#but theyre with friends (as we do every year) and they deserve the time off from family drama

[hightaled]

my schedule and my classes are so fucking awful and i am filled with more contempt and vitriol than ever this year

[thesquidkid]

I just found out that my grandmother (and other family members, but finding that out hurt less) does not believe in climate change

Yesterday at dinner, my aunt was asking me about the different masters I was looking at (she's like one of the very few supportive ppl in my family, and one of the few who actually seems interested in my studies)

So I told her that I was looking at master programs regarding systems and control, and more precisely, at courses that were related to meteorology, climate, and environment. My aunt was asking me questions, it was a fun little conversation, and I got overexcited talking about weather patterns and the importance of research (I have been obsessed with weather since I was 6, and the first job I ever wanted to do was meteorologist)

And that point, my grandma turned to us and said something along the lines of "it's not real, you kids just invented it to annoy your elders"

This single sentence was like an arrow straight to the heart. Because she then went on about how ridiculous it was that climate would change, that we only had different cycles and that this was simply one of them.

Maybe I'm overreacting, but this is just the drip too much. Whenever I talk about my interests, I get shut down because "there are more important things in life than mathematics".

From the ages 6 to 12 I kept telling ppl I was going to be a meteorologist. My grandmother laughed at me every time, saying "it's cute to have dreams". Now I know she never believed that my interest were real.

Anyway, I'm off to another family meal, and I'll make sure to not mention climate, the weather, or mathematics.

[ender--slime]

long post about the 10/8 update incoming!!!!!!!

ok i dont usually post my thoughts on updates bwcause im the number one adhd rambler of all time but here we go.. you get to read them today!!!!!!! SO. one of my big HSBC theories is that Ult Rose is actually the mastermind of sorts behind the whole story. not in an evil way, because dirk isnt even evil, just in the way that she knows a lot more than shes letting on!!! and that dirk and al might not be the only ones with real influence here. this theory was first thought up by my friend @classpectpokerap and its called the "Gloves are Canon" theory and you can read about it more in-depth here and here! as a fun challenge go back and read the epilogues and early hs2 (and also new updates) with the idea that rose knows more than we think. youll get some really fun stuff out of it and hopefully youll be convinced :p

SO ANYWAYS. how does this concern the 10/8 anniversary update?

HOO BOY

first of all, lets get a few content warnings and things outta the way. this lil analysis is gonna talk about some suicidal characters and suicidal ideation so plz !! be warned!!

first off, we know that Ult Dirk is really just afraid. hes not scary or intimidating at all, to the reader, because he killed himself in one timeline and hes really just trying to do it again. he even says this in the epilogues- that he hopes his death is Just when it comes, and he hopes its dave that does it. dirk feels as though he doesnt belong- hes always felt this way. he thinks the world and his friends would be better off without him, and his last gift to them is to create a new universe where they can start fresh outside of lord english's influence for good. he might be the most obnoxious narrator on earth c, claiming that he knows whats best and that hes doing right by everyone and by you, as the reader. but the TAGLINE of the epilogues are "tales of dubious authenticity". it tells you from the start that youre dealing with the worlds most unreliable narrator here. a guy who says one thing, says hes fine, puts on a mask to make himself seem stronger, but is always harboring the most pain. who also thinks this way?

rose fuckin lalonde!!!!! this isnt just beyond canon either. try and count how many times she did some suicide mission shit in og homestuck. and how non chalant she was about every single one. this character trait stuck around, and its especially clear in the 10/8 update.

and who does she reference, saying that he made the right choice to kill himself?

bam. this miserable motherfucker wants Out.

notice how she doesnt say "kill himself". she says LEAVE. as if she knows ult dirk is in the other timeline, alive and well. as if she knows that she could have done that too. made the right choice. the canon choice.

but what does that mean, in terms of Gloves are Canon? well, if you read the gloves are canon theory part 2, it states how at the beginning of candy, rose's ult self visions completely went away supposedly, but by the time HSBC picked up last year, theyre back...and worse?

how? its only been a few days, in universe.

was she lying about them being gone? is it the influence of having the Light, the Narrative, the Eyes of the Reader back on her now that the comic is going again? was she ulted the whole time just like dirk and we dont know it?

to the reader, the rosemary breakup in both timelines was a destruction of rose's character. but to rose.....its what she thinks kanaya deserves. rose thinks kanaya deserves a life without her. rose thinks shes BETTER OFF without her. and maybe deep down she thinks the whole timeline, and the whole universe, is better off without her too.

just like ult dirk.

i have a lot of thoughts on the other two parts of the update, but i wanted to focus on the concept of ult rose with this post because. god. idk her whole section was so potent and not only confirmed my theory, but just made me feel sick!! /pos

[crystalis]

i hope ur feeling better. ik its hard that we live in such a shitty society and ik exactly how u feel. ive also never landed a job, cant drive, and barely have any kind of life experience at the old age of 25. please dont value urself based on what you can or cant provide for the shitty capitalist system, u are so much more than that. i may not know u personally but weve been mutuals forever and uve always remained such a sweet, empathetic person with an interesting character and i just have so many hopes for u. it doesnt matter if ur behind in life compared to your peers, its unrealistic to expect everyone to fit into a restrictive mold. i could go on and on about this but my point is: dont allow someone to dehumanize or lessen ur worth because of conditions out of ur control. u dont deserve that, no one deserves that. if u need resources on how to help urself id be more than happy to help, but i also dont want to intrude too much. and i hope to god tumblr doesnt cut off this ask i have no idea how many characters are allowed

thank you that means a lot.. its validating being reminded im not alone, i think part of what makes it so painful is the feeling that i am failing uniquely. or that im the only person in this sort of situation

it feels dificult to get out of the trap of self-sabotage. it's like any time i make some sort of progress, like leaving the house more (last year i was going on walks a lot, and me and my mom were going to the park every once in a while), i eventuallt take 2 steps back and i ended up pushing people in my life away and making myself more isolated

i know that things would be easier if i had close friends my age that could help guide me, but it's like i unconsciously respond to that by making myself friendless/guide-less.. i dont know how to articulate this very well.. it feels increasingly more difficult to climb out of a hole the deeper that you are, and it's like there's part of you that just wants to dig deeper until theres no escape

i hvae really intense social anxiety and a fear of humiliation and i get very overwhelmed by it when im alone in public spaces or when i think about getting a job. i know its very exacerbated by the fear of the unknown since ive never done interviews or had a job before, i never even had a 'first time' experience and it makes it so much worse for someone with intense social anxiety

and theres also that feeling that i am intruding in someone elses spaces / lives or their friend-groups.. i always think—what if my coworkers dont like me or think im awkward? or what if i make things more difficult for them because i mess things up, or what if im a bad worker and people talk about me. and it gets harder the older i get.. how can i explain how clueless/backwards i am at 26 years old, it's not like im a 16 year old that people expect to not know what theyre doing, you know

[homoerotic-shonen-rival-showdown]

Round One Match Sixteen: Yusuke Urameshi and Kazuma Kuwabara (Yu Yu Hakusho) vs Gojo and Geto (Jujutsu Kaisen)

why should you vote for them?

Yusuke Urameshi and Kazuma Kuwabara (4):

OH MY GOODNESS Kuwabara is SO whipped for Yusuke like im not kidding. he constantly is trying to beat Yusuke in strength, but most of all he seems to want his acknowledgement and attention. we see Kuwabara actually GRINNING with JOY when Yusuke remembers his name for the first time. theyre constantly at each others throats, but trust each other with their life more than anyone else. crazy kids!!!

There are a number of times where they each almost die or actually die and the other has a full breakdown about how the other's not allowed to die because then who would they beat up? The first time this happens is at the very beginning of the series before anything even happens and they're supposedly just normal middle school punks. They say they hate each other but they very clearly don't. Gay af

they start off as rivals and then go to teammates, but also in a "I will still win over you" way, and in a "no one can kick his ass but me" way, and they should kiss about it

Gojo and Geto (3):

uh...divorced. i love them

STSG ESSAY TIME >:)))))) Warning for Jujutsu Kaisen anime/manga spoilers ahead! I had to explain deep dark depths of the story to prove that they deserve to win the crown. Here I go. Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru (also known as Satosugu or simply stsg) deserve to win the crown for the following reasons. Please bear with me throughout this whole essay because I am unequivocally insane about them. First of all let's get into the rivalry side of things.

In high school, Gojo was an absolute menace. The first time Gojo and Geto met, the latter hated the former because he was annoying, rude, and arrogant. Now eventually they became best friends, but you see, their rivalry returned when Geto was exiled from the school because they had a stark disagreement in moral ideologies, which resulted in a dramatic breakup in front of a KFC (yes, this is actually canon). Gojo was supposed to execute Geto because he did some Bad Things (that we don't need to get into right now) but as Geto walked away he said (paraphrased) "Go ahead and kill me. There's meaning to that." And My Lord is that a line. So for the next ten years of their lives, these two were separated, now on opposite sides, now each others' enemies. Eventually this came to a climax when Geto declared war on Gojo, but before we get to that, let's pause for a second, and talk about the meaning behind this all. I'll try to make this part quick because without restraint this would become excessively long. So technically, Gojo and Geto's breakup directly caused the plot of Jujutsu Kaisen to unfold. If they hadn't broken up, then Geto wouldn't have declared war and then died. If they hadn't broken up, Geto's body wouldn't have been possessed; his body wouldn't have, completely against his will, trapped Gojo in a prison, as Geto sat back helpless, unable to do anything to stop his best friend from being sealed *by his own hands*. Every single other tragic event that happened in Jujutsu Kaisen would not have happened, because, assuming you have never watched/read Jujutsu Kaisen, no, Gojo and Geto are not the main characters, and the whole rest of the cast was affected by this event. Yes, this homoerotic rivalry breakup is the very Big Bang for Jujutsu Kaisen, because if it didn't happen, Jujutsu Kaisen wouldn't have the incredible plot that it has. Butterfly Effect at its finest. Anyway, now that their rivalry is out of the way, I will now get into their homoeroticism.

