inability to move through a room without making as much noise as possible.

Azriel doesn’t relax until Cassian is sitting on the other couch next to Rhys, tuning into the movie when Forrest is walking around Washington D.C.

“She didn’t even make it halfway through the movie,” Cassian whispers to Rhys.

“No,” Rhys replies, looking at you curled up on the couch, a soft smile on his face, “but she did ask us to stay for dinner.”

[penfz]

Fcukin' Brats

SukunaXFemReader (Modern AU)

Summary: Reader is nervous in giving Sukuna a Valentine's Day gift, after her daughter suggests (demands) that she does.

A/N: First time actually posting a story on Tumblr, hopefully you enjoy.

Sukuna x FemReader Masterlist

"You want to what?" Y/N wanted to clarify as she stood in the grocery store, looking down at her child who had come up with such a kind, but sudden gesture. "I want to give Yuji and Suki chocolate for Valentine's Day." The young female answered back, looking back up at her with large eyes. "Alright, you're the boss Aika." Y/N answered back. She didn't think to much of it, Yuji was Aika's babysitter, so they were always together. And Sukuna... poor guy deserves chocolate for the poor nickname her daughter gave him Lol.

Y/N now stood in her kitchen, assisting her daughter to making chocolate for the Itadori brothers, while she was trying to figure out how she got roped in to also gifting them chocolate.

"Mama, you should give them chocolate too." "Sure, that's a good idea." Y/N didn't deny it, she is grateful to the Itadori brothers. "Give Suki heart shaped chocolate mama." Aika continued, watching her mother measure out all the ingredients. "... why?" "Yuji said you and Suki like each other, and that Suki will probably be sad if you don't give him chocolate." "Did he now?" Y/N sighed with an irritated look. She was going to kill that kid. "You're both right, I'll make chocolate for Sukuna." A sarcastic tone following.

Ah yes, that's how she was roped into giving chocolate to Sukuna, because of her daughter insisted. Heart shaped chocolate, nonetheless... great.

And while what Yuji had said is true, that her and Sukuna do like each other. The relationship was never established because of their positions at work. They're colleagues at work, both on different teams, but both high in position. A relationship between the two of them, was probably not ideal. Well... an established relationship was probably not ideal. Whatever else they did behind closed doors was between them.

Valentine's Day, Yuji had picked up Aika after school, and together they waited at the Itadori home for Y/N to pick her up.

But today was different, for Aika and Yugi had planned a devious plan too have Y/N and Sukuna have dinner tonight at the house. Both were fully aware that the two of them liked each other, both of them were also fully aware that they were going on dates together. Cause why was Y/N working late on the same nights Sukuna was supposedly going to the 'gym'.

The plan was simple, leave Y/N and Sukuna after dinner, and have Aika 'pretend' that she wants to show her new toy to Yuji back at her house. Thankfully the house was just next door.

And now, it was time to put their plan into action.

Yuji had let Y/N into the house, who had went home to change before coming over for dinner. Supposedly Yuji and Aika had persuaded Sukuna to cook dinner for four on Valentine's Day, which he thought was odd. But didn't bother in questioning it.

"This is the first time I've seen you look so domestic, 'Suki'." Y/N teased, seeing Sukuna cooking as she sat down at the island, Yuji running off to get Aika. "It's nice." "Saying you want me as a house wife?" Sukuna questioned back. "That an option?" "Brat."

Y/N could only laugh in return as their casual banter continued on, while the kids were somewhere else in the house.

Even during dinner, the banter continued on, with Yuji trying not to laugh at Sukuna for getting embarrassed with Y/N lightly flirting with him.

"Oh! I have a Valentine's gift for Yuji and Suki!" Aika announced proudly. Running off to her backpack to get it. It truly was a sweet gesture, gifting Yuji and Sukuna chocolate for Valentine's Day. The brother's had thanked Aika for her gift, with Yuji offering to share his other Valentine's chocolate with her.

Just as Aika and Yuji were about to leave the dinner table, Aika had turned around and yelled out, "Don't forget to give your Valentine's gift to Suki, mom!"

Y/N's eyes had gone wide as possible, as it was now Sukuna's turn to laugh at Y/N's embarrasment as the kids ran off next door to see Aika's toys.

"Valentine's gift, huh?" Sukuna began to tease now. "Shutup, it's for Yuji." Y/N replied back, not believing her daughter just exposed her like this. "Sure it is." Sukuna laughed back, now holding out his hand.

Y/N stared at Sukuna's open palm, before giving in and reaching into her own bag, and gifting Sukuna a bag of homemade chocolate. It was even cutely tied off in a pink bow with hearts.

"Oh, you went all out on your gift for me, didn't you Y/N? Heart shaped chocolate." Sukuna commented with a smirk, popping one in his mouth as he eyed you.

Y/N turned away, a blush on her face.

"They're sweet." Sukuna whispered in Y/N's ear. "Just like you."

By this point, Y/N's face was completely red.

And with that, Sukuna had taken this chance and grabbed Y/N's chin, turning her so he could fully kiss her on the lips. And Y/N didn't hesitate to kiss him back, she could even taste the chocolate she had gifted him. It tasted good, she did a great job making those chocolate.

Sukuna's hands grabbed at Y/N's waist and pulling her right against him, their kiss unending as he did so. To be honest, Sukuna was hoping to spend Valentine's Day with her, but was unsure due to the kids most likely wanting to have a Valentine's Day dinner together. So he was taking this opportunity while the kids were gone.

"Sukuna..." Y/N had slightly moaned out as he had then moved down to her neck, , kissing and nipping at the skin as his hands travelled down to her thighs, pushing up her skirt to her waist. His hands grabbing her bum, wanting to rip off her underwear.

"Let's go." Sukuna commented as he pulled away, grabbing the bag of chocolate. "Go?" Y/N questioned, as Sukuna then reached over to lift Y/N, grabbing her by her thighs.

"Sukuna, wait!" Y/N called out, as Sukuna carried her towards the stairs. "The kids!" "They're at your house." Sukuna commented. "Aika is showing Yuji her toys." "They could literally come back at any moment!" Y/N explained, realizing Sukuna was heading to his room. "No, they probably planned this, fcukin' brats."

Extra:

Aika and Yuji chilled in the living room of Y/N and Aika's home. Aika insisted they watch Frozen 2, even though they had watched it multiple times before, Yuji didn't mind.

"Hey Yuji, are you sure Suki has a crush on my mom?" Aika asked curiously. "Yeah, why?" Yuji questioned. The two of them were always plotting something to get the to them to date. "I think we should get Suki to sing for my mom, like how Christoph sings for Anna."

Yuji wouldn't stop laughing.

[averagewriter-inthedark]

Lt. Natasha “Phoenix” Trace — Fluffy Headcanons ❤️‍🔥 | Top Gun Maverick Headcanon

Link to my TGM masterlist

Dancing is weekly occurrence when in a relationship w/ Phoenix. She loves dancing and its better when she gets to hold you in her arms or spin you around. You two are the main attraction when you go to dance clubs. Sometimes when you’re home Phoenix will play music just to sway you side to side.

Whenever Phoenix lets her hair down you automatically love to run your fingers through it. She’s always keeping it up per regulation but you relish when its down in its natural wave. You especially love when its hair washing day and she needs your assistance. “Babe, can you help me with—.” “YES!”

Phoenix loves to cook and is always trying new recipes. You’ll be her taste tester and when its your turn in the kitchen she can’t help but stand to the side and watch you. You are that couple who plan your week’s worth of meals and go to the commissary or grocery store together to get the stuff. But never go on an empty stomach—cause then you leave with your cart overflowing with shit you didn’t come for in the first place.

Y’all are the ones who would host a Friendsgiving w/ the other members of the Dagger Squad. It became a tradition with y’all having a specific theme each year. One year it was everyone had to make a dish that started with the first letter of their name, then another you all dressed up ad Maverick. This past year involved going around the table and unpacking celebrity scandals.

You and Nat are not just partners, but each other’s best friend & cheerleader. In the gym you are pushing each other to get another rep in. When it comes to your jobs you’re both there to listen when the other needs to rant about the rough day they had. “Today the Gs were just too much and it gave me a headache. I was off target by five seconds.” You two are always going out of your way to make sure the other knows they are loved. Even if it small & simple gestures. “I ran you a bath if you’re feeling up to it. I went out yesterday to get those bath salts you love.”

Date night is a weekly ritual. They mostly consist of walks on the beach, dinner and movie night, of going to the arcade since you two are competitive. You’ll go to the fair when its in town or splurge on a concert every once and a while. It’s something you always look forward to at the end of the week when you’re free from nights nose deep in work where you can enjoy time with your lover.

Phoenix is a total book worm, in fact, the reason y’all met was because she saw you reading a favorite book if hers in a cafe. She was on her lunch break and needed a quick coffee to keep her going when she spotted you in the corner table completely invested in the book you had. When she saw the title —and how absolutely gorgeous you were—Nat walked up to you saying, “that’s a great book you’ve got there. One of my favorite reads this year. What part are you at?” You, completely speechless by the beautiful woman in front of you, stuttered out a response. Before Nat knew it she was well over her lunch break after you two fell deep into discussion over the main character. Once y’all became official, you guys would have nights where you cuddled up to Nat just to listen to her read aloud.

If you’re an artist of some form—photographer, musician, painter, writer, poet, etc—Nat would be your muse. Anything that came to your creative mind often involved her in some way, shape, or form. Your memory card would be filled with images of her doing candid things like reading, cooking, working on her car, or simply walking down the street ahead of you. The song book with pages upon pages of lyrics referenced her doe eyes and gorgeous smile. The protagonist/love interest of your novel would be based around her personality. Paintings often depicted Nat or drew inspiration from your relationship.

Rooster and Bob are your closest friends in the squad. Bob because he wad Nats backseater and best friend, and Rooster because not only did he know Nat the longest but also was the first to welcome you to their little family. He’d be the first person you’d go to when asking for advice on what to get Nat for birthday, anniversary, promotion and what not. You and Bob often have deep discussions where he gives wonderful advice whenever you’re seeking a third party opinion.

Nat loved dogs so expect to have multiple in your home. You guys are always fostering to help the local animal shelter—which sometimes makes you regret it since you always cry when an animal you’ve attached to has to leave. You guys have adopted four fur babies and must live off base since on base residents are only required two pets. And there’s no way in hell you’re surrendering/re-homing your fur children. “Wait Nat, they’ve all bonded—we can’t separate them!!” “Then we’re gonna need a bigger house, baby….one with a giant yard.”

[fractallogic]

Feels fitting that on a day where I’m FUCKING PISSED ABOUT EVERYTHING (ie, I hit a wall at about 12:30 and have been operating on negative spoons and less sleep since then) that the Avs lose AGAIN, I have an unsatisfying dinner (only after I go to the store after the gym to get literally two things and then realize when I get home that it would be much faster to just boil some pasta even though that’s not really what I want, but I am SO hungry), my thumb starts getting inflamed again, Artemis REFUSES to stay out of the plants until I lose my patience and yell at her, and to TOP IT ALL FUCKING OFF

THE FUCKING SMOKE ALARM GETS SET OFF BY MY SHOWER EVEN THOUGH I HAVE THE WINDOW FULLY OPEN

I am also stressing myself out about a potluck for the ling department happening tomorrow night that I just found out about, even though I’m not even sure it would be a good choice for my mental health to go (because I am not satisfied enough with my post-academic position to not be incredibly envious of people who are still gainfully employed as linguists, or even just as salaried, non-micromanaged employees who happen to also be doing the exact work that I wish I were doing), and would either be rushed and show up late, show up chill and on time empty handed, or show up chill and on time with some kind of grocery store food (there’s not even a Trader Joe’s in that direction so I couldn’t even fake a nice-ish charcuterie platter)

Like unless I’m really feeling it, why stress myself out about it!!!

