#but this is my blog and i post what i want so

[14dayswithyou]

Some long-term followers may have noticed this subtle shift already (especially those who are in the 14DWY Discord server or have read this post), but I figured I'd make it official.

I'm no longer associating myself with the yandere VN community.

The TLDR is that the energy here really fuckin SUCKS!! And I don't want to be part of something so hostile and needlessly competitive.

The constant infighting and epicaricacy between communities is deeply upsetting, and it's very disheartening to see aspiring developers cancel their projects because of the unwarranted backlash and harassment they face.

Some entitled folks on here reeeeally need to understand that constantly harassing others for updates, encouraging developers to belittle others to make themselves/their project look better, complaining about a project not meeting the expectations you specifically put in place, attacking other communities because of the parasocial relationship you share with another developer, getting mad that you chose to ignore important PSAs or warnings and faced the repercussions, or even sending in hate messages on anon because you're bored are not things you should be doing — let alone be proud of.

I try to avoid bringing up these topics as it's not the vibe I want to have on this blog (nor do I want to negatively contribute to the Streisand Effect and blow things out of proportion), but I'm genuinely getting tired of being on the receiving end of all this harassment and negativity, seeing it happen to others, and watching other indie developers encourage such vile behaviour. I'm done.

For those wondering what this means for "14 Days With You": for the most part, everything will still continue like usual. I've said this from the very beginning, but 14DWY is just a passion project I pursue whenever I feel like it. It's something I do for fun as a hobby — not because I want to publish a well-known game or turn it into a career. I've been on Tumblr for over thirteen years now, and it's taught me how to grow thick skin, so everything that I'm yapping and yammering about won't stop me from working on 14DWY.

However, this does mean that I won't be as interactive with other developers or their communities anymore; many ill-natured people have ruined this for me.

Because of them, I'm no longer able to voice my opinion on other games without some opinionated rat whispering in my ear about how the developer is "problematic" or that I could get cancelled for simply following them on Twitter. I can't interact with certain games without its parasocial community becoming hostile or gatekeepy towards anyone they don't like. I've seen communities belittle and devalue promising demos because in their eyes, nothing can compare to their favourite game (or their favourite developer). I have been harassed, bullied, and doxxed by other communities and have seen the same thing happen to others as well. I've heard about the developers who weaponise their community's loyalty to attack and drive out their competition. And I've witnessed more than enough developers expressing how badly they want to take a hiatus due to how much unwarranted negativity they receive, but don't want to disappoint their community by doing so.

By saying all of this, you can understand why I dislike being here so much, as well as why I no longer find any enjoyment in interacting with the yandere VN community.

Many people here — fans and developers alike — are so needlessly pushy about their standards and personal opinions being the norm, and if anyone else goes against them, they'll purposefully try to ostracise and bully them out of the community. This place isn't as laid-back or inclusive as it used to be, and I don't want to be associated with a community that acts so hostile and aggressive towards anyone who shares a differing opinion — nor do I want to be part of a space that caters towards developers who'll tear down others in order to have a moment of relevancy.

We're all doing our own thing and making our own games; it shouldn't be a competition. But if you see it as such, then I urge you to take a moment to stop and rethink your actions — or, at the very least, understand how it's affecting you and others around you.

So until there's a reasonable change and people can go back to being less... demanding, hypercritical, and gatekeepy about who interacts with what, I'll be stepping away and continuing to stay in my own bubble, as I have for the past two years now. I've already unfollowed everyone associated with the yandere community many months ago, but I think I'll just unfollow everyone entirely now for my own peace of mind. I will also no longer be interacting with any yandere VN communities (aside from close friends), nor will I be as public with my interests from this moment on. Everything on this blog will be strictly related to 14DWY like usual, and I will continue to block and report any spiteful "anons"/burner accounts sent my way and delete their messages.

Again, this isn't really much of an announcement — it's more so just paragraphs of me bitchin and moanin 🫶 — but I wanted to get this all out there instead of leaving things unsaid and having people come to their own conclusions as to why I've suddenly become less active, less optimistic, and why I've stopped engaging with a majority of the yandere community in the last two years.

So, yeah... ^^; If there's anything I want y'all to take away from this entire post, it's to be kind, open, and understanding towards everyone — developers and communities alike — and to spread support rather than negativity. It's what I want my own community to be known for, so please be mindful of how you treat others online.

And if you find yourself being surrounded by constant toxicity and negativity (be it from friends, mutuals, or even other developers or communities), please don't feel ashamed to step away or cut them off entirely. Put yourself and your mental health first. I also think it'll be good for me to leave all this negative energy behind and continue to kick off 2025 in a better light, so if y'all need to let out any frustrations of your own, feel free to go ham in the replies (obviously, be kind and civil though jghsjg T_T)

[mattie24601]

And if you genuinely want a theme specific blog that's what side blogs are for! I mean, that's probably not what most people use them for, but that's how I use mine! My main blog (this one) is so incredibly chaotic and a mix of literally everything, but I have a dedicated sideblog that started as a space to liveblog so I didn't lose those posts, but it's sort of turned into a dedicated fandom space now and that works for me

Hi Tumblr Newbies,

The inevitable new influx of people means a roundup of folks talking about "we don't have an algorithm here," "you NEED to reblog things," etc. and I would just like to offer some actually helpful advice.

One of tumblr's best assets is that it offers you multiple algorithmic feeds, including not having one at all. If you are on mobile, you will notice a "following" tab, followed by a "for you" tab, which is algorithmically generated. "Following" only includes posts from people you follow, in reverse chronological order. That's it. The vast majority of tumblr users prefer it this way, as we predate algorithms.

If you are new and looking to expand what you're finding quickly, you can browse under the algorithmic feed and tweak it once you've followed a few blogs and liked a few things - under "settings," you can choose to have posts related to your likes, or the likes of people you follow.

However - again, most users on this website do not use the algorithm. It's for that reason that reblogging posts is of such importance here. Liking a post is an appreciated sign of goodwill, but for the majority of users, it will not boost the post. Many of use use likes just as a save folder.

So if you genuinely like something you see on here, I encourage you to reblog it, because that is the only way the post will continue to spread around. Almost everyone started their blog with a theme they were loathe to ruin with an unrelated reblog, but by now most of us are just streams of consciousness showing each other things we find funny or interesting, and if you view your blog the same way you will have a much more enjoyable experience.

[thenadnerb02]

IDWTBAMG Fanart

Here’s a little something I drew based on I Don’t Want to be a Magical Girl created by @kianamaiart

It’s all super cool and as a student artist/animator, a lot of the stuff Kiana has posted on her blog regarding the process of making IDWTBAMG has been super helpful knowledge! I plan to look at it as a model for what to do if i (hopefully) ever create an animated series of my own.

So I just want to say thank you. I look forward to what comes next.

[euniexenoblade]

A thing about the "transandrophobia is real" "transmascs don't hold any power over trans women ever" "trans women saying transandrophobia isn't real are terfs" lot is they are so attached to biological sex and assigned sex and the gender binary while trying to claim they're the group against that stuff.

like, i was trying to hold off whining about this again but so many of them keep popping up on my posts so like. look at their blogs. just read. in one post they'll be like "I'M NOT AFAB IM NONBINARYYYY" or "SEX? I HAD SEX WITH YOUR MOM LAST NIGHT" or "AMAB TRANS WOMEN SAYING I CANT BE A TRANS WOMAN CUZ IM AFAB ARE ENFORCING THE GENDER BINARY" or "TME/TMA IS A NEW BINARY" keep scrolling. You'll eventually come across a post that keeps insisting on afab and amab and male and female and if they're really old school you'll start getting mtf and ftm.

And, I hear you, "not everyone knows modern terminology," these are not uneducated ignorant people, these are people who spend all day, every day, arguing with trans women about transmisogyny. Their entire presence on this web site is calling trans women they don't like "scum." They know male/female and mtf/ftm are old and done, they know tme/tma exist and specifically hate it cuz it's language that empowers trans women to talk about their oppression, and their over dependence on afab/amab is 100% because they know male/female on it's own is frowned on.

At one moment they're talking about how they're gender punk, be anything you want forever, the next moment they want you to remember, you're amab. that trans woman? also amab. Amab, amab, male, amab. But you mention they're afab and whoa, a bomb just got set off. You're misgendering them. You're literally committing bigotry against them. Yet, scroll down their blog, you'll find that they refer to themselves as such all the time. Like....

This is just terf ideology dressed up in afabs and amabs. If not terf ideology, it's just one small step from it. But, almost all of them say this kind of thing. But, they turn around and call trans women who are familiar with feminism, and transphobia, and theory "terf" for saying misandry doesn't exist. Or they say "terfs" hate men and that's why they hate trans women cuz they see us as men and it's like. If you are familiar with feminism or misogyny you'd know that, no, terfs don't treat us as men, they treat us as oppressed women. But they aren't well read, they don't understand nuance or deep understandings of bigotry and oppression, so they just take the terf misgendering a trans woman as like. Literal. And they build their entire idea of what a terf is around this, but not the ideology that actually defines what a terf is.

"Transandrophobia is real" people are absolutely upholding biological sex. That's why they get the trans women that ID as male and the trans men that ID as female to join them, "my gender is just complicated don't be mean to me" - you're constantly implying trans women are male and denying our oppression and supporting people that misgender us, your attachment to "male" through all this is not beyond critique, your bigotries absolutely can cause that "complicated" feeling you have.

Every day is some new transandrodork dropping the act. Whether they're saying they want to hunt and kill trans women, or that they think it's ok to stalk and lolcow trans women, or that it's ok to pedojacket trans women, or that it's ok to misgender trans women, or that "sex based oppression is real and trans women are male," or "tma/tme are specifically meant so trans women can groom young trans people," or "dont say men suck :( trans women will see that and think you mean THEM," or whatever. Just watch what they say about "baeddels." Remember, baeddel is a slur for trans women, but if you take it from their perspective it's still trans women. All the horrid shit they say about baeddels, they are saying that specifically about trans women.

Sex as society uses it doesn't exist. It is a scientific enforcement of gendered oppression. I do believe you can be whatever you want. But, I also think you have to remember that we do not live in a gender utopia, free of societal oppression. A "trans woman" is a specific thing in the eyes of society.

[neechees]

While some Gazans have been given a bit of respite during this ceasefire, Israel has continued their attack on Gaza, and Ibrahim's dear friend was martyred very recently. As for his fundraiser, their most recent goal was met (thank you to everyone who has been helping and spreading their fundraiser so far!! You're wonderful!!). However, they've decided to keep fundraising and still need help, as it takes a lot of money to both escape Gaza and rebuild your life. I want my dear friend, a teenage boy from Gaza, to be safe, and I'm sure you do too. We don't know what Israel might do next, and Gazans are still fighting for their lives everyday.

I hope you can find it in your heart to donate, but if you're tight on money at the moment, a reblog will make up for it!! His fundraiser is below, and his vetting proof + information is featured on the pinned post on my blog. Their next short term goal is €60,000, and in total they are 63% of the way there.

[liesonmytongues]

Figured it was about time to post some of my writings since I made this blog specifically for them. Here's a request for a fic on AO3

MILF! Slime girl x Male! Reader

Synopsis- Hot older slime woman goes on a date with you that ends in insane sex

Warnings/CWs- Egregious smut, extremely inaccurate/impossible biology, unrealistic sex and biology, breast expansion, throat fucking, multiple orgasms, cunnilingus, possible body horror (she does some crazy shit), thigh and breast fucking, biting, human/monster romance, Male reader, dirty talk, rough sex

Word count- 3,800

She’s perfect. Perfect in every way- you've never met a woman better than her. And sure, maybe part of that was because she was a slime lady, and you’ve been interested in monster women for a really long time- but this is different, she's just…everything. The first time you saw her was a few days after she'd moved in- she'd been standing outside, tending to the garden that had been totally empty for months- with a kid on her hip and a pretty yellow sundress that stuck to her thighs and tits like a second skin. Every time she touched a plant, she got a little bit of ooze on the leaves. Every time she stepped, it made a plop noise and left behind a sticky footprint, threads of slime connecting her to the ground before snapping. And when she bent over? You got the most perfect view of her pretty tits, bulging out the top of her dress like if she bent over just a tiny bit more they'd pop out. You weren't even able to say hi that day because of how hard just looking at her made you- spending the rest of the night stroking your cock to thoughts of thrusting between her beautiful tits, feeling her slime squish and mold your cock to her body like she was made for you.

She's absolutely perfect.

You weren't even sure she'd want you considering what you were sure was a big age gap- she had baby pudge and rolls and little wrinkles, plus the toddler has to make her at least 10 years older than you, probably closer to 15- but hell, no one gets anything if they don't ask for it, right? So- once you’d had a very long shower to make sure you didn’t embarrass yourself -you asked her on a date. She accepted of course, and after a conversation about how well you’d treat her and where you would go, she got a babysitter and you were on your way. The date went perfectly, and besides a couple close slip ups where you could’ve sworn she was teasing you on purpose, you were the perfect gentleman- you even walked her back to her house at the end and kissed her on the doorstep.

Which is what led you here.

“I’ve never- y’know, uh…” You started and vaguely gestured at her body, kicking off your shoes. She’d basically yanked you inside as soon as you kissed her- pressed you against the door while you tried shoving her in the direction of her bedroom. She won out. Or, more like you couldn’t fight her any longer when your pants were so tight and your zipper was starting to hurt where it pressed into your tip.