My first piece of evidence for their homoeroticism is that... it's in the name. Both of their first names start with "s" and end with "ru". Both of their last names start with "g" and end with "o". And both of their full names have the same amount of syllables. There is no possible way that this wasn't done on purpose to get the point across that they are literal soulmates. Do I sound insane yet? In addition, Gojo called Geto, and I quote, "my one and only". Now if that isn't some fruit ass shit then idk what is. And now the most damning evidence of homoness, comes when Geto died by Gojo's side. This was after the war that Geto declared on Gojo, and Geto ended up on the losing side. Even though they had been rivals for ten long years, they still had an important and heartfelt history together, so as Gojo walked over to his dying best friend, Geto smiled, glad to see not only an old friend, but the most important person in his life, for the last time. Gojo's last words to Geto as he died were NEVER REVEALED. Only very very few producers of the anime know the words. They will be released soon but for now we don't know. But it was confirmed that his last words were THREE WORDS. Now I don't wanna put any words in Gojo's mouth but the most obvious theory here is that he said "I love you" as his best friend and rival of 10+ years died by his side. This is even further affirmed when, after hearing those three words, Geto BLUSHED, SMILED (as he was in the process of bleeding out!) and described the words as (paraphrased) "embarrassing words that they had never said to each other before". IT'S BARELY SUBTEXT AT THIS POINT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND THEY'RE GAY AS HELL!

Now before this gets any longer I will cut myself off here. Thank you for coming to my way-too-long Ted Talk about these stupid ass anime men who have been plaguing my mind for months, I hope you take my submission into consideration! I don't expect them to win but I'm just happy I get to aggressively type an essay about them in this google form :D

[nicegaai]

I used to not care about Sweden ships that much but then my third eye was opened to his shipping potential and I now love every Nordic ship with him.

SuFin - need I say anything? Iconic. Next.

DenSu - Enemies to friends to rivals to friends again to fuck buddies to lovers

SuNor - surprisingly sexy. Ship that's able to simultaneously bring out the best and worst in both of them.

SuIce - why just give him Ice a big brother kink? Give him a daddy kink TOO

All this to ask, any headcanons for SuNor specifically or for Swe ships in general?

HELLO my dear my beloved my angel of the askbox. i love this journey youve been on, you are completely correct in everything and ur suice take made me scream out loud btw <3 i want my babybabyboy 2 have a daddy kink so bad <3

YES OFC 🫡 SYNTHESIZING MY MINDS VERSION OF MRSWEDEN INTO SM COHERENT FOR YOU POSTHASTE

(edit: this was not very posthaste of me.................... enjoy anyway if u are still out there... i love you...)

hard agree that sunor is So Hot. im obsessed w them as a concept. like. you dont even know

first of all sunor has the norice problem where ppl want to assign them Platonic Sibling energy but then u look at them and its like why is there clearly sexual tension here...... i suspect its norways fault for havign that sexy voice disease where everything he says comes off flirty. and sweden is -- 🧠💥 wait wait wait wait wait

its coming together. sweden spent a lot of his life as a closeted gay man and was very uptight about it (source: look at him), claiming to humans that nations dont do sex and that he is a good asexual boy with no impure thoughts and other times pretending to have interest in women to fit in, depending.

but norway is shamelessly himself in every era—at least in comparison to sve... he wont pretend to be something hes not. and he wouldnt hesitate to fuck a strange man for fun, even in times where getting caught would severely damage his reputation. sweden even in modern day would not do one night stands. or you know. never say never, but hes LEANING never. norway is leaning Always.

what im saying is. sve would be so jealous that nor is living his best life and doesnt feel shame, even in an era(s) where he really should. and i think due to a series of cinematically coincidental outside circumstances (my brain is writing a fanfic without me rn) (edit: i have since forgotten the fanfic), they would start butting heads about it, not in the same way su and den fight... theyre passive aggressively sniping at each other. sve wants him to represent himself better, and nor is like i can literally do what i want forever.

from the outside it looks like a brotherly disagreement over differing life choices, but its 100% sexual tension fueled. nor is like lmao why are you mad? are you jealous? and would come onto him to freak him out and sve would be like STOP this is WRONG but he wants it so bad and they both know it. he hates nor because hes hot and fucking everyone but him and the one thing he can't do is admit he wants him. ...all norway has to do to win is keep teasing him until he breaks, but it would take several years. not decades, bc even if the flirting is infrequent sweden is not strong enough for this treatment.

... in general, i think they have different views of sex. to me norway has a high sex drive, lower than average standards, and doesn't feel shame as acutely as he does and sweden cant stand it. that's my sunor headcanon. they fuck anyway ofc but in modern day sve has made nor get std tested at least once. but could they be exclusively together like a monogamous ship? .............. i could be convinced.

OTHER SU SHIPS, QUICK FIRE ROUND

sufin - need we say more? i want to anyway... i love them married with kids i love them divorced i love them in a 500 year unlabeled situationship i love them one-sided and i dont really prefer one dynamic over another tbh. actually wait i do have a hot take. i think finland deserves to top sometimes. FinSu nation rise up <3

densu - what can i even add to this... they should look like the happiest couple on the surface but be crazy & toxic behind closed doors. theyre perfectly normal guys when separated but when left alone together they scare me. this is a good thing to me btw

suice - jsgdk gjk s klga liwi egi j tjil 2 t. g 8aw9e gae0jo d ;gawj dp2gjawodgijl aij e 0g;eglj aw irgl ajoweg lahrigawi egji awlji dg d i need to write them together more i could get so insane ab these two & i have a scene planned for my longfic where they fuck like crazy and i think ab it once a week. suice is so cute. theyre so cute. AHH

[wegonbealright-09]

https://x.com/fjimindata/status/1724548947698688502?s=46 see now im REALLY pissed off

first of all, it makes sense that they wouldn’t get certifications for the much older songs that they’re not interested in promoting, i get that part. but when you have it all laid out like this its just obvious that there’s no excuse and they didn’t have any interest in acknowledging him.

the 7 certification came just in time to push his album release and the grammy push and yet, that flopped.

jimin is the ONLY member to have literally every main solo song (Lie, Serendipity, Filter, and now Like Crazy) to qualify. It’s established that he sells in the US and each of his songs is great in both quality and overall appeal. so why not make more of an investment in him.

there’s at least three possible scenarios i can think of:

1- this is all part of the plan

sometimes, the cynic in me wonders if they forced him into an underdog role bc that’s the brand they felt would sell for him. the members themselves have spoken about the concepts they were given pre-debut. i remember jin talking about how he was meant to be a cold serious type of guy but eventually that just didn’t work for him and he became the handsome and confident but goofy one. we can assume it was the same way for others.

at first, jimin was the “ladykiller” type with the ab flashing antics and then he became the sweet, kind, charismatic but “self-conscious” guy most of us became extremely attached to. he already had the “hard-work genius” title (🥴) that has been pushed for ages so it would make sense for the underdog-that-thrives-against-all-odds narrative to be the next step.

bc jimin has always performed strongly in the us they knew he wouldn’t flop no matter what and fans would feel incentivized by the “mistreatment” narrative so they would work even harder for him.

much like with bts, there was always a social-justice-oriented motivator for how hard armys worked since BTS had been treated like shit by racist/xenophobic/homophobic/elitist people in both the domestic and Western industries. meanwhile, the only real competition bts ever had was a group of attractive but averagely talented individuals who got all their material, promotions, and mediaplay handed to them on a silver platter. this only motivated armys that much more to work hard for the ones that actually do the work and “deserve” it.

does that sound similar to a certain someone? do you see where i’m going with this?

i could write an entire essay on the parallels i see here but i’ll leave it there for now.

2- the company really only cares about jk

another scenario is the worst case scenario pjms have been talking about all year. the company has a one-track mind of who they’re trying to push and they know the other members will follow even if theyre mistreated by the company bc they simply won’t do that well elsewhere or by themselves.

3- for some reason, they see Jimin as a liability so = not worth investment

something we don’t often talk about (because we don’t know much about it) is the topic of sponsors. jimin must have some but we don’t really have a clue as to who they are. for th (and probably jk) it’s obvious that that paradise hotel group family sponsors him. i don’t doubt that’s one of the reasons why he made such a big deal over those dating rumors. dating the daughter of the people funding your career sounds a tad bit icky if you ask me. now we now it was also bc he was actually dating a friend of the daughter’s (who also appears to be sponsored by them 😶) but i digress.

***this next part is purely gossip based on my observations and is 0% grounded on any legitimate information. ***

i suspect that jimin had pretty big sponsors circa 2019 while jk didn’t and now it is the opposite. when the whole paris clubbing scandal dropped even though the videos were everywhere on stan twt barely any korean media picked up on it. on the other hand, when the jk scandal triad happened (tattoo girl, car accident, and mid-covid itaewon outing) that shit was everywhere and he got dogged on real bad by knetz. it’s possible that jimin just got lucky that it coincided with jk’s scandals and got off scot-free (outside of stan twitter). in contrast, when jimin had the whole insurance payment evasion/stolen mail debacle that got covered extensively in k-circles even if stan twt didn’t gaf about it. now we know after face era was jimin was struggling around that time which inspired his songs and then he decided to “get his head straight on”. since that time period, which was the first half of 2022, he’s almost become ultra conservative with his image. i suspect the company took the blame for the insurance thing even though it was on him and that that was his wake-up call that he wasn’t doing well mentally.

if jimin, like the rest of hyung line, doesn’t have sponsors that are that influential anymore then maybe more of the brunt of funding his solo debut relied on the company and they decided to be conservative about it in case it was a risk at any point.