ALSO I was feeling incredibly sad about the prospect of seeing Artemis (and therefore potentially also my partner when scone gets here permanently) for only three hours today (THREE HOURS?!) because I went to the gym and the grocery store after work and I knew I’d be putting us both to bed around now, and I freed her from the cathroom basically ten minutes before I went to work… what the fuck kind of life is that. There was no goddamn reason for me to be at work in the office today. I knew that going. If I could decide when I was going to be in the office, I would have stayed home. I HATE that I can’t make my own schedule anymore, or at least that I have to get approval to work from home. WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT. She’s only my CAT and I’m sad I can’t see her for more than three hours! WHT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SCONE GETS HERE.

I am really overtired and I’m blowing things out of proportion and getting really worked up about things and basically just throwing a tantrum but OH MY FUCKING GOD I JUST WANT TO SCREAM AND THE FUCKING SMOKE DETECTOR WAS THE LAST FUCKING STRAW

[agentlemansavage]

After a a mandatory week off from the gym im back.

Lemme tell you I didn't wanna be here today. I promised myself I would be. It sucked. Everything about today sucked, but I made it to the gym. I completed my workout. I went to the store. I bought groceries. I'll make dinner tonight, ill study a bit maybe relax with a game or two and then ill pop in my discord and go to bed like I have for months.

Keeping yourself honest is hard, especially after being lazy for so long. But I'm here and I'm putting in the work and I'm not going to stop.

Minor update I'm supposed to be writing down a gratitude journal. I cannot stress how much i hate this even though its part of the reason I'm supposed to do it. I'm not kidding when I say this is difficult I could always just write something that's corny but i feel like it defeats the whole purpose so I'm digging deep for this.

I'm grateful for meeting such an amazing person who could shift my entire focus and kick my ass into gear. Honestly it sucks she's not here right now but I also know without her I would have just continued to fall futher and further from myself. So I'm honestly I'm grateful because without her I wouldn't have started finding myself again and truth be told I like me.

I guess theres no way to not sound corny but that's real and its hard to be that kind of honest about a situation thats extremely hard to deal with.

Anyway here's a picture if me at 17 and me now. Posting this simply because as much of a fucking idiot fuck boy I was at 17 I was also confident, I was also happy. I was still trying and this is me at 31 getting back in touch with those things.

End transmission.

[now-we-say-c0ral]

December 28, 2023

I'm still off sick until tomorrow because of this stomach bug. Been pooping less now but my stomach still hurts. What the fuck did I eat that upset my stomach so bad?

Ed went to work even though he wasn't 100%. I was nagging again but it feels like I'm talking to a tree. I just let him be and just told him to pack some medicine and his lunch as well.

I just played Pokemon the whole morning and made myself a high protein brunch-dinner around 12:30pm. Took a shower and went to the gym. I did chest, biceps, and abs today. It was a good session but my legs were a bit sore from yesterday's training. They're going to be screaming tomorrow when I'm hitting my legs again. I do legs twice a week now because Monty's legs inspired me to have cuts on my quads.

Went home and saw Ed covered in his warm poncho. That's cute. I reheated the mung beans and made some rice for his dinner. I won't be eating. I have to be more strict with myself because New Year will be the last time I'm going to be eating a lot of food. Fingers crossed.

Just playing Pokemon trying to fill the Pokedex and we're just watching JJK tonight. It's been a good day.

December 27, 2023

I was supposed to be working today but called in sick at 7am because of a 'stomach bug' and I'm not really feeling well. Ed wasn't feeling well too but he still insisted to go to work because that's just like him. I foresee that he will be back before 10am because he really didn't seem well sleeping last night. He came back drunk as fuck and he was running a fever, I think. It's the result of his relentless partying since the 23rd. Yes, I was nagging when he came back at 9:30am.

I went to the gym despite of my stomach bug and my stomach still hurts bad a lot. I did legs, abs, and shoulders. It was a good gym session for me. I also went to Morrisons to get some essentials for me and Ed because he's sick. I think it's Covid but we both tested and they came back negative.

I cooked mung bean soup for the sick boy and made him some Berocca to help him with his fever. He's still so warm. I told him to take a shower to help him.

I finished the Kitakami and Indigo Disk DLC last night and I've never been happier playing a DLC in Pokemon. It was so good! I love Carmine the most because she reminds me of me.

While I was in the grocery store, a thought came to me. It's so exhausting being a giver when you're in a relationship with a taker. Ed's not doing it on purpose. It's just how he is. That's him in his default. I'm exhausted and it took a lot of guts to finally say this because I've been trying to come up with explanations why I feel this way when I knew why from the start. I've changed, too. I'm less now. Maybe that's a good thing. I'm not going to be that tired anymore. I'm glad that I finally said it. It's so reaffirming. It's sad though that I have to keep myself from giving more of me to him but I'm happy because that means I get to have more of me for myself. I think it makes sense, right?

Kevin and I also agreed to meet for coffee on the 13th of Saturday. It's the third attempt after randomly seeing each other at the station to meet up for coffee but I think we'll see it through this time.

December 26, 2023

Finally! A long, well-deserved sleep after the physical stress that the 24-25th has given me. Those were happy days but I think ageing has made my mood sour. I think I grew up to be a Squidward.

I wanted to go to the gym but I saw online that they'll be reopening on the 27th. Seems like I can't burn the excess calories I've eaten the past few days. If it's not freezing cold here in the UK, it's fucking wet and windy. We can't choose a struggle here because we live with them all. Checking my bank account and I'm literally trying to process how I'm going to manage everything and it's not even January yet. I don't really know.

Ed went to Stevenage to attend their Filipino Christmas Party with his friends but I didn't want to attend mainly because my social battery has run out and I just want to be a potato in the bed gradually growing its roots.

I did nothing all day but I did record myself rapping Nicki Minaj's verse on Monster.

[the-mess-of-a-dreamerrr]

The week of a dreamer...

Sunday

Today was a pretty casual day. I got to sleep-in-ish (till 7, thank you Mac) and then I read a little bit that morning before I started making everyone brunch. I made cheese eggs, chicken sausage, protein smoothies, half a bagel for everyone, and some fruit. It was delicious. After this Raina and I went to Trader Joes. Raina is absolutely obsessed. Whenever she comes she always has to make a trip and ends up with an entire car full of groceries. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate trader joes…I just think they are a bit over hyped? She is always in shock that I live in Birmingham and yet never go. To me, it's just trendy. After this we go to the gym. Her and I do very different workouts so the entire hour we were there we were on opposite sides of the gym. I do a mix between cardio and floor stuff and she just does floor stuff. I was pretty proud of myself for making it through 30 minutes on the stair stepper again. Once we finish up we go across the street to pick up my laptop and show her my office. I always find it awkward showing someone my office. I never really know what seems interesting to an outsider to show them???? We were there a solid 3 minutes before we ended up driving home. 

The rest of the time all Raina wanted to do was watch Wednesday and other dark TV shows. She was also on her phone 100% of the time but yet still didn’t want me to change the television to something I wanted to watch or let me read my book. I was pretty annoyed. Especially because I was getting to a really juicy part of my book and I’m not really a monster and vampire kind of person. Anywhooooo Spencer got the phone call about him becoming Night Shift Manager which was both exciting and bitter sweet. This is 100% of what we had been praying for ever since they offered him the job and then retracted his offer back in October. They invited him to dinner that night to go over the job role and officially sign acceptance documents. This is amazing because of multiple reasons:

He is skipping like 2 job positions between his current role and night shift manager which is HUGE that they see his leadership ability and hardwork

He will have PTO time!!! Only one week, but thats better than nothing. 

401k

A pretty beautiful pay increase

Only has to work 2 saturdays a month rather than every saturday

Since his store has been remodeled he only has been able to work about ½ the hours he normally does and is only getting paid a small portion at whatever chickfila he works since he is just a floater for the time being. So basically I have been the sole financial giver since November. We haven’t been hurting financially but we definitely haven't been able to live like we are used to and have had a lot of big price items (mac’s surgery, fence, HOA annual fee, allergy annual fee) all at once so it's been very stressful and anxiety ridden for me so I am excited to finally start working towards some of our savings goals again rather than just surviving. 

Now the down side:

The name is night shift which means our schedules will be exactly the opposite and I won’t really get to see him in the evening. 11am-7pm (2 days), and 2pm-10pm (2 nights), and food truck 8am-8pm(1 day). We’ve done these hours before when we first got married when he worked for Enterprise in Mobile so I know it’ll be fine. I just remember it sucking a whole lot and me being sad and lonely.

That's it. It's just that one thing. He probably is actually excited that he doesn’t have to go to work at 4:30 am everyday but I am being a baby about it. 

Anyways, after this news I tried talking Raina into watching something more upbeat like a comedy show or a romcom…she told me single people don't watch Rom Coms and I would like to state that is a silly excuse not to watch funny movies. But overall I was just glad that I had Raina there and that her phone habits made it to where I could still talk to you throughout the night.

Monday

I slept in slightly later than I normally would but I heard Raina getting up at 8 so decided to go ahead and get out of bed to make her breakfast. Raina stayed only a couple of hours after then left to go back to Auburn. Spencer had work this morning so I had a couple of hours to myself. I decided to go workout again and do some back-up grocery shopping. Spencer had gone on Saturday but missed about 5 things that we needed. When I got back I started on the laundry, cleaned out the garage (SO MANY SPIDERS), and washed the inside and outside of my car which took a lifetime. I was running around nonstop till about 6. That's when I finished my last load of laundry and put everything up. I am as shocked as everyone else that it is now 3 weeks into the month and I’ve done this well with my new years resolution. 

There was a time span between 6-and 7:30 when I started messaging back to you that I was with Spencer. This time slot has a lot of emotions built into it that was spilled over from what happened on Thursday. I am going to leave this section blank.

I really liked this night of messaging you. I saw a very confident side of you that I am not used to seeing. 

Tuesday

Basically a Monday for me and was filled with playing catch up from last week and all the emails from over the weekend. Although, I had a pretty good handle on everything and even got to -shocker- be able to take a lunch break. 

I am glad I was by my phone though to be able to see your message. Which is pretty unusual because most of the time I don’t even look at my phone until it's almost time to go home. To say I was shocked is an understatement. I don’t know why but I feel like the past couple of weeks the world is just trying to tear down a lot of the progress that you’ve made. This past year I have been so proud of the way you have handled everything. You have given yourself grace and the time to mourn past hopes/dreams while also chasing new ones. You’ve stayed focused on your goals and have continued showing up for yourself. I just want to remind you that I see you. I see all the mountains you’ve climbed. I see the effort that you’ve given. And I see the hurt that you are treading through on a daily basis. I see you and think about how strong of a man you are. That you should be proud of yourself for this past year that you’ve had and not let whatever is going on in Anna’s life or her family get in the way of your happiness today. 

I was so excited that I found my old questions in my notes app. I think you needed some good questions after the past weeks you’ve had. I think it is absolutely W I L D you said 15 owls. I am going to be asking my entire branch this question in my morning meeting. 

