#but this is starting to be bothersome
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It's 6am and I'm THIS close on calling the cops on my new neighbor because he is playing music SO LOUD and his guests can't stop screaming on his stupid birthday party. I WANT TO SLEEP
#my neighborhood is super chill to the point you can head when the neighbors on the other block scream to each other#and the music sounds so loud is almost as if it was playing on my room#two Saturdays ago he had an inauguration party with music and everything and it was okay#but this is starting to be bothersome#I'm usually super chill with this stuff but my brother in christ i want to sleep#flor stuff#to delete#(i think they have microphones because i can hear high shitty drunk people singing SO LOUD)
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im #1 triangle hater that thing goes dingaglinglalaingaling and im like NOOOO!!!! NOOOOOOOO!!!!
#misophonia is the stupidest brain disorder tell me why im like that#bri talks#'ohhh goodness me a sound is bothersome im gonna start crying now' WHATEVERRRRRR KID GROW UP
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Still alive, writing and editing a lot and even drawing (mostly dragon sketches at work). Seasons has some new chapters now... I saw something earlier about writing being something you can hone by doing lots of reading and writing. I wonder when that will apply to me. I've read a lot of books this year. I have almost hit my goal of 90 books, and while a couple are nonfiction and half are comics, the rest are novels. I expect that to increase again, now that I'm going back to the library. (I stopped with the bed bug scare.) Then I'm setting aside time each week to write. I work on stories at work, even if it's mostly just planning. (My laptop is falling apart so I just gave up taking it to work.) Yet here I am, still the same idiot who doesn't have anything appealing enough for most people to read. I can't get 99% of my followers interested. Sales of Geckos have dropped to next-to-nothing. Nothing else I put out there matters either. The fault lies with me. I'm not good enough. After having this stupid blog for 12 years, I want to delete it. I want to delete my twitter account. I want to delete every single account and shut up for good. There is nothing I can offer. My writing is a good hobby for me. I can get pats on the head for doing a little thing for myself. Aww, look at the cute little dumbass adult doing wittle storwies!!! Isn't that silly!!! They're not good, but he's having fun during the process. Too bad he hasn't figured out that not even 39 more years of practice can save what he's handing out.
#people lied about “once you have confidence nothing can take it away”#nah that shit can get killed when you're a fucking pitiful fool like me!#until the day when I actually make something that's important to anyone this is just me being a child-brained idiot scribbling words down#I used to think I was semi-decent... I did before Rascal but figured Rascal was inferior to my usual work#Then I felt bad about my writing bc of discouragement and locked my work up#felt a surge of confidence a couple of weeks before I started Seasons tho#then had some confidence after that until 2023 (lots of bad shit happened that year)#it evaporated quickly but I tried to maintain some#and now it's just like... me trying to pretend and “fake it till you make it” has never worked for me#but let's be real: the more I showed I liked myself the more bothersome that was for some people I was close to#and it's better to tear me down than lift me up#so I guess the problem is that I just don't belong in the writing world with anyone else#I'll never be good enough and I'm frankly too mentally fucking delayed to have figured it out (like everything else)#hahahahaha people keep telling me I'm autistic and my brother is autistic and my parents refused a diagnosis for me when the Dr mentioned i#and here I am probably too autistic to have ever figured out a damn thing except that I'm pretty good at reading and liking stuff!#but not skilled at anything else#just a reader and worthless as anything else#oh and I guess crocheting but I want none of you to have that part of me ever again
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Accross every platforms, we are moots. Isnt this poetic. (save for insta because i hate using this app sobs sobs)
the power of markiplier illness
#answer#taikeero lecoredier#markiplier#that guy and his lore both live rent free and it’s starting to be bothersome#also dw for insta!!