Is a very different approach to the situation I've never heard anyone analysing the situation like that it is very different and baby armies and them stupid ass ot7s would eat that one up.

But I think we all agree it's two. I'm trying my best not to post about Hybe because the festive season is here and I don't want nothing and nobody to ruin my spirit.

[direbeastrex]

i think i need to stop being a player at ttrpg games and start being a DM

The fear of rejection and disapproval from past DMs makes me too nervous to play characters i want to play and show stories I want to show, because the threat of being seen as too cringy has loured over me since I was a teenager and kept me from persuing literally every good thing i have ever enjoyed

I think enough is enough

I want to be the DM that tells people *yes, and*. I want to skip the slog of having to prove you're worthy of being powerful. All my friends have earned that right by surviving to this point, frankly. I no longer believe that happiness must be earned or bargained for with years worth of time.

I want to run a high level, dragon centric campaign, where nothing is set in stone and no one is shamed for having a power fantasy come true. We all deserve to see level fucking twenty without waiting years just to prove that we have 'earned it'. Thats deranged nonsense.

I want my players to give me the most insane concepts and broken game mechanics and i will be so happy if they do because it proves they are thinking enough about my game that theyre not just rolling off their sheet because they expect combat to be mechanical and paint by numbers. My job isnt to prevent them from killing bosses in creative ways. Its to give them opportunities to use their concepts. To gestalt with each other, too.

I am just sick of anxiously playing by other peoples rules. Im neurodiverse and trans- i break several rules every day before I even get out of bed. Fuck the expectations. Fuck towing the line. Im gonna DM a fucking game in which there will be dragons and fuck the bioessentialism of chromatics being evil. Just Fuck it. What does it serve? Nothing and certainly not me.

And damn it, if you ask for a seat at my table and ask me "can i be a dragon?" I promise you, i will say "yes, and-" and you will not fucking believe the shit i will lay at your feet. You are gracing my headworld with an opportunity to flesh it out in ways I could never have imagined. The least I can do is let you shape it with me.

[himbos-hotline]

What do you think needs improvement in wwe and aew

OKAY so prefancing this by the fact I have not watch WWE in over a year and the only things I know about WWE now is what im getting from tumblr

both companies need to stop relying on the old stars/ old wrestlers needing either a money hit or a cash hit or like another grasp at talent. as much as I LOVE daddy ass and re-living my childhood in wrestling but like I get sooo tired of seeing people relive the glory days when they shouldnt *cough* ric flair *cough*. like theres sooo many talented younger wrestlers that arent getting shown on TV/ in the companies because older wrestlers get quick pops because of the nostalgia run. I see goldberg one more time I will actually explode.

Aew needs to book more womens matches and treat them at the same like bundle and preface as men! Like give us a womans blood and guts!! and more womens matches in genearal where its more of a rough and tumble vibe with blood. My favourite womens match is the thunder rosa brit baker cage match!! Also give me more nyla like I love nyla rose sooo much and shes so talented and cool and I wanna see her wrestle more

also things that feel like "small" tag teams, like the best friends, arent being like shown how talent they are. I know that sentence doesnt make sense. But re-watching aew during the pandemic era- where you had the trent vs kenny match it was so good and it really showwed just how cool and talented trent is in the ring and I think both him and chuck should be allowed to wrestle more and actually wrestle like do moves and win matches, theyre not just to push other talent or let newer tag teams win, its kinda depressing when taented wrestlers arent used in the way they deserve too

another thing and this is just for me, maybe this is just for me. Like long term storytelling suddenly either being shifted/stopped. Like do you remember when mox was facing [I think its either max or jericho] and someone like attacked him backstage and we NEVER EVER got told/figured out who attacked him and its kinda just been forgotten? ALSO as much as I love the elite and the hangkenny storyline and hangman rejoining the elite. He caused so much issues and trouble with everything and he hurt them, like matt said that bte episode "it hurt my heart" and theyve all like, just kinda accpeted him back. No like deep apology or "you have to prove yourself" or whatever. Its like they forgot the entire three year story they told. Also kenny finding out about the fucking nod- it could have been done so much deeper and sadder and emotional, the bucks have been there with kenny since his breakdown/breakup with kota and theyve always had his back until the one moment he needed them and they sided with hangman. But instead of all of that we got "k its cool" and I dont know if its gonna like come back up after all the kenny dealing with callis emotions is gone. Cuz thats gotta like fuck someone up mentally, suddenly loosing that abusive manipultive hold on you suddenly disappearing.

and FANS!! like, I love wrestling fans but also god I hate them so much. Guys, Guys I am begging y'all to stop showing wrestlers fanfics/ship-fanart and everything else. its not like made FOR them its made FOR other fans. I wouldnt want to be exposed to being shipped with my friends by people online. Like....ugh. ALSO like a small thing that pisses me off is fans thinking we can like, touch them in sexual ways. this is mostly cis-het men touching cis women wrestlers on their asses and tits. Like you wouldnt like if someone fondled your dick without asking. Concent is important and its not just for ike, fucking. its for every single thing in life. Yall can cuddle the wrestlers if they say you can but god if youre making people uncomfortable and gross its fucking bullshit and youre a sucky human being.

[what-if-nct]

I SAW DIAMONDS ONLY AND I WAS SO EXCITED AND IT WAS SO AMAZING ICH BIN SCHNAPPI AND I AM IN FUCKING LOVE I LOVE THOSE DORKS AND THEYRE SO COOL AND I LOVE THEM AND I LOOOOOOOOVE THEM SO MUCH MY FIRST LOVES WAYVVVVVV <3333333333333

Murdock got shot in s2 ep23 and I almost cried even tho I knew it was going to happen. He caught a bullet for Hannibal my baby almost died and the team almost got put in jail

Anywaysss, hiiiii!!! How are you doing? Everything good? Sorry for not being around for much, really :((( I wish I had come around more often, I really do. Is life good to you? (It better be btw, I will literally punch anyone who's mean to you.)

IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMASSS!!!!!! I am SO excited, and I'm going to cosplay with my friend as either Bungou Stray Dogs characters (probably Dazai and Chuuya) or Kakegurui characters (probably Yumeko and Mary or Ririka)

-sneeze ♡

As always Wayv does not disappoint at all. I love the song, the video, the boys look so amazing. It's like finally happening. Like I literally have no choice but to buy the album. I pick and choose what albums I buy. I can't buy every album cause I have other things my money has to go to. Like dolls. But I just have get Wayv's I'm happy that the comments are mainly about the boys. I'm just so happy.

Oh no, you're favorite character almost dying or actually dying is honestly a pain no one really understands till it happens to them. Like I still remember JT getting stabbed on Degrassi. Like he finally accepted his feelings for Liberty and was going to go find her and he got stabbed. Like why did JT have to die. And honestly Liberty was treated like the widow instead of Darcy just as she should have. Even though they didnt keep the baby. Liberty was still the mother of JTs child and the love of his life. Watching Degrassi in elementary and middle school gave me assumptions about high school. That were honestly kinda true. Highschool is just a wild. My friend cheated on her boyfriend with his friend and got pregnant in 11th grade and I never saw her again. And poor girl also got a boob job the year before. Like the timing. Degrassi has a lot of truth to it.

Yes, I'm doing fine. Okay I don't know if you remember I matched with a guy who looked like Doyoung. Or as I affectionately call him White Doyoung. We've been talking on and off and last night we talked till like 4 in the morning actually on the phone. And he's really cute and sweet. He said earlier I reminded him of an anime girl and last night he said I sound like one too. Which I kinda get often. I attract a specific kind of guy. But I just see him as a sweet boy. I don't think it'd go far cause he's so inexperienced and it's not a good idea but he's such a sweetie.

And that sounds like so much fun I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and new year. You deserve all of the happiness in the world💕🌸

[midwestdiscontent24]

The great depression

I think im depressed. Yesterday i had the day off and what did i do with my time? I had my breakfast and coffee, wrote an entry on here, masturbated to fill time, then spent the rest of the day in bed, on my phone, playing crossy roads. The only reason i even walked out my front door yesterday was to walk a block and a half up the street to buy a painting from facebook marketplace. Its a section from the painting "birth of venus" and it looks really nice hanging over my desk.

I honestly do think i might need to get back on anti depressants. Or anti anxiety meds. Something to make me feel more normal. Maybe i should start smoking weed, that might chill me out. Theres a dispensary one town over and a weed bakery. I might try those. They can really put weed into anything these days. ive even thought about asking my mom if she wants to get stuff from the bakery and eat them together; i honestly dont think shes ever been high.

I cracked last night and snapped jordan. It was a moment of depressive weakness but i dont really regret it. We snapped back and forth for about 3 hours. Im glad he was at work, otherwise i would have cracked even more and asked him to come over. I shouldnt even be messaging him. He rips my heart out every single time i get my hopes up. I want to be with him so bad and he just wants to fuck. I want to be loved and cherished and seen.

Sometimes i miss my last ex, because it was just easy being with him. I never had doubts about him cheating on me or breaking up with me (at least not until the very very end) It was like a fairy tale. I even drove 3,000 miles to meet his entire extended family. Then he broke up with me a week later to "see what else was out there." I still think that reason is complete bullshit and just a cover up for something else. But dating him was 4 months of bliss. I was happy and i want to feel that kind of love again. I deserve to have that kind of love again.

Sometimes i feel like im meant to be alone. Theres a certain level of comfort i feel in lonliness, i wont deny that. But when im 90 years old and i look back on my life, i dont want to remember endless days where i sat inside and did nothing but go on my phone and watch tv. A house full of my friends is literally a mile down the road and i have yet to call any of them. Granted, its summer so its still miserable being outside, so maybe i'll wait until fall. Plus walking down the main road gives me anxiety. I really do miss them though. For the brief time i was homeless in 2022, i stayed in that house. Theyre nice people, and i love them all so much. I feel bad for not calling them sooner, but i cant fix the past. I dont even know if Kayla is still in town. She likes to travel.

