#but they were all acceptable if it meant I got Kaveh

[thebitchbehindtheslaughter]

EVERYONE SHHH SHUSH SHSHHHHHHH BAIZHU AND KAVEH ARE *HOME*

[fallingdownhell]

May I request the Sumeru boys getting head pats and long rants about how attractive they are from their s/o who's blasted drunk?

Oh my god! This is so adorable!

Characters Included: Cyno; Tighnari; Alhaitham; Kaveh (+Wanderer)

Content: gender neutral reader; reader is drunk; fluff and funny, otherwise safe; Characters get flustered a lot

Word count: 2,8k words

I can't really write drunken slur, so just... pretend, okay? Also, I included Wanderer in this because he's technicaly a Sumeru boy and I love him and he deserves headpats. Anyways, have fun!<3

Cyno

He sighed heavily as he adjusted your drunken and slumped body on his back, continuing his way home. He knew it would go that way. You always got way too drunk when going out with your friends.

Yet you kept insisting that you would control yourself this time. That he could relax and drink one or two drinks as well. But Cyno was a protective boyfriend, so if you said you wanted to drink, that meant he was staying sober.

And again, he was glad he made that decision as he adjusted you yet again while you slept peacefully on his back, arms hanging loosely from his shoulders.

Still, he couldn't help but smile at you. After all, you were adorable when drunk, he always had something to laugh about and tease you the next day or two, so it was fine.

"Mhhh..", you mumbled, trying to turn around on his back, but finding that you couldn't move very much.

"We're almost home, (name). Just a few more minutes, alright?"

"Hhmm.. Cyno?", you asked, still sounding sleepy from all the alcohol you've been drinking.

"Yes, (name). I'm here.", he answered and you retorted with a small hum. Thinking that you would just fall asleep again, like the last few times, he kept his eyes in front of him and on the street, but then he suddenly felt a hand in his hair.

"You have so beautiful hair..", you mumbled, quiet like a whisper, which almost made Cyno think that your words weren't meant for him to hear, but then you continued talking.

"And your face! Cyno, do you have any idea how handsome you are? It's unfair!"

Hearing you say this, so unexpected, it made his cheeks all hot, getting red just from a few compliments from his significant other. He was really glad that you couldn't see him right now.

"Hey! Did you hear me?", you suddenly yelled, but still continued to stroke through his hair while Cyno kept walking with you on his back, which only gave you the perfect access to his hair that you needed.

"Hey? Cyno!", you yelled again but he kept quiet, still flustered from your compliments. He just wasn't used to that, okay?

"Meanie... but still a handsome meanie... MY handsome meanie.."

You then started giggling, laying your head to rest on his neck, but you still kept playing with his hair..

Oh Archons above.. he would have to make sure about your memories after you woke up. He couldn't handle it if you were to tease him about his reaction (or lack thereof) to your remarks. Because sober-you would have no problem figuring out that he didn't answer out of embarrassement..

Tighnari

Partys and such were a rare occurence within Gandharva Ville, but they did happen from time to time.

Today was such an occaision. One of the forest rangers recently got engaged and with permission from Tighnari was now hosting a small party with all his colleagues and friends.

Tighnair himself has only been a brief guest to said party. Not because he wasn't happy for the couple or didn't like the guy. It was simply because it quickly reached a state were it was just too loud for him to handle, and he didn't want to get yet another headache.

He went to the newly engaged couple for one last time, congratulating them again, before telling him the reason for his early departure. They were understanding, offering to safe him some of the leftover food, which Tighnari greatly appreciated and accepted.

You, however, decided to stay for a bit longer, which Tighnari didn't mind all that much. There weren't really that many opportunities for the people here to have fun, and he didn't want to put a damper on things, so he agreed.

He went home alone and made himself comfortable in bed, reading a book he recently started to pick up. Of course, it felt a little bit off to him, since you were missing from your usual spot by his side, but that was just his fox side being needy. He would be fine like this for a few hours.

Time continued to go by and it was now late at night, yet Tighnari could still hear that the party was far from over. However, he did get a bit of a bad feeling when he suddenly heard knocking from his front door.

"Yes?", he asked to let the person know that he was still awake.

"Ah, Master Tighnari. Sorry for the late disturbance. We were just.. hoping that you could come and collect (Name)? They're pretty drunk but refuse to be taken home by any of us."

"...I'm coming.", Tighnari sighed but still got up from bed and made his way over to the venue. It was only a short walk but even standing outside hurt his ears already from how loud it was inside.

When he walked inside, he instantly spotted you, talking to a group of Forest Rangers. Even though he was a bit further away, he clearly saw you swaying from one side to the other, people watching you closely to make sure that you wouldn't just fall to the side... Archons, you were absolutely drunk.

He sighed again as he made his way over to you. You spotted him when he was only a few more steps away. Your entire face lit up with excitement and you threw your arms out for him as you yelled "Tighnari!!"

He smiled, even though his ears hurt just a tad bit more from your hinge, but he didn't mind. It's not like you were aware of your actions right now.

"There's my beautiful boyfriend!"

He stopped at that, but didn't really have much time to react since you were throwing yourself at him. He caught you as you kept laughing and giggling, nuzzling up to his neck.

Then, the next second, you detached from him, standing by his side. "Right? Isn't he so pretty?", you looked expectantly at the forest rangers, who were all looking kinda amused at Tighnari.

"Come on, (Name), let's get home.", he tried to pull you along with him, which you let happen, to his surprise.

The entire walk back to his hut, you kept saying things like how beautiful he was and how unfair it was. To be honest, it made him flustered beyond anything.

Once he had you home and changed into your sleepwear, he just wanted to sleep, but seemed like you had other plans. You grabbed him and pulled him so that his face was now against your chest as you began to gently stroke through his hair, occaisonally scratching his ears as well.

"So pretty.. my pretty boyfriend.. very handsome..."

You kept mumbling to yourself, stroking and massaging his scalp and even though Tighnari was a blushing mess, he couldn't deny that he enjoyed the attention and the compliments..

Alhaitham

Even though he would never admit to it, Alhaitham was staying up late because of you.

You had told him that you would be going out with your friends tonight and that you would be getting late so he didn't have to wait up on you.

Little did you know that Alhaitham had picked up a habit... he quite literally wasn't really able to sleep anymore without you either by his side in bed or just in his general presence.

Don't get him wrong, he was still able to sleep without you, it was just that his sleep tended to be a lot worse and pretty light when he was by himself than compared with you.

So, he decided to not heed your words. Instead, he made himself comfortable on the couch while he waited for you, reading one of his many books. Since Kaveh was out tonight as well, the house was silent for once and he actually got to finish his book, so he went to pick up a new one right away.

He had no idea how late it had gotten when he heard a set of keys clinging from outside. He waited until the front door opened, revealing your form to him.

He immediately put his book aside and went to greet you, but that was also when the smell of alcohol hit him. Just how much had you been drinking?

"Haitham!", you suddenly yelled and launched yourself at him. He managed to catch you, but he did stumble from the impact, making you both fall back onto the couch behind him.

You giggled as you got up from him, but when you looked in his eyes, your face suddenly got serious as you climbed on top of him, looking him dead in the eyes.

He stared back at you, trying to figure out what was going on in your head right now. But before he could say anything, you took that off of him, revealing your thoughts to him.

"Why are you so damn handsome? It's not fair! Gimme some of that!"

He was shocked and confused at your remark, but before he could say something or react otherwise, you suddenly began patting and stroking his hair, getting him even further into the confusion.

"...What are you doing?", he asked, irritated by your behaviour. You never did something like this, not even when you were drunk before.

"Giving you headpats. You desere 'em for always working so hard... and for being my handsome boyfriend!"

You smiled up at him, clearly satisfied with your explanaition, but it left Alhaitham in a mess. He put an arm up, trying to cover up his cheeks so you wouldn't notice them turning red from your words.

However, your drunken mind didn't even recognise the gesture, you just happily continued giving him headpats, not making any indication that you wanted to move from on top of him.

So, Alhaitham simply resigned to his fate, letting you do as you pleased. There was no reason for you to know that he was secretly enjoying the attention he recieved from you right now..

Kaveh

Kaveh enjoyed a good night out with a few drinks just as much as the next person, maybe even a little more. You, on the other hand, never really enjoyed drinking and going out all that much, only doing so very rarely.

Today was a date just like any other with your boyfriend, Kaveh. However, when the two of you decided to go to a tavern, you decided that you wanted to drink something with him this time around.

Normally, you were the sober one, managing to get him back when he had a tad bit too much to drink but usually, Kaveh was pretty good at knowing his limit.

Seeing as how you wanted to drink something today, he decided to hold back on alcohol for today. You insisted that he didn't have to, but he wanted to stay sober so he could have an eye on you, just in case.

And man, was he glad he did so. Seeing as you weren't drinking much, you didn't have much tolerance for alcohol. So, you were already pretty drunk after only two or three drinks.

Kaveh had a great time however, seeing you all confused and still smiling brightly at him really only made you all the more adorable in his eyes.

He was having a great time picking at you, teasing you, until he was suddenly yanked by his collar. You had pulled him down so he was now at face level with you.

Your cheeks were flushed red from the alcohol, yet you were looking at him with a half assed, angry look in your eyes.

"What?", he asked, still smirking at you as he kept the position, remaining on eye-level with you.

"Quit teasing me already! Gods, why do you have to be so adorable when you're so annoying sometimes."

Choosing to ignore the last statement you made, Kaveh instead focused on the other thing you said about him.

"You think I'm adorable?", he continued teasing, even though his cheeks did flush a bit red at your words, but in your drunken state, you didn't realize that fact.

"Yes. And also cute, handsome, very beautiful, pretty-!"

"Okay, okay! I got it!", he suddenly yelled as he put a hand over your mouth, shutting you up effectively. Now he really wasn't able to hide his blush anymore.

He was looking to the side, trying to figure out how to go from here, when he suddenly felt a hand on his head. He whipped his head back around to you, seeing that you were now entirely focused on your hand in his hair.

You were petting him... in front of all the other customers of the tavern!

Kaveh looked at you, shocked, but not opposed to your sudden affection. You just looked at him and then flashed him your biggest smile.

Now he really didn't have the heart to tell you to stop, so he just let you do as you pleased.

And you did just that. You continued to pet and stroke through his hair, while the occaisonal compliment slipped past your lips, making him even more flustered every time he heard it.

Gosh, why did the Archons bestow him with such and adorable partner. He was sure he wasn't deserving of you, yet he soaked up the affection he was recieving like he was starving for it. It didn't matter that you were in public, he liked it all the more...

Wanderer

'Coming home' was an experience he never thought he would have. Yet he did get that... and so much more when you entered his life.

You showed so many things to him, helped him learn and grow so much over the time, and finally helped him build a place that really felt like a 'home' to him.

He enjoyed coming back to you every single day, he adored you with every fibre of his body. There was nothing in this world he wasn't willing to do for you and your happiness.

And yet....

"Babeee!", you yelled as he walked through the front door, greeting him like you usually do when he returns.

But this time, he is stunned. He immediately smells the alcohol in the house and all around you. You're much more enthusiastic than normally, which only solidifies his assumption that you had been drinking.

You did mention that you would be having a friend over today and wanting to have one or tow drinks with her. But it seemed like that turned into a couple more drinks.

He caught you as you were charging towards him, jumping into his arms without any regards for your safety because you knew that he would catch you, without a doubt. He always did, even though he complained to you afterwards (only half-assed, but still).

You immediately hugged him, pushing his giant hat off of him, so you had better access to him, nuzzling your head into the crock of his neck.

"What the- What is wrong with you?", he asked, incredulous. He never witnessed you acting like this before, so this was entirely new territory for him.

"He he", you just giggled and nuzzled against him more, tightening your arms around his form.

He stood there for a few more seconds before sighing and resigning to his fate. He somehow managed to pick you up and carry the both of you over to the couch so you could both have it a bit more comfortable than it would be just standing around in the open.

"Mhh.. pretty boyfriend.. so handsome..", you mumbled as you rested on his chest, and the remark made him freeze up under you.

Did you just- Did you.. mean that?

You must have felt his tensing up, because you suddenly sat up a bit to look at him with a serious expression. Then, you pulled yourself up a tad bit more, so that your hand now reached his face without problem.

You continued looking at him as you stroked some stray strands of hair behind his ear, then your hand wandererd higher, now massaging his scalp, patting his head every now and then.

"So handsome.. and all mine..", you continued to mumble, still staring at him with a serious expression.

He blushed furiously from your remarks, trying to look away from you but finding himself to be unable to do so. He wanted to say something, anything really, but the words keep getting caught in his thoat, so nothing comes out.

Then, you smile softly down at him and nuzzle down against his neck again, still stroking his head.

He just sighed as his arms around you tightened just a bit more, holding you more protectively..

He would never admit to it when asked out loud, but... he really started to enjoy this...

