#but this job is also extremely difficult to transition out of because i am a senior team member and my employer requires 1 months notice

[excelsior9173]

what is wrong with me i am sitting here in my client’s home relaxing waiting for food to arrive while i house sit and i am literally thinking about how this job is too taxing and i would really love to move on and i even have a job picked out to apply for….

that job is working in a halfway house with recently released federal inmates 😭 in what world is that easier than caring for dogs?? and yet the appeal is so much stronger… i mean i guess you can say i studied the right field lol. just feels crazy that i would rather be helping people reintegrate to the world after getting out of prison than take a few dogs for walks lmao

[that-ari-blogger]

Build Up

This might be an odd take, but the finale of She-Ra and the Princesses Of Power's first season is a two-part episode.

I don't mean this as a technicality. To my knowledge, Light Hope wasn't originally named "The Battle Of Bright Moon Part 1". I mean that in terms of animation and storytelling, this episode feels like the first part of a finale.

Let me explain.

SPOILERS AHEAD

At the risk of sounding like a broken record, the animation for this episode feels like yet another step up from previously. But now, instead of the lighting and art itself being improved, it is the little things. The scene transitions, the expressions, everything feels so much smoother.

For example, the first meeting of Bow and Glimmer with Swiftwind has some fantastic emotions on display that aren't revolutionarily, but take a serious level of skill. That's what good craft is, the little perfections that so often fly completely under the radar.

In that same scene, the little comedy moment of Glimmer noticing her mother and glitching is so fluid. I'm not an expert on animation technique, but even I can notice how this makes previous episodes look choppy in comparison.

The effect that this has is rather interesting, because it creates momentum. The fact that everything flows together so well allows the episode to build up speed and anticipation without actually altering the pacing, mostly (I will come back to this).

For another example of how this works in another, more condensed way, take Jimmy Dean's Big Bad John. Have a look at these two verses:

Every morning at the mine, you could see him arrive He stood six foot six, and weighed 245 Kinda broad at the shoulder, narrow at the hip And everybody knew, you didn't give no lip to Big John. Through the smoke and the dust of this man-made hell walked a giant of a man that the miners knew well grabbed a saggin timber, gave out with a groan And like a giant oak tree, he just stood there alone, Big John

The BPM (Beats per minute) of these verses is exactly the same, and Dean doesn't sing faster to cram more words in. Instead, the technique on display is enjambment. In the first verse, each of the thoughts is disconnected as a description of the song's eponym is given from a place of relative safety. But later on, the danger becomes evident through the fact that this is one thought that carries through, gaining that momentum as it does until that moment of breath in the verses final two words. A moment of breath that John is giving those miners.

The point I am making is that flow is a part of pace just as much as actual timing of events, and a minour shift in animation to give the characters more of that sense of motion within scenes creates dynamism that really helps the buildup of tension of the episode.

The pacing is sped up, but only slightly, and it is through the scene composition. The mirroring of Adora and Catra here through the length of the shot is clever. What I mean by this is... complicated. There are several points in the episode where Adora and Catra get incredibly short and punchy scenes back-to-back-to-back, making the whole thing feel like a singular item.

This also helps the pacing, but instead of through events happening faster, it creates an illusion of speed through scenes themselves being shorter.

Essentially, Lianne Hughes and Josie Campbell, the director and lead writer of this episode, really show off just how good they are at their jobs in this episode. Once again, the expertise comes out not just in the set pieces, but in the subtlety.

Speaking of subtlety, Light Hope.

Light Hope is a robot, kind of. She's an illusion that you can walk into and is programmed with a set objective. Pedanticism aside, Light Hope is a robot.

The problem with that is that her way of speaking is... robotic. There is an extreme lack of emotion here, making her difficult to read. But there are a few minour details.

"Your... friend?"

Moria Gorrondona's voice acting here is stellar. Because Light Hope does emote, just only in tiny ways. She is a complex character trying to appear simple. And that cracks in this line.

At first, this seems like confusion. Light Hope is a robot, so this is probably a new concept to her. But there's also some concern in her voice, and why is that there?

I think Light Hope is a phenomenal character, but I don't like her as a person. Admittedly, this is in hindsight, as watching this episode on a first viewing, it is easy to miss these elements. But Light Hope is just as manipulative as Shadow Weaver.

Everyone you will ever meet is either running towards something, away from something, or both, be it a goal in life or a feeling of worthiness or a sense of guilt. And people will usually take the path of least resistance towards or away from that thing. Often, a person seeking to manipulate you will provide a path for you to run, but it will come at a price.

Light Hope, in this scene, messes with Adora's head. She fools around, annoying Adora and keeping her talking until she gives her something of use.

"I need to figure out how to heal her."

Adora gives everything to Light Hope with this line. Most obviously, she gives her current goal. But she also, through her vernacular, gives her fear. She needs to figure it out. Adora is running away from failure and loss, and Light Hope pounces on that fear with pinpoint precision.

"She's hurt because of me. I messed up. I got Glimmer and Bow captured and Entrapta... It's my fault, I have to fix it."

Again, Adora is putting her whole heart out there, and showing vulnerability. I want to stress that this doesn't make Adora weak at all. The ability to be vulnerable takes bravery, and it marks out both Light Hope and Shadow Weaver as lesser for using Adora's against her.

"You do not yet realise the power you have. You are distracted by your attachments. There was one before you who could not let go. Her name was Mara."

Light Hope has seen Adora's memories, she knows what Adora knows, and Adora has just told her about her fear of failure. So, what does Light Hope do? She shows Adora someone she believes to have failed and says, "this could be you."

She-Ra is a tragedy desperately trying to happen, or rather, its a story about subverting tragedy. Everything is set to self-combust as the character arcs drive themselves into the ground. Love prevents this, and so Light Hope seeks to counteract that love.

Let's talk about the reveals in this episode, because they also contribute to that feeling of this being the first part of the season finale. This episode gives an information dump about the first ones, and while a lot of it turns out to be untrue, it is answers, for the moment.

Most notably, the series is now a sci-fi story, instead of an epic fantasy story. I know those terms are loose and ill defined, but you get the idea. This episode sets up the Horde landing, the First Ones being also from space, and the empty dimension.

But there is one majour moment that makes this feel like part one of a finale. The downfall of Shadow Weaver.

This scene is really cool, as it's when Shadow Weaver fully unravels. She loses her authority when Hordak gives that to Catra, and she loses her access to her magic in the same moment. Shadow Weaver is a character who covets power so taking these two away is a gut punch, and despite Catra being a villain at this point in the story, this scene is cathartic as all hell.

It isn't a hot take to say that this is when Shadow Weaver is at her most abusive. She loses, and starts spitting insults, for no reason other than self-gratification. She needs to feel powerful and so she tries to get that feeling by belittling someone she percieves as weak. She has been doing this the whole series but now she is unhinged.

Once again with Shadow Weaver, the things she says are unnervingly realistic, I know for a fact that certain people watching this episode have heard some of her words before, aimed at them.

But the reason this is so cathartic is because Catra isn't scared. Scorpia is scared in this scene, and nothing has even fazed her in the entire season so far (she's been surprised, but she's never hidden behind anything). But Catra is winning, and completely above Shadow Weaver's nonsense.

Shadow Weaver's last mode of control was her hold over Catra, and it's the mode that the audience has seen the most of. So, watching that get so thoroughly shattered is satisfying.

It's important to me that when Catra deals the final blow, she is striking downwards. The power dynamic is reversed, and now Shadow Weaver has to look up to see her, showing Catra has moved beyond her, at least for now.

Also, as a tiny detail, this is the first time we have seen Scorpia go through several emotions. Fear is the obvious one, but also grim determination, and anger. The blink and you'll miss it expression as she carries Shadow Weaver away is fantastic. Here, Scorpia is pissed and its awesome.

Finally, Swift Wind is introduced in this episode, which is... complicated. I don't find him funny or endearing, and since he is so desperately trying to be both, I'm not really left with much for the rest of the series. In this episode, however, I actually like Swift WInd's introduction. I think being a riff on Dobby the House Elf (sue me Galbreath, I dare you) is actually used to better effect here. Instead of his rebelliousness being just a comedy thing, its also used to motivate Adora with a peptalk.

"What good is all your power if you don't use it to help the people that you love?"

Swift Wind gets flattened in the rest of the series, but I think here, as a kind of eccentric heart character would have been a really interesting take on him and might have made him more popular with the fans.

Final Thoughts

I haven't spoken about the stakes in this post, and that's because that's what I will go into next week. Suffice to say that they build steadily over the course of the episode to set up the finale.

Next week, I will be looking at the actual finale of the season. The Battle For Bright Moon, so stick around if that interests you.

Previous - Next

[welcome-to-sparkys]

Mike with POTS Headcannon

Now I don't think of this hc as my truth (unlike the au I adore where Ness replaces Vanessa plot wise and is this cute little investigator) but Mike is definitely disabled. And so am I!!! In fact, I have POTS and EDS

POTS (Postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome) is a condition that causes a number of symptoms when you transition from lying down to standing up, such as a fast heart rate, dizziness and fatigue. [Via Cleveland Clinic]

It is why he is always so sleepy!!!!!

With money being tight, he always puts Abby first. So his diet is... Extremely lacking. He needs more salt in him (sodium greatly helps diminish symptoms)

He does exercise though, which helps keep his heart healthy and helps with symptoms.

But POTS certainly wasn't well understood in 2000. It also presents more commonly in women. It wasn't until our pandemic 20 years later has medicine started to tackle and understand the disease.