Wednesday

Today I had a lot on my docket..renew Notary, 3 coaching sessions with associates, 1 customer appointment, and then branch manager meeting all afternoon, and dinner with Susan. I actually really enjoy days like this because it's almost a competition with myself to see if I can successfully complete everything on my list. In college this was a daily thing with all of my classes, jobs, and activities and I miss the euphoria that I would get at the end of the day knowing that against all odds I could do more than I thought I was capable of. I was so excited to wake up and start listening to a new episode of your podcast. I was happy to see that it wasn't super long so I knew even with my crazy day the odds of me being able to listen to its entirety was good. I had to drive to Columbiana today since when you get a notary you have to go to probate court to request it in the county that you live in. Even though I work in Jefferson County I live in Shelby. I find it very odd that probate court is in Columbiana of all places. It is kinda surrounded by nothing but an absolutely gorgeous town. Their court building is also insanely gorgeous. 

By the time I had made it there that morning I had finished the finale episode. I enjoyed that we kinda just landed in the middle of the action again and that your character was very witty in his sleep darts idea which set everything up for success. I will admit I had to rewind and listen to a couple of spots multiple times because I am a visual learner and it was hard for me to imagine in my head what was happening so I did that like 3 times until I felt satisfied with the mental picture in my head that yall’s words had created. At first I was a little disappointed in yall breaking it up into 3 parts and making me wait (no reason really other than I am impatient), but I think it was best because we got a taste of everything in the finale. It gave us a little bit of action but enough time to wrap the story up and start to say our goodbyes to the characters for the time being. Once it ended I had peace about where everything ended up and was excited to find out whatever yall come up with the emblem storyline to continue it. I think the marvel-like teaser at the end was genius for whoever decided on that. 

By the time I walked back in the door I didn’t even have a chance to sit down before I had not one, not two, but three associates standing in my office waiting for me to do something for them. I love feeling needed but sometimes I have to curb my disappointment/annoyance that even after all this time they still rely on me so much. And honestly, most of it is their laziness because they know that I know the answer but don’t want to take the time to look it up or they want to pass it off to me because they are again too lazy to do it themselves. Well, I was proud of myself because I got up and said look at the schedule, if you are not the associate on it then I need you out of my office and to respect my time and your co-workers time that I have set aside to help them in their career. They were all upset, but you know what happened? The world moved on and they did what they could've been doing for themselves all along. I think my biggest annoyance is these are all people that question my right to be in my position but have been at Regions the same amount of time. I don’t know how to get them to see that I am not special nor do I have any special talent to have the success that I do now. I just did my job and used the tools that I had to learn as much as possible which they too have access to. ANyway. I’ll step off of my soap box. Buuuuttt… then I had 3 GREAT coaching sessions. My favorite part of my job is these coaching appointments. Because I love seeing someone take a skill that they have been struggling with and overcoming it. It literally fills me with so much joy. Because they come in with self doubt and leave with a new sense of purpose and confidence and I wish someone could wrap that feeling up in a bottle so that I could experience it whenever I am having a bad day. 

2 of them were annual reviews(called RPM)/coaching and one was just coaching. I was really nervous about two of the annual reviews because this year Region’s did something different and had the associates “self rate” themselves in the 4 categories so that when I did my review we can have a discussion on if they didn’t align. We have 4 categories, and each one we rank either ineffective, developing (only for new people), Proficiencent, advanced, and Role model. Well, these two had ranked themselves as role model or advanced when in reality they were only reaching goals in about half of the categories. So I was worried that they were going to be very upset. But in my reviews i try to talk about their strengths, the good things they did in the year and where they stood out, their areas of opportunity and how they can leverage their strengths to be successful in those areas, and then based on their career path tell them where they could be if they were successful in all categories. And I think that how I presented it to them actually got them excited to start on their area of opportunities and we made a career map for the year to track their progress and worked on a couple of those skills in the meantime. It was a BLAST. 

So I was on cloud nine except….I had lost track of time and had been supposed to leave for my manager meeting at the corporate offices like 30 minutes ago. So I headed up my chili soup I had in the fridge and pretended I was in mario kart and made it to the building with one minute to spare. I also learned eating soup while driving should be an olympic sport lol. I was happy to see that I was not the only one running behind and walked in with 2 other managers to the security desk. Turns out our names were not on the list and we had to call my area manager to let us in the building. We pretended we had been there a while so we wouldn't get in trouble for being late lol. The meeting was like any old meeting except for some fun dynamics. So my manager is not very subtle about his aggression. He had visited a branch that morning and was grilling the branch manager the entire afternoon. On multiple occasions he put the numbers up for the branch on the giant projector to show what you SHOULDNt be doing and what not to look like. And to make matters worse on the reverse he was putting my branch numbers up to show what to do to reach goals. He does a terrible job with encouragement and basically just made everyone fearful of being publicly shamed if they had a bad week. I also was getting nervous because I too had a branch visit the very next day. We also learned in this meeting that my area manager does one on one’s with his wife every two weeks for them to sit down and go over areas of opportunity and even have a joint one note on their phone so that he can keep track of what his wife is doing to improve…..have zero ideas how his wife has been married to him for 14 years. 

After this I had dinner at my favorite mexican restaurant with my old assistant manager Susie who I can only describe as a firecracker. I know that everytime I go anywhere with her she is going to embarrass me so I just prepare for a lot of awkward stares. Sure enough when she walks in she loudly screams “ where is my hot date?! I am meeting with the hottest chick in town” and everyone turns and she looks at me and dances to the booth. I kid you not that is exactly as it played out. She keeps me humble. She tells me about her new guy and I am in full shock. She met him on facebook dating in September and he makes 480k a year and owns multiple moving companies, storage units, commercial properties, etc. The amount of diamonds she was wearing that he had given her was enough to make me stop breathing. She also was wearing the Rolex he got her for christmas. She showed me the pictures of how he had remodeled her house while she was away in Washington visiting family and the roses that he had bought her for her birthday. She said they would have 2 weddings. One here and one at the top of a mountain in Washington state and of course I was invited to both. She said she is going to keep working up until the wedding but after that was going to quit her job since he wanted to take her traveling around the world and he didn’t think it was right for a woman to work when he had plenty.I was excited for her but also nervous. This guy sounds too good to be true, but that may just be the pessimist in me. I also get nervous because I know of her story with her past husband who so terribly abused her in the most awful ways and I am just fearful of her getting into a situation with another man that has all the power again. But I knew she didn’t want to hear this just yet and made plans with her to go hiking in the next couple of months so that we could talk more. With these things you have to be very careful of how you present them. 

She also asked me why I wasn’t pregnant yet. And then proceeded to tell me what works for horses (yes, you read that right) when they are getting pregnant and what I needed to start doing because if it works for them it’ll work for me. She proceeded to go down this tangent very loudly until the waiter had to come up and say that another table that had kids had complained because of the graphic nature of the conversation. She is still keeping me humble. She said a lot of other stuff on the subject. This is my least favorite thing to talk to another female about. And one that I knew I would struggle with. But knowing that this would be a pressure point hasn’t made experiencing it any easier. Susie is very much not aware because I think I was about a minute away from bursting into tears. 

After dinner I felt very inferior, a lot of shame, and add on top of that bloating from the queso and chips and I was any second away from a full on panic attack. But instead of giving in I pulled into the gym parking lot and exercised as much of that away as I could. The drive home I turned on my ‘woman scorned” playlist and by the time I got home I was almost a normal person again. 

I was very glad to learn your surprise was questions because I needed a day not to think too hard about my life and only about what Jelly is my favorite. It made me laugh whenever you found out that we actually did have a couple of the things that we were not the same on. I even got to see confident Sam again towards the end. Crazy how you can take an innocent question and turn it like that. 

Before we said goodnight I remembered the dream I had the previous night. It was about me struggling to juggle you, my life, and spencer. In it I felt like I was being pulled in a million different directions and had woken up right before someone was about to see my phone with messages to you in it. I went to bed thinking about it knowing fully well why my dreams had landed on that topic. I couldn’t get to sleep after that. I decided to power through and finish my book. And I am sad to say that I was right. The woman was to be the next victim and it was the guy I thought it was (the detective). It was too convenient for it to be the boyfriend or the neighbors. But she did survive before he was able to chop off her head and the detective was actually killed by his own mother. 

Thursday

Another day with a full schedule. 

The day started out with a Vestavia Hills Chamber of Commerce breakfast meeting to honor the Trustees. I was selected again this year and had to be in attendance. During this we also had to take our headshots that would be in the magazine so I had to wake up extra early to make sure I looked good. Last year I didn’t know we were taking head shots and I swear it is the worst photo of me ever captured. To make matters worse when you google me it's one of the first ones to come up. So I had to ensure this one looked at least somewhat presentable. It was the same photographer from last year that l loathe and not just because he took the bad head shot last year. He always makes remarks that just make me incredibly uncomfortable. Like today he leaned forward and while moving my hair for the photo he said “no this is to make sure you look pretty don’t claim I’ve touched you after this! I always have to be careful nowadays....um I dare you not to feel uneasy as someone is touching you while insinuating that during this moment they could make a sexual advance on you and then saying that you would be the type of person to “falsely accuse” them of making a sexual advance on them. Like…why even go there?!?

Anywho…after that I have two more ROCK star coaching sessions and an appointment with my favorite elderly customer. I helped her set up an email address for the first time and set up her online banking and bill payments to automatically come out. A couple of months earlier a check had been stolen out of the mail and we had a discussion on the dangers of only writing checks and the benefits of online banking and she had told me she would only do it with my help. She was absolutely precious and had 3 long notebook papers filled with lists of questions that were even more adorable. Some of them were questions like “can I have an email address if I own a cell phone,” “what is a mobile phone app,” and “what is the difference between online banking and mobile banking.” You would have thought I had shown her that she had won a million dollars when she found out she could see images of the checks she had written on the account overview on online banking. She is so wholesome and I am absolutely obsessed with elderly people. 

After my appointment I quickly ate some Publix sushi from across the street and got back just in time for my boss to be walking in the door with his branch visit. This visit was one of my favorites because probably for the first time since I’ve been at vestavia he had a visit at my branch by himself without any exec or someone from corporate in toe. Tyler and I have our disagreements and differences but we both like being the best and he knows that I give my 110% and he doesn’t have to point out to me when I’m falling short in an area. And I'm actually in the top 100 branches in all of Regions bank so far this year. So he did probably the best thing ever and said “I know that you are a manager I don’t need to worry about so do your normal stuff and I’m going to work on my computer.” And told me to enter in my own coaching plan for my branch for what I am going to do this quarter. I said aye aye captain and didn’t ask questions. We ended up having a HUGE sales day with major successes to talk about in our evening meeting with 3 big loan apps, huge investment referrals, and a total of 13 financial reviews done in a day. I couldn’t have written a more perfect meeting for my boss to be present for. Also, I went around individually asking everyone my owl questions and turns out you are the craziest of all. I think the most anyone said was 3! 

I was going to go workout but Spencer messaged me and said he was making my favorite meal for me. So I hurried to leave work to get home. On the way home I started falling asleep while driving back. I guess hustling the past 2 days had finally caught up to me. When I got back Spencer gave me flowers and we had a really delicious meal (pork chops in the air fryer with white magic seasoning). I knew what this night meant to him. It again had a lot of emotion overflowing from last week. 

I’ll leave the next couple of hours blank. 