[akutasoda]

some nights you dance with tears in your eyes

synopsis - they catch you crying after not seeing you all day

includes - albedo, baizhu, alhaitham, kaveh, neuvilette

warnings - gn!reader, angst to confront, breakdowns?, wc - 1.4k

a/n: guys i promise working on requests, this has just been sat in my drafts for way too long-

albedo ★↷

it wasn't entirely uncommon for him to leave for dragonspine and not return for a while, but he always made sure to let you know. albedo would make sure you saw him the morning he left, and he would make sure to not leave without giving you a hug and a kiss goodbye - he may not understand human emotions but he knew it made you happy.

you had come to accept his absences and understood how much his work meant to him. sometimes you'd even accompany him for a short while up there! but no matter what, you always eagerly anticipated his return after whatever amount of time. however, now more than ever, you wished him home even more.

work had been piling and piling, your luck turned sour and everything seemed to be crashing down on you. returning home to an empty house everyday didn't help either. eventually, it became too much for you.

one night you'd reached your breaking point. you tried to push everything to the back of your mind and convince yourself that tomorrow would be better, but you couldn't. as soon as you reached the privacy of your home, you broke down.

unbeknownst to you, albedo had arrived home earlier. he eagerly awaited seeing you again but assumed that you probably would be asleep by the time he got back, so he let himself in. once inside, there was no way he could've missed the heartbreaking noise of sobs.

naturally, he assumed it was you and his chalk heart shattered. albedo called out for you until he found you and he swore he would have cried himself at the sight of you crying. at first he rushed to bring you into his embrace, but he was hesitant, what if you wanted space?

but by the way you brokenly called his name changed his decision. he brought you into his embrace and held you tight as he let you cry your heart out.

baizhu ★↷

it was no surprise that bubu pharmacy could keep him extremely busy. he tried his hardest to try and keep a healthy balance but sometimes he could really be rushed off his feet. especially if he has an early start, like he did today.

a patient required quite the urgent attention early in the morning and so you didn't wake up alongside him like usual. you were tad bit disappointed that you wouldn't see him for awhile but you understood his circumstances. now you just looked forward to seeing him at the end of the day!

however, now you were just excited for this day to end. there was just so many things that either annoyed you or stressed you out to the point that you finished your day early and headed home. admittedly, you were disappointed to not see baizhu anywhere but you understood that he was busy and hoped he'd finish soon.

by the time that baizhu had finally managed to close the pharmacy for the night, it had gotten rather late. he was exhausted and desperately deprived of your presence, all he wanted to do was see you for the first time since this morning.

what he hadn't expected was to find you crying. immediately he could feel his heartstrings being pulled upon and he called out for you gently, seeing your glossy eyes only made him sadder.

he pulled you into his embrace and held you close. maybe tomorrow he could leave the pharmacy to his assistants while he takes you out for the day.

alhaitham ★↷

his days could vary quite wildy, he could be really busy or not very bust at all. either way he still preferred to keep to himself with a few exclusions - you being one of the main ones. so most days, you'd see him during the day.

however, if you were busy, he'd tend to leave you to it and would often encourage you to focus on your things rather then be distracted by him or anyone else. he'd even go as far as to completely avoid you if you had something really important coming up.

and today was just that. you had an extremely important deadline to hit and so alhaitham decided to give you the space to work properly on it. although, now that seems like the worst thing he could've done.

you're stress was high and everything seemed to be working against you, all you needed was a break but you simply could not find the time to indulge in such. you really hoped that alhaitham would come to distract you but you knew that was a long shot.

eventually, you got home. you were absolutely exhausted emotionally and physically and you needed to find your lover and relax for once. it was rather late at night so you found him propped up in bed reading. you didn't care less however and immediately found your way to collapse onto him.

before he could even question your behavior, he could feel your body practically shake as you finally let out all your emotions. he stayed silent as he placed his arms around you and kissed the top of your head.

kaveh ★↷

you both knew very well that kaveh could often overwork himself, especially when he got a pretty good commission. he wouldn't so much as even take a break until it was completed and so sometimes it was difficult to see him during the day.

although he would become extra clingy later at night to make up for the time he could've spent with you - that and he was always reluctant to leave you in the morning if he knew. it was rather sweet, but sometimes he wouldn't be there when you needed him.

so while kaveh was busy fussing over new building plans, you were busy stressing over the amount of things you had to do. you were so close to reaching your breaking point but you'd rather not at the akadeymia and so you tried to hold on until you got home.

admittedly, you were disappointed that kaveh had yet to return home when you fid but you guessed you could just have some time to yourself and relax. although you greatly underestimated just how much the day had taken a toll on you, and before you knew it you were crying.

kaveh was absolutely beat by the time he dragged himself back and he couldn't wait to see you for the first time in ages. however his heart shattered when he saw you crying and he immediately made his way to you.

he took your shaky figure in his arms and held you close. he promised you then that whatever you wanted, he'd do it for you. he just couldn't bear to see you cry anymore.

neuvillette ★↷

the ludex of fontaine was always extremely busy. he tried his hardest to spend his time with you but more often than not, the only time's he could where before and after work. he did feel bad for not spending time with you but he held a lot of responsibility.

you knew better than to disturb him during work, and so you grew accustomed to not seeing him all day. if anything, it only made the time you two had together that much more special! you didn't mind exactly and if he did have the time, he'd let you know.

so when your day was turning horrid, you tried to press on and make it through but it was difficult. you wanted to go find your lover and relax but he was busy. as your day progressed it only became more difficult to continue on without breaking down into little pieces.

as soon as you got home, you tried desperately to calm yourself down and actually take a minute but it was proving inefficient. you knew that neuvilette only had one last trial today, so he should be home soon right?

however, by the time neuvilette actually managed to go home to you, he was greeted by your distraught self. oh how it made his heart ache to see you in such a state. he sat beside you and you immediately clung onto him and so he wrapped his arms arms around you, letting you finally cry.

that night, the rain in fontaine could only be described as torrential. a constant downpour that had citizens begging the hydro dragon to cheer up but how could he? only when he knew you were okay.

taglist - @little-miss-chaoss, @frankiesteinn

[vivakitkt]

Genshin/HSR Characters as “until I found you” lyrics

Warnings: Bad grammar(?) not proof read, fluff(?)

A/n: I’m back after a few weeks and randomly came up with this idea at 1 AM in the morning :D my sleep schedule is nonexistent. ANYWAYS please enjoy this little wip :)

“I would never fall in love again until I found her”

Since the day you two got together, they vowed to always be faithful to you. Never would you see them with another. You are their everything. If you ever left them, they would stop at nothing until they found you again. You two were meant to be. The way their hand perfectly cupped your cheek, the way you would both try to surprise each other with your favorite dinner. God perfectly crafted you just for them. Not even the heavens could tear you apart.

Zhongli, Childe, Blade, Raiden, Wanderer, AlHaitham, Kamisato Ayato,

“I was lost within the darkness, but then I found her”

They were a sin to Earth, a being never meant to exist. But you showed them that they could be loved, that they didn’t need to hide or isolate themselves from others. They believed that they couldn’t be vulnerable, hold no emotions, after all they couldn’t let themselves be held back. When you two first met, you wouldn’t stop latching yourself onto them. Always following them around, treating them well, treating them normal. They told you multiple times to not get close to them. For they would only cause you pain. What a lie that became. When you joined, their world became much brighter.

Xiao, Wanderer, Diluc, Bennett, Shenhe, Blade

“Heaven when I held you again”

They love to embrace you and they love to be in your arms. Every second of the day, they’re in your arms. Or you’re in theirs. They don’t care whether their big spoon or little spoon. They just love to know that you’re close to them. When you’re not in their presence, all they do is think about when you will be. They especially love it when you give them extra attention by pampering them with kisses, even more so after a long day at work. They want to be with you forever and ever, even after death.

Gepard, Jing Yuan, Sampo, March 7th, Chongyun, Heizou, Ningguang, Hu Tao

“How could, we ever just be friends”

They loved you, you loved them. However both of your personalities made it difficult for you to confess, let alone notice the others feelings. Everyone around you two understand that you both like each other so they don’t understand why you both just won’t confess to each other. To tell the truth, they’re worried that if they do, they’ll lose you. And they wouldn’t be able to accept that. They want to be more than friends. They want to hold you in their arms, smother their kisses all over you, and spoil you even if you insist that they don’t have to. But the idea of lost will always be rooted in them.

Dan heng, Seele, Blade, Baizhu, Gorou, Kaveh, Keqing, Razor, Wanderer

[yinses]

all and half pt. i

in which your fate intended is the one person you can achieve true pleasure from 

pairing: modern au! alhaitham x fem! reader, minor kaveh wc: 10k+ (i wrote over 70k+ words for genshin alone last year, that's crazy talk) rating: mature 18+

a/n: so we have two people to thank for this. 1. @mystic-sky rescued my sanity with this fic. i always worry about characterization and plot sense. she's actually the culprit who got me into genshin so really it all started with her. and she made me tear up a bit so here we are. 2. you guessed it, @mediocrityexpert who never failed to mention this man at all opportunities with pictures included until i became the simp you see now. this fic is meant to be her wish banner charm! hope this story brings as much joy as his homecoming

you had a plan. 

a simple and easy one-step outline that was meant to be fool-proof for a lifetime.

avoid your fate intended and you wouldn’t have any problems 

the idea of connecting with another living being on a level of complexity assisted by the archons would be thought to be a spiritual venture. except the very gods who wrote the lining principals found more value in physical compatibility rather than soul binding merit.

it was proclaimed, since what is thought to be the beginning of teyvet, that an individual's soul would be tied to another through the carnal utopia found at the peak of an orgasm. scholars liked to believe that it was a forethought with intention to cultivate the proliferation of humanity; but you like some just inhaled a little too much meditation incense.

if you never reached true nirvana then there was nothing for you to compare it to. thus, you could go about enjoying the frivolousness of life and it's untethered freedom. 

there was something to say about 'true love' when your soulmate could only be found at the peak of an orgasm. they say for those who have had sex in the past that nothing is commensurable beyond that. you don’t even have to love the person. the sex is just that good. 

apparently it’s the worst for virgins—never knowing what came before and rarely having the courage to experience anything less. 

the idea of soulmates was a broken concept of love. ruining stable relationships for the desire of an infallible sexual experience. to think fates were willing to reduce passion down to its most carnal physical form and bind people to it. 

it was the forbidden fruit for some. 

or what was left after it fell from the hands of celestia.

you weren’t in a relationship; had nothing to tie you down. but you refused to have your body hijacked by one person who could only rock your world because of erotic devine intervention. 

it didn’t make you easy by any terms, just determined to always have a taste for what else the world had to offer. 

there was good sex out there.

mind blowing, leg numbing sex.

and not everyone needed the most expensive cake in the shop to achieve satisfaction. 

and that had been the testament of your life thus far, until today.

you were there, edging over the line you’d come to know like a second home, when it all just stopped.

the sheets shifted as the figure hovering above used his hold against your headboard to halt the progression of his hips.

“sorry, i just can’t.”

and the dessert began to crumble.

his face pinched in a way that was far from sexy, “it’s not you.”

of all the times. 

“i just thought it was all myth and legend you know. it wasn’t possible for one person to hold the key to your sexual awakening, right?”

and now he was pulling out. no, no, no. you head hit the stale fluff of your pillow with a thump. 

“or maybe it’s just you-.

you found flimsy satisfaction thump in the sound that came from knocking the second pillow into the blonde head of hair.

“okay, okay. not you. it was great before. but now it’s just—“

archons.

groaning into the mattress, you accepted that the mood was beyond repairable, left to simmer in the rustled sheets and sticky wetness connecting your thighs. honestly what was fate thinking ruining a perfectly good thing. 

“you don’t even love them, kaveh.” you grumbled out crassly. maybe it was a little insensitive. but it was true.  

he’d run into them on a whim, no more bound to you than you were him. it had only taken one night and and a short consideration to make a difference it seemed.  kaveh had once he was a pessimist like you; willing to stick a middle finger to fate and find your own asylum without discovering the road paved out for you. 

the two of you shared stories, marking your own sexual discoveries while exploring ones of your own. you could have married him. 

maybe. 

eventually, possibly, after accepting that you had unearthed all you could from your back- and other various positions.

were you selfish to deem it unfair ?

you’d taken a chance. you filtered through all the variables in an attempt to beat the odds. only to have it slapped in your face. and they even took away your orgasm with a last hoorah. 

“it’s fine.”

it wasn’t. 

well, you would move on. he was the best so far but there were plenty of fish in the sea it seemed as if he caught a bigger one, so to say. it wasn’t the least bit awkward as the two of you gathered your clothing, less of you as in the comfort of your own home you were comfortable in just a shirt and panties. 

an old shirt of his in fact. 

the last of your collection. 

he has the nerve to actually look guilty at the door and you can’t bring yourself to weigh him down any further. 

“hey, we were in a mission to find all the wonders of sex. be happy you get to clock out before your dick fell off.” the pat on the shoulder you give him feels lacking, but you had to stretch to get there so it wasn’t without effort. 

his lips split into a small cautionary smile. 

“hey, maybe yours is—“

no. nope. no evil spirits in your house. 

all hospitality leaves you as you press and prod him through the door. just because he was content didn’t mean you were ready to accept the deal. 

“don’t let your next orgasm send you into a coma. baby steps, kaveh.” 

he laughs like you expect him too, waving you off with a wider grin as he departs, likely to slip into the bed of his dreams. 

and now you were left with an absent orgasm and one less reliable partner. 

great.

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it’s funny how something so soul binding can’t even be properly taught in school. it's wholeness left for young people to discover on their own experience and limited research on the subject available to the general public. teachers spoke lightly on the topic of becoming one with another through body and soul.

the only interesting thing to come from joining the akademiya was dissertations being written as close to erotic novels. 

you convinced yourself to take it easy-ier over the last few weeks since kaveh's unforeseen retreat. you were not that desperate for a good lay and fate would end up handing you want you didn’t desire if you weren’t careful. so instead of your usual nightclubs and after hour ventures, you found yourself wasting hours in lighter pubs. 

maybe not completely losing time. a decent drink and sound music was as good a stress reliever as any. 

relaxing into the bar seat, you manage to keep from losing your balance. the lack of back support seemed like a latent encouragement of chances of falling to the floor, but you were only two glasses in at the moment. as your fingers traced the edge of the glass in languid circles, you wonder if you should just call it a night. 

it had been quite awhile since you’d let yourself wander into bars. back in your early undergrad days, it had been in the accompaniment of friends to alleviate any stress built up over the semester. it was safe to say you’d matured a little since then; or at least discover an alternative that was just as satisfying. 

but then kaveh had to go and ruin that. 

it was as equally frustrating to admit you were both dissatisfied with the abrupt departure as you were pleased it ended before it festered into something too entangled for you both to escape. though 'finding your soulmate ‘ route was still well outside your expectations.

nearly a year ago, your introduction to kaveh had been fortuitous. he was a graduate, senior to your status, but a frequent of the akademiya due to renovation projects. he had been a pretty face, an easy distraction when his latest construction was near the vahumana school grounds. 

all it took was a pair of wandering eyes and a few smiles to strike up a conversation. after a cursory drink here and there and a night out of fun, the kindling chemistry began. 

it had never been an intention for either party to make it more than that. one shot too many had kaveh confessing about his mountains of debt that put him in direct servitude to the akademiya. 

and you had no desire to date either, at least not while the sages were still prickling your nerves about research. but you also were willing to admit that you were getting a little too old to be bar hopping for a night out.

kaveh fit comfortably in the midst of both criteria. 

he was a reliable lay and it helped that lately it took effort to run into one another. he was always focused on a new project and you spent more time in the library than your own apartment. which was ironic, because the majority of your ‘meetings’ occurred at your place rather than his. 

something about a belligerent roommate. 

now he was out gallivanting in the desert in the pursuit of creative inspiration; an interesting metaphor when he was towing his newest obsession along for the ride.

but apparently that was a thing of the past as you found yourself in an establishment that was better referred to as a tavern than a bar, or at least one less frequented by akademiya students. the campus bars were always full and bursting with a cocktail of students and occasional faculty members. it was a dangerous mix of egos and alcohol. 

it was why you found it worth it to venture to port ortmos on occasion to the habour tavern. the lack of boisterous music was nice, but the atmosphere was empty of intrigue. not to mention the place hardly offered a promising selection. not a favorable gift of wine, and top shelf liquor was hardly in their vocabulary, let alone supply list. you decided eventually not to waste time trying to explain the ingredient of a zaytum sunrise. 

a sigh tickled you lips and your shoulders sagged an inch lower. really there were more pressing issues than laminating over bed partners. you were rapidly approaching the end of your scholarship, making you one step closer to your dissertation. which was still a prospective theory with no hardened evidence worth presenting. 

it took something akin to guts to challenge the age old belief of soulmates. in sumeru, it was the equivalent of a religion and you stood as the outsider throwing rocks at the stained glass chapel.

what you believed wasn't meant to be interpurted as hate, but clashing ideology tended to paint one side as the villain in order to raise the value of the rest. 

you didn’t want to topple the pedagogy, but be given the opportunity to confront it fairly. but with a theory so widely supported in droves, it was no surprise that no one took it seriously. the akademiya hadn’t even blinked when you had proposed it, not threatened in the slightest. 

nor had you wanted them to be. all you wanted was to be heard and given the chance to provide a new perspective. 

your mentor had been rather agreable about the matter, offering encouragement and diffusing tension in equal bouts. but they also had their concerns, more so for your future than the present. 

though not insistent on deterring you, they often hinted at your growing fascination in conservation and rejuvenation of old practices to save the future. the histories of the past often held secrets for the future, they liked to say. vahumana was as proud as any house, determined to make their mark on the world and the research that gave it life.

but you liked to argue that the past also had plenty of mistakes as well, a shaky ground to dispute your soulmate theory on but one worth grasping all the same. 

