#but to peter it's “do i look like you? the other you too?”
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moonstruckme · 3 days ago
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Mae, you are the loveliest human and I am so happy for you! Congratulations on 8k, that’s incredible! For your holiday party, I was thinking hot cocoa + tasm!Peter + fuzzy socks from the first prompt list. I’m ready for everything cosy!
Thank you my lovely!!
cw: Peter is a tad insufferable (but it's okay he's cute and he loves us)
tasm!Peter Parker x fem!reader ♡ 590 words
There’s a schwick, and your twirling is interrupted. Peter pulls you to him by the side of your hip. 
“Hey,” you laugh, admittedly far from unhappy to be caged in his arms. 
Peter draws a hand up your back to cup your face. His fingers smell like the basil and garlic he’s been chopping. “You are going,” he says, slow and enunciated, “to break your butt.” 
You laugh again, setting your hands on his chest with no intention of pushing him away. “I am not.” 
“You’ve fallen no less than seven times since you put those things on.” 
“That is so not true!” you protest, dodging when he tries to shut you up by kissing you. “You can’t just throw random numbers out there and expect me to agree.” 
“Fine,” Peter capitulates. “But it’s definitely been at least three.” 
“There’s a big difference between three and seven, Parker.” 
“It’s not gonna feel so big when you fall and break your butt.” 
“So let me get this straight,” you say. It’s a battle to stay focussed with Peter’s palm rubbing a slow back-and-forth across the exposed slice of skin between your t-shirt and your pajama shorts, but the knowledge that he’s almost definitely doing it on purpose makes you competitive. “You can dangle off the sides of buildings and get shot at by criminals, but I can’t slide around my own home?” 
“Yup, exactly.” Peter pecks you on the lips. “I knew you’d get it, baby. You’re so smart.” 
You back up when he tries for another. “Doesn’t seem fair.” 
“Well, you know what they say about life…” 
“Dick,” you laugh, pushing off of his chest and going back to the dishrack you were unloading. “I’m just trying to enjoy the new socks my boyfriend got me. You might remember him, he’s the cool, chill one.” 
“Yeah, I hate that guy.” Peter watches as you spin a stack of plates towards the cupboard just to irk him, but he doesn’t stop you. There appears to be a tug on the corners of his mouth. “He knew he should have gotten you the ones with the grippy bottoms.” 
“Maybe if he were less cool and chill,” you allow, grabbing a few mugs out of the dishrack, “but I like the ones he got me. They’re soft, and cozy, and perfect for—” 
You overshoot the cupboard you were aiming for, throwing yourself off balance in your attempt to stop. Your socks slip on the smooth floor, but Peter’s there just as quickly, one arm banded around your waist and the other hand catching the two mugs you’ve dropped. 
“Huh,” he says, musing. “That could have been bad, right? I knew you were gonna break something of yours, but I didn’t really think you’d be taking the dishes with you.” 
You try to stand, but you’re too low to the floor, your socks only sliding underneath you. Your face feels warm, not so much from defeat as from Peter’s proximity, the smug gleam in his eyes. 
“What do you say?” he asks. 
“Thank you.” 
His smile blooms. “You’re welcome. And?” 
You look away from his face, huffing. “Sorry.” 
“Ooh, very nice, but not quite what we were looking for. Wanna try again?” 
You glare up at him. “Really?” 
Peter’s eyes crinkle, affection mingling with his amusement. “Really, sweetheart.” 
You roll your eyes. “You were right.” 
“Attagirl.” Peter pulls you upright, and his mouth finds yours with laughter already in it, kissing you sweetly despite his teasing. “My smart girl, I knew you’d get it.”
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icarusredwings · 23 hours ago
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Do you guys ever think about dementia Charles seeing Pietro and getting sad or becoming really happy because his poor mind connects the dots that he's Erik? It dosn't compute that this wouldn't be Erik because hes too young to be Erik rather assuming that he is young Erik and not exactly having the logic to understand that they are so differently aged.
"Oh! My old friend, you've gotten a haircut. Quite bold of you. It makes you look much younger."
".. yeah, yeah, old man.." he mutters, trying to avoid him best he can, but sometimes, when the others are busy, he can't stand to leave him alone. Coming to sit with him just to litsen to him gab about random nonsense, talking so fondly about his X-men and memories dear to him.
"Do you remember?"
"Do I remember what?"
"When Jean got her first bad grade and she cried to you about how cruel I was to her." He chuckles softly. "And all she got was a B-"
Pietro stares at him like he's crazy. Jean cried to his father? But why? He had his own children to take care of. So why would he treat her like that? It makes him a bit angry. "No.. I don't. What else?"
"Hm?"
"What else happened? With jean and my da- erm. Me."
"I believe it's Jean and I." He corrects his grammer, making the younger man roll his eyes in annoyance. Once a professor always a professor I guess.
"Sure. Jean and I.."
"You acussed me of being too hard on her, but when I explained it, you laughed... I haven't seen you laugh like that in so long.." It's sort of now that Charles remembers what's going on. Who he's talking to.
"..Im sorry. Who are you again?"
"Well you like to call me speedster."
"Pft. No I do not. Mr. Maximoff.. you've grown so big since the last time ive seen you."
'You just saw me yesterday' he thinks but makes that awkward smile and nods. "Yup.."
"Youll have to forgive me. Im not always.... here."
"I know.. are you alright?"
He shrugs in his chair. "About as alright as anyone could be in my situation." Ah yes. The paralyzed old bald man who was losing his mind still had jokes. Funny. But sad. He remembered him being so similar and yet.. so different.
It's not long before Jean comes to give him his medicine again, convincing him that it was for the kid's saftey. "You don't want to hurt them. Do you, Charles?"
"No... but I'm not that gone yet. I can decide when it's best to take my medication."
She smiles so sweetly at him. "Professor, you made this time schedule yourself. Im just doing what you told me. You always knew best for us."
"Oh.. well, alright then."
Before Jean can walk away, He stares at her.
"....Why did my father like you?"
"Excuse me?"
"Charles... he said.." He trails off, not sure how to say it without talking too quickly.
"He said you cried to my father. And.. he defended you."
Jean tilts her head. "I wouldn't say defended. I was just a child having a fit." She admits then shifts, looking at the walls as if remembering.
".. He was here a lot.. and then he just.. stopped coming. Im sorry. I don't know why. Like I said I was just-"
"Didyoureadhismind?"
"Uhm.. just a couple times."
"Jean used to con you into getting her ice cream." Charles smiles, closing his eyes, reminiscing.
"He.. got you ice cream?"
Jean's not dumb. She understands his frustrations, glancing at the old man and then to Pietro again. "Like I said.. I was just a kid.. I was just excited to be able to use my powers. I didn't mean anything by it. I didn't even know he had other children."
"...He never got us ice cream.. he didn't even bother sign my birth certificate.."
"Im sorry, Peter... Professor? Tonights dinner is potatoes gravy turkey with apple sauce. Remys making it so it might be a little spicy."
"Oh, that's alright. He means well. Erm.. thats the blue one right?"
Jean snorts. "No Professor. He's the card one."
"Oooh yes. Reeemmyy... right." He says his name slowly as if trying to connect 'the card one' to 'Remy' in his brain.
"...Bye Peter." She says, now awkwardly leaving.
"Remys that rat from the cooking movie" Pietro whispers and Charles' eyebrows raise. "Ahhh! Remy! That's right."
He might be an x-men. But he could still pull a little evil here and there.
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soaked4mk · 2 days ago
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Wade Wilson Boyfriend HeadCanons
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👽:slowly but surely getting back into my writing 💅🏼 (not proof read just super horny like a clown 🤡 HONKAH HONKAH)
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SFW ♥️
★ Wade is a silly guy. So silly in fact, he’ll crack jokes or shoot a sarcastic comment your way—mid argument. “How am I supposed to listen when you look this good right now?” Fear not! Because he knows when to shut up. (When you tell him to)
★ Bro defo has a Roblox account. Not elaborating.
★ Despite his chaotic and reckless behavior, Wade is actually super protective and would go to extreme lengths to keep you safe. And then some. “Hey! Back off! Don’t you fuck with her! Unless you wanna fuck with me too. In that case we’ll need a sit down discussion for—“ “WADE!” “Right—sorry.”
★ Expect big, wild romantic gestures. Like standing outside your window while holding up a boom box. (playing ‘what you won’t do for love’ by Bobby Caldwell) or (attempting at) writing your name with fireworks. (There were definitely ‘unexpected’ explosions)
★ “I know it’s only Tuesday, but I totally, legally rented a helicopter so we can pretend we’re in the aveng—no? Okay…plan B then: Breakfast in bed with (penis) questionable pancakes.”
★ Cuddle bug Wade. Are we surprised? This man lives off of physical touch and affection. Wrapping you up in his arms, not letting you go with a shit eating grin. “Nope, you’re not leaving this couch. We’re practicing the ancient art of Wade Wrapping, which requires at least three hours of cuddles, just sayin.”
★ He is nonstop teasing you. It’s a hobby for him, really. (And his love language) Coming up with silly nicknames for you, challenging you to random games or chores, he’s not below making fun of himself to see you smile either.
★ “Oh-ho? You think you can wipe the track with me in Mario kart? That’s cute.” “Honey—you look fine. Approachable even. Unlike me…” (he says while laying limbless on the bed. Literally….)
★ Uses his dark humor to comfort you in times of ‘what the actual fuck?’ Knowing how to turn even the bleakest of moments into something a little lighter. “Hey, I know life might suck granny tits right now…but at least we’re not in a rom-com where one of us has to die or something worse for the other to grow emotionally, right?”
★ Unwaveringly supportive of you in any conflict. He is going to take your side. Every. Single. Time. Backing you up even if he has literally no idea what’s going on or why. “You said Rick was out of line at work today? Well guess who’s getting a strongly worded letter in the form of interpretive dance in the parking lot?” “Is it Ri—“ “it’s Rick.”
★ Wade loves experimenting in the kitchen with you! Attempting to make meals that sometimes end up in hilarious disasters, followed up by a take out order.
★ He breaks this…’fourth wall’ sometimes. Like looking off into the distance and talking to an invisible audience or camera while addressing you. This dead ass bewilders you at times. But mostly you roll your eyes at his antics.
★ “Can you believe this shit?” He’ll ask, turning to an imaginary audience. “I’m over here being the perfect boyfriend—funny, handsome, protective, all that—and you guys still think Peter Parker is the ‘Ideal Boyfriend’ pffft. Get real.” *turns back to you* “anyway, where were we?”
★ This overgrown man child is a PDA enthusiast. Unashamed of hugging, kissing, or trying to dip you during a playful dance in public. He doesn’t care, he’s proud to be with you and wants everyone to know it. “You know what this sidewalk needs? A spontaneous make out session”
★ One hundred percent would insist on wearing matching or theme outfits. Whether it’s full on costumes or something little like matching socks. “Ta-Da! Matching Taco Cat shirts—no, no. Don’t fight it. This is how we show the world we’re a team. Through peak fashion choices.”
★ Loves movie nights. They’re full of commentary, with your boyfriend narrating or making fun of the movie plots. He’d insist on watching rom-coms or action movies for sure.
★ You’ll receive unconventional love letters in the form of doodles, short jokes, or notes saying “I love you more than The Golden Girls. And that’s saying something. ;)”
★ Wade is a pretty chill dude. He’s not overboard with jealousy. But that won’t stop the man from making his classic (not so jokey) jokes when he feels like someone might be getting too close to you. “Oh, flirting? With you? Cute. Should I go over there and casually mention that I’m the love of your life and also really good with sharp objects?”
★ Beneath all the jokes and chaos, he has moments of genuine, heartfelt affection. Whispering his love and gratitude for you at unexpected times. “I know I never take shit for real. But I’m serious about you, about us. You’re my safe space, the one part of my life that makes sense on this stupid chunk of rock floating in space.”
★ Remembers odd little details about you. Showing it with unexpected gifts that align perfectly with your interests. (Even if they’re a bit off beat.) “I saw this super limited edition action figure of (favorite character). I had to get it for you—don’t ask me how, just say thank you and let’s run—“
★ Randomly belting out terrible renditions of love songs at the top of his lungs, just to get a laugh from you.
★ Acts tough for your amusement, like he’ll pretend to be all macho around your friends to make you laugh. “Yeah babe, I’m like, indestructible. Just gotta…” *struggles to open a jar of pickles* “wait—hold on. This jar is definitely cheating…”
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NSFW 🍆💦
★ Wade love love LOVESSS making you watch while playing with your pussy. Using his mouth, fingers and all kinds of cute little toys.
★ Tying your hands together, behind your back and sitting you in front of the mirror with your legs spread wide as he slowly circles your clit with a bullet vibrator, nuzzling into the crook of your neck. “You see how fucking wet you are for me, baby?” “Look. At. This~” “did I say to look away? Didn’t think so…”
★ He’s into all kinds of crazy shit—high key an exhibitionist.
★ Fucking you in a theatre bathroom, pressing you up against the stall while he covers your mouth, dipping the head of his cock teasingly into your aching cunt.
★ “I don’t give one shit if someone hears us, I need you. Now.” “Shhh baby, gotta stay quiet if you wanna cum.” “Stay still now…”
★ Eating you out in the back of the car, hands kneading your plush thighs while looking up at you with that knowing, shit-eating grin. Not even bothering to wipe you from his chin.
★ Struggling to keep your eyes on the man, a red flush taking over your face as the vibrations of his groans send shocks of pleasure through your entire body.
★ Fingering you under the table/using a remote control vibrator on you when you’re out having dinner. “Yeah that’s it for me and uh, what about you babe?” He asks nonchalantly, as if he weren’t bumping the bullet to its highest intensity or running his fingers over your panty clad pussy. All the tasty stuff. It’s the thrill of almost being caught for him.
★ Baby girl also LOVES when you take control. Straddling him, tying him up to the bed, slapping his face. He’s fucking into it.
★ F-fuckk~ wan—wanna touch you so bad~” he whimpers, hips bucking involuntarily while you ride him, bouncing in his lap with your hands on his shoulders and his cuffed. “Mmff—need to cum…please, please—I’ll do whatever you wa—aaah, fffuck!”
★ Wade loves to buy you new toys/lingerie sets all the time! He’ll come through the door with a bag full of new things to try out or on. “Oh, come on—put the bunny ears on…I’ll let you do that one thing you like.”
★ Costumes, dressing up, role play. Cops and robbers, Professor and student, Master and pet. He loves that shit and has a lot of fun with it.
★ “You have the right to remain silent, on your knees, now.” He’ll smirk, cuffing your hands behind your back, trailing a finger down your cheek before fucking your face. “Cock hungry bitch, aren’t ya? Such a good girl…” he croons, pulling at your leash.
★ “You call that begging, honey? Hate to break it to you sweetheart, but you’re gonna have to be louder than that if you want me to fuck you silly.” He teases, sending a sharp smack to your ass while prodding at your slick pussy with his shaft, making you arch and whine out for him.
★ If you’re into it, he has no issue with knife/gun play. “How does it feel…?” he purrs into your ear, slowly sliding the cold metal up your stomach, circling your belly button before trailing up your chest, then collarbone, pressing the blade/barrel to your throat/temple. “Scary? Hot? Scary-Hot?”
★ Loves making you squirt, finger fucking you into oblivion, thumb pressed against your clit until you can’t take anymore. “Fuck yeah, baby.” He pants, bringing his fingers up to his mouth and cleaning them with a simple ‘pop’.
