#but this one goes out to the true nerd ass kids who were watching people talk about that one where it rains glass

[themslash]

and i'm gonna be honest? i dont even think kelt 11b actually has the consistency of styrofoam. i think it has some weak gravity shit going on like a small core in comparison to heavier gas giants, so it has trouble holding onto its mass, which gets real thin in the higher atmospheric layers. i bet the real answer is boring shit like that. i bet its not even real styrofoam

[gojos-thot-patrol]

I now present you with:

Even more Random JJK men headcannons I made while in my feels

This time Featuring: Megumi, Itadori, and Sukuna

MEGUMI:

Megumi loves a very specific type of country music, and that is "Scorned woman gets revenge" country.

Play any of that stadium, "I fuck my truck while drinkin beer" country and he's liable to punch you in the neck. CARRIE UNDERWOOD HOWEVER.

Not Carrie, but if you put on Gunpowder and Lead for this man, he is going to give you a concert you will never forget. That is his JAM.

Other than that, he listens to a lot of Tool. I dunno, he just seems like the kind of guy to like Tool. And Alice in Chains.

Doesn't like Nine Inch Nails though. First song he heard was Animal and it just ruined the whole band for him.

Is a weirdly good artist. Like, he claims he's never taken a class, and doesn't really practice a lot, but his art is so good it's hard to believe that's true.

He uses this power exclusively to draw fanart.

Oh, hes a closeted weeb. Like, hes super into anime and manga, but hes so ashamed to admit it. And for no real reason honestly.

Hes a movie guy. That giant collection of movies you saw Itadori watch? Yea, those were all Megumis. He was pissed when Gojo took them and gave 0 explanation as to why.

He says his favorite movie is the Godfather, but it's not. It's Kevin Smiths Dogma. He thinks Alan Rickman is fucking hilarious in that movie.

He can never say that though, because of he did, he'd lose all movie buff credit

Also, Nobara got him into musicals. No, not Hamilton, that's too basic. He's into things like "The Guy That Hates Musicals" and "Sweeny Todd."

Unironically sings "my friends" to himself as he shaves.

Also, he has an incredible singing voice, but good luck actually hearing it. You gotta catch him in the moment.

Watches art videos on YouTube to fall asleep. Watching people color is just really soothing to him.

He really loves chocolate. Like, all types, in all shapes and forms, except white chocolate. Fuck white chocolate, he hates that shit on principle.

"It has no coco in it, it's just soild cream! Who wants to eat cream?!"

He does, but he won't admit it on principle

Generally speaking, he's not great at video games. He can't tell you why, but they make him motion sick.

The exception is Rythm games. He kills at those. 100% on expert, first try, every time. Man's got rhythm.

Does not believe he has any rhythm at all.

ITADORI:

Hes weirdly specific about sheets. He truly believes in getting a good, comfortable, nights sleep, and that your bedding contributes to that.

Seriously, this is a man that would gladly drop 50, 60, 100 american dollars on sheets. And be Damm fucking happy about it too.

He convinced Nanami to his side as well. Nanami was of the opinion that sheets are sheets. Like, yea don't get the cheapest, scratchiest, sheets available, but 13000 yen on sheets is excessive.

Itadori was like "just touch them. Touch my sheets Nanami, please." And Nanami was like "no, that is weird, do you hear yourself?" Finally, he did it to shut the kid up.

He immediately dropped 13000 yen on some sheets.

Itadori genuinely loves doing house work as well. Dinner, dishes, laundry, he loves that. He finds it meditative. He just puts on his music and goes.

He also loves Magic the Gathering and DnD. He's finally convinced Nobara and Megumi to play with him, and is living his best life watching his friends slowly get sucked into his nerd culture.

He uses out dated slang. And this is hell on Sukuna, who is trying to learn modern language from him.

Seriously words like, Gnarly, Totes, Metal, and Home Skillet, are all common place in Itadoris vocabulary.

One time, Sukuna was just kinda rambling, and to placate him Itadori said "oh, word?" Absent mindedly and it just threw this demon for a whole ass loop. "What do you mean "Oh word?" I said many words, what word is confusing you, punk?!"

He loves birds. Genuinely, they're one of his most favorite animals. He had a green and pink parakeet for most of his life, but sadly he bad to rehome Cosmo and Wanda once his grandfather got sick.

It's ok though, they're new owners are super nice and still send Itadori letters with updates and pictures of the babies

He will point out birds and tell random facts about them as the crew goes through Tokyo. Everyone actually greatly appreciates this from him, cause fun facts are fun!

He's actually just full of fun facts. Like, sometimes he'll read random Wikipedia pages for fun, and will just throw out the facts he has as like, a conversation starter.

His favorite flavor of anything is peach. Not even for the meme or the joke, peach is just the perfect flavor as far as hes concerned.

It's also pink, like him. So. There is that.

After watching all of those movies for months, he decided his favorite movie genre was the RomCom. Even if he got punched a few times, it was worth it.

Are the cliché? Yes. Are they ever really well Shot or get creative with cinematography? No, not really. Do they sometimes have some troubling tropes? You betcha. But they were also fun, and familiar, and warm, and they always had a happy ending. And happy ending are important to Itadori.

In general he's kind of a hopeless romantic. He's not looking for love, persay. If it comes, cool but he's certainly not seeking it out.

But he does love the concept of love. And how it's used in media, specifically. It can be the ultimate good or the ultimate bad with very little in-between and that fascinates him.

His favorite holiday is the entirety of Golden Week cause he loves having the week off to research birds.

SUKUNA:

Fucking loves Britney Spears. His all time favorite artist, she has an undeniable energy, and a command over attention that he can not help but respect.

She also put out Criminal, so, he has no choice but to stan.

His first week being awake again was a fucking trip. He'd been asleep for thousands of years, and oh my gods had the humans been fucking busy.

The microwave blew his fucking mind. "You mean you've harnessed the power of the fucking sun in a small box in order to just, reheat your leftovers whenever you want?! THE FUTURE IS NOW YUJI ITADORI."

Don't even get him started on indoor plumbing, he really just though everyone in this Era had money money.

Jokes on him.

He can not handle spicy food. Sukuna can be defeated with a chili pepper and it's almost embarrassing.

Hes addicted to Baja Blast though. As far as he's concerned, that is the one thing humans did right.

He has threatened to shut the entire operation (that being Itadoris life) down over being denied the cancer in a cup.

He really tries to use modern slang, but in-between his age and Yuji not using any that was created after 1998, he never stood a chance.

"Where are your chickens, Punk?" "M...my chickens?" "Yes, your chickens! Your friends, your homes, your cooking wear!!" "...Ryomen, are you trying to say 'where are your peeps?!'"

He loves cats. They're independent and graceful creatures and he has to respect it

Also, LOOK AT THEIR WITTLE NOSES AND TEEFIES!! DEY ARE SO COOT AND WITTLE!

Hes really into documentaries, he uses them to catch up on all the things he missed out on while asleep.

The main thing he learned was that humans never really changed. And it almost bummed him out.

Greatly appreciates Itadoris passion for quality bedding, but he will never say that out loud.

Genuinely enjoys art in all of its forms. Will force Itadori to go to museums and such for him. Almost lost his entire mind when he found out Megumi was not only an artist, but a damn good artist at that.

Can not sleep at night. Even when Sukuna was mortal, he was nocturnal. This sucks for Itadori, cause while he's trying to sleep, Sukuna it trying to converse and he does not like to be ignored.

Hes queer as hell but can't admit it. He'll say things to Itadori about hot people he sees in public, and this includes men. He'll say some of the raunchiest shit about men.

And everytime Itadori is like "uhh, hey man. Is there something you want to tell me?" "No, nothing other than the things I'd do to that man." "Sukuna, are you, like...gay?" "Thats a bold question to ask punk. "Gay" is a concept you and your generation made up. In my time, there was no concept of "sexual orientation" or "monogamy" or any of those other terms you humans use to put yourself in a box. If you were attracted to someone, and they were attracted to you, you fucked. And that was that, the other parties genitals were very rarely taken into account when making a move on someone." "Thats not really an answer." "I know."

He actually doesn't talk a whole lot about his Era, or his time when he was alive. No one really knows why either. Whenever asked about it, he just kinda mutters about it being a long time ago, or ignores the questions entirely. Either way, he isn't about talking about it.

He things tigers are cool as fuck. Gotta be one of his favorite genders.

"Did I do it right? Is this how you "meme" or whatever the fuck you call it, Punk?"

[olderthannetfic]

I think we really need to iron out the "listen to minorities" thing. When you listen to someone, you're usually allowed to agree or disagree, but the argument is that you have to agree with minorities because they have the lived experience you don't and your bias doesn't allow you to actually listen to them before dismissing their opinion, so you have to stay quiet, listen and say "I'm sorry I was stupid and thank you for educating me."

and I'm not even kidding, I've seen this happen in spaces that were trying to be inclusive, where no one is allowed to disagree with minorities and whatever minorities do is considered acceptable, while some unbelievable things are considered offensive and it's like impossible to exist in those spaces.

on the other hand I've been in spaces that shut minorities down with "minorities are not monolith so you're of course wrong."

I'm actually confused about what we need to do in fandom spaces. depending on your circle either of the above could happen to you and I have tried to keep a middle ground and have had no success.

--

I mean... the first step is to not treat it like showing up to a trade negotiation with a foreign power.

I care what my friends from Asia think about Americans in c-drama fandoms. I care what my Chinese American friends think about n00bs' hot takes and which of the 9944452624 adaptations of Romance of the Three Kingdoms their drama-addict moms think are definitive.

I sincerely do not give a fuck about some rando trying to school me on cultural appropriation in ways where I can tell we fundamentally disagree about what the concept is and is for.

The main problem here is that a lot of insecure white people have no nonwhite friends offline and assume this is true online as well. (It probably isn't. You probably know plenty of people on here.)

Honestly, I think fandom is often a piss poor place for serious, unpleasant education. A lot of people will absorb that better if you send them off to read something or watch a documentary and absorb it and integrate it into their world view on their own.

You know what fandom is good for? The kind of "education" that consists of pimping people into the thing you're obsessed with. I have read a lot of xianxia explainers by Asian fans over the last year and a half, and they have been bursting with fannish joy and very educational for my n00b ass. Win, win.

A lot of the complaints about fandom as an unwelcoming space are over characters and media not being popular or a given character being treated poorly in the background of a fic. (Please, guys, stop the thing where the white couple are the AU dogwalkers and the characters of color are the dogs. Why would you do this???)

How about everyone who's concerned about doing their bit goes and reads some pimp posts about diverse media and checks out some new canons? That will do a hell of a lot more to support your fellow nerds in a normal member-of-the-community way rather than a diversity-speaker-brought-from-outside way.

[authenticmiya]

Pinky Promise - Hawk x Reader

Summary - Part 2 of Punching Bag. After all of this lost time, can the reader come to terms with the bad past she has with Hawk? Can they redeem what they had?

Words - 2k

Warnings - angst

Hawk pulled into the driveway of his house, the house you hadn’t been in for what felt like a lifetime ago. His moms car was gone, meaning it really was just the two of you.

“I bet my hair looks a mess right now.” You sighed, handing the helmet back over.

“Not as much of a mess as your knuckles, come on, let’s get you sorted.” The two of you walked towards the front door.

“Shit, I haven’t got my keys.” Hawk tapped on his pockets repeatedly, hoping they were in there.

“Under the statue of the Dalmatian.” You told him and his eyes creased together in confusion.

“Your mom always left a spare key under the Dalmatian.” Hawk was shocked that you had even remembered that.

“Don’t be surprised, the amount of times you used to lock us out, it’s hard to forget.” Hawk didn’t know how to feel. You didn’t want help, so why were you helping him?

“As much as it pains me to say, my hand is stinging like a bitch.” You admitted.

“Right, right.” He muttered, lifting the statue up and of course finding the spare keys. When he opened the door, you were hit with nostalgia.

“Nothings really changed in here.” Hawk watched as you took in everything.

“Last time I was here, you slammed the door in my face.” Hawk swallowed the lump in his throat. That night was the some what end of your friendship together. It wasn’t his transition into Hawk, it was who he became when he was Hawk.

“I shouldn’t have let you leave like that Y/N-“ He began.

“But you did and we both said some hurtful shit.” Hawk nodded and allowed you to follow him into the kitchen.

“There is no way your mom still has this on the fridge.” You gasped at the picture of you and Eli at Golf N Stuff when you were both five.

“You beat my ass at Golf every-time we went there.” He chuckled and a small smile formed on your lips. Noticing he had got the first aid kit out, you perched yourself on the counter.

“This is gonna sting like a bitch.” Hawk prepared you as he wiped away the blood and applied some anti-septic over the cuts.

“That’s the first thing you’ve been right about in months.” Your sarcastic, rude remarks were expected and Hawk took them. He couldn’t exactly say you were wrong, because the only thing coming out of your mouth, was the truth. Wrapping a small amount of bandage over the wounds, Hawk was finished being your doctor.

“Thank-you.” You said, before hopping off of the counter and heading towards the front door.

“Not so fast Y/N, I said once I finished with your knuckles, you and I were talking.” Hawk stopped you.

“I’m not gonna talk to you if you’re gonna be an asshole about it.” You snapped.

“Okay I’m sorry, please can we just talk? No arguing, no nothing, just a conversation.” You chewed the inside of your mouth and hesitantly nodded.

“What happened that night, Y/N I can never forgive myself. I have this whole badass reputation you know? It’s not an excuse, it never was and it will never be. I never should’ve let that take over what we could’ve had.” Hawk told you once the two of you had sat down on the couch.

“What we could’ve had? Are you serious? Eli, Hawk, whatever you wanna be fucking called. You and I were best friends. I mean the best of friends throughout our entire childhoods. We were each-others rocks when it came to the bullying, nah scratch that, you, me and Demetri.” He knew you were trying to pick a fight, but he wasn’t going to give a reaction. He was the one who done dirty, and now he was coming to his senses.

“I shouldn’t have let it come to any of that, we were meant to rise to the top together.” Hawk frowned, now noticing how sad you felt.

“If what you are now, is at the top, I wanna stay at rock bottom.” You told him with a sigh.

“I can’t change what I’ve done to you Y/N or Demetri, I can’t do anything about what I’ve already done. But I can try and avoid it from happening again.” Hawk tried to hold your hand but you shrugged him off.

“You know when mom left me all them years ago? I thought I felt heartbreak for the first time, but when you knew what you were doing to us.” You referred to yourself and Demetri.

“That’s when I felt heartbreak. Knowing you thought it was alright to become the bully. Them nerds? Them nerds you were once apart of. You were in their shoes, and now you’ve put them in the position that nobody should have to go through. At first you though it was badass, but now, you’re a massive dick.” You ranted.

“It’s taken you this long. It’s taken me getting a few cuts for you to realise you were in the wrong this entire time?” Hawk felt like he could cry, he done you so dirty.

“Y/N please-“ It took him every ounce not to just break down in tears in front of you.

“I had no one to go to.” A tear slipped out of your eye and Hawk felt his whole world come crashing down on him.

“I mean I had Demetri, but you know how awkward he gets. You’re the one who would sit there for hours on hours to listen to me and understand my problems, and when you left, I had no one.” You confessed.

“Sure I had Miguel but he was always busy with Karate and Sam, and yeah I guess you could say Johnny is a father figure in my life, but I wasn’t with him everyday like I was with you.” You sniffled, wiping away at the tears that kept building up.

“I have enough money in my bank account to support my bills for maybe half a month. Once my money goes, I’ve lost everything.”

“No you haven’t. Don’t ever fucking say that. You have me. Y/N, you will always have me.” Hawk couldn’t stress that enough but his actions hadn’t really made that clear in the past.

“So that’s it yeah? I let you back in my life and suddenly I have to trust you not to leave? Not to slam the door in my face? Not to drop me like a bag of potatoes again?” You questioned him.

“I needed you and you weren’t there.” You frustratedly disclosed with him.