I was in bed by 8. My friend Ashley called me on her weekly one hour grocery run away from the kids and she shared with me some exciting news from her job and updated me on her two girls. I love talking with Ashley because I think she and I are the most alike. Her work ethic is very similar to mine and her career is very important to her. She is also one of the most intelligent and gifted people I’ve ever met and I’m very proud of her for not losing that part of herself even after having 2 kids and the mess that life brings. She even asked about you towards the end of the call and I had to cut her off because I was on speaker and Spencer was laying in the bed next to me. 

I almost messaged you goodnight just so that you knew I was thinking about you but caught myself. I know being my friend isn’t easy and a night without me is probably what you needed to refocus yourself. I try not to be a stumbling block but I know that it's hard to look to the future when your past is blowing up your phone. I checked my messages maybe 25 times today. Both hoping to see your name and knowing that not seeing your name was a good thing for you. 

There are a lot of hard things that come with our situation. I can think of 3 that have been screaming at me this week. 

Friday

I woke up about 2 am feeling awful. I got up, took a lot of medication and tried to go back to sleep. By the time I woke up I realized that I was full blown sick. But, because of me having packed schedules the past 2 days and it being a short weekend I still had work to do. So I got ready and went into work and locked myself in my office and told the branch to enter at your own risk. I was working till I finished my urgent to-do list and the rest could wait till Monday. I worked till 12 then came home. I felt terrible because I was supposed to work tomorrow but Tatsiana volunteered to take my shift. I think I hate asking people for favors more than I hate Auburn football.

By the time I got home I saw the message from you and smiled. I was going to nap but I figured that the only thing that was going to make me feel better was typing this up for you. This letter isn’t as amazing as yours because there is a lot of stuff that’s is off limits (refer back to part 2 on my blog), but I wanted to surprise you with something for a change. You always tell me I deserve a million letters but I think you got it wrong. You deserve a million and one. Even if they aren’t from me. 

January 20, 2023

-MV

[missmonsters2]

today I feel awful... idk my insecurities are taking over me and I just want to curl into a ball and cry. maybe it's my hormones maybe the fact that I weighted myself and found out I gained weight (I can't fit into my jeans 😭) and the fact that I saw my sister in a tight skin dress looking perfect while I'm in my pj's just destroyed my confidence. I need something angsty to read to make me forget about my sad, miserable lffe right now. would you be down in writing sth angsty with nat maybe? you don't have to though. it's fine either way. I really appreciate all of your work and I keep reading on repeat whenever I'm feeling down. makes me cheer up. thank you, van ❤️

It's like we're the same person because I also went to visit my sister recently and my sister has gotten her life together and is living her best hot girl bod while I...let's not go there.

I just want you to know that you're hot as fuck and a body is just a body that we can change with time and effort. We're lit rally in this together. This time next year, we will be rocking the body that makes up happy and we'll be healthy!!! 💘💘

But I will still give you nat angst...but with a happy ending bc I said you deserve a HEA!!

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The Withers of Springtime Bloom

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spring is a time of blooming and when things come back to life. You can't help but notice things that may be causing your relationship with Natasha to wither.

Warnings: self-esteem issues, insecurities about body, relationship with working out and food, seasonal depression. angst with HEA.

Count: 2.1k~

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You're not sure when things changed.

Things change so slowly after all.

Without you noticing, things change and change and change until one day, you do notice.

You notice that Natasha has become quieter, somber.

You notice the lack of date nights and affectionate touches.

You notice that you've let yourself go a little.

You're standing in front of the mirror, staring at your body with a frown. You've gained weight since dating Natasha, but relationship weight gain was normal, wasn't it?

But you remember how Natasha was just as fit as she was before she met you. Sure, she was a superhero, and you were a regular civilian; there was no reason for you to train long hours as Natasha did.

Still...

You turn to the side and peer at yourself in the mirror again.

You can't help but wonder...were you becoming less attractive to her?

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It had been the beginning of fall when you met Natasha. You loved the season of change and when things turned into warm colors before withering away for winter to come.

Natasha had come like a blessing, and in the winter, she was just warm as the colors of fall. Instead of withering away, she bloomed and invested that warmth in your relationship with her.

Despite always being an early riser to work out, weekends were the days she stayed in bed with you just a little longer. There had been so many breakfasts, lunch, and dinner dates. You found yourself moving things around or neglecting to work around her busy schedule.

Perhaps that was when things began to change. Eating out so often and forgoing working out to spend time with Natasha was what led to this.

Spring has arrived, and things are coming back to life. Yet somehow, your relationship with Natasha was withering away.

"Hey," you greet her as you come home, shopping bags in hand. You bought some more clothes when things felt like they didn't fit comfortably anymore. The experience had been upsetting for you, and you didn't end up buying too much, telling yourself you didn't want to spend too much when you were going to lose the weight.

Natasha was working in her office, peering down over reports, and barely acknowledged you other than with a hum.

"Long day?" You ask her as you put your things away and walk over to her.

"Yeah," Natasha sighed. "Trying to get these reports done since Maria needs them tomorrow."

That had been Natasha's excuse for spending long hours in her office every night for the last two weeks.

You place your hand on Natasha's shoulder with a reassuring squeeze, but she leans to the side as if to readjust herself, but still away from your touch.

The sting immediately comes, but you try to push it down, so it doesn't hurt as bad.

"Right," you say hoarsely, but Natasha stares on at the reports. "I'm just going to get ready for bed. It's been a long day and all. Let me know if you need anything."

Natasha gives you a nod as you leave the room. You feel awkward as you lie in the bed you share with her. You wonder if you're taking up too much space.

There's a pang of something as you try to curl yourself to be smaller and only distantly realizing you've skipped dinner before you fall asleep.

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You fall back onto the mat, chest heaving and your lungs burning.

It's been a while since you've worked out, and now you're definitely paying for it with how unfit you are.

The gym is moderately empty with the hour it is. You hate going to a public gym because it always feels like someone is staring, but it's better for strangers to stare than working out at the Compound for people you know to stare at you.

The rational part of you knows that you should just talk to Natasha, but the emotional side of you whispers that you won't like what Natasha has to say, that she might even end it before you've had a chance to change yourself.

When weeks pass, and you weigh yourself again, you almost start crying because you've only lost a couple of pounds.

It's normal, you know it is. You're losing weight at a normal rate, but it's not enough. You know fast weight loss wouldn't make sense for your body but you also feel you don't have half a year to go back to your normal weight.

You sit on the bathroom floor for hours, debating what to do when you hear a quiet knock.

"Sweetheart, are you in there?" Natasha's muffled voice comes through.

You wipe at your eyes furiously as you stand up.

"Y-Yeah," you answer back. "I'm just in the tub soaking."

There's a moment of silence through the door before Natasha answers back, "Alright. Enjoy yourself. Did you want me to order anything specific for dinner?"

"No, it's okay," you tell her. "You order anything you want. I already ate on my way home." You think about the chicken salad you've been eating for the past two weeks and almost sigh.

Natasha answered that she just came back to see if you've eaten, but she actually had to head back to the Compound. You were Natasha shuffling around before leaving through the front door, and you let out the breath you were holding.

You actually take a long, hot shower before putting on sweats and a big hoodie.

The truth was, you were hungry. The chicken salad was okay on the way home, but it had been a couple of hours since.

You knew starving yourself wasn't the answer, so you went into the kitchen to see if you could find something healthy to hold you over until you could go to bed.

But you can't find anything in the fridge except for Natasha's leftovers from whatever she ordered the day before. You can't find anything except frozen pizzas and microwavable foods.

You check the calories on the back and let out a frustrated sigh. Checking your watch, you realize it's too late in the evening to go grocery shopping because, by the time you get there, stores will have closed.

You slump down on the floor, leaning against the cabinets as you let out a pathetic whimper while your eyes became hot with tears.

You miss Natasha. You want Natasha holding you and telling you it would be okay. But you couldn't have that until you were back to what you were when you met her.

The front door suddenly opens.

"Have you seen my—sweetheart?" Natasha started to call before she noticed you sitting on the floor. "What's wrong?"

You use your sleeve to wipe at your eyes as you sit up straight.

"Nothing," you sniffle before you start to stand. "I just stubbed my toe against the edge of the kitchen island. What were you looking for? USB? You left it next to the bedside."

Natasha stares at your back, hair still wet as she takes in your attire.

"It's a little hot to be wearing a hoodie and sweats, isn't it?" Natasha asks softly. "Doesn't seem like you turned on the aircon in here."

You keep walking, but Natasha starts to follow you.

"'m cold," you say quietly so she can't hear the tremble in your voice.

"Are you feeling sick?" Natasha asks with concern as you sit down on the couch, turning on the TV. You pull the blanket over you as if to make your point.

"No," you tell her because you don't want her to worry. "Just cold after a bath."

Natasha sets her things down before she takes a seat next to you. Even in the low lighting, she can see your eyes rimmed red and dampness of them.

You're refusing to look at her as you have your knees drawn up to your chest and stare stubbornly at the TV screen.

Then she hears it.

Your stomach grumbles.

"Are you hungry, sweetheart?" Natasha asks softly again. "We can just order food and stay in tonight."

Your cheeks grow hot. "Don't you have to be at the Compound?"

You don't mean to snap at her, but you can't help but feel embarrassed.

Natasha remains quiet for a moment, quickly thinking over the last few weeks before she feels guilt trickle in.

She doesn't remember the last time she ate with you—doesn't remember the last time she saw you eat.

"Sweetheart," she calls you gently again, and you bristle at the tone. "Is there something wrong?"

The fragile dam you've built to keep the weeks of compiling emotions at bay breaks, and you're hurtling down the stream over the waterfall.

"Are you not in love with me anymore?" You choke out as you begin to cry.

You can't even register to feel horrified at your breakdown because you just need to know.

"I know...I know my body has changed since we first met and I've gained weight but I really am trying to lose it. I just—I feel like you're avoiding me. At first, I thought things at work have been really stressful for you, and I wanted to give you space but you're gone all the time. You're gone even when you're here."

Natasha can barely understand anything you've said after hearing you say the first part. Her breath hitches painfully in the back of her throat, and she legitimately feels appalled at herself.

She starts to say something, but you keep going.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to make this about me because if you're going through something then I want to support and be there for you. But I can't help but feel like you're grossed out by me. I mean—I feel grossed out when I look at myself. I feel like I'm taking up so much space—"

Natasha cuts you off abruptly, pulling off the blanket as she pulls at you until you're in her lap.

"Nat—"

"You're not gross and this is not about the weight you have or have not gained. You hear me?" Natasha says forcefully as she holds you close to her, hand over your thigh to keep you against her.

"God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry if I've been making you feel like you're not attractive me," Natasha's eyes well up as your tears wet her shoulder. "You're literally still the most gorgeous person I've ever met and you're always going to be that to me."

Natasha's hand at your waist dips underneath your hoodie, her fingers trailing up your back as she sighs at your warmth. "I should've told you, but the springtime is just really hard for me. It's odd because it's a time for things to come back to life but some of the worst things have happened to me during the spring and things blooming makes me think about things that aren't coming back. I think it's also just a little bit of seasonal depression too. I'm just the rare percentage that gets it in the spring."

The explanation makes your body sag with relief because while you feel so horrible that there is a reason Natasha doesn't like spring, she's not falling out of love with you.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I was hurting you," Natasha apologizes again. "I didn't mean to be so distant but I didn't want to bring your mood down as well, which is why I've been working so much to keep busy."

"It's okay," you muttered as your turn your head, forehead pressed against her neck. "I'm sorry spring is depressing for you."

Natasha merely hushes you as she kisses the side of your head.

