#but this is already late to the original conversation because i got sad about. cough. recent world events

[fruitycircus]

mann co assigned mottos, based on a conversation on twitter about the catchphrases in the mercs' bios that are totally things that they said and not for mr. hale to slap on arsenic-lined t-shirts. totally

[dialovers-translations]

DIABOLIK LOVERS DAYLIGHT  Vol.5 Sakamaki Kanato [TRACK 3]

Original title: 僕の名前を呼んで

Source: Diabolik Lovers Daylight Vol. 5 Sakamaki Kanato

Audio: Here (Huge thank you to @filthyhelplessworld​ for providing the audio!)

Seiyuu: Kaji Yuki

Translator’s note: Now this is the angst I’ve been waiting for! I have to give Kaji Yuki huge props because he really had to rely on his entire voice range for this CD, haha. I’m not a Kanato stan by any means, but I did feel somewhat bad for him, despite his selfish behavior from earlier. You can really tell he was struggling all along but he doesn’t know how to convey his feelings so he just defaults to throwing anger tantrums instead. 

Track 1 ll Track 2 ll Track 3 ll Track 4 ll Track 5 + Epilogue

→  LIKE MY TRANSLATIONS? SUPPORT ME ON KO-FI!

Track 3: Say My Name

“Haah...School is such a chore. Perhaps I should just burn the whole building to the ground? ...I suppose I’ll just kill some time at the infirmary for no…”

*Rattle*

[00:20] “...!? ...You. ...Hah. I figured you were dead already since I hadn’t seen you in a while. You’ve actually been attending school, it seems. So, are you resting up here? I will excuse myself then. I came here hoping to get some alone time, but since someone is here, that plan has been completely ruined.”

He turns around.

“...Especially since it’s you. ...Well then.”

You stop him.

“Haah...What’s the matter?”

You ask if he’s feeling unwell.

[01:04] “Now why would that matter? It’s none of your business, is it? Please stop meddling with my affairs, it’s highly bothersome.”

You ask if he needs to suck your blood.

“Hahaha…! You would still be willing to offer me your blood after everything?”

You nod.

[01:27] “...While that is rather noble of you, don’t you think that perhaps you’re thinking a little too highly of yourself? If I’m thirsty, I will simply make my way to town. There are plenty of people who can take your role after all. ...Aren’t you the one who said that? ーー Either way, you do not need to worry about me.”

You frown.

“Is that all you had to say? Well then, goodbye.”

Kanato leaves.

[02:06] ( I thought you would return to my side if I continued to push you away like this. Crying, weeping, clinging to my legs. ...All while I remained completely ignorant to just how much your heart was aching. I’m sure that by this point...You had already made your resolve, had you not? ) 

*TIMESKIP*

[02:50] “The hours of boredom are finally over. Now to head straight home. ...Hm? That back side...It’s her, isn’t it? Hmph. I can tell straight away even when she has her head hanging down. ...Hm. Well, I suppose I shall give her a small chance. I can’t just give her the cold shoulder after all. (1)”

He approaches you.

“Good evening. (2).”

You flinch.

[03:26] “Hah. Why so surprised? Is it strange for me to approach you? That being said, I don’t exactly need anything from you. ...So, you were hunched forward quite a bit while walking, what’s the matter? Did something sad happen? ...Hah. If you insist, I would not mind hearing your story. I’m sure it will help combat my boredom. ...So, what happened?”

You brush him off.

“...! ...I-If you’re alright, I suppose that’s fine too. Heeh…”

You tell him you will head home now. 

[04:17] “Yes, please be my guest and be on your merry way. By yourself.”

You walk away.

“Kuh…! ...Hey, wait!”

You come to a halt.

“The infirmary is my resting place, so you better stay away from it in the future!”

You nod.

“Hah...Well get going then! ...What’s the matter?”

You ask if he will be okay by himself.

[05:00] “More than okay. If anything, it feels like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders! Please don’t treat me like a child.”

You smile.

“...’I’m glad’ you say? ...Excuse me!?”

You turn around and walk away.

“Kuh…!!”

*TIMESKIP*

*Tick・tock・tick・tock*

[05:42] “...Honestly, what is her problem!? I was so kind as to strike up a conversation with her too…! ...Oh well, I wouldn’t mind if things remain this way either, of course. Even if she were gone, I’d be just…!”

*TIMESKIP*

*Tick・tock・tick・tock*

“Tsk...Aah, god!!”

*THUD*

[06:13] “Haah, haah...I have no idea where you are or what you are up to right now. You might be having your blood sucked by one of my other brothers for all I know. When I consider that possibility...I’m overcome by intense feelings of anger and despair. Haah...I...I don’t want this...Why won’t things just go my way!? Iーー To me, you’re so veryーー...! (3)”

*TIMESKIP*

*Tick・tock・tick・tock*

“Haah...Haah...Haah…”

*Tick・tock・tick・tock*

[07:19] “ーーUgh! Guess I have no other choice! At this rate, my rage will never be quelled. While I don’t like having to do this, I will bend. It’s frustrating, but...You’re all I have…”

He opens his drawer and pulls out a piece of paper.

*Flip*

*Scribble scribble*

*TIMESKIP*

You are standing out on the balcony.

*Knock*

[08:07] “...Are you still awake?”

You squeak.

“No need to be so surprised. I do come and visit you from time to time, no? Either way, I’m coming in.”

He enters your room.

[08:25] “Haah...I’m surprised to see you’re out on the balcony this late at night. Were you hoping to jump to your death, perhaps? ...That would only cause extra trouble, so please refrain from doing so. Haah...The wind feels chilly. I can’t believe you would come to such a cold place when you’re already feeling unwell. Are you an idiot?”

You remain quiet.

[09:07] “...Why not say something? Like you could ask me what I’m here for? Or say you’re happy to see me!? I’m sure you’ve got plenty to say!”

You start coughing.

“Haah...There you go coughing. That’s why I warned you. You really are hopeless. ...Without me, at least. ...Listen...I didn’t come to say this or anything...Ugh!”

*Flip*

[09:44] “This. Accept it already.”

You tilt your head to the side.

“It’s an invitation to a tea party. ...For just us two.”

[10:01] “Why, you ask…!? Do I have to spell it out for you!? Consider it my way of telling you that you’re once again allowed in my presence. You will obviously attend, no? I was so kind to invite you after all. Not to mention, this might be your once-in-a-lifetime chance to make things good between us.”

You hesitate.

“...What are you doing? Hurry up and accept the invitation! Otherwise I can’t return to my room! I want to rest already! It’s almost morning after all. ...Here!”

*Flip*

You stand there dazed.

[10:51] “...Do you not want it? ...But why!? I’m trying my absolute hardest to compromise! ...Are you perhaps okay with things staying the way they are right now? ...WHY WON’T YOU SAY ANYTHING!? For one, you’re the one who caused this whole ordeal in the first place! I don’t know what your intention was, but you pestered me by going on about ‘dying’ and such!

...In reality, you should be the one apologizing to me. Begging for my mercy. Do you have any idea how I felt coming heーー”

*Rustle* 

[11:45] “...!? Hey…? Are you listening? You’ve been acting somewhat off this whole time. You seem awfully pale too...Is something the matter?”

You collapse.

*Thud*

“...!? H-Hey! Are you okay!? HEY!”

Kanato touches your skin.

“Cold as ice…!? Why, all of a sudden…!? How come…!?”

*Cling*

“This bottle...Don’t tell me…”

*Sniff*

[12:24] “Poison…? Did you drink this? Then...You were actually trying to die? But why…? …! Because I told you...you could be easily replaced?”

*Rustle*

“You can’t! Open your eyes!”

*Rustle*

[12:54] “Hang in there! I was obviously lying when I said that! Why don’t you understand!? I-I mean...To me, you’re just soーー!”

You tell him he wouldn’t believe you.

“No! You’re wrong…!! When you said you were dying, I didn’t actually disbelieve you. I justーー!”

You admit to how sad it made you.

[13:16] “Uu…It was never my intention to make you suffer either…! I just…Uu…Hic…I can’t bear the thought of it…Of a world without you…I didn’t want to believe that day would come…! That’s why I turned a blind eye to itーー! Yet…Why…Why did it turn out like this…? Hic…Say?”

*Rustle*

“Open your eyes…Wake up! …Wake up, please…!!”

*Rustle*

[14:00] “I mean…This just can’t be…No...Who…Who gave you permission to do this!?”

You have passed out.

“…Open your eyes…and say my name…Like you always would…Please! ...Uu...No...You won’t let get away with this! I won’t let this happen!! ...UWAAAAAAAAH!!!”

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) Kanato refers to the ‘carrot and stick’ method here, in which punishment and reward are alternated. 

(2) ごきげんよう is a very snobbish/high class way to greet someone. You won’t actually hear it much in modern day Japan, but some characters in anime say it 

(3) His sentence is cut off, but it’s heavily implied he wants to say something along the lines of ‘but you mean so much to me’ or ‘I love you so much’.

[woolieshubris]

OK SO IM GOING TO WRITE SOME BACKSTORY THEN CLICK THE CUT TO SEE THE ORIGINAL ARTICLE WITH NO EDITING.

OK SO BASICALLY. At this point in the series, (season 1 had been out and season 2 kept getting hints dropped) every main love square ship had gotten their "scene", except for marichat. Marichat, argueably, was the (and still is) most popular ship on the show. Suddenly a still frame (or concept art?) was released of marinette and chat sitting on her balcony together looking out at the stars. This was quickly dubbed the "balcony scene" and many many many ficwriters quickly made fics of the scene, people made art for it, and people were overall, generally super f/cking hyped for it. Then, glaciator dropped, and reviews were... mixed to say the least. So here, presented in its full, unedited glory, was my hot 2016 take.

enjoy.

Yes. I will be talking about THIS episode. The episode so anticipated by shippers everywhere. The episode that was supposed to finally give marichat shippers a chance, and we ended up with this.

I hate this episode, for many many reasons, but do not worry. The balcony scene isn't one of them.

Here is my summary, (which is very long, so if you would rather just rewatch the episode feel free to do so)

The episode starts out, with chat asking lady out. Nothing out of the ordinary. She says no, but chat takes it as a maybe. (Which is already really stupid, but I'll let it slide)

After they wrap up the escapade, Mari goes to Andre the sweetheart ice cream man, and becomes disappointed when Adrian says he can't go. (Which is not his fault, so I'm letting this slide as well)

Mari feels like a third wheel and declines Andres ice cream because she's heartbroken? (You can get ice cream any day? And it wasn't Adrian's choice either, she should know this by now?)

Andres feelings are hurt.

Cut to chat, who is waiting for ladybug, and lady isn't showing.

Cut to hawkmoth who akumatizes Andre, and then cut to mari, who feels bad about the who ordeal.

Chat blows out candles angstily (even though lady clearly said no, AND thought he was joking) and decides that lady doesn't love him.

Mari is sad about Adrian and goes out to her balcony, balcony scene happens and chat brings Mari to his date he had planned.

Mari is surprised that chat hadn't been joking this entire time (ehh it makes enough sense) and now she feels double as bad.

Andre attacks.

Chat leaps into action and ladybug comes right after. Chat is angsty, and ladybug doesn't show any kind of remorse (what?)

She says sorry, but with no meaning. (maybe bad voice acting, so I'll let this one slide as well) chat is still mad. They soon make the discovery that he doesn't hurt couples, so lady asks if they could pretend to be a couple and chat says no. (Which makes sense) then lady like 1 minute later asks the same thing and chat says yes. (What why would he say yes? ) And they pretend to be a couple but it doesn't do anything to help them?

It helps them escape but they could have done that without pretending to be a couple? Anyways, they save the day and then lady comes to go see chats surprise. He offers her a rose, and lady says she only wants to be friends.

(Chat should have still been mad at her, since she never even said sorry properly, I mean I know I would have,) and chat smiles and says that's fine, then he blasts off.

We follow chat to his room and he's smiling in his bed. Plagg tells him it's ok to be heartbroken, and that a little cheese can help, but Adrian says he isn't heartbroken, and that he's glad she sees him as a friend.

Oof that summary was longer than expected, but it was hopefully shorter than the episode.

Ok, so now that we are all refreshed, I will now list m problems with the episode, in order to make it easier to fix.

First problem, Marinette is heartbroken over the ice cream.

We can easily fix this by making it a special day, like maybe it's a blue moon that night, and Mari wanted to see it with Adrien. It could be the same for Chat with Ladybug, they wanted to see the blue moon together. He takes the, "maybe, I have plans" as a, "sure I'll make it a plan" because he really really wants it to happen, maybe even have plagg mention it, say something along the lines of, "She said she had plans," and Adrien says, "She said maybe!" (I know they already say this, but it isn't portrayed very well in my opinion.

Problem two, Ladybug never says sorry, and chat doesn't care.

Honestly, throughout the entire episode, I was waiting for ladybug to give chat a hug and just say sorry properly. Throughout most of the episode, chat looks on the brink of tears, and lady acts like she can't see it, and chat forgives her almost instantly. It would have been much more interesting to see a chat begrudgingly doing as he's told, just to save Paris, and go home.

Problem 3, Chat isn't heartbroken.

As stated in the show, we don't ever see the sensitive side of chat noir, and the show seems to want to avoid the subject. Chat got friendzoned. He says he's happy to be lady's friend, but he always was, from the start. All of this buildup, only for it to be knocked down in a single episode. Adrien should have been devistated, but then again, this is one of those "reset" type of shows, where everything must resolve before the credits roll, and it becomes very obvious with the awkward transition. You can tell that they were planning to have him heartbroken in bed, mad at ladybug, but someone said, "kids don't want meaningful character exploration, they want happy endings!"

Ok, so now I write my script doctored version of this episode. Warning, it's pretty long.

Ladybug and chat are talking it up as they help the people get off the bus.

"So, you heard about the blue moon tonight chat noir?" Lady asks.

"Yeah, when there is a full moon twice in a month? It's very rare!" Chat says, explaining to all the kids what a blue moon is. "Well, m'lady, can you visit me tonight? You know, to see it together?" Lady shakes her head.

"I have plans," lady thinks it over for a bit however, "but maybe I can come." Chat looks at the time on his baton, and realizes he has to go back home, his piano practice is almost over.

"Gotta go, see you later ladybug!" He says, as he runs off. Lady goes home and realizes that's she's almost late to go meet her friends. She runs out the door and we cut to Adrien, who is texting Nino.

"Sorry nino, father said I can't come" he's talking as he's texting. Plagg flies by and says, "you didn't even ask your dad, how do you know he'd say no?"

Adrien responds, "I have plans with ladybug remember?"

Plagg rolls his eyes. "She said that she had plans."

Adrien looks at plagg and says, "she said maybe."

We cut away from Adrien and we now see a heartbroken Mari.

"It's the blue moon, the most magical night of all, and we were going to eat Andre's ice cream, the most magical ice cream in Paris!" Mari sighs sadly as she sits down on a bench. Nino shows her the text and says, "It's never adrien's fault, so don't blaim him for not being able to show."

"I know, I know." Mari stands up and they all start looking for the ice cream cart.

Cut to chat, who's has just finished setting up the date.

"I really hope she comes." Chat says this with certainty, showing his trust in ladybug. Without having to OUTRIGHT SAY IT. (cough cough episode 12 cough cough)

Cut back to mari, who is exhausted from the chase to find the cart, and salty about Adrien. She sees alya and nino holding hands as they get their ice cream, and looks at the ground while she sits on the bench, not wanting to see it. "We can never be like them" She says, salty. Andre notices this and gives her the ice cream.

"Perfect, just like your love!" Andre says, with a smile. Mari's twisted salty head decides that she doesn't love him, because she and adrien will never be like alya and nino, so when Andre is passing the icecream to Mari, she doesn't grab it, and it falls to the ground.

"I don't love anyone." Mari says, as she stares at the fallen ice cream. Under her breath Mari says, "because no body loves me." Mari looks up at Andre who looks very sad. She realizes what happened and runs to her house. Cut to chat, who is doing the candle thing he did before because that was a really good and powerful scene and I don't want to change it. Start balcony scene, and everything is the same up until the "reveal" of the surprise to ladybug. This time, she hugs him, and you see chats eyes tearing up as she friendzones him. He lets go of the hug prematurely, and smiles, putting the rose in lady's hair. He goes back home and no more cuts to chat or Adrien so we can let the viewers draw their own conclusions. Everything is the same up until when Adrien gets the ice cream. This time, Adrien looks a little happy/sad when Andre prepares him the ladybug ice cream. Happy because he knows he still loves ladybug, but also sad because he knows she will never love him in the same way.

I'm sorry for making you read that entire thing. If you made it through, please, tell me below, which version you like more, and I really want to see your criticism of both. I'd love to have a conversation about it.

[themadauthorshatter]

After the MONSTER that was Arc 2, time to wrap this up!

RED SCHOOL AU/UA STORY/HEADCANONS ARC 3!

This is hopefully going to wrap up Red School, so buckle in.

We begin in Rhian's 'office' as the two trios explain what happened: The Beast just burst through the trees and began attacking, out of the blue just like that.

He asks if there's anything else they noticed, and Cal mentions the red eyes and the fact he looked like he drowned. Rhian finds that odd because The Beast was never the best swimmer.

Tedros also mentions the incident before with Nicholas. Agatha vouches for him, saying she'd probably be dead, if Tedros didn't stop him, Sophie giving Agatha the stink eye as she inches closer to Cal, who fights a cringe.

Regardless, Rhian mutters how it can't be and tells them all to just be careful. Mare, however, notices his unease and knows he's BS-ing.

Either way, Rhian excuses them and watched them leave, though he does ask Agatha and Sophie to stay, to answer some questions. Tedros glances back at them as he leaves, giving Agatha 'please stay' eyes until Maven pats his back and says that, if he wants, he can watch Cal and Maven train, so he can help Maven kick Cal's ass next time they fight.

Back with the girls, Sophie despairs at her princes leaving, but Rhian clears his throat and asks if either have had anything to do with The Beast ending up in the state he's in. Agatha immediately objects, saying she couldn't have because her punishment in Good is a scolding and being locked in her room. He asks Sophie and she shakes her head; she just got her hair butchered and was on her merry way. Rhisn remarks that it's funny because a lot of the Nevers stating that The Beast disappeared around the same time Sophoe was sent to thevDoom Room, so either she's lying or someone else decided he needed to swim with the fishes. Someone more vain than she is.

Neither speaks on it, so Rhian excuses Sophie, though warns her to not do anything fishie with Cal; neither school has forgotten her misadventures with courting Tedros.

He tells Agatha to stay, however, because he wants to ask her about that question she asked Lucas, about leaving with the Silvers.

Semi-embarrassed, Agatha admits, that, yes, she did ask that question. Even if her only way out is a fairytale ending, maybe the Silvers are that ending, even if it's a loophole ending.

Rhian commends her for her cunning, but affirms that won't help. If she wants to go home, she'd better be ready to strap into and study like her life depends on it, because, in a fairytale, it will.

Agatha nods and asks him one question, just one this time, not a bunch of mini questions and one big question. If he knows how everyone's story ends, why not just tell them. Rhian shakes his head. He doesn't know when how storoes end, but if he told everyone theor endings, then the ending will change. They'll either strive for more than what their old ending is or become unmotivated and not strive at all.

With that, Agatha leaves, giving a glance to the Storian before doing so.

When she catches up with Sophie, Tedros, and the others, she finds ths boys having a three-way fight, Maven and Cal trying to roast each other while Tedros blocks with some magic and his sword.

Sophie watches them and drifts off into fantasy land while Mare and Agatha talk about what happened, since Sophie couldn't care less.

She explains that The Beast disappeared a little while back and no one's seen him until today. And people have been getting weird lately, which Mare gets confused by.

Even while he fights, Tedros explains that students have been getting red eyed and violent, attacking each other for, really, no reason.

Intrigued, Cal wonders if it's a apell gone wrong, even asking of their magic can get that powerful. Agatha shows him that they can do a lot of things, i.e. mogrify into animals, use spells to refurbish plants or for self defense. She's seen students do some crazy stuff, but admits that she doesn't think a fellow student could do it.

Maven muses that it all seems weird, but does admit that maybe the School Master has something to do it.

This grabs both Sophie's and Tedros's attention, Tedros noting that Agatha and Sophie were thought to be in the wrong schools, but really might not be a mistake(Sophie disagrees with this) and Sophie admits that if he put her and Agatha in the schools they're in-by 'accident'- maybe he got bored and cast a spell to throw in a new adventure, and brought the Silvers to join in on the fun.

Agatha's not certain, but knows one thing: they need to be careful.

They all agree and Tedros contemplates getting the jump on Cal, which leads to Cal grabbing him and throwing him to the ground, just enough to surprise him, nothing more.

As they get back into it, Agatha asks Mare a question, quietly so Sophie doesn't stop her: Is there a chance Mare can get Agatha and Sophie on their ship and take them away from the school? In return, she can help Mare get back home to her family.

Mare almost snaps at her, but Agatha explains that Mare isn't the only one that wants to go home.

She'll think on it, asking if Agatha can really help, and Agatha admits that she's not too sure, but she'll still try.

With an exchange of 'thank yous,' they watch Maven and Tedros duke it out with Cal both reffing and instructing them as Sophie watches, the two glad to be watching rather than participating because Cal is a brutal teacher.

From here, we get something of a time hump woth shenanigans like Evangeline and the other High House children observing the classes, Mare being hounded by Evergirls that offer her a change of makeup, because her foundation will clog her pores, Cal traching the Everbous more efficient combat techniques that won't get them in trouble, and even the main six hanging out, though Cal makes it clear to Sophie that he's flattered, but he's betrothed, so his hands are tied.

There is a close call when Agatha and Mare are having lunch together and run into Sophie, who's pissed at losing another prince, and not only realizes that Agatha's been cautious around Elara, but also that Mare and Cal are very close, for people betrothed to someone else. She pits two and two together and races off to a teacher, any one will do, but Agatha and Mare give chase, Mare being faster and catching up to Sophie and tackling her to the floor and practically shouting that Sophie had better not tell anyone, or else she'll be killed, along with herself, Agatha, both their families, and anyone remotely close to them, and being dead means no princes, so she'd better wise up.

Sophie agrees and they let bygones be bygones.

Mire time passes, and we get another red mist possessed fight with a wolf, in which Sophie jumps in to help, kind of, by mogrifying as a large bird to distract the wolf. They report it once again to Rhian, who's getting worried about the occurrence of this mist, but talks to Mare is a slightly altered version of this conversation you can read right here.

More time passes, and we get more Tagatha, some Marecal, some Evangeline being a bitch, some friendship, and, most importantly, Maven and Elara still talking about their plan, which is on hold because things are fishy and Elara's feeling a little less like herself. (Hmmmm?)

I know I'm rushing through all this, but trust me, you'll get why in a second.

Fast forward, and it's been about a month since the Silvers left Norta. Tibe, Cal, and Maven realize how long it's been and decide they need to head back.

Rhian understands, and offers them a proper send off to show the rest of Norta: a ball in the School for Good to show the unity of Norta and the School for Good and Evil. The rest of the High Houses, 1 child accompanied by 1 chaperone, have already been invited and preparations are already being made.

Tibe is incredibly flattered by this and thanks Rhian for such an act, though the School Master thanks Tibe in return for showing him what's beyond the Endless Woods.

From her place a few feet back, Mare notices Elara standing at the window and fighting a coughing fit as she stares back at Mare, red blood dripping from her nose.

I'm sure she's fine, BECAUSE WE CUT TO THE BALL!!!

It's just as extravagant as what happens in the or original comic, though at first the Silvers are weary until they warm up and relax.

We also get a sort of glare/stare off between Maven and Elara after she reads Mare's mind and Mare glaring at Tibe after his speech of peace and cooperation, and he simply gives her a look of 'what're you going to do about it?'

(Turns on a megaphone)WE DO NOT GET THAT SHIRTLESS WRESTLING MATCH BETWEEN CAL AND TEDROS! THIS IS A FORMAL EVENT, SO THEY SIMPLY TALK AND EXCHANGE NICETIES!(Puts the megaphone away.)

In a scene of set up and pay off, the sides begin to dance and have a good time, though Sophie tries dancing with Cal, but ends up her Hort, who actually emells nice for a change, but she's pretending not to notice because she wants to be with Cal.

Mare and Maven talk about this whole journey and admit it'll be a little sad to leave when the ball is over. Mare spots Agatha and Tedros in the fray, sees them smiling and happy, and agrees. It will be sad, but, as Maven points out, they're visitors. They always had to leave.

With Rgian and Tibe, Rhian asmits that this was possibly the most entertaining revel he's seen or had in a very long time. Tibe asks if it's two or three years, as a joke, and Rhian admits it's been half a century since the last GOOD revel, like one he'd go to and have all over again because of how fun it was.

It weirds Tibe out, but he notices something else that actually freaks him out: Elara's gone.

Back on the floor, Hort glares at Tedros as Lucas and Ptolemus have a muttered conversation about smelling smoke and Ptolemus thinking there's a bomb somewhere. Lucas disagrees; some of the students might be crazy, but none of them would openly try regicide.

The two spot the red mist, Hort noticing a second later. Rhian sees it, too, and shouts at all three to get away from the door.

Too late!

All three get possessed, Hort going into his Man-wolf form as Lucas and Ptolemus simply decide to rip and tear EVERYONE IN SIGHT.

Tedros tries taking care of Hort, but gets yeeted in the process, as Cal takes on Lucas and Evangeline tries to snap Ptolemus out of it.

The entire ballroom goes to shit with students and Silvers going off on each other as the red mist possesses them. Cal, Maven, and Mare are all fighting for their lives and wondering what the hell is going on, but quickly deduce that this is what's been bothering the school since a while ago.

Now why aren't Tibe and Rhian doimg anything? They're fighting they're own fight, Rhian with his magic and Tibe with his Burner ability; he was going to use hus sword, but Rhian told him not to because they couldn't have a body count.

Tibe demands to know if Rhian had anything to do with this and Rhian snaps if it looks like he did, gesturing to the students with wide arms and a panicked look.

Getting overwhelmed, the trio decide, very reluctantly to make a break for it, getting stopped by Ptolemus and Hort.

Good thing Evangeline decudes to be a good person and lend a hand before they attack her instead.

Cal shouts for her to come with, but Evangeline yells back that he'd better not die because he wouldn't run.

They leave just as they see Evangeline get swarmed by red mist possessed Silvers and students.

Agatha, Sophie and Tedros did escape, but it's not shown so we build tension😈

The RQ trio run out and get seperated, Cal chased by Lucas, a strongarm, and Hort, Maven chased by a couple wolves, and Mare chased by Elane, the coven, and Sonya.

We cut back to Rhian and Tibe, the former noting the fact that the mist is moving faster than he thought, and is stronger than before, as he heals a student who got knocked out cold. Tibe asks where his sons and Mare are, but Rhian says they should be fine. They're capable and are close with each other.

