#but this isn't change!!! it's just a flashback!!!!!
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otome-dissection · 14 hours ago
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Dude I can't Luka's expressions in wiege fuck me up so bad all the parallels between Luka now and himself as a child get me so fucking bad like:
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The wiege MV (for the mostpart) is about going back to the beginning. It's about the in-betweens we didn't get to see. It's about the journey and it's about all the small moments that built all the characters (most importantly Hyuba and, imo, Mizi) up into what they came to be. For better or for worse, Hyuna and Mizi both grew up so far from what they used to be, went through the whole spectrum of experiences that humans in their position could possibly have, and its shown by the wide range of scenes/experiences/flashbacks they have just how much they've lived.
Meanwhile Luka, who is, objectively, on top of everything, far above what Hyuna, Mizi, and everyone else could've been or ever was, is by far the most stagnant as a person. Where we see Hyuna and Mizi go through all the motions of loving and losing and loving again (and losing again), Luka has always been stuck on Hyuna, and the second he sees her everything he's built up to is all thrown to the wind without a second thought, without any fanfare, because nothing for him as changed.
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Internally, Luka's still sitting against that tree in the garden and watching someone else grab his hand, Luka's still watching Hyuna count with his fingers and making him laugh for the first time ever, still clinging to her arm, still crossing the grass field to reach her.
Even years later, even as an adult, he's still looking at her like she's his salvation. When he sees her again on the stage he looks at her like he's just found his way back home after far too many years away from it, and when that gun is pointed at his head to stop him he looks at it like he's wondering why he's not allowed back inside.
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And then when he looks at Hyuna more and remembers the moments with her that he's been clinging onto more he forgets about it entirely. And then you know what happens from there. I'm sickkkk
The fact that a lullaby. A Fucking Lullaby, and presumably a song that most if not all kids of Anakt know and learned when they were still young (see: that scene of the main 4 singing it) was the song choice for this video. The fact that seeing Hyuna, just seeing her again like that is what brings that lullaby back, a melody from the beginning of it all that should be so far beneath Luka by now, but isn't. I can't bro.
Luka, live with love. Or whatever. Augh I don't even know
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traincat · 2 days ago
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Hi! I was rereading your fics and noticed that in Sticks and Stones you mentioned referencing Claremont's F4 run. Now it's haunting me because I can't find where their origin is brought up 🥲 So sorry if this has already been asked/answered, but perchance do you remember which issue it was 😅 (if not or even so, do you have any other good F4 origin moments?)
No worries, I've got you. It's a little hard to find if you don't know where to look.
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This is a flashback from Fantastic Four v3 (1998) #11-12, which recontextualizes the crash and turns it into a horror story for more than just Ben. Claremont is really interesting as a Fantastic Four writer, and he loves thinking through the implications of Johnny's powers. Here, Johnny absorbed the heat from the shuttle crash, but he can't hold onto it and he goes Nova. The only reason he doesn't kill Reed and Sue accidentally is because Ben shields them with his rocky body. It's a really interesting interpretation because it sets up this dynamic between Ben and Johnny where they can fight with each other because they can't really physically hurt each other unless they're really trying. Ben has a degree of protection against Johnny's flames, and Johnny is fast and fiery. Claremont loves Johnny's powers, though, and he puts a ton of thought into what Johnny can and can't do with them. He also writes a very introspective Johnny. He's one of my top writers of all time for Johnny characterization.
(Just don't go into his run expecting the plot to make sense. It won't. But the characters are fun and the interactions are all really charming. He introduces three new female characters who are all great, too.)
In terms of Johnny's relationship to his powers -- specifically a negative relationship, not just the joy we usually see from him -- I also really recommend the Burn! storyline, which encompasses the first six issues of the Human Torch (2003) miniseries. It's kind of an origin story? It starts before Johnny goes to space with the others and then picks up after the crash, when he returns to high school suddenly not the loser weird kid. Fast forward a few years and his old high school enemy looks him up to ask for his help solving a series of mysterious murders involving the victims being burned alive. Fun stuff, really great ruminations on Johnny, his understanding of fire, and the amount of control he has to exert every day.
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(Human Torch #3) You're going to have to put up with a lot of very early 2000s art. It's worth it.
Also not really an origin story but useful in understanding Johnny's origins is the Sue and Johnny power swap arc.
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(FF #520) To save Sue's life, Reed swaps her powers with Johnny's, but the timing is pretty bad. Galactus takes Johnny as his herald, while Sue struggles with keeping Johnny's powers under control.
But okay, Fantastic Four origin stories, a crash course. This isn't totally comprehensive, just kind of a collection of my favorites and ones I find interesting.
Fantastic Four (1961) #1: The mother of all origin stories. Pretty one and done. We have to beat the commies to the moon! Cosmic rays! Shuttle crash! We've changed in horrible and fantastic ways! The world will never be the same! It's worth reading if you haven't read it before, but it's no Amazing Fantasy #15.
Byrne's retcon: Byrne doesn't particularly do anything interesting regarding the crash, but it's useful to know the changes he did make to the origin, because they were a point of contention for a long time. In Lee and Kirby's run, Sue and Reed are established as next door neighbors and childhood sweethearts. It's all very sweet. Byrne, though, LOVES an age gap with an older man and a younger woman. This is a theme you'll see repeatedly if you follow his work. Byrne retconned things so Reed first met Sue when he was renting a room at her aunt's house when he was in college and Sue was twelve. It's not great, but it does introduce the concept of Sue and Johnny living with their aunt after their father's incarceration. No run previously had ever mentioned such a thing. While the age gap was both immediately retconned out (Simonson did it as soon as he took the reins, establishing Reed and Sue as college friends, but it didn't stick) and eventually retconned out (Fraction retconned it so that Reed did stay at Aunt Marygay's boarding house but that Sue was over eighteen), the boarding house origin stuck. Not much to do with the actual "getting powers" aspect but interesting in terms of where Sue and Johnny were living when they met Reed and Ben.
Fantastic Four Mythos: Now we're cooking. Mythos is a beautifully illustrated oneshot retelling of how the Fantastic Four gained their powers. It's gorgeous, fun, and emotional. It's probably my second favorite origin story after Claremont's take.
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Mythos posits that the emotional state the four were in at the time they were cosmically irradiated is responsible for their powers. Sue was trying to hide, Reed was trying to reach her, Ben was shielding Johnny, and all Johnny could think was that it was hot. It's an interesting interpretation. Sidenote, I'm pretty sure the new Fantastic Four movie is drawing inspiration from Mythos, just based on the visuals.
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I love him so much. Idiot baby.
Fantastic Four: First Family: Oh boy where to go with this one. I don't dislike it, and I think it explores the origin in a much more realistic way, but I wouldn't say it's my favorite. First Family is a miniseries that takes a more grounded approach to the origin story. After the crash, the four are imprisoned on a military base as they adjust to their powers.
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I think there's a lot of interesting ideas in this version, but I wouldn't really recommend it to any new readers as an origin story. I think it's more of an interesting way to examine things after you're already basically familiar with the FF's early days if you want to see a more grounded take on the origin.
Fantastic Four: Season One: Another miniseries retelling the origins. Is it good? Not particularly. Is it shiny? Yes. Does aged up Johnny work as a pinup model before the accident? Also yes.
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It's giving the Chris Pine leather pants desert photoshoot. Again, not my first pick for an origin story by far, but if you want to read some mildly campy nonsense, you could do worse. If you don't want to read it, which is like, probably the smarter idea, please note that Johnny registered the domain name hottieonfire.com and that he's obsessed with the whale from the American Museum of Natural History. Samesies.
Ultimate Fantastic Four #1-5: This feels like the equivalent of going "want to make some bad decisions." Ultimate FF is NOT good. I know I've said that a hundred times. I've also read it a hundred times so who's the idiot now. I do think the origin is an interesting take on things, though, and like First Family it's more grounded in the exploitation of the Fantastic Four by the military. So not good, wouldn't recommend it as baby's first Fantastic Four origin, but not completely not worth reading.
Origin stories I don't recommend:
Fantastic Four v2 (1996): This is when the FF got bubble universed. It's basically a retelling of the early days that doesn't add anything new or interesting.
Fantastic Four: Life Story: Life Story was an interesting experiment. The idea was to have a six issue miniseries where each issue took place during a specific decade -- issue #1 would be the 60s, #2 would be the 70s, etc -- moving the characters through those decades aging in real time and dealing with both the major storylines of those decades as well as the real world events that were happening. Like I said, interesting experiment. The actual comics, though, and I'm counting the Spider-Man one here too, were bad. Like so bad. I'm going to give you the only thing of note in it here and then you don't have to read it. (Don't let this fool you into thinking the rest of the comic is progressive in any way; the writer decided Jewish Ben should say pork was "the food of the Gods" and also that Romani Dr. Doom should put people in concentration camps. Whole yikes.)
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(FF Life Story #2) That figure sitting in bed with Johnny sure looks like a guy. Interestingly, for your value of interesting, "perpetual bachelor" Johnny dies in 1986 in issue #4, and issue #5 immediately opens with T'Challa creating a cure for AIDS. Take that one as you will.
One final kind of a rec. This isn't really an origin story for the Fantastic Four as characters, but rather a retrospective meta take on the creation of the Fantastic Four as a series. Fantastic Four: Unstable Molecules is an Eisner winning miniseries dedicated to the fictionalized "real people" who inspired the Fantastic Four, positing that one night at a dinner party on Long Island, two comic book creators encountered a family fight so epic it inspired them to create a comic book. Deeply introspective, it's take on Johnny and the Mole Man (yes really) really shines.
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(Unstable Molecules #3) Sorry to turn this into a "Johnny is flaming" discussion once again. It just kind of comes up naturally when you look at his origin stories.
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butterflydm · 2 days ago
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Wheel of Time s3 Trailer!
It is here! <3 (was I refreshing the prime video page over and over until it appeared? yes, yes I was)
Okay, two and half minute trailer, here we go!
First impressions: I was just watching rapt the whole time, but there was excited screaming going on inside my head. It looks so epic! Things that stood out right away -- we see Liandrin confronted by the Hall of the Tower, we get a bit more of the drinking scene with the boys, looks like Egwene finds out about Lanfear & Rand by running across them in TAR (ouch), we get Elayne giving Rand political advice.
Second impressions, with pausing and studying the scenes more:
We start with a shot of the group in the Aiel Waste, walking in the distance.
The next shot is, I think, from the stills of the Wondergirls dressed up on horses -- looks like Egwene is taking the lead. That's from her Accepted Test, so I'm thinking we might get the Wondergirls doing to Rand what Liandrin & Co were doing in the first scenes of the series when they were chasing down that man who could channel.
Long-haired guy standing in a river. Quality is either not good enough to tell who he is, or I haven't seen him before.
We get Siuan confronting Liandrin in the Hall -- and there's Nynaeve, as a witness against Liandrin, is my guess. We get several shots of the confrontation here and then out in the streets. I count either five or six BA sisters with her, I think. Definitely see Joiya.
We have Egwene already noting the cracks in the Tower: "This Tower is destroying itself from the inside out". That does make me feel like we're likely to get the coup this season, for it to be called out that directly.
"Moiraine setting up the stakes of why the Tower being in civil conflict is bad for Rand and the world. Then we get some shots of the Battle of the Two Rivers, I think.
Rand is looking at the portrait of Mat, cute cute. And Perrin does smile in this scene too! That's good.
Lan warning Nynaeve that ALL of them are in danger (per the changes the show set forth in s1 with Fain telling Perrin that all of the ta'veren are of interest)
Oooh, I think that's a shot of Nynaeve being interrogated by Moghedien in Tanchico!
Faile and Perrin in the orchards. I wonder if this is going to be about his family that Jordan invented for Shadow Rising or if it's going to be about Laila.
So... is Lanfear trying to overwrite/play a re-do on Rand's memories of Egwene? The two of them sitting on that mountainside is very much like Rand and Egwene sitting together in the first episode.
And again, it looks like TAR is how Egwene finds out that Rand was with Lanfear last season, and we'll get her asking him if he loves Lanfear.
Hmm, that scene with Egwene and the Aiel woman in TAR looks like it's the scene with her and Amys, but is that the actress playing one of the other Wise Ones?
Egwene is going to have flashbacks to being damane. :-(
Dragon tattoos!
The glass columns!
Oooh, the silver rings! They look neat!
Yeah, confirmed that the spinny futures are what she sees in the rings.
the picture quality isn't good enough for me to be sure but: is that Elayne or Morgase on the Lion throne there? Might be confirmation that we're going to get to see Elayne's Accepted Test too? Or it might be a Morgase flashback?
Mierin scene! Our final flashback in the glass columns, I assume.
Also! Elayne and Rand convo <3 <3 <3 <3
"Make them believe in you and they will follow you to the ends of the earth." Wearing the same shirt that we saw in the "Drinking with Aviendha" still. She's so sincere here. I love her so much. Giving Rand politics lessons my beloved.
In conclusion: AAAAAAAAH!
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morrigan-sims · 1 year ago
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I was playing with looks for Rook for during his time with Wolf the other day, and LOOK AT HIM!! My poor, tortured boy...
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torgawl · 1 year ago
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if you call himmel pathetic i'm throwing hands at you. himmel showed the purest form of love for frieren and you guys think that's pathetic? what's pathetic is not respect other people's feelings or boundaries and acting like people owe you anything just because you like them. himmel was happy to have a friendship with frieren within her own conditions just because he genuinely enjoyed her as part of his life. he was happy to wait for her for his entire life is he had to but he also never stopped living for himself. that's fucking beautiful. loving someone so much you are able to let them go, not wanting to change who they are or impose anything on them? unconditionally, nonetheless? that's the point of life.
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maliceious · 3 months ago
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itwoodbeprefect · 1 year ago
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flashbacks to dialogue that happened less than a minute ago are annoying and a little insulting for obvious reasons, unless it's in bad buddy episode 5 [2/4] and pat is having entirely serious sepia toned flashbacks to fifty seconds ago while almost shoving a set of drumsticks he hasn't even paid for yet up his nose. then it's brilliant and world changing
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#don't mind me i'm just chewing glass today#when the architecture band starts playing at freshy day and ink says to pat hey isn't that the song you two played that christmas?#it's like yeah... but that's a maddeningly casual way to refer to an event that in the context of the series wide metaphor#is really more like their parents caught them making out in a closet. and then pran got sent to boarding school over it#and NOW pran is up there on stage playing that same song again. looking right at pat when he announces it. but plaYING IT with WAI#and not intentionally. not in a mean sort of way. because pran doesn't know#he doesn't KNOW that pat's been shoving drumsticks up his nose while being struck cold by Love Signs#because how could he. all he knows is that very recently pat was sighing in relief that pran isn't his rival for ink. because pat likes ink#pran does NOT know that in the (very short. more than fifty seconds but still very short) meantime#pat has tried to figure out if ink might like him back. pat has in the process accidentally figured out that HE might like pran#AND pat has tried to confess his feelings to ink only for her to go. very kindly. are you sure you like me that way? i don't think you do#(because he's the wrONG SIBLING. she likes the OTHER SIBLING. which is hilarious but a different thing to go insane over)#and it's like. pran doesn't know!!! pran is just having a day like any other. pran has Known forever#he doesn't KNOW that when they're standing there surrounded by guitars (it's essentially a gay bar. don't even get me started)#(because that's a joke but it's also not. not really. it is but it's not. you know)#!! that when they're standing there surrounded by guitars. pat is suddenly going OH. in sepia toned flashbacks to fifty seconds ago#when they were ALSO standing there surrounded by guitars btw. which is the point. nothing has changed but maybe everything has#it's the same thing it was fifty seconds ago but maybe it's not. maybe pat suddenly hears the music that's been playing forever#and maybe this is way too many fucking tags. i don't even think this is the glass i was chewing originally#*#bad buddy#bad buddy the series
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badgirlcoven-official · 4 months ago
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No you misunderstand tumblr user writing long analysis post the people saying ACAB about death note are fully aware that the theme of the anime is "no one should have the power to kill" it's just that this message is fucking stupid and idealism perpetuated mainly by the privileged to stop their victims from violent uprisings
And the fact they chose a cops son and he only really targets criminals (an oppressed class, even if the things they've allegedly or assuredly done are awful) to illustrate this point further highlights how self-righteous and poorly thought out this message is
#and like#yeah fucking of course LEGALLY no one person should have the power to kill#but wholesale condemning killing and violence and the perpencity for it as some moral failing is largely ignoring the actual world#we live in like#yall r like be gay do crime but only if that crime is palatable and hurts no one ever <3#cmonnnnn#like I WOULD do good things if I had a death note#I can think of many ppl who could#if his target was billionaires and government leaders he would have been doing good#death note is a power fantasy and from the perspective of the mainstream privileged demographic that power is corrupting and forbidden#for the rest of us that power fantasy punches up#it envisions a world where we don't have to sit with the knowledge people we care about are getting their brains blown out#without doing anything direct to stop it because we can't and have no individual power#if you're looking for media that involves corrupting power in leftist movements that addresses what actually corrupts well intentioned#people then I reccomend the locked tomb#it's an overarching theme but it's explored in depth during the flashback sequences of the 3rd book#the villain started as a regular marginalized dude who is in activist spaces#but is given godlike supernatural abilities#and they do corrupt him but it isn't because these powers are inherently corruptingb#it's because his hatred for the privileged came first before his love for the oppressed (which includes himself)#he does these bad things bc he failed to decolonize his brain#and it's a cautionary tale that hits a whole lot harder imo#bc he's a good guy initially. bit of an asshole on a personal level but certainly not a planet killing supervillain#and his morals don't change very drastically#its just so much morr interedtkng to me
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tidaltow · 1 year ago
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percy’s feelings about luke just became 1000000x more complicated which I didn’t think was even possible but here we are and we are far from okay 💃🕺💃🕺💃🕺(rambling about the finale in the tags [spoiler alert ig])
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thursdayg1rl · 2 years ago
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didn't realise that the summer I turned pretty season 2 was still going lmaoo. I finished episode 6 and was like well damn I guess this is it. here we go again ig
#the problem with this series is that it is too set in todays time#but the books are so so 2010 coded and it kind of ruins the whole vibe#even the little choices of adding in modern music.. idk man. like my Jeremiah has never heard of Ariana grande and I know this in my heart#its so. Netflix originalified#and I know we will look back in 10 years to cringe at this bc even now I am cringing at it#and then the casting. that's a whole separate issue#she really said Conrad was 'dark dark dark' and they made him barely a brunette (can you use brunette for men? many have been wondering)#and Jeremiah isn't even properly blond like can we commit to the bit please. be serious about this im not even playing#bc they could have dyed their hair its not even that deep#I like belly at least like I look at her and I think yeah that could be belly#and Taylor as well actually. not in season 1 but her season 2 hair I believe it can be her#the only good thing they changed is making Jeremiah bisexual#and also I think the characters aren't obsessed with each other how I thought they should be after reading the books#the stakes are simply not that high when in the books it was like life or death for belly to get Conrad to notice her#ALSO not enough flashback scenes to their childhood#I don't even care ab this like that but it's just the principle of the thing! like it could have been great and they fumbled it completely#I need to have some kind of input in these things they should hire me as a creative director 😤#also I came here to say that Jeremiah is wearing an outfit I have worn many times before but I got sidetracked
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madamechrissy · 1 month ago
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I'll look After You
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Pairings: Satoru Gojo x fem reader (reader is a mom)
Summary: You longed to hear from Satoru, After an epic night hooking up in a club bathroom, sure you'd been strangers, but he has your number, he made you feel so special... but... he never contacts you again. Ten months later, you have a beautiful baby named Reign, with those exact blue eyes. You never saw him again, couldn't even find him, so now, you are living your life as a single mom. Messy bun, dark circles, exhausted, you run into Satoru one day, and he sees her, his baby girl, and sees you struggling, he knows then, you're what's been missing in his life.