You begin to feel awkward, thinking about how you must be heavy on her and try to move, but Natasha doesn't let you.

"Sweetheart, I don't know how to convince you that you're perfect to me," Natasha says so seriously as she forces you to look at her. "If you want to lose weight because that is what you want, then I support you. But I need you to understand that I love you no matter what. I don't care either way because you're so fucking lovely to me always. Do you understand?"

Timidly, you reply, "Okay. Thank you."

Natasha presses her lips against yours in a long kiss before she pulls back.

"Now, I'm going to ask again. Are you hungry? We can order in and watch that new show on Netflix I heard was pretty good from Wanda."

You feel lighter. You think you might still want to work out because that would make you happy, but you don't feel the rush like you did just a couple of hours ago.

"Yeah," you say shyly. "But maybe something not so heavy?"

Natasha nods as she presses another kiss into your cheek as she helps you settle onto the couch right beside her to grab her phone.

"Anything to make you bloom."

[chelleztjs18]

Lost in Assistance - Ch. 1

Elizabeth Olsen x Fem!Reader

GIF by  craftbeernerd

Summary: Y/n is a professional celebrity's personal assistant in Hollywood got hired with two years contract to be the assistant of the famous and talented Elizabeth Olsen / Lizzie by her manager. Both Y/n and Lizzie hate each other since day one, and they have mutual friend. One is as stubborn as the other, will Y/n stay when Lizzie gives attitudes and tries her best to make her quit before the contract ends?

Warning: fluff, angst, smut (in future chapters), swearing words ( +18 only)

All chapters

Today’s weather is actually your type of weather. The sun shines just enough to give a little brightness and warmth on this gloomy Sunday morning. Cold breeze blows occasionally. You can feel the warmth but mainly the cold as you walk out from the grocery store for your weekly groceries shopping that you wish you can procrastinate at least until tomorrow. All you wanted to do is just to go home and take a nice shower after an intense workout at the gym this morning but then you remember that your mom really needs some of the stuff in the list.

You put all of your groceries into your car, you hop in and get ready to leave shortly after you turned on your music playlist. Even though you are not too far away from your house, driving in L.A traffic sometimes can be unpredictable so you need your music while driving. Few minutes into the driving home and as soon as one of your favorite songs Intro - The XX starts to play, your phone rings and your best friend's name pops up on the screen. “Mitchel? Why is he calling me this early on Sunday?” you wonder in your thoughts then you answer it. 

“Hey Mitch. What’s up?” You sound short because you are focusing on driving. “Oh wow, someone woke up at the wrong side of the bed? You just woke up didn’t you? Anyway, how is my favorite bestfriend who clearly doesn’t miss me?” He replied jokingly. “Nope, First I didn’t just wake up, I already went to the gym and to the groceries store so I’m just a little tired I guess. Second, Your favorite best friend? I thought I am your one and only best friend? And last, I do miss you buddy. How are you and your lovely husband?” You chuckle a bit and are actually excited to hear from him. “Aaaww you are so sweet. That’s why you are my best friend! Also, Pierre and I are great! We miss you. Anywaaayy, the reason I'm calling you right now is because I have a job offer for you and everybody misses you back at work. I know that it has been almost a year since you worked with Carrie Fisher and it wasn’t easy for you after she passed. Since you started working for her, you two get along very well and become good friends. I’m so sorry darling. I really do but yesterday I had a meeting with a client. They are looking for a highly experienced personal assistant and I instantly thought of you because you are my best one. So can you please consider it? Pretty pleaaseee?” He asked you like a little kid begging for a dessert after didn’t finish the dinner.

“I don’t know Mitch. Yes I’m still kinda sad about Carrie. She was a very nice lady. Also you know that she wasn’t the only reason I needed to take a break from work. You remember my mom’s situation?” As you tried to explain, you arrived at home and parked your car but still sitting in the car continued in your conversation with Mitchel. “Of course I do, I’m sorry. How is she holding up? I hope she is doing alright.” You can hear from his tone that he feels bad. “She is fine now. Thank you for asking Mitch. Well, who is the client anyway?” You asked curiously. 

“It’s Elizabeth Olsen. Well, her manager who is a good friend of mine from college plus Olsen’s mom herself who requested me for the personal assistant for Elizabeth. Sooo, if I’m really your best friend, can you please consider it? Besides, I’m pretty sure you will make more money than being a translator working from home,not that I don’t like your current job but you know what I meant. Can you let me know by tonight, yeah?”

You sigh. “Alright alright, I will think about it and text you later.” “Yayyy, I knew you love me that much. Thank you! You are the best. I’ll let you go. Tell your mom I said Hi.” “Okay Mitch. Talk to you later.” You both hung up.

After the phone call, you brought all the groceries into your house. “Ma, I’m home!” You kicked the door close and walked straight to the kitchen. As you put away all the groceries, each one of them to its places that you organized perfectly, you heard your mom come into the kitchen. “Hey sweetheart, you left pretty early this morning. I made you breakfast, do you want me to heat it up for you?” Your mom has been living with you for a little while since the incident that led to a divorce from your step dad, Clint. “Thanks Ma, I will do it myself. I will eat it after I take a shower. I went to the gym then to the groceries store to get your stuff in the list.” You answered as you are cleaning a little bit, try to organize things that you noticed are a little misplaced. You like your stuff well in its place where it is supposed to be. “I noticed that you were in the car for quite a bit having a phone call, is everything okay?” She asked in a worried tone. “Oh yeah, it was Mitchel. You remember him? He called because he has a job offer for me. Back to Hollywood as a personal assistant.” “That’s awesome! You always love that job. Did you take the offer?” Her worried tone instantly shifted to an excitement for you followed by a smile crossing on her face. “ I don’t know yet. Yes I miss that job but I am more worried about you. You know that if I take the job,  I will be very busy and travel a lot. You will be by yourself. What if Clint comes back for you someday and does something even worse than what he did?” You felt something in your stomach as you started to feel anxious and your eyes got teary when you remembered the night Clint hit your mom. It was the last straw for you that you took her with you and she decided to divorce him. 

“Aaw honey, don't worry about me. I will be alright. I haven't heard from him for a while and my restraining order against him is in process and will be done soon. He won’t come around. Your career is more important. I know you want to take that job. Maybe this will be a great restart for you and it might lead you to a new path in your life. You never know until you try. I love you y/n.” She rubbed your arm then gave you a long comforting hug. Your mom always knows how to calm you down and take your worry away. She is always supportive to you. “I love you too but are you sure Ma? Promise you will let me know if you need me or if something happens when I’m away?” You asked as you are trying to get reassurance from her. “I promise. Now go take a shower then eat, Don't forget to let Mitchel know that you are taking the job.” She smiled. “Okay Ma.” You smile back as you are heading to your room.

At the end of the day, you are ready for bed, laying down in your bed then you text Mitch “Hey Mitch, I got a Yes for you.” Less than a minute later you hear a ding from your phone, it was Mitch the speedy texter replied to you. “Sweeet! Thank you! I will email you tomorrow all the infos and will set up the meeting with them. Glad to have you back Y/n. Good night.” You put down your phone and take a deep breath then slowly dozing off.

Ch. 2

[iwaisuke]

calling them nicknames... that progressively get weirder each time

ft. timeskip!bokuto koutarou, kuroo tetsurou x fem!reader

genre: fluff

masterlist

-»˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

» "hi baby!" you called out to your manchild of a boyfriend, who was running around the gym with hinata after practice. "you ready to go?"

» bokuto's turned around at the sound of your voice. "BUB! YOU'RE HERE!" Pure joy radiated through his body as he saw you. running and picking you up in the process.

» the two of you had to go grocery shopping before heading home. you were gonna make one of kou's favorite foods for dinner tonight.

» you walked around the store and picked up some veggies to put in your basket. of course, bokuto on the other hand had another mission: snacks priorities i tell you

» "pumpkin! you said you'd wait for me" you pouted. "sorry love i just saw a new snack and i just had to go look at it" bokuto's arms were full. giggling at how cute he was, bokuto dumped his raid of snacks he got into the basket and offered to carry it.

» at home, you began to cook dinner. meat in your hands, you couldnt move your hair out of your face. "meat bun!!!" you yelled. kou peeked his head into the kitchen. "baby? did you call me?" he questioned. "yeah can you tie my hair for me real quick. it's kind of in the way"

» sitting at the table eating dinner, you watched as bokuto took the first bite of the meal. eyes lighting up he groaned in delight. "so? how is it spoon?" you looked at him expectantly. "... spoon?" bokuto looked confused. "yeah! how is it?" "its... good..."

» with dinner finished and everything cleaned up, the two of you decided it was time to go to sleep. "im so tired babe" bokuto tried to glomp you who was already in bed.

» "eww you're still sweaty from practice" you laughed "go take a shower first clothes hanger" bokuto's hair now totally deflated, he sadly dragged himself to the bathroom.

» fresh out of the shower, bokuto laid next to you in bed, his back turned to you.

» "you ok?" you asked

» "i dont know. you tell me" bokuto said with some sass

» "you're sulking"

» "am not"

» yes he was

» "alright. suit yourself then. good night sock"

» immediately, bokuto turned over to you. "did i do something wrong baby? something so wrong that i was called a spoon" he looked at you with puppy eyes. "im sorry i didnt wait for you to look at snacks with earlier, and for not showering righy away-"

» you couldnt contain your laughter anymore. bokuto, genuinely confused at your actions. cupping his face with your hands, you gently placed a kiss on the spikers lips. "it was just a joke bubs. you did nothing wrong. you're my perfect boy after all"

» hearing a more normal name, a smile was brought back to his face. "you mean it baby?"

» "of course love"

» Kuroo and you usually always play pranks on each other, but today you figured you’d try to be a little more subtle with the pranks today to see how long it takes for him to pick up on it

» “Woah your bedhead is worse than mine today” kuroo chuckled as he continued to make breakfast for the two of you that morning. “Well good morning to you too egg mcmuffin” you retorted back. “Ou, new nickname i hear? I kinda like the sound of that” he joked

» Kuroo pls

» 9am hit and it was now off to work for kuroo. “Bye kitten. I’ll see you later.” kuroo kissed your forehead, nose and then your lips. “Don’t miss me too much now”

» “Wouldn't dream of it. Have a good day at work water bottle” pecking his lips one more time

» “Water bottle???” “hurry! You’re gonna be late!” shoving kuroo out the door. “Wait kitten-” “bye!!!”

» Noon hit and kuroo was on his lunch break. He’d usually call you during this time just to see how your day has been going so far. “Hey love.” “hi hole puncher”

» You were met with silence on the other side. “Hole puncher?” “please tell me you didn't just call me a hole puncher” “what? Would you rather be called a spatula instead?” you tried to hold in your laughter the best you could.

» 5pm rolled around and kuroo finally came home. “Highlighter!!! You’re finally home!!!” glomping him into a big hug, he pried you off

» “What’s wrong?” you questioned kuroo. “Oh nothing… toothpick”

» His iconic grin was displayed across his face. He caught onto your little prank you were doing today and now it was making it's full way back to you

» The two of you went through the evening calling each other random things

» “Telephone. Can you reach this for me!!!”

» “I forgot a towel, shoelace!”

» Everything was all fun and games until kuroo took it out of hand. Not that he meant to do it-

» “Go turn off the lights trash” whipping your head around, kuroo took his opportunity to egg you on for starting this whole thing. “Yeah you heard me. Go turn the lights off”

» “Well excuse you, you SNAKE.”