Tibe agrees and asks what they should do, seeing what's becoming of the students and Silvers. Rhian states that there's no time to get to his office, so he needs Tibe to be his shield as he heals as many prople as he can.

Tibe asks what's in the office, but we cut to Cal, before we get the answer. He's running through the halls of Good, and avoiding any runners(I know they're called zombies, but when I think 'zombie' I think of walkers from the Walking Dead, and these mofo's don't walk that much) he can, hiding behind walls and in classrooms to do so; it bugs the hell out of him, but he's not beating up any females and schoolchildren.

When the runners are gone, he slips down the hall and scoffs at the fact that almost everything he's looking at is candy and is both insane and a hazard, especially when he sees that bits and pieces of the wall are missing. (Really wonder which Evergirl did that one?)

Cal sneaks down more halls, but stops when he hears someone running down the next hall, crouching behind a wall. The footsteps slow and stop, also behind the wall.

After a minute, and with a head shake, Cal sparks up his hand and shouts as he wheels around the wall.

Maven yelps and falls back, covering his head; 6'3" of pure muscle with a killer instinct and fire powers, you'd have to have balls made of an allot made of iron, steel, and tungsten to not be afraid that jumping out at you from behind a corner.

They see that neither has the evil red eyes and reunite, hugging and sayimg they're glad the other's safe before asking where Mare is. Maven thought she was with Cal and Cal thought she was with Maven.

Good thing I bring up Mare because she's sprinting around the corner, leading Beatrix, Anadil, Tristan and Nicholas down the hall. No time for reunions because Lucas and Dot are right behind them, Dot casting chocolate onto the floor so no one can run while Lucas harpoons anyone he sees.

Yeah, time to go.

Like before, the students are unfortunately left behind, but this time, when they run up to Merlin's Menagerie, it's Mare who wants to go back and help them, but Maven pulls her outside as Cal slams and welds the door shut.

She yells that they could have saved them, but Maven argues that there wouldn't have been time.

They're all silent for a second, about to shake off what happened, but all get defensive again when they hear a twig snap, Cal holding out a blazing hand as he demands for whoever's out to show themself.

SURPRISE!!! The SGE trio is alive, though Tedros has some scratches from Hort on hus arm and chest.

They reunite again, glad everyone's alright, including Sophie, who gets a, 'Yay, you're alive🙄, happy to see you, too, now stay focused' from Cal as they see what's become of the school.

Yeah... Everything is shit, but as they qonder what the next plan of action should be Maven notices a bunch of red lights appearing in the School Master's tower, which Mare points to, and they agree they need to find a way inside.

They sonewhat argue on who should go, noting the airship/blimp/whatever aircraft available used to bring the other High House children and the fact the SGE trio can mogrify, but before they get a solid plan, runners burst outside, forcing them to run towards the aircraft.

Cal and Tedros fall vack every now and again to keep the runners back, buying them a couple minutes at most, but Maven runs into Mare, who's standing with a look of pure fear and despair on her face. The airship is too far for them to reach and is getting mauled by stymphs, who shred it and tear it down.

Thank goodbess Agatha comes up with a new plan by leaping off the roof and grabbing a stymoh, which has some rope caught on it. She makes it crash back onto the roof and saddles up-though, it'smore bare-backing here- as she explains they can ride the stymphs to the tower. Maven shouts that she's out of her mind, but Mare's on board because they have no other options and more stymphs are coming, some being normal and hollow eyed while the rest are pissed and red eyed.

Tedros kicks back a mist possessed Ravan and agrees as he and Cal race toward the rest of the group.

So there are three stymphs, which lead to them forming groups of two, and before Sophie can dream again, Agatha grabs her, pulls her onto a Stymph and takes flight, Mare and Maven following and shouting for Cal and Tedros to hurry up because theirs is taking off without them.

They jump for it and while Tedros manages to get on its back, but Cal isn't as lucky, instead having to grab its claw/foot and hope for the best.

His job's about to become harder because Hort, still in Man-Wolf form, leaps off the menagerie and bites onto Cal, around and slightly above his ankle.

Cal shouts and almost lets go before Tedros grabs his wrist. Cal apologizes abd kicks Hort off him, which not only makes Hort fall, but also makes the bite worse than it already is.

Don't worry, Hort lands safely on a tree a greenie summoned and got back inside the school.

The group makes it a good distance toward the tower, but get ambushed by mire red mist possessed stymphs that make them crash through a window on a lower level of the tower.

Everyone gets up and gets their bearings, but quickly have an 'oh shit' moment when they see the bite Cal got. They all wonder if he's going to get possessed, but Tedros doesn't think so, having seen how people get possessed, which is by the host 'giving' the red mist by making the person "inhale" the mist, and by inhale I mean the mist goes up their nose and into their mouth and down their throat, which leads to their possession.

Mare backs his play, having seen the same happen with Nicholas and Tristan, and they conclude that Cal's safe, as long as he doesn't bleed out.

Mare acts quickly and tears off parts of her dress to use as a bandage until they can get a proper healer, and Tedros flips out at the fact she's Red; Hort scratched her up too, and when Tedros asked earlier, she simply replied that it wasn't hers.

Regardless, Maven and Mare help up Cal and continue towards the tower until they reach Rhian's office, Cal and Tedros staying behind as lookouts so Sophie, Agatha, Mare, and Maven progress and see what or who is causing this all to happen.

Surprise, it's Elara, who's über possessed and writes with the Storian as it tries continuously to get away.

Mare's surprised by the fact Elara's been possessed, but is still surprised to see the Storian moving of its own accord.

They quickly form a plan, and convince a very disturbed Maven, who agrees, despite his instincts telling him not to because that's his mother and he still loves her.

They plan to dogpile her, but Cal and Tedros get attacked by Dovey, who's also possessed. Cal may has standards, but Tedros kicks Dovey's feet out from under her before they rush into the office, Cal limping a little.

It gets everyone else's attention and Mare and Tedros got right into attack mode. Too bad she deflects them like flies and casts spells and Maven, Sophie, Cal, and Agatha, to subdue them.

Elara, possessed, tells her to stop, because they're injured enough to do nothing, so Dovey simply magics them all to the floor.

Mare asks who this is, the person that isn't Elara, and why they're doing this.

Rhian, who the spirit(who we all know is Rafal, though his identity wouldn't be known as of yet) refers to as his darling, dimwitted brother, is foolish if he believes there can be such a thing as peace in times like these, where the Schools for Good and Evil can really be united and stay united with the introduction of the Silvers and their powers. Stories aren't meant to be peaceful, there must be discourse, and there can't always be happy endings.

Tedros argues that for every Good ending, there's an Evil ending that follows. Everything has to stay in balance, that's how it's always been.

Rafal scoffs and tells him he's more of a fool than he realized, if that's really how he thinks.

Maven's turn to ask a question, out of panic and emotions: Why Elara, of all people?

Rafal admits that he's glad Maven asked and leaves Elara's body and possesses him instead, which is painful.

'Maven' stands and Rafal explains that with the students and the Silvers of Norta, he had a lot of people to choose from, from the broken and empty Maven to the one-tracked thinker that is Cal to vain, selfish, beautiful Sophie to lying, prideful, foolish Tedros to Agatha and Mare, who are both eager and desperate to return to the dirt piles they called home, possessing each of them as he explains before returning to Elara, who tries crawling away before she's possessed again.

Rafal explains very sharply that the Queen was the best candidate for his plan, having seen how power hungry and rutheless she is, and sneers that he had tried to reach his goodie two shoes brother, but the two trios kept screwing it up for him.

Mare asks if he's going to kill them, and Rafal uses Elara's whisper ability to torture Mare into silence before her raises a hand, finger and palm filling with black magic as he dare her to guess.

With a quick apology to Maven, Cal tackles Elara/Rafal to the ground, and Dovey prepares to shoot a spell at him. Tedros shoves her just as Rafal backhands Cal off.

Before any more damage can be done, Maven pulls Elara off Cal, Rafal knocking him back with magic. Mare shoots some lightning at him, demanding he return the storian(he'sbeen holding it this whole time), as Cal and Maven stand with flaming hands, and their battle begins.

Meanwhile, the SGE trio deal with a possessed Professor Dovey, who cries at them that she's sorry and how they need to run as she casts a spell at them, one they dodge in time before anyone gets singed.

Thinking quickly, Agatha tells Tedros to give her and Sophie time, to defend them with his word, since he isn't the best with magic.

He does so, though Dovey fights back barehanded.

Seeing this as life or death, and finally putting her Evil to good use, Sophie tells Agatha to stand back and sings, summoning wasps, locusts and hornets to the tower and whistling them attack Dovey.

Back with the RQ trio, Rafal uses magic to fight off Cal and Mare, throwing them into a wall before approaching a weak and slightly injured Maven, grabbing his throat and picking him up, calling him weak and saying it's no wonder Tibe chose Cal to seat the throne and not a child like Maven.

Mare, who's been sneaking forward, grabs Rafal and knees him before electrocuting him(don't worry, Maven's fine). He casts a spell to the wall, grabs the cape Elara's been wearing, and magics out of there instead.

Mare gives chase with Agatha, Cal, and Maven behind her; Sophie and Tedros stay behind to keep Dovey busy.

The chase ends on the roof with Agatha catching up to Mare to assist.

Rafal ain't having that and uses Elara to control Agatha, who casts numerous spells at her and chases her around the roof before one hits her in the chest, sending her to the edge of the roof.

Cal calls for them both, but Rafal smirks at him as Dovey snatches him and pulls back in the tower.

Back on the roof, Rafal watches Mare dangle a little and saying she would have made a lovely fairytale, if only she hadn't interfered. He then grabs and commands Agatha to finish the job and make Mare fall, tightening his grip when she refuses.

Through the possession, Agatha cries and apologizes, but Mare does, too, because she electricutes them both, making Agatha and Elara fall back, amd forcing Rafal to drop the Storian.

Mare falls back and grabs for it, Agatha screaming and falling after her, much to the shock of Cal, Maven, Tedros, Sophie, and Dovey.

They both fall, disappearing into the mist for a second before the mist fades and the two rise, Agatha having mogrifed into a condor or a vulture as she carries Mare, who holds her claw and she holds the Storian.

They pick up Elara as she begins to come to before landing in Rhian's office, reuniting with everyone, and crying while doing so, but the boys won't admit it.

Outside, the mist falls. Silvers, Reds, Evers, and Nevers all drop and shake out of their haze. In the ballroom, Hort shifts back into a human and groans as he pushes himself up, Rhian handing him his cloak and saying he's alright, and will be okay. Tibe watches everyone come to and turns to Rhian, who says he knew they could do it, referring to Cal, Maven, Mare, Sophie, Agatha, and Tedros, and explains that regardless of which side it is, or who wins, there's always a happy ending.

Back with the two trios, they stop hugging and watch Elara cough and gag, red smoke spewing out of her nose and mouth until it takes the shape of Rhian, who charges at all of them.

The Storian stops him and, in its own words, tells him to get lost.

As the sin rises, Rafal vanishes, though retreats into the woods, leaving them all in shock and awe.

We get something of a montage of the group reuniting with Tibe and Rhian, everyone getting healed, the group hanging out in the infirmary, even as Hort apologizes to Val for biting him, but Cal tells him it's gine and shouldn't worry about it, Tibe commending Cal, Mare, AND MAVEN for their efforts, which is a shicker for both Maven and Mare, the Storian reporting to Rhian, and finally, the group, Tibe, Rhian, and Dovey confenting Elara, who's in Silent Stone manacles.

When told to explain, she states she was possessed, that jealousy had gotten the better of her. It started off as pleasant conversation, but soon, the voice in her own head started speaking of something that she had to refuse. Little did she know, Rafal is a narcissistic ass and took control of her. Rhuan asks what she means, and she responds that she remebered him talking about balance and the futility of appealing to both sides, speaking of how his brother was a fool and was never good at learning his lessons.

Rhian tries to pull the 'I don't know this spirit' card, but Sophie agrees, saying Rafal spoke of Rhian very poorly when they confronted him.

Slightly ashamed, Rhain admits that, yes, the spirit was his brother, who lost the war and died, and yes. By war he means the one that took place centuries ago.

He had tried to keep the spirit under wraps by using spells and charms around the school, but figures that something must've happened to one of the charms that allowed Rafal's spirit to return.

The gears in Cal's head start turning, but Rhian has Elara freed, much to the dismay of all the fandom, and commends all of the group for their bravery and efforts, saying the Woods is indebted to the Silvers, though more specifically Cal, Maven, and Mare, who admits that Tedros, Agatha, and Sophie deserve some credit, too, as they would've been minced meet without them.

Tibe thanks them, and says in return they can have anything they want, excluding Cal or Maven or Mare(pulls out the megaphine again for Sophie) BECAUSE THEY'RE BETROTHED(puts the megaphine away).

Agatha's about to take Tibe's offer amd ask if he can take her and Sophie home or to Norta, but stops when she sees Tedros struggle to keep smiling, Sophie waiting for the final blow that they're leaving Tedros and Cal behind forever, and Mare, who's just waiting to see where this goes.

She asks if they can keep writing to each other, seeing as how the Silvers are leaving tomorrow.

Tibe and Rhian agree, Rhian admitting he can show them a technique for sending letters, but on the condition that only Tedros, Agatha, and Sophie can write letters and no one else.

They agree.

Time jump to a creak as the group hangs out one last time, Mare and Agatha sitting on a log as they watch Sophie find wild flowers to press for her letters and the boys just goofing around, Tedros and Maven swimming as Cal struggles to get in the water, though to be fair, Maven is knee deep in the water.

Mare asks Agatha what made her change her mind about taking the trip back, seeing as how all she wanted was to go home.

Agatha sighs and ecplains that she still does, but, having heard what Rhian said, she now fears for what would happen if she and Sophie left. The other Evergirls aren't the best with magic and if the schools are taken over again, the Silvers aren't there, and Agatha and Sophie are in Gavaldon, they're all basically fucked. Besides, it would actually hurt Tedros's feelings, which Agatha admits as she watches him and Maven drag and throw Cal into the water and laugh as he scurries out, screeching at the top if his lungs.

Mare notices and asks Agatha if she has athing for Tedros, having noticed their little glances at each other and how Tedros gets when he's with her.

Agatha, flustered, counters Mare gets the same way with Cal and Maven, so she's no better.

Speaking of Tedros, Cal, and Maven, Mare and Agatha watch as Cal carries a flailing Maven over his shoulder and wrangles Tedros into his other arm before throwing them into the water, Tedros not really minding, but Maven screaming because the water's freezing.

Mare admits that she's pretty sure Cal's going to miss having Tedros around, at least, but Agatha reassures her that if Mare's a Red with powers in the Endless Woods, then anything's possible. The SGE is for fairytales, after all.

Time jump to the next day. Mare visits her room and falls back onto her bed, letting it swallow her up so she's stuck when someone walks into her room.

Agatha asks if she needs help and Mare accepts, letting Agatha pull her up, before the two hug; they've only known each other alfor a little more than a month, but they're friends, damn it.

Outside the school, everyone exchanges their goodbyes, some crying and some trying not not to cry because Silvers don't cry.

Tedros plays it cool when he says goodbye to Cal, holding out his hand and leaving his other hand resting on the hilt of his sword, claiming that he's looking forward to the next time they meet, so he can kick Cal's ass next time they spar.

Cal, upon seeing how shaky Tedros's hand is and how glassy his eyes are, ruffles his hair instead and reminds him that they can still write to each other. That's enough to make Tedros crack and hug Cal, who obviously hugs back.

Sophie says goodbye as well, to both Cal and Maven, saying she hopes they're happy with their betrotheds. Maven asks if she's finally got the point of what betrothed means, but Sophie reminds him to be careful, as she could always send a spider in their letters. Cal remarks that it wouldn't be very Good of her, but does tell her to stay out of trouble, as much as she can, at least. Sophie only folds her arms and dares THEM to try being good when attending the School for Evil.

Tibe and Rhian exchange their goodbyes as well, Tibe thanking the School Master for his hospitality and Rhian thanking Tibe for sending the Swift and the Eye a while back; he can't remeber the last time things were so entertaining at the school.

The Silvers all take thier seats in their carriages and wave goodbye to the students and Rhian, though Tedros, Sophie, and Agatha sort of run after the carriage Cal, Maven, Mare, and Evangeline are in, because they're teens and will miss the presence of their new friends.

They wave back, but Cal's smile drops as he gets to thinking about what Rhian said, about the charms around the school. As Evangeline, Mare, and Maven talk, Cal starts putting the pieces together and the realization he has makes him feel sick to his stomach.

When they board the ship, he tells Mare and Maven immediately:

When they first arrived, the Swift or Eye must've moved a charm, which allowed Rafal to take over.

Rafal appearing was a direct result of the Silvers.

Maven peers over Elara's shoulder to see her smirking at him, whispering to him that they need to talk again, but this time it's more important.

The three stare at the Endless Woods as they leave, the scene zooming in on the woods until we find an engraved rock on the ground, which Sophie picks up.

She hears a whisper in her ear as Agatha asks if she's coming back to the school or what, Sophie looking between her and the rock she found.

AND THAT ENDS RED SCHOOL! Holy shit! I did not expect this to take as long as it did, but I just turned a 100 page comic into a full fledged book, so of course this is long as hell.

Ibrelly hope you guys enjoyed this, I never thought I'd be doing this and get it done. And if Victoria Aveyard, Soman Chainani or Joel Gennari are reading this, THIS WAS JUST A FAN THING BECAUSE I GET BORED WITH MYSELF, PLEASE DON'T BE MAD AT ME!!!😫🙏

Anyway, thank you so much for reading, amd I hope you enjoyed!!!!!

[gucciwins]

Canyon Moon

Harry receives love letters and Y/N doesn’t love anyone more than she loves Harry.

Word count: 5685

A/N: I started this story three different times and the other two are sitting in my drafts unfinished. I had a vision for this and then as I was writing it would die. I was in a deep hole but I have made it out. Canyon Moon is special and I love her so much. Everyone give her some love, she is underappreciated. Thank you to @hsogolden​ for allowing me to partake in the #FineLineFicChallenge I love this story and I hope you do as well. 

Please let me know your thoughts

Hope you enjoy! xx

The sun was shining, and the neighbor’s kids Alex and Max were laughing as they rolled around in the grass together. Harry smiled, looking over at them as he made his way to his car. 

“Good morning Mr. Styles.”  

Harry turns around as he was opening his car door and as he hears someone approach and greet him. It's the mailman, Greg. He’s an older gentleman with a big friendly smile and kind brown eyes. 

“Morning, Greg,” Harry responds cheerfully. “How’s Irene, has she got the roses planted?”

“Oh, she’s doing well. She has a bit of a cough, but nothing a chamomile tea won’t heal. Our son came by and helped her. They are looking beautiful.” His smile is so bright.

“I’ve only got one piece of mail for you today; it seems,” Greg says, reminding Harry of the original reason for his visit. “Seems it came a long way.” 

At those few words, Harry’s green eyes light up. Greg knows it’s one full of love. Harry is given the letter but doesn’t look down at it until he bids Greg goodbye, and he’s sat in his car. 

Harry is quick to open the letter, not bothering to see who it’s from because he knows only one person that loves sending him letters. As he slips the letter out of the envelope, a picture falls on his lap. He doesn’t think twice and picks it up, turning it around. Harry smiles at the photo of a woman with her arms spread open wide sunflowers standing tall and beautiful behind her. That’s not the most beautiful thing in the picture, no it’s the smiling woman that makes Harry’s world turn. 

His lady is in Amsterdam; more specifically, she is at the Van Gogh Museum surrounded by sunflowers that don’t shine as bright as she does. Harry brings the photo to his lips and gives it a quick kiss. 

My darling Harry (I was tempted to say sunflower),

I’m in Amsterdam! It’s beautiful, and I am taking many pictures, don’t you worry. The camera you gifted me is helping tremendously; I didn’t realize how lousy my last one was. You always know best. I’m thankful for you, still. Why am I in Amsterdam, you are asking. Well, I’m here to write about the famous Van Gogh and the masterpieces he created because this will be going up on his birthday, but you already know that because you read all my writing. My biggest fan. I miss you. I know it’s my job, but it’s not easy missing you. I found this bakery it was amazing but nothing compared to you. If anything, it made me want to jump on a plane and have you bake me one of everything. Missing those famous cinnamon cookies right now. 

The sunflowers had me reminiscing. Do you remember our first date? I went to pick you up in my old beat-up car named Betty. I remember being nervous, walking up to your front door. I kept repeating in my head don’t trip as I was walking up the stairs. I knocked twice before I heard a loud thump, and you yell shit. It honestly calmed my nerves. Then they all came back when you opened the door and stood in front of me wearing a cashmere solar system sweater with black pants and beautiful boots. You looked out of this world (tell me you’re laughing reading that). Then you started turning red because you looked me up and down and saw me in black sweatpants and an old over sized red Malibu crew neck with beat-up old skool vans. “I’m pretty sure I told you to dress down because we were going to be painting.” Then you responded, “uhh...you make me nervous. I changed my outfit five times and forgot you told me how to dress.”

At that moment, I wanted to reach up to kiss you, but I felt that would have scared you off (I was wrong). Then I remembered I had something in my hand and immediately thrust my hand forward. I shoved sunflowers in your face, and your response was to hug me because no one had ever bought you flowers. We then proceeded to enjoy a fun painting date on the beach. You pointed out my moon in my painting of the ocean instead of the sun. You didn’t question it; you just told me it was beautiful. I know you remember all of this (at least I hope you do). I just miss you. It’s lonely, but I love my job. Remember, I love you more. I love you more than the moon loves coming out at night. I’ll be home soon, darling.

Love Y/N,

Your fiance xx

Harry smiled down at the letter and wiped his tears. These love letters kept him going and, for some reason, made your love even stronger. It was the best first date he had ever gone on. He knew at the end of the date that Y/N was the one for him. 

Harry is ready to go to work but has to let his lady know he received her letter. 

Amsterdam letter was a sweet treat this morning, won’t even need to have my morning danish. 

Well, I’m glad it made it to you safely. 

I do need you to eat a treat in my name. I’m missing out. 

I’ll have a scone in your honor. 

That’s a beautiful picture you sent. I can’t believe you were hiding that from me. 

Got to keep you on your toes ;)

I’m going to bed. I have an early flight tomorrow

Safe travels, my love. 

Thank you. I love you xx

I love you xx

Harry tucked his phone away and felt his heart tightening in his chest. He lets out a deep breath, knowing he needs to relax. Harry just misses her. It’s hard; her job keeps her away, but the good thing is Harry’s bakery keeps him busy. 

“Morning, boss, man!” Sarah greeted him as soon as he walked through the back door.

“Hello Sarah, what’s on the agenda today?”

Sarah picks up the paper in front of her and looks it over quickly. “Kevin’s dinosaur birthday cake. It’s a red velvet cake.” 

Harry nods. “I got it. Who’s mending the front today?” 

“Jimmy and Tam.” 

“Will you head out front during lunch rush?” Harry asks, knowing how busy they get because of their croissant special. 

“Of course.” 

Sarah looks over at Harry, who has a smile on his face as he hums along to the song playing from the speakers. 

“What’s got you so smiley?” Sarah finally asks.

Harry grins, not being able to stop himself from sharing. “I got a letter from my lady today, that’s all.” He says, trying to shrug it off. 

“You get those all the time!” She exclaims. “This was different, tell me why.”

 Harry stops gathering his ingredients and looks over at Sarah. “She retold the story of our first date. Told me little details I didn’t know.” He smiles, thinking back to the letter sitting in his car. “Reminded me of how far we’ve come.”

“Well, ain’t that sweet.” Charlotte butts in as she walks in, holding an empty box that she begins to fill with treats. From danishes to chocolate croissants. “Please let Y/N know I miss her and that she should stop eating pastries from all over the world. It hurts my feelings.”

Harry laughs. “I’ll be sure to let her know.” 

With the conversation, dwindling Harry gets to work because he knows he has a busy day ahead of him.

~ ~ ~

It's a Monday morning when Harry receives another letter. 

Harry rolls out of bed late after staying up, talking to his love for hours. If he had to choose between sleeping and talking to Y/N, then sleep be damned. She's met up with a friend from what she's told him. After leaving Paris, she found Alfie and decided to travel together since they happened to be going the same way. It comforted Harry, knowing she had a friend at her side, but he wished it was him instead. 

Harry made his morning tea and warmed himself a muffin. He was taking in the quiet of the house, and it reminds him of how much he hates it. He missed when Y/N would play music so loud he thought his eardrums might burst, also missed the smell of slightly over burnt pancakes, but most of all he missed her rolling over in bed and laying her head on his chest and softly tracing his swallow tattoos to wake him up from his sleep gently.  

Harry walks into the kitchen and makes breakfast. He's in the mood for pancakes and a good cup of coffee. As he waits for his coffee to cool a little, he steps outside to collect the mail. A grin spreads across his face as he takes a step inside, abandoning the light bill for the time as something far better has arrived. 

It's a little crumbled but no rips. The letter feels light in his palm but heavy in his heart for the words contained inside. There is an address from Paris under Y/N’s name. 

Hi darling, 

I'm in Paris sitting outside on the balcony and eating my weight in macaroons, and I feel sad. I look out and see how pretty the Eiffel tower shines at night and how you'd love to view it. I'm surprised we have never come to France together. What a shame. You would put the Eiffel Tower to shame with your beauty. Harry, I see the moon standing high and I tell her all my secrets. All the ones I want to say to you. I keep thinking back to a time under the canyon moon. I remember telling you how upset I could never see the stars and their constellations and learned all about them because if I couldn't see them, then at least I wanted to know all about them. Then two weeks later you rent out a big cabin up in the canyon of who knows where and you let me tell you all about the stars. Then you looked at me and said I shined brighter than all of them. All it took for me to say I love you. I'm still not sure if you cried, or it was the reflection on the stars in your eyes, but I swear your green eyes never shined brighter than they did that night under the canyon moon. I'm sorry, I'm not coming home yet, but I hope you know I never forget where my heart is. 

I love you xx 

Love,

Your future wife

Harry smiles down at his pancakes. That date was perfect. It was the one where Harry knew she was the woman he was going to marry. Harry thinks back to how open they both were that weekend together. Once he got back home after dropping her off, although he didn't want to say goodbye but had to because they both had to go to work, he called his mom. The conversation was Harry gushing about Y/N and how she was the one. He also let Anne know that she had a big sweet tooth, which was a big plus in his book. 

Harry wants to call Y/N, but she had let him know she would be busy the next following days but would text him when she could.

 It's moments like these where Harry wishes his love didn't have a job that kept her away. It's selfish of him to ask her to stay and give it up her dream job for him. He'd never forgive himself if she did it. 