“maybe i should just summerise my conservation efforts,” you grumbled audibly, reluctantly tipping the ice-melted drink down the back of your throat. it was the easy way out.  the more practical route with postgraduate application as well. 

discussing soulmates with anyone felt too much like a religious sermon. the emotional process was part of the passion needed to drive the evidence behind the dissertation. half of the presentation was to comfort the audience of your opinion and you had plenty to say on the matter. 

cutting your gaze back over your shoulder, you gradually took in the atmosphere of the tavern. it was small, likely a family owned heirloom passed down generations, a homey style that you’d seen quite a few bars back in the city try to replicate. frankly, it was dusty, cracked and you missed the appeal but it seemed popular with the quieter population. perhaps not as full tonight, but most tables were occupied by one or two patrons. sensibility correcting your wandering gaze, you reluctantly trained your eyes back forward. no need to garner anyones attention, there was hardly anyone here for that kind of late night ventures. mature men were a stark difference from akademiya students. you shudder off the imaginary thought of a stranger’s touch. 

eventually you set your glass down for the last time, signalling the bartender without a word as he rounded back to check on you. in their approach you considered balancing one more round on your psyche. it’d been only been your second glass, watered down at that. you’d linger longer if need be to sober up. but archons, did you just want a glass of wine.

you parted your lips to initiate the order, the bartender not far away to request, but then his gaze was snapping beyond you. a slow tilt of familiarity formed his lips, followed by a polite wave. mannerisms encouraged you not to turn your head, but curiosity was a painful pinch. it was almost too difficult to resist. you were grateful when the bartender moved for you, not even perturbed when he bypassed you for a few seats down. 

the quiet bustle was still too heavy for the distant conversation to carry. idly you twist at the mini straw floating along the melting ice as you way.  

it took a few more moments for the bartender to return to you, an apology muted at his lips but you shrugged it off, sliding the glass closer. “just one more. no ice.” he gave his affirmation, the soft smile still lingering. you weren’t piqued by his brightened service. he’d been nothing but amicable to you, but it was something to take notice of. 

the moment his back turned, the burning itch came back. just a peek. everyone got first looks, it wouldn't put you on the spot. you was sure it was nothing you hadn’t seen before but now you had to be certain of it, the tethers of inquisitiveness pulling at your gaze. 

okay, well you definitely hadn’t seen that. 

he was certainly something to observe. the first thing that caught your attention was his musculature, mainly the girth of his arms that were propped against the bar as unaware of the potential interest they could draw.  not to say it was the first time you had been impressed, but he was filled out in a way that tore a page out of a different volume. you had grown use to the leaner builds at the akademiya. 

but it wasn’t just his build, his presence alone took up so much space it was already hard enough to miss him without that silver threaded hair. he held an air of authority that felt strangely familiar yet foreign in the port. 

the click of glass against the counter brought heat to your cheeks as you were caught, your head whipping back to attention. “thank you,” but he was already gone, moving on to the next attendant. 

you filtered through a quiet breath, pretending to be engaged by your phone with spotty service. at this point you were nearing an issue you weren’t ready to admit to at such an early stage. while you were comfortable in saying you could go quite a while without kaveh, the eccentric architecture; kavrh jr’s absence was starting to have some drawbacks. 

to think the bastard was possibly warming someone else’s bed while you refrained from tempting your own. what you refused to believe was that it was the best time of his life. you brought that man closet to the archons than anyone could. 

yet here you were siting alone in a tavern nearly undressing a stranger after hardly a few weeks of no intimacy. what were you thinking even considering the idea? the bartender floated neatly around him but aside from that he hardly gave the impression of being approachable. 

archons ... and weren’t you just imagining how uncomfortable it would be to be approached by someone from this bar. but technically weren’t you one encroaching now? had this been just another city establishment, for one you’d have some proper wine. but at the very least you’d usually just talk. if the receiving end didn’t like it, then oh well, you weren’t circling them like they were the sun.

so he wouldn’t be any different.

besides, if you didn't say anything now you’d be running scenarios of this moment until you really did go insane. you dreaded the thought already. 

you were slightly attracted to him- okay, pretty attracted. and you were still a young adult, it was the season of flings and one offs. surviving your final year at the akademiya thrived a little excitement. cutting your eyes sideways, you recalculated your chances. maybe he-

“if you have something to say, say it. your flittering is just as distracting.”

if warmth described you before, flames were dancing beneath your skin now. the man wasn’t discreet in the slightest, not caring who listen to the exchange. or maybe he was speaking to someone else- oh no, he was looking at you and he was not very intrigued. for a pause you were caught by a churring sea of turquoise. 

you stumbled over deliberation shortly before a new emotion countered the transition. weren’t you just accepting cutting losses? if he was lacking interest then what was the point. 

against your internal will, your lips pulled into a scowl at the potent irritated disinterest in his voice.  “yes, because i’m sure it’s me that’s distracting” 

well, that was not exactly how you intended to start this whole scenerio. playing hard to get was already a slippery slope and your face of indifference was faltering. you could see it mirroring back from the look of reflection on his face. or maybe that was just him contemplating the consequences of just leaving. or maybe he was truly in with the owner enough to kick you out. 

for another moment it looked like he might just, and then something shifted. he reached for his glass again, the amber colour much like your own but in a higher volume. the amount of his intake challenged yours as well, or so you would have noticed if you hadn’t been so entranced by the movement of his adam’s apple. 

“-students.”

what?

you caught the tail end of fostering chagrin but you knew you were rapidly eating up his reserves for patience. really, he could have just been here to relax, not get harassed by some akademiya scholar. 

the man stared at you for a second longer, then scoffed. “apparently the standards have dropped. what school are you from?”

“i…” you trail off, feeling a little nonplussed by the implied merit. “vahumana.”

he hums, a sound audibly dry with scrutiny. “the study of history and the past of our predecessors. fitting to dig into the business of others as you cant seem to mind your own.”

you narrowed your eyes at him,” and you must have been haravatat.”

he huffed in amusement and reached for his glass, the rim tips against the tilt of his lips. he didn't diffuse your assumption. “why's that?”

“because only you would be so far up our asses to know what business we were sticking into.”

there was a smile, but the tone was serious. “cute. what year?”

“final.”

“good. any longer and you might have become unbearable.”

you shot him a look of rebuke,”those same standards would imply that you got kicked out.”

“aw, its adorable that you think we’re held at the same degree,” he said. “i’m afraid i simply out grew their expectations.”

you scoffed. he was so stupidly cocky. “uh huh.” you prepared to turn away when he chirped back, amusement bleeding into the heart of his motive.

“done biting already? didn’t think you would bend to authority so quickly. but i suppose akademiya students know when to fall in line.”

you shot him a chiding look. he came across as tall but the way his torso seemed to stretch even seated. it would have been impressive enough without the additional bulk that added an unfair amount of definition to his clothing—attire that had speckles of familiarity in both its design and colour scheme. 

“you work for the akedmiya.”

he watches you silently. allowing you to work through the calculations. he obviously wasn't a teacher, you would have at the very least heard of him by now especially since he was confirmed haravatat. he had maybe a year or two on you,  just enough to be an established graduate.

looking back now, he did look a bit distinguished. the fine details of his clothing hinted equally at quality and prestige. though the material was tighter to form than usual robes, but you would admit it had it's own unique sense of flair. still it didn't give the full answer you were looking for.

“that’s all you can differ? disappointing.”

“if i’m so unsatisfying, why bother holding a conversation?”

he gives you a look over and you realise you weren't the only one noticing a few things. he was just more subtle.

“with your mouth closed, you’re mildly appealing.”

you could barely resist the roll of your eyes. “funny, most men would say they might prefer it wide open.”

“you must have a lot of soulmates with that kind of confidence.”

this time the effort was for naught as you turn away. 

“oh, sore topic?”

his voice carried despite the action, a touch more smug. 

“well i’m assuming your odds of not finding your true partner are promising enough.”

surprised into reacting, you twist your body in his direction. it was an odd choice of words given the subject. it almost felt as though he were implying something.

“i have your interest then?” 

the intrigued man angled his body towards you leaving you no room to misinterpret his attention. “we both agree that there is physical attraction. and though i doubt i need more points, the likelihood of us discovering the epitome of pleasure is a low possibility.” the offer  is so blunt as he roves you over with calculating appreciation, but those eyes… that blue-green fire-

don’t find that arousing. he’s being a dick.

feeling a bit unsettled by your desire, you averted your eyes briefly before raising them back to his handsome face. you had never once considered yourself weak, the spirit alone strong enough to challenge the akademiya worth its weight in mora. 

pure stubbornness was your greatest defence against a lot of things. 

but temptation was a trial fought time and time again. 

he read your resolve like an open book and finished his drink in an impressive swallow before rising to his feet. he waved down the bartender with a quick hand and then put down a few notes of mora with the other. he walked with intent, hardly harbouring an inch of reprieve in any direction. whatever he was, this was his hunting grounds and he set his sights on you. 

your mouth was dry, glass still untouched as you visibly shuddered under his shadow, “i’m not some easy student-”

archon be willed, you denied yourself the privilege of running your sight down the length of his arm as it benched securely between you body and the bar. there was a smart smirk on his face that you hadn’t witnessed yet, a challenge that you’d be dragged through whether you wanted to or not. “no, you’re just spun too tight and could benefit from new lesson.” 

you parted your lips to rebuttal but he silenced you with a hum. “i’m not going to play the role of some authoritative figure you desperately need. you can either come along or play games with someone else.”

a streak of heat crackled along your nerves at the rawness of his words. to be honest, he looked absolutely done with your presence but there was a primal edge of something you couldn’t place rooting him there. whatever drug him down to this bar was still devouring away at him, tightening his defences to the peak of stress. 

yeah, you bet he could use a stress reliever alight. 

your eyes slipped close as a low groan escaped you.

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it had taken you an embarrassingly small amount of seconds to fork over common sense as you hastily scrambled to procure payment, only to have your attempts overrun by another careless slip of a few bills to cover much more than you had spent that night. it was no wonder he was so popular here.

he didn’t just walk like he owned the place, it certainly seemed like it as he guided you out of the door with a firm hand at the small of your back. not one pair of eyes crossed your paths and from the corner of your own you witnessed the bartender already moving to clear your spot. 

a minute later, you were outside in the slight chill of the nighttime air. but where you were expecting the man to hail a car, instead urged you along the cobble-stone path.

“you live in port ortmos?”

“is that a problem?”

“i just …”

he lifted his chin slightly, “expected me to live in sumeru city? no, i stay there enough for work.”

you hum thoughtfully at the new information,“so that’s why the bartender was so familiar.”

“or maybe he just likes me.”

“or maybe he just likes your money.”

“why are you so sure that i have money?”

it takes effort not to mention the cash he’d tossed so carelessly onto the table top. there could have been one too many stuck to gether, but he had not even paused to check. instead you gesture marginally to the fine clothing stretching over the girth of his arm.

“well at least i know you're only after my body.”

“it's certainly not your personality,” you respond flatly. 

“you would prefer the bigger of the two.”

you click your tongue and look away, determined not to snort at the smooth jest.

the short trip ends when he taps his key fob against the entrance of a modestly built apartment complex overlooking the port. 

“anyone you need to inform of your nightly ventures?" he breaks the silence as he hits the bottom for the elevator to jerk into motion.

it occurs to you with no great pleasure that he was indeed right. you had followed the man with only the speculation that he was part of the akademiya in some capacity. at least you had confidence that he hadn't drug you to some seedy part of town and as long as the bartender didn't sell you out, there would be an evidence trail. 

still you shot off a quick text to a friend, letting them know of your location in the port.

“good girl.”

you scowled to which he returned the gesture with a broad smile.

fortunately, the elevator door opened before anything more could spark. he stepped out first, leading you four doors down before unlocking it and flickering on the first light available. he waved you in with a nod of the head. 

if he was a secret murderer, he was one with good tastes. from the entrance, the home opened up into a modern looking living room with panel windows hanging high above the quiet streets. to the right, an impressive kitchen held more appliances than you even knew what to do with. you assumed the final hallways led down towards the bedroom and other accessory rooms. overall, it was quality living. something to dream of after finally graduating from the akademiya. yet it still did not offer anything more of his position. 

overly curious, you ask, “what is it you do again?”

he smiles, all mischief, “i’m just a feeble scholar.”

the man expects your scoff, lip curling higher as he vaguely gestures to the darkened kitchen,“i’d offer you a drink, but then i’d have to cut the night short. i don't sleep with drunks.”

you shrugged off your jacket, folding it over before lying it on the couch. “i’m not a lightweight.”

he tucked his free hand into his pocket, “but you’re in my home. house rules for guests i’m afraid.”

his shoes echo off the floors as he walked towards you, teasing closeness until you stepped back in turn. a second later, you were backed against the wall connecting the kitchen to the hall.

you swallowed hard to control the nerves flaring under your skin. it was infectious with the way his eyes travelled slowly from your eyes to your lips. he was shameless, continuing down past your collor bone to the subtle swell of your breast until the weight of his gaze dampened your breaths. 

eagerly, you arched your spine,” how else do you treat your guests?”

his eyes retuned to your face,” i suppose you’ve earned that much.” he shuffled closer and trailed his thumb along your jawline, then leaned in and kissed you. his other hand came up to cradle the other side of your face as his lips tugged gently at yours before coaxing them apart. 

then his tongue slips into your mouth and you whimper. its an embarrassing sound that pulls a reaction from him as he breaks the kiss. 

he’d never been close enough before to take in the spicy smell of his person, an additional spritz of expense. something about it burned your nose from this proximity, like he was activating too many of your other senses to not notice. his hands were hot and heavy as they groped at your body, following the curve of your hips and testing the weight of your breast. 

his tongue lapped at your neck, each action only a span of minutes already accumulating a pool at your core. 

you just wanted to kiss him again but he seemed to conveniently remain out of reach. to test it, you craned your neck again only to have him counter by nipping at your ear. 