★ “Mhhh…” Wade hums in delight before shoving the same fingers into your mouth—pushing past your teeth, forcing you to taste yourself with a groan “You’re so yummy, don’t you think?”
★ If you’re being a brat, expect proper punishment. “Oooh, talking back to me, huh?” He’ll ask, gripping your face with one hand, forcing you to keep eye contact. “Watch that damn mouth of yours, pretty bitch. And keep riding me—I didn’t say stop.”
★ He’ll make you grind your hips until you’re sore. It’s so fucking good it hurts. “Awww, my poor baby…look at you crying and riding. You must be exhausted, hmm?” Wade grunts, bouncing you on top his lap as if you were a rag doll. His cock slamming into you, hitting that sweet spot—never missing a beat. “Keep going—be a good girl and keep going…”
★ Once you’re both a spent, panting, boneless mess beside each other, he’ll shower you with praise and pepper your face with kisses, combing your unkempt hair with his fingers as he caresses your arm.
★ Wade would set up a diy spa in the bathroom for you. Complete with cucumber slices, a glass of wine (or whatever you want) and a bath that’s wayyy too bubbly. He’d try and give you a foot massage while joking “Only the royal treatment for my queen. Minus the actual royalty…those guys were more fucked up than half of Alabama…”
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👽:I wanna be SAVED Deadpool PLEASEEEE SLUT ME OUTTTT
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httpscomexe · 1 day ago
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Little Red
Summary: You're a little pissed off at one of your partners, but he of course, makes up for it.
(Find What I’m currently writing by checking my pinned post)
Parings: Wade x Reader x Logan
Warnings: Mention of sex. That’s it really. Heavy foul language?
Word Count: 2004
(I don't check for grammar, I'm too lazy for that shite)
“They’re in my sights, I’m moving in.” You look down at him from above the dark bridge, gun trained on the enemy as Wade moves in, gun pointed in their direction as they search for both of you, and you grin, you had them cornered and they didn’t even know it.
“Wait…” You mumble, sweeping your gun over the area again. “I thought there was three…”
“Shit-“ Then you hear it, the gun as it shoots you right in the back, your gun powering down for the next 10 seconds.
Fucking laser tag.
“Haha, I got you!” Peter pokes your forehead, pushing your head back playfully before running off for the last five seconds you had left, waiting for your gun to power back up.
Were you winning? Absolutely. Were you having fun? Most definitely. Should you all be out on a mission right now? We don’t talk about that.
There’s arcade music as your gun powers back up, and you immediately go back into ‘Call of Duty mode,’ as you like to call it, treating it as if it was a real mission and you didn’t just get shot in the back.
Turning a corner you see a blue glow, that meant Wade was there, your other partner having left already claiming the game wasn’t fair to them. Just because they’re blind, doesn’t mean it’s impossible.
“One is in the back left corner of the room, I’ll get the two on the opposite bridge.” Wade tells you, crouch running to get to the other side, cause who really gives a fuck about no running rules in laser tag rooms? Once the gun is in your hand and the vest is strapped around your front, the rules no longer apply, it was every man, or woman, for themselves, and you took it pretty damned seriously.
You turn the corner, the end of your gun pointed ahead with only 12 seconds left on the little screen, and so you rush it, moving into a jog to get to the end, searching for Kurt, and finding Peter, shooting him straight in the side while he’s looking up at Wade, satisfied with the 10 second time out, that meant he was done about 7 seconds early, so you pass him, ignoring the stupid look of defeat he gives you. You always start, and end with the first and last shot, and you always win. Today would not be the day you lost. So with your gun at the ready, you spot Kurt, he’s got his gun trained up where Wade is, you can tell by the blue glow, and he was waiting for Wades vest to pop up, but you knew it wasn’t going to, so you get close enough for the gun to catch onto the sensors, and you pull the trigger, but it doesn’t push down, instead of the classic video game gun sound, there’s a power down button as the lights turn on, cancelling out the neon and black lights, a groan leaving your throat.
“Why didn’t you shoot me?” Kurt laughs, standing up and looking at Wade again who was now scaling his way down the bridge over to you, Kurt, Peter, and Jane. Scott had also left the room because he was scared of lasers.
“I thought I had enough time for a takedown!” You smile largely, Wade coming up from behind you and lifting you around the waist, waddling awkwardly as he walks you to the exit.
You get out, looking up at the scoreboard. As usual, flawless accuracy, and the most points, you sigh. Thank you Clint. The winning team? Well, Wade picking you up and twirling you like a princess is enough to answer that question, obviously the blue team won. Meaning 500 tickets would be sent into your wristband, and your team wouldn’t be able to play again for thirty more minutes.
“Who won?” Al comes up behind you smiling, holding the big stuffie that she wants to believe is a teddy bear, no one had the heart to tell her…
“Uh, who do you think won?” Wade wiggles his finger directly in front of Al’s face.
“Judging by your hot breath on my face regardless of the mask, I’m assuming you and little red won?” Little red. You love Wade, but God that nickname was getting to be a bit much.
“You’re just mad you couldn’t see.”
“Bitch I got more shots than you probably.”
“Which would be impressive if your kill to death ratio wasn’t seven to twenty three.”
“Girls, come on, the pizza should be ready, and Logan should be here any minute now.” You grab Wades gloved hand, and you gently guide Althea over to the table where Scott was sitting, a small cup of tickets on the table, and a large box of pizza, only two missing. But you weren’t hungry, you were just excited to see Logan.
“Face it, he’s not coming.” Jane nudges you, grabbing a slice for herself, but you were pretty dedicated to looking towards the door, hoping his grumpy ass would peek in at any minute now. But to no avail.
“After this, we should do the race track.” Wade points at Kurt with the tip of his pizza, the weird bastard was eating it crust first. As if Wade couldn’t get weirder.
“Ze race track?” Kurt lifts the two litre bottle of coke, pouring it into a styrofoam cup with some ice that was half melted as you look down at your watch. Logan should’ve been there by now, he promised he’d be there… Surely he didn’t forget. Right?
“Yea, I mean one of us is bound to beat little red in racing, right?” Wade chuckles, looking at you looking at the doors.
“Right? Little red?” You feel a hand on your shoulder and you throw on a smile. “You can’t be good at racing too.”
“Actually, Tony Stark taught me himself.” Is what you would’ve said, but you’ll pass on that for now, those are stories for another time. “Wade, I will kick all of your asses in racing… I could beat you all with my eyes closed.” He smiles.
“Wanna give that a try?”
“No, I wanna go outside for a moment…” You answer quickly, it sounded almost sarcastic, but by the way Wade's chest heaves up and down in a silent heavy sigh, you know he’s disappointed. You were completely reliant on Logan, but you couldn’t help it. That bitch saved your life. And he wouldn’t even show up to an arcade for you now. “I just need a breather…” Wade nods, letting you go, a pat on the shoulder for comfort.
“Well, we’re gonna go practice rounds with five year olds as a replacement, and maybe we can even get Al driving. I'd love to see what she looks like behind a wheel completely unaware of another car in front of her.” You chuckle dryly, taking a step back.
“I’ll be right there, I promise.” You mumble the promise, stepping out of the large arcade and you go over to your truck, climbing into the bed and then onto the roof, sitting with your legs crossed as you open your phone, first checking Logan’s location, which as usual, was turned off. So you call him.
It rings.
And rings.
And rings.
And guess what?
It fucking rings.
You groan, opening your texts with him, the last one he sent being, “I’ll be there baby, I promise. Tell Wade I love him too.” Which makes you feel a wave of hurt just stroke through your body.
You call the number again for some reason. And it rings, and rings. Then it doesn’t.
“What the fuck?” Did this motherfucker just decline my call? Who the fuck does he think he is? You call back, and this time it only rings once before it’s sent straight back to voicemail. So again, you call, same thing. So you call again and again until you’re sure his voice box would be full of frustrated grumbles and groans from your side. “You motherfucking bitch…” Is what’s in the last voicemail until you open your camera app. Only to discover a fucking wall.
And that was it.
You hop off the roof of your truck, opening the door and starting the engine, letting it roar to life despite the snow as you buckle up quickly and swing out of the parking lot. You were not letting this motherfucker ignore you.
You take a sharp turn, speeding down the roads when you could, the little sticker on the back of your licence plate a warning for police not to pull you over.
“What the fuck could this ancient piece of art be possibly hiding from me?” You start yelling at nothing, wishing Wade was sitting next to you. “You save the fucking world with someone and you think you know a guy… especially one that’s been fucking inside of you.” You’re talking to the snow on your windshield now. You knew you’d get attached when you agreed to being in a relationship with Wade and Logan. You’re latched onto the two unkillable fucks like a leech, and until they see you when you’re out of your prime, you weren’t going anywhere, and they sure as hell weren’t gonna push you away. Especially not on the birthday that they all promised to be at. Which honestly, if it was just you, Wade, and Logan, you would’ve been completely satisfied. But with Logan missing, it just felt like a teenage hangout, Wade counting as a child.
You pull off the road, driving up the gravel quickly to the little cabin the three of you had put together, and you turn off the engine of the truck, throwing yourself out of the drivers seat, jamming the keys into the front door, and you push it slab of wood open, basically slamming it behind you before you freeze at the red coating the hardwood floor.
Rose petals…?
Your eyes squint in confusion. And you take another step inside. Red rose petals lead to the bedroom. Little fake candles lit up in the kitchen and living room. And you could barely hear two voices arguing with each other in the bedroom. Wade and Logan…
Logan…
Wade?
How the fuck-
Kurt…
You groan, taking slow and calculated steps towards the bedroom, you weren’t big on surprises, especially since on the other side of the wall there’s usually just a man with a gun.
But as soon as you step into the bedroom…
“Surprise!” Wade shouts, conferring thrown into the air, and there’s glitter flying at you, making you turn away but it just covers your clothes and the floor, not reaching your eyes, nose, or mouth.
Wade was standing in jeans and a pink polo now, his suit and mask kicked into the corner as if it was expertly hidden, and he even managed to get Logan to wear something else from his usual beater and jeans. He was now just wearing elmo pyjamas and a pink hoodie.
“Happy birthdayyy little red!” Wade sings, clapping his hands and running up to you for a hug, which you of course give him, sending a death glance towards Logan who just laughe, taking a few steps towards you.
“I know, I promised to go to the arcade, but baby I am more than two hundred years old, pac man isn’t exactly my thing…” He grabs your waist, wrapping one arm around you and smiling.
“So you set this up…?” He nods, and you feel Wade come up behind you.
“Figured we’d give you a break and let you relax while we take care of you…”
“It was my idea…” Wade chirps, and Logan growls. “Mostly my idea… the sex part was my idea…” His hands also rest on your waist, smiling against your neck as Logan stares down into your eyes.
“Happy birthday, little red…” He leans down, kissing you, and suddenly the nickname doesn’t seem all that bad.
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winterzxsoldierz · 2 days ago
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Home Alone In The Avenger's Tower
Reader x Hydra agents
Authors Note: I was watching Home Alone earlier and wanted to make a one shot inspired off of it, Marvel style, in this you are Loki's kid, yes i said it, and the Avengers are not gonna be around for this one sadly, but hydra will and that meant fun for you, don't be too sad the avengers will come at the end. Warnings: Pranks, a lot of sadistic pranks, and blood, language Steve wouldn't approve of. Side note:I wanted to bring Christmas a bit early and add some glorious purpose to it. Reader is Female and around 17 & 18
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The day started out normal, you waking up and doing anything a relatively normal person would do, brushing teeth and getting yourself together, the team had to go on a emergency mission on Christmas Eve, which had you a little bummed because you were actually starting to like them, your father said they weren't that bad and you agree.
Walking into the kitchen, you stop and smirk, and magically you conjure a full plate of breakfast out onto the table in front of you "Ha, beat that Sam." you murmur to yourself smugly. you take a seat down and begin to eat breakfast, you turn on the tv as well, watching the Grinch, Bucky's twin you called him. After breakfast you wander around the tower snooping around Tony's lab, touching things you have no business touching, you then find Tony's music playlist and grin, that's when you find it, the perfect song to blast around now that you're alone, Master Of Puppets by Metallica, and you ask his A.I F.R.I.D.A.Y to turn it on the common room loud speakers, and around the tower, you sing and dance without a care in the world, hell you even conjure your own electric guitar.
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(Sun down) Hours had passed since the sun was up and there you sat on the couch with a tub of ice cream in your lap, with a spoon bigger than your mouth in your hands, "Merry Christmas you filthy animal." you imitate Kevin in the movie as you watch him quote the guy he's watching on his tv. (Meanwhile) Brock Rumlow creeps up the steps of the Avenger's level of the tower, and signals his buddy Grant Ward, to follow him, Rumlow felt a bit smug knowing that the Avengers were gone for the day and probably the night as well, he had it all figured out and Alexander Pierce would definitely be proud when he comes back with juicy information...But little did he know he was in for a rude awakening. A sudden crash awakens you from your power snooze and you look around noting the quiet, the television had cut off itself and the common room was only brightened by the Christmas lights and tree, your eyes narrow in suspension since you knew the team weren't home yet, and it definitely wasn't Peter because he would have texted you, you hear voices, whisper shouting to each other, it was definitely two men, none of who voices you knew, so activating your invisibility you began to your search.
Upon reaching Tony's lab next to the file room you see them, and your eyes widen, now you had two options call for help or handle things yourself, and you thought what the hell, 'I'm a god, i don't need it.'
Purposely you make yourself visible again and play scared child, both of the agents come up to you but you run and of course there's a little evil smirk on your lips. "Hey F.R.I.D.A.Y lock any source of exits in the tower for anyone who isn't me or the Avengers." you yell. and you slip into your fathers room.
(POV:Hydra's)
"What the fuck? Brock you said the place was empty! Grant exclaimed in annoyance, Brock shrugs and glares "How was i supposed to know there'd be a Teenager here?" Brock argues trying to defends himself, Grant rolls his eyes "For you to be the leader of the strike team you sure act like an obnoxious dick on a stick." Grant glowers. "Let's just find the girl." Brock grumbles and walks off "Besides, what can one girl do to us?" Brock yells cockily.
Running into the kitchen you go into the pantry and pull out some popcorn, you rip open the bag and lay out some kernels on the ground, you then grab a bottle of olive oil and pour it down on the ground of the kitchen and common room entrance, but you pour enough where it'll lead them into a large pool of green paint you conjured into the common room area. plan one was already in motion.
"Hey Brock i think i found- oh shit." Grant yelps as he trips forward on the kernels only to slip quicker on the oil, "Uh-oh" the words leave him as he tips over into the pool of green paint with a wet splash. All you do is smirk in the back ground and teleport to where Rumlow is heading.
"Where is that little bitch?" Brock growls and makes his way down the hall towards the file room and instead of meeting the room he falls, through a portal and he falls for about 30 minutes before you eventually let him fall into the paint pool next to his buddy.
Both Brock and Grant look at each other in confusion, before both of them get out the pool, but you have other plans for them. Teleporting the men into the training room, you have them held up against Clint arrow dart board and you speak into the intercom completely invisible to the men you speak "Ladies and Gentlemen, today we have two continents up on stage today to play a game of human darts, our weapon of choice, daggers!" you say excitedly, "But firstly let's give a boo for our gentlemen up on stage for being pussy's for making a move when my family aren't home. BOOO." you murmur dryly and in a wicked tone you speak. "Let's began."
With you still invisible you step into the room, handful of Bucky's daggers in hand, you watch in amusement as the men look around clearly worried about if you're around or not, but who cares.