He's in the majority where he experiences presyncope [dizziness with no fainting/dizziness that preludes fainting] but never syncope [fainting] unless the conditions are extreme.

He should use a cane on his severe flare up days, but refuses to

He enjoys his security jobs because he can sit when he needs to (standing for long periods of time can be difficult with POTS).

He did pass out once when he worked at the mall but he told HR it was heat stroke or some lie he pulled out his ass because he felt like he was having a heart attack (he was having palpitations - extremely common with POTS) but didn't want to go to the ER for that. Can't afford the ambulance 😩

If he ever does get diagnosed it's later in life and he stresses to Abby to see if she also has it (it can be genetic).

[saturnatdawn]

In the past two days the public transit bus driver sped past my stop. This has costed me more money that I’d care to spend on Ubers, and has meant I’ve gotten home so late that I cannot even get a full 8 hours of sleep before my next shift. This has been extremely frustrating and scary given that I live an hour away from my job and it’s 10:00 at night, so the bus that I have to catch home is the last one scheduled. The bus didn’t come again tonight, and I was stuck on the curb outside my job, it’s sweltering outside and I didn’t have the funds to take an Uber so i’m waiting for my partner to drive all the way out to pick me up—not to mention she also needs to be up at 8am the next day and I am now taking 2 hours away from her time to rest over this— well the bus showed up nearly an hour and a half past the scheduled time. A guy steps out of the bus with a cigarette in hand, and I take it as an opportunity to ask about my stop being skipped. He gets wide eyed and becomes so apologetic. My bus stop is in the parking lot of a university, so I found this to be a little frustrating because he didn’t enter the parking lot, and I saw him drive past the school.

HOWEVER. I understand we are all human. I’d be lying if I said I’ve never half assed one of my jobs before. Casual cruelty is so normalized in American culture and I truly try to not partake in it. I didn’t yell at him. I didn’t get snippy or angry, and I talked it out with him. Although it was too late, he offered to take me to where I needed to be despite the fact he was off the clock. I just want to remind everyone that most people are not intentionally trying to fuck you over, nor are they trying to make life difficult, or be inconvenient. It would have taken more effort for me to yell at him than it did to just have a civil conversation. Please don’t subscribe to the American norm of being cruel simply because you were inconvenienced.

When I told my mom about this she got mad at me for not being more angry, but here is the thing: I was exhausted and pissed off. Yelling at this guy would not have made my night better and to be quite frank, it would have made me feel even worse. I probably would have been crying in the Arts & Science building after a long day if I had been mean to him. But there I was being chastised by my mom for not being meaner. What a miserable mindset to have.

[supermassivebutthole]

I am autistic. For me, this means I have heightened sensitivity to stimulus, problems regulating my emotions, problems completing tasks in a timely or "usual" manner, and trouble presenting myself to people in a way that might feel natural to them.

Because of this, the wage labor that is available to me is technically possible, but really lessens my quality of life. It's difficult for me to do the same thing every day because I don't always have enough energy for the work I'm required to do. Some days, I can do the wage labor, take care of myself, AND find time for things I enjoy. Most days, I have to pick and choose. If I work every weekday, that means that 5/7 days I have to make really difficult choices about how to spend my time.

When I have a job, sometimes I have to choose between showering or sleeping and going to work, or between making dinner or avoiding a meltdown that might derail my day.

Meltdowns happen for a lot of reasons. I might have a meltdown from an unpleasant sensory experience (my environment being too loud; feeling too itchy or hot; being hungry, tired, or sick; feeling confused about my surroundings or a social situation)

For me, a meltdown feels like a panic attack, if the panic were replaced with dread, sadness, fear, and shame, with an uncontrollable need for intense, sometimes physically harmful pressure on my body. During a meltdown, I might cry, scream, pull on my hair, hit or scratch myself, lose the ability to speak, or try desperately to find a small, dark space like a closet or under furniture to hide.

Meltdowns can make me feel physically sick, ashamed, and they are exhausting even once they are over. A meltdown might mean that I have lost some energy that I critically need, especially if Im participating in wage labor.

But it isn't only the energy management that's difficult for me. The jobs themselves are often confusing, demeaning, and exhausting. I have a hard time following directions that might seem clear to other people, so sometimes I need to ask for more direction than my managers are comfortable providing. Customer service positions drain me completely and leave me dangerously tired, confused, and disoriented at the end of my shift. Food service positions present me with stressful time constraints, unpredictable situations, and unpleasant sights, sounds, and smells that can trigger meltdowns. Socializing with coworkers is often confusing, distracting, and disorienting. Transitions to and from work cause me extreme distress.

The longer I work in environments I find untenable, the more energy I have to give toward surviving those environments. This results in a downward spiral that eventually ends in me leaving the job.

Luckily I have a partner who works, but the money we make isn't enough for us to have the quality of life that everyone on the planet deserves to have.

I am useful at home, where the environment is predictable and safe, and I can complete tasks in my time and my own way, but no one pays you for doing your dishes or laundry, cleaning the house or making dinner. These are things you're expected to do on top of everything you do to make money, which is untenable for me because of my autism, but I also recognize is just plain untenable.

Domestic work is work, necessary work, hard work, and for a lot of us, the only accessable work that we have. My partner performs better at her job when she doesn't have to worry about laundry, dishes, dinner, maintaining the house, checking the mail, taking out garbage, or the million other things that have to be kept up with at home.

But she doesn't make enough money alone for it to be acceptable for me to not participate in wage labor. And worse, if we complain about our position in life, we're met with comments suggesting that we deserve this lesser quality of life because we didn't go to college, because I don't have a job, because we are on foodstamps and public healthcare, because we aren't trying hard enough.

But we don't have a choice. There's only so hard I can try before I actually, literally, and actionably end my life. There are only so many hours that my partner can work while coping with her own disabilities and personal problems. There is only so much we can do. And predominant social structures would suggest that if we really aren't capable of doing more, than we deserve to fill all of our idle time with suffering. It's just such bullshit.

[mishkalantia]

I haven't written here for a long time. Mostly because when Trump won the first time, I realized ...

No one is listening.

But I'm going to write more today, just to get my thoughts down somewhere to think 'out loud'.

I've given it some thought and I know where my line in the sand is.

As a trans person, there are levels of survival I am willing to accept. I've been a second and third class citizen ever since I transitioned. My kid will be getting out of school and moving with her other parent to begin adulthood so I don't have to worry about her or her safety when it comes to being near me if anything goes wrong. I can stay in the U.S. even if:

They remove all discrimination protection. (I can't find a damn job anyway ... And I'm pretty sure my land lord cares more about money than me existing).

They retroactively make me have to change my paperwork and ID back to have the wrong gender on it. (It's humiliating. But I can survive it.)

They make it illegal for me to use a woman's restroom. (I'm not pretty. But I am confident I blend in well and go unnoticed. I'll either break the law, maliciously comply and use the men's room, or more likely as I'm a law abiding citizen, and don't like to stand out, and would rather choose safety, I would be extremely careful to keep any public outings short and to a minimum.)

They remove any federal assistance for trans related health care. ( I've always made a point of paying for my transition related care myself even when I had to NOT EAT in order to afford to do so. I did that just in case this ever happens.)

Hell. They can even make me change my damn name on paper. I don't have to use it. I don't have to tell people. And if they somehow do use it? I'll survive. There are a lot of people, not just myself who swallowing their pride and just surviving next four years is going to be how we win. I'm not alone in that and I can do it.

I can endure all of it. ALL of it. Even more than is listed above. Except:

I ... Have no idea what to do if they change national health care policy to no longer allow my HRT medication to be used with the 'off label' use to maintain my transition.

The way I see it, I will only have four choices if it comes to that, and all of them are bad.

1) Flee the United States.

2) Obtain medication or the ingredients to make it myself off the black market.

3) Detransition.

4) ... I can't bring myself to type out the fourth option.

Option one is probably the best.

But, for all the U.S.'s screaming about immigration, it is actually Very Hard to immigrate to another country, even from America.

I don't have a job that allows me to transfer to a country for work. I don't have an in demand degree or career. I don't have a significant other I could marry and move to be with. I only speak English. There are some countries that allow you to BUY your way in with expensive land investments.

But even if I sold everything I have and did that, then what? None of them are countries with English as the primary language to my knowledge. How do I navigate health care to continue my medication in another country where I would functionally be illiterate and don't know ANYONE? On and on and on. I'm already thinking about it. I'm already planning for it. But my initial serious look at it is that it will be extremely difficult. And I fear life afterward will be soul crushingly lonely. Not to mention starting life completely over at my age is daunting. But I would at least survive if I can figure out both how to do it and where to go.

The second option is more do-able but also has huge downsides. Super villain origin story. I would have to embrace breaking the law on a constant basis. But to me it strikes me as dangerous. How do I know it's safe? What if I make it wrong? What if I get caught with it and sent to prison with the new realities of what that would be like on top of all the other horrible things about being in a U.S. prison? Etc.

Option three ... Detransition is absolutely not an option. It's just not. I remember how I felt before hand. My worst days since transitioning have still felt so much better by comparison. I refuse to go back. I especially refuse to be FORCED to go back.

That leaves option 4. I don't think anyone I know wants to even hear option four. And I won't type it because I don't want to give anyone the idea or impression that it's an option I condone. But I've definitely seen people discussing it among trans people.

Even if the worst scenario doesn't play out and I just live the next four years looking down and just focus on basic survival until I'm able to find a way to resist, I know only one thing for sure ...

