#but to be clear as a character he is very pog <3< /div> Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[captainfightingflower]

So i rolled my ankle REALLY badly while out for my run at around 6:20 (bad to the point where renting crutches is being considered), so i just decided to say f making polished sketches, and just decided to have fun drawing whatever Jackbox Games Characters i wanted without care for stuff like anatomy or superb accuracy for once.

Also, fun fact: i forgot to put in my signature traditionally (since i only ever tend to do that after coloring) so the grand majority of these sketches has my signature digitally imposed with Photopea.

Also also, just figured out how people put images side by side in these posts...man i learn something new everyday on this site!

So here’s some descriptions of what each sketch entails in case it’s not clear:

Sketch 1 & 2: A little two-panel gag comic based on the fact that Rue’s facial features can just float whenever she pleases (featuring Bubz...mostly so i could make an excuse to draw the desk).

Sketch 3: Several of the animal hosts put into a single bunch with the text “la créturas” since i really like that set of words specifically! This features Mayonnaise being there, Professor Nanners T-posing like those shitposts where there’s always some 3D fellow t-posing over the horizons, Knack the frog pogging at the Geneva convention & the Tournament Dragon liking his own nostrils.

Sketch 4: The Wheel of Enormous Proportions dumping the water from M. Bubbles’ jug onto it’s face while their headless body stands by.

Sketch 5: Rue unknowingly talking to the Phoney Wheel of Enormous Proportions for 5 hours based on that one meme of a guy talking to a brick wall.

Sketch 6: Octoputtz saying “It’s as shrimple as that!” because A. it’s a meme, and B. he would 100% say something like that.

Sketch 7: Captain Chuck offering you some funny, partially inspired by Morshu, while gripping the supposed haha man a bit too hard.

Sketch 8: The thumbprints from Clone Booth take out the Dodecahedron from DODE, inspired by that one stock image of a guy stealing a wheel from a person’s wheelchair while they are still on it, as well as partially inspired by another sketch i made referencing the Yankee with no brim meme.

Sketch 9 & 10: A slightly modified redraw a draw the squad comic “Sometimes i wonder how i taste” featuring Gavin & Meegan

Sketch 11: A hi-res sketch of Meegan originally created for the previous prompt.

Sketch 12: Mick/Jackhead in their Jackbox Party Club attire, inspired by Sonic Archie Comic panel edit “Alone on a Friday night? God, you’re pathetic” that was originally going to have text accompanying it.

Sketch 13: Human from Zeeple Dome waving their flags aggressively, inspired by that one clip of a lady doing the same thing (i cannot explain this better i am sorry).

Sketch 14: Cookie Masterson eating his Dunkin’ order when you tell him to fuck off in Movies.

Sketch 15: An alien from Push the Button.

Sketch 16: An attempted realistic bust of the design for the green human on the Zeeple Dome menu select’s box art.

Sketch 17: The green & red humans from the Zeeple Dome box art, with the red one nearly avoiding an alien tentacle.

Honestly, very freeing thing for me to do, i’m surprised i don’t sketch my heart out like this more often! (but i could do without the pain in my leg, honesty)

[silvertsundere]

Silver Talks AniManga (19/03/23)

biggest thing this week is me starting to catch up to UU only got through 30 chaps (in about 3 hours) cause I grossly underestimated just how much text it was gonna have it's good tho 👍

Undead Unluck Ch1 to 30

I greatly underestimated how long it'd take to catch up, I only started at midnight of this sunday, I thought because it was an action series it wouldn't take that long but I was clueless. But anyway, it's good, I can easily see how it managed to get through the cancelation danger gauntlet and how it's become fairly popular. My friend Mega had already told me beforehand that the first couple volumes are quite crude and lewd, and he was right, but I've seen a lot worse. Also the pacing is quite fast but it didn't bother me at all, tho I was reading everything back to back instead of weekly so maybe it would've been different. Anyway the last arc I read before stopping (Unrepair) was good and finished setting up the intro to the series I feel. Now we know what the main plot is, how this world works (mostly), we got to know a lot of the cast, the goals of our protagonists and antagonists and how they clash with each other. The best chap so far was 20, it was a colour page chap and it introduced one of the Big Plot Points for the series, also Juiz is just super cool too. I think I remember seeing that Andy and Fuuko join the baddies later? but I don't remember for sure so we'll see. Which also speaking of, Fuuko is very cute. I expect to have finished catching up before I do this again next week so look forward to the rest of that I guess.

Dandadan Ch97

been a while since the last full action chap and it slapped that last page was very pog. tho hype for when okarun finally rejoins the fray

Kaiju 8 Ch82

didn't expect such a nice chap for a side chara, that was good. hype for next chap with that ending tho

JOJOLands Ch2

wao the newest instalment of jojo is here but honestly it's too early on to really have any opinions on it, evil giorno is nice tho. at the end of chap 1 I said the person they were gonna rob was gonna be a returning chara from p4 or 6 but sure as hell didn't expect it to just straight up be rohan lol

Tokyo Underworld Ch34

damn yomi being brained for once impressive, tho just a few pages later he fucked up and almost got killed so it balances out

Jojo: Hol Horse/Josuke Spinoff Ch14

we got the spinoff's first stand rush pog. should only be 2 or 3 more chaps left til it's over but it's been a nice little diversion

Ichigoki's Under Control!! Ch15

what a terrible chapter, introduced a buncha characters and situations that never happened, since it's getting canceled and didn't get to actually do them. seems like it'll end next chap at least so that's good.

The Ichinose Family's Deadly Sins Ch17

damn I was gonna say "alright it's good to see ichinose has a clear goal now for the characters to follow" but then it hit me with that twist at the end again so uh nvm. not really a fan of the "it was all a dream" thing but we'll see how it goes

Ginka & Gluna Ch26

all that just for the baddie to run away? eh.... feels like quite the waste of such a cool concept for a power

Fabricant 100 Ch14

not as good as the last few chaps but p decent nonetheless

Jiangshi X Ch9

mostly action, showing off how powerful the dad is, still expect him to die soon tho

Tokyo Demon Bride Story Ch27

well things got solved quite nicely didn't they. I had anticipated this outcome originally, but with how much they were building up to a fight I had discarded it. anyway if ichigoki is really ending next chap then this should have 2 or 3 more chaps left.

Witch Watch Ch101

decent chap, was a throwback to this old spell

SPY x FAMILY Ch77

it was nice to get a lloid chap after so long, and with him actually doing his job nonetheless, I think that's a first

Blue Box Ch93

xmas? my sister in christ it's march

oh ok fair enough. anyway good chap like usual too, nice to see yumeka's character developing

Cipher Academy Ch16

a good chap but I'm also a hoe for murder mysteries, tho that twist at the end was very good 👀

Mashle Ch148

very funny chap, didn't expect something like this lol

Sakamoto Days Ch111

cool number pog. but anyway, wonder how much longer of this backstory is left, not that I'm not enjoying it tho, the gun throw was great

The Elusive Samurai Ch102

damn setting up some worrying implications for our protags in case they lose. also I figured they weren't going to fight ashikaga right away, and the ending proved that, shame they gotta fight that girl tho

Akane-banashi Ch54

a nice cooldown chapter after the intensity of the last few ones, but a good chapter still, setting up the next competition and goal for akane also I don't think I've ever said it in these but..she's so cute.. love all the little faces she makes

[donniemines]

c!jack is really awesome and i love watching his pov but i don’t actively root for him, and i feel like thats because his motives are just so? misguided? like it isnt tommy’s fault that techno and dream are trigger happy and it isnt tommy’s fault that wilbur’s mental state declined to the point of blowing up lmanburg, or that dream wanted to toy with him and is power hungry, or that techno is an anarchist.

and tommy didn’t sacrifice nations and friends for the discs? in fact he gave up the discs multiple times, like to gain lmanburg’s independence, and when he told tubbo to give dream the disc right before doomsday, dream had both the discs in his possession and still blew up lmanburg.

like obviously tommy is not flawless. jack has valid reasons to dislike tommy! killing jack in the nether during exile and generally dismissing jack as weaker than himself and constantly causing jack to lose everything (intentional or otherwise) are not good things. but i just dont think that warrants jack trying to kill him, especially considering that his other reasons for hating tommy are just not...true?

and all this doesnt mean c!jack is a bad character, in fact i think he’s an amazing character and he’s stuck in a cycle of wanting to get revenge bc he’s been hurt, i just want to be able to cheer for his vengeful acts a little but i just cant bring myself to, yknow?

(/rp)

[petre-chose-violence]

Today on "Bad takes and how to counter them":

(Aka collection of my based takes on)

Mischaracterization of the Syndicate. (and it's members)

(Because I am bored)

/all names reffer to dsmp characters unless explicitly stated otherwise.