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why isn't "what's in the box" from dune a bigger meme
#i can see its whole journey as a meme before my inner eye#starting out with cats in boxes#then moving on to other things in boxes#and then just getting absurder until you just post a picture of anything slightly bothersome#fandoms doing it with the charakters they despite#its all there#dune 2021#frank herbert#dune movie#dune memes
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#the secret to making friends is to let yourself annoy them#this is a joke but im also being completely serious#all my life I've been too apprehensive to make the first move because im always afraid of being bothersome#but looking back at the friendships through the past 4years at uni... im so lucky that a lot of people didn't worry about bothering me#and decided to come up and initiate conversation anyway#and also. whenever anyone has 'bothered me' by asking about me or wanting to know more... I have only felt loved and special...#so i guess what im trying to say is that#cringe culture is dead and theres nothing cool about prioritizing how you appear over the potential of a real bond#and I was born to be persistent and curious#so yeah. now that my graduate program will start in a couple months and there are opportunities to get acquainted with my classmates#I reach out to people with no attempt to hide my enthusiasm in getting to know them.#I double/triple text a lot and annoy them (affectionate) like i do my bffs and its incredible how 9/10 reciprocate that energy so quick#and despite the cultural differences and minor mistranslations/miscommunications we still manage to find common interests to discuss about#and it's like '!!!!!!! we're besties now'#yeah sure sometimes people might get a bit uncomfy and by the second message if i feel like I'm disturbing them I back off#but i won't know that until i reach out in the first place. so all in all this has worked really well for me and i love itttt#megumi in the tags
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need to get laid or lobotomized as soon as possible. not picky. serious inquires only.
#my persistent virginism is starting to become bothersome#i kinda feel like i would be fine if i took up smoking or started shoplifting again a#but unfortunately i dont have the time for cute teenage hobbies like that#only option left is to pray for godly intervention#maybe ill be hit by a buss 🥰🔥
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Beginning to think I might have to actually dedicate myself to practicing coding regularly if I’m going to be able to make an attractive game dev journal site let alone an entire damn video game
#sorry I’m like. live-blogging my thought process I hope that’s not bothersome#I’m just. agggg I want to I want to I want to so bad#I’m using the weasel codes tag to capture all my coding nonsense#I want a really pretty dev site and I’m really happy neocities link to each other. like infinite inspiration#I want a section to link to sites that inspire me… and for it to ever grow….#man#I need to learn the limits first so then I can start comfortably visualizing what’s possible#todo: make an attractive dev journal site. make that sword game on twine. finish the bread site. farming sim????#weasel speaks#weasel codes
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I'm gonna agree with the previous comments, your trade mark is how kind you seem to be, I know we haven't really had an actual one on one conversation, but that's just the vibe from your tags and art I get!
Aww thank you! And we should definitely have a conversation one of these days :3
#spookymarkers#I’m shit at starting (and sometimes maintaining) conversations I’m sorryyy 😭#I always feel like if I message out of nowhere it’ll be bothersome#Even tho when I get a message out of nowhere the dopamine starts flowing#The brain’s a funny thing
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So what I did earlier (marriage with the Abyss) caused my house to just become. wet. seems like it's a part of the sky rn it is a fucking fuzzy-rainy beach in this bitch
But you know, I'm looking at things and they're... cryptic... but there's a storm blowing through and uh. fascinating. and something. and foreboding. to walk out of the room (my fucking bed is so fucking wet) and hear Grey's disembodied voice echoing through the storm itself. And when I say disembodied, I mean disembodied. I mean the part of him detached from himself to be me, now apparently hypnagogic in the environment. This place is currently the experience of being a ship on a stormy sea and boy is the storm's wind not just sounding like voices but muting the other sounds in the environment to talk.
Which. can I keep talking about myself like "oh my god self that isn't me did this and bruhhh and it was intimidatingggg" so I don't have to actually grasp and accept what that means. Either way. Ah. God. Yayy weather. How am I going to clean this place up
#Joking I know how I'm going to but I'm not getting into it here. I'm gonna use the water for something. But either way#Grey's energy he cut off into me went from dead to hypnagogic to more conscious to more intelligent. Into me as in the part that's#attached to my main body. Now that this is happening in the peripheral body - specifically actually now this is happening in ANVD.#bc ANVD is me to a certain degree. Ah. Yeah. Centipede is in the walls and it's moving and the walls are moving and they are flesh. Which#I can't even be like oo scary because it's actually really comforting and homely. I'm really glad about how things are coming out#but am I allowed to say that.... There's a very real death toll to my - whatever. Death toll? Baby I'm about to start ringing#(bell pun)#ramblings //#astral diary //#Im too much like Lev sorry I have to sit around huffing complaining that Ive got so much work to do and everyone's so bothersome#especially lives and bodies of my own. and family. my god.