» Kuroo gasped. “How could you say that when you know I got beef with daishou, toilet water!”

» “Poopy head!”

» “Moldy rice!”

» Ah yes, the list went on. It came to the point where the two of you couldn’t help but laugh at the names each of you could come up with.

» Now in bed, both kuroo and you apologized to one another for everything said that day while laughing. “Sorry for calling you trash, kitten.” “it's ok baby. Sorry for calling you a snake.” you chuckled. He gave you a kiss goodnight and snuggled into your chest.

» “I love you toothpick”

» “I love you too egg mcmuffin”

-» ˚⸙͎۪۫⋆

enjoy your order! have a wonderful day~!

[harveywritings92]

BNHA vampire soulmate scenario: you see them again/ they introduce themselves.

 They find you and don't leave you alone.

--------------------------------------------------

Dabi: It had been almost a month since the 7/11 incident, Dabi kept his distance watching and protecting you from the shadows, That all change today, he was watching your house from the old abandoned grocery store-across the road from your bar (your house is on top of the bar). He noticed you haven't step outside for almost two days, Dabi frowned as he step out of his hideout and as soon as he got close enough to your home his nose scrunched up as he was hit by a fowl stench: he made a disgusted noise... it was like mix of rotten milk and cantaloupe...

You were sick! but that wouldn't explain your lack of activity...unless- Dabi felt his stomach drop into his feet he checked the gargoyle you keep by the door for your spare key, he unlocked the door and walked inside your house and found you passed out on the floor at the bottom of your stairs! he rush over crouched down to check on you... he put his hand on your neck, Fuck your skin was like a furnace. "What the fuck do I do?" he hissed picking you up of the floor and putting you on the couch in your living room.

You wheezed in protest feeling your body being lifted away from the nice cold floor, your eyes opened straining to see who had moved you? but all you could see was a black and purple blob looking down at you; before moving away from sight as your overheated mind tried to comprehend what was happening, Who was that? How did they get in... but soon you drifted back into unconsciousness, and felt something cold on the back of your head...

You woke up disoriented and very confuse you looked around and you were still in your Livingroom... with half melted bag of frozen carrots resting behind your neck and another bag of frozen corn shoved down your shirt, which bewildered you the last thing you remembered was trying to crawl upstairs and go to your room, than nothing. You heard someone clear their throat and looked next to you to find a man who looked like a ragdoll was sitting in your recliner watching you...

"Who the fuc-" you croaked only for the guy to thrust a yellow pill and a glass of water towards you. "Take this first.." he muttered as you eyed the pill suspiciously "patchy" rolled his eyes at your wariness. "It's just Tylenol." he put the glass on the coffee table and showed you the box, "If I wanted to hurt you, wouldn't I have done it already?" he stated as you hesitantly took the pill and the water from him and swallowed it trying not to gag as it went down your throat. "Who are you?" you hissed voice still hoarse trying not to show fear, which was in vain as Patchy's cerulean eyes lit up in amusement seeing through your bluff. "I have several names, but these days I go by Dabi." he said waiting for your reaction but, to his utter astonishment you clearly had no idea who he was... "ok..."Dabi" How did you get into my house?" you huffed as Dabi gave you this unimpressed look. 

"Y'know the whole reason for hiding a key, is to not make it obvious."

"What are you talking about? What key?"

"Yeah, good one...the key under the gargoyle."

"...I don't keep a key under my gargoyle."

You say watching Dabi's expression shift to confusion as the scarred man pulled the the duplicate key from his pocket, he showed it to you and your stomach felt like it was full of rocks... that was definitely your house key!... But, it looked newer, shinier then the one in your purse. "You don't recognize this?" Dabi asked feeling your fear which caused his instincts go haywire wanting to remove whatever caused the distress, as you shook your head insisting you've never owned a spare key!

Dabi took a sharp breath through his nose, taking it in all the scents around the house before picking up faint traces of a another male... Dabi let out a low inhuman growl as he relaxed against into the recliner. "Good news doll, you gotta a new roommate." Your mouth opened to protest, but something in the deep crevices of your soul was telling you to trust the scarred man as he played around with the duplicate key. with a feral glint in his eye. "Bad news is... It's gonna suck for whoever the hell pissed me off." his purred flashing his fangs at you.  

---------------------------------

Hawks: You were at work it had been to weeks since Hawks showed up on your doorstep, let's just it didn't go so well... It was like in the movies you opened the door saw the blond vampire standing there, you gasped, screamed and fainted scaring the crap out of the poor guy! At the moment he was currently loitering outside the gym you were teaching at, he could hear some of your students parents talking about you.

"It's waste I tell you, someone with her Quirk should've gone pro!" A woman said in a snarky tone the man next to her nodded. " I agree. if I had a Quirk like L/n-san I would be saving lives and kicking ass, instead of teaching kids how to dog paddle!" Keigo growled looking up from his phone and spoke up. 

"Yeah...She could've gone pro, but instead she's here teaching your kids not to drown..." 

Both adults froze and saw the number 2 hero glowering at them his wings slightly puffed and raised making him look bigger, They sheepishly apologized and scurried off, Just as you walked out, with an unreadable expression it was obvious you had heard everything just now, but were relucted to say anything as the two of you started the routine of walking home together, you were still on the ropes about Hawks. 

When he first showed up (after you woke up) you freaked out thinking he was there to to silence you and keep his secret, however after calming you down, he started going on about soulmates, blood-bonds and you being his other half, you were very reluctant to believe him after all... the first time you saw him, he was covered in blood feeding off a woman who looked half dead! Hawks seemed genuinely remorseful about you seeing that, it wasn't his intention to scare you, he explained how the woman was fine. 

She wasn't dead like Y/n had thought! he just used his venom to put her into a state of ecstasy... she likely has no idea the winged blond had been drinking her blood, She was at home most likely believing she had a wild night with the number 2 hero. He even showed you the girl's social media account to prove it; There she was doing a bathroom selfie bragging about the wicked "hickey" Hawks had given her...

Now here you are a month later and the vampire hasn't left your side since! Well... Except for when he has to go on patrol, then he has one of his feathers following you, and you have this sinking suspicion that Hawks has been sleeping on your roof at night...though you're never sure, you could hear something rolling around up there but whatever it is, is usually gone by the time you go check it out, later that night Hawks texted you inviting you to dinner, you read the restaurant's name... Dang that's pretty swanky place, you didn't even know if you had a dress or whatever to wear! luckily in the far reaches of your closet you found an old black dress that seemed suitable enough for the job... and sighed. " I only wore this once, to a funeral..." you muttered before getting ready.

You wished you had taken a shot of whiskey before you left the house, you were a ball of shaking anxiety as you entered the restaurant, the hostess eyed you with a unpleasant sneer. "Can I help you?" she said in fake sweet tone. "Y-Y/n L/n, I-I'm here to meet a Mr. T.K.?" you stammered the hostess scrunched her nose as she gave you a once over snorted. 

"I don't know how you found out about his reservation... but I can assure you the number 2 hero doesn't associate with your type." she with sneer your face would would've been flushed with anger if you weren't holding back every fiber in your body to slap that smug smile off that bitch's face. "Well can you go check?" you snapped standing up to your full height which threw the hostess off, she curt nod and walked off into the back...

(Hawks knew you were here he could smell you the second you walked in, his eyes briefly skimmed over the menu as he herd hostess approach, without you... "Sorry about that Hawks." the redhead cooed as the blonde looked at her bemused she snorted. "Some fake (h/c) slut tried to say you were waiting on her-" she continued talking as Keigo talked over her. " I am waiting for Y/n." he stated firmly as the hostess finished what she was saying. "Just let me ask my boss to let me off and we ca..." she trailed off and blinked not believing what she just heard.

"w-What?" she chortled thinking this was a joke as Hawks deadpanned repeating what he said. "I am waiting for Y/n, go get her." it wasn't request the hostess looked like a fish as she stared at the No. 2 slack-jawed. "Bu...You.. I- what about me?!" she sputtered lip quivering like a child who'd been denied candy, the winged man just eyed her incredulously making it clear he doesn't know her. "What are you talking about?" Hostess didn't answer she just stomped away to go get you.)    

A few minutes later she came back all red in the face. "Please follow me ma'am." she huffed now it was your turn to be smug. "Oh?... But I thought the No. 2 hero didn’t associate with my type?" you hissed as she snapped her head up to look at you eyes her brown eyes filled with jealous rage and you realized....It was her. The girl from the park. "My apologies ma'am." she said with a forced cheery tone as she led you to a private booth where Hawks was waiting his wings stood up at full attention as you sat down.

"Hey did you have any trouble?" he asked nodded towards the front desk where the hostess was giving both of of you the stink-eye. "You don't recognize her?" you whispered as Keigo's brow furrowed as he tried to piece it together.... had.. they slept together?...Hmm no, signed her tits? that was a possibility, He hummed scratching his beard You could tell he was drawing blanks. "She's the woman from the night...when we met?" His gold eyes widened.

 "Oh... the blood that tasted like charcoal and moldy bread." he grimaced in disgusted as he finally pieced it together you tilted your head as him bemused. "That’s what smoker's blood taste like...to me anyways, other Vamps have told me it varies." he stated you hummed nodding your head both intrigue and worried that you were getting use to this odd situation.

While you two were going over the menu, Keigo couldn't help but notice how off you were acting, you were fidgeting and looking around almost like you were...scared. why would you scared? all the other girls he'd brough.... Then it hit Keigo like ton of bricks. 

He was treating you like one of his fans! and not his...hopefully soon to be lover, Dammit! He didn't even think about your comfort zones or asked if you wanted to go out and where did you want to go, he just assumed you would jump at the chance, because what girl doesn't want to go on a date with the number two hero?

After a few moments Keigo put the menu down. "Hey...wanna get out of here?" You were about to protest but the blond put his hand up. "Let me rephrase that; Do you want go somewhere else?" you shyly nodded Keigo called the waiter paid for the drink he had earlier and the two of you went on a very simple and impromptu park date involving pizza and an outdoor movie theater that Keigo had no idea existed; all in all he actually had fun! 

And so did you given the joy and admiration he was sensing coming off you in waves. as opposed the fear and defensiveness you usually gave off around him, which made Hawks hopeful for the future... but for now he'll just settle on being friends, He smiled staring at the spare key you gave him, the blond let out a tiny churr feeling giddy as he fell asleep on your couch, as you caught him outside earlier.  

…..Yes, he was totally sleeping on your roof.

[officialaemondtargaryen]

Five Kisses pt. 1

Summary: Your relationship with Bucky is defined by five different kisses. 

Characters: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2,895

Author’s Note: Coming out of retirement! I hope that you all enjoy. I didn’t want to split this up into three parts, but it would have been a really long one-shot if I had. Le me know what you think! I haven’t written anything in like four years, so I’m not even sure if people still read fics. So toss a reblog to your fic writer, o’ readers a plenty! 

You can read part two here!

You weren’t sure what to call Bucky Barnes. He wasn’t really someone you’d call a friend, but he was a little more than just an acquaintance. In fact, he was more of a pain in your ass than anything. Natasha introduced you to him, half in hope that the two of you would hit it off. Only, after an hour of knowing him, the only thing you wanted to hit was his head off of his shoulders.

Avoiding him after that first encounter was hard, seeing as he was always around with that stupid, shit-eating-grin plastered to his face. You could tell that he knew just how much his mere presence annoyed you; he enjoyed watching your jaw clench, teeth-grinding at the sound of his voice whenever he said something incredibly stupid- which was every time he opened his mouth.