CW: MDNI- Sweet and emotional story, SO MUCH fluff here, Satoru is a freaking doll, misunderstanding led to him not knowing (nothing is kept from anyone on purpose) Fluffy long oneshot, watch Satoru fall in love with reader and his lil girl. Gojo being a dad and being cute! Explicit smut at the end- warnings- breed kink (it's me???) oral (f receiving) dirty talk, possessive Satoru (When isn't he?) Also some flashbacks to the original bathroom hookup (fingering, dirty talk etc) Sexual tension, 10.6k WC <3
Here is the full oneshot! Comments and reblogs SO appreciated if you enjoy <3
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You often wondered about him, Satoru was his name.
As you look down at your baby girl, with her brilliant blue eyes while she’s cooing happily, giving you a gummy little grin, you wonder what he’d think if he knew about her. The random guy at the bar you gave your number to after hooking up in a bathroom, the guy who never called, the guy with no social media of which to speak. The guy you never, ever saw again.
Your baby’s father, the best thing that ever happened to you, surely, but also it was very difficult, being a single mom, you’d have to go back to work soon which you were dreading, spending sleepless nights up feeding, changing her. It had been a rough pregnancy, and a shocking one at that, people had questioned you over and over, some mentioned not having her.
But something in you knew you could do this, you could have this baby, you’re broke as fuck but she has all she needs, and she makes you so happy, but those eyes are unmistakable. No one has eyes like that, except her and her… well was he her dad? You wonder if he’d run ten million miles from you if he knew, or would he have been okay with it?
It’s odd that just a night of fun, alcohol and being on antibiotics created this amazing little girl, but you can’t be upset, not when she brightens your world. But you still ache at times, for her to have a dad, you hope you’re enough. You wonder about him though, the bright energetic man, the one that had made you feel more in one evening than anyone ever.
The last man you’d been with.
Yes, it’s been that long, Reign was two months old, so you’re damn near a year, you say it’s because you’re so busy, but something deep in you knows that you felt something for him, deeper than the obvious physical. Something about how he looked at you, at how he laughed, at how he made you feel so special.
You assume it must have been some act, clearly, here you are, alone after all. You both only knew each other’s first names, it’s true, but he had that number. Maybe it wasn’t all you thought it was? Maybe he just was that sort of guy, the one that made women think they’re his everything with one of his kisses, maybe you were just too drunk, and he was too pretty.
You blink a bit, shaking the haze thoughts of him as you yawn a bit, exhausted from Reign keeping you up all night, her tummy had been hurting. You’re sleepily putting things in the cart, baby items, groceries, the essentials, you catch sight of yourself in the mirror above the produce, wincing then. You have a messy bun and are in pajamas, god help you if you ever wanted to meet a guy.
‘Oh hi, I have a baby with a random blue eyed dude from a bar, I’m broke as fuck, and I wear pajamas to the store. Wanna date?’
Yeah. That would go over well.
“It’s… it’s… you!?” You sleepily look up then, so exhausted you barely register the six foot three man for a moment, then suddenly it all hits.
He stares at you, those blue eyes, the eyes your baby has, wide now, his pouty pink lips dropped open. He’s just as gorgeous as you remember him, like it’s some dream, you feel weak then, chest rising and falling as your breaths come too quickly. He steps closer to you then, he hasn’t seen her yet, nestled in her little car seat on the cart, you’re panicking.
“Do you even remember me? Oh my god, that night my phone broke, and I had just got it, they couldn’t transfer the numbers! And I tried to look you up? But I couldn’t find you… and I never saw you… and then- fuck I’m rambling.” He laughs nervously, swiping his hand through his snowy locks. “Forgive me, please… what I mean to say is… Hi?”
“Hi…” Your baby whines then, and Satoru pauses, blinking and you move to the side then, he steps closer when Reign opens her eyes, grinning at him.
Satoru’s heart pounds in his chest, his entire world tilts on its axis, he was already so thrown off by seeing you again, the girl he hasn’t been able to stop thinking of, but now… he looks at you in shock, you look exhausted, but so beautiful, your eyes tear up then, he watches your shoulders slump, then he looks back at the baby, realization sinking in.
“She’s… is she… there’s no way…”
“She’s yours, I only hooked up with you for the past… year.” You manage to say softly, right in the middle of the fruit aisle, Satoru was finding out you have his baby.
“You did this alone?” He says then, blinking back emotions for a girl he barely knew, but who now has a part of him, a part he wants to know so badly suddenly, shocking him.
“I had no clue who you were, how to tell you, even if so, it’s not your responsibility okay? I take care of her just fine, I make it work.” Satoru’s heart breaks then, seeing how tired you are, seeing the endless baby items and cheap toilet paper, a cheap bottle of wine, is that all you get yourself?
You did this alone, you have his baby alone, altering your life while he’s living his just the same, partying with his best friends, working and living a luxurious life. Satoru was rich, and it’s clear his baby and his baby’s mother are struggling, and he’s here doing what? Could he have tried harder to find you!? Could he…
“We’re okay, you don’t have to worry. I’d never come for you for anything, I am happy being her mommy.” You say with a tired smile, reaching to touch her little chubby cheek, and Satoru has never seen anything so beautiful, the two of you.
He’s felt so empty for this year, is this what he was missing?
“Can I… please… Can I know her?” He asks, gulping now, and you blink in shock, nodding quickly.
“I would love that.” You can’t stop your tears then, sniffling and shaking your head. “Please, let’s talk out of a produce aisle?” You whisper, he nods quickly, unable to take his eyes off you, off his baby.
After paying for your groceries, which you protest to, he’s out by your car now, a little minivan that makes him smile, picturing you as some pretty soccer mom already. You take her out of the car seat then, holding her carefully, smiling up nervously at Satoru. His chest swells at seeing you hold her, some instinct takes over, he instantly knows then.
He needs to take care of you both.
“I thought you’d freak out if you knew, be upset or want nothing to do with…”
“God no, no. I mean I don’t know what to think, but… she’s beautiful. Like her mom.” His words make you flush.
“I’m a wreck, Satoru, look at me.”
“You just need some help, doing it all alone?”
“You don’t have to, okay? I can do it.”
He brushes a tendril back off your temple, sighing as he looks at you, at those dark circles that just make you more beautiful, but show the fragility you’re keeping under wraps as best as you can. “I want to help, this is on me too.”
“It’s not, I was on the pill but… antibiotics.” You grumble, holding the baby to your chest now, she is sucking on her little binkie, bright pink. “It’s all on me, I’d love you to be in her life, but don’t feel obligated to pay for anything.”
“You’re stubborn, will she be too?” He narrows his eyes, and you giggle then, the first time in a long time you’ve heard that sound.
“She’s already stubborn, she gave me a hard time, wouldn’t come out.” She wriggles then, and you step a little closer to Satoru. “Wanna hold her?”
“Can you… tell me how to?” He asks, and you smile at him, for a tall, buff man he’s so sweet and precious, nervous even.
“Yes, hold your arms like this.” He does as you ask, holding his arms out, as you gently place Reign in his arms. “Hold her head just so. There you go, hey Reign, this is your dad.”
“Reign?” He asks, in shock as he looks into her eyes, his eyes, but she has your nose, your hair. His lips. She’s… “Perfect.”
“Isn’t she? Is it okay if I call you her dad?”
“It’s… perfect.” He says again, smiling at you, tears making his snowy lashes spike just so, you feel so complete then somehow. You can’t explain it, seeing this melts you, and Reign is so happy she's cooing, sucking on her binky and staring at him, you watch him melt right with you. “HI there, dumpling.”
“Dumpling? She's got a nickname huh.” He grins so big, nodding.
“I moved out of the city for the past year but I just came back to town. How far are you?”
“Oh like ten minutes. Would you… like to come over tomorrow? I'd say today but my place is a wreck.”
“I'd love to. Can I get her something please?”
“You don't have to… but she can always use binkies she throws these things. Ugh, see?” Reign spits out her binky and Satoru snorts as you catch it. She then touches his cheek, and he chokes up.
“I… oh my god. I love her?” He whispers in wonder, and you exhale, blinking tears that refuse to stop falling. “Is that crazy?”
“No. I loved her when I first saw her too. Fuck I'm a wreck “
“Hey…” He steps closer, handing you her carefully and then placing his big hands on your shoulders. “I am here now for both of you, however you'll let me be. Shh.” He brushes your back, resting his head on yours as you hold her close.
“I never thought I'd see you, tell you. I'm overwhelmed. I'm sorry.”
“Yeah me too.”
Of course he is, fuck. He just found out he's a dad, and he's honestly taking it better than anyone could. He brushes your tears away, and your pulse quickens, you clear your throat then. “We don't even know each other, it's insane huh?”
“Absolutely insane. But… I can't wait to spend time with her.” He says softly, you smile up at him, trying not to read so much into it, so happy he wants to be in her life but you have to remember that doesn't mean with you.
“Come over tomorrow I'll cook you lunch? Please don't break your phone again.” He laughs then, nodding as you two exchange numbers.
“Last name is Gojo. I hope one day hers can be?” And yours, he thinks, but he knows it's crazy to say, as he watches you smile so pretty through your tears.
“Maybe we can do that someday. Well, Reign, say bye to dad.” Satoru kisses her little forehead, leaning up then, thinking of kissing you. You both stand there a moment before he opens your door, and you set Reign back in her little pink car seat. You smile up at him again. “I am sorry I'm in pajamas by the way, ugh.”
“They're cute, little snowmen.” You snort, rolling your eyes as you slide in your car, hoping you will see him tomorrow with everything. “See you both soon.”
You drive away, and Satoru calls his driver and assistant then. “Can you order me everything a baby girl needs? And I need it by tomorrow.”
******
There’s a knock on your door, you peek in the mirror one more time, you took a bath last night, your hair is shimmering and clean for once, you have just a little concealer on for those dark circles, a little lip gloss. You’re wearing clothes and not sweats or pajamas, a little top with a cardigan and jeans, nothing fancy but you look human again.
You can’t believe that Satoru will come, until you open that door and see him, standing next to a tired looking dark haired man holding an insane amount of glittery pink bags. Satoru’s grinning at you, wearing Gucci shades and a dress shirt probably worth more than your rent, only one little bag in his hand swinging side to side as he greets you.
“Satoru, you… what is all this?” You ask curiously, and he shrugs a broad shoulder, handing you the little bag.
“All that is for Regin, this is for you though.”
“What!? It’s too many things!”
“Miss, may I?”
You realize he’s just standing there struggling, and come to then. “Oh, yes I’m so sorry! Put them on the table?”
Satoru and Kiyotaka walk in then, you have a little place, it’s about the size of Satoru’s living room altogether, but it’s comfy and clean, lived in and every bit of it has something of you. He sees pictures of you pregnant on your little silver fridge, pictures of Reign all over, along with Christmas cards all placed with magnets. He sees you’ve baked cookies, too, the scent making him starve.
Almost as much as your scent, so sweet and intoxicating, as he stands next to you, gesturing to the bags. “I wanted to get her something, remember?”
“This is a whole store though!” Kiyotaka leaves now, and you’re delving into the bags, gasping as you pull out the softest, fuzziest pink blanket. “Oh my god…”
“I just had them buy everything for a girl? Is pink good?”
You giggle then, smiling as you pull out a pretty pink dress. “She doesn’t know colors yet, Satoru.”
Of course she doesn’t.
Satoru truly doesn’t know shit about kids, he called and told his mom, asking for advice, and almost gave her a heart attack he thinks. “Of course not, I… where is she? Is she napping?”
“She is, but don’t worry she usually wakes up soon. Oh these are so cute, how expensive are these!? She’s gonna wear them for like a week!” You ask then, pulling out a little baby pair of fancy shoes, then two more. “She can’t even walk yet… ah, but these are so cute though.” You’re clearly conflicted, he chuckles a bit, then you stand up. “Oh my god, I’m a shitty host!”
“You’re cute.” His words, all husky with that deep voice of his, make you flush now, making you even cuter to him. “You look pretty today.”
“Oh thank you, I didn’t want you to think I’m constantly a monster.” He snorts, rolling his eyes.
“You’re cute either way. This was you pregnant?” He asks, as you lead him to the kitchen.
“Yes, I was a whale, oh god.” He touches the photo then, a longing surging through him, he missed this, he missed you like this. He feels an ache washing through him, looking at your glowing face and round tummy.
“No, you were beautiful.” Your breath catches, eyes shooting to his as he looks at you now, feeling something pulling you towards him, it’s like he takes the air out of your lungs just standing here.
“You’re very sweet, Satoru… thank you.” You manage to breathe out the words, when he looks down at your body now, heating it up with his gaze.
“Did you like being pregnant?”
The words throw images in your mind, of him over you, putting more babies in you, fucking insane ones that you shove down quickly. He was clearly caring, and wanting to be involved, you needed to keep your thoughts to that and only that, despite the way your stomach is fluttering at his proximity.
“I did love being pregnant, feeling her move and kick, singing to my tummy and feeling her calm down. But towards the end it was really rough, because she decided she wasn’t coming out.” You say with a little laugh, Satoru can see in how you speak how much you adore her. “Would you like to see more pictures later?”
“I’d love to. You didn’t open what I got you.”
“You shouldn’t get me anything. Oh, do you want some cookies?”
“Yes please.” He starts munching down on them, moaning. “You baked these?”
“I bake when I’m nervous? It gets insane how much I bake.” He smiles then, you’re tucking your shimmering hair behind your ear, grabbing him a glass of milk before you go grab the little bag.
“Open it, now.” He sips his milk as you sit on the barstool by the counter, fingers gently pulling apart tissue paper, until you open a little box and see a gift card.
“To a spa!? I haven’t ever been to a spa? What I can’t!”
“You will. When you’re comfortable I could watch her, so you could get some time to yourself.” You sniffle then, the kindness of him after all the overwhelming months you’ve had is too much, you shake your head.
“I can’t, it’s all too much, you shouldn’t feel like you have to do this!” He walks to you then, brushing a tear from your cheek, exhaling as he leans down so close.
“Sweetheart, I’m fucking rich, okay?”
“I assumed… wealthy with your clothes…”
“No, filthy fucking rich. Let me spend it on my baby and get her mom just a little thing please? How can you take care of her without any care for you?”
“I just do it, Satoru. I just do it.” He brushes more of your tears now, his lips far too close, you still don’t know him truly but the gesture is melting every defense you may have had up.
“Just go relax one day, not now, when you’re more comfortable.” Reign starts crying then, making Satoru back off just as you’d leaned your chin up, and you two had been so close. You back away too, nervously standing.
“I’ll go get her for you.” You say with a big smile, eyes still watery, and then you bring her out, Satoru’s heart swells even more than it did seeing you, he eagerly picks her up this time, versus being so nervous as before. “Dad spoiled you already.”
“Not even close to spoiled yet.” He murmurs, snuggling her to him.
“Have a seat, please.” He sits on the couch with her, you take one of the many little blankets, gently laying it over her and then sitting on the couch with him, as he stares at her in wonder.
“She barely cries?”
“That’s around you, it seems. She likes you already.” Your words fill him with far too much happiness, a happiness he’s never known, but also such a longing.
“I wish I could have been there.” He whispers, brokenly, the handsome white haired man holding your little girl, and suddenly you can picture it, maybe his big bright smile during what was a difficult labor.
“You’re here now.” You assure him, a hand gentle on his shoulder, the caress delicate before you think better of it, pulling your hand back. “I thought about you a lot, I mean… I tried to find you.”
“I wish you had.”
“Really?” He nods then, emotional. “Satoru Gojo, you surprised me, I thought for sure you’d turn and run.”
“Nah, why? Look at her.” She’s blinking her long lashes, grinning at him then. “So what do I like… do with her? Besides holding her?”
You laugh softly then, it’s so easy to have him around, it feels so natural that it’s weird. “Well you can feed her a bottle I pumped, but I breast feed mostly.”
He gulps now, looking at your top, where your nipples were pressing against the thin fabric. “Oh?”
“Yeah, depending on her mood, sometimes she is vicious. I’ll show you.” You gently take your top up, feeling his gaze when you pull off your nursing bra.
“That thing is easy access.” He murmurs, you giggle a bit, nervous for him to see you when you let it drop, revealing one of your pretty breasts to him, leaving him dazed before he snaps out of it, handing you Reign.
It’s very intimate, sitting with him while you feed her, she’s sucking hard, so hard you wince then, her little long nails digging into your breast as Satoru smirks. “You’re gonna laugh at this pain?”
“She’s just like her dad, look at her go. A pro.” You snort, rolling your eyes and shaking your head as Reign aggressively punches your breasts for more milk.
“I wouldn’t know, I don’t think you did that.” You murmur thoughtfully, pushing back flashes of the night while she suckles.
“That’s a tragedy.” You look down shyly, lashes casting shadows on your cheeks, while you feed his daughter, his daughter, it’s still not comprehending, it’s still taking him a lot to conceive it’s real. “Look at her face, oh my god!”
Your heart warms as he leans over, and Reign has stopped drinking, a goofy smile on her face. “She’s milk drunk.”
“What now? She looks high as fuck.” You hold in your laughter so you don’t wake her now, her eyes are shut and she’s still sucking on nothing.
“She does look stoned, it always cracks me up. Do you wanna put her to bed? I’ll show you where she sleeps.”
He nods and takes her again, watching your nipple with just a droplet of milk on it, he swipes it away before he can think better, making you shoot your eyes to him, lips parted. You hastily put the bra back up as a blush pinkens Satoru’s cheeks, slipping down your top, his touch on your sensitive nipples almost ended you just now. The desire for him in every way is almost insane.
You show him to the only room in your little place, it’s got a crib and a bassinet, and a tiny little bed that he assumes you must sleep in. You start wrapping her up in the new pink blanket then, swaddling her so tight, he watches in wonder at it, as you bundle her up.
“She’ll like a little burrito.” You snort in laughter, trying to keep quiet and covering your mouth then, looking up at Satoru in amusement.
“She kind of is? Babies like to be swaddled, they feel comfy.”
“You know so much… Have you had any experience before?” You both watch as she settles now.
“No, I learned all this from lots of books and bugging the shit out of my mother. Though she even thought I was crazy to have her. But something…” You trail off then, shaking your head. “Sorry.”
“No, please go on. Something?”
“Something told me I was meant to have her, it sounds crazy. But… I knew I could do it, even if it’s a lot.”
Satoru’s hand comes to rest on the small of your back, as you turn your head to look back up at him, seeing the emotions written all over his perfect face. “You’re doing great.”
You break down then at that, sobbing against his chest as he holds you, soothing rubs on your back. “I needed that, shit I’m sorry.”
