#but they’re also happy? and successful? and functioning adults? god i take so much comfort from this

[doublemegative]

finished new girl and really i think the biggest takeaway from this story is that it’s so important to be super gay for your friends

[unforth]

Could you elaborate on the parallels between the Scorpion and his dad and WKX and Purple Danger? I find that thought really interesting! <3

Oh my god you're asking me for meta? No one asks me for meta!!! Getting this made me so happy, thank you! And yes, I'd be delighted to!

Lemme preface this by saying: I have not read the book, and I've only seen episodes 1 through 27, and while I do know some spoilers for past what I've seen, I don't know everything, and I obviously can't speak to changes in dynamics that may happen past what I've watched.

So, I noted in this post that I felt like I'd just gotten slapped in the face by the parallels between Zhao Jing, and his relationship with Xie-er, and Wen Kexing, and his relationship and Gu Xiang. Specifically, the lines in episode 26 that caught me were these:

And the contrasts and similarities that they drew to these scene from Episode 24, which I watched yesterday:

(all screen caps are by me - I won’t have more screen caps just cause I really don’t have time to hunt them all down, I’m sorry, but the first two were easy to grab, and the second two I’d already taken cause that scene really got to me yesterday).

These lines, coming only two episodes apart, seemed like a really stark and deliberate effort to show a connection in the attitudes of Zhao Jing and Wen Kexing. They've also got some similarities in the childhood/history that got them to this point: Zhao Jing's family was fallen from grace, as was Wen Kexing's. Both are noted as seeming different from the "regular" people around them - Wen Kexing, it's explicit; with Zhao Jing, it's more how others seem to behave around him. It's harder to get a sense of Zhao Jing, since his own self-report is so dubious and the flashbacks we get to the Rong Xuan era are all given from the perspective of different unreliable narrators, whereas Wen Kexing's memories seem fairly intact (well, water of forgetfulness aside) and match the other remembrances we get of the same scenes.

With those similar, dubious foundations, they both resolve from a young age to take revenge for the perceived slights committed against them - and both have decided that regardless of who the specific instigators are for their suffering, they have no compunction about involving innocents as a whole. Zhao Jing wants the power he feels has been denied to him, and sets about conspiring to get that power. To achieve that, he sets about on a course that involves lying and using literally everyone who can help him. Likewise, while I'm still definitely missing some damn important of Wen Kexing's backstory (starting with, who protected the dog for him, and how he went from "kid getting regularly beaten by the previous ghost king" to "adult who is said to have literally eaten the previous ghost king"), he also clearly sets out to gain power through whatever means he can, and to survive, though from the get-go, his goal is essentially the inverse of Zhao Jing's: Zhao Jing wants to lift himself up, and sees nothing but virtue in doing so; Wen Kexing wants to bring everyone else down, and knows he's damned through-and-through for it.

(They're parallels, not matches, just to be clear! It's not that I'm saying everything is the same - on the contrary, it's the differences that makes it so intriguing).

Now, then, at some point relatively early in this entire process, each of these young men found a child. Given that Xie’er and Wen Kexing and Zhou Zishou are of the same generation, presumably they’re all around the same age - 27 or so - and also presumably, the previous generation were all in their late teens to early twenties when they had their own disastrous round of adventuring. So, if Xie’er is, say, 25, and Zhao Jing was probably around 20 (since he was one of the younger folks in the flashbacks), and 20 years have passed, and Xie’er was probably around the same age as child Wen Kexing when he was found? (I don’t know, and I don’t know if that’s ever established, sorry) So around 7? Then we’ve Xie’er being adopted by Zhao Jing and Wen Kexing being adopted by the Ghost King, each almost exactly 20 years ago. Presumably, also, Zhao Jing marries...drat, I can’t remember her name...was it Li Yao or something???...right around the same time - hence why Xie’er would think of her as a mother. Anyway, sorry, I’m really tired and I just lost the thread slightly, but the point is: a 20-or-so-year-old Zhao Jing finds a young Xie’er; and a few years later, a likely-early-teens-aged Wen Kexing finds a toddler Gu Xiang (because Wen Kexing is 27 now, and Gu Xiang is I’m guessing around 18, and she’s likely 3ish when Wen Kexing finds her, so that’d make her 3 or 4, and him 12 or 13). 

And here’s where the parallels really show the essential differences between these men, despite the areas of commonality in the hate they hold toward the world and their desire to see the world brought low.

Because, given a small child, Wen Kexing’s immediate, clear thought is: I will never let this child experience what I have been through. Now, he’s busted, and he’s crazy, so from that point of view, he still does her harm: she thinks of murder as nothing (as does Xie’er) for example. But even in that, the motivations are different. Gu Xiang says it herself after she kills the beggar and Cao Weining confronts her about it: if a person is out to harm her, if a person even might harm her, isn’t she justified in killing him? If that isn’t the quintessential Wen Kexing lesson right there, I don’t know what is: “Gu Xiang, you don’t kill because I tell you to, and you don’t kill for fun, and you don’t kill for no reason - but the moment, the very instant, you have a reason? Don’t hesitate, because if you do, you’ll be the corpse, not them.” Everything Wen Kexing teachers Gu Xiang is with the aim of helping her survive in the cruelest environment in the world, one that has flayed him and raked him over the coals over and over and over again. Further, despite the hints I’ve seen so far that he has early allies at Mount Qingya (Tragicomic Ghost has been shown to at minimum pity him, and find him an odd curiosity), Wen Kexing entrusts no one else with the most vulnerable creature who has ever come into his life (well, aside from that adorable puppy, which I have the bad feeling is going to be shown to be horribly murdered before his eyes, possibly by his own hand to prove a point...that would be thematically appropriate...). He gives Gu Xiang the tools to survive and fight for herself, even against him, and when she even begins to suggest she might prefer to be somewhere else - when he sees evidence of her finding happiness - he does everything he can to encourage her joy, support her happy ending, and free her. Wen Kexing is Gu Xiang’s father, in every useful interpretation of the term - she may call him master, and others might call her his maid, but their relationship is tender, encouraging, mutually supportive, and loving. Wen Kexing wants what is best for Gu Xiang, even at the expense of his own comfort and happiness, because he cares for her that essentially and deeply - and she likewise goes out of her way to protect him more than once.

MEANWHILE.

Given a small child, though I haven’t yet seen any flashbacks to when Xie’er was little and I don’t even know if there are any, it’s really obvious that Zhao Jing instantly goes, “how can I best use this to my advantage?” Instead of setting about to build this child up to be a functional adult who can stand up to the challenges that threatened to crush Zhao Jing’s life, Zhao Jing deliberately sabotages Xie’er’s ability to function as an independent unit. He teachers Xie’er to kill, not to protect himself, but on command - to kill because Zhao Jing says so, who Zhao Jing says, on even the merest whim, and is so successful at doing so that Xie’er has even less respect for life than Zhao Jing does (which was never much to begin with). Further, while we know that Wen Kexing will kill to protect Gu Xiang, Zhao Jing never so much as lifts a finger to do his own dirty work, and has zero compunction about throwing Xie’er under the bus when he suits his ends. In 27, he flat out says - “if you keep acting like this, and kill the Gentle Wind Sect, you’ll ruin me - which means I can never let you stand next to me in public.” He says this when he knows that Xie’er craves his approval and that one of Xie’er’s most cherished objects in all he’s done is to reach a point where he can stand at Zhao Jing’s shoulder as an acknowledged heir and successor and proudly say, “yes, I did all those things to help my father, because I’m a good son.” Further, Zhao Jing is constantly abusive and manipulative. When Xie’er does what Zhao Jing has trained him to do, on command (like a dog? more parallels??), Zhao Jing praises him, touches him kindly (and when else do you think Xie’er is ever getting touched kindly? Nothing like the casual and appropriate physical intimacy with which Wen Kexing and Gu Xiang shoulder bump and interact) and tells him how precious he is. The instant Xie’er steps a toe out of line, Zhao Jing denigrates him, threatens to take away that which Xie’er most wants (acknowledgement), scolds him, calls him a fool, says he doesn’t understand. Zhao Jing calls Xie’er his son, and insists that Xie’er call him yifu, and the world may even see that way - though they hardly can, since Zhao Jing refuses to be publicly associated with Xie’er - but they couldn’t be less related when compared to Wen Kexing, who allows all to see him call Gu Xiang his servant even as he flagrantly, publicly, repeatedly treats her as his child - culminating in the speech he gives Cao Weining when he gives permission for them to wed.