“I wasn’t there when I had to be. I’ve got so much lost time to make up for, that’s if you’ll let me. I know I wasn’t there, and that is really suffocating me with regret. You did everything for me Y/N. You never left my side, even when all the popular girls wanted to be your friend, you shook them off and stuck by me. I treated you like shit and I’m so sorry.” Now this was the side of Eli that you hadn’t been familiar with for a very, very long time.

“I guess it’s true what they say when you don’t know what you have until it’s gone, right?” You asked him.

“That quote is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life.” From then it was silence. It didn’t feel awkward, yet it just didn’t feel peaceful either.

“I’m willing to forgive this, to try and come to terms with the new you just as long as you promise me one thing-“ Before you could finish the sentence, the front door opened and shut.

“Honey are you home?” Hawks mom called out, and your eyes widened. You hadn’t seen his mom in forever.

“Eli?” She went to call again, but stopped dead in her tracks when she realised you were sat next to him.

“Well god have mercy on me, Y/N? What are you doing here?” She excitedly rushed over and embraced you. The women who was there for every bullshit excuse your ‘parents’ had. It was your turn to feel bad now, because when you lost Eli, you hardly ever spoke to his mom.

“Hi Momma M.” You smiled as the hug lasted as long as it possibly could.

“I can’t believe you’re here! How are you? How’s your dad?” She asked and you gulped.

“I’m okay, he kinda up and left, got married to a women in Dubai.” You told her.

“He’s always been such a goddam slime ball.” She scoffed, quickly brushing that off and letting her calm demeanour take over. It seemed that everyone you knew, had the exact same opinion on your ‘dad’, even before you knew he was going to be permanently out of your life.

“Don’t worry, I beat the crap out of a punching bag.” Your comment made her chuckle, but that would never stop her from worrying about you.

“I’m not gonna ask questions as to why you two are even in the same room right now, but I’d really appreciate if you stayed long enough for us to have a chat Y/N. You’re a good kid, like the daughter I never had. I’ve missed you.” She smiled.

“Don’t worry, let’s go have a catch-up.” She brought you through to the kitchen and poured you a cold orange juice, leaving Hawk to wander about in his feelings in the living room.

“I know what happened between you two.” She began and you chuckled.

“Thought you weren’t gonna ask questions Momma M.” You took a sip of your drink with a slight smirk.

“Not in front of him, this is strictly girl talk.” She pointed out.

“Eli’s transformation was obviously a huge shock, and although I don’t agree with his actions, he’s still my baby, and I had to get used to everything he was doing. I let him do his own thing you know? Try to let him find himself. But believe me when I say he had one huge scolding when I found out about you and him.” His mom admitted to you.

“Me coming here today, was because he didn’t want me suffering through the night with sore hands.” You told her.

“And something as simple as that, means a lot to him. You trusted him enough to come back here Y/N. That’s a start.” She wasn’t on anyone’s sides, she just wanted what was best for you both.

“I suppose I didn’t really wanna go back to a dark apartment.” You laughed, forgetting that she didn’t know.

“That deadbeat isn’t helping you with the apartment anymore is he? That’s why you have no electricity.” Eli’s mom couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

“I’ve never wanted sympathy, you know that. I don’t want people feeling bad for me.” You sighed.

“I don’t care Y/N, you’re gonna go pack up your stuff and you’re gonna come and stay here.” She was completely serious.

“I can’t just do that, not after everything with Eli. I can’t intrude on you, this is your home not mine.” You were so appreciative of this women, but the offering made you feel bad.

“You’ve never known how to take anything offered to you. Remember Y/N, I’ve known you since you were a little bump on your mom’s belly.” You couldn’t help but wrap your arms around her.

“That’s if it’s alright with you?” His mom said and you turned around to see Hawk watching.

“I don’t think I could want anything more.” He smiled lightly. You walked over to him, and for the first time in forever, you hugged him. He was hesitant at first, but was quick to wrap you in a tight embrace. Hawk never wanted this moment to end.

“You can have the guest bedroom, or maybe share a room with Eli when you get married one day? You can have any room you want apart from mine.” His mom said excitedly as the two of you were still hugging.

“Long shot for marriage Mom!”

“You’ve gotta promise me, that you and I won’t forget this, but we will forgive this. We got over the bullying, we can get over this. Okay?” You held up your little finger, he hooked his over yours as you two sealed the pack with a pinky promise.

“We can do this.” And you couldn’t help the chuckle that fell from your lips as his mom squealed in his excitement.

Maybe things were gonna change for the good rather than the bad this time.

[nobodies-png]

Okay. So this is like, the funniest prompt that I found, wrote a bit for, and forgot about. I wrote it for a different fandom, and then thought "Organization XIII would be funny for this..." Org. XIII is turned into children and now the Reader has to (make sure they don't die) take care of them. Ages like... 4-9 because that's when children are the funniest. Do what you will with it

ngl im a sucker for old cliche prompts like these, every fandom has at least an au for this specific setting or some kindergarden au lolol

anyway here’s some HCs as to how they’d act and stuff !

Xemnas :

One of the oldest kids, but you don’t really know what to make of him. You were expecting Xemnas to still lead the rest, scare them into submission with a simple glare or something - turns out he’s rather timid. Barely speaks, you get the feeling he’s ignoring you on purpose, just makes a lot of faces and noises to indicate what he’s feeling. 

Somewhat clingy too, but unlike Demyx and Xigbar who want to get your attention through any means possible, Xemnas just grabs onto the hem of your shirt and follows you everywhere in silence. Doesn’t cause much trouble, but he doesn’t help you keep the others in check either, a true neutral I guess. 

Sometimes, he will just disappear and show up whenever you least expect him. Loves to climb and sit on tall places. Spaces out a lot. Compared to the rest, you can probably leave him to his own devices, as long as he’s not left alone with Xigbar or Larxene. 

Xigbar :

Actually the oldest, but pretty annoying and high maintenance. If he got on your nerves as his regular self, then you’re in for a fucking ride - this Xigbar is here to cause problems on purpose. He likes to talk, a lot. And it’s sucks because it’s usually endless and mindless chatter or pointing out everything that he sees. 

If he starts to get bored, he’ll scurry off to bother someone else, but it usually ends with someone crying or hurt. Don’t even bother keeping him on a leash, the bastard is too smart to be contained. 

Xigbar is one of those kids that can be extremely useful if you get him on your side, as he has no problem snitching and ratting out the others. The best way to keep him from losing his other eye or gouging out someone else’s is to bribe or trick him into helping you (just know that he can also be bribed by the other kids, Xigbar WILL betray you). 

Xaldin :

You expected Zexion to be the loner type, but turns out it’s Xaldin - he’ll always be on his own or avoiding the others, usually around the kitchen since you’ve banned everyone from going in there until they return to normal (not that they listen to you, but oh well). 

Xaldin is pretty much like those kids who hate being treated like kids and who pretend to be above the rest. While he might seem calm, it’s really easy to get him riled up, a simple “I bet you can’t do this or that” and he’s off to prove himself. 

Oddly enough, he gets jealous easily - if you give Roxas a cookie or whatever for behaving, then you GOTTA give Xaldin one too or else he’ll throw a fit. The best thing you can do with him is be honest and confess that you need him to chill the fuck out and Not Die :tm: while you take care of the others, he’ll feel all grown up because you told him the truth and will calmly stay in his room. 

Vexen :

One of the oldest kids, the stereotypical kid who only has ONE interest and won’t shut the fuck up about it, which is cute but not everyone has the patience to sit through a 6 hour talk about dinosaurs. You never expected this baby Vexen to be so into dinosaurs out of all things. Of course, just because he only talks about them, doesn’t mean he’s not curious about all that shiny lab equipment. 

You can’t keep him distracted with dinosaur books all day, he still has the heart and mind of a scientist ! Because he’s a very obvious nerd, he’s the target for a lot of members in the organization, namely Larxene - and when Vexen gets flustered or frustrated, he freezes up. Literally. He WILL freeze the entire room too.

Your best bet is to pair him up with Zexion or Xion, since they’ll gladly sit down to listen and learn. The three will gladly stay locked up in the library learning and reading. You just gotta hope Vexen doesn’t instantly crush Zexion and Xion’s dreams by ruining their fairytales with facts and logic.

Lexaeus : 

Also one of the older kids and the tallest too. This Lexaeus is just as stoic and intimidating as the original, but apparently he’s also very sensitive. Everytime he speaks to you it sounds like he might be about to cry. But he looks fine ? So you really don’t know what to do about him. 

Either way, Lexaeus is also very helpful and responsible, so you can trust him to watch over the rowdy kids and keep them relatively safe, just try not to pair him with the suuuper loud ones. 

Probably the type to take the blame and responsibility for any pranks gone wrong under his watch, even if you fully know there’s no way he’s responsible. Lexaeus is the epitome of “I just want everyone to get along”. Somehow, he’s very gentle with the others (as gentle as one can be when straight up dragging Xigbar out of the ventilation system) but he’ll break any toys and other items given to him.

Zexion :

Zexion is very very small, so you can probably understand the stress he’s going through, surrounded by these animals. Like Xemnas and Demyx, he’d be pretty clingy but he wouldn’t be able to follow you around or cling to you with all the others pushing and fighting around. 

So you can either just carry him on your shoulders or leave him with Lexaeus or Vexen as mentioned before. If not, Zexion will wander and either fall asleep in the Grey Area or find the library on his own. 

Not a problematic child, really. Zexion lacks the energy and the feralness to join any shenanigans - he's also smart enough to know that he’ll be better off listening to you and staying clear out of safety hazards. Though there’s always the chance of other members taking advantage of Zexion’s naive and curious nature.

Saix :

You were expecting him to be a tiny version of his regular self, bitter and strict. Surprisingly, he’s way more fun as a kid, glued to Axel by the hip too. They’re the duo you should look out for - Axel is the one who gets them in trouble and Saix is the one who makes sure you never notice they were behind it all. 

The one with a TERRIBLE temper right after waking up. Saix won’t hesitate to bite and claw anyone who tries to wake him up, even Axel knows better than to try. If it’s nap time, let him go, don’t even try to stop him. Don’t let anyone else near him.

Other than that ? A very nice kid in general, he feels a sense of responsibility when it comes to the younger members, so he’ll be the one to keep Axel in check whenever Zexion, Roxas or Xion are around. As for the older ones ? They’re on their own.  

Axel :

Axel is the first one to say “fuck” and it spreads like wildfire. So if you start hearing a bunch of kids swear at the top of their lungs, you know who caused it. You’ll also know because you’ll find him laughing and wheezing on the ground. 

Somewhat naive, if you tell him he can’t say “invertebrae” because it’s a swear world, he’ll believe you. But SURPRISINGLY he’s very aware of how dangerous his fire powers are - like, Axel wants to cause trouble on purpose, but he doesn’t really want anything to escalate and get anyone actually hurt. Unless it’s Vexen. If it’s Vexen, then it’s fine by him. 

You might hear “Y/N, LOOK” before seeing Axel in the kitchen casting fucking Firaga on a bag of Totinos or something. He and Demyx somehow keep getting targeted by the Dusks, who love to play pranks on them. 

Demyx :

Most likely to eat food off the ground, or anything shiny and colorful, really. He has the exact same vibes as the little brother who likes to follow people he thinks are cool to try and impress them, just to be considered a cool kid too. 

Demyx is very clingy but also a sneaky kid, he can easily cry his heart out so you’ll pay attention and protect him from people he’s pissed off. This is literally why most of the kids don’t like to be around him, cause he’s THAT kid who will ruin everyone’s funs by calling the responsible adult if he gets upset.

Instead of being musically inclined, Demyx just makes a lot of noise - constant loud humming, blowing raspberries, stomping his feet or tapping/hitting things, repeating funny noises or phrases he picks up. Probably has an old ass iPod or an MP3 you can distract him with.

Luxord :

DO YOU KNOW THOSE LITTLE KIDS WHO ARE SMARTASSES ? The ones who act like they know the mysteries of the world and give you a look of superiority because you clearly don’t know what tubby custard really is ? Yeah, that’s Luxord.

Full of fun facts that he LOVES to brag about, but most of them are fake and he’s none the wiser. You cannot correct him either because it’ll be like telling an 8 year old that Santa isn’t real. Thankfully, you don’t HAVE to correct him because that’s what Xaldin is for. 

Most likely to steal Xigbar’s eyepatch for himself and somehow convince everyone else that it was HIS eyepatch in the first place. How ? We don’t know, we just don’t know. Also Luxord might just steal little trinkets from everyone and stash them under his bed like the little creacher he is. If you can’t find your keys, you know who’s got em.

Marluxia :

A natural big brother figure. Very understanding too, even if you’ve heard from Larxene that he’s tired of everyone pulling his hair and that he might shave it all off just so they all stop. Yeah, there’s some lingering resentment in there. He’s 50/50 on being a little bastard and an angel.

Marluxia volunteers to help you take care of the other kids, mostly because he likes bossing others around and because he also likes reading books to Zexion and Xion so they fall asleep. 

LOVES to leave trails of petals and flowers wherever he goes, but REFUSES to clean up. Always seen with Larxene - Marluxia is also lowkey competitive so he sees the Axel + Saix duo as rivals. In what, exactly ? Who knows. VERY picky with food too. Actually, just very picky and petty in general.

Larxene :

The one kid who develops a personal vendetta against you from day 1. Larxene DESPISES being told what to do, so if you’re constantly telling her not to do this, to do that and whatever, she will make your life a living hell and do the opposite out of spite. 

You didn’t hear this from me, but Larxene is GENUINELY upset that she keeps accidentally zapping people whenever she plays with them. It’s really hard for her to apologize too, so you’ll have to step in a lot to de-escalate the situation.

Larxene sticks forks in outlets JUST to scare others, since she cannot get hurt at all by electricity. She just seems to enjoy making others afraid.

Roxas :

One of the youngest, Roxas doesn’t KNOW what “using your indoor voice” means, he’s either DEAD quiet or SCREAMING about how he’d like to have ice cream as a treat, please and thank you. It’s really fucking funny to see honestly. Just make sure he doesn’t sneak up on you and scare you shitless.

The type who gets dragged into shenanigans rather than cause them - he’s a very neutral and calm kid otherwise. The worst thing he can do is just steal everyone’s dessert or something because of that intense sweet tooth he’s got.

A lot of the older kids LOVE trying to get him and Xion to laugh, because Roxas has this permanent poker face AND because they both have really funny snort giggle laughs. 

Xion : 

Also one of the youngest, very sweet, patient and polite ! Xion also tends to be very clingy, always needing to hold hands with someone whenever she walks around Castle Oblivion. No one has the heart to tell her no, either.

Can get VERY VERY irritating and angry when someone tries to make fun of her or Roxas. Like a little hurricane of puppies - Xion won’t stop pestering all the meanies until she’s received a proper apology. If she somehow ends up hurting someone, she’ll insist on making up too.

Xion also tends to copy people she likes, similar to Demyx. You might catch her imitating your movements or way of speaking, or even copying the Dusks’ movements - but just make sure she doesn’t see you, Xion will explode out of embarrassment.

[y0ur-h0nor]

High Achiever||Eric Cartman x Fem!Reader

[ Please do not post my writing on different social media platforms, if I end up finding you reposting or stealing and claiming it as yours I will have to rearrange your guts in your fucking sleep, I ain't joking so think before you act upon it.]

A/n: This was one of the stories I have in my book, I'll be posting them here I will also post another one tomorrow.

Fem! Reader

Kids often kept their distance away from you, not because you were a bad kid or anything like that it was pretty much the complete opposite.

You were a smart student and was a high achiever, always early never late, wore clothes that showed no skin and left nothing to the imagination, you wore these big glasses that made you stand out even more, although I'm not saying based on your looks your some obnoxious spoiled and cocky brat who thinks their entitled to everything because they have a 4.0 GPA no.

You always had wanted to rebel against your Mother, you were like her escape to a life she could never have had because she didn't get the chance to get a good education and was born on 'the wrong side of the tracks'.