“Shh, it’s okay.” You stay like that for a moment, letting him hold you against his chest, your face buried against his shirt, tears spilling freely while you take several breaths. “You’re a great mom, I can already see.”
“Shit…” You pull yourself together, taking several breaths and leaning back then, Satoru’s cupping your face and it takes everything not to kiss him, this man who you still barely know. “I really appreciate that. It’s been hard so far, but I love her so much, it's impossible how deeply.”
“I can feel it already. You, missy, need that break.”
“I couldn’t…”
“I want to be involved, I want to care for her, and that means her mom too. Yeah?” You shake your head, earning his little glare. “Stubborn little brat.”
“Excuse me!?” You glare right back, and he grins.
“You are one!”
“Me a brat?” Your eyes narrow as you cross your arms.
“Mmhmm.” Satoru tilts your chin up, your head falls back then, and he imagines entwining his fingers in it, imagining kissing you just like that night. He leans even closer and you pull back, clearing your throat.
“We should step out so we don’t wake her.” You murmur, when you’re back in the living room you’re carefully folding all the clothes he’s bought. “Oh, I promised lunch! You up for stir fry?”
“I’m up for anything you wanna make, after eating those cookies.” You set to work, and soon the two of you are eating lunch together, Satoru moans as he devours the food. “My god you’re a good cook.”
“Thank you, I love to cook.” You nibble on your rice thoughtfully. “Ugh, I’m gonna hate leaving her to work.”
Satoru scowls now. “Huh?”
“Maternity leave is over in two weeks. I’m just going to work part time though, so I’ll still see her plenty. Maybe I’ll bring her to work?”
“Where do you work?”
“A library, I’m very exciting.” Satoru grins now.
“You look like a little librarian.”
“What’s that mean?”
“Goodie goodie, despite the bathroom…” You both quiet then, as his mind whirls, and yours spins, remembering.
“S-Satoru!” You’d cried out as his fingers had pumped in and out of your tight little entrance, soaking his fingers as he kissed down your neck, you watched your reflection in the mirror as he pressed you against the sink, free hand gripping you right under your chin.
“Fuck, look at you? So sexy…” He murmurs, the club's music pounding like your heart in your chest. He has a big hand muffling your cries as you soak his hands, dripping all over him. “Hear her?”
His murmur against your ear makes you tremble, shivers sending down your spine as he builds that pressure inside you. You nod, drooling against his palm, when he is hitting that spot that has your eyes rolling back, pressing on it over and over with his long, thick fingers. You’re screaming into his hand, ass arching against him.
“That’s it, pretty, cum f’me huh?”
You both get quiet then, you see it clear as day, your face in that mirror as he’d filled you, and he remembers sucking your juices off his fingers, god it’s been almost a year and he can’t get your taste off his mind. He’d been with a few women here and there since he didn’t think he’d see you again, but they were nothing like it, nothing like you.
How your body responded, every little muffled cry, he remembers dying to get you fully naked, planning it all out when he would call you. He wanted you to not even leave his bed, he’d fully taste you, make you cum with his mouth. He’d get to look into your eyes as he filled you so good, have your legs up over his shoulders while he pumped inside.
It’s like electricity in your quiet little home, the two of you sitting in a daze, your breath comes quicker when he leans across the table, brushing your cheek with his fingers, feeling the heat on them. “Warm?” He teases.
“Um, a little.” You stand then, taking his plate and smiling, acting as normal as you can. “All done?”
“Yeah, thank you.” He watches you wash them then, he can’t even fathom not having a dishwasher, but you’re there with your pretty hands and that sponge. He doesn’t want you to work, he doesn’t want you even doing this, you should just enjoy the baby.
But with how stubborn you are, how independent? He doesn’t know if you’ll even take his offer when he makes it.
“How about you come to my place with the little Dumpling this weekend? Maybe… stay a night? I’ll have her something set up.”
“Stay the night?” You nearly break the dish you’re drying, Satoru catches it, suddenly next to you. “Who are you, Edward Cullen?”
“Pshh, I look like a glittery fucking vampire?”
“A bit.” You’re both laughing softly then, he dries the plates and you show him where to put them up. “It’s nice having a giant around.”
“Almost whacked my head on your ceiling fans.”
“The hardships of being stupidly tall, hmm?”
“Hmm.” He leans against the counter now, snowy lashes lowering as he studies you intently, those eyes that just do something to you, even after this long. It feels like you’ve known him, when one of his hands delicately brushes down your shoulder, feeling the soft knit of your cardigan. “You dress like a little librarian.”
“Do I now? Not that night.”
His nostrils flare just a bit. “Not that night.”
Satoru had you lifted on that sink, sinking inside you for the first time, damn near whimpering in your ear as he kissed on your breasts, trying to yank them out as much as he could but failing. “Slutty little dress.”
“S-slutty? You’re… slutty!” You’re clinging to him as he stuffs you so full, too fucking full, your cunt is drooling down his veiny length as he fucks into you, your thighs pressing against his narrow hips.
“Both are, listen to her… ha…” He’s got one hand cupping your face, looking at you before he slams his lips down, tongues dancing while his cock keeps thrusting, tip dragging your spot, as you fall apart in the bathroom, a tangle of limbs intermingling with muffled cries. “F-fuck…”
“That dress still does things to my mind.” He admits, and you wonder then, how’d you both get so close? How were you nearly flush against him?
“Does it now?” Your attempt at a tease meets with a broken voice, and you clear your throat, looking down shyly. “I don’t think my ass would fit in it now, your baby girl gave me some hips.”
“I bet they’re sexy.”
“She gave me stretch marks too.”
“Sexy.”
“You’re ridiculous.” You shake your head then, brushing a hand up his chest, wondering just what his body looks like. He's clearly built, you can tell he's muscular, but you have to wonder just how he looks. “You… don’t date anyone?”
“Nah. I mean I have had some dates this year, but nothing serious.” He couldn’t say it’s because of you, because he compares women to this random girl he felt such a pull to, and now it’s a million times worse. Even picturing cute little stretch marks from having his baby makes Satoru feral, it takes a lot not to show you, to act cool and calm with a little smirk.
“I haven’t at all. I mean… I’m so busy with Reign, and the pregnancy.”
“Been a while then?” His words are full of suggestion, his hand now brushes the air across your waist, hovering, like he wants to pull you in, and you’d let him, when Reign starts crying. You both step apart, his hands in his pockets, yours nervously fidgeting with your sweater.
“I’ll go get her.” You come back with her now, and Satoru lights up at seeing her in your arms, bending down to kiss her downy soft hair, sighing.
“Why does she smell so good?”
“Baby smell. I know, it’s addictive.” You inhale her scent, smiling as you are once again a centimeter from Satoru’s lips, your gaze goes to them, glossy and plump.
“Will you come this weekend?”
“Y-yeah, I’ll be there Satoru.”
“I am going to learn things, I promise.”
“Satoru, just take it one day at a time. You’re doing great.” He nods then, gulping down his every emotion as he leaves you two, and it feels so awful and wrong to leave you both, every force in the world pulling him back.
“How’d it go, Mr. Gojo?” Kiyotaka asks, as he’s driving him back home.
“Amazing. They're so beautiful.”
“They?”
“I mean…” You both are. “Kiyotaka, do you know shit about babies?” The man smiles tiredly then, shaking his head.
“No, Mr. Gojo, but I see you’re so… happy?”
Satoru has a silly grin then. “I am, I want to set something up for them, think you can order more baby things? For my place?”
“Certainly, Sir.” He smiles as he watches Satoru in the rearview mirror, he never would have pictured something like this, but it’s clear Satoru is beaming.
*****
“Come in, come in!” You pause in awe as you carry Reign inside Satoru’s insanely beautiful home. It's probably ten of your place if not more, sleek and elegant, everything brand new and sparkling clean. He’s instantly taking Reign, who is babbling at him as he cradles her, melting you completely before you even take a step.
“Your place is beautiful.” You murmur, he smiles at you then, taking your diaper bag off your arm and leading you inside.
“Thank you for coming, I missed her already!? Yes I did, dumpling!” He plants kisses all over her face now, Satoru Gojo holding your baby just did things to your heart, rewired your brain, seeing them both light up.
“She missed you too.” You murmur softly, Satoru looks at you then, white teeth glinting under the soft lights, taking in your pretty dress.
“Mama looks pretty.” He whispers, loud on purpose clearly, you’re a blushing mess, when Satoru’s blue eyes sweep over you.
“You’re too much.” You say, but you’re lowkey falling bad, you’d talked with him so much these past few days, as he asked endless questions, but also as you two got to know each other. You’d fallen asleep on the phone last night, Satoru had listened to your light little snore, smiling and falling asleep with you.
It seems too easy, which terrifies you, but so far it’s been Satoru being excited to be a dad, so you keep trying to remind yourself that is what this was, but it’s hard when he looks at you that way. “Too much? You haven’t seen shit. Come on.”
“Oh god.” You follow him now, as he leads you through a wide open hall, winking at you.
“Ya ready?”
“I think so?” He opens the door and it takes your breath for a moment, it’s a fully done nursery with everything a baby could need and more. There’s a pretty crib, a bassinet, a rocking chair even, it’s painted a baby pink with little teddy bears lining the ceiling. 
“I know, I went overboard, I don’t know how to not go overboard when I do things? And I want the best for her? I know you probably won’t be-”
“Satoru.”
“Hmm?”
You smile then, placing a hand over his where it rests on Reign’s lap. “It’s beautiful, it’s so beautiful.”
He exhales in relief then. “Yeah!?”
You’re giggling now. “Yeah.”
“Mommy likes it, yes!” His enthusiasm is infectious, it’s the first time you think you’ve truly been light hearted in so long, as he places her gently in the crib. “I had my mom go crazy and paid for it to get set up, really I did nothing but pay out.”
“It’s the most thoughtful thing in the world.” You hug him then on impulse, before pulling back shyly, your eyes meet each other, his hands on your waist. “But how will she go back to my shitty place? I hope she doesn’t get bougie.”
“I want her bougie.” You laugh again softly, she’s playing with the little ovehanging baby mobile, she’s enamored by the hanging stars. You watch him lean over the crib then. “She’s a princess, you know.”
You can’t take it then, you have to step out, shaking now, struggling to catch your breath, when Satoru steps out with you, looking at you with concern. Your feelings of him are utterly overwhelming, the beauty of Satoru fawning over his little girl puts these thoughts in your mind, of being a real family. As someone who didn’t have a father, and didn’t think Reign would, the hope filling you is so much.
“I got too excited.” He nervously admits, leaning against the wall next to you and rubbing the back of his neck. “I want her to have everything, if my mom didn’t talk me out of it she’d already have a pony.” You snort then, even through your tears. “There, a little laugh.”
“It’s not you, this is amazing, it’s just… I planned my life, I planned it all out with her, alone. And now… we won’t be? I don’t know how to process it, how to really believe it. But I’m so happy she’ll have it.”
“C’mere.” He pulls you against him into a big hug, arms wrapped around you tightly, bringing you against his chest. “I didn’t think I’d have this, a baby girl? I know what you mean, it’s not what I pictured.”
“Exactly. And… maybe I enjoy this too much.” You look up at him now, his lips quirked up at the side.
“Me too much?” He raises a brow.
“Maybe.”
“Hmm.” Satoru leans down close, when the doorbell rings, he exhales then, laughing softly, pressing a kiss on your forehead. “So I may have invited my mom. Is that okay?”
“Of course it is.” You are trying to calm your nerves when you meet her, long silky white hair and bright blue eyes. It's clear those genetics are strong, she surprises you by wrapping you in a hug.
“Where’s this grandbaby of mine?”
Soon she’s melting over Reign like the two of you have been, and Satoru’s made you both hot cocoa, family isn’t something you’ve really had, and to feel this comfortable and good? It’s almost like some dream, as you all are so cozy inside, and Reign is just getting fawned over, giving you a little bit of a reprieve until she’s hungry.
“I have a bottle, do you wanna feed her, Satoru?”
“I can do that?” You smile at him, nodding, and soon he’s got a bottle in her mouth, you position his arm just so as his mom watches you both with a knowing smile on her face.
“You know, I could always babysit sometime. For you two… to go out.” You both blush now, looking up at her.
“Go out?” You almost squeak the words out, sipping your cocoa now that it's gone just a little cold, enamored with watching Satoru.
“Yes, go out. Parents need time away.”
“We’re not… um…”
“I’d take you out.” Satoru says softly, and you feel those butterflies in your tummy going wild.
“Yeah?” You manage to ask, failing at being subtle.
“Yeah.” He smirks a bit, then Reign coughs. “What’s wrong!?”
“She needs to burp, calm down.” You lift her against your chest, patting her back now. “This is what you’ll do, it’s just some air in her tummy.”
“Oh thank god.”
“You three are precious.” His mom checks her phone then. “I have a meeting, but I hope to see much more of you both.”
“Me too Mrs. Gojo!” She smiles, planting a kiss on Reign’s head then yours before she leaves. “She’s amazing!?”
“I know, right? She was dying to meet her.” His hand rubs Reign’s little back, so big it’s as long as her almost, his other arm resting over the couch, brushing against you when he leans closer. “Thank you for having her.”
“Oh, Satoru… I just wish…”
“Yeah, me too.” He inhales and exhales, his eyes swimming with emotions. “I wish badly. I hate that I missed her coming into the world.”
“I’m so sorry… but I swear, she’ll not remember that, she won’t remember it at all.”
“But you remember.”
“Satoru, it's not your fault, don’t dare blame yourself.” He sighs now, his hand dropping off Reign to rest on your thigh over the thin black tights you wore.
“I don’t want you working yet. Will you let me help?”
“Satoru…” You shake your head. “You are not going to pay my bills.”
“Then stay with me? Stay the year with your baby… with our baby, please. She should have her mom home.”
“It’s too much of an offer, I can’t just live here! We aren’t even…”
“If you hate it I’ll get you your own place. I promise. Just let me take care of you… of both of you?” You stand, turning away, Satoru’s hands grip the sides of your arms as he leans close. “Please think about it.”
“I’m not a charity case, Satoru. I’m okay where I am.”
“I know that, okay? But I missed all of the pregnancy, I didn’t get to help with any medical bills, anything. Please just…” He turns your chin to face him, his glossy lips ever tempting as they hover just above yours. “Please think about it.”
“It’s overwhelming, okay?” He nods then, you lean back just so, feeling his lithe body against your back, leaning back just so.
“You’re not alone anymore.”
“Satoru…” He wraps his arm around you, resting his chin on your head. “You don’t have to do all this.”
“I want to.” For you and Reign, but Satoru can tell your pride is getting in the way, and he can tell you’re conflicted. “Give it time, no rush, yeah?”
*****
After a few weeks of constantly being at Satoru’s house, you damn near almost live there. You come over at about the same time Satoru’s off work, and he learns more and more about Reign every single day. He’s learned how to change diapers, how to feed her, and learns what certain cries mean. Reign rolls over for the first time on her mat and you’ve never seen anyone more excited than Satoru.
He takes selfies with her and they are Insta famous, he has Reign’s name painted on the nursery door, though she tends to still sleep in the room you stay in, with her little bassinet. Satoru’s had you in the guest room, but what you don’t know is at night he checks on you both, he kisses Reign’s forehead and tucks you in, he watches how cute the both of you are.
He watches you with Reign, ever attentive, and it’s about the time you’d have to go back to work, he can feel how devastated you are thinking of it, when you all are quietly sitting in the living room, having nibbled on takeout as Reign sleeps. You take a breath then, looking at the man you’re falling deeper for every day, every moment you spend with him.
“Satoru…”
“Yeah, sweets?” His little nickname always does something to you.
“I would love to stay with you, to stay home with her for a few more months, if you’re sure it’s still okay?”
Satoru jumps up then, picking you up and spinning you, you’re laughing breathlessly as he eases you down, and you’re flush against his body. Despite the endless times you’ve ached to kiss him, to do so much more, you both have been a little apprehensive, you both don’t know what’s okay, what’s not. You both feel far, far too much and are afraid of it.
“You’ll stay!?”
“I’ll stay. But I’ll cook, and help pick up, and-”
“Shh. Just stay.” He’s cupping your face, he’s so close you can almost taste his sweet breath, your lashes lowering over your eyes now. “I want you with her, let me do that for you? And… I want you here. All the time I… miss you when you’re not.”
“Are you giving me puppy dog eyes!?” You demand with a grin, and he pouts his lips.
“Maybe. Is it working?”
“It’s working.” You don’t stop yourself, not this once, when you lean up on your tiptoes, pressing your lips to his, and when you do, the eclectic shocks shoot from his lips, it’s just like that night a year ago, but more intense. You pull back nervously, looking away. “I’m sorry, I…”
“No.” Is all he says, pulling you back, bending low and taking over your lips, he moves them gently over yours, big hands taking over your waist and dragging you closer, mouth opening, tongue slipping past the seam of your lips. Your mouth opens in a gasp, and then his tongue delves inside it. “Don’t apologize for kissing me.”
“Satoru…” He’s exhaling against your lips, kissing you again, soon your back is on the couch, and he’s moving over you, his hand trailing your waist, up to your breasts, your hands clinging to his shirt, gripping the smooth fabric as you fall apart from his kisses. They’re sweet, intense kisses, slow like he wants to savor every moment with you, growing more and more insistent.
He pulls up, just looking at you now, your thighs are around his hips, you feel that ache between them, not just physically either, you crave more and more of him, and you have been since you saw him again. You both just look at each other, speaking without words as he slips up your top, and you yank it nervously, earning his frown, stopping your hand.
“Not ready yet?” He asks, you shake your head.
“You won’t… I’m not… I don’t like my tummy anymore.” You admit softly, tears threatening to spill, Satoru lifts your shirt then, leaning down and running his thumb across the little stretch marks Reign left.
“Well, baby girl… I love your tummy. Should I show you?” You shake your head, breaths coming quicker and quicker now. “You had my baby, you carried her for me, and she left you more beautiful than before.”
“Oh, Satoru…” He kisses your tummy then, and desire shoots straight through you, your hands finally entwining in that silky hair you’ve craved to feel for so long, he’s looking at you under lidded eyes, pressing kisses lower.
“You’re beautiful everywhere. I bet it was sexy pregnant.”
You giggle just a bit, making Satoru smile against your skin, fingers tugging down your pants then, earning a little cry that makes his cock so hard it hurts. He’s been dying to taste you on his tongue, to feel you around his fingers, watch that pretty face in pleasure again, but he’s tried to take his time, tried to focus on Reign, but the thing is, he loves both of you.
He’s in love with you.
The way you move, the way you smile, the way you are with his baby? How your eyes brighten when Reign did something new, how you blushed when he gave you a compliment. But also, how your hips are shifting now, how your eyes are getting lidded, dilated with desire, and how the little silver lines run across where his baby was inside you.
“Satoru… that feels too good I… mmm!” You cry out quietly when his fingers find your slick heat, finding you drenched already.
“You this easy for me?” He asks, you want to retort, something witty, but you can’t, you just gasp out in pleasure when he’s got your pants off, and he’s parting your thighs, long fingers pressing in the plush of your skin as he stares at your pussy. “Fuck you’re pretty.”