“You’ve never had sex?” And she had the gall to smirk and laugh- her body jiggled with it, and little drops of slime slid down her arms and legs and wetted your shirt. Fuck, the ones on her legs looked almost like cum…

“No! No- I’ve just… I’ve never had sex with a slime girl before. Or like…an older woman.” She scoffed at ‘older woman’ and rolled her eyes, but she didn’t stop touching you- so you hadn’t fucked it up yet.

“Oh, well that’s not an issue, is it, baby?” She shrunk down to her knees, making a soft, squishy ‘plop!’ when she landed, and you almost moaned from the visual alone. Every time she touched your pants it left a little wet spot before absorbing back into her, making it feel like you were being caressed directly through your clothes.

“Mmm- ffu-ck,” She moaned when she slipped down the top of her dress, her big, slick tits popping out and hitting your thighs. Your cock has never been this hard in your life, and when she finally got around to unzipping your pants, it basically slapped her in the face.

“Ahh, so eager! See, I knew this wouldn’t be a problem.” She leaned forward, barely gripping your base and rubbing her lips and cheeks against all the skin she could reach. Just sliding her face up and down your shaft felt like humping between a human girls’ thighs, drenching you in her- getting you all slicked without so much as a lick. You already felt like a mess, but it was when she started suckling on your head and stroking the rest of your length that you actually choked up a sound.

“Oh god, you feel so good- fuck, suck it-” Her eyes turned up and she stared at you, lidding every time she took your cock a couple inches deeper. You couldn’t look away, fighting back the urge to close your eyes from how good it already felt- which meant you got the full view of when she sat up a little taller, sliding your erection between her tits. It was hard not to buck your hips directly into her face, especially when she squeezed them together so perfectly. Every time her nipples rubbed on your stomach and thighs, she moaned like a whore, trying to play with them while also keeping a tight hole for you to thrust into. Could she cum like this? It was around then that you could feel slime starting to drip onto your foot, unable to tell if it was just her body or if her pussy was really that wet already- but fuck, you don’t care.

You reached down to help her- to grope her and squeeze that beautiful rack like she clearly wanted -but you froze when you touched them. They were getting bigger. Expanding in your hands, squishing between your thighs and nearly engulfing your balls- and it suddenly struck you that you could see it. See your cock through her slightly transparent body, see the globes squeezing your shaft tighter- they didn't even look like they fit her body anymore. Too big to be proportionate on any woman, you couldn't imagine she would even be able to stand in this state- they'd just cause her to fall face first, with her gorgeous ass up in the air for you to take.

You didn’t care if it was quick- this was too much!

“I'm gonna cum- fuck you're gonna make me cum-” You groaned, tossing your head back and grinding your hips as much as possible with her body pinning you back into the door. Your voice was getting embarrassingly higher pitched with every noise you couldn’t hold back, fucking just your tip into her mouth and lightly slapping her lips every time your cock throbbed. It felt so good! A million times better than your imagination could ever provide during late nights rubbing your cock raw at the thought of this exact scenario. Minus the expanding- that was a welcome surprise

You were cumming before you even had a chance to pull away, gasping and shooting your load over her tits and chin, drenching her. You could watch it drip down her neck, into the crevice of either giant breast and nearly to her navel.

“Really? You haven’t even- ah -touched me yet and you blow your load, j-just like that?” She huffed, still panting and moaning softly, flicking her own nipples and groping herself to get off, licking the cum off her lips while you stood there. You were gonna say something back- something snarky or a rebuttal so she didn’t just get away with making fun of you, but as soon as you opened your mouth she was on her feet and yanking you down the hall. To her bedroom, you realized after a minute.

“Shut up…” You murmured too late to have any bite. Her room was nice, with a big, perfectly made bed smack in the center and a connected bathroom off to the side. You wondered briefly what the rest of the house looked like- where her kid slept, if she had a home office, what her kitchen looked like- but you snapped out of it when she got on the bed with a giggle, laying on her stomach and watching while you undressed. Your pants were sticky from her slime, and you had a hard time peeling them off for a couple of minutes- the strands connecting your thighs to the fabric like saliva might during a kiss. It should’ve felt gross, but the visual of her on her knees, making you that way, just made your cock twitch as you finally got the pants down to the floor. Her mouth suddenly sucking you off was another surprise- considering she was, obviously, on the bed, and you had to have been at least two feet away. You had expected her to have just climbed off the bed without you noticing, but looking at her, that clearly wasn’t the case.

She had turned herself over onto her back, neck stretched at least a foot further than should have been possible- bulging where your cock was nestled down her throat and truly making her look like the monster she was. Just like with her tits, you could make out every detail of your shaft as it slid up and down, contorting her textured esophagus and forcing slime between her lips, dripping down your balls and taint.

“God- you’re such a w-whore- did you need to suck me off so bad that you had to- fuck -mutilate yourself like that?” She whimpered in response, grabbing your hips and manually grinding you into her mouth. You were still sensitive, but she was managing to get you hard again. Really, it didn’t take much- all things considered you’re a little surprised you didn’t blow your load as soon as she started kissing you. Never in your life have you been this turned on, never have you had so many of your most depraved fantasies fulfilled all at once- this is heaven.

“Yeah? Want me to fuck your face? Want me to bruise your throat, feel it every time you swallow?” This has to be a blessing. God you think you might be in love- in love with that soft, wet throat, with the way her tits and pudge and rolls bounce more and more the harder you thrust- your balls slapping her face and making slick ‘plap’ sounds loud enough to nearly drown out her moans and whimpers- every sound sending vibrations through your cock

“Dirty whore- fucking slut, take it- take it, take it-” You aren’t entirely sure when you bent over, but all of a sudden your face is pressed into her thighs, fucking her face, kissing and biting as best you can on slime. Your teeth sink into her like it's nothing, and she just keeps moaning- does she feel pain the same way you do? Does she even need to breathe considering she hadn’t tapped you or tried to pop off your dick yet? It doesn’t matter- you just keep biting and sucking and licking her thighs, pushing them together and burying your face in the crevice. God you want to fuck them- want to shove your cock into them, slide her panties to the side and rub your head against her clit. Want to fondle her tits and make her cum-

“Cumming- cumming again, fuck- swallow it, c’mon-!” You really need to stop getting so carried away with those thoughts. This time, every single gush went down her throat- you could see her swallow. See her throat constrict and milk cum out of your weeping cock, see it go all the way down and settle in her stomach, feel her continue swallowing until you physically couldn’t cum anymore. Only then did she stop, letting you soften and slip out between her lips.

“Ahh- god! Fuck me already! You’ve cum twice and I haven’t even cum once!” She rubbed her thighs together for emphasis, and with your face still right in front of them, you could see her slick- her actual slick, not just her slime -dribble out from under her panties. They were soaked. You had no doubt that if you tried, you’d probably be able to wring them out.

“What, did I suck you dumb? Did your mind come out with everything else?” Fucking hell, it’s not clear whether her attitude is from her age or just being horny, but it’s definitely doing it’s job of making you want to fuck her speechless. It’s not your fault she makes you like this!

“I’m getting to it! It’s not easy when you keep doing that before I even get around to touching you!” This is fun, it really is, but you’re just getting frustrated not being able to do what you want.

“Can’t believe you have such an attitude when you’re the one who basically forced yourself on me.” You murmured, circling the bed and climbing between her plump thighs. The bite marks from earlier were just barely visible, her body already mostly healed up the holes, leaving just little indents. Too bad, but not a problem, you can always make more.

You needed at least a couple minutes to recover, so maybe now you could work on that attitude of hers. Because her body didn’t really have bones or muscle or, like, really anything that made it keep its shape, you were able to take her legs and push her forward until she was bent in half- her calves nearly behind her ears and her ass and pussy up in the air and spread wide. She helped by grabbing the back of her knees, pressing them to her chest and keeping herself spread open like it was the easiest thing in the world while you dove in- licking stripes up her cunt to finally get a taste of her sweet slick. Being see-through made it a tiny bit harder to find her clit, but you got there after a minute, and, figuring she’d probably been edged enough, jumped headfirst into sucking it into your mouth. She wailed as soon as you did, tossing her head back before forcing it forward again so she could look at you.

The angle was a little awkward, but you managed to keep eye contact while you ate her out, moaning into her cunt and watching her try so hard not to let her eyes close in pleasure. She was starting to tear up, whining and moaning and crying out how good you were making her feel every time you sucked or licked stripes up her pussy. Her body was drooling for you too, it was almost difficult to lap at it all, half of her juices getting on your lips and chin and dripping down your neck or her ass. It was almost as good as actually fucking her.

“Fu-uck, fuck, baby, yes-! Oh g-god please, please, please, need your cock!” She cried again, bucking her hips into your face like she was out of control. Your cock had definitely taken interest again, rubbing at the sheets and begging for attention- and if she was asking for it, who are you to deny her? So with her body still bent in half, you started pressing at her cunt.

At first you didn’t mean to just rut between her thighs, but her body and pussy were so wet that it was making it hard to thrust inside- and you realized how good it felt after the third try. Your tip was bumping her clit just like you’d been imagining earlier, and if you pressed her thighs together just tight enough, it almost felt like being inside. Her knees fell onto your shoulder, and you had to wrap both of your arms around those pretty thighs to squeeze them together enough for your liking. Every time you rut against her clit, she wailed and moaned in higher and higher pitches- her pussy spasming against your shaft, begging for you to put it inside already. And humping between her thighs, spreading her lips, bumping her clit every time you thrust, was how she came.

Her back arched off the bed so far it would have snapped in any normal human, mouth gaping wide and legs trembling over your shoulder. Her cum dribbled down her thighs, furthering the mess on the sheets where you'd been eating her out a second ago.

She was having trouble even making sound, too caught up in her orgasm to so much as moan- reduced to gasping and chest spasms until she finally started to come down from her high. You hadn't even known women could cum that hard, let alone ever seen it outside of porn. Fuck everything else from that night- this was the hottest thing you've ever seen.

“Jesus- Christ-” She was laughing in between pants when she could actually talk again. Everything about her looked entirely blissed out- like she was floating on air -and you were struck with the fact that you did all that. You made her this way. Your dick shouldn’t be so hard after everything- but you’d be a damn liar if you said it wasn’t.

She didn’t get any time to relax before you flipped her onto her stomach, her body squelching again with the impact and again when you thrust inside her- needing to grip your cock and spread her pussy to be able to. She was so warm inside, and you found yourself again forcing her body forward until her lower back was nearly touching her shoulders- holding her calves to your chest and fucking her like a wild animal. You were so out of it that you didn’t even notice when her body started changing again until you fell forward, what used to be her legs fusing behind your back, making it hard to keep thrusting. It was like she never wanted you to stop, and the throbbing of her soaked cunt just added to it.

She’s still perfect in every way. Better than any woman you’ve ever met- ever fucked. Better than any fantasy. The shlick sound of your cock fucking in and out, the slapping of your balls against your clit that made her cry and moan and yell, the rough panting that made your lungs ache and her skin even slicker- nothing will ever live up to now. Her pussy keeps clenching around your shaft, spasming every time a gush of slick drips down her folds and makes your thighs as wet as being drenched in lube- making your thrusts even more obscene.

It’s like having sex with a pornstar- someone who has all the experience in the world and all the confidence to use it. She was made to be fucked by you. Made to take your cock over and over, made to cum around you and use her body to force you to keep going. Tendrils of slime slithered out of her torso and around your thighs, wrapping hard around your arteries and making you feel dizzy with the pleasure and loss of circulation- and at the same time, you could swear she was getting smaller. Your hands more easily wrapped around her waist, your cock gripped ever tighter, the bulge in her stomach getting bigger, moving up- she was forcing you to go harder, to push your cock past where it should possibly have been able to go. It felt like you could push into her womb if you tried hard enough- fuck, with her biology, you probably could. Her body wanted you to jackrabbit her cunt until you couldn’t cum anymore, drain you dry and then keep going.

“Ah! Ah! F-uck! Fuck me! Cum inside-” You yanked her torso up, wrapping one arm around her waist and using the other to grope her perfect, stunning, massive tits, rolling her nipples between your fingers- and she came again from the stimulation, screaming your name. Her pussy spasming and squeezing so hard you couldn’t pull out, a sudden spray of liquid absolutely destroying any bedding that was still clean- she was squirting on you. You couldn’t hold back after the sudden pressure- pulling her flush to your chest and cumming deep inside -your cum visibly shooting through her ribbed inside and against her cervix.

And promptly falling directly on top of her, face first into the ruined sheets. Your body was past the point of exhaustion- you couldn’t keep going. And seemingly, neither could she. Little, overstimulated moans and whimpers escaped her mouth, her body jolting and smaller waves of squirt leaking out of her hole- you’d be shocked if either of you would be able to move in the morning.

“Thank you- thank you…” Kissing her gently, rolling both of you over and gently pulling out of her abused cunt- eliciting another whine. You peppered more kisses over her face and neck, careful to put your hands somewhere that wouldn’t keep stimulating her poor body- even if that was a bit of a challenge considering how sensitive she is.

“I need to get up- need to clean us up. C’mon…” You pried softly at the tendrils and fused legs still wrapped around your entire lower body, but she was reluctant to let go.

“I’ll be right back.” A few more kisses.

“You promise?” She turned her face so you would kiss her lips.