The last time i lived on this side of town i got super depressed too. I talked about it a little bit when i talked about rosy views of the past. I would sit in the shower with the water running for hours, just curled up in a ball or standing away from the shower head, just letting the warm water wash over me.

One time at my last apartment, i was so depressed and unhappy i would watch the same movie twice in a row after work every night before going to bed.

I wish i could just stay curled up in bed all night and not have to go to work or get up to use the bathroom or get up to eat and drink water. I just want to stay in bed with the fan pointed on me while im wrapped up in my comforter.

[mindovermatterismagicc]

oh i love you so much. i just feel so loving towards you tonight i just want to write my heart out. i never thought id be so in love ever, honestly before you i thought i was the most unlovable person, thank you for showing me what love is, all my life ive never felt love reciprocated to me but this time knowing that even if i dont love myself or believe in myself one day therell be atleast one person who would disagree. i cannot tell you enough how much of an impact youve had on my life, ive never been happier, i dont feel depressed anymore knowing youll always be there for me and how youve told me how i mean to you and that youre so proud of me. it goes such a long way i promise. the efforts you take for me and how much you adjust things for me whether it be ruining your sleep schedule or calling me in a train, it brings such a smile to my face knowing that wow man someone is so in love with me that theyre willing to go out of their way to do all this for me. i feel loved, i feel so fullfilled and i feel so not lonely anymore. thank you for healing a part of me i didnt know i needed to be touched, 13 year old vivaan no longer wants to kill himself and thinks life is entirely depressing anymore, because you made it shine, you brought light to my life and now you are my life, youre all i look after all i want, every thought, every action everything just comes down to you good or bad and thats beautiful that it settles to you because theres nothing i would want mean ore to me than you. 217/365 days. and ive only seen you for 2 of them but im not going to go on that sad path of how i miss it and everything because whats the point of being sad about it anymore? it was such a happy time and just so surreal and blissful it felt like nothing mattered in this world, it felt like it was just us and just hapiness. baby i can only fill my journal pages with you and asking you to come here i can only go to temples and ask god for you to come here too, i can only manifest for you to come here. theres not much i can do but im doing everything in my power for it, and i hope youre trying your best too, and im sure if its meant to happen and if im deserving enough to see you again according to god that time will come. please if you come here please surprise me okay?. we can only be optimistic and thats how we should be. i miss you so much everyday baby but talking to you makes me feel better about myself and life in general life doesnt feel so bad for the x minutes we talk and i really love that. 217 days and i only want this counter to never stop, i love how enthusisastic we are about each other everyday and just the way we sort things out, love each other be there for each other is goals and im so glad my first relationship turned out like this. theres nobody id want my first kiss to be on an empty metro station at 10:42am. on a personal level, im so proud of you baby i dont remind you enough as you remind me but i will from now, youre the most beautiful, wonderful, intelligent and just lovable person ive met and i literally mean it. you go through so much and even though you sleep through it most its tough to be you somedays and its tough to manage being so smart and just all that life brings you down for. im always going to be your biggest fan baby except when you colour your hair or get a piercing but ( jk i would love you as much still ) yeah im always going to be there for you, youre a good student, girlfriend, friend, sister and most importantly youre a beautiful human, and i mean that fromhow gorgeous you look to your morals and your so swwet heart. theres nobody like you and im glad there is nobody like you because youre all id ever want and i never want to let go off your hand.

i love you so so much baby i promise you that you mean the world to me and i never want to lose you.

there would be no vivaan without you my love, there would be no happy vivaan without sanskriti.

[ess-presso]

ess! <3

last night i went stargazing to see that comet that hasnt been visible since 50,000 years ago and it was pretty cool. the moon was out & i saw sirius too so i took a pic of them together #wolfstar5EVERRR

ur so right james would absolutely use duolingo to learn french for reg. that man is WHIPPED hed do anything for him.

tay time! you belong with me, style, & london boy <3

chat chat!

timmy and flo my absolutely beloveds. i think id probably watch anything theyre in (except maybe dont worry darling, even if it feels like a "movie". idk maybe its hilarious.)

tourists piss me off SO much sometimes. especially when theyre taking pictures of random shit like. clouds or trees. girl you dont have clouds or trees where you live???

i think a lot of cats are predisposed to be heinous bitches tbh. i can always count on my cats to be blunt when i need them to be <3

and wait blaise/luna.... i kinda love this too. adding those fics to my tbr, ty <3 i have another fic rec, lessen my load by moonymoment (wolfstar muggle au, remus finds sirius having a breakdown in a laundromat cause he put a red glove in his white wash)

if u do end up trying out the incest chronicles, giving u a fair warning that the first books are like so cringey. they were written in 2007-onwards and u can definitely tell. theyre def not for everybody but the prequel/sequel series are SO good. but godspeed anyways.

ben barnes in podg is SO sirius idk what it is abt him hes great. when people use his scenes in edits with sirius i eat it up every damn time.

handing in ur paper 8 mins before its due? u know what, u deserve a drink for that. drunk procrastinators never miss fr.

and yes im very excited to read that whenever u get around to writing it! no pressure ofc take your time <3

and damn ROYAL butter? okay i understand now. 4 tubs is very fair. and TOBLERONE on god is one of my fav chocolates. second maybe to terrys chocolate oranges imo.

dancing in the kitchen to jazz does sound super peaceful. sometimes moments like that feel like theyre straight out of a cute little movie and it makes life feel a little happier <3

please try poutine. its so good. and ur right jello salad is a crime. feels like a hate crime tbh.

colourful cars will always have my heart fr. leaving a tip after being driven around is a good idea maybe i should start doing that.

ill let u know when ive started the apprentice, im excited to see the hyde guy now. and kim kardashian lady too.

platonic soulmates>>> i think we lucked out with our best friends. lu walking through the rain for ur turnover? i love that sm. ur right L names do have some spice in them.

and yay geoguessr! i was shit at first too. but i got sucked in and like studied license plates and fucking road lines and signs so id be good. it aint much but its honest work. (i graciously thank u for the apple turnover. ur too kind)

i hope i dont have a gay realisation superpower. thats like having anti rizz. everyone whos liked me turning out to be gay? like yes im glad i could help but. as long as my soulmate likes me ig.

i love ur james fc sm. i love that theres so many different james fcs too like hes just everywhere <3 andrew & ben will always be remus & sirius but at the same time, they still dont look quite like how i imagine them to be. i think likeafunerall's art is as close as anything has ever gotten to them so ig theyre just too pretty in my mind for a real human to look even close to them. good for them.

and HUGH! hugh and lil timmy tim are like the only PERFECT fcs in my mind. everyone else has some wiggle room but not evan and reg. theyre just perfect.

ur so lucky to be a gryffindor. how does it feel to live my dream??

orpheus & eurydice </3 "if u must die, let love be the reason why" ARE U TRYING TO KILL ME?????? ill never get over them ever.

tbh i think soldiers are cool af. i saw a tiktok that said sirius would be the soldier (remus = poet, james = king) so thats also cool .

and no way u were listening to work song . i listened to that like 10 mins ago. hozier my beloved <3

athena kids are cool as hell. like go off smartypants! but yes raising the dead sounds cool too. idk what id use that power for cause i definitely dont need an undead army to fight for me so. maybe i can use it to talk to like. julius caesar or something.

tay NEVER MISSES!!!

and yes bowie for LIFE. also knee socks>>>> love that song sm. AM changed my life too. HS1 def altered my brain chemicals too (i got to see him in concert. it changed my life fr)

erudite !!!! <3

and yes its barbaric as fuck. if ive learned anything from studying ancient history its that humans have always been fucked up. so thats always nice.

silver jewellry is so cool . goes so well with my black leather jacket & docs cause im nothing if not channelling sirius black energy into my appearance at all times <3 u loving gold cause its expensive is so real. like yes its bougie as hell. and? also v gryffindor of u. cause its gold. u just need to wear red and ur set.

ur right tay does have that range. still love lana but she just has an overall darker tone which isnt always the vibe. miss taylor never misses.

LISTEN IM SORRY!!!! I LOVE CRUEL SUMMER SM. theyre both completely tied for me but i was just in a dont blame me kinda mood ig.

and yes the great war is very much a cr song. theres a chapter named the great war so its just a lot. so heartbreaking but SO beautiful. but my tears ricochet <3 like u know what taylor, ur right. i DIDNT have it in myself to go with grace.

lilac candles <3 theyre so nice. and yes. it did smell like piss. not sure what i expected tbh. but yeah

slow walkers are the worst and i agree people blocking hallways????? so annoying. especially when they walk slowly in these big groups that span the width of the hall and theyre too busy talking to notice EVERYONE trying to get by. UGHHH

having 2 middle names is so cool i wish i had 2 tbh.

on GOD that hc kills me. every time i watch poa i think of it and i get so sad.

i love winter sm too. personally im an autumn girly but winter is a close second. i love the festiveness sm <3

i loved chemistry too. yes i did drop it for bio cause im shit at math and bio has less numbers but idc it was still fun. and we do NOT talk about physics i hate that subject with my whole heart.

id pick hogwarts too honestly. i just wanna be magic u know.

and a coin collector thats so cool. i love unique coins sm. we had some here in canada a while ago that had the northern lights on them and GLOWED IN THE DARK (pic here)!! they were so cool i think i still have a few.

cardigan has my heart. but i think if i had to pick id choose mirrorball BUT only because i personally relate to it more. cardigan will forever be more heartbreaking and ofc, i cant listen to it without thinking abt wolfstar so.

a fellow erudite! we're superior for sure i just know it.