“did you come to that place just to get laid, sweetness?”

you were beginning to edge away from the dry tone of his voice but he had yet to be proven innocent from the other assumptions. blood finally returned to your hands, rendering you with the ability to move as you grappled at his own body, lavishing in the not so hidden display of muscle. “did it look like it?,” you eventually responded back. 

that earned you another nip, obviously not the answer he was looking for. it wasn’t a gentle one either. the sharp bite of it was still echoing through your nerves and ripping a yelp of arousal from your lips. 

“i just wanted a drink.”

he bit you again. 

you quickly wailed out the truth of the matter, a short sentence about your growing frustration before waiting for another reprimand but the firm pressure of lips responded instead and you sagged into the warmth of it. you dared to ask the same of him but you doubt you had enough strength behind your teeth to get him to comply. 

his pace was ruthlessly, hands sliding and discarding clothing, certainly not interested in prolonging the moment. 

“you’re going to miss that attitude when i’m done with you.” 

the weight of his words should not have produced the reaction that it did. but god did it make you so wet. this man would probably fuck anything. and everything would let him fuck them. 

you’re grappling on to his bicep, meaty muscle probably tenderised from long hours at a pricey gym. he loops one of your legs around his waist, leaving the other standing to allow more room for himself. his fingers are dry when they first touch you, though not for long as they absorb the slickness your body throws at him wantonly. a thumb tweaks your numb and your breath hitches into a pant as he curls two thick fingers into you without warning. 

his face remains refined but his touch is explorative, teasing the spongy walls as he stretches them to their limitations. “unexpected debut but not a bad way to end the night.”

you wished his words would have less of an effect on you, the dichotomy of them and his touch making you out to be a blushing virgin. 

and he keeps talking. 

“akademiya girl, huh? bet you think you’re so smart. “

you keen lowly as he introduces a third fingering, forgoing rudimentary scissoring to just plunge them into your depths. you arch against his hold bucking with no ground to stand on. his hitches your leg higher as a reminder, threatening your barely there balance. 

“look at you, all spread out for me. i said what five words to you? did they not teach you manners? a lot has changed.” he presses with the intent of stretching limitations, and you’re grateful for the debauched ministrations. science and biology taught you more than enough about anatomical proportionality. 

“no resistance. you’d let me fuck you for less wouldn’t you? ” but with the way words just kept off his tongue without preamble, you were nearing certainty that he’d ride the glide of your channel without much resistance. 

he works a hand up the loose material of your shirt, sending your bra into disarray as he tweaks a nipple sharply. the pain is acute, shuddering through your body like a ripple. your groan rolls into a soft hiss as he does it again, enunciating  the action with words. 

“i asked you a question.”

the pressure returns and your body squirms. it's enough to plunk the strings of obediency as your mouth is quick to answer.

“yes!”

his fingers rip from you, cutting the strings of your impending release and you hear the tell tale signs of a belt jingle. the material of his pants shifts, but unlike you they never leave his hips. 

“fuck.” he frees himself, af the musk of him permeates the air. it’s almost intoxicating, urging you too look but you fight the urge. “i knew it. you came to that tavern looking for someone to bit that edge off.”

 you don’t have to, because he’s pressing into you thick and hard and your walls flutter around him. with efficiency, he hitched your last standing leg up as well, leaving you suspended at his mercy. “good thing i came in, i bet you were getting unbearable to your little friends.”

the wall reverberates against the knocking of your body, the offbeat staccato telling any nosey neighbours all they need to know. that's if they weren’t already use to the frequency of overnight guests.

“just needed a few pumps to set you right. “

you tilt your head back and his immediate reaction is to latch back onto your neck, no doubt intending to bruise you both physically and mentally. he’s not immune to his own sounds, grunting through explications with each thrust. archons, it’s so hot, feeling the weight of him dragging over the wet hole, soon to be coined as a delicious ache before the night’s end. 

it’s uncertain if he drew blood, the sticky wetness of your throat a toss up between the possibility and perspiration. 

his name. you need to know his name. desperate to whine it, cry for it, tattoo it onto your tongue. you ask as much of it without realising. 

-haitham. 

you’re supposed to learn of it so soon but don’t disappoint the expectation following the admission. 

“my name is alhaitham.” his name rolls off fluidly and you bite down to savour it before it’s gone.

your head rolls back against the wall, mouth parted for air as your eyes squeeze shut. your breast rise and fall with each hurried breath as alhaitham pins his focus on the thrum and the heat of your clit. 

he’s back at your throat, nosing against the constrictions as your voice strains high and desperate.it was dominating, overwhelming, and even though you could accept that you enjoyed it, you still couldn’t understand why. domineering had it’s attractive qualities, sure, but it was arguably a delicate matter. one that took a fine tuned perspective to account for any aversions and hone in on the pointes of gratification.    

and he knew.

“you looked so pretty at the bar. i’m almost grateful you were so nosy. now you look even more gorgeous. pinned against my wall like a painting.”

a shower of sparks rain down over you and cracks open the door to the flash of lights stippling the dark behind your eyes. you rock yourself forward until it becomes clear that you’re fucking yourself on his fingers until theirs both slick and resplendent with your essence. 

it should be the end, the cut off of your journey but the trip feels like it's leagues long until the horizon breaks and you’re no longer anchored to the terrestrial spear but floating within the realm of celestia. 

he removes his fingers slowly, excruciatingly so, and smears your release over your clit and skin. your nerves feel as delicate as your bones feel weightless. 

you're fortunate that alhaitham is close enough to catch you as you all but collapse against the wall, feeling like someone—no your fate intended—removed all the bones in your body. cheek pressed against his chest, you inhale the scent of his skin while wondering if this was the exact feeling kaveh had. it was indescribable. like you were racing toward the end of days, on the verge of expiring by your own inability to call back the breath that alhaitham had stolen from your lungs. it's a dichotomy of wonder and fear as you come to terms with a terrifying realisation. 

you want more. 

alhaitham lets out a throaty hoarse sound when you bury your hands in his hair and tug at the thick base. he presses his lips harder against yours, determinedly set on devouring you with teeth and tongue if he can get away with it. in turn, you wrap your legs back around the already familiar notch at his hips and squeeze, drawing your front flush against his. 

his erection remains hard and insistent. it’s enough to make you sigh happily against his mouth, arousal blooming above her navel at the promising orgasm it will provide. 

“i want you,” you gasp between kisses, cupping his cheek with one hand while the other continues to pull at his hair. 

alhaitham grunts again at the action and sneaks a hand down between you two to cup your wet mound. two fingers press up, spreading your spend and is immediately reward with another sweet hasp from your lips as he teases the sensitive nub. 

archons, just the faintest touch of his fingers against you is enough to drag back the reminder of the shattering kaleidoscope until the only thing you can think of is him—alhaitham— with either his soul-binding fingers or his cock buried inside. you don't care if it's a repeat performance or something new, as long as you come. 

the truth is so palpable between you but alhaitham has sense enough not to mention it. instead he dips as his arm slips under your knee to pull you into his arms. he walks you towards the darkened hallway where the door at the end opens into his bedroom.

alhaitham pulls at your clothes and you let him, sliding them down until you’re left with nothing and reaching for his. he follows you onto the bed, bracing himself over you. he lowered his head to kiss you, holding you still as he ravishes your mouth until you’re forced to break apart, breath haggard from the effort. 

you blink blearily up at the broad shoulder hovering just by your nose as you resist the itch to squirm. the grip holding you down had lessened dramatically in the last few minutes, the weight of trust holding you still. a soft sigh tickles your lip as his forehead rolls against yours, light and nuzzling.

“you’ve finally lost some of that attitude. that is good. you’re doing so good,” his voice is less dry, holding warmth and reverence for compliance. your head tilts up to seek his lips again, craving the gentle touch and the taste of exhalation.the sharp edges of thoughts fade away, leaving only room to consume and receive. a reward comes in the tweak of thick fingers returning to your apex, twisted deep within you and curling for purchase. in return, you sigh into his mouth, pleased, as you rock into the affection.

“think you can return the favour? let me see what all the fuss is about?” his smile savours the flavour of saccharine, both appealing and intoxicating and you find yourself nodding in acceptance without cause. alhaitham knows he has you anyway- always had- you’d crawl for his mercy if just to have a a taste of the nirvana only he could give you.

he feels the motion of your nod, pressed so close,” i’d like to know what it’s like. feeling your open mouth, the sounds of your gasp as you choke on my cock. ”

his hand remains low, twisting within you as your own rides the length of his body. it’s a stretch, but you manage to brush against the underside of his cock, tracing the thick vein protruding against the surface. your heart thrums, seeking his praise even as his hand leaving you and his thighs shift upward until he hovers at your face.

the heat of him bobs from the movement, tapping your lip and smearing its tackiness. his hand cards through your hair, rumbling veneration as you lick it away then open your mouth to stretch around him.

alhaitham’s hand, girthy and wide, teases the nap of your neck, forming a brace without asking. the rhythm of your tongue is met with a heavy groan of approval, the volume increasing as you swallow around him. the coordination of suction is breathing is an erratic dichotomy but you managed- for him. your mouth continues to caress him as he grows, hips beginning to undulate in aid.

“you’re going to swallow it all, aren’t you, sweetness? for me?” he’s curled over you, blowing through harsh pants as he coaxes another inch down your throat. it still lacked the depth that he would have wanted, but you would still make it good for him.

tears bubble behind your eyes, though not from pain, from sacrifice as you nod once more. it’s still an impossibility to take him to the hilt, but with passion you come close. swallowing the bitter taste of him until the taste of it is tattooed on your tongue. it’s a musky bitterness, thick with salt.

his voice is but a whisper, rolling against your ears. “yes, sweetheart. make me proud.”

you splayed your hands against his thoughts, fingernails digging a little into the skin there but alhaitham could care less. in fact, you dared to say he enjoyed the pinch of pain. it most noticeably shattered his ability to prologe his release as his eyes closed and he allowed the orgasm to surge through him. 

this close, it was impossible not the notice the intense ripple of sensations as his nerve endings sparked with a powerful wave that had his knees trembling above you. just when you feared he might topple, he leaned back, rolling to the side and combing a haggard hand through his hair. 

then your eyes connected and the truth you’d damned up inside, burst forward, barrelling through your defences and overwhelming you. 

this man. alhaitham was your soulmate. this stranger whom you’d let take you home, ravish you beyond your wildest dreams and given you an core shattering orgasm that you were still reeling from. alhaitham who had come to lean in closer than you realised, must have come to the same conclusion as his mouth sealed over yours. 

the featherlight caress of your lips to his made your body yearn for something more than one-sided release, the promise of coming together as one—

a sudden feeling of panic gripped your gut as the final dreads of your euphoria dripped away. scrabbling for your bearings, you nudged at him until he had no choice but to pull away, leaving you more exposed than ever. 

alhaitham’s face was flush with exertion, eyes to feverish but his face was unguarded with uncertainty. 

“are you alright?”

no, you definitely were not and you wouldn't be until you got home. even then you likely wouldn't be okay. you never would be the same after tonight.

“i should go—i shouldn’t have—i just need to leave.”

your heart seized with the sudden ache as realisation weighed down on you. this was not how this was supposed to go. not at all. you pushed yourself off his bed and onto your feet, hastily scrabbling for your clothing. 

alhaitham picked his movements carefully as he straightened up on the bed,” it’s fine if you need space. i know this is a lot but it’s late. you should stay the night.” he gestures out out the door,” my roommate is gone for the weekend, you should take his room.”

but you were hardly listening as you pulled your top over head and headed for the door while working your arms through the sleeves. despite his offer, you continued past the adjacent door until you neared the entrance. 

alhaitham’s steps were heavy as you followed behind. his hand came to your back to steady you as you hoped from one shoe to the other until they fit snug. 

“you are overwhelmed and it's too late. you're not thinking clearly. i don't want you out in the city like this.”

you turned on him before he could finish, “you don't know me. just because were—you—,” you guested widely between the both of you. “this doesn't change anything. “

reading the room, the man carefully held up his hands in surrender. it should have been a commercial sight for a man of his stature given his still nude state. 

“okay, okay. just wait, please.”

it’s the agreeableness that gives you pause. its give him just enough time to round the counter of the kitchen and rummage through one of the doors.  he spares the time to bring a pen to it. when he returns, its with a small card.

“i’m not asking for anything. but if you want to reach me, here. i wont seek you out. but you know where to find me.”

whether he was referring to the tavern or his home was vague. but the look in his gaze wasn’t. no matter how much he tried to hide it, it was there … the expectation. 

you turned away and opened the door, clutched the cardstock in your hand as you hurried to the elevate and punched the downward key until it blinked and the doors opened. you threw yourself inside, not looking back not when the doors closed but until you were free of the building and ducking into the hailed car. 

fucking kaveh, it should have never ended this way.

it had been quite a long time since you’d felt anything remotely shameful after a night in bed with someone new. with kaveh it had never been an issue as he’d wormed his way into a positon of comfort before he’d ever reached your bed. 

the both of you had decided that you enjoyed the fragile lining between friendship and something more, confident that neither would seek out the unknown. he was focused on his growing list of projects to offset his student debt and you were still trying to make the most of your own expenses into your education. 

it had been a simple arrangement that you had been forlorn to see it unravel. but you couldn't put stocks into blaming kaveh forever. he certainly had not led you to the bar housing your soul mate and had no ploy in getting you into their bed. 

no the blame had been solely yours. 

you had barely been able to look at your reflection in the mirror, finding it all the more damning to written the swollen redness of your lips and early signs of hickeys dotting your throat. there had been no point in examining the rest of your body as you slipped into the shower to wash away what you could. however the ache of his presence remained seeped into your bones even as you fell into your blankets.

there had been one too many unsuccessful attempts to silence your mind, your more reasonable half having a field day over-analyzing your choices. 

eventually you'd given up on sleep altogether in favour of squinting against the glare of your phone. if you were going to be riddled by guilt, the best thing to do was to spin it into a web of evidence. for months, you had been trapped trying to craft a damning theory to challenge the damn-near will of the gods. 

and in return they made you into your own attestation. 

in your initial presentation, the sages had challenged your theory as one-sided, some even edging to accuse you of envy. at their age, it was difficult for you to speculate if one or any of them had found their soulmate. there was no rhyme or rhythm to discovering your fated partner. 

some discovered them early, others had to wait until their last breath. 

but in the city of sumeru, where the god’s will was paramount to divine expectation.

if anything the only thing worth of your envy was the free state of mondstat where the country had thrived under their archon’s guidance to seek out their own fate.

it was a plausible dream but sumeru was your home.