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#Ok I lied I still have thoughts but not about the thing specifically#but I wouldn’t be surprised if part of this is also a consequence of the fuck up his pr team did with the daily mail the other week#because now every article they publish includes the pr contract and poor performance bits#and I would imagine those two things in particular are especially bothersome#which is not to say that dm is trustworthy because it isn’t#but it’s a bigger outlet that keeps peddling the narrative which then gets disseminated to followers and other tabloids#So now her (their) team is shutting shit down especially when it starts affecting their (his) career
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me : i know going into this that there are several aspects that im going to overthink and obsess over, but i think the end result is going to be too good not to try
me three weeks later, surrounded by metaphorical* post-its and obsessing over blank spaces in the outline, numbers not ending in a 5 or a 0, and names based off of stellar phenomena : well shit
*the post-its are merely metaphorical because my hands don't work enough for that much traditional writing also i dont have space for that
#yes this is about#pn:au#pegasus natives au#im trying to work on the actual next fic but my outline is being bothersome#and by having such a detailed yet shifting outline im starting to realise exactly how much of an undertaking this will be#the projections are coming out to 30-45 fics in this series by the time im done#i dont have 30-45 fics total on ao3 yet and ive been writing on there for 7 months!!!#AND these are all projected to be in the 10k+ wordcount range???#what have i gotten myself into#everyone involved including myself is lucky im too obsessed with this to quit because im gettting daunted by this project
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9 and 10 for the s/i ask game! (asking for both the regular timeline and the au timeline! 👀) -gideongrovel
[Link to ask game!!]
Main Timeline
9. Who are your self insert’s closest friends?
Bun’s very closest friends are Ni.co Robin, Tony Tony Cho.pper, and her ✨~flashy~✨ bestie, Bu.ggy the Clown!
The friendship bewteen Silva and Robin has been explained in more depth HERE; but as a whole, they are cut from a very similar cloth. Just your average duo of morbidly curious history buffs who in time- found their respective reasons to live. ❤️🩹
Ch.opper is Bun's preferred doctor. He took care of her when she briefly traveled with the St.raw Hats. Bun was rather unwell after the Ala.basta incident, and her pets communicated to the reindeer that she needed help. As a result she adores the little guy [+bonus points in his favor that he's an animal]! They both look up to each other; Bun admires his dedication to his craft, and respects the fact that he is a talented medical professional, despite some of his more childish mannerisms. Ch.opper outright thinks that Silva is cool, if not something of a badass- he always carefully regards the life advice she provides him with. Tony is always happy to translate what Silva's pets say to her! Even a ways off into the future, Bun still goes to him for her significant medical needs; or sometimes Ch.opper makes the trip to her. The little guy may be the only person that Bun earnestly listens to when he scolds her to take better care of herself.
Bu.ggy and Bun were practically instant friends. They initially met when Bu.ggy made a trip to Ala.basta to search for THE LOVE OF HIS LIFE his on-agin-off-again partner, Jinx [@/mothlover69]. Bu.ggy quickly perceived Bun as a secret freak outcast, and Bun couldn't help but think he'd be a fascinating specimen to observe, er, a unique acquaintance to have! In any case, they got along decently well right off of the bat, so much so that Bu.ggy eagerly allowed Bun to live on his ship after she decided she didn't have the heart to keep traveling with the St.raw Hats. Actually, rumor has it that he just shot out his detached hands and scooped her + her pets onto the Big Top sometime before Lu.ffy's crew made it to Jaya!
It would be fair to say that B.uggy is a bad influence on her. It would also be fair to say that she’s as equally of a good influence on him. He’s learned how to be slightly better because of her. For example, the slack he cut for a frightened Transponder Snail at Mar.ineford was due in part to Bun’s impact. Most of the time Bun is the responsible one in their friendship, but in the event she’s not at her best, she has a tendency to feed into Bu.ggy’s nonsense. This was extremely evident when Bun was in a post-breakup[?] depression after Ala.basta, and Bu.ggy chose to enable all of Bun’s bad habits. What, what’s the harm in eating candy and cake for breakfast? Breakfast… three meals a day… HEY, he got her to eat, okay?! Psshh, he was only trying to comfort his friend! That’s what friends do, right? They cheer each other up? [Bless Jinx for rising up as the responsible adult in this specific situation!]
Bun respects Bu.ggy as her friend, but she also tends to call him out on his bullshit. [Nagging is one of her love languages!] Bu.ggy huffs at this tendency of hers, but deep down he knows that she wouldn’t do it if she didn’t really care about him. He very much enjoys the attention she gives him in any context. He furthermore appreciates her authenticity even though he doesn’t always know what to do with her… wholesomeness. Whereas Bun appreciates how she can ease up and laugh around him. In the future, Bun protects him from the wrath of her ill-tempered husbands.