"Secret Police" - Their only rule is don't oppress people. Like, that's it. They defend no system and protect no bourgeoisie. In fact, they are very lenient with what regimes they consider worth toppling, seeing as Snowchester still exists.

"The organization in general/any member in particular is Capitalists/Ancap" - They own their own means of production, they work for their stuff themselves, they don't stand in the way of anyone doing the same themselves. Villagers are a game mechanic, as horrible as the implications are, for all intents an purposes, story included, they are not people. That is just how the game unfortunately is.

"They are not friends, they met like 2 times" - Technobirthday Stream is right there, it's called quality over quantity. Also 3/4 Syndicate members were friends for a long time now, only Niki is somewhat new to the group.

"They are the 1%" - *reffer back to capitalist take. There is nothing wrong with having opinions even if you are wealthy/skillful.

Technoblade

"Is violent" - the only non violent characters on the server are Ponk, Ranboo and the new ones. Techno is actually consistently seen trying to minimize casualties of every conflict he was involved in, from the battle of the lake when he suggested Tommy just return the fish, to Doomsday when he made it clear that everyone who doesn't want to die can just leave.

"Doesn't try negotiation" - Except on Nov 16th. And before & after his execution on Dec 16th. And when he stalled for 3+ minutes on the Red Festival. And when he didn't just kill Tommy for being in his house.

"Has no character development" - Over the course of the story he goes All problems can be solved by punching them hard enough, including bad communication. -> Violence sucks actually. Trusting people too. -> Maybe I should try to do a little bit of violence and a tiny bit of trusting people. -> Incredible Violence is Pog when you do it together with trustworthy people. But it's not a good look. Need more trustworthy people. This is more of an ark then 85% of dsmp has. It's like 3 arks cramped together. And we skipped tons of less apparent stuff, like his paranoia.

"Doesn't do mutual aid" - ... to the people he just fought against. And that is a flaw indeed! But other than that? Pogtopia, Tommy, Syndicate. I'd say he's pretty mutual aid-y.

"Doesn't regret his actions" - One) Should he? Two) He does.

"Doesn't loose" - Won once, on Doomsday. Nov 16th, Execution were significant loses, both spiritually and materially.

"Should've seen NLM coming, overblown reaction to Pogtopia becoming a gvt, can't be mad on them for hurting his feelings" - Seen that coming and do what, exactly? Leave and let the rebellion be annihilated? From in character POV, it would've been a "lesser evil" kind of deal. OOC - there is no way Pogtopia could've defeated invisible God-appleded Dream without Techno's stuff. And tactically it would make perfect sense to help one enemy defeat the other and then kick it while it down.

Material side to the side, all of the above would take place if Techno was to learn or acknowledge Pogtopia's true intentions. To my, flawed, human knowledge the only character seen mentioning making a new government instead of Manburg near Techno was Wilbur, who later was all "Total destruction! Anarchy Bros!" so that takes care of that.

And still, if not, if all the evidence was for him to see, maybe yes, maybe Technoblade did know it to some degree. Maybe is lonely, and is desperately clinging to the best resemblance of companionship he've experienced until he could no longer deny its flaws. Maybe he did grow attached to these people he worked with before learning their unfortunate true colours! Maybe he did hope that he just misread some sighns up until when the truth was mockingly shoved into his face! Maybe Mr. "# 2 biggest anxiety wreck ever" couldn't gather enough willpower to confront his comrades about it! Maybe he was head deep in denial! Maybe being forcibly removed from the comfort of such delusion can hurt a little!

DISCLAIMER: If you end up using the a little emotionally charged reading right above remember - it is not, Tommy's, Tubbo's or even, maybe, Wilbur's fault. By that take they manipulated Techno, but they didn't do that consciously or maliciously. Circumstances are just like that.

(If this results in appearance of YandareBlade /srs takes i am going to start biting)

Philza

"Just follows Technoblade" - Fights against Techno on Nov 16th. Joins Doomsday against Techno's wishes.

*conscious decision on the part of the creator to not cover anything Wilbur related, because I'm tired of it*

Ranboo

"Is afraid of Technoblade & Philza" - they had several adventures and tons of fun with them. He willingly remainins their neighbor despite the existence of alternatives. They were the only people he trusted with having Disks. He didn't even trust his husband with that one.

Niki

"Not anarchist, just wants friends" - 1st, whats wrong with that? Syndicate is like the only not fucked friend group organization whose members didn't directly contribute to Niki's mental problems on the server. 2nd, no, have you listened to her recruitment? It goes like this - Techno: "Governments are bad because of xyz", Niki: "True!" Also, she was against Manburg and played a part in destroying NLM, so she has a pretty anti government track record. This whole post.

"Just does whatever she is told" - Her whole Manburg ark is right there, where did this even come from?

[findingjoynweirdstuff]

Dream SMP Recap (December 3/2020)

Today was pretty interesting - every member of both the Dream Team AND Sleepy Bois Inc. streamed today! Doesn’t happen often.

Everyone is preparing for the exile tomorrow. There's internal conflicts growing within the Dream SMP side and the familial division within the Sleepy Bois has only increased. 

---

 -  Tubbo, Ranboo and Fundy work on the hole in the ocean and that’s when the first rain happens.

- Wilbur and Tommy randomly join the VC and just say “Tubbo we’ve been thinking about you a lot” and then straight up leave

- Later, Tommy gets on in preparation for possible exile. He insists that he cares more for L’manburg than his discs, ultimately. Technoblade is online. He says he wants to move into New L’manburg out of sheer confidence that he won’t be exiled. Sapnap comes online as well and proceeds to bully Tommy with Techno. Punz arrives too.

- Sapnap suggests Tommy move into Mexican L’manburg.

- Tommy says he likes Ghostbur because he’s “like real Wilbur but less torturous”

- TECHNO STREAM POG. He wants to move his pets.

- Sapnap confronts Tommy and says that he was ordered to kill him since Tommy stepped outside of the walls.

- Punz raises the wall. Phil and Ranboo come online.

- Phil puts on armor in L’manburg and says he must go. He meets with Techno just outside the wall - it’s time for Phil to join forces with the pig.

- Techno kills Tommy. Mexico is declared Dream SMP canon.

- Wilbur comes online and starts talking to Sapnap. Tommy says that the best apology gift is DRUGSS. Ghostbur asks Tommy where Techno is and then leaves.

- Sapnap is in denial about Dream not caring about him. Tommy tells him bluntly, and Sapnap says that at least he has Tommy as a friend - a continuation of his character arc from the Final Pet War on the 15th.

- Ghostbur roasts Techno for not knowing how to make a fishing rod and tells Tommy and Techno that he’s in “the ravine.” They all meet up at the lake where Techno’s base was, putting the pets in boats.

- The Sleepy Bois have a family confrontation. Techno asks him if Tommy’s life has improved from the new government. Phil points out that Techno was very clear about his intentions the whole time. Ghostbur says he and Techno go way back. Tommy says he’s just there for Ghostbur.

- Tommy and Ghostbur split off and Tommy tells Ghostbur a story about “two guys,” with Tommy putting him and Wilbur as “these two good guys, but one of the good guys had turned into a bit of a bad guy,” and Techno as “a medium guy.” Ghostbur remembers more than Tommy realized.

- Tommy lies to Ghostbur and says that Techno made the crater.

- Connor drops by. Tommy says he wants to get the Camarvan back in drug-brewing business.

- Ghostbur and Sapnap continue speaking. Ghostbur remembers that Sapnap was on the other side and calls him a “traitor like Eret” for now being with Tommy.

- It rains again... 

In Tubbo’s words, “Jesus has OP”

- Tommy captures a pet bat. “It’s like a moth but bigger!”

- They drug the president

- Meanwhile, Phil and Techno are hanging out together in Techno’s ice village, now strong allies.

- Tubbo isn’t swayed by Tommy’s apology gift. Tommy speaks with Ghostbur on the Power Tower. Ghostbur says he’ll follow Tommy no matter what happens.

- Quackity and George build a new mushroom house right outside Tommy’s new L’manburg house to piss him off

- Sapnap joins the call and immediately tells George that Dream said he didn’t care about them, and that those in Mexican L’manburg have to band together since Dream no longer has care for anyone. George is shocked and literally spits out his water. 

- Sapnap leaves, Quackity starts reading How to Sex 2 and IT RAINS AGAIN. 

- Quackity starts acting strange and screeching but he calms down once George gets him inside the church. Quackity has a revelation that all the world is made of “1′s and 0′s,” and says that he can never leave the church without the peace leaving him. He says that he killed everyone important in his life except for George, that he has no one left. George seems to be confused at who is talking to him.

“I am alive, George.”

...

- Quackity returns to normal and starts talking about the house in front of Tommy’s again. He and George continue their hijinks. George gets scammed by Fundy, he and Quackity start messing around with item frames and maps. They need leather and ask Techno about his cow farm. Techno responds that the spirits of the cows call for revenge. They start running.