You tolerated him, but only because you had to; for Steve and Nat’s sake. No one said you had to like him. You didn’t want to like him.

That was until he wound up in your dreams.

You might have been in an elevator or a doctor’s office, you couldn’t really remember. The details of the dream were fading fast, and the only thing that continued to stick out was Bucky. And your hands grasping at the lapels of his suit jacket, pulling him down to you. And the way your noses bumped together. And the sound of a desperate moan escaping the depths of his throat. 

And how ridiculously soft his lips were.

A blush crept across your cheeks as you sat in your bed, embarrassed; hands holding your head as you wondered how your subconscious had let this happen. The thought of kissing Bucky Barnes had not once crossed your mind before, and now the thought of kissing Bucky Barnes had your mind racing. It was just a kiss and then you woke up. But as you sat atop tangled sheets, you thought of what might have happened if you had stayed asleep; your heartbeat kicking as you imagined him kissing you in other places.

You sighed; eyes clamped tight as you shook your head, trying to snap yourself out of it and push any thought of the man out of your mind. Natasha tried to make small talk with you in the kitchen when you went to make a cup of coffee, but at the first mention of Bucky you made up some excuse to get the hell out of Dodge. 

Over the next few weeks, you were avoiding him more than usual. You turned down invitations to go out with the group-, knowing that he would be there. And when he and Steve came over to your apartment, you’d find some reason to leave; work, needing something from the grocery store, going to the gym or going to hang out with one of your other friends. Sure, it was just a dream, but you couldn’t deny that you had begun to think of Bucky in a different way since then. And you were sure your feelings would disappear if you stayed away from him for long enough.

You were coming home one night after work, completely exhausted and drained, and before you even opened the door to your apartment, you could hear the faint sound of laughter on the other side. You sighed as you slid the key into the lock, completely forgetting that it was Thursday night, or as Nat liked to call it, ‘Family Night’. 

Natasha heard the door shut behind you and called for you to join them. Not feeling like fighting this one, you made your way to the kitchen. Nat stood at the stove, a steaming pot of noodles in front of her while Steve was leaning against the counter, in the middle of telling some story about when he and Bucky were in Italy. And Bucky was at the table, beer in hand, smiling as he tried to dispute Steve on a few of the details in the story.

“Hey guys,” you mumbled as you walked into the kitchen towards the refrigerator to grab a beer. “That smells great, Nat.”

“Thanks,” she beamed, obviously proud of herself. Your roommate rarely did any cooking, and most of the time the two of you were ordering take-out or going to the nearest ‘pizza-by-the-slice’ joint. You knew this newfound love for cooking- she had even bought herself an apron- was to impress Steve. And it was cute, you couldn’t deny. “How was work?”

You nearly collapsed in the chair across from Bucky and kicked off your heels. His eyes were burning a hole into you, but you kept your gaze fixed in the direction of Natasha and Steve; not wanting to look at him, afraid of what would happen if you did.

“Today was rough since we have that audit coming up.” You replied before taking a swig of your beer. “It’s nice to be home.”

“Amen to that,” Steve declared as he held his bottle up in the air. 

You copied his movements and sat back in your chair with a sigh. The kitchen was filled with a comfortable silence, save for the sound of the water boiling in Nat’s pot. You ran a hand through your hair and finally looked up at Bucky who was glancing down at his phone. Your eyes skimmed over his features and you wondered how you had never noticed his freckles or the way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he smiled at something. 

How could you have never noticed that Bucky Barnes was beautiful?

“Buck, did you find something for this weekend?” Natasha asked, breaking the silence and your stare. 

“This weekend?” You questioned.

“Yeah, I thought it would be nice if we all went out and did something fun,” she replied. “You’ve been so busy lately, Y/N, and you told me that you didn’t have any plans this weekend, so I figured we’d go somewhere and let loose.” 

“Oh,” you said quietly.

“They’ve got a band playing at Josie’s on Saturday night,” Bucky informed, as he looked up from his phone and met your eyes for only a moment before you averted your gaze to look at Nat.

“I’m always down for Josie’s,” Steve stated.

“Yeah, Josie’s sounds good,” Natasha added. “Y/N, what do you think?”

“Sure, Josie’s it is!” You replied with a nervous grin.

Saturday night came way, too soon. Natasha had texted you that she and Steve were going to be running a little late coming from dinner and that they’d just meet you and Bucky at Josie’s soon. Your stomach churned at the thought of spending any time alone with him, but it quickly turned to butterflies as you opened the door and saw him sitting at the corner of the bar.

He looked good. The sleeves of his dark sweater pushed up his arms as he brought the beer bottle up to his lips and took a drink. He noticed you and waved as if you hadn’t immediately spotted him the moment you walked in. He was hard to miss, after all. 

“Hey,” he said as you reached the barstool next to him. “You want a beer?” You nodded and he motioned for the bartender to grab you a bottle. “Steve and Nat are going to be late.”

“Yeah, she texted me.” You told him. He nodded his head in reply and thanked the bartender when he placed the bottle of beer in front of you. “Thanks,” you told Bucky with a soft smile before pressing the bottle to your lips.

“You look nice tonight,” he mentioned and your cheeks began to blush.

“Thank you,” you replied. “So do you.”

“What?” Bucky’s face was shocked. “No smart ass remark?”

You rolled your eyes. “Don’t start.”

The silence that fell over the two of you wasn’t awkward, but it wasn’t comfortable either. It was unlike Bucky to compliment you, and you figured he was just doing it to be civil, but that didn’t stop your cheeks from forming a light blush. You kept your gaze downcast, checking your phone every few seconds out of boredom. Bucky absentmindedly drummed his fingers on the marble countertop to the beat of the song and you noticed just how nice his hands were. 

You talked about work, mostly. He asked about the audit, which you were surprised he remembered, and he boasted about his own work. The band started playing not long after that. They were good; a classic rock cover band that only played the hits. And for what seemed like the first time, you were actually enjoying spending time with Bucky Barnes. He had even asked if you wanted to move to the dance floor, and you did; dancing to song after song, drink after drink, you couldn’t remember the last time you had this much fun.

“Hey!” He called over the music. Bucky held up his phone to you, showing a text message thread from Steve, but at that point your vision was pretty blurry. “They aren’t coming.”

“Who needs them?” You replied with a smile. “You want another round?” 

“I got it,” he replied and turned to head back to the bar.

You placed a hand on his chest to stop him, “I got this one.”

Bucky smiled at you when you came back with two more shots of tequila. “Cheers to pleasant surprises,” he said as he held his shot glass up to yours.

“Pleasant surprises indeed,” you replied before you downed your shot.

You both laughed at each other’s faces after you downed the sour liquid and sat your empty glasses on a table nearby. The band finished their last song and announced that they were going to slow things down a bit. You could feel the alcohol swimming in your veins as couples gathered on the dance floor to dance to some, old slow song. 

Bucky held out his hand and you took it, not thinking twice about it. He pulled you in close to him, and you rested your head on his chest; eyes closing at the light scent of his cologne. You were thankful that Steve and Natasha didn’t show up; you weren’t sure how you and Bucky would have acted towards each other if they had. You could hear him humming along to the music and a smile made its way to your lips as you also began to sing along. 

Before you knew it, the whole dance floor was loudly- and drunkenly- belting out the lyrics during the song’s chorus. As the song began to fade, people began to move off of the dance floor while the band announced they were going to take a break. However, you and Bucky were still holding each other closely as the bar began to play their own music in the interim. You looked up at him from your place on his shoulder and he glanced downwards and smiled. 

“You want to get out of here?” He asked. His hands release their grip on your waste and you groaned inwardly. “I know a really awesome food truck that is stays open late, and cheese fries sound really good right about now.”

“I am not going to argue with that.” You said and reluctantly took a step back from him, knowing that it would be a good idea to eat something to hopefully save yourself the hangover that you knew you would have in the morning. 

Once you had both settled the tab, you stepped out of the bar and into the cool air of the city. The wind kicked up, causing your hair to fly around your face as you looked out at the glistening lights of New York City in the distance. You could see Bucky looking at you out of the corner of your eye, he smiled when you turned to him. 

It was quiet, save for the sounds of the streets, as you began walking along the sidewalk- side by side. Your arms brushed against the other every few seconds, and you began to relish in the warmth, even if it was only for a fleeting moment before he took another step. He broke the silence first, making a joke about Steve and Nat not showing up and you laughed. You were surprised by how easy it was to talk to him; opening up more and more, little by little. But then his fingers brushed against yours and you thought he was going to hold your hand. Suddenly, your story about falling out of the tree in Mrs. Johnson’s yard trying to rescue her cat was cut short, as your heart and stomach fluttered at the feeling. You glanced downwards wondering if he noticed your face blushing red, and bit the inside of your cheek as you tried to pull yourself together.  

“So did you rescue the cat, or not?” Bucky asked, stopping on the street corner. You stopped too and looked up at him. His lips were pulled into a ridiculously attractive grin, and it was hard not to form a smile of your own.

“Of course, I rescued the cat.” You said with pride, rolling your eyes at him. “Wait a second,” you looked around at your surroundings as you realized that you had no idea where you were. And Bucky’s food truck was no where in sight. “Where are we?” 

Bucky also looked around and chuckled. “Well, I thought the food truck was in this direction a few blocks down from the bar, but I am a little drunk and I may have been wrong.” 

You sighed jokingly and pulled out your phone, “I’ll call us a ride.” 

It didn’t take long for a cab to show up and the two of you slid into the backseat. You gave the driver the directions to your apartment and he pulled off, allowing a noticeable silence to take over. You looked over at Bucky who was glancing out the window, and when he turned his head in your direction, you quickly looked away, chewing on your lip. You kept your hands in your lap, mindlessly plucking at the hem of your blouse before sneaking another glance over at Bucky. His beautiful blue eyes were fixed on you, and you gave him a small smile. 

There was so much tension in the air, it was hard to breathe. You silently thanked God as the cab driver pulled up on the curb outside of your apartment so that you could open the door and get some fresh air. There was something about the way that he looked at you that was unlike anything you had every experienced before. You knew, just from that one look, that he felt the same- and you weren’t sure how to feel about that. 

“Thank you,” Bucky told the driver and passed him a tip. “Have a good night.” As the driver took off, Bucky turned to you. 

“Well this is me,” you told him with a smile. “I’d ask you if you wanted to come up, but who knows what Steve and Natasha are doing up there since they blew us off.” 

“Right,” Bucky laughed as he rocked back and forth on his heels. 

“I had a really nice time, though.” You told him, not wanting to discourage him. “Who knew you were such good company?” 

“There’s that smart ass remark I’ve been waiting for all night,” he laughed. 

“Don’t tell Steve and Nat, but I’m kind of glad that they didn’t show up.”

“Oh yeah?” He asked, taking a tiny step towards you. “Why’s that?” 

You also took a tiny step towards him and the gap between the two of you was closing inch by inch. “Because,” you managed to say whilst swallowing a lump in your throat. “I don’t think we would have had nearly as much fun as we did.”

“I’m glad you had a good time,” he said in what was barely a whisper as took the last step to close the space between you.

“Are you going to kiss me?” You asked.

“Do you want me to?” He replied, you could feel his breath. 