It should NEVER have come to this.

[neodreamgirl]

there's so many things that have been bothering me these past couple of weeks...

but what I really want to talk about is the fear I have of becoming depressed again. things are difficult right now for me financially, and I am finding it very hard to find a new job. throughout this difficult transition of being a college student to being an adult navigating the real world, I have been lucky enough to still be on anti-depressants. they block the extreme negative emotions that come with depression, but I still feel secondary things. my mood is very low, I feel tired often, I don't want to talk to anyone, and most of all, I feel shame. you can also add in a touch of frustration to the mix.

actually, frustration might be what i have been feeling all along. i'm dissatisfied with where i'm at in life. I feel embarrassed, ashamed...it seems like no matter how many job applications I fill out, no one thinks i'm worthy of hearing back. every time I walk into my job, I get a headache. i'm so frustrated and upset with myself because there is no one to blame but me. my efforts may not be enough. my resume is garbage. maybe i'm not hungry enough for success and the cosmos are acting accordingly? I don't know...

but there's something so humorous about this. there are two other things bothering me at the moment, too, but I can't seem to focus on them. I think I have learned to prioritize better now that i'm 25...the frontal lobe is in full effect it seems. I feel like i've detached from this guy that I was dating for about 3/4 months. at first, I was full of anxiety when he suddenly stopped texting me, but it went away after I made note that I have abandonment issues (LMAO?). i'm upset that we aren't talking right now, but I'm not too sure why it isn't bothering me as much. or maybe it's bothering me so much which is why I haven't reached out to any of my friends about it. someone that I considered my best friend hurt me, too. I had considered her my best friend for 5+ years and she turned around and threw my struggles in my face when I couldn't be there for her because of them. she hasn't apologized for it, either. she acts like she did nothing wrong. that sucks. but, I also haven't reached out to anyone to tell them how much it bothered me that she texted me recently like nothing. she ignored my text about how I feel like she doesn't care about what I have to say, therefore I feel like we should take a break from our friendship. she ignored that text for weeks.

these two situations and the way i'm handlng them feels new to me. I usually get very anxious over being ghosted and super upset when someone I considered close pisses me off/hurts me. instead, it's like a shallow feeling of disappointment mixed with sadness. the best part about the guy and my best friend is that this all happened at the same time. both of them just disappointing me back to back.

i think my frustration overshadows every other emotion. my frustration seems to be the driving force behind me isolating myself and wanting to stay in bed all day on my phone, laptop or reading a book. in fact, the only thing I have interest in doing is sleeping, pilates, and reading. i'm afraid that if this goes on, i'll become depressed...I don't like who I am when I am depressed. maybe the anti depressants will prevent that from happening, but still. it feels like I don't have the energy or motivation to interact with people, which is probably why I'm not hitting up that guy, bothering him and asking him if he's okay. it's like i'm content with not speaking to him at the moment. I don't want to go back and forth with my "best friend" because I know she won't listen, but also because I don't have the energy. I feel like I need to let these things run their course while I stay in my own bubble and figure out what my next step is with work. what do I do? who do I talk to? how do I lock in? I feel like hiding from the world until I have it figured it out. which sucks, and I know it isn't healthy, but it feels nice for a while...

[taka-again]

Hey one person at most that might read this, I have what I think is an unsolvable puzzle for you:

I'm german but the german part of me is dead. Has been for a long time. For reasons of PTSD or anxiety or I don't know what, I feel so horrendously uncomfortable in any german social interaction that I would not even enjoy having friends. But that's okay, I've long since accepted that and I've rebuilt myself in english. Bilingual people often have some personality differences between their languages and I've just taken that concept and run with it to the point of being like sort of able to enjoy life.

So instead I have online friends. And for short amounts of time and large amounts of money I've even been able to meet many of them on trips I've splurged my savings on recently. I love them just as much in real life and it has shown me how devastatingly lonely and pointless my life back here in germany is.

So clearly I have to get out, right? Move to an english speaking country, in with or at least in proximity of one of my friends, and finally start living for the first time. It works out doubly well because with transitioning to a new name and gender AND fleeing the country, it's the perfect way to disappear and cut out my abusive family forever (they don't know about any of this). And if that's not possible until I have an updated passport and such, I should fill the time in between with a few more of the visits I've been doing, to prepare for my life there and spend as little time suffering as possible.

Well, I asked. They don't want to. None of them. Either because they're not in a stage of their lives where they're looking for room mates or because we're simply not as close as I imagine us to be. I'm aware of course that I need them more than they need me. How couldn't I? They have families and irl friends and function well enough for school or jobs. They have lives. I can't offer them anything but love, and even that they could get easier elsewhere.

I'm not mad at them at all, they're not responsible for me, you can't force someone to love you, and between me sometimes losing speech, having mental breakdowns or simply being anxious in a foreign country, they probably realise that beneath just splitting the rent, there is also some kind of implied request that I'm asking to be mommy'd through recovery. That is too much to ask of a random gaming friend.

But I am left feeling lonely and devastated. The notion of simply moving to an english speaking country all on my own and having to find a way to survive alone just the same as here is so daunting (and doesn't fix the loneliness) that looking forward to it doesn't get me through the months of suffering still left in germany.

So the puzzle is what am I supposed to do NOW? I'm not talking about my eventual living situation I mean how am I supposed to make it through the extreme depressive episode that was brought on by all this? When every single thing outside is german and that won't change for more than half a year. When my usual escape to the internet feels ruined and my friends feel awkward around me for having had to turn me down. When I just had so much hope and a specific idea of how life could be bearable some day but it's so far away and time doesn't pass when depression makes me incapable of enjoying anything anymore.

I've tried everything. I've picked up a job that accommodates my autistic/adhd needs better than any before, but when you're so depressed you can hardly stand up, any job is crushingly difficult. I've tried picking up new games and shows but I just don't enjoy anything anymore. I've tried antidepressants, I've been in therapy all my life. Nothing helps. I think a big reason I'm on HRT is just because it has been such a miracle cure for the mental health of my trans friends and I just wish it was that simple for me. Why do everyone's problems seem solvable except mine? I'm 27 now and things have still never gotten better, some only got worse. What else do people do to cope? I don't see the appeal in self harm but I'm considering it. I don't know how to get drugs but I kinda don't want them anyway cause I constantly have to drive back and forth between home and an airbnb cause I cant sleep at home due to repairs. I'm also expecting to get yelled at by the janitor any day now because he'll see how dirty my place is and give me a massive list of things to do that I can't do. I attempted suicide twice last week and I have no better plan than to keep trying that.

For tl;dr read the first 1-2 sentences of each paragraph

[dougielombax]

I sent an open letter for the Nature Restoratino Law going on in the Eu, one big Fossil Industry and cpaitlaists are trying to stop. Here was a response from a Fine Gael MEP. "

WALSH Maria <maria.walsh@europarl.europa.eu>

to me

Good morning, 

Thank you for contacting my office and raising your concerns regarding the Nature Restoration Law.  

First of all, to be clear, I will not be voting to reject the Nature Restoration Law. 

Not just because it will ensure measures and/or targets to cover at least 20% of the EU’s land and sea areas by 2030, and ultimately all ecosystems in need of restoration by 2050, but because it is the right thing to do for our environment and biodiversity.

As the Environment Committee in the European Parliament did not agree on a text, there is no Parliament position brought to plenary. Therefore, we are left with either the Commission or the Council position to vote on. 

The Commission proposal contains a number of issues that I am not comfortable with, as an MEP representing the Midlands, North-West constituency. For example, it includes the impossible targets on re-wetting that our farmers in our area cannot agree to. 

The Council text, as supported by the Irish government, does address some of these pressing  concerns. You may have read this clarification given by the Irish Minister of Agriculture that the Council position on re-wetting targets for 2030 can be almost exclusively carried out on State-owned lands. 

Therefore, I will vote to endorse the Council text. 

However, achieving our climate goals is essential. We cannot rush towards our binding 2035 and 2050 targets in a way that is unsustainable. We must ensure we have solid, progressive policies that bring all the actors involved along with us. 

This is a narrative that I find extremely difficult to negotiate, given the constituency I represent. We cannot favour the ‘us vs them’ narratives that divide our own communities in the middle. It is not our rural areas vs our cities, our farmers vs our environmentalists - this is about our own beautiful Irish landscape. We need to ensure every one of us has the ability to protect it, and has the bigger picture in mind. 

As an MEP that represents all of the Midlands, north-West, it is my job to negotiate, compromise and work for the best of our communities as a whole. 

Therefore, I will be voting for several amendments to the text, particularly those ensuring additional funding for those smaller and medium-sized farmers who are working to make nature restoration possible already. If not, funding for their work on nature restoration will be lumped-in with all CAP funding. How can we reward and highlight their good work, while asking them to make applications under the same-old Agricultural Policy fund?  Our farm families and communities need clarity for their future, they need to know funding is available for the green transition, exactly like every other sector. They deserve fair compensation for their efforts that cannot be taken by those who are not making changes. 

Again, to be clear these amendments will in no way undermine the goal of the Nature Restoration Law. It is clear to everyone that we need to make amends to our land. 

After our vote today, the institutions will work on their proposed texts and come to an agreement which will eventually become an enforceable Regulation across the EU. Within two years of this coming into effect, EU countries will be expected to submit National Restoration Plans to the Commission showing how they will deliver on the targets. They will also be required to monitor and report on their progress. 