closing your eyes, you leaned back against the flatness of your pillow. but behind your eyelids, however, were the lingering traces of last night’s memories etched there. it began with those blue-green eyes, then the image panned out to reveal the entirety of alhaitham, broad and defined in ways built from a fantasy. 

hissing out a sharp curse, your eyes snapped open to shatter the visage. 

it was starting to feel like a never-ending joke. why could it not be as simple as falling in bed with an attractive man. 

you’d barely typed out a sentence before you eventually gave up, signalling defeat with the snap of the device closing. rubbing your eyes, you kicked the device to the edge of the bed and sprawled back against the bed. 

hopefully tomorrow would bring forth a more concise mindset.

|     ⚘⚘⚘      |

you woke several hours later tangled under a sea of blankets and the lingering taste of zaytum peaches. the faint glow of sunlight coming through the window indicated that it was sometime in the afternoon. instinctively, you rolled over to reached for your phone, heart stuttering at the feeling of hard cardstock against your fingertips. 

there had been no effort made to forget about what had transpired less than twelve hours ago, nor was it meant to be a rude awakening. those thoughts were better suited after a shower and something to eat. 

for now you roll out of bed in pursuit of the bathroom, mint taste and burn of mouthwash would help restart your day on a better note. you considered a second shower as well. the heat and steam was always a nice balm on a clogged brain, always helping to clear your head and think. 

the promise of peace lasted about as long foam forming from the slow drag of your toothbrush against your teeth. it didn't take very long at all for your mind to sink into reality; the fog dissipating somewhat as you realised with dread that this would not be something you could avoid without some confrontation. 

alhaitham

the name did not come without an overhanging cloud of density. it was a weighted thing, something of a reminder but you could not figure out the source beyond the stranger you’d met at the tavern bar. 

it was fairly customary name in sumeru though your tallied occurrences were low. perhaps a stray soul at the market in passing but nothing of significance. it had been an akademiya joke to place him in harvata without truly knowing, purely inspired by the natural flow of banter. 

but there wasn’t an alhaitham currently part of the darshan that you knew of. to be frank, when the name alhaitham came to mind it was only accompanied by occasional whispers in the absence of a highly regarded graduate and now scr—

your brows rose with each fragment of proof as realisation dawns with nauseating clarity. the soothing shower quickly becomes a brisk wash as you will your mind to calm. 

you were so stupid. so so stupid.   

spitting carelessly into the sink , you stagger through your strewn clothes as you return back to your bedroom with renewed vigour. the card you had tried to forget was quickly snatched up.

alhaitham kaysani 

grand scribe 

he was that alhaitham. the name bringing forth sobering clarity that had evaded you while post-orgasm. you had only known him in name, never having the opportunity to meet him. he wasn’t just faculty, he was damn near a sage after his achievements and one of the youngest to get so close. 

and he was your soulmate. 

snarky

callous 

rational

these were all phantom rumours stitched into the reality of the man you’d come to witness. 

but he was also dominating

attentive 

and responsible when baring you to the world and unravelling you at the seems. there could be little fault in you for not recognizing him at first given the circumstances. you had never met the man before yesterday.

now, in the safety of your own home, you can admit to yourself that deep down, twisting your perceptions, you'd be a little relieved to have found him. yes, you were scared— worried that fate might have skipped you in your doubt— but the fated milestone was reached. and he had wanted you, albeit sexually, the setting had made you desirable enough to bring you home. even after discovering the truth, he’d reached for more. 

in the end, you liked it; the weightlessness of floating above yourself for a moment; the rush of endorphins that seeped into the still waters. just the memory of it all has you tingling all over, hairs rising in protest. 

despite your misgivings, the reality of it was, what you’d left behind was unfinished business. there was no plausible way for you to just go about your lives without addressing what was discovered. you knew your stance on the matter, but it was equally as important to understand his so that there would be no confusion in the future. 

you were both scholars, but he was more welcoming to the present evidence than you were. though given the abrupt shift in your reality, a bit of additional clarity felt like a needed kindness. 

tossing the card back down, you returned to the bathroom with the first spark of determination kindling. if your thoughts were going to be set aflame, you knew who to invite to the bonfire.

                                                 |     ⚘⚘⚘      |

“i thought you said you and kaveh were through?”

finding a friendship with dehya had been an unexpected but appreciative experience. sumeru city was built by and for the cultivation of scholars under the aged guidance of late archon of sumeru. the akedemiya prided itself on its accumulation of knowledge, though it had yet overcame its ostracism of the children of the desert. 

it boiled down to conflicting views of the source of knowledge and whom it ultimately belonged too, but those like dehya hardly cared little of the dispute. it was old news kept relevant but elders who needed to let the new generation decide the future.

ultimately, she found interest in your defiance. shared stories among drinks and good company overwriting centuries of bad blood.

you drew the steaming cup warming your palm closer, finding solace in the simple smell of caffeine rather than the taste of it. dehya kept her inquiries limited when you had first requested her company at the portside coffee shop but now her curiosity was brimming as she scrutinized you from across the table.

“we are.”

“so this has something to do with the random quality of life text i got last night?”

the curl of her lips hinted that she already knew the answer, the slow grin widening further when you tossed her a less than impressed scowl. 

“i found someone new.”

the sharp red of her freshly pained nails drummed patiently against the table top as her raised brow encouraged you to get on with it. 

with a huff, you opted to just get it all out. 

“i met a guy at a bar who ended up being my soulmate.”

the woman had the courtesy not to laugh outright in your face, but the quiet snicker that escaped through the side of her mouth couldn't hide her amusement. 

“you know i was rooting for you. i thought if anyone could defy the odds it would be you.”

her support, while generous, was one-sided towards your benefit. dehya had her restraints when it came to the exaggerated nonsense spewed by the akademiya on the subject. but she couldn't deny it’s biological merits after discovering her other half in the form of her childhood friend and now girlfriend. 

dunyarzad believed in a more muted rendition of the historic value of soul mates, a hopeless romantic that thrived on the magic of dreams. in a way you both humored the young woman, if only to be plagued with her infectious smile and outlook on life. 

dehya smirked, leaning forward on her elbows. the flaky croissant you had purchased as a show of gratitude forgotten. “so you go out with a stranger and they rock your world … and now you’re in the same boat as the rest of us."

you stare at her blankly, “it’s not that simple.’’

“it is if you stick by the facts,” she answers smoothly. “so you had one good night, you’re not obligated to marry him. if anything, you're the one hung up over it. why not just leave it as that and move on?”

your body jolts with the instinct to protest, but the weighted gaze she holds over you keeps you rooted until the words seep in. you had hardly delved into the details of the night, but she was reading you like an open book. 

society’s expectations weren't your reality. nor had alhaitham’s surmise given his perplexed but visible patience during your hasty escape. he had made the same discovery as you but didn’t hold you accountable for an explanation. 

instead he gave you the option. 

seek him out or leave it as it was. 

knowing him would be an emotional burden but you had lived this long without encountering him and would eventually outlive the physical reminder. 

dehya drew your attention back by the soft sound of her spoon clinking against the side of her mug.

“you’re my friend, but sometimes you scholars are all the same.”

setting the spoon aside, she leveled you with a look. “once you get a theory planted in your head, anyone outside of it is well out of reason. you all forget that the world is full of theories and opinions and there is so much more to explore if you would be more wiling to accept ones that aren't your own.”

her face softens as she reaches out to fold her palm over yours. 

“you came to me for advice at least, so let me give it. everyone's soulmate situation is unique. your parents for example.” you flinch at the mention, years of memories solidifying the reason you sought out the akademiya. 

dehya's fingers squeeze in reassurance as she continues. “at least hear him out. maybe their theory will compliment yours. and if not, well next time call me to a fight rather than a cup of coffee.”

the thinly veiled joke pulled a tight smile from your lips. 

she was right though. as a scholar you had encouraged a new experience and were left to analyze the variables. the night had been an unexpected outcome but not a failure.

in the end, you liked it; the weightlessness of floating above yourself for a moment; the rush of endorphins that seeped into the still waters. just the memory of it all has you tingling all over, hairs rising in protest. 

despite your misgivings, the reality of it was, what you’d left behind was unfinished business. there was no plausible way for you to just go about your lives without addressing what was discovered. you knew your stance on the matter, but it was equally as important to understand his so that there would be no confusion in the future. 

you managed to finish your coffee before dehya eventually coaxed you out of the shop, muttering about a fresh text from dunyarzad as you parted ways at the entrance. 

the warmth of her encouraging hug still lingered as you plucked the contact card from its perch on your nightstand.

flipping the card, you found a neat scrawl of additional numbers, the intention clear. 

with that in mind, you reached for your phone and typed out a message. 

‘i’d like to talk.’

your thumbs tap against the screen idly, hoping he was awake and wouldn’t keep you waiting. it was a safe assumption that the man was a morning person when the reply was sent a few minutes later. 

‘fine. would you like me to come to you?.’

you thought about alhaitham coming to your flat. 

grand scribe alhaitham who was hardly as inconspicuous in sumeru city. 

soulmate alhaitham who had yet to have his way with you in your bed-

the last thing you needed to think about was either of you coming.

‘no, will you be home in the evening? i can be there.’

his reply was simple.

‘4pm.’

you stared at the text with a writhing feeling in your gut. it definitely needed to happen, a talk like this was better addressed soon than later. but maybe this was too soon. there was no taking the words back now but how hard would it be to just delete them? a simple swipe and tap and they’d be gone. 

you’d avoided alhaitham this long. and if you stayed away from a certain tavern you could continue to do so. he didn’t seem like a man who would put effort into something that lacked fruition. 

exhaling slowly, you tossed the phone away before you made another rash decision. confronting it now would be the smart thing to do. it was the best way to keep yourself from spiralling down a path of the unknown. just because you discovered your soulmate, nothing had changed. 

granted he gave you the best orgasm you’d had so far in your life, it was just that. a night of carnage that had you waking up with nothing but regret. how could anyone chase something so recklessly because they felt that the archons put their stars too close together?

yes, tackling this now would let you set the record straight. you didn't want a marriage proposal but that didn't mean— no, you wouldn't speculate or conjure up anything until you got on the same page. alhaitham seemed like a rational person, he likely didn’t believe in soulmates either. a good night in bed got the best of everyone. 

for a long moment, you stood in the noon shadow of your bedroom before eventually returning to the bathroom to finish your routine. as you brushed your teeth and washed your face, you tried hard not to look too close at your reflection again.

picking back up the phone, you craft and send a quick message to kaveh.

‘hope you haven’t fallen into a coma.’

and you hoped you aren't falling into a deeper mess. 

continued in part ii

[staar5384]

When All He Had Was You

kaveh x gn!reader; angst, hurt/no comfort, brief mentions of sex

an~ it’s more of a one sided x reader, but i still called it an x reader to make it easier for myself. my b

~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaveh had lost just about everything in his life; his parents, the original Palace of Alcazarzaray, his home, everything. Yet there was always one constant in his life; you.

You had found Kaveh sobbing by the decayed wreckage of his magnum opus.

Having lived nearby, and having to deal with the aftermath of the Withering’s devastating affects, you found the blond curled up at what used to be the front steps of his most prized creation.

You approached him, and thought at first he was incredibly embarrassed to be seen as such a mess, you offered him such comfort. You soothed him with reassurances, held him in your arms as he just let his sorrows wash away in the flood of tears pouring from his eyes.

After that day, you two became inseparable. You did everything. You supported him through his stupid decision to put himself in debt to rebuild the Palace of Alcazarzaray. Why? Because he was your best friend, and the joy that crossed his face after seeing the gorgeous mansion in all its glory was all you needed.

Of course, with all the debt, and having no home, he needed to move. You didn’t live close enough to the Akademiya, which meant he had to accept the offer given to him by an old friend, Alhaitham.

The first few months of him living there you weren’t allowed over. You never understood why, but you assumed it had to do with his new roommate. Whenever Alhaitham was brought up, all Kaveh did was complain. He complained about his bad attitude, his lack of letting him inside his own house when the poor boy left his keys at home, the unnecessary and cruel comments he made against Kaveh.

When the blond finally did allow you over, you got to meet Alhathiam and it was almost an instant connection. Even though Kaveh seemed to hate the guy, you found yourself enthralled by him, and him with you.

When Kaveh wasn’t around, you’d sneak over to visit Alhaitham privately, though his cold and reserved demeanor never broke. It was originally disheartening until the day he confessed his feelings for you in his own special way.

“Why was Kaveh the one who stumbled across you?” Alhaitham grumbled one evening. You were both curled up on the couch while Alhaitham read and you drew.

“I’m sorry?” You asked him in confusion.

“I mean, why didn’t I find you first? I would have made you mine already,” He flipped to the next page in his book. He spoke so nonchalantly for someone making such bold claims.

Your heart missed a beat as he spoke. You reached a hand up to clutch your heart, “You mean that?”

He nodded, still not looking up from the piece of literature in front of him.

“So what’s stopping me from being yours?” You asked.

“Nothing I suppose.”

“So then I’m yours.”

Alhaitham nodded, moving his arm from his side to wrap around you, “I like the sound of them,” Finally, he placed the book down on the coffee table. He leaned forward, kissing you softly.

You melted, the kiss softer and more gentle than you imagined. You kissed him back, and things quickly escalated from there.

That night you had fucked on that couch, and that night you became an official couple. However, you decided to keep it a secret from Kaveh, as to not upset him.

More months went by where you two secretly met, but the secret was harder and harder to keep. You spent less time with Kaveh, disappearing for days at a time, then returning with whatever lame excuse you could come up with.

It wasn’t until one day Kaveh came home early from work. He was ready to sleep, push aside his worries and rest his fried brain. Then he heard your voice from the kitchen.

At first he thought the exhaustion was driving him crazy, but then your laughter rang through the rest of the house and he instantly recognized it.

Quietly, the blond approached the kitchen. Why hadn’t you told him you’d be here?

When he turned the corner, he found you tucked safely in Alhaitham’s arms as you two whispered and giggled amongst yourselves.

“What the fuck?” Kaveh said in disbelief.

It was almost like he was in some sick and twisted nightmare. You, his best friend, his confidant, the person he loved was cradled in the arms of his shit ass roommate.

You were startled by the voice, immediately pushing yourself away from Alhaitham, “K-Kaveh..!”

“What is going on here?”

“W-We were just…”

“We were trying to enjoy a moment alone,” Alhaitham crossed his arms. “But of course the noisy roommate returned.”

Kaveh felt his heart pounding in his chest, the throbbing almost too painful for him to handle. Tears formed in his amber eyes, “Why?” His voice cracked.

“Kaveh, listen I-” You tried to speak, but the blond cut you off.

“Out of everyone, my roommate!? The person who has done nothing, but berate me!”

“I know it looks bad, but Kaveh I never meant to hurt you!” All the guilt that had been festering these few months was bubbling in your stomach, making you nauseous as bile rised in your throat.