You had no Father to defend you from your Mother who projects herself onto you, although you do have an Older Brother Micheal but he moved away when he was eighteen in an apartment of his own and off to a different state living a life you want to be apart of.

Don't get me wrong, You love and adore your Mother when all she cares about is you and not about some piece of paper that had numbers imprinted on but due to you adoring the side your Mother had long disappeared you often mistake the true side your Mother shows you thinking it was an act out of love and she just want what's best for you.

You're not naive, you know what she's doing but you're too afraid to rebel against her like your brother did because he was soon to move out anyways but you were only 16 and you had about 2 years left till your able to get out of the house and get a job without worrying of getting kicked out of the house and have to sleep on the streets, so till the time comes you just put on a fake smile and study your ass off to make your Mother proud.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Looking down at the sink you lift you head up and see your face, mascara messed up, hair disheveled and collar unbuttoned.

Straightening up you grab some wipes from your backpack and wipe your face free of ruined mascara and went to get your comb from your bag, nodding and smiling at the girls who walked into the bathroom looking at you with concern and throwing away the wipe and returning your comb into your bag you button your blouse and adjust yourself ready to put up another fake smile and walk down the hallways.

Walking down the hallway, you try to grab your book from your backpack but since you weren't looking up and where you were going you had bumped into someone causing the both of you to tumble but if I was being honest you were the only one who fell on the floor hence why your glasses went flying.

"Hey! Watch where your going!" Someone says.

"Are you okay?" A boy questions picking up Y/n's glasses and handing it to them, as he helps her with picking up her things and handing them to her.

"She's the one who bumped into me!" They yell again.

"Shut up Fatass!"

"Hey! I'm not fat you fucking Jew!"

He rolls his eyes.

By the way they talk to each other and by the nicknames you could already tell, lifting your head you look at the two argue they were Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman one of the members in Stans friend group which was only consisted of Kenny Mccormick the schools playboy, Stan Marsh the captain of the football team, Kyle Broflovski a member of the basketball team and Eric Cartman...uh..just Eric Cartman you didn't interact much with him and you basically don't know anything about him (even if you knew him since 4th grade) but that was just about it.

Sighing Kyle rolled his eyes and stood up dusting himself off, offering a hand to the girl on the floor she takes it and stands up putting on her backpack.

"Thank you." She says adjusting her glasses.

"It's no problem." Kyle says.

"It sure is a big problem! She bumped into me."  Cartman yells.

Kyle could only cross his arms and rolls his eyes "Sorry, I wasn't really looking where I was going." She says fumbling with the sleeves of her sweater.

"Tch, Let's just go Kyle." he says walking away, disappearing in the sea of students

It had been a week after that little encounter and you had started hanging out with Kyle, you guys often would be seen together studying in the library either for a test or doing homework together, occasionally helping each other with any difficulties the other has.

What they don't see is the two of you getting to know each other much more, Kyle knew your Mother forces a projection of her younger self onto you and things others never knew about you and that goes the same with you and things about Kyle.

Being friends with Kyle had opened you to much different things, you began exploring your appearances and had opened up to other people, like Wendy and Bebe they first thought of you as a smart stuck up bitch and you thought of them as Girls who stab people in the backs who talk shit about others but all of those had cleared up between you guys and you were seen out more and smiling.

At home you argued to your Mother more often about your choice of friends and how they're "Bad influences" to you and their just using you for your smarts but you knew better to believe her and her words and if you did she'd have a much harder grip on you and manipulate you into doing her bidding for her, you pitied your self truly having to do your best to accomplish your Mothers broken dreams that she wasn't able to fulfill.

You were rebelling against your Mother, you wore clothing that your Mother dubbed "Inappropriate" even if it wasn't that much revealing and wore bolder makeup, you also wore contacts and discarded your glasses.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were walking down the halls to your locker when you saw Eric exit the boys bathroom and wiping his mouth with his jacket sleeve and leave to go to the cafeteria, guess he didn't see you..

But suspicion grew into your head Did he vomit? Was he sick? The thoughts began piling up into your head as you swirl in the sea of thoughts that bothered you, you weren't one to pry into peoples lives  but you were always one for curiosity  "curiosity killed the cat"  Well, your no cat so maybe this once...

Kyle decided to introduce you to his group of his friends because he thought it would be nice to see you get along with his friends (and Cartman) because you were now his friend too and he didn't want anyone being left out because he hangs with you guys separately and it's also about time they add a girl to their group.

"Now, be nice." Kyle warns his friends.

"Who are we meeting anyways Kyle?" Stan says from his spot on Kyle's couch, Kyle had planned to invite the guys over at his house first then invite you so you guys can meet and go outside to hang out at the mall.

"A friend of mine don't worry, I can guarantee you'll like them." Kyle reassures.

Cartman only copied Kyle's words and said in in a mocking tone Kyle could only glare at him before diverting his attention to his phone when he receives a text from Y/n.

He stands up and warns his friends before opening his door to reveal the girl standing at his front door with phone in hand, the boys from the living room went to see who it was only to be greeted with the school's nerd they thought it was someone else but alas it was her alright.

Her bouncy (h/c) hair free from being tied up into the usual ponytail, bits of her hair dyed (f/c) and her make up free face is decorated with makeup, eyeliner, mascara, blush and etc. bringing out her natural beauty even more and her being rid of those horrid glasses and instead replaced with contacts that bring out the shine in her (e/c) eyes.

And the clothes she wore were not her usual baggy clothing were replaced with a white tank top and jacket just zipped above her abdomen, black jeans, black boots and a choker decorating her neck to match she wore a pair of silver earrings.

The Boys thought they were dreaming but the girl in front of them was 100% Y/n Thompson "Did you sneak out again and not ask Mrs. Thompson?" Kyle asks, Y/n always had to sneak out of her house because her Mom didn't agree with her hanging out with a bunch of "bad influences."

She could smile sheepishly at him and fiddle with the straps of her backpack Kyle sighs and just gives her small smile he gestures her to go inside to introduce her to his friends, he closes the door and he clears his throat his friends were obviously staring for to long and it made Y/n more uncomfortable "Guys Y/n , Y/n Guys." He gestures to his you and his friends Stan waves at you whilst Kenny and Eric just stood there.

"So Y/n is a total babe now?" Eric says snickering.

"Cartman!" Kyle screams which results to Eric laughing fully.

Y/n could only giggle which caught the boys attention Kyle only sighs and rubs his neck, opening his mouth to speak "I wanted to invite the four of you guys so we could go out together and go to the mall, maybe play in the arcade and maybe go to watch the new movie that just came out." He says.

The three boys looked at each other as if they were talking in silent communication "I'm down." Y/n says smiling.

"Then the mall it is." Kenny says, everyone cheers before the boys gathered their things and went to leave Kyle's house and walk to the mall to hang out.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

There will be a part 2 to this story so you guys should stay tuned for the next part.

Anyways, like my writing? Consider following! o/

[jadelynlace]

Omg i know u said ink drinker ivar started to show y/n who he really is more when he fell for her, but like, i wanna get to know this man! Who is he? Can u tell us more about his personality and values? Like what r his vibes? Ahh i’m so obsessed w him

Oh, who is Ivar?

Well, he's a jack-ass, he's a smooth talker, he's a nerd, he's a sarcastic shit, he's a protector, all rolled into one. He likes his hoodies and his leather jackets, his combat boots, his mustang, and not admitting to the fact he needs to wear his glasses more often than he should.

Honestly, I don't even know where to begin, he lives rent-free in my mind. There's no end to how he rolls through my brain, and if this doesn't answer your questions I apologize. There's just so much.

I think first and foremost, Ivar is loyal. He's the most loyal person you'll ever meet. Or, he can be the meanest. It's all going to depend on how he's treated. He's pretty relaxed when it comes to just existing in the room with him. He'll keep to himself, draw, play on his phone, play video games. He's comfortable with his own company. That tends to happen when you close yourself off. You have to learn to rely on yourself, and there's nothing wrong with enjoying your own solitude.

Now, his values. Ivar is a family guy. With limits. He's a mama's boy through and through, there's no denying that. He'd walk through hell to see his mom smile. To make her proud. He loves her more than anything, and after watching what she went through from his father, God, Ivar can't believe just how strong some people can be. That's another thing he loves about you: your strength. When his parents finally split, when he and Hvitserk were just finishing high school, he really learned the core value of family. And that, family, is whoever you want it to be. Like, everyone always says "you only get one family!" Well yeah, and you only get one appendix, and when it fucks with you, you cut it out of your life. Ivar values strong relationships. His mother, Floki, Hvitserk, you. A few close friends from past tattoo conventions, people who do his craft as well as he does. Ivar also values children; he values treating children with respect, he knows what he went through as a child. He would never wish that on an innocent kid. I say it time and time again, Ivar is great with kids. Kids want to be loved, they want to be accepted and encouraged, and safe. Ivar will give them that. And hell, not even his own kids. His nephews, Floki's boys, friends of his with little ones. Cousins, relatives, yours or his. Those kids flock to Ivar because his energy is just so...pure. You swear he makes a friend with a child everywhere he goes.

He values the freedom to express himself. He's an artist, he'll draw until his fingers bleed and fall off. And then he'll draw some more. He values an environment that's not overly stressful. He still doesn't get how you and Hvitserk manage some of the shit you both have to deal with. He values acceptance. And that should be no surprise. (Looking directly at you Ragnar.) He values the ability to be alone, to be left alone, without being questioned. Sometimes, he just wants to go into his studio and exist. And that's fine. He'll come back, and he really loves that you let him be. You tell him that dinner's on the stove if he's hungry, you'll be reading if he needs you. He sometimes just needs to let his brain chill. To listen to some music and create art.

As far as his personality... Ivar is a geek. He'll geek out about math, about superheroes, about Star Wars, Marvel, DC, and True Crime. About sports. About the latest and greatest in the world of tattoos. He's silly when he wants to be, he makes you laugh harder than anyone you've ever met. He's witty and sarcastic and God, sometimes you just want to smack him. Sometimes you want to put that mouth to better use.

This brings me to my next point. Your pleasure is Ivar's pleasure. He gets off on making you cum, on making you feel incredible. He gets off on watching your head tip back, on how your body moves, and how it's for him to worship. The filth that can pour from his mouth, about what he wants to do with you--sometimes you swear he only thinks with a different head than the one on his shoulders.

He's a protector. If someone fucks with you, he's there to see it through. And maybe to remind you that murder is wrong. If someone is giving Hvitserk shit, Ivar will kick ass and take names. Anyone so dares to look sideways at you, at his mother, oh Lord. Get life insurance.

He gets too far into his own head more often than he doesn't. He's his own worst enemy and worst critic. He holds himself to an impossibly high standard, so much that he'll never reach it. He's a perfectionist. He's a neat freak, and you can't believe he's the youngest of five boys. He'll clean up after himself, everything in his apartment has a place. It's borderline obsessive, but neatness makes him content. Probably because his brain is so messy.

He's not a perfect person, no one is. He gets stuck in his ways, he can be defensive. He can be moody, and he can be confused when you tell him to talk through what he's thinking. That concept is so foreign for him because he doesn't want to scare you with his thoughts. Because sometimes, they scare him. When he offers help, to you or anyone, and it's not immediately accepted, he gets angry. There are subtle underlying anger issues when it comes to certain scenarios. He has a history of unstable past relationships, with Ragnar, and women he's gone after. He fears abandonment and can get clingy. And then when he sees himself doing that, he'll become withdrawn, he doesn't want to annoy you. He walked on eggshells for a while, before he really opened up about a lot of this, because he didn't want to lose you. You'd never leave Ivar for expressing himself. For simply communicating. That was new to him too. Emotions, feelings, they were bottled up and he was taught to keep them that way. He doesn't want to be alone in his life. He wants to love and be loved for who he is.

I apologize if this didn't answer your questions or help at all. I'm always down to answer more "specific" questions or blabber about HCs if that helps. 😅

[waezi2]

Re-reading Yu-Gi-Oh (part 1)

So... I bitch a lot about Yu-Gi-Oh. When I don’t complain about it online and accuse it of scamming kid me, I ridicule the story and the many holes in the game rules.

But I actually used to love this manga with a burning passion. I bought it because I was fixated with the cards, but instead I got traumatized. In an awesome way.

So I decided to re-read the manga about the possibly best known TCG game in the world and see how it started, how it evolved, and if the story still holds up.

So, I’m reading chapter 1, and we have to talk about the art.

The art style at the beginning was chunky and sometimes downright awkward. But it was still very enjoyable. The characters were very expressive and the tone of the style could swing quickly from wacky and rubberhose like to eerie and brooding depending on the situation. It makes you forgive odd-looking legs and hands that becomes massive. It is clear that it is someone’s first project.

So, this is Yugi. Possibly the cutest and meekest punk kid who ever lived. Yugi is not an outdoor person, so he spends most of his recesses inside the classroom. He brings a ton of games to school, hoping that someone might wanna play with him, but all of his classmates prefer to go outside and do stuff like basketball. And being a short teenager who practically looks like a little boy means he is not a desirable team mate in any ball game.

This is totally just a theory, but I think Yugi’s signature punk hairstyle is his way of trying to look a bit more edgy to try do something about his cute appearance.

... Yeah, it’s not working. He still looks like a fricking Gummibear.

As Yugi is minding his own business, we meet two familiar faces.

... their names are actually Jounouchi and and Honda, but most people know them by their American names, so I will just refer to them as Joey and Tristan. 

It’s so odd to see their old designs. Especially Joey since his hair is not as big and square like as it is today. And what the fuck is up with Tristan’s face?!

Anyways, while Yugi decides to play with the most valuable game in his collection, Joey and Tristan decides to mess with him. They make an interesting bully duo where Tristan is more loud and is clearly having more fun bothering Yugi who is too short to put up a fight while Joey seems more stoic and is almost annoyed by Yugi for being a pushover. He even tells Yugi to be a man about it and at least try and take the game back from him by force. So while Tristian just enjoys picking on Yugi for the heck of it, Joey seems to sincerely dislike Yugi.

Luckily, Yugi doesn’t have trouble with bullies as such since he is friends with Tea who is so tough that she actually intimidate Joey and Tristan with sheer attitude. That’s actually impressive.

... A shame she is most of the time just the damsel in distress.

Tea is the only person in class who hangs out with Yugi since they have been friends since kindergarten. And she doesn’t mind staying inside at all since a ton of the guys are jerks who only wanna play basketball with the girls since it gives them an opportunity to look up their skirts.

Yeah, there is a lot of that in this manga. Most of the males in this series are kinda horny. the humor often relies on it, which downright creepy at times.

Even Yugi finds basketball more appealing now that he knows about the skirt-looking.

Lewd panty-shot aside, I think it is a nice detail that Yugi is as pathetic as the rest of the dudes in school, he probably just doesn’t have the courage to try get a look. It makes him less of a pure hero.

Altight, let’s stop talking about Yugi being a closet creep:/

Yugi shows Tea what his greatest treasure is: A LITTERAL treasure.

Yep, this is the famous Millennium Puzzle, practically the mascot of the series. It’s an ancient puzzle found in an pyramid that Yugi got from his grandfather who runs a game store. The puzzle is extremely valuable, both because it is from ancient Egypt and it is made of gold.

... And Yugi brings it to school where Tristan and Joey pushes him around...

Yugi has been struggling with the puzzle for eight years despite being a game nerd. Even though it is a blow to his not that big ego, he keeps trying to solve it since the box says that if he will be granted a wish if he manage to solve the puzzle.

Meanwhile, Joey and Tristan makes the fatal mistake of talking about picking on Yugi while Ushio is close enough to hear it. He is the school’s hall monitor and rumor has it that he is downright psychotic and is feared by most of the students. Heck, some of the teachers are uncomfortable being near him.

And this guy has decided to become Yugi’s bodyguard, something poor Yugi doesn’t take serious when Ushio tells him that.

Joey and Tristan are unaware how screwed they are as they keep having their fun bothering Yugi without our hero knowing it. Joey managed to steal a piece from the puzzle box before Tea interrupted, and Joey decides to throw the piece in the school’s swimming pool so that the puzzle becomes worthless as it can no longer be solved. I gotta say, that is pretty twisted and surprisingly sneaky of a teen bully. It’s downright creepy.

