#but today has been. idk. i had a breakdown last night bc i feel like im not doing enough to make things happen | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

missmonsters2 · 3 years

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today I feel awful... idk my insecurities are taking over me and I just want to curl into a ball and cry. maybe it's my hormones maybe the fact that I weighted myself and found out I gained weight (I can't fit into my jeans 😭) and the fact that I saw my sister in a tight skin dress looking perfect while I'm in my pj's just destroyed my confidence. I need something angsty to read to make me forget about my sad, miserable lffe right now. would you be down in writing sth angsty with nat maybe? you don't have to though. it's fine either way. I really appreciate all of your work and I keep reading on repeat whenever I'm feeling down. makes me cheer up. thank you, van ❤️

It's like we're the same person because I also went to visit my sister recently and my sister has gotten her life together and is living her best hot girl bod while I...let's not go there.

I just want you to know that you're hot as fuck and a body is just a body that we can change with time and effort. We're lit rally in this together. This time next year, we will be rocking the body that makes up happy and we'll be healthy!!! 💘💘

But I will still give you nat angst...but with a happy ending bc I said you deserve a HEA!!

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The Withers of Springtime Bloom

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Summary: Spring is a time of blooming and when things come back to life. You can't help but notice things that may be causing your relationship with Natasha to wither.

Warnings: self-esteem issues, insecurities about body, relationship with working out and food, seasonal depression. angst with HEA.

Count: 2.1k~

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You're not sure when things changed.

Things change so slowly after all.

Without you noticing, things change and change and change until one day, you do notice.

You notice that Natasha has become quieter, somber.

You notice the lack of date nights and affectionate touches.

You notice that you've let yourself go a little.

You're standing in front of the mirror, staring at your body with a frown. You've gained weight since dating Natasha, but relationship weight gain was normal, wasn't it?

But you remember how Natasha was just as fit as she was before she met you. Sure, she was a superhero, and you were a regular civilian; there was no reason for you to train long hours as Natasha did.

Still...

You turn to the side and peer at yourself in the mirror again.

You can't help but wonder...were you becoming less attractive to her?

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It had been the beginning of fall when you met Natasha. You loved the season of change and when things turned into warm colors before withering away for winter to come.

Natasha had come like a blessing, and in the winter, she was just warm as the colors of fall. Instead of withering away, she bloomed and invested that warmth in your relationship with her.

Despite always being an early riser to work out, weekends were the days she stayed in bed with you just a little longer. There had been so many breakfasts, lunch, and dinner dates. You found yourself moving things around or neglecting to work around her busy schedule.

Perhaps that was when things began to change. Eating out so often and forgoing working out to spend time with Natasha was what led to this.

Spring has arrived, and things are coming back to life. Yet somehow, your relationship with Natasha was withering away.

"Hey," you greet her as you come home, shopping bags in hand. You bought some more clothes when things felt like they didn't fit comfortably anymore. The experience had been upsetting for you, and you didn't end up buying too much, telling yourself you didn't want to spend too much when you were going to lose the weight.

Natasha was working in her office, peering down over reports, and barely acknowledged you other than with a hum.

"Long day?" You ask her as you put your things away and walk over to her.

"Yeah," Natasha sighed. "Trying to get these reports done since Maria needs them tomorrow."

That had been Natasha's excuse for spending long hours in her office every night for the last two weeks.

You place your hand on Natasha's shoulder with a reassuring squeeze, but she leans to the side as if to readjust herself, but still away from your touch.

The sting immediately comes, but you try to push it down, so it doesn't hurt as bad.

"Right," you say hoarsely, but Natasha stares on at the reports. "I'm just going to get ready for bed. It's been a long day and all. Let me know if you need anything."

Natasha gives you a nod as you leave the room. You feel awkward as you lie in the bed you share with her. You wonder if you're taking up too much space.

There's a pang of something as you try to curl yourself to be smaller and only distantly realizing you've skipped dinner before you fall asleep.

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You fall back onto the mat, chest heaving and your lungs burning.

It's been a while since you've worked out, and now you're definitely paying for it with how unfit you are.

The gym is moderately empty with the hour it is. You hate going to a public gym because it always feels like someone is staring, but it's better for strangers to stare than working out at the Compound for people you know to stare at you.

The rational part of you knows that you should just talk to Natasha, but the emotional side of you whispers that you won't like what Natasha has to say, that she might even end it before you've had a chance to change yourself.

When weeks pass, and you weigh yourself again, you almost start crying because you've only lost a couple of pounds.

It's normal, you know it is. You're losing weight at a normal rate, but it's not enough. You know fast weight loss wouldn't make sense for your body but you also feel you don't have half a year to go back to your normal weight.

You sit on the bathroom floor for hours, debating what to do when you hear a quiet knock.

"Sweetheart, are you in there?" Natasha's muffled voice comes through.

You wipe at your eyes furiously as you stand up.

"Y-Yeah," you answer back. "I'm just in the tub soaking."

There's a moment of silence through the door before Natasha answers back, "Alright. Enjoy yourself. Did you want me to order anything specific for dinner?"

"No, it's okay," you tell her. "You order anything you want. I already ate on my way home." You think about the chicken salad you've been eating for the past two weeks and almost sigh.

Natasha answered that she just came back to see if you've eaten, but she actually had to head back to the Compound. You were Natasha shuffling around before leaving through the front door, and you let out the breath you were holding.

You actually take a long, hot shower before putting on sweats and a big hoodie.

The truth was, you were hungry. The chicken salad was okay on the way home, but it had been a couple of hours since.

You knew starving yourself wasn't the answer, so you went into the kitchen to see if you could find something healthy to hold you over until you could go to bed.

But you can't find anything in the fridge except for Natasha's leftovers from whatever she ordered the day before. You can't find anything except frozen pizzas and microwavable foods.

You check the calories on the back and let out a frustrated sigh. Checking your watch, you realize it's too late in the evening to go grocery shopping because, by the time you get there, stores will have closed.

You slump down on the floor, leaning against the cabinets as you let out a pathetic whimper while your eyes became hot with tears.

You miss Natasha. You want Natasha holding you and telling you it would be okay. But you couldn't have that until you were back to what you were when you met her.

The front door suddenly opens.

"Have you seen my—sweetheart?" Natasha started to call before she noticed you sitting on the floor. "What's wrong?"

You use your sleeve to wipe at your eyes as you sit up straight.

"Nothing," you sniffle before you start to stand. "I just stubbed my toe against the edge of the kitchen island. What were you looking for? USB? You left it next to the bedside."

Natasha stares at your back, hair still wet as she takes in your attire.

"It's a little hot to be wearing a hoodie and sweats, isn't it?" Natasha asks softly. "Doesn't seem like you turned on the aircon in here."

You keep walking, but Natasha starts to follow you.

"'m cold," you say quietly so she can't hear the tremble in your voice.

"Are you feeling sick?" Natasha asks with concern as you sit down on the couch, turning on the TV. You pull the blanket over you as if to make your point.

"No," you tell her because you don't want her to worry. "Just cold after a bath."

Natasha sets her things down before she takes a seat next to you. Even in the low lighting, she can see your eyes rimmed red and dampness of them.

You're refusing to look at her as you have your knees drawn up to your chest and stare stubbornly at the TV screen.

Then she hears it.

Your stomach grumbles.

"Are you hungry, sweetheart?" Natasha asks softly again. "We can just order food and stay in tonight."

Your cheeks grow hot. "Don't you have to be at the Compound?"

You don't mean to snap at her, but you can't help but feel embarrassed.

Natasha remains quiet for a moment, quickly thinking over the last few weeks before she feels guilt trickle in.

She doesn't remember the last time she ate with you—doesn't remember the last time she saw you eat.

"Sweetheart," she calls you gently again, and you bristle at the tone. "Is there something wrong?"

The fragile dam you've built to keep the weeks of compiling emotions at bay breaks, and you're hurtling down the stream over the waterfall.

"Are you not in love with me anymore?" You choke out as you begin to cry.

You can't even register to feel horrified at your breakdown because you just need to know.

"I know...I know my body has changed since we first met and I've gained weight but I really am trying to lose it. I just—I feel like you're avoiding me. At first, I thought things at work have been really stressful for you, and I wanted to give you space but you're gone all the time. You're gone even when you're here."

Natasha can barely understand anything you've said after hearing you say the first part. Her breath hitches painfully in the back of her throat, and she legitimately feels appalled at herself.

She starts to say something, but you keep going.

"I'm sorry, I don't want to make this about me because if you're going through something then I want to support and be there for you. But I can't help but feel like you're grossed out by me. I mean—I feel grossed out when I look at myself. I feel like I'm taking up so much space—"

Natasha cuts you off abruptly, pulling off the blanket as she pulls at you until you're in her lap.

"Nat—"

"You're not gross and this is not about the weight you have or have not gained. You hear me?" Natasha says forcefully as she holds you close to her, hand over your thigh to keep you against her.

"God, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry if I've been making you feel like you're not attractive me," Natasha's eyes well up as your tears wet her shoulder. "You're literally still the most gorgeous person I've ever met and you're always going to be that to me."

Natasha's hand at your waist dips underneath your hoodie, her fingers trailing up your back as she sighs at your warmth. "I should've told you, but the springtime is just really hard for me. It's odd because it's a time for things to come back to life but some of the worst things have happened to me during the spring and things blooming makes me think about things that aren't coming back. I think it's also just a little bit of seasonal depression too. I'm just the rare percentage that gets it in the spring."