“The one thing I had was you. You were my friend, my companion. Alhaitham has everything! The money, the looks, the friends, the career. He has everything I don’t!” He was crying, hot tears streaming down his flushed cheeks. “But I had you,” His voice was nothing more than a whisper.

You were stunned. Kaveh had never confessed this insecurity of his to you. You never realized he was jealous of what Alhaitham had; and now the man had you.

Kaveh turned and left without another word to you. He ignored your pleads and calls for him to come back, to let you explain yourself. Bullshit. It was all bullshit.

He made sure to grab his house key as his slipped out the front door, and went down to the tavern to hopefully drink himself dead.

[reason-with-the-underdog]

faranak & expectations of motherhood

imo i think both kaveh & faranak both don't really know each other as well as they'd like, given the years and physical distance between them

so faranak defaults to treating him like she would a fellow architect or a friend-- talking about work mostly and polite well wishes

kaveh would like more than that from her but he absolutely won't say that out loud to her... so they drift apart bc he can't bear to face his disappointment when reading yet another polite exchange over letters

like imagine kaveh usually sanitises his troubles in a breezy unbothered sort of way, to make sure she wouldn't worry about him, but he had somehow hoped/feared that she would read between the lines to the real him regardless

but no its just professional advice that she sends him in response and he puts the letter aside to answer later (...a very long time later)

i think kaveh's a very unreliable narrator when it comes to his mother (understandably so) which leaves a lot of room open to interpretation on how "bad" of a mother faranak was

we do know:

she suffered from major depression after her husband's death (to the point that kaveh says he never saw her smile again until her second marriage in fontaine)

she was unable to work for some time, possibly until she started travelling abroad to fontaine & got a job offer there

kaveh felt guilt and thus spent all his time with her and never showed negative feelings around her (before reaching akademiya enrollment age)

he didn't protest faranak moving abroad to fontaine for her new job even though he didn't want to be alone (at this point he was old enough to say that he can live independently)

he went to fontaine for her wedding for three days total after receiving "an unexpected letter" (were their letters already far and few between?)

she left him all of her sumeru property to him (including a locked diary with advice to him about his future)

they've lost contact now as of kaveh's hangout

from faranak needing to be reassured before accepting the job offer to move abroad to fontaine permanently and her diary with concerns about her son's future, i think it's clear that faranak does love kaveh and care about his wellbeing, generally

however i think kaveh & faranak seem to share mental health struggles that make it difficult for both of them to open up a way that would actually bring them closer

additionally, it's pretty clear faranak was not involved in kaveh's actual development as an adolescent/teenager-- no one ever brings up her name when talking about kaveh's portfolio of work, even though she is also supposed to be a famous architect in her own right as well

its clear her influence seems to be limited to his interest in architecture early on, rather than having been able to shape his philosophy and thoughts

ultimately i think they've lived separate lives for so long, that now, with both as adults, they find that they're familiar strangers to each other. it's entirely possible they can work on their relationship and become close again, but it's also not completely necessary for either of them-- they have built new and full lives such that they can continue being polite correspondents and nothing more

you can say she failed as a mother, but parenthood isnt the whole of a person's identity or worth. i think that's the difficult part of parenting, and especially motherhood.

you can be a "bad mom" objectively and still love your kid and have meant well

you can still fail your kid with the best of intentions

you can have done your best while mired deep in struggles and yet that wasn't enough

ultimately: its fascinating/sad that moms get reduced to their motherhood rather than a person. and that's def faranak to me. a "bad mother" perhaps (thought kaveh won't agree), but that's not all she is regardless

[entropyvoid]

HKVH Fic Recs List

I had such a stupid amount of tabs full of HKVH fics open that I was reluctant to close, that I decided to just bite the bullet and compile a list of fic recs. And I figured if I was going to do that, I may as well share them. Unorganized and in no particular order.

every good intention (is interpolation)

A month after Alhaitham has gone missing, Kaveh finds a journal when rumaging through his things. The journal is encrypted in an ancient script that few know, and the only reason Kaveh does,
is because Alhaitham had him learn it during their shared project in the Akademiya.

Below are the transcripts.

Alhaitham character study, angsty with a happy ending, might come for your kneecaps if you’ve got autism feels™

Flower Language, Sickly Sweet

It would not happen. Not ever. Not with the way they always fight, nor the way Haitham subtly knocks his ego down a peg, nor the way Haitham ignores his presence altogether when he doesn't feel like entertaining Kaveh’s whims. It’s not the actions of a man in love. Kaveh would know. He’s been in love for years.

He’d only just recently accepted it, but it is true, undeniably so, and a sick sort of dread had crept up his stomach ever since he figured it out. Not the fluttering butterflies of an innocent crush, but the weight of knowledge that can never be shared.

Boundaries. He reminds himself. Essential for a healthy bond.

Kaveh starts coughing up Padisarah petals just as his life starts turning around—of course this would happen, with his luck.

Hanahaki fic with a happy ending.

Spend A Little Too Much Time Together

Kaveh finds a young Rtawahist scholar breaking down in the corner of Lambad's, and makes the best mistake of his life: adopting her with Alhaitham.

Found family fluff with some funny moments.

truck, barter, and trade

People keep coming up to Kaveh to congratulate him. Kaveh doesn’t really know why, and he’s a little too scared to ask at this point, so he heads back home, content if not a little bemused.

He is, unfortunately, reminded of it the very next day, when the door slams open and Al-Haitham stalks in. “Mind telling me why everyone was congratulating me today?” he demands. “About your pregnancy?"

Or: Al-Haitham is, without a doubt, the most annoying person Kaveh knows. Maybe the world’s second-most annoying person can help Kaveh figure him out.

Another comedic and fluffy found family fic with Kaveh and Alhaitham accidentally adopting someone, but this time the child is Wanderer.

hemlock lovers

He pulls out his cards, and then Kaveh watches as Alhaitham pauses for a second, blinking quickly. Like trying to focus his eyesight. He had only had two glasses, hadn’t he? Surely Alhaitham wasn’t already feeling the alcohol. He was not a lightweight like Kaveh was.

A night in the Tavern goes awry, fast.

Sickfic, Alhaitham gets poisoned.

…and they were roommates

Kaveh is looking for his keys. Al Haitham is a brat. And Nahida? Well, Nahida knows her things. In words of General Mahamatra: being roommates always meant somehing more interesting.

Short and comedic.

Like This

Alhaitham wakes and recognizes not the maroon of his wine nor the crimson cover of tonight’s text, but the garnet of irises near enough to his own that he can clearly see the flicks of obsidian within them. This is the common room, he realizes. He has fallen asleep here while reading often enough for that thought to come easily. All others, unfortunately, ping uselessly against his consciousness like water droplets sliding over oiled skin. How can he think, in this situation? He has lifted a gaze blurred with sleep only to find Kaveh leaning over him — a hand braced somewhere on the back of the divan and a knee pressed into the cushion between Alhaitham’s thighs.

Or, in which Kaveh crosses the line between them and Alhaitham does not let him take it back.

fast as you can

“I returned to the tavern after I brought you home, found the man whose name you told me and punched him square in the face. Are you happy now?” Alhaitham leaned closer towards Kaveh. “Do you believe me?” There was a strange intensity to his eyes.
The unexpected honesty had Kaveh utterly confused. For a moment, he was quiet as he ran his fingers over his temples.
“I don't understand why you would do this for me. Is it to put me in even more debt? Don't I owe you enough already? Tighnari is convinced you did it for my sake.” He let out a dry laugh. “Unless you're like, secretly in love with me, there'd be no-” Kaveh's words, uttered without much thought, got stuck in his throat when for the shortest of moments, a conflicted expression ghosted over Alhaitham's face. Kaveh felt like the air was being pushed out of his lungs.
“W- what was that?!”

A Quiet Thing

Alhaitham cursed, clawing at the creature whose jaws were still firmly affixed around the delicate bones of his wing. He felt warm liquid rush down his hand as he pushed at the creature’s face, heart rate spiking as he realized it must be blood.

Then, a noise that would stick with him for the rest of his life.

Alhaitham obtains a grievous injury during an investigation, and learns to deal with the aftermath. Kaveh is there to help, but the road to recovery is not a smooth one.

Wingfic, injury/recovery and getting together, a bit on the longer side.

Scarlet Sands and Crimson Eyes

Inspired by the movies Hush (2016) and Revenge (2017)

During a mission out into the desert to round-up an extremist group being led by one of the former Sages, Alhaitham's headphones are destroyed. He decides to stay behind through the night to fix them, but gets ambushed by leftovers of the Eremites and dragged across the desert. He gets nearly assaulted, thrown off a cliff, impaled on a tree, stabbed, and shot, and all the while can't stop thinking about Kaveh. It must be because he didn't want to die while Kaveh was still living under his roof, right?

Deaf!Alhaitham fic, dude goes through it but it a badass. Pretty long but will have you on the edge of your seat the whole time.

Appeal to Stone, Ascend to the Skies

“So much for solidarity,” Alhaitham said.

“You’re not even on your own side, you harpy,” Kaveh grumbled in reply.

Alhaitham unexpectedly wakes up with wings, and must learn to come to terms with absurdity.

12 chapter wingfic, a bit of a character study for both of them (but mostly focusing on Alhaitham.)

Wine Red

A scene has been on replay in Al-Haitham's head for the past two weeks, so vivid that it only seemed like yesterday that it happened.

It began like this: Kaveh was absolutely hammered at the bar, and although Al-Haitham had reservations about bringing him home with him, the tavern owner begged him to take his roommate home. And so, Al-Haitham had an arm slung over his shoulder, supporting Kaveh as he stumbled like a newborn foal, quiet and dazed.

“Pretty.”

And with that one tiny, drunkenly made compliment from Kaveh, his daily routine was thrown into disarray.

OR: Al-Haitham has feelings, disregards them, but is forced to confront them anyways. How lovely it is to be in love with your roommate. Hurrah.

testing, testing

When Kaveh discovers that Alhaitham has been reading a book about human sexuality and kinks, he generously offers to assist Alhaitham with some sexual exploration. It’s a risky proposal, and one that could end very badly—thanks to their falling-out years ago, the two of them have trust issues galore.

But it turns out that Kaveh and Alhaitham are surprisingly good at trust and communication when it comes to sex…which raises some questions about the nature of their relationship, and where exactly this whole experiment is leading them.

“Look,” Kaveh says, “if you’re going to approach sexual pleasure like an experiment, most potential partners won’t take too kindly to the idea of you having sex with them for science. Therefore, to spare all the poor people you’d inevitably insult in your quest for data, I am willing to be that person.”

“How charitable of you,” Alhaitham says.

“And I assume that you’re somewhat comfortable with the idea of having sex with me,” Kaveh adds, “or else you wouldn’t have been so willing to have my fingers in your mouth just now.”

but what would you do if I went to touch you now?

Al Haitham directs half-lidded eyes at Kaveh, his wet hair sticking to his forehead, his sweater stretching over the planes of his torso as he raises his arms to lay his head on his hands. Kaveh finds the charcoal and resists the urgent need to tell Al Haitham to stay still so he can capture him like this, made up of shadows and comfort. “I suppose having a rope doing the work for me would be best for the mental and physical effort of it. I commend you for thinking of that.”

“Don’t flatter me now,” Kaveh half-heartedly protests, wincing slightly. It’s so odd when Al Haitham does that; as much as Kaveh complains about him being rude, there’s nothing more off-putting than Al Haitham’s backhanded idea of compliments. Finally pulling out the cotton rope, Kaveh sighs and makes eye contact with him, shaking the item in his hand. “You might hate this.”

“I might like it,” Al Haitham refutes, raising an eyebrow. Kaveh struggles to justify the little jolt from his heart at the idea.

-------------------------

In which Al Haitham (rather charitably) allows Kaveh to use him as a model for his art projects, Kaveh has an idea, and it all spirals from there.

The Dragon Rises in Wartime

The anonymous complaints confessions of a long-suffering Sumeru resident regarding his horrible roommate and his one-man war against said horrible roommate's purchase of the ugliest bed in all of Teyvat.

Although really, the most important question here probably is:

Why are you sleeping in your roommate's bed?

A really funny reddit-post style fic, with a little bit of explicit recordings on the side.

[actiniumwrites]

rant about nilou because i’m sick of people hating on her character:

nilou is not a bland character and i hate the way people constantly make her out to be one. the argument that she has no personality just because she’s kind and happy is so stupid to me.

she cares a lot about dance, she cares so much for the people around her, and she’s willing to fight for what she wants. some people say she did nothing in the archon quest. um, did we play the same quest? the arts were heavily looked down upon in sumeru and were on the verge of being banned in their entirety by the sages so academics could be the sole focus. the others could’ve never completed their mission had she not gone and danced in a public space (while it was banned) effectively drawing all the attention on her so she could help save not only the arts, but all of sumeru. she didn’t even hesitate to accept alhaitham’s plan if it meant she could save what she cares about, nor did she care about the possibility of getting arrested. not to mention, she literally got her vision because of how dedicated she was to her craft.

some people even have the audacity to say that kaveh would’ve done more than her. let’s be real here, i love that man, but he could not have done anything as significant as nilou. there’s a reason he only showed up at the very end.

just because she doesn’t have a super dark and angsty past like every other fucking character in this game, just because she isn’t hardcore or a badass like some of the other women characters like dehya, yelan, or beidou, and just because she’s a pure and happy soul does not make her bland or personality-less at all.

[icypenguin]

Ooh I got this idea from another fandom ehe~

oh and um...I don't know much about the fanfic terms like au or hc so...bear with me ehheh

I wanted to request something with haikaveh where people see in black&white and their vision gets blurrier and darker the more years go by, until they are completely devoid of sight. That is, until they set eyes on their soulmate.

Sso, it could be something like, the first time Kaveh sets eyes on Alhaitham or vice versa and their worlds explodes in color ehe~

I love your worksss!! ♥️

★~ Hues within the world

HELLOOO IM SO SORRY I FORGOT TO ANSWER UR REQUESTTT IM SO SORRY DEAR ANON 😞😞😞 BUT SIJNXIJNSOJNS THIS IDEA IS HONESTLY RLLY CUTEEE EHEHBEJNEE ANYWAY I HOPE U LIKE THISSSS PLEASE ENJOYYYY!!!

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

the world was monochrome. black and white. not a single hue of rainbow. people were in different shade of black to white.

5 years ago, kaveh and alhaitham were best friends. that is until they seperated paths in major. till then, he had never seen alhaitham anywhere. furthermore, he though al haitham already forgotten about him. until he received an unexpected mail from the akademia.

the sumeru akademiya invited him to work together with the akademia to design a mechanism for studies. he, ofcourse was pleasured to achieve this just as he was writing a mail back to the akademia, informing he’s free.

