#but this year i’m going to try and b easy on myself

[my-chemical-rot]

Looooove it (/s) when people who haven’t taken an art class since 5th grade make all kinds of judgements about college-level art classes and say shit like “isn’t it an easy class though? Don’t you get an A just for showing up? Or just for participating? You don’t actually have to be good at art to pass that class right?” Like okay maybe when you’re ten years old your art teacher isn’t gonna grade you by technique and skill but contrary to popular belief you actually have to be *good* at art and work your fucking ass off every single day to get a good grade in an art class

[domreader-headcannon-scenarios]

I’m not sure if you’re into a/b/o but I think you’ve written stuff about heat in the past but if this ask is too much feel free to delete it.

I don’t know much about a/b/o myself but I’m pretty sure there’s this thing where if the omega isn’t in a good environment then their heat will like shut off or something? But imagine that with the angels of WHB. Like they’ve never had a heat before and then after Christmas and after you touch them for the first time their bodies get confused and think “oh is this a good time” and boom it’s their first heat and they need you to deal with it cause I mean it IS your fault.

Yes I love heats! Heat cycles are hot and cute!🖤🤍

Yeah so irl animals (including humans) will stop going into heat/ovulating, if they aren’t in a safe environment, they won’t have a heat/ovulate and it will continue until they are in a ‘safe’ environment!

So it makes sense since they’ve been at war for hundreds of years, they’ve never even experienced an orgasm, and given their forced to wear cock cages and their body wouldn’t understand why, their bodies assumed they simply have chosen not to ‘mate’ since the environment is unsafe. So once we open the flood gates, their unable to stop their heat cycle, they’ve never felt this kind of pleasure and frustration until they met you.

So once their heat starts, they think you can fix it since YOU started it, that’s only fair right?

-

Intro:

After Christmas the angels were returned to Heaven and exhausted, they just want to sleep. They clean themselves off thinking it’s best to just sleep and not think about it, as every time they think about it, they start getting hard and can’t ignore it…

They try their best and come morning, they are more h*rny then they’ve ever been in their entire life. Nothing is going on in their head except for wanting to find you and make you fix this!

They’d just need to isolate you…the thought of waiting sent a heavy ache between their legs.

They’d just have to go to hell and fetch you…

Gabriel

Cw cock cage, heats, slight kidnapping

-

He hated this…he could barely fly, needing to stop every few minutes to catch his breath. It’s infuriating…all the more reason he needs to find you, he can’t take this! He’s struggling to walk, fly and talk! The entire time his damn dick wouldn’t stay down.

It was so hard to avoid demons too, panting and flapping your wings like a flightless bird leaves him easy to spot, which means he needs to use back streets��which leaves it harder for him to spot you…

It took hours and it was agonizing…as soon as he heard your name, he felt his cock straining and it was horrible, he hurried to the demon he heard your name from…two demons were talking to you and his heart skipped a beat realizing this was the perfect opportunity…even as his mind is foggy and all he can think about it dropping to his knees and begging you for help…

He sees Satan, looking away talking to the little red devil and decides to follow through with his first thoughts…he snuck close to you, grabbed you fast pretending to be playing with you can’t see his face, he took into the sky as fast as he could, barely holding the two of you up. The screams you let out almost has him land to check if he somehow hurt you, but seeing Satan is now looking his way, he decides to keep carrying you, he can’t risk losing you when he’s this close to having you!

He’s holding you tightly and goes higher and higher until you can’t even see the demons below. He groans as you struggle against him. “P-put me down!” You scream, while you’re struggling against him, he whines and is forced to land on what honestly looks look a floating platform, leaving you with nowhere to go.

Gabriel collapses beside you, an arm wrapped around you as he smells you, pressing himself against you with a purr. “I-I’m sorry. Y-you started this, f-fix it and I’ll return you, u-unharmed!” He moans out, rubbing against you, his cock cage snagging on his clothes leading to him undressing in front of you. You’re surprised but you imagine whatever mental state he’s in, he’s past being embarrassed.

“W-what did I start?” You ask and in response he gestures to his straining cock, the cage appearing far too tight…looking like it’s crushing his manhood, it’s dripping so much you could easily make a cup of…well angel cum. “Oh, you…got aroused and came here? I suppose Hell is more accepting of a horny angel-“

Gabriel cries out. “N-no! W-well yes but, it’s hard! It ain’t go down! It feels likes…what you did on Christmas…please just, do that again?” Gabriel pleads, looking to you hopefully, you…recognize the look, you’ve seen it in Satan…you blush and smile.

“You’re in heat, y-you…you’ve never experienced it before?” You ask curiously, you guess maybe…you awoken something in him. “I’ll help…but you’re returning me right afterwards.” You demand, the angel quickly nods, guiding your hand to the cage.

Michael

Cw: cock cages, heats

-

Michael was half limping through Hell…his wings were out, trembling, he didn’t bother hiding them, any demon would recognize him why bother hiding?

He attempts to avoid being seen but doesn’t avoid a few fights trying to find you, thigh it did work in his favor when the commotion brought you, along side Mammon to him. His eyes lock on you in a instant. He abandons the fight and launches himself towards you, even in his clumsy state he avoids getting hit aside by Mammon.

By letting himself slam into you, his two other sets of wings appear a moment later and you are both airborne while he tries to adjust you in his grip like your a squirming dog. He tries to shush you, trying to figure out where he’s going to take you for this…

He ends up deciding…you’re coming with him to Heaven, he lands on a quiet area, that seems more like a side street. He collapses as soon as there’s solid ground beneath you both, he’s considerate enough to land next to you with only an arm around you so he doesn’t crush you.

He grabs you as you try to get up. “N-now…you can help me in peace.” He groans out, letting go of you to unzip his pants, letting his caged cock slip into your vision. You pause, it’s…dripping a lot…almost like he’s setting himself in front of you.

“W-wow…” You murmur, enjoying the sight, though you’ve heard enough from the demons to know clear signs of heat. “So…you’re cage…is in the way. I think taking it off will help but…” You trail off. You only got Rapheal’s off because if a Christmas miracle…

Raphael

Cw: heats, spitting on a d!ck

-

He basically crash lands into Hell, he surprising shows up in the same district as you, though it’s likely because he’d had plenty of time to scent you during the kiss you two shared on Christmas. Raphael feels his body heat up at that memory.

‘I want more of that!’ He hissed to himself, he let any devils see him, he knew the more devils that see him, the odds a king would show would get higher, and with the kings there’s a chance you follow!

Not was flawed logic but he only had your phone number, not an address to look for you and he’s certain a call asking to meet up alone isn’t a good idea!

Or maybe it is but that’s awkward…

Raphael was still trying to figure up how to tell you to help him, he was so hard, it’s basically painful! Yet…it’s kinda of good, as much as he hated the constant arousal, in his own masochist way, he wanted more, but he wanted you before he was overwhelmed.

Raphael hears your voice distinctly over the screams of civilians panicking over an angel walking through the streets, he takes odd into the sky and quickly surveys the surrounding area.

He spots you fast, hiding behind one of the kings subjects, Raphael didn’t bother looking at who it could be, or even which king was after him. The King was between him, the subordinate and you. He just needed to…

Raphael snorted in frustration at the predicament and knowing the king can’t fly, he jolts out of the way, wings beating way harder than they should in his arousal driven state. Once he ‘passes’ the king he suddenly dives and swoops past the demon guarding you, when he grabs you and begins taking into the air, he can hear you panting.

He feels a little bad realizing he knocked the wind out of you from the speed he was going. He will make it up to you later, maybe, but for now he just needs you away from the pesky demons!

By the time he actually lands, you have no idea where you are, it’s like a cove by a forest edge, secluded, silent, no way to get here without flying, so you were trapped with him.

Raphael let’s go of you once he’s on solid ground, letting you stumble away from him while he slowly approaches you like you’re a scared dog. “Calm down, Descendant of Adam. If I had wanted to hurt you I would have dropped you or done worse. J-just deal with…this,” He gestures to the tent in his pants. “And we will be done, alright?”

He says with a blush trying to hide his embarrassment while hoping you will agree. You look between him, the surrounding are and his erection. His clothes aren’t helping him, showing off his body and how excited his is, though you doubt he’s practiced controlling when he gets hard, you doubt he even knows he can do that.

“And if I refuse?” You say, grinning as the angel looked shocked, almost like he didn’t consider you’d say no. “What will you do? You think I’m just gonna jerk you off everytime you get hard?” You sneer. “Do it yourself.”

Raphael’s eyes widen.

“W-wait, that pleasure you gave me…I can experience on my own??” Raphael looked so confused. He quickly undressed and threw his clothes aside. “Show me! Now!”

You laughed and blushed, much to the angels confusion, while he was flustered, naked and rock hard, you were fully clothed, blushing a bit and beyond confused. “Geez…what’s gotten into you silly?”

You playfully teased and looking up at Raphael, it hit you.

He was giving you bedroom eyes, his cock is dripping even though it’s untouched, it looks to be pulsing to the beat of his heart, giving you an idea of how aroused he was.

“Oh, you’re in heat! If…you promise to do what as I say and not hurt me, I’ll help, deal?” Raphael nodded to your rules fast. “Alright. Stay still.” You get up and walk over, waning over, you spit on his cock, earning a whorish moan. His cock bounced upwards like it was begging for more.

You grab his cock with your non dominant hand and lazily stroke his cock, he’s instantly whining, bucking his hips and moaning. He is jumping your hand quite roughly, with a mischievous grin, your free hand reaches down and light squeezes his balls and holds them there so he can’t thrust.

Raphael loudly whines, squirming as you slowly stroke his cock. “See what I’m doing? If you gently rub it like this, it’ll help your aching fade.” You say, grinning as the angel trembled in bless and overstimulation. Poor guy’s cock is sk sensitive!

[nimrochan]

I don’t think that my few handfuls of followers on various social media accounts realize that I’m an American-Israeli. I’ve been watching things unfold and staying silent for the most part. I know it’s very easy to have an opinion from the comfort and safety of my home, but too many people are also echoing online opinions without enough information or thought behind them. Although it’s fair to say that I’m biased, I think it’s important to view conflicts from multiple perspectives. Including and especially from someone from the actual region/culture that everyone outside of it suddenly has an opinion on. And I think I’m ready to say what I wanted to say:

Why aren’t people more angry with Hamas?

I’ve spent some childhood years in Israel. Every week on the news was another incident - a bus b*mbing, a car b*mbing, a s*icide b*mber… I remember being terrified of getting on buses, or going to public places. I remember soldiers standing at the entrance of every mall, and I remember hearing how one soldier died while stopping a s*icide b*mber at a mall entrance - both were women in their early 20’s. Until today my father tells me to avoid crowded places, and to always stand in a corner with my back on the wall to observe my surroundings.

When I moved to America I had moved on from these memories and didn’t really think about them. But the attacks never stopped. For DECADES. And over the last few years I did notice that very few non-Jewish Americans were aware of what life is like in Israel - having a barrage of rockets rain on you every once in a while. Having alerts to warn you to head to the nearest shelter. Israel has the protection of the Iron Dome. But it’s not perfect, and some rockets do hit their targets. Also, you know, maybe people shouldn’t be firing rockets unprovoked into another country?? (Don’t even get me started on Hezbollah, too.) No one bats an eye if other countries randomly shoot rockets into Israel, but as soon as Israel retaliates to try destroying the area where rockets come from, everyone comes out of the woodwork to condemn them.

Some of my American family members have an app that dings every time rockets are fired into Israel. I could never bring myself to download it. The number of dings drives me crazy.

In fact, if you ever wanted to buy a piece of jewelry or sculpture made of Hamas rockets, there are businesses upcycling them.

If you’re not from Israel, I just want you to imagine the number of rockets that regularly have to come into your country for any rockets-to-products businesses to even exist. For reasons beyond my comprehension, a lot of political parties in America want to defund the Iron Dome, a system designed solely for defense. But I digress.

Gazans never had an Iron Dome and yet Hamas gives no regard to the lives of their own people when they fire openly from homes, schools, hospitals. When they hide hostages and weapons in heavily populated areas.

I remember frantically texting and calling people on 10/07 to see if any of my family members were harmed or killed in the attack. All while anti-Zionists already rallied on social media to offer no sympathy and blame the attack on the Jews on, the Jews. Right. Luckily, whatever close family I had in the area was far away enough from the attack that they were spared, and they soon evacuated. My second cousin and her kids were only spared because they happened to be away, but their home was in ashes and their friends and neighbors were dead.

Israel is a small and close-knit country. I don't have words to describe how we grieved. 1200 innocent civilians sl*ughtered for no reason. That number is just a little under half of the number of deaths on 9/11, and it was done without the help of airplanes, just men running around killing people. The youngest one was 14 hours old. This is the largest m*rder of Jews since the Holocaust. I won’t even go into detail about how some of their bodies were mutilated because it’s too horrific for me to want to type it out. In fact I left the most disturbing footage out of this post. I had been avoiding seeing the footage of Shani Louk, but it was shown at the exhibit too and I’ll never be able to forget it for as long as I live. It made me sick to my stomach.

Look at the pictures. Look at all those shoes. The last time I felt such powerful emotion staring at shoes was at a Holocaust museum. A lot of item displays included their owners’ smart phones showing their final videos on a loop. The people who attend the Nova festival tend to be laid-back, free spirits. They show up covered in glitter and wearing fairy-wings, waving rainbow flags. They lived next to Gaza because they felt safe there, and they often supported Palestinians. Listen to the unhindered joy in the voice of the man calling his father to tell him he had m*rdered ten Jews. One of the most disgusting parts of this is the fact that people protested outside this exhibit as well.

When I brought myself to browse social media again, over and over I saw posts about how “they deserved it” and “they had it coming.” The same people, the same self-proclaimed “feminists” who would shared the #MeToo and #YesAllWomen hashtags, people with immensely large followings, were now having no sympathy for the Israeli women who were r*ped, basically saying “she asked for it.” People defending and excusing Hamas because they “weren’t created in a vacuum.” When did we start excusing r*pe and t*rrorism for ANY reason? On that note, don’t you think Israel’s aggressive defense of itself also stems from a historical reason, shaped by outside forces?

And then there are many voices still expressing plain denial! This was the most well-documented t*rrorist attack in history, because the attackers filmed it with pride, and yet over and over I also saw people posting about how “it never happened,” “they would never do that,” and how these t*rrorists were just “resistance fighters” with propaganda crafted to “make them look bad.”

In my home state of New York, I saw people marching wearing same types of scarves that these “resistance fighters” wore to commit crimes against humanity so recently, tearing down posters of Israeli hostages instead of hanging their own posters on innocent killed Gazans and sharing in the grief.

I see people over and over calling Israelis “white colonists,” when in fact MOST OF THEM ARE BROWN, dark-skinned just like their neighbors (if I showed you photos of my family in Israel, you'd be surprised to learn they aren't Arabic). We are an ethnic minority on this planet and in every country except Israel, but antisemites love to flip the script and paint us as majority white colonizer oppressors. When the majority of Americans calling for the abolishment of Israel are themselves actually living on colonized land (I mean, really?) When most of North Africa has been colonized by Arab populations, yet everyone seems to conveniently forget that. Most alarmingly, I see people marching the streets and praising Hamas and the actual 10/07 attacks.

These same people probably could never spot Gaza on a map before 10/07. Where were they for the Chinese Uyghurs? Where were they for the mass murdered Syrians? For Afghans left at the mercy of the Taliban? For Iraqis killed after 9/11? For Darfur? Because no news unless Jews, right? How can you say you care about Muslims and then praise Hamas? How can you be Pro-Palestine and Pro-Hamas at the same time?! There is a huge, sick problem in America when college students here are applauded by overseas t*rrorist leaders on goddamn Twitter.

And these “Queers for Palestine”- where is the support for the gayest, most feminist, and most liberal country in the Middle East? (Go ahead and look up which country in the Middle East holds annual Pride Parades.) Where is the support for the millions of Arab-Israelis and other non-Jews who call Israel their home? Where is the support for the Arabs and non-Jews also killed on 10/07? Where are the feminists using their voices to demand Hamas return the hostages that are very likely being r*ped as I type this?

I feel like I’m going crazy telling people that there is a lot of fake news and propaganda being spread by Hamas and eaten up by the West. I am not the kind of person to use the phrase “fake news.” But when I see some extreme footage allegedly showing the IDF doing something especially horrible, I count the hours or days before the news is silently retracted because it turned out to be incorrect. Propaganda against Jews has seeped so far into gentile culture over the decades that people don't even realize it. It’s become sickeningly casual and normalized in all kinds of circles. Hell, I don’t even know who to vote for or who secretly wants me dead - the left side with the pro-Hamas crowd or the right side with their white supermacists .

No, I am not denying that a lot of innocent Gazans are dying horrific deaths. When I see footage of injured Palestinian children, I don’t look away and pretend it doesn’t happen, because it does. But what about Hamas dressing up as civilians, firing weapons among civilians, and continuing to hide the hostages??? What about the 15-17 year old brainwashed children marching with guns? When is enough enough? You know which army doesn’t hide in civilian clothing, or recruit children, or parade naked dead women around after they’ve killed them?? Take a guess.

War is fucking awful. And I'm not trying to justify it, just trying to articulate why this is such a clusterfuck of a situation. Someone please name any other country that wouldn’t retaliate and demand their hostages back after such an ugly, unprovoked attack. Someone please explain to me why the hatred is so intense and out of proportion. Again, DECADES of attacks. Someone please tell me what should be done - because if you do nothing, then 10/07 happens over and over and over again. Israelis are all living, breathing people with families just like Gazan civilians are. Stop dehumanizing us.

Why is it that after the Ukraine-Russia war started, when most westerners were on Ukraine’s side (including myself so don’t jump down my throat), that individual Russians living in western countries did not feel threatened the way individual Jews are being threatened? That war actually seems a way more black-and-white situation to me. Why did the Israeli singer for Eurovision need presidential-level protection from the mob gathered outside her hotel? Why did the other contestants continually insult her? You think every single Jew on the planet has a say in what happens in Israel?

Why am I going on social media to dumb down, only to see posts like “Reblog to increase IDF soldier s*icides” and “Like to # CeaseFire” and “From the river to the sea” (that expression basically means to promote the killing of all Israelis, I don’t care how you look at it). Why are you trying to call a cease fire with t*rrorists who are known to constantly break ceasefire, then make a surprised Pikachu face when they do it again?

Anti-Zionism is a clever cover for anti-semitism. The very definition of Zionism is the pursuit of an independent Jewish state (of which there is currently only ONE - for comparison, there are 57 Muslim countries). A lot of people don’t even know what Zionism is when they call themselves Anti-Zionist. And if you do? Most Jews are Zionist. You can’t separate semitism from Zionism to make yourself feel better. Israel is such a tiny country, it takes 6 hours to drive end-to-end across the longest part. While all over the world, synagogues are being threatened, Jewish graveyards are being vandalized, and Jews are being attacked, you are absolutely telling me and my people that we don’t deserve a safe space. And yes, Jews are indigenous to the Middle East just like Arabs are.

How do people rally against discrimination, but in the same breath act like discrimination towards Jews doesn’t count? You can’t reason your way out of it. You do not get to tell me what is and isn’t antisemitic.

Hamas does NOT give a damn about the actual land that Jews are living on. Hamas’s ultimate goal is to kill all Jews (it's LITERALLY spelled out in their government charter), is that what people want?? And even if you deny it, you think you could theoretically move all 8 million Jews out of Israel to where exactly?

You think other countries want to welcome a mass migration of 8 million Jews? (Remember why Jews left in the first place?) You want literal t*rrorists to have a stronger foothold in the Middle East?

Why do the surrounding countries condemn Israel, yet not step up to help Gazans either? Why won’t they open up their borders?

I’m sick and tired of people who have zero stake in the Middle East and very little knowledge just jumping on the bandwagon and virtue-signaling like it’s some clear black-and-white situation when it’s not. And then having the nerve to lecture ME. I’m angry and I’m frustrated.

Bring them the fuck home.

[snitchcrimsonwrites]

Maybe pt. 2

Pairing: Norm MacLean X Female Reader or OC

Former friends to a relationship?

Life is pretty easy in Vault 33 until you're trying to rekindle a former friendship and raiders attack. Now, our main characters are trying to navigate newfound feelings all while undercovering the mysteries of Vault 33. Stay tuned. Follows the main storyline of season 1; some events may be reordered for plot.

Some of the conversation feels a little clunky, but we want these two to make up and move on, right?

Part 1 Here Part 7 Here Part 12 Here

Part 3 Here Part 8 Here

Part 4 Here Part 9 Here

Part 5 Here Part 10 Here

Part 6 Here Part 11 Here

Norm hates this feeling. Laying in bed, he can feel his stomach twisted in knots. This gut-wrenching feeling has kept him up most of the night, realizing he’s got to make a decision. As far as he’s deduced from his sleepless night of pondering, he’s got two primary options. 

Option A. He pretends yesterday’s conversation with (Y/N) never happened, and they continue exchanging small talk, pleasantries, and those awkward neighbor half-waves until the end of time. The scaredy cat in him prefers this option. It avoids confrontation and maintains the status quo they’ve held for the last couple of years. It is simple and lacks any unnecessary entanglements. Things just go on according to plan. He’s done it before, it can easily be done again. 

OR he can proceed with Option B to confront (Y/N) about what she said in the cafeteria yesterday. This option has sparked his curious side. Cause that entire interaction was odd, wasn’t it? Norm had so many questions, but are they worth pursuing? Opening that can of worms could lead to more problems, more decisions, and fewer answers. No. He needed to know. Curiosity might just kill the cat, but at least he’d be able to sleep at night. 

(Y/N) worked in one of the maintenance labs as Vault 33’s official Pip-Boy Programmer—one of the perks of doing well on the Vault G.O.A.T exams. Norm was eager, planning to stop by the lab first thing before he headed to his desk. Unless someone had major issues with their Pip-Boy, they’d probably have the lab to themselves that early. Alright, it was decided. He threw off the certified Vault-Tec comforter, climbed out of bed, and headed toward the shower to get ready. 

—--------------------

You were already at your desk, pretending to be occupied, when Norm MacLean appeared in the doorway of the lab, leaning on the doorframe and fiddling with his Pip-Boy. Truth be told, you were half-expecting him, especially after yesterday. But maybe not this soon. You were hoping he’d stew on this decision for at least a day.

“Good Morning, Norm. Pip-Boy on the fritz?” you ask, knowing full well that the reason he was here had nothing to do with his Pip-Boy. Even if his Pip-Boy was malfunctioning, Norm was more than capable of taking care of that repair without your assistance. 

“Yeah, I think I’m having some software issues. Do you think you could do a diagnostic run for me?” 

You smile, “Of course. If you wouldn’t mind taking it off and filling out the repair form, I can start right away.” 

He complies, handing you his Pip-Boy and taking the clipboard with the attached Vault-Tec paperwork. As he starts on the paperwork, he estimates he’s got roughly twenty minutes of fake errand cover to work with. 

You attach the Pip-Boy to the diagnostic cable running from your computer, load up the program, and wait. “It will just be a few minutes to get a full picture of what’s going on,” you reassure him. 

“That’s fine. My supervisor knows I was having a few issues with it this morning,” Norm says, barely looking up from the clipboard. 

The two of you fall into awkward silence, neither wanting to be the first to break it. 

You relent. “Hey, I’m sorry if yesterday made you uncomfortable. I know we haven’t spoken much at all lately, but I heard about what happened from Reg, and I just couldn’t stop myself from coming over. It wasn’t right of me to use your situation as my catharsis, especially since we had that failing out. I should have respected that. We can continue on as we were, friendly neighbors in the same Vault.” The words stuck in your throat on the way out. That’s not what you wanted, but if that’s what Norm came here to say, better get it out of the way sooner. 

Oof, now he felt terrible. Norm should have known you’d apologize for thinking you made him uncomfortable. That’s your nature. You’ve always been empathic to the needs of your friends. He needs to come clean. 

“I never wanted that.” 

I’m sorry. What did he say? He never wanted that. To stop being friends? Your brain was going a mile a minute, swirling with questions, too many to vocalize at once. Thankfully, Norm elaborated before you even tried. 

“I never wanted to stop being friends, but the closer we got to graduation, the more effort you seemed to put into exams and passing, being the best in the class. You had ambitions and goals, and (Y/N) you could achieve them. You didn’t need to be dragged down by the Black Sheep of Vault 33.” He tries not to think about his label, and usually, it doesn’t bother him. But right now,  it weighs on him; it feels laminated across his forehead, defining him. 

“Norman,” you manage to sigh out. “I’ve always admired that about you. That’s what I meant yesterday. I wish I had the confidence to act that way before now; I’m sure I’d be much happier. After my dad passed away, I wasn’t sure how I was going to navigate,” you gesture to the air around you, "everything. I was on my own, and subconsciously, I picked up on the reality that the better I did in that classroom or for the Vault, the more control I thought I could have over my life.” 

She didn’t need to explain. He knew exactly what she meant. It is kind of an unspoken rule of Vault 33. Obviously, those who did well on their exams got matched into the most coveted jobs within the vault, but those placements also impacted other situations. Those higher-achieving students had more say in when and to whom they were married, more access to leadership positions, and the list goes on. 