unicorn is such a good choice. theyre so cool and being able to grant wishes would be so fun. i think id choose a phoenix cause theyre fiery and cant die. also cause i change my appearance all the time so in a way its like a phoenix rising from the ashes all funky and brand new.

the vibes in the 50s was so cool i agree (minus the racism sexism and homophobia fuck that shit!!!!) . all i want in life is to go to a cute little 50s diner and drink milkshakes and listen to 50s music. i would love to go to ancient rome or greece but purely for the vibes and aesthetic tbh. id hate to go there cause im a woman and women werent generally considered people in the greek world </3 especially ancient athens, women were discouraged from leaving the house & if they did they had to cover their entire body head to toe. (to preserve their dignity and whatnot). i personally like a little more freedom than that so, no thanks <3

ur ideal first date>>>> literally perfect ideas. ESPECIALLY the bookstore i just love the idea of a cute lil bookstore date. & of course just walking and talking i feel like is so necessary to get to know someone yk?

being rejected from netball and taking it as a personal attack i feel u so hard. id be pissed if that happened to me.

and game night! monopoly game night sounds so fun. i actually cant play monopoly anymore cause i get so competitive and it makes me mad and it pisses everyone off LOL so ive been banned. i do love me some chess though.

art <3 omg have fun on saturday that sounds awesome. the closest art gallery to me is pretty lame most of the time which sucks cause i only get to see cool art when i travel which isnt a whole lot lmfao. cafe terrace at night is such a gorgeous work of art. i love van gogh sm. my mom is actually a painter and van gogh is her fav artist so she paints van gogh recreations its pretty cool.

answering qs!~

ideal first date: either art gallery or museum. there is nothing in this world i love more than art and history and humanity so being able to see it with someone i like & being able to infodump random fun facts about history would be the dream. ofc we have to stop at a bookstore (ideally we pick out books for each other cause i love that idea its so cute) and stargazing. i love the stories behind the constellations so its always fun to talk abt them.

rep vs lover: i think lover. its just so good and the vibes are astronomical. dont get me wrong i adore rep too but i think rep is better for when im feeling vengeful <3

hozier vs am: god this is so hard but i think im gonna have to say hozier. hes just such an incredible songwriter and his music i swear i can feel it in my BONES its so visceral. his lyrics rip me apart too theyre just so good.

i dont play sports. in general i hate sports and physical activity (except i do on occasion fuck up a game of badminton) i used to be a dancer and gymnast but that was a long time ago. i did a bit of volleyball when i was like. 11? 12? but i hated it.

fav board game: prob settlers of catan! idk what it is about it but i love that game. i love chess too but i get too competitive sometimes so.

take me to church vs work song: work song. "no grave can hold my body down, ill crawl home to her" ARE U KIDDING???? such a perfect song. i love tmtc so very much too. "i was born sick" hits different when ur a closeted little kid whos figuring life out

fav season: autumn forever. i just love the vibes and the temperature is usually perfect, not too hot not too cold. cozying up with a sweater and tea and a book is all i need. ofc winter is a close second cause christmastime.

fav food: probably pasta. my dad is from italy so i eat a lot of pasta. bolognese, chicken cacciatore, & penne alla vodka are personal favourites & my comfort foods.

fav marauder hc: i have a few random ones i love, like that james sings really loudly in the shower, that sirius was left handed (bc im left handed and i say so), also that regulus would be a black cat if he was an animagus. hes just got sm little black cat energy i love him. also lily being a night owl & james being an early bird, lily getting annoyed cause james is TOO happy in the early morning and shes just done w him.

one ship i hate: i HATED dorcas/peter in atyd. i know it was written way before dorlene got really popular but it was still such a jumpscare to read. also i know a lot of people seem to like them but regulus/remus?? personally no thanks. i can see why theyd be cute but sirius is the ONLY one for remus imo. i much prefer regulus and remus to be besties and talk shit ab sirius together cause they love him <3

patronus: ive done the test a few times and ive gotten rattlesnake, grey owl, & raven. personally i wouldve loved a cat but sadly no

favourite piece of art: ive got a few actually ( i love art sm.) loch lomond by gustave dore, wheat field with cypresses by van gogh, and hygieia by gustav klimt❤️

ginny or luna: luna. i love ginny SM but luna was my fav character as a kid so she has my heart. i also have her wand so its only fair i pick her <3

favourite restaurant: probably this one thats out in the city, theyve got the BEST gyoza ive ever had in my life. and they make good martinis so. but you cant go wrong with mcdonalds late at night when u need something greasy. also dairy queen (do u have those in the uk? i feel like theyre just in north america) has some good ass ice cream sundaes.

fav beverage: i love coffee, iced coffee to be specific. root beer and cream soda too. red sangrias and espresso martinis are top tier too.

qs for u!

whats one song ur convinced was written abt u?

patronus?

if u could only listen to 1 song for the rest of ur life, which song would u pick?

if u could have a superpower, which one would u want?

messy or organized?

favourite candy/chocolate/sweet?

if u could meet one dead historical figure, who would u choose?

take me to church vs work song.

whats your go-to hype songs when ur getting ready/going out?

fav type of weather?

fav thing youve ever dressed up as for halloween?

thats all for now! till next time <3

-bee

bee hi ! I thought you'd abandoned me , and I'm so glad you're back , I missed you !!!

OH MY GOD ??? you were star/comet gazing ??? that's so cool and so sirius of u !!! (also yes , take the photo , even the universe ships them, wolfstar 5ever.)

YES !!!! get u a man who learns French like James Potter would for regulus black !!! he is amazing , stellar , the one , the only , there is no one like him.

tay tay time !!! -

you belong with me - JEGULUS - I can see it as wolf star too , but I'll give it to regulus. like an au where reg and sirius and James were all best friends , and reg had a little crush on mr James the jock , but him having a gf , and regulus being all 'you belong with me' THEM

style- JILY- this could go for literally so many ships. like wolfstar , jily, anything. I chose jily , simply because i feel that just like the hook , james and lily never go out of style. and also lily would ask him about reg , and he would tell her the whole truth & nothing but the truth. in a muggle au i totally see them as on and off and on and off until they’re finally on again and this time it sticks forever.

london boy - WOLFSTAR - listen , I know remus is welsh (or half , at least) so I think of him meeting sirius in an au in some au , and being all 'DIMPLE' 'ACCENT' 'GOD I LOVE THE ENGLISH' (au/oneshot idea??) 'in the pub watching rugby with his school friends ??? yes yes yes , them them them !!! so them , I could cry !!!

chatting time <333

I too would watch anything and everything. save dwd , its reviews are terrible and I cba to check for myself.

'girl you don't have clouds or trees where you live ?' HOWLING THIS IS SO FUNNY. and true , honestly. what's so English and special about our clouds and trees?? if u show someone back home will they go 'ahh yess , this is an English cloud , native to the England !'

cats just tell it like it is. it's just the truth. cats for the win , I love cats u love cats we all do. we are humans and they're gods.

ik ik blaise/luna is a funny little side pairing and I love them they're actually so cute!!! (the fics are dhr and drarry so do take care of that !! but they're there. I love the little hints.)

LESSON MY LOAD OH MY GOD !!!! ON MY LIST , DOWNLOADED. (I love the sound of it. very interesting. I would also cry because of a red sock. I WOULD SUE. SUE.)

cringey series. hmm. I think I'll take a crack. I've braved through wattpad , I can brave through this too. I am a soldier after all.

IT'S THE SMILE I'M TELLING YOU IT'S THE SMILE. SOMETHING ABOUT HIM ,,, IT'S JUST SIRIUS.

drunk procrastinators forever !! (me because I have an exam in 45 minutes and I'm writing this rn instead of doing last minute revision ! but at least Lu's coming to pick me up !!!!! drivers r so good for ur health.)

I'm excited to write it. but I must get ahead with my writing of doa and sito. I'M SO EXCITED. it shall hurt ! it is fake/secret dating ! it is the bet trope !

IT'S ROYAL BUTTER INDEED. I have no idea why I felt the need to do that. but we shall march on and ignore the royal butter in the fridge.terry's chocolate oranges stay winning though >>> (did u see that video of the American/australian BITING into one ?? I almost cried like what the fuck u bitch u should be banned from Europe for this crime) TOBLERONE. MY DRUNK ARSE WANTED TOBLERONE. so does my sober arse though. so fair. fair. I see u drunk me. I see u.

it's so peaceful. straight out of the movie . (especially because it was raining too) and he was laughing whenever I stepped on him , and it was so sweet and ahhhhh !! try it , 'tis a remedy for all the types of pain ever !!! get u a best friend (liz would do it maybe ?) and dance. just dance , quite literally !!!!

jello salad is a hate crime. war crime. whoever created it should go to hell. with the salad. (I WILL BE TRYING POUTINE. IT SOUNDS SO GOOD OMG.)

colourful cars >>>> (remember to only do one cent. after all , they should be happy to have you in their car. really , you're doing them the favour.)

yes!!! lmk !!! I must know your opinions on them !!!

I keep getting like 3.2 km away from the actual answer and it's so annoying. like I'm sorry I guessed Ithaca and not buttfuck , usa.

WE DID LUCK OUT WE DID. they're actually the best people ever. no one will ever be better than them.(though , they lucked out too.) L NAMES 5EVER. LU AND LIZ 5EVER ACTUALLY !!!!!

LMFAO NOT THE ANTI-RIZZ.ur soulmate will like u !! I know they will !! and u have liz for now !! let's vibe and be drunk with our L best friends !! romantic love will come in its own time :))))) (also for me when I liked Victoria , it was me being like 'is she gay/queer/likes women ??? and then it was like - she did. but I found that out because she had a girlfriend. and she's kind of a bitch now that I don't like her. I hope she fails her exams , damn.)

omg likeafuneralls art is fucking magical !! I worship the art so much. I was actually thinking of printing them out and sticking them up on my wall !!!! and yes , so many James fcs !!! (my James is my personal favourite , but I'm biased) I adore all of them !!! (and omg I so get not having an fc too !! they're just ethereal .... no human will ever be good enough for them.)

