#but today was my dad's birthday so i got distracted a bit

[icantbotherwithusernames]

You know I just realize that Evil/Henchmanic Ford au is kind of similar to Chaotic neutral Mabel. So how do you think Chaotic neutral Mabel would react to Evil/Henchmaniac Ford?

Also another question, how would Chaotic neutral Mabel would react to Cannon Mabel?

Anyway I hope you have a nice day

in regards to the second question: here's an event that very much could've happened considering the timeline difference between the canon and my au:

in terms of the first question, it depends on what type of henchmaniac Ford au we're going for. for the sake of the ask, i'll choose the type where 30 y.o. Ford learned Bill's plans and decided to join him (in whichever way)

[luveline]

i just saw someone on tiktok say “behind every girl that always wants to be around their partner is a little who’s dad didn’t choose her.” with aaron pls :(( and reader reveals her daddy issues? xxx

—hotch comforts you when you worry you depend on him for the wrong reasons. fem, 2k

You were aware of the irony. Girl who hates her father latches onto the first older man to give her any positive attention: the framing isn’t complimentary to either of you, and it’s not true, really. You love Aaron because he’s kind, and he’s handsome, and because he loves you first. You won’t pretend he’s perfect even if he might say that about you. He doesn’t have to be. 

Aaron is kind where all the other men in your life have been cruel. He is the person you go to when things go wrong, even if you don’t expect him to fix things for you. You know you have ‘daddy issues’, and you don’t want them to affect how you and Aaron are when you’re together, but it’s obvious to the both of you that you crave being looked after. The way Aaron takes care of you absolutely factors into why you love him. 

He wraps the tail end of your scarf into your coat and flattens the lump of it until it’s under your chin. “Alright?” he asks, not expecting an answer as he turns away to grab his own scarf. “Will that coat be warm enough? It might be a few hours.” 

“Fine. We’ll be inside most of the time.” 

“Mm,” he hums, reaching back to pinch your side. You laugh and he smiles but doesn’t say anything further, pulling open the front door, and holding it for you until you’re on the porch. 

“You know you don’t have to… spoil him, so much,” you say lightly. 

“It’s not spoiling, he only wants a few things.” 

You’d personally felt that Jack’s birthday wish list was a bit long, but you don’t care. You don’t have a vendetta against Jack's happiness. If Aaron wants to spend half a paycheck (alright, a quarter, if that) on some toys, he should do it. But he probably knows already that Jack won’t care if he doesn’t get all of that stuff. “I didn’t get half as much for my birthdays,” you say. 

“Believe me, honey, neither did I.” 

“One year someone’s mom got me a full box set of movies though. That was a good one.” 

“One year, I got two different pagers.” He snorts. “And now they’re useless.” 

“I never used a pager.” 

Aaron goes a bit red, self-shame or something silly like that. “Don’t tell me that.” 

“Cradle snatcher.” 

“Stop, that’s not funny.” 

It’s funny. You aren’t shockingly younger than Aaron but it’s definitely enough time to see the difference (not that you care, you quite like him with his permanent wrinkle between his brows and his big, big hands). “I really haven’t. I know what they are, of course, but I went straight to a cell phone.” 

He grumbles something unheard. Together, you get into his car and drive to the shopping centre nearest the house, a maze of storefronts with outdoor entrances, like a mall that’s been shaken and thrown out over two streets. It’s not entertaining but in a way, it’s good. Aaron holds your hand and you can walk around with your head held high, proud to be a well-dressed, in love-looking partnership. See, your face says to anyone who’ll look, I’m well-loved. 

After an hour or two he kisses your cheek and decides aloud that you need dinner. He doesn’t ask if you’re hungry, he just chooses, and you love it. 

“Thank you for letting me come today,” you say, sitting across from him behind a dinner plate and a towering glass of lemon water. 

“Did I let you?” he asks, distracted by his steak and fries, though he sounds as loving as usual. 

“You could’ve said no.” 

“I have no reason to. I like when you’re with me. Thank you for letting me bring you, then, and boring you half to death.” 

“Freezing me the other half.” 

“Ah, so smart, so clever,” he murmurs. 

“Witty.” 

“Always, aren’t you?” 

You wonder about the dessert menu, find your mouth working of its own accord. “It doesn’t feel believable, sometimes. That you want me around so much.” 

He pauses, resting his knife across his fork. With a free hand, he gestures to your hand. “Would you like more proof?” 

You aren’t sure what he means, the tennis bracelet he got you for your first anniversary, or the engagement ring that sits heavily on your marriage finger waiting to be traded for a golden band. Maybe he means the teeny silver bracelet that falls down your arm whenever you move, that one just for fun. 

“Not,” he says slowly, his eyes squinted to tell you that you’re caught, “that jewellery should be your sole proof.” 

“Would you like to prove it to me now?” 

He reaches over to squeeze your hand. “I want you around all of the time. If I could I’d have us sewn together at the hip.” He’s grinning, thumbing against your knuckles. “It might not be comfortable at night when you’re trying to climb all over me.” 

“You climb all over me, Hotchner, don’t lie.” 

Aaron nods appreciatively. “That’s right. You’re the second most important thing in my life, and that’s not your fault, only Jack is so endearing.” 

“He’s a lucky kid.” 

“No, he’s not,” Aaron says gently, “but I really do love him.” 

“Of course he’s lucky. He has a dad who loves him to pieces, his Aunt Jess is like, superwoman, and– you know, I know I’m not the same as that, but I love him.”

“You look after him,” Aaron says. 

“It’s honestly just nice that you seem to like him. You don’t act like he’s an annoyance for you, you aren’t angry to have to come out today to get him his presents.” 

“Well, no. It’s not something to be angry about. When you have kids, you’re signing up for every part of having them.” 

“I know.” 

He takes a sip of his drink and puts it down beside your own in what you know to be him buying a little time. “Honey, is there something… I don’t know, something you want to talk about? Is it Jack's birthday…?”

You feel your heart fall into your mouth, as though it began life somewhere else, heartbeat mortified on your tongue. He sees you fluster and immediately softens, turning your hand in his to stroke along the inside of your wrist. 

“Nevermind,” he says. 

“No.” You clear your throat. “It’s not about Jack’s birthday. It’s just… you know you weren’t always the best father you could’ve been.” 

He nods. “I do.” 

“But you are now. You’ve made sacrifices, you– you chose Jack.” 

“I couldn’t not.” You’re quiet. He understands. “Sweetheart, we don’t have to talk about it now. Would that be better? You can think about what you have to say, and I promise I’ll listen without judging you when you’re ready to tell me about it. Okay?” He gives your wrist a squeeze. “You aren’t upset, are you?” 

“I’m just thinking.” 

“Are you too distracted for dessert?” 

You let Aaron pick one for you. Let him pay the bill, he’d be insulted if you even asked about splitting it, and he might genuinely get annoyed if you offered yourself. You usually love it. Someone loves you enough that money is practically immaterial. Just last month he had to have the roof of the house redone, and you know his money isn’t infinite, as does he, and yet it didn’t stop you from being spoiled, because any money he has was money shared. You know if he suddenly turned pauper he’d still spoil you, same way you’re spoiled with soft touches and less chores than you should take. 

“You know I don’t think of you as my father, right?” you ask. 

Aaron chokes on a startled laugh. “Of course I do,” he says, coughing, clutching your elbow. 

“So if I tell you that sometimes the way you treat me reminds me of my father, you won’t take it the wrong way?” 

“No.” He smiles where he should frown, wraps an arm behind your back when he should be judging you. “Men are still men. And I am a father, so it makes sense that you’d have those connotations in mind sometimes.” 

“I don’t want you to be my dad, but I do wonder… I wonder if I want to be around you so much because my father didn’t want to be around me. Does that make sense?” 

“I think it makes sense to wonder about it,” he says diplomatically. 

You’re nearly back to the car and this is a strange place to bare your heart, but it’s not so dramatic, you suppose. “I just think that sometimes I cling to you so much, and it must be– I’m insecure about you.”

“Mm, but you have no reason to be,” he says, pulling you closer still, his fingers aligned against your ribs and warming through your layers. 

“My father didn’t like me, not like you like Jack. There were things that were far more important to him. But with you, I’m important, and– and I know it’s not the same relationship, but–” You groan, not sure what you’re trying to say to him, or what you want him to understand. 

“My father didn’t like me, either,” Aaron says, encouraging you to keep walking to the car. “He was not a nice person. And it absolutely affected how I feel now, even if I don’t always think about him. The way he treated me when I was young influenced the person I am now. And looking for the things I wish he was, looking for kindness, for a gentle partner, it doesn’t mean that I need a placeholder for him, does it? I know what you’re saying to me. Don’t think you’re wrong for wanting to be looked after.” 

You can’t help breathing out a sigh of relief. “Right.” 

“I’ve never been a young woman, and I don’t have a daughter, but it’s not hard to imagine how you felt. It’s okay to wish you’d been loved properly.” 

“I was never a daddy’s girl,” you confess. 

“It’s not fair. Everyone wants to be treasured when they're a kid. And it makes sense that you’re still looking for that feeling. We both know it’s not the same, but I really will look after you.” He smiles. “Okay?” 