“I had no idea how my life would go, but at least I knew I wanted a hand on the steering wheel. I mean, I’m not sure if I actually want to be married or if that’s part of the programming to be in a relationship, but whatever happens, I want it to at least feel as though I made the decision." You pause and add, "Seriously, could you imagine if I got stuck having to marry Chad Johnston?” 

Norm snorted. The juxtaposition of his former classmates as a married couple was hilarious. Those two couldn’t be more opposites. “Well, at least he’d have someone to teach him to read,” he managed between laughs. 

This garnered a snicker from you as well. “Haha, you’re hilarious,” you say in the most sarcastic tone you can muster. “So, what do you think? Can we act like adults and finally move on? Or do we double down on whatever self-destructive tendencies we’ve got going on here?” 

“Hmmm, I don’t know about you, but I’m really leaning into that second one.” He pauses and puts his hand to his chin. “On the other hand, it might be nice to have lunch with someone I’m not related to.”

DING. “Vault-Tec Pip-Boy diagnostic program is now complete, no issues were detected.” 

You both smile. “Well, it looks like the software issues seemed to have resolved themselves.” 

“Isn’t technology incredible?” Norm asks as he stands to leave. 

[ikeromantic]

Cruelty

A Chevalier Michel fanfiction. Approx. 4500 words. This scene takes place in Chapter 19 of the main route and is told from Chevalier’s POV. Part 17 of a series.

Chapter List

Chevalier felt an unusual lightness as he sat beside the Belle in his private dining room. He enjoyed watching her enjoy the food and wine. Enjoyed her chatter about the day, he past, her books. This warmth haunted him every day since the Belle confessed her love. 

He knew it was pure foolishness to allow himself to feel this way. A pleasurable nothing. Part of him knew his affair with this uncommon commoner would lead only to tragedy, but the other part, the near-silenced heart of him, wanted her to be right.

“What are you thinking about?” Emma tilted her head, gaze inquisitive. 

Chevalier deflected. “You don’t speak much about your family.”

She nodded. “My only family is Mr. Akatsuki. He practically raised me. I know I had a home before him - parents. But it’s just bits and pieces. A certain smell. A room I can half recall. Sometimes a smell.” Emma shrugged. “What about you? I never hear you talk about the king or your mother.”

“There is no point in discussing it.” 

Of course, Emma wasn’t going to be so easily denied. “Sariel gave me the bare facts. I know it couldn’t have been an easy childhood, so I understand if you don’t want to tell me about it.” She laid a hand on his arm. “But I’m here if you -”

He snorted. “You will worry about it if I don’t say anything more.” The look in her eye confirmed that truth. “Fine. My father had no interest in me. I spent years trying to be the best, to prove myself. But he only cared for the love he’d lost, and the child lost with her.”

Emma took a sip of wine, knowing him well enough to understand that a trite comforting statement would only irritate him. 

Chevalier continued. “My mother yearned for his affection, and missed her home.” He recalled the queen, her cold misery, the silent distances between them. “She found me distasteful. A strange child, an unpleasant reminder of her situation. I only saw either of them at court.” He shook his head. “It isn’t important.”

“It is to me.” She leaned her head against his shoulder, giving him her comforting warmth. “I wish you’d had a Mr. Akatsuki too. Someone to hug you and tell you everything would be ok.”

He gave a mirthless laugh. “I wouldn’t have appreciated the lie.”

“But maybe you would have liked the hug.” Emma glanced up at him. “Can I hug you, Prince Chevalier?”

“If it will make you stop asking me about my parents, then yes.” 

She wrapped her arms around him and laid her head against his chest. Despite himself, it felt good to he embraced, and his arms went around her to hold her tight. These moments could not last, but he cherished them. 

Much later, after seeing Emma to her room, he found himself wondering how she might prove their love was anything besides foolhardy. What might he accept as evidence? What outcome could she hope for? She wanted to prove he was more than the Brutal Beast, but there was no way to do so. 

Chevalier knew he would kill again, and sentence thousands to their death if necessary. And he would not regret the life lost so long as the objective was met. The kingdom mattered more. More than a life, more than the lives of any one village - or any one prince. How could a man that believed that be anything but a beast? 

***

Chevalier stepped into her room, intending to gift her a decorative candleholder. He’d chosen it from several gifts sent to him by merchants hoping to curry favor. Fools they were, but this one was pretty and he thought she might like it. The silver was worked in the shape of an exquisite flower, so delicately wrought that it was nearly a work of art.

The Belle sat on her bed, head bent over a history book. She was so wrapped up in the text that she didn’t even notice him come in. “Emma.” She didn’t so much as twitch, so he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled out his own book. The candleholder dropped to the bed beside him, largely forgotten.

It was hours later that she sat up and stretched, making a satisfied sound as she worked the kinks from her muscles and joints. “I guess I was too engrossed,” she said to herself.

“Indeed.”

The Belle did a little jump at the sound of his voice. He smiled at her when their eyes met, hers wide with surprise. 

“I did call out to you once.” He gestured toward the book in her lap. “For a simpleton you have considerable powers of concentration.”

“I’m sorry. I completely didn’t notice!”

He chuckled and shut his book. She was adorably flushed with embarrassment, color high in her cheeks. 

“What’s that?” Emma gestured to the candleholder at his side. 

“A merchant who came to the palace left it as a gift. It was in the way, so I’m giving it to you.” Chev tossed it to her.

She caught it with a shout of surprise. “What - whoa!” She examined the candleholder, clearly pleased. “It’s beautiful. Are you sure I can have this?”

He shrugged. “If you don’t want it, I’ll get rid of it.”

“No, no. I do! Thank you.” She smiled and set it on her nightstand.

“If you want to thank me, don’t ask pointless questions.” He couldn’t help but smile at her. She was so happy, deriving pleasure from things in a way that he never could. 

The Belle smiled back at him, then her expression fell. An anxiousness gripped her. He knew immediately why. Her promise to show him the value of this love they shared for each other. The use of it. She was no closer to an answer for him but not ready to give up either. “You really do show everything you’re thinking,” he scoffed.

“What is it this time?”

“Nothing.” He didn’t want to ridicule her for her efforts or explore too deeply why he was indulging in this pointless affection. Spending time together was pleasurable but it would lead to nothing. However, there was a better way for her to prove her theorem, he thought. A tangible outcome of her idealistic notion, should she manage to pull it off. But if anyone could succeed, it would be Emma.

Chevalier stood. “Let’s go.”

“What? Where?”

He stopped and turned to look at her. “Come along and find out. Oh, and I’m sure I don’t need to say this, but refusing is not one of your options.” Chev smiled again, knowing she didn’t want to refuse anyway.

His carriage waited for them outside, and he helped her into it. The ride into the city was pleasant. Quiet except for the creaking of the carriage wheels and the clop of horse hooves. She sat beside him on the padded bench, her leg pressed to his thigh. Chevalier was hyper aware of the sensation, the fabric of her skirts rustling. The slight tensing of her leg at each bump in the road. He enjoyed it, even as it set an odd tension within him.

They finally came to a stop along a backalley. The few lampposts here were not lit, the only light came from the moon above, and the faint flickering of candlelight from nearby windows. 

Emma looked alarmed as he helped her down from the carriage, but Chevalier knew they had nothing to fear. Not here. He led her to the front of a shop where a brawny man stood guard. Interestingly, Emma did not look surprised by this place. Meaning Clavis had certainly brought her here before, as suspected.

The guard saw him coming and his brows drew down as his shoulders squared. Fool. “I’m very sorry but today our shop is completely booked - w-wait! Are you Prince Chevalier?!”

“You’re in my way. Move.”

The guard’s mouth fell open. He might have been ready to challenge the prince again, but Chev brushed him aside as if he were no more than an annoying gnat.

Chevalier paused a few steps inside to survey the room. The crowd was diverse, but none of the faces he knew were unexpected. His gaze found the one special guest he’d hoped would come. Hiding behind a pillar, recognizable even in peasant’s clothes.

As the prince stood there watching them, the anti-war faction’s chatter fell silent and all eyes turned to Chevalier. Tension hung in the air, thick as smoke.

“That’s - no way!” One man shouted.

“It’s Prince Chevalier,” a woman called out.

Beside him, Emma stood on tiptoe to whisper in his ear, her voice heavy with worry. “Why exactly are we here?”

“This is the meeting place of the anti-war faction.” He gave a small sigh of annoyance. “Apparently they have regular awareness-raising activities with messages like, ‘Don’t allow the second prince’s heinous acts to continue’ and ‘Take up arms.’ ‘Create a revolution.’ Stop the war.’” Chevalier laughed humorlessly. 

Emma’s eyes were wide with fear, but she kept her voice and the rest of her expression calm. “Prince Chevalier, what do you plan to do here?”

He was surprised she didn’t assume he’d come to kill them all. That was certainly the most direct way to deal with their interference. He smirked. “Watch and see for yourself.” He strode forward and the crowd parted for him. 

Chevalier cast an arrogant glance over them. “What is it? There’s no need to pay any attention to me. Pretend I’m not here and talk freely amongst yourselves.” He sat down in one of the chairs and waited for them to make the next move.

No one said anything for a long moment, then a thin, well-dressed man approached. “I never imagined I would see you here, your Highness.” Chev knew him instantly. The baron, Flandre. Despite his demeanor, unyielding rage burned in the depths of his eyes. 

Across the room, Emma tensed. She knew who this was as well, and with what regard he held the Prince. 

Lord Flandre smiled as sharp as a dagger’s edge. “What sort of business do you have with us today? Did you intend to purge us like you did the others?” 

“You catch on quick,” Chevalier held his arrogant smirk. “I’ve come to cut off your heads if you commit an act of treason against my kingdom.” He gestured to the room at large. “Now, why don’t you hurry up and start your little meeting?”

There was an audible rippled through the gathered people. A collective gasp as blood drained from fearful faces. 

“Your Highness, are you being serious?” Flandre took a step back, uncertain now that the Brutal Beast had bared his fangs. 

The prince shrugged. “There’s no sense in letting rabble-rousers do what they want, is there? Even if they claim innocence.” 

Flandre bit his lip, bringing a bead of blood to the surface. Anger warred with fear in his expression, as easy to read for Chev as the Belle.

“All of you have two choices. Loyalty or death.” Chevalier rested his hand on the hilt of his sword. “I should tell you that I take your silence to mean you intend to commit treason. You know what will happen if you say nothing, right?” 

Still, no one said a word. Even their breath was held. 

Chevalier stood and drew his sword, holding it aloft. 

Emma stepped forward, no fear in her face now. Only determination and concern. “Prince Chevalier. Please wait.” She stepped between him and the members of the anti-war faction. 

Here it was, he thought, keeping a smile on the inside. His Belle was so brave, moreso than all these pretend revolutionaries combined. “If you get in my way, you’ll wind up as a stain on my sword,” he warned.

She nodded as if this were merely an expected possibility. “Even supposing the people gathered here ARE considering treason against the kingdom,” Emma glanced around the room before continuing. “I think they must have their reasons.”

“And what of it?”

“If you just punish them all without question, without hearing what those reasons are, that’s the act of a mere beast.” Emma’s eyes met his and her lips curved up in a slight, knowing smile. “Prince Chevalier, I know you are not a beast. So please, try to have an open mind tonight. I propose that you talk with them first, and try to meet them halfway.”

He did not reply, only observed her. This steel soul she possessed was on full display now, called into action by this seemingly rash action of his. He wondered if she suspected his full purpose here. 

The Belle held his gaze, unflinching. “If you still insist on cutting down your own people, Prince Chevalier, then I should be the first one to die, as someone who is now openly in defiance.”

Flandre gasped from behind her. “What? Lady Emma!”

The room erupted with gasps and whispers. Shock ran through the faces of the anti-war gathering that an outsider to their cause would place herself between them and the prince. 

“However,” Emma tilted her head, “what I’m offering is a proposal, not treason. If you’re willing to listen to your people, please put away your sword.”

The prince laughed. She really was a remarkable woman. How impossible that she loved him, and saw in him a man worthy of her. “Very well. I’ll at least listen to their explanation.” He sheathed his sword and sat again, waiting expectantly.

Lord Flandre gave a jerk of surprise. He was not the only one. 

Emma stepped to the side, out of the way now that her work was done.

“Well?” Chevalier raised a brow. 

“Thank you Lady Emma.” Flandre gave her a small bow and then turned back to Chevalier. “In order to avoid war, we want Rhodolite to make a bloodless surrender.”

Chevalier’s lips thinned as he pressed them tight before replying. “You would have us surrender to an enemy nation without going to war?”

“Yes. I’m sure you know this, Prince Chevalier, but I’ve lost family to war.” Flandre’s gaze wavered with grief. “I’ll do whatever it takes to avoid going through that again.” He gestured to others in the crowd. “Everyone here bears those kinds of scars.”

Emma looked at him in clear surprise and horror, sympathy evident in her posture. She wanted to ease his pain, but not at the cost of surrender to Obsidian. 

“I understand your motivation, but I have a feeling we won’t be able to come to an understanding.” The prince’s gaze rested coldly on his former knight, a coward willing to sell his neighbors into slavery to spare himself some pain.

Lord Flandre nodded after a beat. “It seems so. After all, you’re a heartless beast, Prince Chevalier.”

“I believe most of you are the same when it comes to not having a heart.” Chevalier relaxed into the seat, letting his gaze drift over the gathering. 

“What do you mean by that,” Flandre demanded.

Chevalier sighed. “You’ve already joined forces with Obsidian, haven’t you?”

The baron took a step back. ��H-how did you-”

“When the fort was occupied, the Obsidianite army closed in on our border. Fortunately, the enemy forces quickly withdrew when we showed more force than expected but if we’d taken our time to negotiate with you, we would have lost the fort.”

Several in the crowd whispered to one another, a tide of unrest. 

Emma gasped audibly and stared in horror at Flandre.

“The enemy army was on standby, as though Obsidian knew from the beginning that the fort had been taken. There’s no way they could have known unless they were conspiring with the anti-war faction.”

Flandre looked down and did not reply.

Prince Chevalier continued. “Your faction made a proposal to Obsidian several months ago, didn’t it?” He tapped his fingers against the arm of the chair, a martial beat. “If we help you take control of Rhodolite, you’ll give those who cooperated preferential treatment. You do know how nations who have surrendered to Obsidian are treated, don’t you?”

Again no one replied, and their silence was damning.

“Their people are tyrannized and used as slaves. That is the fate of an invaded country. The choice all of you have made nearly cost our people their peaceful, ordinary lives.” The prince’s icy rage flowed through the small space.

“We don’t care what happens to the kingdom,” Flandre sputtered, finally finding his spine. “If we can just keep our loved ones safe then -”

Chevalier nodded, interrupting. “Oh? So it’s self-deception that has driven you to betray your country.” He was trying to keep a reign on his temper, but the urge to depart this man’s head from his body was strong. Fool. “I tire of listening to this.”

“I know it’s not ideal,” Flandre continued, trying to rationalize. “But even so, we don’t want to lose what’s important to us. You push for was but do you have any idea how much sorrow will come from the inevitable sacrifices?”

The prince did not answer him directly, but rather focused on the fearful faces in the crowd. “I have one question for all of you. I’m sure there are many kinds of people you call your loved ones. Family, friends, lovers. Would it make them happy to see Rhodolite invaded and overrun? To see their neighbors and friends enslaved and abused?” 

He could see his words impact them as they exchanged glances, another rush of whispers filling the space.

“If you think you can enjoy true happiness in the midst of that hell then you are the ones that do not understand the sorrow that will result from that sacrifice.” Chevalier watched the realization settle in. Still no one replied. Even Flandre ceased his pathetic attempts at justification.

Prince Chevalier stood. “If you give up this treasonous plan and follow me, I swear this to you. I will settle things with Obsidian and bring true peace to Rhodolite without fail. I will protect our kingdom so that your loved ones can find happiness.”

Lord Flandre sensed he was losing control of the faction. He turned, flailing. “D-don’t try to sweet talk us! You speak of an ideal you can’t achieve. All you’re doing is ensuring there will be even more victims!”

“It is not an ideal. It’s a future that will happen.” Chev’s reply was so certain that even Flandre looked shaken.”That said, yes. Sacrifice is an unavoidable aspect of war. I can’t guarantee the life of every single person. However, I believe not a single life will be lost in vain for our county. I won’t allow it to be.” 

His implacable gaze swept once more over the room. “If we fight, we will win without fail. Choosing this path will allow all of you to face your loved ones without shame.” Prince Chevalier waited as the anti-war faction considered his words. And then, one by one, they came and knelt before him. There was only one that refused to bend the knee.

“I don’t believe you,” Flandre spat. He glared at Chevalier, so weighed down by his hate and pain that he was insensible to reason. Then he drew his sword. 

Emma leapt forward with a shout. “Prince Chevalier!” She need not have moved. 

As Flandre charged, Chevalier sidestepped the attack. He lashed out with a well-placed kick and sent the knight’s sword clanging to the ground. Flandre could only gasp for breath. “You’re as foolish as ever,” the prince sighed. “I’ll pretend that this disrespect never happened.”

Lord Flandre straightened, his eyes still brimming with hate and unspent anger. 

Chevalier ignored him. He beckoned Emma to follow, and strode to the exit. No good would come from staying longer.

“It doesn’t matter what you say,” Flandre shouted after them. “I’ll never bend the knee to you! Never again!”

The prince didn’t even waste a glance on him. 

Emma, however, looked back and let out a small gasp. She didn’t say anything until they were back in the carriage. Then she asked, “Was that Leon just now?”

“Yes. It wasn’t your imagination. I summoned him.” He watched the street pass slowly out the window, chin in hand. Seeing the peaceful street was a good reminder why he did what he did. This place could only be what it was thanks to the sacrifice of its defenders. 

“What? But why?” 

Chevalier glanced at her. “It’s none of your concern.” She did not need to know the details of his navigating royal conflict. This was a burden Emma did not need to carry, and she would if he explained.

The Belle said nothing for a few breaths, thinking about their tense evening. Then, “Prince Chevalier, why did you bring me to the anti-war faction’s meeting?”

He smiled. Emma was smarter than she gave herself credit for. Many of his courtiers would never have questioned why them, why there. But she knew he did nothing without cause. “This trip was not done in my official capacity as prince. It was personal. I simply wanted to spend time with you, as always.”

Her brow crinkled in puzzlement. “What?”

“You should be glad. You don’t have much time left at the palace, and I’m going out of my way to spend my days with you.”

Her gaze turned inward again as she considered his words. Emma rewarded him with a wide, joyful smile as understanding settled in. “Thank you. It means a lot to me.”

Chevalier chuckled. “If you have time to thank me, why not show me a scrap of this love, hm?”

“I . . .”

“You don’t know how, do you?” His smile grew. She was so ridiculously innocent. He almost felt guilty, teasing her. Almost, but not quite. 

Emma stammered. “I-I can’t show you something that you can’t see . . .”

“Mmm. Then are you going to give up?” He raised a brow. 

“No! Of course not! Absolutely not!” 

The outrage in her voice was adorable. Chevalier was set to tease her further, but the carriage hit a bump and jarred her from her seat. She fell right into his lap. Perfect.

“Ah! I’m sor-” Emma began to apologize but the words died on her lips as he wrapped his arms around her. 

He could feel the wild beat of her heart, the tremor of her breath. 

“Since you’re not giving up, and have leapt straight into my lap, tell me. What is it you plan to do on this long, dull trip back to the palace?” 

“Th-that was an accident!” Her cheeks went hot, and her pulse raced even faster. 

“For an accident -” Chevalier ran a fingertip along the edge of her lips, enjoying the tension desire built in him, and the answering need he could feel in the Belle.

Emma gave a shiver of pleasure at the touch. She had no words for him, only a wanton look.

“You seem to be awfully feverish.” He couldn’t help but smirk.

“Look. If the person you longed for was doing that to you -”

“Pfft. I’ve hardly done anything.” He settled her more firmly in his lap. “For someone who says she’s going to prove the value of love, you don’t seem familiar with it yourself.” He stroked her cheek with a calloused thumb. “You’re going to have a tough time, I think.”

“Ah - I - I -”

His fingertip traced along her jaw and back to her petal-soft lips. Parting them, finding the tip of her delicate pink tongue. He could feel the yearning, the need, coming from her. She was warm to the touch, hot against his lap. 

Emma pulled away, studying his face. “Why are you teasing me like this?”

“I’m simply playing around with a silly woman. After all, I have some free time here in the carriage.” He leered. “Won’t you let me enjoy myself a little?”

Genuine outrage flashed in her expression before the realization hit. “You - ugh. Please don’t start talking like Clavis.” 

Chevalier chuckled. “Don’t compare me to him.” He reached for her again, nudging the tip of her tongue as she opened her mouth to say something else. Her reaction was enchanting. She was so innocent. Not in all ways, but at least in the pleasures men and women took together. He knew she’d never been touched, teased, the way he wanted to. 

“Stop! Stop doing this to me!” She balled her fists and tried to turn away, but Chev caught her chin.

He wanted her to see that this was more than simply taunting her. Would she see what lay in his gaze? Could she, even now, read his heart? “You’ve read so many romance novels, yet you still know nothing of romantic entanglements.”

Emma did not deny it.

“You’ve never been this close to a man before.”

“Th-that has nothing to do with it!” The Belle pouted. “How can I get used to it when I long for you with my whole heart?” She took a shaky breath, trying to compose herself. “That’s why I feel so - so awkward right now.” 

She tried to remove herself from his lap, but Chevalier did not want to let go. “Feel as awkward as you like.”

“I don’t understand.” Her voice was high and small and nervous. 

He considered letting her go then. If she truly was afraid to be intimate, he would not force it. Never that. But her signals were mixed and he wanted to push her a little, to get her to admit what she wanted. What she would like to do. 

“I don’t mind the look on your face when you’re feeling this way.” Chevalier let go of her chin and let his fingers trail down her bare throat to her shoulder. She leaned into his touch with a slight gasp. 

He leaned close, pressed his lips to hers. Gentle as a kitten. Then he nibbled her lower lip, not a full kiss, just a taste. Chev pulled back, gauging her reaction.

Another tremor of pleasure, an audible sigh of pleasure. Her eyes were wide and hot. “What did you -”

“If you’re not a child, you should know.” He grinned.

“Of course I’m not a ch-”

Chevalier quieted her protest with another kiss. He’d meant to only taste again, but found himself indulging in the satin heat of her mouth. He felt greedy for her, as if he could never be satisfied. His tongue slipped the barrier, careening thirstily between her parted lips, teasing and tasting. 

Emma gave a little moan, and it nearly undid him. She gripped his shoulders, pulling herself closer, erasing the little distance between them until only the friction of their clothes divided the two. 

He forced himself to let go. To set her back on the seat opposite him. This was not the time, nor the place for these flames to catch. 

She looked as if she might protest, or question. But she was quiet, only watching him, and thinking. 

Chevalier knew what passed through her mind. Wondering what she was to him, what he felt. Fretting the undeniable cruelty of his tenderness.

“Hurry up and prove the worth of love,” he told her, and did not say because it will kill me to give you up.

[emilyssky]

War Of Hearts // JJ Maybank

PAIRING: JJ Maybank! x fem!reader

WORD COUNT: 13.7k

GENRE(S): smut, angst, fluff, fuck buddies to lovers

WARNINGS: smut [ praise, degradation, fingering, dirty talk, oral sex, choking, slapping, spanking] , mentions of violence, mentions of blood, swearing, mentions of alcohol, smoking. Jealous and protective JJ !

Author's note:Wrote this last night after finishing season 3, hope you’ll like it :)

SUMMARY: 

You and JJ have been messing around for a few months now until you try to cut it off because of your growing feelings for him that you think are one sided. A series of unfortunate events bring you face to face with unexpected fear and your relationship with JJ when you get caught up in their treasure hunt. 

I've always loved summer. Something about the warm weather, the sun, the ocean, and the salt on my skin made me feel alive. For the most part, I loved my life in ΟΒΧ. Some would say that I was born blessed, that I got both sides of the coin with my mom being a pogue and my dad being a kook but it feels mostly like a curse to me. My whole life I've never been fully accepted by either side. I wasn't t rich and snobby enough for the Kooks and never wild and spontaneous enough for the Pogues. It's not like I was on bad terms with anyone, everyone was friendly enough but ever since I could remember I felt left out, never having real friends. And if I'm being honest, it wasn't the kooks that I was jealous of, something about the pogue life pull me in. It seemed exciting and freeing in a way. When my mom married my dad and had me she knew that she wanted me to grow up knowing both sides. She wanted to offer me the chance to be the one to choose where I belong. She's big on following your heart and dreams and always told me growing up that I'll find my way and that if I follow my gut, the choice is gonna be pretty easy. We lived in Figure 8 but my mom opened a cafe on the south side, wanting to keep in touch with that side of her life. My life is a series of the same things over and over again. I like spending time alone, if I'm not at school or working my shift at the cafe, I'll probably be by the beach, reading or surfing. Sometimes I will go on boat rides with my dad or steal the keys and go by myself. It's not often that I will hang out with the Kooks, in fact, Sarah Cameron is probably the only person that I would voluntarily hang out with and actually enjoy it. And when it comes to the Pogues, everyone knows that it's just Kie and her boys. I'm friendly with all of them, occasionally have chat with or enjoy the waves together but that's about it.