- George starts gathering wheat. This is his grave mistake. Techno, invisible but showing through armor, chases him down and almost kills him but spares him at half a heart. George and Techno chat for a bit after Techno leaves the area.

- Then Quackity streams the first part of their plan to prank the entire SMP with pictures. Just a funny stream! Funny pranks! Haha funnies! hahahahahahaha

- PSYCHE u rly thought huh?? u rly thought??

- Dream comes online and announces that George is being dethroned.  He claims that he’s doing this to protect George, since George has been getting attacked more and more lately. But later on he lets it slip that George was, in his eyes, a “bad king” and was getting too involved to stay neutral, especially when it came to Mexican L’manburg. He makes Eret the king again. Worth mentioning is the fact that Eret still plans to adopt Fundy, and Dream and Fundy are getting married tomorrow...

- Everyone escorts George down the Path, George’s head hung low. Sapnap is angry at Dream, Dream accuses Sapnap of driving them apart. Sapnap says that he’ll stand with George.

- Sapnap, George and Quackity all reconvene at Mexican L’manburg. They decide to fight for George’s crown back, and also speak with Badboyhalo about possibly combining forces with the Badlands to do so.

- Dream shoots Quackity and orders an attack on George. He messages Quackity to not even dare trying to take back power.

- Later, Dream rejoins VC and he and Quackity get into a moral debate about the ethics of hostile government takeovers, who’s at fault for the conflict on the server, and why Dream is doing all of this. Dream points out that the last willing giveaway of the discs was from Tommy to Dream for the birth of L’manburg, and that Tommy only has the discs now because he stole them. The rain falls again as they speak.

- Dream leaves. Mexican L’manburg is the only place left for George to fight for. Sapnap has turned against Dream. The Badlands are getting involved, and Quackity has to speak to Tubbo about all of this. 

- Meanwhile, Puffy is replacing Tommy’s stone bricks with polished granite.

- The funny haha’s return as everyone continues doing the SMP prank. Fun!

---

Upcoming Events:

- Karl will be touring Pokimane around the SMP next week!

- Tommy’s exile decision is tomorrow

- Fundy is getting married to Dream tomorrow

- IS THE ELYTRA CHALLENGE STILL HAPPENING I DON’T KNOW PLEASE JUST TELL US

[raisans-art]

What the Fuck Are these Characterizations: The Essay

Full warning: This is only concerning Tommy's stream made today, 4/29/2021. I know Ranboo has streamed after Tommy but I haven't watched that.

On with the essay.

A lot happened.

Tommy tried to kill Dream, Dream actually killed Ghostbur, Wilbur is back (pog). It's a lot. A lot of plot and a lot of emotions. I will preface this with the usual "holy hell these people are pretty damn good actors for having no formal training as far as I'm aware." They get their emotions across very clearly and that's kinda why I'm making this in the first place. The way some of the characters acted in Tommy's 4/29 stream is a bit odd in my opinion.

Now, I will concede that I have not been diligent with the Dream SMP lore. I've been given broad strokes and have seen various clips but I have definitely not been on top of it. I may have missed streams entirely and you all more avid fans may be able to name scenes that I haven't seen that rationalize some of these reactions that I will be criticizing. If you can, please do so! I'd love to start a dialogue over this!

So, how I'm gonna break this all up is to take a look at Tommy, Wilbur, Ranboo, and Awesamdude and how their CCs characterized them during the stream. I'll sing praises where they are due and point out my criticisms where they arise. Then, I will try to surmise some meta as to why I think these characterizations came to be in the first place.

Tommy

Tommy, to me, has the best characterization in this. CC Tommy clearly has a very good sense of what he wants from his character and has been playing into that line of thought from the beginning of this whole debacle.

Tommy is scared, paranoid, and pissed off. Ever since he left the prison he avoids taking damage like the plague, rambles indecisively, is easily sent into a panic, and is hypersensitive to the people around him. He panics when he sees weapons out and one crucial thing that he made clear from the start was that he wants Dream dead.

Straight out of limbo, Tommy concludes that Dream needs to die. From there he plans this whole mission with Ranboo, Tubbo, and Ghostbur to get in and kill Dream. He says that Dream can't keep living with this power at his fingertips, and from before his final death, Tommy clearly wants to be rid of his abuser, adding a personal layer to his plan. Tommy is stubborn and determined since the beginning, sacrificing his life and disks for L'manberg and refusing to believe that his home is gone until the place is blown to bedrock. Of course, he would stick to his plan to a T.

Now, is this a smart decision to sneak into the highest security area in the entire SMP? Fuck no. It's a stupid idea. Even if Tommy hadn't messed up, Sam would've seen Dream die to a floating axe and kept Tommy and Ghostbur in that containment cell. It would've been a one-way ticket, especially given what we see of Sam in this stream.

But this all makes sense for the character CC Tommy is playing. Tommy isn't thinking about how smart of a decision this is and he hardly ever does when he takes action. He shoots from the hip, takes his first instincts, and acts on them.

It's easy to draw a clear line of progression of Tommy as a character from season 1 to this moment in season 3 and past Ghostbur's death. His hyperventilating as he tries to get his plan to work after it failed, Trying to save Ghostbur from what he went through, lashing out at Sam, and yelling at Wilbur. All of this in line with who Tommy is as a character and how events have changed him. This is a good characterization.

Wilbur

Wilbur has changed a lot since we've seen him last, both alive and dead. Since he's been alive, Wilbur has changed his tune from "I want to die" to "hell sucks, mate." What's particularly interesting is that this sentiment that he has from being alive carried for a long time into his limbo, as evidenced by his appearance in the season 2 finale on the bench. He wanted to "stay dead" at that point. Since we've seen him in limbo, he's gone from content in his situation and understanding why he's there and that he's there forever.

Now we have Revivedbur. Revivedbur is ecstatic to be alive again. He goes from numb to embracing feeling again. The fandom once thought that Revivedbur would be annoyed with or hateful towards Dream for bringing him back turned into joy and reverence. This is quite a drastic leap. Bad characterization.

But it isn't.

I have seen one clip from Ranboo's stream on 4/29 and that is Ranboo telling Philza that Wilbur is alive. In this bit, after mentioning that Wilbur has been in limbo for a perceived 13 and a half years, Phil says "13 years is a long time to be away... he almost certainly isn't the same person... people can change quite a lot in a single year, two years, three years, four years, even five years, Ranboo."

Wilbur has been gone for 13 years. He's been in the same place with no change other than Tommy for 13 fucking years. That's 13 years where we heard from him 2 times. We know virtually nothing about what those 13 years were like for him, but from what Wilbur has said, it was torture to him. He was stagnant, stuck in a fucking tube station for 13 years, unable to leave no matter how hard he tried.

We know so little about how his time in limbo changed him because it's such a long span of time with radio silence. I dare say this is fucking great characterization.

Ranboo

This is where I start having some issues, and this is where I have the least amount of context. From what I've seen, Ranboo is little miss angst who forgets things and is constantly on the verge of having a panic attack (hyperbole). From what I have surmised of his character in various contexts, serious and dramatic scenes and domestic ones, Ranboo really cares about the people around him and is scared of himself and his mind.

So why is it that he straight up just sneers at Tommy, saying "the hell did you do?"

I'm really just focusing on this because it just seems really off to me in the context of his character. Ranboo was in on this plan. It's pretty common knowledge that the only person with revive powers is Dream. Ranboo doesn't know everything that happened within the prison, sure, but why is he so quick to assume that Tommy was the root cause? Is it because he's been hanging out with the world's 2nd biggest Tommy hater, Niki (the character for clarification)? I honestly don't know where this jump-in assumption is coming from. Given what I understand of his character, this line and the implications I'm getting are just a bit out of character. Feel free to explain why I'm wrong because I am not in this loop whatsoever.

Awesamdude

Sam is where I have the biggest issue. How does a man go from living on an isolated island in grief over a death he could've prevented if only he had been quicker, to yelling at that same formerly dead person that he was at fault for the death/revival of another person?

Now, one thing that is strengthened by this characterization is Sam's dedication to the rules. He has his strict protocol and he is not going to let that slip up for anything. He wants to keep Dream in prison and never let him out.

But I'm just having a hard time grappling with a man so quick to blame himself last time something like this happened being so quick to place blame on a child he, from what I've seen, had a good relationship with. It feels like I'm missing something here.

Yeah, Tommy broke into the prison, but why is Sam's first thought that Tommy was trying to break dream out? This harsh turn on Tommy just doesn't come across right to me.

Why Did This Happen?

