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gotham-ruaidh · 7 months ago

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Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) || Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14b (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14c (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 15a (Dreams) || Chapter 15b (I Sing A Song of Love) || Chapter 15c (You Can Do This If You Try) || Chapter 16 (Let That Feeling Grab You Deep Inside || Chapter 17A: Never Tear Us Apart || Chapter 17B: It’s Tough To Be Somebody, And It’s Hard Not To Fall Apart || Chapter 17C: I’m Wishing, Lord, That I Was Stoned || Chapter 18: Turn The Page || Chapter 19A: When You’re Alone, Do You Let Go? || Chapter 19B: Heading For A Spin || Chapter 20A: I Don’t Need Nothing When I’m By Your Side || Chapter 20B: I’m Walkin’ Down This Rocky Road || Chapter 20C: You’re The Only One Who Gets Through To Me || Chapter 20D: Together We Can Make It A Dream || Chapter 20E: My Main Objective Is To Get You To Turn Your Mind Around ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 20F: Heaven Isn't Too Far Away

I don't need to be a superman

As long as you will always be my biggest fan…

-- “Heaven,” Warrant (1989) [click here to listen]

North Carolina || March 1989

“I’m sorry that I’ll miss you in L.A., but I’m really glad you’re going out there. for the rehearsals. Especially since you won’t be making it to Europe.”

Jenny Fraser Murray sighed into the phone. “I’m torn, Claire. On the one hand I’ll be so happy to have a few days away from the kids – Ian’s mom is a godsend. But on the other hand I don’t want to be away from them for even a minute.”

“Ian will be happy to have you to himself, though.”

Claire heard Jenny smile through the phone. “He said it will be like old times. When we were dating, and we’d sneak off behind the amps to make out before a gig.” She paused. “Something you and my brother probably do all the time now.”

Claire smiled. “When we’re together, yeah.”

“I was really surprised when Jamie told me you weren’t going out to L.A. Is this the longest you’ve been apart?”

“Yeah.” Claire twirled the long telephone cord around her wrist. “I’m not going to lie, Jenny, it’s been incredibly hard to be away from him for so long. But at the same time, it’s been really helpful.”

“How so?”

“Just…it gets intense with him. And as much as I love him, and as much as I know he loves me, we both needed the time to breathe.”

“I hear you. So what have you been up to this week?”

Claire leaned back in her chair. “There’s a clinic in town – I got in touch with them right after we moved in, and I’ve been going in every day to volunteer. Just a few hours, helping out with some of the walk-in patients. Cuts, burns, broken bones – lighter stuff.”

“Sorry. One sec.” Jenny’s voice was muffled over the phone, but Claire could still understand the words Maggie and share and your brother. Clearly the Murray kids were giving their mom a run for her money today.

“That sounds like fun, Claire. Or your idea of fun, anyway.”

“It feels so good to be a doctor again, Jenny. It’s a far cry from surgery, but – ”

“But it’s something. Something you’re good at, that you enjoy. And it’s something that’s all yours.”

“Exactly. When we get back from Europe, I want to do something more permanent at the clinic. I spoke to the woman who runs it – they’re definitely open to it. I told them everything about my past, and my license – they’re willing to work with me.”

“That’s awesome.” The line clicked. “Ah – Claire, I’ve been waiting for Ian all morning. This is probably him. I’ll call you later, OK?”

“OK. Say hello to him and the kids for me. Talk you soon.”

“Take care of yourself, sister.”

Jenny hung up.

Claire glowed a bit. Glanced up at the clock on the wall, and crossed the kitchen to make some tea.

Ten minutes later, snug on the couch that was one of the only pieces of furniture Jamie had shipped from his old house in LA, Claire dialed a 212 number on the touch-tone phone, set the receiver on the arm of the couch, and pressed the speakerphone button.

“Dr. Germain’s office. Jeanne speaking.”

“Hi Jeanne – it’s Claire.”

“Hello, Claire! Right on time, as always. I’ll transfer you over.”

A few clicks on the line, and then –

“Good afternoon, Claire!” Raymond’s voice boomed through the telephone. “Did you make it to the clinic after we spoke this morning?”

“I did!” She sipped her tea, tucking bare feet under her folded legs. “Three hours have never flown by so fast.”

“That’s wonderful. Are you still open to what I suggested in our session this morning?”

“I am. He’s not on yet, is he?”

This was the second week that Jamie, Claire, and Raymond had held their daily sessions – via telephone while Claire was home in North Carolina, Jamie was with the band in Los Angeles, and Raymond at his office in New York. Raymond had recommended they start meeting during Jamie and Claire’s time away from each other – and to help them all get comfortable working together before the Europe tour kicked off in a few weeks.

Speaking over the telephone was not as ideal as being in person – but it helped them all get into the new routine. Raymond met individually with Jamie and Claire each morning, followed by a group session in the afternoon. Claire and Jamie spoke with each other outside of their time with Raymond, of course – Claire called Jamie’s hotel room as his wake up call every morning, he spoke with her before bed every night – but the conversations with Raymond were different. Focusing on topics that were deeper than Jamie telling Claire about rehearsals or meetings with the label, and Claire telling Jamie about a patient’s antics at the clinic or how she had finally gotten around to staining the bedside table they’d picked up at a garage sale.

Raymond had approached working together in a very pragmatic way. He struck a balance between getting to know one another and probing deeper on certain topics – after all, there were many things that Jamie and Claire still didn’t know about each other. But there was no timetable – Raymond insisted they work at their own pace, because the real work would happen once they were in Europe.

Claire and Jamie actually looked forward to their time with Raymond. It helped them focus on themselves, and on each other, in a new and refreshing way. It bridged the thousands of miles between them, during their time away from each other. And having that separation – together with the telephone, and not needing to look at each other to speak – was indeed a good opportunity to explore some topics.

“I’m here. Hi, Claire.”

“Jamie,” she smiled. “Where are you?”

“I’m at the label’s office. Colum dragged me here to meet with the suits. I said yes, as long as I could get lunch delivered and an office for an hour. So excuse me if you hear some chewing.”

“What’s for lunch?” Raymond’s voice crackled through the line.