You’re trembling as you’re fully bare in front of him, his breath on your clit alone makes you jerk, he places a teasing flick of his tongue right on your clit, you cover your mouth to hide the pathetic moan. He flicks his tongue again, thumps slipping the plump lips of your sex apart, watching the wetness pool out of your little hole, he catches it with his tongue, groaning as he tastes you.
Your hands clutch his hair so hard you’re tugging at his head, eyes rolling back in your skull, biting your lip hard not to make too much noise. He looks up at you, slinking his tongue all the way up your dripping pussy now, from your hole to your clit, groaning as you drip all over his mouth, his face.
“It tastes as good as I remember.” He whispers, enjoying that ruby red blush on your cheeks. “You’re so cute like this, sensitive?”
“You’re torturing me.” He chuckles, the hot air making you whimper, a sound that shoots desire through him. “Please…”
“Please what, pretty?” He casually licks you once more, leisurely as if he has all the time in the world, tilting his head just so to flick the underside of it, watching the tiny little clit twitch. “Use your words, sweetheart.”
“Make me cum, please.” He moans then, devouring your pussy, his movements less teasing and precise and sloppy, now, lapping up all the juices that pour as you cry out in pleasure, hips bucking up for more, then you feel his fingers sliding in and out of you now, pressing in deep, finding that spongy spot that makes you shiver.
“There you go, you’re clenching me s’good. Can’t wait to feel you around me.” He murmurs, curling his fingers just so,  your legs are shaking so hard, you’re falling off that edge, chest rising and falling with your breaths.
“M-gonna… Toru…” Satoru moans now, the sound vibrating against your heat, he looks at you then, eyes dilated and dark, leaning up, his chin coated in your slick, shimmering.
“Cum for me, baby.” At that he sucks your clit into his mouth, tongue swirling around it, humming and making you shatter under him.
You come so hard you see stars bursting, eyes rolled back, your mouth in the most slutty O as you gasp out, you’re arching off the couch, his name a quiet little broken scream in the quiet room. You feel his smug grin against your sensitive bud, as he nips at it then with his teeth, making you jerk and whimper, leaning back to study your clenching little hole.
“There you go, so good for me, hmm?” He coles those words, slipping up you now, sliding his finger up and down your drippy slit, kissing you, letting you taste yourself off him.
“Need you. All of you.” You murmur then, he pauses his kisses, looking down at you, and emotions surge and mix with the pleasure, the insane need for him to fill you, over and over again.
“If we do, I want more than just… co parenting. I want more than just sex. I want…” Satoru gulps then, cupping your face carefully, your hand comes to grip his wrist, thumb brushing over his strong, fluttering pulse.
“I want more too.” You admit, swallowing nervously, as one of your hands rests on his chest.
“I want you to be my girl.” You’re crying then, nodding eagerly at his sweet and pure words, when he’s kissing you again, salty tears mixing with your taste. “Will you be? My girl?”
“I would love to be yours.” He moans again, standing then, helping you up, your arms wrap around his neck as he carries you, your lips don’t separate when he backs into his bedroom.
“Want you in my bed, every night.” He whispers, easing you onto the floor to stand, slipping your top off and revealing your breasts which sway just a bit, you eagerly unbutton his shirt, showing every inch of his chiseled, perfect frame. You gasp when you finally see him, fingertips trailing across sculpted muscles.
“You’re perfect, Satoru.” You whisper in wonder, and he cups your face again, kissing you deeply, a kiss so beautiful it ruins you forever, Satoru has ruined you forever, you know now what you knew that night deep down. “It’s only you.”
“It’s only you. You’re perfect.” You gasp as he picks you up again, laying you on the bed, you’re eagerly tugging on his pants, gasping when you see his huge, veiny length, something you’d had inside of you bud hadn’t even seen. You stroke him, earning his soft whine, he pins your wrist above your head.
“Lemme touch him, please?” You beg, earning both your hands pinned, as you laugh breathlessly.
“No way, I’m not busting quick, I’ve waited too long for this.” You giggle, earning his pretty glare. “I’m not.”
“You didn’t bust quick that night?”
“Yeah, I did.” You shake your head at him, gasping when he’s pressing against your entrance, he tenses, muscles flexing, when suddenly you both hear it, Reign on the baby monitor. “Shit.”
“Shit…” You both stay completely silent. “Maybe she’ll stop?”
“I sure hope so. Need to get you pregnant again.”
You blink in shock now, as Reign quiets. “Huh!?”
Satoru grins, a devious fucking grin, as he presses your legs apart, one over his shoulder, sinking in as you bite your lip, so filled by him, trembling beneath him as you roll your hips. “I need to see you pregnant, gonna be so fucking sexy.”
“You’re insane, Satoru Gojo.” You gasp when he shoves his length fully inside you, bottoming out and you’re so full you can’t breathe, clinging to his bare shoulders desperately as he moans, feeling your walls flutter.
“You didn’t know that yet? I’ll have to show you, sweetheart.” He’s fucking you then so good, thrusting in and out of your slick cunt, which is drooling all the way down his veiny length. He’s smirking as he rolls his hips just so, watching you start to come apart. “You love it, huh? Cock filling you so deep?”
“Please…” His leaking tip kisses your cervix, you shudder under him, cumming so hard you can’t tether yourself anymore, and he revels in it, in your pretty face all scrunched up, all reddened as you cry out.
“That’s it, can’t help yourself? Want me to fucking fill you?”
“Please…”
“You’re such a good girl, hmm?” The words short circuit what’s left of your brain, as Satoru leans back on his knees, hands slipping up your body, gripping your breasts, which have little droplets of milk. You whimper, trying to cover them. “Ah-ah.”
He leans forward, sucking them then, you’re so sensitive you scream, thanking everything Satoru has a huge home and that the baby couldn’t hear anything, because the sounds he writhes out of you are filthy. He leans up, licking the little droplets off and grinning again, possessively gripping your throat, hovering over you as his cock slides in again.
“God, even that’s sweet. All of you. Sweet and slutty.” He huffs, you’re kissing him desperately, nails pressing against his scalp as they grip his hair. “My girl, you’re all mine now, hmm?”
“Wanna be… y-your girl.” You whisper, ending him as your cunt gushes down on him, as he feels the tight muscles grip him like a vise, he eases back, shoving your legs up then in a mating press, every instinct making him crave to make you his again. Cum in you, fill you, make you pregnant. “Toru… I haven’t… not a lot of… exper-ah!”
“That’s alright baby, I’ll fuck you so good, all you gotta do is take it, yeah? Look so fucking pretty f’me.” The sweet, emotional and cute Satoru is now feral, psychotic and possessive, his eyes so blue they hurt to look at, but you’re nodding eagerly. You’ve never been fucked like this, not even close, but he assures you, over and over that you can take him. “That’s right, gonna take all of me.”
Your thighs are smushed against your breasts as Satoru fucks you harder, perfect strokes that hit every spot, spots you can’t even figure out, the ridge of his cock hitting again and again until you’re close, already having cum twice. You’re sobbing under him as he leans his weight on your thighs, folding you in half and going deeper, deeper, bottoming out.
His balls slap heavy on your ass, so full and ready to pump his load in your eager hole, you’re a mess, tears on your cheeks, mumbling incoherently, pussy drooling and loosening more and more. You take him, all of him greedily then, as he slows just a bit, leaning up to press your thighs even higher, watching his cock disappear as your cunt sucks him in.
“Oh look, she’s taking me s’good, she wants it huh? You want it, greedy, slutty pussy.” He’s talking to your pussy, but you also can’t care, not when you’re so close, incoherently whining. “Can’t talk, sweetheart?”
“Gonna… cum… again… Satoru!” He moans as you speak his name, using a forearm to press your legs up, angling his cock just so, shoving deep as he presses a thumb to your clit, ending you utterly.
“There you go, cum on lemme fuckin feel her milk me.” He huffs, husky voice hoarse as your orgasm washes over you, full body, you’re shaking and sobbing as your arousal pours down him, making him tense, gasping. “Oh fuck…”
“Cum in me. Cum in me, please.” You beg weakly, and Satoru does then, full mating press, pumping all his cum so deep, filling you to the brim as he leans down, whimpering with you, tongues sloppy as you kiss.
“Feel s’perfect… gonna make you a mommy again, yeah?” You nod weakly, cunt throbbing as he pumps more and more, nails pressing into his back as you both ride your orgasms out, until you’re sensitive messes. “F-fucking… b-baby…”
“Satoru, g-god…” He is exhaling, easing your sore thighs down then, pulling out and watching the mess that pours from your pussy, a mix of his cum and yours, he grins at it.
“You’re so messy, hmm?” He shoves two fingers in your cunt, pushing his cum back in as you scream out. “Aww, you can’t take it baby?”
“Too much, ngh!” Satoru slips his fingers out, sucking on them and moaning, before repeating it, shoving them in your mouth, you moan as you suck them greedily, both kissing again, a tangled mess of limbs.
“Taste us together, god.”
“So yummy.” He kisses you again, again, again, as you struggle to come back down, heart still racing. “My god…”
“Yeah, holy fuck.”
“You’re like… you have a breed kink like bad.” He snorts then, kissing up the side of your neck.
“Could it have to do with the fact that my girl is gorgeous with my baby? And I’d love to really see her pregnant?”
“I want you there too. I do, even if this is insane.”
“Is it?”
“Yes, first we have a baby, then we move in together? What next, a first date?”
“You know… yes. Mom offered?”
You giggle at him. “So is this you asking me on a date!?”
“Mmhmm, with my cum pouring out. Wasting it, tsk tsk.” He starts kissing down your body again, when Reign cries, this time loudly. “Ugh.”
“Ugh.” You agree, brushing back his hair when he kisses your tummy. “You make me feel beautiful, Satoru.”
“You are.” He says simply, kissing you deeply, helping you up. “Most beautiful girls there are.”
“I…” You almost say it, but you’re still so afraid, those words on the tip of your tongue. Satoru smiles as if he knows.
“Go check on her.”
“Yeah.” You are soon all dressed, and Reign is no longer crying once she gets swaddled, her binky in her mouth. Satoru comes behind you, arms wrapping you tightly and pulling you against him.
“So, that date?”
“Mmm, got plans already?” You look back at him, as he holds you so sweetly in the quiet room.
“Yeah, the spa you never went to, brat.”
“Oh! Yes, let’s.”
*****
Satoru Gojo and you have had a baby, then moved in, and then you had your first date, which was both of you getting pampered, you were giggling when Satoru kept eating the cucumbers meant for his eyes, when he moved the masseuse because he got jealous of him. “My girl, I’ll rub your back.”
“So jealous.” You tease, but you then sigh in pleasure as his big hands rub your body just so.
“Maybe I am. Maybe I don’t ever wanna lose my girls.” You pause then, leaning up, breasts revealed as you’re just wearing a little towel. But Satoru’s eyes are serious, when he gently rubs his hands down to the back of your hips.
“You’re not losing us.” He’s kissing you, leaning over you in the spa, when he whispers in your ear.
“Let’s go.”
In the backseat of Satoru’s driver’s car, headed back home, you and Satoru devour each other, his hands on your rib cage, his lips on your nipples. Your head falling back, arching up for more, never, ever able to get enough. He’s filling you again, and you’re soaking him again, he’s fucking up into you one moment, one moment you’re controlling it.
A push and pull, a back and forth, endless kisses, until he’s filled you up again, whispering the lewdest things, picturing you as his wife, picturing you pregnant again, but the words are coming out as muffled, dirty words that don’t match. And you feel the same, you think the same, but you’re too fucked out to speak, too lost in everything that is Satoru Gojo.
That night, Reign is up and down, and you’ve just given her a bath, singing to her and cradling her. Satoru watches you, emotions catching in his throat, as a sliver of moonlight darts through the windows, illuminating the faces of the two girls he adores. Reign is being fussy, huffing, but then she hears you sing, and she’s calming, drifting off just so.
You catch him watching you, smiling at him, laying her back down gently. Satoru leans over, brushing a thumb across her cheek, as she sleeps so peacefully. “I love you, dumpling.” He murmurs to her, your heart aches at his words, as you repeat them softly to her, and Satoru wraps an arm around you.
“I love both of you.” You look at him then, so nervous, but he exhales, kissing you softly, feeling tears fall from his eyes, pulling back to see you’re trembling. “I know it’s a lot, but you have to know that I love you. I love both of you so much it hurts.”
“I love both of you.” Your heart hammers in your chest, as a hand slips up your back, and he leans down, blue eyes swirling with tears. “I’ll take care of you both, always. I… I’m complete now, with you both. I can’t ever lose you.”
“Satoru, never. I never want to be without you again.” Your hushed whispers are followed by sweet kisses, until you both close the door quietly, and Satoru has you picked up in his arms, effortless as you hold onto him, resting your foreheads against each other. “I’m home, here.”
“You are home, here. Want you to have my last name, both of you. Please.” You nod, sniffling as he carries you, kissing you desperately, pressing you against the door of his room once you’re back inside. “Need you to have my last fuckin’ name.”
“We will, Satoru. We’ll all be Gojos, hmm?” He grins so big then, easing you down and turning you, vivid memories of that night filling your mind, overwhelming your senses. Your head falls back as he kisses down your neck, slipping your shorts to the side to find you.
“So ready f’me?” You nod weakly. “Good, need to have a whole fucking clan of Gojos, yeah? Gonna give it to me?”
“Mnh, yes.”
You would give Satoru anything, and finally every piece that seemed so out of sorts is in place, as you found something you didn’t know was missing, and he found a family he didn’t know he had. As he eagerly works you so well that night again, you also know you want to give him more.
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read on ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/62133598
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foxy-eva · 3 months ago
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Warm Embrace
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Summary: Spencer and his wife explore ways to be intimate with each other after a traumatic event
Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader 
Category: Hurt/Comfort, Smut
Please read the CW, this story contains potentially triggering topics! 
Content Warnings: (18+, minors DNI) referenced past SA of Reader (non-graphic), implied flashbacks, trauma related sexual problems, conversations about sex and intimacy, nudity, kissing, mutual masturbation, handjob, thigh riding
Word count: 5.4k
Masterlist
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“Spencer?” Your voice echoed through the apartment when you stepped through the door and found no sign of your husband. 
A distant sound came from the bathroom. “In here!” 
After a quiet knock on the door and his confirmation that you could step in, you found Spencer sitting in the bathtub. The room was filled with the lavender scent of the bath soap and what you could see of his body was covered in bubbles. It almost looked comical how his knees stuck out of the water, making it obvious that the tub was not big enough to accommodate his long limbs. 
“I was too tired to take a shower,” he explained after discovering your curious expression. 
“I can see that,” you laughed. “I thought you hated taking baths.”
“Honestly, I think I’m starting to understand why you like them so much. This isn't too bad.”
You stood there for a few moments, smiling at the sight in front of you. Then, as if it was the most natural thing in the world, you slowly began shedding your clothes. 
“Mind if I join you?” you wondered. 
Nothing about this situation would be unusual for any other married couple. Just a few months ago neither of you would have questioned your actions. Back then initiating any form of intimacy with each other felt natural and familiar. 
Things were different now, though. 
Spencer cleared his throat and shifted his position. “Are you sure about this?”
There was a reason to ask. For the past months any attempt to get close to each other resulted in you crying for the rest of the night. Something as simple as him placing his hand on your thigh was enough to startle you. 
A sigh rolled over your lips as you dropped your shirt to the floor. “No,” you confessed. “But I miss you.”
“I’m right here,” he reminded you.
That was not what you meant and he knew that. Of course he understood the meaning of your words. Spencer was well aware of the fact that ever since that son of a bitch hurt you, you fought a constant battle between wanting his nearness and pushing him away. 
Your husband gave you the space you needed and was there to hold you whenever you’d let him. It couldn't have been easy for him either but he never once complained about this new reality you had a live. 
A reality where that person took something from you that you’d never get back. It was hard to shake this feeling of being tainted after having your physical integrity stripped away like that. You were distant and closed off when it came to intimacy, despite your best efforts to get back to what once was normal. It had been months since Spencer even saw you unclothed.
That was about to change. 
Slowly, you pulled down your pants before reaching back to undo your bra. Spencer's sight followed the piece of clothing as it dropped to the floor before settling on your face again. 
“Stop profiling me,” you warned him with a playful undertone in your voice. 
“Sorry, I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
By pulling down your panties, you shed your last piece of clothing, leaving you completely bare in front of your husband. It was a strange feeling to reveal yourself to him. It felt new yet familiar to allow him to see you. 
However, he didn't dare to look, even when you approached the tub. It wasn't clear whether he just tried to be respectful or if seeing you like this for the first time after months was too much for him to bear. His reaction reminded you that he never answered your question about you joining him. Maybe he was the one who wasn’t okay with this. 
Spencer’s eyes widened as he noticed the change of your mood before you did. Within a split second your heart started pounding and you stepped back to reach for your bathrobe. 
“Sorry, this was a stupid idea,” you muttered as you turned around to shield your body from his sight and your heart from the rejection. 
“My love,” he cooed from behind you.
The sound of splashing water gave away that he was exiting the tub. From the corner of your eyes you saw how he reached for his own robe. 
You felt his presence behind you. “Can I touch you?”
You nodded as you turned around, finding him wrapped in his robe with water still dripping from his jawline. Spencer reached out his hands to pull you into his arms. 
“What just happened?” He wondered, his voice laced with concern. 
Before you could think about it, you mumbled, “You didn't want to look at me.”
Your husband thought about your words for a moment, replaying the scene that had just unfolded in his mind. What you said wasn’t true. He wanted to look at you, to admire you fully like he had done countless times before. 
“I was afraid it would make you uncomfortable,” he confessed as he pulled back to be able to find your eyes. 
It was hard to read your expression which was not surprising considering you were mostly confused about your current state yourself.
“I miss the way you used to look at my body. I miss being close to you,” you whispered and paused for a moment. “I miss… sex.”
He closed his eyes before placing an innocent kiss on your forehead. “I know,” he breathed. Me too, he thought.
“Do you still think about it?” You wanted to know. 
“Sex?” 
Nodding, you watched his facial features intently. Ever since your attack, there were many occasions when the two of you had tiptoed around this subject. But never before had you been so blunt about it. 
It seemed like he was looking for the right words. “Yes, I do,” was what he settled on.
Raising your eyebrows, you asked, “With me?” 
The insecurity in your question wasn’t lost on Spencer but he still couldn't hold back a breathy laugh. “Of course, silly girl. You're my wife.”
“It’s just been so long that I would understand if you ever thought about doing it with someone else.”
“Stop that right now,” he said with a firm yet loving tone. “I would never cheat on you.” 
A shaky breath escaped your throat before you dared to say what had been bugging you for weeks now. “What if I’ll never be ready? What if things won’t ever be like before?” 
“That would be okay, too,” he reassured you. “There are many ways to create nearness and intimacy. Sex is just one way but it’s not necessary. At least for me it’s not.” 
“So you’d be okay to live without sex?” 
“Before I met you I thought that was my only option,” he quipped. 
You knew there had been a handful of women before you but you appreciated his joke nonetheless. It made you smile. 
Spencer let his fingertips brush over your cheeks. “But to answer your question, yes, I would be okay with that.”