Harry has never in his life been so conflicted. He wanted to be selfish, but he couldn't for the sake of her happiness, but what about his?

~ ~ ~

It's been a shitty day. Harry got to work late, and Charlotte wasn't able to come in because she was down with the flu. Sarah had the week off because she was in England attending a cousin's wedding. It was Javier, the newest employee and him against the world today. Harry hates to admit it but he felt everything he baked tasted and looked bad. It was so bad that he handled the register, and Javier was sent to the back and baked the day away. Harry decided to close two hours early because he was beat and he knew for a fact so was Javier. He sent Javier home with a box of pastries and 75% of today's tips that sadly wasn't much either.

Harry knew he needed to let off some steam and decided to go to his gym where he'd do some running, and if his trainer was there, then a bit of boxing as well. To Harry's luck, the gym closed because there happened to be a problem at the front desk that caused the entire gym to lose power. Harry went home upset and in need of cuddles. 

He wanted to talk to his love but honestly had no clue where she was or what time it could be. He hadn't made an effort to speak to her this past week, seeing as they got in an argument, and it was all his fault. He didn't expect it to escalate, but it seemed he had run short that day. 

He currently wasn't making an effort, and Y/N was. He was just acting like a dick because he was stuck in his head wishing he could hug her and apologize. She sent extra pictures of herself, sent more I love you texts. Heck, even Anne called him to let him know that she was getting loads of pictures and was worried about Y/N. Harry knew she was doing that because he wouldn't answer her texts, and she was close to spiraling. He knew today he would send her a long message begging for forgiveness. Then hopefully, she'd tell him a story, and he'd drift off to sleep to the voice of an angel.

Harry arrived home and wanted to head inside but made a stop at his mailbox. He placed the keys in the yellow bowl by the front door. He was about to drop the mail as well when a stamp caught his eye. It was an international stamp of the moon, and Harry knew one person who used those. He didn't bother checking the information and ripped it open.

I'm sorry.

I know when you get this, our fight will be water under the bridge. (this is me being optimistic) I didn't expect us to argue about my job, it's my love, and I worked hard to be where I am. I know it's my fault; it always seems to be my fault. I'm the one making you wait at home alone. I'm the one not offering any support. I might be doing you a favor if I walk away, but I'm selfish I could never let you go. I'd let you leave me, but I'd never push you away. You're my best friend. I know you're hurt but so am I. I promise harry, I'm almost home before you know it you'll want me gone by how much time we spend together and I never let you leave the house. It sounds perfect to me. Do you remember our first big fight? I'm not even sure what we were fighting about, but I was sure you were about to walk away from me, so I did it first. I ran out the door and sat in my car and cried. I didn't even have the power to drive away. (it was also my apartment I ran out of.) You stayed up there crying as well. I think I knew if I turned that car on and left you, it would be the end of us, and I wasn't ready for that. I took a deep breath and marched my way up to my apartment. You sat on the floor with your eyes closed — a picture of us in your lap. I remember taking a deep breath and walking towards you and held my hand out. I thought I had been holding it out for the longest time but was only ten seconds. You grabbed it and pulled yourself up; I remember the cold metal of your rings meeting my hand, and I just wanted to cry, but I also was a woman on a mission. I turned out the door, and you followed, holding my hand tighter. I walked up to the roof, never letting go of your hand. I laid down on the blanket that I had left there, and you followed. We laid their hand in hand for hours until you scooted over and put your head on my chest. I ran my fingers through your hair and just began to tell you all my useless science facts. Slowly we talked it out, and at that moment, I knew I could never let you go. You are the best thing in my life. 

I love you xx 

Sincerely,

A girl in love missing you like crazy

Harry finished reading and found himself against the door. He's so stupid, of course, she'd take the blame. She's excellent at pointing the blame to no one but herself. This was all him and he had been acting like a jerk. She had been looking for reassurance that they'd be fine, heck she believed they'd be alright by now. She believed in them, and Harry didn't believe in himself. 

Harry picked himself up and sat on the couch. He pulled his phone out, and without thinking twice, he clicked the call. It rang and rang and rang until it got to voicemail. He deserved that he felt. He tried again, and after the second ring, he heard a faint hello. 

"Hi, love," He whispers before speaking up. "It's Harry." 

He waited a few seconds and heard no response. "Lovie"

"Sorry, hi. I was sleeping, got out of bed, or I would have fallen back to sleep." She told him like it was normal for him to wake her in the middle of the night. "Are you okay, did something happen?" She panics quickly, knowing it must be a little late there. 

"Everything's fine, nothing to worry about. Well, everything is not fine, and gosh, I'm just frustrated, and it's all my fault." 

"Harry, baby!" She says a bit louder to stop him rambling. "Slow down; I'm not sure what's wrong. Help me understand so I can help you."

"I ignored you for no reason, besides not being able to get over my pride, and you sent me this beautiful letter." Harry takes a deep breath to stop his tears, but it's no use. "You say you're selfish and take all the blame, but we both know it was my fault. I keep pushing you about your job, but you never once said anything about mine, especially when I stay there for hours, perfecting a recipe and standing you up."

"You make it up to me by bringing me sweets" She decides to input, hoping it will get a laugh out of him.

"I'm serious!"

"As am I, Harry." He hears the frustration in her voice. "I've missed too many date nights. You stay home or you state late at the bakery. You don't go out as often with your friends because everyone is always with their partners. It's killing me that you're unhappy."

"Stop," Harry begs, afraid of where this conversation could go.

"Am I selfish, Harry?" She dares to ask. "I want you, but I also want my job, but I fear there might come a time where I might have neither."

"I swear I will always be here. Look down at the ring I gave you." Harry wipes his nose softly. "It's a promise of forever. A forever I only want with you."

She doesn't answer, but Harry knows this is forgiveness. 

"Is this part of our forever?" She questions. 

"It is, a forever, we'll tell our children and grandchildren about."

Harry goes quiet, and so does Y/N. They bask in the quietness and hold on tight to the future they have together.

"I'll be home soon, darling," She promises. "I love you."

"I love you."

~ ~ ~

Harry! Darling!

I just had the best phone call! I am amazed and shocked. Oh, honey, I forgot to mention I’m in Rome. You know how much I love it here. I swear I still want to marry you in Italy. (Please think about it.) I had the pleasure of going to this gallery opening for this artist who’s making his significant return, and it was beautiful. His work, I feel, speaks to you. He’s also very handsome but don’t worry he is also very much taken. (no one ever looks as good as you do) I didn’t get the chance to speak with him because he doesn't like interviews, but I got on well with his girlfriend, who I chatted up because of a painting he did of the night sky in Italy with a big moon and girl looking at it from her balcony. I asked how much, but it’s not for sale. (bummer, think it might be special to them). Darling, I’m coming home. Soon I promise. Before you know it, I'll be running into your arms at the airport, and I won't even care about the PDA. I miss you. Say hi to Sarah and Lottie for me (winky face).

I love you xx

Sincerely,

Your love

Harry laughs out loud in the middle of reading the letter. She says the craziest things, and sometimes he is crazy enough to follow along. Getting married in Italy sounds like a great idea, also a bit impulsive. His mom wouldn’t be opposed, but he knows her parents would be. 

Harry reads it over and is surprised to see that she didn’t address what the phone call was on. I guess he would have to ask her during their next phone call. 

Harry arrives at his bakery and smiles at Sarah, chatting up the regular Mitch. Harry knows she tries her best to get him to crack a smile or laugh at a joke, but he never does. At least to Sarah's knowledge, he doesn’t. Harry has seen him smile down at his drink every time she turns around or walks toward the back. Harry knows it's only a matter of time before Mitch cracks and allows himself to pursue the baker. 

Sarah approaches Harry with a smirk on her face. He looks away and walks away from her. 

“Harry, I haven’t even said anything yet.” She gasps in disbelief.

“You act as if I haven’t known you for years.”

“This has to do with-” Harry is quick to interrupt her.

“Nope, if you talk about her, I won’t get any work done, and it’s about time I go sign some checks.” 

“This is important!” She yells.

“If it’s important, she’ll let me know.” 

Harry shuts his office door and gets to work because this paperwork that was piling up was not going to do itself.

~ ~ ~

I'm going home. 

I'm not sure when you’re receiving this, but I’m waiting for the phone call that follows because this is the first you hear about it. I'm estimating it to be a week from when I sent it so I should be home in two weeks. That’s crazy, just know I'm crying as I think about it because I can’t wait to feel those strong arms wrapped around me. I can't wait to have you naked for the next few days (wow! I really wrote that) I can't wait to visit the bakery and eat everything you’ve been making. I swear if I come home to a bunch of people in our home because you wanted a welcome home party, I will drive myself back to the airport and get on the next flight out of there. I just want you in your birthday suit and the bed (the wall or couch is fine if we don’t make it).

I'm going home. 

Sincerely,

(soon to be) Mrs. Styles 

~ ~ ~

Five days.

Harry has to hold on for five days; then, he’ll get to see his love. 

When Harry got the letter, he stood there in shock, reading it over and over again. Once he read it for the ninth time, he set it down on the kitchen counter and rang the person who was causing him to feel like his heart would beat out of his chest. 

Harry spent the first ten minutes, crying asking Y/N if she was serious. He knew the trip should have been about a whole month longer. The rest of the call was spent each in their separate beds, no clothes, lots of filthy talking, and sweet, beautiful moans that neither of them wanted the moment to end. 

Harry was very distracted at work. He put salt in the flour for cupcakes instead of sugar. Thankfully, Charlotte caught that, or it would have been much worse later. Sarah tried her best to convince him to go home and relax, but Harry knew if he did, he would go crazy. The result being Harry was allowed to knead the dough and do paperwork in his office.  

Today, he would be doing more paperwork because it was necessary when running his own business, he just didn’t believe it when many people told him about it. Harry enjoyed it for some strange reason.

Harry stopped in front of the back door and admired the light blue color he was convinced to paint by no other than Y/N. The hand prints make him smile. His employees put their hands all around. When first painting, he just wanted to add some color to it, but she argued they needed a little more. She grabbed the yellow paint and opened it carefully. She pushed it towards Harry, gesturing him to put his hand in. He does so no questions asked, then she guides it to the middle of the door and puts pressure on it. He pulls away and smiles at his long fingers. Harry grabs her hand gently places a kiss on her knuckles then dips it into the paint. He brings her hand very close to his print and presses it against the door. It’s sweet and loves that Javi, Lottie, Jimmy, Tam and Sarah have theirs on as well, it signifies his family here at his bakery. 

Everything reminds him of her, but he wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Harry enters and finds out he is locked out of his office, which is weird because it locks from the inside. A note slides out from under reading H, head to the place where we first said I love you. Harry knows it’s from her, but why would she send him up there. She is not supposed to be home until five days from now, so what exactly can she be planning; nevertheless, Harry leaves knowing Sarah will take care of the bakery and sets off to the canyon. 

~ ~ ~

Harry makes it to the small cabin he rented for the weekend they spent at the beginning of their relationship. He turned the note over, and it gave him this exact location. The sun is beginning to set, and it paints a beautiful picture one he wishes he could paint if only he were a good artist. 

He walks to the front door and finds another note. It says, Head to where we looked at the stars. He rounds the house and makes his way to the large backyard that has a beautiful ocean and mountain views. From a distance, he makes out a large red blanket surrounded by too many pillows. Harry could dive right on top and have a soft landing. Harry sees a small picnic basket and another note on top. Before he can read it, a song he’s never heard starts to play. It makes him smile because he may not know the song, but Y/N does, although she denies it; he always sees her singing along to these unknown songs.

“How about a picnic.” 

Harry turns around quickly and stares. He looks at her in disbelief. 

She’s here. 

She stands there wearing black sweats, a plain white t-shirt that most likely is his and worn-out white vans. 

Harry’s green eyes scanned her up and down his mind not believing she was there. Harry is quick to notice he’s crying when he blinks and feels water run down his chin. 

“I was hoping for a hug or a kiss, but staring is also acceptable.” Y/N jokes. 

Harry breaks out of his trance and runs up to her. He cups her face gently with both hands and holds her close. It’s pleasant and calming, finally being together after being apart. He opens his mouth to say something but closes it just as quickly. Instead, he leans down and connects his lips with hers.

It’s two missing puzzle pieces coming together to become one. 

“I love this welcome!” She says with a massive smile on her face. 

“You’re here.” His first words to you. “Five days early.” 

“Well...I’m right on time. My letter arrived to you a week later than I expected. You were excited and told me you were counting down the days and booked the whole week for us. I couldn’t crush your excitement even if it were to tell you I’d be home sooner.” She explains. 

“I’m very much surprised, but I don’t have the week off.” He pouts. 

“You do!” She assures him. “I went in this morning and worked everything out with Sarah. She’s got a soft spot for me. No one seemed to mind you’d be away for two weeks. Said it would be good for you.” 

“You’re sneaky” He laughs. “I love it.” He kisses her cheeks repeatedly.

She gasps and slaps his shoulder lightly. “Why did I have to find out with Lottie that Mitch and Sarah are finally dating?” 

Harry stares at her, confused. “Catch me up; last; I knew he was still pining for her from afar.” 

She shakes her head, no. “No, they looked really cozy this morning like a long hug and a kiss on the cheek.” Y/N sighs dramatically. “I wish I had a chance to ask her, but that can wait.”

Y/N pulled away from the embrace and walked towards the blanket. “Come on, darling.” She looks at him from over her shoulder. “I’ve got lots of kisses to make up for.”

Harry hums in agreement. “Something else you need to make up for that requires little to no clothing.”

Y/N laughs and squeezes the hand she’s holding. “All in good time.” 

Harry lays down first and sighs over how comfortable it is. Y/N is quick to follow, and Harry pulls her close and gently rests her head on his chest.

“When I arrived here, I thought you were going to have me stay here for the next few days alone until someone would arrive and murder me.” Harry shares with a small laugh.

“A bit dark, my darling.” She shakes her head at his thoughts. “I was thinking of having you arrive, and the whole thing would have been filled with guests and food for our wedding, and you’d have to marry me instead of waiting until autumn of this year, but I thought it would give you a heart attack.”

Harry’s heart starts beating faster. “You would have married me today,” Harry states, confusion in his voice. 

“Today, tomorrow, yesterday. I’m ready to become your wife.” She sits up. “I’m ready to settle down, finally get that cat or dog that we’ve been dying to get.” She looks up to the stars and smiles. “It’s time we really focus on us and move forward.”

“We’ve always been moving forward.” Harry is sitting up now, confused, and concerned. 

Y/N moves and sits on his lap. She cups his face gently and smiles at the beautiful face she had to look at from a phone screen for too long. 

“We’d stop moving when I’d go away to travel and do my writing. It might not have felt like it, but it truly did. We’d have movie dates through a computer screen, and it’s not the same as being together cuddled on our couch because I can’t hear your slow chewing so you don’t miss something important or when I give you massages because the bakery has been crazy. We-I deprived us of the little things in our relationship, so I felt it was right. I took our future back into our hands and we can move forward together.” Y/N grabs his left hand and strokes his ring finger where one specific ring should be. “I’m done traveling. I got a new job. I’m starting this autumn. I promise the only traveling I will do is with you by my side.”

“You quit traveling and being a journalist for me.” 

“I mean yeah, Professor Styles has a nice ring to it, don’t you think.” Y/N is laughing at how in shock Harry is. “Did you think I would spend the rest of my life traveling?”

He nods his head and hugs you tight. 

“My darling, my place in this world is right next to you.” 

He grabs her chin and guides her face to his. “I love you,” he whispers against her lips, before closing the distance between them and giving her a soft kiss. 

Y/N and Harry didn’t expect to make it work when they first got together because they were on two different paths, but through the guidance of the canyon moon, together they would go on to live a life full of joy, laughter and the driving force of it all, love. 

 ~ ~ ~

Thank you for reading! Come talk to me about Canyon Moon here

Happy Birthday Harry  🌙

[iam-kenough]

Will  you ever notice me? Arthur Morgan x Original Female Character

Summary:  During they wandering in deep snowstorm, man from  van  der Linde gang found odd looking girl and Dutch decides to take her  to  camp to see if she can be any use, leading life of outlaw with  them.  Quickly, new girl develops feelings towards Arthur, but he sees  her just  as a kid...and she won't take that! It's an original character  story  that starts in the place where Arthur, Dutch and Micah were  supposed to  first meet with Sadie. Instead she's already with them.  

Authors notes: It’s another chapter and you  can find the rest of chapter on my blog if you want to read more of my  fanfiction. I decided to post all parts I have at once so the fic could  catch more attention. Words count: 1984 Chapter 5 It was two months now since she left. Arthur was sitting on his bed, looking directly at his shoes, thinking. I ain't no match for you, that's sure - hisown  words were echoing in his head. Maybe he was a match for her after all. She had to be in love with him if she left after he said it won't be like she thought and he couldn't do anything to ask her again. Maybe...it would be different this time and he shouldn't say all those things? He wasn't bad man. He was the worst. But she loved him for some reason. Maybe he should speak with her back then, telling about Eliza and Isaac, to prove he is no one to love, especially for a young girl. No way she would stay by his side after discovering it. And if she did... Today was the day Dutch decided we gonna talk with Colm. Arthur didn't like the idea and didn't believe anyone should trust this man. But it was Dutch's plan and all he was doing for last 20 years was making Dutch's plan work out. So they met with Colm and shit went down.He was hanging upside down in some kind of basement, he just got shot and all he had right now was his union suit, sticking to blood running from his wound. He looked around to notice a movement in basement corner. Then he heard metalic sound - handcuffs. - Hey - she said and he recognised her voice right away, but it seemed she didn't see him - I guess it's two of us now, buddy. All he could do was to cough and to try find her and try to look at her like she was his only reason to be sane. - They caught you too, didn't they? I don't know what they do with man here. I probably don't have to tell you what they do to women. - Iris - he grunted. - Mr Morgan! - she gasped. But she didn't seem surprised to see him. He saw her crawling towards him, her wrists were covered in blood and she was wearing only a nighgown. That pretty nightgown that Mary-Beth liked. - How you got caught? You never do. O my god! - she covered her face with hands when she noticed how badly injured he was. He couldn't speak. And for some reason all he wanted to say now was ''I think I love you too'' so it wouldn't help. - You have some luck, Mister - she continued - I can reach this lockpick from the table and pass it to you. You gonna be free. I can't lockpick...that's why it's useless to me. And she did. Arthur were fidgeting with it for few seconds and then he was free. Badly injured and almost dead but free. O'Driscolls were stupid enough to leave his guns there. - What about you? Where is the key? - was all he said. - I-I don't know Mr Morgan - she murmured, looking at him with faint small and her lashes were covering her eyes in a shadow - I don't think it's there. They already know me, I tried to run away few times and they wouldn't risk it. - Doesn't matter - he said briefly and started lockpicking her handcuffs - I'm gonna get you out of here. -Look at you...real gentelman, helping me even though I'm just a kid and you are dying, Mr Morgan - he lifted his gaze to look at her. She wasn't sane right know, she looked drugged. - I ain't liking what you are saying, Missy, you mock me? - Oh I could say you a lot of things you would like, Arthur Morgan, but I don't think you would listen to them - she looked into his eyes and now it was clear, she had this wild fever which made her almost insane. - How long they kept you there? - he asked as he lockpicked her handcuffs, throwing them away. He almost forgotten how he was feeling right know, all he was thinking about was her. - I don't know Mr Morgan, but it seemed so long...especially when they touched me.  Oh, they did. Colm was saying weird things to me and I'd like to forget them...- she murmured into his ear - they would be nice only if you were telling them. He started boiling from anger. He decided to kill every man around here and then get back, get her away from here, bring her back to the camp. And he did. He killed those bastards and he was carrying her in her arms towards his horse. - Wait, I think it's horse I stole from Dutch out here - she murmured sleepily, looking above his arm - We can get it, too. Was he mad though? - No one was mad about what ya did. Just sad. And you said you will return the horse, for some reason he believed in this. She nodded her head and cuddled to his back as they were galloping on his horse. The task of rescuing her wasn't done and now what kept Arthur sane was his will to save Iris. As their horse entered the camp they both has fallen on the grass. - O my fuckin' God! - was all Mr Grimshaw said. Home sweet home. It had to be days since she fainted. She had this feverish dream of being rescued by Arthur and he brought her back to camp and... - Mornin' - he said nonchalantly, peeking at her from his side of tent. It was like back then, just different place as gang was occupying another location. She opened her eyes and she touched her temple. She felt that she has some wet cloth on her forehead and she wasn't where she thought she will be. - I am dead, right? - Iris asked, trying to look in voice's direction, but the light was to strong for her - No way I made out of there with fever and slitted wrists. I have to be dead. And you are here, Mr Morgan, that means I'm not only dead but that someone had to burry my sorry ass already. - Ya're not dead, thanks to me - he cleared his throat. She could hear he's smoking a cigarette. - It's always like that, in books - she said - protagonists know he's dead and some kind of ghost or angel tell them they are not. But it's not a book. - If it was book I would find you without being kidnapped first, eh? - That depends - she said - It works like that only with princess and their prince charming. I have no prince charming. But if I had they would find me like you said, ofcourse. - I ain't prince but I helped you. You were almost dead, girl, with pneumonia and wild fever making you babble. She opened her eyes again. Light was unbearable but she turned her face towards him. It was really him, those eyes, this body, this deep voice, visibly patched up and dragging from a cigarette.   - How long...I was out? - she pulled herself up, leaning on one of her elbows. Her lips were dry and when he offered her a glass of water she downed it right away. - Not that long to think in what state you were back then. I think it's a week now. - A week? I don't remember even teeny tiny thing about last 3 weeks so that's not bad - she murmured. When she looked at him the feelings she had for him seemed to hit her on the back of her head, flooding her heart with dirty, cold water of being turned down on that feral night. - I wasn't exactly perfect either, It's first day I tried to walk aroun', piss off Dutch and Micah. - You smell like days without leaving your bed, Mr Morgan - she replied and her voice was surprisingly cold, she was giggling though - but don't worry, that means I smell even worse. He couldn't start a conversation with her.  He was deeply in his thoughts, thinking about things she said to him when he rescued her. - Did someone hurt ya? - he finally said it and it was wildly harsh on her ears. Because they did. They undressed her, touched her and only God himself knew why no one raped her right away. Maybe to play with her longer? It was disgusting and it lasted for days. She was disgusting too now. - You shouldn't worry about it, Mr Morgan. You saved me, I'm safe thanks to you. Thank's to being lucky but mostly to you. - I wanna know if they did - he got up and sat next to her. She jerked away. - It's none of your business... - I rescued you and brought you back, now you are my business, 'kay? - It does not work like that - she whispered - I'm just thankfull, really. You should've been leave me behind. - Wh-what? - he stuttered - Why would I do such thing, kid? - I ain't no kid, especially now - she looked directly into his eyes, throwing daggers and shaking - They let me know I am no kid. Maybe if I were...Maybe if I were they would simply slaughter me without humiliating me like that. But I wasn't. I never heard someone call me those names before - for a little moment he thought she's gonna cry and he's gonna cuddle her and tell her he is sorry and that now he knows that he loves her too, but she didn't, she went on and her voice sounded like it was soaked in venom - I don't know what they planned but someone from them visited me every day. It was usually Colm, I think. Oh, he was the worst of them, he was the one to undress me first.   - Stop, kid, you don't have to say all of it, I get it - he reached for her cheek but she turned away and rised her head high, like she was too proud for his touch. - I ain't kid now, Mr Morgan - she whispered again - Now I'm just a woman who has no value. At this words she got up from her bed and looked around. Her things were there, so the horse she stole from Dutch probably were here too. Arthur was taken back by her. He wasn't only late to love her properly but he was late rescuing her from O'Driscolls. If he knew she was kidnapped, he would come ealier but now he just couldn't find words. A woman with no value. - Dutch! - she called out for him thru the window, waving at him. He looked at her and waved back, smiling faintly - Sorry I returned your horse this way, Dutch! - He seems to be sulking, ya know - Arthur stand next to her and scratched his chin - Since you left he says there is no woman he could trust. - Like I was close to him or anything. It was just a stupid crush, he should know better himself by now. - I think it is one of those hopeless cases, ya know? Unreasonable one. - Then we have something in common. Falling in love stupid way. But to think that now... I will say sorry and maybe even consider setteling for him, Mr Morgan. - Why don't you call me Arthur, darlin'? Like you did few times? She looked at him surprised and then burst into laugh, the most honest one as she patted his arm 'causing a little bit of pain in wound where he was shot. - Because that's what you are to me, aren't you? And to you I'm just a kid, Mr Morgan.   Iris left him shoked and trembling when he realised that maybe he has no words to fix things between them.

[blondie1locks]

Silent killer (Loki)

The avengers sat at the table, Steve and Nat at the heads. Next to Nat was Bruce on her right and across from him was Wanda, Vision next to her. Next to him was Peter and then Clint. On the other side, beside Bruce was Tony, then Loki and Thor. (Steve at the other head.) They were about to eat, and Tony was cooking, leaving his spot empty. It was very hot outside and Loki was leaning on Thor. Nobody was honestly surprised and continued to talk amongst themselves. Thor was involved in the conversation but not Loki. Loki was sweating, not too much, mostly just because of the steam immersing them from Tony’s cooking.

“Is it almost done Tony?” Clint called across the room.

“Yeah, I’m literally starving my ass off.” Nat chimed in quietly but not quietly enough for Tony not to hear.

“I’m working on it.” Tony called.

“I smell something burning.” Nat giggled.

“Hey!” Tony yelled semi offended.

“No, no Mr. Stark I think it smells great.” Peter said.

“Peter, you don’t have to lie to him, he’s a big boy trust me.” Nat said laughing into her fist.

Loki shoved his face further into Thor’s shoulder.

Thor lowered his voice to a whisper, “You alright brother?”

“Hmm.” Loki replied.

“You sure?”

“ ‘M fine Thor.” His voice was muffled. And his face was covered by Thor’s broad shoulder, telling undeniably that he was not REALLY okay. But Thor ignored it for now,

Tony placed down the food to everyone.

“Uh-.” “What’s wrong with Reindeer games?”

“Too hot.” Nat said, putting a piece of chicken into her mouth.

“Well that’s going to be a problem.” Tony said sitting down.

“Why Mr. Stark?” Peter said shoveling food into his mouth.

“Um-” Tony said with food in his mouth “Well the A-C’s broken.”

Nat dropped her fork. And choked, coughing on the bite she was taking. Bruce leaned over and patted her back and she made a gesture of thanking him before taking a sip of water and continuing. “You, probably one of THE richest men in the world, who has a talking robot, your A-C is broken?” “That’s bullshit, just fix it or something.”

“Yeah Nat my A-C is broken, and there is actually nothing I can do about it.” He said shrugging and taking a sip of his drink.