“Promise, I’ll come back and stay the night.” You did what she wanted, leaving a long, soft kiss to her lips, waiting for her tendrils to go back and her legs to reform. It took a couple of minutes, and some more sweet words, but when her body eventually went back to normal, you were able to stand on wobbly feet and find her bathroom. You're not sure how exactly slime people bathe, or if they can even use towels and the like without getting absorbed or something, but you did find a soft cloth. You wiped yourself off first, hissing at the feeling of something on your oversensitive cock and thighs- then rinse, wring, repeat. Your new lover was exactly where you’d left her, and the only movements she gave you while you cleaned her up were twitches and little whines of ‘too much’ when you wiped a particularly sensitive spot. It was easy, and when you were both somewhat clean- and had somehow managed to yank the sheets off the bed and lay a clean blanket down -you finally went back to her and gave her what you promised.

Her whole body wrapped around yours, doing the same thing as earlier and fusing together, forcing you to stay still. You probably wouldn’t be able to convince her to let you go again, so it was best to accept it- and as soon as you did, you could hear her softly snoring.

You weren’t far behind, holding this perfect woman to your body, sinking your fingers into her slime, and letting yourself rest.

[twomanyfandomshelp]

Thanks for the tag! Mine doesn’t really have a fun story I’m afraid.

My first username was Percabeth5ever because at the time it was my Wattpad user and I figured I might as well make it the same. But then I stopped using Wattpad and went over to ao3 and I think that user was taken so I had to come up with something else. Also, this was about when I decided I actually wanted to start posting on tumblr instead of just scrolling and liking. My name suggested it would be a Percy Jackson blog, and I wanted to change it so that I had the freedom to post about whatever stuff I wanted, and I’m in a lot of fandoms, so I tried toomanyfandomshelp, but that was taken, so now I’m twomanyfandomshelp. On ao3 I’m TwoManyFandomsHELP!, but I haven’t written anything, I just read a lot of stuff from a lot of different fandoms, so ya know it translates to over there as well.

So, yeah, that’s the story of my username. What’s your’s?

@sushis-mylifeee @ivys-garden @thekingofworems @the-stars-are-ineffable @kingofdandelions @sushi1056 @nyx-of-darkness-1620 @aaronofithaca05 @theghostnamedspecter @rubbercrowy @imobsessedwiththeatre @donutsalami @azoperoa @theylovewinnie @rosegoldenatlas @chaoticrei @moutainrusing @cherrytea556 @harley-the-pancake @thatstevenuniversegay @forest-city @chaotic-agender @alphabetical-az @janru-writer @fallenrain40 @shamelesswolfstarshipper @jarondont @magicalmyths @a-fucking-tornado @poppitron360 @neilarissa @theoneandonlypatches @theconfusedbookshrimp @shellywith2ls @yourlocalbadgerscales @g0blinm0d3 @stargazing-with-friends @nyx-taylors-version @lezberrycake @codexnuminous @little-goblin-in-the-forest @whimsicalwordsmith53 @spiderboi-parker @nyyx-xoxx @scarletbeast + anyone else who wants to join in!

Tag game🎉

Tag your moots and ask them where they got the idea for their tumblr accounts name!

For my name it was a nickname I was giving back in middleschool! One of our teacher had a system where we worked with 'wifi' eachtime we talked in class we lost a bar of the "wifi" (was a weird joke and we never held count on that) All the kids usually joked if they needed 'wifi' , they would borrow mine if they wanted to talk more. (I was incredibly shy in middle school, I only talked to like 3 people at school;^;)

They called me Ms. Wifi because of that. I just thought it would be funny if I put 'miss' instead of 'ms' because of my terrible actual wifi connection I have at home lol.

That's my story! Now moots, only if you guys want to, tell us your story.

Tags-> @slipping-lately @firequeenofficial @noagskryf @twinklstarrrr @halfbakedspuds @polterwasteist @rokushi-san @mygedagtes +anyone that sees this and wants to do this as well

[conceptualsolitude]

Hi!!! I saw that you made a new post and I just wanted to say that you were one of the first people I followed many years ago when I made this blog and reading through all your words (I would scroll all the way to the bottom to your first post, like every other night before sleeping) got me through some rough times in high school and probably changed the trajectory of, like, who I am. It’s been a while since I went through this blog but I remember I had some of your art as my phone cases for years, and I still have them in a box somewhere (they used to hang on my wall when not on my phone) just because I was so into all that you did. I will have to scroll and find it, but one of your posts, it was something about Tomorrow, and Not Being Afraid, and though I can’t recall the exact words, I remember one night specially where I was so close to quitting a lot of things, because I could not handle the pressure of being around people or doing things or generally existing, and I read that before I went to bed and I remember it felt like seeing brand new colors bloom in my pitch black bedroom, like some kind of explosion of the mind (in a good way). And I repeated the words to myself as I fell asleep, and then when I got up before the sun I still spoke them, all the way until I got to what I was dreading and started my day. And that day was different, this is where it gets murky, but I remember that that day was so different, because I was different. And things just got Better for me after that. Like I said it’s been a while since I went through this blog, but I would check in some times the past couple years wondering if you posted again, and even if you don’t want to come back fully it was really nice to see your words again on my dash :) I think tomorrow afternoon ill scroll and try to get to the bottom of your blog like I used to (I can’t do it now, it’s kinda late for me and I try to get good sleep these days instead of scrolling tumblr all night like I used to haha). Anyway if you see this or read this no pressure to reply I’m not really expecting one, I just wanted to tell you, thank you.

this msg has been in my inbox for over a year and i was gonna keep it there but i think i'd like to share... it makes me very very happy and like this did all mean something good... thank you for being on this journey with me... it has meant a lot to me over the years and i think about it often

[breelandwalker]

Hi Bree.

I know your blog is really witchcraft stuff, but I saw the post you reblogged with the modern four Humorous joke and thought you might kinda understand what I'm talking about and I need to say this to someone or I'm going to explode.

So, I am interested in medicinal herbalism and things like home remedies, but instead of it being from the "oh, miracle plants that heal people because it helps *balance your soul*!" I'm specifically interested in the historical "this is how people used what they had" and scientific "many of these plants contain chemicals that can affect the body in different ways"....... which means watching some of these videos makes me want to strangle people.

(These are (sadly) all based on real videos I've actually seen, by the way)

"These herbs are ~cooling~ and will help you keep cool this summer. They affect the body on a cellular-"

[That's lavender and hibiscus. They are cooling you down because they are lowering your blood pressure, which is why people with things like POTS or just low blood pressure need to be careful not to drink too much.]

"If you don't like the idea of yucky chemical morphine try this inste-"

[Those are poppies. Those are poppy seeds. Thats... you just made shitty opium. Your solution to morphine is.... shitty low-grade unrefined morphine. Got it.]

"Try taking these herbs for a three month **parasite cleanse**. They were used in the ~**ancient times**~ but modern medicine has decided that they're not good enough-"

[That is tansy and FUCKING WORMWOOD- yes people used them for insects replant and parasites in the MIDDLE AGES but now we DON'T. Do you know why? No, its not because they're 'not good enough'. It's because they both contain a neruotoxin that will kill if taken to long (which is about a month, by the way) or at too high a dose. We don't use them because they are dangerous, and if you keep at this, you are going to kill someone.]

"Try these three plants to balance your-"

[Stop talking. Just. Stop.]

Don't get me wrong, I absolutely don't mind superstition or spirituality or anything like that. I'm a witch. I'd be stupid to disapprove of something like that when I do shit like that. But there are times when you need to leave the pointy hat by the door, and medicine is one of them. (Especially herbalism, because plants are unrefined and unpredictable and can absolutely kill or hurt people.)

OH MY VARIOUS GODS, I DIDN'T EXPECT TO BE THAT ACCURATE. 😂

I mean, the mentality behind the wellness movement is FIRMLY rooted in ableism, eugenics, and pseudoscience, but every so often it's brought home to me just how much of it is buzzwords and jargon that mean absolutely nothing.

Modern medicine is just potions that work reliably and wellness influencers need to STOP, it's fuckin embarrassing.

(Referring to this post - The Four Wellness Humors)

[torturedtypewritersdept]

blue eyes + bruises - part five

✯ pairing:

doctor!rafe cameron x fem!reader

✯ summary:

a tragic car accident looks like it'll be the end for you, but dr. cameron is here to make sure that doesn't happen.

✯ warnings:

mature themes, mentions of anxiety, nostalgia, and fear, car accident, death of a spouse (not rafe or y/n), major surgery, injuries, hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, etc.

✯ a/n:

nothing!! please don't engage if you have a hard time with any of these topics <3 this was origianlly posted on my old blog @/illicitfixations, @/lovelornanonymity back in 2021/2022 and i have rewritten + reshared it here :) the next chapter i spent literally so much time on and i can't wait to share it!!!!

—

Running. Rafe had always been inherently good at running. It was noticed for the first time in middle school by the track and field coach when he outran a bully. The talent was nurtured and he went on to be a track star in high school and college. It was a good skill for a surgeon to have in the midst of an emergency, the ability to run with dexterity and endurance and speed. At least that’s what Molly had convinced him of so she could ogle at his muscular thighs and chest at every track meet. God, did he miss her. The one thing he never thought he would have to run to is his girl, his wife, his molly, as she was wheeled into the emergency room. The words of the surgeon on her case played over and over in Rafe’s head – no matter where he was or what he was doing – the flashback of that night, of those words in that setting – about his wife – it was all too much, no matter how long she had been gone. 

“Rafe, I’m so sorry. We did everything we could.” 

Dr. Charles Richardson looked his colleague, his friend, in the eye with a somber gaze. It felt to Rafe like the look of someone after they had spent an entire afternoon reading Edgar Allen Poe. The look in Charles’ eye made him angry. It wasn’t because of the circumstances, it was because he knew what the look meant – it meant his wife was gone. It meant Charles was looking at him the way he looks at a patient’s family and Rafe, while he was her family, he knew the speech, he knew the words, he knew this world. He knew it was all bullshit.

“Don’t bullshit me, Charles. If my wife is dead, tell me she’s dead.”  

He growled. 

“I’m sorry, Rafe.” 

“You keep saying you’re sorry – say the fucking words. I need to hear you say the words. Not ‘I did everything I could’, not ‘I'm so sorry.’ You say the fucking words you coward.” 

“She’s gone, buddy. She’s gone.” 

—

Rafe was jolted out of his thoughts, out of the memory he had been encapsulated in for the last two years as you stirred awake. He sat there watching you, the steady rise and fall of your chest doing little to comfort him, though he knew it meant you were alive. His eyes moved from your sweet face to your leg that he had previously operated on, a black hinged brace lined it where it sat elevated against three pillows in an attempt to keep the swelling minimal. You looked so fragile, yet incredibly ethereal and soft and he couldn’t help but stare. It was impossible not to stare at something, someone that beautiful. To grow up that beautiful — he wondered what that was like as he sat there ogling at you. He pondered if he should let himself go there with you, if he could let himself feel the rush and the high of serotonin and dopamine that he clinically knew would be released if he was to allow himself to love again. Was he selfish for wanting to be happy? Was he chaos on two feet? Was he damnation on earth the way that he had convinced himself he was? What would become of you, if you were to love him? Would you wind up just like her? 

He forced his overactive brain to stop spinning once he noticed your eyes were open and he brushed his fingers against your forehead. 

“Hey, sweet girl. Welcome back.” 

He cooed, his fingers running up and down the bridge of your nose and across your eyebrows in the shape of a “T”. 

“Hi.” 

You croaked out, throat dry and begging for a source of water. Rafe obliged, rising to his feet as his brain recognized your desperation, hearing the desert within your windpipe and bringing the water up to your lips with a straw. 

“Suck slowly, okay?” 

He instructed, running his fingers through your hair slowly and you followed his directions. 

“How’s the pain?” 

He questioned with a softness that you were convinced was less about him being a good doctor and more about him just being who he was – just being a good person. 

“Like a five maybe. You’re still here?” 

You lied, not wanting to see the life leave his blue eyes when you told him otherwise. 

“That’s good. Yeah, I just wanted to sit with you for a while. Is that okay?” 

He smiled softly, questioning you.

“Of course it is. Can I go back to sleep? I mean, will you be here when I wake up if I do?” 

You questioned, a curiosity looming in your features, unsure why you would’ve stayed up if it meant more time with him.

“Absolutely, sweet girl. I’ll always be here.” 

He smiled, sitting next to you, rubbing soothing circles into the top of your head as you drifted off to sleep. You weren’t sure what it was, but you knew that he was telling the truth, that somehow he’d always be around.

—

You looked up at Rafe as he moved around you, fluffing the pillows behind your head, you sat at an incline in the bed again, trying desperately to reach the tv remote that sat on the table beside you. He had been talking – asking you questions about your day, as if you had done anything except lay here, again. But, all you could think about is the fact that your favorite movie was coming on tv in less than thirty minutes and it was a simple pleasure you were going to indulge yourself in. You shut your eyes tight, squeezing them against your eyelashes with the force of a thousand suns. Rafe must’ve noticed the pained expression on your face because before you could even ride out the wave of discomfort, he had the remote in his hands and he was kneeling in front of you, squatting on the balls of his feet.

“Hey, sweet girl, can you look at me?” 

He asked kindly and when the torment had subsided enough you blinked your eyes open, his piercing blue ones staring back into yours. 