I do think there could be a meta reason as to why these don't land right to me. These two characterizations are centered around Tommy. How people are reacting to Tommy's actions. Tommy and Dream are the head of the prison stuff right now. at least as far as I know. I'm not sure if Wilbur has come back on as a writer yet but last I heard it's still Tommy and Dream handling their shit. With the writers in mind, I wouldn't put it past them to decide to add more conflict with Tommy and other members of the SMP right now. The Egg is a bit busy with other things, Jack is just running the hotel, and the Syndicate doesn't really have any qualms with Tommy on any level that they would act on. It could be the writers trying to add conflict to the prison storyline by generating conflict between Tommy, Ranboo, and Sam with Wilbur being a fuckin wild card.

I don't know mate, I just wanted my thoughts out there and maybe be fucking pounded into the ground by people more knowledgeable than me.

Have a dialogue with me I'd love to debate. (All friendly debate please I don't feel like taking this too seriously it is Minecraft roleplay after all.)

[bing0boing0]

If you werent aware of what today was, today was the festival where the cabinet was planning on killing Dream. I watched the stream from only Ranboo’s perspective so I only know what Ranboo knows keep that in mind when reading.

Ranboo starts the stream in his panic room, instead of playing disc 13 he plays his mellohi disc. When he finally leaves the panic room he does not remeber getting to the panic room or at least the events leading up to getting into the panic room.

Ranboo meets up with Tubbo who says that he’s unsure if this is for the best, Ranboo says yes this is for the best. Tubbo says that Ranboo is the perfect embodiment of law 5, be loyal.

The festival is fun, they all play games. Quackity seems to be suspicious of Ranboo. Ranboo is very scared that Quackity might know about everything he’s done. When it starts raining Ranboo puts on his helmet and is immediately called out by Quackity. Quackity says that there is a no armor law in L’Manberg. Ranboo try’s to explain that he has to be wearing something cause it’s raining. Quackity doesn’t care and tells Tubbo to make Ranboo take off the helmet. Tubbo says no and makes an exception for Ranboo.

Quackity talks with Tubbo in a different vc and later grabs Fundy to also talk in that vc, I once again have no idea what it was about because I only watched Ranboo’s perspective. Ranboo joins their vc and they start to talk about how they’re going to kill Dream.

Dream shows up not only in full netherite but also has obsidian. Dream had previously told Tubbo that he would honor the no armor law of L’Manberg. He does not honor this law.

Dream yells at the cabinet about how Tommy messed up. They don’t know what happened so Dream shows them a completely destroyed Community house. Dream blames its destruction on Tommy. Dream tells Tubbo that the only way he won’t destroy L’Manberg for their disrespect is for them to no longer be associated with Tommy at all. Dream tells Tubbo to give him the disc he is in possesion of.

Tommy shows up and claims he did not destroy the community house. No one believes Tommy especially since he’s supposed to be in exile. Tommy has a fight with Tubbo infront of almost everyone on the server.

Tommy has a slight breakdown, decides that he’s not who he wants to be. In fact he claims that he’s worse than anyone he never wanted to be. Tommy gives Dream the last disc after apologizing to Tubbo about how he has been acting. This means that Tommy has betrayed (even though he was very clear that he would not destroy L’Manberg) Techno.

Dream laughs and says the only reason he hadn’t wiped L’Manberg off the map was because he didn’t have the discs. Dream says he’ll destroy L’Manberg tommorow at 3 (I believe EST). Dream tells Tubbo he was the worst president, he also says that Ranboo was a spy and gives Tubbo the book. Dream runs away leaving Techno surrounded despite the fact they had literally just decided to team up.

Techno says that he wants his axe back because Tommy isn’t who he thought he was. Tommy does not give him the axe back. Techno essentially goes well you made your choice let’s just hope it’s the right on and leaves.

Tommy rallies the rest of the SMP. Sam makes Tommy swear on Church Prime that he did not destroy the community house. Niki is angry and no longer sees Tommy as a friend. This makes tommy the second person to ever be hated by Niki the first of course being Schlatt.

Ranboo gets called out for being a spy and makes a whole speech more like an argument about how you shouldn’t choose sides you should choose people. No one really understands what he means. Everyone considers him a traitor for helping all his friends who were on different sides. No one can afford to deal with Ranboo currently so he is left alone and might fight tommorow.

Ranboo goes to his panic room. He plays mellohi again. Dream joins the call and tell Ranboo that he was right. Dream only does what he does for entertainment. Dream tells Ranboo that Ranboo was the one to destroy the community house. Ranboo can’t remember which makes it possible that he did in fact destroy the community house. Ranboo does not have his memory book as it was given to Tubbo. Ranboo writes down his friends on the second page of the book. Dream turns out to not be actual Dream and instead a voice in Ranboo’s head. (This is not DID, Ranboo has come out and explicitly said that his character does not have DID)

Ranboo has a breakdown in the panic room which really lived up to its name. During this breakdown he mentions that this is just like “last time”. Ranboo’s stream goes completely black as mellohi ends and Ranboo’s yelling (practically screaming) to remember that everything will be fine an enderman noise plays and the stream ends.

Thank you for your patience! This was a longer lore stream then the past few lore bits have been. Ranboo and Niki deserve Oscars for the performances that they gave today!!

TL;DR Dream has the discs, there’s another event tommorow where they’ll try and stop Dream and techno from blowing up L’Manberg at 3(est?). The community house was destoryed by Ranboo (no one besides Ranboo knows this). Ranboo gets revealed as a spy. Ranboo may be getting a villian arc (pog). Tommy is no longer exiled from L’Manberg.

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

[dropoutparty]

ngc ramblings part 2- chapters 3 and 4

time for post 2 babeyy!! i didnt try to really be funny in this one like i did the last one, so i hope u dont mind!! heres a link to the first post if u missed it! ill make a masterpost of all the parts once im done with all the chapters. now lets get into trance and dementia!! (that sounds. hilarious out of context)

here we are at trance! the name of this one is pretty clear, but ill still go into the definition for the sake of clarity. basically, a trance is a state of half consciousness and an absence of response to external stimuli, like what you might experience when under deep hypnosis. this is probably referencing the “episodes” that melissa would go into where she would jsut kinda stare off into the distance and not emote all that much. the music here is compared to the videodrome theme, which probably means theres a consistent high note in the background, with the main attraction of the song being garbled electronic noises, maybe with some more coherent synth coming in at some point. either way, it probably is meant to make you feel uneasy because as we all know, high pitched noises are spooky.

the new kaiju this time around is orga (a kaiju with some mutated godzilla dna in it). this makes zach realize that this game couldnt be just some unreleased version of the normal one (as if fuckin red appearing didnt already make that clear) so he now figures that its a rom hack of some kind that his friend just happened to find. im glad he didnt just immediately go to assuming it was haunted because thats SUCH a common thing in these creepypastas and its so dumb?? good job cosby... anyways the first level zach goes into is also the first quiz level, where we finally meet face!!! my beloved,, i dont really know how to approach the quiz levels tbh? because on one hand i wanna examine face as a character all at once but on the other hand i wanna talk about them as i go... for this post ill leave all the quiz stuff out, but i wanna know if yall would want them included in the future! ill just make a separate post for all the quiz levels if you dont :3. overall though, the first quiz level gives me the feeling that face is assessing who and what zach is, maybe throwing random stuff in to make it not seem suspicious or something?

anyways, zach finishes the quiz level and moves onto a green temple level. zach describes the music of these levels as hypnotic, which might relate to the planet name? the only enemies in this level are dead things, specifically a ghost thing and a bat with a horse skull head, who probably killed the things that became the ghosts. already this world is a little different than pathos because it has buildings in it!! specifically, this world is filled with green temple levels, which i think translates in-game universe to two large temples and three smaller ones (based on how the levels are kinda clumped together, with single ones kinda spread out). outside of the temples are the same empty blue mountain stages that pathos had, but now with not-moguera hangin around! i feel like this further proves my idea i talked about in the last post, where not-moguera and not-gezora killed all the life on the planet together, because as far as is said the blue mountains are still empty here except for not-moguera. theres also some cave stages from pathos here, but not as many.

moving on, after zach gets through some stages its time for the bosses! first up is not-varan, whos sprite looks like its an altered version of varans actual sprite from the original game, just like the other not-kaijus so far. i think this is a theme among all of the nots here so ill just say when they dont look made up of the originals parts from now on. not-varan fights by kicking and shooting heat-seeking missiles. its head is backwards, so it cant see whats in front of it. i get the feeling that the missiles are heat-seeking in order to kill anything coming towards it that it cant see and the kicks are more of a desperation thing, like oh god my missiles didnt kill something and now its hurting me, i need to get away or something like that. so i guess i would describe its fighting style as defensive? anyways, moving on. next zach fights not-hedorah, who is the source of the horse-bats. this is the first one that doesnt seem to be made up of an original monsters parts, but it does have the same color scheme so theres that. not-hedorahs fighting is a lot more aggressive, summoning horse-bats to keep you distracted while he goes to town on you. i think a second not-moguera was put here to help not-hedorah kill everything, because i don't think not-varan would be very useful when it comes to doing that lmao. so after zach beats not-hedorah, no more horse-bats spawn which is neat! after beating not-hedorah, zach tries to enter the base level without beating orga but it doesnt work so i wont dwell on it.