The explanation makes your body sag with relief because while you feel so horrible that there is a reason Natasha doesn't like spring, she's not falling out of love with you.

"I'm sorry, I didn't realize that I was hurting you," Natasha apologizes again. "I didn't mean to be so distant but I didn't want to bring your mood down as well, which is why I've been working so much to keep busy."

"It's okay," you muttered as your turn your head, forehead pressed against her neck. "I'm sorry spring is depressing for you."

Natasha merely hushes you as she kisses the side of your head.

You begin to feel awkward, thinking about how you must be heavy on her and try to move, but Natasha doesn't let you.

"Sweetheart, I don't know how to convince you that you're perfect to me," Natasha says so seriously as she forces you to look at her. "If you want to lose weight because that is what you want, then I support you. But I need you to understand that I love you no matter what. I don't care either way because you're so fucking lovely to me always. Do you understand?"

Timidly, you reply, "Okay. Thank you."

Natasha presses her lips against yours in a long kiss before she pulls back.

"Now, I'm going to ask again. Are you hungry? We can order in and watch that new show on Netflix I heard was pretty good from Wanda."

You feel lighter. You think you might still want to work out because that would make you happy, but you don't feel the rush like you did just a couple of hours ago.

"Yeah," you say shyly. "But maybe something not so heavy?"

Natasha nods as she presses another kiss into your cheek as she helps you settle onto the couch right beside her to grab her phone.

"Anything to make you bloom."

#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff x you #natasha romanoff x y/n #natasha romanoff angst #natasha romanoff imagine #natasha romanoff fanfic #natasha romanoff oneshot #black widow x reader #black widow x you #black widow imagine #avengers imagine #avengers x reader #mm: my fics #g.angst #g.fluff

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shu-sakamaki · 3 years

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Hello Shu-san and Admin!

Sorry to bother you but I think I’m going through mental breakdown again and I really need someone to talk to.

I am a nursing student and recently because of my classes I’m going through so much stress. I have to take care of my younger siblings on top o f that and my parents are not the responsible type. Yesterday I finally finish my midterm for one biology class and I was so happy I really wanted to go to sleep early since I haven’t been sleeping for weeks (literally barely made it pass 10hours a week). I’m so stressed out and tired but I also have sleeping issues. Last night I came home from the test and I found out no one cooked or even left any dinners for me. I was so stressed and tired taht really just made my day downhill. And then at night decided I am going to sleep early but my parents friends who came to visit and kicked my sibling to sleep in my room (I also have trouble sleeping with other people makes my whole body hurts) was so loud and I had enough of it as it not only kept me awake but also my younger sibling woke up. I got up at 3 am and I told them to either let me take my sleeping pills and sleep (my parents won’t let me) or tone it down a little. I have class at 8 am the next day. Then my parents, after I got home from class at 8pm today did not cook dinner again and they also told me I have a bad attitude. It’s like they’re telling me it’s ok for me to die from lack of sleep or smt and that they don’t care because they felt that I was disrespecting them (as much as they were disrespecting my space, sleep, and life) and that I made them lose face. Not only that, they’re friend uses my stuff and crossed my personal space AKA my room multiple times and I haven’t said anything I don’t understand was it wrong for me to tell the to be quiet so I can live? They all know I have sleep issues and that I haven’t been able to sleep for weeks. Idk it makes me feel stressed, tired, and really disappointed in the way they think. It’s like they don’t even care about and whenever I open my mouth to say something they always say that I have bad attitude and stuff it’s really getting on my nerves.

(My friends has also told me to stop babysitting my siblings Bc they r old enough but I always gets worried about them since my parents are never with us really and I took care of them myself since like forever. Before I move I had my grandparents, now I don’t have anyone that can help me)

(I’m so sorry for how much I’m ranting u can disregard this if u want, I just need someone to talk to)

((I'm really not capable of helping anyone when it is about living with stress and multiple responsibilities, because that has been something normal for me.

((But all in all, I guess you should listen to your friends, and stop taking care of your siblings as if you're their parents. You're not.

((You're their sibling, not their parent. You can help in the basic and minimal. But it is not your responsibility to fulfill the role of a parent for them.

((Ofc I'm saying this because I imagine your siblings are not, like... Babies/Newborns.

((And I do can understand that even if that is normal for me, it is not for some. So, I think you should respect your limit first, and listen to your friends. They're closer to you and your reality so I'm sure they can give you better advice than me ^^'' I'm sorry.

#Ask #Admin

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transsexualhamlet · 3 years

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sherlock holmes reactions part 4 (?) ive lost count already but unsurprisingly ive grown even more attached to him

using this as the cover image because i made him a playlist. cause im awful

no legit this is gonna need a read more because it's SO LONG SHIHEWIESHEFSHIEWHF

Had three mental breakdowns this week and realized i do in fact kin sherlock motherfucking holmes. this does not bode well for anything in my life mentally I've diagnosed him with so many things

Oh boy lol you want the list I think hes autistic (undisputed honestly) plus also adhd but on top of that there's the manic depression and uhhh the bpd lmao I dont even think that's it those are just. the obvious ones

But yeah man's a fucking mess and a shit person but in the same way as me so 👍

Some highlights I thought were very funny:

watson: we are in fact going to be waltzing into a place where people are Shooting People you do not have your gun. this is a problem

sherlock: don't worry watson I have my trusty stick!

watson: visible pain

This clearly happens like every day or so with them

but yeah there were some really honestly sweet scenes with them at the apartment and why am i getting soft over the crusty man being gay

have you considered tho. have you considered them

have you considered sherlock, who usually only plays absolute garbage on his violin serenading watson to sleep when he was tired and in pain and watson being so fucking in love with the man and waxing poetic about falling asleep to his music and waking up to see him fallen asleep on the couch next to him and oh my god them

They're just really sweet together for such a completely dysfunctional couple so much of the time lol I just. Sherlock being like.

Sherlock half of the time: watson you're fucking stupid. no i won't take care of my personal needs stfu. watson get a goddamn life. watson shut up. watson no one cares about your goddamn opinion. no i need to disturb you in the middle of the night it's for science. hey watson mind if i manipulate mansplain malewife

Sherlock the other half of the time: HELLO SIR YOU ARE MY FAVORITE MAN TO EVER MAN HELLO MAY I SPEND THE REST OF MY DAYS WITH YOU HELLO I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOU WE ARE PERFECT MATCHES I LOVE YOU AND I NEED YOU YOURE SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME PLEASE MARRY ME

They're... they certainly are.

ALSO OH MY GOD.

THIS ONE TIME WHEN SHERLOCK WAS JUST PACING AROUND THE ROOM AT 3 AM GOING "IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE >:(((" AND HUDSON LIKE BARGED IN TO COMPLAIN AND THEN WATSON WAS LIKE DUDE YOU GOTTA STOP DOING THIS AND PROCEEDS TO SAY THE LINE "YOU ARE KNOCKING YOURSELF UP, OLD MAN"

BAHGHSFHGRHEWHEWHIFEW

BRB SOBBING

CALLING HIM AN OLD MAN???? KNOCKING HIMSELF UP?? I DONT KNOW WHATS FUNNIER

The main highlight of this part was I have now gotten to see him have a great time watching his homo homie get married

Its so fucking funny.......

I was prepared for a funny reaction by yuumori sherlock's face when he said it lol but. Damn i was really not prepared tbh

watson: I'm engaged!

sherlock: *pained groaning*

watson: do you... not like her?

sherlock: no she's fine she's great you'll be wonderful together bUT I HATE IT WHEN PEOPLE ARE HETEROSEXUAL WATSON DO I HAVE TO MARRY MYSELF THEN WATSON? ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE ME MARRY MYSELF.

watson: yeah... yeah... fair, I feel really bad because you did this whole case and I got a girlfriend out of it and all you got was me leaving you alone fuck man im sorry what are you gonna do without me

sherlock, highly sarcastic: dont worry watson I've always got my handy cocaine! *pulls it out and gets high in front of watson just as he's about to leave*

watson: *in fucking agony*

sherlock: good for you!

I DONT EVEN- THIS SCENE KILLED ME MULTIPLE TIMES OVER WHAT

ITS SO GODDAMN NONCHELANT ABOUT IT SHERLOCK IS JUST LIKE YEAH I WILL IN FACT NOT BE MENTALLY HEALTHY IF YOU ARE NOT WITH ME 24/7 BUT WHATEVER YOU DO YOU /S

I'd like to apologize to watson on sherlock's behalf lmao. man is being a bit too codependent on main

The last thing about sign of four I do need to address is yeah, there's the Horrific Amounts Of Racism in that one and the whiplash hearing it is just ridiculous because they seem to be so knowledgeable in all other areas and fairly... politically correct, taking sherlock's original misogyny as a purposeful character flaw, but then they just mention someone indigenous once and suddenly its all parrotting racist propaganda and just... really awful shit. There's no way I'm gonna speak for the group that just got absolutely hate crimed here but anyone can tell the author just has no clue what he's fucking talking about and it's physically painful.

And I don't know, it's just so bad it seems out of character? Doyle's making these motherfuckers say shit that honestly, Sherlock would know better about. And especially Watson. Come on, you cannot tell me watson is mentally capable of being prejudiced against someone. Please do not make him that way.

I'm not sure how to handle it specifically, or what's the proper way I should handle something like that in a media I otherwise like. Is it ok to say Doyle was clearly a piece of shit on the matter and separate those characters from his bias or is that insensitive?