This is the aspect we will now need to follow next, we will need to ensure that our countries take this seriously, that they are acting on what is implemented. I hope we can all keep an eye on how this progresses and ensure that our national plan is implemented swifty and effectively, particularly as it has such a strong government backing. 

I want to thank you again for your email. There have only been a handful of votes where I have received such a huge abundance of emails on a subject and when that happens I take them very seriously. You are making sure your voice is heard, that I am held accountable to you as your MEP. 

If you have any further questions on this or any other issue, please feel free to reply, my team and I would be happy to help in any way we can.

Best regards,

Maria " This is the kind of politiician we have to deal with ni the Republic. They will neuter any and all climate progress.

I can see that.

The Green Party has done fuck all in that regard.

I know they’re a coalition partner but still.

[the-amalgam-house]

Once in a while I like to take note in any physical form directly in front of my eyes on the slew of identities I have and trials I face just to get a whole picture of what's happening. It pretty much goes like my pinned post, but sometimes I still face to reiterate from time to time.

The reason I'm thinking about it rn is cause I realized that at this point in my adult life, I've actually NOT worked for twice as long as I did work. My last job was in 2014 after struggling for 3 years to hold a job post-hospitalization. It has gotten to a point where I was in so much pain on a daily basis that I was incredibly suicidal. I was already starting to transition at the time but I wasn't out to my family, which weighed extremely heavily on my mind, and by that point it would be still several months to a year before I actually sought therapy. I couldn't stand the thought of not being able to work, to "earn" my right to be part of a society, a productive part of my family. To this day I still struggle with the idea that I am worthless because of my disability. My body is broken. There's no level of wishing it wasn't that will fix it, and no way to access the help I probably need, for free. It all costs money, and I can't work.

To sum up physical limitations feels like I'm minimizing everything I experience when just listing them, but it's impossible for others to really understand otherwise. Even my own wife was harsh to me before she herself ended up with terrible back problems by her job's abuse and neglect.

In terms of physical health, I deal with:

Asthma, allergies, nearsightedness, eczema, possible lupus, possible fibromyalgia, chronic nerve pain, chronic back pain, cycling insomnia/hypersomnia, diabetes, GERD, chronic leg pain and weakness, post thrombic syndrome, pcos (resolved with hysterectomy), genetic obesity, carpal tunnel syndrome (that one's on me), and various sensory sensitivities.

As I already said, my mental state also was absolutely trashed by the time I stopped working. I refused to believe that I was disabled (despite the fact that I've always been disabled in more tolerable ways), and was fighting to recover from a major hospitalization 3 years prior that I never would have been able to do on my own no matter HOW hard I tried. My leg was irreparably damaged, my other leg began getting frequently injured from strain, my health deteriorating from passing way too hard. Therapy helped me figure out a few things, and with the things I learned there along with now decades of my own research and self understanding, I've overall gotten to a place where I can cope better with the mental struggles I have to face.

In terms of mental health, I deal with:

Chronic major depressive disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, ADHD, PTSD, dyslexia (dyscalculia), autism, gender dysphoria, body dysmorphia, and at least one or more dissociative disorder, namely Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) or Otherwise Specified Dissociative Disorder (OSDD) in which alters/headmates are present with varying levels of amnesia between.

There are large swaths of my childhood I simply don't remember. I have trouble with both short term and long term memory due to both trauma and learning disabilities. The strongest and most reoccurring memories are of traumatic events. I've been depressed since before I even hit double digits in age. My anxiety makes it extremely difficult to make phone calls, and manifested as "white coat syndrome" aka anxiety attacks around doctors/hospitals. It was this anxiety that brought to my attention at least one of my headmates, Greyson, as someone who has been taking care of me when I have to face those kinds of intense anxiety experiences. Others came forth over time. My first traumas from an age young enough to manifest DID were due to severe medical and home trauma...

On top of all that, I also take many medications. I'm not going to list them cause meh, but a lot have various side effects that cause sleep issues and memory issues and energy issues. I'd rather deal with those than the intense pain I feel without them, but even so, all of these things stacked on top of I've another more or less keeps me in bed for all of my days. I rarely move around even in my own home because I simply can't. On the rare days I have any net gain in energy, I usually do way too much because it's the only time I have that ability, and then just end up putting myself right bank into bed for weeks, even months. The most simple of tasks to average people are monumental undertakings for me, when they didn't used to be.

I'm not typing this to have a pity party. I think that I'm taking stock and looking back at how much I've survived. And I still fall prey to sinking into the depths of despair fairly often, but definitely overall have a better understanding of my limits and my coping mechanisms and myself in general in these years having to be bedbound, having to accept the cards that have been drawn and having to figure out how to best work with what I'm given.

I just needed to get all that out of my head. I've often told myself a lot of "oh other ppl have it worse" type of demoralizing things before, and someone's still do, but with disability activism and sharing life experiences with those who've gone through similar, I know it's not a competition of who has it the worst. We're all entitled to mourn the lives we wanted but can no longer have and still celebrate the victories in the steps we've made to survive. There's no shame in asking for help, whether it's physically or mentally or emotionally or financially. Being disabled is not necessarily a death sentence. There is community And mutual aid and kindness and caring out here in the world. Sometimes I can't see it, but eventually I remember.

[dr4kenlvr]

𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐏 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐅𝐔𝐂𝐊𝐄𝐑 !!

feat. mikey sano, draken, baji keisuke, chifuyu matsuno, mitsuya takashi (reader is mentioned here and there too!) - crack/humour/fluff (1.2k+)

nana's note: can toman boys drive cars?? no keep reading to find out about the boys and their driving habits!! spoiler alert: in no way should you drive like them please don't listen to this post LMAO

MIKEY

to mikey, the written test wasn't too bad—he went in, sat in his little cubicle, and got through the questionnaire without too much issue

dude couldn't lie though, he was sweating bullets at the demerit point questions FR

but of course, mikey boasts to everyone (especially baji but we'll get to that later) about his success, and is very excited to hit the road

didn't realize just how small being behind a car wheel feels until he sits and needs to bump the seat up a few notches LMAO

baji teases him: "you need heels on to reach the pedals, too? HAHHAHA"

is constantly driving with an :0 expression

"oh my god, the car is moving ken, im making the car move—ken, look!"

"yes mikey, your foot is on the gas pedal."

cheers when he does a left turn successfully, because fuck are those a pain in the ass sometimes

sometimes forgets to signal, and has been flipped off a few times for almost crashing in front of the car behind him

"oops!"

mikey absolutely has a snack stash in his trunk too—it's filled, and always being refilled, with sweets, savoury treats, and drinks

"y/n, could you grab me a bag of chips please? any flavour!" he yells from the front

???? what ????—you crane your head back to a fucking kitchen of snacks like it's normal for anyone to have that much

occasionally gets extremely tired at the wheel, and shuts his eyes for two seconds at a red light

it's either a honk waking him up or ken profusively cursing at him

"oops!" x2

DRAKEN

now i don't wanna be bias (user dr4kenlvr, am i right), but ken is probably the second best driver on this list

written test wise, he passed on the first try

wasn't too difficult, and the lady at the desk even congratulated him with a warm smile, to which he happily returned

he got use to the mechanisms of the car pretty quickly

all of these gears and switches were like second nature to him, considering how much he works with motorbikes on the regular

likes to play music as he drives, it varies depending on the time of day it is

nice r&b on a night drive is always his favourite though

once draken gets really comfortable with the wheel, he'll have an arm hanging out the window

heavenly sigh—he looks really good <3

never drove alone with just his G1, despite his delinquent reputation

good job ken!!

one thing though: he has an oddly high level of road rage LMFAOOO

draken thinks it's probably because he's in a car—surrounded by 4 walls—rather than being out in the open like on a bike

people can't hear him curse the living hell out of them with the windows up so...

"what the FUCK, ASSHOLE?—CAN'T SEE I'M TRYNA FUCKIN' PASS?"

"SIGNAL NEXT TIME, YOU BITCH."

"ARGHHH—QUIT YOUR HONKING YOU DICK! I HEAR 'YA"

"WHY IS THIS GUY UP MY FUCKING ASS."

yeah, he gets loud LMAOO and vulgar

with his viens popping out and shit, he probably looks crazy if you pull up next to him in the adjacent lane

just don't look over, you'll be okay

HELP

same ken

BAJI

this mf spent months studying for the written test

he was extremely keen on doing well too, because he wanted the luxury of being able to finally drive a car

baji also wanted to be able to drive his mother to and from work, so that she "wouldn't have to take public transit all the time"

love you keisuke

created study nights with chifuyu, where the boys would quiz each other on repetitive shit like signs

"okay, what's this one?"

"uhh.. there's like a merry-go-round ahead?"

"wha—? d'you mean a ROUNDABOUT???"

he had the right spirit, so chifuyu gave him a point either way AHSDHDSHF

time rolled around and baji declared him finally ready to take on the test and..

...he passed!! yay keisuke !!!

dude wanted to explode from the sheer relief, he literally picked you up and spun you around 18 times out of happiness

BUT THIS MF ON THE ROAD IS SO FUCKING WILD—he's good with the wheel, but like there's always something going on in his car

you could get whiplash by how fast he goes sometimes

he doesn't even mean to

50 maximum but he's going 80

"YOU'RE GONNA GET PULLED OVER OR KILL SOMEONE, KEI' SLOW DOWN."

"oH—FUCK, SORRY! sorry!"

also is a huge multitasker - and isn't too shabby at it

he could be calling someone via bluetooth speaker, while eating, while scratching his back, while signalling into the right lane ALL AT ONCE

miraculous how he doesn't have even a scratch or dent yet to be honest

idk man, just make sure you have your seatbelt on at all times, kay'?