orga is just a normal godzilla monster, so there isnt as much to say about him. i do think that orga was an original resident of trance before the not-kaiju came around to kill everything, like biollante was on pathos. he fights by punching, shooting a heat beam, and eating other monsters! i think this last one, even tho its a normal part of the kaiju, is here to foreshadow reds preferred method of killing things that we see later (especially since orga also unhinges his jaw to eat things). anyways this fight makes zach geek out and think that the game must have been made by a fellow person of culture and godzilla fan!! which is funny for reasons ill get into later. he doesnt have much time for a fanboy moment tho bc he has to run the mile again with coach red!

this time around, the game is trying to trip zach up by including some obstacles to avoid while you run from red. red doesnt have any issue with them though, theyre not meant to keep him away from you, after all.  zach was freaked out but he still has his epic gamer skillz so he beat the level just fine. when he was done he yelled in gamer delight before red looked at him like “shut the hell up” and zach almost pissed himself. and thats trance!! before i move onto dementia tho, i wanna talk about trance itself because of course i do. i think this planet used to be home to a lot of creatures like pathos was, but this society was more developed and spirituality was very important to them, hence all of the temples. i dont think it was a very somber or strict society though, mainly im getting that from the temple music having an “indian techno vibe” to, it. so from what i gather, this society was very spiritual but also they liked to party. while im on the subject of the temples, i think that face is hiding out in either like a small side building or a hidden room inside of one of the big green temples. trance probably used to be his home, and when everything started getting killed i think he hid out somewhere he would be safe. i dont know about yall, but the quiz levels always gave me the impression that they were indoors for some reason? so that definitely contributes to the hiding in a temple idea but i think it still works if you dont feel the same. i think thats all i really have to say about trance, so lets move on to dementia!

ok as usual, were starting out with the planets name: dementia. you know what dementia is but again, for the sake of clarity its basically a disorder caused by brain injury or disease that causes memory loss, personality changes, and impaired reasoning. im not entirely sure why dementia specifically was chosen here, and my best guess for what it could mean is that maybe its foreshadowing melissas condition? it doesnt really resemble dementia at all but thats my best guess lmao. anyways, this chapter starts out with zach still freaking out about red looking at him and wondering whats up with the game before we get our board description this time around. its during this little beginning part that he decides that he has to finish the game just to see what the hell is even going on with it, which like. fair. ok so the boards music is described as basically a slow piano cover of the original games saturn theme.

as will be the routine from now on, zach starts with the quiz level. the questions face asks this time around seem like hes trying to get to know more about zach at this point, though theres still the usual unrelated questions mixed in (though theres only like 4 of them this time)! for the last question he asks, face must have figured out that zach is a human because he offers him a new monster! zach obviously says yes pogs irl when he sees that face gave him anguirus, his second favorite godzilla monster (whats his favorite godzilla monster? is it godzilla? he hasnt mentioned a favorite monster yet so why bring up your second favorite? idk) and one that hes wanted to play as since he was a child, which is interesting (im sure youre sick of hearing this by now but, more on that later). ok now onto the levels.

the first kind of level is a palette swap of the blue mountains from the last two worlds, but this time theres also water! the music is “a very simple song with a lot of abrupt pauses, followed by a loud note every few seconds” so take from that what you will. this level doesnt have any enemies in it, just like the last two, but this time it looks like zachs goin for a swim bc were goin underwater babeyy!! the enemies in the water consisted of a piranha (which zach likes because he can “tell what it is” talk about a buzzkill) and a spiky bottom feeder thing whatever taht means. and that's it for that level type. kinda boring but the other two level types make up for it. speaking of, lets go onto the next level type! these levels actually have an in-game name for them; unforgiving cold. these levels are very long, taking place in a castle dungeon made of blue bricks, with statues of terrified faces lining the walls. these levels made zach really anxious, and the longer he played them the more he felt like he was getting close to something “unspeakably evil” yea sure dude. its now that he starts to suspect something supernatural is going on, because he thinks the game can make the player feel things at will, which imean he isnt wrong? also the music in these levels is just a looping choir that sounded familiar to zach for some reason. there werent any enemies (which im realizing is a running theme in this thing huh) so were onto the first boss, not-baragon.

not-baragon is another one that isnt made up of its originals parts, but still has the same color scheme. he fights with a really strong kick, ice breath, and pissing on you with a gatling gun dick. yes im being serious. like??? i didnt remember taht being a thing but oh my god just look at this shit.

comedy gold. you even do extra damage to him if you attack the gun like??? anyways zach beats not-baragon and goes on to the last level type, the arctic. the level is literally just an icy tundra with some water segments, and the music is compared to northern hemispheres from donkey kong country but 8bit? and zach described it as “dangerous sounding” so theres that. the enemies here consist of a thing that zach says kinda looks like not-gezora but without the eye (i can kinda see it? maybe) thats frozen in ice, a spike ball with legs that explodes and shoots spikes everywhere when it dies, and the piranhas from the green mountains. the last two are only in the water segments, because yea theres water segments and theyve got platforming babeyy!! at the end of the level, theres a mini boss fight with maguma (a walrus kaiju), who runs away when you beat him. thats all the levels, so we can get on to the rest of the bosses!

the next boss is manda, a sea dragon kaiju. he fights by spitting fire, biting, and constricting (also he switches things up if somethings not working, so hes a pretty smart cookie). during the fight the atragon (which is like an airship from one of the movies i think?) shows up to help, which zach thought was epic and poggers even tho it didnt help at all. and thats the manda fight, moving on! the next fight is weird, because nothing is there for a little while before a fish shows up, screams, and then gets fuckin kilt by not-gigan. once again, it doesnt resemble the original but it uses the same color palette. it fought with a blood beam it shot from its mouth and a slash, and zach described it as fast and unrelenting, so definitely a really aggressive mike wazowski lookin motherfucker. after zach beats him, he goes on to the last boss of dementia, spacegodzilla (i guess the people who make the kaiju were going through a creative block or something lmao). spacegodzilla looks like normal godzilla but hes blue now and hes got ice!! why tf is he called spacegodzilla!!! anyways hes also more strategic with his fighting pattern, making ice crystal spires taht charges up his special meter and also keeps you from reaching him. when you do get close to him, you participate in a funney big dinosaur slap fight until u win, pog!! now on a completely different note, big reds comin to town (aw shit. here we go again)

this time around the chase is mostly underwater (tho its blood now bc ooo spooky,, sometimes i forget that this story is supposed to be scary tbh) so red has to put his floaties on before he can follow zach. theres also landmines over pits and red reveals his weird tentacle hand mouth tongue before zach finally gets away and the chase is over. reds startin to get frustrated bro, he's tried to catch this fucker like 3 times now wadda hell!!! btw these chase sections are a lot less crazy than i thought they were like. huh. ig its more intense when you listen to a reading lol. anyways now its time to talk about dementia as a planet. i think the whole “the not-kaijus are killing all the stuff on these planets for red” still holds true, and i feel like it will continue to do that, so ill just briefly mention it from now on. this planet is all ice and water basically though, so i think they had a harder time doing it this time, hence why the underwater sections have more enemies and the only original kaiju here can stay underwater for protection. also, i think face followed zach to dementia from trance because he realized what zach was doing and wanted to help out, which is why he gave zach anguirus.

basically i picture dementia to be a planet thats mostly water with some land thrown in, and an old dilapidated castle in the center. i think the castle itself was probably destroyed by the not-kaijus (along with anything alive that might have been in it). i cant decide if i think spacegodzilla or manda would have lived there, so ill just say they both lived there as gay lovers or somehting. as for the statue faces, theyve appeared on trance and dementia so far, and theyll continue to appear throughout the pasta. basically, i think these represent melissa and/or her presence. like in the green temples on trance, i think that alludes to how melissa is kind of an “angel” or divine being later in the game, and in the blue castle i think they could represent how melissa is (supposedly, more on that later) being held in the game so she can be tortured forever (which is why they look fuckin terrified). i think thats all i have to say about dementia.

before i end the post i wanted to say something abt the planets names. in the first post, i said i would talk about the planets names significance all at once but i. completely forgot that while writing this one, so ill just do them as i go from now on!! basically what i think the significance of pathos’ name is could be multiple things. it could be referencing the sad state of the planet itself, it could be foreshadowing that playing this game is going to be a painful experience for zach, or it could be talking about the incident with melissa, and how that was a really painful experience for zach (i wouldnt be surprised if it gave zach ptsd honestly). so thats the end of the post babeyy!! next up is entropy and extus!