Speaking of creepy...

This is Yugi’s grandfather Sugoroku. He runs the game shop that Yugi lives in and is a living encyclopedia when it comes to games of all sorts.

And he can’t just tell Tea that she has grown. He HAS to mention her breasts as well. Da fuck is up with all the sex talk and panty shots in this series?! Does Kazuki Takahashi(the author) have some sort of issues?!

Yugi’s grandfather notices that Yugi is STILL trying to solve the ancient puzzle and warns Yugi that the puzzle is supposedly cursed. That the archeologist and his team died mysteriously shortly after finding the puzzle and the last one to kick the bucket said something about a “shadow game” with his dying breath.

That however makes Yugi even more determent to solve the puzzle. If it really is magical then chances are that he will be granted a wish by completing the puzzle.

Personally, I would call the nearest museum and sell the dang thing before it could kill me with it’s insane cursed magic.

Speaking of insane, Yugi realizes that he should have taken Ushio serious when he said he would be his bodyguard.

Yep, the SOB has dragged Joey and Tristan behind the school building and kicked their asses through and through. Tristan is in so much pain that he is barely conscious and Joey is so pummeled that all he can do is watch as Yugi shows how surprisingly brave he is as he demands that Ushio leaves them alone, even refer to them as his friends and that they were just trying to make him a man.

Yeah, picking on someone because they are too timid and demanding that they fight you despite knowing that they hat violence is the right way to make someone a man. Hip hooray for toxic masculinity!

Yugi defending Joey and Tristan results in him getting a beating as well.

One of the interesting things about early Yu-Gi-Oh is the raw and ugly violence. We talking dirty violence where people get kneed in the chest and kicked while they lie down. Not just off-screen, we witness our heroes be pummeled, making the series a bit more gritty and frightening. And this series is not for those with a weak stomach.

Joey is stunned, partly because Yugi defends him, but way more of the short spiky-haired kid’s courage. But Yugi is anything but afraid. After all, he refused to fight Joey, but he still tried to get the puzzle back(not successfully, but he made an effort instead of just squirming).

After Ushio finished kicking poor Yugi’s ass, he tells him to bring him money as “payment” for his “bodyguard service.” And we talking 200000 yen, that’s a lot of dough.

Ushio even pulls a god damn knife(!), just to show how fucking crazy he is!

Yugi goes home to see if he has money enough to pay Ushio, but he only has 1656 yen. In frustration, Yugi decides to solve his unsolvable puzzle, just to think of something else than the brute with a knife who is waiting for him at school.

But what do you know? Yugi finally get the hang of it. He sees that some of the pieces just needs to be rotated differently and he finish it in a couple of minutes.

... Or he WOULD have. He finally sees that one of the pieces are missing, breaking his heart and making his awful day even worse.

But Grandpa has the last piece. He tells Yugi that one of his friends from school had found it and asked him to give it to Yugi. And that he was soaked despite it not raining.

As Yugi is happy about being able to finish the puzzle and returns to his room, his grandpa thinks about that the boy was Joey and that he asked him not to tell Yugi it was him that came with the puzzle piece. Joey also told him about Ushio blackmailing Yugi, so Grandpa secretly puts money in Yugi’s schoolbag so he won’t get in trouble.

And this is where it get’s freaky.

Yep, here it is. the iconic moment Yugi gets blessed by the puzzle so that he can turn into the split personality we refer to as Yami which is Japanese for “Dark”.

Yugi then calls Ushio and tells him to meet him outside school at midnight.

Ushio is surprised as he sees that Yugi is wearing some sort of costume and that he looks way more cocky than before.

Yugi tells Ushio that he has the money he demands, but he has twice the amount. Fricking 400000 yen!

But Yugi only “owes” 200000 to Ushio, so he suggest that they play about them in a dark and twisted game.

Yugi and Ushio take turns stabbing the stack of money placed on their hand. They have to stab hard enough to take more than one single bill. The winner is the guy with most yen bills.

As they play, Ushio seems to be winning... but when it is his turn, he can feel that his hand is way too eager to stab.

This is not just a weird-ass game. This is a “shadow game”, a game that shows your true nature. Ushio’s greed is now collected in his hand, and he so desperately want to win the game that he can’t control it. He realizes that if he stabs, he won’t be able to control his strength and he will penetrate his own hand. Ushio has to either A) give up and keep his hand or B) win the game with one hand less.

Ushio picks C.

Ushio tries to kill Yugi, but that was a mistake. The puzzle has made him super human and he leaps from the ground, evading the knife.

And cheating in a shadow game is a big no-go as the host of the game has authority to punish you.

Yami Yugi curses Ushio with “Illusion of Greed”, meaning he will be doomed to live in an imaginary world where he sees nothing but money everywhere.

Next morning, he is still outside the schoolyard like a drooling idiot who yells about all of his imaginary money.

Yugi has no memory of what happened but is glad he no longer has to be worried of Ushio who is a harmless nutcase. Not only that, he has finally finished his puzzle... and Joey offers him his friendship.

And that was the start of the horror manga turned card game commercial. It has a lot of charm, is very eerie and I think I prefer Yami Yugi’s first look that is more child like. making him look downright creepy.

This retrospective will continue ASAP.

Till then, I’m Waezi2, and thanks for wasting time with me.

[incorrectlumityquotes]

FULL REVIEWS: “Covention”

I didn’t think I’d have a harder time doing these reviews on my days off than on a workday, but errands and all that. I had no expectations going into this episode at the time since “covention” is a fake made up word. But I heard Amity was going to be in it, so I got excited. The spice of life returns. It’s been a hot minute. Let’s see how the episode holds up.

The episode starts with one of my favorite cold openings. Super funny and gives a good shot at those books that have that pretentious flowery language. Seriously who says “thou” and “hast” anymore. Lame. Luz tossing King into the portal right when it closes was my favorite bit. Was Eda really going to go to the human world just for that? 

Also I didn’t notice until someone pointed it out but I guess they’re using Azura and Hecate as some kinda parallel to Luz and Amity. Hope Amity doesn’t find out that she’s not the Azura character. Does that mean that Eda is that old ass lady and King is that little fox dog thing? That’s not cool, man. Be nice.

So much can be read into it, but that’s for another blog post for another time.

And of course, dumb-dumb me had to wait until the word was said out loud to realize that it was a play on the words “coven” and “convention.” So basically it’s a con episode. Cov episode? Whatever. Big brain hurt.

Relationships are a give and take and sometimes you gotta give in. Sorry, Eda.

I don’t know about you guys, but I never really had a lot of fun going to cons. The only part I really liked was meeting my favorite voice actors and watching indie wrestling. All the food, merch, and art was always overpriced and from shows I don’t watch. I don’t join video game tournaments because those people take the games way too seriously. Plus the area that I live in isn’t known for being big on nerd culture so the cons are never that impressive. I met Steve Blum last time and went to one and you can only go down from there so I don’t think I’ll be going to another one any time soon.

I caught this first time I saw it on TV. Luz and Willow arm in arm. Maybe in another life I would be shipping Luz & Willow. Maybe maybe. Also, Skara in the background. I think her design is really cute. Maybe she’ll get an episode in season two. Maybe maybe.

More lore and more worldbuilding which people really seemed to want and we got it. Eda explains that while covens seem like cool groups to belong to, they also strip you of all the other kind of magic you can do. Why? My theory was (and is) that about fifty years ago a bunch of religious and political hustlers got together and tried to figure out a way to control people. Really keep them in line. They knew that people were basically stupid and would believe anything you told them, so they announced that this one guy could talk to the titan that the Isles were based of off. This one guys says that only he could talk to the titan and hear what the titan was saying and that only he could do all kinds of magic. Everyone else is doing it wrong and only he’s doing it right. With no proof or evidence, but trust him he’s on the level. The Boiling Isles was just doing fine before him, but now all of a sudden, we’re all doing it wrong. Let that be a lesson to you, kids. If anyone tells you anything like that, it’s bullshit.

Also the nine covens. Why nine? Why not group the bard and illusionary covens together into the music video coven? Why does potions get its own coven? How much school do you really have to take to learn to mix shit together and stir? Wouldn’t the plant magic coven know something about using plants to make potions? Why does the construction coven get it’s own coven? Couldn’t you use any kind of magic to build things? Is the construction coven the blue collar coven? Beast keeping gets it’s own coven? Like the bitch at the plant coven needs to switch covens to be told to feed her dog? My theory, the nine covens was really a marketing decision. Ten sounds too official. They knew that if it was too neat and tidy, they’d know something was up. Would they though? I don’t think so. 

Any group that has their own stormtroopers is automatically evil. Even more proof that the coven system is bullshit.

“Distraction spell!”

This moment made me laugh so damn hard. The crap that Eda pulls is one of the highlights of the show for me.

Luz and Eda go check out The Emperor’s Coven panel in the main hall, and we’re introduced to another major character. Enter Lilith, Eda’s older sister. And I swear to you guys, I was so confused this entire time on who was the older and who was the younger sister until the season finale. Seriously, I kept getting mixed messages. I mean, I know now but give me a break here.

I think Lilith is a good character and a great foil to Eda. The fun part is that since they are sisters, Eda knows exactly how to push her buttons and drag Lilith down to her level. It’s always fun to see a stoic character break. 

My finger points.

Amity shows up which automatically makes this episode better. Luz properly introduces herself and we get more back-and-forth. Amity being a real bitch here is more to mislead us for the last act of the episode, but when I first saw it I thought it was more confirmation that Amity was going to be the Draco Malfoy-clone of the series. Glad I was wrong.

We get more of Luz trying to make life play out like her favorite stories and challenges Amity to a witch’s duel. A thing she read in Azura that she has no clue whether or not is a thing in The Boiling Isles. There’s an equal chance that Amity could have just shaken her head and be like, “The fuck is a witch’s duel? That sounds like something you just made up.”

Also Amity should have caught that Azura reference from the start, but then that kinda would have spoiled Lost in Language, huh?

Again, Luz needs to learn that life does not play out like it does in her favorite stories. Challenging your rival to a duel is cool on paper but a big “Yeah no” IRL. Especially since she knows no real offensive spells, no defensive spells, is a weak nerd who has probably never been in a real fight in her life and has no fighting spirit. Trust me guys I learned the hard way. Life is not a shonen anime. You can’t settle anything by fighting. 

I love mentor/mentee stories especially when they have a rival mentor/mentee pair. Too bad Dana has already said that Amity and Lilith were not close at all. It was more a relationship of convenience. But then again that would help witch whole foil angle. Lilith and Amity just use each other to get ahead while Eda and Luz do actually build a familial bond. 

The duel goes...exactly the way I thought it would. Honestly. The cheating, the whole fight just breaking down, even Lilith and Eda doing an actual witch’s fight. Totally saw it coming. What I didn’t see coming was the bad ass animation they used for the Lilith/Eda fight and...

The Amity scene. The big reveal that Amity is not a Draco Malfoy clone (I only saw the first four movies). She’s just a girl who thinks people should follow the rules, hates cheaters and is under a lot of pressure to succeed. Only someone as empathic as Luz and try to keep building that bridge and try to make things right with Amity, but that’s a whole other episode.

.

And the episode ends with another great lesson I really like. “Will I ever be a true witch?” “I don’t know. What’s a true witch?” There are always expectations and pressure put upon you to be a true something. Others will want you to conform into a label for one reason or another. But all those expectations and labels are just illusions. It reminds me of a Bruce Lee quote. When an interviewer asked Bruce if he considers himself Chinese or American, he answers that he considers himself, “a human being.”

Labels can be fun because it makes it easier for the brain to organize things, but when people put too much stock into these labels problems arise. Think of labels as a boat to get you across the river. Once you cross the river you leave the boat behind. You don’t carry the boat with you. That’s just dumb.

“Witch please”

FINAL SCORE: 5 - Loved it.

Hot take, Amity makes every episode better. More funny jokes, more worldbuilding, more Amity and hints at the main villain of the show. Lilith was a great addition and the episode hints at the main plot. Probably the most fun I’ve ever had at a con. And speaking of more Amity...

[wiener-soldiers]

how to (not) be internet famous - peter parker

summary: peter parker becomes internet famous overnight and doesn’t exactly know how to deal with it, which causes him to end up in a precarious situation.

words: 4k

warnings: rien, mes amis!

a/n: part of the unsolved mini-series! just wanted to write a lil blurb w some world building before i go into more ghost/ghoul hunting. also goes without saying that this is minimally edited, sorry lol

unsolved masterlist | masterlist | add yourself to the taglist! | faq

Peter Parker did not intend on becoming famous.

It was quite literally an accident—a byproduct of being in the right place in the right time. But, completely out of his control, Peter Parker helped solved an Unsolved mystery.

It was one of Buzzfeed Unsolved’s most viewed episodes; the story of Peter Quill, a little boy who went missing right after his mother died. Of course, one theory was that he was abducted by aliens. That was the joke theory.

Until Peter Parker and Y/N Stark proved that theory to be correct.

Being fans of the show, the duo was vaguely aware of the existence of Peter Quill, the mysterious boy who went missing. It wasn’t until Thor traveled back to Earth with the rest of the Guardians did Peter and Y/N recognize Peter Quill.

Of course, their first instinct was to interview him about how he got abducted and ask about some space stories. Their next instinct was to invite Ryan and Shane of the Unsolved Network to interview him as well.

This subsequently made the internet blow up. And Peter Parker became famous because of it.

The video titled “We Solved A Buzzfeed Unsolved Case” garnered millions of views overnight, with thousands of comments flooding the video. Peter’s Twitter went from less than a hundred followers to more than a hundred thousand overnight, and his Instagram blew up in a similar fashion.

He was used to Spider-Man being famous, but Peter Parker had never gotten that much attention before. It was surreal.

He found himself sitting on the brown leather couch at the Avengers Tower (where the Stark family alose happened to reside) the morning after the video was released, staring at his texts blow up in front of him.

Ned: Dude you’re famous?? You’re on the YT trending page!!

MJ: can i meet ryan and shane? also warning: flash and brad don’t know you’re dating y/n so their texts may be a little hostile…

Flash: Damn Parker, how do you know Y/N Stark???

Brad: Why haven’t you brought Y/N around?

Betty: Peter you HAVE to let me interview you for the school news! When are you free??

“What the hell is going on…” Peter whispers, jaw unhinged as notification after notification caused his phone to ‘ding’ out of control.

“Hey Pete,” he hears a voice flow into the living room. His girlfriend walks past him, not before pressing her lips to his cheek. His cheek warms at the contact and his eyes follow her pajama-clad body into the large kitchen.

“Did you see the video you posted?” Peter calls after her. Y/N shakes her head as she throws a banana along with other frozen fruit into the blender.

“No…why?” she calls back. “Do you want a smoothie?”

“No, but thank you,” Peter replies quickly. He turns his body to face her and raises his voice at the sound of the blender turning on, “It’s trending. Like, everywhere.”

“I figured it would,” Y/N calls back, the hum of the blender drowning her voice out.

“How are you so chill?” Peter asks her, slightly bewildered.

“There was paparazzi in the hospital waiting room when I was bored. You get used to stuff like that,” she answers, before making her way back to Peter, smoothie in hand. She positions herself on the couch, placing her legs overtop Peter’s lap.

He places his arms over her shins instinctively. “I’m definitely not used to stuff like that,” he mumbles, still scrolling through his notifications.

Y/N scoffs, “You’re Spider-Man, honey. That comes with press.”

“Spider-Man is famous, not me,” he counters.

The sound of the elevator opening and deep voices conversing cut the couple off as they turn towards the door. Tony, followed by Steve, Bucky, and Natasha file into the common floor, all deep in conversation. They don’t seem to notice the young couple, so Y/N decides to make them known.

“Morning!” Y/N calls out.

Tony’s head snaps up towards his daughter, before shifting and narrowing his eyes at Peter. “We were just talking about you,” he says, walking towards the two.