Everything Wen Kexing does, as fucked up as some of it is, is done with the aim of building Gu Xiang up into a strong, independent, functional adult who is less stained than himself and capable of pursuing happiness in the world.

And everything Zhao Jing does, all of which is equally if not more fucked up than what Wen Kexing does, is done with the aim of tearing Xie’er down, making him a powerful tool - a trained dog, if you will - and a dependent person who can be deployed on an enemy and must be kept permanently off-balance so that he never ever is an independent, functional adult - and, to help ensure that, he deliberately orders Xie’er to commit depraved acts that guarantee that Xie’er is more stained than himself, and therefore incapable of finding happiness in the world.

Anyway, I could probably go on, but I gotta leave to drive my kid to school and run a couple errands, but, in conclusion: when Zhao Jing said, “the world has failed me, and I shall do the same to the world,” and it became clear to me that he and Wen Kexing essentially share (or at least shared) the same core goal, I was struck by a lightning bolt about the parallels and contrasts between them as people, and them as father’s, and here you go.

Hope this is coherent, I’m really sleepy and in a rush. :D And I hope it answers your question!

(Also dear everyone: if you reply to this or add to it in reblogs I ask that you please respect that I’ve only seen to episode 27, and not rip me apart for things I haven’t seen yet, and try to avoid giving me spoilers? I know a few - or at least I think I do - like I know all the Major Character Death stuff - but I’m sure if you’ve seen the whole series you can spot places where you, dear reader, know things I don’t, and I’d ask that you not ruin those places for me, because I’m watching as fast as I can - about one episode a day - and I’d rather find out for myself. Thank you!)

[myaekingheart]

kakashi for the ask game! :D

Oh this is gonna be dangerous xD (and also really fucking long I’m so sorry lmfao)

send me a character and i’ll list...

favorite thing about them It’s so hard to pick, but I think his resilience. Kakashi has genuinely been through hell and back and yet he keeps going. His character development in Naruto is one of my absolute favorite things, the way he starts out as this seemingly apathetic but deep down very guarded character who ultimately grows to love his students and make peace with his past and finally find some happiness. He’s the man who lost everything and still keeps going and maybe it’s just because I, too, am a depressed bitch but that’s always bee super comforting to me and felt very reassuring. Like if Kakashi can hit rock bottom but pull himself up out of that pit and find happiness and success, then so can I.

least favorite thing about them I don’t even know if I have a least favorite thing about him. I honestly love everything about him. I guess the closest thing I can get to a least favorite thing would be that I wish we saw more of him goofing off and having tons of fun like when he and Guy raced in Shippuden. Hearing Kakashi laugh and joke around was just so good for my soul.

favorite line Oh no there are so many, I can’t pick just one. My favorite contenders are: “Leaf Village Secret Finger Jutsu: One Thousand Years of Death!” “Behind this mask...is another mask! Pretty cool, huh?” “I’m telling you this because you don’t get it. You think you get it which is not the same as actually getting it, get it?” “Those who break the rules are scum but those who would abandon a comrade are worse than scum” “I won’t allow my comrades to die. I’ll protect you with my life. Trust me.” “It’s like an acorn.” “Sorry I’m late, I’m afraid I got lost on the path of life.” “Sorry I’m late, a black cat crossed my path and I had to take the long way around.” “For those who follow the path of revenge, it never ends well. You’ll only tear yourself apart and even if you succeed and you get your revenge, what will you get then? Nothing. Emptiness.” “So it looks like neither of us have led a charmed life exactly. But still, we’re not all that bad off. At least you and I have found new comrades to help fill the void.” “Calm down, Naruto. Slow your breathing down” (mainly because this scene just gets me every time as someone who has had severe panic attacks for twenty years lmfao) There was also another “sorry I’m late” excuse that I don’t remember exactly and cannot for the life of me find but it was from a picture I saw somewhere, looked like it was maybe from a video game? Where Kakashi said something to genin Naruto and Sakura about the path of love or something? And they’re staring at him flustered pointing insisting “That’s...a lie!” Like I can recall the image clear as day in my head but I cannot for the life of me find it.

brOTP Hands down Guy. I mean, I ship them, too, but I just really love their friendship especially. Guy just really brings out the best in him and provides this really nice foil to Kakashi’s personality. I genuinely think Kakashi would’ve been done for if not for Guy’s loyalty and optimism. Their friendship is so fun and the two of them together never fail to make me smile.

OTP Does my KakashixOC ship count? Because if it does, then that’s my OTP. I have spent way too much time and energy on their relationship for it to not be. That probably sounds super cliche and maybe a little Mary-Sue-ish but I don’t even care, Rei and Kakashi are my magnus opum and I love them. I’m also just really, really proud of the way I’ve written their relationship. So much of their bond is informed by my own relationship with my fiance, and I think my own experiences have really evolved my understanding of what real intimacy in a romantic relationship looks like. It’s not so much about flowers and chocolates and date nights as it is about caring for and comforting the person you love, spending quality time with them, making them laugh and smile, being 110% yourself around them, and providing for them in their times of need. I have never written a relationship so real and specifically raw before, and there’s a lot of intricacies that I’ve worked in as well, that just overall make me incredibly proud of the progress I’ve made on their story, and proud of the story I’ve been creating for them in general. But if an OC ship doesn’t count for OTP, I really like Kakashi with Shizune, Guy, Yamato/Tenzo, and Iruka.

nOTP Oh god I have quite a few. I really don’t enjoy focusing on negatives nor do I want to start ship wars so I’ll keep these explanations brief. I can’t stand Kakashi and Sakura, the mere thought of it makes me *this close* to puking. I take big issue with ships in general between characters that met when one of them was a child and the other an adult, though. It just comes off incredibly pedophilic to me and makes me nauseous. The other big ship I take issue with is Kakashi and Rin but that’s more of a personal issue because their relationship, and Rin’s character in general, hit way too close to home (in a very warped and psychotically symbolic way) to some really traumatic stuff I dealt with in the past that took me years and lots of therapy to deal with, and it still trips me up to this day. It’s not anything that anyone in fandom has done or anyone who ships Kakashi and Rin with each other, it’s just a matter of me noticing parallels between the ship and my own trauma that make it incedibly hard for to tolerate content of it. Just to tack these on, as well, but I also really dislike him with Hanare from the filler episode and with Kahyo from the book Lightning in the Icy Sky. The romance with Hanare just felt really disingenuous to me like I can tolerate it, but it’s not my favorite. And as for Kahyo, I blame bad writing. The fact that the book was referring to her as “the woman who has Kakashi’s heart” literally within like two pages of them meeting really pissed me off. I couldn’t even finish the book so I can’t even speak on the rest of the relationship but I just got so turned off by the entire story in general because the romance was so unbelievable and abrupt. I feel like anyone who has read my fic, though, likely has picked up on my opinions on these, though. Not that I’m writing ship hate or anything because I’m not, but there have been little plot points here and there that have kind of touched on my feelings on these ships.  