“You build a world class suit with a few materials, inside of a terrorist base where you were being held captive, and you can’t fix your A-C?” She said, pursing her lips.

“Nope.” He said putting another bite into his mouth.

“You want him to get sick.” She said crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair. “You genuinely want him to suffer.”

“Oh that’s what you think?” He said, placing his fork down. She flicked her hand upwards conclusively and returned it to its original crossed position. He chuckled and continued to eat his food. Peter looked around the room, and sort of arched his shoulders and continued to eat, not wanting to be involved. The others sort of watched and ate with raised eyebrows and darting eyes. Their mouth’s turning up and down according to what each person was saying.

“You said he was a dick yesterday, because you're too stubborn to do anything that’s not your way.” She said.

He rolled his eyes.

“No you know what you can’t just hurt the people that love you all the time because you find it funny.” She said, her voice heightening.

“I don’t do that.” He said picking at his food.

“Yeah,” She said tilting her head. “What about all those times you tried to make Bruce hulk out?”

Bruce gulped. “I was uh- totally fine with that by the way.” Bruce said sheepishly.

Nat looked at him with dead eyes. “Or maybe not.” he said

“What about all the times you took tampons out of my room?” “What’s your excuse for that?” “I mean what did you even use them for?” “Never mind I don’t want to know.” “The point is that you have a new member on “your” team now, who comes with his own set of problems, and things that you can use against him.” “I don’t think that Thor wants to have to take care of his brother every night, every single night for the whole summer Tony!” “I mean honestly you could have called a repair man by now.” “This is the second week in a row that the A-C has been off.” “I’m hot too, it’s hot as balls outside, is the A-C on in your room?”

“Actually I want to know too.” Wanda chimed in. “It’s way too hot for you to be this comfortable.”

“No, actually it’s not.” Tony said cooley.

“I think the heat is just getting to us all.” Steve said, wanting to end the argument.

“Well Tony could fix that.” Nat said.

“Um guys,” Bruce started

“What?” Nat asked.

“I think you're disturbing Loki.” He said nodding towards Loki who had his hands over his ears, and had his face pressed in Thor’s shoulder. Thor was stroking his hair.

Nat sighed, putting her head in her hands. “Sorry.” she said.

“It’s alright Natasha.” Thor said “We are going to go to my room now.” Thor stood up, Loki leaning his weight against him. “Come on brother.” Thor said softly

“Mmmm, don’t feel good.” Loki mumbled.

“I know, it’s okay.” Thor said they got to his room, it was the first to the left of the dining table, but straight out of the dining room. Followed by Loki’s then Wanda’s, Steve’s, Nat’s, Peter’s, Vision’s, Bruce’s, and Tony’s at the end of the hall.

Thor at Loki down on the bed, “Here you go brother.” Loki was very pale, he was sweating and honestly he just felt like crying. Had he just been at the table? Father shouting at him? He was not sure where he was really, he tried to stand up to go and see, but Thor urged him down.

“No, no, stay seated brother.” “I’m going to make you feel better just hold on.” Loki rubbed his eyes, the room was spinning, he felt his head getting lighter and lighter, like it was now floating above his body. But his stomach felt heavier, a pit was growing in it. He tried to open his mouth to tell Thor, but his brother was already there with the trash, catching his freefalling vomit. (blue vomit) into the bin.

Loki groaned, his head now felt full of rocks, he fell back on the bed exhausted. But the worst was not over he felt another wave of nausea hit him like bricks and he tumbled over onto himself, grabbing the edges of the bin, and Thor's arm to keep himself steady as his magic broke loose. It swirled around him as he projectile vomited neon green into the trash. Swirling around him were images in a green fog, animated slightly, there was Loki, in his armor and hat, smiling maliciously. Loki in chains, Looking down, Loki falling down the stairs, Loki being beat, Loki laughing, Loki turning into a snake, Loki sleeping. This time he fell back with more force, panting he was now sweating profusely and Thor was at his aid. The images disappeared.

Loki was crying, it was so painful to have that much magic escape from him. He opened his mouth and licked the tears off of his upper lip. Thor pulled him in.

“Are you okay brother?”Thor askes. Loki whimpered.

“Shhh.” “shhh” “You're okay, you're okay.” Thor was rocking him, and picked him up to cradle him.

“Okay, shhh, Loki?” Loki looked up at him with scared eyes.

“Let’s go get your pillow okay?” Loki nodded. He had a cool retaining pillow for this very purpose. They walked into his room and got it, he hadn't really done much to his room which made Thor slightly sad. Loki clutched onto his pillow tightly.

“I can’t.” He sobbed into Thor’s chest.

“No, no no.” Loki grabbed onto Thor’s strong arms. “I can’t.”

What’s wrong Loki what can’t you do?” Thor began to stoke down his hair again. They entered Thor’s room, and Loki went into a fit of coughing. And as he coughed you could see how drained he was becoming.

“Come here Loki.” Thor put Loki back on the bed with his pillow, he continued to cough, it was a dry cough, you could hear it wracking his lungs. Finally he stopped. He rolled onto his back, still clutching the pillow, fresh tears in his eyes, and he latched onto Thor.

“Okay, shh Loki you're okay.” Thor sat down on the bed, squeezing Loki just to get that pressure therapy aspect in there, but not so hard that he might vomit again.

“Thor I feel bad.”

“Hey, hey why Loki?” Thor was still stroking his hair.

“I made them fight?” He asked.

“No, no, no.” “They just have too much faith in the man of iron, Tony.” “He can never live up to it.” “That or, or it could be that he is, doing something to get in my skin.” “Under my skin?” THor explained getting lost in the talking. It got semi late and Thor and Loki fell asleep, the other Avengers were in their beds. In the night Loki woke up in a cold sweat. He felt the room wobbling from side to side, he felt his head pounding against itself from the inside. He sat up and pushed against his temples. Curling over onto himself in pain. He licked his lips and tried not to cry. He was not in his right mind, didn’t have real control over his body, or emotions, but the part of his brain that was still functioning properly did not want to wake up Thor.

But evidently Thor woke up. Loki was hyperventilating, his face beat red. His eyelids were heavy, and kept drooping down.

“Loki?” Thor said, trying to make out the details of the sitting figure beside him in the dark.

“Okay,” Thor sat up and was able to see Loki was crying, and holding his stomach, he was sweating, and his skin was burning hot to the touch. It was even hotter than it had been when they went to sleep, even though the sun was down.

“Shh, Loki, I’m gonna pick you up okay?” Loki mumbled in agreement. Thor at Loki down on the floor, leaning against the bathtub, and he took a cool cloth and dabbed his forehead. Loki sighed.

“Shhh, yeah there you go.” Thor said, kissing Loki on the top of his head.

Thor continued to dab his head with a cool, damp cloth, for no more than 10 minutes before he had to help Loki over to the toilet.

Loki was hunched over, he gagged and projectile vomited into the bowl, falling backwards, but Thor was there to catch him. Thor helped him back to the toilet where he more dribbled vomit out of his mouth before he threw up again. He was however, thankful that his magic was not acting up. They sat there until Loki had no more strength, and nothing left to throw up. Thor sensed someone at the doorway to his room, which he had been sure to close, not wanting to wake up the others. He opened it to see Nat.

“How is he?” she asked, she was dressed in a large t-shirt and shorts. Thor looked at her stunned. Surely he hadn't woken her up, they had been very quiet.

“Light sleeper.” She explained.

“Can I come in?”

Thor was a little flustered. “Oh, yes of course.” “We weren’t too loud were we?” “do you think we woke the others?”

“No definitely not.” She said peeking around the bathroom entry. “Can I go see him?”

“Oh, yes of course.” He said following her in. Loki was not looking well, he seemed to have fallen asleep. Thor was grateful that he was getting any rest at all. He was pale, and sweating, his hair was matted to his face, and although asleep his hands were still shaking. Thor picked him up.

“There you go.” He said placing Loki back on the bed although he knew he could not hear him.

“He probably needs water.” Nat said, cleaning the sweat off of his forehead.

“Yeah, okay, he has his water bottle in his room.” They walked there together, Loki’s dark green water bottle was on his night stand. Thor picked it up, and they went to the kitchen to fill it. Thor also added ice, Nat said colder water was better. Nat got a bottle of Advil, and pepto-bismol. From the kitchen cabinet.

“How you feeling?” She asked Loki as soon as they saw he was awake.

“Not good.” He mumbled into his pillow.

“Okay, drink this can you?” She asked him handing him his water bottle. He nodded. He looked like death. His under eyes were purple and dark, even though he had just been asleep.

“Just drink it slowly brother.” Thor said as he sat next to Loki on the bed, positioning them so that Loki was leaning on Thor.

“It will be over soon.” He said and kissed the top of Loki’s head. Loki leaned against Thor, drinking his water slowly. But it was hard for him to swallow. His body was betraying him, it never got so hot in Asgard, and when it did he could just stay inside and read. He would watch Thor play outside. Completely unaware of what heat could do to him.

Loki grunted his stomach hurt from the water. “No more.” He said pushing his water bottle away. Thor took it and screwed the lid on. Loki buried his face in Thor’s chest.

“Don’t fall asleep yet brother.” Thor said handing Loki the medicine.

“Whas this?” he said, still slurring his words.

“It will help you feel better.” Natasha said.

“Yes.” “Just take it okay Loki?”

“It’s poison.” Loki said, “You want to poison me?” “Because I’m not like you?” “I’m an evil and vile monster, is that what you think, ey? He scooted off Thor.

“No, Loki-” He raised his hand to touch Loki’s shoulder, and he flinched violently. Thor looked at his hand and placed it down. Loki was still freaking out.

“Hey, hey.” Thor raised his hand more slowly. Loki jerked back.

“No, no!” Loki said. “They are gonna get you.”

“Who?”

“The avengers.” “They won’t let you keep hitting me.” “locking me in cells.” “Torturing me with heat.” “I promise you Thor will tell them one day.” “And you can’t get away with it anymore, you can’t.” Loki said, voice breaking.

“He thinks I’m our father…” Thor said, his voice trailing off at the end.

“Your father did those things?” Nat asked.

“Yeah, he, he wasn’t a big fan of Loki I guess,” “I was too blinded by how well I was treated.”

Loki broke off in a fit of coughs again, his magic was unstable, and the wall behind his kept changing colors as he coughed. Nat was staring at the wall, Thor was looking at his brother.

Loki collapsed onto Thor’s lap.

“Hey, shh, your okay brother.”

“Thor?” Loki looked up, his eyes wide like a fearful child. Loki took the medicine, and fell asleep.

“Let’s just hope he sleeps through the night.” Nat said.

“Hopefully.” Thor replied. “You know I do feel badly, about what happened to him through his life, with our father.”

“I know.” Natasha said sweetly. She smiled. “I was my headmistress’ favorite child, so blinded by receiving her praise that I forgot I was the favorite because I was good at my job,” She sighed. “And my job was killing.” She crossed her arms and looked off. “She was so mean to the other girls, but not me, she treated me like an angel.” She scrunched her face. “They were beat every night Thor, every night, while I slept soundly.”

[packsbeforesnacks]

This is Side One || Ariana & Winn

TIMING: Tuesday, June 2nd, 2020, Sunset LOCATION: Winn’s car. PARTIES: @letsbenditlikebennett & @packsbeforesnacks SUMMARY: Winn picks Ariana up to have a night watchin’ stars at the cabin. On the car ride over, the two have a conversation about grief, and about the future for Ariana and the pack. WARNINGS: Depression and grief, sibling death mentioned (Celeste). SOUNDTRACK: “Dead on Arrival” by Fall Out Boy

Although she was still a little bit upset at Winn for not giving a warning that he was leaving town, Ariana knew she didn’t want to hold a grudge against him forever. Celeste’s death had been a reminder of just how fragile life was. It was better to hear him out now and work towards getting back to being good again. She’d always considered other wolves family in a sense, even Salva who pissed her off to no end, but now it felt more important to cherish that bond. To hold on to the people she cared about and never let go. She’d given Morgan and Deirdre a wave before heading out the door, backpack in tow, in the same leggings and soccer team t-shirt she’d worn the last two days. She’d been sitting on the steps, weight pressed back in her palms, staring up at the sky until she saw Winn’s car stopping in front of the house. She slowly pushed herself off the step and dragged herself toward the car. Moving in general still took about all the energy she had it in her to muster. She let herself in the car and greeted, “Hey, I’m glad you’re back.” She lightly punched his arm. “Now no leaving town again without telling me, okay?”

A lot had gone on in Winn’s absence, but nothing really made him feel worse than not bein’ able to be there for Ariana in her time of need. He couldn’t have known — or… well, he could have known. Had he just fixed his damn phone, not felt like he had the luxury of waitin’. He knew about the bounty. He should’ve been prepared. But he knew, now. Knew he wouldn’t do that again, knew that his pack, because… well, they were, now, deserved at least a heads-up next time. Noah, most of all, but… well, Ariana and Layla were next down. “I’m glad to be back,” Winn agreed as Ari hopped in the car. “Now, tell me whatcha want for food, nothin’ is too extravagant. And I am not,” Winn added, because it was his lot in life now, “tryin’ to bribe you, I promise. Just worried y’all don’t eat when I’m not around, it’s the southern in me.” He turned the music down a skosh, giving Ari a once over. It didn’t seem, like, great to tell her she looked a bit shit, given the circumstances, but Winn did kinda want to throw her into a shower and give her the fluffiest pajamas. So, there was that. “Um, so,” was there a good way to start this? probably not, “for what it’s worth, I am sorry. For makin’ y’all worry. And for fightin’ Blanche without, like, at least a referee-wolf there. Or in human form. Or somethin’.” He grimaced. “I’m the pack dummy.”

As pissed off as she had been, Ariana was glad to have Winn back in town. More importantly, he was safe. She wasn’t sure she could handle losing someone else right now. It already felt as if somehow gravity’s pull on her became stronger and kept her laying on the ground most of the time when she hadn’t been at school finishing exams. Even when she tried to get up and move, she somehow kept finding herself back on the floor, just staring off trying to cling to her favorite memories in hopes they’d never slip away. She’d been so worried when Winn ran off, that seeing him had washed a huge wave of relief over her. And of course he was trying to feed her. They hadn’t gotten too much of a chance to hang out, but it was pretty much guaranteed that every time they did he was making sure she was well-fed. She forced a weak smile and answered, “How about cheeseburgers? Didn’t think you were. I already forgave you, no bribes necessary.” Her appetite had been pretty nonexistent, so she figured one of her favorite comfort foods would help. Plus, if she knew Winn at all, he’d be pretty set on making sure he was fed. He was caring like that, or at least, he always seemed to be with her. Her grin came a little more naturally when he mentioned being the pack dummy. She chided, “Hey now, you don’t get a monopoly on that one. It’s a title we get to pass around, but yeah, don’t do that again. I don’t know what I’d do if something bad happened to you or Blanche.”

“Mmm. I know just the place for burgers. Let’s ride, kiddo.” Winn turned the key, his car wheezing and coughing back to life. It would be just about his luck for it to give up the ghost (inappropriate?) when he really needed it. Just get me home, okay? His dad had nagged him to replace the car after it had just barely made their trip back up from Philly. Winn really didn’t know how to react to parental nagging, given he’d gone without it for nearly a decade, but his dad was comin’ from a good place. And he was the one havin’ to drive the car most often lately, so Winn couldn’t truly be mad. He swung towards the Outskirts, knowin’ that he and Rio had destroyed some burgers from the joint on the way out of town. Winn wasn’t proud of the way that he’d grabbed dinner from there throughout April and May — and his dad had been appalled at the lack of basics in his fridge, another reason why Winn needed to move out — but it really was that good. Perfect amount of grease. Killer milkshakes. Knew how to make actual sweet tea. “Don’t worry. I won’t. And we won’t.” It felt like a half-promise. Livin’ in White Crest, Winn never felt safe tellin’ someone that he’d be okay. Not forever, not even for a day or two, dependin’ on the week. He spoke quietly, takin’ his eyes off the road probably longer than was strictly safe, to look at Ari. “I get if you don’t wanna talk ‘bout it, but… losin’ someone, ‘specially someone special to you… Well, I don’t want to tell you how to feel. So, how ‘bout you tell me how you feel? If you’re, um, up for it.”

Ariana did her best to focus on Winn’s company rather than the crushed feeling that just couldn’t seem to leave her chest. It felt as if her heart had been trampled on and was left heavier for it. It weighed down her every move, but if she shifted focus long enough, she was sure she could work up an appetite. She cracked a weak smile and joked, “I trust you know your meat.” It made her feel just a little better that Winn would be more careful. She could only hope Blanche would do the same. “Good,” she said, plainly. Not having the energy to push the topic any further. She originally planned on giving him a good smack and giving him some shit about the whole thing, but she was tired and it was pretty obvious he realized the whole thing was a dumb idea now. With the mention of how she was feeling, a clear grimace went across her face. Her lungs felt as if the wind had been knocked out of them as her mind searched for her words. She knew Winn asked that genuinely, but fuck, did talking about it really suck. Not that thinking about it was much better and it had been most of what she’d done outside of finals and the few distractions that could hold her attention if only for a few moments. She looked down at her lap and finally answered, “Honestly? Really fucking shitty.” With another deep breath, she looked to him and then back at the road ahead of them, “Sad. Mad. Empty. You name it. Everything just feels so wrong. We were supposed—” Her voice cracked and she realized this is why talking about it felt so hard. “We were supposed to enjoy freedom together. She never— She deserved better.”

Winn was at a loss for what to say. He couldn’t make it better, this wasn’t a problem that could be smoothed over with money or smooth-talking. Only time. “I don’t have any platitudes for you. I won’t disrespect you by sayin’ that it’ll get better, or that she would have wanted you to be happy. That don’t fix shit.” He sighed. “I will say this, what I’ll always say to you: You have to feel what you feel. If you don’t want to talk about it, that’s fine. But you can’t keep it inside either. Freedom is…” Okay, this was either going to go well or terribly. “Freedom ain’t just about bein’ free from the shit that’s tryin’ to kill you. It’s mental, too. I— I don’t understand what you’re going through; I can’t understand. But I can tell you that wrappin’ yourself up in ‘supposed’ to isn’t going to help you. I spent a really long time convincin’ myself that I knew what other folks wanted, that I should do x, y, or z, because it was what I was supposed to do. Be a good son, let people go, make it so they didn’t have to worry about me. But that isn’t what they wanted, and that isn’t what mattered. All it did was wrap around me, until the guilt was all that I was. I mean, shit, I’m still workin’ through it, but I don’t want that for you, Ariana. If I can help it. Celeste did deserve better. God, there are so many fuckin’ ways in which she, in which you, in which all of us deserve better than the shit hands we’ve been dealt. Only thing we can change is how we play that hand. Foldin’ ain’t an option, but that don’t mean you have to go all in. Take the time you need, I guess, is what I’m tryin’ to say. Don’t let anybody tell you — hell, even me — how to grieve, or process, or move forward. So long as you know that… Well, so long as you know that we still have to play the game. We’re already breakin’ the rules, just by still bein’ here. And those rules need to be broken. ‘Cause fuck ‘em. Fuck all of it. ‘Cause life ain’t actually a game, and who cares if you win. So long as you’re following your own path, that’s all that… anyone can hope for you.” He coughed, hands squeezing at the steering wheel as they pulled through the drivethrough. After he ordered, he added, “Sorry, I got a little carried away. Just… Don’t feel like you have to pretend, not around me.”

As much as the whole conversation made her stomach turn, Ariana knew he was right in many regards. She’d never been one to avoid her feelings, but feeling her way through this? It was hell. It’d been four days since she’d seen or spoken to Celeste and each one of them felt impossibly long. Her hands were clasped together in her lap as her head was still pressed against the cool glass of the window. “I don’t know, like I am just kind of feeling through this whole thing and trying to accept what I’m feeling, it’s just hard. And I can’t really think too much past each minute as it passes because if I try to look ahead it just feels… wrong. Like we had all these plans for the future and I’m not sure how I’m supposed to just, I don’t even know, figure out what I want with my future now?” She listened as Winn spoke and couldn’t help the tears that welled up in her eyes. They did all deserve better, especially Celeste, but that wasn’t how the world worked. It even seemed disproportionate at that. Like somehow by just being wolves, hunters, or even remotely associated with the supernatural, there was more darkness to overcome. She nodded slowly and shakily replied, “I know. I guess supposed to doesn’t really exist. If things were supposed to be some way they just would be. It just— Nothing feels right. I don’t feel right. I’m sad, I’m mad, I’m lost— Everything feels just like this huge weight that makes it so much harder to do even simple things like take a fucking shower. And I miss her, I miss her so fucking much. I miss hearing her constantly humming some stupid ABBA song. I miss the way she’d tussle my hair when we’d joke around. I miss the sound of her voice and even miss her soft snores that I’d always make fun of.” She sniffled and her voice sounded desperate as she spoke as she spoke as if it would change anything at all. She tried to smile as Winn told her to feel free to not pretend for him or anyone else, but it came off as a pained grimace at best. “I know, I don’t have to be anything for anyone and there’s no right way to deal with this. Everything just feels so— I don’t know heavy. Wrong. Lost. Take your pick.”

“You don’t have to have an answer,” Winn said, tucking the takeout bag behind his seat before pulling out onto the road. “To your future, to your feelings.” There was a milkshake — raspberry lemon — in his hand, and he offered it to Ariana. “It’s... not much, I know. But when we got burgers, that first time, you told me how much you liked these. I tried one, grimaced through the lemon and raspberry, not really my thing. But it reminds me of you. Not sour, not cloyingly sweet. Strong and tart and someone’s favorite flavor, somewhere. A lot of folks’, probably. I’m not... good at metaphors, but we all find our favorite flavors, our people. And we hold ‘em tight. Because we don’t know how long they’ll be there. No one knows.” A sad smile as he turned his attention back to the road. “I love you, kiddo. Ariana. And I’m here for you. You’re one of my favorite flavors.”

[flydotnet]

Bad Things Happen Bingo! The event where you send me requests according to this marvelous card! (Red cross is the completed prompt, character headshots are prompts I’ve already filled. I don’t have any request left, so feel free to send in suggestions for this card!).

SPOILERS FOR KAZETSUYO EPISODE 20 FROM THIS POINT FORWARD. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

I'm not strong. I just do what needs to be done, no matter what.

I thought I was “teehee clever” when choosing to write about a canon example of Working Through the Cold (aka one of my favorite tropes ever), but all I remembered is how powerful and painful (in the best way) the 20th episode of KazeTsuyo was. Holy shit. I hesitated for a long time writing about KazeTsuyo, actually. This show, to me, as such excellent writing I could never match up against it. In the end, the plot bunny wouldn't leave after I went through The Episode:tm: for the 2nd time on my 2021 rewatch of the series, to the point I wrote this before finishing said rewatch (still have Day 2 of Hakone to rewatch - I need to get to it); so I decided "fuck it, I'm writing it", and there were are. I think I at least didn't butcher the series. It may be, huh... wack because I've been on a 2nd person POV with weird dialogue format knack lately, but I hope fellow KazeTsuyo fans who're in search/need for more content are gonna be happy with me barging into this fandom like a torpedo.

Also, man do I love Shindo (please excuse me spelling it that way: if I spell it "Shindou" like the canonical tag does, I'll be mistaken with another character, I'm dumb like that). Imean, I knew the moment I first saw him he'd at least be my favorite design, but then he just hit all my fav character soft spots: hardworking, selfless to a fault, kind, internally struggling... and I guess, yeah, episode 20 was a thing and I'm a freak. I originally planned on writing this to be a softer fic, like y'know, just writing a casual Aotake day with the prompt in mind; but I just had to be a terrible person instead. Sorry Shindo, I swear I love you.

(also, does anyone have a kazetsuyo discord server i could join because i need to scream about this show)

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They’re Waiting

Summary: No matter what happens, you will fulfill the promises you've made; even if you break in the process.

Fandom: Kaze ga Tsuyoku Fuiteiru/Run With the Wind

Wordcount: 2K words

Event hosted by @badthingshappenbingo​

AO3 version available here.

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The moment you woke up this morning, on the very second a hacking coughing fit erupted from your throat, you knew how difficult today was going to be – but it didn’t make waver in your resolve. If anything, it made you conscious of how far you’d be willing to go despite things getting in your way, as long as you felt a sense of duty towards them.

 No matter what.

 Yuki tries to convince you not to do that. He may have escorted you out of your room when he realized you wouldn’t be walking straight for a little while and brought you to the train station, he’s still scowling at you like you’re a child doing something he shouldn’t (which, truth be told, you are doing right now: usually, you’d be wise enough to know attempting what you’re about to head into would be a terrible idea for a multitude of factors); but you’re firm in your decision and accept a bottle of juice as you end a call with Musa.

 No matter what, you’ll do it.

 Despite how much he doesn’t want you to run, Yuki accompanies you to the Odohara Relay Station. You don’t speak a single word to each other on the ride there, with him crossing his arms and you reading your sister’s excited messages about this year’s family reunion. It’s rare so many people can gather, so they’ve clearly made an effort for you. To watch you run.

Once you’re there, you vaguely hear people around you, hear Yuki argue on the phone about something – you think you can catch it being about Jota and Joji, something about being agitated, something about Hanako – but you’re too tired to catch it. It’ll be a struggle to do this race, so if you can spare yourself the expense of energy you’d need… then you’ve got to, as sad as that is. They’re all counting on you, after all.

 No matter what, you can’t let anyone down now that the big day is here.

 Haiji calls Yuki’s phone, which he then hands down to you. Your conversation is short – he notices how noisy the relay station is (you know people are walking around, discussing what’s, tells you his concern, reminds you that you can drop out if you feel too weak to participate, and lastly, urges you to hydrate well.

When Yuki asks you what he says, you skip over most of it, merely repeating the last part as he looks at you, features twisted in worry, and the feeling in your chest keeps deepening despite it having to compete with whatever you woke up with (a cold, you’d assume, hopefully wishing it’s nothing threatening).

 You can’t find something to reply to your sister telling you to get first place on Section Five.

 You know your turn is coming, so you rise to your feet, to take off the coat on your shoulders and the scarf tied around your neck, handing them off to Yuki. The last thing you take off is your mask, before you’re assaulted with a wave of dizziness and almost collapse back to the ground. Luckily, Yuki is here to catch you back before that can happen, a grunt escaping his lips as he grabs you by the arm; all that, once again, happens in a tense silence.

Saikyo, Tokyo Sport – they’re starting to call people whose ranks are around Joji’s. You’re up soon.

 “I’d better go,” you struggle to tell him as calls are made around the both of you.

“But it’s Section 5,” Yuki tries to argue. “Actually, no matter what section—”

Kansei, Kikui! Get ready! They’re coming at the same time!

“It’s okay,” you reply back, putting on your best smile. “I’ll promise I’ll make it there.”