CHIFUYU

i think he gets a little too excited every time he gets behind the wheel

like hes giggling with every lane change or right turn

literally fucking SCREAMS when he sees a cat walk on the road

"NOOOOOOOOOOO—"

"chifuyu, it's fine! it walked back. K-KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD!"

has a cushion specifically for peke j in the back seat where no one can sit or move it to sit

"ahh no. that's peke j's spot, you can sit in the trunk or something."

baji: "are you fucking kidding me."

LMAO

speaking of peke j, he has a component in his trunk filled with toys and cat food for him

it's honestly really sweet, how much he cares and cherishes his little cat

you can't find the heart to be too angry with him when you find cat fur stuck to the seats

i think chifuyu has a lot of fucking fast food garbage in his car too

his mom (and you) is always up his ass about it:

"CLEAN YOUR DAMN GARBAGE MATSUNO. THIS IS A CAR, NOT A LANDFILL."

like, you would sit in the passenger seat and at your feet there's just wrappers and straws and shit

you look at him with a look that just speaks volumes of "really?"

and he's all (｡╹ω╹｡)

it's an honest mistake <3

MITSUYA

oh god—the most responsible driver out of his friends by FAR

he is so so happy when he passes, because he is able to get things done quicker with a car than by walking

dropping/picking up his sisters from school, escorting his mother to places, getting groceries, visiting his friends, just about everything in his life is made 10x easier and faster

mitsuya's car ALWAYS smells good

he's always got a new car freshener hooked onto his rearview mirror when the scent runs out

his favourite is lavender <3 and his sisters like the fruity ones but they make his and your's nose tickle

DRIVES WITH ONE HAND ON YOUR KNEE !!!!!

and he does that fucking cute side smile when he talks to you but also needs to pay attention to the road

AHHH <3

LOVES to bring his sisters on drives around the neighbourhood once he gets his full license

plays their favourite songs and sings out loud with them

it'll be cartoon openings and disney soundtracks but he doesn't mind

not when the grin on your's and his sister's faces are so bright and genuine

omfg - picnics where you two set up food in the trunk and watch luna and mana play at the playground

and they rush over when they're hungry to eat and rest

HOW FUCKING CUTE AND PERFECT

MITSUYA TAKASHI IS PERFECT

taglist: @dai-tsukki-desu @kazuhoya @gwynsapphire @sscarchiyo @reiners-milkbiddies @smileyswifeyy @bontensimp-blog @thisbicc @megumisemo (send me an ask or dm to be added!)

reblogs and comments are very appreciated!

[assassinbait]

2017 and 18 have been extremely humbling for me. Actually, humbling is putting it nice. It’s been harrowing. I’ve never been this consistently in physical pain, mental pain, financial pain, with romantic and friend relationships and future career issues that...I don’t know, I don’t have any confidence/hope to fix.  I’ve been dealing with these issues for years and it only progressively gets worse; I’m back to square one after exhausting every hope for any improvement to my future over and over.  I want to make personal posts that show improvement, I want to make everyone here and around me proud of my successes, but I’ve been failing in a ways I’ve never known before. 

[randomimaginesforrandompeople]

Little sister pt. 2 | Riven imagine

Summary: This is a part two of Little sister so if you haven’t read that I advise you to do so! In this part Riven finally asks you out.

A/N:  I  wanted do a part two to show more of ‘your’ thought process but oh well, I really like writing big brother Sky haha. So don’t hesitate to send me request about that I really like big brother Sky! but if there is interest I can always do a part 3? I got some people in my inbox with ideas already so please let me know!

You were interested in Riven, very obviously so. Which Sky hated, making it even more funny to you. You had explained plenty of times that it was none of his business and that you were grown enough to make your own decisions. Sky then often sighed, knowing you were right but just wanting to protect you. You appreciated Sky, you really did, but he needed to loosen up a little.

You had a day off today and you and some of the girls decided to go to the second year specialist training to watch. You had told them about your good bond with Sky but you hadn't told them about your family bond with Silva. You were happy that the others wanted to go to the training as well because you needed an excuse to watch Riven. It was really hard to find moments to be around Riven without Sky basically dragging either of you away.

Riven had tried a million times to tell Sky that he was only joking when he said he just wanted to screw you, he tried to explain that he had actual feelings for you but Sky was extremely stubborn. However, Riven was too and he was not giving up because of his annoyingly protective best friend who would rather have you locked down somewhere than have you date anyone for that matter.

Sky had never seen Riven act this polite and eager before. They were sparring and Silva was giving tips. Riven was acting like never before. He thanked Silva multiple times, asked for help and even wanted to volunteer. "Suck up" Sky laughed after Riven had thanked Silva for the 100th time. "Gotta get him to like me" Sky rolled his eyes "You're joking right?" Riven smirked "Nope, want him to like me for when I start dating y/n" Riven knocked Sky down "Good job Riven!" Silva exclaimed loudly and Riven looked at Sky with a proud grin on his face.

The girls arrived at the training grounds where Sky was currently knocked down. You chuckled "I thought you were supposed to be training, not napping on the floor" Sky growled as Riven laughed. He winked at you and you smiled, blushing a little. Sky wanted to hit his head, this is exactly what he had tried to avoid.

It's not that he didn't trust Riven, he did with his life. It was just hard to see you grow into an adult, who dates. And why did it have to be his best friend? But he noticed the way you were around each other, and Riven even wanting to impress Silva told him that Riven was actually trying.

Sky sighed in defeat as he pulled Riven to the side. "Fine" Riven looked at him confused "I know I am, but what is it?" Sky rolled his eyes "Don't make me change my mind" Riven still looked confused "Could you please just tell me?" Sky sighed once again "You can ask y/n out, but if she says no you stop bothering her" Riven grinned "Thanks" he patted his friend on the back "Oh but she won't say no" Riven laughed as Sky looked at him with a sour face.

Riven wasted no time, stalking right over to you. "Good to see your pretty face again y/n" you smiled "Likewise" He smirked and sat down next to you "Would you maybe like to hang out? Just the two of us" He nodded at Sky and you giggled "I would really like that" He rose up with a big grin on his face "It's a date" he winked at you and got back to Sky "told you she wouldn't say no" Sky rolled his eyes, he was already regretting his decision. ‘’You better treat her right dude because I swear to god-’’ Riven cut Sky off ‘’Come on, I told you this is not like anyone else, I really like her’’ He looked over at you talking and laughing with Musa and Bloom. 

Sky saw the way he looked at you and he realized he spoke the truth ‘’Sorry for being such a pain about it. She’s just..different’’ Sky also looked over at you ‘’I grew up with her, she’s basically my sister and one of the most important people in my life’’ He sighed ‘’But that doesn’t mean that I should hold her back, it’s just a difficult transition’’ Riven patted his back, he was glad his friend was opening up. He didn’t have a sister-like relationship of his own but he could understand where he was coming from and he was happy that Sky was finally telling him about it. ‘’I can see that, I promise that I will treat her right Sky’’ Sky nodded ‘’I know you will’’ the two hugged it out. They walked over to the rest of the group ‘’But I take it that you don’t want details about our upcoming sex life?’’ ‘’Christ Riven, just shut up’’

Taglist: @novawrts @americaswritings​ @voidmalfoy​ @blahhhhhhhaaa​ @reader101k​ @criesinlies​ @artsyle​ @fandomwalflower @teaandcoke​ @glowingatdawn​

If you want to be added/removed from my taglist please let me know!

[prof-peach]

Hello professor, I have a pretty heavy question I’m afraid, but I’m running out of people to ask, so I’ll try my best to keep it PG13.

It’s my Mienshao, Daisy. Up until recently, she and I were members of a police task force tasked with rooting out illegal Pokemon smuggling rings and underground high stakes tournaments. We’ve been partners for a long time, me and Daisy, we grew up together, and I dare say we made a great team. But then things went wrong.

For the sake of security I can’t go into too much detail, but we were participating in a raid when we got ambushed. Someone must have tipped the smugglers off, because they were waiting for us when we got there. During the firefight, there was an explosion, a gas tank got set on fire by a charizard, I believe, and Daisy and I happened to be close. She got out with a few minor burns and scrapes, I... Did not.

I’ll spare you the gory details, but I have been confined to a wheel chair ever since, and I am due to be fitted for a prosthetic leg next week.

I won’t lie, the transition has been hard for everybody, me, my friends, my family. My other Pokémon have been hovering around me like over protective nannies for weeks. But I think out of all of us, Daisy has been taking it the hardest. Half of the day she spends locked to my side like a bodyguard, threatening to punch anyone that gets too close into oblivion. And the other half, well...

She’s started putting herself through some kind of hellish self training routine. Doing katas until she all but collapses from exhaustion, running laps for hours, fighting every Pokemon she can convince to fight, wild or trained. Daisy’s always been tough, and she’s always loved training, but this... This isn’t training, it’s a death march. I’m getting extremely worried, and that’s not even everything!

She’s stopped eating her favorite foods, deliberately choosing ones I know she hates, she won’t let me pet her anymore, she just steps out of reach, trying not to look at me. But most worryingly, she’s started cutting off her whiskers. She’s always been so proud of her whiskers, she groomed them every day, always got grumpy when I teased her for having a big ol’ mustache. Now anytime they get longer than an inch, she slices them off with her claws and throws them in fireplace, like some kind ceromony.