Today is a day exactly like any other; I finished school and came straight to the cafe. It was not too crowded, with only a few regular customers enjoying their usual cup of coffee. I was behind the counter, cleaning the coffee machines, making sure everything was full and ready until I heard them. It's the group of kids that you hear before you see. John B enters first, pushing his long brown hair back as he laughs at something Pope is saying. I like John B, we share a lot in common and have nice conversations from time to time. He's a really fun and social person but this year was a rough one for him. His dad went missing almost a year ago, many people consider him dead by now but John B will not accept it, he still thinks he's alive, somewhere lost at sea. My mom and his dad were close back in the day before she met my dad and moved to figure 8. We used to play together when we were young up until he met his current best friends. My dad offered him a few jobs involving our boat and at the cafe, after Big John disappeared so I've been seeing him around more lately. Pope and Kiara follow right behind him. Me and Kie used to be close, but now our relationship has changed into a few talks here and there, I still consider her one of my closest friends though. Pope is fun. He's one of the few people that talks to me normally and always makes me feel comfortable at social events or parties. And lastly, my favourite pogue follows. JJ Maybank. Me and JJ have an interesting relationship. Teasing, flirting, bickering, that's his speciality with every girl in the Outer Banks, kook or pogue but sometimes I like to think that he actually enjoys my company. He was always the one I was looking forward to see but today he's the one I'm trying to avoid and have been trying for the past 2 weeks. His blue eyes find mine the minute he walks through the door, and a smirk spreads across his face.

"Hey, Y/n" John B greets me, reaching the counter.

"I'm not serving you free coffee." I immediately shake my head, knowing exactly what they want.

"Oh, come on." He frowns his thick brows, fake pouting.

I let a small chuckle at his attempt. "How many times do you think it will take for my mum to notice?"

"One more?" He offers, lifting his shoulders.

I scoff, shaking my head again.

"Come on, your mum loves me anyway." He presses.

"Yeah, but my dad not so much."

JJ places his elbows on the counter, right next to John B, and I immediately look down, continuing cleaning the coffee machine like I was doing before they came in.

"What if I'm the one asking?" He says, leaning in with that playful smile of his that I know all too well.

"Then it's defiantly a no." I fake a tight smile.

"Why so grumpy today princess?" He places a hand over his heart.

I roll my eyes and turn back to John B. He brings his palms together, begging me silently.

I sigh. "This is the last time." I point my finger at both of them.

"Yes!" They high-five each other.

"I'll bring it over." I wave them off.

I lift my eyes to his only for a second, catching the wink he sends my way as he follows John B to their usual table where Kie and Pope are seated.

I quickly fix up 4 iced coffees and walk over to them.

"Here you go."

"You're the best." John B touches my side lightly.

"You're coming next Saturday right?" Kie asks reaching for her coffee.

"What's next Saturday?" I question placing the last coffee on the table.

"We're throwing a party on the beach. It's gonna be fun." Pope explains.

"You're coming." JJ states without looking my way.

"I'll see." I nod at Kie with a small smile before leaving them to it. I walk back to the safety of my counter feeling his eyes burning on my back. The parties here at obx were always good. It's the one time that Kooks and Pogues can coexist in one place without jumping on each other's throats. Well, sometimes at least. It's fun nevertheless, all of us drinking and dancing by the beach forgetting our responsibilities and problems for a little while. I stay behind the counter, doing any task possible to distract myself but anytime I let my gaze fall his way, he's already looking.

"Thanks for the coffee Y/n." John B waves at me as they leave about an hour later.

"See you at the party cupcake." He brings two fingers to his forehead.

"Maybe." I shrug, walking to their table to clean up.

"You know I'll be miserable without you." He yells already out the door.

.  .  .  .

I don't usually work on Fridays, so after school, you'll probably find me at the beach if I'm not locked in my room. I enjoy my alone time. Riding the waves, sitting under the sun with a good book, or drawing in my sketchbook. Today my mind felt a little heavier, so I took my time, and before I knew it the sun began setting. I quickly throw my bag over my shoulder and begin to make my way back, realising that it's almost dinner time. I silently curse at myself for not riding my bike to the beach cause the walk back to Figure 8 seems dreadful. My ears perk up catching the sound of a motorcycle approaching with speed and I close my eyes hoping that it's not him but when I hear the motorcycle slowing down I know that my hope is not coming true. He stops beside me and I stop walking, turning to look at him. His hair is pushed back by the wind, he's wearing a simple white t-shirt with grey cargo pants, and his face is as pretty as always. My eyes narrow a little as I spot a bruise over his right cheekbone and it doesn't take long before I spot all the different marks and scars across his face.

He still forces a smug smile on his lips, ignoring my staring. "Having an afternoon surfing session princess?"

"What happened?" My eyes can't stop studying his face.

"Oh, you know the Kooks had it coming." He shrugs, masking his face perfectly like he always does but I know better.

"JJ." I trail off, my stomach tightening knowing exactly where he got these injuries from.

His jaw tightens. "It's nothing' Y/n. Same old, same old." I shake my head, in disgust. I can't even stand the thought that his dad walks around the OBX freely. He's such a piece of shit. "Get on the bike." He nods behind him.

"It's fine, I'll walk." I tilt my chin.

He scoffs with a smirk. "When will you stop with this whole act you’re putting on?" He waves his hand around.

I change the weight from my right to my left leg, crossing my arms. "I don't know what you're talking about." I keep my face expressionless, ignoring the way his beaten face cause my heart to tighten.

His eyebrows come together and his gaze shifts, dropping the playful act. "You're ignoring me." He states.

I'm trying.

I avoided his eyes cause I know that the more I look at them the weaker I get. It happens every time, I say that I'm gonna stand my ground and then I find myself beside him regardless.

"Look," He clears his throat, eyes moving everywhere. A weird expression takes over his features and I immediately know that he feels uncomfortable. "I don't care why you're pushing me away but can you stop ignoring me for a few hours?" He struggles to speak the words and that makes me a little warm inside. I glance at his bruised face once more, remembering all the times he came to me after his fights with his father. All the long talks we would have in order to get his mind off of it or the times I would sneak him through my window to treat his injuries.

I sigh and silently climb behind him, wrapping my arms around his waist. I feel him chuckle. "Just so you know, we're just talking."

"Sure." I can't see his face but I bet he's grinning.

He took his time, driving aimlessly around the streets of OBX. I don't mind though, I know him enough to know that it helps him clear his head, so I stay silent resting my head against his back and enjoying the ride. The sun has set and the night breeze tingles my skin in the best way. I notice that he takes the familiar route to my house.

"Are your parents home?" He yells, looking behind his shoulder.

"Yeah, I think."

"We'll have to be quiet then." He clicks his tongue.

"Like that has stopped you before." I smile against his shoulder.

"True." He glances at me again, the corners of his mouth lifting.

He parks his bike a block down from my house and he walks quietly around the back while I go from the front door.

"Hey, honey." My mom yells from the kitchen at the sound of the door opening.

"Hey, mom." I enter the kitchen, sneaking my arms around her waist while she chops some cucumbers, preparing a salad for dinner.

"Dinner will be ready soon." She smiles.

"Oh, I'm not hungry, I already ate." I brush her off, walking to the fridge.

"It smells amazing dear." My dad enters the kitchen, dropping his keys on the kitchen table.

My mom flashes a smile at my dad before turning back to me. "When did you eat?"

"I hung out with Kie by the beach and we had some sandwiches."  I quickly make up an excuse, grabbing a water bottle and closing the fridge.

"Just Kiara?" My dad lifts an eyebrow.

"Yes dad," I sigh.

"Honey." My mom scolds him.

"What?" He lifts his shoulders. "I'm sorry that I don't want my daughter hanging around boys that smoke weed, get drunk, and steal shit on the daily."

"Mark." She glares at him.

"They're not stealing anything, dad." I narrow my eyes, sick of him attacking them all the time. "They're not like that, you don't know them."

"Well, some of them are." He continues and I know exactly who he's referring to.

"You're wrong" I shake my head, lifting my hands. " and you're not gonna tell me who I can and can't hang out with." I walk past him shooting him a glare and head up the stairs.

"Y/n." I hear my mom yell but I ignore her and hurry into my room, slamming the door shut and locking it.

JJ's shoulder is rest against the open window, arms crossed in front of him with an unreadable expression. I drop my gaze to the floor, walking to sit on my bed and placing the bottle on my nightstand, feeling a little ashamed for the way my dad spoke about him and his friends.

"I'm sorry for my dad." I feel the need to say.

He moves to sit next to me, forcing a tight smile on his lips. "It's fine, we all know his opinion about the south side."

I move my head, trying to get a better look at him. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah princess you don't have to worry about me." The nickname tugs at my heart almost as much as his smile.

I reach to touch his hair, pushing them back and toying with the short hair at the nape of his neck. "You know you can talk to me."

His eyes twitch with suppressed emotion, his jaw set with eyebrows frowned. "I know."  I offer him a small smile, not moving my hand. "Can you, like, talk to me?" He asks. His eyes are screaming even though he manages to keep his expression under control. "I want you to take my mind off things, just talk to me about anything." His tone is almost begging.

I bring my knees to my chest, wrap my arms around them and turn to face him. 'What do you wanna know about this time? My weird obsession with serial killer documentaries, my views on feminism, or if I put the milk or cereal first?"

His face breaks into the first real smile today and I feel a little proud. He shakes his head lightly, his eyes not leaving mine before he pulls me by the neck, smashing his lips to mine. It's like all the pain he carries and all the words he desperately wants to say are spoken by the way he moves his lips hungrily against mine. The softness of his mouth contrasts his rough breathing as his hands hold my face, pulling me closer to him. His small groan that echoes through the room and the feeling of his tongue brushing over mine snaps me back to reality.

"Jay," I whimper, pushing at his chest lightly.

His lips leave mine but our foreheads stay together. "I'm sorry." He mumbles, inhaling short, sharp breaths.

My fingers trace his bruises and my stomach twists even at the thought of how his dad created them. I hate how he grew up having to hide all this pain and I hate how he's being treated. "I don't want you to go back to him tonight." I whisper and his eyes snap to mine. "Stay with me."

His face finally breaks, and the emotion in his eyes overtakes his whole expression.

"But we're just sleeping," I lean back, pointing my finger at him. "and you'll have to leave before my parents wake up."

His eyes water a bit but a grin paints his lips as he wraps his arms around me, pushing me back to the bed.

A giggle escapes me. Damn him.

. . . . . . . .

"I'm going with Topper." Sarah touches up her already perfect makeup.

"Ugh." I groan. "What do you even see in him?" I scrunch up my nose. Sarah is the only kook that I can stand to hang out with. And the only Cameron I actually like.

"He's nice." She rolls her eyes at me, holding up two dresses, one yellow and one blue. "Stop being a bitch to him. Which one?"

I tilt my head." The yellow one obviously."

"What are you wearing?" She questions while peeling off her clothes and changing into the short yellow dress.

"I don't know if I want to go." I lay back down on her king-size bed.

"Come on, you love parties. Is it that you don't wanna go or that you don't wanna see a certain someone?" She wiggles her brows at me.

"I'm just not in the mood." I shrug, looking away but she sees right through me.

"Yeah right." She chuckles. "Cut the shit and get dressed." She throws a black shirt on me.

. . . . . 

The beach is full of people, kooks, and pogues dancing, drinking, and having fun. Big barrels of beer everywhere, stands with bottles of alcohol and hundreds of red cups here and there. It's not even midnight and everyone is already wasted. Most of the girls are in their bikinis by now, dancing like there's no tomorrow on top of giant rocks. The minute we enter the party, I go straight for the beer, pouring myself a cup. My eyes silently search the crowd for any sight of his fluffy, blonde hair, or of any of his friends. I spot Kie and Pope taking shots with a few other people and John B just a few meters again, flirting with a blonde girl but he's nowhere to be found.

"Looking for someone?" Rafe says close to my ear, catching me off guard and making me flinch away. He smiles at my reaction.

"What are you doing here?" He's one of the people that rarely joins things like this. He and his friends really don't get along with the pogues, unlike me and Sarah. I try my best to limit my contact with Rafe, Topper, and the rest of their little group but somehow they find a way to be right in my face.

"Enjoying the free alcohol." He lifts the cup to his lips, hiding his smile. "What are you doing here?"

I take a sip of my beer. "I came with Sarah."

He nods, eyeing me up and down. "You look gorgeous as always."

I roll my eyes at his compliment. "Thanks."

"You know," He leans in closer. "you're always cold towards us but when it comes to these pogues you're a fucking angel. Why is that?"

I sigh out loud, not really in the mood to deal with his whining. "Cause I can. " I offer him a smile before walking away, blending in with the dancing crowd.

It didn't take more than 4 cups of alcohol, to find myself dancing between a few half-naked girls, that are probably as drunk as I am. My body has a mind of its own as I swing my hips to the beat of some '00 song. I lost sight of Sarah half an hour ago when she disappeared with Topper, and I joined Kie and Pope and took a few shots before throwing myself between the sweaty bodies, pretending that the fact that JJ is still nowhere to be found does not affect me at all. He's a known player around the Obx, sleeping around, flirting his way through, breaking hearts left and right and I've had my fair share of it. But the game he's playing is a dangerous one, and I'm trying to protect myself the best way I can.

"Shots!." John B yells, throwing his hands in the air, holding a bottle of tequila in his right one. A few girls extend their cups for him to pour them some but I've probably dropped mine while dancing cause it's not between my fingers anymore.

I tap on his shoulder to get his attention. "Hit me!" I yell over the music and open my mouth wide.

"Let's go!" He yells pouring a shot straight into my mouth. The alcohol drips down my chin as I try to swallow, my eyes watering at the process.

"Another one." John B says and taps my chin waiting for me to open my mouth again and I do. All eyes are suddenly on us, everyone is cheering and yelling as I shallow my fourth shot in a row and I feel two hands grabbing me by the legs and lifting me higher. I throw my hands in the air, laughing as the people around me scream louder. My mind is somewhere else, and I let the carefree feeling and numbness that comes with alcohol overtake me. Until I open my eyes. I sober up in a second when my eyes find his. His on top of a rock, smoking with a few other people. A girl leans in towards him, her hand wrapping around him as she laughs at something Pope said but he stays unbothered, his eyes still on me as he lifts his cup my way with a nod and a smile. I nod back not knowing what to do before turning back to the girls I was dancing with. I continue moving to the music but my mind isn't letting me shake him off. Suddenly, the alcohol feels heavy in my stomach and the sound of my heartbeat is louder than the music in my ears. My hand flies to my mouth as I run out of the dancing crowd and as far away as I can from the people before dropping to my knees and vomiting in a bag full of used cups. I feel two hands reaching for my hair as all the alcohol that I consumed leaves my system.

"It's okay, I got you." I hear Rafe's voice over the music that has faded a bit due to the distance. "Here" He hands me a napkin.

"Thank you." I cough out, taking the napkin, and bringing it to my lips.

"Hold on, let me bring you some water."

I wipe my mouth and drop the napkin inside the trash bag.

"Here." He pushes a cup of water into my hand, tugging my hair behind my ear as I take a few sips of the water slowly. "Stop drinking so much Y/n, Jesus."

"I'm okay." I rise to my feet.

"Come on," His hand wraps around my waist. "let's take you home yeah?" He starts pulling me towards the other side of the beach.

"I don't think she's going anywhere with you Cameron." My head snaps to the right, hearing Rafe scoff at the sight of JJ. JJ's eyes twitch when they fall on me, his eyebrows coming together.

"I don't think you have a saying in what she does pogue." Rafe's hands drop from my body as he takes a step forward.

JJ's expression shifts in a second when he moves his eyes from me to Rafe, a smile spreading over his lips. "Oh I think I do," He takes a step forward as well. "And she's not going anywhere with you." His voice drops a little.

"I suggest you take a step back." Rafe doesn't back down.

JJ's eyes darken. "Or what?" He takes yet another step. "Last time I checked you're still nipping at her heels and following her around in case she pities you and gives you a chance."

Rafe lets out a growl, pushing JJ backwards but he just laughs mockingly, knowing he hit a nerve but that angers Rafe more.

I step between them before Rafe can make another move. "Stop acting like five-year-olds." I look at both of them, but they ignore me, not taking their eyes off each other.

"Hey," My hand touches Rafe's chest, forcing his eyes away from JJ. "go back to the party, I'll let you know when I'm ready to leave." I lie, knowing that it's the only way to make him walk away without creating a scene cause trying to make JJ drop this would be even harder. Rafe's eyes narrow, flickering back to JJ. I reach for his hand, softening my tone. "I'll find you." I nod, trying to reassure him.

He nods back, letting out a sigh. "Turn him down kindly babe." He says, knocking JJ's shoulder with his as he walks out.

JJ's eyes are fixated on me. "You'll let him know when you're ready to leave huh?" He says when Rafe's far enough.

"Maybe." I play along, shrugging my shoulders.

His tongue comes out to wet his pink lips, hands resting on his hips as he takes a step towards me. "Is that so?"

"Last time I checked I can go home with anyone I want." I cross my arms, trying not to let my gaze drop to his lips.

"We both know that I would never let that happen." His voice drops, his tone raspier.

"Why JJ?" I tilt my head upwards due to our height difference but that doesn't stop me from taking a step forward as well, only leaving a few inches between us.

His fingers wrap around my neck, catching me off guard. "Come on now princess, let's not play dumb." He smirks.

"I'm not playing dumb. Actually, I'm done playing." I wrap my hand around his wrist, pulling it away from my neck.

Something flashes over his eyes but doesn't stay for long. "Trust me, I'm done playing as well." He mumbles before cupping my jaw with both hands, not letting me escape and in a split second his lips crush into mine. My breath hitches as the taste of weed and beer coats my tongue but I'd be lying if I say that I haven't missed it. It's been a week since the last time I kissed him and since then I've tried to keep myself at a distance, knowing that the more I let this go on the more invested I become, and knowing JJ, it will not end up well If I do. He lets out a low moan as his tongue enters my mouth, colliding passionately with mine. My fingers grab his shirt for support, my body suddenly overwhelmed by the familiar knot in my stomach that begins to build.

"Fuck, I missed you baby." He breaks the kiss, allowing me to take a much-needed breath. I dare to lift my eyes, looking up at him through my eyelashes, only to find him looking hungrily down at me. His hands travel from my jaw, down to the curve of my waist and he pulls my body to his. "You kept me waiting for so long." He breathes out, resting his forehead on mine.

"JJ" My tone begging and warning at the same time. "We shouldn't be doing this."

"You can not name a single good reason for us not to." He says, running his thumb over my bottom lip.

"I can name a few."

His hands drop to my ass and in a swift move, he lifts me off the ground forcing my legs to wrap around his waist. "I'd rather hear other sound out of that pretty mouth of yours." He starts walking away from the party, keeping his hands secure under my thighs and crashing his lips to mine once again. He makes sure we're far enough from the crowd and behind plenty of trees and bushes before stopping and dropping me carefully on the sand. He breaks the kiss, straightening his body and reaching to peel off his white long-sleeve shirt.

"You look fucking amazing tonight." He doesn't break eye contact. "I was hard from the minute I saw you walk in." He leans back down, his eyes roaming over my body as if he hasn't seen it in ages.

My hands reach for the ends of my shirt, pulling it over my head. "Fuck." He dives hungrily into my naked chest. Sucking, nibbling, and biting. He squeezes my boobs between his palms, rolling his tongue over my nipples, making them harder by the second. His wet lips slide down my stomach teasingly as his fingers toy with the button of my shorts before finally unbuttoning it. He drags it down my legs, leaving me in my black panties, exposed and ready for him. Somehow I always find myself in this position as much as I'm trying to avoid it but the sight of him desperately fumbling with his belt as his eyes devour my body is one that I'll never get enough of.

I lift myself onto my knees, lowering my body so I'm facing his crotch. I pull down his shorts along with his boxers freeing his already hard member. A small moan escapes my lips at the sight, my mouth watering. His thumb and index finger reach for my jaw, tilting my head to meet his dark gaze.

"I want your eyes on me as you choke on my dick, okay princess?" He says and I'm aflame from head to toe. He takes his dick in his other hand, pumping it a few times before dragging the tip across my lips, coating them with his leaking precum. I keep my eyes locked on his wild blue ones as I take him in my mouth.

"Fuck" He curses under his breath as I twirl my tongue around the tip. I replace his hand with mine, taking him deeper, the size of him weighing on my tongue. I relax my jaw, allowing almost his whole member to enter my mouth. His hands fist my hair while his hips begin to thrust forward, lightly fucking himself in my mouth.

"You're so fucking good at this baby." He praises me. "Look at you choking on it, that's it." I force myself to breathe through my nose while saliva starts dripping from my mouth down to my chin. He fastens his pace only for a few seconds before, pulling my head sharply back by my hair, his dick dropping from my mouth as I gasp for air.

He groans out loud. "I missed this."

His words sink in as much as I try not to let them. It's always 'I missed this' and never 'I missed you.'

He connects our lips again, tasting himself while he pushes me down on my back. His fingers run over my clothed pussy, and that's enough to make my back arch, silently begging him for more. My body responds to him in ways that I can't explain or control. Just a touch and he has me already panting. He pulls my underwear to the side opening my folds with his middle finger.

"Ugh." I gasp.

"Shit baby, you're already dripping." He whispers satisfied against my lips. His mouth falls to the curve of my neck, sucking on my skin as his fingers begin to rub circles over my clit making tiny moans escape me. Unexpectedly, he slides two fingers inside me, quickly building a fast pace.

"Oh, my god." I shut my eyes, pleasure creeping into my lower belly.

"You respond to me so well princess." He kisses me, capturing my bottom lip between his teeth. His fingers pump in and out of me, making my breath shorter as the pleasure builds.

"God Jay, I'm gonna-" The words die in my throat and the flicker of his thumb on my clit sends me unexpectedly over the edge. My orgasm rushes over me like a wave, my body going numb for a few seconds, gasps and moans leaving my lips.

"That's it baby, ride it out." His pace slows down a bit before pulling his fingers out. He leaves wet kisses along my jaw, making my eyes fly open.

"I want more. " My tone begging with no embarrassment.

A grin overtakes his lips, his eyes shining under the dim light of the moon. "I want you on your hands and knees. " He demands.

My body moves on its own, and before my mind can catch up I'm on all four, my ass on display in front of him. He runs his palms over the skin before slapping sharply my right ass-cheek.

I gasp, flinching forward. "That's for flirting with Rafe."

"I wasn't flirting with-" 

Another slap.

"And that's for ignoring me for a week." He growls. I stay silent as he pulls my underwear to the side again. He strokes my pussy with the head of his dick, dragging it up and down my slit, teasing me.

"JJ please," I whine desperately.

He leans down bringing his lips beside my ear. "Say you're sorry for ignoring me."

I swallow the last bit of pride that's left in me, understanding that my need for him is too big, and knowing that his ego is hurt, I do as he says. "I'm sorry for ignoring, I'm sorry."

"You want me?" He presses, his tone dripping with enjoyment.

"Yes, I want you so bad, please." I push my ass backwards.

He lets out a low chuckle and I hear him rip open a condom, seconds later his head presses against my entrance and slides in slowly. We both let out a groan at the feeling. God, I missed this too.

"Ready?" He asks breathlessly after a few seconds.

I nod my head, allowing him to move his hips. He grabs a full fist of my hair while his other hand stays on the curve of my ass before he pulls out and slams back in.

I immediately gasp when he begins to thrust inside me building a fast and steady rhythm.

"God, you're so fucking tight." He groans. The sound of skin on skin fills the air and my breaths begin to come out short as I arch my back. His dick feels too good inside me, almost heavenly. The way he moves, the sounds he makes, I've missed everything.

"Fuck it's so good." I brokenly moan. His balls begin to hit perfectly at my clit, pushing me closer and closer to my second orgasm. His grip on my hair tightens and pants of air mixed with low growls leave his mouth. I'm struggling to keep my body up as a fucks me harder than ever before and the fire in my belly grows.

"I'm not gonna last long." He mumbles in my ear but the pleasure between my legs is too much, my muscles burn and I squeeze my eyes shut as I let my second orgasm wash over me, euphoria spreading at every inch of my body. My legs begin to shake the sensation too intense as he fucks me through the last of it. His thrusts become sloppier, his nails digging into the flesh of my ass.

He falls forward and I feel his heartbeat on my back. "Fuck, Y/n." He lets an animistic growl in my ear, his body stilling completely as he empties himself inside the condom. Drops of sweat fall from the tips of his blonde hair on my shoulder, while both he and I catch out breaths. After almost a minute he plants a kiss on my back before pulling out slowly. The feeling of emptiness creeps in, alongside with the embarrassment and the realisation of what just happened. I hear him pulling the condom out and throwing it somewhere, while I stay almost frozen. Now that everything is done, I can't find the strength to face him. I lift myself to my feet, my legs still a little weak but I ignore it reaching for my shorts and putting them back on. I keep my back to him and my head low as reach for my top. The sound of his belt lets me know that he doing the same. I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn around. He holds up my shirt between his fingers.