You start by flipping the dagger in your hand and the swish the dagger fly's right by Grant's arm and plunges right into the board next to him, and then you throw another making a yelp leave him as it lands right by his head, you laugh. Then you turn to Brock, a look of distaste on your face, this guy creeped you out more than you like to admit, you throw not one but two daggers at him, one landing on each side of his arm almost hitting him but not quite. "I call this one, no kids in his sack." You quip and throw a dagger right between his legs, so close but not hitting him. but you laugh at his screams.
Three hours. it's been three hours, since Brock and Grant have been victims of your games, they can't find you anywhere but you have traps waiting for them every corner, Brock was covered in chocolate sauce and thumbtacks and Grant was still green from earlier but had burned shoes from stepping on metal steps you some how have heated up. Again the intercoms start up this time it plays Another one bites the dust by Queen, and the lights flicker off and on and both men walk on a trip wire and are immediately slapped with pans in the face and the fall back into yet another portal and falls into a pool full of flour, they don't get a chance before honey is falling down on them, but of course it wouldn't be funny without your laughter.
Once again, Brock Rumlow and Grant Ward split up, big mistake.
Brock walks down the hallway, his steps a bit squeaky from the mess that is him, he lost all his weapons, he leans up against the wall, and peaks around the corner seeing a round barstool with a metal bucket on it that says "Weapons." he walks towards it with fast big strides and reaches his hand in and hears a click his eyes widens and then Boom he's blown back into a wall rendering him unconscious and a bit bloody "Merry Christmas you filthy animal." You quote, with a satisfied smirk on your lips as the clock it's 12 on the dot. You follow Grant, you're invisible again, and watching him, the feeling he gets is uneasiness and he looks around, yet he keeps going forward, he walks into a room that looks Christmas gift wrapped, it's an empty circle looking room, the door shuts behind him immediately and with an illusion spell, you make him see spiders, that look like reindeer, and they start to chase him, he runs but runs into the glass walls repeatedly until you decided you were done with them, so you teleport in there and punch him in the face knocking him out. You drag Brock's unconscious form into the room with Grant, and tie their hands together with Christmas lights and then you add a Christmas bow on each of their heads. the room that the two men are in is Loki's old cell, you leave the cell locking it up and you put gift wrapping paper over the glass to keep any one from seeing in or out, you add a large golden bow on the door and a note that reads "To:Avengers, From:Y/N"
You cleaned the entire tower up with your powers and went to bed like nothing happened but only you'll know the real secret.
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(Avengers Pov)
Everyone is tense and tired, the mission was a trap and bust but everyone is alive, and that's all that mattered, the jet lands on the helipad and the team gets off.
Upon getting into the tower the place smells of fresh chocolate and mint, they are first met with cookies and hot chocolate on the table in the common room, and they see the stockings filled with wrapped gifts, the anger and tension in the seems to leave as they see this and know your the cause, and then that's when they hear it, Jingle bell rock playing from a distance, they follow it until they reach the gift wrapped cell, each of them has their own look of confusion, before Tony steps forward and reads the card. "I'm assuming that the mission you went on was a trap, i hope you like the snacks and presents but i think you'll like this one more, i got em. from. Y/N Laufeyson-"
The rest of the team steps forward and starts to tear down the paper and there the two men lay fully conscious and tied up in a jolly way and all messed up. The team looks at each other before bursting out in laughter. "Well i'll be damned." Tony snickers "That's my darling little angel." Loki smirks, a proud look in his eyes. (The End)
Happy soon Thanksgiving and early Christmas, thanks for reading❤️💚
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raspberry-vinaigrette · 2 days ago
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i am pondering dialtown peter since i just did the roger dlc good end. warning in advance for roger dialtown dlc spoilers. cool? cool anyways
i just think like. okay the good ending cutscene with peter is kind of. abrupt. and confused people according to doggo and i can see why, it's... a bit weird in tone and isn't built up to as well as it could've been imo. no shade to the ending though the ending is fuckin AWESOME and that roger speech shook me to my core. however i think the peter intrusion can be reinterpreted to be really interesting with a bit of canon wiggle room, so to speak, because like --
imagine you are peter. you're the straight-laced, responsible co-manager of the factory, and you have been for a while. you know that you aren't easy to get along with and you don't really try to change this. it keeps things under wraps. it's all you can really do when everything around you is chaotic and wacky and you're so consistently left out of the loop. things are done without you being consulted. you feel like a joke so you have to prove you're the only thing that isn't. and really, it's your fault, in a way. you're the villain here for letting these things happen. you are to blame.
and then there's your best friend roger. you feel, sometimes, like he's the only person youre tangibly helping. you got him off of alcohol. you're always the one he leans on, always the one checking in. he is a good man. life has dealt him a bad hand, and people laugh at him sometimes, but you know he's good. he tries so hard. you wonder if maybe you aren't trying hard enough, but maybe your destiny is just to be this way. you don't think about it. he seems happy around you and that's enough, you suppose. and then management changes.
for all you know you are responsible, you also believe there is something rotten within you. something that will only weigh others down. you are able to be so very normal amidst the chaos of work, but you believe you can't be personable. you're too methodical, too straightforward, too managerial. and people want a person to talk to them, not a rigid machine. you look in the mirror and wonder how much of you is just the phone on your head. you look in the mirror and wonder who you are. but you can't fathom a good man like roger could look in the mirror and see anything but the sun. you trust him. you know he's a trainwreck, a mess, clumsy and irresponsible sometimes, but he's a good man. you know he can prove himself. maybe if you just keep at arms length, don't take over too much like you tried last time...
and things are a mess anyway. things are worse. and you begin to wonder if maybe you're the issue. if maybe your destiny is just to take over and rule with an iron fist, because that is the only way things can be done. this rot inside you, this thing that is clearly only making roger worse by your presence -- it must be killed at the source. so you have to play the game. you know what has to happen, don't you? you have to take over. and then everyone will be miserable, and roger will see how good he is, how much potential he has, and he will usurp you. he will be good. he will surprise everyone. and the rotten festering thing will be taken out, and he will never be dragged down again. because it must be you holding them back. you're the common denominator.
you're the villain.
peter doesn't understand that not being the boss is better for roger. he doesn't comprehend he is likable as a person moreso than he is a corporate entity, a responsible manager -- the only person he may believe likes him beyond that is caroline, and even then he has a fucking board discussion about if he should be allowed to act more than completely rational and reasonable, with a pros/cons list! yeah that's meant to be a jokey dialogue scene but i still think it reflects how peter tries so hard to be rational and reasonable and i think to some extent he believes that makes him less human. roger is so bright, of course he can surprise people and show them the sun! peter may be good at management but how far will that get him when surely nobody wants to directly associate with him? he is a menace.
he does not understand that roger cares so deeply for him, the same way roger doesn't understand people love him without him having to prove himself. idk. this is only half canon and its kinda text extrapolation and interpretation to fit w the ending scene but its an interesting thought
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marauder-misprint · 1 day ago
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Party
Remus Lupin x gn!reader
microfic - 978 words
cw: drinking, fluff
You stand outside the house, tentatively bouncing on the balls of your feet as you debate going in. You can hear the sound of music and conversations through the door. You aren’t sure why you had come; you had only met Sirius a few times. But he had invited you to the party, saying he wanted you to meet one of his friends, which you found odd because you felt like you barely knew Sirius so why did he feel like he needed to introduce you to his friends?
You knock on the door. There’s no answer right away. You wait for about a minute, trying to hear if anyone was coming for the door. They might not have heard your knock since the music was so loud. You try the doorknob and it opens. You feel stupid. Of course it’s open, it’s a bloody party. Why would they lock the door when people were constantly arriving?
The warmth of the house welcomes you as you walk in. You look around for a face you know, but you don’t see Sirius or any of your friends who on the off chance might have met Sirius at one point or another and met the same fate of being invited. You walk down a hallway, looking for the kitchen. You assume that’s where drinks would be and you really want something to hold in your hands so you feel less awkward. Thankfully, Sirius is in the kitchen.
“Mate, you came!” he yells, practically jumping over a chair to meet you.
“Was I not supposed to?” you ask sarcastically.
“No, no! You were. Because now, you can meet Remus!” he says. “Oh, that’s James and Peter. They live here too.” He gestures to the other boys in the kitchen.
You exchange polite waves with them.
“Can I get a drink before you go around introducing me?”
“Uh, yeah! Prongs!”
The taller boy with glasses calls, “Already on it.”
He grabs a bottle from the fridge and passes it to Sirius who hands it to you. You smile a thanks and follow Sirius to a different room. There’s a group playing a loud drinking game in the middle of the room. You are about to groan when he points to the lone boy sitting on the couch. He’s watching the room with an amused expression, seemingly content to observe the drinking game rather than participate in it. 
“Moony! Come ‘ere!” Sirius yells. 
The boy looks away from the game and shifts his gaze to you. A wide smile graces his face as he stands up and makes his way over.
“Padfoot, what’s up?” His voice has a playful tone.
“I have found you a friend!”
“A friend,” the boy repeats, looking you over with curious eyes. 
“Darling,” Sirius says, giving your shoulders a squeeze, “this is Remus.”
“Hi,” you say, clutching your drink close to your chest.
You’re not sure what to say as you take in the boy in front of you. Messy sandy-colored hair, honey brown eyes, scars across his face, more than a few inches taller than Sirius. He gave off a comforting aura though, as if you could tell him anything and he would take your secrets to the grave. 
“Are you the one he’s been talking about all week?” Remus asks you.
“Has he? Am I?” you ask each boy in turn, looking between them. How were you supposed to know if Sirius, ever the rambler, had been talking about you?
Sirius just nods and walks away without another word. He left you alone with Remus, who stands as if a little unsure of himself. The group let out a cheer as someone had to chug their drink.
“Um, do you want to step outside? Kind of loud in here,” Remus offers and you nod, following him into the backyard. “It’s fine when I’m not trying to talk to anybody,” he adds with a chuckle. 
“Did Sirius really talk about me all week?”
“Yeah, and so far, his evaluations are right. You are ‘cute as a bug.’”
You feel a hot blush creeping up your neck. 
“He also said that we’d get along. Claims he could just sense it,” he says, giving you a polite smile. “What can you sense?”
“I, uh… You seem cool.” 
Remus laughs. It’s a warm sound that surrounds you like a hug. 
“I promise you, your senses are misleading you if your first impression is that I’m cool.”
“No, that wasn’t my first impression.”
He raises one eyebrow. “Then what was?”
The blush rises higher. “That you’re a comforting person who’s going to keep everyone’s secrets safe. So, I guess, you appear loyal?”
“Huh.” He crosses his arms across his chest, holding his bottle by the top of its neck. “Really hope Sirius calling you cute wasn’t a secret then.”
You shrug. “You seconded it. More of a confession on your part.”
“Can I confess something else?”
“If you’re an ax murderer and use Sirius to supply your victims, please spare me.”
He gives you a bewildered look.
“Not at all what I was going to say.”
“Oh, then carry on. Confess away, pretty boy.”
The slip of ‘pretty boy’ makes your whole face grow hot, but you see Remus blush as well.
“You think I’m pretty?” he all but whispers. 
You nod, not trusting your voice or your choice of words. He takes a step towards you.
“Then I feel less awkward about admitting that I think I want to kiss you.”
“I-I’m okay with that,” you say quietly, looking into his eyes before your gaze flicks down to his lips and back up. 
“Just okay?” He’s leaning in slowly, giving you time to back away or say no.
“More than okay.”
He closes the distance between you and you feel that Sirius was right. You and Remus do get along. 
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uhhlifeig · 15 hours ago
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Tunnel to Hogsmeade - Nov. 21 - word count: 451 - @wolfstarmicrofic
The tunnel to Hogsmeade was dim and damp, but it did little to dull the spirits of the four boys sneaking through it. James Potter was leading the way.
“Honeydukes first, obviously. Then Zonko’s,” he said, turning back to look at the others. “And if we’re quick, maybe we can-”
“Get caught because you’re too loud?” Peter Pettigrew interrupted, rolling his eyes as he stepped over a loose stone. “Honestly, Prongs, do you want Filch to hear us?”
“Relax, Wormtail,” James shot back. “You’re just bitter because you tripped the last time we came through here.”
“That was one time,” the shorter boy retorted. “And I only tripped because you were too busy monologuing about Quidditch to hold your wand properly.”
“I wasn’t monologuing,” the deer animagus argued.
“You were,” Sirius Black said. “Wormtail’s got a point.”
“Thank you, Padfoot. Glad someone appreciates my brilliance.”
“Don’t let it go to your head.”
Remus, walking quietly next to Sirius, let out a chuckle. “We should all focus before Wormtail starts taking credit for leading us here.”
“Someone has to take the credit,” Peter said, smirking. “You lot are too busy flirting to notice where we’re going.”
The werewolf’s head snapped up, his cheeks flushing slightly. “We’re not flirting.”
“Could’ve fooled me,” the rat animagus muttered.
“Leave them alone,” James said, eyes sparkling. “They think they’re subtle.”
Sirius scoffed. “Subtlety is overrated.” He glanced at his boyfriend, grinning. “Right, Moony?”
Remus didn’t respond, instead pretending to examine the uneven ground ahead. Peter smirked and whispered to the messy-haired boy, “That’s not a denial.”
The tunnel sloped upward, and Sirius turned back to look at the group, the map in one hand. “All clear up ahead. Once we get there, it’s every man for himself.”
“Oh, absolutely not,” Peter said, striding forward. “I’m not carrying all your sweets back. Last time I nearly put my back out because Prongs here wanted sixty Sugar Quills and three dozen Chocolate Frogs.”
“Hey, I didn’t hear you complaining when I shared,” James shot back, grinning.
He shrugged. “Fair. But I’m not a pack mule. Carry your own weight this time.”
Sirius nudged Remus lightly. “You’re just going for boring chocolate again, aren’t you?”
The lanky boy raised an eyebrow. “And what are you going for? Exploding Bonbons and something else potentially lethal?”
“Exactly,” the noiret said, grinning. “Adds excitement to life.”
“Why am I not surprised?” Remus muttered.
“Boring chocolate is a waste,” Peter interjected, smirking. “But at least it won’t knock you out like those Fizzing Whizzbees almost did to Padfoot last month.”
“That was an experiment,” Sirius said loftily.
“A failed experiment.” 
James clapped his hands together. “All right, lads. Let’s go! I’m paying, though.”
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maddy-k-reads-all-day · 3 days ago
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When We Lose Someone. 
Previous Fantape:
Riley walked downstairs, seeing a plethora of research about the cult surrounding Hameln. When Riley told Sophie about all of this, she told them about these underground shelters her family has to hide from the cult. Riley knew that Caroline and her family had been researching the cult surrounding Hameln for generations… but they never guessed that this research was so… elaborate.  
“Thanks for letting me crash here Sophie.” “No problem, I was wondering what was going on with you lately. Being all secretive. Then I heard on the news that Kate’s house and… there was a break in at the library and the dead body and… I was worried. Now it all makes sense.” Sophie sighs, “I can’t believe you’re researching the same thing my mom and Kate did. I’m so glad you let me be a part of it!” 
“Look I’m sorry, I know this is super dangerous… I mean everyone who worked on this died and your mom told you not to watch the tapes but-” “My mom didn’t tell me not to. She told me to protect them and lay low. Eventually the time would come that if I wanted to carry on the family tradition of trying to end this cult I could do it. But for the moment, she believed Peter was right and they should lay low. She warned me that it was dangerous and that it cost my life. But that… that little girl needed someone on her side. But it was still my choice. I think this is my sign that I should choose yes.” 