I’m almost certain Daisy feels guilty for coming out mostly unscathed, when I didn’t. She’s always been a bit protective, even before we joined the police, and she’s saved my life multiple times out in the field, but now she feels like she’s failed me, I think. I’ve tried to convince her that it wasn’t her fault, but that only seems to redouble her efforts. I’m terrified she’s going to burn herself out if she keeps going like this, and I don’t know what to do.

I know this is a pretty heavy question, but I I’m not sure who else to ask. Is there anything I can do to convince her that she doesn’t need to hurt herself like this? Or, something? Just anything to help! Losing my leg was jarring, but losing Daisy would be unbearable!... I just... I just want my best friend to be okay.

I am sorry for what you’ve been through, I cannot begin to understand what it’s like to be in your shoes, but like all recovery, physical or mental, this will take a fair bit of time to get past, you both may never fully return to how things were, but it can get better and you can both return to a full life together with work and dedication.

I’ve certainly seen Pokemon go to extreme lengths after dangerous incidents to protect their loved ones or themselves, in this case it would be wise to assume your pokemons suffering with a hefty bill of PTSD, and needs some actual therapy to handle the feelings and thoughts they’re having. We have facilities to accommodate that if you’re local to Johto, but most Pokemon centres will be able to put you in contact with reliable and certified practices to begin unravelling the issues that now plague Daisy.

That she considers herself to have come away reasonably unscathed is not true, yes your life has physically changed, but she needs to step back and take a look at her life too. Everything’s different now, and more specifically how she’s treating herself and handling her feelings. If that’s not trauma and injury, I don’t know what else it could be. You both came away with damage that day, physical or not. The first step is to help her see that, and to begin to understand that despite this all, you can both continue to move forward together if you can overcome the injury together, it is an event you shared, and you two can aid each others recovery with time and care.

There’s some seriously gifted therapists out there, those who study for years and can help far more than me, they’ll take time to break down the events, and start to really get into the feelings that your partner is going through. The cycle for Daisy right now comes around to self-punishment, and seems to be stuck on a loop. She needs time and space to process her feelings of guilt, grief, fear and loss, facing them instead of burying herself in her rigorous training. While it is difficult to discuss, you two have a strong bond that means you could talk with her. Try to remind her who’s truly responsible, she may be blaming herself, which is pretty common in these situations, but at the root of it, you were doing your routine job, and the bad guys, the Pokemon smugglers and goons are to blame. THEY caused the issue, not her, and while it may not sink in right away it’s worth saying, and sticking to. You said you told her that it wasn’t her fault, which is the gut reaction, perhaps giving her a logical target instead of herself will work better for now. Reiterating the true issue, and taking the heat off of her may help with other tasks such as self care, later down the recovery road.

Her guilt will feel terrible, but it kind of works as a protector, keeping her distanced from the worse, more overwhelming feelings of helplessness and powerlessness. In fact the guilt that masks this all will slowly make things worse over time. That underlying intense emotion below the guilt is what you both need to work through, but more than anything, she needs to face it, in her own time, come to terms with it, and eventually (hopefully) come to an understanding that life is an endless cycle of events, things will happen, but you have to pick yourself up and turn the lemons into lemonade. She could have lost you that day, that you came away with your life is a miracle, and now you two get more time together because of that. Luck isn’t something that runs out, it’s not like there’s only so much of it to go around, it is like wining the lottery. Sometimes 20 people win, other times no one does. It’s hard to accept, but there’s no greater order to stuff that happens, but when we can come to this conclusion, it’s oddly freeing. I’ve seen a fair few Pokemon in a symilar state who can move on when they realise there’s an odd randomness to the world and everything that goes on.

This is a job for someone with far greater skills than I, but you must help her by also looking after yourself, laugh when you can, show her that your life is still very full, and that you have loved ones, and joy to share with others. You mentioned that you’re due a prosthetic, and though the transition will be long and no doubt a little difficult at first, getting yourself back on two feet (kind of) will show her, and your other Pokemon that you’re willing to move forward. I think there’s a lot to be said about talking during this all. She wants to fight, to be strong, if this is how she’s going to cope, fine. If she’s out training, sit with her, spend whatever time you can by her side, as she’s taking this the hardest. You don’t have to say a thing, just try to do your best, without putting yourself in too much discomfort or pain. Reminding her who would be devastated if it had been her who got hurt, if she was not around, may help ground her back in reality a bit. You both got granted a gift that day, you came away alive, if she works so hard she burns out, that gift was wasted. She can use her kindness, and strength to help you, she can pass her knowledge and skill forward, but it’s hard to help others, and do your best if you’re exhausted beyond reason. Kind of like trying to give people bread from a basket but the damn basket is empty yknow? You got to take time to refill so you can help those around you again, so you have some bread to give. I know, probably sounds a little dumb but it’s always been the way I remember it.

Another very useful thing I’ve found with trauma survivors would be meeting others who have been in the same position. There’s plenty of support groups for both people and Pokemon who have been through events that left them in a difficult situation, emotionally and physically. Even here at the lab we have many species who have been left without limbs, with life changing damage, and a lot of them also have the emotional trauma too. She would probably do well to spend time with them, you can send her to a resort to retreat and recoup erase, mix with others who were just as angry as she is now, or you can take time to go with her to groups to interact with others. It’s one thing to have humans help, but it’s a whole other level of connection when Pokemon can help their own. They bond quicker, trust faster, and generally are more open to listening when it’s coming from a place of mutual experience. If she had time to talk to pokemon who actually lost their trainers, or parts of themselves, she may find some peace, even if only temporarily.

Don’t mention the whiskers, and where possible don’t offer her foods she actively likes, but also not ones she actively dislikes. Just for now. Start the ball rolling with just plain simple things that are neither good or bad. Indifferent is better than bad right now, the punishment she’s inflicting on herself will need addressing further, so contact a therapist, they use Rotom or porygon to translate from poke-speech to human language, and the repair can begin with a registered professional. My advice is not sound proof, I certainly feel like I have missed something important, it’s a big response, but it’s a start in the right direction, and should you come up to any further issues, message back and update us with what’s going on. With work you two will be on track to recover. Remember, patience is the biggest thing here, you two have history, and a therapist will no doubt take the sessions as a pair, and work with you to help Daisy feel less guilty over time. I hope you both find peace, and that both of you repair in due time. Good luck with the new leg, a step towards recovery for sure.

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD OFFICIAL VISUAL FANBOOK ー Interview Vol. 2 feat. Nao Nakamura

Source: DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD Official Visual Fanbook

Release date: 2013

Huge thank you to @keithvalentinex​ for providing the raw scans!

SECTION 1: Q&A

Q1. When was the series’ sequel decided on?

A: Around the time the first game ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’ was released in stores. We were fortunate enough to have already received news of an anime adaption at the time, so at some point we played with the idea of creating a fan disc to go along with it. However, if possible we wanted to hype up the series even more in anticipation of the anime’s release, which is how the production of a  ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS MORE, BLOOD’ series came to realisation.

Q2. Did you plan on introducing a set of 4 new characters during the early phases of development?

A: The initial draft we received from Rejet-sama mentioned four characters. We figured that with that amount, we could pack it into one game and create an equal amount of content as we did for the Sakamaki’s, so we proceeded with said idea. At one of the first brainstorm sessions, we casually dropped the idea of creating a game with 6 Do-M characters... (lol) However, that would stray too far away from the core concept behind ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’, so it obviously got rejected. (lol)

Q3. How did you go about writing the characters’ dialogue and actions?

A: I believe that the previous installment can be regarded rather groundbreaking within the genre of otome games. However, the boys coming across as too strong to the point where it would prevent someone from delving deeper into their character is something we reflected upon. We wanted to make up for that this time and created this game with the intend of exploring them even further.

Q4. What did you struggle the most with while writing the script?

A: This doesn’t apply solely to the script, but the fact there are so many romanceable characters in this game is what made it so difficult. However, we did not want there to be a difference in quality between the different characters’ routes. Despite our strong wish to please the playerbase, it made the distribution of time very difficult. The writers would first pen down the script, then Rejet-san would do the proofreading and make adjustments and then pass it on to us. However, reading a script while playing a game or simply reading it on paper is still different, so we were making minute changes down to the very last minute of development. We ran through the same process for the last game, but this time around, the total amount of content was just very large. We once again felt the struggle of putting in so many characters to choose from. However, we did this to create an even better game, so it was worth the struggle. 

Q5. Which character caused you the most problems while writing the script?

A: All of the Sakamaki’s. The four Mukami brothers who make their appearance in this installment may be Vampires, but they were once human just like the heroine, so in terms of emotions, they tend to sympathize with her more. As a result, it only makes the Sakamaki’s seem even more like they are the villains of the story. While this may seem obvious given their original setting of being both ‘Vampires’ and ‘extreme sadists’, it makes it very easy for the otome game element as well as the feelings they end up developing for the heroine to be lost, in which case they would no longer be the six brothers we wanted to deliver. Therefore, it was very difficult to convey to the player that the love they harbor for the heroine eventually makes them change, while still preserving the sadistic tendencies which stem from their nature as Vampires at the same time. The player base has spent quite a bit of time interacting with these brothers, and I am sure it was not always easy, but I hope said message was delivered to those who played our game.

Q6. Is there a character who underwent drastic changes compared to the last game?

A: All of them are still the same at the core, so my impression of them did not change depending on the scenario. I believe minor changes were done to the way some of the characters are drawn, but personally I perceive each character as a mix of both their previous and current representation. 