random headcanon I have way too many but here’s one of them, I guess, though this is more a musing than a headcanon. I think, when the war is over and Kakashi can finally catch his breath, he goes through a bit of an identity crisis as he comes to terms with the fact that he no longer has his sharingan. After all, he had Obito’s eye for almost twenty years. Learning to function without it is going to be incredibly difficult but not only that, so much of his identity was founded on his secondhand sharingan. Who even is he without it? Does he even recognize himself anymore? And how can he ever live up to the reputation he’s garnered over so many years now that the source of all of his power is gone for good? Yes, he was a prodigy before the sharingan and he is still capable without it, but it’s going to be a big change and take a huge toll on him and his perception of himself.

unpopular opinion I’m glad Kakashi has never been given an explicitly canon love interest. Honestly, I don’t want him to have one. As much as he deserves to find love and start a family with someone, from a fandom perspective I much prefer him being open and available. It creates a much more flexible interpretation of him and his love life so that we, the fans, can write him however we damn well please and I think that’s pretty fantastic. I think it’s safe to say that Kakashi is one of if not the most heavily shipped character in the fandom and everyone has very strong opinions on who he belongs with and even how he idenifies from a sexuality perspective. I can only imagine the uproar that would come from finally giving him a canon love interest because you absolutely cannot please everyone. In a way, I feel like Kakashi is just a character who belongs to all of us. He is something different for every single person in fandom whether that’s someone to look up to and seek guidance from, someone to protect and root for, someone to relate to and find comfort in, someone to love and/or lust after. Or in my case a precious emotional support ninja husbando. I don’t know if he would’ve had quite the same effect on fandom if he had been canonically shipped with someone from the get-go, but I’m grateful that he never was and I hope he never will be so he can continue playing the role in fandom that he has been for so many years. That probably sounds selfish, though, but I just really want him to remain a character that belongs to all of us and is not inhibited by canon in terms of who he loves and how he identifies.

song i associate with them Again, there’s so fucking many so I’m just gonna list some of my favorites. Sign by Flow Friendships by Pascal Letoublon Hospital for Souls by Bring Me the Horizon SCARECROW by My Chemical Romance Disguise by Motionless in White-- this is a big one, especially the line “sick of wearing a mask, sick of hiding my face, sick of every motherfucker that is in my way, sick of digging for answers while you bury the truth, fuck your method to my sadness, I will bury you” like it just reminds me of ANBU Kakashi specifically, but overall his character development in coming to terms with his past and crawling out of his depression, too.

favorite picture of them Again...there’s multiple x_x

[irondadgroupie]

Tony starts an LGBT- club

@marvelstheavengers and I have had the best time spewing out headcanons! This one we had many many weeks ago. I was going through our convos and this one is way too precious. LOTS OF IRONDAD AHEAD!!!!

irondadgroupie

I believe both Tony and Peter are Bi

Tony is canonically Bi in the comics

Tony would take Peter under his wing and take him to Pride or they would have their own little party in the Tower, with themed cupcakes

marvelstheavengers

Tony is hella bi

*bi

that man is the most bi man in the universe

And I think Peter would be too with his crush on Thor and maybe even Cap!

marvelstheavengers

And I love the idea of pride parade led by Tony and Peter

Or even just a casual rainbow party

irondadgroupie

Peter and Tony watch LOTR trilogy in the party, others complain about the lack of women but they just say ARE YOU KIDDING A BUNCH OF HOT MEN THIS IS HEAVEN!

marvelstheavengers

Hahaha yesssss!

And I can totally see them getting into like every action movie ever because MUSCLES

irondadgroupie

Skimpy clothed women plus hot men :D

And Tony pointing out cute teens when they are out, which always makes Peter blush

marvelstheavengers

Awww yes I love Tony trying to set Peter up

irondadgroupie

Tony always building up Peter's self confidence

"You're a good looking kid, why not go out there and ask him out?"

marvelstheavengers

“How could he say no to those eyes?”

And Peter just blushes so much

irondadgroupie

"As easily as you said no to me using the Iron Man armor."

marvelstheavengers

When he does ask someone out Tony stands by closely gesturing with encouragement

irondadgroupie

"Hey, that is a weapon, totally different"

marvelstheavengers

Ahahahahah I love that line

irondadgroupie

Tony behind the crush with thumbs up

And if Peter is rejected, he gives him a sidehug and buys ice cream to cheer him up

marvelstheavengers

And mouthing stuff like “doing great, go for the hug”

Ice cream occurs literally no matter what

Can you imagine Peter practicing flirting with the Avengers

Each one gives him style tips

Like Steve is all classy and “open doors, be polite, be classy, etc”

And Natasha is all like “SHOW THEM HOW BAD ASS YOU ARE SHOW THAT ASS BE PROUD YOU KNOW WHAT JUST FIGHT THEM ITS SUPER SEXY”

And Bruce claims he’s the worst person to ask

marvelstheavengers

Thor gives  Asgardian advice “Court them sweetly, leave honeyed nectar for them each morning, and be sure to ask them out with great grandeur... fireworks are always a success!”

Everyone tries to help plan him the perfect date

irondadgroupie

Eventually Tony comes in and brushes them all off, telling them not to confuse his kid

irondadgroupie

"Do what makes you comfortable? You like cafes- go there. Want to take a walk- a great idea. I can't give you a guidebook on this, kiddo. It's all trial and error."

marvelstheavengers

“Trust me, I’ve had a plentyyy off dates. They go bad if you’re out of your comfort zone. Or if you’re an asshole like I was.”

“Just go with your gut, Underoos”

And don’t forget the safety lectures from Tony

“Safe sex is good sex, Peter.”

irondadgroupie

Tony giving Peter the talk :D Oh, I need to see that

"Even if neither of you could get pregnant, always use protection. Use more than one if you want to."

"Also, masturbation is a great way to find out what you like and don't- "

"MR STARK!"

marvelstheavengers

“Kid, it’s a perfectly natural bodily-“

marvelstheavengers

“STOP!”

irondadgroupie

"There is nothing embarrassing about it and it doesn't grow hair in hands or anything ridiculous, so just go on if you feel like it"

"And if you don't want to have sex yet, no pressure. Never let anyone pressure you. Sex should be fun!"

marvelstheavengers

“And don’t forget, no one chooses when you’re ready, that’s all you.”

irondadgroupie

Wow, mind sync :D

marvelstheavengers

“If you don’t like it you can stop anytime!”

Hahaha that was perfect

Gosh that would be adorable

And of course even if Peter didn’t want to talk about it

The next day he’d find condom, lube, and various other safety and pleasure devices with a smiley face note

irondadgroupie

"And if anyone ever tries to force themselves on you, kick, scream, hit them in the balls. Anything is allowed in that situation."

Oh yeah, Tony does some late night shopping and Peter hides the box, he can't even look into it :D

marvelstheavengers

“And tell an adult what happened, especially me. I promise I won’t kill them. Ok, maybe a little but they’d deserve it!”

irondadgroupie

He can't imagine his mentor picking out stuff for him

marvelstheavengers

Hahah yesss!