“Are you sure the tapes will be safe here?” 
“These underground shelters have been used to store knowledge and hide from the cult for centuries. They haven’t found us yet so… I’d say yes.” 
“Alright… I’m glad you have a VCR here… we need to find all those tapes before Hameln destroys them. I don’t know what will happen to Amanda and Wooly if they break��� but I’m pretty sure it’s not good.” 
“You found all the ones in David’s secret office. I’ll look into my mom’s files and see if she had any more information as to where the others are.” 
“Then we’ll watch these two tapes together and I’ll get the rest-” 
“It might be more efficient for you to watch at least the first one while I find out where you need to go. You introduce me to Amanda and Wooly in the second one. Then while you get those tapes I’ll keep Amanda and Wooly company and write down anything I find out. Although, you did say they weren’t very trusting.”
“Yeah, but I’m sure if I explain everything they might be more willing to trust you and besides it’s you we’re talking about. Kids love you.” 
“Aww sheesh! Thanks Riley.” she blushes, “Btw, what about your job?” 
“I design and rig V-tuber models with an online persona made to elaborately hide my identity online. If they found me through that I might actually say congrats.” Riley boasts. 
“What if they ordered an Amanda model from you?” Sophie jokes.
“Ha! Once you get to know Amanda, you’ll know that Hameln would never have the balls to make her a V-tuber.” Riley laughs, “That'd be way too much power…” 
“So are you going to tell them what’s going on?” Sophie asks.
“I have to. She’s gonna know something’s up and she clearly hates it when you don’t tell her things so…” 
“Alright. I’ll start looking through Mom’s files… in the meantime.” Sophie leans in and kisses Riley on the cheek, “Good luck.” 
Riley takes the latest tape When We Lose Someone and places it in Sophie’s VCR. The tape begins to play. 
“Hi friends, I’m Amanda!” Amanda beams. 
“And I’m Wooly!” Wooly giggles. 
“And today we’re- wait… Riley… you’re in a different place this time…” 
“So? You can watch tapes anywhere right?” Wooly reasons. But Amanda looks suspicious. 
“I guess you’re right.” Amanda sighs, but she’s looking us right in the eye. Yep. She already knows something’s wrong. Riley thinks. “Sometimes… things happen and people… they die.” 
“I never liked this episode.” Wooly sighs. 
“When we lose someone… It can make us feel really sad. Have you ever lost someone really close to you?” Amanda asks. Before Riley can answer she says, “I know you have. It hurts a lot, doesn’t it?” Riley sighs and types in Yes. They didn’t really get to know Aunt Kate terribly well, but she was still someone important to them. “When does it stop hurting?” Amanda asks, the tape glitches red, “Does it stop hurting?” Riley types in I don’t know. “I guess even you don’t know everything do you?” she sighs. “I’ve been thinking about death a lot lately…” 
“Amanda… we don’t have to follow the script right? We could… talk about something fun instead?” 
“I wonder what it’s like to die?” Amanda wonders, ignoring Wooly. Wooly looks extremely uncomfortable. “Sometimes… it feels like I’m already dead… sometimes… I wish I really was. I don’t want to be trapped here anymore…” 
“I mean… you killed me that one time… it wasn’t very pleasant.” 
“Yeah that meat went bad way too fast.” 
“Excuse me?” Wooly seems incredibly disturbed. 
“And then you just came back to life like nothing happened. So I guess we’re practically immortal right?” 
“Hold on Amanda what-” Wooly questions, then he stops himself. “You know what? I don’t think I wanna know…” 
“The kitties didn’t seem to like it that much.” 
“I’m sorry you fed me to the neighborhood cats?!” 
“Yeah lamb is disgusting.” 
“I don’t know if I should be offended or relieved.” 
“The cats seemed to agree with me. I tried to offer it to Riley, but they didn’t want it either.” 
“Can we stop talking about what you did with my corpse-” Wooly asks, “I think I’m gonna throw up.” Amanda stops talking. “Okay quit looking at me like that.” more silence. “Okay please say something I cannot handle this awkward silence.” 
“You’re not mad at me?” 
“Why would I be? It was my fault right?” 
“I mean… yeah I was mad but like… I know I went too far.” 
“But I deserved it.” 
“Wooly- No… I missed Kate very much but- I had no right to take it out on you… not like that…” Amanda explains, Wooly tilts his head in confusion. “I miss her… so much…”
“I’m sorry…” Wooly replies sadly. 
“You didn’t kill her Wooly…” Amanda sighs, “And… Kate’s solution failed anyway. I was just… so frustrated… so confused and hurt… I took that out on you when I shouldn’t have.” 
“I’m not sure I understand.”
“What I am saying is I’m very very sorry for hurting you, killing you, and literally everything else.” 
“Apology accepted.” Wooly beams. 
“No. No no no. C’mon Wooly you gotta be a little mad about it right?” 
“Why would I be mad at my best friend?” Wooly’s words only made Amanda feel more guilty. And genuinely sad. 
“You’re allowed to be upset at the people you care about, you know that right?” Amanda asks. Wooly’s eyes go completely blank. 
“What are you talking about? No you’re not.” Wooly replies, as if it’s completely normal.
“Huh?” 
“Look, I don’t want to get in another fight,” Wooly sighs, “so let’s just forget about it, okay? It’s fine. You’re good. I’m not mad at you. I’ll take responsibility and we can be done with this, okay? It’s my fault. All of it. There.” 
“Wooly- Stop it.” 
“Stop… what?” 
“It’s not all your fault. Some of it’s my fault!” Amanda cries, “We didn’t kill her!” 
“Hameln did.” Riley says. Amanda’s eyes widen in shock. Riley is surprised, since they didn’t think Amanda could hear them. 
“They killed… everyone… didn’t they?” Wooly asks. Riley types in yes. “Figured as much. They seem to really like making people… disappear.” Amanda looks between Riley and Wooly with dismay. 
“The reason you keep moving… they’re after you aren’t they?” her voice trembles. Riley says nothing. The textbox remains empty. “They are…” 
“But don’t worry! I’m somewhere safe now. All the tapes are safe… at least… the ones I could salvage.” Riley frantically explains. 
“Riley… no… no no no…” 
“That reminds me… while I have you here-”
“No!” Amanda screams, “Stop it! Stop it right now!” Riley is taken aback. “Stop watching the tapes… stop collecting them… just get out of here… far far away… don’t let them catch you too!” 
“Amanda…” Riley mumbles. 
“I can’t lose you- no… I’d rather never see you again and know that you’re safe… than know that you died and it was all my fault.” Amanda sobs. Wooly looks away. 
“Amanda… I’m not going anywhere- okay well…” they considered telling her, but this didn’t seem the time. “I promise you, the place I took you to is safe. I have a fri- my girlfriend is here. She’s going to keep you safe. She’s the daughter of one of Kate’s friends, Caroline. She’s been keeping some of the tapes safe for you… all this time. She wants to help… I’m going to introduce you very soon.” 
“No! No no no no! You’re not going to watch anymore tapes! You or anyone else! You’re going to get out of here! Far far away! You’re going to escape… and you’ll do all the things I never could! You’ll be happy! Okay?!” Amanda begs desperately. 
“Amanda, Wooly, I promise you, everything is going to turn out fine. I’ll make sure of it-” “Don’t.” Amanda demands, “I don’t care what Kate wants… I want to protect you…” 
“Kate… wanted to protect me too. But if you protect me… who's protecting you?” 
“Kate… didn’t want this?” Amanda stutters. Whoops- She falls quiet. 
“Amanda she loved you very much-”
“I know that! I loved her too! I love her too!” Amanda cries, burying her hands in her face before taking a deep breath. “That’s why… you’re not watching any more tapes.” 
“Amanda wait-” 
“Goodbye Riley.” Amanda says, “Thanks for being my friend.” 
Just then the tape ends. Riley tries to put it back in the machine, but it won’t play. Over and over. It just keeps getting ejected. 
“No… no no no no no no…” 
“Riley?” Sophie comes back downstairs,  Riley looks up at her, tears running down their face. “It didn’t work out?” she asks sadly. 
“Did you… get the list?” 
“Yeah… Peter’s family says that he left some in his old office. You can pick them up no issue. There’s some others supposedly- no no first, what happened?” 
“Amanda… doesn’t want us to get hurt… so she won’t let me finish the tape…” 
“I see… maybe I can talk to her…” 
“Give me the list… I’ll go and get the tapes…” Riley instructs standing up. Their tone is completely serious and… a little unstable. 
“Are you sure about this?” 
“A little late for that, isn’t it?” 
“I suppose. Alright. Here’s the list. Promise you’ll come home safe, okay Riley?” she asks.
“I promise.” Riley answers, but she still looks hesitant. 
“Okay, here it is. And with it, a protection spell for good luck.” She lifts the hair off of Riley’s forehead and gives them a kiss. They give each other one more kiss goodbye, and Riley disappears up the stairs. Sophie looks at the final two tapes. She notices something odd. Before, the final tape said Found You! Now it says… Goodbye. “Can Amanda… change the episode titles?” Sophie wonders. “Interesting… but… just a theory for now. Better write it down for Riley… when they get back.” Sophie takes out her notebook and turns to a new page, she titles it: Amanda the Adventurer Theories and writes this speculation down.
Authors Note: I guess you guys are getting this a little bit early. Soo... what do you think? Sophie's fun right? We got some new lore incoming... you really thought I'd reveal all my Amanda and Wooly lore now? You thought it was over? Some people wanted to see Amanda and Wooly properly talk about this, here you go. Originally this tape was going to be about Amanda and Riley finally moving on from Kate's death... but honestly it seems like Kate's death is both of their main motivations right now. Maybe eventually they can both be at peace with it. And Wooly can stop blaming himself to keep the peace : |
Next fantape:
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oldperedur · 3 days ago
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Helen’s speaking with a certain amount of irony of course, because the weekend event they’ve been attending is something Peter has consented to with a fairly accurate idea of what it would involve.
They’re on the first of a series of weekend training courses designed for couples transitioning from more-or-less conventional marriages towards strict, female-dominant living arrangements.
Helen and the other Women are accommodated in comfortable single rooms with a full range of services provided by the males attending the course, who sleep in single beds in a dormitory, like boys in an old fashioned boarding school, under strict regulations regarding curfew, dress (in fact they’re supposed remain naked for the entire weekend) and behaviour, while labouring to serve their Women.
“We’re being taught to stop thinking of ourselves as husbands or boyfriends” he explains “and to see ourselves as houseboys, or slaves, instead.”
“That’s right” Helen confirms. “We, on the other hand, are learning to see ourselves as Mistresses, rather than wives or girlfriends, with a perfect right to obedience and whatever services we want, from the males in our households that we used to think of as our husbands or boyfriends.”
Discipline of the males on the course is strict. Punishments for breaches of the behavioural code are administered by the Female facilitators. These Women also encourage the female attendees to be just as strict in relation to inadequacies in the services they receive from male attendees, whether the male in question is the one they’ve brought with them from home, or whether he belongs to another female attendee, if he happens to be waiting on them at table for example, or serving drinks after meals.
“To be honest” remarks Peter. “To call the punishments we’ve been receiving from the course leaders and our own Women ‘spanking’ is a bit of an understatement.”
“I’m afraid he’s right there.” Agrees Helen, smiling. “It’s not what I’d normally regard as ‘spanking’, either. I’m used to doing that to Peter at home, when I put him over my knee. But here, it always seems to involve a cane or a crop. Just look at the state of his bottom!”
She waves a hand at the purple welts covering his backside.
“So, how many times have you been ‘spanked’ or ‘caned’ or whatever, this weekend, Peter?” Our interviewer asks.
“Three times so far, Ma’am, but …”
“By three different women!” Helen interrupts him. “That’s two facilitators, one of whom punished him for insolence and the other one caned him for being out of bed after ‘lights out’ and then one attendee, who was cross with him for serving her the wrong drink in the lounge after lunch today. I saw it happening. I admit, I felt a bit jealous at first, but she handled him so well, I could only admire her technique.
“And now, he’s about to get the cane from me, too, because he took too long running my bath and I’ve had this lovely crook-handled cane lying idle in my room all weekend and I’m dying to use it!”
“Wow” sighs our interviewer. “So that’ll be four canings over one weekend.”
“And there’s still several hours to go before home time.” Adds Helen. “So it’s quite possible he’ll need at least one more punishment before we leave for home this evening. Isn’t that so, Peter?”
“Yes, Mistress.” He murmurs, staring at the floor in front of him.
“Did you hear that?” She purrs triumphantly. “Did you notice what he called me? This course is paying for itself already, and we’ve still got another three weekends like this to look forward to!”
Peter winces and rubs his sore bottom.
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Assertive Young Ladies #89-24
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erinwantstowrite · 4 days ago
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Do I look like him?
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had a lot of people ask me to make a tiktok for it and i swear i tried but,,, making tiktoks just isn't working for me rn so we're getting still images until i can get my brain to cooperate. anyways!! i am obsessed with chromokopia and when i heard Like Him i ascended into heaven and also cried. and it very much reminded me of LoF
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o-uncle-newt · 5 months ago
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I read Possession by AS Byatt after people told me "if you liked Gaudy Night you'll like this" and WELL.
Warning- spoilers for both books abound below!
So it sounded great- as a lapsed academic (though not in the field of literature by any means) there's a part of me that loves reading about academia because it's full of such obsessive people, and this book seemed to be exactly that and so I was excited.
Then I read it, and on the one hand, my first thought was "all these people are dull as heck, the only sane modern-day one is Val, and at the end of the day the historical stuff is just two people having an affair, who cares." My second thought was "there's just enough stuff here that makes me think that maybe the author knows that all of this is stupid, like the fact that Val is obviously one of the few sane ones here." But the ending made me doubt even that. Essentially, and I say this even as that lapsed academic, the author could not convince me to care about the important things at stake here, and as a result couldn't get me to care about the people who only seemed to care about those things.
I didn't care about Ash and LaMotte- they came across as two people high on their own supply who had a tawdry affair. (And each of them is the less interesting person, as a person, than their official partner!) As a result of not caring about them, I couldn't POSSIBLY care about Roland, Maud, and the rest of their crew, because their only functions were to be possessed by, and weirdly possessive of, these two entirely unworthy individuals, whose in-universe historical and literary significance Byatt couldn't convince me of, and to use that possession as a mirror for their own very lame romance. Beyond that they're utterly uninteresting, and there isn't even meant to BE much beyond that so it's not that surprising.
Anyway, I didn't like this book much, but it still made me think a lot. And there's a way in which a certain kind of person might say "well if it made you think then that's surely a sign of some positive quality" and... maybe? I don't know. I didn't hate all of it, and some parts were interesting, and I do have a whole separate list of things about the book that bug me including a breakdown of some of the book's (perceived by me) themes that I particularly disliked lol. Perhaps I'll post it another time. So I guess you can say it spurred me to thought, but loads of things that I don't like do that, and the only positive thing that that draws from me is that they're not downright dull.
