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#but this is what is in my sick and twisted mind rn
astrocarbon · 11 months
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What are your favorite subjects/fields in astrophysics? I like high energy astrophysics and agns right now :3
exoplanets! black holes and cosmology scare me to death! teehee
my phd program (which I'll start next year) has loads of funding available for spectroscopic analysis of exoplanets and the direct imaging of exoplanets, so i'll definitely be exploring those areas. gotta follow the money ya know. but i also want to explore astrobiology.
a year ago i would've said i'm "anti-habitability". i turned my nose up at astrobiology, just like the professor i idolized for his intelligence (he turned out to be a bit of a jerk, unsurprisingly). i thought astrobio was too theoretical, too handwavey. and a secret third thing i don't know how to convey well with words. popsci-y? mainstream? from those around me, i had adopted the notion that astrobio was the thing you said you wanted to do if you weren't smart enough to do the heavy technical work with hot jupiters or stellar interiors. it was the naive dream of kids who would end up switching out of astrophysics because they couldn't keep up.
but in my gap year, in a country where astrophysics isn't really a thing, i've found myself talking about astrobiology more and more. it helps me relate to people across a bunch of different fields because it forces discussions about how we do science in the first place. how do our prior beliefs play into how we design our experiments and proposals, and therefore determine what we are able to find?
im finding that i enjoy these discussions. astrobiology is not just a combination of astronomy and biology. at risk of being annoying, it's reconciling with the fact we are trying to find extraterrestrial life with limited resources in a society run by politicians, religion, and capitalism
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s1utlvr · 7 months
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Feather 𓆰
synopsis: you go to a party hoping to get over your ex boyfriend and leave lighter like a feather with someone else on your mind
a/n: hihi another clarrise x reader smau but like actual drama and plot??? Anyways you and luke breakup but you have an on and off thing w clarisse going on blah blah Warning just implied stuff no smut vulgar language blah blah read it or don’t
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liked by y/n.y/n and others
c.larue_ you came with her, but she might leave with me 🤷‍♀️
y/n.y/n drooling rn
c.larue don’t say that unless you wanna make out
y/n.y/n what if I do?
c.larue you know where to find me
seaweedbrain wtf @lukecastellan_
lukecastellan_ not my problem
youdontknowme1 added to their story
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DIRECT MESSAGES
y/n.y/n: you look really pretty
c.larue: stop it
y/n.y/n: stop what?
c.larue: I don’t wanna get dragged into your relationship issues especially if you’re just trying to hook up
y/n.y/n: who says I’m just trying to hook up?
y/n.y/n: I told you we’re over
c.larue: you tell him that?
y.n/y.n: Please Clar I want YOU
rachel.e.dare added to their story
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DIRECT MESSAGES
lukecastellan_: tell me you have some self respect
y/n.y/n: ???
lukecastellan_: you didn’t actually hook up wirh clarisse did you?
y/n.y/n: not your problem remember??
lukecastellan_ you fucking slut
y.n/y.n: oh but when Silenas all over your dick it’s fine??
lukecastellan_: shes my friend
lukecastellan_: so how about you hop off mine?
y/n.y/n: if that’s what you do with your friends I’m glad we’re done
y.n/y.n added to their story
♪ Tummy hurts by Renee Rap (ft Coco Jones)
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xosilena added to their story
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DIRECT MESSAGES
c.larue: did you see what she posted
y/n.y/n: I’m gonna be sick
y/n.y/n: I’m actually gonna be sick
y/n.y/n: SHE IS SO FUCKED
c.larue: I thought you were over
y/n.y/n: believe me I hate his guts we are but it’s so fucking twisted that he’s already got her whipped
y/n.y/n: that fucking asshole
c.larue: so what are YOU doing?
y/n.y/n: see it’s different I like you I’m not just looking for someone else to manipulate
c.larue: so you do like me
y/n.y/n: we’ve established this yes
c.larue: you busy?
y/n.y/n added to their story
♪ Bloodline by Ariana Grande
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liked by wisegirl,dariaaj and others
y/n.y/n got me feeling so incredible……would you mind maybe linking?
dariaaj MY PRETTY GIRLS <333
y/n.y/n TY LOVE <33
c.larue my gorgeous girl
xosilena oh
y/n.y/n why don’t you go break Luke’s heart for me?
DIRECT MESSAGES
lukecastellan_: you look good
lukecastellan_: look I’m sorry
lukecastellan_: you know I don’t really like Silena
lukecastellan_: let’s just admit that neither of us wanted to break up
y/n.y/n_: you are so delusional
you have blocked lukecastellan_ and any accounts they may have or create in the future.
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Slashers with an S/O who has a Dragon Dido
Note: Had this idea brewing in my brain, so I decided to write about it.
Not sponsored by Bad Dragon
Synopsis: Reader asked Slashers if they wanted to experiment with their Sex toy
Minors DNI Reader is GN
Michael myers (both 78 and RZ), Jason Voorhees, The Sinclair Twins, Brahms Heelshire, Corey Cunningham
Michael Myers OG
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When Michael found out you have a sex toy that's big and looks not human, he has questions about it
You explain what it is and how it works
It's a Dragon what now?
People make those and in the size you own?
When you ask if he can use it on you, he got a little offended
Why have that when you can have the real thing (even tho it's not that big like the toy)
With much convincing, he obligated to do some role play
You go down on your toy, your boyfriend has strap on to himself
He's enthusiastic about seeing how far you can deep thoat it before choking on it
He doesn't have to cum without holding, the toy can do that by his hand
Pounding into you seeing the bulge in your stomach produced by your dragon dildo is a site to behold
He's the Dragonoid, and you're his human mate of this role play
When it's decided you came enough, he makes your Toy cum. Pulling out your see his "seed" leave your engorged hole
Now he wants to do it again another day
Michael myers RZ
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You sick minded person you are
How does that thing even fit??
You want me to do what?? Don't we do that normally?
Michael needs some time before he's ready to put it on for some fun
When the time comes, he's looking Ok with the strap-on.
🎶Big guy with a big Dragon Dick🎶 😂
Michael is going to be careful about this, still wondering if this whole toy is going to fit
But once it starts, it's going well. You're moaning from pleasure from the thrusting he's doing.
Once you start to asking for him to cum, he doesn't obligated cause he wants to go a bit little longer
Eventually, Michael simulates the dildo cumming pushing the syringe plunger, filling you up with the "Seed"
Pulling out afterwards, the cum lube flowed out of you, giving you a head tilted from the site. Pressing your stomach to watch more flow out
Definitely want to do it again rn
Jason Voorhees
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Oh God Your Going to give Poor Boy a Heart Attack when you show him it
Jason has so many questions
How did you get it? Do people use these things? It can do what?
Jason is going to nearly a month or 2 before he puts on cockzilla
When the time comes when he's comfortable with the idea
Poor Boy is blushing from seeing the colorful dick fit on his big body
Being extremely careful with you
Putting it halfway in so he's not hurting you he starts out slow
Once the pace picks up, he pushes the whole Dildo in. Causing a bulge to form
Poor Boy came himself in his boxers from the friction
You comfort him from his accidentally mess he did. Afterwards, he went to clean up
Next time, he's going to be careful when role-playing
Bo Sinclair
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What in God's green earth did he find in the bag in the shared closet?
When you came home, he had to ask about the Elephant or in case Dragon in the room
"A Dragon Cock? I didn't know you're that Twisted in the head, Darling."
This Cocky A-hole would definitely want to jump into this role play with the new toy
Trying to fully deep throat with it, nearly hurl from the gaging
Taking you behind with this bad boy
"That's right, take it, darling."
He makes you cum so much your overwhelmed
Releasing the "cum" from the syringe into you
He may want to get peg by that now to spicy up your relationship
Vincent Sinclair
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Oh my God, what's in the Box??!!
Vincent is definitely a Dragon fan, and the fact you gotten a Dragon Dildo he's definitely red under his mask cause he wants to try it
Definitely work you up before pushing it in
Thursting the whole 8 inches of this Dragon Dick and going to town with you
Vincent was having fun watching you squirm around this big fake cock as he fucks you
Thinking it's enough for this, he released the "cum" into your hole before pulling out
Just watching the "seed" drip down from the expanded hole just makes him want to do it again
Could you do it to him another day?
Brahms Heelshire
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What on earth are you using??
His eyes are wide behind that mask, seeing the large thing you're riding
Next time, his stinky wall ass comes out he's going to ask about what you have. First, he's going to be scolded for being a Pervert for watching you, then second, you're going to have to explain what it id
"Aren't Dragons supposed to be slayed, not something in the bedroom?"
You explain that people get these types of toys of different types for pleasure
You asked if he would like to use it on you if he's comfortable about it
The next night, he was lying on the bed strapped up, woty the big dicky pushing the plunger of the syringe some "cum" oozed out of the tip spooking him
You started out on giving some oral play on toy, giving your partner a subductive look while he just watched with red in his cheeks for the site
You started to ride on your dragon dildo while he watches you bounce on your toy.
After a while, he was pounding from behind before releasing the "cum" into you, it leaked from in between your hole and cock dripped onto the sheets
Brahms would like to do this again another time
Corey Cunningham (He's Adorable Fight Me! And this is a what if Corey became a Hero in Halloween Ends)
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Oh poor baby saw the box on the counter and had a peek before turning away with an embarrassment on his face
You had to calm him down before explaining what you have and explain that people are getting to spice up. Corey was sheltered by his mother about the subject of Sex and toys
Corey would need a confidence boost before he decides to do the hanky panky with you
After becoming comfortable about having sex with you and about the "you know what" that's in your closet atm
Corey strapped up with the 9 inch Gradient Dragon Dick with the tube leading to a syringe full halfway of the "cum"
Start out slow, not putting it in fully being careful with you
Getting more into it and started to pick up the pace. Corey started to pound into you harder, having the bulge poking up from the dildo
Telling Corey to cum into you which he muched obligated, pushing all of the "cum" from the syringe into you
Would definitely want to it again another day
=======================
That's all
Again I'm Not Sponsored by Bad Dragon
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perfectlypreservedpie · 4 months
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MacCready Fanfiction Recs (Fallout 4)
hey everybody, nobody asked for this but in the midst of writing fallout fanfic I was feeling a special kind of love for my favorite fo4 fanfics and wanted to recommend them in case you hadn't read 'em. Because they are VERY GOOD and writing fanfic is hard, so you gotta give props to those who sweat for your comfort fics.