 Yuki doesn’t walk to the line with you, staying behind after giving up on keeping you out of the run. He himself knows you can’t drop out now – if you do, you’re forcing the entire team to forfeit. You’d be making everyone’s efforts to get to this point null, including your own, and that’s something you can’t let happen.

Even if you can barely keep your balance and inhaling the cold, dry air of early January is making your airways burn, you’re going to run Section Five and keep your promise to Yuki, to your family, to everyone around you.

 No matter what.

 -------------------

 You got the sash from a very shocked-looking Joji, but ignored much of what you thought about it so you could put it on and go on with your section. The cold winds have the benefit of being soothing against your fevered skin, bringing a welcome sense of relief, as little as it is compared to everything else you’re already fighting against.

The dizziness messing with your balance, the coughing fits seizing your chest and throat, the lethargy in your limbs, the haze in your vision – they’re not leaving anytime soon. You need all of these to run properly, but none of them will cooperate, so you’ll need to force them to. It’s tiring, it’s painful, but it’s what needs to be done.

 You watch everyone around you run past you, effortlessly dodging if they were behind you, as people cheer on and people in cars say things over the speakers attached to them. You can barely make sense of the cacophony rattling through your aching head, of everyone around, and it’s putting one more weight on your shoulders: you don’t even get to profit from the landscapes or people’s encouragements, stuck in a bubble which muffles every sound as if you were drowning.

In a sense, you have such a difficult time breathing in and out that you may as well be underwater. That’d explain the struggle of your limbs against an air resistance that just doesn’t exist.

 Before you is an insurmountable mountain that keeps getting higher and higher – Hakone’s mountains are the steepest in the world suddenly takes on a different meaning – and you wish once more you weren’t plagued by sickness. You’d have a lot of fun running up it, showing everyone back home how living in the valley made you fit for the legendary Section Five; but instead, you’re struggling to even alternate between left foot and right foot, as if walking had become a chore.

Oh, that’s right, no matter how isolating or soundproof the bubble is, everyone’s watching you, be it from the sides of the Hakone Ekiden or from back home – don’t forget about them. They’re all counting on you. No matter what, you can’t let them down, can’t let them see the team fail to see the sun rise again on their journey.

 Someone’s close enough for you to understand what they’re saying without having to focus on it – they’re giving you a drink. Haiji told you to hydrate, especially since there’s a powerful fever sticking to your skin and poisoning your nerves, so you accept it in an attempt to quench the undefeatable thirst of illness.

You burst the bubble for a minute to get that bottle of water and take a couple precious sips – a drop of relief in your sea of anguish.

 Breathing in and out requires more and more effort with each passing step, but the strength of your promise is what keeps you going. The mere idea of obligating everyone out of the run they’ve all worked so much for – not to mention Haiji, who literally made himself sick over it and painstakingly collected dorm members for four years just for this very moment – disgusts you to the point it pushes your legs forward despite the pain and the cough you have to repress more and more, with less and less effectiveness every time you do.

And that’s when the coach starts speaking to you from the car that’s been tailing you for a while (at least, that’s what you assume; truth be told, all you’re going off of is the constant sound of a motor and wheels).

 Shindo, go is a challenging game. The stronger you are, the more you value the way you lose. How you recognize your loss and resign is key. No one blames the challenger for resigning or mocks him for running away. If anything, they praise him for securing an escape route. It’s because everyone knows that man was fighting to win until the very end.  

You know why he’s saying that. He wants to soften the blow of what it’d mean if you gave up here and there, throwing the race away to preserve yourself from getting worse and worse by the minute, by reminding you not being there running against yourself would be the wisest option. Of course, you’re aware of how reckless you’re acting, but you’re putting your team’s honour and reason to be here before your wellbeing – you know that. You’re assuming that choice.

 Shindo, raise your hand if you can’t keep going. I’ll stop you immediately.

You continue running.

 The coach eventually leaves the car and starts running beside you, which makes you almost realize how slow you are if he can keep up with you with seemingly no difficulty. It’s a little hard to say considering you can barely hear anything and you’re too focused on not collapsing to actually pay attention to anything that isn’t the road in front of you, as blurry as it tends to get.

A coughing fit you’ve been keeping in for what feels like hours prevents you from breathing in, forcing you to stop and cough it all out until you’ve caught your breath. Your legs are trembling and you’re folded in half, sweat falling to the ground.

 “That’s enough,” Coach Tazaki tells you in a paternal tone you’ve never heard him speak in before. “You did well.”

In the corner of your eyes, you can see his hand get closer and closer to your back, fingers ready to tear away your number sign – but you find the strength to get back up, shaky breathing in tow, before he can do so, clutching Kansei’s sash with hands like claws.

Waiting… They’re all waiting for me…

 And, on that, you resume running, resume fighting against yourself by taking the hard way out.

 It’s painful, even more so than earlier, and everything that was sore is now almost unbearably so – yet you keep marching on, keep struggling against illness and heights alike, consciousness slowly starting to fade out. You’re running as if you were in a dream, almost, the landscape around you turning into white, unable to keep a straight line as you almost forget why you were here to begin with, why you’ve been pushing against the world for who knows how long.

It’s the end, you feel it, since the bubble doesn’t prevent you from fully hearing cheers getting louder and louder, so you continue pushing no matter how terrible you’re feeling, no matter how little you can feel aside from your body’s screams for you to stop what you’re doing and putting it through so much misery.

 They’re waiting. They’re waiting for you.

 You see the finish line from far away, but never up close.

 --------------

 When you wake up, all of your teammates present in the room (Haiji, Kakeru, Joji, Yuki – the coach is here too) try to jump to your side, before the coach orders them to leave you some breathing space. One of your first reflexes is to try and grab a mask, which someone gives you (looking up a little, you realize it’s Yuki). They all look relieved, yet a little antsy, and you’re not sure of what to tell them after sleeping for what must have been hours, considering the lights are on – as far as you remember, it was broad daylight when you went to sleep.

Still, seeing them around you reminds you how why you went to such great lengths despite everything – they’re thankful, yet worried, but most of all, you’re all still running.

[swlbarnes]

Othello Act III Scene III - Jack Kline x Reader

Summary: Jack sees the reader with a new friend in a bar, and he learns about a whole new emotion he’s never felt before.

Pairing: Jack Kline x Reader

Word count: ~4.4k

Warnings: jealousy, alcohol consumption (not excessive), Sam and Dean teaching Jack about healthy relationships, passive mentions of cheating

A/N: okay so I’m sorry, I know this isn’t any of the requests that have been sent in! I promise I have all of them, and I’m writing them ASAP. This is just something I had started in my drafts and thought I could finish it up late last night. This isn’t my favorite thing I’ve written, but it’s something, and we always need more Jack fics in this fandom. 

BUY JACK’S SCENT HERE!

Jack still wasn’t quite used to human emotions. His angelic side often felt like an awkward juxtaposition next to the pure humanity of something as intense as emotion. As a result, he often isn’t sure what he’s actually feeling at all. He knows some of the names, like he knows that when he eats a really good burger he feels happiness, and when he sees a stray cat on the streets he feels sadness. This new emotion, however, was entirely new. He knew only one thing about it.

It was positively the worst one yet.

The stool beneath him was a bit too cold, and the beer just slightly too warm. The bitter bite of carbonation provided him no comfort as he watched you from across the bar. An uncharacteristic scowl curled on his lips at the sight. You sat at one of the various tables scattered about the room, elbows resting on the table and your chin perched atop your steepled hands. A half empty drink sat forgotten, the glass perched precariously over the edge of the tabletop. A man that Jack could only describe as repulsive sat in the seat beside you. His predatory gaze swept over your form, and his tongue darted out to drag across his lips just slowly enough to curl Jack’s lips into a scowl.

The sound of your laughter rang clear over the pounding of the old rock playlist streaming through the bar’s speakers. In any other situation, such a thing would bring the nephilim nothing but joy, but at that very moment as he watched your hand brush against the other man’s upper arm, he felt his grace flaring with undiluted rage. His fingers flexed with the static energy coursing across his skin. Oh, what he wouldn’t give to storm over to that table and smite that man where he sat…

This thought startled him out of his engrossment. No, that’s bad. That’s a bad thing, he thought to himself. We don’t do bad things. (Y/N) said they believe in you not to do bad things. Jack took a deep breath in, held it for a count of five, and then slowly let it out, just as you taught him to do in stressful situations. His nerves settled slightly, but the constant reminders of you in his head, he couldn’t help but continue to feel this new… feeling. He had to find out what it was called. Or maybe it isn’t called anything at all. What if this is a sign that he is becoming just like the angel that created him? What if this is all Lucifer’s influence?

Jack swallowed down the rising lump in his throat and curled his fingers carefully around the glass of whiskey Dean had ordered for him upon arrival. It had taken a few minutes for the group to convince the bartender that he was of legal age, the act of lying making Jack’s stomach turn with uncertainty, but soon enough Dean was pushing a glass of dark amber liquid into his hands and ordering him to “loosen up.” The nephilim tried to down the drink quickly, realizing how little of the drink there was and wondering why he would be given such a small portion. His questions all went out the window once the alcohol hit his tongue and burned its way down the back of his throat. He spiraled into a coughing fit, which Dean patted his back through with a full body laugh. It felt safe to say that Jack wasn’t quite ready for whiskey, but in hopes of keeping Dean happy, he continued to take careful, calculated sips throughout the night whenever the older hunter happened to be looking.

This time as Jack raised the glass to his lips, it was of his own accord. His expression morphed into a wince at the way the liquid burned down his throat, but he couldn’t bring himself to care about the off putting feeling or taste anymore. He needed something, anything to get his mind off of you and the way you continued to lean closer and closer to the wretched man by your side.

One more glance over to your table showed him that the gap between your bodies had long since vanished. The man held his phone between the pair of you as you both peered at the screen with keen eyes. Jack knew how to work a cell phone too. He could be doing that too. He tipped his head back and downed the rest of the whiskey.

His glass met the counter with a loud thud! He swore he heard the telltale sound of cracking glass, but in all honesty, he truly couldn’t care less about some worthless whiskey glass falling victim to his low mood. Grumbled words of annoyance fell from his lips and echoed off the dark wooden bar his face tilted down towards.

Dean’s telltale chuckle sounded from the nephilim’s right side, and soon enough a familiar hand donning a silver ring appeared in his sights. “What’s got you all glum, kid?” The elder Winchester wondered aloud. Jack offered him no more than a huff and a shake of his head.

Dean had no time to question any further before Sam popped in on Jack’s left. A concerned hand settled on the boy’s shoulder, and it took everything in him not to shake it away in his angered state. “Jack? What’s going on?” The taller man questioned.

Jack trailed his fingernails along the swirls of the wooden table top in an attempt to keep part of his brain occupied. “Nothing,” he muttered. A lie. But Sam and Dean said it’s okay to lie sometimes, right? Still, it didn’t sit right in his stomach. He found himself motioning with his empty glass to the bartender for another round, hoping for anything to rid his mouth of the taste of his falsehood. 

Dean let out an amused scoff as the bartender refilled Jack’s glass and turned away again. He watched the nephilim take in half of the drink with a scowl before he spoke up. “Well, it’s clearly not nothing, because an hour ago you were hardly able to take a sip of that, and now you’re downing it like a pro. Coming from experience, that’s usually a bad sign for someone’s mental state. So, be real with me here, kid: what’s going on with you?”

Jack swirled the remaining liquid around in his glass to give his eyes something to focus on. Sam and Dean held their presence on either side of his body, and that nagging reminder was just enough to cause him to mutter out a reply. “He shouldn’t be that close,” he murmured. His voice was hardly audible over the thumping of the bar’s speakers. 

Dean shuffled a bit, turning around to scan the surroundings. Sam seemed to pick up on everything just a split second before his brother was able to do so, the taller of the Winchesters letting out a deep chuckle. “Jack, are you jealous?” He teased playfully.

Jack’s brows tugged together in confusion. He turned slightly in his seat to face the hazel eyed man. “Jealous?” He repeated the word, grimacing slightly at the off putting taste it seemed to leave on his tongue. Dean hummed his confirmation with a face splitting grin.

“Yeah, jealous. Y’know, like, you want what someone else has got, and it makes you angry, because they don’t deserve it and you do?” The elder brother clarified. Had it not been for the teasing edge to his tone, Jack would have agreed immediately. Instead, the young nephilim found himself pausing for a moment.

A quick shuffle in his bar stool. A shift of his glass from one hand to another. A slow shake of his head. “No… No, no I’m not… jealous. I’m fine. I have nothing to be jealous about.” Another lie. Tonight was not his night.

Sam settled down in the seat by his side, letting out a soft sigh. “It’s nothing to be ashamed of, Jack. Dean kids around a lot, but honestly? It’s okay. Human emotions are all new to you. It’s important that you get everything sorted out and you understand what’s going on. Isn’t that right, Dean?” He fixed his brother with a look that could only say agree with me or else this kid might never listen to us again. Dean rolled his eyes, but conceded. 

“Yeah,” he huffed out in his usual gruff tone of voice. “Yeah, Jack, it’s fine.” Clearly this was much less fun than he originally had in mind. Jade irises swept over the fellow patrons of the bar as if searching for some escape from what seemed to have taken a turn into one of Sam’s more emotional conversations. Jack paid him little mind; how could he care about Dean’s current predicament when that man had just placed his own hand over top of your own? The fire in the pit of Jack’s stomach went alight once more as you tossed your head back in a laugh.

Sam’s eyes widened ever so slightly at the distinct sound of cracking glass. The hunter was quick to grab the damaged drink glass from Jack’s death grip before any more harm could come to it, but the fractured veins already running up and down its surface were both unmistakable and irreversible. He cleared his throat as he set the glass down on the bar. “Okay, so,” he began with his best attempt to push away the shock of what just happened. “Jack, it’s important to understand that being jealous is entirely normal, but it’s also pretty important to handle it correctly. Right now, they have no obligation to you to not flirt with anyone else.”

“So how do I get them to stop talking to him?”

Sam chuckled and shook his head. “That’s not quite how it works. They’re always going to be allowed to talk to whoever they want. They’re a free person, and it’s not right to try to control them, do you understand?”

Jack furrowed his brows and focused his eyes on a pocket of air a few inches out from his face as he thought about what he was told. “I… yes, I understand. I would never want to do anything that could hurt (Y/N), and trying to tell them what they can and can’t do, that would hurt them… yes?”

Dean decided that this was his time to worm his way back into the conversation. “Exactly, Jack. But!” The hunter flourished his glass of whiskey as he plopped himself down on the stool on the opposite side of his brother. Sam’s glare could be felt without being seen, but after 36 years of that same glare, Dean built an immunity long ago. It slid off of him like water on a duck. “If you go over there, and sweep ‘em off their feet, they’ll forget about that guy in seconds. Guarantee it.” He cast the young man a smirk and tipped his glass back to take a swig.

Jack tilted his head in a display that likened him even more so than usual to his chosen father. “I know I don’t know too much about social interactions, but for some reason picking them up off the ground doesn’t seem very polite.”

The alcohol caught in Dean’s throat and he hacked out a rough cough. Jack reached out in an attempt to help, but the older man waved him away with the arm that wasn’t busy trying to wipe the burning amber liquid away as it poured from his nose. Sam, on the other hand, dragged a hand over his mouth in a desperate attempt to hide his sudden fit of laughter. “No, Jack. That’s- that’s not what Dean meant. Please, please don’t go actually pick them up off the ground. What my idiot brother is trying to say is, you should go talk to them, see if they wanna hang out with you instead. Be subtle about it, but show that you’re interested. Do you get it?”

“Of course.”

Jack did not get it at all. He would never admit that to the brothers, though. Their expertise with romance was clear from Dean’s endless stories of past exploits, and Jack was no stranger to the partners Sam spent time with previously either. He seemed particularly fond of a young woman named Jess, whom the boy had only heard about after an all nighter and a good amount of alcohol passing through the Winchester’s system. Still, it was clear that the Winchesters had a way with words that made them successful in the romance department, and if he was to be a Winchester as well, he would surely have to prove himself worthy. That was the thought process that swirled around his head as he hopped down to the floor, being sent on his way with two hearty pats to his back.

One step, two steps, regret regret regret. This was not a good idea. He should turn back now. There was no way that this was going to end well. He should’ve swallowed his pride and admitted that he had no idea how to seduce someone. He should go back, he should talk to the brothers and-

“Hey Jack!”

Too late.

He plastered what he hoped to be a confident smile on his face and finished his journey to your table in a couple long strides. His hands remained stuffed in his jacket pockets as he shifted nervously from foot to foot. “Hello,” he greeted simply. A pause. A questioning look from the man by your side. A skip in the beats of Jack’s heart. It all happened at the same moment, but somehow that moment seemed to stretch for what felt like years. The nephilim’s mind blanked on any and all words he knew, whether they be English, Latin, Enochian, or anywhere in between. His tongue felt heavy and dry in his mouth, awkwardly taking up far too much space as it pressed against the backs of his teeth. Did his tongue really never fit in his mouth properly? Was that a problem? Maybe he should ask Sam and Dean. This was a mistake anyways, you probably thought he was out of his mind. You probably wanted to be left alone. He shouldn’t have come over.

What he wasn’t able to comprehend in his panicked state, however, was the adoring smile dancing across your lips. Your fingers interlaced and tucked just below your chin as you leaned toward Jack from where he stood across the table. His eyes flickered around the room in a clear flurry of uncertainty. His Adam’s apple bobbed with a heavy swallow. When you noticed the non-stop fidgeting of his hands inside his pockets, you decided that this was your turn to speak up for him. “How’s your night going?” You asked the man, tilting your head to show him that you were engaged in what he has to say.

Wild eyes met your own, wide with what looked like shock. “Oh! It’s, uh, it’s going… well. It’s good. Pretty good.” He dropped his gaze to the floor, where he kicked at a discarded napkin littering the hard woods. “How is your night?” His voice sounded muffled through the fluffy collar of his jacket that pressed against his lips. A small smile adorned your face in response to his suddenly shy body language. This usually bubbly and outgoing young man had been reduced to a puddle of stuttering goo right in front of you, and that simple thought was enough to send you into a red faced flurry of glee.

“I’m pretty good. Jack, I actually have someone I want you to meet!” You chirped and turned to the stranger by your side. “Jack, this is Tom! Tom, this is my friend Jack I was telling you about.”

Tom turned to the nephilim with a friendly smile. He held out his hand for the boy to take. Jack eyed the appendage suspiciously for a brief moment. “Jack! Of course! It’s great to meet you. (Y/N) here has told me so much about you.” He greeted in a cheery tone. Jack slowly took the man’s hand and shook it just like Sam and Dean taught him to. The uncertain look never left his eyes.

“You have?”

Luckily, Tom seemed to take the boy’s confusion as a bit of a joke. He held his hands up in mock surrender with a chuckle. “All good things, I swear! Maybe some a little too good. Was starting to think you might not be real.”

“Tom!” You cried, shoving his shoulder playfully. The man grabbed the table to avoid falling from his seat, tossing his head back in a laugh. “Shut up!”

“What?” He jabbed his elbow at your ribs, which you tried to dodge to your best ability. “Scared I’m gonna spill all your secrets?” Tom flashed Jack a quick wink. He clearly expected the boy to understand its meaning. Jack did not understand whatsoever.  “Don’t worry, I won’t let Jacky boy in on your little secret. But! I do expect you to let him know soon. If I see you around here again and you haven’t told him yet, you’re in for it. Alright?” He fixed you with a faux glare, which you waved off with a roll of your eyes.

“Whatever you say, man.” Your eyes flickered over Tom’s shoulder before focusing on the man again. “Looks like your piece of trash ex is gone! I’m thinking we really sold this whole thing, yeah?”

“Sold what whole thing?” Jack piped in, taking a step closer to your side. If he had thought that flirting would be this confusing, he would have definitely asked for more help before diving in headfirst. 

You turned back to Jack with a grin. “This guy over here,” you nodded your head back to Tom, “needed some help selling the fact that he’s moved on from his garbage, cheating ex girlfriend. She’s been stalking around this place all night, and it was… pretty creepy, to be honest. He came up and asked if I could help him out, so I agreed. With the way she stormed out, I think we did it.”

“Hell yeah!” Tom cheered, pumping a fist in the air in triumph. “Seriously, thank you so much for all your help. Now, I’ll be off and leave you both to your… night. Wish me luck out there,” he bid you adieu, raising his glass in thanks and waltzing back over to the bar. Thus you and Jack were left alone in the middle of the old run down joint. 

You grabbed the chair Tom vacated moments prior and pulled it out a bit more, tapping the seat in a welcoming manner. “Come take a seat, Jack! Haven’t gotten to talk to you all night.”

The nephilim nodded robotically, his feet carrying his body over to the seat with little thought for any of the actions. His hands finally reappeared from his jacket pockets and settled on top of the table. A moment’s silence passed over you before he felt comfortable in speaking up. “He seemed nice,” he commented in what he hoped sounded like a passive tone. Out of the corner of his eye he registered your nod of agreement.

“Yeah, he’s pretty nice. Tom’s a sweet guy, shame his ex cheated on him like that. I’m glad I was able to help out a little bit, you know?” You turned to look at Jack with a shrug, and he met your eyes only after a moment. His hesitance was clear as day in the way that he shuffled from side to side in his seat. Well trimmed fingernails scratched lightly at the unusually sticky table top in an effort to give his mind something to do other than going into a complete panic.

“So, he’s…” Jack paused for a moment and furrowed his brows in thought. “Do you…” Once again the words felt lost on his tongue. He let out a huff of annoyance at his own antics. This whole thing wasn’t working, he couldn’t be subtle. He didn’t like being subtle. He didn’t see the point in being subtle. “Do you want to kiss him?” He finally forced out, locking eyes with you. Gunmetal blue irises flickered across your face in search of an answer before you could even open your mouth.

Your lips pursed together in an attempt to hold back the amused laughter that threatened to escape you. This was much more like the man you knew and adored. Your face split in a grin and you reassured him with a shake of your head. “No, Jack. No, I don’t want to kiss him.” You paused momentarily to shuffle your chair  bit closer to the nephilim. “Why do you ask?”

Jack’s gaze dropped to his hands once again.

You squinted your eyes at the boy in wonder. You realized the set of his jaw and the twitch of his eye. You recognized the way his lips tightened and his arms drew back closer to his body in a closed off manner. “Jack, are you jealous?”

There it was again, that same word from earlier, with a similar teasing tone of voice. Jack fought back a wince at the sound of it falling from your lips. He decided that an outright answer to your query was unnecessary, given that you were the third person in the past few minutes to pose the same idea to him. Instead he opted to jump right to the defensive. “Sam and Dean said it’s normal.”

It didn’t take a rocket scientist to realize that Jack was feeling self conscious. This is why, upon realizing how much he was drawing away from the conversation, you immediately pulled back on any and all teasing for the time being. This wasn’t the time to poke fun. As you spoke up once more, your tone had shifted greatly; instead of your previous prodding banter, your voice held a softer, more calming flow. “It’s completely normal, they’re right. There’s nothing to be ashamed of, you know. I mean…” you paused to curl your bottom lip between your teeth. Nervous energy wracked your stomach, but you weren’t going to turn back now. You had held back for too long, and you refused to let this opportunity to tell him how you feel fall by the wayside. “I’m gonna be entirely honest here, Jack. I get pretty jealous about you a lot.”

At this, the boy’s eyes turned to saucers. His body language opened back up in a split second as he turned his body back towards you. “Really?” He squeaked out, voice cracking slightly in his shock. “But what do you have to be jealous about?”

You quirked an eyebrow at the man. “Are you serious, Jack? Have you seen yourself?” He looked down at his arms and legs for a moment, tugging at the collar of his jacket for good measure. That quick action alone relit the adoring gaze on your face. Everything he did was just so… Jack. As he looked back up to you, you met his eyes, and his expression slowly morphed into his own little smile that sent your heart pounding. “Everywhere we go, there are people staring at you and flirting with you at every turn. I guess I’m just… I don’t know, I know this sounds crazy but… I’m scared to lose you. But the funniest part is, I don’t even have you.”

His head dropped into a tilt of confusion. “Of course you have me. I’m right here. I would never leave you.”

You let out a soft chuckle and shook your head. “No, I know. I know you’re a part of the team and everything, but just… the idea of someone else coming along and sweeping you off your feet, and me losing any chance I might have had of being with you, that’s terrifying,” you admitted through the rising lump in your throat. Something seemed to click in Jack’s mind at this, and he shifted his chair closer to you.

Much to your surprise, the nephilim reached out and grabbed your hands from their place in your lap. His eyes flickered over your frame as if analyzing every little aspect of your soul. “Am I the one that you want to kiss?” He queried, his words lilting upwards in a hopeful tone.

Your face went aflame at the off-the-bat question. The laughter that left your lips was entirely involuntary and you weren’t entirely sure if it was a result of your fear or of actual amusement. You gave a tentative nod of your head. “Yeah,” you muttered just loud enough for Jack to hear over the steady hum of other patrons. “Yes, you’re the one I want to kiss, Jack.”

That seemed to be all the boy needed to hear, as only a split second later he tugged you towards him and pressed his lips to your own. His lips held the residual lingering taste of whiskey, along with the underlying peppermint flavor of his favorite toothpaste. It was clear that Jack had absolutely no idea what he was doing, but in all honesty, that didn’t mean that he was bad. In fact, it was probably the best kiss you had ever had. You leaned into him as your lips moved together until your lungs screamed for air and you were forced to pull away from him. Even still, you simply pressed your forehead against his so you didn’t have to move any further.

Your breath swirled with his own as you both took a moment to get your breathing under control. Jack was the first one to speak. “Wow,” he muttered simply. Laughter bubbled up in your chest, and the sound seemed to be contagious as Jack began to laugh along with you.

“I gotta say, I agree with you, there,” you quipped with a grin. A moment passed between the pair of you in complete silence, each of you just basking in the happiness of knowing that your feelings were mutual. Sure, the hunting life isn’t the happiest life one can live, but maybe you could make it that little bit more livable. Together.

Sam and Dean watched on with proud smiles on their faces. Dean held up his glass to toast with his younger brother, who chuckled and clicked his own drink against the rim of the older man’s. One more parenting lesson, done and done. Thank every greater force in the universe that Castiel hadn’t been the one to go through this talk with the boy. 

O, beware, my lord, of jealousy;

It is the green-eyed monster which doth mock the meat it feeds on.

[harryimaginestuff]

Ruin the Friendship

I’m back woo! I hope you guys enjoy this one.

EDIT: highly recommend listening to ‘I Can’t Make You Love Me’ by Bonnie Raitt, literally there couldn't be a more perfect song than this!

Word count: 3.2k

Genre: Angst

The one where you feel something but he doesn't.

Present

    “Fuck,” You gasp stilling beneath Harry’s sweaty body as the both of you finally reach your high, coming undone as your mid-day sex comes to an end.