His words were genuine. The way he looked at you with the most loving expression made your heart jump. The amber of his irises radiated a warmth you could get drunk on. You nestled your head against his chest and he held you even closer against his body. He was right. Sex wasn’t necessary to create nearness. However, you were still curious about what else you felt safe enough to try. 
“I want to get into the bathtub with you,” you whispered. “And I want you to look at me.” 
Loosening the embrace, you looked at your husband. With a nod he confirmed that he wanted that, too. 
With shaking fingers you brushed over his robe before gripping the material. “And I want to see you, too.”
Together you helped each other out of your robes until you stood bare in front of each other. You took a moment to admire the man in front of you. It had been a while since you had seen him like that. Unlike you he didn't deliberately hide his body from your sight but there hadn’t been many occasions in the past few months that allowed you to see him unclothed. 
His body looked familiar yet different at the same time. His tummy was a little bit softer than you remembered and you imagined what it would feel like underneath your palm. 
Spencer dared to let his eyes drop down to take in every inch of skin within sight. The way he looked at you made your skin tingle and you noticed how it broke out in goosebumps. 
“You're so beautiful,” he purred as he tentatively brushed over your arms. 
Tilting your head, you placed a soft kiss on his lips before breathing against them, “So are you.”
He took your hand in his to walk you over to the bathtub. Your husband got in first, bending his knees in an attempt to make himself smaller than he was. There was enough space to join him, a relieved sigh falling from your lips when you felt the warm water enveloping your body. 
First you sat a little awkwardly opposite one another for a few moments before you felt confident enough to get closer. Gently, you placed your hands on his knees to part them before moving closer to lean against his body sitting between his legs. Spencer’s heart pounded rapidly against his ribcage as you nestled against his chest. 
“Is that okay?” You wanted to make sure. 
“Yeah, I uh… I’m not sure where to put my hands,” he chuckled and you noticed how they hovered above the edge of the bathtub. 
Taking his hands in yours, you guided them towards the water, placing them underneath your chest. Even though you expected his touch, you still jerked when you felt his palms make contact with your body. 
Instinctively, your husband wanted to retract his hands again but you held them still with your own palms pressed against them. Once the initial shock faded, you were certain that you wanted to be held exactly like that. 
A part of you still wanted to fight this vulnerable situation but a much bigger, much more confident part longed to be close to the love of your life. 
It was as if Spencer sensed your ambiguity. “You okay?” 
“Yes,” you confirmed. Then you thought about the way your body flinched when he touched you. It had happened before each time Spencer had touched you in places that he had touched, too. “I just feel like my body has to relearn a couple of things.”
Spencer nodded before finally being able to relax a bit. He leaned back while holding you against him, relishing the sensation of having you close without any barriers between you. Just for a moment he forgot about what had happened to you and to your own surprise, so did you. 
For the following weeks you made it a new habit to take baths with each other. There was something so sweet about getting clean together, it became a sacred ritual you wanted to repeat over and over. 
Slowly but surely you got more comfortable around Spencer. There was a time when you didn't think it was possible that the two of you would cuddle every night and every morning without constantly having to fear that you’d freak out at any given moment. 
But just like that it happened. Spencer didn't have to think twice about hugging you from behind and leaving a feather-light kiss on your neck. He didn't hesitate to pull you into his arms when he woke up before you. 
He did however wake up in shock and almost jumped out of bed when one morning he realized he had sleepily pressed his erection against your thigh. Having woken up before him, you had noticed it, too. You could have easily moved away but found no reason to do so.
“I’m so sorry,” Spencer murmured as he moved away from you, his voice still sounding raspy from his slumber.
“You don’t have to apologize for that, Spencer. I know basic biology,” you snickered. “Now come back here.”
Hesitantly, he moved back towards your open arms. The warmth you radiated was too hard to resist so it took very little convincing for him to find his place inside your embrace again. 
Gentle fingertips danced along his arms, making him hum in contentment. It had always amazed you how his skin felt so particularly soft and tender in the morning. His curls hung unruly from his head and you couldn't resist intertwining your fingers with them. 
You thought back to the many times you had woken up like this. Back then when it still was normal for your hands to become curious enough to explore every curve and dip of each other’s bodies. 
It was odd to think about before. Sometimes it felt like a lifetime away, other times it felt like nothing had ever changed. It made you feel like the man who hurt you had the power to bring a new time reckoning upon you. You didn't want him to. 
It only spurred you further on to fully reclaim your body again. 
Your fingers found Spencer’s jaw to tilt his head just enough for you to be able to kiss him. His lips felt so soft as he slowly reciprocated your actions. It was sweet and innocent at first but your desire to feel more of him only grew the longer you kissed. Slightly shifting your leg you could feel his hardness again, making him whimper at the sudden pressure against it. 
As your hand found its way under his shirt, you brushed over the softness of his tummy. Shaking fingertips followed the trail of hair leading further down before changing their direction and moving upwards to feel his chest. The beating of his heart was faster than usual, almost erratic. 
With cautious motions he mirrored your eagerness and let his palm wander beneath your shirt as well. You deepened the kiss when you felt his fingers wander over your waist, leaving goosebumps on their path. Spencer became hungry, almost desperate as his tongue brushed over yours, melting into you in a way he hadn’t for too long. 
It was what you longed for too, what you had been hoping to finally be ready for. 
Then he touched your breast and it all came crashing down again. 
“Stop!” 
Healing really wasn’t linear. 
In an instant Spencer retracted his hand and leaned back to give you some space. Widened eyes looked back at him and it took both of you a second to realize what had just happened. Before he could apologize, you did. 
“I’m sorry… I really thought I was okay with that.”
For a moment Spencer closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Then he looked at you again, a soft expression on his face. “Please don’t ever feel the need to apologize for that,” he cooed. 
Unlike other times, you were able to calm down quickly. Instead of pushing your husband further away, you still yearned for his proximity. He seemed surprised when you moved closer to him again to lay your head down on his chest. Content to still have the privilege to hold you close, he wrapped his arms around you before a relieved sigh fell from his lips. 
There was no need to leave the comfort of your shared bed just yet, so you just lay there together, basking in each other’s warmth. 
Spencer placed a gentle kiss into your hair before breathing, “I love you.” 
“I love you more.”
You tried your best to be kind to yourself in that moment. It was a learning opportunity for you. Just a few weeks ago lying close to your husband like that was unthinkable. Even if they felt like baby steps at the time, it was still progress. 
The images of recent intimate encounters flooded your mind and let a pleasant calmness spread through your body. Spencer’s kisses tasted sweet and made you feel insatiable, always longing for more. Feeling his skin pressed against yours as he held you close in the bathtub enveloped you in a safe feeling unlike anything else. 
You thought back to those rare moments when you considered taking things further lately, just like you had tried just now. There was something you had wondered about. 
“I have noticed that when we cuddle…,” you began your sentence, unsure of how to continue. “Even when we’re naked in the bathtub together, you uhm… never get aroused? That was very different before.” 
Spencer cleared his throat. “Yeah,” he let out an awkward laugh. “I try really hard not to. I think about baseball a lot.” 
His response confused you. Propping yourself up on one elbow, you raised your eyebrows at him. “You think about baseball when we’re taking baths together? You don’t even like sports.” 
Spencer just shrugged and added, “Sometimes I try to solve equations, too.”
“Please don’t do that anymore,” you pleaded as you laid back down beside him. “It makes me feel good to see you’re still interested in me.” 
“Of course I am still interested. I just really do not want to make you uncomfortable or feel pressured in any way.”
Your words were genuine when you said, “I don’t think that will happen. I actually really liked seeing you in all of your morning glory earlier.”
Your husband smiled at you. “Yeah?”
A smirk formed on your face. “It reminded me of the countless times we were both late for work because we couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves after waking up.” 
“That was fun,” Spencer chuckled. “What wasn’t fun though was the conversation I had to have with Hotch after being late four days in a row.” 
His words made you laugh, too. Then, after a few moments of comfortable silence, your husband hesitantly asked, “Can I ask you something?” 
Tilting your head to find his eyes, you responded, “Of course.”
“You don’t have to answer this but I’m wondering… Do you ever get aroused in those moments, too?” 
You were used to talking openly about intimacy with your husband, that had always been a normal part of your relationship. His question didn't feel odd and you wanted to respond to it. 
For a long time after what happened, your longing to feel his nearness wasn’t connected to any sexual desires. At times you even felt like your libido had gotten lost entirely. Recently that had changed. 
More and more you had become aware of the little spark inside you that was ignited when you were with him. It was very different from the burning flame that was there before but your desire grew each time you were together. 
“Lately, yes,” you sincerely answered. Thinking about it some more, you decided to share another detail with him. “I even started uhm… touching myself again.”
Spencer seemed a little surprised by your response. “You did? That's good to hear.” His palm brushed gently over your arm when he added, “I can imagine that's a good way to feel a connection to your body and your needs.” 
For a second you thought he might start one of his ramblings to share all his knowledge about the health benefits of masturbating. He didn't, though. 
“Yeah, it feels nice. Almost normal,” you said instead. “I obviously still have a long way to go when it comes to sex but… I finally feel like I’ll actually get there, eventually.”
“There's no rush,” he reminded you. “We have all the time in the world.” 
Your lips met his in a tender kiss. “Thank you for being so patient with me.” 
After a few more moments of enjoying each other's company, it was time to get up and get ready for the workday. That night you found yourself tangled up in bed with your husband again. 
As you breathed in his scent and felt the heat radiating off his skin, you noticed it again – the little spark inside your chest flared up and spread a tingling sensation through your body. 
Your mouth found Spencer's neck to leave a trail of kisses along it, before it moved over his jawline and found his lips at last. He hummed when you kissed him and you could feel his fingertips twitching against your waist. 
It didn't take long until you deepened the kiss, a quiet moan slipping through your lips when Spencer’s tongue found yours. 
With your body pressed against his you didn't allow any distance between the two of you. It still wasn’t enough for you, though. There was too much fabric in the way of really feeling close to him. 
Your hand moved to the hem of his shirt to grip it and impatiently push it upwards. Spencer moved with you as you pulled it over his head. When your fingers moved to the waistband of his pajama pants next, he interrupted the kiss to find your eyes. 
A smile was painted over your face when you nodded, reassuring him that you were okay. You weren’t sure yet where exactly this was going but you felt safe enough to explore your options.
“We can stop or slow down at any point,” he reminded you.
“I know.”
After kissing him again, you sat up so you could continue undressing him. Slowly you pulled down his pants, an audible breath falling from your lips when you saw he was already half-hard. 
Spencer scanned your face for any sign of discomfort but found none. What he saw instead was excitement and curiosity. It made him smile. 
He sat up and brushed his hands over the fabric of your shirt. By lifting your arms over your head you gave him the sign he needed to remove the piece of fabric. He gently motioned for you to lay back down before he made contact with your hips, carefully brushing over your pajama shorts. 
There was no hesitation to be found when you lifted your hips for him to pull them down, without ever breaking eye contact. You thought about how different this situation was from being naked with him in the bathtub. Some parts of you remained hidden from him even then. 
You wanted him to see you, even when being exposed to him like that still felt a little scary.
After he had dropped the last piece of clothing on the floor, you dared to open your thighs for him to see every part of you. A rosy shade spread over his cheeks as he dared to look at you. It reminded you of when you were with him for the very first time many years ago. 
Just like then, he breathed, “You're so beautiful.” 
You could feel how some arousal had already gathered at your center and wondered if Spencer could see the glistening. By the way his pupils dilated you had a hunch that he did. 
Then, after he had fully taken in your beauty, it was as if he was frozen in place. He used to be so confident in situations like that, knowing your body better than his own and never questioning his next move. Things were very different now and you both sensed it. 
His eyes met yours and it became obvious how unsure he was of how to proceed. 
Opening your arms, you cooed, “Come here, love.” 
He seemed relieved when he lay back down beside you again. You wanted to kiss him but he hesitated. 
After a moment, he suggested, “I think it would be helpful if you talked to me more. I need you to tell me exactly what you want to do.”
“I’m figuring this out as we go, too,” you explained. “Right now I don't know where this is going. I only know that I really want to kiss you.”
His nose brushed against yours. “I would really like that, too.”
Just a split second later you got lost in another kiss. The way your bodies were pressed against one another while your lips were connected let you briefly forget where your body ended and his began. After shifting your position, you became well aware of that again. 
Spencer was fully hard now and his erection was firmly pressed against your thigh. You moved your leg slightly, prompting him to whimper into your mouth. The hand on your waist moved down to your hip and his fingertips pressed into your skin. 
“Hey,” you mumbled against his lips. “Can we slow down for a moment?” 
His grip on your hip lightened immediately before he moved his hand back up to your waist. Spencer placed one last peck on your mouth and pulled back. “Do you want to stop?” 
You shook your head. “No, I just need a little break. To make sure it doesn't get too much.” 
The truth was that you felt really good in that moment. Excited, loved and so, so turned on. It just felt safer to take things slowly. Gently you pushed against his shoulder until he was lying on his back. You found your home inside his arms. 
Your lips grazed over his cheek as you breathed, “How are you feeling, Spencer?” 
He chuckled at your question. “You have no idea how good I’m feeling right now.” 
As you let your head rest on his shoulder, you dared to look down at his body. The extent of his desire laid on his stomach and you noticed how a bead of precum had formed at his tip. Your fingers itched to touch him, to remember how hot and heavy his cock always felt inside your palm. 
A curious hand made its way down his chest, over the side of his stomach, brushing along his thigh. For a second you hesitated but then you let your palm hover over his hardness. 
Then you felt a pit form in your stomach and decided to retract your hand again. It might have just been your nervousness but that didn't change the fact that you couldn't continue in this moment. 
Your husband had watched each of your motions intently. It was obvious that he was burning to find relief. 
Tilting your head to find his eyes, you purred, “I want you to feel good.”
“It’s okay, my love. You don’t have to,” he reminded you.
You knew that, of course. There was still something else you could do together. 
As you began kissing his neck, his throat vibrated under your lips and a moan escaped his mouth. Then, you whispered into his ear, “I want you to touch yourself.”
Spencer’s eyes widened at your request and the rosy color on his cheeks turned a shade darker. It seemed like he needed a little more encouragement, so you lay back down inside his arm and opened your legs to give yourself access. 
“Okay, I’ll start,” you teased as you let your hand wander down your own body. 
Mesmerized by the sight, his eyes followed the path of your fingers. When you parted your folds to access your most sensitive spot, Spencer hissed a curse. 
The honeyed wetness between your legs made it easy for your fingertips to move through your folds. It felt relieving to touch yourself like that. Just like Spencer you were yearning for release. 
When your husband heard your heavy sighs as you pleasured yourself, he couldn't hold back anymore. You watched as his hand found his cock, a view that let your heart pound inside your chest. 
First, he wrapped his fingers around his shaft and squeezed, prompting droplets of his arousal to run down his tip. Then, he swiped his thumb over the leaking head before he slowly began moving up and down. Your mouth hung open as you watched that sinful scene unfold in front of you. 
As Spencer accelerated the pace of his fist, sounds of pleasure filled the room. His eyebrows were scrunched up and desperation was written all over his face. 
He had never looked more beautiful.
Distracted by the mesmerizing view, the hand at your core stopped moving. Instead of continuing, you let it wander away from your body to touch Spencer’s thigh. Before you could overthink it, your hand kept moving to his center. 
A heavy breath fell from his lips as your fingertips cautiously brushed over the velvety skin of his balls, making his body jerk underneath you. Smiling to yourself, you remembered how sensitive he was. 
Spencer stopped moving his hand, waiting to see how you’d proceed. When you touched the soft curls at his base, he whimpered. It was then that you realized that you were not scared anymore and that your nervousness had turned into excitement. 
“Can I continue?”
Spencer audibly gulped before removing his hand. “Yes… please.” 
When you wrapped your fingers around his length, both of you moaned in unison. Holding him in your hand like that felt both familiar and novel at the same time. You started moving your palm and quickly remembered how exactly he liked to be touched. 
“Fuck,” he groaned. “Feels good!” 
With all the built-up tension and those months of abstinence, it only took a few moments until Spencer was getting close to reaching his point of no return. Familiar with all the telltale signs of his impending climax, you continued caressing him. Coming closer to his undoing, his cock twitched inside your palm and his entire body started quivering. 
His release began spilling over your hand and onto his stomach while he kept pulsing against your fingers. You kissed his jaw and his neck before you reached for the tissues on your nightstand to do some damage control of the mess you had created. 
Your husband’s chest was still heaving when you finished cleaning him up. Concern was written all over his face when he found your eyes.
He pulled you back into his embrace as he asked, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah I am. That was really fun,” you snickered. 
Spencer's hand brushed over your back as he placed a soft kiss on your mouth. “Do you want me to touch you?”
The truth was that your entire body was aching for his touch. You could feel the heat burning between your legs and were aware that your arousal had started coating the insides of your thighs. It had been a long time since you’d felt so turned on. 
And yet, the thought of him actually doing something about it made you nervous. 
“I’m not sure,” you admitted. “I would like to kiss you again, though.”
He let out a breathy laugh before finding your mouth once more. Feeling his lips on yours only blazed up the fire burning inside you. You shifted your position until you were hovering over your husband, one of his thighs pressed between yours. 
Tentatively you began rocking your hips against his leg, sighing as you realized how pleasant the friction was. 
“Is that okay?” You breathed against his lips as you kept moving. 
“More than okay,” he reassured you. “Use my body however you like.”
You sat up as you ground against his skin, feeling him tense his thigh underneath you. Taking his hands in yours, you placed them on your hips so he could help you move. Soon you had created a mess on his leg as you spread your wetness along his skin. 
With your entire entire body twitching, your motions became erratic. Looking down at Spencer, you found him staring at you with lust-filled eyes and a wicked grin painted over his face. 
As you danced along the edge of euphoria, you forgot your surroundings. It was only you and him right then. “I love you,” you whimpered and before your husband could respond, you collapsed into his arms as pleasure overcame you. You kept pressing your core against his leg as your whole body shook. 
Spencer held you firmly inside his arms as you came down from your high. He kissed your forehead and whispered, “I love you more.”
After your heart rate had come down to a normal frequency and you weren’t panting anymore, you kissed your husband. 
“How are you feeling?” He wanted to know. 
“Good. And also a little sticky,” you snickered, hinting at the mess you had created between your legs. 
“Yeah, me too,” Spencer chuckled. “How about I run us a bath so we can get cleaned up?” 
The prospect of that made your heart flutter. “That sounds wonderful.”
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Author's Note: Writing this story took me two years and I am so relieved I was finally able to get it to paper. I hope reading it felt as cathartic for you as writing it was for me. Thank you for reading! I would really appreciate a reblog and a comment.
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Taglist: @adoredfromafar @grumpyy-bearr @frickin-bats @pleasantwitchgarden @cynbx @xserenax-13 @alexxavicry @samuel-de-champagne-problems @evvy96 @reidsbookclub @lover-of-books-and-tea @sebs-oxygen @nomajdetective @kobaltdragon @matthew-gray-gubler-lover @castiels-majestic-wings
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demilypyro · 6 months ago
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So I reread Gwenpool Strikes Back and I think I actually like her "616 mutant origin" more now than I did before. Because I didn't fully get what they were doing before.