And can you imagine Tony walking in on Peter researching how to be intimate with males (like whether you need lube, etc)

And Tony didn’t realize he was bi, so of course he’s happy for Peter and gives him advice on how to be intimate with both genders

Peter might be embarrassed at first, maybe he hasn’t come out yet, but Tony would be so loving and helpful!

irondadgroupie

"I'm serious, kid, if someone tries anything, tell me. That kind of a situation can be very traumatizing. And remember, it is never your fault, it's the fault of the person who can't control his urges and doesn't respect you"

irondadgroupie

At first Tony walks in on Peter masturbating. Tony immediately covers his eyes, apologizes and closes the door. They avoid each other for the rest of the day and next morning are overly polite.

irondadgroupie

Yes, Peter didn't really ever come out as Bi, Tony just found out. Peter was nervous Tony was going to treat him differently, he knew Tony was Bi but would he be alright with Peter being one. Would Tony even believe him or would he say it is just a phase and avoid the topic? What if Tony abandoned him?

marvelstheavengers

Oooo yes! Imagine the awkwardness, Peter is worried Tony will make him give up his room after that display, since he’s heard a lot of people are against masturbation, but Tony explains its natiral

And Peter is super worried when Tony finds out

irondadgroupie

"Kid, I know all about this so if you have any questions, I am more than happy to help. Or if you don't feel comfortable with talking about this stuff with me, I can recommend you to some good websites. You know, there are groups for LGBT youth, would you be interested in that?"

Yep, Tony is totally cool with masturbation

"Hey, I do it also!"

marvelstheavengers

So Tony starts his oan

*own

Peter says he doesn’t want a stranger leading him in an LGBT group

irondadgroupie

"I knew it but I DID NOT need a confirmation"

marvelstheavengers

It actually starts as a program at the tower

irondadgroupie

"Just lock the door next time, alright. Saves us both from embarrassment."

marvelstheavengers

Hahahah yes!

Peter would be so awkward over that stuff

Tony offers to make him a do not disturb sign

irondadgroupie

TONY LEADING A LGBT CLUB!

Peter uses the sign every time he can, eventually it is extremely difficult for Tony to tell what Peter is doing in that room since the sign is always on the door. Peter doesn't want to signal the world he is pleasuring himself :D

marvelstheavengers

Isn’t that the best?!

irondadgroupie

YEAH!

marvelstheavengers

Tony just starts ignoring the sign, which leads to more issues, which leads to a lock installation

marvelstheavengers

which eventually causes problems when Peter sneaks out to be spiderman

Tony would be the best LGBT leader

I’m talking rainbow cakes, walls, food, fucking parades

He’d try to normalize it

Especially after being ostracized by his own father

He’d give safe sex, flirting, and other tips

irondadgroupie

They have snacks and Tony makes it a very relaxed event, the kids can talk if they have any issues, catch up with each other. Tony doesn't really make it LGBT themes, they don't really talk about politics but rather about normal life

marvelstheavengers

And each kid member would have his personal phone number in case they ever needed advice

irondadgroupie

Tony also offers one-on-one time if someone has a sensitive issue

marvelstheavengers

Yes! I love that!

marvelstheavengers

He’d totally want to normalize it, just talk about normal things, movies, etc

And when he notices two boys who have heart eyes for each other he goes to work trying to set them up!

irondadgroupie

They have movie nights, outings to interesting places and once have a pajama party, Peter and Tony realized neither of them had ever been in one

marvelstheavengers

It’s all about normalcy and being able to accept themselves, as well as provide advice if they ever need it

Oh my gosh I love pajama party fics!

It’d be an EPIC PJ party too

Maybe even some of the other Avengers would stop by

And tell the kids how they’re the true heroes accepting themselves and braving a world that can sometimes be ignorant

irondadgroupie

Exactly, Tony wants kids to accept themselves, they don't need to become active members of LGBT community, just to be functional adults. Peter makes many friends and gets lots of support for his thoughts.

Tony also makes sure there is no Bi-phobia since sometimes LGBT people don't really look kindly on them

irondadgroupie

Tony even accepts Bi-curious people, the more the merrier "It's not like we are arranging an orgy"

marvelstheavengers

Hahaha I love that!

He’d be the most welcoming person eber

And any signs of discrimination or phobia he would shut down so wuixk

quick

irondadgroupie

EPIC party alright. They have pizza, get to go to the Avengers gym where they try all the machines. Peter amazes them all with his gymnastics and Tony nearly has a heart attack as the boy does crazy tricks. Tony has the intention to go to his own floor but all the kids want him to stay. They all camp on the ground in sleeping bags and just gossip until Pepper comes and tells them to go to bed

marvelstheavengers

“Who the fuck still cares about sexual orientation? We should care about Earth’s orientation because my God we may have some future issues in that department”

Oh yes!

Pepper is *this* close to kicking Tony out, because he’s having the most fun of all!

In fact he encouraged it

marvelstheavengers

“Babe, every teenager stays up too late at a sleepover it’s only natural! And adds to childhood experience! I read a whole book on it”

irondadgroupie

Tony placing all kind of crazy bets and giving money to those who complete them succesfully

"The one who can fit most marshmallows in their mouth gets a dollar!"

marvelstheavengers

And the bets are ridiculous amounts, Tony practically throws money at the kids since he knows most can’t even afford college

Like $200 for whoever can do the best Shania Twain impression

irondadgroupie

Peter managed to get twenty marshmallows into his mouth, Tony still doesn't know how he did it

But the boy did need quick Heimlich since he started choking

marvelstheavengers

No more marshmallow contests after that 😂😂

irondadgroupie

Tony gives money away like crazy!

marvelstheavengers

It also turns out the quietest boy in the class can belt a tune

irondadgroupie

Peter would have been eager to do a round two :D

marvelstheavengers

Oh for sure! That boy grew up on food competitions after all.

irondadgroupie

500 dollars on who can eat most wasabi!

marvelstheavengers

Imagine Peter starting a youtube channel for “life advice from Mr. Stark” based off the group

Peter did not excel at that one

irondadgroupie

They have singstar battles, Tony is amazingly good singer

marvelstheavengers

Turns out his enhanced senses can NOT handle spice

irondadgroupie

Yep, Peter had tears in his eyes and had to forfeit :D

marvelstheavengers

Tony has a whole John Travolta combined with AC/DC vibe

He’s a great dancer, an even better air guitarist

irondadgroupie

Tony tries to avoid challenges that he knows Peter will dominate. Some teens ask for a handstand competition but Tony knows Peter would win it hands down

marvelstheavengers

Eventually, he has to appoint Peter as a judge for all gymnast competitions

irondadgroupie

They have all sorts of WII games in their space

marvelstheavengers

Tony competes instead

They also have an entire laser tag course

irondadgroupie

PETER AND TONY ON OPPOSING TEAMS!

They are determined to take each other down

marvelstheavengers

OH MY GOSH YES

Turns out Peter has an entire strategy board

irondadgroupie

Like, of course they work well and usually, if it is an Avenger challenge, they are paired up but now, war is on

irondadgroupie

Peter and Tony know the other's moves and plan based on that

"Peter favors heights, so be very careful when you see a ledge, try to keep the edges, that makes it harder to hit you."

marvelstheavengers

“And Peter also has really good... hearing, so try to be quiet. It’s best to go for him from a distance”

“Tony is great at setting traps, try not to move in predictable patterns, and don’t walk down one way paths”

irondadgroupie

It ends up with all of the opposing team members trying to take down Peter :D

"This is not fair!" Peter screams as he runs into cover.

marvelstheavengers

Peter is the biggest threat, he’s great at gymnastics and seems to have these super great instincts (woah what a shock)

So Tony’s strategy is definitely to have everyone corner him first

Peter is totally pissed about it

Once he’s out he ends up shouting advice to his teammates from afar

irondadgroupie

"Hey, no participating! You are dead!" Tony shouts

"I'm a ghost! Their guiding spirit!"

"Hush, you, RIP."