    “Christ, I’m exhausted now.” Harry sighed as he climbed off of your body, reaching over to the side of the bed where his bottle of water resided, “Water?”

    You shake your head, too caught up in your own thoughts to bother to reply properly. You recalled back to a time when his room used to provide comfort, the four cream coloured walls decorated with whatever piece of art Harry had recently made would make you feel warm and cared for – maybe even loved. You recalled back to a time when the arms wrapped around your waist would make your heart beat faster for every second they were hugging your bare body.

    But now you felt out of place and used, and the arms wrapped around you did nothing to soothe the discomfort.

    You had been in this circumstance with Harry for almost two years after you had been dragged to your best friend’s family event, something you weren’t completely willing to attend, however did so anyways as a favour for your friend.

Before

    You were standing in the corner of the room, one hand clutching a glass of wine and the other tightly wrapped around the arm of your friend, ensuring that he would be unable to leave your side. Situations such as these were not really your forte seeing as conversing with people who you neither know nor relate to was not one of your favourite activities.

    You had been sweeping your gaze across the kitchen and into the connected dining room until one particular man had caught your attention.

    “Is that Harry Styles?” you whispered into your friend’s ear, slightly nodding towards the man standing in the opposite corner by the bar who was animatedly conversing with a group of other guests.

    “Yeah it is, he’s a close family friend haven’t seen him in years though,’ he paused, taking a break to sip his drink, “Probably because of all that music business.”

    “Cool,” you mumbled somewhat in a state of being starstruck.

    “Want me to introduce you?” he asked, causing your eyes to widen in alarm.

    “What? No!” you protested, however was too late as your friend had already vigorously waved at the man and shouting his name in order to grab his attention. “Shit.” You mumbled as you watched him approach his arms outstretched, ready to embrace his friend.

“Sam, it’s been a while mate!”

“Really has been a minute.”

    You watched the two of them converse each of them completely engrossed in conversation so much so your friend Sam almost completely forgot you were standing there.

    You coughed lightly making yourself known as you smiled lightly at the two boys.

“Oh, this is my best friend Y/N.”

“Pleasure to meet you Y/N, m’Harry.”

     That night you and Harry had completely hit it off, the both of you bantering off the other; an instant connection it seemed like. That night the both of you bid goodbye, with you not expecting anything more to come from this budding friendship, leaving with nothing but a tight hug and a phone number.

    You never would have believed that you’d have bumped into him randomly one night a week after you first met and you never would have believed that that night, your evening would have continued all the way into his bedroom.

    You breathed deeply, your heart hammering against your ribs as you took in the sight of Harry next to you, the rise and fall of his chest in time with yours.

    “Really enjoy your company y’know.” You heard him mumble as he finally caught his breath.

    “Me too.” You smiled draping your arm across his chest.

    “Would really like to see you again too.”

    “I would as well, but full disclosure, I’m not looking for anything serious right now I just got out a serious relationship so-”

    ‘Hey, no worries,” he said kissing the top of your head, “neither am I. M’focusing on my music so don’t have a lot of time for a girlfriend but I enjoy your company regardless.”

    “So, we’re at an agreement then?” You asked turning your head so you were able to look him in the eyes. “Just sex?”

    Harry nodded, his arm lifting up to gently tuck a piece of hair back behind your ear. “Just sex. I hate so say this right now, but the legal side of my management will literally kill me if I don’t establish this now but-”

    “I need to sign an NDA; don’t worry I know. Trust me, I’ve been Sam’s best friend since childhood, so I know all about the legal side of the entertainment business.”

    “Great, it’s settled then we’re like acquaintances with benefits.” You smiled as you watched Harry chuckle at his little joke, completely in awe of the man in front of you.

    You never expected to fall in love with him 2 years down the line.

//

Present

    You can’t recall the exact moment as to when you fell in love with the man beside you. You can’t remember if it was all the little things that equates to the huge amount of adoration and love that you held in your heart or whether it was quickly and all at once.

    All you knew in this moment was that you were completely and irrevocably in love with him.

    You stomach clenched with nerves as you stared at his relaxed face, a complete contradicting feeling to the inner turmoil that was running around in your head.

    You were torn on how to approach the current situation in front of you. On one hand you were desperate to reveal the way you had been feeling, wanting to finally end the racing thoughts within your mind. But there was a deep fear rooted in the pit of your stomach that revealing this possible crippling truth would be the cause of the downfall of the security that currently enveloped this friendship, that possibly your revelation could ruin everything.

    However, the other side of your mind said otherwise constantly reminding you that there was a chance that he would feel the same way, that possibly he could love you back and that the security of this friendship could transition to something much more.

    It was now or never really because when would you really have the guts to confess your love to him again. And now seemed like a better time than any seeing as the warmth you felt radiating from his body and soul made you feel so special despite the cruel and unforgiving wind that was blowing a mere six feet away.

It really was now or never.

“I love you.”

    You feel Harry’s body still besides you as he processed the words that had just come out of your mouth.

“Oh.” He mumbled, “okay.”

    You frowned sitting up slightly to get a better look at his face, his comment may have been minimal, but his face spoke a thousand words. With his brows pulled together, his eyes wide in shock and mouth slightly ajar, he was almost scared looking.

    “That’s all you have to say?” You ask in shock because surely he has something else to say, something better.

    “I mean yeah, I love you too.” As soon as the words come out of his mouth you couldn’t even begin to describe the way your heart felt in that moment, your stomach erupting into a thousand butterflies. How could one person make you feel so much?

    However, the feelings left as quick as they came as Harry’s next words met your ears, “You’re one of my best friends, I thought you would have known this already.”

    Despite the fact that you believed you could actually feel a crack settling right into the middle of your heart, you decided to put your real feelings to the side, this time there was no way that you would tell him, that you would correct him on where your love from him really stemmed from because it was far from the platonic kind of love that he had originally believed it to be.

    Instead you let out an awkward breathy laugh looking away from his intense stare, “Of course I knew that, just wanted to say it.”

    You felt his arms envelop you bringing you back down towards his side mumbling softly into your hair.

    How could you ever be the same around him when you were hiding the way you truly felt?

//

     The both of you had finally decided to leave his room, after two hours of being in each other’s arms the two of you had grown hungry.

    You watched the way he gracefully moved around the kitchen humming Kiwisoftly to himself.

    How could he be so content when you were sitting right behind him suffering?

    Surely he had some understanding of what you actually meant, surely he had an inkling that when he proposed the relationship you had now that after two years either of you could fall in love with the other, surely he wasn’t that thick?

    Or maybe he was? Maybe he really didn’t understand where you were coming from. Maybe if you brought it up just one more time he would catch on and this time he would know for sure.

    “I meant what I said earlier you know.” You say breaking the silence.

    “Okay? Me too.” Seriously? You question to yourself beginning to grow frustrated with his stupidity.

    “Quit playing dumb H, you and I both know that’s not what I meant.”

    Silence consumes the room as he’s left dumbfounded, unsure of what to say, instead of focusing on the man in front of you, you listen to the rain pounding the floor outside, a sound that you had previously found soothing a sound you used to relish in whenever you were pressed against every curve and crease of Harry’s body, the sound lulling the both of you to sleep.

    But right now there was a storm brewing, and there really is nothing like a bit of pathetic fallacy.

    “You love me.” He started slowly turning around to face you, “Since when?”

    “Since when?” You almost scream, the anger and sadness mixing building up, right now you were a bottle just about ready to explode. “Since I fell in love with you three months ago.”

“Are you sure?”

    “What the fuck?” You mumble to yourself rolling your eyes, “Of course I’m sure! What kind of idiotic question is that? For someone who’s able to write and sell words that you’ve written, you surprisingly don’t have a way with them.”

    “I’m sorry okay? I just don’t really know what to say.”

“You could say it back?”

    “But-I- “he stutters walking towards you with his arms outstretched.

    “But you can’t.” You whisper looking up into his eyes as he towers over your body, his large hands gripping onto your wrists. Rather than answering you he falls silent, refusing to confirm your suspicions. “Can you?” You ask, your voice once again rising as your frustration shines through.

    “Fucking answer me Harry!” You shout causing him to flinch away from you.

“Please Y/N-”

    “No Harry!” You yell pushing yourself off the chair and distancing yourself from him. “Please for my sake, just tell me now if there is a chance, any chance, that you do or could feel the same way.”

    He stands there frozen as you deliver your final blow, “Please just tell me,” you whisper exhausted from the way your confession had gone.

    “Y/N… I’m sorry…” he trails off, looking anywhere but at you.

    “You can’t even look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t love me back.” You mumble at him, shaking your head in disappointment, “you’re a coward Harry because not for one second do I believe that you’ve never felt anything more for me in the two years that we’ve been doing this.”

    “Don’t call me out of my name because I don’t feel the same way about you.” He huffed, hands clenching slightly as the anger began to rise. “Don’t be so childish.”

    “Childish? You are a fucking coward Harry and that’s the truth, because you sit on your throne turning your head at anyone who could ever love you. You write songs about falling in love and experiencing heartbreak, but not once have you actually andtruly felt it. You stand in front of everyone preaching about opening up and letting people in, but you’re a hypocrite and a coward because you refuse to do it yourself. You’re not who everyone thinks you are.”

    “So what? You’re just going to walk away from me and something that has worked for years for the both of us?”

    “It’s no longer working for me though is it Harry!” Your voice is strained as you can feel the tears making its way out, “We agreed that when we started whatever this was that either could pull out.”

    “But we never expected for this to continue for years Y/N! I thought that if one of us were to back out it would be because we found someone.”

    You feel as if your heart had split open at his words because you thought you had found someone, and that was him, but it was clear now that that could never happen. “I did Harry, I did find someone, I found you. I fell in love with you. But I wasn’t that person for you. So I can’t continue this.”

“Please don’t Y/N.”

    “I’ll get Sam to pick up my stuff from you some other time.” You say completely defeated.

    “You can’t leave now okay? At least not tonight, not when there’s a storm on the way. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to you because I do love you just not-”

    “-just not in the way that I want you to.” You finish for him, smiling at the man who had your heart and broke it. “I’ll stay tonight but down here on my own, and I don’t want the bed so don’t even try to insist.”

“Okay that’s fine whatever you want.”

    “Goodnight Harry.” You sigh turning your back to him and walking to the sofa, dinner no longer appetising to either of you after the heavy conversation you just had. Silence fills the room and you can feel his eyes on your back.

    “Will you be here when I wake up?” He asks, breaking the silence.

    But rather than reply you let him leave with just the sound of rain outside the window pushing him up the stairs.

    That night you didn’t have a wink of sleep, your mind still running from the conversation you had with him and as the sun rose and birds sang you were still slightly in denial.

    You’re stood in front of the fridge when you hear Harry’s footsteps behind you, but it wasn’t his presence that caused your insides to run cold, and your body to stiffen in shock, it was his arms that did that, and the way they wrapped around your waist and pulled your body to his in a hug.

    “You’re here.” He hummed in your ear, sighing softly.

    “What are you doing Harry?” You asked shrugging his body away from yours.

    “M’hugging you, what does it look like?” He asks eye brows furrowed in confusion.

    “Okay I have no idea how or what got lost in translation last night but obviously something did, when I said that I was leaving I meant that I was leaving permanently.”

    “What?” He’s shocked, still unable to comprehend the situation before him. “I thought that we’d still be friends and just end the sex.”

    “I can’t heal and get over you when you’re right beside me every step of the way. And please don’t ask me of that because that’s one thing I definitely can’t do.” You say before softening your voice. “I only stayed this morning because I thought that after two years I at least owe you a proper goodbye.”

    “What the hell Y/N?” He asks, tears brimming his eyes, as his relationship with you begins to fall apart right before his eyes. “You don’t even what to be my friend? I can’t cut you off like that.”

    “You’re going to have to H, I need this.” This time round it was him questioning how you could be so calm when he was suffering from the heartbreak of losing a friend.

    “I could learn to love you the way you want me to.” He says, his tone panicked as he struggles to find a reason for you to stay, the tears running down his cheeks a testament to his feeling. “I swear I could love you so much.”

    “Maybe you could Harry, but you don’t. And I need you to really love me, not some kind of false love as some pretence for me to stay.”

    You’re both crying, his more hysterical fuelled by his desperation, and yours much calmer having finally come to terms with the fact that the man you love was so ready to do so much for you, except the thing you actually wanted.

    “What about the contract? What about the NDA? If we’re not friends how will I know you won’t tell the first journalist you meet? If you break it, we have no choice but to come for you.”

    His empty threat does nothing to change your decision except cause a deeper cut in your chest. “Don’t be stupid, I could give zero fucks about the NDA and you should know that I have too much respect for you to ever tattle to anyone, journalist or not. And besides, our friendship should mean more than a piece of paper.”

    You finally turn away from him, walking out of the kitchen and living room and through the hallway towards the front door with Harry hot on your heels.

    “You said you loved me!” He shouts after you, his voice strained with despair.” Well if youtruly loved me you wouldn’t be able to walk away; you would stay with me because you love me.”

    “I do love you Harry so much, but don’t you dare ever use my feelings as a way to manipulate me into doing what you want me to do.” You say turning to look at him for one last time, “I’m leaving Harry and I’m sorry it had to end this way.”

    “If you leave now, that’s it. Our friendship is done, tomorrow, next week, however long down the line, it’s done. It’s not my fault that you decided to fall in love with me, you knew exactly what you were getting into and I told you straight up that my career can’t afford any significant distractions.”

    “I’m sorry I’m not ‘significant’ enough to be a distraction as one of your best friends, and you can threaten me with legalities or ending our friendship but you feel what you feel and whatever you feel isn’t what I need you to feel, so I need time to get over what I have been feeling and I need to do that without you.” You say gripping the door handle, ready to leave.

    “But right now, I need to put myself first.” You mumble to the floor, swinging the door wide and walking away from the only man who had your heart and single handedly broke it.

[tibbythetiger]

Diner Food and Howard Hall

Peter still looked pretty under the cheap overhead lighting the diner offered, he looked more human here than he had under the moonlight; Harley however was still slightly intimidated by the boy who was currently buttering his toast across from him. Peter looked up his warm brown eyes smiling,

“You gonna eat or just stare at me?” he asked Harley flushed and looked down at his own plate, honestly he didn’t even remember ordering the pancakes that were placed before him, he must have been too distracted by the boy in front of him to focus on the menu, or ordering apparently. Harley glanced up to see Peter was already looking at him, a small bemused smile tugging at his kiss swollen pink lips.

It had taken them a while to reach the diner, they’d gotten distracted, stumbling and stopping under street lights to kiss. Peter was more adventurous than Harley, and just the idea of what Peter must be like behind closed doors made Harley cough and look away briefly.

“Did you have friends at the party?” Peter asked as he shoved a forkful of hashbrowns into his mouth, Harley shrugs as he pours syrup on his stack of pancakes, he’s trying to play it cool, though he’s not sure. He knows he’s a goner already, beside if the past twenty minutes were anything to go by, Peter at the very least was attracted to Harley enough to know his name and recognize him outside of class. There was also the kissing, the kissing was a big clue in that Peter, might, just possibly be into Harley as well.

“Not really, I’m honestly not even sure how I got there,” Peter laughs, his crooked little nose scrunching up, Harley’s heart melts and he wants to curse whatever God there is because it’s really not fair that Peter looks this good at this late in the night, or early in the morning? Harley has honestly lost all sense of time at this point, it’s probably close to bar close, if not after if the other people stumbling into the diner are anything to go off of.

“I get that,” Peter says “Sometimes you’re dragged to the party, and sometimes you just sort of find yourself at a party. Did you know anyone there? I don’t really see you at parties very often,” Peter said as he looked back down at his plate, Harley’s head shot up. He was looking for him at parties? Or at least noticed he wasn’t at them? He also wasn’t wrong, parties were nice sometimes, but going to too many made Harley’s skin crawl. He could only deal with large groups of people so often and parties were often too tightly packed for him to feel too comfortable.

“Uh, no I don’t think so. My uh, roommate needed my room so I was just walking around campus.” Harley wants to kick himself as soon as he says it, he knows it sounds sad and kinda pathetic; but Peter laughs and the sound is so sweet that Harley only smiles a little embarrassed at the curly-haired boy.

“I don’t usually have that problem, my roommate’s girlfriend goes to a different school so they usually just meet up there.” Harley nods unsure of how exactly to keep the conversation going, “You’re lucky you didn’t walk down a little farther, I hear the frat was throwing a rager,” Peter rolls his eyes at the words, and even Harley wrinkles his nose in distaste.

“Frat parties are either a night you will never remember or a night you will never forget.” Harley says as he takes a bite of his food. Peter nods,

“Yeah, they’re always an experience. My friend Mj hates them, thinks frats in general are just a show of the hetenormative constraints of society or whatever,” he waves his hand, but there’s a small smile on his face as he speaks of his friend.

“Back in my hometown our only options were frat -like parties,” Harley offers,

“Where are you originally from?” Peter asks, as he twirls the straw in his chocolate milk. (He ordered chocolate milk, how adorable is that?)

“Rose Hill, Tennessee,” Harley replies, Peter’s eyes twinkle.

���Country boy, I love you,” he leans forward before he sticks out his tongue “Blah,” Harley tries to keep a straight face, but he’s definitely still buzzed from whatever he’d had to drink at the party and being around Peter is an intoxicant in it’s own right.

“Oh my god, here I was; thinking you were this cool, cute guy when you’re obviously a huge dork.” Peter’s mouth quirks into a smirk

“Cool and cute huh?” he asks, and Harley flushes looking down at his plate,

“Who quotes vines on a first date?” he asks, as he looks back up at Peter, Peter whose smudged makeup is glistening under the overhead lighting and has a full grin across his precious little face.

“A first date huh? You’re a smooth one there Keener,” Peter says, his fist coming to rest against his cheek, smushing half of his face up. It’s too much to look at that Harley thinks if this boy literally gets any cuter, and softer, he’s going to have a heart attack and die.

“I-uh. I didn’t, it's only a date if you want it to be a date.” he says finally, as he looks down at his plate again, holding his breath until Peter’s pale hand reaches over and takes his hand in his.

“I’d really like this to be a date,” Harley finds himself grinning back, a little more shyly than Peter, but still grinning. Peter stifles a yawn on the back of his hand, and pulls out his phone

“As fun as this has been though, I do think we should sleep eventually, we do have a paper due on Monday.” Peter says, shaking his phone at Harley, he catches a glimpse of the time and the several notifications on Peter’s phone.

“How the hell is already four am?” Harley asks, as he digs his wallet out of his back pocket, pausing awkwardly for a second until he sees Peter pull out his own wallet. Good, he wasn’t sure if was supposed to be paying for them both and he didn’t want to make it awkward because he didn’t exactly have a lot of cash on him at the moment. They left their money on the table and got out of their seats, there was a hint of sunlight beginning to peak over the tips of the trees.

Peter clasped his hand

“Do you wanna walk back to campus together?” he asked, Harley thought it was kinda silly question, why wouldn’t they walk back together, they’d walked here together, but he nodded.

“Yeah, hopefully my roommate’s kicked whoever out of his bed by now.”

“What are you going to do if he hasn’t?” Peter asks, as the slowly amble back the way they had come earlier, it felt different holding Peter’s hand in the not-quite sunlight versus the moonlight. Peter looked softer now, and Harley was sure it was because the buzz of the night was wearing off and he was tired. If he had a sleep schedule even slightly like Harley’s he probably didn’t sleep much on the regular.

“Probably just nap in the hallway, or the library.” he says, it was what he usually did. Usually he’d spend the whole night in the library, then go to a diner and work on homework until noon, when his roommate was sure to be up and awake. Tonight though, it had been so sudden that Harley was lucky that he had even grabbed his phone and wallet, let alone think to grab textbooks and head to the library; it was mostly why he’d been walking aimlessly on campus on a Friday night.

“That’s dumb, my roommate Ned is gone for the weekend, you can just sleep in my dorm.” Peter says, as he swings their arms, Harley can feel his heart quicken in his chest. But he merely nods

“You don’t have-”

“No c’mon. Sleeping in the hallway is kinda sad honestly. You can sleep in my dorm, it’s not a big deal.” Harley’s sure that it probably isn’t a huge deal, but he’s dumb and he wants to overthink that maybe Peter just doesn’t want to let the night end just yet. Or maybe he’s just a really nice guy who doesn’t want to have him sleep in the hallway of his dorm floor, which he knows is kinda sad.

“What hall are you in?” Harley asks, as they walk past one of the more rundown dorm buildings, Peter flushes then and looks away. It’s the first time the entire time they’ve been together that Peter has looked embarrassed,

“I live in Howard Hall,” Harley tries not to make it a huge deal, but everyone at their school knows that Howard Hall is the nicest dorm building on campus and probably in the state if they’re honest. Given it was named after the Howard Stark, it wasn’t that surprising, it was also almost impossible to get into the hall. They usually on reserved it for students who were legacy or really well off; it definitely wasn’t where Harley would have put Peter.

“Oh, that’s neat.” Harley says, and he feels so dumb he wants to kick himself, he must sound like such an ass.

“It’s not as nice as everyone makes it out to be, and honestly I’m only there because my Dad insisted.” Harley furrows his brow,

“Your dad?” he asks, he’s sure that if Peter tells him his Dad’s name he won’t recognize it, because he doesn’t know anyone on this side of the country, but still, it can’t hurt to ask.

“Uh yeah, uh Tony Stark,” Peter mumbles, Harley nods meanwhile he’s really glad that Peter’s not walking him to his dorm because that would be too embarrassing to face. Tony Stark’s son in Pound Hall? The idea alone is a scandal,

“Peter Stark,” Harley says aloud finding the words sit a little odd on his tongue, Peter makes a face.

“I still go by my other last name, Parker,” that name does ring a slight bell in Harley’s head but he doesn’t bring it up.

“Parker sounds better than my last name,” he offers, and Peter looks up at him grateful.

“Oh yeah, what’s so bad about Keener?” he supposes that if Peter has been looking for him at parties and knows his first name, it’s not surprising that he knows his last name too; it still makes his little heart skip in delight though.

“It’s just a bit of a joke you know?” he rolls his eyes, as Peter leads them in the opposite direction Harley would normally take to get to his dorm. “Are you keener? You keen?” he asks, Peter rolls his eyes.

“Oh you poor thing,” Peter says gripping onto Harley’s upper arm, Harley’s grateful he’s in for mechanics, because he knows there’s a bit of definition to his arms. He hopes that Peter doesn’t let go of his arm, because he really likes Peter touching him. He really likes Peter, which is dumb because they’ve really only met tonight, and half of that time they were both not sober. “I used to have this guy who would call me Penis Parker,” HArley barked out a laugh, he hadn’t meant to and he feels a little guilty.

“I’m sorry, that’s”

“That’s just high school,” Peter says, as they take another bend, there’s no one out which given the time Harley supposes isn’t that weird. It just seems quieter on upper campus than lower campus, Harley is sure there’s someone passed out in the grass outside his dorm hall, there’s usually at least one; and the group of stoners who like to linger into the early morning.

Howard Hall doesn’t look that different from the rest of the dorm buildings, or any of the other buildings on campus honestly, but the second they enter the dorm hall, Harley can see the difference. The carpet in the hallway is white and plush, fluffier than the carpet in his hallway could have ever been, even when it was put in like eighty years ago. Peter leads him up a flight of stairs, the halls are kinda bare, plain white walls and wood doors. Peter stops in front of one, (2F, Harley tries to remember.) and lets go of Harley’s hand to pull out his keys; after what feels like an eternity, Peter gets the door open peeking his head around.

“It’s a little messy,” Peter says, his face slightly flushed again, Harley wants to lean forward and kiss him but feels awkward to do it and only smiles.

“Honestly who has a clean dorm?” he asks, and Peter lets out a little breath that sort of sounds like a laugh, he turns on the light and grabs Harley’s hand, pulling him in behind him. It’s not really messy, there’s a few t shirts and textbooks on the floor. In Harley’s smaller dorm, it would definitely classify more of mess, but there’s enough space in the room that it doesn’t look bad. Peter leaps forward, dropping Harley’s hand and going to scoop up the clothes and dump them in the closet, and then place the books on the desk between the two twin beds. Harley glance around, the room isn’t that much nicer than his, it’s mostly just bigger. There’s the same plush carpet in here as there was in the hall, and from the bit of the wall Harley can see between posters and pictures that the wall is still the plain white. Peter looks a little nervous now, having Harley here, behind closed doors, in his bedroom.

“Uh, I’m gonna go to the bathroom and wash my face.” Peter looks over Harley “Do you want something to sleep in?” he asks, as he eyes Harley’s rumpled jeans, Harley doesn’t want to really sleep in his jeans, but he also doesn’t want to make things awkward- Peter is already moving over to the dresser at the end of the bed that Harley assumes must be his. He glances over at Harley

“These will probably be short on you since you’re taller than me, but uh. You can change into that if you want,” he shoves a pair of faded grey sweatpants into his hands. He has other clothes bundled into his arms, and with an awkward but quick smile, he turns and heads out the door. Harley sighes, rubbing his face with his hand as he takes a seat on Peter’s bed; it smelled like him, the whole room did. Which made sense because well, it was Peter’s room; Harley looked up at the Star Wars posters that were plastered along the walls. Harley had similar ones in how own room back one, he looked down at the sweatpants in his hands. He should change before Peter gets back so he doesn’t have to worry about explaining why he was just standing around. He strips down quickly, he doesn;t think he’d really mind if Peter walked in on him changing, but still, it would be better if he didn’t have to deal with the awkwardness of the whole thing.

The sweatpants are too short on him, they reach mid calf on him, and he’s sure they’re supposed to at least reach his ankles, it does make him smile at the idea of them on Peter, they probably pool over his feet just a tad.

Harley moves to fold his jeans up, and as he leans down he catches a whiff of his t shirt, it doesn’t smell bad, but like stale smoke and old alcohol, without thinking he goes to pull it off, he usually sleeps shirtless anyways-when the door opens. Harley freezes, his arms up as he’d been in the middle of pulling the shirt off his head, his chest and stomach exposed. After being frozen for a second too long he pulls his shirt off the rest of the way, he thought it wasn’t possible for Peter look at cuter, but he was definitely wrong.

His face is pink, rubbed clean of all the smudged makeup, and he looks small in the large white t shirt that says I survived my trip to New York and pink hello kitty pants. Harley smiles,

“Nice pants,” Peter flushes rolling his eyes.

“Whatever,” Harley can feel Peter’s eyes on him as he turns around to place his t shirt on top of his jeans, and checks his phone quickly.

“If you want to take my bed, I can sleep in Ned’s.” Peter offers, as he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly, Harley’s heart falters. He won’t lie, he was really hoping that Peter would share a bed with him. He wanted to wake up wrapped up in the smaller boy, and plus he was sure they wouldn’t go to sleep right away if they were in the same bed and that was totally okay with Harley Anything Peter wanted was okay with Harley.