I don't know, I was Not a fan of it and I'm glad to see they've at least finally shut up about the guy

But anyway yeah, uhhhh onto the short stories because I'm trying to read those before I get to the final problem

Scandal in Bohemia was a fucking ride, first of all, before we even get to Sherlock's girlboss arc we have to discuss how gay the whole situation was and how Doyle's attempt at making them less gay failed spectacularly

Like he's all "ah yes I need to marry off watson and uhhh make sherlock ummmm interact with a woman so they dont look gay" but he does it SO BADLY that it makes them look EVEN GAYER

cause i mean, even the conversation they had about watson getting married back in sign of four was gay af, but how Doyle handled things afterward was in no way straighter.

Cause you know, the man kind of wrote himself into a corner with the fact of Watson narrating these stories. So Watson has to be around to witness them, and to witness Sherlock's own thought process rather privately, so he has to be around sherlock at night, a lot. But trying to come up with a reason for that happening just... it didn't occur to Doyle. He just went. Ah yes this makes sense. And it's Watson just like Sleeping Over At Sherlock's like every other goddamn day and every time his wife leaves town and having them basically still live that cute domestic home life but they have absolutely no excuses for doing it anymore. It's quite funny

Like it was gay already the way they interacted when they officially lived together but it was like, a necessity for them. Now it's not, Watson just comes over because he goddamn wants to, and it's hilarious to me.

LIKE IDK I THINK THEY KIND OF BROKE UP FOR A YEAR OR SO BC OF WATSON GETTING MARRIED AND THEY LIKE DONT HAVE CONTACT WITH ONE ANOTHER BUT ONE DAY WATSON JUST INEXPLICABLY HAS THE URGE TO COME VISIT SHERLOCK ON NO NOTICE AND THEN SUDDENLY THEY ARE TOGETHER NEAR 24/7 AGAIN LIKE BARELY ANYTHING CHANGED AHIEHOEWH

SIT DOWN AND TRY TO TELL ME THOSE ARE NOT HOMOSEXUALS

Watson walks in on no fucking notice after a full year and Sherlock is just. In the middle of some experiment obviously but hes like

Sherlock, carrying around unidenfiable chemical mixtures: W A T S O N you look good you look good! i see you've gained seven pounds!!

watson: uh. thanks??? Hey lol *awkwardly waves* Uh um Wanted to Uhm sEe you

Sherlock: ABOUT gODDAMN TIME AND YES WONDERFUL LOOK LOOK SIT DOWN I HAVE THINGS TO INFODUMP ABOUT

watson: :) ok :) *turns to camera* and we were back to the old days

sherlock: makes a deduction

watson: wowwwwwwwwwwww !! so true bestie !!

sherlock: !!!!!!!!! :))) !!!!! :))) uh fuck im supposed to be smooth Its Elementary Lol

watson: *turns to camera* when i stroke his ego like this and compliment him he blushes like a girl like i just complimented his dress so i do it more because he likes it. this is a homie trait

watson: well i should probably get going! my wife will notice that i am gone my dear buddy bro homie!

sherlock: NO DONT LEAVE IM LOST WITHOUT YOU (pretty much a direct quote lol) your. wife doesn't. get back home until monday. I know this because I am smart and definitely have not been stalking you.

watson: alright :)))))

AND THEN HE FUCKING SLEEPS OVER LMAO FUCKING HOMOS

So yeah they're right back where they were before pretty much and there's a case bc of course there is

And honestly I think this short story specifically was so insane mostly just because of how absolutely fast it all went. Yuumori kind of made me believe the original Irene Adler was more of an important character than she really is? And I think that's. Honestly so funny. Motherfucker shows up for ten pages, girlbosses her way around town, and changes sherlock's entire opinion of the female gender while still keeping him gay?

LIKE NO LOL SHES NOT IN ANY WAY A LOVE INTEREST AND WATSON GOES OUT OF HIS WAY TO SPECIFY THE FACT THAT IN NO WORLD WOULD THEY HAVE BEEN ROMANTICALLY INVOLVED BECAUSE. SHERLOCK. DIDN'T DATE WOMEN.

HE WAS JUST??? SO IMPRESSED AND SHELL SHOCKED BY HER EXISTENCE HE DECIDED IT WAS TIME FOR GIRLBOSS APPRECIATION DAY TODAY AND ALL DAYS HENCEFORTH???

AND THEY HAVE LIKE O N E INTERACTION?? God, the power this woman(?) has. Watson looks at her once like. damb shawty 😳 and she's like "no<3" and he's like FUCK

Like yeah it's pretty much just the king walking up like "help girl the whore is blackmailing me" and sherlock being like "ok lol this will be easy" and then it proceeded to not in fact be easy or even possible

sherlock like... posed as a dead body and tried to get her to give up the location of the photo but she out-acted him and skipped the town the next day after doing the 'good night mr. sherlock holmes' thing with sherlock completely tricked

and she just. sends a letter like "dear sherlock holmes. you're a fucking idiot and i think it's funny that you lost. nice job tho mad respect" and sherlock just SHORT CIRCUITS

the king comes back a bit later like "hey Dude where's my Photo" and sherlock's like oh yeah uhhhhhhhhhhh about that and the king is like HOW COULD IT POSSIBLY HAVE BEEN THAT GODDAMN HARD i would have dated someone more noble if she wasn't so pretty i swear im on a whole different level from her

and then. GIRLBOSSIFIED SHERLOCK HOLMES RESPONDS "from what I have seen of the lady, she seems indeed to be on a very different level from your majesty" ABSEHHESHEFHHFES ROASTED

and the dude just LEAVES

After that I read a few more of the short stories and well the highlights I got from that pretty much were these conversations

Watson: sherlock. honey. have you. eaten anything today

Sherlock: IT DIDNT OCCUR TO ME DEAR WATSON

Watson: ITS FIVE PM

and:

Sherlock: *having one of his Moment Moments at three in the goddamn mornig* GRRRR CRIME ISNT WHAT IT USED TO BE

Watson: MY DEAR SHERCOCK WHAT IS CRIME S U P P O S E D TO BE LIKE ACCORDING TO YOU

Sherlock: no one's original anymore fucking copycats

Watson: so you want the criminals to make things harder for you specifically.

Sherlock, exasperated: yes!

I love them your honor.

#rowan's hyperfixation essays #rowan screams into the void #rowan views moriarty #sherlock holmes

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caphayzardous · 4 years

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honestly... relieved to say that I’m feeling pretty good now that I am moved here, 3/4 unpacked and making this space fucken killer.

I knew it’d be a bit better once I just got it done, the impending severage from ‘home’ was destroying me? but now its like Done and making my room here Home has gone very surprisingly well. just like... this room has so many shelf space that my entire apartment (no shelves) fits in it, so the size/space issue isn’t as bad as I feared. it’s all gone a lot better than I expected. Having the LEDs light strip up makes a difference too, it doesn’t have the sickly sorta yellow-light-on-blue-walls thing that was both unpleasant in general and also overly-familiar, settin up my cool lights (mostly switchin between pink, purple, n blue) makes it like a ‘present-day Bri Space’ calming to be in. I also scooped some drawers out of tthe cupboard to repurpose the space as a desk and get my speakers in, so that’s when I was like, ‘true return to form’ about all of htis. it’s like really,,, in the last few days this room has become cooler than my apartment ever got to, and expresses like... character. and, and,

my bro is like annoying in some regards (as siblings must be, even when you get along...) BUT they n their partner have made dinner enough for me the last few nights, including yesterday they made burritos so good I could have cried, and I had leftovers of it today adn again was like what in the fuck this is so goddamn good. and my mums also like, bought some food for me and (eg: right now) made vegetables enough for me when shes cookin for her and hey boyf, so. thats been like really good for the adjustment period if I’d been responsible for buying my own food /thinking of meals this last week... just wouldnae have happened lmao. cohabitation has irked me a few times already but not having to make my own dinner every night fffar outweighs that haha... even if it’s just for now.

I’m not sleeping much rn but that’s mostly been by choice, I stayed awake for 40 hours the other day/s, and awake late/up early last night too. I’ve just like... gotta power through sorting my stuff and space out, and it keeps going late into the night, then I practice the bass at like lmao 4am or something because I refuse to miss practice haha. Idk I also just am determined to power through and stay on top of things because I really fear becoming ‘complacent’ again and the ease of living since moving makes that seem real possible, yeahah. like. I’m gonna rest when it’s sorted hahah I will allow myself that but y’;know.

so, yeah. really relieved and grateful. and like. feeling positive about the future now that i’m like, “ah good I have a Bri Space here so I wont be in Spatial Hell every day”. yes I am also feeling maybe uhh like... bashful(? or just stupid?) about how hm viscerally upset I’ve been in the lead-up to this, to the point of recent outright depressive relapse but uhh. well. it’s kind of only NOT gone badly because I’m putting in a lot of effort each day (ok and bc of the dinner thing hah) so there’s that. and it may yet become hell lmao probably i will still be having breakdowns if I am asked about my future At All. anyway t\hough. relieved it’s going well. yeah.

#caphaytext

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isitthescreaming20syet · 6 years

Note

Do all the numbers you coward

– disclaimer: i did this at like late at night o’clock, while trying to avoid my fourth breakdown that hour. and i didn’t have my glasses on. so . if there’s any spelling errors that i didn’t catch, let me know.–

ok cool. imma just pick a post and go at it then.

1. what colour are you’re eyes?

Usually they’re like a green/brown ig?

2. do you like your name? why?