"Thanks." My voice falters. I pull the shirt over my head and run my fingers through my tangled hair. I feel his eyes on me, burning at the side of my head. I build up all the courage that I can master and turn my gaze to him and it takes one second to regrade it. He stands there, fully dressed, his blonde hair a mess, looking at me with those eyes. Those big, blue eyes that I've grown so used to over the last few months, staring at me with so much softness, analysing. Suddenly, my body is fighting a wave of emotions.

"What?" I ask, my tone almost a whisper.

He clenches and unclenches his jaw, his eyes saying so much but his mouth, not a single word. "I'm taking you home." He states before turning around and walking away back towards the party. I don't fight him, I simply follow him to his bike. Both of us know exactly what's going on, I know he understands what I'm trying to do but he doesn't seem to understand why and I don't bother explaining. I know him. I know how he is, I know how he reacts. I know who he is and who I am. I keep my hands tight around his waist as we make the short way towards my house on his bike. I try to enjoy these last few moments with him. It's always stolen moments like these. On his bike, on the beach, hidden in John B's van, silently in my room, or in my dad's boat. And that's not enough.

.

.

.

.

It's been days since I last saw him. He left me home, with a small nod and a goodnight and I haven't seen him since then. Truth be told, I haven't worked at the cafe at all, claiming to my mother that I have a lot of homework, which is partly true. I've been distracting myself as much as I can with school and studying. Tonight is no different, I'm sitting comfortably in my bed working on my homework for Monday.

"That's it, I'm done with this boy." My dad's yelling interrupts me, catching my attention.

"Honey please, he's going through a rough time." My mom tries to calm him down. "Let me talk to Y/n, maybe she knows something."

"She better not, she shouldn't be hanging out with these boys in the first place." I hear a door slam. I have heard my dad this angry in a long time, but usually, it is always about the same things; either me sneaking around and breaking his house rules or something to do with the pogues. My dad loves my mom and accepts her for who she is but he doesn't get why she still wants to have ties with the south side and most importantly why she wants me to grow up knowing both sides. But what are they fighting about now? What boy?

A soft knock on my door snaps me out of my thoughts. "Come in."

My mom opens the door slowly., entering my room. "Hey, honey." She closes the door behind her.

"What's going on mom? Why is dad yelling?" I ask her right away.

She lets out a sigh and approaches my bed, taking a seat. "Y/n have you talked to John B at all?"

My eyebrows twitch. "Um, no not really, why?"

She doesn't appear mad unlike the way my dad sounded a few seconds ago, instead, her face falls at my answer.  "Are you sure? Have you talked to Kiara or the other boys?"

I shake my head, her questions confusing me more. "No mum, why?"

"Apparently the keys to the boat are nowhere to be found." She finally explains.

"And you think Jonh B stole them?" I lift both my brows. "Mom, come on, I mean I would expect something like this from dad but not from you."

"No, no" My mom shakes her head, reaching for my hand. "No, honey. You know what I think of him, I care about John B, I've known him since he was a child. I wouldn't mind if he took the key and had fun on the boat with his friends for a few days but you know how your dad gets."

"It's always the pogues' fault." I roll my eyes.

"Please talk to him, " She nods. "I would hate for him to lose his job because of something like this. Just ask if he took them."

I nod back. "Fine, I will."

"Thanks, honey." She places a kiss on my forehead. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight mom." I hold my smile until she closes the door. Why would John B take the keys to our boat? He knows that if he simply asked me or my mom we would let him borrow it. This doesn't seem like something he would do but then again, the only people that have access to the boat are me, my parents, and him. I reach for my phone and call John B but the phone rings and rings with no answer. I try a few more times, before trying Kie and Pope, but no luck. I stare at his number for a few seconds before pressing call, mentally preparing myself to listen to his voice after so long but just like the rest of them, he doesn't pick up.

"What the hell? Why is none answering?" .

.

.

I decided to go by the chateau after my morning shift at the cafe. I prepare myself and go over the things I'll say if by chance JJ's there as well but I stop in my tracks when an unfamiliar van comes into view packed outside the house. Sounds of glass breaking, things being thrown around, and doors slamming can be heard as I move closer to the house. I push myself behind a big tree, narrowing my eyes, trying to peer through the open window, when 2 men come into view. Big, muscular, and scary looking. Fear begins to spread through my body.

"You better not be in there boy!" One of them yells as they both throw themselves to a closed door, trying to open it. They kick and punch at the old wooden door as it slowly begins to crumble. Suddenly I see the window on the side of the house opening, and a body quickly forcing its way out of it. He turns around and I immediately recognise Pope's face. Kie follows shortly after with John B right behind them. They begin to run my way as I stay frozen, completely shocked by what's happening right in front of me. Pope's eyes lock with mine, his face taken over by a scared expression probably mirroring mine.

"Guys." He yells in a whispering tone and everyone's heads snap my way. JJ is the last to jump out the window, running behind his friends.

His eyes fall on me, eyes widening. "No, no, no." He mumbles as they all reach me. "No, not now." He grabs my arm just when a gunshot echoes through the area. I gasp, my body numbing with fear as JJ drags me along with them, my eyes not leaving the house as the 2 guys open the door and burst into the room that they guys came out of. JJ pulls me inside the small chicken coop closing the small door behind us. I bring my hand to cover my mouth, my fingers trembling. I look around taking in all of their scared faces. "W-what-" I try to say.

"What are you doing here?" JJ angrily whispers, pulling me by the arm to face him but I don't react.

"JJ now is not the time." Kie snaps at him, fear written all over her face as well. The chickens begin to make noise, yet nothing reaches me. "Do something. " She nods towards the chickens.

"Like what? Pet them?" Pope jokes while trying not to panic.

JJ reaches over taking the chicken in his hands and squeezing his little neck until it eventually stops breathing. I try to take deep breaths but my eyes stay locked on the house as the men get inside the car and drive off. Kiara takes my hand in her, tears wetting her cheeks.

"I think it's clear." John B says. "Come on." He steps out of the coop, Pope and Kiara following him.

JJ moves in front of me, stepping out as well. He extends his hand for me to take. My trembling fingers wrap around it, allowing him to pull me out. 

"What are you here?" He repeats. His eyes look at me still panicked, moving around my face almost fanatically. His hands come up to my face, pushing hair away.

"I.." I try to form a sentence but my mouth is dry. "I was looking f-for John B."

"God." He runs his fingers through his hair, moving around.

"I thought we were going to die." Kie breathes out, holding her hand over her chest. Pope moves to her side and pulls her into a side hug.

"What just happened?" I say still trying to catch my own breath. "Who are they? What did they want?"

John B looks at his friends, and I know that he's silently asking them if he can tell me. He walks towards me. "Hey, I'm sorry you had to see that." He pulls me to his chest.

"Are you in trouble?" I look up at him. "you know that my mom will help you with anything. Just tell me."

"Y/n-"

"You don't have to know everything." JJ says, his hands crossed in front of him, his face suddenly cold.

I move my eyes to him, confused by his tone and sudden energy shift.

"JJ.." Kiara sends him a careful glare.

"Why were you looking for me?"

"Um," I mumble, my eyes still fixated on JJ. "did you take the keys to our boat?"

He closes his eyes, cursing under his breath. "Yeah," he looks at his friends again, all of them looking at me apologetically. What the hell is going on? I'm used to not being involved in pretty much anything when it comes to them, but this is not a joke.

I narrow my eyes at all of them, shaking my head. "Can anyone please explain to me what the fuck just happened?"

"Look Y/n-" Pope takes a step forward but JJ cuts him off, placing a hand on his chest.

"No, she doesn't need to know."

"What's wrong with you?" Anger overtakes my tone. He's acting like an asshole right now. "Do you realise what just happened JJ? Those guys had a gun."

"I know that Y/n." He clenches his jaw, walking back towards me. "but it doesn't involve you, so just go back to figure 8 cause last time I checked that's where you belong." He gets closer to my face and I feel my whole body stiffens at his cruel words. "Stop trying to be a pogue." 

I tighten the muscles on my face, not wanting to let the tears leave my eyes but the unexpected anger overtakes my body and my hand moves across his face, slapping him hard. His face freezes, staying to the right. He has never spoken to me like that. He has never acted this way towards me and I hate it.

"Fuck you dude." I spit, shaking my head. I turn to John B. "Give me the keys." I don't care why they took them and I don't wanna know what happened anymore, I just wanna go home.

"Y/n.." He gives an apologetic look.

"Give. me. the. keys." My tone is sharp as I open my palm in front of him.

He lets out a sigh before dropping them in my palm. I put them in my pocket, not saying a word to him, and turn around.

"Y/n, let me come with you." Kie offers.

"I'd rather not." I say getting inside my car and slamming the door shut. I pull out without waiting for any of them to try and stop me and drive off, letting the tears finally fall. Tears of fear, tears of anger, and tears of hurt. He was right; I desperately wanted to be one of them my whole life but that wasn't the reason why I asked. I don't give a shit what they were doing and how they ended up in a situation like that, but it was serious. It wasn't fun and games, those guys weren't joking around and I care about them. All of them. If they're in trouble I want to help them as much as I can. My mom would understand them and she would do anything to help cause she's a pogue. But I'm not. I'm not and they'll never see me as one. They'll never trust me enough. He'll never let me get close. I know how it is and I thought that I had accepted it but clearly I was wrong cause it hurts.

. . . .

It's been 2 days and yet I'm still on edge. I still look over my shoulder every 5 seconds, and I still flinch over any slightly loud noise. I've been zoning out constantly, my mind travelling back to that day and his words. It still hurts, the way he talked to me but it was the reality check that I needed. Maybe it's time to actually stop and move on.

I wipe the last of the tables getting ready to close the cafe. The sun is setting and I can't wait to go home and relax after a long day. I move to the counter, grabbing my stuff and making sure everything is closed and in order when I hear the 'ding' the door makes when it opens.

"I'm sorry we're closed-" I turn around coming face to face with the 2 men that broke into John B's house.

Their faces hold the same smug expression, satisfied with the clear shock that overtakes my whole body. "We're not here for coffee." One of them says, his voice raspy and low.

My feet move backwards until my back hits the front of the counter. "I-I can't help you then." I shutter.

"Oh but you can," He smirks. "you can deliver a message to John B for us."  I shake my head repeatedly, my chest heavy as I try to breathe. He grabs me by the arm, his fingertips digging painfully into my skin while the other finds my neck, choking me.

"And since words won't do it for them, maybe this will. "The other one says, nodding to his partner with a smirk. The guy releases me and before I have time to catch my breath, his hand slaps me across the face so hard that it sends me to the ground.

"Ugh." It takes me a few seconds for my sense to return, my head heavy with pain and my skin burning. He grabs me by the shirt, forcing me upwards only to bring his hand across my face again. I yell in pain, tears streaming down my face as the taste of blood fills my mouth. My eyes struggle to focus.

He stands straight, looking down at me. "P-Please stop." I beg but he stays unphased, kicking me right in the stomach. Pain spreads through my body, my knees coming to my chest as I cough violently. He kicks me again, and again, his boot finding my face at some point and I scream until there's no strength in me to make noise anymore. The tears won't stop and breathing gets harder by the second.

"Tell your friend that he better give us the compass or else he's next. "He pulls my head up by my hair causing me to whine in pain. He gives me one last evil smirk before slamming it back on the wooden floor and walking away without a second glance at my aching body, his partner following.

I sob violently at this point, trying to keep my head focused and my eyes open but they're getting heavier and heavier, the world starting to spin. I don't know how long I stayed on the floor in and out of consciousness but when I heard my name being yelled my eyes snapped open.

John B kneels by my side. "Oh my god Y/n, what happened?" He says, his voice full of panic. His hands' ghost over my body not knowing where to touch me as he scans the injuries.

I don't reply but a broken sob escapes me.

"It's okay, it's gonna be okay." He slides his hands carefully under my body, my face twitching with pain. He takes me in his arms and walks out of the cafe. "It's okay, you're safe, I got you." he murmurs against my head. He lays me down on the back seat of the twinkie before hopping in on the driver's seat. His hands move fast, his eyes wild, looking back at me every 2 seconds as he drives.

"What happened?" He whispers. "W-who did this?"

I keep my eyes close and try to control my breathing but the pain is too much. "T-those men" The words that leave my mouth are barely audible but he catches them.

His hands tighten around the wheel, before punching it. He looks back at me anger written all over his face, his eyes almost watering. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Y/n. It's all my fault."

"The compass.." I drag out, causing him to look back at me with wide eyes but everything fades again.

I feel his hands on me again. He takes me in his arms. "We're here." He whispers and I bury my face in his neck. I recognise his house immediately. He takes big steps almost running trying to hold me without causing me pain.

He reaches the house. "Guys!." he yells. "Help!"

"Oh my god, Y/n," Kie cries out rushing to us.

"What happened?" Pope tries to help John B carry me to the couch.

"Y/n." It's his voice that makes my eyes finally open and it's the look on his face when he sees me that hurts more that the pain in my body. A single sharp breath leaves his mouth before he's by my side as John B places me on the couch. I let out a small whine.

"What happened?" He whispers, dropping to his knees beside me. "What happened?!" He yells turning to John B who has his hands buried in his hair, pacing around the room. Kie appears back in the room with a first aid kit.

"Those men, the 2 men that broke in, jumped on her. " He answers.

"What?" Pope says. "Why would they do that to her? How do they even know her?"

"It's the boat, idiots." Kie angrily says passing some ice to JJ. "They saw us jumping inside it to escape them."

"Baby," JJ presses the ice to my cheek, with trembling hands. I can already feel different parts of my body brushing. His other hand comes to my head, brushing my hair back. "Baby, I'm sorry." He places his lips against my forehead. His lips tremble, and he shakes his head, eyes wide full of fear and anger. "You're gonna be okay, I'm here yeah? I'm not leaving you again." He whispers, his voice breaking.

Kie appears next to us. "Jay, let me take care of her." She touches his shoulder. "She needs help and rest."

JJ leaves one last kiss on the side of my face before getting up. "I'm gonna fucking kill them."I hear him growl before he and the boys move further into the house. Kie cleans up all my wounds and takes care of the cuts that I had on my face.

"Get some rest okay?" She smiles a sad smile at me.

"Thanks, Kie." I mumbled before drifting off.

. . . . . .

I shiver, the sudden cold air that hits my exposed skin forces my eyes open, waking me up from my slumber. The living room is dark, not a single person is here except me. I try to lift my body into a seating position, and a sharp but lighter pain spreads around my stomach and back causing me to whine.

I hear a groan from my left and I turn to find JJ's sleeping body laying on the floor. His closed eyes twitch before opening. It takes a few seconds for him to react but when he sees me awake his body shoots up, hands stretching towards my body.

"Y/n," He breathes. "hey."

I rub my eyes with the back of my hands. "What time is it?"

"Um," His hands fumble with his phone. "It's almost 3 am. You fell asleep"

"Hmm," I hum, lifting myself into a seating position. "My parents-"

"Kiara texted them from your phone that you're gonna stay at hers tonight." He says. "Take it easy." He touches my back softly. A sad expression overtakes his face when he sees me struggling to straighten my back.

"Y/n.." He shakes his head and I know exactly what he's going to say.

"It's okay, it's fine." I reassure him. JJ tends to hold a lot of guilt inside. He thinks that he's responsible for anything that happens. It seems like he holds the weight of the world on his shoulders when there's really no need.

"No, it's not." He shakes his hand repeatedly. "It's not. I can't stand seeing you hurt because of me. You did nothing wrong, it shouldn't have happened like this." His eyes drop to his hands that are resting on my thighs.

"It's not your fault." I place my hand on top of his.

"But it is. We stole your boat to escape, they saw that. And then I acted like a dick refusing to tell you anything in order to protect you and keep you out of it when in the end it's you who got hurt." His voice is filled with guilt and anger.

"Protect me from what?" I scoff. "What's going on Jay?"

His eyes soften at the nickname but he stays quiet.

"Why don't you trust me?" I mumble, mostly to myself.

"I do trust you." He defends.

"Just not enough right?" I smile a little.

He closes his eyes. "Y/n, you know it's not like that. You know me."

"Apparently I don't JJ." I raise my tone a little. "I mean I thought I did, I wanted to. I was patient and I was understanding. I listened to you and I was there. As much as you would let me at least." I go on, and all the words that I was holding inside come rushing out. "The JJ I know would not talk to me like that, the JJ I know would not disappear for days, the JJ I know would not keep secrets from me."

"Y/n-" He tries to interrupt me.

"No, I get it, I know my place. " I hold a hand up between us. "I know we're not together but I care JJ. " I admit looking at him dead in the eye. His face falls at my words, jaw tightening. "I liked it when you would climb through my window and we would talk for hours about all the things you guys had done that day and I liked it when I would sneak out after midnight and go on bike rides with you. I liked how we would surf together or how we would lay on my rooftop, looking at the stars talking about all the things we want in life. You were the one that was pushing me to join you in all kinds of things, you would always tell me that I was a pogue deep down." Tears threaten to spill but I try to contain them.

"You were the one that pushed me away," He point a finger towards me. "Since day one, since the first day we fucked, you never wanted me."

"JJ," I lift my hands to my hair, struggling to control my anger. "I was trying to protect myself!"

"For what?" He shoots back, his frustration building as well.

"From you!" His shoulders fall. "I wanted you, I've always wanted you but I know you." I sigh, studying his beautiful, blue eyes that are piercing mine. "I know better than to let myself fall and believe that this is more than it is." I say quietly.

He tilts his head, his eyes never leaving mine. "I tried to stay away from you because I couldn't stand to hold you and know that you aren't mine. Every time I would look at your face, I would see nothing but walls. We would have sex and then you would go back to being cold and wanting to be as far away from me as possible and I honestly get it, people like me don't deserve people like you."

I shake my head in disbelief. "How can you say that?"

"Cause it's true." He chuckles sadly. "Look at you and look at me." He motions between us.

"Stop." I close my eyes, unable to stand the way he views himself, I wish he could see how extraordinary he actually is.

"Y/n, I know." His gaze hardens. "But when John B walked through that door with you almost unconscious in his arms. Your body and face brushed and beaten," He twitches his face as if the image brushes through his mind and physically hurts him. "I lost it. My heart dropped. Nothing mattered but making sure that you were okay and holding you in my arms. The thought that something like that had happened to you," He shakes his head, reaching to take my jaw in his hands gently. "I can't fucking stand it. And I swear to you that I will search the whole island for these motherfuckers and I'll fucking kill them for laying a finger on you." He leans forward, his forehead inches away from mine.

A small smile creeps on my lips at his words, my heart warming instantly.

"I'm sorry about what I said the other day, all I wanted was to protect you and I'm sorry for disappearing on you. I'm sorry about all the lying and the secrets and I'm sorry I can't be what you need and deserve." His eyes move all over my face while his thumbs move gently over my cheekbones.

I bite my lip. "JJ, you're all I want. You're more than enough." I say with my whole heart, wanting nothing more than for him to see himself the way I do. "You're the most incredible person I know and it hurts me that don't see it."

"I don't deserve you." He whispers, his lips ghosting over mine. His breath becomes my breath.

"Shut up." I smile crushing my lips to his. It doesn't take more than a second for him to react, moving his mouth against mine, inhaling sharply as if I'm oxygen. I let out a low moan as JJ's lips started nibbling at mine, demanding entrance that I'm all too happy to grant. It's ridiculous how much I've missed him, the taste of his lips is enough to make all the pain disappear. Everything fades away as our tongues collide, teasing and testing each other. My hands travel to his hair, tugging lightly while he holds my waist carefully. I push myself forwards, sucking on his bottom lip before capturing it between my teeth. I can feel him holding back, he digs his fingers into my skin and releases a sharp breath.

"Y/n," He lets out a low groan, breaking the kiss.

My frustration builds more with each second passing, wanting nothing more than to feel his hands on me. I need to feel him. "What?" I breathe out.

"Maybe.." His eyes fall to my swollen lips, his mouth opening. "Maybe we should take it slow, considering what you went through the last few hours."

I shake my head. "No, I want you." I inch forward wanting to taste him again but he doesn't let me.

"Princess, trust me I want nothing more than to throw you on the couch and fuck you senseless while you scream my name for everyone to hear." He tilts his head downwards, his words making my insides hot and causing my thighs to clench together, hoping for some relief. His eyes big and wild, hungrily staring back at mine while I let my hands explore and touch his face, brushing his hair back and down his neck. My burning desire for his touch has overtaken me completely, my stomach tightens just at the thought of all of the things we could do but I know that he's right, my body still feels beaten and heavy.

"You need to rest for tonight." He takes my jaw between his fingers.

"Will you stay with me?" I'm scared that the minute we leave each other, things will go back to how they were, and what I realised after tonight and after what happened is that I don't wanna be without him anymore. I don't want to be scared anymore cause you never know what will happen.

His face breaks into a soft smile. "Lay down."

His arms felt familiar yet foreign. Like I missed the feeling of falling asleep buried in his chest, his scent filling my senses but different like something's changed.

.

.

.

.

The book that I'm reading has been getting less and less interesting with each minute passing. Maybe it's the fact that it's 10:00 pm and I'm laying in my bed, reading on Saturday night, or the fact that he hasn't called me or even texted the whole day. It's been a few days since the incident at the cafe. After we woke up that day JJ drove me back home and explained pretty much everything, about The Royal Merchant, the compass that they found, and how it lead them to the tape recorder that Big John left for his son. I still can't believe some of the things that happened to them and what they discovered. He made me promise that I won't tell a soul, something I would have done even if he hadn't asked. I haven't seen him since, mostly cause my parents have been babying me none stop. I told them what happened at the cafe, twisted around a little the actual truth, and claimed that the 2 men tried to rob the cafe but JJ and John B showed up. I haven't gone to school or done anything in general for the past few days. I've been laying low and have recovered completely but my mind has been stuck on what JJ told me. Through the days I found myself wondering what they were doing and wishing I was with them.

A knock on my widow breaks me out of my thoughts. JJ sends me a small wave. My head snaps to my door, checking if it's closed before running to open the window. He quickly pushes his tall body through the small opening, stumbling a little in the process.

"Hi" he breathes out, standing up straight.

"Hi," I giggle "what are you doing here?" I scan him with my eyes making sure that he's okay and also taking in the sight of him that I've missed so much.

"I wanted to check up on you." He says, running his hands through his hair.

My hands are itching, wanted to reach in and touch him but I don't know if that is too much. Honestly, I don't know where we stand, all I know is that I've missed him.

His eyes move around my face while he tugs his bottom lip between his teeth. My eyes catch the movement. "Come here." He mutters before reaching forward and wrapping his arms around my waist. I bury my face into the curve of his neck, my eyes closing at the feeling of his embrace.

"I missed you." He speaks so quietly that I almost didn't catch it.

I tighten my arms around his neck, silently responding. I missed him too.

"I was worried about you." I say, pulling away slightly.

"About me?" He lifts his brows playfully. "Come on have a little faith in my survival skills princess."

I slap his shoulder lightly, trying to hide my smile. "What happened? Is everyone okay?"

"Yeah, everyone's fine." He brushes me off. "I'll tell you everything but first.." He cups my jaw with his hands and presses his lips to mine. I let out a surprised sound that dies in my throat before moving my lips against his, responding. I feel him smile into the kiss and he opens his mouth slightly, allowing my tongue to slide inside. He hums as our tongues play with each other, letting his hands fall to my waist. He pulls my body closer to his, forcing me to my tiptoes while the kiss gets heavier. The sound of our lips and our heavy breathing fills the room.

"My parents will hear us." I breathe out.

"I don't care." He attacks my lips again, backing me slowly until the back of my knees hit my bed. He breaks the kiss and gives me a light push causing me to fall on the bed. He stares down at me with a smirk slowly dropping his hands to the bottom of his shirt and peeling it off his body. My eyes take him in, his chest and abs on full display. I bite my lip wanting nothing more than to reach out and touch him. He leans down, wrapping his hands around my neck, forcing my head upwards to look at him.

"Don't look at me like that." He drawls out.

I relax my face, staring at him through my lashes. "Like what?"

He pushes me down completely, my back flat against the bed while his legs are spread on each side of my hips.

He gives me a light slap on the cheek but it's enough to make my back arch and my thighs to clench together. "Don't test me, princess, 'cause I don't give a shit about your parents being just across the hall."

My hands find the bottom of my own shirt, pulling it over my head. "I don't give a shit either."

"Fuck." He dives right into my chest, his mouth nibbling and sucking on my exposed skin. My hands go to his hair instantly, guiding him to my breasts. He wastes no time, unclipping my bra and taking one of my nipples in his mouth.

"Mhh," I moan as he circles his tongue around the hardening nub. His hands hold my hips down when I try to find some relief by grinding my hips to his. His lips travel farther down teasingly, dragging his tongue over my stomach and stopping at the top of my pajama pants. His eyes shoot up, the light and hunger in them challenging me. His fingers toy with the fabric, pulling it down slowly, not breaking eye contact while I lift my hips, allowing him to fully take it off. He straightens up, his hands fumbling with his belt with his eyes glued to my panties. His breathing hardens when I open my thighs exposing myself to him.