I'm gonna recommend my top three finished fanfics, and then two more bonus fics that are being updated rn. As a clarifier, these are all Maccready fallout 4 fics. so. keep that in mind.
im tagging the authors and also anybody who wants to join and share their favorites too!
3. THE FATHER(S) AND THE SON(S) on ao3 by @sirmanmister
I'm going to preface this rec by saying this: there is Fanon MacCready. There is canon MacCready. And then there is ascended!whatBethesdawishesitWAS MacCready, which exists solely in this fanfiction. The characterization of Mac is so well written. He is snarky, he is vulnerable. He desperately wants to grow up but doesn't know how. He has the most sick character arc in this story!!!
It's not a romance but instead a coming of age story where the sole survivor becomes a de-facto parent to Mac. The heart of the story is about how to raise a child while you're still trying to grow up yourself. The apocalypse setting lends itself well because the Wasteland is a place where NOTHING is beautiful, but the way that M!Sosu and MacCready care for their sons is beautiful. Which makes it special and worth fighting for.
As a fun fact, I read The Road by Cormac McCarthy for class a week after finishing this fic and I was thinking about this fic the whole time because the themes of fatherhood during an apocalypse hit a lot of the same beats. Maybe my professor would kick me in the teeth by comparing fic to McCarthy, but @sirmanmister YOU ARE MY CORMAC MCCARTHY <3
2. WORKING CLASS HERO on ao3 by @bluegrasskitty
This is the kind of fic you take with you to toilet, to work, in-between classes. It will suck you in. AND THERE'S A SEQUEL TOO YOU GUYS‼️
The sole survivor in this story is the model for the Nuka Cola girl. You know the hot lady in the spacesuit? SHE HAS A BACKSTORY. AND YALL IT MADE ME WEEP. During some point of the story, I sort of stopped rooting for MacCready to be the narrator and just wanted Nora Cabot to take the reins. When I tell you I think of this oc every two to three business weeks. She's an incredible leading lady. I can't look at Nuka Girl posters in the game without thinking of Nora Cabot, my beloved.
the sequel IS SO FIRE. It's the best reimagining of 'what happened after the institute blew up' that I've ever read. im gnawing at the bars of my enclosure actually.
A VERY GOOD PLOT TWIST I CANNOT MENTION TO NEW READERS BUT IF YOU'VE READ IT YOU'LL UNDERSTAND. AND IF YOU UNDERSTAND DM ME I HAVE TO TALK TO SOMEBODY ABOUT IT. HHh.
The amount of world building that @bluegrasskitty puts into this story is insane. They ARE Beth Esda.
As a fun fact, I didn't know that radchickens were canon in fallout. I thought it was a plot device made up by this author to excuse the ability to make cake in this book, but radchickens ARE real. When I was playing Far Harbor last year, I found radchickens and thought that @bluegrasskitty manifested them into existence because they had that kind of power.
that being said, I still think this author has that kind of power.
1. Atom Bomb Baby on ao3 by @starlightwrites
I think you dropped something....my jaw.
fellas. fellas. this is my comfort fic. You ever had a comfort fic? Something you come back to at least once a year to reread to feel something? the fiction equivalent of chicken noodle soup? this is what Atom Bomb Baby is to me. this is peak literature actually. if I ever figure out book binding, im doing this one first.
Plot wise, it's a retelling of Fallout 4's main story through the perspective of MacCready. But (and im wheezing as I say this) it's also so much more THAN THAT.
this fic author understands that MacCready is not a womanizer but is in fact a touch starved loser. and they are CORRECT.
MacCready spends the entire fic like 'uuuhhhh I dunno about this one, boss!'
ITS BEST FRIENDS TO LOVERS RAHHHHHH
it also has a nostalgia feel to me too, because reading it gives me the same feeling as what it was like to play the game for the first time, years ago. maybe it's because I've read it so many times over the years, but reading it feels so satisfying.
The author spends 10 chapters at the end solely dedicated to an epilogue. I wish more stories did this. They go through the wringer in this story, and it's so deeply satisfying to see how cleanly everything gets wrapped up. MacCready and the Lola work really well together as a couple, so it's awesome to see how they work together after the battle is done.
6 out of 5 stars.
BONUS FICS !! aka fics that are still updating! I squeal with joy when I get an ao3 email about these: 1. Best Laid Plans on ao3 by @druidgroves - Georgia Tate is an incredible character and sole survivor! She was a teacher prewar, so it's really fun to get her perspective on the world. She cares a lot about education and libraries and I find her really relatable and endearing. It's a cool thing for a character in an apocalypse to care about! It also makes for fun tension with Mac, who's written as a pragmatic survivor. A great take on familiar characters and their dynamics. - And It's a great slow burn! I'm really enjoying reading it. 2. Long Time Running on ao3 by @twosides--samecoin - If you've ever thought that Med-Tek was too convenient an option for Duncan's cure, this fic was written with you in mind. - RJ goes to Canada and im obsessed with it. - If you're interested in fallout lore, specifically the bit where the U.S annexed Canada and wished that there was more info about that, I would highly recommend this fic. Twosides--samecoin put in THE WORK. The world building they do to explain Canada's side of the Great War is so fun!!! its genuinely such a thrill to read!
I'm tagging the authors who I mentioned, if you all have favorite fics (fallout or otherwise, I'd love to hear em!) Thank you for making good art!
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sweetlummie · 7 months
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Sad Little Girl
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Mood board by my lovey love @iamasaddie tysm 💗
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Joel Miller x fem!plus size!reader
A/n: hello everyone! I’m back with an actual fic! This one is near and dear to my heart and very personal to me, I hope you enjoy it! Big s/o to @xdaddysprincessxx for proofreading! Ilysm mama 💗💗💗 This fic was made with game!joel in mind! As always constructive criticism is welcome! Enjoy! Likes, comments, and reblogs are appreciated! 🫶🫶💗💗 (reupload to see if it shows on tags bc tumblr is fucking me hardcore rn.)
Warnings: mentions of SA and heavy trauma, age gap (reader is in her 20s Joel is in his 50s), death of a loved one, also David is mentioned. If I missed any lmk!
W/c: 1.5k
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Growing up during the apocalypse wasn’t fun. There were many horrible, disgusting men that would do whatever they wanted. The need to survive set aside, they fucked with other people, especially women to get their twisted pleasure. You had fallen victim to that terrible abuse, but out of some sick and twisted mercy the most that had been done to you was being touched inappropriately and had a man expose himself to you. Worst of all? It was in your own home.
Your dad was a part of the smuggling circle and would often have his colleagues over to discuss routes, plans, and merchandise. One of his least trusted associates was the one that tortured you to no end. Because of that you didn’t feel like yourself, you didn’t feel like a girl. As the days passed you wore baggier clothing, you cut your hair to your shoulders, you bound your chest to get rid of any semblance to a woman. What also helped was that you were bigger than the average girl, you thought that maybe you looked broader, more like a male. This was how you coped, how you pushed everyone away.
When you found out your father died it was like a bucket of cold water to your skin. You didn’t know what you were gonna do or how you were gonna get by. A few days after you received the news about your father, there was a knock on your apartment door. Grabbing one of your father’s weapons you hesitantly opened it to find Joel Miller, your dad’s most trusted acquaintance. You lower your weapon and stepped aside to let him in.
“Hey bunny..” Joel began, you never understood why he called you that, based on your appearance you were nothing like a bunny. Not cute, not soft, not friendly.. You were the opposite. “Sorry ‘bout your dad.. Look, your pa on one occasion told me that if anythin’ were ta happen to ‘im for me to take care of ya.. Now I know you're a grown woman that can make her own decisions and take care of herself but I still wanted to offer ya a place to stay.. I know how awful solitude can be and I really care ‘bout ya..”
You had to process what he was telling you but you liked Joel, though you had some very negative interactions with men in the past, he was the only one you trusted aside from your father. You nodded your head in agreement and as the days and weeks progressed you moved your things little by little to his and Tess’ apartment.
You kept to yourself most of the time, mostly passing your time by drawing, reading, or listening to music when you didn’t work. Tess and Joel would sometimes let you go with them to their smuggling jobs but Joel would keep you close.
Joel noticed something was up with you, he noticed your change from the beginning. While your father thought nothing of it he noticed when his cheery-eyed bunny lost the spark in her eyes and became dull. He wanted to talk to your father about it but he felt like it wasn’t his place to say anything. He noticed how you presented yourself, manlier than you used to be and more quiet. Now this change he mentioned to your father.
“Hey man, I noticed somethin’ up with bunny.. Why she dressin’ like that suddenly? Seems like a drastic change..”
But your dad always brushed it off saying it was a phase that you were going through but Joel knew it was more than that.
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It had been a few months that you had been staying with Joel and Tess when one day after Joel and Tess went after Robert, Joel came back with a 14 year old girl named Ellie. You looked at Joel surprised and he pulled you aside to a room to talk about what was happening. He and Tess were going to deliver this girl to the fireflies at the capital and it wasn’t going to take them long.
“I wanna come.” you told Joel, he shook his head “Nah, just me ‘n Tess.. Too dangerous..” That answer didn’t satisfy you. “I’m coming with you. Whether you like it or not.” and you left to go where Ellie was. Joel chuckled lowly and shook his head again, he knew better than to argue with you, you were a little spitfire, just like your dad.
When your journey began you kept to yourself and only spoke if you heard something or needed something. Ellie tried to talk to you but you would only respond with a nod or a shake.
“What’s up with her.. Him? Nah her?” she asked Tess and Tess chuckled. “I don’t know, kid, she’s a nice lady, just quiet is all.” Joel took that chance to check up on you.
“Ya alright? Need anythin’?” you shook your head and Joel left you be.
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Your trip had gone sour, Tess was dead and now you were on route to Lincoln. Tess’ death hit you hard but you know you have to be strong for both Ellie and Joel. After you had all processed her death you figured it would be best to open up now since it was only the three of you left. You began talking more and found that you shared a lot of things in common with Ellie. You two became quickly attached and while Joel did his best to ignore you both, being the ever stoic and grumpy man he is, he was still really happy that you opened up.
Little by little Joel noticed a positive change in you, the sparkle in your eyes was slowly returning and now you openly were conversing and laughing with both Joel and Ellie. Your progress was quickly squandered though when Joel got hurt and by events with David, a creepy school teacher turned psycho cult leader. You took care of Joel while weeping silently, you were scared you were gonna lose the man you trusted, the man you felt safe with. You know you should’ve gone hunting, you know what happened with Ellie is your fault. You both scrambled as you tried to lead David and his men as far away from Joel as possible. But in the end you both got caught. You and Ellie were held in different areas but you panicked as you saw the disgusting look in his eyes. You knew exactly what he wanted to do with you and especially Ellie.