HUGH AND TIMMY TIM TIM >>>>>>>>>> (I love them sm sm they r my heart. did u see the Apple TV ad where Timmy sees Gary Oldman ?? look it up you'll get what I mean.)

DUDE ME NEITHER. WE CAN BE SAD OVER THEM TOGETHER !!!!!! ( I was secretly trying to kill you, u figured out my plan !!!)

DID YOU SEE LIKEAFUNERALL’S ART OF THIS EXACT SITUATION?????? IT’S SO GOOD (she has soldier sirius , poet remus & king james)

WORK SONG MAKES ME CRY A LOT. "no grave can hold my body down , I'll crawl home to her" has been engraved into my brain. ENGRAVED I TELL U.

if u talk to caesar ask him how he felt before he died. was it like a Jesus style betrayal??? like did he at least get a little kiss before ??

tay I love tay tay changed my LIFE.

BOWIE BOWIE (STARMAN STARTS PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND) knee sock was so funny because when it started playing yesterday , I was wearing my knee socks under my t-shirt dress , and lu was wearing his sky blue Lacoste ??? like Alex turner was watching us fr fr.

here's my concert story - my best friend went to the 1975 concert. and he went , and he came back , and he said 'Matty had a special guest on tonight' and I was like 'who' and then he whipped out a tissue and gave it to me and was like 'Taylor' I SOBBED. SOBBED. (also will harry ever stop touring??? is he not tired??? and also I'm pretty mad at him for the 'never leave America' thing. bitch forgot where he came from.)

eruditessssss!!!

at least we're a different kind of fucked up now though ! that's good !

u r so very sirius. I dress in red and gold a lot , actually?? but I have a lot of colours. rn I'm in white and green !!! I love gold jewellery with all my heart it just hits different for me <33333

u better love cruel summer. but I SO GET BEING IN A dbm mood , because that's so real. poison ivyyyyy now I'm your daisyyyyyy.

bro now I'm scared. now my timbers have been shivered. (I'm on chapter two still for reference.) I LOVE LOVE LOVE . (and I heard them stolen lullabies all right)

gonna go buy one from the big Tesco 2nite , now you've convinced me. (Rome , the great city. of piss. and gladiators. but mostly piss.)

HALL BLOCKERS WILL GO TO HELL knock them bitches over like do u even know how many times I've been late because of them ??? little bastards.

two middle names is kinda fun actually. I can go by them if I won't (I don't want) and I just have more names in my name , yk?? ( one middle name is ALSO cool btw. )

it makes me cry a lil. (professor lupin???? no , uncle moony !!!!)

winter for me , because in England , even when it's summer , it's winter !!! (also thank u for calling it autumn , not fall.) BUT I LOVE AUTUMN TOO , PUMPKIN LATTES ARE STELLAR !!!

I have my chemistry exam tomorrow !! and I do bio too unfortunately. (I have the bio exam today. I feel queasy. ) BUT YEAH FUCK PHYSICS FUCK NEWTON FUCK ELECTRICITY !!!!!

I so get u bee , I too just wanna be magic.

eruditessssss!!! erudite erudite erudite !!!!

I love coins omg. I want them all. I'm on the lookout for the paddington one , and I feel it in the air. I think I'm very close to it. (also glow in the dark ??? that's so cool???)

nah , I get relating to a song so hard. I too relate to songs. ( u relating to mirrorball is so fucking real of u. so real.)

YES PHOENIX !!!! AND U CAN HEAL BASILISK TEARS TOO , DON'T FORGET !!!!! (unicorns>>>>)

I know , if not for the racism and other shit , I'd so visit the '50s. honestly , the old-times vibes and the dinners and just- ahhhhh. (damn misogyny is everywhere.that fucking sucks I hate that sm)

I KNOW I KNOW. the bookstore thing is so so so cool for me. (closest I've ever come is the grocery store at night with lu , but also we were drunk and also we bought so so so many things) and yes!! just chatting and laughing and having fun and - being , yk???

I did take it hard. I took it so hard. (I scored , but I still didn't get in?? well bitch damn I hope u lose every single game !!)

getting competitive with monopoly is something different (I've stolen some money before , and now I'm not allowed to be the banker !! so that sucks.) I'm going to learn chess one day. I will. I want to play. I shall learn it.

OMG SISGDLIWQHVDJLWQVCBX your mom sounds so cool???? Van Gogh recreations ??? I salute her she sounds fucking amazing (cafe terrace at night is just it for me. I love it. I even have a notebook with it on the front !!!)

---- I'm taking a break from answering because I have to go do a fuckin exam now give me a second ----

back now lmfao totally fucking flunked fuck biology & fuck life , but at least my arse is being warmed and i’m listening to taylor. (i think i’m being driven to the bakery. i think. he won’t say anything. but we’re not going home for sure.)

YOUR MOM JUST GETS IT FR FR. van gogh is my favourite artist too , so she understands. he a tortured soul me a tortured soul. done & dusted.

reviewing your q’s

OMG THAT’S SO CUTE ????? I’M IN TEARS ????? that’s so romantic omg i hope u get that one day i really really do.(feel free to info dump on me anytime.) AND YESSSS ART AND HISTORY AND HUMANITY STAY WINNING ALWAYS (my favourite art museum is tate and fave history one is the natural history museum in central london i love it so so much.) AHHH OMG PICKING OUT BOOKS FOR EACH OTHER ??? (and annotating them and talking about them and showing each other and oh my god romance romance 💘) I LOVE CONSTELLATIONS TOO. as an ex-astronomy student , i understand the stories and fucking love info-dumping about them. (lu has been the unfortunate victim of most of this dumping.)

rep for when you are in ur rep era is so real. I need that album for killing and revenge and shit. lover is the vibe i want my life to feel like , so i’d pick lover too.

HOZIER IS IN MY BONES. I TOO WANT TO CRAWL OUT OF MY GRAVE. I TOO WANT TO WORSHIP AT SOMEONE’S SHRINE. I TOO WANT TO BE THE ANGEL OF SMALL DEATH AND THE CODEINE SCENE!!!!!! hozier > am (i love am too though don’t get me wrong they’re bae<333)

i hate physical activity too , mate. . I LIKE BADMINTON TOO SOMETIMES THAT SHUTTLECOCK IS FUN TO BAT AROUND. (only sometimes.) all i shall do is watch lu do his sports. i shall do nothing else. (hating sports is so valid of us !!!)

take me to church hits different but work song >>> no grave can hold my body down FUVKING CHANGED MY LIFE. i will rise from the dead for my other half when i die.

u described it so right , autumn is like that. just right. very remus of you , methinks. BUT CHRISTMAS FOR THE WIN , I’M SORRY !!!

ooh , an italian *does the hands* (sorry but you know i had to) you said a lot of pasta i will have to now eat. i will eat all of them. me , personally , my dad is portuguese a so i got a fucking range of food when i was a kid . like francesinha , bacalhau , caldo verde >>>> (sandwich , fish , soup in that order. all vv spicy.)

HE SO HAS THAT BLACK CAT ENERGY. regulus black is a black cat 2023 spread the word. as a shower singer , i vv much agree james would do that. oooh sirius is a left-hand. yk what i actually like that one . JILY AGENDA WHERE SHE’S THE SLEEPY ONE AND HE’S THE GET UP AND GO ONE <3333

I too do not much rate the dorcas/peter. it’s surprising now especially because of the dorlene and how i think they’re perfect for each other. so obviously , i don’t want them to get with anyone else . and reg/remus ??? that’s odd. i might be hoodwinked into reading a one-shot here & there but nothing more than that.

rattle snake , grey owl and raven ??? that’s a slytherin if i ever saw one. (also ravenclaw potential tbh.) and what a range of animals ??? fabulous.

I LOOKED AT THEM AND OH MY GOD THEY’RE SO GOOD ???? I LOVE THEM TOO NOW DAMN THEY’RE FABULOUS.

u have luna’s wand. i am very jealous rn. (love ginny but i agree with your decision to pick luna. i love her too much to pick anyone else.)

gyoza sounds so good. i could really go for some rn. (late night mcdonalds SMACKS.) and no we don’t have dairy queen in the uk. is that like an ice cream thing ?? sounds like that?? i want to try that now.

iced coffee >>>> AND OH MY GOD THERE’S THIS SODA AT THE CORNER SHOP ‘BARRS CREAM SODA’ I GET IT SO OFTEN IT’S MY FAVOURITE FIZZY DRINK EVER AHHHH. (i need 2 try sangria. i need to. ‘tis on my list.)

my q’s. -

this is me trying . there’s probably more that I can’t think of rn , but this is me trying. I am this is me trying. i used to be the one gifted kid who got rlly high scores without trying and now i have to do twice as much work for a fucking B. which is annoying. but yeah! ( I might tell u more if I remember them next time.)

black swan! i think that’s pretty cool actually !!!!

my tears ricochet. (or cruel summer) but if i had to choose , my tears ricochet. EVERY FUCKING TIME. ‘STOLEN LULLABIES OOOWIWOHOOO’

shapeshifting !! i think i’d love to shapeshift. it’d be so fun , i’m a snake , i’m a lion , i’m an old woman , i’m a muscle man. FUNNNN.

messy as fuck. 90% of the time my socks come back from the wash and at least one is missing at all times. fucking dk where they go man.

YOU HAVE UNLOCKED SOMETHING HERE.okay , terry’s chocolate orange & smarties. I fucking LOVE smarties (& toblerone of course , we mustn’t forget the Toblerone.) AND ALSO JAFFA CAKES. CANNOT CHOOSE ONE.