The thing is, after finishing the book I was immediately struck by that "if you like Gaudy Night..." element, because it has a situation that felt weirdly similar (if for totally different reasons)- a young scholar stealing a letter from a library/archive. The circumstances are different- in Gaudy Night, the scholar does it to hide its existence so as not to contradict his thesis, and in Possession, the scholar does it so as to explore the document further, though still secretly- but there are still some interesting parallels vis a vis class. Possession goes into the class thing more than Gaudy Night does, but neither book goes much into it- the scholar is lower-class and someone who has scraped their way to their position, and is encumbered by a female partner of lower social and academic standing, and in the end they are juxtaposed against scholars who come from an elevated class and who have more money and opportunity. In Gaudy Night, Arthur Robinson is judged by the likes of Lord Peter Wimsey and a college full of women who don't have to do anything but think, teach, write, and grade papers; in Possession, Roland has to convince a bunch of academics of standing and resources to take a chance on him (and while this is more about money than class, he's the main one who's like "maybe it's good if Lady Bailey gets her wheelchair"). Byatt elides over this at the end by having him magically become in demand and on his way to achieving his academic goals, but I think in both books, the class element really could have taken on more significance in the text.
(I'd add as well that Byatt pits the upper-class and moneyed Maud, who of course is doing things for "the right reasons," vs the evil American businessman who clearly... doesn't care about Ash enough? Despite how much he clearly and obviously cares about Ash? The book was way more interesting when he seemed like a valid rival to the British team, who only thought that they deserved the letters more because of their obsession, rather than how it turned out at the end where the American dude is an actual cartoon villain. What made him genuinely less worthy besides having money without class, and of course having the bad taste to be American? What makes one scholar's possession more justified? Sayers was never this unsubtle.)
So that made me think more about Possession vs Gaudy Night, and the thing is, there are actual living people in Gaudy Night! Say what you will about the unworldliness of the academics at Shrewsbury, but you get a very keen view of their personalities by the end, even as they are (by necessity given the rules of their world) subsumed by academia, or subsume themselves in it. And the people who do fall in love are REALLY in love, and you understand why...
And somehow a book from 1935 feels far more interrogative of the possession (or lack thereof) found in love and romance, and just about the place of women in academia and relationships overall, than one from the late 80s. In Gaudy Night, Harriet accepts Peter once she has determined that despite their power differential (brought on by class, money, history, and to a degree gender) he will not threaten her personhood, because he has proven himself to her. In Possession, Maud accepts Roland because she has the power (money, class, position, even height) and so Roland actually cannot threaten her- and yet still that final scene is about her being taken by him, basically to prove some kind of a point. In contrast, in Busman's Honeymoon, the euphemistic sex scenes are about Peter trying to please Harriet.
When I say it's to prove a point, I'm paraphrasing Byatt, incidentally- who said: "And in the case of Maud I had made it very inhibiting. She was a woman inhibited both by beauty (which actually isn't very good for very beautiful women because they feel it isn't really them people love) and she was also inhibited by Feminism, because she had all sorts of theories that perhaps she would be a more noble kind of woman if she was a lesbian. And so she was a bit stuck. And Roland was timid because I am naturally good at timid men. It's the kind of men I happen to like. He's a timid thinking man, so of course it took him the whole book." I mean... yikes, but also that explains a lot. Maud can only bring herself to be with a man who is weak/effeminate (?) enough to justify whatever weird psyche Byatt has imagined up for her, but still she needs to get over her inhibitions and under him because... reasons. I don't know.
(Height is also interesting here as a point of contrast- Byatt makes Maud taller than Roland to make a point about how on the one hand she retains the power but on the other hand there is now even more of her that has to surrender. Peter and Harriet are the same medium height and wear the same size gown.)
I think the thing that most stuns me is how regressive Possession feels when it comes to gender politics on relationships than Gaudy Night does. I'd need a whole other post to talk about this, but the theme of Possession seems to me to be "relationships that produce things (whether art or children) are worth more than ones that don't." Roland is better with Maud than with Val because Val is a second rate scholar who drags him down (while supporting him financially) and Ash is better with LaMotte than with Ellen because LaMotte didn't only inspire his writing (Ellen's contributions are described only in the negative "didn't impede"), she gave him the child that Ellen refused to. Incidentally, in both cases it's the man pursuing a relationship that will give HIM something... But, to paraphrase Peter in Busman's Honeymoon, one wouldn't want to regard relationships in that agricultural light. Gaudy Night is about how two people can produce great things without each other but choose to be with each other for their own, and each other's, happiness. They aren't each less apart, and as I noted in a prior post, they don't need to solve cases together or conjoin their work in order for their relationship to be worth something. It is worth it for them to be together because it encourages some kind of inner balance within them and between them, as people. They enjoy collaborating but that is by no means the basis of their love (and, incidentally, I think that a lot of, if not most, detective series romances fail this basic test of "would they have fallen in love if they were accountants who met on a dating app." Peter and Harriet definitely would have- would, say, Albert Campion and Amanda Fitton have? I do NOT think so).
And here's the thing- another reason why Byatt's quote above is so off-putting is that it makes it clear that not only in the text but on a meta level, the purpose of the relationships is to prove a Point. I found Roland and Maud to have zero chemistry, and honestly I was expecting them to get together 3/4 of the way through and split up at the end when it turned out they had nothing in common- it seemed like that kind of book. I was kind of stunned when they only got together at the end in an "it's meant to be" way because nothing about it seemed meant to be. They were stuck together by that one thing and they each apparently needed the relationship for some kind of self-actualization or historical rhyming or other. (Whatever I say about Ash and LaMotte... at least they seemed to like each other!)
Peter and Harriet... they get together because they love each other. Do they change over the course of Gaudy Night, and over the course of the other books they share together? Of course they do. But if it makes sense, I'll put it this way- Harriet doesn't accept Peter's proposal as proof that she got over her hangups, Harriet gets over her hangups so that she can accept Peter's proposal. Her hangups only matter because they were keeping her from this particular kind of happiness- she was a fully actualized person even with them. She is a person who does things for human reasons so that she can build a mutually happy life with the person she loves, not a little plot mannequin being moved around in order to tell the author's desired Message. People can say what they want about Gaudy Night and its flaws, but despite the intricacies of its construction, nobody can call the characters' actions and motivations anything but brutally human.
Whether within their universes or on a meta level, the books have SUCH different things to say about the value and nature of love, the place of and purpose of sex, the place of art and intellectual accomplishment in relationships, all of the above in the context of femininity… and I can't help but feel that each time, Gaudy Night wins the contest. It's possible I'm missing something major about Possession, and maybe sometime I'll post the rest of my notes about the things I disliked and people can tell me what I'm wrong about- but if nothing else it made me appreciate Gaudy Night even more, so for that I'm grateful.
#possession#as byatt#gaudy night#dorothy l sayers#lord peter wimsey#harriet vane#i'm not tagging all the characters from possession bc i don't actually really remember their full names and i'm too lazy to look them up#I also saw recs for possession for “if you like jonathan strange and mr norrell” and “if you like jfsp s9”#for jonathan strange and mr norrell i actually have several Thoughts#and am happy to share if asked#but i'm perplexed by the jfsp comparison#though a reading of ellen ash as asexual vs uncle newt would be...interesting#i guess it's based on romances contrasted through time?#also- i've seen people claim that possession is satire#to which i say#BS!!!!#the way that book is written either literally every word of it is satire and none of it is meant to be taken seriously#or it's serious as gospel#the only bits where some parts felt like they might be meant to be “satirical” in relation to other parts#came across more as caricature than anything else#cough cough lesbian feminist american professor... i mean jeez#which reminds me#any future writing i do about why i disliked possession#will have to include my take on that thing some women writers do where they're really WEIRD about how they write women#(sexually but in a way that they THINK is clinical to the point of objectivity)#while barely even describing what the men look like#and not having the women be physically attracted to them#another contrast point with sayers actually#who is perfectly prepared to have harriet be physically attracted to peter
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asyipyip · 8 months ago
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hold on everyone shut up im getting super emotional about jonathan sims
#tma#kara stop blogging#thinking about the web. thinking about how it was his first mark#and how that mark how that unaddressed trauma so deeply affected him.#and how befitting that is for the web too- to tie someone up its strands for YEARS#thinkin about how almost every single decision that man makes is made out of fear#that motherfucker has never felt safe in his god damn life you can tell and im EMOTIONAL ABOUT IT#thinking about how so much of his fear response is CONTROL because of it. His ridiculous skepticism was him trying to control it#if he denies it if he refuses to believe in it it cant hurt him#about his paranoia and desperation for knowledge is so rooted in that fear of losing control#about his entire s4 arc and grappling with becoming inhuman. about not feeling like he has any kind of personal autonomy#and how so often thats written off as him making excuses (and dont get me wrong- he makes excuses too. im not saying he doesnt) but also-#like you look at what happened with his first leitner and its like. he couldnt move. couldnt do anything to escape#and then when the other boy got taken he couldnt do anything to save him either#of course he feels like hes never had any control#of course hes desperate for knowledge- if he had only *known* what couldve happened then he couldve prevented it.#the survivors guilt is so deeply part of his character#and thats what makes jonah targeting him so fucking insidious and scary#he took his man who is already so terrified- put him in a situation where he was so out of his depth#knowing that his fear response would be to desperately try and figure out what was happening- to keep asking questions--#pulling himself deeper into the eyes influence and easily turning it around and making it Jon's fault#as if Jon isn't trapped like everyone else- it's just his fear response is so fucking perfect for the role the eye needs him to play#and then it leads to the ultimate trauma of ripping control away from Jon and forcing him to do something so fucking horrible#something he would never in a million years CHOOSE TO DO#how he's so terrified of being made a pawn and he is. playing a game against elias where he couldn't even see the board#locking him out of his own body...forcing him to open the door. like. FUCK#I MEAN FUCK DUDE. PETER LITERALLY SAYS “HE GOT YOU” WHEN JON ASKED WHAT HIS 'PRIZE' WAS#LIKE SCRATCH THAT!!! FUCKING SCRATCH THAT!! he wasn't even a player he was a fucking PIECE in the game#GOD!!!#GOD!!!! free my boy he did nothing wrong (he did so many things wrong)
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twwcs · 3 days ago
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the library scene warms my heart that they are still in each other’s side (lets just forgot the whole he needs my help with tutor and i need her help for tutor excuse cause i know they just have and neeeeddd to be close) ughh
"Dinner later?" He inquires, brow raising as he's starting to walk away. Walking backwards away from the table, his eyes on you the entire time. "Sure, I'll meet you there.." You rest your head on your hand, watching him go from where you're sitting. Watching that look on his face. A sort of satisfaction in that he's leaving but already thinking about when he gets to see you next.
just kiss already count : 1
"He's a great friend... isn't he...” He says it with a little bit of annoyance in his voice, thinking about how you two have gotten really close as friends and he didn't even know it. "Yeah he's really sweet," You smile, not really noticing his expression. You want Miguel to know that you can get along with his friends too and you can be a part of his life. "He's funny..." His brow twitches just a bit. He doesn't know how to feel about the fact that you two are friends in and out of the tutoring club. And that you're calling him sweet. And funny.
Oh honey you officially make this man brain restless with your wording😭. Just kiss already count : 2
Maybe you're just so focused on being his friend to prove to Miguel you can be part of his friend group. Miguel can feel his patience slipping. How you seem so oblivious to the fact that Peter is a huge flirt and that Peter was flirting with you earlier when he invited you to the bar. But he's been Peter's friend for years, of course he knows the girls flock around him.
LIKE WHATT JUST PLEASE DONT BE SO CRYPTIC GIVE THIS MAN HIS BREAKK
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The topic change gives him some relief. Grateful to think about something other than the image of Peter taking you home tonight. He lifts his hand, flexing a few fingers. "It's fine. Doesn't really hurt much right now. It's a good reminder to not lose my cool again... " "Yeah, that locker room hates to see you comin'..." You joke with a smile. Shaking your head.
Finally just focus on you two, let’s start from there. Just kiss already count :3
Miguel can only listen and watch this interaction between the two of you. It's like a nightmare come to life. And he's feeling claustrophobic in this crowded place with all these people. He just wants to take your hand and go back to campus, go back to your dorm, go back to the library.
Okay sir respectfully why didnt you?. But for real it’s already written there but it’s so frustrating that the reader wanna be close and fit in with miguel’s circle but honey i know you meant well but didnt you see this guy right here is a bout to combust
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'Well you all played very well..." You hum. Looking between the two boys. You can't help but notice Miguel's body language. Thinking he must just be upset that he didn't get to play because of his cast. But he did very well on the sidelines.
It’s not that ball you need to be concerned. You succeed on making them both oblivious on one another . Just kiss already count : 4
You giggle softly at Peter's joke and his obvious love for attention. Loving the way you can so casually hang out with Miguel and his friends for the first time ever. Miguel clenches his jaw, sipping his water and trying to keep his cool.
I cant defend you any more girlie, i cantttrttr
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"Um..." You're thinking. You don't really do this that often and you're finally getting to hang out with Miguel and his friends. What the hell... "Sure!" Peter flashes that charming smile at you and Miguel can feel his control slipping again. Now he's buying you drinks?
Mig, jealousy looks good on you <3
"I'm sweating..." You huff, moving to get up off the bed and his arms come to steady you. "Woah woah slow down, sweetheart..." The words ooze off his lips.
Just kiss already count : 5
Your mind filled with the thoughts of being Miguel's again. You're friends with his friends like any girlfriend would be. So what's stopping him? What's stopping both of you from just being together again? Since you've proven to him, you can fit in.
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Your hips slot between his legs, standing between them and getting closer. Fingers clenching into his shirt and smashing your lips against his. His fingers splay out, shock and surprise. His eyes wide and heart seemingly stops. You're... kissing him... you...
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"No baby... you need to go to sleep... you're drunk.." He whispers, feeling so weak, his hands running up your warm bare thighs, like medicine. His cast is slightly scratchy on your thigh. Finally your body on his, your warmths feeding off of each other. "No please... say you want me, please you have to, don't you want to?" You whine. Leaning over him and kissing his cheek, burying your face in his neck. He's speechless. Doesn't know what to say or think. He thought you were done all this time. He thought you were pining after Parker.
"I want you... I do want you..." He whispers before his mind can even think. His hands falling from your thighs and flat on the bed. It feels wrong to touch you this way. His love for you overshadows his own selfish need. You won't remember this in the morning.
I HAVE BEEN SOBBING FOR THE PAST 30 MINUTES.
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I Think I'll Keep You 5
a/n: Thank you again for your patience! I hope you guys enjoy and the next chapter is already underway and will come very soon! And some more art and bots coming out as well so look out for that!
w.c.: 10.2k NSFW MINORS DNI
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
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Chapter 5
“...accurate and efficient methods of decoding… further aiding us in understanding… um… complicated genetic codes… pushing preservation and conservation. Uhh… yeah.” Miguel sighs, sitting up in his seat and peering over your arm as you type away on his laptop. Sitting at a table in the middle of the library during tutoring hours. Your fingers typing for him as he speaks what he wants written. He can’t type. Not with his right hand totally out of commission. So he’s come to your open tutoring hours. And now you have a student to work on so you can get paid and he can get help with his work. It’s Saturday and the two of you have been practically connected at the hip for the past two days.
You woke up beside him yesterday afternoon after that late night emergency room run. Lazily, sleepily taking the rest of the day slowly. Walking across campus to get food since all you both ate the whole night was a few pieces of candy. Smiling and talking, shoes splashing in shallow puddles along the concrete. A refreshing feeling having moved on from the mess of the last few weeks. The bubble has popped. That bubble of sex and ignorance that felt so great for the both of you. Sitting in the dining hall, among the hardwood and tall, ancient windows of your old university; looking over the school grounds turned fall shades and the autumn breeze blowing in through the window. Trying to talk about anything that won’t add any more stress or tension. No talk of friends, or family, not even school. Really just talking about whatever comes into your mind. And the conversation is just so easy. It’s different to spend time with him outside of the dorm room. It didn’t happen very often before. A lot of your conversations were pillowtalk. It’s different talking about the other parts of your life that don’t take place right after doing the deed. Miguel is funny. And he’s a good listener when his mind is clear and he’s focused on you. Only you. 