“Oh?” the younger Stark challenges.

Natasha lets out a soft laugh before patting Peter on the shoulder. “You need a public relations lesson,” she says to Peter.

“A what?”

Y/N lets out a fit of giggles. “It’s to make sure you don’t say something stupid to a large audience,” she tells him, and Peter scrunches his nose.

“Why would I need a…oh.”

Tony smirks at him before showing him his ever-rising Twitter followers. “Yeah, oh. That video you posted basically broke the internet. Even old man Steve is talking about it.”

Steve rolls his eyes but smiles sympathetically at him before handing him a grey folder. “Protecting Spider-Man’s identity is still your number one priority, right?” Steve asks and Peter nods. “So, we need to make sure you don’t say anything stupid or post something that gives away who your alias is.”

“So, what’s in the folder?” Peter asks the adults in the room.

“Homework,” Natasha answers. “I’ll help make sure that your identity stays a secret, but I need you to make sure you read that document very carefully. They’re full of general best-practices and protocol for if your identity is exposed.”

“Got it,” Peter whispers, mostly to himself.

“Great,” Tony says with a pat to his shoulder. “It was a funny video, by the way. Can’t wait to see what you kids come up with.”

Over the weekend, even though Natasha, Tony, and Y/N prepared him as best they could for the storm that would most likely ensue on Monday at school, Peter still didn’t feel prepared.

He stood in the middle of his room, gnawing at his lip and choosing between the dark blue sweater and the maroon sweater. Granted, the sweater wouldn’t make that much of a difference and hide the fact that Peter was still a big nerd, but he had a feeling he needed to make a good impression today.

“Babe, you are overthinking it,” Y/N mumbles from Peter’s bed. Like most weekends, she spent the night at Peter’s place. Although things do tend to get a little heated, most nights the couple just watch movies, play video games, or take a walk around the block.

“You’re not the one going to a public school,” Peter mumbles back. It was true; Tony had tried sending Y/N to Midtown, but the paparazzi was getting unbearable, so she took online classes instead. Y/N didn’t mind missing out on the high school experience—her life was so surreal that nothing could make her feel normal, except Peter or Morgan.

“That wasn’t what I meant,” Y/N groans and rolls out of bed. She shivers at the cool breeze caused by the AC being blasted on high as she wraps Peter’s flannel around her body even tighter. “I meant that you’ll look really good in whatever you wear, honey.”

Peter rolls his eyes but turns to face his girlfriend, dark blue and maroon sweater still in hand. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous,” he admits.

“Afraid everyone will look at you differently?”

“Afraid everyone will think I don’t deserve someone like you…”

Y/N gives him a soft smile before closing the gap between them. She peppers kisses along his shoulder, his neck, then finally his lips. Peter ducks down to look at her, wrapping his arms underneath the flannel she’s wearing and around her waist.

“I love you, ya know that right?” she whispers into his collarbone.

Peter hums in response.

“And the world doesn’t get to decide who or what you deserve. Because you deserve a hell of a lot more than what I can give you.”

Peter groans, “Don’t say that. You give me everything I need.”

“And that’s what matters,” Y/N replies. “Not what anyone else thinks. Okay?”

Peter pulls away and gives his girlfriend a sincere smile, “Okay.”

“Good,” she muses before pressing a final kiss to Peter’s lips. She then takes the maroon sweater from his hands. “Wear the dark blue sweater, I want to wear the maroon one.”

---

Despite Y/N’s encouraging words, Peter’s still nervous.

He’s nerves kick in as soon as Y/N has to leave his place while he packs his school bag. He’s nervous on the subway on the way to school. He’s nervous as he crosses the street towards campus. He’s nervous when he’s walking toward the school entrance, so much so that he can hear his heartbeat over the podcast he’s listening to. And he’s especially nervous when people openly gawk and stare at him as he makes his way to his locker.

Luckily, MJ and Ned are there to save him.

“They’re all staring,” MJ comments as Peter yanks his locker open and reaches for his calculus textbook.

Peter laughs nervously, “I’m aware.”

“You know that clique of really hot sophomores who won’t shut up at lunch?” Ned adds on as he stares at his phone, “They’re all thirsting over you on Instagram.”

Peter slams his locker shut in surprise, “Wh-what?”

Sure enough, Ned’s phone is filled with screenshots of the video on Allison’s Instagram story with the caption ‘hmu peter ;) or i may have to fake needing a tutor to talk to you.’

Peter gags. MJ snickers.

“Oh my god, this is awful,” Peter shudders as he turns around and makes his way to first-period calculus. Ned and MJ follow suite. “Don’t they know I’m dating someone?”

“Peter, if we barely knew you were dating someone until we met her and started handing out with her,” MJ deadpans.

“Speaking of your girlfriend,” Ned butts in, “are you going to tell her about Allison?”

“No, she’d probably laugh. And it’s not a big deal, right?” Peter answer honestly, smiling slightly at the thought of Y/N laughing her ass off at the thought of sophomores at his own school acting thirsty on main.

Ned stops dead in his tracks, “What if she was actually talking to you?”

“Ned, what—”

“Hi, Peter!” a high-pitched voice attempting to sound sultry cuts him off.

MJ laughs in amusement before walking away as Peter squeaks out, “H-hi, Allison.”

Ned pats his shoulder encouragingly before walking away, giving Peter a ‘you’re on your own’ look.

She bats her eyelashes at him, giving him a shy smile. Peter’s distracted by her bright pink outfit—she looked straight out of an early-2000s movie. It suited her, but it wasn’t really Peter’s preference.

“I watched your video, it was really funny,” Allison says, inching closer to Peter.

“Thanks, um look, I gotta go—”

“You doing anything tonight?” she immediately asks.

No, Peter thinks, but he racks his brain for an excuse. May is working so he can’t use her, Tony is at the Avengers’ Compound, MJ has art class, Ned is working on a group project, maybe Y/N…

It’s too late. “Great!” Allison quips, “I’m having a party tonight and you’re invited, hottie. I’ll AirDrop you the details.”

“Uh, thanks,” he mutters pathetically as she practically skips away.

It wasn’t just Allison’s invitation that stuck out to him; it seemed like everybody more popular than Peter was giving him some sort of attention. If Peter didn’t know better, we would’ve been flattered. Instead, he was suspicious.

By lunch, Peter had been invited to three parties, a football game, a boat ride, and more invitations to hangout than he could count. Even Mr. Harrington made a jab at Peter’s internet fame.

As soon as the bell rang, Peter bolted out of his English class and ran out the front gates to take a breath. Even as Spider-Man, public events often felt overwhelming. Now, with no excuse to leave and no disguise to hide his flustered expression, the few minutes of silence he had at beginning of lunch was the only break he got all day.

“You don’t look too hot, babe,” he hears a voice say. From his spot leaning against the railing of the school entrance, he lifts his gaze and finds Y/N Stark staring up at him from the bottom of the stairs.

He stands up immediately and meets Y/N halfway down the stairs. He smiles widens as he gets close to her, “What are you doing here?”

“MJ texted me—said you were feeling overwhelmed,” she says nonchalantly, but concern laces her features. “You doing okay?”

“Just not used to so many people giving Peter Parker attention. And the feeling that they probably just want to hang out with me because they want to be famous makes me icky.”

Y/N hums and reaches for his torso to give him a hug. Peter is on the step above her, so he wraps his arms around her shoulders and rests his chin on her head. “I know how you feel,” she mumbles.

Peter laughs half-heartedly, “Got invited to a shit ton of parties, though.”

Y/N chuckles into his chest, “Oh really?”

“One of which is tonight. Got any plans?”

“Hmm…maybe,” she tells him. “Dad wants me to be his plus one to a gala thing, but I don’t really want to go.”

“You’d rather go to a shitty high school party?”

“I’d rather do anything, honestly.”

A honk from a car parked on the curb catches their attention. Peter looks up and finds Happy peering his head through the window of a black sedan. “Hate to break you two up, but I really don’t want to be swarmed by high schoolers,” Happy shouts, “so we should get going, Y/N.”

Y/N sighs, “And, that’s my cue.”

“I’ll see you tonight, maybe?” Peter asks hopefully, pressing a kiss on her forehead.

“Maybe. Text me the address, but don’t bail on the party,” Y/N tells him before giving Peter a proper kiss. Another honk from Happy causes them to break away, followed by the school doors opening and more and more people filtering outside. A series of shocked gasps at Y/N Stark and Peter Parker in such a compromising position prompt Y/N to start walking down the stairs.

“See you, Peter,” Y/N shouts as she quickly makes her way down the steps.

Peter waves to Y/N in the passenger seat as her and Happy drive away. His phone the buzzes with a text from Y/N:

Y/N 🥰: hang in there bb, love you!

“Yo, dickwad!” Peter hears Flash shout from behind him, “Why didn’t you introduce me to your Stark friend?”

Peter sighs. This was going to be a long day.

---

“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.”

“I want to May…it’s just that—”

“It’s just that you want Y/N there?”

Peter sighs and shakes his head. He sits in the passenger seat of May’s car as she’s parked outside Allison’s house where the party is taking place. He’s beyond uncomfortable: the girl who was shamelessly flirting with him was sending him DMs, asking him when he was going to show up to her party. His skinny jeans—the nice ones saved for special occasions—were still a little stiff because he never really wore them, and he’s sure he’s made sweat stains on his white t-shirt.

“I guess, I just want the high school experience, to feel normal. Even if it’s a fake normal,” Peter says honestly, fiddling with his hair in the mirror. “But everything is easier with Y/N around.”

“Did she answer your texts?”

“I sent her the address and she said she would try to find an excuse to leave the gala early, but I don’t know if she’s gonna make it,” Peter says dejectedly.

May nods understandingly, “If you want to leave, just send me an SOS. I’ll come pick you up.”

“Thanks, May,” he says before pressing a kiss to her cheek. He doesn’t feel his body move, but his feet carry him out of the car and towards the front steps of the house. He doesn’t realize he’s reached for the door until he’s already inside, looking around at the darkened house illuminated by colourful lights and blaring with music.

“Peter!” he hears someone call from the top of the stairs. It’s Allison, clad in a sheer top, lacy bralette, and tight leather pants. He tries not to gawk at her, but he gulps in nervousness as she approaches.

“You made it!” she exclaims over the rumbling bass. Without warning she pulls Peter into a hug, pressing her body close to his. His muscles tense in surprise, but he feels Allison shiver.

Fucking great, Peter thinks as Allison eyes him up and down, biting her lip.

“Do you want a drink?” Allison says, latching onto his bicep and guiding him further into the house.

“Um, sure,” Peter says as he tries to remove his arm from her grasp while still remaining subtle. He fails, and Allison proceeds to run her nails up and down his arm.

Someone shoves a solo cup in Peter’s hand, and he takes a few big gulps immediately. His powers can’t get drunk, but he can sure as hell try if he has to handle Allison’s not-so-subtle advances towards him all night.

“I’m glad you came,” Allison suddenly whispers in his ear before biting his ear lobe in an attempt at seduction.

Peter whips his head around to confront her but before he can say anything, she’s left him to chat with her friends who have been watching the whole interaction in jealousy and awe. Great, Peter thinks before wiping his earlobe clean of her spit.

The party isn’t too bad; a few games of beer pong are going on the patio and people are taking turns jumping into the pool in just their underwear. Peter makes small talk with some people he recognizes, but for the most part, he leans against the wall and watches Flash pretend to be good at beer pong. Every few minutes, he checks the time on his phone and hopes for a text.

At 9:15, Peter has been at the party for forty-five minutes and is on his third drink. He still doesn’t feel buzzed.

At 9:24, Allison checks up on him again and tries to get him to strip with her and jump into the pool. He declines.

At 9:32, Flash loses his third game of beer pong in a row and a heard of angry freshmen finally scare him away from the table.

At 9:47, he hears excited commotion inside the house. He doesn’t bother to look inside and instead stares at the amber liquid in his cup.

He feels a hand fall on his shoulder, and he groans, finally fed up with Allison’s antics. “Look Allison, I think you’re sweet and all but—”

“Who’s Allison?”

Peter’s face breaks into a huge smile at the sight of Y/N Stark, still in her formal evening wear. The dark green, straight gown falls to the floor and the simple dress is bedazzled by nothing except the gold necklace Peter got her for her birthday and the million-dollar Stark smile.

“You made it,” he says in relief and excitement.

Y/N smirks back, “I’m overdressed.”

“You look beautiful.”

Y/N examines Peter’s outfit, “You look good too. This shirt makes your arms look huge.”

Peter blushes but takes a hold of her hands, only half-aware that half of the party is probably staring at them right now. “I didn’t think you were going to make it.”

Y/N laughs, “We were stuck in traffic. Dad wanted to get out of there too, it was pretty boring. We had to drop him off at home, first.”

“You left a boring party to come to another boring party, then. The difference is that you don’t get free dinner over here.”

Her laugh draws more attention to the duo and Peter finally finds the balls to look at the decent-sized crowd accumulating around them. He then notices a familiar face push through the people.

“Oh my god, you’re Y/N Stark!” Allison gushes as she approaches her, “Can I get a picture with you?”

Y/N smiles at her, “Um, sure?”

Allison squeals and shoves her phone into someone’s face, demanding them to take her picture. After a few photos are taken, Allison grabs her arms giddily and says, “You should totally follow me on Insta, these pics turned out really cute.”

Y/N looks amusedly at her, “Yeah, for sure…”

Allison then gasps, “You know Peter, too! We go to school together.” Allison then wraps her arms around Peter’s bicep and Y/N and Peter lock eye contact; Peter looks at Y/N in a state of panic and Y/N looks at Peter with nothing but amusement.

“Yeah, I figured,” she tells her, the amused expression growing.

Allison gasps again, “Peter! We should get a picture together too!”

Before he can really process it, Allison is pulling Peter close and shoving her phone in front of their faces. As Allison makes several different selfie faces, Y/N laughs softly as Peter smiles awkwardly at the camera. Suddenly, the feeling of lip-glossed lips touches his cheek and Peter raises his eyebrows in surprise and watches as Allison presses a kiss to his cheek in front of his girlfriend and what seemed like half the party. Her kisses trail down his neck, jaw, and ear before Peter finally gets over his initial shock and laughs awkwardly.

“Okay, um. That was kinda weird, Allison. You see, I’m ac—”

Allison juts her lip out and pouts, “But these were turning out so cute, Petey!”

Y/N Stark finally breaks out into a fit of hysterical laughter and both Peter and Allison turn to her with a bewildered expression.

“What?” Allison asks accusingly, thinking that she’s being mocked.

“Honey, he’s not interested.”

Allison’s jaw unhinges, “And how would you know?”

“Sweetheart, you’d be embarrassed if I told you.”

She scoffs. “Try me.”

“I’m dating Peter.”

Allison’s eyes bulge. The group of people watching the interaction gasp. Peter chokes on his own spit.

Allison’s face suddenly gets very, very red. “Miss Stark, I’m so, so sorry—"

Y/N holds out a hand to stop her rambling. “Don’t worry about it, love. If I wasn’t already dating him, I would be all over him, too,” she quips before grabbing Peter’s hand and leading him out of the party.

“E-erm, bye! Thanks for inviting me,” Peter calls back as Y/N leads him out of the house and towards the black sedan where the driver was waiting for the two to be done partying.

“All things considered, I would call that a pretty tame first fan interaction,” Y/N tells him as they walk towards the car. Her arm is wrapped around his torso as she leans her cheek on Peter’s shoulder. 

Peter’s arm slings around her shoulders and looks down at her face. Her eyes twinkle in the moonlight and her features are light with amusement. “You’re not mad?” he asks her.

“Why would I be mad?”

“Because another girl was kissing me in front of you. And that you had to out our relationship.”

“Not a valid reason to be mad, to be honest. She didn’t know, and our relationship was bound to get out anyway.”

Peter laughs lightly, “You’re amazing, you know that?”

Y/N hums, “Yeah, I know. But so are you. And don’t worry, after a few weeks, the whole school will be a little chiller about your internet fame.”