“Okay. Sorry if it’s too weird.” 

“It’s not weird to want someone who takes care of you.” 

You bring your hands to his face. They’re smaller than his, you’ve shorter fingers with softer palms, but they fit perfectly on his cheeks. You tease the scratchy hill of his chin with your thumb before closing your eyes, reaching up for a kiss. The bags hanging from your elbows crack, crushed as Aaron gets his hands behind your back to hold you. 

“You’re too good to me,” you say softly, returning flat to your heels. 

Aaron pulls your face back to kiss your cheek. “You deserve everything you get, honey. I promise.” 

[wooahaes]

as much as you’ve waited, i’ll hug you with my whole body

pairing: non-idol!lee know x fem!reader

genre: fluff. very very slight angst i think? not a ton though.

word count: 1.2k~

warnings: sappy lino. predictable as hell, but thats okay. reader is a cat mom.

daisy’s notes: oh this wasnt supposed to be longer than all the others... whoops. guess i love cat butler too much-

The apartment felt emptier than normal without Minho, especially on your birthday.

Sure, you weren’t a complete shut-in for the day. That morning, you had dressed up all nice and pretty and gone out with a couple of your girl friends for a bit to distract you from the lonely feeling that’d been eating at you for the past several days. Your boyfriend had gone abroad for a few days for a work venture alongside his boss and a few of his other coworkers, and it just so happened he wouldn’t be getting back until tomorrow morning. He’d called you every night just to catch up (save for that first night--his coworker, Felix, had sent you a picture of him passed out in bed with a tiny apology that you wouldn’t hear from him until the next day), to check in on you (and your three furry children). He’d called you last night, too, just to wish you a happy birthday once the clock flipped over to midnight. He said that they’d be done with work sometime today, but that their flight wasn’t until late. Otherwise he’d be right there with you, curled up close and holding you tight.

So you sent him pictures of the kids (and one of yourself, at his request) in their cat tree, or playing with toys, or doing anything you deemed picture-worthy... which, to be fair, was most things. Sometimes you swore your boyfriend rubbed off on you with how many pictures in your camera roll consisted of the cats. Doongie had laid across your shoes the day after Minho left, fussing at you to not leave him, and you’d sent the video to him of you gently trying to tell him to let you leave. That his dad would be back, soon... and that you missed him, too. 

At least you had the cats to keep you company. And sometimes Chris, who came by at one point to check on you (prompted by Minho, no doubt) and share a meal with you so you didn’t always have to eat alone... and Jisung, who swung by (also prompted by Minho, you knew for sure) to invite you out for a walk. He had turned red when you called him out on it, and he had insisted further that he only invited you out because he, too, wanted to go for a walk... even if Minho did tell him to check on you. It’d been nice to get out of the apartment, and the two of you ended up getting ramen together at a place you ended up finding.

But now you were waiting on your takeout, thinking about the cupcake that sat before you on the coffee table. You’d managed to keep the cats away from it (although they’d stopped showing interest a while ago once they got a whiff of it and realized it wasn’t appetizing enough for them), and now you were holding back. Dinner first, then you could light the candle and celebrate something by yourself... Or with the cats, if you could round them up to sit with you.

The buzzer rang out, and you hopped up to make your way over. Doongie had began to fuss, and you had stopped long enough to quiet him down.

“Just a little longer,” you said, reaching out to scratch him behind his ears as he peered up at you. “And then your dad will be home.”

He merely fussed at you again before taking off, continuing to yell at the door. Despite your scolding, you went to unlock the door with an apology on your lips for all the fuss if the delivery guy still happened to be there.

Only for Minho to be standing there, jacket draped over his arm and suitcase sat beside him. “Happy birthday,” he said. “I made it.”

All at once, you felt overwhelmed at the sight of him standing there, as cliche as it all felt. You covered your mouth, fighting back the urge to cry and losing almost instantly. He had said he couldn’t catch an earlier flight, that he had looked into it and there was nothing. With a sniffle, you stepped forward and into his arms, wrapping your own around him tight.

“We finished up early,” he told you, arms curving around you and holding you tight. “So I thought I would surprise you.”

Most days, you knew Minho as someone who was... a little quiet, even after how long you’d been dating. Silly, too: he always knew how to make you laugh. And sometimes, in moments like these, he knew how to make your heart feel like it was squeezed so tight that it burst. The softer, more forthcoming Minho who was honest with you because he knew both of you valued that. That while he did, technically, deceive you and make you think he wouldn’t be here... It was just so he could surprise you like this.

“How did--” You pulled your face back from his shoulder, “How’d you get here?”

A pause.

“Chris.” The two of you said at the same time. Of course it’d be Chris who picked him up this late and brought him home to you. You knew the others would do it, too, if he asked, but Chris wouldn’t hesitate. You’d have to thank him later.

Minho pulled away from you long enough to pick up his bag and usher you back inside. You listened to him address Doongie, who was very vocally giving him a piece of his mind for leaving him for so long, and went to find the other two. Soonie had been curled up on his side of the bed (that was where he spent most of his time, while Dori was in his zoomies mode, zipping from room to room as though he were being chased. 

The door sounded again as he was heading to put his bag away to unpack later, and you made a comment about it being your food this time. When you came back to find Minho, he was petting Soonie, speaking to him in a quiet voice.

“Did you watch after her like I asked?” He scratched behind the cat’s ears. “You have to keep her company whenever I’m gone. She’s your mom, too.”

Something about how earnest he seemed when speaking to the cats like this (not the first time, and it’d never be the last) made you tear up again. Had he bought an entirely new ticket just to come home early to see you? He looked up, and could see the look on your face.

“Ah, honey...” He made his way over, already opening his arms back to you as you sought refuge in them. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t mean to make you cry...”

“It’s okay,” you said, hugging him tight. “I’m crying because I’m happy, silly.”

“I know, but...” He shut his eyes, holding you tight. “Is there anything we can do to celebrate your birthday before its over? I slept on the plane. I can stay up longer.”

You shook your head. “I just want you to hold me a little longer first. Is that okay?”

With a blissful sigh, he held you tighter. “Always,” he said softer, gently stroking your back. “I love you. I’m glad I made it in time.”

taglist: @twancingyunhao​

[storiesbyjes2g]

Fix it

Hey, guys! It's ME! I'm driving the bus today because there was no way I was going to attempt to make sense of this very sims party! As you can see, Anissa is prepared to TURN UP and is quite proud of what they've done. Let's meet the guests, shall we?

First up, we got Olivia Kim-Lewis-Talla. Say that five times fast! She is married to Duane Talla of Sulani. They have three children and live in Windenburg (I think). We've met their oldest before. She is Noemi's new friend. Olivia is still a princess and got that man working double time to maintain the lifestyle she's accustom to. Is anyone going to tell her that her parents were actually broke and her daddy worked in Rodney's restaurant? 😅

Next, we have Aleah Baker. She's practically a saint and adopted an orphan the day after her young adult birthday. At least that is the only logical reason for her having a teenage daughter as a young adult (she's around Nate's age) without ever being pregnant lol. MCCC never told me about that one. Anyway... She raised her on her own until she met her now husband, Waylon. The daughter, Alessandra, is a friend of Noemi's. We also know Aleah's parents since they frequent Rodney's restaurants. They're the people who asked him what they ordered last time lol.

This is Waylon, Aleah's husband. They live in Glimmerbrook, and for a long time it was the three of them. He's been a great dad to Alessandra and treats her like his own blood. He and Aleah recently decided to expand their family and have two small children together. If you think he looks familiar, you're right! We met him loooooooong time ago when Melany and Anissa were young pups at Britechester. He was the handsome stranger who wanted to play pong with them, and one of the few sims I allowed to be bald lol.

Finally, Duane Talla, everybody. Very unfashionably late too. He's come a long way from being that nice young man on the island. Frankly, he's a bit too relaxed for my tastes lol. You'll see...

Olivia brought all that princess energy and had Anissa plotting evil plans in her head. Y'all see that hand? She had to snatch it back lol. Something about the house being quaint. I was just the photographer lol.

Jorden was looking at Aleah like this all night. Lovestruck says he had an instant attraction. (sigh) Anissa had an instant attraction with Waylon, but I was not surprised lol.

It was all fun and games until Olivia opened her mouth again. Something about it must suck having to work.

If you thought she had a problem keeping her thoughts in her head, get a load of this. As soon as Duane arrived, girlfriend tried to steal Anissa's Lin-Z! In front of everyone! Aleah was appalled at her behavior, but Duane did absolutely nothing. Why are all my Dwaynes ultra passive men?? 😂

Anissa needed a distraction at this point before she actually laid hands on that child. Luckily, Waylon caught her attention. He hit her with the, "Heeey, I know where I know you from." They talked about their time at Britechester, and of course at some point he hit her with the, "Hey, whatever happen to your friend? The famous one." As if you don't know. 😑

This party needed some life. And they weren't hitting the milestones, so I tried to get them all to grab drinks for an easy win. Instead, they grabbed food instead. Weird. Oh well. At least it got them all at the table to get to know each other. Anissa took pleasure in Olivia's embarrassment.