SHAKESPEARE. need 2 ask about the ‘fair youth’ and also about his wife & about his plays and ahhhh. i love his plays sm and i just really would love to meet him<333

work song. i love take me to church sm , but work song . why??? “NO GRAVE CAN HOLD MY BODY DOWN , I’LL CRAWL HOME TO HER.”

promiscous , worth it , one look , knee socks , jealous (nj) , & …ready for it ? THESE ARE CLASSICSSSS . HIGHLY RECOMMEND THIS MIX.

snow. by far. love making snowmen , n dressing them up and snowball fights. love it so so so much.

i did lady macbeth (n lu was macbeth) at a halloween party once!! I loved it vv much the fake blood and the scorpion prop , and the crown i made for lu. very realistic. (second is it and georgie. u know who it was and who georgie was. take a guess .)

q’s for u -

fuck marry kill - lily , pandora , marlene.

fuck marry kill - regulus , barty, evan.

what do you love spending money on ?

tell me one inside joke you have with liz (or just anyone, i only assume you’d have more with liz)

one weird fear you have?

weirdest dare you’ve taken in a game of truth or dare?

worst random impulse buy?

your favourite quote ever ?

your favourite quote from a fic ?

ever met a celeb ? (which one if yes?)

favourite snack ?

do u have a crush on anyone ? (skip this one if you don’t want to answer it & I’m terribly sorry if I’ve made you uncomfortable!!!)

Who knows you best ?

lover (the song) vs getaway car?

all time favourite moment in your life ?

what’s your favourite moment with liz ? (curious to cut into that bff dynamic)

r(egg) or r(edge)?

do you speak any other languages (except english)?

bee bee bee <333 until next time , my friend. come back soon , or else i’ll start worrying.

[shixen]

The Worst

Eggs!

The chain on his glasses is pretty sick actually

Me and my squad of eggs

This looks like some apocalyptic shit

There's a whole burnt out car right there

Good job sticking up for yourself Madoka

Oh my god thats fucking brutal with the bikes. Some Kiryu from yakuza shit

Fujio knows how to admit to his mistakes

Madoka please marry me

Sad back story time

Are the cucumbers pickled are they just eating whole raw cucumbers?

My one true love Murayama

JUMP AROUND

That was a long fight choreo without a cut

Using other kids as a shield is not cool Todoroki

Split the party

Who is this little marsupial. Awful hair

Damn Tsukasa just volunteer your friend for an ass kicking like that

Nut punch!

The choreography is really nice in this one

Chunchun bordering on racism

Yasushi is pocket sized and adorable, so he probably has rabies

Kiyoshi is at least 37 years old

Damn the camera work is reeeeally nice actually

No one deserves Madoka

How is this a functioning school? Where are the teachers?

Tsukasa has the face of a korean female lead

Murayama has trouble holding down a job. Seems legit

Kotaro has a scary dad

Arata pushing drugs

Madoka is a fucking angel

This dude is tweeeeaking

I think Arata is a mole

Murayama I'd die for you

Fujio you're getting too big for your boots

Shaky camera is shaky

Sachio should run a yoga and wellness retreat. Yuken would be there every day

Madoka you could take him

Tetsu! Chiharu! Just boys getting sundaes together

Screaming about a strawberry is very fair

Yakitori building

Murayama is having a thought, that could be dangerous

I'm pretty sure Kotaros dad is a character model for a Dojima lieutenant

Fujio is gonna get stabbed by someone who's name he's butchered

I think maybe Sachio needs someone to talk to, like a cat or a therapist

Murayama should never feel sad, its heartbreaking to watch such crackhead feel the blues.

Fuck Cobra hang out with Murayama. He needs to be socialised like an angry cat

Yasushi is also a feral cat. Oya is like the biggest cat colony in japan

I dont think he goes to that school

I dont think any of these people go to either of these schools

School battle

Just realised Todoroki's guy has rainbow flag hair. Confirmed gay boys

Todoroki kuudere as fuck

Jamuo you pathetic little frog

Todoroki's eyebrows are so sharp

Slomo water shot

Ooooh drones in the budget

"Its over" meanwhile Yasushi has severe head trauma

Murayama the supportive hyung. Always comes exactly when he's needed (I guess it would be aniki but has has solid hyung energy)

Has anyone checked on Yasushi? He was bleeding from the skull last time we saw him.

Oh wait there he is. He walked it off I guess

Ohhh mum with cancer, its a classic

Oh damn did they kill Arata?

Todoroki you saucy little minx

Damn wearing the bloody jacket? That's badass

Tweakers man

"Whats wrong with these guys?" Theyre all on fucking drugs dawg

Team work defeats tweakers

This is the ultimate twink conglomerate

Todoroki serves great face when he's fighting

Murayama my love once again just when you're needed

JUMP AROUND

Oosh that was a good clothesline

The cucumbers are a metaphor?

I think they do hurt Fujio, I think your face is bleeding

They're crying about friendship. Its a staple I guess

Sometimes you just have to punch your friend until they agree with you

Good screaming, healthy screaming

It's okay to cry boys, let it all out

Still talking about cucumbers for some reason

Don't worry everyone we beat the shit out of the methheads and the day is saved

Damn they got in a real actor to play Arata huh

Madoka has perfect taste in men

One last punch off, between friends

Kiyoshi literally holding Yasushi back

Murayama you fucking beauty

I am watching every HiGH&LoW movie back to back and simply allowing my brain to drip out of my ears

Its how I want to go out

I am taking notes for introspection though, to report my findings

[chal-latte]

Hiiii I love how intimate and lovely everything you do feels, it's so wonderful and fills my heart with absolute warmth 💞💘! Could I request a director or cinematographer y/n x timothee smau 🥰

A/N: HIII Thankyou smm!! and thanks for always supporting what i make here 😋 i hope this does ur request justice <3

y/i/n recently added a story!

y/i/n we in it in here 🎥

tchalamet

Liked by y/i/n, zendaya and 2.792.920 others

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fanpage88 hes staring at my soul

fanpage16 they look like simba and timon lol

↪️ y/i/n NOOOOO😭😭😭😭 ima take it as a compliment

↪️ fanpage16 @y/i/n dont say you style them too??

↪️ y/i/n @fanpage16 🫢

↪️ fanpage16 @y/i/n MISS GIRL I AM SORRY I DIDNT MEAN NO DISRESPECT THEY LOOK ABSOLUTELY SCRUMPTIOUS 🍽🍽

fanpage49 y/n directs AND styles what cant she do???

fanpage18 do you mind if i call you daddy? i heard ur daddy didnt mind if we call him daddy

fanpage99 z with her j’s off 🤣🤣🤣 shes so me

zendaya damn who got you gazing like that

↪️ tchalamet the director

↪️ zendaya @tchalamet y/n’s curling like a goofball beside me rn

fanpage59 IF I WERE Y/N I’D DIE

fanpage37 EKJFJSNXNS I CAN RELATE

fanpage38 he doesnt even have to say shit to make me curl like a goofball

y/i/n

Liked by tchalamet, dunemovie and 1.899.229 others

y/i/n pov ur me

tagged: @tchalamet @hunterschafer @zendaya @dunemovie

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dunemovie our sihaya in real life✨

↪️ y/i/n my heart flutters🥹🌸

fanpage28 we rly love ur work y/n and we appreciate the amount of time love work and energy you’ve put into this masterpiece

fanpage38 BEST DIRECTOR 2022

fanpage15 absolute MASTERPIECE!!! you deserve to win this years oscars my love

tchalamet DYOOOOOONE

↪️ y/i/n muad’dib 🛐🛐

↪️ tchalamet @y/i/n my beloved sihaya

↪️ y/i/n @tchalamet babeeeeeeeeeee😮‍💨

fanpage59 NOT TIM CALLING Y/N SIHAYA IRL IM- 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

hunterschafer why did timothee get to meet brad pitt and i dont

↪️ y/i/n one day you’ll get to meet my daddy

↪️ hunterschafer @y/i/n ur daddy is in london rn brad pitt is mine.

fanpage50 OOP-

fanpage82 DO YOU KNOW WHOS IN LDN RN? RIGHT. TIMOTHEE

fanpage56 OOOOOH SHIIIT THINGS J GETTING HOTTER AND HOTTER

fanpage39 PARENTS

zendaya

Liked by y/i/n, jacobelordi and 8.929.018 others

zendaya pov you’re really @y/i/n

tagged: @y/i/n @jacobelordi @tchalamet

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tchalamet who’s that pretty girl on the last slide

↪️ y/i/n the best and youngest director in this century. sinon ta meuf <3

↪️ tchalamet @y/i/n i believe its the latter

*Liked by @y/i/n and @zendaya

fanpage42 ik theyre dating but everytime they say it like that im gone

fanpage50 WHO IS. THT PRETTY GIRL. 😭😭😭😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😭😭😭😭😭

fanpage28 i want to be y/n i want to be her i want to kiss her

jacobelordi she asked me to take a picture of her but she still directs the angle like i dont know how to take a picture with a good angle??

↪️ y/i/n its only natural atp

fanpage17 i love y/n and her friendships

fanpage21 queen what did it feel like to be able to film with ur close friends

↪️ zendaya if there are y/n and timothee every ground is a playground, so its good ❤️

↪️ y/i/n @zendaya yeaaaahhh baby👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

fanpage12 i love when y/n friends post ab her <3

maudeapatow little cinnamon rolls

fanpage77 u guys r so loved

fanpage34 theyre the it girl of the year including tim

tchalamet mentioned @y/i/n in a story!

tchalamet the beauty and brain behind it all

[xgryffinwhore]

september nights

request:  i was wondering if you could write another soft bill smut? i don’t really have a specific plot in mind, we’re just really lacking content on tumblr rn :( in some really precarious place where they don’t want to get caught

warnings: soft smut, like i mean very soft.

word count: 2118

before your lips met bill denbrough’s, love was always, to say the least, a conundrum. lets be real for second, boys wasted your time, and you let them. only the cute ones of course. you are a hopeless romantic, drunk off of molly ringwald and john travolta films. you wanted any relationship you had to be just like the movies.

through your heart breaks, your best friends stood by you, your losers. eddie, richie, bev, stan, ben, and bill. for each tear you shed a punch was thrown to the man who caused it, they were protective over you. bill the most though, he always got so defensive when you were in the mix. all throughout middle & high school, bill has had to deal with every guy who even dares to think about breaking your heart.