The inciting incident that starts the miniseries is Gwenpool discovering a new ability. It isn't very well explained in the moment, but it boils down to this: she can imagine things happening before or in-between the panels of the story, and if she then "flashes back" to them in her thoughts, they will retroactively become real events that really happened.
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The best way to explain this is using the battle royale she organizes in issue 3: she imagines having set this up off-screen, and it became retroactively true. She initially didn't have a prize in mind, but just has to imagine that Tony Stark donated a bunch of money to be a cash prize, and suddenly it's like that happened. It became true retroactively. She seems to be able to just decide things happened off-screen, and the universe will agree.
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As far as abilities go, this is absolutely King Crimson levels of convoluted, and this definitely makes Gwenpool a ridiculously powerful character, but for the purpose of the story, sure, let's say she can do that now.
Now, as we all know, at the end of the miniseries, Gwenpool has a conversation with Ms. Marvel. Kamala doesn't believe Gwen's claims that the Marvel universe is a comic book, and suggests an alternate theory: she may actually just be a mutant with amnesia.
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We the audience know this is not true, and so does Gwen. She IS from the real world, and Kamala simply can't comprehend Gwen's perspective on her universe.
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But what matters here is that while listening to Kamala's theory, Gwen imagined it. While unintentional, she used her power. She had a "flashback." Which made it real. Retroactively real.
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Entirely by accident, there are now two truths:
Gwenpool is from the real world, and is a normal person
Gwenpool is from the Marvel universe, and is a mutant
Though this wasn't Gwen's intention, these statements are now both equally, irreversibly true, and always have been. And so, the Krakoan gate opens. The universe now considers her a mutant.
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It's not just that she was accepting Kamala's version of events. She WASN'T a mutant. But now she is. Her powers changed the past. She accidentally retconned herself into being a mutant. Gwen and the audience both know that her 616 mutant origin didn't really happen, but as far as the universe is concerned, it did. Her power made it true.
I feel like they could have done a better job explaining this, but they probably didn't have all the pages in the world to spend on exposition. Either way, I like GSB more now that I properly understand what they were going for.
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heavysighing-dreamyeyes · 6 months ago
Note
Request idea:
Your darling, adoring, wonderful boyfriend Jason sits you down And solemnly confesses that he is red hood. He’s been dreading this day for months. If you want to leave, he’ll understand and wait—-
WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU KNEW THE WHOLE TIME?
Jason thinks he’s in an angst fic. The reader is in a rom com where her boyfriend has been a ridiculously obvious superhero, but she’ll let him tell her when he’s ready.
Maybe some shaningany flashbacks where you’ve helped to keep his identity secret (stalling so he can change, giving alibis) while he was oblivious.
- Batchilla
To Wait and To Love
Hi Batchilla! Hope you enjoy! ♡ ~1.5k words
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Your boyfriend is a vigilante, Red Hood, to be exact. You know this. He's just not aware you know this.
It's obvious, really, and kind of cute the way he makes excuses to leave. Sure, before you put two and two together, it was starting to seem like he was just dragging you along. But it all made sense when you caught sight of the helmet poorly concealed under his bed.
It makes you wonder if he wants to get caught. Especially when he brings you flowers from the shop you just saw him save from Poison Ivy on TV. Or freezer-burnt cartons of ice cream from your favorite ice cream shop, which was buried under piles of snow courtesy of one Mr. Freeze only twenty minutes ago.
You offer him big smiles and kisses of thanks, and your heart melts a little at how relieved he looks, how baffled he is by your understanding. And you do understand. To tell someone you run around in spandex and leather every night is a big risk, especially for someone who used to run crime in Gotham.
You're no angel yourself, even if he does call you one, and it's endearing to watch him scramble for excuses. It's even more endearing that he tries so hard to make it up to you when he's late, when he has to leave early, when he comes back battered and bruised with flimsy half-thought out explanations.
You'll let him take all the time he needs to tell you, and it's almost funny how easily you've come to cover for him.
"Jason? Oh, he's changing his suit. Someone knocked into me and I spilled my drink all over his jacket. How embarrassing," You laugh out, answering the reporter's question over Jason's absence from the latest Wayne Gala. It's only half a lie, you might not have spilled your drink but he's definitely changing his suit. It's just not the suit anyone would expect.
Once whispers of a break-in at Gotham National Bank started circulating the Gala, it wasn't hard to miss the meaningful glances between your boyfriend and his family. Sometimes you wonder how no one's noticed it before.
You smile brightly at him once he comes back, smelling like gunpowder and leather, and you let him kiss your knuckles while he mumbles apologies over getting caught up with an old friend. You don't imagine Riddler is exactly an old friend, but you teasingly tell him how he owes you a dance for making you wait. He smiles back, his own grin even brighter than yours, as he leads you to the dance floor.
You're opening the door to your apartment, chatting lazily with your friend after a night out.
"Is your boyfriend here? I remember you saying you two were practically living together," they ask, eyes trailing around your living space.
You hum thoughtfully, "We pretty much are. I think he might be sleeping or out looking for the stray cat we saw the other day. It had a bad limp." It's not a hundred percent a lie either, there was a hurt stray. You just know that Catwomen already picked it up, after a text Jason sent to Bruce Wayne's current girlfriend, Miss. Selena Kyle. Which would have been more of a surprise if you didn't already know who Batman was.
But it definitely isn't the truth, because you did catch sight of a red helmet following you and your friend back from the club. (Gotham never felt safer, than when he was watching over you.)
Your friend coos and starts to respond, when a thump sounds from the fire escape. They jolt, "What was that?"
"The cat, probably," You say quickly, letting out a laugh, "it's, uh, pretty big. Has a limp. Hey, did I show you the flowers Jason got me?" You gesture towards the bouquet behind them, and you both focus on the pretty blossoms.
Within minutes, you hear your bedroom door open and close. "Hi, baby," Jason drawls, looping an arm around your waist to pull you to his side, "Sorry, I fell asleep, how was your night?"
You pretend not to notice the limp he's nursing, one you're certain he should be resting, and tilt your head up to kiss his jaw, "It was fun. Missed you."
"I missed you too," he echoes fondly, and the three of you fall into an easy conversation. You distract your friend when you all go to sit on the couch, and if you choose to avoid sitting on his left side, it's certainly not because Red Hood hurt his leg fighting Killer Croc earlier this week.
Jason has never said your name like that before. His eyebrows are knitted together. He's kneeling in front of you, his hands clasped over yours as you sit on the bed.
"I love you and I– I have something to tell you," he chokes out, strained, "please, just– just, hear me out."
It clicks. This is it. He's going to tell you.
You smile and nod, it'll be nice to finally air out this secret. And maybe he could help you work on your excuses? It'll be easier if you're working as a team. You reach out and brush his hair back, unfazed and delighted he's trusting you enough with this, "Of course, Jason. Anything you need to tell me."
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Jason is going to throw up. He's finally gotten his act together enough that he's going to tell his partner he's Red Hood. His stomach is churning, it's agony, knowing he could lose them over this.
They're so good to him. So understanding and patient and kind. He has no idea how he got so lucky. And he loves them. It's scary sometimes, how much he loves them. He wants this to last so badly. So, he has to be honest. Has to tell them he isn't what the world says he is.
He's a vigilante. Was a crime lord. He hurts people to save people. He terrifies the trash that calls themselves human. He's not good for you, but he tries. He wants you to still love him.
He wants you to stay so much. Even if he's not good. He wants you. You deserve so much more than the excuses and lies he gives. Jason's wanted to tell you for weeks, but he chokes on his words every time. He's never been so afraid of doing something. Not when he was a kid on the streets. Not when he was Robin. Not as Red Hood.
You look so perfect, sitting at the edge of your bed and smiling at him. He almost flinches when he thinks this could be the last time you smile at him.
He's on his knees. He's prepared to beg. He would beg to keep you.
He says your name, he tells you he loves you. It might be the last time he gets to say that to you. The thought makes him even more nauseous. He tells you he has something to say.
You brush his hair back and keep smiling. He wants to sob. You don't know. You don't know what he is, what he's done.
"I'm Red Hood," he gasps out, voice ragged.
A beat. You're still smiling, you still look happy, and you're nodding at him.
He blinks at you, "I'm Red Hood," he repeats, "I know that- I know it's a lot. I understand if you never want to see me again, but, baby–"
You lean forward and kiss him. He's more than just a little dumbfounded. "Jason, I love you too. I'm not leaving you. I, um, kind of already knew you were Red Hood?" You say, a sheepish smile coming over your face.
"You– what?" Jason stumbles out. You're still here. Still touching him. You kissed him. You look relaxed. Happy.
"I saw your helmet under the bed. Everything clicked after that," You tell him gently.
"And you're okay with that? You're okay with me?" He asks, tone betraying his desperation.
Concern flashes in your eyes, "Of course I'm okay– I'm more than okay with that, Jason. I love you, tights or not."
He lets out a laugh, and his stomach swoops, the tension dissipating throughout his body, "Yeah?"
You grin at him, cupping his face, "Yeah, but you're going to have to show me how you swing around rooftops."
He gets off his knees to kiss you again, he doesn't think this moment could get any better, "Is that all?"
You giggle, at the pure elation in his eyes, and he grins widely at your joy. Then, the moment does get better, "Well, I'm kinda interested in the car Batman drives around you."
"I could make that happen," he murmurs, and seals the promise with another kiss, "You wanna see the batplane too?"
Your eyes light up, and Jason thinks he might be addicted to the mischievous glint that flickers in your gaze.
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batsplat · 4 months ago
Note
bringing this back just. y'know
could you say that marc is the best flag to flag pilot, at least in modern motogp?
idk if it's recency bias or what but I just rewatched misano 2015 and brno 2017 and like beyond his actual skill in the wet (which I think is pretty up there) honda and him usually nailed the strategy i think
misano 2014 was obv not great bc he came in too late but I think on the whole
oh yeah, it's not particularly close. and 'modern motogp' is in this case a completely unnecessary caveat! f2f was only introduced in 2005 as a more tv-friendly format and the first f2f race was phillip island 2006. until 2015, there's not like... any real patterns amongst the winners - and generally they're rare enough that you can't draw that many conclusions from who's winning them. marc's first f2f is technically phillip island 2013, which wasn't a weather-related bike switch but did of course feature the notable team fuck up that got him disqualified and could have cost him the title. then it's aragon 2014 where he fucks it and crashes because he didn't switch bikes when he should have, yes. but after that, the record's flawless: wins misano 2015, argentina 2016 (also a tyre-related bike swap), sachsenring 2016, brno 2017 - the full set until 2021. I do have another ask sitting in my drafts sent well before misano, which requires a longer response because it's about what makes a rider good or bad at f2f... so I'll go into more detail there. for now, yes there's a little bit of luck involved in some of these wins, a gamble or two that paid off because his race wasn't actually going all that great until he swapped bikes, but it's a record that kinda speaks for itself. it also probably speaks for itself that I spent much of the season pre-aragon attempting to singlehandedly manifest rain clouds. representative sample included here of my dispassionate analysis of the situation:
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which made me initially quite irritable when the rain showed up at the race after aragon, but that's neither here nor there. anyway, I will go into this in a little more detail for that other ask, but I do think it's the f2f format specifically that suits marc. it's just those specific conditions where it's not wet wet but kinda slippery and gross where he really thrives - which of course you also see with stuff like his affinity for low grip conditions in general. plus, he developed a knack for picking the correct strategies in this genre of races. his record in proper wet races is significantly worse... if I had to make a list of the best wet weather riders this century, a few names would sneak ahead (dovi, casey and valentino being the obvious picks, and some of those riders were..... not so great at f2f). here's the comparison:
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so yup - he's not a bad wet weather rider by any stretch of the imagination, but it's the type of mess thrown up by f2f where he really thrives. neat skill to have
#//#brr brr#//currt#not like i particularly mind the marc prop but occasionally you want to shove spreadsheets at people#like i get the sense his wet weather record is seen solely in terms of his f2f brilliance. where he is unmatched!!#but it's also inarguable that his record in full wet races is substantially worse which is interesting in its own right#can't believe i'm making a 2015 comparison of my own volition but i was getting strong silverstone 2015 flashbacks#where marc was hounding valentino for much of the race and then crashed. which obviously wasn't ultimately ideal for the points situation#so when marc crashed today i went. right. yeah. fair enough i saw the script in advance#marc's at his best in changing conditions where the grip level is uncertain. NOT full wet where he is *good* but not a class apart#it's a little unfair to compare his raw numbers to valentino's given f2f was only introduced in '06. but casey + dovi low key have the edge#during the time period when both dovi and marc competed in the premier class dovi got four 'full' wet weather wins to marc's one#and marc's 2017 misano win was a last lap spite fuelled overtake!! he's never dominated a race in the wet#this really isn't to do marc down. the inaccuracy just bugs me b/c if anything it's more compelling that he's *specifically* goated at f2f#mind u since making this spreadsheet i did clock that if misano this year counts as f2f surely assen 2017 would too#which. groundbreaking! valentino managed to technically get his last victory in a format he was absolute ass at!#it'd be nice if motogp could just like. provide a list of what races are classified as what so i'm not going off memory and a dream but <3
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envy-of-the-apple · 7 months ago
Text
Rewound Infinitely
Gojo Satoru x Reader
Part one: Infinite Rewind
Synopsis: A decade later, Gojo has finally caught up with you. Weddings take a lot of planning.
Word Count: 8.6k
(Warnings: flashbacks to gore, not healthy trauma coping, thats all tho! pretty wholesome compared to last time)
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Some things about him had changed within a decade, while others stayed the same. 
Even taller than you last saw him. His hair has been styled, no longer ivory chaos. You can't see a single blemish or mark despite the decade of fighting curses. He's as flawless as the first day you met him. No glasses; the entirety of his blue keeps you still.
You've seen this Satoru before: Suguru's memories, with glassy eyes, ruffled ivory hair, and an empty expression. Seeing such beauty yourself when you're standing right in front of him, it's breathtaking. 
Even the lights of Tokyo couldn't compare to him. 
You say nothing. You can't. Your mouth is dry and pointless. You're not even sure where to even begin. In front of a God, your insecurities pile up all over again. Is he disappointed by you? How could you explain everything that you put him through? Your mouth opens, you think you're about to speak: an apology, a plea, anything-
"—You're late!" 
His hands reach up to squish your cheeks together. It was so unexpected, you squeak. 
And Gojo Satoru is pouting. 
It's a wave. The ocean of anxiety, guilt, and fear crashes into the shore. You feel nothing but indignant rage at the brat who clearly hadn't matured one damn bit. 
"I'm not late!" You hiss back. "If anything, you're the one who's late. I was—"
You're cut off by his laugh, light and happy. 
He isn't offended by your outburst; he's overjoyed about it. His cheeks are dabbed with pink, and his lips are so wide that he's showing his teeth. Your anger wanes when he pulls you into his chest, arms circling around you. You can smell his cologne when he buries his face into your hair. 
"There you are. Finally." He melts into you like butter. "I missed you, Greeny." 
His voice is soft, quiet, and sincere. You can't do anything but hug him back, allowing him to sink.
"I missed you, too." You whisper.
He hums. Apart from the wind, it's quiet. He's clinging onto you as though he's afraid once he lets go, you'll disappear forever. His behavior is justified. You were constantly meddling with his life before whisking away. Just this once, you allow him to keep you within his reach, letting the cat catch the canary. 
"This is sweet 'n all. But we're actually getting late." He mutters. "Also, we gotta do something about your clothes." 
"Hm?" 
One moment, you're atop the Tokyo Skybridge; the next, you're standing in an upscale boutique. 
Satoru skips away from you. Meanwhile, you're frozen, brain scrambling to catch up with what happened. Teleport. He can teleport now.
"Mr. Gojo, sir." A voice calls. An older woman smiles at him. 
He gives her a casual wave before gesturing over to you. "Mind giving this one a dress? It's a black-tie event. We don't have a budget." 
The woman turns to you with a smile. "Of course, sir." 
What?
Dazed, you pliantly follow the woman into the back of the boutique. Her hold on you is gentle as she ushers you through the hall with one hand on either side of your shoulders. When you look back, Satoru is waving with a wide grin. The door shuts behind you. 
"Do you have any preferences?" 
You turn back to the woman. She's still smiling. You can't tell if it's genuine or customer service. Perhaps both. 
Did Satoru not like what you're wearing? When you look down, it makes sense. Your time on the tower wasn't kind to your hair, not to mention your clothes. This morning, you'd just thrown on the first thing you saw. 
This morning. That felt like centuries ago. 
She's still waiting. You give a trepid smile. 
"Anything," you say, "anything as long as it's cheap. I'm not exactly swimming in cash." 
She gives a confused look. "Oh, but Mr. Gojo is paying, isn't he?" 
Was he? You had no idea what was happening, much less what he had just said. She returns to her usual smile. 
"If you have nothing in mind, let's see here..." 
Some time later, your usual clothing was removed and replaced by something satin and long. It was a pretty dress that fell right to your feet. A set of women also flitted in and worked on your hair and face, putting everything back in your face so that you looked more human and less cryptid. 
"What do you think?" She asks, looking at you through that mirror. 
Pretty, you looked pretty. But when you looked closer, no amount of make-up could remove that look in your eyes. 
When you step back out, Satoru is waiting with a tapping foot. 
"Finally!" He exclaims, standing up. He doesn't acknowledge the dress, probably because he's seen himself in better. "Thanks, Hana. Okay, let's go." 
"Go?" You prod. "Go where? You—you still haven't told me what you're even doing—" 
It's no use. He grabs your hand, instantly warping you away from the boutique. 
You're outside. There's people everywhere. In the distance, you can see a crystal glass dome. The sun was still in the sky, which was strange because you remembered watching a sunset not too long ago, unless you weren't in Japan anymore. To prove it to yourself, you check your phone location. Yakima, Washington. What the fuck.
Was this some type of torture, him flitting you from continent to continent, all in a ploy to punish you for something? You give him a pleading look. 
"Just tell me what's going on—" 
"Nuh-uh." He grins. "It's a surprise! Besides, you'll figure it out soon enough. Now, I gotta' go. Stay here, be good, and find the panda!" 
And then he's gone.
You always knew he was insane, but this is ridiculous, even for him. To leave you in the middle of nowhere, that asshole.  
There is no one you recognize in the crowd, but they are all walking towards the dome, so you meekly follow. What did he say? Find the panda? It had to be a metaphor of some kind, or perhaps there was a panda statue you needed to wait under. 
And then you see a panda on two legs walking and talking with a group of teenagers.
Seriously, what else did you expect? 
Feeling like you've just aged five years, you approach the group. Including the animal, there's five. They all look like 14-16 years old. You feel like you're in high school all over again when they glance over at you. The girl looks particularly unimpressed. 
"Hi." You look at the panda. Maybe it's a really good costume because no one else looks shocked. "Satoru said I should find you...?" 
One of them seems to get the code. The one with black hair and puppy eyes perks up. 
"Ah! Are you 'Greeny'?" Did he tell everyone about that nickname? Didn't you tell him it was supposed to be a secret? Though, it doesn't really matter anymore. 
"It's not my actual name." You say before introducing yourself. 