After what happened with Ellie it triggered your PTSD and you just held Ellie as you both wept. You both had been fairly quiet on the trip to the hospital. It killed Joel to not just see one of his girls be quiet and devoid of life but both of them. Especially since you had come such a long way.
That night when Ellie slept he approached you and asked if you both could talk. You agreed and followed him a little away from the camp not to disturb Ellie’s sleep but still keeping a close eye on her.
“Bunny… I’m sorry ‘bout what happened.. you ‘n Ellie didn’t deserve that.. I shoulda been there to protect y’all..” of course Joel blamed himself when it wasn’t his fault at all.. with a sigh you begin to speak. “It’s not your fault Joel.. it’s mine.. I should’ve been more careful towards Ellie.. she.. we..” you burst out crying and for once you felt the warm embrace of someone who loved you. You would cry by yourself at nights, not wanting to disturb your dad with your seemingly insignificant issues.. but for once you cry and you just get held.. you craved that more than anything else.. as much as it pained you, you told Joel everything that happened in the QZ for years before your father died.. he clenched his jaw and held you tighter..
“I wish ya woulda said somethin’ bunny.. never liked that freak anyway.. woulda killed ‘em for ya..” Joel whispers as his lips pressed into your hair. You chuckled and just let the tears fall. It felt good to get it off your chest, to let Joel in.. you felt safe, you felt secure in his arms.
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When you return to Jackson, you’re a whole new person. You and Joel live together in a house while Ellie lives in her shed. You’ve begun to let your hair grow out again, decorating it with cute hair accessories you would find, you’re wearing pretty, fitting clothing, even dresses! Joel sees how brightly you’re shining. No longer are you the shy quiet girl that people assumed was a brute boy. You changed totally. You were truly beautiful in his eyes. You were thankful for Joel, he made you feel safe, he made you feel true peace. Enough to where you felt like you didn’t have to protect yourself anymore, enough to where you could finally be yourself and not worry about getting hurt. He would protect you, he would be there for you. You were his bunny, you finally felt at home.
* ・‥…━━━━━━━ *˖◛⁺♡ ━━━━━━━…‥・
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1-800-cr33py · 1 year
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Forelsket
(n) the euphoria experience when you first fall in love 
Okay so its not the best, Benadryl making life hard rn TvT
Word count: 3400
TW: It’s HABIT cmon nw, dubcon, he kinda breaks in????? Dom/sub undertones but never stated outright, breeding kind kinda, my bad writing while im sick.
Haven’t wrote smut for a while so this will probably be re-written when Im in my right mind
The taste of you was heavy on his tongue, so much so that every word, every breath was you, and only you. 
Balance. That's what the universe needs, enforced. A never-ending balance that no one, not ever the strongest or oldest of Entities challenged. Where there was light, there shall be dark and vice versa. Habit hated it. He hated seeing people heal, he hated seeing a familiar iridescent form from the corner of his eye. It was a never ending cycle; Habit would bring some undeserved wrath to some poor mortal unfortunate enough to have caught his eye, or maybe it was his hatred for the Slender Man that that pushed him, but nonetheless he’d drag out some unnecessary,torturous game that only he finds entertaining, and there you’d be. When Habit was created, born of hate and trickery; you were also brought forth. A being of an oh so tender light that even he could only stare in a curious awe. You were his balance, always there to counteract whatever damage he’d done. Habit hated you for a while, avoiding you for the longest, trying to reverse whatever you did; and for a while those feelings were mutual. You, still young and naive, believed that this was some kind of sick punishment that you’d somehow earned yourself in the brief moments you’d met the creators. Fos, your creator, a being of an eternal, cold light, caressed your cheek and sent you on your way, giving you favored blessings and best wishes. You were a favorite, a purer being that they’d created to serve as a buffer; sometimes you’d wish you weren’t. Habits, well habits made you sick. He’d toy with mortals like he was a creator himself,a god. And you’d mess with him back all the same, pulling his horn like appendages, calling him out on his name; a constant back and forth you'd both soon tire of.
“ You think you’re so much better than I, don’t you, pretty? “ his voice, rough and condescending, questioned, his many eyes all gazing down at you. 
“ Of course I do, mutt. I am better. ‘ You hated this man, if he even was one. It didn’t matter how many times you changed your form, he’d always make it his mission to make you feel small, weak. You couldn’t take much more after the Dark Ages, too much suffering and not enough time to fix it. You, and your brethren failed for many, many years. Fos, in all their luminal glory, felt pity upon you all, and gave most of you the sanctuary you needed to regain the lost energy and strength you’d lost during the seemingly endless wars and revolutions. It had been 798 years to be exact, and many things changed since that day. Ligo Fos, as your kind had come to be called, were ridded of your old appearances, no matter the differencing in forms. The small, branch like ‘horns’ fell, and your skin became soft, many ranges of colors that still felt limiting. 
‘ We must cater to the mortals, my dear children. ‘ Fos's voice was caring, yet stern. The Creator willed it, so as dutiful servants you must obey, lest you want to be repurposed. It would be alright. 
Time skip
Ligos Fos, elusive creatures known to heal the sick and punish the guilty. Beings of a light so bright that only artists can gaze upon. All these titles boosted your ego. Mortals viewed anything they didn’t understand as a higher being. They viewed your blessings as some mystical power that was your own. Laughable. 
As the sun rose and fell, you spent your days following your hellish counterpart. Trailing behind him wherever he went, fixing his wrongs. It was the late 90s when he caught on. Habit would flick his eyes to your hidden location and smile a cruel,twisted smirk that had only gotten worse than you remember it. Habit had changed, he wasn't a twiggy, short thing made of the darkest ink anymore. He’d grown into what mortals called a ‘man’. He’d taken on a vessel of sorts. A human man, barely reaching 19 summers at this point. You had to admit, he would be attractive once he grew into his looks. This ‘highschool’ and ‘college’ would be stressful, and human hormones would fluctuate often. Habit, or Evan, as he’d been calling himself nowadays, was almost dog-like, always chasing down something he shouldn’t, getting overly excited, etc. etc. His antics were cute to you, making you forget that this wasn’t this Evan person, whoever he was. This was Habit, your Habit. The same creature that mocked you, pulled at your cheeks until they were sore, muddied your outerwear. You felt pity for whoever Evan was, because you knew well enough that he was gone, his body nothing more than a husk for Habit to use and bend until it broke. For three years you did this, slowly getting closer and closer to the thing you’d been made with. Forced a bond in which you didn’t know how to work with or use in any way. 
For the longest it was awkward to say the least. Habit wanted nothing more than to make your life a living hell, doing the most trivial things to irk your nerves for the sake of it. 
“ Your cheeks puff up when you get upset, pretty. Did I upset the pretty dove? Ruffle your feathers? “ he, Evan, all but cackled his rough hands cupping your jaw. You were sure you hated him, but even you, in all your prideful ways, had to admit he was attractive. You scoffed at his statement, retreating out the door, your feet stomping angrily. He’d never let you live this down. Habit would call you brattish, daring you to object and ‘prove his point’; yet some part of you wanted that. A part of you that thought about the young man in facetious ways. Ways that would leave a damp spot in your panties. You suppressed these urges for the longest. Fos found it funny when you consulted them, thinking you were defective, broken. One had to admit, you’ve always been a theatrical type. Fos explained you were mature now, one of the first of their creations to fully mature actually; something that had you preening for a while. Fos sent you back to the mortal realm, with no instructions other than to get used to these urges, for they wouldn’t end now that they’ve started. And stars above they weren't wrong about that one bit. During the early months of spring you suffered. Your lower abdomen ached and your fingers didn’t provide you the relief you needed. After you found out about toys, they only satisfied you for about a year in total. By now, your ‘heats’ had begun to hurt progressively more. 
  ➞break
Habit knew something felt wrong. He felt something gnawing at the pit of his stomach, or a nagging voice in the back of the endless void he called a mind. Then it clicked for him. It was the turning of the seasons. Spring was approaching and he’d forgotten about it.. Habit mentally cursed himself. Quickly bringing the phone to cancel any and all plans or work he may have had the next week and a half. Sure his pockets would hurt for a while but he’d manage. After the first few days he began to feel the effects of his upcoming rut, and something told him it would be bad. His urge to nest and hoard was already something when he wasn’t being pumped full of unwanted hormones, but now? Now he’d be growling at air if he felt his space was being threatened. He’d spend his days shirtless, a pair of sweatpants hung loosely around his waist; a thin layer of sweat covered his body as he fanned himself. Habit’s house was on the verge of freezing, yet he still panted like a dog. What made it so much worse was that his cock ached, the tip a hot red now from past abuse and Habit still wasn’t satisfied. By now he was pushing 21 summers, well the vessel was anyways;  many of the entities Habit had familiarized himself with in the past now sired many cherub faced cambions, hell, a good many knocked up the Ligos they’d been balanced with when they were created alongside. One acquaintance spoke of how pretty her Ligos looked underneath her. Habit’s mind slowly drifted towards the idea of you, and how you’d look beneath his, whining and begging for him to fuck his cum back into your soaked hole, or maybe you’d beg him to stop, tell him you hated him and that he was lucky to even be this close to you in the first place. Habit laughed at the last thought, his cock twitched as he palmed himself through his pants. He’d have you. He needed to have the pleasure of seeing such an elusive, prideful creature reduced to a whimpering, blubbering mess below him, your voice cracking and begging for him to slow down, begging him to breed you. The mere thought of shooting his cum down your sopping hole made a guttural groan leave his throat as he continued to palm himself through his sweatpants. He ached for you, longed for you.
       -with you-
The empty feeling in your stomach was enough to make you whine. As much as you adored your Creator, they did little to help ease the tightness. Your hand was buried between your thighs, fingers soaked with your cum, and yet it still wasn’t enough. You needed something more than just your fingers and toys; you’d brought yourself to orgasm after fucking orgasm and yet you still felt wrong. Your body was slick with sweat at this point, the scent of sex heavy in the air around you. As you bit on the now clipped fingernail, listening to the rain outside the small glass window, sometimes you’d like to think that your savior would waltz out of the treeline to solve all your problems; you’d laugh at the childish thoughts then. Now you wish they would. You continued your daydreaming, oblivious to the creaking floorboards. You smelt him before you saw him. He smelt like teakwood and fire; he smelt like home, safety. 