“In-N-Out. My favorite, a double double with a chocolate shake. Claire, the more I’m here, the more I don’t miss being in L.A. But this…this I miss.”

“Well, as your doctor,” she teased, “I’m also grateful for your arteries that we don’t eat that kind of food at home.”

Jamie snorted. “So what did you do at the clinic today?”

“Splinted a broken thumb and stitched up a gash on a little boy’s head.”

“You sound like you’re smiling. I love that it makes you happy, but I’ll never understand why.”

“If I may,” Raymond interjected, “there’s a little more to it than making Claire happy. She and I explored that this morning.”

“Yeah.” Claire sipped her tea. “You’re right, Jamie – it does make me happy. It makes me happy because I enjoy doing it. But more than that, it gives me a sense of purpose. I’m helping people, I’m making a difference.”

“And?” Raymond prodded gently.

Claire pursed her lips. “And, it’s something that’s only mine.”

The line was silent for a long moment.

“Jamie?” she asked gently.

“You mean, something that’s separate from our life together, Claire?”

“Jamie,” Raymond responded, “if you’re thinking that this is something meant to replace you, or any aspect of your relationship…trust me when I say it’s not. When Claire and I spoke about this earlier today, she made it clear that that’s certainly not the case. It’s a way for her to build her own identity, as Dr. Claire Fraser. Because she’s left behind who Dr. Claire Beauchamp was – the surgeon and pill addict. And she’s also built an identity as Claire Fraser – wife to Jamie Fraser.”

“And I love being Claire Fraser, Jamie. I do. God, I wish I could hold your hand right now.” She sighed. “But I need to find out who Dr. Claire Fraser is. In my time at the clinic, I’ve started doing that. And I’m still tied to you. I wear your letter and your ring on my hand, and your name on my driver’s license and my heart. This is…just…more than all of that. There’s room for more.”

Still Jamie remained silent. Claire’s heart began to race.

But Raymond let the silence stretch.

“Jamie…” he finally interjected after a while. “Do you want Claire to keep exploring this side of who she is? Who she could be?”

“Of course,” Jamie replied instantly. “I want nothing more than for Claire to be happy, and for her to be who she’s meant to be. She’s meant to be a doctor. She’s known that since she was a little girl, and that’s so awesome she knows that about herself. I still don’t know who I want to be.” He paused, chewing. “And I know that she’s also meant to be with me, to be my wife. That’s another part of who she is. Am I right, Claire? I’m not off base?”

“You’re right,” she said softly.

“OK. So – I know that she’s a doctor, and she’s my wife. I also know that there’s a huge part of her, that she hasn’t been able to grow for the entire time we’ve known each other. We’ve focused so much on our…our love, and our sobriety, and my music. But now I see that that’s been at the expense of other things. Like, her being a doctor. And I honestly feel kind of terrible that while I’ve been recording new music and touring and performing and dealing with my own shit, that’s all taken over and hasn’t given her the space to explore and grow.”

“That’s one way to look at it, Jamie.” Raymond’s voice was so focused, and Claire pictured him scribbling in his notebook. “But you can’t beat yourself up over it. Does what Jamie said, resonate with you, Claire?”

She rested her head on her arms, folded on the arm of the couch. “It does and it doesn’t, Raymond. Yes, I stepped away from medicine while I was getting clean, and then it was more important to me to figure out how to be with Jamie, and then get used to life on the road, and focus on my marriage. So I decided to push medicine to the background. To support Jamie in the way he needed, the last tour. I made that choice. Jamie didn’t force it on me – I would have said something if it wasn’t what I wanted. And now, I’m choosing to grow this side of myself again.”

“I don’t ever want you to think that I don’t support anything you want to do, Claire,” Jamie said softly.

“I don’t ever even think of that, Jamie. And if I did, I’d tell you.”

“I hope you would. I wouldn’t ever want that to be a misunderstanding between us. I will support whatever you want to do, you know that, right?”

“That’s a good segue way,” Raymond spoke softly.

Claire cleared her throat. “I’m glad you’re with Colum today, Jamie, because I’d like you to ask him something for me, for the tour.”

“Okay…he already agreed to have a doctor on standby, you know. If we get pregnant.”

“I know. I love that you did that for us, Jamie. But this is something new. When we’re in Europe, I’d like to find a way to volunteer at local clinics wherever we are. To spend time doing that in every city. I know that it won’t always be possible, of course – but I want to give back, when I’m on the road. I don’t want to just stop when we leave North Carolina – I want to keep going. I want to keep exploring this side of myself. And I know that everywhere we go, there will be people who need my help.”

“I would love for you to do that, Claire.” She could see him grinning. “God I wish I could hold you right now, so tight. I want you to do this. This is fucking awesome.”

She swallowed. “I miss you so much, Jamie. I love you, and I love being with you, and I can’t wait to be with you on tour. But I need to have something consistent that’s my own. I can’t be with you all of the time. And this helps me to do that.”

“Fuck yeah. I want this for you. Think of how cool it will be.”

“Yeah!” she grinned ear to ear. “And even if I’m pregnant, I can still do it. For a time, anyway.”

“I’ll speak to Colum about it today. The label or the local promoters have got to have connections. And I don’t want there to be any publicity. I don’t want people to think you’re doing this for the PR.”

“And you’d be OK, Jamie, with Claire being away from you during the day?”

“Yeah, Doc. Um…being here in LA without her, I’m more comfortable saying that now.”

“Versus before you left?”

“Yeah. I – Claire, I love you so much, but we were spending too much time together. It was…suffocating.” He paused, clearly uncomfortable with silence on the line. “Baby, talk to me. Fuck, I hate that I can’t see you. Talk to me. Does that make sense to you, what I said?”

“Yeah.” She sighed. “I get it, Jamie. I love you so much. I want to be with you all the time, but it’s not healthy.”

“Raymond, does that make sense?” Jamie’s voice was rushed, almost panicked. “Am I making sense? That I want to be with Claire all the time but I know that’s not a good thing?”

“It does, Jamie, and you are. You didn’t mention this to me before – is this something you’re only realizing now, in this conversation?”