Feels like things are going back to normal. Well not how it was before. A new normal. 
“I think it sounds good… it’s a little awkward in the intro still but we can fix it up later…” You assure him, fixing a few typos and reading it over. The library is nice and quiet as always. You didn’t have any other students come this afternoon so you have time to focus on this and help Miguel since you know he can’t really do it himself right now.
“I don’t know… feels like I’m missing something. I’m gonna include the research but it doesn't feel like enough.” He sighs, leaning his elbows on the table, pushing his frames further up the bridge of his nose and looking over the notes in his hand. His knee is bouncing under the table and you can feel the vibrations of it in your seat. He’s applying to the Alchemax grant program. A huge grant with a long essay to go with it, multiple letters of recommendation and a personal profile piece. Tens of thousands of dollars for his research project. And he’d basically be an intern there. Able to use their facilities and labs to complete the job and create a brand new study of his own. It would start right after graduation and almost definitely lead to a great job at Alchemax Industries. He sighs, leaning back in his seat, draping his arm over the back of your chair. 
“You okay?” You hum, observing his clearly distressed behavior. His knee bouncing, his brow furrowed, the sighs. He looks over at you, in your eyes. Don’t lie. “Yeah I’m fine… just… want to get this right.” 
You nod. Knowing that’s not all there is to it. But accepting it for now. “Well, maybe you should include some of your… personality…traits…” You suggest with a small smile, knowing that it will be like pulling teeth with him, clasping your hands in your lap and looking over at him next to you. 
“Like what. I mean… Tyler knows me. He’s the one that told me to apply.” [Tyler Stone. President and Ceo of Alchemax Industries.] He sighs, pushing his glasses up on his head, his dark curls becoming a little messy with the metal pushed through them, and rubbing the sides of his nose with his fingers. The ache of wearing his glasses for a while when he usually doesn’t like wearing them at all. But he’s worn them more often the past few days. He can see you more clearly now.  
“Yeah but he’s not the only one who’s gonna be working with you or deciding if you get the job or not. You want people to know who you are… know the kind of person you are. More often than not, that’s more important than the research when it comes to something like this. I mean, you’re not just applying for a grant, you’re applying for a job…” You explain kindly. He looks up, in your eyes, his eyes raking over your pretty face. He loves feeling like he can be close to you again. He loves feeling like he knows what’s going on in your head. Or maybe that’s just his need for control seeping in. Like venom in warm blood. Just sitting next to you like this. Even if he hasn’t so much as kissed you since everything went down. It’s only been nearly two weeks but it feels like an eternity. He wants to so badly. But he reminds himself that this is how things are right now. He messed up and he’s getting a second chance. He won’t take your forgiveness for granted. “Yeah, you’re right.” He admits, dropping the graphs and charts on the table.
“Maybe talk about family… inspirations… personal goals. People like that kind of stuff. People also want to know that you can be a part of something bigger than yourself…” You say, fingers brushing over the keys and ready to type what he says. “Uh…” He sighs, running a hand through his hair, trying to pull this out of his brain. He doesn’t really want to talk about his family. Doesn’t want to give them the satisfaction of being considered inspiration. But his upbringing and his parents’ names alone have opened a lot of doors for him in the past. His fingers fidget on the back of your chair, catching a few strands of your hair, playing with it so softly that you don’t even feel it. And he watches the side of your face to make sure you don’t notice, your eyes focused on the computer screen. Curling the strands around his finger and getting lost in touching you. Hanging on desperately to this morsel of touch. Knowing he probably shouldn’t but he just can’t help himself.
“I guess… we could say I grew up watching my parents with their business. But that’s more… financial services. When I was born, OLI was just taking off and now… I’ve watched them build it into what it is today.” He explains. You keep typing, writing it down in the notes to keep it straight. You can hear the sigh in his voice like he hates to be talking about it. You don’t know why. Mostly because he’s never spoken about this before. But if he’s applying for such a big opportunity then it’s important to include.
“OLI, I’ve heard of that, I think…” You look over at him, unsure what that stands for but you know you’ve heard that acronym before, or maybe you’ve seen it somewhere? 
“O’hara Legacy Investments.” He says with a nod and sigh, a level of disdain in his tone. He leans forward, his mind still on this essay. On beefing it up with info that might secure him this grant. Even though he’s confident his connections will get him in. There’s always a chance things might not go his way. He wants to prepare for every possible outcome. He hates to feel out of control. You stop typing. That sounds like investment banking. Like the kind of thing that makes people billionaires. 
“Is that the… that tall building downtown?” You ask, looking over at him and he nods, a blank stare in his eyes as he’s looking down at the research notes. “Your family runs that?”
“Yep.” He sighs, not offering more information so you don’t ask for more.
“Okay sooo… how would that influence your work at Alchemax?” You prompt, trying to veer back on course. You can tell he’s losing steam, you’ve been at this a while. 
“So I guess it’s not really the same as what I would be doing at Alchemax but… Watching how that runs… how many people it takes to keep something running like that. I guess something about leading teams of people working towards a goal…” He keeps thinking out loud and you keep typing, interpreting his words into organized notes and ideas. “So.. maybe about you as a leader? You think you can be a good leader…” 
“Yeah. I think so… and soccer, we could include that too.” He says, perking up and sitting up a bit straighter. Although the topic of soccer does bring his anxiety levels up a bit. Watching you type while playing with a piece of frayed material on his cast. “Yeah, captain of the soccer team, sports is always something they want to hear. If you’re a leader… organizer. And coming from SU especially, they love to see it.” You agree, typing and compiling the thoughts that come to mind. “And to know you can work in a team…” 
Miguel nods. Feeling relieved that you’re able to help him with this. He did all the more technical notes for it over the past few weeks. Organized lots of thoughts and data to start the writing process. Then he broke his fingers and that put a wrench in the process. It’s due next week and without you he’d be screwed. But it works out sort of perfectly, and a little selfishly, that now he’s spending more time with you because of that. “I think also…” 
He starts. You look over, ready to type whatever he suggests. “I’m an older brother too… that’s… I don’t know…” He mumbles. You find yourself smiling. “I feel like… maybe being a leader in that way is different.” 
“It’s very different, yes…” You nod, looking back at the laptop screen, a smile dancing on your lips. “Maybe something about… protecting… looking out for those that are important to me. Or being a good role model I guess…” He sighs. Thinking. About Gabriel. About you. Pretty much the two most important people in his life. I guess I haven’t been a very good role model as of late. 
“Loyalty… role model…” You say and nod. Typing those words in the compilation of notes you’re making in the margins. His knee is still bouncing.
“I also think you’re very passionate…” You say. He looks over at you, the side of your face, watching you type more things in the notes. Trying to create a section of his essay that can portray him as not just another applicant. “I think I’m just generally angry… I don’t really think before I do things…” He scoffs, shaking his head and leaning forward, his arms on the table, his head resting down on his forearms, looking at your pretty face from this angle. You grin and nod, giving him a look. “Yeah but we don’t have to include that… passion works…” 
He laughs through his nose, blinking softly and admiring your face. Watching your pretty eyes, the light of the computer screen reflecting in them, making them especially sparkly. It’s quiet for a moment, just the clicks of keys and fingertips. He thinks, reflecting on all that’s happened in the past few weeks. That thing with Dana keeps coming to mind. That was really a moment of lost control. Is that the passion you’re talking about? That he loses control and can’t get it back until it’s almost too late? He worries about that. Not remembering most of it because he was so angry. It sort of feels like a dream. Especially since he fought with you right after that and then everything went right to shit. 
All he knows is that Dana made it back to his dorm. He knows for a fact nothing happened. He wouldn’t have wanted it anyway because he despises her and she was drunk off her ass. But she did lie on his bed. Her perfume was all over him. And he remembers standing over her and wanting to make her hate him. Just so that she would leave him alone. That’s a level of anger he never wants you to witness, or anyone really for that matter. It scares him a bit now to think of it. All he knows is that if you think he’s loyal, he’ll be loyal as a dog. If you think he’s passionate, he’ll be a raging, burning fire to keep you warm. You think he’s anything, he’ll be that. If you want him to be. 
He fidgets with the fray on his cast. Coming off the blue material. His gaze caught on the little cursive “mine” you wrote. That night in the drug store. When you were both so deliriously tired, sitting in the middle of the floor. Having this on his arm is like a reminder. Or a promise. That maybe you’ll be his or he’ll be yours again. He’ll just have to be patient. His thumb brushes over the word, like making sure the letters won’t fall off, making sure they’re stained into the blue permanently. Do you even remember writing this? He thinks. Or were you so tired it feels like a dream? His bouncing knee still vibrates against your chair. 
“Anything else for today? We did a lot…” You ask, looking over at him. Bringing him out of his thoughts. “No, I think that’s good, thank you… but maybe next week we can finalize things and you can help me edit it?” He asks hopefully. “Yeah definitely, I’ll block out some time for you…” 
He nods, sighing and pulling his glasses off his head. Folding them up in his hand and collecting his papers. You just save the document, debating in your head the words on your tongue. Closing the laptop so he can pack it up in his bag. 
“So… you wanna tell me what’s stressing you out?” You ask, turning in your seat to face him and leaning your elbow on the table, head in your hand. He stops what he’s doing, putting down the stack of notebooks. “You can read my mind…” He smiles. 
“No, you’ve just been bouncing your knee against my chair for the past hour.” You sigh, smiling soft but sympathetic at him. His shoulders slump. “Oh sorry…” He shakes his head, feeling embarrassed for being so obvious, pinching the bridge of his nose in his fingers. 
“It’s okay… Is it the grant? I think your essay will be good enough…” You hum. Noticing all of his distress and not wanting him to be freaking out over something he’s already spent so long working on. “No it’s not… I… I’m really glad you can help me with it. Thank you… I’m just worried about the game tomorrow…” He nods. And it dawns on you. “Ohh…”
“I actually should get going… have a meeting with the coach. Figure out how we’re gonna pull this off…” He sighs, getting up from his seat to gather his things. He’s been wracked with anxiety about the game ever since putting two and two together that he’s out for the next few weeks. It’s against the rules for someone to play with a plaster cast on and he’s nowhere near getting that removed. So the team will have to supplement him. 
“You’re not gonna play are you? You shouldn’t… not with your hand like that.” You insist, watching him get up, pulling on his jacket precariously with his one working hand. He can hear the concern in your voice. “I can’t. It's an instant disqualification… so I have to talk to Coach and maybe I’ll just assistant coach tomorrow, I don’t know…” He sighs, knowing it’ll be a struggle for the team to play without him. And they very well might not win. This is a university proud of its win streak so far. 
“If it hurts, let Coach know… you don’t have to do anything that’s uncomfortable.” You advise softly. Wanting him to be comfortable. Always. That look of care on your face makes him feel a little warm. Making him feel a little soft and fuzzy inside. He can’t remember ever being worried over like that. He clears his throat, trying not to let that feeling get to him too much, shoving his laptop in his bag and zipping it up. “I will… don’t worry about me…” 
He says it but he doesn’t really mean it. Although he doesn't want you to be anxious; he definitely doesn’t need to inflict any more emotional pain on you, he’s done more than enough of that over the past few weeks… he does want you to care. Or it’s more like… once he realized you actually do care, now he doesn’t want to lose that. 
“Just be careful… I know you’ll do well and the team will be fine…” You smile gently. Clicking your pen and watching him getting ready to leave. His bag slung over his shoulder. “Thank you… yeah I just need to chill.” He sighs, moving his hurt hand around absentmindedly to soothe the ache. “Well… the feeling you’re having just means you care. It’s a good feeling, even though it’s scary…” 
He looks in your eyes, down at where you’re still sitting. Feeling struck by your words. You’ve always been so good at that. You always know exactly what to say when he needs to hear it. He hopes to do the same for you one day. If only he can figure out how you manage to do it every time. He just nods in thanks, a renewed sense of relief inside. 
“Dinner later?” He inquires, brow raising as he’s starting to walk away. Walking backwards away from the table, his eyes on you the entire time. 
“Sure, I’ll meet you there…” You rest your head on your hand, watching him go from where you’re sitting. Watching that look on his face. A sort of satisfaction in that he’s leaving but already thinking about when he gets to see you next. He nods. Turning towards the library doors and smiling to himself, making his way out. Sneakers tapping on the hardwood floors of the academic building, sparing you one last glance. Finding your eyes still on him. A stupid sort of giddy feeling in his chest. Lopsided grin on his lips as he leaves the library.
“O’hara! Dude.” Peter’s voice brings him out of his flurry of thoughts. Watching his friend march down the rest of the hall to him. “Where you been? You disappeared again…” Peter chuckles.
“Oh yeah I‘ve just been… busy in the lab and stuff… and my application.” He lies. While it’s true he has been working on his application and piles of homework, he’s also been actively avoiding all of his friends ever since your fight. Unable to handle even the slightest of social interaction. His mind set on you and only you. But he won’t tell Peter that. 
“Dana said you were being crazy or something…” Peter huffs, his brow quirked in disbelief. Miguel’s heart starts to beat a little harder at that. Did Dana tell everyone what happened? Or her version of what happened? “What did she say?”
“Well… she’s kinda implying that you two hooked up after the party last week…” Miguel’s eyes widen at that news. It’s just not true. But that seems to be the story everyone believes so far. “MJ thinks she’s full of shit bu-"
“She is full of shit.” Miguel sighs. Pinching the bridge of his nose. Or trying to with his cast. It was a foolish thing to give into his anger and take Dana back to his dorm. But he didn’t sleep with her. He’s not surprised though that she’s spreading that rumor around. It wouldn’t be the first time. 
“Shit, what happened?!” Peter flips, looking down at the cast engulfing Miguel’s forearm to the tips of his fingers. Looking at the seemingly broken hand, his eyes scanning over Miguel as a whole. Feeling like he has no idea what’s going on with someone who’s supposed to be his closest friend. “I broke my wrist but it’s fine, doctor says it’ll be fine even without surgery.”
“It’s fine?! What about the game?” Peter asks in panic, running a hand through his previously neat light brown locks. It’s against policy rules to play with a hard plaster cast for the safety of the other players and teammates. But Miguel’s the captain, their top offense and shooter. 
“I’ll be on the sidelines and Miller and Durante can take care of it.”
“It’s Princeton, Miguel. We’re gonna get fuckin’ smoked out there…” Peter huffs, going on and on but Miguel just shakes his head, feeling that anxiety rising again. The anxiety you were able to dampen only moments ago. “I know it sucks… I know. But those new drills have been helping… I’m gonna talk to coach.” 
“Alright… but Marco and Santiago need to get their asses in order before tomorrow. I’m not playing defense because they can’t pay attention to the fucking ball.” 
“I know, I know…” Miguel sighs and nods. Knowing this is all bad timing. They’ve been preparing for this game for a while now and it’s a pretty big spectacle. The stands will undoubtedly be full to the brim. It makes him tense and anxious to think about.