Yes, I love my name. I picked it myself with the help of some of my friends. It comes from a couple different book characters who are both super strong physically and emotionally and they’re honestly an inspiration to me.

3. what is your relationship status?

…. single as fuck man. Is it too much to ask for a guy who is sweet and not pushy and bigger than me so I can steal his hoodies and be swamped in them??

4. describe your personality in 3 words or less

“another fucking breakdown??”

5. what colour hair do you have?

currently a really gross red, (well I think it’s gross but i just don’t like reds) but on Thursday I finally re-dye it and im gonna go green!!

6. how would you describe your style?

either I pull smth out of the drawer in the morning and hope it goes together, or I spend three weeks planning it.

7. what size bed do you have?

P sure it’s a queen? my dog manages to take up half of it and he’s the size of a bread loaf.

8. any siblings?

Ye, two half sisters!!

9. favourite t.v. show?

The Umbrella Academy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10. describe your dream date

uhhhhh, smth outside? like a picnic. at night, but with plenty of lights. and star gazing!!!! bc spACE!!!

11. what colour socks are you wearing?

uh… one crew that’s white and purple and one ankle that blue and white….

12. how many pillows do you sleep with?

trick question!! I don’t sleep with pillows. I use throw/travel blankets and stuffed animals. I do have two pillows on my bed, but they’re for my dog to sleep on.

13. do you have a job? what do you do?

I do! I just started a week or so ago and I make drinks! ISTG IF SOMEONE ORDERS ONE MORE GODDAMN MINI SLUSHI IM GONNA KILL A MAN.

14. how many friends do you have?

hhhhh, i think i have abt 0. but in reality i probably have 10ish actual friends?

15. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

I’ve done plenty of shitty things but im not in a good place to answer this one rn.

16. what’s your favourite candle scent?

Another trick question! i despise candles and nearly anything that has a smell. good or bad.

17. three favourite boy names?

Klaus bc my boiiiiiiiiii

Ethan istg anyone i know irl brings this up you will regret it

Ashton

18. three favourite girl names?

ooooo boyyy,

Claire

Isabella (spanish pronounciation obv)

Vanya bc yk i had to make another reference but also it’s rlly pretty and just look at it!!

19. who is your celebrity crush?

ik it’s basic but cole sprouse is the first one that comes to mind.

20. do you read a lot? what’s you favourite book?

yes I read all the time bc reADING IS GOOD @dodo-likes-to-tumbl

my favourite book is probably Six of Crows.

21. top 10 favourite songs?

hhhooooohhhhhhhhkkkayyyyy not really any particular order:

1) Istanbul by They Might be Giants

2) Roaring 20s by P!atD

3) I Wait by Day6

4) Monster by EXO

5) Choke by IDKHBTFM

6)Tempo by EXO

7) Awkward Silence by Stray Kids

8) Chained Up by VIXX

9) Singularity by BTS

10) Get Cool by Stray Kids

22. What is your biggest fear?

another one that im not able to answer at this time.

23. What’s your go to hairstyle/

Literally don’t have one. I get out of bed, get dressed, and go to school. I don’t do anything.

24. who is your role model?

Idk. I don’t really have one. I really look up to my sister, Ella, a lot.

25. what was the last compliment you received?

idk, the most recent one I remember was my moms friends mom was going on about my hair colour even though I hate it and we were literally standing by the hair dye in walmart looking at new colours when she walked up and interrupted.

26. What was the last text you sent?

Confirming smth for a talent show group im gonna be a part of.

27. How old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? (if this is a shock or a spoiler for you, you’re either wayyy too young for this site or wayy too stupid)

I was probably about 5 or 6? I had a lot of cousins who were older than me who liked to spoil things. I was able to convince my parents I still believed until I was about 11 tho.

28. what is your dream job?

Dream job? I thought I’d be dead in the trunk of a car by now!!

not really, but uhh idk

29. how many pictures do you have on your phone?

Idfk? five years worth ig?

30. have you ever peed in the woods?

Wtf kinda question is this? but yeah when I was younger. like 4-7 ish maybe?

31. Do you still watch cartoons?

Tbh not nearly as often as I’d like. I love Gravity Falls and I wanna get into Steven Universe, though from what I’ve seen it’s not a cartoon it’s art.

32. Favourite dipping sauce?

33. What do you wear to bed?

Sweat pants and a hoodie

34. Have you ever won a spelling bee?

Nah mate. I can’t spell for shit.

35. what are your hobbies?

crying in the dark instead of doing my hw.

36. tea or coffee?

yes

37. are you going to change your last name when you get married?

hah “when”! idk if I do get married I’ll probably hyphenate or steal my sisters idea and do some sort of mash up of the last names, kinda like a ship name.

38. do you believe in ghosts?

meh

39. what’s your biggest pet peeve?

People

40. the last person you called?

I facetimed @panickingposters

41. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles?

hah GAY

42. what shirt are you wearing?

damn another trick question! I’m wearing my PFTW Tour hoodie.

43. what is your phone background?

lock screen is FoB lyrics - “ I love the world, i just don’t love the way it makes me feel”

and home screen is a space edit of the trans flag.

44. do you like it when ppl play with your hair?

As long as they do it right @goodmorningchicago

45. have you ever been drunk?

no but i wish i was

46. favourite lyrics rn?

“Like awkward silence..

caw

caw”

47. summer or winter?

autumn

48. day or night?

sleep during the day, everything else at night

49. dark, milk or white chocolate?

k first of all? white chocolate isn’t even fucking chocolate. so that ones out.

second, milk chocolate is just sugar and milk. also out

Dark it is!!

50. who was the last person you cried in front of?

My therapist earlier today

#long post #this was.. fun #only took me 40 min.. but thats fine lol

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thankyoumskobayashi · 6 years

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happy 10th anniversary to the day my dad found my cats on the side of the road

i have thought alot of times abt what id do if i met the person who left them there. probably punch that person for being a dumb jerk. but if it werent for them leaving blossom on the side of the road, my depression could easily have taken a turn for the worst during middle/high school. my floof merr has been my reason for living, even moreso than spite. now im at a place where im enjoying life a little and learning sorta how to be an adult. i'd probably thank whoever dropped my cats off but also punch them for being a jerk.

anyways, my point is that if you don't believe in yourself, or you hate your life, find something to live for. Anything, no matter how unimportant others may deem it. for me, my love for my cat and desire to make sure she's happy overrode my depressed thought. treatment was definitely a step in that, but if you can't find that find blogs abt coping with depression in everyday life and read as much as you can. after my diagnoses i read a lot from other people with depression anxiety and adhd. maybe this helps others too idk

rember too that change doesnt always happen right away either. we are constantly changing ourselves and reinventing ourselves, and it is exhausting to make the conscious choice, again and again, to be a better person. but it is a necessary one because otherwise society remains stagnant.

and stagnating things cause breakdowns and decay.

good luck in finding yourselves, and your companions throughout the journey of life. i may not be a psychologist but i can listen if you need someone to, and i can reblog that list of suicide hotlines bc your life is worth too much. im crying right now actually bc a kid in my hometown khs, probably due to not being believed over mental health issues. people "not believing in" mental illness gets me so fucking pissed off bc this shit matters! it's not little things that people complain abt, it's the small symptoms of a much larger, and much more malevolent whole which moves through the mind like a hurricant. it destroys so much of your functioning and leaves you struggling to swim in the productive direction against the current of a deeper and stronger force.

being ridiculously persistent, as adhd folks tend to be, is probably also another reason i'm here. i love my friends too much to ever let them suffer like that, so i'd hold on to the point of walking through hell and back. in that way i found the hyperfocus i wield like a double edged sword and honed the loyalty i have always developed. i love my old friends, and i love my new friends, and i'm just so goddamn happy to be having friends on this planet. i dont need a romance, because i love myself enough to not need one for validation. i think that having a relationship when you are not really into someone else as much as they are into you would feel very weird. kinda like early marina & the diamonds being in a relationship. i don't know.

why the hell am i telling you all this? because it is a stream of conscious and i am allowing you unfiltered access to my inner thoughts because these are the only thoughts i have had or will ever have at this moment at this time. and because people in the future may look back on them to see what is relevant to history. and in my case i will say that i hate donald trump, i had a great dream last night that he died of a heart attack, and they were debating whather to put his secondary prez as the next in line bc they expected p*nce to do such a horrible job too.

we need to help the environment and in order to do that we need to limit the pollution companies can create. everywhere. all across the globe. it would take huge efforts. the leaders would probably be assassinated anonymously by the ceos of huge megacorps which steal billions from the workers. we need to create huge amts of inertia, so how do we do that??? education.

we need to teach abt environmentalism. we need to teach it like it is a basic tenet of humanity to care about it, at levels that challenge & excite kids instead of bore them. this is my poetics and i guess im spelling it out now that im tipsy bc i havewords flowing from my mind. i have to go get my charger hold on. its an external battery pack that my overly controlling mother had me put in her purse this mornig. the song "hotline, hotline.... calling on the hotline to your love" has been stuck in my head for a lot of the day today and i hate it. today i was the magic carpet operator it was really cold. i hate the magic carpet for being so cold but there was a squad of 5 kids today who got a big kick out of riding the magic carpet to the top, then taking the stairs back down again. it wasnt malicious or anything it was fun and gave me smth to do other than stand coldly thinking abt how cold i was.

the woodstove hoever is very warm and i am tired and need to use the bathroom before i bring my cat upstairs to watch guardian & possibly even kamen rider kuuga before falling asleep. oh and dont forget to brush teeth before u pass out too. good night everyone. this is who i have found myself to be now. so, who are you?

