#but things happen. people go nonverbal
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i am afraid that is completely besides the point!!! please reevaluate!
ok so you support the disabled, disordered, and mentally ill. but are you normal when someone takes long to respond to you? or if they have a hard time listening to you? when someone has a hard time giving you their attention? or when their manners arenât perfect? or when someone makes mistakes that may be obvious or simple to you? or when someone talks loudly or âcauses a scene?â are you normal when people have to think really hard to explain things? or when they have a hard time putting their thoughts into words?
are you normal when peopleâs hair is unkempt or oily or visibly unbrushed? or when their face might be full of acne? or when they donât have deodorant on for one reason or another? how about if their clothes are dirty?Â
are you normal about disabled/disordered/mentally ill people when they make you a little uncomfortable?
#i understand getting horribly anxious if someone leaves you on read or delivered or wont respond without prior indication!#i've been there myself!#but things happen. people go nonverbal#phones die#parents start talking to them#errands could be getting run#etc etc#just because the internet allows you to respond instantly doesn't mean you always should or have to!!#sometimes people need to take breaks and life gets in the way!!!#as for the second comment#i know what that feeling is like and sure it's good you're trying to be âaccepting and accommodatingâ but from one autist to another i fear#-it doesnt make all that much of a differnce when youre visibly#well#uncomfortable around them#oftentimes people dont hide it as well as they think they do#and some autists are really not that bad at picking that up#if you catch my drift#please just talk to to people who are disabled/disordered/mentally ill how you would with literally anyone else#unless they say otherwise for whatever reason#please be normal about people even when they âturn you offâ#sigh. they were NOT kidding. that tumblr really CAN media illiteracy
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very impossible to find the balance between "i want my friends to be able to talk to me about their problems and tell me when they're struggling" and "i am extremely emotionally fragile at the moment because i'm doing very badly and talking about very heavy topics especially with no warning is not something i feel capable of dealing with right now because i'm on the verge of a violent mental breakdown"
#i guess i need to find a way of telling people that i'm in that headspace in the first place#because i probably seem completely fine#but i can't tell people those things unless they explicitly invite me to do so first#so i'm assuming everyone just looks at me and goes yeah you seem fine so i can unload all this heavy stuff on you and you'll be able to cop#but unfortunately. i cannot and i feel guilty about it#but i already have way more bad days than good and when i have to hear people talking about like#very intense personal trauma and suicide and shit#it throws me off for the rest of the day and i go nonverbal until i can go straight home and sob until i fall asleep#and that is not an exaggeration it keeps happening to me with multiple different people#i don't want anyone to feel like they have to pretend around me in any way#but i also don't know how to cope with hearing intense things like this when i'm on a knife's edge mentally all the time#and i cannot afford to keep cutting my days so much shorter when i should be working#and also like when people DO talk to me about these things it's like#it's good they can get it off their chest#but now i'm holding onto all of the stuff they've just told me as well as the stuff i was already secretly holding onto about my own life#and now i have to go home alone with nowhere to put any of it because i don't have anyone to talk to#i've had people tell me this is therapeutic to talk about this stuff#but it's not for me because i'm not talking i'm just listening and then being overwhelmed and triggered and upset about it all#and most of it probably boils down to the fact that i cannot express my own feelings or tell people my boundaries#in situations this sensitive because it's so like. precarious and awkward#but i'm like i can't deal with it all the time it's too much
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why dont u like cars eca
what's there to like about em.
#eca orichird#daily eca#lil' eca#not the only one with shades and opinions (asks)#imagine you are a scrawny 4 year old runaway in a big city. the sidewalks are crowded; the afternoon sun beats down; and you're bustled#along with the movement of pedestrians because if you stop moving you're going to get trampled or caught. the movement of the crowd splits#slightly and in the blur you try to move where there's less foot traffic; hit your knees against a metal ledge; and clamber up the step#there's the sound of beeping and coins; but no one notices as you're pushed inward (you realize you're now inside something; a building?)#every chair is taken; there's a disorienting amount of people standing around you. it's loud and scary. your voice catches in your throat#and if you weren't nonverbal already; you sure are now. you dont know whatâs happening. the thing you're in jolts and you'd almost fall ove#if you weren't packed in on all sides; there's a rumbling roar that mixes with the rush in your ears and through the sparse gaps in people#you can see the world passing by through glass; the thing you're in is /moving/ and you don't know where and you dont know how to escape an#you canât find an exit and there's so many people and no one seems to care about you; youâre surrounded by legs much taller than you.#the metal around you rumbles and jolts and screeches and stops and starts and youâre knocked against strangers and youâre scared.#you are in there for an eternity; the people around you shift but more always take their place. at some point; the crowd thins a little#you scramble to follow a lady who seems to know where to go and you emerge onto a sidewalk in front of a library. youâve never been here#you dont know how far you are from the orphanage. you dont know how to get back. you are very small and scared and feel like things are#never going to be the same again. the suffocation of the bus clings to you; though it may just be a panic attack. lady enters the library#and you unsteadily follow her inside; you spend the rest of the day hiding on a beanbag chair under the stairs and crying silently#at 4 years old this is the worst experience of your life and it sticks with you forever. not to worry though; there will be more.
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oh my fucking god i hate having an anxiety disorder
#marzivents#currently nonverbal bc the anxiety has made me Nauseous!!!#uh. if anyone has any tips on alleviating physical anxiety please do lmk#so sick of just sitting here stewing in it. i try to go do things so i donât reinforce it and then i get so ill that i have to limit myself#and people say itâs not a big deal. bitch i cannot talk rn#and i want to!!! real bad!!!#ah well. at least i know why itâs happening this time. i donât have to question my mental health on top of all this#i know itâs because i have GAD. that makes it a lot easier#still sucks though!!! i hate when i get these like. anxious periods#been an annoying few days man. maybe iâll shower later#gonna keep rbs open but only if people have advice for dealing with this kinda stuff#bc iâm losing my mind iâm so pissed abt it
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Hi! Can I ask how the slashers would feel if they ever accidentally hurt their s/o? Gender and everything is up to you!
How slashers would react to Accidently hurting their S/O
Thank you so much for my first ever request ah! I hope you enjoy đ
Requests are open!
Warning for blood/injury - mild sexual content/reference to sexual activity and power dynamics -unhealthy relationships (I think?)
Reader is gender neutral!
Bubba sawyer
Most likely happened via Bubba playing too hard and Accidently pushing you over or being a bit too heavy handed with you. If itâs a case of them mistaking you for a victim and catching you with their chainsaw before being able to stop then theyâll be even more in inconsolable : (
Stops and stares for a minute to process whatâs happened before devolving into full blown panic.
Sheâll drop whatever sheâs doing to carry you back to the house, even if that means letting the victim escape and having Drayton yell at her.
Will hurriedly explain in rushed sign to either Choptop or Nubbins to go take care of the victim as heâs busy caring for you.
Checks you over frantically. Please explain youâre going to be ok and help them calm down.
Once he knows youâre not in any danger heâll feel absolutely awful about it and whine apologies to you even if you tell him that itâs ok and it wasnât their fault.
Please comfort them once you feel better and reassure them.
Will insist you come up with a verbal and nonverbal sign to give if theyâre accidently messing around to hard.
Will make you agree to stay in the house out of the way when victims are around so you donât Accidently get hurt again.
Thomas Hewitt
After another night of Hoyt berating him for things out of his control, Tommy storms off to the basement to cool off. You follow after him, intending to comfort and wanting to help. You place a hand on his shoulder without thinking, forgetting he doesnât enjoy physical touch without warning, thinking it might help. Whipping around he grabs your wrist a little too hard, causing you to wince.
He snatches his hand back as soon as he realises what heâs done.
Tommy will bring you to Luda may to have her check you over and assess the damage.
Once he knows youâre safe heâll confine himself to the basement for a few days, only coming out to eat but even then itâs tense.
Heâs truly sorry and feels like all those people who called him a monster and an animal were right, he hurt the one he cares about most, after all.
After a few days apart, a lot of hushed words of affirmation and kisses/nose bumps heâll feel comfortable being with you again.
You know to let him cool off by himself and come to you when heâs ready after a heated argument now.
Michale Myers
You jump out at Michael thinking it would be funny to catch the shape off guard for once and not the other way around. Unfortunately this backfires and he swings his knife at you, thinking it may be an intruder since youâve never pulled something like this before, You manage to jolt out of the way but the knife still catches you in the shoulder. Thankfully, itâs only superficial and will heal, but it still looks like it needs medical attention.
Initially Michael looks at you unamused, granted itâs hard to tell what heâs feeling underneath the mask. He gives you a kind of âwell If you werenât being dumb this wouldnât have happenedâ attitude. However this is a front for the actual panic he refuses to show on the surface.
Having a few cuts and scratches isnât super uncommon when your with Michael considering his tastes involving knives in bed ; )
Usually hurting others comes naturally and without remorse to Michael, so it shakes him to his core that heâs actively worrying about your wellbeing instead of feeling the usual indifference.
It disturbs him that he actually cares about someone enough to feel remorse for his actions.
After unceremoniously pulling your shirt off and looking the wound over he forces you go to A&E, practically marching your ass out the door.
Since heâs basically an escaped criminal he canât exactly casually walk in the hospital with you, however he will stalk you the entire time, lurking close by to make sure you arrive and leave safely.
Although he usually has his guard up he vows to try be a little less bristly with you from now on if it means he doesnât have to see you hurt and feel that awful tug of regret/worry in his chest.
Jason voorhees
You went out looking for Jason one night after he hadnât returned to the cabin by his usual time. You were worried heâd been overpowered by a group of trespassers or caught in a trap and didnât have any way to communicate that to you. The woods were beautiful but so dense and vast, getting lost or injured in the thick of them may as well be a death sentence.
Whilst searching for your missing partner you get your leg snagged in a bear trap he had set out previously for the trespassers. You howl in pain as you hear the sickening snap of your ankle between the traps jaws.
Jason was trudging his way back to the cabin when he heard it. Knowing that wasnât a rougue teen as heâd cleared them out already, alarm bells went off in his head. He stormed to scene as fast as he could.
He could have sworn his undead heart stopped for the second time as he saw you sitting there in agony, murky blood seeping into the forest floor.
He rushes to your side and looks frantically between the trap and your teary face, he knows heâs going to have to disengage the traps and for you itâs going to be..less than pleasent.
He signs for you to grip onto his arm for support. Since heâs already dead and regenerates fairly quickly he feels itâs the least he can do to let you grip his arm for dear life as he wrenches the trap from your shattered ankle. If you cause any damage to his arm (which is very unlikely) it will heal up in no time anyway.
Once heâs carried you back to the cabin heâll be frantically following Pamelaâs directions in his head for what to do and how to clean/ wrap it.
If the damage is extensive heâll relent and let you go to the hospital, only if a trusted friend takes you though, heâll be sitting by the window of your shared cabin every minute until you return back to him.
Youâre no longer aloud to be out in the woods after dark alone if heâs set traps. You both carry whistles now so if heâs not home and you need to know heâs safe you can whistle to each other and feel more at ease.