When they finally get Peter cornered and done for, Tony begins a small eulogy but Peter's kicks him in the shin in annoyance

marvelstheavengers

Hahahahahahaha I love that!

marvelstheavengers

“Peter was a good kid who always tried his hardest, but in the end he succumbed to laser tag. Let it be remembered that Tony outlived Peter in laser tag, and he’s nearly 50. RIP.”

Peter mumbles something about coming back to haunt Tony

And he makes sure next game to immediately target the man, not for strategy but REVENGE

irondadgroupie

Oh yeah, Peter is out to get Tony from now on :D In every game they play

irondadgroupie

Like once the group play football with Tony and Peter on opposing teams and Peter is dead-set on NOT giving Tony the ball.

irondadgroupie

Tony also doesn't want to give up.

At one point the ball is cornered to a wall and neither lets the other go

marvelstheavengers

And of course when someone fumbles in American football Tony and Peter are the first to dog pile on top, both refusing to move because oh my gosh what if the ball slips

In fact there’s a running tally on a chalkboard of Tony and Peters’s competitions

Members take bets, it’s all very serious

Of course at the end of the day, though, Tony ruffles Peter’s hair and slings an arm around him, Peter smiles and hands him a Coke.

irondadgroupie

Oh yes! All their fights are in good nature and they make sure to never injure each other!

By the way, Peter would be the ultimate Twister champion

How about Tony and Peter being a pair in Trivial Pursuit. Others think they are crushed but even that pair has things they don't know

irondadgroupie

Once they played basketball and Peter, being the smallest of the group was accidentally knocked down and sprained his wrist

marvelstheavengers

Tony totally freaked out and had Peter checked out by no less than three doctors

marvelstheavengers

Also don’t forget that one time at Twister when Peter’s sticky hands would NOT detach from the twister tarp, which ended up in one big burrito wrapped Peter Parker as everyone fled for their lofe

r from

*life

and idk why it added random space and words lol

marvelstheavengers

Also in Trivial Pursuit Peter discovers Tony is useless at geography

marvelstheavengers

“You’ve literally been to Spain 10000 times how do you not know the capitol?!”

“You don’t ask ‘excuse me is this the capitol’ while you’re in a Spanish city!”

irondadgroupie

Peter in turn knows NOTHING about history

"When did World War 2 end?"

"Ummm- 19...82?"

irondadgroupie

Tony snorted. "Oh, yeah, I remember it so well. Fuck it, Peter, that's embarrassing."

Yes! Tony being a mother-hen is the best!

"Mr Stark, I just need some ice. It's fine, I have had much worse."

"Hush, now, rest. How many fingers am I holding up? I'm gonna tell you five words and I want you to repeat them in backwards order."

marvelstheavengers

Peter is totally just bad with years in general

In fact he frequently confused what year Tony was born

He alters between asking him what the Great Depression was like and what it was like to be - kid in the 90s

Tony has learned not to be offended that Peter thinks he was born in the 30s

The kid practically doesn’t even know when he was born

And yesssss! Tony totally mothers Peter when he’s injured

marvelstheavengers

He also obsessively worries

“When will he be able to walk again?”

“He... he sprained his elbow, Mr. Stark...”

“Exactly! Bed rest for a month, right?”

Peter of course is always insisting he’s fine

“Mr. Stark I have super healing! I’m practically invincible!”

“You think you’re WHAT NOW”

irondadgroupie

Yes! Peter forgets dates so easily "I know what you are talking about but I have no idea when it happened." Like Peter knows about 9/11, he knows where it happened, has been to the site, knows everything about it and still never gets the year right

"Peter, you were literally born the year it happened Jesus Christ! I am about to banish you!"

irondadgroupie

At first Tony was offended when Peter got his birth year wrong. Once Peter asked if Tony fought in Vietnam. Nowadays, if they play any kind of quiz and the question beings with "When", Tony immediately knows to cover Peter's mouth

irondadgroupie

Tony is not generally a mother-hen, he does not care if Peter eats healthy or goes to bed at a reasonable time but when Peter is injured or sick, he is out of his mind with worry.

"Mr Stark, it was just a sneeze. It's dusty in here."

"Yeah, nope, not taking a chance," Tony says while wrapping the boy in a million blankets

marvelstheavengers

Peter even has a single goosebump, you better believe Tony is bundling that boy up

He also consistently reminds Peter to eat

Like CONSTANTLY

Tony actually has FRIDAY make sure a sandwich is always made at regular intervals

Just in case

marvelstheavengers

Peter also once tried to get Tony to study with him, asking him questions about what the 40s were like

Tony knew not to get offended at this point, so he just dragged Cap in to tutor the boy

irondadgroupie

At first Tony went along with it, he knew some stories but then Peter started talking with "you" pronoun and Tony just dragged Cap into the picture

It is a miracle Peter passes history

marvelstheavengers

It’s pretty much only due to his amazing memory, which apparently expire the day after a history test. He retains absolutely nothing from that class.

Everything else, however, he’s an absolute genius with.

Tony doesn’t even realize how brilliant the boy is until they’re working on a science project

marvelstheavengers

Peter is trying to figure out a way to use bacteria to produce methane readily available for energy use

And Tony suggests adding a mechanized aspect, like a way to use nanoparticles to extract the bacteria’s respiration profucts

marvelstheavengers

And Peter immediately draws up plans for them to rely on sensory mechanisms

Idk I’m just kinda making this up as I go

Or Peter has an idea to upgrade Tony’s suit and probes him wrong about soemtjing

Regardless, Tony is shocked and realizes just HOW smart Peter is

[lostinthewinterwood]

Gen Freeform Exchange 2020

Hey friend!

I’m looking forward to whatever you’re going to make for me—if you want to take what was in my sign-up and run with it, go right ahead!  But if you’re looking for more inspiration/ideas, keep right on reading.

If you’re not my assigned person, and are instead a generous person looking at this letter for treating purposes, I’d be happy to get treats in any medium.

General DNW

Rape/non/dub-con; non-canonical major character death; heavy angst; hurt no comfort; graphic depictions of deliberate and methodical self-harm*; graphic depictions of suicide; anything E rated; gore; heavy gender dysphoria; grimdark; complete downer endings; character bashing; incest; cringe comedy; a/b/o; mpreg; full setting AUs (canon-divergence is fine); graphic eye trauma; graphic and/or permanent hand trauma (unless the setting can provide a more-or-less fully functional prosthetic or equivalent); issuefic; unrequested identity headcanons.

*I don’t include things like, say, punching a wall in a fit of emotion under this. however, something like cutting would not be appreciated.

 General Likes

– I really like plotty fics

– Secret identity and disguise shenanigans, the more layers to them and more absurdity the better.

– Crossdressing for whatever reason and gender disguises, also for whatever reason.

– Time travel and time loops are always fun, especially as a fix-it.  I have a general preference for Peggy Sue style (aka, an older character getting put back in their younger body at an earlier point in the timeline) over the character’s physical body stepping back in time, but either one is good.

– A focus on family and/or friendship, especially characters realizing they’re not nearly as alone as they think they are, and just generally characters who like each other and enjoy spending time together

– Found family; families of choice

– Character studies

– Worldbuilding

All of my requests have way too many tags to relist them here, but if you’re at a loss for what to do, anything in a given request’s tags is obviously fair game; don’t feel bound by them either, since I’m definitely interested in more things than just those which appear in the tag requests.