#suicide tw #depression tw #personal writing #encouragement #this house has a Poetics #this house being me

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shinyworld · 3 years

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ok story time im still 27 but ive been hanging out with a lot of 30 somethings lately and its crazy how u can literally see some of them already wasted by years of alcohol or substance abuse and they start making no sense even when sober. last night this girl (idk if she was drunk or coked up but she had to be on something) asked me which countries have i visited and how did i get to college since i told her i came from a public school. said she was sooo lucky because she has travelled around the world. started her calling her bf a fucking idiot in front of everyone. he was also a rich kid but you could tell was really ashamed lmao..... there were a couple of awkward silences. i was polite but shocked like she said that with no shame....... ive met rich drunk ppl before but nothing like this. i left a little early bc i was high and getting annoyed bc she was killing my vibe!!! well today the friend who invited me told me i missed her mental breakdown bc they ended up asking her ass to leave and she started screaming and calling my friend a communist and what else. i feel like its a warning from my guardian angels to stay away from drug abuse. anyways rich people are unreal. also she was an anti vaxxer

#january has been unbelievable #ive been hallucinating the whole month

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diaryofanormalkid · 4 years

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I’m sad.

Pretty sure it’s a combo of me being on my period, getting seasonal affective depression and my preexisting depression as a side effect of ADHD burnout, guilt, shame etc.

But yeaaah I’ve truly been hella in my feelings this week. Today it hits hard bc weekends are usually really hard for me anyways. I always have a hard time taking care of myself.

Idk what it is about weekends that make me so helpless and careless. Maybe it’s because I don’t have to go anywhere, I have no desire to do anything but rest and recover.

That includes not caring about hygiene either, unfortunately. I haven’t showered since Thursday night since I skipped last night. Haven’t brushed my teeth since 6am.

And that was only because I woke up out of my sleep from being so hot and forgetting I didn’t brush my teeth before I fell asleep last night. So I did that and went straight to sleep.

Idk today been pretty much a bust bc I haven’t done anything productive. Only ate one ~real~ meal today so I’m starving, but dinner is ready so I think I’ll go eat soon.

I’m just very moody and would rather not be around anyone rn but my mom keeps bothering me by coming into my room and asking if “I’m feeling it” it meaning depressed.

Can’t you tell miss? It’s like no, I guess she’s never been able to tell. That’s the problem. Bc I don’t communicate but she also can’t just read my emotions if I don’t tell her anything.

I’m not sure why I expect people to be able to help me when I don’t express that I’m feeling like crap when I’m feeling like crap. I would think from my actions it’s pretty obvious.

But I guess after 23 of acting like I have mood swings, they’ve never been able to tell. So why do I assume just bc I had my breakdown way back in May and explained it, they can now?

My mood is very genuinely: disappointed but not surprised. It’s like I always knew even if I opened up, they’d never support me or be able to help me in the ways I need.

But I also am not doing anything to help myself when I don’t open up to them. I guess it’s my fault. But also I feel like they never learned anything from what I told them.

This is why I explained to my mom that there’s only a little sense of relief because they still don’t understand me or try to understand me. I still am being neglected like before.

So it’s almost like nothing changed except me just deciding to be happier and have a positive attitude about things. And that can only take me so far if no one else is helping.

It just still feels like I’m alone and no one is there to fully understand or support me bc they don’t get it. They don’t know what’s in my head, which is the loneliest feeling.

They’ll never understand my struggle of feeling like you will never get past the point of not being able to function by myself. I just feel like I’m so behind. I won’t get anywhere.

Do you know how much it hurts to not be able to do basic tasks everyday because of the way your brain is wired? It’s literally the most tiring, draining, upsetting and frustrating thing ever.

And then feeling like if you explained it to your family, they would just try to give you tips to counteract it or tell you, it’s something you can get past with only God.

My mom when I told her I for sure have ADHD almost dismissed it. It’s like she acknowledged it for 0.2 seconds bc she saw I broke down and it made me upset, then moved past it.

She moved right on because she thinks God can just take it away like it hasn’t been a part of my life for 23 years. And I tried to explain to her yes I believe He can, but is He meant to?

Like bc He made me this way. I don’t believe He made a mistake. But she’s making it seem like it’s a problem that needs to be fixed by Him. And I’m trying to explain what if that wasn’t His intention?

She’s so stuck on the fact that she wants me to get past it and be done with it. And I don’t think that’s something that can just be fixed and done.

I know God heals and God restores. But that’s not the kind of support I need rn. I need you to acknowledge this is something that I’ve struggled with MY WHOLE LIFE.

Has set me back so many times for so many different things without me even knowing I had it. I’m sorry if I’m having a hard time getting over it, but it’s affected me in so many ways.

I can’t just get over it that easily! I’m offended that she thinks I can. Bc everyday I realize more and more how it has and does affect me and how very real it has always been.

And she likes to just think it’s going to ~go away~ suddenly. She isn’t supportive of me taking meds either so it’s like... what is the solution bc it doesn’t get cured just treated.

She skipped a step by trying to ask how can we ~fix~ this as if it’s something that has a cure. First of all if you’ve done any research, you’ll realize it’s not something that can be cured.

So then she’s asking ME what I want to do about it to help myself and I’m like IDK if I did, I don’t think we’d be in this mess, now would we? Like you already declined the meds suggestion.

Like it’s the emotional unavailability for me. You tell me to open up but when you do, it’s always you suggesting solutions or saying you struggled with this too or dismissing me.

Sometimes I just need you to listen, be there and hear what I’m SAYING. This is what I’m STRUGGLING with. There doesn’t always have to be a solution. Just be my mom.

Not my therapist, counsellor or psychiatrist. Yes, IK you’re trying to be practical. But practical isn’t getting us anywhere. And I’m just tired. I’m so fricking tired of it all.

I’m just so tired.

Life is so hard. And it’s even harder knowing that many of my problems are just mental and since people can’t see that, they’d probably think I’m over exaggerating my struggles.

Like nobody takes your struggles seriously when they’re mental bc you can’t measure them and there’s no way of knowing what the person is really going through.

EVERYDAY doing minimal tasks is the most brutal, dreadful thing. Just to WAKE UP and do tasks and homework is so hard for me. And no one will get that...

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sweetlikekkul · 4 years

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Run! Day

run was great i love them, cant wait for minimoni next week

today is weird again. the last 5 days i woke up naturally (idek how tf) but not today. and within 10 mins of waking up i was sitting in the kitchen eating fish :/

today also wasnt that weird, idk. nearly 3am now and i am feeling less weird than in the afternoon, no damn clue how that is possible. sidenote: my dads new motion sensor for automatic light at night is actively discouraging me from going to the bathroom in the evenings.

but i dont know, i think i am fine today actually. what was for lunch hmmm oh yeah i already mentioned the fish. i have to cook tomorrow. meh. that means i have to get up. meh. this feels sooo strange timing-wise rn, i couldnt remember the lunch bc i was sure fish must have been yesterday, bc it feels so long ago. the days feel really long in itself, but at the same time it is just over in a heartbeat bc i dont do anything (expect be online-) and days pass in total... Fast ? day 46 of no hugs today. and it doesnt feel like i only stopped specifically counting 6 days ago, at the same time.... stopping counting nearly a week ago? that sounds right. my wrist dot only being 13 days old???? as fckn if. time is weird. but that was my actual point when i started this post too, cuz.. tuesday? sounds fake. it's Run! BTS day.

and i wanted to write some stuff about yesterday and the day before, too, i like the random titles too much to change it there, so this is gonna be one Massive post.

two days ago: i had the strawberry cheesecake muesli mix with fresh banana and strawberries and it was reallyyy good.

yesterday: i went on a lil walk taking selfies ay and i loved some and even posted some! and i like them, they turned out really cute, i love my septum in them, the trees look fantastically green. yas actual validation through likes and comments! (lmao) oh i forgot that i was really looking through songs i like recently for the caption but i still ended up with 00:00 hah it be like that

i dont remember anything else. idk. nothing worth saying i guess. oh, had some breakdowns i assume. OH yeah i was insanely unreasonably angry. i posted the flower series (three days ago now) and my one friend liked i think five of them that same evening. i was like ok, she isn't the type to check my whole profile then, so i unarchived nearly all of the a few days older ones. but. the next morning she had liked all flowers and more of the older ones too. and i cant explain it, dont know why, but i hated it. i hated that ""my aesthetic of no likes was ruined"" idk. i was so angry. and i softblocked her i might go to hell now. really relieved my mind for some reason and yeah. well. got only 3 followers now lmao. and she didnt even see the most "revealing" ones with the most text. so.... i was freaking out over normal functions of instagram. and two days ago another friend posted a picture and i got angry over that???

and i really did not do anything today. oh, i didnt go on walk today bc it was really grey and meh. thats part of why i didnt like waking up bc it felt so dark and grey, the blue sky has made md spoiled oh wow i am very much glued to my phone again. and i Do Not like it, but. it's hard. somehow. i was painting the lil chest some days. oh haha my parents didnt like that i used the water based paint basically on the floor bc it could get into the small spaces between the cork. uh i think it is too late for that, that already happened a couple of years ago when i was painting more colorful stuff. i actually did pick up my clothes from the floor... yesterday maybe? or longer ago? and changed the bedding. and that's about it. but i still want to try. try more. do better. i want to leave this functioning. thinking about getting a job again. might as well, especially with slim plans to do anything at all in summer.