Billy Lenz
Interacting with Billy when heâs having an episode is never a good idea. You thought it would be fine to just be in the room though, providing you stay out of his way. As you enter, Billy is in the midst of trashing his attic once again, the disgusting feelings bubbling in his chest too much to bear. You enter just as heâs angrily thrown an old glass christmas ornament at the floor that the sorority had kept in storage. It shatters and flecks of sparkling glass scatter along the floor. One piece catching you in the hand in a nasty glass splinter. You swear under your breath and rush off to take care of it.
Billy doesnât even realise whatâs happened until you return to him, him now having exhausted himself and you knowing itâs safe to try do some damage control. You bring him a sandwich and juice knowing heâll need it after all the energy and tears he just used up.
Your hands touch as heâs accepting the plate from you with a muted âthank youâ and he notices the bandage.
Billy essentially bristles up like an angry cat at the idea of someone hurting his piggy and demands to know who did it and what happened.
Once you tell him it was actually from the ornament he feels horrible. He doesnât even remember it happening with the state he was in.
He snuggles into the crook of your neck and mumbles apologies into your skin.
Billy will place sloppy kisses over it as an apology until you forgive him. (Not exactly hygenic since itâs an open wound but i meanâŠyouâre dating the attic rat)
Brahms Heelshire
When living with Brahms there isnât usually much to injure yourself on considering the estate is fairly out of the way from the rest of the village. You most likely caught yourself on a pair of sheers. Brahms is being stubborn about you being out of the house and slings the sheers in your general direction from the door frame when you ask for them. You donât even notice you sliced your hand when catching them until you see a patch of blood soaking through your gardening gloves about ten minutes later.
You come in to grab a tea towel to wrap your bleeding finger in, not really fazed as itâs only a small cut. Brahms was lurking from the window as you tended to the hedges, not wanting to be away from you but not yet brave enough to tempt leaving the house heâs been in all these years.
As soon as he sees it heâs panicking, itâs only a little cut and youâre not concerned in the slightest but to Brahms you may as well have just came in with an arm missing. Heâs instantly flittering around you asking if youâre ok and if you need a hospital.
You stifle your laugh at his over the top concern, you find it rather sweet, itâs not his fault heâs a little bit sheltered.
After cleaning the cut and bandaging it, itâs totally fine. If anything Brahms needs more reassuring and coddling than you do to get him to settle.
He apologises a thousand times for his attitude because he knows If he hadnât been stroppy about you leaving the house and passed the sheers nicely then you wouldnât have been hurt in the first place. He promises to try be more composed when he starts getting antsy.
He may need some âšpunishmentâš in order to encourage his behaviour change and to feel forgiven.
He begrudgingly lets you back outside to garden after about a week.
Asa Emory
If youâre the pet of Asa then itâs likely that most of your injuries are purposefully given from him and are no mistake. Youâre poked and prodded often considering your residency in the collection. Wounds from experiments and correctional punishments when you disobey or refuse to submit are not uncommon at all. So it doesnât bother him since he inflicted them. This also assures he cleans them with clinical precision. If you were anyone else he would leave the wounds to fester, if you died from a complication then that was just inconvenient. Not you though, youâve caught his attention and heart. He loves you in his own domineering way.
If the wound was created by him on accident then he would give himself a hard time, chastising himself for his carelessness.
For example, if he had more trouble with law enforcement than he thought and that led to you to spending way more time in the trunk than you usually do, causing you to develop a sore from sitting in one cramped position for too long.
Asa would realise youâre injured once youâre let out of the trunk, hissing in pain as you stretch. He makes you show him where youâre hurting so he can inspect over it.
Despite Asaâs stony face his stomach is actively sinking. He knows youâre hurt because of him and it wasnât purposeful or measured like it would be during a punishment. He sees this as failure in his pet care and it takes a blow to his god complex. Gods donât make mistakes, but here he is, hurting his dolly by being so out of it.
Heâll make sure to clean it for you and even stop putting you in the trunk for a while. This does however still mean youâll be attached to him via leash or chain connected to the ring sitting on his belt. Just because youâre hurt and his favourite toy, doesnât mean he will except anything less than your complete and total submission.
Heâll be more tender and soft handed with you than usual for a while after. Punishments will be withheld until you heal. Then itâs back to normal routine as expected.
Predator/yautja
You were wearing a new perfume youâd picked up at the market during the day, You were only supposed to be getting meats and maybe a new fur for the bed but once the alien at the stand had convinced you to sample it you fell in love with it.
Your mate picks up on an unknown scent entering the house, hackles raising and stalking towards it. As soon as they catch the heat signature they throw a wrist blade in warning.
Their eyes widen in horror, rushing to the door as they catch scent of your tangly blood dripping onto the hardwood floor of your shared home.
The new perfume masked your familiar scent from them, making them believe the house was in danger and being intruded on. If their face could loose colour it would, cringing as they see the wrist blade sticking through your palm, groceries discarded at the door.
They start talking at you in rapid clicks before they realise you canât actually understand. After making sure to keep the object in your hand so you donât bleed out and that youâre not going to pass out on them, they insist on carrying you their medic instead of going to an ooman one.
They argue that their medicine is far more advanced and will heal your wound much more efficiently then your â primitive ooman medicineâ
Thanks to yautja medicine being far more advanced, It will heal like nothing ever happened in around two weeks. The wound stitched shut and given some kind of injection.
Your mate purrs and clicks for you deep from their chest the entire time youâre having the blade removed to try calm you.
They beg for forgiveness despite it literally being an accident and will need some reassurance that they havenât failed you as a mate. Once youâre all healed up theyâll bring back an impressive skull from a hunt as an apology even if youâve already forgiven them.
Whilst itâs healing youâre probably going be kept in the nest of furs and pulled tightly against them whilst they purr and sooth you.
My requests are open if youâd like to send any prompts or ideas for me to write!
#slasher x reader#slashers x reader#asa emory x reader#asa emory#the collection#bubba saywer x reader#bubba sawyer#texas chainsaw massacre#thomas hewitt x reader#thomas hewitt#texas chainsaw massacre: the beggining#jason vorhees x reader#jason voorhees#friday the 13th#brahms heelsire x reader#brahms heelshire#the boy 2016#billy lenz x reader#billy lenz#black christmas#slashers#michael myers x reader#michael myers#halloween#predator#predator x reader#yautja#yautja x reader
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my frustration with âgoing nonverbal/nonspeakingâ (as a fully nonverbal person)
transcript: my frustration with âgoing nonverbal/nonspeakingâ (as a fully nonverbal person)
this written for instagram because of this post. but thought tumblr may like it too. âyouâ means general you, no one specific.
the instagram post and this on wordpress
this disclaimer is for instagram but also for anyone new to this discussion:
in full honestly, donât know how to write this. am tired, language and complex ideas too much at time of writing, and general exhaust at having to argue same thing over and over again and justify own existence. tired of being minority within minority, wish there are others to do these work for me so i donât have to do it all by self, singlehandedly advocate for everyone (not to mention problem with thatâi canât speak for everyone).
so honestly, if you donât have anything nice to say, especially if you speaking (yes, even if you lose speech. include you), just don't say anything at all. move on.
online actually autistic community (AAut) dominated by white, lower support needs. level 1, speaking, late diagnosed, high masking autistics. find people like you is great, what not great is you treat your very narrow community as âvoice of all autisticâ and your experience as ultimate autistic experience. i write plenty about that, many more elaborate than this, if you not familiar with this concept.
many people in this community experience times when cannot speak, sometimes because overwhelm, shutdown, dissociate, or anxiety (situational mutism), but do not struggle with act of speaking rest of time (some struggle with speech all the time but still can speak - more on that later). the community call âgoing nonverbal/nonspeaking,â or even âwhen i am nonverbal nonspeakingâ (not talking about those nonverbal as child and verbal now older), after clinical term ânonverbalâ (nonverbal autism) and term coined by apraxic nonspeaking autistics ânonspeaking.â
both of which talk about it as an âall the timeâ experience.
when i search nonverbal or nonspeaking because i want community too, want see people like me too, two category i see: 1) parents of nonverbal nonspeaking children, whom canât relate to because age, who canât write own experience because their age and developmental ability. and 2) overwhelming amount of speaking autistic talk about going nonverbal going nonspeaking.
and the very very few fully nonverbal nonspeaking voices. drowned out. cannot find anyone.
nonverbal used to be term to describe us, people who canât speak or cannot functionally speak beyond few words. medical term, alright, so some of us donât like. so some of us reject that and create term all of our own, called nonspeaking. created by nonspeaking autistics with severe apraxia and brain body disconnect, describe their own experience of able to think in words able to spell out words (with great dedication and work and support), just cannot do that with mouth. their term. they create.
and you take it? without knowing context? without reading anything by those same nonspeaking coiners?
when is last time you purposely seek out nonverbal nonspeaking voices? when is last time you accidentally came across us? can you name any nonverbal nonspeaking advocate that talk about their experiences? one? two? three? a BIPOC person, a (specifically) Black person? a Black woman? a trans person? a physically disabled person? a person not from western world?
same narrative over and over. âi can speak for nonverbal autistic i understand their experience because i am autistic i canât talk sometimesâ no you cannot. as someone who was able to speak when young who lose speech (âgo nonverbalâ) but now have no speech to lose because full time nonverbal. no the experience not the same. not comparable. you gain it back. i donât. you can explain with mouth words what happen when you get out. i canât, i only have AAC. countless nonverbal nonspeaking people without AAC or sign cannot, at all. you never experience daily small and big struggle of casually being nonverbal all the time.
your experience of lose speech unique from my nonverbal. but if you so insist to compare and equate, you only guest to my experience, my daily life.
âwhen i go nonverbal and no one understand so have to force to speakâ i cannot force words out. know you donât mean to say this, and not saying you at fault for this, but nevertheless accidental perpetuate and reinforce idea that anyone who donât speak can just be forced to speak if try hard enough. but often not how it works. and this exact harmful rhetoric devoid and delays nonverbal nonspeaking people given access to AAC, because âneed try to force words out first, AAC unnatural so last resort.â
this may be new concept for you. new concept to instagram, to tiktok. to other places. it may seem i only one with this problem, âi once saw a nonspeaking personâs account and they donât have problem.â
yeah, because we are not monolith. some nonverbal nonspeaking people donât care. some nonverbal nonspeaking people may even welcome âgo nonverbal nonspeakingâ or âwhen i am nonverbal nonspeaking.â
but donât be fooled into believe i only one. have many nonverbal/nonspeaking and/or higher support needs friends on tumblr, who talk about this who have been saying this for years. *years*. years before i joined. i am not creator, i only bring message here, because many of us are too high support needs too disabled to do anything else. many of us only stay on our small corner of tumblr because it most peaceful, because at least some listen, because least hostile, because need to defend our experience against our own community the least. (but it happens less doesnât mean it doesnât happen, we still exhausted.) many of us only stay on our small corner of tumblr because that all we can handle, or because we not allowed or shouldnât be on other social media because age or abilities or both.
i cannot handle conflict i do not do well and i shouldnât be here. but if not me, who else? if i donât do it, who else is going to?
some nonverbal nonspeaking people and parents of them may question, why you start debate about useless term when so many nonverbal nonspeaking people donât even have access to communicate, real problems. to that i say i do those work too. and to that i say this is real problem too, because am autistic so online actually autistic community should also be my space too but it not. but it hostile. because am lonely because seeing yourself so crucial because donât know anyone in person like me donât have any friends in person like me, so i go online to find people like me and i cannot because no own term to search and what used to be term many people without similar experience insist they understand and can speak for me because they say we have similar experience. because this aloneness and the unique difficulty from being full time nonverbal and the struggle of future and the unique mistreatment from both outside but also inside community have drove me over edge many times and it is presence and knowing their presence of my tumblr nonverbal nonspeaking / higher support needs friends that gave me hope to stay. because so many people donât listen and instead speak over. terminology only a symptom of problem. address roots, sure, but part of address roots is address symptoms.