Q7. In this game, each section is divided into a ‘Situation Part’ and ‘Story Part’. Could you explain your intentions behind this?

A: When collecting feedback on the previous game, we received many complaints about the different chapters feeling inconsistent and all over the place. However, we always intended ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’ to be a game in which the player gets to enjoy these different kind of ‘situations’, so without losing this part of the enjoyment, we figured we had to make the plot progression easier to grasp, which is how the current structure was implementend. To make it even more clear to the player, we divided it into two sections and gave each of them a title, changing the names as well. 

Q8. What are parts which have greatly improved or parts you want us to focus on in comparison to the first game?

A: To ensure the player gets to enjoy the development in the heroine and characters’ thoughts and feelings, we applied small adjustments till the very last second. We hope that the people playing the game will take notice of this as well. 

Q9. Why do you think the series has received such a great amount of support?

A: I believe the impact of the ‘Do-S Vampire’ concept, Satoi-san’s eye-catching illustrations and the charm of the cast who voices the characters all play a big part in this. Furthermore, I also believe that the simultaenous announcement of both drama CDs and a game which took place during the early stages of development had a large influence as well. We were able to make a smooth transition from the release of the CDs to the release of the games, which made it easier for the fans to follow along with the franchise. We truly are grateful for that!

Q10. Were there any ideas you wanted to incorporate in this game, but were unable to do in the end?

A: This game features the same selection segment as the previous one in which scenario’s 1 ~ 6 raise your love meter, while scenarios 7 ~ 10 raise the SM meter. However, we implemented the distinction between the ‘situation part’ and ‘story part’ this time, so it might have actually been even more enjoyable if the situation part raises the SM meter instead...I think. Those kind of features may vary depending on the vision of the director and staff members, so I would like to use this experience to think of various possible routes for future installments, as well as to settle on an end product which is fitting for the franchise. Furthermore, this may seem like a task without an end but I believe that the voicing plays a big factor in delivering the story. It is a vital element of conveying the message you want to tell, in a way that whether or not the player understands the plot is often highly dependent on the voice work. Every time I find myself wanting to perfect this, but it is difficult to supervise all of it just by myself...However, there’s always next time, so I’d love to squeeze in the time to thoroughly check this!

Q11. Do you have any more games planned for the series at present? Would you personally like to create more sequels?

A: We do not as of now, but if there is a strong demand for it, we might just be able to develop another game. Personally I would like to make a stereotypical ‘fandisc’ but the very first thing that comes to mind with those is a 'sweet, romantic story’ so I do struggle a little envisioning how that would play out with a cast made out of nothing but intense characters. 

Q12. Please leave a message for the fans.

A: Thanks to the support we have received from all of you, we were able to create so much content for this franchise. I put my heart and soul into this game, so I sincerely hope that many people will enjoy it. Your impressions and encouraging messages are a great motivator as well, so I am eagerly awaiting those! The series may deliver new installments in the future, and to ensure that you all can continue to enjoy ‘DIABOLIK LOVERS’, we will continue to try our hardest together with Rejet-san, so we’d be happy if you could send us your heartfelt support. 

SECTION 2: THEIR FAVORITE EPISODES

Sakamaki brothers: The final few chapters of Ayato’s route left a strong impression on me. I couldn’t help but wonder if somebody could truly be that stubborn and in denial about their own feelings, insistent on calling the girl they love ‘a prey’ till the very end. I felt so frustrated when the heroine’s feelings just wouldn’t get through to him, tears welled up in my eyes. 

Mukami brothers: The part which gave me the most goosebumps during the development stages has to be Ruki’s Manservant Ending. Takagi Sakurai-san did a magnificant job portraying his silent madness, it was truly wonderful. Second place would be Azusa’s brute ending, even though I knew how the story would go, I still ended up feeling a little depressed by it, so please be careful when you play this scenario...

SECTION 3: NAO NAKAMURA CHOOSES ー SITUATION-DEPENDENT CHARACTER SELECT

Who would you choose in these situations? What’s the developer’s opinion?

S1. To sleep together with?

Best: Subaru, I feel like he has a good sleeping posture.

Worst: Subaru, he might not move around much in his sleep, but it’d still be uncomfortable and narrow in that coffin, huh? 

S2. To go on a trip together with?

Best: Shuu, I’m sure he’d just loaf around the lodge all day, so I get to enjoy the trip in whichever way I want!

Worst: Laito, I’d rather keep my distance from him. 

S3. To eat together with?

Best: Kou because I’m sure he’d happily gobble it up.

Worst: Kanato, I feel like the food would be lacking in nutrients.

S4. To study with?

Best: Ruki, I think he’d do a good job explaining everything accurately.

Worst: ???, honestly all of them...

S5. To go on a date with?

Best: Yuma, I actually think he would make for a great boyfriend.

Worst: Shuu, because everything would be a chore to him...

S6. To play a video game with?

Best: Ayato, he just seems like the type of guy you can always have fun and make some ruckus with.

Worst: Reiji, he seems super fussy.

S7. To play sports with?

Best: Shuu, I don’t really like exercising so...I’ll go with the person who seems unlikely to exercise in the first place.

Worst: Ayato, I don’t like exercise after all...

S8. To go on a drive with?

Best: Ruki, I’m positive he would look handsome behind the wheel.

Worst: Azusa, it’d be bad if his bandages were to get stuck around the steering wheel or the gear stick...

[lilyrachelcassidy]

Summer Nights (2)

A/N: Is that... is that...? The unbridled enthusiasm I’m hearing? Or are you trying to reach me with torches and pitchforks for being so untrustworthy? Assuming the first option.

Anyway -- Yes, as I promised, this is the second part of the Summer Nights which you would hopefully enjoy. Waiting for your feedback. It’s the INDEX if you need a refresher.

ALSO, I give a lot of credit to @drawlfoy and @bored-and-botheredwho helped me with editing this chapter and steamed off my emotional breakdown related to my writing (lmao). I love you so much gals and a big THANK U once more!!!

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: coarse language; alcohol; Narcissa turning into a shitty-mother (lol)

Tags: @war-sword @paradigmax @winnsmills @idkatee@bforbroadway @okaydraco

The next thing Draco knew, he was being woken up with a massive hangover in the snuggly, way-too-comfortable bed by the high-pitched squeal of his mother.

"You, darling, made a lot of trouble for yourself yesterday," Narcissa admonished her son, a glacial cool look on her face. Entering Draco's hotel apartment, she walked over to the window and opened the drapes with one swift movement, splashing an annoyed Draco with light. He groaned, not yet daring to complain due to his mother's livid mood, to say the least.

"You have no idea of what happened yesterday, do you?"

"Yyy-" was the only sound he could make. God, where to the fuck was he? He hadn't been this plastered in forever.

"Of course you don't." Narcissa shook her head and laughed nervously, although she made it plainly obvious there was nothing humorous about the situation. "You blacked out so hard in that sleazy bar there is no way you can recall anything from yesterday. Look at you -- you are squinting at me like I'm the sun!"

Draco nervously ran his finders through his disheveled hair. He was definitely not in the right mind to provoke the conflict. "I left you the note at the reception," he informed her, trying to slickly get out of the unenviable conversation. "Told the receptionist to hand it over."

Contrary to his mother's accusatory ascertainment, he actually had some glimpses of the previous night (or should he say an all-night rave?). There were for sure drinks -- a lot of drinks; a variety of kinds he didn't recognize from the magical world but still guzzled delightfully. The second recollection was dancing --which wasn't his intention, but with some luck of his -- got invited by some hot-looking chicks from across the table. And yes, he definitely remembers the swaying and the rhythmical moving of the hips along with some cheesy muggle vibes mixed with the smell of booze and weed. Maybe he even hooked up with one of the girls? The last thing he recollects before passing out, almost like through a haze, was seeing Narcissa's furious face screaming something incoherent at him. Overall, that's his all night wrapped in one.

"Do you think the mere note 'I will be fine' was going to calm down my shattered nerves? Draco Lucius Malfoy, I swear to our dear ancestors, I did not raise you to act so irresponsibly." She waved the finger at him warningly. “We come from rich history. You are the descendant from a line of successful forefathers who put their effort into building up our reputation. Do you think Lucius would approve of such unrestrained behavior? I’ve been already hearing of letting you be too careless. Is tha-"

"Mother, could we skip the lecture?" Draco snapped angrily, try as he might to suppress it. "I've heard it too many times. All I’m trying to have is a peaceful life. Without the prying eyes of the media and the meddling of my family..."

"And all I’m trying to have is an integrated, happy family to offer you support and love.” Draco opened his mouth to cut her in, but she shushed him with a wave, clearly suggesting 'Don’t even get me started’ meaning. “I’ve been- been trying  to get a job, going through the infelicitous job interviews and looking for a solution to help our household through the post-war crisis. Have you shown any interest in that? Any?"

"But mo-"

"The last thing I want to have on my mind is dealing with your ignorant, boyish transitional stages, and let me tell you -- you do not make it any easier for me," she said without taking a breath. She exhaled slowly and continued, this time forcing a softer tone. "I ask you one thing for this summer. Let it be an enjoyable time without unnecessary conflicts. We have come to the beautiful country as France. Let's make a good thing out of it."

Draco, who was already wide awake by the buzz of adrenaline, looked at her with a serious expression. Scanning her face made him suddenly realize how hard must it have been for her to bear everything, and seeing the bags of tiredness under her beautiful, hazel eyes stopped him from retorting. "Mother, no matter what happens, I'll always support you. Remember that."