Waylon also couldn't believe Olivia tried to steal and was very uncomfortable being around her. Duane still said nothing and acted like he didn't see it.

Anissa and Jorden were able to grab drinks. When I tell you this man stayed in Aleah's face all night!! I kept telling him not to get in trouble.

If you're wondering, yes, Anissa noticed. No, she did not appreciate it.

I couldn't take anymore, so I ended the party lol. You know this situation will come up again sometime in some form, so don't worry lol. We'll get to the bottom of it!

Have a great weekend!

[ace-and-the-rpg-horrors]

all the normal people create lore for side characters that turn up for one event and didn't even get a live2D model. anyways, Hibiki Miyake headcanons!!

firstly: this is the main silly headcanon, that he and Kohane are related, cousins probably- same demeanour, same vibes, same creatureness, similar face. bad eyesight runs in the family too

he lives with Kohane's family because he's orphaned. his mother and her father were siblings

he looks up to Kohane's dad a lot and does a bit of photography too, not as much as the rest of his family though

he's not much taller than Kohane so people always mistake him to be her little brother even though he's a year older

silly coincidence, he has the exact same birthday as Kohane, 2nd of March, just a year before

extremely ironically, he has a phobia of snakes so he avoids being in the same room as Count Pearl at all costs. once, she ended up in his room and he immediately collapsed, then upon waking up, he found that the snake had slithered on him and fainted again. Kohane was apologising for weeks

he lets Kohane drag him along to her visits at PXL, however, he often ends up running into Rui who very sneakily gets him caught up in a conversation and steals him away to watch W x S rehearse. he accidentally ditches her zskcqascngoepsexmpwqeq (shhh it's okay, Kohane can just call An who'll run across the city to accompany her in two minutes)

he's scared of the other VBS members xsidtfncerjitweorspjwpw

speaking of VBS, he wants to support his cousin, but he's too sensitive to noise and crowds to watch their events in person himself, but he still buys tickets and gives them to his friends

he's always telling Kohane about everything that goes down in Kamikou. this disappoints An because Kohane already knows all the drama before she gets a chance to tell her xjkudiguvoirentjepw

An: "Kohaneeeeee, you'll never guess what i caught Kamishiro-senpai doing today!!"

Kohane: "oh, i've heard!! he was disassembling a mean teacher's desk, wasn't he? :)"

An: "HOW DID YOU KNOW??"

Kohane: "i have connections, An-chan :)"

VBS didn't know that Kohane had a cousin at Kamikou for agessssssss

she wanted to introduce them, especially because they all go to the same school. but that was exactly why Miyake wanted to avoid that because of the anxiety and awkwardness of seeing people you know from school outside of school

VBS found out one day when they saw Rui in town and Kohane was going to go say hi (interaction idea from @slightlytoastedbagel )

Akito: "yo, Kohane, you want to stay away from that guy, he's proper odd"

Kohane: "... eh? Kamishiro-san is one of my cousin's best friends though??"

An and Akito: "WHAT."

Toya, who just knows everything: "oh yes, you're related to Miyake-senpai, right Azusawa? :)"

An and Akito: "WHAT."

he initially went to the same "elite" high school that Rui did in his first year, but left way before him, only a couple of months in, because he was getting bullied

it was said in the last chapter of Pandemonium that he wanted to be friends with Rui but took ages to reach out to him because Rui was always invested in his drones and seemed disinterested in everything else

for this reason, i feel like he regrets not finding the courage to befriend him sooner now that they're no longer in the same class

he goes shopping with Rui, Taniyama and Hayashi on weekends, they're all interested in computers and such

he and Taniyama are both a bit jel that Hayashi got to be in the same class as Rui and Tsukasa for third year

Rui just goes around visiting all his friends who are in different classes (ahem, Nene) and Miyake's always very happy upon seeing his purple friend being silly outside his classroom's window (and then his teacher shoos him away for being distracting)

he's asexual and panromantic

has severe social anxiety and is on the spectrum but undiagnosed (he went under the radar his whole life because he's "quiet") his special interest in technology was why he felt drawn to Rui. autism to autism communication

[lizardperson]

mommy issues

[on ao3]

fandom: original work rating: m cw: bad parent-child relationship/nagging, swearing wc: 610 prompt: #fff283 calling, calling home for @flashfictionfridayofficial

---

Fia stared at her phone, weighing her options. She could just text and be done with it. But on the other hand, maybe it wouldn't be so bad this time… Sighing, she finally decided to call. If her mother didn't answer, Fia at least tried and did her daughterly duty.

Of course she picked up, so quick in fact that she might have been waiting right by the damn phone.

Almost out of reflex, Fia sat up straight and put on a cheery voice. "Hey Mom!"

"Fia. Now if that isn't a surprise."

She bit her tongue. "Just wanted to wish you a happy birthday!"

"Oh wow, you remembered."

It took all her willpower to ignore her mother's nagging voice, instead of reminding her that she actually did call every damn year.

"You guys got any plans for today? Party or something?"

"Oh, please." Fia could basically hear the eye-rolling through the phone. "What's there to celebrate? If you ever make it to my age, you'll feel the same."

No, I sure fucking won't.

"And your father is barely home anyway."

And who can blame him.

"It's not like anybody cares about me."

Maybe if you weren't such a damn bitch, people would.

Digging her nails into the palms of her hand, Fia somehow restrained herself from saying these things out loud - as satisfying as it would have been at that moment. But she wasn't equipped to deal with the fallout right now, so she just kept up the small talk.

"You guys doing okay otherwise? Anything new?"

"Same as ever," her mother snorted, then changed the topic. "Are you still working as a secretary, or did you finally find a real job?"

Once again Fia regretted calling at all. As if they didn't have that very same conversation a dozen times before.

"Yes. And it's not so bad, actually."

"Sure could have avoided all those years of college then, if all you ended up doing is answering the phone. Don't need much school for that."

Was there a way to strangle someone through a phone line?

Fia took a deep breath and put on her best fake smile and cheery voice. Let's just get this over with. "Yeah, maybe. Anyway, I don't want to keep you!"

"Already had enough of me, hm?"

Yes. Because fuck you. "Say Hi to Dad! Bye, Mom!"

"Hmm. Bye."

With a frustrated sigh, Fia threw her phone on the couch. Why, again, did she still do this? Might as well not call, ever. She was the bad, uncaring daughter anyway. And it would save her the shitty mood she always got from those talks.

The last few times, she got unreasonably drunk afterward. Which wasn't exactly the healthiest coping mechanism - but on the other hand, she could probably deal with it in worse ways. However, this time, there was another option…

Gnawing on her lip, Fia grabbed her phone again.

Helena answered after a few rings. "Hey."

"Hey. What are you doing right now?"

"Not much, just reading. You okay? You sound strange."

How the hell did Helena already know her so well that she could pick up the smallest mood changes in her voice? Unbelievable.

"Just a shitty day," Fia waved it off. "So I thought you might have a way to improve it a little…"

Helena chuckled. "Well, come on over then. I'm sure I'll find something to take your mind off of whatever is bothering you."

She always did.

"Be there in twenty."

Freud would probably have something to say about distracting yourself from your shitty mother by sleeping with a woman roughly that same age. Good thing Freud was dead.

[perplexingluciddreams]

My birthday is always a hard day. Today is no different. Especially this morning (and late last night/really really early morning before I went to bed), I really struggled.

I did a lot of swinging and songs on repeat and stimming and watching Merlin (all trying to distract from birthday-ness and making it feel safe and normal).

Then in the afternoon my brain relaxed a bit and tummy stopped feeling unwell. So I asked for two presents to open. I got a huge body pillow (HUGE MASSIVE), and two matching space theme pyjamas (in same style as the ones that I like best for sensory). Both things I asked for specifically, so it is not a big surprise, which is good for me.

And I had slightly different food than usual but that is okay because it is nice and tasty yummy food that makes me happy 😋����!

I also had a conversation with Dad using AAC and that was very nice. We talked about how birthday is hard, he said he knew it would be a tough day from when he saw me in the morning at breakfast. But he said I am in control of what we do and when we do it and I can do whatever I want to make it as best feeling as possible. And then I tell him about watching Merlin and Supergirl, and he was jokingly "shocked" about me saying my favourite is Morgana and Lena and Katie McGrath 😆😂. I love my Dad 🥰.

Overall, as good a day as can be expected for my birthday. The rest of today is just for more swing and music on repeat and Merlin and Supergirl.

And tomorrow I can maybe have a few more presents and another jam doughnut! (And I am pretty sure I got sweets/chocolate from my Gran and Auntie when they came over earlier - they were downstairs and I didn't see them but Dad told me).

Thank you to everyone who said nice things to me today! It makes me smile 😊😊

[queenpiranhadon]

Just gonna vent a bit

This past week has been extremely stressful and I’m just done.

I’m a theatre kid - I love performing - and we have a show coming up this week and preparing for that is just so draining because apparently since I’m a cat and the costume they gave me has a masquerade style cat mask with ears, I’m not allowed to wear my freaking glasses and no one realizes that I have really bad eyesight - not so bad that I can’t walk or function completely - but if you were me - you’d realize how fucking terrifying it is when the world around you is blurry and you feel like you’re going dizzy except you’re not because this is just the damn body you’re born in.