âwell nonverbal people are never aroundâ maybe it because you donât make it welcome for us to join.
âfully nonverbal rare anywayâ estimated 30% of us nonverbal nonspeaking, which this statistic probably only count those nonverbal since birth. even more are minimally speaking or without full functional communication, abilities limited to requests. sure, 30% still not majority. but significant amount never the less. speaking lower support needs autistic without intellectual disability not majority anyway too but your experience still deserve heard. ours too.
âsee less nonverbal people because they don't have ability to communicate and use social mediaâ yes, many nonverbal nonspeaking people not given access to communication (like AAC), forced to live in silence (because body language communication not enough alone!). silence from birth to teenage years, to adulthood, even until they die. some cannot understand social media or AAC because intellectual disability or cognitive ability. some not allowed on there because safety, some not allowed on because presumed incompetent and abused. all true. do you advocate for them too? or is it just talking point against me, pretend you care?
but not all of us, we exist. some of us thankfully supportive parents all along, parents given resources, us given resources, so we access to AAC since beginning. some of us became nonverbal later in life (which not same experience as those early in life, i acknowledge). some of us after years of forced silence, finally given access to AAC and can now communicate and advocate! some of us on social media - do you listen?
but you see none of us in your community anyway. maybe one token person.
you can go nonverbal. i cannot go verbal. see difference? you can come close to my experience, but i never will have (future) ability to go to yours.
it frustrate that have to specify am nonverbal **all the time** when write this, because if donât do that will be assumed otherwise. frustrate that when in neurodivergent space stranger see me AAC they assume i can speak because they only know part time users (know part time users frustrate too because people assume they cannot speak and get surprised when they do. me being assumed automatic part time is not fault of part time AAC users.)
even been told am privileged to be nonverbal nonspeaking, privilege over speaking autistic who lose speech because in their mind it mean i get all support i need i get all recognition get all the representation. which. couldnât be farther from truth.
all that. is fraction of reason i frustrate at âgoing nonverbal nonspeakingâ and âwhen i was nonverbal nonspeaking.â
so many other words. lose speech. intermittent speech.
just want have own sub community where can find people similar experience.
#actually autistic#actuallyautistic#autism#nonverbal#nonspeaking#actually nonverbal#actually nonspeaking#nd#asd#loaf screm#long post
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never like this | eddie munson x fem!reader
Summary: your house never feels like home, but Eddie does.
Note: idk whatâs happening but Iâm on a roll guys and Iâm not going to jinx it. Enjoy some cute fluff domestic bliss and love with Eddie!! MWAH
*listened to Rachel Chinouriri- So My Darling on REPEAT while writing this*
**not edited**
The morning was still early.
The simple sounds of the mourning doveâs call and Eddieâs snoring filled your ears as you slowly woke. As you rub the sleep from your eyes, you feel the gentle grip of Eddieâs hand against your waist from your sudden movements. Heâs still asleep, his body just subconsciously making sure you were still there in his bed. Not already putting your clothes back on to go home or head to work.
Your smile softly at the thought. Kissing the closet patch of his skin that you could find. Lips meeting the ink covered skin of his arm.
The sun peeking through the tapestry covered window. Slowly but surely starting to warm the trailer from the cool night air. It never felt like this. You could see small specks of dust dancing around in the rays of sun. You hands itching to stretch out and touch as if it was something physical. Your heart felt warm and you felt safe.
You feel Eddie move from behind you. You know this isnât a small little shift in his body from sleeping. He was awake.
âYou snore in your sleep.â you whisper.
âShut up.â he grumbles against the back of your shoulder.
You snort, turning around to fully face him. His hair was all over the place and messy. His eyes squinty from just waking up and the yellow sunlight peeking into his room. Despite the sleepiness in his eyes and the annoyance in his voice from your words. He smiled at you.
A soft sleepy smile that made his eyes nearly close from how low they were in the first place.
You feel his hand that was on your waist glide up beneath his shirt you wore to sleep the night before and against your back. His hand bigger and warmer than yours as he affectionately rubs your back up and down. Melting your heart even more than it already was this morning.
âItâs never like this.â you mutter out
âHm?â
âBack home. It never feels like this.â You tell him quietly almost as if you spoke any louder Wayne would hear you all the way at his work desk.
And of the things you liked the most about Eddie; Is how attentive he is. It doesnât matter what it was, but Eddie never not paid attention to something (unless he was doing it on purpose). He read people very easily. Picked up on nonverbal cues and even when you said things that had a bigger meaning. This was one of those times.
Eddie knew what you were talking about. He didnât have to ask you to elaborate or confused on what you even meant.
Your family was well off. Like, really well off. Your parents were friends with Steve's parents. Your house being three doors down from his, heâs practically like a brother to you. Living in a three story house that came with a basement bar and an outdoor pool. A chef that would come once every two weeks to cook you food if your parents were out of town for too long. Enough money that you could probably buy out Family Video if you wanted. You would think that it would feel perfect. That there's was nothing else you could want or ever need. And it was true, you had enough. That house had everything you would need to last a year without your parents if need be. But it wasnât a home.
This was home.
Waking up in Eddieâs bed in the morning. Or getting up in the middle of the night to go use the restroom and seeing Wayne in the dimly lit kitchen when you were out. Quietly sipping on cups of hot coffee and whispering stories about the shaggy haired boy down the hall. (Wayne could only sneak and drink coffee. Ever since Eddie found out that the doctor suggested Wayne cut out caffeine for his heart. Eddie has been very strict about it.)
Home was walking over to Maxâs trailer for her to help you teach her how to skateboard as Eddie work on his van. It was sitting on the trailer steps side by side, Leaning into Eddieâs shirt stained with car grease as you share an icecream from the icecream truck. Home was crying in the shower as Eddie held you whenever you thought about nights you wished you would forget.
This was home.
Despite not elaborating on your words. You could feel the understanding in Eddieâs eyes. You could see the warm hints of pink grow on his cheeks and just a bit down his neck. His smile turns more soft and serene as he continues to watch you fidget with the bedsheet.
He knows you feel nervous, to say this out loud and in front of him. He knew you didnât want to put anything on this yet, and he would never push you. But to hear those words come out of your mouth made him feel like he would never need the formalities. To never have the âWhat are we?â talk. As long as it felt like this. As long as you kept looking at him with such adoration in your eyes. He would honestly die happy.
âSo. Is it me or is it just my bitchinâ trailer?â he mumbles. His voice is low and groggy, filled with sleep as his smile grows into a smirk.
You scoff out at laugh and roll your eyes. Turning away so your back is against his chest. The original position you were in before you woke up. You grab his hand, place it beneath your shirt and against your chest. Eddie can feel your heart beating slow and steady. A calm pace that makes his own heart flutter at the peace you feel within his presence.
What makes him nearly say the three words that would probably ruin it all is when he feels you place your hand on top of his. His heart melts as he hears you let out a deep sigh. A known indication to him that you are relaxed and more than likely will go back to sleep if you're comfortable enough.
Instead, he simply kisses your clothed shoulder. Once, twice, three times. Before letting his head fall back into the pillow and closing his eyes.
Yeah, his life didnât feel like this either.
Not without you here with him.
#eddie munson x you#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson imagine#eddie munson headcanon#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson#eddie munson fanfic#eddie munson x y/n#stranger things fic#stranger things x reader#stranger things fanfiction
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âI dare you to steal his clothesâ
Draco Malfoy and Tom Riddle
Your friend dares you to steal his clothes while heâs in the shower, obviously things donât go as plannedâŠ
Warning: smut, making out and the guys are naked
Some of you asked for Draco and Tom, Iâm sorry it took me a while, but here you go. First time writing for Tom so I hope itâs okay. For Mattheo, Theo, Blaise and Enzo: click here
You were sitting in the slytherin common room. It was late and the party was dying down but your friends refused to go to their dorms.
âTruth or dare?â Your best friend asks as they try to focus on you but theyâre clearly too drunk to manage that.
âDare.â
Your friend tries to get their brain to come up with a good dare, something fun. It is then that they see a certain slytherin holding a towel and heading for the bathroom.
Draco Malfoy
âReally? Malfoy of all people?â You mutter as you reluctantly sneak towards the door of the slytherin boys bathroom. You and him never saw eye to eye, so being dared to steal his clothes was obviously not on top of your bucket list. Though you had to admit that embarrassing him was alway fun. As soon as you enter, you spot several scattered around pieces of clothing and quietly tiptoe to them. When you grab his pants his belt makes a little too much noise.
â(Y/n)?! Is that you?â Draco spots you and instead of moving, your threat response of choice is to freeze and stay crouched down with his pants in your hands. âOf course! Loser by day, weird pervert by night.â Your lips part in shock as he accuses you of being a pervert and you immediately protest. âIf I was a pervert I wouldnât be in here with you, because thereâs probably nothing impressive to se-.â But just in that moment Draco fully steps out of the shower. With nothing left to the imagination your eyes widen and your brain shuts down. âOr maybe there is.â You mutter as you tilt your head slightly impressed. âQuit staring!â Draco snares as he searches for his towel. âQuit dangling it in front of me.â Now that Draco has finally found a towel you look away and meet his eyes. Youâre surprised to find him blushing. âYouâre not supposed to be here. Youâll be in serious trouble when I tell Snape.â He threatens.
âI was dared to do this. Are you really going to snitch on me over a stupid dare.â You roll your eyes. âFor once be reasonable, Malfoy.â You complain. âYou were dared to do what exactly? Join me in the showers? âCause if thatâs the case I won't snitch. Iâll even help.â A flirty smirk tugs on his lips as he walks towards you. You lay a hand on his chest keeping his still wet body at a distance. âNo, Iâm supposed to steal your clothes.â Draco huffs. âNot happening, darling. Iâm not walking out here in nothing but my towel.â
You look him up and down, thinking about his suggestion to join you in the showers. âHow about I offer you a deal?â You suggest and Draco just shakes his head. âThereâs nothing you can offer me that I donât already ha-â you interrupt him and his arrogance immediately falters when he feels you closing in, your fingers tracing over his chest and abdomen. âHow about my naked body pressed against yours as hot water tickles on us.â Draco stares deep into your eyes to make sure if you were being serious, because hearing you say this was something out of his fantasies.