“Umm…yes and no. I mean, I miss Claire so much right now that it actually hurts. But it’s been so fucking great to be here with the band. Angus’ girlfriends are out of town, so we’ve been spending a lot of time together, just me and Ian and Angus. And Colum, too. It’s been so much fun. I’ve been so busy. Almost too busy to think of anything else.”

“So – those fears we talked about during my visit. That without Claire beside you, you’d somehow fall back into addiction. That you needed her as your anchor, your constant reminder to stay sober. Do you still feel that way?”

“A little bit. But it’s not a big fear front and center every moment of the day. I mean, it sucks to come back to an empty hotel room, and it’s hard for me to sleep alone, but I know that’s temporary. And, I know that on the Europe tour I’ll be very busy during the day, probably more than I was the last tour. So even if Claire was with me all those hours, it’s not like I could really do anything with her during that time. I’ll be busy, and it’s not fair to her to just sit around without me. She can use that time more productively. Like volunteering at local clinics.”

“Good. I know that it was really difficult for you to fly out there on your own, and I’m glad you called me before you left for the trip, too, because I think we’ll all agree that you staved off a panic attack by doing that. But now that you’re there, do you understand why I had recommended you spend some time apart?”

“Yeah. Claire, did you understand from the beginning?”

“I did. But that doesn’t matter, Jamie. What matters now is that you understand. And that we have a new plan for Europe.”

“I love you so fucking much, Claire. I need you, baby. I can’t wait to see you again.”

She blew a kiss through the phone.

Jamie coughed. “Um, Claire? I need to tell you something.”

“Are you all right?” Raymond cautiously asked, after about thirty seconds of silence on the line.

“Um…yeah. I got another tattoo.”

“O..kay…” Claire replied.

“Was this planned, or impulse?” Raymond asked gently.

“Um…I’ve been thinking about it for a while, and I knew what I wanted, but I decided a bit last minute.”

“I see.” Claire spoke slowly. “What is it, and where is it?”

“It’s the outline of the state of North Carolina. On my left arm.”

Claire couldn’t help but smile. “Where? In that space between the koi fish and your mom’s name?”

Raymond chuckled. “The two of you, I swear.”

Jamie laughed. Free. “Yeah, Claire. I don’t even want to know how you guessed that.”

“What can I say,” she laughed. “The perks of being a rock star’s personal physician.”

#outlander #outlander fanfic #jamie and claire #little bit better than i used to be

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owlyjules · 7 months ago

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what kind of brushes do you use for your digital work?

Hi! Firstly I work Mainly in Procreate so I will just talk about those brushes.

There I use a bit of everything!

So I love the defaults brushes procreate has and use them a LOT. Especially the 6B Sketching pen and the inking dry pen! (Default Chalk brush in Calligraphy and Bonobo Chalk Brush in Sketching as well!) Then for more texture I use a lot of brushes from @maxulichney Gouache and Watercolor Max pack! oh! And I recently too started using some brushes From Olguioo! https://olguioo.carrd.co/ And of course I have a few brushes I made myself that are always good.

But really I recommend playing around with brush sets and packs one at a time. Its easy to get overwhelmed by brushed and what they can do believe me! Start by trying to narrow down what kind of effect you are looking for in your art! Its is for lines? is it texture? is it blending? then you can experiment and find the right brush you need! All in all I use mostly maybe 6 to 10 brushes for 99% of my work. And I have maybe 100 (150?) on my ipad.

Just find the ones that work for you!:)

Hope this helps!

#the ghosts are asking #but really to find the brush you like #its a lot of playing around.#dont try to have TOO many brushes or you might get overwhelmed #i get overwhelmed #need to clean up some brushes so I have less

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amustikas · 1 year ago

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hi!!! <3 I love your art so much <3 your style is soo good, especially your coloring, it's so pleasant to look at <3 also, mind if I ask what kind of software and brushes do you use? The texture of the sketches, lineart etc. look so nice and I was wondering if there's something like that it Photoshop. Have a great day! <3

Hello!! Thank you for your sweet words!! <3

I work on procreate and mostly just use these two basic ah default brushes. I am sure photoshop equivalents exist for both of them out there somewhere!

And since I work a lot with these two I thought I would give ya some extra insight into how exactly I put them to use :)

The 6B Pencil brush has got to be my all time favourite brush and I use it for literally everything!

From rough sketches..

to lineart..

to colouring and details.

This brush is quite pressure sensitive, so you can achieve many different variations of size in one stroke by changing the amount of pressure you apply by hand. Through it all, it maintains it's relatively rectangular shape and brings with it soft grain like texture.

Come to think of it, I think I drew this whole next piece with only the 6B Pencil, start to finish. I think it really goes to show that in the end, it's not really about what brushes or software you use, but about how you make them work for you and how much fun you have while creating. I find that the drawings I have the most fun with end up being my favourites in the long run.

And to me, the 6B is just a damn fun brush to use!

It is perfect for adding silly little shapes and lines all over the place :)

And the other brush I find myself coming back to is Salamanca from the Painting category.

I use it for filling in bigger areas of colour and just colour blocking in general. I like it's subtle canvas texture and the fact that it is not entirely opaque by default, which allows for interesting variations of hues.

But that is not all! I like to size it down to use it to add details and colour to my portraits. I find that it's softness works really well on faces and it's transparency makes it easier to bring in variations of colour.

And would you look at that! More shapes and lines! It's really all I know how to do haha

At the end of the day, I try to just enjoy the process of drawing as much as I can :)

I find that young digital artists often put a lot of emphasis onto finding the correct drawing software and brushes. And while that is important, I find that it is equally as important to throw caution to the wind sometimes and to just try out new things and to not care so much.

I mean hell, people create masterpieces in MS Paint!

My drawing process usually boils down to simply trying to ensure art stays something fun for me, and these two brushes have helped me achieve that over the years.

Hope this has been some help and not all pure gibberish!

#my asks #art tutorial #drawing tips #just a lil something #:3

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johanna-swann · 2 months ago

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I'm sorry, I just can't stop wondering what the hell happened to 911. It was never highbrow art, but it was genuinely entertaining and enjoyable. And people keep saying it's been going down hill since season 4, but season 8 has hit an entirely new low. They're really limbo-dancing with the devil at this point.

