#but there's no way im doing that

[enbye]

PHROLLSONAS

It's apparently 2014 again because I just made Dan and Phil as Homestuck Trolls. I don't know what possessed me to do this in the year of our lord 2024 but I don't think any of ya'll are in a position to judge me

DANIEL HOWELL

Muse of Heart, Derse, Sign: GEMO

PHILIP LESTER

Lord of Time, Prospit, Sign: AQUIUS

EXPLANATIONS UNDER CUT:

I am in no way a classpect expert. I'm going based off what I've read and my Homestuck knowledge. I didn't get the classpect DLC when I got the homestuck autism- I got the Alternian Culture special interest instead. In any case, here's my best crack at it:

DANIEL HOWELL: MUSE OF HEART, DERSE DREAMER, GEMO

Derse dreamer- skeptical, rebellious, self-aware, “But as so much of their identity is built on control, they will do their utmost to hide any insecurities, often with false humility or self-deprecating humor.” 

Aspect: My first instinct was Time, but in order to be a Time player you have to have the ability to “go with the flow” just a bit. Not overthink things. They’re very action oriented, yes, but Time players should be able to rely on their instinct a bit. Even though the aspects are sometimes what the player would struggle the most with, I just can’t see Dan getting a good grip on Time at all. He’d have way too many existential crises, and he’d overthink things way too much. Also, Dan’s “ultimate self” is more about accepting himself, loving himself. Learning to appreciate where he is at the moment, rather than learning to take action without overthinking.

For that reason, I went with the HEART aspect. 

Class: I was tempted to go with Page for the whole “slowly start, but when they finally achieve it’s probably the most powerful class” but I don’t think the end result quite matches. I don’t think Dan’s ultimate self is about *using* his aspect. I think it’s about understanding and inspiring. For that reason I was tempted to go with either Mage or Muse. I know Muse is pretty much a “female only class” Or, at least, the paradox space tends to label it as such, but Sister Daniel does seem to be a big part of Dan’s journey to understanding and inspiring with his aspect so I went with Muse, cause fuck it.

For their blood colors I just went with what their zodiac sign was bc I didn’t feel like getting too wet and wild with the hemospectrum stuff so he’s a gold blood. 

PHILIP LESTER: LORD OF BREATH, PROSPIT DREAMER, AQUIUS

Prospit: Optimistic, reactive, intuitive. “They solve problems with creativity rather than cold logic” “When making decisions Prospit Dreamers tend to rely on gut instinct and whatever emotions they are experiencing at the moment.” “They have trouble thinking things through, and their feelings toward specific situations and decisions can change from day to day.” Idk it just fits

Aspect was a bit tricky. For a second there I thought Hope, but I didn’t think the “black and white” thinking fit very well. I was very tempted to go with Blood, but ultimately decided to go with Breath instead. I think the “”flaws”” for Breath fit better than the “”flaws”” for blood. Phil is, surprising for nobody but him, a great leader and inspirational, charismatic. He leaves Huge impacts in people’s lives without even realizing it. Without even considering it a possibility, even. Not became he’s insecure, but because that’s not his intention. Phil’s ultimate self is about the bonds he makes, which is why I was so tempted to go with Blood, but it’s also about finding a place that he is happy in, and about doing what he loves. The ultimate goal for Phil’s ultimate self is about enjoying the journey and motivating himself to be looking ahead, straight forward, and taking the actions to get there. 

Class was really hard to choose, I ended up going with Lord. I think Phil’s power for inspiration and adaptability is best utilized when he’s dominating a space he’s in. When he’s using his talents on purpose to achieve his goals. I think *that’s* what his ultimate self is really about. Using his gift for charisma, inspiration, motivation, and adaptability to achieve his goals in a very intentional way. 

Again, went with their actual zodiac, so violet blood.

lmk what ya'll think. Hopefully my explanations made sense? I spent WAY too long on this so I'm gonna go eat now

[puppppppppy]

filipina miku!! my mom helped me with her outfit ^_^

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[batcavescolony]

Katniss is such an unreliable narrator. She says "Then something unexpected happens. At least, I don't expect it because I don't think of District 12 as a place that cares about me" girl you deliver strawberries to the Mayor, you hunt and trade for the district, when you fell at Prim being chosen someone caught you, when you went to Prim people parted for you, when you volunteered EVERYONE stopped. Idk how to tell you but I think you're a pillar of the community.