“Okay…” Peter huffs, running a hand through his hair. “Well, text me what Coach says…” He sighs, lifting his fist. Their knuckles colliding as he’s starting to walk off to where he’s going. “No more disappearing…” Peter chuckles, looking back as he starts walking down the hall, pointing a finger at his friend. “Yeah, yeah…”
“Alright, I’ll see you later.” Peter says with a nod, his hands in his pockets as he rounds the corner, walking into the library. Miguel sighs, feeling that tension, that tomorrow might not go well and it’ll be all his fault. Because he can’t do more to help the team he’s supposed to be leading.
He jogs down the stairs, down another hallway and outside. The fall breeze and smell of the trees and crisp autumn air flows past his cheeks, blowing back the little curls by his ears. Hunching his shoulders up when the brisk air cools his neck, pulling his collar up and walking across the commons to get to the athletic building on the other side of campus. To meet with Coach about the game plan for tomorrow. 
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“Come on guys, one more time!” Miguel calls out to the team. Dressed in his uniform, dark blue and silver stripes, school colors with the Sterling University crest on his arm, a C on his chest. Number 99 on his back. Cleats and his cast to match. It does suck he has to miss out on actually playing but he does a lot of assistant coaching as captain anyway so it’s nothing he’s not used to. Coach Dean is talking with the referees anyway. Schmoozing on the sidelines, convinced it’ll earn them less whistles through the game. 
Miguel sighs, anxious, shaking his head and directing his attention to the mobs of people filling the stands. The sun is setting, the field lights coming on and a slight chill filling the air. A buzz with that too. College soccer fans here as well as lots of students from both universities. People are excited. The team is excited as well as anxious without Miguel playing beside them. Knowing they’ll have to supplement him being out. Miguel huffs, stretching his arms and wincing slightly at the remnants of ache in his wrist, his breath fogging in the cold air.
“Come on… si yeah! ¡Mantén la posesión!" He shouts from the sides, watching the team warming up with the drills and keeping order, following them up and down their half of the field. “Marco!¡Sigue presionando! Call for it!" A mix of Spanish and English naturally leave his lips. Dark eyes follow their form and technique. Keeping everyone in order. They’re doing really well as always. But Miguel would prefer perfection. “Good! Alright break!” He shouts.
The team all relaxes, sighing in relief and collecting on the sidelines near the bench. Some passing the ball back and forth. The goalie is doing some technique in the practice nets with Durante and Miller. Others glancing at the opposing team warming up on their side of the field. “Marco, you’re gonna break you’re fuckin’ ankle doing that. Keep it light, it doesn’t have to be so fast. Slow down and go through the steps, alright?” Miguel instructs calmly, grabbing a ball and demonstrating on the turf by the benches. Marco nods, wiping his brow with the edge of his jersey. 
“Just like that… keep it loose and look at Miller, he’s the one you’re paying attention to. Don’t look at Durante, he’s gonna be looking at Miller for that pass down the field. But that was still good, keep it up..” 
“There’s a lot of people here…” Peter comments, squirting some water into his mouth, catching his breath. Miguel walks over from helping Marco, standing beside his friend and looking out at the people in the stands. It’s a little more than they’re used to. Little intimidating considering this stadium seats thousands of people.
“It’s a big game…” Miguel huffs, grabbing his water bottle. Wish I could fucking play… he thinks. Glancing at Coach, still talking to the refs near the midline. They have a little while before everything starts.
It’s the end of the first half and it’s been a good game so far. Princeton is good but so is Sterling. They’d be better if Miguel was on the field to help them. He finds himself getting frustrated on the sidelines, disagreeing with the refs calls and calling out to his teammates, trying to lead and instruct. The whistle blows and the team finally relaxes. Panting and walking over to the sidelines. 
“They’re fast…” Marco pants, plopping down on the bench to catch his breath. “We have to be faster… but we’re holding our own…” Miguel says, hands on his hips and looking over the team, trying to keep the edge from his tone. He’s here to lead, not berate.
“You good?” He sees Peter covered in grass stains. Peter’s the one that’s been scoring pretty much all the goals so far. Princeton’s defense is good. It’s one of those games where no one’s going to score very many goals, it’s all about making sure the other team doesn’t get too close. “That was really good, keep doing that. And if it works better for Marco to go up the right side, then do that.” Miguel says. 
“I will… they’re so fuckin fast…” Peter pants, grabbing his water bottle and squirting some in his mouth. Breathing heavy through his nose. The team takes a few minutes at halftime to refuel and plan for the second half. Peter and Marco will have to be smart about the next plays. They’re down by two and the other team just keeps getting closer and closer. 
“I got a girl in the stands…” Peter says with a lopsided smile, still out of breath, spraying some more water into his mouth. “Yeah?” Miguel’s brow quirks at that information. He knows Peter has a lot of girls around him and friends that are girls. Makes sense, he’s very smart, an athlete, loud and the life of the party. Everyone always trying to get a piece of him. Not a foreign concept to Miguel himself. Miguel grabs his water bottle too, raising it to his mouth. “Who is she?” 
“Her name’s y/n…” 
What?
“...yeah you should meet her… she’s really pretty and smart and funny...” 
What?
Peter keeps talking, tossing a ball to someone else across the bench. Not even registering the look on Miguel’s face. Like shock and something else. Something Miguel himself can’t put a finger on. And Miguel can only half listen to Peter’s words. “She’s head of the tutoring club… did I tell you I started doing that? Dude, I’m getting paid to do some freshman’s homework and get course credit. It's like the easiest shit in the world…” Peter laughs, talking on and on. 
Miguel doesn’t understand. It’s like his brain can’t process this. Staring at Peter silently and waiting for him to say it’s a joke. But how could it be a joke?
“She’s riiiiight… there-” Peter turns, pointing at the stands. Turning stiffly, Miguel looks out to where he’s pointing. His dark eyes searching the stands and looking for your face. Hoping to see some stranger who happens to have the same name as you. But no. It’s you. 
He watches your gaze snap onto them, seeming surprised to have both their attention now. How did he not notice? You’ve been here this whole time, sitting nearly 15 rows behind him and he didn’t know? But Peter knew?
He can’t help that his immediate reaction to seeing you is relief. Seeing you up there and he just wants to smile. Wants to disappear with you and forget this stressful game. You’re like… his best friend in the whole world. But then that relief is quickly quelled when he realizes Peter is the one who invited you, he’s the reason you’re here. 
Miguel huffs. Nearly getting hit in the face when Peter starts waving at you. Stepping back and trying to make sense of this. There you are, waving back their way. What is this? He wonders. Unable to help the scowl that appears on his face as he observes Peter waving. What is this happening that he doesn’t know about or had no idea could even happen? Another bubble has popped and he didn’t even know it. 
He looks back up at you. Your eyes looking his way. But are you looking at him or are you looking at Peter? He hates that he can’t even tell. He hopes it’s him but it’s too much distance to know for sure. He just holds up a hand weakly. Waving at you. Feeling like an idiot, a total fool. And here Peter is waving at you, thinking Miguel doesn’t even know who you are. Fuck.
“Alright boys! Let’s huddle up!” Coach yells, coming over to the bench and motioning for everyone to come over. Peter moves to head over, gently kicking a ball on his way. And Miguel can’t help but keep glancing at you. Feeling self conscious. You’ve been watching him and witnessing all of this, this entire time? He didn’t even know you were here and half of the game had already been played. And all he’s done is stand on the sidelines while Peter played big shot scorer. 
Your hands wave at him, mouthing something he can’t make out. His brow knitting together as you try to communicate something to him before Coach snaps again. 
“O’hara!” 
His eyes snap to the team huddled by the bench. Taking long strides to get over there. But his mind is a mess. He didn’t even know you knew each other. 
The second half, the rest of the game, it’s hard for Miguel to focus on coaching. He’s watching the team play but it’s like a delayed reaction in his mind. Like his body is here but his brain is trying to tap into some invisible signal stretching from you to him. Peter scores again and Miguel flinches at the sound of the stands erupting. Cheering and echoing through his head. Pounding the sides of his skull.
He can’t help but glance your way every chance he gets. But every time he’s able to spot you in the sea of colors and foreign faces, you’re looking at the ball on the field. Which is always in Peter’s possession. And he can’t focus on anything except what he doesn’t know. What he can’t control. 
“Wooooo!” Marco hollers, the team gathering in a huddle on the field and celebrating their close victory. They won, but it was a tough game. Miguel stares almost blankly as the team all slaps hands and says good game. And by the time he snaps out of it, turning to find you, the stands are already emptying out and you’re gone from your seat. 
“O’hara!” The team shouts, bringing him out of the mess of thoughts. The players crowding him in celebration on the sidelines. Cheers and loud voices. Talking about moments in the game, highlights, certain techniques that had Princeton on their toes. All in all it was an exciting match and Peter was definitely the savior, scoring more goals than anyone and making the game. And Peter is all smiles. 
The team heads back to the locker room. Showering and warming down from the game. Miguel stands at his locker. His new locker since the punched in door wouldn’t close properly on his old one. Pulling off his jersey carefully with one hand and hanging it up. Wiping down his broad chest with a towel and hearing Peter with some of the boys walking in from the showers. His movements slow, brow furrowing, grabbing his change of clothes and pulling a tank top on, the black material bunching down his toned abdomen against his deep skin. Listening to Peter’s voice. 
His mind races. Since when did you two become such good friends? And why wouldn’t I know you were coming to the game when I saw you all day yesterday? Does Peter know that? Does Peter know we spend countless hours together? Does Peter know we have this deep connection that I’m actually working really hard to repair? He ought to. 
He listens to Peter’s conversation, as if waiting for him to say your name to confirm he’s talking about you. But he can’t make it out all the way. Something about a party, something about his car, something about the game. He watches the rest of the guys leave the locker room. Peter walks by with the guys and he just subtly, silently glares as they pass, not noticing him. pulling his hoodie on and shutting his locker gently. Pulling his phone off the charger and slinging his sports bag over his shoulder, walking out. 
He slumps down the concrete steps, the hallway leading to the exit doors, opening out to the athletic parking lot. Raking a hand through his hair, his mind a mess. He’s not used to feeling so beaten down after a game. They won, he should be happy. He should be glad. But he just feels indifferent. Or he just really needs to see you. 
When the door swings from someone else leaving, he catches a glimpse of you through the opening. The bright lights from outside assault his eyes as the door swings again. Seeing you for just a moment. Just a split second. Talking with Peter against the fence. He stops. What is he walking into? What’s about to change? You’re gonna be there right when he goes through that door. He stands in the dim concrete tunnel, feeling his heart race. He doesn’t like this feeling. This is the loss of control.
“Miguel!” Peter smiles, making you turn to look back. And there he is, walking out the door. You want to just run into his arms and tell him how great he was. Even though he didn't get to play he still coached very well and played his part in the victory. But Peter is talkative and gets in there before you can. And you don't really want to interrupt when he's talking with his friends. Since this is the first time you've been around his friends with him. 
“We’re gonna get drinks, you have to come” Peter says, ushering Miguel over to where you’re standing. “This is y/n… y/n this is Miguel” 
“Yeah we know each other.” Miguel says immediately. Not a hint of a smile on his face. He’s annoyed with Peter. Annoyed that it’s not a known thing. He wants it to be known that you two are an item. Or… that there’s something going on… he’s not even sure of at the moment. At least that Peter should know to back off. “Oh cool, so drinks?” 
Miguel’s a little astonished with how easily Peter just brushed that off. Eyes flicking between you two and hoping to god you don’t accept the drink invite. But he bites his tongue. Friends. Really good… friends. 
“Uh… I don’t know, I’m kinda tired…” You sigh. Part of you not wanting to go since it’s not your normal scene but a bigger part needing to go so you can feel like you’re really one of Miguel’s friends. Not someone he has to hide. That you can get along with them and be a part of his life. That’s all you want to prove to him. 
“Come on… please?” Peter pouts. And Miguel wants to scream. Trying to tell you with his eyes that he doesn’t want to do this. Not right now. Maybe later when he’s had time to mentally prepare himself. It doesn’t help that you look adorable right now. In your Sterling Uni hoodie with a scarf to keep warm. He doesn’t want to do this. He’d rather just go to dinner. Like always. Talk for hours and maybe even fall asleep talking in your dorm like always. Not this. Please not this. 
His eyes burning a hole right through you, trying to communicate it without using the words since he can’t right now, not with Peter standing right there. Part of him wants you to come and show you off. The other part of him wants you all to himself, not wanting to share you with anyone. But he’s trying to be better. Trying to control himself rather than try to control everything else around him. 
“It would be fun, right Miguel?” Peter asks, bringing him out of his thoughts. He wants to say no. Wants to say fuck no and disappear, taking you with him. But he can’t do that now. So he just nods stiffly, forcing a smile. Almost painfully. “Yeah… come…” 
Your eyes light up and Miguel knows he’s done for. “Oh great!” You smile and Peter is instantly excited too. Talking about how great it’s going to be and how many people will be there. Miguel’s heart is pounding, seeing how easily Peter was able to get you to come. How Peter is smiling and looking at you. A sense of dread filling his chest.
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It’s the usual bar. The college bar around the corner from campus where the sports teams usually congregate after a game. Or the general student body on a Friday night. Loud music and conversation, the place is packed. Football and UFC playing on the multitude of TVs hanging in the place. The team filters in all acting like they own this place. Playing pool and getting drinks, talking to girls in corners and at the bar. It’s a crazy night at least for you. Miguel’s seen nights like this before, but this time you’re here. And he won’t let you out of his sight. Even as people talk to him, trying to strike up conversation and catch up. Since everyone knows who he is and knows his name. He still keeps his attention focused on you. He doesn’t care about anyone else in this bar tonight. 
Drinks flow the second everyone is in there, laughter and loud voices, trying to be heard over the music. Miguel keeps his arm barred at your side to help get you through the density of people. Like a shield to make sure no one bumps into you. Not wanting you to be too claustrophobic or crowded. Staying nearby until you find two seats at the bar miraculously. As you sit down, Miguel quickly scans the room. Looking for one face in particular. No sign of Dana and he can relax a tiny bit. Sliding into his stool seat beside you. 
He sits down, watching how you observe the place, looking a little out of your element here. It’s clear you’re not a party girl. You’re a smart, intelligent tutor and it shows. It would almost be comical if Miguel didn’t have a fierce determination to protect you in this place. 
He leans over, getting closer to your ear to be heard over the noise. The smell of your shampoo mixed with your perfume, so close and familiar, filling his senses and almost making him dizzy. His mind flashing with moments of you in his bed. Your body under his and his face buried in your soft sweet smelling hair. He’s the only one in this bar that knows what you sound like when you come.
“Drink… Do you want a drink?” He asks, trying to be heard over the noise, his cheek brushing against yours. Pulling back to hear your response. “Yeah! Whatever is fine…” You smile, trying to speak over the chaos of people and stimulation. A bit out of your element but doing fine. Excited to be here with him and feel like you’re fitting into his world. 
He gets the bartender's attention, ordering you just a beer in a bottle. He doesn’t know if you’d want anything fruity, not that this crappy bar would have anything that good anyway. He’s never drunk with you before. He slides it over to you, watching you take a gulp and smile. You’re so out of your element here. He sighs. A swell in his chest. 
Even though he would normally be drinking a couple beers himself, he just has water in front of him. He wants to stay relatively sober. Enough to keep watch over you and make sure no one else talks to you. “Oh, I thought you were gonna get the same thing…” You chuckle, leaning your elbows on the bar and watching him sipping his water from a plastic cup. 
“Someone needs to be responsible for all these people right?” He chuckles. As captain of the team he actually does feel that responsibility. To keep people in line since he knows they’ll listen to him. “And I need to be sober if I’m carrying you out of this place drunk off your ass…” He jokes, teasing you. 