I mean. I wasn't a big fan of the season 5 opening disaster or the ppd arc, the season sure had its ups and downs. But they also did something interesting with Eddie for once, I am always a Taylor Kelly stan first and a 911 fan second so I enjoyed having her there, the story around Jonah was maybe a little far fetched but still fun, we had May at dispatch wihch I LOVED, Michael and David were still around and the season finale was pretty decent.

Season 6 also had a relatively strong first half. Once again not a big fan of the opening disaster, but Hen's med school storyline was still going strong at first, we got that Henren begins episode, we learned more about Athena's family and childhood (including conflict between Bathena and Beatrice), Madney was house-hunting and then we had the lightning strike and its aftermath of course. So most of the protagonists had stuff going on that we hadn't seen x times before.

After that... well. There was no reason to push Buck back into dating so soon after he had just learnt that being himself and by himself could also be enough. For Eddie it sort of made sense at this point? But it still felt like he wasn't dating because it's what he wanted, he did it because it was expected of him. Madney getting engaged was somewhat predictable though I would've also loved it if they hadn't done that. Lots of families with children and a house are happy without the parents ever getting married. And the finale in season 6 was really bad. Very underwhelming, very rushed.

But at least 6b had an excuse? The show was about to be cancelled. At the time those scripts were being written they probably didn't know yet that there'd be a season 7. And then season 7 had even more excuses why it was, well. Like that. (Network change, multiple strikes, the showrunner changed, a drastically shortened season, etc.) I can forgive a lot under those circumstances.

Season 8 though? Season 8 had it all. They had their og showrunner back and he had already had time to find his bearings. They knew about the renewal very early this time, so they had a lot of time to prepare. There were no more huge strikes. They got a full length season again. The network wasn't new anymore. Despite season 7 being a bit of a clusterfuck, they did manage to set up a few storylines to explore further in season 8. Everything was lining up perfectly!

And then they completely dropped the ball. I already went into detail post-8x06 on a different post, I didn't even watch 8x07 in full because it sounded rather boring (and police brutality heavy). Then they gave us a mid-season finale that was centered around an irrelevant comic relief side character who most people found annoying or boring. On the side we had another Athena B plot that had nothing to do with the rest of the episode and didn't influence any of the main characters in any way. Eddie announced that he might consider moving to Texas which for now doesn't mean anything, nothing else of importance happened. And that was the mid-season finale! Like. Guys. The episode wasn't horrible, but for your "great fall finale"?

And Eddie STILL hasn't put even a little bit of work into processing his trauma around Shannon's death. He was told once by a stranger that he deserves nice things and that fixed him? He's ready to confront the conflict between him and Christopher now? Yeah, sure Jan.

Maddie is attacked in her home and gets abducted by a violent and dangerous criminal who has the intention to murder her? Wonder where I've seen that before. Oh right, it was on the same show and it happened to the same character. Cool. Glad to see I won't miss anything new when I don't watch 8b next year.

It's not even funny anymore and I sure hope they have a reason for this and they haven't just lost all their braincells over the summer hiatus. But we won't know if any of the conspiracy theories about impending cancellations or main cast members leaving are correct until sometime next spring.

#911 abc #911 spoilers #911 critical #rant #eddie diaz #maddie buckley #maddie han

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blakbonnet · 7 months ago

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ARTIST OF THE WEEK @midearthlingart ✨

This week's AOTW is Laz aka midearthling, and any AOTW event intending to bring classic ofmd art back into circulation would be incomplete without them <3 She agreed to answer a few questions for me and shared some great tips for beginners:

- Which do you use to draw (app/digital or traditional)?

I think everything posted here is digital, done mainly on Procreate, although I have started using Art Studio Pro more recently and I really like it (also an iPad app but available on other machines afaik!). I do like to doodle and do studies in my sketchbook though, I think it's good to keep me sharp and for a change of pace! And sometimes ideas come easier that way. But any completed pieces tend to be digital.

- Fave brushes/pencils/mediums (links/screenshots?)

On procreate I'm partial to using jingsketch basic’s flat brush, it’s so versatile for sketching and painting! Other brushes in my regular rotation are the default chalk and 6b brushes from procreate. I also have a soft ‘photoshop’ brush that I use to flat in colours, and a round brush I downloaded that I often use for sketching too; unfortunately I can’t remember where I got either of those ones but I’m pretty sure they were free! Sometimes I use random texture brushes, and the default watercolours in procreate.

- Your favourite piece you've drawn?

I go through phases of really loving some pieces and then hating them again (I often dislike my own art!) One of the best things I ever drew is a very nsfw comic so I unfortunately can’t share it on tumblr lmao. But in its stead, I think this and this have a special place in my heart.

- Who's harder to draw: Ed or Stede?

Honestly it just depends on the day! Both can be difficult to capture for different reasons; oddly I think for me I don’t have Ed’s face pinned down as much as I do with Stede’s. I’ve drawn them so much at this point I can bang them out without reference most of the time, but every now and again I’ll have a difficult angle and need to reference again! Stede’s nose is my absolute favourite to draw though.

- One essential tip for beginner artists?

Keep going! References and 3D models are your friend! It’s okay to make studies of other people’s works in order to learn (just don’t share and try to pass it off as your own!) Tracing photos to learn is also fine too, these are all just tools to help you hone your skill.

- Why OFMD? 🥹

It did something to my brain! I remember watching it back in March 2022 when there were only 6 episodes out at the time, I binged in one go and then the very next day watched all of them again. It just felt so cosy! I watched initially when I heard about it because I already loved Rhys and Taika’s works so needless to say it was hook, line and sinker from me from the start—I did not stand a chance! When it turned out to be a queer, middle-aged love story I knew it would be special to me forever.

#aotw #artist of the week #midearthlingart #please go and follow them and show some love

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polivias · 7 months ago

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A few years ago (*cough* at least a decade ago at this point), I made a proper "tags" page for this blog so people could look for specific Peter x Olivia things to their heart's content. But that was back when people mainly used their computers to go on tumblr, so I'm aware no one has seen the actual look/structure of this blog in a long time. So I created this pinned post with the tags to help you navigate this page :)

Peter x Olivia Tags

Touch and Comfort

Hugs

Kisses

Hands

Looks

With Etta

♥ (love)

Pain (literally, only painful stuff in this tag)

Past P/O events organized by this page

25 days of P/O

One Year Anniversary - The Little Show That Could

Wish Me Luck - A Story About Love

Back to the Start

Tags for each episode under the read-more!