‘ Habit. ‘ your voice croaked, hoarse from the screaming and whining you’ve done. Habit laughed, his voice gravelly as he continued. 
‘ So this is what my little starlight does in her freetime? Stuffing her cunt like whore? ‘ 
Habit laughed as he kicked himself off the doorframe to stalk closer to your now shaking body. You weren’t scared, but the anticipation, the adrenaline. You could taste it, it was addicting, for once in your life you allowed yourself to become addicted to it. Dark eyes raked across your body, taking note of how your nightwear clung to your sweat covered skin. You looked absolutely delectable like this, and you didn’t even know. Habit was an impatient being already, but what little patience he had left was thinning, the last string so close to popping before he allowed those urges he’d taken so long to suppress. The scent of sex made Habit lick his lips as he crawled atop you, muscles tense as his hands pulled at your sheets. Habit trailed open mouthed kissed down your neck and throat, leaving a trail of bites in his wake, hickeys would be a pain in the ass to cover tomorrow, but you didn’t care. You didn’t care about the past resentment you had for this man, you didn’t care about the past teasing, arguments. Anything. All that mattered right now was him. 
Then he stopped, and gods above you wanted to tear his throat out. 
“ Tell me to stop dove. “ Habit’s voice was hushed, raspy even. He wanted you to tell him to stop, tell him to go fuck himself, find some cheap whore he could dispose of after he was done with them. He wanted you to tell him to go to hell, you weren’t like him, but yet here you were, shoving your head to the side, begging him not to stop. Your thighs pushed apart to fit his body against yours. To Habit, you didn’t want him to stop, no you wanted him to ruin you for anyone else, to leave an imprint of himself on your soul. A guttural growl left Habit’s throat as he bit down on your throat, a hand moving to grip your jaw. 
“ I told you to do something starlight, " the man spoke through gritted teeth, a cruel smile etching its way onto his face. Your eyes locked with his, dark eyes a flurry of emotions. Lust. Need. Somethings else you couldn’t name. To think you’re relearning each other after so long apart, and yet he still remembered which parts made you weak. A smile etched itself on your features just when you settled your hand against Habit’s that still lay resting on your jaw. When you turned your head to gently kiss his palm. 
“ If I wanted you to stop, I would've made you a while ago, Habit. '' your voice was muffled in his palm. “ And right now, I want you to ruin me. “ Habit’s eyes darkened at your words, pulling your hips closer to his, you almost whined at the feeling of his cock through the material of his pants. Habit’s lips were heavy against yours as he dragged his hands down your body, pawing at any exposed flesh he could feel, your soft nightwear being pushed out of the way for his preying hands to feel for more. You felt whole. His touch was electric, leaving sparks wherever his hands found sanctuary. Habit liked toying with his prey, feeding off their fear, their tears; and you were no exception. He’d tease, he’d edge if that's what it took for you to break before him. How long would you last? How long before you were fucked dumb? To braindead to speak coherent sentences? He’d find out. He’d find out if it took him all night and the next day. Habit’s hand slowly found itself between your thighs, the damp spot in your panties making him chuckle. His lips found your throat once again as his fingers traced your slit, gathering up your slick on his fingers before pushing them into your soaked hole. A breathy whine leaving you lips, eyes closing as your head lolled back into your pillow. Habit’s pace was slow, his fingers curling deliciously at that spot that made you want to scream. He wanted you to beg, to put your pride aside and ask him for your release that you craved so desperately. Maybe he’d be nice, maybe he’d set aside his usual cruelty and sadistic want and just give you what you wanted for once! 
“ Fat chance, pretty! Tell me what I want and then you can cum.” Habit was a bastard, he wouldn’t give anybody anything for free, what made you any different. And you gave in. You begged, borderline screamed pleas for him to just let you come undone, the familiar tightness in your stomach threatening to pop; but he didn’t allow it. Habit pried his fingers from your cunt and brought them to his lip. The sight was erotic, taboo. Watching him lick your slick off his fingers made your thighs close, or at least attempt to. Habit groaned and threw his head back, eyes closed as the corners of his mouth made a lopsided grin. “ Gods you taste better than I imagine dove. “ he voiced his praise, your cheeks felt hot as you averted your eyes. “ Please…” a weak plea left your lips. It was almost laughable to Habit, you were throwing a tantrum all because he wouldn’t let you get off? Cute, but he’d be nice just this once. His cock was painfully hard at this point, the tip a burning red as he pulled his pants down just enough to free his member. Your mouth practically watered at the sight, but there’d be another time you’d get to suck him dry. Your panties had long since been discarded, the fabric laying in tattered shreds on your floor somewhere alongside the promise to buy you more. You squirmed, trying to find any friction you could but Habit’s firm hands kept you still, his fingers sure to leave bruises with his grip on your hips. “ No no pretty, tell me what you want. “ he chided, a sadistic grin on his face. His hair clung to his forehead, a sheen of sweat coating his body as his muscles tensed. He was holding back, waiting for those words to fall out of your mouth, and gods was it worth the wait. “ Please gods! Please just fuck me Habit! Use me! I don’t care just let me cum-” your sentence was cut short as Habit thrusted his cock into you without so much as a warning, tears pricking your eyes from the sudan intrusion. Something between a growl and groan left the man’s throat. Your warmth sucked him in. Habit gave you a brief moment to adjust before his pace was quickened, his grip on your hips bruising as your back arched. His intent was to breed you, mark your insides as his. You were his. His to hold, his to kiss, his to breed. The thought of you round with his children made his cock twitch. You’d be such a good mother, such a doting mate. Your sweet sounds filled his ears, urging him on. Habit was running on pure instinct at that moment, no words were spoken between you two, because they didn’t need to be. A hand left your hip to press on your stomach, a toothy smile on his face as he leaned down to kiss away the stray tears that fell from your eyes. You looked so pretty, all fucked out, dazed, and all from his cock. “ Aw is my little dove all fucked out? To dumb on cock to speak now? “ Habit cackled as he left soft slaps to your cheek, and all you could do was nod. Your brain long fried as he fucked his cock into you. Gargled pleas left your lips, yet you didn’t know what you were begging for at this point. For him to stop? Fuck you harder? He didn’t care, all Habit cared about was fucking you full of his kids. Habit groaned as your cunt squeezed his cock, a rough smack landed on your thigh making you jump. His dark eyes met yours as he hissed out a threat “ You better not fucking cum yet. Not until I say so. “. He left no room for objection, so all you could do was whine and take it, cunt fluttering around his cock as he mixed degrading words with his filthy praises. A high-pitched whine left your throat as you wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, digging your nails into his flesh and burying your face into his shoulder; your pleas falling on deaf ears. You begged, cried, pleaded for Habit to just let you cum, that you’d do anything. Habit’s voice was hoarse as he laughed, a grunt heaved from his throat. 
Your vision turned white as you came. It took a few moments to come back to your senses and even then they were fried. Everything felt fuzzy almost, hazy. Habit, panting and showering you with sloppy kisses and half-formed praises lay on top of you. His weight was nice, you felt protected and warm. “ You’ll be such a good little mate won’t you? “ he grinned, wiping the stray hairs from your forehead before planting a kiss on it. “ Such a good mother too? Maybe I’ll just keep you plugged so it takes? You’d like that wouldn’t you pretty? You want to make me happy don’t you? Yeah, you do. “ His voice was background noise to you at this point, but his words made you smile. You felt whole, full. No longer longing for something you couldn’t have or couldn’t reach. Habit hummed as he stroked your face, watching you doze every now and then. You’d keep him happy enough for now. And busy.
 “ Oh don’t think I’m done yet, starlight, I’m just gracious enough to give you a break! Say thank you, why don’t you? “ 
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gingerjolover · 10 months
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just a little preface to the naomi angst fic
it’s untitled rn but here’s y’all’s juice
Untitled Angst Fic - Preface
Naomi Mcpherson (MUNA) x reader (soft!gf coded)
(also im sure naomi is a great partner this is RPF don't come for meeeee)
“Naomi?” you call out, wrapping the bow on the baby shower present, smoothing your outfit out gently as you walk down the stairs not wanting to be late.
Naomi sits at their desk in the studio, still in the sweatpants they wore to bed, headphones on one ear working on a track.
“Naomi?” you say, wide eyes and jaw slacked, they’re not even remotely ready to leave the house. If you weren’t so annoyed, you’d kiss up their back to watch their muscles flex, or bite their bicep. But honestly, you wish you could throw something at the back of their head.
“What?” they ask turning around. They barely look at you before hitting you with a half-assed, “Oh, you look nice,” dismissively before turning back to the computer.
“You’ve got to be fucking kidding me,” you mutter, having had enough with their dismissiveness and forgetfulness. You know that MUNA has a deadline, in some twisted way you’re appreciative that Naomi is working at home. But for the last month, it’s been you talking and them not listening, worries getting dismissed, events being missed, showing up for them when they don’t show up for you… it’s all getting old. The ring on your finger feels heavy, like there’s something deeper happening.
“Where are you… hey? What’s wrong? Why’re you all pissy?” Naomi says, following you out of the office, frown on their face, annoyance laced on their features. “Why are you dressed up?” they ask dumbly.
Because of fucking course they forgot about the baby shower.
“Why aren’t you dressed?”
“Because I’m working?” Naomi responds, tone frustrated. “I’m working in my house, why do I need to be dressed?” they ask, tone starting to get mean.
“Your house?” you ask, crossing your arms, you can’t stop the hurt from crawling onto your features.
“Yeah, actually, my house… why do I need to get dressed to work in my house?” they say venomously.
This is how all of your conversations have been going recently, if you talk at all.
“You know what never mind, have a good day,” you say, grabbing a sweater and the gift, bidding farewell to the your sweet dog and cat.
“Why’re you being so sensitive? You’re mad because I said it’s my house? You moved in here with me?” they ask, hounding you as the follow you to the door, grabbing the edge when you open it to move towards the driveway. “What’s in the box?” they ask, holding the door open, the breeze from outside putting goosebumps on their bare torso.
You roll your eyes, getting into the car. As the engine turns over you see Naomi shut the door and jog out to your drivers side, motioning for you to roll the window down. “What?” you hiss, Naomi eyes widen, taken aback by your attitude.
“Woah babe, if you’re gonna be nasty I’ll just go inside.”
“Then go inside,” you say, finally done with this behavior, sick of feeling like you’re running laps around Naomi.