Bu.ggy has been desperate to get his best bun to join his crew for a very long time. After she left with Cro.codile after the battle at Mar.ineford, he had a meltdown due the fact she was gone. [Actually he thought she was dead! They got separated during the battle and never regrouped. When Bun eventually came back a few weeks later to collect some of her belongings that were still on the ship, Bu.ggy legitimately thought he was being haunted by her ghost.] Though the two end up working within close proximity when Cross Gu.ild is formed, Bu.ggy still laments she still didn’t choose to join up with him. Listen, the guy is a better friend to her than most would think- however, that doesn’t mean that he still isn’t just a taaaad selfish. 🙄
Bu.ggy has since added some more pastels to his flashy wardrobe, while Bun can semi-frequently be seen wearing oddly clownish makeup [Bu.ggy uses her face as a canvas when she allows it].
[This answer really only included dynamics with canon characters but I simply must give shoutouts to @/mothlover69’s Jinx and @/jj-exe’s JJ!! They are also Bun’s beloved fwiends.]
10. How do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship?
Most folks are baffled as to why/how Bun and Cro.codile ended up together. They became even more confused when Mi.hawk also married Bun years down the line. Bun is very small and kind- her husbands seem like too harsh of people for somebody like her. [Little do they realize how ridiculously soft the are for bun-]
But given that the three seem outwardly content with their dynamic, the rest of the world can only assume that Bun is extremely powerful, having wrangled two former Warlords of the Sea and all! And that assumption is not wrong. uwu
Robin is glad for her friend. She saw Bun and Cro.codile together during their early days, and she knows firsthand how inseparable they are. Bu.ggy does NOT care for his business associates/his best bun's husbands. They eat up her TIME and ATTENTION!! >:o( And he also secretly worries that they're mean to her like how they are to him!! However, the flashy fool has nothing to worry about.
Somebody -> 🦩 may be not-so-secretly seething with jealousy about the relationship, but the details on that matter are better kept hush-hush.
Forbidden Fruit AU
9. Who are your self insert’s closest friends?
Why, Bun’s very best friend in this timeline is the good doctor, D.oc Q! Ca.tarina D.evon and Ku.zan are also quite close with her.
D.oc Q is her ride or die. They have that Horse Girl [or uh, Horse Boy in this case?] 🤝 Rabbit Girl connection. They are both chronically ill [ofc Doc's health issues are much more dire] and count on their prey animal pets to get by: he has his horse Stronger🐴 [mobility aid] and Silva has her lapin🐰 Stratus [ESA]. Doc has a way of knowing what's amiss with Bun before she even knows herself- he furthermore was able to pick up on some of her health issues that she didn't initially disclose to him. Bun assists him with his work when needed- D.oc Q has the MD degree and Bun has the bedside manner, lol. Though she mostly helps him take proper care of Stonger, which is something he is eternally grateful for.
It was Doc who first started referring to Silva as "lucky", which is a judgement that has stuck, though Bun denies it. Bun will sing with others, but Doc is the only person she will sing to. He insists that her low-toned warbles are soothing, that the sound helps him feel better when he's sick. The often have deep discussions about death and the fragility of life. If D.oc Q's mantra is "memento mori", then Bun-Bun Silva is soon to follow with a gentle "memento vivere".
When Ca.tarina Devon first joined the crew, Bun was ecstatic! Being surrounded by a bunch of men all the time was… a bit exhausting, so finally having a woman around was a nice change of pace. Of course, Devon is as rotten as the rest of them, but she found that she couldn’t possibly rain on Bun’s parade. Turns out it’s nice to have a platonic “gal pal” to share the AFAB experience with. They’re both LGBT+, they manifest ~queen~ energy together, and Devon continuously tries to teach Bun how to live the: Gaslight. Gatekeep. Girlboss 💅 way of life. However, Bun is a bit too kindhearted to really adapt that approach to herself. So Devon has to settle for engaging Bun in juicy gossip- which Bun is juuuuuust petty enough to indulge in. 💖💜💅✨
Ku.zan and Silva are alike in ways that set them apart from their other crew members. Both have a capacity for compromise and compassion. They are disenchanted with the World Government; they found they could seek their own freedom and fulfill their own needs by aligning themselves with Bla.ckbeard. Out of everyone else they’re the most socially acceptable out of the bunch. Ku.zan had his world turned on his head, which is a feeling of despair that Bun can relate to on a deep level. She’s always interested to hear what his life was like when he was a Marine, and she always chuckles bitterly when she relates to how his perspective was forced to change. Ku.zan enjoys her ability to match his dry humor- but the ice puns get a little repetitive. Overall they have a seemingly casual, yet actually rather close, friendship!