While Draco continues staring and starts dreaming of what might happen you hook a finger behind his towel, bringing him back to planet earth. âSo?â You ask innocently as if it wasnât clear to you what he wanted. With a mix of hesitation and gentleness his lips move over yours, waiting for you to deepen it, which you happily do. As soon as he senses the passion in your kiss all doubt leaves him and his hand holds your head in place as he kisses you like itâs a nonverbal declaration of love.
While kissing, you stumble towards the shower and in the process Draco loses his towel, but thatâs just all the more convenient. Feeling his hardening member against your thighs sends a wave of pleasure to your core. When a soft whimper rolls off your lips, Draco presses his forehead against yours and admires your face. âSo fucking beautiful.â He breathes before kissing you with a loving hunger. With just barely enough self control he helps you take off your clothes before turning on the water.
***
Freshly showered and with a bright smile on your face you join your friends. âI got his clothes.â Luna cheers for you like youâve won the quidditch cup, but Hermoine just looks at your still wet hair. âDid you shower while you were there?â She finally asks, unable to put the pieces together. However, before you can answer a whistling Draco walks in with just his towel around his waist and Hermoine slowly turns her face to you. What. The. Fuck. didyoujustdo!
Tom Riddle
If it werenât for the alcohol in your system you wouldâve never accepted this dare, Tom was trouble and you knew it, but the alcohol told you that stealing his clothes was easy peasy lemon squeezy. But it really shouldnât come as a surprise that it wasnât easy peasy at all, since you couldnât spot his clothes at all. With the shower still running you decided to take the time to search a little longer. Cursing, you give up and turn around only to see a very naked and very smug looking Tom leaning against the bathroom wall.
âDidnât find what you were looking for?â How long had he been standing there? âOh, Iâm sorry. I just accidentally walked into the wrong bathroom. Sorry.â You hope your flusteredness about the awkward situation covers up for your horrible lying skills. âTook you a while to figure out youâre in the wrong bathroom.â You nod awkwardly as he shamelessly stares you down, while you do your best to avoid staring at the nude man in front of you. âYeah, but your nakedness kind of tipped me off.â You gesture to his body like he wasnât aware of the fact he wasnât wearing anything. He looks down at himself and you follow, staring a little too long at whatâs between his legs. âSee anything you like?â He questions amused as you panic and immediately look up at him. âNo.â His tongue moves inside his mouth as he wonders what he could do to someone as innocent as you. You try to look away from him, but thereâs something in his eyes that lures you back to them.
âThatâs the second lie youâve told me today.â Tom says as he moves towards you and for a moment you forget to breathe. Heâs so close to you that you can count the water droplets on his chest. You feel your heart explode with anticipation as he leans in. At the last moment he moves away from your lips to your ear. âTry not to lie a third time.â He whispers and you feel your knees get weak. âDo you want my clothes for your silly dare? Or do you want me to fuck you?â You feel a wave of excitement rush through your body as you see a spark of sweet desire in Tomâs eyes.
âHonestlyâŠâ You breathe out clearly under the influence of your hormones. Tomâs eyes are glued to your body, filled with hunger, as he traces every inch of it, longing for you. âBoth.â You say, not lying this time. Tom forces a smile as heâs not too pleased with your answer. âThen let me make the choice easy for you.â His harsh tone is the only warning you get before he pushes you against the cold tiles. The kiss is messy but wonderful and your hand finds its way to his hair as he traces sloppy kisses down to your neck. With one rough movement he picks you up and you wrap your legs tightly around him. His hips moving into yours has your panties soaking and he knows it. âStill interested in that game you were playing with your friends?â
âNo. I like your game better.â You breathe out, feeling his hand slide up your legs under your skirt. âGood, smart girl.â You throw your head back and Tom pushes your panties to the side, sliding through your folds a few times before pushing in a finger. Your moans quickly fill the room.
***
You join your friends. âSorry, I got a little distracted.â You try to sound casual but with everyoneâs eyes on you you canât help but get flustered. âDonât bother lying, we all heard you scream his name over and over again.â Your eyes widen and you chuckle nervously. When Tom walks in, he quickly figures out why youâre all flustered. So he stops by you. âNo need to be embarrassed, I loved the sound of your voice.â His suggestive whisper has you biting your lip and squeezing your thighs as your thoughts return to your previous activities. Maybe time to return to your room. Or his?
#slytherin#slytherin boys#draco malfoy x reader#draco malfoy imagine#draco malfoy#tom riddle#tom riddle x reader#tom riddle imagine#papercorgiworldwritings
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*average self-proclaimed safe space tumblr blog voice* I soooooo support people with schizophrenia that must be so hard to you anyway I just saw some weird looking woman talking to herself right outside my house im fearing for my life should I call the cops. Yeah dude I support all the adhd havers in the chat just try to pay attention when I talk to you it's not that hard it's like the least you could do to show some regard for the other human being in front of you. Like it's fine to have memory problems but why did you forget this one thing in particular that was important to me do you like not care or anything you should try harder. I am one of the only real mental health advocates to still exist in this world I hear your struggles that being said I hope I never get to meet one of those irl sociopaths or people with aspd whatever they call them now they're so freaky and they can blend into society so well you might never know if you're actually face to face with an actual socio i mean person with aspd in the store absolutely one of my biggest fears what if they torture me in their basement. I absolutely empathize with all the people in here suffering from delusions as long as they like, don't actually show it or have one concerning me that'd be highkey uncomfy leave me out of this dude im not talking to you until you get help, anyway my fav character from my anime just presumably died but i still think they actually survived im sooo delulu lol. We should push for more wheelchair accessibility in our cities I agree but like it's so difficult to tell how many people are actually disabled and who are actually faking it, like, ummm why did that "wheelchair" "user" guy stand up just now cover blown lmaooâŠ. Yeah I support people with facial differences but I still have a right to be disgusted you can't control my emotions anyway can you tag your selfies as #body horror this deeply triggering to me. Speaking of triggering can you also pleaseee hide your scars or at least warn us beforehand jesus do you know how many people genuinely do not want to see it. Here is my extremely fast strobing lights and flashing gifset #epilepsy. Yeah I loveee girls with bpd beautiful princess disorder am i right they're so interesting the stigma sucksssss i'd love to get to be one's favourite person as long as they don't actually have any of those weird or violent symptoms or don't go into any of their "episodes" near me like that's a bit dramaticâŠ.. I deeply feel for those who had underwent narcissistic abuse from the hands of an npd I think my shitty ex boyfriend was a narcissist too tbh #surviving narcissism here are 10 signs you are dealing with a narcissist and here's a tutorial on how to trigger a narc crash to epically own them anyway does anyone else think we should start enforcing mandatory castration of all the newly diagnosed narcs like you know what happens when they reproduce right. But I am willing to support them as long as they go to therapy to get that fixed it's just you know. Anyway sometimes hospitalisation is fine if they're genuinely a danger to themselves like what do you want them to go live on the streets or actually get help?? I support all the people dealing with being a professionally diagnosed disordered system and I think it's sooooo terrible how literally 99% of the youth population nowadays is purposefully faking it for attention I did my research (1 minute google search, 2 minute r/fakedisordercringe scrolling session and consulting a single system that agrees with me). It's just not believable to me that there's really that many people with it isn't it supposed to be rare⊠Also are we really sure all those alleged people in their heads are really real or just their imagination maybe all of them are actually faking it huh food for thought. I am very uncomfortable with nonverbal high support needs ppl actually having sex like consent is supposed to be explicitly verbal only and, are we really sure they can even consent arent they like basically children. You can't call me ableist I'm literally autistic
#mine#actually autistic#actually npd#actually plural#ableism#sanism#npd stigma#bpd stigma#pluralmisia#<- gonna add on to these later i am. bad at tagging warnings#i needed this off my chest like. can these people stop#dont know how comprehensible this is im bad at articulating myself#long post
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Toronto and Ireland (Part 2)- Ireland Stops
The Ireland stops were absolutely magic and my favorite of the tour! They were the stops that confirmed to me that this relationship between L/N wasn't just work besties who had a lot of sexual chemistry. This was a relationship with a lot of depth and intimacy, and would (probably) be very serious. I am going to talk about the specific parts during Ireland that led me to this conclusion, because there were just too many things that happened in Dublin/Galway to go over everything (but feel free to send me an Ask if you want me to talk about something in particular during Ireland that I don't cover here). I'm going to say a few of my general thoughts/comments about the Ireland stops first:
I believe that L/N went directly to Ireland from Toronto (please correct me if I am wrong?), and that energy from Toronto spilled over and peaked in Ireland, which resulted in heightened emotions in Ireland. I think their emotions were also heightened because the tour was coming to an end, and it was like a homecoming for N.
I think PART of the reason we saw the type of behavior and body language from L in Ireland is because L knew how meaningful these particular stops were for N, and he was just kind of in awe/inspired/mesmerized by how people were responding to them (but particularly to her).
L/N basically interacted the whole time like they were a FREAKING COUPLE đ
Like it was BLATANTLY OBVIOUS from their nonverbal cues and how they were talking (imo). I don't think they ACTUALLY were , but it was just VERY interesting considering the energy from Toronto (if that makes sense)đ€
Alright, I am now going to analyze particular parts from the Ireland stops (going to go chronologically):
The Freaking Head Rub (Dublin):
Posting 2 TTs because this was by far the most WTF moment for me on the tour (I have like 6 edits of this clip saved on TT đ) So let's dive into this gem:
I'm going to start by saying this. THIS đ WAS đ THE đ MOST đ OBVIOUS đ SLIPUP đ ON đ THE đ TOUR đ They got caught. Period. It was obvious this type of intimate behavior is normal for them.
Now the act itself could be written off as just a kind gesture. But below is why it blew up:
1) It was CRAZY intimate. L leaned in (like she does this all the time), he closed his eyes, she gingerly rubbed his forehead (I still don't exactly know what she was getting out of his face--hair, lent, she just wanted to touch her man him, idk? đ), the man made a little MOANNN/PURRRR in the middle of the head rub, and then N gently carressed his cheek to signal that he looked good now (again, like she DOES THIS ALL THE TIME). 2) Then the interviewer made an impromptu "Oh" right after he made the soft moan because she was taken aback and was like WTF IS HAPPENING. She tried to correct and make a little joke about the carriage scene (which coincidentally is what they were talking about in that moment) to try and ease the awkwardness of the situation, but the interviewer was totally unprepared for that little moment. 3) L made a little side-eye look at the interviewer after she went "Oh" because he realized he got lost in the moment and how intimate it was, and was like OH S**T. 4) N BLUSHES and shyly laughs (our PR queen who is VERY aware that the public analyzes everything she does) 5) L/N try to laugh it off and say that N does things like THIS to people all the time (but you could tell they were both embarrassed/flustered, especially L, BECAUSE THEY GOT CAUGHT/SLIPPED UP) 6) And they did all of that RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE of one of the interview questions đ
L/N tried to come up with a lame-o excuse when they were asked about it during the London premiere, but you could tell that they really had no good explanation, because it just kind of happened and they got caught on camera. The intimacy of this moment goes wayyy beyond work besties, and I think they knew that, and there was obviously no way they were going to go there with that interviewer on the London red carpet (but they also couldn't deny it happened because it's on camera, so L got a little defensive and N came up with that silly response about getting lent off people, which wasn't even what was happening in that moment đđ).