"You have no idea how I missed you." He groans, pulling his pants down.

I blink at him with a small smile. "How much?"

His eyes darken, looking down at my figure hard. " Let me show you." He pulls me by the thighs to the edge of the bed and kneels down right in front of my core. I inhaled sharply as he wastes no time ripping my panties off of me. His eyes beamed with hunger, taking in the sight of me. He lowers himself just a little, his hot breath fanning my bare pussy causing shivers to spread through my body. He looks up, eyes narrowing playfully using the tip of his tongue to deliver a soft flick over my clit. My legs twitch slightly, which causes him to smile.

"Stay still princess." He pins my hips down again and drags his tongue over my slit. He groans against me, the vibration shooting through me while he wastes no time diving in and moving his tongue at a faster pace. Heat explodes through my veins, my toes curling at the feeling of his wet muscle absolutely devouring me with no hesitation. He sucks and nibbles, drawing and flickering against my sensitive nerves as I whimper shamelessly underneath him. My hand shoots to his hair, head falling back and my back arching when I feel not one but two fingers slotting into my entrance.

"Oh my god, Jay." I rasp out, my palm covering my mouth.

His fingers start moving violently fast inside me, filling the room with pornographic wet sounds as the heat on my lower stomach builds embarrassingly fast. "Fuck baby, you're so wet." He groans against me before moving his thumb to cover my clit, rubbing circles in a fast motion.

His mouth attaches to my neck, taking the soft skin between his lips. "I want you to come on my fingers baby can you do that for me?" He whispers in my ear.

My body lifts off the mattress, feeling myself climbing higher and higher. "I-I'm gonna-" The words die in my throat as a giant wave of unexpected pleasure crashes over me, my eyes roll all the way back to my head, my mind going completely numb as his fingers keep up the pace allowing me to ride it out.

"That's it, baby," He mumbles against my neck. I close my eyes, still feeling the tingling sensation lingering in my belly. He pulls his fingers out, the aftermath of my orgasm dripping to his palm. He wraps his swollen lips around them, testing me while piercing me with his blue eyes.

He moans lightly. "The taste of you is incredible."

"Can I have a taste?" I nod down to his visibly hard member, that's fighting against the fabric of his boxers as he straightens his back, towering over me. My mouth watering at the thought, hands inching to fill the weight of his throbbing cock against them.

A low chuckle escapes him. "I would die to feel those pretty lips around my dick," He takes my jaw between his fingers. "But there's something I want more right now." He captures his bottom lip between his teeth, reaching to pull his boxers down. His dick shoots up free hitting his stomach, my eyes flicker to the tip, red and swollen with drops of precum coating it already. He pulls the drawer of my nightstand open, grabs a condom from the ones that he left a few weeks back, and quickly rolls it over his dick. He takes both of my wrists in his hands before I have any time to touch him and slams me back down on the bed.

He pins my hands over my head. "Your hands stay there."

I nod, trying to stop the grin of excitement that's forming on my lips. The feeling of need and frustration that only he can make me feel and that I've missed so much overtakes me as he lines his dick in my entrance. His tip brushes over my clit, opening my folds before pushing in slowly.  His forehead falls on mine and we both gasp as he fills me up entirely.

"Shit, princess." He hisses when I nod my head and give him the green light to move which he wastes no time doing. He pulls out all the way before slamming back in, filling me up again with such a powerful push that it causes me to gasp out loud. His hips find a rhythm in no time, attacking me with sharp, deep thrusts that make my breasts bounce almost painfully. His forceful movements draw all kinds of sounds out of me while everything begins to fade. My ears fill with the sound of my own heartbeat and his low moans and grunts as he pushes in and out of me, stretching me out with the size of his cock. I fight to keep my eyes open, only being able to focus on his beautiful face, that's overtaken by a mesmerizing fucked out expression. His eyebrows are drawn together, drops of sweat coating his forehead while his mouth hangs slightly open. He looks breathtaking as he fucks me senseless, reminding me with each thrust that in reality, he's all I want. His hands reach for the back of my right thigh, lifting it a little gaining access to a better angle that allows him to thrust deeper. My eyes roll back, unable to contain the pleasure that shoots from my core, my hands fly to his back, nails dining to the soft flesh, earning a deep grunt from him.

"You're doing so well baby, look at you taking my dick like a good girl." He grabs my neck with his free hands, his pace quickening making the knot in my stomach tighten. I dig my nails deeper, hands tugging his hair while both of our bodies dripping with sweat but I don't care about anything except my second orgasm that approaches.

"Are you gonna come for me again princess?" He teases me, feeling my walls tighten against him. "Tell me how good it feels, and maybe I'll let you come." He demands, tilting his head downwards and tightening his grip around my neck.

I can feel my wall throbbing, tightening painfully around his dick trying to keep him inside as heat begins to spread in my belly. "It feels so good Jay, so fucking good please baby don't stop." My dignity dissolves as tears start to form at the corners of my eyes.

"Tell me I'm the only one you want." His thrusts being to get sloppy, signalling that his own high is approaching. His eyes are wild, and everything starts to feel overwhelming.

"Y-you're the only one, I only want you." I confess, my tone desperate and begging.

He connects our foreheads again, hand dropping to my clit and with a single flick of his finger, I'm over the edge. My back arches, black spots fill my vision, and an almost euphoric feeling pulses through my veins. My brain and body are overtaken with pleasure and I keep my eyes shut as JJ's orgasm hits him just as hard.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck." He buries his face in the curve of my neck, letting his low groans fill my ear. I let him ride it out, ignoring the over-sensitivity that I start to feel. His body freezes for a few seconds as he releases into the condom before collapsing on top of me. I feel his heart drumming in his chest while he tries to control his breathing. I'm still in a state of bliss, ears still ringing and heart still beating fast. We stay like this for a good minute, our sweaty bodies touching and our fast breathing filling the air until he decides to lift himself off me and fall to the side.

Silence overtakes us, letting everything that just happened sink in. He pops himself on his elbow, head resting on his hand as he looks down at me with soft eyes. His hair going in every possible direction, his lips swollen and his neck covered in marks I don't remember making.

I smile at the sight of him.

"What?" His breathing is still uneven.

"You're pretty." I think out loud.

His eyes shift, lips curving upwards. "I love you, Y/n."

The raw emotion is visible as he speaks the words, causing my heart to stop for a split second. The words I desperately wanted to hear and desperately wanted to say for so long. The skin of my cheeks tingled but I say nothing, still processing what he just said.

His face breaks into a smile, unphased by my silence. "Fuck, I wanted to say that for so long." He lets out a breath of relief, pushing his hair back.

I've dreamt about this moment, never actually believing that it'll happen, thinking that just a hookup was all that I would ever be for JJ.

I stare deep into his ocean eyes. "I love you too JJ." I speak the easiest truth I've ever had to say out loud.

His smile grows more, overtaking his whole face and causing his eyes to almost close. I reach over throwing a hand around his neck and kissing him like I've never had before. We both smile into the kiss and giggles fill the air.

"I'm in love with you." He says again, against my lips.

His phone interrupts our moment before I have the chance to say it back again.

He sighs, reaching towards the floor to retrieve it from the pocket of his pants.

"What?" He picks up, keeping his eyes on me. His face drops, eyebrows coming together. "Slow down, slow down." His gaze shifts and I lift myself to a seating position, quickly throwing my shirt on. "Okay, I'm coming got it." His body almost bounces as he paces back and forth, his free hand moving fanatically until he stops right in front of me, ending the call.

His eyes light up and a challenging smile tugs at his lips.

"What?" I ask, completely lost.

"Wanna join me on a treasure hunt princess?" He grins.

"What do you mean?" My face twitches with confusion.

"John B needs me, they found something." He begins to get dressed.

"And what? You want me to join you guys?" I can't help the excitement that spreads over my face. "What do you mean?"

"The guys are waiting for us at Kie's place." He stands up straight, all dressed and ready with his hands resting on his hips. "That's the reason I came here." He bites his bottom lip, trying to contain his smile. "To get you. They guys are okay with it, especially with everything happening with Sarah and John B. " He waves his hands around.

I frown." What's going on with Sara and John B?"

He shakes his head, reaching for my waist. "I'll explain on the way. Are you in or not?"

I look into his eyes, the deepest shade of blue I've ever seen. The eyes that I've fallen so hard for and I would do anything for. The eyes that are now silently inviting me, challenging me, and making my heart beat faster. All my life I wanted nothing more than to be like them, to feel what it's like to live life their way, and even though what happened was the scariest thing I've ever experienced I can't help but give him a small nod.

His teeth make an appearance before he takes my face in his hands, planting a kiss on my lips. "Get dressed then baby, the gold is waiting." He smirks.

I smile against his lips. I guess my mom was right; the choice is pretty easy if you follow your heart.

[1800classiccherries]

Keep you close! ♡‧₊˚

⚘ e42!Miles x black!fem!reader

⚘ fluff! use of n word, thats about it

⚘ Summary: Miles and reader go for a walk

⚘ Pretty short so I didnt bother with a wc.

⚘ This has been sitting in my notes for days and was going nowhere so I decided to stop struggling and post it. I didn't edit it besides a lil read over so if theres typos or sumn doesnt make sense, my b

“Hey, ma, you busy?” You hear from the other side of the phone, after picking up.

“No, and that’s the problem.” you sigh looking to the ceiling, “I think I’ll go on a walk or sumn…”

“At this time of night?”

“Uh, yes?”

You could hear the sound of his jacket shuffling around, “I’ll be at your place in 10 don’t leave without me, aight?”

“Wait-“ and he hung up.

10 minutes go by and just like he said he’s at your door. You shuffle out of your room and open the door wide enough for him to step in.

“I can handle going on a walk by myself, y’know,” you throw out while tying on your shoes.

He shrugs nonchalantly, “Yeah, I’m sure you could knock a nigga out but it don’t hurt that I go with you.” 

Once your done tying your shoelaces, Miles takes your hand in his before sliding both hands into his jacket pocket. You had no end destination in mind, you were willing to go anywhere as long as it wasn’t inside.

After mindlessly walking around in comfortable silence with the occasional fleeting conversation. You could hear a familiar voice down the street but was failing to place where you recognize it. Miles took notice of your concentrated face, as you try to jog your memory.

“What’chu thinking ‘bout?” He asks bumping shoulders with you to grab your attention.

“I think I might know someone down there,” you point with your free hand to the small crowd of people down the street, “Maybe we had a class together…? I guess we’ll see as we walk.”

As you draw nearer you subtly picked up your pace, not really wanting to walk through a crowd of what seemed like people leaving a party. All of them dressed nice, whereas you were dressed the opposite. I just won’t look, You tell yourself being sure to look anywhere but the crowd.

Nearly making it past the group you hear that familiar voice again, “Y/n? Is that you?”

Then it clicked, the girl speaking was in your class last year, Shelby. Y’all got along well and sat together the whole year, she was nice and easy to talk too. So while you weren’t in the mood to socialize you didn’t mind stopping to talk to her a bit. But as the two of you caught up you could see Miles getting flirted with out of the corner of your eye. Shelby followed your line of sight to the boy you kept glancing at.

“Let’s catch up more another another day. Those girls over there can be messy so you might wanna take him and keep going.” she warns.

The girls kept trying to flirt and make advances only to be shut down by Miles with a quick word or step back. You were feeling kinda of bad for him since you knew the only thing keeping him from taking your hand and going back home was that you were catching up with a friend.

“It was good talking to you, Shel.”

 you smile before walking over to Miles taking his hand and giving a sarcastic smile to the girls.

Once the two of you rounded the corner Miles speaks up, “Was fightin for my life back there, bout time you came n rescued me.”

“Aww, I’m sorry,” you giggle, “I’ll be sure to keep you closer when I talk to people.”

Feel free to leave requests or just talk :)

Thanks for reading!

[allthesmutl0vers]

Managing Mischief: Weasley Twins x F! Reader (Part Four)

TW: Nicknames like 'little one,' 'baby,' 'darling,' anxiety, fluff, sexual references, Fred and George x F! Reader, Y/N (Don't judge me pls, I love it, but I will try to start using less) (I'm trying to get better at listing TWs) *Smut is coming I promise, we're just building up to it*

Requests Open

Chapter Four

Y/n

Y/n

No parents around and a house full of horny teens? Yeah, this will end well. 

“Why are the three of you soaking wet?” Ginny asks us as we walk into the living room and see everyone sitting around the fire. 

“And where did you guys go? We looked for you,” Ron asks, his confused expression matching everyone else’s. 

“I pushed them in the lake after they threatened to throw me in,” I shrug with a smirk at Fred and George. 

“Nice,” Harry laughs.

“Seems like they got what they deserved, nice going, y/n,” Ginny smiles and laughs. 

“Damn, is everyone on your side?” Fred asks me, rolling his eyes with a chuckle. 

“No kidding,” George adds. 

“Now, now. Simmer down, boys,” I tease them, patting their arms.

“Should we play a drinking game? Since Mum and Dad are out for the night?” George asks, draping his arm around me. 

“Where are we going to get alcohol?” Hermione asks, much to my surprise. 

“Hermione Jean Granger, drinking?” I fake a gasp with a smile. 

Hermione rolls her eyes and giggles. “Hey, I did all of my summer reading and then some. Besides, this is the last year that we’ll all be able to celebrate going to school together,” she explains. 

“Where are we going to get alcohol?” Ron asks curiously. 

“Don’t you worry about that, little brother,” Fred winks and runs upstairs with George following behind him. 

“I’m going to go change,” I tell everyone before I go up the stairs to Ginny’s room. I close the door behind me, change out of my wet clothes, and put on a clean pair of red and gold flannel pajama shorts, a new shirt, and a dry pair of socks, putting my wet sneakers on the heater to dry. 

Everyone is already back when I get downstairs. Fred and George have changed, too. Both wear white tank tops, grey sweatpants, and socks. Fuck, they look so hot like this. I jump over the back of the couch, landing between them. “So, truth or dare?” I ask everyone. 

“Sounds fun,” Harry says with a smile. Fred pours us all a shot of fire whiskey, and Hermione starts off the game. 

“Umm,” she looks around and lands on Harry. “Harry, Truth or dare?” She asks. 

Harry thinks for a moment before answering. “Truth.”

Hermione smiles. “Do you like anyone in our year?” I smile, knowing she asked because he’s been not so discreetly crushing on Ginny forever. 

Harry blushes and nods. “In our year?” Hermione nods. “Yeah,” Harry smiles and looks over at Ginny, who is smiling too. Now that it’s Harry’s turn, he turns to Fred. “Fred, truth or dare?”

“Dare,” Fred smirks and takes another shot. 

“Okay,” Harry thinks for a moment. “I dare you to take three shots. Back to back with no chaser,” Harry challenges him. I can’t help but smirk, knowing that’s lightweight for Fred. 

“Psh, easy,” Fred chuckles and lines up three shot glasses, filling them and taking them without missing a beat. He sucks in a breath after he takes the last one and sighs contently before turning to me. “Y/n, love. Truth or dare?”

“Fuck, um, truth,” I answer, leaning back against George’s arm draped behind me on the couch. 

“Do you like anyone besides Draco?” Fred asks, biting his lower lip. Everyone stops laughing at the mention of his name, like somebody fucking died. 

I sigh and lean toward Fred with a smirk. “Yes, as a matter of fact, I have my eyes on a couple of people,” I tease before looking at everyone else. “And listen, guys, you don’t need to feel weird saying his name. He’s fucking dead to us now. Fuck him, well, not literally because he sucks in b-” I cut myself off and purse my lips for a moment. “Just because he sucks.” 

George laughs and leans forward. “Wait, wait, say that again?” He laughs. “Was Draco bad in bed?” He taunts. 

I put my hands up and laugh. “Hey, I already answered my truth,” I laugh. 

“Oh, that is brilliant,” Fred laughs hard as I take another shot. 

I turn to Ron. “Ron, truth or dare?” I ask with a smirk. 

“Uh, truth,” he answers. 

I smile and lean forward. “Is it true that you’ve been crushing on Miss. Granger for over a year?” I ask. I know they both like each other and if I’m not getting laid, at least someone should.

“Yes,” Ron answers, looking at Hermione who is bright red with a blush, and puts his arm around her. He then turns to Ginny. “Ginny, truth or dare?” 

“Hit me with a dare,” Ginny says confidently. 

“I dare you to kiss Harry,” he challenges. 

Ginny smiles and turns to Harry. She cups his face and kisses him deeply. We all cheer, clap, and laugh as Harry turns bright red when Ginny pulls back. He smiles and pulls Ginny into his lap as she looks over at George. “Truth or dare, Georgie?” 

“Truth,” he answers with a smirk. 

Ginny smiles deviously at me before looking at George again. “Is it true that you and Fred are still pining after y/n?” Now, it’s my turn to blush. 

George’s eyes land on mine as he looks down at my lips and back up at my eyes again. “Yup, since fourth year.” My eyes widen as I look over at Fred to confirm. They’ve liked me ever since then? 

Fred nods and leans in close, our noses almost touching. “Don’t look so surprised, little one.” 

George tips my head back to his and looks into my eyes. “Y/n, darling, truth or dare?” He asks smoothly. 

“Um, d-” the house phone ringing cuts me off before I can finish my answer, and I stand up to answer it. “One sec,” I wink at George before picking up the phone and placing it to my ear. “Weasley residence, y/n speaking.”

“Y/n?! Are you there?!” Molly asks in a loud panic. 

“Yes, Molly, it’s me, what’s wrong?” I ask, giving everyone behind me a weird look. Fred and George stand up and walk over to me, trying to listen in. 

“Y/n, you need to come to King Henry’s Hospital in London now,” she says in a hurry. 

“What? Why? What happened?” I ask, worrying something happened to Arthur. Then it hit me: she didn’t ask for her kids. She asked for me. “Molly?” I ask quietly as I look at Fred and George. “Are my parents okay?” I ask nervously. 

I hear Molly sniffle on the other line. “We’ll talk when you get here. Do you know how to disapperate? If not, have Fred or George bring you. But get here quickly; everyone else can stay behind if they wish,” she answers. 

“I’m on my way,” I hang up without saying goodbye and look around for my shoes in a panic. 

“Y/n? What’s wrong?” Fred asks me. 

“My shoes, I can’t find my shoes!” I start to panic as my mind swirls. 

Fred stops me and holds me in place with hands on my arms, leaning down to my height as I breathe heavily. “Darling, stop for a minute. Take a breath,” I do my best to take a deep breath before Fred continues. “Good. Now, tell me what’s wrong.” 

Tears threaten to spill from my eyes as I begin to shake. “My parents are in the hospital, and Molly said I need to come right away. I can’t find my shoes,” I sniffle. 

“I got your shoes,” George says, kneeling in front of me and sliding my slip-on Vans on my feet before standing up. George cups my face and looks into my eyes, brushing away my tears. “We’re coming with you.” 

“We’re coming too,” Harry says behind them, standing with Ginny, Ron, and Hermione. I nod as we all slip on coats and shoes. 

“It’s King Henry’s Hospital in London,” I tell them as we step outside and start to disapperate. Harry with Ginny, Ron with Hermione, and Fred and George with me. 

The hospital lights shine bright in the night as we land across the street. I let out a shuddering breath and Fred and George take my hands in theirs. “It’ll be alright, little one,” he promises softly.

“Don’t think the worst until we know what’s happening,” George reminds me as we cross the street. I nod as we walk into the emergency room. 

We all run over to Molly, my hands slipping from theirs as we reach her and I hug her tightly as Arthur pulls everyone else away. I don’t see any blood, so that’s a good sign. Right? “What happened?” I ask Molly frantically as I pull back, and she leads me over to the seating area. 

“There was an accident,” Molly says softly. “Your parents were in the car in front of us, and a big truck came out of nowhere and crashed into the side of their car. The paramedics got there as quick as they could, and they were taken here in an ambulance,” Molly explains. 

“Are, are they alive?” I ask, tears filling my eyes again as my voice shakes. 

Molly strokes my hair and sniffles. “The paramedics got them out, and they were alive. They were rushed here. We got here as quickly as we could, but they had already been taken into surgery,” Molly looks at me as I wipe away my tears. “I’m sure they’ll be alright.” 

I can’t lose them,” my voice cracks as more tears begin to fall.

Molly shushes me and pulls me in for a hug. “Now, now. Let’s not think that way, dearie. They’re doing everything they can,” Molly says, trying to soothe me. 

George

“Dad? What happened?” I ask as he pulls us away from Mum and y/n. I look back and see Mum holding her and y/n crying. 

“Her parents were in a car accident. It was bad,” Dad says softly as the other four gasp behind us. “They’re in surgery now.”

“Are they going to live?” Fred asks quietly. The look on his face tells me he’s just as worried as I am.

Dad sighs. “Honestly, son, I don’t know,” This is bad, so fucking bad. The others go to get coffee and snacks, leaving me and Fred with Dad. 

Dad looks at both of us. “Have you guys been drinking?” he asks seriously. 

There’s no point trying to lie or hide it. “Yes,” I answer truthfully. “But nobody drank that much. We’d only just started when y/n got the call from Mum.”

Dad sighs and shakes his head. “Given the circumstances, I’ll let it slide. And I won’t bring your mother into this,” Dad says to both of us. “But I seriously suggest you all get some coffee in you and sober up. And since when are Harry and Ginny together? And Ron and Hermione?” He asks with a raised eyebrow.

I look over at Fred, who looks back at me before answering. “Well, I guess during a game of truth or dare,” Fred clears his throat. “Everybody kind of told each other how they feel.” 

Dad narrows his eyes and tilts his head as he looks at both of us intently. “Everybody?” 

“Um,” I look over at y/n before looking back at Dad again. “Yeah.”

Dad nods and chuckles once. “Well, I’d say it’s about time,” he says, shaking his head before pointing at us. “But I expect you two to be perfect gentlemen. And don’t go forcing her into something she isn’t ready for,” he says, placing a hand on each of our shoulders. “She’s been through so much in the last two days. And the last thing we need is to lose her because you two couldn’t be patient with her. Do I make myself clear?” 

“We will,” we promise simultaneously.

Dad nods as the others all bring back cups of coffee for everyone. “Good. Now, bring her a coffee and try to keep her calm. Your Mother and and I will go see if there is any update.” 

Y/n

“Here comes everyone else,” Molly says, standing up. “You stay here, and Arthur and I will go see if there is any news,” I nod as she walks away, and Fred and George sit down on either side of me. 

“Here, darling. Drink some coffee, it’ll help,” George says, handing me a cup as he and Fred wrap an arm around me. My boys. 

“It’ll be okay, y/n,” Hermione tells me as she sits down across from me. 

“I hope so,” I sniffle. “I can’t lose my parents.” 

Harry squats down in front of me and takes my hands. “You won’t lose them, y/n,” he says, looking into my eyes. “And if Merlin forbid, fate should step in. I lost mine, too. I know that feels, and I will help you in any way I can. But I truly, truly believe that they will be okay,” Harry reassures me. 

“Thanks, Harry,” I say softly. He nods and moves to sit by Ginny. I let out a sigh and lean against George’s shoulder as he strokes my hair and Fred rubs my back. 

We all sit together, silently praying for good news as Molly and Arthur come back. “There’s no word yet. They’re still in surgery. Which is good news,” Arthur reminds me before turning back to everyone else. “Does anyone want to go home and sleep and come back? I can drive you.”

Everyone shakes their heads, and he and Molly sit down. “You guys can go home and sleep. It might be hours. I won’t be mad,” I tell Fred and George. 

“As long as you’re here, we’re here too, little one,” Fred says, holding one of my hands and intertwining his fingers with mine. 

“Exactly. We’re not going anywhere, darling,” George says softly, kissing the top of my head. I catch Molly looking at us and half-expect her to be upset. But instead, she smiles softly and nods before leaning her head on Arthur’s shoulder. 

Hours pass, and Harry, Ron, Ginny, and Hermione have all fallen asleep sitting up in their chairs. Finally, a doctor comes out. “Hunt family?” He announces to the waiting room. 

“Here!” I stand up quickly and raise my hand. The doctor motions for me to follow, and the twins, Molly and Arthur, follow, too, as I walk up to him. 

“And your name?” The doctor asks. 

“Y/n, Hunt. I’m their daughter,” I answer as he writes something down and looks at the twins and their parents. 

“Mhm. And your guests?” He asks curiously. 

I look at Fred and George. “Um, these are, um. My boyfriends, Fred and George,” I point to Molly and Arthur. “And these are their parents, Molly and Arthur.” 

The doctor looks stunned for a moment before he clears his throat. “Oh, I see. Well, it’s typically hospital policy that-” 

I cut him off in a hurry. “Anything you have to say, they can hear. Now, where are my parents?” I ask in a panic. Fred and George each hold one of my hands, trying to calm me down. 

The doctor sighs and leads us all into a private waiting room. “Please, have a seat.” 

“Oh, God,” I mutter softly as we all sit down around the table in the center of the room. 