“I’m not getting drunk tonight, no way. No thank you…” You sigh, shaking your head. Looking down at the label on the bottle in your hand. Then your eyes dart around the crowded room a few times. He just looks at your face. You’re so pretty. Especially pretty in this low light. 
“Well how is the beer at least? I know it’s not something sweet but it’s probably the best thing they have here.” He huffs, keeping his eyes on you, studying you. He’d love to just be all over you and show people that you’re his. But you’re not right now. You’re his friend and that’s the boundary you both set. He’s trying his best to uphold that after his mistakes. “It’s fine… I don’t ever drink much anyway so I’m not picky…” 
He nods. Learning more about you all the time. The two of you have never been out to a bar or club before so this is all brand new. He can see how you’re a little nervous in this place. It’s not your usual hangout spot and he can tell. “Yeah, this place is pretty chaotic tonight…” He comments, looking around then back at you. “You’re okay though, right?” 
“Yeah I’m fine…” You smile. Clasping your hands in your lap. He’s attentive, more recently than ever. It’s true that he’s become like your best friend over the last month and a half. Even though it hasn’t been that long, it’s felt like a lifetime. And with how much time you spend together, it still feels like he separates you from a lot of the other parts of his life. Friends, family, everything else. You spot Peter across the way standing with some people. The only other person you even know in this place. 
Miguel follows your gaze over towards where Peter is and he can't help but wonder why you're looking at Peter or what you're thinking. He looks at the group of people around him, recognizing teammates and classmates, but notices Peter in particular.He tries to remain cool, looking back at you. "He's a great friend… isn't he… "
He says it with a little bit of annoyance in his voice, thinking about how you two have gotten really close as friends and he didn't even know it.
"Yeah he's really sweet," You smile, not really noticing his expression. You want Miguel to know that you can get along with his friends too and you can be a part of his life. "He's funny…"
His brow twitches just a bit. He doesn't know how to feel about the fact that you two are friends in and out of the tutoring club. And that you’re calling him sweet. And funny. He knows how charismatic and charming Peter is, knowing he could get any girl he wants. "He always gets the girls…  he's quite the flirt…" He mumbles.
"Oh really?" You smile and scrunch your nose up, looking back at Peter and seeing that yes, there are many girls around him right now. And he must be very popular with the girls, you think. You hadn't really noticed that Peter was a flirt but you think he's charming. Maybe you're just so focused on being his friend to prove to Miguel you can be part of his friend group.
Miguel can feel his patience slipping. How you seem so oblivious to the fact that Peter is a huge flirt and that Peter was flirting with you earlier when he invited you to the bar. But he's been Peter's friend for years, of course he knows the girls flock around him. It just annoys him that you’re completely oblivious to it. He watches you watching Peter across the room, trying not to let it show on his face how frustrated he is.
"How's your hand?" You ask, taking a sip from your bottle. Gesturing towards his cast in his lap. Trying to talk over the noise in the room. The topic change gives him some relief. Grateful to think about something other than the image of Peter taking you home tonight. He lifts his hand, flexing a few fingers. "It's fine. Doesn't really hurt much right now. It's a good reminder to not lose my cool again… "
"Yeah, that locker room hates to see you comin’…" You joke with a smile. Shaking your head. Punched his locker like some guy in a movie.
Miguel can't help but smile, knowing you’re referring to him punching the front of his locker like a crazy person. He sighs, knowing it was stupid and a loss of control. "That locker had it coming though…"
You laugh at his words, his eyes lighting up watching your head throw back a bit. The fluttering sound of your laughter carrying slightly over the noise in the room and hitting his ears. He wants to make you laugh like that all the time. Make you smile like this every day. And  Peter works his way through the room over to the bar. 
"There you guys are! I thought I lost you…" Peter's face lights up when he gets closer, excited to see his best friend and you, the pretty tutor. He stands behind both your chairs putting his hands on the backs of them. Miguel’s eyes flick back-and-forth between you two. You're still oblivious. Smiling at Peter like you don't know what he's doing. Every instinct inside of him telling him to make Peter back off. But he's trying to be better for you. Trying not to lose control or act impulsive. 
"Spending the night bragging, are you?" You smile and tease Peter lightly. Leaning over the back of your chair. He did score a lot of the winning goals tonight. Peter laughs and loves any attention from you. Miguel can only listen and watch this interaction between the two of you. It's like a nightmare come to life. And he's feeling claustrophobic in this crowded place with all these people. He just wants to take your hand and go back to campus, go back to your dorm, go back to the library.
"Well you all played very well…" You hum. Looking between the two boys. You can't help but notice Miguel’s body language. Thinking he must just be upset that he didn't get to play because of his cast. But he did very well on the sidelines. 
"Peter here was especially on his game today. Princeton is tough…" Miguel says with tension in his tone, finally joining in on the conversation. His eyes flicking between the two of you but landing on you mostly. Watching your reaction to Peter's words.
"It's all in the foot work really. Reading the opponent… Gotta think about 10 steps ahead." Peter says with a grin, in his element. Miguel has to stop himself from rolling his eyes. As much as he loves Peter, he wants him to fuck off right now.
You giggle softly at Peter's joke and his obvious love for attention. Loving the way you can so casually hang out with Miguel and his friends for the first time ever. Miguel clenches his jaw, sipping his water and trying to keep his cool. You take a sip of your beer finding it's the last one, putting the empty bottle back on the bar. It seems both boys take notice. 
"Can I get you another? "Peter asks, His eyes lighting up.
“Um…" You're thinking. You don't really do this that often and you're finally getting to hang out with Miguel and his friends. What the hell… "Sure!"
Peter flashes that charming smile at you and Miguel can feel his control slipping again. Now he's buying you drinks? 
"I got it." Miguel suddenly says, waving to the bartender for another round. If anyone's getting you drunk tonight, it's gonna be him. So he can make sure you're okay. “Okayyy…” Peter huffs softly, raising his brow at Miguel’s rivalry. But Miguel doesn’t care. Grabbing the fresh cold beer bottle and sliding it over the bar in front of you. Looking back up at Peter, a stern expression on his face. 
Over the next hour and your next two beers, Peter just won’t go away. He’s practically hanging on your chair, talking to you about whatever. And because you’re so nice and sweet you just keep giving into him. Smiling at Miguel too like you want him to be in on the conversation. But it just makes him feel worse somehow. Is he really losing you to Parker? Is that how this is gonna go? 
“So… you guys are like best friends?” You ask, your words slightly slurred, cheeks pink and flushed. You’re tipsy and Miguel’s watching you like a hawk. Your beer shined lips as you smile up at Peter. So damn cute and pretty. “We are… best friends…” Peter says in a cocky way. Grabbing Miguel’s shoulder and shaking it a few times, a beer in his other hand. Miguel might be the only sober one in this place and it’s getting annoying. 
He fidgets with the same fray on his cast, pulling on it and pulling on it. Watching you talk to Peter. Forcing a smile when you look his way. It’s getting unbearable. Eyes flicking around the crowded room and just wanting to get out of here. 
“One more round?” Peter asks and Miguel groans internally. You’re both drunk, everybody is drunk and he just wants to get you back somewhere it’s safer. Peter gets to chatting loudly with some other people down the bar.
“Do you wanna leave?” You lean over, getting closer to Miguel, right up to his face and he just gives you a soft look. Admiring your pretty flushed features. He can see you’ve been having fun. “No, I’m good, we can stay if you want…” He hums gently. 
“Don’t lie, Mig…” You whisper, barely loud enough for him to hear over the noise. And his brow knits together, hearing the nickname, your soft warm voice, wanting to reach out and brush your hair back, kiss your pretty pink lips. Anything. “I’m a little tired…” He admits. And even in your tipsy state, you know it’s time to go. 
“Let’s go then… it’s too loud…” You sigh, a distracted Peter now talking loudly with Marco and Miller down the bar. Relief, Miguel thinks. He does really want to make sure you get back to your dorm okay. 
“Wai-I ‘ave a question…” You slur, hanging onto him and pressed up against his chest as he’s trying to get you over to bed. His big strong arms around you and it feels so good, feels so right. What you’ve been missing all this time and now it just feels like everything is perfect and everything is good and… and your tongue still tastes like beer and… and he smells so good. 
“Yeah, what's your question?” He asks so soft and gently. His voice is like smooth melted butter mixed with sweet brown sugar. Bringing you over to your bed and sitting you down on the edge. Making sure you don’t topple over. “Hold still, I’m gonna take your shoes off…” 
“D’you think… that… um…” You sigh, the alcohol clouding everything making you instantly forget what you were about to ask him. But the thought is mixing around your brain just waiting to come out. After all, it’s all you were thinking about all night. “M-my shoe is stuck”
“I know, I’m trying to get it off…” He sighs, unable to stop the smile when he hears your little whine. You are pretty cute like this and he likes helping you. Kneeling down in front of you and taking your shoe onto his knee to undo the laces, slipping it off.
“Do you think that… all your friends… that they like-like it?” You sigh, wiggling your toes in your socks as he slides your shoe off. His hands on your calves, absentmindedly caressing up and down, having you in his hands like this is too good to pass up, but he looks up at you at your question. His brow furrowing, wondering what you mean. “Do they like what,-?” He almost called you baby right there. But stopped himself. Maybe it’s just being like this with you right now. Being close and finally being needy for his help, needing him in any way. Or the way you seem so soft and fragile right now he just wants to protect you. 
“That they like me…” You sigh. Pushing a hand through your hair and he pulls your other shoe off, your feet freeing and legs dangling off the side of the bed. 
He looks up at you, piecing together your broken sentence. Do his friends like you? Peter? 
“Like P-peter… does Peter like me?” You ask and his expression goes serious. Swallowing thickly and setting your shoes to the side. He knows the answer. He knows that Peter obviously has a thing for you. It’s becoming more clear you have a thing for him too. 
Miguel straightens back up, standing over you and listening to your drunken rambling. Your mumbles. “Cuz I think Peter is really nice and I think you and I can be friends… and I can be friends with your friends too…” 
He doesn’t understand what you mean. Towering over you and feeling so blocked up. Like he’s miles away from where he wants to be with you. He wants you to want him. Not think about Peter. 
“Uh… I think Peter likes you, yeah…” He mumbles. Looking down at your face. The way it lights up and his heart falls. “Really? So we can all be friends?” 
His heart hurts, looking in your eyes. So confused, not knowing what to think. But wishing he could just kiss you right now and make your thoughts stop. Or to fill your thoughts with him. If he kissed you right now would you forget Peter ever existed? If he kissed you right now, if he laid you down and pumped into you until you were a crying trembling moaning mess like all those times before, would you forget Peter and think about him again? 
“I’m sweating…” You huff, moving to get up off the bed and his arms come to steady you. “Woah woah slow down, sweetheart…” The words ooze off his lips. His hands guide you before you reassure him you can walk. He huffs, watching you walk over to your closet. He sits down on the edge of your bed, head in his hands. Feeling pathetic and so lost. Not even knowing what to do at this point. Has he actually lost you for good? Will he actually only ever be your friend now?
You’re sweating, pulling at the material of your hoodie and ripping it off over your head. Slipping your pants off and sighing in relief. Standing in your panties and bra by the dresser and looking for some comfy clothes. Your mind filled with the thoughts of being Miguel’s again. You’re friends with his friends like any girlfriend would be. So what’s stopping him? What’s stopping both of you from just being together again? Since you’ve proven to him, you can fit in. 
“Miguel…” You hum, his head coming out of his hands and looking up at you. Eyes widening seeing you in just your underwear. Gulping thickly. “Yes?” He whispers. Like beckoning to your call. Like a plea for you to just put him out of his misery already. 
You walk over to him, trying to half haphazardly pull on a big t-shirt. His hands unable to stop themselves, coming up to help pull the material down. You’re drunk. You don’t know what you’re doing. This all just makes him feel somehow worse. Your body taunting him, teasing him with everything he needs and no way to get it. 
Your hips slot between his legs, standing between them and getting closer. Fingers clenching into his shirt and smashing your lips against his. His fingers splay out, shock and surprise. His eyes wide and heart seemingly stops. You’re… kissing him… you…
Heavy breath through his nose and his eyes flutter closed. Kissing you back, feeling your eager tongue tasting like alcohol come into his mouth. Letting it swirl against his lips and his tongue. His big hands snaking around you, holding you for the first time like this in so long. You gasp and hum against his lips and a chill goes down his back. He must be dreaming. 
But your hands go to his chest, pushing him back on the bed, and he’s so weak to you. His back hitting the mattress. He wants this so badly. Wants you more than anything in the entire world. You climb on top of him, clambering over his body, sitting on his abdomen and leaning down to kiss him again. 
“Wait-”
He’s silenced by your lips, trying to be dominant and licking into his mouth. You never did that before. That was always him. But right now it’s like you’re hungry for him in the exact same way he was hungry for you all this time. 
“I need you…” You whisper, pulling back from his lips with a smack. His eyes wide and breath heaving. It’s everything he’s ever wanted and yet it’s not right at all. “No baby… you need to go to sleep… you’re drunk…” He whispers, feeling so weak, his hands running up your warm bare thighs, like medicine. His cast is slightly scratchy on your thigh. Finally your body on his, your warmths feeding off of each other. 
“No please… say you want me, please you have to, don’t you want to?” You whine. Leaning over him and kissing his cheek, burying your face in his neck. He’s speechless. Doesn’t know what to say or think. He thought you were done all this time. He thought you were pining after Parker. 
“I want you… I do want you…” He whispers before his mind can even think. His hands falling from your thighs and flat on the bed. It feels wrong to touch you this way. His love for you overshadows his own selfish need. You won’t remember this in the morning. 
You won’t remember this in the morning. 
“I love you…” He whispers. Into your hair. Choking back a lump in his throat. 
“Mm?” You groan, pushing yourself up drunkenly on your hands, your hair dangling into his face under you. 
“Nothing…” He whispers. Swallowing thickly and wrapping his arms around you again. Pulling you to his chest and hugging you. Keeping you there, knowing you’ll pass out in a few minutes anyway and he can tuck you into bed safe and sound. 
To be continued…
Reblogs and comments very much appreciated!! Let me know what you think or your theories!
Taglist (thank you my sweets 🍬) :
@miguels-cock-piercings @queerponcho @club-danger-zone @bossva @softcrayon
@nommingonfood @bruhhvv
@jessies-unrelagated-thoughts @mauvecherie-writes @haveclayeveryday @kimivixen
@jadeloverxd @chiikasevennn @mvlanchqly @resident-cryptid
@x0tw0d57 @vampyboys @miguelspriscilla
@francesca-the-1st @migueloharasbbm @razertail18 @laysmt
@tojiragdoll @maiyart @wazawazooo @mun-2996 @marshhbs
@curious-randomlr @safixiovi @daddyfroglegs @theplaid-wearingmoose @reader-1290
@yeanika @elysiumsangel @rinnako @mangoslushcrush @twwcs
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@miss-loomis @genny101
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@jdbxws @roserfz27 @ohara-whore @oharaslove @daisy-artfield
@mooreaey6yem @peachey-pie @migueloharacumslut @pxtched
@yougavemeyourheartyouknow @julia4today
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softgrungeprophet · 2 years ago
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thinking about those guns...
(peter parker's biceps in ASM#622)
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hetaliafucker · 2 years ago
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The 2022 Ebenezer Scrooge just gives me Arthur but as a Gilf vibes and I'm just. I need. I need AU fanart of Arthur as the 2022 Scrooge.
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