“What is it, from 1-10? and don’t bullshit me this time.” 

His voice was soft but stern and you knew he meant business. 

“It’s a nine.” 

You said, grunting exasperatedly, frustrated and tired and sick – of – this. 

“Shit – sweetheart you can’t let it get that bad before you tell me and why are you putting yourself in more pain by reaching for this? You could’ve asked me, I’m right here.” 

He blurted out his questions in a brash way, waving the remote control in the air.

“My favorite movie is coming on, I just –, sorry, I’m just –” 

A whimper escaped your lips as you stuttered and Rafe moved toward you again, bringing your chin in between his thumb and pointer finger, tilting your head up towards him as he took in the tears that lined your eyes. His heart broke at the sight. 

“Hey – I know, sweetheart. You don’t have to be sorry, I know you’re frustrated.” 

“How do you know how I feel?” 

You questioned him with a hint of attitude. In your mind, it didn’t matter how many people he had operated on with your same injuries, he hadn’t lived it and because of that fact, he didn’t understand. 

“Let me guess, you’re frustrated, annoyed, tired, sad and really wanting a shower?” 

He asked you with a light chuckle, smiling the Rafe Cameron smile as you looked up at him with bewildered eyes. 

“How could you possibly know any of that?” 

You questioned him, confused. Did he go through this, physically? Did this sweet, sweet man hurt the same way that you had?

“Because I’ve been where you are.” 

He stated very matter-of-factly and you were confused.

“You cracked your bones in a million places, too?” 

Had he been through this, too?

“No, but I’ve been in a situation that was eerily similar.” 

You were silent at his declaration, wondering what situation he was referring to. 

“I can’t do much for you about a shower, it’s only been three days since your surgery and with you in this much pain, I don’t want you up and moving. But I can have Jenni give you a sponge bath. Would you be up for that?” 

“Yes, please. That would – be amazing.” 

He nodded and gave you the Rafe Cameron smile again, leaning in and placing a kiss on your forehead. Jenni and another nurse stepped into the room with everything they needed, setting up a bucket of water, some hypoallergenic soap and a sponge on the rolling table that each hospital room came with. Once they had everything set up, Rafe stepped out, being the gentleman he was, he wanted you to have privacy and he definitely didn’t want the first time he saw you naked to be in a hospital bed. 

“He’s quite dreamy, isn’t he?” 

A nurse that stood beside Jenni spoke into the air and your breath faltered. Were you that obvious? If this blonde bimbo picked up it – he probably did too. How fucking embarassing. Rafe had left the room only moments ago with a promise to come check on you shortly, but you so desperately wished he would save you from this woman as she stood in front of you preparing to strip you bare and see the most intimate parts of you, though it felt like she already had. 

“He’s very nice to me.” 

You stated, nodding with a soft smile though your tone was a bit curt. Jenni’s pager went off, signaling another emergency in the hall. 

“Shit – I'll be right back.” 

She muttered, running out of the room in a hurried fashion. The other nurse, who’s name you couldn’t bring yourself to remember, looked at the door as Jenni exited through the threshold – you were sure your recollection, or lack thereof, had more to do with the meds and less to do with her and the shitty vibe she gave off. She worked diligently, pulling down the hospital gown, noting the stitches that lined your chest as she drug the sponge gently over your soft skin. 

“Don’t worry, he’ll get you better and forget you ever existed. He won’t give any of us nurses the time of day. Don’t get your hopes up. Besides – look at you.” 

She replied, rolling her eyes as the words left her mouth. ‘What a bitter bitch’, you thought. You bit your tongue for only a moment before deciding to fully send it – there was nothing she could do to you – you were already bedridden, recovering from surgery and would be for the next few months – there was nothing she could do to you. 

“You know, maybe Rafe hasn’t given you the time of day because your personality fucking sucks, just a thought.” 

You spoke nonchalantly and before she could respond, she laid down the sponge she was using to bathe you with on top of your chest, took off her gloves and dug her long, manicured finger into the incision site Rafe had just stitched up on your hip. Your yelp was so loud Rafe heard it from the hallway, where he stood at the nurse’s station, finishing off your surgical notes. Suddenly, the hammering in his chest overtook him and he rushed into your room to see if you were experiencing post-operative pain or if something else was wrong. What he never expected to see was a nurse, finger deep into a surgical incision and you – your sweet face with tears cascading down it as your eyes pleaded for him. 

“What the fuck are you doing to her?!” 

He growled, rushing to your side, pushing her to the side and grabbing gauze off the table next to your bed, immediately holding it to your hip to stop the bleeding. 

“I know, baby – I know it hurts. I’m sorry, I’m gonna fix it, okay?” 

He pulled the gauze away from your hip and Jenni rushed into the room, taking in the sight of your stitches that were fresh and clean and showing signs of healing only minutes ago and were now torn and bloody and frayed like the pages of an old book. 

“What the fuck happened, Rafe?” 

Jenni all but squealed, rummaging through drawers searching for more gauze and a suture kit. 

“F-f-fingers –” 

You choked out, crocodile tears rolling down your bright pink cheeks as your fists clenched the sheets beside you. 

“Sweet girl, we’re gonna fix it, okay?” 

“No, R-rafe!” 

“What do you mean, no, sweetheart? Talk to me.” 

“Can’t do it anymore, can’t keep getting fixed. I’m not a stuffed animal that you can just keep sewing back up until all the stuffing has fallen out.” 

He cooed, brushing the hair away from your forehead. 

“I know, baby – I know you’re tired. But, if we don’t fix it you’ll get an infection and you’ll get sick okay? We have to fix it, sweet girl.” 

You reluctantly nodded, letting him work, continuing to wail as each stitch was placed into your hip again, the skin irritated and sore and only adding to the discomfort that raked through your entire body. It was almost like Rafe knew when your breaths picked up and the weight of your new reality had fallen on your chest because he started asking questions – questions that you hadn’t answered – questions that no one had bothered to ask you in years. 

“So, what did you do before – I mean, I can only assume you don’t frequent hospitals very often? Unless you’re one of those crazy people. Are you one of those crazy people?” 

You threw your hand up to your mouth and let out a giggle. 

“You’re cute when you ramble, Rafe.” 

His lips turned up into a smirk. Your pain filled haze had you simply not caring about flirting with the man in front of you.

“Oh, so you think I’m cute?” 

He questioned, eyebrows furrowed, laughing as he checked the fluids that hung behind your bed. Your face was red, realizing what you had previously said to him once his words had reached your ears. You wished the bed you laid in would swallow you whole, scared to look this beautiful man in the eye and face rejection. There’s no way the feeling is reciprocated. 

“I mean, yeah. You’re an attractive guy, you’ve gotta know that.”

You stuttered out awkwardly and he simply giggled at the way you were shrinking into yourself, embarrassed at the compliment you had given him.

“Sweetheart, don’t be embarrassed. It’s okay, I’m flattered.” 

He smiled – the Rafe Cameron smile – rubbing circles into your hand as you took in the words that left his lips. 

He’s flattered. That’s what you say when you’re trying to let someone down easily. He doesn’t reciprocate and how could he? Just look at you. 

The assault on your heart at the mercy of your brain was interrupted quickly by Rafe’s voice again. 

“So, what did you do before? For work, I mean. You never answered my question.” 

“Okay, nosey. I’m – well – I was a high school English teacher.” 

You replied, with a sad smile. 

“What made you want to teach?” 

He asked, interested in everything that involved you.

“My younger sister, Ella has special needs and she wasn’t always treated fairly in the classroom; so I just wanted to make sure no child ever experienced that again.” 

“You know what that tells me?” 

He asked, a sly smile dancing across his face.

“What?” 

You wondered out loud.

“It tells me that you’re sweet and a good person and that you could’ve never deserved for this to happen.” 

“Thank you, Rafe –” 

He looked at you as tears fell down your face.

“Sweetheart, what can I do?” 

You didn’t answer him and your breaths only seem to quicken by the second and before Rafe could even think, he had kicked off his shoes and climbed in the bed with you, wrapping his arms around you tightly, one hand draping across your waist and one around the back of your head, pooling your hair in his hands. 

“Shh. It’s okay, baby. I’m so sorry.” 

He cooed. 

“I-I’m never gonna b-be the same am I? I-I’ll n-never b-be able to teach again.” 

You whimpered, crying into his chest. 

“Hey, sweet girl, don’t say that. I’m gonna do everything in my power to make sure you teach again, okay? I won’t let anyone take that away from you, ever.” 

His voice was soft and tender, afraid the wrong octave might rip you in half and you’d cease to exist right then and there. 

“Do you understand? I won’t let that happen.” 

This time he spoke with more force and you nodded your head reluctantly, unsure if you really believed him or not. 

“Tell me something to make me forget, Rafe – What made you want to become a doctor?” 

You questioned and he was uncomfortable, but the pleading look in your eyes made him answer anyway.

“It’s not a story full of glory, sweetheart. How about I tell you a better one, huh? How’s that sound?” 

He questioned, his hands working against your scalp like his life depended on it. 

“That sounds good.” 

You replied, somberly, wondering what kind of hurt this beautiful, sweet human being had experienced to make him so closed off about his own life. 

“Well – once upon a time, there was this doctor and he was a real asshole until this pretty girl walked into the hospital he worked at.” 

“What did she look like?” 

You questioned with curiosity-stricken features. He smiled at you, how he was the only one who got to see you like this. He couldn’t help but feel honored. 

“I think she looked a lot like you, sweetheart.” 

Your breath is caught in your throat at the fact that those words were coming from him. His hand motions continue against your scalp as you listen to his words, the euphoria that’s felt from the action is something you aren’t sure you’ve ever felt in your entire life. 

“I’m glad I found you, Rafe.” 

You mutter sleepily, listening to him continue the details of the stranger's beauty, who in his words, looked similar to you, before you promptly fell asleep.

“And I’m glad I found you, angel.” 

He whispers, continuing to rub soothing circles into your hair, letting you cuddle deeper into him and for the first time Rafe had felt warmth in someone that wasn’t Molly. He had felt warmth and goodness and it wasn’t from her and it simply scared him half to death. 

—

taglist:

as always, if you'd like to be added to or removed from the taglist, please shoot me an ask or comment on this post so i can keep track <3

@maybankslover @inthelibrarybtw @luvrcndy @silkylovey @yagirlwrites @obxbabygirl @rafeecameronsbitch @klutzy-kay24 @roseczbalt @akobx @allsmilesreally7 @wtfdudesblog @urdreamgirl12 @hockeybabe87 @sereneera @annaconscience @pogueprincesa @bibissparkles @obxbigsis

[rincent-van-uggh]

This is what I like tumblr for, I mean, you totally can have a side-hustle here, but it doesn't feel like there's a massive pressure to do so. Partly because of the culture here, and partly because of the design of the site. Follower counts being private means there really isn't a popularity contest, most of the time I have no idea how big any blog is, while on other sites it's one of the main things you see when you view an account, and it's hard not to think about. Posting in that context feels like a slippery slope to Caring A Lot About How The Posts Are Performing, while on tumblr I seldom think about the numbers my posts are getting, (at most I am hoping for interaction, because talking to people is genuinely fun).

I realised a pretty weird phenomenon with social media, at least in my personal experience, is that it can start to become a side hustle even if you aren't selling anything. Like, in the past I have thought about my posting schedule and keeping my accounts active and making a cohesive look to my account, a cohesive brand. And I have never in my life been doing any kind of business on social media. I am just some guy. I feel like I get tricked by these very influencer-oriented platforms into treating my social media like a job rather than, well basically a toy. Social media is a digital toy where I play with my friends. That's what I want it to be anyway.

Ages ago I made the decision that I was going to pick a hobby and intentionally never discuss it on social media, so I had at least one thing I knew would never be at risk of becoming an online side hustle. There are plenty of other things I don't really talk about on social media, but I wanted to intentionally choose a hobby to enforce it with.

I encourage others to do the same if they can. Turning everything into content and a side hustle will kill you.

[valar-did-me-wrong]

I keep seeing this sentiment among people that"the showrunners are giving into /going to give into Tolkien dude bros" and before too many fans actually start believing all this I jusy want to remind everyone somethings about..

The Hate Storm of 2022 🌪️

And how back then this show stood up with Ismael, Sophia, Cynthia, Morfydd, Sara, Lenny Meghan & Markella when the online hate was 1000000000000x worse than what you see rn.

If you weren't tuned into ROP back then, I assure you whatever vitriol you see about the show rn on twitter or ragetube is nothing compared to what was happening in 2022.

On sites like Instagram, not only bots & racists but even normal regular people used to directly bully you and pile on if you left even a single positive emoji in the show's comments.

Even many left leaning Tolkien blogs here were parroting lore points (originating on racist youtube channels) that were based solely on PJ movies, praising WB like it was a non-profit fighting against world hunger & warning to block ROP blogs on sight for watching a show made by Christian men

(PROF. TOLKIEN WAS A HINDU MONK WHO SOLELY WORE SAFFRON DHOTI I GUESS RIGHT?!?)

It was so much that back then the official trop Instagram account DELETED all their promotional photos, cast intros, teasers, trailers EVERYTHING to post a statment that condemned all the racist & horribly misogynistic vitriol thrown at the POC & female cast of the show.

They did all this when the hate campaigners were publically encouraging masses to review bomb ROP across internet to the point that IMDb had to suspend posting user ratings of the show without reviewing them first.