A week later, Y/N and Peter uploaded a video where they went ghost hunting with Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes and it broke the internet yet again. Needless to say, the whole school was not very chill about it.

[allthefilmsiveseenforfree]

Teen Witch

Controversial opinion: stories about witches are the best stories. Just look at WandaVision - bitches ate that UP because it’s about WITCHES, which means it’s ultimately about loss and trauma and female (literal) empowerment in the face of those tragedies (and I mean there’s some complicated stuff in there about inflicting trauma upon others, even accidentally, and that’s kind of a witch thing too). And Sabrina is all well and good and everything, but what if you want your witch story to be a little less Dark Arts and a little more candy-coated? Have I got the film for you! Wes requested Teen Witch as part of his quest to expand my cheesy 80s cult classic knowledge, and boy did this one deliver. How 80s-tastic are we talking? Well...

The basic story is this: Louise (Robyn Lively) is a typical teen girl who occupies the nerd level of the high school hierarchy. You know the type - soft-spoken, nerdy best friend, has a crush on the cutest guy in school (Dan Gauthier), made fun of in gym class by all the cheerleaders. One day she crashes her bike in front of a psychic’s home/place of business and goes inside to use the phone, but gets her palm read first. The psychic, named Madame Serena, (Zelda Rubenstein, playing, I’m assuming, herself) tells her she will soon come into some witchy powers on her 16th birthday. When Louise’s birthday rolls around, you guessed it - witching aplenty. She gets the popularity, she gets the cute guy, she ditches her nerdy friend; it’s basically The Princess Diaries without Queen Julie Andrews. But then, y’know, she learns a valuable lesson about the high price of popularity and how important it is to be true to yourse--wait, no she doesn’t, she takes off her magic necklace and smooches with the boy she likes at the school dance and that’s how it ends.

Some thoughts:

This slow motion credit sequence is incredible. See, we just don’t have this anymore, where the movie starts and you have no fucking idea what’s going on. The 80s really knew how to draw an audience in. Is this a dream? Is this a music video? No one knows! That’s why it’s exciting!

Why are tv and movies so obsessed with a completely made-up depiction of what takes place outside a high school’s entrance before the first bell? Apparently there’s a busker festival going on at this high school every day - there’s guys doing BMX tricks, an all white rap group, I think I saw some jugglers.

I’ve actually taught in both middle and high school, so I know this English teacher (Shelley Berman) wouldn’t be fired for being such a shitty teacher, but he should be. 

Is this like...a musical? First there was the terrible rapping, now there are cheerleaders doing “the new cheer” which is literally a song just saying “I...LIKE...BOYS!” and there’s a dance routine on top of lockers - there’s a lot of towel choreography. It feels like a musical in the sense that it’s nonsensical, but I don’t actually think it IS a musical. Genre-defying!

It’s kinda creepy that Louise is watching an extended montage of Brad (Gauthier) working out shirtless from the shadows but like...same, girl. Damn, Brad.

Aw, at least Brad is reasonably nice. Louise, show some backbone! You shouldn’t have been too proud to let him drive you home after he ran you off the road on your bike accidentally!

I am just mystified by the market for roles that were appropriate for Zelda Rubenstein in the 80s. What is this niche? Which came first, Zelda Rubenstein, or these characters? 

I am also mystified by this gremliny little brother (Joshua John Miller) who seems to be obsessed with eating cake and never washing his hair. He’s like a goblin trapped in a diminutive nonbinary body made of pizza and spite. [ETA: I now feel a little bad for finding him so repellent in this, as the actor wrote one of my favorite meta horror movies, The Final Girls, in 2015. So at least he grew up and made something cool of himself.]

OMFG did Brad just hit the soda machine for her like the fucking Fonz? 

There is (temporarily) a Very Good Dog who is not harmed in any way.

In what universe does Louise see what her date, David (Jared Chandler), is wearing and be like “he’s such a geek” when she looks like an extra from Leave it to Beaver. 

The DJ just said “OK guys, grab your wallets, it’s a slow song.” What...does that even mean? Is he implying that slow dances are expensive? Ooh or even more nefarious, that there’s a rampant pickpocketing problem during slow dances?

Did Louise...just imply that the number of light years away a star is dictates how soon a wish you make on that star would come true? Listen. I’m no astrophysicist. But I have read enough Neil Degrasse Tyson tweets to know that that’s not how any of this works. 

OK I take back what I said, David is a fucking CREEP. Drag his ass, Louise. However, I think she may have straight up murdered him by making him disappear. David is never seen or heard from again in this film. 

Obsessed with the dad’s sweaters both because they are ridiculous and because he is the lesser Darren from the original Bewitched. 

It feels weird that Louise’s revenge involves forcing Mr. Weaver to take his clothes off in front of the class.Who wants that? Like I get that it’s humiliating for him, but really, you’re only punishing yourself here Louise. 

There is a rap-off that is meant to convey electric sexual tension between two nerdy ass white kids. 

I don’t know what it was like at your school, but I can tell you for sure that at my high school no one ever applauded when the most popular girl in school walked into the classroom like she’s Kramer making an entrance on Seinfeld.

Why is Brad taking her to an abandoned house in the middle of nowhere? And why is she wearing heels?

Oh god she took the heels off and now she’s barefoot in this decrepit house, that’s so much worse! TETANUS EXISTS LOUISE.

Wait are they going to fuck in the abandoned house? Brad has a girlfriend! You brought heels, but did you bring condoms?? I guess she has bigger concerns than tetanus now. Also I feel so bad for these actors, they are both DRIPPING sweat. That must have been a miserable shoot.

I’ve said this before, but the 80s were such an incredible time for himbo fashion. Crop tops, those tank tops with the giant holes for the arms, teeny little basketball shorts. In the 90s all we had were JNCOs and weirdly “urbanized” Looney Tunes characters on baggy t-shirts. Gen X has no idea how good they had it re: male fashion. 

I’m genuinely obsessed with the idea that popularity means the school just has banners all over that say “LOUISE” and she gets like, cards and fan mail that say “Louise U R the best.” This feels like if you ask a kindergartner what being popular means.

Madame Serena just said “the real magic is believing in yourself” which is exactly what Louise’s dad said like 15 minutes ago, but I guess he wasn’t a 3-foot-tall witch so no one paid attention when he said it. 

Y’know for an 80s prom outfit, Louise’s dress is pretty cute. 

I cannot stress enough that Brad’s girlfriend is at this dance while he and Louise are kissing! Does no one care? Were high school attitudes toward monogamy just way more flexible in the 80s? 

Did I Cry? Shyeah, right. 

This is such an odd, mostly charming, but wildly perplexing little movie. There was no antagonist or real conflict here, at all. Louise barely struggles with any sort of tension or remorse about having her powers and what it means for her life, she just kind of decides at the end that she’s over it, and she still gets the guy and no actual negative consequences from bending the entire school to her will for the past few months. I mean, in The Craft, when people use magic for their own gains, other people fucking DIE. I was definitely entertained, but a lot of it was due to me saying, “What? How? What?” loudly at the screen. I can see how this has gained a cult following in much the same way that other oddball 80s fare like Better Off Dead or Girls Just Wanna Have Fun did. Watch it once, then watch it again while you get drunk with your friends (in a post-Covid world, obviously) and you’ll probably have a pretty great time. 

If you liked this review, please consider reblogging or subscribing to my Patreon! For as low as $1, you can access bonus content and movie reviews, or even request that I review any movie of your choice.

[revchainsaw]

Bumblebee (2018)

Good Evening worshippers, and welcome! Today the Cult of Cult goes a little more mainstream than usual. It's been a while since i've tackled a big Hollywood superhero film. But I do believe that these sorts of films will be remembered fondly my small groups of people in the future, especially the smaller films that are being overshadowed by the big bad MCU, films like 2018s Bumblebee.

The Messsage

Bumblebee was originally released as a prequel to the Transformers franchise that had started all the way back in 2007. However, reboots had really hit the market as a way to breath new life into struggling franchises, and the Transformers series had already gone to just about every absurd extreme you could imagine. No changes were made to the movie as it was released, but with it's more childish and heartfelt tone, and a new aesthetic that was softer, smoother, and all around just generally more pleasing to the eye, I think it was a wise choice to rebrand Bumblebee as a new beginning.

Our story is of two friends from two very different worlds and how they came together. Our first character is Bumblebee, then known as B- number sign/it doesn't really matter. Not yet Bumblebee is a soldier set with securing a safe location for the Autobots to regroup and make their home as they suffer a pretty serious defeat on cybertron at the hands of the tyrannical Decepticons. Optimus Prime, here again voiced by Peter Cullen and looking so much more like himself, assigns this task to Bumblebee promising him that they will meet him there when the time comes. Then Optimus fucks off for the rest of the run time making way for our little hero.

Bumblebee lands on Earth and is immediately set upon by John Cena and his military goon squad. It probably would have been wise for Bumblebee to avoid John Cena but in his defense, he couldn't see him. Hardy har har. In his attempt to flee his voice box is damaged, he seeks sanctuary by taking the form of a run down little VW bug, and suffers from amnesia.

Then we have Charlie. Charlie is not like other girls. She likes cars, all the retro music, which wasn't retro when the movie takes place, so I'm supposed to just think she's a rocker but it kinda seems like she'll listen to just about anything. I think in 2018 liking Motorhead and The Smiths (who are used ad nauseum in this movie) is perfectly common, but I feel like in the 80s that was a much different and much older attitude to take.

Anyway Charlie's poor family lives in a super fucking nice house and are poor because the dialogue keeps insisting they are so it must be true despite all the shit they have that actually poor people would sell blood and teeth to attain, but hell, this is Hollywood and Hollywood poor is like regular people upper middle class. Charlies family is so poor that instead of giving her a one time graduation/birthday present to buy a part for a car she already has, they just give her a moped, She also spends all her time at a pull apart where the manager (who might be her uncle that wasn't super clear) is willing to just give her a Volkswagen so I don't understand why she didn't already have the project car up and running. Whatever, it's a plot contrivance. All you need to know is that Charlie is tenacious and hard around the edges cuz her dad is dead and she's not yet mature enough to process that in a healthy way. Maybe her character arch will teach her to let others in, we'll have to find out.

There's also a wacky nerd named Memo, and some bad guys, and John Cena. They are all also pretty archetypal and contrived and don't really do anything of note that isn't just filling a beat that this kind of movie needs to walk. Charlie starts Bumblebee up, discovers he's a robot and the two begin to bond. Charlie learns to make a friend, and bumblebee is learning about himself. They get into hijinks and get revenge on a bully girl who makes Regina George look like a saint, she pretty much only picks on Charlie exclusively for having a dead dad.

The moment Bumblebee is woken back up, some technology goof em up that both he and Charlie are unaware of brings two Decepticon baddies into the picture. I don't remember their names, but since I love The Venture Brothers let's say they can be "Jet Boy and Jet Girl". Jet Boy and Jet Girl are sometimes cars, sometimes various flying military vehicles, and they make friends with the deep state and plan to get all the adrenochrome from all the orphans, or just to go find Bumblebee and beat his ass good cuz their bad guys. Let me tell y'all though, Jet Boy and Jet Girl are so bad that they don't even care that the government is listening when they reveal that they are planning on bringing a Decepticon Invasion and after they rough up Bumblebee real good they are going to destroy all life on this planet. So they start by killing a military scientist.

John Cena is after Bumblebee and he's homies with Jet Boy and Jet Girl until the military scientist butt dials him and he hears the evil plan. John Cena goes from heel to face and helps Bumblebee and Charlie save the day. It's a giant CG clusterfuck climax a la any superhero film in the last 10 years and I basically stopped watching. BumbleBee pulls a Hellraiser on Jet Boy, and then he hits Jet Girl with a freaking boat. Charlie uses her diving skills do dive down and save him, but he's a Giant Robot and he was okay and it was literally pointless for her to to except as a way to show that her character has completed her arch by doing the thing that was representative of her connection with her lost father.

Bumblebee turns into the Camaro from the first movie, meets up with Optimus prime, and the stage is set for this prequel to squeeze more prequels out. So it wasn't very creative, but was it bad? Let's find out.

Please Stand to receive the Benediction.

Best Aspect: Transform the Franchise

Bumblebee was directed by Travis Knight of Laika fame and it shows. This movie marks a stylistic change in the transformers franchise, as in it doesn't look like utter dog shit, but it also represents in many ways a tonal shift. It does hold on to a lot of gross sleaze that has unfortunately been forcibly jammed into the DNA of the franchise but it also attempts to be a more heartfelt entry. The characters of Bumblebee might all be sort of a waste of time, but at least they are doing something with emotions, even if the emotions of the characters are only explored as deeply as a children's cartoon I'm glad they are there. In the previous installments the only thing the characters did between running from action piece to seizure inducing action piece was drool over underage girls like a bunch of chimpanzees at the facility where they test experimental E.D. meds. It was nice to see that at least somewhat tampered. This transformers movie feels more like it's for kids and young teenagers, and strangely that more friendly tone makes for a much less juvenile product.

Worst Aspect: Remember I Love the 80s from the 2000s

I hope you really like Stranger Things. I do, but because Stranger Things was so successful it' s going to be everywhere. Not true Stranger Things just 80s nostalgia porn. This 80s nostalgia is going to be forced on you whether you like it or not, and it's not going to be fun. It's gonna be in your shows, in your music, in your Sunday like Bacon in 2010. It's that or Marvel Franchise Brand Whedonisms. Bumblebee is that brave movie that says, "Why not both?" It would seem fitting that a property as quintessentially 80s as Transformers should feel completely comfortable doing a period piece set in the 80's but it's so fucking half hearted it's depressing. It wasn't done to appreciate the roots of the IP, it was done to cash in on a trend and it feels it. All they did was throw up a date and insufferably force an 80s soundtrack down your throat as if that was enough to convince you that this movie needed to be set during this time. Other than that you could have told me this film was set in 2007 and I couldn't tell you any different.

Best Character: Charlie's an Angel

I liked Charlie. Sure her Arc is predictable, her taste is dumb, and she isn't exactly a master of her own destiny to any degree. But at least she is a woman in a transformers movie who's got something going on. Sure she's defined entirely by grief, but that sure is better than pretending that being able to work on cars is a feminist character trait instead of a weird fetish thing. They certainly do that thing with Charlie, but at least it's not the only thing they throw at the wall. Bumblebee is by no means out of the woods in this department, but it garners a lot of goodwill for trying. Like a racist uncle who just started his journey out of ignorance, but hasn't yet realized he has to stop asking mortifying questions to the barista at Starbucks. Okay, maybe that's an extreme metaphor. I'm saying that perhaps Charlie is not a great character but she's a great character for a Transfomers movie.

Worst Character: It's JOOOOHHHNNNN CEEEENA!!!!

Why is John Cena in this movie? I don't hate the guy, but his character seems pointless. You could remove him from the movie completely and replace him with any one of the random military goons at any point and it changes nothing. What was with that dumb salute at the end? It seems like they put him in this movie in post and it was just to pump up cast list. I wish he was given anything to work with. I can't remember his characters name, and it's not like John Cena did a bad job, I was just annoyed every time they kept giving him hero shots. I felt like I was watching a trailer for a different movie.

Best Actor: Optimal Primo!

Every time Peter Cullen speaks I want to listen. There's a reason they haven't had Chris Pratt or somebody with a bigger name come in and take over the role at this point. He's why the audience keep coming back. Peter Cullen IS Optimus Prime, and there's no changing that. He also wins twice. He's the best actor in the movie AND he's barely in the movie. Good call Peter.

Worst Actor: Mean Girls 2, Meaner and Girlier

I don't want to be cruel so I'm not going to go into to much detail, but there's an actress in this film who's performance is so mustache twirlingly evil and stupid that it ruined my suspension of disbelief when i knew going in that i was about to endure a 2 hour toy commercial about robots that turn into cars. Beldar Conehead was a more convincing human being than Tina.