“Uh, if you want. I mean I can sleep wherever, if you’d rather sleep in your own bed.” Peter bites his lip,

“We could share, if you wanted.” his brown eyes look so hopeful Harley has to resist the urge to jump him then and there. Of course that’s what he wanted, how could it not be so obvious?

“That’s fine with me, unless you’re a blanket hog,” Harley says, Peter rolls his eyes.

“Sometimes you just need a lot of blankets,” he says, as he pulls back the covers on his bed. Harley surprising himself, climbs in first, Peter reaches for the light switch before sliding in next to him, his shoulder pressing into Harley’s. Harley rolls onto his side, facing Peter who is laying on his back.

“I don’t usually bring people home on the first date,” Peter whispers, Harley wants so badly to kiss him, he’s not sure what’s holding him back.

“I don’t usually go home with people on the first date either,” Harley whispers back, and Peter laughs, he shifts, rolling so he’s on his side as well, their noses a finger’s breadth apart.

“I don’t think this has been a very normal first date,” Peter says, Harley knows he could do it. He’s positive that if he leaned in just the slightest bit, Peter wouldn’t object. He doesn’t though, he does shift slightly, bumping his nose into Peter’s, Peter must take it as a sign to lean in though, because he does. It’s sloppier kissing laying like this, because they’re both tired, it still sets Harley’s body on fire with excitement. When they pull apart he has a hard time opening his eyes again, the night seeming to finally catch up with him. Peter presses his lips lightly to the tip of his nose.

“I think this is the best first date,” Harley whispers, and he can feel Peter smiling into his shoulder, Harley smiles, insanely happy with the way this story is playing out.

Week 2! This is a continuation of last weekend's piece, and I'm excited to see what week three will bring!

@parknerprompts @spidey-lad

[kisant]

agoddamn ha respondido a tu publicación “@ezralahm ha respondido a tu publicación “The Miklan mission is...”

Wait, when is it said that Ionius was trying to limit the power of Crest nobles? I was under the impression that all we heard was that Ionius was trying to obtain more power. Noted anti-Crest Hanneman believes that von Vestra was acting altruistically 

Sorry but I went into a coughing fit at "I guess I assumed it was progressive because that makes Edelgard right" and "I've only finished Flower"

That came out a lot more aggressive than I meant, I apologize. I'm not feeling well and let myself get too flippant. I like a lot of your original analysis but I think your foundation is critically flawed by not having the full context of Faerghus's situation and making assumptions in Edelgard's favor”

Yeah, that did come off as a little bit aggressive my dude. Like, oh, excuse me for not having yet finished all the routes in a rather lengthy game that only came out in late July, I happen to have a life outside talking about videogames. 

What I’m essentially doing is liveblogging my experience with the game, first with Crimson Flower, which was my first route, and now with Azure Moon, my second, so it’s only natural for me to compare Edelgard and Dimitri because of their radically opposed viewpoints and roles in the game, not because I hate either of the two. In fact, I think I’ve been rather fair to what I’ve seen of Dimitri just yet (I’m up to the “investigate Flayn’s disappearance” mission in AM), because I acknowledged his good points several times already in these meta posts. I do agree with you on that I don’t have all the information yet, and that my analysis may be flawed because of that, but that’s because I’m liveblogging, not analyzing the game from the perspective of someone who has finished all the routes. 

And I defend Edelgard because I actually like Edelgard, much like Dimitri stans defend Dimitri and have yet to get half the amount of vitriol Edelgard’s get. With him it’s all “poor little boy was sooooo sad and traumatized, let’s handle him with kiddy gloves and ignore his violent streak and unthinking defense of harmful traditions and the status quo, because that bitch Edelgard made him SO MAD and it’s all her fault for starting an unnecessary war when everything was already fine and dandy in the perfect land of Fodlan” 

That’s what annoys me about Dimitri stans, that many of them absolutely refuse to admit Dimitri’s faults while requiring Edelgard’s to pretty much put on a disclaimer before any post that is vaguely positive about her, saying that of course we know she was evil and wrong about everything and that we apologize for preferring her to the oh so perfect and holy knight Dimitri. I’m not saying that you’re one of those Dimitri stans, but it is a common enough attitude in his fandom for me to be annoyed at it.

If Ionius’ reforms were about centralizing state power, that means that he was dimishing the power of the crest-bearing nobility by default. And given what we’ve seen about the state of most of the empire’s noble houses (like with houses Aegir, Varley, Bartels and the house that used Hanneman’s sister as a crest broodmare, for example), I can’t say it was a bad political move born only of the desire for power. I also find it quite interesting that people in this fandom apparently have so much sympathy for the plight of the game’s feudal lords that use magically inherited superpowers and relic weapons to rule over their territories and get pissy about that power being diminished in any way, but okay. 

I got an entirely different reading on the Hanneman and Hubert support conversations, by the way. What I got from that conversation is that Marquis Vestra was a good and loyal man who was forced to choose between the emperor and his son’s safety, and he chose to protect Hubert over his duty to the emperor. This caused Hubert to hate his father and to act as his complete opposite, putting his own loyalty to Edelgard above everything. And given Marquis Vestra’s position as spymaster and retainer to the emperor and the Slitherer’s involvement with the Insurrection, I think they were involved in him being cornered into making such a decision. 

Talking about the experiments, I don’t know where you got that the emperor approved the experiments. In Edelgard’s crowning ceremony, she says that the crest experiments on the royal children were part of the Prime Minister’s plot with the Slitherers, and that not only did they made her father watch as his children were turned into science experiments and tortured into death and insanity, but Edelgard saw the suffering in his eyes and how helpless he was to help them or make their torturers stop. 

EDIT: Wait, I don’t know if it was you making that point or another person. I apologize if it wasn’t you and I confused you answer with someone else’s. YUP, I CONFUSED TWO DIFFERENT RESPONSES TO THE SAME POST, MY BAD. IT WAS @ezralahm WHO SAID THAT THE EMPEROR CONSENTED TO HIS CHILDREN BEING EXPERIMENTED ON BY THE SLITHERERS, NOT YOU.

So yeah, I do believe that there is enough evidence in canon Crimson Flower to believe that Edelgard and her father had similar reformist ideals, and that the difference between them is that Edelgard succeeded where Ionius failed, not because I think having a similar political ideology to her father automatically gives Edelgard the higher moral ground. 

What I do think gives Edelgard a high moral ground are her actions after the war, in which she spent years, if not decades, working on reforming the united Fodlan, reducing the power and importance of crests and the nobility, and giving commoners a chance to excel on their own merits through measures such as universal education, not to mention having gotten rid of the two shadow factions that had been fucking over humanity for at least a thousand years. It’s also implied that Edelgard also fostered good relations with foreign countries by negotiating with Almyra (something she showed she was willing to do in her paralogue) and giving Brigid its independence back. 

And after her job was done, she selected a successor based on their personal merit (instead of making her own crest baby to succeed her) and abdicated the throne. There are still nobles in her ending, just like there are still slitherers, but it’s because completely getting rid of those two factions took the majority of her reign after the war. 

[ellie-scribble]

Ruin Me

A Bucky x Reader fic written for @littledarlinhavefaithinme‘s marvelous writing challenge. I had the prompt:

“Why aren’t you dating him/her?”

“Because I’d destroy him/her.”

“He’d/She’d be into that.”

Summary: You want Bucky Barnes to ruin you, and he wants to ruin you. You let your best friend Nat know this, and she tries her hardest to get you together. Some mutual pining and minor angst?

Warnings: Smut. That’s what this fic is. Language, I guess? Is thigh-riding a warning? Yeah, that’s it.

Word Count: 3441. oops. i went a little overboard

A/N: this is my first attempt at writing fanfiction, so I hope it’s alright. feedback would be great. if you want a playlist to listen to, I listened to this while writing it. the gif isn’t mine.

“Okay, okay. Barnes, Rogers, Wilson.”

You and your favorite Avenger, Nat, were currently playing fuck, marry, kill at 3 a.m. in her room. You had recently joined the Avengers and had become fast friends with this feisty redhead. You’d probably be into her- if it weren’t for your current obsession with another Avenger.

“Fuck Barnes, marry Rogers, and kill Wilson,” you respond, almost too quickly.

“Barnes, eh?”

Your cheeks redden slightly, but you don’t back down, “Have you seen those thighs? He could strangle me with them and I’d thank him.��

“Are you ever gonna do anything about that? It’s pretty clear that he’s into you too-”

“First of all, not true. Second of all, I don’t have the balls to do anything about it,” you reply. You and Bucky have had this thing going on. You would flirt back and forth all the time, you would sit by each other on movie nights, and you worked flawlessly together on missions. But whenever things got too serious, he would back off.

“This is coming from the person who told the leader at HYDRA to, and I quote, ‘suck my dick and choke on it, I’m a fucking avenger.’” Nat did have a point. During missions, you tended to have quite the filthy mouth. Steve may not have like Tony’s language, but boy did he hate yours.

“That’s different. I want him to literally ruin me, but if he doesn’t want to-”

“He does,” Nat interjected, “And I’m going to prove it to you.”

“Nat-,” you warned.

“Y/N, if you won’t do anything about your obsession with Bucky Barnes, I will. I know all about your freaky sex kinks-”

“They’re not that weird,” You try to interrupt.

“-And I will willingly play your wingwoman for Barnes,” she finished with a flourish. You sit back on the couch, pondering what this means. Will you finally get to fuck the super soldier who’s been haunting your dreams? To be completely honest with yourself, you had been hoping someone would do something to help your relationship with Bucky move along.

Thank god for redhead assassins.

Sam picked the movie of the night. Sam being Sam chose How to Train Your Dragon. When you arrived in the mini-theatre, almost everyone was there already. Sam was standing by the tv, fiddling with the cable box while Tony stood next to him, assumingly making sure he didn’t break anything. Steve and Wanda were setting up the usual snack table, complete with salty popcorn and tons of alcohol. Nat was seated next to Bucky on the loveseat and was talking softly to him. It seemed normal, but then you remembered the conversation you had had yesterday.

Oh shit.

When Nat saw you come in, she stood up and moved to sit next to Steve, opening up the seat next to Bucky. She knew what she was doing.

“Y/N, come sit by me.” Bucky waved you over, and you mentally prepared yourself for another night of teasing, with no real outcome. As soon as Clint arrived, the movie was started and opened up onto a dark island with Hiccup voice-over.

“You’ve seen this before, doll?” Bucky whispers in your ear. You almost shiver, like you usually do when he calls you that.

“Yeah, it came out like, 10 years ago. The third one is coming out soon,” you whisper in return. When you originally met Bucky, you had made it your goal to educate him on the most important things that had happened while he was gone. This meant many late nights spent with just him watching old Disney movies and reruns on the tv. How to Train Your Dragon was on the list of things for him to watch, but you were still working through movie musicals. Bucky’s favorite so far was Newsies, because of obvious reasons. He said that Steve was just like that Spot Conlon guy, except people weren’t afraid of him.

“I see. Was this on our watch list?” Bucky asks, scooting closer to you. Your thighs are touching. Just yesterday you were talking with Nat about how you’d love to ride those thighs into the sunset. Your face turned beet red at the thought and you coughed to cover up any noise you might have made. “You okay, doll?” Bucky asked, concern written all over his face. He placed his hand on your thigh, which only made you blush harder. You silently thanked Tony for the dark room.

“Yup. 100% okay. Couldn’t be okay-er.” That sounded normal. Way to go Y/N. Bucky turned back to watch the movie, but thankfully didn’t lift his hand from your leg.

For the rest of the movie, Bucky occasionally leaned over to whisper comments into your ear, but that was normal. By the end of it, you and Bucky were basically cuddling, which only made you more frustrated. Sexually and emotionally. The credits rolled and the lights were turned back on, which brought groans from everyone.

“Who’s up for some drinks?” Nat asks, her eyes gleaming with mischief.

“I’m gonna head to my room, I’m tired,” you say, knowing Nat has something planned. Clint nods along, and Tony and Wanda make their way out of the room as well.

“Come on, Y/N, it’ll be fun!” Now Nat was desperate. She wanted you to stay, and to be honest? You were terrified of what lengths she would do to get you and Bucky to get together by the end of the night. But, on the other hand, you were also terrified of what she would do if you didn’t get with him. So, you stayed.

“Fine, but only 2 drinks,” conceding to her plans. She gave you a wink and started to speak again.

“Alright, how about we play a little game? Truth or dare, huh?” Uh oh. She’s definitely got plans for you and Bucky.

“I don’t know if it’s changed from my time, but I’m in,” Steve says. He had no idea what was coming. Natasha smirked at his response, and he noticed. “Well you just have to tell the truth or do something, right?”

“Sure, Steve. Sure.” Sam was gonna torture Steve and Bucky. Those super soldiers may have been ready for anything on the battlefield, but drunk truth or dare with Nat? No fucking way.

“Alright, rules are as follows: you say truth, you gotta tell the truth, dare, you have to do it, and if you can’t, you drink. Got it?” We all reply a short ‘got it’ so that Nat is satisfied. “Alright, I’ll go first. Steve! Truth or dare?”

“Truth, I guess. I have nothing to hide.” That was a mistake.

“Okay, goody-two-shoes, who and when was your last good fuck?” Steve spit out the sip he had taken from his drink. He sat with his mouth open for a few seconds, then chugged his beer. It had no effect on him anyway.

“I am most definitely not answering that.” Steve’s face was bright red, which made you wonder what might have happened.

“So now we see where the game is headed, huh?” Bucky seemed unfazed by Nat’s question, and even looked eager for his turn.

“I guess it’s my turn then. Um, Sam. Truth or dare?”

Sam had no hesitation, “Dare.”

“I dare you to,” Steve started. He was spluttering. You could tell he was trying to think of something raunchy, as stated earlier. “Jump in the pool!”

You snorted. You didn’t want to laugh, because Steve looked so proud of himself, but then Natasha started laughing, so you let it loose. Pretty soon, the whole room was in shambles.

“What?” Steve asked. He looked so sad and confused, like a teddy bear.

“Jump in the pool? That’s the best you can do?” Sam laughed.

“I’d like to see you do any better!” Steve challenged.

“Fine. Y/N, if you could have anyone in here go down on you, who would you choose?” You had known Sam was going to ask a sexual question, but this one was a little too specific. You knew your answer right away, of course, but you made it look like you were thinking it through.

“Well, if I had to choose, I’d probably say Bucky,” you slowly get out, “That beard would probably feel amazing down there, and I’ve heard he was quite the ladies man back in the day.”

Bucky’s cheeks flushed, but he answered with a suave, “Well you’re not wrong. All the dames love me.” Bucky looked at Y/N and waggled his eyebrows.

Nat on the other hand just became more pissed, as it was obviously an opportunity for something more to blossom. She wanted things to move quicker. After more embarrassing truths and dares, it was your turn again.

“Alright, Y/N, your turn.”

“Okay, um. Nat, truth or dare?” You asked.

“You already know I’m picking dare,” replied Nat. She never refrained from doing even the most insane things. One time, when you all were very drunk, she had gone onto the roof and performed an old ballet routine. She was sloshed at the time, so it wasn’t very good, but it was fucking hilarious for the rest of the team.

“I dare you to show us some more of your so-called ‘dance moves’,” you say using finger quotes. Nat, never one to back down, does just this. Then, she sits down with an evil glint in her eye. You know what’s coming.

“Bucky, you know the drill.”

Bucky hesitates for a second, but then says a confident, “Dare.”

“I dare you,” Nat’s eye flitted to yours, then looked back to Bucky, “to kiss Y/N.”

Bucky’s eyes widened and you swore his cheeks were flushed. You looked into his blue eyes for a second, then your eyes darted to his lips. You saw him do the same, and in that moment you both saw what could be. You saw his smooth lips and thought of all the nights that could have been dates. You saw his eyes darken, and you thought of all the laughs, sweat, and tears you had shared. You saw his tongue wet his lips, and you thought of the long nights spent holding each other, and wishing for more. You wanted this more than anything, but a small part in the back of your mind kept screaming “This will change everything.” You wanted to lean in, but you were terrified. Not just of how this would shift your relationship with Bucky Barnes, but also of how he was processing this.

Luckily, some god had looked down on you, because he leaned in. As you got closer, your eyes fluttered shut. During the seconds that it took for your lips to touch, you were hyper aware of everything. The sound of the generators running. The lights flashing outside the Tower window. The feel of Bucky’s thigh against yours. And then, the taste of his lips.

Was it cliché to say that it felt like fireworks went off? Probably. But it still felt like that. He tasted of Asgardian liquor and salty popcorn from the movie. You kissed him for what felt like long hours and only mere seconds at the same time. When he finally pulled away, you couldn’t help but be disappointed.

You heard Steve cough, and then remembered that there were other people in the room. Nat had a smirk on her face, and looked very self-satisfied. Sam was in disbelief. Steve, on the other hand, kept coughing and looking away, a blush staining his cheeks.

You looked back to Bucky. He quickly looked away and cleared his throat. Did he not like it? Was it possible he truly only thought of you as a friend? You had always listened to Nat when she said that he liked you to, but even Natasha Romanoff is wrong occasionally. You cleared your throat.

“I’m gonna- I’m gonna go.” You felt sick to your stomach. How had you not noticed? Obviously, Bucky wasn’t ready for a relationship, or at least not one with you. You drank the rest of your drink and left. You heard Nat start to complain, but your disappointment clouded over everything. You could feel tears surfacing, but you refused to let them fall. How could you have thought Bucky Barnes, former Winter Soldier, could have possibly liked you? You felt the walls closing in. The generators you heard before suddenly started to sputter out. The lights were blinding you. You had only had two drinks, but it felt like you had been drinking for days. You stumbled down the hallway towards your room.

Back in the living room, Nat was questioning Bucky.

“You like her, don’t you? You want to be with Y/N?”

“Well, yeah, I guess. But she would never-” he was cut off.

“If that kiss shows anything, she definitely would,” Nat replied. She wanted Bucky to realize that you wanted him just as much as he wanted you.

“Yeah, man. I never thought someone would be into you, but I guess the ladies are into metal arms,” Sam imputed. Nat snorted at this, knowing that for you it was true.

“Why aren’t you dating her?”

“Because I would destroy her,” Bucky said, very seriously. He liked Y/N a lot, but he had a dark past. He was scared that he would hurt her, and told himself to stay away. He had loved her for a long time, but held those affections back in fear that she wouldn’t want them.

“She’d be into that,” Nat snarked. Steve choked on the drink he had just taken.

“I say just go for it, Buck. What’s the worst that could happen?” Steve suggested. Encouraged by Nat and Steve’s words, Bucky stood up and headed in the direction of your room.

As he was leaving, he could hear Nat’s voice yelling, “Don’t forget to use protection!” at him. Of course her mind went there.

The whole walk to your room, Bucky was second-guessing himself. What if you didn’t like him back? He had listened to Steve and Nat, but they could be wrong. He had been so caught up in his thoughts that he didn’t realize he had stopped in front of your door. He raised his arm to knock, and gathered the courage he needed.

You sat on your bed, flipping pages in a book. Your eyes scanned over the words, but you didn’t read a single one. All you could think of was him. A knock sounded at your door.. Maybe it was Nat here to offer her condolences. A small part of you hoped it was Bucky, but after how he reacted, you didn’t want to think about him. You opened the door, and your eyes met bright blue ones.

“Y/N-”

“Save it, Bucky. I know you don’t want anything from me. Just- just forget about it okay?” You were tired, and emotionally drained. You couldn’t deal with another rejection tonight. You started to close the door again, but Bucky’s metal arm stopped it.

“I don’t want to forget about it. The kiss,” Bucky stated. You were shocked. Your mouth was probably hanging open like a dead fish, but you had just heard the best words in your life. “I know you might not feel the same, but, I mean- well,  if you wanted to-” You cut him off by pressing your lips to his. That firework feeling? It was nothing compared to what you felt now.

At first Bucky hesitated, not wanting to wake up if this was all a dream. After a second, he began to move his lips on yours.

You pulled Bucky into your room and shut the door. He grabbed you by the hips and shoved you against the wall. You mind was only slightly aware of the pain in your back, but it was ever so aware of the hard length pressing into your inner thigh. You groaned into Bucky’s mouth and ground yourself on him.

“Y/N,” Bucky groaned. He moved his lips from yours, panting heavily. You both took that second to breathe. You ran your hands down his muscular back, feeling every ridge. He latched his lips onto your neck. You threw your head back and distantly heard it hit the wall. All you could feel was Bucky. You knew this wasn’t going to be soft and gentle. You wanted Bucky to ruin you, and that’s what he was going to do. You felt him tugging on the hem of your shirt with his right hand, his left being used to hold you up. He pulled your shirt up and over your head, and as soon as it was off, he brought his lips back to yours.

Bucky started moving and shifted both of his hands to your thighs. You rested your arms on his shoulders. You pulled your head back from his and looked deep into the blue. He seemed to have a moment of clarity that cut through his lust blown pupils.

“Вы согласны с этим?” Do you want this?

Without thinking, Bucky had reverted to Russian. Luckily, you spoke the language.

“Да, Bucky. Я хочу этот. Я тебя хочу.” Yes, Bucky. I want this. I want you.

“Are you sure?” Ever the gentleman, you thought.

“Yes.” You looked up into his eyes, and for a moment it seemed like he was going to regret kissing you.

Then, his lips slammed into yours. They weren’t there for long, though. He trailed his lips down your chest and reached underneath you to unclasp your bra. As he pulled back, he stared in amazement at you.

“Doll, you are the finest dame I’ve ever seen.” You blush at his words and start to say something, but a gasp leaves your mouth instead when his mouth latches onto your nipple. You arch your back in an attempt to get more friction. Bucky chuckles at this. “Impatient there, are we?”

You whimper as an answer to his question. Thankfully, he puts his mouth back on you. He slowly begins to trail his kisses lower and lower, past your stomach until he reaches the band of your pajama pants. He looks at you, and the blue is almost disappeared from his eyes, darkened with lust. Lust that you created. Until this moment, you hadn’t really convinced yourself that Bucky really wanted you. But the way he looked at you like a dying man and you were his last meal, you knew. He drags your pants down your legs and you are left on the bed in only your panties. Suddenly, it hits you that he still has his goddamn shirt on.

“Take your fucking shirt off,” you say breathily. Bucky lets loose a low chuckle at your forwardness. He can’t say he’s not into it, though. He shucks his shirt off, then returns his face to the apex of your thighs.

You can feel his warm breath on your center. Which is soaked. He licks a stripe up you clothed core and you shudder.

“Bucky…” you trail off, “Don’t tease me.” At these words, he tears off your panties and dives in. He’s licking and sucking and you’re getting closer to an orgasm with each stroke of his tongue. He teases your entrance with his tongue, before entering you with a metal finger. You moan at the difference in temperature. His tongue attacks your clit while his hand finds that one spot that pleases you above all else. The noises you’re making are purely pornographic at this point, and Bucky loves it. You reach down, unable to keep your hands to yourself. Bucky groans when you pull his hair.

He adds another finger, and within a few moments, your orgasm is washing over you.

“Holy fuck,” you whisper. “That- that was amazing.”

“We’re not done yet.” Bucky knows exactly which buttons to press to get you responding.

“I sure hope not,” comes your snarky reply. You love how, even in these intimate moments, you and Bucky can still crack jokes.

You wrap your legs around his and flip Bucky onto his back. He groans as he hits the mattress. The sight of you in all of your naked glory above him is more than enough to make him come, but he holds it off. But then you grind yourself into his thigh, and he becomes the moaning mess.

Riding Bucky’s thigh had always been a fantasy of yours, and it was finally becoming a reality. You pressed your core harder into his leg, feeling every shift of his muscle against the fabric of his pants. It created a delicious friction, and you weren’t going to stop. Bucky was enjoying the sight of you writhing against him. He loved the view of you growing closer to your completion by using him as a sex toy. Pretty soon, you reach yet another orgasm, and Bucky takes over again.

He stands up and takes off his pants and boxers, and you can’t help but stare. Bucky Barnes is fucking hung. When he notices you staring, he winks and chuckles, “The serum affected everything, doll.”

He reaches into the bedside table and pulls out a condom. He rolls it on and lines himself up with you, his eyes silently asking for permission. You nod, and he slowly pushes himself in.

Now, you were by no means a virgin, but Bucky was so big that it felt like you were.

“Doll, Y/N, you’re so fucking tight.” He buries himself to the hilt and stays unmoving, allowing you to adjust to his massive size. You are filled to the brim, and you finally understand why sex toys are made with veins and ridges. You can feel every inch of Bucky, and when he starts to move, you feel the friction that each ridge creates. You feel impossibly whole with Bucky inside you.

When Bucky begins to pick up the pace, the pleasure you felt is multiplied by tenfold. You already had two orgasms that night, and you were well on your way to a third. Bucky made you feel things like you never had before. You thought you had had good sex before, but it was nothing in comparison to this. As you neared your orgasm, you looked into Bucky’s eyes, and he was staring back at you. There was something so intimate about the act, so loving, that you came right then and there.

“Bucky!”

When Bucky felt your walls clench around him, he was done for. He came hard, just as you had.

“Y/N.”

Bucky thrusted a few more times, to ride out both of your orgasms. Then, he fell on top of you.

After a moment of silence, you groan.

“You’re heavy.”

“Well sorry that I’m tuckered out, doll,” Bucky chuckles. You knew he wasn’t really, that serum could keep him going all night, but you liked to think that you wore him out, even just a bit.

Bucky shifts over, and in doing so, slips out of you. You both groan at the loss. Bucky then stands up, ties off the condom, and throws it away. He goes to the bathroom and comes back with a wet towel to clean you up. When that is all done, he lays back down next to you, and draws you into his arms. You knew you needed to talk with Bucky, but that could wait until the morning. You don’t think you could talk coherently right now anyway. After all, Bucky Barnes had just ruined you.

A/N

alright folks that was it so far. if you enjoyed please let me know! my requests will be open because i want to write more, so drop one of those down. thanks babes!

[ladynestaarcheron]

Like Pristine Glass - Chapter Four

ao3 - ff.net - masterpost

(tagging these cuties: @humanexile @skychild29 @rhysandsdarlingfeyre @candid-confetti @rhysandsrightknee​ @missing-merlin​ @azriels-forgotten-shadow​ @books-and-cocos​)

hello everyone!! chapter four is ready!! thank you all so much for your kind words on the previous chapters. i read every reblog and they all mean so much to me. i hope you all enjoy this one! we get a bit more insight into nesta’s past in illyria. i think you’ll be able to see what direction it’s going in.

October 19 - 4 years after

When Cassian arrives back in Velaris, Elain has already made up her mind to go and she wants to be prepared. So she pounces on him first.