 Fandom-specific prompts and DNWs

 Mother of Learning

Fandom-specific DNW: physical parental abuse within the Kazinski family, significant exaggeration of canonical emotional neglect/abuse/general family dysfunction, any implication or presence of romantic and/or sexual Zach/Zorian, either Raynie or the rest of her tribe being portrayed as Absolutely Right And Entirely Justified in all of their actions

 Neoluma-Manu Iljatir & Zach Noveda

Solo: Zach Noveda

Zach Noveda & Zorian Kazinski

Fanfiction

I’d generally prefer something set at least in part after the time loop begins, but beyond that I don’t have a strong preference for where in the timeline this might be set.  Maybe something from before Zorian got looped in—maybe one of the iterations where Zach and Neolu just went off across the country having fun the whole month? Zach doing whatever, possibly very early on, or maybe him freaking out a little because what the hell, time travel is supposed to be impossible, and yet—what did he do in the start? Some canon-type shenanigans with Zach and Zorian together because there aren’t lasting consequences to their actions?

Or for post-canon, I’d really like an exploration of Zach, who’s got the lived-time of a middle-aged man and the body of a teenager—how does he relate to his classmates/other people in the real world, where everyone’s growing again?  Maybe something about his lawsuit against his caretaker, or just a little thing with him, Zorian, and How Do You Live Normally, Again?  This Is Hard, or some such thing.

One tag I like especially—though obviously if you didn’t match on it you needn’t include it—is “Character expected to die but didn’t and now has no idea how to live anymore,” since Zach definitely didn’t fully expect he would get a chance to live through the rest of his adolescence/adulthood, and something delving into that would be really interesting!

 Raynie & Raynie’s Tribe

Raynie & Kiana

Fanfiction, Podfic

I love Raynie, and I love the little glimpses we get into her character and her past in canon!

For her I was thinking maybe something after the invasion, maybe her going home again.  I’d love to see a reconciliation between her and her tribe, and a settling of the issues and problems that led to her being sent away.

If I’ve got my timeline right, her brother should be old enough to have reasonable interactions with; I’d really enjoy something dealing with the tension between them, letting them reconcile and build a better sibling relationship.

Alternatively, if we’re going for pre-canon, I’d really enjoy something dealing with her initial arrival in Cyoria and befriending Kiana.

 Cikan Kazinski & Kirielle Kazinski

Solo: Kirielle Kazinski

Nochka Sashal & Kirielle Kazinski

Zorian Kazinski & Kirielle Kazinski

Fanfiction

I’d really like something focusing on Kirielle here—she is, after all, the uniting factor in this set of requests.

I’ve got a few ideas for what could come of this!

-- Kirielle and her mother.  For this one, I’d rather it not be anything where Cikan can be described as “winning” a confrontation—I’d much rather have it be a confrontation where it either ends neutrally or in Kiri’s favor, or a reconciliation when Kiri’s a bit older, coming to understand each other better.  I’d be down for Cikan realizing that Kiri is her own person, and can forge her own way in life, if you can get a story there, but I’m not sure if there’s an in-character way to do so, given how she still relates to Daimen, a successful adult in his own right.

-- Kirielle and Nochka.  They’re adorable and I’d love a further development of their friendship, especially getting to see it grow and develop over the months and years after the invasion.

-- Kirielle and Zorian.  I love their dynamic!  And again here I’d really enjoy seeing their relationship developing in real time, rather than a constantly looping world.  I think it would be great to see either of them defending the other to their parents—and maybe Zorian ends up with custody of Kiri, there’s definitely things to explore there.

-- Kirielle.  I’d be here for any sort of character study of Kiri, really, but I’m gonna prompt a few specific things anyway.

---- She grows up a little, and becomes a student mage—what’s that like for her, especially having received Zorian’s tutelage?

---- She grows up a little, and doesn’t seriously pursue magic—does she devote herself more seriously to art?  Do something else?  Get away from her parents, and get to just be a kid for a little longer than her siblings?

---- By some mechanism, Kirielle gets pulled into the time loop, whether with Zorian, instead of him, or in some utterly unrelated incident. What’s it like to grow older and older in life experience while your body remains stubbornly nine?  How does this change the story?  If you go this route I’d rather looper!Kiri not be erased in the timeline of the fic—ending the fic before it becomes an issue or letting her escape back to the real world are what I’d rather see.

---- For some reason—there’s actually a fair amount that’d have to change here, but shhh this is my ridiculous self-indulgent prompt—Kirielle is the Controller.  How does she react to being in a looping world, with no one else looping she can possibly compare notes with?  What does she do with her time?  Why did the angels choose her?  How does this impact canon—is Jornak even a problem, does the whole Sovereign Gate affair pass much as it was meant to rather than the debacle that became of it in canon?

 Solo: The Ghost Serpent

Solo: Quatach-Ichl

Fanfiction, Podfic

So, these two are just… they’re old.  They’re very old; QI, the younger, is still a thousand years old, and they’ve just seen so much??  I’d love some sort of exploration of the world’s history through either of their eyes.

For the Ghost Serpent, I’d be very interested in what it saw the other Branded Ones do that put it off of them so badly.

For QI, I’m interested both in the world history around him and also how he became what he is—why/how did he become a lich in the first place?  Who was he before?  Why did he get a divine blessing?  What did he think of the gods falling silent?  What was the Necromancer’s War like?

For this prompt, I’d be down for an in-universe document or legend/folktale/fairytale about them, rather than an ordinary narrative. I’d also definitely be down for something like an epic poem or story-song, if you feel so inclined.

  Star Wars Rebels

Alexsandr Kallus & Garazeb “Zeb” Orrelios

Fanfiction

I’m a total sucker for the enemies-to-allies redemption arc that Kallus and Zeb have going and really, anything exploring that dynamic I’d be down for.  Post-Honorable Ones is probably better—there’s a bit more to work with there—but mutual respect/grudging acknowledgement from before that point would be great too.

That being said, I would also be super down for one or both of them mentally travelling back in time and whatever ridiculous shenanigans emerge from that—honestly most of my tags can be interpreted as prompts for that, if you squint at least.

  Star Wars Rebels: Servants of the Empire

 Solo: Zare Leonis

Solo: Dhara Leonis

Zare Leonis & Dhara Leonis

Fanfiction

These poor kids, god.  I love them and I love their siblingship and I just, I want more. A lot of the freeforms I’m asking for are geared towards the aftermath of Secret Academy, and Dhara’s recovery and her relationship with Zare throughout that.  Do feel free to bring in their parents, too, though it’s by no means necessary.

Other things I’d be interested in include various types of role reversals and how that changes things—maybe it’s Zare who’s older, with a Force-sensitive little sister in Dhara, or the ages are the same and the Force sensitivity is flipped, or maybe Zare’s Force sensitive as well as Dhara, or the ages and Force sensitivity are flipped, making Zare Force sensitive and older and Dhara not force sensitive as well as being younger.

Another interesting thing would be exploring Zare readjusting to a civilian life; he’s quite conditioned into being so careful and military in his dress and his living space—does he keep that going? Let it fade?  Deliberately reject it?

 Solo: Lieutenant Chiron

Zare Leonis & Lieutenant Chiron

Fanfiction, Podfic

I love Chiron, he’s such an interesting character, and I am Big Sad that he doesn’t appear in any fics on ao3 as of yet.  He strikes me very much as a good man who doesn’t really know most of the bad things his government is doing; he cares about Zare and he cares that there’s abuses of power and murder going on at the academy; he truly, genuinely wants to make the galaxy a better place.

I would love to see a story where he lives through the climax of Secret Academy and, however that happens, is thus forced to question his government from that, since I’m also Big Sad that he died before he had that chance; failing that it would be interesting to have a fic exploring his past and how he came to be part of the imperial war machine, I think.

For him and Zare post-canon, assuming an AU where they both survive, I’d be down to see them rebuilding the relationship they had before and regaining some sort of trust/regard for each other.