[letsfluxshitup]

FLUX YOU MAD LAD YOU ACTUALLY DID IT!!! THE MARRIAGE CRACKFIC HYPE IS REAL AND THE REALITY DOES NOT DISAPPOINT!! i rly wanted 2 send u an ask as soon as I got the ao3 email but i held myself 2gether and actually read the current content like a Normal Person so!! This’ll be disjointed and incomprehensible but we’re both up at midnight right now so </3

Okay. Right. First of all: I love how comfortable ur writing is!! Like I know I’ve commented on it before but Techno n Quackity are just Very Comfortable with one another and there’s no stilted sort of ‘oh but it’s platonic��� clarification needed! They just genuinely feel safe in one anothers presence and that is wonderful <333

Also,, the description and use of the ‘mutually unrequited’ tag is ENDLESSLY amusing 2 me like yes,,, that’s so them,,, how did I not connect the dots before. Ur literally a genius

I love Mr. Quacks :]] his indignant protectiveness of Quackity that Big Q barely seems to notice? Him quickly registering Techno as a safe person bc of Quackity’s concern for him? Wilbur having issues with A Literal Chicken, Somehow? Mr. Quacks is my new favourite character in the Dream SMP sorry kings that really is how the cookie crumbles

I’m very satisfied by the fact that u let Quackity talk a little bit abt his issues with Schlatt!! And the way you write dialogue is so natural?? Like, Quackity doesn’t rly convey his specific issue super well bc he’s never been great at the whole feelings deal, but it’s super clear he’s trying to get across the emotional manipulation (even if Q doesn’t rly recognize it like that) and Schlatt’s obvious abuse of power over Quackity as his president AND husband. Very proud of him for his efforts :,] and Techno’s automatic response being to just go murder the man? Like YES KING LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOO

I don’t know how you manage to do it but you make me more invested in their friendship w/ each thing you write :,]] Quackity’s very easygoing demeanour and active expression of affection through physical gestures and pet names pairs v well with Techno’s more stoic personality that gives way to casual shows of affection and fierce protectiveness of the people he cares about?? Your characterization is literally just a dopamine factory I will never get over how good you are at dynamics aasndmdkfkd

Also I love how ur including more SBI dynamics!! Your Wilbur is friendly but still like. Vaguely Unhinged and I appreciate that you didn’t completely get rid of his Issues(tm) in favour of the family dynamic. You woke up 2day and gave us both! As a treat. And I really love how you write Tommy as a whole :] he’s a bit of a brat and the teenage vibes are ever so present but you do kind of want to give him a hug anyways. I love and care them,,,,

You’ve sparked my thoughts abt your various quacknoblade AUs again!! And also dormant thoughts abt the TMA quacknobros AU I thought briefly abt where Techno was Jon n Quackity was Martin,,,,, honestly ur ability to create brainrot is insane ily king

- Saturn 🪐

OH SATURN I GENUINELY BLEW KISSES AT MY PHONE WHEN I REALIZED THIS WAS FROM YOU. you have such a distinct way of sending asks that I knew it was you right away actually it's really funny amksmdmdkdkd ilysm

Also WOW CALLED OUT YEAH ITS MIDNIGHT YEAH WE'RE FEELING INCOHERENT ❤️

ALSO THANK YOU;;; I channel my aromantic energy into my fics by just not registering things as romantic in the slightest ❤️ I am unstoppable ❤️

Ok wait it's kinda funny bc I feel like at a time I was like "gotta make sure everyone knows this is platonic" but now I've reached this point where I'm just "if you don't get it that's on you" KSKSKSKSKDKKDF

YES THE MUTUALLY UNREQUITED TAG;;; I saw a post abt it on Tumblr, I think I tagged it as #marriage crackfic bc that's literally what it is listen;;; it fits so fucking well oh my God

YEAH YEAH MR QUACKS IS SO IMPORTANT TO ME. I was a bit stuck on writing for a while and then iwnas like "wait what if quackity befriends that chicken from the creepcident" and now we're here skskmdmdmdmfk

ALSO YEAH WILBUR AND MR QUACKS S RELATIONSHIP IS V IMPORTANT TO ME

I'm really really glad you like the dialogue abt schlatt. Tbh I think that's like, one of the oldest parts of the fic. I've been writing it on and off for a while now and that was one of the first things I wrote, and I still absolutely adore how it came out. Idk! That bit of dialogue just came out fucking Perfectly for me and I'm still very :]]]]!!!! About it and I'm delighted you like it too!!!!

ALSO YES TECHNO MURDER POG <3

EVERYTIME YOU COMPLIMENT MY DYNAMICS I WEEP;;; I'm just very into characters who are Very Different getting along super well ok. im super duper in love with big stoic and chaotic small and that dynamic lives in my head rent free so you KNOW I gotta write about it as much as possible

YEAAAH THAT BIT WITH THE SBI BOYS WAS A JOY TO WRITE I REALLY REALLY LIKE IT A LOT;;; also yes! Wilbur gets to be unhinged <3 as a treat! AND YES FERAL TOMMY IS SO GOOD. HE IS A TEENAGER AND HE IS READY TO THROW HANDS CONSTANTLY. I imagine rough housing is a very popular way to show affection in the sbi household and tbh I'm a bit feral as well. projecting on to tommy by making him wrestle with techno. KAKAKKSKDKDKF

Ilysm your asks are always such a treat to read I'm very :>>> rn!!!

Also idk anything about TMA but I am looking intently!!! Share your infinite wisdom!!!

[tinydemondragon]

The Syndicate

Character introduction time pog!

(creds to @spooce for the layout, u a real one)

Name: unknown, says to call them red

Age: unknown, looks around 20 but could pass for older. Definitely an adult and that’s all you’re getting

Sexuality: no<3

Gender: Gender apathetic, uses whatever pronouns are convenient at the time

Species: draconic hybrid, but percentage unknown, and refuses to talk about the other two parts

Origin: Unknown to anyone yet, but grew up in the underbelly of Mizu

Occupation: none, as of yet

Appearance

Skin tone: generally hard to tell as they aren’t usually the cleanest and have blood splashed on their body at almost all times, but she is fair skinned with dark scales splashed across her body. The scales, when they catch in the light, glint a dark red.

Hair color: black

Clothing style: leathers that cover their chest and the top portions of their legs, as their scales tend to rip cotton. Owns a corset and a jacket that he rarely wears, but keeps on him for sentimental reasons. He doesn’t wear shoes, as the claws on their feet don’t lend to it. In addition, when angry he often leaves scorch marks where his feet have been, though you wouldn’t know it based on his face.

Accessories: minimal, but a leather cord with a fang is always around their neck. Any attempts to touch it are met with violent retribution. The only other accessory always on their person, if not their body, is a pair of leather fingerless gloves and a set of bracers.

Scars: Numerous but faint. The largest one is on their right eye. Scales surround the eye, but there are missing ones that reveal pink skin underneath, never to grow scales again. Most scars, however, litter his hands, at the knuckles where the hard plated skin of their fingers fades into regular seemingly human skin. The scars here are faint and only visible on close inspection, but he often wears the gloves to hide them.

Wings: the most notable part of her given the state of them. It’s clear that she used to be able to fly, once upon a time, but now she can’t. Her left wing is intact, with small rips in the membrane towards the bottom, but the right wing is gone. All that’s left is remnants of where the wing and the shoulder used to meet. Any attempts to stand behind them on their right side is met with anger and claws. 

Misc details: Very few are close enough to notice the small ruby laid into the top of the dragon tooth, but it is there. It’s the cleanest and most well kept thing he has. He almost always keeps his wing up and back when he’s not using it for stealth, but sometimes he will flex it, like he’s testing to see if it’s still there.

Personality

Childhood: to be revealed

Before the syndicate: They rarely if ever divulge information about themself unless absolutely necessary.. They aren’t in the syndicate right now, rather they lurk on the edges of it. never quite entering, always watching. He's seen people leave and enter, and has no desire to get himself involved in a worship of false gods and rewritten history. 

But there's a pull to this place regardless. A hunger that settles in their gut when they look at this place, that is matched only by the cold anger in their heart. They want to know of the things these people study. She wants to know what they do, wants to compare it to the falsified lies of his past home. 

Maybe it'll be better, maybe it'll be worse. Regardless their curiosity grows, and they can always claw and bite their way out. He's done it before, after all.

Syndicate: not yet joined

Hobbies: they do not have the time for hobbies now, always watching, surviving. Any hobbies they did have are not to be enjoyed anymore, hiding as they are. But they often fiddle with their hands, and it almost looks like they’re turning the pages of a book.