3 days later, he got ready for the collaboration and is on his was to the akademiya. while he was walking there, he overheard a small talk.

“did you know? the blacksmith has found his love life and he was clearly in joy when he saw colours!” “him? i’ve never thought he would find the right one this early… tell me more.” “someone said it was the fishing woman.. i mean i guess they do match.” “that’s not what i meant! i mean, tell me more about the colours!” “oh right right… he said flowers have different colours.. the sky is bright.. the ground are in different shades too! isn’t that awesome?” “that’s more than awesome! man.. wish i found the right one that fast.”

hearing the talk made kaveh daydream about being able to see bright and dark hues all over his vision. he had always ask his mom about the wonders of colours, but his mom didn’t tell him much. she only told him that fate will bring the perfect one for you when you’re already 17+. he thought about it, “why haven’t i find the right one yet?”. he didn’t know whether seeing colours or having the perfect one matters more.

he continued his walk to the akademiya and finally he arrived. he was greeted by the grand acting sage. “welcome, welcome. i’m sure you still remember this place” the grand acting sage gave out his hand for kaveh to shake it. “it’s a pleasure to be invited, i didn’t expect such a thing.” he accepted the grand acting sage’s hand and they both shook hands in delight. “come in, come in. we’ve been planning to see you. perhaps you could do a comeback?” the grand acting sage joked as they both laughed. “it would be an honour to.” kaveh was not kidding, it was like he got accepted to be in a high ranking or something!

“follow me, the rest are waiting for you.” kaveh followed the grand acting sage but the small walk leaded to something else.

he was walking beside the grand acting sage when all of the sudden “sorry to interrupt, the reports had some missing parts, if it’s not found by this dusk i couldn’t hand it out to the traveler” kaveh locked eyes with the person who had just appeared. those eyes seemed familiar. at that moment, his vision sparked with colours that he’d never seen before. there were hues and shades of different colours.

the same was happening to alhaitham too. his vision were blasted with colours. and as he was not usual or familiar with this, his eye stung and he had to itch it to see clearly. “well then, i’ll fetch some students to look for them. thankyou for informing.” the grand acting sage looked back at kaveh and alhaitham whose both seem to have a problem with their vision. “are you both alright?” alhaitham war still struggling a bit to see but when they both locked eyes again, it hit them. they were the perfect one, soulmates. “i’m fine, just had dusk in my eyes. farewell for now.” alhaitham rushed to try and see in his new vision.

kaveh was lost in thoughts, both in his vision and alhaitham, “was he really the one?” “theres so many shades of colours” “is this really it?” “i can’t describe how this feels..” “am i hallucinating?”. he was looking around the akademiya with colours surrounding him. “kaveh? kavehh?” he didn’t notice the grand acting sage was talking to him. but he shook his head and focused right then and there. “oh s-sorry. i was just.. lost in thoughts” kaveh scratched the back of his neck and looked down. “hm? what were you thinking of?” the grand acting sage looked at him curiously. kaveh didn’t know if he should tell the grand acting sage or not. but for now.. he decided to keep it as. secret. “nothing, i was just excited to what will come after this” the grand acting sage chuckled as they both continued to walk.

not even a minute, kaveh was welcomed in a room with a huge rectangle wooden table and some fancy wooden chair that is carved into a beautiful motif with pillows attached to the bottom and back (IF U GET WHAT I MEAN IT’S BASICALLY LIKE A THRONE). as he went inside the room, there were 5 people inside, 3 student and 2 grand acting sages.

“ahh if it isn’t our lovely architect!” “kaveh, kaveh! welcome in” “pleasure to meet you, sir” everyone stood upon their seats and bowed to the newly greeted kaveh. ofcourse, kaveh was excited to have this meeting. “go ahead and take a sit, i’ll be right back” the grand acting sage told him. so he sat next to another grand acting sage. then the meeting started and ended well. everything was going well. everyone thanked him for his presence today, and is looking forward to see him tomorrow again to make the mechanics.

just as he was about to exit the akademiya, he saw alhaitham standing by the gate. he knew they both needed to talk about something. “kaveh.. long time no see” alhaitham turned his back to face kaveh. “may i talk to you for a bit?” alhaitham seemed eager to talk about this problem. without any thoughts kaveh responded, “alhaitham! i was delighted to see you earlier. and ofcourse! i’d be willing to” kaveh got closer to alhaitham.

they were facing eachother but none of them was brave enough to talk. “i.. i think..” “did your vision change too?” kaveh asked alhaitham, wanting to know the truth. “yes. yes it did..” alhaitham looked into those red irises eyes. “i might need to say something to you, haitham. when i heard your voice.. i knew it was familiar. i was.. honestly please to see you again. i’ve been looking everywhere, i just.. want our old days back. but then my vision blasted with colours” kaveh tried to be as confident as he can but it was awkward to say all of the things in his heart. “i need to do a confession as well. i knew the grand sages were trying to give you a part here, i was.. wondering around the akademiya and trying to maybe catch a glimpse of you. i know this sounds cliche but honestly.. i’m glad fate brought us together” and at that moment, that was the very first time, kaveh saw alhaitham truthfully smiled after 5 years. 5 years of longing eachother.

“it’s nice to have someone back” kaveh smiled as he ruffled alhaitham’s hair just like back then. “who knew you were the one?” alhaitham ruffled kaveh’s hair back as they both joked around. “i thought i’ll be getting a pretty girl yknow” kaveh rolled his eyes jokingly. “but i’m glad.. i think fate really does know we’re meant for eachother huh?” kaveh looked at alhaitham whose staring at the now hued sunset. “i’m more than glad, as a scribe, i’ve never pass through a word that could describe how grateful i am for this” he closed his eyes, relaxed by the vibe. in the end, they both are happy with whatever this miracle was.

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

THANKYOU FOR READINGGG I HOPE THIS IS WHAT U MEANT ANONNN I HOPE I DIDN’T GET THE IDEA WRONGG… BUT ANYWAY I HOPE YOU LIKED IT AND HAVE A NICE DAY/NIGHT!!!! advices are accepted thankyou!

[abyssin]

👫 listen though ; childe and kaveh

Send a 👫and I’ll write four headcanons I have about our muse’s relationship! / accepting.

kaveh's the voice of reason who has to see childe do the stupidest & most immoral shit & despite all odds, childe always survives it & it leaves kaveh absolutely stumped. why did childe jump in that suspicious hole in the middle of nowhere and in the desert? childe why is there a bloody knife buried into your shoulder? hey what the fuck do you mean when you got stuck in the abyss for 3 months as a kid?

that being said, on less risk-taking situations where it doesn't activate childe's impulsive neurons, kaveh is someone childe will actually listen to if he asked the harbinger to do something. kaveh is someone honest and passionate and with genuine intentions. it's not something childe sees often, especially considering the environment he's in, where harbingers have their own motives despite serving the tsaritsa. kaveh asks childe to take a break? childe will sit and just vibe. like a good golden retriever.

on the other end too, i like the thought of childe dragging kaveh with brute force if he ever overworked himself. childe gets it! he can't sit still himself, he's always doing something, and he's naturally restless. but he sees how high stress of a person kaveh is & how it seems like he's working towards this... goal that childe doesn't see yet. childe's someone who has difficulty with empathy, so he does the next best thing and that's to move his ass, ft. kaveh getting dragged off! so ironically enough, kaveh is the voice of reason, but childe is the action of reason!

childe could care less about the other harbingers' activities here in sumeru, even less for the people itself if anything happened here. which i think is why, if kaveh & childe were ever to grow closer, he'd feel this uncomfortable itch to get away. kaveh's someone who loves beauty and the people so much, something childe relates to, but the harbinger has always seen it as something fleeting and temporary. for kaveh to build and create structures meant to stand until the end of time, it confronts childe with the realization that he can still care for things, but the tsaritsa's goal would lead him to destroy things. no matter what cost.

[amore-fics]

Alphabet Challenge: D

Letter: D

Word: Discovery

CW: angst, no comfort

Alhaitham had somewhat of a well known, but also well kept, secret. This secret was how much he loved Kaveh. He had held this secret in his heart for years, since their Akademiya days. Those around them knew all too well how Alhaitham felt for the blonde. It was obvious, really. But the reason it was considered well kept was because no one told Kaveh. And why would they? What good would come from it?

And Alhaitham knew this. Kaveh would not be able to handle the news. There was little to nothing that Alhaitham could do that was easy for Kaveh to accept. He did not accept good will or kindness from anyone. The fact that he took any from Alhaitham was damn near a miracle. Despite this, Alhaitham knew that he could not handle his feelings. If he knew, there was a high chance that he'd lose Kaveh.

He'd rather live the entirety of his life without ever telling Kaveh how he truly felt if it meant that he got to keep him there.

Despite living together for two years now, Alhaitham's feelings had not changed, not once. There were days when he'd purposely pick a fight or bicker with him, just to see how cute he got when he was flustered or annoying. Other days, he'd remain quiet and let him do his thing. Watching him flutter about the house in a rush because he waited until the last minute to do something was… very amusing.

It was a Saturday morning and Alhaitham assumed that Kaveh was out of the house, as he was wont to do on a Saturday. The man seemed to love going out to the markets on Saturday mornings. Usually grocery shopping, since the freshest fruit was available in the early mornings. When he heard a knock on the door, Alhaitham answered it and let the man inside, shutting the door behind him.

"Ah, I see you have good taste in furniture," the man replied, looking around.

Alhaitham shrugged, "My roommate picks out all my furniture. If he didn't, I'd be living with no color. That doesn't bother me, but it bothers him."

The man raised an eyebrow inquisitively, "And why do you let him decorate your home?"

The scribe shook his head, "Why wouldn't I? It makes him happy, and I want him to be happy."

The man crossed his arms over his chest and nodded slowly, looking around the home, "If he is naught but a roommate, why do you care if he's happy?"

There was a long pause before Alhaitham sighed, "Uncle, Kaveh is my world. The reason is nothing more than a roommate is because I would lose him otherwise. If I were to tell him how I felt, my life would shatter."

"I see," the man replied, "Well, let's have lunch then, shall we?"

In his bedroom, Kaveh had been working on a blueprint on his drafting table, when he overheard the conversation. His head perked up when he heard him mention roommate. And when he said the words 'Kaveh is my world,' he felt like he was going to faint. What? But he hated him, clearly. He spent so much time, twisting his arm and irritating him. How… He'd… have to confront him about it.

A few hours passed when he heard the door shut after Alhaitham said good bye to his uncle. Kaveh exited his bedroom and stepped into the living room, watching as Alhaitham turned around and saw him. The scribe blinked a few times in confusion, "When did you get home?"

"I never left the house. Alhaitham--"

"Are you not going to get groceries today?"

"Alhaitham--"

"If you aren't, I will go. I just need to know if you are or not."

"Alhaith--"

"Kaveh, are you or not?"

"Do you really think of me as your world?"

There was a silence between the two. Truthfully, Alhaitham didn't know how to answer that. He had heard their conversation, when he had thought that Kaveh was not even home. Now he knew…

The silence was deafening and Kaveh finally broke it, his voice shaky, "Alhaitham, why… Why do you see me that way? You know, better than anyone, that I don't deserve that. I don't deserve you feeling this way about me. Tell me you're joking. Tell me that your life wouldn't shatter if I were to leave," a single tear fell from his eyes and he quickly wiped it away, "Answer me!" he demanded.

Alhaitham hesitated and shifted his weight, trying to decide how to answer him, how to say what he needed to say. But the truth was, he had to lie. If he didn't want to lose Kaveh, he had to lie, "My uncle has always wanted me to find someone to live my life with. I told him that so he wouldn't ask. My life would not shatter if I lost you," he turned and walked into his own bedroom and shut the door.

That should've made Kaveh feel better. But all it did was make him feel worse. And he wasn't sure if it was because he knew that Alhaitham felt this way, or because he knew that he'd just lied to him. He'd have to live his life, knowing that Alhaitham felt a way for him that he shouldn't. Kaveh didn't deserve love, and he knew he never would.

[multimilfs]

Artemisia x Fem!Mermaid Reader: Legends Foretold

Summary: Your place was meant to be under the sea, among the creatures of the deep. But a curious situation, and woman, draws you in.

AO3

A/N: I’ve been working on this since I got the idea and honestly? I regret nothing. I might do more with this reader too! A lot of it is a mixture of what I could find on Persian mermaid legends and my own creative liberties. I hope you all enjoy it! 💖

Tag List: @ghostsunderstoodmysoul​ @multifandomfix​ @evil-feather​ @imtrashinflames​ @simplaif​ @elenaguarnieri​ @luna-wolfs-world​ @escapetodreamworld​ @nonbinary-cryptid-baby​ @angel7376 

Warning(s): Blood mention

The temperament of the sea was never certain. It wasn’t like a book or map, with clear lines or stars to follow. It took a sharp mind to read the waves and interpret them.

Artemisia, Commander of the Persian Navy, had been the most successful. With a sweep of her eyes along the horizon and sky, she knew what to expect. The ships would prepare accordingly and sail on.

In order to define success, however, one must also have failure.

Artemisia scanned the horizon with a trained eye. It was clear and calm on the water, promising a calm night. She went to her chambers as if it was so.

Though someone or something in the cosmos decided to throw a wrench into their journey. After the sun had moved beneath the horizon, a loud burst of thunder exploded above them. Wave after wave pounded mercilessly into the side of the ships.

It would have been easier to ignore, if she couldn’t hear her men shouting from the above decks. Rolling her eyes, she made her way up to command the guards and workers.

About half-way to where she needed to be, a particularly hard wave shifted the vessel. The sudden change threw off her balance and sent her slamming into a nearby wall. She let out a frustrated growl.

The scene above was very similar. Hard waves and jostles of the boat sent men across the deck. Wind whipped the rain like a lash, soaking her thoroughly in moments. She was forced to tie it back quickly in order to see.

“Commander, three of the generals have been thrown over by the storm!” A soldier yelled over the howling wind.

“They’ll have already been drowned,” Artemisia yelled back, “Seperate the fleet!”

Her command was relayed from soldier to soldier quickly. Then, using a special signal involving fire and arrows, those manning the ships attempted to move them away from one another. Putting some distance would cut down on the loss of vessels.

“Who have we lost?” She asked a nearby general.

“Kaveh, Arash, and Bahman.”

With a nod, she had accepted the fate of her men and moved on. There were more pressing issues at hand. She could replace generals.

As the ships rose with the waves, the lightning outlined their forms. Only the gods could see what was truly occuring.

——

The morning after was a humid, wet affair. Manning the vessels expertly had left no time for sleep. Now, with white knuckles, Artemisia clutched the railing of the commanding ship. No sleep was serving to make her mood very sour.

Of the dozens thrown overboard, five had been generals. The losses would make it tedious to locate more.

“Commander!” A voice yelled from somewhere behind her, making her sigh.