They glare at you gently, leaning down to kiss your cheek. “Text me when you get to wherever the fuck you’re going safely, yeah?” they say, almost like it’s a chore.
The kiss burns your cheek, and not in a good way. Naomi is staring at your face, waiting for your cheeks to flush, the best part about kissing your cheeks in their opinion.
Their eyebrows furrow when your cheeks don’t flush, in fact, your face doesn’t even change. They stand back from your window, crossing their arms to cover their bare chest and watch you pull out of the driveway.
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mossmotif · 1 year
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vampire!nanami is plaguing my mind rn. he gets bitten but doesnt even fully realize he's been turning into something a little farther from human for the past week.
he pins it down as some sort of overly punishing cold, a stomach bug working hard enough to have him call in sick from work for the very first time. all of a sudden his room is never dark enough and the pain in his neck is no longer throbbing; but he has to tell his boss to switch him over to the nightshift and there's something new building in his stomach, something that only grows at the sight of you.
at first, nanami would only rarely see you in the office, half asleep as you gathered the things at your desk and began to finally head home when coworkers were just beginning to settle in for the day. you're always slumped against the metal of the elevator, hardly able to keep yourself up in your brief moments of pause. he'd catch a glimpse of you before the doors would slide close, practically tipping over like a cut down tree.
now he and you somewhat share the same schedule. it's nauseating. a month into this and the proximity of the elevator is still too much to deal with. nanami had expected to adjust to this eventually, once he finally put two and two together and decided to address the odd sharpening of his teeth and senses. he isn't the type to let something like this get in the way of his life, so he heads to work, he gets things done, and he tries to remember to breath more evenly when he catches a particularly strong wave of whatever it is about you that drives him crazy.
nanami isn't one to lose his composure. there are other people in this office that work closely to him, that lean over him to point something out on his pc, that pat him on the back encouragingly when they see him making his first coffee of the night. not once does is he ever swallowed by the need to clutch these people in his hands and find out what's underneath their skin. sure, there's a curiosity, the natural type that he assumes comes with this sort of thing; but its one he's always been able to dismiss easily. blood can be substituted and he's more than content with that if it means he can continue living through life as normally as possible.
but there's a certain satisfaction that must be intimately tied into you, one that his body screams at him for trying dissolve. it's so juxtaposed from his normalcy that he isn't sure what to do with it.
he could change the timing of his leave from work, head into the elevator after you, but there's almost this unspoken routine now, and the last thing nanami needs is you thinking he's deliberately attempting to avoid you. although, a deeper, more twisted, part of him wants to maintain this small sample of you.
he eats, and tries to sleep, complains about work, reads when he finds the time, checks in with friends whenever they reach out, wears his reading glasses despite his vision getting better, and thinks about making plans to travel. these are small reasons for living, enough to keep him going. it wouldn't feel right to go about it any different way.
when you speak to him for the first time, the world feels like it's being violently torn apart.
the work day has ended for the both of you, dawn is much too close to rising and overtime is unfortunately a normalcy for you. you worked especially hard tonight. there's a bit of paleness to your skin and the whites of your eyes have been tinged pink. per usual, you're slightly slumped against the wall, hand brushing against the cold metal bar lining the thick panels.
he feels your eyes brushing over him tonight, they pause at his hands.
"was rain forecasted for today?" you ask. you're referencing the black umbrella in his hand.
"i have a long commute from here," he replies. which isn't a lie, but it isn't the whole truth either. today was forecasted to be incredibly sunny, not a cloud in sight.
your eyebrows raise, "you seem like the prepared type. that's a good thing." he doesn't know why you feel the need to clarify.
the doors open and nanami realizes his ears aren't ringing, rather it's just the intercom telling him his on the ground floor and that it was time to get off. you don't rush to leave him, no, you walk with him outside. you don't question why his umbrella is already open, though you do dare a glance up at the sky before eyeing him sneakily. the sun is rising and the streets are already busy with cars and people.
"rest well, nanami. and decent job at work today." you smile at him slightly, it's a bit tight at the corners. he wishes he could press the fatigue out of you.
"only decent?" he asks. its safe banter. your choice of words, even with only having spoken to you briefly, are deliberate sounding, almost like hooks in the water. so much purpose behind them. nanami's grip on the handle of the umbrella tightens. this is too much. he should leave this alone.
"being anything more than that would be insulting in this line of work, wouldn't it?" you laugh dryly, it shouldn't sound so tasteful.
he smiles, only slightly, he won't flash teeth. "ah well, decent job to you too. and rest well."
you lighten a little in the sun, brightening at his words.
he makes the mistake of breathing in too deeply once you've turned away. he smells it above anything else, the liquid pumping in your veins matches the heat of his.
nanami draws blood from his own cheek and reminds himself to take a very cold shower once he gets home.
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kingkatsuki · 3 months
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Jo the emotional turmoil and sexual competitions between zodyl and enjin in an enjin x reader x zodyl love triangle would be INSANEEEEE.
Currently thinking of a reader who was formerly one of the cleaners but gets radicalized/inspired to join zodyl and the raiders.
Like you had an ongoing unserious relationship with Enjin but it was never fully official or labeled anything serious and the lack of commitment has you drifting away into the arms of someone else…
And Zodyl won you over as a part of his plan, one of many experiments to see how loyal to Enjin you truly are. He hopes that you leaving Enjin will make the pseudo-leader of the cleaners less focused/less of a problem for the raiders and Zodyl’s future plans.
What he didn’t calculate was actually catching feelings for you.
Orrrr if you had another enjin/zodyl/reader trio idea I’d love to hear it 👀🎤
STOP RN. I am so unbelievably obsessed with this you have no idea?!?!
Because imagine how much more Enjin would hate him? Would hate the raiders— how much more careless he’d be. We’re so used to him being the protector, the voice of reason who looks after his found family… but if he lost you he’d be prepared to do anything to get you back where you belong.
And he starts looking back on those nights you’d spend together, the deep and meaningful conversations you’d have, the sex— He wishes he’d made things official, like he could tell you wanted and perhaps he was just too afraid to do so? Too afraid to take that leap of faith. And look where it’s gotten him? Still fisting his cock to the thought of you.
Somehow it’s like Zodyl knows how important you are to him too. How much Enjin loves you— and he uses it to his advantage. Keeping you close whenever Enjin is around, his hand around your throat as he pulls your back against his chest with his eyes focused on Enjin.
It makes bile rise in his throat at the thought of Zodyl’s hands on what should be his. Touching you the way that Enjin used to touch you— he wonders if you cum as hard for him. Torturing himself with those sick and twisted thoughts as he imagines you naked for another man, moaning out a name that isn’t his. He still fists his cock to the thought of it though, because this is the lovesick depraved fool you’ve created.
And yet you’re so fiercely loyal to Zodyl now. A man who isn’t afraid to tell you how he feels, how important you are to him, how much he loves you. You believe every word, because of course you do. He’s never given you a reason to doubt it, and it’s the same words you’ve longed to hear from Enjin for so long. To feel loved, desired, wanted— he doesn’t feel the same as Enjin, almost no comparison as Zodyl treats you so roughly, deliberately marking you as his each night as he fucks you with persistence.
Enjin spends each night with regrets, his cigarette consumption even worse than before as he finds himself bartering for more. Unable to get the dark thoughts out of his mind as he wonders what sick torture you’re having to endure.
So he seizes the moment to bring you back. Cornering you on one of their missions as he pushes you back against the wall, the familiar scent of you invades his senses as he does everything in his power to stop himself from kissing you. His thigh lodged between your thighs to keep you pinned as he feels you grind yourself against it, the warmth radiating off of you as Enjin tries to remember to breathe. He wants to keep everyone safe, and deep down he doesn’t even know whether he can even trust you anymore. Unsure just how much you’ve been radicalised, and yet he doesn’t seem to care— not above begging as he pleads with you to come back to him, to come back home.
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My Enjin x Zodyl x Reader ideas are so basic! I always think you were part of the raiders until you’re rescued by Enjin, but it’s so difficult to adjust especially after being so in “love” with Zodyl for so long.
Or you’re a cleaner, but you can’t help but tempt fate by always sneaking off to meet with Zodyl and fuck— and Enjin finds out and feels completely betrayed.
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yingjiaoyue · 2 months
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This take place after Jiao Yue and Syaoron swap their body back. Idk why I wrote this. This don't make sense I just feeling angsty.
Ayu sit on the bed watching Syaoron brushing his hair. The hair still wet but Syaoron just keep brushing it. He was quite all this time and Ayu can see that he is tired. Everyone are. It's was rather whole weird as days. And everything just a lot to unpack.
"This is third time you shower" Ayu point out obvious thing. Part of her is worry about him. She can see red mark on his body everytime he out of shower. Ayu can feel Syaoron rub his body roughly in shower. She wait Syaoron to say something about her comment.
"I feel like I still can feel them.." Syaoron eyes is distant. It's about that accident. Ayu can't blame him for that. It's left some effect for everyone at some point she think. She touch her lip. She still can't feel the phantom touch of someone kissing her. Someone she doesn't know thinking it's Syaoron...and all the this that they almost done..she feel disgusting. If she could she would vomit again. Her tummy been twisted in weird way just to think about that shitty thing. She just can't imagine what Syaoron went through.
"They won't stop. They just don't. And it's hurt...." Syaoron voice is unusualy small. Nothing like Syaoron Ayu know. She scopped herself closer to Syaoron on bed. "I don't know what to do that time...I feel...." He take a bit moment "helpless....." Ayu don't know how to respon to that. Imagine putting herself is his situasion is the best think she can do. Honestly she would feel the same.
"Well.. it's not your body" Okay Ayu maybe the best person you could ask for comfort but she the only one Syaoron have right now. Someone who know about all that stupis swap body thing. What Ayu said is not wrong...
"It's my memory..." Syaoron look away not wanting to see Ayu face. What if she think he is disgusting for letting that to happend? Yeah sure it's not his body but it's still him who feel it.
Ayu shut her mounth not knowing what to say. What can she do anyway? That question Ayu ask herself.