Skills: they are very, very good at hunting. Though they will use weaponry if necessary, they’ve always preferred getting their hands dirty either with their claws or a knife they keep stored in their bracers. She’s managed to learn how to use her wing as a stabilizer to keep her weight off the ground, and she’s capable of sneaking up on just about anyone. In addition, they are capable of blending in, no matter the background or who she’s around.

Current relationships:

None that he’s aware of

[rumongray]

1. Always post the rules. 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 4. Tag 11 people

Tagged by: @lizsama

My Questions:

1) First Cartoon/Anime moment that made you cry? I’ve never cried at a cartoon or an anime. Video games for sure, though. My “first” time was the ending of Xenosaga 3: Also Sprach Zarathustra, but the most profound bit of crying was from the True Pacifist Ending of Undertale. 2) Fondest video game memory? (be it victory or simply a moment you remember that in some form or fashion changed who you were respectively.) First, watching my mom play the Dragon Warrior games and Final Fantasy on the NES. I used to sit in the game/hobby room and just watch her play, usually drawing or something on my own at the same time. I remember mom telling me the story of the later entries as their plots got more and more complex. It planted the seed of my love of RPGs, and it wasn’t until I asked for Final Fantasy III for christmas, that that seed would sprout fully. 3) Something tiny and furry is in the middle of a busy road! It’s hurt!  You rush forward in a frantic desperation, barely being missed by cars, motor bikes and a suspiciously large amounts of house movers.  By the time you get there, you realize it was part of a faux fur coat some scrub lost on her way to Las Vegas with her 90 year old rich Husband. Milk Shake or Soda with your fast food combo? Soda. 4) What action do people do idly (chewing gum, nail biting, snorting, etc) that just… PISS YOU OFF? Getting really really really close to talk to me, and when I back away a bit, they move closer again. Like I’m not super paranoid about this stuff but if I don’t know you, or we’re just work acquaintances, back off man. 5) The first time you outsmarted your parents, how did you feel after upon reflection? I felt sad, because I found a receipt on the counter for something I got from Santa, and put two and two together. XD 6) You could only have one of your favorite classic cancelled cartoons or video game franchises come back exactly the way YOU’D want it…  Which one would you pick? If I needed to pick a specific one? I guess I’d have to say Silent Hill, because I honestly can’t think of anything else that bums me out the most to lose. But if I could pick a concept, I wanna go back to the 80′s - 90′s styles of cartoons and Saturday Morning blocks for them. That was like...my entire childhood right there and it’s just...gone now, both the style and quality of animation, the silly dumb fun series that didn’t need continuity...it’s just a time that I’d love to see return. 7) Who is a kid character from a show/movie/game/book/etc you admire as an adult and why? I admire Emil from NieR, primarily because he’s written very very effectively. He’s a child, and the horrors he experiences (and later one he causes) take their toll on him in the way they should. They emotionally destroy him, and more than once he ends a “boss battle” with the scene being him on the ground sobbing at what had transpired. Nanako from Persona 4 is a close second. A very young child (kindergarten age) who was written and acted in a way that she ISN’T annoying, and in fact got me to care for her? Hell yeah I admire that. 8) Bottlecaps, Stamps, Pogs, Beanie Babies, Coins, Fidget Spinners or Action Figurines… which of these mostly considered “useless hobbies” would you collect just to admire? Action figures. I did it as a kid, I’d do it again. 9) Whats your biggest natural disaster fear? Small scale: Fire. Large scale: Meteor/comet striking the earth. 10) Would you rather lose your mind at an old age but be in perfect physical condition, or stay perfectly clear mentally but have a relatively useless body that cannot carry out your wishes? Clear mentality. The body can be supplemented by machines eventually. 11) The Devil has appeared in front of you and has offered you a deal; whatever you want, fame, fortune, skills, knowledge, love,…anything you desire, in exchange for a soul.  He offers you the opportunity to give him one beside your own…  He makes it simple, as painless as possible for you… pick a name, at random in a book of every living person on the planet.   You know whoever this is, will spend eternity burning, even if you never see it.  Do you do it?

Yes.

-----So I’m not gonna think up any questions, mainly because my sleep aids kicked in while I was answering these, and I need to sleep, haha.Take care guys :D

[rockinrizon]

1. Always post the rules. 2. Answer the questions given by the person who tagged you. 3. Write 11 questions of your own. 4. Tag 11 people

1) First Cartoon/Anime moment that made you cry? It’s strange, but I can’t seem to pinpoint when I had tears. I wanna say it’s an episode somehwere in Sailormoon episode.

2) Fondest video game memory? (be it  victory or simply a moment you remember that in some form or fashion changed who you were respectively.) Beating Smitty and Culex in Super Mario RPG. Those guys were ASSHOLES, but the music made up for it and it felt super satisfying beating them.

3) Something tiny and furry is in the middle of a busy road! It’s hurt!  You rush forward in a frantic desperation, barely being missed by cars, motor bikes and a suspiciously large amounts of house movers.  By the time you get there, you realize it was part of a faux fur coat some scrub lost on her way to Las Vegas with her 90 year old rich Husband. Milk Shake or Soda with your fast food combo? Soda all the way! 4) What action do people do idly (chewing gum, nail biting, snorting, etc) that just… PISS YOU OFF? Silence. I HATE it. Nothing pisses me off more then being with someone/group of people and no one’s saying ANYTHING. I mean, I should also be at fault for this, since I’m not helping with the silence, but usually, people don’t tend to care about the topics I’d like to talk about (least that’s what I feel lol)

5) The first time you outsmarted your parents, how did you feel after upon reflection? Instant regret. My mom gots a habbit of being vengeful and getting back at me. There’s also the feeling of me being too...co-operative with my parents, to the point where if I felt I did something wrong to them, I’d regret it (thankfully that isn’t much of a thing anymore)

6) You could only have one of your favorite classic cancelled cartoons or video game franchises come back exactly the way YOU’D want it…  Which one would you pick? Felix The Cat, as far as cartoon shows. I always loved that show when I was a kid.

7) Who is a kid character from a show/movie/game/book/etc you admire as an adult and why?

Ben 10, mainly because I love the adaptation from the kid and just how goofy he tends to be. The beginning episode kinda spoke to me from my younger self

8) Bottlecaps, Stamps, Pogs, Beanie Babies, Coins, Fidget Spinners or Action Figurines… which of these mostly considered “useless hobbies” would you collect just to admire?

Action figures as well as drawings from various artist

9) Whats your biggest natural disaster fear?

I would say drowning, only cause I can’t swim. Dieing by fire would suck too 10) Would you rather lose your mind at an old age but be in perfect physical condition, or stay perfectly clear mentally but have a relatively useless body that cannot carry out your wishes? OOOOOOOOOO, tough. I’m gonna go with losing my mind, but having a great body condition. Nothing would suck more then retaining that knowledge and memory only to not do anything about it....and worse, relying on others doing it for you. 11) The Devil has appeared in front of you and has offered you a deal; whatever you want, fame, fortune, skills, knowledge, love,…anything you desire, in exchange for a soul.  He offers you the opportunity to give him one beside your own…  He makes it simple, as painless as possible for you… pick a name, at random in a book of every living person on the planet.   You know whoever this is, will spend eternity burning, even if you never see it.  Do you do it? I couldn’t do it. Yes, I’ve grown to be more selfish over the years (which was different when I was younger. I was very selfless), yet I’m still not at the point of taking another innocent life, even at random.

------------

1) How did you get the nickname (if you have one)

2)Favorite type of character (heroic, anti hero, jokester, evil character, etc)

3) If you could remove a character in hopes to make the game/anime/cartoon more enjoyable for you, who would it be?

4)Got Hobbies, kid?

5) If you had a choice between Pizza, Burger (with or without cheese) and chichen, which would you choose?

6) Name a enemy/boss in the game that had the stupidest difficulty curve, but was the most satisfying to beat?

7)What would you say is your most defying feature in your artwork? (3D models, traditional, and digital drawings included)

8)You’re off on adventure to save a princess from a bunch of assholes. Little did you know that by the time you get there, there’s nothing but corps. Even more scary, the princess you were suppose to save is a princess of WAR, armed with an enchanted sword and a shotgun. So, do ya decide to kick it at the ‘Brawling Pug’ for some drinks, or get some food at the Meaty Market?

9) Favorite type of game?

10) If There was one good guy/girl from a video game/cartoon you’d like to see go anti hero then perma villan, who would it be?

11) Do you like Raichu?

I’ll tag @mrwhitefolks @darkshadow7777 @kaboozleskaboodle @toxicsketches (can’t tag anymore. I have no friends ;_; )

[teachanarchy]

Some shows and movies put their agenda right in your face: Transformers was made to sell toys and Camaros, Battlefield Earth was made to placate the space aliens that live inside John Travolta, and Alvin And The Chipmunks 3: Chipwrecked was blatantly advocating for the total genocide of the Danish people. But sometimes a TV show or movie's agenda isn't so clear, because it has been influenced at the highest levels by people you wouldn't expect ...