#run bts

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meepface · 7 years

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i’m in a mood and i’m bored please ignore

1: Name

elyse

2: Age

3: 3 Fears

settling for less than i deserve or for something i don’t want just because happiness seems too hard or would hurt someone, the ocean, scorpions

4: 3 things I love

making people laugh, holding hands w my girlfriend and walking past another gay couple or someone in a LGBTQ+ related shirt n smilin at each other, when dogs have the lil tiny stump tails and they wag em so fast, when candles smell like christmas

5: 4 turns on

freckles, ambition/drive/passion for something, humility, uhhh also eye contact during sex can also be super hot

6: 4 turns off

apathy, moodiness, arrogance, people who are extremely loud all the time

7: My best friend

i have two and they’re great!! one leaves for japan in two days though and she’ll be gone for a month so that highkey sucks for me but she’s gonna have a blast. n my other best friend is so good to me she always takes care of me n listens to me and the other day she bought me alcohol so that was nice

8: Sexual orientation

bisexual but maybe just gay? idk i would date a boy but prolly wouldn’t fuck a boy ya know but i’d do both with a girl so who knows

9: My best date

this question originally said “my best first date” but most of em have been goin to movies and so i changed it bc my best date just in general was probably when my gf and i went and ate at our favorite place to eat n then we banged in her car in a department store parking lot and then afterwards she was like “wait nobody’s at my house i’m sneakin u over” bc her mom can be a lil weird about me going to her house so i never really do and i had never seen her room so she snuck me over to her house n we cuddled on her bed n she showed me this shoebox she has in her room with every tiny lil gift i’d ever given her in it and it made me cry a little. another nice date was when it was flooding at our university and so they canceled classes and we went to walgreens and bought shirts bc ours were soaked from the rain and i bought socks bc my socks got Wet bc i stepped in a puddle and we just stayed in my car and ate candy in our comfy clothes waitin for the rain to let up and yeah TMI ahead but basically she ended up eating me out for the first time so that was nice lol

10: How tall am I

5′7

11: What do I miss

i dunno i already miss my best friend Kate even tho she doesn’t leave for Japan until Wednesday morning. also i kinda miss how things were before this year bc my life was less chaotic and stressful and sad last year and now i’m in a rut a lil bit

12: What time was I born

uhh 11:30 somethin AM

13: Favorite color

i like cerulean which is sorta like a teal blue and then yellow and then brown and then dark green

14: Do I have a crush

ya i have a gf

15: Favorite quote

“if you have good thoughts they will shine out of your face like sunbeams and you will always look lovely”

16: Favorite place

i like to be in my bedroom a lot but there’s also this roof i go to with friends a lot that’s really nice at night and i have so many memories there. it’s a really happy place for me

17: Favorite food

i like japanese food but not the seafood kind

18: Do I use sarcasm

no never

19: What am I listening to right now

praying // kesha

20: First thing I notice in new person

i guess just their general vibe

22: Eye color

very green but they were blue for a good half of my life which is kinda weird bc they’re so green now lmao

23: Hair color

red lmao

24: Favorite style of clothing

idk i go through a million styles in a week but my fave is just a cute oversized shirt n leggings bc it’s comfy and effortless

25: Ever done a prank call?

oh yeah i used to do a ton, i even used to have a character that i’d prank call people with actually. her name was Sonya and she sold breast enhancement cream

27: Meaning behind my URL

that’s actually a secret lmao

28: Favorite movie

the secret life of walter mitty

29: Favorite song

uhh idk but lately i’ve loved do re mi by blackbear

30: Favorite band

twenty one pilots (can i make it any more obvious that i hate myself), two door cinema club, of monsters and men, the 1975, the wonder years

31: How I feel right now

generally okay?? today was a nice day but i’ve felt sorta sick all day and i haven’t been sleeping enough so that’s making me a big ol emotional baby so i feel like i could have a breakdown at any given minute but for the most part i am good tonight

32: Someone I love

my girlfriend

33: My current relationship status

taken

34: My relationship with my parents

oh i love em to death but sometimes they’re difficult n the two of em weren’t meant to be together honestly so i think they’d be better off n a lot less stressful to be around if they divorced but it’s okay maybe they will work it out

35: Favorite holiday

christmas eve. it’s so much better than christmas day!!!!

36:Tattoos and piercing i have

i have a sun and moon tattoo on each wrist and the word “lovely” on my left bicep and i’m gonna get more but that’s all for now. n i have three piercings, one on one ear and two on the other. i was supposed to have two on both ears but one got infected and i didn’t know what to do so i took the piercing out and it fucked it up and it closed up so i gotta go get it repierced someday but that’s annoying so i just haven’t bothered yet

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

don’t want anymore piercings after i get that one redone tbh. but i want a pine tree tattoo i think on my ankle and a equals sign tattoo but idk where yet and lil mountains on my shoulders, also a sunflower maybe ??? i’m still tryna figure our which one i wanna get next and where. i also have been thinkin about maaaaaaybe getting the female symbol on my middle finger but idk if i want a hand tattoo ya know

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

i really liked this youtuber charlieissocoollike and he did a video about tumblr so i was like ok cool and made one but then i didn’t understand it and never used it and then caitlin one day was talking about tumblr with our friends oliver and jennica and i was like dang i wanna be cool like them so i started using it again and i found their blogs and stalked em for a while

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

not hate but i’d never speak to him again. doubt he hates me tho

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

yeah from my gf

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

yes

42: When did I last hold hands?

today

43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

if i’m trying to look nice 45 mins-1 hour and if i’m not trying to look nice like 20-30 mins

44:Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

no but i need to lmao they a lil prickly

45: Where am I right now?

my bed and i am so happy to be here

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

my gf would be there 100%, if not her then i’d say my friend Stein but she’d prolly be more fucked up honestly. my friend Kate would be there too

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

louuuuuud unless i’m in a weird sad mood then i like it real soft

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

yeah but hopefully i’ll get my fucking act together and move out within a year but i’m still kinda figuring everything out for the time being

49: Am I excited for anything?

idk honestly i have nothing to look forward to coming up anytime soon so that sucks a lot. probably my best friend’s 21st which i think is in a few weeks?? and this music fest a good friend and i are going to at the end of this month

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

yeah my good pal Joe and also my brother and my friend Brendon too but him and i haven’t talked in a while so :/

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

this is emo as shit

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

today i hugged like four people!!!

53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

i’d be so upset and i’d break up with her and be miserable for a long while after that

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

yeah there’s one

55: What is something I disliked about today?

uhh probably that i was feelin sick and on edge just generally all day. bc it was really puttin a damper on my mood

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

i’d really love to meet Ellen Degeneres

57: What do I think about most?

prolly about how i am a useless dum dum and not to sound edgggyy but i question like....... my purpose too often lately

58: What’s my strangest talent?

talent? i don’t know her

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

i’m terrified of being vomited on. not vomit in general necessarily but it getting on me is one of the most disgusting things to me lol

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

lil bit of both but i’m better at the behind the camera stuff

61: What was the last lie I told?

told my grandma i was single bc i don’t wanna tell her i am gay n have a girlfriend even though she’d forget in like two minutes lol

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

video chatting but i’m not a big fan of either

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

yes and yes!!!!!!!!!

64: Do I believe in magic?

65: Do I believe in luck?

sure

66: What’s the weather like right now?

2 hot

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

milk and honey by rupi kaur

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

tbh i love it

69: Do I have any nicknames?

elly, gaylord, dad, that one ginger

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

probably the one time i fell off my razor scooter while goin speedy down a hill and tryna show off and got scars all over my body

71: Do I spend money or save it?

been tryna save but put me in an h&m or a forever 21 or a thrift shop and it’s all gone. i love clothes that are inexpensive

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

yeah i have an empty victoria’s secret bag on my desk

74: Favorite animal?

i like bunnies and grizzly bears

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

talking to my gf and crying probably lol it was a rough night

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

oooooo i could make a petty joke here but i won’t

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

greek tragedy // the wombats

78: How can you win my heart?

make time for me and show me i’m important to you

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

“u know she dead”

80: What is my favorite word?

serendipity

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

i’d probably just start crying and everyone would stop listening

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

yeah one of my cousins murdered someone lol i am pretty sure he’s in jail but i don’t know anything about him or if he’s even still alive honestly

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

idk i’m pretty open

86: What is my current desktop picture?

some mountains lol it’s one of the Apple preset ones

87: Had sex?

yeah

88: Bought condoms?

yeah

89: Gotten pregnant?

90: Failed a class?

nearly but no

91:Kissed a boy?

nah i’ve never wanted to really

92: Kissed a girl?

yeah

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

yeah

94: Had job?

yep i work at a froyo shop

95: Left the house without my wallet?

yeah

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

probably at some point when i was young but not anytime recently

97: Had sex in public?

yeah lol

98: Played on a sports team?

i was on a soccer team for a while as a kid and i hated it

99: Smoked weed?

not yet but i’d like to try it at least one time someday

100: Did drugs?

no and i am not interested in trying any other drugs besides weed

101: Smoked cigarettes?

102: Drank alcohol?

yes

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nah

104: Been overweight?

105:Been underweight?

for most of my life i have been lol and i finally got to a healthy weight and now i’m back to being underweight

106: Been to a wedding?

yeah a few

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

yeah

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

yeah but not any time recently bc i don’t have the motivation/attention span to sit through a movie or TV show anymore

109: Been outside my home country?

no but i’d really like to

110: Gotten my heart broken?

yeah

111: Been to a professional sports game?

no and i was invited to one recently but i had work :(

112: Broken a bone?