To add on to all the stress, I have to maintain my grades and it’s just so exhausting because it’s like “test!” “test!” “review!” “review!” “oh you got a 96%?” “do better! you can’t keep distracting yourself with all this spending time with friends”

Mixed with “you never leave the house - why don’t you go out with friends?” Maybe it’s because YOU DONT LET ME.

And to top it all off, my dad is leaving for India tomorrow- and he just got back from another business trip within but still far in the country.

Tomorrow is also my brother’s birthday - my dad was supposed to leave yesterday, but he changed it so he could be here for my brother’s birthday.

How sweet and caring and thoughtful of him right?

And yes, I get that my dad is a very hardworking man and I’m very proud of him and his accomplishments but he never cares. It’s always about my perfect little brother who is far from perfect if you ask me. No matter what I do it’s always “be better!” “do better!” “you’ve been given a privilege and you’re putting it to waste!” With him, it’s always “we believe in you!” “we’ll help you through this!!” “no matter what, we’ll always love you.”

His punishments for doing literally terrible things are so small, yet when my parents find out I’m not straight, they give me emotional trauma for months. The little fucker literally trashed the neighbor’s front yard with a friend on purpose and then when confronted about it, lies straight through his teeth.

But here’s the real topping to the cake - yes I do love my parents, no matter how many times we may disagree on things, they are my rock and I wouldn’t be where I am without them. But this one small thing they couldn’t do for me. My dad goes out of his way to make sure he is there for my brother’s birthday but he isn’t there for mine last year. Last year when he left for a trip, he missed my musical’s show nights - had to watch it on a stupid hard drive - and when he did, he never said a goddamn thing. No “good job, your singing and acting was great!” or “I wish I could’ve been there in person!”

And even now, he’s still doing the same goddamn thing - he’s missing the show I’m doing and doesn’t feel a single ounce of remorse. All my fucking hard work for nothing.

It just fucking sucks when others seems to get what you want, what you need so easily, when you’ve worked your entire life to experience barely a ghost of what could’ve been.

And finally today, my brother is lying on the floor of my room, refusing to leave me the fuck alone even though I’ve been annoyed all day from walking around shopping for shit and sitting through church and trying to keep a clear head even though I just really want to go home and take a long nap but I can’t because the little fucker and trashing the room I spent all week trying to keep clean and my mom won’t do a goddamn thing because “it’s your brother and he’s just playing with you.”

And at this point- I’m just done. Because no one gets it. No one ever does.

And so I say something along the lines of “You’re turning — tomorrow. When I was your age, I was working hard, and auditioning and competing and you’re here lying on the floor of your older sister’s bedroom completely useless.”

And yes I admit that was a little harsh - he started crying - but my mom’s response was what got me.

She said “never call you brother useless again. Keep your achievements to yourself, you hear me?! I have never heard you this mean to anyone before.”

But she doesn’t know. She doesn’t know what I go through every day m, trying to keep my head high and my eyes looking forward even though I can’t see anything.

She doesn’t know, my dad doesn’t know, my brother doesn’t know, heck, most of my friends don’t even know. They all just think I’m a smart girl who’s never had a problem with her position, getting to where she is in life.

They don’t know how hard I work, how hard I worked, to keep my shaky feet on the ground, to keep myself standing tall when there’s nothing to keep me up.

For those who surely don’t need to know, I’ve been crying while typing all of this, and I’m exhausted so I’m ending this here.

Sorry for unexpectedly trauma dumping - I just needed shit off of my chest.

Hope y’all are doing okay!

Lotsa love from Kae <3

[beansnsoup]

Hi 👋 May I politely ask for the mario and luigi do secretly birthday for her younger sister,like today is her birthday,but mario and Luigi pretend not knowing is her birthday and give big surprise 🤭

I hope you can make kind long story for her birthday

- I'm loving these sibling requests

☆

Birthday Girl

Summary: The thing you hated most was people forgetting things, especially important things, and your brothers knew that, so they'd thought it'd make a good excuse to throw a surprise party.

Relationship: Platonic

Characters: Luigi & Mario

Warnings: angst??, fluff, surprises, fem reader

You wake up that morning in pure excitement. You could barely sleep the night before.

Your mom would always make you a nice breakfast and greet you with a, "There's my birthday girl!" It was by far your favorite day of the year.

Today seemed to be a bit off, though, that morning when you walked into the kitchen. You got the usual hellos and good mornings, not even your mom said anything special.

You didn't question it, though. You'd hate to be the one that ruins the vibe, but if you were being honest, you felt like you were going to cry.

You excused yourself from the table so you could start getting ready for school, it felt like you were overreacting but the thought of people changing the way things have been for years and forgetting such thinh hurt alot.

"I mean, it's weird, right? You guys don't think I'm overreacting?" You discussed with your friends that morning in your free period.

"I personally think it's sketchy, your family weirdly goes all out for birthdays."

"Yeah, your party last year was insane. Don't regret a thing, though." Your other friend chimed in, taking a swig of he coffee.

"My mom didn't even say anything."

Your friends sent you a blank stare, "You're joking."

You shook your head, "Nope, Mario and Luigi even took off work for these couple of days. They didn't say anything either."

"There's got to be something going on."

That was followed by you shrugging. At this point, you accept anything, even if it was just you going out that afternoon with your friends.

If your family did remember later on, you could pull a petty reality show moment on them or something.

After school ended that day, the three of you went out to go thrifting, then went to the local cupcake bakery. It was probably the only amount of cake you were going to get today.

Your friends sang you happy birthday, and then you all went to Party City to play around in kids' costumes and party supplies.

"You think mom and dad will let you guys stay over?"

"Yeah, I'd just have to call my parents."

"Same."

The three of you begin to make your way towards your apartment building, you had to admit that you were dreading to face your family again after them forgetting your birthday, but you hoped it was just a one time thing.

Your friends had their arms latched around yours with you walking in the middle. You could tell they were trying their best to bring your mood back up.

Truth was that they hated seeing you so bummed out, the day before you couldn't stop talking about how excited you were and wondering what breakfast you would get or cake design.

They wanted you to have the best birthday you could, forgetful family aside.

You all walk up to the door of your apartment, and one of your friends open the door for you guys with their free hand.

"Surprise!"

You let go of your friends' grasp, hands going straight to your mouth. Your mom comes up to you first, wrapping you in a warm hug,

"I thought you all forgot." You mutter out to her. "Oh, Tesoro, we're your family. We'd never do that to you." She planted a kiss on your forehead.

You felt tears threatening to spill out. You turned around to your friends to distract yourself from this, "We're you guys in on this?"

"A little," one of them said in a wincing tone, "We were bribed to distract you." The other laughed out.

Your brothers jumped up from behind you. Once you met them face to face, they were welcomed with a slap, "Jerks!"

"Ow!" Luigi let out, rubbing the spot where you hit, "Would you have rather us really forget?" Mario asked you with a diva like look on his face.

You crossed your arms and rolled your eyes along with it, "No."

"That's what I thought."

"Can we have cake now?" Your friend asked, you glanced over to your mom, "It's fine with me."

Later that night, you and your friends were cooped up in your room, organizing gifts your family had gotten you.

"Y/N?"

You hummed in reply,

"Can I be your sister-in-law?"

"Ew, what?"

"Oh my god, I think Mario is a catch." Your friend chimed in, adding a vintage tone to her voice as she put her hand to her forehead.

"Good because I think Luigi is the sweetest and a total dreamboat." The other said in the same vintage tone.

I LOVE WRITING SIBLING FANFICS ♡♡♡

You stuffed your face in your pillow, "My new birthday wish is for you guys not to marry my brothers."

[unktto]

LLAY OKAY SO TODAY WAS A BAD DAY NOT LIKE BAD DAY IN GENERAL IT WAS ACTUALLY REALLY AQESOME AND COOL BUT LIKE GOAL WISE

cuz i woke up with MY MANS WHO AINT MY MANS IGGG NEXT TO ME and CIELO AND ASHTON CAME BACK AND WERE LIKE WE ARE GOING TO EL PANTEÓN WANNA COME AND OBVIOUSLY I WANNA GO TF WE GON GO VISIT JACK WHY NOT I HAVENT SEEN THAT MF IN A MINUTE

idk i was talking to that mf and i gave him a hug and dapped him up and shi idk i was trying to make it feel a bit lighter cuz i could tell ashton seemed a bit sad and he’s allowed to feel sad but we are there to show ashton also that it isn’t all about being sad idk we sung happy birthday to jack and shi too

and then got home and fckn CHRIS SURPRISED US WITH HIS GUN HES BEEN WORKING ON AND IT WORKS WOOO WOOO so two seconds later i broke the tv YEP

LMAO

i apologize to my dad and told him immediately after and he didn’t really seem to trip which was nice i’m kinda used to people pushing it in my face how i fuck up and he dint much but idk i also used it to my advantage to be like but heyyy you also aren’t around much and we miss you bla bla which probably wasn’t the best time to tell him all that given it distracts from the main problem of i fucked up

it’s the whole mentality of i fucked up im sorry but come back i miss you bla bla

like MF ALSO AINT RESPOND so i think i should send him an im sorry text

either way it’s my dad he isn’t around but i know he’s around if i look

but i do look don’t i?