I have NEVER seen anything quite like this before in the middle of a daytime interview of this nature, and the moment still makes me go WHATTTT JUST HAPPENED. It is THE moment that I decided 100% that L/N's relationship wasn't just friendship. That moment served as a very tiny, candid glimpse of how they are in private, and that's how I knew. Simple as that. "Work besties"... sure Jan đ
Why they let that level of intimacy slip on camera, we will never know. I feel strongly that it probably had a lot to do with N's guard being wayyy down due to the heightened feelings I previously mentioned, and just that they were HAPPY. I definitely don't think they wanted that on camera though, but I think it speaks VOLUMES N did this publicly. N does have a tendency to be very touchy with people, and she had picked/wiped things off of L before on the tour. But NOTHING like this though. N was sending a message (just my opinion though).
Dublin Red Carpet Event/Screening
Side note before I get to my thoughts. This was my FAVORITE outfit of theirs on the tourđ„â€ïž They reminded me of a couple in a Tim Burton movie (ex: Johnny Depp and Winona Rider in Edward Scissorhands). It was just sublime *chef's kiss*
I just loved this red carpet event!! EVERYTHING about it:
The way all the fans were looking so lovingly at how LUKE and NICOLA were interacting with each other
The way L was constantly looking for N when they weren't together (and every time he looked at her (particularly when she wasn't aware) he was just GLOWING AT HER đ)
The way they checked each other out when they finally came together đ„
How L kept checking in with N and was so in tune with her because he knew how emotionally overwhelming and meaningful this was for her
How he decided to wear only Irish designers for the Irish stops to honor her (that might not have actually been his choice, but it was really sweet he mentioned it regardless)
How happy he was that this outfit was N's favorite of his on the tour. L cares sooo much about what she thinks about him, no one can tell me otherwise đđ
The way you could tell L got upset when that interviewer during the Dublin screening said that comment about N being so "brave" (in relation to her body), and how in awe he was with N's effing amazing response
This red carpet event/screening reaffirmed to me just how much L admires/loves/adores/respects N. Like there is real emotional depth behind his eyes when he looks at her, like she is the moon, the sun, and the stars. Like he just looks and interacts with her like she's his person, his đŠïž (for the Friends' fans in the group lol). Obviously, some of what we saw during this red carpet event was probably due to the heightened emotions of everything that I mentioned at the beginning of this post. However, L/N were so in tune with each other and just glowing during this event (it was palpable), and it made my heart so happy đ
Galway/L Meeting N's Family
Galway was just something else. Let's talk first a little bit about some things leading up to Galway:
N and L brought up multiple times in Dublin about how excited they were for L to meet her family (particularly her mom who N is really close to). And this excitement seemed VERY genuine based on their body language and how they were talking about it.
N brought up a few times about how excited her mom was to meet L (I talk a little about that/her mom's thoughts on L in my post here).
I think it was just very telling by how they were talking about this introduction that it was a BIG deal for both of them (and everyone involved). Whyyyy... well because (I believe) they are going to be seeing a LOT more of Luke Newton in the future đ
So this is how I came to this conclusion. First, these are the main things that really stood out to me from the introduction that signaled to me this was not just someone introducing her work bestie to her family:
Their nonverbal cues on the screening stage signaled to me that there were BIG feelings between L/N about her family being there (I couldn't tell you what feelings exactly, but I would guess it was a mixture of nervousness, excitement, happiness, etc.)
The WAY L was sooooo in tune with her during this screening presentation because he knew how overwhelming this all was for her. And he appeared hyper-aware that her family was there, and it appeared to me from his body language and behavior that he was very self-conscious and trying to make the BEST first impression on her family
The WAY N asked L to come meet her mom. I have like a lot to say about this little moment because I think it speaks VOLUMES. 1) L is kind of distracted talking to some fans, but N is laser focused on her family and not really paying any attention to the fans (I'm sure she was very eager to go greet her mom, but she stayed glued to him (it read as VERY connected body language wise) and she was obviously not going to go until he went with her) 2) She then gently puts her hand on his arm and asked him to come meet her mom 3) He redirected his attention to her and happily said yes 4) He turned back to the fans to say goodbye, and N was already very gently guiding him away towards her mom 5) He and her were a unit in this moment, this introduction was going to happen as a unit 6) This whole interaction just SCREAMED of two people who have an intimate relationship and are very comfortable with each other (again, the nonverbal cues đ)
She gives her mom a very heartfelt and teary hello, and then her mom holds her arms out like "Luke come here." and N is like oh yeah "Big moment big moment" and L (who has repeatedly said he's not a big fan of hugs) comes over and gives her mom a BIG hug and is just BEAMING. And the whole crowd goes wild lol -> He also tells her mom "Thank you for being so kind (OR making her (N) so kind đ). I'll see you after. We'll spend some time"'
There is too much to list in regards to the body language of everyone involved in this moment, but it speaks VOLUMES that this was a highly anticipated introduction and a major moment for everyone. I would recommend, if you haven't, going back and looking over how N's brother and SIL react to this introduction, it is PARTICULARLY telling.
And the cherry on top is that when her mom turns away to go back to her seat after the hug, she does this little approving nod to whoever she was sitting by like "Yup, he's a good one. I like him for her." đđ
Final thoughts on this introduction/Ireland in general/miscellaneous:
That family introduction was absolutely WILD...Now even if her family had decided not to go to the Galway screening, I am almost certain L would have stayed around that weekend and hung out with her family regardless. Why... Because (like I have mentioned a few times on this blog) I think they know what they have, and I think they legit see a future with each other if they can figure things out. And I think they discussed a lot of this during the tour, which is why we saw what we saw with the introduction. I am almost certain they would not have had the emotions they did to this family introduction if they werenât serious about being in each otherâs lives for the foreseeable future.
Also, this family introduction was personal (for them, not for usâAKA not PR). I think we just got lucky that we got to be a small part of this wholesome/genuine moment because Nâs family made the decision to go to the public Galway screening where a bunch of fans would be able to record them. That 100% wasnât coordinated or calculated by N or the press people.
Now she might have been lying, but I personally believe N when she said in one of those London radio interviews about L/N staying in Galway during the weekend with her family to ârecuperateâ before the premiere. They both talked in London about how they spent time with her family after the screening, N's BIL tried to get L drunk, N (not so subtly) implying how her mom had VERY positive thoughts on L after meeting him, etc. Again, I think this speaks VOLUMES on where L/N were at emotionally at this point.
If we go on the understanding that N is jaded about romantic relationships and really private about this part of her life, having to navigate all these big new feelings for someone on a public stage was probably INCREDIBLY challenging (for both of them tbh). It was probably made even more complicated by the fact that they HAD to play up the romantic vibes to promote the show, which made people ship them like crazy (which was super easy to do because there are real feelings between them). And I think they didn't quite realize HOW obvious they had been about their feelings, but are in NO way going to go public with these feelings right now (if they are indeed working on their relationship). Why? Because it would destroy their relationship at this point in time. However, I think they gave us SOO many crumbs (Ireland being the most obvious imo) that there is real deep love and attraction for each other. For me, if it looks like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it's a duck đ
Here are my final thoughts to tie up my timeline theories on the PR tour. I personally believe the PR tour forced them to address big feelings for each other that they had been avoiding for a while. Their feelings were reciprocated. They physically acted on their feelings at various points of the tour. They had a lot of conversations in private and determined their strong feelings and attraction went past the show and their characters, and determined they wanted to move forward and figure out what their romantic feelings for each other meant. They emotionally became a lot more connected BTS, and I think they were starting to have more conversations about a POTENTIAL serious future with each other. This led to more obvious nonverbal cues that signaled there was more confidence, intimacy, and security between them, and then it culminated in the absolute goldmine that was Ireland. However, the whole situation is quite complicated because of the whole A of it all. I completely acknowledge that she is still in his life, and they are still involved in some sort of capacity. I talked about my thoughts on that though here. Therefore, I feel like they just need time in private to cook and figure everything out away from the spotlight. L/N gave us soooo many clues though on how they were feeling about each other BTS while they were on the PR tour, and if you put them all together, it tells quite the story imo đ
#lukola#ireland#galway girl#best Hometowns' date I've ever seen#I WILL NEVER FORGET THAT HEAD RUB đ#timelines#lukola theories
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Dealer!remus and autistic!readerâs relationship starts off so rocky guys let me tell you!!! Angst to fluff
Remus doesnât fully get that he canât just say things- like heâs got to be deliberate and conscious of the words he uses and his tone.
Heâs never had to do that before so itâs weird and itâs hard to learn and he slips up sometimes.
One of your biggest arguments happens when heâs frustrated and youâre just trying to help.
Youâd seen him so sullen and moody on Jamesâ story so you decided to do for him, what you do for yourself.
You baked.
But then you realized youâre not at the stage where you know his absolute favourite type of cookie so you go a little all out.
You bake chocolate chip biscoff cookies. Chocolate chip toffee cookies, regular chocolate chip and brown butter chocolate chip.
You set them in a cute box and you text Remus that youâre coming to see him. Youâre thinking everythingâs going to go well, youâre gonna drop the cookies off for him, maybe heâs going to tell you whatâs bugging him- maybe not; either way he wonât be alone.
Except you get there and immediately you feel like youâre inconveniencing him.
Try as you might not to take it personally, itâs really hard because he seems particularly peeved at you.
âWhy are you here?â His tone is sharp and jagged and it winds you a little.
âI brought you cookies to cheer you up. Saw that you werenât yourself on Jamesâ story,â you keep your tone even, light- a practiced thing from your days of dealing with people that didnât quite get you.
âWhy would that cheer me up?â At this point everythingâs going downhill fast and you try to salvage what little is left of your deflated cheeriness and open up the box to display the array of cookies.
Remus at the same time waves his hand and the box goes pitching across his living room floor and he explodes.
You canât remember the last time someone had yelled at you like that and honestly, it hurt more coming from Remus who was so normally relaxed and chilled.
You donât even tell him goodbye, you just clean up all the mess while heâs cursing and yelling and then leave.
Whatâs twists the bloodied blade in the wound is that he doesnât even try to stop you or reach out to you for three days.
By which point youâve already gone mostly nonverbal and youâre in no mood to entertain or fake a personality for the sake of your friends when you do see them.
Remus stops at your house after you ignore three invitations to his place.
âDove, I know youâre at home. Can you open the door please?â His voice is muffled through the hard wood of the door and you have half a kind to leave it shut- heâd been mean, heâd said things that were very hurtful now that youâve actually processed what heâs said fully.
You donât know if you can stand to see him. Then he knocks again, âI want to look at you when I apologise, sweet girl. Please open the door.â And the wholesale remorse in his tone shakes your core and you cave.
He steps inside with a box and three tulips. âI figured Iâd have had to do it face to face for it to really mean anything and because I realized I was an absolute prick to you when you just came over to help.â
You donât even hum. Usually, when he was nice Remus- as youâve differentiated in your head - youâd be able to look him in the eyes every couple of words, but right now you just look over his shoulder.