  Original Works

Fandom-specific DNW: the word “queerplatonic” being used to describe relationships (writing something that you’d normally consider it is fine!  I just don’t really like the term), fics that are All About Being Trans And/Or Disabled, neopronouns, nondysphoric trans characters.

 Archmage & Apprentice

Failed Chosen One & New Chosen One

Girl Who Killed The Dark Lord & Her New Inherited Minions Who She Would Like To Be Less Scared

Fanfiction

I love fantasy, including space fantasy, and so many of its associated tropes: magic, destiny and fate and the subversion thereof, people being fundamentally human whilst caught up in something far beyond them…

This one’s a bit harder to prompt for, but looking through the tags I asked for should give you a decent idea for what I like; see also the general likes section above.

Thank you for creating for me!! I’m sure whatever you make will be lovely, and I’m looking forward to seeing it :D

[stars--n--stripes-blog]

Like any religion, wokeness understands the need to convert children. The old Jesuit motto (sometimes attributed to Voltaire) was, after all, “Give me the child for the first seven years and I will give you the man.” And so I was moved but not particularly surprised by George Packer’s tale of a progressive school banishing separate restrooms for boys and girls because this reinforces the gender binary. The school did not inform parents of this, of course:

Parents only heard about it when children started arriving home desperate to get to the bathroom after holding it in all day. Girls told their parents mortifying stories of having a boy kick open their stall door. Boys described being afraid to use the urinals. Our son reported that his classmates, without any collective decision, had simply gone back to the old system, regardless of the new signage: Boys were using the former boys’ rooms, girls the former girls’ rooms. This return to the familiar was what politicians call a “commonsense solution.” It was also kind of heartbreaking.

As an analogy for the price of progressivism, it’s close to perfect. Authorities impose an ideology onto reality; reality slowly fights back. The question is simply how much damage is done by this kind of utopianism before it crumbles under its own weight. Simple solutions — like a separate, individual gender-neutral bathroom for the tiny minority with gender dysphoria or anyone else — are out of bounds. They are, after all, reinforcing the idea that girls and boys are different. And we cannot allow biology, evolution, reproductive strategy, hormones, chromosomes, and the customs of every single human culture since the beginning of time to interfere with “social justice.”

It’s also vital to expose children to the fact of their race as the core constituent of their identity. Here is an essay written by a woke teacher about the difficulty of teaching “White boys”:

I spend a lot of my days worried about White boys. I worry about White boys who barely try and expect to be rewarded, who barely care and can’t stand being called on it, who imagine they can go through school without learning much without it impacting in any way the capacity for their future success, just because it never has before.

This sounds to me as if he is describing, well, boys of any race. And when boys are labeled as “White” (note the capital “W”) and this requires specific rules not applied to nonwhite boys, they often — surprise! — don’t like it:

This week, a student spoke up in class to say that every time a particular writer talked about White people and their role in racism, he would start to feel really guilty, and it made him not want to listen … I try to keep an arm around the boys who most need it, but it’s hard, because I’m also not willing to give an inch on making my room safe for my students of color. It’s not their job to keep hurting while White boys figure it out.

Children, in other words, are being taught to think constantly about race, and to feel guilty if they are the wrong one. And, of course, if they resist, that merely proves the point. A boy who doesn’t think he is personally responsible for racism is merely reflecting “white fragility” which is a function of “white supremacy.” QED. No one seems to have thought through the implications of telling white boys that their core identity is their “whiteness,” or worried that indoctrinating kids into white identity might lead quite a few to, yes, become “white identitarians” of the far right.

One of the key aspects about social-justice theory is that it’s completely unfalsifiable (as well as unreadable); it’s a closed circle that refers only to itself and its own categories. (For a searing take down of this huge academic con, check out Douglas Murray’s superb new book, The Madness of Crowds.) The forces involved — “white supremacy,” “patriarchy,” “heterosexism” — are all invisible to the naked eye, like the Holy Spirit. Their philosophical origins — an attempt by structuralist French philosophers to rescue what was left of Marxism in the 1960s and 1970s — are generally obscured in any practical context. Like religion, you cannot prove any of its doctrines empirically, but children are being forced into believing them anyway. This is hard, of course, as this teacher explains: “I’m trying. I am. But you know how the saying goes: You can lead a White male to anti-racism, but you can’t make him think.”

The racism, sexism, and condescension in those sentences! (The teacher, by the way, is not some outlier. In 2014, he was named Minnesota’s Teacher of the Year!) Having taken one form of religion out of the public schools, the social-justice left is now replacing it with the doctrines of intersectionality.

Last week, I defended drag queens reading stories to kids in libraries. I don’t take back my words. Getting children interested in reading with costumed clowns strikes me as harmless. But when I was directed to the website of Drag Queen Story Hours, I found the following:

[DQSH] captures the imagination and play of the gender fluidity of childhood and gives kids glamorous, positive, and unabashedly queer role models. In spaces like this, kids are able to see people who defy rigid gender restrictions and imagine a world where people can present as they wish, where dress up is real.

However well-meant, this is indoctrination into an ideology, not campy encouragement for reading and fun.

And then there is the disturbing “social justice” response to gender-nonconforming boys and girls. Increasingly, girly boys and tomboys are being told that gender trumps sex, and if a boy is effeminate or bookish or freaked out by team sports, he may actually be a girl, and if a girl is rough and tumble, sporty, and plays with boys, she may actually be a boy.

In the last few years in Western societies, as these notions have spread, the number of children identifying as trans has skyrocketed. In Sweden, the number of kids diagnosed with gender dysphoria, a phenomenon stable and rare for decades, has, from 2013 to 2016, increased almost tenfold. In New Zealand, the rate of girls identifying as boys has quadrupled in the same period of time; in Britain, where one NHS clinic is dedicated to trans kids, there were around a hundred girls being treated in 2011; by 2017, there were 1,400.

Possibly this sudden surge is a sign of pent-up demand, as trans kids emerge from the shadows, which, of course, is a great and overdue thing. The suffering of trans kids can be intense and has been ignored for far too long. But maybe it’s also some gender non-conforming kids falling prey to adult suggestions, or caused by social contagion. Almost certainly it’s both. But one reason to worry about the new explosion in gender dysphoria is that it seems recently to be driven by girls identifying as boys rather than the other way round. Female sexuality is more fluid and complex than male sexuality, so perhaps girls are more susceptible to ideological suggestion, especially when they are also taught that being a woman means being oppressed.

In the case of merely confused or less informed kids, the consequences of treatment can be permanent. Many of these prepubescent trans-identifying children are put on puberty blockers, drugs that suppress a child’s normal hormonal development, and were originally designed for prostate cancer and premature puberty. The use of these drugs for gender dysphoria is off-label, unapproved by the FDA; there have been no long-term trials to gauge the safety or effectiveness of them for gender dysphoria, and the evidence we have of the side effects of these drugs in FDA-approved treatment is horrifying. Among adults, the FDA has received 24,000 reports of adverse reactions, over half of which it deemed serious. Parents are pressured into giving these drugs to their kids on the grounds that the alternative could be their child’s suicide. Imagine the toll of making a decision about your child like that?

Eighty-five percent of gender-dysphoric children grow out of the condition — and most turn out to be gay. Yes, some are genuinely trans and can and should benefit from treatment. And social transition is fine. But children cannot know for certain who they are sexually or emotionally until they have matured past puberty. Fixing their “gender identity” when they’re 7 or 8, or even earlier, administering puberty blockers to kids as young as 12, is a huge leap in the dark in a short period of time. It cannot be transphobic to believe that no child’s body should be irreparably altered until they are of an age and a certainty to make that decision themselves.