SEASON 1

1.01 - Pilot

1.02 - The Same Old Story

1.03 - The Ghost Network

1.04 - The Arrival

1.05 - Power Hungry

1.06 - The Cure

1.07 - In Which We Meet Mr. Jones

1.08 - The Equation

1.09 - The Dreamscape

1.10 - Safe

1.11 - Bound

1.12 - The No-Brainer

1.13 - The Transformation

1.14 - Ability

1.15 - Inner Child

1.16 - Unleashed

1.17 - Bad Dreams

1.18 - Midnight

1.19 - The Road Not Taken

1.20 - There’s More Than One of Everything

BONUS EPISODE - Unearthed

SEASON 2

2.01 - A New Day in the Old Town

2.02 - Night of Desirable Objects

2.03 - Fracture

2.04 - Momentum Deferred

2.05 - Dream Logic

2.06 - Earthling

2.07 - Of Human Action

2.08 - August

2.09 - Snakehead

2.10 - Grey Matters

2.11 - Johari Window

2.12 - What Lies Below

2.13 - The Bishop Revival

2.14 - Jacksonville

2.15 - Peter

2.16 - Olivia. In the Lab. With the Revolver

2.17 - White Tulip

2.18 - The Man from the Other Side

2.19 - Brown Betty

2.20 - Northwest Passage

2.21 - Over There (Part 1)

2.22 - Over There (Part 2)

SEASON 3

3.01 - Olivia

3.02 - The Box

3.03 - The Plateau

3.04 - Do Shapeshifters Dream of Electric Sheep?

3.05 - Amber 31422

3.06 - 6955 kHz

3.07 - The Abducted

3.08 - Entrada

3.09 - Marionette

3.10 - The Firefly

3.11 - Reciprocity

3.12 - Concentrate and Ask Again

3.13 - Immortality

3.14 - 6B

3.15 - Subject 13

3.16 - Os

3.17 - Stowaway

3.18 - Bloodline

3.19 - Lysergic Acid Diethylamide

3.20 - 6:02 AM EST

3.21 - The Last Sam Weiss

3.22 - The Day We Died

SEASON 4

4.01 - Neither Here Nor There

4.02 - One Night in October

4.03 - Alone in the World

4.04 - Subject 9

4.05 - Novation

4.06 - And Those We’ve Left Behind

4.07 - Wallflower

4.08 - Back to Where You’ve Never Been

4.09 - Enemy of My Enemy

4.10 - Forced Perspective

4.11 - Making Angels

4.12 - Welcome to Westfield

4.13 - A Better Human Being

4.14 - The End of All Things

4.15 - A Short Story About Love

4.16 - Nothing As It Seems

4.17 - Everything in It’s Right Place

4.18 - The Consultant

4.19 - Letters of Transit

4.20 - Worlds Apart

4.21 - Brave New World (Part 1)

4.22 - Brave New World (Part 2)

SEASON 5

5.01 - Transilience Thought Unifier Model-11

5.02 - In Absentia

5.03 - The Recordist

5.04 - The Bullet That Saved The World

5.05 - An Origin Story

5.06 - Through the Looking Glass and What Walter Found There

5.07 - Five-Twenty-Ten

5.08 - The Human Kind

5.09 - Black Blotter

5.10 - Anomaly XB-6783746

5.11 - The Boy Must Live

5.12 - Liberty

5.13 - An Enemy of Fate

#Peter x Olivia #polivia #Olivia Dunham #Peter Bishop #fringe #pinned post #tags

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emostudent · 2 years ago

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TEEN WOLF BRAINROT

so, i've been rewatching teen wolf bc apparently netflix hates us europeans and it will be removed on may 31st and here are a few of my opinions TM

scott is actually a very good main character. listen, i got into this fandom when i was older, so i probably don't understand why there is this trend of hating scott, but he's a valid MC! he shows an example of positive masculinity that is honestly so refreshing to see in modern media: he's kind, compassionate, always optimistic but not stupidly so, has an amazing relationship with his mum AND his friends, he's not afraid to show emotions and cry. honestly a very healthy, albeit traumatised, young man. yes, he did stupid stuff for the girl he liked, and yes he misjudged a few situations, but please, remind me, how old is he supposed to be? 16? 17? 18? yeah. i did worse things at his age.

scott and stiles come from working class families!!! they have money problems!! it's honestly so refreshing to see teenagers discuss money in a supernatural/fantasy tv show. it doesn't usually happens and I've found it refreshing because it's something that usually happen between irl teenagers.

i don't get sterek. really, really don't. maybe it's bc i've watched the show through a gen z lens (meaning the media and the culture (read: THE INTERNET) when i watched the show were influenced more by gen z than millennials' values) but i really don't get it. and the age difference makes me uncomfortable. (same thing with parrish and lydia, SHE'S A MINOR DUDE, there's a reason people don't like cops istg) SOMEONE EXPLAIN STEREK TO ME PLEASE

in fics stiles and scott's personalities are often swapped: stiles is the caring one, the pack mum, scott is the one with homicidal tendencies. like, my dudes, the fact that scott is a GOOD person through and through is the reason he's a true alpha. also the reason we, as viewers, like stiles is bc he's sarcastic and more morally ambiguous than scott (not really, but you get it, he cares more about himself and his immediate friends, the others can die, scott instead want to save everyone period), it's like taking away the thing that makes stiles stiles

malia and stiles were SO cute, i didn't expect to like them so much, but when they broke up my heart shattered

stydia is everything i want in a ship and i will not accept any criticism on it, it's literally one of the only straight ships i like. you have the slowburn, the malewife x girlboss trope, the he fell first but she fell harder, the mutual pining. it literally checks all of my boxes

isaac was such a cool character and he and scott had an amazing dynamic, like come on, they had something going on between them

kira is a badass. that's it, that's the comment. i like her so much

derek's development is one of the best. i couldn't stand him in season 1, but in s4 he became one of my favourite characters. but i think this has more to do with the fact that they aged him up? he was supposed to be in his early 20s in s1, but then they aged him up in s3? well, anyway, i liked how he literally wised up, stepping into the role of a teacher and guide instead of a leader, it suits him so much better (and i'm sure it's less stressful)

peter is such a charmingly evil bastard. i hate him, but i love him at the same time.

thiam is the best ship in the show, i don't care if it's canon or not. i've read airplanes, it's canon to me

we would've liked (simped for) s5 theo more if he had the same haircut he had in 6b. he was just stupidly hot.

allison and lydia should've kissed and so malia and kira. give me my wlw couples.