113: Cut myself?

yeah

114: Been to prom?

yeah

115: Been in airplane?

yeah

116: Fly by helicopter?

no but i’d really like to

117: What concerts have I been to?

soooo many. i’ll try and name em. trans siberian orchestra, panic! at the disco, imagine dragons, twenty one pilots, two door cinema club, the weeknd, melanie martinez, catfish and the bottlemen, halsey, of monsters and men, walk the moon, eric clapton, paul mccartney, glass animals, a$ap rocky, drake, the chainsmokers, foo fighters, vance joy, the strumbellas, the front bottoms, kendrick lamar, the wombats, AWOLNATION, ben rector, we the kings, the ready set, the summer set ??? i think there’s some i’m forgetting but that’s most of em. i go to so many. i am also seeing saint motel, cage the elephant, weezer, passion pit, mac miller and MGMT this summer!!

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yaaaaa most of my crushes have been n i’m datin a girl so

119: Learned another language?

i took four years of spanish and i’m taking another spanish class in the fall!! i was always real good at it

120: Wore make up?

yeah

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

no i lost it when i was 19

122: Had oral sex?

yeah

123: Dyed my hair?

nah it’s naturally red and pretty and i don’t really wanna ever dye it. i’m probably gonna dye my eyebrows tho they’re too light and i’m tired of always fillin them in

124: Voted in a presidential election?

yes this last one which was exciting until hilary lost

125: Rode in a police car?

yes

126: Had a surgery?

127: Met someone famous?

yes

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

not like legitimately but yeah i’ve gone through someone’s page out of curiosity before

129: Peed outside?

yeah

130: Been fishing?

yeah it’s sorta boring imo though

131: Helped with charity?

yeah i helped my mom with this organization she was a part of where homeless people could come and paint and make art and i helped her at a few of their shows. it is one of my favorite organizations and i met some really beautiful people there

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yeah he liked me too but he was figuring things out and later that year came out to me as gay and then like two years later i realized i’m kinda super gay too so it all worked out in the end

133: Broken a mirror?

134: What do I want for birthday?

to be with people i love

#like if ya read #about me #long post

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transssexualheart · 7 years

Note

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllll

1- what images do you have set for your desktop/cell phone wallpaper?my phone has pictures of my friends and my desktop is still dan avidan i keep forgetting to change it

2- have you ever had a crush on a teacher?no

3- what as your last text message?sent? it was “me too”

4- what do you see yourself doing in ten years?probably dying

5- if you could be anywhere else right now, where would you be?in someone’s arms

6- what was your coolest halloween costume?uhh probably last years even tho it wasn’t that great bc i made it myself and had a styled wig and everything

7- what was your favorite 90s show?i was not alive in the 90s

8- who was your last kiss?still zee

9- have you ever been stood up?no

10- favorite ice cream flavor?strawberry or cotton candy

11- have you ever been to las vegas?no

12- your favorite pair of shoes?probably my pink ones they’re soft and have tiny one inch platforms

13- honestly, have you ever cheated on a significant other?no

14- what is your favorite fruit?watermelon or strawberry

15- have you ever talked to anyone on tumblr that your could see yourself dating/having sex with? if possible?well i mean one of my exes i met over tumblr so it’s not a wild concept to me but currently i’m not like,,, interested in others

16- are you into hookups? short or long term relationships?long term

17- do you smoke? if so, what?no

18- what do you do to get over your anger?rant about it on this blog or sometimes to a friend i guess

19- do you believe in god?idk man

20- does the person you’re in love with know it?yeah

21- favorite position?sleeping

22- what’s your horoscope sign?leo

23- your fears?being abandoned, myself sometimes, everyone secretly hating me, never being loved, etc

24- how many pets do you have? what kind?three, a cat and two fish

25- what never fails to turn you on?uhhhhhh

26- your idea of a perfect first date?idk uh,, get food maybe hold hands a little

27- what is something most people don’t know about you?idk,, i guess most people don’t know what i look like during a full on breakdown that i’m not trying to disguise

28- what makes you feel the happiest?hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

29- what store do you shop at most often?i dont shop a lot

30- how do you feel about oral? giving and or receiving? never gave or received, both sound good to me tho

31- do you believe in karma?idk

32- are you single?yeah

33- do you think flowers or candy are a better way to apologize? the best way to apologize is to mean it and not expect forgiveness if you really fucked up and to be genuine and honest and if you do those things it shouldn’t really matter whether you choose flowers or candy

34- are you a good swimmer?i mean,, i won’t drown

35- coffee or tea?tea

36- online shopping or shopping in person?i do both

37- would you rather be older or younger than your current age?i’d prefer to keep my age so i don’t fuck up the timeline of my life thank u very much

38- cats or dogs?how can i choose

39- are you a competitive person?i don’t think so

40- do you believe in aliens?yes

41- do you like dancing?don’t really do it much

42- what kind of music do you listen to?many kinds, mostly anything but country

43- what is your favorite cartoon character?how can i choose just one

44- where are you from?albany

45- eat at home or eat out?eat out

46- how much more social are you when you’re drunk?i’ve never been drunk

47- what was the last thing you bought for yourself?i don’t remember

48- why do you think your followers follow you?idk actually why do u guys follow me

49- how many hours do you sleep at night?it varies, sometimes like ten sometimes none

50- what worries you most about the future?i pretty much rely on the fact that i’ll probably die before it matters but if i don’t die i’ll have no idea what i’m doing

51- if you had a friend that spoke to you the same way you speak to yourself, how long would you be friends?not very, i’m not friends with myself tho so

52- are you happy with yourself?no, never really have been

53- what do you wish you didn’t know?i don’t know

54- what big lesson could people learn from your life?i guess,, not to take people for granted

55- if you could live in any home on a television series, what would it be?what

56- what’s your favorite website?i visit this hellsite most often i guess

57- what’s the habit your proudest of breaking?the only habit i could think of that i broke was biting my nails

58- what was your most recent trip of over 50 miles?idk how many miles i travel bc i don’t drive

59- what’s the best bargain you’ve ever found at a garage sale or thrift store?idk

60- what do you order when you eat chinese food?sweet and sour chicken and white rice

61- if you had to be names after one of the fifty states what would it be?no

62- if you had to teach a subject to a class, what would it be?alright so there are three things that i feel like i’m able to do well those three things are draw, write, and play pokemon and i’m a failure at everything else i do so probably an art class or creative writing class

63- favorite kind of chips?i like doritos

64- favorite kind of sandwich?grilled cheese

65- which do you use more often, dictionary or thesaurus?dictionary

66- have you ever been stung by a bee?yeah, only once, and i have a history of not fucking eating for whole days and that was one of those days and i guess the sting just triggered the dehydration and all that and i got really dizzy and my legs gave out and my mom had to carry me home

67- what’s your favorite form of exercise?my what now

68- are you afraid of heights?more afraid of what i’d do to myself than the height itself

69- what’s the most memorable class you’ve ever taken?eight grade science, i had a bunch of friends in that class and we hated the teacher at the time and the shit he did and we were constantly like going insane and here’s the main reason: my mom went to school with that teacher and she managed to find a fuckin. story that he wrote in 11th grade and she showed it to me and my god it was so bad and the main character was such a self insert and i was like “oh my god this is amazing” and you know what i fuckin did? u know what i did? i decided to make c o p i e s of the story so i could bring it into school and show my friends. so i had like ten copies and we gave one to my friend kevin however. we gave it to him DURING science class. so instead of doing his work kevin is sitting back there reading this story and laughing at it and the teacher is like “what are you doing kevin?” and kevin, instead of putting it away and being like “my work”, was like “oh i’m reading your 11th grade story” and at this point i’m like “oh fuck” and then the teacher asked where he got it and he points to me and i’m like “OH FUCK” so he comes over and asks where i got it and i’m like “surprise my mom went to school with you” and he’s like “i haven’t seen this story in years” and guess who’s like “DO U WANT A COPY” and reaches over me and into my backpack to pull out a fuckin copied version :^) anyway that day was wild some girl i never talk to who didn’t even know my dead name let alone my actual name came up to me asking for a copy

70- what’s your favorite breakfast?pancakes or waffles

71- do you like guacamole?no

72- have you ever been in a physical fight?no

73- what/who are you thinking about right now?um

74- do you like cuddling?yes

75- are you holding onto something you need to let go of?can we not have this conversation over tumblr’s ask system thanks

76- have you ever experienced one of your biggest fears?i live with myself every day lmao

77- favorite city you’ve been to?nyc!!

78- would you break the law to save a family member?probably

79- talk about an embarrassing moment?me, as a person

80- are there any causes you strongly believe in?idk

81- what’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?not sure

82- fav day of the week?none

83- do you consider yourself sexually open minded?idk what that means

84- how do you feel about porn?i don’t watch it really, but if that’s your thing then it’s your thing

85- which living celebrity would you like to know?idk

86- who was your hottest ex?it’s hard for me to like,, determine that because my sexual attraction to someone usually isn’t there until i start liking them romantically (in most cases, there’s people i never liked romatically but found attractive or people i found attractive before i liked them but that’s not the case with anyone i actually dated) and it disappears when i don’t like them romantically anymore so ???? also rude question especially considering at least two of my exes follow me here

87- do you want/have kids?don’t have them, might have them but that’s dependent on whether or not my partner is able to take care of kids i’m not gonna have kids if i know that my partner can’t be a good parent to them. also still not sure if i want them myself

88- has anyone ever told you that they wanted to marry you?no

89- do you get easily distracted?hell yeah

90- ass or titties?why… choose…..