“What?” She asked.

“The bodies of the generals have been recovered.”

Artemisia looked up suddenly, expression full of fury. Her eyes nearly begged the man to say something foolish, to tell her of the only who’d gone behind her back to retrieve them.

“I never ordered their recovery.” Artemisia snapped.

“Nobody went, Commander. They were thrown on-board.”

Not believing such a thing, Artemisia gripped the soldier by his throat, squeezing tightly. He gasped and clawed at her hand.

“I am in no mood for stories.”

The man tried to explain that it wasn’t a story, but her grip was strong. Instead, he pointed. It was the only way he had to communicate.

Artemisia’s eyes followed his finger, until she was looking down into the water. And into a pair of eyes. She startled for a moment, before seeming to realize you’d been the one to return the dead.

Grudgingly, she let the man go.

“Are you the one to do this?” She asked you, motioning to the returned bodies, to which you offered a nod, “Then surely we owe you a debt.”

Her eyes scanned up and down your visible form, looking almost perplexed by you.

Your eyes glimmered and twinkled in the sunlight, nearly hidden by your hair. She was intrigued by the shy way you hid behind your hair, yet your obvious eagerness to help.

There were stories and legends of sea-people, who lived below the waves and boasted brilliant tails. Such people were regarded as signs of luck. Though few were bold enough to approach such a massive fleet.

“I can take care of her, Commander.” One man said, readying a large spear and aiming it for you.

“No.” Artemisia snapped immediately, “She’s done us a service of returning our dead.”

Any act of violence against a mermaid would be sure to have dire consequences. They brought luck by living, killing one would destroy all of them.

To preserve the luck they offered, you were to give them gifts in gratitude. To repay them for their actions.

“Bring something valuable to the deck.” Artemisia instructed.

The men scrambled to various places, returning with containers of valuable items for you to choose from. With a nod to you, they offered them. Artemisia watched as you inched forward with interest.

You came closer, but made no attempt to speak. The bright things they offered intrigued you. Glittering coins and a lightly tarnished piece of jewelry were the most interesting. You’d seen all of them before though, you wanted something else. Something new.

When you didn’t reach for anything they offered, Artemisia rolled her eyes. You were being unreasonably picky in her opinion.

“Are these not good enough?” She asked with a sneer, “Will nothing please you?”

Her sharp tone made you shrink away from the ship, looking timid now. Perhaps it hadn’t been a good idea to engage with any humans. You had merely been trying to help, but now you feared only one wrong move stood between you and a quick end. Humans were a violent species.

Artemisia stood up to walk away from the scene, the light catching a brightly colored jewel at her neck. It made you perk up. It looked nearly black to the eye, but was a beautiful emerald green when it caught the sunlight. A piece of dark metal was wrapped around it artfully. You couldn’t take your gaze off of it.

She seemed to notice. Rather than continue on her way, she hesitated, watching you with curiosity.

As if attracted by a force, you pulled yourself up on the deck, reaching to hopefully examine the piece at her neck. Soldiers stopped you as they shoved you back into the water roughly. One of their sharp swords sliced at your skin, making you shriek and cower away.

“Get back!” Artemisia snarled viciously, “I did not order you to engage!”

The swords were pulled back instantly, but you paid them no attention. You were concerned with the wound on your arm. The blood spilt was minimal, but the pain was throbbing. A mermaid’s skin was strong against abrasive textures like coral and stone. Cold, sharp metal was a different story.

Once again, Artemisia knelt down to your level. You cowered away from her being so close, but the jewel at her neck was the object of your attention. She looked down at it.

“You have a refined taste.” She commented, looking amused.

You said nothing. Only moved your gaze back and forth from her face to her necklace, clutching your arm tightly. Shock resonated through the crew, and you, when she unclasped it from her neck.

“Will this please you?” Artemisia asked, holding it out.

An eager nod followed her question. With a curiously pleasant smirk, she let you pluck it from her palm. The wound on your arm was momentarily forgotten as you cradled it in your hands. It sparkled pleasantly, making you smile.

Mimicking the woman in front of you, you slid the necklace around your own neck. You had to be careful not to catch it on your gills though. It took a bit of maneuvering before it was situated.

You looked up at Artemisia with sparkling eyes. She watched you with a carefully indifferent expression, but you could swear there was something else there too.

“It suits you.” Was all she said.

Expecting the necklace to be a token of gratitude, you went to swim away when you heard a ripping sound. As you remained frozen in confusion, Artemisia ripped a strip of cloth from her clothing, reaching out to wrap it around your wound. You didn’t know what to do. So you gave her a small smile and nod, before vanishing back into the waves.

Artemisia knelt near the water until she could no longer see you beneath the surface. Then she stood, looking out over the water with a pensive expression.

“Do you believe she’s granted us luck as the legend promises, Commander?” One general asked.

“Yes. The seas will be smooth in the coming days.” Artemisia nodded.

Without another word or command, Artemisia vanished into her personal chambers. Leaving behind a crew of astonished men and a sea of calm waves.

——

As she said, there was only smooth sailing from that day on. The fortune of the sea-people had smiled on them. But in time, all things run out.

Artemisia’s personal ship was intercepted by an unforeseen vessel. The guards on board were rendered useless to decapitation, meaning that the Commander was left unguarded on the upper deck.

The sudden situation of finding herself surrounded had infuriated her. She used that fury to fight them off. But there were dozens and she was only one. She was being forced to the railing of the deck.

“What have you to say, oh great Commander?” An unknown man sneered, holding a knife to her throat as he forced her to bend against the railing.

Not daring to dignify someone below her with a response, she spit in his face rather than responding. He flinched away, before hitting her across the face.

She let out a grunt of pain. It’d been a long time since someone had raised a hand to her.

“You’re going back to where you belong, you-“ The man started, before stopping suddenly. He let out a wet choking noise instead of words.

Artemisia could see something sticking out of his neck and shoved him away, hard. His body flew backward and slammed onto the deck. A light held by one of the men illuminated it, showing a shard of seashell embedded in the skin.

Turning around, Artemisia saw you sitting on the railing, baring your teeth in a snarl. Her eyes widened in surprise. The men surrounding her took steps back, not expecting you to be there.

Not wanting to tempt the fates, the men turned and fled the scene. And much to your surprise Artemisia did not pursue them. Instead, she stood and stared at you.

“The Gods continue to place me in your path,” Artemisia said at last, “I owe you my gratitude.”

You said nothing, simply gave her a nod and smile. People of the sea were picky with whom they shared their voice. And though you’d come to her aid twice now, you weren’t sure whether or not to trust her.

“I’m out of treasures to offer you, since you claimed the jewel around your neck.” She added, with a motion to the emerald resting against your sternum.

While she spoke, you propped your chin up on your palm. Artemisia rolled her eyes and slowly moved closer to you. She moved until there were only a few steps between the two of you.

“What token do you desire?”

You looked her over for anything of aesthetic value, coming up on nothing. Not that it was what you wanted. Wordlessly, you held your hand out to her, motioning for her to come closer.

Artemisia hesitated and narrowed her eyes, examining you thoroughly for a beat. Then she moved ever closer to you. Slowly, so as not to raise her hackles, you placed a hand on her cheek.

Her eyes widened, but you didn’t pay it any mind. You leaned in and placed a kiss on her cheek. When you pulled away, she turned to look at you. And in doing so your lips nearly met. It sent a pleasant flush through you.

Before you could do any more, you gave her a shy smile, and dove back into the water. Not looking back to see her watching your departure.

——

Since her second encounter with you, Artemisia declared that any sighting of you was to be reported to her. It was an odd request. However, none of them were brave enough to question her. It would mean their own death.

So when they caught sight of a fishing vessel with a familiarly shaped creature in the nets, two guards were sent—at a run—to Artemisia’s chambers.

“Commander, she’s been spotted!”

Her reaction was instantaneous. Any other activity she’d been engaged it was forgotten as she climbed to the top deck, looking to lay her eyes on you.

Shock colored her face, followed by fury, as she heard your screeches. You were no longer in the net of the vessel, but being poked and prodded on the deck. The hard metal of their swords and harpoons were slicing your skin. Blood was pooling from your various wounds while you attempted to move away from them.

“Get us near the vessel!” Artemisia demanded.

While generals and soldiers scrambled to fulfill her request, she retrieved her swords from her chambers. She wasted no time in boarding the fishing vessel when they were close enough. Easily, she cut down one of the men slashing at you.

“Release her.” She ordered.

“Who are you to give me an order, woman?” The fisherman sneered.

“Release her or I will force your hand.”

“I’d love to see you try.”

With a concentrated flick of her wrist, Artemisia swept her sword upwards, knocking the harpoon from his grasp with ease. The tip of her sword nearly slashed the man, leaving a hole in his shirt. He looked at the spot in terror. Then, he fled the scene.

“Anyone else feeling foolishly confident?” Artemisia asked, raising a well-used eyebrow.

All the men shared a look, before deciding to run at her. A sickening grin spread on the commander’s face as she beat them back easily. With her left hand she parried, with her right she cut them down. The deck ran red with their essence.

Soon enough, only she was left standing. Her chest rose and fell with harsh breaths. The look in her eyes was distant, separated from anything you’d seen of her before. She returned to the present moment with some difficulty, sheathing her swords on her hips.

You flinched out of habit when she approached you. Her steps faltered for a moment, almost short enough to be completely unnoticeable. Kneeling next to you, she examined the wounds in your flesh. Most were shallow to your relief. One, however, had cut your neck just above where the emerald rested.

Artemisia ordered one of the nearby men to fetch a clean towel. When he did so, she used it to soak up the purple blood drying near the wound. You let out a hiss at the rough material against the open flesh.

“Can you explain to me how it is you found yourself in such danger?” She inquired, glancing up into your face.

“Nets are difficult to see in the morning light.” You said in a rough voice.

She reeled back for a moment, clearly not expecting to receive a response. Though her recovery was quick.

“I thought the sea-people had excellent sight?”

“We do. The nets looked like the surface waves, I was confused.”

“Clearly.”

“For someone who came to help me, you’re not being especially kind.” You pointed out, giving her a look.

“And for someone bearing my property, you’re not doing well to protect it.” Artemisia retorted easily.

“If you want it back, you can have it. I owe you a debt.”

“Keep it.”

“Then how am I to repay you? I know little of human desires.”

“There’s no need of repayment,” Artemisia assured you.

Her tone had a note of finality. She wouldn’t accept anything worldly--or even anything at all--as a repayment for coming to your aid. But it wasn’t your way to leave people without something.

The bleeding had stopped, to your relief. Artemisia was patching it quickly and securely. She would hazard a look at your face every few moments, as if looking for something, before returning to her work.

It reminded you of the last encounter you’d had, where you’d left her with a kiss on the cheek. Kissing was a human custom you’d been dying to attempt. You had little knowledge on the intricacies of such an act, though somehow, placing one on the cheek didn’t feel like enough.

When she had finished helping you, Artemisia leaned back to examine her work. The patch on your skin was secure and clean. She nodded to herself, as if commending her handiwork. Looking back up at you, she was surprised to find your face close to her’s.

Your eyes zeroed in on her lips, an unsure feeling churning in you. The knowledge you possessed was little; beyond watching a shared kiss between humans—many of them in secret—hiding along the banks of your waters. Once there had even been a pair aboard a small boat. The woman had wrapped herself in strange linens and hidden near boxes of cargo, startling as her lover wrapped arms around her waist from behind. He had shushed her with a smile before capturing her lips. You’d watched the interaction with curious eyes, until the woman let out strange noises when the kisses wandered. Something about such noises felt entirely too personal to hear.

Now, as you were inches from a similar kiss, you felt overwhelmingly worried. Would you do it correctly? What if she didn’t like kissing you? The texture of your skin was different than a human’s and you worried about scaring her off.

With the decision that you’d wasted enough time, you finally pressed your lips to the Commander’s. She froze the slightest bit under your affection and you feared it had been a grave mistake. But then her hand came to hold the back of your neck as she led the kiss.

Kissing was nothing like you had expected. It was pleasant to be held so close to someone so beautiful, but there was more to it than you believed. That much was obvious when Artemisia ran her tongue along your bottom lip. An action so sudden had startled you and you let out a gasp. That had been the perfect opportunity for her.

It felt as if no time had passed, but it must have, for there was a burning in your lungs that was building. You needed air. Unable to pull away, you let out a whimper.

Artemisia released you quickly. Her hands were pulled back from you like they had been burned. Blindly, you clutched at her arms, keeping her from pulling too far out of reach.

“What was that?” She demanded.

“I needed to breathe.” You gasped out, trying to compose yourself.

“Not that.” Artemisia snapped, making you realize she had been asking what prompted the kiss.

“You saved me and I was repaying you.”

Artemisia’s blank look made you uneasy. Perhaps you shouldn’t have kissed her, as she seemed entirely too detached from you to have enjoyed it.

“That wasn’t nearly enough payment.” She said finally, a smirk forming, “I’ll require more than that.”

Perking up, you couldn’t hold back the bright smile you allowed onto your face. You wasted no time in pulling her back into another kiss. Her chuckle against your lips was so intoxicating that you swore you could taste it, sweeter and more overpowering than any potion or alcohol. You let out a laugh of your own.

The others of the deep warned about humans, about how dangerous they were to your kind. This must have been what they meant. One kiss and you were dangerously hooked on her.

“I must go.” You said finally, regret pooling in your gut when her face dropped some of it’s amusement.

“Should I believe this is the last time?” Artemisia asked.

Such a question caught you off guard. In your mind, you knew it should be. You knew that this attachment would only bring you danger, but you didn’t mind so much. What was a life if not dangerously lived?

“My indefinite absence would likely bring you to harm,” You said softly, “I have no desire to have such guilt on my conscience.”

A small smirk formed at the corner of her mouth and she nodded. Her grip on you loosened, allowing you to slip back into the water. Before you did, however, you stole a quick kiss.

Artemisia rolled her eyes with amusement as you dove back into the water, vanishing in the waves, assured you would return one day soon.

——

Years and years later, sailors would hear a legend. A tale of what delight the seas could bring.

The legend tells that eternal fortune had befallen the great Persian Commander, Artemisia. For she was one to make history. Anyone could encounter the sea-people, but it was another to make them laugh. Even rarer was it to obtain their heart. The powerful Commander had done all three.

So while her foes sailed through deadly storms and fought uphill battles, Artemisia had the calm waves and advantage. She also boasted a most beautiful companion, if one looked closely.

None could tear Artemisia from the sea, lest you face her wrath. The people would avert their eyes, wary of the stories which surrounded her. Only the eyes of children could confirm the true image of the strong warrior and the sea-woman who granted her many gifts.

Whether on business or pleasure, Artemisia never strayed far from the sea, or the beautiful woman living within it.

For those to which the sea called, the story only made the call louder; proving that the waves could offer one true happiness for all days.