#teen wolf #scott mcall #stiles stilinski #lydia martin #stydia #sterek #thiam #these are just my opinions lads #i don't care if you don't agree with me because these aren't facts #these are opinions #but if you were to respect my opinions that would be greatly appreciated #thanks

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syntaxevasion · 3 months ago

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holy FUCK that last post popped off like crazy <3 heres some more descryption stuff weve been working on

the (as of now) full lineup of menu cards, from left to right: story mode, rogue run, duels, puzzles, compendium (list of cards and sigils, explanation of game mechanics, or other important stuff), options, quit

hot new sexy trait displays for the gbc style

starter deck display screen, the last two being onyx and spells

rogue runs begin by having you sacrifice three of the five scrybes (refer to the last post), and the two remaining scrybes are the ones you've chosen to use their cards, nodes, bosses, in your run each scrybe has their own 8 starter decks which are all progressively unlocked a la kaycee mod - you can also see there's a second screen of decks to choose from

the scrybe of artistry galliard and his underlings: the scout, cartographer, and playwright he was once a pupil of magnificus but a difference of opinions caused the two to have a falling out, which is elaborated on in the story mode

some more artistry cards and full-art spells (full-arts will only display their sigils/stats when moused over so just imagine my cursor is over all 4 of them at once)

this one isn't actually descryption related, just some shitpost-y sprites or cards that didn't make the cut

...「78 71 66 20 6d 78 78 20 6f 64 71 6d 66 75 61 7a 20 6b 75 71 78 70 20 66 61 20 59 6b 20 6f 61 79 79 6d 7a 70 0a 78 71 66 20 6e 78 75 7a 70 75 7a 73 20 69 74 75 66 71 20 65 67 6e 65 67 79 71 20 6d 7a 70 20 6f 78 71 6d 7a 65 71 20 66 74 71 20 65 78 6d 66 71』...

again if you want to check out everything we have, the discord server link is https://discord.gg/TUPb3VBsAX (i figured how to hyperlink stuff properly this time :d)

#inscryption #pixel art #demake #descryption #game development #gamedev #pygame

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scottappreciation · 9 months ago

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Scott McCall Appreciation Week 2024 is Coming!

Get ready for this year’s Scott McCall Appreciation Week, running June 16-22, 2024! To participate, simply make something about Scott and tag it with #ScottMcCallWeek24, or mention us @scottappreciation. Gen works, all Scott ships, and all types of content (fics, edits, art, playlists, gifs, etc.) are welcome. We have included some suggested prompts below, and look forward to enjoying everything you create!

All fics must be Scott-centric and Scott-positive. Scott does not need to be the POV character, but the primary focus of the fic should be Scott’s emotions/interests/needs/etc.

WRITING PROMPTS:

Day One - A Certain Potential: Anything set in or around 3a! What is Scott's summer like between s2 and 3a? How does Scott feel about his journey towards alpha? What effect does his attempt in Motel California have on him? Explore it all!

Day Two - I Haven't Been to Beacon Hills in a Long Time: In the movie, we discover Scott's moved to LA and hasn't been back to his hometown in awhile, but why? What led to him moving? What's his new life like? Use today to explore his life between 6b and the film!

Day Three - Find Your Anchor: How does Scott use his relationships with others to keep himself human? What motivates who he refuses to walk away from and who he shuts the door on? Use this prompt to investigate any relationship—romantic, platonic, or familial—in Scott's life!

Day Four - This isn't Just about the Game: How does being captain (or co-captain) of the lacrosse team play into Scott's life? Whether it's his relationship with Jackson, Coach, Isaac, Kira, or even Nolan, today is the day for discussing the main sport at Beacon Hills' High!

Day Five - Good Dreams, Or Bad: Whether it's nightmares, wishful thinking, or Scott's concrete goals, today is the day to explore the things that keep Scott up at night!

Day Six - Even When Justified: Mercy is one of Scott's central ideologies in the show, but why? What drives him to show mercy? How does it influence his decisions? What makes it hard, or worthwhile?

Day Seven - Dealer’s choice: Free day!

VISUAL PROMPTS:

Day One: Emotions

Day Two: Quotes/Poetry/Lyric

Day Three: Distance Shots

Day Four: Faceless

Day Five: Werewolf Powers

Day Six: Belief

Day Seven: Dealer’s choice

ALTERNATE:

The Person You Should Trust: Whether it’s enemies to friends/lovers, post s5 resolution, or the belief in hope in the face of betrayal, this prompt is for exploring Scott's relationship with trust!

#scott mccall #teen wolf #tyler posey #scottmccallweek #scalia #sciles #scallison #sceo #scira #scisaac #scydia #scerek #teen wolf events #scottmccallweek24

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gotham-ruaidh · 9 months ago

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Little Bit Better Than I Used To Be