I don’t have children, but I sure worry about gay kids in this context. I remember being taunted by some other kids when I was young — they suggested that because I was mildly gender-nonconforming, I must be a girl. If my teachers and parents and doctors had adopted this new ideology, I might never have found the happiness of being gay and comfort in being male. How many gay kids, I wonder, are now being led into permanent physical damage or surgery that may be life-saving for many, but catastrophic for others, who come to realize they made a mistake. And what are gay adults doing to protect them? Nothing. Only a few ornery feminists, God bless them, are querying this.

In some ways, the extremism of the new transgender ideology also risks becoming homophobic. Instead of seeing effeminate men as one kind of masculinity, as legitimate as any other, transgenderism insists that girliness requires being a biological girl. Similarly, a tomboy is not allowed to expand the bandwidth of what being female can mean, but must be put into the category of male. In my view, this is not progressive; it’s deeply regressive. There’s a reason why Iran is a world leader in sex-reassignment surgery, and why the mullahs pay for it. Homosexuality in Iran is so anathema that gay boys must be turned into girls, and lesbian girls into boys, to conform to heterosexual norms. Sound a little too familiar?

Adults are increasingly forced to obey the new norms of “social justice” or be fired, demoted, ostracized, or canceled. Many resist; many stay quiet; a few succumb and convert. Children have no such options.

Indoctrinate yourselves as much as you want to, guys. It’s a free country. But hey, teacher — leave those kids alone.

By Andrew Sullivan

[heresanotetomyself-blog]

     according to statistics from 2012, around 41% of marriages end in divorce. in America, around 2,400 divorces take place per day, 16,800 divorces per week and 876,000 divorces in a year. there is a long string of reasons as to why so many marriages end this way - infidelity, abuse, financial struggles, lack of intimacy, etc. though, to a degree, seemingly justifiable reasons, it doesn’t mean that your parents splitting up - and, as a result, your whole family being divided - can’t turn your entire world upside down. two years ago, when I was seventeen, my parents decided to divorce after twenty-two years. I never wanted to take on the title as “kid of the divorced parents”, but growing up I always thought that should it have happened to me, maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. but my parents’ divorce was pretty messy. I’ve always been envious of the kids whose parents split up amicably, remaining friends, or the parents who split up but still seemed to have a functioning agreement that worked in the best interest of their children. though I am aware that not every kid gets their ideal situation when their parents go their separate ways, at times I still feel rather alone in my experience. being the “almost-adult of divorced parents” I think proved to be more difficult for me than it would have been if it had happened earlier on in my life. I’ve thought that if I hadn’t been seventeen when it all took place, I wouldn’t have been stuck in this weird limbo of wanting to empathize as someone who understands life’s difficulties from an adult perspective, while also still being just as confused and as hurt as a younger child. being a member of a family that’s been divided by that 41% hasn’t gotten any easier, but it has taught me a few lessons that I’ve been wanting to share. not in the “here’s 10 uplifting things I learned when my family was uprooted as a symbol of the light at the end of the dark tunnel called divorce” kind of way, but more of a “there’s always a lesson to be taught in the midst of trials” kind of way. bear with me and the clichés.

things my parents divorcing has taught me

the value of really loving who you love while you can      nothing TRULY teaches you the value of family like watching your family fall apart. for seventeen years, I lived with my parents under the same roof. when that disappeared from right between my fingers, it forced me into a situation where I had to divide my time between two units now, who, growing up, I had always looked at as one whole. I’m in the process of learning to love my parents now as individuals, which has proven difficult. it’s almost as I’ve had my mother and father reintroduced to me as strangers and I’ve had to become acquainted with them all over again. when your family is torn apart in this way- after what you’ve known your whole life is taken away from you, something inside kicks you in the gut for never REALLY appreciating what you had while you had it. with things like having to spend holidays in two different places and no longer really understanding the feeling of togetherness, you learn to value any of the time you get with anyone you love. because now, you realize how quickly it can be taken away from you. and the feeling of knowing you didn’t love what your family was like you should’ve when you could’ve is a really empty feeling - because now you no longer can. it’s one of the tougher lessons I’ve learned, but I’m glad God has really enforced this one in my life. I now know not to take the gifts I have been given for granted. everything God has given us in this life can be taken away from us as easily as it was bestowed upon us. it’s humbled me, understanding the importance of appreciation and loving with every inch of my heart. I know I cannot have the family back that I’ve lost, but I know that I can love my parents now, as I get to know them as two separate units.

to be less selfish      on a daily basis, I still find myself always focusing on how my parents’ divorce affects ME. when it happened, I wanted to remain calm and respectful, but every fibre of my being wanted to scream, “how could you ever do this to me? how dare you do something that could turn MY life upside down like this?” I catch myself struggling to empathize with my parents and how they’ve felt since their split, and on a lot of occasions, I’ve expected everyone else to put their feelings on a hold while I dealt with mine. I constantly selfishly think about how their divorce has been negatively affecting my life, without taking a moment to think about how everyone else involved could be hurting, too. there have been times when I’ve said that I never wanted my mom or dad to move on, because I’ve always thought of it as a matter of them forgetting what they had already been given. why should they ever be happy again or try to heal when they had twenty-two years and two children that should have been enough for them? yet I know that isn’t the case, and I know their intentions were not as malicious as they may seem. though I still struggle with trying to wrap my head around other people’s grieving, my parents’ divorce has been teaching me how to be a less selfish person. God’s Word tells us to count others as more significant than ourselves, and forcing myself to think how others are hurting before I retreat into “yeah, but I’M hurting” is something my parents’ separation has been forcing me to do more often. divorce hasn’t only affected me. I have a brother, relatives, and even my own divorced parents who are all going through the same thing. no one has walked out unscathed.

that my parents’ failure does not determine my success      when I entered into a serious relationship a few months after my parents divorced, I found the topic of marriage to be very daunting. if my parents’ relationship didn’t work out, how could mine? my parents ending their marriage has instilled a very deep fear within me that one day the love of my life will wake up and decide that they no longer want for better or for worse, til death do us part. it has taken a lot of faith in God and reminding myself that their choice does not determine the path of my entire life to realize that my marriage does not have to fail because theirs did and so many others do. I swore off marriage and starting my own family for a long time because I was too afraid of the possibility that I could lose it all. but recently, with myself entering into a stage of my life where there is nothing I could possibly want more than to have a husband and children to love, God has shown me that just because divorce was an option in my parents’ marriage, it doesn’t have to be one in mine. I cannot let the failure of my parents’ relationship determine the success of mine. my parents’ choices are my parents’ choices - but I choose to not let my own marriage be ruled by it.

     I’m not here to romanticize my parents separation as some deep growth moment that helped me blossom into a wise flower, because divorce really can be a hard thing for some people to deal with. there isn’t a day that goes by when I don’t wish that I could’ve learned how to value my relationships, be less selfish or to understand that I’m not bound to make the same mistakes as others under different circumstances. but, I don’t regret having learned these lessons. it’s made me a more resilient person and it’s drawn me closer to God, who has provided me with comfort when not much else could. divorce has become normalized in this society, yet I think for a lot of us it never really feels normal. or, at least, it shouldn’t have to. my parents never loved me any less because they couldn’t make their marriage work, and they’re not monsters because of it. but having to figure out who you are without the family you’ve always known isn’t an easy task for anybody… even our divorced parents. I don’t think I’ll ever fully understand why my family had to be one of the 876, 000, but I do understand that I’m more than just the kid with the divorced parents and they’re more than just the divorced parents. I’ll let God take it from there.