[inkskinned]

you said you were stuck in a time loop, which was fine. i feel like late-stage capitalism has us all in a time loop, ammiright? you came barging in at 5:33. in the morning. i hadn't even processed the idea of coffee.

but you had this look of utter panic in your eyes. terror like the ocean. you grabbed my cheeks. im in a time loop.

i don't know why in movies the first reaction is to deny it. when someone is panicking like that, it's not appropriate to ask them to calm down. it didn't matter if i believed it, what mattered was that you believed it so much that it was consuming you.

so here we are. i pour you some of the dark roast. "you look like utter and entire hell," i say.

you push your fingers into your eyes. "you always say that."

i try to think of something funny to say that i wouldn't have said on previous time loops, but jokes don't land without the proper timing (lol). "remind me to think -"

"-yeah, of a joke that only works in the future. and before you say anything, i know you're pissed i just stole your punchline." you bolt the coffee, which is wild. it's very hot. you don't seem to notice.

i blow on mine to cool it down. i both am very pissed at you and also i can't see you in this amount of panic without wanting to help. but i'm also not really sure what we are, not since i saw you kiss her like that, no offense. it just was like, kind of rude when you knew i liked you.

and besides. i'm just like, barely a person. i write omegaverse fanfiction. i love the concept of a time loop, but what the fuck am i gonna do? send an alpha in there? i open my mouth.

you point at me. "you're about to ask why me. and then say some disparaging shit about yourself. i'm just a nerd who plays dnd or something. that self-own is slightly different each time." you sigh. "i know you think you can't really help me. i don't know who can help me. i only came to you because you fucking believe me." you check your watch, sigh, and throw your head back. you cover your eyes with one hand. "i've come here on 26 separate revolutions," you say. "you have believed me every time. and yeah, i have no idea how you fit into this but i just -" you sigh again. "i just like fucking talking to someone about it."

"do you need more cof-" i start, but you're already holding the empty cup out. i frown at it. "you're not getting any more until you promise not to bolt this one like an animal."

you laugh a little and sit up, pushing your hair out of your face. "okay, that's new dialogue. but to be fair to you, i'm not usually this rude. i'm still pretty new at all of this." you check your watch again. another sigh. i guess you're cruising for a personal best in the Sigh Olympics.

i almost tell you im not an NPC but i've played enough video games to know i'm very much an NPC. i pour you another cup. "so what happens in the loop?"

"really bad explosion." you mutter into the mug. you put your elbows on the table (rude) and bury your face in your arms like an angsty teenager. one hand floats up while you talk, because evidently you literally can't talk without your hands. "i have to save the day and there's this bomb and i have no bomb training and it keeps moving, you know."

"do i die?"

you peek up from your arms. "yeah. bigtime. you keep trying to run or stay or do anything and you always super die."

"oh."

"to be fair, like, everyone dies in it though.... so you're in good company."

i hate that you make me laugh. i hate that being around you always feels tingly and strange, this electric tension between us. something that is evidently (given how you stuck your tongue down a stranger's throat literally 3 days ago) (well. 3 for me) super one-sided. i take a sip of my coffee and close my eyes.

i die today, i guess. a little spark of panic starts at the top of my hands and starts whipping up my wrists.

"shit," you say. you look at your watch and jump to your feet. "i have to go. if i can come back, i will. i am still trying to figure out when is best to do everything, you know? the order of stuff. maybe morning isn't good for us."

i look up at you and think about how you keep kissing me in the back of my car and in alleyways and in the dark. and i can never fucking get a read on you. and i also think about how incredibly panicked you look. how broken. how long have you been doing this? "i don't want to die," i say.

you glance downwards. "well, you're not really dead, you'll come back in the loop."

"but i will have died." my hands are shaking. i am trying really hard to stay calm.

you push your hands through your hair again. "i really have to go. i will have this discussion with the next version of you, though. it is like, something i am thinking about."

"but i don't get a next version," i say. i don't really have the language for this, because i haven't had 26 tries with you. i only have my memories: you, a week ago. drunk and telling me you loved me in my ear. you, kissing her anyway. you, months ago, throwing up on my birthday, whispering to me i ruin everything i touch, always, over and over. please don't ask. i can't ever fucking have that be you.

i run my finger along the rim of the mug. "i don't want to die in this one."

you seem baffled by this. "i get that but - time will reset, you'll be fine, you won't even remember we talked about this."

"but i know now." i stand up too. "i have to live the rest of this day knowing i could die. knowing i probably am going to."

"you could always die, to be fair."

i feel my hands get out of control. "earlier, you said i always say a different insult about myself. what if you're just going through different parallel universes and those are all just different - but real - versions of myself? what if you're not in a time loop, you're in a fucking universe loop?"

"if it helps, i've wondered this too. also, you're hot in all of them. if that helps."

i point at you. "no flirting. i'm trying to figure out if i die today."