Catch up: Chapter 1 (Starry Eyes) || Chapter 2 (Save Our Souls) || Chapter 3 (Dancing On Glass)|| Chapter 4 (Merry-Go-Round)|| Backstage (1) || Backstage (2) || Chapter 5 (Danger)|| Backstage (3) || Chapter 6A (Love Walked In) || Chapter 6B (Without You) || Backstage (4) || Chapter 7 (Stick To Your Guns) || Chapter 8 (Time For Change) || Backstage (5) || Chapter 9 (Take Me To The Top) || Backstage (6) || Chapter 10 (Home Sweet Home) || Backstage (7) || Chapter 11a (Nightrain) || Chapter 11b (Nothing Else Matters) || Chapter 12a (Handle With Care) || Chapter 12b (I’m So Tired of Being Lonely) || Chapter 13a (Angel) || Chapter 13b (She’s My Addiction) || Chapter 13c (Patience) || Chapter 14a (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14b (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 14c (Where Do We Go Now?) || Chapter 15a (Dreams) || Chapter 15b (I Sing A Song of Love) || Chapter 15c (You Can Do This If You Try) || Chapter 16 (Let That Feeling Grab You Deep Inside || Chapter 17A: Never Tear Us Apart || Chapter 17B: It’s Tough To Be Somebody, And It’s Hard Not To Fall Apart || Chapter 17C: I’m Wishing, Lord, That I Was Stoned || Chapter 18: Turn The Page || Chapter 19A: When You’re Alone, Do You Let Go? || Chapter 19B: Heading For A Spin || Chapter 20A: I Don’t Need Nothing When I’m By Your Side || Chapter 20B: I’m Walkin’ Down This Rocky Road || Chapter 20C: You're The Only One Who Gets Through To Me ||| Also posted at AO3

Chapter 20D: Together We Can Make It A Dream

What you need is what I want So don't be afraid, let it show Don't be afraid, just let it explode We have got the power to build the highest tower Standing with our feet on the ground We've got what it takes, together we can make it Together we can blow the house down…

-- “Blow The House Down,” Living In A Box (1989) [click here to listen]

North Carolina || February 1989

Dinner was delicious. They all consciously kept the conversation light and fun.

Claire was particularly interested to hear Raymond’s impressions from walking around the property – about twenty acres in all, including woods and a pond. Jamie eagerly discussed the barn, now home to their vehicles (Jamie’s black 1965 Corvette, Jamie’s cherry red Dodge Charger, Jamie’s Harley-Davidson, and Claire’s powder blue Datsun that proved to be the perfect, practical go-to-town car) for the winter.

“I’m thinking of making it a proper home studio,” he said, scraping the remnants of chili from his bowl. “With a sound board and everything. Will give us more space in the house.”

“And it won’t be so loud,” Claire smiled, sipping her ice water, left hand entwined with Jamie’s under the table.

“It’s beneficial to have a little separation,” Raymond reflected. “When I started my private practice, I was given very good advice to rent an office space. There was a higher up-front cost, but patients certainly didn’t want to see me in my living room.”

“Speaking of which…”

Raymond immediately turned to face Claire. Encouraging.

Claire smiled softly, before continuing. “I want to get back to medicine – after we get back from Europe.” She paused. “My license transfer finally came through from Massachusetts a few weeks ago. I don’t want to open a private practice – it wouldn’t be fair to patients, if I’ll be on the road with Jamie, or here at home with children. But there’s a clinic in town where I can start picking up hours. I’ve already talked with them about it.”

“That would be wonderful, Claire.” Raymond’s smile was genuine. “And good to have that day-to-day interaction with patients again. You must not have had that too frequently in your last job.”

She shook her head. “By the end, my only direct interaction with patients was to consult their surgeries, before I would cut into them. I was very far removed from the daily grind. So incredibly different than at the very beginning right out of medical school.” She darted a smile at Jamie. “Though all those hours in the ER did come in handy on tour. I stitched and bandaged up quite a few wounds, splinted a few broken fingers. Jamie doesn’t understand when I say it, but I truly enjoyed doing that.”

“I just don’t get why she’d ever get excited at the sight of blood,” he smiled. “But it makes her happy.” He paused, and turned to look at her straight on. “It would make me happy, Claire, for you to spend more time at the clinic. Even now, in time we have left before it all gets crazy again. I…” He swallowed. “I want you to make something of your own, here in North Carolina. To get back to your roots.”

She beamed at him. He darted in for a quick kiss, feeling no hesitation in front of Raymond.

“Remind me when you’ll be in Los Angeles?”

“Two and a half weeks until we leave.” Jamie helped himself to another ladle of chili. “I’ve got three weeks of rehearsals – the band hasn’t played together since October. While we’re there, we’ll be meeting with the label, and maybe book a day or two in the studio. Probably a show or two, something small.”

“And then a week home here in April,” Claire added, “before flying to England to kick off the tour.”

“120 dates and counting.” Jamie sighed. “We’re booked two, three dates in most cities, though fortunately we’ve got at least a day in between cities to travel. We’re headlining all kinds of festivals. And then in August we have two weeks off – ”

“Three,” Claire chimed in.

“…and Claire and I are torn between coming back home, or going for a European vacation somewhere.”

“We don’t need to decide now,” she said softly. “Plus, if I’m pregnant by then…”

Jamie kissed her temple.

“I’ve been thinking about how we’ll work together on this tour.” Raymond pushed aside his empty bowl and pulled a small spiral notepad from the inside pocket of his blazer. He pushed back the cover, made a quick note with the pen tucked behind his ear, and looked across the table at Jamie and Claire.

“We’re open to whatever you suggest,” Claire said softly. “I hope you know that about us by now.”

“I do. I’ve been going back and forth between whether to do something in a structured way, especially given the logistical challenges and the travel. But I think that in order for both of you to get the support you need from me, we’ll need to aim for as much structure as possible.”

“I agree,” Jamie nodded, wrapping an arm around Claire’s shoulders. “Consistency will be key. Claire and I – this last tour, we tried to stick to the same schedule every day.”

“For show days, anyway,” she added.

Raymond flipped to a new page, pen poised. “And I assume that would be roughly the same, this tour?”

Claire nodded. “Wake up call at 830 or 9 AM. Wake up, love each other, order breakfast to the room, shower. Limo to the venue at 1130. Get to the venue, have lunch, band does soundcheck. That’s done by 2 PM. Then free time at the venue. Sometimes Colum meets with the band. Sometimes the band hangs out together, plays music – that’s where a lot of new songs come from. Sometimes I’ll spend time with Angus’ girlfriends, or reading in Jamie’s dressing room, or just being alone with Jamie and enjoying the quiet. All of us use that time to catch up on phone calls. I try to call Uncle Lamb and my friends Joe and Gail Abernathy a few times a week.”