âI shouldnât have yelled or sworn at you like that. It wasnât cool and I never want to speak to you like that- ever. I was an idiot and I just want to make up for it.â
Thereâs about a minute where Remus thinks heâs just fucked every single bit of progress youâve both made with each other and then you let out a big breath.
âYou canât say things that you donât mean just because youâre upset. What you said really hurt my feelings and I donât like feeling the way you made me feel when you were that angry. If we continue to be friends you canât do that because it makes it hard for me to trust you and find what youâre saying believable.â
Your voice is hoarse and crackly from lack of use and Remus feels even worse. âIâll do better, I swear. It wasnât my intention to hurt you- itâll never be, but I am sorry that I did.â
You nod once, succinct and definitive. Remus holds out the box to you, showing a puzzle youâd been eyeing for a while.
âCan we build it together?â He asks softly, an ebb of vulnerability given away as you catch his eyes.
âOkay, but we have to do corners first, then work our way in.â Remus nods, his other hand holding the flowers for you. The tulips are a pristine white.
âThe lady at the shop said theyâre good for conveying apologies.â
You smile a little, âThese ones are also for condolences.â Remus shakes his head,
âNot this time,â he watches you put them in a vase of water. âAlso, âif we continue to be friendsâ, thought we were a little closer than friends, sweet girl?â
He relishes in the way you bite your lip to hide your grin as you take the puzzle box from him and set it up on your coffee table.
âWell I wasnât sure if you wanted to acknowledge it or not.â
Remus says very seriously as he sits opposite you at the coffee table, ducking down so he can catch your eyes as you take out the numbered bags. âIâm always acknowledging it, weâre more than friends dove. When everythingâs not so fucked, Iâll take you out and do it with pink and red lilies.â
#remuslupin#remus lupin#remus lupin one shot#remus lupin fanfiction#remus lupin fluff#remus lupin drabble#remus lupin blurb#remus lupin imagine#remus lupin fic#remus lupin x you#remus lupin x yn#remus lupin x reader#remus lupin x black!reader#remus lupin angst#dealer!remus lupin#dealer!remus#tismđ€
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(ID in alt)
Was really frustrated with this, and debated on fighting with this person, but Iâm not going too. Instead, Iâm going to use it as a talking point.
Do yâall even seriously read my posts? Do yâall even seriously know the DSM5 criteria? Do yâall even talk to high support needs people?
You CANNOT be level 3 and live independently. Thatâs not how it works. You wouldnât be diagnosed with level 3 autism. Now Iâm not saying this person was never diagnosed with level 3 autism. A lot of people are diagnosed with level 3 autism and then later in life their support needs get lower. They were still diagnosed level 3. However, they no longer meet the criteria for level 3 autism and should be reassessed to be assigned a new accurate level. Some are even misdiagnosed with level 3 if they happen to be nonverbal/nonspeaking. That happens too.
I feel like yâall seriously do not even google anything. Level 3 is characterized by needing âvery substantial supportâ. That means the person needs support, very substantially. They need support all day everyday. Thatâs level 3 autism.
Yâall donât care about level 3s. Yâall donât care about high support needs autistic people and it shows because if you did then youâd listen to them and do the research. Youâd do the quick google search. Youâd do the quick search in the DSM5. Youâd listen to them!! Stop being pricks. Stop being stupid. Just listen.
Yâall donât understand, and not even I understand what it means to be high support needs. When you need someone to wipe your own ass. When every caregiver and support worker knows every private thing about you. You donât know that. Stop acting like you support them if you canât even begin to try and understand.
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Important Announcement
TL;DR - WE ARE *NOT* DOING THIS.
A few hours after I posted this, a woman named Avery (I don't remember her blog) reblogged it, talking about how this wasn't a good idea. I reached out to her, and she said that, in her experience, this sort of thing does not work and will result in TERF/radfem posts being shown to Tumblr followers if those tags are used.
I really, really hate that there isn't a direct way of getting rid of the massive TERF problem on this site, and that staff don't respond to transphobic posts being reported for harassment. So far, at best, it seems to come back to blocking transphobes and filtering out their tags - or, as Avery put it, "lack of engagement is poison in [modern Internet]" (or something like that).
I am going to save this version of the post, and tag everyone who was going to do the tag flood, to alert them not to do this. And to all of the people in the reblogs who said that this was a bad idea, thank you for cutting it down before anything happened.
Reblogs will be turned off tomorrow, so that people have a chance to delete their posts or to see this update if they need to. I am NOT going to delete this post, so that no one repeats this mistake. The original post will be under the cut.
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Reblog to spread the word!
Image description in alt text. Feel free to screenshot and repost this image in case it gets taken down ;)
EDIT: The image says September. That is not correct. The right date is August.
#trans#transgender#transmasc#transfem#transfemme#lgbt#lgbtq#nonbinary#queer#trans tag flood#enby#I added as many tags as I could think of#lgbt+#lgbtq+
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some headcanons about dating timeskip!Kenma please!!
thank you Anon, I would absolutely love to share some stuff about this beautiful boy~ As always, feel free to send any other requests you got, Iâll be more than happy to share my thoughts~
status: unedited
word count: 1.4k (damn thatâs the most Iâve written in a hot minute)
warnings: cursing, pure fluff, mentions of weed, crackfick a little suggestive? Idk man Iâm sleepy
wrote this instead of studying for my physics final examđ
đ©”Aged Up Kenma Headcannonsđ©”~
Ok first off we gotta get the basic facts down. This boy may be sweet as sugar, but heâs also one lazy mother fucker. And For the most part, Iâd say that he really doesnât change much from when he was a kid. The most I can say about him, is he definitely is a lot more confident being in front of people, ( I mean thatâs kinda his job now, but bear with me) and has become less awkward around people. Very different from when he first met Hinata, he can actually hold a good and relaxed conversation now. Thatâs not to say he isnât introverted anymore, (he definitely still would rather be at home) but he is more confident in himself to be able to actually be able to engage with someone. Is he gonna go out of his way to talk to someone? Hell no, but he can at least handle being approached without overthinking and triggering his anxiety.
This definitely also translates to his relationship with you. You still will have be the one who makes the first move, or at least initiating conversations.
But one things for sure, once he likes you, he loves you. Like wanting to wife you up regardless of gender. And I feel like, (later on in the relationship ofc) if you ever had kids, he would be the best most present dad ever. Like he wouldnât be a house husband, (his YouTube gig is completely paying for your mortgage) but because the majority of what he does has him, stream for like an hour, go on call for a few minutes, or just edit his videos for a bit, he would be able to make a lot of time for any and all children he has. But thatâs way later on in the relationship.
Once heâs comfortable in the relationship with you, I can definitely see him involving you in his content. Not like a whole boyfriend and girlfriend couples channel, but like a once a year âreacting to fucked up shit with my girlâ type beat.
And since weâre on the subject of content, <<<<<<<<
Like imagine having the most shitty day possible and you come home to your boyfriend streaming COD or some shit. You just face-plant into the bed next to him and he snaps his head towards you.
âshit baby you good?â he asks as he raises an eyebrow, looking at you concerned as you mumble angrily. He recognizes the nonverbal gestures and just pats his lap with a quick, âcâmere baby,â and hugs you, letting you muzzle your face into his neck away from the camera, and wrapping a fluffy blanket around you, before he kisses you head and say, âgimme ten more minutes to finish this and weâll order some takeout k?â. He gives you the most sincere and adorable smile ever sending butterflies not only to you, but all his fans watching, as he smiles and goes back to playing like nothing happened, the chat going wilddddddd. (My gay ass heart go brrrrrr)
I know for a fact that somewhere out there in haikyuu internet, there is a corny ass edit of yâall doing that shit, trust. (I need to keep my slang outta here man đ)
ok, getting off the sidetrack, kenma is still like rlly introverted. Like his ideal date is just sitting at home watching some cheesy studio ghibi movie (His favorite is the boy and the heron, fight me on that, itâs the hill Iâm willing to die on.)
If not some cute Disney movie, I also feel like heâd be into like some mystery or like not quite horoscope stuff. Like I feel like he would really be into Wednesday. If he had to watch an actual horror movie, I feel like Iâd be like some of the older ones like scream or Nightmare on elm street type shit.
Speaking of scream, I feel like at least once yall would have to do the ghostface couples costume thing. Like I feel like this would just suit him so well. Idk my brains just going feral on it right now. (This was supposed to have a link attached, but it kept fuckin up and Iâm to lazy to deal with it so just look it up, the couples version, itâs hot af)
aside from the specific stuff that I know people hate reading, the next thing you gotta know about this version of kenma is he is a TEASE. Like not even like an NSFW type tease. Just like a âheâs an ass but I love him.â Like when he was younger I feel like he was too nervous and flustered to point that kinda stuff out. But now? Man is a menace and a half. The type of dude to be like, âI have no idea how your ass fits in those shorts. Oh no, youâre not taken them off now~â or like the most basic annoying shit like bro fuck off and let me cuddle you in peace without being annoying. Like, heâd be like, â damn someoneâs neady today~ you tryna fuck me in front of everyone?â Like bro stfu Iâm just tryna cuddle. Either that or heâd call you clingy for returning the affection he initiated. Like bro, quit being a lil bitch and let me be happy you butt muffin.
Man is putting full pussy into annoying you. Heâs the type of guy to call you the most vile, disgusting, cringe ass nicknames, specifically to piss you off. You need him to take out the trash? âYes my Pookie Wookie McSmoo Moo bear~â *gags while writing this* Youâre yelling at him for some stupid thing, âI sorry my sugar booger~.â
Yeah this part is real OOC, and I was gonna write more but I physically cannot bring myself to do it so anyway, his other 3 favorite things to annoy you by calling you is, Cutesie Poopsie, Shnookums, and side piece #2. (Bro I just gave myself the ick)
Beige flags aside, he does have some green ones . For example, heâs a fabulous listener. Like, you just wanna rant and yell about your day? Câmere babes, he already got fluffy blankets, stuffies, and fluffy socks at the ready. You just wanna cry in piece? Looks like his lap has a vacant spot, he can play games and scratch your head at the same time. #bbgtreatment (regardless of gender. If tumblr has taught me anything itâs that nobody is to thug to be bbg, can I get an amen?đ )
The more comfortable he is with you, the more he will make jokes, but in the most monotone voice ever. Like you could be ranting to your bestie on the phone like, âI forgot my umbrella at work⊠yeah Iâm soaked,â and you just hear him from his corner calmly shouting âthatâs what she said,â not even turning away from his game, as if it was natural to him. Itâs always so easy to talk with him, unless itâs about his problems, but we ainât gon talk about that rn, Iâm feeling too fluffy.