He gives a nod. "Okkutso Yuta." He bows. What a polite kid. "This is my friend, Inumaki Toge." 
The kid with half his face under his scarf gives a wave. You smile. 
"Just Maki." The girl steps in before she gives you a once-over. "I like your dress." 
"Oh, thank you!" You say happily, "I love yours as well!" 
She looks away, but you have a feeling she has a hard time taking compliments. 
"I'm Panda." The panda fucking says, and no, it isn't a costume, but you're too tired to ask at this point. "Nice to finally meet you." 
When the final kid says nothing, Panda reaches over and wraps a furry hand around his shoulder. 
"And this is Fushiguro Megumi! He's shy." Panda says cheerily. The boy flusters under his weight. 
"Get off." Fushiguro gripes. 
"Don't mind him." Maki rolls her eyes. "He's just throwing a tantrum because his sister couldn't make it, and he's gonna have to socialize with people instead of hiding behind her." 
Fushiguro glares, but he doesn't respond to that. He just gives you a nod, and you decide these are good kids. At the very least, they're all way better than that brat Satoru. 
"So, why are we waiting out here?" You ask, peering around. 
"The doors haven't opened, yet," Okkutso kindly relays, "we're just waiting out here until everything is set up." 
"If they're taking this long, then they should at least ask for help." Maki crosses her arms. "We've been waiting out here for at least thirty minutes." 
"At least there's food." Panda tries to assuage. 
"Salmon," says Inumaki. 
"They're serving salmon out here?" You give him an incredulous look and he waves his arms around. 
"Bonito flakes." Inumaki says. Okkutso tries to come to his rescue. 
"Inumaki can't speak anything but food items because of his curse-" Maki quickly yanks him down by his collar frantically. Fushiguro is whispering something in his ear. You watch them go back and forth before it clicks. 
"Does it have something to do with his technique?" You ask, curiously. 
They stop squabbling. 
"Oh, our bad. Sorry 'bout that." Panda gives a sheepish grin. "We didn't think you'd know about jujutsu sorcery 'cause...well. Your cursed energy is really low." 
"Super low." Maki agrees. 
"Salmon." 
"Even lower than Maki's." That earns Panda a punch from her. 
"Thank you," you dryly say, before you turn back to the building. 
"What's going on in that place anyway?" 
They all give you an odd look before they look at each other. Did you say something wrong?
"Did Gojo-sensei not tell you anything?" Okkotsu asks. 
You allow yourself to leak some bitterness. "Satoru just dropped me on the sidewalk before teleporting away. He never tells me anything.
"That sounds like him." Panda nods. 
"Idiot," Maki says.
"Such an idiot," Fushiguro says, and now you feel bad for Satoru.
"Our sensei's getting married today." Okkutso supplies. He points at the dome. 
You don't get why you didn't realize it sooner. You knew these kids, at least Okkutso, Maki, Panda, and Inumaki. They all showed up on the very last day Geto Suguru died. Okkutso, in particular, had fought and defeated Suguru. 
These were Gojo Satoru's students. 
You think back to the last time you saw Satoru. He didn't look like a groom, but he's an eccentric guy. You wondered what kind of person would put up with him for the rest of their lives. You pitied them. 
"Oh." You frown. "His wedding? I—I would have at least brought a gift." 
"I don't think he'd mind," Panda said, "besides, you didn't even know!" 
You still felt a bit guilty. 
"We didn't bring anything either," Fushiguro states, and it helps just a tiny bit. 
"When the ceremony begins, you can sit with us," Okkutso tells you, "we're supposed to keep an eye on you, anyway." 
"You're not talking to a dog." Maki grunts. 
"Oh no I—I didn't mean to be offensive!" Okkutso backtracks. "It's just—well, Gojo-sensei's been talking about you for a while, and we want to make sure everything goes smoothly and we were all really excited to meet you so—" 
He keeps rambling like that until Inumaki pats his shoulder. You laugh, amused. 
"I wasn't offended or anything." You tell him before his words sink in. "Wait, Satoru talks about me?" 
"All the time." Maki responds, an edge to her voice. "'Greeny this', 'Greeny that'." 
"We usually tune him out when he gets like that," Panda says, "honestly, we didn't even think you were real until just now." 
"I always thought 'Greeny' was an inside joke Gojo-sensei and Haibara-sensei had," Okkotsu admits. 
Something warm bubbles in your stomach. 
"So," Fushiguro speaks, "how do you know Gojo, anyway?" 
You didn't know the story Gojo told them so you simply keep it vague. 
"I knew him as a kid." 
It's Panda who gets the most excited about this. 
"Really? What was he like as a teenager?" 
"A brat." You instantly respond, and then you think a little more. "But I don't think that ever changed." 
They ask you a couple more questions about Gojo's high school days. You oblige, thinking this as payback for how Satoru dropped you here without saying anything. You don't know how long you spend out there, airing out Gojo's younger days while his students get increasingly giggly. 
Okkotsu is the one who notices the crowd is moving. 
"I think they opened the doors." He smiles. "Let's go, everyone." 
You follow behind Maki, admiring the architecture. It's a grand building. Sparkling crystal glass lets the sunlight bleed in. The decoration was something else entirely. Small white flowers adorn the chandelier, and they cascade down the edges. Ice sculptures of angels greeted the guests. Live music was already playing. Satoru knows how to plan a wedding. 
Maki finds you all seats. You sit next to her. Fushiguro follows you. Okkutso, Inumaki, and Panda take the seats behind you. While you wait for the guests to settle down, you pass your time, waiting for the students to bicker with one another. From your assumption, it looked as though Maki, Panda, and occasionally Inumaki butted heads with each other. Okkutso often served as the timid referee, trying to get everyone to calm down, which almost always made things worse. Fushiguro just elected to ignore everything. 
"Are they always like this?" You lean over to whisper to him. Fushiguro gives a tired nod. 
"Every. Single. Day." He's saying this from experience, but at least you get a show. 
Everyone settles down eventually. The kids grow quiet when the music starts to swell. The indoor lights dim. It's starting. 
You've never been to a wedding this grand before. There was a live orchestra. Women and men were dressed in baby blue, gently strumming away their cellos, violins, and violas. 
It's how you miss Satoru's entrance. He's already standing on the altar by the time you look back. He's changed into something more formal. The suit and green tie fit him. A perfectly put-together beauty. As though he can sense your stare, he catches your eye and winks. 
But why was he already up there? Shouldn't he be—
"Sensei's coming!" Okkotsu whisper-yells. Inumaki hushes him.
Everyone turns to face the door. You do, too. 
Your heart stops when you see him. 
It's all there. Black hair, but it's longer this time around. Of course it is, he's had years to grow it out. He's tall, he must've grown since highschool. 
You don't think you're breathing when you watch him walk down the aisle. The music is low, barely loud enough to hide the click of his heels. He takes his rightful place beside Satoru, his best man. Satoru gives him a nudge, and Suguru shakes his head fondly. 
Everyone turns to see Shoko's entrance. You should too, but you keep staring at him. How much he's changed since high school. How much he's changed since he waltzed onstage wearing a priest's outfit, filled with nothing but empty hatred for those he viewed as weak. 
But he's not wearing that twisted monk costume. His eyes aren't dull and dead and bitter. There's no sickly faux smile on his lips.
Today, Suguru looks like the happiest man on Earth. 
His eyes are wide and eager and sparkling purple beauties. He's 27, but he looks younger. The lines of exhaustion and heartbreak aren't so prominent. And you—and you—
You just sit there, watching as Shoko walks up to the altar, watching as they stand as bride and groom. His daughters, adorned in pretty blue dresses, stand right behind him, smiling so hard you're sure it hurts. The priest speaks. They say their vows. You can't hear a single word. It's like you're behind a glass wall, and you can see him, but you can't feel him. 
 When they kiss, everything comes back. The crowd celebrates. Satoru ruffles Himeno's hair. Nanako smiles wider. Behind you, Inumaki and Panda sniffles. Okkotsu hands them a tissue. 
"It’s pretty." Maki comments. Fushiguro gives a hum of agreement. 
Satoru finds you and the kids when you're waiting for the reception to start. 
He appears behind you with a cheery, "And how are my lovely students holding up?" You almost spill your drink in shock.
"Sensei!" Okkotsu chirps. "Where's Geto-sensei and Ieiri-sensei?" 
"Shoko's around; Suguru's taking a break," Gojo answers with a grin. "If you don't mind me, I'll be stealing this one for a sec." 
He doesn't wait for an answer, steering you away by your shoulders. You look behind you. Panda waves. Fushiguro just looks even more upset. You wave back at them regardless. 
"I can't believe you put your students out on babysitting duty." You tell him. "And what's with this wedding? There's no alcohol anywhere." To make your point, you take another sip of your apple juice. 
"We have kids here. Kinda' have to make it alcohol-free," Satoru says. 
"The bartender could ID them." You suggest. 
"You think teens who fight curses daily wouldn't figure out how to get around that?" He grins. You frown at his frustratingly good response. 
“What’d you think of them?”
“Hm?”
“The kids.” He urges. “What’d you think?”
Your brows scrunch. You have no idea what he means by that. Eventually, you take a breath.
“I like how...close they are.” You eventually say. “The bond they share. They care. I think each one of them will be good sorcerers.”
He’s silent, and you think you might have misunderstood his question.
“I learned that from you,” Satoru says, “keeping them together, making sure they can grow, get stronger, together. You were always so insistent on that, back then. I’m glad you were. It was one of the best things about you.”
You stare at him. Really stare. You’ve never heard him sound so genuine, so sincere before. You look into his crystal-blue eyes, wide and earnest. Part of you wants to take a picture, so you could keep it forever.
Eventually, Gojo successfully drags you to a less crowded area of the party. He looks around. 
"Hm, he should be around here somewhere...?" Satoru hums to himself. 
"Who?" You ask. That question answers itself. 
Haibara Yu is waiting a little ways ahead. By now, the sun was starting to set. His brown hair turned gold. Gojo eagerly hurries you forward as he calls out to him. You stumble, still lost at what you're seeing. 
"Guess who I brought?" Gojo sweetly sings, Yu-Haibara, he hasn't let you call him Yu yet-tilts his head.
He smiles, confused. "Oh? Hello!" He says cheerily. "Who's this?" He asks to Gojo. 
"Guess," Gojo says. 
Haibara stares at you, and you decide to give him a hint. 
"Brocolli head?" 
He gapes. It's almost the same reaction he had last time. Last time, when you had to convince him to kill you so you could go back in time to save Satoru.  
"No way." He gasps. "Greeny?"
 He doesn't remember. He wouldn't, why would he? Still, it's nice to see the innocence on his face, rather than the pain you saw last time. Right before he snapped your neck. 
You think he was crying the last time you two saw each other. 
In this timeline, Haibara is hugging you so tightly you think your head's about to explode. 
"It's really you?" Haibara says, but his bear hug muffles his words. "“—I—I can’t believe it? It’s actually you! I thought I’d never see you again even though Satoru said we'd see you again one day, and—and then suddenly you pop up outta’ nowhere—not that I’m complaining— but—”
"Haibara." You plead. "You're suffocating me." 
"Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry." He lets you go, and your lungs inflate again. "I—I'm just so happy! And—and you're a girl!" He says it like it's the most surprising thing about this whole revelation. Maybe it is. 
Satoru is always needy for attention and whines as always. 
"Wait, you two came up with a code word?" He complains. "That's not fair. We never did that." 
"I mean, it was Haibara's idea." You point out. "You should be smarter next time." 
That makes him frown even more. You laugh. 
"Yu." Haibara suddenly says. 
You turn to him. 
"My friends call me Yu." 
It's nice to know that no matter what timeline you're in, Yu will always remain stagnant. 
"Okay, lover boy," Gojo says with a not-so playful bite, "keep your eye on this one for me, okay? Gotta' go do more best man shit." 
Satoru's gone once again. You look at Yu. 
"He's been running around since I got here." You tell him. "Does that man ever rest?" 
"Nope." Haibara grins, before taking your arm. "Follow me; you should meet a couple of people." 
He leads you through the crowd. You spot the teens moping about out of the corner of your eye. Panda and Inumaki seem to be in a push-up competition. Maki is egging them on. You wisely decide not to disturb them.
Yu drops your hand to wave to someone. There's no need for any kind of introduction for these people. 
Riko and Misato Kuroi smile at you first. Miss Kuroi's aged beautifully since you last saw her. Wispy silver hair knitted seamlessly into brown strands. She never got that chance to grow gray hairs last time. You're staring so much it might be rude. 
"Yu?" Riko asks and you think you're about to break because they know each other. "Who's this?" 
"Uh, this-" Haibara chokes before looking at your awkwardly. Right, he doesn't know your actual name. 
Come to think of it, Satoru doesn't know either. He never bothered to ask too. Probably on purpose. Ass. 
You smile and politely introduce yourself. It takes everything within you not to scream and hug them both because in this timeline, they don't know you. They never did. 
But you can change that now. 
"Hello!" Riko beams. "I'm Kuroi Riko, but just Riko is fine! And this is my mom: Kuroi Misato." 
She says that so plainly, like that had always been her name, like Miss Kuroi had always been her mother. You wonder how long it took for those two realities to become her norm. Or maybe it hardly took time at all. 
"It's wonderful to meet you." Miss Kuroi states before she tilts her head. "May I ask how you know the couple?" 
Haibara jumps in for you. "Um—actually, this is Satoru's date!" He fumbles. 
You do a double-take. No, you technically weren't Satoru's date. But you technically entered the wedding with him. And he was the one who 'invited' you. Fuck, you were the brat's date. Damn it. 
"Ah." Nanami cuts in for the first time. "So, you're the one Gojo won't shut up about." 
His accusation sounds like Maki's, but less harsh. You wonder if he has a favorite student. 
Nanami looks the most different from his high school counterpart. A new haircut, less slouchy, more tall and refined. He blinks at you, slow and calculating. 
Sheepishly, you laugh. "Yeah...that's me....sorry." 
"Don't be rude, Kento." 
Ieiri arrives with a soft smile and painted features. She's changed out of her glowing gown, sticking to something small yet perfectly elegant: a short white dress that curls ever so slightly at the ends. Riko's the first to hug her, ecstatic. Ieiri hugs her back, too, because they've become friends in this timeline. The circles under her eyes are less prominent. Her smile looks more real. This isn't the timeline where she's had to bury her friend; it's the timeline she's allowed to marry him. 
"Congratulations," you say politely once everyone is done cooing over her. She smiles at you, the way a stranger would. 
Then, her head tilts. 
"Sorry," she hesitates, "do we know each other? You...feel familiar somehow." 
Ieiri was the first person you met when you activated your technique and returned to the past for the first time. She was the one who calmed you down, kept you grounded. In a way, you owed a lot to her. 
Looking at her, you can see why Suguru kept her cigarettes in his pocket. 
You shrug. "I must have one of those faces." 
The attention turns back to her, her beautiful dress, pure and white and beautiful. You feel Haibara stare at you. You shake your head at him. It wasn't the time. Maybe it never will be. 
"This really is a beautiful wedding," Mistato says when the conversation reaches a pleasant lull, "I can't imagine how much it cost." 
She shrugged. 
"Probably a fortune, but I let Satoru deal with the numbers." 
Misato looks confused, and Ieiri laughs. 
"He paid for everything." She gestures to the venue. "Suguru and I didn't have to fork over a single cent. It's the least he could do for being a pain in the ass for 12 years." 
Damn, you knew he was rich, but you didn't know he was rich rich. Maybe you should consider being nicer to him. If you ask politely, perhaps you could get him to pay off your car loans. 
"I'll get him to pay for my wedding too." Riko proudly says. 
"He'd probably do it, too." Ieiri nodded along. "He offered, just like that. The only thing he was hellbent on was the date." 
"The date?" You echo. Ieiri shrugs, messing with her laced sleeves. 
"Said it absolutely needed to be on December 24th. Something about spirituality. I never listened to that guy's rants." 
It comes to you immediately, but you're pushing it away. No way. Satoru wouldn't. There isn't a chance in Hell he would have convinced his friends to have the biggest day of their lives on the same day you were supposed to meet him. 
No, of course, he would do that. Ass. 
"So, how do you know Satoru?" Riko asks you. When she realized how rude it sounded, she backtracked. "I—I didn't mean anything by it! It's just...the guy only knows five people. When he spoke about bringing someone along, I thought he was joking." 
"Same here," Nanami says. Haibara stifles a laugh, and you realize all of Satoru's friends think he's a loser. 
Friends. Back then, he only had one of those. 
"Um." You toss Haibara look. He shrugs. "We met a few years ago! But we just recently reconnected." That's close enough to the truth. Good enough. 
You remember your blunder. You sympathetically look at Shoko. 
"I'm so sorry I wasn't able to bring a gift," you say, "I was blindsided. Satoru barely gave me enough time to get ready." 
You laugh, and you're hoping they laugh it off too. They don't, instead Shoko, Nanami, Riko, and Misato look at you. Then, they look at each other. 
Nanami speaks first. He clears his throat.
"Did Satoru....abduct you?" 
"What?" 
"That sounds like him." Misato sighs, more exasperated than anything else.
Riko nods along with her. "We tried to teach him. Where did we go wrong?" she laments. 
Haibara and Shoko laugh as you desperately try to defend your not-date date because he didn't actually kidnap you, but he did bring you here against your will and started dragging you along like some toy, but it's the context about that that matters. You wished they could've had a bit more faith in him. Poor Satoru. 
It ends eventually. Ieiri excuses herself. Riko and Misato go too. You stay with Yu and Nanami, watching as they get into increasingly petty arguments. It’s hilarious how quickly Yu is able to bring the usually staunch and serious Nanami down to his level.
Sometime later, you find yourself roaming the balcony. The party roars on indoors, laughing, talking, cheering. It was chilly outside, you should go back in within a few minutes. You just needed a break from the action.
The sun had already gone down, by then. You were somewhere out in the country. The buildings sparsely dotted the horizon. There were no artificial lights. It meant the stars could shine as brightly as they wanted to, with no one to stop them.
You hadn’t seen Satoru in a while. You had no idea where he’d run off to. It didn’t matter; you knew he’d eventually pop out of a box to harass you again.
But now that you had space for yourself, you needed to think.
You rest your hands over the rail, looking up at the stars. There were so many out tonight.
You fixed the future. You changed everything. Does that mean you still needed to tell Satoru about the past timeline?
You promised him answers the next time you two met. You promised him an explanation. He waited ten years for that. You pinch at the fabric of the dress.
This future that you carefully built, crafted with your own hands. It’s delicate, a glass castle.
It’s justice, but did that make it right?
“Want one?”
The voice makes you jump.
He stares at you, leaning against the rail. Purple eyes, mirroring the starry sky.
You knew these eyes, for a while, they used to be yours.
You stare at him. Then, you stare at the cigarette in his inviting fingers.
Your fingers twitch.
“No—no, I’m fine.” You smile. “Actually, I’m trying to quit.”
“Ah.” Suguru says, lighting it up before bringing it to his lips. “Shouldn’t tempt you, then. Pardon, what’s your name?”
You can hear your heartbeat. It’s loud, right in your ear. You wonder if he can hear it too. Are his curses around? Can they smell it? Your blood? Are they still as ravenous as the last time, eager to tear and fester and eat—
“It’s Greeny,” you say, “you can call me Greeny. ”
He hums in approval.