The doctor takes a seat across from me and pulls out his chart. “Your parents have both received very serious injuries. Your mother fractured her skull, which resulted in a brain bleed,” I put my hand to my mouth as my legs begin to shake. Fred and George each put a hand on my thighs. “She also got a fractured pelvis and both legs.” 

I sniffle as the doctor describes my father’s injuries next. “Your father took the brunt of the damage. His spinal cord was fractured, and we are unsure if he will walk again. We will have to wait until he wakes up, but we are being optimistic. His scans showed no breaks, although he did fracture his skull as well, but we found no evidence of a bleed. He’ll have a nasty concussion when he wakes up.” 

“So, they’re alive?” I ask quietly. 

The doctor nods. “Yes, Miss. Hunt. They are both alive and out of surgery.” 

“Oh, thank Merlin,” Molly sniffles as she stands behind me and puts an arm on my shoulder. 

“And the driver that hit them? I am prepared to testify if need be,” Arthur says seriously. 

“The driver who caused the accident received no injuries, although he did have a blood alcohol level of 1.9. Over twice the legal limit. He has been released into police custody. As far as I know, he has been arrested for a DUI, reckless driving, and two counts of attempted vehicular manslaughter,” the doctor explains.

“Can I see them?” I ask quietly.

The doctor nods. “If you will all follow me, I will take you to them.”

“Son of a bitch should be in Azkaban if you ask me,” Arthur mutters behind me and the twins. 

“Arthur, not in front of the muggles, and watch your language!” Molly quietly chastises him. 

 We get to my parents’ room, and I gasp softly, seeing them both hooked up to ventilators. “I know it looks scary,” the doctor says, checking their vitals. “But it’s just to help them breathe until they wake up,” he says, walking back to the door. “I’ll leave you guys. Press the call button if you need anything,” he says, closing the door behind him.

I let go of the twins’s hands and make my way to my parents. “Mum? Dad?” I ask quietly. “Please don't leave me,” I plead quietly and sit next to my dad. Nearly three hours pass, and I feel my dad’s fingers twitch in my hand. “Dad?!” I exclaim, and he groans. I look back at Molly, Arthur, and the twins. 

“I’ll go get the doctor!” Molly says as she hurries out of the room.

“Dad, it’s me!” I tell him as his eyes flutter open, and he coughs around the tube in his throat.

“Welcome back, Phil!” the doctor says joyfully as I step back and smile at Fred and George, who beam with a smile. “Give us just one moment, and we’ll get that tube out,” he says. 

The doctor removes the tube from my dad’s throat, and he heaves and coughs. “My,” he coughs. “My wife, Shiela.” 

“Give me just a moment to check you over, Phil. Can you lift your arms for me?” My dad lifts his arms and drops them on the bed. “Great! And Can you wiggle your toes?” The doctor pulls back the blanket, and my dad's toes wiggle. “Excellent! Very excellent!” The doctor turns back to us with a smile. “I’d like to run a few more tests, but he should be just fine.” 

I breathe a huge sigh of relief. My dad coughs again. “What happened? Where’s my wife?” My dad asks. The doctor tells him everything that happened as I hold my dad’s hand. “And the bastard will be charged?” He asks. 

“He already has been, Phil,” Molly answers, walking up to his bed with Arthur and the twins. 

The doctor nods and grabs his chart. “I’ll be back to check on you, Phil. But you’re very lucky. You’re daughter here has two very doting boyfriends. Haven’t left her side this whole time,” he beams as he exits the room. Oh, shit.

My dad looks at me, stunned, blinking a few times. “Um, what did he say?” My dad asks me, and I feel my face heat up. Before I can respond, my dad chuckles and shakes his head, turning to Arthur. “Suppose I owe you two galleons,” he jokes. 

Me and the twins look at each other, confused before I turn back to my dad. “What?”

My dad takes my hand in his and chuckles. “Honeybee, a father knows when his daughter is truly in love,” he says to me with a smile before looking at Fred and George. “And he especially knows when two young lads are both pining for her heart.”

“You’re not mad?” I ask, confused. 

My dad shakes his head. “No, not at all, honeybee,” my dad chuckles. “I mean, did I see you ending up with both of them? No, what father would? But I do know that they both have your best interests at heart. And I also know,” he says, turning to look at Fred and George. “That they know to keep it in their pants,” he says, raising his eyebrows. 

“Oh my Gosh, Dad!” I exclaim, embarrassed. Fred and George chuckle behind me. 

“Absolutely, sir,” They answer in sync. 

“We only have the highest respect for her honor,” Fred says, laying it on thick and making me wish the Earth would open me up and swallow me whole. 

“And we shall guard it with our lives,” George adds on. 

“Mhm. I should certainly hope so,” my dad says in a serious tone that contradicts the smirk on his face. “But I do wonder what happened with that Malfoy boy. Don’t get me wrong, he was odd. And his father is cold enough to make a ghost shiver, but I thought you liked him?” My father asks me. 

“He broke up with me. He’s with someone else now. Apparently, they’ve had feelings for each other for a while. He broke up with me in a letter,” I answer briefly. 

“I’ll kill that boy with my bare hands,” My father says gruffly. 

“We’ll bring the shovels,” Fred says with a smirk. 

“Trust us, we feel the same way. He was too much of a pussy to say it to her face,” George adds. 

“Probably knew we’d kill him then and there,” Fred finishes. 

My dad chuckles and winks. “I knew I liked you boys.” 

“It’s so good to see you awake, Phil,” Arthur says with a smile.

My dad nods and looks over at my mum, who still hasn’t woken up. “Now, only if Sheila would wake.” 

“Well, I do have good news on that front,” Arthur smiles and looks at my dad. “I spoke to the minister of magic, and we are having you and Sheila transferred to St. Mungo’s. It’s a wizarding world hospital. I think you’ll find it a better place to heal. Their ‘medications’ tend to have a faster healing effect than muggle hospitals.” 

“What?” My dad asks, bewildered. “Oh, Arthur. How could I ever thank you?” 

Arthur claps a hand on my dad’s shoulder and smiles. “No need to thank me, Phil. Anything for family,” he smiles. “They’ll transfer you both at eight o’clock. Which is in,” he looks at his watch. “Merlin’s beard! Two hours.” 

My father nods and turns to me. “Go back with them and get some sleep, honeybee. You can come to see us before you leave for Hogwarts. But I don’t want to see you until then,” he holds up a finger when I go to argue. “Until then, I want you to relax, rest, and enjoy the rest of your summer. Your Mum and I will be just fine.” 

“But dad,” I go to argue, and he cuts me off and turns to Fred and George. 

“Keep her away from the hospital, you hear me, boys?” He asks them.

“Yes, sir,” they answer at the same time. 

“Good men,” he says, turning back to me. “I love you, honeybee. Go rest. I’ll see you in a couple of days.”

“I love you too, Dad,” I say, kissing his cheek and turning around to kiss my Mum’s as well. “I love you, Mum.” 

When we get back to the burrow, Molly makes a quick breakfast and sends us to bed. No chores today, given all of last night’s worry. Fred and George sneakily clean up the alcohol without getting caught, and after breakfast, she sends us up to bed. Boys still with boys and girls still with girls ‘as much as she is happy that everyone found their person,’ as she so lovingly and strictly put it. 

Fred and George walk me up to Ginny’s door. “So, ‘boyfriends,’ huh?” George smiles. 

“I’m sorry if that made you guys uncomfortable or weird. I just didn’t know what to say,” I hug myself. “And honestly, I don’t think I could ever choose between you t-”

George cuts me off by cupping my face and pressing his lips to mine, and my heart soars. My hands find his waist and he pulls me closer, deepening the kiss for a moment before he pulls back. Before I can blink, Fred pulls me to his chest and holds the back of my neck as he presses his lips to mine. I melt into his lips just as I did with George as he deepens it and holds me close. 

“You don’t have to choose, little one,” he says softly against my lips as he breaks the kiss. 

“What?” I ask, still reeling from their kisses as Fred pulls back, and they each take my hands. 

“You don’t have to choose,” George repeats Fred’s words, and he runs his free hand through my hair. “We both care deeply about you, and we never want to put you in a position where you need to choose one or the other. As long as you want it, we want it too, darling,” George says, lifting my hand to his lips and softly kissing the back of it. 

“You guys aren’t mad that I want you both?” I ask them. 

“How can we be mad when it’s exactly what we want? Silly girl,” Fred chuckles and bites his lip as their hands move to my waist and pull me to their chests. 

“We wouldn’t want it any other way. As long as it’s what you want,” George says, kissing me softly. 

I break the kiss and look at them both. “There’s nothing I want more.” 

Fred kisses me and bites my lower lip, making me moan softly in his mouth before he pulls back. “Good. Now go get some sleep, little one.” 

“We’ll be here when you wake up,” George promises, coming behind me and brushing my hair off of my neck and kissing it softly, making me hum in pleasure. 

Part Five

[stars-n-spice]

Welcome Back!

To yet another Silly Squad Saturday! Aka my attempt to post something Silly Squad (Bad Batch x Baddies Batch) related - be it headcanons, one-shots/fics, or art - every Saturday! Because Silly Squad Saturday has a nice ring to it and it eases into OC Sunday pretty nicely :) 

That and I want to try and motivate myself to do more with these guys because I post about like,, 10% of the collective lore I have about them while the rest of the 90% stays up in my brain. 

This week we've got: A Sharpshooters WIP!

I had an idea for a comic but thought it would be easier to write a one-shot for it instead. Rookie mistake. Oh well!

Anywho, enjoy the either first half or first chapter of a fic surrounding the idea that literally everyone on Pabu is protective of Crosshair (from his siblings, to their partners, to the islanders themselves) so when he introduces Tay to them all, they all get on his ass to make sure he doesn't hurt Crosshair in any way.

Tay’kaa Marr had faced some formidable foes in his past as a former gladiator turned mercenary for the Black Sun and later the Empire, so he was no stranger to going up against danger. He was a man who loved a challenge and never backed down when one was presented to him–ever relentless in his pursuit of victory.

However, years of hardship, experience, and running the risk couldn’t prepare him for the challenge that lied in front of him and the foes he now had to deal with. Nothing he’d ever faced before came even remotely close to what he had to deal with now:

Meeting Crosshair’s family. 

“Relax, dumbass, you’ll be fine,” Crosshair claimed, watching his boyfriend pace back and forth in the cargo hold of the Gozanti-class shuttle Tay totally didn’t steal from Black Sun and was now using as his own ship and temporary living quarters while being on Pabu. It was refurbished and a lot cozier than it was before and it was a place Crosshair found himself visiting whenever he needed some space and comfort away from it all. 

The two were currently getting ready to go and make their rounds around Pabu to formally meet Crosshair’s family, both of them finally having the courage to do so now that Tay was here on Pabu with Crosshair and had no plans of going anywhere any time soon. It was a huge step for both of them and Crosshair would be lying if he said he wasn’t terrified, yet the fact that his usually confident, suave, people-person boyfriend was seemingly so nervous about the whole ordeal had eased Crosshair’s nerves to the point of amusement. 

“Psh, of course I can handle it,” Tay responded with a scoff, looking over his shoulder and shooting Crosshair a small, playful glare. 

“I’ve made it easy for you. You’re just meeting them one at a time. I didn’t want to overwhelm you all at once…” he informed in a low drawl, absentmindedly rubbing his thumb over the textured parts on his new prosthetic hand that Omega had painted some doodles on the other day.

“Surely you can handle that,” Crosshair smirked, his tone teasing as he watched Tay momentarily pause and consider his words. Boom. Hook, line and sinker. The man couldn’t resist a challenge and Crosshair knew this well. 

“I’m just…nervous on your behalf-” He claimed, an awkward chuckle slipping past his lips as he turned around and slowly made his way over to where Crosshair was lounging on some rations crates like a damn loth cat. 

“My behalf?” Crosshair repeated, raising an eyebrow as he slowly sat up and folded his arms across his chest. 

“So you admit you’re nervous then?” 

“On your behalf-” Tay reiterated, stopping right in front of Crosshair as he attempted to flash his ‘this-is-me-trying-to-get-away-with-this’ smile, which obviously didn’t work as Crosshair had long since been unaffected by said smile. 

Crosshair clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes in response, biting back a small grin because any bit of amusement would either A) Feed Tay’s ego and make him think he could still use his charm on Crosshair or B) make the poor bastard even more nervous about the whole ordeal and that last thing Crosshair wanted was either thing. 

Yes, he was nervous too, but Crosshair preferred to just rip off the bandage now and get it over with despite knowing his boyfriend was the type to avoid and ignore any sort of feelings that didn’t make him feel good.

“Oh, right. On my behalf,” Crosshair echoed sarcastically as he shook his head, “How very touching…So thoughtful…” He smirked a bit and reached out to Tay’s lower lethorns, wrapping his hands around them and giving them a tug so Tay stumbled forward with a small gasp of surprise.  

Before he could fall over, Tay caught himself against the crate, his hands on either side of Crosshair’s thighs and pinning him in place while Crosshair kept his hands around the lethorns. It took Tay a moment or two to register what had happened, his brain slowly processing it as he blinked in confusion before he shook his head and let out a small huff at the sarcasm in Crosshair’s voice, though he knew the man was only teasing him. 

“I’m serious, Cross-” he grumbled, watching as Crosshair’s gaze was fixated on the silver clasps on his lethorns as he fiddled with them. 

“You sure you want to do this? I mean…are you…ready to do this?” he asked, his tone suddenly serious enough for Crosshair to pause and consider his words as he slowly looked up to meet his boyfriend’s eyes. 

He could tell Tay was nervous about the whole ordeal, after all appearances and reputation meant a lot to the man, but there was something more than that. Something that made Crosshair think that Tay really was nervous on Crosshair’s behalf and was just triple checking that he was comfortable enough with the idea of introducing Tay to his family. After all, it was a known fact that Crosshair wasn’t exactly an open book–not to Tay and not to his siblings either (though he was trying to get better at that)–so to bring them together seemed almost unrealistic to Crosshair when he really thought about it.

Crosshair had been sarcastic earlier, but he couldn’t deny that his boyfriend was actually incredibly sweet and thoughtful. Of course, the dense idiot wasn’t always like that, it was something Tay had learned to be over the time period since their first meeting, but it meant the world to Crosshair that Tay cared. That he really cared.

He felt a flutter in his chest and he scoffed it off in response, his gaze falling down to the space between them as he tried to will the heat that was creeping onto his cheeks to sink back into his–what was supposed to be–cold heart. 

“Dumbass…” Crosshair muttered with a small click of his tongue before he forced himself to look up at Tay. “You think I wouldn’t have gone along with this if I wasn’t ready?” Crosshair questioned, his tone playful yet slightly insulting as he tugged at Tay’s lethorns. 

“Well, I mean-” Tay fumbled, scrunching his face a little at the feeling of Crosshair pulling at his lethorns before his hands came up to wrap around Crosshair’s wrists, the cold feel of Crosshair’s prosthetic no longer catching him off guard, to tug his hands off of him. 

“Don’t mean anything-” Crosshair grumbled, shooting Tay a small glare as the Chagrian pried his hands off of him, “-just meet them.” 

With a huff, he pushed his hands forward and wrapped them around Tay’s lethorns again in an act of rebellion. Tay let out a small sigh, allowing it to happen, though he kept his hands around Crosshair’s wrists as his thumbs absentmindedly rubbed against Crosshair’s one pulse. 

“Stop overthinking it…” Crosshair advised, giving Tay’s lethorns yet another tug to pull him closer.

“I like you better when you don’t think..” he teased with a small smirk, making Tay roll his eyes and let out a huff of amusement at the playful jab. 

“Hmm…yeah, because my reckless behavior is so charming,” Tay all but purred sarcastically as he leaned closer down to Crosshair enough to press a chaste kiss against his lips. 

“S’ not my fault I don’t think much…” Tay claimed in a low murmur against Crosshair’s lips, “Got hit in the head one too many times…” 

“So quit thinking about this,” Crosshair urged with a small snort, returning the kiss for a second or two before he pulled away and grinned up at Tay. 

“Besides…they want to meet you,” he informed, letting go of Tay’s lethorns finally only to give the Chagrian a playful shove. It caught Tay off guard, enough to make him stumble back and give Crosshair enough room to get up onto his feet. 

“And I’m sure you’d rather not stay cooped up here on the ship all the time,” Crosshair added, motioning around the cargo bay as he started down the ramp and onto the sand. “Hiding like some kind of hermit,” he teased, looking over his shoulder at Tay with a smirk. 

Tay rolled his eyes fondly, taking in the bits of the shuttle he’d been calling home for quite some time now. While it was starting to be familiar and was cozy enough for Tay, it still had hints of his past with Black Sun lingering in and around the hull like a ghost. It was home, yes, but some days and some nights, it hurt like hell to be in there–trapped with painful memories and bouts of regret and guilt. 

Besides, the beaches and ocean of Pabu were calling to him. In their gentle waves that kissed the sand and sheer, clear blue water; they echoed the call of Champala–a home Tay never had the pleasure of growing up in despite its waters running through his veins. 

Maybe Pabu could be that new home…He just had to take the first steps towards it.

“Yeah, yeah…” Tay muttered, shaking his head as a small smile slowly formed across his features while he watched Crosshair walk down the ramp. 

“You just want to show me off,” Tay half-joked, feeling some of his usual confidence return as he took Crosshair’s advice and decided not to think about it; his feet moving before his brain could talk him out of it. 

Hearing the confidence return to Tay’s voice and the footsteps falling behind him, Crosshair couldn’t help but grin despite Tay’s teasing remark. It seemed like it was finally happening and there was no turning back for either of them. 

“In your dreams, lover boy,” Crosshair responded, calling over his shoulder towards Tay as he watched the man hurry down the ramp to join him. 

“C’mon, I’ve always wanted to be a trophy boyfriend-” Tay quipped as he caught up with Crosshair and gave him a playful nudge. 

“Y’know, go back to the good ol’ days…” he joked, poking light at his past as a former champion gladiator; as if they weren’t some of the most physically and mentally traumatizing years of his life. But that was just like Tay to make a joke out of something like that and Crosshair couldn’t help but roll his eyes and shoot Tay a look. 

“Forget about it,” Crosshair retorted, shaking his head as he huffed and put his hand in Tay’s own. “You’re not a damn trophy, you’re my boyfriend. Now hurry up, I don’t want to keep my siblings waiting-”

Tay had little chance to protest or react in any way for that matter as Crosshair began to drag him along down the shore and over to the docks, though Tay wasn’t really looking to complain. Crosshair’s declaration had his heart fluttering and his chest filling with warmth as the two of them started towards the beginning of something new.

Last Week's Silly Squad Saturday

If you're new to the squad; check out these links to learn more about them: 💫 Silly Squad Masterlist 💫 Baddies Batch Masterlist 

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[skzhocomments]

Mafia Book #2 - PART II - The Withered Rose - Chapter 8 - A proper new beginning (FINAL CHAPTER)

Story masterlist - please consult it for the summary of the story, trigger warnings etc.

General masterlist

PART I - The Black Iris

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Wattpad | AO3

Chapter 7 (Previous chapter)

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PART II - The Withered Rose

Chapter 8 - A proper new beginning (FINAL CHAPTER)

chapter word count: ~5.5k words

~2 months later~

“Yes, just like that, baby.” Chris moans softly as he feels Emilia swallowing his length down her throat. “You’re the best.”

Emilia hums in acknowledgment, gently scratching Chan’s thighs with her nails.

“Shit, I’m gonna burst if you keep that up. Come on, baby, let me feel you too.” He puts his right hand on her head, trying to stop her from sucking the soul out of him.

“I can’t help myself when you taste so good.” Emilia says after finally pulling back.

“Let me return the favour, love.”

“No need, just come here.” She puts her arms around his neck and pulls him back down with her on the bed, on top.

“Really? Are you already that wet for me?” He smirks.

“Mhm, daddy.” Emilia smirks as well, and Chris blushes. “You’re so cute when you get shy.”

“Cute is the last thing I want to be when you’re under me like this.” He looks at Emilia fondly and wastes no more time entering her.

She bites her bottom lip and holds back a moan, but when Chris presses his lips against her neck, sucking on the sweet spot he so conveniently remembers, she can’t help herself anymore.

“So good for me.” Chris praises, moving steadily in and out of her.

“Fuck, I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Emilia. Cum for me, will you, love?”

Emilia nods shortly before feeling the waves of her orgasm take over completely. It’s always been like this with Chris; he knows exactly how to kiss her, how to move, and what to say to get her to come undone.

He follows her soon after and releases inside of her, confessing his love to her over and over again.

“Go get me some Plan B tomorrow, I can’t go through another pregnancy.” Emilia says a few minutes later after they’ve cleaned up.

She is now laying on his chest just as she used to do when they first fell in love, and she’s never felt more at peace.

“I didn’t get to witness the first one, though. It’s not fair.”

“Sucks to be you.” She chuckles, and Chan tuts.

“Which reminds me. Ivy’s 4 already. Have you looked into kindergartens?”

“Ugh, I know I have to, I just… I’m a bit anxious to be away from her.”

“You don’t seem too anxious now.” Chan remarks with a smirk. For the past 2 months, ever since they made up, they spent no nights apart.

“She’s always had her own room, so she doesn’t mind sleeping alone.”

“You raised her well.”

“Thanks, and now it’s time for you to take over. I’ve been thinking…”

“Yeah? About what?”

“She’s still calling you Chris.”

“Yeah. She’s a cutie, can’t even pronounce the r right.” Chan chuckles.

“Wouldn’t dad sound better? I think she’s old enough to learn the truth, and I’m also ready…”

Chan smiles and kisses the top of her head.

“Wooyoung will be pissed.” He chuckles.

“Well, he’ll probably still be daddy to her, since he’ll stick around.”

“I know. I do owe him a lot, so don’t get me wrong. I’m not mad or anything.”

“Good. Don’t be.” She lifts her head to peck his lips, and then falls back down on his shoulder.

“Emilia, I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

“I’ve been following some suspicious activity for the past 2 years. Someone has been trying to revive The Scarlet Rose.”

“What?” She asks surprised and raises her head again to check if Chris just tried to tell a funny joke.

Unfortunately, he looks serious.

“They re-recruited people through the newspapers, but they started a more hands-on approach lately. Jisung and Iris have been investigating, and apparently, your former boss had a son out of wedlock. No one knew about it, so it was easy to keep him hidden and train him to take over someday.”

“Shit. That’s… unbelievable.”

“Yeah. We thought we finished them off by killing the boss and his closest associates. We’ve been sloppy.”

“So… what are we going to do about it?”

“Changbin, Minho and I have been working closely to set up a plan to blow them up and finish them off properly this time. We want to go through with it sometime next month, if we manage to find their location.”

Emilia stays silent.

“I’m sorry for not telling you any sooner. I just… I kept putting it off.”

“Why?”

“Because… you will want to join, and I… what if something happens to you?” Chris frowns.

“Then, what if something happens to you? Or were you willing to sit this one out and let your friends fight the war on their own?”

“Of course not… all of us are involved in this.”

“Do Wooyoung and San know about this mission?”

“No… I haven’t told them either.”

“Well, I don’t know about Wooyoung, but I’m sure San would have a few choice of words to tell his old mafia.”

“Is there really no way to prevent you from joining somehow?”

“Chris, we will do this together. Let’s pair up and take care of each other this time, okay?”

“Okay. Let’s have a meeting tomorrow and sort it out.”

~

“So, let me get this straight, even if you took care of those bastards, they still found a way to get back on track?” Wooyoung asks.

“Yes. Those fucking roses, can’t get rid of them!” Changbin curses.

“So, what’s the plan, boss?” San asks, eyeing Chan.

“We have a plan, but…”

“But?”

“Going head-on wouldn’t be a problem.” Minho starts. “But there’s still that issue with their current location.”

“What issue?” Wooyoung asks.

“We discovered three of their possible headquarters, but can’t be sure which one of them they actually reside in. All of them are guarded, so if we pick the wrong one and fail, not only would the new boss get alerted, but there might also be pointless casualties on our side.”

“It’s not our style to go unprepared.” Seungmin adds.

“What if there’s another way? Something similar to last time?” Emilia looks around the table. “When we planned Project Thrips, Boss had a big party to celebrate a really important trade. Maybe his son will do the same to officially establish his position within the Mafia, and we’d find out where the party is held.”

“The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” Iris adds with a nod.

“That would be amazing. We just need all of them - or at least most - to be there in the house while we plant our explosives, and BOOM!” Changbin mimics the explosion with his hands.

“I agree with all of you, but how would we find it out this time? We no longer have any inside man to do the job for us.” Minho asks.

“I could try to infiltrate their mafia somehow…” Hyunjin suggests, but it’s quickly shut down by everyone around the table.

“San, what about the man that saved you?” Emilia asks in a hopeful tone, moment when San’s face brightens up.

“It’s a long shot, but I’ll try to get in touch with him.”

“That’s dangerous. How do we know if we can trust him?” Changbin rejects the idea, before quickly adding “I meant that man, not you, San. We’re cool.”