OH MAH GODDD NOT SYAORAN GETTING TRAUMATIZED BY THOSE MFS HELP
ok but im eating this angst up frr
I like to imagine how Syaoran would probably act during that time when he was in Jiao Yue’s body with macaque and mayor— he would lowkey panic and like also probably realized he’s not used to being in a senri’s body,, so like he has no idea how to manipulate her powers during that time— poor syaoran got violated
And meanwhile with Jiao Yue in Syaoran’s body, she definitely acts almost absent minded most of the time so Ayu suspects Syaoran was not syaoraning (idk i love the term),, like I feel like Ayu would have noticed how almost Syaoran is acting of a sub than dom(?) 😭,, Jiao Yue still didn’t had any idea Syaoran was seeing Ayu, but Jiao Yue could only assume Ayu is one of his new gf so maybe Jiao Yue in Syaoran’s body let her kiss him and yeh..
But like going back to the angst,, as much as i know how sick and twisted i sound rn, i feel satisfied seeing syaoran like that. Like imagine getting the treatment of how you used to treat ur ex back then. Feels fucking shitty right? Yeh. Got that.
But also,, I love ur writing and THANKS FOR THE MEALL <33
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enbysiriusblack · 6 months
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rereading the illiad rn and i cannot even explain how much dorcas is like achilles. achilles 2.0 fr.
like just. some quotes i noted:
(Dorcas to Dumbledore) "I have no mind to linger here disgraced, brimming your cup and piling up your plunder."
"What a worthless, burnt-out coward I'd be called if I would submit to you and all your orders, whatever you blurt out. Fling them at others, don't give me commands!"
(Dorcas after Marlene's death) "Achilles kept on grieving for his friend, the memory burning on... he longed for Patroculus' manhood, his gallant heart."
"How long will you eat your heart out here in tears and torment?"
"I'm sick with longing for you! There is no more shattering blow that I could suffer. Not even if I should learn of my own father's death."
"The gods have planted a cruel, relentless fury in your heart! All for a girl!"
"But then- enraged for Patroclus- brilliant Achilles will bring Prince Hector down. And then, from that day on, I'll turn the tide of war."
(Dorcas on the revenge spree)
"And his heart breaks but he courses after the hunter. Hot on his tracks down glen on twisting glen- where can he find him?- gripped by piercing rage."
"Achilles now like inhuman fire raging on through the mountain... like a frenzied god of battle trampling all he killed and the earth ran black with blood."
"Would to god my rage, my fury would drive me now to hack your flesh away and eat you raw."
"You are doomed to die by force, Achilles, cut down by a deathless god and mortal man."
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catwouthats · 5 months
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I’m watching The Gay Deceivers. Will give live updates on this post as I edit it.
00:00:58 Starting off Strong with that green screen college tho-
00:01:08 That hat is slay.
00:04:30 aw they have been together since grade school
00:05:27 ish He’s like “I KNOW WHAT YOU AREEEE” once he s
00:05:40 This editing is amazing
00:06:50 OMG THE CENSORSHIP LMAOO
00:07:50 ish “DO YOU MIND IF I KEEP IT I DONT HAVE THIS ONE AT HOME” oh my GOSHHHHHH lmaooooo
00:11:00 Fellas, is it gay to keep on pretending to be gay and to heavily check out your homies when you DONT have too??
00:12:58 Okay but she is SLAYINGGG with that outfit
00:16:20 they are so sick of this shit lol. The gay agenda isn’t the internet, it’s the complexities of war.
00:17:33 THAT BLONDE ONE IS DEFINITELY BISEXUAL I COULD TELL FROM THE BEGINNING
00:19:12 one bedroom troupe but make it gay. Blonde guy is having a bisexual panic over having to share the bed.
00:22:36 He’s dropping so many hints that he wants to be kissed
I love the fake dating trope
00:23:56 I love this gay actor sm
00:24:45 “We’re newly weds..” AH BRO IS SO BISEXUAL ISTG
00:27:05 “Probably have it bugged” you’re just saying that so he kisses you Eliot
00:31:00 THE LANDLORD IS SO NICE??
“I bet he cooks better than you do?” And than he gets jealous, goes downstairs, watches him cook, than is like “shit he is a good cook but he definitely wants us!” Eliot I see you giggling when no one is watching. You’re not slick.
00:35:39 DANNY IS FIGHTING FOR HIS LIFEEE RN
00:37:15 they way I’m panicking with Danny rn…
Okay but why is Danny’s sister homophobic lowkey 💀
00:51:31 oop he caught his bf
00:52:18 so… are you asking him to pay you back in the same way he was gonna pay back her?… bc bro…
01:03:42 why are so many of the girls in this film homophobic??? Acting like gay men are zoo animals to be gauked at and mocked… damn.
01:05:29 uh oh… it’s starting to click for her… she thinks their gay…
They may have girl bossed a little too close to the sun
01:07:25 ooooh… damn they are blaming Danny rn…
01:08:57 Them calling Superman Camp is so real
01:13:58 NO WAY…. No way… omg… bro is too in love with bro to be thinking of anyone else (it’s that or he’s too stressed about the possibility of getting drafted)
01:15:14 NOT ELIOT TRYING TO CHEER UP HIS BF
01:16:30 well Eliot is definitely having fun with the queer lifestyle now…
01:22:55 okay she’s not so homophobic she’s just confused.
Side note: Eliot being a little transphobic has me a little mad, but ofc that would happen bc he’s not used to the queer community.
01:28:30 they girlbossed WAYY too close to the sun…
01:29:55 NAW NOT THAT PLOT TWIST LMAOOOOOOOOO
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jasminelee324 · 4 months
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GEGE WHEN I CATCH YOU!!!!!!
jjk rant
biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii-
ALERT POSSSIBLE JJK SPOILERS/SPECULATIONS AHEAD!!!!!!!!!
i am nooooot okay. Gege is an actual villain. I have been listening to nothing but deathbed by powfu, some song by Laufey with froyo edits on tiktok (song is Promise, aka "it hurts to be something, it's worse to be nothing with youuuuu), and Mr. Loverman ON REPEAT for THE WHOLLLLLLLLLE MORNING. i HAVENT EVEN HAD MY HEARTBROKEN (recently). FELL ASLEEP AT LIKe 4 am to fluff after the chp spoilers found on tumblr and even awoke to try to write some comforting fluff myself. like fr I don't even fw Gojo that heavy -nananim stans- but this stuff that mangakas are pulling is getting out of freaking hand. the day Yuuji dies I don't want anyone to talk to me bc if I'm not okay right now I have no idea what state I will be in. i have literally been snuggling with my teddies for 1/2 the morning trying not to cry. like seriously eyes were almost getting blurry as I type this and Loverman plays in the background. this is NOT okay. they are fictitious characters so why the actual fudge am I so sad.
and to make matters worse I saw a glimpse of a rumor on tumblr that satorou is dead but there going to put yuuta, who is also apparently dead, in his body to use him as a weapon to fight sukuna who has POSSESSED MEGUMI!!!!!!! And then someone had THE SHEER AUDACITY to create a post with Gojo, Yuuji, and Yuuta smiling on top, and Poor little Megumi curled up in a ball in some domain all by himself. And it read top: "and tell your 'babies' bottom: that I'm your 'baby' too" and after that I had to go to bed bc this is not alright. idk what type of pain Gege is getting off to but this has got to be sick twisted and ILLLEEEEEEEEEGAL. AND MIND YOU I'M NOT EVEN WATCHING THE ANIMEEEEEEEEEEE! Virtually everything Ik ik ik against my will thx to edits and genreal content floating around online and yes ik "the algorithm yada yada" but RIGHT NOW I DO NOT CARE bc this level of international cruelty should not exist. yes ik there are really issues going on and I cry myself to sleep about those other days of the week but rn the wave of grief I'm feeling over all of this screams to be attended to.
literally got a call today and will have to call them back bc if I picked up the phone my voice was gonna sound sore as if I were crying and how THE HEY HEY HEY am I supposed to explain to him that I've been in bed rotting for hours and watching edits of heartbroken lovers that met tragic ends, on the brink of bawling my eyes out over people THAT AREN'T REALLLLL!!! Yeah, I'm in no mood for a psychiatric visit, so yeah no<3
Gege when I Catch you. No bc AOT was one thing. That beach was sad af. but this is a whole other story. in the aot verse there were so. many. characters. There were nations at war, factions, squadrons. they were AT WAR. there were hundreds, thousands, millions, but this is just sick and twisted bc I feel like the jjk storyline is slightly less character dense and so you truly have an opportunity to find a sense of intimacy in the relationships that you have the opportunity of viewing and getting to know and EVERY TIME GEGE BEARS THE DEPTHS OF A CHARACTER'S HEART, WILL, AND SOUL TO THE AUDIENDICE THEY WIND UP DEAD !!!!!! this is no longer ok. call help. SOMEBODY PLS GET HELP. Gege has to be held accountable bc this is getting out of handddddd😭😭😭😭(yes I am aware that I am griping and moaning and that realistically speaking artist reserve every single right to do whatever the heck they want with their art and don't owe anyone ship. A girl is simply in her feelings and will continue to do so until further notice.)
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ro-sham-no · 7 months
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sam has intrusive thoughts. he knows what they are, and he knows that they happen to him. what he doesn't know is if his... less than brotherly thoughts about dean are just of the same ilk, or if they stem from his actual desires.
maybe it's just his brain jolting through potholes of its own making; maybe. or maybe it's his own sickness, his own wanton wanting, because he was born wrong. born twisted, dirty. inundated with sin, forever trying to taint those he loves most.
cw: violent & graphic intrusive thoughts; softcore car-wash p*rn starring dean from teen!sam's perspective (a.k.a. underage sam being gay & horny)
sam winchester experiences intrusive thoughts. he knows this. they spring unbidden into his mind, always with such startling clarity,
i should stab this toothbrush through the back of my throat. maybe i'll suffocate; drown in my own blood, spit, and vomit
or,
i'll gouge out the flesh on my arms with my nails if i just accidentally scratch them. wet flesh under my nails. trails of skin and tissue being flayed everywhere. quivering muscles underneath on display
or,
we have a pair of pliers in the toolkit in the back. if i just go and get them, i can rip all my teeth out from the root
... and so on. intrusive thoughts: sometimes violent, sometimes just disturbing, but always revolting- or at least, it's supposed to be always. sam knows he should be disgusted, horrified by all of them. and he is, the thoughts often eliciting a physical reaction, like a wince or a shudder, shaking his head, hitting it, pulling his hair. anything to derail his brain for just a second to reset. all of his brain's misfired urges and impulses completely disgust him.
all of them, that is, except one, which has reoccurred unfailingly but in varying forms since about the 9th grade.