There is one thing that I absolutely have to address for this man though. The average female height in my country is 5â4. And Kenma is only 5â6. Chances are, heâs not gonna be towering over you or nothing. Especially if you a tall specimen like me. (AFAB but gender is a construct yolo on those hoes). So chances are, this mf is for a fact, stealing your clothes. No article of clothing is safe. Hoodie? Sorry boo he got cold streaming. T-shirt? None of his were clean. Miniskirt? Onlyfans- He was pulling a Gojo sorry đ
Tbh I donât see him ever really having a wedding, or really ever getting married. Too much social interaction and attention on him. Gross. The most I can see him doing is, one night while yâall smoking pot or something, being like âyo wanna get married?â He wants to be with you forever without the government getting involved, but hey, times are tough, and marriage helps with tax returns. So yâall just kinda go to the courthouse, get it done, then fly off to some place to elope.
in all Kenma is just a great loyal guy, who is the biggest pain in your ass, but the biggest cutie patootie this side of the nuthouse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ hope yâall enjoyed, this was so fun to write, if you liked this and want more content like this make sure to request and check out my other stuff. Love yâall bastards, Thots and Enby Hotsđ©”
#haikyuu#haikyuu x reader#nekoma#nekoma x reader#haikyuu fluff#haikyuu fanfiction#haikyu x reader#haikyuu headcanons#hq kenma#kenma kozume#kenma x reader#kenma kuzoume x reader#kenma fluff#nekoma headcannons#aged up characters#timeskip haikyuu#X reader#crack fic#kenma#bread#reqs open
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stanford pines x reader
Look Me in the Eye
summary: based on a daisy jones and the six scene! a one shot in which ford comes home from a crazy night with bill, pushing you to your limit
warnings: a slap from reader to ford. gender neutral reader! this one shot came from a chapter of my actual oc story about ford but i made it gender neutral x reader because iâm so proud of this scene.
word count: 4.4k
With Fiddleford back home for Thanksgiving and the portal on a brief hiatus, youâd think Ford would take that chance to be home. But he doesnât; he keeps working. So, you decide to try and get some work done too. Writing hasnât come easy, though.
Ford is God knows where, and youâre sitting at your piano, staring at the keys, waiting for the words to come. At this point, a part of you has accepted that the Ford you married is somewhere deep in the back of his brain. He said he would do better, but he hasnât. You think back to your cousin and how you swore that you wouldnât let yourself end up like thatâin a small town with a deadbeat partner and a baby.
The only thing you donât have out of those things is a baby, which you donât want. When you were younger, you always saw yourself having kids. But when you marry a human, itâs a little strange to think about. Itâs unknown if you could even have kids together. There were legends back home about two humans in the demon realm, and one of them married and had a baby with a witch.
You do a mini birth control spell that youâre not even sure works. Well, itâs worked so farâyou havenât gotten pregnant yet. Ford wouldnât give a damn about a baby anyway, so why even put it at the forefront of your mind? And youâre fine without kids. Youâre not one of those people who craved kids their whole life and dreamed about what life with children would look like.
You always assumed it would happen if it happened. And with Ford, itâs not happening. These past few months have proven that more than ever because heâs rarely home. The way most couples go out to dinner at the end of a long day, you and Ford go out to breakfast two or three times a week. But heâs usually trying to hide the fact that heâs rushing to get back to work.
His attempt at spending time with you is noted but not necessarily accepted.
The door creaks open, and you hear the unsteady shuffle of Fordâs footsteps before you see him. He stumbles into the room, shirtless, his hair a tangled mess, eyes glassy, and reeking of alcohol. He stands there in the doorway, looking at you with a mix of shame and regret, unable to meet your gaze for long. He tries to speak, but the words fumble out, barely coherent.
âFord,â you breathe, your voice wavering between anger and concern. You step closer to him, looking at how droopy and tired his eyes look. âWhat happened to you?â
âI⊠I know Bill took it too far this time, but it doesnât⊠it doesnât mean anything. Itâs notââ Heâs almost nonverbal, his normally sharp mind dulled by the alcohol and Billâs lingering influence. When you see new tattoos on his body, you lose it.
âWhat the fuck do you think youâre doing, Ford? What the fuck is wrong with you?â You demand. He doesnât even look at you; his mind is completely somewhere else. Itâs as if Ford isnât even in there right now.
Before he can respond, you close the distance between you, and your hand connects with his face in a swift, stinging slap. Given that youâre smaller than him, it doesnât do much other than make him look at you. Ford looks at you, stunned, his hand moving slowly to his cheek where your slap left its mark and a slight stinging pain.
âYou come home like this,â you say, your voice breaking as tears well up in your eyes. âAfter everything, you think you can just brush it off? You think you can say it doesnât mean anything and thatâs supposed to be enough?â
Fordâs lips tremble, his eyes filled with a mix of guilt and sorrow. He wants to tell you how sorry he is, how much he hates himself for what heâs become, but the words wonât come.
âWhat happened to the man I married?â you continue, your voice softer now, though no less pained. âWhereâs the Ford who would move mountains for me, who promised weâd get through anything together? Because thisâŠâ You gesture at him, tears finally spilling over. âThis isnât the man I fell in love with.â
Fordâs eyes fill with tears, his heart breaking at the sight of your pain. He knows heâs the cause, knows that heâs pushed you to the edge, but he still canât let go of the work, of the promises he made to Bill. But none of that matters nowânot when he sees how much heâs hurting you.
âIâm so sorry,â he whispers, his voice raw with emotion. âI⊠itâs Bill, but Iââ
âSo, who do I blame?â you ask, and he doesnât have an answer. âWho the fuck do you think you are, acting like this? You come home from doing God knows what, God knows where, and have the nerve to try to defend Bill? After all of this bullshit, you still think heâs someone worth putting up with?â
You look at him, your anger slowly giving way to a deep, aching sadness. You still love himâGod, you love him so muchâbut this version of Ford, the one whoâs been consumed by his work and Billâs influence, is breaking your heart piece by piece.
âI love you, Ford. I love you so much it hurts, but I canât keep doing this. I canât keep watching you destroy yourself⊠and us.â Your voice trembles as you take a step back, the space between you feeling like a chasm.
âPlease⊠I donât want to lose you. I love you more than anything. Iâm sorry.â Ford reaches out to you, desperation in his eyes.
You hesitate, looking at the man you married, the one youâve been trying to hold on to, but you canât shake the fear that heâs already slipping away.
âYouâre losing me, Stanford.â You shake your head as another tear falls, and itâs like everything comes bubbling over all at once.
Ford reaches out, desperate to close the distance between you, but you step back, gently pushing him away. Your hands, though soft against his chest, carry the weight of all the anger and hurt youâve been holding in.
âGo take a shower, Ford,â you say, your voice trembling but firm. âIâm not going to talk to you again until you do.â
Your words hit him like a cold splash of reality. He can see the resolve in your eyes, the line youâre drawing in the sand. Youâre not just angry; youâre doneâat least for now. Ford hesitates, wanting to say something, anything to make this right, but the look on your face tells him that words wonât fix this. Not this time.
He nods, defeated, and turns away, heading for the bathroom. The sound of the door closing behind him feels like a finality heâs not ready to face. He lingers for a moment, his hand resting on the doorknob, hoping youâll say somethingâanythingâto stop him from leaving the room. But you donât.
As he steps into the shower, the hot water cascades over him, washing away the grime and sweat from the night, but it does nothing to ease the weight on his chest. He leans against the tiled wall, water mingling with the tears heâs been holding back.
His heart breaks. He knew after every other little crack in your relationship that this was coming. But nothing couldâve made him ready for the day you finally snapped. And he knows you donât believe he loves you as much as he does, which kills him.
Meanwhile, you watch him disappear into the bathroom, your heart heavy with the love you still feel for him, mixed with the deep-seated pain of watching him spiral. You turn on your heel, walking away, needing the space to gather yourself before you can even think about facing him again. As you move through your home, every room feels colder and emptier, and you canât shake the fear that the warmth you once shared might be slipping away for good.
After all that, you feel like you need a shower too. You canât believe you said all that and exploded. It felt like it was a long time coming and this was the final straw. His coming home like that, completely shameless, made you feel an anger you hadnât felt before. Anger because you always said you could do better than your family, but heâs making you feel the same as they did.
When Ford finally emerges, clean but still burdened, he heads into your bedroom. He notices you sitting there with red, puffy eyes. He doesnât know what to do; he doesnât know how to fix this.
âIâm sorry for how I reacted, but you have to know how pissed I am,â you speak first as he takes a seat beside you on the bed. âIf you donât love me anymore, just say it. Youâre never around anymore, and when you are, it seems like you just want to get away from me. Itâs fine if you donât love me anymore; Iâd be heartbroken, but Iâd be okay. Iâd be even more heartbroken if you kept me hanging around here when itâs just me who still loves you.â
Ford feels his throat tighten at your words, guilt and sorrow gnawing at him. He opens his mouth to respond, but the words catch in his throat. How can he make you understand that his distance has never been about a lack of love? How can he convince you that despite everything, youâre still the most important part of his life?
âI always promised myself I wouldnât be this,â you start. âSitting around as if I need someone. I never wanted to be the person stuck at home, trotting around at the geniusâ heels. Especially not with someone who doesnâtâwho might notââ your voice trembles, and he quickly jumps in.
âI do love you,â he finally whispers, his voice hoarse. âI love you more than anything. Iâm just⊠lost. This work, everything Iâve been doingâitâs consumed me, and I know Iâve let it come between us. But please, donât ever think that I donât love you. Thatâs the furthest thing from the truth.â
You listen, your eyes searching his face for sincerity. You can see the regret there, the deep sadness in his eyes, but youâve heard apologies before. You need more than just words. Ford reaches out, taking your hand in his, holding it like a lifeline. He can feel your fingers trembling, and it breaks his heart all over again.
âI know Iâve been terrible,â he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. âIâve been so wrapped up in my work that Iâve neglected you, neglected us. But I donât want to lose you. I canât lose you. Iâll do betterâI promise Iâll do better.â
âHow many times have we had this conversation, Ford? IâIâm getting tired,â you breathe out.
âI mean, what do you want me to tell you here? Do you want me to say Iâm never gonna work with Bill again? Because I canât! I need him.â Ford tries.
âNo, you donât!â you slightly raise your voice before sighing.
âDo you want me to just stop working so you can be making money and supporting me while I do nothing? I mean, fuck, youâre not exactly writing or anything right now,â he breathes out.
âIâm trying,â you say firmly.
âI canât⊠I canât lose so youâre comfortable! I canât lose because you canât win,â he raises his voice.
And then itâs quiet for a moment. Neither of you speaks, but Ford instantly regrets it.
âI donât know how much longer I can do this,â your voice breaks.
Heâs failed you in so many ways, and heâs terrified that it might be too late to fix things. But as he looks into your eyes, he knows he has to try.
âIâm sorry, Iâm so sorry. Iâll do whatever it takes to make this right,â he says, his voice trembling with conviction. âJust⊠please donât give up on me. Donât give up on us.â
âI donât believe you,â you cry, and he slightly stiffens. âI mean, did you hear what you just said? I need to go for a drive or something.â
âWait, please,â he starts, but youâre already standing up and trying to leave. âIâm so in love with you it feels like I canât breathe when Iâm not with you!â
As you try to walk out as quickly as possible to hide your tears, he sees your hand come up to wipe them.
âPlease donât go,â he begs, finally catching up with you and placing his hands on your shoulders. âPlease, just hear me out.â
âIâll hear you out later, I just need a minute. I donât want to give up on this, but I just⊠I need a coffee or something,â you look him in the eyes, and everything in him softens.
âOkay,â he breathes out. âJust⊠please, come home to me.â
âI will. Iâll be back soon,â you nod.