And the global public sentiment was basically hacked by loud incessant misinformation, lies and rage bait that made it trendy & even progressive to bash on the show.

Now despite all this the showrunners stood by their creative choices & actors back then just how they are doing it rn imo..

Remember when the Haters™ complained about Arondir being "too good of a warrior to be true"?? The show did not let that change their decision of showing Arondir as an exceptionally skilled warrior. Even in S2 when his storyline got disturbed by Nazanin leaving, they made sure to give him as many action sequences as possible, made him fight beside and more than High King Gil Galad of the Noldor & Elrond freaking Peredhel in the Siege.. even highlighted all this in BTS videos.

And when the the internet pushed that Galadriel should not be fighting on the frontline but rather float in forests?? They reminded the lore bros of Nerwen with her hairstyle exactly how Tolkien wrote and still made her fight orcs, rescue survivors, negotiate sucessful peace treaties, duel with Sauron & kick his ass in an ultimate finale showdown.

And orc family hate?? Despite all the loud nonsense around it they highlighted it with dedicated posts & Tolkien quotes instead of hiding it away.

And finally, despite consistent continuous complaints against the Harfoot storyline, they did not shrink it or write it out.. because in their vision of Tolkien the little guys & their stories are important so they stay, even going into S3.

I'm not saying there aren't any problems with their depiction of POC characters or writing or pacing. There DEFINITELY are, I mean look at who all died among Elrond's company... The problems especially with minor POC characters are there & VERY visible in S2. (which I hope they fix in future seasons)

But imo these things aren't because the show wants to please racist ragetubers or try to win over a group of Tolkien fanatics who will never become show fans anyway. You, me, my dog, the Haters™ and even Mcpayne know this.. it's common sense atp.

All to say this show was literally forged in the fires of Internet hate storms, I don't think the pathetic flicker of the remaining Haters matters to the showrunners anymore.

(Also the ratings people keep using to scare the fans are US ONLY ratings & data, there's a whole world out here beyond US & the show remained in the Prime top shows across many countries for weeks & weeks after the S2 finale.. and the constant stream of new viewers that are starting the show for the first time just on this website should be proof enough that the show is doing fine) Don't let the show haters' talking points get to you!

Season 3 is, for all intents & purposes, already green lit and ROP is going to complete the story it started out to tell.. don't worry needlessly :)

edited Tolkien lore bros to Tolkien dude bros (I'm not saying all masc fans of Tolkien are racist sexists I promise, it's just a term we use here 😭) after someone from outside of ROP pointed they have a problem.. clarifying things here also, if you love Tolkien & dislike ROP for reasons other than female lead/POC characters/not a copy of PJ = bad etc etc, I've no problem with your personal opinions & this post is not about you :)

[crowsofdarkness]

Truth: One Shot

-gif not mine. credit to owner-

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 8,799

Content Warnings: language, angst, tiny bit of violence, mentions of death, mentions of drunk driving, alcoholism, and implied smut.

Summary: A next door neighbor bound with secrets; one of which nearly breaks you from the inside out.

-originally posted on my old blog-

I walked up the last few steps towards my apartment, the long and emotional day finally catching up to me. The three hour drive turned into a six hour and with half of my day gone, the thought of climbing into bed brought a soft smile to my lips. The amount of people I had to plaster a fake smile for mentally drained me so I was thankful I didn’t have to see anyone for the next 12 hours until someone undoubtedly face-timed me to check in. 

Grief wasn’t something I expected to deal with overnight and the support was nice when needed. But it had been years since that night, I was at the point in my life where I was ready to finally move on and accept it, even if his family continued to check in every day. 

Whatever joy I felt about being able to quickly slip inside and into my bed left my body when I noticed two guys hanging around the apartment door across from mine, chatting amongst themselves. Internally I groaned when I knew that I wasn’t going to go unnoticed by them. Almost every day one of them would ask for my number or ask to come inside. It never got physical and they accepted no the first time. 

It still bothered me that they tried every day. 

“Hey baby, why the long face?” One of the guys asked. 

Not wanting to deal with any of them today, I ignored them and reached my door in a quick flash, ready to get this interaction over with. However the other guy had stepped in front of me to block me from entering my apartment. 

Unbeknownst to them, I had gripped my car key in between my fingers; to be safe. 

“Please move. I’m not in the mood tonight.” I threatened. 

He licked his lips. “Come on. One night with us will change your mood. I guarantee it.” 

I sliced my eyes into him. “Move. Now.” 

He didn’t budge and the other guy was now lurking behind me. My heart hammered in my chest, not knowing what was to come. The key could only do so much damage with the two of them. 

“Everything alright?” 

I looked over my shoulder and let out a long breath of relief when I saw my next door neighbor leaning against his doorway, concern etched on his face.

“Doesn’t concern you.” The guy behind me said while not taking his eyes off of the back of my head. 

“I think it does,” my neighbor said. 

The guy that was blocking my path inside didn't bother to see who my neighbor was before he spoke up. 

“Man, get back inside. She's fine!”

“She doesn’t look fine.” 

The same guy grabbed my hand, ignoring my neighbor, and led me towards my door giving an extra hard push. 

“Tell him babe, you’re with us.” 

I haven't officially met my neighbor, only seeing him in passing, so I hoped he understood the look of despair I gazed his way. If that didn’t catch on, the way I mouthed ‘help’ should have. 

Before I could register what had happened, my neighbor had the guy behind me on the floor clutching his stomach and the guy in front of me pinned up on the wall, gloved fingers around his throat. By the look of fear in their eyes, it was clear that they finally realized who saved me. 

“I don’t want to see you lurking around here or bothering her again, understand?” 

They guys were out of sight in seconds, not wanting to get on the wrong side of my neighbor again. 

“You alright?” He asked while giving me a quick once over with his intense eyes. 

I nodded, my heart calming down. “Yeah, thank you for that. They always hang around but never got that close before.” 

My neighbor nodded. “Well, I’m glad you’re okay.” 

He went to walk back into his apartment but my quiet voice stopped him. 

“Thank you again, Mr. Barnes.” 

He turned to face me once again. “You can call me Bucky. I’m around anytime if you need something.” 

We shared a small smile before slipping into our own apartments. 

The quiet solace of my apartment was everything I needed after the absolute hell of a morning I had. I never meant to raise my voice at her, she was hurting too, but she was asking questions that I didn’t even know the answer to. 

“I never said I don’t miss him, Barb. It’s just been so long that I can’t keep dwelling on the what if’s.” 

“How can you say that? Don’t you want to know what happened to him?” 

“Of course I do! But there’s no leads; no answers. I don’t know what else you want from me.” 

“He’s my son, Y/N. I will find out what happened to him whether you want me to or not!”

“He was my husband, Barb! I don’t have any fucking answers on how he died because I don’t know how he died! The cops don’t even know. So stop thinking I’m hiding something from you.” 

My mother in law meant well but she was tired of not having answers to what happened; we all were. But none of us were accusing each other of hiding something. 

I let out a deep, aggravated sigh, while I pinched my eyes shut, hoping it would help the headache that was slamming behind my eyes. My body molded into the couch, hoping that it would ease away the worries I felt. The darkness I saw behind my eyes began to fill with memories that night, hours before he died, and my veins filled with regret knowing that I was the reason he was dead. I kicked him out that night, told him not to come back unless he kicked his habit. 

Alcohol consumed his life and it wasn’t something I could deal with anymore. 

The constant fights because of him staying out all night at the bars or showing up to important things drunk as hell. 

Maybe if I let him stay, he would still be alive. 

I quickly shook those thoughts out of my mind, knowing that even if I did keep him home that night, one way or another he would have still wrapped his car around a tree. 

The only answers the cops could give me was that they believed he was driving drunk. I believed them because I knew the kind of man he was; as much as he loved me, he loved the booze a bit more. 

His mother never wanted to believe that her “precious son” could have those demons so when I told her what happened, she didn’t believe me. 

My phone’s alarm went off with the message laundry and I remembered that I had been working on my laundry when Barb called. 

Making sure my phone and keys were in my pocket, I let my door close behind me as I walked down the long hallway and hung a left, the communal laundry room coming in sight. 

I always chose to do my laundry in the middle of the night because everyone else in the building was asleep so I didn’t have to worry about someone hogging all of the machines. 

So to say I was surprised when I saw someone else in the laundry room was an understatement; mostly because Bucky had his back to me, folding away. I only knew it was him because of the metal fingers that worked to fold a shirt of his. 

“Here I thought I was the only one who did laundry at 3 am,” I smirked while walking past him. 

Bucky gave me his own. “I usually don’t but couldn’t sleep so I figured I might as well get a couple loads done.” 

Realizing that my clothes weren’t quite dry yet, I set them for another cycle before giving Bucky my attention once again. 

“Did I have my t.v to loud? I only moved in six months ago and sometimes forget that these walls are paper thin.” 

He quickly shook his head when he noticed the sorrowful frown pulling my lips. 

“Not at all. Just couldn’t sleep,” Bucky shrugged. 

 There were rumors around the complex of him, some that I opted to pay no mind too but there was one that I did believe; his nightmares. 

The walls were incredibly thin and you can hear a conversation from the person on the other side of the wall. Which meant I had heard Bucky have nightmares once or twice. Given who he was and what he used to do, I couldn’t blame him for having them. 

For a brief moment, our eyes locked and the fire I felt burning in the pits of my stomach with how intense his gaze made me bite the inside of my cheek. I had only seen him in quick passes so never got the chance to actually look at him. His blue eyes were dark, filled with exhaustion, but somehow still shone bright. His stubble that covered the lower half of his face was filled with a few gray hairs, and the long hair that he had when I saw him a few nights ago was gone. 

My mouth fell open. “How did I just notice you cut your hair?” 

Bucky smiled. “Needed something different.” 

“Well you look good. I mean it looks good. Not that you don’t look good, you do but your hair looks good too.”

Words spewed out like vomit before I had the chance to stop it. I felt my cheeks burning in embarrassment. It had been so long since I attempted to flirt with someone and the first chance I had, I blew it. 

“I’m just going to glue my lips shut now before I embarrass myself even more.” 

Bucky chuckled while lifting his basket with ease, metal arm twinkling in the overhead light. Some of the other rumors that went around the complex was that people were afraid of him because of his arm. But I always found myself intrigued with it. 

Black with gold lines twisting and turning all around his arm. I wanted to trace it with the tips of my fingers. 

“If you glued them shut then we wouldn’t be able to keep talking,” Bucky said. 

“I’m sure there are other people around here that will be glad to talk to you without embarrassing themselves.” 

He shrugged. “I don’t like talking to them as much.” 

My brow peaked at his comment. “Are you saying you like talking to me?” 

He gave me a wink before walking out of the room while calling over his shoulder. 

“You look good too by the way.” 

The previous heat I felt down below intensified and had to swallow the moan that came crawling out of my throat. This was the second interaction we shared that lasted more than a few seconds and slowly he began taking over my mind where I found myself thinking of what he was doing and how badly I wanted to talk to him or see him. 

“God, I need a bath and a large milkshake,” I groaned to myself as I reached the last step of the floor to my apartment. 

My eight hour shift that started at six this morning became a fifteen hour shift and now that it was reaching close to nine in the evening, I never craved sleep more than I did right now. 

As my door came into view, I quickly noticed that Bucky’s door was open and he was hanging around it, a few people with him. They were chatting amongst themselves and clearly having a good time so I decided not to impose. My head was down as I searched my purse for my keys, trying to go unnoticed. 

“Long day?” 

Bucky stepped away from his group of friends and leaned against my door frame. 

I nodded. “My boss asked me to stay a few extra hours; I couldn't say no.” 

“So I’d assume you’re too tired for a drink?” Bucky asked while stuffing his hands into his pockets. 

“Yeah, sorry. I’ve got the late shift tomorrow so I want to take advantage of the extra sleep.” I apologized. 

He waved me off, saying he understood. 

“Plus, I wouldn’t want to impose on your friends.” 

“You wouldn’t,” Bucky shook his head. “But if you change your mind, the offer still stands. 

I nodded a quick thanks before I watched him walk back into his apartment, the skinny brunette girl attached to his arm. A twinge of jealousy stirred in my stomach and I let out a gruff groan, knowing that it was ridiculous of me to feel jealous. 

The rest of the night passed with nothing exciting, that was until I had decided to finally go to sleep, only to be kept awake by nightmares of that night. Flashing red and blue lights, his car wrapped around the tree, his body hanging out of the driver's side door with blood pooling from his head, and the sirens being drowned out by my screams. 

I awoke with a scream, it echoed throughout my apartment, and my chest rose and fell with each heavy breath. It had been so long since I had dreamed of that night but it was still as raw as that night. 

Once I had calmed down, I finally could hear what was coming from the wall behind me. The headboard banging against the wall in the apartment next door only getting drowned out by the moaning of what could only be described as ecstasy. 

But as soon as I heard it, it ceased being replaced by hushed voices. 

“Did you hear that?” 

“Why’d you stop? I was so close.” 

“I think the scream came from Y/N’s place.” 

“Bucky, come on. I’m only in town for tonight. Don’t waste it on someone else. I’m sure that person is fine.”

Damn these thin walls. 

With a quick jump from my bed, I tossed on a sweater and sweatpants before climbing onto my balcony through my large bedroom window, allowing the fall night air to calm my racing thoughts. I don't know who I thought was on the other side of the wall, clearly that was Bucky’s room and there was a brunette clinging to him when they walked back into his apartment. 