IDK SEE IM VERY VOCAL I WILL VERY MUCH BE LOUD ABOUT IT IM JUST LOUD

oh but i lost the whole point yeah so the goals i did terrible today truthfully it was a fun day and wonderful and bad and eventful honestly but i need to make sure to be able to have the balance of both of those together

but it is also the thing of i am barely getting the goals list apart of my daily routine i do truthfully gotta put more focus into that

but then the other point of these are my people so i am not given the time nor wait to be like no i can’t i wont do that today ill just wait til they leave

no i gotta do it shit if anything while they are there it’s embarrassing and humbling right now but it won’t be when i’m jacked and rich and i can be like yeah but you seen me work for it

so yeah bad day goals wise but i see how i fucked up and i’ll improve it’s all about fail and trying again and again and again until you get it right

but for the love of god let me get this shit right

IVE SUFFERED MY DUE THINGS OF FUCK UPS

see but me saying that is a reason to throw another thing it’s literally like DAMN BRO idk i think i make them most in my head tho im in my head a lot these days need to get not out but let more in you know

appreciate everything cuz i am constantly letting shit out but what goes in but the same shit you threw out so if you stop the cycle not even early or late it doesn’t matter

just as long as you’re constantly trying and are like hey yk let sm shi in sometimes maybe what comes out won’t be as like empty and angry it won’t just look like objects to you but memories

either way not trying to forgive my wrong doings i am in the wrong and i should be better and i will be i truly will be

[lifewithalittlechaos]

July 30, 2024 (this is a bit of a long one; TW: SH mention, mentions of drinking)

Today was going ok until tonight. For the past few days, the Gravity Falls website/puzzle has been consuming my mind and I've dedicated a lot of my energy trying to figure out what the website could possibly mean.

After I picked my dad up from work everything was chill until the very end of the day. I was in the living room playing Call of Duty when I heard my parents start to argue. From what I heard, they were arguing over what to get for my sister's birthday that is in less than two weeks. Being me, I muted the TV to eavesdrop on what they were arguing about, and then it escalated and my mom got really angry at my dad and started cursing. After that, the house went silent, but it was uncomfortable, not peaceful. My parents have been fighting for a while and they started to go to counseling, but I've convinced myself that it isn't going to work and that they're going to get a divorce and everytime they fight I get terrible anxiety over it and my body just doesn't feel good :(

I want to cry so bad and express my sadness, but my anti-anxiety meds kind of prevent me from doing that, so I just lay in my bed feeling numb.

I have a little bit more than three weeks until I move back into school and once I get there I just wanna drink and party and bury my sadness deep inside because I don't like how I feel right now in this environment. I feel like my life is just crumbling around me piece by piece and I'm watching it, yet I can't do anything to stop or control it which makes me feel helpless.

I want to be distracted with school and I have this strong urge to drink, but I don't think it's an alcoholic urge. I know the urge isn't healthy, but I don't feel like I need alcohol to survive, just a few sips to help with my anxiety and stress. Hopefully, this urge doesn't turn into anything stronger because I'm genuinely scared to become addicted to anything. I used to SH and I don't really get THOSE urges anymore, but also I feel like because I'm not really capable of expressing my sadness, I can't physically get them anymore.

P.S. I really fucked up my knee earlier and it hurts so fucking bad omg.

[ellowynthenotking]

Feb 6

Dear Dad

I forgot to say it yesterday, but we’re somewhere safer. At least a bit more than the last place was when we left.

Defintely no dragons, so that’s a win. 

Being out in the snow for like a week wasn’t great. Neither was letting out the dragon, but I think that’s just something I’m going to have to live with. 

On the upside, at least, the weather seems to be warming up, or I’m getting used to freezing. Maybe I’m turning into an ice monster for my hand in the genocide last week. 

I think it would be a more or less fair result of my hand in everything. 

But I probably shouldn’t beat myself up so much about it. Granted, this is a thing that’s a lot worse than the things teenagers usually beat themselves up over. Most of the time, it’s like a failed test or staying out too late and getting grounded. 

People are dead because I chose to act instead of sitting back. 

I think everyone’s tried to talk to me about it now. We’re somewhere safe. we’re trying to adapt again. I guess it’s time to talk about all this. 

Which, again, there’s not much that I can do about what’s already done, but the others are right that I’m way beating myself up over it. 

So I’ve tried not to. And I’m going to try not to be here talking to you. 

So we’re in this weird magical world. Where there are portals and magic. And genecidal dragons. 

And Grace’s birthday. Well, it was a couple of days ago when we were all trying very hard not to look at each other, talk to each other, or think about how we helped a city get leveled. But anyway, that’s not what I’m talking about today.

Grace turned 15 a couple days ago, and she hid it from the rest of us. I don’t know why. Maybe she just doesn’t like to celebrate, or she doesn’t want to celebrate here. It could be any reason. But it’s Grace’s birthday week, and we needed something good to think about, to talk about. Something.

We’ve been in this new place for a couple days. I don’t know for how much longer, though. We haven’t really talked about that.

But I found a cake because birthdays need cakes. I don’t think it was a cake that Grace liked very much, and it was kinda expensive for what it was. Really, it was just like a sweet bread with some sweet syrup or something on it, but it was kind of tasty. Enough to call it a cake, I think.

We celebrated together and talked about how cool Grace is, how much we love her, and what family birthday traditions are back home. Talked about all kinds of things, most of them happy, and everyone was happier than they’d been in days. I think.

I wish she’d told us. it’s not like it would have changed anything, anything at all, but maybe we could have been distracted sooner. Or maybe it was unfair of us to use Grace’s birthday to push back on the things, on the feelings that we’ve been feeling. To push back the things that I’ve been feeling. 

But we still did our best to make it a good birthday.

No presents but we joked a lot, the stories everyone told were hilarious. I didn’t know Reese made all the cakes for his family events. He said he’s got an art to making something called wacky cake that’s really good and the only thing people can apparently agree on eating for birthdays. I guess there’s a lot of allergies in his family. 

Now, I don’t know if I believe it, but Riley said her friend group usually takes turns kidnapping the birthday person and going out on a boat to someone’s cabin and then having a party mostly away from family and responsible adults who would stop them. I don't think you'd approve of some of the things she said they do, but there’s not much that I or you can do about it. But I think I, at least, will avoid having a Riley-style party. But if we’re still here when her birthday comes around, maybe we’ll do something like that for her.

Or at least, maybe we’ll be able to plan something. I don’t think any of us asked when anyone else’s birthdays are. Or were. No, I think now it is right. We still have them even if we’re stuck here.  

It was a good night, even with everything looming over us. 

We’re going to keep trying, keep planning, keep hoping. And, even though it’s hard, keep believing. 

I don’t know where the road we’re on is going to lead us, I don’t know how long it’s going to take, but I can keep trying to get home. 

Hope we’ll be home for our next birthday(s) at least. I’d really rather not spend another year here. 

Love Jack

Read the rest of the series here: 

Or read more by this author here: 

[a-heart-like-a-sparrow]

December 30th, 2023 - Cemetery

────────────────────────────── Woke up at almost 3 PM Skipped breakfast again Mom and I visited Dad ──────────────────────────────

☆.。†：＊・゜☆．。†：＊・゜☆．。†：＊・゜☆

Oh God, why didn't I do this earlier?

Right now I'm at a restaurant with my dear guests waiting for my mother. I got distracted and didn't write this at home before leaving.

But today was great actually. I went to the cemetery with my mother. Yesterday was my father's birthday and I couldn't go (I've already explained why). We cleaned his spot a bit, put fresh flowers and lit a new candle. I really wanted to cry, but I didn't. I miss him a lot.

Also, my mother told me I had written a letter for him. I completely forgot. She said she'll show it to me when she finds it.

Anyway, in the afternoon I hung out with my aunt and we stopped for some... thing. I really cannot explain it in English, you people don't have an actual word for it.

Paramos para conseguir una merienda. (translate it, it's your problem now lmao)

After that we visited some shops and went back home. And now we're out again to have dinner. We'll be back soon anyway.

So everything was good, including that visit to my father. It was a nice moment. Let's hope for more good times tomorrow! It's the last day of the year, it's gotta be good.

I don't have anything else to say. This entry became a way to register my day lol. But at least I wrote something.

I'll see y'all tomorrow. Thank you for anyone who's reading this without following me. And thank you to the ghosts reading this without me knowing.

Rest well!

☆.。†：＊・゜☆．。†：＊・゜☆．。†：＊・゜☆

PD: We went out to eat, okay? Something sweet.

And yeah, I didn't fix the other entries like I said I would. My computer is frozen again lmao.