Oh! And Bun tends to give the latter two unwarranted relationship advice. "You know Devon, maybe you'd have a girlfriend if you didn't keep trying to behead every date you've landed since you've been a free woman! 💀 And Ku.zan! Please tell me you didn't try the 'big bazongas' cold opening on another poor woman again-"
10. How do the other characters feel about your self insert and f/o’s relationship?
The rest of the Bla.ckbeard Pirates wholly support Silva and La.ffitte as a couple! Their union was a product of destiny after all- the two were simply meant to be. None of them would ever deny that fact or attempt to get in the way of their relationship. They’re the crew’s resident lovebirds. [It helps that La.ffitte, in a terrifyingly cheerful manner, makes it clear to any potential newcomers he and his beloved wife are strictly exclusive… and any person who attempts to challenge that will be dealt with accordingly.]
… Though in the beginning, the crew were almost certain Bun would end up with D.oc Q, given how close they are. But it seems fate had other plans in store!
And as for the rest of the world; as for everyone that was close to Bun before she became involved with Te.ach's crew? They're very concerned. The Bun they knew would never associate with a person like that! Something must be wrong. Something must have gone horribly wrong.
... Sir Cr.ocodile is filled with so many regrets...
#yOOOOOOOOO I FINALLY FINISHED THIS!!#it has been rotting in my drafts for weeks!!#thank you so much for sending these asks! they really helped me think about and flesh out some more details in regards to both timelines--#also sorry for swapping bun/silva around so much-#ofc course there is a LOT MORE to be said but I think this will do for now- i probably rambled too much as it is.#[*George Lucas Voice*]: ''I may have gone too far in a few places...''#i adore all of these animated fools#S/I: Bun-Bun Silva#smoking sandman husband#sassy swordsman husband#whimsy rapscallion husband#we didn't start the fire#fairy floss friend#bothersome bug#thou shalt surely die#devon and ku.zan do not have tags as of now 😭#Forbidden Fruit AU
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some of you are dumb as shit and still haven't unlearned the hypervigilance and competitiveness they forced upon you as a """gifted kid""" and it's making you be racist and elitist as hell. go learn some actual fucking solidarity.
#it's like the moment a collective (POC not part of the global west coincidentally!!) needs your help#you start getting all pissy about meritocracy and how it shouldn't be your responsibility or how bothersome it is#for how progressive yall claim to be5if you stepped into any actually respectable irl far left political space#they would NOT stand you and your constant need to prove you are special
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when i love someone i WANT to learn abt their past traumas, their insecurities nd pain so that i can learn how to love them right. i want to understand how i should treat, reassure and comfort them. i want to learn their love languages so i can love them the way they need
#but why.... does no one ever want to do that for me?#i always have to bend and reshape so im as little bothersome as possible#and ppl always say stuff like omg u need to communicate nd u need to tell them blah blah blah#ok but what abt when u actually do all of that but no one listens to u????#i actually do communicate my needs. very clearly#yet... im never heard or listened to#am i just not worth that??? idk.. i dont get it#i just ache to be loved the way i love. bc i know that i love wholly and profoundly#but im gonna run out if i cant receive the love that i need#:((((#also it just hurts to be so understanding and supportive and want ppl to be comfortable#but then i dont get to take up any space or i dont get to have needs#i should only listen but never ask for anything in return#it just sucks#have i done smth wrong??? or am i just an awful person? delusional?#bc i have NEVER been in a space where im safe to express my feelings#not w my family. not friends. not even my therapists lmao (theyve also criticized nd judged me)#so im starting to think that maybe i actually am wrong#maybe if everywhrre i go im met by this. maybe i just need to suck it up#and be grateful for whatever scraps of love im thrown#bc clearly i am doing smth wrong!!!!!!
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Hey y’all, since I’ve seen a couple posts like this, making fun of people for not having sex is not only inconsiderate to asexual people it’s also just… asshole behavior???? Whether or not someone has sex is not only their choice but also none of your fucking business. Why does it matter to you?? Let people live their lives
#asexual#celibacy jokes stop being funny when they start being a way to put other people down#i don’t usually post my thoughts like this#but this was something that was personally bothersome to me#don’t know what to tag this
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