It still stung to see someone else with him. 

Why does it matter to you? You’re not even on his radar. 

I shook the thought from my mind and looked up into the sky, hoping to see some stars. Why I ever moved to New York, I never understood. With the noise and lights, trying to look up to the night sky for some peace was inevitable. 

Tears fell and I ghastly wiped them away as I thought back to my nightmare, visions of him lying there in death, all alone. Soft sobs fell from my lips and shoulders shook with despair and hatred that I allowed him to leave that night. 

“Everything alright?” 

I slightly jumped at the voice and saw Bucky leaning against the shared railings of our balcony, a beer bottle loosely hanging between his fingers. 

“Yeah,” I nodded while avoiding his gaze. 

Thankfully it was dark out here so he wasn’t able to see my tear stained cheek. Between the nightmares and hearing Bucky having sex with someone else, I was a wreck. 

I wasn’t sure why the thought or image of him with someone else bothered me so much. This feeling was unknown, something I hadn’t felt in so long; since before my husband. Maybe that’s why I felt like this, guilty for it being because of another guy. 

You fancy him, dumbass. 

Blinking away the thought, I leaned deeper into the chair and closed my eyes, enjoying the breeze. 

“Anything I can help with?” Bucky questioned. 

“I don’t want to keep you from your company.” 

He quickly shook his head. “You’re not.” 

“I’m fine, Bucky. I just couldn’t sleep,” I kept my eyes trained on the chipped away  nail polish on my fingers. 

The curtness in my voice didn’t go unnoticed by him. “I heard a scream-.” 

“Bucky, there you are! What are you doing out here, it’s freezing!” 

Both of our eyes landed on the woman that had slinked her way next to Bucky, a hand on his back and a soft kiss to his cheek. 

My heart fell deep into my stomach and I let out a shaky breath to try and compose myself. I didn’t want to cry again, not in front of them. 

“I’ll be there in a minute. I’m talking with Y/N,” Bucky nodded towards me. 

I shook my head while standing to my feet. “I was actually about to head to bed. See you around.” 

“Perfect, let's go Bucky.” 

The brunette linked fingers with him, purposely avoiding his metal hand, and tried to drag him inside. 

“Are you sure you’re alright?” Bucky wondered. 

I nodded, trying to hold the tears back but Bucky could see right through my facade and told the brunette he would meet her inside. Reluctantly she nodded and soon it was the two of us again. 

“She seems nice,” I motioned towards where she was previously standing. “Sounds like you two had a good night.” 

Bucky’s face fell when he realized what I was talking about. “You heard?” 

“Thin walls.” 

He cursed under his breath. “I’m sorry, we’re usually more quiet.” 

“Oh, so this isn’t a one time thing?” I wondered. 

“Does it matter?” He asked. 

But then the confusion was replaced with humor, a sly smirk pulling at his lips. His elbows leaned against the railing, his face coming closer to me. We were so close now I was afraid he could tell that I had been crying so I kept my gaze trained hard to the floor beneath my feet. 

A cool metal finger lifted my chin and I sucked in a breath when I drank in his gaze, so powerful and moving. 

“Are you jealous?” 

My lips parted, unsure of how to answer mostly because I didn’t even know if that’s what I was feeling. But I did recognize one feeling and was coursing through me; comfort. 

It was a simple action, his finger lifting my chin, but that had been the first contact I’ve felt in so long that it almost over took me, the tears pooling at the corner of my eyes. 

“No,” I finally answered. 

Bucky snorted, not believing me. Whatever witty comment he had was gone when tears fell from my eyes, concern clouding his gaze. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?” His hands now cupped my face. 

I shook my head in his grasp. “I’m fine.” 

“Y/N,” he urged. “You can talk to me.” 

My eyes refused to meet him, knowing that if they locked, I would melt into him and tell him everything. He didn’t need that, though. He could have been dealing still with his own trauma, I wasn’t going to pour mine on top of it. I had been dealing with it on my own for so long, I could continue too.  

I breathed, feeling his pinkies gently trace circles in the back of my head getting tangled in my hair. The slight action caused a quiet moan to fall from my lips. 

Not a sexual moan but a need for more affection. 

Bucky seemed to have understood so with his metal fingers he ran them fully through my hair and begged me with soft whispers to look at him. 

I obliged. 

His blue eyes bore down at me and with his touch, I felt myself crumble into him, my hands slowly grazing up his chest to his shoulders. I was ready to let it all go, let him in. 

Until her voice sounded behind us once again. 

“What the hell?” 

Bucky turned to look at the brunette, ready to explain himself but before he had the chance, I slipped out of grasp with fresh tears falling. 

“I’m sorry,” I whimpered. 

His pleas to come back meant nothing as I slipped back inside, shutting the window behind me. 

The buzzing from my phone on my end table meant nothing as I turned my back to it, adjusting a new position on my bed. With my blankets pulled up to my chin, another broken sob fell as the water from my eyes continued to stain my pillow case. 

I knew who was blowing up my phone, I didn’t need to check. 

Bucky had found my number from the apartment phone book the other day and he had been trying to get into contact with me to see how I was doing. 

It had been almost a week since that night on my balcony and I had done everything I could to avoid him. Not sure why I felt I needed too, he only was trying to help. 

Truth be told, the memories of my husband and his accident had caused me to go into a dark place, not wanting to leave my apartment let alone my bed. Since I moved to New York, I was alone, no one to share in my grief with which is why whenever a wave crashed over me, I fucking drowned in it. 

When the buzzing phone finally ceased, I breathed a sigh of relief and forced my eyes to shut in hopes of letting the dark slumber take it. 

Three persistent knocks to my window caused my eyes to spring open and when I saw Bucky sitting on the other side, I groaned. 

“Leave me alone!” I yelled, fully engulfing myself in my blankets now. 

The sound of the window opening and a large body all but crashing inside made me sit up in bed, brow perked in confusion. Bucky was standing in my bedroom now with a concerned gaze. 

“You know for a former assassin, you’re not that quiet when breaking into someone’s apartment,” I stated. 

He shrugged. “I thought about knocking on your door but figured you wouldn’t answer.” 

I nodded. “You thought right. Feel free to leave that way though.”

My back was turned to him as I laid down in bed again, pulling the blanket to my chin. Bucky didn’t need to say anything, his warm presence was still felt behind me. I let out an annoyed groan before turning to face him again and it was then that I took in appearance for the first time. Gray sweatpants and a tight black shirt that hugged every inch of his chest and torso. His metal arm twinkled under the soft glow from the lamp in the corner of my room. 

Even in somewhat darkness, he looked breathtaking. 

“You’re not going to leave, are you?” I questioned. 

When he shook his head, I reluctantly sat up and motioned for him to sit; he hesitated. 

“If I didn’t trust you, I wouldn’t be inviting you in my bed right now,” I stated. 

Realizing I had a point, he finally relaxed and sat on the edge of my bed. “Did I do something to make you uncomfortable?” 

“You didn’t,” I reassured him with a small smile. “I’ve been dealing with some things lately, that’s all.” 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Bucky suggested. 

I gnawed on my bottom lip, debating whether or not it was a good idea to talk to him about my problems. I didn’t want him to think less of me because of them. 

You know he wouldn’t. 

“I don’t want to keep you,” I began. “Especially if you’ve got company.” 

Bucky immediately shook his head. “That’s over, I promise. You’re the only one that has my attention.” 

My heart soared with his words and the redness that crept from my cheeks to the tips of my ears didn’t go unnoticed by him. I let out a deep breath to gain whatever courage I could and wondered where to start. 

“I, uh, was married.” 

Bucky’s body tensed at my words so I gently laid a hand on his knee. “Was. Not anymore.” 

He relaxed with my touch. 

“My husband, Rick, died about eight years ago. Next month actually,” I admitted. 

His face fell. “I’m sorry.” 

“I’ve done my best to move on, try to create this new life without him. Which is why I moved here. I thought a fresh start would help.” 

“Why did you wait so long to leave?” Bucky asked. 

“My mother in law. We only had each other and I never found the right time to leave. But the grief and questions became too much to bear so I had to stop thinking about how she felt and start taking care of myself.” 

I almost didn't notice Bucky slip his flesh fingers between mine as I continued to tell my story. 

Almost. 

“She was so hell bent on finding the truth on what happened that her accusations pushed me away.” 

“With his death?” Bucky questioned. 

I let out a low sob. “Yeah. He-uh-he was driving drunk one night and crashed his car into a tree.”

My body shook with fresh tears as the memories began replaying like an old movie in the back of my mind, the wounds tearing open once again. 

Bucky had snuck up next to me, wrapping his arms around me to pull me into his chest. I seeped into him, allowing his soft words of comfort to ease my pain. 

“The images of him hanging out of his car haunt me to this day. I can't go to sleep without seeing him, bloody and cold,” I cried into his chest, hands grasping at his shirt. 

He didn’t say anything, he didn't have too. If anyone understood how I felt, it was Bucky. His large hand rubbed circles on my back while I continued to sob, finally letting go for the first time in so long. I didn’t realize how bad I needed someone to just listen to my problems and comfort me, not criticize how I feel or accuse me of keeping secrets about Rick’s death. 

“His mother blames me,” I muttered into Bucky’s chest. 

“Why?” 

I pulled slightly away from him and looked up into his eyes; they were clouded in sorrow. He cupped my cheek and with his metal thumb wiped the tears away, the coolness of it easing the redness caused by my cries. 

“I couldn’t deal with his drinking any longer. It was ruining our marriage so I told him that he  needed to leave and only come back when he was sober. Rick’s mom didn’t want to believe that he had those demons but he did. I held onto him for so long that I couldn’t take care of him any longer.” 

“He got so good at hiding when he was drunk that I had no idea he was that night. Maybe if I had known, he would still be-.” 

“Hey,” Bucky lifted my chin up to meet his gaze. “You cannot blame yourself for his actions, okay? None of what happened is your fault.” 

I wasn’t so sure if he was talking to me or more so himself. It wasn’t a surprise to anyone that knew about The Winter Soldier's past that Bucky had so much trouble not blaming himself for what he did during that time. 

My head pounded from all the crying and I had nothing left in me, emotionally, so all I could do was nod in his grasp. 

“I’m here to help you with whatever you need to get past that guilt, alright?” 

I nodded again. “Thank you, Bucky.” 

He responded by pulling me into his chest once again, allowing me to ease into his comforting touch as he continued to run circles over my back. 

Time had passed, the two of us locked together with my sobs being replaced with constant yawn after yawn. 

Bucky began to pull away. “I’ll let you get some sleep.” 

I squeezed him a bit, not ready to let go. “Few more minutes? I haven't felt this kind of comfort in so long. It’s nice.” 

His lips brushed the top of my head and I melted into him again, my heart beating so hard against my chest I knew not only could he feel it, Bucky could hear it as well. 

“Take all the time you need, doll.” 

My heart fucking soared at the pet name. 

Our laughter bounced off the walls of the complex as Bucky and I both ascended up the staircase towards home. I had been on my way home from work when I bumped into him one block away, with a bouquet of fresh flowers grasped between his metal fingers. 

“You mentioned that you had a rough day at work so I thought these would make it better.” 

His words from when I questioned him about them brought a smile back to my face. 

Ever since that night last month where I told him about Rick, we had grown incredibly close. He was there for me when the nightmares got bad or I needed someone to talk to; with me also returning the favor. 

Even if he was in therapy to deal with his past, I was still by his side to lend an extra ear and a comforting hold. 

If anyone was to ask what we were, I would tell the truth; friends. 

That love to steal longing glances, the occasional flirty banter, and fingers lingering on one's skin longer than normal. 

“You didn’t have to go out of your way to get me flowers, Buck,” I reiterated my words from earlier. 

He shrugged as we turned the corner of the hallway, our apartments coming into view. 

“Anything to bring a beautiful smile to your face,” he mused while throwing an arm over my shoulder. . 

“Cheeky, aren’t you?” I giggled while patting his chest. 

My feet came to a halt when I saw the lone figure leaning against my door, arms crossed in what appeared to be one thing. 

Anger. 

“Barb, hi. What are you doing here?” I asked, confused. 

She shook her head. “Eight years. Today.” 

My heart dropped. Bucky had been such a good thing in my life lately that I had forgotten Rick’s death anniversary was today. 

“Oh.” I muttered. 

Barb scoffed. “That’s all you have to say? What would Rick have to say about this?”

She motioned towards Bucky who still had his arm around me so he quietly slipped away and tried to leave but I gently grasped his arm to stop him. 

“I can go. I’ll talk to you later,” he suggested. 

While I shook my head, Barb’s demeaning voice spoke again. 

“I think that’s a good idea. She doesn’t need you right now.” 

My eyes snapped over towards her. “Excuse me? What gives you the right to speak to him like that?” 

“Doll, it’s alright.” 

“Doll?!” Barb shrieked. “How long has this been going on? What would Rick think?” 

I shook my head in disbelief. “Nothing because he’s dead Barb. Has been for a long time.” 

“I cannot believe you’ve moved on already. He was your husband for god sakes! He loved you dearly and this is how you repay him? Fucking the first man that touched you.” 

Anger radiated off of me, Bucky noticing the way my breath became erratic so he gently laced our fingers together and nodded towards his door. 