“Sure, brother.” San laughs. “The thing is, that man was following the Boss’ orders only because he was indebted to him somehow… I told you, he’s all about favours and returning favours, not so much about loyalty per-se. I don’t know if he made the run for it after you guys killed Boss, or if he decided to stick by his son as well…”

“Only one way to know. I will find him.” Jisung stands up immediately and heads towards his office. San nods and stands up as well, following him out of the room.

“So, depending on what these two find out, there’s either Plan A – go berserk to all locations and try to kill everyone until we get to the new leader, or Plan B – Project Thrips Pt. II, where we find out their exact location, plant our bombs and watch the place burn.” Momo says.

“What’s sure, though, is that we need to get rid of them, otherwise they might become a bigger problem later on.” Felix butts in.

“Let’s kill them all.”

~

~two weeks later~

“Chris, higher, higher!” Ivy exclaims while stomping her little feet in the air.

“Ivy, what do we say when we ask someone to do something for us?” Emilia scolds.

“Pleaaaseee.”

“Oh my, you’re so polite. Since you asked so nicely…” Chris replies, pushing her swing more.

Ivy laughs happily while going higher, until eventually Chris slows the swing down.

“Noooo!”

“Now, now, we don’t want you to fall, do we, baby?”

“Why? Will it hurt?”

“Yes, it would.” Chris pouts.

“Ivy, mommy wants to tell you something.” Emilia approaches the swing and squats down in front of the little girl.

“What is it mommy?”

“Do you like Chris?”

“Yes! I love him!”

Emilia smiles.

“Well, baby, I have something to tell you. Come here.” She urges her to come closer with her finger, and Ivy squirms with excitement and leans down, almost pressing her ear against Emilia’s mouth.

She whispers something that Chris can’t hear to her daughter, and the moment she is done, Ivy starts giggling. She stands up and throws herself against Chan, who is barely able to catch her in time, so she doesn’t fall, and he picks her up in his arms.

“I love you, daddy.” Ivy says, hugging him, and Chris is left bewildered.

Sure, he’s talked about this with Emilia before, but he didn’t expect Ivy to be so receptive or start calling him something different so fast, and although he wanted nothing more than Ivy to know that he is her father, he thought he was content with being called Chris, and not dad.

Until now, that is, for the moment the words left her little lips, his heart swelled up in his chest and he felt tears starting to roll down his cheeks.

“I love you too, baby.” He kisses her cheek, and Emilia can’t help herself but hug both of them tightly.

She’s never been happier.

~

~one month later~

“Preparations are finally complete. Let’s recap.” Chris starts with a clap of his hands.

“I don’t like the sense of déjà-vu this is giving me.” Momo shakes her head and Emilia starts laughing.

“Don’t interrupt him. He might grow a second head and eat the table and everyone around it.” Felix chuckles, making Chris roll his eyes.

“Very mature, guys. Come on, this mission is important.”

“How do we know that we can trust San’s guy?” Changbin frowns. “What if no one will be inside when we get there?”

“We don’t know. That’s the beauty of this mission. We’re starting with Plan B and hoping that the man is not loyal to the Scarlet Rose’s new boss, and in case things go awry, we switch to Plan A and fight everyone that’s present. If there’s no one there to fight, we call it a day and come back home.” Minho shrugs.

“Okay, now stop talking.” Chris claps his hands again. “Team 1 goes to the East side of the mansion. This is me, Emilia, San and Hyunjin. Team 2 takes the West entrance: Momo, Changbin, Felix and Jeongin. Team three is made out of Minho and Iris who will infiltrate the mansion through the North wing. Team 4 stays outside the South side since it’s the least guarded, and keeps their eyes on us: Wooyoung, Seungmin, Jisung. Our other men will be close in case we can’t plant the bombs and need reinforcements. All clear?”

“Sure thing, boss.” San nods.

“Let’s finish them, once and for all.”

“Let’s blow their place up!” Felix smirks excitedly.

~

“Nervous?” Chan asks Emilia in the car as he notices her checking her weapon.

“No, just making sure I have bullets on me this time.” She chuckles.

“No longer making the same mistakes, huh?” Hyunjin smirks.

“Exactly, tomato head.”

“He’s a pretty good-looking tomato, not gonna lie.” San shrugs.

“Thanks, man. Right back at you.” Hyunjin friendly pats San’s thigh once, and the two start laughing.

“I see you’re totally settled in.” Emilia mocks.

“How could I not, when my darling lives there as well?” San asks with a bright smile and grabs her hands, and Chan clears his throat.

They park the car a bit further away in the forest surrounding the potential new house of the Scarlet Rose and slowly start approaching the villa on foot. Hyunjin climbs in a tree nearby and, as decided, sets up to surveil the area with his sniper.

Chris, San and Emilia manage to take down the guards at the East gate and successfully make their way throughout the gardens. If their informant has been right, about 5 more men should be stationed at the entrance of the house, patrolling around.

“Sure enough, five guards.” Hyunjin taps on the microphone on his ear to inform his teammates of what he’s observing through the sniper lens.

“Thanks, Hyun.” Chan replies. “We’re advancing towards the house.”

“I’ll cover.”

“San, you go to the right. Try to not let any of them see you. Emilia and I will take care of them and then head to the left and try to get in through the third window on the ground floor.”

San nods and grabs Emilia’s hand, making her turn around.

“Be safe, Emi”

“You too. I love you, San.”

“Let’s go on a date when this is over.” He chuckles, and Emilia playfully slaps his arm. She knows that San is just joking around. In the past months, they’ve talked a lot about their feelings, and figured out that they care way more about each other as best friends than as anything else. The years helped San realise that his feelings were never romantic; he simply had a strong urge to protect her and cared so much about her, his younger naive self mistook it for romantic love, when it had always been platonic.

San even went on a couple of dates with Momo, but it didn’t work out that well, so now he’s turned his attention to Hyunjin, much to Wooyoung’s annoyance, who is sporting the biggest crush on San but has no confidence to actually do something about it.

Emilia finds it all amusing.

They bid each other farewell and promise to meet as soon as possible, when the mission is over.

They hug tightly before parting ways, and Emilia and Chris carefully start walking through the gardens, hiding themselves behind bushes and trees.

“You take that one.” She mouths to Chan, pointing to one of the guards that’s closing the distance between them. “I’ll take the other.”

Chan nods briefly and steps away from the tree, hitting the guard swiftly behind his neck, making him pass out in one move.

“Nice.” Emilia smiles and applauds him silently.

“Your turn.” Chan whispers.

She crouches down and picks up one of the syringes in her pockets, blowing it through a tube. It hits the guard in the thigh, and he curses briefly before looking down at his leg.

By the time he realises what happened, he grows dizzy and falls to the ground.

“Wooyoung and Jeongin working together on sedatives is pretty scary.” Chris affirms, hitting the guard with his leg to check if he’s really passed out.

“They seem to get along well.” Emilia chuckles.

“Stop flirting and move along, there’s 3 more right in front of you. They’re having a cigarette break or something.” Hyunjin speaks right in their ears.

“Should we take them all out?” Chris taps on his earpiece.

“Yeah, they look distracted. I can also shoot if you want me to.”

“No need. It would only attract attention. Let’s go, Emi.”

“Shit, I’m a bit wary of body combat.”

“You trained with Minho every day. Have some faith in yourself.”

“I still can’t take you on in a fight.” She frowns, and Chris chuckles.

“No, but I doubt these guys are on my level, love. You can start training with me after this mission, if you want.”

“Promise?”

“Promise. Now let’s go.”

They move quietly and, after a few deep breaths, they get out of hiding and jump the three guards who are completely taken aback. They don’t have enough time to draw their guns as Chris relentlessly starts attacking two of them, and Emilia takes care of the third.

“You’re a pretty tough guy, aren’t you?” She asks breathlessly after hitting the guy with all her force a few times.

“A weak girl like you could never win against me.” The man chuckles lowly and launches on her, but she is quicker. Even if she’s never been that good at body combat, what she’s always been good at was tricking people into doing exactly what she wanted them to.

As he jumps to hit her, she manages to grab one of the syringes from her pockets and sticks it deeply in his arm, at the cost of a punch that misses the real target - her jaw - and lands in her chest.

The pain is so strong, she can’t breathe for a few seconds, and she thinks in horror about the bruise that will form there, as the man falls unconscious to the ground.

“I don’t have to be stronger than you. I just have to be smarter.” She says with a smirk.

“Emi, a little bit of help here!” Chris shouts, making her turn around just in time to see him get hit in the stomach by one of the two men.

She doesn’t have enough time to come closer as Chris lands a strong punch in that guy’s temple, making him go unconscious as well. The other was already laying down on the ground.

“What did you need help for? You took them both out.”

“Oh, I didn’t need any. I just wanted you to see how cool I am when I’m fighting.”

“You still got hit.” She chuckles and pecks his lips.

“Oh, my. It hurts so bad you’re going to have to take care of me when we get back.” He smirks against her lips.

“You two are disgusting. Can’t you wait until you get home?” Hyunjin says through the earpiece, making the two laugh.

“Hyun’s right. Let’s go do our part and withdraw.” Emilia grabs Chan’s hand and they both start walking slowly towards the third window of the mansion.

Chan kneels down on one knee to allow Emilia to lift herself up using him, and then, she helps him up as well.

“Sky, how’s it going?”

“Team 3 is in. San already planted his bomb. Team 2 is still fighting. Need me to connect you to anyone?”

“No. We’re planting the bomb then going to find the new boss.”

“Be careful.”

Emilia takes out the small device from her pocket and they find a spot in the bookshelf in the room to place it securely.

“Momo challenged herself with these things. Brilliant idea.” She praises, unable to understand how such a small thing would be able to cause a big explosion.

“Right?” Chris smiles. “Our team only has the best.”

“You picked them well.” She smiles back. “Okay. We’ve done the easy part. Now… we have to find the new boss.” Emilia’s voice falls, and she starts getting anxious.

Infiltrating a house is never hard, but since they are unsure of their source, they decided to also look for the boss to confirm the boss is actually there.

“Before we go…” Chan starts. “Last time we had a mission together, you told me something. I feel like it’s time I tell you this, too. Emilia, we don’t know how today might go, so I just wanted you to know that I’ll always be on your side, no matter what.”

Emilia smiles.

“I know that already, Chris.” She kisses him, and when they part, they take a few moments to look into each other’s eyes. “And I on yours.”

“I know. I love you.” Chris places his hands on the sides of her face and kisses her again, deeper this time.

It’s hard for him to pull back, unaware of how tonight might go, so he makes sure to kiss her as if it would be the last time he’d get the chance to.

It might be.

“Now, let’s go.” He says after reluctantly breaking the kiss, and she nods.

They open the door and exit in the hallway on the ground floor. Multiple voices can be heard from all around them, signalling that the mansion is full.

“Maybe it would be better to just leave. We’ve already planted our bomb.” Emilia grabs Chan’s hand to stop him, but he shakes his head.

“We must do it better this time around. Besides, what if the others aren’t successful in planting their bombs? He might get away without a scratch. We can’t let that happen. He might not even be here.” Chris speaks, trying to sound convincing enough.

Truth be told, he’d much rather abandon the mission while both Emilia and him are still alive and well, but he knows he can’t.

“Damn, why are there so many people h-”

“Shh.” Chris covers her mouth with his hand and looks at her in panic. Someone is getting closer to them. They hold their breaths as they enter a random room, that’s thankfully empty.

“That was close.” Emilia whispers.

“We have to be careful. The boss’ room should be on the first floor if San’s informant is right, and in order to get there…”

“There’s four more rooms to pass until the staircase.”

“Shit.” Chris curses. “Okay… we can do this.”

Emilia grabs his hand and feels her chest get tight, unsure if it’s because of the impending sense of doom, or if it’s the result of the hit she received earlier.

They wait for a few more seconds before going back in the hallway and they try to control the anxiety rising in their chests. The breathing is the hardest to control, but they can’t be loud. Not now, when being discovered would equal certain death. No matter how skilled they both are, they couldn’t possibly escape a hallway of death while surrounded by armed enemies from all sides.

Through sheer luck, they manage to pass by the 4 rooms without anyone bumping into them in the hallway or noticing them passing in front of the doors, and they find the stairs.

They open each door on the first floor but find no one inside, until they finally get to the last door. They pray and pray that the boss is in the mansion in his room, and not on the ground floor in the living room with his guests, or even worse, in one of the other two mansions, and once they open the last door, they are relieved to notice that their prayers have been answered.

However, things can never go so smoothly.

A gun is pointed right at Chris as soon as he steps into the room, and he doesn’t get the chance to prevent Emilia from following him inside. The door closes behind them as soon as she does.

“Who are you? Why have you come here?!” The man inside raises his voice just as Emilia enters and sees San on the ground, beaten to a pulp, with a pool of blood under him.

“Oh my God!” She exclaims in horror.

“Answer!”

“Chris, where are you? San confirmed earlier that the boss is in his room, so you no longer need to go to check. We’re blowing them up. Team 2 confirmed they’re done. Setting up the countdown now. You have 5 minutes to get out.” Seungmin announces through the earpiece, but it’s too late. They’re already there. San is already there and lost the battle against the boss.

“We came to do what’s right.” Chris answers eventually, feeling anxious and unsure, but not letting it show. The situation doesn’t look too promising. He doesn’t know if San is dead or alive, but by the looks of it, he’s not very hopeful.

He also doesn’t know how to avoid getting shot in such a compromising position. He can only pray the man has shit aim.

“And what is that supposed to mean? Don’t tell me, you’re the bastards that killed my father!”

“And proud.” Chris chuckles. “Now we came for you. Your whole mansion is surrounded by our men. Even if you somehow kill us, there’s no way out for you. You’re all done.”

The boss contemplates Chan’s words for a few moments, before bursting out into a maniac laughter.

“Well, if I am to die anyway, let’s go to hell together.” The man screams at the top of his lungs and presses on the trigger, shooting Chris right in the chest.

Emilia’s eyes go wide as her lover falls to the ground in front of her, and her reactions have never been quicker. With her gun already in her hands, it’s easy enough to point and shoot that man, who instantly lets go of his pistol and grips the wound frantically with his hands, trying to stop the bleeding.

She’s never felt worse, and she hates the déjà vu feeling this whole situation gives her. It’s just like five years ago, when Hyo shot Felix in front of her eyes.

Once again, she is powerless, and she couldn’t prevent it from happening. Both San and Chris are on the floor, heavily wounded, and she doesn’t know what to do, who to help first.

Damn, why did they come to this mansion?

Why?

Why did things have to go like this?

She starts shaking uncontrollably as her eyes swell up with tears, and she kneels down next to Chris to check the damage. He’s closer than San, and while San’s been bleeding for a while, Chris has just been shot, so maybe, just maybe, there’s something she can still do.

“Chris! Oh God!” She exclaims while grabbing him and raising his head from the ground, but to her surprise, he sits up himself with a groan.

“Ugh, it feels like I’ve been hit with a baseball bat.” He touches the place on his chest where the bullet hit him.

Emilia looks confused for a second, before Chris starts talking again with difficulty. His brows are furrowed and his jaw is clenched, but still, he manages to stand up on his own holding the painful spot on his chest.

“Bulletproof vest. I’m not repeating Felix’s mistakes.”

“You idiot! I was so scared!” She cries out and stands up as well, hugging him tightly.

“I’m alright, fuck.” He pets the back of her head to comfort her. “Is he dead?” He points at the man hunched on the floor, and Emilia realises she hasn’t checked. She’s sure she’s hit him, but…

“Three minutes and the place explodes. Did you get out yet?”

They ignore Seungmin’s question as she stands up and goes to the man that’s hurling in pain.

“You bitch… who the fuck are you and how dare you-” He turns around to look at Emilia, then cowers in fear at her expression; her eyes are darker than the black of her hair, and her bright red lips turn into a sadistic smirk.

“Just a scarlet rose that’s withered completely. Now, go see your dad in hell, you bastard.” She shoots him one more time, ending his life.

“We have to get out now, Emi.” Chris grabs her hand. “Let’s-”

“What about San? I’m not leaving him behind for the second time.” She cuts him off with haste, running towards the man on the floor.

“Of course not. I was just about to say that we should grab him together and get out of here.”

Just then, steps start being heard from the corridor, making the couple turn their heads at the door.

“Shit, they’re coming this way. What do we do?” Emilia looks at Chan with panic in her eyes.

“Two minutes. Guys, we’re getting worried. Everyone’s here except for the three of you in Team 1.”

“Coming out now, Sky. We have to jump from the first floor.” Chris touches his earpiece and speaks hastily.

“What?!”

“Make sure you come get us. San’s hurt.”

Emilia helps Chan lift San’s body up. They are still not sure whether he’s dead or alive, but it doesn’t matter. Even if she had to drag his lifeless body out, she would. There’s no way in hell she’s leaving him here to die with these bastards.

“We jump at 3, okay? 1, 2…” Just then, the door opens, and Chris turns back and smirks before the three of them jump out the window.

“One minute! Are you out?!”

“Yes, come help us, fuck.”

A black van pulls right next to the mansion, and Wooyoung and Jisung run out, helping the three of them inside. They start driving away immediately, before the other guards have time to gather outside.

“Thank God you’re back, the place will blow up in 20 seconds.” Jisung speaks.

“Are you hurt?” Chris grabs Emilia’s hand to get her attention, as she was anxiously looking over at Wooyoung examining San.

“No,” she shakes her head, “my legs hurt a bit but I doubt it’s anything serious. You?”

“I’m good.”

“How’s San?” Emilia asks in panic, looking again at Wooyoung, who sighs with relief.

“No gunshots. Nothing too serious. Thank God. He’s just unconscious.”

“But there was so much blood…” She frowns.

“Nosebleed. He’s fine.”

“Do you think-” She starts again, but gets interrupted by a powerful explosion sound.

“Sky, connect me to Team 2 and Hyunjin.” Chris instructs Seungmin, who nods and follows the orders immediately.

“What is it, Boss?”

“Let’s meet up so Jeongin can come in this car and nurse San with Wooyoung. Hyunjin, I need your car.”

They do as commanded and meet up following a GPS point on the map that Seungmin set up. Chris grabs Emilia’s hand and pulls her with him in Hyunjin’s car, making him move to Team 2’s.

“Where are we going?” Emilia asks after putting on her seatbelt.

“Just up the hill. We need to watch the show after starting the fireworks, don’t we?” He smiles cunningly.

When they reach the top of the hill, they look at the mansion in the distance, now completely taken over by the flames.

“It’s finally over, hm?”

“Yeah. It’s all over. We did it.” Chris embraces her from the side and presses a kiss against her temple.

“So, no more threats for now.”

“If we don’t take into account the pain in my chest from that bullet, sure.” He puts his hand on his chest where the bullet hit the vest. “I think it’s bruised. It hurts.”

“I’ll have to kiss it extra hard tonight to make it better.” Emilia smirks, and Chris bursts out laughing.

“So… I guess we can now focus on a proper new beginning, hm?” He holds her hand, and she smiles.

“I guess so.” Emilia lifts his hand and kisses it, and then embraces him tightly. “We still have to pick out a kindergarten for Ivy.”

“Right! How could I forget?” Chris chuckles.

“Ugh, what will she even tell them when they ask her what we do for a living?”

“Hmm, mommy’s a stay-at-home mom, and daddy owns a business.”

“That does…?”

“Uhm… trades?” Chris tilts his head and Emilia starts laughing.

“Well, I guess it doesn’t really matter that much. As long as she doesn't find out about any of this, we’re good.”

Chris nods, looking fondly at Emilia.

Her eyes move from Chris to the burning mansion, as she presses her head against his chest.

“Watching the building you just set on fire burn does look pretty romantic though, doesn’t it?” He asks.

“Mhm. My favourite sight.” She raises on her toes and pecks his lips.

“Shall we go home now, my love?”

“What- just like that?” She asks, and Chris looks taken aback for a few seconds.

“What did you think was gonna happen?”

“I just… this would’ve been the perfect chance for you to-” She starts, then bites her tongue back and frowns.

“For me to what?” He asks amused.

“For you to- God! Nothing!” She turns around, annoyance in her tone.

“Emilia.” He chuckles and grabs her hand, making her turn around, and when she does, she notices a smug smile on his face.

“You shit eater!” She crosses her arms in front of her chest as he goes down on one knee.

“Marry me?” He pulls out a small box from one of his pockets and opens it, revealing a beautiful tear-shaped diamond ring nestled within a cradle of gold.

“Shut up.” She kneels down as well and hugs him tightly, then kisses his lips. “Where did you even keep this?”

“I might’ve switched those syringes for this box.” He confesses, averting his gaze.

“That’s dangerous and reckless!”

“No, what’s dangerous and reckless is you not answering my proposal! I’m a mafia boss, have you forgotten?” He chuckles, and she rolls her eyes. “Answer me or I’m not giving you the ring.”

“Oh my, what a threat! Fine.” She chuckles. “But only because of the ring. Yes. I’ll marry you. God!” She exclaims as if exasperated, and both start chuckling.

“I never really cared about marriage before, but it seems to work great for Minho and Iris.” Chris contemplates out loud.

“Well, we one-upped them by having a kid first, so…” Emilia shrugs, and they laugh again.

“I love you and our little family so much, Emilia.”

“I love you too, Chris.” She lets him place the ring on her finger, and then kisses him deeply. When she pulls back, his eyes sparkle with the red light coming from the mansion engulfed in flames.

“We should get going, our daughter is waiting for us at home” He smiles with fondness in his eyes.

“Mhm. Maybe we should stop by a hotel first, though…” She winks.

“I like how that sounds.” Chris grins, and they share another intimate kiss, overflowing with affection and love that fills not only their hearts, but their whole souls.

~The End~

---

(A/N) We have finally reached the end of this series. Thank you for reading 'The Black Iris and the Withered Rose'! Since the Mafia Series is currently done with this book, I wanted to go through its history for a little bit. It all started with a Oneshot titled "CB98" (basically the first chapter of 'The White Lily') that I posted on Wattpad in my Oneshots Book on the 22nd of July 2022, and I never intended it to be more than a simple oneshot. I changed my mind after a lot of positive feedback and started creating a story around it that took 10 months to complete.

(see how important the feedback you give authors is?)

Afterwards, I created 'The Black Iris and the Withered Rose', which took another 10 months to write. In total, the two stories have about 100k words, and I've spent more than 220 hours working on them during a period of about one year and a half. That's absolutely crazy, and I can't believe it's actually over now! Although this chapter marks the end of the second book in the Mafia Series, I left some loose threads to be able to come back to this universe with other characters in the future. I think it would be interesting to explore the past of all of the members, how each of them got in the Mafia, and also show their present and future. This is, however, something I haven't planned on yet, so I cannot say if it would really happen or not.

Do let me know if you'd like to read more stories in this Mafia Universe, though!  (again, I'm insisting on the importance of feedback. None of these two stories in the series would've ever happened if people wouldn't have messaged me to ask me to continue the story.) I hope you enjoyed this story, and I'm really grateful to everyone who liked, left comments, and went with me through this adventure.

I also hope I'll see all of you in my notifications again, and that you'll read my other stories, as a lot of time and effort goes behind each individual work. Thank you once more, stay healthy, and let's meet again in another story!