Best Effect: Goo Be Gone

I really appreciated when the bad guys shot the government nerd into a blast of snot. That was pretty fun for me. Best part of the movie hands down.

Worst Effect: Live Action?

Bumblebee is a cartoon. It's a great looking cartoon but it doesn't sell itself that way. If we were doing a Roger Rabbit thing I'd have no gripes. However, I think CG is just getting worse. I'm criticizing this and it's still lightyears better than the previous entry's on the franchise. No transformation or fight sequence in Bumble Bee had me straining to make sense of what I was looking at. I think it was a great idea to start using some basic shapes and outlines to these characters, and return somewhat to their 80s designs. But at certain points, especially when there were no humans in the shot, i was pretty convinced I was watching Clone Wars. There may not be anyway around this, as the Transformers concept might not be able to be pulled off in any more effective manner. It's a minor gripe, but I just didn't think it looked like anything other than a very expensive cartoon, and in this franchise that's a compliment, because it least it looked like SOMETHING!

Best Scene: Space Opera

I am not a Transformers fan. I missed the boat on the cartoon as a kid. I would sometimes catch it at friends houses but I was more into Batman, Star Wars, and Ninja Turtles. By the time I came onto the scene the world had moved on to Beast Wars. I did one day arbitrarily decide that my favorite Transformer was Sound Wave. He looked great in this. I am a big fan of the return to form with a lot of the character designs in this. They really did keep the things that worked from the other adaptations, and they are steadily removing the things that didn't. For this reason, the scenes on Cybertron, particularly the battle with Soundwave (i prefer for personal reasons) looked great and were exciting to watch. I remember thinking Cybertron used to look like a Marilyn Manson shot a music video from inside to dumpster. This is so much better.

Worst Scene: Blocking the Box

There's a scene in Bumblebee where Charlie's family decides the best way to save their daughter was to cause a pile up of vehicles in an intersection, and it's pure contrived writing that saved any character in that sequence from being killed in a horrific traffic accident. It was stupid, played for laughs, and it wasn't exciting as much as it was anxiety inducing. I also thought that there was no reason the covert military group covering up extraterrestrial life wouldn't just disappear this family of fucking morons in their little piece of shit car. The logic of the scene was just so childish like, "No they won't hit me, I'm a good person."

Summary

Bumblebee may be remembered fondly in a decade. I think especially if the Transformers franchise were to end here. It didn't get the publicity of the other films, and that really is a shame. For my money, this was the best Transformers movie so far. I was very tempted to give Bumblebee a C, it does just enough to right what was wrong from the other movies to make me appreciate all that work. This movie has heart, and if you are at all into Transformers then l think you should see it. It's still pretty stupid, and pretty basic. It's not offering anything new to the genre, and it feels like a commercial for more movies. I really wish we could just get movies that want to tell a story. I thought it over and decided that it wasn't fair not to grade Bumblebee on it's own merits. Bumblebee is substantially better than the films that preceded it, but that's not saying a lot, when the films that preceded it are joyless exercises in self abuse.

Overall Grade: D

[lynndoublelegacy]

just a cool dnd meme i saw

Yook so it’s less a meme and more like. a big ol questionare but hey, might as well do it. originally saw it on @/probablyottrpgideas, go check them out

1. Game Master, Player, or both? Why?

Ok so technically I’ve DMed twice but I really don’t find it fun? and don’t ever want to do it again. so. Player. I like building characters and their connections with fellow PCs more than building worlds

2. When did you start roleplaying? How old were you?

oh god, if we’re talking about roleplaying in general? I’ve been doing it basically as long as I can remember. As a kid I would play House, and then once I got older in like 5th grade I actually started making characters and playing out their stories with friends. Google+ is what made me realize this was actually like, a THING, though, and I got into some roleplaying groups there, then on DevaintArt. Dungeons and Dragons is a newer development? I got into it in late 2018 when my sister’s friend invited us to a one-shot, and... well, yea, I got hooked lol

3. What was the first roleplaying book you ever owned?

dude, bold of you to assume I really own any. I don’t have that kind of money and literally only own the Guide to Wildemount, and that was a gift

4. Describe the first game you ever ran or played in.

I mean... it’s not a game but ima describe the one shot, bc my first campaign was a hot mess without a true storyline and I used the same character for it anyway. I played a tiefling bard called Aisling Kai (I didn’t know this was a cliche combo at this point, and I honestly played her like a rogue with a music motif but Whatever) and we were a little group tasked to figure out why the hell anyone who goes into this cave never comes out. So we go in, make our way through the dungeon, fight some frog people (I made one of their ears bleed just by getting a nat 20 on a performance check to play a high f# on flute, that was fun, FWEET), and turns out yep, theres a hill giant down here. We kicked his ass and collapsed the cave on top of us (dw I think we were fine but my memory is a little screwy)

5. What system did you grow up with? / 6. Which system do you play now?

i learned on and currently play dnd 5e. I don’t really know anything else, but I’m debating checking out Vampire of the Masquerade.

7. Longest campaign you’ve run or played in?

That would be my Tal’Dorei campaign group, aka The Fatefallen! Started in the Fall of 2019 and still going to this day, just played our 45th session last week. I play Ilia Liadon, the drow grave cleric, and the only member of our party who has been there for every single session since the beginning.

8. Where did you meet your current gaming group?

...well first I feel the need to mention that I have 3 different groups (2 of them are on hiatus now for pandemic related reasons but! we’re still groups). My first group (with Aisling) was formed slowly over time as friends adopted friends into the group, I think it started as a school club? but that didn’t last long. The other two started from a different school club as well, though one has since branched out into other people as well. 

9. Strategic combat or dramatic plotlines?

I am a roleplayer first and a gamer second. Give me all of the backstories and dramatic plotlines. Don’t get me wrong, I still like combat, but story takes precedent for me.

10. Favorite RPG genre?

I don’t tend to define myself by genre? But I tend to fall into more of a fantasy, at most arcanapunk style. Give me all of the magic, and magic powered tech.

11. Your first character.

I got into her a little bit earlier, but my first character was Aisling, aka Calypso Kai. She was a homebrew subclass bard with a criminal background, who honestly? should’ve been a rogue. I’ve since rebuilt her into an Assassin Rogue/College of Eloguence Bard multiclasser, but this iteration was like. Baby her, baby me new to dnd, I did not know what I was doing. She tried to be edgy, but my mom energy came through HARD and she just. Never really had a set characterization. She deserves better and I plan on playing her better sometime in the future.

12. Your favorite character.

You are making me choose between my children. BUT, if I had to pick, either Ilia Liadon, or! Ashe Wednesday, a protector aasimar drunken master monk and my profile picture. Ashe also deserved a lot better from their campaign, so I have a massive soft spot for them, they were made during a really tough time in my life (as was Ilia) and was going through an equally rough time in-game, since I made them for a Curse of Strahd campaign without understanding what I was getting into. They’re my little rebellious asshole and I love them dearly, someone get this kid therapy. Ilia, on the other hand, is just... she’s a comfort character for me at this point. mostly soft edges, such a mom- while Ashe was me yelling “come at me” at the world while crying, Ilia was just... embracing it. Making it better. basically, if they actually existed, I would die for both of them.

13. Your most ridiculous character.

I don’t usually play super ridiculous characters, but! I would say Keothi “Bookfinder” Vaimeil counts. She was basically me looking all of the goliath barbarian stereotypes in the eye, and going “nah. she’s a nerd.” She’s literally a massive puppy dog, just the sweetest big old thing, sitting in her house and reading all the books she can get her hands on in order to make up for her amnesia. Oh, and did I mention that she’s a zombie? ...yea. She’s wacky, but I love her.

14. The best in-character line you’ve ever had.

“I need sleep. I don’t even sleep and I need sleep.”

~Ilia, after a particularly tough fight and an emotionally draining day

15. Your most epic death.

Ok so... none of my characters in game have ever actually died during the storyline? Keothi obviously has in her backstory, and Ilia might have in hers as well, it was never explicitly stated, but during the game? Nope. Ashe got stupid close, but nope. Since Keothi is my only death period, and her death was pretty epic, I’m just gonna describe that. Her parents and siblings in her Goliath tribe had all fallen ill, so she decided to go searching for a possible cure, and ended up getting conned into helping this cult, since they said they would cure her family. Turns out, yea, they were lying, they just needed a goliath willing to sacrifice themselves with a cursed sword. They made the mistake of revealing this before Keothi was actually dead, so as she was dying, she brought the entire goddamn cultist temple down to the bottom of the sea and took the cultists with her. The sword was why she was undead, in the Shadowfell, and couldn’t remember anything.

16. Your most disappointing death. 

As mentioned, I’ve never died in campaign, but I feel like I have to mention this one that happened to our party in Curse of Strahd. We were in the death house, all 5 of us, still level 1, and our barbarian falls into a pit trap with spikes. None of us realize she’s actually dead, so we send out paladin down to get her... with the monk, the bard, and the warlock holding the rope. ....yea both of them died.

17. Something that shouldn’t have worked, but it did.

I’m stuck between two options for this one. First one was the time our water genasi paladin/rogue bloodbended our gnome cleric into a bridge to keep her from falling all the way down a ravine. The second time was when our party managed to defend a small seaside town from a pirate raid with just an NPC with Control Water, a ballista, ourselves, and some explosives. Neither should’ve worked, but both did. Having a triton in your party can really come in clutch in a seaside campaign.

18. Something that went hilariously awry.

I have one that’s hilarious and one that’s horrifying. Hilarious one: in my first ever campaign, someone from Aisling’s backstory popped up and our sorcerer went “that’s shady” (to be fair, he was) and then went to investigate BY HIMSELF. He obviously got kidnapped by the mafia, and then we went all stealth mission to break him out. Stealth was immediately abandoned after our other bard used a SCREAMING SWORD to break open the locks, then we proceeded to go out the way we came, setting everything on fire on the way out, and with our bard lying their way out the front door (with the rest of us in tow as “prisoners”) by pretending to be a fellow mafia member. It was great. Horrifying one: Ilia tries to Send to a member of the party who left in order to let him know that a fellow party member had died. Forgot that he left bc his mind was invaded by a previously dead, very evil old god, and ends up trapped there with him for a while. Ended up with all of our main spellcasters trapped in their own heads while the barbarian paced around worriedly and the rogue decided he was going to get smashed instead of worrying himself silly.

19. Your most memorable in-character moment.

There are a LOT in Ilia’s campaign, but! If I had to pick one, it would actually be a pretty recent one involving Ilia and our party’s wizard, Liara. They’re basically the embodiment of head vs heart? Anyway, Liara is currently suffering from something called magic corruption, though idk if suffering is the right word. Anyway! It basically resulted in her getting... possessed? by her own magic during the night during Ilia’s watch, and they had a really, really interesting conversation regarding guilt, death, and grief, and yea basically I love them. Honorable mention to our druid’s death (he’s back and better now, but that was my first long-time death in a game, we didn’t know he was coming back) and also the moment that Ilia realized that her childhood bff/crush had been revived in a new body and that this NPC was her best friend. That was a trip.

20. The coolest item you ever got and how you came to possess it.

I got this item in the revamp of my first ever campaign and nothing has topped it since which is Sad but hey. Anyway! I got this really cool, possibly cursed dagger after I threw a knife at an absolutely eldritch being and it got stuck in him as he transformed. It looked really badass, and allowed me to cast Inflict Wounds on occasion when I stabbed someone with it. So yea, we love that. Honorable mention to my paladin/bloodhunter’s Helm of the Aberrant Gladiator which allows you to basically do a bunch of fear based affects and psychic stuff.

Numbers 21 through 30 don’t apply to me but. yea. enjoy this summary of my dnd history I guess

[selfindulgentpoorlywritten]

Smug (Mitch Marner Imagine)

Finally posting the first part of the Mitch imagine! It’ll be four parts, but I won’t make any promises on when the next part will be out, because that seems to curse me.

Rating: T

Pairing: Mitch Marner/Reader

Words: 1544

Warnings: None

Requested: yes/no

Summary: You meet Mitch Marner at a birthday party and, well, you’re not quite sure if he’s an asshole or not.

It’s your best friend’s birthday, is why you’re here. Well, at least insofar as you tell others. A good part of it is that you love skating with your whole heart, but you’re not quite willing to tell anyone else that you’ve loved ice skating since you were a kid (even though you’d fallen out of form over the years) and the chance to skate at the Ford Performance Center, where the Marlies and Leafs practiced, was a dream come true. It was easier to just say that you were there for Nathalie, not that you’re a hockey nerd and are excited for the opportunity to skate on the (not-so) same ice as professional teams.

No matter what your reasons are, you step onto the ice with a confidence that may have been a little unfounded with how out of practice you are. You’re still doing better than the rest of the party, finding your legs much quicker than anyone else. You’re not a pro by any means, but you’re much better than the majority of the group. You’re more than aware that Nathalie is a great skater, but both she and yourself are hanging back to help the others. You offer a hand (or two) to those who haven’t skated before, or who have far less experience than you.

You spend a good fifteen minutes, at least, helping the rest of the party find their balance, smiling and laughing along the way. Most of the group are doing slow laps of the rink, chatting and generally having a good time. You, on the other hand, are speeding around the oval, delighted to finally be back on your blades. The wind created by your speed whips your hair around, the pumping of your arms and legs making you acutely aware of the flow of blood through your body. Your heart is soaring, delighted to be back where you belong, where you feel most at home.

Later, you’re helping Nathalie’s niece figure out how to stop without running straight into the boards when it happens. It goes like this: Maria is skating toward you as you glide backward, instructing her on proper stopping technique. You stop a couple feet from the wall, and she tries to put your advice into practice as she nears you, but doesn’t quite succeed. Rather than falling, she continues in a straight line directly at you, and she looks scared, so you decide to stay in place and let her run into you rather than the unrelenting wall. Which is how you’re sent backward with all the force of an eleven-year-old skating full tilt into you. You’re only a foot or two from the wall, but you’re propelled back enough to hit it pretty solidly, except the wall says “oof” and you’re pretty sure they don’t have talking walls. Or walls with arms that wrap around you like yours did Maria. Meaning someone had gone behind you at the exact wrong time, and you hope it’s your friend Roger, because hitting anyone else like that would be embarrassing.

All of this happens in the span of a few seconds, so you don’t have much time to react when you look back to make a joke to Roger and instead find a complete stranger standing there saying “woah, careful there”. Except it’s not a complete stranger, is it? Maybe? Is someone’s stranger-status entirely dependent on whether you’ve ever actually met them in person before? Whatever the qualifications for being a stranger are, the person who just slammed into the boards definitely isn’t one of your friends, because it’s Mitch Marner. Like. The Mitch Marner. Whose smile falls from his face the second you make eye contact, replaced with a flash of something to quick to name, before coming back as more of a smirk than anything.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry,” you say, mortified. Of all the people in the world that you could literally run into. Jesus Christ. Maria wriggles out of your hold and skates away, throwing a quick “sorry, mister!” over her shoulder as she abandons you. Traitor.

“Can’t believe I’m getting boarded even on my off days now,” he says. He’s clearly joking, but you’re embarrassed and feel bad and what if you end up being “that chick who hit Mitch Marner”?

“I’m sorry,” you repeat, turning fully toward him, “I was trying to teach her how to stop and didn’t even realize you were there.” He looks over your shoulder and you follow his gaze to where Maria has just successfully stopped herself without the assistance of the wall.

“Looks like she’s got the hang of it to me,” he quips, laughing brightly when you whisper an awed “son of a bitch” under your breath. You turn back to him, ready to apologize again— third time’s the charm— but he just shakes his head when you open your mouth, so you close it. You’re not really sure what you’re supposed to do in this situation, so you go with your first instinct and shove your hand out toward him so firmly he startles.

“Hi, I’m Y/N, nice to meet you,” you say, because you’re a stupid idiot who doesn’t know how to act around cute guys. Fortunately, he just smiles and shakes your hand, all firm grip and rough calluses and gleaming white teeth. It’s kind of breathtaking, really.