“And to think that a year ago, she’d never been on the road like this,” Jamie smiled.

Claire blushed prettily. “Dinner usually at 6 or 630. Then the band gets dressed, sometimes does fan meet-and-greets or press interviews. The opening act starts at 8. About 45 minutes of the opener, and then it’s showtime.”

Jamie pushed back his empty bowl. “And after the gig, we do a quick band huddle to talk about the show. Sometimes with Colum and also our road manager. Claire and I are usually in the limo back to the hotel by midnight, if we’re not traveling. If we are, then sometimes we fly after the gig and sometimes it’s first thing in the morning.”

Raymond scribbled on the pad. “It’s good to have so much structure. Did you feel the same way?”

Jamie nodded. “Definitely. Claire?”

“Yes,” she agreed. “Especially when we’re in a new place every few days.”

“And when during the day would you have the panic attacks, Jamie?”

Jamie frowned. “After dinner. Sometimes during the free time in the afternoon.”

“One time in the hotel room, after we got back from the show,” Claire added gently. “And a few times in the morning, when we were waiting for the limo. Once, in the limo.”

“Do you see that with your other patients, Raymond?”

Raymond looked up from his notebook. “That panic attacks come at any time, without a particular pattern? Yes. Though especially with the combat vets, something in their environment acts as a trigger. Do you ever feel anxious to perform, Jamie?”

Jamie shook his head. “I fucking love it, Raymond. To play my music, with my band…to hear thousands of people singing the words I wrote, and so into the music and the whole experience we give them…there’s really nothing else like it. It’s a high, for sure. Better than any drug.”

Jamie squeezed Claire’s hand. “And the only feeling that’s better than when I’m on stage, is when I’m loving Claire.”

Raymond set down his pen, and flipped back a few pages in his notebook. “So it’s not triggered by the performance itself. And I assume you don’t get anxious or claustrophobic on buses or airplanes?”

“Nope. I’ve never had a problem with that.”

“And were your days so consistent before? When you were using?”

“Yes and no. The broad strokes of it, yes – though add ‘whiskey’ and ‘coke’ and ‘girls’ to any of the time I had to myself.” He paused, thinking. “After the show most nights, I wouldn’t go back to the hotel right away. I’d celebrate with the roadies and some girls, usually hit up a strip club, not make it back to my hotel until dawn. Obviously I don’t do that anymore.”

“You’re just an old man who likes being tucked up in bed with his lawfully wedded wife,” Claire teased.

“You know it,” Jamie smiled.

Raymond scribbled on a fresh sheet in his notebook. Absently running his hand through his hair. Clearly thinking.

“All right,” he said, after a while. “Before I walk you through my plan – I need to ask you something. Both of you.”

To be continued…

#outlander #outlander fanfic #little bit better than i used to be

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littlespoonevan · 10 months ago

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What is the couch theory? 😅

oh anon, where do i start!!!!! this is possibly my favourite subject of all time so apologies in advance if this gets rambly askdjfh

okay so the couch theory goes all the way back to s5 of 911. at the start of 5B buck asks taylor to move in with him, right? and because she brings all her stuff with her it means they have double of everything, including two couches. so buck gets rid of his and they keep taylor's

however in 5x18 buck and taylor break up so she moves out and, of course, takes her couch with her

when we meet buck again in s6 a few months later he still hasn't found a replacement couch. over family dinner with eddie and christopher, chris makes a joke about it (like father, like son) and buck tells him and eddie that, "he doesn't want to choose the wrong couch again" heavily implying he means he doesn't want to choose the wrong romantic partner again (he also says his last two couches came with girlfriends since ali presumably helped him pick out the first one when he moved into the loft in s2).

the episode ends with buck moving his armchair to the place his couch used to sit and sitting down with a smile on his face, suggesting he's content on his own for now and thus, the couch theory was born:

buck's next couch/romantic partner will be the Right one

so we go through the whole of 6A with no couch developments and no real allusions to it be tHEN in 6B after the lightning strike buck's parents comment on his lack of couch and his mother decides she's going to buy him a couch (which is the adult equivalent of getting him a new bike when he hurts himself but that's a different post)

so margaret buys buck a couch but obviously, it's all wrong. because buck didn't choose it himself. it's not comfortable, he can't relax on it, can't fall asleep on it. and in an episode where buck is feeling smothered by everyone's attempts to check in on him it doesn't offer the comfort he needs so what does he do???

go to eddie's house of course!

and you'll never guess what happens, anon:

buck falls asleep on eddie's couch in about five seconds flat!!!!

to say 911 had me by the throat at that point would be an understatement lmao

bc that means eddie's the couch, right?????? what other implications could there possibly be when buck has been using his couch as a metaphor for a partner and he falls asleep on eddie's couch so quickly, suggesting he feels safe and comfortable there??? i said it that time but it would literally have been less suggestive to have him sleep in eddie's bed than it would've been to have him sleep on the couch at the point skdjhf

(and none of this is even getting into the fact that when buck wakes up eddie is the first person buck is honest with in the episode about how he's feeling after the accident, further cementing the idea of him being buck's safe space)

anyway by the end of s6 kameron gives birth on buck's couch and effectively ruins it meaning it's time for him to get a new couch again. now this is where everything falls to shit and i WILL be bitter about this for the rest of my life lmao but basically because of the fear of cancellation s6 sort of pivots in the last few eps and the finale makes an attempt to give each of the characters a mini happy ending in case it really is the overall series finale. and buck's 'happy ending' was to ask natalia (who he'd recently started dating) to help him pick out a new couch

now my personal opinion?? i Hated that. not even from a buddie perspective, just as someone who is very dedicated to buck's seasons long romantic arc and the couch theory, i thought it was really weak and far less satisfying than if he'd just ended the season single. especially bc the point was buck was supposed to pick the couch himself. but!!! some people are suggesting he still doesn't have a couch in s7 (though it's hard to tell since all the shots we've gotten have been in the kitchen) so i am privately holding onto the hope that the couch theory lives on aksjdfh

TL;DR the couch is eddie. eddie is the couch 🛋️❤️

#anon #asks #911 related #long post #couch theory you will always be famous i will never forget you

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