91- what is your favorite word?to use in writing, probably “gentle”. to use in speech, probably “fuckin”

92- how do you feel about tattoos?i want a lot, i have two

93- do you have any pets?this was already a question?

94- how tall are you? 5′5

95- how old are you?14

96- 3 physical features you get complimented on a lot?i don’t get complimented on specifics, the most i get it usually like “you look nice today” or sometimes ppl say they like my makeup but that’s not a physical feature of mine

97- is there anything you’re really passionate about?i love,, the jims and the piano

98- do you have trust issues?idk, i don’t let most people see me cry or see me having a breakdown and i only really trust a few people with most stuff and it’s usually because there was something that happened in the past that allowed them to already know stuff like that and they were good about it and i was like “oh, then they’ll be alright about it and i don’t have to explain myself to them because they already know” but?????

99- do you believe in love at first sight?god no, what if they’re a dick?? u can’t judge a book by it’s cover. also i think that now i’ll have to know someone pretty well to start liking them because of past and current events

100- what are some words that you live by? why? i don’t have a specific quote or anything but. if you love someone tell them. i’ve said this before, and i don’t mean specifically romantically in fact in some cases you should keep that to yourself so no one is made uncomfortable but like. tell your mom or your best friend or your dad or your grandma that you love them because they could be gone real soon or you could be gone real soon and they should know that you love them before that happens

thank u for asking

#ask tag

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kiominkio · 7 years

Text

I was tagged by @prettypjm 💕💕

Nickname(s): I think Kio is the only nickname people use

Bias:Taehyung or J-Hope

Blood type:I have noo idea

R/s: Single

Birthday:July 13th

Zodiac sign:Cancer ♋️

Pronouns:They/Them although I’m in a massive identity crisis again so it might change

Hair length: Pretty short

Height:165 cm which I think is about 5'5

A crush: no

What do I like about myself:Bad question right now

Right or left handed:Right

List of three favourite colours:Black, blue and red

(Right now) Eating:Nothing it’s like 2:45am

(Right now) Drinking:Water with bubbles

I’m about to:Go to bed

Listening to: Night trouble by Petit Biscuit

Kids: I’ve adopted nine of my friends

Get married: Maybe someday in the future

Recent phone call: A friend bc I couldn’t get my computer to start so she called and became some kinda tech support

(Have you ever)

Dated someone twice: I guess

Been cheated on: Not that I know of

Kissed someone and regretted it: Yessssss

Lost someone special: “Lost” like they just walked out of my life

Been depressed: Yeah

Been drunk and thrown up: Nope

Had glasses or contacts: I had glasses when I was like nine

Had sex on the first date: Nope

Broken someone’s heart: I guess

Turned someone down: Yes

Cried when someone died: I actually don’t know anyone who has died

Fallen for a friend: Well yeah

(In the last year have you)

Made a new friend: Lots but idk if they consider me as a friend

Laughed until you cried: That’s how I laugh

Met someone who changed you: Not in the last year

Found out who your true friends were: Not really

Found out someone was talking about you: I’m kinda paranoid so I kinda assume people talk shit behind my back

(_or_)

Lips or eyes: I always notice eyes first but I mean nice lips are…nice

Hugs or kisses: I don’t really like people touching me but I guess hugs

Shorter or taller: Taller

Romantic or spontaneous: Umm both?

Sensitive or loud: Both bc I’m loud af but I’m kinda fragile so it’d be nice if someone matched

Hookup or relationship: Relationship

(First…)

First best friend: A girl named Caroline, we were best friends for almost 7 years but then some pretty bad shit happened and we stopped talking

Surgery: Haven’t had one yet

Sports I joined: Riding

Do you believe in yourself: It depends, right now; nooo. In ten minutes; probably yeees

Miracles: Not really

Love at first sight: Yeah I do Heaven: I don’t know Do you have any pets: I’ve two cats, Ellen and Pine

Do you want to change your name: I wanna officially change my first name to Wakio (rn it’s my second name) but sometimes I wanna change it completely to a different name but I don’t think that name would fit me

What did you do for your last birthday: I actually can’t remember

What time did you wake up today: About 9:30am

What were you doing last night at midnight: I was out and about with my qpp

Something you can’t wait for: Either next Saturday when I’ll spend like five hours in a dance studio or just summer break

Last time you saw your mum: A week ago

What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: I wish I was more determined in what I wanna do and actually do it/work hard to get there bc rn I don’t have a fucking clue what I’m doing and I’ve multiple breakdowns a day bc of that

What’s getting on your nerves: About everything

These questions are so random and weird wtf

I’ll tag: @emiko99 @alans-kitten @all-the-good-names-are-gone @jinjjin @parksingjin @will-no @sweatae @gaylien03 @smolnonbinaryalien

Y'all don’t have to do it if you don’t feel like

#ask #ask tag

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laiguanlin · 7 years

Text

rules: once you’ve been tagged you’re supposed to write a post with eighty-two truths and then tag twenty-five people.

tagged by @the-actual-grim-reaper

name: soonhee blood type: idk ??? nickname(s): hui, soonhui, hee, (other more personal ones my family calls me) zodiac sign: taurus pronouns: they/them favorite tv shows: i....... havent watched like ‘actual tv shows’ in a while, but i guess b99, parks and rec, and sense8 ?? not including dramas/web series long or short hair: either honestly. i used to have like. rlly long hair but now it’s fairly short but !! still p cute !!!! height: 157.5-158 cm do you have a crush on someone: um. idk ??? what do you like about yourself: my near-future (at least rn) right or left handed: right list of three favourite colors: blue, white, yellow

right now: eating: nothing (im about to go to sleep !!) drinking: ^ i’m about to: sleep listening to: nothing (again, ^^) kids: none bc i m A Child get married: idk ?? ideally i would like some sort of relationship, particularly one that’s steady and dedicated, but marriage isnt like my life goal career: preferably something musically/artistically related, probably something in cybersecurity/software development

most recent: drink: water phone call: my mom song you listened to: another world - nct 127

have you ever: dated someone twice: nah been cheated on: ^ kissed someone and regretted it: nahhh lost someone special: does a hamster count ?? her name was izzy nd she was great !! been depressed: ha been drunk and thrown up: no alcohol for this underage pal kissed a stranger: nahhhhhhhh had glasses or contacts: both !! had sex on the first date: another nahh broken someone’s heart: i doubt it ??? mb disappointed them but idt it was anything more than that turned someone down: yea cried when someone died: if the hamster counts than yea fallen for a friend: nahhh

in the last year have you: made a new friend: i.... think ?? fallen out of love: nahhhhh laughed until you cried: ay yeah met someone who changed you: no one new changed me, just the people i already knew found out who your true friends were: dang true true (phi nd i have Discussed this recently so wow @ this timing) found out someone was talking about you: um nah but i wouldnt be surprised if they did kissed someone on your fb list: nope no kissing for me !!

which is better: lips or eyes: eyes eyes eyes theyre the window to the soul !!!! hugs or kisses: hugs probably !!! give them anywhere, anytime, no problem !! shorter or taller: taller, probably ?? romantic or spontaneous: ROMANTIC !! i legit almost had a breakdown bc an online site changed their brownie recipe sensitive or loud: sensitive sensitive sensitive hookup or relationship: relationship troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

first: best friend: phi !!!!! surgery: none sport i joined: soccer vacation: bahamas i think ??? or maybe florida to visit my uncle but idk

do you believe in: yourself: kind of ???? it’s very on-off miracles: yes love at first sight: mb ??? heaven: yea

extras: how many people from your fb list do you know irl: i dont use fb rip do you have any pets: YES I HAVE A DOG AND HIS NAME IS WESLEY AND HE’S 5 MONTHS OLD AND WE ADOPTED HIM NEAR THE END OF LAST MONTH AND I LOVE HIM do you want to change your name: i mean i already have two so im p satisfied what did you do for your last birthday: hung out w friends (which turned out kinda badly) and went out for lunch w my family what time did you wake up today: 7:30 what were you doing last night at midnight: sleeping something you can’t wait for: summer vacation last time you saw your mom: like 2-3 hours ago ? what is one thing you wish you could change about your life: be confident and able to pursue even the most obscure dreams and working to make them a reality !!!! have you ever talked to a person named tom: yea there are several ppl @ my school named tom so yea what’s getting on your nerves: disrespectful, lying people who don’t care about others and assume they know what’s right

tagging: @softgot7 @dujingxiu @yiumin @jonggdaes @princessxuanyi @studenthann @ilyseventeen (i cant remember any more mutuals i usually tag for these things but im sorry if i missed u !!!!!) @lunautilis @prince-rei @pierce-jay @lalabacca ("biggest fans” !!!!) @goshinvon @majestikino @jinkistarlight @jinhoshands @kyunjin @yutohs @c0smicg4y @qingdaosboy @purelypristin @bomirillaz @majestikino @achoonice @ddodaengg @kvungsoo (a bunch of other mutuals !! i hope it’s okay that i tagged you !!!!!) if u dont want to do this please dont feel pressured to !!! and if i didnt tag u feel free to do this anyways nd u can just say i tagged u :DD

#my posts #text #tag game #that was #long #but fun !!!!#i lov these kinds of things

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