it was 1997, and dean got the impala from dad for his 18th birthday. ever the faithful caretaker, he started tuning it up on his own and washing it, even more regular than john ever had. if they were set up in a motel, that meant dean would do maintenance in some empty parking lot and then go to a car wash joint, usually alone, after work at whatever inane local job he'd gotten. but sometimes, when they would squat in rent a house, dean would use the driveway and a good ol' fashioned bucket & sponge to give baby a rubdown on his own, pulling out special polishing wax for her chrome accents and everything.
so, it was 1997, sam was two months into being 14, and it was the middle of summer. they were posing as a happy family somewhere in the American Suburb. it was sweltering, and school had long been let out, so sam was inside reading in the living room. the window-shades were fully open to let in the cozy sunlight while he shamelessly took advantage of the non-faulty air conditioning. dean was outside washing baby after changing her oil, as per usual.
the loud clunk of dean shutting off the house's hose spigot made sam look up, unconsciously observing his brother, who'd donned the one ratty pair of swimming trunks he owned and a once-white, now oil-stained tank top for the occasion. he was drenched- though whether it was sweat or hose water, sam couldn't quite tell. dean fiddled some more with the spigot just next to the window, allowing sam to gaze on unfettered. sam didn't even realize he was doing it, relaxed and unaware as his hindbrain continued to make more and more detailed observations,
like how the angle of dean's jaw was set off just-so in the sun. or the way the firm, rounded definition of his bare shoulders shifted and rippled as he messed with the hose and bucket. or the way his wet tank top clung to his chest and stomach, slipping up just enough on one side to show the pronounced curve of his obliques. or how a wedge of un-tanned skin was revealed on the opposite side of his waist as his threadbare swim trunks were tugged down from the weight of the water they were soaked in. or even, just a small eye-stray further inward, how the same heavily soaked garment sunk in and scrunched up at his hip crease, first, and then swelled back out sharply towards the middle as it clung oh-so-tellingly to dean's-
sam's eyes snapped away quickly (why did he feel guilty?) as dean picked up the bucket by the handle he had finally fixed and turned away to bring it to the car. the younger boy, still unaware of his own mind's machinations, didn't even resist as his eyes and thoughts continued to stray, once again unbeknownst to him.
he must've dropped the bucket of water on himself when the handle popped out of place. maybe he let the spigot run a little longer, too, and let it get him wet and glistening all over, because no way had a singular bucket of water gotten dean that wet. not with the way he was so clearly soaked down his entire backside, causing the back of his tank, too, to cling to his torso.
sam idly noted that dean was starting to spread soapy water over the impala which was facing towards the house, tilted up on the driveway. dean had to bend and stretch himself out over baby's front to sponge at the crease where her windshield met her hood.
see, he must've gotten himself more wet, since his swimming trunks, again, were struggling to stay up. they worked in tandem with his clinging tank top which had continued to ride up, revealing dean's back dimples. two innocuous indentations of flesh, sitting atop his waistband and pointing downward to the once again un-tanned skin sloping across the sinful curve of dean's... assets. the beginning hints of his firm curves were just barely peeking out to join his back dimples, showing the delta of skin that led down into a dark crevice, so cruelly hidden from view by the swim trunks, still unfortunately hanging on for all they were worth.
even sam's subconscious hesitated at this, beginning to wake up the boy in question to his own internal monologue, but he still wasn't fully cognizant.
he gazed on as dean squeezed out the last bit of soapy water from the sponge, turning to grab the empty bucket as well and trek back up to the water spigot to rinse them out. as he walked up to the house with his hands full, he wiped his face against the inside of his arm, possibly to scratch an itch or wipe away sweat- sam didn't have the bandwidth to decide which it was as his brain fired up once again.
dean's lips dragged against the inside of his arm, catching with friction and then releasing so elegantly. can lips be considered elegant? maybe not. maybe dean's lips were just... red, and plump, and crested, ever-so-perfectly. they looked warm, heated by the sun and the scrape of dean's teeth as he periodically bit them raw.
sam's thoughts started to organize themselves,
it should be me making dean's lips warm, instead. only i should have the right.
i should be the one biting dean's lips raw; biting them until they bleed, all for me.
it should be me clinging wetly to dean's torso, riding up on his back.
i should be the one holding onto dean's waist, letting gravity incessantly tug my hands lower and lower until i dig into his back dimples.
it should be me who drags even lower still, until i clutch my fingertips where the sun isn't privileged enough to touch- where no one should be privileged enough to touch. no one except me.
i should be the one grasping his innermost vulnerability in my hands. i'll treat it better than anyone else could.
it should be me. i should be the one.
sam's hindbrain finally catapulted into complete awareness,
it should be me, kissing dean. i should be the one kissing him, holding- loving- fu-
sam's eyes widen and he flinches away from the window as the thought fully registers, stumbling off of the couch and back towards his room that he shared with dean on shaking legs, a previously unnoticed throbbing between them taking a sudden precedence in the priority of his blood flow.
it's fine.
just another weirdly desirable, actually alluring intrusive thought.
it's fine.
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Note
I know this is late rn (it is here in my country lmao);;; but will you continue the Morpheus X Filipino!Reader???;;; I'm not really sure if there's a follow-up that I'm not aware of sorry... But I have an idea, after the drunk shenanigans, they get a massiiiiive hangover and question if what happened really happened but continue their day. Then after being kicked out, Morpheous just followed them like the lost puppy he is (in this case a lost sad wet cat lmao) like in a work/university(as a student or professor idk). LITERALLY everywhere (stalking but in a cute way if it makes sense?). And Cori visit now and then, for his own amusement lol, just to annoy Dream and make him jealous or watch his "Dad" suffer and be a pathetic love sick puppy LMAOOOOO Also, Matthew gives Morpheus some love and courting(?) tips is quite cute and funny at the same time lolololol
Anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyy have a great day or night~!!!! idk
Oh, Don't Be Like That
Dream of the Endless x Reader + Corinthian x Reader (except its mostly Dream & Cori duking it out AHHAHA)
Summary: There was a battle going inside your mind between a nightmare and the master of dreams... literally.
Word Count: 1k+
Warnings: gender neutral!reader, psychological mind fuckery, corinthian being the nightmare he is, brat!cori, jealous!dream, exasperated dad!dream, angst?, crackfic?, typos, etc.
A/N: hi nonnie, there is actually a next part to it, but lol sige na nga ahsf;lashf i'll write what you want (i hope you like it) only cos i love corinthian so much and i want them to bite each other (in a fight HAHHAHAH) i hope you enjoy it and yeah it was pretty late when you sent this i remember but that doesnt matter cos i got back to you 1000 years later lol This is technically a p4. [p1 "Thorn At My Side"] [p2 "Beer"] [p3 "Not Enough"] but you dont have to read them to understand lol. Tagging everyone from p3!: @cleverzonkwombatsludge @pinksirensong @lexi-anastasia @aralezinspace @emy635 @libra207 @secretdreamlandmentality @deniixlovezelda @shadow-pancake9 @laraackerman @reallystressedhoneybee @farintonorth @shining-yuu @ellooo0ooo i'll also tag @sloanexx even though this isn't the jealous!dream req i was talking to you about lol
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I was running. I was running so fast that I was losing my breath. The halls were winding. I reach a split hallway and take a sharp turn right.
"Oh, little bug," the ominous voice calls, "why are you running from me? I thought we were friends?"
I run faster, skin crawling, rising with goosebumps, as I tread frantically down the hall.
I see light at the end. I run faster and faster towards it, as fast as my legs can take me.
All at once, the light is gone and I slam into a dead end. I fall to bottom and scramble. I push myself back into the corner, looking out into the darkness, awaiting my demise.
"Oh, pretty thing," he laughs, "how stupid of you."
My entire body is trembling. I break into an ear piercing, body curdling shriek when I see a figure. A grim, twisted, eerily grinning face comes into view from the shadows.
My head blares because of my screaming, and yet when the figure comes to light and doubles down in laughter. Tears in my eyes are clouding my vision, and I'm curled up in the corner for dear life.
He takes of his shades and leans on his knees. The teeth in his eyes wheeze with him. It takes me a good long while for me to realize just who in the nightmare this man was, with the aid of him introducing himself.
"It's me, doll," he chuckles, turning to me, "your boyfriend Cori."
I recoil, as this finally dawns onto me. Boyfriend my ass. I begin to heave as my frightened tears turn into bitter angry ones. I rise to my feet, chest rising and falling in anger. I point an accusing finger to the blonde, "you are NOT my boyfriend," I step forward each statement, "you stupid, annoying, evil little bitch-ass, rat!"
Corinthian raises his hands in defeat, chuckling once more, proceeding to wipe his glasses on his shirt, looking down as he snorts, "oh, but I am."
When he looks back up as he puts his glasses back on, the grin on his face disappears as he is faced with nothing but darkness.
Corinthian is no longer in the hall, he is only stood alone in the darkness.
"Deceiver."
Corinthian's blood runs still. His breath hitches when he turns and is faced with an imposing figure.
Dream of the Endless glares at his creation with a tense jaw. His eyes are lit with a fury. Corinthian can easily recognize the envy.
He feels a possessiveness, an irksome roll in his gut. What is he doing in my nightmare?
Corinthian grinds his teeth then exhales, adjusting his shades on the bridge of his nose. He feels ire rise up the artery in his neck, but he plays it off with an airy chuckle, "sounds like a whole lot of denial on your part, papa bear."
Dream's nostrils flare, he steps forward, not willing to lose to his spawn, "I have gotten my answer, nightmare. Bego-"
"You've been following us," Cori cuts in, not wanting to end the nightmare, not wanting to lose either. He watches the strangles expression on his maker tighten. The nightmare's gotten some good footing, "you've seen us walk together," he raises a brow, "laughing, holding hands."
The blonde is excited by the involuntary reaction he gets from Dream. His dark form darkens even more. The king begins to contort into a thing of horror. His form is shifting into fear itself.
If a nightmare had a nightmare, it would be him.
And yet he does a good job of playing it off, Corinthian wills himself to, just before fear overtook him, "it'd be stupid of you not to realize the feelings we evidently share for each other."
Lord Morpheus' frightful and terror-inspiring form begins to dwindle, to lose its edge at the his words. Corinthian was, like the Lord of Dreams said, a deceiver, a master at that, but he was nonetheless true at a point though. That was why a paleness overtook Dream's face, dejected, cold.
Corinthian enjoys the fact he has the upper hand, "I've been spending all my time, frolicking with-"
"And yet," his voice cracks like thunder, "you were denied," Dream cuts, smashes with a sledgehammer. He nears Corinthian. His master feels his shudder, "enough of your games, child."