"who's flirting?" you catch my wild hands and give me that long, perfect smile. like we're in this together. "i won't let ya die." you check your watch and sigh again. "well. maybe not this time."

i grit my teeth. you are so not making quips at me while i try to explain the existential dread i'm having. "does the time loop reset if i fucking kill you?"

"honestly i don't know how long it continues after i die, because i just wake up. it could be that the loop goes until the explosion for everyone, and we're all in the loop, or it could be that when i die, the loop restarts. when i die i wake up, is all."

i pull away from you and stalk into the kitchen and start doing all 3 of my dishes. "okay, first, you know i was joking. and secondly, this is exactly my point. you don't know if this is just a parallel universe. maybe in the ones where you died, the explosion happened and nobody reset and it's just you travelling." i have to stop and push the heel of my palm into my eyeball. "... how often have you died?"

i look at you. you look at me. you give me this very sad, halfway smile and a little what can ya do shrug. something in that action seems so old and weary that i want to burst into tears.

"i have to go," you say. "really. for real. there's this family of five i save from getting into a car crash. and i know it's like oh but we're all gonna die in the explosion anyway, what's the point. and..." you shrug again. "it matters to me, is all. at least i saved them for now. at least i saved anything."

you pad over to me and wrap me in a tight hug. you always seem so tall against me. i feel your cheek rest against the top of my head for a moment. for a second, it's just us, and the space is warm, and my heart is a little broken hare.

you leave me there, and i stand in my stupid badly lit kitchen with my stupid mugs. i think about you. i start texting my mom that she needs to get out of the city, but it feels pointless.

i don't know what to do. tomorrow is the same day for you. but i have to prepare to die in my today.

[mutualcombat]

*bites ur scruff*

[full on twitter]

[edlucavalden]

Learning to eat with your hands.

[chongoblog]

Things That Happen In Gravity Falls Without Context

It's implied that rich people control their children with a bell

A single episode is shockingly reminiscent of both Five Night's at Freddy's and Doki Doki Literature Club. This episode came out 3 years before DDLC and one month after FNAF

Mabel kisses Strong Bad

There are two clones of the main character that are still alive and living in the woods

Larry King confirms that llamas are nature's greatest warriors

An old couple is killed by rap music

One of the scariest monsters in the show is eaten alive and loves every second of it

Neil Cicierega wrote a song for it that was unfortunately never used (yes, seriously)

Everyone in the town is a tad strange, except, ironically, Cecil from Welcome to Night Vale

Boy bands are kept as pets

A character proves she is pure of heart by performing a drug bust on gnomes (this does not work)

Zombies are defeated by Ke$ha

The most discourse-generating part of the show is a 12 year old giving a time traveler a snowglobe

And old man almost fucks a spider

When someone tells you they don't have a tattoo, believe them.

Fucking up a science fair will inevitably lead to your brother being stuck in another dimension

If you stick your head in a portal, you speak in code for a little bit before you turn into a hillbilly

Get your son to pay attention to you by creating a mech beast

We are all blanchin', unless we find a cool gun.

By the end of the show, the mayor's last name is "Cutebiker"

The president gives Dipper a negative 12 dollar bill

Bill Cipher

[here-there-be-drag0ns]

hey so since we're talking about how awful the minecraft movie looks we're all going to agree not to go see it in theaters right? not even to hatewatch it? we all are in agreement that its a soulless cash grab movie, so we all know that the only way to stop them from making more like it is to give them no cash to grab, right?

yes this includes watching it for the bit. yes this includes bringing your friends to go make fun of it. yes this includes just watching it out of curiosity.

do Not go see this shit in theaters. do Not give them your money. they dont care whether you enjoyed it or not, they only care about what number the box office gives them. so make sure the box office cant give them shit.

[foolsocracy]

identity reveals are always fun

[verflares]

just how long is forever? // not long enough, with you

pssst. check this out on inprnt :]

[savleye]

It leaked that the game freak devs working on Pokemon X and Y put born this way by Lady Gaga in the game code to test the audio and it's fucking killing me 💀 like I knew they were Gaga stans bc Elesa's design is inspired by her but this is so funny

[shepscapades]

Creaking Bigb!! I did these a couple of nights ago after watching bigb’s first wildlife ep >:]

[hinamie]

surprise it's yuri!!!in 2024

[hopefully-helpful-daemon]

*batkids going out in gotham for the night*

Bruce: And what do you do if you get stopped by the cops?

All of the kids: let Tim or Jason deal with it as the two white passing ones.

Bruce: Good, now go have fun.

[inkskinned]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.