[haleyhunwritess]

Hiii!!! Could you write a 🤍 fic or drabble with dad!bucky and steve is seeing reader but bucky doesn’t know and they have an argument about something and bucky says something really hurtful so then steve goes to comfort her🥺🥺🥺🥺

🤍 drabble for dad!bucky and reader having an argument then steve comforting her because they're secretly dating

a/n: WAIT I LOVE THIS, also i'm sorry i've been trying to upload more for the celebration but i've been a bit busy with school :(( i'm gonna try to answer more this weekend hopefully (btw i love the ideas you guys send in) also i'm so sorry i keep making these longer than they need to be, you're all probably so sick of my writing at this point😭😭

𝐡𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐲’𝐬 𝟏𝐤 𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐞𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

"You couldn’t behave just this once? You had to embarrass me infront of my colleagues," Bucky mumbled, as slumping down on the couch.

You recently started working with your father, as an intern of course. You were still in college but it was summer, and unfortunately your summer plans got cancelled. As a birthday present, your mum had bought a trip to Paris. Just for the two of you.

Unfortunately, before the end of the semester, she got into a car accident. When you got to the hospital, she was in surgery. You and Bucky waited there for hours. Steve came by to try to get you both to go home but neither of you moved. Finally, the doctor walked over to you guys. The pitiful look on his face already making you queasy as he said the words that changed your life in an instant. She passed away, she didn’t make it.

Bucky thought that maybe working with him this summer could help you take your mind off of things. At first, it was actually nice to have work as a distraction. But lately, the workload has been more than usual. It’s been tiring and hard but you’ve been trying your best. Today, however, someone else made a mistake and you got blamed for it. You tried to stand up for yourself but no one would listen to you. You looked to your dad for help but Bucky just shook his head and apologized on your behalf.

“I didn't even do anything! Why do you always have to argue with me" You yelled once again, as you threw your bag on the couch.

"I don’t want to argue with you, but you messed up and you need to learn how to take accountability for your actions!" Bucky yelled back, no longer caring about keeping his voice down.

You scoffed in response, "I wish Mom was still here, she wouldn't do this to me. She would stand up for me, she wouldn't believe some other kid over me."

"Fuck I wish she was here so she could see you right now, she'd be nothing but disappointed in you. Thank fucking god she's not here to see you like this, she'd be so fucking ashamed." Bucky instantly regretted what he said, but it was too late. The harsh words already left his mouth, and there was no taking them back now.

You both stood there like that until the sound of the front door pulled you out of your thoughts. You noticed Steve had walked in with takeout in his hand. You completely forgot he was coming over for dinner tonight. You looked back at Bucky before running upstairs to your room.

"Wait sweethear-" Bucky got cut off as you slammed your bedroom door shut. He quickly got up to follow you but Steve stopped him.

"Just let me go talk to her first.” Steve said, knowing you’d be too upset to see Bucky right now.

“I didn’t mean to say that… I just felt guilty when she said what she said…I didn’t mean to h-hurt her, fuck please just go check on her.” Bucky quickly wiped the tears away, knowing there was a chance you wouldn’t be able to forgive him for what he said.

Steve patted his back, before making his way upstairs to your room. His heart broke listening to the quiet sobs coming from your room. He lightly knocked on the door, “Angel, are you in here?”

“Go ‘way, don’t wanna talk…” You mumbled, putting the covers over your head.

“Come on, angel, you don’t have to talk it’s okay, I just wanna make sure you’re okay.” Steve waited for a few minutes, hoping you’ll let him in soon. He sighed before turning the doorknob, surprised to find it unlocked, and walking in.

He walked over to you, and sat down on the bed before carefully moving the blankets down. You looked up at him, with your tear-stained face, still sobbing quietly as you kept thinking about what Bucky said.

“Oh baby, look at you. All these tears don’t look good on my angel, come on let’s dry these up.” Steve carefully wiped away all your tears with his sleeve before pulling you closer to him to let you lay your head on his lap.

“H-he said that…” You couldn’t even finish the sentence. You wanted to tell Steve the harsh words you’d heard earlier. You didn't know that he already heard them as soon as he walked in. It took everything in him to not beat the shit out of Bucky at the time but he knew you needed him more though.

“Shh shh, it’s okay, he didn’t mean it. You know how much he loves you. He didn’t mean what he said, I promise. And I know for a fact that she’d be nothing but proud of you if she was still here.” He quickly shushed you, not wanting you to cry again. He tried his best to soothe you with his sweet words. It helped a little but you couldn’t help but wonder if Bucky was right. Would she be disappointed?

“Do you think she’d be disappointed in me? If she ever found out about us? Actually, do you think he’ll be disappointed in me if I ever told him about us?” You mumbled.

Steve thought about it for a second before replying, “Maybe at first, but I’m sure he'll come around. He'll will have to come around, angel, because I’m never letting you go.” He mumbled, burying his face in your neck, making you giggle a bit.

“I miss her alot…” You mumbled, as you could already feel the tears making their way back.

“I know, angel, I know. We all do…” Steve laid there with you until you fell asleep. Stroking your hair, and rubbing your back every now and then. All he wanted to do was take your pain away. You didn’t deserve to feel this way. You were his angel, all he wanted to do was protect you.

[capseycartwright]

If it sparks joy, what about kisses 18. short pecks for buddie? busy firefighters just giving short bursts of affection when they can <3

Dating Evan Buckley was like dating the human equivalent of a hurricane. Eddie meant that with the most amount of love possible – because he loved Buck, hyperactivity and all – but sometimes the best comparison was that of a hurricane. Specifically in moments like this when Buck was running around their house, completely flustered and trying to find everything he’d put in random places, the previous night.

Buck had only just moved in, was the thing, and so he hadn’t quite figured out a memorable spot for everything in the newly unified Diaz-Buckley household, not like he had in the loft. Eddie understood how his boyfriend’s brain worked – or didn’t work, sometimes – and he knew that Buck tended to forget things when they weren’t in a particular place. A set of air tags from Chimney as a recent (slightly frustration fuelled, considering the number of times the entire 118 had needed to look for Buck’s phone) present had made it easier to find Buck’s phone, and keys, but the rest was still a bit of a learning curve.

They’d figure it out, Eddie knew – Buck just needed some time to get settled and into their new routine.

And for now, it was kind of funny to watch Buck hop around their house, one sock on, trying to find his wallet.

Eddie took a sip of the coffee he’d made himself (with no help from Hildy, thank you very much) and watched as his boyfriend stood, hands on hips, in the doorway of the kitchen. He was decently disbelieved, his shirt hanging open, torso on show, and Eddie had to remind himself Buck was on a tight schedule and Eddie could not distract him.

“You can take my card,” Eddie suggested. “I’ve got cash, for anything Christopher and I might need today.”

Buck shook his head. “My wallet has to be here somewhere,” he said, frustrated. “All we did after work was come home!”

“Did you leave it at work?” Eddie suggested. It was a logical place for Buck to have left his wallet, surely – shoved at the back of their shared locker, tattered leather always reminding Eddie that he should buy Buck a new wallet, a nice one for his birthday, maybe.

Buck paused, thoughtful. “I couldn’t have!” he declared. “I ordered from Amazon last night.”

Eddie raised an eyebrow. “When did you have time to go online shopping last night?”

“I….” Buck trailed off. “I couldn’t sleep!” he declared, twisting around. “So, I came out to the living room so I wouldn’t wake you up, and I ordered a spice rack organiser on Amazon – don’t say anything, Eddie, our spice drawer is a criminal offence – and so my wallet has to be….” he trailed off, diving over the back of the couch, letting out a triumphant noise. “Hidden behind a cushion.”

Eddie took another sip of his coffee, enjoying the way the caramel-y, almost bitter taste hit the back of his tongue. Buck had gotten them new coffee beans, and they were good – really good. “It helps to retrace your steps,” he reminded, ever the dad – it was the same thing he tended to say to Christopher when his son had lost something and was getting frustrated about not being able to find it.

“It helps to have you,” Buck countered, tucking his wallet in the front pocket of his jeans, padding across the kitchen, still only wearing one sock. The cool tile of the kitchen floor made Buck squirm, as he leaned in, pressing a brief peck to Eddie’s lips.

Eddie smiled against the embrace. “You’re so late, baby.”

“I know,” Buck sighed, not moving away. “But I hate leaving here without you. Is that cheesy? We spend – we spend literally all of our time together, and I still wish I could somehow spend more time with you.”

Eddie grinned, kissing Buck softly. “It’s only for a few hours,” he reminded. “And you’re getting to hang out with your sister and very cute niece, and I’m going to do laundry. I know which one of us is going to have a more exciting day.”

Buck groaned. “The saddest thing is,” he sighed. “Is that I’d like to stay home and do laundry with you, Eddie. God – I just heard myself. Chimney is right, we’re absolutely disgusting.”

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, shaking his head as Buck tried to kiss him again. “We are,” he reassured. “It’s the honeymoon phase.”

Buck grinned, the expression making the corners of his eyes crinkle in that familiar adorable way, his nose scrunching up right at the end. “I hope it’s like this forever,” he said softly, his eyes brimming with love, just like they always did when he looked at Eddie – it had taken Eddie a while to notice, was the thing, but once he noticed, he hadn’t been able to stop noticing. Buck looked at Eddie like he was the greatest thing Buck had ever seen with his own two eyes, and Eddie wanted to bask in that gaze for the rest of time.