Narcissa smiled. “Oh. I know, honey, I know.” This time she lowered her voice by two octaves, slowly sitting at the edge of the bed. “It’s just… people have been gossiping behind our backs lately, partly throwing the blame at us. All I’m trying to do is protect us from those tormentors. But your binge drinking is not making the deadlock any better, and it drives me mad.” She chortled a little bit and patted Draco’s palm. “So, until the rumors die down, all we can do is raise our chins high.” Narcissa ended, her voice encouraging yet plaintive.

The last thing Draco liked is seeing his mother on the verge of emotional exhaustion, like in this moment. He felt an instant surge of sympathy, so he quickly found himself locking Narcissa in the supportive embrace. She responded to the gesture by wrapping her arms around her son’s neck and stroking his cheek delicately with the back of her hand, just like in the old times. Both of them yearningly wished to come back to those years of frivolity.

"I promise I'll try to be better," Draco said with certainty. Seeing Narcissa’s eyes light up in gratefulness and the smiley dimples form on her features, he assured himself it was the right thing to say at that mother-son moment.

“How could I be so lucky to have such a wise boy,” she muttered proudly, kissing Draco at the top of his head. “But perhaps you should not restrain yourself too much during the holiday. I give you the partial alibi per se. Just keep it under control.”

Smiling, Narcissa got up, straightening up her impeccable posture as in the habit of the high-status woman. For the first time in that day, Draco noticed how elegantly she was dressed up: the black, partly lacy dress stopping at the level of her knees; the shiny-white pearl jewelry perfectly matching her entire outfit; dark yet not defiant high-heels; andhair fixed up in the tight bun. In Draco’s opinion, she looked too prim...even for herself.

"Mother, are you heading somewhere?" he asked curiously.

“Well…” she started, blushing. “I’m going to see my old friend in the coffee shop. I haven’t been there for ages, so it’s one of the chances to meet up with them. Hopefully, you are going to take care of yourself for a few days.” 

"Days?" he asked, shocked.

“You didn’t expect me to travel from town to town, did you?” she laughed lightly. “Bordeaux is quite a route to overcome. So I might be settling there for a few nights. Do you mind it, darling?”

Was he positive about the information? Did he mind? Partly yes. He didn’t imagine the prospect of wandering around the alleys of France on his own, especially on the first day of being there. But from the other side, seeing the joy painted on his mother’s face as she told him about the planned get-together made him feel less skeptical. Plus, getting rid of the extreme supervision for a few days wouldn’t be such a disaster as well.

As he calculated now, the ratio about the idea was 90% pro and 10% against.

"Of course not," he said simply, smiling at his mother.

"I knew you would understand." The crease of uncertainty on her forehead disappeared, and she let out a sigh of relief. "Meanwhile... I have already booked you the brunch downstairs but seeing as you are not in the wholesome state, I might order a delive-"

"Don't..." Draco opposed, rising from the bed and throwing the nearest shirt he could find over his head. "I'll come down. Some fresh air may be a cure for a hangover. Oh, and speaking of hangovers -- do you happen to have an anti-hangover potion?"

Narcissa let out a quiet chuckle and clapped her hands, seemingly satisfied with herself. Her tranquil gaze landed on the cupboard. "As a matter of self-preservation, yes, I do. Try searching inside the bedside cabinet."

He thanked her and then they talked with each other a little bit longer until Narcissa took the pocket watch out of her handy purse, noted the time ("Merlin's Beard, I am so tardy! I'm going to be alone on the platform if I stay here a minute longer!), and –a little startled with her inadvertency – hurriedly declared she should get going ("I really should get going Draco!”). Pecking her son twice on the cheeks as a farewell, she rushed towards the door and, for the last time, turned around to blow a brief motherly goodbye kiss. She left in such a hurry that the only sign indicating her presence in the room a few seconds ago was her familiar perfume lingering about in the air.

Draco gathered his clothes, and after half an hour of very difficult preparations while dealing with the consequences of yesterday's actions -- because the potion finally hits after two to three hours -- he found himself in front of the hotel's restaurant. As he walked in, he had to admit the room enchanted him with its lovely atmosphere, which brought back the memories of his first Hogwart's magical feast as an eleven-year-old boy.

With the large windows allowing plenty of light in, the entire space was in the classical style. The whole floor was clad with marble tiles in the white-like color; the walls were purely white and, apparently, someone must have put a lot of effort not to let a single dust spot appear in there; the ceiling was created in the concept of the sky resemblance making an impression of the real clouds hovering over heads. Three enormous chandeliers made a very good fit with carved wooden tables and similarly-looking chairs.

"Sir, would you like to make an order?" The decently looking waitress walked over to his table, with a white apron around her waist and green, deep eyes staring at him. "I'm Laura, by the way. I'll be serving you today."

He nodded, not really paying much attention to her primitive attempts of having a chit-chat. Cursorily glancing at the menu, he decided on having a french bagel with melted cheese and a coffee which was a specialty of the house as was written in the recommendations. The waitress scribbled something sloppily in her notes, smiled briefly, and then strode away.

The restaurant was almost fully emptied, and the only things heard in the background were a heated discussion of the couple beside the table and a composition of french, old songs prepared specifically for the guests.

Draco let out a small sigh of boredom, thinking yet again about the scenery of today. The only ideas that crossed his mind were either lounging in his stuffy hotel room or finding another hang-out spot to drown his sorrows.

After the War, he had found out it was pretty easier not to give in to any of the memories, blurring them out with the support of Scotch as a coping mechanism. Pansy and Daphne, his childhood friends, had tried to talk him out of it, kindly offering some tenderness and a chance for a conversation. But he had eventually stopped caring about any of that bullshit anymore.

That's why perhaps he'd just--

"Hi!" said a cheerful voice behind him, making him jump slightly at his seat with surprise. At first, he thought it was a mistake; that he must have been deemed as someone else considering he didn't know anyone around, so was in the opposite way. Turning around, however, made him realize it wasn't entirely the truth. "Do you remember me?"

"Hello." Of course, he remembered her. It was the receptionist from the previous day, whose name he didn't bother to memorize. Although he planned on avoiding potential candidates for a talk today, he said truthfully, "Yes, I do. You work here, right?"

"Yeah," she confirmed, smiling. "Can I join?"

For a moment, his sluggish brain did not process what she was asking about, and that made him frown. The girl probably comprehended what it was about because she explained, reading his confused expression. "...the table".

"Oh," he said, feeling more than embarrassed for his dumb reaction. "Yeah, help yourself."

"Thanks," she mumbled, pulling out the chair to make some room for herself. "Tough night, huh?"

The inquiry made him suddenly realize she must have witnessed the whole scene yesterday -- him asking her for a favor, Narcissa drilling her out for any clues about his disappearance, his arrogant attitude, and scurrility as he spoke to her. For sure, if she were smart enough, she would deduce what the situation was about.

He couldn't help it, but a wave of shame pierced through his body, and his stomach rolled slightly.

"A little," he answered minimizing a dimension of the spree, almost like a lie, and then he shook his head. "Listen, sorry about yesterday. I might have been...rude."

A small smile of courtesy formed on her lips. "I presumed you were a little off. Happens..." she said tentatively, gripping both of her hands together. "Oh, and about yesterday -- you lost this at the lobby." She took his wand out, and Draco's stomach made a second roll, the heartbeat hastening like a speed of light. He quickly tried to bring his face to the natural expression, but the girl had noticed that, and curiosity filled her eyes. "I thought I should give that back. In case it was valuable or something."

Fucking great... How was he supposed to elucidate that?

His throat felt so dry he couldn't let out a word of excuse. The moment was so mortifying to him he just reached for the familiar wand and nodded politely in gratefulness.

"Mhm..." Draco hummed, barely audible and momentarily deflated. "It's just... Something I've been training with..."

What the fuck is that supposed to mean, dolt?!

"Oh," the girl unconsciously flipped her hair off the shoulders, probably trying to make sense of the information. Furrowing her brows, she put her hand under the chin. "Are you a magician?"

"Kind of..." he agreed, not happy about the reputation he had just created for himself, but at the same time satisfied he didn't have to make up more explanations.

Luckily for Draco, the uncomfortable pause was rescued by the arrival of the food -- thank Merlin -- and even though he hadn't been hungry at all, now he felt an unexpected appetite to eat up the awkwardness. The girl probably caught a hint it was about time to end an encounter because she grunted.

"Listen," the girl started, clearing her throat yet again. "I better get going. But..."

The next thing Draco knew was that she was reaching to her pocket again, this time taking out something similar to a quill, only without ink. He assumed it must some kind of muggle invention, only a mechanical-like version. The girl uncorked it and suggestively drew out her hand, clearly signifying he should bring his hand closer as well. He obediently did.

"France is a big city," she said, glancing at him and sounding serious. "If you ever needed someone to show you around, let me know."

Without any preamble, her soft, delicate fingers grasped his forearm (he made sure to give her the right one), and with a few scrawls on his skin, she looked at him merrily, blushing slightly, and then left a table.

He stared after her for a while, looking at her curls bouncing behind her back as she walked away at a slow, monotonic pace. After a few seconds, she disappeared out of his sight, letting him finally peek at the note she had left:

'Call me, Y/N,' and a nine-digit number attached.

XOXOXO

A/N: I know this part might have contained too little Draco x Reader momento, but I promise it’ll get better as a plot develops. Also -- is it only my impression, or is Narcissa as changeable as the weather in Germany lol.