Yours truly, Storm

[etherealising]

well…🤭 honestly i’m pretty much dropping them as a whole i fear. i did a rewatch like a month or so ago and it hit me then (especially rewatching s2) but after watching that trailer for the third time it’s official. I think in the beginning i wanted sydcarmy sooo badly i was willing to overlook the red flags (and we all know how many there are 💀) but i just can’t do it anymore. while i still acknowledge the intimate moments they shared together i just view them as *pause for dramatic effect* platonic. they share a platonic intimacy that YES is stronger than whatever that was b/w camry and claire s2. but it still feels just that, platonic. i think we don’t see those kinds of dynamics enough. carol and daryl from twd are a great example i think (i’ll add a text i sent to a friend a while ago where i explain further). while i believe that syd and camry understand each other in a way that no one else can, i still think sydney deserves so much better than carmen. i think he uses and abuses her and that if people loved her like they say they do, they would want more for her. she can’t fix him y’all and neither can claire but honestly she can go ahead and take him off our hands if she wants to try so bad. she has dreams and ambitions that are greater than a romantic relationship with camry. we saw how her and richie stepped up and ran shit in the season 2 finale. he needs her and not the other way around. say they do get together. do we think those anger issues and erratic and abusive behaviors are just gonna cease to exist? that man needs therapy and years of it before he’d ever be good enough for her as a romantic partner. hell, he’s a shitty business partner! (and i’m not saying he needs to be a completely healed person to be worthy of love let’s be clear, syd need therapy too.) i say, introduce someone new for sydney! or just let her be, that’s also an option. but yeah i think i’m done. also i’m hoping the writers let her and marcus stay friends cause it’s giving little bro 😬. (just another example of a man mistaking a woman’s kindness for flirting let’s be real) she needs friends anyway and because what other ones does she have? (please don’t say camry, that man is not her friend 😭. they’re kinda like family atp. 🫣🤷🏾‍♀️ ) and marcus may need someone like sydney to talk to anyways if what i fear may happen, happens this season for him.

i tried so hard to respond to all of your points and then i started ranting but i hope this makes sense and in short i do find myself heavily agreeing with you.

bestie as soon as i saw the thesis you provided me with i knew i had to take some time to digest it and as much as it hurts dare i say…. i think i have to agree with you : (

i too was blinded by how badly i wanted sydcarmy to thrive and i think i was also fighting so hard against the way people in the fandom were trying to discount their “romance” because ayo is a black woman and they couldn’t fathom their favorite fictional white boy of the week lovin on someone who isn’t the “beauty standard” that i definitely overlooked just how toxic their whole situation is.

and you are so right it was so easy to get caught up with how badly i wanted them together and a series rewatch will definitely slap you in the face and let you know how blinded you were. now please don’t fight me but i think its def giving platonic/little bro from syd like homegirl is just trying to live out her dreams, but i def think carmy may look at her with a bit of a romantic undertone because of how you mentioned they understand each other and i think bc he feels like no one has really ever understood him including his own family that he finds himself drawn to syd, she pretty much validates his whole existence and challenges him instead of settling for the mediocrity that man constantly gives that in a way he has taken her platonic care and worry for him as something more. like he literally admitted he was a loner man doesn’t understand HOW to be friends especially not with women.

let me get on my soapbox real quick. you are absolutely 100% right syd deserves someone a thousand times better than carmy and i definitely want more for her, if i’m being honest i want her to leave the bear whenever she gets that chance but that’s a whole other convo. i can rant about claire and carmy for hours but i’m genuinely just so tired of them and i’m not looking forward to seeing their relationship this season whoops. to me it felt like carmy only began respecting syd after she came back and now he has this mindset that no matter how much vitriol he spews her way she’ll always be there for him and its like a crutch for him. what really sealed the deal for me is the whole take out episode from season one, did syd fuck up 100% yes and was carmy’s anger justified also yes but not to the extent that he went, every time i rewatch that scene of him throwing the sharpie in syd’s direction as she walks away i feel genuine disgust like yes i know the sharpie wasn’t working and that got him even more irritated but he could’ve thrown it in so many different directions and i’m not saying he purposely aimed to hit syd but rewatching that really just showed me how immature he is and how much growing he really does need. like if your next response to your own anger is to get violent and start throwing shit around you definitely need to work on yourself before trying to mess with someone else’s peace of mind.

if they were to get together it would not change carmy at all, getting involved romantically with someone does not change you as a person unless YOU WANT THAT CHANGE FOR YOURSELF! and what we’ve seen from carmy is that as much as he pushes everyone else to change and evolve it doesn’t seem to be something he can do for himself or thinks he’s capable of. and yes please keep syd and marcus as friends there is literally zero chemistry between those two regarding romance, like can we just let syd be the successful woman she wants to be and maybe offer her romance if she wants it.

also let me go back to the topic of change real quick just look how quick he was to attack richie while he was stuck in the walk-in, he was literally projecting his deep seeded insecurities onto richie while richie took the change carmy pushed on him like a fucking champ and got shit done with his bestie syd (these fics i’m writing for this man really got me defending richie)

i will end my nonsensical rant by saying this: no self-respecting person in this fandom would actually ever date carmy and i stand by that ten toes down. its very clear that he has his own behaviors he needs to work out and there is nothing wrong with that and that doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve love but that also doesn’t mean his partners should be subjected to the mental and emotional weight that would come with loving him, it would definitely get tiring fast. and to take it a step further if carmy wasn’t played by a white man the masses find attractive most everyone would definitely be singing a different tune in regards to him. (like please imagine the microagressive think pieces we would get every season if carmen berzatto was poc)

the carmen berzatto we know and see right now will always love self-sabotaging more than he could ever love anyone else.

[ivanttakethis]

In this edition of ALIEN STAGE Magazine, we have an exclusive interview with fashion model and Round 10 contestant, Tov!

With the start of supersized Season 39 of ALIEN STAGE right around the corner, Tov sat down with us for her first ever interview and opened up about her life and her thoughts on the upcoming competition.

————————————————————

1) What have you been up to since your graduation from the Anakt Garden? How has your life and routine changed since then?

Tov: I’m a model full time now for my guardian’s fashion house, Cassiopeia. Mostly photo shoots for print or billboards, but occasionally I have the opportunity to walk in shows. I also sing in lounges sometimes for vocal practice.

Thankfully, my daily life hasn’t changed too much since graduating. It’s been an easy transition.

I’ve even been able to reconnect with one of my friends from Anakt Garden, Himei. She’ll be competing in this season of ALIEN STAGE too, though we’re in different brackets.

2) Have you noticed a shift in the public’s perception of you since the season was announced?

Tov: Somewhat, yes. People outside of the fashion industry have started to recognize me. Not a whole lot, but a few. It’s a nice feeling when they wish me good luck.

3) How do you feel about the start of the new ALIEN STAGE season? Does being on Side B take some of the pressure off?

Tov: Yes and no.

Yes because it gives me the chance to rehearse and refine my performance without having to rush.

No because there are so many strong performers in Side A that it will be a big challenge to follow up.

4) If you had the opportunity to sing a duet with any competitor from this season, regardless of bracket, who would it be?

Tov: My first answer would be someone I was close to in Anakt Garden, but I think any of us would say that.

Aside from them, I’d like to sing with Azure. He has very nice tone and smooth vocals. I could see our singing styles working well together.

5) What do you think is your charm?

Tov: It’s hard to say from the inside looking out. I’ve been told that people find the stars in my irises charming. Though Cassio insists it’s my smile.

6) Is there anything that you think sets you apart from your competitors?

Tov: I would say my voice. It tends to be deeper and a little more soulful than people expect when they first see me. I believe it adds to my strong stage presence.

7) Speaking of your voice, some of your competitors learned to play instruments as well as sing in their formative years.

If you could go back and do your time at Anakt Garden over again, would you pick up an instrument as well?

Tov: Possibly. I wasn’t really drawn to any particular instrument at the time, but if I had a do over, maybe I would try learning to play the harp.

8) What are your recent interests?

Tov: I’ve always had a strong interest in the stars, but lately I have been learning more about different galaxies and deep space. Luckily there is a lot of information and research to read about, so I don’t see myself getting bored anytime soon.

9) Has your guardian been involved in your preparation for ALIEN STAGE?

Tov: Very much so. Cassio has designed all of my outfits themself and they’re all custom made to fit my frame. Each of them is one of a kind and I am grateful for the work they have done for me.

They’ve also asked that I accompany them to work over the course of the first bracket so I can learn how my round will go from a production standpoint.

10) How are you preparing for your performance with Minori?

Tov: The same way I would prepare to perform with any of my classmates. I will do my best because I know she will do her best. It’s how Anakt Garden taught us.

11) Speaking of Minori, what do you think of her?

Tov: I remember her being very energetic back in Anakt Garden. She was always running around during playtime. I couldn’t run like she could because of my heart condition, but I enjoyed watching her race our classmates. She always won. Athleticism was her gift, but she was also good academically as well. I admire her varied talents.

12) Do you think you can win?

Tov: I hope the stars will align for me, but it is ultimately up to the audience which of us shines brighter. I will place my fate in their hands.

13) If you won ALIEN STAGE, what would you do after?

Tov: I’m not thinking that far ahead yet. I prefer to focus on each round as it comes and perform to the best of my abilities.

14) Do you have anything to say to your opponent?

Tov: I’m glad we will get to sing together one last time.

Tune in to see Tov face off against Minori during Round 10 of ALIEN STAGE Season 39!

————————————————————

Thank you to @shakingparadigm for sharing their questions! I also added some of my own as well.

Minori belongs to @skyisjusthere / @minori-dash.

Himei belongs to @lookatmysillies.

Azure belongs to @azureitri.

[lilithblackwood]

Eat well, “WaN” readers who are in dire need for story content after a million years!

“Witches and Nobility” Incorrect Quotes #1

Danica: Eda...

Eda: Oh no, 'Eda' in b-flat.

Eda: You're disappointed.

—

Danica: Hey, you want some leftovers?

Luz: What's that?

Danica: You've never had leftovers???

Luz: No, because I'm not a quitter.

—

Danica: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Eda: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.

—

Danica: Hunter and I have the kind of easy chemistry where we finish each other's-

Hunter: Sentences.

Danica: Don't interrupt me.

—

Luz: I'm incredibly fast at math.

Danica: Alright, what's 30x17?

Luz: 47

Danica: That's not even close.

Luz: But it was fast.

—

Danica: I think I'm having a mid-life crisis.

Eda: You're 16 years old

Danica: I MIGHT DIE AT 30!

—

Danica: Okay, help me please!

Elora: Got two words for you.

Danica: I bet they won't be helpful.

Elora: Your problem.

Danica: I was right

—

King: If you had to choose between Dani and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose?

Eda: That depends, how much money are we taking about?

Danica: Eda!

King: 63 cents.

Eda: I'll take the money.

Danica: EDA!!

—

Danica: I trust Luz and Eda.

Hunter: You think they know what they're doing?

Danica: I wouldn't go that far.

—

Kaz: Heeeeey, look sis! There’s posters of me everywhere! I’m famous ~

Elora: …those are wanted posters.

Kaz: I’M FAMOUS

—

Danica: This is such a bad idea.

Luz: Then why are you coming along?

Danica: One of us needs to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

—

Danica, trying to cheer the group up: Things could be worse, you know!

Luz: How?

Danica: How what?

Luz: How could they be worse?

Danica: They couldn’t, I lied.

Luz:

—

Danica: Am I in trouble?

Hunter: Take a guess.

Danica: No?

Hunter: Take another guess.

—

Danica: In your opinion, what’s the height of stupidity?

Elora: *turning to Kaz* How tall are you?

[annesstardustchords]

The Devil’s Calling - Matt Murdock

CW: masturbation (f+m), phone sex, sort of established relationship, mentions of p in v and oral (f+m), dom Matt, pet names, edging

18+ MINORS DNI

my first official tumblr smut :) feels like a good upgrade from wattpad, especially writing about Matt considering the CHOKEHOLD he’s had me in recently.

DMs are always open for requests, so don’t hesitate to reach out!!

enjoy

It’d been two weeks of torture.

You’ve been at a cottage in the middle of nowhere for two weeks with just your family - including aunts and uncles - and you just couldn’t take it anymore. Yes, you love your family, but you’ve been living on your own for a year in the big city now, working for Nelson and Murdock. You’ve even got yourself a nice little apartment. You’ve tasted that freedom, so you didn’t love being treated like a child again. You also missed your friends, missed your apartment, and you especially missed your boyfriend, Matt. 

You hated everything about this stupid little “vacation.”

Being away from Matt was hard... The two of you hadn’t gone more than 2 days without sex in the 4 months you’d been together, so a whole week without him was… not easy.

Being lonely, missing matt- those are an understatement; irrevocably horny and desperate is probably a better way to explain it. Your family is constantly around so you haven’t even been able to take care of the growing pain in your lower belly on your own, and it’s eating away at you… and anyways, your hands don’t feel as good as Matts hands, mouth or dick.

You gulp then, remembering the feeling of him filling you up, his thumb on your clit as he fucked you hard. his little smirk when he heard your breathing intensify, and your heart skip a couple beats. the way he could merely listen and know when you were about to fall over the edge.

As you think about him -Matt- his big, strong hands holding your hips in place as he peppers kisses down your stomach all the way to your panties, you find your fingertips mimicking his mouth - slowly trailing a line down the soft skin of your tummy, almost insatiable as your touch reaches the hem of your panties. You slide a hand under the band, delicately feathering over your clit and down to your hole, and back up again. You take a shaky breath, trying to stay quiet once you begin rubbing small, light circles on your clit. 

Your other hand comes up to your chest, giving a small pinch to your nipple as your circles grow harsher on your throbbing bud. 

Your phone rings then, loudly disrupting your blissful state. It’s nearly three am, there’s no reason anyone should be calling, but you roll over anyways, thoroughly pissed off as you rid your body of pleasure and pick up the phone.

“Hello?” you question, impatience evident in your tone as you let out a deep sigh.

“Hey, sweetheart,” Matt’s voice rings from the other line, low and raspy as per usual.

“Oh, hi Matty. Sorry, you caught me off guard,” you chuckle, laying back down  and placing the phone on your chest once you’ve hit the speaker button.

“Sorry, love. didn’t mean to scare you. What’re you doing up so late? I didn’t think you’d pick up,” he laughs- the vibration of his laugh radiating from the speaker on your phone going straight to your cunt.

“Oh… uhm- just couldn’t sleep,” you lie, pressing your thighs together to relieve some pressure, “what’re you doing up so late?”

“You know- uh-“ 

“Matt, I swear to god, did you put on the suit again?” you sigh, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“I- uh-“ he stutters.

“Matt, you’re supposed to be resting. you took some pretty serious hits the other night.. and your hearing,” you blurt, taking a breath to calm yourself down, “you have to be careful, please, Matt. I’m worried about you.”

“Don’t be. You know i’m fully capable of taking care myself,” he assures you, a smile almost audible through the phone.

“I know, Matty… I just-“

“I’m sorry, baby. I won’t go out again until your home- Until I have you to stitch me up again.”

“You and I both know that’s not true,” you laugh, running a hand through your hair.

“Mhm, definitely not true. You wanna know what else isn’t true, though?” he asks almost playfully.

“What?” you smile.

“You telling me you couldn’t sleep,” he murmurs, voice lower than before.

“I- what?” you stammer.

 “I can hear your heart, darling. Either you just went on a jog at 3am in the middle of nowhere, or your pretty little fingers were in between your thighs.”

Your heart caught in your through then, silently cursing yourself forgetting just how good his hearing was.

“I…” you start to say.

“Uh-uh,” he tsks, “don’t let me stop you now, darling. I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

“Matty, I-“ you start, cheeks burning red with embarrassment.

“I want you to touch yourself,” he demands, resulting in an even bigger pool of wetness dripping onto the lace of your underwear, “and by the sound of it, you want that too.”

“No, I want you, matt. it’s been too long, and my family’s around and i just… need you… I don’t want my fingers, I want yours” you blurt, coming off more desperate than intended.

“Then let me help you, princess,” he breaths, “come one now, start with your chest.”

And so you did, gently caressing the apex where the harshness of your collarbones and the smooth flesh of your breasts met, letting your head lull to the side.

“Good, darling. Now, slowly make your way down to you panties. Not too fast, I’ll know if your touching yourself, and I’m not letting you do that just yet,” he says, slight shuffling going on in the background of the call.

“Wish it were you touching me,” you whine, careful passing over your belly button.

“Mh, me too,” he groans, “soon, my love. You reached your panties yet?”

“Mhm,” you smile.

“Good. Touch yourself on top of the fabric.”

“Im wearing the ones you like… the lace ones,” you tell him as featherlight touches pass by the dull ache at he top of your cunt.

“Always loved how they felt against your skin,” he mutters, “the lace in contrast to how soft you are… its perfect.”

“Fuck, Matt, please,” you sigh, the delicate touches no longer suffusing.

“What do you want, doll?” he chuckles.

“Want to touch myself,” you whine, begging for him to allow you too.

“Okay, baby. Take your panties off, hm?” he requests, urge and desire dripping from his tone.

You do as he requests, placing the phone on your tummy so he can hear the lace slipping down your thighs. That seems to do the trick, earning a small grunt from Matt.

“Mh- Start on your clit, darling- real slow for me, yeah?” he breaths, each breath he takes becoming more exasperated.

You gasp a little when the cool touch of your fingertips met your heat, rubbing dreadfully slow circles into your already sensitive nub from what you’d been doing before Matt called.

“Good girl,” Matt groans, obviously joining in on the fun, “a little faster now, princess.”

You listen again, speeding up your find here and tracing up your body to grab at your nipple.

“Hands off your chest,” he grumbles, more angsty than you’d expected him to be.

“No,” you whine, followed by a string of moans and whines.

“Now, Y/N. Hands off or I’m not gonna let you cum tonight.”

Your hand immediately left your chest, returning to the mattress as you squeeze at the fabric below it.

“Good girl,” he mumbles, “such a good little slut for me, hm?”

“Matty,” you whimper, circling faster.

“Use your words, sweetness. What do you want?” he teases.

“Want you to touch yourself with me,” you groan, “Want to hear you.”

“Not yet, doll,” he sighs, his self control hitting a low.

“Fuck,” you moan, “I’m so close.”

“Hands off,” he grumbles.

“But-”

“Now, y/n,” he demands, and you know better than to defy him, so you reluctantly stop your movements.

“Good,” he lets out a low laugh, “Now, I’ll let you cum if you do something for me.”

“Yes, yes, anything,” you promise, sexual frustration hitting its peak.

“Beg,” he growls.

“What?”

“Beg for it,” he says again, the sound of a zipper being undone making its way to your ears.

“Please, Matty,” you whine, “Please let me touch myself. I want to cum. Please let me cum- need to.”

“Good girl. Such a good girl,” he moans, “Fuuuuck.”

“Are you touching yourself, Matty?” you ask excitedly.

“Yes, baby- but I won’t last long. Touch yourself again for me, hm?” he whispers, barely audible beneath the pants he lets out.

You do as he says, returning your hand to your cunt and rubbing harsh, fast circles out of pure desperation. 

“That’s it, sweetheart. Love it when your heart beats like that- can tell you’re so close for me.”

“Fuck,” you moan, your other hand sliding inside yourself with two fingers, “I’m so wet, Matty. All for you.”

“That’s it, baby,” he whimpers, “Come on now, cum for me.”

You let yourself go, fast circles on your clit matching the slick, wet sounds of Matt’s actions on the other side of the phone.

“Matty, mmph, gonna-” you’re cut off by your orgasm crashing down over you for the first time in two weeks. The relief of it all being nearly too much to bear as your legs close around your hands.

“Fuuuck,” Matt drawls out as he finishes.

“That was-” you pant, “Perfect.

“Not as perfect as it will be once you’re home,” he breathlessly laughs.

“I think I’m going to fly home a couple days early,” you giggle, pulling up your panties.

“I think that’s a great idea,” he agrees, “Now get some sleep, baby. I’ll see you soon.”

“I love you, Matt.”

“I love you, too, darling.”

[sidebaxolotl]

I have a question for you if you wouldn’t mind answering. I’m a lesbian and I’ve been considering turning to religion and being side b, but my main question is why would God want me to suffer this much? Why would He let me date my girlfriend for 3 years, all of which has been blissfully happy and feels totally right and good, if He really wants me to give it all up and break both of our hearts? It doesn’t feel like sin to me. We didn’t even sleep with each other until we’d been together for a year because I found it very hard to get over my shame and they waited for me the entire time. Isn’t there that verse about the fruit something brings? Being a lesbian has brought nothing but joy into my life. In fact, the only suffering it’s caused me is when I used to try to be side b. I don’t see why God would want that for me if He allowed me to be made a lesbian.

And to be honest, it seems like most of the side b people I know struggle a lot with being side b, like it doesn’t come naturally to them. I wonder how you reconcile that difficulty and pain with believing that a good God would want this for you. You could make the argument that Satan wants you to suffer and is causing your temptation, but if that’s the case why doesn’t God just fix it, if He’s all powerful? Maybe He wants me to have free will, but I’ve asked Him countless times to make me straight so it’s not like I want to be gay.

Anyway, sorry for the rant. I just find this sort of thing really hard to wrap my head around, but I want there to be a good answer that I can hold on to.

Hey friend! To be honest I do understand where you're coming from. My relationship with my ex was one of the most wonderful things ive ever felt, and it did feel right and very good, unlike a lot of the sin in my life. Even now I struggle sometimes to reconcile that and I know if things hadn't ended so badly I'd be in your situation right now. I also prayed many times that God would make me straight (and for a while I thought it worked lmao). For a long time after The Breakup I struggled really hard with what to do, i was struggling with lesbian erotica/fandom content, wondering what to do with my faith, wondering if I should force myself to marry a man, crying out to God to curse Him or blame Him for my situation, for taking her away from me, etc. I fell into a very deep depression and was very close to unaliving myself over it (and other things). I had to go on medication for an extended period of time because I did not want to live. It was a really rough time in my life and I'm glad despite all the things that I said and did out of grief that I made it out of that period of my life with my relationship to God in tact. Letting go of sin, particularly sexuality related sin can be really hard because sin doesn't always feel bad. A lot of sin does and has immediate consequences, which makes it particularly easy to avoid/stop doing but a lot of it doesn't. We live in a world where sin has permeated the deepest reaches of our universe and our own bodies. Our own judgement apart from Christ cannot always be trusted:

"The heart is deceitful above all things,     and desperately sick;     who can understand it?" Jeremiah 17:9

So it might not feel bad or wrong(it still doesn't feel that way to me personally), but we know God is objectively good and knows what is best, so if He says its bad, then its bad. There are reasons for this, but that's beyond the scope of this post so maybe another time. What I will also say though, is that the Christian life is hard in general and suffering is guaranteed. The apostles suffered--many of them endured gruesome deaths for the sake of the gospel, and even Jesus, the author and sustainer of our faith was abandoned by his friends and made to unjustly die on a cross with common criminals. If the son of God, the prince of peace, could not escape this fate then neither will we. This particular passage comes to mind:

"But if when you do good and suffer for it you endure, this is a gracious thing in the sight of God. For to this you have been called, because Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example, so that you might follow in his steps" 1 Peter 2

The thing about Christian suffering is that none of it is meaningless. Because of God's grace and mercy He can use something that was never meant to exist (suffering and pain) and use it to bring us closer to Him and help build us into the people we should be, emulating God's character and love. These are some verses about suffering in regards to faith that I've found particularly helpful or enlightening:

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal" 2 Cor 4:16-18 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything" James 1:2-4

And as Christians we know for sure our suffering is not eternal. When we shed this mortal coil we will never feel the sting of sin ever again. And when the New heavens and the New earth are brought to fruition we will experience life as it always was supposed to be. And even now my life isn't just suffering. I'm doing very well now. I'm no longer depressed, I'm off medication (with doctor approval). I genuinely love my life. I'm super satisfied with being single, i freaking love it honestly lol. And my relationship with God is stronger than its ever been. Being side b isn't always easy but it really is not a death sentence devoid of happiness either!

[luvvyd0vey]

Fanfiction has absolutely ruined traditional books for me in the best and worst ways possible;

It’s made my expectations of the pace and amount of dopamine I should get from each and every scene skyrocket

It’s made me grow addicted to basically being able to find the exact very specific concept I crave at any moment because all I have to do on websites like Ao3 is put in the pairing or fandom and the tags I want and I can scroll however long I want until I find something that really peaks my interest, especially cause I have the luxury of passing by fics that don’t grab my attention and run away with it

Not only that but the long wait you have after hearing about a book and having to order it into your local library which could take weeks and so either a) the anticipation is building and so you either thoroughly enjoy the book or are greatly disappointed or b) by the time you get the book you are much less enthralled about it and instead of being really into it and are really just reading it for the fact you had to wait so long for it - but with fanfiction as soon as you read the tags and summary (not only can you see the amount of views, likes, comments, words and chapters) the excitement is already there and you are hit with rush after rush of dopamine.

And if the fic turns out to be disappointing or unfinished, it’s quite likely you can find a very similar fic to fulfil your needs almost immediately so you don’t stay disappointed for long.

And you get to directly interact with the fic writer which on its own I love.

Fanfic writers always have just so much love for their fic and you can often see that in their work, which with a lot of traditional writers it seems like they are dragging themselves to finish it off.

And it’s super easy to get into a fic whether or not you’re in a fandom as often you don’t really need much knowledge on the cannon material, but if you do and loved it then that strong emotional connection to characters is prebuilt, whilst with traditional writers they have to build that up which is where a lot of books fall flat, whereas if a fic writer made the same mistake then it’s okay because you already know the character from the original material.

The most mid quality fanfics often beat what I would consider 4 star books.

Also when I first discovered fanfic just so happened to be the time I was going through my first book slump (which then lasted 7 years) and I don’t know if the rush I got from fic only encouraged my book slump or if it would have lasted this long anyway, but it definitely raised my expectations and made slow-starting books difficult to bring myself to open.

Also a lot of my favourite writing concepts are things entirely found in fanfiction or just little stories/oneshots I read here on tumblr and NEVER in official published books. And if there ARE hints of them in traditional books they are usually minimal and badly written, and/or almost completely ignored in favour of smut.

And that goes onto my next point which is in fics, I know what I’m getting into before I even click on it; I’m immediately shown what type of content I’m about to consume (as in rating, the pairing(s), if there’s smut or hurt/comfort or what) whereas with books I often have to really dig to find out what sort of content is in it without buying the book and seeing the content warnings on the first few pages, which is an issue if you are trying to avoid a smut scene which was in no way hinted at in the blurb.

My main reason to try get back into traditional books is reading new content with new characters, be able to talk about it with my family (without having to explain the concept of fanfiction), and maybe possibly to put on display in my home.

But as I’ve been picking up books to read, I’m realising how much fanfic has raised my expectations for writing and having the best pick for whatever storyline I’d like and have come to the conclusion it has honestly ruined me, and possibly my attention span.

I don’t know

I’ll probably post several more-coherent posts about this later but for now enjoy my raw thoughts.