“Come on, let’s get inside.” 

In our many talks I had mentioned a few times about how demeaning and cruel my mother in law could be but I put up with it for years because I was married to her son. The constant belittlement from her had knocked me down to my lowest and now that I was finally starting to feel better about everything thanks to his help, Bucky refused to let me get back to that low. 

I held him back with a shake of my head before giving Barb my attention. “I don’t know why you came here. Like I said on the phone last week, I still don’t have the answers you’re looking for, Barb. Whether you want to believe it or not, your son was an alcoholic and it was his actions that night that killed him. I know it’s not easy to hear but Rick is gone and your quest to find answers to questions that don’t exist isn't going to bring him back.” 

Barb shook her head, looking at me bewildered. “No. There’s a witness that was there that night. They said they saw someone in the road before RIck crashed. He swerved so he wouldn’t hit them. Not the lies you’ve been saying!” 

“I’m not lying about anything!” I snapped, mouth ready to spew hateful things towards her. 

Bucky squeezed my hand as if he could read my mind, knowing what I was about to say. 

I took a deep breath to calm myself, knowing that no matter what I said to her Barb would never change her mind. She could never see her son in such a negative light. 

“I don’t know what else to tell you, Barb. But I know that I can’t keep doing this with you; Rick wouldn’t want this. As much as we loved each other, he wanted me to move on. We talked about it all the time that if something happened to one of us that the other wouldn’t dwell on the heartbreak. He had demons, he tried to drown them with alcohol but they knew how to swim.” 

Tears pricked my eyes. “Rick would want me to be happy, to find love with someone else. He would want the same for you.” 

Without another word, I let Bucky lead me inside of his apartment, ready to finally leave Barb in my past. 

“Are you alright?” Bucky questioned once inside. 

I sat on his couch with a soft groan and nodded. “Yeah, it needed to be said. I hate that it took so long though.”

Bucky trekked around his apartment placing the flowers in a vase then grabbing a beer for him and a glass of water for me. I smiled a thanks as he sat next to me, his hand placed on my knee. “I’m sorry for what she said to you,” I frowned. 

He shrugged. “It's nothing you need to apologize for, doll.” 

With his flesh hand on my knee and the metal one lounged on the top of the couch, his fingers inches from my face, I began tracing the gold lines, mesmerized by the design. Before when I would look or touch it, Bucky would flinch because he was afraid of how I would react to it. 

“I don’t understand how you’re not afraid of it,” Bucky wondered. 

“The way I see it,” I began while linking our fingers together, “This arm was your fresh start. Your old one did all of those horrible things and this one has done so much good, you can’t let the weight of the old one hold you back.” 

A smile pulled wide on his face. “Who needs therapy when that advice is free.” 

I giggled with a wink. “Plus, I come with some extra perks.” 

Bucky smiled smugly with his eyes turning dark. “Care to explain what those perks are?

My lips went dry and I rolled my tongue over them, hoping it would help. The intense gaze I felt from Bucky was enough to lock me into place on his couch with my hands now in my lap clasped together in hopes they stopped shaking with nerves. 

They didn't. 

There was something between us, that wasn’t a question. But what exactly, I wasn’t too sure. We would flirt back and forth and have some small touches here and there but that’s all it was. Neither of us were brave enough to take the next step in this relationship. 

I gnawed on my bottom lip while staring in Bucky’s eyes and I noticed the way his breath caught in his throat, unable to move as I slowly, oh so agonizingly slow, closed the distance between us. Meters from his lips, I hesitated though, my warm breath fanning over his plump lips. This close I could see how pink and full they were, practically begging to be kissed; ravished.

Lips parted and ghosting over each other, I could feel the softness against mine and when I glanced up into his gaze I noticed Bucky’s pupils were blown with desire. 

Fuck it. 

I crashed my lips to his in a slow but firm kiss, testing to see if he wanted this as much as I did. Soon we began to meld together, his hands gripping my hips while mine found his broad shoulders, nails digging slightly. He hissed against my lips, the sensation burning low in my core when he repaid the favor by digging his own nails into the bare skin of my back. 

I nibbled on his bottom lip, begging to taste him, and his tongue slipped between my lips, exploring every inch of my mouth and I groaned when the heat expanded from my core all the way to my head, making me dizzy. 

Our breathing had become ragged with desire, wanting to feel every single inch of each other's bodies. Bucky’s flesh hand tangled in my hair while his metal hand lifted me with ease into his lap, sprawling his fingers over the plump of my ass. My own hands ran down his chest, down his stomach to ghost over the belt of his pants before they snaked underneath his shirt, the skin of his stomach hot with lust. 

“Bucky,” I moaned into his mouth when I felt his hips press into mine. 

The hardness of his cock pressed against the confines of his jeans and a low groan echoed into his mouth when he pressed up against my heated core again. 

Bucky’s lips left mine to start biting and nipping at the skin of my neck while I rutted slowly but firm into him. My hands gripped and pulled at his shirt, yanking it off of his head in a snap. I felt him tense under me as my eyes glazed over where the skin and metal of his arm met, the scars still looked fresh to this day. 

I left soft, pepper-like kisses over each scar, letting him know that it didn't bother me. 

“Bucky,” I breathed his name once again. “I need you.” 

He spewed a few curses into the crook of my neck before finally pulling away, locking our lust blown pupils together. “Are you sure about this?” 

I traced a finger down his cheek and scratched at the stubble on his face. “I’ve never been more sure about anything.” 

That was all he needed before tossing me over his shoulder, and carrying me to his bedroom. 

The coolness from his metal fingers felt almost orgasmic on hot skin as we laid next to each other in bed, in a post-climax haze. Bucky’s fingers traced my spine from the top to bottom, over and over again, and he would leave light feathery kisses where his fingers missed. 

It had been a couple weeks since our first kiss and we had been spending most of our time in his apartment since he had the bigger bed but tonight he surprised me by sneaking into my window while I was asleep, wrapping me in a warm embrace. 

“For an ex assassin, you’re still not that quiet,” I muttered into his warm chest. 

“I missed you,” he breathed into my hairline. 

We then proceeded to spend the next hour tangled in between one another. 

Our relationship had blossomed in those few days even if we had decided to take things slow, not needing to rush or put a label on it quite yet. Even though we both knew how we felt about one another. 

His soft lips left the skin of my back and found its new mark on my neck, Bucky continuing the mark he began earlier. 

“Bucky, I’m so tired,” I whined, playfully smacking him away. 

With a fake groan of annoyance, he pulled away not before leaving a kiss on my forehead. 

“I’m going to grab a glass of water then I’ll come back to bed.” 

The dark slumber was within my grasp, fingers dancing towards it, so all I could do was nod in response. The bed shifted with the sudden change in weight and I wrapped the blanket around me, allowing the darkness to fully engulf me but only to be yanked from it a short time later by the sound of glass breaking. 

“Babe, you alright?” 

Silence. 

“Bucky?” 

More silence. 

Pulling my brows together with confusion, I quickly dressed myself in Bucky’s shirt that he had worn over here and walked into the main living space of my apartment expecting to see Bucky cleaning up whatever broke. 

However, I only saw the broken glass from a cup and a picture face down on the ground next to my couch. 

“What the-?” I muttered while picking it up. 

My heart sank when I saw what picture it was; Rick and I on our wedding day. 

I mentally smacked myself because I thought I had taken down whatever was left of Rick in my apartment when Bucky and I started seeing each other. It wasn’t fair to him that I still had pictures or mementos of a past love up. 

“Fucking dumbass. No wonder why he left,” I cursed to myself. 

I scurried back into my room and reached for my phone, typing out a message. 

I’m sorry that you saw that picture. I thought I packed everything up. Can you come back so I can make it up to you?

A few minutes went by with no response so I sent another message. 

Or I can come over there if that’s alright. 

A few more minutes went by with no response from Bucky so with an aggravated groan, I tossed my phone onto my bed with myself falling close behind. 

“Way to fucking blow it, Y/N,” I grumbled while running my hands over my face. 

Two days. Two fucking days Bucky had been ignoring my texts, calls, and persistent knocks to his door. I had been a wave of different emotions the last two days; Anger, confusion, and hurt; mostly hurt. 

I never knew that Bucky had an issue about my past marriage since I talked about it openly with him so much and he helped me heal that part of mind and heart, moving on completely from it; with him. 

The time we spent together was some of the best parts of my life and I would be a fool to say that it meant nothing to me. Bucky had become an important person in my life and the mere thought of losing him forever weighed heavy on my heart. 

A heart that took so long to mend from past heartbreak and loss. A heart that took forever to find that perfect someone to pick up the pieces, make it feel whole; loved. 

I sat up in bed with a start, the blankets falling from my body, when I was slammed with the sudden realization; it hit me so hard I almost fell right back into my bed. 

I was in love with Bucky. 

And I wasn’t going to let him get away. 

Throwing whatever clothes on I could find, I was standing in front of Bucky’s door in less than a minute, knuckles rapidly knocking with no end in sight. 

“Bucky, can you please open the door?” I called through the thick piece of wood. “I really need to talk to you.” 

More knocking followed by more begging. 

“I’m not going anywhere until you let me inside,” I informed him with crossed arms and all of my weight perched on my left foot. 

“Do I have to pull some ex assassin bullshit and sneak in through your window?” 

The door in front of me opened revealing a very tired looking Bucky and I cringed when I remembered that it was almost four a.m. 

“I’m sorry, I didn’t even realize what time it was.” I apologized. 

Bucky simply nodded. “It’s alright.” 

He went to shut the door again but I blocked it with an angry hand. “You’re not going to shut me out again. For two fucking days you’ve been ignoring me with no explanation.” 

“Y/N, please-.” 

“No!” I shot. “I don’t know what the hell is going on with you but I don’t deserve to be shut out like this especially after everything we’ve gone through and the things I’ve told you.”

Bucky ran a hand over the subtle on his cheek before nodding, allowing the door to open a bit more with me slipping inside before he could change his mind. I was in such a rush to tell him how I felt that I hadn’t noticed his sleeping attire; a pair of very tight black briefs and his hair was a tousled mess of slumber. 

As breathtaking as he looked, Bucky needed to know how I felt. 

“Did I do something wrong? I know you found that picture of Rick and I.” 

He was quick to dismay my worry. “It wasn’t about the picture.” 

My shoulders raised with confusion. “Then what is bothering you? Is it me, are you over us?” 

“No, doll, trust me.” He hesitated to reach for me. 

“Then tell me why the fuck you’ve been avoiding me?!” I snapped, voice raised in anger. 

“I can’t,” Bucky shook his head, refusing. 

“You’re kidding, right?” I scoffed. 

He was in fact not kidding with the stern face he bore. 

“God, I’m so stupid!” I covered my face with my hands. “I let myself open up to you, let you in my life when I needed someone the most, trusted you with my heart and you ripped it away from me. Right when I started to fall in love with you.” 

Bucky blinked. “Wh-what did you say?” 

Tears pricked my eyes. “I love you, Bucky.” 

“Doll,” he breathed, unsure of what to say next. 

“You don’t feel the same,” I nodded to myself, realizing what his silence meant. “God, I’m such a fucking idiot.” 

Hasty wiping away the tears, I stormed past him only to be stopped by his metal fingers grasping at my wrist, pulling me into his chest. His lips crashed onto mine in a powerful kiss, tongues quickly finding each other in starvation for each others taste. 

We shared many kisses but this one was different; it was the kind that made you fall to your knees with dizziness. 

A good kind of dizzy. 

“I love you too,” he pressed into my lips. 

My heart jumped into my throat as his revelation. “Then why have you been ignoring me?” 

Bucky stepped back slightly and rubbed the back of his neck. “There’s something I need to tell you. I wish I would have told you sooner, it might have saved you.” 

“Save me from what?” 

“Falling in love with me,” he linked our fingers together and set me down on the couch. 

We sat with our knees touching and my heart was hammering so loud in my chest I knew Bucky could hear it. My mind raced a million miles a minute with different thoughts of what he had to tell me. 

“The reason why I left the other night was because when I saw that picture, memories came flooding back, almost over taking me,” Bucky began. 

“Memories? Of what?” I pressed. 

Bucky ran a hand through his hair in clear distress. “I know what happened to Rick.” 

I nodded. “Yeah because I told you. He was driving drunk.” 

He disagreed with me. “He wasn’t drunk that night.” 

I looked at him with confusion. “What are you talking about?” 

With one last deep breath, Bucky fully confessed to his past transgression. 

“Rick wasn’t drunk that night. He was sober and driving to meet with the head of the local Hydra group. I don’t know what Rick told you he did for work but whatever it was was a lie. Rick was hired by SHIELD to take back the super soldier serum I had stolen back in the 90’s.” 

My eyes blinked with disbelief. “You’re lying.” 

“I wish I was, doll. I knew who killed Rick.” 

“Who?” I asked, afraid of knowing the truth. 

Bucky hesitated, breath getting caught in his throat, before he spoke with broken words. “The Winter Soldier. And that was me.” 

His bottom lip trembled the same time his nose scrunched up his disgust for his previous actions. 

My whole world came crashing down from the heavens, falling into large pieces of debris around me. My heart was ringing in my ears that I swore I misheard Bucky. Everything I thought I knew about Rick’s death was a lie? Had Barb been right this whole time?

“No,” I stood to my feet with a start. “You’re fucking with me.” 

Bucky reached for my hand but I snatched it away, a look of hurt flashed across his face. 