“Geto Suguru,” he says, “though I’m pretty sure you already know that.” You both share a huff of laughter.
“My fiancé quit a few years ago.” Suguru starts, mentioning the cherry-red cigarette. “Thought I’d follow in her footsteps, but here I am.” He shrugs before he winces.
“Wife, sorry.” He corrects. “I still can’t believe it.”
The monsters come out to play their song. You close your eyes, forgive Suguru, and you die once more.
You smile at his tone. He sounded like that 12 years ago, when he was still just a kid. Full of soft wonder.
“I’m guessing you’ve been planning this for a long time?” You ask.
He shrugs. “Shoko did most of the work. This is all thanks to her, really. Unfortunately, I was too busy managing the school.”
“I heard you were a principal?” You prod.
Suguru nods, “Our current one recently retired. I’m trying to follow in his footsteps.”
You think of Principal Yaga, the one with sunglasses and a stern expression. He looks a lot like Nanami in some areas. But he acts more like Suguru than anyone you ever knew.
And you knew Suguru; you knew him as well as yourself.
The screams start up again, and you forgive Suguru. 
“I can tell you’re already making him proud,” you say, “I met your students. They’re good kids.”
He smiles, soft, gentle. Those used to be your smiles.
“They are, aren’t they?” He repeats back, “some of them had a rough beginning, but it all worked out somehow.” He hums. “I’m glad.”
His daughters, the ones standing beside him as he kissed his wife, wide eyes and even wider grins. They didn’t have the darkness in their faces. The bitterness. Like they did in the last timeline.
You were glad, too.
This death is a lot more painful than the others. 
The curse that's holding you is more intelligent than its predecessors. It keeps you alive, tearing at your skin, feasting on your flesh. Blood is everywhere. You scream until it rips out your vocal cords. It's almost a mercy to just die. 
You forgive Suguru.
“It sounds like you’ve had personal experience with that sort of thing.” When he looks at you, you quickly say. “Your eyes. I—I can see it. I’ve always been good at that sort of thing.” You knew Suguru. His eyes matched yours.
He doesn’t look offended. Suguru takes a minute, reaching up to his black locks. He removes the elastic, pretty black hair falls down his shoulders He’s grown it out since high school. It reaches his waist.
He eases himself back onto the rail, looking up at the stars. You follow.
“Yeah, I do,” he’s saying, “I think I know what it’s like being them at that age. Alone, isolated, slipping down a rock. Drowning, but no one can see it.” Ingested. Exorcised. Ingested. Exorcised.
“When I was younger...it was really hard. Some days, I was so full of hate and anger. The pain was a lot. Sometimes, I had this despicable idea that it was someone else’s fault I was like this. Someone innocent.” He laughs, bitter.
“And, on those days, I would often feel something.”
You look at him. Suguru doesn’t stare back, eyes lost in the stars.
“Sometimes, it’d be a voice. Other times a small nudge on my shoulders, pushing me in the right direction. Once, it was a hug, keeping me from doing something that would’ve changed my life forever. And it would be just a bit more bearable, like I wasn’t so alone.”
You can feel your heart in your throat. Your fingers grip the railing.
“What did you think it was?” You expect hate, disgust. You want to give yourself a reason.
You forgive Suguru.
He takes a moment, coming back from heaven. His eyes find yours.
“I’m not sure.” He admits. “I’m not religious, but I always liked to think of it as—”
An angel. A hand of God. A higher power. It doesn’t matter what Suguru said, you knew what he meant.
A part of you always wondered why Suguru would return to Jujutsu society, when he wanted nothing more than to run from it. You expected him to retire. Instead, he took the reins of the beast, wrangling it down. Now, you get why.
“That’s why you’re a teacher now,” you say, “so you could be the same thing for your students.”
He nods, and you think of Maki. You think of Okkutso. You think of Panda. You think of Fushiguro. You think of Inumaki. Suguru must have been there for Maki, even when her own family wasn’t. Suguru must have helped Okkutso control his technique, being the only one who could. Suguru, must have made these kids better than they ever possibly could’ve been. Fighting for them instead of against them.
“Sorry.” He blinks. “I—I didn’t mean to get so sentimental. It’s been years since I thought about my own highschool years.” He laughs, voice full.
“You’re just...really nice to talk to.” He hums. “I don’t think I can explain it but it’s...familiar somehow.”
You look at him. He’s older, but in some ways, he hasn’t really changed. Even now, when you look at him, you see a reflection of yourself.
“I can see why he likes you.”
“Who?” You ask when he brings you back from your thoughts.
“The idiot.” But he says it so affectionately, so lovingly, you can’t help but smile. “I saw him dragging you around earlier. Sorry about that. I would’ve stepped in but...” He trails off, thinking.
“It’s been a while since I saw him like that.”
You hadn’t noticed anything about Satoru. He smiled just as brightly as he did in highschool. Now, you wonder if this was the first time in a while Suguru had seen that side of him: carefree, no longer The Strongest.
It hurts. It hurts so much. Blood seeps into the pavement. You can hear the curse laughing. It sounds like him.
You forgive Suguru. 
“Are you and him…” he trails off.
“No.” You laugh. “No, I’m his….childhood friend. We just haven’t seen each other in a while.”
“Oh?” He tilts his head. “How long has it been?”
You decide to be honest. “Ten or so years, give or take?”
He whistles.
“No wonder he’s bouncing around like a yipping puppy,” He says, and you can’t help but agree with the analogy.
“In any case.” He leans over the railing. His cigarette is down to its last embers. “I hope you stick around. A friend…I think he needs more of those more than anything.”
You stare at him. Those purple eyes. You can see what Shoko sees. You can see what Satoru saw all those timelines ago. They only ever saw the light, the gentleness, of Geto Suguru.
You are the only person in the world who knows him.
He’s killed people. He’s killed you. No matter how much logic or justification or pain was involved, the blood of the innocent is still sticky. It still drips across the pavement, scarring the sidewalk in red. It still hurts.
When Suguru would kill you, you’d force yourself to forgive him. You needed to die without regrets, because the pain of hatred builds up, you’ve seen it happen firsthand.
But now that you’re free, what Suguru did to you wasn't fair. Just because his innocence was taken away doesn’t give him the right to take the lives of others. It never gives anyone the right to murder. You keep telling yourself that this Suguru and that Suguru were different…but they weren’t. Not really. The look in their eyes matched perfectly.
He’d do it again, in the right conditions.
And yet.
You forgive Suguru.
You can’t judge him. If there is a God, maybe Suguru will have to pay for the crimes he committed all those timelines ago. You can’t save Suguru from that. But to you, the debt is paid.
Besides, you’re too tired to hate him. And you won’t allow yourself to fall into the same cycle he struggled to break free from.
You look into his eyes. Then, at his ring. You smile. 
And that's enough.
“I will,” you say, “I will.”
Then, as two parts of a whole, the two of you stare at the stars for a little while longer.
The reception was nice. A fancy dinner, you can’t remember the last time you ate something. The speeches were beautiful, especially Shoko’s. You swore you saw Nanami shed a tear, but you never said anything about it.
You saw a glimpse of white hair in the crowd before the first dance began. Stunning music. The couple must have practiced for months. Bride and Groom, husband and wife, held hands and looked at each other like they were the only ones in the room.
Megumi stood beside you, watching Ieiri and Geto sway to the music. As though the kid could sense him, Megumi’s serene face sours. You’re about to ask him what’s wrong when there’s a tap on your shoulder.
“Cute, huh?” Satoru starts, mentioning at the dance. “It didn’t look this put-together in the beginning. Shoko gave him a ton of bruises,” he says with a shit-eating grin.
You frown. “Shouldn’t you be doing something else than gossiping about your friends?”
“I am! I’m checking up on my son!” And then he turns to Fushiguru. “Megumi!”
“No.” Fushiguro instantly rebukes.
“Don’t mind him.” Satoru chides. “He’s going through an angst phase.” Fushiguro rolls his eyes, but he shifts just a tiny bit.
“Y’know, he was actually supposed to be the flower boy, but he refused. Such a shame, the pictures would’ve been something else.” Gojo sighed and now you’re convinced they aren’t father and son.
“That was never going to happen.” Fushiguro says, and as if he thinks you’re naive enough to believe Satoru, he glances at you. “Never.”
“Of course not.” You crack a smile.
You watch as Ieiri descends into a graceful spin, Geto taking the lead. When he tips her over, your eyes soften.
Gojo leans over; you can feel his breath in your ear.
“Next year.” He whispers. “For us, it’ll definetly be next year.”
You jerk away but he’s already skipping off, having the audacity to call out a cheerful ‘toodles’.
“What did he say?” Fushiguro questions.
That’s what you wanted to know, too, but you were so tired, and the night was so long, and you couldn’t bother to get out your Gojo translator and figure it out.
“The same stuff he always says. Nonsense.” You decide on. Fushiguro takes the answer.
“I don’t understand how he has all that energy.” You mutter, watching Satoru disappear through the crowd.
“I thought he’d get better with age, turns out I was wrong,” Fushiguro says.
“I wanted to ask,” you start, your eyes still on Ieiri and Geto, “how do you know Gojo? Aren’t you still in middle school?”
“Everyone knows Gojo. He’s pretty famous in the jujutsu world.” Fushiguro shrugs. “But personally...he’s my benefactor. Took me and my sister in when my parents left.”
You look at him. And you feel like an idiot.
He’s the spitting image of his father. Sharp cobalt eyes. Black hair. Fushiguro Toji is all over the young man.
Gojo Satoru, the one who killed the sorcerer killer, took care of his enemy’s children.
“What?” Fushiguro asks when you’re smiling
You shake your head. “No, no it’s nothing.”
Satoru told you that you’re the one who taught him about the importance of bonds. But you think he should take some of the credit too.
Eventually, everyone gets on the dancefloor.
It’s a mess. Absolute chaos. Panda and Inumaki are trying and failing to do the waltz. Maki and Okkuttso are lightly swaying to the music. They’ve managed to get Fushiguro up there too. Though, he doesn’t look extremely happy.
The adults are even worse. Apparently, the retired principal Yaga is a pretty good dancer. You think one of them found alcohol, because Haibara looks absolutely wasted. He’s swinging his arms around, almost hitting the other guests. Nanami is trying to get his attention, but the guy wants none of it. When Haibara catches your eye, he wildly waves in clear invitation.
You smile back, but you shake your head. You think he’s about to come up to you, but something else catches his eye, and he’s grinning at a very irrated-looking Iori.
You were sitting on a chair, just people-watching. It was a nice break from everything. To listen to the music, lightly tap your feet, play with the frill of your dress. You weren’t really in the mood to dance.
Besides, you weren’t technically invited here anyway. It’d be rude to just burst on the scene.
“There you are! Been looking all over for you!”
You don’t have to look over to see who it is. Satoru slumps down in a chair next to you.
“Greeny, you gotta’ do something about your cursed energy. It’s so weak. Like finding a needle in a haystack.”
“Thanks,” you say dryly.
“Always happy to help.” Satoru beams, and then he glances over at the floor.
“We’re dancing after this song, by the way.”
“Absolutely not.”
“It’s so cute you think you have a choice, Greeny.”
You frown. “There’s no point in calling me Greeny anymore. Unless you still don’t know my name.”
“I do, but it doesn’t matter,” Satoru says arrogantly. “You’ll always be my Greeny to me.”
You roll your eyes. Even now, he’s a brat. You thought all these years would mellow him down just a tiny bit.
“So,” you start, “are you done with your ‘best man shit’?”
“Yup.” He announces. “Now, I can sit back and enjoy the show.”
You smile, but you can still feel the butterflies in your stomach. He’s been running around so far and it’s given you time. Now, that he’s free, it means you two have to talk.
And you aren’t sure if you truly want to.
You flex your fingers.
“Um, how have you—”
“Stop.” Satoru interrupts. “Let’s not make this awful, Greeny.”
You nod immediately, relaxing. His voice gets softer, after that.
“I’m glad you chose that color,” he says, “I was sorta’ hoping you would.”
You look down at the dress. A deep green. You hadn’t even thought about the color, the boutique lady had basically thrown it at you.
The shade of Satoru’s green tie matches your dress. You can feel your smile again. Typical.
“I’m glad I did too,” you honestly say. And then, you continue to fiddle with your fingers. Ultimately, you decide to just bite the bullet.
“I thought you’d be mad.” You finally say, words jittery and unfocused. “Angry at me for...for what I did.”
He’s silent, and you feared that it was all true. The laughs and the jabs were all a facade.
"I don’t think I was ever mad." He responds, staring into the crowd. "Hurt, yeah. Then, it faded into something that stung everytime I thought about it, and then...something else. And now, I know it's a waste to get mad because you're finally here now. With me." 
His tone pitches upwards as he reaches over to painfully pinch your cheek. 
"'Sides, I know you can't escape me anymore, Greeny," Satoru cheerfully says, "Now, I know your face, your name, and with little effort, I could probably find your address, your social security-" 
"Okay! Okay!" You pull away, rubbing your cheek. Damn, he's scary. "Threat acknowledged." 
"Good!" He straightens himself back up, and you find yourself slumping again.
“I am sorry, though,” you say, “for leaving like that. I...I always wished I could do that a bit differently. You deserved better.”
“Don’t do that.” He shakes his head. “Don’t blame yourself for only doing what you could. It eats at you, Greeny. It really does.” He sighs, leaning forward in his chair.
“You deserved better too,” he says back, voice barely above the music, “I always had some regrets about those years. I thought I could’ve done more to help you, back then.”
There it was again: selfishness, the urge to do good to others while retaining that greed. You supposed you taught him that.
You put your face in your hands.
“Even though, you dragged me here against my will, I feel so guilty being here.” You complain, hoping it’ll lighten the mood. “You should apologize to everyone because I crashed the party.”
Satoru scoffs. “What are you talking about? Everyone loves you!” He exclaims. “Look, Yu’s ecstatic. Riko won’t stop gushing about you; you even have Nanami’s approval! I don’t even have that!” You roll your eyes, sinking back in your seat.
“Besides, you needed to come. You needed to see it.”
“See what?” You ask.
“This.” He points to the venue, the ballroom full of glittery whites and sparkles.
“Look around, Greeny. Look at all the people you saved.”
Haibara and Riko are dancing together. Two dead children finally had the chance to grow up. Misato speaks to Nanami. Beautiful gray hair, eyes that aren’t so tired. Shoko sparkling in her dress, and Geto—
The same day he was supposed to die, Suguru was getting married.
“Thank you.” When you look at him, Satoru is staring right at you. His sea eyes give everything and more.
“Thank you for saving all of us.”
Your heart skips, then just stops completely. You can’t cry, you won’t not here, not on such a happy day. But your eyes are stinging. And Satoru is turning blurry.
And then, like Satoru always does, he ruins the moment.
"Did you just fall for me a little?"
His head tilts. That same mischievous, irritating smile lights up on his face.
You relax, laughing out of disbelief. When you speak, your voice is barely scratchy. "You're so full of yourself; it's actually a little cute." 
"You think I'm cute?" 
"Did you hear anything else that I just said?" 
"I heard you think I'm cute,” Satoru responds proudly, and you doubt he’d ever let you hear the end of it.
“And besides! Today is supposed to be a celebration for you too!” He exclaims.
“Oh really?”
“Yes,” Satoru says proudly, “you did it! You became a fully-fledged sorcerer. Considering your low CE, you might pass as grade four, but when I talk to our new principal, I’m sure he’ll make things right. Get ready to join be and him in the big leagues.”
You could read between the lines. Satoru wanted to tell everyone. You think a while ago, you might have agreed, but...
“Can...Can I quit being a sorcerer?” You ask. “I’m tired.”
He takes a second. Some of you wonders if he’ll try to talk you out of this. It’s more beneficial for him if you stay as an asset to the jujutsu world. How many people’s lives will be saved by a technique like yours? To be able to go back in time again and again and again. To die again and again and again.
“Someone once told me that it’s okay to be selfish every once in a while.” Satoru looks at you, eyes like lilies once again. “I won’t fault you for it. I don’t think anyone will.”
When you try to smile, it feels wobbly.
“That person sounds smart.”
“Nah.” He grins. “An idiot, actually. Way too oblivious.”
You laugh, despite the insult.
“Quit,” Satoru says when it’s quiet again, “do whatever you want. But...you can’t run away, okay? I won’t let you.”
It’s barely a touch. His hand reaches for your fingers. You’re the one who grabs it.
“I won’t.” You promise. “I won’t.”
He’s satisfied with that. You can tell when he squeezes your hand back.
You look at him, and you decide you won't tell Satoru what happened in the last timeline.
There's no point. It wouldn't do anything but shatter everything he worked so hard to make. Why would you break the glass when you could just add concrete, make it stronger? You saved everyone. A few white lies here and there just keep this future safe.
And you know this Satoru. If you told him, he'd carry that burden with you like the soldier he was. You don't want him to do that. You don't want him to have the same look you see in your own face. One last sacrifice.
When you come back, Satoru is shifting in his seat, uncrossing his legs.
“So...about that dance?”
“Ugh, fine.” You stand up. “One dance. And if you do anything embarrassing, I’m leaving.”
“Clearly, you don’t know me as well as you think you do.” He grins, standing up himself.
He doesn’t release your hand for the rest of the night.
You don’t mind.
(When you disappear again, Maki’s the one who finds you.
By then, it’d been long into the night. Shoko and Suguru were already gone, off to their honeymoon in the Maldives. Riko, Misato, and most of the students were sleeping off the night. Maki, his most diligent student, was helping the remaining adults pack up the venue.
She’s dragging chairs away when she grunts in Satoru’ direction.
“By the way, your date’s sleeping outside.”
Ah, you were on the balcony. No wonder he couldn’t find you. Satoru needed to do something about your cursed energy. What’s the point of having six eyes when he can’t even find the one person who’s evaded him for a decade?
You’ve completely passed out. Slumped over on a chair, head bent at an angle that could not be comfortable. Satoru knows he should feel bad. He dragged you around the entire night like a ragdoll. This was partially his fault.
He can’t really blame himself, not when you were finally here.
It still feels like a dream. Being able to hear your voice, not Suguru’s, not Yu’s. Your touch. Your eyes. Your face. Your laugh. For years, he’s wondered what it sounded like.
Reality beat even his perfect daydreams.
Seeing you up there on the Tokyo Skytree. The wind pushing your hair back and forth. It was breathtaking.
Even the lights of Tokyo, couldn’t compare to you.
He leans down, lips at your ear, voice low because he’s too prideful to let anyone else hear, not even you.
“I know it’s too late, but you looked really pretty tonight.”
You say nothing, but you shift, murmur something in your sleep. It’s all he needs.
He ditches the clean up party, taking you within his arms. He thinks he says something to Yu, but Satoru doesn’t really care if he heard. Right now, he only has one priority.
Tonight, he’ll sleep on the hotel’s pull-out sofa while you snooze in the luxurious queen-sized bed. You’ll probably be mad in the morning, something about how you should’ve taken the couch, but he doesn’t mind your mindless acts of selflessness.
He’s waited a decade. He deserves to keep you.
And he knows you won’t fault him for being selfish one more time.)
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