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5 The Government Made Networks Add Anti-Drug Messages To Their Shows

Disney-ABC Domestic Television

In 1997, the Office of National Drug Control Policy decided that Americans weren't sufficiently terrified of drugs, so they got Congress to give them a billion dollars to buy ad time from networks. They then insisted that the networks do their civic duty and sell the time for half-price. Because when you run the whole country, every day is Black Friday.

The networks obviously wanted that space to be used for something more profitable, like ads for Windows 98 and Pogs. So the ONDCP made them an offer -- work anti-drug messages into the scripts of their shows and they could get their ad slots back. The networks made money, the government got their PSAs, and the people of America learned about the dangers of drugs from the best possible source: sitcoms!

Disney-ABC Domestic Television "Remember, Billy, don't do drugs or you'll end up like Tim Allen."

The ONDCP came up with guidelines and a formula to figure out the monetary value of each "Just Say No" moment. This anti-weed argument on Home Improvement, where Tim Allen's son accidentally makes some compelling counterarguments, equaled $525,000 worth of ad time, this Sports Night monologue about the dangers of getting high and driving scored a $450,000 credit, and this 7th Heaven episode about how you should narc on your weed-dealing friend was only worth $200,000, because even the squares at the ONDCP know what boring looks like. Even The Wayans Bros. was paid for an anti-pot episode, which is ironic considering that an impossible amount of drugs is the only logical explanation for White Chicks.

Columbia Pictures Also white: The mountains of cocaine.

Sometimes producers were explicitly asked for anti-drug episodes, like when Chicago Hope, your mom's favorite '90s hospital drama that didn't star George Clooney, dug up an old script about a mass overdose at a rave that had previously been rejected for being irredeemably terrible. The ONDCP also reviewed scripts to portray drug use "accurately" (read: hyperbolically ruinous).

20th Century Fox Television Kids who go to raves would obviously view these characters as authorities on the subject.

The number of shows with anti-drug messages tripled after the ONDCP started their initiative, but everyone involved insisted that this was all a complete coincidence. "We just happened to realize drugs were terrible at the exact same time this bag of money arrived!" Hollywood said, unconvincingly. Obviously, the initiative was a bust: After a few years, the ONDCP analyzed their data and cancelled the program, concluding only that they had vastly overestimated the persuasive power of Tim Allen.

4 The U.S. Military Supported Black Hawk Down In Exchange For The Removal Of A Rapist

Columbia Pictures

The Pentagon and the CIA have offices dedicated solely to providing technical consultation, equipment, and other support to movies in exchange for script edits that make the military look better, which is how Top Gun became a recruiting tool for the Navy as well as vaguely homoerotic beach volleyball leagues. At first, Black Hawk Down seems like an odd project to support, considering it's about the Battle of Mogadishu, which is widely considered a first-class fuckup. What was supposed to be a quick raid to capture key militants descended into a daylong battle that left 18 Americans, two U.N. soldiers, and hundreds of Somali fighters and civilians dead. No Kenny Loggins power ballad could gloss over that.

Columbia Pictures The highway to Mogadishu's danger zone has significantly more corpses than it does guitar solos.

But the Pentagon liked how, in-between firefights, the characters exchanged grizzled, patriotic man-ologues that were the verbal equivalent of having an American flag shot into your chest by a T-shirt bazooka. They figured that regardless of the politics surrounding the battle, we should still be proud of the soldiers who fought it ... except for John Stebbins, who was later sentenced to 30 years in jail for repeatedly raping his 6-year-old daughter.

Yeah, it's hard to root for a violent, incestual pedophile, no matter how many stirring speeches he gives. The Pentagon pressured the movie's screenwriter to change Stebbins' name and, because they were providing military equipment and training to the actors, he had little choice but to agree. So John Stebbins became John Grimes, a rookie soldier who learns valuable lessons about combat, camaraderie, and most importantly, not raping children.

Columbia Pictures "Oooooh. Do not do that. OK, got it!"

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 by Taboola

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3 The Red Dawn Remake Changed The Villain To Avoid Angering China

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

The 2012 remake of Red Dawn, which made Rocky IV look like a nuanced meditation on Cold War politics, needed a new enemy for a new century. So after a screenwriter Googled "communism" and selected "newest results first," Red Dawn went into production with China as the updated 21st century invaders of America. Unfortunately, the screenplay for this delirious xenophobic fever dream leaked and angered one of China's state-run newspapers, which accused Red Dawn of planting "hostile seeds against China" that would "sprout beanstalks of capitalism" and "unleash the giant bees of Western civilization to pollinate the minds of the proletariat."

All right ... maaaaybe we made up the last two quotes.

Studio executives, not willing to risk offending a foreign nation (and, more importantly, its massive box office), ordered the invading country changed to North Korea in post-production at a cost of $1 million and what little credibility the movie was clinging to. This mostly involved digitally editing all the Chinese flags to Korean ones and coming up with a new opening that explains how North Korea was suddenly capable of occupying the United States despite being so underfunded and technologically backwards that they'd have trouble invading your personal space.

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer North Korea can't afford that many new flags.

"We were initially very reluctant to make any changes, but after careful consideration we constructed a way to make a scarier, smarter and more dangerous Red Dawn that we believe improves the movie," said the producer of a film that was universally panned for being idiotic nonsense and made $44 million against a budget of $65 million. After all the delays and work put into watering down the film's baffling political message, it ended up not even being released in China, because while the movie was no longer actively offending the Chinese government, their citizens continued to not give a shit about the terrible reboot of an '80s political exploitation flick.

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer Hey, did we mention that in the original script, China was able to invade because they controlled America's economy?

2 Playmakers Was Cancelled For Making Football Look Bad

ESPN

ESPN's 2003 drama Playmakers followed the exploits of a fictional professional team called the Cougars. The series showcased the cornucopia of backdoor dealings, drugs, booze, and sex that we all expect -- nay, demand -- from our professional sports teams. The series also managed to win a GLAAD Media Award for its portrayal of a closeted gay wide receiver at a time when "gay wide receiver" was the punchline to a homophobic joke and not a serious possibility. Basically, it was almost everything controversial about football rolled into one melodramatic package, so it's not a huge surprise that the NFL convinced ESPN to cancel it after 11 episodes.

Playmakers got solid ratings and decent reviews, but the NFL hated it with the fire of a thousand suns. First, a call from the NFL's commissioner to the CEO of ESPN's owner, Disney, resulted in ESPN pulling ads for Playmakers from its Sunday night football broadcasts. But that was nowhere near enough for the NFL, whose relentless criticism continued.

ESPN "We just think it's more dramatic when real players commit crimes and suffer horribly."

"It's our opinion that we're not in the business of antagonizing our partner, even though we've done it, and continued to carry it over the N.F.L.'s objections. To bring it back would be rubbing it in our partner's face," said an ESPN executive vice president of the show that just happened to be cancelled in the middle of negotiations with the NFL over a $1.1 billion Monday Night Football contract. Now, ESPN said that "not for a minute did [the NFL] imply that the future of our partnership would be based on this program," but if you rely on someone for the majority of your livelihood and they've made it clear that they don't like what you're doing, you don't push your luck. It's like how you can't get away with leaving your dirty dishes for your roommate to clean when you're a month behind on rent.

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1 The CIA Made Zero Dark Thirty's Torture Look Good

Columbia Pictures

2012's Zero Dark Thirty was a movie about the hunt for and, reality spoiler alert, killing of Osama bin Laden. It was an award-winning critical darling, and the CIA had enough involvement in it that they probably had a hand in writing some of those acceptance speeches.

Zero Dark Thirty's director and screenwriter had a long and controversial relationship with the CIA, who wanted to look as awesome as possible in the movie, so they let the filmmakers see reams of stuff Uncle Sam otherwise wanted to keep hidden. Some of what they did was standard film industry protocol, like buying agents lunch and bottles of tequilas in exchange for insights on the script. (Side note: We will also read your script in exchange for tequila.) But the ZDT team also got crazier privileges, like access to classified documents, in exchange for one itty-bitty concession: The movie had to made torture look effective.

Columbia Pictures "Kathryn Bigelow was the first to make Keanu Reeves look like an effective lead. She can do this."

The CIA maintains that without its "enhanced interrogation techniques," bin Laden never would have been found, a claim the movie backs up by having key information come from waterboarding. This account is disputed by a variety of analysts and politicians, who argue that torture only produces useless false intelligence, and is also kind of a shitty thing to do.

Columbia Pictures Kind of a waste of water too. You know, while we're on the subject.

The ethics and efficacy of torture aside, expecting to get an accurate version of a controversial series of events from the agency directly responsible for them is like expecting to write an accurate dramatization of a high-profile murder case by only interviewing O.J. Simpson.