You nodded and Bucky closed what little gap there was left between your lips. The kiss was soft and warm, and everything that you expected- but better. You could still taste the tequila and lime on his tongue as you explored each other’s mouths, and you gripped on to his sweater, pulling him as close as you possibly could. It felt like a long time coming, like you had always wanted each other, but weren’t able to admit it to yourselves. It was as if a weight was lifted off your chest. 

And, quite literally, it was your dreams coming true. 

You pulled back and caught your breath, smiling like a fool. “I, uh- Before I end up saying something really stupid and ruining the moment, I’m going to go.” Bucky smiled and shook his head. “But, just know I had a really great time tonight. So thank you for that.” You said as you backed away, almost running into the door as you turned around. 

“I’ll see you later?” He asked as you pulled the door open and stepped inside.

“In your dreams, Barnes!” You replied, turning back around only to stick your tongue out at him and then disappear up the staircase. 

[now-we-say-c0ral]

April 24, 2023

Slept last night at around 11pm after me and Eddie took a shower. We sometimes have pillow talks before we sleep and he told me the sweetest things. He told me how lucky he was to have me. I asked him why and he told me that because I loved him so much. I told him it's either that or nothing. He gave me a kiss afterwards and told me how much he loved me. It was a moment that will forever stay with me, I think. He never initiates these kind of conversation but last night he did. I love this guy so much.

Woke up initially at 5.15am because Ed set his alarm at this time. He prepared for work and gave me a kiss before he left. I slept until 10am. It's so good to have a good night's rest for 2 consecutive days. Lost in today's Wordle. Took a shower and fixed the bed and left to go to Earls Court to buy myself some Safeguard White because my pimples are afraid of that shit. Ate at Leon's near the station and I can't say that I love their rice box menu. Went to Tindahang Pinoy Oriental store and bought the soap and some Cheez Whiz which I think Eddie might like and I bought some Kutchinta. I'm so happy that I got to eat some kutchinta today. Instant mood lift! Arrived at Kingston and dropped off some Kutchinta for my baby girls at work then went to the shops to buy some food containers and did some grocery shopping for my lunch tomorrow. Called mommy and Aira on the way to the shops and took a selfie with mommy because the light was on point. I miss mommy so much. I wish I could just go home and hug her. Arrived at the gym and did back, chest, abs, and a bit of cardio on the threadmill. It was raining when I tried to get home so I took the bus home.

Got home and started cooking chicken afritada, rice, and boiled some eggs for breakfast. Ate the protein pudding and made some protein shake which will serve as my dinner. Did my laundry and cleaned my room. Took a shower and now I'm playing Mobile Legends and Pokemon Unite.

Had a 2 hour phone call with Danica. She’s sharing her frustrations about life lately. I’m glad that the exchange of energies between us both, though dragging and somewhat the same every conversation, we get to lift each other up with whatever that we may be experiencing.

Gave Eddie a call and watched Demon Slayer. The episode was so good! I plan to rewatch it tomorrow night.

[struggling-to-be-healthy]

May 4, 2022

Today has been a little rough. I had a break down in the grocery store after spending $30 on food I needed. Billy had to buy it of course which resulted in him not being able to get a hair cut he really, really needs. He also can't afford new jeans for work. He has one pair. It's all my fault and I just feel so helpless. I've applied to so many places. I hate doing this to him.

I had to really force myself to go to the gym. I didn't want to go. Billy was off today so that made it even harder. But thanks to some encouragement from @vinyl-vermin I made it! She's the best. 30 minutes on the treadmill and then shoulders/arms. Of course I'm glad I went, but it was rough.

I made dinner tonight. Usually I cook on Thursdays but Billy and I won't be here tomorrow evening so I made it tonight. It's slow cooker chicken pesto pasta with some broccoli and sourdough bread with butter and everything bagel seasoning. I've made it before. It's pretty good. 13 points, though. Better than some of the things I've been making.

[atc74]

Eye of the Beholder

Warnings: Poor body image (?), slight angst, a little envy, a lot of fluff, and implied sexy times

Summary: Jensen is feeling less confident in himself lately and you think you know why. He has always been there for you, now you just need to show your husband he has no reason to be. 

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Word Count: 1470

Written for: @breakthezone​ first quarter challenge, which was to choose one of two prompts. Mine is bolded below. 

Beta’d by: @amanda-teaches​, cause she is the best

A/N: So you know the pictures, the spread, the article in THAT magazine, featuring that beautiful soul, and that would cause any man to think less of himself, but I thought, what would go through Jensen’s head and how would I help him through it. 

Like Jensen’s Warmth? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker!

The cold snowy mountains were a stark contrast to the warm flatland of their home state, but Y/N was loving the quietness and solace of the northeast. Y/N pulled into the snow-covered driveway and started unloading the groceries. She planned accordingly and for weeks at a time; they didn’t have many delivery options out there. 

“Honey, I’m home! What do you say you come help me carry in and put away all this food and I make you a nice, juicy porterhouse for dinner?” Y/N called from the kitchen as she dropped the load on the counter. “Honey? Jay?” The house was mostly silent but then she heard it. The distinct smack of fists and feet hitting the heavy bag Jensen installed in the home gym. She sighed knowing this was the third day in a row Jensen had spent hours in the gym, working out until he was ready to drop. 

Y/N brought in the rest of the bags, stored the food, and changed her clothes. If she was going to join him in the gym, at least she could participate. It wasn’t like it was a hardship watching her husband in only a pair of shorts, his freckled skin dripping with sweat. 

She brought fresh water with her, setting it on the weight bench. He was breathing heavy, sweating, and red-faced. Jensen was not out of shape by any means, but he somehow had gotten it in his head that he needed to get into better shape. Maybe it was the pressure of becoming Soldier Boy, maybe it was that he was approaching his “mid-forties”, it could have been a few things, but Y/N thought she knew exactly what had prompted this new obsession. “Hey, honey.”

“Hey, babe,” he rasped, his breaths heavy with exertion, his hair soaking. “Just a few more minutes.” He landed another two punch kick combo. 

“Jay, you have got to take a break. You can’t keep going like this, hours a day, day after day,” Y/N pleaded with him. “This is enough for today.” 

“Yeah, okay. Maybe you’re right.” He stopped, hugging the bag tightly, holding on as he tried to catch his breath. 

“Go shower, I’ll get dinner started, okay?” Y/N smiled, kissing him softly. 

“You got it. I’m pretty sure I reek anyway.” 

Leafy greens and brightly colored vegetables covered the kitchen island as Y/N chopped and sliced away. The cuts of meat were sitting out to warm up before grilling, and a nice bottle of a full-bodied red was breathing on the table. Jensen emerged from the hallway leading from their bedroom about thirty minutes later, looking a little worse for the wear. He pressed a sweet kiss to her cheek, swiping a handful of peppers, too. 

“I saw that mister,” she smiled, leaning into his touch. “But I’m gonna let it slide just ‘cause you smell nice.” 

“Better than before?” 

“Oh, way better,” she laughed, turning and wrapping her arms around his neck. “Want to tell me what’s going on in that pretty head of yours?” 

“Nothing, babe. Just trying to stay in shape. I gotta get in that custom suit in a couple of weeks, and I ain’t getting any younger.” Jensen looked down, running a hand over his face, scratching at his beard. 

“That’s all, huh?”

“Yeah, just running isn’t gonna cut anymore. I have to keep up.” 

“Keep up with…?”

Jensen pretended he didn’t hear Y/N as he started helping with the salad. If he ignored the question, maybe she would let it go. It seemed to be working, for now, so he went with it, and continued to help her with dinner. 

“Jay, these look perfect!” Y/N gushed as she cut into the steak. She placed the bite in her mouth, the flavor exploding, and she moaned around it. “Oh my god, it's practically melting in my mouth!” 

“You made it easy with a superb cut of meat, babe,” Jensen shrugged, digging into his salad and grilled vegetables. 

All through dinner, Y/N noticed how he barely touched his meat or wine, but took extra helpings of the healthy stuff. She decided she would let it go, wanting to enjoy their meal, but soon enough, the dishes were cleared and leftovers stored. 

“Jay?” Y/N asked, rinsing the plate in her hand before handing it to her husband. “Can I ask you something?”

“Babe, you can ask me anything, you know that.” 

“And promise me you won’t get mad?” 

“I won’t get mad, but now I am a little suspicious,” Jensen raised one eyebrow, looking over at his wife. 

“Does your new workout regimen have anything to do with Jared’s spread in Men’s Health?” 

“No.” Jensen protested immediately. 

“Jay…” 

“Maybe,” he sighed, throwing the towel on the counter, then he turned, leaning against it. “Am I...soft?”

“Soft? I think you are the kindest, most generous, loving man I’ve ever known,” Y/N replied honestly. “I am lucky I found you and even luckier that you love me.” 

“Well, thank you for that, babe, but I was asking about my physical appearance,” Jensen hung his head, his voice getting quieter as he talked. “Do I have a ‘dad bod’?” 

“Jensen Ross Ackles, you listen to me right now. You have never looked better and you are in the best shape of your life. You just completed a 15 year run on the most successful sci-fi television show in history, you are stepping into an iconic role that you were hand-picked for, and if a ‘dad bod’ looks like this, then yes!” Y/N gestured to her husband while rambling on trying to make her point. “No, you know what? Come here, come sit down with me. Bring the wine.” 

Y/N sat down with her laptop, intent on showing her husband the proof he needed to believe her and believe in himself. Jensen sat down next to her, handing her a fresh glass, as she pulled up photo after photo on the screen. 

“Do you see what I see?”

“No, I see a skinny kid from Texas with no hair on his chest and barely-there abs,” he scoffed. 

“Okay, you still don’t have chest hair, but what else do you see?” She prompted him again. 

“A pudgy mid-section and that was before I turned 40!” 

“Do you want to know what I see?” 

“You’re biased.” 

“You’re damn right I am, but I do know that your fans, the Dean-girls, well, they’re not wrong. Did you know that according to several fan sites, you and Dean have way more fans than Jared and Sam? And are you telling me that millions of people are wrong?”

“Millions?” he asked skeptically. 

“Okay, well, maybe not millions, but a lot! But I see a man that is in better shape than he was twenty years ago. I see a skinny kid from Texas too. But I also see a man who now is in the best shape of his life and way sexier than that skinny kid.. What is it that you’re always telling me when I complain about my baby muffin top or my thunder thighs?”

“That bodies come in all shapes and sizes, and beauty isn’t defined by your body shape; it’s defined by your soul and you are the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on.” 

“Okay, and I usually argue with you when you do, but that doesn’t mean you’re wrong. We are our own worst critics, you know that. But I see a healthy body and strong arms. Arms that hold me better than any others on the planet. Arms that hold our children and comfort them when they are hurt. I see a sexy mind and a stunning soul, one that was made for me.” 

“Okay, I think that is enough wine for you,” Jensen reached for the glass, but you moved it out of his reach. 

"Have I entered an alternate universe or did you really just crack a smile for me?"

“Fine, it could have been a smile.” 

“Oh yeah?” 

“Yeah, my exceptionally sexy wife made a pretty good point.” 

“Oh? Tell me more.”

“Well, she may also be the smartest person I know. She always knows just what to say when my dumbass is being, well a dumbass.” 

“Yeah, I am pretty damn smart. Because you know what else I did? I made arrangements for your visiting parents to keep the children overnight so they can swim until they pass out.”

“Wow, that is pretty smart. You know, I’ve been working out and I bet I could carry you all the way upstairs without breaking a sweat.”

“Oh, you’re on Ackles, but you are wrong about one thing.”

“What’s that?” 

“We will definitely be working up a sweat!”

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