Eddie returned the smile. “It will be,” he reassured, because it had to be – how could loving Buck ever be different to how it felt now? “But only if you hurry up; Maddie will kill you if you’re late again.”

Buck groaned, leaning his forehead against Eddie’s for a second. “I hate when you’re right.”

“No, you don’t, because I’m always right.”

“Cheeky,” Buck grinned, pecking Eddie on the lips. “I.” kiss. “Love.” kiss. “You.” kiss. “So.” kiss. “Much.”

“I love you too, Buck,” Eddie poked at his boyfriend’s stomach. “But you’re really, really late.”

“I know,” Buck stole one last kiss, lingering a little longer. “You taste good, by the way.”

“It’s the new coffee,” Eddie called after Buck’s quickly retreating back. “And don’t forget to find your other sock!”

send me a touch prompt

[spnhunter4life]

So Long Version 2 Chapter 3

Word Count: 3.6k

A/N: A little bit of a shorter one this time. This is the first thing I wrote for this story. Here's the day Jenna turned 16. Enjoy!

Series Masterlist

Ages 16 and 17 June 25, 1996

I woke up, not exactly expecting to feel different, but maybe hoping. Today I would find out who my soulmate was. At least, I’d get a first name. Even though I knew it was stupid to get my hopes up, I couldn’t help but secretly want it to be Dean’s name. I was also nervous. Did I really want to know? If it wasn’t Dean, how would I deal with the disappointment? But if it was Dean, how could I possibly approach a subject like that? And even then, it wouldn’t mean it was Dean Winchester I was meant to be with. There were other Deans in the world. And wouldn’t he have said something by now if my name was tattooed on him somewhere?

Taking a deep breath, I looked over all of the skin currently exposed by my pajamas. Nothing on my arms or legs from the knees down. I looked at the clock and saw that it was already 9:30. I couldn’t believe I’d slept that long, that my dad had let me!

I jumped out of bed, grabbing my towel and clothes for the day, heading straight for the shower. I’d made one friend in this small Louisiana town, a very outgoing girl I’d bumped into while getting groceries with Sam and Dean. She’d been excited to meet someone new, saying all of her friends were on vacation for the summer, and she and I were supposed to meet up soon to spend the day together.

I started the shower to let the temperature adjust and then started the process of removing my clothes, checking each inch of revealed skin for a name. Nothing yet, then. Supposedly, the name showed up around the time of day you were born. I had no idea what time that was, so I would let Alyssa distract me for the day and check again tonight.

When I came out of the bathroom wearing shorts and a t-shirt with my hair in a ponytail to combat some of the summer heat, my dad, Ben, was just closing the door, chocolate chip muffins, my favorite breakfast food, in his hand.

“Happy birthday,” he smiled. “How does it feel to be 16?” He asked this question every year, but this was the big year, and it held a little more weight behind it. 

“It feels… pretty much the same as every other year I guess,” I told him honestly. Other than my nerves being slightly on edge with the upcoming soulmate reveal, it felt like any other day. “What are you still doing here? I thought you and John would’ve left by now.”

“That was the original plan, but I couldn’t leave without seeing my daughter on her birthday. I wanted to have the chance to eat breakfast together. The case can wait a couple hours,” he told me, sitting down at the table.

“Where are those two shadows of yours?” He teased as I took a seat across from him and grabbed a muffin. I knew he wouldn’t ask about my tattoo. He didn’t like people prying into his life and he didn’t pry into mine. He knew I’d tell him if I wanted to.

“I have no idea,” I replied as I peeled the wrapper off my muffin. “I haven’t seen either of them, but I just got up. Thanks for letting me sleep in by the way.”

“I figured one day can’t hurt. But don’t think you can go slacking off. It’s back to morning runs and training after this,” he said before taking a bite of his own muffin. “I still don’t understand why those boys aren’t here. You three make such a big deal out of each other’s birthdays, I half expected them to break down the door,” he mused.

“Maybe they forgot. And we don’t make ‘such a big deal’. One present and a movie night isn’t too much to ask. Besides, it’s mostly Sam. Dean always made a big deal about his birthdays growing up and so Sam learned to do the same for us,” I told him.

“Yeah but a bunch of kids scrounging up enough money to get those presents for each other is a big deal,” he said with a fond smile. Taking the last bite of his muffin, he stood and grabbed something off of the counter. “Speaking of presents,” he said as he handed it to me.

“Dad, you didn’t have to,” I told him as I grabbed it. 

“I know I didn’t, but it’s not every day your baby girl turns 16. It’s not much, but I thought you would enjoy it,” he replied a little awkwardly.

I grinned and wrapped my arms around him, Backstreet Boys CD clutched in my hand. I had found them on accident really. It was all Alyssa’s fault. I generally enjoyed the same music as Dean, but she had showed me one of their songs and I couldn’t get it out of my head. Dad had heard me humming it one day which led to an embarrassing confession.

“Don��t tell Dean,” I pleaded, knowing the endless teasing and likely judgment I would be on the receiving end of if he found out. “Oh, I wouldn’t dare,” Dad laughed, pulling away from the hug.

“I should probably go find him though,” I said, glancing at the clock. “I’m supposed to meet Alyssa soon and he said he’d drive me.”

“Have fun!” I heard him shout as I left our motel room. I saw the Impala parked by the room next door, so I knew he was here at least. Since Dean has legally been able to drive, John gave it to Dean and the two of them take either my dad’s truck or the one John had purchased after gifting Dean the Impala. As I raised my hand to knock, the door flew open.

“Oh!” John said, startled. “I was just going to tell your dad we need to get going. I’m glad you’re up.” Then he was in the motel room I’d just abandoned, not waiting for my response.

“Hi to you too.” I mumbled under my breath as I walked through the door John had left open to see Dean sprawled out on the couch. He turned to me when I closed the door and grinned.

“Hey, there’s the birthday girl!” He exclaimed, prompting Sam to run out of the bathroom, dressed and looking fresh from the shower, toothbrush in his mouth.

“Jenna! You’re here! I wanted to go to your room a while ago, but Dean told me to let you sleep. Were you sleeping?” Before I could answer him, he rushed on. “He told me you’re going to spend the day with your friend, but we’re still going to have our movie night, right? We have to have our movie night. It’s our tradition!”

“Breathe, Sam." I chuckled. “Of course we’re having movie night. It wouldn’t be a birthday without it. Now how about you go finish brushing your teeth before you start drooling on the floor.” Content with my answer, he hurried back to the bathroom, hand cupped under his chin where toothpaste bubbles were trying to drip down.

“So,” Dean drawled, getting up off the couch. “The big 16. How’s it feel?” He walked over to stand next to me and, not for the first time, I was struck with how effortlessly gorgeous he was. His hair was tousled and still slightly damp from the shower he must have taken this morning. He wore his usual jeans, t-shirt, flannel, and boots, the amulet Sam had given him hanging around his neck, but somehow, he was the most attractive guy I had ever seen. I knew it wasn’t a biased opinion, every girl in every school always drooled after him.

“I assume it feels the same as you felt a year ago.” I replied once my brain started functioning again. “You still good to take me to meet Alyssa?” I asked.

“Sweetheart, have I ever bailed on you?” He asked, mock offended.

“Well…” I trailed off, remembering the handful of times Sam and I had been left to fend for ourselves while he was off with a girl. When I saw him looking at me expectantly, I sighed. “Not when it really counted, no.” I relented.

“Did you ask her yet?” Sam questioned, reappearing from the bathroom and heading for Dean. Dean sighed and looked at me. “Is it ok with you if Sam comes with to drop you off? I don’t know why he’s even asking. I know you don’t care, but he wouldn’t leave me alone about it this morning.”

“That’s not true!” Sam denied. “He told me I could come if you said yes, and I know you usually don’t care, but since you’re 16 today I thought you might want to talk.” He stated matter-of-factly.

“Talk about what?” I asked, brow wrinkled in confusion. There’s not much Dean and I didn’t talk about in front of the kid. I don’t know why he thought there was suddenly a need for privacy or what being 16 had to do with it. “About-” he started, but then cut himself off. “I don’t know.” He continued, head down and shuffling his feet. “Just… being 16?”

I looked to Dean, hoping for some kind of explanation, but he just shrugged his shoulders, although he seemed a little annoyed. I wasn’t in the mood to press the issue though.

“Ok…. Well I don’t have any super-secret conversations that need to be had with your brother, so if you want to come along, that’s fine.” I assured Sam. 

“Good! When are we leaving?” He asked excitedly.

“If Dean’s ready, then right now would be good.” I replied, looking to Dean. He answered by shrugging on his leather jacket, plucking the keys off the table and holding the door open for me.

With everyone piled in the car, Dean started toward the mall where I was supposed to meet Alyssa. It was a typical car ride, Sam chattering away in the back, and Dean humming along to Led Zeppelin. I told Dean where to park. Alyssa wasn’t there yet, but I was content to sit and wait with the boys.