“How is she?” she asks him when he returns. “Is she very angry? Is she in good health? What about the children? What are their names? How old are they?”

“Give him a minute, Elain,” Rhys says gently, but she ignores him. She has not spoken to her brother-in-law for three days, in solidarity with her elder sister.

“What did she say?” Elain presses.

Cassian’s voice is weak in a way Elain has never heard before. “She’s...all right. They’re all all right.”

He sits down on one of the big armchairs, letting his wings rest.

“Just all right?” Elain says, sitting down on the couch next to him. “There must be something else. Is she working at that bookstore, then?”

“Elain,” Mor says. “Maybe we can ask him later, after he’s rested and eaten.”

Elain bites her lip. Lashing out is against all laws of propriety and her nature besides, but she’s felt bottled up with anger and pain for the past three days, and she has no outlet.

Luckily Cassian spares her the struggle. “It’s fine. I understand. Yes, she works at a bookstore. The children are three,” and here his voice cracks along with Elain’s heart. “Two boys and a girl.”

“What are their names?” Feyre says softly, sitting down next to Elain. She puts her hand on her knee, to share comfort along with their pain.

“The girl is called Ava. Avery. And Nicky...Nicholas. And Ollie.”

Elain’s eyes start to blur with tears when he says the girl’s name, and she lets out a sob when he says the last one.

Feyre is crying too. “Ollison,” she says, gasping. “Oh, Nesta.”

After their father. Elain had not realized....

But of course. Of course she had been hiding that as well.

“I want to see her,” she says, blurting out the words.

“I know,” he says. He doesn’t meet her eyes. “I’m sure you both want to. But...she has a life. And I’ve already upheaved enough.”

“What does that mean?” Feyre says.

“I asked about you,” he says, and he does look at Feyre when he speaks to her. “She...doesn’t want you to visit just yet.”

Elain feels her heart clench.

“She doesn’t want to see us? She said that?” Feyre’s voice sounds as despaired as Elain feels.

“Not just yet,” he says, and his tone is apologetic, guilty. “It’s a shock, I think. I sprung up on her. She didn’t know I was coming. And now you two...I think she’ll feel attacked. I’m sorry.”

Feyre nods slowly, but Elain can’t believe what she’s hearing.

“I’m going.”

Now Cassian turns to her.

“Elain...”

“No. I don’t care. I’m going. She’s my sister and I want to see her. She can be upset but she can’t keep me out forever. We’ll talk. She can be angry. But we’ll talk and it’ll be fine.” She sounds desperate, she knows, but she is. “I’m going.”

“She doesn’t want that right now,” Cassian says wearily.

“She’ll manage,” Elain says, and it’s not a snap, but it’s very close. She sees Mor and Rhys exchange a glance.

Elain stands up. “I’m going. I have to. You should understand that.” She stares Cassian in the eye. “If you had waited a second longer, I would have gone with you three days ago.”

He nods reluctantly. “I understand, but she said she didn’t want you to come.”

“I don’t care,” she says firmly. Nesta is hurt. But she can’t just cut Elain out forever. She can’t, because what is Elain supposed to do without her big sister forever?

She knows Nesta. She’s never going to forgive her enough to invite her herself unless Elain pushes a bit. And Elain pushing...well, that isn’t Amren or Rhys pushing. From her it comes only with love. Nesta knows that. She has to.

And perhaps Cassian does, because he looks over at Azriel who says, “I’ll take you.”

“Thank you,” she says, but she’s not looking at him. She’s looking at Amren, who hasn’t said anything since Cassian came back and is now pointedly staring outside.

“All right, then,” she says, settling back down. She musters a smile. “Tell us what our niece and nephews are like.”

Her smile turns effortless when Cassian’s face turns brilliant, younger, lighter. “Oh,” he says, and his voice is that of a different male as he tells them.

---

October 23 - 1 year after

Montesere had no charms. The land was flat and boring, at least in the region Nesta was in. The people didn’t smile, either--or perhaps just not at her, perhaps out of fear. Though for some reason, Nesta felt it was more suspicion.

She had enough to spend a few weeks in a nice inn, and decided to find a less-than-nice one in order to save money, but she drew the line at sharing a room. Itchy sheets and lukewarm water she could handle, but she wasn’t anywhere near the vicinity of trust or peace of mind  required to live with a stranger, even for a few days.

She couldn’t even live with her sisters. Or...anyone.

She had originally planned to wait until she reached Gilameyva to send a letter, but wandering around a pawnshop, she found herself struck with a wave of homesickness. No, that couldn’t be what it was--Prythian was not her home, and she did not miss living South of the Wall. She only missed being human.

And her sisters too, she supposed. She guessed she missed them. Which was odd, because she didn’t think she had missed them all her time in Illyria.

That was the difference. She had been kept in Illyria, she had chosen to cross the sea.

So as she sold an old locket she never liked, she bought some paper and ink and asked the male at the desk where she could send post.

That night, after a quiet dinner alone in her room, she sat by the small side table and stared at the paper before her.

She could feel her cheeks redden. Guilt or shame or something else, she didn’t know. But she didn’t know what to write.

She didn’t want to address her note. She didn’t even want to address her leaving.

Coward, she thought to herself, and made up her mind:

Dear Elain and Feyre,

I’m well. I’ve made it to Montesere. It’s boring landscape. The sea is lovely, though. I can hear it from my room late at night when it’s quiet.

I won’t be staying here for long. I’d like to head farther South.

Here she paused. The sea is lovely...small talk. Ridiculous. These were her sisters. Sure, she had never truly opened up to them, but she had come close, a few times. And they deserved more than this, didn’t they? So she continued:

I know you must be worried. You needn’t be. I’m all right.

I’m sorry if my leaving hurt you. I was drowning. I hope you can understand.

That part was more for Feyre. Because she would understand, wouldn’t she? Being locked up?

Nesta read her letter over a few more times. There wasn’t a lot written, but she couldn’t think of anything to say, so she just signed it Love always, Nesta.

That would have to do for now.

---

October 19 - 4 years after

Even though Cassian left yesterday, Nesta can still feel his presence in her home. And she knows that even though she hadn’t seen him for four years, nothing between them had changed...and yet, everything is different.

It’s the same because he’s still there, under her skin and in the back of her mind, his presence haunting her like ghosts of her past and taunts of her future all at once. And it isn’t because--well--she’s got her children to think of, doesn’t she? And the fact that he never wrote her back.

After their talk, she did not dare ask why he had not read her letters, too scared to learn the reason. Mercifully, he did not ask why she hadn’t written after they were born or why she did not come back to Prythian.

She’s not ready to have that conversation, but it had loomed over the course of his stay.

He left yesterday, with promises to return in three days.

She tells all this to Miri at work, in hushed tones, hidden between the shelves of the non-fiction section.

“And were they sad to see him go?” she asks.

“I think they were a bit upset at first, but we told them he’d come back with gifts before the weekend,” Nesta says.

“And you?” Miri says gently.

“And I what?”

“Were you sad?”

Nesta pauses her re-shelving. “I was...not sad,” she says, voice soft. “I know he’ll be back. And I wouldn’t miss him anyway.”

“Nesta, it’s all right,” Miri says. “You can tell me what you feel.”

“It’s been too long to miss him,” Nesta lies. “I don’t want to open all that up again, anyway.”

But watching him with the children, Nesta couldn’t help thinking of what could have been. How co-parenting for the past three years might have worked. She loves having the last word, making all the decisions herself, all the pride going to her. But what would it have been like to have someone to share the burden of Ollie’s chronic coughing with as a newborn? Someone to take on the role of child-rearer alongside her. Not a friend helping her out, but someone who lived with her, whom the children equated with her.

Zeyn would have done that, she thinks, and shoves the thought away.

She knows she’s being ridiculous, anyway. She left Prythian because Cassian could not be her future. She was not his priority and in the end he wasn’t hers. They weren’t enough for each other and they couldn’t make it work. Of course her children ended up being the most immeasurable happiness she ever could have received, but she did not plan or want a pregnancy four years ago, certainly not with Cassian.

Nostalgia is rose-colored, she guesses.

“Have you told anyone else?” Miri says.

“Just Amorette,” Nesta says. “She’s coming over tonight after the children go to bed.”

“Good.” Miri nods, and doesn’t mention Zeyn, for which Nesta is grateful.

Amorette is Nesta’s closest friend in Gilameyva, a healer who treated Nesta during her pregnancy and then delivered her children.

She has barely had time to see her these past three days, much less talk and try to sort herself aloud, and that’s another thing she’s upset about.

She hides enough from Amorette, Adil, Miri, and Zeyn without her past creeping into their lives. She feels guilty and dishonest, especially when Zeyn grins broadly at her and asks her when she’s going to let him come over for dinner.

“Or did you think I hadn’t noticed you’d been keeping me out?” he teases.

Nesta ignores the twist of her insides. “Now’s not a good time,” she says, focusing on the piles of books in front of her.

“I know what it is,” Zeyn says, and his voice isn’t joking. It’s soft, and he comes up behind her to wrap her in a hug.

“You’re worried about Chokecherry, aren’t you?” he says.

Nesta’s glad he’s behind her, head buried in her neck, so he can’t see her flinch when she hears his concern and feels his kiss.

“Yes,” she says, swallowing the vile feeling. “It’s money I need, Zeyn.”

Shutting him out, lying to him about shutting him out, and even lying to him about money now that she knows it is no longer a concern might not have bothered her when she first came North of the Wall. But now she’s almost normal, happy in her home, and this isn’t who she is. Especially not where Zeyn is concerned.

“I’ll help you,” he says, his voice slightly muffled against her shoulder. “You know that...we’ll all help you. We won’t let anything happen to you.”

“I know,” Nesta says. Because she knows he believes that and for now that’s enough. She doesn’t need to think about how she knows it isn’t true.

Cassian lives in the skies, but she’s always associated him more with the ocean: relentless, ever-moving, ever-pushing forward, useless to fight against. And she knows she’s going to drown.

---

October 1 - Year of

He had gone again, to another camp. Whether or not it was the same one he had been to last time she did not know, but he had said he might be a bit longer this time. She didn’t want to waste anytime. She left the house shortly after he did.

She glared at the chocolate bar still waiting on the kitchen table. He was so infuriating sometimes.

Nesta didn’t quite know where she was going, but her feet lead her to the bar. She supposed it was hopeless to go inside.

Her head was, as always, pounding. The pain in her blood and bones would not clear. She needed a drink. She needed a distraction. She needed...a job.

She started as the thought hit her. A job. With a paycheck. She could afford passage to Gilameyva. She could support herself. She could leave.

But where was she going to find one? She knew the barmale wouldn’t hire her, out of fear of Cassian’s retribution. There were the shops...she was good with numbers. She could bookkeep, she was sure.

But there was no point of even asking. The shopkeepers were all scared of her. She saw a help wanted sign inside on of the clothing stores and stepped inside, and a hush fell over the place. No one met her eyes, and when the salesgirl approached her to ask if she needed help, Nesta could smell her anxiety.

(Another thing she hated about herself--smelling emotions was beyond bizarre. It felt unnatural. And it made it that much harder to keep her own secrets.)

So not a store. Or at least, not one here. There were some smaller shops, pressed deeper into the mountains, she thought. She had seen people with bags she hadn’t recognized coming from the wrong directions. So maybe there.

She had to. She couldn’t stay here. Not with him. She’d die first.

---

October 19 - 4 years after

Her first glimpse of Sugar Valley is not what she expected. A quiet berry-township with no discernible nightlife. Not even a bar, as far as she can tell.

“I can’t believe Netsa’s been living here,” Azriel says, mostly to himself.

“I know,” Elain says. “It’s so...small.”

“All the berry-towns are,” he says.

“No, I don’t mean the size. I mean...a small town. Small people. Small lives. Not that there’s anything wrong with that,” she says hurriedly. “It’s just...it reminds me a bit of where we grew up, and I always thought Nesta would change the world. Move to the Continent and make a name for herself.”

Azriel smiles. “She has moved to the Continent and made a name for herself.” His voice is almost teasing, and Elain allows herself a moment to enjoy the warmth that spreads through her. He only takes that tone with her.

“I guess I mean if I had to guess which of my sisters would be ruling a country, it would have been Nesta.”

Azriel doesn’t answer for a few seconds, and at first she thinks it’s because he’s upset. He is, after all, loyal to his High Lady. But then he says, “I don’t think she would like that.”

Elain frowns. “Well, you barely know Nesta at all.” She doesn’t mean to sound so sharp.

But Azriel doesn’t take offense, and his tone is as gentle as ever. “I don’t mean that you don’t care for her,” he says. “I only mean...she did choose this. She chose Sugar Valley. So...she must like a small town.”

Elain tugs at her hair. “Perhaps,” she says, quietly.

She hates to think there are parts of Nesta others have noticed that she hasn’t. She suddenly feels a strong possessive feeling. She has never had to share Nesta before. She had been all hers, then she had been no one’s, now she belongs to three small children Elain has never met and Gilameyvan fae and maybe Cassian and who knows who else?

But Elain doesn’t like the jealousy inside her. It’s not like her.

“Why are you so anxious?” Azriel asks her.

“Why am I so anxious?” She looks at him in disbelief, but he waits patiently for a reply. She sighs. “Because I don’t know if I’ll recognize her. Maybe I lost her. Maybe she’s too different.”

Azriel takes a step closer. She shivers.

“You’re both different,” he says. “People change. But you’ll still move in sync. She loved you too much to have lost that.”

She smiles slightly at him. “Let’s hope so,” she says.

He takes an abrupt step back. “Are you sure you don’t want me to escort you farther,” he says, his tone more formal, showing less emotion.

He does that, still. When they get too close, too comfortable.

“No, thank you,” she says.

Nesta doesn’t want her and Feyre to visit, Cassian said. She doesn’t know what her reaction to Azriel at her door would be, but she’s certain nothing good.

“I’ll wait here, then,” he says.

“Thank you,” she says, and she smiles at him again before turning in the direction Cassian had instructed her to.

The town really is quite small, and before long, she reaches a collection of houses that all have the same general look: white or grey or blue, with red roofs. Some two-stories, some bungalows, all relatively small. Elain doubts anyone has more than what they need...but perhaps they like it that way.

Nesta’s lawn is mostly neat, with more wild bloodroot than proper grass. She has her own sugarberry tree. There are some toys scattered here and there.

And she keeps a rose bush by her porch. That makes Elain smile. A rosebush demands care; it can’t be left to grow wild. It looks well-kept, and she loves the idea of Nesta taking care of it.

She supposes Nesta takes care of lots of things she never used to before.

With the white door in front of her, Elain figures there’s no point in dawdling. So she knocks.

Nesta must know it’s her before she opens the door, because Elain only has to wait a moment before she appears before her, shutting it quickly behind her.

Elain sucks in a breath. Nesta. Alive, breathing, beautiful. And angry.

“What are you doing here?” she hisses, brilliant grey eyes storming.

“Nesta,” she says, for she cannot bring herself to say anything else. “Oh, Nesta!” And she throws herself on her sister, squeezing her tightly in a hug.

“Elain--”

But Elain isn’t interested in hearing her protests. It’s been too long since she felt her warm curves (now more rounded than they once were), breathed in her distinct floral scent. “Oh, Nesta, you’re all right!”

“Get off of me,” Nesta says, but she does not push her away.

Excellent. Despite her fuming, her pain, she is happy to see her too.

“I have missed you every single day,” she says, determined not to cry as she does so. “Every second.” She breaks away to look into Nesta’s eyes.

As usual, they betray nothing.

Elain isn’t bothered, though. She knows how deeply Nesta feels; she simply hides it all. Elain has known this her whole life. Others think her cold, distant, but Elain knows how brightly Nesta burns and she has always felt the fire.

“And I am so sorry,” she says, slowly, meaning each word, staring her right in the eye.

At this Nesta looks away. “Elain....”

“We don’t have to talk about it now,” she says briskly. Nesta doesn’t want to address it now, and that’s fine. They have forever to talk. They’re together now, and that’s what matters. That has to be what matters. “I want to meet my niece and nephews.” She smiles.

Nesta’s eyes dart back to Elain’s and narrow. “That’s what this is about?”

Elain’s smile does not waver. Her sister is terrifying, she knows, but she has no reason to fear. This is Nesta, who has taken care of her her entire life. “Of course not. I would come for you regardless. But since you have them...” Elain trails off.

She has grown strong. She is not so afraid anymore, of herself, of the world Feyre brought them into. Of being alone. She wants to show Nesta.

Nesta breathes deeply. “I told...I said I don’t want them meeting any of you...just yet,” she adds rather hastily, when she sees the hurt in Elain’s eyes.

“You’re punishing us?” she asks, devastated.

“Elain, please. Don’t be so dramatic. I don’t want to overwhelm them.”

“I know it will take time to forgive me, and Feyre too, but please. Please, Nesta, we love you so much, you know that. Just let me see them. I’ll help you. I’ll move here.”

“You are not moving to Sugar Valley.”

“Well, I doubt you’ll move back to the Night Court just yet.”

Nesta lets out a sound of disbelief. “Do you think!”

“So I will stay here,” Elain says. She knows Nesta is hurt, and she has every right to be, but this cannot be unforgivable. Nesta has loved her too much, all her life, to cut her out completely, when she is standing before her and begging.

“Elain,” she says, moving closer a bit, and lowering her voice. “I have a life here. A home. Do you understand that?”

Elain does not wince at her tone. She can read her sister better than anything. “I know,” she says. “I want to be part of it. I want to be in your life. All your lives.”

Nesta bites her tongue, and that makes Elain’s heart sink.

Because all the venom from her sister was towards Cassian, she knew. Because her sister would not have let herself do anything to potentially sabotage her children’s future, and Elain presented her with an outlet for some of it. But biting her tongue...to hide what she wanted to throw at Elain. Venom Elain deserved.

Even in her righteous anger, Nesta still protected her sister. Even from herself.

“I love you, Nesta,” she says, ever patient. “Please let me in.”

She reaches out a hand and takes Nesta’s in her own. She rubs her thumb over the back, like Nesta would do years ago, when they were young and came to their older sister, frightened of storms or darkness.

“Elain. I said no.” And she takes her hand back, folding her arms. Her eyes dull, tired more than anything else.

Elain’s face falls with her heart again. This she did not expect. Nesta does not always let her in, but she lets her be by her side, always.

Was it too much? Is she to be exiled from her elder sister’s life forever? Not for the first time, Elain curses herself for agreeing with Feyre’s miserably executed, if well-intentioned, plan.

“I don’t understand,” she says, and her voice is a whisper in an attempt to hide the pain.

“You don’t have children,” Nesta says, and she is almost gentle as she replies.

With a jerk backwards, Elain realizes something.

Out of the three of them, she is the only one who thinks of herself as sister first.

Feyre is a mate. Nesta is a mother. Elain is a sister.

To two females who have their own lives.

This is not about you, she tells herself.

“How long do I have to wait,” she says, stumbling over the words and fighting to keep her voice even.

Nesta sighs, and Elain feels guilty and a burden and sorry, so sorry. Sorry she let her leave, sorry she didn’t get over her hurt and read the letters, sorry she did not chase after her, and sorry she came.

“You don’t want me here,” she says, her voice broken.

Perhaps she is not strong. Perhaps nothing has changed for her.

“Just some time, Elain,” Nesta is saying. “Are you...do you have a place to stay? I can....”

But Elain does not listen. Because she has failed and everything is wrong and sometimes you can feed your soil and sow your seeds but it does not matter because there is no rain.

This cannot be irreversible. This cannot be forever. Because forever means something now, and it cannot exist without Nesta.

She may not be strong. But she knows who is. One of the strongest people she knows. Someone she is lucky to love as much as she loves Nesta.

“I’m coming back tomorrow,” she says, determined. And she pulls Nesta in for another hug before turning on her heel and leaving.

She perhaps is not as resilient as Nesta or steadfast as Feyre, but she loves them. Forever. And that might not be as impressive a strength, but it’s what she has, and she will not give up. On either of her sisters. They will be together again. Because she is a sister.

And, she realizes, she is an aunt.

And that’s a new and wonderful thing to think of herself as.

---

Chapter Five

[wings-of-a-storm]

Totally taking this tiny window of no updates to reflect on how sweet Elu’s river stroll (and great escape) was in 3x03. That and Eliott coming out to Lucas! This legend keeps coming for us...

CODE RED: EVERY MAN FOR HIMSELF

New scenes in Skam France really give me life because they are often so understated but potent. The night guard scene was definitely one of them.

It was so awesome that even though there was danger of getting caught and getting into huge trouble when the night guard showed up, Eliott’s first instincts were to both put his arm around Lucille’s shoulder and to linger and search for Lucas. I thought both of those instincts demonstrated the quality of person Eliott is. We’ll forget that he, er, ditched his girlfriend shortly afterwards. Ehem.

We also see that Eliott was the first to make it out of the grounds, but instead of fleeing into the dead of night with everyone else, he waits for Lucas even though he doesn’t know where he is. That act spoke volumes too, didn’t it? Sure there would have been some ulterior motives there (he didn’t come all this way to not spend time with Lucas), but there would have also been some concern there too. I really liked how this new scene brought all of that out.

It was also so awesome that when Lucas stopped in the middle of the path and was clearly freaking out as he tried to find someone (Eliott? His friends?), the hero who saw the patrolman’s light about to hit Lucas, who ran over and dragged him to safety, was Eliott. I mean, it wasn’t as dramatic as Eliott darting out in front of a moving truck to pull Lucas to safety, but it somehow felt as exciting in the moment? ;)

Can you believe though, that it didn’t end there? That Eliott softly asked/told Lucas that he was going to go walk him home? Thank you Skam France for making that a thing! I didn’t know I needed it in my life but now that it is here, I want to metaphorically hang it up next to the piano scene. It is just so cute! And at the same time, so much more than that!

I mean, on its own, it is such a sweet thing for Eliott to want to do. But since we are privy to Lucas’ life, that innocent act also feels so incredibly touching because Lucas has been feeling so isolated and neglected/uncared for lately. His home life has been absolute shit -- his Dad is so caught up in his own life that he is failing to give his teenage son even the basic needs: shelter and food (ie. not transferring him money for his own survival while his mother is in a clinic). But here is this sweet boy who buys him snacks, lends him beer, and is now wishing to walk him home because he cares about him and wants to spend time with him.

I am just such a sucker for the idea of someone looking out for you; for little old you being a priority in someone else’s world… Lucas seems to have that with Eliott. Ugly sobbing, guys.

I need to also be real though. The only problem with this scene is that, er, Eliott totally, absolutely, 100% ditched his girlfriend! How does someone, whose first instinct is always to wrap an arm around their girlfriend’s shoulder in affection and protection, manage to lose her so easily like ten seconds later? And instead of finding her or joining her, only goes to look for his new crush and walk him home. Oh, the painful reality of love triangles...

WALKING LUCAS HOME/COMING OUT

Their whole quiet stroll together to Lucas’ apartment was so calming and intimate in its sincerity. It was a real chance to breathe after their hectic lust battle in the common room. It was reminiscent of their evening at Eliott’s place, where they could just relax and be themselves.

There were several things I enjoyed about this stage of their night:

1) Lucas confiding to Eliott about Chloé. While yes, it is absolutely Lucas’ own doing that he is so stressed by the intense attachment he cultivated in Chloé, I liked that he was able to admit the stress of that to someone who would understand the falsity of that relationship and why he did it. His friends completely ignored his original discomfort and instead shamed him for not wanting to be with her. But now Lucas has someone he can confide this stuff to who actually listens to him. (Plus it lets Eliott know Lucas is basically still available, so strategic tick to Lucas there.)

2) In a similar vein, Eliott confiding to Lucas about his problems with Lucille. While yes, it is nice to see Eliott finally tell Lucas about Lucille and lay his cards out, I liked that Eliott seemed to be confiding in Lucas in turn, as if he was still processing some resignation about his failing relationship but hadn’t quite had someone to talk it through with.

Plus, Eliott’s solemn face when he was reflecting on his relationship seemed to be a glimpse into how conflicted he feels right now: that although he is very keen to let Lucas know he wants to date him when/if he breaks it off with Lucille, he is still a little sad that his current relationship hasn’t ended up being what he needed (cough Polaris). I really like that his face told the story as much as his words did.

3) Eliott coming out to Lucas!! In the now immortal words: “Not necessarily a girl.”

Even though Lucas had secretly seen Polaris and thus seen how open-minded Eliott is about different types of relationships, it was never a guarantee that Eliott identified as LGBTIQ. Eliott has finally made that explicit to Lucas and thank god he did because Lucas really needed to hear it from him. Good on you, Eliott! Your boldness has been legendary tonight.

Can I just say though, how hilariously pleased with himself did Eliott look when he was about to drop the bomb and was anticipating his own delivery? He couldn’t wait to see Lucas’ reaction and I am here for that cheek.

4) Lucas knows he is being taken seriously. If we look back to Lucas’ conversation with Alexia about bisexuality, Lucas’ ignorance seemed to betray his perception/fear of what it might mean for Eliott to be bi/pan: that he can have fun flings with guys but would only ever seriously date a girl because that is easier with the status quo.

That night by the river though, Eliott didn’t just make his sexuality clear: he let Lucas know that he takes their connection very seriously. When he stared Lucas down after saying he wouldn’t necessarily want to date a girl when/if he breaks up with Lucille, he basically blew up Lucas’ presumption of how he would rate in the hierarchy of Eliott’s bi/pan relationships as a boy. Lucille, after all, was a long term relationship, and that is what Eliott implied he still wants. With Lucas.

So yes, Lucas, when/if Eliott breaks it off with Lucille, you will be the one he dates as an equal and not as a piece of fun on the side. (Harmful stigma, be gone!)

5) Their almost first kiss! Oh that incredible lonnnnng stare that was the beginning of a kiss! (Let’s be real, they were already kissing with their eyes.)

Firstly, could Lucas have been any more endearing the way he so quickly went from cocky to nervous and yearning.

I mean, that intense dance of Lucas’ pupils as he tried to focus on Eliott’s face so close to his… Lucas didn’t look like he was able to initiate a kiss but he did look like he was hoping for one.

And then we have Eliott, whose head lowered ever so slightly. Just a degree. And whose quality of gaze changed, ever so slightly. Just a degree. ;)

Eliott sort of got a bit stuck there, on the cusp of something, but the anticipation was alive between them. It looked like Eliott might have gotten there in the end if he’d had a little longer to sort his head out before they were interrupted…

I mean the way he looked at Lucas’ apartment block and then straight into his eyes was thick with innuendo. Whether it was going to be through his own actions or Lucas’, a kiss had definitely been on the cards that night.

Their feelings were there, the intensity was there, the challenge was there, but it just wasn’t quite the right time for them. Their looks unlocked a promise though. It will happen.

This week?! Are we really ready for it?