“Hi Y/N, I’m Mitch,” he replies. His hair is slightly tousled, like he just woke up from a nap, and shines in the overhead lights. As much as you’d hoped it was just editing magic, his eyes are as clear, bright blue as in the photos and videos. His lips are pink where his smile has turned closed-mouthed and almost… smug? Only when you take in the full smug expression on his face do you realize you’re still holding his hand. How long have you been holding it? How long have you been just staring at him point blank, blatantly checking him out?

“Sorry,” you say yet again, tearing your hand away just as quickly as you’d offered it. The second you let go, your hands are suddenly freezing. You should have worn gloves.

“It’s okay,” he only looks-- well, he doesn’t look more smug so much as wolfish, “It happens more than you’d think.” Is that supposed to be comforting, or is he just full of himself? You want to say that you can’t imagine an entire city worshipping an asshole, but a Leafs player could murder someone and Toronto would probably still treat them like a god. But he just. Doesn’t seem that kind, y’know? Unfortunately (or fortunately?) you don’t have any previous experience with him to judge off of, so you’re just going to give him the benefit of the doubt and believe he’s trying to be reassuring.

“Well I didn’t think it happened at all, so,” you say, not above chirping him a bit, “I’d hope this is more than I thought.” Was that mean? There’s a difference between banter and bullying, and you have trouble navigating it sometimes. He looks shocked for a moment, before laughing so hard he throws his head back and grabs at his sternum.

“You’re pretty funny, eh?”  he replies after he finishes laughing, “I like that in a girl.” What the fuck does that mean?

“Well, I like a man with a positive plus-minus,” you say, gently slapping his diaphragm with the back of your hand. He clutches that spot with both hands, looking overly-wounded, giving you big puppy-dog eyes.

“Ouch; harsh,” he says, playing it  up for a moment before he smiles again. God, that damn smile is going to be the death of you.

“I’ve got to go greet the birthday girl,” he says afterward, looking a bit… hesitant? It’s only then that you realize running into him made you the first person he met here, and you feel kind of bad, because Nathalie is a huge Leafs fan and loves Marner.

“Oh yeah, sorry,” you say, because you can’t stop fucking apologizing, “Nathalie is over there.” You point toward where she’s spinning on the ice with one of her sisters. What you’re expecting is for him to skate on over to her. What you’re not expecting is for him to take one of your hands in his own and looking so deeply into your eyes that you feel hypnotised.

“Come to a game some time,” he says, not quite an order. His big blue eyes are fixed on you and you’re helpless to do anything but nod. You don’t really know what he thinks will happen if you do come, and you’re not sure he knows you live in Toronto, which means you’ll absolutely be at a game at some point. But he asked, and well. You don’t really have any reason to refuse.

As he skates over to an ecstatic Nathalie, you can only watch him go. He doesn’t have all his pads on, so you can see the flex of his thighs and the curve of his ass, which you are absolutely refusing to acknowledge. He’s charming, sure, but you’re pretty sure he’s an asshole, and you don’t have time for that in your life. But if he asked...

[atinyan]

Sweet as Sugar

the anon on @cosmicmingi ‘s blog inspired this 👀 also I made this with a fluffier ending because I had Inspo for an angsty Seonghwa sugar daddy au and I didn't want too much angst for my sake LMAO

Member : kang yeosang

Pairing : Yeosang x reader, high school!au, sugar daddy!yeosang

Genre : Smut, Angst, Fluff

Summary : Yeosang is the perfect, rich boy of the school. He has perfect grades, perfect attendance, perfect record, perfect face,,, anyone can fall for him. You were one of those people. Luckily for you, he had taken in interest in your face and before you know it, you were on your knees as he face fucked you, and instead of making sure you were okay afterwards, he had something else in mind. Was this the start of something beautiful or something tragic?

It was a regular, boring tuesday when the school’s treasure, Kang Yeosang, gave you a note telling you to meet him after school near the art wing. To say you were curious was an understatement. Why would the oh so perfect class president be asking to see you? Had you done something wrong? Did he want your help with a school wide project? Your heart was pounding at the chance to talk to him, but you didn't want to flatter yourself. Since almost every boy and girl in the school had heart eyes for Yeosang.

The last class of the day had just ended, you gathered your things and nervously walked to the art wing, something not feeling too right as your heartbeat quickens. You get to the art wing and can't find Yeosang, looking around the different art classrooms, you sigh and give up. Did he stand me up? Have more important things to do? Just as you turn around, Yeosang is walking towards you. You’re taken aback and stare at him. ‘God he looks perfect,’ you thought. ‘His eyebrows, eyes, nose, lips, everything. There was no way he was human.’ You’re snapped out of your thoughts when he's only a few inches from your face, smirking down at you. 

“Do you know why I asked you to come here?” He said, sweet tone is his voice. You shook your head, he chuckled. “Cute,” he brings his hand up to your cheek and strokes gently. “So cute..” 

He grabs your hand and pulls you into one of the art classrooms. Surprised, you let a squeak which causes him to put a finger to your mouth. “You're going to be quiet, I know how to make sure of it.” He smirks as he locks the door. “Do I have your consent, sweetheart?” You nod your head slowly and before you know it, his lips are on yours. It starts off passionate and quickly he becomes rough. His tongue dances in your mouth, as his hands roam your body. Your sides, thighs, ass are all being grabbed by him roughly yet gentle. His hand goes to your left breast, massaging and grasping, causing you to moan in the kiss. He grunts at your moan and attaches his lips to your neck. He spends a few minutes, taking his time to suck and kiss on your neck. All the while you’re a moaning mess, mind still not processing the quick pace of everything he’s doing.

“Knees, now” His voice was commanding, you find yourself doing what he says without even thinking about it. You look up at him with innocence sparkled in your eyes, as he unbuckles his belt and pulls down his pants. Your eyes widen when his extremely hard dick bounces free. He chuckles at the sight. “You’ve always caught my attention,” he taps your cheek to make you open. “Because of you I got an 89% on my AP Chem test. Tsk tsk.” He grabs your hair and shoves his dick in your mouth roughly, making you gag. “I couldn’t focus during the review. All I could think of how pretty you looked during history. So prett- AH MM” He grunts out as he face fucks you, making you deepthroat his dick. Part of you is relieved because he doesn’t seem to shut up. He goes harder and harder, making you choke and struggle for your breath. You let him do as he wanted, clearly he was frustrated and needed help. You would be lying if you said you didn’t enjoy this, though it feels too much like a dream. ‘How many people get to say Yeosang deep throated them? Not many, Mr Perfect had standards, which is why you were still questioning, why you? He thinks you’re pretty?’ You find yourself blushing at your thoughts despite being roughly face fucked. Deep grunts come from him as he continues roughly. Soon enough, he cums in your mouth.

Just as he’s about to apologize for not giving a warning, you attempt to swallow it all, making him stare at you licking his lips. “Wow baby girl.” He starts to pull up his pants, not helping you get up. Instead he went on his phone and passed it to you. “Put your number in here.” he says firmly. He buckles his belt and you quickly type your number, not really knowing why he wants it. He reached in his pocket and took out hundreds of dollars. You almost choke, again, firstly wondering why he brings so much to school. He hands you money… exactly $500. You stare at the money in his hand with wide eyes and confusion, not even clear on what the hell just happened before. “You’ve caught my eye, love. I can’t ever focus when you're around. I want to spoil you and fuck you at the same time. God you make me crazy” He puts his lips on yours and kisses you much more softly than before, caressing your cheek at the same time. He pulls away and looks at you with a soft expression. “So that's exactly what I’m going to do. Fuck and spoil you.” He presses a kiss to your forehead, puts the money in your hand and walks out the door.

What the fuck just happened?

~

Weeks passed and Yeosang did exactly what he said. You’ve gone on an expensive shopping spree with him, spent nights at his beautiful mansion, made thousands of dollars, of course only after letting him have his way with you. You were unclear on your relationship with him. You felt like you shouldn’t catch feelings, but you did. When he wasn’t fucking you, he was being sweet as hell. Sent you cute messages, had nice conversations with you, cuddled with you, and more. People at school knew not to mess with you, he would walk you to class, and kiss your head before walking to his own. He had you sit with him and his friend Seonghwa at lunch, keeping an arm around you. But he never said you were in a relationship, so you didn’t exactly know what to name it. Maybe he didn’t like commitment? But you weren’t complaining, you were living a life you only saw in movies, and amount of girls and boys who envied you was something you weren’t used to. But none of them even dared to think badly of you, as they all knew Yeosang wouldn’t be too happy about it.

You wake up the next morning and check your phone:

Yeosang : Good morning beautiful! <3

Yeosang : See you in history class my love~

Your heart warms and you lay there in bed, smiling at the ceiling. You love it when he calls you cute pet names. You get ready for your day, with a fluffy feeling in your chest and walk to class. History was one of your only classes that you shared with Yeosang, and it was your first class.

You walk to the classroom and stop when you spot Yeosang talking to another girl. At first everything was fine as it was just talking, but then he brings his hand up to her hair and pushes a strand to the side with a smile on his face. You feel your heart break at the sight before you. You just knew you shouldn’t catch feelings, you just knew it. It was too good to be true from the start of when he asked to meet up with you. You quietly walk to your seat, tears filling your eyes. You look down to the floor as you sit, not wanting anyone, especially Yeosang to see you break down over him. Your planned failed though, because Yeosang did notice. As he was about to leave the girl and approach you with a worried expression on his face, and a thousand questions running through his head, a kid named Mingi approached you first. “Hey y/n, are you okay? Did someone bully you? If so, its okay, I get bullied a lot too. You can sit with me at lunch today!” His smile was bright and warm, and you didn’t want to tell him your sugar daddy broke your heart, so you just went along with some girls were making fun of you. Yeosang heard your innocent lie to Mingi, getting angry at the thought of people being mean to you. The girl he was talking to walked away upset because he was staring at you and ignoring her as soon as you came into the class. Mingi was rambling to you his life story, and you never realized how much the math nerd was actually bullied. But you felt bad as your thoughts just couldn’t stop thinking about Yeosang and what you were going to do about him, even with Mingi’s rambling. Yeosang on the other hand was getting tired of just sitting back and watching as you cried quietly, and pretending to listen to Minigi, who was excited to make another friend. Yeosang walked up to you and pushed Mingi aside. “Who the hell was being mean to you?!” He says sternly, anger filling him more and more. Who dares hurts his precious (sugar) baby? Mingi rubs his arm where Yeosang pushed him, and cowardly walks away, not wanting to cause any trouble with him. “Can we talk about it after school?” You say softly, not wanting to further the conversation now. “Sure, meet me by my car.” He said with worried eyes. He gives your hand a little squeeze and walks to his seat.

The whole day you couldn’t stop thinking about what to say to him, and Yeosang couldn’t stop thinking about you. You knew he would probably drop you after hearing you caught feelings, but it's better that than to play yourself thinking he is in love with you.

After school you walk to his car with your head down, and patiently wait for him. Within 2 minutes, he’s walking towards you. Your eyes start to water once more. “Hey..” he nearly whispered as he put your face in his hands. “Who was mean to you sweetheart??” He said with a worried tone still in his voice. “You..” His eyes widen and he looks confused. “What do you mean? I would never-” You looked in his sparkling soft eyes. “There wasn’t a group of girls that was mean to me. I said that to not hurt Mingi’s feelings, since he seemed so happy to maybe make a friend who was bullied like him.” You sighed, ashamed at the confession you were about to make. “But when I walked in the class, you were talking to some girl which I don’t care about that, it was just when you stroked her hair, my heart broke.. Cause I like you a lot.. And I guess for some reason I thought maybe there was something between us but I gues-ss I wa-was wrong” You were choking on your words and looking down at your feet, too ashamed and scared for his reaction. He started laughing and pulled you closer to his chest. “I wish I would’ve confessed before” he smiled at you. “I always sent you cute text messages in the morning and at night hoping you would say something to confess first. Stupid I know but I was afraid maybe you didn’t want an official relationship. I don’t know, I know you’re not that type of girl to just care about money but I couldn’t help it. I was flirting with that girl when you didn’t reply to my text message this morning, I don’t know… I worry too much” He ends his words with a reassuring smile. You giggled at him, “I didn’t reply because I was too awestruck at your words, it made my morning happy” You smile back at him. His eyes go brighter than before, if that’s even possible. “I’m so dumb oh my god” He gives you the biggest hug he’s ever given, squeezing your shoulders. “I know you usually walk home, but do you want to go on an official date, maybe some boba?” He says, his tone much more normal and softer than what you’ve ever heard from him before. You agree and walk to the passenger seat of his matte black Rolls Royce, the drive to his house was a comfortable silence, one of his hands on the steering wheel and the other holding your hand on your thigh. Yeosang has always been as sweet as sugar, but after today things will get even sweeter between the two of you.

[thegrabowskis]

why is Mike your favorite I want the dissertation OP

IN THIS ESSAY I WILL

- His lowkey obsession with Rich’s life. There was a quote from, I think Mike himself? that I saw once where he jokingly said his true calling in life was to put Rich Evans on camera and film him (if anyone can find that quote again, please send it to me, I think it was in an old interview with him)

- His unique creativity? I mean he basically created the modern video essay format wholecloth on his own. You can’t type the name of a pop culture film or tv show into the youtube search field without tripping over fifteen hundred video essays that were directly inspired by him.

- The shrugging humility when he’s reminded of this. He doesn’t seem to think he’s anything special; he’s just like “I wanted to get my thoughts out, so I did.”

- I once heard Jack and Rich on pre-rec talking about how they accidentally went to the same screening of a movie; Jack heard Rich laughing at the end and said “Hey, that’s Rich Evans!” and they joked that Mike ran away immediately because he doesn’t want to be recognized. It made me feel such a kinship with Mike as an extreme introvert myself

- As a giant Beatles stan (seriously I have a whole sideblog for it, I’ve bought all their albums which is wild cuz I try not to spend money on music, it’s a whole thing), I love that he’s a big beatles fan. A man can recognize good music!

- speaking of good music, he loves Elton John too? And musicals? Grease 2 is a musical that only a theater kid could love, and he loves it, therefore he is a Certified Theater Kid I don’t make the rules it’s just how it be

- his love of Star Trek is so pure and bright. Absolutely nothing in the entire world could make me care about Star Trek, but Mike and his enduring love for it has definitely come the closest. I mean, he got choked up talking about the motion picture for god’s sake. How can you not love this Soft™ Man

- I know it’s considered a bit gauche to talk about their patreon exclusive content, but for a while I was subbed to them there and watched a ton of outtake videos. My favourite thing about them, the thing that delights me the most every time, is that Mike is almost always the one who breaks first when they’re trying to film something scripted, like the nerd crew. People think of him as the stoic one but he’s not and it’s GREAT

- This is a small thing, but a lot of the time he covers his mouth and shrinks down when he’s laughing and it’s end**ring don’t @ me

- He loves making Rich Evans laugh more than anything in the whole world and I think that’s wonderful

- There is nothing funnier to me when he breaks and keeps trying to talk through it

- He’s such a bully sometimes but it’s ok he doesn’t mean it, probably. My favourite instance is when he gave Jay his shirt to wear for the Best of the Worst panel and then roasted his ass with a fucking flamethrower for it

- On a more serious note, he has some really good insights on movies, things that I never would have thought of; the most recent example I can think of is in the Exorcist III Re:View, when he made the point that the movie wasn’t really about people; it was about institutions and how they are supposed to be things that keep the world functioning, and the horror comes from the demon breaking those institutions.

- His Chicago/Upper Midwest accent is so choice, and he’s got a great reading voice. He should do audiobooks

- Every time he tries to tell a story he completely fails and goes on five hundred tangents and has to rely almost entirely on Jay’s superior memory to get to the finish line (like the Joe Pilato story; case in point, he asks Jay if he can tell the story and then doesn’t actually get to the story for two more minutes)

- He doesn’t give a single shit about video games and I love that because neither do I

- wish someone would look at me the way mike looks at his friends

- He just seems like a nice soft guy masquerading as a cynical asshole and i identify with that