“I thought we might have to wait until tonight to give this to you, but I’m glad we don’t have to.” Sam said excitedly, pulling a box out of his jacket pocket. “It was my idea to get this kind of present for you, but Dean helped me pick it out.” He looked to his brother with a proud smile before handing the box to me.

I was a little nervous to open it. Sam was so excited that I really wanted to like whatever it was. Although he’d never say anything, I could tell Dean was a little nervous too by the way he tensed his shoulders and bit his lip. I carefully opened the box and gasped.

Inside was a bracelet made from ribbons of silk. It was twisted around so that it looked like four different strands. The top and bottom of each ribbon was an olive green while the middle was mulberry. One of the ribbons wrapped through a gold button that was used to adjust the size. I couldn’t believe something so beautiful was for me.

“I love it!” I told them as I took it out of the box to place on my left wrist. I noticed Dean’s quiet, relieved exhale and turned to hug him. “Thank you.” I whispered. He wrapped his arms around me before mumbling a quiet “You’re welcome,” into my hair.

“And thank you too!” I said, pulling away from Dean to face a fidgety, giddy looking Sam in the back. He flung his upper body over the seat to get a hug of his own. “You’re gonna have a pretty hard time topping this one.” I informed him as I sat back. Sam just grinned.

“My friend at the last school had a bracelet that she wore all the time and I asked her if that was a good idea for a 16th birthday present for you,” he explained. “She said if you like jewelry it was a good idea, and I know you like Dean's amulet, so I told him about my idea and he said we’d keep an eye out for anything you might like. There was a lot of stuff I thought you would like, but Dean kept saying they weren’t right.” I glanced at Dean and saw a slight blush gracing his freckled cheeks.

“He liked that one as soon as he saw it. I didn’t know why you’d like it any better than any of the ones I pointed out, but I know you guys know each other really well so I just told him to make sure you knew getting a bracelet was my idea,” he finished, slightly out of breath.

Before I could say anything to assure Sam I appreciated his efforts and relieve Dean of his embarrassment, there was a knock on my window. Startled, I jumped a little before facing the window where Alyssa stood waiting. Turning to look at the boys, I thanked them again for the amazing present and then opened the door to get out of the car and say hi to her. As I was closing the door, I heard Dean say my name.

“Just a second.” I said to Alyssa before opening the door again and sticking my head in. “What’s up?” I asked.

“I was just wondering when and where I should be picking you up,” he replied. “Oh, right. I didn’t even think about that.” I said, turning to Alyssa to figure out the details. “Clearly.” He teased. I looked back at him, sarcastic comment at the ready, but I saw the twinkle in his eye and knew he was just joking. I shushed him and closed the door, turning to once again face Alyssa.

“I can drive you back, it’s no problem,” she assured me. 

“Are you sure? Dean doesn’t have anything else he needs to be doing, and I know he likes to do it anyway. He’s a bit protective like that. The first time we dropped Sam off at a friend’s I thought he was going to sit outside the house the whole time.” I told her, smiling at the memory.

“It’s really no problem. I don’t have any definite plans for the day so I wouldn’t know what to tell him anyway,” she said. 

“Ok…” I trailed off, giving her one last chance to change her mind. She gave me a look, clearly stating that she wouldn’t so I passed the information on to Dean.

“You don’t even have a guess about when you’ll be done?” He asked. I knew he liked to have a timeline so if someone wasn’t back when they were expected he would know something was wrong. If he didn’t have any schedule to follow, he’d spend the whole time worrying, unsure if something had happened or we just weren’t done yet. 

“Well I have to be back in time for movie night,” I reminded him with a wink in Sam’s direction, “so I won’t be gone any later than… say 8:30? That should give us time to watch a couple of movies before Sam passes out.”

“Yeah, ok.” Dean relented, slightly less on edge. “Have fun,” he smiled. I closed the door and watched them drive off.

“Are you ready to do some shopping?” Alyssa asked with a grin.

~~~~~

“You have to have a swimsuit!” Alyssa insisted as we walked by racks of them at Kohl’s. 

“Not if you never go swimming, you don’t.” I countered.

“But what if you do go swimming? What are you going to wear then?” She argued. 

“I don’t know. I’m sure if the opportunity came up, I’d just go buy one.” I told her. 

“Then why not buy one now?” She asked.

“Because,” I sighed. “We move around a lot. We’re not exactly hitting up five-star hotels with pools or renting homes that have one. I think the last time I went swimming was when I was 12 and the house we were renting had a pond.”

“Ok, well I have a pool, it’s the middle of summer in Louisiana, and I might invite you over to swim sometime. Besides, I’m buying so you can’t really argue that much.” She said, flipping her strawberry blonde hair as she turned and pulled me towards the swimwear.

“That’s a nice bracelet,” she commented, looking at my wrist where I was half-heartedly searching through a rack of one-piece swimsuits. 

“Yeah,” I smiled. “Sam and Dean gave it to me for my birthday.”

“It’s pretty. I didn’t think boys were any good at finding decent jewelry.” She said as she moved on to the next rack. She didn’t like the one-pieces anyway and had only been humoring me, ironic since I was only humoring her about the swimsuits in general. 

“I swear Dean has some sort of sixth sense for what people will like. Well,” I corrected, “not people. But me and Sam.”

“This one! You have to try this one!” Alyssa said excitedly, breaking me out of my thoughts. I looked to where she was holding a white and blue two-piece. “I know you didn’t want a two-piece, but this isn’t a bikini. It doesn’t show much more than a one-piece would.” Seeing my hesitation, she continued. “Just try it on. If you hate it, we’ll put it back.”

“Yes!” She cheered, seeing my resignation. She handed the suit to me and led the way to the changing rooms.

It was definitely a nice-looking suit, I’d give her that much. The top piece was thick enough all the way through that there was no danger of anything showing. It had a clasp in the back and three strings to tie around my neck, two white and one robin’s egg blue. The bottom piece started like a normal bikini bottom, but thicker. Above the hips it cut in to cover only the front of my torso, leaving my back and sides exposed, and went up to the bottom of my ribs. There were three strings encircling my back, keeping the material up. It was decorated with flowers in shades of blue, and as much as I liked it – although I’d never admit it to Alyssa – I didn’t think I would be comfortable wearing it in public.

“Are you ready yet?” I heard her ask through the door.

“Kind of. I have it on, but I don’t know if I want to come out,” I admitted. 

“Come on, you can’t look that bad,” she said.

“It’s not that.” I told her. “I’m just not comfortable showing this much skin. I live in jeans, you know. The only reason I’m wearing shorts is because I might actually die from this heat.”

“Just come out. No one’s going to see you. I promise there’s no one else around,” she encouraged.

I sighed before opening the door and peering my head around. I was met with an unimpressed look. “Alright, I’m coming.” I relented. I stepped out of the changing stall and was greeted with a wolf whistle from Alyssa. “Cut it out!” I blushed.

“Why? You look great!” she exclaimed. “As much as I like that bracelet, it really doesn’t match the-” she cut off. 

“What?” I asked nervously.

“Umm… did you find your tattoo yet?”

I was a little shocked. It was an awfully personal question to be asking someone you’d only known for a couple of weeks. “No. Why?” I asked a little defensively. She nodded toward my left side where my hand was hanging by my hip. I impulsively lifted it to my face, scanning for the name. 

“Not your hand," she said.

I slowly looked down to my left side just above my hip where, just as she said, I could see the top of thick black letters peeking over the swimsuit.

~~~~~

“Alright, what’s wrong?” Dean asked, pausing the movie. We were halfway through our second movie of the night, Mission Impossible, and while I was enjoying it, I couldn’t seem to sit still. I was sat between the two boys, Dean’s arm resting on the back of the couch behind my head, our usual seating situation on movie nights. Sam was slouched over, starting to drift off. He could never seem to stay awake for more than one movie.

“What? Nothing’s wrong. Why do you think something’s wrong?” I asked him. 

“Well, you haven’t sat still for more than five minutes at a time and I can see the wheels spinning in your head. You know you can talk to me about anything right?” He sounded genuinely concerned. 

“I know,” I sighed.

“Nothing happened, right? You’ve seemed a little off since you got back.” He pushed, not for the information he knew I wasn’t ready to give, but for assurance that I was alright. 

“I’m fine,” I told him honestly. “It’s just… I found my tattoo while we were trying on clothes. I’m still trying to wrap my head around it, figure out how I feel,” I confessed.

“Oh.” Was his only response. I could tell he wanted to press for more information, but he stayed quiet.

~~~~~

“I can’t look at it. I don’t want to know what it says. What do I do?” I asked. My breath was coming faster and I was starting to panic.

“Hey. Hey! Jenna! Look at me. Deep breath.” Alyssa calmly instructed, demonstrating and breathing with me until my breathing was back to normal. “You’re going to have to see it sometime. It’s unavoidable. Right now, it doesn’t change anything. It just gives you a name. You can do whatever you want with that name once you have it. It doesn’t decide anything for you.”

I knew she was right and steeled myself to look at it, Alyssa waiting patiently. Carefully, I pushed the swimsuit strap down just enough to reveal the name underneath.

DEAN

Chapter 4