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I didn’t have a choice,” his broken voice begged me to understand. 

I stopped pacing. “How’d you do it?” 

Bucky refused to answer, only standing to try and get me to stop moving. Anger spilled out of me and I pushed his shoulders to force him back onto the couch. 

“How did you do it?!” I seethed. 

His tongue rolled over his dry lips. “I got in the way of his car so he would have to swerve out of the way. When he crashed, I had to make it look like he was drinking so I injected him with alcohol so it looked like he had been drinking all night.” 

“No,” I sobbed. “This whole time I thought he was at a bar getting fucking wasted and was on his way home when he was actually sober!” 

Bucky flinched but kept his eyes trained at his shaking hands. 

“You fucking left him there to die!” I screamed. “You could have saved him!” 

Bucky was on his feet now, shaking his head rapidly. “It wasn’t me, doll. I swear.” 

“But you still did it!” 

I shoved his chest, hard, and he stumbled back a bit but kept his stance. 

“I wish I never did, Y/N. If I could take back everything I did when I was The Winter Soldier, I would; you know that,” he begged me to listen. 

Sobs plowed through my body causing me to shake and fall to my knees with the truth of what happened that night. The man that I found myself falling in love with had killed my husband. How do you get past that? 

But it wasn’t him. He had no choice.

I screamed at the voice in my mind, telling it to shut up. 

“Doll,” Bucky knelt down to reach for me. 

My fist collided with his cheek knocking him onto his ass and rage took over my vision as I straddled his hips, landing blow after blow to whatever part of flesh I could hit; face, head, neck, chest, stomach, and flesh arm. 

Bucky never stopped me, allowed me to hurt him; try to anyway. The super soldier serum that flowed through his blood every day made it so it felt like he was getting slapped by the wind. 

“Fuck you, Barnes! I hate you!,” I bellowed while going to attack his metal arm. 

In a swift movement, I was now being straddled by Bucky who had both of my hands pinned above my head with his metal fingers gripped tight. Tears fell from his eyes onto the skin of my neck and his chest rose and fell with deep breaths. 

“You don’t mean that.” 

I writhed in his grasp, trying to break free. “I do! You’re a monster, I hate you!” 

When the words left my lips, I immediately regretted them. I knew that he wasn’t a monster, I was only angry at his revelation. I never meant to call him that. Whatever anger I had spilled out of my body through the floor beneath me and I tried to break free once again from Bucky, to reach for him. 

“I didn’t mean it,” I cried. 

He nodded before pulling me into his chest, arms now wrapped around me. He hushed my cries with whispers of sorrow and promised to make it right; make everything right with me and us again. 

“I love you, Y/N. I’m so sorry.” 

My hands clutched at the muscles of his back, my own words being muffled by his chest. 

How could anything be right with us again with me now knowing the truth? Nothing would ever be the same. 

[realprissygirl]

❥ — maramaxxing:

.𖥔 ݁ ˖ becoming prissier and sexier 🥂👛🐈‍⬛˖ ࣪

❤︎ ྀི˖𓍢 my personal pinkprint to aligning with my princess agenda—style, mindset, and routines to embody my future self. as I pivot in life, this will be one of my final blog posts like this. i’m transitioning it off blogging and will now document everything in my video diary… 𐙚

🎀 self prioritization, boundaries, and independence - i come before anyone else. i have no children and my only commitment is to make myself happy.

🍨 shadow work - to reveal what has made me how i am (strengths, traumas, interests, fears), i’ve done so much reflecting on my triggers and responses to specific stimuli. it feels good to know that i’m getting to know myself. that says growth to me.

🎀 studying my birth chart - finding out hope my placements, and which houses they’re in has really made my day to day interactions and experiences very insightful and fun to dissect.

🎀 so fab so glam lately - my vibe lately has been just g-l-a-m, glamorous. just oozing sex appeal and hyper femininity with a sophisticated twist. i can’t wait to document this on youtube.

🍨 bougie and sexy - black and satin have been a common theme for me. my aesthetic is naturally going in a very sultry direction along with animal prints, lace and diamanté detailing.

🎀 body mods - back dermal piercings, more ear piercings and super pretty tattoos, nothing too much just small and pretty embellishmentz!

🍨 fab color palette - brown, cream, soft pink, metallic accents (champagne gold, white gold), and leopard print. my everything.

🎀 gold n pink jewelry - this combo is so pretty on everything else so why wouldn’t be just as pretty on my personal adornments? ordered three gold and pink belly rings and i can’t want to mix the metals once my piercings heal.

🍨keeping a physical lookbook in my fashion diary - this year i’m not holding back. the looks are coming. the photos are coming. i want to document my fav looks, accessories, and details in real time. almost like personal portfolio.

🎀 sexy and grownifying my closet - investing in a luxurious, cohesive closet that says grown. gonna be using high heels and casual glamour to achieve this. the fabrics and cuts are extremely crucial too.

🍨 staple designer bags - if you know me you know i love designer purses. especially if they’re neutral colored and essential. i definitely plan on expanding my repertoire of bags.

🎀 customizing my wardrobe - i’m getting a sewing machine and i’m learning how to hotfix rhinestones to personalize and bedazzle anything i want to. i’m so so excited!

🍨 making my own jewelry - i’m so excited to talk about this! i’m making a kit of chains and threads along with beads and charms all in my color palette and i’m going to start popping out with so much custom made shit! body chains, waist beads, charm bracelets, just so exclusive + #prissy.

🎀 new makeup styles - been loving smoky eyes and black waterlines, overlining with a muted brown, lash clusters, rhinestones, and more sultry details.

🎀 currently healing my gut - psyllium husk supplements, fiber, kombucha/prebiotic soda, chia seeds and an adequate amount of water have all become a part of my routine over the last month or so and i definitely feel different.

🍨 #prettiedup - bleach my hair, signature makeup routines, regular nail appointments (found a tech that i can rely on 🎀), korean skincare + african black soap, and anything else to boost my beauty.

🎀 got a personal trainer to maintain my “skinny bbl” look - i’m a tall girl with long legs and that with a tiny waist and round butt is so my look. currently training for it and i’m pretty happy so far. at this rate, by the end of march i’ll be at my goals.

🍨 building my vitamin and supplement routine - collagen, probiotics + prebiotics, maca, berberine, + some hum essentials.

🎀 my love of teas - cannot live without tea. it’s my favorite form of caffeine. and herbal teas always help me feel as if i’ve boosted my health. my favorite teas right now are green tea, matcha, and double spice chai. also love black, spearmint, and raspberry teas.

🍨 weekly digital detox - one day a week i go out of my way to avoid my phone. i simply rely on other things for entertainment, radio for music and try to interact with those around me.

🎀 hair extension wardrobe - tape ins in natural black and honey blonde, vixen sew ins with 30” bundles (i’m a tall girl so long hair to me is at least 26”)

🍨 cycle syncing - i’ve changed the way i eat depending on where i am in my menstrual cycle. i find my gut responds to the things i eat better. even with the time of day, being intentional with the way i live my life is so important to me now.

🎀 new personalized diet - high protein and low artificial sugar is pretty much what i’ve been following. what i typically eat in a day is berries, rice, oranges, lots of water, almond and peanut butter, etc. my fav sources of protein are grilled chicken, sushi, steak, salmon and eggs. of course i still like sweets they’re for sure few and far between.

🎀 trust in my intuition - it’s taken a while but i’m finally learning to trust myself. if my body is telling me to do something i do it, i don’t try to force what isn’t there, and i respect my mind by honoring the discerning abilities i was blessed with.

🍨 gratitude and thought reframing - so many things in my life changed for the better when i learned to flip my thoughts. in a glass half full fashion. it’s literally the law of assumption. i’m forever grateful for everyone and everything i have. and miss universe has only blessed me with more because i’m now so much more receptive.

🎀 no bull shit + not easily impressed - i literally have the shortest tolerance. i expect a certain standard of behavior from those that wish to be in my presence and this is because i give a certain level of care, consideration, authenticity and respect.

🍨 manifestation journal - my literal best friend. everything i write in my LOA journal comes true. i’m not exaggerating. i read it in the morning and tend to write in it before bed. i keep it right next to my bed along with some stickers and gel pens.

🎀 semipermanent beauty treatments - making appointments for lash lifts and brow microblading as we speak. also super interested in finding a great medspa in my area.

🍨 youtube #vloggingbabe🎀 - i finally made my long awaited comeback and i’ll actually be recording some of the things in this post on video. i love recording and editing. it feels like the best form of self expression to me right now! subscribe!

🎀 glam squad (esthetics, hair, nails) - i’m so anal about things being seamless and easy to remember. i like to go the same place for particular services and i’m determined to find a reliable hairstylist and esthetician that i can stay loyal to (i already have a bomb ass nail tech)

[honestlyvan]

On Tumblr it's pretty common to follow people based on the fact that they're good at curating (ie. you like the things they reblog) as opposed to following the OP of every post you like immediately, because despite the ravaging discoverability on this site has taken, especially on the fandom side, there still are people on here who run fully curatorial blogs and like doing the digging it takes to find the "good posts".

In fact, I feel like the historical presence of both themed and unthemed curatorial blogs on this site is probably the reason it's so reliant on reblogs, and the weakening of their ability to find things is one of the big reasons why posts lose momentum faster now. (The other reason people reblog less is because of the damage a culture of harassment caused to this site's identity, but that's out of scope for this conversation.) It used to be that if a big fandom blog reblogged you, you didn't have to worry about your post getting buried, because their followers and peer network would give you exponentially more notes.

Which isn't to say that you shouldn't follow the OPs of posts you like, but it's often not the most efficient or even the most interesting way to get a dashboard full of interesting things. And if you do want to follow OPs directly, you could be the next highly curatorial blog that gets followed because people like your ability to find the "good posts" and be the one with the "good commentary".

The critical thing here is that follower count isn't actually something that is visible to anyone but yourself, so that's still not exactly "popularity". However, popularity on this site gets you basically nothing other than an inbox you can never empty fully and probably a snide hatedom from people who resent having to see your URL because blocking someone doesn't hide their additions in the threads, and you can't filter out the additions of specific people without hiding the whole thread.

Reblogging is essentially a conversation tool, and has multiple registers. All the "rules" you might hear about when it's okay to add commentary and when you should keep your commentary to the tags are derived from the old way the site used to display your activity. People who have been here for a long time expect certain "manners", even when most of them have forgotten or never knew what the origin of those manners was, but I think because tags and comments are now so embedded into the OP's experience of their own posts, people forget that the middle layer of commentary and curation is what made this site what it was.

So, in my opinion the best way to think about reblogging is not as you talking to the OP -- it's you talking to people who follow you, with the OP just having provided the conversation starter.

People keep telling newcomers that they must reblog posts here because that's the only way to boost a post. And while that isn't not true, it also wildly misrepresents the reblogging culture that Tumblr actually has.

The posts like that keep talking about things as if the OP ("content creator") is someone who needs eyeballs on their work and the rest of us peons ("consumers") owe them the number-go-up an algorithm handles on other sites.

Nothing could be farther from the truth.

Tumblr isn't a popularity contest (note how you can't see follower count), and it's not structured with creators at the top and audience at the bottom. It's egalitarian, we're all in the same crowd, and yes, some of us have 2 followers and some have twenty bazillion, but no one actually knows which is which.

You reblog a post not as a favour to the glorious yet suffering content mill, but because you want people who look at your blog (all two of them now, all twenty of them once more people look at the notes on the posts you reblog) to see that post in the context of your blog.

Your blog is your space, and you're meant fill it with things that you want seen there. That can be your original posts, reblogs with commentary, or just a collection of things you think are neat.

Reblogs chains are often how people find other people to follow, too. So reblog to show off a post that you like and to attract more people who like the things you like to show off. It's that simple. And it's about you.

And because everyone does this, reblogs posts they want to be seen on their own blog, when people make posts that a lot of other people enjoy, that post blows up and is seen by even more people.

Tumblr's reblog system is a network of people picking something up and going "look at this cool thing I found!". It is not a service to content creators.

[helloliriels]

FANDOM TRUMPS HATE 2025 HELLOLIRIELS

So excited to participate in my 4th year with FTH! I will be offering 2 works this year: 1 artwork or edit cover each.

I am hoping to offer fic again next year, as it was a brilliant experience! But I'm doing the hard thing rn and telling myself NO until some WiPs get wrapped up! 🤞 Forgives me!

Fandoms I will create for include: BBC Sherlock, Johnlock, Mystrade, or any solo/gen char within; or from Granada, ACD, or RDJ Holmes/Watson or solo/gen char

Any other SH fandom/pairing or crossover I would need to verify first if I am familiar with it enough to work on! 🎈See posts (when up) for more details and/or check out my previous works to get an idea of what I am offering:

The 💖 Hello Art & 💖 Hello Edits Collection

FTH 💖 2024, 2024, 💖 2023, 💖 2022 & 2022!

Want a story cover designed? Artwork of a specific scene or prompt? Maybe you want art of another's story that is near and dear to your heart? A crazy crossover idea? Visual storytelling edit? Or a new PFP or wallpaper for your blog? I've even made art from listening to a song! 😎 Movie poster and album cover edits are also my jam! or pretty much any kind of AU!

As always, feel free to reach with questions if it's something you're unsure of? or if you wanna bounce ideas beforehand. Happy bidding!

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