Ford watches helplessly as you leave. The door clicks shut behind you, leaving a deafening silence in its wake. His heart aches with a pain he canât describe, but he doesnât have the time to wallow. The moment youâre gone, something snaps inside him, and he storms back into his office.
Once inside, Ford slams the door shut and collapses into his chair, his body shaking as the tears finally break free. He buries his face in his hands, the sobs wracking his body with a force he hasnât felt in years. All of the pain, the regret, the self-loathingâit all comes pouring out in a way that feels like it could tear him apart.
But before he can even begin to regain control, he senses a familiar presence. The air in the room changes, becoming thick with an ominous energy that Ford knows all too well.
"Why the long face, Sixer?" Billâs voice cuts through the silence. "Having a little loverâs quarrel?"
Ford lifts his head, his bloodshot eyes meeting Billâs glowing form. Rage surges through him, raw and untamed.
"This is your fault," he yells. "Youâve ruined everything!"
"Me? Ruin? Oh, come on, Fordsy. You know this was bound to happen. Youâre the one whoâs been pushing them away, not me." Bill laughs, the sound echoing eerily off the walls. Fordâs fists clench at his sides, the anger building to a boiling point.
"I wouldnât be in this mess if it werenât for you!" he shouts, his voice cracking with the weight of his emotions. "My marriage is falling apart because of you!"
"Oh, donât be so dramatic," Bill taunts, his voice dripping with condescension. "You think I made you neglect them? Do you think I made you ignore all those signs? Thatâs all you, pal. I see everything, and theyâve been telling you how they feel like every day. Itâs not my fault you donât care enough to do anything about it."
"I- why did you have to go so crazy in my body? I respect you, and Iâm still finishing the portal, but what the hell? At the end of the day, I wouldnât be in this situation if it werenât for you." Ford glares.
"You think finishing that portal is going to fix your problems? Oh, Fordsy, youâre in way over your head. Stop blaming me. Itâs not my fault you want to see me more than your own spouse." Bill laughs.
"Maybe you canât process emotions like this, but theyâre the love of my life. Before them, I hadnât really dated anyone, and I wasnât even sleeping around or anything; I was a loser. The only reason I ended up with someone as incredible as them without ruining it, like usual, is because I saw them as an anomaly at first. I didnât think I was flirting or anything. I donât know what Iâd do if they left me. I wouldnât even know what love is without them. You need to think about what your actions can mean for other people, Bill." Ford turns back to Bill.
"Clearly, youâre the one that needs to think about your actions. Isnât it crazy that if you neglect someoneâs feelings, they wonât want to be with you anymore? Even I can understand that!" Bill laughs, and Ford just stands up.
Ford sits there for a moment before he decides he canât take it anymore. He stands up and heads to the music room. Bill yells things as he walks away, but Ford doesnât hear it. He heads straight for a notebook full of songs theyâve written. His heart is racing as he opens it and sees so many that he hasnât even heard yet.
In fact, this is a new notebook almost full of songs he hasnât heard except for a few at the beginning. Have they not tried to show him, or has he not tried to listen? He reads the sad lyrics of almost every song, lyrics about feeling lonely when with someone you love and waking up alone. Songs about how they try to convince themselves that theyâre a part of his life but not feeling like it. When did he start pulling away from them?
You sit in your car with a to-go cup of coffee, unsure if you should drive home yet or simmer for a little while longer. Your fingers tap on the warm cup as you try to think clearly. Your love for Ford is swarming every inch of your mind. But you know you shouldnât accept what you donât deserve, and you know you havenât done anything to deserve this.
The version of you before Ford wouldâve threatened a divorce already to try and scare him. You donât want to do that now, but you want him to realize that you canât keep living like this. You canât keep following in his stride instead of walking beside him. Youâve won ten Grammys; itâs not as if youâre unaccomplished with no other options but to stay with him.
But you want to stay with him. Ford is so loving and warm. No one has ever loved you the way he has. Hell, no one other than Ford has seen you as more than a one-night thing. And you love him so much. You canât help but wonder if maybe thereâs something here for you to try to understand that you donât already.
You look at the ring on your fingerâhis ring. And you donât feel like other people have described, like itâs a handcuff or a jail cell thatâs keeping you locked to him. You love being married to Ford. Saying you donât and never did would be a complete lie. You just donât love being mostly ignored by the man you love.
For someone so smart, he can be such an idiot sometimes. Letting some kind of entity possess his body whenever it pleases is a new low. Is that my problem? Bill? you think. Itâs not right to you that his weakest self gets to decide how your life is going to turn out; you get to decide that. And what you want is a lifeâa beautiful marriage, a homeâwith him. With the man you know he truly is. And youâre going to get it, hell or high water.
You take a deep breath, your eyes still fixed on the ring as you turn it around your finger. The thought of a future without Ford makes your heart ache, but you know you deserve better, and you know Ford is capable of giving it to youâif he just realized how much you mean to him, how much you mean to each other.
You sip your coffee, the warmth grounding you, giving you the clarity you need. You know you have limits. If Ford canât see the toll his actions are taking on your marriage, then you have to make him see it. You have to stand up for yourself, for what you want, and for the life you could have together.
You start the car, the decision made. Youâre going to drive home and talk to himânot in anger or frustration, but with the love thatâs still there, burning so fiercely in your heart. Youâre going to make him understand whatâs at stakeânot just your marriage, but everything youâve built together.
As you drive, the road blurs slightly through your unshed tears, but you blink them away. You canât afford to lose focus now. Ford needs to know that youâre serious, that this isnât just another fight that will blow over. This is your future, and you wonât let it slip away without a fight.
When you pull up to the house, your resolve only strengthens. You take a deep breath before stepping out of the car, the ring on your finger feeling like a lifeline rather than a chain. You walk into the house, finding Ford sitting on the couch, his head in his hands. He looks up as you enter, and the relief in his eyes is almost overwhelming.
âFordâŠâ you begin, your voice thick with emotion, but you hold up a hand to stop him as he tries to respond.
âFord, I need you to listen to me,â you say firmly, though your voice trembles slightly. You sit down beside him, taking his hands in yours. âI love you more than anything in this world, but I canât keep living like this. I canât keep being the one whoâs always trying to catch up to you, to your work, to everything else that seems to matter more than me or my feelings.â
His eyes widen in panic, and he starts to speak, but you squeeze his hands, stopping him again.
âNo, Ford. Let me finish,â you continue, your voice soft but steady. âYouâve always been so loving, so warm, and Iâve never felt like this with anyone else. But you know me, and you know Iâm not the type to ignore the fact that Iâve felt more like an afterthought lately. And it hurts. It really, really hurts.â
âPlease, Iââ Fordâs face crumples, and you can see the guilt and regret swirling in his eyes.
âI donât want to threaten you with divorce or give you an ultimatum,â you say, your voice breaking slightly. âBut I need you to understand that if weâre going to make this work, you need to start seeing me as your partner again, not just someone whoâs here to support you while you chase after your dreams. We need to be in this together, walking side by sideânot with me always trying to catch up.â
Ford looks at you with such intensity that it nearly takes your breath away. His eyes are red and puffy too, his fingers nervously moving his ring in circles on his finger.
âYouâre right,â he finally says, his voice hoarse. âIâve been an idiot, and Iâve taken you for granted. But I swear to you, Iâll do whatever it takes to fix this. You mean everything to me, and I canât imagine my life without you in it. You make me want to be better, not just for you, but for us. And Iâm going to prove it to you. I donât want to lose this with you, and Iâm so sorry that Iâve hurt you. Just⊠please, donât go. Iâm still yours. My heart is always gonna be yours. You are the one I want.â
âI just want you to see me, Ford. Really see me. Iâm not asking you to give up your work, but I need you to find a balance, to make room for us in your life. Because I canât keep doing this if things donât change.â You nod, tears spilling over your lashes as you squeeze his hands.
âI see you. I promise I see you,â Ford whispers, pulling you into his arms. âAnd Iâm going to show you just how much you mean to me. I wonât let you down again. And those arenât just empty promisesâI mean every word I say to you.â
As you hold each other, the tension begins to melt away, replaced by the hope that you can find your way back to each other. It wonât be easy, but you know itâs possible. And for the first time in a long time, you believe that you can make it work. Ford pulls back slightly, his gaze locking with yours.
âIâve never loved anyone like I love you,â he says, his voice thick with emotion. âI didnât date anyone in high school or collegeâI was too focused on my work. Hell, Iâve only slept with four people in my life, and youâre the only one who wanted me after that. Youâre the only one who stayed the morning after and kissed me and smiled at me. You looked so perfect then, and it wouldâve been impossible not to want more with you. Youâre the reason I want to be better, the reason I want to wake up every morning. And I donât know how I got so lucky to have you in my life, but Iâm not going to take it for granted anymore. I promise you that.â
âOkay.â You nod for a moment before bringing his lips to yours.
He sinks into you, and the next thing he knows, heâs on top of you on the couch. Both of your hands are desperate as your lips talk. And he thinks, while this is happening, that you are worth everything to him. He didnât think any of this would be happening when he first got out of high school and his life was in front of him. He never thought he would even have a spouse, let alone be kissing you with his body between your legs in your home on a quiet November night.
And the further things go, he realizes that he hasnât touched you like this since your most recent talk about him neglecting you before tonight. Seasons changed, months passed, and he was too wrapped up in whatever he was doing to just exist with you, which is what he loved doing when you first met.
#ford pines#gravity falls#gravity falls ford#stanford pines x reader#ford pines x reader#stanford pines#gravity falls stanford#stanford x reader#ford x reader#bill x ford#grunkle ford#Spotify
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stimming⊠especially constant, visually/auditory loud (neutral) stimming from person who not have awareness or ability to control them, definitely big part of be seen as visibly autistic.
but it just one part to visible autism.
from mannerisms, way you hold body, way you move body, facial movements, reactions n responses (or lack there of), way interact with world n people around you even before they talk to you or directly interact with you, even your gait. from simple n very simple mouth talk (âgo storeâ or âstoreâ), or nonverbality (24/7 thing NOT episode not âgo nonverbalâ)âŠ
to external aids, like low and high tech AAC, ear defenders, aides n support workers following youâŠ
to things not inherent to autism but so frequently happen alongside visible developmental disabilities that it also become why visibly autistic people get clock as visibly autisticâspecialized mobility equipments like manual tilt in space wheelchairs n manual wheelchair with headrests, certain facial differencesâŠ
n so many things am missing!
all come together to have someone clocked as visibly autistic. visibly developmentally disabled. or much less nice terms. n not just âweirdâ or âoddâ.
am level 2/3 autistic who canât mask & struggle to voluntarily control stimming & struggle be aware of what am doing. am also severely physically disabled in way that often make it extremely hard / even stop me from do repetitive movements and make sounds (including sounds not part of say words). so am often involuntarily still n quiet. but. am still visibly autistic. people still able tell. n still frequently get me in bad situations.
because no, not being able control when people know your private medical information, i.e. you have stigmatized disability that known for be easily take advantage of n may not be able communicate or understand whatâs happening (n majority people whose autism visible, on more significantly impacted side of this), uh, is NOT good experience.
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