A shiver runs down his spine. The power of his words over Corinthian was absolute gospel. He felt like he was being drawn back into the depths by his ankles. Cori was not giving up without a fight however.
"I can hear your true intentions, Corinthian," Dream speaks, "cease your childish prods-"
"No," Corinthian snorts. He points a finger to the ground, "no, you're wrong. You can't make me!"
He watches Dream narrow his eyes and tilt his head. He gulps when he hears him say, "can't I?"
Corinthian feels his body vibrate in anger, in annoyance, in deviance.
At the same time, they both feel the stirring of the being's consciousness.
Corinthian heaves, forcing himself to laugh, "there's still something you still don't understand, pops."
Dream is done with him, and yet he decides to humor his Corinthian, "and what would that be?"
"Unlike you, we actually have a relationship, and I'm actually, at least, friends with t-"
I gasp awake, feeling a cold sweat down my neck. I squeal and snap my head to the side when I hear a voice from across my bedroom.
It's Corinthian, taunting me, a blanket on his form from where he was spending the night on my sofa chair, groaning as he shifted, lips curving upward, "nightmare?"
I catch my breath, scowling, grabbing the pillow beside me on my bed, "asshole!" I throw the pillow at him, "I knew it was a bad idea to let you sleep over!"
Corinthian is hit in the face by my unexpectedly good shot. The glasses he kept on slips from his nose and yet he is undeterred, and even chuckles, "that's what you get for playing good Samaritan."
"Rat!" I bark, "cretin! TROLL! GREMLIN-"
"I don't know why you're so angry," Cori laughs, "I'm sure you don't remember a thing."
"That doesn't mean I don't feel the fear in my body, moron! IMBECILE!"
Dream, on the other hand, who manifested his consciousness back in the Dreaming, alerts Matthew, who had been waiting for him, perched on his throne's backrest.
"So?" the raven crows.
Dream ignores him, standing from his throne, and walking off with a dark cloud over head.
Matthew watches him storm away. He sighs, "I told you to just ask if Corinthian was-"
"Silence, bird."
Matthew stops. He sighs. He'd roll his eyes if he could. He gently mocks, "ok then, boss. You're the boss, boss."
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emetoniche · 2 years
Text
Justin x Roan: Late Night Sickness
This one just kind of happened, no real plan when I started, so it's not nearly as long as the last one. Ooh boy, this one had me feeling so fucking horny when I was done writing it though. Good Lord, I need myself a Justin rn, just vomiting all over himself.
______________________________________________________________
Justin awakes to find his stomach squeezing itself into oblivion. Almost immediately, his body curls into the fetal position, arms wrapping around his middle, eyes tightly shut. He hadn't gone to bed feeling like this. In fact, he had fallen asleep with Roan in his arms, her head nestled into his chest, after they had had a particularly productive love session. But now...
Now it feels like something is trying to writhe free from his abdomen, kind of like in that one movie with Sigourney Weaver. What was it called? Oh yeah, Alien. That thought makes his stomach clench tighter, and he tries to push it away with little luck. In the bed beside him, Roan rolls over in her sleep, shaking the bed. The rocking motion catches Justin off guard, and he groans softly.
He turns over as carefully as he can, touching Roan's shoulder. "Roan..." he moans. "Roan, I don't feel good..."
As his fingers press to her shoulder, he can tell that she's in a very deep sleep. She sleeps like a rock, one of her rare but few flaws. Her shoulders are tense, like there is a rubber band just under the surface. But Justin is feeling worse, much worse. He squeezes his eyes shut against the pain, his fingers sinking into Roan's shoulder. His stomach is writhing. "Roan... I, don't... oh..."
He shakes her as hard as his stomach would allow, and she snorted in her sleep, swimming sleepily up from the depths of her dreams. Her eyes flit open finally, and she turns her head to look at Justin, still barely seeming to hold on to consciousness. "What's wrong baby," she mutters, voice raspy with sleep.
He can only whimper out a few words between gritting his teeth. "My belly, it... feels sick." His head feels like its being split into two. His stomach feels torn apart and he can't even speak without his face twisting. "My head, it hurts—but my stomach is... oh... I'm sick. Like really sick..."
Roan sits up, propping herself up on one elbow and using her other arm to feel Justin's forehead. Her face falls into a frown. "You're burning up," she said, forcing herself to sit up fully. "That's weird, you weren't this hot when we went to bed..." She reaches over, running a hand through Justin's shoulder-length hair, trying to comfort the sick boy.
As Roan's fingers work through his hair, it sends a shiver down Justin's spine. She is kind and nurturing and, well... she makes him feel loved. The sensation is soothing on the whole, but nothing is strong enough to drown out the feverish ache in his belly. He reaches for Roan's hand. "I need to, I've gotta go to the bathroom." The need to puke is overwhelming.
Shoving the covers off and standing up, Roan quickly moves around to his side of the bed, pulling the covers off of him as well. "Come on baby, let's go," she murmurs soothingly. She slips an arm around his shoulders, pulling him into a sitting position. Placing a hand on his stomach, she can feel how bloated and angry it is. It is gurgling so loudly and so hard she can literally feel the contents of it sploshing around. In the back of her mind, she wondered if he would make it to the bathroom in time.
As he slowly stands, a shiver runs all over his body. His stomach is a twisting, churning mess. Whatever is inside him is trying desperately to make an exit. At the moment, he can only groan with the writhing. Even as Roan helps him to his feet, his body is so heavy and the pain is so terrible. "Ooh, oh no... don't, I'm gonna..."
Roan tries to guide him to the bathroom, but less than a foot from the bed she feels his body heave. He sits down on the bed with a soft plop, fist pressed to his lips in an effort to keep the vomit down. Roan doesn't think he's very successful, and her thoughts are confirmed when a thick gush of puke flows from between his fingers onto his lap.
He's almost proud. Almost. There's a certain sense of relief in the violent expulsion that rocks his entire body. He doesn't care where its going, or how much of it there is. His nose wrinkles as he watches the puke drip down to the floor. It smells vile, even to himself. And there is so much more coming up.
"Oh, gods... no..." Another gush pours out in front of him. "Ahh, Roan, it hurts so bad..."
Rubbing his back and holding one of his hands, Roan watches the chunky liquid pour from his mouth in a flow of greenish-yellow sick. It pools in his lap, spilling over onto the blankets and the floor. "That's it baby, get it all out, it's okay," she soothes, still holding onto him as his body convulses.
As he throws up in a torrent, he barely hears her. His head hurts so bad. The nausea doesn't seem to let up, and he knows the worst is yet to come. He looks at Roan once in a while, his eyes darting around as his consciousness begins to drift. It is a painful drift, and he begins to shake even as his stomach empties. "Oh, Roan, it hurts! It hurts so bad, just... help..."
It pains Roan beyond belief to see her boyfriend in such a state, but there isn't much she can do about it. Ignoring the growing puddle of vomit, she scoots closer to him, hugging him and holding him steady. The vomiting has slowed to dry heaving, and after a bit its just a couple of empty gags until Justin falls back into her arms, utterly exhausted.
As he falls back, his head begins to loll and his lips part. He's so, so tired. Even sitting up is a great strain. He can barely find the energy to open his eyes. He must be running a high fever and his entire body hurts. His head throbs as if his brain is trying to drill its own escape; his stomach continues to be a sloshing nightmare, but at least its not as violent anymore. With a slow, deep, exhausted exhale, he mumbles a "thank you..."
The next morning, having cleaned up the mess and slept for the rest of the night, Roan makes herself breakfast, placing a couple pieces of bread in the toaster. From the other room, she hears a loud groan; Justin waking up most likely. She walks quickly through the kitchen into the bedroom to find Justin no longer in bed. The bathroom light is on, and she can just barely see his toes peeking out from around the doorframe. She goes over to the door, peering in, to find Justin sitting with his arms around the toilet bowl, head resting on them.
Justin groans against the cold porcelain of the toilet bowl. Whatever he ingested seems to still be wreaking absolute havoc in his guts, but it was no help that his body had lost so much sleep and fluids. "R-Roan..." he moans. He's cold, and his stomach is still squeezing and sloshing and twisting. He looks awful, his face pale and his body soaked with sweat.
"Oh, baby," Roan coos, coming up behind him and gently wrapping her arms around him. "Are you throwing up again?"
"Mm..." He whimpers as she holds him. His belly is still writhing, but it appears he hasn't thrown up again yet. He's just so... so weak. The fever has made him almost delirious; a little like the time he'd suffered food poisoning at his parents' house—but this feels worse. Much worse. His shoulders shake. "Y-yeah. I think—I think just give... uhh... me a minute."
"Ok, I'll be right here, I promise," Roan replies, squeezing his shoulder gently.
"C-can you help?" Justin moans, giving her a plaintive look.
"Of course, sweetheart." Roan wraps her arms around him from behind, placing her hands on his stomach. She can feel it rumbling under her touch, and she presses lightly on it. Justin gags at the pressure, an empty gag, but not by much. A bit more pressure on his stomach, and he heaves a guttural burp, bile spewing from his mouth. Another enormous burp, and more bile, spotted with bits of last night's dinner that hadn't come up the first time.
Justin's entire back stiffens as he burps and spews. The pressure has clearly been too much for a body already experiencing so much pain; it sets off a new round of gags. His mouth and eyes fill with the taste of sour, fetid puke. He groans as the pain sets in. "Oh, f—!"
Roan feels a bit sorry for applying the pressure, given it gave him so much pain, but she knew that in the long run it would be better to get rid of his stomach contents as quickly as possible.
The pressure had been awful, almost like an immediate burst of severe pain, but the subsequent wave is so much worse. Justin gasps for air as he finishes his heaving into the toilet bowl. It sounds so painful... but he feels so, so much better for it. "Oh... man... oh gods. Thank you. Thank you..."
Roan rests her head on his back, cuddling him. She can't help but to feel a small burst of pleasure with the feeling of taking care of him. Never a burden for her. Once she gets him back in bed, she stays beside him for a while, forgetting about her breakfast entirely. Just Justin for now, that's all that matters to her. After the pain had eased a bit, Justin's body seems to finally give in to the fatigue he'd felt from the initial fever. He's so warm and so tired, but Roan seems to be a calming force over his body. He reaches up and places a hand on her cheek, before slowly, almost reluctantly, drifting off to sleep. She can just barely hear his last words as he drifts off. "I love you, Roan..."
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