“its not fair bill” you wailed into your pillow. he stroked your back and hushed you, his eyes welling with tears. “im never fucking good enough for any guy and its so fucking sad!” your complaints being cut off mid sentence by a choked out cry. “y-y/n. all of y-your boyfriend are i-idiots. anyone w-who would d-d-do this to you isnt w-worth your t-time. anyone w-would be the luckiest in the w-world to have y-you in their life” you picked your head up and looked at him with swollen lips and blood shot eyes “there no one out there for me bill, no one.” 

he bit his lip, fighting back any tears dripping from his eyes “they j-just dont see how p-pretty you are. how g-gentle and caring and s-s-sweet, and h-how your face c-can light up any room. theyre f-fucking idiots, and you d-deserve m-more.” you clearly thought he was being nice, because you could take a MOTHER FUCKING GOD DAMN hint, so you replied “i wish there was someone out there like you, for me, that thinks of me the way you do.” 

he furrowed his brows, tossing his head back and running his fingers furiously through his hair. “d-dammit y/n!” he cursed “cant you s-see what ive b-been trying to say? w-w-what ive been t-trying to say f-for the last f-five years!?!” your expression was bewildered, your brain was going a mile a minute trying to figure out what he meant. his frustration got the best of him, he got up and stormed out the door,  feeling embarrassed and stupid for trying to make you understand how he felt.

he was half way out your front door, fuming for his keys lodged deep into his front pocket; when suddenly:

“bill!”

his head turned at the call of his name, “y-y/n please i d-”

smack.

your lips locked with his, he rain pouring heavily outside. bills lips stilled at the contact, but this lasted briefly, he deepened this kiss by pulling you in to his abdomen by your mid back. your bunched the front of his base ball t shirt with your fists, and he did the same but with your hair.

the rest is basically history.

now six months later, and you couldnt have been happier. bill knew how to treat you, nights out twice a week (you always wanted to pay but bill insisted,) holding your hand to and from classes, he let you borrow have his varsity baseball jacket, which smelt just like him and was a little too big for you. 

when he would drop you off and your classes, he would always grab your hand and transfer a tiny piece of paper into your palm. when you got into class to unfold it, it was always a cute little message about his love for you. 

bill had it bad for you, everyone knew that, and you loved every minute of it. he met every and any standard you had, and exceeded your expectations. 

it was september, still warm enough in derry to wear shorts, so you and your friends thought of a last hurrah for the ending of the summery weather.

“camp out, its nearly perfect” Richie exclaimed. eddie rolled his eyes “like youve ever been near anything perfect toizer, do you even know what perfect means?” richie shoved eddie “yeah eddie i actually have. have you seen amanda’s tits?”

 you tuned out richie and eddies bickering as you’re boyfriend cleared his throat. “you g-gonna go?” he said into your ear, “only if you promise to wear bug spray bill, you know how bad-” he cut you off with a kiss, his mouth forming a small smile at how cute you were. “get a room, honestly” stan poked, pda wasn’t his favorite... “at least i h-have something to k-kiss aye s-stannie”

you arrived at the edge of the forest, parking your car at the last parking ish space. you walked toward the sounds of ben and richie fighting, and came to see that richie really went all out. three tents, sticks for a fire, and more snacks than anyone needed. 

you all spent the remanence of the daylight dancing in the light sky, sharing stories, and eating waaaay too many chips. it was dark now, you all huddled in a circle near the fire; making small talk and trying not to admit you were all very tired.

“ok folks, im off to bed” richie yawned “me stan eddie n’ mike will take the green tent, bev and ben in the red.” richie paused and smirked over at you and bill, you were tangled in his limbs, golfed in his navy blue pull over. “and uh- heh- billy boy and y/n in the yellow tent eh?” you could practically feel bills eye roll, god richie was so immature.

“w-we dont have to s-sleep in the s-s-same tent, i c-can ask ben if he’d s-switch” you look up at bill and reassure him “bill no- its not a big deal, right?” he tucks your hair behind your ear and kisses the side of your temple “c-course not.”

you both went into the tent, bill began to unroll the blankets you both had packed tightly into your bags. You both set up your makeshift bed, bill leaned against a pile of pillows while you hugged his side, your face buried in his neck. his smell was absolutely intoxicating; his skin had remanence of his milk and honey body wash, but it was slightly overpowered by wintergreen, clove, and his bourbon cologne. 

you were like this for around an hour, the orange crank-powered lantern being the only source of light. you switch positions though, you now laid your head on his lap, reading a magazine you stole from the hair salon. he watched your eyes scan every letter, when you read something funny you’d huff to yourself, and when something was intresting you stuck your tongue out from between your teeth. he adored you.

“d-dont stay up t-too late” he stroked your hair off your shoulder “we have t-to have you w-well r-r-rested.” you sat up from beside him, as he adjusted the pillows and took off his pull over, then his pants. he got under the covers and waited for you.

“nice donut boxers” you laughed. “s-shut up” he blushed and regreted not changing them when he had the chance. you turned around took off your shirt, you were shy about how you looked, but it was just bill. it was just bill. you heard his breath hitch, his eagerness radiating off his body onto yours. the air became tense as you unzipped your pants and threw them to the corner. you turned around, bills pupils growing until you were completely facing him.

“yeah i know. mine are boring” you laugh nervously, brushing your hair behind your ear and getting under the covers next to him. he didnt respond, he couldnt take his eyes off of you.you began to sit up again “i can go put back on-” “n-no!” he interrupts, his blush taking up his entire face.

“i j-j-just cant b-believe i g-get to see something s-so special” he gulped “s-so b-b-b-beautiful.”

you grabbed him by his shoulders and kissed him, hard. youve been with boys before, i mean youve dated plenty of people. but no one ever called your body special. hot, yeah. nice, yeah. beautiful, sure. but no one ever thought that it was special. 

bill was a kind boy, the most you two have ever done is get each other off with your hands, always clothed. bill never asked to see more, he felt lucky enough just to make you feel good, and that was enough for him. so when you felt the heat of his hands hovering over your body but not touching it, you new you’d have to call the shots tonight.

“bill,” you laid down “just touch me everywhere, please.” he crawled in between your legs, kneeling so that he could lean over your face “m-my pleasure.”

he traced your collar, leaving small, delicate, kisses to make up for what his fingers left behind as they trailed. he kissed the valley between your breasts, licking slow striped down your skin. he picked up your upper back a little and cocked his head to the side, you nodded and he unclipped your bra. he sat their with his mouth open, taking in the view. you blushed and muttered “hey, keep that mouth to good use.” he dipped down and sucked on your nipples, his mouth felt so good against your skin grazed with goosebumps. he was gingerly with his tongue, it was sexy, it was romantic. he kissed down your stomach, his fingers sweeping down your sides. you could see his member pressing against his boxers, the pressure made him wince every once in a while. his fingers met your panties and he hooked them. again, he looked up for permission, you nodded once again. 

he brought your underwear down your legs and off, looking back to see what he had relieved. he licked his lips, getting ready to please you more than he already did. but you felt bad, bill always gave gave and gave. “its ok, im ready right now.” bill looked up at you in shock, he wasnt expecting you’d want to go all the way. “y/n, y-youre sure?” you lean up and kiss his lips, swiping your tongue against his bottom lip “please.”

he pulled down his boxers eagerly, his member sprung out to hit his stomach. he lined up with you, checking once more that it was ok. then he pushed in, bottoming out. he felt bigger than you thought, of course he was well endowed, but he filled you up so well. you mewled, the pain and pleasure making a delicious feeling that made your toes curl.

he waited, but began slowly moving after a bit. he grunted, feeling you wrapped around him was something he’d never be able to get out of his head he thought to himself. he grunted “f-fuck this feels g-good’ he grunted, his breath becoming heavy and full of lust. with every stroke, you felt yourself get more and more lost in the bliss he made you feel. “youre making me feel so good  bill” you moan, the sound of his name coming out of your mouth driving him absolutely crazy. he speeds up, loving the view of your face contorting in pleasure and your body moving with his. 

he couldnt help but feel admiration to you, your hair formed a halo around your head, and the sweat that coated your skin made you glisten in the orange light. “im t-the luckiest in the world” he husks, holding your cheek. 

you felt the knot in your core coming undone, “bill im close” you strain, trying not to be too loud so you dont wake your friends. he moved your leg up to his shoulder, hitting you from a different, deeper angle. his fingers went to your clit, making you bite your had to stop you from screaming. “you l-look so p-pretty y/n, t-taking me s-so well. making y-you feel so good.” “so good bill” you repeat, drunken off his cock and fingers. 

without warning, you came came, your legs spazzing as you moaned “fuck bill” he followed, his hips stuttering, as he cried out into your shoulder. he pulled out and laid next to you, both of you breathing heavily and coming off your highs. 

“y/n” he looked at you “t-that was really j-just wow- thank y-you.” you kissed him, chaste and sweet “that was great yeah?” “it w-was perfect babe. t-thank you f-for t-that. i love you y-y/n.”

“i love you too bill.”

he sat up, his fingers dancing on your inner thigh.

“y/n?”

“yeah?”

“c-can we p-please do t-that again?”